#i know everyone gifs this episode all the time BUT hear me out *runs away* | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

maximumkillshot · 5 months

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I Can't Lose You-Part 8

Warnings: Depressed Seungmin, Nightmares, Descriptions of Grief, Mentions of a Suicide Flag being raised, Sadness, If I missed any lemme know.

Pairing: BangChan x Reader

Characters: Stray Kids, Nurse, Reader, Dr.Yun

A/N: Hello Everyone we are back on the main storyline! Have fun I guess? Still sorry... so so so sososososoooso sorry.

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Once it was clear that you were out for the count, everyone started falling asleep one by one. No one was willing to leave just yet. They wanted to make sure you knew that no one was leaving you. Eventually, it was just Seungmin and Bin who were awake. Seungmin noticed that Bin’s eyes started drooping, “Go to sleep, Hyung. I’ll stay up in case she wakes up.” He petted your hair back, making sure you were comfortable.

“If she needs me.” Bin looked down at you, worried…

“You will be the first person I wake up, okay?” Seungmin made a face, it was gentle yet insistent. He was going to get Bin to sleep whether he wanted to or not. It wasn’t up for discussion. Elder or not, Seungmin knows that he has been through hell, and even now Bin is fixed on you. He can see it. Bin is doing his best to piece together the shards left over.

Bin looked up at Seungmin and said, “Thank you. I know it’s not easy, knew you were close with her, thank you for staying strong.” Bin wanted to say a hundred more things. He’s observant, Bin saw the way he looked at you. He also saw the tearstains on Seungmin’s face. The pain was written in his features as he looked at you. He noticed when Seungmin went to touch you for the first time after the episode, to lean forward and kiss your forehead, it was less of reassurance and more of a mutual pain. He couldn’t pinpoint the feeling at the time. All he knew was there was a lot that he didn’t know.

Seungmin just said, “We are all close to her. Not nearly as close as you. You need rest, Hyung. Don’t worry, I got it.” Seungmin was the only one awake for a few hours as everyone slept. He was looking at his mail order account, deleting all of the future purchases that would’ve been made as a surprise for the baby. He had everything in either pink, blue, or yellow.

He stopped for a minute at the toy elephant that you gushed over one time at a mall, you loved the texture and you couldn’t get over the cute floppy ears on it. It was the first thing he saved on his list. He moved on to the educational toys that you had to have, the toy rings, and the play mats.

The one that really got him was the blankets with the month countdown to one year. He could see it in his head, you excitedly laying the baby down on it and taking a picture for social media, you circling the month during the editing of the photo.

While Minho is great at visualization, Seungmin is great at audiation, he can imagine sounds without them being present in the environment. Seungmin could hear you chirping at him, “Look at him, Minnie! Look at your cute little nephew Chanseung! I can't believe the time is flying by so fast! Who is that? That’s Uncle Minnie!” He smiled at the sound that he’d never hear. He stared at that blanket for a while, before forcing himself to delete it.

He could feel the tears running down his face, seeing the empty list. He looked up to you, and he whispered to himself, “I want to take the pain away. The hurt, I don’t know how, Birdie.” He pulled the blanket up a little higher up your back, making sure you were covered, and sheltered.

He started filling it back up, searching “how to help someone cope with miscarriage..” He hit search and books started popping up. He read some reviews and settled on three, “What Could Have Been: Helping Her Through Misscarriage”, “Grief and Loss: Learning How to Cope with Misscarriage”, and “Up Above: Journal For Mom To A Baby In Heaven”.

Then he searched, “Coping With Miscarriage As A Family.” Once again he read the reviews, settling on, “Staying Strong: Coping as A Family”, “It Takes A Village: Grief And Family”, and finally, “Stronger Together: Surviving Miscarriage as a Family”.

He also looked up, “Memento for Miscarriage.” And a unisex bracelet popped up, it had a little charm on it of a sun. He decided to get 7 of them. The one he got for you was different. It was a 14k gold bracelet with a charm of a pair of baby feet. There was a plate on the bracelet that could be engraved with anything, so he took a picture of the wavelength of the baby’s heartbeat from the ultrasound and uploaded it. He didn’t want to acknowledge Chan in this but also, the baby was his. He found a stainless steel bracelet with a thicker band, something that he’d wear. He did the same with his bracelet as well, uploading the heartbeat.

Seungmin couldn’t get what you screamed at Chan out of his head. The baby was right there, in your belly. He couldn’t help the fact that he knew what you were talking about. Seungmin was there for it all so for Chris to say, “It was mine too,” was a slap in the face. He wasn’t there. That was when Seungmin realized something. Chan started fucking Soo two months ago… You found out you were pregnant two months ago. The entire time you knew you were pregnant, planning for him, still cooking for him, doing everything in your power to surprise him, and carrying his child on top of that. Meanwhile, he was busy fucking his side piece. He was so busy in fact that he didn’t even realize that you wore baggier clothes, slept more, and avoided some of your favorite foods like the plague. At this point, Chan was more sperm donor than father, but Seungmin still felt that the baby was here, in a way, he felt like he needed to remind everyone because they weren’t able to know the baby the way that he did.

Seungmin was in a depression, he could feel it starting, not because of you. He was so depressed because Minho was right. Seungmin looked up to Chan. He never had an older brother, and Chan was that for him. Annoying him any chance he got, giving him advice, and being a role model through and through. He didn’t know what was happening to you in your marriage at all until Felix and Minho kept disappearing every weekend to spend time with you. He told himself that you knew what you were getting into. It was only when he got closer and started spending so much time with you that he learned that Chan promised you so many things, and didn’t hold up on his end. He promised to be home a a decent time, some nights he didn’t even show up at home. He promised he’d take Sundays off when he isn’t touring, he never did take them off at all.

As he thought about this, he heard the door open. He could see multiple pairs of feet in the shadows on the ground. A small woman walked in with a clipboard and a doctor’s coat along with the nurse. The nurse already knew most of what was going on, the overnight doctor briefing her on the delicate nature of the situation.

The nurse came closer to Seungmin as she whispered, “Is she still resting well?”

Seungmin nodded. He looked over to the bed seeing Bin’s hand buried in your hair, his lips close enough to kiss your head, his other hand over yours on his chest. Seungmin smiled at that, reminding himself he’d need to get a picture of this.

The nurse said, “Is there any way we can speak to you in the hall?”

Again, Seungmin nodded. He whispered, “Let me wake someone, I don’t want her to panic if she wakes up and I’m missing.”

The nurse nodded with a smile as Seungmin tried to make a decision on who he’d wake. He decided on Hyunjin, as out of everyone, he was able to sleep a little in the car. Seungmin walked through the minefield of members over to Hyunjin, who had Lix using his leg as a pillow. “Hyunjin wake up, the nurse wants to speak to me outside, if Hannie wakes up he can meet us in the hall, otherwise let him sleep.” Hyunjin nodded as he wiped his eyes. When Seungmin stepped out into the hall the nurse introduced the petite woman as Dr.Yun, she was the attending psychiatrist in charge of your case.

Seungmin’s eyebrows dipped, “Psychiatrist?”

The doctor looked and said, “Yes I think it’s better if we talk in the consult room, more private that way.” Seungmin nodded, shooting Hyunjin a text about where he’ll be at.

As soon as the door closed, the doctor started, “Do you know why I am here?”

Seungmin nodded. He knew why. He didn’t want to say it out loud though. “I know why you’re here. I just thought they’d do this sort of thing outpatient.”

The doctor sat down with him, “Usually that is the case, but Y/N raised a suicide risk flag by her expressing her want to die.”

He nodded, in his head he was thinking, if you only knew what she had gone through, you’d understand why she said that. Instead, he went with, “What would you like to know? I want to help.” If Seungmin was being honest, he rarely ever met a situation that he didn’t prepare for. Except for last night. He didn’t know what to do and if he didn’t know, he wasn’t comfortable with you going in there. So when he saw you get up he wanted to scream to you that you didn’t need to do this. Another thing that he knew was… you did. You have never seen a problem and not faced it right then and there. You have always been the type of person to tackle it. So him asking you not to do that, would have been out of the question.

Just thinking about it gave him chills, where everyone would run away… you ran towards. Even if your brain had every cell of your body screaming to run away… you always ran towards. That was one of the things that he admired most about you. You’re brave. So when he saw you, the fear in your eyes, it rocked him. You were staring into his soul saying that you, the fearless one, were scared. But you weren’t scared of anything… other than losing him. Of waking up, and never seeing him again. The fear was deafening in your voice. Barely above a whisper, tears spilling onto Bin’s chest.

She started off with, “How was she before this?”

Seungmin’s face fell as he recalled all of the moments he shared with you before last night, “Happy. Excited. Hopeful. The opposite of who you know.” Seungmin looked at the nurse. The nurse’s face dropped a little. Anyone who looked at Seungmin could tell he was in shambles, if they looked at any of the boys, they could tell that. That’s why no one was forcing those 7 boys away from you. It was clear you needed them and even clearer that they needed you.

The doctor continued, “The notes in her chart say that she miscarried due to a trauma, do you know the specifics?”

“Yes, I do.” He said. The doctor waited for him to continue, “She walked in on her husband cheating on her with her best friend on their third anniversary.”

Seungmin couldn’t help but think that Bin would’ve never let you go a night alone let alone your third anniversary. “All of the people in that room were there. The man on the bed, Bin, told us all to meet at the house, that her husband, his ex-best friend, never showed up to the anniversary dinner. He didn’t have a good feeling about it. We all walked in on it. She just sat on the couch, staring at a photo of them on their wedding day, while she heard him saying the most disgusting things, how her friend was so much better than her, how good she made him feel, how he couldn’t wait to leave her. It broke her. Broke all of us.” Seungmin was staring at his hands by the end of it, imagining if he had a wife, that he could never do that.

“I see. Did anyone know about the baby?” She asked as if reading Seungmin’s mind.

“I did.” He started breaking, hearing the heartbeat again. Your teary reaction playing on repeat in his head. You were so nervous, excited, and curious. All of the things that raced through your mind could be read all over your face that day. The minute you saw that little bean, that baby, tears sprang to your eyes, once you heard that heartbeat, you were already more in love than you could ever describe. It made Seungmin cry. A life was right there, and he was hearing it. He couldn’t wait to tell your child this story. “I figured it out before she did.”

“Do you think that she needs help coping? We have plenty of resources and we’d be more than happy to-”

“Yes. She’s going to need all of the help she can get. She went from being pregnant and being in a happy marriage, to losing her baby, her husband, and her best friend in less than 24 hours.” Seungmin answered honestly. Your entire life was ripped apart. All because of two people who didn’t deserve your time and energy. To think that those people he would’ve trusted with children of his own. Instead, they showed their true colors at the worst possible time. The question almost annoyed Seungmin. Was the doctor not listening to what he just said? He thought in his head, my friend… The only other person who knew about this baby 48 hours ago… Just lost everything and this doctor’s question is ‘Will she need help’? NO FUCKING SHIT SHE NEEDS HELP… we all need help. None of us know how the fuck to help her. We are all destroyed, I am in turmoil, she will never be the same… HOW DO YOU EVEN HAVE A DEGREE LET ALONE A DOCTORATE?! Minnie knew it was misplaced anger. He took a cleansing breath as he looked up at the doctor.

“Will it need to be inpatient?” She asked.

“If she has us, no. If you leave her to her own devices, she won’t make it. He was all she had, well thought she had. We were all friends with her husband first. She’s terrified that we’ll leave her. We will never leave her.” Seungmin added.

“Is there anywhere she can go? Going back to her home with her husband can make everything worse.” The doctor stated.

Seungmin nodded and said, “We’ll figure all of that out, don’t worry about that. How do we help her?” the tears started rolling, “I as well as everyone else in that room feels so helpless, she is the sweetest person we know. We need to help her, how?” His tears right now are from frustration.

The doctor looked at Seungmin, “Communication is key. She may not want to communicate right away, that’s normal. She also needs to take the medicine we prescribe, she may not want to take it as well. It’s tricky because many women who miscarry have guilt. They feel like they failed, like they don’t deserve to be alive. You need to constantly remind her that what happened wasn’t her fault. Her body went through severe trauma. Remind her that she is worthy of breathing, smiling, laughing, enjoying life.”

Seungmin looked at the doctor, “Okay. Would you need to talk to her?” Seungmin asked, “So far whenever she tries to go back, she has to be sedated, her heart can’t take it.”

The doctor thought for a minute and said, “I’m still going to have to talk to her before discharge,”

“Is there any way you could let her sleep for a while? She's so exhausted.”

The doctor nodded and said, “I’ll be back tomorrow so she'll have more time to regulate. Thank you for taking the time to talk, I know that it can be hard to talk about things like this but what you told me gave me some valuable insight into what happened.”

Seungmin walked back to the room as he tried to think of a way to keep you close and at the same time, give you the space you needed to heal.

When he sat back down with Hyunjin he texted him.

“Hyunjin, the psychiatrist just came in. I told her what happened.”

Hyunjin looked at his phone and read it. Seconds later he started typing, “My guess is that they heard Y/N that she wanted to die.”

Seungmin immediately replied, “Yeah. They said that after they talk to her it’s recommended that she doesn’t go back to the house. That it’ll make everything worse. I’m trying to figure out how to do this. I don’t want Chan anywhere near her.”

Hyunjin’s face turned hard, “At this point, I don’t want to be there, either. He’s toxic. I feel sick thinking that he was our friend. I had no clue she was going through all of this. He’s so toxic.”

Seungmin thought for a minute, “Wherever she’s going I think Felix, Minho, Bin, and Hannie should be with her.”

Hyunjin nodded, “Maybe an apartment? Or switching houses. I think she may want someplace familiar.”

Seungmin said “When she gets up we should ask her. They never told me when they were thinking of discharging her.”

Hyunjin shook his head, “No, she just went through an episode, making her make a decision right after sedation isn’t a good idea. Maybe ask Bin??”

Seungmin smiled, “Yeah that’s a good idea. For now, they all need rest. You included. Thanks for staying up for me.”

Hyunjin just went back to sleep after nodding at Seungmin. It wasn’t lost on Hyunjin that Seungmin was clearly distraught in that hallway. He knew that now wasn’t the time. Maybe when things calmed down. When everyone was feeling less tense, Hyunjin could reapproach.

After a few hours, people started slowly waking up until everyone was lucid, be it from hunger, or eventually hearing the mumbles of others. The nurses would pop in occasionally, giving whatever they could to help you and the boys. A little into most being awake except for yourself and Bin, you started mumbling. Han looked at the clock. His gaze shot to his phone, it was almost time for your next anxiety medication. They warned him that sometimes nearing the next dose, your anxiety would kick back up, and he told everyone to quiet down for a second. He wanted to make sure you weren’t in any distress.

He noticed you started to mumble, “Chris, my boys… where… my boys…Binnie…” All of the boys looked like the only thing they wanted to do was wake you. The nurses advised Han, however, that the best way to wake you was not in the middle of the nightmare, you’d probably remember it, and usually that only compounds the trauma. So all he could really do was watch. You gripped Bin’s hoodie and he woke up immediately, his eyes snapping to you. He woke up to hear your mumbles, “Chris…. Not…not my boys… please..” He saw you start to cry in your sleep.

He whispered, “We’re here Angel, not going anywhere it’s okay.”

You started shaking, “Where… Binnie… don’t take… from me. Chris please…my boys…help…”

Bin couldn’t see any more of this. He started to pet your hair a little more intently, as he directed Han to get the nurse. Then he started raising his volume a little bit, “Angel… wake up for me… Angel… Y/N…” He started lightly jostling you as he squeezed your hand under his lightly, “Angel it’s a nightmare, wake up… Y/N…”

Finally, your eyes snapped open as you squeezed him, “Binnie… Chris took you away… Took all of you away…”

“Shhhh shhhhh it’s okay, it was a nightmare, we’re here. It’s okay.”

“He took my boys away,” Your eyes were glassy, pupils dilated as you registered where you were. You looked around and Seungmin came up to pet your hair.

“Hi Birdie, it’s okay. It’s alright. You’re okay, we’re all here. Hannie is getting the nurse, okay?”

Seungmin could see your body shaking slightly, he got down to your level again and held your hand while Bin kept rubbing your back.

You looked at Seungmin and started tearing up again, “you didn’t leave?” He wiped your tears and said, “Why would I? You're here. I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” He smiled at you, “Just breathe Birdie… you’re okay.”

He could tell you wanted him closer, “Do you want to lay on me? Would that help, Birdie?”

You couldn’t really talk but you nodded, then he looked to Bin and said, “Okay beat it Seo, she wants me now…” Making you giggle a little. Bin looked at you and reluctantly let go with a kiss on your head.

Once again, Seungmin is in no way shape, or form known for skinship but there he was lying so content next to you. Everyone has no idea what is going on. Lix looked to Seungmin and was very skeptical as he said, “O… okay I want to cuddle at home and he’s all ‘I need my personal space’ but if it’s Y/N… I got it Kim Seungmin… You’re lucky I’m not the jealous type.”

Minho piped up with “You are the jealous type.” with a scoff and Lix fired back with, “Good point…. What does Y/N have Seungmin? Huh? I have long hair and cute freckles, I’m adorable. So what is it?”

Seungmin just looked at you and whispered “Watch this…” Then he addressed Lix, “Easy you’re not Birdie.” That made you giggle a little more. You still shook but you were coming out of it a little.

Lix said, “I’m a bird, you don’t know Bbokari? I am even cuter I’m a baby chick…”

Seungmin nudged your back so Lix didn’t see it and he said, “You also commit cannibalism…” He narrowed his eyes as you started to laugh. Felix looked down at you and smirked as Seungmin said, “And Birdie is way cuter than you, Lix.” His jaw dropped, bright like that and Seungmin copied his expression.

“I mean you’re right but why come for my throat like that?” He fake scoweled at him as he sat back down, playfully turning his back to Seungmin, “uncalled for…”

Once again Minho acted disinterested as he deadpanned, “I mean he is right Yongbok-ah.”

Then Felix said, “You too?!” And you laughed even harder.

Felix looked at you and said, “Flower, am I cute?” He asked with a fake quiver on his lip. Felix’s nickname for you was Flower. The reason for it is one of his favorite memories with you. Felix and you are really the only two people out of everyone who actually stop to take in the surroundings around you. There was one time you got so excited when you found a pretty flower blooming on a tree while you both were out on a walk. He literally heard a squeak and then you were darting toward a tree. When he looked in the direction you darted in you were trying to jump to grab one of the flowers on its branches.

He walked over to you, and still, no matter how high you jumped, you couldn’t reach it. He giggled to himself as he said, “Which one are you aiming for Y/N?”

You said “The one on the tip of that branch.” It was a good jump away for you. But you weren’t a dancer with years of Taekwondo training.

He smirked as he said, “Okay jumping bean stand back.” You did and in one leap he snatched the flower off the branch. He walked over to you and put it in your hair. “I can’t decide which flower is more pretty.” He took a picture of you and said, “Hm this one,” He booped your nose and showed you the picture, “See?” You giggled and thanked him and you both kept on walking, since then that’s been your contact photo, the name it’s saved under being Flower.

“Of course you are, Lixie!” you answered.

“Oh thank god, Flower doesn’t lie so I’m good.” He grabbed his chest, as he slunk down.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin took Bin to the hall to talk.

He started off with.“Seungmin talked to the Psychiatrist. He told her the gist of the situation, and she said that after she talked to Y/N, she’d be discharged. They recommended that she doesn’t enter the house. At least not yet. It’s too big of a stress on her.”

“Ok, I figured that,” Bin said nodding as he carded his hand through his hair, thinking.

Hyunjin continued, “He talked with me and we wanted to know what you thought. Maybe you and Hannie switching houses with Seungmin and someone else if she wants somewhere familiar. If she wants her own place, maybe an apartment where you and Hannie, Lix, and Minho go with her. We figured you four wouldn’t want to leave her side either way.”

“Yeah, I’m not leaving her anywhere. Hmm. She’s too fragile to ask this question right now. Do we have a timeframe of when they are looking to discharge her?”

“No not really,” Hyunjin said.

“Okay, can you find that out for me? At least an estimation, I want to give her as much time as possible to be somewhat calmer. If she can’t make a decision I’ll take her somewhere with me, get her away where she can process a little. Thanks, Hyunjin.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” Hyunjin said. When both of them went back inside they walked in on you starting to look a little more yourself. You were looking around and then looked at Bin.

“Hello Angel, how are you feeling?” Bin asked.

“M’good… But I want something.” You looked guilty which made him laugh.

“Let me guess….” He looked intently at you thinking…. “Hmmmm… you hungry?”

You nodded your head, “But not just anything…” You trailed off.

Seungmin knew that face… You have a craving. He’s thinking about how he is going to get you what you want without causing suspicion. Lately, it’s been for Felix’s brownies. There were a lot of questions he had to answer and luckily he knew exactly how to answer them.

Bin’s face scrunched up, “Craving?” he asked.

You nodded. The suspense is killing Seungmin, they could’ve been halfway to the car by now. “Let me guess,” Seungmin said.

Everyone looked at him, “Felix’s Brownies?”

You nodded at Seungmin. You weren’t panicking or anything. You have full confidence that he would protect your privacy.

Minho could tell something as he said, “How did you know that, Kim Seungmin?” He had a quizzical look about him as Seungmin smirked.

“Listen I know exactly how addicting those things are, they are the reason why I got yelled at by management before last comeback. I also know that she loves chocolate, so put two and two together.” Seungmin smirked.

“Ok…. so why are they at her house and not ours?” Minho asked, grinning like a cat that got the cream.

“You tell me what’ll survive longer at our house, Minho… Chicken shakes or Brownies?” He smirked eyes narrowing.

Minho said nothing and Seungmin said, “Exactly… My brownie stash is at their place, they had a better chance of surviving there, especially with Hyunjin’s bottomless pit of a stomach. All Birdie asked was that I brought a sacrificial pan for her.” He is lying through his teeth right now. All three were for you and he happily let you eat all of it in front of him, knowing you were probably lacking Magnesium. Of course, he wasn’t reckless, he’d check your sugar levels and would walk with you to keep them down.

Felix laughed as he said, “That’s why you had me bake five of them and only two were in the house the next day??”

Seungmin nodded, “Speaking of.” he thought for a second as he said, “We are down to how many, Birdie?”

You looked up at him and said, “Ok so first…. Did I mention you are so loved by me and your friendship means the WORLD to me…”

“Birdie? Out with it.”

“Half a pan, Minnie.” Seungmin’s jaw dropped, again, at completely known information already. He should get a performance award or something. “I have a weakness for delicious deserts and I am not above admitting that, can you go by the house and get it, Minnie?” Bin couldn’t find it in himself not to coo at you.

“You are so adorable it’s criminal. I can’t handle you.” He said absentmindedly as his shoulders slumped in acceptance.

“Am I so adorable that you’ll go with Minnie to get it?” You smiled wide, as if to make yourself more cute, not that you could to Binnie.

“Angel… I’m not comfortable leaving you...” Bin said.

“I knoooooooow but I’m really craving it. Please, Binnie” You did the cute eyes, the jutting lip… the same exact look that made his stomach do summersaults and his heart explode since he’s met you.

“Yah Angel, with the face, and the…” he took in a lungful of air. “Fiiiiiine fine fine. Okay, I’ll go, okay. Because you asked.”

You smiled at him and said, “Thank you thank you thank you!!”

The whole ride was not too bad, passed in silence mostly. Bin was gearing himself up to be in that house again. He’s learned a lot about Chan, the thing above all is to stay calm. He’s just wondering if that is even a possibility at this point. Just seeing him makes Bin want to put Chris’ face through the nearest brick wall. Yes, he knows it’ll take multiple times to get his head through it, and if there is one thing he knows, the wall will win, but Bin was damn sure going to try.

When they parked Bin was the first to say, “We go in… we get the snacks and we leave.” He said it more for himself than anything. As he opened the door he saw Chris which didn’t surprise him, being on the phone did.

He smirked up at Bin as he said, “Of course I didn’t mean it, I love you, Baby, you know that.”

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theflagscene · 6 months

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The hand rubbing scene is the gayest sex scene GMMtv has ever had on screen, allow me to explain to you why.

Gifs by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Now I can’t speak as someone who is completely blind (obviously) but I can speak as someone who has been progressively losing their sight for the past 15 years - ironically enough from a car accident. Why hello Day, I see you! (pun intended) But I’m also a person who grew up HoH (hard of hearing) from the age of two years old onward, I had tubes put in my ears, wore hearing aids, the whole shebang. The chances of me actually regaining my ability to hear completely was very very slim, the fact that I did actually end up regaining some - not all - of my hearing by my late twenties was a damn shock to us all. The point being, when you are a person who’s lost one of your senses that you are used to having, your body starts to overcompensate.

Most everyone has heard/read/seen things about how removing one sense can lead to your other ones becoming stronger. There’s even been studies that show people born deaf or deafened at a very young age, that their brain starts to rewire itself to allow them to experience sound in a visual way, via touch. It’s sort of like how blind people learn to read braille in a way, the touch creates a picture in your mind allowing you to see the way that word looks and sounds and feels. Theres a whole bit in Scientific America you can check out if you want that breaks it down in layman terms without the writing acting like you’re stupid, which is always nice when it comes to medical jargon lol.

So my point that to Day, his sense of touch is not only in overdrive because it like much of the rest of his senses - smell seems to be a big one they’re leading with - are scambling to try and overcompensate for the sudden lack of sight that is getting worse as time passes. But because he had pulled away from basically the entire world post blindness setting in, spending the last year of his life in his room hardly interacting with anyone, his own mother and brother barely being allowed to touch him. That for Day, his sense of touch is absolutely frantic. Which is why it’s so important for Mhok to constantly place his hands on him, not only to help lead him back into the world but to allow Day to recognize him by touch alone. And it’s being shown that he is, Day already knows Mhok’s voice and it’s touched a bit on the way he smells (ciggs) but this last episode is really starting to show how the touch of people is starting to fully affect Day, especially when he’s out of the house and how Mhok is instantly recognized even though he always follows up his touch with a vocal confirmation that it is in fact him that is touching Day.

So that hand stroking scene, the way Mhok runs the pads of his fingers gently up the centre of Day’s palm, how he strokes the back of his hand like it’s a kitten. That right there could genuinely feel like sex to Day, if not sexual in manner at the very least. The fuzzy look Day gets in his eyes, going from blank, to blissful to bashful and then finally awkward. It wasn’t just because of the fact that the dude he lowkey is starting to have a crush on is rubbing his hand in what I’m seeing being called a ‘weirdly intimate way’. It’s because Day’s body and brain is reacting to that touch in a way that people with all five senses might not completely comprehend, imagine your most intense erogenous zone (btw the palms of the hands are occasionally considered one) now imagine if that intensity was ramped up by ten, or twenty or even fifty and then imagine that that erogenous zone was suddenly everywhere. The most innocuous part of your body could bring you the most incredible sensations, both sexual and emotional, that’s what Day is feeling.

Mhok, now Mhok, he’s not stupid. Far from it in fact, he’s clued in on that not only is Day queer but also that he has a bit of a crush on him. Mhok has also quickly adapted to how he needs to teach Day to see the world in a new way, hence all the touching and smelling and reinforcement that Day can in fact do things for himself, including asking for help when he needs it. So Mhok knew exactly what he was doing with the hand rubbing, sort of. Did he know the sensation would be heightened, my best bet is totally. But did he expect to have his reaction to it go beyond that of teasing? Given his own bashfulness, doubtful. When you’re dating someone with a loss of one or many senses, you tend to change your own preconceived notions of what intimacy with your partner is. For some people offering a foot rub to their partner is a clear come on, an offer for something to lead to more. But for a blind person, especially a newly blind person like Day. They use their hands to navigate their entire world - you literally read with your fingers - so a blind persons hands are basically their most important tools in a lot of ways. To have someone touch your hands with such care, such reverence, it’s not just intimate, it’s full on foreplay.

Mhok wasn’t just touching Day, he was touching Day. It was meant to be seen as intimate because it was intimate, so intimate, in a way I don’t think either Mhok nor Day were expecting it to be because neither had ever experienced something like that before. That scene was truly the beginning of their relationship shifting, that hand scene was kind of like their first kiss.

Gifs by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

#last twilight the series #mhokday #morkday #jimmysea #nontraditional intimacy #for real tho #JimmySea played that scene so freaking well #this entire show makes me happy #to have some sort of queer representation that I connect with so well #like Day I totally get you bb #also sorry for yanking your gifs Wanderlust #hope you don’t mind :)

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bowieandqueen11 · 2 years

Text

Dating Dream of the Endless Would Include...

Thank you all so much for being so sweet about my last two Dream headcanons, here are the dating ones to complete the set (and also the longest ones)!

Also shock horror I know, but I still have about three episodes of the show left so sorry if this is suddenly very out of character lmao I just love him to the moon and back my petty king

This got much longer than I thought it would oops, so any and all comments are much appreciated!! Thank you ily guys I hope you liked my silly similes lmaoooo

(I do not own the Sandman or its characters, all rights go to creators. Gif credit goes to @thekingofkawaii.)

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°

Since people seem to love these opening sentences so much and I adore writing them lmao... Dream you pathetic ass cape draping eyeliner scrungle of a wet hissing cat, living for the drama dumbass with the smile of a brick I literally love you in every single way you are impeccable. He’s so stupid bless I want to bonk him with a baguette and give him a big ‘ol hug until he awkwardly shoves me off and mopes away. Well guess what sir, this time you are NOT running away from your feelings you’re happy and in love now biss so guess what you’re getting ALL the fluff ‘cause it’s what y’all deserve.

Dream introduced you to everyone as fellow ruler of his realm pretty much straight after your first kiss (my man intense). As soon as he took you by the hand and led you back to the throne room, his hands settled on your shoulders and turned you to face the erratic shards of the stained glass windows. ‘Everything I have’, you feel him whisper against your ear as soft as mist, ‘everything I am... it is also yours.’ He reaches round to tilt your cheek up, until the back of your head is flush against his chest and he’s able to run his finger down the curve of your neck. ‘If you so wish. I will be yours forever... in both dreams and the waking world. Wherever you need me, or want me. I will be there.’

To be completely honest, too many times he’s been afraid that you’ve still left him, so overwhelmed by everything. All that panic twisting in his gut, only to find you talking over Rose Walker’s dream journal in the library. You’re standing near ear to ear with Lucienne, the two of you bumping fingers and pouring over the contents to understand where exactly her poor brother is, the whole time Mervyn yapping at your side. I mean, they all adore you from the get go: they’ve seen over the last few decades how the mere thought of you has been the only thing stopping Morpheus from spiralling too far into despair. As soon as your feet stepped down onto the whirling sand, you were marked as a pretty integral part of the dreaming, human or not.

Plus, all the ravens that you’ve found encroaching on your roof and landing to hop on your shoulders in the waking world finally make sense. Lucienne was under strict orders to keep an eye on you, to make sure you were safe at all times.

Or you’ll wander off, and Dream will come sauntering away from the palace and down the winding path towards the House of Secrets, knowing from instinct that it’s where he'll find you. That same tide tugs him forwards forward into the suffocating mists, until he emerges in front of a pile of crumbling dirt and sees your smile alight the dusk, as piercing and ruinous as the sun. Goldie is perched upon your shoulder, squawking and sneezing into your eyes from time to time. You just laugh, and the sound is enough to double Dream over in grievous endearment. Abel is sitting by your right, still half-leaning in the pit as he giggles and continues his wild story about the King of Dreams from long ago. You turn around only when you hear a rare chuckle, finally spotting Dream standing with his eyes crossed behind you, and an amused eyebrow raised at you and your friends’ antics.

You expect him to ask you to leave, or to at least lead you inside, but to your surprise he sweeps his coat behind him and takes a seat on the squishing dirt beside you. He doesn’t settle until he feels his knee rest against your own, doesn’t feel comfortable while Abel continues spouting his story, until you take his hand and cradle it in your lap. It’s cold, almost contorted like the first dawn’s mist against your skin, but even now it shakes in your hold. It almost makes you laugh: the mystical, awe-striking, beyond marvel King of Dreams so terrified of loving you that he’s shaking like a barn mouse hiding from the overwhelming world around it. The same man who had spent over one hundred years locked like a Greek statue behind solid glass, only to be finally brought to his knees by the one thing he could never escape: his soul’s serendipity.

Eventually the clouds begin to roll over the stars, as if the sky’s painter had thrown buckets of brown paint over her canvas and left the streaks of ribbed sand to sparkle across the gloominess. Yet the King of Dreams just sits there, still as stone, not even daring to look down at you despite how much fondness tugs him too. Sometime during the night your head has fallen against his shoulder and you’ve fallen asleep against the warmth of his coat. He doesn’t want to move you, until eventually he leans down to kiss your head. He joins you in some of the sweetest dreams he can muster: the two of you lounging out amidst a field of flowers on the eve of spring. The firecracker reds and warm sugar plum violets frame his smiling face and the glimmer in his eyes as he lies admits the reeds, gazing up at you. He begrudgingly allows you to weave daisy petals into his hair, after a while of him running after you through the meadows and picking you up, holding you hostage in his arms until you promise not to tell his family about it.

Speaking of, when you eventually get to meet his sister Death, she loves you just as much (or even more) than her brother does straight away!!! She just immediately wraps you up in a big, excited, squealing, full body hug before tugging you off by the arm and leading you off towards the coastal market. She leaves a very confused and huffy Dream to fend for himself for a while, or perhaps gives him the time to visit his old friend Hob at the New Inn. She leads you to her favourite quaint ice cream parlour, where the two of you spend the afternoon sharing a sundae as siblings do, out on the arching thatch seats. Eventually she squints through the sunlight to look at you a little more seriously. ‘That’s the happiest I’ve ever seen my brother, like... ever I think! Thank you. No, seriously, thank you. He’s had enough time to sulk about, it’s good to see him look himself again.’

You and Dream reconvene in the square and spend the rest of the day feeding his treasured pigeons. He keeps looking at you out of the corner of his eyes with that twitching-lip smirk, with all the stars and constellations in the universe burning in them. He tries to be smooth, stealing a pinch of your baguette and throwing the crumbs at you, just to be able to wipe them off. His slender fingers brush over the pulse point on your neck like butterfly wings flitting over the dawning petals of a blooming rose. Then up to your chin, then gliding upwards till they’re hunched, tracing over the outline of your lips. Your heart fizzes as he leans down to kiss you for the first time ever in public, his frame shadowing you, yet bottom lip so welcoming and caressing as he brushes between your own.

Too often has Lucienne walked into the throne room, only to have to clear her throat to try and get Morpheus’ attention. He has his coat wrapped around the two of you like an inky bat like cocoon, sitting together on his throne as you read through the latest census. He stops every so often out of wild amusement when you gasp and point out a new entity. In pride at how well accustomed you’re becoming to his work that he carefully kisses your forehead and leans his own against it.

When it’s raining he’s the type to look confused at first as to why you’re shivering under your jacket and trying to run under London arches. Eventually it finally clocks in his head and he takes his coat off, holding it over your head during the whole journey to your destination, getting soaked himself by the smacking downpour nonchalantly. It’s a kind of second nature, to protect you, that he doesn’t even bat an eyeliner lined eyelid anymore. It’s innate and as natural, easy to him as dreaming.

Sometimes you’ll find Dream skulking around the palace steps like a disgruntled skunk recently kicked out of a bin, still upset after the events with John Dee. Lucienne and Matthew have attempted every possible solution to talk him out of it, but you’re the only one who can bring him back round. The only presence in any realm that feels more like himself than he does. The only one that understand his every idiosyncrasy, every twitch of his face, until you’re sitting by his side as one entity. He’s too stubborn to ever admit it, but he does indeed like it when you trace your pointer finger down the tip of his nose before tapping twice against his lips as if mockingly chiding him. He always peers down above his bottom lashes with wide, almost crossed eyes as he tries to follow you, but it does ground him again. Eventually, without anything even being said, he groans and jumps up to a stand with a ‘thank you, you’re right... of course... my dream’, and then saunters off again as if he owns the catwalk.

He tries to take you out to visit other dreams, even though you’re still terrified of the waters. He slides his fingers between your own, pulling them up to rest above his heart on the docks. He carefully and calmly talks you through everything that’s about to happen, and how he will be in control of every whiff and whim that could occur. He’s still a dramatic ass though, so before he’s even finished counting down to one he’s pulled you off the decking and into the swirling depths. In the darkness, you grasp onto him like a lifeline as he pulls you further down into the macrocosm than you ever thought possible.

It is worth it though... perhaps after a lot of snuggling and apologies from Dream. You end up in the dreams of young Irish man: one who hopes to become a zoologist after his time at university. You get to enjoy a peaceful night in a canopy beneath the stars, lying side by side with Dream as he points out the constellations that swirl gold like koi fish in the grand pond of the sky. He’s still not quite used to physical touch, which is why he seems to start and flinch back when you wind your arm to rest and rub above his abdomen. He’s spent so long... so so long never really getting much attention, or care from his family, so you’ll have to coax him into realising he can trust and relax in your presence. He does eventually let his guard down after a few hours of cuddles, until he eventually slides to sit up and falls dramatically over your knees. It’s the first time he’s ever allowed you to play with his hair, lying there in the darkness as normal lovers set alight do.

I mean, you’re family, right??? Dream begs you to come along to the family get together dinner (mainly so he can have a sparring partner of equal wit and finally get one up on his sibling Desire). He swaps the placards said sibling placed around the fire-lit table so you’re sitting next to him instead of Delirium. Between meals Dream takes your hand under the table and places it on his knee, stroking his thumb over your palm to try and calm himself down. Desire catches wind (thanks to an eagle eyed Despair), and makes some bitter laced remark with a growl of their lips, flick of their hand and sip of their red wine. This ends up with you lunging for him over the candelabra, with Death barely holding you back and Dream leaning back in his seat with a grin so wide on his face he looks like a smug, satisfied cat lmao

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sillygoosealert · 2 months

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So guys don’t be like me please but basically I been neglecting my personal needs and now I cant get out of bed. I feel terrible and then I thought of something (insane right?) what if Bi Han find out reader hasnt been taking care of themselves so he takes a day off to care for them

92jinnies, please pull through for me kitten 💕

To another episode, another day blurs

Bi-han comfort, mental episode

It's been 3 days since you've last brushed your teeth

12 hours since you last up to use the bathroom

And however long since you've last ate

Maybe you won't do anything

Maybe you won't be anyone

Your throat is dry and you can hear yourself blink

The room is dark and smells of cold air

Bi-Han hasn't seen you ever since you crawled into your room and never came out

Well, no one has seen you, but he's worried

He originally thought you ran away or went off

But when looking into your old room, he saw you there

You were just lying there, listening to your breath

He doesn't know what set you off this time, you were fine

But you get like this, where nothing works out and you can't stand to be alive

So you pretend you're not

You don't bathe, you don't eat, you have trouble sleeping at night too

All you can do is exist, but that too seems too much for you

Nothing is easy, but is even harder when you aren't normal

Maybe you look fine, but something is wrong with you

But he knew that when he met you, he knew he had to help you when you couldn't help yourself

So he walks into the room and goes by your side

You motion for him to get into the bed but he just picks you up instead

Carrying you to your shared room

Then he gets on the bed, with you on his lap

He's just cradling you to take in how bad it is this time

He pinches your cheek to see if you will do anything

You hum into him, you can't say anything right now

He starts to undress you, tossing your clothes near the bed

Then you both go into the bathroom, and you get placed into the bath while he runs the water

You put your knees up to your chest and lean your head on them

‘You are tired?’

You hum to that as you yawn

Going back to bed sounds better than anything right now

He scrubs you raw, washing your hair to the best of his abilities

Your hair is tangled and possibly matted, but it could be worse

He rinses you off before putting you on the floor

He dries you off and brings you to the bed

Dressing you in his boxers and shirt

‘Stay put. I am getting you fruit and milk to help give you good nutrients.’

‘Fruit and milk?’

You're giggling, you don't know why

He comes over and scratches your stomach

‘Did you want something else?’

‘I’m not hungry right now, maybe we can eat later..’

‘Oh. When did you last eat?’

‘I don't remember’

You're curled up in the blankets, close to going to bed

‘Then I will get you milk and fruit. Please try to eat when I come back with it.’

‘Okay..’

After he comes back he makes you brush your teeth before eating, then he helps you eat

You're shaking a lot and you don't even realize it

And you have trouble holding the bowl with fruit or drinking the milk

So he holds your chin and slowly tips the milk so you can drink

Then he feeds you pieces of fruit at your own pace

After he brushes out your hair, humming into your neck when he's finished

Picking you up, he rolls around with you in his arms on the bed

Then he lays ontop of you with his head in your neck

‘I am..here for you, even if no one else is’

‘Thank you’

You're crying now

And he lets you

He lets you cry however much you need to

And he doesn't leave you

He doesn't even think about it

It's you and him

If you have 100 supporters he is one of them

If you only have 1 that is him

If everyone was against you he would stay right by your side

You fall asleep in each other's arms

Nothing is wrong

You are at peace

You are fine with being someone

You are okay with living

Then you start a family but while pregnant you are MURDERED by Kuai Liang (you know he would, he was going to kill Frost but Harumi stopped him) and it is now Bi-Han against the world. He's alone again 🎀

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leviathanspain · 11 months

Note

i just saw your guidelines , thank you!! sorry it flew right over my head, i appreciate you for directing me to the page when you responded :D

i have two ideas but you may choose which one interests you the most!! thank you again so much, i love your writing <3

would like a kylo ren x reader please, pronouns can be whatever you'd like but i prefer she/her. the point of view is up to you! i prefer second but i think you prefer third and/or first and i don't mind either or!

the first idea is kylo and y/n have been together for two years but it was kept within the first order and not public because kylo knew people (like the resistance) might use it against him. maybe during a fight between the first order and the resistance on a planet, y/n would get kidnapped by the resistance. this was finn's idea because he knows kylo has a significant other. what the resistance does with y/n is up to you, whether it be to lead kylo into some sort of trap, or to get information out of her, a mix of both... it's all up to you! finn knows that she's his only weakness. eventually kylo will save her. bonus points if she's in rough shape and in bad physical condition. kylo gets really upset because he thinks he’s doing a bad job keeping her safe and that he failed to protect her. angsty , self-loathing kylo but y/n trying to make him feel better.

the other idea has a bit of angst aspects as well but less action. it’s been about half a year or maybe even a year of kylo and y/n dating. everyone knows of his anger issues and tantrums. not even stormtroopers will want to be within 10 feet of him when he’s having an “episode”. the only person who would go up to him is y/n. one time kylo was so upset that he didn’t think before acting. when y/n went to calm him down he hurt her. nothing too physically harming , it hurt more emotionally than it did physically. maybe he yelled at her a lot and said things he didn’t mean , he could do anything. then she gets super upset and runs off to their shared quarters. he ends up finding her crying.

he’s never seen her cry or show weakness before.

you can pick one of the two!! thank you so much again and please , if these topics aren’t interesting , please tell me <3

stargirl

kylo ren x reader

synopsis: in your captivity, all you can think about is him, in love and in hate

a/n: anything in italics is a past memory, and i just combined the two into one, so i hope you like it!!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you had wondered when you’d be interrogated. it was inevitable, you had been through enough war and fighting to know that whenever someone was kidnapped and held captive, they would be interrogated.

you had done it before, multiple times.

you couldn’t say that you hated it. the only dark part of your morality let you love what you’ve done. of course, having the pleased eye of kylo ren staring at you was also the encouragement you needed whenever you felt doubts.

the door had opened unexpectedly, you could hear the woosh, and immediately you closed your eyes in anger, “what is it?” you heard the footsteps of heavy boots, most likely a trooper or a knight.

you turned around and saw the opposing figure of one of the knights of ren. you raised your eyebrow and the knight cleared their throat, “master ren has been acting strange,” again they cleared their throat, anxiety waved off of them, “he’s been..” they trailed off and you inhaled slightly.

the knight exhaled, their shoulders dropping with relief at your reaction. this was nothing new. kylo had his fits of rage or tantrums where he was practically inconsolable.

after working with him so closely and developing more than just a friendship, you were well versed in the game of calming down kylo.

you waved the knight away, “i will be right there.” the knight nodded, gave a respectful bow and walked off.

there was a loud slam against your cell that awoke you. the pathetic excuse for a blanket fell of your shoulders as you sat up, wiping your eyes as you heard the cell door creak open, “let’s go.” a hand came up to your arms and pulled you up onto your feet. you would protest, but you stayed silent, keeping a calm face. but the man’s fingers dug into your arm, making it hard for you not to cry out.

you were hauled out of the cell and practically dragged to another room, nearly as small as the cell, you were pushed inside, made to sit at one of the only two chairs in the room.

you looked around, there was no sign of the rest of the resistance members. perhaps they were hiding their prisoners away from the others, obviously on purpo-

“you can stop trying to figure out where everyone else is.” he was tall, a younger looking man, his face whispered familiarity.

he pulled the chair out opposite of yours and sat down carefully, his eyes grazing over your face. you looked at him, not willing to break eye contact.

he smiled hard, almost menacingly, “isn’t this odd? we’ve met, many times before..i know you, but you don’t know me..” he trailed off, “y/n.”

your name peeked your attention. hardly anyone outside of the order knew your first name. only kylo, a few officers, and the knights knew your true name. but you were always referred to as iza’re, or iza’re ren.

you narrowed your eyes at the man, “get to the point. what do you want from the first order?” you were getting bored, and if this is how it’s going to be, you needed to cut it short.

“you don’t know who i am?” the man looked surprised to see you so nonchalant. as if your true name was supposed to be the key to everything.

you shrugged again, leaning your elbows on the table, you got close to his face, “you say that like i’m supposed to care. i won’t repeat myself again,” you hissed, “what do you want from the first order?”

“get out. all of you!” kylo ren’s anger exhibited itself in his voice, a large hand outstretched itself towards the door, the metal door heaved open with the force and the rest of the troopers filed out, quickly as can be.

fn-2187 stared at kylo ren. even under his mask, he could just imagine his expression. fn-2187 knew that the moment you had walked in, that this wasn’t going to end well.

he followed the rest of the troopers out to the hallway. there was a large window that allowed people to see in, and fn-2187 had walked slow so that he could end up in front of the window.

“you need to calm down.” you had been talking to kylo through the force the entire way here. he was being stubborn, unresponsive to your usual tactics, you realized that maybe this wouldn’t be like other times.

“kylo.” you called his name, his back was turned to you and you were dying in the silence.

“why can’t you ever just stay out of it?” kylo turned around on his heel, the dark fabric of his cape followed him, and he began to stalk towards you, “hmm? why do you always think that you can save the day? you’re pathetic. a pathetic excuse for a force user, a pathetic excuse for a soldier of the first order..” he listed off all your weaknesses in a cruel list, “i cant stand to look at you. you make me fucking sick.” he had stopped you cold against the wall. even just arms length away from you, you could feel the rage, feel the truth to his feelings radiate off of him.

you wanted to cry. right then and there, you wanted to ball yourself up and sob on the floor.

but you scrunched your face slightly, as if not to lose the nerve, “find me when you’re done being an asshole.” you didn’t even look at him as you stalked past him, glancing at the open window towards the troopers, who were all facing away from the window.

except for one.

“what do you mean you ‘think’? we’ve been holding her for days and you’ve been in there for hours, and that’s what you’ve come up with?” poe had been overseeing the interrogation, and it was clear that it was going nowhere.

“threatening to blow up starkiller base would get us somewhere if we actually could.” poe rubbed his face, the feeling of a headache was coming on.

“why can’t we?” finn stared at poe, and poe laughed, realizing that finn was being serious.

“are you sure it’s her? it couldn’t be someone else? another trooper, perhaps?” poe looked at finn, who sighed, “she’s the only one i’ve ever seen that close to ren. it’s gotta be her.”

kylo hadn’t thought to apologize. but you had been ignoring him for days, even going as far as having stormtroopers deliver messages.

he had had enough when he had tried to talk to you through the force, and felt nothing in response.

“are you done?” the sound of the metal door opening had you turning your neck to see kylo ren, helmet off, hair dishelved, stalking in.

he set his helmet down on your dining table and kicked his shoes off, “i asked you something.” he stared down at you, his eyes searching you for something back.

“really?” you come in here after the way you talked to me a few days ago and expect us to be fine?” you looked up from your data log and stood up, “you yelled at me, tore me apart, called me pathetic many times over-“

“i’m sorry.” kylo interrupted you, and his face softened. this was utterly unlike him.

“what?” your own voice sounded distant and you blinked. a hand flew to your chest to feel the beating heart inside, “did you just-“

“yes. i am sorry.” kylo walked over to you, and watched as your face broke, tears spilling as you walked into his arms.

silence and the sounds of your sniffles filled the room. all that you ever wanted from him was an apology, and he had finally done it.

“i swear to you,” kylo broke the silence, the quiet was drowned out by his husky voice, “that i will never do that to you again.”

“and you caught them..?” poe’s eyebrows knitted together with confusion. his pilot uniform jacket hung on the chair beside him, as he paced the room, “let’s rewind,”

finn nodded, and poe sighed, “you were sent down to give her a message,”

“it had something to do with the knights.” finn had tried to remember what exactly the message was about but it had been nearly two years since then.

“and instead kylo ren answered the door?” poe repeated the events and finn nodded. “are you sure it wasn’t his quarters and you’re just an idiot?”

finn’s expression fell and he rolled his eyes, “stormtroopers are supposed to know. it was her quarters, her name was in a blazing plaque outside the door.”

a knock at the door had interrupted you. kylo had stripped off his clothes, leaving only the thick black sweatpants on, but even then, they hung dangerously low on him.

you, on the other hand, barely had anything on.

“fuck.” you cursed, and stuffed whatever shirt you could find off the floor. just by the scent of it, you knew it was kylo’s, but you still shrugged it on. you got off the bed, trying to find some shoes but kylo grabbed your arm, “i’ll get it.”

he was already getting up, and even with your protests, it was too late.

“master ren!” the robotic voice of a trooper met your ears and you cringed. troopers talked, and this was definitely something to talk about. there was an exchange of words between the trooper and kylo, until finally, “you are dismissed, fn-2187.”

“that’s kind of hot, no?” poe had been staring a little too long at the wall, clearly imagining what finn had described.

finn’s face turned into a picture of disgust, “there is something wrong with you.”

“iza’re to starkiller base. iza’re to base, does anyone copy?” you were falling, and fast.

the resistance had been chasing you for almost an hour. you had tried to lose them in some astroid graveyard but they were on your ass, until they shot your ship.

“fuck! someone! iza’re to base!” your hands clutched at the controls as you felt your chest rise and fall with fear.

kylo was right. you should have never gone off alone.

“kylo! im just off the astroid chunks by naboo.” just as you had finished telling your location, the ships power shut off, and you felt yourself blackout as the ship began to fall harder.

kylo had them playback your voice. over and over again.

the fear in your voice had been seared into his mind for days. he had tried to reach you over the force but was met with nothing. the usual thrum of your power would at least let him know you were alive. but he felt sick when he felt nothing.

“and no one heard this until when?” kylo looked around at the table filled with officers and military personnel. they all had this look of stupidity on their faces that made kylo want to knock them all out cold.

“this morning-“ a staff spoke up, “we believe she was taken by the resistance.”

kylo’s hands smashed against the table, “this morning?! find her!” he yelled at the officers. he raised his hands and suddenly they were all clutching at their throats, “find her now or i will murder every single one of you until someone does.”

“she’s loyal.” rey had observed, watching you through the glass, she wondered if you could see them all, gawking at you.

“of course she is. she’s sleeping with the supreme leader of the first order.” poe commented, rolling his eyes slightly, “i say we just lie.”

finn turned towards poe, “didn’t you just say that we shouldn’t lie? you got all mad-“

poe shrugged, “i was a different person then. say that ren is dead, and the first order is ashes-“

“oh like she’ll believe that-“ finn replied sarcastically. he had his hands on his hips and stared at you.

you were looking off into the distance, totally unaware of them on the other side staring at you.

“she’ll know. you said she’s a force user, correct?” rey peered at you and finn nodded, “yes. why?”

“she’ll know we’re lying. she probably also knows that we can see her,” you turned suddenly, meeting their eyes, “-right through this glass..” rey trailed off, and poe whistled lowly.

“wow. this is embarrassing…” poe laughed nervously. finn laughed, patting his friends shoulder as he walked off.

kylo was close. he hadn’t realized until now that it was the distance muffling your power. he could feel you, a quiet thrum in his head, he knew you were close.

“kill anything and everyone. i don’t care- just get her out alive.” his instructions were incredibly clear to the knights and troopers. he wanted you more than he wanted the resistance gone.

“so..” he had been trying to get you to talk for almost thirty minutes now. unlike his friend, this one seemed to be a little dull. “what’s between you and ren?”

you raised your head, and narrowed your gaze, “you mean my superior, the supreme leader kylo ren?” you were so serious that poe had to think about it before nodding weakly.

“nothing. bring me the trooper. fn-2187, is it? at least he knew what kind of questions to ask..” you waved a hand, dismissively towards the man and turned away, hoping he would leave.

“oh my god.” poe let the words escape as he shut the door behind him, “i don’t know what he sees in her-“ he looked at finn, “she’s asking for you. like specifically for you.” he raised his eyebrows at finn, who laughed in shock.

rey looked at the men, “don’t tell me you’re going to go in there.” she held up a hand to finn and he shrugged, “what else should we do?”

rey sighed, “give her up? she’s clearly nobody to ren, maybe finn was wrong.”

kylo ren had blown up half of the resistance base. he had felt nothing as he did so, and nothing more as he stepped off his ship, and hauled ass to wherever the hell you were.

he tried to use his own force powers to try and locate you, cutting down anyone that tried to fight him.

but it was worth nothing. nothing drove kylo ren more than you, and he would find you even if it killed him.

the argument between poe and finn had barely lasted before the emergency alarm had gone off. shouts echoed down the hall and they all began to run.

troopers were all over the place, blasters were shooting at everyone and they knew this was kylo.

“maybe finn was right..” rey looked at the men with a sheepish smile, and finn rolled his eyes, “get down!” he shouted at rey, who just barely ducked the blast that was shot towards her.

“if it’s him then shouldn’t someone go fend him off?” finn stared at poe and rey, as if waiting for one of them to volunteer.

poe shrugged, “i don’t think she’s worth it. barely talked.” finn didn’t even bother arguing when rey began to agree.

you could hear the sounds of a fight through the door. you couldn’t see through the glass window, but you could just imagine it.

the door opened and you half expected to see one of the two guys who had been interrogating you. but instead there he was.

wearing his usual all black, kylo cut down the room and immediately opened his arms, pulling you into them. “y/n..oh y/n.” there was a sigh of relief as you wrapped your arms around him.

you were crying.

this entire time you had forced yourself not to cry, not to show emotion. perhaps you had saved it for this moment. “kylo.” his name rolled off your tongue, “im sorry.”

kylo shook his head, “don’t. it’s all my fault. i should’ve just gone out there with you.” he scolded himself, shaking his head as he thought back to what he could’ve done.

“no. don’t. you always do that, you take responsibility for a decision i made.” you hugged him even tighter, “don’t. okay. just don’t.”

kylo didn’t even protest, he just held you all the more tighter in his arms.

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space-helen · 11 months

Text

Eternity

Words: 1192

Pairing: Nick Stokes x Reader

A/N: I wrote this months ago... possibly at the end of last year? Early this year? idk I have a couple I still need to post.

Request: nick stokes and reader where the killer has taken the reader and is calling the lab and they can hear them hurting the reader or something? like one of the gig harbor killer episodes - Anon

______________________

The phone lay on the table in front of the CSI’s as they all waited in anticipation.

You’d gone missing from the last crime scene you were at. Morgan, D.B and you had gone together to process the scene but it took mere seconds for you to disappear. One moment D.B had been asking you a question and the next you were gone, only a mobile phone and a note in your place.

The note gave D.B a set of instructions. One of which was to leave the scene immediately, the second was when to answer the phone.

The scene had been linked to a series of cases popping up over Vegas, a clear serial killer on a spree. The team had still been running evidence from previous scenes but leaving the last scene untouched was potentially detrimental to the case.

The team had been frantic trying to gather any evidence to find you, any surveillance footage from the area was being meticulously watched and the phone had been processed in hopes of finding anything to help them find you.

The buzz of the phone had everyone jumping in their seats slightly. Nick was the one to reach for the phone and held it in his hand for a second before accepting the call and placing the phone back down in the centre of the table.

After the call connected fully they were met by screams and whimpers. Everyone’s heart dropped at the sounds. They were coming from you.

Nick shifted in his chair, he was absolutely torn up inside hearing you in pain. He stood up and began to move for the door, unable to listen any longer as tears formed in his eyes, the team knew about your relationship with him so he knew they’d understand.

Just as Nick reached the door your pleas stopped, all they could hear was your breathing and footsteps.

“CSI’s, I thought you would have said something by now.” the man laughed and it sent chills up their spines. “You’re probably wondering why I still have the line open as well, letting you track the call.”

Nick made his way back to his seat but instead of sitting he stood behind it with his arms crossed.

“Well that’s because I want you to find her. I’m sending a message. If you get here quick enough you can have me too. But I doubt that.” there was a pause. “For now I’ll just finish what I started.”

As soon as he spoke his last word they could hear you pleading once more before more screams and sounds of his fist coming into contact with you and the falling of furniture and loud thuds.

D.B was quick to reach across the table and mute the lab's end of the line. “You know what to do.”

With that everyone was quick to their feet and straight to action.

Nick's foot was to the floor as he drove, navigating the roads instinctively as he'd done a million times before but this time something greater was on the line. Pulling up to the destination he'd barely stopped the car before he was flinging himself out of it.

Everyone slightly grouped together before entering the building. A full force of officers with them, going from room to room they cleared the majority of the building swiftly before eventually finding you.

Nick saw red, the tall man was standing over you with a knife, he didn't even hesitate to rush forward and pin the man to a nearby wall, grabbing his wrist to force him to let go of the weapon. In normal circumstances, Nick would have gone for his gun but the adrenaline had taken over and he was furious. Giving the man one last harsh shove against the wall the officers were soon pulling Nick away and cuffing the suspect.

Taking a breath Nick slightly composed himself before quickly turning on his heels and diverting his attention to you. He instantly spotted the EMT’s surrounding you, rushing forward he tried to push past them.

“Is she ok?” he was panicking “Is she alive?” his voice broke slightly.

Greg grabbed his bicep and tried to pull him away slightly. “Let them work”

He continued to struggle against the man and repeated questions about your condition but no one would respond. He watched as they moved you to a gurney, head lulling and eyes closed.

“Nick!” Greg's voice was harsh and stern, snapping the man out of his worried haze.

He finally resisted and watched silently as they took you away. “Is she ok?” he faced Greg finally, his eyes pleading.

The man was sympathetic, knowing the man had blocked out everything that the EMT’s had been saying “She’s lost a lot of blood. They said something about emergency surgery.”

Nick nodded. “That son of a bitch needs to go down for good.” Greg could see the anger inside of him.

D.B soon was with the men, an awkward silence hung for a second before he broke it. “Go be with her, Nick.”

The man’s shiny eyes looked into the older mans. “Are you sure?”

He nodded “We’re all thinking about Y/N but you’ll be better off with her. We’ll process the scene.”

Nick nodded and thanked the man under his breath, Greg gave the man a quick shoulder squeeze before Nick left to wait for you.

It took what felt like forever for you to finally come out of surgery and after that it took an eternity for you to finally wake up, but Nick stayed with you the entire time.

The man who’d abducted you was arrested and would go down for good, there would be no chance of him seeing the outside of a prison cell in his lifetime

Getting you home was a huge step, after a week of observation the hospital deemed you well enough to go home as long as you had someone with you, Nick was more than happy to be that person.

“Movie or TV show?” the man sat on the bed next to you, picking up the remote as he did.

You adjusted yourself and smiled “How about neither? Cuddles and sleep?”

A huge grin spread out on his face as he placed the remote back down “How could I say no to that?”

He got under the covers with you and the two of you were soon snuggling into each other. You yawned as you relaxed into him.

“Tired huh?” he teased.

“Says the man who had a nap this afternoon.”

“I was resting my eyes,” he teased. He pulled you in close to his side and placed a kiss on your hair.

You sighed in content “I don’t know what I’d do without you Nick.”

“I’m never going anywhere. You’re stuck with me for eternity.”

“Cheesy.”

“Romantic.” he laughed “It’s what I do best.”

You moved your hand to lay on his torso, your thumb tracing patterns on his shirt as he adjusted the covers properly around you and relaxed into the bed. It didn’t take long for the two of you to fall asleep.

Tag List: (open) Nick Stokes @perasperaadastrawriting

#csi x reader #csi vegas x reader #nick stokes x reader #csi stokes x reader

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imabeautifulbutterfly · 2 months

Note

For the Fanfic Roulette, any chance you can do 30, 24, and Ezra Bridger? Thanks so much! (btw can you tag me in the post so I see when it’s up???)

Oh @skyofnostars *shake my head* what am I to do with you. How is it that you gave me the best request ever!!! *Squeezing you in a bear hug* Do you know you actually had me stumped for a day and a half. I had to go back and watch all critical Ezra Bridger episodes both in Rebels and Ahsoka, to get my mind wrapped around exactly what I wanted to write.

I don't know if this is what you were looking for, however I do hope that you enjoy it, because it actually turned out quite adorable if I do say so myself.

Thank you for such an awesome request.

Love oo,

The Return

Warnings: Longing, lost love, emotions, tears, kissing, disappearance, I think that's it. If I miss any please let me know.

Main Master List | Star Wars Fic Roulette

Ezra couldn’t help smiling as his eyes focused on your face after he got off the Imperial shuttle. He wanted to run over to you right away, but between someone shouting, “Someone get the medic. Get the medic!”Which simply made him laugh, and then Hera ran over and grabbed him, squeezing him like there was no tomorrow, making him remember what family was and how much he missed you all; he needed to wait to see you.

Once he finally had a chance to actually breathe, he didn’t stop searching for you among the crowd that were still looking at him as though he had come back from the dead. He searched and searched until he found your face once again again. And even though everyone else looked at him like he was an anomaly, a freak.

Your eyes … well, your eyes only held one thought, ‘he was back.’

His breath caught in his throat, as he locked eyes with you. He’d forgotten how amazing those eyes of yours were. You had always made comments about his piercing blue eyes, however, to him they were nothing in comparison with yours.

Your eyes held the world for him. They were always full of admiration, devotion and longing, and if your eyes weren’t enough, your lips always held that smile that was specially reserved for him. The same smile you currently were wearing on your lips. All in all, regardless of the distance and the years apart, you were still the most beautiful person he’d ever known.

The moment he said bye to you on Lothal, hearing you begging and pleading with him to get off of Thrawn’s ship, telling him how you loved him to the end of time and back, how you’d always loved him. All he wanted was to run off Thrawn’s ship and into your waiting arms, but he couldn’t. Kannan taught him that he needed to make this one sacrifice for the greater good. Kannan’s last lesson, he said. Oh god, how he wanted to kiss you one last time, hold you in his arms one more time, holding you so tight you’d never forget what his arms felt like, at that moment, he understood how Kannan must’ve felt, when he made the ultimate sacrifice. It had been the hardest goodbye he’d ever have to give.

After all, you’d been by his side since you were kids, growing up together, staying close even after his parents were taken. You never left his side when you both had to live on the street after your own parents were killed by the Empire. You were even there when he joined the rebels. You’d always been there, just like his shadow.

He can still remember how idiotic he’d been … no. How confused he was when he first met Sabine, he’d never met someone like her, and of course his world turned on its head when he met her. But somewhere between losing Kannan and seeing Sabine with her family, somehow he realized, you had been more than a shadow. More than a friend. More than anything he ever thought possible. You were his heart, and that’s when he realized it had always been you.

Yet, your time together was cut short when he had to make the ultimate decision to sacrifice himself, to save you. To save Lothal. He tried to tell you in his own subtle way he’d be back. How he’d never stop loving you. How you were more to him than anything else the galaxy had to offer, and as smooth as he hoped his subtlety was, it didn’t work the way he’d hoped.

Instead, he felt your heart break when he said goodbye. He had felt your despair, your soul crushing.

He never meant to be gone for so long. He had always meant to come back to you. However, returning to you was out of his hands. There was nothing he could do while he waited on Peridea.

So when his eyes locked on you, his emotions took over. This time he wasn’t going to let anything stop him, he ran over to you, wrapping his arms around you, and burying his face into your neck. He couldn’t help smiling when he felt your arms wrap around him, holding him tight.

“You’re back…” it was all you were able to manage before the tears started coming hard and fast. You could feel your broken heart healing. Your soul repairing simply because you held him in your arms. You smelled his scent. You felt his heart beating against your chest.

Ezra pulled back enough just to wipe your tears, as he looked at you. Somehow you were even more beautiful than you were five minutes ago. On the one hand, he did feel bad for leaving Sabine and Ahsoka back on Peridea, on the other hand he was finally able to hold you in his arms after ten long years.

Ten years of waiting.

Ten years of longing.

As he looked into your eyes, his eyes glanced down to your lips. The desire to kiss you had never been stronger, he was hesitant at first, but he had ten years to think about it and didn’t want to hold back any longer.

He leaned forward, tilting his head ever so gently, a smile on his lips, tears sliding down his cheek as he closed the distance between you, placing his lips on your soft ones. As soon as your lips felt his, neither of you held back.

Maybe you should’ve cared that he still hadn’t been debriefed, maybe you should’ve cared that he was in a stormtrooper’s uniform, or maybe you should’ve cared about the imperial shuttle that was sitting there.

However, neither of you cared.

You didn’t care that you were in the middle of the hangar bay.

You didn’t care that others were watching.

The only thing that mattered at that moment was realizing you both finally felt like you were home. As though the pieces of your heart that had been missing for the past ten years, were suddenly healing, and once again you both were whole.

You pulled away and kissed his cheek, his neck, his shoulder, as you pulled him in for a hug, and held him tight. He was home. He was alive. He wasn’t hurt, and frankly that’s all that mattered. He was there with you.

“I missed you so much.” You whispered into his ear, as you breathed in his scent. Needing to remind yourself over and over again, this wasn’t a dream.

“I missed you, too.” He whispered back, his face buried in your hair, “There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think of you.”

“How did you get back?”

“It’s a long story.”

Both of your voices were low, everyone had started to scatter thanks to Hera’s intervention. She knew how much his disappearance weighed on you, kept you isolated, kept you hardened. As Hera watched you heal, she wiped a tear, happy that a part of her family had returned.

“I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you.” Ezra vowed as he whispered in your ear, these words were for you and you alone.

“I always knew you’d come home. I never stopped loving. I’ll love you until the stars turn cold.” Regardless of anything else, as of right now you were grateful he was home and in your arms.

Main Master List | Star Wars Fic Roulette

Tag list:

@liadamerondjarin @badbatch-simp24@spicymcnuggies@lady-ren @firstofficerwiggles @darkangel4121 @discofern @kavecika @monako-jinn-stories @ladykatakuri @avathebestx @theroguesully @furyhellfire66 @carodealmeida @ciramaris @sprout-fics @twinkofthedink @dindjarin-mandalorian @ulchabhangorm @littlemisspascal @tortor-mcgee @vodika-vibes @clonethirstingisreal

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aloneinthehellfire · 1 year

Text

Chapter 23: The Aftermath

Season One | Season Two | Season Three | Season Four

Word Count: 4847 words of these kids definitely have ptsd now

Warnings: swearing, mentions of death, blood, hospitals (i myself am not fond of being in one), minor violence?, some nice sweet stuff in this one since all the others have been an angst fest

[A/N: this is kind of like a filler episode we all know and love on our fav shows (or not lmao) but i really wanted to give a shot at what was happening before 'two days later'. you don't really have to read this chapter if you don't want to, but there are some important parts?]

The Aftermath

Dawn was breaking by the time you left the Upside Down, slowly casting an orange light on your silhouettes. For a moment, everyone glanced over at the rising sun.

It wasn’t until you were heading to the RV that you realised this particular sunrise wasn’t meant to be seen by your eyes, or any after that. It was a bittersweet reminder that you almost never saw a sunrise ever again. You didn’t even remember the last.

Steve drove away from the trailer park, Nancy taking care of Eddie’s wounds in the back, while Dustin and Robin shared stories of the night. Despite their efforts, there was an unease that even the attempt of comedic conversation couldn’t break.

You sat in the front, staring out of the window and wincing at the reflection of the girl with a blood-stained face staring back.

There was too much running through your mind to truly allow you to focus, only ever seeing the same images burned into your brain. The visions of the people you lost, the grave inscribed with your name. The look in Vecna’s eye when he took your life. Your blood.

“Hey.”

Steve’s foot gently nudges yours, voice lowered in attempt to keep the conversation private. Not that it was needed; Robin and Dustin’s exchange of tales were loud and excitable, the pair happy to just discuss random movies and keep Eddie awake.

“You okay?” He asks before his face drops, shaking his head and looking back to the road. “Sorry, stupid question.”

“We lost.” You say after a time, quietly. He glances over to you.

He took a moment to decide his next words, flexing his knuckles as he gripped the steering wheel tightly. “Not yet. We’ll get another chance, and we’ll win. I know it.”

“Yeah.” You try to agree, but your heart wasn’t in it.

“Look,” Steve sighs, quickly checking the mirror to ensure the others were distracted, “All I know is that we’re okay. That you’re okay.”

His voice was slightly cracked at the last three words and your whip your head to find his eyes, frowning.

“Steve-”

“No, I-” He breathes away the reddening of his eyes, focused on the road ahead in the soft yellow glow of the headlights, illuminating the paths hidden in darkness from the early morning shades of trees. “I genuinely thought I was gonna have to figure out the rest of my life without you and I never wanna do that again. I wish I could say it was the first time.”

“When have you…” You shake your head, confused.

Steve’s eyes flicker to yours, gulping. “Last year. When… the Russian base. We got separated. All I could hear were your screams. Even if I was getting beaten to a bloody pulp, those screams were the worst torture, believe me. Then- then that woman showed us a knife- your blood, and…”

A tear rolls down his cheek as he continues. “Jesus, I seriously thought that this year would be different. You left, and believe me that sucked, but you were safe. That’s what mattered.But I- I couldn’t get any of it out of my head. Then the worst finally happened just a few hours ago and I don’t even know how I’m gonna process that one.”

“You aren’t the only one.” You admit quietly and he nods.

“Yeah, of course. Right, I can’t even imagine-” His breath is shaky and you lower your head.

There was always a part of you that declared you needed to be strong, to never show weakness. It was that part that always ended up failing you, spinning you out of control until you did something you regret. But those usually extended from small lies or lack of communication. This time, it was quite literally death.

And you didn’t have the strength in you to pretend like you were okay.

“Don’t ever die again.” Steve frowns, breaking the silence, eyes filled with that painful memory. His lips were tight, glistening eyes watching as the light began to beam between the branches you pass. “Please.”

You lean over and wipe the tear from his cheek. “You’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

“Good.” He chuckles, taking your hand and squeezing it. “Because I’m not letting you go that easy.”

That was the first time you felt like you smiled for a normal reason. The only times happiness had struck you over the course of the past few days were when you celebrated that your friends were alive. This… this felt better. Because it wasn’t a relieved smile for once. It was the joy you felt after the boy you loved told you that this was forever.

The moment was broken with a thick air of smoke clouding the road, Steve pulling the RV to a stop and frowning.

“What’s going on?” Nancy joins you at the front, peering through the windscreen.

As Steve wordlessly shakes his head, you can make out a shadow in the distance, a scarlet outline. Your eyes widen.

You were out of your seat and jumping from the door in no time, feet planting on the solid ground before taking a few steps. Your breath slipped from your lips, a clearer view of what you feared.

The Creel House was surrounded by the dark smoke but illuminated by a red light, almost like fire.

And it was no longer standing.

A huge slit broke the house in half, the beating heart of a gate staring back at you. Your gaze travels up the building, face dropping completely. The attic was incinerated.

“Do you think they got out?” Dustin asks with the smallest whisper.

Your friends had collected behind you, poking their head out of the vehicle and staring at the destruction with wide eyes.

Robin nods vigorously. “Yeah. Yeah, they- they had plenty of time.”

Your eyes flicker around, part of you hoping to find Lucas safe and sound among the rubble. Nothing.

Erica would have gone for help, you tell yourself, he’s fine, she’s fine… Max is fine.

“Maybe they’re-” Dustin hobbles down from the step in the direction of the building, until his ankle folds beneath him and he’s almost face first on the ground.

Steve catches him just in time, “Woah, no, okay. We’re getting you to the hospital. You seriously need that ankle checked out.”

“But-”

“No, he’s right.” Nancy affirms, nodding. “You’re obviously in pain, Eddie needs those bites properly treated. And Y/n-”

Nancy turns to you and for the first time tonight, took in your appearance, breath hitching. Almost your entire torso was covered in dry blood, splattered across your neck and face. Three gashes were torn into the fabric of your shirt, outlining the red scars that replaced your once fatal wounds. Bruises coated the public skin, some more brutal than others. You were, to put it simply, a mess.

“I’m fine.” You shrug, clearing your throat. “But, yeah. We, uh… we should get to the hospital.”

You ignored her worried look, turning away from the wreck and stepping back into the RV, reclaiming your seat. Steve slips back behind the wheel, taking a deep breath and relying on the headlights to guide you all safely through Hawkins.

The earlier chatter of distraction had dissipated into unsettling silence. Perhaps they were originally riding the high of their survival, but now the truth of the surface had unveiled itself and plunged them into dread.

And it only got worse.

Driving through streets of chaos, your heart drops; crumbled buildings, fires burning away memories, people cradling limbs as they’re pulled from beneath.

Crying parents held their children, police men desperately trying to assess the source of the destruction. It was soul-breaking to see the panic, residents fleeing their homes without a choice. Hawkins was once so cosy.

The aftermath of Vecna’s victory hadn’t just hurt you. It affected the entire town.

The road to the hospital was busy with cars, forcing Steve to stop in the Family Video parking lot. Luckily for you, the final destination was only around the corner.

Steve supported Eddie’s weight, the latter insisting he was fine when, especially in daylight, he clearly wasn’t. Dustin simply loops his arm around Nancy, allowing her to help him along with no complaints. From the grimace of his face, the adrenaline must have worn off and he was now feeling the pain of the drop.

Robin offered to help, only met with a few murmurs of ‘no, it’s okay’ before she gave up and shuffled up next to you, her curious eyes assessing the buildings around her.

After seeing the Creel House destroyed, your hope had gone. You knew Max was dead, that part was made very clear by the grand opening of Hawkins’ biggest gate yet. But you also knew Lucas had to have seen that, and he wouldn’t have left her side, even if the ground was swallowing them both up. It hurt.

Lucas had a natural charisma about him when you first met. It was late, your first night in Hawkins, and the house beside you was lively, bundles of excited chatter and exclamations spewing from the tiny window of the basement and echoing straight to your window. It wasn’t until you took a step out of the house for some fresh air that you met the kids; Will’s shy smile, Mike’s under-eager wave, and Dustin’s wide grin. Lucas was the first one to talk to you, a warm welcome to the town.

Ever since then, you’ve seen him grow from that 12 year old boy into someone you wished you could be. You’ve dealt with his unrealistically optimistic flirts, his arguments with the other boys, his small and quiet conversations about wanting to play basketball like the older kids did but scared he would upset the Party. And he dealt with your sarcasm, your denial of emotions, even your constant refusals to assist them even though you would do anything for them. When you think of any memory tied to the town, almost every one had him connected into it, his sincerity and love for his friends inspiring you to make the same sacrifices onto selflessness. You couldn’t have hoped for a better person to care for your sister.

The thought of losing them both…

Warmth slipped into your hand and you look up to see Robin’s smile, her hand squeezing yours gently as you led the others towards the hospital. Neither of you spoke, only basking in the safety you felt with eachother, calming nerves.

As the greying white of the building appears into view, flashing lights blare the road behind you, screeching sirens of persistence loud enough to pierce the chaos around you.

The ambulance stops just outside of the entrance, a gurney being pulled from the back and slid onto the paving. You barely take notice, head hung low as you glance back to check on Dustin and Eddie.

“Is she gonna be okay?! Anyone?!”

Your head whips up to see someone else emerge from the transport, reddened eyes and quick breaths as they yell in exasperation.

Erica steps around him, noticing you stood with a look of shock on your face. She immediately turns to get his attention, pulling on his shirt and nodding in your direction.

Lucas’ face drops when he sees you, eyes widening. He glances to the gurney.

It doesn’t take long for the puzzle to build itself.

“Max.” You breathe out, loud enough for your friends to halt all movement and find the source of your whisper.

Without even waiting for confirmation, you drop Robin’s hand and sprint over to where they were carting your sister into the hospital, a sob leaving your lips when you see her face, blood staining her cheeks in tear paths.

“You need to step back.” A nurse informed you a little bitterly and you shake your head, keeping up with the fast pace.

“She’s my sister!” You insist and the woman sighs, nodding to another worker.

“And we will let you know everything once we finish her surgery.”

“No, I- Surgery?” You repeat, hand brushing against Max’s face before she’s pulled away from you and through restricted doors, leaving you stood alone in the foyer, murmurs of busy people vibrating around you.

“Y/n?”

You turn around to see Lucas stood a few steps from you, body almost curling in on itself like he was guilty, ashamed. With the drop of your heart, you realise he must think you’d hate him for breaking his promise. Your feet moved quickly.

Closing the distance, you wrap your arms around him and pull him close. His arms immediately clung onto you, soft sobs vibrating into your shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I tried- he-”

“It’s okay.” You soothe, squeezing your eyes shut. “You’re here. That’s what matters. You did everything you could.”

Lucas’ mumbles of apology quickly faded into silent tears, his tight grasp finding comfort in your arms and letting you hold him up. Behind him, Erica patiently waits, her sad eyes finding yours and flickering to her older brother, a look of helplessness.

The doors open to reveal the others, Steve calling for doctors passing by and struggling to make excuses for Eddie’s condition.

“Look, I don’t know what to tell you, we…” Steve stumbles over words, looking to Robin.

“Uh, yeah, we… found him. Like this, I mean. We found him like this.” She finishes, turning red. She was never one for lying.

The doctor raised an eyebrow and Eddie sighed.

“Bats.” He states and they look surprised.

“Bats?” The doctor repeats and Eddie nods.

“Yeah, bats.”

Nancy clocks the medic’s startled face and clears her throat. “He might just be in shock, you know. The, um, earthquake must’ve spooked a lot of animals.”

“Right.” The doctor sounds hesitant but motions over a nurse, whispering something in her ear before she helps them take Eddie from Steve’s hold.

As they pass, Eddie sends you a smile, your brain instantly recognising that look where he hides something behind his eyes. You frown, carefully pulling away from Lucas but keeping an arm around him.

You watch as the doctor nods to a guard by the entrance, the man moving swiftly across the foyer and towards where the medics were helping Eddie.

And, with the sickening realisation, you knew there wasn’t even a small chance he’d have a normal life after this.

Because you never managed to clear his name.

Steve was by your side as you glared up at Officer Callahan, arms crossed as you stared with such malice he was starting to look uncomfortable.

As you intended. After all, his spiel about Eddie’s ‘murder rampage’ boiled your veins with each shake of his head.

“I’m just stating the law-”

“Fuck the law!” You spit and he widens his eyes, adjusting his hat.

Steve raises his brows but says nothing, trying to hide a smirk as the officer slowly shrinks in size.

“And it’s not even true. Which we’ve been trying to tell you for the past 20 minutes and honestly, I’m really starting to think our law enforcement is really fucking stupid.”

“Hey, now-” Callahan complains but you raise your hand and he shuts his mouth.

“Please, tell me how it’s humanly possible for anyone, much less Eddie, to be able to do that to someone.” You challenge and whatever retort he had was thrown away, shoulders slumping as he sighs.

“It’s not up to him.”

You and Steve turn to see Powell enter the hallway, nodding to his colleague.

“Since he was seen in contact with 2 out of the 3 victims, we have to take into account that he doesn’t have any kind of alibi.” Powell explains and you purse your lips.

“Explain my sister, then.” You say and he looks surprised, glancing to Callahan for clarification but in return getting a shrug.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Max is currently in surgery after being found with all her bones snapped and her eyes bleeding.” You try and keep control over your voice, wanting them to take you seriously. “Exactly like the other kids. And Eddie couldn’t possibly have done that.”

“How do you know that he didn’t?” Powell raises an eyebrow and you’re ready to answer until Steve’s reminding touch stops you.

“Uh…” You struggle to speak.

To tell the police that you had been hiding a fugitive wouldn’t look great for anyone, but especially not you. You knew about the records they kept on you at the station, the looks you’d get anytime you would pass an officer. They’d be quick to assume that Eddie had an accomplice.

“He was with me.” Steve breaks his silence and your eyes widen, whipping your head to him. He avoids your eyes, looking to Powell and scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, long story short I kinda ran into him at Skull Rock, got to talking. I mean, I was all on board thinking Eddie could’ve done it until I actually met the guy and yeah, I gotta tell ya… not a murderer.”

Callahan’s eyes narrowed while Powell assessed Steve’s face for any hint of a lie. You held your breath.

Powell eventually nods, glancing off into the distance before running a hand down his face. “Alright.”

“Alright?” You prompt, brows furrowed.

“We’ll reopen the case.” He states and Callahan turns to him with wide eyes.

“We will?”

“Yes.” Powell nods, adjusting his hat and finding your eyes. “I can’t guarantee anything will change, but he’ll no longer be in our custody. At least not until we’ve dealt with this earthquake.”

You let out your breath and exchanged a triumphant smile with Steve.

Callahan clears his throat pointing a stare. “It does mean we’re gonna have to take statements, from you and your boyfriend here. We expect you to show up this time.”

His narrowed eyes stay on you until he’s rounded the corner, contrasting the slight nod giving by his chief and then they’re out of sight, leaving you and Steve stood outside of Eddie’s room with dumbfounded smiles.

“Did that just really work?” You ask, unfolding your arms and frowning in joyful confusion.

“I’ll be honest,” Steve runs a hand through his hair, “When you said ‘I’m gonna scare them into freeing Eddie’, I kinda expected to be visiting you behind bars.”

You smirk. “Aww, you’d visit me?”

There was a smile on his face, but not from the humour. He was glancing to where Powell and Callahan had disappeared then returning to your face, struggling to keep his lips from widening into a grin.

“What?” You question, cocking your head.

“Nothing, I just…” He wets his lips as he shoves his hands into his pocket, grin on display. “You didn’t correct him.”

You furrow your brows, searching through your memory. “About what?”

“Nothing.” Steve shakes his head, grinning still. “Don’t worry about it.”

Laughing, you open your mouth to respond when something catches your eye. Silhouettes of two figures stood down the hall, sporting matching jackets that you’d recognise anywhere.

Steve frowns, looking over his shoulder to what stole your attention and he holds his breath. He turns back to see your furious gaze, the way your hands balled into little fists.

Lucas had explained everything, from the very beginning of Max baiting Vecna to the ending of Jason showing up out of the blue, smashing her Walkman in the process. Erica was quick to chime in about his friend, the attack. Needless to say, one of them had picked a wrong day to show up in your line of vision.

“Okay, let’s-” Steve begins, but you’re already storming towards them. “Nevermind, okay.”

“Hey!” You shout across the hallway, the boys’ heads locating the call. The one with darker hair looked surprised, fearful even, making you think he knew exactly who you were. The other sported a hat, and, adding fuel to your fire, seemed completely unbothered.

“Can we help you?” He grumbles. Andy, you read on his jacket as you stop in front of them.

You take a look between the two before settling on Andy. “You the one that tackled a little kid and threatened to break her arms?”

The boy beside him- Chase- shifts uncomfortably, looking to his friend with a startled expression. Andy barely flinched.

“No.” He spat, shoving his hands in his jacket and nodding to his friend, a cruel smile on his face as he begins to turn away.

“You realise harming a minor results in both jail time and high monetary fines?” You retort, his footsteps slowing.

He looks to you with a scoff. “You a fucking cop or something?”

“No.” You shrug, tilting your head. “Just a friend of the victim.”

“I don’t know what that little shit said but I didn’t do anything.” Andy insists, voice deep. It wasn’t a plead of innocence. It was a warning.

“Look, we’re just here looking for Jason.” Chase interjects, looking extremely nervous.

“Uh…” You frown, feeling a little guilty in knowing the truth. But you didn’t want to be the one to bear the news. “Haven’t seen him.”

“Waste of time.” Andy mumbles, scanning your body before rolling his eyes and sending Chase a sarcastic look. You purse your lips.

“Maybe if you had checked on him before running away like a wimp, you wouldn’t be wasting your time.”

“Andy?” Chase frowns and Andy’s amused face abruptly drops to a scowl. Chase seemed to have no idea of the previous events of the night, part of you wondering if he wanted out of the ‘hunting’ after his teammate died. Or maybe he was just morally better than the rest of them.

“I’m warning you.” Andy grits his teeth, body fully facing you now. He was clearly a violent one.

Maybe you should take the warning. After all, Andy was physically built as an athlete, much taller and stronger than you were. Your most recent exercise was climbing up a rope and hell, that was a struggle.

But Vecna had really heightened your preferences on what you would find intimidating.

“About what?” You challenge, raising your eyebrows. “You gonna break my arms then run away? Because as I recall, my friend still has her limbs perfectly intact and she’s 11, so… if you can’t even win a fight against a literal child, what makes you think you’ll win-”

Andy’s arm flies out, hand flat as he aims to swipe it across your head. The effect would have hurt for sure, if someone hadn’t caught it just before impact.

You barely flinched as it was, already set to have dodged the attack. But there was something even better having Steve Harrington stood next to you, hand gripping Andy’s wrist tightly as he glares at him.

“I’m warning you.” Steve threatens, voice low. “You fucking touch her and I guarantee someone’s losing their arm today.”

He violently thrusts Andy’s arm back to him, earning a wide-eyed stumble. Andy moves forward, but Chase blocks him.

“Come on, man, let’s just go.” He places a hand on his shoulder and manoeuvres him backwards.

There’s one more angry look from Andy before Chase manages to wrangle him back down the hall and out of your sight. You figure this won’t be the last of seeing him.

“I swear you make more enemies than you do friends.” Steve lets out a breath, shaking his head in disbelief.

“As long as I always have my knight in shining armour to save me.” You bat your eyelids sarcastically and he chuckles, clicking his jaw.

“I’m just glad I actually did something this time instead of running in when it was all over.” Steve smirks knowingly and you look to the ground.

“Can’t believe he did that to Erica. That any of them were just ready to kill a guy because of what? A- a game that they thought was satanic. Part of me felt bad for Jason, but the rest of them barely had an excuse.”

“And Jason did?” Steve quirks a brow.

You sigh, “He was broken. Chrissy was his girlfriend and, I mean, he clearly loved her. Love makes you do crazy things and no, I do not think anything he did was right, but he was hurting. So badly. God, if I was told that someone I loved was murdered, I’d…”

“Hurl Molotov cocktails at the guy who did it?” Steve suggests, attempting a joke but ultimately placing his arms around your shoulders and pulling you closer, planting a kiss on the side of your head.

“She’s gonna be okay, you know.” He mumbles into your hair after a while and your shoulders slump. Of course he already knew what you were thinking.

“We should probably be in the waiting room. For when the doctors have news.” You say quietly and he nods. “Maybe get some coffee so I can be awake. They’ll be a while.”

His arm slips from your shoulders but instead finds your hand, intertwining fingers as you walk towards the busy noise of people impatiently waiting for good news.

“Should also probably get our bruises looked at.”

“I’d rather suffer in silence until I get a good night’s sleep.”

“You literally just said you wanted coffee.”

“Huh, then I guess it’ll have to wait a little longer.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“You love me really.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You guys heard from California yet?” Lucas asks, his voice thick with tears as one hand holds an icepack to his face. He was trying his best to stay calm, but his leg anxiously bounced as he leant back in his chair. Erica's head was rested gently against his shoulder, the girl drifting off to sleep.

“No.” Nancy sighs, scrunching her face. You knew she and Jonathan hadn’t been talking as much lately. You prayed that everyone was okay, and that Nancy and Jonathan would be fine. They were meant for eachother.

“Oh my god.” Robin suddenly blurts, standing up abruptly. She glances around at everyone’s concerned faces. “I gotta call my parents.”

Once her eyes locate it, she bounds over to the phone hanging from the wall, scrambling to dial a number in. Nancy raises her head.

“What is it?” You notice Nancy’s fallen expression, the tightening of her lips. It looked like she was about to cry.

“My parents. Holly.” She says in breaths and you move from your chair to crouch in front of her.

“I’m sure they’re fine.” You comfort, placing your hand over hers and dipping your head down to find her eyes. “Okay, your- your dad is always watching those disaster documentaries, right? He would have gotten your mom and Holly to safety in no time.”

You didn’t have that much faith in Ted Wheeler. It wasn’t that he was a bad father, or anything like that. You were just closer to Karen, her taking you in like you were her own, and their marriage was far from perfect. Ted seemed grumpy most of the time, but regardless he definitely had love for his family. That was something you could have faith in.

“Yeah.” Nancy gulps her anxiety. “Yeah, I’m sure you’re right. I’ll call them when the phone’s free.”

You stand in time to see Steve rejoin you after a brief coffee run, noticing Nancy’s unease straight away.

“Nance?” He questions, placing her coffee beside her and another on the small table for Robin, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” She sends him a quick smile, reaching for the cup and holding it up. “Thank you.”

Steve walks back to the seats opposite her, carefully placing himself in the seat beside yours, holding two cups. Gratefully, you take the hot beverage from his hands and hold it to your lips, breathing in the familiar scent. If you were going to be here a while, you needed caffeine.

Just as you shift back into your seat, echoing footsteps approached behind you.

“Mayfield?”

You whip your head up, exchanging wide glances with Lucas, and jumping from your seat to raise your hand.

“Hi, yeah. I’m her sister.” You stumble across the words, not expecting to hear back from the doctors so soon. The surgery would surely take hours to be successful without…

...without anything going wrong.

Your face drops as the doctor hugs the clipboard, offering a tight smile.

“I’ll need to speak to you privately.” Their eyes shift to the curious faces of your friends behind you. “Family only.”

You glance back at Lucas, the ice pack now deserted on his seat. There wasn’t much to do, so you made a silent vow to tell him everything.

As you follow the doctor down the surgery hallway, the bleached white walls seemed to be closing in on you, tightening your chest. Not a word was uttered as you pushed through the doors, entering a room with artificial lights that blinded you on first look.

The doctor stills, turning back to you and sighing. They didn’t need to say anything.

Your eyes had already drifted to the window beside you, your furrowed expression faltering.

Chapter 24: Hell Comes To Hawkins ->

[A/N: guys, there's only one episode left of Raining Hellfire 4 SOMEBODY SEDATE ME]

taglist: @gnnnne / @beepisbeep / @paintballkid711 / @eddiesbirdie / @livasaurasrex / @darktimelegends / @jackierose902109 / @mvrylee / @chervbs / @eternallyvenus / @nervouscatsuit / @f1nn-wolfhard / @hereiamhereigo / @ladybug0095 / @fangirling-4-ever / @astrolockley / @mothmanatemycat / @sheisjoeschateau / @champagnejoker / @umidktbh / @fallinginlovewithqueue / @ilovetaylorswift132006 / @live-the-fangirl-life / @sadbitchfangirl / @cherrymedicine13 / @engenelxver / @sagaonpandora /

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btsqualityy · 2 years

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BTS Dating Series #4: Meeting The Members

Members x Reader

Genre/Rate: 18+, fluff

Summary: You meet the members of Bangtan.

Warnings: None to note.

Kim Seokjin

You followed one of the group’s managers down the hall of the New Wing Open building, looking around in awe as you noticed other idols milling around. Bangtan was performing on Music Bank to promote their most recent comeback and Jin had invited you to come watch from backstage.

“Right through here,” the manager said as he motioned towards the door of the dressing room and you bowed towards him in appreciation.

“Thank you,” you smiled before pushing open the door and stepping inside. As soon as you did, Jin was the first person that you saw.

“Y/N-ah!” Jin exclaimed, getting up from where he had been sitting on the couch and bounding over to you, scooping you up into a tight hug. “Ah, I was wondering when you’d get here!”

“It took me a while because of traffic and all the fans outside,” you giggled as you wrapped your arms around him.

“Yeah, that happens a lot,” Namjoon spoke up, getting up from his seat and walking over to you. “Kim Namjoon.”

“Y/N L/N,” you introduced yourself.

“Ah, I’m sorry,” Jin chuckled. “Let me introduce you to all of the members.” One by one, Jin took you around the room and introduced you to everyone and they all gave you wide smiles and happy greetings.

“So, you’re the Y/N that Jin hyung can’t stop talking about?” Jungkook smirked after shaking your hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Don’t be a brat, Jungkook-ah,” Jin huffed.

“Don’t scold him, Jin,” you chuckled. “He’s cute.”

“You know, I have a lot of embarrassing stories about hyung if you want to hear them,” Jungkook offered and you nodded your head.

“I’m all ears,” you smiled and Jin groaned loudly as the two of you began to talk animatedly.

Min Yoongi

Balancing the large bag of food in one hand, you used your free hand to type the code for Yoongi’s studio into the keypad, waiting for the beeping sound before you grabbed the handle and pushed open the door.

“Yoongs?” You called out as you toed off your shoes. “I brought you lunch.”

“Hey,” Yoongi smiled as he turned around in his chair and stood up, walking over to you and grabbing the bag from your hands. “You didn’t tell me you were coming.”

“Wanted to surprise you, especially since I knew you’d be in here working all day,” you smiled, leaning forward and kissing his lips firmly for a few seconds before pulling away. “I hope I wasn’t interrupting.”

“Actually-”

“Well, the elusive Y/N that we’ve hearing about finally appears,” Jin chuckled as he stepped out of the recording booth. “I have to say, I was starting to think that you didn’t exist and that Yoongi was just using you as an excuse to shirk off on us.”

“Oh, I’m real but he’s still using me as an excuse,” you laughed. “I’m Y/N L/N.”

“Kim Seokjin, nice to meet you,” Jin smiled.

“Is that food?” Jungkook exclaimed as he stepped out of the recording booth as well, rushing over to Yoongi in an attempt to take the bag out of his hands.

“Hey, this is for me,” Yoongi huffed as he held the bag away from Jungkook’s grip.

“Actually, there’s enough food in there to feed a small army so you could share,” you shrugged.

“Jungkook-ah, this is Yoongi’s girlfriend Y/N,” Jin introduced the two of you.

“You’re real?” Jungkook gasped.

“What the fuck?” Yoongi snapped. “Did you all really think I would go as low as lying about dating someone?”

“Kind of,” You, Jin and Jungkook replied at the same time.

“Fuck off, all of you,” Yoongi grumbled, making the three of you laugh loudly.

Kim Namjoon

You sat next to one of Bangtan’s managers, laughing as you watched the group play a game on set for their newest Run!BTS episode. Namjoon had been so engrossed in the game that he hadn’t even noticed you show up and you loved being able to watch him in his element.

“Well, Jimin-ssi has won the latest game so you’ll be able to pick any prize that you want,” the director said.

“I still feel like he cheated,” Yoongi grumbled.

“I did not!” Jimin exclaimed.

“Shall we end the episode?” Namjoon interjected, wanting to quell any arguments.

“Please look forward to the next episode, which will be a lot of fun,” Hobi smiled.

“Run,” Namjoon started.

“Bangtan!” The entire group exclaimed, waving towards the camera until the director called cut. Once he did, the members slowly made their way off set so you stood up, smiling when Namjoon waved at you.

“Hey, you made it!” Namjoon smiled as he made his way over to you, pressing a short kiss to your lips before hugging you.

“I was a little late because of work,” you explained. “Sorry.”

“No, you’re fine,” he assured as he grabbed your hands in his. “Come meet the members.” He pulled you over to the set, where the members were and he introduced you to them all.

“I hope you don’t mind me saying but you’re beautiful,” Jimin grinned.

“I agree,” Taehyung smiled.

“Thank you,” you replied, your cheeks warming up in embarrassment.

“Alright, stop flirting with my girlfriend,” Namjoon chuckled.

“So, will you be coming to more shoots?” Hobi wondered.

“I’d love to, as often as I can at least,” you chuckled.

“Good,” Yoongi nodded. “I’d love to see Namjoon make a fool of himself in order to impress you.”

“Hey!” Namjoon shouted.

“It’s ok Joon. I think it’s cute,” you assured him, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his cheek which had all of the members cooing at the sight.

Jung Hoseok

“Hobi, calm down,” you whispered, gently massaging his shoulders with your hands. “You’ve done this a million times by now.”

“But this is my first solo music video,” Hobi sighed. “What if I can’t do it on my on own?”

“But you can,” you assured him. “And I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“I know.”

“Hey,” you called as you stepped from behind the chair and Hobi looked up at you. “You got this because you’re amazing, ok?”

“Ok. Thanks,” he smiled softly and you bent down to kiss him firmly. Just then, the door to the dressing room opened and Jimin and Taehyung walked inside.

“Well well,” Jimin giggled, making the two of you break apart. “I hope we weren’t interrupting.”

“You kind of did,” Hobi huffed with a smile.

“Sorry,” Taehyung apologized but by the smirk on his face, you doubted that he was seriously sorry.

“Y/N-ah, you know Jiminie but this is my other member Kim Taehyung,” Hobi introduced the two of you.

“Nice to meet you,” you smiled.

“Nice to meet you too,” Taehyung replied, bowing lightly to you. “So, did you come to support hyung too?”

“Yeah, I knew he’d need it.”

“Same here,” Jimin agreed. A knock on the door sounded then and when you looked over, you saw one of the group’s managers.

“5 minutes Hobi,” he said before walking away.

“You guys gonna stick around to watch?” Hobi questioned as he got up out of his chair and his dongsangs nodded.

“We’ll keep Y/N company,” Taehyung added with a smile and Hobi nodded before the four of you filed out of the dressing room.

Park Jimin

“Jimin-ssi?” You called out as you pushed open the door to the practice room and stepped inside, stopping when you saw the members as well as their choreographer huddled up talking. “Oops, sorry.”

“Hey,” Jimin grinned, stepping away from the group and walking over to you, grabbing your hands in his before placing a firm kiss to your lips. “I’m so happy you came.”

“I didn’t come at a bad time, did I?” You checked as you glanced over your boyfriend’s shoulders where the members were eyeing the two of you closely. “I can always meet you at my place later.”

“Of course not, you’re fine,” he assured you. “Come on, come meet everyone.” Keeping his tight but reassuring grip on your hands, Jimin pulled you over to the small circle where you bowed respectfully to all of them.

“Everyone, this is my girlfriend Y/N L/N,” Jimin introduced. “Y/N-ah, these are my members. This is Jin hyung, Yoongi hyung, Namjoon hyung, Hobi hyung, Taehyungie and Jungkookie.”

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Taehyung smiled. “You’re all Jimin talks about these days.”

“Oh really?” You hummed, chuckling when you looked over and saw Jimin blushing.

“Let’s just say, it’s nice to be able to put a face to the name,” Hobi laughed.

“Well, I hope I didn’t stop you guys,” you spoke up. “I don’t wanna get in the way or anything.”

“Please, you’re fine,” Namjoon assured you.

“Maybe Jimin-ah will be a little easier on himself now with you watching, hm?” Yoongi said.

“I doubt it,” you and Jimin replied at the same time, looking at each other afterwards and laughing.

“Oh yeah, this is definitely gonna work out,” Jin smiled as he watched the two of you together.

Kim Taehyung

You watched with a smile as Taehyung posed in front of the camera, turning on his powerful charisma as he played with the jacket that he was wearing. Since Taehyung and the group had been having busy schedules for the last few weeks, Taehyung decided to invite you to the set of their photoshoot in an effort to spend more time with you.

“It’s crazy to watch him, isn’t it?” A voice spoke up and when you looked to your side, you saw Namjoon standing there. “He turns into a whole different person.”

“It’s definitely different,” you chuckled as you turned around to face him. “I’m Y/N.”

“I thought so,” Namjoon smiled, reaching out and shaking your hand. “I’m Kim Namjoon. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you as well,” you smiled. Just then, Taehyung walked over to you.

“I see the two of you have met,” he smiled.

“That we have,” Namjoon nodded. “It looks like it’s my turn next so I’ll be seeing you around Y/N?”

“Hopefully,” you agreed and with one last smile, Namjoon turned and walked away to the set.

“Well, that seems like it went good,” Taehyung chuckled.

“I was kind of nervous when he approached me,” you admitted. “He’s the leader of your group and I know you respect him a lot.”

“I do but I knew he’d like you, just like the rest of the members will,” he promised. “Now, come on. You only have to go through that five more times.”

“Sounds fun,” you huffed, making Taehyung laugh loudly before he grabbed your hand and led you towards their dressing rooms.

Jeon Jungkook

“Kook, you’re gonna get in trouble,” you giggled as Jungkook pushed you up against a random corner in the stadium. The group was having rehearsals for their Seoul concert and Jungkook had invited you to come watch them rehearse since the show was later that same day.

“I’d much rather spend time with you,” Jungkook smirked and when he leaned in to kiss you, you pressed your hand to his lips to stop him.

“You’re supposed to be rehearsing,” you reminded him. “And if you’re not gonna focus, I’ll hide out in the dressing room until the show tonight.”

“Alright, fine. One kiss though?” He requested and not being able to help yourself, you moved your hand away from his lips and allowed him to kiss you. Of course, the kiss turned into something else pretty quickly, your arms snaking around his neck as he pulled your body closer to his. Just as his tongue pushed it’s way into your mouth, you both heard a loud voice interrupt the two of you.

“Well well well, what do we have here?” Yoongi smirked and when the two of you broke apart, you saw him, Hobi, and Jimin standing there. “I guess we know why you’re late for rehearsal.”

“I’m sorry,” you instantly apologized.

“Don’t worry about it, you’re fine,” Hobi assured you with a smile.

“But you, on the other hand,” Jimin chuckled as he looked at Jungkook.

“Sorry hyungs,” Jungkook said. “She just couldn’t keep her hands off me.”

“Shut up, asshole,” you hissed, raising your hand and smacking his chest which made him hiss loudly.

“I’m assuming you’re Y/N?” Hobi wondered and you nodded your head.

“Oh sorry,” Jungkook chuckled. “Y/N-ah, this is Yoongi hyung, Hobi hyung, and Jimin hyung. Hyungs, this is my girlfriend Y/N-ah.”

“Nice to finally meet you,” Jimin smiled.

“Likewise,” you bowed lightly towards them.

“It would’ve been nicer if we didn’t catch you with your tongue down the girl’s throat though,” Yoongi snorted.

“Well, you know how he is,” you huffed with a smile.

“A brat,” you, Hobi, Yoongi, and Jimin all said at the same time, immediately falling into loud laughter afterwards.

“Hey,” Jungkook pouted.

“Come on Y/N-ah, I’ll show you the best spot on the stage to watch from,” Jimin offered, holding his arm out to you and you didn’t hesitate to grab onto it, allowing him to lead you to the stage with Yoongi and Hobi following closely behind.

“Did they just steal my girlfriend?” Jungkook muttered as he followed behind you.

…………………………..

Tag List: @addictedtohobi @brittneymccray @cursedcursives @arata18nanami @leftieaquarius @devilsbooksworld @starmyy @werewolfbanshee-love @li-moonchild-il @kpop-servant

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morganas-pendragons · 1 year

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Blood Stained Booths | Joel Miller

Filling in this request:

hi sweet thing!

can i req the fight scene with david in tlou but instead of ellie, it's the reader and joel comforts her in the same fashion?

warnings: descriptions of violence

update: I intended to have this out by the time episode 4 aired, but I'm the maid of honor in my cousin’s wedding and my mental health is TRASH right now, coupled with the fact I’ve barely had time to do ANYTHING I enjoy. this is 1/2 requests I currently have in my inbox. they’re still open, as I do want to write for Joel, and I'm hoping to have the other one out by episode 5. please be patient! :)

tag: @ironmandeficiency @kayleezra

***

In a universe where Ellie's sister meets David instead of Ellie...

He'd seemed nice, at first. They always do. Everyone out in this world is coming from an angle, looking to prey on whatever weaknesses they can exploit.

Your weakness seems to be Joel. Or, to David, whoever you're currently trying so hard to get your catch back home to.

The only problem is that you won't tell him where or who that is.

Better you then Ellie, right? She's still so young. It doesn't matter that what little innocence she does have is gone. If there's even the slightest possibility of it remaining, you will move heaven and earth to ensure she can keep it for as long as she can.

That was part of the reason why you offered to go hunting for her. Give her time with Joel - in the off chance your luck ran out and he really did leave you - and you time to gather your thoughts and prepare for that possibility.

You'd lost track of how much you cried. You had only just allowed yourself to accept that you were in love with Joel. To even consider a future that he was not a part of when he'd become so.. critical to who you were now, being the object of your desires and a quiet promise for a future, was not something you were willing to do.

That was why you agreed to go with David. To do what he needed you to do because all you wanted was the meds: And David made promises to give them to you.

You should've known better. You should've known that everything came with a cost.

***

You'd left with a whisper of a kiss and a promise of return. The air was cold, bitter cold, and the only thing that Ellie could really do to occupy the time she now had on her hands was tell stories to Joel.

Joel, who didn't hear a word of them, but she knew he was there. She knew he was there because not one time did she move her hand away from where it was pressed over where his heart beat.

His heart was still beating. He was still alive.

Joel might not have been present in the moment but she told her stories anyway. It was the only distraction from thinking about all the things that could potentially be happening to you.

***

He's too nice. He's nice in that way that makes your skin crawl because he just wants to know too much.

After returning to the shack where the three of you had initially had your first conversation, you shouldered the rifle he'd given you and watched as David knelt to tend to the fire he'd built beforehand. You were trying not to let your mind run idle to Joel and Ellie and if they were dealing with the bitter cold as well as you were.

Thank God for gloves.

"You've got gloves!" David remarks. "I’m jealous, especially with this cold. That's lucky."

"Luck has nothing to do with it," You mutter. "Next you're gonna tell me everything happens for a reason."

David nods. "I do believe everything happens for a reason, ma'am," He says. "There was an incident a few weeks back where I sent out a group of my men to scout the surrounding areas. Only a few came back. They had told me that the rest had been slaughtered by, and get this, a crazy old man, a woman with a shotgun, and a little girl."

Your blood runs cold.

Despite the palpable tension in the air and the way you refuse to deviate from where you've aimed the rifle at David's chest, he gives you the medicine anyway. He gives you the medicine but now your skin is crawling and every atom of your being is screaming at you to run.

You know they'll catch you if you run.

It's better to do the thing people never expect when they took at you: Manipulate. Manipulate your way out, and that's what will keep you alive.

But again... you still don't know the cost.

Will it be your life or his?

***

Joel wakes with a strangled cry of your name. His dreams had been bathed by fire and doused in blood, and the last thing he'd seen before being woken to the bitter cold and worried expression of Ellie at his side was you.

You. Dead, gone, vacant eyes staring into nothing from the floor beside the blood stained booths.

“Joel?” Ellie is standing frozen in the doorway that leads out of the garage, trembling hands wrapped around a newly steamed can of soup. She clearly hadn’t anticipated him being awake yet.

“Yeah-” His tongue is drier then the Sahara and his mouth tastes like it’s had blood sit in it too long, but he’s alive. His heart is beating. That is lucky. “Yeah, kiddo. ‘M here.”

And then Ellie is off in her usual rambles, but this time it's clear concern over the fact that her sister has not come back yet. You were supposed to go find medicine for Joel’s injuries.

That’s when he finally feels it. It’s not the same piercing, agonizing pain he’d felt upon impact with the rebar. It’s lessened considerably but there’s still enough to hurt.

Dark eyes flicker to the windows of the garage door. Joel’s stomach is turning just with the thought of something happening to you. When the images from his dream flicker in and out like the scenes from a movie behind his heavy eyelids, he squares his jaw and winces as he slowly rises at the waist to sit up on the mediocre thing they’ve called a mattress.

“We’re gonna go get her.”

The look she gives him is sharp enough to cut through glass. “You’re delusional,” Ellie snaps. “And were, until recently, half dead. Unless you intend to bring me with you? It’s a hard no from me.”

Well, Joel isn’t in the state to argue.

That's why he lets a fourteen year old help half drag him out into the snow in search of you.

You better not be dead, Sunshine.

And God help anyone who even threatens to try to hurt you.

***

You broke his finger. You’d sauntered up to the cell door, all sweet and seductive to try and get him within your vicinity, and then he’d howled as you snapped his finger through the bars.

David slammed your head against the door in retaliation, which was most likely why you weren’t seeing straight as you stumbled through the snow storm in search of the closest place to hide after your impromptu escape.

It was also likely how he was able to track you. Injured meant slow, and slow meant dead.

The only thing keeping you conscious was the thought of being able to fall into Joel’s arms when all was said and done. Even if you got back and he was dying, you’d hold him until he went cold.

Because that’s what you do for people you love.

The restaurant is engulfed in flames now. You’re stuck, truly stuck, and the only way to get out of here is by charging David directly and taking him on in a fight.

So be it.

The sound you let out as you charge David from behind and drive your knife deep into his shoulder blade sounds like a wounded animal.. Like you’re tired of being in hiding, tired of the running, tired of acting like you’re afraid. You drive your knife in just enough to make him throw you off his back, and then you’re diving for the nearest booth as his machete very nearly makes contact with your arm.

A bullet flies over our shoulder. You keep running anyway, desperately blinking black spots from your vision.

His fist slams into your temple as you crawl toward your knife. You can feel your strength draining away, and your resolve with it. Maybe it would be better if Ellie was with Joel when he goes. She’s the one he loves.

It’s okay. You’ll make your peace with it in the end.

“You know, it’s okay to give up,” David jeers. “There’s no shame in it.” He pauses as you trudge forward and ignore his snide remarks. “Mmm... guess not. Not really your style, is it? Seems like you’ve got something to fight for!”

He flashes in front of your eyes, even as your fingers graze the wound to your head and come back red.

Hm.

David’s fingers are forcefully tangling in your hair to press your head to the floor as he straddles you from behind. “You can try begging.”

“Screw you.”

And then his fingers are wrapping around your throat and squeezing. Squeezing and squeezing and squeezing just long enough that your fingers can wrap around the hilt of the machete and pull.

The machete comes down. Once, twice, three times, more. You keep seeing Joel. His smile. The one time your sister made him laugh. The way your body involuntarily shivers when you act like your ankle is acting up just so you have an excuse to ask him to help you walk. He does. It usually involves his arm around your waist.

His fingerprints are branded onto the skin of your hip now.

The booths once reddened by the fabric they’re made of are now stained with blood.

Those blood stained booths hold the memory of what was your first brutal kill.

They also hold the memory of the first time Joel held you like you were his last precious thing to protect, to cherish, to cradle. To preserve something that Joel felt so perfectly encompassed the beauty this world was robbed of.

If Ellie was the innocence lost,

You were the beauty taken.

“Sunshine! Sunshine, stop-” And then he’s there, there and real and alive, cradling your face in his hands and wiping the blood away from under your eyes with your thumbs. Just the sight of those dark irises is enough to reduce you to tears. “It’s me. It’s me, I promise, it’s just me.”

You barely have the breath to get the words out. Everything hurts. It always hurts, even more around him. “The things I thought he was gonna do,” You murmur shakily, clutching the fabric of his jacket to try and steady yourself. “Joel-”

“Sh... darlin,” He’s quick to hide you in his chest as he surveys the building to ensure there is no other perpetrators hiding around corners before hiding his face in your hair and thanking whatever God may still exist that you are still here too. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

That’s the first time he nearly says it. Those three words he never thought he’d feel again, never allow himself to experience again.

It’s okay. It’ll be his own secret for now. It’s too precious to say aloud. Saying aloud means it’s more likely that you’ll be taken from him too early.

Joel’s heart can’t handle that again.

As you leave the smoldering remains of the restaurant, Joel is deliberate in his choice to hold your hand as tightly as he can, smoothing the pad of his thumb across blood stained knuckles.

Joel will wash them clean as much as he is able. It’s the least you deserve.

If Ellie was the innocence lost, and you the beauty taken, Joel is what remains of the men who devout their entire lives to ensuring that those who remain like you both continue to be that way. He is the protector.

And God help anyone who tries to keep him from it.

#The Last of Us #TLOU #Joel Miller #Joel Miller x Reader

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thatgenericwriter · 1 year

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The kiss of death

Pairing: Tony DiNozzo x fem! reader

Summary: This takes place during season 2 episode 22. The reader is Tony's girlfriend and is the one who opens the letter and inhales some of the y-pestis (a.k.a the plague).

Warnings: swearing and a lil angst if you squint really hard (mostly just worried Tony)

P.s. they are in a few different places during this episode and I've decided to label the new places in bold and separate them with "....."

In the NCIS building

The ding of the elevator makes you and Tony pull apart.

Smirking he looks down at me, "Wow. I get to see my girlfriend before work and get to kiss her?! Must be my lucky day."

Flicking him on the forehead I tell him not to get used to it as we walk out of the elevator and towards his desk. "I just happened to have some extra time before work today and thought I could come say hi to my favorite person."

Speaking of my favorite person, I hear Kate call my name from her desk. I start walking faster and I can hear Tony grumbling from behind me about how my favorite person out of all the people he works with is Kate.

Kate waits infront of her desk, arms open and waiting for me. I get to her and practically jump into her arms. We sway back and forth as Tony scoffs, setting his things down.

"I've missed you so much! Dealing with Tony everyday is hard without you." I say as we peel ourselves away from each other. Kate opens her mouth to reply only to be interrupted by a deep voice from behind me.

"Well if it isn't my lucky day." Gasping I turn around only to be met with a smirking Gibbs.

"Gibbs!" I practically yell as I run into his arms. Gibbs and I have grown close over the past few years. We bonded over our love for boats and our shared "hatred" for Tony.

"Hey there kiddo." He says with a little chuckle, "What are you doing here?" I reluctantly pull away from his warm arms and point beside me towards Tony's desk.

"I'm visiting with this loser before I go to work." I hear Tony scoff and I turn towards his desk. He has a pouty look on his face and his arms are crossed over his chest defensively.

"You know I'm just kidding Tony." I say as I walk over to his desk and sit on the edge of it. Putting his hand over mine he pulls me down and gives me a light peck on my lips.

He leans back in his chair while smirking at me. "Yeah I know. I just wanted another kiss."

That earned him another flick to his forehead and an eye roll. I turn my head towards McGee as he sorts through the mail.

"Whatcha got there McGoober?" Tony asks as McGee takes a letter from the pile and shows us. The back is facing us and I can see that it is sealed with a kiss. Literally, there is red lipstick in she shape of lips on the seal.

McGee reads who it's addressed to, "It's addressed to'NCIS Special Agent'." Everyone looks over at me.

I raise my hands in defense, "I was not the one who sent that." I look over at Tony and smirk. "But I will be finding out who is sending letters to my boyfriend." I hop off of the desk and walk the short distance to where McGee is standing.

He holds the letter above his head and effectively out of my reach. "How do we know that this is for Tony?" He asks looking around the room. We all give him deadpan looks. "Fine." He finally says giving to letter to me.

I turn around to Tony again. "Let's see who your secret admirer is." I say tauntingly as I rip open one of the short sides of the letter. I see a little bit of dust, and not thinking much about it, blow it off.

I see Tony's smile drop. I look around at everyone else, and they all have shocked and worried faces.

"Hey honey." I turn back around to look at Tony, "Why don't we put the envelope right here on my desk. Okay?"

I nod a little and place it down gently on the desk. I can hear Gibbs shouting at everyone to evacuate and Kate calling the emergency people.

"Come here." Tony pulls me around to the side off his desk and unscrews a water bottle lid that Kate had thrown to us. "I need you to tip your head over this trash can for a second." He coaxed me over gently. I do as I'm told and I can feel him pour the water on my hair tying to rise it out a little.

I hear Gibbs call for us to get moving and Tony rings my hair out and lifts my head up. I look at him through the tears that are welding up in my eyes. "I'm so sorry." I tell him as some tears escape my eyes.

"Hey now, none of that. It wasn't your fault." He wipes some of my tears away. "Right now we need to go to the showers and clean you off really good." He takes my hand and leads me to the showers.

.....

In the showers

I had refused to get in a separate shower than Tony. Even though the space is cramped and there are no doors to any of the stalls, I didn't want to leave his side.

The others where trying to make me feel better by stating all of the different, harmless, things that the dust could be. But I stayed silent, just standing there letting Tony wash me down from head to toe.

"Did you hear McGee babe? Anything alive would have been killed by going through the post office." Tony says as he rinses my hair out one last time.

Their conversation make me feel a little bit better. But the icing on the cake is hearing Gibbs say, "Even so, I'm gonna kill the son of a bitch who sent that."

I smile a bit looking up at Tony. Knowing that it was probably nothing and I should relax a little.

.....

In autopsy

We had just gotten our blood drawn by Ducky and we are now sitting on some of the autopsy tables waiting for the Bethesda agents to come pick up Tony and I. We were the only ones who definitely breathed in some of the powder.

Ducky was more concerned for me, considering I was the one who opened the letter. He wasn't the only one concerned for me though. Gibbs was trying to convince Ducky to let him leave and find out who sent the letter, McGee was continuously apologizing to me for giving me the letter, and Kate was trying to reassure me that it was most likely nothing to worry about.

Tony was the most concerned, he would not leave my side (not that I minded) or stop asking me how I was feeling. I was getting a little annoyed at answering all of his questions, even though I had already told him I was feeling fine. As I opened my mouth to go off on him, I hear the doors open behind me. I turn around to see people in gas masks and orange jumpsuits coming through.

Tony hopped off of the table offering his hand to me. "Welp it's time for us to go." He says while helping me hop off of the table. Slinging his arm around my waist and pulling me close to his side he looked over at the agents waiting for them to lead us out.

Ducky was giving them our blood samples when I heard Kate sneeze again. The Bethesda agents and Ducky looked over at her in concern.

"What?" She asks looking at their faces, "Oh come on guys it's just a cold." One of the agents looked over at her and shook his head at her.

"You are more susceptible to airborne pathogens." He gestures for her to stand up, "You will have to come with us as well."

Kate looked at Gibbs in disbelief, silently asking him to say they were wrong. But all he did was nod his head twords where Tony and I are standing and telling her to go. She got up reluctantly and started to follow us as we left to go to Bethesda.

.....

At Bethesda

We are all standing in a hallway. The guys that brought us here said that the doctor would be around soon.

'I hope he gets here soon. Kate won't stop sneezing and I'm not feeling good.'

Tony wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him. "Kate could you aim your sneezes away from us." I glance over at Kate and if looks could kill, Tony would be 6 feet under.

Before Kate could strangle Tony to death, a doctor walked up to us. I could feel Tony's grip on me get tighter as the doctor got closer to us.

After talking to him for a few minutes, which was more of Kate and him flirting that anything, he lead us to a big room. It had a smaller "room" that had all glass walls and ceiling. There were four beds lined up against one of the glass walls, and each one had its own blue light hanging over it.

We walk through the doors and meet our nurse, Emma. She gives us our pills we have to take and I already know that Tony is going to make a stupid joke.

"Prophylaxis is a measure taken for the prevention of disease, Tony." Kate says after he laughed at the name.

"That's why I use them." Tony retorts back, making our nurse laugh. I see Kate glance at me and Tony scoots closer to me.

"Oh." Nurse Emma says quietly looking me up and down. "Um, anyways you can choose any of the beds."

Tony starts to follow Kate to the opposite end of the room where the last 2 beds are. I start to follow but the room starts to spin a little. I catch myself on the end of the first bed and try to regain my balance.

Nurse Emma grabs my other arm and helps me sit on the edge of the bed. The commotion caught everyone's attention and Tony rushes back over to me.

He cups my face and asks me what's wrong. "It's nothing Tony the room just started to spin a little. I'm fine." I try to give him my most serious face so he'll stop worrying about me.

"Just try to rest for a little while." Dr. Brad suggest to me. I nod my head in response and lay down on the bed facing Tony.

"I'll be right here when you wake up okay?" I nod at him and close my eyes.

.....

I slowly start to wake up to the sound of Tony and Kate talking quietly. I start to turn and look over at them when I suddenly start to violently cough.

Dr. Brad and Nurse Emma come running into the room, while Tony hurries over to my bed.

"Tony we need you to stand back!" I hear Dr. Brad say. Nurse Emma tries to keep Tony back while Dr. Brad starts to hook up machines to me.

I can hardly focus on what is going on around me. My lungs feel like they are on fire and I can't stop coughing. I'm sweating and fighting to get air back in my lungs. Dr. Brad puts a breathing tube on me and instructs me to try and take deep breaths.

After a few minutes my breathing is back to normal. Tony is sitting on Kate's bed talking to Nurse Emma. Dr. Brad is standing next to me writing on his clipboard.

"What do I have?" I croak out turning my head to look at him. He glances over at Tony and leans down next to me. "Pneumonic plague." He says gently.

So many questions run through my head but the only one I ask is, "Does Tony have it?" Dr. Brad shakes his head slowly, "You were the only one whose blood came back positive."

I let out the breath of air I was holding and nod my head slowly. "Good. I would hate for them to suffer because of me." Dr. Brad smiles at me through his mask before patting my hand and walking towards the doors.

Nurse Emma gives Tony and Kate masks. Kate puts hers on but Tony hesitates. "Do it Tony." I say through small coughs. He looks at me and nods his head, putting the mask on.

Nurse Emma tells them to follow her out of the room, but Tony refuses to leave. I see them start to argue before passing out.

.....

"(Y/N). (Y/N) wake up!" I gasp and sit up quickly, a little too quickly. I start to cough aggressively again. I hear a slapping sound and see Tony rubbing the back of his head.

"You could have woken her up in a better way." Gibbs says as he crouches next to me. I start to breathe normally again and lay back down.

"H-hey Gibbs." I croak out through my heavy breaths. He leans in close and whispers in my ear, "You are not going to die. You hear me." I let out a few wheezes and nod my head.

"Good." He kisses my forehead and stands up to leave. I watch him walk away before turning my head towards Tony. He has some tears in his eyes but is smiling at me.

"Scoot over." I listen to him and make room. He lays down beside me and holds me close. I still feel like shit but at least I know I get to spend the rest of my life with Tony.

..........................................................................................

Author's Note:

Is the ending kind of rushed? Yes. Am I going to fix it? No. I also know that I have not posted in a very long time (sorry) but now my school is out for the summer and I am planning on writing a lot more fics so stay tuned!!

#tony dinozzo #tony dinozzo x reader #ncis x reader #ncis fandom #x female reader #ncis fanfiction

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fandomtherapy44 · 11 months

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castiel x reader

Summary: This story is from the perspective of Y/n Winchester. The sister Of Dean and Sam. We will be starting from season four since sadly we did not get Misha Collins as Castiel throughout the whole series. It will start off as a friendship, but it will grow more as the series goes on. I will be skipping some episodes even though they are great episodes they do not push the story forward. I am so excited to get to write this since they are not many Castiel X reader stories out there. Okay without further due Love War & Grace enjoy the Story.

Paring: Castiel X Reader

Word count: 6,948

Warnings: Some language, Typical Supernatural violence, Spoilers for season four of Supernatural

Chapter 1: Lazarus Rising

POV: Y/n

Four months, four grueling long months since I had to, I had to bury my brother. My oldest brother who has always been there for me and my other older brother Sam. That's the thing about us Winchesters we will always save each other. No matter what even if that means giving up our soul for the other, that's what Dean did to save Sam. I still remember that night as clearly as Crystal Sam had gone missing.

He had just walked into a little diner to get us some greasy food for us to make to the next crap motel. I now regret not taking it and truly enjoy the same everyday banter that I got from Sam and Dean. Because the next moment everyone was dead in that small simple diner and Sam was missing, sulfur powder being only left. leaving Dean and me knowing precisely what it was. The next day was a blur getting Bobby’s help and finding out what had happened to the roadhouse and Ash and not even knowing if Ellen was in the wreckage. When we found out where Sam was, I got this rush of hope and peace that everything was going to be okay. I should have known with our lives nothing really happens to inspire those feelings.

Dean was breaking every speed limit to get there of course he was he would for anyone he loved. As soon as the Impala had screeched to a stop, I jumped out running towards the town. Hearing Sam’s voice grunting I ran faster than I ever thought I could. There he was standing as the tall giant that he was hurt but okay. Dean was not that far behind and together we called his name together “Sammy!” “Sam!”.

Then I saw that goofy smile fall off his face as the blade had made its way into his back. In that second it was like the world had stopped and the sounds around me had turned into static. All that I did was fall down on my knees sobbing and screaming “SAM NO!”. Bobby came up behind me and hugged me and whispered “It’s okay’’ trying to hold himself back to be strong for his kids because to me Bobby had always taken more care of us than John had done.

Then there was Dean holding Sam again like he was just that little baby again, feeling like he had failed his father whose words ran through his head at 100 miles saying” YOU HAD ONE JOB PROTECT SAM AND Y/N” and he couldn’t even do that he thought. The next few hours didn’t even feel like that time had passed.

All I focused on was Sam like he was just taking a nap and would wake up saying that he could use some coffee not from the motel room. I didn’t hear Dean and Bobby talking or Bobby leaving. I knew Dean was destroying himself. I just didn’t think he would practically do it. Since my eyes would not leave Sam at all.

I felt Dean kissing my head saying he would be back and the door slamming behind him and the impala roaring away. I just sat there thinking why me, why my family, why did we have to suffer for others to live? Like God had heard me Sam sprung up and gasping for air like he was trying to catch up to the air that had left when it was replaced with that blade. I knew as soon Sam came back, I knew what Dean had done I wanted to cry all over again.

I wanted to scream and hit him, but I understood why he did it. Because he is Dean Winchester, and he would do anything for his little brother and sister. When Sam found out he was rightfully pissed and told Dean we would find a way out and Dean quietly dismissed it knowing not for everything he ever wanted he would let that happen.

The next year we fought and killed demons and monsters, as usual, Sam kept on saying that we would get Dean out. I was already trying to grieve Dean so it wouldn't hit me as much. The Night it happened it didn’t matter that I tried to prepare, it was like deja vu from the year before. Instead, this time we had lost the one person who promised he would always protect us.

And that was a year and four months ago but it feels like a lifetime. So here I am pushing around a four-wheel cart one wheel squeaky and me going down the booze aisle to see my best friends Jack and Daniel. These last few months Bobby and I have turned his house into a bar just without the creepy desperate men and smoke smell.

It seems without Dean Im falling apart he would always make sure I would not drink too much well look at me now hope your proud big bro. When I’m standing in the check out these three little kids run past me. The little sister trips and starts to cry then the big brother comes and scoop’s her up telling her she will be fine. It was like looking in a mirror. I should start going to a new grocery store, so I don’t have to cry every time I drive back. Who am I kidding I would cry anyways.

“Hey Bobby, could you help me with the rest? They had a sale on our favorites so I got a lot” I came in, set the bag on the counter, and got a beer out. “y/n” “Today there was a-” “Y/n!” “What?” I turn around and I drop the beer. It’s like my dreams and nightmares from the past four months had all come true at once. There standing was Dean.

I grab my silver knife and swing the knife at the monster who thought it would be a good day to try me today. “y/n! It’s me” he blocks me and I turn around and kick him square in the chest. “Well, at least you've gotten better at fighting” I scream at him and punch him down getting ready to stab the monster. “y/n! It’s him It’s him!” Bobby says, grabbing me back. At this point, I'm about ready to stab Bobby. I'm so angry.

“It’s me y/n if it wasn’t how would I know that when you were younger and got stood up on your first date you called me to pick you up and made me promise to never tell anyone and we egged the idiot’s house that stood you up after”. I feel the anger start to leave my body and my eyesight starts to become more clear. “Dean?’’ “Yes Y/n it’s me’’ I drop my knife and hug him so tight that he loses his breath for a second.

I am just staring at Dean wondering how my prayers got answered. “Hey y/n I missed you too but your starring and making me feel like I have a giant zit.’’ Bobby answers for me. ”well can you blame her Dean your chest was ribbons, your insides were slop, and you'd been buried four months. Even if you could slip out of hell and back into your meat suit -’’ Dean looked like he had been made in a Barbie factory, everything perfect none of his scars were there that he had. ‘’I know, I should look like a Thriller video reject.’’ Dean said.

“What do you remember?’’ I asked. I don't want to hear his answer, but I need to know. ’’Not much. I remember I was a Hellhound's chew toy, and then... lights out. Then I come to six feet under, that was it. Sam's number's not working. He's, uh... he's not…’’ Then I get a little annoyed hearing Sam’s name since he really hasn’t been calling me back.

“Oh I know he’s alive I make him send me his location every week and I told him if he didn’t I would drag his ass back here myself’’. I had already lost one brother I was not going to lose another without even knowing it. I pull at my phone and look at the last message. ’’We haven't really talked but that’’.

Dean looks angry ’’You're kidding, you just let him go off by himself?’’. I answered him “He was dead set on it.’’ Dean then looks at us both like we had betrayed him ’’you guys should've been looking after him.’’ Bobby then defends us as he should. ’’we tried. These last months haven't been exactly easy, you know. For all of us. We had to bury you.’’ Dean of course questioned why he was buried ’’Why did you bury me, anyway?’’

I hesitated to answer because I knew what he would think ’’We wanted you salted and burned. Usual drill. But... Sam wouldn't have it.’’ ‘’ Well, I'm glad he won that one’’ I hope he doesn't jump to conclusions that were not good. ‘’He said you'd need a body when he got you back home somehow. That's about all he said.’’ And by his look, I knew Dean had jumped to a bad conclusion. Now Dean looked worried ’’Oh, damnit, Sammy.’’ Oh no, I thought.

’’What’’ Bobby asked. ‘’Oh, he got me home okay. But whatever he did, it is bad mojo.’’ I tried to stop his jumping. ‘’What makes you so sure?’’ Dean never looked so sure in his life. ’’You should have seen the grave site. It was like a nuke went off. And then there was this... this force, this presence, I don't know, but it, it blew past me at a fill-up joint. And then this.’’ He pulled up his sleeve and there was this branding of a hand mark on his shoulder.

Bobby and I were both shocked.’’It was like a demon just yanked me out. Or rode me out.’’Bobby questions when I already knew what he was thinking ’’But why’’.’’ To hold up their end of the bargain.’’ Dean says a matter of factly.’’You think Sam made a deal.’’ Bobby said. “It's what I would have done.’’ ’’ We don’t know it was that it could have been something good.’’ I said with the hope he might think with it for once ‘’Come on y/n when has it ever been something good.’’ of course.

Dean looked all over our makeshift bar. ’’Like we said it’s been some difficult months’’ I said trying to defend us. ‘’ You never drank this much before’’ I kind of just laugh it off. '’well when both of your brothers die in horrible ways, I don’t think there is much else to do.’’ Dean looks hurt for a second.’’ Y/n-’’ “It’s okay Dean let’s just find Sam’’ I say, giving A small smile to him. ‘’ Ok, he answers with hesitation.

‘’Ok, his location is Pontiac, Illinois. He should still be there I just got this text yesterday.’’ Dean looked a little shocked.’’ Sam's in Pontiac, Illinois.’’ Bobby realizes it too.’’ Right near where you were planted.’’ ‘’ Right, where I popped up. Hell of a coincidence, don't you think?’’ We all get ready to go and I take a moment to myself still trying to process Dean's back from Hell and that someone has to be listening in heaven …right?

We all walk down this dingy little motel hall and I would not be surprised if there are some mystery stains on it. We Knock on the door and a young woman answers looking at us like we're missing something.’’So where is it?’’ she asked. We all look confused at each other. “Where's what?’’ I asked with a kind smile. She looked annoyed. ’’The pizza... that takes three people to deliver?’’ when Dean realizes no way this is Sam’s room said ’’I think we got the wrong room.’’ Then we hear the voice that belonged to my other brother who acted like he was dead and never would respond to me.

’’Hey is…’’ Sam looks at Dean like he saw a ghost which would not be a crazy theory for us. Dean being Dean says ‘’Heya, Sammy’’ Sam looks happy For a Second then he attacks Dean.’’Who are you?! Sam shouted. Then Dean shouted back “Like you didn't do this?!’’ then we hear his response and it was the happiest then I've been in a while.’’Do what?!’’ I step in before they start swiping knives again. ’’It's him. It's him. We've been through this already, it's really him.’’

They both step back stare and then hug like seeing each other for the first time in a while which was true. Sam stares at Dean wondering what we all did. ’’I know. I look fantastic, huh?’’ They hug more. Then I think for the woman this must be so confusing.’’So are you two like... together?’’ I answered for them.’’NO no, we are all siblings.’’ Then it got awkward. ’’Uh... got it. I... I guess. Look, I should probably go.’’ Sam suddenly remembers that he was on a ‘’date’’ with her walks her to the door.’’ So call me’’ she said hopefully. Then more sympathy comes from me when Sam said ’’Yeah. Yeah, sure thing, Kathy.’’ she said back ‘’Kristy’’ dang sorry Kathy that just happens when dating a hunter oops sorry I mean Kristy. Sam answers awkwardly ’’right’’.

I can already tell Dean wants to rip into Sam.’’So tell me, what'd it cost?’’ Sam looks amused’ “The girl?” I don't pay, Dean.’’ I grimace a little at that line. ’’That's not funny, Sam. To bring me back. What'd it cost? Was it just your soul, or was it something worse?’’ Sam looks offended’ “You think I made a deal?’’ I spoke up ’’That's exactly what they think. Sam, please tell them you didn’t.’’ I said when tears start building up .’’Well, I didn't.’’ I got relieved. Dean of course does not believe him.” “Don't lie to me.’’ Dean keeps on going. ”So what now, I'm off the hook and you're on, is that it? You're some demon's bitch-boy? I didn't want to be saved like this.’’

Then Sam said something that broke my heart all over again. ’’Look, Dean, I wish I had done it, all right?’’ I get angry. ”What do you mean you wished you had gotten to deal!?”. Dean grabs Sam again. ’’There's no other way that this could have gone down. Now tell the truth!’’ ‘’I tried everything. That's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate. Hell, I tried to bargain, Dean, but no demon would deal, all right? You were rotting in Hell for months. For months, and I couldn't stop it. So I'm sorry it wasn't me, all right? Dean, I'm sorry.’’ Dean let Sam go. ’’It's okay, Sammy. You don't have to apologize, I believe you.’’ I speak up again. ’’Great Sam still has his Soul, Sam What if you had dealt with it? Did you ever think about what it would do to me again!?’’ Sam finally looks at me. ”y/n Im sorry it's just I couldn't let Dean die.’’ ‘’ What and you're any better to die!?” I don’t let him answer and I storm out and slam the door behind me.

I ran out of the motel trying to not scream out so people wouldn't think I was insane. So instead I kicked the Impala. I didn't care at that moment. I slid down the car just crying. Sadly I knew why Sam had done it hell I might have done it myself if Bobby and I weren’t busy keeping up our bar. And it’s like someone knew that I was in distress and put their hand on me calmly. It’s a little bit funny with the job I do because before Dean died I didn't really believe in heaven, angels, God. But I thought why not try. I mean it might be possible, demons were real. So I prayed to something and it looked like something answered back.

Sam’s POV:

The boys all were silent for a Second after she left the room Dean speaks first. ’’You know she’s right it’s not any better if you die, to her were some of her only family left and you didn’t call her back what was more important than your little sister!’’ Sam looked irritated ’’I was grieving you Dean I was trying to not totally destroy myself, so I needed some time away I'm sorry.’’ Sam said lying straight through his teeth wishing that Dean doesn't notice it. ‘’Well yeah, but I'm not the one you need to say sorry to.’’

Y/n’s POV:

I walked back to the room calming myself so that as soon I walked in, I wouldn't slap Sam. I walk into Dean picking up a lacy bra and saying. ’’Oh yeah. I really feel your pain.’’ They all stare at me like a deer in headlights. ’’So, this is why you couldn't pick up the phone because ‘’Kathy’’ needed a bra fitting.’’ I said ready to slap Sam again, calm be damned. Sam gets the guts and looks at me ’’y/n I'm sorry I was just grieving, and I needed to have some time to myself and for the deal, it was right after I was running high on emotions, and now realize how dumb I was, and how happy I am it didn't work.’’ I look up at his goofy smile and bring him in for a hug. “You're forgiven but don't ever do it again. And I hope you all know it hurts just as well if any of you would God forbid die, I love you all.’’ They all get smiles and responded back. ’’love you too y/n.’’

“So, I was checking these demons out of Tennessee, and out of nowhere they took a hard left, booked up here.’’ And Dean asked what we were all thinking. ’’When?’’ Sam answered back’ “Yesterday morning.’’ Again, the dots started to connect ’’When Dean busted out’’ I said. Bobby speaking for all of us said '' You think these demons are here 'because of you?’’ ‘’But why?’’ Sam said. I felt like I was in an episode of Scooby Doo but instead of pulling a mask off a monster with some teenagers and a talking dog, we were trying to figure out what pulled Dean out of hell.

’’Well, I don't know – some badass demon drags me out, and now this? It's gotta be connected somehow.’’ I don’t blame Dean for saying that because it usually is something bad but for once it might be something good well I'm hoping it is.’’How you feelin', anyway?’’ Bobby asked. Dean being Dean again answered ’’I'm a little hungry.’’ I laugh at that I missed his humor. ’’No, I mean, do you feel like yourself? Anything strange, or different?’’ Bobby said a little annoyed at his answer. ’’Or demonic? Bobby, how many times do I have to prove I'm me?’’ Dean said.

‘’Listen, Dean, we believe you but no demon's letting you loose out of the goodness of their hearts. They've gotta have something nasty planned.’’ I said trying to comfort him. ’’Well, I feel fine.’’ Dean said putting his defenses back down.

’’Okay, look, we don't know what they're planning. We got a pile of questions and no shovel. We need help.’’ Sam says and he was right we were all lost on what happened.” I know a psychic. A few hours from here. Something this big, maybe she's heard the other side talking.’’ Bobby said he always seems to have an answer for anything. ’’I think it’s worth a shot it has to’’ I say with a little ambition.’’ Hell yeah, it's worth a shot.’’ Dean answered back.

Bobby gets up to call the psychic and leaves the room. Dean gets up to follow him, but Sam stops him” Hey, wait You probably want this back ’’He gives him back the amulet that he always wore no matter the day. Sam wanted me to have it when he died but I couldn't. I just couldn't. “Thanks” Dean said looking happy that his little brother would keep it. ’’Hey Dean, what was it like?’’

Sam asked what Bobby and I had both asked, but I still had this small inkling that Dean could lie about it. ’’What, Hell? I don't know, I, I must have blacked it out. I don't remember a damn thing.” Dean said again and it’s like he's performing a line to confirm it to himself. ’’Well, thank God for that.’’ Sam said happily that his brother didn't remember hell. Dean answered a small ’’yeah’’ back and I got a chilling feeling that he was not telling us everything.

Dean and I were in the room. He was in the bathroom splashing water on his face and I was making some crappy motel coffee. When I walk past the bathroom he was just staring at himself in Which looks like confusion. In that instant, I wish that he was truly okay and that he was not putting up a front for his little brother and sister.

Bobby got the okay from the physic for us to come. ’’She's about four hours down the Interstate. Try to keep up.’’ Bobby said making me laugh he always did. ’’I assume you'll want to drive.’’ Sam said tossing Dean the keys. We all get in baby like nothing ever did change. ”What the hell is that?’’ I look at the middle of the console and try to hold back my laugh but fail.’’That Dean is the newest iPod jack it looks like Sammy turned baby into a frat car.’’ I said laughing uncontrollably. ” shut it y/n.’’

Dean said half joking half serious.’’You were supposed to take care of her, not douche her up.’’ Dean now looks betrayed at a whole different level now. ’’Dean, I thought it was my car.’’ Sam said. Then Dean starts baby up and I laugh even more as Vision starts playing and Dean looks with the most annoyed saying “Really”. Then he throws it back, almost hitting me.” Hey watch it you don’t to damage Sammy’s frat playlist”. I said laughing with a smile for the first time in a while.

It’s been about an hour on the road trip, and I take in every second like it’s last as I make a promise to myself to never take these two for granted again. ’’There's still one thing that's bothering me.’’

Dean said. Sam and I both said ’’Yeah?’’. ’’Yeah, the night that I bit it. Or... got bit.’’ Dean said with a bit of a chuckle I personally think it's too soon for those jokes. ’’How'd you guys make it out? I thought Lilith was going to kill you.’’ He said looking at Sam. ’’Well, she tried. She couldn't.” Dean looks puzzled.

Sam spoke again. ”She fired this, like, burning light at me, and... didn't leave a scratch. Like I was immune or something.’’ ‘’Yeah, and Sam jumped in front of me to protect me from the blast.” I say to answer how I was here. ’’Immune?’’ Dean questioned. ’’Yeah. I don't know who was more surprised, her or us. She left pretty fast after that.’’

Then Dean brings Ruby up. ”Huh. What about Ruby, where is she?” Sam answered. ”Dead. For now.” I secretly celebrated that in my head.’’So you've been using your, uh, freaky ESP stuff?” Sam answered a little too fast for my liking.”No”. ”You sure about that? Well, I mean, now that you've got... immunity, whatever the hell that is... just wondering what other kind of weirdo crap you've got going on.” Dean inquired about that and I don't blame him. ”Nothing, Dean. Look, you didn't want me to go down that road, so I didn't go down that road. It was practically your dying wish.’’ Sam said making sure to shut that down. Dean needed to be sure said ”Yeah, well, let's keep it that way.’’ Now why did I get that feeling again that my brother is lying?

As we pull up to Pamela’s house I get this feeling of excitement and fear at the same time. We all get out of our cars and we walk up and knock on her door. A woman about in her thirties answers with a big smile.” Bobby!” she grabs him tight.

The three of us share a look.” You're a sight for sore eyes.’’ Bobby said to her with a smile to match hers. Pamela steps back a little and looks at both of my brothers like they are pieces of meat. ”So, these the Winchesters” she says with approval. ”Sam, Dean, y/n This is Pamela Barnes, best damn psychic in the state” Naturally Dean answered with a flirty “Hey”. Sam answered like the nerd he is with an awkward “Hi”. And I answered with a” Hi Pamela, nice to meet you”. “I like you, I can already tell.” she told me back.

After she looks back at Dean. ”Mmm-mmm-mmm. Dean Winchester. Out of the fire and back in the frying pan, huh? Makes you a rare individual.” Dean took that comment in.” If you say so.” We go in, this is the moment either we confirm it’s something bad or good please God let it be Good.

“So, you hear anything?’’ Bobby probes. ”Well, I Ouija'd my way through a dozen spirits. No one seems to know who broke your boy out, or why.” I questioned. ” So what’s next?” “A séance, I think. See if we can see who did the deed.’’ ’’You're not gonna... summon the damn thing here..’’ Bobby said.

“No. I just want to get a sneak peek at it. Like a crystal ball without the crystal.” I was already ready for this to be over with how much adrenal was going through my body without even starting yet. Dean responded with a cocky “I'm game”.

We enter the seance room and Pamela goes to get her crystal ball. Both boys' eyes lay on her lower back. ”Who’s Jesse” Dean says I smack him on the head for it. He looks down at me and I look right back and he backs down. ”Well, it wasn't forever.’’ I am glad she laughed it off because I didn't want him to upset her, by saying that.

Dean goes into what I like to call Flirt Dean mode. ”His loss.” I am starting to get a sense that Papemla is a lot like Dean because she says back “Might be your gain.” Dean looks like a kid in a candy store “Dude, I am so in.” I laugh at his eagerness ”Yeah, she's gonna eat you alive’’

Dean took it as a challenge “Hey, I just got out of jail. Bring it.’’ Pamela passing said to Sam ‘You're invited too, grumpy.” Dean let him know he was not invited.

We are all sitting around the table holding hands as Pamela starts. ”I need to touch something our mystery monster touched.’’ She says as she goes to touch Dean’s thigh he jumps. ” Whoa. Well, he didn't touch me there.” My mistake” she said. Dean then takes off his jacket showing everyone the hand brand. Pamela reaches over, holds the brand, and starts to chant as we close our eyes.

”I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle.

I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle.

I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle.” I then start to feel this warm glow coming over me like the hand from before. “I invoke, conjure, and command... Castiel? No. Sorry, Castiel, I don't scare easy.’’ Castiel so that's its name. How interesting.

“Its name. It's whispering to me, warning me to turn back.’’ ’’I conjure and command you, show me your face.

I conjure and command you, show me your face.

I conjure and command you, show me your face.”

Pamela keeps chanting. I don't like how this is going. ”Maybe we should stop.” Everything is shaking more. “ I almost got it.

I command you, show me your face!

Show me your face now!’’ I'll give it to her because she is one brave woman.

Suddenly She screams and a powerful white light comes from her eyes’’ Bobby grabs her to the floor and she is sobbing’’ I can't see! I can't see! Oh god!’’ Sam calls Nine one one in the background. So I guess it was a bad thing.

As we sat in the diner I just felt so stupid for thinking maybe it could be more than the shit I have to deal with every day. Dean was ordering for us. I didn't even hear him calling me.”y/n?” “ huh oh sorry I was just thinking about everything. I should have known Dean that it was something bad I should have listened .’’ He looks at his little sister. ”Look y/n it might have been something bad but you thinking differently is one of my favorite things about you don’t ever change that.” I smile at him already falling back into his big brother role.

Sam comes back in with news about Pamela. ”Pam's stable. And out of I.C.U.” “And blind, because of us.” Dean said not wrong.” I groan ”And we still have no clue who we're dealing with.” Sam says.” That's not entirely true.” I looked at Dean with interest “We got a name. Castiel, or whatever. With the right mumbo-jumbo, we could summon him, bring him right to us.” “I agree we can figure out what's going on” Sam looks at both of us.”You're both crazy. Absolutely not.” “We'll work him over. I mean, after what he did?” Dean said back to me nodding with him.”Pam took a peek at him and her eyes burned out of her skull, and you guys want to have a face-to-face ?” I answer for both of us.”You got a better idea?” Sam looked a little offended at that.”Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do. I followed some demons to town, right?” Dean and I both said “Okay”.”So, we go find them. Someone's gotta know something about something.’’ I mean I guess but I want to confront this thing.

The waitress comes over and places the food in front of us. I thank her. ”Thank you”. She then pulls a chair up like she was going to pour water on herself in stripper style. ”You angling for a tip?’’ Dean says weirdly. “I'm sorry. Thought you were looking for us.’’ She then pulls an uno reverse on us by flashing her eyes black and everyone else does the same. She turns towards Dean. ”Dean. To hell and back. Aren't you a lucky duck.’’ Dean is not backing down. ”That's me.” So you get to just stroll out of the pit, huh? Tell me. What makes you so special?” Dean responded back with one of his zingers. ”I like to think it's because of my perky nipples. I don't know. Wasn't my doing, I don't know who pulled me out. ”Lying is a sin” She said not believing Dean.

”I'm not lying. But I'd like to find out, so if you wouldn't mind enlightening me, Flo…” “ Mind your tone with me, boy. I'll drag you back to hell myself.” Sam is about ready to stab the demon I stop him.”No. No, you won’t because if you were you would have done it already. Fact is, you don't know who cut him loose. And you're just as spooked as we are. And you're looking for answers. Well, maybe it was some turbo-charged spirit. Or, uh, Godzilla. Or some big bad boss demon. I'm guessing at your pay grade that they don't tell you squat. Because whoever it was, they want him out. And they're a lot stronger than you. So go ahead. Send him back. But don't come crawling to us when they show up on your front doorstep with some Vaseline and a fire hose.”

I said defending us. Dean and Sam both look proud and probably wondering what happened to the shy girl from before. She tries to challenge that. “I'm going to reach down your throat and rip out your lungs.” Dean looks right at her throwing her two punches. He leans down and said. “That's what I thought. Let's go, guys”. We get up to leave and I leave money for the pie and a tip “For the pie.” I said and leave with my brothers.

We walk out of the diner and me feeling like I just took on Godzilla myself. “Holy crap, that was close.” Dean said again, not wrong.”We're not just going to leave them in there, are we, Guys?” “well yeah, there's three probably more and one knife between us”. I answered. Then Sam said something that leaves me with more questions. ”I've been killing a lot more demons than that lately.”

“Not anymore – the smarter brother's back in town.” Dean says feeling protective over us like we were little again.”Guys, we've got to take 'em. They are dangerous.’’ “I mean yes they are dangerous but we are not stupid okay we will get them, Sam.” I said trying to be encouraging. “Y/n’s right. They're scared. Okay? Scared of whatever had the juice to yank me out. We're dealing with a bad mofo here. One job at a time.”

When we got back to the motel I had to get some sleep or I was going to fall over. As I doze off I start to hear this low rumble and the tv turn back to the same static that happened at Pamela's house. I wake to this loud high-pitched noise getting louder and louder I look over to the bed for Sam but the bed is empty.

I grab my gun but it hurts so much that I have to get into a fetal position and hold my ears. While that was going on the glass around me started to shake and break sending shards into my skin. But at the same time, I felt the same warm glow again from before. I thought what the hell? The door bursts open to Dean and Bobby yelling ”Y/n!”. They take to save me from the room.

The three of us pile into Bobby’s truck and zoom down the road. ”How ya doing kid’’ Bobby asked from looking in the middle mirror to me.”Well, except it feels like the looney tunes are dropping weights in my head just great” I said with a bit of sarcasm. “I mean guys I have never experienced anything like that before.” Dean and Bobby both look at each with knowing looks. ”I have when I first popped out it sounded like that.”

Dean tells me. I said what we're all thinking ”What the hell is going on first with you and now me what kind of monster does that?” ”I don’t know but we're going to find out.” He said as he was pulling out his phone. I assumed he was going to call Sam because that was another thing where was he during all of this. I hear his voice speak. ”What are you doing?” “ In my car?” “Well, uh, Bobby's back. We're going to grab a beer with y/n” I look at him knowing what we were going to do. If he was lying now. “Done. Catch you later.’’

“Why the hell didn't you tell him?” Bobby asked. “Because he would just try to stop us.” I answered. ”From what?” “ Summoning this thing. It's time we faced it head-on.” Dean said nonchalantly.”You can't be serious!” I get Bobby’s concern but we need to do this. ”Well, we don't know what it is. It could be a demon, it could be anything.” “ That's why we've got to be ready for anything.’’ Dean said pulling out the demon knife. ”Bobby, you have every weapon for anything in your trunk.”

I say trying to calm down him and try to confirm to myself it’s not totally crazy.”This is a bad idea.” Bobby said,” Yeah, we couldn't agree more, but what other choice do we have?” I said. “We could choose life” Bobby was not wrong ”Bobby, whatever this is, whatever it wants, it's after me. Maybe y/n for some reason. That much we know, right? We've got no place to hide. We can either get caught with our pants down again, or we can make our stand.’’ Dean said. “Dean, we could use Sam on this.” “Nah, he's better off where he is.” I sigh to myself thinking when would my brothers learn to share instead of lying, probably never.

We found this abandoned warehouse and decide it was the perfect place. At the same time, I was painting sigils and devil traps everywhere. I thought this is it I am going to find out what this thing was and why it felt so familiar and so different at the same time. We were now just waiting for this thing to show its face. “You sure you did the ritual right?” Dean questions Bobby. In response, a look of you you're talking to. ”Sorry. Touchy, touchy, huh?” I smirk.

Like something heard Dean the walls start shaking violently and the wind gets louder. “Wishful thinking, but maybe it's just the wind.” Dean said. Just then the doors to the warehouse blow open to a man who looks like to me belongs in Men’s Health magazine which is confusing as hell. At the same time, the bulbs of lights are exploding like fireworks.”Who are you?” Dean asks half scared. “I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.” The man answered, well that tells us a lot I think with sarcasm. ”Yeah. Thanks for that.”

Dean said and then takes out the demon Knife and surprises me by stabbing the man. The man barely looks bothered and pulls the knife out like it was nothing. Bobby tries to attack him from behind and the man does not even look and stops the attack and swings Bobby around and toches Bobby and he falls to the floor in a sleep-like state. The man then turns to the both of us .”We need to talk, Dean, y/n. Alone” He said with a determination like I have never heard before.

Dean goes over to check on Bobby glaring at the man.”Your friend's alive.”The man said letting us know. “Who are you” I ask hoping to get an answer to this madness.”Castiel.” Castiel said while staring at me and while staring back it felt like the eyes of a friend.

”Yeah, I figured that much, I mean what are you?” Dean said with annoyance.”I'm an Angel of the Lord.” Castiel answers back with the greatest news ever to me at least.”Get the hell out of here. There's no such thing.” Dean said. “Dean come on with everything that has happened you can't believe that at all?” I ask him ”This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith.” Castiel says with thunder striking and the lighting casting giant shadows of wings.

“Well, there's your proof, Dean,” I tell him. He glares at me and turns to Castiel ”Some angel you are. You burned out that poor woman's eyes.’’ Castiel looks ashamed of that. ”I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be... overwhelming to humans, and so can my real voice. But you already knew that.” He explains.” “ So that was you, why did you try talking to me?” I ask curious. “That was my mistake. Certain people, special people, can perceive my true visage. I thought you both could be one of them. I was wrong. I was trying to see if you could hear me as well Im sorry If that hurt you.” He told me while looking at me with those blue eyes. “And what visage are you in now, huh? What, holy tax accountant?’’

Dean asked which is valid. “This? This is... a vessel.” Castiel answered. ”You're possessing some poor bastard?’ Dean Keeps on going. ”He's a devout man, he actually prayed for this.” Huh, I thought interesting. “Uh-huh. Y'know, it might've been easier to show up like this the first time instead of all the burning bush crap.” “ Finding a human vessel durable enough to contain me... it's not easy.” Castiel said. He must be pretty powerful if he needs that to happen.”I have that same problem with women.” Ew did not need to hear that from my brother. ”Look, pal, I'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you really?” Castiel looks confused.

“I told you.” I chuckle at that. ”He means why would an angel rescue him from hell” I told him. “Good things do happen, Dean,y/n .” I mean they have to if Dean is standing here alive. ”Not usually in our experience.” Dean answered. “What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved?” Castiel said while looking at him with what looked like sympathy. It also broke my heart. ”Why'd you do it?” Dean asked what we have all been wondering. Castiel responds with the vaguest answer ever. ”Because God commanded it. Because we have work for you.”

#castiel x reader #castiel #castiel x y/n #spn fanfic #dean winchester #sam winchester #team free will #spnfandom #supernatural #Supernatural Season 4 #castiel x you #Castiel x reader series masterlist #bobby singer #bobby spn #cas spn #cas x reader #cas x y/n #Spotify

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bengiyo · 11 months

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La Pluie and the Exploration of Romance, Competence, and Queerness

It’s Sunday, so you know I had to get an essay in about this eighth episode of La Pluie. This week I want to dive into the ways that La Pluie is interrogating the nature of Romance as a genre, the ways it enables its characters to be competent, and how all this plays into its specific queer ideas.

All of the gifs in the post were borrowed from my good friend @liyazaki who I am most happy to have convinced to join us in watching this show.

The Rain Connection and Lomfon

I want to get this out of the way first, because we don’t know enough for me to want to spend a ton of time speculating on this. We know that there aren’t a lot of people in the world with Rain-Based Hearing Loss, and we know that only a small subsection of them have a connection with other people.

screenshot by @respectthepetty

When Lomfon falls here, it seems like he has the same pain we saw Tai experience the first time he developed a connection with Patts on his 20th birthday. Thus far, we don’t know if Lomfon has experienced hearing loss in his life. We were discussing this yesterday, and @lurkingshan went back to look at the café scene with Lomfon in episode 5, and it didn’t seem like Lomfon experienced hearing loss when it began raining there.

What I think is most significant about Lomfon suddenly developing a connection with seemingly Patts and Tai (this show has not tried to misdirect or trick us up to this point, so I am choosing to read the scene as if he heard both of them until we get new information) is that Lomfon has thus far been the most vocal skeptic about the societal assumptions that people connected by hearing loss should be in romantic relationships with each other. I think this will bring significant drama into the plot because he’s been developing something with Tien, and it will challenge Tien to have feelings for someone with a rain connection to someone else.

I’m not even reading into this as a throuple, because this show has expressed clearly that soulmates are an opportunity more than anything else, and the nature of this story and its references to the MacKade brothers assures me that this is going to be about two couples. @lurkingshan and @ginnymoonbeam already covered the rest of this as well.

Everyone is Competent, and Everyone is Valid

One of my favorite things about this show thus far is that no one has been especially stupid about their feelings. The most dramatic and dangerous thing anyone has done so far was Tai trying to climb a mountain on his own and realizing quickly that he had made a huge mistake.

We learn that Tai understood exactly what had happened with Nara kissing Patts and was not mad about it. He was upset that it felt like their soulmate connection ruined a genuinely good relationship Patts and Nara, and he questioned the veracity of his and Patts’ feelings for each other. Moreover, the show allows Nara to be upset about her rejection. Her feelings and her relationship with Patts were real and deserving of respect. She is also a character who possesses grace, and insists that Patts find Saengtai even though the two of them just had an emotionally devastating final breakup.

Patts realizes within minutes what Saengtai had done and immediately sets about looking for him. Even if the other vet should have reconsidered sending Saengtai into that situation with Patts and Nara, everyone responded appropriately to the crisis by trying to search for Saengtai and predict his behaviors in a crisis. Kung, who says she’s responsible for them, detailed the dangers of the mountain and made a vehicle available to them immediately.

As for Tien, he’s a hot-headed guy, and blamed himself for not recognizing what his brother would do right away. Lomfon also talks him down from running after his brother with logic as well. When Tien finally reunites with his brother, he sternly chides him for running into danger before collapsing on his brother.

In every episode before this, I have really enjoyed how everyone has been good at their jobs and operating from a believable emotional space. Little conflict on this show has felt contrived, and I’ve enjoyed how each challenge extends naturally from the setting itself and the initial plot seeds surrounding Tai’s parents’ divorce.

Our Expectations of Romance

Probably my favorite thing about La Pluie has been the way it grapples with the nature of Romance itself. Though the show has been explicit in its skepticism about destined romance, everything in this show says that we’ll end up with two couples. Everyone in this is a character in a story with a role to play in its narrative.

Multiple characters, like us in the audience, have already assumed that Patts and Tai are endgame because of their rain connection. Tien already treats Patts like his brother-in-law. Tai’s dad already teased about the accelerated pace of a soulmate relationship. Bow came on this trip to make sure Tai makes (sexual) progress with Patts. Multiple members of the vet crew have teased Patts about his concern for Saengtai. Yet, it’s this presumption that has been the primary struggle of their relationship so far.

How fascinating is it that the primary drama of a couple in a romance is that everyone (including the audience) expects them to get together as a foregone conclusion? What are the emotional underpinnings of their relationship that will give them the tools to succeed in the long term? It’s that concern that makes Tai so cautious about moving forward with Patts. He’s worried he’ll make the same mistakes his parents made.

The run up the mountain was necessary for Saengtai as a character, because he needed to face himself. He finally reached the conclusion that many of us reached weeks ago. But as the song says, “no one else can feel it for you; only you can let it in.”

And isn’t that also the point? Does it matter if they’re supposed to be together or not? What matters is they choose each other.

Patts is such a gentle man. He is incredibly patient, and the kind of partner I think Saengtai has hoped for his whole life. This is the man who doesn’t yell at him for endangering himself, sits quietly as Saengtai finally unloads all of the fears and doubts he’s struggled with, and makes sure that Saengtai gets all of the moments he’s hoped for in his life by asking him the question even if we all know the answer already, because Patts is a man who understands that it’s important to do things right.

And how does Tai respond to that moment? By giving them and us what we all need:

Let me just say again while we’re here that I love the way these two kiss. I love the way each kiss has been choreographed. You can track the beats of their relationship through their intimate scenes.

Look at this! We’ve been begging for couple kisses for years, and really only Bad Buddy has given them to us.

It’s just so important that the characters earned the understanding together that what matters most for them is that they love each other (@lurkingshan).

On To the Gay Stuff

I’m not the first person to talk about the inherent queerness of the rain connection. Tai and Patts have both expressed that they would choose not to have this condition if possible. For many of us who grew up queer, that feeling will be extremely familiar. I certainly screamed, prayed, and hoped that I wouldn’t be this way when I first started noticing it within myself at eight years old and throughout my entire adolescence. Yet what matters is how we choose to live with it.

I don’t care if Patts and Tai are destined soul mates, or just two compatible guys who will have this strange connection for the rest of their lives (and maybe with Lomfon too??). What matters to me is they stared at the hand they were dealt and chose to build something they can both enjoy together.

What I really hope we get in the final third of this show is Tai coming to terms with his parents’ divorce. I hope my theory that Tai’s dad is queer is correct, and I hope that Tai learns to respect the choice they’ve made. I hope that if Lomfon is in their rain connection long term, they all find a way to find peace with that, especially for Tien’s sake.

As a queer viewer, I enjoy shows the most when they feel like they come from a space that queer people specifically experience. This show uses the expectations that the world places on who we’re supposed to be with and how we’re supposed to live as a way to replicate the experience of heteronormativity, and still lets these two men choose each other.

La Pluie is a special show in a year of special shows. I have no idea how we’re going to handle awards when we do the VIIB Awards on @the-conversation-pod at the end of the year, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop talking about this show.

Thank you for coming to my post.