put this together in like 40mins with no script so sorry if theres mistakes.

-s

rlly wish the body would change to match whoever fronts :(( ❦

When stressful situation ends and alters are leaving crowded front like this

As a part of the new tumblr beta feature Communities, we've been approved for one of our very own - And I would love your help building this Fully Inclusive Plural Community with me! 💜

The infrastructure is still being developed, so there's some bugs and built in restrictions - We can only invite about 20 more people in right now, only main blogs, no sideblogs, sorry. This also means I'll be posting there from my main @afaintcloudyhaze :)

If you're interested in joining, please let me know in a reply to this post from your main blog. The only requirement is that you feel a connection to plurality and you want to contribute to the conversation about it.

seeing people my age talk about how scared they are of memory loss, which they only associate with old age, is so surreal to see as a 24 year old who has actively experienced memory loss for a long time now

there are causes for memory loss besides dementia and alzheimer’s, i hope y’all know that. dissociative disorders, trauma, brain injuries, thyroid problems, even just stress and lack of sleep can fuck up your ability to store, process, and access memory. and that’s just a few of the many causes i can think of off the top of my head right now.

please stop treating disabled people like some scary “other” that you might become only in the distant, decades-away future. we are your age, too. you may become one of us sooner than you know. stop acting like memory loss marks the end of a life, when so many of us have so much living left to do!

Microdosing polyamory by dating a system

sorry babe i can’t come over. i’m arguing with the voices in my head about whether or not they exist again

Things from Before the OSDDID Realization that now make heaps of sense:

Taking personality tests multiple times because even when I answered them completely honest they’d always come out different

Orientation impossible to pin down (simultaneously aroace/pansexual/lesbian/gay trans guy/queer fucking mess)

Same with gender

Conflicting opinions that somehow exist at once (I love weed/I fucking HATE all drugs and don’t want to be anywhere near them)

Frantic desire to run home and change into something totally different out of nowhere because the clothes I loved this morning are suddenly Awful

Keeps changing name every few months

If I do not journal/scrapbook/take photos of EVERY DAILY EXPERIENCE I WILL FORGET and my whole life will be a blank empty space!!!

“That’s not what you said last time I asked …”

Idk sometimes it’s my Favorite Thing and sometimes I couldn’t care less 🤷

I actually handle trauma really well because right after it happens I don’t even remember! 😇

Hate hypothetical questions because I have no clue how I’d react to any given thing until it happens and any answer feels like a lie

There’s def more but y’all should add your own 💖

"system joy" comic from an OSDD-1b system

i'm sorry if there is any noticeable art style changes throughout the comic. it was worked on across several days, and usually our comics are completed within one. our comic style isn't always 100% consistent depending on who is fronting or co-fronting :') but we tried to keep it similar enough so that it hopefully wouldn't be too disorienting.

not wanting to achieve final fusion is ok,, it’s your disorder so you decide whats best for you ❦

Shout out to systems whose abusers tried their best, but failed.

It can be so, so hard to have the good with the bad. You’ll remember the good times — the things they did right, the stuff you remember fondly — and think “it couldn’t have been that bad, if I still have these good memories.”

It can be. Two things can be true at the same time. Your abusers could have loved you so, so much, and done so much right — and still fucked up.

Shout out to all those with a complicated relationship with their abusers. Shout out to those whose abusers did their best to love you, but never could the way you needed. Shout out to those who weren’t purposefully abused, but still suffered.

Your suffering is seen here, and it is just as valid as anyone else’s.

i forgot i can draw

ADVICE FOR NEWLY DISCOVERED OR SUSPECTED SYSTEMS

if you suspect you may be a system or have recently discovered that youre a system, things can be confusing and hard. im making this post as someone who has been aware of being a system for about 5 years and has been diagnosed for 2. these are things i wish we knew and did. i hope it will be helpful to some of you and i wish you luck on discovering things about yourself and your system keep in mind everyone is different and systems are no exception, so what i list here might be incredibly beneficial for one person but do nothing for another. find what works for you. i will try to provide a variety of advice in order for you to see what fits you best DO YOUR RESEARCH research the disorder, try to find others experiences and things you think would help you. this is especially helpful if you are suspecting and not yet sure if you have it, researching symptoms and others experiences can be very helpful in determining START SYMPTOM LOGGING this can be as simple as "i blacked out today" or "i dont feel like myself right now", you dont have to be identifying switches or putting names to alters, theres no rush to be able to do that and some systems have no desire to do that symptom logging is useful because it can help you identify potential triggers and patterns in your symptoms. for example, if you can remember what happened before a period of amnesia and remember being exposed to a stressful event or something potentially triggering, this would be worth writing down to see if its a recurring pattern REACH OUT TO OTHER ALTERS this can be done in a variety of ways, but the easiest way would be to leave a note in a place itll be seen. for example, a sticky note on a mirror (if you live with other people and cant do this, try leaving a note on your phone in a frequently checked app) i would advise saying something along the lines of "hello, i am (name) and i would like to communicate with you. i suspect we have a disorder called (DID/OSDD) and we share the same body and mind. please write back to me in (location, can be a notebook or app etc) and tell me some about yourself if you feel comfortable" but you can say whatever works for you. i just think the main points to cover are having DID/OSDD and introducing yourself as well as asking for an introduction in return START WORKING ON COMMUNICATION this takes a lot of practice, so i always say its better to build up early rather than late. we have a whole post on it that can be found here REMINDERS AND THINGS TO REMEMBER if you do not remember your trauma, do not dig for it. it isnt safe to try to remember trauma without professionals help. if you happen to remember, thats one thing, but dont intentionally seek out triggers to try to remember denial is common and not a sign of faking, if you were faking you would know and would not be in denial. being wrong about having DID/OSDD (if you are suspecting but not sure) is not the same as faking no two systems are the same. you dont have to look exactly like some other system you know or online to be real its normal to not know everything right away. you wont know all your alters immediately, you may not be able to access (and you may not have) your innerworld, you probably wont remember all of your trauma without professionals help, etc. its all normal its totally ok to keep information about your system private. there is no need to share with anyone you do not feel completely safe and comfortable with switching at any frequency is normal, there is no "correct" amount to switch. any amount of alters is normal, there is no "correct" amount of alters. any level of amnesia is normal, there is no "correct" level of amnesia apps like simply plural and bots like pluralkit can be incredibly helpful for some systems, but there is absolutely no pressure to use them if you do not feel comfortable - grey

It is so fucking funny to see singlets go 'God it felt like I was someone else back there' and you just sitting there with the occasionally someone else disorder like 'Ah yes. No clue what that feels like'