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fridayfirefly · 3 years

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A Guardian in Gotham

Read A Guardian in Gotham on AO3

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Written for Maribat March Day 19 - Guardian

Note: In this AU Master Fu gave out the Ladybug Miraculous to Marinette and the Black Cat Miraculous to Adrien before consulting the Kwami. Marinette turned out to be a true holder, but for the Black Cat Miraculous, not the Ladybug Miraculous. However, she and Adrien made it work and were able to defeat Hawkmoth anyway. After Hawkmoth's defeat she becomes Lady Noire full-time.

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Being the Guardian of the Miraculous was hard work. There were no family vacations, no sleeping in or going to bed early, no breaks. Marinette could not relax until Hawkmoth was defeated. Which explained why it was such a jarring change once the Miraculous Team defeated Hawkmoth.

Gabriel Agreste was behind bars. The citizens of Paris were free from the threat of akumatization. Tikki, Plagg, and the rest of the Kwamis went dormant in order to restore the damage done to Duusu's Miraculous. Marinette didn't exactly know what to do with herself. Suddenly it hit her that she was no longer the middle schooler who accepted the burden of Guardianship. She was in her final year of high school, nearly an adult. All around her, her friends were making future plans. Adrien was taking a gap year to help Emilie recover from her coma. Alya was accepted to a prestigious journalism program. Nino was DJing at one of the best clubs in Paris. Luka was releasing his EP. Kagami was training for the Olympics. Chloé took up an internship with her mother.

Marinette couldn't move on, the way all of her friends were able to. Marinette couldn't be a normal girl anymore. She couldn't go to university, start a family, live a normal life. She needed the rush of adrenaline that came from two little words - Spots on! or more recently, Claws out!

It was around this time that the Temple of Guardian got in touch with Marinette, offering her an opportunity to continue her work as a Guardian of the Miraculous. They send Marinette a box of old journals, dating back to the 18th century. The journals detailed the discovery of twin "wells of evil" located in the American cities of Gotham and Metropolis, then named Mortham City. The Masters of the Miraculous who made this discovery studied the evil and expressed the desire to find a way to remove it, but didn't have the chance to complete the task before the Temple of Guardians fell. When the Temple reappeared they believed that the Masters had managed to destroy the evil in Mortham, due to the reports of the city's recovery and renaming to Metropolis soon after, but were unable to destroy the evil in Gotham. The city festered, growing more and more troubled while Metropolis flourished. Marinette's task was to do her best to study and remove the evil in Gotham.

Marinette applied to Gotham University, feeling relieved that she might finally find her purpose.

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Marinette's dorm room at Gotham University was rather lackluster; it was the typical tiny, cramped American university dorm, complete with a stained carpet and a bathroom shared between six girls. Her roommate was a computer science major named Barbara Gordon. Barbara was older than Marinette, a senior while Marinette was only a freshman. It was a fluke accident that the freshman dorms had filled up before she was admitted. Secretly Marinette wished that she had been able to room with another freshman. Barbara was rarely in the dorm room, too busy with her coursework and her real friends to make small talk with her nervous roommate.

Marinette barely spent any time in her dorm room, either. She spent most of her time in class or at the library studying. Marinette had the ambitious plan of double majoring in both fashion and business, in order to start her own fashion company someday. Her classes overwhelmed her, and Marinette began to regret overloading her first-semester schedule. It gave her barely any time to work on her Guardian work, let alone join an extracurricular.

Marinette wanted to decorate the dorm and make it more of a home, but because of a plane delay, she ended up arriving at the university the day before classes started, giving her no time at all to go to the store and buy anything. Another unfortunate casualty of Marinette's late arrival was that she still hadn't figured out how Gotham's bus schedule worked, so she walked everywhere, even in the pouring rain.

Overall, Marinette's first week of classes was miserable. That was why Marinette was crying in her dorm room, alone, at six in the evening on a Friday night. It all started when Marinette saw a picture of her old class on social media. Alya and Nino were making faces at the camera; Marinette and Adrien were both grinning, Marinette's blue scarf wrapped around his neck; Ivan and Mylène were holding hands, staring into each other's eyes; Rose was posing, kissing Juleka's cheek; Alix was perched on Kim's shoulders; Nathaniel had his arm wrapped around Marc's shoulders; Max was holding up Markov so he could wave to the camera, Sabrina and Chloé were smiling, holding hands.

The photo had been taken years ago, on their first day of lycée. Marinette remembered it well. They had all been nervous about starting at a new school. There was no guarantee that they would all be in the same class. Max had calculated the odds for even half of their class staying together and it wasn't good. But that morning, when Marinette walked into her homeroom and saw all of her friends sitting there, she knew that it would be okay. Chloé revealed that she had gotten her father to provide a generous donation to the school to keep them all in the same class for the rest of their education. Marinette had been so happy to get to stay with her friends. Now she was on a different continent from them.

The tears started to fall, slowly at first, then more and more until Marinette was sobbing, face pressed into a pillow. How could she have made such a stupid decision? All of her friends were in France and she left them, all because she couldn't move on.

Two knocks on the door halted Marinette's sobs. "Babs? Are you in here?"

Marinette got up and opened the door, revealing a young man. He looked to be her age, tall, with black hair and blue eyes. "Barbara isn't here right now," she told the man.

The man blinked, looking at Marinette like she wasn't what he expected at all. "I guess I should have called her before I showed up. I'm Tim, by the way. I was just here to drop this off." Tim held up a container filled with chocolate chip cookies.

"I'm Marinette. If you want, you can drop the cookies off on her desk. I'll tell Barbara that they're from you, once she comes back to the dorm." Marinette wiped her eyes with her shirt sleeve, trying to get rid of the evidence of her crying.

"Are you okay?" asked Tim.

"Oh, I'm fine. Just a little homesick. Nothing to worry about."

"You should come with me to get dinner," offered Tim. "I was just about to stop in at the dining hall."

Marinette shook her head. "I wouldn't want to impose."

"It wouldn't be an imposition at all. I hate eating alone."

Marinette gave him a wary look. "I don't know you. Why would you invite me to eat with you?"

Tim shrugged. "You look like you could use some company, to take your mind off of your homesickness. Unless you want to spend the rest of your night crying in your dorm."

Marinette bit her lip as she thought it over. It would be nice to get out of the dorm and get something to eat. On the other hand, Tim was a complete stranger whose intentions Marinette still didn't trust. Then Marinette remembered the photo of her friends and made up her mind. If she couldn't have her old friends here in Gotham she would have to make new ones. "Alright. Just give me a few minutes to get ready."

Marinette threw on a pair of jeans, a Gotham University hoodie, and her sturdiest pair of sneakers.

"So what's on the menu tonight?" asked Marinette as they walked out of the dorm building to Tim's car.

"Uncertain. I can't remember the last time the dining hall actually updating its online menu. I was planning on crossing my fingers and hoping that they would be serving something edible tonight."

Marinette wrinkled her nose. "Is the food usually edible?"

"It's hit or miss. If you want, we could go to a diner instead?"

Marinette nodded. "I don't want to spend my weekend with food poisoning."

"Good choice." Tim turned the car around and started driving into the center of Gotham.

"Are you a senior like Barbara?" asked Marinette.

Tim shook his head. "I'm a sophomore. How about you?"

"Freshman. This is actually my first Friday in Gotham."

"Where are you from?" asked Tim.

"Paris, 21st arrondissement."

"That must be a pretty big change. What made you choose Gotham?"

Marinette shrugged, not wanting to give away her real reason. "I figured all the supervillains and Rogues might remind me of home."

Tim looked confused for a second before a realization passed over him. "I forgot about Hawkmoth. It was a big deal here in Gotham when he first emerged because the Mayor of Paris refused to allow the Justice League to intervene. All because he was worried about 'damaging the historic buildings of Paris'."

Marinette let out a bitter laugh. "That wasn't the real reason, you know. I was friends with Andre Bourgeois's daughter, Chloé. She says that he didn't want the Justice League to get involved in the fight against Hawkmoth because he couldn't merchandise any of the Justice League members. Ladybug, Chat Noir, and the rest of the Miraculous Team, on the other hand, never copyrighted their images. Paris used the Miraculous Team to bring in billions in tourism and Bourgeois never paid them a cent."

Tim looked surprised. "You sound like you know a lot about the Miraculous Team."

"I got to know them all pretty well. My classmates were known throughout Paris as the 'Children of Hawkmoth' - as if it was our fault that Hawkmoth targeted my school at a rate astronomically higher than the rest of the city. Of course, when it turned out that Gabriel Agreste's son was one of my classmates the nickname got a bit more personal."

Tim let out a break. "I suppose moving to Gotham makes sense when you've spent that much time in proximity to superheroes and supervillains."

"Gotham is an improvement to Paris under Hawkmoth. At least none one your Rogues can mind control." Marinette shuddered at the memory of her friends and loved ones turning against her due to Hawkmoth's influence.

Tim pulled into the diner parking lot. The pair got a booth in the back and put in their orders. Tim and Marinette spent the night trading stories of the most interesting Parisian akumas and Gotham Rogues.

Tim was enraptured. He told Marinette that for years it had been difficult for outsiders to get any reliable information about the Miraculous Team, outside of what Andre Bourgeois used for his tourism campaign. So Marinette did her best to share all the little details that every Parisian knew like the back of their hand: That Valentines Day was the worst holiday because all of the akumas were love-based. That they were trained in school to either lock their emotions down or let them all out, if they saw an akuma, to try and diminish the akuma's power. That Ladybug and Chat Noir, once they realized that their fanbase was primarily children, made it a point to never swear during their battles.

By the end of the night, Tim and Marinette made plans to meet up the following day. Tim promised to take Marinette out into the city for the shopping trip that her delayed flight caused her to miss. Marinette went to bed that night hopeful for her future in Gotham, a feeling she never thought she would have again.

----------

Over the next few weeks, things got better at Gotham University. Marinette started spending more time out of her dorm room with Tim, and eventually, with her roommate Babs and Tim's brother (and Bab's boyfriend) Dick. Tim became Marinette's lifesaver after he taught Marinette how Gotham's bus system worked. Marinette finally got around to decorating her side of the room. Her new style and color scheme (navy blue and sunflower yellow, Gotham University school colors) suited her much better than the pinks and whites of her high school days. Her productivity increased as she settled into the school, and Marinette found that she actually enjoyed her classes. It wasn't perfect, but Gotham University began to feel a bit more like home.

Most importantly, Marinette had begun to make progress on her work as a guardian. It had taken a whole weekend, but she eventually located the epicenter of Gotham's evil, a rundown tenement building in the heart of Crime Alley. The basement of the building housed storage units, one of which Marinette promptly rented. She set up her workshop there, bringing out the Miraculous Box so that she could consult the Kwami. Tikki and Plagg both woke up from their hibernation and Marinette got to work.

"I can sense the evil," spoke Tikki. "It's overpowering."

"It's like going from the Sahara Desert straight to the middle of the ocean," added Plagg.

"It does feel similar to drowning," Tikki agreed.

"Do either of you have any idea how to get rid of it?" asked Marinette.

Tikki shrugged. "I wish I could tell you how to defeat it, but it's unlike any enemy the Kwami of your Miracle Box have ever gone up against before. But look on the bright side, we know that it can be eliminating. I can only assume that the Kwami were involved when the evil was eliminated in Metropolis."

"The solution is easy. We cataclysm the evil," said Plagg.

"We don't know what would happen if we use cataclysm against something that isn't fully corporeal."

"Then we use Sass's second chance until we get it right."

Tikki brightened up. "Oh, that is a good idea - using second chance, not using cataclysm irresponsibly."

"See! I do have good ideas sometimes. We could also use Pollen's venom to freeze the evil in place and stop it from fighting back."

Marinette could listen to her two favorite Kwami argue forever. She had missed them terribly. But she had a job to do, so she interrupted their banter. "Do you think I should use Mullo to wield multiple Miraculous?"

Tikki shook her head. "You'll need at least one other person with you. If you get hurt, someone else will have to use second chance."

Marinette pondered that fact. "Luka's going on tour next month. He's stopping in Gotham for a weekend. Chloé is only an hour drive from Gotham, up in New York City, so she could be here any time. If we plan everything right, we could have the evil destroyed before the semester is over."

Once again, Tikki shot down Marinette's plan. "This is too strong for Luka's second chance or Chloé's venom. If you want to do this right you'll need to use true holders."

Marinette winced. Finding the true holder of a Miraculous was a near-impossible task. Of her entire Miraculous Team, only Marinette and Adrien were true holders. While the Kwami could sense a person's aptitude, they needed to be within fifty feet to get an accurate read. There was no way Marinette would be able to find the true holder of both Sass and Pollen. "Okay, new plan. What if I get Mullo to multiply myself and then have each copy of me take a different Miraculous?"

Marinette brainstormed with the two Kwami for hours, desperate to find a solution to the problem that had plagued Gotham for centuries. However, they still couldn't come up with a plan in which Marinette would be able to rid Gotham of the evil without enlisting the help of at least one other true holder. In the end, Marinette decided to take Tikki, Plagg, Sass, and Pollen back to the dorm with her, hoping that they might stumble upon another true holder.

"I wish we had a better plan," sighed Marinette.

"Keep your head up, Marinette. The only thing we can do now is stay positive and hope for the best," advised Tikki.

It wasn't a good plan, passively waiting for someone to solve her problem for her, but it was the only plan they had. Marinette had no other choice. If she tried to take on the evil alone, it would overpower her. It was disheartening. Marinette rode the bus back to her dorm. The streets of Gotham felt colder on the return trip.

Getting dinner with Tim was the only thing that could cheer Marinette up, so she pulled out her phone and sent him an invitation to meet up.

Marinette: Do you want to go get dinner? I heard the dining hall has vegetarian lasagne

Tim: Sure! Be there in twenty

Marinette put her phone away as she got off the bus and started walking towards the dining hall, dodging the sidewalk puddles that never seemed to dry. Even when it wasn't raining, Gotham was a dreary city.

Tim and Marinette chatted about their classes as they ate their food. By the end of dinner, Marinette felt a little better about her disappointing day. Tim could always lift her out of a bad mood. Marinette considered it his superpower.

"I'll see you tomorrow," said Marinette as she got out of Tim's car in front of her dorm hall. She expected to get to her room without incident, but as soon as she got into the relative privacy of the stairwell, all four of her Kwami were circling around her head, speaking in rapid succession, too quick for Marinette to keep up.

"I can't believe it!"

"You've got some luck, Pigtails!"

"This is great news!"

"I can't wait to meet him!"

Marinette blinked as she tried to make sense of the Kwamis' words. "What's going on?"

Pollen's eyes were bright. "Tim is my true holder!" the Kwami squeaked excitedly.

Marinette gasped. "Really?"

"He'll make a perfect Bee. He seems so smart and funny and considerate. I bet he'll feed me loads of honey and get fresh flowers for all of his rooms and be my best friend." Pollen sighed dreamily, pure joy in her voice.

"Pollen, have you ever had a true holder before?" asked Marinette.

"Of course. It's been a long time, though - at least a thousand years since my last true holder died. I missed it a lot. But now I have Tim!"

Marinette smiled, overjoyed that she finally had the means to complete her mission, that Pollen finally got to meet one of her true holders again, that Gotham might be freed from the evil that had loomed over it for centuries. Mostly, she was overjoyed that she met Tim all those weeks ago, that he took the time to get to know her, that he was there for her when no one else was.

----------

"So the Kwami are little gods?" Tim stared at Pollen with an almost scary intensity, as if he thought looking away might make the Kwami disappear.

Pollen flew up closer to Tim to explain. "The Kwami are linked to certain aspects of humanity: creation, destruction, intuition, protection, et cetera. We have a certain amount of control over these qualities. I am the Kwami of Subjection, of control and mastery. I can give you the power to incapacitate your enemies."

"Incapacitate them how?"

"Using the power of venom, you will be able to freeze your enemies in place."

Tim wrinkled his nose. "That sounds a little morality dubious. How do you know I wouldn't use it for evil. This is Gotham."

Pollen rolled her eyes. "You're my true holder, Tim Drake. I trust you with my entire being."

"What does that mean, for me to be your true holder?"

Pollen's cheerful expression turned sad. "Of all the Kwami, my powers are the most often exploited. The power of subjection, of complete and total control over your enemies, is corrupting. However, you, Tim, are my true holder. Your self-control is strong, I can sense it. You will not be corrupted by the power I give you. You will wield it fairly."

Tim glanced over at Marinette, and she gave him her most encouraging smile. "I need you, Tim. I've needed you for a while. First, as a friend, when I was at my lowest, and now as my partner. There's an evil that resides in this city, that I have been tasked with destroying. I can't get rid of it alone. I need you to help me."

Tim's eyes widened. "You mean there's a supernatural reason for Gotham's condition?"

Marinette nodded. "There's a well of evil underneath the city. Using the Miraculous, I can remove it. But it's too powerful for me to do it alone. I know this is a lot to ask, but-"

Tim interrupted Marinette before she could finish her sentence. "You know, Gotham is well known for its distaste for magic-users and meta-humans." Marinette opened her mouth to protest but was interrupted once more by Tim. "However, I trust that you want to do what's best for this city. I'll help you."

Marinette's face brightened. "Thank you! I have a plan but I still need to fine-tune the details. I'll get back to you as soon as possible. For now, you should take the Bee Comb with you. You'll need to form an emotional bond with Pollen before you can achieve peak performance."

"You seem to know a lot about the Miraculous and the Kwami."

"It's my job to be knowledgable. I'm a Guardian of the Miraculous."

----------

"So how does a girl like you become a Guardian of the Miraculous?" asked Tim as they ate their lunch in the storage unit after a long morning of pouring over plans.

"I was chosen by the previous master. It's a long-standing tradition that the Guardian can only be a true holder, because true holders notoriously incorruptible except in the most extreme situations. I was the only true holder that Master Fu knew of, other than himself, so despite my age and despite the fact that I wielded the Ladybug Miraculous rather than the Black Cat Miraculous, the Miraculous I was the true holder for, he passed the responsibility onto me."

"How old were you when you became the Guardian full-time?"

Marinette tensed her shoulders. "I was fourteen. Master Fu wanted to wait longer, but there was a situation. I lost my only mentor, with only a fraction of my training completed."

"That sounds rough," Tim's tone was sympathetic. He placed his hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

"It was difficult," Marinette admitted. "For the longest time, I was mad at Master Fu for waiting so long to start training me. It wasn't until I got older that I realized why he was so reluctant to start my training. He felt guilty for stealing my childhood away from me. The situation in Paris was bad and tough choices had to be made. I don't blame him, but there are a lot of things I wish had been done differently."

"I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost my mentor-" Tim's thoughtful tone turned frantic. "Not that my experience with mentorship would compare to yours, because I wouldn't know anything about being a teenage superhero."

Tim's words were suspicious, but Marinette didn't have time to figure out what he was hiding. They had a job to do. "Well, it's time to get back to work. You need to practice using venom on non-corporeal objects. I want to see if you're able to freeze the wind."

"Sounds good, Bugs."

"Bugs?"

Tim nodded. "I figured you could use a nickname. Do you not like it?"

"No, it's fine." Marinette paused. "Actually, it's better than fine. I really appreciate it. Thank you, Tim."

"No problem, Buggsy," Tim teased.

"Okay, now you're pushing your luck," Marinette teased right back.

----------

Lady Noire and her partner Yellowjacket stood in the basement of a rundown tenement building in the heart of Crime Alley.

Lady Noire spoke the plan aloud, the rhythm of her words revealing that she had spoken them many times before in preparation for the event. "I'll start by drawing out the evil. As soon as it senses the power of destruction that I hold it will try and consume me. I need you to be ready to use your venom the moment it emerges. Once it is frozen, I will use cataclysm. Are you ready?"

Yellowjacket responded. "I'm ready."

Lady Noire closed her eyes and let out her breath in a drawn-out hiss. The shadows around her darkened and she let out a pained gasp as she fell to her knees.

Yellowjacket sprung into action. "Venom!" he shouted, thrusting his palms out to let his power fill the room. The whole room lit up with yellow light, bright enough to rid the room of all but the supernatural shadows.

The shadows, which had been growing exponentially, suddenly stopped dead in their tracks. Lady Noire got back up onto her feet, a vicious snarl on her face. "You have been terrorizing this city for centuries. No longer will I will allow this evil to haunt Gotham. Cataclysm!"

The shadows crumbled, leaving behind only natural darkness. The transformation disappeared from Lady Noire, leaving behind a girl, who gasped for breath. "Tim, we did it!"

"Pollen, buzz off," commanded Yellowjacket. He was so impatient to hug the girl that he had his arms wrapped around her before his transformation was finished. "It's over, Marinette."

The girl shook her head gently. "It's not completely over. The effects will surely linger - Metropolis still sees its fair share of villains - but it will be nothing like what it was before. I imagine the vigilantes that roam Gotham will have a much easier job, though."

The boy tensed up. "Speaking of the vigilantes that roam Gotham, I suppose there's something that I should probably tell you. I'm Red Robin."

The girl blinked once, a dumbstruck expression on her face then burst out into peals of laughter. "Just my silly luck that I ask a vigilante to be my superhero partner."

The boy grinned. "I am rather fond of your silly luck. It's what brought us together."

@maribatmarch-2k21

#maribat #timari #timinette #marinette dupain-cheng #tim drake #MaribatMarch2021 #miraculous ladybug fic #my work

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dilfdoctordoom · 3 years

Note

I've been compiling my thoughts on your response to my initial message about Babs' disability, because like you said it's a pretty complex issue(also I had no idea until now that the ask system ceased to limit one's message length!):

I've seen folks point out how it's come off as 'unrealistic' to them that Babs remained in a wheelchair pre-N52 when she lived in a universe filled with crazily advanced tech(I don't wanna include magic too since that somehow seems like more of a copout to me), with some of that actively applied to certain characters, like Cyborg. I mean, I remember the one issue of BOP where Babs gets her walking back temporarily & she's ecstatic about it, so what *is* stopping her? I've sometimes wondered why Wonder Woman doesn't lend the use of the "Purple Healing Ray" to Babs, since IIRC they were friends during her Oracle days? I've seen people suggest maybe because it could shorten human lifespans while curing ailments/injuries, though Idk if it's ever been explained that way in canon, while I also don't know for sure if Wonder Woman has shared it with Man's World for that same purpose. I gotta read more DC comics to catch up.

I don't usually ponder this side of the topic heavily because like how I just suggested, there is likely a number of valid workarounds to these sorts of questions, because what really mattered was the profound message it sent to readers seeing Babs become Oracle. Personally, the only big reason I think about this now is because I originally knew Babs best from the DCAU, so seeing the events of TKJ play out for Babs always seemed particularly rough to me =P I get that it's Moore's writing style, ala Watchmen, but jeez that's Barbara Gordon!(It's weird to think how if that comic wasn't written or at least made canon, where would Babs have ended up? She'd given up being Batgirl at that point after all) What if it was further down the in-universe timeline when Babs would get a hold of a recovery method, like the Batman Beyond period? It might be more expected that med-tech would advance enough for that, since we also get skycars and a Batsuit that can do basically anything. Would that be any different? I'm mostly just letting my thoughts wander.

Going under the cut for this.

Barbara Gordon is a fictional character. Barbara Gordon has no real autonomy; she does not have wants or desires. Any thoughts or feelings she does have are given to her by writers and artists that work on her character. It's critical to establish that first -- Babs is an excellent character, but she is still just a character.

I remember the one issue of BOP where Babs gets her walking back temporarily & she's ecstatic about it, so what *is* stopping her?

A better question: why does she need to get her walking back? We've had about a decade that proves it certainly doesn't help her character. Babs doesn't exist and when writers erase her disability 'because she's happier', the message for disabled people is this: being disabled = unhappiness. Everything done with this character has an intent behind it. There is a message to all these stories.

There was a message to Oracle. There was a message to Barbara fuckin' Gordon coming back from fridging (I've seen the debate on if TKJ was fridging -- it was, by definition. 'The killing, assault or maiming of a female character to forward a man's pain', that was what happened to Babs and the intent of the story was to fridge her). There was a message to her staying disabled and be an active, respected and beloved hero.

And like there are messages there, there are also messages in erasing that disability. Asking 'what's stopping her [from not being disabled]?' is missing the point entirely. Comparing her to Cyborg is also... very much not okay. I believe I mentioned it before in the last ask on the topic, but disabled people are not a monolith and Victor Stone is also disabled.

What's stopping her? According to DC, absolutely nothing... and we've all seen how ableist that story is. There is absolutely no reason that we can't have a disabled superhero. Out of universe reasons don't apply. That's something I want to stress: you cannot apply the reasons of a real person onto a fictional character to justify ableism.

Another important thing to note, that often gets cast aside: if it weren't for Oracle appearing in Suicide Squad, Barbara Gordon would've been forgotten. Like, let's be real -- DC's reaction to the character being shot and maimed was, verbatim, "shoot the bitch". Babs was going to fade away into obscurity. The only reason Babs didn't is that Ostrander and Co refused to let it happen. I know people love to stress how important Barbara was as Batgirl before TKJ happened... she was not important in the eyes of DC. To them, she had had her time and what happened in the TKJ, and the subsequent lapse in her appearances afterwards, were all more than acceptable.

Where would Babs have ended up? Comics limbo, if she was lucky. A cautionary tale. An eternally tragic figure. The list goes on and never goes anywhere good.

#q & a #tw ableism

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dibs4ever · 3 years

Text

Gone

Barbara stared at the test in her hands ”Crap” she mumbled to herself, she bit her lip. The past couple days she’d been feeling uneasy and then counted up her days and realized she was late. So while her husband was at work she decided to take a test without him knowing.

He always wanted 3 kids

She was comfortable with one.

So they settled on a median of 2, which she was thankful for because she wouldnt trade their daughter for anything.

“Looks like you got your way Boy Wonder.” She sighed leaning back against the bathtub from where she sat on the master bathroom floor.

There was a tiny knock at the door “Mama?” Came the voice of her first born

“I’ll be out in a second sweetie, is your sister awake?” She questioned through the door

He replied a second later “No, she’s sleeping. Mama are you okay?”

Barbara smiled. He was so kind, she couldn’t ask for a sweeter little boy. Next week he would be 3.

Her eyes widened as realization dawned on her.

She had a 3 year old and a 4 month old.

She was pregnant again, how far along she didn’t yet know but she couldn’t imagine she was too far along

How would she ever be Batgirl again? She’d just gotten back into the rhythm of the business after their daughter

Taking a deep breath she stood and hid the test before stepping out

“Mommy!” Her son smiled, his bright blue eyes gleaming up at her

Barbara grinned and scooped up the young boy “Hello sweetness” she kissed his cheek “Wanna go make lunch before the baby wakes up?”

Nathan nodded “Yes mommy” he hugged her neck “I love you mommy.”

Barbara smiled as she carried him to the kitchen. Perhaps having a third Grayson baby wasn’t so bad. After all they did make really cute kids.

A few days later Barbara was prepared to tell Dick the news

That was until Joker took over the city, using mind control turning thousands of people into mind controlled goons.

It was bad. They weren’t just in Gotham. They were in Star City, Central City and now Bludhaven.

A phone call came from Dick- who was currently working as Nightwing.

He called her on her personal phone. Something never done before “Babs, We need you. The goons are everywhere, the family is all out fighting.” She heard a grunt her heart skipping a beat till his voice returned several seconds later “Hide the kids, you’ll never make it to the Manor in time to drop them off with Alfred. They could use your help in Central City”

Barbara bit her lip “But Dick-“

“Babs, I’m in Bludhaven I promise I won’t let them get to our babies. Okay?” He pleaded

She couldn’t tell him now, besides, she’d patrolled with Nathan the first 10 weeks of her pregnancy. Due to not knowing she was pregnant.

One night wouldn’t hurt right?

She could hear sirens in the distance. They lived in a well secured gated community but was it anything against jokers goons?

She looked over at her son, lounging on the couch innocently watching a cartoon. Her daughter in the bouncer kicking her legs. Happy because she had just been fed and her little stomach was full.

She walked into the living room and picked up the bouncer with her daughter still in it, “Nay Nay, follow mommy please.” She instructed, turning off the television set.

Nathan tilted his head but followed her anyways

She lead him into her and Dick’s bedroom. She pulled things out of her large closet “Mommy has to go somewhere.” She informed Setting the bouncer down in the back of the closet. Little Leah smiled up at her. Barbara bent down and smoothed her fuzzy red hair with her fingers

Nathan stepped into the closet “Where you goin?” The almost 3 year old asked

“Mommy has to help daddy and Grampie with something. But I don’t have time to take you to grandfather .” She said running a hand along her sons cheek “You get to stay here with your baby sister. Listen to me.” She held his face to ensure she had his full attention “You and Leah are staying in here. Mommy is going to lock the door. Whatever you hear don’t leave and try not to make any noise. Okay?”

Nathan nodded “I be bwave mama” he whispered

She smiled and kissed his forehead. She picked him up, setting him down againest the back wall and moved the baby bouncer beside him. Barbara leaned down kissing her daughters cheek. Looking her over taking in every inch of her tiny 4 month body. The little fuzzy blush pink sleeper she’d just dressed her in. Her blue eyes that she was sure were beginning to turned green. Dick’s nose and ears. Her red hair and lips.

Then she moved onto her son. Dressed in his Green Arrow pajama’s. His favorite super hero. Little did the boy know in less then 15 minutes his mom would be fighting along side him.

His long raven hair, bright blue eyes. Her nose and ears along with a splash of freckles along his cheekbones . Dick’s lips.

She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “I love you both so much .” She told him before standing and backing out.

Barbara pushed a wardrobe up against the closet door, barricading the two kids inside while also hiding the door from view . The house had a central sprinkler system so a fire was the least of her worries.

She suited up and then went out. Praying everything would turn out fine

Six hours later Dick rushed into the clinic “Where is she.” He demanded

Leslie and Dinah both ran along side him “She’s lost a lot of blood.” Dinah said

Leslie nodded “She is very weak and drowsy”

He stopped and turned toward the two women “Take me to my wife now.”

The both gulped...Dick had actually admitted a small bit of fear in the two women something hard to do.

Dinah nodded “Come.” She waved

Dick entered the room and swallowed upon seeing the love his life looking so helpless lied up in the hospital bed. She’d been stabbed in her arm and almost bled out. Had it not been for Ollie’s basic medical training that saved her

“Her arm will be fine. It’ll make a full recovery. But...” she paused “The other bleeding ontop of the arm is what added to the substantial blood loss.”

He paused “What other blood loss?”

Dinah then realized he didn’t know “Barbara was pregnant. Not very far along 6 weeks at most....she lost the baby.-we haven’t told her yet.”

Dick’s heart sank. They’d made another baby. Another product of their love. And now just like that it was gone?

“Can we be alone?” He asked looking at his sleeping wife

Dinah nodded and exited the room

Dick approached the bed, sitting in a nearby chair. He was sore and probably had a few injuries he should be getting checked out himself but they could wait

He grabbed her hand in both of his. Bringing it to his lips he placed a soft kiss to the top of her hand.

Slowly Barbara stirred awake

“Hey beautiful.” He whispered

Her eyes were only had open “Dick, you’re okay.” A smile played on her lips. Which were now a pale pink

He nodded

“Kids?” She said, her voice a sleepy rasp

“As soon as we got the mind control turned off I ran to the house. They’re fine. Nate had Leah in his lap and she was sleeping. He told me he was protecting her” Dick grinned down at his childhood best friend as he softly brushed away the hair in her face.

He watched as her left hand slowly inched toward her belly “I’m so sorry Dick.”

Dick furrowed his eyebrows “For what Love?”

She closed her eyes “The baby, it’s gone.”

She knew, of course she knew it was Barbara. Tears were welling her eyes. As much as she didn’t plan for another child the idea of having a third baby with Dick was starting to excite her.

He leaned forward and hugged her to his chest “Barbara it’s okay.” He turned his head and kissed her temple “You did nothing wrong. “

She shook her head in his shoulder “They were beating my abdomen after stabbing my shoulder. Green Arrow came over and stopped them but it was too late. I knew the baby was gone”

He nodded “Its alright Babs. We have two beautiful children at home. They are safe because of your quick thinking.” He kissed her cheek and pulled back to look at her “You’re okay I’m okay. Yes we lost the baby. Yes I’m heartbroken as I know you are but we have each other.”

She smiled “I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you”

He nodded “Neither do I.

#dickbabs #dick grayson #barbara gordon #nightwing #batfamily #batgirl #batfam headcanons

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writingfortoomanyfandoms · 4 years

Text

Black and Blue - Four

Pairing: Detective Loki x Reader

Summary: She saw the world in black and blue

Requested: Nope

Chapter Warnings: Some swearing I think??, PAST DOMESTIC ABUSE, panic attack - PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU FIND ANY OF THESE TOPICS TRIGGERING

A/N: So here’s the fourth part of BAB! Sorry that there was such a break between posting the last one and this one, hopefully the same won’t happen for the fifth and final part. Please remember to let me know what you think - reblog, comment, send asks, I love hearing from all of you :) and remember that tag requests are only accepted through my inbox xx

One // Two // Three // Five

Y/N Y/L/N saw the world as hope and disappointment.

Though recently she had squashed down the hope that wanted to remain.

A childish notion, in her mind.

An innocence associated with hope that she hadn’t had for years.

Disappointment, though, that was safe. She was safe in the knowledge that disappointment would always come. Something that was reliable for her to believe in.

Perhaps that was as pessimistic as her mother thought it was.

But Y/N had never prided herself on her optimism.

No, not an optimist, not a pessimist.

A realist.

///

Y/N knew it was too good to be true.

She waited at the restaurant for half an hour before giving up completely. Loki - David, though she wasn’t sure she wanted to call him that anymore - had asked her to meet him at the restaurant at six o’clock for their date.

He had told her that he would try to pick her up from the bakery but that because he was working that day, chances were he wouldn’t get off early enough to pick her up from work and bring her.

Y/N had assured him it was fine and she actually arrived at the restaurant early - at ten to six - to ensure that she wasn’t late.

She had made more of an effort in her appearance than she had in the past one and a half years. It was the first time putting herself out there in that long as well.

And no, it hadn’t been worth it.

The front door closed behind her and she fell back against it, letting out a loud, guttural moan. She flung her bag to the other end of the hallway, allowing herself to indulge in the catharsis from the show of anger.

She slid down to the floor, her anger sinking into sobs, her hands moving up to cover her face as she cried. Her shoulders shook and her breathing was ragged as she fell apart on the cool wooden floor of her hallway.

Really it was her own fault. She had spent her time in recovery to build up her walls, to make herself understand that it wasn’t safe to hope. Hope was dangerous and destructive and only led her to disappointment.

And she had been so good at squashing down any traces of hope that wanted to remain, so good at reminding herself what had happened the last time. But of course she had to go fuck it up for herself.

This was why she was safer alone. Happier alone. No one else to rely on but herself. No chance of others disappointing her. Perhaps some people would view that as being pessimistic.

Not her.

No, she wasn’t a pessimist or an optimist.

She was a realist and it just so happened that the world was a shitty place for people like her. So maybe her view was a bit more negative than others.

After what she had been through a year and a half ago...

After what she had been through with him - with Caspar - no one could blame her.

///

When she had first escaped, the first place she had gone was back home. It was from there that her family had taken her to the hospital and there that she had finally agreed to have the police called on him.

From the comfort of her mothers arms as she lay in a hospital bed, she had called the police with shaking fingers.

“999, what’s your emergency?”

She remembered how her throat had closed up, barely able to breathe never mind confess the secret she had been hoarding for a year of her life. It was her sisters hand resting on her shoulder that worked to clear her airway.

“I-I want to report a case of domestic abuse.”

“May I ask whose?”

Y/N remembered looking to her family members with panicked eyes. Taking in her father’s clenched jaw, her sister’s sympathy, her mother’s worry, her grandma’s tears. Her brother’s eyes were full of sadness but he was the only one who could look at her. She remembered how he had nodded.

“Mine.”

Now she stood in the kitchen of her bakery, tear tracks on her face feeling just as helpless and pathetic as she had that night.

When she had been released from the hospital after hours of being patched up and police interviews, she had collapsed at home. Anger bubbled inside of her but that was covered by shame. Deep shame at what she had allowed to happen to herself.

No matter what her family said, no matter how hard they tried to assure her that it wasn’t her fault, that she had nothing to be ashamed about, Y/N couldn’t wipe that feeling from herself.

Her Grandma had forced her out of bed a week later. She was making bread for the market and said she needed help with it.

Y/N knew she didn’t need help - her Grandma made all the bread herself normally, there was no way that she needed the help of her traumatised grandchild. But Y/N was happy to pretend.

And she found herself taking her anger out on the bread dough she was kneading.

Now her hands were shaky as she measured out the ingredients. She had to stop every few minutes, close her eyes and take a couple of breaths before continuing.

As she kneaded the dough now, she pictured Loki’s eyes. How genuine he had seemed when he talked to her, when he asked her on the date.

That was what hurt - how genuinely interested and concerned he seemed to be for her.

Her hands pushed harder at the dough as she thought about his expression. Thought about his laughter, the tired, exhausted smile that it sometimes felt he reserved for her.

She had been there before. She had done heartbreak once, she wasn’t going to do it again. She wasn’t going to be destroyed by a man again.

Y/N thought she was imagining it when she heard knocking. It wouldn’t be the first time that she had been hearing things. But it became more and more insistent, bringing her out of the daze she was in as she took her anger out in the bread.

She walked through the kitchen of her bakery out to the front section, stepping around the tables and chairs that had been neatly stacked to allow her to mop the floor earlier.

Y/N stopped short when she saw the all-too familiar face of Loki looking through the door at her.

White snow dusted his dark, thick jacket. Despite the warm garment that was draped over him, he was still shivering as a result of the heavy snow fall that had started in the time that Y/N had arrived back at her home above the bakery. His hair was disheveled and the look on his face was frantic.

For the first time since Y/N had met him, she was genuinely scared of him.

Not the nervous energy that flooded her body when she was him or any man - a remnant of her time with Caspar, he made sure that fear locked her in place whenever she was with any man, though she had gotten better about that in her time recovering.

No, seeing the wild look on his face and seeing the restless way that he was moving around on the spot on the doorstep of the bakery, Y/N was scared of him.

“Let me in!”

Y/N was paralysed on the spot and all she could muster the courage to do was shake her head.

“Y/N - Y/N, please - let me in!”

“Please no,” she whimpered out, tears springing to her eyes again.

She remembered all too well the last time she had heard those words.

It was only a few months into their relationship, only about a month since Caspar had started to hurt her, and she had had enough. She wanted to break up with him, of course she did, but every time she tried he managed to worm his way back in.

That day, though, she had had enough. She had locked her apartment door, refusing to let him in no matter how much he begged and pleaded her to just open it for him. She remembered the tears streaming down her face as she listened to him talk - she remembered the threats, how he swore he would kill himself if she didn’t open the door right that moment, how he would find her family and make them pay.

He had won, of course he had won. Y/N couldn’t remember a time when Caspar hadn’t won. That day, the consequences of her actions were worse than ever before. She couldn’t feasibly leave her apartment for two days until the bruises had faded just enough for her to be able to cover it up with make-up.

Shortly after that incident, Caspar had insisted upon Y/N moving in with him.

“For safety”

YN had to get permission to leave the apartment after that. She didn’t have her own key. Caspar accompanied her almost everywhere. The only place that she was alone was in her university lecture theatre. Caspar would walk her to and meet her after the lectures.

Now she could feel her breathing begin to pick up at the too-familiar words falling from Loki’s lips. The pleads to let him in. Her hands flew to her ears, trying to block him out and she stumbled, falling to the ground.

“Y/N, please listen to me,” Loki’s voice went up an octave in concern. “Just try and breathe for me, okay? Just breathe, it’ll be okay, I promise you. Just breathe. Please, just listen to my voice, okay? In and out.”

///

Y/N let Loki in.

It was strange for her, to be the one being served rather than the server.

To be the one whispering her thanks as a mug of tea was placed before her.

“Is it okay if I sit here?” His voice was gentle and oh-so-kind as he asked her. Not pushing her, making sure she was okay.

Caring for her.

“Please,” a whisper, a plea for him to stay with her and stay always. To take care of her because God she needed it. She needed him.

And she hated herself for how much she needed him. How much she needed the safety he brought her.

Wasn’t it this feeling that had led to her original state that evening? The trust in Loki’s words that brought her to her fear of him?

Loki wasn’t him, though. He wasn’t Caspar. Not every man was Caspar.

Sometimes she needed to be reminded of that.

“Are you feeling better?” Loki asked, concern lacing his words.

Y/N gave a minute nod of her head before hesitating, closing her eyes and shaking her head.

“W-Why?”

“Why didn’t I come?” Loki whispered and Y/N nodded. “I meant to - I really did. I was meant to be leaving the station early today to make sure I was at the restaurant early and everything,” he promised her and when Y/N risked peaking her eyes open and allowing them to drift to him, his head was hung low, his hands carding through his hair in clear frustration.

Y/N realised with a jolt that his anger wasn’t directed towards her but towards himself.

“But then there was a lead in the case and... and I couldn’t pass it up. I tried to call you on my way there but my phone died and... and I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

It was as though her hand was acting on its own accord as she reached across the table.

Loki froze when her fingers brushed across his hand. Y/N was grateful, though, that he didn’t move or try to look at her as she did it. She knew she would chicken out if she felt his eyes on her.

Y/N took a deep, shaky breath before latching her hand around one of his fingers and pulled.

Y/N was surprised when there was no resistance and let out her breath, sliding their hands so that they fit together.

Their fingers linked across the table.

#courts writings #Black and Blue series #prisoners #prisoners 2013 #detective loki #detective loki fanfiction #detective loki imagine #detective loki x reader #detective loki x you #detective loki x y/n #detective loki x yn #detective loki mini series #jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal fanfiction #jake gyllenhaal imagine #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal x you #jake gyllenhaal x y/n #jake gyllenhaal x yn

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cacchieressa · 5 years

Text

this be the verse

Redrikki requested Steph and one of the boys, so here is this:

"You don't have to come," Steph says. She's still numb, or maybe just so overwhelmed with emotions that she can't actually feel what she's feeling and the end result is the same. "Tim, I mean it. You're busy, and—"

"Kon can drop me off," he insists. He goes quiet for a long moment, then, "I would have wanted you there, when it was me."

She swallows hard and tries not to feel guilty that she hadn't been there for him when Jack Drake died. "Tim," she says and just breathes for a few seconds and listens to him do the same, like she used to back when they were still dating and the world seemed a lot lighter. "I would have wanted to be there."

"I'll see you tonight," he replies, and ends the call before she can say anything else.

Tim is the only member of the family Steph has a daylight connection to; she can only imagine the speculation if the police commissioner's daughter showed up at Cluemaster's funeral, let alone Bruce Wayne.

He sits next to her and makes small talk with the few relatives who show up at the funeral home, while she tries to figure out if this is going to be the thing that sets back her mother's recovery, or if it's going be the thing that sets them both free.

Steph squeezes her hand and she says, "I'm okay, honey. I'm okay."

Steph wishes she believed her. She wishes she was telling the truth when she replies, "Me, too."

She gets up to stretch her legs, Tim at her elbow, and spots a familiar storm cloud face at the back of the room. She speeds up a little and holds out her hands in a genuine mix of pleasure and gratitude not to Damian, who looks like he'd rather be anywhere else (for once a feeling she totally shares with him) but to Alfred, who is with him.

"Alfred," she says, slightly too loud, and then, mindful of the company, "Mr. Pennyworth. Thank you so much for coming." She wants to hug him but he's probably too British for that and anyway, she's barely supposed to know him, and only as Tim's driver.

"We came to pick up Drake," Damian interjects. "It is on the way home."

"My dear girl," Alfred murmurs, ignoring him. "My condolences to you and your mother." He gives her hands a gentle, comforting squeeze before releasing them."

"Tt. You are both better off without him."

'"You're not wrong," she says, "but—"

"It is complicated," he allows, and he'd know.

"Yeah." Her eyes prickle with tears for the first time since she'd heard the news and she blinks them back in surprise, chest tight with an unusual feeling of warmth towards Damian—he's chosen to be here, because there's literally no way the Nolan Funeral Home is on the way to or from the Manor from Gotham Academy.

She turns to Tim and presses a quick kiss to his cheek. "Thanks again for coming, Tim. I wish I could have been there for you."

"I know." Tim nods. "See you tonight?"

"Yeah. No. I don't know."

He gives her a wry half-grin. "Okay."

She does hug him, and gives Damian a pat on the shoulder that makes him scowl but Alfred hustles them out before he can say anything too cutting.

Steph heads back to the big armchairs at the front of the room, where her mother is now talking to Aunt Beth and Uncle Harry, the only relatives on the Brown side of the family Steph can stand, and lets herself get folded into the conversation. She'll make the decision about her night job later.

Steph does go out eventually; she'd debated for a long while before pulling on her costume and heading out towards the GU campus. Crime stops for no one in Gotham, and certainly not for Stephanie Brown.

She busts up a mugging and escorts a trio of drunk girls back to the dorms before she heads back into the city proper. After two hours of listless solo patrolling, she finds herself in the Narrows, on the roof of the old apartment building she'd lived in as a kid. She used to sit on the fire escape and wish for Batman to come and rescue her and her mother, long before she realized she could put a mask on and rescue herself.

She's lost in thought so she startles when someone touches down next to her on the roof. She can just imagine Batman's thunderous frown and, even worse, Bab's disappointed sigh, and forces herself not to shudder at the thought. Things are better now, even between her and Bruce, even though she slapped him. Maybe even ever since she slapped him. She really is glad he's not dead. It's sad she can't say the same about her actual father. Red Hood settles down beside her, dangling his legs over the edge of the roof and popping off his helmet.

"Hey."

She nods in response. She probably should have expected him—this is his territory, and despite the truce he and Dick have worked out, she's not supposed to be here unless he calls for help or she's in hot pursuit.

Maybe she should apologize, but she doesn't. He doesn't press. They sit in silence for a while.

Finally, he says, "I'm sorry."

It takes her a second to process it, and then she says, "I'm not."

He shakes his head. "No, of course not. That's not what I meant."

"Oh?"

"I'm sorry that even though you had a shitty B-list supervillain for a dad, you probably are still feeling some ways about everything."

"Yeah, okay. That makes sense." She laughs. "I should have known you'd get it." She holds out a fist and he bumps it.

"Dead Robins, yeah?"

Her mouth goes a little wobbly. She'd thought they were alike sometimes, especially before he came back, but she never thought he had. She has to swallow hard and her voice is still hoarse when she says, "Yeah."

He nods and they sit in companionable silence again for a while. He stares down at the blank eyes of his helmet and says, "They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to but they do."

"What?"

"It's from a poem," he mutters. "Philip Larkin."

"A poem?" She presses a hand to her chest to mime shock. "The big bad Red Hood is reciting poetry to little old me?" She laughs so hard she snorts. "And I thought Tim was the nerdy one."

"Shut up. Tim is the nerdy one. Poetry is cool."

She leans over and bumps his shoulder. "Yeah, okay. Poetry is cool. I'll let you have it this time, since you're being so nice."

"I'm not being nice," he says. "I just know something about having a shitty dad who dies on you."

"Yeah, okay," she says again. This time, she reaches over and curls her hand around his. "Thank you."

"Only for you, BG. Only for you."

She blinks back tears again before she climbs to her feet. She squares her shoulders and puts her hands on her hips, and for once Gotham obliges her by sending a breeze to make her cape billow majestically.

"What do you say, Red Hood? Want to work out our feelings by punching some crime in the face?"

He stands and puts on his helmet in one smooth motion. "I thought you'd never ask." He leaps off the building, and Steph follows, feeling more like herself than she has all night.

#dcu #batfamily #stephanie brown #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #alfred pennyworth #stories

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violetsmoak · 5 years

Text

Tabula Rasa [7/?]

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20183281/chapters/49466486

Blanket Disclaimer:

Summary: Tim and Jason have known they are soulmates for years, though neither has said anything about it. Tim thinks Jason doesn’t know and is just trying to live with it. Jason thinks Tim knows but doesn’t care, which is fine with him, he thinks the soulmate thing is a crock anyway. But one night, a minor mishap forces them to confront the issue head-on, leading to a series of events no one could have predicted.

Rating: PG-13 (Rating may change later)

JayTimBingo Prompts This Chapter: #soulmate aversion #secret identity

First Chapter

Author’s Note(s): In which as time passes, Jay's not having an easy time coping with all this soulmate stuff, and Tim's still trying to figure everything out. And Alfred is his usual awesome self.

________________________________________________________________

“Forget almost being assassinated, how did he not die just from tripping over something in the dark, or eating expired food?” Jason asks as he looks around the disaster zone that is Tim Drake’s apartment. There are takeout containers and empty coffee cups covering every surface, and clothing soiled with dirt and blood and what looks like sewer sludge strewn across the floor. Packaging and bubble wrap twist around the legs of tables and extension cables create startlingly effective tripwire traps. “Can’t you people afford a maid service?”

“Surely even you aren’t so thick that you don’t understand why that would be a bad idea,” Damian points out as he walks in behind him, carrying several large boxes from the local hardware depot. As he deposits them, he surveys the apartment with something more like horror than disgust. “This is the residence of the man my grandfather considers his equal?”

“He’s not usually this bad,” Dick says with a sigh as he closes the door behind him with one hand and deposits his own burden of packages. His eyes rove across the open concept living area with a worried expression. “I was here like three weeks ago and it was spotless. I mean, his room was a disaster zone, but that’s just Tim. Messy genius, you know?”

“If this is how he lives, perhaps the social workers are correct that he needs a more qualified minder.”

Dick ignores that. “I don’t get it. It’s like he just gave up. What the hell happened?”

Jason remains quiet; he has a nasty suspicion he knows exactly what made Tim stop caring.

Whatever, I’m making up for it now, aren’t I? In fucking spades…

He’s been avoiding Tim’s apartment for weeks now, stubbornly squatting in different buildings every night or shelling out for a motel when he wants an actual bed or shower. But the last few days he found several itching bites on his skin, and hell no. He swore when Bruce took him in, he was done with bedbugs and lice and any other critter that can be found in questionably cleaned bedding.

As luck would have it, Dick was on his way over here with Damian to install handicap bars in Tim’s bathroom and check the place over for any other chores or tasks that needed doing.

“I still don’t see the point of that,” Jason says, nodding at the boxes of tools and components. “In what universe do you see B letting Tim leave the manor any time in the next year or so? Even when he gets his memories back.”

“It’s a compliance thing,” Dick informs him. “Now that Tim’s making actual strides in recovery, social services will be coming at some point to check that everything is set up for his rehabilitation if he chooses to come here. If it’s not done, it won’t look good.”

“That chick’s still pushing this?”

“Oh yeah. She keeps coming up with new requirements she insists be filled. Independent psych evaluations, bi-monthly physicals performed by state doctors—she even wants him to attend mandatory rehabilitation at some government facility in Blüdhaven.”

“What? Why there?”

“Aside from the fact Gotham’s mental health infrastructure is riddled with the criminally insane?”

“Fair…”

“Babs looked into her and it looks like Bruce had the right idea. Gillian Sato’s a nobody. Completely average in everything, trying to make a name in her department by going after a big fish. And you know that Bruce has been CPS’ great white whale since he took me in. You too.”

“I remember,” Jason says with a scowl.

It was shortly after he was taken in by Bruce. He had just started as Robin, was beginning to see Bruce and Alfred as family and the manor as home. And then some do-gooder social worker with the ‘best intentions’ and a dislike of Brucie Wayne exploited a technicality that let her remove Jason from the Wayne household. The next weeks and months dragged Jason through such an emotional wringer that his already abundant trust issues increased by orders of magnitude. Even before he and Bruce started to butt heads later, Jason would never truly be at ease in the manor ever again.

Or anywhere, really.

People let you down. People left. People could be taken away from you. These were the facts of life, and Jason vowed never to forget them again.

It’s yet another reason he’s so resistant to the idea of soulmates. Having one just makes it easier to be let down or to have them taken away. Hell, he’s seen that firsthand, hasn’t he? A simple errant bullet and he almost had to watch his die. He can’t even imagine what this whole ordeal would feel like if he was close to Tim.

Lost in his thoughts, it takes him a moment to realize Dick is still talking.

“…her higher-ups barely know anything about her. Most of them are willing to let this thing with Tim go, but she’s the one who keeps pushing it. Poking for loopholes whenever she hits a new roadblock.”

“So have Barbie make her go away,” Jason suggests.

“And give support to the idea Bruce Wayne is above the law because of his money?” Dick challenges. “That would put a lot more attention on the issue than anyone wants. For now, we just play it the legal way. Once Tim’s eighteen, she’ll have lost a major avenue to exploit.”

“Which means you guys have to put up with her trying to wrap you in red tape for the next four months at least.”

“This is ridiculous,” Damian mutters.

“I know.”

“Not that—although yes, this farce of legal compliance is a waste of everyone’s time. But I’m talking about how no one has done anything about Drake’s condition other than wring their hands.”

“Excuse me?!”

“If we’re ever going to go on with our lives, he must be fixed, and faster than some useless stretching is going to do.”

“Kid, how exactly do you think your dad got back to fighting condition after Bane broke his back?” Jason questions. “‘Useless stretching’ was a big part of it.”

“And a hell of a lot of drive,” Dick adds. “Which Tim doesn’t really have enough of right now. I mean, I know he wants to get better, but it’s not the same as if he knew who he was.”

“Exactly. He would already be walking, I’m sure,” Damian nods. “Then you’re in agreement with me.”

“Well, yeah—wait. What am I agreeing with?” Dick asks, suspicious.

“Through my observations of the situation, I have determined that Drake is unlikely to ever regain full functionality or his memory. The easiest way to fix this would be a Lazarus Pit. I happen to know of one in Cuba.”

“Holy no Batman!” Dick cries. “Did you forget what happened when I tried doing that for Bruce?”

“It would be different in this case, since we know for sure that it’s Drake and not a decoy,” Damian argues. “At least, the body bit. And Todd recovered from brain damage thanks to the Pit.” He considers Jason. “Well. More or less. I did not know you before, therefore I have no basis of comparison.”

“And you also missed the murderous rampage that happened afterward,” Jason growls. “Not being able to control yourself sucks. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

Even Tim.

Especially not Tim.

“If anyone possesses the ability to fight off the effects of the Lazarus Pit, it’s Drake,” Damian insists. “He does not have the same latent anger or violent tendencies as Todd’s files say he had.”

“Hey, stay the hell out of my business!”

“Tim might not be as violent as Jason is or was—”

“Screw you, Dickhead.”

“—but he definitely has the capacity for anger. And as it is, he suffers from severe depression,” Dick informs them soberly. “To the point where he’s considered suicide at least once in the past.”

Damian and Jason’s eyes snap to his face.

“What?” Jason demands.

“That was not in his file.”

“Because he didn’t want it there,” Dick tells them, weary. “In case someone tried to use it against him.”

“Don’t you think that’s kind of fucking important to people know about?” Jason demands. “Especially if they have to go out in the field with him?”

He’s having a sudden flashback to the night when everything came out into the open, when he swooped in to save Tim from a fall that he should have been able to divert himself.

Shit. What if that wasn’t an accident like I thought?

“We all have things in our history we don’t want in the files,” Dick reminds them, his face becoming hard for a moment as if he’s remembering something. Then he shakes it off. “Tim’s been dealing with it. He’s on medication, he reaches out when it gets bad…but it’s an ongoing process. I don’t need to tell you guys that.”

“If he didn’t want anyone knowing, he’s going to be pissed you tattled.”

“I’m only speaking up so Damian understands what a bad idea it would be to put Tim in a Lazarus Pit. Depression on top of Pit madness? I don’t want to even think about what he might do.”

Not to mention bringing him anywhere near where Ra’s might pop up is asking for trouble, especially since he can’t fight him off right now.

“So, you are insisting on this waiting nonsense,” Damian concludes, looking frustrated.

“It’s all we can do for now, Little D.”

The kid’s expression remains stormy.

⁂

Damian strides into Tim’s bedroom one morning, wearing a determined expression and followed by his gigantic dog, Titus.

Tim feels a little wary, not so much because of the intimidating canine, but because his younger brother rarely comes near him voluntarily.

“I have read in numerous medical journals the benefits of animal companions in increasing the likelihood of recovery from traumatic brain injuries,” he announces. “Since Father is adamant, we are not getting another dog, I have decided to allow you to spend time with Titus while I am engaged in my studies. I am confident it will contribute to improvement in your condition.” He gestures at the dog. “Titus, stay with Drake. I shall collect you later.”

Then he nods to himself, as if concluding business, and leaves the room.

Tim stares after him, utterly bewildered at the turn of events. Titus watches the boy go, whines for a moment, and then looks over his shoulder at Tim, head cocked to one side as if wondering what that was all about.

All he can do is shrug, which he feels ridiculous about a moment later because Titus is a dog and has a limited understanding (even if Damian speaks to him as if he’s a human being). Still, a beat later, the dog wanders over to Tim’s bed, and rests his head upon the mattress, gazing up at Tim with curious eyes, his tail wagging somewhat.

Slowly, Tim reaches out with his right hand and places it on the dog’s head, causing the tail-wagging to speed up, and scratches him behind the ears.

Titus thus becomes a semi-permanent element of Tim’s recovery process. Damian comes by every morning to drop the dog off as if he’s a parent leaving a child at daycare or school and leaves for several hours. Titus then goes to Tim for obligatory head-pats and only lets up when it becomes clear Tim’s energy is flagging. Even then, he doesn’t go anywhere, simply curling up beside Tim’s bed. When Damian returns, he pokes his head in, nods again, and gestures for the dog to depart with him.

The whole situation is bizarre, but Tim thinks it’s the way Damian expresses worry.

Having Titus around has the added benefit of intimidating Gillian Sato whenever she comes for one of her ‘visits’. Jay can’t always make it there before she does, and she somehow manages to insist on meeting with Tim privately to avoid bias (which he doesn’t understand). Those visits when Jay isn’t present are as short as possible to comply with her wishes, but they’re long enough that Tim is always exhausted and confused at their end. With Titus there, he’s at least a bit more comfortable; the dog appears to sense when his anxiety is climbing or when Ms. Sato says something that makes him uncomfortable.

“It’s rather concerning, Timothy,” she tells him in a voice meant to be kind. “Considering all the resources Mr. Wayne has at his disposal, that he insists you recover here. Instead of in a facility specifically created to rehabilitate TBI patients. It’s almost as if he’s trying to keep you here under his watchful eye.” She leans forward, expression worrying. “You want to get better as soon as possible, don’t you?”

Before Tim can try to parse out exactly what she’s asking him (because he knows somehow the words don’t match her intention), Titus hackles raise, and he begins to growl.

Almost that same instant, Alfred will sweep in and declare that Tim is quite tired today, perhaps they can continue this interview some other time?

Tim wonders if he isn’t standing at the door eavesdropping, even though somehow, he can’t reconcile that image in his head.

Depending on the time of day that Ms. Sato arranges her ‘visit’, the family member that sits with him changes. He much prefers when it’s Jay—he’s the only one whose presence helps Tim calm down quickly after such an interview—but he’s learning to appreciate and trust everyone else in his family.

He’s come a long way since waking up in the hospital and seeing nothing but a bunch of strangers.

Bruce continues to make efforts to spend time with Tim when he wakes up in the mornings. In addition to the sudoku and crossword puzzles, which Tim has started trying to do himself in his spare time, Bruce has started playing other games with him. First Go Fish, and later Memory.

They were games suggested by Dr. Thrussell to help with Tim’s mental rehabilitation, but it turns out playing with Bruce is fun. His expression is awfully serious for what Tim knows are simple children’s games, but he always becomes exceedingly pleased when Tim makes a correct guess.

Dick, who Tim has learned from Alfred is a police officer, is not always around due to his work shifts being somewhat irregular, but when he is, he goes out of his way to help Tim with whatever he might need. It’s both touching and overwhelming; Tim likes Dick, but he feels the same amount of mental exhaustion when he leaves as he does when Ms. Sato does.

How does one person have that much energy?

His favorites besides Jay, are Cassandra and Stephanie.

Steph is nice, as well. She’s affectionate with him, has a good sense of humor, and unlike everyone else who seems wary about touching Tim beyond helping him groom himself or for physio, she’s very tactile.

And she smells nice.

He feels a level of comfort with her that is like when he’s with Jay, which he supposes is because they used to date before she and Cass discovered they were soulmates. Perhaps it’s why he doesn’t question her presence in his life the way he still does sometimes with Bruce or Dick or Damian.

And then there’s Cassandra, who’s just…amazing.

Because she’s like him, somehow.

There’s intelligence in her eyes, but she has trouble getting the words out just like he does. When she sees him struggling with his brain to mouth disconnect, she looks empathetic and he knows it’s not pity or guilt.

The latter is a look he’s started to recognize in Jay, and he doesn’t like it.

He wonders if whatever makes him look like that is the reason he doesn’t get along with the rest of the family. He wishes he could ask, though he suspects even if he could, he wouldn’t get a straight answer.

He’s not sure if that’s normal for this family, or if it’s just another attempt to keep from upsetting Tim. Ever since he started to improve, everyone seems to be wanting to keep him occupied and entertained. Sometimes it’s fun—like today, with Steph egging him on while playing Candy Crush—and other times, it’s just…

Exhausting.

His convalescence aside, Tim has noticed there are times when he feels exhausted and strained for reasons other than his injury. He doesn’t know where those feelings come from, just that he dislikes them.

⁂

One evening, a little over three months following the shooting, Jason shuffles into the manor and wonders how this became routine for him.

It should worry him; how easy it’s been to slip back into the habit of being greeted by Alfred. Into toeing off his boots in the entrance closest and loitering in the kitchen to see if there’s anything left over from lunch or dinner.

It’s deceptively simple to fall into the mental trap of calling this place home again, which is why he never lets himself stay longer than a few hours. Even when Alfred keeps offering to make up a guest room or tries to tempt him with homemade scones for breakfast the next morning.

(He can’t go near his old room, the mausoleum to shattered dreams and stolen childhood.)

Jason’s usual arguments against that are quieter right now, his mind on what Damian said the other day: that no one is trying to help Tim.

In the strictest sense, the sentiment is bullshit; everyone in the Family has been bending over backward trying to make his rehabilitation priority, to protect him from two-faced social workers and asshole paparazzi looking for a story. But there’s been no headway on the shooting, and he wonders if anyone else but him is still looking into it.

Which is stupid, because he knows for a fact that Bruce is a dog with a bone and won’t let any case go, let alone one where his kid got hurt.

So why hasn’t he found anything yet?

He knows from experience, both as Robin and Red Hood, that some cases take longer than others. Bruce spent an entire year investigating the Holiday killings before Jason got involved, and during their years together there were several ongoing cases that dragged for weeks and months before a break could be made.

There are some that remain unsolved to this day.

But this is Tim, you’d think he’d be more motivated. Unless…

Unless he has found something and just doesn’t want to share it because he thinks Jason’s going to go on a vengeful, murderous rampage.

He clenches his fists.

It wouldn’t be the first time that Bruce kept something from him or anyone else if he’s on a case he’s decided is his. He even keeps Dick out of the loop on stuff like that, and he’s the golden child.

Jason’s probably just being paranoid.

Except…

Except he learned paranoia from the best, and that paranoia isn’t always just paranoia, and if Bruce thinks he’ll react badly to something, of course he’s going to keep it from him. Which means they’re going to have a problem because this case isn’t going to get solved if they can’t share important information.

Instead of heading toward Tim’s bedroom, Jason changes course and makes a beeline for the Cave entrance in the study.

He reaches the bottom of the staircase just in time to see Nightwing and Robin peel out of the garage on two bikes. A cowl-free Batman is hunched over the computer, looking up something on the main screen, while the ones off to the sideshow various CCTV feeds from the Narrows, Tricorner and Burnley.

He catches flashes of Black Bat and Signal in the latter two, and scowls.

“I should be out there.”

“That’s not your concern right now,” Bruce replies without even turning around. “You should be upstairs with Tim.”

There’s a derisive snort at that, and Jason glances over to see Blondie balanced on her own bike, adjusting her hair beneath her cowl.

“Problem, Bat-chick?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t sound like nothin’.”

“Just seems like certain people are easier to forgive than others.”

“Stephanie,” Bruce warns, still not looking at either of them.

“No, it’s fine,” she replies. “Let’s keep tiptoeing around the giant pink elephant in the room. And by giant pink elephant, I mean crime lord.”

“That what you’re goin’ with?” Jason challenges. “You’ve been stewin’ on that for three months, and you’re gonna give me grief over bullshit that’s over and done with?”

“Clearly it’s not over and done with.”

“If you’ve got a problem with me, strap on the steel tits and own up to what it’s really about.”

“Okay, fine!” Blondie hops off the bike to march forward, stopping a good foot away from him and shoving a finger at him. “You might be his soulmate, but don’t think that gets you off for all the crap you’ve pulled. Especially since you’ve known this whole time.”

“What I know or knew is none of your business. But if you really want to have a competition about who hurt him most, my name ain’t the only one on the list.”

“Are you seriously trying to pull the ‘everyone else did it too so it’s okay’ defense?”

“No, I’m telling you to be careful in that fragile fucking glass house of yours.”

“Speaking of houses, how long are you going to keep playing house with Tim before you break his heart again? Are you going to do it right when he gets his memories back, or wait a few days for him to adjust and then drop him?”

“You think I’d be that big an asshole?”

“I know you’re that big an asshole. And so did Tim,” she shoots back, merciless. “He told me you were dead.”

“I was dead.”

“And then you weren’t. And he still always told that to anyone who asked. He knew whatever this is with you, it was never going to happen, but it also wasn’t going away. So, he was trying to move on. And if he’s smart—which we all know Tim is, memories or not—he’ll stick to that gut feeling. Because the longer he’s involved with you, the more hurt he’s going to be when you inevitably break his heart. If you were any kind of decent, you’d get the hell out of his life before he finishes imprinting on you like a baby chick.”

“That’s enough,” Bruce says, and this time he does turn around. “Stephanie, patrol.”

“I’m going,” she replies. “But not because you told me to.”

She stalks toward her bike, and after a few angry revs of the engine, speeds off out of the cave.

Bruce is still looking in Jason’s direction; he can feel the frown. “Provoking her isn’t helpful to anyone, least of all Tim.”

“What argument were you watching?” Jason shoots back. “If anyone’s provoking anyone else, it’s her. And I’m telling you now, B, if she wants a fight, I’ll give it to her. I’m putting up with enough crap because of this soulmate thing, I didn’t sign on to let Timbo’s pissed off ex-girlfriend take shots at me.”

“The lack of evidence in this case is frustrating everyone.”

Jason gives him a disbelieving look—there’s no way that Bruce can be so emotionally stunted that he can’t figure out what Blondie’s little tiff was all about.

Then again…yes, he is.

Rather than stew over Blondie’s accusations (and the fact that she’s got more of a point than he’d like), Jason decides to focus on what Bruce actually said.

“So you haven’t found anything on your end, either?”

He leans against the giant computer, keeping a conspicuous distance between him and Bruce, and trying not to feel awkward and naked without his helmet on. He doesn’t actually remember the last time he was down here and not in uniform.

“No.”

“Really. Nothing? Not a single goddamn clue? This is all just some random person that decided to take the kid out?”

“It’s not the first time someone has attempted to assassinate Tim.”

“Yeah, but I heard about that, it was all planned for. This wasn’t.”

“Hence the continued investigation.”

“Yeah, well, there’s no way you’ve been on the case this long and haven’t found something.”

Bruce is quiet for a moment and then nods. “Based on the lack of available evidence, whoever did this was a professional. Elite even.”

“No shit. We knew that from Day One.”

“I’ve since narrowed down a list of suspects from around the world, who have the capability of pulling this off.”

“And?”

“And they’re all either accounted for or dead.”

“So why do you look more constipated about this than usual? You’ve had harder cases with less evidence.”

“Almost all of these snipers were trained by David Cain.”

The name makes Jason tense. “He’s dead.”

“Yes. But before he died, he mentioned something to me. That there were others.”

“Others like Cass, you mean.”

“Hn.”

Jason grits his teeth. “So, your theory is some designer assassin Child o’ Cain decided to come to Gotham just to shoot Tim?”

“It’s not a theory. Just a possible connection. There’s too little evidence to support it.”

“Then what the hell are you spending the time on it for?” Jason demands. “If we’re going for wild conspiracy theories, why not an alternate universe or time travel? It’s just as easy to speculate someone came back in time to assassinate Tim or put him out of commission for whatever reason.”

“I won’t discount those theories either,” Bruce allows, because of course. “But in either situation, anyone coming here for Tim specifically would likely be enhanced to survive whatever means brought them here.”

“Or it’s one of us.”

Bruce doesn’t meet his gaze, but there’s a subtle tensing of his shoulder muscles.

“I saw that,” Jason points out quietly. Bruce says nothing. “You think it would be me, don’t you?”

“I never said that.”

“If it were one of us, I’m the best marksman, so if it were anyone of ours to come back and put a bullet in his head, it’d be me.”

Bruce stands then, agitated. “You’re jumping to conclusions and letting your feelings cloud your judgment. This is only one of many theories, not even the one that’s most likely—”

“Except we both know that ain’t the case!” Jason snarls. “You know as well as I do, I’m probably the reason he got shot in the first place!”

“Jason—”

“I did this, B! I was in the middle of a pissing contest with some asshole moving in on my turf and Tim got caught in the crossfire. I might as well have pulled the trigger myself!”

“You did not cause Tim to be shot,” Bruce snaps.

“That’s not what you thought when it happened,” Jason reminds him bitterly.

“And I’ve since revised my opinion. I don’t believe this to be related to the contract that was put out on Red Hood.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s a totally glowing recommendation!”

“Whoever is after you obviously isn’t aware of your civilian identity, or they would still be pursuing you,” Bruce replies. “Going underground would only keep you safe for so long, and it’s been months. Whoever is targeting you may have been watching Red Hood, but they weren’t watching you. Therefore, the likelihood of Tim’s shooting having anything to do with your activities is low.”

“Seriously? That’s your explanation?”

“Jason,” Bruce sighs, and he’s pinching the bridge of his nose in a familiar gesture of exhaustion. “I’m trying to tell you I don’t think you’re responsible for this. Why are you fighting me on it?”

“Because nothing is ever that easy with you! And you’re usually the one driving the ‘Jason messes everything up’ bandwagon. Don’t tell me that’s changed all because I happen to be the kid’s soulmate.”

“That has nothing to do with it. I’ve already explained my reasoning, and it’s enough for me at the moment.” He fixes Jason with a calculating look that he doesn’t like. “The question is, why are you so determined to make it your fault?”

Jason opens his mouth to respond, but the words get stuck in his throat as he realizes he has no idea how to answer that.

Bruce continues. “Your behavior is inconsistent.”

“Hell, yes, it’s inconsistent! It’s been months and I still have no fucking idea how I’m supposed to deal with all of this!”

“Perhaps you should take some time,” the older man replies, turning his attention back to the computer. “Away from here.”

Jason narrows his eyes. “Away from Tim, you mean.”

“He’s at the point where he is no longer uncomfortable with the rest of us, and you did make it clear that you only intended to stay by his side until his condition improved. I’m sure with some explanation you could take some time. It might help.”

“You just…that’s not even…”

Jason falters, not sure how to respond, because really, this is his get-out-of-jail-free card. He did say he was only going to stick around until Tim was doing better, and the kid is doing better. He can get back to his search for the dick that got him to go to ground, can get back to living his life the way he wants it and not based around a convalescent’s schedule.

But the idea of it just now, makes him feel queasy, like he’s running a dirty deal.

And on top of that, it bothers him that while Bruce is certain he’s not responsible for Tim’s injury, he still obviously has an issue with the fact they’re soulmates.

It shouldn’t bother him.

It absolutely should not bother him.

And yet.

“You’re a fucking piece of work, you know that?” he snaps, and heads right back up the stairs, mind racing and unable to settle on a single conflicted thought.

Upon reaching the study he finds Alfred on his way in, a tray of tea and sandwiches in hand. The older man takes one look at him and purses his lips, and puts down his burden.

“From your expression, I suspect Master Bruce will be sulking too much the rest of the evening to be interested in dinner.”

“Like I care,” Jason grunts, slamming the false front of the clock entrance closed.

“Were that the case, you would not be damaging the furniture.”

Jason scowls, though it’s somewhat tempered when Alfred offers him the sandwiches he was obviously about to bring down to Bruce.

He takes a petty satisfaction in polishing off every bit of food and tea while Alfred pretends to busy himself with tidying the already pristine study. Although he’s clearly remaining nearby should Jason need him, he doesn’t try to force a conversation.

How does he always know…?

Jason surprises himself when he’s the one to break the silence. “Why the hell does this soulmate shit have to be so complicated? Everyone else just gets it, and I just want to jump out of my fucking skin because it’s making me crazy.”

For once, Alfred doesn’t comment on his language.

“As I understand it, you have never had another person with whom you could confide about this before. You had not manifested your mark when you first came to us, and Master Bruce does tend to avoid matters of the heart and soul except when necessity requires it.”

Jason grumbles, “No kidding.”

It’s not just now, either.

Years back, Bruce got through the sex talk with his usual emotionless, detached aplomb, but didn’t bother with any of the other stuff. Jason would have thought the guy had no heart at all, except he saw how invested he got with the women in his life that mattered.

“And I would imagine discussing it with Mr. Harper and Ms. Anders has not helped, given the substantial difference in circumstances.”

“You got that right…”

“Then perhaps I might offer my own understandings if only to provide another perspective.”

Jason shrugs. “Why not? It’s not like anyone else cares, other than to look like I kicked a puppy whenever I’m in the room with Tim.”

“It has always been my belief that one’s soulmate is the person who will have the most impact on one’s life.”

“So why isn’t mine the Joker?” Jason shoots back spitefully.

“As if that creature ever had a soul,” Alfred scoffs.

“I’m just sayin’, your logic’s flawed.”

“And if you think a homicidal clown gets to claim to be the biggest impact on your life, I wash my hands of you. Do you realize you are scarcely 21 years old? You have an awful lot of life ahead of you to have that one moment, traumatic as it was, to define all of it. Perhaps in those first few months or years following the incident, yes. But you have a future, Master Jason. Soulmates are not just for the moment, but for the breadth of your lifespan. And however much strangeness we see on a regular basis in this world of ours, none of us have the ability to discern the future.”

“Except maybe Duke.”

“Except perhaps Master Duke,” Alfred allows, his mouth twitching somewhat. “But even that only comes in flashes. He cannot know it all. And neither can you.”

“Is that your convoluted way of telling me ‘chin up’?”

“That is my convoluted way of telling you that you are not the only person to find the matter of soulmates difficult to navigate. And no one—not even Master Bruce—is expecting you to figure it all out right away.”

Jason snorts. “You sure about that?”

Alfred simply raises an eyebrow as if insulted by his pearls of wisdom being questioned, and Jason raises his hands in surrender.

Never question Alfred. He knows everything.

Still, he suspects that Bruce will be getting a rather pointed talking-to in the near future. It makes him feel marginally better about the whole thing.

“Now,” the older man continues in a businesslike tone, “Timothy is in the family room this afternoon. However, I would understand if you do not feel up to seeing him today and would be perfectly willing to make an excuse for your absence should you require it.”

Jason almost accepts the out, but then remembers Bruce making a similar suggestion—albeit with more suspect motives—and shakes his head.

“Nah,” he sighs. “Knowing Timbers, he’s been waiting up all day. Least I can do is say 'hi'.”

“Indeed,” Alfred agrees neutrally, but there’s a twinkle in his eye that suggests approval.

As long as no one else decides to ambush me with their emotional crap today, it should be fine, Jason decides, leaving the study and wandering down the hall.

⁂

Tim is sitting in the family room watching Arranged.

He spends most of his time there, either alone or with whatever member of the family is still at home that day. After so long being practically bedridden, he’s desperate to be anywhere that’s not his bedroom.

Alfred wheels him out into the gardens whenever it’s not raining or damp or windy (which, being May, it almost always is), and he’s since enjoyed the sun on his face for the first time that he can remember. He also got to experience his apparent first sunburn, because it seems his skin is notoriously sensitive.

Worth it though, to be outside.

He shifts, sitting up on the couch in front of the large television. He’s surrounded by a staggering number of blankets and pillows; Tim’s not even sure he really needs them to support him anymore—he’s been sitting up on his own for a while—but Alfred insists it’s better safe than sorry.

Titus is lying on his feet, dozing but alert. Tim’s wheelchair stands beside the couch, with Alfred the Cat (Damian seems to not have much imagination when it comes to pet names) curled up on the seat. Occasionally he opens one eye as if to check on Tim, and then returns to sleep.

He’s not a bad recovery-cat, I guess.

On-screen, Cordelia de Vere and Bertram Montmorency get to know one another and discover they actually get along, being of complementary temperaments. They have undeniable chemistry and their dialog is full of witty diatribe and veiled insults that he can’t help enjoying. It’s much more interesting than what Cordelia had with her soulmate, which he agrees with Jay about. Tim’s not sure if it’s a better match than Bertram and Maurice, who the prince continues to see in secret. Meanwhile, Gerald seems to be getting along just fine, joining the army and vowing to build himself up to meet the standards of Cordelia’s parents. He doesn’t actually seem outwardly bothered by her absence, except for several sequences of him writing her love letters.

“Never mind a bullet, this is the kind of crap that gives you brain damage,” a voice informs Tim, amused and somewhat mocking as usual.

Tim’s eyes snap instantly to Jay as he appears in the room, and he feels a smile break out on his face.

“Hi.”

It’s one of the words he’s been working on in therapy and can finally say it without having to mentally or actually hum through a children’s nursery rhyme song. It gives him a thrill of accomplishment, albeit one that pales at the thrill when Jason’s eyes widen in surprise, and then something that Tim imagines might be pride.

“Hi back,” he replies and glances around the room. The car glares up at him like he expects him to question or end his occupation of the space, but Jason simply throws himself down on the nearby easy chair—it’s the only piece of furniture free of pillows and blankets—and squints at the television. “I can’t believe you’re still watching this.”

Tim snorts and shoots Jason a wry look, mentally telegraphing his thoughts. And what are you doing right now?

“Don’t give me that, I’m humoring the invalid.”

“Uh-huh,” Tim grunts.

“That’s a lot of sarcasm for someone who can’t manage actual words yet.”

Tim doesn’t take Jason’s abrasive comments as an insult. Along with Steph, he is the only one that doesn’t try to coddle him. He talks to Tim the same way he talks to everyone else, which, like he’s equal to them even though his brain is making things hard for him right now.

Still, the reminder of his lack of verbosity directly on the heels of his recent accomplishments strikes something in Tim, something like annoyance. Something that suddenly wants to prove a point.

He frowns in effort, trying to line up thoughts and words and the movement of his mouth.

“This is seriously predictable,” Jason complains. “Obviously the writers are trying to set it up that he shows up again and sweeps her off her feet. Then the rich boy goes back to his boyfriend and watching all this is a total waste of time.” Tim doesn’t respond, and Jason glances over at him to gauge his reaction. Only to notice now that Tim is watching him instead of the show, mouth turned downward in a frown. “What?”

Tim’s lips part, then purse, and he makes a kind of humming noise in his throat, closing his eyes in concentration. He takes a deep breath and then utters a sound.

“Ju…jjuh…juh-ay…”

He blinks, somewhat surprised by himself. Jason seems to echo it. “Did you just…?”

Tim’s mouth quirks upward and he feels almost smug. Then, he slowly sounds out the word again. “Ja-ay.”

It’s slow and stilted, and his voice is raspy from disuse, but it’s there, decrying his enforced muteness.

Jay is sitting up ramrod straight now. “Holy shit, you’re trying to talk.”

The naked awe on his soulmate’s face makes him feel warm, and so Tim plods onward, ignoring the way sweat breaks out on the back of his neck or the way he feels a little dizzy.

“Th…than…kyuu…”

Jay’s expression appears to shutter, awe becoming confusion. “Uh…for what?”

“Sa…say…” Tim is panting a bit from the effort now.

“Hey, forget it, don’t push yourself,” Jason implores him, sitting up and making a pacifying gesture. “Three words is enough progress for—”

“Say-ved,” Tim interrupts doggedly. “Safe. Me. Heard…duh…di…Dick…say. You. Say-ved me.”

There.

That was almost two full sentences. He knows they’re crude and basic and maybe not quite what he was trying to say, but he managed to communicate on his own without blinking. It fills him with a buoyant glee, a bubbling temptation to laugh though he knows from experience that doing that would just make his head spin and throb.

He expects Jay to look proud again, happy or relieved—maybe even a sarcastic, teasing quip.

What he doesn’t expect is the wild gleam in Jay’s eye or the way the blood rushes from his cheeks. He looks like someone punched him, and then he’s standing, backing away.

“That…” He swallows. “I’ve got to…”

He doesn’t finish and instead turns and practically bolts from the room, leaving Tim staring after him in shocked dismay, wondering what just happened.

________________________________________________________________

To Be Continued

Poor Timmy. And just when he's starting to show some of his old spunk, too...

Things are heading for their first boiling point. Someone's got to knock some sense into Jay, either literally or metaphorically (who wants to take bets on who it will be?).

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alethiometry · 5 years

Note

stentor and alexios or kassandra, palm for nonverbal. hopefully im not spamming you.

HELL YES SIBLING BICKERING IS MY JAM THANK U FOR INDULGING ME

palm smack them upside the head.

send me nonverbal prompts!

Stentor has always wondered what it would be like to have siblings. The instructors at the agoge would remind him, as would Nikolaos, that his fellow Spartiates are his siblings—they are the only family he needs. It’s a convincing argument, he supposes, for those soldiers who already had families to begin with, and knew, seemingly instinctively, how to be around them.

Not that Nikolaos hasn’t been his family all these years: raised him, fed him, gave him a home. Took him under his wing, as it were, imparting wisdom on his adopted son as if Stentor were trueborn.

It’s no secret, the fate that befell the Wolf’s previous family. Stentor figures Nikolaos must have simply missed fatherhood, in the years before he came along.

He’s glad that his stepfather seems happier now that his wife and both his children have returned from the dead, and Myrrine is as close to a mother as she can be to someone who has lived without one for twenty-some years—but truthfully? Sometimes Stentor misses when his life was quiet.

Alexios is… fine, honestly, although by fine Stentor mostly just means manageable. Fine is a fucking stretch, but then again the war’s left them all a little fucked in the head. Do they bicker? Certainly. Have they been known, to Myrrine’s dismay, to throw hands in order to resolve arguments, even when the situation definitely does not call for a physical method of conflict mediation? Without hesitation. But it’s been a few weeks since their last brawl, and nowadays Alexios seems to just glower and crack his knuckles, which is both a surprise and a bit of a disappointment.

(That is his name, right? Or is it still Deimos? Does it depend on the day?)

(They will almost certainly break their no-fighting streak if Stentor asks, which does not seem worth it for an answer that doesn’t matter anyway, because it’s not like he and Alexios have a relationship that can be categorized beyond begrudging tolerance.)

But megalomaniac-in-recovery or no, the reason his stepbrother’s growing reticence is, in a final analysis, a disappointment is this:

The world does not do well with emptiness, Stentor has found. A gap in a phalanx will be filled with enemy soldiers coming for blood. An unconquered region will soon crawl with spies, then soldiers, then politicians. A father who has lost his children will seek a protege to call his son.

It is the natural way of things, that a space created is just a space to be filled by something else. Rarely will this something else be a perfect stand-in for that which was removed to give it room to fill and settle, but the fact remains: it is there now, and the world shifts to accommodate.

Thus, a sudden lack of hostility on his stepbrother’s part means it is only a matter of time before his cocksure stepsister comes to fill it, and Stentor’s time has just run out.

He can keep his temper, most days—but when Kassandra has the gall to throw an arm around his shoulder, as if everything is suddenly merry and good and right between them, as if this is something she has done all their lives, and calls him her baby brother… this is exactly what Stentor is not looking forward to accommodating, and before he can stop himself he is elbowing her in the chest, then smacking her upside the head.

“The fuck was that for?” Kassandra yells, and Nikolaos’ house is not big enough to contain the volume of her shouting, and Stentor really fucking misses the damn quiet.

“I’m not your baby brother,” he growls.

This, it turns out, is the wrong thing to say, because Kassandra simply bursts into laughter.

In Stentor’s defense, it’s not as if he’s ever had any siblings to deal with before. The syssitia does not count. His brothers-in-arms are not so juvenile.

(Once, when they were younger, his friend Tisias goaded him into helping catch slugs to put in Herakleitos’ sandals. Apparently Herakleitos had said something insulting about Tisias’ mother. That is not the same.)

“I don’t know what the fuck Brasidas sees in you,” he tells her instead, and it’s a moot point but it’s better than continuing to think about slugs.

“Do you want an itemized list?” Kassandra asks, eyes alight with glee. (Gods, Stentor wants to hit her again… can he hit her again?) “I can go into as much sordid detail as you’d li—”

“I’ll fucking kill you,” Stentor interrupts through gritted teeth.

“Whatever you say, bab— little brother,” she replies with a smirk. “Is that better?”

“No.”

“Fine. Stentor. I depart with my ship in two days’ time. I know you’re on leave, so if you’d like to join me, the offer stands. Alexios is coming, too. We have a lead on some corrupt merchants who are smuggling intelligence to the Athenian navy.”

“Stuck on a ship with a mercenary and a barely-pardoned war criminal,” Stentor says slowly, “who also happen to be my insane step-siblings. That sounds—”

Torturous.

Noisy.

Productive.

“I’ll think about it,” he mutters.

Kassandra beams, and has the gall to ruffle his hair before taking off faster than Stentor can yelp or throw a punch in retaliation.

“Fuck,” he says, to no one in particular.

He wonders if Alexios would help him look for slugs, if he were to explain exactly what it is he plans to do with them.

#lacedwithlilacs #asked #assassin's creed #ac odyssey #stentor #idk what this even is lmao #odyssey fam #my fic #acfic

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wellhalesbells · 5 years

Note

I see you reblogging some comic stuff an I was wondering if you have a favorite comic or favorite character or ship?

this ask is from so long ago but [DEEP BREATH IN] i’m finally going to answer it, nonny. finally. i kept wanting to read a little bit farther in my comics stack because.... maybe i’ll like that and will regret not having recced it, i just hafta--get--to it, see? and, honestly, i’m still there BUT, come on, i’ll never be caught up because that would mean comics would just have to stop coming out and i would be sad forever if that happened, SO

i’m not even going to pretend like i can narrow this down to one comic. (one ship? sure, that’s spideypool. one character? sure, that’s the merc with a mouth, the regenerating degenerate, wade motherfucking wilson. but one comic?!) there is just straight-up too much out there to make a definitive ‘yes, this is it, this is THE ONE ™ ’ statement. instead, uh, let’s break this shit down, yeah? (super special secret bonus round, will note all lgbt+ rep and standalone comics.) in no particular order, here the frig it goes!

HORROR

infidel, by pornsak pichetshote and aaron campbell. in case you haven’t seen this on every 2018 best list ever, here it is. and, yeah, it was good. a muslim-american main character living in a haunted apartment building where the entities feed off the xenophobia of its occupants. if that’s not a fucking modern horror story i don’t know what is.

spread, by justin jordan and kyle strahm. THIS IS ONE OF MY NEW AND ALREADY ALL-TIME FAVORITES. what an awesomely weird and epic story. the spread is an uncontrollable, unstoppable monster-making force that humanity accidentally unleashed by digging too deep. it infects everything it touches and basically all of humanity is running from quarantine to quarantine just hoping for the best. and speaking of hope.... she’s a baby, rescued by no, and the only thing that’s ever been able to stop the spread. also, no’s gay? and i just DID NOT see that coming. it seems like it’s going to be such a formulaic, bro-y story about the action hero who kisses the face off his girl (her name’s molly and she’s batshit insane and amazing) and instead, nope, it is not that at all. lgbt+ main characters.

the black monday murders, by jonathan hickman and tomm coker. hate capitalism? think all the rich and powerful are evil, soul-sucking monsters? [obnoxious, low-budget commercial sound effects] MAN, HAVE I GOT THE SERIES FOR YOU.

the beauty, by jeremy haun and jason a. hurley. i just started this recently but so far, oh my good golly gosh, i looove it. a sexually transmitted disease that makes you conventionally gorgeous.... at least before it explodies you. [wide, creepy smile] the art is gorgeous, the characters are aces and i am very, very pleased so far. lgbt+ minor characters.

the great divide, by ben fisher and adam markiewicz. this? was a COOL idea. the execution stumbled a bit but, gosh, was it neat. it’s post-apocalyptic where touching another person will literally kill.... one of you. the survivor then absorbs the memories of the person who dies, taking on a ‘rider.’ some people collect them, some people go mad, some form a bond, all have the side effect of dyslexia. like i said, neat as all get out. lgbt+ minor-ish/main-ish character. standalone.

revival, by tim seely and mike norton. a rural town in wisconsin experiences ‘miracle day,’ where the dead rise again.... except, they were kinda already mourned and buried and this is really just fucking up the status quo.

the woods, by james tynion iv and michael dialynas. a high school gets picked up and plopped down in an entirely new, and wickedly hostile universe. it’s all survival and alliances and seeing what you’re really made of when it comes down to it. lgbt+ main characters.

clean room, by gail simone and jon davis-hunt. a cult, a journalist and a clean room walk into a bar...

anya’s ghost, by vera brosgol. you think it’ll be a cute story of a girl and her ghost. HA HA THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENS AT ALL, OKAY.

FANTASY

rumble, by john arcudi and james harren. SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD, SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD, SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD!!! okay, first off, the art in this? pushes every friggin’ button i’ve got, and many i did not know i had. second, this book is so fucking fun. it’s mythology that’s balls to the wall ridiculous, funny, and features a main character whose life motto is basically: ‘do i have to?’ infinitely relatable and then some.

heathen, by natasha alterici and rachel deering. UGH, ONE OF MY FAVORITES. the art is just horribly, horrendously gorgeous and it’s LESBIAN VIKING MYTHOLOGY, OKAY. OKAYYYY??? lgbt+ main characters.

the wicked + the divine, by kieron gillen and jamie mckelvie. one of my favorite ever series right here. it’s a hella cool concept (gods reincarnating as humans every twelve years, and burning up their hosts in two), whip-smart and if you’ve ever met a human being who likes a pun more than kieron gillen i defy you to produce them. lgbt+ main and minor characters.

batgirl, by gail simone and adrian sayaf and vicente cifuentes. you know how people rave about gail simone? there’s a reason people rave about gail simone. honestly, i’ve never had much interest in babs. i don’t tend to go for superheroes who don’t kill and i have even less interest in ‘the killing joke’ story line and i am convinced only gail simone could’ve done the recovery on that and she did a GLORIOUS job of it.

red hood and the outlaws, by scott lobdell and dexter soy. (ignoring recent - and annoying - developments), this is my favorite of all the rebirths dc did. scott lobdell is the only writer to have gotten the idea down of: okay, we’re starting over, i assume you don’t know anything but i also assume there are a bajillion people reading who know everything, and hit the perfect medium between those two things. so if you want to start a jason todd run, you legitimately can here, and get all the found family, badassery, batman-teasing enjoyment there is to be had.

iceman, by sina grace and robert gill (covers by kevin wada). classic super-heroing here and bobby’s first solo title. he’s figuring out coming out while fighting (and flirting) with baddies. sina really gets his humor and how truly wonder-awful it is! lgbt+ main character.

spider-man/deadpool, by joe kelly and ed mcguinness. watch those names there, those are your guys right there, period. they looked at the void of a spider-man/deadpool series and filled it with absolutely everything you could possibly want for the pair (sans a hardcore make-out sesh, though they did get a few variant covers with some puckered up lips in there!)

limbo, by dan watters and caspar wijngaard. a fusion of 80s aesthetics, voodoo elements and a noir tone. just some remarkably cool shit in this. the ending, for me, left something to be desired but it was more than worth it to see worship via mixtapes. standalone.

hawkeye: kate bishop, by kelly thompson and leonardo romero. kate bishop is, apparently???, a super impossible character for a lot of writers. kelly thompson is not one of them. kelly thompson is my favorite kate bishop writer, actually, and the fact that she is ever not writing her is a gd travesty.

the unbeatable squirrel girl, by ryan north and erica henderson. honestly, i’m so tempted to just stick this under ‘contemporary,’ because it really does just feel very... normal. doreen’s navigating college, new friendships, and y’know... the squirrely-ness. this had every opportunity to suck and instead it’s funny as heck, never takes itself too seriously, and is just pure good-hearted entertainment through and through.

wolf, by ales kot and matt taylor. a paranormal detective and the-possible-antichrist go on a road trip. people hated this comic and i don’t know how you can hate a comic that has a character called freddy chtonic who has tentacles for a mouth???

ms. marvel, by g. willow wilson and adrian alphona. hi, you read ms. marvel because the world is a garbage fire and people are terrible and your cynicism is at an all time high and then kamala khan waltzes in and reminds you people generally want to help each other and the world improves when we work together and that thing optimists feel? you’ll feel that for as long as you’ve got the pages open and that’s a magical thing. lgbt+ minor character.

monstress, by marjorie m. liu and sana takeda. psychic links with monsters, matriarchal societies, magic and witchery, half-human/half-animal (and other ratios) characters, all through a steampunk lens. what’s not to like about that??

inhuman, by charles soule. i love this series, i love the idea of being a total average joe/joanne, getting smacked in the face by a cloud of mist and suddenly having to figure out how to live basically a whole new life. also, if you don’t fall madly in love with dante pertuz, i don’t even know what to tell you, my dude.

heart in a box, by kelly thompson and meredith mcclaren. break-ups suck, but only because of that whole pesky broken heart thing, right? so emma gives hers away. problem solved, no? standalone.

i kill giants, by joe kelly and j.m. ken niimura. i didn’t cry my eyes out or anything. did not. standalone.

sex criminals, by matt fraction and chip zdarsky. having sex = stopping time, which leads suzie and jon to the only logical conclusion: let’s rob some banks!

hawkeye, by matt fraction and david aja. honestly there are a lot of other artist combos in this run but the only ones that are worthwhile are the ones that have fraction and aja’s names on them - sorry not sorry.

SCIENCE FICTION

black bolt, by saladin ahmed and christian ward. saladin revived this character one hundred million percent. there is absolutely a reason this was parading around all over ‘best’ lists when it was released. it really, really did the damn thing.

saga, by brian k. vaughan and fiona staples. this is the comic you recommend to people who don’t even like comics because it is that good. like, my dad - who hadn’t read a comic since he was a pre-teen, eagerly awaits each new trade. the world-building, the characters, the care put into every single solitary bit of all the things? unparalleled. lgbt+ minor characters.

frostbite, by joshua williamson and jason shawn alexander. a post-apocalyptic story that has humanity dying from a plague that literally freezes you from the inside out. very neat, very cold, very readable. standalone.

descender, by jeff lemire and dustin nguyen. this had a rough start, for me, with the main character of the first trade being tim-21, an android who is literally incapable of having the depth to be a lead BUT that does not last through to the next trade, thank god. lots of space and found family and world-building in this to be had! but you know how people rave about jeff lemire? there’s a reason people rave about jeff lemire.

paper girls, by brian k. vaughan and cliff chiang. the 80s and time travel and lifelong friendships. it’s brian k. vaughan, you know it’s good, okay? why do i even have to sell you here, man? lgbt+ main characters.

injection, by warren ellis and declan shalvey. this is another one on my list that started out a little rough but really appealed to me later on. there was just a lot to absorb in that first trade but, once you’ve got it, the ride gets way, way smoother. lgbt+ main and minor characters.

black science, by rick remender and matteo scalera. this was a rocky start, because the main character is such an asshole but in a way where he can’t see he’s an asshole, he’s just a tortured genius who’s superior to all of you, don’t you know? but i am so glad i persevered because if that’s the set up? the rest of the series is knocking him back down. super scientist grant mckay finds a way to access the eververse, every possible reality the universe has on offer, and that’s really what causes every single problem that follows. hard to cause the apocalypse and be an arrogant prick, ya know?

CONTEMPORARY

giant days, by john allison and lissa treiman. this series is so funny and smart and warm. these girls are so kind to each other and relatable and failing at adulting regularly and often and i love reading about them. lgbt+ main character.

lumberjanes, by noelle stevenson and grace ellis and brooke a. allen. this is funny and ridiculous and kind and cool and all other awesome adjectives and you should read it, fact. lgbt+ main characters.

my brother’s husband, by gengoroh tagame and anne ishii (translator). this is such a sweet story about acceptance and family tbh. lgbt+ main character.

fence, by c. s. pacat and johanna the mad. i mean... i need to see nicholas and seiji hook-up, i need that, stat. stat means now! lgbt+ main characters.

WEB/INDEPENDENT COMICS

long exposure, by kam heyward. so mitch and jonas are my absolute faves and i love them to death and the author is so kind in that they actually put this up in print on indyplanet so i can read it the way i, personally, love to read comics (and - bonus! - support them with the monies). lgbt+ main characters.

modern dread, by pat shand and ryan fassett (editors). i’ve been trying to find more better horror comics lately so i’ve been kind of half-heartedly stumbling through kickstarter on the hunt and this was SUCH a great find. it’s an anthology but more cleverly done than any other kickstarter anthology i’ve read, with a main story line that seamlessly strings together the would-be-disjointed ones. this was really thoughtfully put together and really well done! standalone.

heartstopper, by alice oseman. a very sweet story about two high school-aged boys becoming fast friends, playing rugby and falling in love. the two characters are mentioned as an aside in the author’s book, solitaire, and she became so invested in them that she wrote their backstory as a free webcomic. lgbt+ main characters.

the pale, by jay fabares. JUST started this (like, just a day or so ago) but i’m enjoying it so far!

hotblood!, by toril orlesky. i mean... is it a webcomic about a centaur falling in love with his boss? it just might be. did i get a bound edition through a kickstarter campaign? maybe. maybe i did that. who’s to say? lgbt+ main characters.

the bay, by bbz. life on mars through the lens of three young professionals who form an odd but lasting friendship. lgbt+ main characters.

hard drive, by artroan. is it a nsfw comic about a dude and a robot? .... it might be a nsfw comic about a dude and a robot. [coughs] lgbt+ main characters.

seen nothing yet, by tess stone. a nsfw comic about two amateur ghost hunters. can’t imagine why i might be interested in that [coughs] lgbt+ main characters.

captain imani and the cosmic chase, by lin darrow and alex assan. i mean did i want a starship captain who can’t help but lust after the smuggler he’s chasing. i mean, maybe i did. maybe. lgbt+ main characters.

taproot, by keezy young. ghost falls in love with boy, boy falls in love with ghost, AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. lgbt+ main characters.

always raining here, by bell and hazel. just two boys falling in lurve. lgbt+ main characters.

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nightmaretyrantvantas · 5 years

Text

So I have a rant and a half build up of rambling about my very first Percy Jackson Oc Elysia and I need to let it spill so all of you get to hear this info dump about her and my feels

Im putting a trigger warning here I made her when I first read the whole series a few years back. Her backstory isnt the happiest. So im going to put trigger warnings for mentions of (but not going into detail of) abuse, self harm, suicidal thoughts, so if you cant handle mentions of that please dont read this I dont want to upset you

Anyways I have years of work into this bab of mine and I need to get it all out

Also An important thing to note is the timeline of her(and my other ocs) stories. Basically it kinda takes place...as if Trials of Apollo didnt happen?? Sorta? I made her before it ever came out and set her story after Blood of Olympus before trials of apollo was announced so its basically diverges after Blood of Olympus...if that makes sense...I hope it does.

So basically....At the start of her story Elysia is 13 Nico is 16(from what I remember its been about two years since I read the books so please forgive me)

Ok this might jump around alot because im kinda word vomiting and info dumping about her so if something doesnt make sense please feel free to ask me to clarify I love to

OK SO MY BAB

So her full name is Elysia Angela Melina and shes a Daughter of Hades. At the start when she gets to camp shes 13.

Im going to attatch two pictures ive drawn of her to the post here

This is her with a referrence sheet of her at 13-14 and the digital picture is one of her at the present time that I tend to write about her at age 16.

So Elysia doesnt have things easy. She comes from an abusive household that really fucked her up mentally and emotionally before she got to camp. She ran away at 13 after getting kicked out of her sixth or seventh school and thigs got ugly at home. Stuff happened and she was brought to camp(im refining and probably going to redo how that happens) and well...she doesnt exactly fit in.

Shes on the shorter side for her age and shes lanky and skinny(partially from both skipping meals and sometimes only eating when she can sneak food at home) and she comes onto the scene wearing oversized hand me downs in all dark colors and long sleeves thats got a clear fearful and insecure posture and stance and is always trying to blending into the background and hide from being noticed. Shes got a thick mane of not very well cared for black hair and eyes so dark in color they look completely black, sometimes even in the light with pretty dark bags under them highlighted by really really too pale skin. So it makes her an easy target to be bullied ya know? But she silently takes it like she always does while clutching this beat up little backpack she ran away with as shes put in the Hermes cabin until she’s claimed(which has a 1-3 day delay depending on the god, because a lot of kids come to camp especially at the start of summer)

When she gets claimed she freaks out and panics because everyone is staring at her and shes suddenly the center of attention because it happened in the middle of the campfire.

So begins the bonding with her big brother.

Shes got alot of inner turmoils and traumas and problems and inner demons and as a result she has undiagnosed anxiety disorders, depression, and some PTSD along with a very low amount of self-esteem and confidence in herself from the ordeals of before reaching camp. Though once shes at camp and she eventually settles in she starts recovering bit by bit. She slowly gets close with nico(it starts kinda awkward for both of them and she comes off really quiet and shy and terrified of sudden movement so its a little hard but they overcome it)

By the end of her first year at camp shes gotten close to Nico but has a really hard time making friends with other campers her own age so she ends up sticking close to Nico and following him like his shadow because theres a period of time that heś the only person Elysia feels even remotely safe and comfortable around. And as a result at first she spends alot more time with Nico’s friends and various members of the Big Seven and she gets close to them as well(more to her siblings at first but she gets there shes a nervous bean give her time)

Though in the middle of that first year she meets a girl that soon becomes one of her best and closest friends, a daughter of Hephaestus named Karter Becks(the second oc for this fandom I made) and I’ll get to more about their friendship later.

So by the second year at camp shes settled in a little, shes decidedly become a year-rounder because she would rather be eaten by a harpy than go back to “that horrible place”as she dubs it(not to mention its very very dangerous for her outside of camp)

More things about Elysia!!!

At thirteen she had absolutely NO control of reign of her abilities. She couldnt raise or summon the dead, her shadow travel was horribly spotty and half the time she couldnt even do so correctly and her most experience with spirits is that she can sense them and she can hear and speak to them but she cant really see them( they appear as really really blurry shapes that hurt her eyes to look at for too long) of course she beats herself up over this lack of skill, mostly because she(stupidly but understandably) compares her lack of teaching and training and beginner skill level to Nico’s at the time current skill level. Yeah its dumb and yeah in the back of her mind where her common sense is she realizes this but she cant stop herself from doing so, just like she unfairly to herself compares her sword fighting skill to older campers that have been there longer.

She eventually gets her own sword of Stygian Iron, because no matter what else she tries no other swords feel...right to her. They’re always too heavy or too light too awkward to hold dont work right with her swings or just dont feel right to her so at some point shes overthinking herself to death about it and beating herself up for being too picky when Karter suggests innocently that she tries swinging around her brother’s sword. “After all Elys, whats the worst that would happen, that it feels too heavy?”

But what ends up happening is that though its too heavy for her, it still feels...right. The best way to describe it is that she feels more connected to her powers and to herself in a way. After hearing that she gets her own of Stygian iron and its...perfect to her. Its not too heavy on her wrist or too light to wield. And afterwards she actually starts getting some more confidence which helps her improve a little faster than before.

Once Elysia is fully apart of camp life it takes a long time for it to fully click that her belongings...are hers and her likes and interests and likes are respected. They wont get taken away or threatened, she doesnt have to hide what she likes or pretend she doesnt like one thing or another. She’s free to be her own person for the first time in her life and she struggles for awhile to adjust to that and accept it. Those struggles result in alot of scattered breakdowns and even one or two...relaspes that for once in her life she has a support system of her half brother and half sister, his friends, her two close friends, and chiron to catch her and help her back to her feet. She has people to lean on and depend on and not have to be afraid of and this helps alot into her recovery and acceptance of herself and her mental illnesses. It takes her two of the three years shes been at camp for her to get at the better place shes at when shes 16, where she now has a small group of good friends, shes managed to bring up some of her self-esteem and self confidence, shes been clean for a year and shes in therapy for her PTSD and depression and shes opened up more to those around her and shes not the terrified jumps at her own shadow kid but a more quiet but kindhearted and sometimes even giggly teen whose slowly getting her life back together with plans for the future.

But on the topic of things she likes...

This girl loves-no ADORES animals, all kinds mythical or not. She didnt show it at first but she was so SOOOO excited when she realized the camp had Pegasi even though she tried to keep a distance from them because she realized she made them nervous. Oh man you shouldve SEEN her when Chiron took a group of campers her age into the woods and they caught a glimpse of a passing through unicorn. She was giddy about it for DAYS guys. She just...she has so much love and admiration and excitement for animals its so cute you guys.

Elysia also loves(ironically) learning about Mythology, from all over the world. Its her special interest and when she finds and buys a old broken touch screen phone(or one of those touch screen i-pod or something) and gets Karter to fiddle with it and (eventually after shenanigan filled misadventures of trying to upgrade it to not be detected by monsters and fix the cracked screen) she fills that thing to the brim of downloaded auidobooks of different mythologies as she can and she listens to them when doing schoolwork(she ends up having do be “homeschool” by online classes because things just do not go right when trying to attend schools outside of the protected borders)

She also loves anything soft. Especially stuffed animals. Oh my god she loves stuffed animals, well into her teens. She had one she managed to bring with her to camp that is her ultimate comfort object, a older beat up and been through a life time of ringers and back stuffed husky doll that she cherishes and takes care of like one might take care of gold. Over time (once they found out her birthday--October 5th) she starts getting stuffed animals as presents or just even as little splurges on herself . She also loves soft blankets soft clothes soft anything. She loves the texture and feel of it and it makes her happy.

She’s an aspiring writer and songwriter and can even sing a little but she has no confidence in her ability in any of those. But she has boxes and piles of notebooks and journals filled with little cartoony doodles and pages upon pages of stories and songs shes been writing for years now

Fun fact during her first year at camp Percy and Annabeth dropped by for a visit during their winter break to visit friends and I have this whole little story I might post about hoe when Percy’s walking to go meet someone he finds Elysia sitting alone at the beach doodling animals in her journal and he goes up to her(shes sitting all curled up so at a distance it probably looked like she was crying or something) to see if shes ok and because Nico had been telling him about her via iris messages and updates since she got there but he didnt get to meet her during the summer(stuff happened and she kinda hid from alot of people) but he finds her and he sits with her(after announcing his presence because Nico has told him about her being very jumpy and easily scared and that at that point hes the only one she really opens up to so dont take offense to it) and they sit for a bit and Percy asks her about her doodles and she just, for the first time like ever, she starts to open up because she gets so freaking excited and hyper about it that she just starts babbling away about her doodles and the animals of them and then about animals in general and she goes on this whole, like 30-40 minute info dump/ rant about them complete with diverting tangent questions that she answers herself before continuing with this just lit up and openly happy and ecstatic expression as she goes on and on while hes sitting there just listening to her and smiling down at her partly nostalgically because at that moment she reminds him so much of how Nico was when he first met him and you got him started on Mythomagic and that shes being so open about her excitement and then she looks at him and realizing what she was doing and she shuts herself up now panicking about how much she just word vomited on her big brother’s friend and more importantly this huge shot demigod Son of Poseidon whose saved the world not once but TWICE and who is probably very busy too busy to be hanging around with her--you get the idea of her panicking until Percy slowly reaches out his hand and she nods to let him know its ok and he ruffles her hair and tells her its ok he liked listening to her and holy shit I went on a tangent about that.

She also has alot of sweet bonding moments with Nico and Hazel because they teach her about having a loving and caring family and what thats like and its really sweet and cute and emotional

Did I mention she likes taking Nico’s shirts? Oh yeah she likes “borrowing” Nico’s shirts, and some of his jackets, mostly t-shirt and long sleeved shirts because once they get close his scent and presence really relaxes her nerves if she gets anxious. Of course its not stealing, its just borrowing and eventually giving back on laundry days...or he just lends it to her without being fully aware of it. Its cute because shes so short that they end up really big on her and she loves flapping the sleeves and the feeling of being engulfed in the safety of his presence without him even being there

ANYWAY COUGH COUGH

uhhhhhhh....yeah thats alot about her huh I think i’ll leave you all with that to take it and make sense of and I might make a part two(or you guys can ask about her too)

and yeeeeeeeeeee thats my PJO oc Elysia Melina!!

@phantommoonpeople

@kid-crashed

@demidorks (im sorry if im bothering you by tagging you youre one of the pjo blogs I follow and one of my favorites)

#percy jackson #percy jackson oc #percy jackon and the olympians #my oc #oc info #oc introduction #i guess #my art #my artwork #art wips #pjo #pjoverse #tw abuse #tw self harm mention #tw suicidal thoughts mention

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moon--mama · 6 years

Text

Bun in the Oven

The day after Betty’s due date, she knew without a shadow of a doubt that the baby was holding out until Thanksgiving.

She was past the cute pregnant stage of nesting: setting up the nursery, sobbing as she laid a tiny onesie over her belly, eating triple her weight in pickles because of an overwhelming craving. No, this was the nitty gritty stage of pregnancy—she was massive, her entire body ached, she had to pee every thirty seconds, and she couldn’t remember a time before the seemingly endless heartburn she was enduring. Jughead tried his best to make her comfortable, but she hadn’t been able to see her legs in weeks, and moving anywhere in her own home felt like maneuvering a bull through a china shop.

The largest issue with the baby being overdue, though, was that Betty and Jughead had volunteered to host Thanksgiving. Her expectation was that she would have had a week for recovery before inviting their family and friends into their home to see their newborn. Instead, baby Jones had its own plans.

She put both her hands on her swollen belly and leaned forward, looking down at the shifting baby pushing out against her skin. “Your time is up,” she said sternly, frowning. “Vacation is over. Check out was six days ago at 11 AM.”

Betty looked up at the sound of laughter from the doorway. Jughead was wiping off a measuring cup with a dish towel, his face soft as he looked at her. Unaccountably, tears began to well in her eyes. Her husband noticed, of course—he always noticed things like that—and when he started forward she couldn’t help it as they poured over her cheeks.

“Betts, don’t cry,” he said gently. Moving to her side, Jughead brushed his thumb over her cheek and wrapped his arms around her, setting the measuring cup on the couch at her side. She curled against him as best she could, her movement restricted by her aching back and bulging stomach. That just built her frustration and made her cry more, so Jughead hugged her even tighter. He smoothed one hand over her belly, drawing up her shirt and pressing his lips against her taut skin. “Stop making your mommy cry,” he admonished.

Hearing him refer to her as mommy always filled her heart with happiness. Jughead glanced up from her belly as her tears continued to flow, though she smiled down at him. “I love you,” she whispered. She ran her hand over his head, fingers drifting through his dark hair, wondering again if their baby would have his hair or hers. But her mind was focused more acutely on their impending dinner—the dinner she’d been planning on cooking.

Jughead kissed her belly once more and rose, picking up the measuring cup. Reluctantly, he said, “We’re out of brown sugar. Can I substitute regular sugar, or should I go get some?”

She frowned, absently running her hands over her stomach as the baby shifted in its father’s absence. It seemed like the two of them already had a bond, since the baby always pushed out a hand or a foot in response whenever Jughead touched her stomach. Mentally running over everything that needed to be cooked involving brown sugar, she said, “Have you started the sweet potatoes?”

He shook his head. “I was still working on pie filling.”

Betty shifted, starting the Herculean feat of getting up. “I’ll go get it, you need to keep going on the vegetables.”

Jughead started forward, helping her get her balance. “You can’t go by yourself, Betty. What if something happens while you’re out? I’m going with you.”

She put her hands on her lower back, trying to relieve some of the pressure, and narrowed her eyes at him. This was exactly why she was so frustrated. Betty knew he was right, but that didn’t mean she liked it. “We have people coming over in a few hours, Jug. You have to keep cooking, or nothing will be ready in time.”

He looked at her thoughtfully. Setting the cup and towel down on the kitchen counter, he slid his phone out of his pocket and began to text.

“I’ll get Dad to pick some up and come by early. Just relax, baby. I’ve got this.”

She moved herself to a closer chair. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Jughead to pull everything together, but cooking a Thanksgiving feast was beyond what he usually had to do in the kitchen. She could chop vegetables or stir something or—

Jughead deposited a book into her hands with a meaningful look. Before she could protest, he leaned down and repeated, “I’ve got this.”

Betty bit her lower lip but opened the book to her page, accepting that he wasn’t going to let her help.

A few minutes later, her father-in-law arrived with a bag of brown sugar and a massive smile. He handed his son the ingredient and crossed through the kitchen to give Betty a hug before she could struggle out of her chair. “How are you doing?” he asked, glancing down at her belly.

Betty sighed heavily. “I’m ready to meet this baby,” she said, letting some of her irritation grate out in her tone.

FP gave her a sympathetic look. “I remember, Gladys was so mad when Jug was late. I think we walked down every street in this town, trying to get things started.”

She started to push herself up. “Is that what I need to do?”

He laughed. “Let me help with dinner, and you can take Jughead hiking tomorrow. What time is your mom coming over?”

Betty glanced down at the screen of her phone. “She should be here with Polly and the twins in about an hour.”

FP’s eyebrows rose. “I’m going to help, so we should be on time. You just relax, and let us know if you need anything.”

With that, he turned back to the kitchen and began helping Jughead cut up carrots and green beans. Betty tried to focus on her book, but instead she kept glancing up at the two men working side by side. She’d seen Jughead and FP interact many times over the years, of course—so it was probably just her hormones—but Betty swiped at her cheeks in irritation as she felt herself starting to cry again.

FP elbowed Jughead a bit, nodding his head toward her. Wiping his hands on a towel, her husband left the kitchen and came to her side. “Betts, it’s okay—“ he started to say.

She interrupted with a wave of her hand. “I’m fine, it’s stupid that I’m crying anyway. I was just thinking that it’s so sweet that your dad is helping you—and maybe one day our baby will be there with you—“

He squeezed her hand, smiling. “I’m sure they will. It’s not stupid. Try to relax, though.”

Before she could respond, she heard the sound of their door opening. “FP Jones, I didn’t know that you could use a whisk,” said the voice of her mother, tinged with amusement.

With a little extra help from her mom, while Polly kept the twins amused, they managed to get the table set with all the side dishes and delicacies that went along with the holiday for their respective families. For the Jones men, that was a side of green beans with almonds that FP’s mother used to make every year. For Betty’s family, it was the sweet potato recipe she’d gotten from her mother last year when they’d hosted Thanksgiving for the first time.

They talked and laughed together well into the evening. Polly and her mom gave Betty empathetic glances across the table, helping to clear the table so that she didn’t have to ponderously lumber back and forth from the kitchen to the dining table. Before they left for the evening, Betty’s mom gave her a hug and reminded her to call if anything happened.

Betty curled up with Jughead in the couch as best she could, letting him press his ear against her belly. The baby promptly kicked his cheek, making a grin spread across his face.

“I think they waited until they got their turkey dinner,” she grumbled. “This baby already loves food as much as their daddy.”

Jughead just rubbed her belly again. The baby pressed hard in response, rolling again and making Betty shift uncomfortably. Her husband leaned up and kissed her, his lips pressing gently against hers, hand still holding her belly. “I think mommy is my favorite dish, though. You’re so beautiful, Betty. I don’t know what I did to deserve you in my life.”

She sighed happily. “You deserve every good thing in the world in your life. You’re amazing.”

In the middle of the night, Betty sat bolt upright. “Jug,” she said, shaking his shoulder. He opened his eyes, blinking at her in confusion for a moment before fully awakening.

“Is it time?” he asked. Betty nodded, her heart pounding. Jughead threw aside the blankets. With a smile that lit up his whole face, he said, “Let’s go meet our baby.”

#camp bughead #campbughead #day 27: bun in the oven #bughead fanfiction #jughead jones #betty cooper #bughead #riverdale fanfiction #future canon

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bluboothalassophile · 6 years

Note

Hello Blu!!! Blu, I'd like to ask you, what if exist a flashpoint like in Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox (in your mind/your point of view), for ex: What if Jason had been saved by Bruce, what would have change in this flashpoint paradox? What other things/people would have changed? What do you think of this? Sorry just a random question that came to me ^^ and i'd like to know your opinion! ^^

Hello,

In a flashpoint where Jason lives instead of dying… Alright, well, I’ve thought a lot about this. I even have a story on the parameters of if Jason had lived rather than dying, but that’s a bit closer to the Arkham Knight AU for what happened to Jay.

Anyways, B would save Jason, he wasn’t late, but Jason’s still in critical. I HC that B managed to save Jason but couldn’t save Shelia so that bitch dies in the very explosion she was meant to die in (a moment of silence as we mourn the bitch… okay back to business).

Jason is rushed into a hospital, coma, rehab, years of work to come back; because he’s not magic. Dick is now growing the fuck up and pulling his head out of his ass and trying to be a big brother to Jason as Jason struggles through PT. Alfred forces the family to see a shrink (JL or other), traumas are addressed rather than manifesting unhealthily. Alfred finally just had enough of this shit and said they would see a shrink; all because Jason’s brush with death scared decades off him, and B, and they both see the value now in maybe growing up and addressing the traumas. Also, B doesn’t blame Jay, especially not after he finds out about Sheila.

They address Jason’s trust issues, inferiority feelings, how he felt when they isolated him and were going to take Robin away from him. Dick gets to talk about his needs to grow up, spread his wings, be himself, and address his anger issues and maybe they’ll also talk about his relationship with and his feelings about Jason and how Jason IS NOT his replacement. B never develops his god complex, because God Knows That Man Is Merely A Man! It’s fucking annoying too, B feels that.

I think that Dick and Jay work on becoming brothers through Jay’s PT, movie nights, Titans actually properly meet Jay, books, books, more books, and Jay might even get to go to that school dance he wanted to go to. Even if he’s pushed into the dance in a wheelchair. Dick’s Titans, Garth, Roy, Donna, Lilith, and Wally completely support Jason’s role as Robin now. Yes, Jason still is crushing on Donna, but she’s out of his league and she finds it sweet.

In that time, I think Tim finds the Waynes, and I think Tim and Jay bond; tight and fast, Dick’s actually stepping up to be a big brother. Tim becomes Robin, Jason focuses on PT; resentments about that situation are addressed and Jason doesn’t have that festering wound of being replaced.

Tim is now the baby brother, and Dick and Jay adore him. They like teasing Tim, and drawing Tim out of his shell, maybe even doing normal brother shit, like beating up Tim’s bullies, rough housing with him, and even possibly formally telling Jack Drake to fuck off, Tim’s their baby brother. I think with that in mind, B legally goes about adopting Tim, and Tim is shocked at this news. They have a huge family dinner to make the announcement, and Tim cries like a baby in joy (No one will ever say anything about that, because Tim’s family).

Stephanie comes barrelling into the family (Jay’s starting to go back into the field; possibly under a different name, Red Bird, or Bluejay or something). Dick and Jason torture Tim about his crush on Stephanie, and they adore Stephanie. B tolerates her still, and maybe tries hard. Stephanie never becomes Robin, staying Spoiler, and she practically lives at the mansion. She trains with the boys, plays with them, and is never adopted because of Tim’s feelings for her, also B might like her but she’s so not his kid. Babs takes a real liking to Stephanie, and takes Steph under her wing, even presenting Batgirl to Stephanie when she’s older.

Yes, we still find Cass, or better Cass finds them, and she’s adopted by them. Babs is still Oracle. The Batfamily; whilst dysfunctional in different ways, is functioning, and they are recovering. B adores her; obviously and she’s his favorite child; the boys all know this and they adore her. The boys are also painfully aware that Cass can do no wrong in B’s eyes, and could probably get away with murder, they can never get away with anything.

Jason never clashes with Joker; and Joker is a quadriplegic, blind and mute after B is done with him. [I Know There are ways to incapacitate Joker without killing the fucker, so B can stay on his ‘No Kill’ rule and Joker is fucking gone from the depths of nightmares and on a painful trip to Hell]. Joker dwindles into nothing more than a nightmarish memory on Gotham’s psyche.

Jay and Roy become BFFs during his PT and Roy’s recovery, and get into a shit ton of antics still. Jason never makes that first kill, but is still reckless, he even acquires the All-Blades; though no one knows how he accomplished that. Alfred is the one who teaches Jay to shoot, it’s a coping mechanism to make Jay feel some form of control and safety. No, he does not use guns on his patrols, opting to stick to B’s methods and the swords.

Jason becomes a Titan, on a team with Raven, Eddie Bloomberg, Conner Hawk, Kyle Rayner and Koriand’r on his team. Jason torments Dick about this when Kori crashes here and Dick’s tripping over his tongue and feet around her. Tim just finds it hilarious too.

Dick and Babs never work out, but they stay friends, and Dick eventually marries Kori. Babs and Kori are great friends, and have a girls weekend once a month (Babs is Mar’i and Jake’s aunt, Raven’s still their godmother and Wally their godfather).

B and Talia never get back together, instead their fall out is of epic proportions when B finds out about Damian. The Bats take Dami in without questions.

Damian still clashes violently with Tim, Jason beats Damian up though and Dick comforts Damian. Damian still bonds closest to Dick, while Tim and Jay both leave the demon spawn to Dick. Tim will never admit this but he totally slept in Jason’s room for the first year after Damian moved in; after that first night and he was violently woken up by Damian’s attempt to murder him. Jason is Tim’s favorite brother at that point.

They adopt Duke a year after Damian, Dick and Jason actually insist on this; with Cass’ help, and Duke is dragged into the lunacy of the Bats.

Cass and Stephanie are BFFs, and they work closely with Oracle, they are Orphan and Batgirl, and together all of Gotham’s criminals fear purple glitter bombs, and ass-kickings. The girls are the ones who stumble over Harper Row and her brother, Cullen, and they quickly accumulate Harper and Cullen into their little group. B has no idea what to think about this, but everyone knows he’ll never say no to Cass.

Tim becomes a Titan, on a team with Kon, Bart, Cassandra Sandsmark, Zachary Zatara, Tanya Spears.

Kate joins their ranks, but is not permitted her firearms, in fact, she is the biggest clashing force in the Bats with B. But B, and the family are firm on their No Killing policy and their No Fire Arms. In fact, this is almost a fall out for Kate and B until the Bats have to save Kate, and they kind of make it clear that if she’s in she’s all in exactly how they want. If not, she’s no Bat.

Luke joins into the Bats too, though that’s completely accidental as he’s only interested in saving his father at the time. But he kind of falls hard for Babs, and sticks around. He’s also the buffer for Tim when it comes to keeping his secret as Red Robin from Tammy, though Luke vastly disapproves of tihs. But neither of them want Tammy in the Batfamily world; it’s dangerous. Luke and Tim also save Tammy from Bane’s venom, with the aid of Stephanie when that rolls around.

B marries Cat. No heartache or heart break there, they are married, almost a year after what happened to Jason because they realize: Life Is Too Fucking Short.

Jason gets into Princeton, he’s always at the top of his class and involved with athletics and vigilant life. He’s not a lady’s man like Dick was before Kori, but he’s good with the ladies, and has a lot of girls who are his friends. He’s not Mr. Popular but the world has finally stopped comparing him to Dick. Jason’s time in Princeton is huge! The family is extremely proud of Jay and they are vocal in their pride, even being the dorky family cheering at his graduation. Jason did punch Dick for that, and caught Tim in a headlock as Stephanie glitter bombed them both for having a banner there. Cass has the photographic evidence of this. Damian just clicked his tongue in disapproval before Dick glitter bombed him too. Duke was Cass’s perch for the glitter bombing so, he was safe from all glitter bombs. Over all though, it’s good times.

Jason later goes to Harvard to study medicine, which he’s really excelling at. He wants to be an ER doc, to help people shortly after their trauma, knowing the importance of quick actions after extensive damage.

Tim and Tammy get engaged. Tammy is furious when she finds out she engaged a Bat, but she’s mostly upset he didn’t trust her enough to say something.

Cass does become a ballerina, and still takes acting classes from Clayface.

Babs and Luke eloped; a weekend in Atlantic City neither of them really remember.

Tim and Tammy break up though when Tim moves to San Francisco to be with the Titans more.

Duke goes to Princeton after Jay, and meets Claire, they start dating.

Damian becomes a Titan, he’s on a team with Kaldur’ahm, Garfield, Wallace West, Jon Kent (for whom he is falling for almost painfully), Djinn and Emiko Queen.

Helena was born at some point, she’s adored and the center of the family’s eyes, even Damian fell for her. He’s also a sucker for Mar’i and Jake (though he’d soon eat glass than say that).

Jason finds Terry and Matt, by accident after they lost their parents in a wreck and were at the hospital Jay. The DNA testing showed Terry and Matt were B’s kids, so he kind of brings them home. B goes off on Waller for this violation, and the using of his DNA to create the boys.

Babs and Luke adopt Carrie Kelley and Nell Little, bringing them into the Bats when they can’t keep Carrie out of it.

Life continues on though, and they keep going. They are a family. They aren’t perfect, the Bats are far from perfect, they still have epic blow outs, and fights, also huge feuds but they are a family. They banned together after Jay’s near brush with death and didn’t travel down that morbid rabbit hole of self destruction and god complexes of inadequacy.

#bluboothalassophile #hello reader #ask me anything #ask me questions #feel free to ask questions #batfamily jay lives au

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cristinablackthornkingson · 6 years

Text

Shadowhunter’s Short Story #27.

CW: Mention of sexual assault, mention of abuse in pregnancy.

It was the year 2037 and Tessa Carstairs was sitting in the large living room of her New York home, on a 3 seater black leather sofa, in front of the fireplace, reading a new book Jem had gifted her for their anniversary a few weeks back. As Tessa turns the page of her book, from down the hall comes the timid voice of her second eldest child, Rose.

“Mama, can I talk to you?” Rose calls, as she nears the living room.

The tone of Rose’s voice made her sound like a little girl again, and Tessa’s mind drifted back thirty years.

Jem had just came out of The Brotherhood and had been cured of his yin fen addiction and he and Tessa had finally been reunited.

They had been married for 8 blissful years when they decided to start trying for a baby. Within the year Tessa was pregnant with a healthy baby boy, who was immediately named William Henry Carstairs.

Was it that long ago? Tessa silently mused to herself, as she started remembering every major event within the last 30 years.

________________________________________________________________

Tessa’s pregnancy with Will was very smooth and complication free, she and the baby remained very healthy throughout the entire pregnancy. She had a calm, peaceful home delivery at 38 weeks with Jem by her side and their private midwife delivering their son.

William was a very healthy, happy baby and he brought complete joy to his parents lives.

When Will was 2 and clattering around the house, keeping his parents on their toes, Tessa found out she was once again pregnant, this time with a little girl. She and Jem could not settle on a name for their daughter the entire pregnancy, they threw around so many lovely names but could never settle on one.

Lily? No. Carly? No. Katie? No. Hazel? No. Ruby? Maybe. Ruth? No.

This back and forth of names continued on, right through the pregnancy and through Tessa’s labor and the baby’s birth, until Tessa was cradling their sweet little girl in her arms, and they saw her rosie red cheeks. Neither of them had ever met a baby with such lovely rosie cheeks before, and when their midwife commented on the baby’s rosie cheeks, Tessa and Jem both instantly knew that this little one’s name was always meant to be Rose. Rose Charlotte Carstairs.

Rose and Will were very, very, close, despite their complete opposite personalities. Will, much like his father, was very quiet and calm, he loved sitting with Tessa and listening to stories and attempting to read, he loved listening to Jem play his violin, he adored cuddling with both his parents, in fact he was very clingy toward Tessa and Jem and always wanted to be held, he did not like it when they put him down, and you can bet if one of them were upstairs on an important phone call, or doing some important work, they would end up finishing the task with Will on their hip.

Will had crawled very little as a baby, he mostly liked to sit up and take in his surroundings, so it surprised both his parents greatly, when one day at 14 months old, Will pulled himself up and take a few steady steps toward Alec, who had been visiting with Magnus and their boys.

Rose on the other hand, was full of life and energy, she never liked to sit still, and when Tessa and Jem told her stories, she preferred to be up on her feet, acting out the sequences, jumping around and yelling at the top of her lungs.

She was no where near as clingy as her big brother, she was always eager to get around on her own and do things her own way, as a baby she preferred to be laid on a blanket on the floor and left to her own devices, she often put herself to sleep after laying in her crib happily gurgling and babbling to herself for an hour or so, she simply tired herself out and conked out for 6 or 7 hours.

Rose had crawled rapidly but only for a short time, she walked much earlier than Will, though not for long either, Rose didn’t like to walk, she much preferred to run everywhere, often times tripping up, but more often than not, she would simply laugh, pick herself back up and carry on.

When Rose was 3, Tessa fell pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl, and she once again had a very smooth pregnancy. Though she could not have her 5th home birth, as the twins decided they simply couldn’t wait another entire month to meet their family, and so at 8 months pregnant, Tessa went in labor and it could not be stopped. After 7 hours of labor, Tessa safely delivered her 3rd daughter, Hailey Grace Carstairs who weighted a small 5lbs 8oz, and was followed minutes later by her brother, Nathaniel Lucas Carstairs, who weighed an equally small 5lbs 10oz, making Hailey Tessa’s smallest baby out of 6. Thankfully the twins were otherwise healthy and quickly gained weight, meaning they did not have to stay in the hospital longer than a few days.

Rose and Will adored their baby sister and brother, they loved cuddling them and helping to feed them, since they were so small Tessa had chosen to supplement them with formula as well as breastfeed them.

As they grew, the siblings remained very close and very protective of each other.

William was now 18 and had almost completed his training as a Shadowhunter and would soon be heading off on his travel year and though Tessa and Jem would miss him terribly, they were also incredibly proud of him.

Rose was now 16 and had remained a happy, energetic young woman, she was still training to become a Shadowhunter, she mostly trained in The New York Institute with Clary and Jace as her instructors, but she also attended The Academy in Idris part-time.

They twins were 13 and had only just begun their training to become Shadowhunters, though they were both naturals, especially Nate, who at only 13, could have easily beat Cecily or Will in a sword fight.

Hailey’s weapon of choice was a bow and arrow, and like her brother, there was no denying her natural talent.

______________________________________________________________

Tessa is pulled back from her thoughts as Rose sits beside her on the sofa.

“Of course we can talk sweetheart, is everything alright?” Tessa asks in a calm tone, setting her book down beside her and turning her attention to Rose. She immediately notices Rose’s bloodshot eyes and the puffiness around them, meaning she had been crying and lost sleep, and recently. Oh God maybe everything wasn’t okay.

“Mama, I.... um.... remember a few months ago when I told you I started dating this guy from The Academy? His name is Jason Townsend.” Rose quietly asks. Tessa’s heart leaps into her mouth at the mention of Rose’s boyfriend. Had he hurt her? Could he have.... violated her? Tessa had helped many young girls before who had been hurt in the worst way possible, but to help her daughter through that would be something else entirely.

“Yes baby, did he hurt you?” Tessa gently asks, grasping her daughter’s hand and praying that Rose was simply upset over a breakup and had not become this boy’s victim.

“No, no he didn’t.” Rose whispers, shaking her head, dark ringlets falling into her pale face. Tessa felt a weight lift from her chest, but she knew something still wasn’t right.

“But that’s not all.” Subconsciously Tessa had a terrible feeling of where this was going. She had also consoled many young girls who had fallen pregnant at a young age, she had helped them decide what choice was right, if they chose to have a termination Tessa often went with them and cared for them during their recovery, if they chose adoption, Tessa helped them find adoptive parents and agencies and was often present at the birth, and if they chose to keep the baby, Tessa helped them find a good doctor and midwife, helped them find a job that would provide them with maternity leave, and helped them find a place to live. She also provided them with baby clothes and such, and usually helped them out in the first few weeks after the baby was born, she had done it all, but again, it would be entirely different with her own daughter.

“Tell me.” Tessa softly says, gently rubbing soothing circles on Rose’s back.

“I’m pregnant.” Rose quietly says, in a strained, wobbly tone. Tessa’s heart sank. She had made sure Rose and Will knew the importance of Birth Control and in a few years she would make sure Nate and Hailey did too, of course there was every chance Rose had used contraception and it had failed, that was how she herself was conceived, she was a happy surprise. But Tessa and Jem had been ready for another child, they only had Will and were financially stable, they had each other, they had their own home, they knew how to care for a baby, Rose is the exact opposite.

Tessa reaches for her daughter and holds her tight to her, smoothing her hair down.

“Oh Rosie.” Tessa softly says, squeezing her daughter tightly.

“I don’t know what to do mama!” Rose sobs out, as her voice begins to break and her tears soak Tessa’s white blouse, making it semi-translucent. “Sorry, mama.” Rose hiccups, as she notices the translucent stain on her mother’s blouse.

“It’s alright Ru, it’s just a blouse, I’ve had worse happen to me before.” Tessa softly says, pulling her daughter back to her.

“Mama I really don’t know what to do.” Rose whispers, squeezing her eyes shut as tears trickled down her face.

Tessa could practically feel her heart break for her daughter, she couldn’t imagine what she was feeling, how scared she was, how confused she was.

“Oh baby, you have every option out there, your dad and I will support you no matter what you decide.” Tessa says in a soothing voice.

“R-really?” Rose asks, in a tight, pained voice, unsure if she could really believe what she was hearing. Her parents were from a traditional time and though they never really showed they still had traditional values, Rose would be surprised if they didn’t. Surely their daughter having a baby out of wedlock would shame them and they would want nothing more to do with her, or her baby?

“Yes baby, really.You don’t have to make up your mind right now, this is a huge decision and you need to take your time in making it, is Jason going to be involved?” Tessa softly asks, although she already knew the answer.

I haven’t heard from him since, I haven’t seen him at The Academy, he doesn’t answer my letters or texts or anything! I’m going to have to do this alone!” Rose wails, Tessa tightens her arms around Rose and firmly says

“No Rose, you will not have to do anything alone, no matter what decision you make your dad and I will be here by your side and so will your brothers and sister, no matter what happens you will not be alone.”

“Jason broke up with me when he found out about the baby and I haven’t heard from him since.” Rose says in a strained voice.

That did not make Tessa one bit happy.

“Well, your father still has connections within The Silent City, The Silent Brothers could track this boy down for you, if your dad asked them to, he needs to take responsibility.” Tessa said in a tone tinged with anger. She hated irresponsible people, especially irresponsible fathers. When Cordelia had fallen pregnant with Owen it was not planned, but Jamie stood by her and cared for and loved her and their son, he took full responsibility like the man he was.

“Papa would do that... for me?” Rose asks in a broken tone, which then went up half an octave with a hopeful undertone to it. She knew her father loved her and cared about her, she never doubted that, but would he really go to such lengths to get justice for her, and make her feel better?

“Brother Enoch is a friend.” Tessa states, holding her daughter’s hand. “And yes, for you, your father would do anything.”

Later that day, Tessa sat with Rose and held her hand as she told Jem she was pregnant and the father had disappeared.

This was something Rose did not want to do, but it’s not like she could hide it forever.

Like Tessa, Jem was heartbroken for his daughter and worried sick about her, but he supported her completely no matter what her choice. Rose was greatly relieved that her parents supported her, she knew she would have a hard time making a choice, she didn’t know if she was ready to be a mother, much less a single mother, but she also already loved the baby growing inside her and felt a bond with them, she didn’t know if she could end the pregnancy or have someone else raise her baby, when she thought about a little boy or girl, who looked just like her, calling her mama and reaching for her and wanting snuggles with her, her heart swelled. She was slowly falling in love with the idea of being a mother, but was it the right choice?

________________________________________________________________

“Are you alright Tess? You really don’t seem yourself tonight, you normally aren’t so distant and quiet.” Jem tentatively asks his wife, as they lay in bed that night. Normally they talked about anything and everything at this time, whether it be how much they missed William and everyone else from London, how grateful they were to be together again, or how proud they were of their kids, but tonight Tessa was quiet and withdrawn, though Jem could hardly blame her, he himself was still reeling from the shock of Rose announcing her pregnancy, he never expected it from Rose, she had never shown interest in having a relationship until she met Jason earlier this year and even then Jem knew she was a responsible young girl, but accidents happened and birth control wasn’t and isn’t 100% reliable, especially the birth control rune, which only been developed a few decades ago, which is not much in comparison to all the other ageless runes.

“Yes I’m fine, just... thinking.” Tessa quietly says, trailing off as she becomes lost in her thoughts again.

“About Rosie’s pregnancy?” Jem gently asks, settling on his side so he was facing Tessa, who was also lying on her side, her left arm tucked under her pillows.

“She wants you to ask Brother Enoch to find him, but she’s too embarrassed to ask.” Tessa quietly says.

“I’ll ask him in the morning.” Jem softly says. “What else are you thinking about?” Jem quietly asks, after a few seconds of silence.

“What would’ve happened to Rose if she were in this situation only a few decades ago in Ireland, if she didn’t have us. I can’t stop thinking about all those poor girls in The Magdalene Laundries, being punished and abused for simply being unmarried mothers, sometimes they didn’t even do anything, their guardians could just think they were doing something they shouldn’t be doing, and could throw them into those prisons for the rest of their lives.” Tessa says in a despairing tone, tears dripping down her pale face.

In the 1960s, Tessa had heard about the atrocities being committed to young, unwed mothers in Ireland. She couldn’t sit by and do nothing about it, so she made her way to Ireland, firstly to Dublin, determined to help these young women, to help them avoid the laundries and to help them get out of there. She could use her abilities to pose as a family relative come to get them out. She had spent 30 years there, helping young women and their babies escape and avoid that hell.

As she thought about Rose and her situation, she was pulled back into a memory of a particular girl she helped escape from a Magdalene Laundry in Dublin in the early 70s.

________________________________________________________________

It was 1972 and Tessa had been in Ireland helping young women all over the country avoid the fate of The Magdalene Laundries or helping them escape by using her abilities to pose as a relative, not someone they could immediately trace though, she usually said she was a long-lost cousin or a distant aunt or something of the like.

So far she had helped many, many young women to avoid or escape their fate in those hell holes. She couldn’t help all of them, unfortunately, some had mothers and fathers who would throw them straight back into the laundries, but she helped who she could.

She usually gained the girls’ trust by standing by the gate of The Laundries, where there were usually washing lines, and usually plenty of girls hanging and taking in laundry. There was usually a line not too far form the gate, so Tessa could stand just around the corner from the gate so as not to be seen by the relentless nuns, and so the girls could continue on with their work and not raise suspicion.

Recently she had met a 20 year old girl named Eimear O’Rourke, she was 6 months pregnant, the father was her long-term boyfriend Darragh Murphy, they were a serious couple and had plans to get engaged and married once Eimear turned 21. As it turns out they couldn’t wait that long to be together physically, they thought one night would mean nothing, but it did, and Eimear fell pregnant. The moment her parents found out, they threw her in here. She tried to escape once, but when the nuns caught her, they beat her senseless and shaved her head, claiming she was too ugly to run off anywhere now. Tessa’s heart broke for this young girl, she, nor anyone else in here, deserved this kind of treatment. Tessa had taken on the disguise of a middle aged woman, with shoulder length auburn hair, tanned skin, bright blue eyes and a large build. She had changed into this woman only once, she was the sister of a client Magnus had referred to her, who had been killed by her husband, her sister wanted to know why she had not told them about the abuse she was suffering from her husband, and how long it had been going on.

After speaking to Eimear almost everyday for two weeks, Tessa had gained her trust and her consent to pose as her long-lost cousin and come take her away from this hell hole and help her get on her feet and get ready for her baby.

Thankfully it hadn’t been too difficult to get Eimear out, the nuns bought her claim of being Eimear’s long-lost cousin who had come to take her out. Eimear quickly packed the few things she had and Tessa took her back to the small home she had purchased in Dublin, about an hour from The Laundries. She helped her find a job that she would be given paid maternity leave from, and helped her find childcare for the baby and accommodation for her and the baby, she couldn’t stay with Tessa forever, however much they may both like that. Tessa helped Eimear until her baby son Connor was a month old, by that point Eimear felt able to cope on her own, she thanked Tessa profusely for all her help.

In years to come, Tessa would be greatly reminded of this young woman, by the daughter she thought she’d never have, just as Rose was lively and energetic, full of love and compassion and fiercely loyal, so was Eimear, once she recovered a bit from all the abuse she was subjected to in The Laundries, her personality began to shine through, and she began to blossom like a rose. She loved her son fiercely and would go to any and all lengths to protect him, just as Tessa’s little Rose loved her family fiercely and would go through hell for them.

_______________________________________________________________

Two weeks after Rose had broken the news of her pregnancy, she made up her mind to keep the baby, she knew she was ready to be a mother, though she was young and her baby would grow up without a father, she knew she would never be alone.

Brother Enoch had tracked Jason down in Spain, whatever he said to him clearly frightened Jason and he begrudgingly offered to marry Rose and raise the baby with her. There was nothing Rose wanted less, she did not love Jason and she knew he certainly did not love her or their baby, if they were married Rose had no doubt Jason would have affairs left, right and center and barely pay attention to the baby. She would rather her child have one parent who was always there then two and one being in and out of their lives.

She had declined his offer and told him she had only asked Brother Enoch to track him down so she knew for a fact whether or not he would be a deadbeat, she was only too happy to let him go off and live his life, she and her baby would be just fine without him.

Staying true to their word, Tessa and Jem supported their daughter wholeheartedly in her decision. They went with her to The Silent City for her first check-up (They went with her to all her check ups) where she learned she was two months pregnant and carrying a healthy baby girl.

Tessa and Jem bought Rose and the baby everything they could possibly need and help her set up a bassinet in her room and helped find a space for all the baby’s things, their home was by no means small, nor was Rose’s room, but a baby and all their things took up a lot of room, but Tessa and Jem were willing to turn the entire house into a nursery for their granddaughter.

As her pregnancy progressed Rose became less and less able to keep up with her training either in New York or Idris, of course Jace and Clary were completely understanding of her need to stop for a few months and were happy for her to take as much time off as she needed and when she was ready to start up again, they would be waiting for her.

However The Dean of The Academy was not so accepting, not at first anyway, but after a conversation with Jem and kind words put in by valuable council members like Alec, Izzy, Simon, Clary and Jace, Rose was able to take a leave of absence and pause on her training at The Academy and would be welcomed back when she was ready, however she would have to be tested again to ensure her skills were still up to par, but Rose didn’t mind, she would prove to them that being a mother didn’t mean she couldn’t be a good hunter.

Rose was very thankful to have a relatively smooth pregnancy, she did have some terrible morning sickness in the first trimester, and was quiet fatigued throughout the pregnancy, but nothing worse.

Now Rose was 9 months pregnant and due in a week. At present, she was sitting in Taki’s with her close friend Emily Bridgestock, she had met Emily in The Academy and they’d become close friends almost instantly. Emily was absolutely beautiful, they had amazing dark skin, wide brown eyes, smooth, glossy, long, black hair and a plump frame. Rose had to admit she was beginning to feel attracted to Emily, Emily was pansexual and Rose was bisexual, Emily was also agender, and asked Rose and everyone else to use they/them pronouns when referring to them, which Rose was more than happy to do.

Rose had been feeling off all day, she been experiencing twinge’s of pain in her stomach and back all day, but it never even occurred to her that she could be in labor.

“Rosie are you alright?” Emily asks in a concerned tone, pulling Rose from her thoughts.

“Y-yeah, just not feeling great.” Rose says, wincing and pressing a hand to her belly as another pain hits.

“Maybe you should go home and lie down for a while, maybe sleep for a bit.” Emily gently says, concerned for their friend’s well being.

Two hours later, Rose wakes up to a damp feeling beneath her. Furrowing her brow in confusion, she pushes herself up on her elbows and heaves herself from the bed. She looks at her sheets to see the white fabric stained dark with something. Rose’s first thought is that she had wet herself, but there’s no foul smell from the liquid on her sheets, that’s when she realizes that her waters have broken. Panic consumes her, as she realizes she’s in labor and she has no idea how long she’s been in labor for, she’s in a lot of pain, could she be about to give birth right this minute?

Rose rushes to the other side of the room and throws the door open, relieved to see her father just about to make his way downstairs.

“Dad!” Rose calls, in a shrill, panicked tone.

“Rosie? What’s wrong?” Jem gently asks in a tone of concern at seeing his daughter standing in her doorway with a look of panic on her face and blood staining her grey pajama bottoms.

“The baby’s coming, right now!”

Luckily Rose’s labor was not as progressed as she thought it was, there was just enough time to call the midwife who had been helping Rose through her pregnancy, and who had agreed to deliver the baby.

Rose had been expecting a long and painful labor and though it was painful, it wasn’t long. She only pushed for 2 hours, which was very quick for a first labor. Jem and Tessa stayed by Rose’s side the entire time, while Will and the twins waited downstairs.

After two long hours of labor, Rose finally felt a weight lift from her and a baby’s screams pierced the afternoon air.

Only seconds after giving birth, the midwife placed the tiny, squirming, screaming baby on her chest. Rose instantly felt a rush of love for her daughter, and pulled her close, pressing her lips to her blood-soaked hair and cradling her tiny little body against her chest.

“Oh Rosie, she’s perfect.” Jem says in a soft-spoken tone, tears of joy and pride threatening to spill from his eyes.

Rose nods as tears well up in her own eyes and she basks in this amazing feeling of love she feels for her daughter.

“Yeah, she really is.” Rose says in a tight tone, gently stroking the baby’s bloody cheek.

“What will you name her?” Tessa gently asks, softly stroking her granddaughter’s little locks of dark hair, just like her mother’s and grandfather’s.

“Olivia Jade Carstairs.”

Right from the start, Rose was a wonderful mother, she clearly adored Olivia and loved her more than anything, she would do anything for her, and loved spending time with her daughter.

Olivia was a joy to everyone around her, she adored her grandparents, who aided in raising her, like her mother, uncles and aunt, she loved hearing stories about Will, Charlotte, Henry, etc. She loved hearing about her Uncle Jamie and Aunty Lucie and everything else about Tessa and Jem’s lives in London.

Often when Rose put Olivia to bed, she thought about how devastated she was when she had found out she was pregnant with her, how terrified and unsure she was, she couldn’t possibly fathom the idea of not having this sweet little girl in her life, Olivia simply made her mother’s life and completed her family.

Thank you to my friend Taliesin The Eternal Bard over on Fanfiction.net, who helped me greatly with this story!

#tessa gray #jem carstairs #jemxtessa #william herondale #Cecily Herondale #the mortal instruments #the shadowhunter chronicles #clary fairchild #Jace Herondale #the silent brothers #shadowhunters #cassandra clare #brother enoch

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becuzpurple · 7 years

Text

Hospital - A One-Shot (pt 1 of 2)

I was asked for some Cuddly/Caring Ed and came up with this idea. The bulk of the cuddles and caring will actually come in part 2, though (sorry!).

I wrote a part of this from Ed’s point-of-view for the first time, which was really weird for me since I’m so used-to and comfortable using Kate’s voice. But she was unavailable (you’ll see why soon), so Ed needed to step up!

Enjoy!

Something was definitely not right. I’d had a stomachache since late morning. It was just below and to the left of my belly button at first, and then it traveled right. Eating didn’t help, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t intestinal pain, either. Painkillers did nothing - it actually got worse as the day went on. It was unfamiliar to me - I’d never felt pain quite like it before.

We’d had plans to visit my parents that evening, and celebrate my mom’s birthday. I wasn’t sure if I should cancel or not, or maybe just stay home and let Ed take the kids without me. But I decided to suck it up and go. At about 4 pm we all piled into the car and made the short ride over to my parents’ house.

My mother loves to cook. And even more than that, she loves to feed people. The old adage ‘Food is Love’ is a motto she lives by. Even though it was for her own birthday celebration, she happily spent all day preparing a delectable feast for her loved ones. She said that seeing her family together around the table enjoying both each other’s company and the meal she prepared for us was all she needed.

But not even my mom’s lasagna could fix this. I didn’t feel like I could keep much food down, so I just picked at it, taking a few small bites here and there. The pain was still getting worse.

Ed said I looked pale. He was concerned, as were my parents. My sister-in-law Amy, a nurse, was the first to mention that maybe I should go to the ER. Once I started running to the bathroom vomiting every 10 minutes or so, I reluctantly agreed with her.

I apologized profusely to my mom for ruining her birthday, and she predictably hushed me, assuring me that my health was infinitely more important than a silly party.

Nate and Lucy stayed with my parents while Ed took me to the hospital. We had no idea how long we’d be there, so figured it would be best if they spent the night with them.

Ed had to pull the car over twice on the way to the hospital so I could throw up.

What is this?

Worry was etched all over his face as he drove us through the stop-and-go city traffic. We didn’t talk much during the drive, but he kept his hand on my knee the whole time.

We were in the waiting room for almost an hour before anyone saw me. It was a Saturday night - the busiest time of the week for an emergency room. I visited the bathroom no less than 6 times to vomit while we waited. Nothing was even coming out anymore - it was all just dry heaves. I was in significant pain, I was miserable, and I was baffled. I came back to our seats from one of those bathroom visits, shaking my head and shrugging, feeling discouraged.

“Has this ever happened before?” Ed asked softly, his voice laced with concern.

“No,” I slowly shook my head. “I don’t know what this could be…gallbladder, maybe? Appendix…?” I felt my eyes go wider as I thought of another possibility. I didn’t voice it, though.

Which didn’t matter in the least, since he’d apparently had the same thought.

“Could you be pregnant?”

——————————————————————————————-

I was finally called back to triage, where I was asked a series of the usual questions:

Describe the abdominal pain. When did it begin? It started late this morning - dull, kind of centered, a little to the left. A few hours later it moved right and down and got worse - much more sharp.

Do you have a normal appetite? Not really. I don’t think I can keep anything down.

Any nausea or vomiting? Yes. I’ve been vomiting every 5-15 minutes for the past few hours.

Are you experiencing any vaginal bleeding? No.

When did you begin your last period? Umm, almost a month ago I think? I think I’m due in a few days.

Do you experience any pain with intercourse? No.

Any dizziness? No.

Any pain in your shoulder or back? No.

I also told the nurse that I’d stopped my birth control pills the previous month. It seemed like something worth noting.

She was the only person we’d shared that information with at that point. It was a decision we’d come to together, at the tail-end of what was honestly the most stressful, intense, nerve-racking, heart-wrenching, soul-baring near break-up/fight I’d ever been through. It lasted days, but in the end we were both clear and honest with ourselves and each other about where we wanted our relationship to go. Not that he hadn’t been forthright about that before. It was I who had been fooling myself, and by extension, him. But now it was voiced. It’s real. We are stronger, completely committed, and in it for the long-haul.

We weren’t exactly trying to get pregnant, but we were no longer trying to prevent it, either. It was a huge step, for sure. Given my age and my past miscarriages, we thought we might need to see a reproductive endocrinologist once we officially started ‘trying’. But we weren’t quite there, yet.

I knew that if I was pregnant, then it was very early, and something was probably very wrong. So, at that point I was praying that it was my appendix or gallbladder.

After another 40ish minutes of waiting my name was called again, finally, and we were led back to an examining room. But before we even entered, I was handed a sterile sample cup and redirected to the nearest bathroom.

I did my duty and returned to the small curtained-off area where Ed was waiting. I changed into the hospital gown the nurse had given me, and then she returned to take my vitals, including my temperature.

“Hmm. 98.5…no fever…” She looked a little surprised by this.

We waited an interminable 15 or 20 minutes, during which time I continued to dry-heave. I’d been given a clean, plastic bucket, but nothing was coming out, anyway. I was miserable. Ed was trying to distract me with stories of his own hospital escapades. He’s broken a lot of fingers and toes! Boys…

Finally, the doctor came back with the results. She glanced at me and then at Ed, and if she recognized him she made no outward sign of it.

“Everything was negative. You’re not pregnant so no ectopic pregnancy, you don’t have a UTI, and there are no kidney stones.”

I nodded. “OK…”

“There is definitely something going on. I suspect it’s appendicitis, but I’d like to run a few more tests to be sure. I’m ordering blood work and an MRI. But first I’d like to do a quick physical exam.”

I laid back and tried not to worry too much while the doctor applied pressure to various parts of my abdomen, observed my reactions, and asked me to rate any pain I felt on a scale of 1-10.

My memory of that night is a bit fuzzy, so my awareness of how time passed is not great. But I do remember waiting around a lot for tests and results and room availability and doctors. My blood was drawn right away, but we waited a while for the MRI to be done. Then we waited some more for someone to tell us…anything.

It was after midnight before Dr. Pianga returned.

“I’m confident that you have an angry appendix. Your white blood cell count is high, which indicates that you’re fighting an infection…although you don’t have a fever, which is atypical. The MRI images clearly show that your appendix is inflamed, and I do see what looks like a blockage in your appendiceal lumen, which is the hollow part of the appendix.”

“Does she need to have it out?” Ed asked.

Dr. Pianga nodded. “Yes, I’m afraid it needs to go,” she said, nodding at him, then me.

“OK.”

“I believe you’re a good candidate for a laparoscopic appendectomy. It’s less invasive than the open surgery, and has a shorter recovery period. It’s actually performed as an outpatient surgery, so you won’t even be admitted. You’ll be home by mid-morning.”

——————————————————————————————-

Ed’s POV

While we waited in pre-op, they hooked Kate up to an IV and started some medicines - antibiotics, a pain reliever, something to stop her vomiting, and a sedative. She became very sleepy, but also really hyper and chatty - even more so than usual. She spoke quickly and emphatically.

“I can’t believe I’m having my appendix out? This morning I had a stomachache and now I’m having surgery? That’s crazy. I’ve never even had surgery before.”

“No?”

“Oh, well I had a c-section. I guess that’s surgery, isn’t it? Oh, god I’m so glad it’s not an ectopic pregnancy. I was really worried that’s what it was…”

“Yeah,” I replied softly, nodding.

“I want a baby, Ed. I want to have a baby…babies!”, she said a little too loudly.

“Shhhh, OK. OK, darling.” I smiled down at her, smoothing her hair back away from her face, and then took a quick glance around to see if anyone else could hear our conversation besides Ebony, the nurse who just re-entered our curtained-off ‘room’.

“No, no…your babies, not just any babies…” she seemed to be under the impression that I might have mistakenly thought she wanted some random, general babies.

I was sat down on the edge of her bed, right next to her, and couldn’t help the smile that broke out at hearing those words.

I softly kissed her forehead, and then took her hand in both of mine.

“I want that, too,” I whispered softly.

I hated seeing her in pain, worried, and so vulnerable. This was new territory for me. I’m not very familiar with American hospitals or surgery procedures, and felt quite out of my element. I wasn’t going to let her see that, though. I knew it was a pretty common surgery, but I was worried, all-the-same.

The possibility of an ectopic pregnancy had scared the piss out of me. The idea of losing our baby before even getting to know him or her? No. Just no. And Kate has had more than her share of losses in her life. It would kill a good part of me if that were to happen to us. To her.

The anesthesiologist came back and administered the drugs via her IV to put her under. Kate looked a little nervous, so I whispered sweet and silly and entirely inappropriate things to her to get her to smile, and she was out almost immediately. Ebony was trying to hold back a smirk after everything she’d just overheard, and wasn’t doing a very good job of it. I grinned sheepishly back at her.

“Will she remember any of that?”

“Probably not. But believe me, she means every word she said. That stuff is truth serum.”

——————————————————————————————-

Pt. 2 - Home

As always, likes and reblogs are mucho-appreciated, as is any feedback you might care to offer. :-)

-BP💜

#becausepurple #becuzpurple #untitled 2-part one-shot!#LOL #ed sheeran #ed sheeran fanfic #ed sheeran love story #teddy sheeran #teddy sheeran fanfic #Ed & Kate #Ed & Kate love story #no smut in this one #not sure abt pt 2 yet #haha #Ed's POV #caring/cuddly Ed

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