#incorrect avengers
mamaspidershit · 16 hours
Peter: I hate the word ‘discourse’ it sounds like Goofy saying ‘discuss’
Natasha: I can’t wait for you to leave for college
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marvelflame2010 · 2 days
Kidnapper: We have your child
Sam: What the hell, I don't have a child
Kidnapper: Then who just asked us for chocolate milk and made us cut the crust off his sandwich?
Sam: Oh no. You have Torres
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youseeingthis · 8 hours
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1luna1lovegood1 · 2 days
Loki puts salt in peters drink.
Peter: *sips coffee*
Peter: *finishes coffee*
Loki: Didn't the coffee taste weird?
Peter: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings, so I drank it all.
Loki: Alright.
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auroraromaximoff · 29 days
Wanda: There's a word to describe our situation you know
Natasha: Starts with an L...
Y/n: Lesbians!
Yelena: *Wheeze*
Natasha: Lost, y/n, we are lost...
Yelena: Technically she wasn't wrong!
Wanda: Amongst other things, we are lost
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drdoomentia · 5 months
Banner: listen, hulk feels conflicted about training with you.
Y/n: what’s the matter hulk? Sounds to me like you are scared.
Hulk: Hulk is over his conflicted feelings.
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that-bitch-kat3 · 18 days
james: i want to make my parents proud of me
sirius: i want to make my parents shake their heads disappointedly and ask ‘where did i go wrong’
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raiisakitsune · 3 months
Bucky: *dies*
Steve: you know i never liked being alive anyway, *crashes plane*
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trikruismybitch · 3 months
*During Avengers*
Natasha *sees Y/n surrounded by aliens*: You sure you're good?
Y/n *being badass* : Hey where i grew up everything wanted to kill me.
Y/n kills an alien: *winks at nat* i think ill be fine
*Nat lowkey swoons*
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midnightsinamiens · 2 months
rhodey, after finding out about peter: are you sure you can look after him? you can barely look after yourself. i mean have you seen how much coffee you drink?
tony, not listening to a single word because peter just sent him a photo of him with a cat he saved on patrol: oh my god i must protect this sweet child with my life. friday remove me as your top priority, the kid comes first, no one hurts him, happy's his bodyguard now, the suit is his, he comes first
rhodey: i take it back, the kid'll be fine
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capryuk · 8 months
{in a meeting}
Y/N: *Gently taps table*
Pietro: *Taps back*
Natasha: What are they doing?
Wanda: Morse code.
Y/N: *Aggressively taps table*
Pietro: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-
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rubychocolatechips · 3 months
Tony: We call that a traumatic experience.
Tony, turning to Peter: Not a "bruh moment".
Tony, turning to Kate: Not "sadge".
Tony, turning to Y/n: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".
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mamaspidershit · 1 day
Clint: Hey, you’re back late, I was starting to get worried. How was your shift?
Natasha: Exhausting…. How do you feel about spontaneous adoptions?
Clint: ….This is going to be a long night, isn’t it?
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underoooos · 3 months
May : So you're like the therapist for the whole team?
Peter : Mmm kinda
May : Who's your therapist then?
Peter, holding up a small pebble : Well I talk to this rock sometimes
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1luna1lovegood1 · 4 months
Peter: *sneaking into his room wearing spidersuit at 5 am*
May, sitting on peter's desk: excuse me whERE WERE YOU?
Peter: I was working with Mr Stark!
Tony, turning on the light: Try again.
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auroraromaximoff · 2 months
Y/n: My girlfriends don't love me anymore...
Natasha: That's not what we said!
Y/n: Then what did you say?!
Natasha: We said you can't always be in the middle! It's been 5 nights now!
Wanda: I want my turn! You keep skipping me ! 🥺
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drdoomentia · 2 months
Wanda: pleaseeeeee, it would look so cute on you
Y/n: Wanda, I am a demon, I have four arms, my body is covered in tattoos and markings, and my mouth is filled with sharp teeth, there is no cute in this equation.
Wanda: it would make me happy
*30 minutes later*
Y/n: the zipper won’t zip and I had to create new arm holes, but I think I managed *walks out in a size too small stitch onsie*
Wanda: I- thank you honey *lets out a small giggle and takes a photo*
Y/n: NO! There mustn’t be evidence!
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