#He is now dating the girl he cheated on me with at LEAST twice FOUR years ago :-)
Text
I want to murder the love I feel for the man that cheated on me twice and beat the fuck out of me every day while claiming he loved me more than anything
#He is now dating the girl he cheated on me with at LEAST twice FOUR years ago :-)#so awesome and great for me to know they probably stayed in contact that whole time! love that!#found out bc he got a text and it said ‘I could kiss you all day’.#while we were together and everything was fine. I don’t understand why he did that.#this shit literally makes me want to off myself lol#and it fucking sucks because we dated for five years and it was so good for so long#and I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone#but there’s nothing I can do#he also was the one who got me addicted to fentanyl.#and as soon as he went to rehab and got sober he left me. I wasn’t clean yet and could have died and he just left.#found out soon after he’d been seeing her.#when he cheated he sent me multiple pictures of her naked and her in our bed.#and my dumbass got back together with him.#every time#I was fucked up before this relationship but now I am literally irreparable#I can’t heal from this shit#he’d tell me to kill myself#and say he wished I was dead#knowing how difficult shit was for me and how suicidal I was#he’d strangle me and spit on me and trip me and punch me in the face#he’d constantly tell me I ruined every aspect of his life and that I was the worst thing that ever happened to him.#then he’d tell me that I’m abusive because of my mental illnesses.#I’m so tired :(#I’m so fucking damaged and broken from this shit I cannot even put it into words.#abuse tw#physical abuse tw#physical abuse cw
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fine China
pairing ➩ Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, Natasha x Sam (Modern AU)
warnings ➩ depression, addiction, alcohol, pills, angst, sad ending, cheating
synopsis ➩ Based off 'Fine China' by Lana Del Rey
word count ➩ 1.9k
You stare at the white dress you once loved so dearly. “Yeah, of course you can have it, Natasha.”
“I’m so sorry this happened to you again. I know what I’m asking is insensitive, but this, it really means a lot.”
“It’s okay, Nat. You’re going to look stunning. I’ve been left on my wedding day, twice, think I have a problem, and until I figure that out, I can’t be anywhere near this shit.”
“Thank you so much. God I love you.”
“I love you too. I’m so happy for you.”
“I know this is asking a lot, but will you be my maid of honor?”
“I’d love to.” You put on your best fake smile. But as soon as she leaves, you slide down your wall, screaming to numb the pain you’ve been through in
Four years ago
I wore diamonds for the birth of your baby
For the birth of your son
Steve Rogers always wanted a child, just his fatherly nature I guess. His ex-wife, Margaret, has always been a third in your relationship. You get the call while getting your makeup and hair done, quickly getting off your chair to drive to the hospital. You were shocked that this baby is coming out, considering it a month before his due date. Peggy manages to look gorgeous even while going through one of the most painful things known to man. “Hey sweetheart, can we talk in private for a second?” Steve pulls you into the hall.
“Oh, of course.”
On the same day, my husband-to-be
Packed his things to run
“I’m so sorry , Y/n, my family is the most important thing to me right now.”
“I thought I was your family.”
“I love them.”
“I know that but do you really, y’know, love her that way?”
“I do.”
“You were supposed to say that to me.” You half-heartedly chuckle.
“Can you not joke right now.”
“Fuck you Steve. I gave up everything for you, I listened to you, I stayed with you after you cheated on me and impregnated Peggy, I was even gonna raise a child with you at 25.”
Was bittersweet to say the least
One life begins, one comes undone
You drive away from the hospital, speeding home to drink copious amounts of alcohol.
I've always been a strong woman of faith
Strong like a tree, but the unlucky one
You haven’t cried in years. When you went through your first break-up, you vowed never to cry over a boy again. And you didn’t. But right now, in this situation, you figure that it constitutes a few tears.
I'm going down now
With all of my
You feel broken. After suppressing every painful event in your life for nine years, you finally express your emotions. It’s a rough night, and all you could do was cry until you couldn’t anymore.
Fine china and fresh linen
All of my dresses with them tags still on them
You get a storage unit, and keep everything from your wedding that never happened, hoping that one day, you would get to use it for real.
Fine china and dull silver
My white horses and my ivory almonds
“You’re a beautiful girl, sure you want to mess with this stuff.”
“Give me the goddamn pills, Luke.”
I guess they really got the best of us, didn't they?
They said that love was enough, but it wasn’t
You think of the time you almost broke up with Steve. It was when Peggy found out she was pregnant, but the two of you had been together for a year, meaning that he cheated without a doubt. Your friends tried to help, but the best they could muster was a question. “Do you love him?”
“I do, yeah.”
“Then maybe that’s your answer.”
The Earth shattered, the sky opened
The rain was fire, but we were wooden
All hell broke loose, as all of your friends found out Steve left you. Some of them were understanding, some of them dropped him immediately. One of those being Bucky Barnes, who was the only person who didn’t talk to you like you could break at any moment. And over the next year, you fell in love, the next year you got engaged. And now, three years after Steve broke your heart, you find yourself getting ready to be wed. You can’t believe you’re finally going to live your dream.
I wore diamonds for the day of our wedding
For our day in the sun
You felt beautiful in your dress. “Y/n . We need to talk.”
“Buck, you’re not supposed to see me, it’s like, bad luck or whatever.” You let out a little laugh. You were never the superstitious type.
On the same day, my mother-to-be said she wouldn't come
“My mom, she’s not coming.”
“Oh god, is she sick or something. It would be a little tricky, but we could figure out rescheduling.”
“No, she’s just refusing to come.”
“I thought your mom liked me. Did I do something wrong?”
“No, it’s not you, it’s just, I told her about your little pill problem.”
“What are you talking about”
“Don’t play dumb, I know you’re not on anti-depressants like you say. I may not be a doctor but I have Google.”
It's always been that way with me
No time for change, no time for fun
“Okay I’m sorry for lying, but what gave you the right to rifle through my stuff, and then talk to your mom instead of me about it?”
“I can’t do this.”
“Can’t do what? Wait, you’re not talking about, no, what the fuck James? No, this, it can’t be happening again.”
It's always been that way, it seems
One love begins, one comes undone
“I’m so sorry, Y/n, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t sit back and watch as you kill yourself.”
“Oh my god, so you’re leaving me because I like to relax.”
“It’s not just pills you’re addicted to, you’re addicted to me.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means you’re like a leach, sucking the life force out of me. You’re never satisfied.”
“I didn’t want you to leave like Steve did.”
“I know.”
“You know?”
“I do.”
“I’m never gonna hear you say those words, am I?”
“I don’t know, Y/n, maybe one day.”
I'm going down now
With all of my
“So, I’ll do whatever I have to, I wanna be with you, I’ll get help. I’ll go to therapy, I’ll do whatever it takes, just please. Please.”
“I love you, Y/n, I always will.”
Fine china and fresh linen
All of my dresses with them tags still on them
Back to your storage unit, everything goes. You really thought this was it. You’re a fucking idiot.
Fine china and dull silver
My white horses and my ivory almonds
You try to get clean, and you manage to stay that way for three months. But one day, when you couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky and your sponsor was on vacation, you take a little trip to your favorite dealer. “Hey, haven’t seen you in awhile. You getting sober or something?”
“Went to rehab, stayed off drugs for a guy. I’m just gonna ruin my chance with him, I guess.”
“You sure you wanna do that?”
“Fuck him, I need to think about me.”
I guess they really got the best of us, didn't they?
They said that love was enough, but it wasn’t
“I’m using again Bucky, and I’m not gonna stop.”
“Please don’t do this.”
The Earth shattered, the sky opened
The rain was fire, but we were wooden
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Present day
All of my, all of my fine china
After five drinks and two pills, you get up on the little stage area that was set up.
All of my, all of my fine china
“Hey guys, as the maid of honor, I would like to say congratulations to my best friend and her wonderful new husband, Sam. But oh my god, if I hear anyone compliment the table cloth, dishes, decor, or god forbid the dress, I’m going to scream.”
All of my, all of my fine china
“Funny story actually, this was all supposed to be for my wedding. Bucky, where are you? Oh there he is. Handsome, right? Kind of an asshole but if you’re looking for a hook up, I highly recommend. He’s my ex who left me on our wedding day, so, yikes.”
Blue, ah, blue
“She stole my whole wedding. Hell she even stole the lingerie I was planning on wearing for my wedding night. So none of this planning is hers is what I’m trying to say. Guess I could be a fucking wedding planner or something. Ha, wouldn’t that be ironic, the girl who can’t seem to get married helping other people live her dream.”
All of my, all of my fine china
Natasha looks furious. But she didn’t want to stop you. She had done something pretty fucked up too, and even though you said you were okay, she knew you. She knew the pain you were going through. Not from experience though, only listening. She could never fully comprehend the damage done.
All of my, all of my fine china
You continue to embarrass yourself, but you’re too cross-faded to care.
Blue, ah
“Is anyone else still thinking about how weird it is that she’s wearing my underwear? I mean, I never wore them but it still seems a bit strange. Here’s a little secret, that’s her something blue.”
Fine china and fresh linen
All of my dresses with them tags still on them
The next morning, you wake with the worst hangover of your life. Oh shit, you ruined Nat’s wedding. As if things couldn’t get any worse, you’re not even in your apartment. Where the fuck are you?
Fine china and dull silver
My white horses and my ivory almonds
“Hey sleepyhead.”
“Steve?”
“Yeah?”
“What the fuck happened last night?”
“You don’t remember? We had sex.”
“Oh god, what about Peggy?”
“She’s a bitch, I never should have left you.”
“Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.”
“What’s wrong baby?”
“You’re a terrible person. I need to go.” You scurry out of that hell-scape, cursing your drunk self.
I guess they really got the best of us, didn't they?
They said that love was enough, but it wasn’t
“I’d like to check into rehab again.”
“That’s good Y/n.”
“I have one question, though.”
“What is it?”
“You were never gonna get back together with me, right? I mean it was pretty good incentive, but you were never serious.”
“No, we still have a chance.”
“Cut the shit Bucky. You don’t have to lie to me, just stop playing with my emotions.”
“I’m sorry. I really am.”
“Goodbye James.”
The Earth shattered, the sky opened
The rain was fire, but we were wooden
“Here you go. Everything you asked for is there.” Nat gives you boxes upon boxes of your wedding stuff back.
Fine china, fine china, fine china
You break every plate, cup, and bowl.
Fresh linen, fresh linen, fresh linen
You burn every table cloth, napkin, and the dress you now hate with your whole heart.
Maybe one day you’ll get married, but you needed this stuff gone, and you needed to never think about it again. So far all you’ve gotten out of your engagements was depression, addiction, and some shards of fine china.
Masterlist / Spinoff series
#angst#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes angst#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x y/n#steve rogers#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers angst
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
Season 5 - Summary
Hi Folks,
What it says above. I do not have a copy of the leaks nor did I rip them myself so please stop asking me how.
Spoilers under the cut obviously
💎Episode 3
Private chat with Eddie
Alfie tells you he's not putting all his eggs in one basket, but hooks up with Kat. No details yet, but it results in her dropping her pyjamas off the side of their bed. Skeaze.
Suresh sleeps on the daybeds so you don’t feel uncomfortable
💎Episode 4
Suresh is telling the other boys you’re getting back together.
You get a chat with Alfie where you decide whether you want to pursue him (later, not now) or if you want him in the friendzone
Finn gets a text saying he’s got a date with each of the girls, and he has to go in the order of preference starting with the girl he likes most
💎Episode 5
He picks MC first.
He cracks on fuckin hard. You can kiss Finn on the date. Twice.
Finn’s had a foursome with three girls
Once you’re back in the villa, Alfie and Eddie arc up a little bit cause they think Suresh is playing games with you.
Finn used pretty much the same lines on you as he did on Kat.
Finn and Suresh get in a bit of an argument.
💎Episode 6
Finn chooses Kat, and yes, you can choose to be salty about it
Dana says she’s taking it slow with Eddie
Guilty Secrets Challenge
Finn - Had a fling with their best friend’s sister
Alfie - Got a tattoo of a camel on his big toe (got it removed tho)
Kat - Has a secret fetish for sex on boats
Eddie - Had to be rescued naked form a hotel rooftop
MC - Got paid to strip (no you don’t get a choice in the matter). You were dancing on a podium and one of your mates slipped you some cash as a joke and then a whole heap of guys started throwing money at you.
Finn - Had a foursome
Suresh - Hid a long-term relationship from a person they were flirting with
Turns out Suresh never told the girl he slept with that he had a gf. He was flirting with her for months before they finally slept together after you guys had a huge fight. She’s a waitress and has a turtle tattoo. Alfie sticks up for MC a bit and Suresh calls him out for hooking up with Kat.
Kat’s a fucking annoying cow but she has some amazing lines. Iconic Kat Moment (IKM)™️
EDDIE: Come on, boys. Cool, calm, collected yeah?
KAT: I’m feeling cool, calm, neglected... Haven’t been centre of attention for at least four minutes.
Alfie comes and gives you a cuddle and tells you about his ex. He has the same thing as you, got cheated on by his first serious relationship. You bond. Kat interrupts and calls him out for hooking up with her and then immediately cracking on to you.
💎Episode 7
Alfie confesses to hooking up with Kat, and in the moment said he only had eyes for her. He said it just kinda came out and he regretted it immediately. Kat backs him up after saying he's genuinely into MC and tells you not to pie him off.
Chat with Suresh and he confesses more about the waitress, tells you Dana’s been flirting with him.
Chat with Finn where you get to call him out for kissing you (if you kissed)
Dana asks if its ok if she gets to know Suresh
💎Episode 8
Tell Dana whether or not its fine for her to crack on w/ Suresh
You're asleep on the daybeds and Alfie and Finn are talking. Kat wakes you up so you can eavesdrop with her. Alfie’s telling Finn he likes you a lot, and they concoct operation MC to get Suresh distracted so Alfie can crack on with you.
Alfie cracks on with you, you can kiss him (yay!)
Kissing Challenge - You can choose to Reject, Peck, or Snog any of the people who kiss you.
Kiss the Islander who:
Has the best chat: Finn kisses Kat
Has the best abs: Kat kisses Suresh
Is the funniest: Suresh kisses Dana 🐍🐍🐍
Has the best body: Eddie kisses MC
You fancy the most: Dana kisses MC
Is the nicest: Alfie kisses MC
Has the best hair: MC kisses whoever the f she wants, including Kat and Dana. Kat will kiss you back even though she's straight AF.
You'd take home to your family: Suresh kisses MC obviously. You can swerve him. (Do it)
Regardless of what you do, Suresh gives a heaps sappy speech about how much his family loved/adored you etc.
Alfie gets annoyed at it and starts a fight with Suresh. They almost get in a punch up.
Dana checks to see if it was ok that Suresh kissed her and that she kissed him back etc.
Kat tries to calm everything down, but ends up asking Suresh if he wouldn’t just be happier if he forgot about mc. And he's like maybe I would be.
💎Episode 9
Dana asks about you and her hooking up
For some fucking reason, Eddie’s name switches to Charlie. NO ONE KNOWS WHY. Henceforth he is called ChEddy
Alfie pulls you aside and apologises for arcing up at Suresh
He tells you more about being cheated on. He tells you his fam would love you.
YOU GET TO KISS HIM YAY
You also get to call Kat out for hooking up wit Suresh if you want.
Suresh decides he's sleeping inside tonight. For some reason we don’t get to go sleep on the daybeds??? Grrr
Can kiss dana YAY
Can also give Alfie a little goodnight kiss and a cuddle yay
While you’re in bed, Suresh wants to reminisce about your first kiss and its really horny. ChEddy told Suresh he saw you hook up with Alfie if ya did
Suresh wants to know if he should leave the villa. He hugs you goodnight and either dana or Alfie gets upset and leaves the bedroom. (Assuming whichever one you like better)
💎Episode 10
They’re going to the beach hut so you cant really follow them. Then you can kiss Suresh if you have no self-respect.
ChEddy tries to stir shit up and throw you under the bus? I don’t get him.
The girls try and get deets out of you and there's lots of sex puns and that’s what she said's.
Kat’s falling for Finn. (girl its been like two days, chill out, this is not queen behaviour)
Go hang out with Alfie yay
He tells you about a story that’s meant to be embarrassing where he accidentally kissed a girl on the nose but its actually just extremely boring
You can reassure or not reassure him that you like him.
Excess baggage challenge text
ChEddy’s like like ooooooo I need to tell you something and is all cagey and sounds like he's gonna fuckin blackmail you or something (NOT SERIOUS HE JUST SAYS HE MIGHT TELL ALFIE)
💎Episode 11
ChEddy chat. He tells you not to trust Suresh and that he’ll spill the tea about everything you got up to the night before (which is, in my case, being as rude to him as possible)
And ChEddy says he's gonna tell Alfie/Dana everything. (I literally HUGGED the guy you weirdo lol)
Oh and then he flirts with you (??? literally why, sir you are blackmailing me) and you can tell him you’re into it yay (god he's hot)
Excess baggage challenge
Girl's turn
This Islander:
❌Once dated a Grandma
Dana kisses ChEddy
(Correct Answer: Finn)
✔️Had a regular hookup in the mile high club
Kat kisses Suresh, and is correct
✔️Once attended a naked party at an ex's mansion
MC Kisses any of the boys.
---If you pick Finn - He swerves you and only wants a cheek kiss
---If you pick ChEddy, and snog him, he whispers in your ear afterwards 'I knew there was a spark there'
---If you pick Alfie, and snog him, ChEddy looks on jealously.
(Note: Both Alfie and ChEddy are disappointed if you do anything other than snog them. )
(Correct answer: ChEddy)
❌Once performed a trumpet solo on a romantic picnic
Dana kisses Suresh regardless of who you tell her to kiss
(Correct answer: Alfie)
Boy's turn
This Islander:
❌Once spent a night with twins
Suresh kisses Dana
(Correct Answer: Kat)
❌Once pretended to be an estate agent on a viewing
Finn kisses Kat
(Correct Answer: Dana)
❌Split up with their ex the day after she bought an engagement ring to propose to them with
It's you, obviously. Alfie kisses Dana.
Suresh is like, jaw on the floor, obviously.
Another Iconic Kat Moment (IKM)™️
KAT: What self-respecting girl proposes to her man? She should have the dignity to sneak around leaving desperate hints and dropping manipulative clues until he gets the idea.
💎Episode 12
Everyone's like wtf you were gonna propose to him? And you can be like ‘yeah. I was all in with you’ which makes it heaps awkward with Alfie and he gets a bit weird about it. So please don't say that. Pick literally any other option.
ChEddy is like "well you both hid things from each other then, so its ok" (which, oh my god, just no?!?!. A surprise proposal is not the same as FUCKING SOMEONE ELSE, why are all these men trash?)
Finn says he never wants to get married and Kat has a bit of a tantrum about it
Kat gets self conscious that Finn likes older women, but confesses that she fucked him in the shower already
Go talk to Alfie and he's all sad. He says he's gonna back off you a bit cause he's a bit spooked by how serious you were.
Then Dana asks if you want her to back off too
💎Episode 13
Yet another chat with fucking Suresh, oh goody.
He’s all ‘if I'd admitted to cheating straight away could you have forgiven me?” (Literally it is still a no, I don't know how many times I have to tell you we're done)
And then he’s all “I didn't even see the proposal coming” and “maybe we’re not as compatible as I thought we were, maybe we were never right for each other.” (Omfg finally)
Why is everyone breaking up with us right now though what in the fuck
Kat thinks Suresh is going to crack on now.
Dana brings you a drink. You can tell her ChEddy cracked on to you.
Finn pulls you for a chat, asks about Kat and where her heads at. He also cracks on to you. You can ask him if he’s fucked Kat and he tells you no (lol so much for falling for him girl, you can do better, this man is trash.)
New girls arrive
Stunningly athletic and sexy Arlo strides down the steps - fearless, cool, confident, loving all eyes on her. (She's from Sheffield)
Linked in her arm is classy and cute girl-next-door Meera, who beams at everyone in excitement. (From Leicester) (She models)
Arlo is into girls and says shed go for both Dana and MC (if MC likes girls) otherwise just Dana
Get a text about a boys choice recoupling the following night. GRRRRRR
Oh also Suresh is super interested in Arlo
Another Iconic Kat Moment (IKM)™️
ARLO: You’re not into girls are you, Kat?
KAT (Sad): Always nice to be fancied though, ain’t it?
185 notes
·
View notes
Text
One Last Time 01 — Pjm. (M)
⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader
⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst
⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…
⇢ Song : xxxxx
⇢ Word Count : 4.3k
⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!
⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken
⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?
The winter’s coldness is hardly enough for you to bear. Even though it’s just the beginning, Seoul is known to just go from season to season without a fucking warning. Not only that, but the first snowfall is going to come soon. The weatherman has been talking about it non-stop for the past few days. It’s going to be a brutal one he says but he says that every year so why believe?
Turning off your alarm, you take a few minutes to collect yourself and stretch. Barely any sleep once again but that’s an everyday thing now.. without Jimin. It’s been some rough months not having his body wrapped snugly onto yours. These days you long for his touch, but completely dread at the same time for very good reasons.
Your kitten greets you with small licks on your thigh in which in return you pet her head softly with a smile.
‘‘ At least I still have you babygirl. You keep me company. “ You coo softly while grabbing your phone off the charger. Texts from your best-friend just spamming you with love and apparently she’s coming over. Great. That’s normal. But one text catches your eye. Jeon Jungkook.
You furrow your eyebrows as your finger slides to open it after typing in your password. In relief, he’s just checking up on you as always. Rolling your eyes, you muster enough strength to actually pull yourself out of bed. The cold tiles hit your feet like icicles. You jump from from foot to foot cursing yourself for not turning on the floor heaters as you walk out the room. Clara, your kitten, follows you out purring nonchalantly with a few meows here and there.
‘’ Alright Clara I hear you. Im getting your food now.’’ You chuckle, grabbing her food from the bottom kitchen cabinet right under the sink and pour her half a cup of cat food and a whole bowl of water.
After snacking on your morning granola bar you prepare yourself for your morning routine. Shower, brush teeth, skin care, get dressed, clean. Your phone dings once more just before stripping yourself of your clothes. You don’t bother to look it’s probably just a social media notification.
Drying your hair with a towel as you get out the steaming hot shower, you head straight for the mirror. Dark circles remain under your eyes from months of barely any sleep. You sigh, and gently rub under them. Jimin is the cause of this. Why would he do this to you. Surely enough he would not like to see you like this at all. The worriedness he would have over you is huge. But he has moved on and you just have to accept it no matter how in-love you still are with him.
As you clean up around the living room, another ding from your phone occurs. A groan escapes your lips as you place the pillows back as they should be. In hopes of it just being your manager giving you some good news, you let out a sigh and plop yourself down on the grey suede couch. Three new messages. Jeon Jungkook, who has text you twice, and Ryan your bestfriend.
‘‘ Damn it Ryan why must you consistently text me twenty four sev- “
“ Beause I need to know if you’re okay.”
You jump and drop your phone onto the hardwood floor from the voice that comes from around you.
“ Holy fucking shit you scared me! “ You whine, turning around to face your best-friend. She smiles and holds out her arms for a hug. You roll your eyes and open yours waiting for her embrace.
“ Oh i’ve missed you so so so so so so so-”
“ You just seen me yesterday..” Your voice sarcastic and bland as you let go of her. You sit on the couch first followed by Ryan sitting right next to you.
She looks good today, the navy blue coat she has on suits her very well. Although, you cannot figure out why she decided to wear leggings today. It’s going to rain a bit later but you disregard that seeing as though she’s the fashion deisgner and not you.
You. The model and seemingly ex girlfriend of one of the biggest solo idol in the world right now. Thats what they call you in the news, headlines in magazines, and real life as if you don’t have a real name and just was his acessory. Your modeling career had taken off way before dating him. The world, or Seoul to say the most, didn’t acklowledge you to that point yet.
“ Okay but still. You know we should be roomates. It’ll be easier for me to watch over you. “
Your head turns towards her quickly shaking no, “ I don’t need to be looked over im 20 years old.”
Silence takes place for the next few seconds. You know what she’s going to say next but pray she doesn’t. Those words will just make you even more upset. It’s already enough you have that constant reminder in your head.
You watch her fiddle with the rings on her index and pinky fingers. “ But you know… you haven’t been the same since you and Jimi-”
“ Don’t fucking say it. I don’t want to hear it.”
She sighs harshly and stands up, “ Im just worried about you Yn”
“ Don’t be. Im fine. “ That lie escaped your tongue way too easily.
Truthfully you haven’t and won’t be fine. Everyday there is something new about that girl and Jimin on twitter. Gossip pages, twitter fanpages, and online entertainment pages just always talking about them. They did this, they did that today. Oh we caught them going to this and that restaurant. That used to be you and him.. but now everyone has forgotten about you and focused on them.
Ever since you’ve told reporters and paparazzi repeatedly that you will not be holding or going to any interview they just stopped. A few calls here and there to your manager about scheduling one but she knew you didn’t want to do them so every request is denied. Although its been a year and some change, they still seem to want your side and your opinion to weigh in on. I guess that’s what happens when you date an Idol.
“ The door.. Y/N the door somebody is at the door.” Ryan says, tapping you over and over. You shake your head interrupting your thoughts for the time being. A few more knocks come through.
Finally up onto your feet you harshly walk to the door with each step making noise. It’s to early in the morning for someone to actually be knocking at the door right now. Whoever it is better be dropping off some sort of package, or they’ll surely get a piece of your mind.
Your frail hands grab onto the doorknob and swing it open. Your eyes almost pop through your sockets. How? How did he know you were here? You certainly did not tell him your knew address.
There he stands, his tall frame looking down on you. Lips formed into a tiny pout along with his eyebrows scrunched slightly. His brown eyes forming an ungodly stare into yours with his specs on.
“ Yn! Do you know how worried I was about you? Why did you not answer my messa-”
“Jungkook how do you know where I live?” You pace your hands on your hips, raising an eyebrow at him. To your knowledge, you never gave Jungkook your new apartment address.
Jungkook swallows slowly and puts on his best innocent face on. Oh please like that would work in this moment right now. The only person who has this address is Ryan because she’s the one who helped you move. Even if you had the choice of not giving it out to Ryan you would of but you couldn’t do that to her. She would of been so upset.
Ryan’s voice blares in the background full of excitement. Here we fucking go. “Jungkook! Come in Come in.”
“ Ryan says I could come in.” He says quickly, brushing past you and removing his shoes.
You heavily sigh and slam the door shut. What is this a family reunion? On your way back to the couch you notice them laughing and giggling like two five year old children. They don’t even notice you when you sit right across from them.
You study their expressions. Their chemistry is something so strong. The way their eyes light up when they meet, the way that Jungkook smiles and scrunches his nose more often when she’s around. You miss that. You miss doing that.
“ So are you both coming along this afternoon?”
Your attention focuses back on them. Of course you weren’t paying attention once again.
Your eyes slowly meet with theirs, “ Huh? Where are we going?”
“ Kookie finally bought a house! He wants us to come tonight for chicken and beer. You’re coming right?”
A sharp pain goes through your heart. If the both you you guys go then theirs a possibility that Jimin was invited too. After all, that is his brother. If Jimin comes then he’s most likely going to bring Isabel. A recipe for disaster. Your poor heart, that most likely could not bare the sight of them infront of you, would shatter into a million pieces.
Jungkook’s expression is ready to burst into happiness or to turn into a pout awaiting for your answer. If you let him down he’ll surely be mad at you. But putting yourself before him this time would be the right thing to do right?
“ Listen Jungkook I.. don’t think I can go.” You start off, playing with your hair with your head down.
“ I’ll space you two apart.”
Your face automatically lifts itself up in shock. Somehow, that little confirmation of Jimin being there, gave you some hope. Hope for what though?
“ Wha-what do you mean?”
Jungkook sighs heavily with his hand going up to his brown hair running it through lightly. “ I’ll make sure you two are distanced apart. You don’t want to come because of Jimin but I’ll make sure I’ll invite more people to keep you company and away from him. Okay?”
“ Please Yn. I’ll be there too.” Ryan begs, laying her head on Jungkook’s shoulder. Jungkook smiles a little, caressing her cheek with his other hand upon waiting your response.
Weird. When did they get so close?
The first thing you want to say is that you really could not go. But they already know the excuse now. You might as well just give in.
‘‘ Fine. What time tonight? “
Skincare and makeup products are scattered everywhere on your vanity. You needed the perfect look for tonight that says ‘Yes im doing fine without you’, but in reality you’re doing worse. This is the night where you’ll actually see him. Damn it’s been a while.
After you apply your highlight you step back and take a look at yourself. Not bad at all. You smile to yourself and start cleaning up the mess of products you had distributed across the vanity. A new text appears on you phone as soon as you gather everything up and put it back in it’s place. Grabbing your phone, it’s Ryan giving you the address to Jungkook’s new house.
You sigh and mentally prepare yourself, ‘‘ Okay Yn. You can do this. It’s just one night of conversing among people. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone new.”
Before heading out you grab your coat and scarf. Clara follows you all the way to the door letting out her little meows once again. You bend down to pet her head lightly with a smile. “ Clara im coming back. I’ve put food in your bowl babygirl.”
She purrs under your touch then walks away to settle herself in her bed. You take one last final look at your decent sized apartment before heading out.
The subway ride was agonizing pain for you due to it being 30 minutes long. Well, at-least you can ride the subway now. Your mind wouldn’t even of thought of that when you were with him. Everybody would have noticed you and bombard you with questions.
The outskirts of Seoul is peaceful and quite. Not many people live over here. Mostly famous actors and idols. The taxi takes a few minutes to get to the fairly clean subway station. Once you’re inside you take a good look at the driver who seems to be eyeing you in suspicion. You pull out your phone and read the words to the address exactly to him. The taxi man pulls of into the empty streets of god knows where.
All it took was a ten minute ride and then you’re there. The taxi man pulls up to a security guard booth. Just beyond the gates is more street but by squinting your eyes you can make out just a few newly built houses.
‘‘ Who are you here to see?” The taxi driver says.
“ Jeon Jungkook.?
The driver talks to the man for a few seconds before you see the security guard pick up a phone and start dialing. The security is extremely uptight, thats good. After a few moments of speaking the security guard finally opens the gates to be let through.
As you pull up to the house you’re automatically mesmerized on how big and beautiful it is. There’s fresh bushes and some white roses growing in the front of it complementing the white modern style home. The roundabout is full of luxurious cars, in which might be all the other guests.
‘‘ 10 dollars’‘ He says. You give him the ten, thank him, and grab your purse, closing the door behind you.
Your eyes meet face to face with the expensive house. Behind you is the tire wheels backing up and running off back down the roundabout. The time on your watch reads 8:15. Only fifteen minutes late, not bad right?
With each step you take fear quivers inside of you. What if he opens the door? What if that girl opens it instead? The wind blows harsh-fully hitting your cheeks making them turn slightly colored. You raise a small, shaky fist to knock on the door. Your blood turning cold, and face turning pale already. Your anxiety already taking its place inside of your body.
The door swings open revealing Ryan smiling from ear to ear. She pulls you inside without even a greeting. You kick your shoes off in a hurry as she pulls you more and more inside. Scanning the area around you, its a nice huge place. First the both of you pass the entrance, then the chef sized kitchen, which then leads you to the spacious living room where everybody seems to be sitting.
All eyes are on you now with some familiar faces and some not. They smile and greet you one by one and you slightly bow your head with a fake smile.
‘‘ Ah Yn, nice to see you again huh.’‘ Hoseok, the smiley one says, getting up from his seat to greet you once more.
‘‘ Nice to see you to Hoseok. Is Chae-Yeon here? I’ve baked the cookies she likes.’’ You say, holding up the big tuba-wear of freshly baked cookies. Nobody can resist those.
‘‘ No she had to work sadly, but I will enjoy them for her.’‘ He chuckles, bringing the tuba-wear out of your dainty, cold hands.
A very familiar voice booms from behind you causing you to turn around. “ Yn! You actually did come!’’ Jungkook, the owner of the voice exclaims. He wipes his hands with a napkin just before pulling you into a hug.You pat his back just before letting go.
Ryan smiles and shakes her head, “ I told you she would come.’’
Only one hour and 30 minutes into the festivities and half of the people here are drunk or nearly there. You on the other hand do not drink at all. Staying sober throughout this whole party is a must. Who knows what would happen if you start drinking and saying things.Ryan seems to be doing good with Jungkook who’s laying on the floor laughing and cracking jokes with her head laying on his stomach giggling along with him. The others have casually invited themselves into the guest game-room to play some pool.
You just sit there on the couch, munching on a cookie and smiling and laughing here and there at one of Seokjin and Jungkook’s back-to-back jokes that seem to never leave the air.
Only for a knock on the door to interrupt their flow of jokes.
‘‘ I got it I got it.” Seokjin stammers, placing a beer bottle down and stumbling towards the door. You freeze, face turning pale once more. It’s them. It could be them. Your teeth find their way to your lips and you begin to chew on it excessively.
Ryan notices it and automatically gets up from Jungkook, ‘‘ Come Yn, lets go see if the game of pool is interesting.’‘
You nod your head slightly as you get up from the couch. What are you worrying for? You look extravagant tonight. No need to worry yourself.
Just before taking your first few steps you stop, that voice. That oh so familiar voice begins to inch closer and closer. The famous laugh that he always tries to stifle by putting his hand over his mouth, that you’ve always thought was so fucking cute, fills the air.
You don’t know what got over you, but you sit back down dragging Ryan down with you. “ Yn? What are you doing I thought you wanted to avoid him.’’
‘’ No it’s okay. Im going to be fine.’‘ You say, awaiting upon his arrival into the room.
The footsteps are haunting you with each step they take.
one..two..three..four..five..si-
‘‘ Everyone, Isabel and Jimin are here.’‘ Seokjin stammers, smiling wide clearly drunk from all the beer consumed.
Your eyes go directly towards his. The pit of your stomach flutters with nervousness as you hold the long stare with him. His facial expression shocked but not showing it at all. His partner, who’s arm is linked with his, smiles brightly at everyone bowing her head slightly to them including you.
‘‘ Sorry we are late. Jimin didn’t want to come out of his home studio but I’ve made him come along with me.’‘ Her voice gentle and soft.
‘‘ Yn I forgot let me show you my new painting i have received.” Jungkook says quickly, trying to escape you from the awkwardness.You can bare it though its not as bad as you thought.
‘‘ Maybe later Kookie. I’m going to grab some juice.” You say, getting up from your spot. You brush past Jimin lightly with Ryan tailing along with you.
The spacious kitchen was perfect for you to escape for just a moment. Silence is golden. Ryan sighs, pouring you and her a glass of juice. Nothing is to be said yet. But you know she really wants to have her input.
Raising the glass to your lips, you take a sip letting the tanginess run across your tongue and down your throat. ‘’ Say it Ryan.’’
She puts her cup down and looks at you with your eyebrows furrowed, ‘’ You aren’t fine. Please just avoid them for the night.’’
You knew it was coming but you have to face the fact that they area couple anyways so why avoid it? Maybe your mind will finally accept it to see it in person.
‘‘ I have to face it one way or another so why not now?’‘
She shakes her head in disapproval, finishing the rest of her juice. “ No you don’t. You’re making yourself suffer and I don’t like it.’’
‘‘ Yn.. did you make these cookies?’‘ A voice says behind you. Ryan’s eyes go wide and then looks at you signaling for you to not turn around. But you do it anyways.
Isabel. How dare she call you by a pet name? You don’t even know her like that and she’s doing this. Anger wants to get the best of you but you remain humble and calm.
‘‘ Yes. Is there a problem though? Are they not good?’‘ You say, putting on your best innocent act.
She smiles as she moves a piece of hair of her perfectly framed face, ‘’ No they are great! I was wondering if i can have the recipe.. for Jimin’s purpose of course.’’
You breathe through your nostrils with your eyes closed. She knows what she’s doing. She likes seeing you suffer huh? ‘’ You can follow any recipe online. I just add almond extract and substitute white sugar for brown.’’
Ryan shakes her head slightly while sticking her cup into the sink. ‘’ I’m going to be back I have to use the restroom.’’
Once she leaves Isabel’s smile drops.’’ Almond? Im- Im allergic!” She says, semi yelling at you. You’re shocked more or so at the sudden outburst that you can’t speak. You had zero knowledge of her being allergic, it’s an accident for sure.
“You did this on purpose!’’ She says, tears filling her eyes as she goes into a coughing fit.
Shit. You didn’t know if anyone was allergic to nuts here but you had put it in anyways because that was the secret ingredient
‘’ I- I didn’t know im sorry is there anything I can do?’’ You say, guilt taking over you while you rush to her side patting her back.
‘‘ Get off of me! You did this on purpose! You never liked me anyways. Jimin! Jimin!‘ She scream’s, coughing and wheezing making her face red.
Multiple footsteps rush into the kitchen. You don’t know what to do at this point so you just back away and let whoever take over. All the commotion going on and yelling is starting to give you a slight headache. All of the boys surround her, bombarding with questions and asking each other what to do.
‘‘ What’s all the yelling about? What happened! “ Jungkook exclaims rushing towards her hunched over body.
‘‘ What’s going on? “ That voice that haunts you everynight finally comes inside the kitchen. When he see’s Isabel he automatically rushes towards her side. It pains you to see him rush to another woman’s body. But that figure is no longer yours so he has every right to do that.
‘‘ She-She put almond in the cookies on purpose! She’s trying to–to-’‘ She manages to wheeze out before another coughing fit.
Jimin’s eyes meet yours full of rage but then taken over by concern. He knows your hurt. Still hurt from the past and from this very situation now. You don’t manage to keep eye contact, so the floor is your eyes’ bestfriend right now.
‘‘ Yn. is this true? Why would you do that?” He says, eyes never leaving yours and voice soft.
You shake your head quickly, “ I didn’t know she was allergic. I always put almond extract an-’’
“ You knew better than to put any type or form of nut in a dish when bringing it to ones house. You never know if someone has an allergy to it.’‘ Jungkook scolds you, eyes furrowed in shame.
‘‘ Don’t blame her. She didn’t fucking know.” Ryan’s voice enters the room in madness. She comes to your side with her arms crossed. Your own personal savior. Without her, you’d still be feeling guilty and taking the blame.
‘‘ Besides, you knew better than to invite him if you knew he was going to bring the girl he cheated on her with.. right?’‘ She says, cocking her head to the side as her attitude takes over.
The room is silent again. Good girl Ryan.
Isabel lifts her head in disbelief along with Jimin. “ Listen that’s beside the point. Just don’t do it again.” Jimin says, focusing his attention back on Isabel. He reaches into her purse to grab her Epi-pen.
His scolding is enough to send your eyes into tears. You shouldn’t of agreed to come. This is a disaster. You take the tuba-wear of cookies from the counter on your way out of the kitchen and dispose of them. Your vision is blurry and you don’t know where your going but you just need some air. You make lefts and rights down long and short hallways till you reach a room that has a balcony.
You slip on who-ever’s house slippers and open the sliding door revealing the winter’s cold harsh air. You lean on the railing and close your eyes breathe in and out heavily.
Wiping the tears away, You open our eyes and look straight ahead. The whole city is lit up such a beautiful view for a sad moment. The sad moment is cut short by the sliding door opening and closing. You don’t bother to turn around it’s probably just Ryan checking on you again. When are people going to stop doing that?
“ Yn.”
Thats the last voice you wanted to hear.
‘‘ Are you happy? Happy for scolding me infront of everybody.” You sniffle, wiping away your leaking nose.
You hear some rustling before something is placed on your shoulders. You look down at the material and shrug it off of you.
‘‘ Give it to your girlfriend.”
‘‘ I can’t let you be cold. Put it back on.’‘ He sighs, picking it back up and coming closer to you. You both stand side by side. Jimin puts his jacket around you once more and before you could re-do your action just before, he speaks.
‘‘ Shrug it off again and I’ll scold you. Do you understand?’‘ He says firmly.
You don’t bother to speak. Silence is golden.
‘‘ Listen.. i know you still aren’t over the fact that we are through but-”
‘‘ Shut up. I don’t want to hear it. Please go tend to your dying girlfriend.’‘ You say, sarcastically.
He huffs, “ She’s resting right now. She wouldn’t have to be if you wouldn’t of put-’’
You turn towards him slowly and meet his eyes daring for him to finish the rest of his sentence. ‘’ Don’t you fucking dare Park Jimin.’’
‘‘ Honorifics.’‘ He says, slightly looking down at you due to the height difference.
‘‘ You’re right Jimin-ssi.’‘
Jimin’s expression is taken a-back. You knew that one honorific word would hurt him.
‘‘ If we are done speaking I will take my leave now.” You say, eyes never leaving his as you take off his jacket and toss it to him, leaving him outside in the cold
This night was one of your worst mistakes. You thought you could handle it, but couldn’t. So maybe Ryan and Jungkook were right. Maybe you can’t handle it at all..
#jimin#park jimin#idol jimin#idol!jimin#idol ! jimin#jimin scenario#jimin fanfic#jimin smut#jimin fluff#jimin one shot#jimin imagine#bts imagine#bts imagines#jimin imagines#bts smut#bts fluff#bts angst#jimin angst#jimin sad#sad jimin#bts reaction#jimin reaction#bts scenarios#bts scenario#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook fanfic#jungkook smut#jungkook#jeon jungkook
580 notes
·
View notes
Text
the night before — sebastian stan
sebastian stan x fem!reader
word count: 2,644 words
summary: you were invited to your ex’s wedding and despite all logical reasoning, you decided to go. now it’s the night before the wedding and you’re in the same night club with your ex. time to make some more mistakes.
warnings: angst, crying, cheating, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex.
a/n: i am going to make a part two because i want to explore this more. also, thank you so much for almost 500 notes on my first one shot! enjoy :)
The love of your life was getting married and it wasn’t to you. When you heard the news, you laughed out loud, a bit too loud for being in a quaint cafe. You thought that the girl Sebastian was dating was going to be nothing more than a rebound from you, even when you heard the news that they were engaged, you thought that it wasn’t serious. But now it’s the day before their wedding and you’re pretty sure she’s not a rebound anymore.
You wish you didn’t know what day the wedding was, but you did because you were invited. Sebastian invited you. What kind of asshole would do something like that? You know he saw it as taking the high road, being a bigger person, but it just came off as a pretentious douche bag move to show that he could be happy too. Without you. And how did this get past his fiance, Lauren? Did she want you to come?
You planned on not attending because why the fuck would you want to go? But then your friend, Emerson, talked you into it. “It’s in Hawaii,” “It’ll show him that you can still be friends,” “Rub it in their faces that you don’t care anymore.” They were all very shitty reasonings but you were drunk when you RSVP’d and even drunker when you booked the plane ticket. You had been drinking a lot in the weeks leading up to the wedding, it was the only thing that made all the nerves go away. You promised yourself that you would stop drinking so much after they were married and you intended on keeping that promise.
You had been trying your best to stay as far away from Sebastian as possible in the three-day period leading up to the wedding. It had been working well so far, until tonight. You and Emerson decided to go to a nightclub away from the resort you were staying at because you heard that that’s where the bachelor party was being held. Much to your surprise, that was false information. Now you’re starring at Sebastian from across the room with eyes wide and a jaw down to the floor.
“I thought you said they were gonna be at the resort!” You yelled at Emerson over the loud music.
“That’s what the bridesmaids told me,” she defended. “But it doesn’t even matter, we came out to have a good night. Fuck him! You can be nice tomorrow.”
You quickly started to regret every single one of your decisions you had made in the past three months. Accepting the invitation, booking the plane ticket, and leaving your hotel room tonight. You knew you shouldn’t be here but you were and you hated it.
“This was a mistake. I’m booking a plane ticket and I’m going back home. Tonight.”
“What?! You can’t do that.”
“The hell I can’t.” You grabbed your phone from your purse only to get it grabbed from your hand and shoved into Emerson’s pocket. “What the hell!”
“You’re not just going to leave.”
“Why not?”
“It’s been two years, y/n. You have been telling me that you’re finally over him for a year, that’s why we’re even here, right? Because you’re over him?”
You took in a shaky breath. No, you weren’t over him. You knew you should be, but you weren’t. You thought seeing him say “I do” would force you into moving on, finally letting him go. Now, you wanted to slap yourself for being so stupid.
“Yes,” you lie despite yourself.
“Good, so let’s go get you a drink and a hot piece of ass! And in the morning we’re going to watch as he gets married and you’re going to finally let go of him, okay?”
“Okay,” you nod.
You had to get over him, it had been two years. This was the way to do it. You would force yourself to let him go and be happy. That would make you happy … right?
You and Emerson walked to the bar, ordering shot after shot until you were dizzy. Then you ordered a long island ice tea which you did not need. After you basically chugged the drink, you made your way to the dance floor.
You changed from grinding on Emerson to random individuals and you couldn’t have cared less. Everything about tomorrow and moving on left your mind completely. Right now you were living in the moment, something you were always working to do. You could tell that the individual dancing behind you hadn’t switched for four songs, so you decided to turn around. You were hoping for it to be someone cute and nice. Someone to take you somewhere and fuck the worries away. Instead, it was Sebastian.
Your smile faded and so did his. You went still, your eyes trained on his. It felt weird to be the only people in the crowd not moving. You had lost all sense of anything, you didn’t know if you stood like that for seconds or for hours.
Something in your jumbled thoughts forced you to speak. “Hi.”
“Hi,” he yelled back. His face was unreadable at that moment, you blamed it on the alcohol but you weren’t sure if you could have deciphered what it meant even if you were sober. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Yeah, a few months, I think.” You were sure, it had been four months prior, right before you heard about the engagement. You ran into each other at a red carpet event and you tried your best to act normal.
“Do you … uh—do you want to go get a drink?”
You stood still again, silent. Your brain needed a minute to process the request. You definitely did not need another drink. “Sure.”
You followed behind Sebastian to the bar, a trip you had made with Emerson no less than an hour ago. He ordered himself a Screwdriver and you a Sex on the Beach, your favorite. You had both sucked down half of your drinks before either of you spoke.
“How are you?” He asked.
“Fine, I guess,” you replied. “How are you?”
“Good, good, really good.”
“That’s good.”
It went quiet again and even though the music all around you was blaring, it sounded only like white noise at this point. A thought came into your mind “tell him how you feel.” In a sober state, you would have shut down the thought immediately, but now it played on a loop. The chant continued to play in your head as you finished the last of your drink. You felt the tension in your body rise from your feet to the pit of your stomach, up past your throat, and to your head, making you dizzy.
“Can I tell you something?” You blurted out.
“Sure.”
“It’s loud in here.”
Sebastian chuckled, almost in relief. “Is that what you wanted to tell me?”
“No,” you said, too unaware to get how cringe-worthy you were being. “Can we go somewhere, uh, quieter?”
He nodded and you took his hand and went to go find a secluded location. You weren’t going to be that asshole who jammed the bathroom door shut. Also, you were pretty sure you’d get kicked out if you did that. It took a few minutes but you finally landed your sights on a room. The door was unlocked and you realized it was a coat closet, so you picked it as your location. You closed the door before turning back to Sebastian.
The music was quieter in here, it was muffled and far away. It smelled vaguely of cigarettes but you didn’t mind too much, it was dull.
“What did you want to tell me?” Sebastian asked, voice louder than it needed to be due to how unexpectedly quiet it was.
This was it, your one time to speak your mind. You might never get another situation like this ever again. You needed to let it all out.
“I don’t think I’m over you,” you confess. “And I really don’t know if I will ever be. I know it’s been two years and you’re getting married tomorrow, but I’m still not over you. I’ve been telling myself that when I see you at that alter tomorrow, everything is magically going to go away, but I don’t know if it will.”
“Why are you telling me this, y/n?”
“Because this is the one-shot I’m gonna get. You’re getting married tomorrow morning and you need to know this. Well, actually, you probably don’t, but I need to tell you. I need to let it out or otherwise, I think I might actually fucking explode.” You took a deep breath before the words started pouring out again. “When I heard you were engaged I laughed. It was funny that you were getting this poor girl’s hopes up when we all knew that you were just going to call it off. But you never did, and I was the only one laughing. I’m pretty sure that you were my person. And I think the only reason I accepted that we were done was because I didn’t think we were actually done. I thought you were gonna come back to me. I thought one day we would look back on this and laugh because it was so stupid.”
As you talked, your throat began to feel sore, your eyes stung from the tears forcing their way down your cheeks.
“I’m sorry about everything. I should have fought for us when we had the chance and I should give up right now and—”
Sebastian cut you off by cupping your face and wiping the tears away. “Hey, hey, hey,” he cooed softly, pulling you into him. You buried your face in his chest as he softly rubbed the back of your head. “It’s okay, you’re okay.”
His sweet tone made you cry harder. You wished he would have been mean. You wish he told you to get over it and move on. But he was sweet and consoling you because that’s the type of guy he was. He was the girl who consoled his ex-girlfriend on the night before his wedding. That’s the kind of guy girls want to marry, that’s the kind of guy you should have married. At least if he was an asshole, it would have easier to move on. No one gets hung up on the asshole, they get hung up over the good guy.
You pulled away from him, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand.
“Do you still love me?”
“Y/n…” he sighed.
“Tell me you don’t. God, please tell me you don’t. Tell me that you moved on and that you love her. Could you tell me that? Tell me that you never think twice about me and that you only invited me to your wedding because you honestly think we can be just friends. I need you to tell me you still don’t care. If you tell me that, I’ll walk out the door right now and you don’t ever have to see me again. I’ll wish you good luck on your marriage and I’ll be gone. Can you just tell me that? I really need you to tell me that.”
You looked up to him with pleading, puppy dog eyes. You wanted him—you needed him to tell you that it was never going to happen. You needed closure to move on.
“I-I can’t,” he confessed. “Not honestly.”
You let out a breath you were holding before pulling him closer. You kissed him deeply and passionately, you needed him. He pulled you closer, melting into your mouth. This was it, this felt right. You didn’t think about the repercussions, you couldn’t. All you could think about was his mouth on yours, his hands on your skin.
He backed you up so your back was flat against the door. The hand that wasn’t pulling you closer by the hip locked the door. He hoisted you up, seemingly with no effort as you wrapped your legs around his waist. You made haste with his button-up as he started to push your dress up your thighs. You stayed like that for a while, tugging, kissing.
After a while, Sebastian put you down. This made you nervous, was he going to leave you here? Was the kiss just one dumb, hot mistake?
Instead of walking away, he knelt down in front of you. He grabbed your panties and pulled them down your legs. You looked down at him and let out a moan at the sight of him; lips read and raw from kissing, eyes blown out with lust. He hiked your right leg over his shoulder before looking up at you, asking you if you wanted him to continue. You nodded aggressively, letting out a few whines of anticipation.
He dived in, sending you into a state of euphoria. You pressed your head against the door as your hands tugged at his jet black hair. You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, trying your best to keep in whatever moans he coaxed out of you. You felt you were nearing your high, but he pulled away before you could get there.
You let out a cry at the loss of contact. You tryed your best to pull him back to you, but he instead pushed your hands away, pinning your wrists against the door. He stood back up, form towering over your own.
“You’re so fuckin’ needy,” Sebastian stated, voice low and raspy. He undid his pants before hosting you up against the door again. He pumped his member before putting the tip at your entrance, teasing you. “Are you sure?”
You nodded, pulling him closer by his shoulders. “Please, fuckin’ need you.”
With that, he pushed in, both of you letting out loud wanton moans. You forgot what is was like to be with him. He was on the bigger end of the men you’d been with and he was by far the best. As he thrusted into you, you started to realize how much you missed him every sense of the word. You missed the way he would kiss you in the morning, you missed the way he said he loved you in the middle of a fight, and you missed the way he grunted in your ear when you would have sex.
You both held each other close as he continued to snap his hips against yours. One of his hands reached down to rub your clit, making you let out another moan. You knew you were close again and you wondered how you could finish so fast when you were with him.
“I’m so close,” you warned.
“I know baby,” he cooed. “Wanna watch you.”
You leaned your head back so you could now see each others faces. He admired how you looked all fucked out and needy. He loved how your eye brows knitted together when you were trying not to cum and he loved the way you bit your lip every time he stared into your eyes. And he loved you.
“I love you, y/n,” he accidentally said, thoughts slipping into words.
Your eyes went wide but you couldn’t help but smile. “Fuck, I love you too, Seb.”
The confession brought you closer to your high and before you knew it, you were clutching his shirt in your hands as your legs cleanched around his waist. You both moaned loudly as you came, holding each other as close as possible. You stayed against the door, holding onto him tightly for a while. Then he slipped out of you and set you back down on shaky legs.
“Did you mean it?” You asked after minutes of staring into his eyes.
He hesitated, “yes.”
“Now what are we gonna do?”
#Sebastian Stan#sebastian stan smut#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan x y/n#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes#fanfic#tfatws#oneshot
495 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Cult Girl (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 1
This is my first time publishing any of my reader insert work so don’t be too hard on me. Y/N is a psych student that needs a favor and asks her therapist for help. Lmk if you want to see more.
It was an unmistakable conflict of interest, your relationship with Hannibal. He was your therapist, your mentor, your partner, and many years your senior to boot. You recognized this monumental power imbalance. You put on a façade of embarrassment for the people who expected it; people whose proclivities were done in the shadows and therefore easier to get away with. Why should you be expected to rationalize your loving, mutually beneficial relationship to a person who regularly cheats on her boyfriend?
You'd dated men your own age before, and without fail, you always found yourself waiting for them to grow up. Hannibal made you feel comfortable. Both emotionally and physically. You had a side of his bed and a spot in his arms to fall asleep in every night. Given the choice, you could truthfully say you'd never want to leave his arms.
Like many unlikely relationships, it didn’t start out in the most romantic of ways. Clutching your laptop under your raincoat, you hesitated knocking. Your therapist had, of course, seen you at your lowest points and was sworn to secrecy, but this was a low you didn’t want even him to see. Standing outside of his home, in the so-incredibly-not-business-hours dead of night with mascara running down your face.
You finally worked up the nerve to knock, telling yourself that he was probably asleep and wouldn’t hear you. This rationalization fell apart when the interior light turned on and the door unlocked. Although you’d been seeing Dr. Lecter for quite a while, his presence never failed to intimidate you. Now it was even worse. His severe expression was fixated on you as he silently awaited an explanation.
“Dr. Lecter...” You lowered your head and fumbled with your computer. You made a point to kiss your last shreds of dignity goodbye before you opened your mouth again. “...could I please borrow a book?”
Dr. Lecter narrowed his eyes. “I take it by the hour, this is an urgent matter, Miss [L/N]?”
“My midterm. It’s due in...” You glanced at your watch. “Eight hours.”
“Well you don’t have a moment to waste, now do you?” Dr. Lecter said, a slight upturn in his voice connoting amusement. “Come in. Let’s find you that book.”
You felt your muscles relax as he stepped aside to let you in. The house was spacious. Much too large for one person. That was really the only thing you could bring yourself to notice before he shut the door behind you.
“Now what is this all-important book of yours called?” He asked, pulling your raincoat from your shoulders like he always did.
“It’s called Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism.” You explained, tucking your computer under your arm. “By Robert Jay Lifton.”
“You’re in luck, Miss [L/N].” His thin lips turned up into a smile. “I have a copy from my own years as a student.”
You breathed an audible sigh of relief. You tensed your muscles and held in your excitement at the prospect of something finally going according to plan, even if that plan was your third or fourth backup.
You followed him into his office, which reminded you more of Belle’s library than any workspace you’d ever encountered. He must have had thousands of books in this room alone.
“It’s a fascinating read, but not one you could finish in eight hours.” Dr. Lecter's voice echoed from somewhere in the office, getting lost in the books. “Even for the most ravenous of psychology students, of which I know you to be.”
"Hardly." You muttered under your breath. "If that were the case, I wouldn't be begging for help at 2am before the final paper is due."
"Procrastination is only human, my dear." He assured you, his voice drawing closer. "It's common in those with deep-rooted insecurities about their competency."
"Now that sounds more like me." You joked, leaning back on your heels. "Should you really be trying to validate my bad habits? I feel like that's counterproductive."
"Scolding you would be more counterproductive." He corrected. "You've been scolded many times before and you continue your bad habits. Only when we get to the root of your behavior can you begin to reverse it."
He emerged from the bookshelves and handed you a beat-up copy of Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism, which you graciously accepted.
“Thank you so much, Dr. Lecter.” You said, placing your hand over your heart. "I owe you my life."
"I'd hardly equate your life to a used book, Miss [L/N]." Dr. Lecter said. "I feel like, as your therapist, we should talk about why you do."
You looked away, smiling sheepishly. "Maybe sometime in daylight. I've taken up enough of your time as it is. I'll get out of your hair now."
"It would take you more time to get back to your dorm that you could use writing." He said, matter-of-factually. "Write your paper in my office."
You looked at him in disbelief. Your judgment was clouded with energy drinks and desperation. So your usual self-sacrificing polite denial was steamrolled by a very enthusiastic acceptance. "I would be forever indebted to you, Dr. Lecter."
"Miss [L/N]," Dr. Lecter cut in. "You're a student, you need to study."
You didn’t really remember a lot of what happened after you wrapped your arms around his waist, too overwhelmed with gratitude to think if an embrace was even appropriate. It was the middle of the night, so you had an excuse if he shoved you off him. But surprisingly, he didn’t.
You broke the embrace and gathered up your book and computer. “Seriously, I owe you big time for this. You’re really saving my life here.”
“Go write your paper, [F/N].” He ordered. “We can discuss why you conflate your academics and your life during our next appointment. For now, make yourself at home.”
And that you did. Dr. Lecter retired back to bed and you spent a solid four hours typing away. An antique grandfather clock kept count for you. When you couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer, you sent the paper off to your professor, editing be damned. You let sleep compel you, comforted by the fact that you didn't have to think about your paper for at least another week before the grading period was over.
Dr. Lecter’s desk was the most comfortable surface in the world to you that night, because you slept for six hours with only your arms as a pillow. It was the first rest your body had gotten in quite some time. You were gently coaxed awake by the smell of something delicious.
You followed the smell into a kitchen that could rival those of Michelin-starred restaurants. Dr. Lecter was hard at work, cooking something that enticed your nose. He cracked an egg and looked up at you. “Good morning, Miss [L/N].”
“I’m sorry.” You said, shaking your head shamefully.
“For?” He asked, fixing his attention back on his recipe.
“Falling asleep.” You dropped your shoulders.
“I told you to make yourself at home, did I not?” He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. This time, he sounded like he was actually going to scold you. “Tell me, do you sleep at your desk at home?”
“I try not to.” You answer with a shrug.
“But when you feel yourself falling asleep, you usually put yourself to bed, right?” He continued.
You started to feel a bit stupid. “...yeah.”
He poked at some sausage links in a frying pan, letting out a sizzle. “You could have taken the couch.”
“I guess I was just too sleepy to think of that.” You explained, preparing to be psychoanalyzed no matter what you said.
“No, you were just too polite to push the imagined boundaries of my invitation.” He concluded, busying his hands with plating whatever it was he was making. His tone was comfortingly familiar. “Miss [L/N], don’t sacrifice your comfort for what you think I perceive to be rude. If I found you rude, you’d know it.”
"I'm sorry." You repeated.
"Don't apologize." He said, reaching for the pepper mill. "I know your anxiety disorder makes you feel like you are a burden. I assure you, you are not. I want you to know for next time that the couch is open. Or you could take the guest bedroom."
You stopped yourself before you could apologize again. You momentarily pondered what he had to say before uttering a quiet but convicted "Thank you."
"You're very welcome." Dr. Lecter slid a plate across the table in your direction. "Eat, my dear."
You didn't need to be told twice. You usually didn’t care for sausage, but reconsidered when you took a bite. The meat was so flavorful and rich, a little noise of delight escaped your lips.
Dr. Lecter smiled, your little moan sending his ego through the roof. “You like it?”
“It’s delicious.” You put your fork down, your face flush with embarrassment. “Way better than the food at the dining hall.”
“Miss [L/N],” Dr. Lecter began, putting an extra sausage link on your plate. “If you find yourself in need of psychology texts, I’d be happy to extend my invitation indefinitely.”
You nearly choked on your eggs. “On god?”
“Given that you arrive sometime before midnight and perhaps call ahead, yes.” He answered. “Your studies are your life and breath, after all. You would find yourself very accommodated to here.”
This time, you'd really take him up on his offer.
#hannibal x reader#hannibal x you#hannibal nbc#hannibal lecter#reader insert#first fic#its probably crap#an attempt was made
223 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Last First Kiss
Miya Atsumu x Reader Headcanons
notes: I felt really bad about leaving you guys with so much Atsumu angst in those fake wedding date hcs that I decided to write some proper, fluffy New Girl inspired hcs.
warnings: mentions of past infidelity but otherwise happiness guaranteed
💋 It all started when you walked in on your boyfriend of four years cheating on you. With literally nowhere else to go (considering you had moved in with him and it was his name on the lease), you had shown up on Atsumu’s doorstep in a daze, asking if you could stay in his spare room for a few days while you tried to come to terms with your new reality, which is that you were now single and homeless.
💋 You and Atsumu had always been friendly, even if you had never exactly been friends. He was always the guy that you could have a laugh with in a group setting, but you never knew him well enough to actually hang out just the two of you. In fact, the only reason you even ended up at his place was because you had dropped your purse (which contained your phone, wallet, cash, and credit cards) on the living room floor in pure shock when you saw some woman who wasn’t you with her mouth around your boyfriend’s dick, and Atsumu was the only person you knew who lived within walking distance.
💋 A few days ends up turning into six months. This means that Atsumu is there when you cry so much that it feels like the tears will never end. He’s there when you monopolize the living room TV, sitting through the romcom marathons without complaint. He’s there when you fill the freezer with so much ice cream that you have to move everything else in it into the fridge. It also means that he’s there when you decide that it’s time to stop moping and get back into the dating pool -- and it doesn’t go well.
💋 It’s the first date you’ve gone on since the break-up. You spend all day freaking out because this is the first first date you’ve had in over four years. Atsumu looks at you like you’re crazy when you demand he tell you what young people do on first dates these days.
💋 You’re so worried and incapable of doing anything that Atsumu’s the one who has to pick out your outfit, assuring you, “Look, this guy’s the lucky one, not you. He’s the one who needs to impress ya, not the other way ’round, got it? Now go get lucky!” before he sends you off on your date with a cheesy but encouraging thumbs up.
💋 But it all ends up being for naught because four hours later, you trudge through the front door, face buried in your hands, embarrassment so great that you’re trying to will yourself to just disappear into nothingness. Atsumu watches in confusion as you shuffle into the living room, grab the blanket off the back of the couch, wrap it around yourself until you’ve bundled yourself up in a blanket burrito, and collapse next to him pathetically.
💋 “How was yer date?” he asks and you just let out a whine that’s so high-pitched, Atsumu worries it might actually damage his hearing. He tries to console you, assuring you that it was just a first date and there are plenty of other fish in the sea and that the hardest part is over now because at least you’re now back out there. He continues to feed you well-meaning platitude after well-meaning platitude until finally you can’t take it anymore.
💋 You peek your eyes out at him from the end of your blanket burrito just enough to give him a glare that shuts him up. “So, what happened? Was he a jerk? Was he boring? Was he ugly?” You sigh heavily and fully pop your head out of your cocoon, your hair now sticking up at odd angles.
💋 “No, he was great and we had so much fun together,” you tell him, but the tone of your voice says otherwise. Atsumu tosses you a confused, “Then what’s the problem?” that makes your face scrunch up in embarrassment as you let out another whine as you replay how the date ended in your mind.
💋 “He was such a gentleman and he was so nice. We were downstairs in front of the building and I could tell he wanted to kiss me and he started to slowly lean in and I freaked out and screamed then I gave him a punch to the shoulder, bowed, shook his hand, and called him ‘buddy’ before I literally ran inside,” you blurt out, all in one breath. You open an eye to look at Atsumu, who’s staring back at you with pure horror written on his face.
💋 “Why? Why would ya do that?” he finally manages to ask once he’s over his shock and you groan, wiggling in your burrito until you can pull your arms free so that you can hide your face in your hands for the umpteenth time. “If ya don’t want to kiss him, then don’t kiss him!”
💋 “But I thought I did wanna kiss him! I thought I was ready!” you groan. “But when he was leaning in, I just...” you trail off and when Atsumu prompts you to continue, you just sigh wearily before dropping your head back to look up at the ceiling tiredly. “You wouldn’t get it.”
💋 “Try me,” he offers and although you refuse to look at him out of embarrassment, you can hear his sincerity. You let out another, quieter sigh. “I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with Shinji. I wanted to it all with him -- get married, have babies, grow old together.” You glance over at Atsumu and see how his expression has softened. “And when I saw Taichi coming closer, all I could think about was how I couldn’t see myself doing any of those things with him.”
💋 He’s quiet as he takes in what you’ve just said, thinking over your words before he gives you a kind smile that puts you at ease. “Don’t ya think yer worrying too much over this? It’s just a first date. If ya wanna kiss him, then just kiss him. Maybe you’ll feel that magic when ya do. Live in the moment a little.”
💋 "Look, promise you won’t think I’m being stupid?” you ask softly and you wait for him to nod before continuing. “I want the next first kiss I have with someone to be the last first kiss I ever have. Even if it’s not actually the case and even if things don’t end up working out. In the moment when it’s happening, I want it to feel like it could be my last first kiss. And I just...didn’t feel that with Taichi. It just felt like any other first kiss.”
💋 You wait for him to laugh or tell you that you’re overthinking things. You wait for him to say that all the romcoms you’ve been watching have distorted your sense of reality. You wait for him to tell you that you just need to get laid. But in the six months that you’ve been living with Atsumu, you’ve learned that he never does what's expected.
💋 “I don’t think that’s stupid,” he says simply after a few moments and now it’s your turn to be shocked. The look he’s giving you is just so kind that it makes your heart flutter happily in your chest, the disastrous end to your date slipping further and further into the recesses of your mind.
💋 “Y’know, we’ve known each other awhile now, but it’s only since ya moved in that I’ve realized how soft ya are.” Soft. He says it thoughtfully. He’s not teasing you or pointing out some sort of perceived flaw. The word sounds almost...fond. “Yer heart’s soft.”
💋 The statement hangs over the living room, but it doesn’t feel heavy or oppressive. It feels warm and comforting. It feels like someone finally understands you. He then drops his hand on top of your head and smooths down your messy hair affectionately. “Don’t feel stupid for wanting to be soft, okay?”
💋 The sudden lump in your throat keeps you from being able to say anything in response, so you beam back at him and nod your head, furiously blinking away the tears that you can feel threatening creeping up on you. He smiles back in return and brushes your hair behind your ear before he stands up. “I gotta get up early tomorrow for practice,” he says. “Ya gonna be alright?”
💋 “Yeah, I will,” you assure him, meaning it wholeheartedly. But then you smile at him sheepishly and hold out your hands. “Can you help me out of this blanket though? I think I’m stuck.” He rolls his eyes dramatically, but makes no other complaint as he takes your hands in his and helps you stand.
💋 He then lets go of one of your hands to grab onto the end of the blanket, using the hand holding yours to slowly twirl you around twice until the blanket comes fully loose and he can drop it onto the couch. Slightly dizzy, you clutch his forearm with your free hand and take a moment to reorient yourself with a soft giggle.
💋 When you look up at him, you see the same softness in his eyes that he seems to see in you and it catches you by surprise. Your heart starts to beat a little more quickly in your chest, but you don’t know why. All of a sudden, you realize how little space there is between the two of you -- only a couple of inches at most.
💋 And then his lips are on yours -- needy, hungry, desperate, soft. The kiss feels like a flash fire. Where only moments ago, you were feeling warm and content and fuzzy, you’re now at the mercy of a white-hot heat that starts in the pit of your stomach and spreads out so rapidly that it’s consumed your entire being in a millisecond.
💋 His arms are wrapped around your waist, pulling you close before one slides up your back and he buries his fingers in your hair, quickly running them through your stands. Then both hands are running down your sides before they’re both on your back once again, his touch warm through the fabric of the dress he picked out. It’s like he’s so eager to feel every inch of you that he can’t keep his hands in one spot -- he needs to feel all of you.
💋 It’s not even that deep of a kiss, his tongue only briefly darts out to run over your bottom lip before it returns back to his mouth. Instead it’s really just his lips moving against yours, hinting at what more might feel like but never going far enough to actually let you have it. And it just makes you more desperate as you return the kiss.
💋 But just like a flash fire, it’s over almost as quickly as it began. He gives you one, two, three more kisses before he’s pulling away, your foreheads resting against each other, his breath hot on your face where it mingles with yours as you both pant for air. Then, he leans in and gives you one final, chaste, soft kiss before he meets your glazed eyes.
💋 “A last first kiss, huh?” he murmurs, his voice rough and low and threatening to ignite the fire all over again. His hands slowly slip from you down to his sides and you miss the warmth of his touch already. You can only dumbly nod in return, your breathing still shaky as you try to catch it. The corners of his lips twitch upwards, something fun and mischievous and affectionate and...happy written plain across his face.
💋 “Goodnight,” he says gently and once again, all you can do is nod, still too dazed to do anything else. He seems to understand your plight because you can see how his eyes are shining with mirth. But his flushed face is a clear giveaway that he’s just as affected as you are.
💋 You’re still frozen in place as you watch him walk away until his broad shoulders disappear from sight and you hear the door to his bedroom close. Slowly, you raise a trembling hand up to your face and brush your fingers against your still-tingling lips, where you can still feel the ghost of Atsumu’s.
💋 Your mind is racing, but there’s only one thought that you’re able to fully grasp onto, desperate not to let it go as a small, soft smile appears on your face. You want more than anything for that to be the last first kiss you ever have.
#miya atsumu#miya atsumu x reader#atsumu miya#atsumu miya x reader#atsumu x reader#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyu x reader#hq hc
295 notes
·
View notes
Text
Phone Tag
Word count: 3512
Requested: “My idea was that the reader thought Kelly was cheating on her on tour, and when he comes home, he finds her really upset and comforts her and assures her that he only loves her”
Requested by @littlemisscare-all
A/N: I just want to thank @littlemisscare-all for the request and letting me message her about questions I had. Kelly Nickels is a new character I’m writing and she was patient with my questions and so helpful. This is a little longer than my usual one shots so I hope you like it. I have three requests I need to write on top of my regular stuff I want to put out so feel free to make a request but I’m going to say the time might be up to a week now. I also have a tag list you can be added to by just messaging me or filling out the form. Please let me know what you think ❤️
Tag List: @thenobodies-inc , @littlemisscare-all , @agroupiewhore, @ayablackwood
Ring, Ring, Ring
The constant sound of the phone trying to connect with room 828 was filling my head. The high pitched sound bouncing around your mind as you wished he’d pick up. After another minute of the phone going unanswered you hung up, wiping my sweat filled palms on the denim dress hastily.
You could see your fingers trembling, the anxiety of the situation coming out in physical ailment as your trembling hands started to get numb. You shook out your hands, flexing them, cracking them, pushing them together, anything to just calm yourself down enough to feel them again. Your heart was beating so fast that it felt like it had turned on its engine and got lodged in your throat when it pressed the gas. You couldn’t swallow down the pounding so you tried instead to take a gulp of air. Breathing in through your nose and out of your mouth. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Even though you felt like you were not getting enough air when you breathed through your nose you continued anyway trying to calm your body that seemed to be fighting you. You were trying anything to try and stop the full fledged anxiety attack from coming on.
You stepped back into the store, trying not to make eye contact with your friend and coworker as you started to fold the sweaters on the front side table. Your hands needed to stay busy as you tried to avert your eyes from anyone, tears pooling in them. You couldn’t think about the situation or you’d start crying. But fuck, it had been almost a week since You had heard from your boyfriend. Your hand went to my pocket, pulling out the ripped out notebook paper Kelly had given you with the name, date, room number and phone number for each hotel. He was supposed to be in Phoenix in room 828 at the Hilton Hotel. Which you had already called seven times throughout the day without any response.
“Y/N, are you okay?” Your coworker touched your shoulder and you let out a sob, hands flying to your face. The feeling of someone touching you after the last month of being alone was too much. You broke feeling the loneliness blanketing over you, covering you. Your coworker was leading you to the breakroom, thankful no one was in the shop to see you have a complete mental breakdown.
He had promised you that you would talk every day; he had seen the nervous look in your eyes when the guys talked about the tour. All the girls that would be throwing themselves at the band. They were all about the three fundamentals: sex, drugs and rock n roll. How were you going to compete with something you weren't there to see?
“Jesus Fucking Christ, where the fuck is that paper?” Kelly was tearing apart the tour bus looking for a yellow piece of legal paper that you had written down all the numbers to call you on. He had lost it a week ago after he had drunkenly started a shot game with Phil that night and that had proved to be a horrible mistake.
When he had woken up, on the kitchen floor of the tour bus, a hangover so bad he wanted to fling himself into the highway all he could think about was calling the person that he loved and telling her about his night. The sound of her voice coaxing the hangover out of him and filling him up with the love she had for him. He had pushed himself off the floor, grabbing his cigarettes from his jacket and digging in the inside pocket for the list of numbers, but the paper was gone.
It had been six days since he had lost the numbers and as much as he tried to remember a phone number he couldn’t even think of one. He had expected a phone call to explain everything but the problem was that phone call had never come. This was just another layer of frustration that Kelly couldn't figure out. For the first few weeks of the tour he had gotten the calls at the hotel but a night before he lost the number the call hadn’t come in.
So now, being the very logical, even headed, and not complete maniac that he was, Kelly was tearing apart every single part of the tour bus. Ripping open trash bags, pulling apart beds, and crawling under the table that had a weird sticky substance underneath. As he pushed half drank beer cans aside he saw the flap of yellow sticking out. His heart leapt to his throat as he snatched up the paper, flipping it over and groaning audibly. The paper had gotten saturated. One number was partially visible with only a couple numbers melting together.
Walking off the tour bus he headed over to the payphone, setting a handful of change on the metal bottom as he started to dial different combinations of the number hoping that he could finally reach his girlfriend. Hoping that her lack of calls to him didn’t mean they had broken up or what if she had met someone else? She did have that fucking girlfriend who didn’t like him. What if she had gone out to The Roxy and met someone else?
He gripped the paper so hard in his hand as the phone rang and he thought of you with someone else. He needed to talk to you,
You were walking home, unable to work as your mind went a million miles a minute. Your heart thumping so loudly that your own thoughts were muted and just scenarios were popping in your head. Images of Kelly with his arm around another girl, disheveled hotel rooms with discarded clothes, his lips worshiping someone else's body. You stopped on the sidewalk closing your eyes, fists tightening as you told yourself not to scratch your arms. It was all in your head. This was all in your head and not real.
Another shaky step towards your apartment. Your eyes were on the payphone at the end of the block and you figured you could try one more time to call the hotel. Maybe when you heard his voice it would put out the fire of your mind. He could calm your anxiety, easing you from the panic attacks it caused and draw you in with the safety of his voice. He must have known how crazy you were going and when he finally talked to you he would have a logical explanation for why he had disappeared.
As you convinced yourself that he was going to answer this time, you could feel the burning bile in your gut start to be put out as the rational part of your mind tried to make a little room for you to have hope. The way your hands trembled as you took out a dime, sliding it into the slot and dialing the number, let you know that the temporary band aid your rational side had put on your anxiety wasn’t going to stick for very long. If Kelly didn’t answer it was going to be ripped off and you’d be left with the exposed wound that you would need to deal with..
Ring...Ring...Ri-
“Hello?” your heart caught in your throat, and you could feel your eyes widening as you heard a voice answer the phone on the other end, “Hello, is anyone there?” The very female voice that was answering the phone was not your boyfriend.
“Kelly?” his name left your lips, almost a whimper. All of the worst situations that you imagined could be happening in your head seemed to come to life now. It wasn’t just in your head, a woman was answering his hotel phone.
“Ohhhh, they’re in the shower. If you call back in an hour-” you hung up the phone. It took you four tries before you could get the receiver on the cradle because the shaking in your hand was running through your entire body now. You tried to crack your fingers, a weak attempt to get some control of the motions of your body.
In the shower. If he was taking a shower at 4pm what was he washing off of himself? Who was the girl who had answered the phone? Had he not answered because he had been so busy with her all day? You dry heaved in front of the payphone, sucking in air when nothing came out. You wanted to go home and hide, burying yourself under blankets until the weight of the sadness lifted. Not that you were sure it was ever going to lift because you had just caught him cheating on you.
It was a miracle that you made it to the apartment. You dropped your keys twice, your hands not working how they were supposed to. Your grip on them slipping and letting them fall through your fingers. Had you let Kelly fall through your fingers?
You hissed out a curse, shouldering into your apartment and locking the door behind you. You were off of work tomorrow so you could stay holed up inside the apartment for at least twenty four hours before anyone would think to call. That gave you time to wallow in your emotions and feel everything you needed to feel.
Looking around at the space it dawned on you that you would need to leave. Separate your things and get out of the city before he comes back to it. Which didn’t give you enough time at all because he would be back in two days for the LA show at the Whisky a Go Go, Where were you going to live? Maybe you could find a roommate or you could always stay with your best friend. She would let you in. There was so much to do and so much to figure out but you needed to lay down and figure it out from the comfort of the bed.
On the way to the bed you tripped over the phone you had kept beside it for the past few days hoping for Kelly to finally call you. You looked at the phone hanging off the hook, knowing if anyone called you they would just get the busy signal but you didn’t hang it back up. Kelly was too busy in some hotel room with a strange girl and he hadn’t bothered to call you in a week anyway. You needed to just get in bed and mourn your relationship. You’d move out tomorrow and start a new life without him.
Kelly hung up the phone, looking at his apartment phone number that the girl at the shop had just given to him. He had missed you by twenty minutes and from what he had just heard you were in bad shape.He sucked in his bottom lip as he dialed the home number. He would explain everything to you as soon as he had you on the phone. He could already picture you asking him if he had at least won the drinking game.
“What the fuck?” He looked at the phone when he got the busy signal. It had to be the right number. He had repeated the number twice to make sure that he got the correct number and now he was getting a busy signal. He dialed again, getting the same alert sound. Then again. And again. He stopped after constantly calling for ten minutes to take a breath. He was going to need to have a beer and try again.
He tried calling twenty minutes later, an hour, three hours, and before he went on stage for the show. His mind was thinking of how you could be on the phone for that long. He frowned as he grabbed his bass going over to the band's manager. He needed to get home sooner than the tour bus would take him.
You got out of the shower, wrapping your sweater around you over your nightgown. Your eyes skimmed the apartment where you had spent the last four hours cleaning like a maniac and separating everything. Your records were in a milkcrate by the door, along with a trash bag of all your clothes. Things like pots and pans didn’t seem worth fighting over. You would leave those for him. Even though you weren’t even sure if Kelly knew how to fry an egg.
Twirling a piece of hair around your finger you tried to calm the uneasy feeling filling you. He had been the one who hadn't answered your calls or called you. He was the one who had a girl answer the phone in his room. He wanted you to leave but he didn’t want to see the hurt he caused by telling you it was over. Your friends had all warned you about dating a rockstar so it wasn’t like you could expect much sympathy from them. But you had been with Kelly for over a year and hadn’t seen it coming. It felt like you were blindsided. To love someone so much had really just opened you up to the pain you were feeling now.
Moving to the bedroom you looked around the room, the pit of your stomach turning in sadness as you thought about this being the final time you sleep in this bed. The tears boiling up and tumbling down your face as you sat on his side, touching the pillow that he slept on. You could smell his aftershave and scent on his pillow just making you cry even harder. The feeling in the pit of your stomach growing as you missed someone who was gone.
Over your tears you didn’t hear the sound of the front door opening. You were wrapped around a pillow mind racing in a thick fog of all the reasons you weren’t good enough. Why couldn't he love you? Could anyone love you?
“Y/N, baby, what’s wrong?” Arms were wrapped around you. You were being pulled onto a lap, hair pushed away from your tear stained face.
“K-Kelly?” It comes out weekly, almost afraid you’re hallucinating arms wrapped around you, fingers touching your tears, pushing the puddles that gathered on your skin with an expert flick of a thumb.
“Yeah, baby, I’m here. What happened? Why are you so upset? Who do I need to fight?” He was trying to defuse the situation with humor to drag you out of your hysterics. But he was the one that had gotten you to this place.
Sitting up you pushed yourself off his lap, a frown forming on his face from this action. You could feel the way your hands were starting to go numb as you wiped your tears, knowing there was going to be a confrontation with him.
“I called you for a week, Kelly. I called all the numbers multiple times a day and you didn’t answer. You didn’t call me back.” The way he frowned at this didn’t go unnoticed by you. You took it as a sign of his guilt. He had been ignoring you on purpose. “And I called this afternoon and a girl answered from your hotel room.” He stood up suddenly shaking his head.
“No, no, no.” You rolled your eyes at his weak attempt to lie about the fact you had spoken to a girl that was in his room, “Oh fuck, we didn’t even check into the hotel today. I was on the tour bus looking for the list of numbers you had written down for me.” He was digging into his leather jacket pocket looking for the yellow paper. You were trying to process what he was saying.
“But they said you were in the shower when I asked for you.” You said with a frown, trying to process what he was saying. It would be easy to believe him, tryst him blindly and forget all the drama but there were so many things that just weren’t adding up. He produced the yellow list holding it up with the missing pieces and wet pen running into a blurred mix of ink.
“Call the hotel now. I’m obviously here with you. Maybe they heard you wrong?” He knew you needed real proof. He looked at the phone on the floor that was off the receiver, “I tried to call you today. I guess this explains the busy signal.” He moved to hang it back up.
“I called you and you didn’t answer all week and you didn’t even call me once.” You pointed out. “You’re on tour with all your horny band members and I’ve been out with you all before.” You didn’t want to ask him because you knew that he would answer you honestly. He couldn’t lie to you, even on little things he was always 100% honest. Which you had found out one night when you tried on a new dress and asked how you looked and he had told you the dress looked like a rejected extra from a Cyndi Lauper music video.
“I lost the phone numbers when I was drinking with Phil one night. It took me a week to find them on the bus.” He confessed. That story seemed pretty on par for who they were, “And are you asking if I was stupid enough to cheat on you?” At the words you went white, gripping the sheets. Kelly took in your reaction and knew that’s exactly what you were thinking had happened. “Listen, Y/N.” He moved over to the bed gripping your face in his hands, stroking your cheeks with his thumbs and giving him a soft smile, “I love you. Just you. And I wouldn’t do anything to ever lose your love. I spent a week trying to find a paper just so I could hear your voice. I was waiting for you to call all week, baby. Why didn’t you call me?” The soft way he spoke was melting the ice in your veins, calming you with the right touches and bringing you to the current situation happening in real life and not just in your head.
“I called you so much. I called all the hotels that you told me to call. But you never answered me.” You pointed to a crumpled up ball on the nightstand. Watching him grab it and smooth out the page of numbers.
“Oh shit.” He rubbed his chin and looked up at you with an almost embarrassed look. You knew exactly what that look was. He had made a mistake, “So, um, these hotels are out of order. I must have copied them backwards because this one.” He pointed at the last hotel you had called today. “Should have been here.” He pointed a few up and you sighed in relief. The tears still came flowing out but this time in relief, “I’m an idiot. I’m sorry, baby.” He reached out, folding you to him. Your body was relaxed, allowing him to calm you with his back rubs and head kisses. Comforting you by holding you in his arms and reminding you that he loved you with his touch.
“I’m sewing my name and our telephone number into all your clothes tomorrow.” You muttered after a little while. He chuckled, kissing the top of your head.
“Next time, just come on tour with us. That way we never have to worry about playing phone tag.” You nodded your head listening to his heart beat. “We’re going to have to spend tomorrow morning unpacking your stuff. But I do respect your commitment to cut ties so thoroughly that you organized the records.” He got the laugh out of you that he was looking for. You sat up, shrugging your shoulders.
“I was just looking for an excuse to steal your Bowie records.” You teased him. He scoffed, pulling you to lay down beside him.
“I flew back here to be with you, Y/N. The least you could do is not threaten to steal my records.” Kelly pulled you close to him. “Do you feel better now that I’m back?” The concern in his voice warmed you to the core. You nodded your head at him. “Now you know you’re stuck with me and how wrapped around your finger I am.” You sighed out softly, eyes heavy as you felt like you could finally get some sleep after having a week of anxiety dreams and panic attacks preventing you from getting more than a tossing turning sleep for the week.
“Maybe next time send me a postcard to let me know you love me.” You said through a sleepy haze.
“Maybe I’ll train carrier ducks to send messages. Or learn how to do smoke signals.” A smile slipped out as you cuddled closer letting him lull you to sleep with his soft touches and soft mutters. He loved you, you could feel it. And that was all you needed
#kelly nickels#la guns#L.A Guns#kellly nickels imagine#Kelly nickels headcanon#Kelly nickels fanfic#request
88 notes
·
View notes
Text
WELCOME TO THE FRIEZA FORCE, MY DEAR
(FRIEZA X READER)
::The following story takes place after DragonBall Fighterz villains arc. I do not own any DBZ characters. Enjoy the story!::
It has been over a month since you had returned to your own body after Frieza kicked you out despite you accepting his offer to join him. Honestly you didn’t have much to keep you here on earth anyway since bad luck had a habit of shooting down your spirits. It all started when you had graduated from high school; your dad suffered from a stroke and eventually succumbed to it within two months, your brother was killed in a car crash with your mother two years later, and just recently you had broken up with your boyfriend whom you’ve been dating for four years after finding out that he was cheating on you with another woman. You’ve at least managed to keep your job at a fast food restaurant thanks to your hard working attitude,however; your heart has been closed off since the breakup and you were tired of all the misery in your life so far that it wouldn’t have even mattered if you ended up robbed, murdered or worse.
Then one day you found yourself linked up with Frieza. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how much of an evil prick he was after the way he spoke to you for the first time. He was obviously not a happy camper when he noticed you were controlling his body and not him. Although you couldn’t necessarily blame him since body snatching wasn’t your cup of tea either. Frieza had openly expressed his disgust towards you many times and while his attitude may have annoyed you to no end you somehow oddly find some comfort in it. Perhaps it was because you too had days where you just had to let out your frustrations though it was all in private. You’ve powered through mentally with Frieza because the sting of your ex’s betrayal was still fresh. But working with the tyrant hasn’t been so terrible not when you had experienced his amazing power which would’ve been found in a comic book or a superhero movie. You felt invincible, untouchable almost like a god and you loved it especially the flying part.
The link you had with Frieza had become more stronger with each battle and along the way you encountered Nappa, Captain Ginyu and the Ginyu force, Cell, Goku, Vegeta, Krillin,and the rest of the z fighters. Through them you experienced each of their own unique powers and got along with most of them. Even Frieza was showing subtle signs of him warming up to you which you were grateful for. But deep down you couldn’t help but develop some attachments to the emperor of the universe himself. You weren’t sure if he had felt the same way as you when he had offered you a position in his army after you both took out Android 21 and you knew for a fact that you wouldn’t make a good soldier since part of Frieza’s requirements to joining the Frieza force included strength which you weren’t confident about despite how well you were doing with the link. But of course if it meant that you could start your life anew and leave your misfortune behind then you’d gladly take it. Then afterwards Frieza had warmly welcomed you to join his forces when Android 21 was taken down at last. You smiled at the thought of being in space looking at the stars and planets while riding in a spaceship boldly going where no human has ever gone before. Suddenly Frieza, Cell, Ginyu and Nappa immediately began charging up when their powers had returned to them, getting ready to attack Goku and the gang and before you knew it Frieza chased you out of his body so he could fight Goku without you holding him back. Devastated and heartbroken at the tyrant’s actions you took to the skies leaving Frieza to exact his revenge on his sayian nemesis.
That was the last time you saw him and you never got to tell him how you felt about him. You shook your head as you headed into work wiping away your tears deciding that you were better off without him anyway. You didn’t have much to offer to a guy like that except for your loyalty and love which you doubted that he would be capable of. Two hours in and the events of last month had already been pushed to the back of your mind as you worked hard cleaning dishes, prepping up food, and sweeping up the floor. The lights flickered faintly above and you thought to yourself that the light bulbs must be starting to give out. You were wiping down the tables when a random guy came up to you in an attempt to flirt with you but you ignored him completely.
“What time do you get off, cutie?” The man asked you.
“Sorry sir but I cannot indulge such information to someone I do not know.” You said with a customer friendly tone which surprised you internally to hear such words coming from your own mouth. Apparently you picked up some of Frieza’s elegant speech pattern while you were linked with him.
The man looked surprised in a happy way. “Fancy way of talking, eh? Then how about you let me take you somewhere fancy to eat after you get off?”
“No thank you.” You said as you started to get irritated with him. The lights above you started to flicker.
“Don’t be like that, baby. I can treat you real nice.” The guy insisted.
“Please sir, I have work to do and I am not interested. Have a nice day.” You told him as you kept your tone friendly while your temper was rising. The lights flickered faster causing several of the staff and customers to look in confusion.
“C’mon don’t tell me that a pretty face like you already has a boyfriend?” Inquired the guy.
Now it was starting to get too personal for your liking as the memories of your ex flowed into your mind like a stream of water. Anger was bubbling up as the flickering lights intensified causing everyone to become concerned and even scared. “That is no concern of yours. Now please leave me alone and have a nice day.” You clenched your teeth as you managed to say in a sweet tone while keeping a grip on your temper. You were getting ready to head back into the kitchen when you felt a hand grab your arm and pulled you back.
“What’s the matter, bitch?” The guy hissed. “You think you’re too good to have a good time with guys like me?” He smelled like he hasn’t bathed in a week and his grip on you grew tighter.
Your coworkers and a few customers saw this and attempted to get him to let you go. But the guy insisted that he was your boyfriend and that it was no one’s business.
“SHUT UP JACKASS! YOU’RE NO ONE TO ME!” You yelled angrily at him and at that same time the lights that were flickering above you exploded. Everyone in the store screamed and covered their heads as glass fell upon them. A fire broke out causing several staff members to grab fire extinguishers and put out the fire.
The customers ran out screaming in panic as you were also running out of the store. You didn’t know what was going on but you did know that this had never happened in the restaurant before. So why now? Sounds of police sirens were drawing close as was the firefighters and you just hoped that no one got hurt. Suddenly you felt arms grabbing you by the waist and you were then carried off by someone.
“Hey! Let me go!” You exclaimed. “Put me down! What do you think you’re doing!”
“It’s just us, human!” Said a familiar gruff yet friendly voice.
You turned to see none other than Captain Ginyu of the Ginyu force. “Ginyu!” You cried as you instantly gave him a hug.
“Don’t forget about us, sheila!” Jeice said happily.
“Hey Jeice, Burter, Recoome, Guldo! It’s great to see you guys again!” You grinned as you saw the rest of the Ginyu force. “But how did you know where to find me?”
Ginyu pointed to the scouter on his face. “We detected your ki with these and by the looks of it your ki skyrocketed to another level!”
You looked at him confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Didn’t you see what had just happened at the restaurant?” Burter asked pointing back to where your job was.
You felt your heart sink as you came to realize what they were talking about. “I did that?”
“You sure did!” Recoome said with a smile.
“But that’s never happened before. I don’t understand why it would happen now.” You said still trying to grasp the reality of the situation.
Ginyu looks at you with a sympathetic expression on his face. “Perhaps it’s because you were linked with Lord Frieza and that his ki has awakened yours.”
You looked up in surprise. “Really?”
“That’s the only explanation that I can think of. But let’s get you to Lord Frieza first.” Ginyu said taking off into the sky with the others.
“So Frieza wants to see me now after he booted me out?” You said in a sarcastic tone.
“My apologies, huma-“
“It’s Y/n.” You interrupted Ginyu.
“Y/n. Please forgive Lord Frieza. He has been humiliated twice by Goku and needed to get his revenge for it.” Ginyu said.
You huffed. “Did he succeeded?”
“All I can say is that it ended in a stalemate.”
“Figures.” You rolled your eyes.
“I don’t mean to speak out sir but is no one going to say anything about y/n here being a woman?” Guldo asked.
“Is there something wrong with that?” You asked with a small smile.
“No. Not at all. Just surprised is all.” Guldo said.
Minutes later aboard Frieza’s ship....
Frieza stood by the window as you entered with the Ginyu force leading ahead.
“Lord Frieza, we’ve brought the human with us.” Ginyu said as he bowed.
“Excellent work, Captain Ginyu.” Frieza said in a happy tone while turning slowly to face you. “It has been awhile my dear. You look so much lovelier in person.” He smiles his usual smile that you had come to recognize as his causal expression.
“You don’t seem surprised that I am a girl.” You said observering him and then noticed his tail wiggling about almost like Frieza was glad to see you in the flesh.
“I had Nappa keep a close eye on you afterwards since Saiyans can be easily passed off as humans when their tails are well hidden that is.” Frieza said as he approached you.
“Well no wonder why Nappa has been absent lately.” Guldo mumbled.
You turned your head to glare at Ginyu and the others. “Scouter my ass. You already knew where I was at, didn’t you?”
“Easy Y/n, we weren’t lying about the scouters picking up your ki level. Besides even with Nappa we aren’t familiar with the city you were living in.” Ginyu said.
Frieza cleared his throat getting your attention back onto him who was directly standing in front of you face to face. “As I was saying; I had ordered Nappa to watch over you after the Android 21 incident. When you left I sensed a slight change in your ki and made a mental note to look into it after I delt with that damned Saiyan Goku.”
“I was told that it was a stalemate.” You said.
Frieza grimaced. “It would not have been such a stalemate if Cell hadn’t tried to steal my glory for the last time.” His tail curled up much like how a fist would ball up in anger.
“Did you....kill him?” You asked.
“No, of course not. Goku’s eldest son already did him in with Maijin Buu.” Frieza said. “But enough of that. I believe we have much to discuss about your future here on the Frieza force.”
“Thanks but there’s a concern that I’d like to address with you. Namely my sudden ki rising. Captain Ginyu said that it was the result of our souls being linked together. Is it true?” You asked.
Frieza watched you before motioning for Ginyu and the others to leave the room. They did so without hesitation and now it was just you and him alone. “Indeed it is as you were told. The slight increase of your ki didn’t happen when you and I first met but after destroying Android 21 was when it changed. I have surmised that while you were linked with me your ki was being amplified by mine thus causing it to grow with each battle we’ve faced. Though it is not as strong as mine it’ll at least give you a bit of an edge to defend yourself with.”
“How long do you think it’ll last?” You asked.
Frieza closed his eyes and sighed in annoyance. “Don’t you understand what this means exactly? I’m saying this is permanent. That this newly awakened ki is what you’ll be living with from now on.”
You were dumbfounded at this. You now had powers of your own and yet you were unsure about how to handle it. Or if you could handle it. “Oh boy.” You covered your face with your hands as you rubbed your eyes with them. “This is a lot to take in.”
“For you I have no doubt that it is.” Frieza said flicking his tail casually. “Fortunately you will have plenty of time getting use to it in my army.”
“I probably might but there’s also the issue of controlling it. Before the Ginyu force picked me up I was getting upset with this one guy trying to make a pass at me and when I lost my temper the lights exploded above us.” You told him.
Frieza hummed with curiosity. “Certain emotions often trigger such power like yours. Perhaps that will be something we can work on together.” His tail then slowly wraps around your waist as he pulls your body into his. “I’m sure that you will find it most enjoyable.”
You blushed at how close you were to him and even more so when his tail pulsed. “Frieza? Just to be honest with you, I’m still upset with you for kicking me out.”
“I had a score to settle with Goku. You of all people should understand that. Especially with the amount of time that we’ve spent together sharing the same body.” Frieza said in a stern tone as he took your chin into his hand. “It’s Y/n, yes?”
You nodded.
Frieza smiled his mischievous and cruel smile. “Welcome to the Frieza force, my dear y/n.”
198 notes
·
View notes
Text
Misery Business | K. Bakugou
a one shot
✰ SUMMARY the one where you didn’t mean to take the hothead away from his girlfriend, but you did anyway. It was nothing personal, you just knew that Bakugou Katsuki deserved way better than what he was settling for.
PAIRING Taken/Pro-Hero!Bakugou & Fem!Reader
WORD COUNT 4.6K
WARNINGS explicit language, mentions of cheating, cheating lol, suggestive language, angst, and some fluff at the end bc I cannot end my fics in a bad way I am weak sorry!
You were not a home wrecker.
At least, you wouldn’t say that to your own face.
You knew that the crush you had on Bakugou was wrong. You know that no matter how it is that you put it, or however strong your feelings are, or even however long you’ve even had feelings— liking a guy in a relationship was a huge no-no.
You weren’t the kind of girl to go around liking a girl’s boyfriend, though. It’s not like your feelings magically appeared out of thin air and now you’re stuck falling inlove with a guy that finds solitude in someone else— no, you aren’t like that.
Your feelings for Bakugou are much more complex, to say the least.
It all started in high school, when just the mere thought of the boy brought butterflies to your stomach with how strong and courageous he was. From his attractive face, to his blunt and explosive personality, you always found yourself admiring him when given the chance.
All of that went to shit when he decided to finally give one of the girls that were always fawning over him a chance during the beginning of your third year attending Yuuei Academy.
It was like you had gotten punched in the face, and now it feels like you’re just purposely getting stabbing in the heart every time you did as much as look at them.
That definitely explains why you’re sulking at your table during a school dance with a scowl on your face so you don’t have to see the happy couple waltz around the cafeteria floor.
All the top Pro-Heroes were assigned to attend the dance as academy alumni in order to ensure the safety of the students (as well as make sure students even decided to show up). You, being one of the top five heroes, were ordered to show up with no complaints.
The song currently playing finally changed from a low-tempo song to a much higher one, and with that, you decided to make that your imaginary queue to take a walk around the school’s building before returning to the large decorated area.
Your heel-clad feet dragged you all the way across the gymnasium, sending kids smiles if they were in your way and simply telling them that you were “getting some fresh air before the real fun starts.”
The doors slammed shut, and the solitude of the hallways engulfed in dark hues reflected against your strained eyes in a way that made you have to physically restrain your hand from harshly rubbing at it in order to make sure your make up stood intact.
The halls reminded you of a younger you (and by younger, you mean two years. you’re only 20 and already have the mind of some old hag) that used to run through these halls with a mini little green skirt and an imagination you wish you could still understand.
They also reminded you of the blond boy inside. Especially the room you stood in front of right now.
Almost as if it was second nature, your body made its way to Class 1-A: the place where it all began, the place where you met your closest friends, and the place where you fell inlove.
Opening the door, the lights turned on to reveal a classroom almost identical to the one you walked into every day four years ago. The desks were positioned the same, the posters remained in the same spot, and even the words on the chalkboard seemed oddly familiar.
The room reeked of new paint and textbook papers, and the only thing you really wanted to smell was the designer perfume clinging helplessly to your body so the odors of a high school class don’t even think twice about sticking to you.
Your body walked towards your old desk, Seat 12, the dress you wore clinging to your body as you pulled the chair out and nostalgically sat down. You were a first year all over again, and the thought made you laugh.
You looked embarrassing your first year— as embarrassing as someone who looks like you now can get. From the hideously overheated hair, to the emo phase you still seemed to sort of be stuck in, the world seemed too easy no matter what bullshit was going on the minute you sat down at that desk.
That explained how you felt now— no matter how much your heart yearned to be in the hands of Bakugou, the minute the cold sturdiness of the chair touched your warm body, all of that disappeared. For once, nothing in the world mattered. More precisely, Bakugou didn’t matter.
“Tch, I knew you’d be in here.” Annnddd there goes that.
Your eyes widened, now staring at a smirking blond wearing a black and white tux instead of the chalkboard you once zoned out on.
His arms were crossed against his muscular chest, and the muscles outlined the button up shirt in a way that should just be downright illegal. His face was gleaming with mischief, slowly walking his way over to the empty desk directly next to yours, taking a seat, and positioning his body in a lazy manner with his legs propped up against the table. Just like before.
“You know, this brings back a lot of shitty memories.” He grunted, stretching his arms behind his head and lolling his head to face you.
You nodded in response, glancing your head up to look at the lights in a way to move the gears in your brain to say something. Literally the same thing you used to do during Midnight’s long, tedious classes.
“Yea, a bunch of ones I’d much rather forget.” You said, looking over at him and watching as his eyes stared directly at the window you always found him staring out of when he wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone in class.
“Always hearing your annoying ass mumble and suck your teeth used to really piss me off.” His words were masked with seriousness, trying to hide the playful smirk on his lips you identified much too quickly. With that, a scoff left your lips and you crossed your arms.
“Nobody said anything about the pencil you insisted on tapping for hours straight.” Your jab back made him chuckle, looking back at you with vermillion eyes that made you lose all sense of feelings.
Your breath caught in your throat, and you always forgot what it was like to look at anything before you looked into his eyes. That’s how scary it was— how intimidating it was to be under his presence. His eyes captured you, holding you hostage and probably never letting you go.
“At least we didn’t sit next to each other during our third year,” he began, placing a hand loosely around his tie as he continued to look at you in your eyes, “I don’t think I would have ever focused with the humming you did to the same damn song every day.”
“Yeah, instead of me though, you ended up sitting with your future wife.”
Stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID.
It was like word vomit, the snarky tone slipping through your lips as if it was trying its hardest to come off in a jokingly manner, only ending up appearing as sarcastic as possible. It was like the words fell from your tongue quicker than you could punch your own esophagus.
Bakugou stood quiet for a moment, staring at you and knitting his eyebrows together as if deep in thought. Your eyes ended up leading you back to the words Relief Fund written messily against the green chalkboard to save your embarrassment.
You didn’t see the frown itching across Bakugou’s lips.
“We aren’t married, ya know. I don’t know why people decided to start that rumor.” He said, a sigh passing by his lips to quiet his tone as if he was scared his girlfriend was around to hear it.
“Might as well marry her. You’re not really the kind of guy that dates just to date.” Your words struck hesitantly in the room in a timid yet informative voice, and Bakugou watched the board as well so that you were both avoiding each other’s gaze.
“Yeah well I’m not sure, marriage is a big deal.” Bakugou was muttering, and the tone of his voice made you crane your neck over to where he was seated as you stood quiet.
What were you, someone who was basically inlove with him, supposed to say that?
You both stood in silence for a few seconds, the words in your throat itching to escape as the remnants of memories you both had both in class and just together in general filled your vision.
“I always hated this seat because I knew it meant that I would always be the person you would argue with.” You began, closing your eyes and releasing a strained scoff from your glossed lips.
You didn’t know what you were doing, or what you were talking about, but as the moon danced across the pale boy’s face and the music in the cafeteria continued to gently ring through the halls, the only thing you were thinking about doing was speaking more than you ever have.
“Morning after morning, I grew used to your loud voice and extremely hostile—” “HAH? I was NOT—”
You sent him a glare, immediately cutting him off and proceeding your weird speech that just couldn’t let anything go.
“Anyways, morning after morning, I ended up looking forward to the words you decided to call me and yell at me about for the day. It’s like, if it didn’t happen,” your arms moved in an animated way, catching Katsuki’s full attention as he looked on to your rant, “I felt like my day wasn’t really an actual day, ya know?
The one thing you loved appreciated most about Bakugou was his ability to listen. And when you say listen, you mean just listen. His ears were perked up in your direction, shoes turned towards you and eyes watching your movements like a hawk.
“And then—” you gulped, pausing for a second in order to think your words though. It was always now or never to you, the drama giving you a sense of hope against a man like that.
It’s either I bring it up now, or I never get to speak my peace, and I refuse to be one of those people showing up to the wedding yelling ‘I oppose.’
“And then it was here that I realized I was the biggest idiot alive by feeling the way I felt about this one person.” You said, eyes glaring at the wall in front of you blankly as you cowered behind the whisps of your lashes.
Bakugou said nothing, but from the corner of you eye, you could see him staring at the side of your face with an expression you had never really see on him.
“I spent years pining after some dumbass that didn’t even see the genuine interest I had in him.” Your words were like alcohol, and Bakugou was too busy drinking them all in to fully acknowledge what you were talking about.
“I watched him give in to this one girl though,” a lightbulb when off in the boy’s head and for once, he felt like the idiot in the room, “a girl that doesn’t even care for him.”
“Y/N..” Bakugou growled, almost as if he was threatening you and warning you to tread on light waters.
If there was one thing he ever respected about you though, it was that you were never scared of him.
Your eyes snapped towards him, a scowl on your face as you began to feel anger bubbling up in your stomach from the way he tried to shut you up. You were finally speaking your peace and he’s too much of a coward to let you finish?
“You know, I thought the first red flag of her trying to change his attitude was enough. I thought that maybe, just maybe, after her telling him that being number one hero wasn’t really tangible, he’d have some common fucking sense and see what everyone else sees.” Your words were like venom, your eyes not leaving his as you huffed in your seat.
“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” Bakugou’s voice was low and angry, laced with anger as he stared at you just as intensely as you stared at him. Your expression never faltered, and instead, you turned your entire body around in the chair to fully face him with arms across your chest.
“I know exactly what the fuck I’m talking about,” you taunted, your anger only rising in value, “and so the fuck do you, Bakugou.”
“You know she doesn’t give a fuck about you and you know very fucking well she’s only with you because you’re Bakugou Katsuki!”
His name slipping off your tongue brought shivers to his spine as he sat up in his seat and glared at you with the tip of his ears painting themselves a light red hue.
He was angry— not necessarily at you, but at the fact that he was getting called out for something like this. He was getting called out for finally being with a girl and was getting shit for it from someone he saw as a best friend.
“You don’t know shit— you don’t even fucking know her.” His voice began to get louder, the bass in his voice causing your heart to vibrate as you shocked both you and him by slamming a hand against the desk in frustration.
“For God’s sake, Katsuki open your fucking eyes!” You only used his first name when your emotions were high, and that made the man’s hands shake in anger as he watched your outburst.
“She forgot your anniversary! She doesn’t make you your favorite food— fuck she doesn’t even kiss you unless there’s a shitty camera around!” You stood up, stomping your feet and watching as he stood up quickly after you and scowled over at your angry face.
“She doesn’t care enough to remember shit that you don’t like which is why you always end up at stupid shit like this and she doesn’t even care to meet your friends!” Your voice was now loud, the music of the cafeteria being long forgotten as you huffed over at him and slammed a finger into his chest at every syllable you spoke.
“You want to know what I think about her, Bakugou? Bestfriend to bestfriend?” The words bestfriend seethed through your lips like venom as your finger dug itself into the middle of his pecks. He said nothing, waiting for you to continue as his hands balled into fists along his sides.
“I think that you’re such a fucking pussy, you can’t fathom being with someone who doesn’t worship the ground you walk on the way she does.” You growled, narrowing your eyes at his angry expression as you took a step closer to him threateningly.
“I think you hate the fact that I’m right— the fact that she blatantly uses you and doesn’t give a fuck about you, and you hate the fact that I know you so well enough to know that—”
Before the last few letters of the words could slip through your lips, a warm hand slammed against your fingers and snatched it into his grasp as he began to huff in anger. The caramel smell only increased, and you could sense his quirk begin to flare the abnormal heat in his hands up every second.
“You don’t know shit,” he growled, his voice raising as he began to yell at you in your face, “you don’t know shit about me!”
“Are you shitting me?!” You exclaimed, grabbing at the hand that grasped yours with a grip so tight Bakugou had to glance at it quickly before reverting his eyes back to yours.
“I’ve known every little fucking thing about you since we were fifteen!” You yelled, tears threatening to spill down your eyes as the anger inside you finally erupted in a way you couldn’t control.
“Nobody asked you to be so invested in my fucking life anyway!” He retaliated, his voice booming through the room as you stared at him incredulously.
“I was so fucking invested in you because I’m fucking inlove with you, you idiot!”
Your voice silenced the room, the grip he had on your hand tightening as he stared at you with shocked eyes yet the same familiar scowl you were used to. Your expression never faltered the way his eyes did when he heard you, though. You stood your ground.
“It’s so annoying seeing the guy you are inlove with be so unhappy in a relationship because he feels as if he has no one else.” Your voice began to quiet down, a tear slipping down your eye as Bakugou watched you with a slightly softened face.
The hand gripping yours loosened a bit, still gripping it to his chest as he wrapped all his fingers around your bracelet covered wrist.
“It’s so annoying watching you try to force someone else to fall inlove with you, when I’ve been inlove with you for free for years. It hurts watching you try to force yourself to be inlove with a girl you know you don’t want to be with. It just fucking hurts Bakugou, so fucking bad.”
There was a crack in your voice that Bakugou knew all too well from the restless nights you’d spend together, and it didn’t take much for him to engulf your frame into a tight hug as he rested his head against yours. You dived into his chest, the familiar warmth wrapping around you in a way that made a few more tears slip from your eyes. You didn’t make a noise, but he knew that you were hurting.
Neither of you said anything, only holding each other until you removed yourself from him and wiped the tears off your face before he could see the evident streams marking your cheeks. He stared at you silently, as if he was contemplating something.
With timid eyes, he watched you fix the straps of your dress to find something to play with under his gaze. The silence was deafening, and was an unusual characteristic for the boy who always had something to say.
“You know she hates me, that’s why you never bring her around me.” You said, a tone of blankness carrying your voice through the room as your tears dried up and was replaced by the anger haunting your heart once again.
“No she doesn’t, she just feels like we’re too close.” Bakugou retorted, sighing and taking a seat on the chair he once occupied. You followed suit, leaning against the back of your own seat as you faced his body.
“Back in high school, I never told you this, but her and I argued in the bathroom once.” You informed, dryly chuckling as you watched his face contort with confusion.
“I told her that her pretty little face and fucked up manipulation wasn’t going to keep you around in the long run.” You stood quiet after letting him know, gulping some saliva down as you averted your gaze from his body to your painted nails. “Guess I was wrong.”
Bakugou didn’t know what to do. There were many things the man was capable of: he could destroy any villain in his way, was braver than any other fucking half assed hero out there, was smart as fuck, and could manage a relationship as well as being a top pro-hero because that’s just who he was.
What he couldn’t do, though, was fully digest the situation in front of him.
He bit his lip, running a hand across his face in frustration and staring meekly at your face. You couldn’t help but admire his frame as you did before. He was strong, well-built, smelled good, had great posture— there was nothing wrong with him. It was almost surreal.
“We’ve been dating for like two years.” Bakugou’s low voice broke the silence as he stared deep into your now glazed over eyes. You didn’t break the contact, hands rested against each side of the seat as you watched him speak.
“I’ve been dating her for two years and yet...” His words were lost, almost sounding as if he was hesitating the very same way you were earlier. You said nothing though, knowing he would stop expressing himself if you had opened your mouth.
“And yet I can’t help but imagine she was someone else.”
It was like every word he said was the last glass of water, and you drank it up against your skin in a way that brought goosebumps to his. You furrowed your eyebrows, silently signaling for him to continue.
“I never told you this,” he mocked your voice, his scowl still resting against his soft face, “but there was a time where I thought about what it would be like if we were a shitty thing.”
Everyone always assumed Bakugou and you would end up together. Whether it be from watching you both pin are each other relentlessly, to watching you fawn over him, and from just watching your interactions with one another— it almost seemed destined for you two to work out. Keyword: almost.
“Shitty Hair and Dunce-Face tell me all the fucking time that I’m an idiot for choosing this girl over you.” He scoffed, and you couldn’t help but feel your stomach tingle at the use of the name ‘this girl’ for his own girlfriend. “It’s not like I wanted to, you were always my first option.”
You stood quiet. The last sentence was lower than the others and sounded way more vulnerable. You couldn’t help but gape at him, repeating it in your brain as if they was the last words you’d ever hear again. You were always my first option.
Maybe it was the buzz you felt from the energy within the room, maybe you were drunk on adrenaline, or maybe you were just being a fucking dumbass, but the way your feet moved you from your seat to the desk he was sitting at was something you just couldn’t stop in time.
Bakugou hasn’t said anything beyond what he just finished as he watched you gently push his body away and hop up onto the desk. Your body was now inches away from his as you watched him shyly. You were always so obnoxiously close to him, so why is it that his stomach was throwing fireballs at his insides now?
“You deserve better, Katsu..” You lowly began, fiddling with the rings on your fingers as you glanced over at his body through your dark eyelashes. “Does she take care of you?”
Your words hit him in the chest and he couldn’t find it within himself to look away from you. He wasn’t sure what it was, or how you were doing it, but he was entranced by your every word and it was scaring the shit out of him. He found himself shaking his head, eyes never leaving yours as the scowl in his face began to soften.
“You’re a strong man, Katsu,” the way his nickname slipped from your lips nearly made him melt, the unfamiliar feelings he was so used to suppressing caused his head to jumble around and process your words, “you need someone who takes care of you the right way.”
You watched him, a hand lifting towards his head and running itself through his soft yet spikey hair. Bakugou always claimed he hated it when you played with his hair since that was something he thought no one was close enough to be able to touch, but he always seemed to lean into you unknowingly.
His chair scooted closer to the table, your legs now in between his lazily opened ones and his body aching to go closer into your touch.
“What are you suggesting?” His dark voice questioned, eyes staring at you as the once softened expression transformed into another of a slowly rising mischievous smirk. You were sure you were breathing earlier, but now? Not so much.
“Are you suggesting that I need someone else to take care of me?” His words hit you hard, your body facing whiplash from all the sudden changes of emotion.
You looked down shyly, trying to find the confidence you once had that was now lost in the gush of your flustered moment, yet Bakugou’s calloused, warm hand then reached up to your chin to perk it up to face his now standing body.
“Are you saying that you should be the one taking care of me?” He asked, staring at your eyes with more intensity than you were fully even prepared for. Your eyes dug into his as the feeling of his hands on your chin caused your brain to short circuit for a moment.
“You said it yourself, I’m a strong man.” You could feel the confidence drip from his words as you bit your left cheek to keep from whimpering at the intensity laced within the empty classroom. “I need someone to take care of me the right way, and I don’t think this girl is doing it Y/N.”
The use of your name caused you to tug your bottom lip between your teeth and blush behind his words. You didn’t miss the way his eyes quickly zipped from your eyes to your mouth, and back to your eyes once again. His body was now towering over your seated one, looking down at you as if you were the only person in the world at this moment.
Bakugou was out of it, to say the least. Usually he felt as if he had control over situations like this, but even with towering over your frame and his hand gripping your chin, he felt as if you were in complete control of the situation. He knew that his current girlfriend was probably coming to look for him, and he knew that everything was inevitable and he was simply just prolonging it.
That didn’t stop him from sliding his hand across your neck to grip the back of it and pull your face in towards him.
A kiss was the last thing you were expecting, and you would have gasped if his lips weren’t putting you in such a trance. It was like everything had stopped, time stopped, the dance stopped, everything was just on a hiatus.
His tongue danced against yours in a way that made you whimper lowly into his touch. His hands explored your body, rubbing against you in exasperated motions as you reciprocated by rubbing your hands across his chest, shoulders, and waist. It was like you were both doing the last thing you’d do before the world came to an end.
His lips moved feverishly across your own as tilted your head upwards to get a more comfortable position. A warm yet equally rough hand snaked it’s way back onto your neck and gripped your throat with such possession, you felt a tingle reach your lower half.
The intensity of the make out was one that put every other sound to shame as the room was filled with nothing but the small whimpers coming from either of you and the sound of your lips smacking against his. It was like a dream, and Bakugou couldn’t control himself any longer as he groaned into your touch.
It wasn’t until a gasp broke the seductive silence within the room, as well as pushed the two of you apart only to see his girlfriend staring at the two of you with wide eyes and a fizzy drink in both of her hands., that you realized something.
Shit just got really fucking complicated.
—
back to masterlist
I wanna have an angsty kiss moment with bakugou
>:( damnit anyways yeah like, reblog, comment, follow! thanks for reading! don’t forget to send some requests in <3
- heilly
#bakugou#bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x y/n#my hero academia#bnha#bnha x reader#pro hero bakugou#mha bakugou#boku no hero academia#angst#katsuki bakugou#bakugou katsuki#one shot#mha imagines#mha angst#mha fluff#mha x reader#heilly’s writing
926 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Duke - Chapter 10
A.N: OK, let's go Thank you very much to the comments, really, I know it takes time, but I'm glad you're here always waiting for a new chapter for your understanding: everything in *ITALIC* is flashback, it's a chapter basically made up of that, it explains some things
it was the chapter i waited the longest to arrive, i liked it in the end, i hope you did too <3
AO3 | FF.NET | SIYE
It was a cold night, it had rained that afternoon and the sky was cloudy, it looked like it would rain later in the morning, but Arabella was happy about that, as the damp, muggy weather made her sneeze every minute and her asthma was actually getting worse. She should visit a doctor soon.
She continued to walk down the empty street, the hem of her dress was getting more and more muddy, no matter how much she pulled her skirt up a little, every time she stepped into a puddle the mud splashed and it was no use effort in trying to get that dress clean. She should have picked an older one to go out with, since she knew the streets would be dreadful after all that rain, not the brand new one she'd bought after working so hard.
Was it just a piece of sewn fabric, why was it so expensive? There weren't even enough details or buttons to justify it.
But if Isabel was telling the truth, the fabric had come from India, and that in itself had already increased the price twice as much, and Arabella knew that the woman would not lie to her… She hoped at least.
As she walked the streets of Godric's Hollow, she thought about how another lonely night would be, and that maybe tomorrow she would send a letter to her great-aunt asking if she could stay a few days at her farm, just to have the company of other people besides the two her cats; Silk and Melindra.
“Help!” The scream echoed behind her, and Arabella turned, startled, to see if anyone was hurt or what might have triggered that scream. It was a female scream, and it made her think that maybe a woman could be chased by some maniac, and even though she wasn't very strong, two women fought better than just one, so she ran towards the scream, not caring more about the mud splashing on her dress.
Near Ms. Bright’s shop, there was a woman lying down and bleeding, her clothes torn and a baby in her lap. She looked scared, dumped near a ditch that had been made a few days ago to start building a fashion studio around the corner, the scant dress that still covered her was smeared with what looked like blood and mud, and Arabella thought she saw blood running down her legs. Whether it was an injury or something more disturbing, she couldn't tell. The woman held the baby tightly to her chest, wrapped in an old blanket as dirty as she was, and the poor child spared no effort in crying, looking more than scared.
“I'm here, what happened?” Arabella ran to her, helping the poor girl to her seat, noticing that the poor baby was also smeared with blood, but she couldn't tell whose blood it was. ‘Come, come to my house, I can help you-’
"No," she cried, brown eyes startled and wide, as if they'd seen death a few feet away. “Someone is following me, I – I'm going to be killed, I know I will, my husband is after me and – you need to get the boy.” She lifted the baby towards Arabella. 'He's trying to kill us, he thinks the child isn't his, he thinks I cheated on him, and he's coming, I-' The woman stopped, as if she'd heard something, but then thunder made the Earth shudder. ‘Please save the boy, I beg you, he already tried to kill the boy but I was always on time, but now I feel like I won't be able to save him.’
“You must come with me.” Arabella pleaded once more, kneeling in front of the woman, trying to get her to rise. When she reached for her forearm, however, her hand was wet with blood, and the tear in the side of her dress let her see a hideous cut in her ribs, the blood running like water in a waterfall, dripping onto the floor and other parts of her dress.
"I told you," she muttered, sobbing. 'I'm going to die, I'm not going to make it, I can't stand walking any longer, I managed to run away from him but I can't stand it much longer… Take the boy.' The woman lifted the boy again, who now seemed to cry even more, waking a few neighborhood dogs, as the sky glowed brighter, the earth trembling a few seconds later. "Take him away, don't let him die."
'How-how am I going to leave you here, I can't-' Another thunder shook the earth, and this time, the storm began to fall stronger
than the afternoon, the winds suddenly getting strong, which seemed to scare the boy even more.
‘He will get sick! Get him, take care of him!” As if on instinct, Arabella scooped him up in her arms, wrapping him in her scarf so he was a little warmer. Footsteps were heard nearby, and the woman seemed to despair even more. 'Go! Get Harry and go!’
“What's his name?” Arabella yelled over the noise of the rain, trying to understand what she had said.
‘Henry! His name is Henry!’
----------------------
“Poor Duchess,” someone says, but all Arabella can see is the white flag atop the castle, an immense sadness shattering her chest into a million pieces.
"Who could do something that horrible?" Another says, all paying attention to the newspaper that reports how Harry Potter, the Duke's eldest son, was found dead near a creek not far away. Probably killed by Death Eaters.
“They're all nasty human beings!” A man said, looking horrified by the media descriptions, then looking up at the castle again.
It's not that far away, it faces the mountains that end Godric's Hollow, separating them from another village, and it's positioned in a way that's seen from anywhere, no matter where you are, you'll see the castle and the huge towers, next to the flags that stand proudly on the masts. One with the English flag, the other with the Potter family crest. But today, both give way to white flags.
The boy is dead.
Arabella wipes the tears from her eyes and watches little Henry sleep in her arms, oblivious to the commotion.
She sympathizes with the Duchess's pain as she looks at that little baby who nearly died along with her mother - Arabella knew that the woman's body was found lifeless the next morning - and remembers the time she too felt the pain of losing a child, of losing the one she loved most to Death Eaters. She kisses the boy's forehead, the pale scar of lightning makes him unique, and Arabella lets herself cry, thinking of the Duchess herself, and how they took away her right to fondle her own son.
----------------------
Arabella did not remember seeing the Duke in public since the incident two years ago.
He smiles and nods, but she notices - because she's been there once too - that he's sick, that the gold-and-red scarf around his neck seems to have a lot of fabric left over, as well as his pants. She notices the dark circles under his eyes, and the sunken cheeks, but the man still smiles and waves at people.
Henry was on her lap, yesterday he turned two, and Arabella doesn't know very well when he was born, but her neighbor, who is a doctor, said he wasn't much older than four or five months, so she decided that his birthday would be the day before they met, because she thought it was too tragic to celebrate the day she found him in his mother's lap half dead, but she didn't want to stray too far from the date.
The Duke smiles and nods to a little girl on his father's shoulders, he is walking through the village as he usually does, something that brings him closer to the people who live there and keeps him in power. He's a good man, after his father, the best they've ever had for sure.
He stops when he gets close to Arabella, and she smiles because she used to paint the portraits of the royal family until she had a problem with her fist and was forced to quit her profession, but the man never seems to forget the time she drew him on his 17th birthday.
"I'm still waiting for you to draw me and my wife." He says, as he always has since she informed him that she had unfortunately been forced to stop. The man isn't charging her though, he smiles, and watches Henry in her lap, almost sleeping on her shoulder. “It's a beautiful boy.” She thought she saw a shadow in his eyes, but it was so fast she thought it was just her imagination. 'How old is he?'
"Two years," she says, and now she's sure the man looks sick, because for a second he stops and stares at Henry, as if wondering what his two-year-old son would be like. Arabella knows because she used to do this. "My condolences, my Lord."
"It's okay, I’m fine," the
man says, and he winks at Henry, who hides in his mother's neck, before going off to talk to another woman.
----------------------
“Why are we different?” Henry asks, sitting on the table as Arabella tends to his scraped knee. 'We don't have the same eye color, and my hair doesn't match yours.' She knows he doesn't mean to be mean, he's just a curious and very intelligent child, that he's noticed the dissimilarities between them.
She smiles, applying ointment to the wound. ‘Because you are my son at heart, and children at heart are sometimes not like their mothers at heart.’
'What is a child at heart?' He agrees to be picked up by her, and Arabella leads them into their small living room, sitting on the sofa with Henry on her lap, looking at her with big green eyes gleaming with curiosity, black strands falling over his eyelashes. She needs to cut his hair soon.
“It means that you were born from another belly, not mine.” She places a hand over her stomach. “But that's just what separates us, because my love for you surpasses any barrier.” Arabella smiles, kissing his cheek, and Henry seems satisfied with the explanation.
'I love you so much too, this size here!' He opens his arms as much as he can, and the demonstration warms her heart as always, making her smile and hug her son as tightly as she assures him that she loves him even more.
| J. P |
James was concentrating on the duels when Remus arrived. He was marveling at how well Mr. Figg dueled, neither shivering nor losing time when Mr. Rosier hit back one of his spells, and the man didn't even look tired.
He had always found dueling an incredibly boring and dull part of parties when he was younger, accompanied by his father and seeing the men fall in a few minutes, James preferred the parties and the after, when the house was silent and dark and he could go out to meet some woman.
It was at one of these parties that he met Lily, during a nighttime getaway he saw her jumping out the window. First he followed her thinking that she was also going to meet someone, and James being a curious young man that he was, he wondered what kind of man that woman liked to sneak with. Maybe he had a chance. But later, when he saw her come out of the house and run towards the lake nearby, James didn't understand.
She didn't like him following her, of course, it had been a dumb idea and nowadays he was ashamed of his younger self's actions, but that's what got them talking for the first time. She smiled in embarrassment as he praised her ability to climb a vine.
"James!" Remus called after him, cheeks flushed and blue eyes pained toward him. The first thing that came to his mind was that Lily was hurt, and that made him lose all interest in watching the Duel and made him turn to his friend in alarm.
“What happened?” He tried to be as discreet as possible, trying to keep other men from noticing his splurge. Sirius did a good job of distracting two young men.
"Lily needs you…and she asked me to take Mr. Figg too." Remus muttered the last part, making James frown and look at the boy on his left, who had finally won the duel. Rosier looked tired. 'Is it urgent.'
"Is she hurt?" It was a valid concern, James feared his wife would get sicker now that she was surrounded by people, and maybe someone had said something to her and Lily had one of her fits again. ‘And why does she want the boy? Should I tell Arthur?
‘No, don't say anything to anyone, just come… We're in the dungeons.’
----------------------
Henry did not know how to control his magic, and that distressed Arabella.
If he was a Muggle it would be so much easier, she knew that, because when Henry made that poor boy float, and then made a flower vase explode, she knew she would have to explain a lot to him: Why couldn't he go to a proper college and why she didn't do magic like he did.
Arabella no longer felt ashamed of being a Squib, she had accepted the condition and lived normally, or at least as she managed to, avoiding whenever anyone asked about it just to avoid people's prejudice. Some thought she was a
Muggle who had married a wizard, and that's why she knew so much about it. Others thought that she just hadn't had a chance to go to school, and that's why she didn't know how to properly control magic.
"They made fun of me!" Henry said, annoyed, his eyes red from crying. “They said things—horrible things to me!” He sobbed, which made Arabella even sadder and more worried. His green eyes glistened with tears, staring at her for answers. "They told me I-I'll never be good at-at anything." He sobbed louder and louder, the scraped knee now forgotten, as if the internal pain was much bigger.
She was about to cry with him.
“Henry, honey, listen to me.” She took a deep breath, thinking that conversation had come earlier than she'd planned. ‘What they said is a lie. They don't know how to control their magic either, they probably won't for a good few years, and you're already good at a lot of things, of course you are, Henry. You're much better at putting together puzzles, and you're much faster too, I mean, you always win at the races.' Arabella smiled sweetly, smoothing his messy hair, thinking how unfair it was that such a sweet little boy already got to know this side of life.
She wished she could just show the good side of life, and leave the thorns and stones for when he understood things better.
Arabella wondered how her mother managed to do this so masterfully, because right now, she wanted to be able to hex the parents of those boys and force them to teach their children more respect for others. She wished it had been her who had been pushed and thrown out of the game, not her child.
Her heart broke even more, feeling helpless.
‘Don't listen to what they say, ok? You're amazing, a very smart kid, and your future will be bright.” She promised, because it was true. Arabella would do anything for her son.
----------------------
Henry ran as fast as he could, passing through the trees and not even bothering with the branches that scratched his skin, he just needed to get out of there.
He knew he shouldn't have pissed off those boys, but they were scaring another younger boy, and just because they'd now gone to that stupid school of stupid people, they thought they were even better than the rest of the people there.
Henry wished he could go to Hogwarts, but his mother had told him that you needed to receive a letter, and that they were only sent for a few families - maybe if you're lucky you get the letter, she said smiling, even though the smile didn't reach her eyes. Arabella had never said this, but Henry knew he would probably never get the letter; he wasn't rich and he didn't have a father, and for some reason, that seemed to be enough to keep him away from others.
He ran even faster when he heard loud laughter, he wasn't afraid of those kids anymore, Henry had grown up while they were in school, more than they were, but they had one advantage: magic.
Arabella couldn't buy a wand, so he didn't have one, and even if he did, he wouldn't know how to use it.
“You're a wimpy coward if your only way to fight is with magic…don't you know how to punch?” Henry had said to Jilian, the biggest idiot of them all.
Henry wasn't very good at punching, but he was very fast, while when Greg tried to cast a spell on him, he ran off into the forest, barely noticing when his own magic created a dome around him, preventing any spells from hitting him. .
----------------------
“Why are we so different?” Henry asked, taking a seat beside Arabella as she kneaded the bread on the table. She looked at him, noticing that the boy was all sweaty and looking a little smudged with dirt.
“How many times have I told you not to go into the woods?” She returned her gaze to the dough, continuing to knead.
"It's quieter there." He shrugged, pulling his sweaty hair off his forehead, letting his scar show for a few seconds before hiding it again.
“And more dangerous too, and you know it.” Arabella raised her eyebrows, scolding him. She'd heard horrible stories of people meeting a werewolf deep in the woods, and as much as she didn't
know whether or not it was true, she didn't want Henry to take any chances like that. He was only 13 years old, he should have been playing with the other kids on the street and not running into the trees.
"Okay, I won't do it anymore." He sighed, but she knew he would break that promise the next time he had the opportunity. ‘But then? Why aren't we alike?’
"Henry, because you were born from another belly. I already said that" She placed the buns in the oven, washing her hands afterwards and looking up at him with a gentle smile on her face. "I met you when you were very young, you know this story."
"But why can I make things float and you can't?" His green eyes stared at her with an expression much harder and more serious than she was used to, as if he would know if she lied.
‘Because not all of us are born doing magic. Some of us are good at something other than magic… It's something you need to be born knowing how to do, you can't develop it, just improve it.” Arabella swallowed, trying not to show so much the scars that had left on her. People weren't kind when they found out you were a Squib.
He was quiet for a few minutes, looking at his hands as if he wanted to find the right words. The sun streaming through the kitchen windows illuminated his black hair, a few strands reflecting an almost red copper color that Arabella thought was beautiful.
'Can you never do magic?' He looked at her, and all the worry she'd ever felt, scared that maybe Henry would feel sorry for her or ashamed of her, drained and slipped out as his green eyes stared at her, full of affection and sadness. Not the same sadness that always came with grief, but as if he felt bad that he did magic and she didn't, as if he understood now why some people offended her and treated her differently.
"No." She gave a half smile. "But I'm not sad about it anymore, I like who I am." And it was true.
Henry nodded, still being silent for a while, seeming to absorb the information, then he got up from the wooden bench, walking over to her and hugging her. He was no longer her little boy—as much as he always would be her baby—Henry now almost reached her chest, and it wouldn't be long before he was taller than her. She hugged him back, enjoying this show of affection, imagining that a few years from now he wouldn't like hugs so much.
"I love you," he said.
‘I love you very much too. Forever and ever.” Arabella kissed the top of his head, tightening her hold even more, as if she was afraid someone would suddenly take him away from her.
----------------------
It had been a long time since James had been in the dungeons, he didn't like going there, it was cold, wet, lonely, and it made him think too much.
It made him think his son's things were there, in boxes organized as if they were just another mess and not everything he and Lily had ever dreamed of. It made him think of the pain that resided in his chest, the emptiness that nothing in the world had ever been able to fill.
James hated the dungeons.
Lily, unlike him, loved being there, she said it was the best place for her to think, and the calmest of all - 'It's where I feel that no one will look at me with pity, where I can think of my son in peace, you know what I'm talking about," she said when James questioned her about the surroundings. He knew, he understood her, James had changed into Prongs many more times than necessary, he did it every time the pain got too much to take.
He walked down the stairs, trying to ignore the shiver that ran down his spine, couldn't anyone make this place something less scary?
After Remus left, James warned Sirius, who tried to pretend as best he could and further entertain the men who now looked curious to death, while he went to talk to Mr. Figg.
"I need you to accompany me, but I need you to do this cautiously and discreetly," James asked, looking into those green eyes closely, trying to remember where he knew that expression. "I'll go ahead, meet me in five minutes at the entrance to the stone path, do you know where it is?" The man nodded, tucking
his wand into the waistband of his pants and straightening his robes. 'I'll let Arthur know I'll take you, just so he won't be worried, but I think you understand that you shouldn't say anything to anyone, right?'
"Yes, my Lord." The man made a brief, discreet bow, and James grimaced, not understanding why that made him uncomfortable.
Now James heard footsteps behind him as he walked through the dungeon, neither of them saying anything.
Why had Lily asked Mr. Figg to come along? Had she found out something about the boy? Something bad? James glanced quickly over his shoulder, noticing that the man looked warmed too, his hands behind him and his back straight. Has something happened to Miss Weasley? Well, if so, Arthur would be called too, right?
James broke off as soon as he reached the last room, the one he avoided the most, and the only one with lighted candles.
The first thing he saw when he entered were the boxes, stacked against a wall, then he realized there were some of Harry's things on the floor, smeared with dirt and sticks, and James' heart missed a beat when he saw the Snitch Pajamas The gold one he'd bought when he found out Lily was pregnant was now all filthy and torn.
Had they been attacked? Was that why Lily sent for him?
Then he saw Remus, opening Lily's herb cabinet and looking for something inside, he looked worried. In the back, near the only window there, was Peter, all smeared with mud too, sitting on the floor with his hands behind his back, his red cheeks making him look like a child caught doing something wrong, and his rumpled clothes hinting that he had fought someone. Finally, sitting on the bench was Lily.
Her dress was dirty too, but that wasn't what James first noticed, it was her red face, her pink cheeks like when she drank wine, her hands shaking as she poured something into the cauldron, looking more nervous than ever.
"What's going on?" James glanced at the three of them, feeling even more anxious. "Lily, what the fuck is going on?"
"Did you bring Henry?" James frowned at her calling the man by his first name, but nodded anyway, Peter sighed in the corner, looking almost terrified, not making eye contact with James for a moment. ‘Great, send him in.’
----------------------
Henry knew he shouldn't be there, his mother had forbidden him, but he had nowhere else to go.
Jilian had come back from his stupid school and he seemed more than happy to train some spells on Henry, and even though he had honed his punching technique, he couldn't compete with magic. So he ran into the forest.
It was cold there, it had rained last night and the earth had turned to mud, and because of the tall trees the sun's rays didn't penetrate as much, and the whole environment ended up getting wetter than usual. Henry shivered as the wind made him wonder why he hadn't grabbed a jacket.
He was sitting on the usual rock, it was close to the river that separated them from the Muggles, and it gave him a good view across the village. There were houses like the ones on this side, but they always looked a lot less colorful than the ones he was used to, and there weren't as many flowers and trees either, as if the Muggles were willing to clear every bit of land they found, leaving everything gray and monotonous.
Henry had asked his mother if they could go to that side of the village, but Arabella had been stern to say he was forbidden to even think about going to the Muggles. He chuckled softly, thinking that if it hadn't been for the river that separated them, he probably would have managed to at least get there, curious as always.
A noise startled him, making him jump and hide behind the rock, praying it wasn't one of Jilian's friends, as he would be at such a disadvantage. There wasn't much to run now, Henry had almost reached the end of the forest, and unless he took a chance and ran towards the darkest and scariest part, the other option was to jump into the river.
And he wasn't doing any of those things.
But when he didn't hear voices or anything to indicate they were people, he stood up,
watching a deer walking around, distracted by everything, as if nothing else mattered. Henry had never seen one this close, and he was a little fascinated by the animal, he understood why there are two deer on the Potter family crest. It really was a beautiful animal, and if he could choose, he would also want them emblazoned on his chest.
Henry stepped out from behind the rock, careful not to startle the animal, trying to get as close as he could. “Hey,” he called, even though it didn't make much sense. The animal turned, eyes huge now in his direction.
It had been a bad idea, he cursed himself mentally, imagining that that animal was too big and would probably kill him without a second thought… Did deer eat human flesh? Henry didn't know, but they probably hurt anyone who scared them and made them feel in danger.
The animal approached, slowly, and each step made the boy's stomach turn and his heart race. Deer were fast, much faster than Henry was. He was dead.
But when the animal's black eyes got much closer than Henry had ever thought he saw, the animal bowed, as if saying hello to him. Without thinking twice, he did the same, maintaining eye contact with the deer.
Heavens, couldn't he be less weird? Bending over to deer, blowing things up without meaning to...
Henry stood up after a while, being careful to do this as slowly as possible, still afraid the deer would decide to kill him then and there. But the animal seemed to have other plans, because he lay down in front of the boy, as if he were an adorable little dog. Henry sat beside him too, having no choice; he didn't have many friends, and he had nothing else to do, so why not? His ass got a little wet from the dirt, but nothing too uncomfortable.
The deer shifted and brought its head closer to Henry's crossed leg, as if asking for affection, and the boy didn't wait for another move to do so, leaning his back against the stone and reaching out to stroke the slightly coarse fur of the animal
For some strange reason, Henry felt comfortable doing it, as if he had done it before, it was something familiar that burned in his chest. But he didn't think about it much, just fell silent and watched the forest in front of him.
----------------------
"Lily, what's going on?" James asked, feeling uneasy as he watched the tension surround the room, Remus looked nervous and Peter avoided looking up, as if he was suddenly afraid to face one of them. Lily turned to James, her green eyes seemed to glow with hatred, her nostrils swollen, an expression he'd seen a few times over the years, but one that always scared him.
"What... What happened?" Her shaky voice made him look at Remus again, the worry growing by the second. "Oh James." She shook her head, as if suddenly too much pain hit her, and he ran to her protection, opening his arms to hold her and protect her from anything that had happened while he was gone.
"Guys, anyone…?" He glanced at his friends, but again, Peter didn't look at him.
"Tell him, Peter!" Lily yelled, breaking out of James' embrace and turning to the man sitting on the floor, pointing her wand in his direction.
‘Lily, what the hell!?’
"No, James," She held up a hand, silencing him. "Tell Peter, tell him what you did to our son."
His world stopped, his eyes threatening to pop out of their sockets as James stared at his friend, begging for all that was most sacred that he hadn't quite understood. Peter was his brother, his best friend, they met when they went to Hogwarts together, he was there when James needed it most, when they decided to become Animagus… Peter wouldn't do that, he couldn't!
James doubted that one day the pain of losing a child would be replaced by another, that hellish emptiness that tore at him more and more inside, that made him not sleep well on rainy nights, that still made him walk into the boy's immaculate room and sit on the floor wondering what he should have done differently. He would do anything to get his son back, his boy. But the pain that hit him when Peter shook his head and lowered his head, making him
realize his hands were tied behind his body, came very close.
His best friend… betrayed him?
"Peter?" James pleaded, begged, for it to be a lie, for Lily to be mad. It was a lie! It had to be.
"I had to, James... I... he made me."
----------------------
The weather was not so good, Peter realized when he Apparated, the sky was dark and windy like never before. He should have worn another cloak, this one was too thin and made him cold.
And other gloves too, because now these were bloody and torn. Who knew a woman could be so strong?
Peter dragged the woman's passed out body with him, feeling a little sickened by that when he realized her wound was getting worse with each passing minute, he needed to be quick.
Leaving the body where no one could find it, he pulled a strand of her hair into the potion and then took it, the horrible taste of iron made him want to spit it out on the floor, but now there was no turning back, he would have to swallow and continue with the plan.
Lord Voldemort had promised him a great reward in exchange for the boy's life, and for the first time in a long time, Peter felt important and wanted. It wasn't that Black boy who was chosen, or even Snape, no no, he was the one Voldemort thought capable of completing the mission, he thought he was strong enough.
How long has it been since? He only stayed inside the Order because James kept him there, no one really wanted him there, not even Dumbledore, Peter didn't need him to say it to know, it was visible to everyone. For the old man, any other man could do the job better than he… Probably if Lily were there too, she would be chosen before Peter.
Potter this, Black that, Peter was tired.
Why didn't anyone realize he was also strong and smart?
Well, now that was over, Voldemort had seen his potential and chosen him to do this mission, and Peter wasn't going to fail now.
When he was fully transformed into that whore, he apparated into the castle, glad the potion didn't stop him from doing so. Stupid James should have put in better security than a simple spell.
Peter had seen James that afternoon, he said that today was Harry's first night trying to sleep alone and that he and Lily were excited to see how he would react to the change, so the plan would be even easier to execute. As excited as Peter was at the idea of being useful to someone, he knew he couldn't kill James, he had to really want to do it with all his heart.
When he reached the boy's room, Peter looked around, noting the choice of bright, cheerful colors, the many teddy bears scattered around, the photos on the walls and in the frames above the dresser.
Little Harry slept peacefully in his bed, wrapped in the pale blue blanket, looking peaceful, cuddled up with his deer teddy bear. He was a lot like James, Peter thought, watching the boy move his short legs like he was kicking something in the dream.
He hadn't really thought about that part of the plan, he figured he'd have the guts to just take the boy and end his life right there, or in some alley farther along, but when Peter picked him up, being careful not to waking him up, that lavender scent invaded his nostrils and he watched the baby more closely.
The boy looked helpless in his arms, like he wasn't even real, and if he wasn't watching the boy's belly rise and fall, Peter would think he was a doll.
Voldemort would never know if he had killed the boy or not, and pausing to analyze the situation now, Peter also didn't know if he could kill the boy.
He wanted to show that he was strong and useful, but a baby? Harry looked so…small.
When he stirred, startling Peter, and seemed to be looking for something - maybe his mother's scent - he realized it was time to act, there was no turning back, it had to be now.
And when lightning flashed in the sky, he cast a spell to prevent Harry from listening when he broke the glass to fake an escape, Peter waited for thunder to do so and then Apparated out of the castle, knowing that this was the best thing to do.
There were two paths now, and he needed to think quickly
which was better, kill Harry and throw him in some hole, or give the boy to someone else. Of course he would risk this person recognizing the baby, but he would have to bet his luck on finding another baby like this for Lily and James to bury, or maybe even run to the Muggle village and find some woman there. It had to be fast, Harry would wake up any second and Peter didn't have much time after that.
As soon as he spotted a woman a few blocks away and Harry opened his eyes in his arms, Peter acted without thinking, taking the knife from his pants pocket and opening a wound in his ribs, before starting to scream for help.
----------------------
James clapped his hand over his mouth, denying it over and over, not believing what he was hearing. No no no no.
This had to be a lie, this had to be a lie. Peter would never do that, Peter was his brother, he would never… No, this could only be a joke.
He could barely handle the pain right now, thinking he'd rather die than have to deal with it. It hurt so much that James thought he might start bleeding at any moment, his chest lacerated after hearing about it.
He couldn't even feel angry.
His boy, his little boy, whom he'd loved so much ever since Lily told him she was pregnant, that it made him want to scream from the top of the roof in so much joy…
“I could kill you right now,” he said, after what seemed like an eternity, barely able to face the traitor. "But…" James shook his head, closing his eyes to try to make it hurt a little less, his father's voice resonating through his mind; "You must be careful with Peter," he said before he died. "Men like him are easily attracted to the side that shines the most."
James had thought his father was delusional when he said that, thought it was the fever, but no, the bastard really was a weakling and a coward. Letting himself be attracted to those he once hated.
If he really hated it.
"I can't even look at you." James turned to Lily, who looked distraught to death at having to hear that story. He wanted to kill Peter even more for making her suffer like that.
The traitor had been there the next day, helping with the searches, he had hugged Lily when she cried, told her everything would be fine.
"James, give me your hand," asked Lily, her own trembling, reaching out towards him.
'Why?'
"Lils…he could be lying—" She shook her head, telling Remus to shut up.
"Give me your hand James." Now her voice was stronger, more determined, and her green eyes sparkled even more. He did so, letting her grab his palm and run the tip of the knife, causing the blood to drip and smear her workbench and floor, before finally dripping into the cauldron.
“Lily, what are you doing?” But she didn't answer him, cutting her own palm and spilling her blood along with his, then looking over her husband's shoulder. She looked more nervous than ever, and her severed hand shook even more as she held it out to the man behind James.
"Give me your hand, Henry." Her green eyes sparkled with tears, and James didn't know if the man did as she asked just because she was a Duchess, or because she was crying.
"Yes, ma'am." He walked over and let her do the same thing with his palm, passing the tip of the knife and then letting the blood spill into the cauldron.
The potion began to bubble fiercely, as did James' chest when he realized what Lily was up to. He had seen her make this potion a few times, and if his thinking was correct, then maybe he could vomit right there, his stomach churning and making him feel weak.
James didn't want to get his hopes up, it only served to hurt when unrequited, but he was unable to hold back the urge and looked at the man behind him, and then at Peter, who now looked even more guilty, if that was possible.
If this was another one of his jobs with Voldemort, James knew he would kill him right there, with his bare hands. Forget magic and wands, he would tear that mouse apart like a hungry lion.
James turned to the cauldron again when Lily sobbed and he smelled the lavender scent all over the room, and the once gray
potion was now a pinkish hue, the three drops of blood seemed to dance in the middle of the liquid, before of finally meeting at the end, getting connected.
"Harry." Lily turned to the man, but James remained frozen, watching the cauldron in front of him. They had never reached this result, usually the potion would explode or nothing happened, and the smell was never that sweet aroma that seemed to fill all the hollows in his chest, as if he suddenly felt no more pain.
As he turned back, as Lily advanced towards the boy, James thought that maybe nothing would ever compare to this.
"Harry," Lily repeated, but this time she touched him, and as if the boy felt it too, he lowered his green eyes to her.
James remembered then where he knew that look… It was Lily's eyes.
Her trembling hand went to his forehead, lifting the hair lying there, just to let them see the lightning scar marked into his skin. It was too much to handle, James didn't know how he was still standing, but suddenly he started to feel tears rolling down his cheeks and as if this was the last drop of water to overflow the bucket, he sobbed.
He inched closer to Lily, wanting to take a closer look at his son, as if he was afraid this was a dream and soon he would no longer have the chance to memorize every detail of it. His boy…
"You-" Harry trailed off, as if he was feeling like James and Lily, his chest filling up and all that emptiness seeming to finally heal. "My parents?" He looked at James, and it was as if time had never passed.
He still had the same expression as that little baby James used to cuddle up to sleep on.
"I knew I knew you from somewhere," James managed to say, his throat seeming to scratch with the effort it took. "I would never be able to forget…" He didn't mind the tears rolling down his face, but he tried to wipe the ones down Harry's face. "I would never be able to forget my son."
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sirius Black Must Die: Chapter Two
Sirius Black X Ravenclaw Fem Reader
Disclaimer: Since it’s an AU in the present day without Voldemort, the muggle-borns and half-bloods can use present day technology. I like to think the pure bloods have their version of muggle technology, wiz-tech if you will
MASTERLIST
Before heading to detention, Alessia talked to Sirius in the Gryffindor common room, Ximena talked to Sirius in the Great Hall, and Catalina talked to Sirius in their transfiguration class. Sirius said the same thing to the three of them.
“You know, I don’t know why girls say stuff like that. I mean, I think they’re just jealous of what we have. Because we share something special. Something we don’t have to label. You know it’s an unspoken bond and I love how secure you are.” Sirius said to them and they end up making out.
The three girls went to McGonagall’s office to receive their punishment and they saw that YN was already there.
“Because you four fought each other during Defense Against the Darks Arts, the four of you will have to polish the silver in the trophy room without magic. 5 points removed from each of your houses, now get to work.” McGonagall said. The four girls made their way to the trophy room and Alessia spoke up.
“So I talked to Sirius, it was sweet. He said he felt bad for you and that you were jealous because we share something special. Something that we didn’t have to label because...” Alessia was interrupted.
“Because it’s our unspoken bond and I just love how secure you are?” Catalina filled in the blank. YN was just watching this whole thing unravel
“And it hurts me to hear you question it? Because you’re the..” Ximena started
“Only girl for me?!?” The three girls completed in anger.
“I can’t believe that total arse said the same thing to all of us.” Catalina said as she stopped on the middle of the corridor.
“Figures. First he makes up with us, then he shags us..” Alessia started but was interrupted by Ximena.
“Wait, The two of you shagged?” Ximena asked curiously.
“Sirius and I share something special.” Alessia said as she begins to walk down the corridor and they finally make it to the trophy room. YN was the only one that started polishing the silver because apparently the girls haven’t finished her Sirius Discussion.
“Like what? Like how you both have been in your pants?” Ximena accused. YN winced, Ximena seemed so sweet, never saw this side of her.
“No, of course not. We both like quidditch, have similar music taste, and have excellent stamina.” Alessia said, YN gagged as she was polishing.
“Gryffin-whore” Catalina said in between coughs.
“Oh right, like you haven’t been slithering in his bed like the snake you are?” Alessia replied. “Besides, I don’t know about you two, but Sirius and I belong together. We’re co-captains of the quidditch team, we’re both Gryffindors, and we’re both incredibly hot.”
“Oh, like he’d take either of you two seriously” Ximena said, tired of Alessia and Catalina fighting.
“Don’t lump me with her!” Catalina said pointing at Alessia.
“So what, now you think you’re better than me?” Alessia questioned angrily and offended.
“Just shut up.” YN said quietly but it seems like they heard her.
“Excuse me?” Ximena questioned offended.
“What?” Catalina and Alessia questioned annoyed.
“Sorry, forget I said anything.” YN said and went back to polishing.
“If you have something to say, say it, we won’t get mad. At least I won’t, don’t know about the other two.” Ximena said sweetly and gave YN a shy smile. YN smiled back.
“I’ll say what’s on my mind when the three of you start helping me, we will get this done a lot quicker.” YN said and the three girls started polishing the silver after they picked up the rags that was left for them. “Okay so about this Sirius Black guy. Did he call you guys “love”, “darling”, or “sweetheart” when you went on your so-called dates? Yeah, he doesn’t do it out of affection, it’s so he doesn’t mix up your names. He’s all about an unspoken bond or something special but never about a real relationship? Like he never asked you guys to be his official girlfriend. This whole arrangement was your idea so you feel guilty he cheated. Tell me if I’m warm.” YN said.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were the fourth girl Sirius was hooking up with.” Alessia commented, laughing a little as she was polishing.
“Um no, but I knew a guy like him back home.” YN said.
“You’re right, he’s always making me feel guilty.” Ximena said as she turned to YN.
“It seems to me that if a guy treats you like that..” YN started but was interrupted by Alessia.
“That you’d break up with him, blah blah blah blah.” Alessia said as she put down the final piece of silver.
“Sirius would have another girlfriend in a second.” Catalina said,
“I didn’t say I’d break up with him, I would get even.” YN said,
“Who are you?” Alessia asked,
“She’s YN, she’s in our DADA class, a ravenclaw, and a year below us.” Ximena explained to Catalina and Alessia. “I’m a Hufflepuff, I know everyone.”
“I’m glad to see that we’re in first name basis.” YN commented.
“I mean if we’re gonna take Sirius down, we kinda have to be.” Alessia said and that’s when YN had a small stroke.
“I’m sorry what?” YN asked confused.
“Your plan to get even with Sirius? Like if we want this to hit hard, we need to start planning ASAP.” Catalina said.
“Ooh yes, we can meet in the kitchens, just tickle the pear in the portrait and it will open. This way we can plan this in secret and have snacks.” Ximena suggested. “Do we go after detention or wait a little while so no one gets suspicious?”
“Maybe wait a little while. And if all else fails, you can come to the Ravenclaw common room, just Google the riddle on your phone if you guys get stuck.” YN said. A few minutes later, they were finished polishing the silver and YN went to the Ravenclaw common room after answering the riddle correctly. She saw Charlie studying.
“Hey, Squirt, how was detention?” Charlie asked.
“I guess it was fine. Still hate the fact that I got detention for ‘vulgar language’ like what the fuck.” YN said and Charlie laughed.
“Can believe that. You swear like a sailor.” Charlie said.
“Yeah whatever, I’ll be in my room listening to music if you need me, dear Charlie.” YN said as she went to her dorm room and put on her headphones to listen to music until she dozed off.
When she woke up from her nap, she saw Alessia, Catalina, and Ximena by her bed.
“For fucks sake, what are you guys doing in my room?” YN asked.
“Your friend Charlie let us in. He’s really cute, sadly he’s younger than me.” Alessia said.
“He was held back, you can go for it. You’re here for the plan?” YN asked as she sat up on her bed.
“Yes actually. How do we go about killing Sirius Black?” Catalina asked.
“I mean there’s always the killing curse...” YN muttered.
“Not literally, my dear Ravenclaw, I meant like killing his reputation and everything he stands for, you know? Like he’s the face of the Marauders, he’s basically worshipped by every guy at Hogwarts minus the Slytherins obviously. And literally every girl drools for him.” Catalina said as she started to fidget with a stuffed bear on top of your trunk.
“I guess that depends. I mean what made you attracted to Sirius?” YN said.
“Well because of quidditch, his body is toned. His long fluffy hair that frames his face perfectly, his perfectly plump lips that are so soft against yours, how he knows how to kiss every spot just right..” Alessia said as she started to close her eyes, imagining everything,
“Hey, Gryffin-whore, please pay attention.” Catalina said and Alessia looked at her with squinting eyes “Sorry, Alessia, stop day dreaming about fucking Sirius.”
“I guess it’s just everything. Like he’s cocky but not so cocky that he’s unbearable. He has this sort of arrogance and confidence to him. Like he knows he’s hot and he owns that shit when he’s walking down the corridor. He’s incredibly charming, knows the right things to say, and like Alessia said, he knows how to kiss.” Ximena said, the two girls agreed. YN was writing all of this down on her laptop that her father gave her.
“What are you doing?” Alessia asked,
“Documenting our plan to destroy Sirius, we can’t just wing it, it has to be well thought out.” YN said. “Know, how do we destroy a man like Sirius Black?”
“I mean, he’s literally ALWAYS with someone, you know? Like he always has a girl with him or around him or literally all over him.” Ximena said.
“Yeah, I know, I saw him and Cat making out at the Three Broomsticks.” YN commented. “Wait, Can I call you Cat?”
“Yeah, it’s fine. And I can’t believe you saw that. Wait, that’s how you found out!” Catalina exclaimed.
“Yeah actually, I should have said something earlier.” YN said.
“Nah, we probably wouldn’t have believed you anyway.” Cat shrugged it off.
“I got it? To destroy Sirius Black we have to make him undatable! But it can’t be superficial, it has to be like his manliness, his ego, we need to destroy his confidence so that way he thinks twice about cheating.” Ximena said.
“Ooh, I like it, Hufflepuff. Didn’t know you had a dark side, Sunshine.” Alessia commented making Ximena smile shyly, she’s adorable. “But how do we do that?”
“We could always brew a Bulgeye potion to make his eyes swell.” Catalina said.
“But that’s a superficial thing.” Ximena said.
“Not if it happens when he’s on a date. I can slip the potion into his drink and when he’s on a date, his eyes bug out like crazy.” Cat said,
“Ooh that’s good, I like your thinking, but how about we go a little stronger, maybe a fungiface potion, make his face break out in fungi.” YN suggested.
“Evil, I like it, how long does it take to make?” Alessia asked.
“I’m not sure, probably 5 days.” YN said.
“Great, we can start tomorrow, I can ask professor Slughorn if he can let us use the potions lab for some extra practice, he will just eat that up.” Cat said.
“That’s good, that’s good. Give me your numbers so we can have a group chat.” YN suggested.
“Perfect, that way we can talk and no one will be suspicious about the four of us hanging out and being friends all of a sudden.” Ximena said. The girls exchanged their phone numbers and it was all good.
“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how come none of you noticed or why did you guys stay with him if he made you feel guilty?” YN asked.
“The three of us never got along. I think it was because of the train ride going to Hogwarts first year.” Alessia said.
“I remember that we were talking about which house we wanted to get into and we started bad mouthing each other’s houses. I guess we just never got over that, until now I mean.” Cat said.
“Well I’m glad you’re over it, and now go to your dorm before my roommates come in.” YN said, they all said goodbye and left, that was when Amara came in the room.
“What are you doing with them? They literally couldn’t stand each other yesterday.” Amara said.
“It’s nothing, Amara, we were just hanging out. You know, being in detention together actually helps you make friends.” YN said.
“Are you referencing The Breakfast Club, Lemonade Mouth, School Gyrls, or that one scene in the Power Rangers movie?” Amara asked.
“Breakfast Club, but I’m glad you understand Muggle pop culture.” YN said.
“Yeah okay, I hope you know what you’re doing, YN. Wouldn’t want to you to forget who your real friends are.” Amara said,
“I could never, you’re like my big sister. You up to watch a movie?” YN asked,
“Sure, I pick the movie though” Amara said as she sat next to YN to pick a movie from her laptop. YN was thinking about what Amara said and the plan for Sirius Black. What they were doing wasn’t bad, it was more like prancing him. He pranks the younger students all the time. It was perfectly harmless.
Taglist:
@blackpinkdolan
Hope you enjoyed this chapter 😊
#sirius x ravenclaw#sirius x y/n#sirius x you#sirius x reader#marauders#marauders x reader#my ocs#original character#romance
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hiya. So this is part 3. Your illicit relationship with Poe continues despite the fact that both of you are starting to feel that it's wrong.
Someone is going to get hurt, and you have a terrible feeling that it will be you.
Warnings, angst! You are cheating on your significant other! (Please don't do that!) Hints of smut, age difference (nothing illegal you are in your mid 20's) Not for anyone under 18.
In a perfect galaxy this would all work out and everyone would be happy. What exactly is "perfect?" You think bitterly to yourself.
Sadly real life isn't perfect, far from it. Your relationship with Poe would have been great if you weren't both set in your ways.
Despite his youthful, virile visage Poe Dameron feels like he's getting old.
He wants to marry his soul mate, settle down and have a family very soon.
Before I'm either too old to play with them or too dead, Poe used to joke with a rakish grin on his face.
The life of an X wing pilot, especially that of the leader of the black squadron, is dangerous, and that's putting it mildly.
Despite the fact that he was kidding you could hear the seriousness in his voice and see it in his eyes.
You, on the other hand, are young (12 years younger than him to be exact) and your gut is telling you that marrying young and having kids would be a mistake.
But at the same time you understand his struggle and where he's coming from. Even though you don't share his sentiment you realize that being a husband and father is Poe's dream, and it's selfish and cruel to be with someone to crush their dreams.
You loved him so much that you let him go. But now you regret that decision but at the same time you don't want to compromise your beliefs and what you want.
And then there's your girlfriend, beautiful, whip smart Anakari. The woman that could put an X wing back together blindfolded. She's three years your junior and a master mechanic, she's even worked on the black leader's beloved craft from time to time.
The woman adores you. Her smile and kisses could make your terrible day wonderful again.
Anyone would be lucky to have someone like her in their life.
And you're doing this to her, you think bitterly.
"Babe, what's wrong? You look upset".
It's a late Friday night and you once again find yourself in Poe's bed. Instead of basking in the afterglow of the moment you are having trouble relaxing.
You've been intimate with him again, twice already and the night is still somewhat young. He isn't done with you, in fact he's just warming up.
Your body is in a state of deep relaxation from the pleasurable sensations that you've experienced. Your mind, though, is wandering.
Poe can see this, and it's upsetting to him.
With a deep sigh you roll over on your side, facing away from him. He wraps his strong arms around you and holds you tight.
"I love you, y/n". Poe confesses, kissing you softly. "I don't think you understand that at times, it broke my heart when you said no when I proposed".
His candid words sent a knife right through your heart.
He still loved you, the words came right out of his mouth.
Poe wanted to marry you, wanted you to be the mother of his children, but you weren't ready for that.
The way he looked at you and the way he touched you told you that, there was noone else in the galaxy that he wanted to be with.
But in order for things to work someone would have to make a sacrifice.
"Poe, I'm not ready to be a wife and a mother, I've said this all before". You explain with a deep sigh. "I love you too, but I'm just not ready".
"I'm willing to compromise". Poe explains with a weak smile. "But what about your girlfriend?"
"I can't let you do that". You reply quickly, sitting up quickly. "It's your dream to be a father, to be honest I'm not sure if I ever want to have children".
"I don't know how I could live my life without you being a major part of it". He confesses, sitting up, his eyes red from tears. "You have my whole heart, I've never loved anyone before like this".
The two of you share another one of those passionate kisses that feel forbidden. You look deeply into his gorgeous eyes and you are lost, you've never been near someone as beautiful, inside and out, as him.
Everything about him is attractive, down to his hands and feet. Poe was like a living, breathing sculpture, just pure perfection.
But he was also a human being with complex emotions. At times you felt like you were leading him along, keeping him from fully realizing his dreams because you wanted to keep using his body for your own pleasure.
"Poe, we can't continue doing this". You confess, holding your head in your hands as you start to cry. "I'm holding you back from what you really want in life and we both know this".
"Please, I can compromise". Poe begged as he leaned over and kissed you again. "Don't do this, I love you and will always love you".
You get out of bed and start to get dressed. Before you leave you take one last look at him and say,
"I love you too, that's why I'm doing this".
Five years later
You hadn't talked to him since that fateful day but you heard that eventually Poe had reconnected with his first love, Zorii Bliss, had a whirlwind romance, got married and had two kids close together with a third on the way.
He was now in his early 40's. His beautiful hair was a salt and pepper gray. Poe looked relaxed, happy and fulfilled in life and deeply in love with Zorii.
Zorii was a passionate and tough woman. In your opinion Poe needed someone like that in his life.
His two beautiful little boys were his world. He looked softer, happier and much more relaxed because of them.
They were adorable with curly reddish brown hair, their father's dark eyes and tan skin.
Your girlfriend is now your wife. You confessed everything to her and she forgave you. The two of you are not only spouses but best friends. You are enjoying your blissful, child free life.
You are happy, extremely happy, but you can't help but wonder if Poe still thinks of you and those lust filled days and nights that you spent together.
The four of you agree to go out on a double date together. Poe wants you to meet his wife.
Zorii is about 7 months along with a little girl. It was going to be their last child. His family was complete and he was happy, so happy, you could see it in his eyes and smile.
You couldn't help but feel slight pangs of jealousy when you see Poe kiss his wife and remember that was once you.
The feelings soon fade when you see how good she is to him, and how happy they genuinely are.
Zorii and Anakari go off by themselves to chat, leaving just you and Poe together alone.
At first the silence is awkward, almost painful. You can't even look at him at first.
"You were right, y/n, I'm happy". Poe confesses, a strained smile appearing on his face. "My boys are my world, and we're finally having a little girl".
"Congratulations". You tell him, smiling weakly and leaning over to gently touch his hand. "Zorii is a wonderful woman, I'm happy for you, seriously".
"Zorii keeps me in line, and I think I need that". Poe tells you, laughing a little. "Ana is a special woman too, brilliant and beautiful, you're so lucky".
"I still love you, and I will always love you until the end of time". Poe continues, looking down a little. "But we had different goals in life, my kids are my world and I can't imagine them not being here".
"I still love you too". You confess, the tears streaming down your face. "But we weren't meant to be, at least not in this lifetime".
The end
#poe dameron#poe dameron x reader#poe dameron smut#star wars#star wars smut#poe dameron x you#poe dameron imagine
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
“i need a place to stay”
Warnings: mentions of cheating.
Summary: Chris has always been your best friend, your shoulder to cry on, could he be something more when you finally find out that your boyfriend has been cheating on you with one of his work colleagues? Chris is your first point of call when your world implodes and you need somewhere to stay.
Word Count: 2k
Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader\
⭐︎ ashleigh’s masterlist ⭐︎ | ☾ ashleigh’s taglist ☽
*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧
Your day had been going great. You had a very productive day at work, you met with the girls and had a lovely dinner and was currently on the way back to yours and your boyfriend’s shared apartment to spend the rest of the evening together curled up on the couch watching a film. You hummed along to the radio as you drove, smiling to yourself as the song reminded you of your best friend, Chris. You had been friends ever since you were both young, since you were in his brother’s class and he was part of the package deal when it came to befriending Scott, but eventually it was you and Chris that became closer.
Even when Chris became Captain America, everyone’s favourite superhero, he stayed loyal to you and was still just Chris to you. You knew him better than anyone else in the world. You had known him before his life became so crazy and you knew that he was grateful that he had that relationship with you still. Whenever he was anxious about anything, you were still the one he would text or call, because no matter what, you both knew that you would alway answer him in his time of need. That’s what friends were for.
You smiled to yourself when you see your boyfriend’s car parked in his parking spot outside your apartment building, parking your car next to his gently. He was home and hopefully he had picked a film for you both to watch.
You both had been a little distant with each other recently, he had been busy at work, as had you and Chris was back in town so you had been spending a fair bit of time with him since you hadn’t seen him in so long. It was like you were reuniting with family you hadn’t seen in years. It had only been 6 months or so, since Chris had been filming Infinity War and Endgame back to back so he had been in Atlanta and had obviously taken Dodger with him.
You make your way up to your apartment slowly, humming the rest of the song from the radio to yourself as you take the steps as quickly as you can before unlocking your front door.
You frown when you don’t see your boyfriend in the front room or attached kitchen, setting your work bag on the couch slowly, looking round the room a little confused before walking to your shared bedroom to see if he was in there.
What happened next was a blur, seeing him on top of someone from his workplace, both naked. In your bed. A screaming match took place with you throwing essentials into a small suitcase and bag so you can get out of there quickly, you could come back for everything else when he is at work and you had calmed down. You storming out as quickly as you could, your now ex-boyfriend trying to follow you quickly as he pulled some clothes back on as he tried to explain what was happening. You cried as you drove away, only one place in mind that you know you could stay, even though you were scared to tell them what has happened.
*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧
After driving round town for a few hours, trying to gain sense of what had happened back at your apartment. Trying to get the image out of your head as you drive to Chris’ house, you needed face him sooner or later, especially since you hadn’t replied to his texts since you left work, which would make him worry. You always replied to him within 20 minutes of him texting you. It has been over 3 hours since you last texted him.
As you arrive at Chris’ and look up at his house, you bite your lip nervous, tears welling up in your eyes again as you begin to regret your decision to come here instead of driving straight to your parent’s house. That was over a 45 minute drive away now and it was getting late, you didn’t have the energy to make that drive, not tonight, you might make that drive tomorrow if you couldn’t face Chris in the morning. You begin to imagine the look that Chris’ face will hold when he answers the door to you at almost 10pm, worry and confusion will be the top two emotions for sure.
You only knock twice before Chris is nearly pulling the door off its hinges to see if it is you. He sighs a little in relief seeing that it is you and that you are at least safe, but then he frowns when he sees the tears in your eyes and the tear stains that are on your cheeks.
“I-I need a place to stay…” You say nervously, before Chris could even ask if you were okay, or what was going on. Dodger was whining a little at Chris’ feet, trying to get passed him to see you, greet you happily as he always did as he loved you almost as much as he loved Chris and his stuffed lion. Chris doesn’t hesitate to nod quickly, opening the door wider for you to step inside. He takes your suitcase and handbag from you gently, biting his lip and taking them up to the guest room with no questions, catching on that you probably need a few moments alone to greet Dodger before you have him asking what happened and why you need a place to stay.
You slowly remove your coat and shoes before following Dodger through to the couch, biting your lip as you make yourself comfortable. Chris had always said that you were welcome here whenever you needed a friend and to never feel uncomfortable when you were here, at his house. Dodger curls up with you gently on the couch as you tuck your legs underneath you, finally wiping the tear stains off of your cheeks. As you do this, you glance round the room, the TV was on with a basketball game playing, and Chris had a bottle of beer open on the coffee table. His phone was next to the bottle of beer, unlocked with your contact open, like he was going to try and reach you again before you knocked on his door.
“Hey…” Chris says softly as he walks in, sitting down next to you slowly, not wanting to startle you in anyway as he could tell you were lost in your thoughts. “What’s happened?” He asks softly.
“He has been cheating on me…” You say and look up at Chris, just by admitting that your ex-boyfriend is a scumbag brought tears to your eyes. Four years down the drain because he couldn’t stay loyal and keep it in his pants.
“What…” Chris says in shock, before he could register that he should feel angry for you, but you needed him to be calm now, you needed your friend. He couldn’t believe it, you and your boyfriend seemed happy, that you were solid and he thought that soon enough you would have an engagement ring on your left hand soon enough. Not that he wasn’t sad about that, he was more relieved as even though you were happy, Chris was not. He was completely in love with you, he had wanted to tell you before he started filming for The Winter Soldier, at his birthday party, but you had brought your boyfriend as a date. This had shocked Chris as you never mentioned to him that you were dating someone, now four years later you were finally done with the scumbag.
“I don’t know how long for, but I walked in on him and her, in my own bed…” You explain, tearing up gently, looking at your hands gently.
Chris frowns and wraps his arms round you tightly, kissing your head to calm you down slowly. “It’s going to be okay…you can stay here for as long as you need too…” He whispers into your hair, letting you cry against his chest. He rubbed your back comfortingly, knowing that you just needed to be held right now. Dodger came and sat in front of you both, waiting patiently while his tail wagged behind him a little, head tilted to the side before he eventually went and laid in is bed with his stuffed lion.
“Are you sure?” You ask and looks up at Chris gently. He responds with a soft smile and a nod, you don’t push any further because he was the one you knew you could always count on.
*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧
You slowly walk back down the stairs to the couch after Chris had told you to have a relaxing shower and get into comfortable clothes, not caring how late it was or if you both stayed up all night. You needed him so he would be there. He was in the kitchen, making you both a hot chocolate, his beer thrown away from the spot it was sitting when you first arrived at his house.
You sit back down on the couch and Dodger joins you this time, his head resting on your lap in a comforting way, you smile a little before scratching behind his ears, just the way he likes it.
“Now I could get used to this view…” Chris says as he walks through with two large mugs of hot chocolate, setting them on the coffee table as you feel your cheeks blush lightly. Chris was such a sweet guy and before you had gotten together with your boyfriend you always had a crush on him. You never acted on it though, you didn’t think he would have wanted to have you in the spotlight, you were his little secret that he was able to keep from the press and his fans. You were like a comfort blanket for him when he needed you.
“Are you sure you don’t mind me staying with you?” You ask and looks up from Dodger to Chris gently, a small smile on your face as you do.
“Dodge and I will not mind one bit…plus I kinda uh…” He starts to say as he sits down before shaking his head gently. “Never mind, now isn’t the best time to tell you this, don’t worry…” He says before sitting back against the cushions, sighing before rubbing his face lightly.
“Tell me what?” You ask, fully turning yourself to look at the man child you knew so well, but right now he looked scared, fragile.
“That, I am happy you left him, because you can now be with me…” He says in an outburst before looking down at the floor, sighing to himself and rubbing his face gently. “I have been in love with you before I became Captain America, before filming for Winter Soldier started but I didn’t get my chance because you had fallen for someone else and you were happy…” Chris says, his voice soft and gentle before he looks at you nervously, he had just poured out his heart to you on the same day you had broken up with your boyfriend of 4 years.
“Y-you’re in love with me?” You ask a little shocked before taking a deep breath, a wide smile coming onto your face before you blush and look down. “It’s a good thing that I have been feeling the same way recently then, isn’t it?” You say before reaching over and stroking his cheek. You are pulled into his lap as he gives you a bone crushing hug, your lips eventually finding each others happily. You finally felt loved again, as you hadn’t felt this love and warmth from your ex-boyfriend for a few months, which could possibly be because he was giving all his love to the girl he was cheating on you with. Now though, you are living every one of Chris’ female fan’s dreams by kissing him and being the one he has fallen in love with.
“Its a good thing that I came here first for a place to stay then…” You whisper when you pull away from the kiss slowly, a cheeky smile playing at your lips. Your comment makes Chris laugh as he cuddles you closer, pressing a kiss to your head before you both settle down to watch a film together before heading up to bed.
*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧
Send in requests to my ask box!
#chris evans#chris evans imagine#chris evans one shot#cevans#cevans imagine#cevans one shot#chris evans x reader#chris evans x you#cevans x you#cevans x reader#marvel imagine
178 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ranked: Hannah Montana — Jake Ryan Episodes
Here we are at last: Jake Ryan. I think you all probably could’ve seen this coming, but I had to keep you waiting (and gather my thoughts a bit). Of Miley’s canon love interests, Jake (Leslie) Ryan is the one that gets the most screentime overall, and happens to be my personal favorite match for her, so it only makes sense to dedicate a Ranked post to him. As per usual, I’ll be revealing these rankings from Worst->Best, in reverse-order of how much I liked them.
Which brings us to probably the most unambiguous “Worst” ever:
“The End of the Jake As We Know It” (Season Four)
Yeah. Of all the episodes on this list, this is the only one I actively dislike. I don’t think this one was too much of a shock to anyone, but let me talk about why anyway:
This is the first and only time Jake shows up in Season 4. He’s barely shown in Season 3, which we’ll talk about a little more further down, but he really just seems to appear solely to be dragged through the mud, and then unceremoniously shooed out so Miley can ride off into the sunset with Jesse. I don’t even necessarily have a problem with them breaking up. I wouldn’t be happy about it, but you could at least give a better reason— you’ve done it before! Twice! And there’s a perfectly good reason right there in front of them: they’ve been apart for a while, they liked each other as kids, but now that they’re getting older and growing into separate lives, they’re growing apart. But no, let’s just have him randomly cheat on her, because that’s totally a satisfying conclusion to a multi-season arc. Calling one of your most beloved recurring characters a dick for 30 minutes is peak comedy, amirite?
This is also the only time in Season 4 that Oliver is actually an important part of an episode? He shows up for like 5 minutes in the Finale, but really, the Season 4 episode where he has the most screentime is this one. And while there’s nothing wrong with how Oliver is written here, it just makes a little extra mad, because most of his screentime is focused on this dumbass plot development. I can’t help but think, They brought back my man for this?! on both counts.
But let’s move on to less loathsome episodes, shall we?
“He Could Be The One” (Season Three)
Okay, I might catch some shit for this. I know. This episode’s very popular. I am aware of that. And I don’t actually hate this episode, like with the other one. I like the song, I like Miley asserting herself to her dad when it comes to her dating life, Lilly and Oliver are on-point (although that does kind of apply to the last episode too), and I even liked most of the interactions between Miley and Jake. That said, here’s why I’m ranking it so low:
THE ONLY REASON IT EXISTS IS TO SET MILEY UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
Everything from the start of the episode to the weird reframing of Miley and Jake’s complicated past to the focus on Miley bonding with someone else, thinking about that someone else when she’s singing to Jake, talking about how she wants to kiss that someone else so badly except for the inconvenient fact that she’s with Jake, to the episode treating them like equivalent options that are just so hard to decide between despite she and Jesse barely knowing each other and having no history outside this episode… every bit of it is designed to make you like the other guy better and root for the other guy.
And I guess if you haven’t watched the other episodes, or you have but it’s been awhile and you don’t remember them super-well, it’s easier to root for Jesse (ignoring all the problems that he himself has as a character, in this episode, even, but let’s not focus on that right now). But this show can’t trick me that easily, sorry not sorry.
I “should” like this episode more, given that this is when they get back together, but they could’ve gotten them together differently. Instead, we have Lilly berating Miley for going back to her ex after she rejects Jesse, we have Miley… tackling Jake? Did anyone else find that odd? Funny, yes, but weird as hell, and not really indicative of their dynamic. And worst of all, we have them completely rewriting history and hoping we don’t notice. It’s not respectful to list “we have so much history” as a reason to stay with Jake if you can’t be bothered to portray that history accurately. So before we delve into that history a bit, let me make one thing abundantly clear:
Jake did not break Miley’s heart. He’s also not the only one who’s ever fucked up or acted immaturely in their relationship. You wouldn’t know it from watching this, but she’s the one who broke up with him the only time they actually did date. Yeah, it was kind of crappy of him to make her think he was marrying her friend so he could “Gotcha!” her on TV, and it wasn’t great of him to kiss her and then leave in Season 1, but that’s a far cry away from “breaking her heart.” He literally never did. The fact that they framed it that way is not only frustrating, but also some gross foreshadowing for what they ultimately did to his character later on.
That said, the way Jake actually is when he’s onscreen (i.e. when you look at how he actually acts and not just how other people are talking about him) is pretty in-character, funny even. Miley and Jake still have their chemistry and their interactions are amazing apart from that weird tackling thing, and Jake reacting to the cat sweater was something I didn’t know I needed. So objections aside, I do like this episode. Just not as much as what’s to come.
“Jake… Another Little Piece of My Heart” (Season Three)
So while my previous entry was largely dedicated to explaining why it was ranked lower, this entry is going to be a defense of sorts, explaining why this episode, yeah might not be the best, but is a lot better than people remember, or at least is one I’m still very fond of.
In Jake’s last appearance before this, Miley agreed to be “just friends” with him. Here, we see them following up on that. She calls him “one of [her] best friends,” and not only that, she shows that she knows him well enough to know why he, of all people, should not be getting married young. “You change your phone plans every 6 weeks.” How does she know this? Because they kept in contact with each other. They contact each other frequently enough for her to know that he changes his phone plan all the time. They kept their promise! They’re exes, yes, and there’s still tension there as we see in the end, but they genuinely do feel like friends, and not just like they’re awkwardly forcing it.
Miley is understandably pissed when he pranks her, but that’s only because she cares so much, and I do think there’s genuine concern there as a friend, even if she very likely was also jealous. They’re comfortable around each other, they’ve gotten to know each other a lot better, and the hint that there’s still more lingering between them at the end is both promising and open-ended. They don’t get back together right then… but they show that they could, because those feelings are still there, despite everything.
I wonder, though, if this episode would’ve worked better had it aired earlier. We get indications that it was filmed earlier than some of the others, namely that scenes from it show up in the Opening Credits for that season, but for whatever reason, it didn’t air until much later. I’m not sure why, but I do think things could’ve been better had they reintroduced her relationship with Jake (friendship with some lingering feelings) earlier on, had a few more “regular” episodes without him, and then given the two a proper arc later in the season rather than just one episode where they’re like, “We’re back together now! But I also kind of like this other guy! Oh no!” and then he’s not there the rest of the season. But c’est la vie.
Now onto the good stuff:
“Good Golly, Miss Dolly” (Season One)
Honestly, the way the entire Season 1 arc unfolds with them is so natural and beautifully done, I almost don’t feel like it’s fair to dissect them individually and split them up based on personal favorites, because they work best in order and as a unit. But I still have my opinions.
I’ve expressed previously why I love Dolly Parton’s appearance here and why she kills it, but in terms of Miley’s development with Jake, this one remains the most stagnant and frustrating. Painfully realistic, of course, and very in-character for everyone, but of all the Season 1 Jake episodes, this is the one that has the least Jake in it? Which is not really why I’m ranking it lower, but it does put their dynamic into generic “girl clearly likes guy but is too proud and scared to admit her feelings” territory. Which is necessary for their story to develop, but isn’t as fun as the episodes where we actually see why she hasn’t been “falling all over him” up to this point (meaning, her aversion to his personality). And we pretty much end the episode right where we started: once again, Miley’s pining over him, wants to express her feelings for him, but feels like she can’t… only now she’s got a more solid reason not to.
“More Than A Zombie To Me” (Season One)
I was torn at first between this one and the Dolly one, but I ranked this one higher for a few reasons. For one, the storyline is a bit more complex and nuanced. Lilly teases Miley for being in denial of her feelings for Jake, Miley rejects him when he asks her out… but then Hannah Montana has to kiss him. She makes a case for why she shouldn’t have to kiss him… only to realize she wanted to when they actually listen to her. Jake respects her “no” and asks someone else… only for her to realize she wanted him after all. Miley fights with Lilly for Jake’s affections… only for her to realize that her friendship with Lilly is more important than whether or not she “gets the guy.”
Beat for beat, Miley is always one step behind, not because she’s stupid, but because she has too much pride to see what’s right in front of her, to acknowledge her own feelings. It’s not the most pleasant characterization for Miley, but it is very telling characterization, and it paints an interesting picture of her and her relationships to both Jake and Lilly— that she genuinely wants to mean what she says and say what she means, but her pride makes it harder for her to figure out what she actually wants. She genuinely wants to be a decent, down-to-earth person, but sometimes she’s too self-centered to realize how she’s coming off and how she might be hurting others.
What’s most interesting here, though, is Lilly’s characterization and development in the Jake arc. In this episode and the one before it, she’s among the girls who are “falling all over” Jake, even continuing to say “Sup” to him because he said it to her once like it’s their “special thing.” She alternates between starstruck awe over Jake and amusement over Miley’s aversion to him, teasing Miley that she may be protesting too much, and shamelessly drooling all over him to Miley’s annoyance. After this episode, we see her being the supportive friend and #1 Shipper On Deck for Jake and Miley… then firmly against Jake and Miley together after they break up the first time, and from that point on, genuinely over Jake and wanting what’s best for her best friend.
But this episode… this is where we see the switch. This is where we see Lilly giving Miley a fair shot, then taking Jake for herself when the opportunity presents itself. This is where we see her doing something for herself for once and going beyond that “best friend” role… only to realize it’s not meant to be. That Jake only ever had eyes for Miley. That she was the canned fruit cup he settled for after all. It’s painful and heartbreaking, and perhaps a less strong friendship wouldn’t be able to withstand it, but theirs does. Because Lilly does. Because Lilly knows that whatever Miley says, being with Jake would make her happy, and Jake wants Miley more than anyone else. And she’s willing to do whatever it takes to help them be happy together… even if it means she doesn’t get the guy herself. I think Lilly’s role in all this is so underrated, and she deserves massive credit for the maturity and development she displays here.
And of course, we have more characterization for Jake, where he’s… very much himself, but also better than Miley initially gives him credit for. Yeah, he’s still hiding behind his ego and bravado, and he does initially say Miley must’ve been nervous to reject him when he asks her out a second time on the beach, but we also see him accepting that she doesn’t like him back (or so he thinks). We see that he’s sweet to Hannah as a coworker, and then he confides in her that he likes Miley because she’s “cute, funny, smart, down-to-earth,” and because she sees him as a person, not as a superstar. I do think “moving on” from Miley by asking out her best friend, right in front of her, is kind of a dick move (or possibly a jealousy play), and he could’ve made a little more of an effort to be loyal to Lilly as she was his date, rather than being so obvious that he preferred Miley, but overall, I think this is a good episode for developing Jake as someone with hidden depths, and someone Miley could realistically fall for.
(Also, the subplot is comedy gold from start to finish.)
“People Who Use People” (Season One)
Their first kiss! Yeah, there’s no getting around it: this one’s amazing. Their banter is just on point from beginning to end. We have a continuation of Jake and Hannah’s pleasant costar relationship, a continuation of Miley’s ever-more-obvious feelings for Jake, and we have a culmination of the tension between the two in an incredible scene. Once again, this does one of my favorite things: it turns the narrative on its head. We know Miley used Willis to make Jake jealous, but now it’s revealed that Jake was doing the same thing with Holly all along.
“Holly? She’s not my girlfriend. We have a movie coming out, so we’ve been hanging out, it’s a publicity thing.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that before?!”
“Uhhh… well… I-I think I—”
“Wait a minute, I know why. Because you were trying to make me jealous.”
“Was not.”
“Was too. Admit it, Jake, you like me.”
“No, you like me, just say it.”
“No, you say it!”
“No, you!”
“No, you!”
*cue Big Damn Kiss*
They spar with each other like this all episode, meeting each other on the same level beat for beat. And Lilly eating popcorn in the background and falling off her chair? Let’s not lie to ourselves, we were all Lilly in this moment. Ultimately, this isn’t the story of “how they got together,” because Jake leaves for a movie, but even that makes some sense. He feels good that he got to kiss her before he left and doesn’t have to wonder what it would’ve been like, she feels angry that he kissed her when he knew he’d be leaving soon, and ultimately his acting career comes before him having a normal life, as it always sort of has, which unfortunately means it also has to come before Miley. But once again, we have an open ending, a clear “not now” rather than a “never,” and a question to be potentially answered in the future: Will They, Might They, and Would It Work Out? And of course, what’s next?
But before we get into that, let’s talk about where it all began:
#3: “New Kid in School” (Season One)
Who doesn’t love a good First Meeting, especially one that starts off with two prospective lovers starting off on the wrong foot? What I love about them starting off on the wrong foot here, though, is that it’s not really due to misunderstandings. On the contrary, Miley is the only person who knows exactly what’s going on— even better than Jake does, I’d argue, because he doesn’t even realize how arrogant he comes across, and Miley’s the only one willing to call him out on it.
This isn’t even particularly a shippy episode, apart from “Also, he thinks I’m cute, not that I care,” but I’d argue it’s better because it establishes them as characters first, and as Foils. Both of them are celebrities attending normal school and who, in theory, want to be treated like normal kids, but while Jake talks the talk and still gets everything he wants, Miley walks the walk and has to lose her celebrity privileges in exchange for peace and privacy. It’s understandable that Miley feels she’s gotten the short end of the stick, and it’s only later, after she’s opened her big mouth of course, when Jake confides in her that sometimes he really does wish he could be normal, it’s only then that she realizes she’s the lucky one.
But of course it’s not too late for her, it’s too early in the show for that! So we see her family coming together in this hilarious scene where they pretend they’re all crazy celebrity-impersonators. As a side note, I like to think they didn’t buy the Elvis costume for this, but that Jackson just had it lying around already and was itching for an excuse to use it. (Maybe he was Elvis for a previous Halloween, idk.)
In any case, the reason I rank this higher is that even though it doesn’t show that Miley and Jake like each other all that much, it shows why they could like each other, which in my opinion is more important. I mean, ideally, you’d have both, but this does a good job of introducing Jake as someone who seems like just another egotistical celebrity Miley can’t stand, but underneath that, is someone who just might understand what she goes through better than anyone, and Miley is the perfect person to understand him right back.
#2: “That’s What Friends Are For?” (Season Two)
The return of not one, but two iconic guest stars in the best and worst way: together. Months after their breakup, Miley finds Jake at her doorstep after sparring with Mikayla, and is sure he’s only there to get her back… but he just wants to be friends. Great! Good, no drama! That’s exactly what she wanted… right?
Even better, he invites her on the set of a talk show so he can reveal his new movie… and his new costar, her archrival Mikayla. The worst part is, he chose Mikayla out of courtesy. He doesn’t know Hannah and Mikayla hate each other, because they act friendly when they’re on-camera. He did it because he values his relationship with Miley, and doesn’t want to ruin their friendship by inviting her to play his love interest. And Miley… well, we all know Miley isn’t as okay with this as she pretends to be, and it only becomes more apparent as the episode goes on.
What I love about this is the role reversal this puts them in. For once, Jake is the one being mature, and Miley is the one that needs to apologize and grow, and admits it. It’s framed that way and everything. It’s almost bittersweet to watch, because this was such a good step for them, and probably the most mature episode involving the two. To see them go backwards in development after this, to see Jake be raked through the coals by the writers, all that good will between them forgotten and retconned and burned to hell later on, there’s just something very bitterly tragic about it. This episode was so important for them, not just as a relationship, but as people, and I wish that good will they had towards each other had remained and gotten a proper follow-up.
Of course, this was itself an excellent follow-up to…
#1: “Achy Jakey Heart” (Season Two)
Was it ever even a question? Jake Ryan returns in glorious fashion: falling from the sky, in a tux, down on one knee begging Miley’s forgiveness, with chocolates from the sky. Say what you will, that man knows his way around a Big Romantic Gesture. And he doesn’t stop there: muffins, “Jake steak,” a cardboard cutout, and barging in the front door in a literal knight costume, he asks what more he can do. More importantly, he says, “You’ve dumped stuff on me, and you’ve yelled at me. The one thing you haven’t done is tell me you don’t care about me. Tell me that, and I’ll go away.” Even after all this, he’s willing to respect her if the answer is “no.” He just wants to make sure it’s “no” because she doesn’t want him, and not because she doesn’t believe he cares for her. He does care for her, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to prove it.
He gets tested for this pretty much right away, fails in private, and then passes in public when Miley least expects him to. After telling Miley he can’t take her to a movie premiere because he’s pretending to date his costar, he rejects his costar on live TV to confess his love for Miley. He doesn’t do it expecting her to come back, rather, he admits his fault and accepts that for him, there’s no happy ending. And Miley responds in the best way possible, showing up with a “Who says real life doesn’t have happy endings?” and a Big Damn Kiss of her own.
This is also when they confide in each other. Jake tells her his real name is Leslie, and Miley tells him she’s Hannah Montana. They’re vulnerable with each other for the first time in their relationship, and they understand each other better than ever. Unfortunately, it’s understanding, or lack thereof, that also leads to their demise.
Jake wants to be a normal guy, or at least he thinks he does. Miley feels to a certain extent that she is a normal girl, just a normal girl who happened to get famous. And that disconnect, that difference hurts them. Miley realizes that Jake doesn’t actually know what it’s like to be normal, and having to be with someone who can’t handle one night of it, as well as the pressure of being famous as Miley too, is what finally cracks them open. I will say she could’ve handled it a lot better, and good on Jake for calling her out on her lack of communication, but in the end, their relationship is left with a mutual understanding: that Jake respects her secret, listened to what she had to say, and wants to improve. Not so that he can get her back, but so that he can be “worthy of someone as terrific as” her.
This also has ONE OF THE BEST SUBPLOTS OF ALL TIME. Cheese jerky? Capitalist commentary? Jackson rolling in money and Rico being mad about it? Oliver and Jackson doing a rap together? Are you not entertained? Like its main plot, this does end up reverting to the status quo by the end, but it’s done in a way that’s both crushingly realistic and brutally hilarious. Overall, this episode? One for the ages.
So there it is— every Jake Ryan episode, ranked. I have a whole ton more I could say about Jake Ryan, Miley Stewart, and their overall dynamic (and probably will, this week lol nope), but I feel like this is a decent start that outlines my opinions in quite a bit of detail. While not a perfect couple by any means, they sure as hell made the screen a lot more interesting. And hey, the course of true love never did run smooth, why should they be any different?
#jake ryan#jiley#jake x miley#miley x jake#hannah montana#hannah montana episodes#jake ryan episodes#hannah montana ranked#ranked series#hannah montana analysis#Hannah Montana March Madness#miley stewart#jesse hannah montana#team jake ryan#oliver oken#lilly truscott#traci van horn#jackson stewart#mikayla skeech#long post#long under the cut#(probably my longest post to date actually)#and i'm fine with that#hannah montana criticism#disney channel criticism#disney criticism#positive and negative
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gateway Drug | Part Ninety-Three [PT. 1]
Words: 3k
Warning(s): explicit language, drug abuse
Tag List: @unknownoblivion @edwardtriggerhandzz @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @lilmou5ie @emariehorror @divaanya @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @abaldboi @liith-ium @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @ytwahsog @scarecrowmax @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @cruecifymesixx @meetthesixxter @arianareirg @gingerspicetalks
@fancywasmyname1 @teller258316 @ggorehorror @blowinmeupwithherlove @xrosegoldwolfx @mylifeisjustafeverdream @redlipscrystalskies14 @str4nge-haze @reigns420 @sixxseconds2love @leatherandheels @dogmom2014 @allyouneedislove-mp3 @n0-self-c0ntro1 @viinceneil
LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED
NIKKI
1987
I throw another drink back not long after yelling obscurities at Viv as she stomped out of VIP to leave and go home, between more lines of blow, a trip to the bathroom to get a fix and some drinks, we decide to take the party to Steven's new place.
"You guys just can't be too loud, though, got it?" He says as sternly as he can as we get inside and he fumbles for his key.
"Alright, alright, alright," I mumble, stepping inside, grabbing his bottle of Jack off the counter before getting comfortable on the floor by the window.
We all talk--as best we can--for a little while, Steven and the boys making some calls to get some dealers here, and the only thing on my mind is getting a potent fix, until I hear something...very faint, very familiar...very, very, familiar...I furrow my brows to focus more, ignoring the guys' laughter and voices, my eyes training on the wall opposite of me.
My subconscious puts it together before my conscious does, like smelling a blanket from a childhood home and immediately being taken back before your brain can quite grasp the feeling.
Multiple memories shrouding that sound of Vivian that only she can really pull off.
It doesn't take rocket science equation solving skills to put together why I'm currently hearing her soft, pretty moans carry on next door.
I'm pretty sure more members of Guns, aside from Steven, are staying here right now.
Apparently Stevie hears it not long after and slips into the next suite, where the sound is coming from, that's connected to his suite.
I don't hear it anymore after he gets back in here.
"Dealer's coming or what?" I ask Steven, my high starting to get blowed from the fact that my wife is next door on her back for someone who isn't me.
I'd be jealous if I weren't numb to it by now.
"They're all tied up, man." Steven tells me and I groan, thinking for a second.
An idea comes to mind that makes me want to bang my head against the wall, but I'm desperate and left with no option at this point.
"I know a guy," I mumble, dragging myself up to the phone in the little kitchen area, reluctantly dialing a number I never wanted to dial again.
It rings once...twice...three times…
"Hello?" He answers and I roll my eyes.
"'Sup man, it's Nikki." I reply, trying to put on my best "friendly" voice, even though it's making my blood boil that the bastard I could see myself killing is ultimately the one that's gonna be able to save the day.
"Hey, dude." He replies.
"Me and a few buddies of mine are out here at the Franklin Plaza Suites and need a few things." I rub the back of my neck.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
It's quiet, and he reluctantly breathes out.
"I'll see what I can do." I can hear the satisfaction in his voice that I'm having to call him.
Within the next forty minutes there's more people here than I'm comfortable with, groupies, and hangerson, and other drug adoring morons, and then my saving grace comes through the door once Steven lets him in.
Slash is already slipping into a Jack induced stupor. Sally came in a few minutes ago screaming at all of us guys for leaving her at the Cat House.
We didn't even realize we'd forgotten her.
She's in the bathroom, probably keeping herself in there to keep from starting an argument with Slash in front of everyone.
Robbin's on the phone with Laurie.
Apparently it's just in men's nature to get fucked up, call our wives, and profess our undying love for them despite the fact we cheat on them nearly every time we hangout with our friends.
I wonder what would happen if I went in there on her and Duff right now.
What would she say?
Probably nothing.
She'd just look at the floor and try not to cry, probably.
What would I do?
I know that I know what's going on between them, but if I actually walked in and saw them together, caught in the act…
I'd either be a pussy and cry over it, or kill them both--him first and make her watch, and then just slowly torture her or something. God, I'm fucked up. Even though I'm pretty sure being married to me is torture enough to her.
I know it's torture to me, too.
"Here dude," Sparkie hands me a syringe and a spoon, and I look at him, too out of focus to concentrate on getting it right.
"Fix me." I say to him and he scoffs.
"Okay, dude." He starts getting it ready and I look at that wall again. Staring at it, taking a sip of my drink.
Fucking Vivian.
Of course. Her. Of all the women I've hooked up with and dated in my life, she--the most harmless, at least in my dumbfuck mind when I first met her--is the one to screw me over like this.
And I've let her.
If I did what Vince does to Sharise and have that whole, "no hanging out with your boy friends without me" rule, this wouldn't even be an issue.
That's the problem. Somewhere along the way I loosened her leash a little too much and now she's chewed her way through it entirely.
"You look like you're in hell, you know," Sparkie tells me, fixing the tourniquet around my arm… "But that's okay, you're about to be in heaven in just a few seconds." He assures me.
I know he's right. I just need to hang on to that.
In just a few seconds, I'll be--
I hear Vivian, again, and I reach around my neck and grab onto her cross I've been wearing for weeks, now, squeezing it at the sting of the needle going into my skin.
I feel him shoot me up, my mind waiting to chase and catch the high that I just know is about to come.
My fingers slip from the crucifix, and I feel myself fall back before a weightless feeling washes over me.
Present
I keep rereading the damn paper, repeatedly, trying my hardest not to throw a fit...
Nikki Sixx and his wife, Vivian, recently confirmed that she is indeed pregnant issuing a simple and straightforward,"Yes, it's true," statement earlier this week through Nikki's manager, and--as speculated--her pregnancy is not with Nikki. Many fans and some friends of the couple are blown out of the water by this sudden turn of events, others who are familiar with the rockstar and his band but never really paid much attention to his personal relationships, are now curious as to who exactly Vivian Sixx is. Well, in an open letter, rumored to be intended for print in Rolling Stone, a few anonymous former roadies of Mötley Crüe--who partook on their Girls, Girls, Girls, tour in 1987--are here to introduce who they saw behind the scenes of flashing cameras and public sweet moments with husband Nikki.
"This is a letter to Mötley Crüe fans, we're a mere handful of people out of the many who witnessed monstrosities behind the scenes while on tour with the Crüe since Summer of 1987, none of which were caused by the band or any members, themselves, but one woman in particular. We had no reason to really bring any of this up, but in light of recent news, we are disheartened and angered of the betrayal against one of the four men who gave us an opportunity to live several months in our lives that will forever impact us in the best way known, and provide heartwarming memories by the dozen. This is not an attack on Nikki Sixx, especially given his past struggles with opioid addiction, alcoholism, as well as his abusive wife. The first time we met Vivian, she was polite and friendly, but very assertive. It was obvious it would be her way or no way, and often times she and Nikki would go back and forth with who was running things. It was obvious Nikki was unwell at times, whether it'd be hungover, sick from withdrawal or simply tired from a show the night before. Vivian would choose these times when he was at his most exhausted to pick fights with him. He'd tell her to go away or 'f**k off,' and she'd continue to verbally and mentally beat him down more than he clearly already was. When Rolling Stone came to interview the band shortly after the wild rumor Vanity started publicly, we were told Vivian had tried to physically attack the reporter working on the story, simply because he made the comment that Pepsi wasn't good for her. Small things like that would often set her off, leaving security, managers, and band members to try to dodge fists while pulling her off of her unsuspecting victim, who was typically Nikki. Many times we'd hear them arguing in the hotel rooms, dressing rooms, bathrooms, tour bus, etc., usually followed by sounds of what we can only describe as 'pitchy, hungry, pornstar moans' on her part--clearly using her body to get back in his good graces after wearing him down. After their fights, Nikki would always have a bottle of alcohol on hand, some kind of drug, and would keep to himself. Our comradery with him soon began to dwindle with each month because it was obvious she was beginning to suck the life out of him. He was more introverted overtime, and higher more often than he was at the beginning of the tour. It really got bad when Guns N' Roses came on tour for a month, because Vivian's attacks on him and the other members of Mötley Crüe, began to pop off as randomly and explosively as fireworks. We'd witness some foul exchange (brought on by Vivian) between her and Nikki backstage, either verbal or physical, nearly every night. People can talk down on the Crüe for being bad boys, but they've shown everybody that's helped them on tour, gratitude. All the wives and girlfriends that would come on that we'd offer food and drinks to would always express gratitude with a smile and a warm heart, but Vivian would always stay silent and cold towards us. She's a trashy, bitchy, whiney, hateful, spiteful, conniving, plotting python that now has her cold-blooded grasp around not only Nikki's neck, but also Duff's. Her game is to find the most well rounded guys while maintaining under her guise that she's a kind, Christianly woman, and see how far she can push them until they work themselves to death, literally, with trying to please her. We aren't surprised that she's pregnant, she probably video taped herself conceiving the damn thing and sent it to Nikki. We hope she did so it can be practice for her inevitable low-budget porn career when she runs out of rockstars to f**k and kill, as we've mentioned, she already sounds like one in the throws of passion. Anyway, Nikki, we're hoping you decide to kick her aside and start fresh. Duff, get a paternity test, dude. Crüe fans, don't let that red-headed bitch fool you."
"Who the hell is Page Six to give these bastards a platform in the first place, Doc?!" I snap.
"Nikki, I am handling it, I'm on it--"
"--You tell the L.A. Times and Rolling fucking Stone if they take this shit and run with it, too, I'm personally coming to their offices and fucking them up. Not the publications themselves, but the people trying to put this out there in print, individually." I hiss.
"Nikki, just--"
"--And who the hell--what roadies did this?!"
"I don't know, Nikki, but I'm trying my hardest to get it cleaned up." He assures me.
"'She's a trashy, bitchy, whiney, hateful, spiteful, conniving, plotting python that now has her cold-blooded grasp around not only Nikki's neck, but also Duff's. Her game is to find the most well rounded guys while maintaining under her guise that she's a kind, Christianly woman, and see how far she can push them until they work themselves to death, literally, with trying to please her'?!" I read that snippet, just so he can be reminded how fucked this is, trying my hardest not to start pitching a fucking fit.
"Fucking AJaxx isn't even cleaning this up! Press mongrels are gonna be humping these bastards legs for giving them sales for the next nine months!" I outburst.
"Sixx, don't worry about it, alright? It won't go past this shitty Page Six story, okay?"
"It's fucking horse shit." I ignore him, trying to keep my cool. "Fuck." I kick at the leg of the table, running a hand through my hair.
"I guess one decently positive thing is that Viv doesn't know about this," he says next and I shake my head a little, feeling a migraine starting to come on, strong.
I was tempted then to check myself out of rehab and 'handle' it myself, but decided it wouldn't be worth it. I hoped it would go away and it would all blow over eventually.
"Vivian, don't listen to any of it, alright? Me and you and everyone on that tour know damn well it wasn't just you being a bitch and us being the innocent victims." I say through the phone as Viv tries to calm down, her breathing shaky and ragged from crying so much.
"I know that but the fans and other people don't know that." She says to me, her voice quiet and tired. "I'm so embarrassed, Nikki." She adds. "I'm already embarrassed that everybody knows I cheated on you but now this whole thing…" she trails off and I feel guilt tug at my heart.
I don't know what the fuck to say.
I'm used to criticism from the press, but none of them have tore into me or any of the guys--except Vince after the Razzle accident--so personally and extensively as they're tearing at her.
Calling me a devil worshipper and saying my music is shitty gets annoying and frustrating and even infuriating at times, but attacking my wife and calling her a low budget porn star and telling me to kick her aside?
Fuck that.
"I'm sorry, Viv. I really am." I assure her, honestly, closing my eyes when I hear her stifle a little sob out. "Where are you at right now?" I ask.
"Duff wanted me to meet his family." She tells me. "I'll be back Saturday."
I'm relieved she actually has a reason for not being here, but I'm also hurt that she didn't give me a heads up. But I don't want to talk about it right now. I think she's been punished enough today.
"Okay...you didn't show yesterday and I was just worried." I admit.
"I know, it was just a spur of the moment thing. He asked me last week and I didn't think it'd be an issue."
"Oh."
I glance around and let out a breath.
"I, um, I'm gonna go. I got a group thing with the guys at 3:00." I tell her.
"Okay."
"Are you gonna be okay or do I need to break out and kick someone's ass?" I ask her, half-joking, and she laughs, making me smile.
"I'll be okay." She tells me.
"I'll see you next week, Sixx."
I can practically hear the smile in her voice when she says, "see you next week."
We hang up and I rub my lips together, taking a few deep breaths before heading to where me and the guys meet with Amber three times a week now.
Tommy and Vince are waiting for me, and I plop down beside them, leaning forward, elbows on my knees, hands running over my face…
"Psst," Tommy nudges me and I look at him as Vince gets up to grab a cup of coffee.
"What?" I ask him, and he puts his finger over his mouth.
"You seen the shit they're on Vivian for?" He whispers and I furrow my brows, looking around.
"The room is empty except us, dude, why are you--"
"--Shh," he says.
"Why are you whispering?" I finish my sentence.
"Because they probably have this motherfucker bugged out the ass." He replies, glancing around again. "I'm thinking of breaking outta here, man." He whispers very, very quietly.
"You do know we're not being held here by legal obligation, right? They won't chase us down and have the cops on us if we just check ourselves out." I point out and he furrows his brows a little.
"Oh."
"Why do you wanna 'break out'?" I ask.
"I miss Heather and my dogs and I wanna be able to be there Viv, dude. She fucking needs us right now and we're, like, over an hour away--disconnected from shit. I mean we wouldn't even know what the fuck was going on in the world if Doc wasn't keeping us in the loop, ya know?"
I think about it for a second.
"We're over a month into our three month stay, dude." I state. "We can't just throw in the towel, now."
"I don't mean ditch it and stay gone. I just mean check out for a few days, go back home, see what all is going on and come back." He shrugs.
It seems oddly appealing.
Way too appealing, actually.
"I don't know, Tommy…" I rub the back of my neck.
"I already talked to Vince about it and he's down."
"Of course he is."
"And we wouldn't be doing it tomorrow or anything. I'm thinking next week."
"Does Doc know?" I ask.
"Fuck Doc." He scoffs.
"Agreed." I nod, chuckling.
"So, you in or not, man?"
"Just for a few days?"
"Just for a few days."
"Then we're all coming back in?"
"Like we never left to begin with."
"No drugs, no parties, not even alcohol."
"Just spending time with our families and then back to the grindstone." He states.
"...I'm in."
...You know when you're on a shitty diet, eating boring, tasteless, "healthy" food, and then decide you've been stuck to your diet long enough that you can have one slice of cake because you're disciplined enough to control yourself? And now, two years later, you're still telling yourself you'll get back on your diet because after that slice of cake you just said, "fuck it," and never thought about forcing yourself to eat lettuce again? Let's just say leaving rehab prematurely works the same damn way.
41 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
hopepapernacky
Just a loser obsessed with very specific things
tiyoin
tiyoin |?
65buddah
Untitled
buttrise
NOPE
ameliakruspe
Let's get away, just for one day