#Ed & Kate love story
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ED MEDIA
MOVIES
★ little miss perfect ★
an overambitious high school freshman tries to control her life by controlling her weight.
➜ watch on soap2day
★ starving in suburbia ★
17-year-old Hannah joins a dangerous “thinspiration” online community where users treat anorexia as a lifestyle rather than a disorder.
➜ Watch on Vimeo
★ sharing the secret ★
beth turns to binging and purging as a way to control one aspect of her life, but her habits quickly spiral out of control and force her to seek treatment.
➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hmujb3ndoo0
★ for the love of nancy★
follows the main character as she starts college, becomes more and more withdrawn, starts a regimented exercise routine, stops eating, and begins losing an unhealthy amount of weight.
➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cgvxvq33swy
★ a secret between friends ★
when two teenage girls become fast friends and decide to diet together, things go from bad to worse, ultimately leading to the near death of one of the girls.
➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/vmf4cd1fxge
★ dying to dance ★
➜ a young woman succumbs to pressure at ballet school and develops anorexia nervosa.
➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hi5ww4z-rx8
★ girl, interrupted★
based on writer susanna kaysen's account of her 18-month stay at a mental hospital in the late 1960s.
➜ Watch on Netflix
★ Kate's secret ★
a beautiful woman married to a successful lawyer and the perfect suburban mother who turns out to be a closeted bulimic.
➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/zpchtd3xw4q
★ the best little girl in the world ★
a young girl develops an eating disorder, alternately starving herself or throwing up food. her parents, angry and desperate, send her to a hospital. unfortunately, she befriends a patient who convinces her to hide her illness.
➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/oy7gj99pt_a
★ thirteen ★
an innocent seventh grader undergoes an abrupt personality change when she begins hanging out with a wild classmate
➜ Watch on Disney Plus
★ to the bone ★
ellen is an unruly 20-year-old anorexic girl who spent the better part of her teenage years being shepherded through various recovery programmes, only to find herself several pounds lighter every time.
➜ Watch on Netflix
TV SHOWS
★ Skins ★
lives of a group of teenagers in Bristol, England, are followed through two years of sixth form, with the story line of this critically acclaimed series delving into such controversial subjects as substance abuse, sexuality, teenage pregnancy, personality and eating disorders, and mental illness
➜ Watch on Stan
★ Red band society ★
a group of teenagers live together as patients at a hospital's pediatric ward and learn how to deal with their illnesses, the experiences that they have, and the people that they meet.
➜ Watch on Disney Plus
★ Insatiable ★
For years Patty was overweight, which caused her to be bullied, ignored and underestimated by the people around her. But she is now thin and seeking revenge against those who ever made her feel bad about herself through fat-shaming.
➜ Watch on Netflix
DOCUMENTRYS
★ Thin ★
this documentary follows four women receiving eating disorder treatment at the renfrew center in coconut creek, florida. while each woman has their own “final straw” that brought them to renfrew, they all suffer from eating disorders that profoundly affect their lives to the point of near-death, in some cases.
➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/gsqwhmesizq
★ Dana the 8-year-old anorexic ★
Little Dana became a walking skeleton after suffering from anorexia - at EIGHT. She told her distraught parents she would rather DIE than eat. And she even hid in a laundry basket at meal times to avoid having food.
➜ Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKSwPBUhCBo&list=PLfjwnsEd5VNYTtPpke17nY2AHRNNpcWIK&index=3
#tw weight#need to lose more weight#i wanna lose weight#wl#ana trigger#ana bllog#ana rant#ana meal#tw ana diary#weight loss#i need to lose so much weight#i need to lose this weight#tw mia#ana e mia#ana y mia#i wanna be skinnier#skinnni#bonespø#thin sp0#sp0#i wanna be tiny
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An essay rebutting the “bad writing” claims of s2 ofmd. Spoilers herein.
I’ll preface this with saying you’re obviously allowed to like and dislike whatever you want. I am in no way opposing that. And your reasons are your reasons. Have at. (Also - this is a collection of observations from the past few days, I’m not calling anyone out)
I AM going to rebut the idea that season two was poorly written and lost the spirit of what the show is about.
My favourite movie of all time is Empire Strikes Back. It’s been my favourite movie since I was four. I’m pretty sure it’s a fave of David Jenkins, too. He and Taika have made absolutely no attempt to hide their love of all things 80’s - Prince, the Princess Bride, Kate Bush, Star Wars, etc.
I have ancient video tapes (that I can’t play because who has a vcr) where Lucas is interviewed by Leonard Maltin? Malkin? I dunno. Who cares. Maltin asks him about the Star Wars (original trilogy) story arc. Lucas says “in act I, you introduce all the characters. In act II, you put them in a situation they can’t get out of, and in act III, they get out of it.”
That’s how it works. This is how stories and literary structures work.
Of course you’re not satisfied with season two. You’re not supposed to be.
The arguments I have read on why s2 loses the spirit of s1 is because no one heals. No one learns anything. No one moves forward properly. The person who makes the biggest move towards healing dies. The two main characters end the show doing the exact fucking thing they had promised themselves and each other they wouldn’t do. Our romantic lead still doesn’t understand his value or make any headway on addressing his tragic flaw. It makes no goddamn sense.
My gremlins in weird: it’s not supposed to. In Act 2, EVERYONE LOSES. This is how it goes.
I’ve read a lot of people saying “but this felt like a series finale, not a season finale.” We all know that outside politics play a part here, the strikes make everything precarious. I remember the last writers strike. It destroyed tv for fifteen years. Anyone remember Pushing Daisies? Some of y’all have never had your fave show cancelled with zero resolution for the characters and it shows.
Daddy J did us a kindness. He softened the blow of a tough season. After the brutal cliffhanger of s1, he gave us a little softness and hope. All those things you’re mad aren’t resolved? It’s because THE STORY ISN’T OVER.
No one on earth thinks “stuff all your trauma into a box and ignore it” is good advice. A way to actually live. This show did not have enough screen time to throw out dialogue for no reason. There was foreshadowing in s1 for s2, and there is foreshadowing for s3 in s2. This is a well-crafted story by very smart people who care very much for these characters. There is zero chance Frenchie explained the box in his head for no reason. The reason people have not resolved their trauma and growth is because they haven’t done it *yet*.
And friends - it’s not thinly veiled. They straight up fucking tell us what they’re doing.
Luke Skywalker spends the first two movies fucking up and desperately trying to prove himself and just generally being an idiot. Sound familiar? He ignores the lessons he is supposed to be learning to go off and do what he feels like doing, and loses fucking badly. At the end of Empire, Han is gone, Luke and Leia wave goodbye to the Falcon that has Lando and Chewy - the rest of their crew - aboard. Everyone has lost everything they care about. Vader is undefeated. Yoda is pissed. Nothing is resolved.
You see where I’m going?
If you think I’m stretching this too far, welp, when Ed tells Stede he loves him - the climax of the finale - Stede quotes Han fucking Solo. Like - *it’s right there*. The story structure. The reason everything is unresolved.
So yeah. They wave goodbye to their ship because they have wounds to heal (like Luke’s hand). The people aboard the ship have things to find. Ed and Stede have *not* learned their lesson about whims and how not to be like Anne and Mary. It’s not stupid that they’re doing the same thing, and it’s not pointless that we were shown Anne and Mary. It’s all relevant.
The resolution comes in Act 3. None of these people are done. The story is far, far from over. And just in case the studios want to be dicks about it, David Jenkins was lovely enough to not repeat my enduring heartbreak over Pushing Daisies.
Thank you, @davidjenks 🖤
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Sex and Body Positive Trans and Nonbinary Non-Fiction Books
Buy books from trans, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming authors! Here's a list of some non-fiction that I've really enjoyed. This is NOT extensive, it is just scratching the surface of what's out there.
Be sure to follow me for updates on my own books and a regular dose of non-binary gender euphoria! [18+ Only, I'm a sex blogger and pleasure informed queer sexuality writer.]
NOTE: All links are to Amazon CA. Most of these are available at other retailers though, so, if it looks interesting please be sure to look it up at your preferred place to buy books!
Ashley, Florence. Gender/Fucking: The Pleasures and Politics of Living in a Gendered Body. CLASH Books, 2024.
Coyote, Ivan. Rebent Sinner. Arsenal Pulp Press, 2022.
Dale, Laura Kate, Ed. Gender Euphoria: Stories of Joy from Trans, Non-Binary and Intersex Writers. Unbound, 2022.
Grimm, Bruce Owens, Miguel M. Morales and Tiff Joshua TJ Ferentini, editors. Fat & Queer: An Anthology of Queer and Trans Bodies and Lives. Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2021.
Kobabe, Maia. Gender Queer: A Memoir. Oni Press, 2019.
Lore, Nillin. How Do I Sexy? A Guide for Trans and Nonbinary Queers. Thornapple Press, 2024.
Lorenz, Theo. The Trans Self-Care Workbook: A Coloring Book and Journal for Trans and Non-Binary People. Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2020.
Mx. Sly. Transland: Consent, Kink, and Pleasure. Arsenal Pulp Press, 2023.
Oaks-Monger, Tash. All the Things They Said We Couldn't Have: Stories of Trans Joy. Jessica Kinglsey Publishers, 2023.
Raines, Jamie. The T in LGBT: Everything You Need to Know About Being Trans. Vermilion, 2024.
Silver, Orlando. I Write the Body: Queer & Trans Kink, Desire, and Defiance. Kith Books & silvertongue PUBLISHING, 2023.
Sparks, Kelvin. Trans Sex: A Guide for Adults. Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2022.
Tobia, Jacob. Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story. G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 2019.
Vaid-Menon, Alok. Beyond the Gender Binary. Pocket CHANGE Collective, 2020.
Violet, Mia. Yes, You Are Trans Enough: My Transition from Self-Loathing to Self-Love. Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2019.
#trans#transgender#non binary#nonbinary#queer#lgbtq#gender nonconforming#genderqueer#genderfluid#lgbtq books#trans books#trans author#nonbinary writer#nonbinary author#nonbinary books#queer books#sex positive#body positive
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Movies
- To The Bone
- Perfect Body
- Sharing the Secret
- The Love of Nancy
- Secret Between Friends
- Thinspiration/Starving in Surburbia
- Feed
- The Road Within
- Vincent Wants to Sea
- My Skinny Sister
- Girl Interrupted
- Little Miss Perfect
- Karen Carpenter Story
- Dying to Dance
- Hunger Point
- Kate’s secret
Tv Shows
- Red Band Society
- Make it or Break it
- Glee
- Supersize vs Superskinny
- Starved
- Holly Oaks
- Degrassi
- CSI: The Hunger Artist
- Dr. Phil
Documentaries
- Thin
- Dying to be Thin
- Thin Club
- I’m a Child Anorexic
- Living Sz0
- Extremely Thin Celebrites
- Desperately Hungry Housewives
- A Beautiful Tradegy
- Dying to be Anorexic
- Out of Sight: Invisible ED’s
- Super Slim Me
Books
- Wintergirls
- Elena Vanishing: A Memoir
- Brave Girl Eating
- Unbearable Lightness
- Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia & Bulimia
- How to Disappear Completely
- Diary of an Anorexic Girl
- Being Ana: A Memoir of Anorexia Nervosa
- Beautiful Me
- After the Strawberry
- Letting Ana Go
- Skinny
- Kid Rex
- Second Star to the Right
- My Perfect Little Secret
🎀 lmk which newer ones I should add 🎀
#boxofvanishingsenses#tw#weightloss#ana help#tw ed thoughts#thinspo#anorecsick#eating disoder trigger warning#ana trigger#pr0 ed#edblrr
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Okay here me out...
Bully/Jock Kate Bishop x nerd male reader smut?
Kate Bishop x Male!reader
*non-archer Kate College AU*
● Kate Bishop is one of the most popular (and richest) girls on campus
● she was made the captain of the soccer team, water polo team and track & field team all by sophomore year
● you on the other hand were quite the opposite and had been picked on by her group of jock friends ever since your were freshman living in the same co-ed dorm building
● though secretly you and Kate had been hooking up for months
● it started when her grades were slipping and she needed to hire a tutor to be able to keep her spot on all the sports teams
● her mom gave her a bunch of money and told her to find the smartest kid on campus which just happened to be you
● she had recently broken up with her douchey football playing boyfriend and kissed you while alone in the schools library during one of your study sessions
● “don't get any ideas I'm only making out with you for a rebound” she says taking you to one of the closed off bookcase aisles to keep making out
● but then a week later she was on a high from winning a soccer game and found herself knocking on your apartment door
● “don't you dare tell anyone about this its a one time thing” she says as you're taking off her clothes
● but it wasn't a one time thing
● she was coming over to your apartment at least twice a week to hook up
● she even invited you to one of her famous parties
● “what the hell is he doing here?” One of her friends asked when they saw you walk through the door
● “no idea but I'm kicking him out” Kate says
● but she doesn't and instead sneaks you upstairs to her room
● and in the morning makes you climb down from her second story window while her roommates were passed out in the living room hungover from the night before
● you fall straight into a bush and stumble out of it whispering “I'm okay” which makes her laugh
● Kate is quite demanding in the bedroom
● she knows exactly what she wants and isn't afraid to be direct in getting it
● plus she finds it really hot that you let her order you around
● and thanks to her athletic stamina she can go for hours and in the craziest positions
● when she rides you you get to watch every single one of the defined muscles in her body flexing
● she loves leaving hickies all over your neck and chest
● she proudly smirks to herself when she sees you walking around campus trying to cover them up
● you've gotten quite good at eating her out (which she taught you how to do to ensure she always gets the most pleasurable orgasms)
● some nights she makes you go down on her until your jaw can't take it anymore
● she'll return the favor by slipping underneath your study table at the library to give you a blowjob that makes your knuckles turn white from gripping the table so hard
● she's also big on giving you praise during sex
● you have plenty of quickies in your car in between classes
● and hook ups in locker rooms when her teammates leave after practice
● her mom bought her a huge house with a pool in a secluded backyard so she's able to do private training for water polo (and for her and her roommates to have pool parties)
● so she also invites you over when her roommates are gone to go skinny dipping in said pool
● you weren't aware that her ex had been trying to get back with her for a while
● one of his buddies who just so happened to live in the same student apartment building as you saw Kate leaving your place
● so he told her ex which led to him trying to fight you outside the food hall
● Kate sees him punch you and runs over to the commotion
● “what the fuck Kate? This is the guy you get with?”
● her friends are looking at her and she panics
● “you've got it all wrong, I'm just tutoring her,” you lie with blood running down your face from your nose
● “no, I'm dating Y/N,” she confesses
● her ex raises his fist to punch you again but Kate kicks him in the nuts making him fall to the ground
● she takes your hand and gets you out of there going back to your apartment to clean you up
● “so we're dating huh?” You tease her
● “yeah and don't make me regret it” she laughs before kissing you
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I have a theory
listen up bitches (gender neutral) (affectionate) i’ve been cooking this for an incredibly long time and i’m very very excited to share it but it is gonna be long so i’m putting it under a cut
my theory is that there has been a new set of archetypes created by popular m/m media either in canon or coding and i would love if it was more widely recognized by a distinct name so here we go:
I present to you: The Mirrorball x Running Up That Hill Boyfriends™️ Theory
i need to preface this by saying that i am absolutely not an english major or expert but i have done so much analysis that i’m 98% positive i’m on to something here
so usually mlm ships- at least in my experience- get boiled down into typical Grumpy x Sunshine, Golden Retriever x Black Cat, or like. Babygirl x Badass. and i hate that because those are like really watered down hetero romance stereotypes and i think queer people deserve to get our own archetypes instead of trying to force queer characters into prepaid boxes but that’s a story for another day so:
basically, all content with widely accepted mlm ships (even if they are more in coding than in canon) has this pattern with the ship that fits into Mirrorball x Running Up That Hill
(name pending- open to suggestions)
Boyfriend No.1 of course is the epitome of Mirrorball by Taylor Swift (i know, i know. bear with me here). He’s constantly trying to prove himself and his worth and usually he’s driven to hide or overcome 1-3 specific and intense insecurities/character flaws. He often has innate loyalty to a system or person who has repeatedly abused/neglected/abandoned him and thinks that this treatment is a result of his own character rather than a reflection of the abuser. In relation to the plot and audience, this is the “more dangerous” of the two because he’s so desperate to hold onto the status quo that he’ll often act in a way that makes things more difficult for himself, often by leaving Boyfriend No. 2, sacrificing himself, or doing “the wrong thing.” He also commonly has an older male figure that is breathing down his neck constantly, haunting his perceived inadequacies, and fueling his self-loathing. He’s constantly mischaracterized because he’s either boiled down to “the silly one” or a visage of his trauma and the people that relate to love these characters are usually extremely sad people. Usually this character is also the “mean girl” of the couple.
Examples of the Mirrorball boyfriend: Dean Winchester, Aziraphale, Stede Bonnet, Lucius Spriggs, Sherlock Holmes, Eddie Munson, Mike Wheeler, Prince Rupert, etc.
Boyfriend No. 2 then, is the Running Up That Hill Boyfriend, based of course, on the song by the same name by the perfect Kate Bush. He’s the one that’s seen The Horrors™️ and gained a layer of cynicism that Mirrorball doesn’t have. He was once loyal to something that used/hurt him but he rejected it and used his newfound freedom to restructure his entire personality and reach his much higher potential. Usually, he has passed so far from having a few insecurities to perceiving himself as utterly worthless and unlovable but he’s so convinced that it doesn’t even haunt him, he just goes with it and usually comes off looking overly-confident or cocky. This is The Bitch (affectionate)™️. There’s probably a scene of him covered in blood. This is The Girls’ favorite blorbo and ultimate whump. He tends to be really good with kids and he’s the kind of character that would and often has to CLAW a life out for himself by his fingernails.
Examples of the Running Up That Hill Boyfriend: Castiel, Crowley, Ed Teach, Black Pete, John Watson, Steve Harrington, Will Byers, Prince Amir, etc.
unfortunately i haven’t seen a lot of popular queer stuff so if you can think of other mlm or mlm shaped characters that fit into these archetypes please please please tell me
i’m specifically curious about:
-Hannigram (Hannibal)
-Buddy (911) (@criminally-obsessed if you would mind weighing in but obviously no pressure)
-Lokius (Loki) (@henderdads same thing)
-Any of the marauders but specifically WolfStar
-Stucky (MCU)
-RWRB (i’m so sorry i don’t remember the guys’ names)
-Nick and Charlie (Heartstopper)
-What We Do In the Shadows has one I think?
-literally anyone else please and thank you 🙏🙏 love you all
if you want like explicit examples of each piece for a character lmk for sure because i could talk about this all day long
#shut up jay#mlm thoughts#mlm#mxruth theory#steddie#ineffable husbands#lupete#gentlebeard#destiel#johnlock#byler#hannigram#lokius#wolfstar#red white and royal blue#heartstopper#what we do in the shadows#911#buddy#stucky
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Life Goes On by Ed Sheeran
Part 2 of Eyes Closed by Ed Sheeran
Summary: For the past year, your mom never left you for long and if she did you would come with her. But now duty calls and you can't go with her. Will she keep her promise of always coming back to you?
Relationships: Maria x daughter!reader, Yelena x niece!reader
Warning: Secret Invasion Spoilers, Major character death, grief, angst with small fluff, guilt, everyone is sad and everyone needs a hug
Word count: 4.7k
“Are you sure you have to go?” You asked for the 100th time as soon as you learned your mom had to go off on a mission. You were lying on her bed, feet dangling over the side as she packed her bag. Without looking, you knew she was suppressing a sigh and pinching the bridge of her nose.
“You know I wouldn’t go if it wasn’t important,” that was her response every time you asked and you believed her. For the past year, Maria refused any mission that would take her away from you. If she needed to travel you went with her or stayed with your grandmother. You traveled to DC, California, and Texas with her. But now you had no idea where she was going. She grabbed your hands and pulled you up to a sitting position, smiling at the pout of your face. “I won’t be gone for long, a month at best, and you’ll get to spend time with your grandma and the Bartons.” That sounded fun especially since your grandmother loved to spoil you but you wanted your mom.
“Why does it have to be you?” You whined. You knew you were acting like a child, throwing a tantrum but you didn’t care. “Why can’t Uncle Nick go?” This time your mom didn’t suppress your sigh. It was a sensitive topic regarding the former director of SHIELD, who took off after Tony’s funeral and ignored all her calls.
“Have you packed?” She deflected your question with one of her own. You nodded with a smile. “Good, I have something for you.” She let go of your hands and opened the drawer of her nightstand. She pulled out a small box and she sat down next to you as you opened it. It was a golden heart-shaped locket. You placed the box next to you and opened it, one side was a picture of you and your moms, and on the other side was a solo picture of just them. You smiled.
“Can you put it on for me?” You asked, handing it to her. She took it and the cold metal was placed around your neck. “Thank you,” you smiled and turned around to hug her. “I love it.” You held onto her tight as she kissed the top of your head.
“I can see the smoke coming out of your ears because you are thinking so hard,” you giggled as she tickled your sides. You rested your head on her lap and looked up at her. She was smiling down at you, patient as you got your thoughts together. With a sigh, you played with the locket.
“Have you heard from Yelena yet?” You asked. That was another wild ride that occurred within the past year. When Clint was spending time with his kids in the city, he somehow got involved with the Tracksuit Mafia, and a Black Widow assassin was hired to kill him. That assassin so happened to be your aunt. He called your mom for help. In the end, Yelena didn’t kill him but she disappeared. You and Maria were trying to get a hold of her as you so desperately wanted to meet her.
“No,” she said. “But she has spoken to Kate a few times,” you liked Kate. She was full of energy and her dog was cute. “She’ll reach out when she’s ready. Black Widows are very special.” She tapped you on the nose.
“Can you tell me the story of you and Mama met again?” It was a story you’d heard thousands of times from Natasha telling it one way and Maria telling it another. It was your favorite story. Maria stole a glance at the clock and you watched the internal debate she was having with herself but she smiled.
“Of course, I can,” she moved so her back was resting on the headboard and your head was still in her lap. “So you know Uncle Clint was supposed to kill your mama but he disobeyed a direct order and gave her a chance to defect to SHIELD,” your mom started. “I didn’t trust her at first and I thought it was a horrible idea to bring her into the organization but your mama,” she sighed but her smile told you she wasn’t sad. “Was persistent and did everything to win me over. She flirted with me every chance she got,” you giggled. If Natasha was here to tell this story, the roles would be reversed. “But I kept my guard up until Fury assigned us to the same mission and she saved my life.” Your mama took a bullet for her. “I sat by her bedside for three days.”
“And when she woke up, you yelled at her.”
“Hey,” she gasped. “Are you telling the story or am I?” You laughed as she tickled your sides. “We didn’t officially get together until she became an Avenger but she,” you frowned as you watched a tear leave her eye and fall down her cheek. With gentle hands, you whipped it away. “She was my best friend.”
“Second to me, right?” You teased and it pulled a deep laugh out of her.
“Oh 100%,” she lay down and cuddled up against you.
“I’m gonna miss you,” she sighed, kissing the top of your head.
“I’m going to miss you too.”
*
You exited the airport with your suitcase in hand and backpack tight on your shoulder. The air in Iowa was so different than the city air. Your mom said it was cleaner. “Hey squirt,” you turned around at your nickname and saw Clint standing by his pickup truck, a sign in his hand with your name on it. The sign was cute but what caught your attention was the one-eyed golden retriever that sat next to him.
“Lucky!” You ran over to them. The sound of his name being called caused the dog to get excited and tug on the leash. He didn’t have to wait long for you to kneel at his level. You dropped your suitcase and wrapped your arms around his neck as he attacked your face with kisses.
“What am I chopped liver?” Clint said, throwing his arms to the side. “I almost died for that dog.”
“Oh, you are so dramatic,” you looked up to see Lila hanging out the passenger window. “Humans like dogs more than people,” you giggled and stood up.
“Hi Uncle Clint,” you said. He stared at you, blinking once then twice.
“You have dog drool all over your face.” He deadpanned. You used your shirt to clean your face before he hugged you.
“I didn’t know you guys had Lucky,” you said, opening the door to the back of the truck. The golden retriever jumped in and followed. Clint helped you with your luggage. Once you were buckled in, you sent a quick text to your mom and grandmother that you were with Clint.
“Just for a few more days,” Lila said. Clint got into the driver’s seat and started the drive back to the farm. “She’s helping Yelena free a few Widows.” You saw Clint glance at you through the mirror. Your mom must have told him of your desperate attempts to meet your aunt.
“So they’ll be here to pick up Lucky?” You scratched the dog underneath his chin.
“Probably just Kate,” Lila said. “Yelena doesn’t come over much. She still has a lot of guilt for you know trying to kill my dad.” You smiled at that but your heart ached. They got to meet Yelena, the one person you could ask what your mam was like in Ohio. Natasha told you about the mission and how the Red Room gave her a loud mouth, annoying blonde of a sister.
‘I think you’d get along with her,’ Natasha said, decorating a cut-out Christmas tree cookie.
‘Yeah?’ You questioned, not looking up as you were very focused on decorating your star with yellow icing. ‘What makes you say that?’
‘You can get anyone to like you,’ she tapped your nose. Her finger was covered with green icing. ‘And you are a great reminder of family. She needs that.’
“So, what’s she like?”
*
You loved spending time with your grandmother. For two weeks, you visited the zoo, bookstores, and the candy store that was right down the road. But you were excited to have people to hand out that were your age. Being at the Bartons also meant you reached the halfway point and you were two weeks closer to your mom being home. You missed her so much. Almost every night, you would speak with her on the phone and if she couldn’t she would send you a text goodnight. You were counting down the days but until then you were having fun with Lila, Cooper, and Nate. You played video games with the eldest, had sleepovers with Lila, and put up with Nate’s crazy games of make-believe. When Kate would come to visit, you would join the archers in the makeshift training area Clint built. But your favorite was driving the four-wheeler, and exploring different parts of the property. Lila and Cooper showed you a fort they built, that not even their parents knew about.
However, Yelena refused to meet you. You caught Kate a few times on the phone with her talking about you. The archer would give you a sorry smile and walk away continuing the conversation. She was desperate to get to know you through other people but refused to meet you. It hurt more than you wanted it to.
*
“You’re going to be gone for another month,” you said, pacing the length of the porch. Your mom sighed.
“Something came up and it’s going to take a little bit longer to clean it up,” you did not like the sound of that. “And I won’t be able to call you as much.” That stopped you from pacing.
“Mom, what’s going on?”
“You know I can’t tell you that,” you sat down on the steps and played with the locket around your neck.
“Right,” you sighed. It aspect of her job was so frustrating. “And your being safe.”
“Yes I am,” you heard shuffling on the other end. She must be lying down. “Just a few bumps and bruises. Enough about me, come on tell me about everything you are doing in Iowa. Are you giving Clint a hard time?” You giggled.
“Always.” Once you were done on the phone, you stayed outside and took the photo out of your pocket. “I’m scared,” you confessed to the photo. “I need her to come home, okay? Please keep her safe.” You heard the front door open but you didn’t bother to turn around to see who it was.
“How are you doing, sweetheart?” Laura asked, sitting down next to you. You rested your head on her shoulder.
“I want her to come home,” the mother of three sighed, wrapping her arm around you and kissing the top of your head.
“I know you do,” she said. “She’ll be home soon.”
Limited contact missions were your less favorite. You would send her good morning and good night texts, and texts throughout the day but she wouldn’t respond for a day or 2 after. You never knew when she was going to respond, it was maddening. The Bartons knew you were upset and they tried to keep you busy - fishing, swimming in the pond, archery practice, and day trips to the nearby town. It was fun but it wasn’t helping the ache you felt in your chest and a nagging worry that grew at the base of your neck. For a week, there was no response to your never-ending stream of texts and your worry only grew.
*
You were in the kitchen, getting an afternoon snack when the house shook. It was the tale sign of a plane visiting the farm. Dropping the apple, you ran to the front. By the time you made it outside, a ramp was lowered and Clint and Laura were waiting to see who would exist. “Hey,” Cooper said, running over to you from the barn. “Is your mom back?” He asked.
“I don’t know,” you heard the front door open.
“Whose here?” Lila questioned. On cue, you watched Nick and your grandmother descend the ramp. Where was your mom? Where was she? You saw Nick speak with Clint and the archer kept glancing over to you, his hand rubbing his face.
“No,” you whispered. “Get off the jet.” You pleaded. “Get off.” But no one else came off. The group of adults began to walk back to the house. Not again. You couldn’t go through this again. The world began to spin around you. You needed to get out of here, you needed to run. So you did. Sprinting towards the barn, you jumped one of the four-wheelers that was left out. The sound of the engine roaring to life drowned out the call of your name. You began to ride, past the pound and into the woods. You were half tempted to never get off because as soon as you would reality would set in. The hard, soul-crushing reality that your mom broke her promise.
You stopped at Lila and Cooper’s fort. Your legs barely could hold you up as you got off the four-wheeler and collapsed into the shelter. No tears fell. Even though you wanted to scream and cry and plead for the universe to give her back. But you were numb. So numb. Why did this keep happening to you? Was it you? Were you to blame for all this death and misery? You were the common denominator for everything; your biological parents left, and Natasha and Maria left. Who was next?
*
“Shit,” her father said, coming to a stop next to Lila. He ran his hand over his face but Lila was more focused on her distraught friend ride off.
“Where is she going?” Lila assumed the woman was your grandmother. She heard you talking to her on the phone.
“We know where she’s going,” We do? Lila thought. “Come on,” he grabbed Lila by her hand and dragged her to the other four-wheeler. Cooper jumped on first and handed her the helmet.
“Cooper,” Lila whispered. “Is Aunt Maria-”
“I don’t know,” he sighed. “God, I hope not. Hold on tight.”
*
You heard the sound of the other four-wheeler turn off and two sets of footsteps approaching the fort. “Mind if we join you?” Lila asked. You didn’t want them to be here. You came out here because you wanted to be alone. They took your silence as an invitation to join, Lila sat next to you and Cooper sat in front of you.
“Dad is going to give you a hard time about riding without a helmet.” Cooper joked. On any other day, it would have made you laugh or smile but you stared down at your lap. Their voices became white noise. You knew they were trying to get you to talk but you couldn’t. You were so angry and sad and scared. There were so many emotions swirling inside you didn’t know which one to focus on.
“You could be a Barton,” Lila said. “And you can come live with us.”
“No,” you finally spoke. “What if I join your family and something happens to your parents?” You looked up at them. “I’m cursed. My biological parents left me, Natasha left me, Maria left me,” finally the tears began to fall, “Everyone leaves me.” You sobbed. Lila pulled you in a hug. You wanted to push against her, scream at her to let you go but you didn’t have the energy to fight her. Instead, you slumped against her and you heard Cooper sit down next to you. He brought you and Lila into a hug.
“It’s going to be okay,” he promised. “You’ll find your place whether it be here or somewhere else.” You weren’t sure if you believed him.
*
“How is she?” Clint asked his wife when she entered the dining room. The plate she brought up with her wasn’t in her hand anymore so he saw that as a good sign. Laura sighed.
“I didn’t get to talk to her,” she sat down next to Clint. A bottle of whiskey was already open and being passed around the three adults. “Cooper is standing guard,” she poured herself a drink. “According to him, she doesn’t want to talk to anyone.” Clint rubbed his head, letting out a sigh of his own.
“What’s going to happen to her?” Elizabeth asked. The archer had only spoken to her a few times on the phone to organize pickups and drop-offs. They never met in person. Clint hated that Maria’s death was the reason they had to meet. It seemed unreal that Maria was gone. For the longest time, she seemed untouchable, unkillable. Life appeared to have other plans. He took a sip of his drink.
“Romanoff and Hill wrote in their will that Clint and Laura were her godparents,” Fury said. “They left it up to the three of you to decide what is best for her.” There was a rage building inside Clint as he stared at Fury. The man ran to space as soon as the funeral was over and was never heard from again. Hell, Maria thought he was dead for how many calls he ignored. Now the man was back and another one of Clint’s closest friends was dead, leaving behind a daughter who lost so much.
“I can take her,” Elizabeth said. “You already have a full house.”
“But it could be good to be around kids her age,” Laura countered. “We are more than happy to keep here.”
“She doesn’t want to go with any of you,” the group turned to see Cooper walking into the kitchen to clean off the dirty dish.
“What do you mean, son?” Clint asked.
“She doesn’t want to be a Barton or live with anyone. She thinks she’s cursed. That if she joins another family something bad will happen to them.” Clint’s heart broke for you. It was so unfair the cards that life had dealt you. You’ve been incredibly strong but how much more could you take?
“What does she want?” Fury asked. Cooper scuffed, crossing his arms as he sent daggers to the most powerful person in this room.
“Cooper,” Clint warned but his son ignored him.
“Did you just ask that?” He asked, walking over to the table. “She wants her mom’s back. But that’s not possible, is it sir?”
*
The house was once again quiet. Elizabeth was staying at a hotel in town until they figured out what to do next. Fury on the other hand took off, not answering where he was headed off to. Clint sat on the couch, a picture of him, Maria, Natasha, and Laura in his hand. It was back in their SHIELD days. They were so young then. Unaware of what life was going to throw at them. Laura sat down next to him, the archer wrapped his free arm around her shoulders. “How are you doing?” She asked.
“Tired of losing people,” he admitted. “I know we signed up for this but it’s so hard.” Laura hummed, resting her head on his shoulder. “I keep thinking it could have been me.”
“But it wasn’t.” No, it wasn’t him at the bottom of Vormir or meeting his end in a foreign country. He even escaped death from a Black Widow assassin. A knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts. “Are you expecting someone?” Laura whispered, sitting up. Clint shook his head, putting his finger to his lips, and stood up. He grabbed a pistol that he kept in a nearby drawer. Guns weren’t his preferred weapon but his bow wasn’t available. Unlocking the safety, he opened the door.
“Clint Barton,” Yelena smirked. “Are you going to shoot me? After everything we’ve been through.”
“Yelena,” the archer said slowly. He blinked at the blonde in front of him. “What are you doing here?”
“To see my niece,” she simply said. “Where is she?” Yelena walked past him, bumping her shoulder against his. Clint put the safety back on and closed the door.
“Time out,” he set the pistol down as Yelena waved at Laura. “You can’t just barge in here like you own the place and demand to see her.”
“And why is that?” Yelena asked, turning to face him. He could see her clearer now. The Black Widow was wearing her white suit, she must have just returned from a mission. He knew she wasn’t working for Valentina anymore.
“Because you refused to see her for the past few months when she desperately wanted to meet you,” he was trying to keep his voice quiet, not wanting to wake the rest of the house. But he saw the hope leave your eyes every time Kate joined them at the farm without Yelena.
“What has changed?” Laura asked. The blonde looked down at her feet. He could see the guilt eating up at her.
“I wasn’t ready to meet her,” Yelena admitted. “And now she’s lost someone else.” She looked up at Clint. “We both know how uncertain this life is. I’ve wasted enough time.”
“You have.”
“We can’t guarantee she’ll talk to you,” Laura said. “She refused to talk to anyone besides our kids.”
“Thank you,” Yelena sighed. “I appreciate it.”
*
When the door opened, you pulled your eyes away from the Polaroid and locket. “Oh,” Laura said with a smile. “I wasn’t expecting you to be awake.” You weren’t sure how to tell that you couldn’t fall asleep. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw them die over and over again. “There is someone that wants to meet you downstairs.” You refused to move. She sighed and walked over to, sitting on the edge of the bed. “You don’t have to talk to us or your grandmother or even Fury but you need to talk to someone about what you are feeling,” you had nothing to say, everything hurt. But you were curious about who was here.
“Who is it?” You finally spoke. Your voice sounded foreign to you. Laura smiled.
“Your aunt.”
Every step you took your heart was thudding against your ribs. The mixture of grief and nervousness was making you sick to your stomach. Once you entered the living room with Laura by your side, Clint and your aunt stood up from the couch. You stared at the blonde. For the longest time, you created an image in your head of what the blonde was like through stories your mama told you and the way the Bartons and Kate talked about her. As you stared at the woman in front of you, she seemed nervous - a stark contrast to the bad-ass assassin you imagined. “Hi,” her accent was deep.
“Why are you here?” You asked. Your blunt question took the room by surprise. The couple excused themselves, saying that they wanted to give you some space. When they left, you joined Yelena on the couch. But you looked forward, unable to look at her anymore. “Mama told me so many stories about you and I was so excited to meet you. I don’t understand why it took my mom dying,” your voice cracked but you refused to cry in front of her. “For you to come and see me.” The blonde sighed, leaning back into the couch.
“I wasn’t good enough,” she admitted. “You needed someone better, someone that was good.” You glanced at her. She had a far-off look in her eyes. You’ve seen that look before when your mama woke up from a nightmare or had a particularly bad day. You saw a lot of her in Yelena even though they weren’t related by blood.
“Are you good now?” You asked.
“I’m not sure but you need me,” you chuckled and rolled your eyes.
“I don’t need anyone,” you said. “I’m going to be fine on my own,” it was Yelena’s turn to laugh.
“So that’s your plan. You are going to set off by yourself and ignore everyone who loves you. What are you like 10?” Your jaw clenched. “I know exactly what you are doing. You are going to push and push everyone away so you don’t feel this pain again. It won’t work,” you refused to speak so she continued, “That pain will only hurt more.”
“What do you expect me to do?” You snapped, jumping to your feet, and looked at her. “It’s like I was hit by a train, I ran out of words. So tell me how my life goes on with them gone?” You asked, pounding your fist against your chest. “It’s like I’m sinking like a stone and I’m so afraid.” You whispered. Her green eyes softened in a way that your mama and mom would look at you. “Don’t look at me like that, please. I’m cursed.”
“Oh, milaya devushka (sweet girl),” Yelena whispered, catching you in her arms as your legs gave out. She gently rocked you, whispering Russian words in your ear.
“Stop it,” you pleaded. “Stop caring,” you weakly hit against her chest.
“That’s not happening,” you ended the hug but Yelena held onto your hands to keep you from running away. “You are not a curse,” she said it so adamantly that you almost believed her. “What happened to your mamas was not your fault. Unfortunately, they knew the risk when they signed up for this lifestyle. I am so sorry they were taken from you so soon,” you stared at your connected hands. They felt like your parents; warm and calloused.
“What am I supposed to do?” You asked.
“I don’t know but life goes on,” you looked up at her. “They made their choice. We have to live with it.” You weren’t the only one to lose someone. Yelena lost her sister. “I know your gut is telling you to run away and hide but you can not do that.”
“Where am I going to go then?” You loved staying with the Bartons and your grandmother but you knew it was temporary. At the end of the day, your mom would be there to pick you up. Now you weren’t sure where you belonged.
“Well,” Yelena slowly said. “You could come with me.” Her offer shocked you. “I could take you to meet my mama and papa or take you back to the city in Kate’s apartments with Lucky or to Ohio, or Canada, or Mexico. We could go anywhere. As long as you don’t run away.”
“Okay,” she seemed surprised by your sudden approval to drop everything you knew and live with her. You smiled. “What? Did you not expect me to take you up on your offer?”
" I wasn’t sure what was going to happen.”
“Natasha always said that she thought you and I would get along,” you told her. “She dreamed of getting a house for all of us. You, me, Maria, and her so we could all be together and safe,” you let go of one of her hands to wipe away your tears. “Maybe part of her dream can still come true.” Yelena nodded, her green eyes glossy with tears.
“Life goes on,” she repeated. You were experiencing deja vu when your mom told you the same thing. It was a weird feeling and couldn’t repeat it back. Instead, you smiled.
“Can we get a dog?” You asked. Yelena laughed.
“I have one but we can get another.” You were still afraid that another wave was going to knock you off your feet and no matter how hard you swam to the surface, no one was there to grab you. You knew Yelena was watching you intensely. A soft whistle broke the silence of the Barton house. You never thought you’d hear that whistle again. You smiled at your aunt and whistled back. They were both right no matter how many people you lost life unfortunately goes on.
_
Remember when we saw that Maria was going to be in secret invasion and we were all excited then they killed her in EP1. Still not over there but whatever! This will probably be the last part of this little AU unless someone requests one or I think of soething else lol
#maria hill x reader#maria hill x daughter!reader#maria hill x you#yelena belova x reader#yelena belova x you#blackhill x daughter!reader#blackhill x you#blackhill x reader#blackhill#natasha romanoff x maria hiill#maria hill x natasha romanoff#clint barton x laura barton#marvel fanfiction#marvel one shot
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Leave a Tender Moment Alone (John Brady x OFC)
Summary: Private Kate Woodward and Lieutenant John Brady are reluctant to wear their hearts on their sleeves, but they're each starting to wonder if maybe they should.
Word count: 1k
Note: Meet Woody! Title comes from the Billy Joel song. For a little bit of context, this takes place before Damn Yankees, but you don't need to read that to understand what's going on in this fic. Do not interact if you’re under 18, terf or radfem, or post thinspo/ED content.
Warnings: Light period-typical misogyny. Inevitable historical and technical inaccuracies.
Private Kate Woodward had a child clinging to her leg, another hanging onto her back, both attached to her like little monkeys.
The village kids were always in the mechanics’ orbit. Woody wanted to be a good role model for them, even if she didn’t quite know what that looked like. She wasn’t exactly keen to admit it to anyone except Holly, but offering her expertise as a mechanic to the WAC wasn’t entirely out of love for country.
After years of wandering aimlessly up and down the West Coast, she woke up one morning and realized she didn’t like her friends (if she could even call them that), working almost exclusively on stolen cars because she couldn’t hold down a legitimate mechanic job, and especially not the type of person she’d become. So she signed up, expecting to be working on jeeps or trucks, but instead found herself applying her knowledge to planes.
Her first commanding officer, Lieutenant Deanna Seberg from Glendale, designated her Woody to differentiate her from the dozen or so Catherines and Kathleens who used Kate as a nickname.
She liked being Woody. Woody was tough and competent yet approachable, likable, even. She tried to be good. Helpful but not too imposing. Kept her cursing to a minimum. Checked her temper. Had to. She was part of something bigger than herself, bigger than any of them could have ever conceived of. Finally found a way out through it. She couldn’t afford to fuck it up.
While the handful of other mechanic girls had gotten their experience through family garages or the odd trade school, they accepted her claim that hers came from messing around with friends’ cars. She was good at what she did. No need to push it.
Thankfully, Kenny had their backs, the young Arkansan drawling that where he came from, women weren’t afraid of getting their hands dirty to get the job done by the end of the day, whatever it may be. If that also involved entertaining English laborers’ kids, fascinated by Americans and their planes, she’d try her damnedest.
“Miss Woody!” Billy shouted, making a running start toward her.
“Wait!” she yelled. “I can’t—“
Just before impact, which would have surely sent her directly to the ground with three children in tow, Billy was scooped up in Lieutenant John Brady’s arms.
“You could take off with that speed, buddy,” he said, flying the boy around for a moment before setting him on his feet and ruffling his hair.
Woody smiled as the other two children climbed off of her. “You saved the day, Lieutenant.”
“Miss Woody, now you’ve got to give the hero a kiss!” Sarah, the young girl who’d been hanging off her back exclaimed with a flourish of her hands. “That’s what happens in the stories.”
Brady shook his head. “Miss Woody doesn’t have to—“
Woody gave him a quick peck on the cheek, their small audience of Billy, Sammy, and Sarah giggling and cheering in delight. “Why don’t you kids go make some trouble for Mr. Kenny?”
The children ran off, arms spread out wide as they imitated planes themselves. God, had she ever been that carefree as a kid?
Brady cleared his throat. “I came by to see how the fort’s doing.”
“And just in time. That would’ve been a hell of a tumble if it weren’t for you,” she said.
“You’re great with those kids.”
She smiled. “Thanks. I try to be the kind of adult I wish I had around when I was their age, you know?”
“That’s good of you.”
“C’mon, I’ll show you what we’ve done so far.”
He stuck close to her as they made their way around the damaged plane, Woody taking care to let him know exactly what had been fixed so far and where they were having a bit of trouble. Shuffled a little closer to her when she pointed at one of the engines.
He smelled nice, a reprieve from the mix of fuel, motor oil, and sweat. Not to mention the occasional whiff of cow manure drifting through the air on a strong breeze. For a moment, she envisioned her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck while something soft and slow filled the room. Wondered how he’d hold her.
Shit. Stop daydreaming.
She glanced at him every so often. His expression didn’t change much. Brows furrowed, handsome face etched with concern as he scrutinized the state of his plane.
“Really, I’ve seen worse,” she said.
He scoffed. “That’s reassuring.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I don’t need you to tell me that.”
Certainly wasn’t the first plane he crash-landed, but as soon as the words left his mouth, he could practically hear his mother’s voice, ‘John Brady, I did not raise you to speak to young ladies that way.’ Except he’d hardly consider Woody a young lady. She was a mechanic with a mouth when she got a few beers in her. More rough-and-tumble than any of the girls he grew up with.
Everyone seemed to like her, though. Hell, he sure did. Hambone already made a stupid comment about how he should ‘ask Woody to kiss it better’ when his fort, so comically named Brady’s Crash Wagon, went up in smoke. Probably why it smarted to feel like she pitied him or something.
Smarted worse to see the way her lips pressed in a thin line. Kept her gaze anywhere but him.
“Kenny told me you stay out here late working on it. Thank you,” he said, a stubborn substitution for an apology. “I appreciate that.”
“You’re welcome.”
Silence.
Wasn’t sure what else he could say, and she was doing everything but telling him to buzz off.
“Well, I’ll let you get back to it, Woody.”
She nodded. “See you around, sir.”
He tried not to kick himself too much as he walked off, not entirely sure where he was going.
“Hey Lieutenant!” Woody shouted when there was a few yards of distance between them.
He stopped in his tracks, turning around to look at her. “What is it?”
“You got something—“ She gestured to her own cheek.
He wiped the spot on his cheek where she had kissed him and fought back a smile at the grease smudged on his fingertips.
#john brady x oc#john brady x ofc#masters of the air#masters of the air x oc#john brady#masters of the air x ofc#mota x oc#mota#mota x ofc#mota fanfic#hbo war fanfic#hbo war#ch: woody#let's hear it for emotional constipation and mutual pining
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Our Flag Means Death Costume Designer Breaks Down Season 2's Punk-Pirate Looks
Gypsy Taylor explains the surprising historical details that influenced the 'rule-bending' comedy's costumes
Rhys Darby, Our Flag Means Death (Nicola Dove/Max)
[Warning: The following contains spoilers for the Season 2 finale of Our Flag Means Death.]
Packing a ton of plot twists and emotional upheaval into a tightly paced eight episodes, Our Flag Means Death just concluded its tumultuous second season. Season 2 ends on a heartwarming note, with Ed "Blackbeard" Teach (Taika Waititi) and Stede Bonnet (Rhys Darby) settling down to open an inn together. This gives fans a satisfying happily-ever-after if the show ends here — although showrunner David Jenkins intentionally left things open for a potential third and final season, teasing a team-up between Stede, Blackbeard, and pirate queen Zheng Yi Sao (Ruibo Qian).
Along the way, Our Flag Means Death continued to deliver its unique brand of historical storytelling, offering a chaotic mash-up of 18th century sources and modern themes. Working in tandem with theatrical visual effects and a soundtrack featuring Kate Bush and Nina Simone, costumes play a key role.
To cap off the season, TV Guide spoke with costume designer Gypsy Taylor. Among other topics, we discussed Stede and Blackbeard's evolving wardrobe, the historical research behind characters like Zheng Yi Sao, and Taylor's favorite unsung costuming details among the supporting cast.
This season there's a lot of journey to the costumes. Characters are experimenting with self-expression. I'd like to talk first about Stede, who starts as a caricature of a foppish aristocrat, but looks a lot more practical this season. What was the vision for that look?
Gypsy Taylor: The story is that he's lost everything. Blackbeard's gone on a heartbroken rampage and he's destroyed everything that looks like Stede on the ship — which would include that wonderful wardrobe. You know, like how you'd throw your boyfriend's clothes in a box out the window.
Stede was on his boat heading to the island at the end of Season 1, just wearing this one outfit. We see him in a filthy version, he's been living in it for two or three months. Rhys [Darby] was a little bit disappointed because he was like, "Do I get to wear any rings?" And I was like, "No! You've lost them all!" Then as the season starts to go on, he starts stealing some other pirate clothes and he starts to get really sexy and come into his own gorgeous pirate self.
And he gets that cursed suit.
Taylor: The cursed suit was so much fun! That's the first time in months that he's seen something beautiful like what he used to own. It's on this Spanish ship, so we went with a dandy matador look. Rhys put the calico version of that on in the fitting room and instantly embodied this character. He was flicking the tails and spinning around and he stood up straighter and his butt clenched… It was magic to watch.
I love that dandy side of him. There's a lot going on in terms of gender presentation with the main guys. They're both trying to escape toxic masculinity, but Stede's also chasing this idea of being a badass, and then Ed is doing the opposite because he abandons his leathers. I'd love to hear your thoughts on that, and how Ed is for half the season wearing things like sackcloth and linen.
Taylor: The leather is very constraining, and it's very much his persona of Blackbeard. To lose all of that means he's lost his toughness, and that exterior that's sort of like armor. So we went straight for the opposite end and just put him in a rice sack that he'd made into a jumpsuit. The idea behind it was that Wee John had sewn it because he'd started to learn to sew and knit — the concept being that there [were] rice sacks below the decks, which was very common in pirate ships.
Once Buttons turns into a seagull, his clothes were left behind on the ship. So Blackbeard takes those linen clothes, and he's like, "This feels right, this is kind of light."
I don't know if you're able to speculate about Season 3, but given the symbolism of Ed's leathers, do you think we've seen the end of that outfit, or is it going to stick around?
Taylor: I can't say anything to Season 3, but I do know that in the finale the leathers magically come back. I had a conversation with [showrunner] David Jenkins because he says, "Well, we have to end the show with him wearing his Blackbeard leathers, that's what we all know of him." And I was like, "How the hell has he gotten them?" You know he's thrown them off the boat, into the ocean, never to be seen again. And David just turned to me and went, "He's Blackbeard, he can do anything." I thought that was pretty funny.
Taika Waititi, Our Flag Means Death (Nicola Dove/Max)
That's exactly the kind of fairy-tale logic the show thrives on.
Taylor: We often refer to it as Looney Tunes. It's not exactly historically correct. Funny sh-- happens and we all sort of took on that Looney Tunes theory of like, episodes change and something appears and then it doesn't.
The good thing with costume and pirates is that the way they get their outfits is they just steal them. So whatever we came up with, I was like, "Oh well, they run into a French ship and they've stolen a great leather jacket." Costume elements could appear based on that rule that pirates steal anything.
I'd love to hear a bit about the crew's looks. The show does a really good job of illustrating their personalities, but this season a lot of them also have this makeover where they start out wearing Blackbeard's goth/punk outfits, then change into something more comfortable.
Taylor: Characters like Izzy and Fang were already established in the Blackbeard gang, so we didn't change them too much. With Fang I added extra sperm whale teeth and extra studs. I got rid of his shirt and we covered him in tattoos. Time had passed and he'd evolved a bit. Izzy was very classic, so we didn't need to change him at all. He was pretty adamant not to be evolved as the other guys had been.
Frenchie and Jim, which are the biggest transformations we see, they've spent months at sea with Blackbeard, who is a tyrant. He's made them wear head-to-toe black, and they've had to piece together outfits from around the ship. So Jim is covered in all these ropes to make them look tougher, and their belt is a giant fish hook. Frenchie's an artist, and he's stolen a beautiful leather jacket — he's brought the little flag element into the back of his jacket with some embellishment. Then Archie just looks like she's picked out of a crowd of pirates from the Republic of Pirates.
As far as the other characters go, we continued on from Season 1 and just kept their same outfits, but three months later. They were stuck on an island, so I gave Wee John a little necklace that he'd tied out of old rings that he'd found. And we gave Olu some shells and pieces that they could've crafted on the island.
Once we see them all go to Zheng's ship, I wanted to keep elements of the Zheng uniform. So you see with Black Pete, he kept the shirt but ripped off the sleeves and got some new pants, and Roach kept the pants. It starts to become like a mesh of all the little adventures that they've gone through, or the trauma that they've gone through.
Our Flag Means Death (Nicola Dove/Max)
I love the contrast you mentioned between Izzy and the others. All the other characters are having fun experimenting with their looks, and Izzy is so static. Do you think he's more sure of his identity?
Taylor: Definitely sure of his identity, you nailed it there. He's also very sentimental, like he's got his mother's ring around his little scarf. You know his glove on his hand, he wanted to keep it on that hand and I was like, "Shall we add some studs to it?" And he was like, "No no, keep it as it is." He's just very much about routine and rules and sentimentality.
Even for Calypso's party, I was like, "How far do we wanna go?" Everybody's dressing up and covering themselves in flowers. Once we learned that he was singing La Vie En Rose I was like, "I think we should keep it classic." Just put a little rose here, and Wee John's done your makeup, and you'll look classic and beautiful.
This show has a really fun relationship with historical accuracy. I was interested to read that you do a lot of historical research, maybe more than other members of the creative team. How do you decide which characters should look more historical and which ones are more anachronistic?
Taylor: I always started with the historical first. I actually didn't know much about Captain Zheng, so I got really into the history of pirates. I would always start there, with that 18th century historical moodboard of the paintings that were done of them, or the etchings. Then I'd add our rule-bending concept, which was to make everything a bit more rock 'n' roll and a bit more streets of New York in the '80s.
I was able to push completely out of the historical, and put things like safety pins and screen-printing and bleach. You know, zips and studs, and all these things that are very 20th century costume elements, but on an 18th century silhouette.
Is Zheng based on a specific 18th century outfit?
Taylor: There's one really specific [etching], she's wearing those Chinese pants. I looked at a lot of 18th century Chinese work uniforms as well, I looked at one from a collection from a museum. We copied that exact neckline of an 18th century Chinese smock. The same with the shoes. I looked at some workers' shoes from the 18th century, and they had those kind of black ballet flats with a woven bottom and little white socks.
I was using beautiful Chinese silks and Japanese embroidery techniques that were used in the 18th century, and sort of mish-mashing it all together because she would travel the Silk Road through Egypt and Morocco, and collect all these fabrics.
Same with Anne Bonny. Again, there's some etchings of the real Anne Bonny — quite a famous one with her gun and her pants. I was like, "Oh yeah, I wanna start there and then I wanna sex her up a lot," because her and her girlfriend have a really great S&M relationship, really sadistic. I wanted to bring that fetish element into her. That's where the corset came from. We based that on an 18th century corset, but made it leather because it was more pirate-y.
The twist on her was that David Jenkins came to me and said, "This episode is basically Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" And I was like, "Great, I love that movie!" So I went home and watched that movie, and noticed that Elizabeth Taylor has this beautiful necklace and this patterned blouse. I was like, "Let's recreate this pattern on Elizabeth Taylor's blouse," which is set in the early 1960s. So we recreated it and then made an 18th century blouse.
Driver Minnie and Rachel House Our Flag Means Death (Nicola Dove/Max)
I feel like this season the villains are the most historically accurate. There's this contrast: Ned Low and Prince Ricky have a formal look, like with the British naval uniforms, and then the good guys have this anarchic vibe.
Taylor: Yeah, I never really wanted to mess with the uniforms. That was actually a really fun one to get historically correct. We had the proper frock coats and the heavy wools, and the heavy brocade. Ned Low and Ricky were very much straight out of an 18th century historical book. But then with Ricky, I gave him the one black lace Madonna-meets-Michael Jackson glove, just to mess with it a little bit.
With Ned Low, once we had his beautiful Paganini-inspired 18th century suit on, David Jenkins was like, "I just picture him being silver." We painted his suit silver, and then art department and props came up with a silver violin, and makeup put these silver teeth in. So he's instantly turned into a rock star.
Finally, are there any little details that you'd like to highlight for viewers?
Taylor: One of the background characters that I love the most is one of these pirates when Stede is the maitre d' at Spanish Jackie's. His first encounter with a customer is this horrible swearing pirate. I'd been listening to a pirate podcast that morning on the way to work, and I was learning all about how many rats were on board. I was like, "I reckon that pirate should just have a whole jacket made out of rats." That's what you'd do with all the dead rats, right? You'd have a little fur bolero.
I asked one of my team members to make me like a hundred little fur rats. She'd hand-sewn all the tails and little feet and ears. Then we built this vest and they covered it in blood and dirt, and made it all like wet rats that had been living at sea for a hundred years.
That's the kind of thing you might see a fan wearing at a convention, a really specific background character.
Taylor: God, I hope so. You'd have to get in real close to see there's actually little tails all over the whole thing.
I'm trying to think of another really sweet thing. That whole Silk Road thing was really interesting to me. I found this museum piece of a necklace that was all these little leather satchels that collected little pieces along their travels. We started making this beautiful piece, and we ended up giving it to Auntie. It's these little trinkets from Japan and Egypt and Morocco; she wears all her souvenirs around her neck close to her heart. There's a lot of little things like that where we go into great detail and I give a little backstory, but maybe no one will ever notice. Or they might! You never know!
Our Flag Means Death Season 2 is now streaming on Max.
Source: TV Guide
#rhys darby#ofmd#our flag means death#taika waititi#behind the scenes#gypsy taylor#costumes#tv guide#ofmd s2 spoilers
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Fond Farewells Mark the End of an Era for The Crown.
Pt 2 of Season 6 Accedes to the Next Generation – But Reigns Most Triumphant Saluting Its Sovereign.
Review & gifs by L.L @The Crown TV
I wasn't sure what to expect from the final 6 preview episodes of The Crown. Part 1 gifted us with a season-defining performance from Elizabeth Debicki, but such intense focus on the tragedy of Diana and Dodi's deaths was heavy-going. How to move forward?
Not many TV shows stick the landing, but I believe The Crown does, mostly by putting Queen Elizabeth front and centre. In four different ways! But Part 2 takes a while to forge ahead and reign triumphant.
Ed McVey and Meg Bellamy make shy William and swotty Kate believable as a young couple who meet at university – or earlier, as per a flashback with (not Ghost!) Diana. I still found it hard to invest in their will-they-won't-they relationship (we already know they do.)
Instead, it’s sisters Elizabeth and Margaret who have long been the emotional heart of this show; at every stage of their lives.
Former Oscar-nominee Lesley Manville (alongside Queen Imelda Staunton) is truly magnificent in Ep 8 as Princess Margaret, though it's painful watching this vibrant lady struggle as her health worsens.
Memories of the 1940's are a delight. However, I wish we'd seen more of wide-eyed teen Lilibet let loose (Viola Prettejohn) and carefree Marg (Beau Gadsdon) before older Margaret says her final goodbye.
Staunton saves her best for last, bringing dry humour, vulnerability as well as leadership to Ep 10. The 70+ min epic finale 'Sleep, Dearie Sleep' has its shaky moments, but beautifully completes Queen Elizabeth's story when it counts, bringing near-perfect closure. That alone elevates Season 6 beyond Season 5.
Warning - MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD. This is my final *EVER* review (might be extra long!)
S6 is NOW ON NETFLIX - WATCH THE EPISODES before reading.
Images: courtesy of Netflix
Starting with less good news; the first couple of episodes of Part 2 were my least favourite. Ep 5, 'Willsmania', feels transitional, and a little stuck in the past. Following his mother's death, Prince William (Ed McVey; taking over from younger actor Rufus Kampa) turns inward as he struggles to cope with public attention and grief.
It's an understandable reaction to losing a parent, but Part 1 already spent nearly half a season on Dodi and Diana. It felt like we grieved in real time. As a result, whenever the subject of Diana crops up again in Part 2, it tends to weigh down both pace and narrative.
Ep 6 brings a welcome change of topic. This being The Crown, I'm sure there are critics poised to be offended by Queen Elizabeth's nightmare about Prime Minister Tony Blair being crowned king, but to me, his 'coronation' was hilarious, as was the choir boy singing Blair's cheesy Labour pop anthem.
It felt like deliberate tongue-in-cheek humour, an absurd reminder why monarchy might still be better than populist elected leaders.
I really wanted this episode to work, but it didn't go anywhere, and themes like tradition-vs-modernity were covered more effectively in episodes such as 'Marionettes.' Bertie Carvel has Tony Blair's voice down but suffers from comparisons with Michael Sheen, who was uncanny as the Prime Minister in 3 earlier Peter Morgan projects.
^ PM Tony Blair. The Women's Institute weren't fans of his grandstanding.
The Crown: The Next Generation fully arrives during Ep's 7, 9 & 10. Some will love it. Those who prefer more historical episodes with broader scope may be disappointed, as the show follows William and Kate through University life in the early 2000's.
The newcomers do bring fresh energy to the show. It helps that they cast Ed McVey and Meg Bellamy, who make a sweet couple as Will and Kate, even if William sometimes comes across as petulant.
Unlike Ed McVey as William, Luther Ford doesn't bear much physical resemblance to Prince Harry, other than red hair. Ford does however put in a good performance as Harry becomes increasingly reckless.
The Crown doesn't hide either Harry or William's bad behaviour. The brothers seem to get on well at the start, but it later seems like they're more at odds. Underneath a lot – a LOT – of boozing, both boys appear quietly screwed-up over their mother's death. Neither of them seem to enjoy playing happy families with Charles, either.
The show mostly concentrates on William and Kate, but there aren't many episodes left to develop a genuine romance. They have potential, but it feels fairly surface level. Suddenly, they rush to move into a house share together when we've barely seen them kiss. They (and we) needed more screen time to really get to know each other.
There's a bigger issue here with Kate's mother, Carole Middleton (Eve Best.) Pushy parent Carole is keen to play matchmaker between her 'commoner' daughter and the young eligible Prince, keeping tabs on William. Carole isn't as conniving, but ... didn't we just watch a similar storyline with Mohamed Al-Fayed/Dodi/Diana in Part 1?
^ Kate 'n' Will. Her Mum would frame this picture.
Ep 8 'Ritz' plays like a standalone film. Margaret's final story is touching, but upsetting, at times; I was a fan of Diana, yet sobbed as much for Margaret as the credits rolled, even though her eventual death isn't shown. In fact, her final goodbye is sensitively done and stands as a fitting tribute to the princess, as well as to the Queen.
Lesley Manville makes Margaret's predicament so real as her health slowly breaks down. She bounces back from one stroke, then another hits. How awful too for Elizabeth to watch a much-loved sister deteriorate, though it was wonderful to see Lilibet read Margaret a bedtime story. It brought out the warmer side of Staunton's Queen.
The scene where Margaret scalds her feet in the bath is genuinely horrifying. I've suffered from ill health and loss of control myself and this was so much worse. I could feel her pain. That poor woman.
Human moments are where The Crown excels; through this episode, this working-class lass from a council house could somehow relate to a Princess in a palace. Peter Morgan has surely done more to humanise the royal family than any P.R team ever could.
^ Fans of Margaret (and Lesley Manville) prepare yourselves for her sad final journey.
Onto the big reveal: when I mentioned at the start there are FOUR ways Queen Elizabeth appears – this is what I meant:-
^ Newcomer Viola Prettejohn plays teenage Princess Elizabeth.
^ & there's Olivia Colman & Claire Foy alongside older Queen Imelda Staunton.
Satisfyingly, all 3 of The Crown's leading ladies return to close the show. Olivia Colman and Claire Foy each have an additional scene, too (I won't spoil the entire finale, as it covers a lot of ground in over 70 mins, but Olivia and Claire aren't back as 'ghosts.')
As we get older, the ghosts who speak loudest are our own; the former versions of us we berate ourselves with. Not everyone may warm to the Queen (sort of) talking to herself, but personally, I was thrilled to see these talented actors on screen together.
Foy's scene with Staunton is particularly effective, as the younger Queen gives her older self an old-fashioned dutiful talking to. It's somehow also credible that they're aspects of the same person.
It reminded me of Peter Morgan’s 2013 (extraordinary) play, ‘The Audience', which inspired this series, and included scenes where Helen Mirren shared the stage with young Elizabeth. That play is also why this theatre-fan started watching The Crown to begin with, and later went on to create this website.
When Ep 10 finished playing, my Netflix returned itself to Season 1. 60 episodes over 7 years! I will miss the grand scale of The Crown, but appreciate the legacy which remains. Now feels like the right time for this story to end. A full-circle moment in more ways than one.
**Majestic thanks for reading, and to every person who has liked, reblogged, messaged, supported The Crown TV for all these years.
💎♕You each deserve a Crown of your own!♕💎**
N.B: These are my humble opinions at this point in time. No offence is intended. Agreement = lovely; not compulsory. Disagreement = happens; kindly coexist. Ta!
#the crown#queen elizabeth ii#imelda staunton#princess margaret#lesley manville#tony blair#bertie carvel#william and kate#ed mcvey#meg bellamy#viola prettejohn#claire foy#olivia colman#reviews#articles#season 6#pt 2#gifs#the crown spoilers
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Cannot stop thinking about how perfectly chosen the music was for the two, absolutely parallel scenes - “Our Prayer” in s1 when Stede is on the brink of death, brought back by the appearance of Ed, and “This Woman’s Work” when Ed is literally brought back to life by the love between him and Stede. Two songs dripping with holy reverence, hope, and beauty. Like the scenes complement each other perfectly, and so do their soundtracks. “This Woman’s Work” especially I think is a song like genetically engineered to pull at the sob reflex because man talk about the involuntary response I had as soon as Kate Bush started vocalizing HELLO??? How are they so good at this. I love the way the music is another character in this story.
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SPOILERS ALERT! (Obviously!)
I haven't actually finished. Just one more chapter left. But its fine. I'm done with the major plot anyways. Let's start!
How do I feel about Elbert's route?
All in all, it was kinda....meh. I wasn't entirely bad nor it was good. It's just...I'm so dissatisfied.
How was the story?
It was half boring and half good. I chose the Madness route and let me just say, for how dark Elbert's story is, the ending is just so disappointing. Now this is just the Madness route, maybe in the Blind route is much better (I hope it is).
El's story mainly contains two stories - 1. Main story that reveals El's past and his curse and 2. Bernard&Co. I'll be honest... I don't care about Bernard and his company! Nor do I care about Gabriel and his kinky stuff nor Daisy and her blue poppies. It really has nothing to do with El's past. It's just boring side story that just keeps getting in the way of the main storyline and it cannot be avoided. I honestly didn't pay any attention to Bernard&Co story because I was bored and I'm more interested in getting to know El.
On the other hand, I was quite interested in El's past. Yes! It's one of the most tragic ones I've heard. I love how dark it is and the writers did a good job in making me actually hate EVERYONE related to El. I also loved how they showed the scene where Al tells Kate about El's past in a library where they first met and at the same time, El was having a dream where he sees his whole childhood. It's a nice transition. They keep switching between Kate's pov to El's pov from time to time. Good job! I liked that.
The writers did keep me interested in the story because to be honest, I was really looking forward on how El finally comes out from his tragic past and faces his true nemesis. But they went and ruined it in the end so much so that it WASN'T WORTH SPENDING 1500 DIAMONDS and 25 story tickets!!! Yes! I did use my diamonds, which I've been saving for Jude, on story tickets.....because I was so hooked! I couldn't wait 10 days and I couldn't sleep until I found out what's going to be Jeffery's ending.
What happens to Jeffery?
By this time, you must know that, Jeffery is the true main villain in El's route. Not Gabriel Bernard. If you don't know, Jeffery was the chief butler of the Greetia house. He and the other servants SA-ed El everyday since he was 9-year-old. Not only this, let me list out all the crimes he has committed:
SA-ed a minor everyday.
Brainwashed and manipulated that same child.
Bribed a guy to kidnapped Kate and also told him to sell her, because you know, she was preventing him from SA-ing El.
Tried to kill Kate.
And also being completely delusional in thinking that the reason why El was trying to kill him because Kate brainwashed him and not because...all of the above.
Yeah. So you'd think, a monster like that would get painful death, right? But no. El just shows up, says hi and stabs him with his sword. That's it.
I was really disappointed, because I thought, El was going to make him suffer for what he has done and killing him as painfully as possible, because he deserves it. For some reason, the writers just made it anticlimactic. If I compare this ending with William and Harrison, their ending is much more exciting. Especially William's...I'll translate that as soon as my exam is over...so please be patient, it's on Sep 8th. Okay?
But yeah, that's it. I don't how El kills him in the other ending. Someone told me that El poisons him. Poison apple I guess. I'll see that when I play the other ending, but not anytime soon.
What is El's tragic ending?
El's tragic ending according to Victor is to die while being unsatisfied. We see El trying to collect the most beautiful thing in the world, but El's tragic end is, he will die without getting that most beautiful thing.
What about Al?
I still don't understand why Al kissed Kate. It still confuses me and Yes! Kate does tell El that Al kissed her and El was like--
Kate: "Well....Mr. Alphonse.....kissed me on the lip--"
El kisses her before she could finish her sentence.
El: "Tell me Kate, who is your daddy?"
Kate: *blushes* "It's Lord Elbert...."
El: *smiling* "Good."
El: "If it's Al, I don't mind..."
Kate: "You're....n-not going to kill him, right?"
El: "If it was someone else, I would have.......I'd rather you not, but if you want to kiss someone else besides me, it should be only Al."
Kate: *jealous* "I don't want to kiss someone else. I only want to kiss you..."
Yeah, that's El's reaction. He was surprisingly calm about it. Al on the other hand is starting to grow on me. He's like the Mitsuhide of this game, so mysterious that you can't tell if he's on good side or bad side. El seems to trust Al very much. Yes, he is jealous about Kate spending time with another man, but he also trusts Al and knows that no matter what, Al will keep her safe. Al on the other hand dislikes the fact that both Kate and El trusts him so much. I don't know if Al even likes El as friend. Sometimes he acts like friend and sometimes he doesn't. It's so confusing, so I'm really looking forward for his route.
Kate and El
Honestly, these two are made for each other. Both are jealous possessive types that keeps asking each other if they were thinking about each other while they were apart. There are only some cute moments here and there, like El staring at Kate so he could get into her heart and also making sure that she only looks at him and only thinks about him and also grabs her face and makes it turn to look at him and also asking to look only at him lol. It's a funny scene I liked it. But most of his route is full of sadness and sadness and .....lots of sadness. You get my point.
Final thoughts
This post is really short but there is not much to talk about because I already spoiled you guys about El's past which is the major part of the story.
I wish the story was bit more exciting, at least the writers could have improved the ending of Jeffery after making me hate him so much. All in all it was a pretty meh experience. I still think Harry's route is the best one so far.
#ikemen series#otome#cybird ikemen#cybird otome#ikemen villain#cybird#ikemen villains#ikemen mc#ikemen villains elbert
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정윤아 … … ( DUST BOWL. )
❝The excuses we make for them are outrageous, but they’re nothing compared with the ones we make for ourselves.❞
― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
CHARACTERS : JUNG YOONAH … KANG JUWON … REID KIM
WORDS : 4.0K
WARNINGS / NOTES : Panic Attacks. Discussions of Drug Addiction, Abuse, Grooming, Being Locked in a Room Unwillingly, and Suicide. Lots of gears are turning now and I'm very excited! Yoonah going through it as usual! If I missed something, just let me know! Thank you so much for reading! rbs, comments, and asks are always appreciated ♡
“You think he’s going to buy your contract too?”
“I know he’s going to.”
“He told you?”
“No,” Reid takes a drag of his cigarette, shaking his long black hair out of his eyes as he leans against the back of the Rejects dorm, sitting in the dying grass of their backyard. “But he’s predictable.”
Yoonah huffs through her nose, smiling at the ground as she plays with Reid’s black lighter, letting the smooth plastic slide between her fingers.
“He is.”
Yoonah and Reid can talk for hours, but they never say much. It’s not like they have to. They already know so much about one another, what the other has been through, what they’ve seen, everything through fragmented conversations in a bloody bathtub. They’ve practically outgrown words and have matured into silences that say everything they need to say.
The silence between them right now is uncertain, only filled with puffs of smoke Reid exhales and inhales.
It was never easy to talk about Jinhwa with most people. Yoonah has tried to talk about him with Juwon but always wrapped her stories up too early when she’d see the look of horror on his face. She knew it wasn’t at her, but if someone as weathered as Juwon could hear her story and be moved to the point of grimacing, she had to wonder how bad it all was.
The girls were no better. She tries to tell them about him, about what happened between them, but it always comes off wrong. Either too loving or too detached. “You still talk like you love him,” Chloe told her once while they were writing songs together, an activity that has become rare with time. They fought for twenty minutes after she said that, resulting in an unfinished song and Yoonah going home to cry into Juwon’s shoulder.
With Reid, it was never hard to talk about Jinhwa. He just seemed to understand even when she didn’t say anything.
Yoonah flicks the lighter to ignite a flame, watching the orange and yellow flicker and twist around. Reid watches her without words, honey-brown hues scanning her face for any kind of words. He stares at her for longer than what would be deemed appropriate, but Yoonah isn’t uncomfortable or even put off. She feels an odd sense of comfort. A weak gust of wind puts out the flame of her lighter, making her lips quirk to the side. Her gaze finally meets Reid’s, turning her head to face him. She can’t stop herself from smiling when she looks at him.
“Are you going to sign with him?” Yoonah wonders as she reaches over to take the cigarette from between his plump lips, placing it between hers to take a drag. Reid watches her with a soft chuckle, resting his head against the back of the house.
“Probably,” Reid sighs, “Unless you don’t want me to.”
Yoonah scoffs, smoke wisping out of her mouth as she does so.
“Don’t say that.”
“I mean it,” Reid assures with a raise of his brows as he nods to elaborate. Yoonah gives him an unamused look before shaking her head and taking another drag of his cigarette. “I care about what you think. You’re my friend, you know?”
“I’m just a friend,” Yoonah reminds him. Reid smacks his lips together, eyes widening and head bobbling to tease her. She laughs, playfully hitting his arm with her free hand. “My opinion shouldn’t stunt your career.”
Reid rolls his eyes at her, giving her an unamused look before shrugging.
“I’m in a co-ed group,” Reid reminds her as he plucks his cigarette from between her fingers and puts it back between his lips. “My career has always been stunted.”
Yoonah laughs at that, hitting his arm again. She sees Reid smile around his cigarette, proud that his joke landed as he turns his head away to keep her from seeing his smile. It was a rare sight to see Reid smile so genuinely. She couldn't help but feel a warmth fill her chest, a feeling like she was home. She glances over at him, her heart skipping a beat as he takes another drag of his cigarette, his smile disappearing as he turns back into view.
“Seriously, though. I don’t want something so superficial to take this away.”
“This?” Yoonah repeats with a small smirk, raising her brows at him. Reid smiles again, this time shier and more nervous. He rubs his palm on his jeans.
“You know what I mean.” They lock eyes for a moment before Yoonah hums, looking at the grass and then at the fence in front of them.
“It’s fine, Sangwon. He’ll make you anyway.” Yoonah says the quiet part out loud, not looking up so she doesn’t have to see Reid’s reaction to the truth. She clears her throat.
“Thank you for asking, though. It means a lot.” She still doesn’t look at him, rubbing her fingers together. Suddenly, she feels his hand on the top of her head, making her look up with a small chuckle as he pats her head.
“Anything for you, Nana.” Reid smiles, squeezing the top of her head gently before letting go. Yoonah takes a deep breath, feeling her cheeks heat up as she realizes she’s been blushing this whole time.
“Jinhwa! Jinhwa!” Her fist pounds on the door before going to the knob, trying to twist it but finding it locked. Yoonah pounds on the door again, a cry leaving her lips as her brows knit together in panic. “Jinhwa! Open the door!”
He doesn’t say anything, but she knows he’s there. Her heart is pounding, and her head is spinning. She pulls at the knob again, letting out a yell when it doesn’t budge. “Let me the fuck out!” Yoonah shouts, ramming her shoulder into the door once, twice, three times before letting out a scream. She’s lost so much weight these past few months it’s useless. The door doesn’t budge, and the man behind it still says nothing. Yoonah shakes her hands' card through her bleached blond hair, taking a deep breath that studders and turns into a whimper when tears spring into her eyes.
“Jinhwa…” Yoonah calls desperately, fear clear in her voice as she takes another shaky breath. “Jinhwa, please let me out.”
She can hear him sigh through the door. Yoonah rushes to the door, putting her palms flat against it as her bottom lip trembles.
“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t-I shouldn’t have come here like this. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. Please, let me out. I-I don’t want to be alone. Jinhwa, please.” Yoonah pleads desperately, her voice cracking and tears beginning to fall from her eyes as her head falls against the wood with a sob.
For a moment, she doesn’t think he’s going to say anything, making her sob again, shutting her eyes tightly.
“It’s just until you sober up,” He finally says, making her weakly hit her head against the door with another sob. “Just get some rest, Yoonah.”
Yoonah blinks herself awake, eyes wide and looking around before jolting up to take in her surroundings. Her heart is pounding and in her throat as she looks around, seeing her and Juwon’s room not Jinhwa’s. Her clothes are on the floor, Juwon’s bottom dresser drawer is slightly ajar, the blinds are shut, and Juwon sleeps beside her with soft yet deep breaths.
Without thought, she puts a hand on his arm, taking a deep breath when she feels his warm skin beneath her palm. He shifts in his sleep with a small grunt, rolling on his back, and she moves her hand to his chest.
“You had the dream again?” Juwon asks groggily, eyes still shut as Yoonah swallows the spit in her mouth. She doesn’t answer; she just exhales shakily through her nose, which seems to answer enough for Juwon. He opens his eyes, rubbing them with the heel of his palm as his other hand wraps around her waist to pull her down to his chest. Yoonah falls against him, resting her palm on his stomach and her cheek against his chest's warm skin.
Juwon’s hand rubs gently at her side, pressing his lips to the top of her head to soothe her, but nothing inside Yoonah relaxes. She stares ahead of her, moving her hand against his stomach as she does so to feel his skin beneath her. Juwon is strong and sculpted, warm, and comforting, except now. The warmth doesn’t reach her racing heart, making her brows pinch and bottom lip quiver. A silent plea goes through her head as she feels her bottom lip tremble, begging herself to calm down to find peace in the man she’s supposed to love for the rest of her life, but the plea is left unanswered, and a sob escapes her lips.
“Baby,” Juwon whispers as she ducks her head down to press into his chest as if to burrow herself into his ribcage, locking herself inside him so she could never leave. “It’s okay. It’s okay. He can’t hurt you anymore.” It’s the same mantra Juwon has repeated to her for months now, but tonight it felt especially hollow. Yoonah swallows thickly, lifting her head with a sniffle as she looks at Juwon’s face. He’s already staring at her, long black hair around him like a halo, features strong and striking as usual as he reaches up to take her face into his palm, stroking her wet cheek with his thumb. She blinks down at him, tears still spilling from her eyes as her lips part to speak, but just a sigh comes out.
“I ache,” Yoonah finally whispers, touching her heart. I want to feel normal again. I feel like I’m going crazy.” Juwon tucks her hair behind her ear, his dark brows knitting at her confession before he nods with a sad smile. Yoonah can see the guilt in his eyes, which only makes her ache more.
“It’ll take time–”
“I don’t have time, Juwon. Every day, it just gets worse, and I–” She stops herself before her admission, shaking her head as more tears roll down her cheeks. Juwon pushes himself to sit up in the midst of her talking, taking her head into both his hands and pulling her towards him to rest their foreheads together. Yoonah takes a shaky breath, another sob tumbling from her lips as his nose bumps against hers.
“I won’t let anything happen to you, do you understand? I love you so much, Yoonah. I’d do anything to keep you safe.”
Anything but say no, she thinks as she stares into his eyes with an unrelenting gaze. Yoonah bites the inside of her cheek, shaking her head out of his hands with another sniffle. Juwon sighed in defeat when she pulled away from him, watching as she climbed out of their bed, wearing athletic shorts and a tank top. She’s been wearing his shirts less and less. They don’t seem to fit right anymore.
Yoonah locks herself in their bathroom, keeping the light off for a few moments so the only light that fills the small room is the warm orange one from the nightlight near the sink.
Yoonah exhales shakily, her reflection in the mirror showing a face streaked with tears and eyes filled with turmoil. She reaches for her phone on the sink counter, her fingers hovering over Reid's contact before finally pressing call. The phone rings once, twice, and then a deep voice answers.
"Yoonah? Are you okay? What happened?"
A strange sense of calm washes over her at the sound of his voice, like a cool breeze on a scorching day. "Reid," she breathes out, her voice barely above a whisper. "I... I needed to hear your voice."
There's a moment of silence on the other end before Reid's gravelly voice responds, "What happened?" His tone is gruff, but there's an underlying concern that Yoonah can detect.
Yoonah swallows hard, trying to steady her voice. “I’m…I’m having a really hard time with Juwon. I…Um, I just can’t-It’s so hard to look at him and it’s killing me. I just see Jinhwa. He’s fucking everywhere, and I–I–I feel like I’m going to explode.” Yoonah's voice trembles with each word, the vulnerability in her tone palpable even through the phone. She can almost hear the furrow forming on Reid's forehead as he listens intently.
Reid's silence encourages her to continue and pour out the emotions she's held back for so long. “I thought love was supposed to make you feel safe, but lately, it feels like a cage closing in on me. Juwon... he says he loves me, but I just…I don’t know how someone could love me as much as he says he does and do that to me.”
The darkness of the bathroom seems to echo her words back at her, magnifying the weight of her confession. Yoonah clutches the phone tighter as if Reid's presence on the other end is the lifeline she desperately needs in this storm.
“Nana,” he started, his tone a mixture of caution and curiosity. You know the difference between being trapped and being held. It sounds like you're feeling more like the former right now.” There was a pause before he continued, his words deliberate and thoughtful. Yoonah nearly sobbed at his words, covering her eyes with the hand that didn’t desperately clutch her phone. “You're smarter than this. You know what you’re feeling. Don’t trap yourself.”
Yoonah whimpers, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand with a nod before taking a deep breath through her nose.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re right. I know you’re right. It’s just…” Yoonah can’t stop herself from sobbing again, covering her eyes as she leans against the counter. She can hear Reid’s sheets move around, and his feet hit the floor as she swallows the saliva in her mouth, trying to get herself together. “It’s just hard. I love him so much, but…I don’t feel warm anymore.”
“Feel warm?” Reid questions, confused. Yoonah laughs at his clear confusion at her word choice, swallowing again with a nod.
“Yeah, like, when you love someone you feel all warm inside,” Yoonah explains to him, putting a hand over her heart. “It’s like getting butterflies but all the time.”
“That sounds awful.” Reid’s deadpanned response makes Yoonah chuckle, making Her smile for the first time that night. She hears a door open on his side of the line, and her brows knit together.
“Are you going somewhere?”
“Yeah,” Reid replies gruffly as a door shuts and keys jingle. Yoonah looks around with just her eyes in slight confusion. “I’m on my way.”
“On your way were?”
“To see you.”
“Huh?” Yoonah blurts a bit too loudly, leaning forward in sudden confusion. Reid airly laughs at her outburst.
“You called me crying, and you expected me to not come check on you? Come on, Nana. You should know me better than that.”
Yoonah lets a silence fall between them as she processes what Reid said to her. She can’t stop a smile from forming on her lips, looking around as an airy laugh leaves her throat.
“You know Juwon is home, right?”
“Yeah,” Reid shrugs, “And? We can go somewhere he isn’t. He’s not my concern.”
Yoonah feels her chest get hot when she realizes she’s his concern. It was the middle of the night, and he didn’t even question getting in his car and driving over to comfort her. She can’t place the feeling, but she knows she likes it.
One might say she adores it.
Reid’s car is small.
It has black leather seats that stick to Yoonah’s thighs and a radio that looks like it’s from 2015, but Yoonah doesn’t say anything. She thinks it adds to Reid’s allure and fits his character, but she doesn’t say anything again. She just gets in the car and lets him take her to a Dairy Queen, where he orders her an Oreo Blizzard. Her favorite.
They don’t say anything for a while. They just sit in the parking lot and eat their ice cream as a static rendition of a popular indie song plays over Reid’s radio.
“You wanna talk about that nightmare you had?” Reid asks between bites of his Reeces blizzard, shoveling it down like a child about to get caught for eating past his bedtime. Yoonah hums around her red plastic spoon, looking out her window with a sigh before shrugging her shoulders.
“It’s nothing new,” Yoonah tells him with another shrug, taking another bite of her ice cream. Reid grunts in response, taking another bite of his ice cream.
“Who cares? Let it out. That’s why we’re here.” He uses her spoon to tell her to go on, twirling it in the air before it dips back into his cup. Yoonah can’t argue with that, clearing her throat as she sits up straighter and sighs.
Talking about Jinhwa has always been hard for Yoonah. She never gets the response she wants from people. She wants them to tell her it wasn’t that bad, that he wasn’t that bad, that one day they could work it out and get back together, but they never do. It’s always “Poor Yoonah.” or “I’m so sorry, Yoonah.” never anything she wants to hear. A part of Yoonah longs for Jinhwa, but another part of her loathes him. She fears she only does so because she’s told to. Would she have ever hated Jinhwa if Bliss hadn’t stepped in and gotten Iseul involved? She hates that question because she doesn’t know how to answer it.
“It’s not a big deal,” Yoonah starts, leaning in the crook of the door and his seat. Reid gives her an unenthused look because he doesn’t believe her. She continues. “When I was hooked on drugs, he really didn’t like that. ‘Said it made me trashy, and he wasn’t wrong but, yeah, he didn’t like it. One night, I was at his house––I lived there, basically––and it was after dinner I just got so…” She lifts a hand next to her head, shaking it slightly as she twitches a bit, trying to give a physical representation of how she was feeling back then.
Reid nods with a hum, taking a bite of his ice cream. Yoonah likes that he understands so easily.
“Anxious, I guess? I don’t know. I did a line in his bathroom, and he could tell I was high. It pissed him off, so he threw me in his room and locked me in there.” Yoonah looks up at the car's roof, scratching behind her ear with a swallow. She can still feel the way the walls closed in on her, how raw her throat felt because of her crying. Her hand gets random aches, and she swears it's from how hard she was banging on that door, trying, begging, pleading to get out.
“How long?” Reid wonders after a beat of silence.
Yoonah mindlessly stirs around her ice cream, lips quirking to the side.
“Five days.” She runs her tongue against the underside of her teeth. Reid whistles lowly, brows raised in slight shock. “He was trying to detox me. ‘Didn’t work ‘cus I tired to fucking kill myself with his razor on night five but-” She shrugs like nothing, shoving her spoonful of ice cream in her mouth to shut herself up. She’s talked for too long, or at least she feels she has.
Reid's silence doesn’t feel like their usual one. It makes her sigh through her nose, lifting her eyes to look at him, only to find him staring at her with an unreadable stare. Yoonah tilts her head at him, blinking a few times. Reid shakes his head.
“Don’t do that,” Reid tells her. Yoonah shakes her head this time, looking away from him with a small huff. Reid laughs softly through his nose. She can hear his spoon scraping against the bottom of his cup.
“I’m not telling you that wasn’t awful. He shouldn’t have done that to you.”
“No shit,” Yoonah dryly replies, biting the inside of her cheek. “I shouldn’t have-”
“Yoonah,” Reid interjects as he raises a hand to both verbally and physically stop her, “Nothing you did would excuse him locking you in a room for five days. Nothing. You know it, too. You’re not stupid.”
Reid has always been blunt. It was one of the things Yoonah liked about him but now she feels like his words are cutting through her like knives. They’re not what she wants to hear. She wants to be overreacting. She wants to be dramatic. She wants to be dismissed. Yoonah swallows the lump in her throat, rubbing her nose with a sniff.
“He never hit me.” Yoonah throws that out there without even thinking. It doesn’t fit into the conversation, so she doesn’t know why she says it, but she does anyway. Reid doesn’t say anything; just turns his head towards her to listen. He rubs his lips together when he looks at her, watching her push her hair behind her ears as she places her half-finished cup of ice cream in his cupholder, silently offering it to him. He doesn’t take it; he just glances at it before returning his attention to her.
“He didn’t groom me either. That word is so fucking stupid. I wasn’t a kid when we met, but everyone acted like I was a toddler. No, I was eighteen. I was old enough to make decisions for myself, and that’s what I did. I made the decision to date Jinhwa because I love him, and he loves me, and that’s how it was supposed to be; then everything got fucked up because I couldn’t handle a fucking detox. I just fucking ruined it, and now-now look at me,” Yoonah shoots off, gaining speed with each word until it sounds like one big jumbled and shaky mess. Tears brim her eyes, and her lips form a wobbly line as she looks down at her hands, picking at her cuticles to calm herself down. It only stings with every pluck, making her brows knit together with a shake of her head.
“I have an apartment and a dog with a guy I can’t fucking look at because-because he’s a hypocrite and an idiot. He’s so fucking stupid he signed with Jinhwa despite telling me so many times I’m the victim! He thinks I’m a victim, and he signs a contract to work with the guy he thinks abused me? What the fuck is that? I can’t stand him. I fucking hate him. I hate looking at him, I hate talking to him, I hate it so much, and there’s nothing I can do because all I had was Jinhwa. He was all I had, and now I have nothing but Juwon––Oh my god, all I have is Juwon.” When she finally takes a breath, she sobs, covering her face with her palms. Before she can really start crying, Yoonah groans out of what has to be frustration, stopping any tears with violent wipes of her eyes. Still, Reid silently takes her hand into his, squeezing tightly.
Just as silent, he lifts her hand to his lips, pressing them to the top of the pale skin. Yoonah sniffles, looking at him in slight confusion, but there’s a fondness in her eyes that she can’t hide even if she wants to. She forces a tight smile, squeezing his hand, waiting for him to say something but he just brings her hand to his chest so she can feel his heart beating. It’s fast but even. It tells Yoonah all she needs to know.
A tight laugh leaves her lips, sniffling.
“I got you?” Yoonah asks softly, just to make sure. Reid, for once, smiles. He nods.
“You got me.”
#╰ * venus : scenarios ⧽ burn it to the ground .#ficnetfairy#fictional idol group#fictional idol community#kpop fanfic#idol oc#kpop oc#fake kpop oc#kpop au#idol au#kpop addition#idolverse#oc girl group#bts addition#fake kpop girl group#fake kpop idol#oc kpop group#stray kids addition
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Ambers 150 Celly Playlist
Hello and Welcome to the 150 follower celebration.
I want to thank you all for the love that this account has been receiving since it’s creation, so keep reading to learn about how you can be apart of the celly!
Below you will find 20 of my favourite songs for when I write.
As all have now been allocated a player, happy reading!
Taylor Swift
The Way I Loved You - [Matthew Tkachuk] you and Matthew have been in a situationship for far too long and when he gets injured things come out of his mouth that he so badly regrets.
I Can See You - [Trevor Zegras] you and Trevor have been in a FWB relationship for over a year, but what happens when he gets jealous during your families yearly trip to the lake house?
Electric Touch - [Mat Barzal] a fight between you and Mat causes confessions to be made.
Paper Rings - [Nico Hischier] it’s your one year anniversary when you and Nico are all nervous but for totally different reasons.
Betty - [Nico Hischier] you take a chance staying in town when Nico comes back and things take an interesting turn when your ex shows up at your door for your birthday.
Lover - [Ethan Edwards] after a stressful day Ethan has the perfect way of coming to the rescue and giving you a moment to relax.
The Story of Us - [Ethan Edwards] when Ethan learns about your intentions of transferring to a different college, the conversation takes a turn for the worst.
August - [Quinn Hughes] you and Quinn get a chance to see that your usual summer fling works all year round.
The Last Great American Dynasty - [Andrei Svechnikov] when less that fortunate circumstances cause you to live with your older brother, you realise it might not be as bad as you once thought once you meet his teammate Andrei.
Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince - [Jack Hughes] 5 times Jack and your paths ran parallel to each other and the one time they finally became perpendicular.
Ed Sheeran
Dive - [Trevor Zegras] Trevor made one of the biggest decisions in your relationship today, so it’s only right that a look back in time at some of the highlights in your relationship happened.
Kiss Me - [Luke Hughes] when Alex and Trevor decide to voice their feelings about you it causing Luke to reevaluate his own.
Tate McRae
Uh Oh - [Nico Hischier] you go to a bar where you think it’s a coincidence that you run into Nico, little do you know that he planned it all.
Don’t Come Back - [Nico Hischier] the downfall of your relationship with Nico is both thick and fast, especially when neither one of you try to stop it.
Morgan Wallen
Thinkin' Bout Me - [Trevor Zegras] your fling with Trevor ended months ago, now that you’ve got a boyfriend you can’t help but miss the Ducks star.
Cowgirls - [Ethan Edwards] as the bombshell of Umich, you set your sights on Ethan and don’t give up, not without a fight.
Lewis Capaldi
Burning - [Mat Barzal] you and Mat had been at opposing ends for weeks and with no clear truce in sight is it time for you two to call it quits?
Leah Kate
Fuck Up the Friendship - [Kirby Dach] you and Kirby are at the same party but this time there are feelings involved.
Shawn Mendes
When You’re Ready - [Jack Hughes] Jack has finally prepared for the big day, he’s going to propose to you.
Nervous - [Gabe Perreault] four times Gabe realised that he was in love with you and the one time he did something about it.
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the love was there. it didn't change anything. it didn't save anyone.
manon, ballerina, antoine de saint-exupéry / twin size mattress, the front bottoms / overpass graffiti, ed sheeran / the calendar, panic! at the disco / waiting for this story to end before i begin another, jan heller lev / olivia de recat (x) / @ojibwa (x) / as it was, harry styles [music video (2022) dir. tanu muino] / kate mcgahan / sign of the times, harry styles / the life aquatic with steve zissou (2004) dir. wes anderson / fourth of july, fall out boy / the 1, taylor swift / i'm thinking of ending things, jain reid / keep driving, harry styles / rien ne va plus, margarita karapanou / caption: @jediheretic (x)
#juno's webs#web weaving#love#tragedy#endings#loss#YOU ARE MY FAVORITE WHAT IF YOU ARE MY BEST I'LL NEVER KNOW#this was always going to end. we couldn't love each other enough to change that.#antoine de saint exupéry#the front bottoms#ed sheeran#panic! at the disco#p!atd#jan heller lev#harry styles#wes anderson#the life aquatic with steve zissou#fall out boy#taylor swift#jain reid#margarita karapanou#on: love#on: grief#webs
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Ofmd s2 thoughts that only matter to me:
The mermaid scene was one of my favorites. If there was a "The Chain" scene in this season, to me this was it. The music choice was beautiful, appropriate, and memorable. The line of "I know you have a little life in you yet, I know you have a lot of strength left" in Kate Bush's "This Woman's Work" fit the moment really well. Ed has things he needs to live for and accomplish, not the least of which is his love for Stede and growing past their miscommunication and shared self esteem issues.
However, it's sad to see that moment exist in the same season that has Izzy Hands saying "I want to go" and then dying from a wound that, for all intents and purposes for the rest of the show and characters, is 100% survivable. Izzy ALSO had just made a lot of self discovery, and his you don't even really get to see. He ALSO had a lot of things to accomplish still in his arc and growth. He ALSO "had a little life in [him] yet", and his capability to go on without living under Blackbeard would have been essential to the progress for BOTH characters.
The strength of "The Chain" as a moment and as a song choice stands out in the series because the song ties in thematically. "If you don't love me now, you will never love me again" . Ed comes back to Stede to find that he's thrilled to receive him. Stede does love him then, even if Ed feels like he just showed him some of his worst tendencies. This sets the stage for the telling of their love story, and why it makes sense that Ed is absolutely gutted at the perceived reversal of this acceptance when Stede leaves. Additionally, it could be argued that the same line works for Ed/Izzy, as Izzy's betrayal indicates that their relationship, if it ever existed even in a fucked up way, is really over. Izzy DIDN'T love him then, and never will again, at least not in the same way. Their relationship is irrevocably damaged, even if circumstances cause it to continue.
So to have "I know you have a little life in you yet, I know you have a lot of strength left" disregarded thematically is a poor choice for a show that was able to effectively utilize symbolism, music choices, and very selective dialogue and framing to tell a powerful story in a short runtime in s1. It actually could have been a strong moment in a season that ostensibly is about transformation/transmogrification if Izzy had ALSO been able to live, grow, and change. The fact that Stede is transformed into a mermaid during this scene only enhances that theme for the season, as does Buttons' transformation into a bird. Izzy was already on his way with the unicorn leg, his relationship with Blackbeard/Ed needed to change, too, just as much as Ed's internal struggle with Blackbeard (which by the end was also weak, but that's another post).
Perhaps the transmogrified Buttons landing on Izzy's grave is meant to indicate that his transformation is over and complete, but this is contradictory to the reliance on lyrics and music as a means to support the storytelling that occurred in s1 so would be weaker overall. "I know you have a little life in you yet" is contradictory to an arc that completed growth with death.
Basically, the elements to the same strong storytelling that existed in s1 were there, just not utilized effectively, which is disappointing to see.
#ofmd critical#izzy hands#ofmd season 2#ofmd spoilers#pirate brainrot#I will get over this eventually maybe#ofmd#our flag means death
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