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#and pointing out her own insecurities with how she breaks everything she sees
starrysymphonies · 2 years
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“You may be the bigger person but I'm louder.”
AIB SCENE 5 REDRAW!!!! BECAUSE GOD THIS SCENE WAS SO GOOD
I gave Pitchfork some cool accessories because I like her
I gave Glowstick nothing because I don’t like him
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sflow-er · 10 months
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So many thoughts on the fabulous Barbie film, but especially on how anyone who thinks it’s “hateful towards men” clearly isn’t getting the message.
SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT
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[Credit for both gifs goes to their makers!!]
I mean... Ken’s arc is secondary to Barbie’s, and rightly so. This is her film, and her message deserves to be the main takeaway.
That being said, I just find it really sad that the people who could’ve definitely used the point of Ken’s arc just let it go right over their heads. Maybe it’s because they aren’t great at reading subtext, or because they just balk at anything presented as feminist, I don’t know.
Because to me, Ken’s arc is about as far from “hateful towards men” as you can get. It’s a multi-layered depiction of how restrictive, outdated views of masculinity can hold men back and make them susceptible to harmful ideologies that promise easy solutions for all their problems but only make those problems worse and hurt others around them.
The first layer is an allegory for real men don’t show their feelings. In the movie, this is represented by Ken’s need to look tough and cool all the time, and to keep his insecurities and sadness bottled up. Barbieland is a utopia where being happy is a social norm, and the main Barbie also starts to struggle with that. The difference is that she eventually tells her friends, and they all support her. Ken just puts pressure on himself not to look weak - in front of Barbie, or in front of the other Kens.
Which brings us to the second level: a competitive and inherently hostile view of the other Kens, aka. toxic male relationships. Some of them are friends, and all of them work together for a while to build the Patriarchy, but they don’t actually bond for real. Even their boys’ nights are mainly about getting back at the Barbies for all their girls’ nights (which really were about bonding). When push comes to shove, the Kens still see each other as competition, which is one of the reasons why the Barbies are able to play them against each other.
Another reason is the third layer: the idea that Ken only has value if Barbie loves and admires him. It starts out as unrequited love that makes you feel sorry for him...until he turns bitter. He basically starts on the path that could lead him down the incel/mra rabbit hole and into a mindset where Barbie owes him love and admiration and the relationship he wants in exchange for his devotion to her. He decides that everything would be better if Barbies were subservient to Kens, but of course that’s not true. None of the Barbies’ newfound admiration for their Kens is real, and his own Barbie still rejects him.
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All this is of course underpinned by the final layer, which is Ken’s lack of self-respect and sense of purpose. He’s got a pointless job, he’s not particularly qualified for anything, and he just feels kind of lost in Barbieland - a society run by successful Barbies who are living up to their full potential. That’s why he gets so caught up in the idea of the Patriarchy, which is supposed to make him successful, get others to respect him, and give him a sense of purpose. (This can be generalised to all kinds of harmful ideologies in the real world, e.g. the alt-right movement.)
However, the success he achieves is superficial and not based on any real passion; he even admits that he wasn’t happy in his new position and already lost interest in the ideology. The (forced) respect of others does feel good for a while, but it only goes so far. At heart, the whole thing is still mostly about his feelings of inferiority and unrequited love for Barbie, and instituting this harmful new system did not resolve those for him.
So what does? In essence, breaking out of all these harmful patterns and internalising the idea that he is enough.
He ends up reflecting on his feelings, finally puts them to words (or rather, song and dance), and manages to connect with the other Kens through those feelings. He even cries in relief and acknowledges that it doesn’t make him weak. He and Barbie finally have a proper talk, he lets go of their (non-)relationship, and he listens when she says he needs to figure out his real self. He starts to see himself not through his job, his girlfriend, or even his competition with the other Kens, but as just Ken, who is enough.
I honestly can’t think of a less hateful message to send men and boys.
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sucker4colby · 10 months
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Parties over: Part 2
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Summary : Colby’s in the doghouse after forgetting his girlfriends birthday to hang out with amber. He has to knock down the wall she built around herself.
Warning : angst , jealousy , insecurity, cussing
Pairing: Colby Brock x female reader
Part 1
It took me a moment to be able to tear my gaze away from my reflection and to stop criticizing everything I saw. I had to accept today was going to be one of those where I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin so I just made my way downstairs after changing into shorts and a knitted sweater hoping I wouldn’t see the blue eyed boy I was upset with.
Unfortunately for me he sat at the island eating a bowl of cereal in his own world as our friends did their own thing around him. I noticed how his hair was unruly and he looked tired as If he didn’t sleep last night. My eyes snapped away from him as Sam called out my name. “ there’s breakfast over on the counter if you want some.” The blonde boy pointed over his shoulder at the counter where a stack of waffles resided. I could see Colby’s head snap up from the corner of my eyes to look at me as his friend announced my presence but I avoided looking at him knowing I’d break on the spot to look at him. I smiled at Sam muttering a thank you as I made my way over to the food.
I heard his chair scrape against the floor as he hurriedly walked over to me stopping me from taking a plate . “ I can get your food.” Colby offered grabbing the plate I was reaching for looking down at me. Anger bubbled up inside of me and I glared at him. “ I’m not hungry anymore thanks.” I spat spinning on my heels and walking away from the prying eyes of our friends. He was just going to act like he didn’t blow me off on my birthday to be with another woman and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let that slide.
I might overreacted but If I wasn’t important enough why did he keep the act up, why not just rip the bandage off and break up with me. I sighed walking into the living room to see the mess from last night, cups ,trash bottles of liquor littered every surface. Grabbing a trash bag from the cabinet I began picking up hoping to get a head start before everyone came to help out.
I know he was standing there trying to figure out how to approach me but I couldn’t bring myself to ask him what he needed so I just pretended he wasn’t there. It was a difficult task to do when his blue eyes felt like they were burning a hole in my skin, I could see the distraught look on his face and it hurt my heart but he was the one who messed up.
Finally he cleared his throat to announce his presence as if I didn’t already know, it was hard not know when you’ve memorized the sound of his footsteps and when his presence filled up the whole room. I looked up to meet his sad eyes quirking an eyebrow up at him. “ I have something for you.” He told me in a small voice and brought his hands out in front of him presenting a small black box. I could see him deflect more as he noticed I wasn’t changing my stoic composure towards him. “ I also ordered you a cake from that bakery you like, I know you wanted one of those for your birthday.” He rambled only making me more upset. I hated that I couldn’t stay angry at him, was I really that smitten over him that I’d roll over and act like nothing happened just because it was him.
“ yeah for my birthday Colby.. which was yesterday had you of cared enough you would’ve remembered but how could you ? You were a bit …preoccupied.” I spat out the last word throwing the trash bag on the couch moving past him to go cool off in my room.
I threw myself on the bed and cried wishing my comforter would just hide me away from everything. He was probably trying to be nice so he wouldn’t feel bad once he left me for amber. My chest burned with jealousy at the thought of him doing everything I wanted of him for her, why wasn’t I good enough for him, He was everything for me and maybe that was the problem. I had to make it easier on both of us and end things myself because I know he wouldn’t do it.
I didn’t hear my door open or close but I noticed my bed dip making me wipe my eyes and look out from under cover. I cried even harder once I saw Colby sitting next me. He had tears in his eyes as well as he moved to put me on his lap, I didn’t try to fight him because this is probably the last time I’ll get to be in his arms. I wanted to memorize everything about him before I lost him.
“Baby I’m so sorry, I was a dumbass, I promise I didn’t mean to forget I just had to much on my plate and I got my days mixed up.” He sniffled setting his cheek on my head and caressing my leg knowing that calmed me down. “Do you not love me anymore?" I asked looking down at my lap picking at the loose thread on my knitted sweater. I felt like I could throw up waiting for him to answer me. "What ?" He asked me I could feel the bed shift under his weight as he turned to face me.
My face heated up at having to repeat my previous statement. I was embarrassed I had to ask him if he still loved me , if he did I wouldn't have to ask and save myself the heartache. " if you don't that's ok, i just.. I feel like I should know if you don't love me anymore, no one should be in a relationship without love." I mumbled my voice cracking as I tried to stop myself from crying even more. I could feel the tears pooling at my waterline even more as I tried to stop myself causing me to grow frustrated with myself . I put my hands over my face shielding my face from his view as my body shook after each sob.
“ baby I love you so much it hurts, I’m so sorry I made you feel like this. I’m sorry I made you doubt my love for you.” He whimpered rocking us back and forth holding me tighter to his body. “ I love you so so much, I was looking forward to yesterdays date because that’s the day my love was born, I should’ve been here but I promise I’ll make it up to you now.” He whispered kissing the crown of my head and I wrapped my arms around him. My heart softening “ I could never love anyone the way I love you, I can’t imagine getting so excited to come home to someone that isn’t you, you’re my favorite part of everyday and I don’t ever want to lose that.” His words slowly eased my worries.
I felt horrible because Colby wasn’t a bad person and he’d never intentionally hurt someone. I was so insecure I forgot how kind hearted and pure he was, That’s why I fell in love with him in the first place. I was caught up in my head I almost him because I was being childish. “ I’m sorry, I overreacted.” I hiccuped into his neck as I hugged him close to my body. He let out a small laugh rubbing circles on my back under my sweater. “ I think you under-reacted, I thought I was done for.” He told me causing me to giggle. “ I’m really sorry baby I know you were looking forward to your birthday.” He apologized again leaning back to look at me. I sat back on his lap to look at him. “ I just wanted to be with you, but you’re here now and that’s all I care about.” I told him making sure he knew I just wanted him.
He smiled and placed a kiss on my lips causing a smile to grow on my face. “ that one’s because I’m sorry and these are because you turned 23.” He said before attacking my face with kisses causing me to laugh as he counted each kiss. He let out a quick oh reaching over the bed to retrieve the same black box he had shown me earlier passing it over to me. I shot him a questioning look taking the small box and opening it. My eyes started watering again and I let out a small gasp at the small necklace that rested inside. “ I chose this out a while back and I wanted something you could wear everyday.” He explained taking it out of my hands and moving my hair to the side, I moved on his lap so he could clip it on. “ thank you, I love it.” I told him as he placed a delicate kiss on my expose shoulder where my sweater started slipping off. “ I love you .” He mumbled wrapping his arms around my again pulling my into his chest. I exhaled in relief leaning back and taking comfort in his warmth knowing we’d be ok, I had fallen in love with the sweetest soul and as perfect as he was he was only human, he was bound to make mistakes.
—————
Part 2 guys !!!
I hope you enjoyed it. I almost made them break up but I just couldn’t bring myself to make Colby the bad guy 🥲
Let me know what you guys think !!!
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meangirls-imagines · 3 months
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Masterlist
+- indicates smut
WIPs List
Request Rules
About Me
Poly!Plasticsverse
CLAIMED ANON EMOJIS: 🦁💙🌕🧡🍉🧃☀️💕💌💐🍄
Regina George
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My Girl
Regina is possessive over what's hers.
There For You
Janis and Regina help Reader get over a bad breakup, revealing their feelings for them. (Y/N goes by they/them pronouns in this one.)
Fire and Ice
Regina and Reader are the school's power couple. Everyone thinks Regina is the top. Oh, how wrong they are.
Sabotage
Reader finds out Cady is sabotaging her girlfriend and making her insecure so she takes revenge into her own hands.
Used To It
Regina isn't used to being loved. She gets overwhelmed when she starts dating Reader and getting treated like she's supposed to.
Protective
Regina's girlfriend is tired of the rumors of her girlfriend. She takes matters into her hands to stop them.
Ruin Me +
Regina gets railed by reader and gets adDICKted very fast.
Regina George is a Bottom +
Regina is fed up with not being able to crack Reader, however, she soon discovers that she would be the one to crack pretty soon.
Sex Education +
Regina becomes obsessed with Reader. She jumps on an opportunity that arises and makes Reader hers.
Revenge of the Nerds (but hotter)
Regina and Reader are complete opposites, but that's why they work. Shane Oman looks to ruin that, but fails.
Regina's Protector
Reader is usually a calm and collected person. Cady Heron quickly realizes that messing with Y/N and her girlfriend is social suicide.
Save a Horse, Ride a Cowgirl('s abs) +
Regina George being a bottom. That's all.
Jealous, much? +
Regina and Reader are FWB. When Reader stops the arrangement for another girl, Regina feels a hole in her heart form.
Rest and Relaxation
Regina notices her girlfriend overworking herself and takes charge of the "Take Care of Y/N" committee.
A (Different) Cautionary Tale
The story of Mean Girls (2024) with a twist.
Karen Shetty
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Study Break? +
Reader has to tutor Karen. Study sessions become steamy VERY quick.
Fun Size
Karen's girlfriend is short. She's tired of it.
First Date Feelings
Karen and Reader go out on their first date.
Gretchen Wieners
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Please Be Mine
Gretchen and Y/N had been best friends forever. Feelings grow, Gretchen gets a boyfriend, and everything goes downhill.
Spicy Sick Days
Y/N catches the flu. Gretchen takes care of them. (In more ways than one)
Cady Heron
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Stupid With Love (Literally)
Cady Heron is new. Y/N Y/L/N is smitten.
Janis 'Imi'ike
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Life Imitates Art
Janis has loved Y/N forever. Y/N has loved Janis forever. Their friends meddle and it's the start of a beautiful relationship.
There For You
Janis and Regina help Reader get over a bad breakup, revealing their feelings for them. (Y/N goes by they/them pronouns in this one.)
Reneè Rapp
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On Wednesdays, We Wear Pink
Reneè is off filming Mean Girls and misses her gf. The cast gets together for the cutest surprise.
You're Sick
Reader gets sick. Reneè takes care of her girl.
Forever Will Last
Reader and Reneè hit a rough patch after the Vanity Fair Oscar Party.
Coachella Diaries
Reader supports Reneè at Coachella
Leighton Murray
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Frat Parties Suck
It's basically that episode of SLOCG where Leighton and Alicia kiss for the first time but reader replaces Alicia.
Best Friends?
Leighton and Reader have been best friends since forever and both fall in love with each other. Tension rises when Leighton gets back with Alicia and Reader finally reaches the breaking point.
Leap of Faith
Part 2 to "Best Friends?" The roommates call an audible when they see how much the aftermath of the Incident™️ is affecting both girls. Help comes in the form of the Murray family.
Savior
Leighton meets reader in her math class and is instantly smitten. However, as weeks go on, Leighton sees that the reader's kindness is getting taken advantage of, causing her girl to burn out. Leighton takes matters into her own hands.
Hydrate or Diedrate
Leighton and Tatum's girlfriend gets a bad case of heatstroke during track practice. Her two favorite blondes take care of her.
Gaydar Issues
Leighton doesn't really know how to talk to girls. She made the mistake of failing to talk to Reader in front of Bela, which leads to a very awkward intervention.
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grendelsmilf · 1 year
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i still find it so interesting how jackie is (was?) largely defined by her niceness, her friendliness. she's not the strongest, or the smartest, but she can bring people together. so when she is mean to the other girls, you notice it. she's mean to taissa when she feels like her position as leader is undermined; she knows that taissa is just as much of their leader as she is and it scares her. she's mean to shauna when she finds out about jeff; understandable considering what a huge betrayal it is (at least on the surface). but the girl she is by far the meanest to is nat.
and there is no good reason why anyone should be mean to nat. she is kind of treated as a punching bag, and taissa especially resents her because she doesn't like the idea of nat threatening the team's performance with her day-drinking or whatever. but nat is by far the kindest, sweetest, most compassionate, genuine member of the team. even as an adult you can see that she might be jaded and grieving and ruthless, but she's still at her core a good person. young natalie especially though is someone with a very strong moral center and uses those guiding principles of kindness to define who she is.
she's more mature, capable, and sure of herself than the rest of the group, because before ever landing in that forest, she's had a much harder life than the rest of them. we see that van probably doesn't have the best home life, but the rest of them are living comfortably. even if they don't have great relationships with their parents, they still live in middle to upper class households. nat grew up in a trailer park with a father who horribly abused her and her mother (until the day she witnessed him accidentally shoot his own face off). these circumstances made nat more resilient, braver, and more empathetic than the other girls.
and i think jackie recognizes that, whether or not it's a conscious recognition. she knows that nat is everything she herself is not. nat is confident in herself whereas jackie is terribly insecure and relies on external validation to uphold her own identity. where nat comes from poverty, jackie grew up in a huge house. where nat is comfortable having sex with boys, jackie is too repressed to have sex with her longterm boyfriend because she's terrified of having to confront the fact that she won't actually like it. natalie expresses herself through alt/grunge fashion, music, and culture, whereas jackie is as preppy as it is physically possible to be. natalie is jackie's perfect opposite: a poor outcast who is nevertheless comfortable enough in her own (hetero)sexuality to present in a (gender) non-conforming way and not care what others think of her to jackie's rich popular prom queen soccer captain who is debilitatingly insecure and sexually repressed, conforming perfectly to society's expectations of her to the point that she'd rather die than explore the possibility that she might like girls.
jackie has negative interest in travis, but she breaks him and nat up and steals him from her anyway. and the thing is, nat doesn't even care. she forgives jackie. when lottie locks jackie in the closet (ha), nat is the one who comes to her rescue. when travis apologizes to nat for sleeping with jackie, she says it doesn't matter to her. jackie is horrible to nat, but nat is genuinely mature enough that it doesn't even bother her. jackie wears her insecurities on her sleeve, and nat sees right through her. she doesn't put up with jackie's bullshit, but she's also gracious enough to not gang up on jackie with the rest of the girls, even though she's the only one who actually has any right to be mad at her. nat is generally apart from the rest of the team, not only because she's an outcast, but because she's simply above their petty dramas.
jackie doesn't have a good reason to be mean to her. she's the kindest, sweetest girl on the team. but jackie is mean when she feels threatened, and nat's existence threatens her very identity.
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bloggingboutburgers · 3 months
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Hey, allo anon with an ace partner here. I wanted to say thank you so much for the well wishes! I figured I would send this in here again, so anyone else who is curious about what this experience looks like from the other side can see it.
My girlfriend came out to me a little over 2 years into our relationship. At the time it surprised me a lot, because she'd never given me any signs that she wasn't enjoying what we were doing. After we talked more I understood that she wasn't repulsed by sex and she didn't hate it, but she didn't really love it either and wanted to stop doing it for a while (so a sex-neutral ace).
Honestly, at the time, I did get anxious about it. Not just because of social conventions, but because I had viewed sex as an important bonding part of our relationship. I don't do well with change, and I was super worried about how a lack of sex would change our dynamic. I also had some insecurities about my own body, and my girlfriend admitting that she didn't see me as sexy was upsetting. But after speaking to my therapist, I realized that I was projecting my own issues on to the relationship. So I spoke with her again, and she reassured me that she wanted to be with me, and that she was confiding these feelings because she trusted me. She likes how I look, she just doesn't have the same sexual impulses I do.
So, I realized this was pretty much like cuddling. I love physical touch a lot, and I want to cuddle for a much longer time than she does. I like it when someone lies on top of me. She doesn't want me on top of her chest during cuddling. She still cuddles with me, but she tells me when she's satisfied, and we stop.
A few months went by, and I noticed that she wasn't spending any less time with me; she was actually spending more. We would still call every evening when we didn't meet up in person, we would still joke around, and she still told me she loved me and did everything she could to show it to me. We also began trying out new stuff together, and playing games and watching stuff more often. We also still had plenty of physical intimacy with things like cuddling and kissing, which made me really happy.
I realized that I didn't feel like anything was missing from the relationship. I just needed her to show and tell me she loved me in the ways she normally did. Sure, I am still attracted to her that way, but it wasn't something that would make or break the relationship.
It's been years since she came out, and at this point, I never expect anything sexual. It happens rarely, and I always check in with her multiple times before and during. We stop at any point she tells me. There are quite a few hard boundaries about what is and isn't off limits, and I always keep them in mind. I would rather satisfy myself forever than make her uncomfortable, and she knows it.
It's been over 5 years and we are still going strong. I am hoping to ask her to marry me in the next few years, because honestly, I can't picture wanting anyone else by my side. She is kind, funny, beautiful, intelligent, and treats me well. I could never ask for anything more from a partner.
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing. I myself definitely lack knowledge of what it feels like from an allo's perspective, so this was very educational for me, but beyond that... You have no idea how much hope this gives me.
From you being aware of how much sex meant to you in the context of your relationship and still being fine without it, to just... Heck, even your therapist for not blaming her for the situation. Therapy is still very much, in my country at least, an area where the absence or lower levels of sexual attraction will be hastily labelled as something wrong physically or mentally, so... Yeah, the amount of relief I felt reading that, you have no idea. And I can only imagine how much your partner appreciates it too.
Honestly I teared up a bit reading this - I sincerely wish you guys all the best and I hope you have a bright future ahead! (Also fun fact, seems you guys have been together as long as my partner and I have, it's nice to be able to relate to that too hehe^^)
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ja3honey · 4 months
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♡ 𝐖𝐚𝐬 𝐈𝐭 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐀 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐏𝐭.𝟓 | 𝐊.𝐇𝐉 ♡
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【Synopsis】 : Fear was clouding both you and Hongjoong's judgement, leading you to question whether Hongjoong actually likes you the way you do him or not. Would a confession fix everything? Or would it cause a rift between the two of you?
『Word count』 :  1.21k
-> Genre: Smut. Angsty but Fluffy. Romance. DBF.
Pairing: Dilf!Hongjoong x Park!Reader 
[Warnings] : Making out. Mentions of sex. Hongjoong can keep his hands to himself. Crying, heartbreak. Fear and insecurities. Lots of sappy cheesy romance novel stuff. Slight miscommunication trope. What can i say, i live to cause chaos. Hehe. Also, I love to point out that i love Seonghwa very much, and any i say about him doesn't mean anything.
Note: I know, I know. You were probably hoping for the first time, hehe. But no, Daddy Joong and Angel needed to have a heart to heart first. Haha. And I wanted the smut to be in one part, and it's gonna be a long one, hehe. Enjoy this for now, my beautiful babies. ♡♡♡
Masterlist | Navigation | Part Four | Buy Me A Ko-Fi
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The dinner felt like something out of a romance novel or movie. Everything was perfect, down to the last bite of your dessert. The way the chocolate melted on your tongue and the whipped cream spilled down your throat, dripping down your chin. Hongjoong had to bite back a groan at the way your eyes rolled back in pleasure. You found out that Hongjoong owns the restaurant, which caught you by complete surprise, given he didn’t know the first thing about cooking. He had spoken about how he was originally going to be a bar, but his mother mentioned she would have loved to own a restaurant with opened windows, grand red couches, and welcoming smiles. His dream quickly became something to resemble his mother. He wanted her to know how much he loved her, even when he was being his cold stand-off self. She helped a lot in his life, and he missed her every day.
He parked outside your apartment, and the silence continued. Only the soft pitter-patter of rain hitting the windshield. You didn’t want to get out of the car. You didn’t want the night to end, and as he turned to look at you in the eyes, you knew he didn’t want it to end either. “Why don’t you come up…. Coffee maybe…”
Your heart was racing, feeling all your nerves shaking at you. You needed to push yourself, push him. Show him you could be assertive… mature. He sighed, biting his bottom lip while looking back to the dark wet street in front of the car. He had conflicting feelings like his mind was splitting into two. You felt your heart breaking with each breath, with each silent second. “I don’t think that is a good idea…”
“Why?!” You said that way too quickly than you’d like, knuckles turning white as you clench the fabric of your dress in between your fingers. He just sighed again, making your heart shatter slowly. He raked his hand through his hair, searching for the right words to say without causing a miscommunication or pain.
“If I go up there, then I won't come back down.” His words made you hold a breath. Did he mean that? Was he worried about having sex with you? Be with you? You quickly responded with a simple ‘so’ which probably made you sound like an upset, desperate teenager, but you didn’t care, needing to hear him out. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. Not yet. Your father is uhh…”
There it was. The cruel reminder of who you were to him. His best friend's daughter. Just some silly little girl that he was fooling around with. You sagged completely into your chair, trying to balance the weight forming on your chest. You felt like you couldn’t breathe like you were suffocating in the small vehicle. No matter how hard you fight or how much he tries to forget, your relationship will be constantly based on what your father thinks. Your father's feelings. Not yours.
 “I see…” You finally spoke. “Well, I’ll see you later than Hongjoong. Tonight was lovely…really lovely.” You got out before he could say another word. But you knew he was calling your name, trying to get you to hear his reasoning. Why he say what he said. The rain that was lightly spitting when you were in the restaurant was now bucketing down. You tried to get to the door of your building as quickly as possible, but a firm grip of your wrist stopped you. You turned to see a soaking Hongjoong, looking desperate and…regretful.
“I want to be with you. Don’t you ever think otherwise.” He yelled over the rain, your eyes growing wide as he put his left hand on your cheek, stroking your wet skin with his thumb. “I suck at voicing my thoughts. Please…please don’t think I don’t want you angel. You are the only thing in my life that makes me want to live again.”
You could feel your throat closing and your heart racing. Tears were falling along with the rain, ruining your make-up. He inched close, letting you feel his breath on your skin. Then you closed the gap, letting him lock his lips against yours. He kissed you more passionately, unlike the lust-filled kisses you’ve shared with him. He kissed you like you were the only person left in the world. He kisses you like he needs it to breathe. He needed you more than he could ever explain. But fuck, if he wasn’t going to try to show you exactly how he feels, with every kiss, every soft touch and every whisper of sweet nothings in your ear. He wasn’t afraid of your father. He wasn’t afraid of what his other friends might think. He was going to shout from the rooftop how much he has fallen in love with you, and he was going to make sure you knew he meant every word.
“I think I’ve fallen in love with you.” You whispered, your tears turning into a sob. Your fingers were tangled in his wet shirt, fearing he’d disappear if you let go. And then he smiled, he laughed. His nose rubbing against yours, he whispered back…
“I’m definitely in love with you, angel. I’ve been in love with you the moment you step out of your car in that fucking perfect little dress.” He groaned kissing you again. He swallowed your giggles as you both felt a euphoric feeling like no other. It was like a switch went off. The last puzzle piece fell into place and nothing else outside your little bubble mattered. His plans to make your first time was about to go out the fucking window….
“If you don’t get back in my car right now, I’ll drag you into it.” His words were dark, tainting on your lips. It was like a drug you’d never get enough of. Quickly, without slipping, you got back into his expensive car, your hand never leaving his thigh as he drove and your lips suckling on his neck. Hongjoong was glad it was almost two in the morning, and no one was on the road. Otherwise, he would've most likely hit someone with how fast he was going. He made it back to his apartment in no time, and without another moment to spear, he dragged you towards the elevator by your hand. Fingers entangled with yours.. he pinned you against the wall in a feverish kiss, holding the back of your neck, guiding your mouth with his. This was not what he wanted your first time to be like. But god, did he need every second of it.
The way his hand crept up your dress, crawling at your hips. Feeling your frilly panties along his fingertips. His tongue raked down your hot skin, suckling a bright red mark on your neck. He was going to litter you with his marks, every part of your beautiful untouched body. Taint it like you were made for him. He was going to fuck you like it was the last thing he was ever going to do. Because you deserved every treatment he gave you.
No matter what your father was going to think. He’d deal with the prick afterwards.
-♡
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drewsbuzzcut · 4 months
Text
Right Where You Left Me
mat barzal x model!fem!reader
a visceral in doses fic
warnings: angst, self inflicted doubts, slight jealousy, lack of communication, age gaps, break ups, alcohol consumption, and I think that’s all
this takes place when they were just dating
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You sit in your bedroom, trying to stop your tears from falling as you look out your window. It’s to no avail.
How could a perfect night end up so terribly wrong? You were meant to celebrate your latest magazine cover with Mat in attendance. Now you’re crying your eyes out, wishing you never invited him along.
The night started off great. You and Mat walked around, socializing with everyone there. You both had a couple drinks and Mat quite literally never left your side. He was proud of you and wanted to see how appreciated you are. You’re the one who left his side. Never in your life have you been the jealous type, but when you walked back to Mat after getting you and him drinks from the bar, you weren’t expecting to see him so enthusiastically talking to another woman. His smile is wide to the point you can see his dimples. His body language is relaxed and her’s is laced with interest. Why wouldn’t she be?
You linger back, halting your steps in favor of letting the crowd drown you out from where you’re witnessing Mat and the woman’s conversation. Deciding to avoid them, you turn and find someone to talk to. Your conversation is only a distraction especially when you can hear the distinct sound of your boyfriend’s laughter. You peek over your shoulder only to regret it the second you catch a glance at the woman he’s talking to. She’s a woman. In every sense. Her makeup is so elegant and light. Her hair is perfectly curled and pinned, and her outfit looks like it was designed just for her. She’s everything you’re insecure about- especially in regard to your relationship and age gap with Mat.
You bite the bullet and excuse yourself from who you were talking to, making your way to the person you wish you didn’t want to avoid.
“Hi,” you mumble and mentally slap yourself for coming off as shy or intimidated.
“Y/n! Hi, honey. Your cover is fantastic! For a young model you sure do have an amazing resume,” she compliments you, her words have a way of punching your gut.
“Thank you! That means a lot,” you try to fake a smile and she buys it, but you can see Mat look at you from the corner of your eye.
“I am so sorry. Where are my manners? This is Mathew Barzal, he’s a hockey player. I don’t know how he ended up at an event like this, but we were just talking about hockey. As an older Canadian who grew up around hockey, I was attempting to school him. I wanted to see if he knew his own game as well as I do,” the woman says, cocking her head to the side in utter confidence.
You knew she was older.
You give her another faint smile before responding.
“He’s a great hockey player. Mat’s my boyfriend,” you state and watch as realization crosses her facial features.
“My goodness, sorry. He didn’t mention he was here with his girlfriend, but I guess it never really came up. Wow! How did a man like you end up with a girl like Y/n? I would’ve expected you to be with someone around your age and not as busy,” she has the audacity to say to your face.
“I can keep up with him just fine, thanks for your concern,” you bite, smiling sarcastically.
“She’s the best girlfriend,” Mat finally decided to contribute to the conversation. He throws an arm over your shoulders, but you quickly remove yourself after bidding a quick goodbye to the woman whose name you’re glad you didn’t learn.
You never wanted to see her again.
“Are you okay?” Mat asks, catching up to you and resting a hand on your arm.
“I’m fine,” you say stoically.
“No you’re not,” he points out.
“Then why’d you ask?” You snap, still facing away from him.
“What the hell is going on?” He grabs your shoulders and turns you towards him.
“What the hell is going on with you and that lady?” You question.
Mat looks confused because why are you angry about him talking to someone else. Mat looks confused because why are you tearing up and not making eye contact with him?
“What are you talking about?” He tries to reach for your hands, but you pull them away from him before he can touch you.
“Stop doing that,” he whispers.
His veins on his neck are already starting to pop out and his face is getting flushed. He’s having a hard time being patient with you.
“Can you take me home?” You ask silently.
“Can you answer my question?”
“No, because if I do, we’re just going to fight,” you answer.
“Why would you, answering my question, make us fight? If anything, you not answering my question and ignoring me is what’s pissing me off,” he claims, a warning in his tone.
You drag your fingers through your hair and turn away from him again. You can feel your chest heave even though you’re trying to hide it. You face him again, your teary eyes flashing up at him. The crinkle in between your eyebrows gets Mat to close the distance and smooth out the skin with his thumb. You hold onto his wrist and push his hand away.
“You looked like you were really enjoying your conversation with her. Like I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so animated, not even with me,” you whisper and shut your eyes.
Mat’s eyebrows turn down in a frown and his lips form into a semi-frown.
“That can’t be true, and we were just talking about hockey. You know I love hockey,” he says.
“You never talk with me about hockey, besides game details. I know you know that hockey isn’t my favorite, but when it comes to you I’d talk about anything.”
“I don’t mean to not talk about hockey with you. I can change that, though, easily,” he tries to calm your worries, but you can’t stop the thoughts in your head.
“The thing is that you can find it so easy to talk to another woman about something that you find hard to talk about with me,” you counter. Your face pinches up in discomfort.
“You can’t place all of that blame on me,” he responds.
“I’m not trying to blame just you. She just seemed really interested in you and what she said was bitchy. She made it seem like you both were flirting,” you stress.
“That wasn’t my case. I was just talking to her about hockey,” Mat defends himself. You believe him but those damn thoughts in your head can’t be silenced.
“I just can’t get over the vibe I got from the way you looked so cozy.”
“I don’t know what to tell you to make you believe me. I’m telling the truth that nothing was or is going on with that woman. It was just a conversation. I don’t know how to get through to you,” he says through clenched teeth.
You grab onto his hand for the first time since you started this conversation. You squeeze them gently before looking into Mat’s eyes.
“That’s my fault. I just- I thought maybe you didn’t know how to handle me, but maybe I don’t know how to handle you. You and all that you come with. Maybe you should be with someone older and not some little girl who doesn’t know what she’s dealing with,” you admit through soft cracks of your voice.
Mat wipes away your tears, looking down at you with a saddened expression.
“No. No, please don’t do this. You are perfect for me. I don’t want a girlfriend if it’s not you, you know me,” he argues, shaking his head repeatedly and continuously wiping away your tears.
“We’re at different stages in life. You need someone older. Someone who isn’t me! I’m not right for you and clearly that’s noticeable to everyone except us,” you explain, flitting your eyes up to his only to regret it once you see nothing but pain in them.
“Why are you doing this? Why are you giving up on us? You’re the love of my life, that much I’m sure of. It’s only 5 years. We’re both adults,” he states, holding onto your face even though it’s no use.
“Can you please just take me home?”
Mat doesn’t say anything. He bitterly nods his head and moves away from you, begrudgingly walking to his car.
The car ride is quiet and tense. The air condition isn’t enough to drown out the silence or your sniffles. Each time Mat hears you, he flinches and recoils his hands before he can fully reach out to touch you.
When he parks outside of your apartment, he hastily gets out to open your door for you. Your heart twists in an ache that seems like it’ll be a permanent visitor. You’re going to miss him so much.
“I can get up by myself,” you mutter when you realize he’s following you inside.
“Please, Y/n. I love you,” he pulls you back by your hand, a hand going to your waist because he physically can’t let go of you.
“And I love you. That’s why we can’t be together. You deserve someone better,” you stress.
“You don’t get it. There is no one better. There is just you. You, Y/n L/n, the love of my life. What do I need to do to make you believe that? What have I done to make you doubt me?”
“Nothing. Follow me or don’t follow me up, but we’re done, okay?” You pull out of his grasp, hoping and begging that he doesn’t follow you.
When you get to your door, your shaking hands fumble the keys and struggle to unlock your door. You can feel his presence behind you and it makes you feel worse. You rip the door open, hoping that behind it there’s fresh air. You turn to close it, rapidly blinking your tears away as you stare into Mat’s eyes. You see his red rimmed eyes and the defeated gaze in his face, but you don’t have it in yourself to say anything. You close the door in his face and wait a few minutes for him to leave so you can break down completely. You had no idea that he spent the entire night outside your front door, hearing you sob and fighting with himself to find a way to comfort you.
a/n: Enjoy some Mat and model!reader angst!
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its-weeping · 11 months
Text
𝐏𝐨𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 ! ‧ ₊˚ ☆
𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐊𝐘𝐔𝐔 —✩
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𖥻 summary: a small argument results in long-term consequences.
𖥻 warnings: light angst, insecurities, ooc, suggestive stuff towards the end
𖥻 pairing: tsukishima kei x popular!reader
notes: did you guys know tsukki is actually really insecure about himself?
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why did you ever think dating an outwardly rude guy was such a great idea?
there you were, sobbing into your pillow because the both of you had an argument. the whole thing was just idiotic in a sense; the argument started out with a discussion about something stupid but turned heated as you both went on and on.
of course, the two of you had had arguments before but they weren't to the extent that you had to press pause on the relationship.
that was the exact reason you were currently sobbing.
it was never excepted that this argument would have tsukishima impulsively pause the relationship.
you didn't get to cry for long as your eyelids felt heavy and before you knew it, you had fallen asleep.
the next day was hell because you had to act like nothing was wrong—like everything was perfect in your life. the most popular student shouldn't have a flaw nor problem in her life. that was the standard you set for yourself to follow.
so with that, you put on a charming smile and proceeded to behave as though nothing was wrong.
it irritated tsukishima when he watched you interact with others in such a normal way, even he was acting more impolite than usual because of your fight. you, on the other hand, were acting as if everything were fine and dandy.
and he didn't like that.
"you know, you can go apologize instead of just watching from a distance like a stranger."
yamaguchi suggests but tsukishima only tells him to shut up, which the green haired boy happily complies to.
how would i even begin to apologize if she's treating things like normal?
the taller male doesn't voice these thoughts, though, as he feels it would be useless to get advice from yamaguchi.
even at practice he notices you're more chipper than usual. it was the calm before the storm, tsukishima concludes finally.
the first few hours of school you hadn't talked with your boyfriend and it was fine, but when the last hours of school ticked by you grew worried.
you knew tsukishima was a stubborn and prideful guy, and so it wasn't a problem when you two wouldn't talk for a few hours. but he would never go to the extent of straight up ignoring you for eight days.
at this point, you were close to breaking down in public because of this. other students have already began noticing your extremely happy mood these past few days.
friends would ask if you were alright and that you seemed off.
you denied answering any of these questions and only resumed with whatever you were doing because you didn't want to worry them.
in light of this, you reacted strangely and this caused students to be more attentive of you.
well, not everyone.
your boyfriend still ignores you—even if you make the effort to try and talk to him.
"oi, tsukishima."
tsukishima looks up from his seat on the floor of the gym and sees kageyama with that serious expression of his.
the blonde only raises an eyebrow at his sudden appearance.
"what did you do?"
kageyama asks which shocks tsukishima slightly, the king would never talk to him about anything other than volleyball—unless accompanied by the ginger.
"what?"
"to my sister."
not even about his own sister.
the raven points at you in the distance. you looked awfully gloomy—actually you've been gloomy all week, but you hid it with a deceiving smile.
tsukishima was annoyed at that, annoyed because you were behaving as though everything was fine, and annoyed because of your fight.
but why was he even angry with you?
it wasn't your fault to begin with.
"i would never do that."
you say, tears threatening to fall from your eyes. tsukishima scoffs at the answer you give him.
"i saw the messages, so don't lie to me!"
"what texts?!"
"the one with that friend of yours! that– that stranger you always text."
it was your turn to scoff at the ridiculous accusation.
"your just misunderstood, kei."
you try to explain the situation but tsukishima wouldn't have it, he was rambling at that point.
"i don't even know why you chose me. you could have chosen anyone at your disposal but you chose me out of what? pity?"
those tears feel hot against your cheeks now.
"no! i don't pity you, kei. why would i?!"
"i don't know, maybe because i asked you out in front of your classmates? maybe because i looked pathetic doing it so you just had to say yes as to not damage your reputation?"
you were shaking in bitter laugher.
"what reputation?"
"you know what i'm talking about! you're popular, you've always been so popular, perfect, likable.. so why? why, out of everyone, would you choose me?"
"because i–" i love you.
the words stumble in your mouth.
"because you're who i want, who truly sees me as me, who i can be myself around. that's why i chose you."
"well you chose wrong."
it felt as if a sword pierced through your heart when you heard those words.
"i need time to think."
the blonde distinctly remembers you leaving his home with red puffy eyes because of the argument.
"kei, wait please!"
"that's none of your business."
he finally answers, but it only makes kageyama more infuriated.
"you better fix it, fast."
is all he says, however, as he didn't want to make a scene.
"whatever."
tsukishima stands and steps to tower in front of the shorter student as he says,
"it's still none of your business."
you were watching the interaction happen with a glum look until yachi taps your shoulder. the gesture makes you turn towards her with a forced smile.
"what's wrong?"
the female student says before any words are spoken between you two.
"nothing, i'm just feeling a bit down today."
"i suppose you've been down for the past week as well?"
her words surprise you and, immediately, you glance at where tsukishima was in nervousness.
yachi also looks toward his direction and 'ah's knowingly—something she began doing instead of reacting loudly ever since you all became second years.
"relationship problems?"
"it's complicated.."
"tell me about it."
the events from that night taunted you, but you desperately wished to vent to someone—luckily it had been hitoka as she already knew about the relationship.
the second year sits on the polished wood floor and pats the space next to her.
you sigh, following her actions and sat on the floor.
"it was a fight. kei, he accused me of cheating and i tried to explain that it wasn't like that but he changed the topic to why i was even with him. he told me that i pitied him, and that i was only in a relationship with him because i didn't want to damage my reputation."
your thoughts become incoherent, unclear, and hard to follow so you pause to try and collect yourself.
"but i don't, i don't pity him– i wouldn't. i just care for him so much and i don't want to lose him. i don't know how to make this right, i don't know how to apologize because this wasn't even my fault! i just.. i just want everything to be ok between us again."
tears form in your eyes but don't spill, the agony of having to hide the frustration seemed to be reaching closer to the surface everyday.
yachi, who had been quietly listening, extends her arm for a hug.
"it's going to be alright, he'll come to you when he's ready to apologize."
"i hope it'll be soon because i don't know how much longer i can put on a fake smile."
you laugh sarcastically and stand up, holding your hand out for hitoka to take.
that was tsukishima's queue to leave the area. he overheard the conversation you had with the second year, and it made him realize it doesn't matter if his insecurities were giving him doubts.
"my duty is my heart."
he would always hear you say. he thought it was stupid, who would make their heart their duty? it was idiotic to follow your heart, that mindset would only get you hurt in the end.
but maybe, just this once, he would follow his heart.
he would follow his heart all the way back to you.
you were bidding some school friends goodbye as it was the end of school when tsukishima approached you.
the tall male looks at you and gestures to a more private place to talk.
"what do you need, kei?"
you ask. you already knew why he needed to talk, but having been ignored for a week straight, you wanted to hear him apologize.
tsukishima hesitates before speaking.
"last week i reacted poorly and irrationally. i accused you of things i know you didn't do, and i.. i'm sorry. can you forgive me?"
you cross your arms over your chest in annoyance.
"you're an asshole, you know that?"
the blonde clenches his fists at the comment as he stares at you in slight desperation. the annoyance in your expression fades as you smile brightly—which confuses tsukishima.
"you're an asshole, but i forgive you. i forgive you, tsukishima kei."
you watch as your boyfriend sighs in relief and relax at your answer.
"you aren't mad?"
"oh, i'm very mad. you ignored me for a whole week and accused me of something i would never do. of course i would be mad."
tsukishima tenses again, but you hold his hand to reassure him.
"but, i still forgive you. i care for you, kei, a lot. i don't even think i could go two days without a good morning or goodnight from you, that's how much i like you."
"i care about you too, so much. i was just feeling insecure and seeing you with other people much better than me.."
you shut him up with a squeeze of his hand and a gentle smile.
"you have every right to be insecure but trust me when i say you are more than enough for me. sure, you may be an asshole but you're my asshole, and i'm not going to replace you with anyone else for as long as i live."
"so you'll get together with someone else in the afterlife?"
kei jests and you lightly punch his arm in response, a smile growing on both your faces.
"i might if you keep talking like that."
"good luck finding someone who's more of a pain in the ass than me."
arrogant as always, you roll your eyes at the comment jokingly.
"it won't be hard."
the words come out as a whisper as you pull him towards you and lean in close.
"that's believable."
tsukishima replies in a sarcastic tone, moving closer until your lips touch.
it was light and soft, like a feather brushing your arm, but soon it felt like a fireplace's heat as the desperation for each other seeped into the gentle kiss.
it had only been a week but that seemed like one week too long for the both of you without each other's touch.
the next day you were layered with familiar purple bruises around the upper part of your body. it was a joy tsukishima decided not to cover your jaw or areas on your neck that were visible.
after all, he was quite generous with them yesterday.
still, your body ached from the fast and needy pace your boyfriend had marked you in—that same boyfriend who was currently eyeing you down.
"what?" you ask in suspicion.
"maybe we should have heated arguments more often if i get to do this to you."
"kei!"
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© its-weeping — do not plagiarize or translate.
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incorrectbatfam · 1 year
Note
Do you have any angsty headcannons of Damian Wayne
Sometimes I wonder if he has any insecurities about being the youngest and the fact that he's fifth (sixth? seventh?) in a long line of batkids who have already done pretty much anything he can think of. Blowing up the League of Assassins? Tim did that. Starting a superhero team? Sure, Damian's done that, but it's kinda derivative of his siblings'. Dying? That's literally Jason's whole schtick. With older siblings, he's gonna invariably end up with some hand-me-downs and it's a lot harder to carve his own unique identity.
He's over the whole "blood son" thing, but he can't help but feel a little jealous when Bruce talks so fondly about the others' Robin days, meanwhile Damian is still referred to as "having potential" and needing to work on this or that. It's like when your siblings have a bunch of trophies and you know you're just as capable, but you haven't been given the chance.
As Robin, everything he did was measured up against his siblings. Dick stuck the landing better. Tim was more careful with evidence. Steph decoded the riddle faster. Jason could take on twice as many goons. Though Damian tries to do things his own way, Robin never feels like something that's fully his.
Even though the Waynes can buy ten of everything, he still ends up with some of his siblings' stuff—Dick's sweatshirt, Jason's books, Tim's old camera. Damian can try and pretend they belong to him, but then he comes across a scribble in the margins or an old picture of Young Justice and it's a reminder that he's still tethered to the people who came before him.
And maybe that's why he still picks fights and gives people a hard time. At his age, he'll do anything it takes to stand out so someone notices him, and being difficult accomplishes that. As an immediate result, he gains individuality by being known as the Demon Brat. And because he gets that instant gratification, he keeps doing it over and over.
It's no secret that he and Tim aren't always on good terms. I think part of it has to do with Tim being the next closest predecessor and Damian has an easier time picking him apart compared to facing off against Dick or Jason. Because of that, though, I think Tim would be the first to pick up on why Damian is this way.
Do they communicate about it? Mmm not yet. This is the most emotionally stunted family we're talking about, so instead of indulging Damian's behavior, Tim flat-out ignores it and it's one of those instances where ignoring works because Damian stops, at least with him.
But then he moves on to Steph, but her tolerance is way lower than Tim's and she lets Damian know that. She straight-up tells him, "Hey, quit being obnoxious. It works now because people are going easy on you, but one day someone's gonna screw you up and you won't have a Batman to run to."
He doesn't really believe her because 1) he was never one to care what strangers think about him and 2) getting the job done was more important than being liked to him.
Cut to school being back in session. Damian mainly keeps to himself—partly to lay low, partly because he never got along with other kids before and didn't see the point in trying again. His grades are stellar and for the first month or so, teachers praise him all around for being a model student.
But that eventually slows down as his straight-A's and thesis-sounding papers become routine—it's his norm, and teachers stop pointing it out as something remarkable.
And just like before: when being Robin stops working, be the Demon Brat.
He keeps his grades up, but the teachers start sending emails home about things like chewing gum and using his phone in class. Every time, Bruce just reminds him to behave.
One time Bruce offhandedly mentions how Jason was a well-behaved student and Damian can't help but think, "That's the point. I'm not Jason."
The emails pile up, now with new problems like extended bathroom breaks, breaking the dress code, and even one incident where he forged himself a note to get out of class early.
But the thing that lands him in detention is a snide comment to the wrong kid that spirals into a schoolyard brawl. And even though Damian pulls his punches, it still ends in bruises and a bloody nose, and it takes two teachers and the football coach to break it up.
And just his luck, Dick's in Bludhaven, Alfred has a doctor's appointment, Tim and Bruce are at a business meeting, and Jason wants to stay out of this, so guess who's there to pick him up at the end of the afternoon.
Steph doesn't beat around the bush. Her first response is, "What did I tell you?" And it pisses him off because she's right.
That evening, they go on a long drive where she eventually gets an explanation out of him. And she gets him, 100%. She tells him how she had big shoes to fill as Batgirl and how she always compared herself to Cass and Babs.
Then she says: "Robin isn't a personality you grow into or break out of. It's just a costume. Who you are underneath is who Robin becomes."
For good measure though, she goes to Bruce later like, "Hey, do you need a laxative? 'Cause you're so emotionally constipated that you forgot your son is his own person, not a work in progress or extension of someone else." Then she swipes his credit card and takes Damian to the arcade to make him feel better since he still has a week's worth of detention plus Alfred giving him double the chores.
After that, people will still occasionally slip up, but when Dick ruffles his hair and says they'll ace a mission "the Damian way," it's reason enough to believe that things are looking up.
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steakout-05 · 20 days
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it's so funny seeing the negative fan reactions to Jax being even more of an asshole than he was in episode 1. like first of all, how can you not enjoy his dickhead antics and growing frustrations at the things that aren't allowing him to be a dickhead 100% of the time. i think it's really entertaining to watch him be a complete jackass to everything and everyone! and second of all, i feel like this is an effect of twitter fandom kiddies always praising a character who's a perfect angel or a "bad boy but he's bad in a good way..." character and deeming characters "immoral" as soon as they do something bad. as soon as that character they attached themselves to isn't what they thought they were, they get super mad about it, even though Jax hasn't really changed at all since episode 1. it's like seeing Jax have more opportunities to be an utterly selfish and destructive asshole put them off from the character entirely because "ohh he's mean now". it's so weird. like god forbid a character has flaws or does objectively horrible things that makes them more entertaining /sarc.
it's kinda like the whole discourse surrounding Pomni "abandoning" Ragatha in the pilot. a lot of people were deeming Pomni to be a terrible character because she did something that could be perceived as "morally incorrect" when 1. she was scared and confused out of her mind and practically in survival mode the entire time she was there, 2. she literally just met Ragatha a while ago and wasn't in the right place to properly prioritise anything but her own survival, and 3. characters are allowed to do """immoral""" things because it's interesting, it makes them more complex and it drives the plot. oh yeah, and they're not real!!! they can't hurt anyone!!! it's so confusing how people will see a character with flaws and then get so enraged about how immoral they are, while completely missing the point as to why a character has flaws in the first place.
i just find it funny how people saw Jax in the first episode, visualised a bad boy version of him in their heads and then got super mad when he was even meaner deliberately in the second one and isn't exactly what they wanted him to be. like you guys just pulled a full 180 and went from loving him to despising him in and instant. characters will have something deserving of a character arc and twitter fandom kiddies will become livid about it.
by the way, i thought Jax being even more of an asshole shined a brighter light on his troubled nature. like,,, to me it seems Jax's asshole-ish attitude is kind of a mask for deeper insecurities, especially when you see his face soften during Kaufmo's funeral, before quickly replacing it with anger and walking away. i think he's grappling with some heavy shit and trying to hide it behind a troublemaker attitude and constantly causing chaos and destruction to distract himself. i think that's why he got so angry and frustrated during the second episode, because he couldn't always have his way. he's definitely hiding something. whether it has something to do with Kaufmo, his situation or both, i wanna see what happens and what's going on with him.
personally, i want Jax to get worse, because it would be a very interesting look at how he deals with the circus compared to everyone else. i want him to get so aggressive and asshole-ish that he does something he deeply regrets (in reference to what a tweet from Gooseworx teases). to me, the biggest allure of TADC is the way the characters react to what's going on around them. each character has such a different way of coping with everything and i think Jax's way of coping, desiring chaos and death and destruction, would be an interesting look into who he is as a character. i want his harmful coping skills to drive him to a breaking point because hell yeah, character development!!! i want to see what makes the asshole into something closer to not really being as much of an asshole as he started out as.
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muddyorbsblr · 1 year
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the right partner
See my full list of works here!
Summary: You had no intentions of joining Stark's party, considering that your ex had just dumped you two days ago and he was already announcing his new relationship. And then along came Loki, offering to be your date for the night…
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Word Count: 4.8k
Warnings: language (yeah no, not sorry, Rogers); little bit of steam at the end; reader w/ insecurities [let me know if i missed anything!]
Things to be aware of: Steve is the ex; Nat & Wanda offering violence to avenge their bestie; borderline dangerous dancing stunts (don't try this at home, kids); coworkers/teammates to lovers
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"Babes, stop fussing over the dress. You look hot. It's giving revenge dress if I do say so myself. Everyone covering the event will take one look at you and see without a doubt in their mind that you won this break up. Especially considering how hot your dates are."
Natasha nudged your shoulder playfully, probably in hopes of wiping the scowl off of the reflection staring back at you as you adjusted the strap of your midnight blue mermaid dress, making sure everything was secure and no unflattering angles were even remotely feasible.
Then again you could barely walk properly in the damn thing, so there really wasn't much room for awkward and unflattering, considering that you'd be able to do little more than stand and pose. You'd wanted to trade in the dress for something that gave you a bit more breathing room considering that the man that chose -- well, he'd argue strongly encouraged -- the dress was no longer your date for the night, but your choices would be stiflingly limited with how close you'd have been cutting it if you'd returned it.
Two days to break up, pack up, move your things out of his apartment in the compound, move back into your own apartment, clean up said apartment to make it at least livable once again, cry a bit, and then ready yourself for this charity ball? There wasn't time to return the dress that Steve chose, let alone pick out a new one. Even with the help of both Nat and Wanda.
"Remind me to thank Bucky and Vision for letting me steal you two away tonight?"
"Don't even worry about it. But maybe you could talk to Bucky later and tell him that there isn't even a shred of this that's his fault? He somehow got it into his head that because Steve's his best friend he should have sensed something. Should've told me. Or directly told you. He's been feeling like shit over this whole thing since I came home two days ago and told him I had to help you clean out your stuff from Rogers' apartment and move back into your old one."
Just as you were about to reassure the Russian spy that you would talk to her husband the second you got the chance to when there were no nosy reporters lurking around corners or planting microphones around the event to capture their next juicy story, Wanda walked into the room, her expression colored with a mix of pity and irritation.
"Well he might feel a hell of a lot worse now that he's seeing in real time what his best buddy's been doing since the breakup." Nausea began to swirl in your stomach as they each took one of your hands and the sorceress led you to the conference hall that had been fully decked out for tonight's event. The crowd had gathered around the dance floor, phones out and whispering amongst one another as they looked on the couple in the center.
"Oh you've got to be fucking shitting me," Nat bellowed in outrage, her hand leaving yours and wrapping around your waist to ensure you were still standing straight. "You even asked him point blank about her and he brushed you off--"
"Don't worry about her, Cookie, I'm just making sure she has the best training available to her," you seethed, feeling yourself shaking in your friend's hold as you repeated Steve's words to you just last week. "Babes, I don't think I even wanna go in there. I can already see the fucking headlines. Heartbroken Avenger Y/N Y/L/N seeks the comfort of her girlfriends' company as former lover Captain America debuts his new relationship with SHIELD Agent Ava WhatsHerFace. This isn't worth it. You two go. Be with your husbands. I'm going home."
"Are you sure?" Wanda squeezed your other hand, her free arm already radiating her signature red magic. "I can trip her and make them fall flat on their asses, just say the word."
It took you a great deal to not take her up on her offer, instead opting to just squeeze her hand back before letting go, maneuvering yourself out of their hold. "I'm sure. No tripping anybody, you two. Last thing we need is the internet speculating on which sides the Avengers are taking in what they're gonna try and spin as the breakup that shocked the world, and then making these idiotic theories about how we might cause a reiteration of Germany right here in the Big Apple."
"Okay what if I just poisoned her drink no one would know it was me--"
"Babes, everyone would know it was you," you cut off the spy. "No poison. No tripping. Not even a backhanded compliment. If you really can't stand the sight of her then walk away. Otherwise Pepper will kill us over making a scene over this and I'm not even joining the damn party but she'll drag me in anyway because she's gonna figure out that you two did what you did because of me."
"You're a better woman than that little shit ever deserved," Wanda grumbled, pulling you into a quick embrace. "We'll see you after the party then? Because no way in hell are you sleeping alone tonight."
"After," you confirmed, already walking away from the two as they walked toward the bar to where Bucky and Vision were undoubtedly standing and waiting patiently for them.
You'd walked down a good few feet down the hall when a voice halted you.
"Y/N?" You inwardly groaned at the sound of Loki calling out to you. The absolute last thing you needed was the member of the team who was undoubtedly and objectively the most unfairly breathtakingly beautiful person in all of New York -- hell, in all of the world as far as you were concerned -- seeing you in the dejected state you were in.
You did your best to plaster on a half-smile as you turned to face the god. "Hey, Mischief." You threw him a cursory glance, your heart skipping a good few beats when you registered his bespoke Burnham green tuxedo forming to his sculpted body like a well-worn leather glove. "You look great."
"You're breathtaking," he sighed, walking the rest of the distance and stopping a few steps in front of you. "As you always are." He gave you a curt smile, his fingers visibly twitching in your direction as he kept his hands to his sides. "Are you not joining the gala?"
"Thinking I might sit this one out, actually," you murmured, grimacing at just how miserable you sounded to your own ears. "Considering it doing Pepper a solid and making sure that tonight's all about whatever cause Stark decided to back this time around and not about the untimely demise of me and Rogers. The last thing we need is me becoming the center of attention because the media published headlines calling me the Heartbroken Avenger because I walked in there with my friends while my ex debuts his shiny new toy." You took an awkward step back, giving him an even more inelegant wave his way. "You have fun, though, Mischief."
He took your hand in his as you were turning away from him. "What if I escorted you?" Something with his soft spoken tone, partnered with the way his thumb was stroking the back of your hand, had you struggling to take your next breath. "We could walk in together, and it wouldn't cross anybody's mind to call you heartbroken or lonely or anything of the sort."
You couldn't help but scoff at his offer. "I'm not sure you wanna take on the media vultures who'll write about you getting Captain America's sloppy seconds. Hell, if I walk in there with you they'll think you probably did it out of pity. People already paint me as someone they don't think could have pulled the likes of Steve, but if we walk in there together you'll never hear the end of how charitable you were to--"
"Stop that," he cut you off, his tone sibilant and terse as if he was slicing through your self-pity party for one. "Rogers is an imbecile, he always has been. To have held painite in his uncouth hands and traded it in for mere rubble." He took a step closer to you, making you struggle to hide the shudder than ran through you when you could practically feel the warmth of his body radiating from him. "To walk into that room with you would not be an act of charity, darling. It would be an honor. A privilege."
"Okay come on that's enough--"
"How I wish you could see yourself the way I do," he murmured, his free hand lightly grasping your chin and making it impossible to turn your gaze from him. "Come with me. We'll share a dance and afterward if you still wish to leave then we will."
"Are you insane?" you blurted out, shaking your head at how absurd his offer was. "If you walk in with me and you leave with me, you're gonna find out real quick that people actually can hate me more than they did when I was dating Steve, because now I'm preventing you from getting all the pretty girls' numbers in the party. There are supermodels in there, Mischief. Pretty sure there're some princesses, too. They came here for you."
"Then they will leave disappointed," he answered back, the corner of his mouth pulling in a smirk as he watched your brows knit together in clear confusion. "As for attaining the contact information of, how did you phrase it again? Pretty girls? I already have that of the most beguiling woman who would be in that gala, I truly need no more." He let go of your hand to reach for his phone and tap away at it to call whoever he was referring to.
A few seconds later your little purse began to ring, making you give him a pointed stare. "Smooth." Your phone stopped ringing as soon as he put his away, finding yourself fighting to breathe properly once more when he placed his hand back in yours. "Fine," you huffed. "But we're not dancing, I can barely walk in this stupid thing, the dance floor would turn into a crime scene if I so much as spun wrong."
The soft chuckle that escaped his lips filled you with a weird sense of pride, knowing that even for a few short moment the usually terse god felt comfortable enough around you to seem so unguarded. He released his hold on you to hover his hands by your waist. "May I?"
You took a moment to try figuring out what he meant before answering, "I don't know what you're asking for but alright. I trust you."
His playful demeanor faltered for a moment, eyebrows knitting together and raising slightly before he placed his hands on your waist and gently guiding you to turn and facing the mirrored wall. Your breath hitched in your throat with a squeak as his gaze met yours on the reflection, bringing his face level to yours, his lips hovering just beside your ear. "Beautiful as you are in this dress, darling, you look as if you'd been forced to conform into something you're not. You were made to move freely, as gracefully and as fluidly as you move in the field."
You held your breath as you watched his magic washing over you, your dress melting away from the shoulders down and slowly being replaced with a dark emerald silk gown that stopped just below your ankles, the skirt flaring out from the waist with a slit going up to the middle of your thigh. The feel of your hair cascading down your back had you realizing that you were so caught up in the spectacle of your dress changing before your very eyes that you'd barely felt his fingers deftly taking the pins out of your hair and undoing the tightly knotted bun that borderline violently pulled at your temples.
"Hmmm…much better." You fought against the chill that ran throughout your body at the low tone of his voice reverberating in your ear. "Just one more…tiny flourish." His hand moved from your hair to rest his fingers lightly on the juncture between your neck and shoulder, a slight smile appearing on his face in the reflection when your breathing became audibly staggered as a teardrop emerald pendant hanging off a gold chain materialized around your neck. "Himmelske," he breathed out, the vision of him lightly pressing his lips to the top of your head making your pulse pound in your ears. "Shall we?"
"This is too much…" you sighed, turning around to face him and nearly stumbling over your own feet when you saw how close your faces were to one another.  "I can't possibly--"
"You can, darling." He took your hand in his again and brought it up towards his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles, all the while his eyes never leaving yours. "You look ethereal, like a goddess walking among mortals." He pressed his lips to your knuckles once more. "Min gudinne." He began to walk backwards towards the party, keeping your hands intertwined as he led you down the hall, typing something away a quick message on his phone as the music from the repurposed conference hall gradually grew louder.
Once you were mere feet away from the doors leading to the conference hall, the old-fashioned music that made you want to retch on the spot screeched to a halt, and Tony's voice boomed through the speakers.
"Alright Cap that's enough, some of us actually don't want to see our dinner a second time tonight." The crowd began to chuckle at his joking barbs toward your ex. "Why don't you and your new babydoll take a breather for a minute. Or a hundred. While I go ahead and play on a special request for…well I'll be damned…Reindeer Games."
The sound of Tony's little nickname for Loki had you growing frigid in the god's hold. "Mischief, what did you do?"
Your question went unanswered, him opting to give you a soft smile as he lifted your joint hands up to place a tender kiss to the back of your hand before leading you to the center of the dance floor, the sound of your friends' claps and cheers -- as well as a round of hearty hollers from both Bucky and Thor -- filling the room and overpowering the piano intro of "Tightrope" by Sara Bareilles playing over the speakers as soon as you came into view.
Glares tinged with thinly veiled envious rage weighed down on you like cinder blocks as the raven-haired Asgardian placed his hand on your lower back, bringing your bodies within mere inches of one another. "Everyone's staring," you wavered, trying to keep your breathing even as he began to lead you in a basic waltz around the dance floor.
"Envious, petulant mortals," he answered with a sneer, giving you a small smirk at the end. "Likely because I have the most beautiful date among them all."
"Do gods wear glasses?" you bit back, scoffing softly at his words. "Because I'm pretty sure Adriana Lima is here and--"
"I can see quite clearly, precious mortal," he cut you off, the gentle tone of his voice not once wavering. "Better than you think." He upped the pace of your steps, the smile on his face growing wider as your steps became less structured and he raised your joint hands to spin you on the spot, your dress twirling fluidly with each step before he pulled you back to him, now chest to chest as he resumed leading you in a large circle around the floor. "You seem surprised, darling."
"I usually would have stepped on your toes by now," you whispered, your breath hitching as every step you took together felt perfectly synced, a part of you heavily dreading stumbling and sending you both into a clumsy heap on the floor. Especially with the even closer proximity of your bodies to one another. "Are you doing this?" He answered you with a slight furrow of his eyebrows. "Did you enchant the dress? The necklace? My shoes?"
"I did nothing of the sort, dear Y/N," he whispered into your ear, the feel of his breath on your skin sending your heart into overdrive. "Perhaps you'd simply been with the wrong partners all your life." You faintly registered the way his hold on you tightened the slightest bit. "I wish to prove it to you. A little flourish both for our benefit and for the entertainment of our audience."
A sequence of movements was projected into your mind, each motion requiring complete trust in your partner as you climbed over his back, held up only by your joint hands and your knee braced on his shoulder as he spun on the spot. And then capped off with a dismount that had you hanging upside down and suspended as such for a few moments before righting yourself on your feet.
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"Do you trust me, darling?"
You didn't need to think twice about your answer. "Yes." He flashed a brilliant smile before twirling you away and out of his hold, turning his back to you and giving you a silent signal to execute the move. Within a few short moments you were propped up on his shoulder, held up by your joint hands and feeling as if you were flying as he executed each turn with visible ease.
The faces of the crowd, a mixture of pure shock and awe, said it all. No one on the team had ever placed that much trust in Loki, despite the countless times he'd undoubtedly saved any and all of you throughout your numerous missions together. And here you were giving everyone a blatant display that among all the members of the team, you probably trusted him the most.
There wasn't even the slightest tremble in your movement as you executed the dismount, briefly giving them all a face-splitting grin that nearly mirrored the blond Asgardian watching from the bar as he looked on at the spectacle you and his brother had created before turning back and facing your partner. The next moment he'd gone back to holding you and twirling you both around the dance floor with a slight flourish as you reunited.
"There you are, precious mortal," he breathed out, securing his arm around your waist and lifting you off your feet as he spun you both again, the skirt of your dress billowing from the motion and creating a perfect flourish to your steps, earning you various oohs and aahs from the audience. You assumed that the bitter hmph sounds came from your ex and Miss Ava WhatsHerFace. "I've missed seeing that smile on you. It's been months too long. How I wanted to strike at Rogers' face the moment I saw the light in you wavering."
"You saw that?" You prided yourself in concealing your insecurities and the downward spiral that your mind had taken the moment that the new recruit had been assigned to train for the Avengers, painting on a bright disposition despite the interest that Steve had taken in her and the rapidly dwindling attention he paid to you in turn.
It never occurred to you that people might be looking closer than you intended them to. Or that one of those people would be someone you'd carried feelings for ever since long before you and Rogers ever even went out on the first date. You kept on guilting yourself that you were no better than him, if you were being completely honest.
The only leg up you had over your ex was that at least you did right by him and you never acted on anything. But then again you had no reason to believe that you could; in your eyes, Loki had to reason to see you, let alone return your sentiment.
"I see you, Y/N," he murmured, bringing his hand higher up your back, leaning forward, and tilting you backward in a low dip. "I've always seen you." Your heart caught in your throat as you felt him press a soft kiss to your cheek before bringing you both back up to stand upright, a new sequence of movements projected into your mind.
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This time of him lifting you into the air, a hand braced on your lower back, the other wrapped around your ankle, followed by a drop that would land you safely in his arms and have the god carrying you bridal style. You could see the silent question shining in his eyes as the projected image fizzled away, awaiting your answer. "I trust you," you whispered, taking a breath as he turned you to face away from him and lifted you into the air with ease.
There wasn't a single doubt in your mind even in that split second where you were falling through the air. You knew you were safe with him. Physically at least.
Emotionally it felt like he was leading you to the edge of a cliff, and you were all too happy to step off if it meant he'd look at you even remotely like he did throughout any point of tonight.
You landed in his arms with a soft, nearly soundless thud, once again met with appreciative applause from the room of onlookers and Tony's voice once again sounding through the speakers. "Jellybean, I take back every joke I ever made about your dancing. Now I know it wasn't you that made those moves bad and that's all I'm gonna say on that. Give it up for these two one more time, ladies and gentlemen!"
A traitorous squeak from the back of your throat slipped from your lips as the god carrying you briefly touched the tip of his nose to yours and pressed a kiss between your brows before setting you back down on your feet, taking your hand in his and lacing his fingers between yours. He led you through the dance floor that was quickly becoming crowded as a rhythmic thumping beat boomed from the sound system, placing you directly in front of him with his free arm wrapped around your midsection.
Once you'd reached the bar, crossing paths with Nat and Wanda and their respective husbands as they made their way to the dance floor, only Thor remained to greet you as you occupied two seats next to one another. "Brother, elation becomes you." Before he walked toward the buffet, handing his empty plate to one of the cleaning staff, he turned to face you. "Take care of him. Actually, take care of each other."
Your brows knitted together as you watched the blond Asgardian walk away, confusion niggling away at your brain as you turned your gaze back to Loki. "What was that--"
The rest of your sentence died on the tip of your tongue as the raven-haired god cupped your jaw, weaving his fingers through your hair, as he closed the distance between you and captured your lips in a soft kiss. You whimpered against him as he stood from his seat, framing your face with his hands as he stepped closer to you, all the while his lips never leaving yours.
He breathed your name as he pulled away, the way that he seemingly sounded almost as flustered as you were paired with the restraint so evident in his hold on you creating a heady combination that made the room spin. "He never deserved you."
Those words had your eyes snapping open, wondering if you'd heard him right. "Loki what--"
"And you should have had someone that treasured you. Worshipped you. That knew with every fiber of his being that he was the most fortunate bastard in the Nine for being the one that you shared the most intimate parts of your life with." Your heart thundered in your ears as he leaned in to kiss you again. "Someone that would proudly show whoever was around to watch that he is equally yours as you are his. Perhaps even more so."
"Are you trying to tell me that that someone is you?" The music had faded away to nothing more than a dull thumping in the background as you looked into his eyes, rife with emotions that you couldn't quite place as his hands traveled down to wrap around your waist, stepping closer to you, and leaning in to press a soft kiss to your temple.
"If you would let me," he murmured against your skin. "He was but a fool to have let you go. But if his foolishness leads to my fortune, then perhaps I could be moved to despise him a little less." He kissed a trail from your temple to your ear, making your breath hitch again as his thumb stroked at your side and tracing the faint lines of your ribcage while he whispered a deliciously tempting offer. "Leave with me. Let me be the fortunate wretch that gets to take you home. That gets to worship you, to pleasure you. Even if only for tonight, let me make you equally mine as I am yours. As I have always been yours."
His offer alone already had you trembling in anticipation for what he could possibly have in store for you the moment you gave him your answer. "I have to find Nat and Wanda," you blurted out, making a motion to step off of your seat.
"Y/N please--"
"They offered to stop by my apartment after the party," you explained, mustering the courage to press a quick kiss to his lips when you watched in disbelief as a touch of desperation colored his features. "They wanted to make sure I wasn't going to sleep alone tonight. I have to tell them I have other plans."
A brilliant smile stretched across his face as he pulled you in for another kiss, both of you moaning into each other's mouths as he pulled you against him, lifting you out of your seat and setting you back down on your feet, holding you in his arms the same way he did a few moments ago as you weaved your way through the crowd.
It didn't take you long to find the two women in question, tapping both of them on their shoulders to call their attention. "Rain check on the sleepover?" you shouted over the music.
Wanda took one look at how Loki was holding you and eyed Nat with a smirk. "You got a better offer, I see. Go, babes. We just wanted to make sure you didn't sleep alone tonight."
"Now we gotta make sure you stay awake at the mission brief in the morning because you won't be sleeping at all," Nat capped off with a raise of her eyebrow. She eyed the god holding you with a pointed glare. "If you hurt her--"
"I wouldn't dream of it, Romanoff," he cut her off. "Unlike some people in our non-immediate company, I have every intention of holding on to painite with every ounce of my strength."
Your brows once again knitted together as your friends began to squeal and giggle while you walked away with the god, the alcohol clearly beginning to get to them. "Okay I have to ask. What exactly is painite? You've…said that twice tonight," you prodded, looking up at him only to be met with a tender smile and an intensity burning in his eyes that nearly made you fall over.
"It is the rarest, most precious gemstone on this planet. Perhaps in all the realms," he answered, turning you in his arms as soon as you stepped foot into the corridor and walking you backwards until your back was flush against the wall. "And despite its crimson hue I would still say undoubtedly the most beautiful." You shuddered under his gaze as he trailed a finger from the center of your neck down your torso until he reached your waist and pulled you to him for a fleeting but heated kiss. "That is how I see you. Rare. Precious. And undoubtedly the most beautiful creature I will ever lay my eyes on."
The next moment your surroundings were awash with a wave of his green magic, and you were inside his apartment, your moans piercing the quiet darkness as his lips latched on to your neck and you felt his hands working to divest you of your dress. His next words, rasped against your skin, already had your legs shaking without him having even begun to touch you yet.
"Mine. Finally mine."
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A/N: Omg I've finally finished it 😩 And he's precious your honor 🥹 I've honestly had this idea bouncing around in my head for so many days now that I'm so happy that it's finally out for y'all to read and (hopefully) enjoy.
There is a plan for a part 2 of this but it's literally all smut and it's a long ways away because I have every intention to get into 'relinquish the crown' again and also 'back to you'…and also the requests from the 500 follower celebration so just like 'sworn fealty'…it might happen, it might not happen, and that's that on that.
Translations: Himmelske – Heavenly Min gudinne – My goddess
'everything' taglist: @sailorholly @loopsisloops @unlucky-number-13 @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @sarahscribbles @kats72 @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lovelysizzlingbluebird @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @dangertoozmanykids101 @elizabethmidnight2017 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95
Loki taglist:  @calumance @severuslovebot @moonlightreader649 @i-stand-with-loki @nixymarvelkins @infinitystoner @lokisgoodgirl @purplegrrl27 @thedistractedagglomeration
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melandrops · 7 months
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The Magnus Archives Entities as Greek Gods
The Vast - Zeus
The all powerful, infinite cosmic force that is both the king of the gods and the fear of insignificance. The fear of falling, and of openness. Pray that when lightning strikes, you will not taste ozone on your tongue.
The Buried - Poseidon
The ocean could very well be a part of the Vast, but they are fundamentally opposed. The same sides of a coin, one side pewter the other side copper. Two kings that rule next to each other yet are complete opposites. Pray that his brutal storms do not swallow you whole, crushing you under the weight of his world.
The End - Hades
He is the one inevitability of the world. He waits, passive, for victims. The other gods squabble and bicker and play their games while he looks on from the Underworld and knows that he is the ultimate winner. It is pointless to hope that he will not claim you eventually. Pray that you will be contented when he does.
The Web - Athena
The goddess of strategy, of weaving and trickery and cunning. She once cursed a girl to become a spider for her insolence. Pray that she does not lay her marionette strings over you, for then you will never know free will again.
The Slaughter - Ares
The god of war, and the gleam of bloodshed in your eyes and the eyes of the person on the other end of the battlefield. Pray that the blood streaking your hands and face is not your own.
The Corruption - Aphrodite
She is love, and the unbecoming of it all. The deadly force that eats away at your soul and changes you into someone you don't recognize anymore. She whispers that she is the most good and right form of the world, but her kiss is made of rot. Pray that her love will not break you apart piece by piece.
The Eye - Apollo
The god of the sun, who sees all the occurs in the daylight. Prophecy, truth, and the goings on of the world are the way he idles his time away. Pray that you are not intriguing enough to catch his vicious interest.
The Lonely - Hestia
She is the goddess of the hearth, of warmth and of family. Yet it was she who was foisted out of Olympus to make way for Dionysus. She tends to a hearth with no visitors to warm themselves by it. Pray that she does not beckon you to join her by the empty fire.
The Stranger - Dionysus
His parties are the raucous screams in the night, and people who walk in will never walk out the same person. There will always be something a little bit off about them. Pray that when the wine touches your lips you will still recognize yourself the next morning.
The Desolation - Hephaestus
Ugly, marred and disfigured. His wife refuses to look at him. He burns with a rage that he cannot distinguish as self hatred or as loathing for the world he lives in. He toys with the fire in his forge and the burns are the only thing that bring him joy anymore. Pray that he does not look at you with that fiery hatred in his eyes.
The Hunt - Artemis
She hunts in the dead of night, armed by the protection of the moon. Occasionally she enlists help. But always, she will dedicate herself to the next hunt. Pray you are not next.
The Flesh - Prometheus
He built humans out of clay. He built them with imperfections they would see in the mirror and insecurities that feel like a gaping pit in their chest. The god of innovation is also a god who wants their passions to hurt. Pray that when he creates you, your imperfections do not swallow you whole.
The Spiral - Janus
Doors and transitions and new beginnings but also endings all rolled into one. Everything and anything but also nothing and no one. He is a two faced god of deception and lies, and you can never trust what either face tells you. Pray for truth, but there is no point.
The Dark - Nyx
She's always there. Waiting for Apollo to leave. You're not safe from her. No matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise, the most animal part of your brain will always fear her. Pray that she smiles at you without teeth as she watches while you sleep.
The Extinction - Pan
He is the god of nature, and there is no length he will not go to in order to protect it. Mankind is but a blemish on the world. The wild, untamable forces of nature will conquer it eventually. Pray that you will be overlooked when it floods the cities and burns the crops.
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heretherebedork · 9 months
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The way we start the episode, with Yoh in the shirt Segasaki bought for him and obviously coming out to show him, eager to be seen in his new gift and only a little nervous... He's so desperate to be loved.
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And Segasaki gives him what Yoh so desperately craves... words of affirmation! And Yoh absolutely lights up. He is desperate for love but he needs that love in the most straightforward words possible or he'll overthink every movement, touch and choice and that seems to be something Segasaki still doesn't recognize. He still, and constantly, tries to show love in every other way besides words.
But this was so good. This showed exactly what Yoh is looking for and that Segasaki can give it. Look at his smile! He lights up like fireworks, so bright and brilliant, just from that tiny little compliment. I am losing my mind over them, okay?
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And Segasaki steps in with the order, taking control of the situation and their relationship again... but in the process forcing Yoh to break a promise and putting him a position where he, again, is reminded that he agreed to obey him. Which he might enjoy but because he still doesn't totally believe that Segasaki loves him... well, it's a lot harder.
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In which Segasaki gives orders that are about love but because he uses orders without words of affection... Yoh misunderstands and is ashamed instead. I absolutely believe that if Yoh felt loved, he would view all of these orders differently. But he doesn't. Because the one love language he recognizes is the one that Segasaki uses the most sparingly and with the least clarity.
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Can I also point out that Segasaki is constantly bathed in light this entire scene, bright and unearthly, while Yoh is very grounded and more in the shadows. It's because Segasaki knows that he loves Yoh and that Yoh cares about him return while Yoh is still confused and unsure about their relationship and how he feels, let alone how Segasaki feels.
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Welcome back to 'Yoh desperately wants to be loved and owned exactly as Segasaki is doing it but needs verbal and language-forward confirmation that Segasaki simply doesn't think anyone should need'.
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The bright and nearly colorless Segasaski looming over Yoh as he tells his Matsudaira he was ordered to stay home and you can feel his own tension here, between wanting the orders but also that doubt he still has about Segasaki and it's just all so good.
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Have I mentioned that Yoh is tiny and adorable and confused and desperate because he is and he breaks my heart. Because he is so loved and he could be so, so happy but the communication barrier between himself and Segasaki is a mile wide and a mile high and neither one of them knows how to scale it. It is especially not helped by the nature of their relationship and what Yoh needs from Segasaki.
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Yoh knowing that his friend is a huge fan of Segasaki and that Segasaki will turn on the charm with her in a way he so rarely does with him and the fact that he can't trust that charm. The panic. But also the complete lack of reaction to Segasaki pushing him across the hall. That doesn't bother him at all.
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She's more sure about their relationship than Yoh is. I love that.
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The isolation that Yoh feels isn't changing. He's still unsure about their relationship or where he stands with Segasaki, insecure and afraid and he still feels like he's always on shaky ground, like Segasaki turns on the charm with everyone but him.
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This is what she sees. Not what Yoh sees. And that's where the disconnect lies. Because you have to look past just his words to see Segasaki's love but Yoh is afraid of trusting that. He's unsure how to read the way he acts and how to respond and so much of his aloofness is a desperate attempt to protect himself.
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Yoh clings to Segasaki desperately while he says this because what he hates is the insecurity and the unsure way he feels and everything about this relationship that leaves him on shaky and unsteady ground all the time, constantly going from one emotional feeling to another without a break inbetween.
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Segasaki loves Yoh so much but he enjoys him jealous and childish and he likes the way he is as a brat... the problem is that he isn't giving Yoh the steady base he needs to also be himself and Segasaki is starting to see that. He wants the old things they used to share but can't have them because Yoh is constantly on unsteady ground with him and so cannot give him what he wants except when he's drunk or otherwise in a more extreme state.
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This is probably the most interesting moment here. Because it's obvious that Segasaki really loves this side of Yoh, when he's a little jealous and very clingy and very needy and just wants to be with him and be loved and be tamed. But, right now, the only way to get it is for him to be drunk.
But how much of that is Segasaki's choices coming into play? He still hasn't figured out that Yoh's singular love language is words and that he needs this kind of thing spelled out to him or he overthinks and spirals no matter how much orders Segasaki gives him to the contrary. Because Segasaki is definitely the brat-tamer Dom here and Yoh wants that, needs that, but he also needs the words in order to recognize what's going on.
Just because everyone else sees what's going on doesn't mean he does.
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I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 5)
Most see this as a Staroba moment (not saying it's wrong to see it that way), but I'm like: why is Star’s first thought after he is brutally kicked to casually admit how he deserved to be hurt that much? He could have fallen to his death! Like, dude, stop. You're breaking my heart. Just look at how chill he sounds:
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no starlo.. please be more gentle with yourself And then he says how his and Ceroba's mistakes were the same?
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How??
What she did was MUCH MUCH worse. It's like comparing Papyrus to Alphys or Asgore. And I don't even hate Ceroba, or Asgore, or even Alphys. They're all flawed but well-written characters (gonna discuss the fox woman soon) But like… Ceroba not only had time to process things (and plan everything) but got support from Star. He didn't get either. The posse and Ceroba all left him hanging, all because of his enthusiasm and insecurities (that somehow nobody ever picked up on; the struggle of people who always seem happy is real) and good intentions. His entire life fell apart without him expecting it, all at once. Even worse, no one who was supposed to be there WAS there. And when Ceroba finally intervenes she basically reveals to us how North Star was someone no one liked?
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I really hope she meant just who he was while Clover was there. Otherwise….
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She better not be saying that, for the years this persona existed, they all hated it. That they hated this part of Star, the insecure part. They obviously wanted him to go back to being the Nice Guy™ (but like, he was always nice. The only time he was overly enthusiastic was when he met a real human for the 1st time and got to live his dream. Ceroba basically says how, well, the guy’s lived a pretty unfulfilling life before he found out about westerns. They gave his entire life meaning. She should have been more patient with him istg.)
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Ceroba’s actions were manipulative. She never planned to tell anyone the truth. She wouldn't have told anyone the truth, EVER, if Star and Ed hadn't found out about her secret. Starlo on the other hand felt lost, since he got 0 support. Ceroba had Star. He gave her a free home. He was so thoughtful as to think "my childhood friend is currently crying herself to sleep, alone at home, why not give her company and ask her to stay with us?" Ceroba got a hug from Clover, lots of understanding from the kid, Martlet and Starlo. She got easy forgiveness. Star had to make up to his group himself and be the only one who apologizes. Even though they’d been gaslighting him (is that the right word for this situation?) for years apparently, or didn't let him enjoy himself for once in his life (depending on how you choose to interpret it). He even said sorry for forgetting to turn off the rock machines. Yeah, he deff goes back to Nice Guy™ AND does it pretty damn quickly when you think about it, after how much he was forced to deal with all at once ALL BY HIMSELF before Ceroba came and lectured him for the most part. He really is emotionally strong
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yeah, ceroba didn't comfort star like this when he was at his lowest (bonus points for him soothing her all while grieving for the child he clearly saw as his own)
Even though she thought she was doing the right thing, Ceroba was a twist villain. Starlo was no villain. He just really hated himself, was glad to find someone who could understand both his passion and his beliefs (aka Clover), really wanted to finally feel useful and expected others to enjoy his fantasy world as much as he did. As a farmer he felt like he couldn't do anything for himself and his community. He only wanted to help the best he knew and got carried away.
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tetsunabouquet · 4 months
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Loved the interpretation and writing of my last request! If you dont mind, here's a new one. Tw! Anorexia
Gom with a reader suffering from severe restricting eating to the point where they passed out in public or private, your choice. Again, sorry if this is triggering.
A/N: Thank you for the compliment! Trigger warnings for the readers up in the request
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Akashi
-Don't expect this guy to be surprised. He has been suspecting it for a while. -When you faint in front of him, his heart sinks in that ultimate, 'Oh no,' moment. -Actually has a minor panic attack. -Flashbacks to his mom. -He'll do everything he can to wake you up. -Once you're awake, he'll have food arranged for you and he's guilt tripping you to eat it. -"Don't make me lose another person that I love."
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Aomine
-Has actually told you before about how you should gain a little more weight as he notices the thinness but doesn't has the intellectual brain capacity to suspect something like an ED. -When you faint, it still doesn't registers in his mind but he does immediately recognize that you needed something to eat. -Momoi is the one to tell him she suspects your disordered eating, and Aomine's heart honestly breaks at the news. -He is demanding you to tell him which stupid idiot convinced you that you were fat, so that he can beat them up right now. -You are honestly touched to see him be so angry and upset on your behalf, he is so pure with his praise and love for you. -Demands that you eat with him at the Maji burger at least once a week and that you try to finish the meal he buys for you.
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Murasakibara
-Like Aomine, he doesn't has any suspicions regarding the behavior itself but he does notices you don't eat enough. -Murasakibara just cradles you confused in his arms as Himuro tells him what to do next as well as mention his suspicions about your restrictve eating. -Murasakibara honestly stares at you like you're an alien creature as he has to process the idea that people can hate food that much, thank god you're unconscious and you can't see his face. -He makes up his mind to be the person to cure you of that hate. -Dumps pretty much all candy and snacks he has on him on you the moment you wake up all the whilst giving you a look as sweet and pure as the candy itself. -He increases little habbits like feeding you, because clearly you need it.
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Midorima
-Has been taking calculated notes of how much you eat, but is afraid of coming off too strong so he refrains from daring to ask the question. -When you faint he has the most perfect response ever, and manages to stay calm even though he is breaking down on the inside with worry. -Confronts you sternly but lovingly once you wake up, he only wants the best for you. -Reads multiple books on how to be a supportive partner. -Honestly he's adorable with how hard he tries to be there for you. -After the event, he prepares you a bento in the theme of your lucky item of the day, always. Even on the days you can't bring yourself to eat it, he doesn't minds and just hoped carrying the lucky item themed lunch brought you courage in different ways.
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Kise
-Knows. Immediately. -As a model, he has far too much model contacts not to know about that dark side of the industry so he knows all the signs. -Is the only one to have confronted you about it before it got to the fainting stage. -Honestly he bawls like a baby when you faint in front of him, because this was exactly like he feared. -He manages to get the number of a great treatment program from another model that is combatting her own ED after you woke up again and got him to calm down. -Tries to feed you all the time whilst acting as cutesy as possible, full idol mode. Because he hopes it will do the trick. -He tries to uplift you by talking about his own insecurities, as being under the limelight does also open him up to scrutiny way more then the average person.
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