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queenimmadolla · 1 year

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𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

(Tattoo Artist!Eddie Munson x Apprentice!Reader)

Summary: . . . After deciding you were meant for more than what life had in store for you, you gave into the siren call of the city─well a city. But when city life finally eats away at your bank account and your main source of income isn't reliable, you take on an apprenticeship at a tattoo shop where your boss is the six-foot something, tattoo covered Eddie Munson who quickly and unwisely becomes intrigued by you. Nothing romantic can come from it, lest you risk it being torn apart by your past, his lover and yourself.

Entire Work Warnings: 18+ (smut will take place in later chapters), swearing, financial problems, mentions of loss, escorts/call girls, age gap (Eddie is 36, reader is 25), financial shaming, slut shaming, implied sexual harassment, bimbo!reader (she may not be book smart but she knows the score) angst, self-sabotage.

a/n: my fav little hater was upset about my post getting interactions again so they flagged it to be incorrectly labeled, meaning it's hidden from the majority of people so repost time! there is no mature content in this chapter, suck it. based on my initial post and elements of Breakfast at Tiffany's. next chapters will be significantly juicer, this was just something to get us going. this is dedicated to @munsonology, happy birthday and I hope this year was a good one! and a very gratitude filled thank you to my dear friend, @kitmon, for continuing to be an an amazing beta! hope you guys like it so far ♡ (attempting the keep reading feature, fingers crossed)

word count: 5k

“They don’t bite.” “Hmn?” Came your absent-minded reply, eyes cutting from the harpy, evil in her eyes and blood soaking her talons, to the man flipping through the red binder you’d been carrying around you in the Indianapolis heat.

Sweat evaporated off your skin, giving away to goosebumps in the air conditioned shop, a much welcome relief to the borderline unbearable heatwave settling over the city streets, something that can be found in every nook and cranny. You’d been navigating your way throughout the city since before dawn broke, eager to get your fill of it while the streets were quiet and a decent temperature. It had been almost chilly this morning, your thick strapped tank top and daisy dukes—that you normally wouldn’t allow yourself to be caught dead in—leaving most of your skin exposed, with no direct sunlight to warm it. Now that the sun was out, you were on fire out there.

“The artwork.” He glanced at the framed harpy drawing along the wall, the one you’d been staring at, one of many framed depictions of gruesome and mythical looking creatures. “I don’t blame you though, that one isn’t particularly my favorite. Pretty badass, though. Heh.” “Oh,” You shook your head, the oversized shades adorning your face sliding down the bridge of your nose, “No, I’m not afraid of it. I like it. It must have taken forever though.”

You turned your attention to her again, admiring how realistic her feathers appeared. Painstakingly detailed and whoever was walking around the city with her on their body surely endured a generous amount of pain to get her.

And a large hole in their wallet.

“It took a ton of sessions, for sure. My boy did it a couple years ago.” The man, Argyle, as he’d introduced himself when you’d first walked into the shop, flipped his long black hair over his shoulder before he flipped to the next page of your portfolio. He let out a sound of appreciation as he leaned his weight on his elbow, hand resting over his mouth.

“This is good! This is really good!”

You lifted your chin to peer at the drawing he was fascinated with. Ah.

It was a drawing of the skeletal Grim Reaper, cloaked in a black robe and scythe clutched in one hand while his boney middle fingers stretched his eye socket holes down in an obvious taunt. A tongue, black and tendril like, lulled out of his mouth.

You thought it was pretty good, too. The idea for it had struck you at a party, you’d been hiding from an annoying suitor and ducked into an office room, doodling to your heart's content once you grew past your boredom.

You grinned, a feeling of giddiness beginning to bubble inside you.

“Listen, the DM’s out right now, running some errands. He should be back soon, can I hold onto this?” Argyle asked, gripping the sides of the binder and raising it as if you didn’t already know he was referring to your portfolio, “I think he’ll be pretty impressed with your stuff.” You fidgeted with your fingers, giddiness giving away to nerves once more. “Really? You think so?” Hope was something you hadn’t felt in a while; you’d been through exactly fourteen tattoo shops throughout the city, most of which you’d been rebuffed from before they so much as flipped open your portfolio, having already decided your particular aesthetic didn’t fit their image. They hadn’t verbalized as much, but you knew. You glanced down at your pink boots, already such a stark contrast to the black beams beneath your feet.

It wouldn’t be a big deal if you hadn’t made a wager with yourself, you could only go home once you’d accomplished your task of getting one of the shop owners to actually look at your work. While Argyle had made it clear he wasn’t the head honcho, he’d be passing it along.

“Yeah, man! This is some pretty legit stuff! I’ve been tatting, myself, for a couple years now, and I’m good–don’t wanna flex or nothing but I’m really good. Only it took a couple of years for me to actually get this good, you know? And I’m not even talking about on skin. You haven’t tattooed anyone before, right?” You thought back to when you had mentioned your art skill to a brief...something, he’d been intoxicated enough on expensive wine and your sangria kisses to encourage you to use the tattoo kit one of your friends had re-gifted you after her interest in the subject waned. You’d never particularly imagined yourself etching into people’s skin before, not even when she’d given you the supplies because she’d seen some of your doodles.

Thanks to her, a suit and tie you no longer spoke to, who made more money than you’ll ever see, was walking around with a secret under his briefs: a pair of shiny cherries on his left ass cheek.

It was no loss to you. Sure, he made money. Just not nearly enough for you to tolerate how aggressive he’d been with his affections as soon as he was sloshed. You’d given him the tattoo with his drunk pals cheering him on, went out to a very high standard club, then promptly ditched him the moment you were out of his sight. You hadn’t answered the door when he came pounding on it the next morning and the morning after that.

You’d originally had no intentions of using the tattoo equipment, until that encounter. It had planted a seed, an idea that may get you out of what you had to do to survive. Tattooing hadn’t been a passion, and it still wasn’t quite one but you needed money and you had talent.

“No,” You lied with a shake of your head, “I haven’t.”

“That’ll change soon,” he laughed, closing your binder as he leaned further over the glass counter. Your gaze briefly flickered to the jewelry it housed.

“You got a number we can reach you at?”

You’d scrawled the number of your landline down on the back of one of their business cards before Argyle could rethink his decision to pass your work along.

“Hopefully, we’ll see you soon!” He called out as you retreated towards the door.

God, I hope so.

The thought of a somewhat stable job that could help the pitiful state of your checking and savings account was the only thing powering you through your long walk home. You couldn’t risk a cab, that would mean you’d have no fare money for tonight, and who knows if you’d have to make a speedy exit?

You’d learned. Eventually.

Forty-five minutes later, you entered your apartment, sagging back against the door as you dropped your back and kicked your shoes off, unconcerned as to where exactly they’d landed.

Sweat glistened over your skin, and unlike in that last tattoo shop, there was no cool air conditioning to cool you. You and Sid saved that for special occasions.

Instead, you opened the large window to the fire escape, obnoxious sounds of the city you called home filling the apartment.

It wasn’t much, but it was better. Next came the matter of your clothes, stuck in the most uncomfortable of ways to your flesh. Your tank top was peeled off and thrown over the couch, daisy dukes abandoned near the entryway of the small kitchen on your way to the bathroom.

A quick glance was spared behind you, taking in the state of your shared home. It was a mess and not even remotely surprising. The place was barely furnished with the essentials, all of which were secondhand: a couch, a coffee table with a sheet over it to hide the stains, one shelving unit, a rug and tapestries hung artfully on the walls for deception. They made the place look more put together than it was, but you’d love it even if it were still barren. A roof over your head in the city meant you didn’t have to return to the past you’d clawed your way out of..

The only thing worth much was the framed photo on the kitchen counter, and that was only in sentimental value. You and Sid, arms around each other’s shoulders as you sat in a booth at a shitty diner you’d tried upon first moving to the city. They’d taken your photo for being the 600th customer and tacked it to the wall.

You’d stolen it and had no regrets because you got to keep your memory and ended up getting food poisoning.

With a shrug, you entered the bathroom for a much needed scrub down and some disassociating. Your mess could wait.

─

Eddie was not in a great mood when he walked into the shop.

His jacket was clutched in a sweaty palm, rings twisting around the flesh of his fingers and his bangs were beginning to stick to his forehead, all the result of the walk from his fucking car to the shop door.

“Grumpy?” Argyle asked, amused with the clear annoyance on his face.

Eddie sneered, standing under the vent for a minute to cool down, “Triple digits. Triple fucking digits out there, man. You could shove a thermometer up the devil’s asshole and it’d be cooler than that.”

Once he’d solidified, he stalked past the front desk, threw his jacket onto the counter and picked up a stack of mail.

“Did I miss anything?” Eddie asked as he flipped through the envelopes, mostly junk.

“A couple of walk-ins. Nothing too major there, handled them myself. Simple stuff, one wanted a goldfish. Not like a detailed one, like how you’d try and draw a goldfish cracker. We did have a few who wanted a couple of advance pieces, got ‘em booked for consultations with Johnny boy and Rob.”

“Nice,” Eddie chuckled under his breath at the mental image of the goldfish tattoo, most likely an act of affection. Tattooing people who wanted to permanently carry reminders of their children was one of Eddie’s favorites to do, partially because of the sentiment but mostly because the drawings were amusing.

He’d just finished tossing out the junk mail when he reached for his jacket to hang it up properly and discovered it had been concealing something.

“What’s this?” Eddie asked as he lifted the slim red binder. Looked relatively new.

“Huh?” Argyle glanced up from the sketch he was working on, recognition flashing across his face, “Oh, yeah! We got a prospective new hire, someone dropped off their portfolio.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and heaved out a heavy sigh as his jacket was tossed aside yet again.He had nothing against other tattoo artists, but the last one he’d hired that hadn’t come from his friend group ended up nearly destroying the group.

Henry had been charming, good at his job and charismatic. Turns out, he’d also been a master manipulator and had a particularly abhorrent temper. Tensions had been high, heads were butting and fights had occurred–with a permanent reminder in the wall near the front entrance where a large hole had been punched through the wall. Henry had to go.

Eddie wasn’t looking to repeat the situation.

“I think we’re good on artists around here–and put a reminder on the calendar for me to patch that damn crater up.”

“Well, it’s a good thing the artist isn’t a tattoo artist. Yet. I’d look at that portfolio first before making any decisions, if I were you. I think you’re gonna see the beginnings of something goooooood, and dude, you’ll be killing our fun if you fix it. Do you know how many glory hole jokes we tell?” Eddie ignored the latter half of Argyle’s statement, reluctantly flipping the portfolio open to the first page and annoyance began to associate itself with him once more.

A body, in a state of decomposition greeted him. But it wasn’t maggots or rotting flesh involved. Flowers grew out of the crevices, with moss and mushrooms over her skin. A lot of fine line work.

The next page was home to a bird-like creature with the body of a lion, a Griffin. Done in American Traditional.

A skinny, demonic looking goat with horns and legs long enough to belong to a horse, clouded eyes and wyvern wings was on the page after that. The Jersey Devil. Someone knew their Cryptids.

The portfolio contained a vast amount of drawings from horror depictions to more aesthetically pleasing visions; the hydra, skeletons, dragons, goddesses, respectable attempts at the modern Renaissance pieces, and even a couple of Barbie references, ranging in a variety of tattoo styles.

Eddie closed the portfolio and drummed his fingertips across the countertop, scowling.

That long haired doofus was right. This was beyond good work. But if they weren’t a tattoo artist, there wasn’t much Eddie could do with them. Drawing on paper is a much more different experience than skin. Mistakes can be erased on paper, the sketch done over again. Can’t do the same on flesh.

It’s intimidating.

They’d have to start off slow, like he had. Trained under a watchful eye, an expert who’d guide them with experienced hands. He was sure Jonathan and Robin would be eager to have an apprentice.

But before Eddie would even begin to entertain the idea of an apprentice in his shop, he’d have to see exactly what it was he was working with.

“Leave a number?” He asked without looking at Argyle because he knew he’d see nothing but a smug expression.

“Yup.”

“See if you can get him back in the shop tomorrow.”

“Why not today?”

“Because I have a session for the rest of the day, remember?”

“Oh, yeah! I forgot.” Argyle’s grin was sheepish as he read off the calendar. “Stacy Peterson called. Car troubles. Unable to make it to appointment with Eddie. Rescheduled. Heh. So…you also missed that.”

“I’ll strangle you later, just get him in here then.”

Argyle opened his mouth, then closed it as an expression that said I know something you don’t crossed his strong features. “Righty-O, boss. I’ll give him a call.”

You’d been lounging in the bathtub, hair up and out of the way, eyeing the grooves of the shower tile. They were a permanent taunt, stained dark no matter how hard you and Sid scrubbed and you hated the sight of them.

People with money didn't have to stare at them, able to afford to have them professionally cleaned or the shower wall—the entire bathroom renovated.

Someday, that would be you.

You sunk further into the water, toeing at the faucet when the shrill sound of the landline filled your more than humble home. The thought of simply letting it ring played in your head until you remembered the tattoo shop you’d visited last.

Hastily rising from the tub, water was splashed along the floor while you did a terrible job of drying off and ran naked the rest of the way to the living room, almost slipping as you did.

The receiver was yanked off its post, “Hello?”

“What’s up, Dudette? Argyle calling, dunno if you remember me from earlier…”

“Yeah! From the tattoo shop, right?”

“Right-O! Listen, The Dungeon Master is in and he wants to see if you can get down here to show him what you got. Possible?”

“Yeah, it’ll be no problem!” You’d have to run most of the way but street traffic around this time wasn’t that bad so you wouldn’t have to fight your way through bodies.

“Cool, cool, cool. And between you and me, this is pretty much the interview process. Good luck, dudette, and may the force be with your tattie skills. I’ll see you when you get here!”

As soon as you’d hung up, you ran to your room to get dressed. You didn’t have much of a wardrobe, but it wasn’t high on your list of priorities considering you and Sid practically shared one. Another tank top was selected—to mitigate sweating on your way to your interview—along with a gifted pink thong and matching bra. You’d snagged your Daisy Dukes from the floor on your way out, shimmied them on, grabbed your small bag and keys and headed out.

The selection of attire was a good one, the heat was still stupidly unbearable and heavy. You’d need to wash off again tonight. You’d managed to make it to the shop in under twenty-five minutes, having ignored all the looks you’d received as you hurried along the streets and the feeling of the air conditioner on your skin was a welcome one when you made your way back into the shop.

Argyle greeted you with a bright grin from his place behind the counter, throwing up his hands, “You made it! One sec.”

Then he turned his upper body to call into an area you couldn’t quite see into, “Oh, Eddie boy! Your prospect has arrived.”

You hadn’t cared to entertain ideas on what your potential boss could look like, all you were concerned about was the position and getting your foot in the door. Even if you had tried to imagine him, nothing could have prepared you for the actual sight of him when he emerged.

He was big, tall and cloaked in black, despite the heat of the city. He wore what you figured had once been a black t-shirt but was now lacking sleeves and a proper neck hem to be considered a makeshift tank. His pants were shiny leather and also tight, hugging the muscles of his thighs, and he sported a dark pair of pointed boots.

He wasn’t particularly muscular enough to be the body builder type, but it looked like he could probably pick another grown man up with ease. His skin had a light tan to it, barely anything really, just like everyone else, he obviously couldn’t escape the sun. It was littered with intricate tattoos, weaving up his arms—a few you could tell disappeared under his shirt—and his neck.

The word freak was permanently etched in black ink along his temple and over his eyebrow. Two silver balls decorated his other eyebrow.

Leaning up against the back wall like that, arms crossed to make the muscles of his arms bulge slightly and oozing confidence, he looked like the personification of some really good sex.

But he wasn’t what you were seeking out and you didn’t like to mix business with pleasure.

Eddie was caught completely off guard, trying to school his shock and keep his composure.

When he’d seen that portfolio, he was expecting someone with jagged edges, piercings galore and more than just a couple of tattoos to be behind it and standing in the entryway of his shop.

Someone who looked like their art.

You…didn’t. With your little pink cowboy boots, tank top that accentuated your figure and shorts so small, they should’ve been considered a form of underwear, you didn’t look at all similar to what Eddie was expecting. Not even if he closed his eyes.

You didn’t waste time, quickly introducing yourself as you stepped up to the front desk and Eddie pulled himself from his stupor, closing the distance to shake your palm. Smaller than his (though most were) and slightly sweaty, no doubt due to that god forsaken heat outside.

Eddie could see bits of your hair sticking to your skin, little beads of sweat prickling over your exposed collarbone and trailing down, down between your─

“Thank you for taking the time to even look at my portfolio! I really appreciate it.”

Eddie blinked hard, clearing his throat before smirking to pretend he hadn’t been drawn in by your chest.

What the fuck was wrong with him all of a sudden?

He’d had plenty of beautiful clients, he’d tattooed nice asses, tits, pubic regions, thighs, all the beautiful areas. Now all of a sudden he was acting like he’d never seen a pair of tits before.

Hell, Eddie had been thoroughly busy with a pair, held them in his hands before he came into the shop.

Professionalism, he reminded himself.

“Not a problem, what I see—saw was pretty impressive,” Nice save, Eddie, you dick. He cursed himself, “You adapt well to different styles.”

“Thanks!” You chirped, excitement filling you at the praise. It was so nice to hear positive feedback about your work instead of being sent out of a shop before they so much as opened your binder. “I like to experiment with different styles, see what it is that people like so much about them and honestly, it’s mostly because I haven’t quite found my art style just yet.”

Hence your range, you were constantly expanding with your art because you hadn’t found one style you wanted to make yours yet. Or maybe you had and just didn’t know it yet. Whatever.

Eddie and Argyle exchanged a look before he stepped back and nodded in the direction he came, “Why don’t you follow me? Show me what you can do?”

You didn’t hesitate, stepping past the front desk.

There was more artwork lining the short hall he took you down until you arrived at another room, obviously one meant for actual tattooing as there was a tattoo chair in the middle of the room.

On one of the counters, was an area already prepped for you. A tattoo gun, some ink, and some obviously fake skin that rested on top of a disposable sheet cloth, along with some gloves.

“Argyle tells me you haven’t worked on skin before.”

Sure you haven’t.

“Not a whole lot of people lining up to get tattooed by someone with no experience,” you shrugged, following him over to the counter he was leaning up against.

“You’re hanging around the wrong crowd then.” He joked and you let out a small laugh.

He had no idea how right he was.

“The first tattoos I ever got were from inexperienced people. This one,” he gestured to a Wyvern on the back of his arm, “I got my junior year of high school from a waitress at a bar I always snuck into.”

“And this one,” he yanked the tattered collar of his shirt down to expose more ink, but the one he was referring to was a spider, “I got my first senior year from someone I did…business with.”

First senior year? Eddie was proving to be an interesting character.

“But enough about me,” Eddie released his shirt, allowing it to hide the artwork depicted on his chest, “let’s get down to business.”

Before he could even explain what everything was, you dropped your purse onto the counter nearby, pulling a small box of unopened gloves from it.

“You mind?” You asked, fingers poised to rip it open.

“Go for it,” He shrugged. Gloves were gloves, so long as they were uncontaminated he didn’t mind.

You tore into them and Eddie was still somehow surprised to see they were pink. Clearly his black ones weren’t your style.

“Can I ask you a question?” You asked as you pulled the gloves on. Eddie watched you, intrigued as you finished assembling the tattoo gun without his help and opened the ink pack.

“Sure,” He mused, eyeing you skeptically. Hadn’t tattooed anyone but you were clearly familiar with it. Interesting.

“Did your tattoos hurt?”

Eddie waited until after you’d started the tattoo gun and got into working on the fake flesh. Apparently you already had an idea in mind.

“A bit of an amateur question, you don’t have one?”

“Nope.” You confirmed, paying him no mind as you leaned forward, gaze focused solely on your task, “I kind of want one but I’m not in any particular rush, you know?”

Eddie made a sound of agreement, at a brief loss of words as you arched your back, ass sticking out and he became painfully aware you were wearing a hot pink thong, the tails of it peaking out past the top of your denim shorts. He should’ve offered you a seat but you didn’t seem all that bothered with standing.

No, that was apparently his foil, because he was incredibly bothered by you standing, especially with your ass out like that; when it made his pants tighten considerably in his crotch region.

He was getting hard.

Eddie was mortified, stiffening (go figure) as he attempted to calm himself, eyes darting away from your ass to stare at one of the cabinets. Of course this had to happen to him on the day he chose to wear a pair of pants that left little to the imagination should the boy downstairs start acting up.

Don’t look. Don’t look. Don’t look.

“Hurts, depending on the area, which I’m sure you already know. The tattoos on my back and my thighs hurt pretty bad. Forearms were a bitch, but nothing I couldn’t handle. The ones on my wrists and hands were the worst, pain wise, in my opinion. Obviously it didn't stop me, but those tend to be areas with a lot of bones, veins and very little muscle, so it’s expected.”

You hummed in response and his gaze briefly flittered over to you before his cock pulsed and he tore it away again, grateful your attention wasn’t on him.

The remainder of the ‘session’ was spent in relative silence with the music playing through the speakers installed throughout the shop, keeping it from being awkward. Eddie had just managed to will his erection away when you finished, setting down the gun before you pulled your gloves off.

“What do you think?” You asked, still admiring your work and Eddie peered around you to assess it.

A wyvern, similar to the one on his arm but done in a fine line style.

He chuckled, amused with your reference and you fought valiantly with yourself not to grin. You were trying to impress him, sticking with a subject he liked enough to make it a part of him permanently, but you hadn’t imitated the style of it to keep from downright copying and to showcase your ability to adapt.

“That’s pretty good,” And it was, not a whole lot of people could get lines that perfect or seem as confident in their abilities on their first try. Still, Eddie could tell you’d have some ways to go before you were ready to be on your own, “but you can do better.”

You tried not to frown, “Oh.”

Eddie smirked and you finally turned to face him, apprehension on your face.

“Don’t look so down. After some time around here, watching us work, you’ll be ready. The apprenticeship will fly by in no time.”

“Wait—you mean—you want me?!”

“I’d be stupid not to.”

You let out a squeal and threw yourself at him, giving him a quick squeeze before your brain caught up to your body and you pulled away.

“Sorry, sorry! I’m just so excited.”

Eddie cleared his throat, shifting his body away from you and rasped out, “Argyle will have the paperwork for you to fill out.”

“Got it,” You grabbed your bag and was just about to head out of the room when Eddie called your name, “Huh?”

“Be back at the same time tomorrow. You’ll be practicing on real skin.”

“But I thought you said—”

“Me.”

Something in you bubbled with excitement and nerves.

You nodded once and then left the room to see Argyle for your paperwork.

“So?????” Argyle asked once you’d approached him, a sullen look on your face.

You couldn’t keep the act up, beaming as you practically bounced, “I’ll be seeing you around more often now!”

He whooped, extending an arm out for a high-five which you reciprocated.

“You are gonna love it here, Dudette. Just wait until you meet everyone! First, we gotta start on your employment.”

Your brows furrowed as you watched him go through a filing cabinet.

“Wait—this is paid?”

“Yeah! We’re not big on slave labor here.”

Score for you! You had a feeling you wouldn’t be clocking a ton of hours but every single penny counted, especially considering how hard of a time you had actually building a savings account.

Argyle had walked you through the paperwork, where to sign, what things meant and since the shop was getting ready to close up you’d simply just bring the completed paperwork back with you tomorrow.

The door chimed behind you and you turned to see who could be coming in at the last minute, eyes widening at the voluptuous woman before you. Her hair was long and jet black, skin pale (apparently one person in this city was capable of defying the sun) and make-up done so elegantly it reminded you of actresses from the silver screen era. Her dress was simple, black and hugged her curves exceptionally well. You could tell it was worth more than everything in your apartment combined and you’d feel bad about it if you also couldn’t tell she was older than you.

You’d have time to get there.

“Hey, Deidre.”

“Hello, Argyle.” She gave the both of you a dazzling smile as she removed her sunglasses and walked right past Argyle, down the hall you’d come from.

He didn’t even look surprised and paid her no real attention.

“We’ll see you soon?”

“Damn straight.”

Argyle let out another cheer as you walked out the door with high spirits. Not even the nasty, hot air could get you down.

You’d climbed up the stone steps until you reached the sidewalk and glanced behind you at the neon sign depicting the name of the tattoo shop you’d now be working at.

“Welcome to The Dungeon,” You mumbled to yourself with a smile.

You turned back to the sidewalk, staring down at the pathway you’d have to take before you thought better of it, sticking your fingers into your mouth to give a sharp whistle.

It caught the attention of a cab driver down the street, and you gave him your address when he’d pulled up and you’d hopped in, ready to prepare for tonight's plans. You deserved a little break, after all, you were one step closer to securing the future of your dreams.

Eddie sagged against the counter once you’d left the room, scowling down at the bulge that had reappeared in his pants when you’d hugged him.

Why his body was suddenly acting like he was a horny teenager again, he had no idea.

He wasn’t about to do anything about it, though. Not when you’d be hanging around the shop for the foreseeable future. Eddie didn’t get involved with his employees. He’d worked in a couple of shops where he’d witnessed that occur and it always ended in a mess. Not a good kind.

He busied himself with cleaning up, tossing away the supplies you’d used and storing your first piece of work. It’d be nice for you to look back at once your apprenticeship was over. When Eddie had nothing else to clean, he sighed and rubbed at his eyelids.

Platonic. Professional. God, if he couldn’t keep his dick in check, he’d be in a world of trouble. You’d be trouble.

“Need a hand?”

Eddie snapped around, relieved to see it was just Deidre. Explaining why he had a boner to anyone else wasn’t something he was keen on doing. In fact, he probably wouldn’t be telling her exactly why, either.

Taking her up on her offer, however, was something he would eagerly do.

“Are you offering yours?”

She laughed, setting her purse down on the counter where your bag had been just a few minutes ago, and walked right up to Eddie, her body pressed against his and grinding onto him as the older woman slid her arms around his shoulders.

“Mmm, not just my hand.”

All Eddie knew next was the taste of her red lipstick.

#tattoo artist!eddie munson x apprentice!reader #tattoo artist!eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #older!eddie munson #he's older than me so im counting it #eddie munson x reader angst #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #bimbo!reader #eddie munson x bimbo!reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x black!reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #Between the Lines

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buggybugkilo · 1 year

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anyway now that it’s seven in the morning and i REALLY need to be asleep i’m gonna do a funky funky introduction for an oc i’ve had for about the same amount of time ive been fixating on twst

except he’s just as developed as all my other ocs

(i will actually do a full effort drawing for him..hopefully)

edit: replacing the image ahdhd

anyway so shoshi (name may be changed-im iffy on the name ngl) is based off of shock (nightmare before christmas) i have the other two from the trio and oogie (neon haired guy i’ve drawn a few times) too just need to make a proper intro for them

anyway then his cat familiar z-whos based off of zero

so shoshi is technically supposed to be like white pale but i don’t like it as much so he’s just a normal amount of pale

backstory stuff is a wip but the very base of it is:

shoshi comes from and kind of is (?) a ✨grim reaper family✨ living in halloween town (in which most ghosts will avoid him naturally..dude is almost completely oblivious to that fact)

his childhood wasn’t too bad-growing up he was a rule follower, had good grades, had a few friends-overall good kid so not much happening

the only bad thing being he has a goofy (/j) homophobic and transphobic father who was like hella transphobic

shoshi is trans and slightly fruity-so you can imagine how that went-basically being the bright happy child to being almost cut off from his father-eventually shoshi gave up on trying to get accepted by his father and instead said it was a phase and moved on-this being the main reason he grows his hair out

(when asked about going to nrc he just said he heard it was a good school and tricked them into thinking he was a dude)

anyway back to the being a grim reaper-z was a street cat that shoshi had befriended as a small child basically growing up with z- this cat was also supposed to be the first soul he would help guide-shoshi just didn’t (in a more dramatic way but that’s for me to write when i’m not still figuring everything out) and instead made z his familiar-z is linked to shoshis feelings and it’s rare to see the two having different reactions (so z would have to have a very strong emotion for it to show) which is kind of morbid now that i think about it but i swear it’s more of a in sync kind of thing 😭

the two others from the trick or treater trio are childhood friends

in general things

shoshi has very sensitive skin to the point where when going outside he has to use a sun umbrella (hence the being pale) which wasn’t much of a problem with halloween town being very cloudy and dark but now in nrc is quite off putting with the quiet and mildly reserved nature along with the sun umbrella

he often takes the role of being responsible for his other friends often scolding them for reckless behavior

shoshi is most definitely a cat dad kind of dude

he and z will give someone the most judgy look if they do something stupid

..and then cover for their ass five seconds later

definitely into darker fashion styles (so like alt or whatever wearing a bunch of dark colored celestial clothing is)

probably has trust issues ajsjdjdj

his dorm is a funky funky oogie boogie one i have yet to fully make (is vice president of it)

anyway now that it is a whole ass hour later i’m gonna go sleep

#kilos twst ocs #twst oc #original character #twst shoshi #art #oc rambling #twisted wonderland #kilo needs sleep #twst z #kilos ocs #i’m tempted to do a x reader with a few of my chars #it’d be kinda funny #so if anyone wants to see that i am all ears to hear #i may delete those tags when i wake up #oc intro

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mischievousmeh · 1 year

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warning: the following contains spoilers for pokémon scarlet/violet

wheeeew! okay, so after a good rest, i’m able to talk about what went on with the titan from yesterday!

this big guy is the lurking steel titan, orthworm! i’m sure plenty of you have seen a normal sized orthworm, but this was my first encounter with this pokémon! as absolutely astounding as it was in size, it was sort of cute! orthworm was not the fighting sort - when he saw aether and i, he hurried to burrow under the ground. with our legs still aching, we opted to chase him down on miraidon! orthworm would peek his head out occasionally, and we essentially were playing a large scale version of whack-a-diglet. this would’ve been fun if we weren’t so tired, i think. after we ended up cornering the behemoth, we sent out reaper and blank, who defeated it easily! after that, it tunneled through solid stone… and the chase began again.

after we chased it down again, it opened a passage - another cave, just like the one the titan klawf had. and orthworm reaches inside and pulls out one of the herba mystica! a fight would be rough on us and our pokémon, especially from our lack of rest, but luckily, arven appears to help out! he’s brought a toedscool with him this time, who i still don’t know the name of.

reaper was noticeably worn out, so i gave him a rest and switched him out with gwaine instead! between our three pokémon, this giant worm was no match for us, and actually was defeated pretty easily, despite the herba mystica that it ate! when it was tired of fighting, it quickly burrowed underground to retreat. we took that as our chance, with arven’s direction, to take the herb before it came back. so, into the cave we went.

according to arven, this is the salty herba mystica! it has amazing properties that help promote healing, just like the sweet variety, though i can’t remember exactly what he’d listed off, as i was very, very tired. he made some more of those awesome sandwiches for us! once again, miraidon intended to beg for our sandwiches. arven actually had made an extra one just for miraidon this time, even though he swears it wasn’t for the dragon at all! i don’t think aether or i believe him, haha.

great sandwiches again! he’s definitely some sort of sandwich chef, right? a normal person couldn’t do the magic he does! he also gave us this neat badge, which i think is pretty cool considering he makes the badges himself! miraidon also loves his sandwiches, which is both a blessing and a curse. actually, despite getting its own sandwich… miraidon actually was going to take a bite from arven’s, and he snapped at it.

his shouting was very startling! i remember almost jumping up from my seat. even miraidon scurried away, which must’ve made him feel bad, because he apologized right after. apparently, he’s been hiding something from us… and he’s decided to come clean. arven introduced us to the reason he’s hunting the herba mystica: his partner pokémon, mabosstif.

the poor thing is terribly sick. no potion or pokémon center can heal him, and arven’s only option has fallen to a myth he read about in his father’s books. apparently, if a pokémon eats from all five of the herba mystica, any ailment they have will be healed. i feel like i understand him a lot more now. he said the only thing he really cares about is his mabosstif, which brings up a few questions, like how he feels about professor turo or his other pokémon, or even any of his friends… but that aside, i think i really, genuinely understand that sentiment. my partner pokémon… my boyfriend… i would do anything for them.

the magic of the herba mystica works, too. according to arven, mabosstiff hasn’t been able to open its eyes or move for the longest time, and his paws have been cold in his paralysis. with the sandwich that arven gave him, he actually began to warm up a bit, and his eyes opened! arven is a pretty expressionate guy, and though we aren’t very close, he seems unreserved and genuine in how he feels. so, when he started jumping in celebration, followed by genuine sobbing in his joy… i knew that was real, and that was really who he is.

with the promise to continue on our search for the remaining herba mystica, we parted ways with arven for the time being. miraidon grew stronger from the sandwich it ate, now able to jump much higher than before. and we received a call from professor turo confirming as much, once again showing how much he cares for miraidon and trusts we can care for it.

and… that’s a wrap! time to go and rest up for a couple of days! not really, but i really feel like we should, haha!

#personal #pokemon sv spoilers #pokemon scarlet/violet spoilers #pokemon scavio spoilers #paldea adventure saga #WOOOAH WE HAVE. HELLA UPDATES COMING ACTUAAALLY #THIS IS WAY BEHIND RIP #WE’VE BEAT TWO GYMS AND I’VE GOTTEN THREE RANDO SHINIES FULL ODDS #AAAA

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star-mum · 9 months

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Criminal Minds 3x10 - Live Star Reaction

I have not seen Malcom in the Middle ;-; so I would like to know the relation to this ep (idk if it’s a cameo or references but still)

Also even before i hit play, I’m assuming by the title theres gonna be a black out of some kinda

“No one sees true night, what’s really there in the dark” Oh shit maybe not, then

Okay I am really scared of the dark, I hope this episode doesn’t fuck me up

A NOIR DETECTIVE THEME ???? FUCK IT UP SKSKKS

IS THIS MALCOLM ??? THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE ?? It wasn’t really a close up but I think do recognize the guy sksksksks (I’ll check the cast)

OKAY ALRIGHT, SO— (this sentence was intercepted by Derek and Pen being cuties)

OH MY GO AND NOW DEREK IS OPENING DOORS AND STAYING BEHIND TO WATCH OVER HER ????

“Will you stop with the ‘uh’?” LSKSLS NOW KISS

IT IS THE GUY FROM MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE

OKAY SO THIS DUDE IS AN AUTHOR AND HE WROTE A FANTASY VERSION OF THOSE KILLINGS

either he’s testing the actions out for his comic book OR he’s “dreaming” of the things he’s doing without being truly aware of it

Im gonna assume the pretty flashback gf is dead (that could be the stressor) or shES WAS NEVER REAL AHAHAH (I’m joking, mostly)

If she did die, the way his agent is acting is weird (why wouldn’t he be a mess? Why wouldn’t his art be darker/more violent?)

“They hate me at Hero World” yeah I wonder WHY MILLO

Okay Vicky is a real person, she could’ve just dumped him

This is already so fucking interesting (and I can’t tell I’m not gonna be able to figure out what’s happening to our boy Malcolm before the brainiacs do)

“Did you know that a domestic cat loose on a normal neighborhood is the equivalent of a small scale ecological disaster?” “...excuse me?” YEAH UH WHAT? REID PLEASE ELABORATE

Derek if you cut him off to focus back on the case i SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS

OOOOOHH ALRIGHT THAT MAKES SENSE

Oops ran right into Rossi, kids gonna get got very soon

All things considered he pretty much just walked off getting hit by a car

“Who?” “Vicky!” “...Johnny...” ooooh Vicky dead, oh Vicky real dead

PREGNANT ????? Ooooohh boooyyyy, that’d be a stressor alright

Do you think (you who has already seen this ep) she was murdered? That’s why this new character is a “vigilante” type thing, why he “sees” people as monsters during the night

There’s also the extreme reaction to all those camera flashes, which would probably be awful to anyone with that many people on your face, BUT it could also be a ptsd response

I was in the middle of typing that (and I was gonna say he could’ve been with her, he feels he “failed to protect her” since he made and she didn’t) BUT the next scene pretty much showed us exactly that so :/ I was robbed of my huge brain today

He keeps having visual and auditory hallucinations and he “forgot” she died, idk exactly what this could be (if I had to point a specific disorder) a lot of things can have those symptoms

I mean ptsd is the most obvious one but that alone wouldn’t make someone kill people

“Street name was Reaper, guess why” he had a sick ass skull tattoo? 🤔

Okay so he IS targeting criminals, which would require a level of research, i mean if I was a high up gang leader I wouldn’t broadcast my home address you know?

Also,,, where the fuck is the murder weapon ???

“You have a fiance?” Oh boy 👀

OKAY OKAY OKAY WAIT WAIT WAIT

WHAT IF, HEAR ME OUT !

what if Vicky did exist BUT they never had a relationship? Maybe he’d seen her around and fantasized this entire relationship with her and HE IS THE ONE WHO KILLED HER ???

His brain could’ve registered enough of what happened for him to seek out to her and know she’s hurt but not enough where he knows he’s the one who hurt her

These little snippets of her voice we keep hearing could’ve been her talking to him directly, screaming at him to stop

I was about to ask “where’s Emily?” hi baby ! She’s laying low for an episode that’s okay LSKSKS one line this far

Is the agent gonna hand in the drawings? Yep guess he did, good job honey

Derek talked to him so softly 🥺

“Did you find the murder weapon?” “Didn’t need to” I WANT TO KNOW

“We believe you took Mr Hill with you when you left?” TOOK HIM WHERE ???

“You’re not gonna wanna miss this” Well would you look at that, our first “good for him” episode (I’d say we let him walk 👀)

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD EPISODE !!! Also by focusing on the unsub more than the investigation, they really made us feel like an outsider to the team

Like when we get to the station, they have a whole profile ready and we’re just thrown in there as confused as Johnny is, which is normally the opposite of what happens

The only other ep that comes to mind that we see none of the investigation play out in real time is the first one with Frank, cause Gideon is telling us what happened

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venomous--fics · 3 years

Text

Anon asked: maybe a continuation of the peter b parker kid thing where they finally confront the mom and get the readers things back 😩💞💞

a/n: ask and thou shall receive! this spent so long in the drafts bc i felt so insecure about it tbh, so any feedback is appreciated! I love seeing messages about what you guys think! really keeps me motivated! also, requests are open

Warnings: mentions of past abuse

Peter was sitting at the kitchen table, constantly looking at the clock. It was almost 5pm, you were supposed to be home an hour and a half ago. Yes, he keeps track of everyone's schedules, yes he knows the exact second you should be walking through the door. He's already texted you, but maybe you had detention. Nah, you were a good student, he highly doubted you'd have to stay after school.

His phone finally rang, and he was way too quick answering it.

"You okay?"

"I need some help."

"What is it?" he was already out the door.

You sighed, knowing he was probably going to give you an earful later.

"Well, it's a really long story, right.. But my mom showed up after school-"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I think. Anyways, we got into it on the way home, which is no- Not normal." you adjusted how you were sitting, "And since she was dragging me back to the house, I figured I'd just get my crap and come home, right? Makes sense, saves us the tri-"

"She took you without permission?"

"Technically she is my m-...Parent. I guess, y'know, legally she can do whatever- But..Okay." you began to feel bubbles of anxiety and pain and even resentment form deep in your core, "She locked me out." You rubbed your neck.

"Are you," he paused, looking around at all the faces passing by him, "Still there?"

"Yeah. Unfortunately. I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for? Don't apologize, you didn't do anything."

"I keep causing problems for everyone."

"Not for me. Or Mj."

It was quiet on your end.

"You still there?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be there in like ten minutes."

"You probably shouldn't."

"Nah, nah." He said, having a sudden wave of anger rush over him, "Let me take care of this."

And true to his word, Peter was there in ten minutes. You hopped up from your spot on the porch as he made his way up to the door and knocked on it as hard as he could. He gave you a reassuring pat on the back.

The door swung open, and your mother seemed awfully surprised and confused to see some random man just standing there. Peter held no emotion has he looked her dead in the eye, "Can we come in."

She opened the door wider so that way you two could step in.

"Go get your stuff." is all Peter said to you.

Wasting no time, and not wanting to be in the middle of a potential argument between the two, you skedaddled to your room. It almost felt like too much to be in there. It looked so empty and barren compared to your room at Peter and Mjs place. Seems really dull. Lifeless, almost. Dust covered every surface, which meant that nobody had ever even bothered to see if you were even still in there.

You heard their voices from the living room, but they seemed so distant, seeing as all you could focus on was every shitty thing that woman put you through.

You remember the day that you got bit. It made you deathly ill, and you just thought you were dying from some sort of allergic reaction to the spider bite. You tried to get her to take you to any doctor or anywhere that could help because all you could seem to see were stars.

Everything then was so loud. Everything was so bright. It was all too much, and you were certain that the reaper was waiting for you. What did she say?

"Suck it up and stop pretending. Everything has to be so dramatic with you."

Or that time you forgot a single item on the shopping list. You got this whole speech about how stupid you had to have been. To forget one item. It was the world's most useless item.

Everything else seemed to play all over again, all at once. Like a waterfall. It should've made you sad. It should've made you cry, or scream.

You recounted all the times you wanted to fight back, or just run away. Leave everything behind and just run until your legs gave out. But you never did. You always found some reason to linger.

The conversation was growing louder where Peter was.

"You aren't going to do this to them ever again. Sign the papers."

You nearly dropped your last belonging on the floor as you scrambled to your door. Papers? He wasn't serious. Well, obviously he was. He just said it.

"Fine. It's not like the-"

"Zip it. Sign the papers."

"Who are you anyways? The law? If so, whatever they've told you is a b-"

"Listen, lady. I didn't ask for any attitude. I told you to sign the papers." he seemed to huff in annoyance, "That doesn't require talking."

"I'm a good mother."

"And I'm the king of France."

"Really. I gave them a good home. I have fed them and kept them warm-"

"Really? You think you did all that? Or are you convincing yourself that you did all that?"

"I am-"

"Can I be honest with you?"

"Ye-"

"I've never said this about anyone, ever. I don't like speaking to or about anyone like this.. Ever, but, you? I think you're a piece of shit."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, look. You finished signing the papers. I'll take those. Thank you."

Realizing that it was your time to go, you stuffed your blanket into your duffel bag and rushed out the door and down the hall. Peter looked at you, expecting to see at least three bags. But he only saw the one.

"Where's the rest of your stuff."

"Uhm," you shuffled around, pretending as thought you dropped some, "This...This is all my stuff."

"That can't be ri-" He laughed a little, and noting the expression on his face, you saw that he was NOT happy. "That? That single duffle bag is all you have? That's it?"

"Yes..." you took a step back, "This is all.."

"I can't believe it." he said, "You're joking! One bag worth of stuff?"

He turned his attention back to your mother, who, for the first time in your life, actually looked like she got caught red handed, "You're pathetic. Absolutely pathetic."

"But they're so u-"

"No! No, you don't get to talk anymore. You've done enough."

You awkwardly shuffled behind him, in the event that you two had to make a mad dash out the door. That and you needed to not be seen as you tried to hide your almost evil grin.

"The hell is wrong with you? You have this amazing kid, and THAT'S all you've ever gotten for them? And you sit there and call yourself a mother? Absolutely, without a doubt, bullshit. I'd be ashamed of myself to call myself a father if that's all I've provided for my kid. Don't even get me started on you as a person, we made that clear."

It almost felt cursed to hear him swear, seeing as he made it a point to tell you to not swear. Every time you did, you have to give a quarter to the swear jar. Mj was always on your side, though. She'd say a swear that was much worse and have to pay a dollar. Each word had a value.

"Maybe we should just go." you suggested, tugging on the sleeve of his arm, "She's not worth it anymore."

"She was never worth it, it seems."

You finally made eye contact with her, and the look in her eye. It's like she understood, but was choosing to not do anything about the situation. She could look sorry all she wanted, but you knew she wasn't.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. You know that right."

"That means nothing to me."

"I can change."

"If you can change now, that means you could've changed then. You just chose not to."

"But I'm your mother, you should realize how I feel. You should want-"

"You're not my mom. You stopped being my mom the first time you-" You turned towards the door and started walking towards it, "Whatever. You mean nothing to me."

You practically kicked open teh door just to leave, and Peter was right behind you, shouting about how he'd make sure to egg her house everyday, just to piss her off.

"Do you really think I'm amazing?" you asked, the walk home feeling rather quiet.

"I think you're more than that. Just can't put it into words."

"Did you really mean it...That we could egg her house?"

"You want to? There's a store right on the way home."

"How about tomorrow."

"I'll have to clear up my busy schedule. See if I can work in a drive by egging. Well, swing by egging."

"You promise?"

"You kidding? I haven't egged anyone's house since college."

You had so much more you wanted to get off you chest, but you opted to just talk about it at home, with everyone present. You wanted to talk about how you felt about everything, and the papers. Whatever those were. But you were, for the moment, busy laughing about Peter's story about how he used to Egg this one reporters house. Someone named Jonah.

You wonder if Jonah ever put two and two together.

#marvel imagine #marvel x reader #into the spider verse x reader #into the spiderverse imagine #peter b parker imagine #peter b parker x reader #peter parker imagine #spiderman imagine #spiderman x reader

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vanillann · 3 years

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unsolved (spencer reid x reader)

a/n: i was watching buzzfeed unsolved when i came up with this idea so enjoy. also i know it’s not exactly right but i didn’t feel like going back and watching the ep so.

warning: swearing, talk of cases, and sexual innuendos

word count: 3.3k

“Hi, Welcome to Buzzfeed Unsolved! We’re your host Ryan and Shane.”

I sat in a spin by chair between the two, my legs crisscrossed as I spun as fast as I could with Shane picking at arm.

“This is (Y/N)-“ when I heard my name I dramatically grabbed Ryan’s arm chair, smiling at the camera “a good friend of ours.”

“I had never spoken to either of them before today,” I spoke directly into the camera, the widest smile on my face when Shane gasped.

“She exposed us!” He pointed an accusing finger at me, Ryan slowly reaching out and grabbing his hand.

“We need her for this case,” Ryan spoke mysteriously, as if he was in a mob of some sort.

“Yeah why is that?” I rested my elbow on the chair, placing my chin in my open hand as I looked between the two.

I would normally be shoved in the corner of my desk trying to avoid another weird product video. I didn’t want to wear another weight blanket that made me almost fall to the floor.

“We are doing a case today and from the gossip around the office, you’d be pretty familiar with it,” Ryan said nothing more as he held a picture up to the camera.

I looked to the viewfinder, my eyes going wide as I recognized the mugshot immediately.

“That’s the Reaper!” I pointed at the picture, grabbing Ryan’s wrist so I could get a better look.

“Is that your boyfriend or something?” Shane added, looking over my shoulder at the picture in my hand.

“No, the BAU worked in this case!”

I didn’t know my intense knowledge of BAU cases would make it around the office, but I suppose when you have a printed article of you standing with Agent Gideon and Hotchner word moves fast.

“You actually know a lot about BAU cases from what I hear,” Ryan almost smirked at me and I was close to attacking him.

“Yeah-“ I turned to the camera, thinking I should explain myself before people thought I was crazy “so when I was young my mother had a stalker.”

The room suddenly went from light and breezy to scary and stuffy, something I hated.

“Anyways, when my mother died he disappeared into thin air. I then got an internship here at Buzzfeed and suddenly I was being mailed pictures of myself.”

I felt Shane give a knee a quick squeeze, which made me smile but I said nothing about it.

“It is really bad, I’m not going into detail, that the FBI got involved. Gideon was my savior that day, Hotchner too. Since then I’ve kept up with their cases and Gideon still sends me letters even after he left,” I finished my story, smiling down at the case file Ryan held between his fingers.

“Enough sad story, let’s talk about murder!” I clapped my hand, Shane laughing at my excitement.

“Okay, before we get started with this video I would like to clarify this isn’t a normal unsolved case. While the case was pinned to a murderer, the real unsolved piece is what happened to him,” Ryan got into character, slowly opening the folder and reading off the first words.

“On June 5th, 1996, Tom Shaunessy was called to investigate a murder in Boston. It was a couple, laided into their chair with multiple gun shots to their head and torso-“

“Wait, in the car in Boston?” Shane asked.

“That’s what I just read,” Ryan replied.

I smiled to myself, already knowing the editing that would take place with the black screen and the blue and yellow words floating across.

“Isn't Boston super busy?”

“It has like 700 thousand people,” I spoke up, wondering what color my words would be in.

“How do you just know that?” Ryan looked over his shoulder at me, his eyebrows raised.

“If you saw the article I was currently writing you would understand,” I shrugged, moving in the chair so I could get a better look at the case file.

Ryan coughed, looking back down at the file to continue.

“When another set of murders came in, this time an older couple, Shaunessy, panicked as he found the first victim, Harry Goodwill, watching at the scene.”

“That was his signature,” I held a hand up like a child in class, smiling as I already knew what came next.

“Bingo!” Ryan pointed to me, smiling at my excitement.

“When this happened again, this time alone woman, Shaunessy called in the BAU-“

“You mean the love of (Y/N) life,” Shane cut in, smiling when I hit his shoulder.

“If you saw a picture of them you’d be in love too,” I shrugged, not thinking much about my words.

“Agent Aaron Hotchner joined the team and worked closely on this case with Shaunessy.”

“So this man just texted the FBI,” Shane started laughing before he could get his words out.

“I’m pretty sure there are rules,” Ryan looked over at Shane, looking at me when we tried to understand why he was laughing.

“I’m sorry, death shouldn’t be this funny,” Shane took a breath, making a hand motion for Ryan to continue. I started laughing at that, keeping it low so Ryan could continue.

“After 18 murders, there were no leads. The only consistent thing was he mostly killed couples and he left an item from his last victim at the crime scene. The BAU conducted that he was most likely killing the couple because of his own failed marriage or possibly one close to him.”

“So he started killing because he hated to love? I bet he hates Valentine’s Day,” Shane shrugged, his smile breaking across his face when I spoke up.

“Nah, he seems more like a Halloween type guy,” I shrugged, laughing when Ryan hit his elbow on the table.

“Okay okay, back to the good stuff,” I pointed at the file, laughing when Ryan rolled his eyes.

“Now victims 19 and 20 is where the story starts to twist. Amanda Bertram and George Foyet-“ I shivered at the name “we attacked by the Reaper.”

“Did you say attacked?”

“Yes, while Amanda Bertram was killed in the struggle Foyet manages to survive with serious injuries.”

“So this dude just accidentally forgets to kill him?” Shane almost yelled, reaching for the file to read himself but Ryan moved it back.

“He saw the ghost of Valentine and just ran,” I played on the joke earlier, which made the two laugh.

“The heart-shaped boxes of chocolate really made him shit himself,” Ryan barely got the words out, his laugh slowly turning into a cough.

“We shouldn’t joke about a murderer when we don’t know his whereabouts,” I laughed along.

“Wait, you’re telling me they lost him!”

“Yep,” I popped the “p”, smiling when Shane looked to Ryan who only shrugged,

“You’ll have to wait and see.” Was all he said before he continued the case.

“After this no new leads were found, it was later discovered that The Boston Reaper sent Shaunessy a note that if the investigation was shut now he would stop killing,” Ryan read the words off.

“I bet he ended the letter with “xoxo from your worst nightmare” with a lipstick stain,” I spoke without thinking, covering my mouth when I realized what I said.

“Oh he’d definitely come at you now,” Shane pointed at me, wiggling his eyebrows in the process.

“No way! The BAU will save me,” I shrugged, smiling as I imagined the team busting in the door at the last minute like they always did.

“Oh yeah the one dude, what’s his name,” Ryan started snapping his fingers as he thought over his words “Sp-“

“Spencer Reid!” I practically yelled the name, my smile only growing large at the mention of the handsome Doctor from the BAU team. While he didn’t work my case, I heard a little about him and he called my house phone trying to reach Hotch.

To say I was infatuated would be a small understatement.

“Him?” Ryan pointed at him, smiling wider at me.

“Who is this Reid boy and what are his intentions?” Shane folded his arms on the table like a father, looking between Ryan and I.

“I hope it's dirty,” I blurted out, covering my mouth again as I looked at the camera.

“Cut that out,” I started laughing when I heard Shane wheezing beside me.

“No we’re keeping that, that was quality content,” Ryan was laughing, pushing my chair slightly as I slowly joined in.

“I’m so grateful he works a busy job and will never see this,” I started coughing, which made Shane pat my back.

“Please take the obsession back to murder, please and thank you,” I nodded to the case file once everyone has calmed down.

“Okay okay, the cast went cold after that. No new murders ever appeared and the BAU left the case.”

“Spencer went to (Y/N)’s house,” Shane commented quickly.

“Until 2009 when a murder took place right outside of Boston, a couple killed on a hill. While this seemed like nothing at first, an eye was painted on the side of the door and glasses were found on the victim’s face. The glasses belong to Foyet,” Ryan read in his special voice.

“So the dude got bored and was like “Fuck my promise”?” Shane looked between both of us.

“Let him finish,” I patted Shane shoulder, looking at the file again.

“It was later announced to the public that Shaunessy was dead,” Ryan read, looking at Shane with raised eyebrows.

“Ohh, you should have led with that!”

Ryan rolled his eyes, going back to the file in front of him.

“Hotchner took up the case with his BAU team-”

“Spencer had to leave (Y/N)’s house early to get there in time,' ' Shane pushed my shoulder, my finger slowly starting to play with the little ring on my finger.

“I wish,” I spoke up, smiling at Shane when he shook his head.

“The team quickly gathered all the information possible, slowly putting the eye signature on the car with the sign off on the letter.”

“He didn’t sign it xoxo?” Shane asked, I shook my head sadly.

“Sorry to get your hopes up,” I spoke gravely, my mask cracking when Shane started smiling.

“I was readying for him to sign A like that show!”

I started laughing, my hand covering my mouth as Ryan tried to explain the show he was talking about.

“Why do they have to be pretty liars, am I pretty when I lie?”

“No,” I said the words so seriously I was shocked with myself. We all three started laughing suddenly.

I hadn’t been at Buzzfeed long, I had only made a few friends and I pretty much got dragged into the video when they needed a test dummy. This was my first video that didn’t make me want to rip my eyes out, I actually was having a great time with Ryan and Shane with the jokes and all.

“Okay,” Ryan coughed, finally reading the file again,” Many tried to brush it off as a copycat but Agent Hotchner refused to drop the case.”

“That’s my bestie,” I smiled, remembering the photo I had with him when the local news decided to take pictures of us standing outside the station. The photo was awkward and I doubt he even remembered my case but I didn’t really care.

“Then a few hours later an older couple, Arthur and Diane Lanessa, were found stabbed and shot. When the earlier victim, Nina Hale, was found on Diane's wrist, people started to worry.”

“Wait I thought he left the one dude glasses, who is still weird to me,” Shane spoke up again.

“That’s what I’m saying! He had his glasses yet he’s a copycat? Cops can be so stupid,” I rambled, still pissed about that to this day.

“The BAU split up to find Foyet, who went into hiding after his attack, to get more details. Agent Hotchner and Agent David Rossi found him staying in a house in Boston.”

“Why would you stay in Boston?” Ryan was the one to speak this time, his nose scrunched up as he thought it over.

“Right, like yes I almost died here let me stay,” Shane mocked Foyet, which made me laugh.

“Later that night The Reaper boarded a busy bus and killed the occupants of it. Many had theories on why he changed his MO but nobody will confirm or deny.”

“I think he was made at Hotch,” I spoke up. I had thought about this alot.

“Why do you think that?”

“He didn’t quite like Shaunessy, I don’t blame Shaunessy, but still. He stuck around even when he could have walked away,” I crossed my arms, slightly proud of my theory.

“You think he gave the same deal?”

“You don’t?” I looked at Ryan, his arms shrugging before he went back to the case.

“There was a cryptic message left on the side the bus along with the Reaper eye,”

“Cryptic message? Is this real?”

“Unfortunately,” I nodded, looking back to Ryan as he spoke.

“The BAU managed to decipher the code into a line of Foyet addresses-”

“Spender did it!”

“And how would you know?” Shane looked to me, raising his eyebrow at me with a little smirk.

“Because he had an eidetic memory and has an IQ of 187,” I spoke proudly, as if I actually knew the person I was talking about. Okay maybe I searched them on the internet one too many times.

“How do you know that?” Ryan asked, laughing at me now.

“Google,” I shrugged, laughing when Shane looked up from his hands.

“What does he even look like?” I held up my finger, fishing my phone out of my back pocket. I quickly unlocked it, placing my thumb print and moving on, and tapped the searched bar. I quickly typed in his name, thankful it didn’t pop up in purple because I couldn’t handle that much teasing.

“Here,” I placed the phone on the table, laughing when Shane moved closer.

“He has a Wikipedia,” Shane looked over his shoulder at Ryan and I, speaking like a kid on Christmas.

“You both have Wikipedia,” I shrugged, not seeing the appeal of the whole life on display.

“You don’t,” Shane pointed out. I jokily pouted, acting all sad as I looked up to the ceiling.

“We can make you one,” Ryan patted my shoulder laughing when I smiled.

“Can we say I’m married to Doctor Spencer Reid?”

Both nodded at the same time, my hand going over my hand and I laugh at their telekinesis response.

“Okay finished this case so (Y/N) and I can stalk Mr. Reid,” Shane patted Ryan shoulder and I lightly smiled to myself.

He seemed like nothing but I finally made some friends, I mean friends I could talk to outside of work.

“Once they arrived at Foyet house they found gallons of blood pulled from the back of the house.”

“So they killed him?”

“Just wait,” I held my finger up, smiling when Shane deflated slightly.

“Multiple police were attacked, even Derek Morgan with the BAU. The specific are not out to the public but a nurse claimed that The Reaper stole Morgan credentials,” Ryan read off the paper, smiling when Shane gasped.

“That’s insane, this case is insane!”

I laughed along with Ryan, all of ours eye scanning over the paper now and we waited for the next bit of information.

“After looking over past cases filed, the BAU were confused on why The Reaper would kill Foyet. Their tech analysis did research to induce that Foyet had multiple aliases, claimed he had them to feel safe from The Reaper, actually had multiple assault charges, and his parents were killed when he was six.”

“Oh my, he killed them didn’t he!” Ryan and I both nodded, Shane’s hands flying up to his hair as he looked between us.

“It was him the whole time! No way!”

“That’s what I said,'' I looked into the camera for the first time in awhile, it felt nice and easy with them. The video was coming easy unlike trying to do awkward yoga poses with strangers.

“They managed to trace everything back to Foyet, concluding he was The Reaper. After more research, Foyet’s phone was tracked to Roy Colson's house. A journalist would recently wrote an article on The Reaper.``

“This feels like a Scooby-Doo mission at this point,” Shane sounded out of breath, looking to the camera with wide eyes.

“We got some work to do now!” I jokily sang the theme song, making the two laugh lightly before moving on to the end of the case.

“The local police arrest Foyet at the house, Colson thankful survived. Foyet was taken to prison immediately after arrest.”

“I thought they lost him?”

“If you don’t let him finish,” I joked, Shane laughed as we finally let Ryan finish.

“Foyet was found in his cell later throwing up blood and convulsions. As being rushed to the hospital, the ambulance was ambushed and Foyet escaped. No more information has been released on the whereabouts of Foyet.”

“They really lost him!”

Shane was in shock at the discovery, my hand covering my mouth quickly before I answered.

“I bet he’s working for the FBI, they hire people when they’re too dangerous.” I tried my best to be serious about the theory but I knew my smile was peaking thought.

“He’s probably the BAU’s personal hitman!”

I laughed with Ryan, my chair had slowly moved closer to his as I kept leaning to see the case file.

“Where do you think Foyet it?”Ryan spoke into the camera, talking to the people that would watch this in a few weeks.

“I think (Y/N) should call her smarty-pants husband and ask,” Shane spit out his last joke before the video ended.

“Yeah, Doctor Spencer Reid please call me with information about the case.” I pointed into the camera like Uncle Sam and winked dramatically.

“He doesn’t have your number,” Ryan reminded me. I let my finger fall, thinking over my words before I pointed back at the camera.

“Email my business email,” I nodded. Shane and Ryan both hit my shoulder. both hands going to my arm to cover them.

“Say bye to our favorite guest ever,” Ryan waved in my face.

“Bye!”

I laughed as the video played on my laptop, laughing when my voice was replaced with light green words floating on the screen. I scrolled down lightly, reading a bunch of comments. I smiled when most were asking if I would ever be on another Unsolved.

My phone went off beside me, my hand reaching for it as I paused the video and moved to my email. I was waiting for an email about an article I was writing and I couldn’t stop hitting refresh.

Shane: i’ve seen two ship edits of (y/n) and spencer reid on my instagram already

Ryan: i saw an edit of shane fall out a chair

I laughed at the messages, the group chat the three of us had formed titled “The Reapers Bitches” never stopped as we had grown a close bond.

I heard the little ding from my laptop, also most screaming when I slammed the refresh button and screamed when I saw an email with a little unread dot beside it.

I didn’t think twice, pushing the email and reading over it quickly.

From: [email protected]

Hello, this is Doctor Spencer Reid with the Behavioral Analysis Unit. I recently saw a video of you mentioning me and my team about a case we worked on a few years back. While I legally can’t share any details with you in this case, I would be open to speaking with others. Please email me back!

I was going to scream, maybe cry, maybe both at this point. I read the email two or three more times, trying to comprehend what I just read.

He did see, shit he did see it. I heard my phone going off beside me, my hand picking it up and typing without reading what they were saying before.

Me: Spencer Fucking Reid just emailed me

I let my phone fall to my lap, reading the email one more time.

“Thank you Buzzfeed Unsolved,” I whispered under my breath.

join the taglist!

permanent taglist:

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@underscorecourt @meowimari @mggsprettygirl

#spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid/you #spencer reid/reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds x reader

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natromanxoff · 3 years

Text

25 - Just Chatting...

Hello one and all.

It's been a long time since I graced these pages and, believe it or not, nothing much has been happening in my life, apart from the odd soiree or two. Winter has finally left us and spring has sprung, and it's nice to see the sun again. Let's start by wishing my old mate a happy birthday and I hope you all had a little drinkie for him, I know I did. In fact I got legless, he would have been proud of me. Whenever we were in London there was always a party at Fred's on his birthday, be it a handful of friends, or one where he invited half of Britain, but which ever one it was there was always a good time to be had and a lot of chaos. One year he actually took over Pikes Hotel in Ibiza and chartered a private plane to fly his friends in. Roger and myself were already on the island recording some of his solo stuff so we didn't have far to travel to the bash. When I say we were working, it's kind of true as we spent a lot of time on his boat "Ga Ga" whizzing around having lunch and fun. The party was held outside around the swimming pool, now is that an invite for trouble or what? There were hundreds of balloons hanging from every available fixture, and of course there is always an idiot that thinks he's a clown. This particular clown, who will remain nameless, decided it would be funny to light one of the balloons, and needless to say the whole lot went up in flames. Phoebe and Crystal to the rescue. We had to get this "fire" off the wooden rafters before the whole hotel went up in smoke, so we were pulling bits of string while burning rubber was dripping down on us. I was so traumatised by the whole event I had to have another drink ....... a lame excuse I know, but hey, it's my story. Back to the pool. Edwin Shirley, of trucking fame and also an all round good guy after a few too many, decided to have a swim, so he removed his clothing and was flapping around the pool when some daft countess told him to get dressed and behave himself. Wrong move lady. Edwin was not impressed by his telling off and threw her in, and she was even less impressed with that and started ranting and raving, much to the amusement to the rest of the party hounds. She left with her tail between her legs and didn't look at all glamorous in her soaking wet dress, running makeup and failed hairdo. We continued till mid morning and went straight to the airport and caught a flight home. Thanks F for the great parties and good times, you will never be forgotten.

I still get asked a lot if I'm gonna write the "Real" story about Queen. Well the answer is no, and the reason is that the guys gave me a great job and a great life and I have far to much respect for them, their wives/girlfriends, children and families to tell the world what we got up to in private. I feel that is our business and ours alone. Most of us are all in relationships and telling tales could make life awkward for a few people, band and crew alike. I'm sure at some point in time someone from the organisation will write a book, have 5 minutes of fame and make a quick buck, but it sure as hell won't be me, and I'll still be able to sleep at night and when I see the guys I will still be free to say, "Wanna beer MATE."

I've had a few questions asked me that I'm gonna answer quickly.

First off is "Do you have any stories about Freddies cats? (ripping furniture etc.)" Here's a good reply, No. So moving right along, "Of all the famous people you've met, who impressed you the most?" Tricky one this. After years in this "Biz" they all become "Just normal people," and some become good pals, but on one occasion I was in Paul McCartneys studio and I was handed his violin bass and I was sitting there holding it when someone said, "Paul is left handed, hold it like he would." When I turned it around, still taped in the cutout was the Beatles set list from their days in Hamburg, now that impressed me.

Deaky and myself were the only two reggae lovers in the outfit, and Bob Marley turned up to see the show at Madison Square Gardens. Strange choice of show for Bob, but he loved Another one bites the dust, and he happened to be in New York on a stopover on his way to Germany for laser treatment. Show time and our intro tape was playing, and someone told JD that Bob was in the audience, so he cranked his bass up and played "Lively up yourself" over the tape. This was very possibly the last time Marley ever heard this played as he died shortly after. I didn't get to meet him, but I did get to meet Tyrone Downie, Bobs keyboard player in the Wailers, and Tyrone and myself got up to all sorts of mischief that night. RT on the other hand hates reggae music, but I did manage to drag him to the Circus Krone in Munich to see Peter Tosh. I loved it, he hated it. I look at this as payback because years before he insisted that I went to Hammersmith Odeon to see Laurie Anderson, of O Superman fame. This show he loved, but I put it alongside Cher as one of the worst concerts I have ever seen. Needless to say I have also met a couple of stars that I didn't see eye to eye with. Like the American rock star we encountered in a club one night, and he was such a pain I had to take him into the toilets to have a quiet word with him. He finally got the message so I released my hand from around his neck and let him drop back down to the ground. To finish this segment I wanna tell you something that Bev Bevan said. Bev was the drummer with ELO, and them and us were touring the US at the same time, and as it turned out, staying in the same hotel in one city. Roger and myself were leaving the hotel and waiting for the elevator. When the doors opened Bev was in there and him and RT said their hellos. Rog then said, "Bev, this is Crystal, he looks after me." Bev turned to me, shook my hand and said, "Pleased to meet you. If it wasn't for guys like you, guys like us wouldn't be where we are today." He didn't need to say that, and was genuine when he did. I wasn't impressed with meeting him, but he is certainly in my top ten of nicest people I have ever meet.

Over the last few months I've spent a lot of time in the Chatroom, and I highly recommend it to you all as it can be a bit of a laugh. For anyone who has never visited the room please remember a couple of things, if you come in and start swearing you will be kicked out. I know, it happens to me all the time. Also don't come in and start going on about knowing axemen and murderers and other such garbage, cause that also warrants a kicking. Some buffoon from Ireland, who went by the name of "Death" turned up with an attitude and was going on about how f***ing awesome Queen were at Slane Castle. He was not known by anyone in there so I asked him to watch his language. He said he was the Grim Reaper and could do and say what he liked, so I told him otherwise and he was most put out when I kicked him. What a fool. A while ago there was some prat who called himself F***queen, good name eh! Anyway, he/she/it was picking on a lovely young lady called Raisa, and was saying some awful things to her and completely freaked her out, so I went to her defence and FQ turned the attention my way. As far as I'm concerned it's only letters on a screen and it didn't phase me at all, but at least he/she/it gave up on Raisa. In all fairness to FQ, whoever you may be, he/she left a message on the Bulletin Board saying sorry to Raisa and myself and would never do it again. So FQ, from the both of us, thanks for the apology, we accept it. What other weirdos have we had? Well, there was a brightspark who decided it would be funny to use the nickname QueenRshite, another bad move from this person who was honoured with a ban.

While in there I've seen a lot of friendships made, and a couple that have fallen apart. I got a private message one evening from a very drunk girl who, how shall we phrase this, offered me her body and wanted to do all sorts of naughty things to me, I thanked her and declined...must be getting old or something. I have also witnessed relationships being made and, usually there is a lot of humour involved, but needless to say some arguments do occur. I have also seen some of the daftest things said. One guy was so convinced that one of the regulars was either Deaky or she was chatting with him in private that he actually started tracking her every move on the net. He also told me about some highly illegal activities he was up to concerning the band. I wouldn't have thought I was the best person to tell such stuff to, and needless to say I had a go at him. Just to add to his stupidity he's been recently boasting about his affair with an underage girl, and I reckon if he had any more sense he would be half witted. Having mentioned all the twits I'd like to say a quick hello to all the regulars, White Queen and Killer Queen, the lovely girls Blue Rock and Rannnnnnni, SQJan, Mayflower and her boys, Farookh (aka Leroy Brown) MarshMallow, the three Tigers - Babe, Lily and Stripes and the mighty Falc, also to all the rest who I haven't mentioned by name, you know who you are. I'd also like to say hi to Daddy Cool who is the singer in the Dutch cover band Miracle, and Dad, if you never make it as a singer you could make a great career from being a stand up comedian. Finally an extra special hello to the gorgeous MTB, who is about to make an honest man of me ;)

Before I go I'm sure I don't need to remind anyone of a certain date in November that is engraved in all of our minds. And I know that a lot of you will be heading to Garden Lodge to leave flowers. I don't wanna preach and tell you what to do, and I know flowers are a nice gesture, but they do die and the only people to really benefit from this is the florist. This year lets all give a donation, no matter how small, to Aids research, this way the cash will be used to try and stamp out this awful disease. If you really wanna leave flowers, buy a smaller, cheaper bunch and donate the balance of what you would have spent to these charities. It's been said a million times before but it is true, Every penny counts.

As always, Loadsa Love.

Crystal

#queen #queen band #freddie mercury #john deacon #peter freestone #crystal taylor #crystal's tales

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razorblade180 · 4 years

Text

Thin Divide: Among Us

Eight people, two imposters. Snuff them out or complete the required tasks. Good luck!

Nora:I call it now, it’s definitely Jaune.

Jaune:You see that make you look suspicious Nora, but that’s so in character of you that I’m pretty sure you’re just a crew mate.

Nora:Maybe that’s the plan? Hehehe.

Weiss:Are you blaming Jaune or incriminating yourself?

Ren:Don’t even. Just don’t, she’s gonna do this the entire game.

Ruby:Alrighty! Let’s do this guys. We have our tasks, just keep an eye out for anything suspicious....

Nora:I’ll be watching Jaune like a hawk! I’ll catch him in the act!

Jaune:This is going to be a long game....

Pyrrha:Or a really short one.

xxxxx

Several minutes pass. Everything seems fine and people are on task. Yet things are a little tense. No one is talking. They’re all learning the rules and being cautious. Nora casually follows Jaune to do wiring and go just about everywhere. She can feel it in her gut. “I’m onto you.” She thinks as he suddenly sprints around a corner out of sight. Suddenly, lights shut off. Things suddenly feel like a bad idea.

Nora:What the!? That’s cheap. Maybe stalking someone alone was a bad idea. Oh! I’ll get Ren t-

xxxxx

Emergency Meeting!

RWBY JPR:Huh?

📢Yang: Oh, so that’s what that button- oh geez, Nora’s dead!

Ren:Wait, what!?

Everyone looks at the character icons to see Nora’s crossed out. Ren goes pale.

Ren:Nora! Who’s responsible for this!? Where was the body found!?

Blake:Nowhere, Yang pressed the button. However....*looks at Jaune* I did see her following you.

Jaune:You know why! I didn’t do it! Ren I did not do it.

Ren:I’ll vote you out right now. Jaune I swear-

Jaune:I just finished doing wires! I’ve been focusing on task and nothing else. Yeah I saw her spy on me, then lights went out. Now we’re here.

Blake:I’m just saying you had all the opportunities to do it. The fact that you’re so offended isn’t helping.

Jaune:We have no proof and you’re suspecting me!

Weiss:You were the one with her.

Pyrrha let’s not jump to conclusions. Someone could be framing him.

Ruby:Where was everyone? I was doing trash.

Blake and Yang:Med bay.

Weiss:This map is confusing. Communications, maybe?

Jaune:No, I was there. Unless there’s another one.

Ren:A room with a tree.

Yang:It’s totally Jaune. He’s alone and already knows the map.

Ruby:I know the map. Weiss is just bad. You’re bad if you don’t know the map!

Yang:I know it.

RWPJ:THEN YOUR POINT MAKES NO SENSE!

Times up. No one voted. Two imposters remain.

Jaune walked back two wards communications. The group had gotten pretty familiar with all the cool things possible. Cameras, vents, everything. This time two people followed Jaune. Yang and Blake. He started sweating.

Yang:Why are universe lady killer? Running out of luck?

Jaune:It’s possible. You two could possibly kill me then cover it up. Do your tasks!

Yang:We were together all the time last round. We’re in the clear.

Blake:It’s you that’s in the hot seat.

xxxxx

Ren:*getting oxygen* Who do you think did it?

Ruby:I don’t wanna point fingers, but Yang would totally thrive in this game. But Weiss is possible too. Stay focused. Killing Nora was to make you stirred up. Keep a cool-

Reactor Meltdown

Ren:That’s not good.

Ruby:You go left, I’ll go right! Be safe!

xxxx

Jaune:I’m going to stop the-

Blake:It’s taking you awhile on that panel Jaune. Don’t tell me you’re stalling?

Jaune:No, I’m just bad! Let me go the reactor or we lose!

Yang:Ooorrr I go. If Blake dies then you’re dead! If you don’t finish that panel-

Jaune:You have 30 seconds!

Yang goes sprinting out of the room. Blake goes to do her task across the room. She’s definitely sure it’s Jaune. This plan is full proof. Yeah if she dies then that would suck but-

Jaune:Ummm why hasn’t anyone stopped the reactor yet?

The counter was already at ten. What was taking Yang so long!? Both ran to the door in a panic to reach the reactor but then-

Report!

Everyone spawned back at the button. Well not everyone. Yang’s named was crossed out, and Ruby had teary eyes with a finger pointed at Weiss.

Ruby:MURDERER!!!

📢Weiss:Ruby it’s not what you think! I-

Ruby:Oh I saw! I saw perfectly! Right on the bridge leading to the reactor panel on the right. You were right over her corpse!

Blake:What!?

Weiss:I know it looks bad, but I found her like this! I run because I saw 1 out of 2 on the panels-

Ren:Me. I was on the other panel. Ruby was with getting oxygen and chose to get the other one.

Ruby:Yeah I wasn’t expecting to walk in on a crime scene.

Weiss:Wait! I was all the way at the bottom of the map. You should’ve gotten there before me.

Blake:Oh now you can read a map!?

Weiss:It takes time! It has to be Ruby.

Ruby:WHAT!?

Pyrrha:I was in electrical by the way. I know nobody was with me but I promise I’m innocent.

RWBR:We know Pyrrha.

Jaune:I don’t think it’s you but the fact you’ve been alone twice now.

Blake:Oh no, you’re definitely still an imposter Jaune.

Ruby:NONE OF THAT MATTERS! I want Weiss out right now!

The reaper puts her vote in.

Weiss:Ruby!

Ruby:Sister killer! You were by yourself too. I know you Weiss, always plotting. I came across a locked door while heading there that slowed me down. Nobody can confirm where you were, and you could’ve easily vented to get where you needed to be. You’re just mad I caught you so you self reported.

Weiss:That’s- I....don’t be a dolt. You all can’t be serious, right?

Pyrrha hugs a crying Ruby while the others have their heart ache at the sight. They all look at Weiss suspiciously, taking the risk to vote. It was unanimous. Weiss was immediately escorted to the air lock, struggling the whole way.

Weiss:You’re being tricked! I’m innocent!!

Ruby:Tell it to the souls you’ve taken.

She was shot into space. All of them watching her drift away. Ruby rubbed her eyes, then gasped.

Weiss was not an imposter. 2 imposters remain.

Ruby slowly backed away towards Ren. Right now, he was the only trustworthy one. Someone’s playing mind games and it’s working two well. Nobody had the chance to get anything done before Jaune presser the emergency button.

Jaune:Okay, we obviously need a minute to reevaluate-

Blake:You’re an imposter!

Jaune:We were in a room together! Why wouldn’t I kill you and vent away. At that point I could’ve made up a story! But no, I just wanna shoot asteroids!

Pyrrha:Fair point, it would’ve been a double kill.

Ruby:All of you look suspicious except for Ren! *votes Jaune*

Pyrrha:Ruby! He only pressed the button to clear the air!

Ren:He did just come up with a good argument.

Blake:I’m voting for Jaune.

Jaune:Well I’m skipping! Pyrrha please skip two before there’s two imposters and two crew mates. This is very bad time to throw caution to the wind.

Pyrrha:I agree. *skips*

Ren:....*skips* If someone dies next round and it isn’t Jaune then it’s definitely Jaune. You’re on thin ice, so are you Pyrrha. You agree with him easily.

Pyrrha:Ren, that’s not suspicious. I do that in real life.

Blake:And he’s using it to his advantage.

Jaune:You’ve been gunning for me since the start basically, even though you were with me. That’s pretty suspicious.

They all went their separate ways except for Ren and Ruby. This was dire. Everyone sounded sketch and friendships were crumbling. Next time for sure, a vote needed to happen. Pyrrha found herself going back near the button whe Jaune came out of a room to the right, alone. Both of them looked at each nervously.

Pyrrha:What are your tasks? I’ve already seen two other people enter that room before?

Jaune:I was checking vitals. We’re all alive and my tasks are done. What are you doing?

Pyrrha:I was gonna call another meeting. Say, are you saying I’ll go in that room right now and we’re fine?

Jaune:There is no body in there. Check for yourself. If I was an imposter then I’d be on cool down. Plus you could report and I’d feel the vaccum of space.

Pyrrha nodded and peeked in. No blood or anything. She went to the vitals to confirm that everyone actually was alive. The imposters must’ve known how risky things are now. It was fine. Tasks were almost done. Jaune was finally looking normal. She breathed a sigh or relief.

Jaune:Don’t tell me you were expecting a body?

Pyrrha:*red* I’m sorry!

Jaune:It happens. Honestly I thought you were about to stab me.

Pyrrha:I don’t like this game. It’s stressful. Doubting my friends isn’t exactly fun.

Jaune:What we need is a trap. A play that leaves Blake and Ruby red handed.

Pyrrha:You think it’s them?

Jaune:It has to be, and I know just the way to check one of them and keep us in the game. Pyrrha, I have a plan....

xxxx

Ruby and Ren watched the cameras in silence. Blake was at the trash while Pyrrha and Jaune were near the button. Ruby looked at Ren and smiled.

Ruby:It’s Blake and Jaune.

Ren:How can you tell?

Ruby:Unless Blake has a similar task, I did trash already. Shall we question her, or wait for actual proof.

Ren:Tasks are almost done. We might be able t-

Reactor Meltdown

Ren:Shit, Pyrrha can’t press the button now.

Ruby:But this also gives us a chance! Imma about to catch them red handed! Ren, stay on cameras and watch me go to the left. That way you can report my body if get killed, or out them if they self report. Jaune’s not dumb. He has to go right in order to act innocent and cancel the meltdown. Pyrrha would catch on otherwise. Especially if Blake goes right and nothing is fixed or they’re both alive. Meaning...

Ren:Blake has to go left or stay where she is.

Ruby and Ren high-five and get to work. Ruby starts sprinting as fast as she can. Ren checks the right side and sure enough, Jaune has a hand on the panel. Blake comes up from the bottom to where Pyrrha is. It would be dangerous if Blake killed her, but then she would definitely get voted out. The faunus slowly gets closer to the red head when suddenly, the cameras get jacked.

Ren:What!?

xxxxx

Pyrrha:Go left!

Blake:Gotcha!

Blake runs to the left to get the other panel. So far so good. Let’s see how right Jaune is. Pyrrha stared at the camera. Strange, she was certain it was on earlier. Now it was off, then flicked back on briefly. Seconds later, the meltdown ended but she didn’t press the button. Not yet. She was told to wait five seconds. In that amount of time, Blake might-

Report!

📢Blake:Guys, Ren is-

RJP:You killed him.

Blake:Wh-What? No, I found him on the ground in the camera room!

Ruby:Yeah, where you killed him. I thought you’d go after me. Sloppy mistake, Blake. Now we caught you.

Jaune:I cut off the meltdown, and Ruby had to get the other one. I found it funny how eager you were to get rid of me by vote. You killed Nora to add to the suspicions. You couldn’t kill me directly because of Yang. She wasn’t an imposter but stuck to you like glue.

Pyrrha:So you had your partner kill her because you couldn’t do it without outing yourself. But if Jaune died alone with you after all that blame then you’d be caught! If you payed attention then you would’ve saw the cameras were on this round. You killed Ren without him noticing then checked them yourself.

Jaune:You soon realized you could only self report because the meltdown ended. No way you could get to the panel that fast unless you vented. Now the real question is how committed are you two bluffing, Ruby Rose? If you don’t vote Blake....

Pyrrha:Then you’re definitely the second imposter.

Blake:Ruby don’t believe them! We know Jaune is definitely-

Ruby:*votes Blake* You betrayed my sister and made me accidentally vote for Weiss because I swept up in emotions. Just like how you got Ren to look at Jaune after Nora died. I’m done with you.

The others voted for Blake. The girl could say nothing. She was at a loss for words. The trap was perfect, calculated to a the last detail. Blake took a deep sigh and walked to the airlock, giving Jaune one final look.

Blake:Well played...

The airlock opened and the three watched their friend get launched into space.

Pyrrha:Jaune that idea was amaz-

Blake was not an imposter.

Pyrrha felt her blood go cold. Those were not the words she wanted to see. She didn’t even turn around to look her “friends” and chose to stare out the window. She felt both of them pat her back. 2 imposters still remained. A problem for her, the remaining crew mate. The sight of Ruby holding a gun and Jaune with a knife was visible in the window reflection.

Ruby:Knife or bullet. You deserve the choice.

Pyrrha:Jaune’s stabbed me in back metaphorically already. Might as well do it physically.

Jaune:That’s fair.

Imposters Win

[post game]

Jaune and Ruby:Oh yeah!!!! That’s why we’re leaders!

Weiss:You can’t say that after killing your teammates!

Nora:I demand an explanation!

Jaune:Ren is too smart and figures things out fast. Had to kill you first anyways. You saying I was an imposter was just an unfortunate coincidence. But let’s talk about how you were my only kill.

Pyrrha:Ruby, you killed everyone else!?

Yang:I walked halfway up that bridge thing to the panel and then she comes running down it and kills me. Now I’m watching as ghost as she jumps into a vent and waits for Weiss to find me to put on the most believable performance of her life. You killed me, then cried about it!

Weiss:I was pleading to a murderer! You put blame on Jaune so he could do it to you and throw the trail off!

Ruby:I also told Ren that it was either you or Yang, that way he’d vote the way I wanted. I think Blake was the real crown of the plan.

Jaune:This is why you don’t blame people so fast. You had to go.

Blake:Ren, what happened to you?

Ren:*face palming*So I was watching everyone until the cameras went out, which I now know was Ruby’s doing, because she had the nerve to kill her camera last. She looked right into it as she jumped into a vent back to me.

Ruby:If you were watching then I knew you were still there and alone. I killed him, took a vent back to where I was supposed to be, stopped the meltdown, and pinned the death of Blake. All with the simple lie about me taking out the trash and not killing Ren earlier.

Jaune:And I used Pyrrha’s trust. Thank you.

Pyrrha:Don’t talk to me! You got me to skip a vote and vote Blake off! Ruby, you cried in my arms! How could you use me like that!?

Jaune and Ruby:Because you’re so helpful! Thanks Pyrrha!

WBYNR:Yeah, thanks Pyrrha.

Pyrrha:*red* I’m sorry!!!

#rwby #rwby thin divide #jaune arc #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #ruby rose #pyrrha nikos #lie ren #nora valkyrie #amoung us

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kueble · 3 years

Note

Jaskier is an internet sensation who plays video games and Geralt is his horny boyfriend

Thanks for this fun prompt, anon! This is by far the most self-indulgent thing I’ve ever written. I hope you’re as amused by it as I am. For fic purposes, we’re pretending this is set sometime in “Spring 2021″ and the Mass Effect remaster is out.

---

“Hey guys!” Jaskier chirps as he opens up his stream for the night. “I’m sure you’re all well aware of how excited I am for tonight, but if you missed last time, we’re going to recruit my space boyfriend! Seeing as my actual boyfriend is standing in the doorway pouting like a grumpy little thing, I won’t gush too much about Garrus Vakarian. Just know that I can’t wait to seduce him in all of his remastered glory.”

Jaskier starts the mission, rambling about how much he loves the idea of the Citadel but hates the politics fueling everything. His viewer count increases steadily, and he thinks it’ll be a good stream today. Apparently people love watching him shoot while babbling about his favorite game. He’d thought about playing this for himself, not bothering to stream it, but he’s glad Geralt changed his mind. He remembers the conversation fondly. You’re not annoying. People love your enthusiasm. Who cares if it’s just a remaster? Go kick some Reaper ass.

“C-sec officer with a heart of gold and deadly aim? My heart is all aflutter,” Jaskier giggles, winking at the camera. The chat explodes with a bunch of kissy faces and he rolls his eyes lovingly. He has a good deal of regulars and adores them all.

His team is stuck in the longest elevator ride ever, so Jaskier looks up and searches for Geralt. His boyfriend normally watches him stream from the couch in their gaming room, but he’s not there. He hears footsteps in the hallway and the tell-tale signs of Geralt rustling around in their closet, but he can’t tell what he’s doing and it’s enough to drive him insane. He pushes that thought out of his head and starts talking again.

“So, anyone else wanna date a Turian?” he asks and the chat blows up again. “Well my my, so many alien lovers out there. Who would have thought?” he feigns surprise but offers up another wink. He launches into a rant on what he would have done during the first contact wars but it quickly unravels into a pro-alien fucking endorsement instead. He can’t help it. His space boyfriend is just the best.

“I love that you’re all on my level here. No need to pretend to be classy when I’m leering at my boy. I can’t wait to romance him,” Jaskier admits. He leans in and eyes the chat, rolling his eyes again. “Yes, Bellatrix71. I am aware that Bioware was entirely too short-sighted to include a gay romance for my main man. However, mentally I am getting some sweet Turian ass, ok? Male Shepard deserves to get it, too. Or maybe I’ll switch it up and play female Shepard for the third game. Who knows?”

Then a battle breaks out and he swears before focusing again. Maybe he should have lowered his level, since he’s trying things out as an Adept for the first time. He prefers Vanguard, but there’s only so many times you can replay a game on the same settings. Fuck, he hates the aiming schematics on pistols. He transitions into a rant about them, laughing when half the chat agrees with him and the other half is outraged.

There’s a quick cough from the doorway and Jaskier looks over the top of his screen to find his boyfriend standing there, chewing on his lower lip and giving him an evil grin. He tries to keep his attention on the game, but Geralt lifts his arms and runs his fingers through his hair, letting his eyes fall closed as he gathers up the long strands. He winks and brings his left wrist to his mouth, chuckling softly as he bites the hair tie around it and works it up to his fingers. It shouldn’t be sexy, it’s ridiculous, but Jaskier has a weird Pavlovian response as he watches the man secure a messy bun on top of his head.

A huge explosion on screen catches his attention, and he tears his gaze away from his gorgeous distraction of a boyfriend, who is now cackling at him from the doorway. Jaskier grumbles under his breath and quickly takes out the enemy squadron. He eyes the chat again and laughs at the familiar teasing.

“Yes, the boy-toy is here now,” Jaskier confirms with a huff. “I’m sorry, but he’s doing his best to ruin my run through here. Oh yeah, MyChildGrunt87, he’s most definitely jealous. All this talk about the space boyfriend has me all hot and bothered.” He fans himself with one hand - playing it up for the camera - before sticking his tongue out at Geralt.

He’s able to concentrate for a little bit longer, tossing out some running jokes with his regular viewers. He’s halfway through a ramble about his favorite shops on the Citadel when Geralt clears his throat, begging for attention again. Geralt toys with the zipper at his neckline, and it takes way too long for Jaskier to realize that he’s wearing his N7 hoodie. He’s about to tell him exactly how rude that is, but Geralt blows him a kiss and starts slowly working the zipper down.

It’s really unfair how hot he is.

Jaskier keeps rambling, half-heartedly shooting as he watches Geralt unzip the black hoodie, revealing his bare chest beneath it. There’s so much tanned skin, and Jaskier chews at his lower lip, fingers eager to touch the man currently taunting him. Once the hoodie is completely unzipped, Geralt lets it hang there, framing his body as he trails a hand down his muscles. It’s nothing Jaskier hasn’t seen before, but every time is as good as the first, has him bursting at the seams and desperate for it.

Jaskier is entranced, eyes wide as Geralt traces his Adonis belt teasingly, pausing briefly before dipping his fingers past his waistband and licking his lips. He lets out a whimper before catching himself and turning his attention back to his game. The chat is full of accusations, and he doesn’t have time to refute them all. His followers know he’s kind of a slut, so this shouldn’t surprise anyone. He offers a quick wave goodbye and shrugs in apology.

“Well, looks like our time is up! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go blow my boyfriend. Catch you later!” he blurts out as he stops the stream and jumps out of his chair. He can deal with his sponsors later, but right now he has needs. Geralt is laughing as he drags him over to the couch and shoves him down onto it, dropping to his knees.

Maybe Garrus is overrated after all.

---

Tags list: @halerune @honeysuckletook @eya-trying-to-function

Let me know if you'd like to be removed or added from tags please. And I will try to remember to tag you 🤦‍♀️

#geraskier #my fic #geralt x jaskier #modern au #gamer jaskier #I just wanted Geralt in an N7 hoodie ok?#and Jaskier obviously loves my space boyfriend #geralt #jaskier #the witcher

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still-a-morosexual-help · 3 years

Text

OBEY ME! LESSON 56 DETAILED SUMMARY AND DISCUSSION/THEORIES

*I wrote this days after the lesson was first posted and never bothered to go back and edit it so meaning there will be me theorizing about the next lesson as well

*I write a small para for each chapter and I write it immediately after finishing that chapter so there’ll be theorizing about the next chapter too

*I swear more than usual here

*Some of the dialogue is heavily plagiarized and a few is lifted directly from the story, the game is to figure which is which.

*Summaries and Discussions/theories for all the other lessons can be found on this blog under #obey me spoilers or #my theories or #my headcanons

This has one locked lesson cause of course it does

Belphie’s upset that their names got called on the loudspeaker as if they were the lost children and not Diavolo. MC says the others won’t let them ever live this down if they found out and Belphie says he’ll be teased for centuries. Belphie tells a story about how he once got lost in the Celestial Realm and spent hours in a tree crying, MC asks why he was on a tree, and he says cause he thought he’s be able to see the direction of the celestial palace from there. It had eventually been Raphael who found him and he ended up taking a liking to the tree so he would climb it and nap up there whenever he wanted to avoid work. MC asks whether he like Raphael. Belphie says he never thought about it either way but that Raphael always looked like he had it rough (course he did – he had to try to get Belphie and his brothers under control cause Lucifer was much more lenient those days. I’ve mentioned this before but I’m certain that Lucifer blames his leniency as what got Lilith killed and that’s why he’s unreasonably strict with the brothers now) MC asks what Raphael was like – he says he worked hard for little reward and his job was looking after Michael’s needs no matter how unreasonable (and they really are the Lucifer and Diavolo of the Celestial Realm aren’t they!?). He was meticulous and methodical and he always had a sullen, irritated look making him always seem like he was in a bad mood. And his evil eye looked so evil you could almost mistake him for a demon. Belphie says he hasn’t seen him in a ling time and wonders how he’s doing. Belphie says all this with a smile on his face and this is the first time we’ve heard someone talk about Raphael in a positive light and this supports my theory that Belphie sees the Celestial Realm in a more positive light than the others probably do (which is why he irrationally directed all his anger at the humans). I’m also 10% certain the person Simeon was meeting with was Raphael not Michael cause I don’t think we’ve heard Belphie mention Michael once so it makes sense that they would have him recognise the angel he would later talk about. They get to the desk and Belphie goes to give their names but MC cuts in with ‘snoozy’ before he can say his. The employee comments on the name and Belphie blushes and says it’s embarrassing and asks MC to stop laughing about it. The employee gives them the note which happens to be a ransom note. Lol this guy is fucked.

Belphie complains about Barbatos failing to teach Diavolo not to walk off with strangers (in my very first theory/headcanon posts I compared Barbatos and Diavolo’s relationship to the one between Alfred and Bruce Wayne and I completely stand by that. I think Barbatos is significantly older than Diavolo the same way Lucifer’s significantly older than his brothers and similar to Lucifer and his brothers I think Barbatos had a hand in raising Diavolo. Given that we now know that Barbatos might have powers that rivalled the demon king it’s possible that he may be as old as him, or just slightly younger, than him as well. Tldr; Barbatos gives off heavy Alfred Pennyworth vibes). Belphie doesn’t want to deal with this and MC says they can’t just ignore it (also they will be murdered twice over if they do) and Belphie says he knew they’d say that and agrees to humour this stupid fucking human. He says he doesn’t wanna get tortured by Lucifer and Barbatos but the idea of going and rescuing Diavolo like one of his good little pawns makes him sick too. They head to the circus tent and are greeted by a happy and beaming Diavolo sitting on a chair with a man holding a gun to his head and demanding money (what a fucking amateur ass kidnapper at least give ‘em time to go and get the money! What you think people just walk around with wads of cash in their pockets!?) Belphie ignores him and scolds Diavolo for just waiting around for them to come get him and for leaving them in the first place. The man panics and tells them to stop moving closer unless they want him to shoot Diavolo. Diavolo also ignores the man , apologising and saying with a bright smile after the ride he was feeling sick and this man stopped and checked he was alright. Diavolo calls the man considerate cause he promised to help diavolo find the two of them and look! He kept his promise! Bsdjfjibvdmck this poor fucking kidnapper… Belphie groans and asks Diavolo if he even realises what’s going on rn and says even after being from a royal family he can’t be this sheltered and oblivious. The man’s just getting more stressed at how no one here seems to care about him as he keeps screaming about being serious and blowing Diavolo’s head off his shoulders (This poor guy – even MC who’s lived the most normal life from the three of them has faced more threatening life or death situations to give a shit). Belphie just tells the man to shut up with the most bored expression on his face. He then transforms into his demon form resulting in the man screaming his head off. Belphie just tells the man he talks too much, casually asking if he should make it so that no one has to ever listen to the man run his mouth again. The man stutters, calls Belphie a monster and tells him to stay back and panicking points his gun at Belphie. MC either using their very on magic creates a wind (called ‘wind of protection’) strong enough that it stops the bullet when he shoots or a raging fire (called ‘fire of judgment’) that takes over the bottom of the screen that’s powerful enough that it actually melts the bullet mid-flight and then rushes to the man making him scream and making the whole screen flash red (I had a moment of ‘HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT DID MC JUST BURN A MAN ALIVE!? DID ALL THIS LEAD UP TO MC COMMITING MURDER!? WHY AM I LOWKEY EXCITED!?’) but no the guy’s still alive, I think the fire just made him move back from all of them. (but can we talk about how powerful MC’s own magic is and how it seems to be at its most powerful when they’re protecting the people they love? (like when they unconsciously counteracted all the curses in the reaper’s cave that should have killed the brothers, or when they saw Satan use a healing spell once and were later able to effectively use it on Mammon later despite the fact that the were having trouble picking up the spells Satan was actually trying to teach them). The man screams asking what the two of them are (ajfkjfcijzh didn’t Solomon say just last lesson that they were supposed to keep this all secret!!!!???) Belphie says bullets can’t actually harm him but he still smiles and thanks them. Diavolo seemingly in shock says that the man fired his gun at Belphie and that he was trying to hurt Belphie (despite the fact that Diavolo knows a gun wouldn’t hurt Belphie it’s the fact that the man didn’t know that and had the intention to hurt Belphie that sticks with him and I think that means a lot), A pale purple aura starts swirling around him and he instantly transforms into his demon form, looking furious and screaming “HOW DARE YOU…!” The man screams.

The man drops his gun and runs away. Diavolo says, serious for once, that they can’t let him run away and that he’ll contact Barbatos to get the royal army and – (bro you’re gonna start a war bro chill), Belphie says he can’t bring the army here he might accidently bring about the destruction of the humans (funny how a couple yrs ago Belphie would have been all for this plan) and Diavolo looks sad saying he can’t just let this go. MC and Belphie both get Diavolo to try and calm down, with Belphie telling Diavolo he wasn’t hurt and transforming back to his human form, before saying that Diavolo didn’t need to transform as well & that if Lucifer and Barbatos find out Belphie’ll get in trouble. Diavolo transforms back and says the man tried to harm a dear friend and he couldn’t help but get angry. Belphie blushes and can’t come up with words. MC teases Belphie asking if he’s blushing and he denies it while still blushing. Diavolo also notes that he’s flushed and is worried that it’s a sign that he’s been hurt somehow. Still blushing Belphie says he’s not hurt and to stop worrying about him and that they should leave. Diavolo says since they’re here at the circus tent they should watch the circus perform since Belphie likes human world circuses. Belphie’s surprised and asks Diavolo how he knows that, Diavolo says Lucifer told him a long time ago, Belphie asks why and Diavolo says when they’re alone Lucifer talks a lot about his brothers, specially Belphie (Lucifer also has random pictures of his brothers that he takes without them knowing as they go about their daily life… This man is such a proud dad. He pulls out his wallet and a whole roll of pictures unfold all the way to the floor and across the room and he’ll tell the story behind each picture to anyone who listens.) He’s also told Diavolo about Belphie’s favourite tree in the Celestial Realm and the story of how he found that tree. Back then Lucifer always thought whenever Belphie wasn’t with his siblings he’d be up in the tree napping or down in the human world watching the circus and that’d made diavolo determined to see the circus too. Diavolo then asks if they can see the circus together. Belphie’s still shocked but then he blushes again and agrees. Inside Belphie and Diavolo are both clinging to MC as they cheer, scream and argue about the safety of the trapeze artist. MC can ask Diavolo if he wants them to cover his eyes cause he’s scared for her safety despite Belphie telling him there’s a net, ask Belphie if he wants to hold their hand cause he’s just as nervous or excited or comment to no one how they’ve got a demon attached to both their arms.

It’s night out and as a reward for coming to get Diavolo Belphie was allowed to pick all the rides they went on, Diavolo looks like he’s gone through hell, stuttering and asking if that was all. Diavolo asks how MC’s doing they say they threw up in a bin and are feeling better now (or they can say they had fun) Diavolo says he threw up in so many bins he lost count. He asks if they should head home and Belphie says there’s one last thing he wants to ride, Diavolo starts stuttering again. Belphie says it’s the ferris wheel, Diavolo’s shocked and asks if it’s cause Belphie remembered him saying he wanted to ride it, Belphie tries to deny it but Diavolo doesn’t buy it – instead he smiles brightly and gushes about how nice and sweet Belphie is which makes Belphie blush and demand him to stop. Diavolo marvels at the lights from up in the ferris wheel and how they look like stars, Belphie says he’s getting too excited. Diavolo ignores this and points out his hotel and the brothers’ manor. Belphie says he sounds like a child and Diavolo laughs and says that Lucifer says the same. Diavolo, while still smiling, says that in a way he is a child, a child who spends his time alone and never gets to do anything interesting (and holy shit that’s sad – he really did grow up alone in that huge castle…) Belphie doesn’t know what to say to this and Diavolo asks what’s wrong. Belphie says he’s surprised cause he never knew Diavolo saw himself that way. Diavolo laughs and says he never expected Belphie to treat him with kindness and Belphie asks what kind of heartless monster did Diavolo imagine him as (look despite all the shit I give Belphie I do really love him but also I mean…. He does kinda make it known how much he dislikes diavolo…) Diavolo laughs it off, he says today he learnt things about Belphie that even Lucifer hadn’t told him and that there’s probably a lot about Diavolo that Belphie doesn’t know about either. Diavolo says he knows they’ve had there differences, specially cause Diavolo had his position to consider and that he had been very strict with Belphie in the past and that he still doesn’t consider that a mistake (YES!! FINALLY!!) and that despite all that they were still able to get along well today, he thanks MC for their help in bringing them to this point. They say they didn’t even do anything special, Belphie says that he agrees with Diavolo and that they did help. Diavolo says he wants to talk more with Belphie and if Belphie agrees nothing would make him happier. Belphie’s silent for a bit before he slowly agrees. Diavolo thanks him and says there’s one more place he wants to drop by.

They end up at the brothers’ place. Asmo welcomes them back, Diavolo says “I’m home!...just kidding pardon the intrusion” AND you just KNOW this man wishes he wasn’t kidding and that he could really live with all of them. Asmo asks how his day went & Diavolo says he had fun. When beel asks Belphie says he’s really tired. Asmo invites Diavolo to stay for dinner, saying Lucifer & Barbatos are cooking. Diavolo says he’ll go and help them but Belphie makes him sit down and tells him to relax after the day they had. Diavolo beams and thanks Belphie for worrying about him and Belphie blushes and tries to deny it, saying that since him & MC aren’t helping if Diavolo goes to help it’ll just make them look bad. Diavolo says he actually wants to help and that the other two can wait here (hey Lucifer and Barbatos are Diavolo’s closest friends right? And you tend to tell your closest friends everything that happens… MC & Belphie are so fucked). (this next interaction has such strong sibling vibes? Like I’m telling you I’ve had this exact same conversation before) Levi & Mammon seem to find the whole interaction between the two of them interesting and make noises about it, when Belphie asks them what, Levi says it’s nothing and Mammon asks how it went. Belphie says they went to a park and now they’re back. Satan says the others meant how it went with Diavolo. Belphie says like he said before there was nothing to it. Asmo says the interaction between the two of them says different and Satan agrees. Beel congratulates him and Belphie blushes and says he has no idea what they’re talking about. Mammon then asks MC if there were any problems, if they wondered off and got lost. MC either denies it so harshly it’s immediately unbelievable or says no…not really. Levi asks what ‘not really’ means. Belphie asks Mammon why he asked that and if he remembered the time he got lost in a park. Beel also then remembers that. Mammon says he’s not the one that got lost and that it was the twins. The three of them then argue about who really got lost. Asmo tells them to each say their side of the story. Mammon had been playing darts when the twins disappeared and he’d ended up searching all over for them and he’s been really freaked out. The twins say they went to buy soft serve and when they came back Mammon wasn’t there and they ended up going around finding him. MC, Satan and Asmo says it sounds like all 3 of them fucked up. Diavolo then calls them for dinner. (This whole arcs gives me ‘taking your new partner’s kid who hates you on a day out so that you can bond’ vibes with MC there solely to act as the buffer)

During dinner they talk about their day at the park, apparently they rode the freefall of death thrice in a row and Belphie happily tells Diavolo that next time they go they should ride it again. Diavolo very obviously reluctantly agrees to, which Mammon points out. Diavolo said he did enjoy it but next time he wants a break between riding it over and over again. Belphie says it wouldn’t be a marathon if they took breaks. Diavolo says next time they should all go together and maybe even try out a different theme park. Levi suggests a space themed park with another insane ride that tries to kill you, Mammon reads the description of the ride and immediately nopes out. Satan teases Mammon for being scared which he protests to, Beel asks for a place with good food, Levi says he was waiting for Beel to say that and Diavolo happily laughs and after being alone for so long a lively dinner like this full of people he cares about who care about him in turn was probably something he always wanted. After dinner in the warmly lit music room Barbatos brings Lucifer coffee, Diavolo and Satan are playing chess, Levi is rambling to Asmo about the game he and Diavolo were playing and Asmo happily tells him he has no idea what he’s talking about, and Belphie asks to talk with MC. He tells them despite how much he initially complained he had fun and he thanks them, they say they’re happy things turned out well. He says he never thought he would end up feeling like this. Lucifer then calls the both of them to him. He says they did well today and seeing the relaxed way Diavolo’s getting along with the others like there’s no tension between them is a relief. He thanks them. Belphie smiles as he says that Diavolo looks like he’s having fun with the others. “By the way…” Lucifer says with a smile ‘Diavolo told me about what happened today you little fucks’ (told you he’d snitch to Lucifer) Belphie’s shocked and speechless. A purple aura starts rising off Lucifer as he smiles sweetly at them, “Perhaps you’d like to explain to me exactly what happened?” “DD! …Why’d you have to tell him!?” screams Belphie before he accepts his fate and the screen goes black.

MC leaves the house to walk Diavolo and Barbatos to the street to drop them off, for which Diavolo apologises for troubling them. Barbatos says he could have ordered a car to come right up to the door of the house (Barbatos pls read the room!) and Diavolo says he doesn’t mind catching a taxi from the street. Barbatos is silent and contemplative for a moment before he says he forgot to tell Lucifer something and heads back inside (he read the room!). When they get to the street Diavolo worries cause Belphie had seemed really pissed when they left, he says when Belphie told him to keep it a secret he’d genuinely thought Belphie meant the picture they took together. He assumes Belphie told him not to tell about the ransom right after he told him not to tell about the picture but Diavolo had been so thrilled by the picture he hadn’t processed most of what Belphie said. He worries he messed up all the progress he made during the day. MC says though Belphie’s mad now he’ll get over it in time. He’s still worried that next time Belphie won’t be as willing to talk to him like he did today (he was still calling him DD though even when he was pissed so I don’t think it’ll be a problem. I hope they keep up the nickname Lucifer will hate it and that at least should be incentive for Belphie to keep using it). Diavolo says he had a lot of fun today and that he’ll never forget it. He goes on to say that growing up he lived a very sheltered life and that he’s never felt more free than he did today, though the ride was too much for him. He says even thinking about it makes his hands shake and he shows them to MC. MC can either take his hands or do nothing. If they take his hand he blushes and says it’s strange but that made him calm down. He says he wants to spend more time together and asks if they can go for a walk. MC agrees and he’s delighted by it. He says he’ll message Barbatos to let him know but that it’ll probably not be necessary since Barbatos went back to give them space anyway (You know Lucifer saw Barbatos come back alone, figured out what is happening and is now pacing a hole through the floor

They go to a park with a lake from where they can even see a ferris wheel in the distance. Diavolo asks if they think it’s the ferris wheel they rode today or a different one. He then laughs and says the human world’s really beautiful from the trees in daylight to the buildings at night. He asks if he can hold their hand and they can do that or put their arm through his. If they hold hands he says they almost look like a couple. If they do the second one he’s shocked but smiles and says they saw through him and realised what he actually wanted to do even though he wasn’t smooth enough to ask. He says his mother dies during childbirth and his father was always very strict with him, and he doesn’t know if that’s cause he was training him to be the next demon king or because he resented Diavolo’s birth for taking away the love of his life (I also HC Diavolo looking a lot like his mom. ALSO this confirms what I said earlier in one of the other lesson summaries about demons being born through biological reproduction like humans and unlike angels). He says growing up he never got a chance to talk to anyone outside the castle until he met Barbatos who told him stories of the outside world that fascinated him (this really does give the vibe that Diavolo was a child while Barbatos was an adult at the time). He liked Barbatos so much he begged him to stay with him. Barbatos had kept saying no but Diavolo had refused to give up. He’d thrown a tantrum then and said he’d refuse to be the next demon king unless Barbatos stayed with him and Barbatos had given in. Then he gets sad saying that what Belphie said today hit him, and how he always used his royal status to get others to do what he wanted. He asks if it’s possible that he’s forcing Barbatos to stay against his will. (and I get that what diavolo did was shitty but the fear he must have had for the rest of the day since Belphie said that cause he thought Barbatos will leave too and he’ll once again be truly alone in that castle is heartbreaking). MC who spent the last two lessons with Barbatos more or less talking about Diavolo (or Solomon) reassures Diavolo that Barbatos is staying cause he wants to. Diavolo’s happy for a bit before he becomes sad and doubtful again. He then says MC reminds him of Lucifer cause Lucifer is also constantly saying similar things to him (AND THE IMPLICATIONS!!? FIRST IT WAS THE OTHERS COMPARING LUCIFER’S FONDNESS FOR MC TO HIS FONDNESS TO DIAVOLO AND NOW IT’S THIS!!? Can I just say again: remember how the twins wanted to share MC if they ever got together with one of them? I think Lucifer x MC and Diavolo x MC make a lot more sense if it’s all three of them together. And in any case where MC doesn’t choose one of them, they get together like the LIs in The Arcana do). He asks if it’s possible that Lucifer and MC flatter him too much. He then says it can’t be fun listening to his childhood stories but that he wanted them to know about him and that he wants to know more about them too. He asks what kinda food they like. The options are sweet, spicy and sour. He likes sweet too. He asks if they like animals. Options are they love them, don’t or it depends on the animal. Look after all the time in the devildom, after two paws events, after bathing Cerberus and after the brothers all having their own vastly different animal representatives MC can’t not love all animals. Diavolo says imagining them playing with different animals is really sweet. He says he’s known them for quite some time now but there’s still so much he doesn’t know. He blushes and asks if they can do things like this more often, where they just spend time together. He then confesses and asks how they feel about him. If they say sorry he smiles and asks them not to apologize, saying that he didn’t say it to make them feel bad but that he understands. He asks if they’re in love with one of the brothers an they can say yes, no or stay silent. He smiles sadly and says he guessed. He says that even though they don’t have feelings for him it doesn’t change the fact that he still loves them. He says he still wants to get to know them more and asks if they can still meet up. He thanks them for being a part of his life. (While I still don’t think the side characters liking MC makes much sense and I still much prefer them as very close friends I like how all their confessions are very one and done. The brothers romantic plotlines with MC are still going on and there’s never a “I love you, do you love me? No? okay I still love you but I’ll back away too” moment. MC never gets the chance to reject them. But with the side characters MC rejects them, they understand that MC loves someone else, they accept the rejection really well and they go back to being friends and I really like that. It feels like it probably won’t be explored again after you reject them.)

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years

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No, It's Definitely Funny

Prompt: Can I request a second part to "Let's Call It Funny" where Bucky, Sam, Steve, and Peter unite forces to confuse and concern all the other avengers (with at least one instance where two or all of them respond to something by pretending to jump off a building?) Love you! -Auggie

Does it count as being back on my bullshit if I never left?

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: none, unless you need a warning for gen z humor

Pairings: it's still found family hours

Word Count: 2259

Peter’s gonna be honest, he may or may not have some competition for the funniest person in the Tower right now.

Because let’s look at the list here:

Traumatized? Everybody and their private jet’s worth of vintage and designer baggage needs therapy.

Queer? If you think Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, or Sam Wilson is straight, you need to tell them everything they’ve ever done to make you think they’re straight so they can stop doing it immediately.

Superhero? Yeah, okay, shush, now you’re being stupid.

Neurodivergent? Have you seen the way these men behave? Definitely the model of Perfectly Normal Person™, what on earth are you talking about, absolutely 100% Normal™.

The only things he’s still got going for him that the others don’t are high-schooler and trans. That’s not a lot when it comes to the fact that hey, two of them are from the Great Depression—let’s be honest, they’re the OGs when it comes to fatalistic humor—and they’ve all got years of practice.

Sure, Peter’s got some trauma-given raw talent, but it’s not refined by years and years of throwing yourself off of buildings and out of planes to avoid having conversations about your emotions.

The day Aunt Nat dropped all of SHIELD’s files on the Internet and Peter found out that Steve yeeted himself out of a plane—without a parachute!—to avoid Nat’s prodding about getting a date was the best day of his fucking life.

“Don’t you go stealing my moves there, kid,” Steve had scolded playfully, winking over the rim of his mug.

“Try and stop me, I dare you.”

“And this is why,” Tony had sighed, looking every bit his 79 years—“Hey!”—as he watches this interaction go down, “you have a parachute built into your suit.”

“I’ll just wear my old one, don’t worry about it.”

“That heinous thing that’s just a cut-up old hoodie and goggles? Peter, no, that thing is being held together with safety pins and hope!”

“I mean, me too, so it’s fine.”

“Peter!”

“Also, like, it’s the one I almost got crushed to death in, so it’s got the emotional trauma seasoning already.”

“Wait—“ Bucky had sat up— “you almost got crushed to death by a building? Sheesh, kid, you’re really flirting with the reaper, huh.”

“It wasn’t so bad, I had training from the years and years of carrying the weight of my sins crawling on my back.”

“At least ask Death for his number next time, he’s not returning my calls.”

“Sergeant, I swear to God—“

“Actually, Death uses they/them pronouns, I asked when I met them last weekend.”

“What the fuck did you do last weekend?”

“Really? Oh cool, well, can you get their number for me? We had a date back in ’45 that they missed.”

“Yeah, sure, no problem.”

“Tony, why are you screaming? Not keeping dates is a very serious matter.”

“Trust me, I speak from experience, Tony, it’s not a good habit to get into.”

“You should respect your elders and not scream while we’re talking to you, mister.”

“All of you shut the fuck up.”

See? On one hand, it’s great to have more partners in this venture of making Tony’s hair turn grey—he’s that age, it’s bound to happen any time soon now— “One more crack about my age, kid, I swear.” — but on the other hand, Peter is seriously losing his massive lead on funniest person in the Tower.

The other thing he’s worried about is Sam’s ability to make it so the others can’t actually worry about him.

Because—listen, Sam Wilson is a fucking national treasure and all you fuckers better acknowledge that. It’s no secret that the Captains take turns going out with the shield, all of them answer to ‘Captain America’ because that’s what they are, but no one—and Peter will never say this under threat of death because he does not need any more of the Steve Rogers’ Puppy Dog Eyes™, thank you very much—no one does it better than Sam.

And that means that Sam fucking Wilson can turn a fatalistic, self-deprecating joke into a motivational speech that doesn’t feel disingenuous or cliché at all and everyone is too busy processing the philosophical revelations they’re having to scold him for his, frankly, outstanding sense of humor.

It’s not fair and Peter can’t do it.

He tried. Once.

Didn’t go very well.

No, he’s not gonna talk about it, let’s just move on.

Sam has offered to catch him a couple of times when he gets himself a little too deep into the Mamma Spider™ or Iron Dad™ trap of feeeelings, and he gratefully scoots out of the way when Sam sits down next to him and just makes another joke.

Sam is also a fantastic role model for the brand of ‘I’m going to the store and only have twenty bucks, stop asking for your will to live back’ jokes.

“Hey, Pete!”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s go, bodega run.”

“Can we pick up some hopes and dreams, too, all of those got scribbled out in fat red Sharpie yesterday.”

“I said bodega run, not Court of Miracles run.”

“But Sam~”

“Listen, kid, if you manage to find your hopes and dreams in this bodega, keep an eye out for your childhood innocence, that might be on the next shelf over.”

“Deal.”

“Do you two need some more therapy appointments?”

“Only got fifteen bucks, man.”

“I’m literally a billionaire!”

Peter eagerly studies under this pinnacle of humor and keeps his worries to himself.

Because if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, and Peter’s sense of humor is wonderful, but he is a tad intimidated by the amount of variety the others have got going for them.

“You’re a fucking terror, Spider-ling, that’s what you are.”

“Not true! I was ‘a pleasure to have in class.’”

“Oh, is that why you’re taking ‘Little Shit’ lessons from Barnes and Rogers?”

“And Sam! Don’t forget Captain Wilson, he is an invaluable part of this team. I’m surprised at your ignorance.”

“Pete—no, that’s not—“

“I’m ashamed for you, Mr. Stark.”

“Listen here you little shit—“

Anyway…

Steve and Bucky have a habit of telling these like, really awful jokes that have Peter in stitches for half an hour. It’s not fair and he doesn’t get why they’re so funny because they aren’t, and yet here he is, laughing anyway.

It’s probably some combination of Steve’s perfected innocent face that he wears when he has to do interviews and Bucky’s habit of not giving a single solitary fuck. But they’re able to make the worst jokes with completely serious expressions and it’s not fair.

“Hey, can you guys come help me with something?”

“Sure, Peter,” Steve says instantly, bounding over with his 95-year-old Golden Retriever energy as Bucky trails behind him like a cat that’s sitting in your lap because he wants to, not because he likes you or anything, “what’s up?”

“I have a history project on WWII due tomorrow and I haven’t started it yet.”

Bucky snorts, taking a swig of coffee and sitting down on the floor. Which, same. “You got your eulogy planned?”

“Drafted, sighed, notarized, but Aunt May said no so I gotta do this.”

“Well, if Aunt May says no then I guess that’s that.”

Tony, from far away in another part of the Tower, has a sickening feeling that May Parker has once again proven that she is the most powerful parent and there’s nothing he can do about it.

“I, um,” Peter mumbles, fidgeting with his pen, “I want to be respectful of your boundaries, and if you don’t want to talk about anything then—“

Because it’s one thing for someone to make jokes about their trauma and another for someone else to go poking and prodding at it.

“Hey,” Steve interrupts softly, nudging him with his knee, “first off, thank you for saying that and we appreciate your respect, but we got you. You worry about enough, sweetheart, let us take care of ourselves.”

Peter gives him a look.

“When it comes to this,” Steve amends, having the decency to look a little sheepish, “we’ll take care of ourselves.”

Bucky scoffs. “Uh-huh.”

“We will, Buck.”

“My therapist will be real happy to hear that.” He looks up at Peter and winks. “Besides, what good is our trauma if we don’t pin it up and display it for good grades?”

Peter huffs, the joke undercut a little by the way Bucky knocks his foot against Peter’s and Steve’s arm stretches over the couch behind him.

Peter has to resist the urge to lean his head onto Steve’s shoulder, because then Steve’s hand will come up and ruffle his hair and Peter’s eyes will droop slowly closed as he loses himself in the warmth and safety of Steve’s embrace and then Steve will lean down to press a kiss to his temple and—

Right. Homework.

“What’s it on specifically,” Bucky asks, clearly spotting the temptation on Peter’s end, “home front? Overseas? Time period?”

“Uh, it’s an analysis of total war.”

“Like, how much of the country was devoted to the war effort?”

“Yeah, basically. It’s talking about how the Nazi War Machine made their war total and how that extends to a lot of other countries, but also about the reasons why the war was fought—“

They delve into a conversation about total war, Peter pointing out how Italy’s motivation for territory keeps it from being a total war on their part, Bucky speaking to how the different dynamics worked in various countries and the fallout, Steve bringing up how much of the home front was devoted to bringing attention to the war being fought overseas. Then, of course, as is inevitable, they devolve into storytelling.

Peter’s notebook—with notes! He did his job!—is set aside as he gives in to the need to let Steve cuddle him on the couch. Come on, the man is warm and big and gives good hugs, how is he supposed to not? Bucky sprawls out on the floor, leaning back on his hands as he smiles fondly.

“You know,” he remarks casually, “I fought a Nazi in my pajamas once.”

Peter blinks sleepily. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, though how he got in my pajamas, I have no idea.”

Peter snorts. Then he giggles. Then he’s collapsing into Steve’s side, positively sobbing with laughter.

It’s not funny.

It’s really not that funny.

But here he is, fucking dying, and he doesn’t even have the wherewithal to welcome the sweet embrace of oblivion.

“Okay, note to self,” Bucky murmurs when he’s calmed down a little, wiping away tears, “sleepy spider likes corny jokes.”

“Just don’t break our baby spider, Buck, Momma Spider would kill you in cold blood.”

“Listen, if Natasha Romanoff kills me, don’t prosecute. That’s on me.”

Peter can’t do corny jokes. He really can’t. He just sounds like he’s a recording so old it’s unintelligible and it’s bad. He has a reputation to maintain here!

However, there is one sense of humor that Peter is very eager to learn and adopt, and hey, it might actually be Iron Dad™ Approved!

It’s a rookie mistake, asking Bucky Barnes for a hand, but in his defense, Peter was left unsupervised and was distracted.

“Hey, Bucky, can you give me a hand?”

“Sure thing, Peter.”

Something nudges his arm and he looks down. It’s Bucky’s metal arm, bumping up against his elbow.

It’s a cheap joke. It’s bad. It does not deserve Peter’s laughter.

He snorts anyway.

“That’s on me,” he says after a second, “you know what, that’s my fault.”

“What, is this not what you meant?”

“No, no, you’re fine.” Peter scruffs a hand through his hair. He looks down at the prosthetic again. “Well, that’s disarming.”

Now it’s Bucky’s turn to snort. “You gotta hand it to me, though, it’s a good joke.”

Oh, it’s on.

“No, no, of course, I understand. You really can’t let an opportunity like that slip through your fingers.”

Steve chokes on his next sip of coffee. “Stop making the kid shoulder the burden of making puns with you.”

Sam raises an eyebrow. “Don’t palm this off on someone else, Steve, you’re as bad as he is.”

“Oh, it’s not that bad.” Peter shrugs. “You just gotta knuckle-down and find the right one.”

“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve had to reach for puns?” Bucky hefts his arm.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and say a lot.”

“Jeez, Pete, good one.”

“What, are you not finding them humerus?”

Sam’s gone, Steve shortly after. Bucky just grins proudly at him.

Then there’s a massive thunk from behind them. Peter turns around to see Tony slamming his forehead into the counter.

“You are all going to kill me,” he mutters, glaring up at them, “all three of you.”

“Oh, come on, Mr. Stark, Captain Barnes would never hurt you.”

Tony raises a skeptical eyebrow.

“After all,” Peter grins, gesturing to Bucky who is doing a very good innocent face—he must’ve been taking notes from Steve— “look at him, he’s completely armless.”

“Peter Benjamin Parker—“

Okay, so maybe it’s not Iron Dad™ Approved.

Oh, well.

#dragonbabbles #marvel #the longest running con in the mcu is people thinking steve isnt an extra hoe #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #peter parker #tony stark #steve rogers #sam wilson #bucky barnes #fic

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shirtlesssammy · 3 years

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4x17: It's a Terrible Life

How have we not recapped this yet? Man, this one holds a special place in Boris’s heart -- even if it’s a Cas-less episode. (Natasha: I LITERALLY said the same thing.)

Then:

This is just gratuitous

Now:

Okay, by this point we know the premise of this episode. I’m just going to list all the Well Respected Man things Dean Smith does.

He wakes up at 6:00am to an iPod.

He steams his rice milk.

He wears suspenders and cufflinks.

He drives a Prius.

He turns off the hard rock for NPR.

Dean Smith is the Director of Sales and Marketing at Sandover Bridge and Iron.

He types memos in Word.

He uses a headset to talk on the phone.

He plays office mini-golf while schmoozing on said headset.

He watches Project Runway (Ok, Dean Winchester totally watches that too, lbr.)

HE EATS SALAD.

He says the word ‘vis-a-vis’.

His boss Mr. Adler is very impressed with him. Good stuff!

He works late.

He is thinking of doing the Master Cleanse.

He leaves at 5:30 (or really a couple minutes before, rebel!)

On the elevator ride out of the building, another passenger asks if he knows Dean. Dean, focused on his Blackberry, does not recognize the dude. The other dude won’t let it go and Dean tells him to “save it for the health club” before leaving.

Sam Wesson works in the Tech Support section of Sandover. He mainly tells people to turn it off and back on again. Works every time! Sam and another buddy, Ian, head for coffee. They ask Paul, another worker, if he wants to join them. He’s busy working! Okay, okay, wait one moment. Paul got caught surfing porn on company computers and he still has a job!? WOW.

Ian grabs some office pencils in the break room. (And we get a nice little intro shot from within the microwave….very nice easter egg for us second (and beyond) viewers.) He then asks Sam about the dreams he’s been having. Sam tells Ian that he dreamed that he saved a grim reaper named Tessa from demons. Ian finds that HILARIOUS.

At his clown car sized cubicle later, Sam drifts off, only to have vivid visions of murder and monsters --and Dean’s in them. He bolts awake, and looks around disconcerted.

Sam takes a walk and ends up in the same elevator as Dean again. They eye each other warily. Sam asks Dean what he thinks of ghosts. TOTALLY NORMAL ELEVATOR TALK. Dean hasn’t really given them much thought. Vampires either. Sam decides now is a good time to corner a perfect stranger and tell him about his CRAZY dreams. That’s what a journal is for, Sam! Dean dismisses this crazy man and exits the elevator.

Sam starts researching (AW BABY) the monsters he’s been dreaming about. Ian interrupts him and tells him that he got an email telling him to report to HR. He’s not too worried as he heads off to his fate. Sam then hears Paul freaking out because he just lost a whole day’s work.

Paul stays way past closing time trying to find his lost files to no avail. His breath puffs. They must turn the temp down after hours at Sandover. He heads to the breakroom, sticks a plastic fork in the door of the microwave and sticks his head in the microwave, and hits cook. GOOD STUFF.

The next day, as Paul’s body gets carted away, the entire office looks on, including Sam Wesson and Dean Smith. Dean thinks there’s something weird going on. He looks up Paul’s personnel file (um, like whoa, how did he get access to that?) and learns that he was set to retire in two weeks. Curious.

Sam is curious as well, but Ian is too busy working to engage. Dean calls Ian up to his office. Dean points out that there were just a few errors in a form he filled out yesterday. Ian is very remorseful. Dean doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal. He just wants him to fix the errors. Very un-Ian-like, Ian starts freaking out over his mistakes. Ian runs to the bathroom and Dean follows. He finds Ian staring at himself in the mirror. His breath frosts just before all the water and soap turn on. He insists Ian leave with him. Ian turns to look at Dean, and stabs himself with a pencil. GUH. Dean sees the reflection of an old man in the bathroom stall door as Ian dies. Dean calls for help.

Dean is relaying the events to the authorities when he sees Sam looking on. Later, he calls Sam to his office.

For Thirst Science:

Sam and Dean learn that they both started working at Sandover three weeks prior. (Dean! You picked a hell of a week to start the Master Cleanse!) Sam asks Dean if he saw something when Ian died. Dean doesn’t quite admit it but he saw a ghost! Sam wonders about the suicides. “What if these suicides aren't suicides? I mean, what if they're something not natural?”

Sam brings up his dreams again. “So you're telling me that your dreams are special visions and you're some kind of psychic?” Lololololol. No, OF COURSE NOT. Sam shows Dean emails that Ian and Paul got that sent them to HR on the 14th floor --the HR office is on the 7th floor. Hmm. They decide to head to the 14th floor and room 1444.

Mr. Blandface McBlanderson heads there first. It’s an old storage room. The air gets frosty, electronics buzz on. Sam and Dean rush down the hallway after hearing the man’s cries. The door is locked but Sam Fucking Wesson just busts it open. Dean is duly impressed. Sam is too.

The ghost old man attacks Sam and Dean but Dean smashes him away with a wrench (an IRON wrench).

Decompressing back at Dean’s place, Sam longs for beer. “I’m on a cleanse,” Dean explains as he gets him a water. “I got rid of all the carbs in the house.” Oh DEAN.

At the end of this cleanse you chalk a pentagram on the floor, light a black candle, and barter your soul to get rid of those last five pounds

They compliment each other on their ghost fighting prowess. Sam “Boy Wonder” Wesson briefly tells Dean about how he feels out of place in his life. That’s SO MUCH oversharing, Sam! They decide to hit the research track. Dean finds………..the GHOSTFACERS.

We montage our way through Smith & Wesson’s research, interspersed with Ghostfacer tips. A guy named Sandover turns out to be the ghost - a workaholic who lived for his company. Turns out he’ll kill for it too. They trace a number of historical deaths to Sandover employees. It turns out that the room with the ghost attack was Sandover’s office.

The Ghostfacers continue to educate Sam and Dean on the finer points of ghost hunting: SALT. IRON. GUN.

Dean absorbs this, then wonders where one might even purchase a gun. Isn’t there a waiting period? Oh, sweet summer child. This here is the United States of America and it’s far too easy to get a gun. The Ghostfacers lesson continues...

Ed: The aforementioned super-annoying Winchester douchenozzles also taught us this one other thing. You have to burn the remains.

Harry: Okay, this next part gets a little gross. Sometimes you might have to dig up the body. Sorry.

Ed: It's illegal in some states.

Harry: All states.

Ed: Possibly all states.

Smith and Wesson return to the office to search for pieces of non-cremated Sandover. Sam gets cornered by a baby-faced security guard, leaving Dean alone to continue the hunt. In Sam’s elevator, electronics start to glitch. It’s probably nothing! The guard pries open the elevator door and crawls out onto the next floor.

The elevator slips and the guard falls victim to the blood cannon. Sam adds this incident to his list of Terrible Things That Happen in Elevators.

Sam and Dean reconnect by a historical display which includes Sandover’s gloves. Those gloves seem like likely candidates for remnant DNA...and in short order the ghost proves them right. Old Man Sandover zaps in as they break the glass. They fight!

Sandover looks like he’s got the upper hand, lowering his brain-zapping fingers to Dean, when Sam lights the gloves on fire. Sandover goes up like a torch.

Smith and Wesson are amped up after the fight! Sam wants to hunt ghosts full time. Dean scoffs at this. “How would we get by? Stolen credit cards, eating diner food drenched in saturated fats, sharing a crap motel room every night...You don’t want to go fighting ghosts without any health insurance!” Wise words.

For Look at this Well-Prepared Sunshine Science:

Sam confesses that his hunting dreams featured Dean as well. “What if that’s who we really are?” Sam wonders.

Dean defends the reality of his life. HE WENT TO STANFORD. His father’s name is Bob, his mother’s name is Ellen, and his sister is Jo. Excuse me. I’m just going to….stand outside my door and HOWL MOURNFULLY about this with the local coyotes.

“We’re supposed to be someone else.” Sam tells Dean that he started at Sandover because he broke up with Madison - but now her number leads to an animal hospital. (I swear to god, I’m gonna chew off my own arm at this show.) Sam says that Dean’s more than just a corporate suit. Dean shoos Sam from his office.

The next morning, Sam’s back at the daily grind. He steps back from his phone and then swings a crowbar at it, Office Space style.

Upstairs, Zachariah smarms his way into Dean’s office and clucks that he looks tired. He’s heard good things about Dean and offers him a generous bonus.

Zachariah hints that a big promotion could happen in 8-10 short years of constant work and sacrifice. The joy in Dean’s eyes fades. Dean turns it down and tells Zachariah that he plans to quit. “I have some other work I have to do,” Dean tells him. “This - it’s not who I’m supposed to be.” Zachariah smiles and zaps Dean’s brain. The camera desaturates.

“My god am I hungry,” a confused Dean observes as Zachariah chuckles. (Stop reading Goop, Dean! Get off that cleanse!) Zachariah explains that he’s Castiel’s boss, and he’s on Earth to ensure that the Winchesters fulfill their destiny - as hunters!

“You’re a hunter,” Zachariah explains. It’s in Dean’s blood. (I hiss at this.) And if Dean works hard enough, he’ll do everything he’s “destined to do. All of it.” GUH. Zachariah urges Dean to embrace his life. It could be worse, after all!

Semi-quote Kinda Life, Baby:

Good stuff

Did you try turning it off and then on?

Look, man, I don't know you, okay? But I'm gonna do a public service and let you know that you overshare

How the hell did you know that ghosts are scared of wrenches?

I don’t believe in destiny. I believe in dealing with what’s right in front of us

Most folks live and die without moving anything more than the dirt it takes to bury them. You get to change things

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #dean winchester #sam winchester #spn 4x17 #It's A Terrible Life #zachariah #supernatural season 4

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shimmershae · 3 years

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My thoughts on Episode 8--For Blood

As always, placed behind a cut for those of you that would rather escape my babbling, lol. You’re welcome.

Sadly, I don’t think this is anticipation I feel. I’m pretty sure it’s dread but okay. Here we go.

This episode has to go up from the rock bottom boredom of last week, right?

Let me preface what I’m about to say with the truth that I in no way hate Maggie. She’s been with us since Season 2 and I have an emotional attachment to her, mostly due to my love of Glenn and the way he loved her. She’s not my favorite by any means, but the fact of the matter is, I do like and appreciate her and don’t mind that she is back because it’s nice to have old familiar faces with us to take us into the final season. That said? Forcing Maggie front and center after her long absence ultimately, IMHO, has not worked in these first 8 episodes. I can’t help but feel if ASZ had been the A story with Maggie/Negan and Daryl/Leah/the Reapers the B1 and B2 story? These episodes would have been better received overall and not feel so much like they’re trying so hard. Maybe lead me toward the water instead of shoving my head in it next time, Angela? Hmm?

Oh goodie. They’re opening at Meridian. Should I get my bathroom break out of the way now or give myself an out for later? Call it Shae’s choice, lol.

That flicker of a smirk Leah gave to Carver after their mini walk down memory lane had more spark to it than the entirety of her and Daryl’s toxic relationship. In the future, maybe Angela will lean all in on them instead of Leah and Daryl. Something tells me Leah knows this “brother” biblically.

Daryl recognizes Whisperer moves when he sees ‘em. Somehow, he realizes Maggie and Negan have banded together however reluctantly.

Pope doing it “Dixon’s” way but not allowing Dixon to do the actual thing shows the level of distrust and paranoia the man still haves for outsiders.

Look at Daryl chewing his lips with worry for his people. If he and Leah know each other even a little bit, she has to recognize that as one of his tells.

Ooohhhh. Who took the first stab at Wells? Maggie? Negan? Father G? I swear. I took my eyes off the “ball” one second and the whole damn play is halfway down the field. Sorry. If you cannot tell, I watched football with the fam yesterday, lol.

The Walking Dead logo didn’t crumble this time. Interesting. Parts of it looked like it had been rebuilt. With brick. Wood. Other parts of it looked reclaimed by nature. Call me crazy, but that almost looks like an eye/part of a face on the first D.

Okay then. Babbling nonsense about the logo over, lol. Tell me. Please. Anybody. How do the events at ASZ line up with the events at Meridian? Because it’s night and full-blown storming in ASZ and still daylight at Meridian. But hey. Thank fuck we’re in ASZ.

All the babies huddled together giving me feels. Sorry. I know some feel they have no place on the show, but I personally enjoy their inclusion from time to time. It usually plucks hard at my heartstrings.

Connie tenderly comforting an injured Virgil is sweet, not gonna lie.

Aww. Is that Hershel petting a scared RJ’s hair? Unless it’s a case of me not being able to pick out and place all the little hands, which it most certainly could be, I’m thinking Judith’s got her hand on her knee and that’s Hershel’s hand in RJ’s hair. Regardless of whose hand is where, it was a sweet little scene. What can I say? I’m easy because Baby Glenn and Baby Rick, ya’ll.

Oh snap. The windmill’s on fire and pieces of the wall are blowing down main street ASZ like steel tumbleweeds, lol.

Anybody else having flashbacks to the barn from Season 5? Good times. We still had most of Team Family with us then. They were in a bad place, hurting and lost and just trying to survive--when are they not just trying to survive?--but they were together. I miss them.

Carol and Lydia holding each other. These two, lovelies, have my whole heart.

Wells is Walker Jerky, Shaw. Stop wasting your breath.

“She did. My enemy.” I mean, are we supposed to get the impression Maggie’s been a formidable adversary to Pope? Because she feels more like a roach that simply knows the best rocks to hide under. Granted, roaches are hard to kill but still. I’m gonna need them to give us something better than Maggie being Pope’s enemy simply because she didn’t want to give up her home without a fight because this is frankly unbelievable and bordering on stupid.

Alright. So they’ve obviously been sowing the seeds of distrust and defiance between Leah and Pope because she doesn’t like losing family but Daryl? Man? You and Leah have differing opinions about how family operates. Trust me on this.

So. Three teams, huh? Aaron fighting the windmill fire, Carol repairing the breach in the wall, Rosita protecting the babies that represent their future. Choose your fighters, lol. Seriously, though. Why do I have the sinking feeling only one group is going to be shown actually doing their thing?

Listen. Am I pissed we haven’t gotten the scene we deserve yet between Carol and Connie after all that’s happened and we’re getting crumbs mainly because Angela wrongly feels the Reapers/Maggie & Negan/Daryl & Leah need more focus? Absolutely. You bet your sweet asses. But Melissa fucking McBride just took the crumbs allotted her and made a magnificent, work of art cake out of it trying all on her lonesome to feed us starving Carol fans.

Bless Connie wanting wanting to go with Carol. What a show of trust and sister-like solidarity that must have some hate-rotted guts about to turn themselves out.

I love Kelly and Connie’s sister bond. No ill will intended, but It takes the good parts of Maggie and Beth and elevates it beyond anything those two ever showed us. I really feel like that’s a testament to Angel and Lauren’s real life ease with each other.

Magna choosing to go with Aaron makes me wonder if it’s possible she feels some kind of residual guilt over Connie. Not guilt for anything she’s actually done, but simply guilt over making it out.

Virgil volunteering to help. Okay. Damn. I’m honestly starting to like the guy.

Judith offering to go with her aunt Carol had me all up in my feels. I mean, granted. It was a blink and you miss it scene. We really deserved a longer heart to heart between that little girl and the woman that’s sacrificed so much to keep her safe and loved her for so long, but you know I’ll gobble any and all Judith/Aunt Carol content up. Seems to me, Little Ass Kicker is just as afraid of letting Aunt Carol out of her sight as Uncle Daryl. My heart.

Gracie and Aaron are sweet. And honestly? I find them more realistic and true to what normal parents and children would be like in a ZA than Judith and Michonne no matter how much I love that bond. I mean no disrespect, but I really do.

“Why am I keeping you around?” Pope asking the question we’re all wondering.

Not Apocalypse Popeye comparing Daryl to a stray dog. Joe from the Claimers already declared Daryl an outside cat that thought he was an indoor cat. I did have to internally cheer when Daryl was like “I’m ain’t gonna lick it” talking about the helping hand Pope had extended him.

“Somehow she has turned the dead against the living. Oh, that’s impressive.” The thing about Pope respecting Maggie so much as an enemy is I just find it hard to buy, lol. Like if this had been Carol, yeah. But Maggie? Nope. They’ve mostly shown her (with Gage being the bewildering exception) to be all bark and no bite.

Has the house in ASZ really become that dilapidated that they can see through its walls? Because its original owners dodged a bullet if so.

Look at Grace hero-worshipping Judith. It’s sweet.

Virgil telling Judith Michonne would be proud of her is nice but doesn’t feel as earned as if someone like Daryl or Carol that actually knew Michonne well said it. But maybe that’s the whole point--Judith needs to hear it from someone she knows isn’t going to just say what she wants to hear.

Call me jaded, it was a touching scene, but also? It felt designed to allow Judith to move beyond her very normal and realistic feelings of being abandoned by Michonne, even though she gave her the “okay” herself. Like she’s still a kid. Wants don’t always line up with feelings. Anyway. Cailey continues to be a bright, shining little star and I love how she’s managed to make Judith a true amalgamation of all the people she’s loved who have loved her in return. Not just Michonne. I know people like to overlook and cheapen the fact, but it’s taken a village and entire family to raise her from infancy.

Gracie really should have known better than play in front of the windows during a storm period, but oh well. Plot point, lol.

Seriously, though. I feel like they’ve teased poor Gracie’s demise in a multitude of ways since the beginning of the season. I hope nothing ultimately comes of it but I fear it will. All I can say if the worst comes to happen is poor Aaron.

Where are Negan and Elijah though? Ouch. There they are, taking on shrapnel for the cause.

Ready the what now?

There’s ASZ’s Baby Sitter Extraordinaire! Barbara, is it? That lady’s been putting in the work since Season 5 at least.

I’ve honestly grown to love Rosita. More of her and less of Maggie, please and thank you.

“Let’s stay away from the windows.” I’m sorry but I had to LMAO at that. Still a badass moment though.

Gabe hobbling toward his assigned sentinel. At least they haven’t forgotten he’s injured like they seemed to forget Daryl was near death last season before the attack on Hilltop, lol.

“It’s hard to watch something you care about change.” Listen, Leah. Chick. You and Daryl obviously never really knew each other. It’s always been obvious but I have a feeling “DIxon” is finally going to show you, spoilers or no spoilers.

WTF are they calling that thing? Sorry. I have just as hard a time understanding Pope’s accent as I do Maggie’s sometimes.

That’s not love that has Daryl telling Leah she can come with him. That’s care for somebody he used to know. There is a distinct difference that’s obviously lost on so many. How can you really and truly love someone you cannot trust? Especially in Daryl Dixon’s case?

Why does Angela hate us so much? Giving us all these Reaper scenes and leaving us to simply imagine Carol and Connie and Kelly working side by side to save the wall?

I think I honestly could have enjoyed this whole Reaper storyline more, at least a little bit anyway, had they not retrofitted a half-assed romance between Daryl and the story’s weakest link and if only they’d made it the B storyline and given earned deference to the goings-on in ASZ instead.

I wonder if Glenn taught Maggie how to hot write a car? I miss my baby Glenn.

Apocalypse Popeye is several fries short of a Happy Meal. What else is new on this show, lol?

I care for Maggie. Mostly for nostalgia’s sake and Glenn and Baby Hershel but damn, man. She’s not actually proven herself got be worth killing your entire “family” for. But are too far gone, so. We’ll make allowances.

I will say at least this episode is not as abysmally biring as last week’s episode.

Leah finally giving Pope the throat punch he’s been asking for but I’m not fooled she’s on Daryl’s side here. She’s always been on her own side.

Look at Father G returning the favor for Maggie saving him in the tower. Taking Deaver down! Poor Deaver barely saw the light of day.

Here comes that woman scorned part. I can feel it.

“Pope is dead. Dixon murdered him. He’s with the enemy.”

Please, Angela. I’m begging you. Bring Carol into this story and ramp it the fuck up. You been idling too damn long and the car is fast running outta gas.

Bitch really has to die to framing Carol’s Pookie.

Rosita and Lydia and Carol and Connie and Kelly and Magna have literally been holding up this damn show while Angela farts around with the Reapers bullshit. Honorable mention goes to Aaron but these lovely, badass ladies been putting in the real work and not getting any of the glory. You just know they’re tired AF.

Not my babies Lydia and Judith being the cliffhanger! Oh and Gracie. Angela?! A word.

Listen. Carol’s already done that fireworks trick. That Reaper dude owes her royalties. Granted, it was on a smaller scale but much more impressive for it because she was left to be the sharpshooter.

Angela has a point. It is kind of cool how Team Family have learned from their enemies and assimilated their useful points into their own cache of knowledge.

I truly feel like the Leah/Reaper storyline would have benefitted from a much stronger actress. Just saying.

I know Judith annoys some with her precociousness but Cailey just keeps teeing off on what they give her and personally? I feel she’s so very talented and light years beyond her little acting counterparts so it still works.

“They’re never gonna choose each other over the people that they’ve loved and fought for because they simply cannot really trust each other. There’s sort of, like a toxicity at the base of that relationship.” Straight from Angela’s mouth.

“At the end of the day, Daryl chose his family.” Yeah, he did. That “I belong with you” shit only happened when he felt they were all gone, including the one he loved above all others--Carol. Fight me.

Overall impression of the episode?

On its own, disregarding how much I can’t help resenting how much time I feel has been “wasted” setting this story up, it was much more entertaining than Episode 7 which was only epic in that it was an epic bore. There was still too much focus on the Reapers when I just just kept wanting to see what was happening at ASZ. I mean, they cheated us out of Carol and Connie and Kelly working together. Of Aaron and Magna. Call it personal preference coloring my opinions if you want, but the characters I care about feel like they’ve been shown the backseat for this self-indulgent exploration of Angela’s OC and her version of self-insert FF with Daryl Dixon. If we can return to Team Family? The whole Team Family and not just Maggie and Co. against the world? You’ve got me. If not? Well. You’ll keep losing me by degrees and you don’t want to do that on the final season.

Anyway. The ASZ parts were my favorites per usual. The episode could have used a lot more of those.

#The Walking Dead #Season 11 #TWD spoilers #things that make me smile and cry #for reasons

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fanaticfangirl001 · 3 years

Text

The Outsider Ch 2: Reality Check

Tom Hiddleston x OFC

Summary: Enid Miller, an artist and member of Taylor Swifts’ girl squad begins to feel conflicted about her friends, life, and romance, prior to the infamous Fourth of July party. To get new inspiration and stay out of drama she moves to London and is rope into a whole lot more when she bites the bullet and goes out on the town one night.

Warnings: swearing,

Author’s note:

Enid sits on the side of her bed staring into her dresser. Are the girls right? Am I too weird, too much, she thinks. Sighing, Enid pulls out her laptop and begins looking for flats in Belsize Park. She remembered the place from one of Tom’s stories about a bakery near his home. Like she told Tom, Taylor is lucky to have him. A literally Disney-esque prince. Maybe she should start dating again. The last four guys were awful as Taylor was the first person to tell Enid the truth about them.

“Hey, Ennie, are you..” Tom opens the door.

Enid looks up from her laptop and does a double take at a shirtless semi-stressed Tom at her door.

“Hello.”

“Hi,can I borrow a shirt?” Tom asks.

“I uh, sure.” Enid closes the laptop and opens her dresser searching for the right shirt. “ So what happened?”

“It’s embarrassing, I spilled gelato on my shirt and I want to take Taylor for a romantic walk on the beach.” Tom admits.

“Ah.” Enid holds up a top to Tom’s frame, sneaking a peek at his physique. His torso looks as though carved from marble. She had never seen a better built man than Michaleangelo’s David but here he stands in front of her in need. “Here.” She hands him the I heart TS shirt.

“Enid.” Tom scoffs.

“It’s cute, and it’s the only thing I’m risking to your gelato obsession unless you want to wear a crop top.” Enid sits back down on the bed.

“So how are you spending the evening?” Tom asks, throwing the shirt over his head and down covering his torso.

“Um, drawing and finding a place to live in Belsize Park.”

“When we get back, show me what you’ve found. I want to help.”

“Thanks Tom.”

“A friend of Taylor is a friend of mine.”

“You’re very sweet, now go take Taylor out.” Enid opens the door for him.

Once Tom leaves, Enid flops down on her bed. Maybe Tom has a single friend in London, an artsy type, not stuffy, supportive, she thinks. The biggest factor being that the single friend likes her, personality and body. Once thing that no guy has ever done. She shakes that thought out of her head and goes back to house listings. Two bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom, and a living area sounds nice, with an open layout and a few windows. Not too small, not too big.

“Hey Emma.” Mikenna opens the door.

Enid sighs, Mikenna is the most evil and shortest of the girl squad. A supermodel who relies on her father to get gigs. Although she isn’t the only one in the group talking behind Enid’s back she’s the ringleader. Below her are: Chelsea, Mandy, and Kelsie. All of these girls hate Enid and have since they met her at Taylor’s housewarming party.

“It’s Enid, and you know that.” Enid looks up from her listings. She starts a voice memo on her phone to show Taylor later.

“Anyway.” Mikenna sits down on the bed.

“What is it? You don’t normally talk to me.”

“The girls and I have been talking…” Mikenna trails off.

“You always are.” Enid sighs and closes the laptop.

“Rude, anyways, we think you’re too close with Tom.”

“Mikenna, I live with Taylor. I think I should get to know her boyfriend.”

“And we get that. But just to let you know, guys like him don’t…” Mikenna sighs, acting sad.

“Guys like him, the British?” Enid laughs.

“No, we mean attractive. Attractive men don’t date girls like you.”

“Girls like me? Artists?”

“No.Ugly. Fat. Worthless.”

“Mikenna, you’re a supermodel right?” Enid asks.

“Yes, what does that have to do with anything?”

“Supermodels need pretty faces,right?”

“Yeah, you couldn’t be one.”

“If you want to keep that pretty face of yours, get out.” Enid growls opening the door. She stops the voice memo recording.

Enid in a fit of rage and sadness, emails the realtor and makes an offer on the house. She’ll be out of Taylor’s hair and out of this terrible friend group.

Enid wakes up when she hears the remnants of girls coming home after a long night out on the town. She grabs her phone and diary, ready for the confrontation.

“Oh Enid, did we wake you?” Taylor asks when Enid comes flying out of her room.

“ No, I was just thinking about that old quote: Looks can be deceiving.” Enid puts her phone on the table.

“Why?” Taylor asks, confused.

“Well, I have had the experience in this group and I’m moving out so this might be the only chance I can say my peace.” Enid smiles wide.

“She’s lying.” Mikenna says.

“Enid hasn’t said anything yet.”

“Oh I’m not going to say anything, Mikenna is. Or more accurately Mikenna did say something to me, earlier.” Enid starts to play the voice memo on her phone.

“Ugly, fat, worthless.” The phone says.

“And that’s not all, Chelsea said I should take up doodle journaling so I did. I put every mean thing these bitches have said to me since the beginning.” Enid tosses the notebook onto the counter and walks off back to her room, as the girls begin blaming each other and bickering.

Taylor follows her.

“Hey Enid.” She softly knocks at the door.

Enid opens it, “ What?”

“I’m sorry, and I’ll help you move. If that’s what you want.”

“It is.”

“Can I ask why?”

“I want to be independent, most people just know me as the influencer who lives with Taylor.”

“I’m getting you a plant for your house warming.”

“You know I’m the plant Grim Reaper.”

“I just want you to actually see outside.”

“Fine. I’ll go on walks every day, and enjoy nature. Who knows, I might sit at a park and draw.”

“Also, put yourself out there. I’m sure you’ll find a prince or some artist who can not kill plants.”

#Tom Hiddleston x plus size OC #Tom Hiddleston imagines

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myblueeyedbuggers · 3 years

Text

My Boys

Chapter 7

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14

Pairings: Reader x Steve Rogers (best friend) Reader x Bucky Barnes

Word Count: 1780

Warnings: Slow Start, Language, Tiny bit of Fluff

Summary: After being abandoned by her parents in Brooklyn in 1929, y/n makes a living for herself by working for the Црни лабуд gang until she meets two boys in a back alley and her life slowing begins to change

Hi again, so yesterday definitely didn’t go plan at all, I was caught up in way too much work and by the time I’d finished it all it was 4 in the morning and I had to get up at 6 for college. My apologies for the lack of a chapter yesterday, hopefully this was worth the wait though :) Enjoy Everyone!

Readers POV

It was sometime in the early morning when Becca same flying into my room, I could feel my mood change from one of complete and utter boredom to one of happiness, I swear down this little girl could manage to make the grim reaper smile. Her black hair bounced behind her as she hurried to climb up the bed, instantly crushing me with a tight hug, “Y/n! I missed you so much! I’m sorry for not coming sooner but Mama and Papa said you needed more time to rest” her bright eyes glossed over as she rushed out her apology.

I actually felt my heart clench at her words, which to be honest was a bit concerning, her little face scrunched up into a frown and I instantly pulled her into a hug, “Sweetie there’s nothing you need to say sorry for, if anything I should be saying sorry for leaving you for so long with those silly boys! I can’t imagine how bad they must have smelled! Oh, my lord I’m feeling faint even thinkin’ about it!”. Instantly the frown on her little face vanished, her giggles echoed in my ear as she fell backwards onto the bed clutching her stomach, my smile was almost wide as Bucky’s ego. Almost.

Once she’d managed to calm down enough, Becca crawled back up the bed and climbed under the covers before cuddling up next to me, my arm instantly wound around the younger girl as I placed a small kiss on her hair and in that moment, I felt at ease, finally complete as the little girl cuddled further into my side.

Mrs Barnes POV (Surprise!)

A gentle smile spread across my face as I watched my girls, both excitedly chatting back and forth about their favourite things, the half-completed scarf forgotten to me as my mind wandered to the talk George and myself had last night. Both of us agreed that we would never be able to pay y/n back for protecting our boys, but we both noticed one particular trait about her, she tended to protect everyone but herself. It was almost as if she valued everyone else’s life above her own, it made me worry about what she’s had to have gone through to value herself at such a low rate, maybe it’s my motherly side coming out but there’s this constant urge to protect her. The knowledge of her not having a family weighed heavily on both my soul and my heart, even thinking about it broke my heart, and that’s when George and I made our decision. We wanted her to be apart of our family, protect her in the same way she tried to protect both our family and our boys, after everything the poor girls been through it’s the very least we could do.

After a while I noticed the room was unusually silent, my head turned towards the girls and my eyes were met with a sight that made me want to weep with joy, both of them had fallen asleep, Y/n’s arms were wound around Becca protectively as the younger girl cuddled closer to y/n’s side. I kept my gaze on the girls, committing the moment to my memory as my heart swelled with delight, a wide smile played on my lips as I picked up the scarf started to work on it determined to give y/n a welcoming gift.

Time Skip

Steve’s POV

“Yeah sure Buck, like I actually believe that!” Bucky was goin’ on about he fought off 10 guys at once in school today, the way he was tellin’ it had me in stiches as he claimed he “knocked em down with the strength of the devil” before finishing the fight with fireworks goin’ off behind him. “I’m bein’ serious Stevie! You shoulda seen their faces when I pulled out my sword and started chasing em…how much of this you belivin’?” he finally stopped his rambling when he glanced at my face, completely blank as I looked at him with my eyebrows raised.

Seconds of silence passed, “You can’t letta a guy be dramatic for one second?!”, I’ll admit I didn’t expect him to fall to the floor and start waving his arms and legs about while cryin’ about me bein’ a spoil sport, but I’d be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t funny. I was doubled over with laughter, nearly crying as I joined Buck on the floor, the pair of us struggling to breath from laughing so hard.

The sound of a door opening along with an exasperated sigh made us both shut up immediately, glancing up I was met with the sight of Mama Barnes, a small smile on her face as she looked at the both of us expectedly, waitin’ for us to get off the floor. “Normally I would ask both of you what on the name of earth you were doin’ on the floor, but I’ve seen you do some stupider things so at this point I’m not surprised”. Buck shared a look with me before facing his mama, a sheepish grin on his face as he tried to explain why we were acting dumb, Mama just shook her head at us and ushered us inside y/n’s room, tellin’ us to keep quiet.

3rd Person POV

Both boys entered the room, softly shutting the door behind them as they turned around, neither expecting to see the sight before them, Bucky and Steve’s younger sister was curled up next to y/n, both girls had a relaxed, peaceful expression on their faces. The blankets were wrapped around them both, the younger of the two using the older girls chest as a pillow shifting slightly as the older pulled her closer to her side, unconsciously wrapping both the blanket and her arms around her in a bid to keep her warm.

Soft smiles graced the lips of both boys, watching the two girls as they slept peacefully, the blonde-haired boy noticing the older girl shiver a tiny bit from the change in temperature, as quietly as possible he made his way towards them. Carefully, he unwrapped a small part of the blanket from the younger girl and repositioned it over the two of them equally, tucking the edges into the bed frame before glancing behind him at his friend.

The boy with the brown hair hadn’t moved an inch, his entire body refusing to move in case the sight in front of him suddenly disappeared. His blue eyes never left the face of the older girl, taking in her immense beauty was enough to stun him for hours, his gaze roamed over her face in a leisurely way, absorbing how perfect she looked when sleeping. Any attempt to gain his attention failed, his mind too clouded with the image of her, a soft warm feeling settled in his heart, growing stronger with every second he stared at her.

Once the blonde-haired boy realised that he wasn’t gaining the attention of his friend anytime soon, he followed his friends line of sight, letting out a small chuckle as he turned his head towards the boy’s mother, sharing a small knowing smile as she watched her son from the corner of her eye.

Time Skip

Readers POV

The veil of sleep slowly cleared from my mind, hushed voices grabbed my attention as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, my eyes made contact with Mr and Mrs Barnes, the sound of the lads doing somethin’ stupid filled the background. Both of the parents smiled at me, I wanted to sit up but Becca was still asleep, and I couldn’t find it in my heart to disturb her from sleep, “Y/n, sweetheart, the doctor came in while you girls were sleeping, he said that you’ll be able to leave tomorrow after a few more check ups and tests, and we wanted to ask you somethin’.” I felt my head tilt to the side in confusion, maybe it was about the medical bills, I mean a stunt like this couldn’t have been cheap…

“Sweetie, we were wondering if you’d like to join our family, there is nothing in this world we could offer or do to thank you for protecting our family, so we only ask that you let us return the favour and protect you.”

I could feel my jaw drop to the floor, my eyes watered with tears as I nodded my head frantically and pulled them both into a hug, crying into Mrs Barnes’s chest while thanking her over and over again. The bed dipped even more as two more pairs of arms joined the hug, the hole in my soul left as I came to the realisation that I finally had a family to call my own, a sudden shout of excitement broke us all out of the hug as Becca tackled my side, knocking me flat out on my back.

“I FINALLY HAVE A SISTER! YAY! MAMA I HAVE A SISTER!” Becca’s joyful cries made us all laugh, quickly clambering off me she started running ‘round the room, only stoppin’ to do the odd celebration dance. A tap on shoulder distracted me from Becca’s antics, “So how’s it feels to be apart of the Barnes Clan?” Steve’s face met mine with a joyful smile, I not so subtly rolled my eyes at him before bumping my shoulder with his, “Thought I joined the clan the minute your friend over there carried my ass to the front door”.

Steve let out a small snicker as Bucky’s head shot up as he playfully glared at the pair of us, choosing to make his way over while his parents were distracted with Becca, “What was that Doll? From what I remembered I oh so bravely carried you to my home while you pelted with punches and cute little threats” excuse me, CUTE ?! there is nothing cute about me threatening to rip your soul outta your body Barnes!

A cocky smirk appeared on his lips as I narrowed my eyes at him, “you do realise that you’re now stuck with me now Barnes? If I was you I’d be sleeping with one eye open” outta the corner of my eye I saw Steve bring a hand up to his face and cover it while shaking his head, since when did that bugger get sassy?! Instead of taking my threat seriously, Bucky smiles as his puts his arm around me with a shit-eating grin on his face, “You know you love me doll, heck how could ya not look at this face!” now it was my turn to facepalm.

What the hell did I just agree to?!

Things have finally started looking up for the reader! Thanks for Reading :)

Rose xx

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