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#Anyways I just think it is sad that some of the messaging is ‘think less about the thing you like because it’s stupid’
gamermattsgf · 8 hours
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Heyyy guys… it’s me… I’m baaackkk… 🌝 BUT. Just to explain some things.
I’m sorry for not opening my notifs and reading things I’ve been tagged in and just being my normal tumblr self atm (it’s been a while and I’ve missed my family on here fr 😔). But that’s because someone in my own personal family has just recently passed away, and also because my my final year of high school has slowly been coming to an end. My exams start in a week, which has been a pretty scary thing for me to realise.
At the moment I’ve been trying to learn to cope with this unexpected loss and also simultaneously study for said exams, meaning I have been up to 90 with stress practically every other day and felt like opening tumblr was just another chore for me to do. A chore that I most definitely neglected, hence why people thought I had disappeared into thin air.
Trust me, I’m back!! But just to let you know that my updates will probably be a lot less frequent whilst I get past this pretty important stage of my personal life. Sometimes the only thing you’ll get from my account is tumble weeds blowing in the wind.
But I feel happy now that I at least gave you my explanation as to why that may be… And to tell you that I’m halfway through the final cherry popper update in the series (who’s ready?!!! 🤫). Additionally, after I finish the rest of the ‘coming soon’ titles on my masterlist, I’ll be starting a new sort of group of oneshots called the ‘summer melancholy’ series. And yup- you guys guessed it, they’ll be a mixture of angst and romcom tooth rot (possibly some sad smut in the mix there too, but we’ll see when we get there lol).
I’m super excited to start writing something new for you guys and I feel like the summer break is the perfect time to do it- I already have my themed playlists for them ready 😔✊ but ANYWAYS, that’s besides the point hehe.
To round off, thank you all so much for being so patient with me and even bothering to message me at all to ask if I’m okay. All of that stuff means so much to me, even when I see the notifs piling up and can barely stomach to open the app. I’m still thinking of all of you lovely people positively.
I appreciate you all and love you like the stars love the sky.
So here’s my current fav Matt picture to cheer you all up: <3
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There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.
#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz#ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and#then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc.#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific#cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or#etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as#you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on#accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have#as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence#of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate#versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a#neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest#ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling#and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for#documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like#sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I#can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If#I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my#ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ??#Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be#accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor#focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it#were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan#that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is#some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my#kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means#i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m#in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in#one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability#& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER
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noisytenant · 1 year
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I feel like just telling people “consume less childrens media/YA fiction/etc” is missing the point.
A narrow, sheltered perspective on the world and its politics is what causes stupid discourse, and the simplified world of entertainment media attracts people with this mindset.
Having any kind of media as the dominant lens through which you socialize and interact with the world will leave you sidelined from reality, whether your energy is devoted to complex literature or a tv show for toddlers.
Children’s media and their fans make for easy targets because the disproportionate scale of discourse to depth is more visible, but focusing on the kind of media as the main problem seems to me similarly detached from reality. The problem is the attitude. And telling someone who clings to any kind of media as a tenuous connection to others that they’ve wasted their time isn’t really going to change their mind.
So, like, do you actually have any intention of challenging this kind of attitude, or are you just trying to feel superior to someone else?
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yououghtaknow · 1 year
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growing up is about realising every ship in skam brighton is, in a way, a failmarriage and that’s Okay
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cyborg-franky · 1 month
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Comforting their partner
I think I needed this myself, who knows.
MODERN AU - SFW Ace x GN Reader Marco x GN Reader Rosi/Corazon x GN Reader
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Ace
You’d been exchanging texts with Ace all day, and he knew you weren’t in a good place—stressed, tired, and burnt out. He spent most of his day sending you pictures of Stefan, his father's dog, and a large selection of dumb selfies and memes he’d collected.
It made you smile, made everything just a little less heavy to know he was right there for you even if you couldn't see him. You were so swamped with your chores and work that free time slipped through your fingers, leaving you further fatigued. 
You lay in bed, staring at your TV, feeling so sorry for yourself. Things just kept piling up, and you were about to burst from how much you stuffed down and pushed aside. Tears prick the corner of your eyes. You bit your lip, not wanting to just burst into tears. You looked at your phone and saw nothing. Ace hadn’t replied in over ten minutes.
Maybe he’d finally passed out or was playing another game with his brothers.
You could feel the sadness creeping in until there was a tapping on your window. You opened your eyes and stared at your curtains. The same tapping happened again, and you sat up, pulling them open and almost jumping. 
Ace was outside your window, having climbed the tree. He was waving with a huge grin on his face.
“The fuck, Ace?” you huffed at him when you opened the window, and he slid in, getting his foot stuck and falling onto the bed below with a laugh and looking up at you. “Well, sounded like you needed a shoulder to cry on,” he shrugged from where he was making himself comfortable on your bed, kicking off his boots. Both of you wincing when they thudded to the floor. 
You sighed, your anger melting away as he held his arms up. He made grabby hands as you slowly leaned in, letting Ace grab you and pull you down against him. He cuddled you up to his side, your head against his chest, and you heard the rumble of his voice and his heartbeat. You closed your eyes when you felt fingers running through your hair.
“You wanna talk about it some more?” he asked, and you shook your head, draping an arm over his waist and sighing, breathing in his smell. It was always comforting, like a warm fire on a cold night.
“Alright, wanna watch funny videos?” he suggested, and you nodded. He got comfy, arm around you, and phone in a position you could both watch. 
The night ended up in your boyfriend's arms, just the two of you, silly videos to entertain you and take you away from your troubled thoughts.
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Marco
He’d been texting you when he got a spare moment at work and worried about how you felt. He felt bad he couldn’t duck out of work to come, scoop you up in his arms, and kiss the bad thoughts away.
But he listened to you, let you vent, and even gave advice when you asked for it.
Thanks to Marco, you were currently watching a comfort show, curled up on the sofa and cuddled up in blankets as you tried to let the show distract you enough. Every so often, you’d message him. He checked in on his breaks, and although Marco wasn’t here with you, you felt connected and cared for anyway. He spoke so soothingly and calmly, like a soft breeze.
It was evening by the time he came over, knocking on the door andamiling at you, his half-lidded eyes full of love as he leaned down and kissed your forehead.
“Come on, let's go for a ride,” he said, his car still running on the drive. You could hear his music faintly from the open window.
“Okay, where?” you asked as you grabbed your phone and keys and locked up. “Just around.” 
The wind ran through your hair, his hand on your thigh, and you both listened to your music as you cruised through the peaceful evening. You were just happy in one another's company, letting the night and his comforting aura chase away the sadness. 
He knew how much you needed to get away from the noise of the world around you, driving a little ways from the city, where the stars twinkled in the sky brighter than you were used to.
You soon pulled up to a late-night food place. Marco killed the engine, the music shutting off as he nodded for you to get out. “Let's get something to eat, or at least a coffee, yoi.” Marco smiled at you before getting out of the car.
Sitting in a quiet corner of the cafe, you both shared a plate of fries, not feeling super hungry. You sipped your drink of choice as he drank his coffee.
“So, want to tell me about what happened today?” he asked, his hand reaching across the table to find yours. The weight of his larger hand on yours calmed your jumbled mind enough to pick through the mental clutter. “Well… so this happened today, and I just am struggling with it… It’s silly though.” You said with a dry chuckle, thinking he would judge you for how dumb it was, how it didn’t feel like a real problem.
“Hey,” he squeezed your hand. “If it upset you, it’s not silly, okay?” You paused, thinking his words over, seeing the warmth of his smile. “Okay,” you nodded and talked it out with him.
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Rosinante
He knew you’d had a rough time at work today; everything that could go wrong had. You were tired, exhausted, and struggling to deal with it. You messaged him on your lunch break, not wanting to vocalize what was wrong, just taking comfort in his messages.
All the heart emojis and silly selfies of him making a half-heart with his fingers, his big charming grin filling the screen as he beamed brightly. You sent one back, completing the heart he was sweet.
When you got home, feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders, the bad feelings dragging you down, making your feet feel heavier. You opened the door and took a deep breath, trying to feel better about just being home and away from the job that stressed you out,
“Hey!” Rosi said, a smile on his handsome face as he stood up, towering over you. He pulled you into a hug, keeping you close and not letting go. He didn’t want to pull away first. He wanted to give you the hug you needed.
When you managed to fight the urge to cry, you peered up at him and got a kiss on the forehead.
“I have something to cheer you up…” He said with a wink. Pulling away, he nodded to the basket on the table.
You looked through it: comfort snacks you loved, a movie you wanted to see for ages, and other little bits and pieces that he knew you loved, including a plushie you held to your chest and smiled back at him. “Thank you so much, Rosi. I love you.” I love you too, and I hope it helps even a little!
You spent the evening cuddled on the sofa, happily eating your snacks, wrapped in a blanket, watching the movie he’d bought. Rosi gently rubbed your leg, trailing fingertips up and down your skin to keep you relaxed and calm.
He knew you’d talk about it when you were ready. He was never the type to push or ask, knowing that when you felt up to it, you’d talk it out with him, and when you were ready to share, he was ready to help you. He took your hand and brought it to his face, kissing your knuckles. “How do you feel?”
“Much better, thank you.”
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last-herondale · 25 days
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Almost Pt. 2
Bucky POV (W/ FemReader)
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Angst, heartbreak, sadness
Tw: some mild curse words
AN: Hellooooo. I had an idea for a part two! Two fics in one week? Who do I think I am? 😳 anyway here is Bucky’s point of view on what happened after part one! Will link below! Maybe this will be a new series? Idk feeling ambitious 🤣
Part 1
Part 3
Enjoy 🤘🏼
It had been six weeks since Steve’s party. Six agonizing weeks of silence. Forty-two days of not hearing your voice. One thousand and eight hours of not seeing you smile at my stupid jokes. Sixty thousand, four hundred, and eighty minutes of not seeing the light dance in your eyes whenever you saw me enter the room. Three million, six hundred thousand twenty eight, and eight hundred seconds since I saw you walk away from me during that party after confessing your love for me.
You said you needed time. I respected that. I understood that.
After you bared your soul to me, I told you what I thought you needed to hear. That I wasn’t good enough for you. That you deserved better. It was difficult to stand there and see the light die from your eyes as I said these things. It was painful to see you cry, knowing that I had been the one to cause you that pain. But it was devastating for me to realize that despite how much I loved you, how much I cared for you, that the words I said were still true. Agonizingly so.
I expected that this type of honesty would destroy our friendship. Even though I still held out hope in my selfish mindset that we could continue on like we had in the past. Spending our free nights together, laughing, joking, having fun together, sharing memories, crying, hugging, everything we used to do…
But of course, those dreams had not come into fruition.
When you volunteered to be shipped out of the country for a mission the day after Steve’s party, I knew it was to get away from me. And despite my frustration and worry about you leaving on some dangerous mission without me in the state you were in, Steve assured me that you would be fine. He didn’t know the extent of what happened, but Steve being the inquisitive son of a bitch he is, he was able to connect some of the dots at least. Surprisingly he didn’t lecture or judge me. I was expecting to get an earful from him about how I treated you, led you on, and hurt your feelings, but in return I got nothing.
The mission was only supposed to last for two weeks, but as the days grew longer, the whole team was on edge when the two of you didn’t return. Steve kept communications with Tony, and he would pass along the messages to the rest of us. “They hit a snag. They are safe but they are bunking down for a bit.”
I felt like I was on pins and needles. I just needed to know you were safe, that you were okay. I must have looked worse for wear around the tower, because even Nat noticed and had a conversation with me in my room. It was a little strange. Having her back in my apartment, alone, her fiery gaze still as piercing as it was when we were together. But those feelings I held for her were gone. Something else lingered there, a fondness for the time we had, but nothing more.
I knew she was your best friend, so I assumed you told her everything about what happened at the party, but when she came into my apartment with a stern gaze on me, arms crossed and all, all she said was.
“I don’t know what happened the other night at Steve’s party, but you need to stop moping and get a grip.”
“I’m fine. Stay out of it,” I said with an icy tone.
Nat just rolled her eyes and jabbed a finger at me. “If you don’t feel anything for her, then stay away or get your shit together. She cares about you too much to walk away from you, Bucky.” Nat’s voice grew softer as she thought of you. “Whenever she comes back, and she will come back, she needs to heal. She cannot continue to be your emotional support puppet. It's draining her, James. Every time she returns from hanging out with you I see less and less of her return. She cannot continue to give you all of her heart when she is receiving none of it back.
“So for her sake, please, let her go.”
It was a hard thing to hear, but it was necessary. I stopped driving myself mad with when you would return. It was difficult, maddeningly so, but after another week I was able to distract myself enough with other things… other people. I did a few missions here and there, nothing that took me out of the country, but it filled some of the time I had to think about you.
I spent time with Nadia, the girl I had gone on a few dates with, the girl I had broken your heart over. Our relationship was purely physical. She was another distraction, someone to pass the time with. She didn’t seem to mind the distance I put between us. We weren’t exclusive by any means, and she was free to explore all of her options, but that was as far as that would go. Not that I could ever tell you this, even though I wanted to.
That was the shittiest part of it all. I missed you. Constantly. I missed talking with you about every single part of my day. I missed hearing about your day, or the silly little thoughts that swirled in your curious head. I missed spending my weekends with you, staying up until the sun rose, seeing you curled up in a ball on my couch, sleeping so peacefully. The ache in my chest never ceased, but I was able to drown away the thought of you for moments at a time.
And then you returned.
It was like a blow to the heart, seeing you standing in the kitchen, casually making yourself a bowl of cereal. Your skin seemed tanner than when you left. Clearly you had been somewhere where the sun kissed your skin for long periods of time. You looked beautiful, even just in your morning casual wear. You hadn’t noticed me yet. I was frozen in the entryway, trying to think of something intelligible to say to you, when Steve walked in through the other way. He too had not noticed me yet, his skin also sunkissed and a bit long.
I opened my mouth to speak, but before any sound could come out, I watched as my best friend slid his arms around your waist, turned you around in a swift and gentle motion, and kissed you. Ice filled my veins and it felt as if a rock had dropped in my stomach. I staggered backwards a bit, hiding myself more in the darkness of the archway as I saw the scene unfold.
Steve was kissing you. His hands were gentle around your waist, and although you were taken by surprise in the moment, you stood on your toes to be more on his level. You cupped his face and smiled. You were smiling. You looked…happy.
I slipped away back down the hallway and into my room before I could see more. The image of my best friend kissing the love of my life was burned into my mind. I sat on my bed in a disgruntled mess, fighting the strange waves of feelings that were swirling in my body.
You were finally back. You were safe. At that I was able to release the tension in my chest that I had been holding since you left. And then… Steve. What had changed during those six weeks you were gone? Was it serious? Did you love him? Did he love you? These questions paced back and forth inside of my brain until I was nearly dizzy.
It was the memory of Nat’s voice that stuck out amongst my own thoughts. “Let her go.”
You had been happy in that kitchen. Steve was a good man, too good to play with someone’s feelings if he didn’t truly feel something for them. Steve was good for you. That’s what I wanted, wasn’t it? The reason why I broke your heart in the first place? To set you free to find someone that would love you in all the ways I was incapable of doing. Why was I mad that you had done that? Why did I want to punch Steve for kissing you?
I clenched my fists as I sat on the bed. My body shook with so much emotion. In the torental storm that was my mind, I tried to focus on one memory. The only one that mattered. That night on the balcony. You had stood there, hair swirling in the breeze, more beautiful than the night sky. And you said it.
“I’m in love with you.”
The words calmed me. The memory of that night grounded me. Your tears. Your sadness. Your anger. I caused that. “I’m in love with you.” That is what you told me. And even though I wanted to scream it back, to shout it from the roof that I loved you too, instead I denied you. I threw it back in your face to save you from what I am. I hurt you, and this was my punishment. Seeing you pick up the pieces of that love that I shattered and give it to someone who would nurture that love.
I sat there thinking and thinking, until my head was pounding. I laid down on my bed, the image of you kissing someone else burning in my head.
“I’m in love with you too,” I muttered to myself.
Then, as tears began to silently fall down my face, I began to laugh.
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tragedy-of-commons · 14 days
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aventurine x gn!reader | wc: ~1k
He needs to go before he decides that he needs to stay.
tags/warnings: cute domesticity, but since it's aven it has to be a little angsty, skin drawing/inking, mentioned topaz
notes: standalone but i'm thinking of expanding on this universe in the future :3c sdfsdfsdf not happy with how it turned out but fuck it
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The ballpoint tip of your pen glides over his hand, leaving another trail of red in its wake.
Aventurine watches with rapt attention. The intricate patterns of swirling ink that you insist on marking him with definitely make it harder to color-match an outfit - but he indulges the habit anyway. Perhaps it’s the artificially sweet aroma that’s typical of such cheap writing utensils; he’s now accustomed to the smell of chemically-grown raspberries while you use him as your canvas.
It’s tolerable, seeing you poke out your tongue in concentration while doodling with no rhyme or reason. Some strokes are thick and jagged, wrapping around the myriad of thinner ones to create a picture he can’t discern. 
(However, when you usually finish, you beam in satisfaction. He doesn’t peg you as the abstract type, but he wonders what you see that he can’t.)
His phone vibrates twice in his free hand. The new messages that grace the screen are of no surprise:
Topaz The booking’s confirmed. I handled it and was able to score us better rooms ✨
Topaz Cruor V is too cold to skimp out on the suites with thermal heaters. Now if you could just be on time for once, that’d make my job a LOT easier.
You hum, sage. “Time to go?”
Aventurine makes a show of examining your handiwork after you pull away from him. “Unfortunately, the IPC’s gains take precedence. Although, I could argue that dedicating my time to the arts is much more valuable in the long run.”
“Hah,” you snap the cap back onto the pen. “If you argue much longer, you could make somebody mad. Don’t let my silly doodles keep you, okay?”
There’s a sad smile on your face, and though it doesn’t deter him from leaving right now, he knows that he’ll count each star separating you from him while he sleeps alone on business. He’ll do so with his gloves off, fingers tracing over the faded curves and dips of red - theorizing how many rainstorms it would take to wash you from his person completely.
He finds himself hoping that he’ll never reach a consensus. Aventurine really hasn’t gotten any better at fooling the wide-eyed child clawing at his insides. 
“Yes. That Topaz is probably wishing unspeakable curses upon me right about now,” he lilts, the beginning of the end on the horizon. “See me off?”
“Don’t make it sound so grim,” you complain, “I’m just gonna miss you. You’ll be back on the 24th, right?”
You say it so casually. If he had any less restraint (or any more courage), he would let out a breathy laugh and then chase it with a kiss to your lips. In the past, honey-trapping had come natural to him when he was on assignment; wrapping an arm around the ambassador of an indebted planet, using the bells and whistles of his disposition to make friends with the right people.
You’re not any of that. You’re not any of that, and he knows. It would be pathetic if you knew how much sway you hold over him - how much sway that this pantomime of a relationship holds over him.
Though the scales are forever tipped in his favor, Aventurine finds that it’s woefully unfair. You appear as nonplussed as him; wordlessly letting him into your home at any hour, always cooking for two, and always decorating his skin with that accursed red pen. 
If that makes you cruel, he cannot begin to imagine what it makes him.
“Keen memory,” he brings himself to stand, “Wonder what changed.”
“My memory is fine, thank you very much.”
He cocks an eyebrow.
You flip him off. “Forgetting a few deadlines isn’t substantial evidence!”
Aventurine chuckles, ambling over to the table by the door. On it rests his gloves, which he pulls over his hands. If the ink stains the fabric inside, no one will be able to tell. “Then I’ll make sure to amass a comprehensive portfolio of ‘evidence’ while I’m gone.”
He’s already dressed and presentable for this assignment. In truth, he could have spared Topaz the headache of his tardiness, but what’s the job of Director without a little challenge? He’s sure it will count towards her experience and character, and you get to scribble on him without the constraint of time.
You pad over, embracing him tentatively. Aventurine dithers between pulling you closer and pushing you away, before he settles on doing nothing. His heart isn’t racing, but it feels too small and too big and too full of you. 
“That better be a promise,” you murmur.
(He smells raspberries. He can’t decide if it’s therapeutic or noxious.)
If he were a more selfless person, maybe he’d tell you that promises never go over well for him - that you shouldn’t bother with any of this. After all, ruling a gambler’s heart only serves to turn you into a bargaining chip.
But Aventurine basks in your warmth anyway, letting his shoulders droop. “If you’re so hung up about it, then why not?” 
His phone buzzes somewhere again, and he’s cold as you pull away. “Perfect. Good luck on your.. uh, thing! Tell Numby I said hi.”
“What is it with you and that animal?” he heaves a martyred (fond) sigh. 
You huff. “Warp trotters are cool, Aven!”
“Not when they mercilessly chew up your clothes.” 
Your demands for more information fall on deaf ears, because it really has become time to go. Interastral travel is bothersome, but not so much anymore - meaning that if he’s not at least an hour early, he’s inconceivably behind schedule. His own reasoning tastes acrid.
That note of something has been with Aventurine ever since he woke by your side, searching your sleeping expression aimlessly. He’d chased the feeling with coffee in one of your stupid mugs, a conversation about your too-bright dreams, and letting you scrawl all over him when he desperately needs to go.
He’s ferried past the door, another farewell echoing behind him before he starts walking. The idle images that plague his mind are of stained gloves, the interior of your bedroom, and the calendar in your kitchen with the date of his return circled in red.
You wave to him from the window as he turns the corner. 
He wagers he'll be back on the 24th. 
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taglist: @hanyi-writes, @karagatan02, @aphrodict, @nomazee
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onlymingyus · 18 days
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Guilty (teaser)
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pairing; kwon soonyoung x f reader / lee jihoon x f reader
genre; smut (minors dni), angst, toxic, fluff
summary; you and soonyoung learn that the storm can only be weathered for so long before you need a lift raft to hold on to. but what happens when neither of you reach for each other in that storm?
warnings; cheating, toxic relationship dynamics, car accident, injuries, hospital, arguing, eating/drinking, pet names, crying (from pleasure and sadness), unprotected sex, oral (m & f receiving/giving), fingering, marking/biting, impact, dom!jihoon, dirty talk, less than ideal sexual experiences, i mean...there is just a lot -- i probably missed something.
w/c; 23.6k ( 1.3k and some change -- this teaser)
a/n; thank you so so much to my @onlyhuis for proofreading and being my rock while i wrote this bitch. this one was out of my comfort zone but i really wanted to try to dive into angst and something a bit more toxic with my plot. i hope you enjoy it.
this fic will be released sunday 4/14 at 3 pm est to read it now subscribe to my patreon and click here
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3 missed calls from Soonyoung❣️
Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you sigh at the notification on your lock screen, thinking about the number of times you had tried to call him the day before only to get his voicemail. You think about the number of text messages that you have sent as you unlock your screen, looking at the four messages waiting for you. 
When Soonyoung told you about his job opportunity, you were excited for him. Dancing was his life and his biggest passion, with teaching coming in as a close second. The main drawback of the job offer was that he would be gone for a year and be in another country. 
Promises had been made to one another in an attempt to make the distance easier. You both promised to visit when you could and to keep in touch every single day. Things were easier said than done, it would seem. 
Soonyoung ❣️: I got in late. 
Soonyoung ❣️: I know you are going to be mad at me. 
Soonyoung ❣️: Call me when you wake up
Soonyoung ❣️: Love you 
You sigh, laying your phone down next to you after reading over the messages. Lately, they were all starting to look the same. There was always a “I got in late” message waiting for you and a “call me when you wake up" message waiting for you after a day of trying to keep in touch on your part. You knew he was working hard, but so were you. 
Sliding out of bed, your phone in tow, you leave it on the counter as you turn on the shower, letting the bathroom fill up with steam. It wasn’t like Soonyoung would know the exact moment you woke up anyway. He barely remembered the local time anymore, much less your schedule. He had made you wait. Now he could wait. 
Soonyoung knew he should be asleep. He had to wake up early to get to the studio but he was staring at his phone and hoping you would call him. He had checked the time back home at least five times and it was a Tuesday, which meant you had to get ready for work soon. 
Sighing loudly, Soonyoung scrolls back through the text messages that he had missed from you throughout the day. He hadn’t meant to ignore you; he never did. Time wasn’t his greatest ally lately and long days had turned into even longer nights. 
Y/N 😘: Hope you are having a good day babe 
Y/N 😘: Missing you 
Y/N 😘: Hope class has gone well. You are amazing ❣️
Y/N 😘: I’m going to bed 
Y/N 😘: Hope I get to talk to you tomorrow. I love you 
Kicking his legs out from under the covers, Soonyoung knocks his head back against the headboard. He groans under his breath as he gives in to his impatience, pressing down on your name and placing the phone up to his ear to listen to it ring. One ring, two rings, a third, and then your sweet voice tells him that you can’t come to the phone. Were you ignoring him? 
The sound of your ringtone makes you furrow your brows, your eyes closed, as water runs down your face towards your lips. You were almost done with your shower but you were almost certain you weren’t hearing things, especially when your phone rings for a second time. Wiping the water from your face, you rush to get out of the shower, wrapping a towel around you, just as the second call from Soonyoung goes unanswered. 
He had begun to turn over, a scowl on his face, when his phone lit up with a picture of your face. Staring at his phone for a few seconds, Soonyoung presses his tongue against his cheek before finally answering. 
“Hello?”
You could hear the disappointment in Soonyoung’s voice and for a split second, you felt a pang of guilt. You forget about the number of calls that went unanswered the day before as you lean against the counter with a frown on your face. 
“Hey, sorry, I was in the shower.” 
Shrugging, Soonyoung also seems to forget how bad he felt about missing your calls and not responding to your text until late. Instead, he just thinks about himself and what he is feeling at the moment: frustration. 
“Yeah, well, I asked for you to call me when you woke up, but I guess you didn’t check your phone.”  
Looking down as water drips onto the tile, you feel Soonyoung’s words eat at your heart until you remember waking up and seeing your own messages from the day before. You remember listening to his voicemail time and time again, as you hoped he would pick up the phone even for a moment to say something to you. 
“I did check it.” 
Furrowing his brows, Soonyoung is taken aback by your sudden shift in attitude towards him. He had expected an apology and maybe your sweet, comforting voice to lull him to sleep but clearly that wasn’t happening. 
“Oh? So you chose to ignore my messages and calls?” 
“Like you chose to ignore mine, Soonyoung? Seriously…” 
Your voice trails off as tears begin to well up in your eyes. There had been too many days recently that had started much like this one. You wanted to talk to your boyfriend and tell him how much you missed him, how much you loved him, and how proud of him you were that he was living his dream, but instead the two of you ended up in an argument. 
Swallowing hard, Soonyoung closes his eyes as he sits up in his bed, running his fingers through his hair and listening to the sounds of your breath through the phone. He could tell you were crying. He had heard it enough times over the phone at this point to know exactly what it sounded like. 
Now he was remembering seeing his phone light up throughout the day and checking it to see another missed call or text message from you. He remembered promising himself to call you back on the next break, only to get into a conversation with someone and lose track of time. 
Shaking his head, Soonyoung hears a soft sob over the phone as he looks out of his window at the dark skyline of the city, knowing the sun was still rising where you were. He would give anything to be there with you now, to be able to hold you and to make this better but instead he was on the other side of the world and it felt like he might as well be on another planet. 
“I’m sorry, baby. I–look, I don’t know what is wrong with me. It was a long day and when you didn’t answer my brain, just–” Shaking his head, Soonyoung stops to take a breath, deciding to stop giving you excuses. “I’m so fucking sorry. I love you so much.” 
This was the part when you would normally fold and tell him how much you loved him and forgive him. You always forgave Soonyoung because he was working so hard and you knew it was important but you were starting to feel like you were less important. Wiping your cheek with your free hand, you shake your head and bite at your bottom lip as Soonyoung whines your name when you don’t speak to him right away. 
“I have to get ready for work. I love you too. I hope you get some sleep.” 
Closing his eyes, Soonyoung lets out a breath, feeling his heart sink at your words. You hadn’t accepted his apology and you hadn’t wanted to hear his excuses. You just wanted off the phone, and at this point, he couldn’t blame you. 
“I–yeah, sure. Have a good day, babe.” 
The sound of the call ending before you even say goodbye is what stuns Soonyoung the most. Dropping the phone into his lap, he stares at it for a moment, your picture looking at him from his lockscreen before the display goes dark. 
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empressdede · 2 months
Text
Disrespectful
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Chapter Two
After that interaction, London tried her best to create some distance between her and Roman. She would avoid his calls, texts messages and if she did finally get back to him, she would decline any outing he would invite her to.
She didn’t trust herself around him. She knew the longer she kept herself around him, the more she would want to jump his bones. The little moment between them made her feel like a horny teenager all over again. She had no business at her big ass age of 34, dry humping another man against the wall like she was some 16 year old virgin. And even though that’s all that they did; she couldn’t shake the memory away.
The way he held her up against the wall with ease, the way he grunted and groaned softly in her ear, and especially the way he demanded that she cum for him. Every time the thought entered her mind, It made her body shiver with want.
And that’s where her problem lied. She knows that she wants Roman; no matter how many times she tries to push it to the back of her head.
“You can’t keep avoiding him, London. Be a grown up and tell that man you need your space.” London’s sister, Nora, advised.
“I don’t have to do anything but be black and die when the time comes Nora. If I don’t want to talk to Roman right now, then I’m not. What we did at that party - his wife’s party no less - was a mistake. We’re both happly married and it needs to stay like that.”
“London, you’ve been with James since forever. Don’t you think this is your body telling you to venture out and try new things?”
“James is a good man Nora. I’m not going to ruin my relationship with my husband just because I’m feeling like I want a quick fix somewhere else.”
Nora rolled her eyes. “Girl, if James was beating the pussy up like he supposed to be doing, you wouldn’t have ran off with Roman in the first place. Then you ran off to go dry hump that man, bitch you ain’t never heard of no quickie?”
“Nora-“
“Bitch I’m being serious. If you was gonna step out anyway, you might as well have went out with a bang. Vibrator to the clit while he hitting it from the back & that 20 minutes could’ve been a whole fuckin round.”
Images immediately flashed through her mind as she thought about it. Her dress bunched up at her waist as he thrusted inside of her at a quick pace. Bodies close together so he could keep the vibrator to her clit and she could practically hear his voice in her ear. “I barely even started and look at you about to cum for me.”
London let out a sad sigh. Her sister’s didn’t help her with trying to push Roman to the back of her mind. If anything, Nora kept trying to push her straight into Roman’s arms.
“If I see him, I’m going to fuck him.” She admitted and Nora shrugged.
“So do that. James will always be here and who knows; maybe this is just a phase and you need him out of your system. Whatever the case may be, I say go for it.”
“You’re not even trying to give me good advice Nora. You keep telling me to cheat on my husband.”
“You already cheated girl and I wasn’t there to tell you that. You cheated emotionally and physically, you might as well just go all the way.”
Her sister’s words echoed in her head and she thought about it for a second, what it would really feel like to go all the way with Roman. She just knew he would snatch her breath away. She could almost feel him, a picturesque expression on his face as he took her hair into his hands pulling it towards him to stop her from hiding her moans. Damn…. She really did see it and even though she yearned to fall into temptation, London decides that she was going to stand on business.
She had a husband for everything she thinks she wants Roman for. She also decided that since she was going to be the woman she promised to be as a wife, she was going to throw herself into her work. What better way to distract herself from temptation than to work?
But Roman though? He was getting tired of waiting on London. He considered himself a realist - if he was going to be cheating on his wife, he was going to fulfill all the fantasies he had about London. They’ve tried to deny their sexual attraction towards each other for almost two years now; if she didn’t want him the same way he wants her then what happened two weeks ago wouldn’t have transpired. So after being ignored for two weeks, Roman decides he’s had enough. If London didn’t want to see him, so be it. Now he was going to go see her…. and with how distant she’s been he knew exactly where to find her.
"Mrs. Murphey, we have a Mr. Heyman downstairs waiting for you. He says it’s an emergency." Mariah states as she walks into London’s office. London lets out a tired sigh; she knew she didn’t have long before he started sending his minions to do his dirty work.
"Tell him I’m busy." London responds to her without even lifting her head to acknowledge her assistant. She didn’t really have time to entertain that bullshit today.
"Don’t seem that busy to me." She heard from where her assistant stood and her head snapped up to see Roman standing behind Mariah. And poor Mariah, she really tried her best, bless her heart but she knew when it came to Roman himself, he was going to finesse his way up here one way or another.
"Um sir you can’t be he-" Mariah tried to speak but Roman cut her off, keeping his dark brown orbs locked on London.
"You ready to talk to me like an adult?" He questioned. Mariah looked between the two of them, obviously sensing the tension but if her boss said she was busy, then she needed to get rid of this Mr. Heyman guy.
"Sir, you can’t be here. I’m going to have to ask you to leave or else I’m going to have security escort you out the building." Mariah warned. Roman stared at the younger woman in front of him with a blank face for a couple of seconds before laughing in her face.
"Okay lady, if you could close the door behind you, that would be great." He instructed, walking right past her to stand in front of London’s desk.
London finally snapped out of it when she got her over her feeling of shock from seeing him. "You don’t get to walk in here and tell my employees what to do. In this building, there’s only one person who runs it and that’s me." She enforced, getting up from her seat to glare at him. "Just like I can’t walk in yours and start telling Paul what to do."
"London-" Roman tried to speak again but was cut off by London’s assistant again.
"Um… Sir, you still need to leave."
"You can close the door behind you Mariah, you can leave. Let everyone know that I’m in a meeting and will be available afterwards. Come find me in 30 minutes." London instructed
"An hour." Roman replies, and this time he raises an eyebrow, challenging her to see if he wouldn’t keep her for the hour.
The two stared at each other for a while in silence, both of them challenging the other. London knew herself, an hour alone with Roman and she would be stepping out of her marriage. She also didn’t want him to think he had any power over her with his dumbass suggestion of having an hour of her time instead of 30. And as much as she didn’t want to admit it, the longer they glared at each other, waiting for the other to succumb in defeat, her sister’s words were ringing in her head.
"Maybe this is just a phase and you need him out of your system."
London finally rolled her eyes in defeat, turning to look at Mariah; "An hour. And not a second less."
When Mariah left, Roman let his eyes roam around her office. "You’ve been cooped up in here, I bet."
"What are you doing here Roman?" London asked getting straight to the point.
"You haven’t been texting me back for a while. So if you don’t want to talk over the phone, you definitely want to talk in person." Roman turned his head back to face London. "I can’t get you out of my head London, I keep hearing you cry out for me and when I try to call you to … talk… you don’t even pick up."
"Because you’re married Roman. To Tiara, not me. What we did a couple of weeks ago was a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened."
"If that were the case, you wouldn’t have worn the panties I bought for you."
The room got silent, energy in the room changing as they stared each other down. London really didn’t want to fall into this trap. That’s what Roman was, coming in here with his tight collared shirt and slacks just to tempt her. A walking fucking trap.
“You could’ve just walked in wearing anything; But you didn’t.” Roman started, walking around the desk in slow calculated steps. Like a predator stalking its prey.
London watched him, and she couldn’t move even if she wanted to; it seemed as if her feet were glued to floor the closer Roman got to her. “You wore my dress and you put on those pretty panties just for me. It wasn’t a mistake… you wanted to cum for me that night; tell me I’m lying.”
With Roman standing right in front of her, she couldn’t really think. His scent was clouding her senses, she should be moving away from him, fighting her temptation. But he was telling the truth, she wanted him that night. Still wants him, she just doesn’t know how to go about it.
“Roman.” She whispered out but Roman didn’t want to listen to anything she had to say unless it was her crying out for him again.
“Tell me.” He demanded quietly, his hands moving to hold onto her waist to pull her into him. A gasp slipped through her lips, her eyes closing when she felt his nose trailing up her neck.
He planted a kiss under her ear before whispering in her ear, “Tell me you wanna cum for me London and I can make that happen for you.” He rasped out.
And she could practically hear Nora now.
Bitch stop fighting and fuck him already!
It was obvious Roman wanted her just as bad as she wanted him, and London was a weak woman.
“Make it happen then.” She replied almost challengingly and it caused Roman to smirk against her skin because he came on a mission.
________________
"Fuucckkk" She loudly moaned when he pushed himself back into her. Legs on his shoulders with his hands holding onto to the back of her thighs. The immense feeling made her forget she was still in her office, where if anyone got close enough, they could hear her. But Roman didn’t give a single fuck. And when he leaned forward, pressing his body closer to hers, which pushed her legs closer to her chest making it easier to get deeper she couldn’t help but get lost in the pleasure.
Loud moans were flying out of her mouth, and Roman’s eyes stared down into her with a dark look in them. She knew exactly what he was doing, that look told her everything she needed to know. He was trying to find her spot, with no other intensions other than abusing it until she was cumming in waves for him.
"You done runnin’ from me?" He asked tauntingly, and she knew he wasn’t talking about running from him during the activity they were currently partaking in. He wanted her to give into him every single time they had the chance to be like this.
He slid his hands down her thighs and pushed them down as close to her chest as they could get, looking down between them to watch his dick slide in and out of her enjoying the small white ring of cream she left coated on him. He slowed down his pace purposefully to sew how loud she would get whenever he hit somewhere new. London couldn’t remember the last time she felt like this.
She tried to bite onto her lower lip to keep from screaming every time he went in deeper. Muffled moans came from her, nails denting his skin as she latched onto his back. Roman looked back up to watch her, eyes squinting as he studied her expressions and slightly moved to the left to hit a new area. He felt her clench around him and watched her eyes water from that specific spot. Found it
"Ouuu shit." She cried out.
"Right there?" He questioned as if he didn’t already know.
"Yesss, right there." Roman started moving against it, poking at her spot faster and faster as he let one of her thighs go and slid his hands up her stomach and breasts until he reached her neck. She let another loud moan as he loosely squeezed her neck.
"You never answered my question, you done runnin’ from me?"
London wrapped her arm around the leg he let go so she wouldn’t be so sore, she was so lost in the pleasure she almost didn’t hear him. "Huh?" He questioned, as he kept poking at her spot even harder now staring right into her eyes. She kept eye contact, responding by moaning louder and nodding her head.
"I can’t hear you, you done runnin’ from me London? Huh? When I ask you to come see me, you gon come see me right?" He asked, squeezing her neck a little tighter as he thrusted even faster.
He could’ve asked her for the world in the same moment and she would’ve agreed to give it to him. That’s how good he was making her feel.
Tears spilled from her eyes as she felt her stomach tightened and she clenched down on him. "Yessss, I’m done runnin’ Roman Please."
"Please what? Tell me."
"I-" She was cut off by her own loud moan, feeling her eyes roll to the back of her head. Roman continued to relentlessly pound into her, pushing to make her cum for the fourth and final time.
"C’mon baby, beg for that shit." He teased, enjoying the mess he was leaving her in. This was what he wanted to do to her the first time and he was glad he was able to redeem himself. The only thing that could be heard were their heavy breathing, her constant moaning and their skin clapping against each other’s.
"Please. D-don’t stop please" She stuttered out as she felt her legs start to shake; she was on the verge of cumming again - this time she knew it was going to me much more intense then the last one.
"You gon cum for me?" And he really didn’t need to ask, she placed her hand on his stomach to try to get him to slow down. Roman let go of her neck and quickly used his thumb to rub on her clit as he hit her spot over and over again. Her hand slipped from his stomach and she tapped on the desk, she couldn’t hold it anymore.
At the sight of her literally tapping out, he smirked and it did nothing but boost his ego. "Go head baby, cum for me." He permitted and with a silent scream she let her body arch off her desk and came all over him. He let out a groan at how tight she clenched around him and quickly pulled out of her and stroked himself with a few pumps and emptied himself on top of her; staking his claim.
If cheating on his wife felt like this - he didn’t give a damn about the consequences.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s been a minute huh? Here’s the second part - and I promise you guy’s wont have to wait that long for the next part😭😭
Comment if you want to be added to the next part and please show me some love🥺🫶🏾
Tagging the lovelies: @whatdoeseverybodywant @theninthwonder @christinabae @2-muchsauce @alichesmi @pitlissa22 @sassginaswanmills @harmshake @po3ticb3auty @unfriendly--blvck--hottie @dersha89 @serena004 @reci1996 @scarlettnoir01 @venusesworld @kill-the-artiste @southerngirl41 @badbitchcentralinc @reignsboy19
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blublublujk · 1 month
Text
nobody knows (2)
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-> part 1
word count: 3k
genre: established relationship (hard dom x slutty sub)
pairing: hoseok x reader and jungkook x reader
summary:
a few minutes pass as you entertain yourself on some random game on your phone before he messages again. daddy: if you even think of actually going out with a friend i’ll chop their dick off.  me: who said it would be a man?  daddy: have fun then baby don't stay out too late! 
warnings: [please read if you are sensitive] hard dom hoseok!!, needy sub reader!!, hoseok is actually sweeter this time, cheating ig?, reader gets her period, explicit sexual content: idk how i forgot this last time but DADDY KINK, thumb sucking, blowjob, throat-fucking, pictures during sex, shy awkward virgin jungkook, sexting, cum on panties, suggestive language
a.n: i'd let this hoseok ruin my fucking life. this is so fun. can you tell he's my bias >.< tbh im making up all plot on spot i wanted to explore the actual relationship first before we see anything else of jk x reader. hoseok can be sweet... he needs to fuck the reader already!!! anyways thanks for being very patient with me. see you on the next one ^.^
—> m.list
—> find me on ao3 & twt
--
“baby.” hoseok’s lips are warm against your cheek, hot breath hitting the soft skin. “i’m off to work.”
your voice is groggy, hair a mess, but it doesn’t stop you from flinging out of bed in a pout. “already? you said we could do breakfast.”
“yeah, well plans changed. i really needa finish this song i’m working on. i’ll be back before dinner. no promises though.” hoseok doesn’t hesitate to say the words, he doesn’t look back as he fixes his collar and brushes fingers through his bed hair. an apology would be nice, but it never comes. 
this is the third time this week hoseok misses breakfast, much less makes it to dinner. somehow always managing to create more work for himself and keep busy while you rot away in the dormitory. it wasn’t fair to you, though you can’t really say you didn’t sign up for this. you knew exactly what this lifestyle came with, fame and money only meant hoseok would never truly be yours as you are his and you had to simply respect that. as sad and lonely as you can be at times. 
“but daddy—” 
“not now angel, you’ll be good for me right?” and just like that you succumb to his strong, firm demeanor. he digs his thumb into the fat of your cheeks, flicking your bottom lip. hoseok licks his own, watching your mouth take his thumb. immediately he feels your warm tongue, sucking him in like a vice, mouth so pliant and fuckable. 
he takes that as a ‘yes daddy’ the way you look up at him while you suck on his thumb like the sweet girl you are. eyes heavy and lustful. 
well, if he isn’t gonna do breakfast with you as he promised, you’ll get yours right now. two can play the same game, but only one wins in the end. something tells you that you fall victim to the game anyways, it was never yours to win. 
your hands find his waistband as you look up to him with hopeful eyes. he’ll probably be late if he plays this game, but it’s too much fun to resist. plus, which man on earth is known for rejecting a blowjob. certainly not this one. 
hoseok tugs his pants down, allowing you to pull down his boxers as his cock springs to life. he takes his thumb out of your mouth and caresses your cheek carelessly, smearing your own spit all over it. the things he would do for that face, so pretty and willing. and all fucking his.
you get to work and on your knees immediately. grabbing his cock in your hands, you lick and suck the tip while hoseok throws his head back, feeling you slurp him down. he fails to resist the temptation to fuck your throat so with no warning he holds a tight grip of your hair and forces your head down. mouth hot and tight around him, wetting his cock so nicely. 
eyes springing tears already, but alas he’s not gentle. he fucks your throat and you feel him grow larger in your mouth, drooling spit all over yourself. “fuck baby, you’re perfect.”
you moan airily, struggling to breathe as he thrusts harder, throat stretching for him and him only. just like you were made for it. 
he groans, feeling that warm wet grip swallowing around him. “just like that, such a slut for it. don’t think you deserve my cum.”
you shake your head profusely, sad-eyes looking up at him while sharp eyes mirror your own. his lips tug at the end and he’s smirking watching you desperately beg for it. 
he releases his grip, spit instantly drips from your mouth, covering yourself with your own juices. it’s a mess, but you both love it for different reasons. his dick stands tall and proud, swollen and wet around the tip. 
he starts to fuck his own fist, thanks to you, he doesn’t even got to spit on it anymore. his dick is wet plenty. he watches your lustful eyes crave for it, practically foaming at the mouth for it. though you are still gasping for air, you wish he would just fuck it out of you again. you want him so so so bad. 
your hands try to reach up at him, but he slaps them away, he isn’t rough and it doesn’t really hurt, but the warning is enough for you to drop them back down. your hands start to rub against your bare thighs, iching to release your own arousal. 
“baby’s horny?” it’s like he’s teasing you, almost laughing in your face, his cock is so close to your face you can still taste it. 
you instantly nod though with hopes that he’ll help you out. 
“yeah? you need daddy’s cock inside you?” hoseok taps his cock against your cheek, pre-cum smearing onto it. it’s cruel the way he toys with his food, but what can he do when you react so beautifully to it. you’re just too easy. 
“yes. plu-please.” you whine. 
“yes what.” he barks.
“yes d-daddy. i want it so bad.” 
you hear him hum pleased, as he continues to jack himself off, he’s getting close and you know it, because his eyes start to hood and he’s breathing heavier. all the more of a reason you wish he would just shove it in you, your pussy is dripping wet for it. if only he were to see himself, he would never stop fucking you!
“stand up.” he orders.
fucking finally.
with wobbly legs you stand and he rough pulls down your shorts. a hand still heavy on his cock, gripping the fuck out of it. 
“let me see inside those pretty panties.” 
hoseok wastes no time to nut his seed all over the inside of it, covering your bare cunt with his juices and dripping all over the fabric. you both look down as his cum decorates the inside of your panties so beautifully, both panting at the sight. “stay there.” 
the taller tugs his pants back up and grabs his phone. he pulls you in for a sudden quick kiss before he takes a picture of the mess he made. “such a perfect sub.” 
with another kiss, he puts his phone away and grabs your wrists, tugging your hands off your panties. your panties sit back so prettily and wet against your pussy now. they are sticky and it feels pretty gross against your skin, but you start to forget about it when you feel hoseok’s tongue down your throat. 
he finally pulls away with one final kiss, pulling your shorts back on. “go back to bed baby.”
“but ‘m not tired.” you mumble, still horny as ever. cunt begging for cock. anything. 
“don’t pout angel. it won’t get you anywhere. i’ll be back later. behave.” and with that, hoseok leaves to work (or so he says), leaving you wet and lonely. 
to no surprise, hoseok in fact does not make it to dinner. to your surprise, he’s kind enough to leave you a sweet text message instead though. 
daddy: [attached image] miss that perfect pussy. you’re so beautiful you know that?
me: you missed dinner
daddy: that’s no way to talk to me angel  i said no promises
me: yeah well, i’ll just have dinner with a friend instead ig
daddy: who? 
me: wouldn’t you love to know.
daddy: you know i’ll find out anyways?  like you could hide anything from me
me: you’re an ass
daddy: you are what you eat
you don’t bother to reply nor entertain his not so funny jokes, but your phone buzzes again to absolutely no surprise. however the following message makes your heart fall straight out of your ass. 
daddy: i’m sorry angel.  i promise to be home for dinner tomorrow. is that better? 
the pit of your stomach burns, really it’s the bare fucking minimum, but you can’t help the way it flips into butterflies. a smile forming on your face. 
me: yes daddy
daddy: good girl the very best
a few minutes pass as you entertain yourself on some random game on your phone before he messages again.
daddy: if you even think of actually going out with a friend i’ll chop their dick off. 
me: who said it would be a man? 
daddy: have fun then baby don't stay out too late! 
hoseok’s messages make you giggle so hard. sometimes you forget this is the person you are with, the one you share every little moment with, and the one that would absolutely kill you despite your entire past with him for thinking about someone else. someone younger, bit buffer, close to them. the person they’ve always known all their life. and here you are contemplating doing it all over again. it’s scary how thrilling it all feels. a pawn in your own game and you don’t even know it. 
luckily for you and unfortunately for hoseok, there’s no dinner and especially no friend, but there is jungkook. he’s home again, earlier than everyone, as expected. 
the younger follows the same routine he has as soon as he gets home. he immediately hops into a quick shower and doesn’t come out to eat till way later. busying himself with who knows what. 
jungkook is a bit awkward, more nervous, and careful around you since the whole movie situation, the one where your tits were out by the end of it while he was driving holes into them with his eyes. 
it makes you a bit frustrated. at this point, you're begging for attention and he hardly budges, but you also understand his fear. 
“that was good noona, thanks.” jungkook picks up his plate, rushing to wash it off and lock himself back in his room. 
you hardly ever make dinner like that, but you figured it would be a great way to pass time and an excuse to get off your ass and do something that doesn’t involve rotting away in bed, lonely and horny. and all very much alone. this way, you don’t have to be alone. this way, jungkook fills the empty spot and he doesn’t even know it. 
jungkook is quick in the kitchen and you hate it. you obviously weren’t gonna let this happen, not under these circumstances, and not in this way. not after everything. “jungkookie, can you do me a favor?” 
“s-sure.” his hands are wet from the sink as he places the plate down, eyes hesitant to look up. 
“it’s just, i just got my period and my stomach hurts. a lot.” a hand caresses your tummy lightly, putting pressure where it hurts. thankful that your period arrived after this eventful/uneventful morning. 
“oh… im sorry. can i help?” he asks to be nice, not denying you a damn thing. 
“can you massage it?” you plead without shame.
“me-e?” he stutters, pointing at himself, flushing pink.
“mhm, who else silly!” 
jungkook awkwardly laughs. “yeah okay. lay down noona, i’ll try to make things better.” 
with that your back goes on the couch while you look up at him with sweet eyes. “thank you jungkookie, it feels much better when someone else is doing it.” 
“yeah, of course.” he lamely replies. 
very carefully, you slide your shirt up, revealing much more skin than intended (not really though). the mounds of your breasts sit so pretty like this and it leaves nothing to his imagination. your underboob peaks through and jungkook holds back a sharp gasp.
he refocuses on his mission, hands shaking as he brings them closer. “m gonna touch you now noona.”
though it wasn’t his intention, his suggestive usage of wording nearly makes you moan. you bite your lip to prevent it. 
“please.” you whisper calmly, desperately. 
jungkook nods and cold hands touch your tummy. they are a bit stiff at first because he doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but he starts getting a hang of it when he hears you lightly hum pleasantly. 
he explores your skin, with every noise you make filtering his ear he finds what you enjoy and don’t. he rubs feather-like circles against your soft skin, thumbing over curves and your plushy stomach. you feel so warm in his hands and that makes him feel so good, too good. and the fact that he’s never ever done this before. jungkook thinks it's possible he can cum in his pants, just by doing this alone! he’s really, really lame. 
“feels so good, jungkookie.”
“yeah…” he strains, hands heavier on your stomach, but they warm up feeling so nicely against your skin. 
“can you- lower, can you go lower?” 
his hands are barely above, around your belly button, avoiding anything further down, not sure if it is for his own sake or yours. he’s scared and it’s obvious by the lack of movement. 
jungkook avoids your eyes as his hands freeze, hands weighing down on where he was last massaging. “wan— want me lower?”
“yes.” surely he knows what you mean. “please.” 
“oh- okay.” the younger says nothing more. 
jungkook resumes his movements, his hands going much further down your stomach, just right above your waistband. he thumbs your underwear, trying very hard to hold his breath whenever his fingertips come in contact with the thin yellow fabric whilst still rubbing patterns into your lower belly. he’s hoping you don’t hear how heavy and much faster his breathing has gotten. he’s struggling for air, face beet red. not sure if it’s out of embarrassment or his own humiliation driving him nuts. 
he’s not sure what he’s doing anymore. or what has gotten into him. it’s like his dream is set right before his eyes and yet he knows he really shouldn’t be here and doing this. much less with someone like you, but for whatever reason he can’t stop. 
“f-feels better?” jungkook asks, light-airy voice. 
“much, much better.” you reply truthfully, your stomach buzzing warmly. your eyes take in every movement on his face. from his eyes to his nose, to the way his cheeks puff as he breathes. he’s beautiful. much more when you have him this close, and nothing is stopping you from what you do next. 
jungkook’s breath hitches when he feels your soft lips on his cheek. eyes nearly bulging out his sockets because he doesn’t believe his reality. this just can’t be. no one has ever shown this much interest in him. especially not someone as untouchable as you.
it lasts no longer than ten seconds, but jungkook turns into jelly within that time. you aren’t sure why you do it, but it’s the only reasonable way you could possibly come up with to show your appreciation for all he’s done. for being sweet and patient. he’s too generous for his own good. 
“thank you jungkookie, you’re so sweet.” he doesn’t even realize you’ve already pulled away and his hands are no longer feeling your heated flesh until he’s watching you walk away, hiding behind the door to your room. hoseok’s room. yours and hoseok’s room. he shouldn’t be feeling like this, but he can’t help the way his stomach twists in knots. 
jungkook is left completely speechless, confused. 
he shamefully walks back to his own room with no other word, skipping his night routine completely. fuck skincare, he can go a night without it. he’ll manage. 
that night, hoseok arrives fairly early. well at least, earlier than usual. you’re still awake when you feel his hand on your hip, feeling his lips pecking the tip of your ear. 
“you’re home?” 
“yeah, got off a bit earlier than expected. did you eat?” he asks quietly, thoughtful enough to not disturb others. hoseok’s lips still softly kissing behind your ear, practically making you melt into the bed. if you could purr, you are more than sure you’d start purring right about now. hoseok has always been very hands-on, it’s what you adore about him. always making it known how much he wants and needs you. 
“i did. have you?” you ask to be polite, though you most likely already know the answer. hoseok may be busy, but he never skips his meals. his discipline is insane. he’s busy, but not ever enough to starve himself. he cares about his mental and physical being just as much as everything else. and he plans on keeping it that way for as long as he lives. 
“yeah. they brought take-out from that one place in downtown you like.” 
that calls for your slightest attention, shifting your face from your pillow to face him, even in the dark your eyes find his. “zuki’s?”
“mhm.” hoseok steals a kiss like this, sharing a breath as he continues. “that very one.”
“lucky.” you pout, sadly with cramps still lingering around your pelvic area. 
“yeah… i brought you some.” he says so nonchalantly. 
the older laughs when he feels you shove yourself, full force onto him, hugging him with all your might. “really?!”
“yes, left it in the fridge for tomorrow.” hoseok pauses, fingers tangled in your blow dried hair and breathes in your sweet fresh scent. “unless you wanna eat a late night meal then be my guest.” 
“well, i just got my period so...” you contemplate that damn meal, almost sorta justifying your not-so-healthy options.
“then let’s go. i’ll sit with you while you eat.” your boyfriend decides for you instead, tugging you up very gently without another word. 
there’s was nothing more to say or decide, hoseok watched as you ate the meal very pleasantly, humming here and there, devouring it all in minutes. you were a very happy, happy girl. and hoseok was a happy man watching you eat so easily. he’d do it all over again if it meant he could see that perfect smile all the time. 
and like that, you forget all about today and what made you upset. you are so stupid to think he could ever not love you and care for you. who else than him. even if you have heavily committed your mistakes, so has he, but he loves you, and nothing else matters. 
but then again, in another room, jungkook is tearing himself up for it. even though, he’s not really at fault. is he? it sure feels like it is anyways. 
at least, it felt that way after beating his cock raw and swollen. flashbacks from earlier crowding his virgin-mind. he’s so so fucked, it’s laughable. pathetic really.
jungkook tries so hard to ignore it and at first he succeeds, but then he hears a bubble of laughter coming from the room beside him and he knows he’s been beaten once again. 
“i love you.” 
“i love you too baby.” 
that’s the last thing jungkook hears before he falls into a deep sleep, eventually succumbing to his exhaustion and overthinking mess. the crowding anxious thoughts die for the first time that night.
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obliteration-onearth · 9 months
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[ not a romantic; tsukishima kei ]
he most definitely is not a romantic so.. whoever does these sweet little gestures for you is most certainly not your boyfriend.
--
ANTI ROMANTIC KEI WHO:
- scrolls on pinterest sometimes and suddenly finds something he thinks you'll like
- sends dumb messages with mean petnames like, "hurry up squirt. i'm outside your house"
- bought matching dinosaur onesies because you thought the two of you would look cute wearing it
- doesn't like double texting and needs reassurance that it's cute for him to do it
- eventually learns about all your quirks and grows fond of them despite displaying a mischievous demeanor by teasing you for them
- thinks you're cute when you hug him
- doesn't get flustered easily but bullies you when he does to make it less obvious
- may think some of your favorite foods are gross but buys them regardless when he's picking out snacks to bring to your house
- says that he's busy but helps you study and revise for your exams anyways
- says that he's the reason you passed even though he's mighty proud of you
- doesn't let you win any games at first but when he sees you sad, let's you win at least one to lift your spirits
- sends you the middle finger emoji after saying something so sickening sweet to even out the balance and to keep that reputation he has ( wouldn't wanna go to soft, he thinks )
- gets annoyed and then just turns away while being crimson in the face when you tease him for being soft
- finds it cute when you do romantic gestures for him but sometimes tell yamaguchi like "yeah, i got a cool girlfriend" or some shit
- says you're being weird for toying with/wearing his glasses and finds it hilarious when you say you feel dizzy ( catches you and tells you to be careful if you fall though )
- apologizes when you say you feel offended by something he says, thus making him write a mental note not to do it again in the future
- loves when you lay atop him whilst hugging him, your head nestled into his neck as you scroll on your phone
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digitaldiarystuff · 4 months
Text
Age Doesn’t Matter (or does it?) Pt. 2
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summary: You meet a boy at a club on a night out but realize he looks younger than he says he is
pairing: Pablo Gavi x Y/N
genre: fluff/ smut
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You woke up with a massive hangover and for a second forgot about last night. That was until you picked up your phone to a hundred messages from Pablo, Pablo Gavi.
They started with a slight denial.
“What makes you think that??”
Then got a little freaked out.
“Did someone tell you that?”
And then came the confession.
“Yeah, I am.”
But it didn’t stop there.
“Okay yes I lied but you would never talked to me if you knew, I could sense your panic while asking my age and I freaked out I’m sorry but I didn’t want to blow my chance.”
“Did I blow my chance?”
Then he got agitated.
“Are you going to leave me on delivered for ever?”
“Why aren’t you saying something?”
“Are you asleep?”
You were in shock for most of the texts but him asking if you’re sleeping via text got to you and you started cracking up. He was a little too needy and now that you know you have a 4 year age gap and he’s a football star you just couldn’t continue this. However, his infatuation with you kind of made your heart flutter, he was too sweet and persistent for his own good. One text won’t hurt, you thought.
“Yes, I’m asleep at the moment.” you said and got a response in less than a minute.
“Ha ha very funny, have I told you I have a thing for funny girls?”
“You apparently also have a thing for older girls?” you teased. His age was still a problem.
“Maybe I have a thing for you.” and when you didn’t answer “Look I really am sorry I was just afraid you wouldn’t want anything to do with me if you knew my age.” and another “You know billions of people in relationships have age gaps and they all get along well.”
“Are you only this talkative when you’re sober or did I drink too much last night?”
“Okay I understand I’m not on your best side right now but I’m free tonight if you want to meet and I can show you why age doesn’t matter.”
Your mind went blank for a second and you remembered how his hands and lips made you feel last night, you hadn’t been intimate with anyone for a really long time and to be fair, Pablo looked far more attractive than any guy around you and his text just rose your heartbeat but your obsession with his age was nagging your brain constantly.
“I’m busy” you said terrified about his effect on you.
“Tomorrow?”
“Can’t”
“The day after?”
“Can’t”
He sent a frowny face emoji and you thought it was the end of the conversation. It made you a little sad but you wouldn’t admit it but a few minutes later you got another text.
“What are you doing now?”
You stupidly thought this was just an ice breaker and said you were at home not doing anything.
“Then send me your address” he texted and you realized he wouldn’t give up easily. You mentally slapped yourself but gave him the address anyway. He said he’d be at yours in half an hour which was too little in your opinion, your home was a mess and so were you.
After taking a quick shower you weighed your options about outfits, it should be put together but not too fancy or he’d think you wanted to look good for him, which you did.
Finally you decided on biker shorts and an oversized crewneck. And you also applied some concealer under your eyes and started putting the dishes in your dishwasher and even stuffed all your clothes lying around your room to your closet hoping he wouldn’t snoop in there. Thank god your roommate was at work and you didn’t have to worry about her. As you were finishing up cleaning around the doorbell rang and you took a breath and saw Pablo on the side, your drunk mind didn’t play any games to you and he still was gorgeous. His hair was wet and he had a duffle bag on his shoulder smiling widely at you.
“Hi” he said timidly.
“Hi, come in” you said and let him in. “Were you at training?” you asked given his outfit and bag. He sat down on one side your L shaped sofa and you sat on the opposite side.
“Yeah, I came straight out of practice.”
“So when you texted me”
“Yes I was still on the pitch.” he said giggling.
You loved how much effort he put into just texting you but also hated how it made you feel butterflies in your stomach.
“Would you like to drink anything?” you asked whilst getting up.
“Just water would be fine.” he shrugged and you got 2 bottles giving him one. You hated how your eyes diverted to his biceps while he was grabbing it. He really made this hard for you.
You both took sips and didn’t talk for a moment.
“Look Pablo, I” he cut you off with a kiss. His hands found your cheeks and you reciprocated after a second placing yours on his chest. He backed down after a moment to seize your reaction. But he saw you, eyes closed and enjoying yourself so he kissed you again. This time he was much more confident in his moves, he grabbed your waist and made you straddle him like you weighed nothing, getting you more aroused. Your legs were on both his sides as you never broke the kiss. He then started kissing your chin and neck making his way around your body and you used this opportunity to get rid of his shirt.
His hands held your lower back and you involuntarily rolled your hips against him invitingly. His eyes rolled back for a second and said “Can I?” and you just nodded. He took your hoodie off and saw you weren’t wearing any bra underneath.
“I see you’ve prepared for me.” he cockily smirked and you rolled your eyes but his confidence made you want him even more. He hungrily attacked your breasts with his mouth while you were rocking your hips and pulling the hair on the nape of his neck. You could feel his bulge underneath you growing every second. He then made you lay down on the couch and went for your leggings, looking to your eyes for permission.
“Please” you said in a small voice and were shocked about how needy you were. This was new to you.
He smiled and rolled your leggings down your legs. Suddenly you felt overly exposed and reality hit for a second until he saw you were wearing a burgundy lacy thong, he smiled but kept his mouth shut. You could practically see the lust in his eyes and that made all insecurities disappear. He started toying with the hem of your underwear and you were barely able to wait.
“C’mon Pablo I need you to show me age doesn’t matter.” you whined hoping to get some action and it seemed like it worked. He didn’t even took your thong off just shoved it aside and started to pepper some kisses around your core. He also started to rub your inner thighs and when you were about to complain again, he shushed you with a lick across your folds and all your words disappeared immediately. You forgot how to breathe for a second but Pablo kept on going and going until you were arching your back and screaming his name. After you came, he wanted to give you a moment to catch your breath but he was about to explode if he stopped now. He was a goner as soon as he heard his name roll over your tongue as high pitched moans. He freed his member and started running his hands over it a few times before reaching out his pocket and pulling a condom out, you rolled your eyes again but he smirked and said “I was hoping you’d want me as much as I want you”
He put it on your entrance and checked if you’re okay with this but all you could muster was a nod. You were still seeing clouds because of the orgasm he gave you mere seconds ago. He coated himself with your juices and pushed it in. You yelped at the feeling but he wasn’t going to give you time to adjust as he started thrusting with all his power. All the practice he goes through daily made his stamina another level and his movements never slowed down only sped up and after a while you both became undone.
Both of you were still trying to catch your breaths, his head was on your chest and his arms around your waist. He looked up at you and you melted, he looked like an angel even though he did some devilish stuff to you minutes ago, his eyes were the best brown you’ve ever seen with hints of honey and his post hair sex was even more appealing than his regular hair.
You didn’t say anything but he still understood what you wanted to say and kissed your lips, not like the previous ones fueled by lust, just adoration and you smiled into the kiss realizing maybe age really didn’t matter.
————
note: okokok just hear me out, this is the first time i’m ever trying to write smut and i don’t even know what to think but i hope you enjoy it, lmk if you have any ideas
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bryngmemoney · 3 months
Text
✁FASHION FLIRT✃
Megumi Fushiguro x Reader
⭑story masterlist link
tw: death joke
Writing in between messages!!
🪡Chapter Eleven: Third Wheel
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You sat next to Megumi in a table closest to a window. He had luckily gotten his phone back from the owner who had let them film and recognized the two boys. Currently in front of you was Yuji who was going on about a story of Megumi’s past of middle school delinquency.
“You actually beat people up Megumi?” you asked, only for him to try to hide his face behind the menu, it was kinda cute. “It wasn’t.. just the ones who deserved it, and it was a long time ago anyways.”
“He’ll barely ever admit it, me and Nobara didn’t know till for a school event with our highschool we went to visit middle schools in the area and when we went to Megumi’s these two guys were so scared of him!”
“Can you not?”
You couldn’t help but laugh at their antics, “What made them deserve you beating them up?” You were interested in this ‘past life’ of his. Although still red in the face, he answered, “They were assholes, they pissed me off.” Yuji laughed at Megumi only for Megumi to respond with a grumble. “Well I haven’t known you that long, but you don’t seem like the type to purposely be a bully, so i’m sure they were assholes.”
“Did you know-” Yuji was cut off by the waitress arriving ready to take your guys order, and Megumi had to thank whatever power was out there that he had no other chance to embarrass him in front of you.
After the waitress had left, you decided to continue on the conversation with something less directed at Megumi. “So I don’t think I ever asked your majors, are you both film?” “I am” Yuji answered “It’s fun in all honesty, even with all the editing and camera stuff we got to figure out.” You gave a small hum in return, turning to look at Megumi as he began to speak “Photography, I’ve always enjoyed it.”
“Well it’s good you guys like it. It makes everything better when you enjoy it.”
“Do you like your major y/n?” Megumi asked.
“Yeah, it’s fun and I really enjoy the process! The hardest thing about being in fashion though is probably deadlines, and you have to be able to take criticism, which absolutely kills some people.” Megumi laughs a little at your last statement, “That’s Yuji.” You turned to look at him across the table, seeing him let out a dramatic gasp, then pout. “That’s you too don’t lie! You complained last semester about Haibara because he told you that you can’t just keep submitting pictures of your dogs for like every other project!”
“Shut up.”
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Author’s Note: Megumi expecting cheap prices from a restaurant only for Yuji to order more.
hope you guys enjoyed!
Taglist below, feel free to comment or dm me to be added!!
TAGLIST
@iridescentrays @gumimegz @maya-maya-56 @mamafly @lunavixia @swissy23 @coltsgf @m00nglad3-mp3 @etsukis @xosren @qtnfer @oengleli @harek89 @y-sabell-a @morgyyyyyyy @getolvr @liliumaraneae @k3lbade @aiieera @dancedancey @get0sfav @chuyasthighs0 @hyssoplampflickers @kpopanimen @sad-darksoul @vivi-loves-penguins @kasumitenbaz @talkingsperm @nymphsdomain @inlovewithlondonn
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beardedjoel · 8 months
Text
closer | part twenty one
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joel x f!reader. non-apocalypse au.
series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3
chapter summary: it's joel's birthday, and you've got one thing on your mind when you pay him a surprise visit, the first time you've seen each other in weeks. 10.6 k words. chapter warnings: 18+ MDNI, age difference (joel is 42 and reader is 25), soft!dom joel, grinding, unprotected piv, rough sex, dirty talk, praise kink, overstimulation / multiple orgasms, posessive! joel, tinitest of spit kinks (blink and you'll miss it) a/n: thanks for the patience amazing readers, this one feels like it took me ages to get posted, but i'm feeling good about how it turned out! i hope it lives up to what y'all were hoping for joel and reader! heheheh
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Birthdays have never been Joel’s favorite, and the older he got, the less he looked forward to waking up another year older. He supposes that most people feel that way as they age, anyways, and tries not to pay it much mind. He wakes up that Friday, his birthday, wishing it was just any other day. But knowing Tommy, he’ll have something up his sleeve for today, and he groans internally and externally as he sits up and climbs out of bed. If this is what being forty three feels like - back aching, stiff knees, living without the girl he loves due to his own colossal stubbornness - he doesn’t want any part of it.
Grumbling to himself as he gets ready, taking a quick shower and running his hands through his wet hair to try and have some semblance of a good appearance, Joel vows to just try to just get through the day. He doesn’t fail to notice the way he’s checked his phone several times while he was getting ready, knowing the reason why is wishful hoping that you’ll text him. The only reason he could find to care about his birthday is if it was you recognizing it, he thinks with a growing twinge of sadness in his chest. Messaging you first seems like too much, like he’s asking for you to wish him a happy birthday, and the thought makes Joel instantly cringe, the long standing pit in his stomach falling deeper.
He’d just try to make it through the day, that was all, that was his motto right now. He found himself saying that more days than not recently, though. How many more days until he just couldn’t make it through the day, until this little motto lost all its meaning?
He sighs, deep in thought as he pulls up to work for the day, expecting the worst. If there’s even one party decoration in sight, Joel swears he just might wring Tommy’s neck. His day goes uneventfully for the most part, much to his surprise. While Tommy chose to spare him on the decorations, he did bring a chocolate sheet cake to their job site for everyone to enjoy, and Joel’s thankful it doesn’t have too much frill to it. Tommy just had to have them write on it, making sure to put his age and everything out there for the world to see - Happy 43rd Birthday Joel! He swears the numbers are bigger than anything else on the cake, and he can picture Tommy requesting that exact thing at whatever bakery counter he’d ordered this from. 
Regardless of his sour mood, the cake tastes so good that Joel finds himself having a second slice, and he claps Tommy on the shoulder, thanking him for going through the trouble at the end of their workday. 
“No problem, brother. Know I love ya. You ready to head out to Murray’s?” Tommy asks, and Joel gives him a curt nod. 
Tommy had agreed to drive Joel to the bar after dropping the cake and Joel’s truck off - that way he could drink as much as he wanted and Tommy had convinced one of their site managers, Don, into being a designated driver for the night to take Joel home afterwards. Don had grumbled on, saying why couldn’t Tommy do it but he knew Tommy Miller was a drinker, and wouldn’t want to miss out on celebrating his brothers’ birthday in the only way he knew how - getting belligerently wasted.
Typically, Joel may have indulged just as much as Tommy on a night like this, especially with how much he was additionally hating his birthday this year compared to other years. If you’d told Joel this time last year he’d end up sitting with a broken, hurting heart on his next birthday, he probably would have scoffed at the idea. Joel just simply wasn’t feeling up for having more than a few beers tonight, ready to call it an early night and forget this day ever happened. 
He was already sick of watching the door religiously, a man with one prayer uttered over and over in his head for you to walk through it any minute, glowing and radiant as always, here to cure everything that ailed him right now. As far-fetched as he knew the idea was, it ate away at the back of his mind throughout the entire few hours he spent there while he tried to not be completely horrible company to be around. At least everyone else seemed to be having a good time for his birthday, he thought with a scornful chuckle to himself, shaking his head a little bit.
When he finally convinces Don to take him home, Joel feels relief as his house comes into view. He wants to just change out of his clothes, put on some TV, and binge eat cake until he falls the fuck asleep in front of the screen and can move on from his birthday. Don seems to sense Joel’s increasingly self deprecating mood, and gives him an encouraging squeeze on the shoulder, wishing him another happy birthday and telling him to get some rest.
Joel is focused now, so close to the safe, warm, comfort of his home and his little plan for the rest of his night that he fails to notice you sitting in the shadows on his porch until your voice squeaks out and nearly has him jumping out of his skin.
“Hey stranger… Happy birthday,” you say, and Joel hears your voice, so sweet and quiet, but can barely register it. You look like you’ve walked straight out a dream of his, even in the dark he can see your pretty eyes framed by your delicate eyelashes fluttering as you blink nervously, the way your dress is hugging in all the right places before it falls just around your knees. He feels like his breath is torn right out of his lungs, and he’s frozen right there, keys halfway in the lock, just looking at you. Your name slips quietly out of his lips as a question, almost unintentionally, and you straighten a little more in your seat at hearing it.
“Wh-what’re you doin’ here?” Joel asks, finally finding his voice.
“Waiting for you,” you say candidly, and Joel just blinks for a moment, looking at you.
“Hope it wasn’t long… I was at the bar.”
“I uh, I know,” you tell him, and Joel’s brow crinkles a little in confusion. “Tommy told me. Actually, he invited me…” Joel interrupts with an irritated scoff at Tommy, muttering “asshole” under his breath to his non-present brother.
“I’m sorry I didn’t go,” you say, giving him a small, lopsided smile. “I didn’t want to interrupt your nice evening with… well, me.”
Joel’s mind is spinning now, taking all of this information in. He’s still reeling from just seeing you after so long, looking just as perfect as always, and now he’s expected to have a conversation with you when he can barely think straight.
When he doesn’t respond for a few moments, shifting in place, you glance to the other wicker chair next to you and motion to it. “Want to sit with me?” you ask, giving him a hopeful smile, your eyes shining and slightly wet. Were you close to crying? Joel felt a pull in his chest at the sight of you like this.
“‘Course, sorry,” Joel replies, shaking his head a little bit to bring himself back. “Jus’ a little surprised to see ya.”
“Sorry, if it’s not a good time, I can go,” you say quickly, sitting impossibly close to the edge of the chair, ready to leave at a moment’s notice if necessary. 
“No, no s’alright. Stay, sit back,” Joel says, waving you off and finally taking a seat next to you. You end up scooting back, getting a little more comfortable as you lean back in the chair and look over at Joel, a mixture of expectation and anxiousness written on your face.
“So… it’s your birthday,” you say with a teasing glint in your eyes, and Joel gives you a playful glare.
“Would seem that way, wouldn’t it,” Joel replies with an amused huff.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come to Murray’s,” you apologize again, “I didn’t want to make it a weird thing, since we haven’t… y’know, seen each other in a while.”
“Oh…” Joel says, musing for a moment. “Yeah, makes sense. But you’re here, now.” Joel feels a smile pull at his lips as he dares to look a little closer at you, seeing the familiar features of yours that he loves so much up closer. It’s been far too long since he got to gaze at you like this, he thinks to himself.
“I am,” you say, returning his smile. “Had to wish you a happy birthday.”
“Could’ve jus’ called,” Joel teases, despite feeling beyond elated that you’d showed up on his porch tonight. “Glad you didn’t, but just hope you didn't go through too much trouble.”
“If I had just called…” you say, dragging your words out, “How could I give you this?” You nudge a box on the little table in between the two chairs you’re sitting on towards him, and it’s the first time Joel even noticed it between it being dark outside and his transfixion on your face. He smiles tentatively as he gathers the box into his hands, pulling it onto his lap and inspecting it. A bright, confetti pattern adorns the wrapping paper with a shining red bow on top. It’s neat, tidy, perfect - exactly the kind of wrapping job he’d expect from you with so much thoughtfulness put into it.
“This is… real nice,” Joel stutters out. “Thank you…”
“Don’t thank me yet, you haven’t even opened it,” you say with a chuckle. You seem nervous - Joel clocks your hands moving around anxiously in your lap, a telltale sign that you’re thinking too much. 
“Either way, even if it’s total crap in here, it looks great,” Joel says with a light laugh, one you return, and he can see your tension easing. Joel lets his fingers tuck under the flaps of the paper as he tears it open, revealing a small, wooden box. He lets his hand run along the outside, a quizzical look on his face as he inspects it.
“Open it already, you’re killing me,” you blurt out playfully, your hand going to your mouth to absentmindedly chew on a nail.
“Alright, alright, hold your horses,” Joel says, his eyes brightening with delight at the situation. He’s still not entirely sure any of this is real, but he savors the moment for another second before opening the wooden box perched on his lap.
Inside is an intricate, gorgeous set of hand tools for woodworking, neatly arranged in the box, all with their own little placeholders. Joel gapes at it, not even realizing how many times his mouth opens and closes, trying to find the words to say. He can make out enough detail on everything in the dim porch light, but he’d bet these will be even more beautiful once he can get a good look at them.
“Don’t even know what to say, darlin’... this is…” Joel trails off, picking up one of the tools and inspecting it. “This is too much.”
“No, it’s not, Joel,” you defend immediately, stiffening in the chair. You’re absolutely ready to go to war with whatever Joel’s thoughts are telling him right now.
“Y-you shouldn’t have done all of this. Don’t deserve a gift like this from you.” He shakes his head slowly, still keeping his eyes on the box in his lap, not wanting to look at you and show all the vulnerability in his eyes. 
“That’s just not true Joel, I wanted to buy this for you, show you how much you still mean to me. Close the box and look at the lid again.” Joel gives you a weary look in response but does as you ask, inspecting the lid closer, and that’s when he spots it.
“See? It has your initials, right there,” you say, reaching over to point it out to him, your hand brushing dangerously close to his, and Joel feels his heart skip slightly in his chest at the proximity.
“I see that…” Joel sighs out, finally meeting your gaze. “This is perfect, sweetheart. Thank you,” he says solemnly, and while you don’t misunderstand Joel’s reaction, you feel a twinge of sadness that he’s having a hard time accepting this gift.
“I just noticed you didn’t have a ton of tools yet when you showed me your woodworking table, and I saw all those little wooden carvings you were doing - animals and stuff, so I thought maybe you’d need this,” you explain anxiously, giving Joel a half smile.
“Yeah, y’are right about that, didn’t have everything I needed yet. Been havin’ a hard time… with the small stuff…” Joel’s voice is coming out quieter than he wants, but he’s overcome with emotion right now. He swipes his hand over his eyes, trying to get his bearings, but you keep a steady gaze on him, observing his passing emotions. Joel feels your hand on his suddenly, fingers soft and delicate as you reach over from your chair to touch him.
“I want you to have this,” you say, and Joel looks up to see your lips curved up softly, eyes gentle and looking like they’re staring right into his very soul. Your fingers wrap around his hand, still closed around the box on his lap, and the warmth from your hand alone is taking him to another place, having wished and pined for your touch for so long now.
“Alright, I believe ya, then. Thank you again, it’s really… somethin’,” Joel says, a little bit of confidence growing in his voice again, and it lifts a small weight off of your chest to hear it.
“You’re welcome, Joel,” you say, giving his fingers a squeeze before starting to pull your hand back towards yourself. Joel’s hand catches it before it even leaves the vicinity of his chair, and holds on again, gripping tightly around your fingers. 
You two sit for what feels like an eternity, just his hand holding yours, both of your eyes full of questioning, possibility, and something… more.
“I have something else… for your birthday,” you manage to say just above a whisper, your voice low and saccharine as you shift forward in your seat, sliding to the edge and standing up. You still haven’t let go of Joel’s hand, using it to guide yourself the few steps over to his seat. You fluidly guide your legs on either side of his hips and slide onto him, settling yourself to straddle his lap. Where your hands join, you guide it to settle on your hip, and Joel follows suit with the other hand, gently touching you as if he’s afraid of breaking you.
Honestly, he was. He was so afraid of that possibility that he stiffened under your weight, panic rising up in his chest. He couldn’t deserve this, he couldn’t be allowed this happiness again.
You read his tensing body immediately, and snake a hand up to ghost along his cheek, brushing gently with the back of your hand. Joel lets out a sigh at the softness of your touch, the repressed longing built up in every cell of his body finding some escape in this one little puff of air exiting his lungs. His eyes flutter closed as you do it again, flipping your hand this time to rake the pads of your fingers down his cheek and through his beard.
“I-” Joel starts, a rasp to the little noise that breaks your heart. When you look into his eyes, you find nothing there but desolation in his warm brown, and you shake your head slightly.
“Shh,” you say soothingly, leaning forward slightly, “I know. I know.” Your head goes into the crook of his neck, your hot breath alone sending a shiver down his spine before you multiply it with a brush of your lips against his warm skin. Fluttering kisses along his neck, taking your time with each one, feeling and hearing Joel sigh deeply each time your lips touch him. When you reach his ear, taking the lobe into your mouth and giving it a gentle suck, Joel seems to melt a little before coming to his senses enough to speak up.
“You shouldn’t be… don’t deserve…” Joel murmurs. You pull back slightly, nuzzling your nose against the side of his cheek, taking the other side of his face into your palm, pressing yourself as close as you can. He catches the scent of your shampoo as your hair falls forward over the back of your head, right into his face. A scent he’d started to forget, nearly panicking the day he’d realized it was happening. A scent that he could have spent a lifetime searching for in drug and beauty store aisles, knowing it could never compare to this moment right here, when it was combined with you. Joel breathes in shakily, his erratic inhales and exhales showing just how close he is to breaking down. 
“I want you, more than just this. I want you, Joel,” you say, your confession laid bare. Joel’s heart thuds so loud he’s worried you can hear it clear as day as you two sit in a tense silence. You hold yourself against him with baited breath, now just left to wait for his response.
“You mean…” Joel starts, afraid to dare the question to leave his tongue for fear of your answer. 
You nod into him. “Yes,” you breathe. “Can we… try again? I’m ready, if you want it still.” You keep your voice low, vibrating right against his ear, and Joel lets another shudder wrack his body. He feels impossibly taut, like his muscles could snap at any moment, like he could fully break. But when he hears your words, he feels an instant release, the breaking of a thread that had been pulling, pulling, pulling, these last few months, slowly choking the life out of him. It was gone now. His chest nearly ached with the sudden lightness, and he fought the urge to clutch at it, not wanting to let go of where he held your hips even for a second.
“If I want it? If I want it…?” Joel echoes in disbelief. His arms slide around to your back, folding you deeper into his embrace and he chokes back a sob. “All I’ve ever wanted… right here,” he says, tugging you even closer, impossibly close, so that you’re nearly melding together into the same person. 
“Joel…” you manage to say, choked up with your own tears now. You could never express just how right everything feels at this moment, being back in Joel’s arms, being so sure of it when you’d been riddled with every worry and anxiety about this exact moment for weeks. You knew that you’d made the right decision, there wasn’t a doubt in your mind.
“I got you, I got you, sweetheart,” Joel says, his hand now gripping the back of your head as you hang your head onto his shoulder, burying into his neck and taking in his scent with a shaky breath, quickly blinking away your tears.
You push back against his hand, bringing yourself to eye level with him and peering into his eyes for what feels like the first time all over again. The emotion swirling there is nearly unreadable - a mixture of joy, care, wonder, and lust, and it’s all being directed at you, nearly taking your breath away. Before you can think, your lips crash into his, hard at first but turning delicate quickly, wanting to really feel this moment and the weight it has for you. Joel returns your passionate, slow kisses, his tongue begging entry into your mouth nearly immediately, and you let him, your tongues dancing together in the most beautiful way as you savor each other. 
Your hips move with a mind of their own, slowly pushing forward onto Joel and back again, starting a steady grind on his lap. Joel groans so loudly you nearly jump, and you find a small moan escaping your lips when you continue going back in for more, more, more from him. 
“Fuck,” he murmurs quietly into your mouth as you brush over the now obvious hard bulge in his jeans with your warm heat. You intensify the way you’re kissing him now, wrapping your fingers tightly around the back of his neck and hooking them deeply into the dark curls lying there, tugging enough to elicit another little noise from Joel, more desperate this time. 
He uses the opportunity to pull back slightly, his heavy breathing mingling with your own.
“Are you su-“ Joel starts, but you cut him off, not even wanting him to finish the question for the fact that he’d be harboring any thoughts that you have doubts about this. 
“I’m sure,” you say with conviction, locking your eyes on his again. His eyes seem to harden with determination then, nearly going a shade darker in the dim lighting of the porch. Joel lips find yours again and he devours you, practically stealing your breath with the ferocity of it. His hands slide to your ass, gripping it tightly and bunching the thin fabric of your dress in his hands before he pushes on you, forcing you forward to grind on him again. You let out a little whimper at his forcefulness, having missed the way his hands so perfectly guide you and show you exactly what you need. How he knows exactly what you need every time may always remain a mystery to you, but you’re not one to question perfection.
You continue your steady movements on top of him, letting Joel push you forward each time, his jeans beginning to rub a perfect rhythm on your aching pussy. It’s nearly too much already, too much Joel after being away from this bliss for too long, and you break off your kiss just to bury your head in his shoulder, mewling quietly next to his ear as you quicken your pace on his lap.
“Yeah, that’s right, baby, fuck…” Joel breathes out, already completely undone by the way you two are moving together as he starts grinding his hips back into you. “So fuckin’ perfect.”
You can feel your heart beating out of your chest, nervous for some reason as you decide you want more, to move things along with him. You think you’ll combust soon if you two keep up only making out like a couple of teenagers. While it feels amazing to be reunited, you feel the need to show Joel just how serious you are about what you’ve told him. 
Your hand shakes a little as you reach between the two of you to grab at Joel’s belt, swiftly undoing it amid many approving sounds from Joel as his lips attach themselves to your neck, kissing along the length of it and up to your face, covering as many spots as he possibly can with an undying eagerness to taste you on his lips.
Joel lets out a hiss when your hand reaches inside of his jeans, your fingers brushing along the soft fabric of his briefs, tracing the hard length of him inside.
“Is this okay?” you quietly rasp, and Joel’s approval stretches from his little smile to his eyes as he nods.
“Gonna make me crazy already, baby, the way you’re touchin’ me,” he says as you continue your movement along his shaft and wrap your hand tighter for a quick moment before sliding your hand inside of his briefs. The warmth of his skin blazes onto your hand as he throbs beneath you with your light strokes. Joel hums pleasantly, his eyes glazing over with need when you dare to peek into them. His head nearly lolls back onto the chair with a little groan when your finger swipes the head of his cock, feeling the wetness of his precum before you swirl it around the tip of his cock with your thumb.
Your entire body feels on fire, warm from the inside out as your core twists deep inside with need, the desire to feel him inside of you reaching a dangerous territory of necessity for you.
“Joel…” you coo as your cunt aches so sweetly for him, more than ready for him to completely own it again. You wrap a hand around his cock, fingers feeling so small around his girth that it makes your mouth water with anticipation for what’s to come.
“I know, baby,” Joel responds as you pull his cock out of his jeans, freeing the length of him and you gasp a little at the remembrance of the full size of him, already finding yourself picturing it being thrusted deep inside of you. Joel smirks at the starry-eyed look on your face as you take him in again and places his hands on your thighs, sliding your dress up higher.
“Missed my big fuckin’ cock, didn’t you?” Joel asks, so cocky and sure of himself that it sends another wave of desire straight to your clit and you can only find yourself nodding. “‘Course you did,” Joel adds on when he sees your speechless, practically drooling response to his question. Joel’s hand has been steadily moving your dress higher until his hands slide right to your ass, playing with the fabric of your panties, tracing his fingers along the lace.
Your hips lurch forward with anticipation, and you bring your lips down to Joel’s again, kissing him with pent up passion as one of his hands comes forward to cup your cunt, finding it desperately soaked for him, and he tuts into the kiss as if he can’t believe what he’s feeling. You push into his hand, your clit eager for any kind of movement on it, and Joel obliges, letting you grind onto his palm through your underwear for a few moments
“Need to see this pretty little thing,” Joel murmurs breathlessly, and you nod feverishly in agreement.
“Just fuckin’ rip them off, Joel,” you tell him, your lips barely leaving his to utter the words, and Joel growls deep in his throat at your eagerness, his fingers wrapping around the side of your panties to tear at them. You hear the splitting of seams as the fabric comes apart with a swift tug from Joel. It makes you feel impossibly feral that his strong hands made such quick work of the fabric that you can't help the moan that escapes you as you feel your panties fall away, completely ruined as Joel pulls them out from between you and tosses them to the ground, his lips never coming apart from yours. 
You lift your hips up, giving Joel the opportunity to slide his cock between your legs, and you moan immediately at the way he feels against your slick folds. He grabs the base of his cock with one hand, and your ass with the other, guiding himself to rub back and forth against you until you’re breathing so erratically that you have to stop kissing Joel for fear you won’t be able to catch your breath. He increases the pace, and every time his plump head presses and brushes against your clit you feel the build up tighten in your core even more until you’re ready to burst, the tension reaching a high as you nearly choke on your words. 
“I’m gonna… Joel… fuck, I’m oh -“
Your hips roll and spasm down onto his cock, and he keeps up the pace, brushing his head quickly over your pulsing clit in rapid motions as you ride out your orgasm. Your head buries into his chest, covering up your moans of his name as you yell it out into his shirt with a hand clutching tightly to the fabric. 
“Good, so good, baby, yeah, just ride it out f’me,” Joel praises, stroking the back of your head, “Come all over this cock, f-fuck…”
You whimper and slump into him a little to catch your breath and come down, but the feeling of his soaked cock still pressing against your folds sets you off all over again, and you need more. 
“Inside me… Joel… fuck….”
“C-can’t wait much longer either,” he says, uncharacteristically shaken, and he vibrates slightly with the effort of holding back, but you roll your hips onto his cock as he slides up your seam again, and then surprises you by pushing himself in, the head of his cock bursting into your entrance. You gasp at the intrusion initially, but sigh with relief at the feeling of him slowly, deliciously filling you up inch by inch, stretching you practically beyond your means until you’re completely full of him. You can’t help the warm feeling that spreads through you that this is what you were meant for, exactly where you’re supposed to be.
“Fuck,” Joel grits out, completely sheathed inside of you, feeling you squeeze him as you shift your hips to adjust to the fullness. “Just want to feel you for a second,” he says. “Missed this so much.”
Joel’s hands go back to gripping your hips tightly, not allowing any movement as he just feels you around his length, but you squirm in his grasp, making his cock push against your walls. You let out a whimpering sound at the feeling, and Joel bites the inside of his lip, barely able to contain himself between the small movements and sounds you’re making as you squirm and leak all over his cock, your arousal dripping down onto his jeans. You grip his shoulders for some leverage to begin moving as much as you can, and one of Joel’s hands frees your hip up to come grab your chin, pulling it tightly between his fingers as he forces you to look at him.
“Please…” you beg quietly, the throbbing, aching mess between your legs taking over any and all thoughts you have.
“You lookin’ for me to make you fuckin’ scream right here on this porch, are ya? Can’t wait until we’re inside?”
You shake your head with panting breaths from the exertion of trying to break out of Joel’s grasp to bounce your hips and feel him moving inside of you.
“Good,” Joel says, a devious smirk on his face, “‘Cause I can’t either.” With his words he pushes his hips up into you, affording him that tiny bit of extra space inside of you and you groan before he pulls his hips back, lifting yours at the same time before repeating the motion, slamming back into you hard and deep.
You cry out loudly, feeling him push against every part inside of you imaginable - have you always felt him this much, or is it just because you’d been deprived from the pure pleasure of Joel that it feels like so much more now? 
You start returning his movements with equal vigor, your bodies ferociously coming together as the chair creaks underneath your bodies with the harsh movement.
“Gonna break this damn chair if we keep it up,” Joel says with a chuckle, lightening his movements only slightly. 
“So what?” you manage to reply through stunted breaths as you slam yourself down onto Joel over and over. 
“Need to fuck you properly anyways, darlin’, c’mere.” Joel’s hands cup underneath your thighs, urging you up off his lap as you help him lift you, wrapping your arms around his neck. You bury your face there, not wanting even a moment to go to waste as your lips find his neck again and suck hard. Joel yelps quietly as he moves you to the banister of his porch, perching you on the edge of it, and you grip even more tightly onto his back, feeling your balance completely off on the thin slab of wood underneath your ass. 
“This is what you call proper?” You laugh, and Joel looks at you with a smirk before diving back in to kiss you, slowly grinding his hips into you now with nearly infuriating movements. You moan at the feel of every inch of him dragging out of you before pushing back in. You clench around him as your body shakes in his grip, unable to control the whimpering that escapes your lips. 
“Y’seem to be enjoying it,” Joel retorts, and you’re too lost in the feeling of his cock to even conjure up a snarky response. “You want it faster though, don’t ya? I know how my angel likes to take my cock,” Joel rasps eagerly, and you groan as you nod your head, begging for more of him. 
When he starts thrusting into you faster and harder, the banister rocks under the weight of it, but you can’t find it in you to care. Even if it all came crashing down and you two fell to the ground with it, you doubt either of you’d stop fucking the other with the way you’re both desperately panting now as Joel’s hips snap into yours repeatedly. 
Your legs slide higher up Joel’s back, your ankles hooking together around him, trusting his arms completely to hold you up from falling off the porch railing. When your hips angle enough for Joel to get deeper, you moan as he presses against the spongy part inside of you that makes you absolutely crazy for him, and he smirks as he sees your eyes flutter with each new brush against the spot. You whine out his name, and Joel tucks in closer and kisses you in response. 
“That good, baby?” he whispers gently, a stark contrast to the way he’s absolutely ravaging your body right now for anyone walking by to see. You’re grateful it’s late enough that it’s unlikely, but even then, you can't be bothered by the thought with the way Joel feels inside of you right now. 
“So good,” you whimper in response, barely able to form words as your core ignites again, twisting in anticipation of another high. “You feel perfect.”
“That’s cause this pussy was made to take me, made to take this cock, baby, fuck…” Joel says, grunting as he thrusts into you. “Can feel you baby, you’re so close, give me another one, sweet girl,” Joel murmurs, pressing as flush to you as he can get. The sudden change gives some stimulation on your clit from the soft, dark curls above his cock, and combined with another brush against your g-spot, you’re losing a grip on reality so quickly you almost can’t keep up. 
“Joel… Joel… harder,” you cry out, desperate for your climax to burst out of you, to claw its way out from the tingling pit now formed right where Joel’s cock is pressing deep inside of you. He obeys, thrusting into at an alarming rate, your legs helping his speed as you press them into him with every inward thrust, matching his rhythm. 
You moan out long and low, the pleasure too much to take as the pressure builds to a point you nearly can’t take it anymore before you’re finally pushed over the edge by Joel biting into your neck. You hadn’t even noticed his head move down to do it, so lost in your own ecstasy, but the sensation of the pain with pleasure is enough to send you careening straight into your orgasm, practically screaming and sobbing with the intensity of it. Your slickness pours out onto Joel’s cock and he grunts and mumbles into your neck at the feeling before you feel the familiar sensation of you squirting, knowing the mess you’re making right now must be catastrophic between that and how hard you’d came. 
Joel seems intent on adding onto it, at the tail end of your climax as your cunt squeezes his cock, he releases with a long, loud grunt, cursing under his breath as he fucks into your cunt a few more times and spills himself into you. Ropes of his cum coat your walls, the warmth filling you nearly sending you over the edge another time in the midst of your oversensitivity. You feel tears rolling down your cheeks from the comedown of such an intense moment with him, feeling so fulfilled and grateful to be his. 
Joel sits for a long moment, his cock buried deep inside of you still, holding everything in that’s threatening to leak out around him. He pulls back from your shoulder and sees the few stray tears and smiles gently before kissing your cheeks, lapping them up in the process. When he does pull out, it’s then that you notice just how much of a depraved, wet, mess you two had made together. Joel can see and feel the mess between your legs and he tuts, half-impressed and half-teasing before helping you off the banister and onto your shaky legs. 
“Fuckin’ messy girl for me, ain’t ya?“ Joel cocks an eyebrow at you. 
You find yourself shying under his gaze, something that hasn’t happened for a long while now, and it feels refreshing in a way, almost like you two really are starting new. Joel wraps his arms around you after tucking himself back in, smoothing your dress down your backside for you. 
“S’okay, just how I like you, my messy little thing,” he coos, pinching your cheek quickly, and you giggle, pressing yourself into his chest, just letting him hold you.
“You comin’ inside?” he asks, and you can hear the hesitation in his voice, like he truly believes you may not want to spend any more time with him, that you’ll regret what you two did any second. 
“Thought you’d never ask,” you tease him, hoping to lighten his seemingly aching heart a bit and Joel smiles brightly in response. 
“Good, ‘cause I’m nowhere near done with you yet,” he replies, meeting your lips for a long, deep kiss. Unbelievably, you feel a swirl of desire crop up in your belly at the sensation, his perfectly plump lips giving in to yours so delicately but so deeply, and you let out a little moan. Joel pulls away, chuckling. “Sounds like neither are you,” he adds on, looking at you expectantly.
“C’mon, let’s go cowboy,” you say, grabbing his hand to walk to the door together.
“Cowboy, huh? That’s new,” Joel comments with a questioning brow.
“Trying something out,” you tell him with a shrug, grinning, and Joel laughs as he unlocks his front door and leads you inside. The second the door shuts behind you, you find Joel on top of you again, his tall frame crowding over you and his hands on your hips, quickly roaming over your back, ass, shoulders, anywhere he can touch as he takes you in, holding you close to him. His head dips down to breathe in your scent again, getting completely lost in it. You shudder under the feeling of his breath near your ear, hot and needy right on the sensitive skin there.
“Sorry, sweetheart, jus’ can’t help myself right now. Fuckin’ missed bein’ able to hold you like this, touch you anytime I want,” Joel confesses, still not letting up the way his hands are moving, landing on your ass to knead the plush globes there.
“Missed it too,” you breathe out, not minding one bit the things he’s apologizing for, finding your body melting into his again.
“How many times you think I can make you come before I’m ready for ya again?” Joel asks next to your ear, one of his hands gliding to the front of your body and slipping under your dress, immediately going right between your legs. You’re still soaked, remnants of your time outside all over you, your pussy feeling fucked out but still managing to respond to his touch. He slides a finger onto your inner thigh, where his cum has been steadily starting to drip down, gathering it onto his fingers and dragging it upwards towards your cunt. He swipes it through your seam, gathering some of your own slickness and then stuffing all of it back inside of your ravaged hole, pushing his fingers as far as they’ll go. 
“Fuck…” you whimper, arching your back. Joel’s frame pushes against you until your back is pressed into the door behind you, completely boxing you in with his body. His fingers start to work circles on your clit while the other hand comes up to palm your breast gently, rubbing it through the fabric.
“So fuckin’ pretty…” Joel murmurs, sliding a strap of your dress down your shoulder, hoping to reveal more of your skin to him. He seems to change his mind halfway through, pulling both of his hands off of you to grip at the bottom of your dress and pull upwards, lifting it off of you, leaving you standing naked before him. You tremble slightly at the feeling of being so exposed with him again, and the air conditioning of his house sending cool air dancing over your now goosebumped skin. 
Joel takes you in, his eyes roaming over your body, temptation screaming in his blown out pupils. You writhe under his gaze slightly, desperate for him to return to touching you again, but he continues to take several long moments of looking at you before gently brushing a finger up your arm. You shiver more violently now, and Joel’s hand grazes inwards, finally landing at your nipple, pinching the taut bud and pulling hard on it. You cry out, back arching against the door as your knees begin to shake a little.
“God, baby, said you were pretty, but this is fuckin’ beautiful. Fuckin’ divine, lookin’ at you like this,” Joel says, shaking his head, entranced by watching his fingers pinch and roll your hard nipples.
“Joel… please,” you whine out, your thighs clamping together desperately, feeling wetness and heat pooling between your legs again.
“Tell me, sweetheart, what d’ya need…?”
“Touch my clit, Joel.”
“All you had to do was use your words.” He grins, obliging you by resuming the circles on your clit, more languidly this time as he keeps his other hand playing mercilessly with your pink buds. It’s no surprise when the familiar swelling of pleasure rapidly builds deep inside of you at Joel’s touch, your breathing labored as you shut your eyes and lean your head back on the door, moaning quietly.
“Eyes on me, baby, need ya to look at me when you come,” Joel says, voice soft and sweet, with his sudden grip on your chin to tilt your head back down anything but. His fingers grab tightly, greedily, at your delicate chin, holding your head in place as your eyes threaten to roll back at the way his fingers are working between your legs, tight, perfect circles being rubbed on your clit. 
“Fuck, Joel, I-I’m coming,” you cry out, followed by several loud, staccato moans that drag out into long whimpers as you buck down onto his hand, body shaking and impossibly taut as you come. Stars invade your vision before it goes fully white, pleasure rocking what feels like every cell in your body. All you’re aware of for those few blissful moments are the way Joel’s fingers move, riding you through the climax, and how his name spills off your lips over and over, begging him for something you’re not even sure of yourself. 
Throughout all of it, you try to keep your eyes locked on Joel’s, but can’t help it when your eyes squeeze shut in the high. When you finally peek them open, Joel looks at you with a satisfied sigh, his tight hold on your chin turning into a softer, gentler stroking leading up to your cheek. He brushes the hair away on your forehead that’s now stuck there with the small sheen of sweat you’d worked up and tucks it behind you ear, his lips turning up into a small smile. 
He kisses you, his lips barely fluttering against yours in a soft meeting of your lips, one that isn’t meant to lead anywhere further. Just soft, loving presses over and over to your lips, and you’re finally coming out of your fucked our haze to be able to return them properly. 
“Lemme take you to bed, hm?” Joel says, pressing his forehead to yours. You nod tiredly, the pleasurable post-orgasm haze taking over your brain.
“Only if you carry me.”
Joel crouches to press his hands underneath your ass, urging you up by the thighs, so you grip his shoulders and let him lift you, wrapping your legs around his thick middle and supporting yourself around his neck. Joel can hardly think straight, with the whole of your bare skin pressed against him, clinging on tightly like he’s the only thing that matters in the entire world right now. He can feel the heat of you through his clothing, wishing with a fuzzy head that there wasn’t anything between the two of you, that he could envelop you in his own heat, that they could mingle endlessly together. He could hardly wait to get you in his bedroom and make that exact desire of his come true. 
When Joel sets you on the edge of his bed, he stands in front of you, unbuttoning his shirt slowly and intently, watching you to see your eyes lighting up as he works at the buttons. You stand up and grasp his hands gently, moving them to the side to take over, unbuttoning his shirt and kissing each new bit of skin that’s revealed on his chest. Joel finally shrugs the plaid shirt off and onto the floor, and you get to work on his jeans, pulling his belt off and through all of the loops in a slow, dragging movement. Joel chuckles a heady laugh at the way you’re so perfectly teasing him right now before you unzip his jeans and pull everything down, leaving him standing just as naked as you are.
“C-can I jus’ hold you like this?” Joel asks tentatively, despite his cock being at full attention once again from the way you’d undressed him. You can’t help but smile when Joel shows this more shy side of himself and you give him a nod, pulling away to crawl onto the bed and lay down. Neither of you have turned on any lights in the room, instead letting the moonlight spill in through the front window and illuminate enough that it casts a low, shimmering light through the room.
Joel slides in right next to you, wrapping his toned arms around you immediately, pulling you flush with his body and you wrap one leg over top of him, one hand placed flat on his chest, rubbing along the dusting of salt and pepper hair there. You both sigh contentedly at the feel of the other’s skin, so warm and soothing after spending all that time apart. The silence is comfortable, despite the both of you knowing there are mountains of things to discuss between the two of you.
Joel clears his throat, a hand rubbing up and down your forearm that rests along his torso. “Not one to ruin a perfect moment like this, but I gotta ask…” he starts, swallowing nervously. “Why’d you decide to come tonight? What… changed your mind?”
You blink a few times, biting the inside of your lip, trying to compile everything you’d been thinking recently for Joel.
“I just… did. I saw you realize that you’d made a mistake, and how much it hurt both of us. I was scared to trust you again, but you never left my side once you realized what you wanted. I’ve never stopped… wanting it, Joel. Wanting you.”
“I never did neither, darlin’. Swear it,” Joel says quietly, nuzzling his mouth onto the top of your head, breathing you in. “Thought I was savin’ you from me. Thought I couldn’t be worth it.”
“You’ve always been worth it, Joel. All the shit that happened, worrying about my parents, people judging us, job offers, any of it. I just want to be happy with you, I promise.”
“I see that now, honey, how fuckin’ selfish I actually was. ‘M so sorry,” he replies, a slight crack to his voice as he keeps it quiet.
“I know you are, you’ve shown me and said it so many times now. Thank you for not giving up,” you tell him sincerely, rubbing absentminded circles on his chest.
Joel huffs, shaking your head on his shoulder a bit. “Should be thankin’ you for that, darlin’, not the other way around. Y’should’ve given up on an old man like me.”
“Never, Joel,” you say. “Even if you are an old man.”
“Hey, now,” Joel scolds you lightly. “Only okay when I say it.”
You both break into a quick laughter, and you shift and tilt your head up, offering your lips to his, and he takes it, leaning his head slightly to meet your lips with his for a chaste kiss.
“Fine. You’re so youthful, don’t even look a day over twenty five, I swear,” you say, a smirk tugging at your lips.
“Okay, now you’re jus’ bein’ mean,” Joel says with a frown.
“Thirty?”
“Mmm, better.” Joel chuckles, and you pull yourself tighter to him, your warm heat nearing dangerously close to his cock. Your hand traces down his chest, fingers gently grazing the base of his length now. 
“Missed this so much. Missed you,” you say quietly, wrapping your fingers around his shaft, feeling him stiffen, his cock hardening from semi-soft to throbbing in just a few moments of you toying with it.
“Y’have no idea…” Joel replies breathlessly, his hips jutting up into your hand slightly as it roams over his length. 
“Wanna just feel you… please…” you whimper, feeling precum already gathering at his tip, swiping it onto your finger and into your mouth, sucking the slightly salty, tangy fluid completely clean before putting your hand back to his cock.
Joel groans out at the entire interaction, his eyes blazing with heat. “God, sweetheart, want to fuckin’ wreck your little pussy, but…” He winces in embarrassment. “My fuckin’ back… from what we did outside. Went a little too hard.” You try to stifle your smile, having just argued over him being an old man, but you reign it in. 
“That’s okay, baby. I can ride you just as hard,” you say with quirked eyebrows. Joel chuckles but splays his palms in the air quickly, as if to say be my guest.
You shift your weight, straddling Joel and placing your already dripping pussy above his cock, notching him at your entrance. You lean down to kiss him and with the same motion, you press your hips down, letting his cock slide inside effortlessly. You’ve been perpetually wet just being in his presence, and from the way you’ve been warmed up over and over tonight, he’s completely sheathed in you before you even know it. 
You groan at the fullness from this angle, and Joel does the same, his eyes fluttering slightly as he shifts underneath you. He winces slightly from his back hurting but relaxes his tensing body as you start to bounce your hips gently, testing the waters. Joel smiles up at you, his features melting into pleasure as you basically start jerking him off with your cunt, letting him lay back and enjoy the sensations.
Shit, you think suddenly. You should tell Joel about Dylan. You don’t know why it crosses your mind right in this perfect moment, when you’re both so incandescently happy to just be together, but the sudden guilt hits you right in the gut. You know you aren’t in the wrong, but you want to be honest with Joel, not have anything between the two of you if you’re going to start over like this.
You slow your movement, pressing your lips together, and Joel looks at you quizzically, noticing the change in your expression.
“This might be the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever done to say this right now, but I have to tell you something,” you blurt out, and Joel’s eyebrows draw together, his eyes slightly widening in concern.
He rubs your lower back, sensing your hesitation. “Go ahead, sweetheart,” he says softly.
“When… we…w-weren’t talking, I slept with someone. It was just once, it was not even… it wasn’t anything, but I did do it. When I was drunk. And it wasn’t even any g -” you ramble breathlessly, still moving yourself up and down on Joel’s cock. He tightly grasps your hips, pulling you down, hips flush with his, stopping your movements.
“Woah, woah, relax, relax, baby. Okay, it’s okay,” he says.
“It is?” you ask, wide eyed.
“Don’t exactly love it, y’know how I feel about you bein’ mine and only mine, but I can’t say I blame ya. Left you high and dry out there.”
“Right…” you say quietly, still incredulous that Joel isn’t completely freaking out right now from this news.
“Gonna fuckin’ kill whoever it is, but ‘sides that,” Joel chuckles genially, “Don’t feel bad, baby. Jus’ makes me wanna fuck you even fuckin’ harder, make you forget that even happened.” He lets a small growl slip from deep in his throat, clutching onto the plush skin of your hips and ass, his long fingers spreading along both areas and kneading.
You start to grind your hips a little again, lifting slightly up and back down, beginning a steady rhythm on him.
“Oh really? Think you could?” you ask low and teasingly. “Honestly, it wasn’t any good, if that helps.”
“No? Not any good, huh?” Joel grunts a little as he lifts his hips up into you, unable to help himself despite his back aching and screaming at him.
You shake your head, pursing your lips as you continue your slow pace on top of him. “Mm-mm. Didn’t even get me off…” You run a hand down Joel’s chest slowly. “Shame, really, that no other man could ever live up to you.”
“Fuck…” Joel curses under his breath. “Gonna give a man an ego, sayin’ things like that.” Joel pauses, just enjoying the way you’re gyrating on his cock for a few moments. His eyes snap open again and he looks at you with a furrowed brow. “Didn’t get you off at all?”
You shake your head slowly and deliberately as you ride him. 
“Fuck, need to do good to you tonight, then, baby,” he says, his voice slightly strained from the emotions he’s feeling. It’s a mixture of desperation, sadness, and fucking anger at what happened. How anyone could get a chance to be with you, to taste and fuck that sweet pussy of yours and not even give you what you deserved, it made Joel feel the feral side of him clawing it’s way out. His hand reaches up, cupping the side of your face before sliding around to the back of your head and pushing your head down so that it’s close to his mouth, forehead practically resting on his shoulder. He holds your hair tightly in his grip, letting his lips brush against the skin of your ear. 
“Whatever you need to do to me, I’m yours… I want you to fuckin’ come so hard you never come back down, that you can’t never think of another man again ‘sides me. Want your fuckin’ knees shakin’, cunt drippin’, fuckin’ soaked f’me, squeezin my cock so hard, so full you can’t even breathe…” Joel mutters out, sending your entire body shivering and convulsing with the combination of his words and the vibration of his deep rasp right next to your ear. 
You spasm your hips down onto him, pussy clenching at his words and feeling his cock throbbing and pulsing inside of you. “F-fuck…” you whimper, nearly reaching your high from his words alone. You pull your head back slightly with Joel’s permission, his tight grasp on your hair lightening up, and smirk down at him. 
“Y’sure you can do that, old man? With your bad back and everything?” Your lips press together so tightly to repress your laughter that you feel like you’re going to pop. You begin to ride him faster as you speak, feeling all of you bouncing, your tits dancing appealingly right in his face. Joel lifts his head, takes one into his mouth and sucks harder than he ever has, and you gasp loudly, unable to pull away. He lets it go with a small pop and looks up at you, darkness flashing in his eyes. 
“Gonna fuckin’ wish you never said that,” Joel states before he sits up, groaning quickly with the effort and then deciding its well worth it, grasps your back and flips you around, slamming you down into the bed with him. His entire weight is on you, straddling you, the movement from flipping pushing his cock so deep that you squeal out in both pain and pleasure. He ruts into you hard now, lifting both of your legs to his shoulders, putting you in a tight, cramped position where they’re trapped between your body and his now. 
All you can feel is Joel, Joel, Joel - his cock pressing against your spongy part inside again, his sweat intermingling with yours, his ragged breaths as he pounds into you with no mercy. You cry out, tears stinging your eyes from how fucking deep he is, you think he’s hitting your cervix at this point and it’s a sensation you haven’t experienced before, but it’s tearing you up from the inside out how good it feels. You can’t do anything but whimper as Joel asserts himself over you, trying to make the words he whispered in your ear become a reality. 
He leans even closer, the angle completely devastating you as a few tears slip free from where they’ve been brimming in your eyes. “Tell me how good I am to you, hm? Wanna hear you praise this fuckin’ cock,” Joel says, his voice so smooth and controlled for how hard he’s ravaging your body right now.
“So good, Joel, fuck… your c-cock… you’re so good to me.”
“Again,” he commands, turning his head to bite down onto one of your legs that are framing near his face. You whimper loudly, barely able to even think of the words to say, let alone speak them.
“N-never want another c-cock. Can only take y-yours, so good to me, so f-fuckin’ big and full, Joel.” Your face scrunches up slightly, a few more tears rolling down your cheeks as Joel snaps his hips into your over and over, your insides coiling with heat and everything good when he hits the perfect spots inside of you.
“That’s right,” he groans desperately, clearly as affected by your praise as you are his. Nearly effortlessly for his back hurting him, he pulls out of your cunt, leaving it squeezing at nothing. He quickly looks down at your fluttering, fucked out cunt and spits quickly in-between your legs before he turns your body belly down on the bed, your legs shaking as you bring them down and nearly melt into the mattress. You’re shaking, your knees and thighs completely quaking just as Joel had wanted, and you’re thankful for the break. Joel’s hands grasp either of your ass and lift it slightly off the bed, angling himself behind you and slamming right back into your cunt. You nearly scream, the stretch of him all over again nearly too much with how heightened everything feels. 
“‘M I still so good for you, baby?” he asks. You can only nod, and breathe out a quiet, raspy “yes”, your face turned off the mattress to try to look back at him.
“Ready to come, angel? I can feel you, so fuckin’ tight, practically beggin’ for it, ain’t ya?” Joel says, his voice less controlled now, and you can tell he’s just as close as you are. He slides a hand between your body and the mattress, leaning himself closer, changing the angle of himself inside of you and it’s perfect, holy shit it’s perfect.
His finger finds your clit in a second, flicking and rubbing circles frantically as your body writhes and bounces into his thrusts. You moan over and over, his name, expletives, anything you can think of to finally reach your high. The tension low in your belly snaps, and you go off the edge, screaming Joel’s name along the way as your legs shake underneath him and your cunt tightens impossibly taut around him, fluttering and spasming. Joel curses, pushing in as deep as possible while he comes along with you, his vision going white as he grunts your name and claims you with his hot ropes of cum spilling inside of you. He relishes in the feeling, the way you take all of him in a moment like this, moaning louder as soon as you feel that he’s coming along with you. 
You continue to tremble, trying to come down from the way Joel has just turned your world upside down. You should have known - when Joel says something, he means it, and the way you’d just went higher than the god damned heavens just now proves it.
You let out soft, whimpering sounds as you lay there, body completely slack and feeling unable to even lift your head until you regain some composure.
“Shit…” Joel murmurs, concerned, his body wrapping around yours in a second. “Y’okay, baby? You hurt?”
“N-no,” you croak out, trying to give him some semblance of a head shake. “Just… j-ust…”
“So fucked out f’me,” Joel teases, wiggling his eyebrows a bit as he feels the situation lighten. If you had the energy, you’d punch him on the arm, but you just groan in agreement. Joel laughs, nuzzling his nose onto your shoulder. “Just how I fuckin’ like it, means I did you like you deserve, sweetheart.”
“You can say that again… I mean, fuck, Joel.” You giggle a little bit, finally feeling your senses coming back to you as you try to roll over.
“Say the same to you, so perfect f’me tonight, baby. Promise I’ll take it slow next time. Give you all the sweet stuff,” Joel laughs at his own words and you roll your eyes.
“You’d better, I’m gonna barely be able to walk for days, swear to God,” you scoff.
“Jus’ means I get to take care of ya. My poor baby can’t even walk,” Joel clicks his tongue, “Cock jus’ too big f’ya?” he teases, and you let out a disapproving noise, trying to squirm away from him in irritation, but he holds you even tighter. “Jus’ admit it, s’okay honey. Not everyone can take it.” Joel says tauntingly, shrugging nonchalantly to add on to the teasing torture he’s lashing on you.
“You know I can take it, Miller. Fuckin’ better than anyone,” you snip back, trying to turn away from him still, but Joel manages to scoop your body into his, spooning you now, crossing his arms tightly over your chest.
“Damn fuckin’ right,” Joel admits, giving up the charade. He kisses the back of your head, trailing them down to your neck. “My perfect girl.”
“Yours,” you echo back, snuggling your body into his and feeling so at peace you could nearly cry. This is where you were meant to be, right here in Joel’s arms. Always.
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taglist: @paleidiot@mumma-moonchild@soph55@chicville03@joelsversion@feliciab1990@fellinfromthetop@gossipgirl-03@sarap-77@blueseastorm@akah565​ @pattwtf @scarlettthefierce
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wildemaven · 1 month
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Okay, so I guess this sits in the realm of Confessions.
I'm thinking about leaving tumblr. I'm not sure what I did or didn't do to cause this, but the people I thought of as my friends or at least closest moots hardly interact with me anymore. My posts, my fics, my reblogs, my comments to them... They are around, I see them on my dash, but...
It all sounds so middle school, but it hurts nonetheless, and I'm pretty sure anything that feels like middle school (even actual middle school) can't be good for anyone.
The thing is, I really love everyone, and I don't want to give up. But going around to literally dozens of peoples DMs to ask, "Do you like me?" "Are we still friends?" "Are you mad at me?" Is again a kind of painful kid trauma thing I just can't quite bring myself to do.
I feel like my time here is just sort of over. I started with little expectation, and to my surprise, I found community, felt well liked and valued, and then, it just sort of went away.
There was a time when I was really happy about my place here, and just that makes me so sad.
You don't have to answer or anything. I think it just feels kind of cathartic to write it down where if nothing else someone else will read it.
Anyway... I guess that's it.
Held on to this for a little bit because my heart aches for you and I want to wrap you in the biggest hug 💕 I felt I could have written something so similar, as so many are relating to this right now.
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It’s so hard to not feel like you’re feeling when you see people you’ve connected with slowly pull away from you. It hurts even more when they’re still active but actively avoiding you. That fucking hurts deep.
There was a time when this space felt very welcoming and fun. And while I do still have fun, sometimes it doesn’t feel as welcoming— and I know I’m not the only one feeling this.
Cliques branch off, popularity fuels some to feel like they’re too good to interact with others, the vibe isn’t vibing like it use to. And like you mentioned, it can all make you feel like you’re being thrown back in middle schools wondering why you’re not good enough? What did you do to cause this? What’s the point of even being here in this space any longer?
I’m so sorry this has become your reality. I wish it was a simple fix or there was a perfect solution to make things better. I support whatever decision you make, your wellbeing and mental health matter most— just know this community will be a little less bright without you in it!!
You said I didn’t have to post this, but I want others who might be feeling the same to know they’re not alone at all. There’s a lot of us floating around with the same exact thoughts and feeling like we just no longer belong in this space.
You’re more than welcome to jump in my DMs or continue sending anonymous messages to my inbox if that helps you in any way 💕
Coffee Shop Asks
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spdrvyn · 9 months
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reader (an average human) is the owner of spider cat (who does not know the cat has spider abilities) and accidentally enters a portal into 2099 only to get in trouble with miguel for trespassing and it escalates into a brawl of who knows the cat more (this goes on for weeks) and eventually is resolved by a date and co-parenting the fur baby like its their child SOBS (ill let u the name the cat whatever u want it to be tbh)
tooth and claw — MIGUEL O'HARA
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SUMMARY: you love your cat more than anything else in the whole world, the whole multiverse possibly. however, your limits are tested when you find out that he's been hiding a huge secret from you.
THIS FIC CONTAINS: silliness. fluff. lotsa romance. a grown ass man tussling with a little cat. gender neutral reader.
NOTES: i love this request so much!!! i fucking love cats yo!!! sorry for getting to this request so late, but i hope you enjoy it anyway!!!!! not proofread because it is LATE as i post this but ya 🙏 this was so much longer than it needed to be holy SHIT
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Pawker was a good kitty. Most of the time.
He was polite to you, in his own special little ways. While being a complete, irrevocable asshole to literally anybody else that just so happens to cross paths with him.
But at the same time, that's what you enjoyed so much about being his owner. He was special, loyal to you and you only. All the affections, purring, soothing pets were reserved for just you.
He also doesn't weirdly abide by regular cat law, he enjoys being groomed. At least, by you. He enjoys taking baths if you're in the tub, whenever you have to give him a nice bath every once in a while he'll always be patiently sitting still and giving you the cutest look ever as if he's expecting you to get in with him. It made your heart melt.
That's not what most of your family would think anyway, you still remember the messages of unmistaken horror that practically sent your phone vibrating off of your desk when your mom sent you picture after picture of her arms littered with scratch marks after she tried giving your precious cat a bath.
Whenever you had people over, it would be a challenge. Pawker would normally stay in one spot that seemed always designated for him while he tried to jump anyone that walked by, or he'd hide under the couch and you'd always have to pry him out, soothing him by placing him on your lap and giving him scratches on his ear while repeatedly apologizing to whoever you were talking to.
You still loved him all the same.
You've built your whole lifestyle around him, your sleep schedule could now be compared to that of a literal vampire because of how often Pawker would run around your now shared bedroom, accidentally knocking things over in his wake.
One time, you had passed out on your bed after an exhausting night of typing your soul away on your laptop that you had mistakenly left open from how tired you were. Pawker got zoomies, and you were spending money on a new laptop the next morning.
This night was no different, maybe a little as you were up by choice. The only part that really hadn't changed was Pawker's frantic zooms across the room, over your bed, bouncing off of your feet at the end of it. It made you giggle at the sight, he was so cute.
Your thumb was working hard, scrolling endlessly through the never-ending posts popping up on your social media. Watching people you barely knew live sad, cat-less lives unlike you who was blessed with this spawn sent from above made you feel better about having Pawker in your life.
It also made you sleepy apparently, your eyes growing heavy from looking at a screen for a concerning amount of time. You fall asleep with your phone still in your clutches, light snores sneaking past your mouth while Pawker still remains as lively as ever.
Weird dreams were also a common occurence for you. This time, you were falling. From a really great height, you've been thrown off by some villain that you couldn't recognize that was in a fight with your city's vigilante, Spider-Cat.
Spider-Cat let out a drawn-out meow when it caught sight of you being thrown off of the skyscraper, running to you on it's tiny four legs before falling off itself to catch you. It reaches out an itty bitty and a web shoots out, attaching to your chest however it doesn't break your fall as you hit the street of New York City with a hard, resounding, bloody—
You jolt awake, in a pool of your own sweat. Eyes blown wide, like you actually met your own demise on that street in your dream. Rubbing your temples, you groan. It was still relatively early in the morning, you could get a peek of the sky brightening up from your window but there was no sun. Not yet. It was too fucking early for this.
You set aside your phone on your bedside drawer, grabbing hold of your blanket, and getting ready to pass out again until you hear it.
Loud meows ringing in your ears, those familiar loud meows that keep you up at night. With a sigh, you throw your covers to the side and get up from the bed. Opening your door, you walk into the living room of your apartment, and are met with an unexpected sight.
Pawker— your Pawker— in Spider-Cat's get-up. His attention seemed to be drawn on something that he was wearing on his wrist, a tiny little watch that had a small hologram talking to him?
What the fuck was going on exactly?
"Pawker?" He jumped in place, turning his head back to you. The lenses of his mask, combined with his mouth contorting into a more than guilty expression. You put your hands on your hips, looking him up and down like a father who caught his son with a hand in the cookie jar.
"What are you doing? What's that?" You continued to question the fluffy fiend as if he could grow the ability to speak at any given moment. He hid this from you for so long, so who knows? Maybe there were other abilities that you just didn't know about.
Step-by-step, you slowly approached Pawker. Ready to scoop him up into your arms and rip that watch off of his cutesy little paws, his ears move to what you're used to calling 'airplane ears', which means he's ready to fight you. Challenge accepted then.
Before you could even think of snatching him up, Pawker manages to somehow press a few buttons on that goober of his and it opens up–
A portal?!
A portal that he looks like he's about to jump through and he does, "Pawker, wait!" You yell out, but no. You're just met with a dizzying array of colors from the portal, and the miscellaneous items in your home floating all around you.
Where was your cat even going? You wanted to follow him so badly, see wherever this thing took you, but there's a chance that without that gadget he had on his wrist that it wasn't safe for you to do that at all. Maybe you'd lose Pawker forever at this point.
No, no. You were not going to lose your cat. Even if it meant hopping from portal to portal, from dystopian landscape to dystopian landscape to do so. You were going to get that fucking kitty back.
You jump in without a second thought, your only motivations were getting your vigilante feline back even if it's with a fight.
Your first impressions of traversing the multiverse were a lot more different than what you experienced in reality. Instead of ending up instantly in the dimension that Pawker had went to, you were flown straight into what appeared to be a tunnel?
You'd look around aimlessly as you continued to be surged through this strange pathway, a burst of pain shoots through every single part of your body, and it feels like you're dying and being resurrected all at the same time. It was madness.
There was so much going on, in the distance you could see webs strung together like they were all connecting somehow. Octagons it looked like you were flying through, but it all passes quickly once you're thrown once again into something.
Rubbing your head and groaning in pain, you try to reassemble your bearings and your thoughts after trying to piece together what the fuck just happened. As you looked around, taking around your surroundings even more. You sigh of relief when you're not completely swarmed by eye-bleeding colors, but rather met with the darkness of an empty hallway.
It's as empty as it can get anyway, there's tech literally everywhere. Some gadgets and gizmos a little too complicated and advanced for you to understand, it didn't help that you already had a searing migraine boiling to the surface because of what just happened for you to get here too.
To the best of your ability, you walked through the hallway, occasionally tripping over yourself from the absurd amount of tech junk that littered each tile that you walked on. You were probably going to kill whoever let it get this messy, your body had suffered enough in such a short amount of time, and you were still clad in your pajamas because why would you even think to change?
You had tripped over one final wire before ending up at— god, how could you even begin to describe what this place looked like? There were multiple brewing strands, different kinds of messes that you'd probably kill yourself to try cleaning, but the most eye-catching of all in this cave is the elevated platform in the middle of it all.
You'd inspect even further, maybe even try to climb the damn thing, but for what feels like the hundredth time tonight, you're caught off-guard when you feel something attach to your chest. You look down, red neon ropes stuck to your torso.
Of course, you were too caught up in your investigation to even notice the pair of red lenses peering at you in the darkness of this mad laboratory. You gasped as you were tugged harshly, way too harshly to the point where you were pulled onto your knees. Two more shots of that strange red rope were on your hands, effectively pinning you to the ground as you continued to struggle.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. This was not how your night was supposed to go!
Whoever attached these webs to you seem to walk out of the shadows, your eyes train on to each detail of this guy's suit. A Spider-Cat, Spider-Man? logo that looks so edgy that you'd mistake it for a skull, futuristic lights emenate a small glow and they decorate different parts of his suit.
He had broad shoulders, which made his waist look absolutely criminal. His wrist was held out and as he walked closer to you, you understood where that webbing was coming from now. He was also tall, impossibly tall as he towered over you while you were on your knees, presumably on the floor of his office.
Hello, sailor!
Your gaze trailed to his other hand, under the faint gleam of the monitors of the platform above, you swore you could see claws. It only convinced you to keep tugging at your bindings, otherwise you were going to get completely shredded to bits at this point.
Your heart bounced off of the walls of you ribcage, you could practically hear it in your ear. Loud, repetitive, rapid thumps as from the corner of your eye, you can see him getting closer and closer.
However, he stops. Just in front of you that you practically have to crane your neck up to get a good look at his face.
"You know them?" His voice is rough, gravelly, his claws retract and he puts a hand on his hip before turning his head sidewards and out from the darkness strides Pawker.
Your face brightens up at the sight of him, your pounding heart doesn't slow, but now it's for an entirely different reason as you relish in the familiar and fluffy feeling of Pawker rubbing and purring up against your restrained arms.
"Pawker!" You all but squeal, cooing at him especially as he begun making biscuits on the webs that stuck your hands to the ground. The noise makes the other, less important man in the room flinch and he puts his wrist down. Bringing his hand to rub his head.
Still, even once you were reunited with your cat. There were still a lot of unanswered questions, who was this man that he was just with? Was he a threat? Maybe Pawker is a supervillain rather than a crime-fighting vigilante and this guy is apart of the whole operation? Although, judging from the awfully snide face that Spider-Man carried even with the mask covering his face, it seemed he had his own suspicions towards you as well.
You were the first to break the silence, the assumption that you were your cat's owner had already been confirmed so it was safe to assume that he wasn't going to kill you. "What were you doing with my cat?" You tried to keep your tone level with his, but it was so hard. How could you when your pet was confiding with him?
Your question probably pissed him off from the way that a nearly silent groan slips past his lips, curses uttered under his breath. He kneels down before you, retracting his talons again, and cuts you free from the webs. A pang of relief crashes over you as you rub your wrists - still looking at him, eyes filled with curiosity.
He stands up once more, outstretching an arm to you. "Get up, you're going to have to pay a lot of attention to understand."
Once he was able to get you seated and able to get some sort of wristband on you, he had finally explained exactly what was going on. You understood a little more than half of what he was saying, one would assume that he was a scientist of some sort from the extremely fancy, almost pretentious choice of words he has.
Down to the basics though, his name was Miguel O'Hara. He was the leader of an elite strike force that apparently your cat was apart of, the same cat that you've grown to love over years of being and living with each other that would practically yodel for your attention after five fucking seconds of not getting pet.
You almost couldn't believe it, yet you were also so impressed. Who knew your little baby was a superhero?
After finishing the long-winded discussion, Miguel waited for you to ask your share of questions, and you had plenty. Some of them were miniscule, just idle queries that he begrudgingly answered - although one that you had in mind was Pawker's schedule.
He was a fat cat, there was no denying that. Constant check-ins with the vet, scheduled meals (you had no money for a fancy automatic feeder), and not to mention regular pet care stuff.
You were quickly dismissed by Miguel after a short amount of time though, something something anomalies something something. You weren't able to catch most of it. Again, fancy language and scientific terms you couldn't bother understanding.
Before you left, Miguel promised that he'd probably drop by your apartment sometime in the following week to discuss details on your cat. You didn't know whether to be excited or intimidated. But it was best that you pondered on that once you were done being sent back through the tunnels of multiverse travelling, which was less painful now that it was back to your dimension.
A few nights pass, almost too many nights, and you almost think that he's not gonna come. It'd make sense, he seemed very busy. Hell, that was the reason why you weren't able to stick around his 'spider-cave' any longer.
Soon enough and just as you're about to switch the kitchen lights off, the scattered papers and calendar that you'd set down on the counter hours ago begun to float. Yellow, pink, purple, and so many other colored hues shined against the surfaces of your kitchen. Next thing you knew, Miguel was here.
He was still clad in the exact same suit that he wore the night that you met him, mask on and everything. You thought that you'd get to at least meet him again with his face shown, but it was fine. Mostly.
The discussion went as smoothly as you thought it would. Awkward silences were common throughout, it was to the point you faked bathroom breaks just so that you didn't have to sit through it all. At times, Pawker even had to interrupt by hopping on the counter and knocking things over.
Throughout it all, Miguel kept his mask on. Even as you offered him a glass of ice cold water, considering how it was going to be a long night, he declined. You set it on the counter for him anyway, just in case he'd change his mind later.
It's an hour and a half into the night, he had to drink something.
"You're going to get a headache if you stay dehydrated," You bluntly pointed out just as he finished explaining only god knows what, you could feel the stress that'd built up from his job in the sigh that he lets out. "I'm fine." He insists.
Rolling your eyes, you lean forward on the surface of your counter and a little bit forward to him. Seeing if there's any signs that he's going to pass out soon, "If this is about your secret identity, you already told me your name. How shameful is showing me your face?"
You don't get much of a response from him besides an annoyed huff, that is it. You grab the glass of water on his side and slide it over to you, taking it in your hand. "Just a sip, and I'll drop it. Okay?"
He doesn't seem to relent, you want to raise your voice but Pawker is napping. "I think I reserved the rights to see the face of my cat's dad."
Miguel pauses his scribbling on your calendar, lenses of his mask noticeable widening as he slowly turns his head to you. The marker in his grasp tightens as well as he says, "What?"
You want to chuckle at his reaction. "Am I wrong?"
He seems to just stare at you like a deer in headlights, before his eyes narrow at you once more. You raise an eyebrow, a playful smirk erupting on your lips. "Why? You think you're too pretty for me or something?" You tease.
Even as he's masked, you could feel him roll his eyes. "Yes, my face is too handsome for mere mortals." He quips sarcastically, and before you're able to get out any more smartass remarks, he reaches a hand out to yours. "Give me the shockin' glass."
You move your hand towards him just a few more centimeters before he snatches it from you, holding it in front of him as he takes off his mask. It fades out, pixel by pixel.
Now you're the one in headlights as you slowly take in every detail of Miguel's face. He looks like a marble statue, you think. Slicked back, dark brown hair save for some messy strands that fall onto his forehead, ones that he has to run his hand through to fix. Cheekbones sharper than any knife that you probably have in your kitchen, a refined jawline, thick eyebrows, plump lips, and his nose-
Hello... sailor...
"Happy?" His voice cuts through whatever thoughts were running rampant through your mind as he takes a sip from the glass.
Your composure slips. "Yeah, very."
The night passes quickly, so do the next few nights. With that time, you get to know Miguel and Miguel gets to know you.
If you were lucky, you would be able to hear more about the nature of his job past the missions or operations that your cat was involved in. Sometimes you'd get to hear small utterances from under his breath about canon events and anomalies.
Your job wasn't as important as his, just a simple desk job that you were allowed to work from home sometimes. Which was beneficial for you because that meant long and peaceful afternoons with Pawker on your lap, purring away.
Even if you felt that your occupation wasn't as life-saving as Miguel's every time you remotely even brought up your personal life, talking about plans you have later in the week or dinner dates with some of your friends, he always seemed so intrigued.
Leaning forward in his seat, dark crimson eyes concentrated on yours as you went on long rambles about random niche topics, with his head resting in his palm. He'd think you haven't noticed, but you most definitely have.
You mostly only talked about yourself though, it made you feel a little entitled. You didn't know if you were just self-obsessed or if Miguel didn't want to even talk a single peep about his personal life.
But after a while, batting your eyelashes, encouraging teases, he relented. It felt like all hell broke loose.
There was definitely something more in this partnership, if you could even call it that anymore. That joke you made about Miguel being Pawker's cat dad started to feel like less of a joke as time went on.
It started with more visits, sometimes even in the middle of the day rather than the dead of night like usual. He (and his A.I. assistant that you only found out about a couple days ago) found a way to hack into your phone so that you could receive direct messages from him.
It moved on to treats for Pawker. Whenever you begun to run low on cat food for him, a fresh supply would enter your pantry mysteriously followed by a text from Miguel minutes later asking if it was okay.
The gifts continued to upscale in size and expense, going from cat beds to a new, advanced automatic feeder.
When you thought that Miguel was done emptying his wallet for Pawker, the gifts started to direct towards you instead. Although, they were still cat related. Sometimes, little phone charms with a polite looking ginger cat decorated at the end of it would end up on your nightstand. Once you two settled down on the stools behind your kitchen counter, he'd even pass you small tokens moving from cat to more you related.
His excuses? I happened to be shopping in this store and I thought of you. There was a great deal and I just couldn't pass it up. They gave me an extra one for free.
And as he dished out each one, the least convinced you got. It was so hard for you to try returning the gestures as well, but when you could you saw in his eyes how much he appreciated it.
Love was a constant feeling in your everyday life, seeing Pawker curled up at your side after waking up from a long night always made your heart squeeze. However as you continued to talk and talk and talk with Miguel, there was this unfamiliar ardor that grew and grew and grew in your heart.
It was undeniable, you were in love.
And you were going to do something about it.
Miguel's schedule conflicted with yours most times, even if you tried being sneaky with finding out what days he was free, it was like fighting a losing battle. Which meant that there was only one option left for the both of you.
You knew that Miguel was going to be coming over again tonight, which meant that it was time to spruce up your apartment. You had cleaned the moment you got home from work, dug a little deeper in your wardrobe for your better items of clothing, and brought out the good wine.
It seemed that you weren't the only one excited for this surprise date, Pawker was oddly more well-behaved tonight compared to any other night. Staying inside your room, and you haven't heard any claws scratching at the door or vocals for the past thirty minutes.
You waited for midnight to hit as you anxiously clutched the bouquet of flowers that you bought on the way home, you basically feel the petals falling out from how tight you were holding it.
When you sensed the shift in gravity, saw the colours light up the dimness of your apartment, and smiled once Miguel walked through, you'd prayed he wouldn't jump hack into the portal once he caught sight of you.
And thank god, he didn't.
"Hi." is all you're able to say as you hand out the flowers for Miguel, it seems that he dressed up for the occasion. Partially at least, you could still see his suit from under the long sleeve shirt and sweatpants. His large hands take the bouquet from you, eyes darting back and forth as if he was in a dream.
"What's all this?" He asks, tone dripping in absolute disbelief at what's happening right now. Perching himself down on one of your stools like he was about to pass out. God, you were amazing.
"I know you don't have time for things like this so, I took matters in to my own hands." You sat down beside him like you always do, pouring wine into his glass then into yours before taking a big sip.
The look of wonder and awe as Miguel admired your little date set-up made you feel absolutely victorious, he had to put the flowers you got him on the counter otherwise they were going to fall out of his hands from how stunned he was.
"I thought I'd take initiative, you know before you go bankrupt from constantly buying me and Pawker gifts." Miguel chuckles at your witty comment, taking your hands in his, brushing his thumbs over your knuckles. This is probably the happiest you've ever seen him, and you took even more pride knowing that you'll be the only person to make him feel this type of way from now on.
"I've– I've been wanting to ask you out for a while, with the gifts and all, but our schedules and I wasn't a hundred percent sure that you liked me."
As he says that, one of your hands slip out from his grasp and your fingers cup his cheek. He leans into the touch, hearts in his eyes as he does so. You were addicted to him.
"I think you'd have to buy me a new heart too because there's no way that I wouldn't like you back," It was strange to think that all of this happened because you found out that your cat was a vigilante, you never could have imagined that your first love would be a grumpy, emotionally constipated, superhero from another dimension, but you were more than happy with what you got now.
After your words sat in the atmosphere a little longer, Miguel brings your hand to his chest where you could feel his heart beating faster than a race car. "I want to kiss you, please let me kiss you, cariño."
You frantically nodded your head, standing up from your seat so that you could be on par with his height as your arms move to his shoulders for support. "Okay."
Then he kisses you.
Bold, passionate and those two are words aren't even enough to describe it. Your fingers find his curls, tugging at them softly to try getting him closer to you and he moans into your mouth. His hands paw at your waist, digging into the sides of your body so that you can slot in-between his legs.
Once you two separate, it's hard to catch your breath. You pant heavily, head lolled against his shoulder before small snickers slip past your mouth. You couldn't believe you just fucking did that.
Miguel pulls you off of him, but still keeps you close. Looking you deep in the eye, thinking that he's going to pull you in for another kiss until—
Meooooooowwwwwww...
You freeze in place, brows furrowing as you quickly turn your head to your bedroom door, waiting for a few seconds before that grating sound of claw marks against wood rings in your ears again and you sigh. Miguel doesn't seem entirely fazed though, his grip on your waist loosens as he allows you to step back.
"Someone's upset." You state, taking slow strides over to your door. You don't want to leave Miguel yet.
"You can take it if you want," He shrugs his shoulders, spinning the wine in the glass then taking a sip. "Then we could continue where we left off." A wolfish grin curls at his lips.
Without hesitation, you open the door. Cooing and reassuring Pawker that you still loved him even though Miguel's tongue was down your throat not even a minute ago.
What a cat he was.
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