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#chaotic headcanons
gemini-sensei · 2 months
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More gremlin!Reader goodness: family edition
@sensei-venus
She's in bed with her hubby Hawk. It's early morning and no one is awake, or rather no one should be awake. Hawk is awoke by a loud noise. He can't make it out in the haze of sleep but when he hears something hit the floor after that, he knows someone's in the house. His son shouldn't be awake but he wouldn't be surprised if he was. He's a rather wild child...
So he gets up to see what he's doing. Gremlin!Reader whines when she feels him get up and he has to assure her that he's there but that he has to go check on Mason. He kisses her head and gives her belly a little rub; she's pregnant again, finally, after waiting a few years after having their son. She smiles and grabs Hawk's pillow to cuddle in the meantime.
So Hawk leaves and follows the nonstop noise to the kitchen. Mason must want breakfast, he thinks. It's not a farfetched idea. Their 4 yr old loves pancakes and will do anything for them.
However, when Hawk walks into the kitchen, it's more of a mess than he expected. And there isn't one little guy in the kitchen but several. He can't even count as he stops in the doorway, shocked by the sight of multiple raccoons in the kitchen, tearing through the cabinets and the fridge.
He finally comes back to his senses and starts shouting. "Out! Get out! Shoo! What do you think you're doing?!"
If Gremlin!Reader saw them, she'd want to keep them. They have another baby on the way, they can't turn their house into a raccoon sanctuary. Besides, he's pretty sure having a raccoon as a pet was illegal in California. So he shook them away. Out the open back door he finds.
Once he's sure that they're all gone, he closes the door and locks it. Then treks his way through the mess of crumbs, empty containers and boxes and bags, and closes the ransacked fridge. "Jesus Christ... how the fuck did this even happen?"
He has his suspicions.
So he goes back to his lovely wife who would most definitely do something like leave the door open all night for some animals and gently shook her awake.
"Babe, did you leave the back door open last night?"
She hums, still tired. "No... I was with you all night, remember," she giggles and opens her eyes to look at him. "My tits were sore so you helped me out by-"
He blushes and nods. "Yeah, yeah, I remember. Okay, so if it wasn't you, who opened the door?"
They looked at each other for a moment and he tiredly sighed.
They both go to Mason's room only to find him already awake. He's playing with his toys like nothing has happened. If he knows anything happened, he's playing pretend that he doesn't know anything really well.
"Mason, I have to ask you something important," Hawk says and sits with him. They're so used to him being awake at odd hours that he doesn't even question it anymore. "Did you leave the door open last night?"
Mason nods.
"Why?"
"Because."
"Because why?"
"I didn't wan' my friends to get cold."
Reader awes and comes over to give him a hug. He stands up to relieve it, giggling as he holds her leg and looks up at her round belly. "That was sweet of you. "
"Reader, please don't encourage this. The kitchen is a mess now," Hawk says, more desperate than anything. He loves his wife and son, but sometimes he wishes they didn't like the outdoors so much. "Mason, raccoons can be friends, but they have to be outside friends. They're wild animals and they're not supposed to be inside. Plus, they don't buy our food."
Mason is quiet for a moment, as if considering what he's being told. Then asks, "Does that mean you and Mommy are outside friends?"
"What? No, why would you think that?"
"Because Uncle Demmie said you and Mommy are 'a couple of wild animals'."
"And I'll kill him for it," Hawk says through gritted teeth. Then he shakes his head and sighs. "Mommy and Daddy and you are humans. And raccoons are animals. Don't let Uncle Demmie get in your head."
Mason nods. "Okay, Daddy."
"So what do we not do?"
"Open the door."
"That's right."
"Yay!" He shouts and then runs away. He plops back down to play with his toys and gives his dad one of them.
"Thanks, buddy."
Reader smiles as she watches, taking a seat in the nearby storytime chair to rest her feet. She rubs her belly. "Looks like we need to go on another hike soon."
"You're not going anywhere like that-" Hawk tells her, only to get cut off by Reader.
"The trails at the park will be fine, don't you think?"
He looks over at her belly and remembers how that happened the last time they went on a hike without Mason. He nods to her and she smiles excitedly. It's a nice little moment.
Then Mason says, "Daddy, I'm hungry."
And Hawk sighs. "Well, get your shoes then, because your friends ate all of our food."
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ask-chaotic-creatures · 3 months
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To the tribe leaders have you even seen the humans bribe your people with human food? Desserts anything? Did you ever get to try any human foods?
Aszil: I believe this question has been asked before, but yes and it's become more common in Mount Pillar. There has been an increasing amount of human sightings, it seems the players have realized just how much my people love sugar. As long as it remains for harmless purposes, I will allow it. And yes, I've tried chocolate before. These days, I prefer dark.
Chaor: Lucky you, your tribe doesn't attract the malcontents.
Aszil: Trust me, we get problem players.
Chaor: If the players wish to try and bargain with my people that way, it's their choice. Not our fault if they get coded for it. Also, human food isn't very interesting for me. Won't turn down any meat, though.
Theb-Sarr: I haven't tried any of their food, but Peyton and a few other humans are still bringing water to Mipedim. I too allow it, but I've seen how thirst can be used as a weapon. Which is why I expect my soldiers to assure that doesn't happen.
Maxxor: I can't remember if I've human food before, but it doesn't seem that different from ours. I have seen some humans offering food to my people in Kiru City. Mostly for the warriors, but a couple were offering them to those not so fortunate. To which I won't stop them. I just hope they're doing it with good intentions.
Theb-Sarr: They should be fine. Unlike Chaor, your tribe attracts those goodie-two-shoes players.
Maxxor: And some a little too devoted to us.
Theb-Sarr: I consider my tribe lucky then, if the worst Mipedian players have to offer is Peyton.
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beauleifu · 2 years
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Any of the Spiders x reader comedy maybe? Please and thank you ^^
OK so I've decided to do all of the spider babes and instead do little headcanons for all of them, mostly comedy so the line isn't too blurred lmao
Hope you enjoy!
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~LMK HEADCANONS~
Syntax, Huntsman, Goliath, Spider Queen
SYNTAX
Insanely good at keeping secrets. If you tell him you accidentally killed someone he'd take it to the grave (especially if you asked him personally not to tell anyone)
Also incredibly good at telling when someone is lying. But looks like a freaking demon while doing so. Will stare at you with a deep frown and narrowed eyes, figuring out if you're lying with just the slightest change in your voice. And then proceeds to call you out on it.
Will hold a grudge. If you get coffee on his clothes he won't talk to you all day.
Love language is physical touch and intellect (DUH lmao). He's a touch-starved bean, but will absolutely fall in love if his significant other is smart. But not as smart as him or it'll be a competition.
He'd also fall in love with a total idiot. Like an I forgot to flush the toilet, accidentally burnt the toast kind of idiot.
You have to kill him to make him sleep (not in my story tho lmao)
He has a weakness for bargains. Will perk up with interest the second you suggest one. Like "Okay, how about this-" Syntax looks up sharply, eyes laser-focused on you. "If you go to bed with me, I'll watch you finish constructing your doo-hickey tomorrow. And I'll also listen to you explain everything."
Boom. Sealed. He's a sucker for boasting his big brain. He'll sit you in his chair as he moves around the room, or even in his lap if he's sitting down, going into deep detail about everything.
You understand none of it, but at least he's sleeping.
Gets jealous easily. If someone so much as smiles your way he's all glares and stiff replies until you're back home. Then he'll devise a plan to track said person down and figure out if they already have a partner. If they do, they're safe, but if they don't - well, they'd better prepare for a very personal and deadly warning at their doorstep.
Actually loves to cook. Like as long as you're cooking with him, he won't mind preparing dinner for the clan.
Is the reason spam calls are a thing. Don't ask. It's because of you.
Secretly judges everyone. Will tell you exactly what he thinks, no matter what. He may be very blunt, but he has a high emotional intelligence, so will refrain from saying something hurtful. He'll just put it in a nicer way.
Has a few pet names for you but mostly calls you by your name. Called you darling once and he's never been the same. Neither have you.
Loves calling you darling now.
HUNTSMAN
Actually believes taking you to a wrestling match is a fantastic idea for a date. He's all like "Weaklings. I could beat all of them to a pulp. See now, why you're so lucky to have me instead of these twerps?" You do love it but sometimes wish he could like- actually take you out. With a knife? Or on a date? Who knows.
Will definitely touch you inappropriately. He'll smack your ass to catch you off guard, or he'll sit you in his lap in front of everyone. Just for fun. I mean, he won't instigate anything unless you're somewhere private and he can tell you want to get feisty.
Walks around shirtless at least half the time. It pisses the hell out of Syntax but you find it kind of adorable. Besides, he has a nice set of abs so it's not like you don't get a view.
This man sleepwalks. One time you followed him all the way to the local market. He was SLEEPING and you're lucky you caught him because while at the market he tried to steal a few packages of meat. Eyes closed. Everyone thought he was crazy.
Hates electronics. It's most likely because Syntax is obsessed with them. Will definitely swipe your phone and hide it so you can spend time together.
Will seize the opportunity to show off his weaponry. this man will freaking carry you to his quarters if necessary, all to show you the newest weapon he'd crafted. He's super prideful, and any complement will only boost his ego. But if you don't, then he literally won't talk to you and instead polish his knives. All while refusing to let you leave.
Incredibly stubborn. Bro hates it when you give him the silent treatment. Will literally lock you in his room until you guys work shit out. Yes, this includes him glaring daggers at you from the bathroom or whatever.
Is a huge boast, and a bit of a blacksmith, hence why he makes his own knives and shit.
Love language is gifts and mutual respect. If you clearly show how much you respect and love him with gifts or whatever, he's head over heels. Won't admit it, but still. Not much of a physical person unless he's in the mood.
Instant death for those who wrong you.
He's very quick to judge, like always assumes the worst kind of guy.
PET NAMES. THIS DUDE. Pet names in public, in private, in bed, you name it. And he'll come up with the weirdest shit in history.
GOLIATH
A gentle giant - literally. He's a cinnamon roll and will offer to carry you anywhere if you want.
Gullible. He'd give you a 20 if it's all he had, but he'd also kill someone he doesn't even know if you claimed they needed to stop breathing. Like it was a JOKE and LUCKILY you stopped him.
He's very considerate, like won't say anything that's meant to insult unless the other deserves it. When it comes down to you, compliments and gifts galore.
Love language is gifts. Spider demons are suckers for gifts, and even Syntax is starting to lean towards them. Goliath likes homemade things, he considers them more meaningful than something purchased at the store. He won't refuse something store-bought, though, cause it's from you.
Enjoys poetry, and will always show you the newest poem he devised.
Ok they're terrible and mostly involve shit you don't understand, but you admire his dedication.
Will DEFINITELY knit with you, no matter what. If it's 3 in the morning and you're up for knitting a sweater, so be it. Bro will go through hell and back for you.
Is the first one to comment on how empty the fridge is, and also the first one to fill it up. Everyone else is just lazy. Yes he fills it up with only partially edible things like berries or severed limbs. No, you don't vomit, you just gag.
Really wants to go shopping with you, like out and about, but can't wear a disguise since he so big.
DEFINITELY uses his size to his advantage. And he'll be the worst tease about it. If you need to go through the door, he'll stand in your way like "what's the fucking password, tiny baby." But without the fucking. Cause he's a pure boi and wouldn't swear even if you threatened him.
Calls you sweetheart most of the time.
Is more of a listener than a talker, so he'll stare at you with starry eyes as you explain something, nodding along and only providing commentary when necessary.
Really, really enjoys music. Will lay on the floor with you for hours listening to your favorite songs.
Mentally, he's a stone wall. Like for a soft guy you'd think he's sensitive, right? Nope. Not only can he take three full grown men at once, but he can also take insults like a pro. Nothing phases him - unless it comes from the people he cares about. That's where the tables turn.
But hey, you've only insulted him once and you never did again.
SPIDER QUEEN
Spoils you like a pro. You want that? The manager will die if he refuses.
Babe has a heart of gold. First on her bucket list is conquering the world, and second is making sure you're the happiest person alive. You know nothing of this list and never will.
She complains a lot. Honestly, it's like she has a set of expectations for you. No really.
Can't cook to save her life - unless she's making her personal stew. No one knows what goes in it. If she tried making something normal like pancakes you'd end up with a burning stove.
Has a difficult time apologizing. She's the Queen, for crying out loud.
But if she's made a mistake, she WILL make it up to you.
Let's say you and her are arguing, the normal, all fun and games, until she says something surprisingly hurtful and you're rendered speechless. She'd drop all retorts, eyes wide, and approach you slowly while saying, "Oh. Oh, hell, is it something I said?"
Love language? You guessed it. GIFTS.
Babe will put on a brilliant disguise in order to visit the nearest market to buy that thing you'd stared at for only five seconds.
Yes, she notices everything.
You sneeze? She'd chuck a tissue box in your direction. You yawn? Pillow to the face.
She'd act nonchalant about it, like it's the most normal thing ever to take care of you as though you were her own kiddo. But really, she's just hoping you get better so she doesn't feel bad when berating you.
Will host long conversations with you, mostly discussing opinions. She's a very opinionated person and most of her actions are motivated by what she thinks of the subject.
Considers cold showers a death threat.
Next time you walk in after she showers, you're blinded by steam. And the Spider Queen STILL says the water was lukewarm.
Won't do anything that doesn't fit into her schedule.
LOVES PRANKS.
OH MY GAWD. Ok half the time she pranks you out of boredom, and it's a silent command to entertain her, but other times she just loves making you mad.
She loves making anyone mad. It boosts her ego.
&lt;3 <3 <3
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vidavs-refectorium · 3 months
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Headcanon: Crellan has encountered that wolfman who attacked Smildon in season two before. He doesn't seem to have a name, so Crellan and Amzen decided to make him one. They landed on Amarok.
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l-egionaire · 1 year
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Portal To Perim Beyon: Kiru City Beyond
After getting into Chaotic again, and reading the Lore for Cardfight Vanguard Overdress, it got me into thinking about what Perim might be like in the future. So, I decided to start posting bios and the like on my ideas in the form of Portal to Perim style bios. If this gets some attention, I’ll post more
In the 100 years since the reign of Maxxor, the Overworld capital has undergone massive changes in both size and population. The Overworlders were always known as trying to keep close relationships with other tribes, but after the war with the M'arrillians, many Overworlders formed long lasting friendships with creatures from other tribes and this led to many outsiders coming to Kiru City for battle training, diplomatic missions, educations and even just to live lives of their own. The integration of other cultures grew more and more until, forty years ago, the then queen of the Overworld decreed to allow any creature of any tribe the ability to come to Kiru City and claim Overworld citizenship. This led to Kiru city becoming a massive hub for immigrants of other tribes. Mipedians, Danians, M’arrillians, and even Underworlders all live within the Overworld capital.The influx of new citizens from around Perim has helped grow Kiru’s prosperity, but some high ranking Overworlders decry the idea of allowing outsiders into their tribe and see the cities non-Overworlder population as a stain on Kiru’s history.
And it’s not just the city's people that have changed over the years. The physical layout of the capitol has also drastically shifted. Instead of just the one wall that was used to protect the city, Kiru has now been split into three separated sections, each one surrounded by its own mugically reinforced stone wall. The first section of the city acts as the so-called “peoples area”. This is where the majority of Kiru city's population lives. This area is even more split into several sections to reflect the city's diversity, with there being different districts primarily populated by Underworlders, Mipedian’s and Danians. Though creatures from other tribes can live outside those areas, these neighborhoods act as places where they  can share and indulge in their culture and the current leader of the Overworld sees them as helping make Kiru into a microcosm of all Perim. This section of the city also contains the famous Kitu City marketplace, where citizens can find food, books, clothing, mugic, and battlegear from all over Perim.
Within the city’s second wall is what’s considered to be “the learning quadrant” and it contains numerous areas of education and knowledge. From the Overworld library and it’s vast collection of books from everywhere, to the Overworld mugic hall, where muges come to study and experiment with their art, to the world famous Intress Academy of Elemental Studies. The academy is one of the jewels of the Overworld capital, boasting highly experienced teachers and trainers from all over Perim. Similarly, the student body is also extremely diverse with Students from all tribes being allowed to attend. Students not only study how to perform elemental attacks, but also how to construct elemental battle gear, create elemental mugic and study locations that have elemental attunement. Attendance there can truly make one into a master of the elements. 
The final part of Kiru City is in the dead center. Here is where most of Kiru's government officials, soldiers, muges, and nobles live. This section houses the palace of the overworld ruler, the barracks, the Overworld arsenal and several other important strategic facilities. The walls of this area of the city are extra thick and heavily guarded at all times, with only recognized personnel being allowed to enter. But don’t think that this means that the inhabitants are indifferent to the rest of the city. In times of war or crisis, the gates to the center of the city are opened so that all the people from the outer two areas can evacuate there, to be protected by nearly indestructible walls and the Overworld's best soldiers. Even after all these years, the Overworlders still make sure to care for all their people.
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thief-of-eggs · 1 year
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Headcannon that when Alfred finally caves and allows the Wayne family to get a roomba, the bat brothers just go nuts over it:
Damian names it, and gets disgruntled when people simply refer to it as “the roomba”. Like, no, that is Cerberus? Get it right please
Tim tampers with it on more then one occasion. Hooks up some motion activated speaker/microphone mechanism complete with a voice modulator so that he can speak to whoever it passes. Steph is convinced for a whole WEEK that the roomba is sentient
Jason puts a few knives sticking out from it at some point. The whole family can hear Bruce’s screams when it enters his study.
And Dick just turns the damn thing off every time he sees it. He thinks it’s the worst purchase of all their collective lives
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clownsuu · 1 year
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i love all the flavors of howdydarling art you make sm!! i've really been stuck on the drawings you did of wally with insomnia, i love the idea of howdy carrying his ass to bed when he shows up at the bugdega totally exhausted. i thought it'd be cute if wally stepped in to take care of howdy too when he's feeling overworked, or the two of them just collapsing into a nap pile at the end of a long day
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It’s been raining all day and the vibes for cuddles n sweet shid is I m m a c u l a t e
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Sometimes when I think about howdy and Wally, I think about them doing that specific lil wiggle/dance you can do with your followers in cult of the lamb smhhh (and frank really wanting to join but is very shy about it)
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flame-343 · 16 days
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Head Cannon
When Dick started dating, much to Bruce's dismay, they would occasionally go on missions and it would get awkward because apparently this mutant was an ex, than Dick refused to go on a mission because to do it he would have to be with an ex for half of it, it happened so often that Bruce made a file where Dick would put all of his ex's names on so they can stop running into this situation. Dick was furious, that was invasive and was completely stupid in his mind. The only time he uses it is to curse out Bruce if he ever opens it.
Eventually Jason comes along, Bruce tells Jason that when he is old enough to date, he has to put every partner he's ever had in a file, Jason doesn't really care until he comes back from the dead and Bruce tries to weakly make him stay by reminding him to update the file. It goes horribly wrong, now whenever the file updates you can tell it's Jason's solely because it's Victorian Era insults or pictures of bats just to scare Bruce
Damian isn't old enough to date in Bruce's eyes so he doesn't even have a file (as if that stopped any of the bats form dating)
Steph still vehemently claims she isn't Bruce's kid
However, Tim? He really couldn't care less about the file, but he wanted a reason to stay in the Batcave when he was supposed to be home during his time as robin so he just updated the file. He put the name, Birthday, day they met and when they got together, their favorite color, job, the works! Even now he still updates it when he's bored because no one looks at the file.
However if they do....... Tim has a LOT of explaining to do.......
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jaeryale · 2 months
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Bat dad with his league of assassins murderous son
Lets hope that the bat duck tape is strong
Quick batfam doodles are my new obsession enjoy!
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beforeimdeceased · 3 months
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i forgot this one!
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trashmakerarticle · 5 months
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Things that Tim Drake has definitely said
Tim: god let me live to see another day, but that will be a choice he will soon regret
Tim: okay but what about the canons I had planned?
Tim: okay why am in trouble? Because im up at 8AM? Really? Why is that so weird? No I didn’t sleep why would I do that ??
Tim: I think I deserve a medal for being this awesome
Tim: me? Dying? That’s just cringe, you won’t see me lacking
Tim: when was the last time I slept? When was the last you said ‘I love you’ to your kids? Mm?
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biscof · 5 months
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Andrew minyard is the type of guy to send the most deranged post and give no context except “u” or “me” or something like that
Andrew: sends a video of a rumba with a knife taped to the top
Andrew: us
Renee: Thanks??
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yjcorefourenjoyer · 2 months
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Hc Robin Tim had a series of hole punch cards back at Drake manor that Bruce doesn’t know about and it just says things like ‘day without unnecessary violence’ or ‘reached out to Dick’ that Tim uses to keep track of Bruce’s progress in reintegrating back into vigilante society.
Every time he punches one of the cards out Bruce gets rewarded with fun & silly cases or is allowed to monologue without heavy judgement from Tim.
(Will one day get around to posting a fic including all these hc that I leave in ur inbox lmao)
Yesss! You tell me when you get around to it!
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anna-the-undertaker · 3 months
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Can you imagine an MC that watered themselves down because they recognized they were surrounded by beings that even the adolescent ones could easily overpower them?
Imagine that years later, they are still with the brothers and have helped develop the exchange program and set up safe guards and such for new human students based on their own experiences. Maybe they even became a teacher at rad specifically to help foster good relations between humans and demons. Only for one of the humans to start drama with them, as humans tend to do when in group settings for long periods of time, and MC lets their badass they've kept locked away out and straight up tells the person that just because they appear "docile"while around the other demon students in the school doesn't mean they won't wipe the floor with them. That they are just as human as they are and that the student can easily be hurt in comparison to the demons. That looks can be deceiving, and they will need to learn that quickly while in the devildom because if they value their life, they will back down, because everyone else already knows that even if MC kicks their ass, the brothers will be next in line. Also, if they tried what they are doing now with anything but a human, they would be dead already.
Maybe they are all pent up from having to have the brothers protect them all the time. Maybe they needed to release the beast, and this human opened the way. Maybe the pacts with certain brothers (*cough* satan, lucifer *cough*) have affected them more than they realize. Either way, the brothers finally see them no longer holding back out of safety and caution, and it sheds a new light on how strong-willed humans can really be or just MC specifically, making them love MC all the more.
I need more badass MC content. Sorry for my early morning rambling lmao im dissociating while im waiting to get ready for work.
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ackerslut · 13 days
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Not enough fics and headcanons where Levi is an agent of chaos (by accident). This man lived in the Underground for his entire life before being recruited by the Scouts and you're telling me he didn't have a single hiccup when acclimating? No this man gets introduced to vanilla bar soap and takes a big ol' bite outta it because he thinks it's food. It tastes like shit but Levi's had to eat gross food his whole life. He's just deeply disappointed that apparently Above has shit food too.
Cue the entire Scout regiment being fucking terrified of this 5'3 gremlin who won't stop drinking lemon scented cleaner because he can't tell the difference between that and lemonade. He licks a scented candle in front of Shadis and Erwin, makes unbreaking eye contact while doing it and then walks away.
Levi is embarrassed as fuck because he figured out it was a scented candle right AFTER he liked it and he's like "oh my god they think I'm DISGUSTING I bet Erwin thinks I'm GROSS NOW" but honestly Shadis and Erwin are like "what is he planning what does he know."
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l-egionaire · 1 year
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Would anyone whose a fan of Chaotic be interested in hearing some of the ideas and headcanons I'd had on something called PERIM BEYOND? The basic idea behind it is "What would Perim be like around 100 years into the future?"
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