#BECAUSE 18 MONTHS AFTER AND UR STILL ON THIS BITCH????
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Just seen someone call Maria selfish for leaving Tommy in TLOU2 when he needed her the most and I’m like???? Did you see him in the farmhouse, that’s a man who is obsessed with revenge and she’s probably given him ample chance to get over it but 18 months later he’s still obsessing over Abby. Maria (and Dina) were both more than justified in cutting ties with Tommy/Ellie for their own sakes. If Tommy and Ellie are too far gone and won’t allow themselves to be helped, their partners are more than justified in eventually making the decision to focus on their own mental health because I can guarantee the post-Seattle Tommy was not easy to live with.
Having said that, hope both couples make up so TLOU3 can just be the remaining members of the extended Miller family all living happily.
But seriously, why is it in any form of fiction or real-life, the woman is ‘selfish’ for actually putting her own well-being above someone who doesn’t want to be helped.
Sorry, little rant but jeez people don’t give the woman a break sometimes (also just a strange character to have beef with given she’s like the only ‘good’ character and she’s got such a minor role)
me just now realizing with this ask that show maria and dina are both gonna go through the same angsty bullshit (getting left with a child by their grief-consumed partners):
also dont EVER be sorry for ranting in defense of maria in my inbox. i love it. i need it. it feeds me. it also balances out all the weird ass bitter and shady messages about maria i get from people with nothing better to do. go off
(and also ALSO. tlou3??? is that officially a thing???)
#also ur so real with counting the MONTHS#BECAUSE 18 MONTHS AFTER AND UR STILL ON THIS BITCH????#NO SIRRRR#NOT MEEEEE#yall rlly think maria just#patted tommy on the back and went ‘damn joel died. sucks.’#she very likely grieved with him and alongside him#she likely exhausted every resource and moment she could trying to help him grieve properly#imagine doing all that for someone you love and then they not only push you away#but they LEAVE#i wouldnt have even let him back in town if i were her like you have me FUCKED UP#and at that point her and joel we’re definitely friends like she loved joel too??????#like im just so sad for her#watching rutina wesley go through all that is goingn to destroy me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#asked and answered#thank you friend i love you! MARIA STANS UNITE
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— ✧ back to december
a part of flower me with love ... an hhu unit x flowers collection !
genre: smut (18+ / mdni), fluff, angst (resolved!), best friends to strangers to lovers
description: it's been four months and twenty-two days since you've last talked to mingyu, however your mother still thinks you two are friends. you don't have the heart to tell her what really happened, and now you think it's time for you to move on. (un?)fortunately for you though, mingyu seems to have other plans.
inspired by back to december by taylor swift!
tags: miscommunication, unrequited love (not fr though), big dick mingyu, sex in a car >_<, riding, fingering, pet names (angel, pretty), creampie :3
w/c: 4.3k
a/n: happy birthday @gyuswhore!!! this fic is for em but if not em and ur reading it i hope u enjoy too. this is like 2/3 plot and 1/3 smut if anyone cares
Normality is bliss.
That’s what you used to tell yourself. That’s what you used to believe.
Normality was bright mornings, crisp air, slow walking down the main street, inhaling the ambrosial scent of freshly roasted coffee beans, and slipping under the fairy lights that hang over the door. It was the warm sound of the overhead bell ringing, permeating laughter in the cafe from all customers, and daisies in a pot by the entrance.
Normality was Mingyu. His bright laugh as you approach the counter, sweet voice as he playfully asks you what drink you’d like, to which you roll your eyes and respond with, “You already know, don’t you?” It was the chuckle he would let out, the wink he flashed at you, murmuring the words, “It’s on the house” (because with Mingyu, it was always on the house), the thanks you give him before stepping back.
Normality was the latte he handed you, rough yet ginger fingers brushing over your palm as he warned you, “Careful, it’s hot,” and the giggle you let out when you stepped back and asked how his morning was going. It was Mingyu telling you nothing special happened yet. It was Mingyu suggesting that you two hang out at the field after he’s done with work. It was you grinning and agreeing in an instant, but only under the condition that he picks you up after your class.
Normality was bliss until four months and twenty-two days ago.
Now, normality hurts like a bitch.
Your mother glances at you from the corner of her vision as you rummage through the fridge. “What’re you looking for?”
“Some bread,” you murmur. “Was really craving a tomato sandwich … Damn, we’re seriously out of white bread?” you ask, giving up with a sigh as you close the door and face her.
She shrugs. “If it’s not in the fridge then I guess so. We’re low on produce too actually … I’d be surprised if you find tomatoes in there too,” she says. You purse your lip, shuffling through the different rows of cabinets to find something to throw together to take for lunch as your mother continues to speak. “You think you could stop by the grocery store after class today and pick up some stuff?”
“Yeah sure,” you reply casually.
“Ah, I wish Mingyu still stopped by with the groceries,” your mother says, and the sudden mention of his name has you halting your movements as you reach for a croissant, before you inhale deeply and go back to doing your own thing.
“Yeah,” you say quietly, clearing your throat after the word comes out horsley.
“You know why he stopped doing that?”
You try not to think about how you still haven’t told your mother that you and Mingyu don’t talk anymore.
“Uhh, I guess uni’s been getting to be a lot of work,” you tell her. “We’re both taking way harder classes so, uh, I guess he doesn’t have the time.”
“Hmm, yeah makes sense. You’re always swamped up in that room of yours ‘cause of work too … haven’t seen you two hang out in a while actually.”
You chew on your lip, staring down at your little bag for lunch and the croissant that sits inside. You wonder if you’ll even have the appetite to eat anything today after this conversation.
“We’re just busy. It’s harder to talk now.” It’s not entirely a lie. Grabbing the bag and picking up your backpack, you turn to face your mother who’s scrolling on her phone. “I’m gonna go now. My first class is starting soon.”
Now, normality is huffing as you get into your car, wishing you had a coffee next to you, but being too full of cowardice to head over to the cafe.
(“Go to a different cafe!” is what common sense would tell you, but common sense doesn’t listen to a love that has been betrayed. No other latte tastes the same, but you know that’s only because no other latte has been made by Mingyu.)
You pick up groceries on the way home.
Now, normality is staring at the daisies that are on display as you walk through the front doors of the store and reminiscing. It’s wondering what once was, and what could have been, if you decided to keep your silly feelings to yourself.
Normality is regretting. Regretting ever opening your mouth and telling Mingyu four months and twenty-two days ago that you loved him, and that you had loved him for not one, not two, not five, but ten damn years, because that was when you two met, and you always loved Kim Mingyu, but you should have known that not once did he love you back. Not how you would’ve wanted anyways.
Normality is wondering. Wondering if Mingyu would still be dropping off groceries if you hadn’t told him that you loved him, if he hadn’t told you he didn’t know what to tell you. Wondering if he thinks of you now. Wondering if he has any regrets. Wondering if he’s okay, but you lost the chance to know the answer to that question four months and twenty-two days ago. Wondering if—
Tomatoes. You need to buy the tomatoes, and the bread, some green beans, spinach, bell pepper, and more cheese, milk, maybe some butter, and—what was it that your mother told you to get? Oh, some strawberries.
You need to get all of these things, but there were no daisies on the list, so how did a bouquet full of them end up in your cart? You tell yourself you picked them up because they’re on sale, but you know the real reason is because you miss Mingyu.
Directing your attention back to the list you were sent on your phone, you hum lowly to yourself as you push your cart through the aisles. Checking items off your notes app, you exist with just yourself, your tomatoes, and fresh daisies as you try and finish these groceries before it gets too late into the evening.
Staring at your screen, you almost don’t notice that the dairy aisle isn’t empty until you bump into someone. “Sorry,” you mutter quickly, “I—” The words get caught in your throat when you see just exactly who you’ve hit.
Averting your gaze quickly, you wonder if Mingyu will respond, but you choose to scurry away quickly instead, because as cowardly as it sounds, you’re not sure if you’re ready to hear his voice again.
You’re not sure why your heart beats so fast when you escape into another aisle. Maybe it’s because you couldn’t read the look on his face for the brief second that your eyes met.
(Ten years of being best friends and you somehow don’t know what he’s thinking. Can four months and twenty-two days really change a person that much? Or did you never know Kim Mingyu in the first place?)
When you get home, your mother asks you where you got the daisies from. You tell her Mingyu gave them to you, because you want to convince her that you two are still best friends, and maybe—just maybe—you’re trying to convince yourself of it too.
You decide to buy a latte five days later. Mingyu never worked the evening shifts, so you’re confident you’ll get one of the other’s as the barista if you walk in past 6pm. Seokmin’s always nice. He doesn’t make the latte’s as sweet as you like—more specifically, as sweet as Mingyu made them—but he’s kind and always cheery.
When you walk in today, the pot by the door is empty. There are no more daisies, and you wonder if this is what has become of normality.
Your eyes glaze over the familiar setting, breathing in the sweet, rusty smell of coffee, and you smile watching all the cafe-goers laugh along with each other in their seats. All is going well, and you’re telling yourself that maybe this new normal isn’t too bad. That you’ve lived with it for four months and twenty-seven days, and so you can live with it longer and—
Your heart plummets when you see who's working the register today.
Maybe you really never knew Kim Mingyu, because you swore he hated the evening shifts, but here he is with a neatly tied apron, smiling while he talks to some girl across the counter. And his toothy grin is so bright and you aren’t sure if you’re seeing things correctly because everything sound has turned to a white rush in your ears and your vision blurs because you are once again awarded the painful reminder that you are in love with Kim Mingyu.
You thought your heart broke right in two back in December, but you hear it crack in this moment and realize that this was the final blow.
There are tears in your eyes, and you don’t know how long you stand there, until you hear your name. Seokmin is calling for you, and when you look up there’s no girl at the counter and it’s just Mingyu and Seokmin staring at you.
And you wonder briefly if you should be glad that Mingyu looks concerned but you don’t have time to dwell on the fact because Seokmin calls for you again—“Hey, are you okay? You—you’re crying”—and fuck, you’ve just humiliated yourself, so with fat tears hitting the dark wood ground you turn on your heel and rush out the door.
You keep thinking and wondering and regretting and you hate it all because regret has become normality, but regret is not a bliss.
You walk down the street, and you keep walking and walking and walking until you realize you forgot where you parked the car but none of that matters because all you’re thinking about is Mingyu’s smile, and how he doesn’t smile at you anymore. And so you walk faster and cry a bit harder until you’re so far down the street you don’t even know where you are anymore but it doesn’t matter because you don’t know who you’ve become.
And there’s footsteps thudding behind you—are you going to get kidnapped now? Fuck, you’ve already had the most horrendous sequence of events that could possibly happen to you in the span of five minutes, and now it’s going to get worse? If this goddamn kidnapper could just target you any other day, then maybe you wouldn’t whip around with tearful eyes, shouting into the dark: “Please don’t kidnap me! I’ll go with you any other day but—Mingyu!?”
His tall figure is hunched over, hands over his thighs as he heaves for breath, craning his neck to look up at you. “Kidnap you? Why in the world would I kidnap you?” he asks through harsh breaths. “Fuck, you walk so fast,” he groans, finally standing up as you furiously wipe your tears away in an attempt to actually make sense of this situation.
“I—” You want to reply, but then it hits you that this is the first time Mingyu has spoken to you in four months and twenty-seven days, and the thought is dizzying. “I don’t know,” you tell him, because you really don’t know. You don’t know a damn thing.
Mingyu looks at you with a look that you, once again, can’t seem to read. “Sorry, I—I wanted to see if you were okay.”
“I’m fine,” you tell him, and anyone would be able to see through the lie but you’re hoping that Mingyu doesn’t pry any further. He doesn’t move, nor does he say anything. “You can, uh, go back now,” you add, rubbing the back of your neck as you stare at the ground. “I’m okay.”
“You—you were crying.”
Opening your mouth to protest, you realize you can’t refute him now. Not when it was so painfully obvious. You choose silence instead, hoping that your apprehension will be enough to drive him away, although it only seems to egg Mingyu on.
You don’t expect the words he blurts out after a few moments of thickness.
“You don’t know how much I wish I could go back to December and change things.”
“Please don’t lie to me Mingyu,” you tell him, and he can just hear from the way you say his name that you are desperately pleading with him. When you finally look up at him with glossy eyes, he wonders how in the world he let things get this far.
“I’m not lying, I—I wouldn’t lie about this.”
“What do you mean by this, Mingyu? What is this?” You cover your face and begin to sob, but not without gasping out words between heavy breaths. “Please don’t do this to me, not again.”
And when you uncover your face and look at him again, he’s got some bewildered look on his face, and you can’t tell what he’s going to say next.
“The girl,” Mingyu starts to say. “That’s my cousin. She was visiting me at work and—”
“It’s not about the girl, Mingyu!” And that’s a bit of a lie because some part of it is about the girl but it’s mainly about you and it’s mainly about Mingyu—mainly about the two of you.
He pinches the bridge of his nose and speaks. “Sorry, I—you’re right.”
Silence once more, before you calm your breaths and shake your head. “You should head back, Mingyu.”
“No I—wait, I just—I’m not lying. I regret everything I did in December.”
“Ming—”
“No, please listen to me. I regret not telling you how I actually felt, but I was so confused,” he tells you, repeating your name. “I was confused and fucking terrified because if things didn’t work out for some reason, then I would’ve lost my best friend but—but I was fucking stupid and lost you anyways. And you know, I wanted to reach out. I wanted to talk to you so bad but then like last week, when I saw you in the grocery store, and—daisies.”
“Daisies?” You furrow your brows.
“Daisies. You had a bouquet of them in your cart,” Mingyu tells you, taking a step forward. “And I know how much you love daisies. Your favorite flowers in the world. I saw them in your cart and thought to myself, fuck, I missed my chance, because I thought you had them for someone else and—”
“They weren’t,” you blurt out. “I-I even told my mom you got me them,” you add bashfully, “because she doesn’t know we stopped … yeah.”
There’s a silence that sits between you two, but you’re starting to realize that silence has become normality and you are no longer content with that.
“Mingyu, do you love me?”
He doesn’t hesitate to respond. “More than you love daisies.”
You laugh through your drying tears. You laugh so hard it makes you cry no longer because of pain but because of happiness, and you shake your head and throw your arms around him. “Kim Mingyu, that is a bold statement.”
“What can I say?” he grins. “I’m a bold man.”
“Where was that bold man for the past four months and twenty-seven days?” you snort.
Mingyu raises a brow. “You’ve been counting?” For a moment your expression falls but then he shakes his head and smiles. “Don’t worry—I’ve been too.”
You two are quick to head back, Mingyu begging Seokmin to hold the first alone for the weekend before taking the wheel of your car and driving you both to your favorite field of daisies.
“Are we going to have sex for the first time in your car?” Mingyu asks with a chuckle, climbing into the backseat from one end while you pile in from the other.
Giggling, you meet his lips for a kiss as soon as the door shuts behind him, arms winding around his thick neck to bring him close. “The way you said that insinuates there we’ll be having more sex after this,” you tell him with a smile before diving back into another tongue twisting kiss.
“Hell yeah,” Mingyu groans against your tongue as you adjust to situate yourself over his lap, hips pressing dangerously close to his. “Gonna fuck you every day if I can. If you can handle that,” he adds.
You roll your eyes, pulling back to help yourself out of the cardigan and shirt you’re wearing. “What makes you think I can’t handle it?”
He only flashes you a toothy grin and quickly glances down at his groin area before winking at you. “You’ll see.”
“Kim Mingyu, you are a little shit,” you conclude despite the way your tummy churns at his insinuation, throwing off your shirt as Mingyu helps you out of a bra.
“I’m not little, that’s for sure … fuck, you’ve got the prettiest tits in the world,” he murmurs, wrapping his arms around your torso to pull you closer so he can plant his lips on the soft flesh. His mouth is warm, tongue tracing constellations over our skin before enclosing one of your nipples with his lips.
Slowly, his tongue traces circles around the stiffened nipple, teeth grazing over it ever so gently before biting down with slight force. “Ah!” you moan out, head thrown back as your hands travel up his neck and into his hair, fisting the thick, dark locks. “‘m sensitive, ‘gyu,” you tell him, shaky-breathed as he pulls his mouth off your tits with a slip popping sound.
“Sorry,” he says with a lazy smile. “Your tits are so nice,” Mingyu murmurs, bringing a hand up to squeeze over your other breast, tweaking the nipple in one hand as your hands begin to play with the hem of his tight fit shirt. “Fuck, can’t believe we didn’t fuck earlier. You know how much time we could’ve saved?” he says, pulling away just for a moment to peel the shirt off his body, revealing his firm, thick torso.
“I wonder whose fault that is?” You roll your eyes.
Mingyu frowns in response. “Don’t remind me … angel, take off your pants. Wanna finger you.”
He doesn’t have to tell you twice, because in an instant your hands are at the waistband of your pants as heat rises to your cheeks upon hearing his words. Just the thought of Mingyu’s thick, longer fingers inside your aching cunt is enough for it to pulse around nothing as you throw your pants to the side and shove your panties to reveal your core.
“Atta girl,” he murmurs under his breath as you readjust yourself over his lap so that he can have better access between your legs. Slowly, he brings one hand up to your exposed cunt, bringing his middle finger to circle around your gaping hole. “Shit, you’re so wet, angel … so wet for me.”
“Just for you ‘gyu, just for you” you gasp out when he sinks one finger in, rough pads rubbing against your warm, gummy walls.
Now Mingyu occasionally entertains the outrageous idea that he’s well composed, but he’d be a fool to deny that, even though he can turn you to mush in the palm of his hand, you also have him wrapped around your little finger.
You only have to beg him once or twice for a second finger before he’s giving in, wanting nothing more than to spoil you until you can’t even remember what you were asking for in the first place. And naturally, when you finally tell him that you’re ready for more—ready for his cock—he can’t help but grin and comply.
“You think you’re ready?” he asks, slipping his fingers out and shoving them into your mouth so you can taste yourself.
“You think I’m not?” you mumble around his fingers. You pout a little and Mingyu chuckles, leaning in to give you a wet and sloppy kiss before lifting his hips a little.
“You’ll see angel … help me take this all off,” he tells you, and you’re quick to grab at his waistband and yank his pants and boxers down at the same time.
“What are you talking ab—oh.” The words dry on your tongue when you see his cock spring out, from underneath his boxers, the thickness slapping against Mingyu’s abdomen.
It’s fat and long and veiny in all the right places, heavy balls resting at the base of it, the reddish-pink tip smeared all over with his shiny, translucent white precum.
“Yeah,” Mingyu says with yet another chuckle, watching your face as you gaze down at his cock in awe.
“I-is it gonna fit?” you ask incredulously, eyes glancing back and forth between the smirk on Mingyu’s lips and the long length of his cock. Mingyu just shrugs and smooths his hands over your hips, your stomach, and then your neck, pulling you into a deep kiss.
Your stomach flutters, cunt growing more and more needy and wet as the seconds tick by, and the way Mingyu’s tongue flicks against yours only heightens the feeling. When he pulls away, he settles his hands over your waist and directs you right over his cock, and something in you swells with pure arousal with the next words he says.
“Don’t worry angel, I’ll make it fit. You trust me?”
“Yeah,” you breath out, steadying your position as Mingyu uses one hand to guide his heavy length so that the tip points upwards and presses right against you.
“Fuck yeah,” he hisses, and you moan as you feel him sliding against your folds in a slippery, sticky mess. “old onto me, yeah angel? If you want to stop just—”
“Say the word,” you finish for him, placing your hands on Mingyu’s bare shoulders as an attempt to steady yourself, breath hitching as his length pushes into your entrance. “Oh shit, ‘gyu!" you cry out as you begin to sink down on him.
Tears pricking at the corners of your eyes—you can’t even fathom how, even after all his prep, Mingyu still feels like he’s nearly splitting you in half.
“Fuck, pretty—you’re so fucking tight,” Mingyu grunts, helping you nearly impale yourself on his cock. “Fucking fitting inside you so well,” he praises as he bottoms out inside of you, letting your forehead fall to his shoulder as you take deep breath.
Mingyu knows he’s big—knows it’s hard to fit him inside of you—and he’s feels so fucking lucky that he has you—so willing to take all that he’s giving—sucking him in and whining for more. He waits a few moments, only listening to the way your heavy breaths start to grow lighter, until you’re whimpering a soft, “‘gyu.”
He wastes no time in jerking his hips upward, shifting inside of you and battering the inside of your soft walls. You bite down on his shoulder as you push your hips down to meet his thrusts, choking back soft sobs as you feel his cock kiss your cervix with each movement.
“Holy shit,” Mingyu grunts as you begin to bounce on his lap, his length slipping out of you halfway before being plunged right back in with a sopping mess growing on his thighs.
You whine loudly at the overwhelming pleasure that takes over your body, lifting your head up so you could look at Mingyu with your mouth agape and hair stuck all over your burning face, a sheer layer of sweat starting to envelope both your bodies.
Soon, both of your movements begin to grow erratic and sloppy, hips jamming into each other so hard you’d be surprised if you even have the ability to walk tomorrow. You now know why Mingyu was concerned about fucking every day.
“You g’na cum soon pretty? Cum all over my cock? I can feel it angel, can feel your pretty cunt squeezing me.”
“Fuck, Mingyu,” you manage to gasp out, “Yeah, ’m gonna cum—feels so good, so full, so—fuck!”
Mingyu’s cock pulses inside of you and that’s when every detail seems to be heightened to a thousand—as your orgasm racks through you, you seem to feel every curve, every vein, dragging in and out of you to such detail that it has your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you scream out his name.
Mingyu watches you fall apart, surrendering to bliss, and the way your hips are sporadically swiveling over his, your pussy’s wetness coating and creaming his cock has him going into a frenzy. Frantically, he begins to snap his hips faster up into you, your soft moans of overstimulation pushing him to his end faster than he can ever imagine. Watching the way he slides in and out of you is enough to have him cumming, shooting his hot, sticky load inside your warm cunt.
Riding out the last of his orgasm with soft rolls of his hips, Mingyu sighs contently at the feeling of you milking him dry, the both of you looking down at the wet, dirty mess you’ve made where the two of you connect, his cock still throbbing inside of you.
Both of you finally look up at the same time, grinning at each other, and you flop forward resting your head on his chest as he slowly combs his fingers through your hair, other hand running up and down your back.
“Why’d you start working the evening shifts?” you ask Mingyu after your breath has finally leveled. “I thought you hated those.”
“I did, but you stopped coming in the mornings, and I figured it was because of me. I hoped that maybe you would start coming in the evenings so I asked my boss to change my regular shifts just in case.”
“Oh wow, you really do love me.”
“I already told you I do! Even more than you love daisies, remember?”
#svt smut#seventeen imagines#seventeen smut#mingyu x reader#mingyu smut#mingyu fluff#mingyu angst#svt fluff#svt angst#kim mingyu x reader#kim mingyu smut#kim mingyu fluff#kim mingyu angst#📝 writing
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Hiiii omg i hope ur doing well it’s 8 am here and i opened my pinterest and i saw this…can i request like idk thigh riding while he’s in his suit? Thanks<3
remind me again, captain || s. rogers
summary: whatever you and steve had together was confusing but exhilarating.
word count: <2000
warning: thigh riding (<3), mentions of choking, use of ‘sir’ and ‘captain’, nickname (’bunny,’ ‘baby,’ ‘good girl’), prior consent to touching while asleep, 18+
an: im really liking this request thing, so feel free to send me one!
This thing you had with Steve, whatever you wanted to call it, was new. And you weren’t entirely sure how it started. Well, actually that’s a lie. You knew exactly how it started, he made sure you would never forget, but you weren’t entirely sure what had begun you two down this path. You honestly still dreamt about that first time, and it had been a few months since it all started.
“Blew it again, Rogers, oh sorry, I mean, Captain.” You spoke the words like they were venom in your mouth. The two of you, along with Wanda, Bucky, and Banner, had gone on a mission to retrieve some files. The files had to do with a possible answer to a string of missing people. Usually this was something the police dealt with, but not this time, this time it was other-worldly, which basically had the Avengers name written all over it.
You had quite the mouth on you, and it definitely got in the way of your relationships sometimes, but you were working on it. It was especially especially bad when you were frustrated, just like you were that night. It was multi-layered as to why you were agitated, and Steve had caught the brute force of your attitude, which he had admittedly gotten used to. But in your defense, this time he deserved it. The organization that was protecting the files had caught wind of Captain America being close by because he had to throw around that stupid dinner plate he called a shield.
When you finally got back on the Quinjet, no files, you really let him have it. The three others had gotten sick of your bitching, and walked away. That’s when he cut you off, mid-sentence. “I am the Captain of this mission, and I will not allow you to speak like that to me anymore.” His voice projected across the ship, he had reached his breaking point. You could see the vein in his forehead pulsating, his teeth were gritted, and he stepped closer to you. “So watch your mouth.” His hand landed on your shoulder, forcefully pulling you as close as he could.
“Why don’t you make me?” The words had left your mouth before you could even process them, and you hadn’t intended on making them sound so…sexual. But it ended up working out well for you. And if your words hadn’t surprised you, his next ones sure did. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.” The words made your heart race, and you could feel your panties go damp. You cocked an eyebrow at him, a sarcastic laugh passing your lips, “I always finish, Rogers.”
And that night ended exactly how you imagined.
But tonight was different.
The latest mission didn’t require your assistance, which you were actually excited about. You had been on the last seven missions, and you were tired to say the least. But the same could not be said for Steve, he was the Captain after all. Tony, Natasha, Clint, and him had been in Switzerland for the past six days, and were currently on their way back. So, to say you were needy was an understatement.
You thumbed through the most recent book Steve had recommended, trying to ignore the aching feeling between your legs and the heaviness of your eye. Your gaze shifted towards the clock, it’s red numbers glaring back at you, 11:39pm. You promised Steve you would stay awake, but that was getting harder and harder to do as the minutes ticked by. And before you knew it, the letters on the pages got blurry and your eyes fell shut. The last thing you remembered was feeling the book fall against your chest.
Steve was the first one out of the Quinjet when it landed back at the compound. He mumbled something about a debrief in the morning, he had one thing, or person, on his mind, and that was you. If you thought you were desperate, Steve was beyond that. Six long days, lack of sleep, not to mention his frustration with Tony had reached its breaking point, and he couldn’t wait to take it out on you. Fuck you until you couldn’t remember your own name.
He had dreamt about you every night. The sight of your naked body seared into his brain, which he definitely wasn’t complaining about. The breathy moans that fell past your lips played on repeat in his mind. The thought of his hand wrapped around your throat, and your tiny ones holding onto his wrist begging for him to squeeze even tighter, made his suit feel even tighter in the crotch region.
His bed desperately called for him, but he ignored it, pressing the elevator button corresponding with your floor. Luckily, only one other person lived on the fourth floor of the compound, which was Wanda. But she was rarely ever there, sneaking into Vision compound instead. For her sake, he prayed she was there tonight.
The elevator let out a loud ‘ding,’ and he finally looked at his watch to see the time. It was nearly two-thirty in the morning, and he had a hunch you had fallen asleep, which you did often after promising you would stay up for him. His boots were loud against the wooden floorboards, practically jogging to your door. He knocked, loudly, hoping to hear your voice. And not surprisingly, he didn’t.
Pushing open your door, he saw a familiar sight. Your head lulled to the side on one of your shoulders, a book open on your chest. He couldn’t help but turn soft for a moment and observe your beauty. The way your skin color popped against your neutral sheets, you hair strewn across your face and pillows, and the soft rhythm of your chest.
But this sweet feeling quickly subsided and was taken over by a more hungry side, one that had been wanting you for almost a week. So, he did what he normally did, which he had gotten consent to do previously, and approached you. His hand ran across your exposed stomach, finger tracing the hem of your sleep shorts. His bare calloused hand, disappeared further into your pants, contrasting roughly against your soft skin.
His index finger trailed between the lips of your pussy, using the underwear to collect any arousal, which there was a significant amount. He took his bottom lip between his teeth, he missed his wet you were. It made everything that much better. He could slide in and out of your so easily. You stirred in your sleep, his finger exploring past the fabric, finally feeling the wetness himself. Your eyes were screwed together, thighs clenching together to hold his hand in place, and next a small moan fell from your mouth.
Your eyes reluctantly pulled open, and you saw a familiar sight before you. Steve hovering above you, hand deep inside your panties already. “Anxious, were we?” You chuckled, a small laugh leaving your mouth. Slowly you rubbed any remaining sleep from your eyes. He let out a dark chuckle, one that vibrated through your body. Steve didn’t give you a moment to even think before he was all over you.
His lips pressed against yours, his usually soft lips were gone, they were rough and chapped but you didn’t let that stop either of you. He was hungry for you, and his movements said it all. He ripped the comforter off of your frame, letting his other hand wander down the side of your body, sneaking his fingers under the material of your shirt. The pads of his fingers were hard, and his worn out hand cupped one of your breasts.
A small moan passed your lips and traveled towards his ears. His thumb brushed over your pebbled nipple, back and forth making your body cave inwards. He knew you were incredibly sensitive when it came to your breast, and he used that to his advantage. His lips left yours for a moment, “I’m so tired, baby, but I want you so bad.” He murmured, eyes meeting yours. You wracked your brain for a moment, before you came up with an idea.
“Sit.” You demanded, before pressing another kiss to his lips. He listened without another word, taking a seat on your bed. This was the first time you got a good look at him. He still wore his suit, he knew you had a thing for it, so he hadn’t stopped and gotten changed before coming to see you. It was something about the muted colors against his pale skin, and the way it flattered his physique.
After untangled yourself from your sheets, you placed both your hands on his shoulders, straddling one of his thighs. “What’re you doing?” His face was full of confusion. You shushed him, and pressed your lips against his again. What you did next caught Steve off guard. He felt your panty-clad core rub against the fabric on his pants. He opened his mouth to further question you, but instead he heard you suck in a quick breath. You were enjoying this.
Taking you by the hips, he gripped them tightly, teetering on the edge of too tight. But you never minded the bruises. Forcing you further down on his thigh, slowly grinding against him. Soon this wasn’t enough for Steve, he wanted to hear you more. One of his hands released your hip, traveling down to your panties, and forcibly moving them to the side. Your pussy against the nylon fabric was like no other, a moan was instantly emitted from your lips.
“You’re so wet, bunny.” He could feel the wet patch growing against his leg. Steve leaned back, supporting his weight on his palms. He could have watched you for hours. Your hips bucking subconsciously, your eyes begging to close, and your mouth slightly agape. “Don’t hold back, baby.” He encouraged, making warmth flood to your cheeks. “Need more.” You murmured, desperately trying to catch your orgasm.
You felt his thumb land on your lips, this caused you to open your eyes. When you caught Steve’s gaze he spoke, “Suck.” He ordered, and you listened. You took his thumb between your lips, using your tongue to circle over the digit. Once it was covered in your saliva, he pulled it from your mouth. “Good girl.”
It landed on your clit, making your body tense immediately. “If you stop, I stop.” He explained, beginning to rub in small, circular motions. It was hard to concentrate, you wanted to stop and enjoy his finger work, but you didn’t want him to stop. “Steve, I-“ He loved the way his name fell from your lips, but that wasn’t part of your agreement. “You know not to call me that.” He tutted, stopping his motions immediately.
“I-I’m sorry, sir.” You begged, the fire between your legs fleeting. “You know better than that.” He cooed, tucking a piece of hair behind your ears.” You knew you had fucked up. A feeling of dread, and excitement, washed over you. He wasn’t going to let this slide. “I was gone for six days and you forgot how to act.” He continued, his tone was condescending. If it was in any other setting you would talk back, but not now, not to him.
“I think I need a reminder, captain.”
#steve rogers#steve rogers x you#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers one shot#steve rogers fanfiction#stever rogers imagine#stever rogers smut#steve rogers request#steve rogers thigh riding#chris evans#chris evans x you#chris evans x reader#chris evan one shot#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans request#chris evans smut
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The Gaang are Roommates AU ~
note: this is a rewrite and repost of my old roommates au, there was some stuff I wanted to change, and I wanted to make the parts a little longer, so yeah, ta-dah!
- think modern setting in the canon universe, bending is still a thing
- the Gaang are all in going to Ba Sing Se University
- I’m gonna change the ages a bit to make it easier for myself, sorry
- Zuko, Sokka, Suki and Mai are 20, Katara, Ty Lee and Azula are 19, Aang, Toph and Yue are 18
- so, Zuko, Sokka, Katara, Aang and Toph end up living together in a big loft type apartment
- Sokka and Aang are old best friends, they met Toph in Middle School, and Katara is a natural part of the group
- until now Sokka and Katara have both been living in the dorms, and they both hate it intensely
- but now that Aang and Toph are also in uni, they all decide to move in together!
- …but the only problem is that the only place they find that they like is just out of their price rage (Toph’s parents aren’t supportive of her major so they’re not helping out much)
- enter: ~ Zuko ~
- so, Zuko has been living with his uncle Iroh since his Father, who’s a high up in some big and important company the Fire Nation, disowned him for speaking up against the company’s shifty treatment of workers and ruining a lot of sacred land etc
- they’re still firebenders and the scar still happened, not in an Agni Kai, but it happened
- but after Zuko started uni, Iroh really tried to push him to meet some people his own age and make some friends
- the only people Zuko talks to on the regular besides Iroh is Azula, Ty Lee and Mai, and Mai is the only one who is like, his friend yanno?
- the last year the deal was that if Zuko didn’t branch out, Iroh would have him live one year with other students
- it’s his idea of tough love
- Zuko tried to do some random kid’s homework to have them pretend to be his new friend in front of Iroh so he wouldn’t have to, but Iroh can tell he’s lying so easily
- so, Zuko ends up hearing about the Gaang through Mai, who heard from Ty Lee, who plays field hockey, Suki, who’s best friends with Sokka
- so, he goes to meet them, and it’s so awkward mY GOD
- Katara is a B I G environmental activist and HATES Ozai and his company, with good reason
- she eases up a tad when Zuko admits to being turned away from as a teen, but she is still suspicious
- Aang loves him right away, ofc, and that makes Katara even more suspicious because she’s pretty protective of Aang
- she claims it’s because he’s so kind and believes everyone but she totally liikeees hiiiim
- Toph is just like, sure, as long as he pays his rent idgaf
- Sokka is weirdly quiet, because he’s had a huge crush on Zuko forever, and the only one who knows is Aang (and Toph but she ain’t no snitch)
- so, ya boy makes the cut, and before they know it, it’s move-in day!
- but, the idiots didn’t think through the facts that it’s only three bedrooms oops
- and Toph is NOT afraid to pull the “I’m blind and I need my space” card
- and nobody’s up to fight her on it, so
- let’s just say there is A LOT of back and forth, but with Katara refusing to room with her brother again, and Zuko being rightfully scared of Katara, it ends up with Zuko and Sokka sharing a bedroom, and Katara and Aang
- they have separate beds ofc
- but still, tension, man, so much tension
- it takes a while, but the dynamics starts working out really well
- Zuko is good at grocery shopping and likes to clean, and Aang is always happy to help him out
- Sokka loves cooking, so he does that a lot
- Katara is always on top of the others with schoolwork and making sure everyone is okay, and she usually does it in genius, sneaky ways so people doesn’t even notice that she does it
- Toph is clearing the air off bullshit
- like, she will call a bitch out
- but because she cares about said bitch
- so, Aang knows that Sokka has a crush on Zuko because Sokka told him in a weak moment, and Toph knows because she just knows
- Aang is a good friend tho, and he tries to like, ease them together
- but he is so awkward about it, the poor thing, and Zuko doesn’t understand AT ALL
- Toph is just sitting back and sighing a lot
- Katara doesn’t understand either but she just stays out of it (smart girl)
- but okay, we know how oblivious Zuko can be right?
- Sokka can give him googly eyes and blush and stutter around him so much and he still has no clue at all
- Zuko starts thinking Sokka just doesn’t like him at all
- but then one night Zuko has this really intense nightmare
- okay and quick addition, his scar is… handshaped? Like, you can clearly tell what happened to him
- but nobody talks about it, yet
- but then he’s having a terrible nightmare and is talking and begging and pleading in his sleep
- so much that Sokka wakes up
- and he catches on pretty fast, but had no idea what to do
- so he just shuffles over to Zuko’s side of the room and starts tapping his shoulder rapidly
- but nothing happens
- so he just… gently and awkwardly pats his head until Zuko wakes up
- and Zuko is like… wat u doin there bro
- and Sokka is like… just patting ur head to wake you from a nightmare bro
- and they awkwardly just mumble and go back to their beds
- but Zuko is smiling a lot because someone who’s not his family or a family friend really cares about him
- after that, Zuko slowly starts opening up to all of them, but Sokka especially
- he never really tells them about being cast out and burned tho
- until one day he kinda casually slings it into a convo all fast and awkwardly
- it’s just Toph, Aang and Sokka there
- Toph yells so WHAATTT so loudly and just metalbends the whole fridge into a clump in rage
- Aang cries lmao but he tries to hide to and be supportive and not awkward
- Sokka is kinda quiet, but he carefully asks about it that night when they’re in their beds, and they talk a little about it
- Aang tells Katara (with permission) and she awkwardly, but wholeheartedly tells him that he can always talk to her
- they do that «awkward sibling hug» from Gravity Falls after
- *hugs stiffly* «pat, pat»
- but okay, Toph and metalbending when angry, it happens quite a lot
- this was the first time it was the fridge, but the toaster, the microwave, and several other appliances have met the same fate
- everyone is kinda used to it now, and she always replaces it
- except Zuko, who’s still kinda new to them all
- but what are you supposed to say when your new friends is so outraged by the abuse you went through that they crush a whole ass fridge?
- it actually reminds him that he’s cared for here, by these people who owe him nothing, and is not related to him, and it makes him a little dizzy to have people care this way
- he casually mentions it to his Uncle Iroh the time he’s in at work, that his new friend is a metalbender and squashed their whole fridge when she was pissed on his behalf
- Iroh is thrilled
- to the point of offering Toph a job lmao
- Toph, desperate to cut of as much ties with her family and be as self-sufficient as possible, agrees
- and now Iroh have two formerly rich kids with no clue about any sort of customer service and basic stuff like that working for him
- Toph is a hard worker tho, and she and Zuko work surprisingly well together
- Katara is a little relived, because the more those two work, the less are the chances of either of them trying to cook or do too many chores around their apartment
- they mean well, or, Zuko does, but he does so much dumb shit when trying to help lmao
- Sokka starts spending a lot of time over at The Jasmine Drago too
- Aang is still trying to keep the fact that Sokka likes Zuko a secret, but he is having trouble
- Katara is his biggest weakness, and now they’re suddenly alone with her a lot
- someone else who could always read Sokka really well is Suki
. whom he used date in high school, but they parted as friends and everything s cool
- but Sokka is a little taken aback when she comes into The Jasmine Dragon one day, hand in hand with Sokka’s childhood crush obsession, Yue
- for the first time in man’s memory, Sokka is a little speechless
- and Suki’s like “lmao dude I haven’t seen you like this since the first time you saw Zu-”
- cue Zuko popping out behind them like “WELCOME TO THE JASMINE DRAGON FRIENDS OF SOKKA :D”
- Sokka is so fucking red, poor boy is just about having an aneurism at this point
- but luckily something happens and Zuko gets distracted
- Suki is having the time of her life tho, Sokka always used to tease her for her crushes before and after they dated, and suddenly, here they are
- at the apartment, Aang decides they need some apartment traditions
- they’ve been living there for almost three months, after all
- so he decides that weekly movie nights are mandatory
- so are pillowforts
- Katara is actually really excited for it, she loves all things cozy and fall-like
- also… she is weak for Aang, y’all, and she loves seeing him all excited
- Zuko barely knows what a pillowfort is, he didn’t think real people actually made it
- but imagine these dorks in a pillowfort with hot chocolate and lot’s of pillows
- Toph claims that she thinks it’s soo dumb, but she will always make sit in the middle of the group all wrapped in her blanket and laughing when the others jump and get spooked from the horror movies Sokka always wants to watch
- and she will make sure the fort is right and perfect lmao
- Zuko is a little awkward about it at first, but he likes it too
- Sokka always manages to plop in next to Zuko lmao
- they haven’t talked about the head patting incident yet, but Zuko is def starting to feel the butterflies
- one time after a movie night Sokka falls asleep on Zuko’s shoulder, after the others have left for the night
- Zuko can’t resist waking him up with awkward head pats similar to the one Sokka used on him
- Sokka thinks he died and went to heaven lmao
- but then he fully wakes and sees Zuko’s shit eating grin and can’t help but laugh at the whole thing
- and Zuko has his “oh no he’s hot beautiful and I really adore him” moment
#I think about this AU a lot tbh#avatar the last airbender#zukka#modern zukka#zuko#kataang#sokka#modern atla#modern gaang#katara#aang#modern kataang#katara x aang#Aang x katara#Zuko x sokka#sokka x suki#suki x yue#yueki#modern yueki#yue#suki#yue x suki#iroh#mai#ty lee#azula#modern iroh#modern Gaang headcanons#Modern ATLA headcanons#atla headcanons
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spank bank HCs /// Oikawa, Atsumu, and Kuroo x s/o (18+)
A/N: Been thinking about how the hq boys practice self-love 😏 Kind of a palate cleanser, I want to do this for more characters haha
Tags/warnings: pornography, masturbation, sex, edging, lots of mentions of different porn categories, Kuroo is a little shit, all characters are 18 or older
Oikawa Tōru
Oikawa has a weird relationship with conventional porn. On one hand, he’s a young healthy guy with an equally healthy sex drive, and what can he say, he likes watching girls get pounded
On the other hand, the kind of porn you find on sites like PH is always ugly men fucking beautiful women, and as a pretty boy Oikawa finds it hard to identify with. Like where is the justice??? How is it supposed to be believable that a gorgeous woman in her twenties is really moaning that hard for an aging male pornstar with more hair on his chest than on his head?
So he opts for the perfect alternative: camgirls!
He has three or four different channels that he bounces between. His favorites are the ones that are well-lit, nicely produced, high quality film and lots of eye contact. He never interacts or chats with them though, he’s kind of a lurker
Very very into solo acts and toys. You know those sites that let you control the speed of a girl’s vibrator by donating certain amounts of money? Oikawa lives for those. All his pocket change goes toward camgirls, it’s a real problem
Once the two of you start dating, Oikawa’s sexual needs are mostly sated because…well, he’s got you, and you’re a hundred times hotter than any random girl on the internet. But once in a while it’ll still happen that your schedules don’t line up or you’re on your period or it just doesn’t work out, and he’ll get pent up again
When that happens, he’ll return to his old stand-by channels. It’ll be kinda nostalgic getting off to girls fucking themselves with glass dildos or grinding on vibrators in front of the webcam
But the problem, the problem is that he can’t get you out of his head, and when he’s looking at “jasm1neXXX” doing her cute little striptease, he keeps feeling like he’s betraying you :(
So Oikawa bids a regretful goodbye to his old favorite camgirls, and begins the search for one who looks like you. The resemblance doesn’t have to be perfect, it can be something small—hair that matches your color, a moan that falls into a huff of breath like you do—just enough that he can imagine that she’s you
Definitely never tells you that he gets off to porn. Feels guilty about it even if you wouldn’t care ➳
Miya Atsumu
Kinda the opposite of Oikawa when it comes to porn. His preferences are extremely fuckboyish
Into a little bit of everything. Lesbian, gangbang, bondage, creampie, step-sibling, whatever. You name it, he’s seen it, and he’s probably jacked off to it. The only thing he’s resolutely not into is amateur stuff. Atsumu doesn’t fuck with that low-budget bullshit
Definitely not here for the storyline though—he’ll skip ahead in the video past the setup (seriously, who gives a fuck about why the babysitter decided to spread her legs for the the pizza delivery guy) so he can get to the good part
Into edging. To spice things up a bit if he’s got at least an hour of free time he’ll go through a bunch of different videos, jerking himself off slowly while he watches a pretty girl get wrecked, up until he feels his stomach drop and he’s riiiiight about to cum when he’ll stop. Wait. Let himself fall down a little bit, hold back, drop away from the edge. And start another video just so he can do it all over again
Atsumu doesn’t really know…why he likes edging. It’s very frustrating. It makes him antsy and horny and tense, so he’s not sure why he does it. Once when he was doing it, he got interrupted and couldn’t finish until ages later and it was probably the most unpleasant thing he’s ever felt that wasn’t physical pain. He was seriously this fucking close 👌 to smacking the shit out of the person who interrupted him (it was Osamu complaining that he was sick of getting sexiled for over an hour)
It just…feels good, okay? It feels real good to finally get to cum after he’s been edging. Jerking off every other day can get old, so a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do
Favorite category is probably public sex! The possibility of other people overseeing is so fucking hot
Overall, Atsumu has a pretty high sex drive and feels zero guilt about watching porn. Even if you guys are dating, he has needs and you’re not always around to help with them, so that’s where PH and XV come in
Absolutely not shy about it with you. Legit if he’s watching something he wants to try that he just saw in a porno, he will not hesitate to text you the link and be like “hey watch this n tell me what ya think”
Even if you’re not the type to be appreciative of his porn recommendations, he will still def take notes from what he watches and apply them irl. Atsumu is plenty aware that porn is unrealistic, but he’s more than capable of sifting out the good from the bad, and it helps him be…let’s say creative in bed
Want to know where he learned that new move or that extremely bendy position? You don’t have to wonder. It’s porn. He learned it from porn ◎
Kuroo Tetsurō
Kuroo tends to get in a bit of a dilemma because he likes sex and his sex drive is through the roof, but he Does Not. Like. Masturbating.
He much, much prefers to have sex with a partner—to be fair, who doesn’t?—but Kuroo will take it to an extreme. If he’s not able to see you, he’ll go weeks without touching his dick for any reason that isn’t pissing or washing
Literally...a couple months after you started dating, his family made him come on a three-week vacation to Hawaii and when he came back he complained that it was the worst three weeks of his life
“You were in a tropical paradise getting a tan and you’re acting like it was a war zone. Stop whining.” “But baby, you weren’t there! I was so horny, you have no idea, I thought I was going to die, I thought my dick was going to fall off—“
It gets annoying.
When he gets his hands on you after a decent period apart, he’ll be like “I saved myself up for you baby <3” and you’re like “um, ew, why are you so gross”
If he doesn’t wear a condom with you, be prepared for the fact that he cums a lot. A lot. You’ll be in the shower afterward cleaning up and it’s like, there’s more? There’s still fucking more???
You ask Kuroo once why he doesn’t like jacking off, kind of awkwardly, after a four-round fuckfest that left you too shaky to even hold your hips off the bed, and he pauses for a second to think about it before answering
“Well…imagine you have a choice between two meals. One of them is a gourmet steak from a five-star restaurant, and the other one is…hm, a McDonald’s hamburger. You can have the burger whenever you want it, but the steak is only available once in a while because it’s rare and you have to appreciate it when you have it. Which would you choose?”
Okay, fine. That’s kind of cute
It’s less cute when you guys are apart and Kuroo gets really desperate, desperate enough that you get 6 texts in a row from him at 1 in the morning implying that he’s in some kind of dire emergency
“babe”
“BABE”
“911”
“🆘❌⚠️🆘”
“please I need ur help it’s important”
“call me asap”
You call him all frantic, asking him if he needs you to call the cops or something. Is he in trouble? Hurt? Is there a home invader threatening his life?
Nope, he’s totally fine, he’s just horny and wants to have phone sex. That son of a bitch
If you tell him off badly enough, Kuroo will relent and make do without you. He will, however, request nudes to help him through this difficult time
Send thoughts and prayers instead ✷
#Oikawa tooru x reader#Miya atsumu x reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#kuroo tetsurou x reader#haikyuu x reader#hq x reader#oikawa tooru#Miya atsumu#kuroo tetsuro#kuroo tetsurou#haikyuu#hq#oikawa x reader#atsumu x reader#kuroo x reader#oikawa#kuroo#atsumu#haikyuu headcanons#smut
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omg Try was so goooood!!!! major angst i loved it even if it means my heart breaking 🥴 i know you said you weren’t writing a sequel but my mind is going into overdrive i have so many unanswered questions omg !!!! like how do they act with each other when the child is born ?? do they finally start to try and get along ?? does the reader resent the child for looking soooo much like draco (i just see his genes being too strong lmao) is draco a better father than he is husband ?!! ahhh so much but that’s what i love i suppose!!!! amazing writing i love ur account <3
Read the fic first!
This was supposed to be a short reply but I’ve accidentally turned it into a headcanon so ill just tag my entire taglist; I hope this is okay!!
I am really kind of tempted to turn this into a slowburn like 20 chapter fanfic but I just don't have the time to do so right now but maybe in the future!! I can imagine it going either one of two ways; either they have a child and they live out their duties until they die, just tolerating each other.
or:
I don't think either of you would bare any sort of resentment for their child as you never loved each other in the first place, your forced marriage was a result of your parents decisions and not your own, you both understand this
you both worry about being good parents but, you learnt from your parent’s mistakes and both want the best for your children so you both literally do everything in your powers to keep them happy no matter how unhappy the both of you actually are
after child #1, you both have a little too much to drink at a party or something because lets be honest, you’re both miserable
you make child #2
you goes through a really complicated delivery
probably says something as you’re delirious on pain meds and just panicked about both you and the baby dying
probably pleads Draco to save you; that you cant die yet, "No one has ever loved me Draco, please. I can’t go yet. I can’t.” borderline hysterics
you’re both fine but everyone is traumatised
things are tense between the two of you but he starts doing small things.
it takes months and months and months but he stops sleeping with other women, he starts making you a cup of tea each morning, he starts leaving gifts for you like the newest book from your favourite author or some ridiculously expensive piece of jewellery, he starts comforting you when you have nightmares or just remembers the delivery process
its slow and its gradual but you become comfortable in each others company, you'll simply sit in bed reading together instead of only going into your bedroom to sleep though talking is still very limited
you have to act as a happy couple in front of your children and others of course, but it becomes so much easier
you start holding hands and just touching more in general (things like a hand to the small of your back or kisses on the cheek even) outside of social events because they’ve just become normal and you both secretly enjoy it
you kiss one night and it just leads to more but neither of you know how to communicate so it just pretty much falls apart and the both of you become uncomfortable with each other again
you're back to square one and neither of you know how to feel about it
something big happens again, like one of your children comes down with a fever and you both just need break
neither of you can fall asleep, both just curled up in the child doorway as they sleep, just praying they makes it through the night (theyre all good)
he initiates a talk, in bed on a random night maybe a few weeks afterwards
and you talk and talk and talk for hours about why he did what he did and how much he hurt you and on why he never tried with you (I'll leave this to your imagination) and that he is just sorry
youre both sorry about the life you were forced to live and how neither of you properly tried (though he made a significantly larger amount of apologies than you did)
you’re almost 10 years into marriage but you decide that you want to try, nothing can change the past and you both understand that so you just want to start afresh
and it’s awkward at first, you'd known each other all your lives but now the dynamic’s shifted
it was difficult and you both almost called it off multiple times but you made it work
it wasn't the perfect relationship but you both didn't give up and even managed to love each other by the end of it, resulting in another child
you learn to communicate and to forgive and most importantly to love
you’re by no means soulmates but you love each other and you’re happy
and you live happily ever after lmao
taglist underneath
taglist: @bbeauttyybbx @pipppaaaaalouisee @theslytherinprincessworld @fangirl-3d2y @tttyrus @scriptingslytherin @justmimithings @purpleskymalfoy @minigigglybabi @505weasleys @secretaccshh @obbrssession @whatwoulddracodo @thatoneniceslytherin @thehumanistsdiary @mariah-can-dream @futureofanthropology @ccabian @tobarmaidswhodontcount @dray-cookies @xuckduck @dreamyginny @dracofeltonmalfoy @lord-byron @inglourious-imagines @audreythehufflepuff @beiahadid @moonlightorbit @imonlyherecauseimbored @dracosgoodgirl @dreaming-about-fanfictions @goldensatine @avengers-end-me @sad-bitch-h0ur @zhangyixingxing1 @yourenotafailureoverall @pastelpuffbar @miso-tang @pixiedustsupplyco @harry-and-draco-loves @tsukibaby @dracoswhore007 @hogwartslut @mischiefisbeingmanaged @raylovessarcasm @drxcomvlfx @dracosballs @standingandstaring @its-chickenwing-450 @iamproudtobeaslytherin @mischiefisbeingmanaged @pxroxide-prinxcesss @slytherinxraven @jinnbie @lunalovegoodsgirlfriend @Utzelh8 @gloryekaterina @capkatie @jquick-18 @imcedricdiggorys @osterfieldnholland @explxsion @big-galaxy-chaos @malfoycrave @softlyqoos @krazykendraisnotinsane @minsuuwu @lumlfy @mllzhxrrs44 @weasleyis0urking @slytherinwh0re @gwlvr @m3ssytrash @aubreyanna02 @akaaaaashiiii @carrobrumbrum @dracoswift @bitchybeatle @samnblack @dumspirospero-1 @dracomalfoyswifeee @fuckingdraco @myshaahmad77 @you-sunshine @little_me204 @lipstickandloveletters @pillowjj @meipotter @dracoismybabey @rennaisancebaby @gwlvr
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okay i’ll bite. what is mcyt and dream smp. like i know what they stand for but what exactly... is it.... is it actually good or just your latest hyperfixation AGSHJSJSKS
oh god beware this is long and also i technically wrote it as part of a tangent to another ask but i realized this response suited this question much better but it also makes references to that ask which i will answer right after this one
“what is minecraft youtube?” well any YouTube video that features minecraft is technically minecraft youtube. i specifically only care about like. dream + friends. i follow the ‘feral boys’ (dream george quackity sapnap karl) mostly? but if ur question is: what is dream known for? the answer is minecraft manhunt and dream smp
so what’s minecraft manhunt? to understand that, u need to understand that minecraft isn’t “just blocks” because it is a beatable game haha. u beat the game by killing the ender dragon and obviously there’s a lot of stuff u need to do to do that. but i won’t bore u w the details. “speedrunning minecraft” means u beat minecraft very fast. dream used to be the record holder for beating minecraft a few months ago. he no longer is but i won’t get into that. it’s an annoying discussion n literally no one cares. all i’ll say is if u really believe he cheated and that he wasn’t being targeted by people who have since been exposed for trying to frame him for saying slurs that he never said (amongst other stuff), then u literally hate neurodivergent people so much. that’s all!
so what is MANHUNT, specifically? basically, dream does a series where x number of people are HUNTING him down and trying to KILL him before he beats the game. if he dies even ONCE, he loses. he’s done this with one hunter (george), two (+sapnap), three (+badboyhalo), four (+antfrost), and now five hunters (+awesamdude)
the hunters have infinite lives, and a compass that leads them to where dream is at any given point in the game. dream is allowed to kill them as many times as he wants, as a form of self preservation
so what’s the allure to manhunt? essentially, it’s how dream plays the game. he’s incredibly skilled at pvp (fighting) and parkour (moving fast and agile that i can’t even begin to explain. u need to see this for urself. it’s even more impressive if u play the game) and “clutching” (how he saves himself from risky moves and all the absolutely CREATIVE ways he does it)
also all the traps he sets to kill the hunters since it’s hard to go up against multiple people no matter how good you are. and how QUICKLY he thinks. it’s amazing. people with adhd are amazing and dream is a PRIME example of that. it makes me less hateful of my adhd :) and more appreciative of my traits :)
how did he do this? lots of research, lots of practice, lots of training. dream used to be a really average minecraft player who had to beg GEORGE to go easy on him. now? george loses to dream even on 40/50 hearts (the usual is 10). dream poured his heart into making his videos, putting a creative spin and skillful spin to his content that had never really been seen/executed as well before. and so 1.5 years after he started actively making YouTube videos he has over 20 million subscribers. and I’m not kidding, that number could be 30 million in a few months from now. that’s how fast he’s growing
ok i got off topic. another great thing about manhunt is dream’s relationship w the HUNTERS. the hunters are friends who dream has known for many years, and also they come up with great plans to defeat him as well. in many ways, they can also be seen as the “underdogs” in manhunt, especially since dream won the 4 hunters series 3-2. anyway in manhunt, all of the players are in an open channel discord voice chat, so they can all hear each other talk, and also talk to each other. sometimes the hunters discuss strategies before the face off, or they dm ideas secretly in the game chat, or attempt to talk in code. but mostly dream can hear the things they say, and they can hear the things he says. it makes it so that they can attempt to trick each other, but they can also hear things that give them a leg up in the game. etc etc. the banter that goes on is like. BIG part of what makes manhunt fun to watch
and the editing...... it is very good and engaging n he chooses fun music :) the speedrun music is a meme by now but it still slaps unironically. he makes excellent choices n i am very entertained
OKAY. so what is dream smp?
(smp stands for Survival Multiplayer. aka: a lot of people play together in a world where u can die and monsters spawn. the dream part is because dream owns the server)
once upon a time, there were two best friends. their names were dream and george. they decided to play minecraft survival together, but they didn’t want to beat the game super fast this time. THIS was about having fun. they wanted to casually explore the world, build a house together, raise some animals, start a farm, etc! after a bit they started to add some of their other friends so more people could have fun with them. and then more people got added. and the dream smp started to include a roleplay aspect because they invited people who did roleplay on other servers
i won’t summarize the events for u. if u wanna know what HAPPENED plot wise, this dude evanmcgaming makes like. summaries that are low key documentaries. very well made, he includes clips from the actual lore streams when necessary! his channel is here and i’ll list the documentaries in order: first | second | third | fourth | fifth
and then this really cool 18 year old Filipino girl started animating events on the dream smp to look REALLY cool n it got so many views and her first animation was done on her PHONE w her FINGER and it made the people on dream smp go damn we need to step the FUCK up so that this girl can get better material for her animations. they are all huge fans of her. everyone is a huge fan of her. she’s called sad-ist, and so far there are 4 main animations: first | second | third | fourth
anyway now! dream smp is essentially what i would call gay planned theatre improv but the medium through which they perform is not a stage but on minecraft. there actually is WRITING involved in this, they script the series of events etc, but for the most part they don’t actively script dialogue afaik?
some truly AMAZING bits of dialogue has come out of the dream smp. the dream smp is basically. gamers transform into theatre kids before ur very eyes + some of these bitches WERE theatre kids and they’re showing it now!
it’s amazing watching the growth because a lot of them have improved leaps and bounds. one of the most notable improved actors is dream ❤️ yea im bringing him up ok because im RIGHT his acting used to just be him screaming but now he can give me chills. he’s very good n is the “main villain” on dream smp :)
and like. not only do we have people like sad-ist animating the smp we have members like quackity who include pre recorded elements in his lore streams to make it just. a truly incredible experience. quackity my beloved. i love him so much
#ask#mcyt#dream smp#dreamwastaken#anyway i say i follow the feral boys#but my faves rn are dream george quackity#aka the discord kittens ig? but that also low key includes badboyhalo#Anonymous
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AHHHHH!!! THANK YALL BITCHES FOR DOING THIS!
So background, I'm an Indian Transwoman and I think a lot of people could benefit from hearing this. (This starts off long and depressing, but will have some good tips)
1) We lose so much right out the gate. In highschool I had done incredibly well for myself and had 2 job offers for 60k + a year as web developer the day I turned 18. I was also running an IT company under one of my profs LLC. I got outted at the end of Junior year. I lost both those job offers, and all except 2 business connections. The day I was outted I had 5k in contracts cancelled. When that went down the drain, I pushed hard at Papa John's. There I was told "I'm one of the good ones", little did I know the "training exam" I was taking was actually my shift manager's GM training. Realizing it later I pushed to get that position. My District Manager said I could be a GM 1 month after I turned 18 in his district. The day I turned 18 I actually had to flee town for my safety. I transferred to another district, where the district manager made a point to secretly deny me even a shift lead promotion for years. I wound up being an interim GM while the district manager was looking for another one. Mind you they still hadn't even promoted me to shift lead. When I worked at a store in a City with trans job protections, I reported some transphobia and was immediately transferred to a store outside city limits where I wasn't legally protected. Later down the road when I started to look for software developer position I ran into more problems. I have had 7 interviews where when I came in for an in person interview I didn't talk to anyone other than the receptionist cause I'm trans. Don't let anyone tell you that tech is a tolerant industry for trans people in general, there is vastly more acceptance for college educated white transwomen than for other transpeople, and even for college educated white transwomen it's hard.
2) I did learn a few tricks along the way though, don't put your pronouns in an application or anything like that. Don't introduce yourself with pronouns. Instead correct the person when they get it wrong the first time, and be sternly assertive (do the same if ur name is different than your application name). Keep this up throughout your first interaction/day. IF you end up seeing them a second time they'll usually treat you with more respect. Also the advice to not put your legal name on applications etc. can backfire, especially at larger companies where things are automated and background checks are done. I knew someone who got fired cause one of the company's terms and conditions used their not legal name.
The obvious caviat to this is that, every trans experience is different. What works with one person might make things worse with another.
3) Now this one is kinda a tip for trans people too. A super assertive cis person correcting people for you, will be far more useful than spending all your energy 🥄 s correcting every sentence. As a transperson I've found the best jobs I've had are the ones where I've had a cis person who stood up for me without being asked. If you (a cis person) read or hear someone being misgendered, correct them and make that piece of shit feel as uncomfortable as possible. It's a shitty fact but me correcting someone on my pronouns has pretty much 0 effect after the 20th time. But every single time a cis person corrects another cis person it makes a difference. Being as aggressive and polite as you can be to make the piece of shit who's misgendering someone regret doing it is great. Making the Cis person spend as much effort dealing with the repercussions of misgendering someone, as the transperson has to spend dealing with transphobia. BUT Always listen to your trans co worker, if they say don't do something don't do it.
Also if you're hiring and wanna be trans inclusive, put something obvious on your application that shows your company puts in effort for transpeople. This can look like a lot of things :
Offer a legal and preferred name options and say something along the lines of "Your preferred name will be used in all possible situations, legal name will only be used for ___contracts etc. ___" MAKE THE PREFERRED NAME MANDATORY for all applications.
If you can get your company to list a donation they've made to a Trans supportive organization on the website is useful. Make the company put their money where their mouth is a good one is :
https://transgenderlawcenter.org/donate
THANK YOU BITCHES FOR DOING THIS! I HOPE Y'ALL GET SO MANY RESPONSES!!! And hopefully more advice!
This was a rollercoaster of emotions!!! Thank you so much for detailing your experiences as a transwoman in the workplace for Transgender Awareness Week. You answered our questions far better than I ever anticipated!
It is incredibly infuriating and demoralizing to hear about a talented person being chased out of an industry because of their identity. And I’m really glad you also mentioned how things might be different for a transwoman of color, rather than a white transwoman. Yet again, intersectional prejudice rears its ugly head!
Thank you so much for including a bit about how we cisgender people can really help in the workplace, especially the bit about listening to our trans coworkers’ needs and how everyone’s experiences are different.
Keep the stories coming, trans citizens of Bitch Nation! We want to hear all about how being trans has affected your money and career, how you’ve dealt with these difficulties, and how the rest of us can help.
Queer Finance 101: Ten Ways That Sexual and Gender Identity Affect Finances
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Look I did the thing. Went batshit with the blood because well blood. AND MY DUDES THIS IS UR CHANCE TO DRAW UR OC’S/MC’S AS GLADIATORS. HAND THEM OVER. @dela-png started this whole mess and well it’s time to jump on the bandwagon ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don’t make the rules sorry.
So this is gladiator Maeve! Her arena name is Belladonna after the plant. Beautiful but deadly. Schemed her outfit around the belladonna flowers and berries.
Her preferred weapon is a battle axe, she wields it well. Does pretty well with swords, hand to hand, spears, and javelins. Doesn’t do well with throwing nets and shields, and hammers. Knives and daggers aren’t super smart to bring into the arena but she wields those like a second arm.
Decided on red Celtic warpaint to clash with her tattoos and match with blood. Some people call her Red Death because of the paint.
Stuff about her under da cut because it wouldn’t leave my brain while drawing (no spice! (for now) might make a separate post with it if this goes over well lol)
How she got dragged into this mess plus general facts:
Was a plague doctor
key word being was
Planned on smuggling some items away from the bonfire (family pictures and heirlooms) for people because she wanted to
Someone ratted her out and she got caught
Fought off the guards best she could and killed three
Killing three of his guards caught Lucio’s attention and he decided to put her to work in the coliseum
He lopped her hair off as a punishment. Went berserk and he set her loose in the coliseum
Quickly became a favourite due to her military experience and how she isn’t a general pain in Lucio’s ass
She still is sometimes though
He tried to parade her around like a prize after her first victory and she went feral. Absolutely animalistic. Clawed someone’s eyes out and had to be restrained and put into a solitary cell for a month
Is known for being animalistic. Paces around her cell a lot like a caged wolf. Will snarl at you, has bitten people. Snaps her teeth a lot. Very quiet
Get her to open up and she’s a bit softer. Skittish but softer
Sleeps a lot and will ignore and tune you out by sleeping. If she goes berserk her legs get chained to the wall (she hurts the guards and she doesn’t get fed. Other gladiators are a grey area)
ANGER ISSUES. Runs on spite, rage and instincts. Piss her off and you might not live to see the sun.
What she’s like in the arena
Not talkative outside the ring. Inside she’s cruel. No mercy. She’ll drag you, your family, your friends, anything she sees gets a reaction out of you. Angry people are stupid people and she goads you into charging at her.
She’s snarky.
A total bitch, but a badass bitch
BRUTAL WITH KILLING. People are there for a show and she’s gonna give them one. After her fights she’s always splattered in blood.
Lucio once tried to put her in heels. She took them off and fought barefoot, shoving the heel into her opponents eyes while maintain direct eye contact with Lucio as she twisted the heel.
He never put her in heels after that
Agile. Very fast. Flexible. Uses things to her advantage. She’s TINY. Has strangled someone to death by wrapping her legs around their neck.
Way stronger than she looks and is in tune with killing. After the first few weeks she stopped feeling remorse. She’s a trained killer. Trained from age 12 to age 18.
She is an ANIMAL. Will use anything to hurt you, nails, teeth, everything. Fights like a caged animal and won’t slow until it’s over
#the arcana#the arcana game#maeve#gladiator maeve#look#look dela created something great#gore(?)#I mean there's blood#and she's out for death#rest in MANY pieces her opponents#blood#my art#man I had fun with this#dela made something beautiful and im here for the ride
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puzzle; 6 (m)
➜ you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?
pairing: jungkook x (f) reader
genre: smut, angst, comedy; friends with benefits au; college au
warnings: lots of swearing, unprotected sex (use condoms y’all kids)
rating: 18+
word count: 13k wooohoooooo
A/N: i listened to the same 4 songs over and over again while writing and i think it kind of sets the mood for this chapter so hm if you guys like listening to music while reading here goes a small playlist:
Jungkook - If you (read the lyrics pls)
Whitesnake - Is This Love
BTS - Jamais Vu
Sam Smith - Lay Me Down
enjoy!
➜ Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!
« playlist »
“You’re acting weird.”
You finally look up when you hear this, just to see Hoseok frowning at you.
“I’m not.” You’re quick to say, shrugging.
“You’re really acting weird. Is everything okay?” Hoseok insists, crossing his arms.
Hoseok is not what bothers you the most, though, but another pair of eyes watching you like a hawk.
Jimin knows why you’re acting weird. Since that day at Joy’s house, he has been staring at you like this constantly - half judging, half worried.
It’s very annoying, to be honest.
“I’m just… a little bit stressed.” You admit, shrugging again. Fortunately, Hoseok isn’t as observant as Jimin, so he seems convinced.
“So, what did you guys want?” You ask, changing the topic. They came after you in the cafeteria while you have lunch after all.
“Ah! I almost forgot,” Hoseok starts. “You quit your job at the coffee shop, right?”
“Yes. It was way too stressful and my boss was a bitch.” You huff.
“So you’ll be free this weekend?” He asks. You nod, but if he’s about to invite you to a party or something, you’re ready to say no. “The thing is, you know that me and Jimin have this job as waiters, right? There’s a wedding this weekend and they’re needing staff. So, if you’re interested, you can come with us on Saturday night. The payment is decent and it’s just easy stuff to do.”
Your mood lightens up at this. “Yeah, sure! I’ll go. I really need money right now.”
Hoseok smiles and claps his hands together. “Alright! I’ll send you all the information later. They’ll give you a uniform, so don’t worry about clothes. I have to go now. Bye!”
He leaves.
Jimin stays.
You just keep eating quietly, Jimin’s heavy gaze on you, until you finally get annoyed.
“Jimin, what do you want?” You cross your arms and glare back.
Jimin slowly quirks one eyebrow. “Won’t you ask me if Jungkook’s going?”
“Why would I ask if he’s going or not?”
“Because you guys aren’t talking anymore.”
“Thank you so much for reminding me of this, Jimin."
He realised that he went a little too far just by seeing your clenched jaw and the anger in your eyes. Jimin sighs and shrugs. "Anyways, yes, Jungkook is going. But not to work as a waiter, he’ll take pictures instead.”
“So what?"
Jimin swipes his hand over his face and shakes his head as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing. "I think you’re so stupid. Both of you. My fucking God.”
“You know what, Jimin? That’s none of your business.” You finally get up and take the tray rather roughly, walking away without looking back.
Maybe you were a little too rude with Jimin, but he’s being unbearable these days.
It’s been one month since that day at Joy’s house - one month since you and Jungkook have been avoiding each other like the plague.
And maybe you were a little too rude with him because deep down, you know he’s right.
As usual.
tae: wyd?? 👀👀
you: working
tae: ??? didn’t u quit ur job
you: yea
you: it’s one night thing
you: i need the 💸💸
tae: oh
tae: ok
tae: i’ll ask later then
you: wAIT
you: ask what??????
tae: later
tae: u should work first~
you: but im curious
you: i can’t work if im curious >:(
tae: 🙊
you: tae????
you: taeeeeeeee
you: TAEHYUNG
He doesn’t reply anymore.
You groan, shoving your phone on your back pocket again, and leave the restroom. The guests hadn’t arrived yet since the wedding ceremony is still ongoing, but the kitchen is already a mess: people yelling orders, the delicious scent of good food in the air, cooks cooking (duh) and waiters getting ready. The boss has already given you the last instructions, but it’s not as if working in an event like this is a difficult task: serve the guests, smile, be polite, walk around the hall, try not to break the crystal glasses that cost more than what you can pay.
The hotel is pretty fancy, actually. You were expecting a smaller wedding. Not that this is a problem, of course. The only problem here are the heels that all women are forced to use; it’s not too high, but walking around endlessly the whole night in these will be painful for sure. The rest of the uniform is that standard - black pants, white button shirt, black vest and bow tie, hair tied in a perfect high bun, simple makeup.
You walk to the hall to make the last adjustments in the decoration. Pretty much everything is in place, so there isn’t much to do. The tables are organized, the floor is pristinely clean, the white flower bouquets are in place. A DJ will be in charge of music tonight.
You stand at the back of the hall, almost hidden, just to check your phone once more; no new texts. Now, you can’t stop thinking about what Taehyung wants to ask. He knows you’d get all curious. You and Taehyung have grown closer these days: late phone calls, endless texts, random memes at random times. You hadn’t gone on a proper date yet, though - and you don’t think you want to.
Taehyung is a nice guy and a good friend, but you don’t want to take things to the next level - even though this seems to be Taehyung’s intention since the beginning. He has been insisting in you for quite a long time now meanwhile all you do is keep a certain distance. You didn’t really give him any real hopes yet and you’re afraid that Taehyung might be reading your actions in the wrong way. Truth be told, it’ll be so shitty of you to keep his hopes high when you won’t go anywhere with this.
Your feelings are all messed up.
Because you shouldn’t even be feeling anything in the first place.
Ironically, you’ve never been friends with benefits with anyone before. You did have some fuck buddies in the past, though - but you were never friends with any of them. You never got involved with any of your actual friends. Sure, there was that night when drunk-you and drunk-Jimin made out at a party (you don’t talk about it), but at that time, you had just joined college and neither you nor Jungkook were close to Jimin yet, so it doesn’t really count. Also, you and Jimin never had sex - you just kissed, nothing more.
But of course dumb you had to be friends with benefits with your best fucking friend. Of course you had to destroy your friendship like that. Everyone knows that sex is a friendship destroyer. Everyone!
One month without Jungkook felt like being in the desert without rain. You have good friends, but none of them are that special person that’s somehow able to read you mind and understand you even if you don’t say anything. None of them know the type of meme you’d laugh at, none of them sent you random snaps at random times of the day. Worst of all - you didn’t watch Endgame together, when you’ve been watching every Marvel film together ever since you both started obsessing over heroes years ago. Every. Single. Marvel. Film.
You didn’t get to see Jungkook crying during the last scenes of Endgame. Jimin didn’t say if he cried or not, but you know he cried.
That’s devastating.
Truth be told, you don’t even miss sex. Sure, you and Jungkook are the perfect match in bed, and you caught yourself masturbating at night wishing it were Jungkook’s fingers inside of you instead (touching yourself has never been so depressing), but what you actually miss to the point it hurts your chest are the small, familiar things. The comfortable silence. The funny banter. Going to Burger King together late at night after a party or when none of you want to cook. Showing each other funny videos or discussing about the latest chapter of the manga you’re both reading. Jungkook ignoring your texts for hours because he’s too focused on playing Overwatch. You even miss the way he never lets you eat the last slice of pizza, goddammit.
You simply miss him.
What leads you to another thought - something that has been growing stronger in your mind.
After days of self denial, you finally admitted that you were jealous of Jungkook and Joy.
There’s no other explanation for the way you acted that day at her house. You were mad that she was touching him and getting too close. That’s weird. You’ve never really been the jealous type. You never minded when people tried to flirt with Jungkook.
You’re not jealous of friends.
Even so, you had a jealousy attack and didn’t rest until Jungkook’s attention was yours again.
Being totally honest with yourself, you’ve been jealous of Joy ever since you found out she was interested in him.
…what the fuck?
Something inside of you have changed, and only now you’re brave enough to admit. Somewhere along the road, you stopped seeing Jungkook as just a friend. He’s currently in that blurry and confusing level - not only a friend, but at the same time, not more than a friend. You don’t know what the fuck he is anymore.
More importantly… do you want to be more than friends?
If you and Jungkook make up, will you be able to go back to what it was - just friends?
Or are you just being possessive? Did you start seeing him in a different way just because you realized you’re about to lose him?
You don’t know the answer to none of those questions. What you know at the moment is that being away from him fucking hurts. You have the same friends, go to the same places, study at the same university, but barely see each other anymore. What’s that thing people say? You just start valuing things after you lose them.
Jimin asked you not to play with Jungkook’s feelings. What he doesn’t know, though, is that you’re so confused about yours that you don’t have time to play with his feelings.
When you realize the guests are about to come, you force your brain to focus on your current task. You stand back with the rest of the waiters as, slowly, the elegant guests get into the hall, sitting at their respective tables, and soon the place is filled with conversation, laughter and music.
After everyone took their places, the main couple finally come.
The lights change. The DJ plays a special song. Guests stand up and applaud when they enter the hall, smiling, and walk to the center to have their first dance as a married couple.
You could have noticed how the bride’s dress was beautiful. You could have noticed how her front teeth was dirty with lipstick and how the groom tried to discreetly tell her about this. You could have even noticed how one of the kids was starting to have a tantrum and his mother half-screamed, half-whispered, if you don’t be quiet you’ll be grounded for one month!
But you don’t notice any of that, because the photographer enters the hall right after the couple does.
Your heart flutters in a funny way.
Jungkook is wearing a suit (you don’t even remember the last time you saw him in a suit); black and simple, but it fits him so well. He isn’t much different from all the other man, except for his long hair - his black hair is so long he can probably tie it now - and his ear piercings. He holds his camera to eye level, capturing every moment he can from the couple’s first dance, a backpack with other tools hanging from his shoulder.
Everyone else is focusing on the couple - but you can’t look at anything else but him.
He looks so handsome and focused and hot and-
Hey, you’re here to work!, you remind yourself angrily, shaking your head and walking back to the kitchen.
Drink after drink, tray after tray - you and the other waiters and waitresses walk around the hall to serve the guests. It’s not a difficult work, but still tiring nevertheless. It’s also hard to balance yourself and the trays with these high heels. Soon, you’re immersed in the work and momentarily forget about everything else, although (unconsciously) you try to avoid being seen by a specific someone.
Time passes by and the party goes on. Parents make heartfelt speeches, everyone cries. The DJ plays popular songs and soon the dancefloor is full. Alcohol already starts to get into their heads. Men are either speaking and laughing too loud or crying, hugging the groom. Women already forgot their high heels and their elegance, twerking shamelessly and screaming. Kids do the usual - run, yell, fall and cry - and they almost throw you on the ground twice. Someone spills champagne on the floor; you rush to clean it before someone ends up slipping. There’s the eventual noise of glass breaking. A certain dude has asked for your help far too much and you start to avoid him, noticing that he’s staring at your ass. Another guest pukes and is taken to the infirmary. As usual, you hear old women complaining about the food, how the decoration is ugly, how one waiter was rude, how the DJ doesn’t play the songs they want-
“The photographer is so hot! What’s his name?!” You hear someone giggling.
You gulp.
Jungkook is just doing his job, but that boy can’t go unnoticed, not even when he tries. You don’t know if he saw you yet, and honestly, you hope he didn’t.
Just do your job. Just do your job.
The night goes on. Your left foot hurts and you need to pee, but gladly most of the guests have already left - the groom and bride left first and the party went on without them -, the hall is almost empty, which means it’s almost ending. Now, you busy yourself with cleaning the hall.
“Man, I’m dead,” Hoseok groans, stretching his back. You nod, putting some empty glasses on a tray to take them back to the kitchen.
“Now imagine bearing it all in heels,” you say, not being able to keep your nice posture anymore. Not that there are many guests anyway - most are too drunk or sleeping on the tables. The DJ is still diligently playing, though.
“The night was productive after all,” Jimin chirps happily, approaching you two with a smug grin on his lips. You see he’s holding a small paper between his fingers… someone’s phone number.
“Son of a bitch,” you say under your breath. Jimin just shrugs and smirks. Much obviously, you apologized for your rudeness before you came. The fact that he forgave you so easily made everything worse, honestly. Jimin is a nice guy with his friends (way too nice for his own good sometimes) and it just shows how he doesn’t deserve to be treated in a rude way.
“I’m just taking the chances life gives me!” He chirps again, making you roll your eyes.
“Anyways, what’s wrong with Jungkook?” Hoseok wonders, crossing his arms and frowning. “He didn’t come over the entire night. Is he avoiding us?”
You gulp.
Instantly, your eyes travel to where he stands in the nearly-empty dance floor. He smiles politely to some women that stand around him. Everyone’s obviously too drunk and they’re probably talking nonsense.
He’s avoiding me, you realize sadly.
“He’s working, Hoseok. His job won’t end if the guests keep asking for pictures.” Jimin is quick to say, what indeed makes sense, but Jimin also knows very well why he has been keeping his distance. Hoseok is the only one that doesn’t notice the strange tension in the air.
When you notice you’ve been staring for an embarrassing long time, you immediately shift your gaze to the dirty plates in front of you, organizing them in a pile to take them to the kitchen. You came here to work. That’s it. Focus-
An excited scream tears the air.
“I loooove this song!” One of the girls on the dance floor scream, the one that has been clinging on Jungkook ever since the crowd started to dissipate. Much obviously tipsy, her eyes were glued on him the entire night (not that you’ve been noticing the people checking him out. Of course not). “Jungkookie, dance with me!”
You almost gasp.
Jungkookie?!
That’s when you finally notice the face Jungkook is making - and you try your best not to laugh.
He has that look that means oh my fucking God someone please take me out of this situation.
The two boys by your side don’t try to hide the laughter as well as you, watching the desperate Jungkook try to turn her offer down - an awkward smile, eyes shifting from her, a muttered apology (I still have some work to do…) but the thirsty girl is surprisingly insistent (you can stop for a little bit, come on!).
“I feel sorry for him,” Hoseok almost chokes as he tries to stop his giggles. You kind of feel sorry, too. He can’t be rude to a customer, otherwise he’d be punched by her relatives - not that Jungkook would be rude anyway. He steps back, scratches the back of his neck. The girl is almost climbing him. He looks around desperately, trying to find a way to escape-
“Why don’t you help him, Y/N?” Jimin says sweetly.
You side eye the sugar-coated snake you call friend. “Jimin.” Is all you say in a warning manner.
Someone that doesn’t understand the situation wouldn’t think anything weird, because you’re actually used to save Jungkook from crazy girls. The thing is, sometimes he’s too nice to turn girls down - and yes, girls do chase him. When he’s not interested in them, you’d usually understand the situation and run on his rescue, most times pretending to be his girlfriend so the girls would stop bothering him. It’s something funny and you’d always laugh your asses off right after.
Not now.
You definitely don’t want to laugh now.
Jimin is being far from innocent. He just wants to push you two into each other. He may have good intentions, but he’s not considering the fact that you don’t feel ready to face Jungkook - not when your feelings are so messed up. This ain’t happening.
“Yeah, Y/N. Jungkook looks pretty desperate,” Hoseok remarks, again, oblivious to the tension lingering in the air.
“Jungkook can handle himself very well. He doesn’t need my help.” Even though Jimin feels your menacing glare and sees your jaw clench, this boy is very brave and insists:
“Come on, Y/N! It won’t hurt.” He says innocently.
Yes, it will hurt. It already hurts, dumbass.
“Did you guys forget that we’re here to work? I don’t want to be reprimanded.”
“The hall is near empty. There’s literally nothing to do anymore.” Hoseok doesn’t understand why you’re glaring at him now.
You’re trying to control your nerves, but it’s getting hard not to feel your stomach jump in a weird way and your fingertips tremble. Just the idea of approaching him makes you weak, and not in a good way. Why these people can’t just leave you alone?!
“Do you think that avoiding him forever will work?” Jimin hisses on your ear, low enough so only you can listen, finally showing how pissed he really is.
What he says gets you.
Avoiding each other isn’t working, you know this very well. You remember the way you used to deal with things in the past - talking. Sure, you won’t be able to really talk right now, but at least you’ll have a chance to approach him.
You don’t want to. You really don’t. But at the same time, you want to. You miss Jungkook.
Besides, he can’t run away from you in this situation.
You take a deep breath and gulp, trying to ease the tension. Come on. I know Jungkook. He’s the same bastard I’ve known my whole life. Stop being a pussy. I’m not a pussy!
“Just to make clear,” you whisper back to Jimin. “I fucking hate you.”
“You love me.” You wish you could rip that triumphant smirk off his face.
You walk over to the dance floor.
The few couples dance slowly and intimately. Because of course it had to be a slow dance. Of course it had to be a romantic song. Haha. Of course. The Universe must be playing some trick on you.
Jungkook managed to run away from the girl, trying to hide in the corner of the hall, and she’s searching for him like a hawk. You wonder if she’s this drunk or if she’s just stupid. A guy literally running away from you isn’t already a message enough?
You walk quickly to where he stands, and the moment Jungkook turns around and lays his eyes on you, shock covers his features.
“Y/N-?”
“Quick, dance with me,” you say hurriedly, placing his hands on your waist. “She’s coming.”
Instead of questioning, Jungkook immediately starts to play along as you place your own hands on his shoulders. You discreetly watch when the girl finally finds you.
She stops on her tracks.
“She saw us?” He asks without looking back.
“Yes.”
“And?”
You see fire in her eyes.
“If she had a gun, she’d probably shoot me.” The girl looks outraged that you stole her chance to grind on him. “Oh, she’s turning away.”
Jungkook sighs in relief. “Thanks God. She’s been bothering me all night!” You can’t help but giggle.
For a millisecond, it feels like nothing has changed.
But then you look at each other for the first time.
It might be dramatic, but you almost feel that the temperature drops around you.
Oh shit.
You avoid each other’s gazes at the same time. It feels so tremendously awkward to be in front of him again - especially when you’re slow dancing in the dim light of the hall, almost hidden. It feels uncomfortably intimate. Especially because you’re both keeping a distance that normal couples wouldn’t. You probably look like a weird couple at a prom party that were forced to dance together.
It feels foreign.
The way you touch each other doesn’t feel right. You have touched each other in the most intimate and obscene ways, yet the simple touch of his hands on your waist doesn’t feel right. Despite this, you feel your blood boiling with a strange type of excitement; you missed him so damn much. Even in this uncomfortable situation, you can’t help but feel a little bit happy. You didn’t know you’ve been craving for his touch so much up until now.
What’s weird is that you don’t even feel like this in a sexual way. You’re not aroused. Considering how your relationship became strictly sexual these past months, your lack of arousal to be around him is weird.
The butterflies in your stomach and the way your hands are shaking a little bit is also weird.
For some moments, you just sway from side to side in an overwhelming silence. You have no choice but to listen intently to the song being played. As if you already don’t feel fucked up enough, you’re forced to listen to a love song - an 80s love song on top of that. Of course it has to be Is This Love by Whitesnake. Of course. Haha.
“Uhm… thanks.” Jungkook finally breaks the silence. His voice lacks confidence. He probably never talked to you like this.
“Just helping out a friend,” you say and instant regret smashes you. You don’t know if he’s still your friend.
Jungkook looks scarily annoyed for a second. “A friend. Sure.”
Is it inappropriate to notice how he looks handsome when he clenches his jaw?
Honestly, has Jungkook always been this handsome?
Sure, he has always been like this. Maybe not seeing him in a long time made you feel this way. His hair has grown a lot. He looks extra fine in this suit. Every man looks better in a suit, but Jungkook looks like a deity.
The butterflies in your stomach are going crazy.
You did miss him a lot.
The silence makes you pay attention to the song again.
Wasted days and sleepless nights
But I can’t wait to see you again…
Hah, I know how it feels, you think - what makes you widen your eyes, shocked with your own thoughts. No. You won’t suddenly relate to a cliche 80s love song.
Right?
“H-How’s school going?” You stutter. Are you trying to do small talk? For real?
“It’s doing fine,” he simply says. Oh fuck. Not good. He sounds so uninterested in your weak attempt at engaging a conversation it hurts. You came here to try and talk about what really matters, but you don’t feel ready to do it yet. Can’t he understand it?!
It looks like your presence bothers him, honestly.
That’s new.
Wow. Your heart suddenly feels clenched.
Awkward.
Why am I feeling this way?
A heavy silence weighs on you again. This isn’t going as planned - not that you planned anything in the first place. You’re going through a lot of weird sensations now.
Why is that?
You look at Jungkook timidly (timid and Jungkook are two words that used to not make any sense together in the past), but he doesn’t look back. You avoid his gaze again.
Being hit by a truck would hurt less.
What’s happening?
Why are you so damn confused?
When the song hits its chorus, you start to think the Universe is definitely playing with you. The deep voice of the singer floats in the air:
Is this love
That I’m feeling?
Is this the love
That I’ve been searching for?
Fuck you, Whitesnake.
For real.
Fuck. You.
“Did Taehyung ask you?”
This brings you back to reality in an instant.
“What?” You look at him, confused. Why is he talking about Taehyung of all people out of nowhere?
You’ve always been very good at reading Jungkook, but right now, he’s unreadable.
“So he didn’t.” He says blatantly, devoid of any emotion. “I thought he would have already.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He talked to me about a double date.” Jungkook replies, looking back at you for the first time - again, a blank face. “You and him, me and Joy.”
Your blood honestly feels like frost.
It’s like you lost the ability to move or talk for a moment. You blink and gulp, trying to keep composed.
“What? Why?”
“Because he said it’d be fun. And less awkward, since I’m not very close to Joy yet and you’re not very close to him.”
Again, you don’t say anything for long seconds.
“But we’d just be cockblocking each other during the whole date,” you say.
“I know. I think the idea of a double date sounds weird, too. It’s not as if we don’t know them.”
You remember what Taehyung texted you earlier today; he said he’d ask something later. Is he going to ask you out?
He thinks that, since you and Jungkook are best friends, you could ease the tension and even help each other out.
This is so fucked up.
The immediate answer that comes to your mind is no. You don’t want to go on a date with Taehyung when you’re not interested in him. It’d be cruel; you don’t want to keep his hopes high.
But as you’re about to say it, you stop.
What if Jungkook wants to go?
All this time, you’ve only been considering your feelings. Your confusion, your wishes - it’s always about you. You don’t know if you want to be just Jungkook’s friend, but you don’t know if he wants to be more than a friend - or if he wants to be your friend at all. The fuck buddies thing started because you asked. Not even once did you think about him.
Is this what Jimin meant when he asked you to not play with Jungkook’s feelings?
How selfish you’ve been acting all this time?
What if he’s been developing feelings for Joy and now decided to try something? He’s probably feeling hurt because you’ve not been acting like a good friend. You’re always putting yourself first.
That’s why you hear yourself asking:
“Do you want to go?”
It’s scary how every tiny little piece of you wishes he’ll say no.
But Jungkook tilts his head and says:
“Yes. I know it sounds weird, but we can part ways as soon as we get there.”
And this is the moment you feel as cold as you’ve never felt in your life.
It’s as if your ears got obstructed for a moment, because you can’t hear anything but your heartbeat. You can’t even see properly for a second. Yet, you ignore all that, gulp and nod.
It’s time to be a good friend for once.
It’s time to put Jungkook’s wishes first - even though it crushes your heart.
“Okay.” You say quietly.
You’re coming to the conclusion that you’re a walking disaster.
You’ve never been so nervous before a date in your life - but this is not the usual type of nervousness, when people are excited to meet their crush and impress them etc etc. You’re nervous because you don’t want to go. You thought of coming up with a thousand excuses (from the classical “I’m sick :(” to “Seulgi’s sick I gotta take care of her :(” to “my cat’s sick :(” but then you remembered you don’t have a cat to “I’m being chased by the police and I gotta leave the country :(”), but in the end, you couldn’t bring yourself to lie.
Not when Taehyung sounded so painfully happy when you said you’d go.
That’s why you should have said no: Taehyung doesn’t deserve this. He’s a good person and he will certainly get hurt when you tell him you’re not interested. Who cares about Jungkook? That fucker can go on a date by himself, he’s not a kid anymore.
But…
There’s something very tiny and mean inside of you called jealousy that didn’t let you simply text an honest apology to Taehyung.
And now it’s too late, because he’s standing at your door.
Handsome as always, Taehyung wears casual clothes: it’s almost as if he didn’t put much thought on it, but he still looks drop dead gorgeous on his black baggy pants, white shirt and black beret (no other man in this planet can manage to not look stupid in a beret other than Taehyung). As usual, your brain malfunctions as it tries to process his beauty.
He has a small, beautiful smile on his lips.
Shit.
“You look beautiful,” he says, and he sounds like he means it. You did put some effort on your clothes, makeup and hair after all. Being complimented by him feels nice.
Shit.
“Thanks. You too, but that’s just your usual self,” you say thoughtlessly and instant regret slaps your face again. Yes, bitch. Flirt with him. Make things more difficult.
Taehyung looks shy for a moment. The sight is endearing.
S. H. I. T.
“You’re just being nice to me.” He tilts his head. “So, let’s go?"
It’s too late to go back now, so you have no choice but to take his arm and show your most plastic smile. "Yeah.”
You’re definitely a walking disaster.
You two arrive in the park first and, instead of just showing your tickets and getting in, you’re forced to wait for the bastard and his hot date.
An amusement park of all places.
Not that you hate amusement parks, it’s pretty much the opposite. It’s just that everything feels so wrong. Especially how Taehyung is making a lot of effort to keep the conversation alive while you wait. It’s not hard to talk to him, though, because he’s an interesting person, but seeing his efforts hurts.
What hurts more is the sight of Jungkook and Joy arriving with locked arms.
You hope Taehyung didn’t notice you holding your breath.
Joy looks hot as always, but you don’t even look at her (yes, it’s not nice to be mad at someone that didn’t do anything wrong), eyes glued on Jungkook instead. Just like Taehyung, it seems that he didn’t put much thought on his clothes, only their styles are completely different: Jungkook wears an oversized grey t-shirt, black pants and sneakers. It might seem simple, but he can manage to look good in anything. Joy surely didn’t mind his choice of clothes.
You lock gazes for one second and proceed to avoid it.
The four of you greet. It’s hard to act natural, but you try to; you don’t want the two others to notice the weird tension between you and the black-haired bastard. Joy looks happy, too.
…
Shit.
Soon, you get into the amusement park. As expected, it’s crowded with kids, families and couples. The weather feels nice this afternoon.
“It’s been a long time since I don’t come to an amusement park,” you confess.
“Really? Then this was a good choice. I was worried if it’d be too cheesy…” he also confesses sheepishly.
“It’s not!” You reassure him. Joy agrees with you. Jungkook keeps silent. “I just have some traumatizing memories about amusement parks.”
Taehyung quirks one eyebrow. “What?”
You sigh.
You and Jungkook end up saying in unison:
“5th grade.”
You look at each other and avoid your gazes again.
“What? What happened on 5th grade?” Joy asks excitedly.
“Our school came to an amusement park that year,” Jungkook explains.
“Why was it traumatizing?” Taehyung still seems confused.
“Because… well…” you hesitate to say.
“Because she was so short back then that they didn’t let her go on the rollercoasters. And she cried the whole trip,” Jungkook suddenly says.
You glare at him.
He has a playful smirk on his lips.
“Oh, so what about you?” You can’t help but smile, too.
“What happened to him?” Joy asks.
“He laughed at me because I couldn’t ride, but he puked his lunch after he went on the coaster and spent half of the trip in the infirmary,” you reveal.
“You’re still bitter that you stayed with me in the infirmary?” He inquires.
“Of course I am! Also, you puked on my shoes!”
“I already apologized. Besides, I paid you banana milk for two entire weeks. Isn’t it enough?”
“It isn’t!”
“Are you saying that banana milk isn’t enough?!” He gasps. “You psycho.”
You both giggle.
Again, for one moment, it feels that everything is back to normal. You feel comfortable having these old memories, as if you never stopped being best friends, as if you have the intimacy to play like this again.
But it’s only for one moment.
You avoid gazes. It feels so out of place.
At least the sadness in Jungkook’s eyes shows that he feels the same about this all.
Before the tension between you two can become too strong, you change the topic and engage both Taehyung and Joy in the conversation - during that moment, you two forgot about them. As wrong as it is, Taehyung is your date for the night. He’s the one you should pay attention to.
So you try to completely ignore Jungkook’s existence for a while.
You only look at Taehyung and don’t even touch your phone. You answer his questions and ask things about him. It doesn’t feel like a punishment, though, because he is an interesting person and you genuinely enjoy his company.
But you can’t help but look at Jungkook from time to time.
You can’t help but notice his smiley-eyes as he looks at her. You can’t help but see their closure.
You can’t help but feel your heart clenching.
And then, you see yourself locking your arm with Taehyung’s.
“What’s that?” You say excitedly. “I wanna see it!”
You drag Taehyung away from the other couple until they disappear in the crowd. Only then you remember how to breathe again.
Considering all the odds, this going better than you expected.
You tried your best to completely erase Jungkook’s and Joy’s existence from your mind, and at some point it finally worked. Taehyung is a funny guy to be around. There’s something very particular and endearing about his personality that captivates you; he’s obviously trying to impress you, but he’s still being very honest. He has some type of innocence that makes you realize that this guy is seriously one of a kind. You can’t think of a single sign that he might be a bad person.
You’re genuinely enjoy this.
But not in the way Taehyung expects you to be enjoying it.
As wrong as it is, you unconsciously end up comparing him to Jungkook.
If Jungkook was your date, the first thing you’d both want to do is try all the rollercoasters and the wildest rides in this park. But Taehyung is scared of heights. You didn’t want to make the boy vomit his own stomach, so you ended up avoiding it - even though you really wanted to go on that orange coaster that looks high as fuck.
Taehyung didn’t really get your jokes. The fact that he still laughed politely is cute, but still - Jungkook and you have the same sense of humor. You two like the same stupid type of meme. It felt strange when you had to explain more than once a certain joke so Taehyung could understand.
Taehyung didn’t know your favorite ice cream flavor or your favorite soda. He doesn’t know the kind of movie you like, nor your favorite series, nor your favorite singers. You know you’re being stupid - the whole point of going on a date is to get to know each other, but every now and then you end up remembering how Jungkook knows every dumb detail about you…
What makes you realize that, as much as Taehyung is an amazing guy, you are too different from each other.
What also makes you realize that, maybe… you don’t really want to get to know anyone else.
And suddenly, an image starts to build in your mind - an image you try very hard to erase, but it’s already too strong to be forgotten.
Instead of Taehyung, you arm is locked with Jungkook’s. You’re both laughing and having fun, just like things used to be. Only now you’re not just friends.
It’s the first time in all these years that you see yourself dating Jungkook clearly. Painfully clearly.
The cotton candy you’re eating suddenly tastes like iron on your tongue. You feel your throat tightening. All of this became painful. The fact that you’re trying so hard to forget Jungkook for a few minutes, yet he’s everything you can think of. The fact that he’s in the same park as you having a date with another girl - said girl that is a friend, by the way, someone you encouraged to be with Jungkook, and now you’re hating her existence even though she did nothing wrong, all because of jealousy. There’s also the fact that Jungkook is much obviously avoiding you.
And the most painful fact of all-
“Are you okay, YN?” Taehyung asks, the smile vanishing from his lips the moment he sees your expression.
The fact that this incredible person likes you much more than you expected. It’s obvious now that you look at his eyes. He really likes you - a funny, smart and special guy, someone that didn’t check his phone not even once ever since this date started, someone that has been trying his hardest to make sure you’re having fun, a guy that is usually very confident, but at the moment looks very uneasy around you.
He’s the perfect guy. He wasn’t disrespectful, wasn’t trying to get into your pants, treated you very well. You went on dates that were far worse than this. There was nothing wrong with him. You’re also sure he’d be a loving and caring boyfriend.
But all you can think of is Jungkook.
And even though you knew this date wouldn’t work, you still accepted to come anyway. You kept Taehyung’s hopes high. Just because you were jealous.
You’re definitely the worst person on this planet.
But this has to end before Taehyung gets more hurt.
“I’m not feeling very well,” you hear yourself saying. Worry covers Taehyung’s features. “What’s the problem? Was it something you ate? Do you want to go to the infirmary?”
Damn. It hurts to see him like this.
“No. Can you… can you just take me home, please?” You ask sheepishly.
If Taehyung feels disappointed, he doesn’t let you see; he just nods instead. “Okay. Let’s go.”
And this is how you managed to destroy a perfectly fine night.
You still try not to think of Jungkook and Joy on your way back home; you don’t want to know if they’re still in the park or if they went somewhere else. The idea of what they must be doing makes your stomach twirl in a bad way. It feels like a weight installed itself on your shoulders. Everything seems too oppressive and suffocating. You can’t wait to be alone and peaceful to process all of these feelings. Fortunately, Seulgi isn’t home - she went to sleep at a friend’s house to finish a project.
For the first time, being with Taehyung feels awkward as you walk to the front door of your apartment. You can see he isn’t exactly glad. It makes everything worse.
You stop in front of the door and you turn around to face him. Everything you have to say must be said now.
“I’m so sorry, Taehyung.” You say in an embarrassed tone, scratching the back of your neck. “I ruined everything.”
“What? No!” He’s quick to reassure. God, his eyes are beautiful… “It’s not your fault. People feel ill, that’s normal.”
You gulp. Oh Gosh. He believed what you said. This is getting worse and worse… “I had a lot of fun today. Really.” You sigh and tilt your head tiredly. “Honestly, it was the most fun I had in a long time…”
“I had a lot of fun, too.” His smile is able to melt any frozen heart. “I noticed that you had a lot in mind, so I’m glad I was able to distract you at least a little.”
It gets you off guard.
He’s way more observant than you expected.
“You noticed…?” You gulp, even more embarrassed. He nods. “I’m so sorry…”
“It’s fine. Everyone has a bad day every now and then. I just have to admit that I’m kind of worried about you.”
You stare at each other in silence for a while.
“Are you?” Why suddenly all you can do is make stupid questions?
Taehyung tilts his head. “Yes. You’re always such a bright person. Seeing you being quiet these days makes me sad.” First of all: did people start to realize that there’s something wrong with you? Are you acting this weird?
Second of all: that was adorable. He’s so honest about his feelings.
“To be honest, Taehyung… I’m not really a bright person,” you end up confessing in a quiet, weak voice. You don’t know why you’re saying this. You were supposed to push him away, not pull him closer. “I think I’m just used to pretend I am.”
“You don’t have to,” your eyes widen when you feel his fingertips brushing on your cheek as he gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “You don’t have to pretend you’re fine when you’re not. To suppress this type of feeling… it hurts. Believe me, I know.” For a moment, you feel your breath hitch. The skin where his fingers touched feels warm. He’s mesmerizing. His voice sounds like a sweet melody on your ears: deep, silky. “So, if you ever feel like opening up… I’m here, okay?” He widens his eyes for a second. “I-I mean- you can open up to Seulgi or Jungkook or Jimin, sure… anyone.”
This moment of shyness coming from him makes you giggle. “I don’t feel like opening up to anyone right now,” especially not to you, you think. “but thank you, Tae. It… it makes me really happy. I’m glad I went on this date with you.”
You shouldn’t have said that.
You shouldn’t have called him Tae.
Even though you’re saying the truth and there’s no second intentions hidden, Taehyung hears something else.
His hand is still resting on your cheek.
And he says nothing.
He just… stares right into your eyes.
You can’t move.
You clearly see when his face starts coming closer and closer to yours, slowly but surely. You see his heavy-lidded eyes, his clouded gaze, his parted lips. You feel the thick tension in the air around you - the electricity.
That’s when you should have pushed him away.
But you can’t.
Instead, you unconsciously close your eyes. You feel his lips ghosting over yours for a second - until his lips finally touch yours.
The kiss is suave - gentle and delicate. He doesn’t move his lips at first, merely pressing his against yours. Your body warms up in a way you haven’t felt in a long time; not because of arousal. It’s the pure excitement of being kissed.
Maybe that’s why you let him kiss you. You had forgotten how it feels like to be touched without any sexual intention. Kisses are too intimate, so you and Jungkook didn’t really kiss that often - and when you did kiss, it was always heated and obscene, tongues entangling wildly until both of you could barely breathe. It’s been a long time since someone kissed and held you like this: with gentleness and care. Taehyung isn’t treating you like a sex toy.
You melt.
Your lips part as he deepens the kiss; he is undemanding, careful and delicate. His lips taste like lip balm. No one is fighting for control, no one is desperate. It’s slow and synchronized. It’s sweet and innocent. Most importantly - it’s way different than you ever expected it to be. You never thought he’d kiss like this.
When Taehyung pulls away, the purest smile adorns his features.
“I’m sorry.” He says quietly, but he doesn’t sound sorry at all. “I should have asked permission.”
“It’s okay.” And it really is. You shouldn’t, but you liked it.
“I'll… I’ll get going.” He says, the smile never disappearing. His eyes are also smiling. He stands there awkwardly in an adorable manner. “Can I text you later?”
“Sure.” You nod. “Good night. And thank you again.”
Taehyung grins. “Good night.”
Before leaving, he presses his lips on yours quickly one last time.
You watch until he disappears inside the elevator, entering the apartment and standing there alone in the dark for a few seconds.
Then you unceremoniously slam your forehead against the wooden door.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You hiss between gritted teeth. “What have you done?!”
You were supposed to push him away. You should have told him the truth - that you don’t have feelings for him, that you’re confused and almost certainly in love with another guy. Instead, you just stood there and let him kiss you. You not only kept his hopes high, you increased them.
How will you get yourself out of this situation now?!
You throw yourself on the couch, grab a cushion and scream into it. I’m the worst of the worst. I’m a walking catastrophe.
For a long time, you just lay there and torture yourself with bad thoughts. Taehyung is the nicest guy you’ve met in a really long time. If you gave him the opportunity months ago, you’re sure you’d be dating right now - and the idea isn’t even unpleasant. He’s hot and smart and funny and sweet. It’s even hard to believe that someone like him is interested in you.
But…
No. Don’t think about him.
You want to punch yourself and scream and eat tons of ice cream and cry - all at once. You’re the queen of taking bad decisions. You’re the heart crusher and friendship destroyer-
There’s someone knocking on the front door.
You sit up in a jump and frown. Is it Seulgi? Did she forget her keys?
You walk slowly around the living room, defeated as if you’ve just came home from war, your hair a mess and shoulders shrinking. You turn the doorknob and open it-
And gasp.
Because standing at your front door is the person you least expected to see.
Jungkook is casually leaning on the door frame as if his presence didn’t make you burst a lung. He looks down, eyes avoiding yours; although the hallway is considerably dark, you can see his expression well. You know him too well. You see sadness and guilt and fear in his eyes.
Your heart beats so fast that you’re afraid it’ll stop suddenly. Nervousness crawls over your skin and makes your stomach feel cold.
“J-Jungkook? What are you doing here?” You’re brave enough to stutter. You completely forgot that Jungkook used to come over so often that you gave him full permission to enter and leave the building whenever he wanted.
He doesn’t say anything.
Instead, he lifts his left hand and shows you what he’s carrying: a plastic bag full with a pack of…
Banana milk.
“I think we really need to talk.” He says quietly, his eyes meeting yours for the first time.
You inhale sharply.
He’s right. You need to talk.
The cold night breeze makes you tighten your coat around your body. Yours and Jungkook’s hairs sway softly with the wind. You can hear the sounds of the city from up here, in the empty terrace - cars, sirens, voices. A glowing map of endless streets and buildings extends itself in front of your eyes.
You’re both leaning on the railing side by side. You’re hyper aware of the distance between you - both physical and… spiritual. You’ve been standing here in silence for quite some time now, quietly drinking the banana milk he brought, and none of you were able to engage a conversation. The tension is heavy. It overwhelms your whole being. Nervousness makes your nerves tense. You can’t even look at him.
Dozens of questions float around your mind; what is he doing here? Why did he decide to come in the first place? What happened to his date? It’s still very early, he could have stayed with her much longer…
You also can’t help but feel helplessly excited that he is here. With you. Not with Joy. He took the initiative to meet you.
You can’t lose this opportunity.
“It’s kinda cold.” Is the first thing you say. It doesn’t even sound like you.
“Yeah.” He agrees, and he also doesn’t sound like him.
The awkwardness is almost solid right now. Things used to be so different… you can’t remember one moment in the past when such an uncomfortable feeling lingered between you.
“Hm…” you cough. “What, hm… what about you and Joy?”
Why the fuck are you asking this?, you yell at yourself.
Jungkook looks down and shakes his head. “Let’s not talk about Joy or Taehyung right now, okay?”
You shrug. “I’m just trying to start a conversation.”
“That’s not how you do it.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to do it anymore.”
Jungkook goes silent with this, the quick aggressiveness disappearing as soon as it came. He gulps and looks down at the banana milk between his fingers again.
More silence.
“Can I… can I ask you something?” Jungkook says after a long while. His voice is quiet, hesitant, almost being carried away with the wind.
“What?” You feel your body heating up in anticipation.
He finally looks up to you, and in the moment your eyes meet, you have this weird feeling that everything except him looks blurred.
“Why did you start dating Mike?” He asks. “I warned you about him. I mean, you used to listen to me in the past.”
Oh.
Certainly not the type of question you were expecting.
What a mood killer, Jungkook.
You avoid his gaze again, trying to hide your disappointment. “Why are you asking me this now?”
“I just really want to know.” He takes one more sip of the banana milk.
A sigh escapes through your lips and you stare at the shiny city ahead. You didn’t think you’d have to bring up memories of Mike. It’s been a long time, but it still hurts to remember him.
“I… I just…” you start, trying to organize your thoughts. “You know that Mike had like a… bad relationship with his parents, right?” Jungkook nods. “Mike opened up about this to me. I saw how much it hurt him. He was lonely, broken. And I…” this is being way harder than you expected. You shrug, shake your head. “I don’t know. I was just being my stupid self. I thought I could… I wanted to fix him. I realized that I have this heroine complex, you know?” You side eye him sheepishly. “But there are a lot of things I can’t fix… I’m better at breaking things, not fixing them.”
“Don’t say that. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help people.” The confidence in which Jungkook says this makes, yet again, an odd sensation set in your stomach.
It is probably the first time Jungkook managed to make you blush in your entire life.
A little more silence.
“Did you actually like him?” You can barely hear his voice.
You have no idea why he’s making this questions. Why is he bringing up Mike after so long?
“Well… yes.” You can’t lie right now. “I did.” You make sure to reinforce the did. It’s in the past.
Jungkook nods and says nothing. He takes another banana milk from the plastic bag and opens it.
You inhale, building up your courage to ask something you’ve been wanting to know for a long time. He touched this subject anyway.
“You asked me something, now it’s my turn to ask you something.” Jungkook nods. You have the feeling that he already knows what’s coming. “Why did you break up with Yeri?”
“She broke up with me.”
Oh.
“Why?” You repeat. You can see that Jungkook gets clearly uncomfortable, but you’re not letting him go without an answer - and he already knows how stubborn you can be, too. He shifts, tilts his head, exhales heavily.
“It just didn’t work out.”
“But you liked her. And she liked you, too.” It was pretty obvious to anyone that saw them together.
Jungkook takes a long while to speak again. “I did like her. A lot.” The way his voice sounds fragile surprises you. Seeing him like this is very rare. Jungkook isn’t one to get all emotional too often. It seems that confessing this to you is important to him, somehow.
It also scares you a tiny bit. What if Jungkook still likes her, just like you suspected in the past?
“I didn’t want things to end the way they did.” He continues. His eyes are far away, watching old memories. His shoulders seem tense. He fiddles with the small banana milk bottle between his fingers. “But… some things aren’t meant to be, it doesn’t matter how much you want them to.”
This answer sounds… way too vague. Not what you want to hear. You know there’s more behind their break up, but just by looking at Jungkook you see that he isn’t telling you anything else. Well, this is the most he ever said about his past relationship in almost one year. It’s better than nothing.
And back to silence.
You want to push this awkwardness away. But how? You don’t feel as close to Jungkook as you always were. It’s not as if you could simply say anything in this moment… especially because, somehow, you feel that Jungkook expects you to do something, even though he came all the way to your apartment just to talk.
Say something, goddamnit!
“I’m sorry.” you blurt out.
Jungkook looks at you, but you’re not strong enough to look back at him. You hold the tiny bottle so tightly that it might get smashed at any moment; that’s just how nervous you are.
“Sorry for what?” he asks quietly. You hear the expectation in his voice… almost as if he’s holding his breath.
You can’t help but gulp. I’m not good with this type of thing.
“For everything.” you hate the way your voice sounds so damn fragile. Being sincere like this is somehow… painful. But that’s what Jungkook expects of you: sincerity. So you keep talking, although you don’t know the right words to express yourself. “I… I don’t know why things got like this between us…” you almost gasp. “I mean, I know why. We know why. And I feel very responsible.”
“You have this habit of taking the blame to yourself, isn’t it?” He murmurs. Jungkook shakes his head softly and passes his hand on his hair.
“But I was the one to propose it in the first place.”
“And I agreed.”
“Okay, but…” you have to stop for a moment to recover your breath. “I don’t know, I just feel sorry. I didn’t think of anyone except me all along. I’ve been an awful person to you… and awful friend. Also…” you need to stop again. Why is it so hard to speak? It feels as if there’s something obstructing your throat; the words hardly come out. “What I did that day at Joy’s house… it was wrong. I’m sorry that I made you upset that day.”
Jungkook sighs heavily. You’re still scared to look at him.
“I’m sorry about that day, too. I was rude to you.” Is he apologizing for calling you a slut while you had sex in the bathroom? Well, you definitely didn’t care about that. “I feel sorry too, Y/N. The way we drifted apart from each other…” he gesticulates with his finger between you and him. “The fault is on us both. I already told you, you shouldn’t take all the responsibility to yourself. We were both stupid.”
“Very stupid.” you both chuckle. You feel your heart lightening up for a moment; that strong tension still hovers around you, but now it feels like a different type of tension. Seeing that tiny smile in Jungkook’s lips makes your heart race.
You finally look at each other.
The shadows of the night paint Jungkook’s face. His hair sways with the wind softly. His dark eyes shine as much as diamonds. You never really understood the expression “to get lost in someone’s eyes…”
Well… now you do.
The small moment you two share feels fragile… featherlight. You’re scared that if you say or do something wrong, it’ll break and disappear. You’re scared to break him. To break yourself. This makes you remember that, ever since you were kids, Jungkook has always been the most fragile of you two. He has always been the most sensitive, the one to get hurt easily. Jimin was right all along. How could you do this to him? Why did you let this happen between you two?
“I missed you.” your voice is barely a whisper. Admitting this makes you feel exposed and relieved at the same time. Your throat feels even tighter.
“I missed you, too.” he confesses.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too.”
You smile at each other.
That’s the moment you almost confess something more… your confused feelings for him. You feel the urge to say that you don’t see him as just a friend anymore; that you don’t want to be just a friend anymore.
But something holds you back.
This is maybe the moment when you’re finally being able to reconcile. You don’t know if Jungkook feels the same about you; you don’t want to push him away by throwing your feelings over him. This might destroy you friendship forever.
Then, you decide to keep it all to yourself. At least for now.
“So,” Jungkook says, sighing. “What about that group project?”
You quirk one eyebrow up. “I’m pretty sure you know about the group project.”
Jungkook giggles. “Jimin has been annoying you, too?” you nod. He shakes his head. “He’s a little shit, isn’t he?”
“Yes. He had good intentions, at least.” You shrug.
“He could be a little more subtle, though.” You can’t help but agree. “Congratulations for getting the highest grade.”
“Thank you. Jimin also told me that you’ve been talking to some important people…”
Jungkook smiles beautifully with this. “Yes. It’s a director. He said that he likes my work and that I have talent. I think he’ll invite me to work with him as a trainee for a while.” Your eyes widen in a surprised expression.
“Really?! That’s great, Kook!” It feels so nice to call him Kook again after so long. Slowly, you feel that unbearable tension vanishing and all that’s left is you and him. Two people that know each other better than you know yourselves for most of your lives. In a matter of seconds, the distance that put you apart for months seems to disappear.
Suddenly, you feel a cold drizzle start falling over your heads. Jungkook frowns. “I think we should get down there.”
“Yes.” Before you can think better, you blurt out: “You can sleep here if you want.” Perhaps you shouldn’t have said that, because Jungkook’s frown deepens as he stares at you with suspicion. A shiver of fear runs down your spine. “Hey, that’s not what I mean.” You’re quick to say, waving your hands. “Before this sex thing started there was just us, remember? I… I miss us.”
Jungkook thinks for some moments, his eyes never leaving yours.
Then, a tiny smile makes its way to his lips - and you’re happy to see that the smile reaches his eyes, too. “Okay.”
“Wait- so Irene and Jennie made up?” Jungkook asks from the kitchen, surprised.
“That’s what it looks like. I mean, they did post some photos together on Instagram.” you say while adjusting the pillows and blankets on the mattress you placed in the living room. Yours’ and Seulgi’s friends come to sleep over a lot, so you’re used to do it - you even bought some spare sheets and blankets for this occasion.
“But you can’t be sure that they are together just because of some photos.”
“Yeah, but you know Seulgi. She jumped to conclusions. Being honest, they don’t look like a couple in these photos… but I don’t think there’s anything I can say that will change her mind at this point. I tried everything.”
“I don’t really think that they’ll make up this time.” Jungkook admits. You walk over to the kitchen and lean on the counter, opposite to him.
“I feel bad for her. Seulgi still loves Irene and she can’t get over it. I think it’s the first time she spends the night out in a long while… and it isn’t even to have fun. I’m worried.”
He pouts and shrugs, eyes focused in building up his sandwich. “Maybe we should just let her figure things out by herself.”
“But she’s doing nothing.”
Jungkook stops adding ketchup just to stare at you and quirk his eyebrows. “Y/N. I think I already said that you should stop trying to be a cupid, like… a million times.”
“I didn’t say I’d do something!” You do your best to sound offended.
“I know you, woman. I’ve seen this face many times. You look like an evil gremlin.”
“I don’t!” you cross your arms. You forgot how annoying it is that Jungkook knows you so well, because you did think of doing something to help her. You’re so tired of seeing you friend being sad all the time. All she does these days is watch Netflix and complain. She already started to look like a zombie at this point. No one can blame you for being concerned. “Besides, gremlins are cute.”
“You’re the only person on this planet that thinks this.” He shakes his head slightly, his hair waving in the process.
“Why did you let your hair grow so much?” You ask, resting your chin over your palm.
“Because I look good with long hair.” Jungkook shrugs, a smug smirk on his face.
“You cocky little shit.”
“Am I wrong for telling the truth?” He looks up at you again, playful. You can’t even tell he’s wrong: that long hair really matches his looks and personality.
“Hey, are you still helping Namjoon and Yoongi?” you ask when Jungkook starts to make a fourth sandwich. Yes, you guys do eat a lot.
“Yeah. I haven’t been to the studio in a few days, but they still call me whenever they need me.” Jungkook presses his lips together and shifts a little: nervousness. “I… I kind of helped them write a song.”
“Really? But you said you were just ‘lending’ them your voice to record demos.”
“Yeah, but I felt kind of inspired. It was just for fun, though.” He shifts his eyes to you then back to the sandwich very rapidly. “Maybe I’ll let you listen to it any other day.”
“Aw, come on! I’ve been wanting to listen to your songs for so long!” you whine.
“I said maybe. When the right time comes.”
You don’t really get what he means with it.
For a while, you just sit there and watch Jungkook. He looks so carefree and relaxed; he moves around the kitchen as if it’s his own house. He knows where everything is in the cabinets. In a way, this really is his second house considering how often he comes… even when he used to come just to fuck during these past months. It feels so nice to see him not being all tensed up and uncomfortable around you anymore. He even starts to sing quietly, his voice as sweet and smooth as cotton candy filling up the entire house. You’re one of the few people that Jungkook feels confident enough to sing around. It’s almost a privilege.
You have been staring at him unceremoniously for so long that Jungkook frowns and looks back at you, frowning. “What?”
“Nothing.” You shake your head. “It’s just that… Namjoon is right. You could’ve been famous with this voice.” Jungkook smiles shyly. “And this face.” He turns around to open the fridge. “And this ass.”
He frowns. “Seriously?”
“What? I’m being honest. And don’t act like you don’t stare at my ass all the time.”
Jungkook chuckles and shakes his head in that way that means I can’t stand you.
“Done.” He claps his hands together. Four giant sandwiches, coke, popcorn and m&ms (let’s say that you and Seulgi don’t have exactly the healthier type of food at home).
“Okay. I’ll take these, get changed first if you want,” you say while taking the plates to the living room. Of course there would be some of his clothes at your place.
When Jungkook sees the clothes you chose, he stares at you with an outraged expression. “My grey hoodie!”
“…yes.”
“You said you didn’t know where it was!”
You stop and click your tongue. “…funny how I found it at the bottom of my drawer tonight, huh?”
He knows you’re lying. But you won’t tell him that slept wearing his hoodie some nights because it smelled like him. He doesn’t need to know this.
“Hoodie thief.” He says and taps your head jokingly, making his way to the bathroom. You’re wearing sleeping clothes as well - and you made sure to choose your ugliest and largest ones. You don’t want Jungkook to think you asked him to sleep here just to end up having sex.
He comes back and throws himself on the mattress by your side. You’re very aware of the immense space between you; another person could fit in here. “What are we going to watch?”
“I think I’ve watched the entire Netflix catalogue at this point because of Seulgi.” you admit, shoving popcorn inside your mouth. Jungkook takes your phone and scrolls down the Netflix page.
“There’s always something more to watch.”
You end up arguing about what movie to watch. Actually, you spend more time arguing and scrolling down through the Netflix endless catalogue than watching something.
You don’t touch each other not even once. The physical distance almost feels like a living being.
You end up giving up on Netflix and watching Avengers Endgame for the hundredth time anyway.
And yes - Jungkook cries at the ending of the film.
You wake up with the sunlight touching your face.
It’s awful. You close your eyes tightly and yawn, a little bit confused at first. What am I doing in the living room? You search for your phone to check the hour: it’s seven in the morning. Shit. Whenever you can sleep until late hours, you end up waking up early…
You turn your head to the side and freeze.
It’s Jungkook.
Now you remember everything. The TV is still on, which means both of you fell asleep while watching it. The empty plates and glasses are placed over the coffee table.
You never slept together before.
There was only one time when it happened - the first and only, when you two got wasted and the whole story started. Other than that, you never slept together. First, because you had more interesting things to do other than sleep. Second, because sleeping together feels way too intimate. It didn’t matter how tired you were after fucking, when you finished cleaning up, you’d both put your clothes back on and walk back to your respective homes. You vehemently avoided doing anything that might feel too intimate - kissing, sleeping together… after a while, you even avoided looking at each other right in the eye while having sex.
You’re not touching; there is still a great space between your bodies. Yet… just the thought that you slept with Jungkook makes your heart race.
You don’t move a single centimeter. You just lay there and… look at him.
His long hair is a mess. His face is adorably puffy, lips slightly parted. He looks peaceful. The way his chest moves up and down as he breathes is hypnotizing.
He’s seriously so beautiful.
But now, you don’t think of it in a sexual way. Back then, you’d always admire how hot Jungkook is, his godlike physique, how lucky you were to be having sex with a guy like him… not now. You just feel mesmerized by his features. The long eyelashes touching his cheeks. The tiny moles on his face and neck. Some old acne scars.
It’s odd, but right now, you realize just how much you’ve been missing him. It doesn’t make sense - Jungkook is right here, barely an arm apart from you. You made up last night and it seems that everything is back to normal. Still, you desperately miss him.
Your chest fills up with something strange and unknown. It’s sweet and painful. It makes your heart feel tight, your nerves feel like burning and your eyes well up with tears.
This is the face of the person that has been with you during most of your life.
He’s a part of you.
The most important part of you.
In this moment, your feelings for him are so great that it seems that they can’t even fit inside of you anymore.
You watch him sleep for a long time, too scared to move and wake him up. But eventually, he sighs heavily and moves his head, indicating he’s about to wake up.
His eyes finally open and he yawns.
“Good morning.” He says when his eyes focus on you, smiling softly. Jungkook’s voice sounds deep and raspy. He stretches his arms over his head. “I mean… if it’s still morning.”
“It is,” you say softly.
He stares at the ceiling with heavy-lidded eyes. “I dreamed that babies came from eggs. Like ostrich eggs.” He chuckles. “And women gave birth to the eggs like chickens.”
You don’t say anything and just keep watching him instead.
Jungkook finally turns his head at you and frowns, still smiling softly. “What?”
“Nothing.” You say so quietly that he can barely hear.
He gazes back at you.
Slowly, the smile on his lips disappears.
You feel the tension building up around you - but this time it feels different. It’s not a bad tension like what you experienced last night at the terrace, nor is it dense like when you two were aroused and desperate to find a place and please yourselves. This time, it feels delicate but heavy nevertheless. It makes your blood boil and your heart race.
Jungkook’s eyes are serious, heavy and intense over you. All the playfulness is gone. None of you say a word. You don’t even know if you have the power to move considering how heavy the tension is.
He extends his arm and his fingertips touch your cheek. Your skin feels burning hot. Delicately, he puts a strand of hair behind your ear. It’s strange how he’s doing the exact same thing Taehyung did, but with Jungkook, this simple touch made you feel like exploding right there.
Jungkook is the one to come closer. Closer and closer and closer. Your breathing is heavy. He caresses your cheek his his thumb. Soon, his face is right in front of yours - noses touching, eyes locked and burning with something you can’t quite name.
You stare at each other like this for a moment until his gaze finally drops to your mouth.
You both lean in for the kiss at the same time.
You have already tasted these lips multiple times before - but now, it’s different. The kiss is slow; you move your lips unhurriedly and sweetly. Yet, this kiss feels much more intense than any other you have shared before. None of those times when you kissed him desperately with luxury being the only thing on your mind comes even close to the intensity of this kiss.
It almost feels that this is the actual first time you kiss Jungkook.
Your breathing gets even heavier as the kiss deepens. His hand rests on your waist, while yours hold his neck. The sloppy sounds of your lips and tongues moving together are the only audible thing in the apartment. Your whole being screams in excitement and anticipation when Jungkook moves his body to hover over yours, not even once breaking the kiss. Your right hand grabs his smooth hair while the other travels up and down his back; your body is getting burning hot. Jungkook moans very softly. You start to feel the familiar wetness on your panties.
Jungkook leans away for a moment; his lips are red and swollen, his hair is even messier now, his dark eyes are clouded with want and something you can’t name - something so strong that he’s able to make you shiver with that look alone. He leans down again and starts to kiss and suck your neck very slowly, making soft moans escape through your lips. His hand sneaks under your baggy shirt and he squeezes your breast. Soon, his lips are on yours again and the kiss becomes much deeper. You can already feel sweat forming on your forehead. Jungkook starts to grind on you; you can clearly feel his clothed erection rub against your own core, what makes more and more strangled moans come from both of you.
This is the hottest make out session of your life. The entire atmosphere is not what you’re used to; it’s not playful, none of you say a word. No teasing, no dirty talk. All you do is try to touch each other the best you can, never once breaking the kiss. It’s as if, with this kiss, you’re having a conversation… you’re telling each other everything you’re not brave enough to say out loud.
Soon, the desperation becomes too big. There’s no time to play, you just want to have him inside of you and feel his warm skin against yours. Unceremoniously, you start to undress yourselves, kissing every spot you can find in the process - neck, chest, stomach. Your clothes are thrown around the living room. You lay on your back again and Jungkook hovers above you once more, your legs entangling around his hips as he positions his hard member on your entrance.
You always avoided this position because it is too intimate; you’re forced to look at each other like this. This time, though, it doesn’t matter. You want to look at him - and the sight of his face contorting in pure pleasure, lips parted and eyes closed tightly as he eases himself inside of you, is almost as good as the feeling of being stretched after a long time.
Jungkook doesn’t move at first. He knows he’ll hurt you if he goes too hard right from the beginning. Instead, he waits until you call his name quietly in a strangled moan - the sign he needs to start thrusting. He rests his head on your shoulder and grabs the pillow under your head tightly as he picks up his pace, slow and steady, soft groans coming from the back of his throat that make you feel goosebumps. You hold his back with both hands. You can’t shut the moans anymore.
Sweat makes your skin slippery as he thrusts faster. Jungkook licks and bites your ear, moaning right into it, and it feels that this alone could make you cum. He then leans away for a moment, creating some space between your bodies to have a better angle to keep smashing himself into you - faster and faster, stronger and stronger. The usual sound of skin hitting skin, heavy breathing and moans is all you can hear.
You said that you didn’t ask him to sleep here just to have sex - and you weren’t lying.
But this doesn’t feel like just sex.
This isn’t fucking.
The pleasure is getting unsustainable and you both feel it. You close your legs around him even tighter and pull his face with both hands, sealing your lips in another intense, desperate kiss. It’s sloppy and unsynchronized. It’s raw and rough and so full of emotions you can’t comprehend that you feel your eyes tearing up again.
What you’re experiencing right now isn’t just two people finding pleasure in each other. It isn’t simply carnal instinct.
It is the deepest and most sincere way to connect with another being - without any words, through touches only.
You never felt anything like this in your life - not with Mike or any of your past boyfriends and hook ups. This is beyond lust. This is beyond sex.
Jungkook breaks the kiss apart for a second to look at you. Your gazes lock. God, he’s beautiful. Not only his appearance, but everything about him is beautiful.
And it is right now - stating deep into his eyes - that you come to a conclusion.
Jungkook has always been a part of you. But, in this exact moment, it feels like more.
It feels that you two became one.
He leans down and kisses you again. Your lips are tightly sealed when you both come at the same time.
Your trembling fingers still hold the strands of his damp hair tightly. You caress his face softly, putting some hair away from his eyes. Jungkook kisses you again. And again, and again, and again, and again.
You’re glad when he rests his head on your shoulder again, because like this, he can’t see the tears trickling down your temples.
It’s still hard to understand what just happened. Honestly, you think you’ll never fully understand.
But one thing you do understand, one thing that became as clear as the morning sky, is that your feelings for Jungkook are deeper and stronger than you ever imagined. He’s so much more than a friend.
Yet, you don’t know if he sees you the same way.
You don’t know if he felt the same things you did or if this was just one more time having sex with you. You don’t know if he still has feelings for Yeri or if he’s developing any for Joy.
You know nothing - and this fact makes your heart hurt as if it is being stabbed…
Because Jungkook, the best and most important part of you, might never be truly yours.
#btswriterscollective#bts jungkook#jungkook scenario#jungkook imagine#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook x reader#jeongguk x reader#jeongguk scenarios#jeongguk imagine#jeongguk smut#jeongguk fanfiction#jeongguk fanfic#jungkook fanfic#jeongguk angst#jeongguk fluff#bts imagines#bts scenarios#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts au#bts smut#bts angst#bts fluff#bts x reader#bangtan fanfiction#bangtan fanfic#jungkook
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After the whole 100 DV for new players thing, I swear people are using any reason at all to shit on the devs. People are hating on how much you have to spend to get rewards on the Go Go Goldie event but like??? Duh?? They cannot give you more devil points than you spend?? That should be?? Obvious?? And it's not even like this is a new event. They've done the Go Go Goldie event several times before in the past. People just need to chill. The devs couldn't give you more free stuff if they tried.
Honestly obey me is one of the games where you just get a lot of free things? Like after playing games like Love Island where even with the reward after each ep. you still need to spend money if you're going to choose all the paid options or games like The Arcana where you have to be patient and rack up coins over months to be able to get the paid options. Obey Me is just so good? Because:
1.) You don't have paid options within the main storyline
2.) You can replay parts of the main storyline whenever you want without having to use keys or anything
3.) You can easily earn grimm
4.) You can use 27,000 grim on that one x10 nightmare pull and get parts of UR & SSR cards that you can eventually assemble
5.) Free x1 pulls that actually give UR & SSR cards every once in a while
6.) Frequent Levi's boot camp where you can win vouchers and points
7.) Frequent events where you can win points and vouchers (if you play without cheatcards you can get past the first part in like 9days this means each time there's an event you can win 10vouchers without spending vouchers on cheat cards)
8.) Daily login bonuses, two of which are points
9.) Can level up cards/unlock spaces using only Grimm (which is easy to earn) & the little token things (which you can easily win by replaying levels)
10.) YOU CAN WIN 18 POINTS A DAY!???
11.) You can win 1 key a day to unlock devilgrams
12.) Each time there's maintenance (which is pretty frequent) devs give you a gift (just got a voucher????)
13.) Devs listen to complaints and fix problems?
14.) You get two chances a day to get additional AP and get AP from your friends
15.) Unlike with games like mystic messenger there's no consequences of missing calls/messages and you can just call them back/reply later
16.) Even if you don't win a certain card to unlock a Devilgram you still have the amazing art of the Devilgram in your game (which in most games once the event is done and if you don't get the card that's it. You don't get the pretty art)
17.) None of the Devilgrams have any effect on the main storyline so you don't need to get them. The Devilgrams that do contribute to the backstory are all the ones that you can just get on nightmare on a normal day/get the parts of and assemble in your own time
18.) You can get through one whole lesson on the AP you have and don't have to only play like five parts and then wait hours to get more keys/tickets like in wizardess heart+
19.) You can win feathers through guest interactions, having them work jobs, through event & boot camp rewards
20.) Obey me is an otome game, it's whole purpose is to earn money so you shouldn't be surprised when they have sales or events or whatever to try and get money from the people who are willing to pay
One of the reasons I stuck with obey me is that the game is so much more generous than usual otome games?
Would I like 100 vouchers? Yes. Would I like it to be easier to get to the third part in events? Yes. Am I gonna harass the devs, who are already giving more than an average otome game, about it? Nope.
What I do to win Devilgrams is this; pick a brother. Focus on getting his Devilgrams so you can save up vouchers and points during events that don't have SSR or UR cards for him. I also don't bother trying to get outfits? Like I see the appeal but also at the same time I'd rather use feathers to buy vouchers than spend 300 on an outfit
If you have multiple favs (which is fine): have friends who play obey me & exchange screenshots of the Devilgram stories you get. If your friends don't have the cards & you cant find anyone on tumblr who does try YouTube. I've read Mammon's Bunny, Vampire & Idol Devilgrams all through people who posted them on YouTube.
ALSO the fact that each card has 10 skill up levels but we only get the chance to skill them up to level 2 during events probably means that there's a chance that these cards will appear again in nightmare. (This already happened once with a few cards and it's how I got the Lucifer Butler card despite not having the game when the actual event was happening).
Overall, I think it's fine to bitch and complain and rant whenever you get frustrated during the game (like it's something I do when I really want a card but know I'm not gonna get it cause it's on the third page and I don't have enough vouchers/points) but don't go and harass real people (whether it's new players or the devs) over a game, none of them owe us anything. Chill guys.
#asks#answers#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me!#shall we date? obey me!#swd obey me#obey me lucifer#om! lucifer#obey me mammon#om! mammon#obey me leviathan#om! leviathan#obey me satan#om! satan#obey me asmodeus#om! asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#om! beelzebub#obey me belphegor#om! belphegor#swd lucifer#swd mammon#swd leviathan#swd satan#swd asmodeus#swd beelzebub#swd belphegor
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ok i really wanna dive into this xicheng gymnast au ive got going on because its self-idulgent a really cool idea and ive been really interested in gymnastics recently (little angst bc im a weak bitch)
here are jiang cheng, nie huaisang, wei wuxian designs; ill add more as i draw
so jc, nhs, and wwx are popular rhythmic gymnasts and are a fan favourite in the fandom (?)
jc loves the ribbon but can also do club and rope; nhs does ball, ribbon and club; wwx can do all five (ribbon, ball, hoop, club, and rope) but he likes doing hoops the most
the three of them are pretty close since they have time to chitchat at the small louge area for resting; theyre also often called the powerpuff girls (ppg) since they wear red, green and purple (ik bubbles is blue but just roll w it)
jc has a no. 1 fan, like the biggest jc fan ever, and its a famous musician, lan xichen; literally his social media is filled with jc photos, fancams, and videos (sometimes he posts selfies with his jc merch that me probably made on his own)
ppg knows about lxc and teases jc about him so much
"did you see his face lighting up once it was jc's turn? he even brought a handmade light up banner for him omg"
jc is both flattered and annoyed (mostly because he gets teased a lot for it) but every gift lxc gives him (read: yeets on the floor) is treasured
its mostly bouquets of lotus flowers and teddy bears (there are times when he throws heavily a box safely wrapped in thick bubble wrap and tons and tons of tape and inside is just cute bracelets, necklaces and rings)
secret: jc wears it under his clothes and costume
secret secret: it sometimes comes out and lxc screams about it on twt
anyways, one day at a competition, ppg makes a bet that if jc gets a score higher than 18 in ribbons, then he has to go to lxc and ask him out
jc is torn bc he really wants a high score but is too shy to ask lxc out
spoiler: jc gets a 18.5 and now he has to approach lxc
jc's too shy to do it in person so he reaches out thru twt and dms him a
"hey uh i know ur like a big fan and i appreciate ur gifts but sometimes they look expensive anyways can i treat u to dinner to compensate"
LXC FREAKS OUT AND MESSAGES EVERYBODY HE KNOWS
lwj: do it, nmj: coward accept it, jgy: once in a lifetime opportunity, fucking do it pussy
spoiler #2: lxc accepts and jc takes him to a nice restaurant on a nice night out
its super awkward at first but once lxc takes over the conversation (mostly gushing about jc's techniques and routines) they find a nice flowing convo
"i had a great time" "me too!! im honoured to have had a dinner with my idol" "gay panic"
jc and lxc keep talking thru twt dms until they finally exchange numbers
"huan-ge" "CHENG CHENG 😭🥺💖"
they eventually go out again, and again, and again, until finally lxc gets brave and asks him out ON A DATE!!! as if the other hangouts arent dates 🙄
now theyre B O Y F R I E N D S ~ ✨
but secret bc jc is still new to everything and is lowkey overwhelmed by it, lxc agrees and does his best to make jc more comfortable and make him feel loved
they do fight over how jc's still being cold after months of dating and the fact that their relationship is still a secret doesnt help AT ALL
after numerous fights about it, lxc breaks and unloads all of HIS insecurity
"ive been feeling like ive forced you into this relationship, that my love and adoration for you made you feel as if you needed to compensate for that like how you did when we first went out. you've been cold and reject my affection and it hurts me even though i know you've said that you're just not used to it, but jiang cheng, we've been dating for 8 months now and i was so sure that by this point you'd be more comfortable. i love you a-cheng but i feel like you dont love me back."
something in the lines of that but you get me right?
ANYWAYS lxc keeps his distance from jc and jc does the same bc shit he feels bad that he made lxc think and feel that way
ppg notice that jc has been acting weird and asks him abt it and jc opens up to them about his relationship with lxc and ppg just go from 👁️👄👁️ to 😬☹️😞 because yikes
nhs and wwx obvi helps him brainstorm ideas as to how to apologize and show lxc that jc truly loves him the same way but theyre so busy with training and practicing for finals wHEN SUDDENLY NHS GOES
"what if... you dressed... in a blue and white costume... and wore the gifts he gave..."
BOOM jc gets the same costume from his routine tailored in white and blue and gets a pearlescent ribbon, shining blue to purple and wears pretty cloud earrings and replaces his zidian ring with a matching cloud ring
he goes to his finals in that costume AND ALL HIS FANS RIOT
"holy SHIT jc is wearing blue???" "what happened to the old costume??" "its the same one but in blue??" "hes so handsome tho"
lxc is obvi there at the finals because he is first and foremost, jc's no. 1 fan
nmj and lwj are with lxc bc lxc needs emotional support, and with the added bonus of jc's beautiful costume and accessories, he just LOSES it and cries on the spot bc hes a softie
jc performs his routine, gets an unbelievable high score and wins a gold medal (deserve) and on the podium, he asks for a mic and tells the whole fucking world his feelings for lxc
"ive been dating lan xichen, my no. 1 fan, for 8 months and its been the best 8 months of my entire life. its been a secret to everybody we both know because i was too scared to say something, too scared that everybody would reject it and judge us. but now that i realized it has put a strain on our relationship, it made me think. why should i worry about this? why should i be scared? why, when i have him by my side to support me and love me? im so sorry huan-ge that ive made you feel unloved and unwanted because i do love you. i love you so fucking much and it hurts me that you feel this way because of me. i hope that you're here somewhere in the audience to hear this, maybe not since we're not okay, but know that ill do better. ill let myself love you wholy and freely from now on if you'll let me."
cue jc crying and lxc also crying (harder) and probably the whole world crying with them even lwj lets out a tear or two
cue cue lxc fucking jumping out the barracade, fall on his ass, running towards the podium, tripping and landing on his face, standing up and limping, then tackling jc and almost making them fall over bc lxc is chaotic like that
cue cue cue lots of crying and hugging and screaming from the audience and probably the medical team rushing in because holy shit lxc did that and jc is still hitting him for almost dying??
social media fucking blows up with numerous photos of jc, videos of jc's speech, photos and videos of lxc and jc and loads of support messages for the two of them
it ends with lxc posting numerous selfies of him and jiang cheng being lovey dovey with a really cheesy caption that probably goes like
"HE HAS NO RIGHT TO MAKE MY KOKORO GO DOKI DOKI" or "i love one (1) man and its my boyfriend- oops i meant fiance"
the end sksks theres other couples in this like wangxian and nieyao but really minor so i didnt put them in BUT how is this story? is it worth writing out? or is it ok as is?
#love this au#so fucking much#it needs a bit work here and there#but thats the basic plot#kekfjykjc#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#the untamed#xicheng#lan xichen#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#lan wangji#nie huaisang#nie mingjue#jin guangyao
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impression//expression
"It’s not like Kirishima had come all this way to U.A. to immediately break the promise he made to himself upon arrival.
It’s just that Bakugou is as feral as they come, and the moment Kirishima recognizes it’s fear he felt crawling up his spine that day, he makes it his personal mission to face it head-on until it’s gone."
(Or: Being friends with Bakugou Katsuki is anything but a linear experience. Kirishima Eijirou would have it no other way.)
Tags: Kirishima POV, Developing Friendships, Protective Kiri, Soft Baku, Chatting
Chapter 1. No additional content warnings apply. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9.
***
The routine goes as follows:
Bakugou waits for Kirishima at the front door, arms crossed and a varying degree of pissed off depending how late he's running. Kirishima complains about the train being postponed or too full or delayed in some way – which is true, damn it, it’s like the universe has doomed his train line and none other in all of Japan to be the statistical outlier in an otherwise spotless record of punctuality – and begs for forgiveness, usually by bribing Bakugou with some post-workout coffee.
It works surprisingly well. A month into this and Kirishima is about ready to join one of those conspiracy theory servers Kaminari is so fond of because Bakugou is actually pretty lenient, death threats and crackling palms aside.
(That being said, Kirishima enjoys life and living and chasing after his dreams, so he will never breathe a word about that particular observation to anyone, least of all Bakugou himself.)
They usually got the gym to themselves, the employees on the early shift always looking vaguely relieved that at least someone is making use of their opening hours. Kirishima’s never been a regular anywhere aside from perhaps the manga store a few blocks from his home, so it feels a bit special to have this implicit claim to the training area made for heat-based quirks every Saturday morning.
Bakugou snorted when Kirishima told him that, muttering what sounded like fucking nerd under his breath.
The rest is pretty straight-forward. Kirishima’s been on a daily workout schedule for a good year by this point, and it’s clear Bakugou is used to it too. They stretch, do some warm-ups (in Bakugou’s case, quite literally) and off they go.
The thing is: It’s fun. Like, really, really fun. Really loud, too, especially when Bakugou’s got his sweat on and comes at him point-blank and flashy like fireworks personified. By the first session, Kirishima already realized it’s a lost cause trying to talk during training because all Bakugou replies with is an exasperated “Hah?!” no matter what he says.
It’s not like Kirishima could’ve heard himself speak anyways, his ears always left ringing something fierce from all the close-quarter explosions. Bakugou is a stranger to the concept of holding back or taking things by half measures, that much hasn’t changed.
Elsewhere, it might’ve taken a while for Kirishima to push his quirk to the point where his skin breaks out in cracks and ridges, his arms and shoulders and hair turning unyielding and clear-cut like miniature mountains. Not here, though: Not when the choices are to put his best foot forward with every move, or have Bakugou tear his throat out for daring to waste his time. There’s something so freeing about letting loose like that – a thrill that sends Kirishima’s heart on a war path and his pulse soaring until all that’s left are his instincts and quick reflexes.
Like this, every time he gets a hit in or a blast manages to leave a mark on his body, Bakugou grins and Kirishima grins back. Like this, the bruises and lost hours of sleep pale in comparison to just how bright Bakugou’s eyes can shine.
*
Kirishima brushes off the last traces of carbon dust off his arms to start massaging the sore muscles there. With U.A.’s Sports Festival a mere handful of days away, both of them kept going until their quirks started to sputter.
A strange comfort, to sit in mutual exhaustion like this. It’s not even noon but Kirishima could totally go for a nap, right there on the black, fire-proof tiles. Leaning back on his hands, he hums and asks:
“So. What’s the deal with Midoriya?”
A few feet from him, Bakugou pauses in rolling his shoulders. The black tank top he’s wearing is positively plastered to his body with sweat, his track pants saved from the same fate by how bulky they are.
“What?”
Too late, it occurs to Kirishima to feel nervous. The sensation is dim against the warmth still clinging to his skin though, that minute ache that comes with becoming stone for too long. “Being around him pisses you off. What’s up with that?”
Bakugou stares at him. His expression is hard to read, firmly within the realm of his default frown. “The fuck, Shitty Hair. What’s it to you?”
Uh oh. Kirishima sits up, mostly to raise his hands in a placating gesture, palm-up. “Just curious, bro. Honest. Been wondering for a while so I thought I’d ask, y’know?”
As bold as Kirishima aims to be, lying Bakugou in the face when his gaze is sharp enough to cut a bitch would be a monumentally stupid move. Bakugou seems to come to the same conclusion, even if his scoff is plenty aggressive.
“None of your fucking business, that’s what’s up with it. Fucking… Deku, bah.”
To say the silence that follows is loaded is the understatement of the century. Kirishima chews on his tongue, about a thousand questions balancing on its tip; it’s like the Midoriya he sees is the polar opposite of the one Bakugou blows a fuse over on a regular basis, and the why behind it is kind of starting to haunt him. (It doesn’t help that everyone in 1-A treats him as some sort of expert in all things Bakugou instead of interacting with the guy directly.)
One glance at Bakugou and he swallows it all down. Only now, with any and all traces of it gone, does Kirishima realize how calm he had looked. “…Coffee?”
Bakugou picks himself off the ground and leaves without another word.
*
Baku 💣💥
it’s bullshit dude (sent 18:23)
u know that right? (sent 18:23)
right? (sent 18:48)
like the whole chains + muzzle thing was ass i’m still fuming (sent 19:10)
and the press can go duck themselves lol (sent 19:12)
fuck** (sent 19:12)
it’s ur right to refuse the thing if u don’t want it (sent 19:15)
idk man it just sucks (sent 19:20)
baku? (sent 19:35)
:( (sent 19:55)
-
i know (received 19:56)
stop blowing up my phone (received 19:57)
-
baku!! ❤️ (sent 19:57)
sry haha (sent 19:57)
u ok tho? (sent 20:00)
-
fuck off (received 20:01)
-
sry sry (sent 20:01)
(my moms say hi btw 💪🏻💪🏻) (sent 20:32)
((and congrats but i told em u don’t wanna hear it lmao)) (sent 20:33)
-
hi back (received 20:40)
-
💪🏻 (sent 20:42)
*
Lord Explosion Murder?? (Baku 💣💥 )
so like (sent 6:20)
ur hero name (sent 6:20)
-
? (received 6:21)
-
oh! morning lol (sent 6:22)
ok so. it’s a bit of a mouthful (sent 6:24)
manly! (sent 6:24)
but y’know (sent 6:24)
-
k (received 6:25)
-
what about nitro? or smth (sent 6:30)
it’s snappy and cool! like u hehe (sent 6:33)
WAIT NO (sent 6:33)
LIKE (sent 6:33)
UM (sent 6:34)
-
kirishima (received 6:34)
-
yea? (sent 6:34)
OH SHIT DID U JUST (sent 6:36)
pls don’t kill me (sent 6:36)
bro? (sent 6:40)
bakubro? (sent 6:48)
nitro? 👀 (sent 6:53)
… (sent 6:57)
at least lemme say bye to my dog man (sent 7:00)
-
no (received 7:00)
-
RIP in pieces me (sent 7:00)
*
Nitro!! (Baku 💣💥 )
oi dipshit (received 8:02)
-
?? 👀 (sent 8:02)
-
you owe me coffee (received 8:03)
-
!!! (sent 8:03)
[train_view.jpg] (sent 8:18)
omw 💪🏻 (sent 8:19)
-
k (received 8:19)
>>Chapter 3
#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#bnha#mha#kiribaku#kirishima eijirou#bakugou katsuki#bnha fanfiction#kiri is braver than any marine: the fic#(let's hope tumblr doesn't kill the formatting on this one)#this fic is also on AO3!!#my stuff
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multiples of 1 for the wc asks :]
;;;; jgfdlkgjdl puts this under a cut bc itll be so long but,, ty
1. what color is scourge’s collar?
i think like.. idk i never really cared too much but my brain always went to red or purple i wasnt picky tho fkgkdfklgj
2. top 5 the prophecies begin characters
oh.. okay like.. im not gonna go thru everything otherwise i probably wouldnt be able to pick but! these also arent in order
1. bluestar absolutely.. god i love her sm;; ive already rambled about her to you but she makes me fucking ache sm
2. brackenfur/thornclaw gonna put these boys together here because like i liked both of them for.. almost no reason? FDGDFGDF idk!! i think i liked thornclaw just a bit more but.. my boys!!
3. cinderpelt ... no explanation required <3 no just.. yeah ;_; i cry over her so much just.. like.. the tragedy to like her accepting and loving herself and becoming an amazing med cat and and ;;;;;;;;; i love her
4. tallstar and crookedstar..... leaders of my two fav clans.... need i say more <3 (ive also told you about these two and why i like them ;; both their books made me cry)
5. barley and ravenpaw ...... yeah ;_; <3
special mention for littlecloud and runningnose.. i loved them-- OKAY I NEED TO STOP IM AT WAY MORE THAN FIVE
3. should hollyleaf have had a power?
i say no!! the fucking.. tragedy of it all.. like its been a while since i read but fuck dude the like.. feelings of uselessness that must come with that but like shes a fucking complete cat either way and when she comes back and fucking sAVES IVYPOOL OH IM MAKING MYSELF TEAR UP shes AMAZING and did not need a power
4. millie or silverstream?
both! ;_; they dont need to fight. tho i think i did like silverstream more at first i dont think i ever hated millie like others
5. favorite forbidden romance
oh god lmao gonna only go with canon stuff [side eyes moth/leaf] buttttttt i mean ;; bluestar and oakheart ;; itll always make me ache yknow.. -- WAIT CAN I ADD CLOUDTAIL AND BRIGHTHEART TO FAV CATS TOO ILL CRY OVER THEM SOBS... -- uhhhhhh i never super liked leaf/crow just.. shrugs. ig it wasnt forbidden but stormfur staying with the tribe for brooke.. ;;;;;;; and to stay where feathertail died.. GOD ;_; yeah.. idk does tall/jake count ;;;
6. favorite sss warriors design
tbh i didnt really watch sss warriors but we love a nice just.. orange boy firestar :3
7. realistic or sparkle designs for roleplay?
its about balance........ ive had both! i liked leaning towards realistic but to this day id say i fall between like.. not realistic wrt genetics but making designs that Seem plausible at least
8. first deviantart username
oh god i dont remember prolly something like.. with mossmask in it
9. favorite crack ship (ex. revengeshipping)
it.. Was revenge shipping but like i never knew the crack ships klfgjkfdlgj :sob: yeah tgat was the only one i like ever saw so
10. describe your first warriors oc
technically.. jaymoss who i dont remember much? gray tabby? very quickly was revamped into/replaced by mossmask who to this day is who i consider my first oc and sona.. theyre a calico :3
11. favorite amv prior to 2014?
oh god ill have to look.. hm okay so.. bones shatter was a fucking CLASSIC i loved it okay.. so off the top of my head here we go.. the one firegray one of course and bonus this firegray one too klfdgjdklfg AND I LOVED THIS ONE FUCKING ASHFUR FAIRYTALE i wanted to have art like that for a few months i tried to emulate it lkjgldkfgj and god i loved duckfeatherz stuff.. the why did you change one... AND THE SWIFT AND BRIGHT ONE FDGJDFLGK FUCKING [SCREAMING CAT] GOD I LOVED IT.. ;;;;; fuckin.. god.. they ..... ;; [IM WATCHING IT RN FUCKING THEY AND NOSTALGIA ILL CRY] okay okay fucking of course obligatory [what if ashfur wanted to break] of course god 9 year old me loved it.. kfdjgkdfg OH AND THIS ONE BROUGHT BACK SO MANY MEMORIES IMMEDIATELY.. SCOURGES FLAWED DESIGN YES KDLSFJSDKL and god.. ashfurs hurt.. i watched this so much the voice acting in amvs god yes... I STILL THINK OF THIS SONG AT RANDOM EVEN THO I NEVER LISTENED TO IT OUTSIDE OF THIS VIDEO!!!! THE FUCKING LKJFLKFJGDLKG !!!!!!! AHHHHHH fucKING AHH [HELP ME HELP YOU] [IT HURTS WHEN UR LONELY AND IM STANDING RIGHT BESIDE YOU AND IT HURT WHEN YOU TOLD M--] [ITS JUST A MATTER OF HOW MUCH U LET IT SLIDE!!!!!!!!] [HOPE U NEVER HURT HOPE YA NEVER CR--] GHFGHFG GOD ;;;; like i hate ashfur being a bitch but i loveddddd this amv :sob: also.. leafpool is sober of crowfeather i ;;; this song gets me to this day also i viscerally remember the voice acting god kljfg i loved this one so much.. i still think of tigerclaw is not one of thunderclan sometimes too klfjgdfg and,, okay
i hate to pick a favorite but i feel like this one changed the trajectory of Me...... like ive always loved the song but this amv cemented it as like one of my songs of all time and i loved the designs and video and... literally i love this one so.... of course... ashfur - mr brightside.. my fucking BELOVED
12. is brambleclaw a good main character?
i read the books like so young i hear he got shittier? like.. i liked him when i was like.. 10-13 reading the books i liked all the journey cats tbh so
13. rank the clans (excluding skyclan, including bloodclan)
windlcan/riverclan
shadowclan
thunderclan
bloodclan
in my opinion <3
14. dovewing or ivypool?
i like.. liked ivypool a lot.. maybe related to her <3 but.. i like them both a lot up to where i read at Least
15. daisy: yay or nay?
i liked her!
16. did you ever use fanart as your pc wallpaper?
yes. including my own <3
17. what would your warrior name be and what clan would you belong to?
mossmask <3 of course <3 [rolling eyes] half clan river and windclan kljgdfklgj yeah.. could never pick.. honestly i mean.. shadowclan grew on me recently but in my mind.. mixed clan and it goes between whether moss would be wind or river
18. favorite medicine cat? (cutoff being oots)
ughhhh idk i liked a lot of em ;; runningnose cinderpelt brambleberry yellowfang.... thats without looking it up so <3
19. did you name/want to name a pet after a character?
i wanted to! never did.. still might name a cat moss in honor of mossmask
20. swiftpaw, gorsepaw, or shrewpaw?
swiftpaw.. like i dont remember the other two as much in my mind and swiftpaw really got to me as a kid ;;
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I have never dated an air sign man are they really that bad? Im an air sign myself, but weirdly enough I don’t attract air men into my life, i always hear such horror stories skgfsfgh
well at the end of the day, regardless of astrology as i always say, anyone can be good or bad!! but there’s certain traits/behaviors common to certain placements; especially when they’re undeveloped. undeveloped signs (aka, immature people; who haven’t worked out their flaws/issues/etc) of the same element and/or mode have a lot of things in common, and i feel like undeveloped traits are always the most noticeable when you date/get extremely close to someone 👀 so that’s probably why undeveloped air sign men get roasted a lot lmao. i’ve fucked with a lot of undeveloped men and imo undeveloped air sign men are the worst to deal with, for me 😭 (but it really depends the type of traits you can’t handle. for me selfishness & detached behaviors/lack of emotional intelligence are the biggest things i can’t deal with. so undeveloped air energy is not good w/ me)
but again, i’ve had my heart broken by gemini men more than any other sign but i still love them more than any other sign (for men, libras are always my fav for everyone else lol) fdjlkfjdfkld so i would never let astrology and my experience w/ air sign men actually stop me from saying good things about said signs nor dating them/befriending them/etc ofc!!
however, if ur interested in my personal air sign men reviews (this is biased bad astrology based on my own countless experiences pls keep this in mind JLFKDJFD):
aquarians: -1/10
i actually love aquarian energy when developed SO much it’s one of my favs. esp aqua moons. but undeveloped... holy shit
undeveloped aqua energy is often accompanied by undeveloped cap energy so i think thats why aqua men r so awful
gets their heart broken once in 3rd grade and never recovers so they take it out on everyone they date after that
self victimization on water sign levels 💯😳
rly obsessed with u for the first month of dating and then they hate u
gaslighting kings
more trust issues than scorpios.. pick a struggle
[ruins your life, perception of love and mental stability] why don’t u wanna stay friends????????
great to talk to though i can’t lie, it’s really easy to have deep convos with them and they even make small talk interesting so plus one for that
tbh they teach you a lot about independence and self love so another plus one
once they develop and get over themselves they’re super loyal and fun tho but damn they take longer than any other sign to develop i swear
libras: 3/10
I LOVE LIBRAS but fuck the men
community ass (i saw this on a tiktok this is a stolen phrase but it’s right)(i’m not slut shaming btw i’m also a hoe)(this initially said dick but i realize that’s super exclusive so i’m changing it)
sends you super cute msgs that make your heart flutter but he also sent it to 18 others and tweeted it for fame
if he has one he’ll call his dick a third arm but it’s 2 inches??????????? speechless at how big their egos are in general
talks like they’re a god in bed but rly my pinky finger does a better job
would moan their own name in bed probably :/ and for what?
makes you think you have a thing together but then has a new gf a week later
they’re pretty so that gave them +100 points
but usually too attractive. and it threatens me ? tone it down u sexy bitches
they’re SO funny. no sign is funnier than libra regardless of gender and i stand by that
so indecisive tho it’s unreal?? them and geminis will play with your own feelings undeveloped bc they don’t know their own
geminis: 7/10
ive had so many geminis break my heart but i cannot bring myself to give them a low rating they are so hot funny and everything i want in a person</3
ceos of ghosting. will ghost you for a month and come back acting like you’re still dating and everything’s fine
super into you for like two weeks and then dumps you for their ex<3
really good convos and plans great dates????????? their egos and heads are so big because it’s full of ideas :/
showers u in affection and compliments…….ceo of hyping u up and making u feel great about yourself
moody as fuck. you thought cancers were bad? wait til you meet a gemini man
comes back every venus retrograde.. they’re like annoying little mosquitos u can’t get rid of no matter how hard u try.. even bug repellent won’t work on them i’m gonna try installing a net tho
everyone hypes libas/aquarians up for intuition but tbh i think geminis are the ones with really amazing intuition in terms of air signs 👀 they’re really good at reading the room/your thoughts/etc so they know what you need/are thinking before you even say it
#also this roast only applies to men. because all they do is disappoint me#everyone else is wonderful.. endless kisses 2 the girls and nonbinary angels out here 🤍#anonymous#question
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i’m done with trying to be myself. Realizing my disorders and removing/ignoring them, trying so hard to be nice. But of course someone has the audacity to not understand or care about disorders and think of it as an excuse. even though we are both autistic there are more types of disorders in the autistic range bitch (we are different) . ADHD, OCD, ODD, ADD, Aspergus are a serious thing.
Me trying to be a bit nice controlling myself. Feel like i am treated badly. Anarchy, Hullabaloo, Quarrel, Disorders Activates. Get bullied.
Gets low spirits (depression), Listens to motivating/meaningful, calm any music, play games or do something to make me feel happy or in the good feels. Get feeling.
Watch favorite youtuber/streamer etc. (Jacksepticeye, mark, pewds, ryukahr, carlsagan42, lilipichu, pokimaine, gamegrumps, lokman, betapixl, jaiden animations, theodds1out, fakejake, cowbelly studios, tumblr reads, the anime man, TmarTn2, levelup, lordminion777, linus, game theory, gab smolders, nathaniel bandy, callmecarson, nintendrew, michael reeves, philip defranco, graystillplays, chris ramsay, ur internet mom, react by ash and more that i watch plus subscribed to lol long list)
Be yourself being a bit weird for moment because your bored or because you want to.
Either go to sleep or stay up watching vidoes/playing videogames/listen to music till i feel tired/fall asleep.
Repeat/Replay the shit everyday for years and years (12 years)
Start understanding myself and disorders over the years. Learn to control and ignore the disorders. Tell bullies that you have disorders causing these kinds of social interact/fights.Nope you still don’t care or understand. Sorry but when is a disorder in a situation like this an excuse bitch. Take medication over like 12+ years of medication (3-12 meds. Right balance and dosage) day and night.
Be born deaf in both ears then move all from one side to the other. people can’t here you properly. Sorry i hear my voice at medium level. stop shouting. bitch pick one it’s difficult for me.
Be told none loves me. blehh. boring line bitch.be called a girl because of your voice, have hair grow long very quick (like 2- 3 weeks).
Have lots bad grades due to bullying and disorders. taking adhd medication for 12 years.trying to find rights dosage then give up. The exam marks are the most shitty.
do a 1 year course just to get into degree years. assignments marks are great. but fuck have to,after 2 years, put less emphasis on exams and more on assignments.
during varsity years be get attacked on social media by bullies (ugghgh) (twitter, facebook, gmail, reddit and now apparently tumblr)
then well that’s uhh... a bit disgusting and vile or like 18+ pain and sadness for me to say. But one things is i am home alone in my parents house, waiting after 8+ months.
But bitch let me tell you something. life will throw you of the land and into the big fucking sea. wow, you are rich? OMG, guess what?. Yeet Yet Motherfucker into sea bitch. Doesn’t matter if you are rich bitch, life will still throw you into the sea. You need either learn to swim, need resources or a friend to help you stay afloat otherwise you may drown. Now i learn’t how to swim the hard way bitch, but i’m not sure about. So you need to get on the fricken level bitch.
You asked for it.
I may look fucking. oh and don’t get me started on the arms, and side of my head. the picture hides the side of my head.
#some advice for you bitch#some advice#advice#i'm so sorry#i'm done#i'm dead#fuck everything#fuck this#fuck off#fuck 2020#bullies#life sucks#life sux
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