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#i want to see him sing his heart out to mc!!!
misc-obeyme · 2 days
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for the drabble thing kinda 👉👈 (mostly be rambling per usual but could be an idea). I've been listening to music non stop at work and favorite record by fall out boy came on today
and there's a lyric that goes "and I confessed, confessed to you riding shotgun, underneath purple skies" and it screams mammon and mc to me. ALSO the rest of the song makes it sound like past tense/lost love/one that got away...angst potential too. Like reminiscing? Mc moved on but he never did.
I just like thinking about different ways he may confess, and if he'd just blurt it out without thinking? Or maybe he's hyped himself up, he's driving mc up to a hilltop to stargaze, he's got it all planned - and something mc does just makes him blurt it out
if it was something silly like turning on the A/C before he could finish asking them to, because MC just knows him that well, that would be hilarious
Mammon: hey uh, can you-
mc, already turning the dial: i got you
Mammon: i am in love with you.
- ✨ anon
also, partially related but Flu Game by the same band reminds me so much of nightbringer!mc and I could go on forever about it
Yes this feels very Mammon to me... blurting it out before he means to lol! I do like the angst of MC moving on, but he never did, too! That's some good potential right there.
BUT I did a drabble based on the rest of the idea, that he's taking MC to a hilltop to confess but doesn't quite make it lol.
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Mammon knows he has to tell you. It's been stewing inside him for a while, brought to his attention every time you meet his eyes, every time you say his name, every time you touch him or hug him or do something before he even asks. He's nervous to say it, but he won't risk losing you because he was too afraid.
He has it all planned out. What better way than to take you for a drive? Up onto the highest hilltop in the Devildom. Thinking about it makes his pulse race. He's on high alert all day, not able to focus on anything except the moment when those words pass his lips.
Mammon rehearses what he'll say. He thought about getting poetic, but in the end he decides it's better to just be straightforward. To be honest, to be true, to tell you exactly what he needs you to know, so there is no possibility of miscommunication. He chants it in his head all day. I'm in love with you, I'm in love with you, I'm in love with you.
You settle into the passenger seat of his Demonio like you belong there, riding shotgun beside him. He wants to say it right then, before he's even started the car.
I'm in love with you.
Mammon holds it in as you click in your seat belt and smile at him before turning on the music. It's a playlist you made together of all the songs you both love most. As you start singing along to the chorus, he wants to say it again.
I'm in love with you.
Mammon's eyes are on the road, but you are all encompassing. Despite this, he doesn't let his attention wander from the task of driving. He cares too much about you to be reckless.
He hasn't said much because he doesn't trust himself to speak. The road gets tricky as he starts up the winding cliff side to get to the highest hilltop. He can't look away from it, but he's sweating. He wipes quickly at his forehead.
"Hey, MC, can ya-"
"I got you," you say, already turning the dial.
His heart skips. And the words he's been repeating in his mind all day come bursting out. "I'm in love with you."
For a moment, the only sound is a soft song that has begun to play. Mammon's mind is buzzing, full of static at the shock of what he's just done, what he's said. He didn't even make it up to the hilltop.
"Er- I mean-" he starts to say, but it's too late.
He sees you reaching toward him in his periphery. He takes your outstretched hand without even thinking about it.
"I love you, too," you say, simply.
Mammon holds your hand like it's the only thing keeping him alive as he finally makes it to his destination. He stops the car and turns to you, taking in the way your eyes are shining brighter than all the stars and city lights streaming in through the windshield. He leans over to kiss you and the current between you is like lightning, brighter and more intense than any other light could hope to be. Wild, unpredictable, full of passion - just like him.
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masterlist | Thank you for reading!
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yukiire · 5 months
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the hell marine festival event and power couple card still have my heart, shoulder and neck
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jamil-s-wifey · 9 months
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Headcanon request of how the dorm leaders (with kalim replaced w/ jamil if possible) would react to their crush accidentally taking a love potion and acting extra affectionate to them?
Oh I love this so much! There are a few hcs out there about similar situations and they're ALWAYS my favourite to read! I'm so glad I finally got to write some on my own! I hope you enjoy!!!
Warning: slightly suggestive at times.
P.s. the love potion doubles as a truth potion. You'll see what I mean! I've left off on a somewhat open ending, so do tell if you'd like a p2!
Of course you were going to be partners with Ace of all people in Potions. The almost apologetic look, which professor Crewel sent you wasn't really helping you feel any less like a martyr. Any less... patronised. But what were you to do, rather than accept your fate gracefully and see where that takes you.
The potion, which was to be made was a truth potion. It was simple, really. Few ingredients, fewer steps. And it looked exactly like in the picture, only a little less orange and a little more pink. But that was normal, right?
Only it wasn't a truth potion. And Ace decided to put it in a water bottle. The same water bottle as yours. Why? To hide the fact that it was slightly pinker, than orange. Did Crewel buy it? No. But you? You did. One misplaced bottle, an unsuspecting MC and a series of unfortunate events.
When did your juice taste so unbelievably sweet?
"Oh no..."
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Riddle was perfectly unsuspecting, going about his day, preparing for an unbirthday party, when he saw Ace practically dragging you to him. The moment you laid eyes on Riddle, a dopey smile appeared on your face.
He is confused ™️. You slipped Ace's grip and threw yourself on him, wrapping your arms around his neck, practically hanging off him. "Riddle, the love of my life, I missed you so much, my heart can't beat when you're not around me."
Riddle's face turned 50 shades of red at that exact moment. He turned to Ace for an explanation, feeling embarrassment stir in his heart. And why did you sound like Rook?!
"LOVE POTION. WILL WEAR OUT, BYE " Aaaaand he was gone. Riddle was about to yell after him, when you grabbed his face, looking deep into his eyes. "Riddle, you're so pretty today."
His heart skipped a beat. In fact, it skipped a few too many beats. "Prefect, please. You're under the influence of a potion." He cleared his throat, trying to calm himself.
"But the potion only shows my true feelings for you! I've always loved you!" You smiled at him, running your fingers through his hair.
"T-then... Let's speak about this after the potion wears off, okay?" He asked, reluctantly patting you on the shoulder. (Smooth. V smooth.) "Fine, but only if you stay with me. I want to spend time with you!"
"I will. Until you recover and then some."
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He could hear your footsteps, approaching his napping spot in the botanical gardens, so he already knew you were coming before you called out to him. "Leona!" And there it was, your sing-song voice, much cheerier than usual.
He lazily opened one eye as to acknowledge your existence. He expected you to sit down and tell him of whatever wacky shenanigans you'd got into. What he didn't expect was for you to climb into his lap, smothering him in a hug. Was he flustered? Yes. Was he about to show it? Hell no.
"Damn, what has gotten into you today, herbivore? You're unusually... annoying."
No. No, do not give him the puppy eyes, he can't take it. Oh god. "I just wanted to come see you! Mmm, you smell so good." You whispered, shoving your face into the crook of his neck. The whole position you two were in was quite...the sight. A growl escaped him, before he pushed you back, to look you in the eyes. Were your pupils... Hearts?!
"What the fuck has happened to you? Did you ingest something you shouldn't?" Now that he thought about it, your breath did smell sweeter, no, all of you smelled sweeter. He was perceptive, terrifyingly so. In fact he was pretty sure a love potion was responsible for your actions. You seemed drunk (off of him).
"Fuck, get off, we gotta go to the infirmary, or better yet - to Crewel, to brew an antidote.
"But- maybe I like being like this. At least I'm bold enough to show you how much I love you like this!"
....wait what?
He was about to have a very long chat with you once all of this was resolved.
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Azul was finishing up the preparation for a new FRESH BATCH of contracts, when a knock on the door interrupted him. In came Jade, followed by you - a very giddy-looking you.
"My apologies, they insisted they had to see you." With those words, Jade left the vicinity, knowing fully well what was about to go down (because of course the fucker knew you weren't being fully yourself. He was also acutely aware of Azul's growing infatuation with you.)
"Azul, I come with a proposition. Let's form a relationship contract, where we both get all benefits of being a couple!" You moved behind his desk, grabbing his hand. "It's a limited time offer. Sealed with a kiss!"
Azul was: Flustered. Flabbergasted. Bamboozled. Floored. Gone. Out of the stratosphere. He was torn between running away to his octopot and smootly answering by presenting a contract, ready-made for the occasion. (Which he totally had.)
"M-MC. This is rather sudden of you-" he started, fixing his glasses. "I did not expect...such a proposition." Not that he would complain.
You moved closer to him, wrapping your other arm around his neck. "Well, what do you say? Do we have a deal?" Those eyes of yours were piercing through his very heart, unnaturally so... Suspiciously unnaturally.
"MC, if you may, could you perhaps wait until I've... finished writing down the logistics of such a contract?"
Your smile widened and he swore he felt Cupid's arrow pierce through him. "Of course, for you I'd wait a lifetime, my handsome octopus~"
You were never THIS bold with him. He had to investigate further.
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Jamil had just finished basketball practice, when he bumped into you. Or more so, you bumped into him. Immediately, you threw your arms around his neck, bringing him down to leave a kiss on his cheek. "Hey, Jamil~ Fancy seeing you here."
What in the Sevens' name-
He felt blood rush to his face at an alarming rate. Looking away, he pushed you back to create some distance between you two. "What has gotten into you?!" He asked, exasperated, still keeping you at arm's length. He was NOT prepared for his crush doing that out of nowhere.
"I'm just greeting you, silly! I passed by the gym, figured I'd say hi~"
"Okay. Hi. What do you want? You can't just...go around doing that." He did not have time to deal with whatever this is, he figured it was most probably a prank of some kind.
"What makes you think I go around kissing people. I only want to kiss you!" You smiled at him so lovingly, he could barely keep his knees from buckling. This was quickly becoming very overwhelming for him.
"Where is...all of this coming from, exactly? Are you fever-striken or something?" He lay a hand on your forehead, y'know, just checking.
"It's not a fever, Jamil. I'm just reaaaaally into you!"
"Stop joking around about this."
"I'm serious!" You grabbed his hand, laying it over your heart. His eyes narrowed. It's not like he didn't believe you, but this was far too sudden and you seemed far too..out of it of sorts. His sixth sense was screaming at him. He considered cornering Ace after taking you home. He already seemed pretty fidgety during practice.
"Okay. Look. Let's talk about this over coffee tomorrow, alright? My treat."
"Oooh, so a date, then?"
"Yes... a date. Now let me walk you back to Ramshackle."
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The moment you saw Ace's horrified expression, you knew there was only one person you could turn to - Vil. He could surely help brew an antidote. As fast as possible you made your way to Pomefiore, worried about what the potion might do to you. However, the moment you laid eyes on him, you felt your own emotions overwhelm you.
"Vil!"
He was in the lounge, scolding conversing with Epel. The moment your eyes met, the most lovestruck of smiles crawled on your face. "Ah, I'm so happy to see you. I missed you greatly!" You walked over to him, a slight skip in your step. Vil merely raised an eyebrow.
"What are you doing here, potato? Unannounced, and you look like you've run here." He dismissed Epel, mumbling how he'll 'deal with him later', instead turning his attention fully to you.
"I came to ask for help, I accidentally ingested a potion. But now that I'm here-" you moved to link your arm with his. "I could maybe spend some time with you? We haven't seen each other in nearly a week, handsome." You winked at him.
"Potato, as much as I enjoy spending time with you, you can't ju- wait. What potion???" He grabed you by the shoulders. "How did it happen?!"
You smiled at him, reaching out to gently grasp a strand of his hair and twirl it. "It was supposed to be a truth potion, but something went wrong. Ace put it in a water bottle and I drank it. But I feel perfectly fine, especially now that I'm here. Ah, somehow I never get the chance to tell you how much you truly mean to me. And I mean it romantically."
He nearly lost his cool. Hiding his frazzled state behind a dainty cough, clearly fake, not that there was anybody around to call him out, a deep sigh escaped his lips. "You probably added too much chicory root and turned it into a love potion."
You frowned. "But my feelings are very real. I could just never tell you before. Do you.. not return them?"
"Pota- MC, let me brew you an antidote, and then I'll give you my answer, okay?"
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You had texted him, saying you urgently needed to go see him. And you even had texted your code word for "fucking emergency, drop what you're doing right now". Yes, the word was "capybara". Much unlike his usual self, he quickly exited the game he was playing, after all - you only used that word once before, and he really didn't want to ponder on THAT time.
Just as he was about to text you back, a hurried knock on his door startled him.
"MC?" He questioned, looking around to make sure his room was at least somewhat decent looking. You'd hung out with him countless times before, but he wanted to double-check anyways.
"Yes! I'm coming in!" And there you stood, worry instantly leaving your features the moment you spotted him. "Ah, Idia. I'm so lucky to have you.~" before he could react, you made a few steps forward and threw yourself on him, hugging him.
Now, Idia has never been one to appreciate any kind of contact, especially physical. But having his crush hug him. Nah. His internal graphics card isn't strong enough to withstand such situations. He felt himself nearly overheat at the feeling of your body against his. The tiniest of yelps escaped him - the clearest of signs that his body was going into overdrive.
"Idia, something really bad happened and I fear it might affect me. I should stay indoors until it wears off, can we just stay here and cuddle?"
CUDDLE?! C U D D L E?! D-DID HE HEAR YOU RIGHT?! His knees buckled and the two of you fell to the floor. "W-wha-" he couldn't even form his sentence. And it became even worse, once you nestled into his arms, making yourself more comfortable. "I've been waiting for a long time to do this~" you murmured, a satisfied smile on your lips.
He gathered all of the strength in his body, mind and soul, to ask you. "W-what bad thing happened?"
"I drank a potion in class. I don't know what will happen to me and when it will wear off." You mumbled, fingers tracing over his chest. "But I feel safe now. So it's okay."
What kind of potion? He focused all of his attention to the information given to him. He had to know, insecurities and anxiety be damned, you used *the code word* after all.
Somehow, he hoped his suspicions were incorrect.
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Malleus was walking near Ramshackle, waiting patiently for your arrival, as the two of you'd scheduled an afternoon walk. Naturally, he saw you approach from a mile away, but the worried look on your face, alarmed him . What alarmed him even more was the faint magical residue, emanating off of you. You were supposed to be magicless, right? Did somebody try to attack you?
As you reached him, you immediately buried your face in his chest, hugging him tightly. He returned the hug, gently running his fingers through your hair. You two were already close enough to have some form skinship, but somehow you were never this forward.
"Tsunotarou", you mumbled, looking up at him. "I'm sorry I'm late." "Nonsense, Child of man. I reckon you're just on time. Is this what has you so troubled?"
"Not really, we had an accident in potions class." Before you could further elaborate, you reached out, cupping his cheek. "But it's okay. This is the most free I've ever felt. As if I'm soaring through the sky, and for once I'm not overthinking my every move. And it's all because of you." You stroked his cheek gently. "Have I ever told you how much I like you?"
His eyes grew wide open at the carefree admission. He was one split second decision away from kissing you breathless right then and there, but somehow he knew something was very wrong. "My, how bold of you, my dear." His surprise soon turned to sorrow, as he pieced together the situation. "It appears that accident may have involved a love potion."
"It was supposed to be a truth potion." You corrected with a small giggle.
"Alas, those two are easy to mix. I appreciate the boldness, I truly do, my dear. However, seeing as you're under the influence of such a potion, I cannot respond in any way."
A bitter smile graced his lips as he patted you on the head. "Let us bring you to Professor Crewel, to brew an antidote. In the meantime, you can tell me which insolent soul is responsible for this."
You pouted at him. "Crewel said it will wear off on its own. And once it does, I will come and confess to you again, to show you how real my feelings are."
That made him smile a bit, as his heart nearly leaped out of his chest. Some may call it false hope. He calls it dedication.
"Then I shall await that moment most ardently, my dear."
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strawberry-cowmilk · 7 months
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the brothers when they find mc awake late at night
-> you can't sleep and the brothers find you at 2am
my sleep pattern has been horrible lately (may or may not be due to the smart choice of drinking double espressos at 10pm) so I came up with this idea :))
mc's gender is not mentioned, not proof read
content warnings: (implied) difficulty to sleep, casino mention, maybe a little based on my actions because it's implied mc is awake because of caffeine in some parts
-----
Lucifer
he leaves his office and finds you sitting on the living room couch while everyone should be asleep
hons lectures you a bit as if he didn't sleep an average of 5 minutes every day these past few weeks
it's all because he's concerned though (and he might ban you from the coffee maker after 4pm as if he doesn't drink a cup every hour)
lucifer is weak for you if you'd ask him to sing to you or hold you so you can sleep, he'd do it
Mammon
mammon just came back from sneaking off to the casino and his heart dropped when he heard a noise (he thought it was lucifer but it was just you)
he's like why are you awake and you are thinking the same thing so you two are like that spider man meme where they point at each other
anyways after mammon got a chance to take off his shoes and jacket he offers to go to bed with you but 'only because it would help you, not because he wants to be close'
Leviathan
his average bed time is like 4am and he feels fine so he doesn't make a big deal out of spotting you awake late at night one time
if you want you can come play games with him in his room until you feel tired enough to fall asleep, he recently got this new multiplayer one too
if you don't feel sleepy after a few hours levi will think it's time to sleep anyways, there's rad tomorrow and you have to wake up before beel eats all the breakfast
Satan
satan's average bed time is pretty late too, though not as late as levi's
he actually found you in the kitchen right before he was going to sleep, he was about to brush his teeth and you were just scrolling through devilgram at 2am on a tuesday morning
can't sleep? he offers to let you read one of his books, because they make him fall asleep easier so it might work for you too
if you ask nicely satan might read the book to you and even cuddle you
Asmodeus
he has the least terrible sleep pattern out of all the brothers but this night he had some event to attend, which made him arrive home very late, he just wants to sleep asap now
asmo had a whole heart attack when he saw you on the couch near the entrance, he instantly tried to convince you to go to sleep
like you can do your nighttime routine with him and then he'll hug you until you fall asleep if you'd like
Beelzebub
he was just heading to the kitchen for a snack but you were already there enjoying leftovers from dinner
beel is actually happy you're there, you two can share food and talk, but what are you doing awake at 2am? he's a little worried honestly
after you're done with your snack, beel offers to help you fall asleep if you'd like
you can sleep in his room with him (and belphie too but that man has been sleeping since 5 hours ago)
Belphegor
he actually doesn't find you at 2am because he's already sleeping and won't wake up until maybe 11am
he finds out you were awake because you told him you slept like 5 hours last night
if you told him why, he'll side eye you every time he catches you with anything that has caffeine in it when it's not the morning
anyways he likes you enough to tolerate you waking him up next time you have trouble sleeping, he'll gladly help you fall asleep and see a nice dream
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valsdelulucorner · 6 days
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Belphie head cannons <3
Belphie is a very cuddly person with the right people. With Beel and you, he can easily just lean against you and fall asleep. With Lucifer however, he would rather wake up and be productive then lay against him.
I feel like belphie likes to do things with his hands like knitting and crocheting. Since he got locked in the attic, there wasn't anything interesting in there for him to do so he decided to teach himself knitting. He can now knit without looking so if he feels sleepy or is watching a movie with the others, he might just subconsciously start knitting.
If MC comes down as a singer, Belphie will probably love laying on your lap while you sing to him and play with his hair. He mostly loves listening to sing songs like "rises the moon" or "I don't want to set the world on fire" while he cuddles into your lap. He loves listening to you belt out songs like "my heart will go on" aswell but he prefers the softer songs he can fall asleep to
Will just fall limp against you randomly if he wants you to stay with him, if he wants you to carry him or if he's jealous. Your trying to leave bed to get ready? He's limp on top of you so you either have to stay in bed for the day of have one of his brothers remove him. He sees you talking with some other lowlife demon? Suddenly your holding him up and focusing on him now, not that scum you were talking to. He gets tired walking around and Beel isn't around? He's now nuzzling into your neck while you give him a piggyback ride, his tail wrapped around you both to make sure he doesn't fall off
Now I hate the fact that we just forgave belphie so easily after he literally killed us then tried to kill us again. Imagine MC was actually really weary around belphie for a few weeks/months after the incident and it was just eating belphie up inside seeing how scared we were of him
He kept trying to prove to MC that he got better and he wouldn't hurt them but sometimes it came off as to much and mammon stood in-between you both and took you away. It was only until he caught you in the observatory and decided to have a long conversation with you about everything. You saw how genuine he was in his apology so you guys made up and went on as friends
100% would share you with Beel. Cuddle piles, food runs, movie marathons, classes, he wouldn't mind Beel being there but he does like having one on one time with you without beel there
Your the only one he doesn't mind waking him up. He has and will again cuss out his brothers for waking him up (cough Lucifer cough). He might get annoyed initially but when he realizes its you, he will calm down and reach for you
He butts his head into you often, like how cats show their affection. He does it often while cuddling you, if you both are just laying in bed and talking about anything, he will gently butt his head into your jaw, side or neck and just act like nothing happened
Belphie does love cuddling you, that's pretty obvious but he also loves doing other things with you. He absolutely adores it when you listen to him nerd about the constellations and planets in devildom, gently holding your hand as he points to which one is which. He does love going on walks with you and stopping at shops that have crystals and little trinkets, buying matching things with you
Crystal and zodiac girly, need I say more
If you have scars from when he killed you, it breaks his heart every time he sees them once you guys start dating. While cuddling or even just sitting together, he will gently trace star protection spells over them, making sure they don't hurt or open up again
He finds it funny when your focused on something then he randomly brushes his fluffy tail across your face. Your annoyed and surprised face is just the cutest thing. If you go back to working, he will just curl up on your lap and wrap his tail around you, nuzzling his face into your neck while his tail keeps you close to him, making sure your safe in his embrace
Because he used to be infatuated with humans in his younger years, he likes to admire the way you age or the way you experience things differently to them. Your tastebuds, your hands, your skin, your hair, your eyes, everything is different to him but he loves that about you
He like to trace little spells into your skin when you both are cuddling in bed, he wants to make sure his starlight has the best of dreams while being held by him. After he makes sure all of his protection spells are in place, he will wrap his tail around you and let you spoon him, feeling safe in your arms
"will i see you in my dreams my dear?" "of course, my love"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This was suggested by @cuddlybelphie, Thank you so much for the suggestion! This was such a fun write
Who should i do next?
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auteurdelabre · 5 months
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Something to Fight For (Series) Part 18 Joel Miller x f!Reader
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Rating: 18+ THIS CHAPTER'S TRIGGER WARNINGS: Emotional Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Drug Addiction, Mentions of Death A/N: I rewrote this fucking chapter about 8 times. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. It was a real hard one to write, ya'll. A lot of my own shit is mixed up in there with the story. MC is part me after all (and part all of you). So it was hard. Harder than I think I expected it to be. So I dunno how it ended up. Couldn't re-read it too much. I really need your reviews on this one folks. It's real important to me, 'specially now. I need to know how you feel, the good and the bad. I gotta get this right.
Story Masterlist HERE
You're overcome. 
There's no other word for it. You've been sobbing in your shower for the last hour. After running from the barn, taking a taxi home and bursting into your suite you immediately fell to your knees, the warm water pelting down onto your back. 
It's as close to being held, at being soothed that you can manage right now. 
You can’t stop replaying tonight’s events. The song Joel chose. The one of longing and deep yearning. 
"She may be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough and ready years"
But also of a love gone by. A regret.
"She may be the face I can't forget
A trace of pleasure or regret"
Is that how he views you? A love gone by?
Of course he does.
Paul's engagement ring is in the velvet box it came in. It's being returned tomorrow. You'd have done it tonight if it weren't so late. 
You need to end things. It's the only way forward. No matter what, no matter if Joel is in love with Tess, no matter if you'll never be with him, you *can't be with Paul. 
You don't love Paul. It's obvious to everyone including yourself. It's been obvious for so long. You've wasted so much fucking time and energy on him. 
You think of all the boxes packed here, the ones you were going to move to Leander. You think of how strange and sad it is that your whole life can be put into less than twenty cardboard boxes. 
And even though Joel can't be yours and even though that hurts more than words can begin to say, you are so fucking grateful for him. You are so grateful you met Joel Miller because he's shown you what love is. True, caring love. 
Even if it's not yours to keep. 
You will never forget the way he looked singing tonight. The goodbye song from his heart to yours. You'd felt it. The bittersweet finality of your time. 
More tears are coming. 
"I love him," you say to the tile in front of you. You need to hear the words spoken out loud in the universe, even if it's hidden in the fall of the shower and heard only by you. "I love Joel."
You need to see Joel. You need him to hold you. Need his calming presence. You need to wrap your arms around him and press your face into his neck and just feel breathe that sweet, spicy scent of home.
He's not yours.
You don't get to see Joel. You don't get to have him. He's Tess'. You can't be his friend, you want him too much. So what does that leave? 
That leaves you replaced and alone. 
You pull yourself from the shower, shivering as you towel off, drying your hair the best you can. You go to your dresser and pull out one of the few remaining pieces of clothing there. 
Joel's shirt. 
You've washed it so it doesn't smell like him anymore. Doesn't smell like the laundry detergent he uses or that wood shavings scent he sometimes carries. But when you put it on it feels like he's there in some small way. You pull it on over your sleep shorts hiccupping a soft cry. 
You remember so long ago, standing in Joel’s den as you pondered if he just played guitar or if he sang as well.
“S’weird how something can make you feel so good and then outta nowhere become the pain”
That’s how it feels now. Joel, the thing that makes you feel good has also become the pain. The wedding is tomorrow. You need to collect yourself by then. You'll see Joel and you need to be controlled. You need to be okay. You need to not ruin this for him. 
Because you do love Joel. You love him in a way you never expected to love or be loved. You love him so much that you are determined to make his life better. Determined that you will not take away what he has carved out for himself. 
You crawl under the covers, your face buried in the pillow. 
"I l-love Joel," you whisper it again into the pillow only now it's broken by sobs. You curl up under the covers, your body trembling. "I love him I love him." 
You feel lost. So hopelessly lost. 
And then the phone rings. 
///
It's late in the Miller house. Quiet. Sarah's been asleep for hours thanks to the sugar crash Bill's cupcakes provided. 
Tommy's asleep in the basement apartment, exhausted from the evenings festivities and anticipating a long day tomorrow. 
Or, as Joel glances over at the bright neon numbers of his digital clock, later today. 
He's laying in bed, one arm behind his head, one hand over his sternum as he stares at the ceiling. In this pose he feels every breath in, every breath out. The studying rhythm bringing him peace. It's impossible to shake the image of you free from his mind. 
He'd done it out of love for you. Out of a need for you to know how much you'd changed him. Changed his heart, his outlook, even his fucking idea on the concept of romantic love. 
But the look on your face? The way it had fallen before you had dashed out? 
Sarah had been bouncing up and down in her seat when he finished his performance, hugging him tightly and throwing things at him as he tried to contain his disappointment ("Daddy you sing so pretty!" And "Daddy will you teach me guitar?")  Everyone was clapping him on the back, telling him it was wonderful, so romantic, that Tommy and Maria loved it.
He refused to let his eyes search for you, knowing you were gone. He refused to let his heart believe that you'd come back. 
Joel knows he has to stay away from you.
Knows that singing tonight was a terrible idea because not only did he make it so obvious to everyone that he’s so deeply in love with you, but he also made you cry.
Watching your face crumple, watching the way your eyes fell to the ground at the last string. He’d thought you’d be happy singing, Maria had said how often you’d felt happy when you did. But that wasn’t happiness he saw tonight. It was pain.
Joel doesn’t know what to do. He feels so lost.
And then the phone rings.
///
"Joel, I need you."
Four little words over the phone at 2 am.  
Four little words that have Joel stumbling out of bed, murmuring he'll be there before he's pulling on his jeans and a t-shirt.
He's half asleep, his mind whirring. He goes to the basement, rapping on the door. An equally tired Tommy answers, blinking in the light. 
"She- I gotta go," Joel tries to explain in a rush. "I'll explain later. Can you come watch Sarah?"
Tommy gives a few bleary eyed blinks before nodding and following his brother up the steps. 
Tommy settles himself on the sofa as Joel runs out the door. And all the younger Miller can think before he falls asleep is:
Finally.
///
Joel's shoulders nearly take up the doorframe. You notice this when the rap of his knuckles pulls you sniffling from the sofa and you open the door to him. 
His eyes are sleepy, but wide. His hair is tousled from sleep and you can see the indent of his pillow faint in his left cheek. He scans your face, concerned.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm so sorry," you say as soon as Joel takes a step towards you. "I never should have called so late. I’m so so sorry, Joel." 
"Just let me in," Joel insists, his hand coming to go to your cheek and then dropping. He doesn’t want to overstep. "Tell me what happened."
You try to make the words come out; you force them crackling and trembling out into the world. 
"I don't want... I don't want to go back." 
Joel doesn't have any context, but that doesn't stop him from rushing in. He closes the door behind him gently before bringing you into his arms. Your forehead drops against his sternum as he does this, your tears warm and free flowing.
As he rubs a soothing hand along your spine he realizes you're wearing his t-shirt again. For some reason this small thing makes Joel's eyes wet. 
You're so warm in his arms, trembling against him as you hold in sobs. He wants to kiss away the tears rolling down your cheeks. He wants to carry you to bed and strip every bad memory and experience from you with his mouth and body.  
That's not what she needs right now. She needs a friend.
He takes your hand in his, leading you to the sofa. A place where you can talk. The fireplace is on, bathing you in a warm flickering glow that makes his breathing hitch when he glances over at you.  
Your eyes are puffy, your nose red and he thinks you might be the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. 
He can't help himself but reach for you, bringing you to his lap as he sits. There's nothing sexual about it, just the need to hold you close, to make you feel safe there. Your arms wrap around his neck and he rocks you, his arms banding around your waist. 
"Honey," Joel whispers into the crook of your neck. "What's wrong?" 
Honey.
You melt into him just as easily as the word. This was a terrible idea. What had you been thinking? How could you ask Joel here? 
Because of the song, your traitorous heart cries. Because you love him! Because his face is the first one you want to see!
You hold him tightly to you, unable to break from him just yet. Unable to tell him the awful ugliness. Instead your mind drifts to the rehearsal dinner. Your hand plays with the fabric of Joel's shirt, twisting it under your fingers. 
"Joel . . . The song."
Immediately he tenses and you can't see his face, but you can imagine it. Eyes nervous, mouth hooked slightly to the side. The same way he’d held his face that night in his den, your hand around a glass of soda.
"Maybe one day we'll have reason to make music again.”
Joel smiles softly around his glass. "Maybe."
"Did you like it?" he murmurs into your hair. You can't help but hold him tighter, your eyes filling. He sounds so unsure of himself, so worried about what you’ll say.
"Yeah, I loved it. It was beautiful."
You feel him physically relax in your arms at this admission. The tension, the uncertainty is drained from him. You force yourself not to tilt your face to his, not to search for his mouth with yours. 
"I thought you didn't play anymore,” you tell his shoulder.  
"I don't. One time performance I guess. Shoulda charged for tickets." 
There, the humor you both needed to break the intense spell that weaves itself when you're in Joel's arms. You're thankful to him for that. Now you can pull back, still seated in his lap, but in control of yourself. 
"I hope you keep playing forever."
Joel smiles wistfully at you, nodding.  You let his dark eyes search your face. You let his hand cup your cheek, his wide thumb brushing away the tears there.
"I never told you about why I went back to Chicago," you sniffle. "Why I didn't call."
"You don't have to tell me," Joel insists. "It doesn't change why I'm here. I'll stay here all night just holdin' you if it's what you need." 
He doesn't want to push you, doesn't want you upset because of him. This time in Chicago, the separation, it feels like an ugly part of your shared history that he just wants you both to forget. 
"No, I want to tell you," you say in a sorrowful voice. "You deserve to know everything."
Joel nods and he wants to keep you there in his lap. But you shuffle back from him, sitting across from him on the sofa. It takes several minutes of staring into the flames of the fire before you feel you can begin. 
"My dad has been in and outta the hospital a lot," you explain, looking at your hands in your lap. "It's because he's waiting for a liver transplant."
Joel is shocked. The way you spoke of Chicago, of your family, he'd assumed your father was dead. 
"The thing is," you continue, unaware of his shock. "He can't get one unless he stops using and, uh, he won't." 
"Using?" Joel is still taken aback by the revelation, not thinking clearly. 
"Coke and heroin mostly," you say with a wince. "He's a drug addict."
Your father has been a junkie for most of your life.
And it's in part because you exist. 
The same year you were born he'd gone to a party without your mom. She was tired, still breastfeeding you and encouraged him to go out and have some fun. 
He did. 
The kind of fun that had started as a party drug passed around and ended with him burning through the family savings and growing gaunt in the coming years. The kind of fun that had him doing eight balls during your soccer games and shooting up on your graduation day. 
You were four when he first went into rehab at the insistence of your mother. A few weeks before your fifth birthday he'd come home sober and ready to change his life back around. You hadn't really understood what was happening. You'd just been so happy to be a family again.
That photo on your desk, the one the flood destroyed, the one that meant so much to you is from the only birthday party of yours that your father ever attended sober. 
In the passing years he turned to drugs again but he hid it well from you and your mother. You never knew the severity of it until you turned fifteen.  
Until you came home one day from your part time job at the Chicago humane shelter to find him covered in piss and his own vomit and barely responsive. 
He died on his way to the hospital, a full forty two seconds he was clinically dead. Until they revived him and he sputtered back to life. You remember all of this because it was you in the ambulance with him. 
Your mother was at work, unreachable. Your dad's sporadic unemployment meant she worked two jobs. 
So it was a fifteen year old you with tears running down her cheeks that watched this unfold, completely terrified. 
You were sixteen when he got out of rehab for the second time and promised his life was changed forever. He and your mother had almost two years of no fighting - a change of pace for you who had grown up to their constant shouting matches. 
You were eighteen when he relapsed at a friend's house party. Twenty two and twenty five when he went back to the various rehabs that your mother always paid for in more ways than one.  
And then he just stopped trying in the coming years. Still using, but not enough for your sweet mother to kick him out. 
It's like he's infected by some insidious being inside him. A forever hungry thing that takes and takes, warping your once sweet father into something subhuman. A being that is frighteningly underweight, hollowing his cheeks and making his eyes bulbous in his face. He isn't your father anymore, not really. 
But he is. That's the worst part.
Because if he wasn't your Dad you could hate him.
You tell Joel all of this, it spills from you like a stream and he sits across from you, nodding and never speaking. When your voice hitches or the tears begin fresh he instinctively moves towards you on the sofa, stopped only by your raised palm. You need to get all of this out and if he holds you, you never will. 
"That night you left, like, two hours later my mom called me to tell me that my dad had a really bad seizure," You shake your head, wanting to stop the memory. "And she sounded so scared on the phone and I just had to get back. I had to get there, back home to help. I was on autopilot."
Joel recalls the hollow look in your eyes when he went to see you that day.
"I know you came to see me but I don't even remember it," you tell Joel. "All I could think of was that I fucked up, that I should have been there in Chicago with my mom." 
Joel is stiff, watching you without speaking. 
"And I got home and it was just as awful as I thought it would be." You start to shudder at the memory. "My dad could barely talk. And when he did all he wanted to do was blame me for leaving. Telling me I was selfish for leaving my mom and him. Telling me that without me around to help pay for things that there was more pressure on him and my mom to afford their place."
You break off only to hold in a sob, breathing deeply and continuing. 
"And he was right, you know. Coming to Austin for school was so selfish of me. I could've just as easily gone to school back in Chicago." A look of disgust crosses your features as you talk now to yourself. "So fucking selfish."
"No," Joel's voice is quiet but firm. "That's not true."
You're ignoring him though, so caught up in your own devastation. Your eyes are shut tightly and your head is giving short jerks. 
"I just run from everything, Joel. I ran from Chicago and I ran to Austin because I thought that if I kept running far away enough that, that his ugliness could never touch me. But it lives in me, Joel. That ugliness is in me forever." 
Joel's eyes have grown glassy, even now he remains sitting there looking at you with unending patience and his hands twitching to hold you. 
"I stayed there for a month,” you continue, not even aware that your head is tilted so low Joel has to lean forward to hear. “A month of my dad telling me I was selfish. A month of my mom trying to tell me that it's just his disease talking. A month of seeing your name come up on my phone and wanting so badly to talk to you but just thinking about how horrible I was and how you and Sarah deserved better."
You force yourself to breathe between sentences, your air hitching in your chest.  Joel is staring at you, his eyes swimming over your features. Horrible? You?
"So when I eventually got back to Austin I was just so fucking sad, Joel. So tired. I couldn't get out of bed. I didn't want to be around anyone. Not you, not Sarah. I couldn't do that to you guys." You swipe at your eyes with the wrist of your sweater. "I should have called you and seen you but I was so selfish only thinking about me and how I felt.
Your eyes jerk open when you feel the warmth of Joel's hand on yours. He's leaning across the sofa, his wide hand placed gently over yours. A thumb gently strokes your knuckles. 
"No," Joel breathes in a voice of gentle warmth. "Never selfish. Never. It was me that fucked up."
"No."
"Yes," Joel tells you and you can see the way his dark eyes are damp. "You are the least selfish person I've ever met."
"Oh yeah?" you challenge, your chin wobbling. "You know why I called you tonight? Because my mom just called to beg me to come home again. Apparently my dad's saying that if I move back to Chicago that he'll go to treatment again. That he'll stop using. That he'll be able to get the transplant."
Joel's eyes widen but he remains silent. 
"And I don't want to go," you say, lips trembling. "I don't want to go back there. I don't want to fucking go even if it would mean helping because I'm a horrible, selfish cunt."
The sobs that burst out of you are pure anguish that you muffle in a pillow to keep Maria from hearing all those floors above. Joel is physically holding himself back, dying to embrace you but giving you your space.
 All he can do is stroke your head, desperate to convey all of his care and affection for you through the gesture. 
"He was always promising he was going to get clean," you say hollowly, moving away from the pillow and Joel's touch. "And my mom, she just, she just kept carrying on like there was hope. But there is no hope. Just this endless, bleak, fucking pain."
Your eyes meet his and you're overcome. You stand abruptly, feeling the scrutiny of Joel as sharply as if he were stabbing you.
"Joel, just go. I'm sorry I called. This was a terrible idea to have you come here. This isn't your problem. I'm so fucking sorry."
Joel stands and for a moment you think he's going to leave. You think that might be a relief because you're feeling too vulnerable, too exposed. 
You aren't expecting Joel to quietly close the distance between your bodies and wordlessly pull you into his arms. You're shocked more however at how willingly you allow this, how easy it is to fall back into his embrace. To tangle your arms around his neck and hold him as tightly as you can. He's warm against you, his cheek resting on the top of your head as you press your face to his shoulder.
"I hate him. I hate what he put my mom and me through." Your chin is trembling as you blink back the onslaught of more tears. "And I hate that I love him so much because he's my fucking dad."
Your hands are gripping Joel around the middle as he holds you, his broad shoulders curling, his arms tightening.
"I hate that I just want him to die," you cry through clenched teeth. "To stop holding on. To bring my mother some fucking peace."
More tears come. 
Joel thinks of James and the cocaine and how upset you'd been. He'd thought you were justified in the way you'd acted, the heated punch across James slimy face for treating you so rudely. But now he realizes why you'd been shamed, so terrified of your own fury.
"And I hate that I'm just like him."
You break off as Joel's large hand is cupping the back of your head, and he's gently swaying you, the way a mother would a newborn. 
"It's okay," Joel murmurs in your hair. "I've got you. I've got you."
You don't know why, but this quiet utterance from him is that breaks you, and the wall against him that you've built so high for yourself collapses. Heavy sobs break free from you, stark mournful things that you muffle in Joel's shoulder. They make your body jerk, causing Joel to hold you tighter against him.
"Shhh," Joel soothes. "Just breathe, baby. Slowly, like me."
He takes a few steadying breaths, urging you to match the slow pace. After a few shuddering exhales you do so, your breathing staggering into a steady, even rhythm. 
"Good," Joel whispers. "Good."
"I'm just like him," you again whisper the words you've only ever thought into Joel's collar. "I'm selfish and horrible and -"
"You're nothing like that," Joel assures you, pulling you back so that he can look into your eyes when he tells you this. "Not at all."
"Really? What do you call what we did in your kitchen?" You scoff. "Knowing that we were with other people? Or how about when you pushed me up against that wall over there?"
Joel is silent, only his eyes move around your face while the rest of him is like a statue. He doesn't need to look at the wall to know what you're talking about. 
"I can't stop wanting you," you say with a look of torment in your eyes. "I can't fucking stop, Joel. I try and I try and I can't. I'm just like my dad. I want what I shouldn't. I want what's only going to hurt other people and hurt myself."
"Honey-"
"I can't stop," you repeat weakly, trying to step back from him. "So I have to stay away." 
Joel hands are on either side of your face again and he's peppering your face with soft kisses and everything in you wants to rejoice because Joel is here and he's holding you. 
"Don't stay away from me," Joel's tells you as he rains compassion down on you. "Never."
You can't keep him. He's not yours.
Both of you are being incredibly selfish right now. Tess is probably at home right now taking care of Sarah and Daniel. Tess who was made to be a mother. Tess who understands Joel. What is wrong with you? 
Selfish.
Horrible. 
"Stop, Joel," you say twisting from him, out of his grip. "I told you all of this so that you can understand why I won't be around as much. But I'll call Sarah every other night, if she still wants to speak to me. And when I come back for visits I'll take her to the movies and-"
It's like Joel is only just now noticing all the moving boxes. He's glancing around as you talk, his eyes widening.
"You're not actually thinking of moving back to Chicago," Joel interrupts in a horrified voice. "You can't be."
"Just for a few months, just until he's settled in rehab-"
"No," Joel is wild-eyed shaking his head, his eyebrows saddling. "You can’t. You just. . . You can’t do this. You can’t sacrifice everything. Your work - that sanctuary. You won’t come back. I know you, you’ll feel like you have to take care of your dad. You’ll stay there."
"It's complicated-"
"It's not." 
"Joel, my dad needs me."
"That was a horrible thing to lay on your shoulders," Joel says and he looks furious and sad all at once. "And I'm sorry for your parents, I really am, but no. You can't go. You can't do this to yourself."
"I have to go," you tell Joel. You falter, pulling back from him, needing to be out of his orbit. 
Joel stands there as you pull back from him, looking so out of place in your suite with its low ceilings, the space almost emptied of furniture. He’s like this beam you can’t look away from, this tall broad angel with eyes that look at you as if you’re actually worth something.
He breaks off, uttering a pained "Jesus Christ" and you're sure he's going to yell at you about Paul just like Maria did. 
You’re sure he’ll run from the room shouting that you’re selfish. Positive that he’ll tell you that you’re not worth all this hassle.
Instead Joel does something you're not expecting. 
He crosses the room over to you and slips to his knees, holding you around the middle before he presses his forehead gently against your abdomen. It shocks you, this action and this pose from him. He sits like this in silence for several minutes, holding you, breathing against you in heavy shudders. Your hands are on his broad shoulders, glancing down at him in confusion. 
"I'm so sorry," he finally whispers, a little murmur against you. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there."
"I didn't need you to be," you insist, your hand going to his neck, urging his face up to look at you. He won't move his face from where it is lodged against your stomach. He can’t.
"But I should have been," Joel insists, his voice a low rasp. 
“It was so long ago.”
Almost six months since the awful incident. And you don’t carry it with you, not like Joel apparently has because now his head tilts back from your abdomen.
"I never should have walked away that day. I should have stayed. If I had none of this Tess and Paul shit would have happened. I would’ve gone back with you to Chicago." Joel's voice sounds thick with escaping emotion. "I ruined us." 
His beautiful eyes open and you watch as tears slip down his cheek. You suppose that's what makes you freeze up, your heart sinking. You've never seen Joel cry before and the sight is as shocking as it is heartbreaking. 
"Forgive me," he whispers brokenly. "Please."
You can see the anguish in his features and realize he's been living in it since you got back. This hellish landscape of grief and regret. He's been wearing it like armor weighing him down.
"Nothing to forgive," you tell him honestly, your knuckles trailing down his cheek to wipe the tears away. "Joel it was never a matter of fault. It was just how things happened."
His head drops against your stomach again and you can feel his strong shoulders begin to quake jerkily.
"I was fucking weak."
"You were human," you reply, rubbing at his shoulders, wanting to soothe him as much as he wants to soothe you. "You couldn't have known." 
"I just left you there, all hollow and quiet and I walked away," Joel's voice is ragged. "I should have stayed. That's what you do when you love someone."
Love.
It hits you with a strong, visceral acuity. Starting in your rib cage and then spreading outward, causing everything in your body to wake up.  It makes you breathless to hear it, though you've long suspected it, secretly hoped for it.
"Joel-"
"I'll never stop being sorry for it," Joel tells you simply, his face tilting up to look into yours. "Never."
Without thinking your hand is gently carding through his tousled curls. His eyes shutter closed as he leans into your hands. The moment is overwhelming in austerity and you need to break it. 
"Not even if I asked nicely?" you say with a teasing lilt to your voice.
His eyes open and he gives you a small, watery smile before he stands. He towers over you again, taking your face in his wide hands and now it’s you leaning into his touch.  
"I'd do anything you asked."
And all at once you know he's going to kiss you and that you want him to. 
He tilts his head forward and lips move over yours so gently that you sigh into his mouth. Your entire body sags towards him and instead of the fervent kisses from not that long ago, this kiss is different. It’s soft and sweet and unhurried. His soft lips move over yours, taking time to memorize how your pliant mouth moves under his, the way you inhale softly when you break apart, his wide hands still cupping your face.
Tess.
Marmalade.
Selfish.
"I'm sorry I called," you sniff, tilting your face from him. "I never should have done that. You should go, Joel." 
"You want me to go?" Joel's voice is a low aching sound. You can't look at him. You can't look into those intense, beautiful eyes of his so instead you face away from him. 
"Yes."
You feel yourself floundering, that unmistakable voice in your head screaming to run. Run from the conflict. Run from your feelings.
Run. Run.
"You're lyin'," Joel insists. 
"I'm not."
You feel his strong fingers on either side of your chin, dragging your face to meet his. But still your eyes remain closed.
"Look at me."
You shake your head the best that you can in his grip. 
"I can't have you here, Joel. I'm sorry I called you, it was wrong.”
Joel's hand is flying to slide around the back of your neck. "Stop."
"You’re with Tess," you insist with a shake of your head, pulling back from his sweet touch. "She's perfect for you. She'll make the best mom to Sarah. It makes sense, Joel. You have to see that."
"I broke it off with Tess," Joel bites off.  “I don’t want Tess.”
Your eyes fly open."What?"
"How could I keep dating her? I knew I couldn't stop wanting you. I never will." Joel feels his neck growing warm. "And she told me what she asked you to do, to stay away from Sarah."
You nod brokenly, feeling the tears gathering just at the memory compounded by this new guilt.
"Why would you do that?"
"Because I just want what's best for you and Sarah. A chance at a real family."
You've ruined this for him. Joel's chance at a family, something for himself. Something for his own.  Selfish like your dad.
"Go back to Tess, Joel. Tell her it was a mistake."
"I'm not gonna do that."
"You have to, Joel. She wants you."
“And you don’t?”
It hangs there, the truth between you. If you admit it, it’s over. Any pretense you would have carried is gone. He’ll choose you because of this unknowable, untenable connection. But you’re not good for him. You’re not the kind of woman Joel Miller needs. You’ll take and take from him, leaving him with nothing in the end. It’s how your father operates, and you are your father’s daughter. Your engagement isn't even officially off. You're moving to Chicago. So what? You'll confess you love Joel? Make him feel compelled to follow you to Chicago? And what about Sarah? You're going to disrupt her life too? How is that not the most selfish thing in the world?
“No.”
Saying it physically hurts.
You love Joel. You love this man in front of you. And it’s precisely that love that sends you pushing back from him. But you’re stopped by his hand on the back of your neck again, holding you there.
"Don't," Joel says through clenched teeth."Don't stand there and lie to me of all people. You wanna lie to yourself? Fine, but not to me. Never to me. I don’t deserve it."
It is. It is a fucking lie.
"Tell me the truth," Joel urges gently, pleading. "Tell me to my face that you don't want me as much as I want you.”
You try to form the words that tell him exactly that, but you can't.
They don't exist. 
Joel nods in understanding, his warm eyes even warmer. But he can see the fear in your expression, the panic. 
"Just let me take care of you tonight," Joel whispers, his thumb stroking your cheek. "Please." 
You're trembling against his palm, tears coating your lashes. "Okay."
Joel seems surprised by your easy acceptance but he nods, reaching down to take your hand in his. 
"Let's go to bed."
You follow him without question to the bed. He shrugs off his jacket, watching you watching him. You're eyes are owlish in your face, the tension clear. Joel brings himself up on the bed still dressed in his jeans and shirt. He lays overtop the sheet before bringing it back for you to crawl under. 
You hesitate. There is nothing more enticing than the thought of Joel making love to you right now. But it feels wrong, rushed. Too many things going on in your mind.
"I just wanna hold you," Joel explains when he sees your eyes nervously move from him to the bed. "If that's okay?"
Relief floods you and you nod, moving under the covers of your bed. And all the aching loneliness, all the terror of being lost? It’s gone. It’s gone the second you snuggle up against Joel in your bed.
His broad hand moves through your hair gently, moving it back from your flushed face before stroking it in tenderly. He stares at you, barely blinking. You muse that you could have entire conversations like this, just staring into each other's eyes. That perhaps you're having one right now. 
His eyes are so soft. How can a man made up of sharp angles and broad planes look at you with eyes so fucking soft? 
"How can you look at me like that?" you ask blinking through new tears. "After everything I've told you how can you lie there and look at me like I'm not a piece of shit?"
"Because you're not," Joel replies swiftly. "None of what your dad did is your fault. How could it be?"
"If I was there-"
"He'd still be using," Joel tells you simply. "And he'd have a new thing or person to blame for it."
"Even if that's true," you insist. "I'm his kid. I should go back."
"You're telling me if I told a grown up Sarah she had to move back home to take care of me, even if I'd barely been in her life, even if she had a whole life somewhere else, you'd tell her she was selfish for not doing it?"
Your eyes widen. Sarah. Sweet, genuine Sarah. No, you wouldn't blame her. But that's Sarah.
"She's just a kid-"
"Same age as when your dad started." Joel's eyes are watery. "How come you're so unkind to yourself? Why don't you think you deserve good things?"
"A lifetime of experience," you reply darkly.
///
And for a moment there is sudden clarity for Joel that hits him in such a way he's shocked he never understood it as easily before. 
In the job you chose, in the immediately natural way you were with the screaming Daniel, even quicker than you were with his sweet and calm Sarah.  
In the way these animals, hurt and abandoned and ignored are so much more than just pitiful creatures that pass along your desk in files. 
You see yourself in them. 
You see yourself in their haunted eyes and terrible histories. You see it in the plaintive cry of the frustrated Daniel. In this world that turns its back and its ears to them you want desperately to embrace them, to hold them to you and communicate a perfect, unending love for them.
Because no one did that for you. 
Your mom tried, Joel is sure of it. But love is hard to share when so much of it is reserved for a husband in constant crisis. When you're a frazzled mother working two jobs to keep your mortgage and your marriage and family together. Love is there of course, but it's not overt. Not like you crave. 
The kind of love that Maria gives you without question. The kind of love Joel would give to you every fucking day if you said you wanted him to be yours.
"I know I have no right to ask you to stay or demand anything from you, but, fuck, please don't do this," Joel whispers earnestly. "Don't move back to Chicago." 
You're silent. 
“If you do you’ll never come back,” Joel murmurs, his voice full of so many emotions it would be impossible to pick just one. “I know you. You’d sacrifice everything for him.”
“I. . . I don’t. . .”
Your eyes are so heavy, almost as heavy as your heart. You’ve shared so much with Joel, brought up so many painful memories it feels like you’ve run a marathon. Your head tilts against the pillow.
"Go to sleep, baby," Joel tells you, holding himself back from kissing you. "I'm here. Just sleep."
When you finally fall asleep Joel continues to look at you. His dark eyes travel the curve of your cheek, takes in the length of your lashes and the way your mouth looks half open in sleep. He memorizes each part of your face knowing that this may be his only chance to do so. 
You’re engaged. You still have that connection to your parents in Chicago. There is so much that exists in this world to take you away from him. 
He still sees it this way, outside forces wanting to rip you from him, as if he has some claim on you. He doesn't care if Paul gave you a ring. You’re his. You’re his and he has never stopped feeling this way, even though he's tried. He doesn't know he'll ever stop. 
He stops himself from kissing your sleeping mouth on more than one occasion during the night, desperate for that contact if this is really the end. 
It can't be the end. It can't.
You sigh in your sleep, shuffling closer against him for warmth or for comfort. Joel allows this, his eyes skipping closed at the calm your nearness brings him. 
I'll never ask for anything as long as I live. Just let her be mine.
He finally falls asleep with your soft breathing in the crook of his neck
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furrysmp · 5 months
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decided to go sunbringer designs for once. I have so many words oh my god
so. uh,
I am so normal about sunbringer joel smallishbeans so normal I swear. he's planning to throw the o from his name at scott btw.
... he and scar are related but I'm not explaining further until the actual fic about it comes out because there's so much plot significance in the smallishbeans.
... grian. has a book. that he borrowed from the Library. it's very relevant I swear the concept of the library is a plot point.
Also grians eyes are technically green! With a bit of purple and just. a layer of Dark over them to make them less neon green. its not in his genetics to have neon eyes. unlike scar and I swear their eye colors are relevant but like in a weird queerplatonic scarian dl based bit in the grian chapter of the fic
Mumbo is a long cat and being held by me specifically those hands are how I draw my mc skin. I wanted to draw him as this meme since 2021 but he's very hard for me to draw so I took the one time I'll ever draw him and did this.
Jimmy is. a creature. that has bird features but also cod features bc again half of the plot of sunbringer is based on empires 1. Also the bird he's holding is singing. And joel is stealing the song bc he has music type magic.
Scott! Is the one guy I can talk about! Because he already appeared in the fic. He's part ender dragon and like. a child of stars? I have a lot of times I drew him before I think but idk how much of it I uploaded before so yeah. Please ask me about sunbringer scott smajor he's one of the only ones I can talk about and he has so much lore going for him he's so dear to me
impulse is. technically part ender dragon too? the specifics will be explained in his chapter of yhiwu (alongside. a lot of magic lore. like a lot. I have half that speech written already it's basically looking the empires fic in the eyes and going "fight me uwu")
And because impulse is aligned to shadows skizz gets to be some form of light dragon descendant? Like light isn't directly an element in the magic of this universe but it does have an equivalent in the element of Life, which connects to truth and love, whereas shadows and theatrics (and storytelling in general) is always aligned to whatever element is considered dark; in this magic system, being Void.
Tango is looking up at mumbo. thats all. I don't have a lot of notes because my tango is just a little guy.
(Etho is checking smth on his smartwatch and also doing his best to ignore bdubs rn bc bdubs is in his villain arc/hj)
... ngl the only note I have on the bdubs design is that it's accidentally inspired by my human design for the main character in the show I'm writing. Bracelets and sparkly eyes and a t-shirt and. Crimes.
also not much on the cleo design she was just fun to draw but the implications of her existence are spoilers and also not really visually indicative bc idk what a "zombie hybrid" would look like so she just looks. funky. her background is all stitched together btw I finally had a use for the dashed lines brush :D
martyn and ren are. BIG spoilers. But only to like chapter 5 of the current fic. I will say I highly enjoy their existence tho. Also my ren designs always have hawaiian patterned shirts its a personality trait he seems to possess. Also his glasses are like. a hologram? bc his ears are Dog so he cant have normal glasses w like. the things that go behind ur ears.
lizzie is. also very important. she gets the two animals thing like jimmy bc axolotl and cat were her empires animals. also her buns are heart shaped I saw some fanart of that and its really cute so I also have that. and she's also looking at the long mumbo! very confused.
bigb. scares me. like yeah secret life really be mans villain arc. I tried to reflect that by actually straight up mirroring his eyes and having him be. the only guy looking straight at u. he can see u. u can run but u cant hide. also he gets cookies. also also drawing facial hair is hard he's the only time I ever managed to make facial hair look. normal. ever. wont happen again.
gem is being adorable and also definitely a deer hybrid dont mind the magic or stuff its fine (her chapter is. third in the roster. I literally just need to finish the impulse chapter to convince myself that its ok to upload her immediately after ch2).
and pearl! who we know bc she gets first chapter of the fic and thats already out. her eyes are a bit like moons btw. also she's doing magic back at gem which is cute I think. idk.
also half of them have fancy hair shines. like joel having beans that get progressively smaller. or pearl having moons. :D
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leviathans-watching · 11 months
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Haluuuu I was waiting for this day!! I was about to request something from you but it was close😭 so now that it's open please hear me outt🥰🥰
Can I request a Headcanon fluff with the obey me boys or side characters reaction to their MC and kid having a sweet moment?
You can do it whenever you want I'm willing to wait!💜 Honestly your one of ny fav writers in this app! Your so good I hope you continue this with Passion 💜💜💜
you and your kid
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includes: the brother x gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)
wc: .7k | rated g | m.list
a/n: omggg i have such bad baby fever rn and this made it worse,,, and it was so hard giving some of them sons they're all such girl dads imo
please rb <33
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➳ lucifer watches you hold the spoon near your daughter’s mouth, cooing at her as she takes a bite of the human-world mashed goop. disgusting as the food looks, you and your daughter look quite the opposite, and he can’t help but smile as you gently wipe at her mouth. a fruitless endeavor, to be sure, as your guys’ daughter is one messy eater, but the care and love in your actions warms him all the same. how did he get so lucky to enjoy these moments? surely mundane seeming to some, but to him, they mean the world.
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➳ mammon shuts the car door, stretching. man, it is good to be home! but seeing you open the front door, welcoming him in with his daughter on your hip is much better. you wave with a smile, and upon seeing him, your daughter starts to squirm, masking grabby hands in his direction. booking it up to you, mammon takes your daughter, pressing a big kiss on her forehead, then leans in to kiss you. “i missed you,” he says. “both of you.” your daughter squeals happily, tugging on his hair, and mammon lets her, basking in both of your presences.
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➳ levi steps outside, on the hunt for you and your son. you’d both disappeared and once checking the house he knew you must be in the yard. the sound of a plastic bat hitting a ball tells him he’s right, and he makes his way around the corner. “how goes it?” he calls, and you look up. you’ve been teaching your son how to play whiffle ball, as he’d expressed interest in joining the neighborhood t-ball team, something levi was content to leave in your hands. as he speaks, your son winds up for another swing, sending the ball bouncing across the grass. you cheer and clap and levi can’t help but cheer too.
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➳ satan wakes up the the baby crying, rolling over and out of bed. you’re already up, trying to comfort her, and as he joins you, he hears you singing softly, a nonsense piece that you’ve no doubt made up on the spot. “how long have you been up?” he asks, taking your guys’ daughter from you and holding her close. “i can take it from here, love. go back to bed.” you ignore his words, wrapping your arms around his waist, and he huffs out a laugh. “fine, fine, i’ll take care of you both.”
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➳ asmo blinks as he meets your eyes, not expecting to see some very, uh, artistic makeup covering your face. lipstick is smeared across your chin and bright blue glitter is across your cheeks, but as you grin up at him he can’t help but think you’re as attractive as always. “oh, is it makeover time?” he asks mildly. “she takes after me, i guess. an eye for beauty and all.” you laugh, and your daughter runs into the room, beaming proudly. “this was your work?” he asks, scooping her up into his arms. “amazing!” he says as you giggle, and continues to shower her with compliments.
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➳ beel wakes up to his bed shaking and looks up to see his son crawling across it. you’re in the doorway, a tray in hands, and beel can smell that it’s breakfast. “good morning, kiddo,” he says sleepily, lifting the blanket so your son can snuggle in next to him. “breakfast in bed? i’m spoiled.” you smile, setting the tray down on the bedside table, and beel can see the misshapen pancake hearts that are no doubt the product of hard work. before you can leave, beel moves the covers again, and you sigh warmly, climbing back into bed as well, your son squished in the middle.
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➳ belphie feels a small hand slip into his and looks down. it’s, of course, his daughter, who always insists on holding both of your hands whenever you walk somewhere. you laugh at the familiar action, and he gives you a quelling look. “are you excited to go the park?” he asks your daughter, and she nods excitedly, full of energy. he resigns himself to hours of swing-pushing and tag-playing but consoles himself with the fact that you’ll be there too, even if it is only to take videos while he’s forced to run around and play.
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leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own
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jazjelspen · 11 months
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leaving on wild charted waters [pt.2]
(what if our mc just got tired of Night Raven College and it's inhabitants?)
(what if our mc meets a boy of red hair and blue eyes to show them the way around RSA?)
(also please read the small authors notes at the bottom if you make it that far T-T)
it's been a good short hours on the ship and this whole time you've been chatting up a storm with your new friend Rielle, and during this time you've both actually warmed up and learned a handful about each other! 
you learned about each other's basic favorite things like colors, food, subjects, and even in music! Conversations seemed to flow smoothly like water between you two and you even learned how enchanting and magical his singing voice sounds, it almost had you entranced.
your new friend and you were now having a moment of silence while taking in the sounds of the water splashing against the ship until the boy spoke.
"if you don't mind me asking-- and I don't mean to pry! just that.." Rielle spoke while he nodded his head forward towards the direction of your cast holding your broken arm."is the reason why you're wounded related to your experience in Night Raven?... you don't have to answer if you don't want to I'm just genuinely curious." he gave you a comforting smile and his eyes were right on you, listening intently.
you gave a half-hearted and sheepish smile as you looked away and quickly started reminiscing about the events these past few months had in store for you in your head before you started to speak.
"well... in a way yes. I don't want to point any fingers--" you did want to point fingers, in fact you had many people to point fingers to. you sighed as you lightly shook your head in disappointment whilst facing the ship's floor "there were people who should've just done their job." your face started to form in a bit of a scowl "then maybe, just maybe... I wouldn't be in this state."
the young man formed an 'o' with his lips as he understood what you're trying to say.
"hmm..I see.. I'm very sorry _____, I promise that with my friends and I you'll never get a scratch on you while you're with us! and if it makes you feel any better, our staff too is always responsible and capable of finding a solution for any problem you're facing!" Rielle tried his best to sound optimistic and uplifting with the brightest smile on his face to get your frown turn upside down! and to also make you feel a little more confident in yourself as to give you more hope that your situation will turn around.
his very short speech made your head turn towards him and as he intended, you smiled warmly back with a new spark of optimism rising in your chest.
"thank you Rielle, that's... very kind of you." you spoke "I'm sure that while I'm with you, I'll at least have less than half of the injuries I have now."
he chuckled softly before responding to your comment "i'm sure you'll have few to none."
there was a moment where you two just looked at each other, both smiling and chuckling with the cold yet fresh sea breeze hitting both of your faces and the last few shines of the setting sun hitting both of your faces so perfectly. when you both calmed down you could feel this feeling of optimism rise up in your system even further.
this guy, his school-- you had a really good feeling about this change.
as well as a terrible feeling but about NRC.
but you didn't want to think much of it, not right now at least.
 on Rielle's side he genuinely feels and understands your predicament, having to adapt into a strange new world that works differently than your own home does... he gets the feeling of being a total fish out of water. so because of this he feels he has this kind of connection with you because of this small detail you both have in common.
but in a really random way you also couldn't help but notice how ethereal the shade of blue was in his eyes.
you were about to ask a question but were rudely interrupted when the sailors of the ship were yelling from up above and hanging on the ropes beside the sails, announcing that the ship is now slowly arriving towards the school.
the news made you automatically want to stand up and get a good look of the school. to then have your eyes finally meet the shape of a large white castle as the focal point with the peaks of each of it's towers glistening while still being overshadowed by the shining and setting sun behind. the scene was breathlessly magical with the special touch of this entire moment being the mixed splashes of orange, deep purple, and yellow of the sky blending in with the glistening waters of the calm ocean.
Rielle slowly stood up beside you while facing the school as well "amazing isn't it? seeing the academy shining against the sunset is one of my favorite things to see here." he said before he took in a big inhale of the ocean air to then exhale, taking in the scene and all it's beauty.
"you're damn right it's amazing." you chuckled at your comment before Rielle quickly joined in too in a shared chuckling fit. For the rest of your time on the ship you two decided to just calmly enjoy the view until the ship reached ashore.
Let's speed up to now reaching and stopping on the shore.
A gangplank was set down for you and any other residents to hop off the ship. Rielle and you slowly yet excitedly walked off at the exit to finally walk down to RSA-- that was until Rielle stopped you before you could step a foot on the large plank.
"Here, let me help you out my friend." Rielle then offered a helping hand by extending his elbow out, asking you to link your uninjured arm around his as a way to help and avoid slipping but also because he's just a gentleman at heart.
you gave him a smile and a small 'thank you' as you accepted his offer while linking both of your arms together with him(or only hold onto his arm with your hand, whichever you feel comfy with)and carefully walked off the ship with him at your side. when you two find yourselves on the shore at the edge of the sea you could feel a bit of nervousness now in your system since to you it seems like you're in a whole new world. Rielle noticed this and in another attempt to cheer you up he gently tugged at your arm that you linked with him to have you look at him, to give you a reassuring smile.
"You'll be just fine _____, I'll show you where you need to go if you'd like. just know I'll be right here with you."
His words started to sink in as you gave him a hesitant nod but a strong statement,
"Let's do this."
Meanwhile... at Night Raven College..
well... I'll save all the NRC chaos in the next post, it deserves it's own chapter ;)
(will include descriptive yet somewhat short reactions of only house leaders unless there is demand for other characters)
(also if you're confused why I had a ship travel you to RSA instead of just going through the forest and through the town I completely forgot that the isle of sages housed both NRC and RSA 💀💀but im already this far in so pretend it makes sense please T-T)
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itonashi · 1 year
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I am ME.
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SUMMARY : Known around the world — a genius scientist named [Name][Last Name]. Everyone sought to be her as she was deemed perfect. A young prodigy that managed to climb up the ranks alongside her friends. She met her demise at the age of 35. It shook the world. Tears fall because of her. Will there be another her?
PAIRING : aquamarine hoshino x fem!reader
WARNINGS : implied deaths, stalking, drugs, slow burn romance, murder, more will be added.
A/N : 2k words. goddamn.. hehe enjoy and pls remember im not an expert still in the adults world neither i am that smart LOL.
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4 years later...
You're 6 years old right now. Well, physically. You do not have the patience to restrain myself from not talking all the time. Your babysitter is sleeping. You're infront of a tv. Remote beside you. Maybe, you should change it to a music show?
You're bored after all. No freedom so what else can you do? You change the channel to a music show. After you change it, The MC was announcing the winner for the music show.
"Let's congratulate, B-Komachi!" The MC exclaimed and the audiences roared at the mention of B-Komachi. The members went up the stage, taking the award.
"That girl... looks familiar." You muttered under your breath. A beautiful girl with a blue purplish hair color took the mic and start her speech while giving a heart gesture.
That's the girl you met before. She was interesting to say the least. Even from a first glance, you knew that she hailed from an abusive and solemn past. She was expressionless, she talked to you without any interest in the world and show the real her. To see her become an idol.. does that means she's lying to herself right now.
What drove her to be an idol? You met her only once and yet you feel like, she would be important later on. How captivating, you hope the future is kind to her.
"And that's all from me! Ai!" She waved and giving the mic to another member.
Idol. A career that isn't appreciate enough. Some people on the world looked down upon this career. Just singing and dancing, they said. It's more than that.
Idol need to have a perfect image. One wrong step, then scandal will come for them. Especially if you're a famous group. They have to lie. They have to please their fans. One mistake and it will be talk about for years even after disbanding. The entertainment industry is dangerous. Strict to the point they could take your life.
Idol is also human. They're not robot. They also have feelings. Idols are admirable, they need to have a strong mental to handle the hate. The world is unfair to them. There's so many cases on what happened to idols for the past years and some of it is cruel.
Every career have it's upside and downside. There's no need to compare.
You broke out of your thoughts when the front door opening. You didn't even realize your babysitter already went home. "[Name]." Your father called out to you. You stand up and walk towards him with a tiny smile on your face. Your father wasn't that bad now that you have observed him for 3 years.
He looks like he love your mother dearly. Before going to work, he would always give a kiss to the cheek on your mother. Your mother would blush a little. He carry you to his arm and bring you to his lap.
"I need you to make a decision, [Name]." He said with a stern tone. You tilt your head and nod. "Do you want the easy life or the hard life?" He added, starting into your eyes with a little smile.
You widen your eyes a little "I choose the hard life!" You give an eye closed smile to your father. You felt like being silly while saying that. You expect that if you choose the hard life, he would put you into the entertainment industry. This is the time for you to reveal how smart you are to your family. You aim to be the youngest people to be scouted into the world organization you were previously in. It is possible, in that organization there's no rules for age. You learn that when a child was born in that organization from a couple.
How's that child you see as a little sister figure doing? You hope she still love drawing and painting. Your plan starts now.
Your father sae the expression on your face and laugh "That's good, [Name]. In this world, there's no one living the easy life. Next week, you will follow me visit some director." Your father said with excitement. This is probably the second time you see him that excited — the first one being the time when you talk for 'first time'
He pat you on the head and left you alone on the couch. 'Did he do that just to left me on the couch?' You deadpan at your father but shrug it off. You lay on the couch and close your eyes, gathering the information you gotten for the 4 years you have been living in this new body.
One thing for sure, one of your friends had a baby at the same year you were born. You pray for the chances to meet the child. This time, there's no mistake. You want more connections than before.
"[Name], are you excited to see a child acting on the site?" Your father is driving the car to a filming site. He said the director is someone named Taishi Gotanda. You don't really remember the great things that Taishi guy have did since you weren't that keen on keeping up with the media world.
"Yeah! I'm excited! They're the same age as me, right?" You exclaimed. "No, you're the older one there." He said. Great, being the eldest means babysitting. Well, not if the children is discipline properly.
You arrive at the site and you scan around the site for a potential connection to be made with. Your father tap your back and you follow him behind his back. "Oh, Yoshino-san. Great to have you here." The Taishi guy shake your father's hand and he noticed you behind your father. You notice his eyes and smile while waving to him. 
'This is boring.' You thought while walking a little bit away from your father. "Yoshino-chan, please follow me." A staff called out to you. You faced them and nod. "Your father said that you would only see how the process goes. You don't need to do any acting." The staff stated while leading you to a waiting room. You only hum at her to show that you're still listening to her.
'What a quiet kid...' The staff thought. The staff left you as soon as you arrive at the waiting room. You saw three kids and overhear their conversation. "Bet her acting was so bad they had to cut it all out! She seems to be good at buttering people up, though!" The child with red hair uttered.
The red hair proceed to be kinda rude in your opinion to other people. She left not before noticing you though. She look at you up and down and left. 'Is this how kids are?' You sweat at the child behavior. You look inside the room and saw two kids who you assume is twin because of the similarities. The annoyed expression on their face is visible, probably because of that girl? She's Arima Kana , if you remember correctly.
The girl who can flick a crying switch. Well, whatever. You bow at the twin and introduce yourself. They notice you and bow as well. "Oh, I'm Hoshino Ruby! And he's my brother. Hoshino Aquamarine but call him Aqua." The girl claim. What a weird name for japanese people.. The first thing you noticed about the pair is their eyes. It was captivating enough to lure you in. I'm sure they would become a big part of the entertainment industry. A powerful duo, they would say.
"Nice to meet you.." Aqua greet you with a neutral face. An opposite personality of his sister. A smile crawled up your face. "Soo.. why are you guys here?" You questions their presence at the filming site. "I will be acting while my sister here well.. she's just here, I guess." The boy deadpan. "How rude!" Ruby exclaimed.
You nod and cross your arm "It seems like Ruby is the same as me. I will only be watching." You hope that a friendship will bloom between you guys.
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Amazing. You lightly smirk at the acting Aqua did. He only act like himself but he was incredibly creepy with it as that was what's the director aiming for. Maybe, the main part of it was because he seems mature for his age and his eyes. You just can't seem to let go of the beauty. "How did you think about it, [Name]?" Your father ask you with interest towards the young boy. "It's amazing, father. Can I start acting too?" You replied while staring at Arima Kana who was crying.
"It's never to late for you to be like your mother." Your father stated while lightly smiling at you "I can get you a role. Make sure to past my expectations." He added. Looks like the expectations for results is starting.
After that, your father have been keeping contacts with the twin since he have taken an interest on the young boy. You occasionally met the twin and learn more about them one by one. Sadly, your father couldn't keep hold of the them — Director Taishi Gotanda did.
You appear on multiple drama show as a child actor and made a name for yourself. There have been talks that you would conquer Arima Kana the child actor prodigy. You don't intend to do that but if that's what happen, it will happen. But they have to stop the  comparison because every person have their own flaws.
You even got to do some photoshoot for a child's brand. Well, this will be memories in a few years. Atleast, you get to feel being a child again. A carefree child. Because of all the acting, you had to learn new skills everytime even things that you didn't learn in your past life. Naturally, you're good at it.
I guess you would still be a genius this time too.
When the death of Ai Hoshino happened, you attend the funeral with your parent. The people grieving over Ai's death make you recall the time your parent got into a bad accident and passed away because of that. You didn't cry because you had no connection to her but it still hurts to know that the stranger you have met before when they're a teenager to died when they almost turn into a full fledged adult.
You hope the people from Strawberry Production is taking their time to heal from the loss of a staff. You can only give prayers to them.
Later on, the death of Ai was just like a wind breeze that pass every day. No one talk about it after a week. Some may move on and some didn't. Ai Hoshino may you rest in peace.
A year of being in the entertainment industry — thanks to your father. You don't care if they call you a nepo baby. You're talented, that's all that matter. You were invited to a variety show and you were excited since you can freely show your talents there. No on can say a thing about it. No one will question it.
You met the cast and greet them. It was going well until they start talking about your acting career. "Yoshino-san, you really resemble your mother and your acting skill is incredible. Mind to share a tip?" The MC compliment your acting. "I can't because I am ME. I don't think much on what to do and just go with the flow." You said with a neutral tone. One thing about the entertainment industry, they won't question what the kids say since their still not mature for their age and just let out what's on their mind. Even if you have a sharp tongue, the people will love it. They don't mind it when a kid do it. At the very least, you have to have a character that will make people love you.
That would make people remember you for a long time.
"Yoshino-san, your father said before in an interview that you are a genius. Top at everything, is that true?" One of the cast commented. You smirk "Why don't you give me a question and let me answer it? I would prefer if it's a math question, though." With this, you will make moments for yourself. The cast laugh at your confidence and gave you a whiteboard. You will be competing with the 'smartest' cast, they said.
"69 x 4."
Ding!
A ring was made by you. The questions was too easy. As former scientist, you had to count percentage so this is a piece of cake for you. The cast beside you look at you bewildered. "276." You confidently said. "Correct!" The MC exclaimed. You know that they're looking down on you. You ought to prove them wrong.
After a series of questions, the people were speechless upon your smartness. The adults didn't expect this. Your mother look at you behind the swarm of staff and smile widely. You notice it and wave a little.
Soon, the filming ended. You were tired and hold out your arms to your mother. Your mom chuckle s and carry you up to her arms and kiss you on the cheeks. "You did good, my little angel." Your mother praises you. You snuggle up to her. Even though, you are an adult mentally but you want to indulge in this child body of your of receiving parent's love.
Even an adult wants to heal their inner child.
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TAGLIST : @glitch-karma @kult-o @miyakoa @pandaswitch @serbian-x @nambii @bajifairyy @lumiriai
[NEXT] [PREV] [SERIES LIST]
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itonashi © // don't plagiarize, copy or edit my works.
946 notes · View notes
The Arcana HCs: M6 when MC calls them their husband/wife/spouse
My silly little sequel is here:
M6 planning their wedding with MC
You know, because there was that trend for a bit and they're all down bad for MC/you
Julian
It took you a while to work up to doing it
Not because you were nervous about him having a bad reaction, everybody who has met him knows how much he loves you
No it's because you know his reaction will be so dramatic and you need time to mentally prepare
You know he loves when you take the lead on things, so you let it slip at the Rowdy Raven while you're ordering drinks at the bar
"Yes I'd like that please, and my husband will have a salty bitters. Put it on my tab."
His shrieking puts Malak to shame
"Husband? I'm your HUSBAND?? Did you mean it??? YES!!!"
He's expressing himself in every way at once: laughing, shouting, dancing, "singing", punching the air, spinning you around
All the regular patrons are wondering what secret concoction he ordered, he walked in the door ten minutes ago and he's already on the tables
When did he find the guitar
Give the guitar back to the nice musician, Julian
You're able to herd him back to your regular table and calm him down a bit but you've never seen him giggle constantly like this
After you've had your drinks and left the tavern the walk back home takes twice as long as usual because he needs to tell everyone that he's properly taken now
*bumps into neighborhood acquaintance* "Hey, how are you, I'm their husband!"
Rumors of the beloved Dr Devorak's clandestine wedding are circulating now and he is living for it
He did sit you down and talk about getting married in the future after this
If it's something you were interested in, there are only two reasons he hasn't proposed already:
One, he keeps overthinking and self sabotaging
Two, he's waffling between letting you sweep him off his feet with a proposal or him proposing and getting to make it as grand as he wants to
Asra
Let's be honest here, if any mortal person ever embodied unconditional love, it's him
They gave up half their heart just to have you back in the land of the living, no strings attached, and if you ended up choosing someone else over them, they would support you as long as you were happy
If you're with him though that means you chose him, and he is so so happy
They also love mischief of any kind
You didn't hesitate to try it out once it occurred to you
He walked in from his busy day out as you were closing up the shop, taking off his coat and scarf
"How's your day been, MC?"
"Better now that my spouse is home!"
They stumbled on their way to the tea pot and you could see the blush spreading across the back of their neck
"O-oh, you don't say?"
The dimples are out in full force when he returns with your tea
"Tell me then, MC, how exactly does this spouse of yours make your day better?"
They are going to act on every response they tease out of you
"Is it the way he brings you things to make you smile?" *lays out trinkets he picked up for you while he was out*
"How about the way your spouse kisses you good evening?" *slides an arm around you with a flirtatious smirk*
He's playing it off so smoothly but the blush takes several hours to fade
It'll stay on their mind for a while though, until they circle back and ask you if marriage is something you'd want in the future
If the answer is yes he's getting things in place so he can propose as soon as you're ready to be asked
Nadia
She already introduced you to her family as the person she wanted to marry someday, it's in her plans
She's letting you set the pace for that though, and she's not in a big rush as long as you two belong to each other
Which is why it falls off your lips so casually while you're having afternoon tea on the veranda before she has to host a reception that evening
"I don't know Nadia, if what you say about my reputation is true then those nobles should know better than to give my wife a difficult time tonight."
At least you think you sound pretty casual, you had to rehearse that sentence a few times in your head and your palms are sweating under the tablecloth
She freezes and her eyebrows shoot straight up
"Oh my, MC, how bold of you."
Then she's blushing and laughing and pulling you closer
"Pray tell, when did you begin thinking of me as your wife?"
She's flirting with you but she's also trying to figure out if this is a sign that you're ready to get married yet without putting you under too much pressure
If the answer is no, you're not ready yet, she'll tell you to take all the time you need
But she'll also ask you to call her your wife just one more time, to help her wait
If the answer is yes, you feel ready to marry her, she is gearing up to announce your engagement that evening and reaching for the ring she's been carrying around just in case
This Countess knows a good thing when she has it and she's not wasting any time to make you hers in every way possible
Muriel
Have mercy on his poor heart, he's still getting used to being in love in general
Once you've been in an established relationship for a while though, you start to notice what a wonderful partner he is
He's always happy to help with any heavy lifting or out of reach objects, he makes breakfast for the two of you most mornings, and his favorite moments are when you're curled up next to him
Once your brain assigns the words "husband material" to him you can't unsee it
So when he sees you getting ready to scale the shelves for a bigger wooden bowl and he lifts it down for you, you just can't help yourself
You kiss him on the cheek and thank him kindly
"You're such a wonderful husband, Muriel."
He walks right outside and faceplants into the nearest patch of moss he can find to cool off the blush
The chickens are a little startled
Inanna is laughing at both of you in wolf
You'll have to go after him to make sure he didn't short circuit and apologize for catching him off guard like that
He will want you to explain what you meant right away
If your answer is just that you noticed what a good partner he is and that it just slipped out he'll be bright red and very happy to know that he's successfully treating you well
If you end up admitting that getting married has crossed your mind a few times and you could see that happening with him he's going to need a minute (read: 24 hours minimum)
He's going to ask Asra about it
Somehow he's surprised when Asra's response is an offer to officiate the wedding
Muriel will come back after a bit and quietly let you know that yeah, he's thinking about it too, and it doesn't sound like the worst idea
Portia
In her mind you two are basically married, I mean, you have her back, she has yours, you saved the world together and confessed your undying love to each other, there's not much more to do
You even travel the world and negotiate alliances with other nations together
So you don't think it'll be a big deal if you try it out
You love her "out and about" pirate-esque outfit, and she loves it too
But ever since she wore it to that banquet with Aunt Tasya and Vesuvia's ex-council, the belittling comments she got about it come back to bother her every now and then
You notice she's fidgeting a little before you head out the door for an evening on the town and decide to hype her up
"Damn, you look good! Give me a spin! Look at her Pepi, is my wife the best-looking woman in Vesuvia or what?"
Neither of you expected for it to affect her as much as it did
Her eyes and mouth are wide open in shock, because to be honest?
Getting married hadn't even crossed her mind
But it was starting to sound really appealing, really fast because it meant you got to call her your wife every day
She's giggling and squealing and confused at her own new obsession but very very happy
She won't bring it up right away because you two are about to have the best date EVER and she's about to burst with pride
But she'll bring it up eventually
If your response is that you just felt like calling her that, she's happy. She will request it be a new nickname for her though
If you say that it had crossed your mind a few times, she'll be nervous and excited and very open to heading in that direction
Lucio
He's been married before, it was meh
(A/N: forgive me please, Nadia is not meh, Nadia is a goddess amongst us mere mortals, Lucio recalls their marriage as being meh because there wasn't any love between them)
ANYWAYS (pls don't kill me for real, Nadia fans are top tier and I am but a poor panicking pansexual)
He prefers to leave things in the past, and you're still helping him take the future into consideration, so long-term commitments like marriage aren't even on his radar
Really you just decided to call him that to mess with him a little
You chose the wrong moment for it though, you really did
You were stopping by the palace between gigs to check in on everyone and Nadia invited you to stay for luncheon
Lucio can't say no to a potentially fancy meal and you're happy to chill with a dear friend for a bit
Nadia forgot to mention that she invited Asra over as well, since they're in town and she knows they'll want to see how you're doing
Lucio is reminiscing about some fantastic party trick he pulled in the banquet hall you passed by on your way in and you decide to mess with him a bit
"Yeah, that sounds like something my husband would come up with."
Just as Asra is walking into the room
They're okay with your relationship, they really are, but it's going to take quite a while for Lucio to prove himself worthy of your full commitment
They still worry that he'll regress and it's important to them that you have a way out in case that happens
"WHAT-"
They're not angry, they're freaked, and to be fair Nadia is too
You hurriedly explain to everyone present that you were just messing with them, you didn't know Asra was there, you're sorry, etc
Lucio's not helping. He hadn't thought of marrying you before, but think of the party! Think of the bragging rights! Now everybody knows you chose him!
"Yeah, you heard MC! I'm gonna be the best husband EVER!"
The palace staff collectively refers to the fallout as The Incident
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yan-lorkai · 5 months
Note
Would you consider writing a drabble about Leona (And who ever else you want) The reader has a pet they adore and spoiled with love, and the boys are green with jealously over it. The mc is going somewhere and asks Leona (or whoever) to watch the pet for a bit, the boys think this might be their opportunity to take the pet 'out of the picture' but as the mc leaves they say to their pet "Be good for daddy while I'm gone~" How do they react to that and what changes
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.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ LEONA
Many people are jealous of their loved ones' pets, but you wouldn't expect Leona to be one of those people. True, he was attached to everything he could call his own - a consequence of the way he was treated, you suppose. But jealous of a pet? As incredible as it may seem, Leona was jealous, he always wanted to be with you in his arms and he growled low, or as low as he could, to keep the little animal from coming running towards you, wagging its tail like a stray.
Still, even though he was jealous, you trusted Leona to take care of your dog while you had other tasks that day. His green eyes sparkled with mischief when you finally handed him your beloved pet, leaving a soft caress on his head.
"I need you to take care of my baby while I'm gone, Leona," You murmured and left a tender kiss on your beloved lion's cheek. "I won't be long, and I trust you to take good care of them."
Leona smiled, inwardly enjoying the opportunity to finally have your undivided attention. As you turned to leave, you remembered something and leaned into your pet, whispering in a tender, cute tone. "Be good for daddy while I'm gone!"
Leona's smug expression faltered as soon as you were gone, and a strange warmth settled in his chest at your words. You were at a stage where you hadn't discussed whether you wanted children or not once you finished your studies at NRC but now he is reevaluating everything he had thinked before. The way you act all cutesy, your little hums and smiles when you spend time with your dog, somehow simple words are making his hearts pounds like crazy in his chest.
Initially, he considered moving the pet "out of the way" as he had planned, but he could no longer do that even if he still wanted to. Leona hesitated, but bent down to gently stroke the furry companion who wouldn't let go of you. Your dog responded with a satisfied bark and wagged his tail. And for a second, Leona thought he might get used to it all. With the dog, with the silly way you acted, with the promise of a future.
For now, he'll spend time trying to understand your dog's mind and why this furball doesn't want to sleep with him in the botanical garden.
⠀⠀⠀⠀
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ LEVIATHAN
Levi is the personification of envy, it's clear he's jealous of the time you spend with your pet. It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair!!! He was with you all this time and you prefer to prioritize this little animal? If you say that he does the same to Henry he will quickly silence himself.
He realizes how foolish this jealousy is, but he can't help it. He wants all of you, all of your attention, all of your thoughts and emotions, your mind, your body, everything must belong to him, or he will cry. You don't want him to cry, do you?
So when you tell him that you have a test to take and that he needs to take care of your bird, Levi feels everything around him shake. Not only can he not spend time with you because you have a test and he has online classes, but he still has to listen to your bird singing non-stop, exploring his room and pecking at everything it finds. He must protect his figures and games, and... Did your bird just climbed into his shoulder and is nuzzling against his neck?
"Take care of our baby, Levi." You smile at him and Levi feels like he's on fire, like someone threw holy water on him, his cheeks pink. "Be good to daddy, okay my dear? I'll see you both later!" You leave a peck on Levi's mouth and then kiss your bird affectionately, smiling when it chirped.
Levi ceases his movements, words and phrases forgotten on the tip of his tongue as you leave him with your bird. Baby? Daddy? Oh heavens, he feels like at any moment he's going to pass out, heat rising from his neck to his ears and cheeks. He had never thought about it before; having a family with you before, after all he was happy living with you and his brothers, without having thought about children yet. He turns to see the bird relaxing on his shoulders, preening its feathers and sometimes looking at his brightly lit computer screen. Now that he stops to think it is so cute, Levi can see why you love that little creature.
He reaches out a finger and scratches the bird's head, watching as it closes its eyes and enjoys the affection offered. He sees himself no longer caring about your pet, even though he feels jealous of the little creature. But he doesn't need to be jealous if he steals your bird to spend time with him, his daddy. So you will also spend time with him, win-win!
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lucifersimp333 · 1 year
Text
MC's Rope
NSFW
18+ ONLY
MINORS DNI AND DO NOT READ
MINORS AND AGLESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED
LuciferXmc
Reader has female anatomy
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( I fucking love how Lucifer looks in this photo, I had to use it)
Though Lucifer always had a soft spot for you, you managed to piss him off enough to be strung by the ceiling. You allowed Mammon to persuade you in to one of his money making schemes, and of course it didnt go as planned. You caught Lucifer on a bad day, and though he didn't tie your restraints as tight as he does with his brothers, you're still suspended from the ceiling.
About 30 minuets being suspended from the ceiling, he decided to check on you to see how you're holding up to your restraints. You're human, which means you're fragile. He walks in the hallway you're hung in and the smell of your arousal smacks him in the face. He can smell when you're aroused, thanks to his demon powers. "Hey Lucifer!" you say as you're hung by your torso, arms tied behind your back. "Hello, MC" he says. He keeps a calm look on his face, but inside his thoughts are swirling. Do you like being punished? Is this turning you on as much as he feels turned on? " I assume you want to be released now." he says as he steps closer to you, reaching his hand up to a stray piece of rope to let you down, hiding his arousal. " Nah, I don't mind being here." you brush off, giving him a slight smile. His hand stops in his tracks, and he can't help but grow a sinister smirk. He puts his hand back down to his side. " Very well, I'll let you be." he says as he turns away from you and walks down the hall, feeling his pants getting tight. That's just what he did, let you be. He let you hang there for the rest. Hours later Satan finally found you and decided to get you down, mentally cursing Lucifer for letting a human be suspended in the air for hours on end.
Time passes and dinner is finished. As you're at the table cleaning up your plate, Lucifer announces " MC, come to my room in 10. We need to discuss a few things." You eyes widen and you quickly glance at Mammon. " oooooooo, I smell a lecture! ~" Asmo sings. "See what happens when you hang out with Mammon? You get in to all sorts of trouble! Next time you're bored, just come to my room instead, MC~". You give Asmo and Mammon a quick worried glance as you wash your dishes. Great, you're going to spend the rest of your night hearing Lucifer nag about your decisions made with Mammon. You got bored and decided to go to the casino with Mammon, how were you supposed to know he was trying to rig the slot machines?
You knock on Lucifer's door and enter his room after hearing a stern "Come in". You shut the door behind you. " Hey Lucifer, look I'm sor-" you try to say, but Lucifer cuts you off. "Lock it" he demands, standing in the middle of his room with his arms crossed. You obey his order and lock the door behind you, your hands trembling with nervousness. You turn to face him, and he strides towards you. He takes his hand and cups your cheek, "So, you like being tied up, do you?" You're face gets flushed and you avoid his gaze. "I- I guess you could say that..." you say in a nervous voice.
He smirks a sinister grin as he leans in to kiss you. He walks you backwards to the wall while kissing you and pulls out a rope that was tucked away in his coat pocket. He turns you around and presses your chest against the wall. He takes your arms and begins to make Shabari knots starting at your wrist and working them up past your elbows. Your heart pounds and your panties dampen, you can't help but to clench your thighs together in anticipation. He grabs you by the knots on your arms and walks you to his bed.
He bends you over the bed, hand behind your neck as he pins your face into the pillow. With his free hand, he pulls your underwear and panties off. "You dirty whore, you like being tied up, don't you? Just look at how wet you're getting." He slides his hand in between your legs, sticking two fingers inside of you. He curls his fingers into a C shape and pulls up, pressing against your spongey G spot. You let out a muffled pleased cry in the pillow, spreading your legs apart for easier access. "Just what I thought, a fucking whore." he confirms. He begins to finger fuck you with his leather glove dripping of your slick. He lets go of your neck with his left hand and spreads your pussy lips apart, wanting a full view of your wet cunt being fucked by his fingers. "L-Lucifer!" You cry. "Shut the fuck up! Whores aren't allowed to speak!" he barks, slapping you on the ass with his left hand, continuing to finger fuck you with his right. You let out a yelp and shove your face back in the pillow. "You're not supposed to enjoy the punishments you receive. You liked being hung from the ceiling, didn't you? You wanted to be selfish and enjoy it, avoiding an adequate punishment. You can't deceive me, MC." he snarls, shoving his leathered fingers deeper in your pussy.
He pulls his fingers out and gets on his knees behind you. He shoves his demon tongue into your heat, hand on each ass cheek. He groans with satisfaction as he rubs and squeezes your ass, enjoying his view and savoring your taste. He fucks you with his tongue, making you moan into the bedsheets. The rope around your arms makes it impossible to prop yourself up and completely vulnerable. Once he's had enough of your taste, he stands back up. You can hear the buckle of his belt being undone and his pants falling to the floor. He grabs you by the rope on your arms and slides his demon cock into your heat. You scream with pleasure and arch your back, sticking your ass up in the air. He pulls you in to his thrusts by the rope on your arms, making you ram against his body hard and loud. The sound of your ass cheeks clapping against his body and your moans in the bedsheet fill the room. "Whores like you always need force in order to correct their actions." Lucifer spits while pulling on the rope tighter, causing your back to arch and your face to peel off the bed. " Will you be a good whore for now on?" he asks through his teeth. "y-yes!! Yes Lucifer!" you cry through your moans. "LIES! Say it like you mean it!" He shouts, thrusting harder into you. You can feel his dick sink deeper into your torso, almost as if it's tickling the bottom of your lungs. " I'll be a g-good whore, Lucifer-er!" you howl, creaming all over his dick. You shake with pleasure and grow weak after your orgasm, pussy throbbing. Lucifer pulls out of you and makes you stand by pulling you up by your rope. He turns you around, holding you upright with his arms. " I hope you have learned your lesson not to cause me headache any longer. However, I am always willing to give you a reminder not to misbehave whenever it is needed."
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delusionalwings · 1 year
Note
Omg I was thinking abt how the OB boys would be with an MC that has a beautiful voice. Like Lucifer would never admit hoe much he loves hearing them sing, Mammon would ask them to have a little concert so he can charge people even tho he thinks no one else deserves to hear their voice. Levi would want them to repeat his favorite characters voice lines, or the way Satan would love sharing them read books and how Asmo could sit and listen to them talk for hours. Ofc Belphie would want them to sing him to sleep and Beel would always invite them to his workouts, because sometimes he gets lucky and MC sings along to his music (he purposely plays songs he knows they like for that reason)
ohmigod buddy, you are so right! I especially love the mammon one for some reason. TvT LUCIFER IS A PIECE OF SHIT, ISN'T HE?! i would flirt with levi till he passes out XD. as someone who loves to read, i love the satan one ;-; asmo, yaassshhh let's get the gossip going. he definitely wants to become an idol with mc. he also starts a channel called "the voice of the devildom" or something where they ulpoad music videos. it's pro level. ah another day of belphie getting an excuse to be closer to mc ;) beel also loves it when you sing after he finishes eating. it's sweet.
mc would ace seductive speechcraft like a breeze if they have the confidence to say flirty lines-
i wrote for luci and some side characters TvT
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― synopsis -> when mc has a beautiful voice
― characters -> lucifer, diavolo, simeon, barbatos
― gender neutral reader
― headcanons
― warnings -> yandere content
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LUCIFER
The first time he catches you singing, he hides his presence and gets lost in your melody. That is when he decides that your voice must be his alone.
“Hmm. Why would you stop? Did I give you the permission to do so?”
Unbeknowst to you, he sometimes hums the songs that you are fond of singing when presumably alone. He never admits that he actually enjoys those. He lets on that it’s all his scheme to make your life miserable.
SIMEON
That sounds like the call of the divine, the voice of the angels! What lovely music it is to the ears!
“[Name], could you say the prayers today too? After all, your voice seems to be formed for this reason...”
Whenever he faces a writer’s block or feels frustrated in general, he asks you to read to him. Your voice has a quality that helps him visualise better. If you read any of his recent works, you will find how he writes about prophecies in enchanting voices, sirens calling out to bewitch angels or even a whisper in the dark. Your voice calls out to him in more ways than one.
DIAVOLO
What beautiful voice you possess! After this discovery, he decides to update his schedule to include an hour of you singing human world songs. Daily. What can be better than experiencing human world culture by enjoying the voice of his love?
He is enthusiastic about holding festivals and nudges, almost subtly forces, you to sing in those. After all, the entire Devildom must witness your talents and realise how amazing the various realms are. What potential healthy bonds can hold!
BARBATOS
Your voice reminds him of the soothing aroma of fresh tea. Even though the word ‘cunning’ perfectly suits Barbatos, he feels that you have a better claim to that title. You would speak innocently yet the words would pierce hearts. The moment you open your mouth in Seductive Speechcraft, even the Young Master is charmed.
Barbatos notices and knows that you do not have any ulterior motive but he can’t help but try to be on his guard and... ultimately fails. You are so cunning, aren’t you? Cunning and clueless... The things that you do to those around you and him. Can’t you see?
He has found that your voice helps his spirits to an extent where his efficiency improves too. How can he let you go after that? You will indulge him, won’t you?
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Text
Enhypen - when you're on your period
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A/N: Helloooo! This wasn't a request but I feel like writing this reaction since I'm currently on my period >:( Ughhh pls send help
Pairing : Bf!Enha X Fem!Reader
Warnings : Blood (obvi), food, crack, mentions of sex in jake's
Word count : 1,361 words (about 150 words each)
Masterlist - Tips
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♡ Lee Heeseung ♡
His heart would break seeing you like this
he would immediately notice you got your period, but wouldn't say anything to save you some 'embarrassment'.
He'd act nonchalant and chill, wanting to just chill whilst you were both at home and procrastinating.
"What ya wanna do?" he asks, once you come out of the bathroom for the millionth time. (It felt like that for him)
He'd let you pick whatever you wanna do and gives in, even if you wanted to test your makeup on him or paint his nails 😭
He ain't saying no
You end up watching a movie when the cramps became a little too much, laying on the couch with him behind you, hands wrapped around your waist, but ready to let go of you whenever you need to use the bathroom (again)
Hearing you whimper in pain would pain him as well, gently bringing his hand over to your tummy to rub in circles.
It doesn't really do anything tbh, maybe distract you, but you appreciate him trying 🥺
Later, he'd definitely make you some ramen, insisting that it was the only food that would cure your cramps and upset mood.
Will definitely sing you to sleep, that's why his head voice is so good.
♡ Park Jay ♡
Everyone says this but : MOM MODE ONNNN 🤗😌
Literally won't stop making sure you're good
and he's prob the most chill about it, like its not a big deal at all
he's just very mature
"You sure you have everything?"
"Don't be shy y/n, it's okay"
"I don't mind buying them for you"
And he does, bc cool boyfriends arent embarrassed to buy tampons 😎
Oh wait
"Pads or tampons?" "Ah ok" "What size exactly??" "Got it"
Hurries up bc he doesn't wanna leave you alone for too long.
Asks you what you wanna eat and will literally cook you anything
pasta with ice cream sauce? Ok
Pineapple on pizza? Ok
cook you his pet fish? Also ok
Makes you tea before bed, because he insists its good to prevent cramps
Might cuddle up in bed and lets you rest your head on his chest as he reads you a book of your choice.
Jay reading to you in that American accent 😩
♡ Sim Jake ♡
Boi does his research
he knows it has to do with periods and hormones when you start acting up
Is lowkey scared so he relies on google to provide him with answers.
"Ughhh, Jake, my cramps are getting worse" you whine, still laying in bed, scrunching up your face
He smiles brightly as he remembers of his searches
"I've heard that having sex could reduce period cramps" he announces proudly, looking at you like 😏
"You're seriously tryna get your dick wet rn??" you get mad and start throwing pillows at him.
"N-Nah but for real!!" He protests, ducking your hits "Seriously, I've read it online" he says in his defence, trying to catch his breath from that near pillow fight
"Damn, since when did you get so good at pillow fighting?" he tries to compliment but it only makes you wanna punch his bicep playfully.
You whine out in pain again, gripping onto his sitting figure at the edge of the bed. "What I am supposed to do?" he questions, haven already given you one alternative.
"Oh, how about we listen to my boy Justin?" he asks, already whipping out his phone
"Noooo, Enhypen is so much better dude" you reply, glaring at him
he agrees and puts on 'pass the mic'
He pushed your shoulders playfully "You got -pushed -pushed" he sings along
"JAKEEE"
Anyway, ends up buying you mc donalds and ice cream to make it up to you
he rly tries but he's a little clueless tbh.
♡ Park Sunghoon ♡
Bro lowkey ghosts you and avoids you
he knows that you're in a bad mood, and he doesn't wanna make it worse with uncontrollable teasing 😭
when you notice his distant behaviour, it only makes you even more upset
"HOON" you yell at him from the other room
he knows he fcked up and feel like he's boutta get his ass whooped.
He makes it hesitantly to your room, regretting it immediately when he sees your pout.
"H-hi y/n, he stutters, thinking of whatever he's gonna say, not wanting to upset your hormones.
"Hoon, why are you avoiding me?" the first tear rolls down your cheek "I'm literally bleeding and you're leaving me alone!" you burst out crying.
He stand there, biting his bottom lip, contemplating what to do
"C-can I hug you?" he asks, moving closer to you. He wraps his arms around you when you nod, pulling you in a tight hug.
"I'm sorry y/n, I thought you wanted to be left alone" he reasons, making sure you know he's sorry
"Its fine" you so sob into his shirt "Now can we watch your ice skating videos and cuddle?" you smile up at him suddenly, flattering your previously wet eyelashes to convince him.
He sighs, knowing you'll just burst out crying again if he doesn't agree
You reach for the remote, pulling on one of his ice skating videos.
He's already on your bed, hands behind his head, almost drifting off
"You look like a grandpa" you laugh, climbing onto your bed and getting closer to him, when the video starts playing.
"He wants to 'compliment' you back, but he fears he'll upset your hormones so he just doesn't say anything for your sake.
♡ Kim Sunoo ♡
A literal sweetheart
Almost like your bestie tbh
He cares about you so much and clearly shows it when your in these situations.
He doesn't hesitate to literally do everything for you
Take off your make up and does your skin care routine for you
Might even wash you if you're too tired to shower lmao
He pouts at you whenever you get cramps, wishing to take them away from you, just to see you smile again.
"My poor baby" he would say, hugging you close to him, gently, not to hurt you or anything.
He'd also be the best at tittie rubs
Like if your breasts were sore, he wouldn't mind massaging them, his soft hands easing some of the pressure on your chest.
You might even fall asleep like that, his hands on your chest under your top, acting like your bra as he sleeps behind you.
♡ Yang Jungwon ♡
Very mature #2
Cares a lot about you and worries
Studies and researches about it so you won't have bad periods :(
Worries when you wear tampons
"Doesn't that hurt?"
"Is it safe though?"
"Y/n, I don't think you should sleep t-tampons because you know, it m-might get stuck in there or something"
He just wants to make sure you're okay
"Ok gynaecologist 😀"
He doesn't really mind if you bleed on his sheets, as long as you aren't wearing tampons to bed
"It's fine sweetie, I'll clean it up"
Doesn't get mad or anything, changes the sheets and makes you change
Definitely cuddles you to sleep and holds your hand if the cramps get too much
♡ Nishimura Riki ♡
Teases the hell out of you
But also tries to help if you get cramps
If he sees you on the couch, he'll crawl in behind you, placing his hands on your hips.
He squeezes your waist
"My little ketchup bottle" he coos
"Nikiii" you try to squirm away embarrassed by his comment.
Definitely rubs your tummy if the cramps get too much
Slightly awkward at first and he feels a little shy doing it
"This okay?" he asks, rubbing circles in your tummy
You don't have the heart to tell him that it doesn't help but at least its a good distraction.
When he leaves for practise, he'll definitely leave you a plushy, big enough that you can hug it close
"Maybe this plushy will help :]" gives you his favourite plushy :(
He'll overall check up on you a lot, and really tried his best to help you out
I need a sweet boy like niki 😭
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Hello! Thankyou for reading! Hope y'all are okay and remember that periods only last about a week! You got it!! For anyone who get cramps, I hope they're not as bad or get better :)
Lyyyy <333
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latoyalestrange · 1 year
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princess
s. sallow x f!reader
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summary: after winning the first challenge of the triwizard tournament, sebastian asks you to accompany him to the yule ball, of course. he's not sure if it's the twinkling lights, the romantic music, or maybe just your presence, but something has his eyes twinkling and his heart beating out of his chest. he simply can't help it. he needs to tell you how he feels, and fast, before he bursts at the seams with infatuation.
words: 630
warnings: fluff, smut, word vomit, language, aged up seb and mc, minors dni! not edited!
ps i hate the way they decorate the yule ball in the movies. why is so bright? and so...blue? balls should be warm and comfy for good time vibes!!
he'd asked garreth to bewitch some fireworks to spell out your name and set them off in the courtyard during free period. he had a speech prepared, but he ditched it at the last second when he laid eyes on you. seeing your excitement, he felt like you deserved much more than a poem he was half-satisfied with. he already thought the fireworks weren't enough, just a fraction of his love for you put on display. if he could, he would have a choir of thousands sing for you, flower petals falling from the sky to imitate your favorite tree, and the quidditch team writing in the clouds with their brooms.
since he couldn't do that, he settled for cutting a deal with his petty enemy. he had to pay for the fireworks, garreth's "labor fee's" for bewitching them, and he had to do garreth's charms essay for him. not only that, but he had to deal with garreth's relentless teasing. in the end, he decided it was worth it. in fact, he decided he would do it ten times over, for you.
after he'd gotten you to say yes, he was left with even more problems. he wanted to buy new attire, something that his family didn't get for him. he needed to buy your dress too, of course, it would be ungentlemanly of him not too. god, he needed to get you flowers! and a matching bit for your wrist and his lapel, whatever they were called.
but the day of, christmas day, he swore made everything worth it. witnessing you walk down the grand staircase with your hair done to perfection, your skin glowing in the candlelight, and the dress he picked out for you fitting you in just the right places made him feel...different.
he wasn't a boy in his seventh year at hogwarts with his schoolgirl crush, he was a man with his woman. he knew in that moment that it wasn't temporary. he wanted this, he wanted you for all eternity and so much more. he wanted you to bare his children one day, as soon as possible, preferably.
"i love you."
he just had to say it. he physically felt like he couldn't go another minute without confessing. the weight on his chest remained, however, until you smiled brightly back at him as you reached the bottom of the stairs.
"i love you too. shall we?" he linked his arm with yours and led you through the doorway of the ballroom.
most of his evening was spent just looking at you, either from afar or during conversation. he always prayed he knew the moves to the next song so you could keep dancing. what better way to show everyone that you're his than dancing with him all night? not that they didn't already get the hint from the blasting fireworks and the very public profession of love he gave. but it didn't hurt to remind them, right?
and when the night came to a close, he would remind you of the same thing. he would lay you down, and talk you through it.
"doing so good f'me"
"so pretty when you moan, baby"
and when you were close,
"that's it, darling, let it out"
then he'd kiss you to muffle your cries as he started chasing his own release.
"i know, i know. you're taking it so good f'me"
he'd have to bite your shoulder, but even that felt good since you were still buzzing. he'd kiss the skin after though, and clean you up. he even gets you a glass of water without you having to ask. and he'll tell you again,
"i love you."
and you'll say,
"i love you too." because you do. you truly, truly do.
reblog if you made it to the end!
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