#I convinced myself I needed dead kids but you know what is better than dead kids? dead parents!
Note
Digital Circus with a Mime Reader, who CAN speak but prefers to use sign language and gestures: they find find Kaufmo in the middle of abstracting and try to calm him down (against their better judgement). It doesn't go well, ending with them locking and closing Kaufmo's door, and running to find Caine... Only to hear the theme song suddenly stop and Jax say something about a "new character" as they approach...
Ough finally some Kaufmo angst-
........
Approaching Kaufmo's door, you stopped in front of it and politely knocked, wanting to check up on him before Caine could summon everybody to perform the Digital Circus' "theme song" musical number.
As of late, your fellow clown hasn't been feeling up to snuff, since apparently nobody was laughing at his jokes anymore...
Although said jokes have all mentioned something about an exit--a way out of the digital realm you've grown quite comfortable living in. But even when he is dead serious, the others are convinced he's only kidding around, pretending to laugh and sometimes asking him if he could joke about something else.
Least to say...it grew frustrating for him.
The only reason he hadn't totally lost it yet was because of you, a mime who has lived in the circus for the past five months and befriended him quickly. Together you've put on many acts: with his wacky props and your invisible techniques, your shows were amusing to all.
That being said, you didn't want your longtime partner to think about any exits too much, as you've lost several friends in the past when they started talking about the same thing.
It happened to Queener, Kinger's beloved wife, and the poor chess piece has been on the brink of abstraction ever since (honestly, it's a miracle he didn't immediately follow her).
Fortunately, he remained stable enough to be around everyone.
As for Kaufmo?
He didn't look so good last night at dinner, and you haven't seen him all morning. Normally he'd be up and about, juggling random things as he walked or approaching you to brainstorm new acts to perform.
Him locking himself away in his room was not normal.
Especially when he knew this musical number was super important to Caine.
After waiting a minute or two, you perked up as he finally answered the door.
At first you smiled in greeting, although that was quick to fade when he only kept it open just a crack--enough for you to barely see his face...
Which bore a terrified expression underneath his runny makeup, making his frown look worse than it actually is. His hat was nowhere to be found, either.
''Are you okay, Kaufmo?" You signed, eyebrows furrowed in worry.
That was your usual way of talking, despite knowing you could very well speak freely. You had no clue if you were proficient in sign language before entering this circus, but regardless it always came in handy, and everybody did their best to communicate with you that way (or at least those with fingers, unlike Zooble or Gangle).
Since your performances usually involved silence and expressive gestures, you didn't see a need to talk often--and that was usually fine with Kaufmo, who'd always chatter with you in sign language right back.
But when he attempted to respond, you swore you both saw his own hands glitching, before he quickly retracted them, clearly frightened.
You, on the other hand, wanted to believe it was just a "digital hallucination".
That's all it was...right?
"I-I'm sorry, [y/n]..haven't been..feeling like myself-f-f lately.." Even his own voice was betraying him, as it sounded distorted, lagging as though he was a slow computer program. "But you believe me, don't you?"
"Believe what?"
"The...the exit, of course! The thing I've been talking about this whole time!! It's real! There IS a way out!! I-I can show you!!"
You blinked, before shaking your head. "Kaufmo, let me in."
"Oh no, I think that's a bad id--wait! Wait!!" Despite his pleas for you to stop, you forced your way into his room, shutting the door behind you so nobody else could intrude or eavesdrop.
The last thing you needed was Caine listening in.
Yet after taking a look around at the state of his quarters--with everything being a complete mess and the word "EXIT" scrawled onto every square inch of the ceiling and walls--you were nothing short of terrified for his mental well-being.
'My god....what has he done..?' You thought to yourself, mortified.
"No, no, no, no!!"
Looking back at Kaufmo, you saw him back up against the wall, holding his face as black glitchy polygons started appearing on his body. He gasped in horror, looking at his hands...and then up at you.
"What's..h-happening to me-e-e?"
Your heart sunk, knowing exactly what was going on.
"You're abstracting.." You whispered, your voice small yet shaken.
"I-I didn't...think I'd be next...it hurts so much! Christ-!!!" He began crying, his makeup oozing as he stared at you with empty, soulless black eyes. One of his arms was already taken over by the glitches, morphing into a large one covered in jagged polygons.
"Make it stop..MAKE IT STOP!!!" He screamed, slumping to the floor.
You were frozen in a state of panic, unsure if you should go get Caine or stay here and try to pull him out of his abstraction.
Either way, you had to do something fast...lest you lose him forever or become infected yourself.
"Just focus on me, pal. I'm here. I'm here." Kneeling down, you grasped his non-glitching hand tightly with both of yours, attempting to guide him through a breathing exercise.
"You'll get through this." You mouthed, but he just shook his head, noticing a single glowing eye forming on the surface of the glitchy flesh.
"Wh-Whatever you do...don't tell Caine, I beg you-u.." He pleaded. "He'll lock me away...a-and I'll be all alone in the dark..I don't wanna be alone.."
Tears welled up in your eyes as you shook your head, and he gazed at you in confusion. "What do you mean "no"? You'd let him throw me into the cellar with the rest of them...?" He started to grow angrier, feeling betrayed. "I thought we were partners!"
"We are partners, Kaufmo. Always will be." You sighed, wishing there was another way to stop this from happening. "But there's nothing more I can do...he needs to know-"
"Fine...maybe things will be better if I'm not around to tell my stupid jokes anymore."
"Kaufmo-"
"Go....run, [y/n]...run-n-n-nnNNNN------"
Immediately after he said that, you let him go right as his other hand quickly became overtaken by the abstraction, almost taking you with it.
You got up and took a step backwards, watching in mute terror as he rapidly grew in size, turning into a massive amalgamation of glitch black polygons. Even more glowy-trippy eyes were popping up in different places, looking in every direction.
Within seconds, Kaufmo no longer resembled the clown you once knew (or a person, in general)....but was instead replaced by a horrific digital beast with a long neck, standing on four legs.
You gulped as every single eye on his body suddenly shifted to stare directly down at you.
'Uh-oh-'
You hastily created an invisible wall just as he lunged at you with a ferocious roar, slamming right into the illusion like a bird smacking into a glass pane.
'He still falls for the oldest trick in the book..oh Kaufmo..'
Although it pained your heart to abandon him like this, he was too far gone to be saved. He didn't even recognize you anymore.
The only thing you could do now was get Caine before he harmed you or anybody else--even if it means you never saw him again. He could very well threaten the entire stability of this world if he got loose.
You quickly ran out of the room just before he could break through the "wall" and go after you, slamming the door shut and locking it tight.
Moments later, you heard him ram into it, the hinges damn near breaking off (but by the grace of cartoon physics, that didn't happen).
You wiped the sweat from your forehead, making a mad dash out of the dormitory section of the tent in a desperate search for Caine.
Unfortunately, you could already hear Bubble's singing in the distance as the gang's musical number routine was already starting:
"Gangle, and Zooble, and Kinger, too~!"
You ran as fast as your legs could possibly carry you. They were already aware of both of your absences, and they chose to go on with the song anyways.
'Jerks..they couldn't at least wait for me?' You huffed. 'Caine never tells us when we're doing these musical ditties-'
By the time you arrived, however, you heard the music abruptly cut out.
You stopped upon seeing your friends tumbled over each other on the floor, with Gangle's comedy mask being broken and Jax picking himself up in annoyance.
"Caine, is this one of your NPCs or is this a new sucker?"
Blinking, you glanced at the new person he was referring to, surprised to see a girl dressed as a red and blue jester.
"........."
Now you couldn't say anything to Caine.
Not right now, at least.
#clanask#anonymous#tadc x reader#the amazing digital circus x reader#tadc kaufmo#clown reader#mime reader#angst#platonic
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BACK TOGETHER
A/N: okayyyy another little steve fic bc yall really loved my prev one!
PAIRING: Steve Harrington x Reader
WORD COUNT: 1.1k
WARNING: season 4 spoiler!!!
SUMMARY: You and Steve broke up not long ago, but watching over Max in the night brings the two of you back together.
MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!
The gang is now stationed in the Wheelers’ basement once again. After what happened to Max in the cemetery you’re guarding her nonstop, there’s always someone watching her, checking that she is still listening to the music and hasn’t gone into trance again. It’s one in the morning and you’re the chosen one to keep an eye on her, but Steve has decided to join you.
It’s been a bit weird, hanging out with Steve so much even though the two of you broke up just a few weeks ago. You haven’t spoken much, but the recent happenings with Vecna brought the old gang together so now you’re forced to be around each other again. The breakup happened after a stupid, but pretty intense fight you had, it started because you’ve had enough of Steve always hanging out with Robin and even though you know Robin is playing on a different team, it’s still pretty annoying when you can’t make plans with your boyfriend because he already has something going on with Robin.
He accused you of being jealous for no reason and you told him he is a child and it ended with a screaming match and the two of you parted ways after breaking up. One year of relationship ended in such a ridiculous way, you almost kind of feel embarrassed.
“You’re not hearing any clock dinging, right?” Steve asks, breaking the silence since everyone around you is asleep.
“Wait, you don’t hear it?” you ask with a dead serious face and watch as his expression falls completely. “I’m just kidding,” you add quickly.
“It’s not funny, Y/N, not after what happened to Max!” he tells you off, but you still find it a bit comical. He should know you well enough to know you’d have already told them if Vecna was after you.
“Sorry, just trying to stay awake,” you yawn, taking a glance at Max who is seemingly still perfectly fine.
“Go to sleep, I can take over your shift,” he offers.
“No need to play the hero, Steve.”
“I’m not… I’m just trying to be nice,” he rolls his eyes.
“We’re not together anymore, so you don’t have to go out of your way to be nice to me, though you didn’t quite do it before either.”
Your comment comes out a bit spicier than you intended, but you also think it’s true. It’s too late to act nice now, he should have cared about you when you expected it from him.
“Y/N, maybe we should talk about that,” he sighs, running a hand through his ridiculously good hair. How does he look this good even in the middle of what feels like another apocalypse?
“About what exactly? That we broke up or that you said I was jealous or that you spent more time with Robin than your own girlfriend?”
“God, I almost forgot how hot you are when you give me an attitude.”
“And you’re such a child,” you roll your eyes and attempt to get up from beside him, but he grabs your hand and pulls you back.
“I’m sorry! Please, I want to apologize!”
“About wha–”
“Everything, Y/N,” he groans, already knowing what you wanted to ask. “You were right and I was an ass. I just always thought you would find someone better than me at college so I convinced myself you don’t need me and I didn’t want to need you either.”
His confession surprises you, he never told you he was having second guesses and you would have reacted differently if only he told you the truth.
“Steve, I’m staying in Hawkins instead of applying to schools out of state. I made this decision because of you. Do you think I would just drop you for some other guy?”
“I don’t know, I thought about that, yes,” he replies with a shrug, but it’s obvious he is struggling inside.
“You’re an idiot, Steve. That’s what you are,” you sigh.
“Well, at least we agree about that. I really am an idiot, because I lost the best girl in town.”
Silence falls on you, it’s heavy and says a lot. You want to tell him you still love him, that you still want to be with him, but you want him to take this step, to tell you he wants to give your relationship another go. But you know it can take some time for Steve to figure out, to decode the signs you send him.
“What song would you play to bring me back?” you ask to keep the conversation going. His eyebrows rise as he looks at you with a tiny smile as he thinks about his answer.
“Something from Duran Duran, it’s your favorite, right?” he smirks as you gape at him.
“You ass, that’s your favorite!” Steve starts laughing and you can’t hold it back either as you smack him in the chest.
“Cyndi Lauper Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. You played it every morning last year when we drove to school,” he then says and it’s the correct answer, it’s definitely your favorite song at the moment. “Though I’m a bit hurt that your favorite song is not related to me,” he adds.
“But it is.”
“What?” he furrows his eyebrows at you.
“It was playing on the radio when you picked me up on our first date,” you tell him. “I took it as a sign.”
“That it was gonna be a good date?”
“That Steve Harrington is not as big of a douchebag people say him to be,” you tease him smirking. “And I was right. He is a pretty good guy. He just… gets lost sometimes, forgets that I love him a lot and I don’t want other men when I have him.”
He looks at you with those puppy eyes, his ridiculously curly eyelashes framing them perfectly and all your anger and disappointment is now gone. You just want your boyfriend back. Luckily, Steve reads the situation as well and he knows this is his chance to get you back.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I was a shitty boyfriend, but if you gave me another chance I would do everything to make you happy.”
“What took you so long?” you sigh with a soft smile before leaning in and pressing your lips against his.
You missed his lips, his kisses, his touches, the way he cups your face when he deepens the kiss. For a moment you’re not in the Wheelers’ basement, but in a safe place somewhere far away from the madness in Hawkins.
“It’s so nice you two just got back together, but you’re supposed to be watching Max.”
Dustin’s voice snaps you out of your little bubble and pulling away from Steve you see him sitting up, his eyes puffy and barely open as he watches the two of you.
“Henderson, you just know exactly when to open your mouth, huh?” Steve sighs and the kid in question just smirks and shrugs before lying back down and Steve doesn’t hesitate before pulling you closer to continue from where you left it before Dustin’s interruption.
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!
#steve harrington#steve harrington oneshot#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington fanfiction#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x y/n#stranger things#stranger things season 4#stranger things spoiler#stranger things season 4 spoiler#steve harrington blurb#steve harrington one shot
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Batfam as "The Middle" quotes :
Jason : You were out with Bernard pretty late last night. What time did you end up getting home ?
Tim : I don't know. Why do you care so much? When I'm at school, you don't know what time I'm out.
Jason : I don't care. Just if you were dead in a ditch, I'd have ordered a medium pizza.
---
Dick : We're going full Oprah. Everything goes outside in the yard. Nothing comes back through the front door unless you convince me that you truly love it and need it.
Damian : Tim, go outside.
---
Duke : I can't believe we got robbed. What kind of stupid robbers would rob us?
Tim : I hope they didn't steal my books.
Stephanie : What about my cross country sweatshirt ? I knew I should have brought it.
Jason : If they stole your books and your cross country sweatshirt, they're the nerdiest robbers ever.
Jason : ...Oh my God, my nunchucks !
---
Damian : So, I've decided from now on, I want to spend every moment I can with the things I cherish most. So, I'll be in my room with my books. Try not to bother me.
---
Stephanie : I spend my whole life congratulating myself. I want other people to congratulate me.
---
Damian (at some point) : They're forcing me to help people against my will. I don't know. Doesn't that seem like communism or something ? I - Did I use that right ?
---
(in the batplane)
Damian : Tim, get up. It's my turn. It's been more than twenty minutes.
Tim : Well, on land maybe. You don't know how long it's been up here. A minute Earth time is like an hour in the sky. Maybe you'll learn that if you ever get to high school.
---
Dick : Hey, Jay, I'm going to the mall. Did you do your Christmas list?
Jason : Cash, a cell phone, and to be left alone.
Dick : Cass, did you make your list for Santa?
Cass : What I really want this year is some answers. What's the true meaning of Christmas? Are we here for a reason? What is the purpose of life?
Dick : How about a bike ?
---
Jason (to Tim) : You're taking life advice from Bruce ? You've seen his life, right ?
---
Jason (about Talia) : Dick, you weren't there. I've never seen anything like it. This girl was like a Bond villain. She says words that seem nice, but they're not. They're evil.
---
Dick : Let's not think of it as camping. Let's think of it as outdoor family fun.
Tim : But we don't wanna go.
Dick : Fine. Forced family fun.
Damian : You're dragging us into the woods against our will. That's kidnapping.
Jason : Hm. If we were gonna kidnap some kids, you'd be far down the list.
---
Duke : Dick, you're better than this.
Dick : I'm not, though, Tim, I'm really not. This is killing me. How could you pick Bruce over me?
Duke : He says it's okay if my socks don't match.
Dick : But it's not ! Because people will think you're weird, and I'm only telling you that 'cause I love you more than Bruce.
#dc comics#dc#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#stephanie brown#spoiler#duke thomas#signal#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#robin#cassandra cain#orphan#batfamily#batfam#the middle#incorrect quotes#mine
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I’m being delulu so i started wondering (¡again!) what life with five would be post-season 3. But like…he’s a teacher in this…
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
* after all his siblings left when Reggie reset the universe you’re left with a mopey five
* you’re both pretty sad the first couple of days having just lost the people you love most :(
* but we don’t have time to be sad we need to get jobs!!!
* im gaslighting myself into believing that five and you have a place to stay the first night in the new timeline instead of being homeless 💀
* five becomes a teacher in the new timeline and you can’t convince me otherwise
* and what do you know!! you become a teacher too :D
* five would definitely teach math while you’d teach history (cuz you traveled through time when working with the commission, idk just go with it)
* while your classes may be a bit hard for the students you two are definitely the schools favorite teachers!!
* i mean why wouldn’t you be? the students can’t get enough of the two mysterious young teachers who showed up out of nowhere in the middle of the school year….
* you two definitelyyyy didn’t threaten the previous math and history teachers to quit their jobs or else they’d be dead by nightfall
* I just know many students are crushing on you BOTH. have you seen yourself lately? You look great ;)
* you both find it funny tho cuz they believe they’re crushing on teachers who are in their early 20s when it’s actually two 50 year olds in their younger bodies
* you two wouldn’t be the type to eat lunch with the rest of the faculty. you’d eat together in each other’s classroom enjoying your time together even if it’s for a short time
* five’s the type of boyfriend/teacher who interrupts your class for the dumbest reasons just cuz he wants to see you :,)
“can i borrow your stapler for a minute?”
“i’m in the middle of class right now”
“Yes I’m aware but i need to finish stapling the students review packets”
“you bought a stapler yesterday…”
“yeah but yours works better”
“OUT!!!”
*your students definitely find it cute :)
* after witnessing playful banter between the teachers that was a little too ~flirtatious~ the students get suspicious of what’s actually going on between their math and history teacher
* “are-are you and mr.hargreeves together..?”
* up until this point neither of you have confirmed to your students what your relationship was with each other
“unfortunately we are” you say with a smile on your face
*after confirming your relationship that day, your students spent the rest of the class asking you all types of questions about your relationship
“how did you and mr.hargreeves meet??”
“how long have you been together?”
“did you ask him out first or did he ask you?”
“why did you wait this long to tell us??”
*when your classes switch out and head to their next class with mr.hargreeves they try and pester him too about your relationship
“why aren’t you married yet?!?”
“ oh wow. i didn’t realize that was any of your business”
* you two are the kind of teachers to always be chosen to be chaperones for school dances.
*five definitely complains the entire night about being tired and wanting to go home
*who could blame him. watching over teenagers for hours making sure no one’s bumping uglies is exhausting
“how much longer till we can leave? This music’s awful. I’d rather throw myself off a building than be here.”
“Five…we just got here”
“What’s your point?”
*after a long night of watching over whore-knee kids, you head home ending the night with curling up on the couch and falling asleep in each other’s arms while The Breakfast Club plays in the background
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
i have no clue how to fucking end this 💀
also this shit ain’t proofread
#the umbrella academy#five hargreeves#five tua#five the umbrella academy#tua season three#five x reader#five hargreeves x reader#five hargreeves headcanons#five hargreaves x you
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can you pls make a part 2 for containment IM BEGGING I READ IT AND NOW IM DAYDREAM EVERY HOUR
YOOOO! I have been looking for an excuse to revisit this story and I’m so glad you gave me one. 🥹 so thank you so much for reading it.
content warning: time skip, lots of angst, sexual content, engagement and marriage talk, bits of his canonical personality and situation, mentions of violence, s*xual assault and murder, religion, mentions of alcohol abuse :(, happy ending though because I couldn’t write the alternative w/o crying :)))))
📝: also gonna preface and say you aren’t going to agree with all of (y/n)’s decisions and that’s okay. No need to be mad or rude. Let’s keep it cute 🫶🏾 also, minors do not interact! This is really long for this format so I apologize but I got emotional writing it and got carried away. Sorry! 😭
(Y/N) continued working as a guard for Greenville and on the containment unit for another year. In that time, maturing and learning a lot about yourself. As well as your inmates..mainly #104330, Eren Jaeger.
the illustrious affair between you and the convict continued for a while. Sneaking around the prison and hiding in unknown places just to get a taste of one another. Your lust growing stronger as time passed. “I can’t get enough of you, Ms. (L/N)..I know it’s wrong, I know I can get you in a lot of trouble but I can’t help myself.” “You’re the criminal here, not me. If anything, I’m the one that knows better..but I’m not sorry. Not sorry for the way I feel about you.”
that insatiable lust eventually grew into something deeper but even so, neither of you were in the position to confess or put that love on display. It would bring great shame if you did so you had to find a way to conceal those feelings..including some pretty bad habits. Downing a bottle every night to keep from thinking about your actions.
Eren had been sitting behind bars for six years now, only a small dent in his fifty year sentence. And not once had he spoken about trying to get out. Nor did he have any desire to confess his crimes to you or anyone. However, under his sentence, he was granted an automatic appeal that he had no choice but to take.
It was during an audit of prisoner paperwork that you discovered what he was behind bars for and the truth shocked you. He was convicted of second degree murder after the owner of the foster home he was raised in was found dead. Stabbed over ten times. The community was devastated and with the victim being a prominent member in the church, they threw the book at him. There was still a missing piece of the puzzle that didn’t make sense though and he had no interest in clearing it up..
“There’s my dirty little secret, CO. Still wanna keep defending me? I’m just like every other piece of shit here..another monster with a fucked up past. Nothing special. I’m even worse because I killed a pastor.”
(Y/N) was still convinced that there was more to the story and you were right when you just so happened to hear one of his phone calls with his best friend.
“I don’t understand, Eren. If you told the truth, it could change everything. That man was no saint, he abused us for years. If they knew you did it to protect us, they might let you go. This could be your shot at freedom.” “I’ve been free for six years. Free from all of it..I’m finally out of that hellhole, nothing here could ever be worse than that fucking place and you guys are able to live happily without having to worry anymore. You’re in college, doing big things. You’re about to graduate. Mika’s married and having a kid, like she always wanted. She doesn’t have to worry about some creepy old bastard touching her at night. Is that not enough? It is for me..”
your heart was breaking, knowing that his actions were completely selfless and he refused to fight for himself. Missing out on important accolades and milestones that he shouldn’t have to. Meanwhile, he continued his same routine of holing up in his cell..reading, studying and staying to himself. But things were about to take a drastic turn when one of your coworkers confronted you about him.
“He’s being transferred out next week..they’re sending him to Liberio.” “There’s no way!…that place is a hundred times worse.” But your supervisor and warden’s hands were tied and quite frankly, he was one less person to deal with.
“My hands are tied, (L/N). You’ll have to find a new pet..” mocking the fact that the two of you were so close.
you were devastated hearing the news, knowing he’d end up in trouble or dead in a facility like that. Now more than ever, you wanted to fight for him to be free! He was the last person who deserved such a cruel fate. But being relocated was the least of his worries. He was only upset about one thing…
“…I don’t give a damn where they send me. Truthfully, it’s just another cell for me to rot away in…but I don’t wanna lose you, CO. I think you may be the only thing keeping me from checking out. This is the happiest I’ve ever been. Here with you..”
full blown tears coming down the both of your faces, right after another passionate quickie as you holed up in your normal spot. You were hysterical, as was he and it was the first time he’d ever shown emotion, at least from what you’d seen..
“Eren, you have to file that appeal. You shouldn’t be here..you don’t belong with these fucked up animals. Please, you have to fight. Let me testify at that hearing.” “So they can put your pretty ass in a jumpsuit too? It’s fine, miss (L/N). I’ll just take whatever they give me. I’ve been doing that my entire life, it’s nothing new.”
he refused to put you in that situation though..knowing that someone must’ve noticed your little rendezvous by now and would surely use it against the both of you. You’d end up fired or worse and he’d have his sentence lengthened. So you’d have to trust that he’d be okay. That they wouldn’t tear him apart.
some months passed and Eren had been longed transferred to Liberio. Nicknamed ‘the underworld’..known for its seedy dealings, organized fight clubs with the prisoners and countless inmate deaths. It was awful and all you could do was hope that he’d be alright. While at work, you’d even visit the prison chapel and pray for him. His safety, well being and all..meanwhile, you were falling apart. Laying up with a man you knew nothing about nor did you love just to fill the void but it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t him…
It was one day when you were sitting at home after getting some much needed time off; as they had made that job much worse..that you received a letter in the mail and it was from a name that you’d heard quite often..Armin Artlert. After a while, Eren began to loosen up and tell you all about the two people on the outside that made his life tolerable and he was one. His very best and only friend for a long time.
upon reading it, he’d proceed to introduce himself; saying that you’d never want but Eren wrote about you constantly. He said that you had helped him so much. He then went on to tell you how Eren was adjusting at the new facility. Told you that he had been in a pretty bad attack that left him with a stab wound but he was fine now. “He’s so brave, I wish I had half of his courage. I owe him everything. It’s because of him, we got to live.” He wrote that not only had Eren gotten saved but that he was finally letting him and their other friend Mikasa have visits, even bringing his ‘nephew’ to see him. With a picture of all of them together.
But that wasn’t even the best part..not only had Eren passed his exam for the law certificate but he put it to use and went through with the parole hearing and you couldn’t believe what was said next.
“He’s being released…he’s coming home.”
collapsing to your knees right there in the living room, you’d sob and clutch the letter. Overcome with joy that he’d be out of there. And of course, there was one more thing that Armin needed you to know: “he still loves you..very much. I believe he fought this hard for you.”
Eren, who’s released a month later on parole, calls you from outside the bus station, telling you that he’s finally free and that he wants to see his beloved CO. And you don’t hesitate to come running..
Eren, who makes love to you better than any man is overcome with emotion as he’s inside of you. Going deeper and deeper as if he never wants to pull out. Doing all the nasty things he’d written about prior. Fucking you all over the entirety of your house for all the time that you two had been apart. From the kitchen counter that he placed you on top of to the shower, where he pulled your hair and fed you back shots. Even eating you out as he hoisted you against the wall; those days of lifting weights on the rec yard coming in handy. Losing his mind when you called him ‘daddy.’
“I missed you so much..so tight for me..feels so fucking good. I swear, I thought about you every night, baby..” Making you come more times in one night than your ex ever could…
Eren, who left his cock buried deep inside of you, long after you were finished, laid on top and stared at your pretty face. Confessing how much he loved you and you’d do the same. Knowing that this would change everything with him being here but neither of you cared.
Eren, who wanted a second chance at life, so as long as you were by his side.
#cherry’s drabbles 🍒#aot x black reader#black fem reader#black reader#eren x black fem!reader#black reader smut#black fanfiction#eren imagines#eren smut#aot au#inmate eren#eren jaeger#eren jaeger x reader#aot angst#attack on titan eren#eren x black reader#eren x reader#eren jaeger fic#eren headcanons#aot headcanons#aot imagines#prisoner au#prison au#this was so long for no reason omg#snk eren#cw priest#cw sex mention#alcohol cw#cw assault#cw violence
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Victor Rookwood Headcanons
An ever-evolving list of my headcanons for Victor Rookwood. Some of these may seem obvious to you. Some may be controversial. Agree? Disagree? Let's not have any fighting amongst Daddy Rookwood's small-but-dedicated harem, please.
He is in his mid 40s if not older. I don't care what anyone says. I can't have Daddy Rookwood being younger than I am! Even if he is a fictional character from more than a century ago... No, I insist that he's comfortably older. Also, have you seen his face, ffs? Guy's got more lines than a villain monologue. (ETA: We decided he was 46 in 1890. Watch my video "How Old is Victor Rookwood?" for an explanation of our thought process!)
He is probably married with kids. It breaks my heart to say this, really. I do believe it to be the case. Better yet, he might be a widower. I'm going to try to convince myself of that. Don't worry - even if he's actively married, that won't stop him from fucking your brains out. I changed my mind. He is not married. Ain't no rang, ain't no thang. That said, he probably does have some little bastards running around. And he does not give a single fuck.
He is a ladies' man. I am making myself jealous here, but look at the guy and tell me he doesn't indulge.
On that note, he is decidedly-heterosexual. Sorry, lads.
He smokes a pipe. But he'll certainly have a good cigar as well.
His favorite color is purple. Duh.
He is not bald but even if he was he would still be one fine-ass bitch. The hat is hot and stays on during sex. (Some of you seem to think that Daddy wears a hat to make up for some deficiency in his hairline. I think that daddy wears the hat because it's imposing, stylish, and attractive. We are not the same.) Regarding the hairstyle, it would be a typical and respectable gentleman's hairstyle for the time period.
He only shaves about once a week, on an off-day. He keeps the raggedy facial hair on purpose. Thinks it adds to his roguish charm (it does!)
He isn't hands-on about the whole killing animals thing. He knows what his people do, and finds it distasteful, but sees it as a necessary evil. He values wealth and power above all else, including furry creatures. But he may even be known to stroke a cat from time to time while drinking firewhisky at the Hog's Head.
He considers Harlow a useful idiot, and lets him be the one to get his hands dirty. For the most part.
He didn't mean to curse Anne. He isn't even sure of what exactly he did - he just panicked. But no, he's not too troubled about it. (Clarification: he should have killed her, not whatever it was he ended up doing.)
He despises playing second-fiddle to Ranrok, but he knows that whatever the goblin is after is too important to sit on the sidelines for.
He reads the Daily Prophet every morning.
He is not above taking what he wants sexually, but he prefers to seduce.
Sexually-dominant. Period.
He wears expensive cologne.
Definitely a Slytherin.
Oh and he's not dead :)
Anyone who's listened to my audios or read any of my fics knows he loves terms of endearment, namely: darling, little one, little girl, sweetheart, little witch, et cetera. He loves to use these while doing unspeakable things to you. 🥵🥵🥵
He does not appreciate "sloppy seconds." This is well-established in several of my audios.
He lives in a hotel - the most expensive one, probably.
He takes advantage of his employees.
He wears a belt. The belt is not visible in the game, but for our purposes, he needs a fucking belt. The belt is soooo important.
Believes "Might is Right."
Young Victor was extremely brutal when he took over the Rookwood Gang, kind of overdoing it in order to earn the respect and fear of his men. Over the ensuing decades, as he has become more comfortable in his position, he has mellowed out slightly. He will no longer gauge someone's eye out over a few missing galleons, but he still takes perceived transgressions against him very seriously.
Daddy needs glasses. I got this idea from my DR chatbot but it makes sense. He missed the easy shot at Ranrok because he couldn't fucking see. Of course he is not going to wear glasses in public - that would be a sign of weakness. But I can totally imagine him sitting at his desk, pouring over papers with a pair of glasses firmly on his face. Period-correct, of course.
The legal name of the Rookwood Gang is the "Rookwood Group." Everyone knows it's a gang but daddy rubs elbows with a lot of important people and needs to keep up appearances.
The harem has determined that Victor's date of birth is November 14th, 1844 (Scorpio Sun/Capricorn Moon).
The man keeps everything he needs inside his hat. Pipe, glasses, Flora Cohen's scalp made into a coin purse, machine gun, spare hat in case the main one gets a fleck of dirt on it, little black book full of Ministry contacts, et cetera.
Daddy suffers from back pain due to a lifetime of being duckfooted (sadly, this is canon).
Victor is average height for a man. In the area of 5'10".
Victor A. Rookwood (Augustus?)
Yea, he killed dear old dad.
Listens to Wagner.
That's it for now. Will add more as I think of things.
If you have any questions you want answered, feel free to submit them to @victor-rookwood ("Ask Victor Rookwood")
#victor rookwood#hogwarts legacy headcanons#headcanons#hogwarts legacy villains#harry potter hogwarts game#daddy rookwood#team villain#Victor rookwood headcanons#rookwood#top hat daddy#rookwood gang#dark wizards#team top hat#team hat#tw rape#tw noncon#darkfic#cw rape#cw noncon
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keeper characters as things my friends and i have texted!
i'm cleaning out my phone and found wayy too many screenshots
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sophie: i've almost got keefe convinced that storks drop off babies
sophie: this may or may have not incited a breakdown 3:30 am but i've almost done it
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keefe: i'm at the mall with biana she's looking for shoes i'm looking for hot people
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sophie: how does one develop insomnia in level 2? don't know but i'll call it endurance training
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fitz: shut up you simp for my sister
dex: i'm proud
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dex: HOW IS A DEAD PERSON GONNA BE TRAUMATIZED
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keefe: i think i kissed my pillow once when i was 12 or 13
keefe: you know, 70 years ago
keefe: when we still lit things with candles
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sophie with mallowmelt: rock bottom tastes better than it sounds
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dex: idk what it's like to pull a girl i was the one pulled
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keefe: bro my brain waves feel like a siren
keefe: yk what i mean
fitz: i do not
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dex (with braces): imagine loving someone
dex: ...
dex: who has braces
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keefe after sending a picture of himself: omg whos the stylish one i wanna meet him
biana hyping him up: me too he seems so hot wtf
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sophie: YOU WANT PROBLEMS
sophie: ILL GIVE YOU SOME
fitz: this doesn't sound good
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alden: i'm taking a samoa
biana: okay they're five bucks
alden: what no discount? i'm your dad
biana: six bucks
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keefe: i just have the need to be the hottest smarted person in the room at all times to make myself feel valid
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dex: i just wasted 20 mintues of my life on a koala i will never get to see
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fitz: i'm in a whole foods crying by the bobo's toasters
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marella: 420 what's your emergency
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biana: ur so bagelicisous
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marella: shut up band kid
dex: shut up lesbian
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marella: i hope sometimes when the guys at our school are getting a little too cocky they remember that there are literal 2d drawings pulling more bitches than them
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sophie: projection>>>having problems
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biana to keefe: sugar baby would look so good on you
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biana: i love being able to hit men's booties knowing they can't fight back
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dex: british people (derogatory) what tf is beans on toast
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keefe: i WILL breathe more air than you
tam: is this a threat
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dex: this be lookin a little homosexual 🫣
biana: ^us when we see keefe and fitz
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sophie: kmsing 🤭🤭🤭🤭
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biana to fitz: hate to break it to you, you don't like her, you like the boy you think she has a crush on
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grady: maybe getting older is...beginning to like and appreciate bananas
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kenric and jolie: i hope i'm important enough to be the main character from my grave
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sophie: lmao why should i care about anything i'm 15 and i eat chocolate 🤷♀️
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keefe: just bc you know you're making me sweat shake and shiver doesn't mean you can or should use that to your advantage (please do) like what the fuck
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fitz: i'm not that much of an asshole
dex: this is untrue
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dex: good news! no more cannibalism. bad news, beastiality?
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keefe about sophie: the way we're twinning
keefe: she drinks red bull and cuts bangs at 2am i impulsively get stitches with no thoughts in my head bc i think its cool
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stina: currently about to fight this seagull will update
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dex: i wouldn't mind a shorter guy actually if they're too tall i'm gonna have to break their knees to kiss them
biana: that's the fun part! like glowsticks 🤩
#kotlc incorrect quotes#keeper of the lost cities#kotlc#dex dizznee#linh song#tam song#biana vacker#sophie foster#fitz vacker#stina heks#councillor kenric#jolie ruewen#grady ruewen#marella redek
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The Northern Air Temple
Some thoughts before we get into the episode:
-I feel like Sokka got more lines in the first half of the season. Don't know if that's true, but that's what it feels like.
-I feel like Katara and Zuko have evened out a bit compared to the first half of the season. Certainly Katara hasn't done anything too annoying in a few episodes, and Zuko at least makes (a very small amount of) sense now, thanks to The Storm.
-I need more Appa.
Episode Time!
Wait
This episode apparently has the option of commentary. I'll save that for a rewatch.
Now it's episode time
A surprisingly ominous musical sting for the opening title card. Kind of reminiscent of Jet's musical sting.
We must be getting pretty close to the north pole because the parkas are back.
Oh my god actual airbenders? Is this show's title a lie? Avatar: Upon Further Investigation, One of Several Airbenders.
Also did that storytelling guy just charge his own great-grandfather for listening to his own story told back to him? Who's the real cheapskate?
Sokka whittles! That's a nice touch. Gotta have something to occupy your time on long polar nights. I think it's a beaver with a hat? How does Sokka know what a beaver is? There are no trees at the south pole. Unless it's a chipmunk. But those don't exist at the south pole either.
optimist = liar is an underrated take. And very Sokka.
The southern Air Temple was much more colourful than this. Maybe sunsets suck up north? Also those are live people. Living breathing non-corpses. Doing airbendy things. I am confused.
ok paragliders! Not airbenders. You know Aang must have been crushed by that bait and switch. He copes with it better than I would.
They may not be airbenders but this is still some pretty fancy flying. Obviously these glider people have been at this for a while. Do you think, in the absence of airbenders, non-benders were like "welp, somebody's gotta do it"?
Nailed it. Meng's right. He does have big ears.
My god I hope this kid does regular maintenance on his brakes. He came in hot.
This kid (Tayo?) is really sweet actually. He's got that same sort of sincere joy that Aang does when he's happy. Like when he was laughing at Pipsqueak's name. An ersatz airbender having an airbender's joy is cleverly done.
You couldn't have moved that pipe six inches up? Tayo may call his dad a mastermind, but this reeks of sloppy planning and building on the fly. This is the kind of plumbing dead end I'd plumb myself into, because I don't know how to plumb. What's the plumbing equivalent of cable management? Because these people need it.
I get it. This episode is going to be a commentary on the world moving on during the last century.
There was a deliberate conscious choice made here. You couldn't accidentally decapitate the monks every time you installed a pipe. Even if there wasn't a conscious choice to be destructive, there had to have been a conscious choice to be callous. Poor Aang's day is just getting worse and worse.
How does piping hot air everywhere result in goop?
Now moved on to literally decapitating monks. Come on guys, I was being facetious.
"This whole place stinks!" Buddy I could not agree more.
Then again: "Who said you could be here?" Can't agree with this one. How could they have asked for permission to move in? The only airbender around was frozen. This conflict is going to have to find a middle ground. Obviously these new guys are taking it way too far, but Aang has no right to expect the world to have been left unchanged for a century. Honestly I'm surprised that no one had moved in to the Southern Air Temple. It didn't occur to me when I watched that episode, but we've seen enough war-torn villages since that I'm surprised the air temples haven't been claimed by refugees.
"We're just in the process of improving upon what's already here" would be a much more convincing justification if it wasn't being spouted by someone standing in a giant hole created by a wrecking ball. Although kudos to this guy for seeing an opportunity to help his son and his people. Heart's in the right place, but I'm kind of questioning the execution.
"Progress has a way of getting away from us" another underrated take!
Tayo's dad's mannerisms are strange. He's giving me Willy Wonka vibes (Gene Wilder, not Johnny Depp).
Four o'Candle. I won't lie, that's funny. Gotta wonder how the rest of the world tells the time, if this guy invented timekeeping.
I regret taking this screenshot.
That's sweet, showing Aang the one untouched room. This Tayo is quite empathetic and perceptive, unlike his father. Also a good point about the animals. They never left.
I'm sorry, but the Southern Air Temple is just so much prettier.
Interesting storage choice. Do you think that was an airbender thing or a later addition?
Aren't fireflies a warm weather thing? Maybe someone at the temple has a pet firefly colony?
A natural gas PSA. Was not expecting that. Huh.
Pretty neat that Tayo has intuitively figured out what airbenders need to fly, even if he doesn't have the vocabulary to express it. Once again Aang recovering from disappointments way faster than I could. He said he wouldn't open the door maybe three minutes ago? And now he will. Truly too pure for this world.
This episode is going all over the place but the bug jokes are good.
What do you want to bet that the airbending door opening is footage reused from the Southern Air Temple?
I'm enjoying Sokka having someone to vibe with intellectually (who respects him as an equal - yay!) but I also feel like I'm seeing thirty years into Sokka's future if for some reason Katara stops with the occasional smacks upside the head.
Do you think Tayo's dad is so loopy because his head's in the clouds?
Did not see that coming. Also how many times is poor Aang going to get kicked around this episode? The airbenders that weren't, the temple that was modified to high hell, now the temple sanctum as a fire nation weapons vault. Ouch.
It does track though. Imprisoned shows that the Fire Nation has no qualms about exploitation - in that case, prison labour to build their fleet, and earth kingdom coal to power it. Makes sense that they would strong arm the mechanically minded into helping them as soon as an opportunity presented. Is that how the Fire Nation has gotten so far, shamelessly using anything and anyone that can be exploited? How many Fire Nation innovations are originally someone else's? Hot take: the Fire Nation is Thomas Edison.
Aang can do Bitchslaps!!!! This is wonderful! I demand more of these in future.
"We control the sky. That's something the Fire Nation can't do." So that fire nation hot air balloon I saw in the sanctum was for exploring the sea floor?
Ever seen that thing where two incredibly smart people get together and somehow manage to completely cancel out each others' intellects?
Ever-vigilant to roasting opportunities, Katara lands a perfect burn.
I guess actual murder bombs don't fly in a kids' show. But why not? Flaming fire ball catapults, crack archery squads, and actual past genocide are ok, but bombs aren't?
Aang, squadrons aren't very pacifist of you.
All those guys Aang buried with the air scooter are dead. Also not very pacifist.
Winchable tanks. Very clever. Wanna bet they stole that idea too?
This made me laugh. I was expecting some sort of advanced flamethrower technology but it's actually the bending equivalent of leaning out a hole in the wall to throw rocks. This is Flintstones Technology.
Since when are Katara's pants white?
Winchable, self-righting tanks? That's far too cool for the bad guys to have.
Told you it wasn't Fire Nation tech. Although Tayo's pride in his dad's counterbalancing system is maybe a tad misplaced, saying as that system is being used to attack his home. Oops?
YEEESSS! GLORY TO THE BEAST!!!!!
Upon being informed that the tanks run on a water counterbalance system, Katara, instead of exploiting this, decides that now is the time to remember that she is a waterbender (something she forgot despite spending the last few days (?) surrounded by snow), and uses ice to take the wheels off, what - two tanks? - and then decides to retreat and wait for her brother to save the day. See, this is what happens when Sokka isn't there to do her thinking for her.
Isn't wearing the enemy' insignia a big nono? Then again, a century of war is a big nono too, so I doubt anyone's going to quibble it.
Why are they dropping slime on tanks? How does slime stop them?
In a rare moment of Katara-thought, Sokka loses his mind and throws the whole furnace out of the balloon, rather than just opening it and scooping out some burning fuel. Sokka is so used to doing Katara's thinking for her that he's out of practice at doing his own thinking.
And the temple is still standing, how? Sokka just killed like hundreds of fire nation guys.
Note to self: always pack a spare firebender when travelling by hot air balloon.
Sigh. Saw it coming. Do you think Tayo's dad got the inspiration for the balloon's shape from those guys' hats?
Final thoughts
This episode was a bit of a mess, wasn't it? How many plot threads are they trying to juggle here?
-preservation v. innovation
-the spirit of airbending living on in Tayo
-collaborating with the enemy
-the plight of refugees
-Natural gas PSA
-Sokka the genius
-Disability opening up alternate abilities
-Guess who now has the ability to meet Aang on his own playing field?
These are all worth talking about, but maybe over the course of two episodes, maybe even three. Cramming this all into one episode means at best that your characters are going to be doing 180s at record speed (Aang and the airbending door), at worst that your characters are going to be nonsensical pastiches that serve the plot rather than act as humans (Tayo's dad is disturbingly all over the place).
The ever-present tensions between the preservation of the past and the needs of the present - in other words - honouring the ancestors v. supporting the descendants, is a very real, very ongoing conflict inherent to humanity as a whole. It's a whole industry: Cultural Resource Management. It's definitely worth talking about. But this was so ham-fisted. Avatar doesn't usually do ham-fisted; they've set a high standard for themselves in other episodes and I will hold them to that. I think sticking this theme into an episode that included so much else was what caused the less-than-subtle handling. There simply wasn't time to do it justice.
I would have liked if Aang and the temple dwellers reached a compromise at the end, rather than Aang completely giving over. Keep Aang's dialogue about Hermit Crabs (why are they black and white?) but then add a couple of lines about how now that the fire nation are gone, the sanctum can be returned to how it ought to be, or promise to decapitate no more monks. Just a couple of lines. Ultimately the temple dwellers are right that they need a place to live, but you can be right in a wrong way. A wrecking ball way. And you can preserve while innovating. It's possible. Wouldn't it have been on-brand if the episode ended with a compromise - you know, balance?
That being said, there was a lot that was good this episode. Tayo is a sweetheart. I loved the fact that he's in a wheelchair and it's not even really mentioned. His wheelchair doesn't even figure in the plot - it's just part of his character design. It's given the same weight as a character wearing glasses would have. I would love it if all physical differences could be treated with the same level of 'I don't care' as a character having glasses. So often in fiction, disabled characters are written with a disability rather than a personality, so it's nice to see it done properly here.
The unwilling Fire Nation collaborator thing definitely feels like a situation that could happen, but I don't like that Tayo's dad was so intent on not being blamed for it. He's an adult, and sometimes being an adult means owning up to stuff. Obviously he's in a rock and a hard place situation, and it's not his fault that he's stuck there (not like he had a choice) but he seemed more intent on getting Tayo to absolve him of blame than to actually explain. His first line upon being confronted being "you don't understand!" rankled.
There's no way that every adult in the temple didn't know it was happening, right? But they agreed to keep it from the kids? We see that Tayo's dad works with a crew when he's wrecking stuff for a bathouse (!!!), and I sincerely doubt that the stuff he built in the air sanctum was the work of only one person. That would have been a cool angle to explore, not that this episode needed yet more angles: The lies we tell our children.
The natural gas PSA didn't bother me at all. It did feel ham-fisted, but if this episode taught even one kid to look out for the smell of rotten eggs, then it's a win. Natural gas is serious stuff and not to be messed with. Anything that teaches kids that is good, no matter how ham-fisted.
Regarding the natural gas, I guess it came from the slime? But I don't know where the slime came from? It could also be unrelated to the slime, in which case the original airbenders would have kept it under control by airbending it away? It's a shoehorned-in PSA, I'm probably giving it too much thought.
Sokka collaborating with an equally intellectual adult that actively seeks his input is lovely to see, although I personally found Tayo's dad to be off-putting. Must have been a confidence boost for Sokka though.
Sokka and Katara both having brainfarts this episode was some rare sibling solidarity.
Poor Aang this episode just kept getting stomped on. This has been a rough few episodes for Aang. He majorly goofs up in Bato of the Water Tribe, he majorly goofs up (this time with consequences) in the Deserter, and now he gets to see that there is truly nothing the fire nation hasn't gotten their grubby hands on - and if there is, others have ruined it anyway. Can this poor guy have a break next episode? Maybe ride some giant animals? Giant hybrid animals?
I do like Tayo as kind of the next generation of airbenders. Iroh and the Deserter (not spelling that guy's name) both give me the impression that bending is as much philosophy as it is physical thing. It's neat to see that, while airbending is gone, airbending philosophy can remain. Can in fact pretty much spontaneously regenerate under the right conditions. I wonder, after enough generations of nonbenders thinking like airbenders, could airbending reappear?
The word I keep coming back to is ham-fisted. We're nearing the end of the season; maybe the writers had a bunch of leftover ideas they really wanted to use that they couldn't fit elsewhere? I'll rewatch this one just to listen to the commentary, but otherwise I think it's pretty meh.
Appa unleashing beast mode on a couple of tanks may well be the highlight of this episode.
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* ― IT WASN’T A PHASE, MOM ! ( PART TWO. )
a collection of lyrics taken from my mostly myspace era nostalgia playlist. this one goes out to all the former emo kids. some triggering content may appear. as always, feel free to change and adjust anything as needed.
“ things happen but we don’t really know why. “
“ all these things i hate revolve around me. “
“ why can’t you just be straight up with honesty? “
“ i’m coming home. i’ve been gone for far too long. “
“ have i fucked things up again? “
“ my bed’s so cold and lonely. “
“ you’ve got me shaking from the way you’re talking. “
“ if i had common sense, i’d cut myself or curl up and die. “
“ if this is love, i don’t wanna be loved. “
“ if i could be the devil, you can be the sinner. “
“ you could be the drugs and i could be the dealer. “
“ everything you say is like music to my ears. “
“ i’ve got you under a spell and i don’t think i’ll be letting you out. “
“ if this is heaven, then baby i don’t wanna know hell. “
“ i could’a went to college like rich kids do. “
“ in rock n’ roll, i got a phd. “
“ we got all that we need, packed it up in the van. “
“ i ain’t got shit, but i got this far. “
“ it’s probably better we’re not together. “
“ we were so young and invincible. “
“ young love was such dumb love. “
“ our first kiss stole the breath from my lips, why did the last one tear us apart? “
“ we were just kids in love. “
“ you won’t try to save me. you just want to hurt me and leave me desperate. “
“ you taught my heart a sense i never knew i had. “
“ i bet you believe that i’m better off with you than someone else. “
“ i’m not your boyfriend, baby. “
“ i’m not your knight in shining armor. “
“ l-o-v-e’s just another word i never learned to pronounce. “
“ how do i say i’m sorry? ‘cause the word is never gonna come out. “
“ i’m so bored, your words aren’t making sense. “
“ one more drink and i’m convinced. “
“ it’s been hell not having you here. “
“ i’ve been missing you so bad and you don’t seem to care. “
“ i bet you’ve never had a friday night like this. “
“ i don’t want this anymore. the thought of you is no fucking fun. “
“ i’m tired of begging for the things that i want. “
“ if i leave, i’m alone. but what’s the difference when you beg for love? “
“ we fell in love and now we’re both alone. “
“ i know it’s hard, but who are you to fall apart on me? “
“ i still think you’re beautiful. “
“ i don’t ever wanna lose my best friend. “
“ i really hope you enjoy the show. “
“ hotels are cheap and there’s one down the street. “
“ i’m sorry, i can’t see that you truly love me. “
“ i don’t care if you’re sick, i don’t care if you’re contagious. i would kiss you even if you were dead. “
“ did you call me last night just ‘cause you couldn’t get laid? “
“ you’ve got me right where you want me. “
“ i know i’m a bastard, but i’m not a coward. “
“ why can’t you see what you’re doing to me? “
“ don’t worry, i’ve let you go long before you left me. “
“ nothing compares to a quiet evening alone. “
“ let’s be more than this. “
“ you wear your heart on your sleeve, i threw mine to the sky. “
“ when you use your lips, they better be on me. “
“ liars turn me on. “
“ it’s only a crime if i get caught. “
“ i can’t keep sleeping in your bed if you keep messing with my head. “
“ i can’t keep touching you like this if it’s just temporary bliss. “
“ don’t even talk about the consequences, ‘cause right now you’re the only thing that’s making any sense to me. “
“ i don’t give a damn what they say or what they think, ‘cause you’re the only one who’s on my mind. “
“ will you be mine tonight? “
“ i thought you knew that i was crazy. “
“ who the fuck do you think you are? “
“ i can never be a perfect fucking image of what you want. “
“ we’re dancing with the devil. he’ll drink you under the table. “
“ do you still want me? “
“ i won’t be angry if you have to leave. but i won’t be waiting. “
“ don’t say you’re sorry because i won’t believe you. “
“ i’ve tried so hard to be what you needed. “
“ i’ve tried for so long to make you believe that i’m not the enemy. “
“ i never wanted a partner and i never loved you. “
“ i never wanted a partner and i never loved you, so now you’re free to leave. “
“ i swear to you now, i won’t call. “
“ congratulations. go home now. “
“ stop talking to me. i haven’t been listening. “
“ music is dead thanks to you cunts. “
“ my only home is the bottom of a bottle and a rolled up bill. “
“ i am rock and roll at it’s fucking finest. “
“ self destruction is such a pretty little thing. “
“ don’t bother sleeping without one eye open wide. “
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Helpless Part 17 sorry for not posting yesterday
“So, di Angelo."
"I'm hopeless aren't I?"
"I mean there's still hope, you just need to not mess up.”
“I’m not good at that.”
“Luckily for you there’s motivation.”
“What?”
“You can’t lie until you and Nico kiss."
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!"
"Calm down, what are you hiding anyways Solace."
"When I heal people I feel all their pain, I almost killed myself, I'm useless, I'm hopelessly in love with someone who is halfway to death, I glow in the dark, I'm only alive on necter and ambrosia, I would kill every single Demeter kid right now if I could, I pass out really often but I can feel it before hand so I hide in my office when it's about to happen so no one knows. Fuck. Shit." Will ran towards the forest with tears in his eyes but Piper ran after him,
"Wait." Piper charmspoke when they were in the middle of the forest, it was dangerous but neither of them cared in that moment.
"Oh fuck you, leave me alone."
"Will-"
"If you tell anybody a word of what I said I swear to Apollo I will rip you apart limb for limb McLean." Piper shivered, Will couldn't lie...
"Breathe. In and out, I'm going to unpack a bit of what you said alright? If it's too much tell and I'll stop." Will just nodded barely breathing as Piper sat down beside him, "You feel everyone's pain when you heal them?"
"It's a trade off, if people knew they wouldn't let me heal everyone."
"Doesn't that mean you're almost constantly in pain?"
"It's worth it."
"What do you feel right now?"
"Broken rib, last time I healed Nico. I mean I feel other things from a week ago but they all would have healed a bit by now so it's not as bad. I've been on painkillers anyways, practically high on them at this point."
"That's-"
"-not heathly, I'm fully aware but I don't give two fucks."
"Alright, you tried to kill yourself? Why? Are you alright?"
"After the Manhattan battle, Michael and Lee... I was on the bridge but I met someone there. We convinced each other to not jump, I realised I couldn't leave Kay and Austin alone. They lost two older brothers in the war, they wouldn't be losing a third. I still sometimes wish I'd done it, but they can't be alone."
"Will, show me your wrists."
"No, fuck off."
"Will-"
"Don't act like you fvcking care, leave me alone."
"Will, I care. I just want to make sure you're okay, don't make me charmspeak you."
"Fine." Will muttered in tears, rolling up the sleeves of his hoodie. His arms were covered in shallow, red, cuts, Piper counted 14 on one arm and 17 on the other. She pulled the crying boy into a hug,
"I'm here for you."
"I feel so useless, I've never been on a quest, I can barely fight, I'm not half as good of a healer as Micheal was. Everyone would be better off without me, the Demeter kids agree."
"Never say that again okay? Almost all of camp would be dead without you."
"I couldn't save them, it's my fault."
"You still saved all those people; you didn't kill anyone Will."
"I didn't help them either, it's my fault they died."
"No it's not, you tried to save them."
"But I didn't."
"You can't save everyone, some people are too close to dying."
"I should have saved them."
"It's impossible to save everyone, some people are too close to death."
"Micheal could have done it."
"People die Will, death is a part of existence. You can't delay every death, it's not your fault."
"It's the only good thing about me, healing people. If I can't do that well enough what's the point of me living?"
"William Andrew Solace listen to me, you can't save everyone. Even then you're worth more than your power, clearly considering I've had twelve people come to me asking how to make you like them. You're cool, funny, loyal, ridiculously smart as in smarter than half the Athena cabin, and you actually genuinely care about everyone."
"It's just, when they die on my watch. I feel like I killed them." A few second's of silence passed,
"When was the last time you cut?" Piper asked with caution not trying to upset Will any more then he already was.
"Two days ago, when I thought Nico might not make it. The thought of him dying, fuck." A tear rolled down his face and he pulled away from the daughter of Aphrodite.
"I'm going to find you a therapist okay? Do you think that'll help?"
"Yes, but I'm too scared to open up to people. Fvcking curse, I really want to punch Lou Ellen right now."
"I'll find someone that can help."
"Thank you."
"Do you want to talk more or is it too much?"
"Too much."
"Alright, just one thing."
"Yeah?"
"Nico's halfway to death?"
"Yes, I want to lock him in the infirmary because I don't know how much longer he'll last with the amount he's eating and drinking."
"Shit."
"Weren't you meant to be giving me advice on how I can get him to like me?" Trying to change the topic, he wasn't exactly meant to be telling people this stuff.
"Oh rightttt that's what I was meant to be doing."
"I'm slightly more hopeful then I was a week ago, at least now I know he's gay."
"Who told you?" Piper asked reaching for her dagger,
"Nico...? We were playing twenty questions and I asked him if he was straight."
"Ohhh okay, so I don't need to kill anyone."
"I don't think so...?"
"Great, so Nico di Angelo, son of Hades. I think... show him you care but don't worry about him too much, honestly just be normal with him, he doesn't get that from most people. The most important thing, give him space but don't let him push you away, he does that a lot."
"Thanks McLean."
"It's my job." Piper said, messing up his hair.
"You said twelve people came to you trying to date me, who exactly were they?"
"Well it's meant to be confidential, but one of them was Leo when he first met you. Don't tell him told you, he will kill me."
"Leo Valdez? That's unexpected."
"The more you know Solace, the more you know. Anyways I should probably go, me and Annabeth are dying Percy's hair red."
"What?!"
"He's the little mermaid so naturally we're kidnapping him and dying his hair red."
"Well I wish you luck and I can't wait to see red-head Percy."
***
#percy jackson#nico di angelo#will solace#fanfic#percy jackson and the olympians#fanfiction#percy jackson fandom#solangelo#pjo#annabeth chase#percy jackson fan fiction#percy jackson fanfic#percy jackson fic#percyjackson#percy jackson fanfiction#heros of olympus#hero’s of olympus#heroes of olympus#solangelo fanfic#solangelo fic#solangelo fanfiction#reyna avila ramirez arellano#jason grace#piper McLean#Leo Valdez#hazel levesque#frank zhang#fan fic writing#fan fiction#fan fic
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the girl that kindness forgot | part 1
SUMMARY: I never knew that I’d suffer anything worse than losing my family (sans one) to a ghost. And yes, I didn’t. But I was approached by Anthony Lockwood, a man that I hate, to help him with his small-time agency. Me being me, my guilty conscious got to my head, and now look at me.
I honestly think I’m going mad.
CHAPTER ONE: REMINISCE THE GOLDEN DAYS, OLD FRIEND
I was sitting at my office desk, flicking through some digital files. They concerned information about Lockwood and Co, given to me by DEPRAC after I requested it, just to do some background research.
“Miss Hernandez, someone’s here to see you.” My assistant called, so I looked up from my computer.
“Send them in, Laila.” I busied myself in the computer again, typing fast just as two boots clicked their way across the floor. “Anthony Lockwood. You’re an hour late.” I lectured coldly, not looking up to meet the eyes of my visitor.
“I apologise for that, Ar-“
“It’s Miss Hernandez to you in my office, Lockwood.” I looked up, and we met eyes for the first time in a while. He was taller, about 5’ 7”, his cheekbones were more defined and as usual, his dark circles. The outfit was suitable for an office, though. Mine was a little… unconventional.
“Ok… Miss Hernandez. I came because I need your help.”
“If it’s money, you can leave.” I shot back, setting my jaw. I knew he was a stubborn person. It’s good he met me, then.
“It’s about ghosts.”
“What about them?”
“I want you to join my company-“
“I own one for a reason, Lockwood.” I swiftly replied. “SP3CTR is my company. I don’t work for others.”
“Hear me out.” He begged. “I know you’re a skilled ghost hunter. One of the most skilled in the world, and I need your help because DEPRAC will be on my case soon enough. Plus, the ghosts are getting more and more dangerous.”
“One, of course you know I’m skilled, we trained together. Two, DEPRAC is obviously after you, they loathe you with a burning passion. Three, when it gets too dangerous, then I can come into play. Otherwise, I need to mind my company.” I stared him down intensely, unwavering, but he didn’t back down either.
“Reminisce the golden days, old friend.” He convinced, English accent producing more clipped tones than ever.
“The golden days are over, and reminiscing is for the weak.” I spat. He smirked, drawing his rapier.
“You lost your fighting spirit.” He teased. “Shame.”
I reached for the scabbard hung on the wall and pulled out my gold rapier, gifted by my dad, brandishing it. “Over my dead body.”
“Let’s test that out, shall we?” I leapt nimbly off the desk and let our blades clash, stepping forward and making him instinctively step back, the sound of metal on metal grating our ears, but we continued anyway. “Stop playing, Miss Hernandez, I know you can do better than that.” My clandestine anger surged from its hiding spot, and I viciously flicked my blade, swiping it clean out of his grip and letting it lodge itself into the wall.
“I stopped playing.” I panted. “Are you happy now?”
“More or less.” He shrugged, a small smirk tugging at his lips. It makes me wanna-
“Wrong. You’re never satisfied, Lockwood. Not even George and that new kid of yours could balance you out.” I retorted, turning away.
“Exactly why we need you.” I reached two fingers backwards, feeling a small piece of paper slot in between my fingers. “That’s my calling card. If you’re interested, give it a ring.”
“Don’t sit on it.”
#anthony lockwood x reader#anthony lockwood#lucy carlyle#artemis hernandez#george karim#pamela joplin#lockwood and co#turstin yaris-hernandez#quill kipps#flo bones
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Twist of Fate
Word Count- 1319
Request?- Nope!
Summary- An alternate retelling around a certain party, minus one guest
Tag List- @cookielover0001010, @swag-droid , @watchoutforfrostbite
Warnings- None
At the end of the day what saved Damien's life wasn't some miracle or heroic intervention.
It was a child sneezing in his face at a party. The counselman, damned if Damien could remember his name now, just laughed and said something about kids being kids. Ever professional Damien waved it off, managing to joke right back while going for a handkerchief.
And then he woke up with a sore throat two days later.
Of course it didn't stay at just that. Voice rough as sandpaper, Damien had to phone his secretary that he wouldn't be in. If how he felt right now was anything to go by he'd be out for a few days at least. It wasn't in his nature to sit still. Not since he was a child. Especially not since he injured his leg. The time immediately after the accident was one of the worst periods in his life not only for the pain and the limitations he suddenly found on himself but for the immobility. Waiting for his body to repair itself was as painful as the torn muscles and ligaments.
Damien signed, pinching the bridge of his nose. While his colleagues convinced him to stay out of the office he could at least make some headway with these forms. Or try anyways. The constant pounding behind his eyes seemed to have other ideas.
There was a light knock on the door. "Come in," he called, voice catching against his irritated throat and sending him into a coughing fit. It was only when he recovered that he saw who it actually was.
"My friend what're you doing here?" He asked, more of a croak than anything.
The district attorney huffed. It was a fond, exasperated noise as they crossed the room. "I was told you had one foot in the grave, Dames. With that cough I don't think they were exaggerating."
Damien waved a hand, setting aside the paper he was trying and failing to parse. "You know better than to listen to their dramatics. I'm fine, just a head cold. These things-"
Damien's voice abruptly choked off in his throat as he turned, seeing the attorney's hand reach out. The back of their hand against his forehead was blissfully cool. The motion hadn't even registered until they were touching him.
"...happen," he finished lamely.
They clicked their tongue, obviously not satisfied with that answer. "You're warm. Probably been feverish all morning and ignoring your body in favor of..." Their eyes drift over the documents in front of him, "meeting minutes."
Over the years he knew well enough he was on the wrong side of this debate.
Still, he cleared his rough throat and tried to defend himself. "It's just so I can be kept up to date."
"It's because you don't know how to sit still."
They ignore Damien's squawk of protest as they snatch his papers away. "You get these back when you don't look like you'll get toppled by a stiff breeze," they wave the bundle as if to extenuate. Damien scowled. "You really don't need the patronizing."
They rolled up the meeting minutes and bopped him on the head like one would a disobedient dog. He batted their hand away as they settled down in a chair opposite his desk. The amusement in their eyes dulled some of his annoyance. Slightly.
"Really, Dames, you gotta take better care of yourself. You look absolutely miserable. If I left right now you'd be asleep at your desk within the hour."
He huffs, fiddling with other bits and bobs on his desk, putting them into place so he'd have something to do with his hands. Normally he had enough discipline to mask the habit but he chalked that up to the illness. "I'm not going to drop dead from a cold, you know. I'm a grown man. I can handle myself."
Something in their gaze softened. "I never said you couldn't. Just that there are people who would prefer to keep you around a little longer? It's alright to take a break and heal every now and then, Dames."
"I- I know that," he fidgets in his seat. Later he'd blame the fever for how much their words flustered him. They shake their head, knowing this was a well worn pattern for him at this point. Instead, they change the subject. "I'm assuming you'll be tapping out on Mark's big party then?"
"That was this weekend wasn't it," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. Though that was still a couple days away, he certainly didn't feel up to that kind of get together right now. "I haven't called yet. I had hoped I'd be over this by now."
"He'll mourn your absence with his usual drama. Not to mention sharing your portion of the alcohol." They leaned back in the chair. "I'm sure he'll just use it as an excuse to throw another one later."
"He hasn't had us all in the same room for years," Damien sighed. "Honestly? I was surprised he even planned this- considering. I had wanted to check in on everyone at least."
Hell, he hadn't heard from his sister in some time either. Though that wasn't entirely out of character for her, Damien couldn't help the concern. The tabloids had, unfortunately, left little to the imagination. Whenever Damien reached out he was met with silence.
"I just hope Will doesn't bring any guns," they frowned at the thought. "It'll be awkward enough before mixing in booze and firearms."
"They're not going to shoot each other. Give them some more credit."
The district attorney held up their hands. "I'm just saying they're both hotheads at times. I'll be sure to give you an update on the property damage afterwards."
Seeing his disappointment, they moved their chair closer. Reaching out to clasp his hand, they gave him a reassuring smile. "It won't be the last time we're all together, Dames. I promise. I bet I could get Mark to monologue you a toast too."
A laugh bubbled up out of him and it was all he could do to avoid coughing in their face. His eyes darted to their joined hands and then away again. "I'm sure. Just- be careful? We're not in our college days anymore, old friend."
A gentle squeeze and then the contact was gone. Settled back in their chair like nothing happened.
"I'm always careful," the rueful smile said otherwise. "I'll be back with stories and a hangover and hopefully you'll be able to keep your lungs on the inside by then."
With a roll of his eyes the conversation turned to work related matters. Cases on their desk and how Damien was handling the planning for re-election. In hindsight he'd wished desperately that they had talked about something of more substance. Something more meaningful than debates and fundraising.
But they didn't.
Since they didn't, he bade them a gravely farewell and only coughed once through it. They smiled, said they would bring him soup when they came by next time. The district attorney didn't say anything as they stood to leave. He didn't say anything as he watched them go.
He wishes he did when he didn't hear from them later. He wishes he did when he's pulled into an interview with police officers after the fact. He wishes he did when he first saw the newspapers and tabloids about the scandal, the party, the murders. Damien desperately wishes he could go back and tell them not to go as he views the mansion from the road. Seemingly abandoned if not for the police tape and cordon surrounding the property. Too many uniforms coming and going. Too many questions unanswered.
Everyone was gone. If not for a child sneezing on him he would have been gone along with them. He was the last one left. Damien didn't know which was fate was worse.
#damien x reader#wkm damien#writersofmark#youtuber ego#reader insert#markiplier ego x reader#ego fanfic#my wriitng
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The Road Ahead of Us - TWD Season 2
The Walking Dead Fanfiction
MASTERLIST
They had left Atlanta behind, trying to reach Fort Benning; but during an apocalypse nothing ever goes at it is planned. Sarah and Nicolette will have to face new challenges and dangers. How will they survive?
<< Previous - Next >>
CHAPTER 22
NICOLETTE
Nicki was more sure every day that Shane was getting crazier by the day. He was jumpy, aggressive, and impulsive. He had pulled Carl in that way; he never did that. Treating him as if he was his son.
Nicolette had tried to find the Little Shit after he ran away, but she didn't manage. So she decided to take a walk around the farm. The whole Randall situation was getting her agitated; his only presence managed to do so. And she didn't like it.
She had been scared before; she had witness a city fall, her friends die, a man tried to burn them alive, she had seen Sophia getting back as a walkers, but those were creatures. No thinking creatures, they walked and ate. People, however, were another matter. They could think, and people like Randall's group seemed to enjoy hurting others. She never thought she would be scared of humans in that situation, but she was.
"Carol, send ya?" Daryl's voice made her look up. She hadn't realized she had arrived at his self-made camp. He was looking at his arrows, gathering them, and with him, there was Dale.
"Carol's not the only one that's concerned about you," Dale said.
"Sarah?" he asked again, but Dale shook his head.
"Not just them," Dale said again, "With your new role in the group."
That was true, Daryl was growing on everyone in the group, well, maybe everyone except from Shane. But after what had happened to Sophia, they all realized that there was more of Daryl Dixon than they had noticed before.
"Oh man, I don' need ma head shrunk," Daryl scoffed, bending over to take some other arrows, "This group is broken," at his words, Nicki put herself behind a tree, wanting to listen to what they were going to say at that point and she was afraid that if they'd noticed her, they would have dropped the subject.
"I'm better off fending for myself," Nicki remembered that he moved away just after Sophia died. He could act tough all he wanted, but she was sure that if he moved, it was not because he had enough of all of them. Not after he beat up Randall to know what they all risked.
"You act like you don't care," Dale said. Dale was watching Daryl take a step towards a tree where his jacket was hanging.
"Yeah," Daryl replied, "It's 'cause I don'."
"So live or die, you don't care what happens to Randall?" Dale said, observing Daryl closely, but he didn't wait even a second to answer that he didn't, "Then why don't you stand with me and try to save the kid's life? If it really doesn't matter one way or the other," Dale suggested. And Nicki frowned.
Why did he want to save that kid so badly? From what she had understood, threats should be eliminated. Randall was a threat, so why try to save me? His group had attacked Rick, Glenn, and Hershel, and it was to kill them. And then, they figured out what their group did to people. They were dangerous. They were a threat.
"Didn't peg you for a desperate son of a bitch," Daryl answered.
"Your opinion makes a difference," Dale said, trying to convince him.
"Man, ain't nobody lookin' at me for nothin'," Daryl answered, taking his crossbow, ready to walk away.
"Carol is," Dale said, following, "Sarah is," Daryl stopped walking, "And I am. Right now," the hunter turned to the older man who kept talking, "And you obviously have Rick's ear."
That was true, Rick trusted Daryl more.
That seemed to piss Daryl off as he hissed, "Rick just looks to Shane. Let 'im."
"You cared about what happened to Sophia," Nicki found herself looking at the ground at the mention of the girl's name by Dale, "Cared what it meant to the group," that seemed to have gotten Daryl's attention as he became to walk back towards Dale.
"Torturing people?" Dale kept saying, "This isn't you. You are a decent man," Nicki said. She was sure that if Sarah had been there, she would have agreed with what Dale was saying. She often defended Daryl when the others didn't trust him, "So is Rick. Shane… he's different."
Dale didn't trust Shane too, she had noticed that and she was curious to know what Daryl thought about the man.
"Why's that?" Daryl asked, "'Cause he killed Otis?"
Nicolette's eyes widened. She knew it was like that. She had been thinking that for a long time now.
"He told you that?" Dale asked, his eyes wide but not surprised. Would Shane really say something to Daryl? Something so confidential?
"He told some story," Daryl began to explain, "How Otis covered for him, saved his ass. He showed up with the dead guy's gun," she had noticed that, but others didn't, maybe if they'd listened to their conversation something would have rung a bell, "Rick ain't stupid. If he didn't figure that out, it's 'cause he didn't wanna," the started to walk towards the woods, "It's like I said… the group it's broken."
Could Rick really let Shane go around after he killed a man? Of course, Shane getting back was the only reason Carl was alive, but by killing someone… was Rick letting that slide? Seeing how Shane was behaving.
"Ya listened, alright?" Nicki's head shot up when she noticed Daryl standing by the tree.
"How long did you know?" she asked, still kneeling on the ground.
"Ya make a lot 'f noise for a quiet girl," he said, fixing the position of his crossbow over his shoulder, "Your sister knows ya here?" Nicki shook her head as she stood up.
"But better you than Shane," she answered, and he looked closely at her.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because Sarah trusts you more than she does with Shane," Nicki answered cooly. He noticed him chewing the side of his cheek before heading towards the trees.
"So Shane killed Otis," Nicki said following him.
"Ya can't come," Daryl scoffed.
But Nicki ignored him. "Are we safe with him?"
"Randall?" Daryl asked with a frown.
"Shane," Daryl stopped, taking a breath before turning to her, "Go back to your sister. Everything's fine."
"I think he is dangerous," she stated, looking up at the man, "I'm afraid of what he may do."
The twilight arrived soon. Nicolette had spent her time shooting her arrows against trees or targets. She needed to feel ready, she didn't like to feel so jumpy. The woods now seemed even more dark, and the girl asked herself how long it would have taken for Randall's friends to find them.
As the sun started to disappear over the horizon, Nicki got back to the house, like she had promised to Sarah. The adults would all be there, they had the meeting to decide what was going to happen to Randall. As she was walking, Carl's frame caught her eye; he, too, was heading toward the house.
"Look who's here," she said, her tone flat as she observed his clothes, "Have you been rolling on the ground?" his pants were dirty with mud.
"You're so annoying," he muttered, passing next to her.
"Thank you," she answered, following him. They walked in silence for a bit, but she could see him glaring at her from time to time.
"What?" Nicki asked with a frown.
"You always shoot without fear," he stated, annoyed, and that got her confused.
"I don't think I'm following," she admitted, and he just scoffed.
"You're really annoying."
Nicolette usually had no problem with the Little Shit being pissed at her, she even found it funny, but at least she would have liked to know what she did so as to annoy him more.
They arrived at the house, where Lory was waiting for her son, while the other entered the house, "I want you to stay with Jimmy."
"But I want to listen," Carl protested.
Lori shook her head, "Not this time."
Nicki got closer to the woman, "Is Sarah inside?" she asked, and Lori nodded her head, leading the three of them inside.
*******
If you liked it, please leave a ♥️ and reblog!
#the walking dead imagine#the walking dead oc#the walking dead fanfiction#the walking dead#twd oc#twd fanfiction#twd imagine#twd#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixion imagine#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon x y/n#daryl Dixon#carl grimes#carl grimes x oc#carl grimes x y/n#carl grimes fanfiction#daryl dixon x oc
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Strawberries & Memories - Chapter 2 - It's Beautiful Isn't it?
Hi. This is the second chapter of my brand new book. I'm really excited about it and it would mean a lot if you shared it or gave me some feedback on it.
Summary for Strawberries & Memories: Anna went to the Coachella Music Festival to finally see her idol perform in person. Little did she know that would end up changing her life forever in ways she never even dared dream of. But everything comes at a cost.
Chapter index
Chapter 1
I really hope you enjoy this story as much as i enjoy writing it
"You're lying right?"
I shake my head, unable to suppress the massive grin threatening to break out on my face. "I am dead fucking serious, Morgs."
While I wait for her to process, I take in the calming sound of the waves rolling over the sandy beach before retracting back into the ocean again and the warm sun hitting my skin. My sunburnt skin.
I need to start remembering to wear sunscreen when I'm here. Or anywhere with sun and the danger of getting sunburnt.
I did my best to avoid getting sand in my shoes, but the second I stepped onto the beach, that game was lost. Under normal circumstances, I would have been grumpy and frustrated about it until I was back
"You're telling me that the man you've been drooling over since you were a teenager invited you out for drinks...and you said no?" I flinch when she screams the last part, grimacing at the unnecessarily loud volume.
"Jeez. Calm down please.", I plead, deciding to just sit down in the sand. My phone is in my tote bag, probably getting the screen in worse condition than it already is as Morgan keeps scolding me for being responsible and not going out with someone who's virtually a stranger.
"...finally getting some action. You know if you keep not taking opportunities like these, then you're going to end up being the grumpy cat lady who is mean to everyone but her cats."
"At least I would be the cool aunt to your kids.", I point out, expecting her to argue it. But instead, she changes the topic, "So since you obviously weren't busy with a man these last two days I haven't heard from you. What were you doing?"
"I've been getting busy with my laptop."
Margot giggles, "I hope you hear how sad that sounds, Anna. You're in LA and you're couped up in a café and your hotel room with your laptop instead of doing something you can't do back home."
I know she's right. But there isn't a lot I can do about it. When inspiration strikes, I have to use it. Because there is very little that compares to when the block finally eases up and everything you've wanted to get out just flows out just the way you want it to.
"I am outside now. And not at a café. To socialise.", I defend my life choices even though I know she isn't going to change her mind. She rarely ever does.
It's one of the things I love most about her.
"Whatever you say, baby." Morgan doesn't sound convinced at all. "I gotta go. I've got a hot date waiting for me."
"You better tell me all about them when I get home tomorrow night."
We say our goodbyes rather quickly. The second she hangs up; Spotify resumes my playlist. It has an instant calm wash over me when the familiar melody to 'Night Changes' starts. The same way the water does the beach.
I've always had a love for music in general. Not just because music is something truly and undeniably beautiful. It's also the ability it has to make me go from devastatingly sad to dancing with joy in a beat. And vice versa. Or the way it can transport you back to a moment you've tied to the song so effortlessly you don't even notice it until the memory is playing like a movie in your head.
It still feels surreal that I've met the man who's written a lot of the songs that gave me the strength to keep clawing myself back off the edge when all I'd wanted to do was let go.
I'm honestly convinced I had a stroke at some point and these past few days are just a figment of my own imagination while my body is in a coma somewhere. And I have a tube stuffed down my throat and the doctors have decided I'm brain dead and they're about to pull the plug so all my organs can be donated to the dumpsters.
If against all odds, that's not the case, then the last two days I've done a few things.
1. I've found a new favourite café to sit and write at. It has the cutest little stuffed bunnies everywhere and little cookies shaped like seals.
2. I have written at the café.
3. I have talked to Harry Styles.
I still don't fully understand what possessed Harry to actually DM me instead of just unfollowing me the second I left on Saturday. But he did. And I can't say that I have been complaining about it.
I have learnt two things about him.
1. He is genuinely funny.
2. He is also clinically insane.
He would have to be for asking me to meet him. Again.
I threw my phone across the room when the words 'would you want to meet' were in the grey bubble on my screen. From him. I might also have screamed as if I was dying, but that's beside the point.
And what else could I answer him with but, 'Are you on drugs right now?'. And I stand by that. What else was I supposed to say? Something normal?
Like, just say no? Probably would've been the best thing for me to say considering I'm not even half as stable as a normal person should be. But after Harry assured me that he was 100% not on any kind of drugs and promised no one had a gun to his or his loved ones' head, we agreed that he would pick me up here.
I still don't know what or why he wants to see me again, but it's too late to talk myself out of it now.
He told me to meet him here at 3. And looking at the time right now, it's in two minutes.
I'm never on time, but I am for sure not going to be late when I am meeting him.
"Ok, Anna. You can do this.", I tell myself, doing my best to focus on the distant sound of the traffic that's almost completely drowned out by the waves.
Almost.
The beach is around a five-minute drive from the highway. I couldn't see any clear point I was supposed to get out of the taxi, so I just told him to drop me off when he was starting to get a little impatient.
I sent Harry a photo of where I settled on getting out of the taxi. So hopefully he manages to find it.
The taxi driver was a sweetheart though. He even asked me if I was sure I wanted to be dropped off in the middle of nowhere.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?"
With wide eyes, I snap my head towards the sound of the voice. If it had been anyone else, I would've probably jumped out of my skin from someone suddenly sitting down next to me without me noticing until they speak.
I clear my throat, doing the best I can to push away the nerves that have been bubbling in my stomach ever since I opened my eyes this morning.
Don't say something stupid now.
"Yeah, it is pretty." Ok, that's not the stupidest thing I've ever said. We're good. "Hi."
Harry's smile grows wider, his bunny teeth coming into view as I feel my own smile grow as well.
What can I say? He has an infectious smile.
His curls are mostly pushed back and out of his face by his hands. But a few, short strands have fallen over his forehead and temples despite the comfortable breeze coming from the ocean. The ends of the hair barely brush against his eyelashes. They move every time he blinks.
He must have noticed me staring at it because he lets out a light laugh while pushing the rebel hairs back with the rest, "I forgot to grab my clip, so it keeps falling in my eyes."
"That happens to the best of us. I have a spare hair tie if you want it?", I offer, already rolling it off my wrist. Harry takes it, quickly and skilfully gathering a large section of hair on the top of his head and twisting it around his finger until it's a little ball. That's when he seals it with the hair tie.
"Thank you, Anna." I cock an eyebrow at the way he emphasizes my name. "You're welcome, Harry."
Harry wrinkles his nose a little, his eyebrows scrunching together, "That feels a little weird."
"What's weird?", I ask confused. "No, no, no.", he sits up a little straighter, probably getting more sand on his brown, wide-legged trousers. "I like my name. But all my friends call me H. It's just strange when you say Harry."
I feel like my eyes are about to pop out of my head.
Do. Not. Say something stupid. "You're not allowed to call me A.", I tell him seriously.
I've watched two seasons of Pretty Little Liars. And what I learnt from it is that nothing good ever comes from someone called 'A'. I'm not saying I'm this really great person who only brings good into the world. But at least I don't send encrypted texts and torment a group of teenagers.
"Ok. Deal. I won't call you A and you don't call me Harry." He holds his hand out between us expectantly. His fingers are curled up into a fist apart from his pinkie.
"I might call you Harry. But on very rare occasions." "Deal."
I wrap my own pinkie around his, squeezing it firmly while nodding, "You can't go back on a pinkie promise." "Oh, pinkie promises are holier than marriage, darling."
"Does this mean I'm your friend?", I have to ask to make sure I don't just assume something he doesn't mean. Because he just said his friends call him H. He didn't actually call me his friend. If I just went around thinking we weren't. That would be way too embarrassing. Even for me.
Harry releases the hold his thumb and pointer finger had on his bottom lip, his smile dropping. "Do you not want to be? I- I'm so sorry, Anna. I completely just assumed. But if it makes you more comfortable, we could be sworn enemies or something."
He furrows his eyebrows, scowling at me playfully as if he was actually mad at me while gesturing to his face "I can be angry and scary. Just look at this."
My hand flies up to stifle my mouth to stifle a laugh while he keeps up the 'angry' face. "You look like an angry kitten."
Harry shoves me playfully, "You're a dick." "At least I don't push people.", I roll my eyes at him while brushing off the sand on my left arm from catching myself on the sandy ground.
He points a stern finger at me, "I only push people when they insult my angry face. It is very scary. You've just been around too many scary people to know." He justifies his actions as he stands back up off the ground, stretching his hand out for me to take.
"By scary people do you mean Morgan?", I ask him with a cocked eyebrow. I accept the gesture hesitantly, not fully trusting him not to drop my ass to the ground. He keeps a strong grip on my hand, helping me off the sand with ease as he nods, "She seems pretty terrifying from what you've told me." He doesn't even bat an eye when I thank him with an obnoxiously high voice. He just offers me a soft smile.
If he doesn't run for the hills now, I'll be more surprised than I was when he asked me to meet him here.
"She is pretty great though.", I say softly. Harry hums, "That's great."
He is wearing a white t-shirt with brown and beige stripes tucked into his trousers. It looks immaculate. There should be some kind of law against it to be honest.
I trail after him when he motions for me to follow him.
"So, did you have anything specific in mind. Or did you just plan on walks on the beach and kidnappings?", I ask him after walking in wordlessly for a bit, kind of regretting breaking the serene calm that came from the waves.
If Morgan would be up for it, maybe moving to LA wouldn't be such a bad idea. Or at least to somewhere with beaches like these.
Harry takes a minute, keeping a slow, steady pace as the sand dips beneath our feet. "I was going to ask if you had anything you wanted to do in LA before I suggest anything.", he explains, making a wide grin spread on my face before he adds, "This is your first time here, right?"
I ignore the warm feeling in my stomach from the fact that he remembers that I told him this is my first time in California. Instead, I play it off. "Do you mean at this beach or in Los Angeles in general?"
"Please tell me you're not trying to be funny right now, Anna.", he pleads. "Because that's just sad."
I scoff, pretending to be offended, "It's better than some of the jokes you've come up with." "What do you mean? My jokes are amazing. You just have no humour." Harry turns his nose up and away from me. The sun is making the higher points of his face stand out more and it's getting harder to keep myself serious.
"Sure, H. I'm the one with no humour, Mr. let's start a conversation with the worst pick-up line I've ever heard."
Harry purses his lips, blowing out air in disappointment, "Don't you know that the foundation for every good friendship is a good pick-up line?" I take a second, debating to myself whether or not I should comment on it while also trying not to laugh.
I decide to just agree with him. "Sure, H. Whatever you say. And to answer your question." Harry perks up at that, directing his full attention back to me. "No, I didn't have anything I wanted to do in LA."
"You're fucking with me, right? You go to LA for the first time, and you don't have anything planned other than Coachella?" When I shake my head, Harry walks faster than before, grabbing my forearm to make sure I'm keeping up with him.
I laugh at how much this seems to be bothering him, "I've had a really nice time, though. I've been working. And I'm going home tomorrow anyways."
"If you're leaving tomorrow, we have to get going.", he tells me, changing direction from going straight forward to away from the sealine and to a car parked just where the sand begins.
"Where are we going?"
Harry twists his head to look at me, still nearly speed-walking to his car, "We're going sightseeing."
-
Masterlist
#harry#harry smut#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles blurb#harry styles fluff#harry styles masterlist#harry styles imagine#harry styles x reader#harry styles smut#harry styles#one direction#fanfiction#masterlist#coachella#harrychella
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TW trauma mention
My body is getting more difficult to handle again.
It feels like burnout.
The exhaustion, the dizzyness, difficulties with sensorimotor coordination, diffivulties with seeing, insomnia...
It takes so many hours for me to switch from one task to another,
all the terrible memories crawl into consciousness when I am at my weakest. which makes it additionally difficult.
It gets harder and harder to give this very aching body compassion.
I crave to have time and energy to do what I enjoy, but instead all time and energy is consumed by tasks I hate, shitty food intake, shopping groceries, traveling thru the exorbitant large city, standing the intense noises and brightness,
...
I want calm.
I.. do not know.
I want the diabetes to be better managable. I do not want these unforeseen peaks and random insuline resitance to occurr in phases of large stress.
please, I just want to know how I can at least better optimizie my energy handling.
Getting more and more restful sleep is of high priority, but this problem goes hand in hand with the worrying and attemtping to find solutions to an unsolvable problem, and that I fail to calm my mind, especeially when i am at my weakest.
the worrying goes in all directions: what i did wrong some years ago so I dont have access to a medical institution that could at least possibly help. I made mistakes and behaved poorly, I did not know what i know now. heck, I was not able to reflect, because i was still in this bubble of thinking my mother's delusions about me and the world were right. damn, I made so much wrong. and it is not possible this medical institution would ever get I really changed. I now have my stamp there, and it is impossible to get rid of that.
no amount of rational behavior could convince them I am not just seeking attention.
it is such a complex and entangled problem constellation, that really no one is "at fault" for that shitty suffering, it is just a bunch of very shitty automatical behavior/decisions on my behalf, miscommunication from both sides, misunderstandings, and sadly that I was to afraid to tell this psychotherapist he reminds me of my father in regards that make me very passive aggressive.
No amount of rational behavior could convince this therapist that his prior opinion of myself should need to be reevaluated if he tells things like:
"Autism has nothing to do with why you are here." (I was in a trauma therapy)
(implying autism and ones own biography are separapable and autism has no significant effect upon ones own biography)
or
"It is not that you cant, it is that you dont want to. "(In regards to understanding other people[empathy]
or
"Diabetes is just a very common illness."
(implying it is no trauma, because it is just a very common illness. (what sort of logical fallacy lis behind this deficitary argumentationn???? ) I could not even tell him about how it feels to be almost dyivg from dehydration after more than a week of drinking more than 7 liters a day and pissing out more. or how it feels to getting said, after like 10 days, the mother bringing her dehydrated diabetic child in the clinic to get first treatement for the onset of diabetes: "You have luck! One more day and you would have been dead! "(If I knew earlier, I would have been runned away and would have preferred to die.)
or the fact that this diabetes is still, up to this day, very difficult to manage.
Damn, I was 7 when I got it, I was primarily left alone with that birthgiver who had no time for her kids.
damn. it was/is a chronic illness. I got it as KID! it changed everything! It impacted everything since then!
It is regarded as trauma even if a family member gets a chronic disease. why not if a kid, oneself, gets a chronic disease with getting told "You have luck. one more day and you would have been dead. " and I cannot forget how it feels to almost die from dehydration. I CANNOT forget this part! because it IS ceverely life-threatening! But why is it not regardedjas trauma?
Because "it is just diabetes and vers many people have diabetes. "
I do not know whether I should grief not having this therapist anymore or seeing that he has too many incompetent features.
I mean, he is not able to see complexity,
he seems not to be able or not willing to see from other (my) perspectives,
I have huge difficulties, because now I am blaming HIM. am I blaming him? Or am I just stating what I find unhelpful about how he attempted to help me?
Because I am so confused about all the stuff he wrote in the letter.
He mixes things I find difficult about myself too, with interpretations that are so far-fetched and leave out so many details, that you can smell the cherry-picking out of this piece of paper...
It is like: WHAT!????
He also brought the basic statement of: "shows histrionic features, because dresses strangely, is an artist and has published books in niche topics (implying i feel like something better, because "niche topic" implies "only superior people are interested" - hint: it is not the case. it is just the case that I am interested in topics most people dont care about. i publish because I just want that shit to be published if i create it anyway. also: i have no problem with getting critique. ))
... I had to literally decrypt his letter about my patient case, and it left me very very confused and... I understaood why the therapy was not helpful there. there were sooo many misunderstandings, and if i attempted to explain he used the rhetorics of "feels misunderstood because (s)he is narcisstic" and "you do nt have to justify yourself. "(heck, i do not justify myself, I explain. Justifiying would mean that I think my behavior is alright andmdoes not need to be improved. Explaining means I want to clarify myself and add important details: i am not saying my behavior is okay. It does not excuse my behavior. I just attempt to find a consensual and open communication.
and it was so diffcult to get into a rational conversation with him, because he was so focused on talking in a different communication channel than I was in. (common problem between neurotypical and autistic people: autist says something in the communication channel of the factual level, neurotypical is mostly in the emotional/relationshio communication channel and implies hidden intentions behind my intentionless factual level words... I mean. It is a basic concept of how miscommunication happens. )
I feel like... It is pointless to think about contacting this therapist again, because, like, the communication does not work at all.
I do not even know why I consider contacting him for getting to talk about it and possible further therapy options.
Perhaps I think the reason is just, because many psychotherapists have not enough experience with complex trauma (on the other hand, he seems to be unhelpful for me as well, as in: his ignorance in regards of autism and our difficulty to getting into a common rational conversation) and it is like... annoying to think about it.
But one thing I think would still be helpful:
I would like to make an appointment and talk with him about the two letters he wrote about my case. I would like to hear his clarifications, and I would also like to tell him the results of my reflection of the previous 2 years. I also want to know how I can proceed with my life now since the contact to the mother is finally broken up, and since i have realized the reality loss i was in due to - really some self esteem delusions, that were really delusional.
Now that I have typed all that here in tumblr.
... I will delete it soon, but I had to get it off my mind.
why am i still publishing this post?
i publish such posts, because I think, perhaps, sometimes anyone reading such types of my posts could help me reflect about what to do or how I could think about it.
yet, I am sorry if I trigger anyone with my often detailled descriptions of the shit - or if it gets annoying. In this case I encourage you to take care of yourself and hit the unfollow button.
#trauma#tw trauma#chronic illness#knottys complains#whining ranting and reflecting#this memory soup is extremely spicy#better add some sugar but dont sugarcoat it#autism#neurodivergent
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3/8/24
It's another one of those days where I tell myself I'm not going to smoke, but I have no idea how well I'll succeed. I made a short post last night, just vague posting and getting a few thoughts off my chest. But nothing deep.
I feel stupid for posting about my addiction, but at the same time it's the only way I know how to possibly find people like me. Who can become very addicted to weed. I don't have any friends to go to about it because they all smoke and are fine -- or at least, they convince me they aren't addicted and that it's impossible on weed. But what else would you call something that you crave so intensely you're scrapping the bottom of a bag or grinder to get one hit? What else would you call something that you can't control yourself from taking as soon as you wake up? What else would you call something that's meant to make you feel good, but after doing it every day, all day, for several years you get stuck in a cycle of giving in, swearing to go sober/quitting, and then turn around and continue doing it? Every. Single. Day. For the past two years I have sworn to finally quit smoking weed but I just can't get away from it. My body feels like it needs it and I'm miserable.
It doesn't even get me high anymore.
More below the cut for those interested, and so I'm not clogging timelines with a long post. My content isn't for everyone. Please scroll by if you think weed isn't addictive and if you argue with me you'll just get blocked. That's not what I need when I'm just trying to recover.
I miss the person I was before I started smoking. I was so productive and successful; I wrote and exercised everyday. My emotions were better regulated. I felt like I could do anything.
I started smoking a lot later than most people -- 24. And as much as I would like to blame my ex for the addiction, I'm more to blame for my own addiction than anyone else. It started when I was writing an essay on Emily Dickinson and the soul, and weed helped me a lot with writing this piece. At least, for awhile. Soon after, I was getting high every evening to work on the essay, but I'd get distracted and ignore my work. It just sort of spiraled after that.
There are a lot of good reasons why I want to quit. First of all, I want to be a better woman. I want to be the strong woman I used to me -- not this weepy bag who can't even stand the thought of driving myself anymore. Where did all my strength go? Where did all my independence and will go? I wanna be a better woman not only for myself, but for my fiancé. He's very supportive of me, and says that we all have our vices -- doesn't care if I continue smoking or if I quit and will support me no matter which I do. But I need to stop smoking for him, too. He deserves sober-me. He's not only the best man, but the best person I have ever met in my entire life. He deserves the sober-me much more than my ex deserved it, but he's hardly gotten to experience it. He deserves a woman who can do anything and be level-headed. Not the emotional wreck I am on weed.
I'm also already a naturally paranoid person. I don't know how to explain it other than ever since I was a kid I've been prone to extreme paranoia. I've always seen terrifying images in my head and I get concerned that they'll actually happen before my eyes, no matter how off the wall it is. Let me clarify, I never hallucinate (not even on shrooms or acid have I hallucinated), I just have an overactive imagination. Weed, obviously, intensifies this feeling. Sometimes the paranoia is crippling; I'm frozen in fear whether it's in bed or at my desk or in the living room. It can become overwhelming.
Third, I want to go back to school. It's nearing the 3 year mark since I've gotten my Master's degree and I haven't gotten any jobs with it. Granted, it's difficult to do something with my degree in my area and I'm a bitch about having to move. But I'm in a dead-end part time job now that's pushed me into wanting something more. Specifically, wanting what my original plan in life was -- get a PhD and become a professor. Focus my career on academia. It's what I'm good at, and it's what I enjoy doing. I've missed the college space so much. I've missed the research that goes into essays and the excitement I used to get while writing. If I go back for my PhD, I can't continue to be on this fucking drug. I can't do the work I need to while being constantly stoned. How do I know? Because I could barely balance the work-weed balance as I was finishing up my MA. Weed stifled my academic work so much to the point that I almost didn't graduate; if I go for a PhD I have to be sober. There's literally no other option. I have to take it seriously. I cannot do the work I need to while getting stoned every day.
I feel miserable and cranky every day, and the good mood I get from smoking only lasts for so long and then I become grumpy again. Yesterday my grumpy attitude ruined a nice evening out with my fiancé -- he says it didn't, but I feel horrible about the ordeal.
I'm ready to quit. I've been ready to quit for about a year now with no success. I think the furthest I've gotten in the past year is 2 days without weed. Since I started smoking, the further I've gone without is a whole month -- I really don't know (or remember) how I did it. I don't know how to start, or how to keep cravings away. I'm just so frustrated, I want my ambition back. I want my drive and energy back. I want to be even better than I was before. But I can't with this drug holding me down and making me completely numb and lazy.
Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. I really don't know what to do when the cravings start to hit within another hour or so. I guess the good thing is that I'm all out of weed right now, and while I could go get more it would involve going to the bank to get out cash. Hoping that prevents me from giving in today.
Maybe I'll just write on here when the cravings hit. Just write about how I'm feeling until it goes away. I really don't know. I'm just going insane with this kind of lifestyle and I can't do this anymore. I have to become sober again. The good thing is, leading up to this point, I have decreased how much I've smoked. I went from 3 joints a day to 1 joint a day recently. Quitting cold turkey scares me, but I guess I'm about to attempt it, because I really don't wanna drop $100 on something I wanna quit doing.
Again, let me know anything that's helped any of you quit if you're out there and reading. I would greatly appreciate the advice.
Iris🪻
#recovery#recovering stoner#weed recovery#tw addiction#weed addiction#substance abuse#self help#sobriety#diary
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