#dissociative disorder tw | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thecorvidforest · 9 months

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boy it would be nice to be able to google something related to personality disorders, psychosis, intellectual disabilities, autism, DID/OSDD, etcetera without finding majority articles that are like “how to deal with a person with X” “how to cope with your child with X” “how to spot someone faking X” “can people with X be cured?”

#corvidforest vent post #i wish ppl would stop acting like it’s some awful traumatizing burden to know us #dissociative identity disorder #did system #osdd #personality disorder #intellectual disability #psychosis #vent #vent post #tw vent

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psychocitysblog · 1 year

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I wake up everyday just waiting to go back to bed.

#kinda depressing #depressing shit #this is depressing #bpd #bpd shit #depressing life #sorry for being depressing #tw depressing thoughts #actually bpd #bpd mood #childhood ptsd #ptsd problems #living with ptsd #ptsd #ptsdlife #trauma #dissociative identity disorder #help help help

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lifexxxdeath · 1 year

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oh no! my symptoms aren't fitting your romanticized narrative again!

#tw self deprecation #tw rant #actually dissociative #dissociative identities #dissociative identity disorder #bpd mood #actually multiple #actually traumagenic #traumagenic system

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thexspiral · 3 months

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I'm being so real with you all, stop trying to appeal to fakeclaimers.

I am diagnosed with DID, in treatment, have an extremely covert presentation, and pretty much ONLY talk about having DID online. I got the trauma to show for it, which I've been open about before, and I'm heading for final fusion. I don't get mad when people fakeclaim me and just shrug it off bc I know I'm not.

I still get fakeclaimed.

You're never gonna win. You're always gonna be faking in their eyes, whether you are or aren't. No matter how many qualifications you have, they will never believe you.

So just stop trying. Be yourself, be weird about it.

#scott rambles #did #osdd #osddid #actually did #system #multiple #did system #dissociative system #did osdd #plural #traumagenic #traumagenic system #actually traumagenic #actually dissociative #dissociative identity disorder #system positivity #fakeclaiming #tw fakeclaiming

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subsystems · 27 days

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There's been a lot of harmful invalidation and misinformation floating around trauma spaces lately about the cause of complex dissociative disorders like DID. Please, let's put to rest the trauma olympics and claiming that certain childhood traumas are more "valid" than others. The childhood trauma that causes someone's DID does not need to be sexual or physical abuse, or even abuse at all.

From Understanding and Treating Dissociative Identity Disorder: A Relational Approach, by Elizabeth Howell (pages xvii - xviii):

"DID is usually the outcome of chronic and severe childhood trauma, which can include physical and sexual abuse, extreme and recurrent terror, repeated medical trauma, and extreme neglect. Pathological dissociation generally results from being psychically overwhelmed by trauma. . . . However, the traumatic experiences that may result in dissociative disorders do not always stem from sexual, physical, or emotional abuse. Disorganized attachment which often underlies the dissociative structure of dissociative disorders . . . may result from overwhelming experiences in the infant's interpersonal environment that are not caused by parental maltreatment. Parental illness, depression, or problematic attachment styles may be psychically overwhelming and lead to disorganized attachment. In addition, medical trauma may be dissociogenic. For example, some dissociative patients have reported histories of chronic medical problems and hospitalizations that involved severe pain and unavoidable separations from well-meaning parents. Medical trauma may involve both the chronic and severe pain of certain diseases and conditions as well as painful procedures intended to remediate these medical conditions. Some dissociative adult patients have reported the trauma of being left alone to suffer their pain as children in the hospital. Such children may be additionally confused by the fact that their parents are either hurting them, as part of necessary medical interventions or allowing others to hurt them . . ."

You can find a free download of this book and others [here]. I highly recommend reading it, it's one of my favorite books on DID. If you're able to, please consider purchasing a copy of it to support the author too!

Anyways, if you're reading this and you've been harmed by the recent influx of trauma invalidation, please know that I'm here for you. I believe you. Your trauma is REAL and it was ENOUGH to cause your disorder. You were a child and no child deserves to go through trauma. No one.

#sunflower posts #actuallydid #actuallyosdd #actuallycdd #actuallytraumagenic #actuallydissociative #actuallytraumatized #syscourse #dissociative identity disorder #dissociation #complex dissociative disorder #did support #did informative #trauma tw #abuse tw

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vixensofdeath · 8 months

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every day it gets harder to live. I get out of bed and don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know who I am, I don’t know what I want or need. I simply do not exist.

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sage-hazeline · 1 year

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how do you reconnect to life after being disconnected for so long

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theresidentfullmoon · 6 months

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POV: You're a system.

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cemetery-drive-sys · 3 months

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tw // mentions of abuse (no in depth descriptions)

You can be a system if you haven't gone through physical abuse.

You can be a system if you haven't gone through sexual abuse.

Trauma comes in many, many different forms. For us it was a family member becoming repeatedly sick during our childhood and a few other more minor things, most notably a bit of unintentional emotional / psychological abuse.

You do not need to remember your trauma. You do not need to have "super severe" trauma.

Children are extremely susceptible to trauma. If someone ever tells you that your trauma "isn't bad enough," they're wrong. You are valid. Your experiences are valid. You are allowed to be upset.

- 🕸️

#endos dni #anti endo #did osdd #tw abuse #osddid #dissociative identity disorder #pdid system #pdid #partial did #dissociative system

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thecorvidforest · 6 months

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Plurality Wrapped

This year you:

Fakeclaimed yourself 5,729 times

Accidentally discovered 92 trauma memories

Immediately forgot 92 trauma memories

Contradicted something a different headmate said 288 times

Almost outed yourself 45 times

Had littles spend all your money 67 times

Forgot what you were doing 2,890 times

Failed to mask as the host 176 times

Split who knows how many new headmates

Repeated the same story 39 times

Got jumpscared by your reflection 103 times

Your top moods this year:

Who the fuck am I

What if I’m secretly faking it

How long have I been standing here dissociating

I suddenly hate (current activity)

When did we split (headmate)???

#corvidforest avian’s posts #dissociative identity disorder #did system #osdd #other specified dissociative disorder #osdd 1a #osdd 1b #traumagenic safe #unreality #tw unreality #maybe #tagging it just to be safe

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lefluoritesys · 10 months

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TW: talk about physical abuse

Friendly reminder that physical abuse isn't just hitting or throwing something at someone. It's also knowing that you are injured and making you walk around for hours. It's putting you through physical labour that is causing you physical harm. Anything they make you do that causes you physical harm is physical abuse. Don't put it in a box. (At least for the sake of your own mental health)

-physical protector & external soother

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theswiftheartsystem · 10 days

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I don’t mean to say this to make anyone stressed, but this isn’t the time to be endo-neutral,

endogenic systems are being harassed in mass, and if we don’t come together to support our fellow systems we all fall.

bigotry is not something to be neutral on. It only benefits the bigots, and hurts the minority.

#cw syscourse #tw syscourse #syscourse #pro endo #did #did osdd #did system #endo friendly #endo safe #dissociative identity disorder #traumagenic system #actually plural

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pixieskie · 5 months

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˖˚˳⊹"i really do love you.. im sorry"˖˚˳⊹

-warnings: Angst, depress!on, su!c!dal thoughts, detachment, scars, body dysmorphia, disassociation, not proofread, chubby reader. -chars mentioned: Scaramouche -wc: 0.6k -a/n: i dont even know what to say.. Um this is .. something.. enjoy?

masterlist

as someone who felt every emotion more intense than others, it also meant feeling more sad. it should've been fine but you simply couldn't feel happy.. you have friends and family but still felt so lonely..

“helloooo” scaramouche waved his hand infront of your face to get your attention.

Suddenly looking up, you see him frowning at you. “what’re you thinking so hard about.. do you not wanna watch the movie?”

“sorry.. i just spaced out” you said embarrassed.. “just continue the movie, ill pay attention this time”.. Scara simply muttered a small ‘fine’ and resumed it.

Scaramouche is your best friend, the one you share everything with. But.. he could never understand the depth of your emotions.. The void you feel inside.. The aching loneliness that consumes you at every moment.

“Yes lets go to the beach!! itll be perf....”

“ooh i just bought a new bikini…..”

“wont it be too sunny? ill get tanne….”

you drowned out their conversation and thought of excuses to skip… you had no other choice.. a bikini wouldn't cover your scars, stretch marks or tummy fat.. it would be on display for everyone to see your insecurities and then they'd hate you.

“guys im sorry but i have to study this weekend.. exams are close”

“again? but didnt you say the same last week…”

“oh come on! itll be so fun…”

“ugh she does the same everytime…”

Ofcourse they wouldn't understand.. They had the perfect body..

The words were blurred as you tried to read them.. Nothing made sense to you anymore.. Your exams were near and you have to study but the words together don't make sense anymore..

Sighing, you went to splash some water on your face to wake yourself up. Looking up into the mirror, you saw failure.. Someone who cant study.. Someone who wouldnt be able to make a living..

You sat back down at your desk.. You can study and change your future right? its just a book..

But.. you cant make yourself read the words anymore.. you felt so tired..

Why cant you also be like others?.. Everyone else is so successful and perfect.. They have good grades, perfect body and happy lives..

You sat on the edge of the roof.. This used to be your hang out spot with Scara but eventually you both stopped meeting there.

“where the fuc- YOURE HERE?” Scara dramatically sighed, huffing. “Ive been searching all over for you. Come on, ive made dinner.. you have to eat something”

You chucked softly at his caring nature and nodded silently.. “Scara?” he was about to leave but turned back to look at you “yeah?”

“I love you”

He chuckled in confusion “yeah yeah i get it, i love you too. no need to get all sentimental with me, its just dinner.”

You turned back to the sky once he left. He probably went to your kitchen to fill a plate for you..

You smiled at the thought. He was the best person you could've asked for..

And it hurts. He cared for you so much but you couldn't appreciate it..

Leaving never had to be this painful.. But a tear fell down and you closed your eyes, recounting your memories..

There were so many happy moments you never got to enjoy.. Sad moments you stayed numb.. And the huge gap in your memory.. and nobody knew how you felt because you never let them.

‘Im so tired… Im so tired..” You looked at your feet, dangling off the roof.. ‘i hate this .. i dont wanna do this.. but theres nothing else to be done’

You took a deep breath in.. “i really do love you.. im sorry”...

…..

tags: @rubywonu @stygianoir @unsavoy-melon @kashiiwi @babbledabble25

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interstellarsystem · 5 months

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Experiences With Being Out as a System

So, our parents know we're a system. It's all good, they understand that when we suddenly speak like someone from London that it's just another guy taking the body for a spin real quick and that they don't need to question it too much.

The thing is... They don't know our names, or anything about us as individuals. We don't have enough open communication with them to actually discuss the inner-workings of the hundreds of little guys in our brain and who they are or what they like, but even if we did, it's not actually important to them. It almost seems like it's swept under the rug.

Our mother said that she doesn't get why she should have to know anyone else when we're all "us". We're all just a collective to her still, a bunch of bits that make up her child, even though she knows we're separate. Her child, the original, isn't here anymore. But the thing is.. some of us want to get to know her and the family individually. Even beyond just being seen as who we actually are, we want to be a part of it aside from being treated as someone who is gone. But it's not a thing they understand despite our explanations of what it means to us, even despite the fact they know the original is dormant and has been for years.

The most anyone in our family knows about us is our mother, and she only knows anyone with a voice similar to Sark as "the american one". She doesn't know that there's even multiple who sound similar to him.

Technically, we're out as a system. Effectively, though... We're still closeted. Though not really because we're staying in it, moreso that we left but it follows us around like a shield within our own household, but it's not shielding us. It's shielding them from us.

Our experience with talking to medical professionals has been hard because of this--sharing bits about ourselves has been scary. It's scarier to show them pictures of our nonhuman headmates and say "that one is me", but it's never actually been bad when we've mustered up the strength to do it. One of them looked at Mal and saw his horns and said he looks like a faun from Greek mythology. Even though he's not, a positive response like that was empowering. That same one said Filigree's hair was cool. Little acknowledgements about who you are when you've tried to be seen before is great.

With our IRL friends, we expected the situation to be similar to our parents. Swept under the rug like a taboo and given weird, uncomfortable looks when spoken about. But it's been completely different.

We get asked who is fronting, we get acknowledged as separate people, hell, we even felt comfortable telling them about our actual fictive identities and letting the ones who wanted to follow this blog (hey guys if you're reading this <3) get access to it. They acknowledge our nonhumanity and nonhuman parts, share things about our sources with us because it reminded them of us, etc. Sometimes, now, because we've been open about it, we get people actually ask "is x fronting" and we say yes and they say "I knew it".

That specific feeling of being recognised even when your outward appearance doesn't change is absolutely amazing. Little manerisms, little ways our voice sounds even when masking accents out in public, even the words we choose to use are tells toward who is actually controlling the body and they pick up on it--even things we might not recognise we even do. Sure, there's hundreds of people in here and people won't know every single one off by heart, but the ones who are out here often are being recognised and that, to me, is amazing and validating to all of us.

I guess the point here is me sharing our experiences, but also.... You will be able to find people who see you for you. You as a system, you as a nonhuman, you as a disabled person, you as a queer person--you'll be able to find your people. And you know, I hope you do soon--because the feeling of being known is great.

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skinnyr4t · 3 months

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bl0w-m3 · 10 months

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All I can think about is what I don’t wanna think about. All I can do is try and get relief.

Relief never comes.

I’m walking around, not even real.

This all feels like a bad trip.

I can see it. I can hear it. I feels like it already happened.

I’m screaming for help. I’m begging and it feels like I’m in a soundproof box.

#living with ocd #ocd #obsessive compulsive disorder #intrusive images #intrusive tw #intrusive thinking #intrusive thoughts #mental health #actually ocd #depersonalisation and derealisation #derealization #tw: dissociating

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