[scarlet witch hunting male reader and america]
scarlet witch : you can't run from me-
male reader : [panting] okay stop! let's play and seek, we will hide and you will seek professional help.
america : [nodding furiously] that's a great idea!
tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy @loving-wanda-in-every-universe
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Doctor Strange: Please tell me you aren’t possibly destroying multiple universes, killing your parallel self, and murdering hundreds to be with your kids.
Wanda: I’m a good mom.
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Wanda: I went through an entire character arc during quarantine.
Wanda: I became more evil if you're curious.
Vision: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still!
Wanda: I'm going to get worse on purpose.
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[on the phone]
Natasha: Babe, I’m breaking up—
Wanda: I'm pregnant.
Natasha: I meant the call.
Wanda: Right, sorry. I panicked.
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Wanda: Name something you believed in as a child that you no longer do as an adult.
Y/N: myself
Wanda:
Natasha:
Natasha: detka, are you okay?
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Natasha: Is this your plan B?
Y/N: Technically, this is plan P.
Natasha: Plan P? Is there a plan M?
Y/N: Yes, but I marry Wanda in plan M.
Wanda: I like plan M.
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Yelena: It’s really frustrating.
Kate: What is it?
Yelena: Watching Y/N openly flirt with Wanda and Wanda not realizing it.
Kate, wearing a "Date Me Yelena Pls" shirt: Haha yeah, she's so oblivious.
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Wanda and Natasha walk into the diner and wrap Y/N in a hug…
Natasha: hey Y/N what’s wrong?
Y/N: my date never showed up
Wanda: oh detka. We will make it all feel better
Natasha: that girl wasn’t worth your time.
Y/N: wait! How would you know?
Wanda: I may have used some magic on her to make sure she wouldn’t show up
Y/N: what?!
Natasha: shh…you’re all ours now
Wanda: (purrs) we’ll be better girlfriends than she ever could be.
Y/N: o-okay
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Y/n, gardening: Hey, can you bring me a hoe?
Wanda: Yeah, sure.
*A few minutes later*
Wanda: Here you go.
Y/n:
Wanda:
Natasha: Why am I here?
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Nat: You know Archaic Latin ?
Y/n: I got bored with classical Latin.
Wanda: You know normal Latin?
Y/n: Yeah, someone from my sewing class taught me.
Nat/Wanda: YOU TEACH A SEWING CLASS?!
Y/n: You two don’t know everything about me
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nat: where's y/n?
wanda: said that they dont exist today....
nat: what?
wanda: its the 29th of feb
y/n: yes indeed! and so i dont exist! *runs and hide*
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scarlet witch : [try to insulting male reader] whatever souls are made of, you and mine are the same.
male reader : [put his hand on his chest] aww, that's actually really sweet wanda.
scarlet witch : what-
male reader : but you need to ask me out first before flirting this deep with me.
tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy @loving-wanda-in-every-universe
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Wanda: I just want to be with my kids Stephen
Stephen: And I want to be with Christine Palmer but you don’t see me messing with the multiverse.
Sinister Strange: Well actually…
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Y/N: *a stumbling drunk*
Natasha: *walks by*
Wanda, chooses violence: *pushes Y/N*
Y/N, crashes into Natasha: woopsie baby *turns to Wanda* be careful Wandy
Y/N: *slides on the floor and just lays there*
Natasha and Wanda: *stares*
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Wanda, handing Y/N their sandwich: But I added pickles, do you like pickles?
Y/N: I love them!
Bucky, after Wanda leaves: Are you going to eat that?
Y/N: [glares]
Bucky: What? You don’t even like pickles.
Y/N: I do now.
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Wanda: Y/N, you're offered 500,000 dollars, but if you accept it, the person you hate the most in the world gets 1,000,000 dollars. Would you take it?
Y/N: Of course, I mean, why wouldn't I want 1,500,000 dollars?
Wanda:
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