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saratinz · 8 months
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I'M BACK / UPDATE
It's been *ahem* a little while, but I am alive. Life has been very interesting. I have not done much writing, although I do have many ideas. I really want to prioritize finishing Fuck Away the Pain, as she is my fave child (don't tell the others).
I am in a bit of a predicament, though. To fight writer's block, I just jumped into what I thought was going to be the last part, but then my brain went a little crazy and it's left on a cliffhanger. And the story gets so crazy it completely shifts the tone and genre of the series. I can be a silly goose sometimes (and I often am). I'm gonna rewrite the chapter so that it will be much happier and actually have the fairytale smut ending you deserve.
But man, I am in a very serious writing drought, and I don't want to scrap something that I really enjoyed working on. And I definitely don't want to force myself to write a boring and cliche finale, I want to write a sexy and cliche finale when I get my spark back. So here's what I'm thinking, readers will have two options for their ending, the happy ending or the sad "ending" that will actually lead into a long, crazy, and angsty spinoff series that will have a happy ending (because even though I love writing angst, I refuse to give these bitches a bad ending). The endings, the happy and the sad (not including the spinoff series), will be posted simultaneously sometime in late September / early October, and if that changes, I'll let y'all know. I hope you have a great day (or night, depending on when you're seeing this). Thank you!
- Sara <3
Main Masterlist
Fuck Away the Pain Masterlist
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
taglist:
@ladifreakingda, @thorinsmistress, @shara-ne, @adaiasafira, @juicykingdompeach, @divinemoonlight31, @hhiggs, @blackhawkfanatic, @pono-pura-vida, @unaxv, @izzy-riddle27, @junerosie, @princezzjasmine, @janineb86, @cl7ire
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saratinz · 1 year
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Show Me Where It Hurts
pairing ➩ Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
warnings ➩ angst, drinking, smut, oral (m receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, daddy kink, praise, pet names (good girl, sweetheart, baby, honey, slut)
synopsis ➩ part four of 'Fuck Away the Pain'
word count ➩ 1.4k
a/n ➩ comment or dm me to be added to taglist.
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“Y/n, I’m not so sure this is a good idea.” He considers Sam’s words, but he’s also only human. If you keep pushing, he will break. Both of you know that. “This morning you said…”
“I know what I said, but you should know that I’m a liar.”
“Good girls don’t lie.”
“What do you do to bad girls like me, daddy?”
“I punish them.”
“Hopefully you don’t hurt me too bad, wouldn’t want me to walk all funny tomorrow.”
“Well now that you mention it, that would be really cute. Can’t leave me without functioning legs, and even if you do escape, everyone will know that you got fucked nice and hard. No one will touch you ever again. But that won’t even matter, because you only want me. Isn’t that right?”
“Yes daddy, you’re the only one for me.” Bucky melts at your words. “Well, if I’m going to get punished might as well get it over with.” You lead him into his room, closing and locking the door in record speed. Clothes fly in all different directions, there’s so much sexual tension you need to get out. “Don’t prep, I want you inside me.”
“You’re not in charge here, I’ll do what I want to do to your body.”
“And what’s that?”
“Get on your knees.” You kneel in front of him, pressing a kiss to his blood red tip. Before you can spit on his length, hands push you onto it, plunging right to the back of your throat. In response, you push him away. “No teasing or I swear to god I’ll fuck your face so hard you can’t breathe.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Don’t be a brat.”
“I’m not being a brat, I’m just telling you I don’t believe you.” As soon as you are finished speaking he is back in mouth, grabbing your hair and giving a harsh tug, and you feel your eyes start to well up. “Aww, you’re crying. Can you multitask, suck my cock and cry at the same time?” You glare at him from your knees. You keep on staring right into his eyes as your hands move to play with his neglected balls, squeezing them with the perfect amount of pressure. “You really know what you’re doing there, fuck.” He continues to face fuck you, and you continue to shed tears. You try to inhale, but it’s so hard with a nine inch dick thrusting inside your mouth, and you can’t even fathom taking another breath. But you don’t care, not when you get to have Bucky all to yourself like this. When it’s just the two of you, everything just feels right. Everything feels, well, perfect. “Get up, I wanna be inside you.”
You do as he says, and he pushes you onto his bed, climbing on top of you shortly after. Your legs push him towards your core and you take a deep breath, still panting from the way you got your throat pounded. He enters you, immediately setting a relentless pace. Time slows, your heart rate quickens, and your fingernails dig into his back. You’re holding on to him so tight, squeezing him with your arms, legs, and pussy to keep him from leaving. He stares directly into your eyes, then crashes his lips to yours as his flesh hand moves down between your thighs. The tight circles on your clit mixed with the hot tongue in your mouth sends you over the edge. “Daddy, I’m cumming.”
“Good girl.” He leaves your hole, and suddenly you’re picked up, wrapping your legs around his waist. Still carrying you like you weigh nothing, he gently presses your back to the wall. The metal arm you love so much digs into your right thigh in painful pleasure. “Hold on baby, gotta get in your tight cunt again.” You moan as he intrudes your core, wanting nothing more than to scream his name. But you can’t do that, because unfortunately, you have to be considerate to Bucky’s floor-mates. Your legs are so sore already, and he is nowhere near done with you. “Fuck sweetheart, you feel so good. You have the best cunt in the whole world, and you also have the best daddy in the world. I know exactly how to fuck you. Know how to make you feel so good.” He finds that spongey spot, and hits it over and over until your eyes are rolling to the back of your head and you’re cumming all over his dick.
Barely a minute passes before he has you on your hands and knees, fucking into you with no regard for your overstimulation. You don’t complain though, because all you want is to please and be pleased by him. When you hated him, he got under your skin, and now that you love him, you get under him. You could spend all day every day here in his bed, in his grasp. No drugs or alcohol bring you to this state of euphoria. You need him, you’re his after all. No matter how bad he hurt you, no matter how angry you are with him, you will never resist his touch. This is probably a bad relationship, and you know it’s eventually gonna end, but you also know that you deserve good things. Love is a complicated thing, and even though you can’t be his girlfriend, at least you can be his girl. The one he touches, and who touches him; The one he loves, and who loves him. As much as you want to actually be with him, this will have to do. The kinky sex will have to be enough. Your mind is racing, and yet it’s empty at the same time. You don’t even realize you’re having an orgasm till the man behind you pulls you out of your trance. “You’re doing so good for daddy, can you give me one more? After that we’ll go to bed.”
“Yes.”
“Okay baby, get on top, I want you to ride me.” You groan as you maneuver around, the burning of you thighs very evident in this position. You sit yourself on his cock, but you just can’t seem to lift your body back up. “Aww, is my little slut too fucked out to move? Don’t worry, daddy will do all the work.” He grabs you hips and holds you in place as his lift up at a sadistic velocity. You’re so empty-headed, no thoughts cross your mind except how good Bucky is fucking you. Goddamnit, why does he have to be so good at sex? If he was terrible it would be easy to leave, everything between the two of you would be over. But no, he has to be a sex god who breaks you apart every time you fuck. It’s barely three minutes before you’re sent over the edge again. Of course he can give you four orgasms in one night, even though you’ve only ever managed to give yourself two. “Daddy’s gonna cum, okay?”
“DADDY.” You scream as you squirt and he cums inside you.
“I love you so much.” He coos at you, basking in the mess you all just made.
“I love you too.” He pulls himself out of you and helps you get into a pair of his boxers and one of his favorite shirts, wondering how he got so lucky. He found the girl of his dreams, but messed it up almost immediately. To call what he did a mistake would be an understatement, it was a royally fucked up thing to do. He was selfish, drank too much, didn’t take care of himself, resulting in him not being able to take care of you. Except in moments like these, where he gets to pleasure your perfect body. Where he gets to pretend that he will have a happy ending. He gets to pretend that you’ll get married, have children, and grow old with him. But he knows he won’t get a happy ending. And he knows that he’ll watch from the sidelines as you get married, have children, and grow old with someone else.
You leave his room early the next morning, managing to get out without waking him up. You limp to your room and take a long, hot shower. It feels amazing, but doesn’t even hold a candle to last night. Once you’re done, you get ready for the day. You change into your workout clothes and head down to the gym. You’re alone for a while, but then a familiar face enters the room. “Hey Sam.”
“Y/n, we need to talk.”
Previous part / Masterlist / Next part
taglist:
@ladifreakingda, @thorinsmistress, @shara-ne, @adaiasafira, @juicykingdompeach, @divinemoonlight31, @clqrosmgc, @hhiggs
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saratinz · 1 year
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For a girlie with all earth signs for my big three, this is a pretty spicy combo. Listen, this would be a weird ass fic, but I would absolutely write it. Like, how do these tropes even work together? It would definitely be a nightmare to come up with the plot, but I am so curious as to what the end product would look like.
Find your trope here.
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My narrative is doomed.
No presh Tagging: @flordeamatista @cocobutterqwueen @boxofbonesfic @darkficsyouneveraskedfor @shadeysprings @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight
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saratinz · 1 year
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THIS IS ADORABLE!!!
My Everyday
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Pairing: College Athlete!Bucky x Reader
Summary: Bucky Barnes was aggressive, annoying, and—worst of all—a hockey player. Not your type. At all. But, unfortunately, your roommate. 
Word count: 5.5k
Warnings: Minor injury, idiots in love <3, some angst, pining
a/n: My first fic in a century!! Thank you so much for reading if you’re still here. Depending on how this does I hope I’ll have motivation to write more! College athlete Bucky never fails to get me inspired :)
Masterlist
~~
“What’s this punks name again?” 
The breath you let out was long and excruciating. “I am not repeating myself.” 
“C’mon, y/n,” Bucky whined, knocking his head back on the couch. He watched you bustle around the kitchen from his inverted vantage point. “How the hell am I supposed to swoop in and save the day if I don’t even know the kid’s name?” 
“Okay, well, first of all—” the fridge door clicked shut with a swift motion of your hips “—he’s not a ‘kid’. I’m pretty sure he’s a few months older than you.” 
“Semantics.” 
“And second of all,” you stressed, pointing a butter knife in his direction. “There will be no ‘swooping in’. I’m going to have a nice date and you are going to go hang out with your puck rabbits or whatever they're called. There will be no thinking about me and no swooping in my vicinity.” 
Bucky rolled his eyes, kicking up from the couch and rounding the kitchen counter to pick at your sandwich. You knocked his hand away several times, but you both knew it was futile. In the months you’d been living with the hockey player—who was far too big for the small, shoebox of an apartment you leased—you’d learned that food was non-negotiable for Bucky Barnes. 
There were many other things you’d learned about him as well. He sang in the shower, but only when he thought you weren’t home. He had an annoying penchant for using your $30 lotion—again, when he thought you weren’t home. And he loved to throw his massive, smelly gear just about anywhere it would land right when he got home from every practice. 
He didn’t really care if you were home for that last one. 
Bucky was the last person you thought you would be rooming with when you posted that ad last summer. A small, quaint room previously occupied by your now engaged (and traitorous) best friend, you assumed someone like-minded to yourself would have taken you up on your offer. The price point wasn’t egregious and the building was relatively close to campus. 
But weeks ticked by, and you started getting desperate. Your landlord wasn’t a nice lady, something you were positive she took pride in, and she decided that a rent increase was the perfect way to ring in the new school year. You were on the verge of destitution, and as it so happened, the only other person as desperate as you was the starting center for your college’s hockey team. 
You hardly got along. It had taken weeks for your eye to stop twitching every time he tumbled through the front door at three in the morning, and even longer for you not to feel an infuriating aggravation at his random, nighttime smoothies. You supposed he probably felt the same about your cleanliness rules and your incessant reminders about trash days. Because Bucky was in charge of bringing the trash down those long, apartment steps. Not you. 
But you’d be lying if you said things hadn’t gotten easier as of late. Conversation flowed more smoothly, things that made you seethe before were only mildly annoying, and Bucky was being… considerate? You weren’t quite sure what to call the random cups of coffee he brought home on occasion. Or his sudden urge to warm up your car when he had a morning class before yours. 
There was also the case of that party last weekend. A frat party with far too many drunk men and not enough common sense, you had had the urge to leave the second you got there. But Wanda had dragged you along for the sole purpose of driving her home after she got hammered, so you were essentially stuck. 
It was fine at first. Hot and crowded and loud, but fine. You kept a general eye on Wanda and scrolled aimlessly on your phone in the armchair you claimed. And then it wasn’t fine, because a man twice your size was encroaching on your space and unrelenting. 
“What kinda girl comes to a party and doesn’t even wanna talk to anyone?” 
“You want to come up to my room and watch a movie or something?” 
“Hey, I’m talking to you, bitch.” 
You weren’t even aware that Bucky had been at that party. It wasn’t surprising—the line between fraternities and sports was blurred at your college—but the space he took up as he intercepted the man in front of you was.
~~
“There a problem here?” Bucky posed, crossing his arms over his chest, his presence looming above your seated position. His weight shifted to his toes.
The man didn’t miss a beat. “Yeah, you. Move.” 
“Wanna fucking tell me what to do again?” 
“Fuck you, man.” 
A harsh shove to Bucky’s chest was all it took for a right hook to echo in the living room of the frat house. There was chaos. Grunts and screams from the drunk people surrounding the unnecessary fight created a cacophony of unpleasant sounds that seemed to get the attention of someone in charge. The man—Brian, you had now learned based on screams—was pulled back from Bucky and getting chewed out by some president or manager of something. 
And Bucky was seething, chest rising and falling laboriously as he wiped at the new bruise forming on his face.
Fights were not uncommon. But this one had been about you. For you.
“Bucky?” you asked when the crowd calmed and Brian was no longer in the room. 
You watched his back release its tight coil. He turned. “Are you okay?” 
The words were almost lost in the noise of the crowd, but he was close enough that they created a tactile vibration across your skin. His pupils were dilated and he looked so disheveled it would have been charming if there wasn’t also a cut forming on his brow. 
“Y/n.” 
It took you a moment to realize that you hadn’t answered him. Your response fell out of you as if you’d been shoved. “I’m—I’m fine.” 
He grunted, but it was more of a puff of air. “The fuck was that guy?” 
“I don’t know,” you replied, realizing by the way you swayed that you had stood up at some point. “He just—” 
“We’re going home.��� 
“What? I can’t, I’m here with Wanda. I’m driving her, Bucky, I can’t just leave.” 
He grabbed your wrist, the grip achingly soft compared to the blows he was landing minutes before. “She left with that British guy she’s been on and off with. Asked me to tell you.” 
That explained his random appearance. Your brows pinched as you took in the information, eyes cast down to the angry red marks marring Bucky’s knuckles. He’d been in fights before. So many fights. On the ice. 
This was different. 
“I haven’t been drinking—I can drive myself home. You don’t have to leave,” you shouted over the music now bumping in the room. 
He didn’t respond, not verbally. He pulled you to his front instead, leading you through the impossible crowd until cool night air began melting into your skin. His silence was strange. Bucky’s favorite activity was talking your ear off until you told him to shut up, but right now… nothing. Even his earlier words had been clipped. 
You felt responsible for easing the tension in the air as Bucky continued to guide you to your car. You hadn’t told him where you parked, but he seemed to know the exact location anyways.
“You really don’t have to leave with me,” you mumbled. “It wasn’t a big deal or anything.” 
“It was a big deal.” 
~~
The drive home had been silent. The walk to the door had been as well. Bucky spent a few minutes appraising you in the overhead light of the living room when you got inside, but after that there was nothing. He went to his room and you went to yours. 
There was no discussion about it the morning after, either. Bucky apparently wanted to pretend nothing ever happened, so you respected that. Even now, you ignored the fading cuts on his hands as he shoveled food into his mouth.
Bucky’s next words were muffled by a mouthful of bread. “Well where’s this dude taking you at least?”
“Ice skating.”
The cough and sudden exasperation was very expected out of the man next to you, Bucky’s next words hardly containing syllables. “Huh?” 
“We’re going ice skating,” you reiterated. You picked up your lunch and headed for the living room, ignoring the slightly heaviness in your chest. “It’s winter and ice skating is festive. The rink on campus has decorations.” 
“Without me? Y/n, you’re gonna let some guy who probably doesn’t even know how to skate—” 
“Bucky—” you attempted to interrupt. 
“—drag you around the rink like a rag doll?” he continued, holding his hand up to mute your incoming speech. “I’ve asked you to come by the rink, like, a ton of times. You’ve never shown any interest.” 
You rolled your eyes and shot him a cross look as he picked your feet up from where they rested on the couch and dropped them into his lap. He went on with his rant for a little while longer, knocking his head back against cushions and accusing you of being a bad roommate. You had a few rebuttals of your own, but there was a reason you had never accompanied him to the rink. 
A good reason. 
You didn’t date athletes. 
It was true that simply going to visit Bucky at a practice, or letting him be the one to drag you around the ice like a rag doll, wouldn’t mean you were in a relationship by any means. But it would be an extra step. And if you were being honest with yourself, it would only take a few of those extra steps for the irritation you felt towards Bucky to melt into something else. 
And you didn’t date athletes. 
You did not. 
You didn’t have the time, nor the patience, to put up with the cheating, the anger issues, or the crazy schedules. And there wasn’t a single athlete you’d met at your sport-centered university that was willing to compromise on any of those subjects. Especially the cheating. You’d learned that the hard way after dating a lacrosse player for approximately one month before receiving the dreaded DM from a girl you had never met. 
The man hadn’t even given you the courtesy of pretending he didn’t know what she was talking about. He just admitted to his wrong-doing and shrugged. Shrugged. 
So athletes were not exactly in your good graces when it came to dating. 
“Are you even listening to me?” Bucky cut through your thoughts, patting your shin in impatience. 
You blinked and reoriented yourself, focusing on the hairs that fanned across Bucky’s face. “Of course I am,” you lied. “But my answer is still the same. I’m going on my date and you are not going on my date.” 
He groaned, apparently giving up as he cradled your legs closer to him to lean over and grab the remote from the coffee table. He flipped the channel to ESPN—typical—and you ate your sandwich, silently cursing him. He had a TV in his room. 
“When is it?” he suddenly asked, breaking the silence that had knitted itself into a comfortable blanket over the room. 
“Tonight,” you answered plainly. 
The arms atop your legs tensed. 
~~
The dichotomy of the man sitting beside you was impressive. On one hand, he was so full of himself that he had missed almost all of your conversation starters due to being so transfixed by his reflection in the rink’s glass. He had yet to ask you a single question about yourself and had insisted that the four other girls skating tonight were in love with him. 
On the other hand, he was, quite possibly, the most uninteresting person you had ever met. You were usually very quick to laugh, but every word out of his mouth was almost painful. He wouldn’t stop talking about his ex-girlfriend, gave you one word answers about anything other than baseball, and was honestly really terribly at ice skating. You were no pro either, but you found yourself on your back every time he tried holding your hand.
The tumble five minutes ago had you seeking out the penalty box on the side of the rink. You needed a break, you had told him, hoping he would continue on making a fool of himself and give you a moment alone. But he followed you instead, and was now sitting beside you, talking about baseball.
You supposed that was better than making you fall while talking about baseball.
“I bet we could do that,” he remarked, pointing out onto the ice and catching your attention. A couple who clearly had more experience than you was twirling each other around. “We definitely could. I pick up good speed.” You cringed. “I really don’t think we should try, Sean. My tailbone is already pretty bruised.” 
“Oh, c’mon! I won’t try the throwing part, just the twisty stuff.” 
“We are literally on rental skates. You will kill me,” you deadpanned. You were tired at this point and seriously questioning why you thought ice skating was a good first date idea. 
Well, there actually was an answer for that. But you were not going to think about the hockey player that popped into your head when Sean asked you on a date in the dining hall last week. 
Definitely not. 
“I’m not going to let my date think I’m boring,” Sean groaned, yanking you up from your seat. 
You gave a few tugs and words of resistance but they were ultimately useless. You figured it would be just as useless to tell the guy you already thought he was boring. He probably wouldn’t even hear you. 
On unsteady skates, Sean guided you to a mostly cleared corner of the rink and gripped your forearms. He squinted as he surveyed the area, the corner of his mouth turning up in a way that made your stomach roll. This entire date had been a bad idea.
“Maybe we should just watch them do it,” you tried, words wavering. 
“No!” he grinned. “No, we got this. It’s gonna look so cool.” 
And then you were spinning. You’d never been spun against your will before, but it sucked. Your skates kept getting stuck in the divots in the ice and the grip on your forearms was close to bruising. You were starting to get dizzy and Sean showed no signs of caring. God, he really was dragging you around the rink like a rag doll. Bucky was going to get a kick out of this.
“Okay, ready?” Sean called, an unwarranted jubilation in his tone. 
“What?” you yelled. 
He didn’t answer you. Instead, he let go, and you went flying in another direction without a clear path. It only lasted a moment, but the sound of your head smacking onto the ice signified the end of that movement. You landed on your arm next, and then your back. Again. 
This time felt different though. Your head was spinning and there were muted pinpricks trailing up to your wrist. The ache there was dulled compared to the biting iciness in your back, but as soon as you tried leaning on it to get up, it became sharp.
“Oh shit!” came Sean’s laughter-filled gasp. “My bad. I really didn’t mean to let go.” 
You blinked a few times to clear the blurriness from your vision but it proved unhelpful. “I think… I think my arm’s broken.” 
“Wait, seriously?” he asked, wobbling down to a seat beside you. 
“Yeah, it’s—”
“Everything okay over here?” a voice interrupted. You tried blinking again to take in the man that towered over the two of you, but the lights overhead washed him out. 
You recognized him…maybe? You felt like you were going to throw up. 
Sean answered for you. “Yeah, man, we’re fine. She just fell.” 
“Y/n, are you okay?” the man asked, ignoring your date completely.
“Do I know you?” you slurred.
You thought you heard a curse. “What made you think throwing her around was a good idea?” 
“Dude, it wasn’t even that fast. Or my fault. She just couldn’t keep her feet under her.” 
“Well, dude, maybe you should go home.” 
Sean scoffed. “Right, and who’s going to take this one home?” 
Your head was starting to hurt with all of the back and forth. The man that just joined, the taller one, kneeled down beside you. His blonde hair cast a harsh glare that had you squinting again. 
“You want me to call Bucky?” he asked.
Bucky? How would he know Bucky? Blonde hair began morphing into a man in your memory, and you reached for the material of his shirt, looping it between your fingers.
“Steve Rogers?” you mumbled. 
The man, now identified as Steve, sighed. “I’m calling him. Go home, Sean. Her roommate is coming to get her.” 
There was more discussion, something about Steve having the authority to kick him out and Sean not understanding what all of the fuss was about. Steve warned him about something and Sean scoffed as if the situation was beneath him. And then he left. 
Steve was then in your line of sight again, brows pinched together and a bright orange vest covering his shoulders. His hands hovered in front of you as if you’d break if he touched you and you almost found it funny. Steve was a huge guy with a lot of authority on Bucky’s team, but right now he looked like a scared animal. 
“Why are you dressed like a construction worker?” you asked. 
A small smile graced his face. “I’m working at the rink today. Everyone on the team has to take shifts during the holidays.” 
“Hmm,” you hummed. “I think my arm is broken.” 
“I know. I’m pretty sure you have a concussion too. Let’s get you off the ice, yeah?” 
You tried to nod, but that hurt too much so you let Steve assist you in shakily standing up. He guided you to the seats by the rental skate counter with a soft but sure hand on your back, asking some guy named Antonio for an ice pack. Everything around you felt like a fever dream. 
Gentle touches rolled the sleeve of your sweater back to reveal a swollen wrist that Steve immediately covered with an ice pack. 
He cursed again. “Well he’s gonna be pissed.” 
“Who?” Your head swayed with the question. 
Steve looked up to meet your gaze, lips parting to answer, when he was replaced by a different face. Your brain was having trouble keeping up with everything, obviously, because Bucky was in front of you now. He was kneeling between your legs with his hands on your face and you had no idea where Steve went. 
“What the fuck?” you blurted out. 
“Hey, y/n.” Bucky spoke your name low and soothing, his fingers moving to your eyes where he pried them open one at a time and looked for something you couldn’t see. His next words were directed over his shoulder. “Maybe a concussion. Tell me what happened again?” 
“Sean Marcus was being an ass. Flung her all over the place,” Steve replied. 
“Why are you here?” you interjected, trying to focus on one thing at a time. “I told you not to come on my date.” 
Bucky moved his assessment to your arm next, shifting the ice pack. “Never really agreed to those terms.” 
He turned back to Steve after that, having another discussion that you barely understood. Bucky absentmindedly fiddled with the material of your jeans as he spoke, and you put all of your energy into not face planting on the ground. This past week had truly been a series of terrible events with terrible men. 
After some amount of time elapsed, you were walking to the parking lot with a jacket thrown over your shoulders and Bucky continuously jutting a hand out each time you took a step. He was very well versed in concussions, apparently. 
“Okay, in you go, killer,” Bucky prompted, opening the passenger door. 
You eyed the front seat, scrunching your face up. “My arm hurts.” 
The man in front of you seemed to soften, his shoulders dropping on a long exhale. “I know, sweetheart. But we gotta go to the hospital to fix that. I’ll make sure it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
“I should just call Wanda. Or Nat. You don’t have to be the one to take me.” 
“I can take you just fine.”
“Why do you want to you? Aren’t you busy?” 
Another long sigh, this one accompanied by hands on your shoulders, fingers at the base of your neck. “Get in the car.”
His eyes were boring into yours, searching for something, or maybe already finding it there. You still had your arm cradled to your chest and you titled your head to the side as you observed him. There was something else to his gaze that you couldn’t quite describe. It reminded you of his expression after he came home from a rough game. Angry. Discontent. 
“You’re being weird,” you commented, breaking the silence you had created. 
“You broke your arm and smacked your head on the ice,” he simply replied, as if the statement was an explanation. 
“Yeah, but—” 
“And then that douchebag did nothing about it,” Bucky interrupted. “So please, y/n, get in the car so I can help you before I find him and kick his ass. Because you know I’m not above fighting people.” 
You blinked, and then slid into the front seat. 
The drive was quiet. You’d never been in Bucky’s car before, but the spinning in your head didn’t give you much space to inspect it too closely. You caught hockey gear in the back, a keycard to the rink dangling off the rearview mirror, and a small collection of hair ties in one of the cupholders. One caught your attention.
“Hey, this one’s mine.” You picked up the purple band and rolled it between your fingers. “Thief.” 
Bucky snatched it back. “Mine now.” 
He made a sharp turn that had you sucking air between your teeth and repositioning your arm. Bucky sent you a quick, achingly apologetic look. 
“Sorry, almost there.” A long beat of silence and then a mumbled, “I should keep your hair tie. You won’t be able to do your hair alone with a broken arm anyway.” 
~~
Your wrist was fractured, not broken. You also only had a minor concussion. This was all great news to you, especially since they told you after administering a hefty amount pain reliever. To Bucky, this was apparently terrible, life-altering news. 
After practically body slamming into the front door of your apartment, he chucked his wallet and keys down on the kitchen counter and began grumbling to himself as he opened and closed kitchen cabinets. You watched from a distance, half amused, half concerned for the rusting hinges. He finally found what he was looking for—a cup—and continued to mutter to himself as he filled it with gatorade. 
“Are you… okay?” you asked tentatively. 
Bucky ripped the freezer open and manhandled three to four ice cubes. “I’m fine. You are not.” 
“I’m okay now,” you assured. Bucky stalked over to you anyways, pressing the sports drink into your hand that was not wrapped in a cast.
You looked down at the glass and sent him a baffled look. He nodded at it and raised his brows, a silent demand for you to drink. 
“Okay. And why do I need to drink gatorade?” Your words were slow. 
“You were just on the ice and haven’t had any water for at least three hours.” 
“Bucky,” you began. “I was ice skating recreationally for about thirty minutes. I don’t need to replenish my electrolytes.” 
“Will you just… will you just drink the damn drink?” he groaned, gesturing to it with a firm hand. “Jesus, I can’t take care of you when you go and get yourself hurt by idiots. So just let me do what I know I can do, alright?” 
“You don’t have to take care of me.” You were beginning to raise your voice, matching some of the frustration in the room. 
Bucky threw his hands in the air, tugging at his roots on the way down. He moved further into the kitchen and leaned against the counter with stiff, rod-like arms propping him up. And then he sighed, long and profound as if this was the hardest conversation he’d had all year. His head hung heavy between stiff shoulders and you felt the environment shift. 
You almost wanted to intervene on his thoughts again, to make some comment about the dishes in the dishwasher or pretend you were going to go take a nap. But he had something to say, something you needed to hear, and so you stayed. You blinked and clenched your fist in the uncomfortable silence, but you stayed. 
“Y/n, I want to take care of you,” Bucky breathed out, words still directed toward the floor, almost too low to make out. “I’ve been tryna get you to see that for weeks now, but you’ve either got no clue or you want absolutely nothing to do with me.” 
You stopped blinking, stopped fidgeting, stopped breathing altogether. You watched as Bucky drummed his fingers against the counter and still refused to look up. You swallowed hard because you weren’t clueless, but also because you wanted everything to do with Bucky Barnes. 
And nothing at the same time. 
“Bucky…” you began, with a tone of surprise you weren’t sure was believable.
“Don’t do it yet,” he stopped you. “Don’t…don’t tell me no yet. I’m still pissed as hell that you got hurt and you shouldn’t be alone with a concussion. I don’t need you avoiding me when you can’t even drive a car.” 
“You’re being presumptuous.” 
He snapped his head up, his eyes rushing back and forth between your own. The drumming on the counter ceased, instead replaced by balled up fists turning white under days old cuts and fading bruises. He didn’t say anything. You searched the empty air for a reply. 
“I wouldn’t avoid you. I don’t know if I could avoid you—not anymore. You’re sort of a big part of my life now.” A good start, you thought. Not a real answer, but not a rejection. 
Bucky bit the inside of his cheek and eyed the drink still perspiring in your hand. You set it down at his observance, moving closer to his slumped posture in the kitchen. 
But Bucky stood up straight at your movement, becoming guarded, stiff. “I shouldn’t have said anything. Bad timing, just forget it. You should try and get some sleep.” 
“I don’t want to forget it,” you softly spoke, shaking your head.
He clenched his jaw. “And I don’t want to hear that you don’t feel the same way about me that I feel about you. Not right now. I feel like I’m going insane, watching you go out on dates and having my best friend tell me that my girl—that’s not really my girl—is all banged up on the ice because of some asshole.” 
You opened your mouth to speak, but Bucky kept going, now pacing in the kitchen. “I mean, y/n, you’re my everyday. I wake up and you’re making coffee. You text me in class to ask what I need at the grocery store and then I call you after practice to make sure you got back to the apartment. I think about you so god damn much and I can’t believe there was a time in my life that I didn’t get to end my day in a home that has you. And you’re just my roommate. You want nothing to do with athletes, I get it—” he added, catching your eye in the middle of his rant, “—but, shit, I haven’t even looked at another girl since… well it doesn’t even matter.”
“Tell me,” you whispered. There were a million other things you could’ve said, a million explanations that would have made sense. But the two soft words stopped Bucky from tracking holes in the ground. They shoved him from his shallow breaths and made him look at you. 
And, god, did he look at you. You must have been worse for wear. A hospital visit mixed with one too many tumbles onto solid ice probably had your hair in disarray and your face pressed with exhaustion, but his gaze was revering. Candy-coated red with soft blues melting below brows that fluxed with the movement of his lips; Bucky was beautiful, and he was looking at you as if you matched.
His tone confirmed as much, light and saccharin as he said, “That dumb movie a few weeks ago, the one about the superheroes. Your friends wouldn’t watch it with you so you made me. You were so excited even though it was awful and you were out like a light within the first hour. You rolled over onto me and I wasn’t gonna wake you up so I sorta just held you.” 
He paused, trailing his eyes up to the light fixtures. “At the risk of sounding pathetic, it felt like I had you, you know? Like we were going through all our usual motions, but after I annoyed the hell out of you and you told me off, you were mine. I can’t… I can’t really picture that with another girl.” 
There were very few times you had considered yourself speechless. But with Bucky Barnes standing in front of you, red-faced and vulnerable and still wearing the stupid hospital nametag they made him put on in the waiting room, you had no words. There was none of the arrogance you usually associated with him, no short-temper or pestering taunts. It was just Bucky, and he was pouring his heart onto the kitchen floor. For you. 
“You get why you can’t tell me no just yet?” he asked, trying to get something out of you. Anything. “You can break my heart, but let me just make sure you’re okay first. And I can’t beat the shit out of Sean if we aren’t on speaking terms.” 
The laugh that left you was one of disbelief, but the breathiness and accompanying tears fit the heaviness of the room. Your glossy eyes met Bucky’s and something flashed on his face, but it was soon out of your line of sight because you were kissing him. You were kissing him hard and your bodies were too close for the cast between you but it didn’t matter. 
He didn’t respond at first, hand hovering at your back. But then he did and the cold linoleum of the kitchen floor was gone from your bare feet. He sat you on the counter, so gently, as if you were glass, and you let your hand brush against the cracks and divots of your home. The one that Bucky came back to every night to see you. 
The one that had housed so many nights of confusion and longing and denial.
The one that had Bucky kissing the life out of you on the kitchen counter. 
He pulled away first, forehead pressed to yours. “Didn’t think I’d ever get to do that.” 
“You can do it again.” 
“Oh, I will, baby.” 
Laughter met in the air between you—sweet, short, intertwined. There was so much you wanted to tell him, so many instances like the one he shared before where you were left questioning boundaries and feelings and lines. But, you figured, there would be so many opportunities to tell him. So much time together. 
“I texted Wanda that night,” you shared, interrupting the kisses he was pressing to your cheek. “After I woke up and you had taken me back to my room.” 
He smiled against your skin. “What’d you say?” 
“I told her I was an idiot—that I was falling for the enemy.” 
Bucky ran a soft hand along the back of your head, a smirk lighting up his face. He was slotted between your legs and kept his other hand firmly pressed onto the kitchen counter, caging you in, making sure your arm didn’t hit the cabinets. 
“And is that true?” 
“I don’t know,” you hummed, connecting your foreheads once again, wanting to stay impossibly close. “Try to cure my broken bone with gatorade again and we’ll see.”
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saratinz · 1 year
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Fake It Like You Love Me
pairing ➩ Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
warnings ➩ angst, drinking, smut, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, daddy kink, praise, pet names (good girl, sweetheart, baby)
synopsis ➩ part three of 'Fuck Away the Pain'
word count ➩ 1.4k
a/n ➩ comment or dm me to be added to taglist.
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Never have you felt this safe, here, in the unlikely arms of Bucky. Even waking up with a raging headache and sore ass, you are peaceful. With your head on his chest, arms wrapped around him, you wake up in a surprisingly good mood. “Good morning beautiful.”
“Mmmmh, what time is it.”
“It’s 8:00, you wanna get up?”
“I don’t.”
“Well, let me get up so I can go to the gym.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I know a much better way to get your workout in.” You lean in, sucking on his neck, marking your territory. 
“Oh really? And what’s that sweetheart?”
“Get naked and you’ll find out.” Once you roll off him, he’s quick to follow orders, removing his shirt and sweatpants, along with his boxers. You admire his adonis-like figure, truly loving every bit of him. While getting on top of you, he causes a moan to slip out when he brushes your clit with his cock. 
“Doll, you’re squirming, are you in pain?” He smirks. “Yes, daddy.”
“Where does it hurt?”
“Down there.” He pushes back onto his knees, coming face to face with your glistening cunt.
“Here, let me kiss it better.” His lips leave a gentle peck on your clit. Then another. And now, he’s using his tongue, making your eyes go crossed. Bucky is eating your pussy like his life depends on it. Lying on your back, never having had so much fun. You’re seeking heaven in his grasp, almost reaching your high, but you’re soon disappointed. 
“Why’d you stop?”
“Awww, is my little baby needy, I have the cure for that too.” He grabs you by the waist, turning you onto your hands and knees. It’s like it’s his job to destroy you, switching from saccharine to dominant in a matter of seconds. “You gonna let daddy help you?”
“Yes, daddy, I need your help.” He responds with a quick thrust straight to your cervix. He’s so deep, so entwined, you can’t imagine a life without him. But no, you can’t think about that, not after what he did. No man who stands Y/n Y/l/n up gets a second chance. Except, isn’t that what you’re doing right now? No, this is strictly sex. The architecture of your relationship fell, all patience and respect completely diminished. Now, all that lies is a pile of anger and fucking. It doesn’t matter that there are feelings there, because you can never act on them. 
“Sweetheart, you okay?”
“Yeah, I feel so much better.” You refrain from telling him what’s really bothering you: the complicated love story of Bucky and Y/n. This is not a fairytale though, it’s not a rom-com. You two won’t get a happy ending, no, it’s too late for that. A particularly harsh thrust makes your thoughts disappear. The way his hips hit your ass is painfully delicious, the sting turns you on more than you’d like to admit. “Fuck, Bucky, I love you.”
“Can’t say those things baby, gonna give me hope.”
“Say it back.”
“I love you too.” You’re so close to the edge, you just need one last push. “Daddy loves you so fucking much, you’re the only one for me.” And that’s what sends you over, the praise and promise he makes. You know, in this moment, you have him wrapped around your finger, and that you always did. 
“Fill me up daddy, want you to cum inside. I’m your good girl right?”
“Yes you’re my perfect girl.” You never saw yourself doing this, letting the cocky superhero you hated do something so intimate. But here you are, with cum leaking out of you. “Fuck you’re so cute.”
“This can’t happen again. It was the last time.”
“I know, doll. If you need anything, I’m always here. Except when I’m on missions of course.” You just lie there, looking a hot mess, but Bucky fucking loves it. He loves you, every single part, imperfections and all. He knows he will never love anyone else, and he’s 100% certain that you’re the love of his life. He would literally do anything, just to have a second of your time, or a smidge of your affection. The sight of you brings him to heaven, and you are his angel. His unknowing savior. Because that’s exactly what you did; You saved him. You two reluctantly get dressed, wishing everything was simpler, and that you could spend the rest of your lives naked in bed together. It’s not even just about the sex, it’s about the emotional connection you share. But life is complicated, and no amount of love can completely repair a betrayal. It seems that you just weren’t meant to be together. You leave without saying ‘goodbye’, trying to accept that this was your last time together. 
While you make your way back to your room, Bucky heads to the gym. “Hey, Sam.”
“Oh god, I’m not talking to Y/n for you again.”
“It’s okay, we’re done. She broke it off this morning.”
“Wait, she was with you last night? She went to dinner? She seemed so sure of her decision. What changed her mind? How did it go? Why’d it end?”
“Woah, one question at a time. She didn’t change her mind, she changed mine.”
“What do you mean?”
“She umm, convinced me not to go.”
“But you love her, there’s no way you would skip dinner again, well, unless, eww Bucky why are you telling me this?”
“Cause you asked. Anyway, we had sex today, but she said it was the last time.”
“So she hasn’t forgiven you?”
“No, but she still loves me.”
“How can you be sure?” “Because she said it while I fucked her.”
“Wait, you’re telling me she dropped the l-bomb during intercourse, then left you?”
“Yes.”
“She’s using you for your body, and you’re letting her.”
“Well, yeah. And I’d let her do it over and over, I don’t care, I’ll take what I can get.”
“Buck, y’know that’s like unhealthy and fucked up, right?”
“Again, I simply don’t care.”
“This is a dangerous game you’re playing, and you’re going to get your heart broken.”
“I know.”
“I’m worried about you. Is she really worth it?”
“Yeah, I mean, we just work. We’re into all the same things, especially when it comes to sex. And she’s just so emotionally literate, it’s endearing.”
“So, uhh, what’s she like in bed?”
“Well last night she figured out that I like to be called ‘daddy’ and taunted me about it, so I, spanked her a little bit. Then we went to bed.”
“Ewww, daddy? And she liked that? You spanked her? Remind me to never ask about your sex life ever again, you all are animals. But in your defense, you are truly perfect together, both of you are into all that kinky shit.”
“I’m not good enough for her.”
“You deserve good things Bucky.”
“No, I don’t, not after all I’ve done. Not after all the pain I’ve caused.”
“Fine, go ahead, be miserable, I don’t know how to help you anymore. You can’t hate and punish yourself forever. You have to let yourself be okay.”
“Okay, I’ll try.”
“So what would happen if she came to your door tonight and, I don’t know, called you daddy and begged for your dick, what would you do?”
“I guess I’d have to turn her down.”
“You’re lying, aren’t you?”
“Have you seen her? Of course I’d sleep with her.”
“Oh boy, this is going to end badly.”
“Just, don’t mention this to anyone.”
“Fine.” 
It’s only been 12 hours since you saw Bucky last, but you feel like you’re dying. The compound’s bar is becoming your second home. You’re sipping on your vodka and cranberry juice concoction. You’re not gonna survive this break-up, you know that for a fact. Going back on your word is embarrassing, but when it comes to Bucky Barnes, you don’t care at all. He’s your heaven on Earth, your broken angel. Your unknowing savior, because he saved you too. You wouldn’t have gotten over Steve so fast had he rejected you. So you’re grateful, endlessly grateful, for everything he has done for you. And you know exactly how to repay him. Before you know it, you’re at his door, knocking as if you will die if you don’t get inside right now. “I need you.”
“What do you need?”
“I need your cock, daddy.”
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saratinz · 1 year
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Update
I started this blog thinking I would have one or two people read my stories, but over the past 12 days, I have posted 26 times, accumulated 110 followers, and wrote a fic that got 800 notes. I could not be more grateful to the marvel community for accepting, and enjoying, my work. If there is anything you want to see from me, feel free to send an ask or dm. Thank you to all my slays (I shall call my readers slays because that is my favorite word ever).
ABOUT WIPS
I am about halfway done with 'Fuck Away the Pain' part 3, and I hope to post it around midnight tonight (east coast).
I have lost my motivation for "Third Time's the Charm" so I have no idea when I am going to finish part 3. I will definitely finish it eventually, but there is a lack of engagement.
More song fics will be written including ones to 'Midnight Rain' and 'Vigilante Shit' by Taylor Swift, 'Wicked Game' by Chris Isaak, 'Cry' by Cigarettes After Sex, and a bunch of songs by Lana Del Rey
I also want to bring your visions to life, so request anything you wanna read.
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saratinz · 1 year
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When will you do the Third party of "fuck away the pain"?
I started it today, but didn't get very far... so probably tomorrow night, or monday.
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saratinz · 1 year
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Erase Him From Your Brain
pairing ➩ Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
warnings ➩ angst, drinking, smut, pure filth, spanking, daddy kink, dom/sub dynamics, degradation, praise, pet names (good girl, slut)
synopsis ➩ sequel to 'Fuck Away the Pain'
word count ➩ 1.4k
a/n ➩ to celebrate reaching 69 followers, I give you part 2. comment to be added to taglist.
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Your date with bucky is tonight, and you could not be more nervous. It’s weird, the fact that you’re about to have a romantic evening with the guy who you only had hatred towards two weeks ago. There’s a thin line between love and hate, and you two had crossed it. You have no idea what’s going to happen at this dinner. He picked a fancy restaurant, but no amount of money spent can make up for a lack of connection. And that’s your worst fear, realizing that even though your sexual chemistry is off the charts, your ideas of romance might clash. 
You went through hundreds of different outcomes in your head, but never did you expect this one to even be possible. “Ma’am, if he’s not gonna show up, I need you to give up the table.”
“Thank you for being so patient, he’s not coming. Here, let me give you, $20, for your time.”
“I’m so sorry about your boyfriend.”
“Appreciate it. Have a good evening.”
When you get back to the compound, you can’t stop the tears that flood your eyes. How could he do this to you? How could you fall for it, fall for him? Whatever shred of respect you had for him a month ago is gone. James Barnes is a no-good, very bad, wretched man, and no amount of charm will ever get him out of this hole he dug. You are done. Done with lies, done with assholes, and done with love. What even is love anyway? Seems like all it does is cause pain. Your thoughts race as you lie in your bed, wondering what the fuck you did wrong. You’ve felt this pain before, you know you can beat it, but everything feels so awful. You want this hurt to be gone. Why won’t it just go away? Why won’t he just go away? That’s your last thought before you drift off into a not-so-peaceful slumber.
You wake up to violent knocking, with your eyes puffy and pillow stained with makeup. “Y/n, it’s Bucky.” Fuck this, you roll over, figuring he’ll eventually go away. “I know you’re in there, F.R.I.D.A.Y confirmed for me.
“Fuck off James.”
“C’mon baby, just let me apologize.”
“Get away or I swear to god, I’ll make your life a living hell.”
“Just, I rescheduled our dinner for tonight, if you don’t come, I understand, but I’m giving you the option.”
“Hope you’re more embarrassed than you’ve ever been in your life.”
“I love you. ”
“Fuck you.”
“Okay, I’m leaving.” You scream into your pillow. The thought of going to dinner with Bucky makes you sick. It still crosses your mind though. No, you refuse to think about what could happen. Like how he could apologize, could be easy to talk to, could be your soulmate. Shut up brain. You do not want the guy who betrayed you, the guy who teased you to no end. You hope he’s in pain, and maybe that’s wrong, but it’s simply how you feel. 
You’re not usually a day-drinker, but this situation calls for it. You cradle your favorite drink, sipping it way faster than you should. You see a familiar face passing. “Hey Sam.”
“Hey Y/n. I need to talk to you.”
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s Bucky.”
“God, please don’t tell me he put you up to this.”
“He’s so sorry. He had a few drinks before dinner, he was so nervous, he wanted things to be perfect. He passed out from not sleeping or eating.”
“Here’s the thing, I don’t care what happened. I was scared too, but I showed up anyway.”
“He wanted me to give you this.” 
“Take it back to him, I don’t want it.”
“He said even if you didn’t open it, I have to force you to take the box.”
“Sam you’re really getting on my nerves.”
“Y/n, you want my honest opinion?”
“Go ahead.”
“He’s an asshole, you deserve better.”
“Then why are you doing this?”
“Because even though he sucks sometimes, he’s never cared about anyone half as much as he cares about you. He’s always had your back.”
“That’s what you do when your an Avenger.”
“No, I mean he literally begs people to check up on you, to look after you, hell, he convinced Steve to give you a chance.”
“I didn’t ask for him to do any of those things, and look how well my thing with Steve ended.”
“He cares more about you than he does his best friend, that’s what came between them. You’re special, he didn’t intentionally fuck this up, that’s just what you get when you fall in love with him. So please, for the love of god, take him back, so that I never have to do this again. I will pay you to go on this date. Name your price.”
“One million.”
“I was thinking more like $50.”
“I’m not going to dinner.”
“Just, don’t drink too much, okay?”
“I know. Goodbye Sam.”
“Bye.” Once he leaves, you get right back to self-medicating. The drinks start to taste less and less like alcohol. You know your limits, and you use that knowledge to drink as much as you can without blacking out. When you finally cut yourself off, you realize it’s time for dinner. But there’s no way you’re going. Even drunk you knows that’s a bad idea. 
Bucky clouds your mind, like the virus he is. How do you even explain your feelings toward him? He’s just, he won’t get out of your head. You kinda wanna go to dinner. Wait, what? No you don’t, let him be so embarrassed like you were. But he’s so hot, and good at sex. No, shut up brain. And you love him. Well, that you can’t deny. No matter what you tell yourself, that will always be true. Fuck it, fuck reasoning, you are going to stop him from going. You don’t want him in pain like you are. 
You practically sprint to his room, trying to catch him before he leaves. You run into him in the hallway with his room. “James, don’t do this.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s humiliating.”
“I don’t care.”
“Well, I do. I still love you, I don’t want you to go through with this.”
“There’s nothing you can do to stop me.” 
“Not even if I let you fuck me?” You put on your best pouty face.
“What?”
“Not even if I suck your dick?”
“Y/n, stop it.”
“Not even if I call you daddy?”
“How, how did you know I like that?”
“I didn’t, but I do now.”
“Shut up.”
“Guess you’re just gonna have to punish me, daddy.” All of a sudden, you’re pushed against the wall, caged in, and getting really turned on.
“You wanna be a brat? I’ll treat you like one.”
“Do your worst.” His lips are on yours in an instant, and it’s a filthy kiss, just tongue and teeth. You yelp as Bucky pulls away and throws you over his shoulder. Once you get inside his room, he walks to the bed and tosses you onto it. 
“Take your clothes off, underwear too.” You do as he said, feeling self-conscience under his dark gaze. “Good girl, now I’m gonna sit down, and you’re gonna lay across my legs.” Crawling onto his lap, you cry out as he smacks his hand across your ass. 
“What the fuck?” Another hit.
“You begged me to do this with your bad behavior. I can’t just let you get away with whatever. I’m gonna make you my obedient little slut, it’s time you learn a lesson or two. But if you feel uncomfortable, just say the word ‘red’ and I will stop.” Once again, you’re struck. “After every spank, I’m gonna need you to say ‘thank you, daddy’. You got that?”
“James, that’s humiliating.” He puts all of his strength into the next blow.
“That’s not my name princess, now what do you say?”
“Thank you, daddy.” You reluctantly mumble.
“I can’t hear you.”
“Thank you, daddy.” You scream.
“Good fucking girl. Now we’re gonna do that 20 more times.” 
When your punishment is finally over, your eyes are puffy and your face is soaked. “It’s over honey, you did so good.” He helps you straddle him, kissing your tears away. You lay your head on his shoulder, wishing this feeling will last forever. He lies down, maneuvering your limp body so that you can use his still clothed chest as a pillow. You’re super drowsy, from the alcohol and spanking, and before long, you fall into a deep slumber.
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saratinz · 1 year
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Fuck Away the Pain (Masterlist)
pairing ➩ Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
series warnings ➩ smut, angst, enemies to lovers,
synopsis ➩ Based off 'Fuck Away the Pain' by Divide The Day
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Fuck Away the Pain (April 12, 2023)
Erase Him From Your Brain (April 14, 2023)
Fake It Like You Love Me (April 16, 2023)
Show Me Where It Hurts (April 26, 2023)
Don't Have to be Ashamed (TBD)
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saratinz · 1 year
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Third Time's the Charm (Chapter 2)
pairing ➩ Matt Murdock x Reader (Modern AU)
series warnings ➩ addiction, depression, drugs, alcohol, smut, lots of swearing
chapter warnings ➩ cursing, smut, praise, unprotected sex, creampie, pet names (sweetheart, princess), break-up, angst
synopsis ➩ After the events of 'Fine China', Y/n struggles to fight her addiction to drugs, alcohol, and men. Said men being her two ex fiancees, who both left her on their wedding day. When she meets Matthew Murdock, she is immediately intrigued. Will she finally get her happy ending?
word count ➩ 1.7k
a/n ➩ comment your favorite color!
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“Morning princess.” 
“What time is it?”
“7:30”
“Mmmmh, good morning.” You respond to the naked man behind you.
“Want breakfast?”
“How do you look so pretty waking up?”
“Breakfast?”
“Fuck me.” You demand.
“What?”
“I want you inside of me, now.”
“Thought I taught you better.”
“Maybe I need to be disciplined.”
“Careful what you wish for.” You roll on top of him, taking him inside your aching hole, lazily bouncing your hips on his until his hands hold you still and he starts hammering into you. Moans and praises fly around the room, going in one of your ears and coming out the other. You are so high off everything Matt that you get close to forgetting your own name. This feeling of bliss you get while he fucks you is like nothing you’ve ever felt. You’ve had your fair share of great orgasms, but something about the way he pleasures you, makes you feel so special. Would it be bad to say that you are happy you got arrested? Probably, but the only thing you care about right now is the intense pleasure building up. “You gonna cum sweet girl? Go ahead, make a mess.” His words push you over the edge. He turned sleepy morning sex into a sport, and one that he would never lose at. It’s nice to be in his arms, coming down from your high. This part of you that has been broken so many times before, is suddenly repaired, just like that. There’s no more need for drugs now, you wanted to be sober for every moment with Matt. You were never the type to wear your heart on your sleeve, but he brought out this side of you, this side that risked everything, just to spend time with him. Just to please him. Just to love him. Pretty soon, he’s reaching his high and filling you up, but you’re still aching for his touch. Aching for his praise. Aching for his love. “C’mere sweetheart, it’s okay.” You didn’t even realize you were crying until he’s wiping your tears away. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”
“I know, I’m just, overwhelmed I guess.”
“What’s on your mind?”
“I just, I wanna be with you, because you make me feel good. You warm my heart, you caress my soul, and I’m getting really cheesy aren’t I?”
“I mean, I love cheese.”
“Of course you do, you just have to be perfect in every way.”
“I wish I could really see you, but I do this thing where I touch people’s faces, and it gives me an idea of what you look like. I’d love to do it, if you want.” You grab his hands, bringing them directly to your cheeks. He spends the next minute exploring every part of you, imperfections and all. But even the things you hate most about your appearance, he adores. “You’re so pretty.”
You blush at his words, “No, you.”
“You think I’m pretty?”
“The prettiest.”
“I know we met in a weird way, and that we’ve only known each other for a month, but I just know that I’m gonna fall in love with you.”
“Matthew Murdock, you cannot be saying these things, you don’t even know my middle name.”
“It’s Y/m/n.”
“Okay stalker, well I don’t know yours, so, point proven.”
“It’s Michael, point unproven.” 
“Wait this has to be a joke. Your name is Matthew Michael Murdock?”
“Yep.” 
“Your parents are so cool. Will I get to meet them?”
“Ummm, they’re dead.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay just, I really wish you could, they’d love you.”
“You don’t have to lie. I’m sure they’d much rather you date a nice girl.”
“Hey, you are a nice girl.”
“You know what I mean.”
“No, honestly I don’t”
“Like, I’m just not the girl you show off, I’m the one you blow off after sex, the fuck-able type, not the date-able type.”
“If you need me to show you how date-able you are, I can introduce you to my friends.”
“Really?”
“Yes, they’ll love you.”
“Okay, let’s do it.”
“Alright, I have to go to the office today, but meet us at Josie’s at 8:00. I’ll text you you address” The two of you exchanged numbers last night.
“Sounds perfect.”
“Goodbye, Y/n, I had a lot of fun.”
“Yeah, me too. Bye Matt.” When he leaves, you let out an audible sigh. There’s one thing you know for certain; Matt Murdock is going to be the death of you.
When six o’clock rolls around, you start getting ready. It takes an embarrassing amount of time to pick your outfit. It has to have personality, not too mild, but also not too out there. Something just classy enough, not too skimpy, but also not too modest. You go back to basics, picking a long sleeve black dress that stops above your knees, some black tights, black boots, and finally a blazer in your favorite color, for added flare and warmth. You do a natural makeup look consisting of concealer, mascara, and a little bit of blush. You finish off by straightening your hair. Before you know it, it’s 7:30, and you’re leaving, hoping to get there a little early. You’re super nervous, you want so badly to get their approval. Getting there with 15 minutes to spare, you take one last deep breath before entering the building. As you walk in, you spot Matt, who is facing away from you. He senses your presence and you make your way through the vacant bar. “Hi!” You greet him with a kiss on the cheek. 
“Foggy, Karen, this is Y/n. Y/n, these drunks are Foggy and Karen.”
“Hey you guys. It’s so nice to meet you.” 
“It’s nice to meet you.” Karen reaches her hand out to shake yours. 
Foggy, clearly already drunk asks, “Hey do I know you? You look soooo familiar.”
“Umm, I don’t think so. My last name is Y/l/n, I was engaged to Steve Rogers, and then to Bucky Barnes.”
“Oh my god I know who you are. Matt, how’d you pull an Avengers groupie?”
“Foggy.” Matt scolds.
“Oh sorry, Y/n, it just sounds like you’ve got a type.”
“Yeah, well, dating a normal guy is nice. I mean, my type hasn’t gotten me that far.”
“Wait, does she not know?”
“Know what?”
“She knows about my heightened senses.” It seems like there’s something unspoken being said, but you have embarrassing secrets you haven’t told him, so you let it go.
“Hey, I’m ordering drinks. Want anything, Y/n?” Karen asks.
“Umm, no thank you.”
“C’mon it’s on me. Oh god, please don’t tell me you’re pregnant, already.”
“Karen!” Matt scolds again.
“No, but close. I’m actually an alcoholic.” Everyone’s head turns toward you. “Oh, was that an overshare? Shit.”
“No sweetheart, you’re fine.”
“Sweetheart? She has really got you whipped.”
Karen comes back with more drinks, trying to salvage this conversation. “How’d you guys meet anyway?”
“Matt was my lawyer.”
“You’re a criminal?”
“Just possession. Yeah, on top of the whole alcoholism stuff, I am also an ex-junkie. Kind of a double whammy. I’m one month sober though, thanks to this guy.” Matt’s friends exchange glances.
“When did you start dating?”
“Well, we went on our first date yesterday.”
“Wow, so this is like, fresh.”
“Yeah, he hasn’t gotten sick of me yet. And usually guys wait until our wedding day to leave me.”
“I’ve always wondered what happened, how does that end up happening twice?”
“Sorry he’s really drunk.” 
“It’s okay. I went to high school with Bucky, and we stayed friends after he got the serum and became an Avenger. I met Steve, who he had already been married before. I fell for him, hard, but he cheated on me with his ex wife, and got her pregnant.”
“Yikes.”
“Yeah. I stayed though, and was gonna become a wife and step-mom. But when Peggy went into labour on our wedding day, he left me for her. That was the first time I had gotten my heart broken. Bucky was there for me, and drugs were helping too. I fell in love with him and taking pills, blah blah blah. Got engaged. He broke it off because he found out about my drug problem, also on the day we were supposed to get married. So, then my addiction to pills evolved to also include coke, and I got caught with it, twice. The second time was last month, and when me and Matt met.”
“Listen, I’m not trying to be a dickhead, but Matt can’t help you. He goes through enough on his own, he doesn’t need your shit too.”
“Okay let’s talk about someone else.”
“No, I wanna talk about the jump from perfect Karen, to crazy Elektra, to coke-head Y/n. Matt do you just like hate yourself or something?” Tears prick your eyes, you’re not typically this sensitive, but something about the topic stung. You get up to leave, Matt following close behind you. 
“Y/n, wait.”
“You said they’d like me Matt.”
“They will, they’re just assholes when they’re drunk.”
“I want to believe you, but I can’t.”
“I’ll talk to them, we can figure something out.”
“I can’t do this anymore, Matt.”
“Wait, what?”
“I’m not going to stay and feel like shit, and I’m not gonna be a wedge in your friendship. You deserve better.”
“I love you.”
“Matt, it’s been a day.”
“I know, just, I’ve never fallen for someone like you.”
“A cokehead?”
“Someone who’s broken but stays good anyway.”
“That’s where you're wrong, I’m not good, Matt. Not for you, not for anyone. Just let me be alone.” You start to walk away, but it just all feels wrong. You turn around, running to give him one last kiss. “I love you too, but it’s over, we're done.” With your final words spoken, you walk off into the night.
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saratinz · 1 year
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I am really into writing right now, and I want to make sure I'm putting out content that you all enjoy.
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saratinz · 1 year
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Third Time's the Charm (Chapter 1)
pairing ➩ Matt Murdock x Reader (Modern AU)
series warnings ➩ addiction, depression, drugs, alcohol, smut, lots of swearing
chapter warnings ➩ cursing, smut, oral (f receiving), edging, overstimulation, degradation, praise, unprotected sex, creampie, pet names (sweetheart)
synopsis ➩ After the events of 'Fine China', Y/n struggles to fight her addiction to drugs, alcohol, and men. Said men being her two ex fiancees, who both left her on their wedding day. When she meets Matthew Murdock, she is immediately intrigued. Will she finally get her happy ending?
word count ➩ 1.4k
a/n ➩ I know the au is a little confusing, you just have to embrace it. also, comment or message me to get added to taglist.
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Now that you’re on probation, you need to find a new passion. While scrolling through hobbies online, you hear a knock at your door. At the entrance, you come face to face with him. ”Matt?”
“I’m on my lunch break, you wanna go to Starbucks?”
“Let me get dressed.” You rush into your bedroom, trying to find the best outfit for a first date. You settle on your favorite jeans and sweater combo. In five minutes, you are ready to go. “The closest one is three blocks away, if you wanna walk.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“So, how did you find my apartment?”
“With my special lawyer superpowers.”
“You literally just Googled it didn’t you?”
“Yep.”
“Ugh, being Steve’s ex sucks.”
“How did you even meet him? I mean he’s like a famous superhero.”
“I went to high school with his best friend, who as you may know, is my other ex-fiancée.”
“You sure know how to pick ‘em.”
“I wonder how I got so lucky.”
“Well, maybe your curse is over.”
“So you wouldn’t leave me on the day of our wedding?”
“I would be lucky to marry someone like you.”
“Wow, you really know how to make a girl feel special.”
“It’s my special lawyer superpowers again.”
“So after Starbucks, maybe I can show you my special junkie superpowers.”
“What do those do?”
“I guess you’ll have to stick around and find out. Here we are.” The two of you order your drinks and the workers swiftly make them for you. “So, I have to ask, how do you know I’m attractive?”
“I know because I, and this is gonna sound silly, but my senses are heightened, so I hear the raising of heartbeats, the turning of heads, and I don’t even need those to fall in love with your personality.”
“Oh so you’re into the bitchy addict type.”
“I’m into the tortured soul, I’ve been through some traumatic shit, so finding someone who understands, it just gives me comfort.”
“That’s a little fucked up.”
“That was a little intense for a first date wasn’t it?”
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, think of it as our third date.”
“I see where you’re going with this, our first date was when I met you in jail, but what was our second?”
“The court hearing silly goose. You were super romantic that day, defending my honor like my blind knight in shining armor.”
“You really had to throw in the ‘blind’ part didn’t you?”
“I couldn’t resist.”
“Of course not. You’re only human.”
“I only have one question about being blind.”
“Oh boy.”
“Can a blind man find the clit?”
“Out of every dumb question, you had to pick that one?”
“I’ve literally been thinking about it since the day we met.”
“Well, I guess you’ll just have to stick around and find out.” He mimics your words from earlier. “Wait, how the hell are you already done with your drink.”
“I’m a fast drinker.”
“I guess so.”
“Hey, I know this is only our first real date, but I really like you, and I’d like to show just how much.”
“Oh really?” He’s got the hottest smirk you’ve ever seen. The two of you have unmatched chemistry, way more than you ever had with Steve, or Bucky, as a matter of fact. The walk home is pleasant, the banter is fun, and the two of you genuinely enjoy each other’s company. 
“Well, here we are.” You break the comfortable silence. His lips are quick to run to yours. There’s so much fiery passion in this embrace, you don’t want to do anything else in your life, well, except for one thing. “Mr. Murdock, are you trying to get me on my knees for you?”
“No.” 
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to make things weird.”
“No, I mean, I said no because I am trying to get on my knees for you.”
“Holy shit.” You pull him inside your cramped apartment, leading him straight to your queen bed. “Hopefully you’re good at this, would suck if I fell for someone who can’t get me off.”
“Shut up, get on the bed.” You’re kinda stunned by his sudden dominance, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on. You’re quick to lie down on your back. “Good girl.” The throb of your clit is palpable. He follows you, getting on his knees between your parted legs. He reaches for the button and zipper of your jeans, quickly undoing them and pulling them and your underwear all the way off. “Now, if at any point you can’t take it say ‘red’, and I will stop.”
“Okay. Wait, what are you planning on doing?”
“Gonna fix that bratty little mouth of yours.” Without warning, he dives right in, licking your clit with a level of expertise you didn’t know was possible. 
“Fuck, Matt!” He just continues to lap at your clit as he inserts a finger in your sopping wet cunt. Your right hand moves to his hair, and he adds another digit. It’s only a minute till you feel your orgasm start to build, and it is so euphoric, that is until Matt is pulling off and out of you. “Why’d you stop?” You cry out.
“I told you, I need to teach you not to run your mouth so much.” You gasp as he returns to his previous actions. And again, when you are just about to release, he removes himself. This son of a bitch continues to do this for the next five minutes, edging you over and over. 
“Please, will you just let me cum?” He responds by putting every fiber of his being into your pleasure. He sucks so hard on your clit that you think it may leave a hickey, and you don’t even know if that is possible. You feel tears flooding your face and you’re so close to cumming you prepare for him to pull away, but instead, he’s giving you the strongest orgasm of your life. 
“Now, are you gonna let me fuck you?”
“Whatever you want Matt, I’m yours.” The two of you remove the rest of your clothing, and spend a silent minute admiring and caressing each other’s figure. Unsurprisingly, he has a big dick, he just exudes that energy. His tip is an angry red, just begging to be inside you. And in a matter of seconds, he is.
“Fuck, your pussy is so tight around me.” He retreats, then shoves himself all the way to your cervix. He hits spots that you didn’t even know existed, and your stomach is set aflame.
“Can I cum?”
“Yes.” As soon as he says it, you’re squeezing him like a vice, and cumming all over him. 
“Please Matt, cum inside me.” You beg as tears prick your eyes from overstimulation. He pushes into you one last time, spilling his seed into you. You both come down from your climax, experiencing jubilation of the highest degree. 
“Let me run you a bath.”
“Only if you get in with me.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Wait, how did you know I have a bath?”
“Now that’s my special blind superpowers.”
“Right.” He pulls out of you, so that he can get off the bed and pick up your limp body that still has cum leaking out of it. Somehow, he manages to navigate through all of your clutter, and he sets you down on the side of your tub, turning on the faucet and blocking the drain. “Wait, do you have to go back to work?”
“I texted my partner, he said he could handle things at the office.”
“Great, now I can spend the whole rest of the day annoying you. This is going to be fun.” And it is, the time spent in the bath is sweet and sensual, and after that, you two cuddle on your couch, watching, well, Matt was listening, season one of your favorite tv show. You fall asleep in his arms, and he carries you to bed, in a half awake state. “Thank you for today.”
“Goodnight, sweetheart.”
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saratinz · 1 year
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Maneater (Chapter 9)
pairing ➩ Ex!Bucky Barnes x Promiscuous!Reader (College AU)
series warnings ➩ drinking, asshole!Bucky, enemies to lovers, exes to lovers, love triangle, smut, slut shaming, cursing
chapter warnings ➩ cursing, implied smut, hospital setting, reader does some embarrassing stuff, reader was drugged (nothing happened), pet names, making out, pda
synopsis ➩ Y/n finally admits her feelings.
word count ➩ 1.1k
a/n ➩ as a little gift from me to you, I give you the finale two hours early.
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“Hey, sleepyhead.” You wake up groggy. “The police are asking to speak with you later.” Great. You start to wonder what the fuck you did last night to end up wanted by pigs and in a hospital gown. And what the fuck is Bucky doing here by your side, acting like the two of you are in love or something?
All of a sudden, memories start flooding back. You’re overwhelmed by the onslaught of hazy conversations. Oh yeah, Bucky being here makes a lot more sense when you remember you found him after being drugged by Jane. And it turns out the worst thing that could have happened, did indeed happen. “Oh god, James.” He cringes at the use of his first name.
“It’s Bucky.”
“Bucky, please tell me that I didn’t tell you I love you.”
“Drunk words are sober thoughts.”
“Buck I wasn’t drunk, I was roofied, I would’ve told Steve that I loved him.”
“But you didn’t, you told me.”
“Steve was here?”
“Yeah, and you told him to his face that you love me.”
“What did he say?”
“He, umm, still hasn’t changed if you’re asking what I think you’re asking.”
“Oh.”
“You dodged a bullet there. He has no empathy. Told me the only reason he came was to have sex with you again.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing. After all, I don’t deserve shit.”
“Y/n, I wasn’t serious when I said that.”
“Call Steve for me, please.” It’s mere seconds before Bucky is pulling out his phone and finding Steve’s contact. He puts the phone on speaker, hoping that he will say something awful about you, and you'll finally realize his roommate isn't the one for you.
“Hey Steve, Y/n is asking for you.”
“Perfect, I’m actually on my way there already.”
“Wait, what?”
“I wanted to see her.”
“But what about last night?”
“You really want me to say it?”
“Yes.”
“You were right, I want a chance to be with her.”
“Okay.” He hangs up, surprising himself with the amount of jealousy that is festering in his body. It courses through his veins. He turns back to look at you. 
“Jam- Bucky I hope you understand, I just don’t love you. It’s just the truth. And it’s okay, because you don’t love me either.”
“How do you know I don’t love you?”
“Because you don’t leave someone you secretly want to be with.”
“Please, you have to stop bringing that up.”
“You broke me.”
“I left you because I didn’t think I deserved you.”
“But you got with my best friend within weeks.”
“I’m sorry, okay?”
“You don’t get to do this, you don’t get to come into my life, only to leave me again.”
“I’m not gonna leave you.”
“You said that last time, too.”
“I mean it this time.”
“Why should I believe you?”
“You shouldn’t, but I don’t think I will be okay if I lose you again.”
“Say it.”
“Say what?”
“SAY IT!”
“I love you, Y/n. I never stopped, I didn’t break because of Natasha, I broke because I had to watch as you became me.”
“Get out Bucky.” Tears flow steady down your face. He leaves without another word. Five minutes later, Steve walks in your room. You try your best to wipe your tears, but they’re still falling down your face. 
“Hey Y/n, what’s wrong?”
“Just Bucky, he’s an ass.”
“What did he say?”
“He’s just, he’s like a pathological liar or something.”
“I’m not following.”
“He uhh, he told me that he loves me.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, and I know I said it last night but I was high as a kite. I didn’t mean it.”
“You sure?”
“Yes Steve, I’m not over you. Can I please show you that I’m more than just my reputation?”
“No, you can’t.”
“Oh, okay. Can I ask why?”
“Because I’m a shit person, and a shit friend, but even I wouldn’t get between the two of you.”
“There is no ‘us’. I don’t even like him.”
“Maybe you don’t like him, but deep down you love him.”
“How many times do I have to tell you? I fucking hate him.”
“Who’s the first person you think about when you wake up? Who’s the last person on your mind when you fall asleep? Who can you not ever seem to forget, no matter how hard you try? Who haunts your dreams? Who can get under your skin so fast he should earn a Guinness World Record?”
“I, uh, what do I do now?”
“I saw him in the gift shop, he’s probably there picking out a meaningful apology gift.” He suggests, snarky as ever.
“Thank you Steve.” You get out of bed and walk out of the room, still attached to your IV pole. You roll it to the elevator, impatiently pressing the button over and over again, despite knowing it won’t go any faster. Shit someone is coming, please close. You decide to be a good person and hold the door open, even though you just wanna get to Bucky. The stranger beside you presses the second floor button, damn it. It doesn’t take that long to get to the bottom, but you’re just so nervous it feels much longer. You head over to the gift shop, but you don’t see him. You wanna cry this is so embarrassing rolling around this big ass cart.
You’re about to give up, but then you spot him about to leave the hospital. He’s a step away from the door. Without thinking, you scream. “Bucky!” You feel eyeballs on you, suddenly, you feel very conscious of your attire. You thank god he heard you, so that you only have to go through a little bit of awkwardness. You run to him, almost tripping multiple times. When you finally come face to face with him, you forget everything you were planning to say. “I love you too.” You finally blurt out. He looks a little shocked, but then a big smirk starts to form. He lunges forward, pressing your front to his. You felt a little weird about making out in public, but his lips are so delectable you can’t stop. You finally come up for air, putting your forehead against his. You hope this feeling will last forever, for you're not sure what you would do without Bucky. You would have been tricked by Steve, or there would have been a video of you getting naked on the internet. But worst of all, you wouldn’t be in love. You pull his face towards yours to whisper in his ear. “Let’s go to my room.”
“Yes ma’am.” 
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saratinz · 1 year
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Third Time's the Charm (Prologue)
pairing ➩ Matt Murdock x Reader (Modern AU)
series warnings ➩ addiction, depression, drugs, alcohol, smut, lots of swearing
chapter warnings ➩ arrest, addiction, drugs, angst
synopsis ➩ After the events of 'Fine China', Y/n struggles to fight her addiction to drugs, alcohol, and men. Said men being her two ex fiancees, who both left her on their wedding day. When she meets Matthew Murdock, she is immediately intrigued. Will she finally get her happy ending?
word count ➩ 450
a/n ➩ I know the au is a little confusing, you just have to embrace it. also, comment or message me to get added to taglist.
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Oh, how the not-so-mighty have fallen. After your two failed engagements, and two failed rehab visits, and an arrest, you’ve found your new best friend in coke. But nothing good will last forever. “You can’t arrest me again bitch.” Despite your attempts at stopping the policeman, he continues to cuff you.
“Y/n Y/l/n, you’re under arrest for possession of an illegal substance. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me.” You stay silent the whole way to the station. And when you get there, you refuse to talk until they get you a lawyer. Within the hour, you’re meeting the hottest defense attorney you have ever seen.
“Hello Mrs. Y/l/n, my name is Matthew Murdock, and I have been appointed as your lawyer.” He hears your heart beat faster as he reaches his hand out to shake yours.
“You’re that blind guy who defends innocent people. What the hell are you doing here with me, a dirtbag junkie?”
“As I said, I was appointed, but if you want the complete truth,” You nod, completely forgetting about his lack of eyesight. “I pity you. I turned your case down when you were arrested for the first time a few months ago, and then I did a little research. I found out about your exes, and how they both left you on your wedding day.”
“Way to rub salt on that wound.”
“I tried to figure out what was wrong with you, but all I found was a young woman who got mistreated and used by assholes. I can get you out of jail time, but you’ll be on probation, and you need to get clean. I know you have it in you, though.”
“You forgot the word ‘beautiful’.”
“What?”
“I’m a beautiful young woman.”
“Of course, how could I forget?” The two of you share a moment.
“Do you wanna maybe, get coffee with me?”
“That’s extremely inappropriate, you’re my client.”
“Hey policeman, this guy sucks I want a new lawyer.” You yell.
“Shh, just let me get your charges down, then we’ll get all the coffee you could ever want.”
“Promise?”
“Yes.” He did exactly what he said he would. A month later, you plead guilty and agree to be on probation for six months and do a hundred hours of community service.
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saratinz · 1 year
Text
Third Time's the Charm (Masterlist)
pairing ➩ Matt Murdock x Reader (Modern AU)
series warnings ➩ addiction, depression, drugs, alcohol, smut
synopsis ➩ After the events of 'Fine China', Y/n struggles to fight her addiction to drugs, alcohol, and men. Said men being her two ex fiancees, who both left her on their wedding day. When she meets Matthew Murdock, she is immediately intrigued. Will she finally get her happy ending?
a/n ➩ I know the au is a little confusing, you just have to embrace it
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Fine China (optional read) (April 9, 2023)
Prologue (April 12, 2023)
Chapter 1 (April 13, 2023)
Chapter 2 (April 14, 2023)
Chapter 3 (TBD)
Chapter 4 (TBD)
Chapter 5 (TBD)
Chapter 6 (TBD)
Chapter 7 (TBD)
Chapter 8 (TBD)
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saratinz · 1 year
Text
Fuck Away the Pain
pairing ➩ Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
warnings ➩ break-up, enemies to lovers, smut, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, pet names
synopsis ➩ Based off 'Fuck Away the Pain' by Divide The Day
word count ➩ 1.5k
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You think your life is done he took it all with him
You hate Bucky Barnes. But right now, you hate Steve Rogers, your cheating asshole of a boyfriend turned someone you have to live with, even more. James may get under your skin, but the two of you have a mutual respect for each other. There’s an understanding that even though you fight, there has to be some level of reverence for the sake of missions. 
So you drink enough for it to wash away the sin
You sit at the bar in the basement of the Avengers compound, and self-medicate your sadness with your favorite hard liquor. Bucky takes a seat next to you, but you’re too pissed off at your ex to care.
“Hey sweetheart.”
“Hey.”
“What, no comeback?”
“Not in the mood for this right now.” You get up to leave, but he stops you with his hand on your wrist.
“What’s wrong?”
Such a shitty thing he did, the way he said goodbye
 “It’s Steve, he left me for Sharon, who he was cheating on me with. He’s such a liar, fucking telling me that he loves me. I hate that bastard.”
“Oh, sorry that happened.”
“C’mon, where’s the James I know? Tell me that I should have seen it coming.”
“I didn’t either, I thought he was changing.”
“Nope, guess he fooled both of us.”
“Hey, what time is it?”
“11:48.”
“I have an idea.”
“What is it?”
“Do you trust me?”
“Not really.”
“Do you want to make him feel the way you do?”
“Yeah?”
“Come with me then.” You follow him to the elevator and then to the outside of his room. 
“What are we doing here?”
“Kiss me.”
“What?”
“Just trust me. I know that’s hard for you to do but..” He’s cut off by your lips on his. Frankly, you were just shutting him up, not really wanting to argue with him today. He grabs the back of your thighs and hoists you onto his hips as his tongue enters your mouth. The kiss is sloppy, and you bite his lip in retaliation for him pushing your back against the wall. You feel a little bit self-conscious with your legs spread in just a dress, but damn, it’s easy to ignore it with the way that he is devouring you.
The two of are in such a state of bliss that you don’t hear the door beside his open. 
“I, uhh,” Steve awkwardly mumbles as Bucky immediately lets you down, “she likes it when you choke her.” He gets on the elevator without another word. Once you are in the clear, you two start laugh maniacally. And when you run out of breath, you open his door, inviting yourself in.
“What’s next?” You ask inquisitively as he closes and locks the door behind him, letting out a residual chuckle. You investigate his room, after all you’ve never seen it.
“Umm, I don’t know. We could pretend to have sex.”
Feeling emboldened by your liquid courage, you walk over to him, and standing a foot away you take off your dress, revealing that the only thing you have on under is a lacy thong. Bucky’s eyes widen. “Why pretend?”
You can take it out on me if you like
 “You really wanna do this?”
“Take your clothes off, James.” Never one to deny an order, he strips down to his boxers. You move to caress his abs, relishing in the sensuality of it all. 
“You like what you see?”
“Stop talking.”
Fuck away the pain, erase him from your brain
You move on top of him, lining his dick up with your aching cunt. “Fuck.” He groans as you sink down onto his cock. You start to move, setting a merciless pace. You move up and down, putting your hands on his chest to hold yourself up. “Good fucking girl, using me like a sex toy.” You tighten around him at the praise. “Oh, you like it when I call you a good girl?” You nod, and he commits that to memory so that he has something new to tease you about.
Fake it like you love me, Come on baby touch me
“Do whatever you need to get off, tonight is all about you.” 
Show me where it hurts, this dirty little curse
“Do you want me to choke you, baby?”
“Yes!” he brings a hand to your throat, constricting your airway and making you a moaning mess. 
Don't have to be ashamed if you wanna scream my name
“Bucky, I’m so close. Please?”
“Are you asking for permission? Fuck that’s hot.”
“Please! Can I cum?”
“God yes.”
While I fuck away the pain
  With one final thrust, he is cumming into your cunt. You collapse on top of him, exhausted from the mind-blowing sex you just had. You don’t even have to try to fall asleep, you just do. When you wake up, Bucky’s gone, but as you get dressed to go on your walk of shame, you hear him in the room next to you. 
You hate the way he fooled around behind your back
“You cheated on her, you have no right to judge her.”
“She knows who she belongs to.”
“She is not yours.”
A slave to him but now with me, no strings attached
“Ha, she will always be mine, no matter what she says. She’ll be begging me to take her back within the next month, guaranteed.” Fucking asshole.
“She’s not an object you own, Steve.”
“You just have to see the bigger picture, Buck, she will never want you.’
“No, she won’t, but I’ll be there for her anyway.”
“She’s using you to get to me.”
But if you wanna use me up and leave me in the bed
“I don’t care if she uses me. I have always been in love with her and I will take whatever crumbs of affection I can get.”
“No one actually loves her. She’s only good for sex.” You are so close to running over there to rip his head off, but it seems as though Bucky beats you to the punch, literally. You hear them fighting, and you take that as your opportunity to get the fuck out and process what you just heard from your enemy. 
If that's what you need go right ahead
You have a few hours to yourself, and you spend it binging your favorite show for the 5th time. You hear a knock at your door and pause your show. As soon as you see it’s Bucky, you pounce on him, not letting him say even one word before you’re making out. “I’ve had a weird day.”
“Me too, sweetheart.” You notice the shiner on his left eye.
“Hey, what happened to your face?”
“Steve.” He keeps his response short.
“That sucks, I’m the only person who’s allowed to ruin your pretty face.”
“You think I’m pretty?”
“Come in.”
Fuck away the pain, erase him from your brain
“It’s your turn Bucky, use me. Tonight, I’m your sex doll.”
“I’m not sure you wanna do that.”
“Try me.”
Fake it like you love me, Come on baby touch me
“Fuck.” You’re cumming for the fourth time tonight. He’s been between you’re legs for the last twenty minutes, and he’s not slowing down. “I can’t, I want you inside me.” You’re crying from the overstimulation. 
“One more baby, then I’ll fuck you. Be a good girl and cum for me.” In a matter of minutes, he’s bringing you over the edge once more.
Show me where it hurts, this dirty little curse
He’s fucking you from behind, hands planted firmly on your hips, doing it with reckless abandon.
Don't have to be ashamed if you wanna scream my name
You feel so good all you can do is let out incoherent mumbles.
While I fuck away the pain
  You completely forget about Steve, hell, you forget your own name while you’re fucked into oblivion. 
Stronger than a shot of whiskey or any pill you take
  It’s been a week, and you’ve spent every night with Bucky. Coping is easy when it consists of sex. Maybe it’s not healthy, but nothing you crave ever is.
Fuck away the pain, erase him from your brain
You find yourself below Bucky, again.
Fake it like you love me, Come on baby touch me,
You wrap your legs around him to pull him impossibly closer.
Show me where it hurts, this dirty little curse
“Cream my cock, sweetheart.” Bucky demands, 
Don't have to be ashamed if you wanna scream my name
“BUCKY!” You scream, cumming as you’re impaled on his dick, completely out of it. “I love you, too.” You cry out.
While I fuck away the pain.
You snuggle into his chest, and he brushes his fingers through your hair. “Did you really mean it?” He finally addresses the elephant in the room. 
“I, umm, heard you talking to Steve, when you told him you love me. And I guess while we had sex, I just realized that I feel the same way. Then it just kinda, slipped out.”
“This is probably not the appropriate time, but, do you maybe want to get dinner with me sometime?”
“I’d love to.” 
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saratinz · 1 year
Text
Maneater (Chapter 8)
pairing ➩ Ex!Bucky Barnes x Promiscuous!Reader (College AU)
series warnings ➩ drinking, asshole!Bucky, enemies to lovers, exes to lovers, love triangle, smut, slut shaming, cursing
chapter warnings ➩ cursing, slut shaming, mentions sex, reader is roofied (nothing bad happens)
synopsis ➩ Y/n goes to the hospital.
word count ➩ 1k
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Peter stays silent for a while, digesting everything you just told him. “Hey, you wanna go to a party.”
“You really want to go after what happened last night.”
“I mean, yeah. We spent all this time talking about me, it’s time to do something for you.”
“Well, sure.” The two of you hung out for hours, becoming the most unlikely of friends. You went more in depth about what has unfolded in the last week, and he told you about his crush on a girl named MJ.
“Hey, we should call ourselves ‘the freshie and the whore’. And there should be a book written about us.”
“I don’t love that name, Y/n.”
“It’s okay, we can workshop it.” The two of you have now gotten to the party. 
“Hey Y/n.” It’s the third to last person you want to see, besides Bucky and Steve.
“Hi, Jane.” You say, trying to dial back the awkwardness.
“I just wanted to say that, I forgive you. We all make mistakes, and even though you made a really big one, I can’t hold that against you forever. So here’s a peace offering.” She hands you a drink. You look for Peter, but when you don’t see him, you figure he ran off to avoid this strange interaction. You take a sip.
“Okay, thank you for understanding, I know what I did was super shitty. And I know it was really hard for you, so I really appreciate this.” You take another sip. Not wanting to ruin this, you walk away, quickly downing the whole drink to deal with whatever the fuck just happened. 
You start to feel super dizzy, but there’s no way you could be drunk. Your brain feels like it’s on fire, despite the fact that you are getting really cold. Your thoughts moving so fast that you are never able to retain a single thought for more than a couple of seconds. Oh shit. You were drugged. Jane roofied you.
You are desperately trying to find someone, anyone, who you knew would never take advantage of you. That’s when you spot him. Bucky is standing alone in a corner, with a drink in hand. You stumble over to him, hoping to get there before you inevitably pass out. “Bucky!” You flash a dopey smile.
“Hey sweetheart, you alright?” You wrap your arms around his neck
“Nope.” He looks concerned.
“What’s wrong?”
“I was drugged.” You slur your words.
“Wait, what?”
You giggle. “Yeah I need to go hospital.”
“Shit!” He groans as you faint in his arms. He hurriedly picks you up bridal style, and walks with you all the way to his car. He doesn’t care that he’s speeding because you are the most important thing right now. When you get to the hospital, he stays by your side every step of the way. He doesn’t know who you want to wake up to, he just knows it’s not him. He calls Steve, figuring he’s one step above the guy who broke you, twice.
“Steve, hey, Y/n’s in the hospital.”
“What’s wrong?”
“She was roofied, but I don’t want her to wake up to find the guy she hates is the only one with her. Please come.”
“Are you dumb? She hates me too.”
“No Steve, she thinks you’re an asshole, but she has real feelings for you. And it would be really nice if you were here for her. Don’t you want a chance to be with her again?”
“Fine, I’m coming.”
“Alright I’ll text you the room number. Bye.”
“See you soon.” He hangs up
“Mmmmm.” You groan. 
“Hey, doll, you awake?” 
“Can you hold me?” 
“Sure.” He stands up from his chair to take his shoes off. Scooting you a little bit to the left, he gets in bed with you. You hum as his arms envelope you in their warmth.
“Mmmm, Bucky.” He melts at the use of his nickname. When you fall asleep again, he carefully removes himself from the cramped twin bed. It takes 30 minutes for Steve to get to the hospital, and that makes Bucky furious. 
“What the fuck took you so long?”
“I had to do some shit, okay?” That is not the answer Bucky was going for, and he smells alcohol on the blonde’s breath, but he drops it. “Why do you care so much about her anyway? She’s never gonna do anything else for you.”
“Shut the fuck up, you asshole. She’s a good girl.”
“Yeah, in bed.”
“You came to have a chance with her, right?”
“Maybe to sleep with her again.” He shrugs.
“You remember I dated her, right? She cares. You’d be lucky to be with her.”
“What? Are you in love with her or something?”
“No!” He startles you awake
“Bucky?” You ask, still out of it. He gestures at Steve to take over.
“It’s Steve, actually.”
“Oh, hi Steve.” You give him a slight smile, your eyes still closed.
“Hey, are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah, y’know what sucks though?”
“What’s that?”
“When the person you love hates you.”
“I don’t hate you, Y/n.”
“I wasn’t talking about you.” The room falls silent. “Can you get Bucky?”
“You love Bucky?”
“Shhh, don’t tell him.”
“She’s all yours, Buck. I’m done with her bullshit. Waste of my fucking time.” He storms out.
“It’s okay honey, I’m right here. He’s just tired.”
“Okay. Wait did you hear all that?”
“Umm, yeah.”
“Whoops.”
“Do you need anything?”
“Just, I have one question.”
“What is it, doll?”
“That night we had sex, you convinced me Steve was this great thing I was just throwing away for nothing, but you knew he was using me. I guess I've just been wonder why you said those things.”
“I didn’t know how to tell you, I just knew I needed to stop you from seeing him. So I tried to scare you away, and I know how bad that sounds. I just, I couldn’t break your heart again.” His eyes well up, and he grabs your hand. “But I will never lie to you again, I promise.”
“Pinky swear?” He lets out an adorable laugh.
“Yes, hun, I pinky swear.”
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