#becuzpurple
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Chapter 25, pt. 4 - Promise
Hello! I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted anything new here. I promise I’ve been working on things whenever I could, but finding time and motivation has been challenging.
I’m posting a little piece here that continues from where Ed & Kate last left off. Here is a link to that last piece, in case you need to jog your memory a bit (click here).
I’m really curious to know what you think of where their story seems to be heading. Personally, I think what they’re planning is a terrible idea...yet i WANT it to happen! Lol. Tell me your thoughts!
You know that feedback is everything - please click ‘like’, reblog, and send me comments or questions. It’s really reassuring to see that my work is at the very least being read, and hopefully some people out there like it, too.
So, without further ado...
Chapter 25, pt. 4 - Promise
“Mmm, so good.” He had both elbows on the table, resting his chin on his closed fists. He looked sleepy and satisfied.
“Thanks.”
We were sat at the recently cleared kitchen table, ignoring the pile of dirty dishes in the sink. Nate and Lucy had been excused from their nightly dishwashing duty because they both had to finish their Science Fair projects due the next day, leaving Ed and me alone in the kitchen. The aroma of chili con carne still lingered.
“I never had chili with meat growing up - we were a veggie house.”
“What was that like?”
“It was fine,” he shrugged. “I didn’t know any different until I was...like, 10. My first taste of bacon made me a carnivore on the spot.”
“I don’t know if I could go veggie.”
“Ya love meat too much.”
“You know it.” I nodded my head, completely failing to keep a deadpan expression.
He grinned unapologetically. “Hey, sweet girl.”
Since our blow-up and Big Talk the previous week we’d been a little extra-attentive toward each other - a bit gentler and more accommodating than usual. Something had certainly shifted since for us. It was a good thing - exciting and wonderful, but it was also big and new, and with that came some uncertainty. So, we spent a lot of time together, quietly strengthening anything that might still have needed a little bit of healing.
“So…” He was a little antsy - his knee bouncing under the table. “I’ve been thinking.”
“What is it, hon?”
“You...you’re taking birth control now, yeah?”
“What?” I glanced out into the hallway where I could just barely see the bottom of the stairs leading up to the kids’ rooms.
His eyes briefly followed mine before he quietly went on. “You take the pill, right?”
“...yeah?” I stared at him as he grinned at my puzzled expression.
“I’ve been thinking...that maybe you should stop.”
Uhhh…?
He grinned at my wide-eyed reaction, but he was still rapid-bouncing his knee under the table, so he was maybe a little nervous, too.
“Because...?”
“Well, you know, to start...makin’ babies…?”
When I finally picked my jaw up off the floor and found my voice, all I could think of to say was, “...now?”
“Well, not this moment-now, but, I mean…” he shrugged, smirking, still bouncing that knee.
I gave him an eye roll and a nervous grin of my own. “Jesus, Ed.”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said the other night - how you’ve had some trouble...with this, and I wonder if it makes sense to not wait. Or, at least to not purposely prevent it.”
He’s been thinking about this…
“You’re serious.”
He nodded, seeming sure of his words, if not of my reception of them. But then, he’d apparently been thinking it over for nearly a week.
“Um, wow, I...so many things going through my head right now.”
He didn’t say anything, but just focusing on his beautiful, tranquil blues calmed me.
“You’re sure?”
He nodded, no hesitation.
“We’re not...married…?”
He nodded again. “I don’t know what you’ll think of this - it’s just an idea, but…I reckon we don’t need to rush that. We could...keep on as we are for now, but stop trying to prevent...anything.” He exhaled loudly before rushing on. “And I know that’s like, huge, and that’s why I thought maybe we just focus on...one life-changing event at a time. Shit, I’m really going on. Am I making any sense?”
“So, you don’t want to get married? Or…?” Why am I fixating on the ‘married’ part of this? Focus on the ‘baby’ part. Holy shit...
“No, no, that’s not what I’m saying. I...auggh.” He nervously ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry, I’m doing a shit job of this.” He took a breath and shook his head self-deprecatingly.
“First of all, when I said all that before...about wanting to be a family...complete shit of me to do it like that, during an argument. It...it wasn’t a lie - I meant it, but it was a dick move, and I’m sorry.”
“Wait, no, it’s...it’s OK. You were reacting to me - I was being ridiculous. You were being honest and were focusing on us staying together.”
He took a measured breath as he studied my face. I’m not sure what he was looking for, but he seemed to be satisfied with what he saw, because he relaxed, then. “OK, but my apology stands.” He covered my hand with his and gave a little squeeze. “And second, just to be crystal clear…” His words became quieter. “I absolutely want to marry you one day.”
Over that last week I’d definitely replayed everything that had been said during our fight and subsequent heart-to-heart - more than a few times, including the part about him wanting us to be a family. It had seemed too soon to bring that up again, though, and I definitely didn’t expect to be making any decisions about it so soon. Yet, there we were talking about babies and marriage.
And, god help me, but I wanted all of it.
He watched me as I stood and covered the few steps to him at the other side of the table and pulled him up out of his chair. “Come ‘ere.”
He stood, and I couldn’t help grinning as I nodded and finally answered him with a soft “Yeah.”
“To...umm, to which part?”
His ears and cheeks were slightly pinker than usual and his eyes sparkled bright and his whole body seemed like it was about to burst from nervous tension. I stepped close, our bodies coming together as we wrapped our arms around each other - instinctively seeking and providing comfort and assurance.
“All of it.”
“Holy shit?”
Still nodding, I brought my hands behind his head, carding through the ginger curls, directing his lips down to mine. In between kisses and grins he murmured, “This went much better than the last time I brought it up.”
I kissed him once more before answering. “Well, I’m not having a panic attack this time. And also your delivery…I mean, it’s improved a little bit since last week.” I bit my lip, suppressing a giggle.
“Fair enough, but practice makes perfect, yeah? Next time I’ll have it down.”
“Next ti - ? ...Oh.”
He kissed me again, a bit more purposefully, and then murmured, “It’ll happen, and properly.”
“You know I’m holding you to that.”
“Promise, sweet girl.”
Our lips met again, giving physical credence to everything just spoken. Our bodies were melded together, mouths opening, inviting more intimate contact.
“Ewwww, ohmygod!”
We each took a hasty step away at the unexpected intrusion. I may have stifled a nervous giggle as I tried to covertly wipe my mouth while attempting to still appear completely together. Ed didn’t even try to hide his smirk.
“Heyyy Lu. What...what’s up?” My voice was unusually high-pitched.
My daughter was clearly horrified as she darted past us to the fridge, making sure the opened door blocked her line of sight to us. Her voice came out muffled and terse. “Nothing!”
Awkward silence filled the air as she rummaged. I suspect she was debating whether it would be better to keep her head in there forever, or to make a quick exit. Apparently deciding to get the heck out of Dodge, she grabbed a bottle of water and hastily retreated. Glancing toward us on her way out, she paused when she saw that we hadn’t really budged from our spots, and arms still draped around each other.
“You’re just gonna...keep doing that?”
“Probably, yeah,” Ed grinned. I might have accidentally snort-laughed. Whoops.
“Ohmygod...” Lucy groaned as she hightailed it back to her room. We stared after her for a few seconds before returning our gazes to each other, giggles finally spilling over.
“Welp. I guess she knows we kiss, now.” Ed’s voice squeaked with laughter as we came together again, just as Lucy suspected we would.
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All right folks, there ya have it. What do ya think? Terrible idea? Yay, love? A little of both? Please show some love with likes, reblogs, questions and comments, because feedback is everything!
#becausepurple#becuzpurple#ed sheeran#ed sheeran fanfiction#ed sheeran fanfic#ed sheeran fic#Ed & Kate#Ed & Kate love story#sorry still no Sexy Times yet
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SO.
Let's talk about how hard fanfic writers work to write their pieces. Smutty, funny, fluffy, angsty, doesn't matter what fandom or celebrity or universe or whatever, it's our time and creativity and sweat and fantasies. And we are damn PROUD when he hit post. And then.....
PLAGIARISM
Say it with me, folks. NOT okay. Not only did one of my stories pop up on Wattpad today, but the person linked to their Instagram Ed account, where she proceeded to claim that SHE wrote my story. She also posted to her IG stories a lovely clip of MY story on her laptop with the caption "Finished! X" I saved it and am SO posting it here. She is Teddysfans.x on Wattpad AND Instagram, and she's been reported. She's said she's put credit on them now, but holy...Darlin'...SO BESIDE THE POINT.
I am ranting because I KNOW how much heart and soul goes into writing, and I've seen some of the best writers I've seen here on Tumblr, have their work ripped off, and it is NOT okay. @permanentcross and @stylesunchained are both INCREDIBLE writers of the Harry Styles variety, I LOVE their writing, and I know they've had MASSIVE problems with plagiarism to the point where they had to stop posting for awhile. @becuzpurple has come across her one shots reposted with NO permission and NO credits. I'm sure others have too. It's INFURIATING.
Guys. This is not hard. If it is not yours? DO NOT TAKE IT. Ask permission to share?! Show some respect to the people who work so hard to share their goodies with you. It's unREAL to watch someone pass off something you've worked so hard on, and are so proud of, as THEIR work. NO.
/End Rant 🙄
#Ugh#Sorry had to say it#Lying liar that LIES#Fanfiction#Fanfic#Fic#Rant#Original writing#Celebrity fanfic#plagiarism#Theft#Give credits#Ask permission#Makes us not want to share#Writing#my writing#creativity
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Last Line Tag
Tagged by @angryteapot ! So I honestly thought about putting the literal last thing I wrote which was an answer to a quiz for Earth Evolution but i figured that’s probably not what you guys wanted ;P
Rules: Post the last line you wrote of anything and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence.
"I swear to Jesus, Thor, Loki and Hela herself if you say ‘I don't think you should hear this’ I will shove your own shield up your righteous ass Steve Rogers!" Y/N snarled.
also I don’t even know 33 people so I’ll just tag who I can think of sorry if youve been tagged already:
@becuzpurple @naughty-teddy-innit @sippin-on-red-wine @i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend @tea-and-toblerones @fingersnthumbsbaby @tilltheendwilliwrite and i am super sorry if i forgot anyone obvious I am in class right now XD
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Hey!!!!!!! Recommend some smutty ed fic??
Hey Anon! I'm assuming you've read all mine? In no particular order, check these out: @no5collabsproject, @fingersnthumbsbaby, @tea-and-toblerones, @becuzpurple, @naughty-teddy-innit, @sfsheerio, @missgeek83, @howtotrainyourginger, @edsverybadthings, @laylascoldcoffee, @whydontijustleavethisrighthere, @sheerioasteroidpanda, @teddysheeranfics..... Have I forgotten anyone??
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Hi do you know any other good Ed writing blogs? It seems like there are so few. :(
Oho *adjusts glasses and whips out a notepad*First you've got @becuzpurple which was the very first fic I found here on tumblr. It's an utterly amazing love story between Ed and Kate, an older woman. There's nothing else like it on here and I'll tell everyone who asks to do themselves a favor and read it. It's sweet, it's funny, it's hot and sexy. Seriously. It's got everything you could need in a fic. Second you've got the Queen of Hot and Sexy fics that stay with you @naughty-teddy-innit . She had plenty of hot one shots that are seriously mind blowing. Plus she just started writing a fic called Rehab that promised to be an emotional Rollercoaster and I can't wait for more! Third you've got the amazingly talented @sippin-on-red-wine. You want some good old fashion down and dirty smut? She's the one to read. Plus High Tide is amazing as well. Seriously. This girl? All hail the Smut Fairy. Fourth you've got the wonderful story that @fingersnthumbsbaby is writing with Ed and Spence. If you haven't read that one, again, favor, go. Fifth @whydontijustleavethisrighthere. I stumbled across a one shot and I was hooked. Now you can be hooked too. Sixth @tracklist-fic. I have it on good authority that it's being worked on (it's me. This is a collab between me and @sippin-on-red-wine , we're working on it, I swear) it's about Jac an up and coming music producer who's first big client is Ed Sheeran, which would be a dream if she didn't have a one might stand with him. Whoops. Seventh @edsverybadthings. What can I say. Her smut is top shelf smut. Eighth @missgeek83 new on the Ed front, but her writing is hot hot hot. Seriously, I get weirdly turned in now everytime I try to paint now and it's not okay. Ninth @sfsheerio another new to the Ed front and again hoooooot. Made me feel things. Tenth @sheeriouslysheerio got some adorable warm fuzzy one shots. So you want some feel good feels, hers is the one to go to. Cute, sweet, innocent and well written. Definite go to palette cleanser if you splashed around in the smut puddle for far too long. There you have it, my top ten. Honorable mentions @sheerioasteroidpanda @marisheeran-imagines because they deserve love too. (ps @no5collabsproject is going to be a giant fic collaboration warehouse if life would stop getting in the way and let us do our thing)
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Funniest blog:
@eds-castle
@edsheerans-iguanabeanybaby
@drinking-sangrias
Favorite blog:
@edsmysterygirl
@herstrangethings
@justaboywithaonemanshow
@eds-castle
@littlebitofbass
@daisies--daisies
@drinking-sangrias
@sippin-on-red-wine
@edsheerans-iguanabeanybaby
@whydontijustleavethisrighthere
@fingersnthumbsbaby
@tea-and-toblerones
@sheerioswifties
Best update blog:
@edsheeran-eu
@littlebitofbass
@edsheeranbr
Best theme:
@edsheeran-eu
@tea-and-toblerones
@daisies--daisies
@drinking-sangrias
Best New Blog:
@sippin-on-red-wine
@justaboywithaonemanshow
@fingersnthumbsbaby
@edsmysterygirl
@herstrangethings
@sfsheerio
@sheerioswifties
@sheerious-sheerio
Best fanfics:
@naughty-teddy-innit
@sheerioasteroidpanda
@fingersnthumbsbaby
@edsverybadthings
@becuzpurple
@sippin-on-red-wine
@tracklist-fic
@whydontijustleavethisrighthere
@tea-and-toblerones
Best icon:
@galway-girl
@drinking-sangrias
@sippin-on-red-wine
Best URL:
@drinking-sangrias
@sippin-on-red-wine
@uhohsheerios
@whydontijustleavethisrighthere
@truththroughthevocalbooth
@daisies--daisies
@moosheeran
@fingersnthumbsbaby
@sheerioasteroidpanda
@ehteam
@edsheerans-iguanabeanybaby
@justaboywithaonemanshow
Best edits/fanart:
@edsheerans-iguanabeanybaby
@tea-and-toblerones
@littlebitofbass
Most positive blog:
@daisies–daisies
@naughty-teddy-innit
@@marisheeran-imagines
@edsmysterygirl
@sheerioasteroidpanda
@sheerious-sheerio
@exceptimnotcheesy
@whydontileavethisrighthere
@galway-girl
@eds-castle
@sheerioswifties
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Ask
Dear, Ed Sheeran’s Smut Train @naughty-teddy-innit @whydontijustleavethisrighthere @ehteam @herstrangethings @daisies–daisies @edsheeran-eu @edsverybadthings @drinking-sangrias @becuzpurple and any other darling passengers I have forgotten Here’s my question. Who do you treat with more respect your cashier or your children’s teacher? And for anyone who dosn’t have school age chidren or any children, who do you treat with more respect your pharmacist and/or dental hygienist or your cashier?
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Chapter 25, pt. 3 - My Everything
Turns out that even though Tumblr ate my queued draft, it still posted at the right time - yay!
Also...trigger warning for brief mention of multiple pregnancy losses.
I hope you all enjoy!
(previously... ch. 25, pt. 2 - Bailey’s & Ice Cream)
It was nearly 11pm when I heard his soft knock at the front door. I took a breath to steady my nerves, then hurried over to let him in. Once the door was open and I saw him nothing else mattered, and we were at once in each other’s arms.
“I’m so sorry, Ed, I- .”
“ -shhhh. It’s ok.”
“No, I was awful...the things I said, and then I just left...?”
“It’s OK, you were upset and needed some time.”
I shook my head. How could he be so kind after what I did?
We stepped apart but I didn’t let his hand go, needing his touch as reassurance. He somehow knew and gave a squeeze as we moved into the living room.
“The kids are at my parents’ for the night.”
“Ok.”
We sat on the sofa, turned toward each other. He had a leg tucked under the other, as he often does. I kept a toss pillow on my lap, on which our hands were still clasped.
“I’ve made a mess of everything. Ed, I’m so sorry.”
“No, no, I should’ve...I told you I’d be there for you when things get rough, but I didn’t do that, and I’m sorry.”
“I blindsided you,” I shook my head. “You have every right to be upset.”
“I didn’t come through for you, love. I won’t let that happen again, I promise.”
How do I even deserve him?
“You’re really too good to me.”
“Nooo,” he murmured, squeezing my hand. We shared a look before coming even closer together. I needed to touch him, to feel him - a physical sign of reassurance, I suppose, and it appeared that he did, too. I laid my head on his shoulder while he rested his free hand on my knee. We sat together like that, tentative and hopeful, until Ed finally broke the ice.
“Hey,” he murmured, his voice soft and soothingly low. “I…can I ask you something?” We both were hesitant to disturb our fragile peace, but things needed to be said.
I lifted my head and met his eyes, nodding.
“Do I...does being with me bring more stress to your life? Because that’s the last thing I wan -”
“ - no! You...you’ve brought happiness back to me. I feel loved, and I’m in love, and it’s...it’s so good. Ed, I’m really, really happy with you.”
He was quiet for a few seconds, studying me, so many questions evident in his eyes.
“That’s good...I feel that way, too. But, you’re so unhappy tonight, and I don’t understand why.”
“It’s...it’s all me. I think, well, remember when I told you about...my anxiety?”
“Yeah. I was wondering if that was it.”
I nodded. “It was...pretty bad today. When it gets like this I tend to hyper-focus on...something until it’s huge in my mind - like, way out of proportion. I don’t even realize it’s happening until it’s seriously out of control - like tonight. And then I panic and just...want to disappear, or want everything else to disappear, so that feeling will go away. I think that’s why I was like that, like telling you you’d be better off with someone else, and when I just...left. I was trying to make everything just go away. God, I’m so sorry, Ed.”
I covered my face with my hands, completely appalled at myself.
“I’m trying to understand...? You wanted me to go away? Like, how? Like breaking up? Is that why you said I should be with someone else?”
“I - I don’t really want that, I swear. I was panicking and saying anything to try and make that feeling - that fear - go away. It was my stupid brain being a bitch and I didn’t mean any of it. Please believe me.”
“I do, I believe you. I know you, and I...whatever that was, I knew it couldn’t be right. I promise I believe you.”
“OK,” I nodded. I felt like such a piece of shit.
But, love, what has you so upset?”
I took a breath while trying to sort out my thoughts. Ed remained the picture of patience with me.
“You...you’ve become very important to me. You’re my everything.”
He gave a hint of a smile, then, and very slightly nodded and squeezed my hand, still in his, showing me he knew exactly what I was feeling.
“I never thought I’d feel like this again.”
“But, you’re worrying about something.”
“I’m probably being irrational or paranoid or something, I don’t know. But, since Jason died...I’m really, really freaked out about losing anyone else who’s important to me...including you, now.”
“You’re not going to lose me, Kate.”
“But how do you know? Anything can happen, right? We could break up, or what if something...bad happens to one of us?”
He held my face in his hands, fingers splayed out and thumbs tenderly brushing my cheeks. “Sweetheart, you’ve been through something really horrible, and I can’t imagine how hard that must have been...and still is. I get why you have this fear, now. You’ve seen first-hand how tragedy is so...random.”
I nodded, glad he seemed to get it, but also pretty sure I was about to hear a counterargument.
He affectionately combed his fingers back though my hair a few times, and then rested his forearms over my shoulders so that we were face-to-face, quite close. “I don’t mean for this to come across as insensitive at all, but...we’re all gonna go someday. And knowing that, wouldn’t you rather live your best life than hold back?”
“What do you mean?”
“OK. Umm, do you ever regret marrying Jason?”
What? “No.”
“Of course not. The fact that he’s gone now doesn’t make you wish you’d never married him, right? You had a good life together...a beautiful family. And in the same vein, worrying about losing...me, or anyone you have a relationship with shouldn’t stop you from keeping that relationship. That would lead to a lot of hurt and regret, I think.”
He was right, and I knew that, logically. But a part of me was trying to protect myself from reliving the pain of the worst loss I’d ever experienced. I didn’t think I could endure something like that again, and I was really scared that once he was aware of my pregnancy issues, then it was only a matter of time before I’d be headed that way again.
Still, he needed to know.
“You’re right, and I do know that, but part of me is...pretty terrified.”
He shook his head, obviously trying and failing to understand. “Why?”
Taking his hands again, I mustered up the nerve to tell him. “Earlier tonight you said that you want it all...with me - a family, and children, and - ”
“ - Yeah, I...I shouldn’t have dropped that on you like that, both of us being so upset. I guess I was kinda panicking, too, though, and it just - ”
“ - it’s...no, I know - I know, it’s ok, I - I get it. But you...did you mean it?”
He took a breath through his nose, not breaking eye contact with me, and gave my hands a squeeze. “Yeah.”
I was so afraid he’d change his mind after hearing me out, yet my heart still swelled, because god knows, I wanted that, too. He smiled at me then, albeit a bit nervously, and how could I not smile back?
“I...I know I did it completely the wrong fucking way, and it’s probably too soon, too, but I - ”
“ - Ed. I’ve been thinking about those things, too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. And I worried that it’s too soon, too, so I didn’t say anything. But, I probably should have, because it might have saved me from my damn anxiety-brain. But, no, instead, I just worried more, and then assumed things, and everything built up, and got worse, and...god, I feel so so stupid.”
“Kate.” He murmured, shaking his head. “Nothing about you is stupid - please stop saying that.”
“OK,” I nodded.
“Good. And this is good, though, yeah? We both want the same thing?”
“Yeah, but…”
“No, no ‘buts’...”
I took a steadying breath. “I’m sure my perspective is completely...fucked up, so I need you to tell me if it’s a real ‘but’ or not.”
He kind of half-heartedly huffed out a small, uncertain laugh. “Alright.”
I didn’t know how to start, and shook my head in frustration. “Sorry. OK, umm, yeah. So, you mentioned that one of the things you saw in our future was children...babies. Our babies.”
“Umm, yea…?” His eyebrows shot up then. I saw surprise, and then the question in his eyes.
“Ohhh, no. No honey, I’m...I’m not pregnant.”
“Ahhh, ok.” He made a small, self-conscious laugh. “When you said ‘babies’, and seemed kinda...nervous, I thought maybe…”
“I know, but...no. I’m sorry, no.” Damn. Am I sorry for inadvertently misleading him or for not being pregnant? Both? Jesus...
“What I’m trying to say - and doing a terrible job of it - is that...well, that’s something that might not be very easy for me - having more babies.”
He was quiet, his face etched with uncertainty.
“I haven’t told you any of this yet, but, I have a history of fertility...problems. We - Jason and I, we - you know, we wanted more kids. It’s weird, because I didn’t really have any trouble getting pregnant with the twins, so we assumed it would be just as easy as it was then.” I frowned, feeling that familiar heartache and frustration all over again.
“But, it wasn’t.”
“No. We tried on-and-off for...like, god, almost 6 years? I...well, I actually did get pregnant a few times, but I miscarried them pretty early on.”
“How...how many times?”
“Three.”
“Oh, god, love. I had no idea...I’m sorry.”
“Thanks...yeah. I needed a lot of help getting pregnant, but then, even when I did…” I shook my head. “We saw specialists, did all the testing…and they couldn’t find a reason for any of it. ‘Unexplained infertility’, ‘unexplained pregnancy loss’. I...well, so...I think you should know all of this before you make any big...life decisions.”
He brought his fingers to his mouth and started slowly shaking his head. “No, wait,” he murmured. “Are you...do you think I wouldn’t want to be with you because of this? Is this what...oh god, is this why you said I’d be better off with someone else?”
“I know how you feel about having a family, Ed, and now we’re...starting to see this as being a very permanent kind of relationship. What if I can’t have any more kids? I’d hate to do that to you.”
“Whoa, wait, hold on.” He shook his head adamantly. “How...that’s not doing anything to - fuck, love, you think...like I’d blame you?”
“I don’t know...I guess I’d blame me. I just know how important family is to you, and I wouldn’t ever want you to...miss out on that because of me? Or...change your mind about us down the road because of it?”
“No...how could...I’d never do that!”
“But you want kids.”
“Yeah...but I...Jesus...” He rubbed a hand through his beard, visibly disturbed. “I’m not with you for the purpose of having children. I - I love you and want us to spend our lives together, and that is not dependent upon whether we have babies or not.”
I started to reply - about to question him on how he’d feel if he never had any children, but he cut me off before I could begin.
“- wait.” He fervently waved his hands in order to stop me. “You’re only focusing on what you think I want. But, this isn’t just up to me, right? You - you get a pretty big say, considering that you’re half of us and it’s your uterus.”
Good points...
“For all I know, maybe you don’t want more kids. Maybe you feel like you’ve already been there, done that.”
“No,” I shook my head. “I don’t feel like that at all, I just don’t know if I ca-”
“- stop. Let’s not focus on the ‘maybes’ right now, OK? I want you - you’re the one. But what do you want, Kate?”
I closed my mouth then, realizing that I’d started to fall right back into listening to that unhealthy anxiety-monologue, focusing on the negative, and not on what was actually right in front of me.
“I’m sorry, I - ”
He shook his head slightly, watching me with a small smile. “Stop apologizing, you’re amazing. But tell me what you want.”
What I want. I knew, but I was still hesitant to say it without a qualifier - an excuse or a way out for him, just-in-case. Which I knew was ridiculous, since he’d already basically said he wanted the same thing. Finally, with a very nervous smile, I just said it.
“I want...you - I want us. And, if possible, I’d love to add...to us”.
There were a few beats of silence as we stared at each other, and then he let out a barely-audible breath - he’d been holding it. I’d been holding mine, too.
“Then we both want the same things.” He practically whispered it, and then we shared an OMFG-grin for a few seconds.
“This is...wow?”
“Kinda crazy, yeah?”
“Do you think it’s...is it too soon for all of this?”
“It’s kinda how we do things though, innit? Seems to work for us.”
“Yeah.”
Without warning I found myself wiping tears from my eyes.
“No, don’t cry, sweet girl.” He cupped my face in both hands again, gently brushing his thumbs across my wet cheeks. “I love you.” He pulled us together and kissed me so gently, almost reverently, on the mouth. When it ended I could see that he was pretty emotional, too.
“I love you,” I whispered back, and returned his soft kiss with one of my own.
He exhaled again, much more loudly this time, looking elated, relieved, overwhelmed, and exhausted all at the same time.
“It’s late. You probably have a lot to do before your flight tomorrow...er, today, I guess.”
“Oh! No, I forgot to tell you - I canceled it.”
“Your flight?”
“Yeah. After you left earlier I...well, I didn’t want to leave without fixing this.”
“Ohhh, hon, thank you. And I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing - this is where I belong right now.”
“OK.” I started fiddling with his hand in mine, sliding my fingers between his, lightly tracing each one with the tips of my own. “When do you go back?”
“Dunno, I didn’t reschedule it, yet. I figure we’ll work that out later.”
“But you have a lot going on at home, though…?”
“It’s fine, nothing was set in stone.” He captured my roaming fingers in both of his hands, brought them to his lips and peppered them with the sweetest, softest kisses.
With my other hand I tenderly combed through the copper curls at the back of his neck, eventually guiding those beautiful lips back to mine and whispered, “Stay tonight.”
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likes, reblogs & feedback are LOVE!
There will be a pt 4. :-)
#becausepurple#becuzpurple#ed sheeran#ed sheeran fic#ed sheeran fan fic#ed sheeran fanfic#ed sheeran mature fanfic#Ed & Kate#Ed & Kate love story#ch 25 pt 3#My Everything#they finally have the talk#pls leave feedback!
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WHATS YOUR FAVORITE EDDIE SMUT!?
HOW. DO. I. EVEN. ANSWER. THAT.There are SO many great writers and oneshots and stories.You want make you clench, make you cry, make you sweat and wanna fuck the Ginger's brains out writers? Want Smut that'll put you in your feels!?? SO. MUCH. TO. CHOOSE. FROM. @sippin-on-red-wine @becuzpurple @fingersnthumbsbaby @tea-and-toblerones @sheerioasteroidpanda @missgeek83 @laylascoldcoffee @edsverybadthings @howtotrainyourgingerAnd ME of course. 😆That oughta get you started.....Also.Cough cough RUBYSESSIONS COUGH COUGH
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Just double-checking - are you OK w/ me (well, as @becuzpurple) posting your Ask to my wall? Your url is attached to it, so I wanted to be sure. :-)
Yeah i dont mind. I thought id make it private but thought that maybe someone would see it and know they can talk to me. So its cool
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1,2,3,5,6,19,23,24, 25, 28, 29 Happy Car Ride! 😚
1- Favourite Fic You've Wrote This Year
Oh geez, that's a toughie, there's a lot of my heart and soul in each of them. But I would say either And See Roses in the Rain since that was such a sweet moment that came out of nowhere for me. I could actually see the scene in my head and it came out so easily. The other was the much talked about and lovingly hated Chapter 6- Who Will Fix Me Now. That was the first major plot point I wanted to hit. I never would have believed the impact it would have had on you guys. It blew me away.
2- Least Favourite Fic I've Written This Year
This might be a shocker to you guys, but I was really ify about the first chapter, One Shots, Two Shots. It was one of those fuck it, it's good enough I guess, I'm done spending time on you.
3- Favourite Line/Scene I've Written This Year
Oh god, that's a toughie. I've already mentioned how much I loved the dancing scene in And See Roses in the Rain. Also chapter 2 and 3. Late night talks are really special to me and I think are a cornerstone in any relationship.
5- Most Popular Fic This Year
The One Where Ed Gets Jealous has the most notes, but the amount of feedback I got off of Chapter 6 and 7 was astounding. So it really depends on the most notes/most talked about.
6-Least Popular Fic This Year
What's For Tea, Darling? That fic captured my heart, mostly because that was exactly what happened when I cooked my first fry up, except I had no Ed to save the day.
19- Any New Fics To Start the New Year
Yes. The One Where Ed is a Fairy Princess, The One Ed Is Tied Up and coming soon, the chapter of Unison that's gonna make me sob uncontrollably. Literally thinking about it causes me to tear up.
23- Fics I Wanted to Write but Didn't
I've actually written everything that's came into my brain, I've never scraped an idea completely. That being said, Unison almost took a different route but that may come after Unison ends so I don't want to spill too much.
24-Favourite Fic you've read this year
Oooh, that's hard. High Tide by @sippin-on-red-wine is PHENOMENAL. Also Rehab by @naughty-teddy-innit has me in such suspense.
25- Fic You've Read this year that I would recommend everyone to read
Oh god, there's so many. In no particular order @becuzpurple @sippin-on-red-wine @naughty-teddy-innit @fingersnthumbsbaby @whydontijustleavethisrighthere and for the feel good feels @sheeriouslysheerio they did the CUTEST Christmas one shot.
28- Longest Fic I've read this year
@becuzpurple I start it and before I know it, it's been all night and i'm left going where did the night go. No regrets. Ever.
29-Shortest Fic I've Read
Rehab by @naughty-teddy-innit. Does that count? It's a work in progress but I'm so excited for the next chapter!
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I JUST DID @becuzpurple, so here's yours too. Sorry from my main blog! Neptune, Denab, Cassiopeia, Cigar Galaxy, Asteroid.
It's fine! Thanks honey! Neptune: When’s your birthday? April 3. Deneb: Have you ever been out of your home country? Sadly no. I really want to go to Scotland and Ireland. Oh and Finland too!! Cassiopeia: Favourite book? It's a book I read when I was in maybe jr high. I don't remember the name. It's an old book. It's about a girl but she's friends with the ghost in the attic. (I really have a things for ghost ok) Cigar Galaxy: How’s your flirting skills? Hahahaha flirting skills??? I have none. Zero. Asteroid: What does your dream life look like? My dream life is having money to live comfortably, getting my parents out of debt, living in a small Planation style country home with a lot of land. Animals all over. Moo cows and horses. Being able to actually ride horses and rodeo again. Traveling the world sometime. Maybe settled down with a husband and a kid or two.
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Hello!! we have just over 24 hours until I post the winners for the sheerio awards! As of right now, we have a tie for best fanfic between @becuzpurple and @naughty-teddy-innit so pls vote!!!!
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