#victim language is perfectly acceptable because sometimes... you /are/ a victim | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cinnamonest · 2 years

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(this now has a part two here!)

//breeding, sex-based victimization stuff, violence stuff, dehumanizing language (?) incredibly degenerate, enjoy this quick thought I had (but ignore the existence of female oni and the genetic logic here for me okay I need this)

I've been remembering the concept mentioned in the Itto profile about how historically, oni were probably feared to an extent by humans, which (combined with the fact that Itto is prime candidate for absolute caveman behavior) leads to the concept of a darker alternate history where they're both 1) even stronger and 2) neither subspecies made any effort to become buddy-buddy with the humans, and instead just sort of utilized their strength to terrorize them and thus get what they want from the humans (including mates!). Seeing as thus the species staying a far ways away from each other, there's also some mild dialectical language differences and thus a pseudo-language barrier where they can sorta understand their victims, but not fully. No need to try and understand, the humans are the inferior species anyway, and are essentially just vulnerable creatures asking to be raided and terrorized.

Like these super strong humanoids could probably take on a considerable amount of people at once. So if they come and take something, no one is going to stop them. If an oni comes bumbling into your farmland and picks up a sheep? That's their sheep now. Not a damn thing you can do about it if you don't want to be picked up and hurled to the other side of the property, if not just get your head caved in, so most humans will just have to accept it.

Rural living and farmers are still a thing, but the average farmer would much rather have their livestock picked off by predatory animals. One, because the oni are much smarter and will be more likely to come back in the future for seconds, and two, because they often also may spot some equipment or tools that seem useful, and they'll just snatch that up with the other hand as well. The more fearless (or stupid, seeing as they have no way of knowing how well-armed a village is) ones will sometimes find themselves stumbling across small defenseless villages and similarly take whatever they find. If one decides to raid your property, they'll take anything they see that looks appealing -- your livestock, your harvests, your tools... and, if you're particularly unlucky, potentially any daughters, wives or sisters you have who happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and cross paths with the creature.

Of course, humans initially thought they were some monstrous, barbaric species looking to eat humans, but it doesn't take long to recognize some patterns in the victims. It's usually sex-based on which victims are chosen (aside from the occasional small boy that was unfortunately mistakeable for female), not the plumpest or biggest individuals, which would have been more ideal if eating them was the intent. Instead, they just seem to take the opportunity of stumbling across a human female of a grabbable shape and size (which, for their race as strong as theirs, means pretty much any shape and size) and grab them, sling them over their shoulder and head back off, ignoring all the squealing and kicking. And once people start spotting and interacting with half-oni that start popping up, the actual fate of those presumed eaten individuals becomes clear. They're not being taken as prey for eating, just as brood sows.

The thing is, despite how all of that may sound, and in contrast to human misconceptions, they're not necessarily mean or anything. They're not some heartless, unfeeling creatures, nor like animals with no complex thought. Maybe some are mean, but most aren't; they have individual personalities, just like humans. Some are perfectly nice! They're just following basically the standard, a custom so normalized that it's never questioned. None of them think of it as wrong or harmful in any way, nor stop to consider that the human's will is meaningful in any way.

Think of it like how humans have dogs. Sure, maybe if left unrestrained, the dog would go wandering all around, far beyond the limits of the walls or fence or leash that normally restrains it, but that doesn't mean that it's somehow doing the dog a disservice or transgression, nor making it unhappy, by keeping it in said fence or house. The dog is perfectly content with it's limited range, and more importantly, letting your dog go out unrestrained would eventually almost certainly lead to it getting lost, injured, or even killed. Which is sound logic in that case.

Except in their minds, humans are no different! That's if you asked the oni and not the humans. Besides, if the human was unhappy, it would attack. But they don't. Sure, sometimes if frustrated they will punch and kick and bite and pull and stuff, but it's so weak that certainly not their maximum strength right? It's only play fighting, or cathartic, not a serious effort. If they really wanted to be freed, they'd hit way harder than that. And if the humans were running around all the time, they'd get hurt, they have a knack for getting their weak bodies injured, so it's good they're kept from doing so. And their human male counterparts are super weak, they could never keep them as safe.

So yes, they don't perceive themselves as cruel or as doing anything wrong at all. If you asked the average one, he would probably think of himself as a great caretaker! Anything that sets foot near his human gets its skull caved in, and he keeps the human well-fed. Sure, it's not like he asked the human if it wanted to come along or anything, but that's just... how it's done. And even if it protests, again, it's more like a dog howling at the front door wanting to go run in the yard during a storm -- it's just not good for it, but the dog doesn't know that.

They don't really think about the complexities and potential feelings of the humans regarding the rituals and norms, they just register in their minds as what one does. It's the standard behavior they're raised to mimic. For an oni, once you're grown, you go out, prowl about near human societies, find an ideal human, pick it up by the leg and carry it back home! Then you lock it up and keep it stowed away forever, breed the human and have lots of halfling offspring, and raise them to do the same. Is that not basically the same as what humans do amongst themselves? Thus, there's no reason to question it.

Sometimes, though, the acquisition of a human girl can be a bit difficult, because for some reason they always stay close to their villages and rarely ever go out by themselves. And if they see oni, their eyes get all wide, they freeze up for a second before they run off, squealing like a pig all the while. Thus, there are some common pieces of wisdom and warnings and tips passed on communally and generationally. For example, if you chase the screaming she-human and follow it into its village, sometimes the villagers will try and chase you away with pitchforks and beans and other defensive measures, and you might end up with a pitchfork stab wound or worse. They tend to sort of gather in groups to defend the place, making you have to go through them to get to the one you were after. And while one human would be easy to take down, they can get frustrating to deal with in larger numbers... besides, when you start pulling them apart, it makes a mess. Can't blame them for wanting to keep the breeding creatures to themselves, though.

The goal is to find one that strays a bit too far from the other humans, and preferably isn't paying close attention to its surroundings. The best bet is in the rural areas -- less walls, less population, less weapons, less humans hear the screaming, lots of such advantages.

That being said, oni know also that there is no need to be discriminate, except in a few select areas. There are advantages and disadvantages to any shape of human. If the human is small and narrow, that just makes it easier to pick it up and toss it around. If the human is one of the more curved-looking ones, it makes it better for breeding. So on and so on. The only real area where it's good to be discriminate is to ensure it's a weaker one, just makes it more easy to deal with. Not that the strong ones can really compete with oni strength, but they break out of restraints more easily.

Regardless, upon stumbling across a human, a good strategy is to kind of move around the human first, get on its other side so you're in between it and its village, so the only direction it can run in is further into the wilderness. Then it will get all disoriented and start running in circles, and often basically end up getting turned around and running back towards you. However, humans, particularly this smaller, weaker half, are not particularly athletically capable by oni standards, so they get tired really quickly, so it's easy to just chase them until they exhaust themselves and collapse, doesn't take very long at all. The downside being they may trip and injure themselves in the process.

Notably, they squirm around and squeal a lot when you try to breed them, but that's totally normal too, that'll stop after a while. Their bodies aren't really made for such large insertions, human males are much smaller in that department. But just because they're not used to it, or that it's not what their bodies are idealized for, doesn't mean they can't handle it, or that it harms them. Maybe hurts in the sense that they might flinch and whimper and squirm a bit, but it doesn't actually do any damage.

...So yes, all of that information composes the mindset that you are going to be dealing with. Likewise, humans do the inverse. Human society deals with it the same way they dealt with every danger in older times, warning children through some kind of cautionary folktale about what to not do once they're grown up. Making up something about how people who go off on their own, or even just don't stay within the boundaries of their village, will get snatched up and taken away by some horrible horned monster. Of course, they leave out what happens after the matter to make it more child-friendly, but it scares kids nonetheless, which thus accomplishes the goal of making sure they're wary once they reach adulthood, and thereby enter the primary age for being targets. As an adult, you're given the more bluntly honest and true to reality version of the warning meant to be conveyed, that if you stray too far away from your home by yourself, you might end up getting dragged off and kept as some breeding toy forever.

But as with all potential dangers in life, people simply get so used to safety that they start to take chances. It can't hurt just this one time, becomes the mentality. You did something similar -- you had been on a day trip, with a group of course, and noticed a missing object when you returned. You're aware of the dangers (there's plenty, since wild animals are also a threat), but... you allow yourself to follow that line of thinking, that it's just one quick trip outside. It won't be hard to find. And if you see anything, you won't be far from home, so you can run back fast if you need. You'll find it in no time, anyway, you'll only be gone a few minutes.

And you do. You spot the missing object within seconds. If you grab it now and run back home, the whole ordeal would only take a few minutes.

You bend at the knee and stoop down, extend your arm to reach down and grab it. But your hand doesn't make contact with it before you feel a harsh tug at your throat where the collar of your shirt is pulled taut against it, the fabric being pulled at from behind you. In the blink of an eye, your feet leave the ground.

You flail. You kick. You spew curses and snarl. It doesn't seem to have any effect on the creature holding you up in the air. Of course, that's expected for a human girl to do. They think they're going to be eaten, and they're just not used to being held up in the air and all that, which is why the human will panic when their feet aren't on the ground, and even in your weird little human dialect, the "put me down!" is distinguishable. But there's ways to handle that.

After a moment of your thrashing, you feel your center of gravity flip as you're quickly rotated upside-down, head hanging down and held up by a single hand gripped around your ankles. It helps the human get all of its panic out and eventually makes them calm down (if you hold it like that long enough, it will even go to sleep!). Sure enough, you do in fact stop struggling, after a few minutes.

You soon realize, contrary to the common depiction of the oni species, this one doesn't seem to be mean. He seems pretty happy, flips you back upright, smiling and patting you on the head. He says something you don't understand, and then moves to grab both your arms before throwing you upward, hauling you over the shoulder so your hips rest on top of it while your upper body hangs down.

You make some noise to the best of your ability. Your head is spinning and you're disoriented from the sudden movement, but you cry out and yell, hoping to catch the attention of anyone that can hear you.

Why do the humans do this? Who knows. Oh well. You chose this.

You're set back down on your feet, very softly and with great care. Humans are fragile. This is another piece of critical information told to young oni as a warning to be cautious, as their frail little human limbs and skulls crack far too easily, and their bodies take forever to heal from such wounds. So while you can sling them around as needed to some extent, it's common advice to be careful not to grab them too hard, and be careful of where you toss them, make sure they always land on a soft surface, and make sure you put them down softly when you're putting their feet to the ground.

...However, despite the two pieces of conventional wisdom perhaps contradicting, there's another way to deal with the noise. You stand disoriented for a moment, just about to take off running before there's an sound and a jolt of pain and everything goes black. A technique in which, if you hit the she-human's head with one good thwack, it will fall asleep instantly. It's very convenient for situations such as these. But no need for worry, it doesn't hurt the human... At least that's what others have said.

As it turns out, it really works! Now you're nice and quiet, not to mention completely limp aside from breathing. It makes it much easier to quickly carry you off, far, far away from your home. The humans have a decent sense of direction after all, so there's a risk of you getting out and running back home if you're not far away enough. And then he'd have to go in and most likely bludgeon a bunch of other humans to a pile of meaty mush just to get you back, and that's just such a hassle, you know?

#I WILL continue this at some point I cannot be stopped #I WILL expel the degeneracy from my system #.it #yan.txt

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pluckysidekick · 1 year

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I’m back with Part 2 of my in depth breakdown of The Maiden’s Rage, Episode 2 of Nancy Drew Season 4. Part 1 is here. When I rewatched closely I realized how much was packed into every frame, hence this ridiculously detailed analysis. Starting Part 2 with the moment Ace accidentally splashes Nancy with the poisoned water.

Trigger Warning:

TW: I will be going into the transformation Nancy goes through that leads to abusive language and behavior toward Ace in this post.

Kennedy posted this monitor shot where they captured the moment of contact perfectly.

Now why Nancy is affected the way she is, is still in question. She posits later that it’s because Logan’s frame of mind latched onto her. But why? If the poison is related to the sins of the past - does Nancy not have any? Or is she somehow channeling one of her Hudson forefathers? And did she take on this persona not just because of Logan’s repressed memories, but because of her high handed treatment of Ace? It’s not the same as what she becomes of course, but she did take away his agency in the name of protecting him.

This car scene of course evokes the 3x13 forecast scene. The contrast of their happiness in the forecast and their strife here - even before the whammy takes hold - is painful. I do love how Ace stands up for himself and doesn’t let Nancy go unchecked as she continues to stonewall him.

Now when Nancy leaves Ace behind after they visit Logan, if you notice, he’s doubled over. He’s in shock at being left. She leaves Ace on the side of the road, where in 313 she cradled his body. This time he’s alive, but psychically injured by her toxic behavior.

Jade and Nick’s date was super awkward but they are adorable together. I’m interested to see where it goes. I love Fanson and would like to see them come back together, but I really like the friendship George and Nick are developing too.

When the whole crew come together it’s always gold. The way everyone just so casually accepts that Nancy has a supernatural thing going on, even Nick, is priceless. He’s come a long way from the scene in 206 in the same kitchen when Ace was about to autopsy the lamia (a classic Nick reaction shot).

Speaking of Ace, while there are some very difficult moments in this episode for him, his taking offense at the idea of he and Nick being classed with toxic dudes was so meta for me. One of my favorite things about this show is that our male heros are not traditional alpha male types (and we love them for it). The characters actually acknowledging this within the story is awesome.

Of course Nancy (and Kennedy) gets to go full on comedy here with the Nan-spreading. Kennedy’s performance is so effortless in this episode. She is so convincing as Bro-Nancy it actually makes us uncomfortable as the episode goes on. Seeing her treat sweet Ace this way is as heartbreaking as it is hilarious, especially in the tenuous space they are in right now with their relationship.

I swear the writers are reading fanfic 💀. The scene preceding this where George and Nick are so respectful of each other is the polar opposite of Nancy’s whammy induced behavior here. There are tons of great GIFs from this scene and of Nancy’s jealousy.

Now this is the moment where Ace has had enough. It’s beautifully played by both actors - look at their contrasting expressions. Ace, ever the respectful gentleman, simply walks away. The torture he’s been put through in season 3 and so far in this season is really too much for one person. That apology had better be good (we will discuss later!).

This was one of my favorite moments in this episode - Bess assuring Ace that his feelings are valid, and their Platanchor-ness is a beautiful thing. Still - we hear Ace excuse Nancy’s behavior here, mirroring the way victims of abuse sometimes try to rationalize their treatment. Ace saying he would “put on the armor” is a clue to what’s about to happen.

This entire fight scene is tough to watch (for me anyway), but it was masterfully done by all involved. The setup of a domestic scene with Ace in the traditional feminine role and Nancy as the abusive male partner was so real - from Ace’s body language (holding his hips, opening the oven, looking downward), to Nancy’s quick progression from conciliatory (“how can I make us OK?”), to suggestive (“I’ll tell you all about the time we did get together”), to accusatory (“are you rejecting me?”), to Ace’s soft voice and firm “I’m done”, it’s simply devastating.

The actual fight is fast and furious. It certainly evokes the Ace and Bess sword fight from 215, with Ace defending himself without hurting Nancy, but it’s more personal, and honestly for me more upsetting because we’ve been waiting so patiently to see them together.

While the fight is of course supernatural poison-induced, the issues of Nancy and Ace’s power imbalance, and their natural tendencies (Nancy to boss, Ace to be passive aggressive), are real, and I hope we get to see them work on them throughout the season. I truly believe they are soulmates and perfect for each other - but that doesn’t mean they are perfect, and they will need to navigate their relationship to have the amazing life together we all want for them. I am confident we will get to see come to fruition.

The quiet desperation and absurd politeness here - so perfectly Ace!

There is so much more, including that incredible final scene, but alas will have to wait for my final 402 post, becuse I had too much to say and too many screencaps!

I highly recommend @likestosolvethepuzzle’s take on Ace’s POV during and after the fight, Not this Nancy. While it generally follows the show, it also goes deeper into the same issues I’ve discussed here (we’ve had a lot of conversations since the show aired), and gives us the insight and some slightly tweaked scenes with a resolution that I really love. 10/10!

Update: Part 3

#nancy drew #nancy drew cw #nace #ace [redacted]#ndcw #Nancy drew season 4 #Nancy drew s4 #4x02 #kennedy mcmann #alex saxon #nancy drew spoilers

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struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor · 8 months

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Regarding your last post, I thought the same while watching the behind the scenes of the MV. This is not a shade because I myself am not fluent in English and still need to improve a lot but to me it seems quite obvious Jungkook’s English isn’t as good as some Army like to pretend (I’m going to get call names…). I would say he’s around a low intermediate level, which is perfectly fine, he has a busy life so it doesn’t let him a lot of time to study. I guess his understanding is better than his speaking skills, which is usually the case for most of language learners, but orally I don’t think he fully grasps all the meanings and nuances and the slang etc. I just want to say again this is not me trying to belittle his abilities, it’s only my opinion, but to me it doesn’t look like he fully understands what he sings… his face expressions in that video, it looks like sometimes he was a bit clueless. I’m not saying he has no idea of what he is singing, obviously he got a full translation before accepting the project but he doesn’t look like he truly "feels" the lyrics and immerge himself in it. Idk, for me it lacks something and that video made me a bit uncomfortable. I know I’m being a bit dramatic but I can’t shake the feeling that the industry is using him for cash and immediate success without paying much attention to who he his, his personality, his artistry. And another collab is on the way with Kid Laroi apparently… I’m losing interest. I want to hear Jungkook on his own, with a song made only for him and that reflects who he is as a person and an artist. I miss that feeling, seeing him perform so honestly, when you can see on his face and hear in his voice how much he feels the song, how deep he goes to find the emotions and bring them to the surface. I truly hope there will be songs on his album that makes me feel connected to him again because at the moment it feels like I am totally unable to enjoy what he’s doing.

I don't even know if he bothered translating Jack Harlow's parts tbh. I remember one Run BTS episode where they had to sing their songs without using English, so they had to translate some lyrics to Korean, and, apart from RM, the members didn't even know what the English lyrics meant. I remember J-Hope being shocked, like, "So this is what this part means?", which was a bit wild for me since it was his song. Tbh, I don't bother reading the translation to most kpop songs. I only know what the tts mean because most MVs have subtitles now. If not, then too bad... Most songs have boring lyrics so it's often best if I don't know them. It's different for the artist, but I still can't be certain that Jungkook bothered finding out the translation to Jack's parts although he's the type to. Maybe he was so busy he didn't bother? Maybe he recorded his parts and only gave his blessing to the final version which included Jack's verses, without approving the lyrics beforehand. He doesn't seem the type to control what other people write in their own verses. Maybe he was too busy to translate the lyrics and only did it later? All seem to be possible options. The fact that Jungkook had to be coached to do the right facial expressions and gestures for his TikTok with Jack made it seem like he wasn't sure at all what the lyrics meant - at least then. It also makes me confident that he doesn't know what "rain, rain, rain" or "champagne, confetti" really mean. I think Jungkook cares more about melody and the vibe than lyrics.

Anyway, I don't think the industry is using him. He's not a victim anymore than anyone else. He's making his own choices, as much as someone in the industry can. Of course Big Hit loves the choices he's making because he's doing so well commercially, but I think he's made it clear that he loves what he's been doing. And if he's letting other people make choices for him, the blame is on him too, because he's in a position where he can say no.

I also want to hear Jungkook on his own, but, unless he's truly being pressured into only doing collabs for whatever reason, these are the choices he's making.

Thanks for the ask!

#ask #bts #jungkook #text #thanks for the ask

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slayter-kinney · 2 years

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i really don’t want this to be taken the wrong way, and i know that this statement does not apply to every situation, but i do just want to put out that in some cases it’s perfectly acceptable to just say “women,” and non-men who don’t identify as women can decide whether or not it applies to them.

example: if you’re talking about the fear that women have about walking alone at night, you don’t have to say “people with uteruses, feminine presenting people, people with breasts, etc.” you can just say “women fear walking alone at night,” because it is a broad experience of many women to have that fear. you can say “women who live alone are sometimes at risk of being targeted by stalkers due to the fact that they are women,” and it’s not necessarily exclusive of non-men who are not women, BECAUSE the fear and risk of this demographic is because of the way hetero-patriarchal society treats women. a stalker isn’t going to stop pursuing someone and wishing harm to them because they’re actually nonbinary, and it doesn’t change the fact that this act of violence is rooted in misogyny regardless of the gender identity of the victim.

i know that gender and gender identity are obviously complex things, but some of the language used in online queer spaces really does seem to just group people into “men” versus “women and non-men,” which is obviously harmful for many communities. i’m sure we’ve all seen “spaces for women and non-binary people,” clearly equating non-binary people to a “woman-lite” identity. and now some online queer spaces are trying to change the definition of lesbianism to “non-men attracted to non-men.” ofc a lot of lesbians have complex gender identities, often due to their identity as lesbians, but have you ever heard someone suggest changing the label of gay (in the mlm definition) to “non-women attracted to non-women?”

all i’m trying to say is, it’s okay to use broad labels, and allow individuals to determine if the experience, etc being described fits for them.

(and ps- i will be deleting this post if anyone adds on any t*rf nonsense and you will be blocked)

#queer #lgbtq #feminism #misogyny #mine

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slashingdisneypasta · 3 years

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Supernatural!MultiVillains x Reader || Drabbles

Plots / Includes: I wanted to do some more traditional monster/victim stuff so here we go! Okay so Bowzer isn't exactly traditional but he's serving as the sorta dragon-type. Let me have Bowzer. Sort of fairytale/black and white movie feels hopefully.

Basically- MONSTERS.

Bowser x reader || Monstrous Captor ||- Your Prince Charming is on his way- but maybe the way the monster gets your heart beating, and the size of his hands; the total non-humanness of the thing, and the honest way he talks to you... will get to you first.

Ghost!The Deathslinger / Caleb Quinn x reader || A Ghost ||- You work at what used to be, the Hellshire Penitentiary, which is now a hotel rather then a prison. Not all of the place is used, and what isn't is creepy as hell and rumoured to be haunted because of its terrible history, but these abandoned depths are exactly where the laundry room is. And you are in charge of laundry... which leaves you plenty of time, with the mysterious ghost you know i truly real, and who sometimes reveals himself to you; Caleb Quinn.

Duke (The Night) x reader || A Vampire ||- You've always wanted more then this plain, typical life that's been set out for you by the universe. And he's offering you so, so much more... but you know just as much will be taken away if you accept. Still, its getting harder and harder to hold out.

Hades x reader || The King of the Underworld ||- Some people get proposed to by men with dowries, and flowers, and a nice townhouse. Some people say yes the first time. Some people's suitors stop asking after they say no. In none of these ways are you some people.

Inkubus x reader || An Incubi Demon ||- You meet a mysterious fellow on your walk home from work, late at night. And he says all the right things.

*PLATONIC Seedeater x reader || A Wild Beast ||- You're out camping one night with an insufferable man, who you refuse to even consider as a suitor though your family desperately want you to, when a wild beats tears into your camp ground and an interference from you causes your suitors bullet to miss- and the monster to kill him, instead.

Ursula x reader || A Sea Witch ||- You make a deal with the devil, and now you belong to her.

Warnings: Monster loving (Perhaps some monster fucking... later... ). Kissing. And Duke must drink your blood a lil. Just a tad. A LIL. A sIP.

Song recommendations: Just A Little Peck (I Kissed A Vampire), Twisted Teeth (35MM), Enchanted Ballroom (Derek Fiechter), any part of Danny Elfman's Alice In Wonderland Soundtrack, Queen Of The Damned (Richard Gibbs)

Bowzer || Monstrous Captor ||

"Let me out! Let me- Edward will come." You assure your captor, a tone in your voice that is demanding and proud- just as royal as your ancestors had been. His glowing golden eyes grin at you from the darkness beyond the bars you're locked behind- they force you to feel their stare. They demand that you know, he's looking.

Nevertheless!- "He's going to come save me, and when he arrives he's going to slice your head off!"

"Hm," The monsters deep voice reverberates throughout the room, ricocheting off the stone walls as he turns and heads for the door. "Graphic language for a young royal. You've haven't been here an hour yet and you talk like that? Heh, you'll fit in perfectly."

You gasp, outraged and scowling as your fingers encircle the cold metal bars- tightly. "Go to hell."

"Ohhh, scary." He rolls his eyes, opening the tower door and slipping through it. His parting words, though, seem to hang in the air even after his heavy, stomping footsteps disappear down the stairs.

"Aren't we already there, sweetheart?"

He came back hours later when the sky is a deep blue, and the stars are out and you have an oddly lovely, calming view from your tower prison, with dinner- some blue sludge and chunk of bread. The monster slides it under the bars of your human-sized cage

That calm feeling from looking at the sky disappears the moment he looks at you; Replaced by a powerful, aching feeling all over your body.

Bowser's voice is akin to massive, heavy tires carrying a dense load slowly over the ground. That crumble and growl of slowly crunching stones under rubber.

He also sounds amused. "Sorry, your highness. But you'll get better to eat once you start behaving yourself; Actin' like the consort for me that you're going to be- for now, though, chow down. That's the best you're going to get from us."

"Consort for you?" Your head swims, but your eyes narrow like you're stable, and not shocked. He wants you be to what now!?- The corners of his strong mouth lift up an evil grin. "Like hell."

His face twists up in a mischievous grin, now, reminding you of what he had said earlier.

This is hell as far as you're concerned... as far as he knows.

As it should, be...

You press your lips tightly together and kneel down to your food, not quite sure what to say. What is there? There's no point! All you can do, is wait for Edward to come. He's probably close, just trying to get into the castle... figuring out where you are... As you tear off some bread and eat it, you find a little spark of dread blossoming in the pit of your stomach at the thought.

Despite being locked up, the last couple hours here have been peaceful, to be entirely truthful. Not that you don't want to leave this cell, but... at least nothing has been expected of you. Nothing except for you to be you, in your rawness. Just sit, and be alive, and be the person some people call Y/N.

You haven't been expected to talk like you know what the hell your talking about, or to think like those stuffy old goats that call themselves royal advisers... or worry about getting married to a virtual stranger...

Yes, Edward is lovely. Or he, seems, lovely. You've only known him since his parents shipped him over a few weeks ago, and most of your meetings have involved your parents. But while he's very handsome, too, and also admittedly has quite a decent sense of humour, and you do like him - you may even develop a crush on him one of these days, - , your relationship is certainly in no shape resembling engagement!

... But you are engaged. Neither of you have a choice.

And so he makes your stomach turn a little bit every time look at him, no matter how much you might like him otherwise.

As you're contemplatively chowing down on your bread, slowly making the chunk disappear, Bowzer is watching you... wondering what you're thinking. You're so lost in your thoughts, which are so full of dread and misfortune, that you somehow completely miss the monstrous form slipping across the room and into your cell- only getting your attention when he clicks the cell lock loudly into its place again. Your head snaps his way, eyes widening to see the creature in your cell now, with you. It makes your heart start to beat rapidly with panic as your eyes resemble dinner plates.

"You seem pretty lost in thought there, Y/N." He says your name casually, lightly, like he's known you for years. His eyes narrow, then. "Care to talk about it?" The corners of his tough, gnarly mouth lift up in the smallest grin, looking out the little window. "S' not like I'm gonna tell anyone- no one listens to the monster."

You roll your eyes, immediately dropping your shoulders in frustration and muttering through grit teeth, before you can think through what you're telling him. "Yeah well no one listens to me, either." He just seemed so right- he's separate from your normal life. If you're going to talk to someone, it would have to be him.

It might be a mistake... but now words are tumbling out of you and there's nothing you can do about it. "Everyone seems to know what's best for me without my input!... " Suddenly you get quiet, eyes downcast. "At least that's what they say... - my parents, - that what they do," The decisions they make without you. "is what's best for me... but sometimes I think its more like; What's best for the kingdom. Not, me."

The King Kooper is contemplatively silent for a few moments, still gazing out the little window - that shows little more then starry night sky and ocean, - , his big leathery arms held behind his back in an uncharacteristically thoughtful pose- eyes calm looking. Its a weird way to see the violent Kooper King, that you've been told for so long is noting but filth and fury... act calm, and thoughtful.

And its because of something you, said. You told him something and he's stopping to actually, really think about it...

That makes you feel powerful, for the first time in who-remembers-how-long. Maybe ever. You feel like you aren't just talking to a wall... like your parents. And the ambassadors, and the advisers, and the maids and cooks and everyone else that tells you what to do back home.

Eventually he shifts, and you listen to his words with an entirely knew outlook on him for the first time. Really wondering what he has to say. Really considering any proposition he may have come up with.

"... So you're saying, that if I promised that you would be made involved in decisions, and whatever, that you would be more inclined to... say yes?" He peaks over his shoulder at you, dangerous, dark eyes narrowed and lips pressed firmly together, watching you for any physical responses. He looks so imposing at this moment - well, he always does, - but in this moment it doesn't scare you. Rather, it intrigues you. Impresses you.

He really is impressive to look at, you find as you finally allow yourself to really look... He's spiky and tough, from head to toe, with a shock of red hair atop his head. He looks like one of his hands wrap around your body very damn nearly, and lift you up all on its own- easy. Muscle bound and... monstrous, yes. But is that such a bad thing?

Really, you aren't so sure that it is. Certainly not enough to stop you from wanting it, even just secretly.

You tilt your head to the side. "What kind of decisions?"

You watch his imposing - which is a word that can so easily turn into magnificent, - shoulders roll back, as the penny finally d r o p s, - along with your remaining inhibitions.

"All of them?"

When Edward comes, its already far too late. This is days after your capture, days after you agreed to stay with Bowser,

Days after you married him.

He comes thrashing in, outfit torn and sword dirty- mud leading all the way up to his shoulder and from his feet to his knees, and face stuck in a concerning state of... shock. Maybe it would soon turn into unabashed fear - As far as you could tell, Edward was never the type to pretend when he was anything other then charming. Its one of the lovely things about him. But you wanted more then lovely, - , but right then he had a job to do.

And you saw this look, and you understood it... too bad you weren't going with him to complete that job. You didn't need to be saved. And you didn't want to go home.

Still, as soon as you saw him break in through the front doors - as Bowser had let you out of your cell the moment you were married and allowed you free reign of the castle, - , you rushed over - nearly tripping down multiple stairs but not really caring, - and catch him before he slipped to his knees from exhaustion, and brush back his hair- assessing him for any serious wounds. "Edward! Are you okay??"

He lifts his head to assess you in turn, finding you perfectly fine and being slightly confused- bust mostly relieved. "I'm fine... I'm fine... Are- are you alright?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine." The words the slipped so easily out of you cause you to cringe- maybe you should have lied a little bit? Here is Edward, clearly worn and tired from fighting his way to save you... and you're 'fine'? Damn.

Edward lifts his head again, then, and raises a brow. "You're fine? Well, uh, that's good. Um... " Carefully you lift your hands off of him, and he straightens up as you both quickly calm down from seeing each other- returning to your typical polite awkwardness around eachother. The way it would have always been, if you had married him. You watch his -lovely, - green eyes slip over the scenery, focused and looking for the threat as you chew the inside of your cheek, hugging your arms to yourself now- how do you break it to him?

And how do you do it before Bowzser realises he's here?

"So um, come on. We should get out of here- " Edward goes to pick up your hand and lead you out, but you flinch away from him... and he seems to finally gather, at that, that something here is off. Or, he already knew, but now he admits it to himself. Something is not quite right. You're not quite right. His brows furrow and knit together, lips pressing together as he tilts his head to the side in bewilderment, and concern. "Are you okay?"

"Edward... I... " You run your bottom lip through your teeth, looking around for any signs of the King Kooper yourself; Nervous he might turn up and hurt Edward. And even more nervous about telling Edward... what you've done. "I'm not going back with you."

"Wait- what?" You had his full attention from the start but now you can feel it- his scepticism and his patience. Waiting for you to tell him why- why he has just made it through miles and miles of fiery earth and fought through monsters to get to you and save you... just for you to tell him it was for nothing. Why he's going to have to return to your parents empty handed.

You want to explain it to him, you do. But how do you even begin? "I'm sorry, Edward- " You suddenly hear heavy movement down a hallway to your right, and your wide eyes snap back to Edward who's mirroring you, but gripping his sword- ready for a fight. "- But you have to go. I'm- I'm really sorry- " You turn him around by the shoulders and guide him out the door, shutting the huge, grand front doors behind the both of you and leaning against them and listening out for any sounds inside.

"Y/N- " Edward looks seriously at you, slightly miffed but easily controlling himself - because he's a genuinely good guy. - , searching for an answer. Waiting for it. "You need to tell me right now, why I stuck my neck out for you on a journey that is going to be just as hard on the way back, just so you could tell me to bugger off."

"I'm- " What can you say? I'm married to him now? I'm happy here? None of that sounds quite right. Maybe there's no way to say it. Your cheeks are aflame in embarrassment, and you're looking away to the ground beside his feet in unsureness. You just want this all to be over.

Then, finally, your eyes flicker up to Edward's, and slowly raise your hand. His eyes widen and he takes a step back.

On your ring finger sits a ring made of igneous rock, and Edward realises what that means immediately- and one look at your face tells him all he needs to know about your willingness in the union. He lowers his sword.

Neither of you say a thing for a few moments, just looking at each other. Its an odd thing, two people who were supposed to be more then they are or ever would be, who could have been more, looking at each other with fresh eyes and knowing neither of those things are ever going to happen. You have no clue what's going through Edward's mind, and you wish he would say something. Just say something, so you know where you stand. What you should be doing. Should you disappear quietly or explain yourself more?

Finally, finally, he opens his mouth. For a moment no words come out, and you're afraid he's going to close it again, when he takes a deep breath. "So- "

Then the doors behind you suddenly open and, as you were leaning on them, you plunge backwards- before a huge almost-familiar, but certainly not unwelcome, hand catches you and pushes you up right- and when you look behind you and up, Bowser is glaring daggers at Edward. That huge hand rests on your shoulder and his tail sets itself on the ground around you, protectively. "What's happening out here."

Edward, not a fool, takes up his sword again at seeing the threat, eyes hard. He does not swing though. He does not make a move as stupid as that. Bowzer smirks, his bumpy, gnarly lips pulled into a grotesque, obnoxiously dangerous grin. You take in a deep breath. "He's leaving."

"Doesn't look like he's leaving. Looks, like he's threatening me."

You look up at him again, craning your neck to do so, and crossing your arms. The look on your face determined, and firm, and just slightly annoyed. He said he'd listen to you- he better not be going back on that deal. It takes a few moments, but eventually he gives up on stubbornly keeping his gaze averted from you, looking down his chest at your little face that demands so much respect, and eventually love, from him, and rolls eyes deeply. "He's leaving." You repeat sternly, hissing out the words. Showing your meat as a Koopa royal yourself, now, and he cant help but listen.

You look back to Edward, who's eyes go from Bowzer to you... surprised. His sword arm slowly lowers again. "Fine." Bowzer growls out, in displeasure as your eyes soften on Edward. In goodbye. "You can leave alive, prince. But don't come back."

"Trust me, I wont." Edward agrees, flashing Bowzer a glance half-respectfully, but mostly just glad to leave. Then he looks at you one final time, not-quite understanding why you're doing this, but understanding that you are. And that you want to. And knowing that's enough, and that he has no stake in the matter. "Goodluck."

You cross your arms over your stomach, flashing him a warm, hesitant smile, and return to sentiment wholly. "Goodluck." For even though you're staying back in the Koopa Kingdom, with Bowzer... he's got to return to your old lives, and fix up your mess. In both your minds, the other has the worst situation.

Then finally, Edward turns his back on you, waives and walks off- along with the life you never wanted. And you feel total relief.

Because while he is lovely, and fancy foods are lovely, and your parents, are lovely... Lovely isn't for you.

As Edward slinks off, Bowzer returns his full attention to you, a small victorious grin on his face. His eyes flicker deliciously over you, and you turn around all to happy to sit and splendour under his attention. "Now your majesty... what shall we do with the rest of our day?"

Your flash him a dark, mischievous look.

Ghost!The Deathslinger / Caleb Quinn || A Ghost ||

"Oof," You moan, as the load of sheets in your arms is dropped off into the washing machine, and you're released from its burden weighing you down. Throwing the door closed and listening to it click shut, you press a few buttons on the top of the machine and turn a dial before walk away listening to it rumble awake.

As you walk back towards the centre table, you feel that familiar prickly feeling, the nauseated sick feeling, the unmistakable inkling that you're being watched crawl up all over you suddenly, where it hadn't been for the first ten minutes of you being here. It means that someone, a ghost certainly, and Caleb hopefully, is watching you. A smile slips across your lips as it always will at the notion of Caleb, and even better the idea that he's near, but you do not say anything- lest you scare him off.

He does that, sometimes. Your ghost; Caleb. He makes his presence known - by grazing his fingers over your skin, or hair, or sliding and clicking the barrel of his shotgun into place,- , but apparently doesn't want you to respond, so quickly then disappears again when you call out to him.

And you're no fool- you've picked up on it. And you wont act like a ditz and try anything too accelerated for his tastes. Not if seeing him is on the line.

So you just hop up onto the folding table, your legs hanging off the end and swaying slightly, and pick up your book. You bring it for times like these, when you're stuck doing laundry for hours and you know you'll have to wait out Caleb - assuming he comes out at all, - , to make the time go faster. Or- not faster. Because you enjoy this time, in the spooky, dark depths of the old penitentiary turned bed and breakfast. The place has a gruesome past, which is the whole reason you went out for this particular job, and the foreboding feeling of terror that climbs all over you and makes an almost stifling home on your skin like ectoplasm that comes with feeling that... and all the ghosts watching you, wondering about you... is really entertaining. In fact, its the only time you truly feel alive- so close to death.

Especially sweet, horrifying, cranky, secretive Caleb.

Humming, listening to the washing machine toss and turn the pretty flowery sheets so mildly violently, you read. You don't know for how long you read, but it felt like an all-consuming while, though not long enough for the washing to be done,... before, finally, you get a sign.

See, the laundry room is made up of a couple of rooms - they used to be cells, - and the hallway between them which is where the folding table is situated. The bars had long been taken away from most of the old cells and inside them live various washers, dryers, and basic storage. To anyone sane, the place would be far too horrible and scary to sit in so calmly - and don't get yourself wrong, you do find it to be both of those things... even unbearable at times... but it just so happens that that sets off a dangerous heat between your legs, and delicious excitement in your soul, -. But anyway, a few feet in front of where you're sitting, is a cell that still has its bars attached. In fact, the door is still locked, and no matter how hard or what the construction workers had tried- it would not budge.

You assume, nowadays, that that was Caleb's cell. And he doesn't want anyone else trespassing.

In that cell, right now, you watch out of your peripheral vision as the dust kicks up off the floor and the bed suddenly, in the dark of the room, and leans back as it shapes itself slowly into the vague image of a man. At least, you assume its a man. You're afraid if you look up now, he'll dissipate and wont return again for hours; You wont risk that, so while your attention is on the movement inside the cell, your eyes are glued to the pages in front of you.

Excitement fizzes in you like fireflies. Dead, swarming, dimly lit fireflies; But fireflies none the less. Zooming and flittering around in your chest- aching for you to look up and risk it all. Just to get a glimpse of him, which you've never done before. Although you've 'met', many times before now... you have never actually seen your ghostly companions face.

You assume that its grizzly, and perfect in its disgusting, gory messiness, of course. And you do ache, to your very core, to look him straight in the eye... but you're also terrified of him leaving. Of him leaving you to the rest of these other, B-Level ghosts. Spirits that don't make you feel nearly as heightened, as he does. He's like a drug, like cocaine, and these other ghosts... are but morphine. Not enough. Not, nearly, enough.

But... still. You cross your ankles, swinging them back and forth underneath you in badly kept excitement. Surely, a glance... wouldn't ruin everything...

You can see him too-vaguely, as you strain your head to continue facing your lap but your eyes to be pushing their limits, upwards. He - this figure, made entirely of the dust that in its absence has left the rest of his cell perfectly clean, and like new, - is sat on his old bed, legs spread like he owns the damn place, with his gun set over his thighs; Sitting in companionable silence with you. Even so, you feel his coat brush against your hanging legs as if he's standing closely, in front of you.

For minutes, you fight with yourself over whether to look up... what could happen if you did... when finally, his voice sounds around the cell block. Err, the laundry room.

"Y/N... sweetheart... " His voice is nothing but a pained whisper at this point, but still- you can hear the subtle huskiness to it that must have been its totality at some point and the deep, old-fashioned southern accent that leaks into every word he makes, and must squeeze your thighs together. "C'mere."

That one contraction causes you eyes to widen, and your fireflies to freeze. The darkness, the fear in your heart at his very presence builds and you finally look up, and over at him.

He's moved back, into the darkness of his cell so you cant quite see him... but that doesn't disappoint you. Not when he's asked you closer.

Hopping off the table and leaving your book behind, not caring that you've lost your page, you walk deftly over to the bars of the cell and press yourself gently to them, wrapping your hands around two. "Caleb?"

"You look... " In the darkness you see his outline, and watch his head tilt to the side. You feel fingers run through your hair and graze your neck, and shiver. You know this is dangerous, you're well aware. "Mighty nice today... "

You grin broadly, unable to help it. Most compliments you get are nice, but they never quite hit the spot... you never quite believe them... but Caleb's- oh, Caleb's. His are everything. They light up everything in you for days. "Thank you... and how're you today?"

He pauses for a moment, thinking about it, before you hear the sound of fabric rustling from his direction. "Unsure actually sweetheart...

That's up to you."

You tilt your head to the side. "How so?" How can I make it good for you?

"I wanna... try something... Think I'm... strong enough, now... "

This time you aren't able to say anything, before he speaks again. "Close your eyes."

You're all too willing to do as he commands, eyes shutting closed quickly, tightly so you see nothing.

A few moments later, and your anticipation, and anxiety, is building up in your chest like the pyramids thousands of years ago, to unimaginable, and terrifying, heights... when you feel the texture of his cold non-tangible fingers graze over your cheek again. You feel his whole body, in fact, behind the bars. Close to you. Not just his fingers, and not just his coat. His whole, fricken, body.

To your utter surprise, you feel those hands - rough, and freezing cold, and more like air from a fan then actual, physical body parts. But pleasantly enough, not at all like dust, either, - on your neck; His thumbs on your jaw. They tilt your head back, forcing your face to look upwards, almost towards the ceiling. It would be uncomfortable, if you weren't nearly shaking with excitement.

A moment later, he's dragging your face slowly closer to the bars, till the cold metal bites at your cheeks, and lips - cold and not-totally-real, like the hands, - press ever so gently... against yours.

A gasp slips out of you, as this is all you've wanted for a while, and you immediately kiss back, aching for nothing but to pull his body flush against yours and experiment with all the things maybe you could do with him, if he can kiss you like this. You cant help your thoughts spreading out to other things, as he slowly, deliciously deepens the kiss- an icy, slimy tongue sliding over the tip of yours.

If he can kiss you, surely he can touch in other places, cant he? He can let his fingers stray from your face, and towards your chest? Or lower?

What about his cock? How would that feel; Cold, and hard, within your walls?

And on top of that, regarding just his kissing skills, if he can do this much, turn you to mush with just his kiss, then there's no doubt in your hopeless, dumb, horny little mind that he could totally wreck you in a bed.

When he lets go of the back of your neck with one hand though, and wraps it ever-so-softly around your throat- feeling your pulse beat-beat-beat... you forget everything. Your mind goes empty.

In fact you go so totally dumb that you snap your eyes open-

But before you can see him, he's gone.

The cell is covered in dust again, and you cant feel him kissing you anymore; You're left pressing against the bars of the cell he wasted away inside in life, missing him already.

Duke || A Vampire ||

The feeling of having blood literally sucked out through little pierces in your skin, never gets less weird. The pain of having your wrist bitten into, does. The ticklish feeling of having Duke's lips attached to your wrist for a prolonged amount of time, does. But the weird, slightly nauseating feeling of having him siphon and guzzle your life force out of your veins, will never ever get old- unfortunately.

Still, every once in a while - which is becoming every week with all of Dukes nagging, honestly, - , you'll sit down and flick through Tumblr, letting him sit next to you, hold your arm in his hands and carefully drink- not too much, he knows when to stop. But just enough to sate him.

Then, like now, he'll slip his fangs outs from your skin and veins - coming out perfectly clean and white like they never touched anything but apples and bananas, -, a smug, pleased smirk on his lips as he cleans up his mess. And while you're wrapping up your own wrist, he sweeps off to get you juice and a plate of cookies- like when you donate blood for hospitals.

"Well you did donate." He teases, holding your juice and your cookies for you while you stick down your bandages, rubbing your thumb over the sore spot. "For a really good cause, too. Huh? Keeping your, uh," Duke glances at you, mischief pulling the corners of his lips up. "Snuggle bunny, going?"

Rolling your eyes, you yank the plate of cookies from his hands as he chuckles and take a chomp out of one. "Ugh, Duke... I was sleep talking! Let it go!"

He just giggles, fixing his collar with one hand and continuing to hold your juice for you as you quietly chew on your cookies.

As you do so, Duke turns his head to watch you. There's nothing extraordinary about the way you eat, nothing particularly sexy or gross, but as a vampire - an old one, at that. One that certainly doesn't remember the taste of normal food like a newer one might, vaguely, - one of the things he does enjoy watching his human mate do, is eat. Its adorable. So delicate, so human. Especially if one day, hopefully someday soon, they'll allow him to turn them.

Speaking of... His eyes narrow as a cheeky grin spreads his lips. "So, love... " You take the juice from him, giving him a suspicious look. Yes? He shifts closer to you on the couch now that his hands aren't occupied, and your sceptical expression - because you know him, - deepens. "Have you put anymore thought into my proposition?... "

Immediately you make a 'Pfft' sound and snort, bringing the glass up to your lips. "Ah, yeah. No need. We are never, ever doing that in the bedroom."

Dukes expression immediately falls, and you laugh at his scowl/pout, before taking a sip of your juice with a smile. Oh, he's an idiot. But he's also very cute. "Well- while I think you're making a huge mistake on that front, love, and this is not over- I wasn't talking about that proposition." Looking back at him at that, you watch his eyebrows raise meaningfully up his forehead..., and realise.

"... Oh."

He nods. Then his eyes flicker down to your hand, laying on your lap by the now empty cookie plate, and picks it up. Then gives you an uncharacteristically gentle smile. "I'd, really, like to do it." He presses the brim of his hat to your forehead affectionately. "To experience eternity with you, has been my dream since- "

An easy grin slides across your lips and you chuckle, nudging the brim of his hat back. "Lemme guess... the night I suggested you mix chocolate syrup with your 'Bloody Mary' drinks?"

He snorts, squeezing your arm gently, and lacing his fingers through yours. "Well, with ideas like that, how could I resist you?" Then he presses forward, taking the juice from your hands and setting it on the coffee table, before crawling over you, hovering over your body. "But I was thinking of a different night... " He raises your chin up so you're looking at him, and your brain wants you to push his annoying, horny ass off you and off the couch too, but the part of you that really likes him wants you to kiss him- so you just end up looking perturbed.

"Duke... " You whine, relaxing into the couch. "If I become a vampire... if I say yes... what's going to happen with my other relationships?" Your eyes flicker from everything but him, to his eyes finally, where he sees how reluctant you are, and sigh. "I don't want to lose them."

Duke shrugs. "But you'd have me, forever. They're all gonna die, anyway."

You promptly push his insensitive ass off of you, to the floor, and step over him as you head towards the kitchen- picking up your drink on the way. You're going to put tequila, in this-

Before you can get through the kitchen door, its slammed closed in front of you and Duke's cornered you against it. "... Okay maybe that was rude. Still working on my manners, Y/N, my bad. But I am working on them, huh? I get points for that!"

"Points?" You ask, crossing your arms and rolling your eyes over your shoulder to him.

Dubious and dumb, Duke raises a brow. "What's improvement without a point system?"

"Ugh- " You try to open the door again, but Duke uses his strength against you this time- turning you around and swiftly pinning you to the door.

His eyes catch the glass, still halfway full, and despite your disagreement, taps the bottom. "Drink that juice." He tells you firmly. "You lost quite a bit of blood, and I don't need you collapsing at any point."

After a stubborn moment, you sigh and do as he said, gulping down the juice at a steady pace as to not shock your system. Its also a good excuse not to think about the conversation you're having.

Because... its just... the hardest decision, you've ever had to make. The hardest decision you may ever have to make. It depends on hope so's (Will Duke stay in love with me? Will I stay in love with him? Will I like being a vampire? I hope so.), and faith, and not having faith in what if scenarios, too (What if I never see my family again, what if we come upon a hunter, what if Duke gets staked and I'm still there forever?), even if they're just as dependable as hope so's. And on one hand, staying human means you get to stay with your family, and your friends. You may not get Duke as well, but... he's just a guy, right? You can meet someone else... you cant replace your family, quite so easily. Right? You would be hard pressed replacing them, but guys... come and go... right?

But on the other hand, you're in love with Duke. You've never felt this way before, you cant even take it sometimes how irreversibly, unexplainably in love with him you are including everything obnoxious about him. You know you'll never find another Duke. You tell yourself you can, and you might have to so you will... but under the surface you know he's the love of your life. He's it. And there's no replacing him.

Ugh. Thinking about this does your head in... Your gaze lifts up from the window over his shoulder, to his face, and you knit your brows together. In frustration and apology. You know he's been patient... and you do feel bad for that... but this is also a huge decision, and you're not going to make it out of want to make him happy. "I don't know yet... I'm sorry... "

For a moment, he doesn't react... but then he sighs, and collects you up against him in a hug. "Take your time, love... we have a long time, to go... " He squeezes you tight, and you relax under his affections, totally. "But there is a cut off date, so, just try to make your decision before you die okay?"

You chuckle. "Yeah, I'll keep that in mind."

Hades || The King of the Underworld ||

Rolling your eyes, you kneel over the campfire and sprinkle the seasoning on the roast instead of kicking those two 2 foot tall dwarf's to Tim Buk Tu like you really want to do. Alas- making your dinner delicious and refraining from taking it off the hot fire, and throwing it at Pain and Panic, will have to do.

And this is your reaction from just noticing them hiding in a bush nearby. They haven't done anything yet, but you just know. You know, that when they turn up, it has something to do with Hades. Usually, that he's not far behind. And you're so damn e x h a u s t e d, by turning him down. Over, and over, you have to do this. Tell him no, you wont marry him, thank you for stopping by now go home. Thanks...

And after the last time he did this, you really aren't in the mood to humour him this time. You get a prickly feeling all over, just thinking about looking at him, after what he did.

A week ago, you had just finished getting ready for a date, and the one who was taking you out was surely close by, and you were giddy. Excited, to for once, not be working, or fending off the Lord of the Dead, or falling down drop dead exhausted in bed every night. Tonight, you were going to have a good time, for once. You were so, so excited.

But, then Isa was late. And a few minutes... turned into an hour... and that turned into two... and by that time you had totally given up. The ass had stood you up!

You were so looking forward to this, and that bastard left you all alone at home, looking hot, waiting for absolutely fricken nobody. What a dick. How could you have been fooled, into thinking they were worth your time? Your rare quiet night, at that?

"Gods!" You cursed, throwing your shawl down on the kitchen table and wiping a hand up through your hair. "I should've known. I feel like such an idiot!"

Then their was a knock at your front door, and you snatched up your shawl and raced off to get it. Maybe they had an accident???

You swung the door open, and

immediately, deflated.

"Hades... its you."

An amused grin graces his features as his gaze licks up and down your form. You're all ready for a date, and you look gorgeous. "Well don't sound quite so ecstatic about it babe, I might forget you don't actually like me- or so you say."

"I don't. And especially now, I'm having a terrible night. Thanks for stopping by, no I don't wanna marry you, no, no, no, did I cover all the bases? Great, so please go home-" You attempt to close the door on him, but smoke shoots out from the mysterious whatever's-under-his tunic and shoves itself, solid, between the frame and the door. A deep groan escapes you as you roll your eyes, opening it again. "Drat." You hiss, letting go of the door and leaning against the frame instead, crossing your arms. "Look Mr Lord of the Dead, I have had a bad night- "

A smirk creeps across his lips, mischief gleaming in his eyes. Or was it worse? Yes, you think. Its a lot worse then mischief. Still, you don't let up your cold, blasé front, nervous - afraid? - of his reaction to anything else. How might he use your discomfort? "Oh yeah, you got left all high and dry t'night, huh? Yep... Shame."

There's something about the way he's talking... that just sets you at total unease. How did he know? You lift carefully, slowly, cautiously off the doorframe, confused. "Um... yes... he did. How did you know?" Your eyebrows shoot up your forehead. "Stalking me?"

"Oh, of course. How else am I supposed to get to know you? You sure as hell wont sit down for a dinner with me, you've made that clear." He runs his bottom lip thoughtfully through his teeth. "At least- without a little sweetener, eh? And I am a great deal sweetener- if I do say so myself. So!" You watch him turn around, clapping his hands together firmly- a call; A signal.

And sure enough, a moment later, the bumbling fools Pain and Panic came tottering out of the woods beside my house, whipping a poor, squealing pig ahead of them.

Your brows furrow at it- something really not quite right at all, about any of this.

You watch the pig for a few moments, unable to figure out why it makes you feel... something; You aren't quite sure what... until a sharp blue finger touches the underside of your chin, and guides your head up to look at the face of Hades, instead. Another evil smirk presses his smug face. "That's what happens to little fuckers that try to touch what will be, mine." At that, your eyes widen and snap back to the pig. Is that... Hades grabs your jaw now, dragging your attention back to him, this time uncaringly. "Remember that, sweetheart. Its up to you how many poor sods I turn into swine."

"Hades- " You gasp, horrified.

"I'm a God, Y/N." The fire sparking as head flickers orange, well-hidden fury showing itself for just a moment- enough to terrify you. "We're notoriously bad at taking rejection."

"You gotten over your little human melodrama yet, Y/N?" Hades voice rings out through the clearing in front of your house, and you feel your skin prickle all over; Knowing he's here again. After that awful thing he did, last time. "I had to do that, showed you who's boss I guess. But I'm sick of staying away from you... " He appear across the fire from you, but you refuse to look up at his face. "So... what? You want an apology?"

Wincing, you wrap your arms around your knees and press your nose into your dress. "No."

"Whadaya want from me?"

"I want you to go away," You mutter, still not looking at at him; Rather into the flames flickering up under and over your dinner.

"Well, that's not gonna happen." Through your peripheral vision, you see Hades disappear from across the fire, and a yelp come out of you when suddenly he yanks you up by the arm, straight to your feet. Then he gathers your waist in one hand and presses you to him, leering down at you. You don't fight it, just deftly lean away; Afraid of how he might react to anything more. "So what'll it be? An apology? A present? A kiss maybe?"

He leans in, but you jerk your head back.

"What makes you so sure you can win my affections with pain, and bravado, Hades?" You finally snap, eyes flickering up to his pupils, which stare back at you in that familiarly amused way he always does when you get the courage to stand back up to him. "Making people I like into pigs, making me hurt... and then smiling about it? Thinking you'll just get away with it? That wont make me like you, you bastard. That's not sexy."

"Oh sweetheart, you're sexy enough for the both of us... " He grins, tracing your lips with a thumb. Marvelling at you even as you're mad, even as you're telling him such cold, hard facts.

Knitting your brows together, you tighten your lips into a confused scowl. "Do you even want me to like you?"

"Oh I want you to love me, Y/N... " For a moment, you see genuine in his eyes... before he turns it off again. And yet you believe him. "I promise you, one day I'll make you. One day you'll be death's partner, in sickness and in health. Just, you, wait." With those last three words, he boops your nose.

For a few moments... you just stare at him. How, in his deluded mind, does he think that's going to happen if first of all, he isn't forcing you, luckily enough, and second of all, he refuses to even try. Try, to be a genuine person. Try, to make you enjoy his company.

Its amazing how entitled Gods can be.

"... Maybe you're right. Maybe I will marry you one day,...

but first you'll have to make me like you- and that wont be such easy a feat. Not even for a God."

Inkubus || A Incubi Demon ||

Walking down the street late at night will always set you a little bit uneasy no matter how many times and how often you do it. Around any and every corner could be a monster waiting for an easy kill, a simple little victim to grab and run with.

But that doesn't change the fact at all that its just something you have to do, as long as you don't have a car and refuse to spend money every night on an Uber ride. So you collect your wits and take out your headphones as you hop off the bus, holding your keys between your fingers like wolverine claws like a back alley street fighter; And a cheater, at that.

Hey, you're brave, for sure- but you're not stupid.

You must keep your ears open, your eyes focused, and your senses as heightened as possible. And if someone's going to jump out at you, you couldn't care less if being prepared with sharp tools at the ready is not exactly sporting. If someone is going to try and hurt you, then they're about to get the rudest slap-in-the-face of an awakening of their goddamn lives.

Also, though... the quietness, can be peaceful. So while your senses are open to any hint of a threat, the rest of you... enjoys it. The quietness, the stillness, the all-together aloneness, despite the constant, faint feeling that someone is near. In a world where everyone is connected, its a really valuable feeling; Of being on your own. With no one watching, or listening, or even thinking about you.

You just get the moment, to be... To be. Just, to exist.

So happily you walk down the street, slipping into the darkness of your neighbourhood and enjoying the peaceful, slightly terrifying time.

Until you run into something your senses didn't pick up on even the slightest bit- you didn't even see him, which is weird seeing as he turned up right in front of you. "Oh!"

You have a mind blank and don't even think of the keys between your knuckles or the idea that this is a threat. Especially not when you look up, and see his face.

Every almost-suspicion and near-scepticism disappears from your mind.

"Oh hello, I'm sorry. I should have been watching where I was going." He steadies you, before taking his hands away from you. For a split second, you find yourself wishing he hadn't.

"That's okay!" For a moment, you get caught up in the mans eyes, before managing to break yourself free, and step back from him. Awkward... Your eyes purposefully turn downcast, avoiding his gaze that had so oddly swallowed you up a moment ago. "Um, anyway, enjoy the rest of your night!" Slipping past him, you continue on your way down the path towards your house, when you hear a gentle whooshing noise behind you, and turn your head to find the man walking casually beside you, like its not a red flag at all. Surprised, your eyes widen.

"Sorry to seem a bit of a creep- "

"Oh no, you're fine!!" Why, on earth, are you so eager to assure him?

His lips curl up in a pleased grin, his handsome - yet... somehow, oddly disconcerting, - features lifting pleasantly in the dark, and all you think is... that's why. Shadows leave shade all over his face and it is a bit frightening but its like your body has a mind, and ideas, of its own. Your footsteps are slowing down, your heartbeat's relaxing to a calmer velocity then even before this strange man turned up, a gentle heat is rising up your neck.

"That's good to hear, I wouldn't want to scare you. You know, an odd man following you late at night... some people mind find that a tad bit threatening, you know?"

A spark of nervousness, the first since you've been with him, lights up inside your chest. "Well... y-you're not wrong... "

Just as quickly as it ignited though, your anxiety is stripped away with just a kind smile, from him. "But don't worry- I bare no ill will." Your eyebrows lift up at that.

"And I'm... just supposed to take you at your word?"

Exactly, you think. Finally, your body is catching up with your mind! Isn't this precisely what you were just scared about, getting off the bus at this late hour? That a terrifying stranger would turn up??

Well now one has- so why aren't you doing anything? Why aren't you slipping away? Why aren't you running?

God, you want to... But... you cant. Even as the words leave your lips, you feel your feet be leaden to where he wants you to be- beside him, and only slowly walking. Easy to guide, easy to control.

His grin turns mischievous as you watch, a speckle of darkness flickering beyond poisonous green eyes. "Of course not. You're a clever little mortal." Your brows knit together now, confused. Mortal? The green hues flash to yours again and one side of his mouth quirks up a tiny bit higher; Revealing wisdom and wickedness beyond his appearance. "Then again, mortals have always been intelligent. Its how we've survived for thousands of years, right?" He gives a well-humoured wink.

... Yet... you find, that the way this man said 'we've'... just didn't sound right. Like the word was heavy on his tongue. Like a lie.

Still- you don't find yourself feeling the urge to raise your fist, at all. You're almost... hypnotised. You witch every movement he makes, take note of every calculation. From the way his coat whispers in the dark wind to where his hands are.

"I... guess... Um, what's your name?"

His eyes narrow but a corner of his mouth curls up in another mischievous - devilish? Demonic? - smirk that sends your head rushing. "Hmm... lets go with... Klaus, for now... And oh, you're free to tell me a fake one as well if you'd like. Its a tad reckless to give away your real information, like names and telephone numbers, in a situation like this, isn't it?" You cant argue with that- "But, whilst acknowledging that, I still cant help myself sweetheart," Sweetheart- your heart plummets down to your feet and your eyes widen; You can't help but love the sound of that. "I'd really like to get to know you a little bit. Would you please allow me the honour, please?" Oh my goodness- he just looks so pleading at you! Its adorable. How could you possibly, say no?

Every word that comes from him solidifies the hold he has on you already, too, that he so easily took in the first place with just his presence. Arousal and intrigue sinking into you like fangs by the second.

You cant help smiling; And saying yes.

The predatory look that takes over his face now causes a pit in your belly- but it only excites you. Suddenly he puts a hand on you- just the crook of your arm, stopping you in your tracks immediately, like you knew in your very workings that that is what he wanted from you right at that moment. "Is this your house, dear?"

... Oh, um- You shake yourself of whatever trance you're stuck in just long enough to look over at the house your passing, in wonder. How did you even get here... God, you just feel so disorientated... "Uhuh... "

"Wonderful; Now, I consider myself a gentleman dear so I shan't invite myself inside- especially not even having a name for such a pretty face. But... " 'Klaus' shrugs a bit, a perky little knowing look on his face- because he knows, what you're about to offer him.

"Of course, you can come inside!" You smile. "And- " Don't give your real name, don't do it. Pick any other name. Please- "I'm Y/N." The words slip out easily, like there was absolutely nothing inside you begging you not to.

And, just like that, there isn't.

Seedeater || A Wild Beast ||

"- Oh I should tell you about that summer. Ah, Y/N darling you would have just loved to be there, trust me! Once I've told you all about it, you'll wish you were, I promise you. So! Let me set the scene... "

This man has been jabbering on to you about who-knows-what for far... too... long... God, you're afraid to pull out your pocket watch, for fear of discovering you are nowhere near the acceptable moment to excuse yourself.

Because for sure you are not about to engage in any more courtship with this insufferable peacock of a man but also- you would rather die right here then go home early and have your parents nag at you over insulting the Duke' right hand man like that.

Even as... you long... so so very deeply... for your bed...

Oh, perish the thought. To be in your warm, cosy bed. Wearing nothing but your nightgown, with the fireplace roaring nearby and a book open on the pillow in front of you... perhaps nibbling at pilfered muffins from the kitchen.

You're just relaxing into your fantasy world - whilst managing to make yourself seem interested in your... eugh... 'suitors' story, with well-placed hums and 'Oh please tell me more's. - when suddenly the slow hum that his droning voice had become to you rather then actual vocabulary, just... stops. Your eyes flicker to his form on the log next to you, to see him perked up. Alert. Like a meerkat.

"What happened, Nigel?"

"Shhhh!"

Hmm... well, you certainly aren't crazy about that... Brows furrowing deeply and lips creasing into a severe frown, you straighten your back more so and take a deep breath with which to give him an earful, when-

You hear it, this time. What's concerned your date so.

Its a rustle just outside of the clearing the of you are set up in, and its definitely not just the wind. Or a bird.

Its slow, and heavy. A twig snaps as if under some huge, terrifying, calloused foot.

Immediately your freeze, gazing around slowly, cautiously for whatever is out there. You like to think its a beast, rather then a man. A man would be far, far worse. You've always thought so. A beast could hurt you, for sure. Scratch you to death or eat you alive... but a man, a man could take you. Steal you away, and sell you for drug money. Or humiliate you... Yes, you've always thought; To be ripped apart by canine teeth, would be better.

But then again, a beast is not ideal either.

You want to live!- and that has never been quite so blatant then right now as your heart hammers in your chest and you feel your cheeks grow cold as ice, despite the raging campfire before you. You want to life, in order to get past this terrible date and go on better ones. Or far better yet- never go on a date again.

Even so, though, when Nigel slowly picks up his shotgun, raising up to his feet and carrying it with purpose- you feel the most impassioned, ardent repulsion towards it and total, striking fear bang in your chest. He's going to kill it??!

I mean... if its a man, go right ahead, but if its not-

"Nigel." You hiss, making the man jump and look down at you in a mix of horror and anger. It reads clearly to shut up, but you aren't concerned with Nigel's needs. "Put that bac- "

A horrible screeching sound fills the campsite and you immediately slap your fingers over your ears, pressing into them firmly to keep the sound out and squeezing your eyes shut. Oh, that's terrible-

Then a beast emerges from the tree line, growling and blowing steam out of its bar-boned nostrils. Your eyes crack open to see Nigel lining up his gun with the monster's head, which surely wouldn't work in the first place as it seems to have some kind of helmet made out of bones. Or maybe that's just its head. either way your eyes widen to the size of saucers, and leap to your feet; your hands on Nigel's gun before you even realise the danger of your actions. "Let go!" He snaps, but you refuse.

"You will not kill this creature!"

"I most certainly will!- " His finger presses down accidentally on the trigger, and immediately a loud BOOM sound crashes from the gun, making you gasp. "Look what you made me do, woman!!"

The creature suddenly rears back on its hind legs, frightened by the noise, before slamming back down like a horse and rushes forward- all gangly, uneven movements as he's too heavy to really move as fast he's going but doesn't care at all. It brushes by you and all you can do is hold your breath and grip the gun like your life depends on it, so you don't run and startle the beast even more. Embedded in its fluffy hide are sticky substances - tree sap, supposedly, - and leaves, and little sticks, and a lot of dirt.

It tears through the camp site, crazed, and when its done - now huffing and puffing and still furious, standing at the side, - the little tent that Nigel had set up and cooking equipment is all ripped to pieces. Destroyed. Your heart's beating a million miles a moment inside your chest, hoping you aren't about to look like that, too.

After a few silent moments, apart from the monster's hard breathing, you turn from the creature to Nigel. Both your hands are still on the gun. "... Nigel... " You breath out in a whisper that is only as loud as a breeze. His eyes flicker up to yours, terror gleaming in them; And he's breathing pretty hard, too. "You need to let... go... of the gun... now... "

"No... Y/N... I have a plan,... don't worry... "

Ugh! You think. Even scared out of his wits, he thinks he knows better then me. If only he would just stop-

Suddenly, all far too suddenly, he wrenches the gun out of your hands and turns its aim upon the beast again. Your face goes slack at the too sudden, too jerky, too cocky motion and look from him- to the gun- to the beast and its glowing red eyes, staring down the barrel.

No!

"Now stay still, monster... this wont hurt but a moment... "

And in that second before Nigel presses the trigger again- you see all your futures before it even happens. The beast will tear you both apart with the bullet submerged in its skin. You will not survive, this way. And neither will it.

Just as Nigel is pulling his finger against the shotgun's trigger, you lunge for him. Pushing the barrel of the gun upwards, instead. Another terrible, crashing BOOM sound bangs against your eardrums as the bullet ricochets out and into the air. As you're wondering, horrified where it's going to come down, the beats roar accompanies the thumping sound of your heart in your ears and your head whips around just in time to see it gallop forward-

Its powerful jaws wrap around Nigel's entire face, and they both go crashing down to the ground as Nigel is ripped from you.

You can do nothing but watch, as in a matter of seconds it seems Nigel stops screaming in hat blood curdling way you do when you're being gnawed at alive... and goes limp. As soon as he does, the beast backs up off of him, a gentle and calmer woof coming out of it as it... just... sits back.

It sets its behind down the ground, and using a long... bear-like, tongue, licks at its paws. Cleaning itself.

Calmly.

Blood is still rushing hotly in your ears as you shake like leaf, between this beast and your date's mauled body and turn slowly to look at the hideous, petrifying monster.

Its eyes are no longer red, so they're but shadows hidden inside the bone coverage that is his head, and for all intensive purposes, the beast looks... relaxed. Like you aren't there at all. But you feel its gaze on you, even so. And your skin tingles creepily at the feeling.

After a few more minutes of just standing there, being scared - and maybe going a little bit insane, - you open your mouth slightly. Jerkily, slowly... and whisper. "I- I'm sorry... th-that Nigel... he... t-tried, to kill you... "

Another growly woof is your answer, its response to hearing a foreign noise. Your voice.

But it isn't a threatening noise at all, so you relax a little bit.

Then, suddenly, the dog... bear... monster, creature, gets up again. Its shakes off its behind of some of the dirt there from the floor, and creps closer to you. Its so huge... you have to crane your neck to look at its face.

Or, more specifically, its teeth.

You hear a sort of... fluttery sound, over your beating heart and look around curiously. There are no birds, or anything else that would normally make a noise like that, that you can see... The clearing is still, and empty.

Then your eyes catch sight of something, dark, fluffy and long flying up and down against the ground, behind the creature. When realisation occurs to you that the thing is its tail, and its wagging, you cant help the tiny smile that slips across your face. Gaze slipping back up to the creature, deciding it has no ill intent in the moment, you decide to try something.

Reaching over with one hand, you tentatively slip it through its main. There's so much black fur there that you're unsure that it even feels your touch at all - and there is certainly no reaction as it just looks around the clearing, keeping watch, - and your hand disappears entirely in the surprisingly wonderfully soft fur.

Smile widening, you enjoy the feeling with one hand for a while, before getting adventurous. Your take your pointer finger, and lean up to carefully stroke the bone of its face-

And as soon as you start, the creature startles you by moving- but you don't pull back far before you realise what is actually happening. It isn't readying to attack, its preening. It stretches its neck up, shaking itself slightly, before lowering its head for you. As if to ask; Please, again.

The smile comes back full force, and you do as it so politely asked; Stroking down its smooth snout over and over again. You can feel its warm breath on your arm and various bits of the forest stuck in its fur but you don't care. You just enjoy the feeling- its actually like a big dog rather then a monster!

"Aw... you're a good one, aren't you? ... I'm so sorry we frightened you earlier... "

Ursula || A Sea Witch ||

"Yes, yes... " Ursula rolls her eyes, sighing out her words in an irritated way; Getting tired of going through the deal, over and over again. But you cant stop wording it slightly different- as if it will ever get better, for you. Because its quite simple. "I'll save your precious baby brother, let him live on happy and healthy and all that rubbish for another 30 to 40 years... and you get to come down and stay with me, eternally. Happy?"

"... yes." You force the word out from between your lips as soon as you've worked yourself up to agreeing, not allowing yourself to back down again. As you suspected, the moment that word makes it into the open air, materialising into steam from the cold air as you kneel by the murky, foggy morning waters and the monster waiting for you in their depths- you regret it. You want to take it back... but you forced the word out for a reason.

For him.

And you refuse to even try to take it back, because the one thing you desire in life is to keep him safe... and this is the only way you can do that.

Tears well up in your eyes, as a wet hand curls around your own outstretched one, long red nails scraping into your skin as you shake. Bright eyes with pitch black pupils and wicked intent not-at-all hidden away gleam back at you, as thickly painted lips pull back on either side in a pearly, sinister, grin. Like a switch, your heart suddenly plummets down to your feet, and the cavern of your chest feels as cold as the unforgiving waters, below.

"Its a deal, then, doll~ " The sea witches voice is rough, that black heart of hers and ill intent bleeding out unapologetically through in her tone, and you know you've made a terrible mistake for yourself.

But the right decision, for him.

And as Ursula's hand slips out from yours and she disappears back under the water, the gentle waives slipping over her violent tinted skin until she's gone, your eyes slip closed; You must remind yourself, of that fact. He will be safe now. That's all that matters. It has to be.

Because you know, that she'll be back soon enough- and you'll be hers, for good. Just as she wanted it to be.

These are your last few moments of freedom, before she comes back with a disgusting tonic or filthy ointment or horrible scent, or something, that'll make you like her,... tied to the sea rather then the shore... and you use them to think about him.

Taking a deep breath, you think; You'll be okay now.

Take care of yourself, because I cant anymore. Create a good life, for yourself.

Don't miss me too much, please.

The fear striking sound of waives lapping harder against the rock you're perched on alerts you that she's back, and when you open your eyes she is indeed there; An expectant look on her face, and a closed clam shell in her hand. "Well? Come on in, darling... I promise I'll hold your hand, if it gets too rough."

"Y-you want me to come in... to the water?? Now??" Before you've changed? Before you have a tail, and gills? Surely it'll be freezing- you're cold just looking at that water.

"Well I wouldn't want you convulsing too hard when you transform and hitting your pretty little head on the rocks! Trust me, honey."

Trust her...

The concept repulses you, but what other choice do you have anymore? Taking a deep breath, you dip your legs in first- before shuffling off the shire for the last time and dipping silently into the frigid sea.

Your eyes are squeezed tightly closed as your head disappears under the waives, and the only feelings you know are the freezing fucking cold and, and thick tentacles wrapping gently around you. Holding you still.

Under water.

"Now, now~ Don't panic, that'll just make this worse for you." You're starting to run out of air - you've never been good at holding your breath, - , and as Ursula's thumb brushes over your lips you struggle, like an impulse, away from her. You try to wrestle out of her hold- reach the air, again. To breath- Air- God, fuck- Need to-

But her grip just tightens around you, her new play thing, constricting like a boa constrictor until you cant fight anymore. "I said don't panic, lovely...

now open that lovely mouth, now."

587 notes · View notes

kojinnie · 3 years

Text

Why you should NOT date AOT boys...

Headcanon on what kind of headache you're bound for when dating the AOT boys, and why I advise you NOT to date them! Enjoy, loves!

levi - eren - armin - reiner

part two here | erwin - zeke - jean - connie

— LEVI

He's an incredible man with a lot of talents and he'd be doing real good at his job, that dating him would give you a huge sense of pride. However, this man suffers from being emotionally constipated. He'd always keep you in the fine line of "are we or are we not?", even though you’ve been seeing each other for a long time. He’d never say “I love you” or any type of flashy display of affection. His love language is acts of service and quality time, so if you’re the type to wanting outward reassurance of how someone feels about you, Levi’s not gonna be the person to give you that.

This problem stems from his deep, unresolved insecurity about the nature of relationship. It’s not just the “Am I good enough?”, he genuinely thinks that he is not a good person, and thus the inherent belief that everybody will abandon him in the end — something he picks up from his traumatic childhood. He’s wary about establishing relationship because he’s afraid to succumb into his own feelings and vulnerability. He fears at certain point he has to feel and suffer the emotional consequence of being left by someone he cares for. He dreads the idea of getting caught off-guard with being fragile.

You gotta be extremely patient and understanding when it comes to Levi, the reassurance needs to come from you, and frequently too. Bluntly saying, “I’ll stick around” or “I’ll accept your shortcoming” is really soothing for Levi, because although he never shows it, he really thinks he does not deserve you.

— EREN

If you wanna be frustrated in a relationship where you constantly feel like you’re in an endless coaster, then dating Eren gotta be your poison. Sure the honeymoon phase was intoxicating, sure he makes you feel like the prettiest girl in the world. The morning text, the playful neck peck out in the public, the butterflies you feel in your tummy when you catch him staring at you even from afar with those oh so enthralling green eyes. But once the honeymoon phase over, Eren is quick to get bored. Especially if you’re an unproblematic, matter-of-fact type of person. Eren likes to fight, he gets thrilled by it, and he’s high with the rush of adrenaline. He likes it if you’re jealous, if you sulk, if you argue. He likes you to be ‘childish’ because then he gets to be the adult, the savior, the knight in shining armor. It grinds his gears. If you’re unfazed by his antics, if you’re easy to forgive, if you’re chill, Eren will think that you’re not really into him, and will exit the closest door out before his ego gets bruised even further.

Eren is sort of babied by people around him – his parents, his friends, and constantly being compared to his older brother doesn’t help either. He realizes that he got saved a lot of times by a lot of people. And this creates a deeply rooted insecurity with him that turns into an incessant impostor syndrome. The constant thought of not being good enough and the idea that all the achievement he’s ever got was the result of someone else’s help really crush him. You can shower him with praises and reassurance, but he would completely dismiss it, because he thinks your compliments are not based on objective views and that he does not deserve it. He painfully seeks for approval from any authority figure that (he thinks) does not have any emotional connection with him. And it can be really hurtful when he constantly dismisses your sincere compliments while desperately chasing from others who don’t care about him.

— ARMIN

It’s really hard to hate Armin. He’s a really nice man through and through, but what is his strength can also be his deepest weakness. He’s too nice and unsure about a lot of things. He knows he is knowledgeable, but he often doubts himself for being too ‘text-book smart’. Which is a valid cause, because at times he would get very oblivious to how relationship works, and treat feelings like it’s a quantifiable system. It will literally take years for him to finally get down and say how he feels about you, because all these times he was so busy filling the check-list in his mind to convince himself whether you truly like him or not, even though you couldn’t be any clearer with your intention towards him.

He is perceptive with what you think and how you feel, unfortunately this does not materialize into any action as he doubts his own intuition when it comes to his significant other. He fears that his own sentimentality has affected his intuitive judgment and thus deems it invalid, which is completely untrue because every hunch he has about you has always been accurate! That’s just how much he understands and knows you from years of quietly observing and taking each of your word into account.

He really relies on you sitting him down and telling him in details how you feel and the things you expect from him. He will do it, in a flash with no hesitation, but really, he just needs that verbal affirmation that he is doing the things that you want, and it’s not just based on his assumption. So, if you like sweet surprises, impulsive dates and expect your significant other to read your mind, Armin might not be the person.

— REINER

Oh my, truthfully, he is such a sweetheart, and can be completely smitten for the entirety of his life if he has found that one person. However, it’s a treacherous road for both Reiner and you to get to that stage. Initially, when you start to get closer to him, he may seem rigid and uninterested. The first date you had with him probably went awkward and although you really liked him, you were pretty sure he didn’t like you back, until he texted you the morning after, asking for a second date. That’s basically how being with Reiner is, a series of you being sure that he feels nothing towards you, only for his following action to prove the otherwise. He is really awful in displaying his emotion, he tries to be stoic all the time, and it often frustrates you because you cannot really tell how he feels, and you fear that you might have hurt him without realizing.

He may start to open up, only when you open up first about yourself. He thrives in romance with someone who he thinks shares his inner pain, and that’s very important for him, because he is always in a position where everyone expects him to be strong, and to have a significant other that understands his struggle is all he wants. But this gets hard for you, because sometimes Reiner’s sadness can be quite extreme and you cannot match that. Once Reiner realizes that you’re not on the same boat, he may become withdrawn, as he thinks he’s a burden and inadequate for you, and may end up self-sabotaging the whole relationship he has with you.

Although he does not like to admit it, but Reiner often slips into his sadness too deep, that it almost seems like he victimizes himself with his self-hatred. He will be the one to say stupid shit like, “You deserve someone better.” Or “I cannot make you happy.” When in fact you are perfectly willing to be with him all the way through.

With Reiner, you gotta be the bigger person, with bigger gestures and bigger patience. It’s because Reiner needs an anchor and a figure to lean on. In returns he would be the best lover that you will ever have for he is selfless and will be helplessly devoted to you.

Racking my brain writing for the rest of the boys (Erwin, Jean, Connie, Pocko) because they're the ones we SHOULD date.

Update: Thanks thanks thanks for everyone who read this! I received a lot of love and you dunno how much this encourages me to keep going. Anyway, 2 things:

- My Masterlist

- Talk to meeee ♡

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swallowerofdharma · 2 years

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the gentleness that comes, not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it.

Richard Siken

It has been quite a long time since I thought about writing down my thoughts about Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai, manga by Japanese author Yoneda Kou. I believe I'm not a skilled enough writer - English as a second language and such - and I am not very good at organizing ideas in a coherent way; I usually prefer having conversations, more than writing in isolation. Talking to people about this particular story irl can be hard though, especially if they lack time or don't share the same level of interest; even harder when that conversation is going to include sensitive or very personal topics or the subject matter is largely considered in a category adjacent to p****graphy. Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai is in fact a bl manga and includes every clichéd theme of the genre, yet at the same time is able to subvert most of them. Nevertheless, this manga can be easily approached by the casual reader without previous knowledge of the genre. On a superficial level you have what you could be expecting in a bl manga: you are quickly introduced to the two - very attractive - main characters that embody perfectly the uke and the seme roles; you have recurrent explicit sex scenes, although they don’t always happen between the two main characters; everybody can be gay on occasion, even if the story is set around the underworld of the yakuza; there is r*pe as backstory, and so on. Except nothing is gratuitous, but, rather, every element is there because characters and story call for it. The majority of the explicit scenes aren't arousing, but quite crude or even painful to watch/read, but, due to the nature of the story being told, showing them is meaningful and necessary to understand the protagonist and his excruciating journey. Sex, sexual trauma, declinations of one's sexuality are topics that can't seem to find an open place for people, especially women, to discuss - or develop stories to further elaborate on - without some kind of censorship or exploitation. But sometimes it can be managed, like in this case.

The main character, Yashiro, was subjected to r*pe by his stepfather for an extended period of time in his formative years. What happened to him is called for what it is, it isn't romanticized or treated in a too light or insensitive way. We see very little about it, but it is there, it isn't either sensationalized or downplayed. As an adult Yashiro doesn't deny the gravity of r*pe when confronted with other victims, especially women, yet he tends to present his own experiences as a simple matter of fact, something that happened out of his control and consequently something he had to accept and live with. Yashiro's acceptance can be read as an example of minimization or underplay of his experience, as often victims do as a means of self protection; but can also be interpreted as a down-to-earth and pragmatic way to move forward that corresponds accurately to the crudeness of the real world. Yashiro showcases strength of character and a level of agency, dignity and poise - even in extreme situations - that are characteristics we don't see often associated with r*pe victims. As a consequence of his history, he has been dealing with hyper sexuality** since he entered puberty and his stepfather lost interest in him. The types of sexual encounters he seeks are rather specific, he looks for dominant and possibly violent male partners that won't develop any emotional attachment and he easily finds what he is looking for in members of smaller yakuza groups. That is how he became too deeply involved with the yakuza in the first place, an underworld where men are more likely to be too homophobic to mix rough sex with feelings; moreover, in this violent macho environment, sex with other men can become an act of power and aggression and not a completely unbelievable event. That is how Yoneda Kou managed to draw a more plausible scenario around the cliché in bl manga where "everyone is gay or bi", subverting usually unrealistic pretences and delivering a story that has better credibility than most. Yashiro is presented as a pretty boy and later a beautiful man, willing to play the submissive role and calling himself a masochist, appealing to a variety of individuals. In the brief moments in which we witness these encounters, we see a Yashiro very much in control of the situation, loud, verbal and empowered. These acts are presented in a neutral way that doesn’t play into the voyeuristic element of p****graphy and leaves the reader free to form their own interpretation. We can't ignore Yashiro's own point of view, though, that he is the one in control of what happens to him in those circumstances, even when his preferences and his behaviors take roots in trauma, as learned coping mechanisms born out violence, or when there is a compulsive nature behind his sexual needs.

to be read from right to left

What is important, the story shows how there really isn't a "correct" way of dealing with r*pe. The experiences and coping mechanisms of another character - Doumeki's younger sister Aoi - are completely different from Yashiro's. One experience doesn't invalidate the other. This choice showcases reality much better: r*pe victims aren't presented with any solutions set, but often need to figure out their own way in circumstances that are often very unsympathetic. Avoiding triggering situations could be seen as a smart choice, but what happens when avoidance doesn't work? After experiencing trauma, there are a number of things that could potentially set off alarms and the amount of anxiety and outright fear could be overwhelming. Yashiro has been coping with his own anxieties by role playing or reenacting triggering situations to regain and exercise his agency and overcome fear, although his strategy isn't without risks: he puts himself in dangerous situations in which he could easily lose control again; moreover he still isn't able to face deeper feelings or any kind of emotional attachment when engaging in sexual encounters. Here another common element in bl stories has a different treatment: the emotional unavailability of Yashiro originates in such complexities and tragedy one can't expect it could be easily overcome. It isn't just a case of different expectations in boys’ upbringing or a difficulty in accepting homosexuality, but rather completely abnormal childhood circumstances that continue to have profound consequences and aren’t downplayed. Only touched upon and never really discussed is also the abandonment from Yashiro's mother part, but it's there. And it is a testament of how attentive Yoneda Kou is towards the story that she isn’t rushing or forcing the romantic element upon her characters, but rather she is giving an appropriate amount of time and space to observe them evolving, together with providing enough external problems that call for action with an intriguing plot around the criminal activities and the complex relationships inside yakuza families.

To the reader, the story has enough layers that can be openly read and interpreted. We can also choose to remove or add our own layers as long as we are respectful and sensitive about it and around what the characters represent. Yoneda Kou is treating the story with such care that calls for great appreciation and patience, given the fact that is still ongoing and developing at a slow pace.

** I use the word hyper sexual in a neutral and descriptive way, like we use the words heterosexual or bisexual. These are descriptions of sexual behaviors not descriptions of disorders or personality traits. Hyper sexuality in its literal sense describes an intense sexual drive and a tendency to seek sexual pleasure way more often than what it is manageable. Sex can be addictive because it involves pleasure and rewards. In Yashiro’s case, his mind and body learned pleasure in a way that was very warped, and his mind and body learned also fear, and distrust and many more things. Yashiro’s desire for sex shouldn’t be confused with his sadistic/masochistic tendencies that are another aspect of his sexual preferences. He learned sexual pleasure and pain at the same time and as equal or linked sensations. He got used to it with certain dynamics with his stepfather, yet he didn’t accept r*pe as a justifiable practice - as evidenced in the way he treats other victims - while he himself doesn’t identify as a victim. What is important to understand in Saezuru is that Yashiro’s behavior isn’t determined only by cause/effect dynamics.

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #saezuru #saezuru analysis #manga analysis #yashiro #eri reads saezuru

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thisisarcanereverie · 3 years

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Twilight Skies and Tea (Loki x Reader)

ULTIMATE MASTERLIST

Loki often felt like an outcast no matter where he went. In Asgard he was typically reserved and more mischievous compared to the rest of Asgard. Didn’t help that after years of thinking it was because he was his mother’s son, he finds out that wasn’t even the case. He had been taken from Jotunheim as a political pawn, as a relic until Odin had some use for him. Even on the Jotunheim he was out of place, his being raised in Asgard had left him with different habits and ways of thinking from his Jotun brothers and sisters.

Midgard... well Midgard was obvious.

Loki wouldn’t admit this but he barely remembered him invading, bits and pieces but the rest was a blur. Like he wasn’t in control, and that terrified him. He had underestimated the power of the mind stone and fell victim to it’s madness.

Despite him barely remembering, he carried the weight of the lives he had taken whether it be directly or indirectly. He knew Midgard would never forget what he did to New York.

As punishment for his crimes he was sent to Midgard by his brother and mother. Odin had wanted to let Loki rot in a cell, however Thor and their mother insisted that Loki should try to correct his wrongs by working with the Avengers in protecting the world.

Tony and the rest were hesitant about it at first, however Fury had forced their hand and in the end Tony was the first to agree that the more man power the better. Although it seemed the tin man had seen better days when he agreed.

They didn’t make it easier at first. Their hatred and judgement was nothing compared to that of Asgard but still, it hurt. However as months turned into years they had let up and eventually considered him a friend. Even Clint had come to consider Loki a friend eventually.

Even though his relationship with Thor had improved as well as his relationships with the rest of the Avengers, He still felt very out of place. He began to accept the fact that maybe he’ll always feel like that when you came into the picture.

You were the latest person to be added to the Avengers team. Loki immediately sensed great power coming from you alone, sure Wanda’s was overwhelming, but yours seemed to match his and that was nothing to scoff at.

Loki felt a connection with you that he had never felt before. Something akin to companionship but stronger.

Apparently you had felt it too because you naturally drifted to Loki. You were calm and tranquil most of the time. Both of you enjoying each other company in the library reading Mary Shelley and Charles Dickens respectfully, and it seemed as though you two were naturally nocturnal because you often shared freshly brewed pot of tea with the god at unseemly times of night to discuss recent reads and a few playful remarks here and there on the roof and watch as the sky turned.

It almost seemed like you two were on the same wavelength.

“You know that I don’t believe you were in control of the New York attack.” You blurt out randomly. You two were on the roof again, this time watching the twilight skies. That sentence took him aback for a second.

“Why?”

“I took a look at some of the footage that you were caught on and now that I’m looking at you I can see a clear difference.” You take a sip of the warm tea in your hands before continuing. “It seemed like the scepter was draining the life out of you, and your eyes were borderline bloodshot and glowing blue. I think the mind stone had taken over you and controlled you.”

Loki couldn’t help shaking slightly, he had never told anyone, not even Thor of not remembering what he had done. He had doubted anyone would believe him.

You seem to have noticed and placed a warm hand on top of his cold one.

After that you and him had made it a habit to drink tea and watch the twilight sky on the roof everyday. It was the closest thing to therapy you two ever had.

“I feel very out of place here sometimes,” You had just gotten back from a mission with the rest of the team, and immediately you came to the roof where Loki had found you waiting for him. He sat beside you and gave you an understanding nod.

“I feel like that too here.”

“Here’s the strange thing,” you said leaning your head to rest on his shoulder, “I don’t feel that out of place right now though. When it’s just us on the roof drinking tea.”

“Are you sure you’re not a mind reader?” he had asked playfully, you had laughed silently.

“I’m sure if I was I would have gone completely mad years ago.”

“What wrong with a bit of madness.”

“Absolutely nothing.”

You smiled at each other before turning your gaze back to the sky. You sat there until the stars and the moon had taken their place in the sky before you spoke again.

“I’ve done horrible things Lok,” you admitted silently. By now the tea was cold and discarded and now you two just laid on the roof watching the stars and admitting things in the comfort of darkness.

“I know,”

“Not completely,” you said. There was a weight in your words that Loki quickly recognized.

“I volunteered for HYDRA experiments, not out of wanting to change the world like Wanda or was forced like Bucky.” You paused taking a deep and shaky breath in and out, “I volunteered for revenge.”

You then told him what you didn’t tell the others. Your family was the most important thing to you, the sun had risen and set on them. However people did unforgivable things to them, things you weren’t ready to say and perhaps never will. You had lost the thing you held dear and you made a list. A list of the people who had ever hurt them and went to HYDRA. Told them you were a willing volunteer and that they need only pay you in bringing in the people on your list. One person for each success.

You discovered your control over fear that way, by using it repeatedly on those who harmed your family.

How the weight of what you had done still weighed on you.

Then Shield found you, gave you immunity for what you did before, so long as you put those powers towards good and joined the Avengers.

Loki understood loving your family, he wouldn’t admit it aloud but Thor was his brother and Frigga is mother. In all terms of the words, it didn’t matter if he hadn’t been theirs by blood, he considered them as such.

He would lose his mind if something were to happen to them that appalled even him.

Revenge was something he knew even better, he had felt it consume him as he picked up the scepter in it’s overwhelming rage and anguish.

He had intertwined your hands as you laid together.

“Rame.”

“what?”

“It’s an old word in your language,” he explains, “It’s an adjective for something that is both joyful and chaotic at the same time.” he felt your shaky laugh beside him. Loki turned to see one tear streaming from your eye and your laughing face. He couldn’t help thinking about how beautiful you had looked in that moment.

“I think that describes us perfectly.”

“I believe so darling.”

He was a goner since that day you came to the tower.

It just took him this long to figure that out.

---

After that you had somehow transitioned from that of tea and confessions in the safety of the twilight skies to that of library dates and stolen kisses where no one could see you.

Loki also started to use a lot of old but beautiful words when conversing with you.

The first night you spent together as lovers he described as Elysian. He had spent the rest of that night whispering that word to you.

However it wasn’t always idyllic between you two.

the God of Mischief and the woman who can literally manipulate the fear of others were bound to argue at some point.

Usually it was something as simple as the opinions of authors or of tea flavors and even then it was more along the lines of bickering that ended with a sweet kiss.

However, there were times where it was bickering.

You had come back from a mission with a bullet graze on your arm and bruised ribs. You weren’t paying attention when a bullet grazed your right arm and an HYDRA agent snuck up on you and kicked you at your side.

All things considered the injuries weren’t the worst thing you’ve experienced physically and Loki knew you could take care of yourself.

Didn’t stop him from immediately rushing to the Med Bay when he heard that you had to stop there for stitches and bandages.

“(Y/n),” he called your name as soon as he entered the Med Bay.

‘I’m in here” you responded. Almost as soon as you had finished responding he pulled back the curtain to reveal where the doctor was finishing bandaging your arm and prescribing medication for the pain.

She had nodded to you after getting the gist that the god wanted to talk to you alone.

“What the hell happened.” You could see the anger practically coming off his body, if it was any other circumstances you would’ve found it hot. However, you knew now wasn’t the time or the place.

“I got shot at-”

“No really I couldn’t tell.” He sassed, he often got like that when he was properly angry, You were the one who got shot at and you had yet to take the pain meds that the Doc prescribed so you weren’t in the mood to deal with it.

“I’m not in the mood Loki,”

“Not in the mood?!” he exclaimed, “You were shot at and taken down. If Steven hadn’t been there, there would’ve been a bullet in your head!”

“However he was and therefore I’m only merely grazed by the arm.”

“This isn’t something you can just brush away (Y/n)” He was seething. The mere thought of losing you was enough to almost bring him to his knees, and it was times like these where he knew that there will come a time where he will have to say goodbye to you. You were originally from Midgard, you were born mortal and therefore he will outlive you. When that day comes he has no idea how he would handle it.

“Lok,” You softly spoke, you knew he wasn’t angry at you. He was angry because the reality of the situation was hitting him again. How mortal you were. You gently raised your hand to cup his cheek and gently brush your thumb over the tears that leaked out. Loki had fallen to his knees in front of you.

There had to be a way, there had to be some way that he would never have to say goodbye to you.

---

Thor had dragged Loki to Guy’s Night. Usually Loki would be vehemently against this, instead preferring to spend the evenings with you in your shared room. However Loki didn’t put up much of a fight this time. Instead Thor had to do minimal dragging of his little brother.

Loki had only gone because he needed to talk to his brother about something in privacy. Something he couldn’t risk you or the others overhearing.

Thor had brought Loki and the other male Avengers to bar hop. Going to one bar after another, something that Darcy had taught Thor of when he first came to Midgard and Thor seemed to enjoy it.

As the group of men walked Loki quickly cast a glamour to make it seem as though Thor and Loki were talking of something small and light.

Thor quickly caught on after having learned now when his brother cast magic and turned to look at his brother. Ever since you had come back wounded from a mission he could sense something was off about his brother and it worried him deeply. Loki was never surrounded by fair maidens like Thor was back on Asgard, but there were a few who sought the comfort of Loki rather than Thor. His little brother was never interested in them however, you were the only exception.

“Brother,” Loki started, the guys still laughing ahead of them in a group, “what I say to you next must stay between us and only us for the time being. Lady Jane or Sif or any of the others must not know. Understood.” His tone was serious, no room for any of his regular mischief to sneak in.

“Brother I would never betray your trust.”

“I am in love with (Y/n).”

“Yes, this isn’t new news to me.” Thor said, although Loki never really said the word ‘love’ often he knew that in those rare moments either one of two things were to happen next. Either Loki will be sharing some heart wrenching and shocking news or Loki was about to stab someone. There was no in between.

“Brother I plan on doing the Bonding Ceremony with her.” The Bonding Ceremony was more serious than that of marriage. Forming a bond ensured that whether it be your life or his, your souls would be bonded together. When one of you dies the other does too.

Not many had heard of the Bonding since now it was typically frowned upon. Loki and Thor only knew it since Frigga was the one to teach them such things in case they ever found someone they couldn’t bear to lose.

Loki had.

Thor felt his footsteps stop. This would be the closest thing Loki could do to either grant (Y/n) immortality or to make himself mortal. This was the ultimate gamble.

“Are you sure brother?”

“I’ve never been more certain about anything in my entire life.” Loki firmly confirmed, “There will be no other love for me brother, she is it.”

Thor felt his heart swell in pride when he looked at his little brother. Loki’s eyes which were usually sharp and calculating were soft and full of a love that Thor only had a mere taste of. Thor didn’t doubt for a second that if something were to happen to Lady (Y/n), whatever force took her from him would surely pay the price.

Thor clapped a hand on his brother's shoulder, bringing him back to reality.

“Well then when do you plan on asking her?”

“Soon brother,” Loki said, “all good things come to those who wait.”

---

Your powers were useless against the titan in front of you. With all your might you had tried to use your powers on him to no avail. While you were panting on the ground, weak and exhausted, the purple dickhead barely broke a sweat fighting off your attacks.

His associates were easy enough to deal with, not nearly as immune to your powers as their leader. Most were crumpled in a ball sobbing or took their own life. Thanos almost seemed impressed with you, how you managed to take down a fair amount of his followers single handedly.

If only you weren’t so emotional. He would have taken you as another daughter.

You weren’t even meant to be there, Loki had tried to prevent you from coming with him and Thor on the search for their father. However, you weren’t much of a listener.

After Ragnorok, Loki realized he waited too long to give you the beautiful emerald ring he had always carried with him since that Boy’s Night almost a year ago. He had been so afraid of rejection that he hadn’t considered how much time was passing and how fleeting life was.

You both cried in each other's arms after you accepted.

Then this douchebag had to come and ruin everything.

“Wait!” Loki yelled as Thanos took one step closer to your exhausted figure. He took out the Tesseract that he had taken before Asgard was destroyed.

“If you spare her life and the rest of the people on this ship I will give you what you came here for.”

Your eyes widened as you looked at your fiance. His hair hid the majority of his face from your view, if it wasn’t in the way you would have seen the look of acceptance in his eyes.

It wasn’t until you were too late did you notice the knife in his other hand.

You wanted to scream at him, ‘you dumbass why would you try to pull a knife on this monster!’. You could only scream and try to physically fight the titan to let Loki out of his grasp and Thor was struggling against his restraints.

When you heard the sickening crack of Loki’s neck as his soul left him. You felt the last piece of your compassion and love die with him.

His body crumpled to the ground, unmoving and dead. Just dead.

When you lost your family you had been filled with the flames of white hot anger.

This time it was as though ice filled every part of your body, you were cold. There were no flames, just the icy feeling of loss. You could only stare at his body, nothing seemed to move. Not one muscle, no one took a breath.

Then it came.

The scream that was ripped out of you was inhuman and reverberated throughout the entire ship.

All the restraint you put on the darkness inside you broke as you crawled to his body. You crumpled over his body, holding on to whatever warmth he still had for dear life.

Meanwhile Thanos’s eyes had widened, the dark cloud that was leaking out of you had taken the entire ship. He barely could manage to see anything in it. The cloud seemed to capture any light and immediately darken it.

Then the feeling he knew all too well came to almost overtake him.

It was loss, pure unadulterated loss, and anger, and sadness.

Suddenly he found himself on Titan again, more specifically the day it all was destroyed. How no Titan citizen was safe from the wreckage. Not even his family. All of his darkest memories played before him and nearly drove him mad.

Thanos has never met a person quite like you. Not one so powerful.

He wondered why you hadn’t shown this strength before?

He wondered just how much you were holding back.

Without a second thought he put the space stone in the gauntlet and gathered his remaining followers and left.

He needed away from you before your darkness engulfed him completely.

---

You were still cold as you, Thor, Rocket, and Groot made your way to Nidavellir. You sat next to the blonde God of Thunder, who was in no better shape than you were in.

Apparently when the Guardians found you, Thor had been holding onto you, he was probably the only reason why you didn’t freeze to death in space next to Loki’s corpse.

Absentmindedly you fiddled with the emerald ring resting on your finger, it amazed you how it wasn’t lost in the middle of that havoc. You looked at it for a second, briefly it was a symbol of you and Loki’s love and commitment. Now it was just another cruel reminder of all you’ve ever loved and lost.

You barely remember Thanos attacking, you just remember crawling over to Loki’s body and holding onto him as tightly as you could. Trying to bring him back to life.

You felt Thor envelop you hand with his own and tightly hold onto it. You knew what that meant without needing to communicate with words.

Revenge.

Thor will avenge his brother and you will get revenge for your lover.

It was a promise.

---

“BRING US THANOS!” You and Thor screeched. You were in the smack in the middle of the battle in Wakanda. Already you saw faces you haven’t seen in years.

Steve now had a beard which was weird, but cool.

Your hands outreached and darkness sprung from them. The darkness enveloped at least the first 30 beasts in front of you, choking them the same way Thanos had choked Loki.

You and Thor had trained during your spare time on each of your powers.

Thor had truly become a force to be reckoned with, especially with his new axe.

You had further developed the powers you had once been terrified of. Learning to embrace the darkness and the fear of others, letting it fuel your powers further.

Even Hela would be terrified of you.

You followed Thor’s lead, you never being too far behind him taking out enemies left and right. You only strayed when you saw Wanda being cornered, after helping her you quickly located Thor and followed him. Not bothering to stay and chat.

The air seemed to chill as you felt Thanos’s energy.

Thanos just came to the party.

You and Thor made an immediate beeline to him.

Thanos was just about to snap his fingers when Thor threw his axe in his chest.

Thor drove the axe further into the purple dicks chest as you let loose almost every ounce of darkness in you to invade Thanos’s senses. disabling him from feeling everything but fear, anguish, torment, everything you had ever felt. All of your loss and darkest thoughts. How you imagined torturing him. Replaying pushing Gamora off the cliff again and again, watching in third person, never changing course. All the people he had ever loved, a pile of dead bodies all over the cliff.

“I told you,” Thor said as you allowed Thanos to see and hear your brother in law. “you’d die for that.”

Thanos mumbled, you were too focused on torturing him to see his hands start to move.

“You should have gone for the head.” You noticed all too late before his fingers snapped.

At first you felt nothing, until you slowly saw your fingertips begin to crumble into dust.

You welcomed death.

---

You thought you had died, however, you opened your eyes and saw a portal.

“Darkness,” You turned your head and saw a man with a red cape and a weird looking necklace around his neck.

“Only my enemies call me that.” You retort, your hands already beginning to move.

“I’m not your enemy,” he assured, “I’m Doctor Strange, you’ve been dead for 5 years and I came to you personally to ask for help.”

“Why?”

“Because without you Thanos will win again and the alternative timeline isn’t so cheerful and I would like to try to avoid that.”

“I meant why should I trust you.” You didn’t need much convincing, you would love to have a second chance at killing Thanos. You just needed to know you could trust this man.

“You should trust me because the Universe depends on it.” He arrogantly said before adding, “plus we both know the only other person who hates Thanos as much as you do is Wanda. In fact I’ll need both of you.”

---

Strange told you to follow T’Challa and he will lead you to where you and Wanda will defeat Thanos.

Sure enough there Thanos was, and Wanda landed right in beside you.

“Nice of you to drop in.”

“And let you have all the fun, never.” Wanda replied, her eyes glowed menacingly at Thanos.

“You took everything from me.” Wanda said.

“ And you will pay for what you did.” You followed.

“I don’t even know who you are.” Thanos said.

“You will.” You and her say at the same time.

Thanos had tried to no avail to stop your advances to him. Wanda’s red magic enveloped him as your darkness invaded his senses, showing him his future self that you had fought.

“Wanda!” you yelled, capturing the red heads attention briefly.

“Go for the head.”

Her smile was chilling as her magic changed from picking apart his armor to slowly ripping his head off his body.

Red magic gathered at his throat and ran through him as though he had been made of butter.

Thanos’s head rolled on the soot covered ground, his eyes lifeless but his scared expression forever etched onto his features.

---

After their leaders demise his armies ceased and it was fairly easy taking care of them after that.

After the battle you reunited with Thor, time had clearly not been kind to your brother in law. He was bigger now, and his hair was longer and he reeked of alcohol and B.O.

You spent the next few weeks taking care of him and catching up on what you’ve missed during the past five years, although you didn’t really want to.

While for you the past five years seemed to pass by like a good night’s sleep, for everyone it dragged on.

Thor had been living in his guilt and grief for five years while for you it was still fresh.

Part of you wished you hadn’t returned, the only joyful part of coming back was ending Thanos with your own hands.

You went to New Asgard with Thor, you didn’t really care about staying behind after the battle. Tony did the same thing, he went back home to his family with Peter.

You looked out to the sea of green grass before you, a blanket under you, a cup of fresh tea in one hand and another tea right beside you.

You instinctively made two teas, one for you and one for the ghost of your Loki. It was a hard habit to break. Twilight engulfed the sky as a Mary Shelley book laid face down on the blanket next to Loki’s tea.

You could almost feel him next to you, and if you closed your eyes you swear you could hear him move next to you.

“Hey Thor.” You greeted without looking. He often came to check on you around this time of day.

“Lady (Y/n),” He greeted as he sat next to you opposite where Loki’s tea was.

“I suppose you heard about my departure tomorrow.”

You had, You heard he named Val King of Asgard and was planning on leaving with the Guardians tomorrow to travel across space. You were sad to see him go but happy that he was finally moving on.

You nodded.

‘You could come with us.”

His offer was tempting, an adventure across space would’ve sounded like a dream come true to you.

“No matter where I go I’ll still think of him,” you said before turning your gaze to the blonde god. “For you it may have been years ago, but I still feel his absence as intensely as a knife in the heart. I don’t mean to disregard your mourning for your brother, but it’s still a fresh and bleeding wound.”

You twirled the emerald ring on your finger, a habit you did when you thought of him. It was the only physical thing you had left to remind yourself of him beside a few pictures you had taken.

There was a long pause before either of you spoke again.

“My brother was a complicated, mischievous man. Always scheming, he kept people at arm's length.” Thor said, “I don’t think he felt like a belonged anywhere, until he met you.”

Your heart broke.

“You brought out a man that I thought long dead in him. You gave me back my brother and our mother her son. Loki was going to Bond with you.”

You stared at him in confusion, Thanos’s attack had been so sudden that Loki didn’t fully explain what Bonding was.

“Our mother taught Loki and I most things. She once taught us about a wedding ritual that was ancient but typically frowned upon on Asgard. Your souls would become Bonded until one of you died.” Fresh tears rolled down your face as he continued. “It was the closest thing that Loki could do to either give you immortality or to make himself mortal. He couldn’t stand the thought of being without you, even for one day.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“Loki loved you more than he had ever loved anything,” Thor put his hand respectfully on your shoulder, “He would never want you to suffer one day with or without him. You and I are too much alike sister in law,” Tears littered his mismatched eyes. “We both lost all that we had ever loved, our family being the hardest loss among them. I don’t think they would want us to sit and let life pass us. Instead they would want us to live it to the fullest with little regret for them.”

Thor made sense, if the roles had been reversed you wouldn’t have wanted Loki to continue to live. To live as though he was living for you as well.

For the first time since he died you cried. Sobbing uncontrollably into Thor’s shoulder.

You missed Loki, and you knew you would never love anyone the way you had loved him. You know there will be a lifetime’s worth of restless nights and grieving ahead of you. But Thor had a point, you needed to drink the rest of that tea, look away from the twilight skies, and put away the book.

You needed to live.

If not for you then for him and your family.

---

After that Thor helped you pack and soon you were off on your own adventure.

Making sure to live everyday, with little to no regrets, the emerald ring safely secured on a chain around your neck.

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parkjiminiemouse · 3 years

Text

Eyes

I’m going to be 100% honest, this is pretty fucking dark. I’ve never written anything like this before but I kind of like it. Plus it’s October so I thought why not? Please please please read the warning and proceed with caution!

Warnings: Gore, explicit language, fem reader (not specifically mentioned by heavily implied), cheating, murder, attack, implied homophobia

Please let me know if I missed anything

Not edited.

———————————————————————————

If I had the time to tell you all the fucked up things I’ve done throughout my lifetime, you would think I was the devil himself. To be fair, the people whose life I did fuck up deserved it. Though, there was this one man who started it all.

I remember that very night, I was sitting on the steps and I had met a man that was around my age, had red hair, and a beautiful singing voice. His name was Choi Jongho I would soon come to find out. When I tell you I was stupid enough to not just fall in love with him but to dedicate my heart, mind, body, and soul to this very man, it was the worst yet best mistake I had ever made. Sometimes I thank Jongho, he made me into the person I am today, the very best me I could possibly be.

Anyways, he was just, amazing in every sense of the word. I distinctly remember laying in bed with him for the first time, our legs tangled as a small giggle escapes my plump lips. He had the softest brown eyes and they held millions of stars in them. His soft hands caressed my cheek, a hint of a smile on his face as he finally whispered the words I longed to hear, “I love you.”

When he said that, his fate had been sealed. I didn’t know it at the time nor did Jongho but those words would be the very reason why he was murdered, love. When people said love can make someone do crazy things I didn’t believe them one bit, they were making things up, right?

It was one of those quiet nights again, laying beside Jongho as he looked at me with starstruck eyes. My heart swelled in my chest, a soft blush appearing on my cheeks as he whispered sweet nothings into my ear. Opening my mouth to speak I was quickly interrupted by his phone ringing. A frown soon replaced the soft smile that was once placed upon my face as he sat up and answered it. The warmth of the moment fading as quickly as it came.

He left moments later and what was once blissful silence had now turned into bitter silence. He had been leaving very often lately and I had grown curious so naturally I followed after him. What I found was a sight that broke my heart but to this day, fuels my anger. The soft lips that once kissed mine were now meeting someone else’s, a male. A gasp escaped my lips which caught their attention, tears streamed down my face as I watched a look of terror fill both of their eyes. I was being used, I was being toyed with, I wasn’t about to allow myself to continue being the puppet, I wanted to pull the strings.

So that’s what I did, I had him wrapped around my finger, dangling the information I very much knew would ruin his whole career. Now, it’s widely accepted, soft of, but back then, back when we had first met, coming out wasn’t welcomed. Did I mention that I liked to record just about every moment in my life? No? Well I guess now would be a good time to mention that I got their little, dirty, make out session on camera. Oh and don’t forget the look of terror in his eyes. Every time I see the video it makes me laugh, that look, I love it, every second of it.

“Please…” small whimpers escaped his chapped lips as he begged me to delete the video. “Please please please! I’ll do anything!” He yelled as my fingers hovered over the post button. A devious smirk on my face, seeing him this way filled me with joy, but it also made me sick, I still wasn’t used to being so cruel especially to a man I still loved deeply. Turning the phone off I give him a quick peck on the lips before smiling. “Good boy.”

Ah, the night I remember vividly now has its time to shine in this little story of mine. I remember the night perfectly, it was pitch black only a street light illuminating the sidewalk only a few feet in front of me. I was walking towards my car, phone in hand, rewatching the video that had started it all. Reaching for my keys my mouth is swiftly covered as strong arms wrap around me. Struggling, I tried my best to escape from their grasp when I saw Jongho. A part of me felt an immense amount of dread fill my body. I had been blackmailing him for months, using him for my own pleasure, he wasn’t here to save me, he was here to ruin me. The person holding me back was none other than his little slut.

He spit in my face before he grabs my phone and smashes it on the ground. I continue to struggle but I feel a sharp pain overcome my body. Everything had happened so fast, I felt warm blood stream down my face as my vision turned pitch black. A scream escapes my lips as I’m let go, left on the ground, the sound of footsteps fading in the distance.

When I woke up I still couldn’t see. It took me a moment to realize what had happened, the reality had just sunk in. Reaching up to rub my eyes I find that there’s nothing there, just empty hallow holes where my eyes should be. A blood curling scream escapes my cracked, dry lips as I heard the door open.

“My eyes! My eyes! Where are they?!” I scream, trashing around as what I assumed were nurses attempt to hold me down.

“Calm down!” A man yells and while the yelling should’ve alarmed me it seemed to bring me comfort. Slowly I took deep breaths and started to calm down. “There’s nothing to worry about. You still have your eyes.” A wave of relief overcame my body as he placed a jar in my hands. My eyebrows furrow and he must’ve seen my expression before he adds, “they’re in your hands.”

So you see, I had a clear motive to kill Choi Jongho and that slut he replaced me with. To be honest, I shouldve savored their death more but it’s alright. To cut this long story short, (I know you’re probably feeling quite impatient) I carved his eyes out along with his precious lovers once I got my hands on them. His sweet sweet screams filled the soundproofed basement as I placed his eyes into my empty sockets. Now, I can’t exactly see but that’s because I don’t have the perfect fit yet. My next victim though, Kang Yeosang. His eyes are beautiful, I hope they’ll fit just right.

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olivinesea · 3 years

Note

Oooh fun! Okay, do you have any headcannons or thoughts on a dyslexic Hotch? I feel like I never see dyslexia with any characters really, and I like the idea of him with it. And if you do and you want to write something about it, a dyslexic Hotch with the team (and them being the supportive and protective family they are?) Thank you! ❤️

I hope you have fun, wherever/whatever you’re doing!!

I love this so much!! Thank you :) okay I don’t have much personal experience with dyslexia so hopefully I get this decently accurate. The biggest thing that surprised me when I was doing a quick search is that it isn’t actually a matter of reading words or letters backwards? It’s more an inability to connect letters to the appropriate sounds or to break words up into component parts; a general phonological awareness struggle.

So, as with many things, it seems to me to be a matter of slowing down, learning at your own pace. This ties in nicely with so many of my other Hotch thoughts, I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it before. Idk what this is, it’s neither headcanon nor proper story but hopefully it’s something like what you were looking for:

When he’s a kid he gets called a slow learner due to his undiagnosed dyslexia. It was much less common to get that kind of diagnosis back then in general and I am sure his dad would have hated the idea of his son needing any kind of extra help. So he’s slow to speak, slow to learn how to read, has difficulty with numbers, absolutely hates being called on to read out loud because it’s actual torture and the other kids have no hesitation about laughing at him. So he becomes withdrawn, labeled a “bad kid,” stops trying because, fuck it, he never gets any kind of support, who cares right? It’s always a fight at home, he starts hiding his work, lying about his grades. This works for awhile bc his parents are distracted by other things. His problems are much bigger than grades by the time they do notice.

However, while he hates school and the way people talk about him and his struggles, like he isn’t even there, he discovers that he doesn’t hate learning. There’s a small library in town where he found he could hide out, no one bothering him for hours if he just sat still for with a book open. He was good at sitting still, at being invisible. But eventually a librarian notices that he’s always got the same book open, some sort of technical manual, that he is rarely turning the pages. She asks him if he likes what he’s reading. He’s just alarmed to be spoken to, afraid that being noticed means he will soon no longer have this sanctuary. He nods and tries to bluff his way through but it’s obvious he hasn’t read it, despite having looked at it for weeks straight. The librarian doesn’t say anything outright, just lets him be for now.

Next time she sees him she brings him a different book, a collection of Grimms fairy tales. He wants to complain that it’s for little kids but is too nervous to refuse it. She asks if she can read him her favorite story from it. It’s dark and twisted and fantastical and he can’t help but be drawn in by it. He’s sad when she’s done reading, wants to hear it again, to capture all the details to replay to himself later. She shows him where it starts, encourages him to read it himself. He doesn’t look at her bc he doesn’t want her to see how upset he is by that, already frustrated by the anticipation that he won’t be able to get through it. But she stays with him, helping him where he gets stuck, asking him questions about the story, making sure it’s making sense to him.

They slowly work their way through the whole collection over the course of months. They spend days on each story, repeating it until he’s confident, she never makes him feel like he’s taking too long or wasting her time. Sometimes has to reread a section multiple times, gets hung up on the language rather than the story but it’s okay, she gives him a notebook to copy down parts that spin too loudly in his mind, saving them and also releasing him from their hold so he can move forward. She lets him keep the book, tells him it was too old to stay in circulation anyway, they had a new copy on order already. She’s the first person who was patient with him, that showed him he could do it, he just needed a little more time, a little more practice than other kids.

In college this is part of why he spends so much time at the library. Part of it is his natural inclination to overwork himself, push until he’s given more than he can in hopes that it might be almost enough. He knows he’s never been enough, why would that change just because he’s in a new place? But the other part is he simply needs more time to get through the coursework, to make it through the excessive amounts of reading he’s assigned. Some other students don’t even bother to read but he would never do that, he makes sure that he not only reads every chapter assigned but he reads it again, takes notes, highlights, annotates, does everything in his power to be prepared. Sure he might work himself to the point of exhaustion, to the point where he makes himself sick (though he’ll try to deny that too) but he’s never caught trying to read something while others wait for his answer, the letters and sounds meaningless, slipping away from him faster the more eyes he feels turn towards him, wondering what could be taking so long. No one ever gets the chance to laugh at him for being slow in college, he never allows them to see that side of him.

As an adult, the leader of the BAU, he’s too well respected for anyone to dare laugh at him but he still hates feeling unprepared. This ends up looking like long nights in the office, reviewing case files to the point of memorization, so that he won’t have to read any of it in front of his team. He can if he has to, he’s developed skills over the years, ways to calm the panic that only makes it harder, can fake it well enough that no one would really notice. Until one day, distracted by a migraine and the fallout of some fight with Haley, he gets stuck. He can’t remember something and he tries to read the sentence that has the information but the stupid word just won’t resolve into sounds that make sense and he just stops talking. He’s glaring at the form like it might catch fire. No one says anything for a moment while he tries to refocus, tries to work around echoes of laughter, decades long past but always ready to jump out at him if he lets his guard down, allows a mistake, a tired moment to derail the image of perfect competence that he’s built around himself. Penelope jumps in, finishing the thought, completing the list of traits shared by the victims. He forces himself to smile at her because he really is grateful, it wasn’t her fault. She scrunches her nose at him, dismissing his silent thanks with a toss of her head. It was nothing, everyone needs a little assist now and then.

No one brings it up and he doubles his efforts not to let anyone see. But he’s so tired on the plane coming back from a case, he’s been staring the same forms for an hour at least. He can feel his ears turning red with frustration. There’s really no reason he has to do this now but the fact that his mind is refusing, almost seems to be teasing him, makes him dig in harder. Emily sits down opposite him, pulling the folder away without asking. He’s about to say something sharp, something he’ll regret saying to her when he really means it for himself, but the expression on her face is so odd, smiling with a frown between her eyebrows. It isn’t pity, she respects him far too much, but there is curiosity and something else, something soft.

“Drink with me.” She slides him a glass and they don’t talk, just look out the window, look at the light playing off the ice in their glasses. He doesn’t see the file again until it appears on his desk, every form neatly filled out, the places needing his signature flagged. All but the last spot, where she’s signed his name eerily perfectly, difficult for even him to see that it’s not his own. Just so he knows she can if she wants to. Equal parts offer and threat.

Penelope and Reid start a book club. Derek joins right away. Emily rolls her eyes when she’s invited, muttering something about spending her free time on more work but they know she will join. Rossi flat out refuses to read the books but offers his house for meetings. Hotch hesitates, wanting to say yes but nervous to commit to an activity like that. He loves books, loves to talk about books. He doesn’t love a time limit on books.

The next time they have to drive to a case, Derek puts on a copy of the audiobook. It’s the first time they make it to a destination without any bickering from the backseat. They don’t get through the whole thing but later he finds a copy of the audiobook on his desk, complete with a disc player and headphones.

A different month, Reid tells him about how his mother always used to read him books and somehow finesses an offer to read to Hotch without him even realizing he’s accepted it. So Spencer comes in to Hotch’s office on lunch breaks occasionally and reads to him whatever the book of the month is. He loves it, remembering the first person who read to him, how shocked he’d been to be treated with patience, with understanding and wondering how he got so lucky to be surrounded by people like her, so ready to support him, wanting him there with them rather than off alone, uselessly fighting with himself to prove his self sufficiency over some uncooperative letters.

Okay, that was so much more than I was planning on but here we are. I hope you liked it and thank you SO much for the idea. If you ever have any others you want to share I am totally here for it. :)

Send me requests!

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itsdrippingred · 3 years

Text

I won’t say “I love you”..

Summary: Clint Barton’s take on the events post Endgame and the loss of Natasha. In this version Clint and Natasha were together and Clint’s family doesn’t exist.

Warnings: Death, loss, some language,

***********************************************

The first of the sun’s morning rise hadn’t even touched the tower, when it happened again. And he lost her all over again.

Her arm was starting to slip from his grasp. Slowly and steadily, yet she never once tried to save herself. Her small fingers, that were now growing cold due to his strong hold, had never once reached to wrap around his wrist. She wasn’t even trying, looking at her now he could tell her mind was made up. They both knew how this was going to end but he couldn’t bring himself to accept it. He wouldn’t, not if he didn’t have to. His grasp tightened around her wrist again, by now she had surely lost circulation in her fingertips. He’d be surprised if she could feel them at all. He knew he was hurting her with his harsh grasp on her tiny wrist. He was aware that he would undoubtedly leave bruises against her pale skin. They would turn a horrible dark purple if they were given half a chance. Yet from the look on her face he could tell that he only had mere moments left with her. “Tasha, no.” He protested softly as he tried to swallow his emotions. He reached for her again and this time her small pale fingers stretched to reach for his. The slightest bit of hope swelled his chest, he was close. He could almost reach her but the line she had used to save his life jolted as it gave to their weight. He watched as her emerald hues flashed with something even he couldn’t identify as she looked from him to the line. Time was up. “It’s okay.” She reassured, as her eyes glistened with awaiting tears she would never let fall. Even now he could tell she was protecting him, even in her last moments she tired to spare him the guilt. “I love you.” She whispered, her voice was so faint, distant, and then she was gone again. Her fingers brushed against his palm as she fell. And then she was gone.

Clint’s body twinged with the nightmare as every muscle in his body tensed and contorted moments before he awoke. A cold sweat drenched his flesh and the thin white sheet that covered his bed clung to his damp form. Even his sudden jolt upon awaking didn’t shake the thin fabric as Clint found himself upright in bed. “Natasha.” Her name came on the end of a gasp that made it sound like a ghostly whisper. His fists unclenched as his now bruised palm slid against the bed sheets while he searched the other side of the bed. Her side of the bed. Yet all the marksman found was a cold and empty space. His heart dropped and his mouth went dry with his finding, the realization of her loss crashed down on him all over again. His head fell to his shoulders as a hitching breath passed his lips. “Oh, Natasha.” He sighed softly to himself just to hear her name on his lips again before attempting to wipe the sleep from his eyes and pull his feet to the hardwood floor. It had been nearly three months since they won, three months since he saw her face, heard her voice, felt her flesh against his. And he had let her slip through his hands that day. Anger welled up within him as he tried to push the thoughts, the blame, and guilt out of his head. Instead he caught himself in a moment of pure rage and anger only to turn it on the glowing clock on the nightstand, making that into his victim. Within seconds the alarm clock was airborne moments before it made contact with the wall on the other side of the room before crashing to the ground and shattering. The sound wasn’t nearly as harsh as the one Clint had remembered hearing the day his heart had broke but it was close enough to bring him to his feet as he coolly watched the numbers on the digital form flutter out once and for all. Leaving the room in utter darkness with the exception of the little bit of moon light that peaked out from around the curtain’s edges. Yet even the soft light wouldn’t last in his presence as his hand slammed against the light switch next to the bed and brought light to the master bedroom. He imminently went to the closet, walking past Natasha’s belongings that he had yet to pack away, in order to find a t-shirt and a pair of jeans he’d dress himself in before grabbing his bow off the wall and heading straight for the front door. Only pausing at the door when he spotted her silver arrow necklace and wedding ring she had hung on the hook by the door. Right where she had left it the day she died. Clint squeezed his eyes closed as he pushed down the agonizing cry that was burning his lungs. His calloused hands gently caressed the smooth metal of the arrow and felt the soft texture of her wedding band between his fingers. A world he had once loved flooded back to him. He was standing in the middle of a Budapest tourist shop, looking down at that necklace for the first time once again. Natasha had been somewhere on the other side of the shop lost in her own thoughts. She had mumbled something about getting something for Maria before sundering off but even he knew it wouldn’t last long. So when he had seen the piece he was quick to pull whatever cash he had in his pocket and push it towards the lady in exchange for the necklace she retrieved for him. He could hear her soft footsteps behind him as he quickly dropped the dainty arrow into his shirt pocket. He didn’t even bother to question the fact that he was never offered change. Especially not when he had felt Natasha’s arm slowly wrap around his shoulder as her chin came to rest against his other. “Are you ready to go, Honey?” Her voice would chime in a way that made his heart flutter. If he stood still enough he could have sworn he could feel her arm around him again. His thumb brushed over the length of the arrow, though the memory was a happy one yet he found that his eyes had already filled with threatening tears. Newlyweds had only been there cover at the time but it hadn’t stopped him from taking full advantage of the situation. They truly did remember Budapest differently. She had been all business, but the only thing he had taken away from that mission was the sight of seeing her in a dress for the first time, the sound of her laugh, her real laugh, and the way his callused hands felt against hers, the smile that pulled against her lips when he placed the necklace around her neck for the first time. He had tried to memorize everything he could about her in those days. The day she took it off she had told him, it was only because she didn’t want to lose it some were in 2017. He had laughed at the time, but couldn’t blame her. Natasha wasn’t the sentimental type, but the few things she did love, she protected. Clint of all people understood this. Though the memories tore at his heart, Clint couldn’t pull himself away from the past. His fingers fiddled with the diamond engagement ring and then the stainless steel band that had belonged to her. He had proposed to her in probably the most unconventional way possible. The cool November night air had begun to nip at his exposed flesh as he waited for his partner to make it to the roof. He had invited her to the roof of Shield building not but hours before and was expecting her to show any moment. She didn’t keep him waiting long as he observed the fiery red head step out onto the roof. His heart pounded so hard as he raised his bow again and brought her into the crosshairs before firing his shot just left of her head. Cable arrow. She had hardly flinched as the arrow’s impact sent small chips of concrete flying. All Natasha did was cock a brow in his direction only to watch him slide down the wire. He felt like James Bond in that moment. He stuck his landing perfectly and rose to approach the love of his life, only to get down on one knee before her. She didn’t hesitate to answer him, “Yes! Yes, absolutely!” Natasha spoke excitedly as he placed the ring on her finger. She was pulling him in for a kiss the second he had gotten to his feet.

They had been married privately in Peru six months later. That particular job had been a shit show. Natasha had almost lost him two days after their little wedding. Her last words to him before he had nearly slipped away had been “I love you”. He wouldn’t see her for another two weeks, sometime during that time Natasha had decided that “I love you” sounded a little too much like “Goodbye” and it wouldn’t be something she’d say right before or in the midst of a mission anymore. It had bothered him at first but he quickly realized it had been her way of willing them both to make it to another day. Perhaps that’s why his nightmare had hit him so hard tonight. Anyone would wish to dream, to hear those three words one last time. But this had been different, Natasha hadn’t said it the day she died. Maybe she had, had hope? Faith? That somehow it would all work out.. Or maybe she knew all along and she was sparing him again. It was no secret that neither of them liked goodbyes. So maybe she was just saving him from the inevitable goodbye. The one that wouldn’t be heard until tonight. The spell seemed to break with a hitching breath that caught in the archer’s throat and the necklace was released. He turned and let his back hit the front door, before his body slid down the length of it. Cint’s arms crossed over his knees as silent tears streamed down his face. He would sit there for hours before he lifted his head again. “I won’t say; I love you.” He uttered to air. “ I won’t do it, Tasha.”

#clint/natasha #clintasha #natasha x clint #clint barton #Natasha Romanoff x Clint Barton #natasha romanoff #hawkeye #black widow #black widow x hawkeye #Blackhawk #marvel #marvel united #sad story #i love you #marvel endgame #endgame #avengers endgame #avangers #the avengers

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chayacat · 3 years

Text

Devil’s Sweet Star (29)

Fandom: Dead by Daylight

Ghostface x Female Reader

Rated M for Violence, Language and Smut

***

Having a good growing reputation in Roseville is a good thing. When you arrived here to open your café, you didn't expect to attract people in such a short time. And yet that's what happened. But who would have thought that one day you would be in the mayor's office? You pinch yourself mentally to wake up. Because honestly you don't believe it. Just as you still do not believe that Mayor Tallis came to your café, drank and eat in your café and is personally invited to come and see him in his office at the town hall a few days before. No, it's impossible.

And yet you are there. In the town hall. Waiting for the mayor to bring you in. According to his secretary, he had to make an important call before he received you. You didn't dare to believe it. And yet, it's coming. You don't know what he wants from you but one thing is certain; You are not likely to forget that day. You play nervously with your fingers, occasionally taking your phone to watch the time or go on social media. The more time passed, more the stress rose. After about ten minutes, the door of the mayor's office opened and the mayor came out, with a big smile on his face.

Marius Tallis has been caring for Roseville for 30 years. If at first there were few shops and inhabitants, he quickly changes things and made this dear little village more attractive. Despite his past sixties, He stood straight, his short gray hair, his thin face and his hazel eyes made him a man in full health and always as radiant with vitality. If only we could all be as fit at that age...

“Ah! Miss (y/n)! Please come in! Please excuse me for the delay but I had to make an important call and it lasted much longer than I had anticipated.” He said before letting you in, inviting you to take a seat.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Mayor, I understand perfectly. Being mayor involves a heavy responsibility and sometimes it’s better to take the time to discuss things and others than to rush.” you respond with a smile.

“This is even more the case when you have been running a small town for 30 years. I have seen and evolved Roseville, and today it’s as I dreamed of it. I don't want to make it a metropolis or anything else, but just a small town that is welcoming to everyone. You must surely be wondering why I invited you to meet me in my office.”

“I must admit that this is quite a... surprising situation. In general, we are the ones who ask to see you when there is a problem, and not the opposite.”

He pressed the intercom button and asked his secretary to bring two coffees. After a few minutes she arrived with the tray in hand that she placed on the mayor's desk. The latter thanked her warmly and asked her a couple of things before letting her go back to work quietly. He handed you a cup that you accept, thanking him, and then sat down at his desk, taking his cup in hand to drink a sip of coffee.

“Miss (y/n), if I asked you to come to my office... it’s because I have a proposal to make to you. Since you came here, and opened your business, I have only heard positive reviews and compliments about you. Know that you have gained a flourishing reputation in a short time and this is quite rare in your field.” He said before gets up and to go to an old photo of the city hanging on the wall. “Since I've been running Roseville... I organize every year its... birthday if I can put it like that. Every year I celebrate the efforts I have managed to make as well as those of the inhabitants, to make Roseville the city as we know it and see it today. It’s an event that all the inhabitants want and so do I. My request is simple: I would like you to be the one who will take care of this year's pastries. You will have the field free as to which pastries you want to add to it. It's like... a huge banquet to which you bring sweetness and sugar. I know that what I am asking of you is important and that an event of this magnitude is new to you. You don't have to answer me right away, the festival is only for in 2 weeks. But I would be very honoured if you would agree.”

“Well, Mr. Mayor, I... I am very honored that you offer me to participate fully in this event... it's true that it's brand new for me... but you are not afraid that... that the Ghostface manifests itself? I suspect that it will be done during the day but... it's going to last very late I guess, and we all know that Ghostface is a man of the night.” you ask worried. This is the kind of event that Ghostface could easily blend into the crowd to spot his next victim... or come and see you.

“Don't worry about this, Inspector Wilhelm and his men will take care of the security of the event. Because unfortunately because of this... Ghostface, we forget the young delinquents who take advantage of it to spoil everything and aggress people. As for Ghostface, I place all my trust in our police to arrest him. No criminal is perfect miss (y/n), sooner or later the rider will fall from his horse. And the fool will be locked up.” he replied with a sincere smile.

You nod, then the mayor escorts you to the entrance of the town hall, greeting you warmly. You, participate in the event of the city? While you have only been living there for a short time? It was unthinkable. And yet that's what's happening to you right now. But you have to think about it, that's why the mayor gives you time before giving an answer. The first thing you do is send a message to Jed. You have to warn someone of all this!

He replied that he was happy to hear the news, the Roseville Gazette would cover the event with other local newspapers. He does not assure that it will be him and his group who will take care of writing the article but he will come to see you. You can be sure of that. Jed is really adorable... even while working he finds a way to take time for you.

You go back to the café to discuss it with Amy and Corey. How will they react? they have just started their work that they find themselves with a great event on their shoulders. It would be a little selfish of you to impose that on them. We might as well discuss it with them. You will then decide.

“It's... it's serious??? The mayor himself asked you???” said Corey, shocked.

“I can't believe it... I don't know what to say... I am speechless!” said Amy.

“I haven't given an answer yet... but I know it's going to be a lot of work and...as you just started, I don't want to put you that much work and pressure right now.” you replied with a little smile.

“You're kidding! On the contrary, we are ready! You realize, the mayor in person asks that it’s us, or rather you who takes care of the pastries for the Roseville Festival of this year! It is an honour and an unexpected opportunity!” said Corey excited.

“Are you sure? It's going to be a lot of work! It's not a dozen people that we will serve but the whole city! or even more! We will have to redouble our efforts! understood?”

“Yes Madam!” said Amy and Corey at the same time.

You're still talking a little bit to see what you could prepare for the festival. There are so many pastries that you could prepare, plus you have no limits according to the mayor! what to choose? what to do? So much possibility! it must please everyone! you are going to propose several of them, but which ones is the question. You call the mayor to inform him that you accept his proposal. He was delighted to know that you will participate fully in the festival and informed you again that the event will be held in 2 weeks. This gives you plenty of time to prepare everything and think about what you are going to do. But the idea that Ghostface could be there, not knowing who he actually is scares you. And the worst thing is that it can really be anyone and he won't come and tell you it's him easily. He will pretend not to know you, will smile at you like a normal person.

Your whole body began to shiver thinking that you are going to talk to the one who has been harassing you since your arrival without even recognizing him. You, Amy and Corey give yourself an afternoon of rest. since you had an appointment with the mayor around 2pm, it’s not necessary to reopen for the afternoon. Fortunately, you had already informed the usual clientele via a sign that you would exceptionally close this afternoon. But at the income level, you have not lost your afternoon, given all the people you have had this morning, you can even tell yourself that you have made a profit.

You return home after performing your daily ritual at the shop, fear in your stomach. But you don't show it, you don't want to worry Jed... and you don't prefer to see him angry. Fortunately, this has never happened yet. The latter stood in front of your door, his angelic smile on his lips. But despite all your efforts, he noticed that something was wrong. He took you in his arms, hugging you while placing a kiss on your cheek and then on your lips.

“What's going on? Did you have a problem at work today?” he asks, passing his hand on your cheek.

“No, not at all on the contrary, we had a lot of people and we even made profits. I'm just a little tired that's all.” you simply answer.

“If there was a contest of the worst lie, you would win without problem. Tell me what’s wrong. Is it in relation to the mayor's proposal?”

“... Yes. I'm a little afraid that I'm not up to the task. You realize, I've only been here for a short time, he has more competent pastry chefs than me, and yet it is I who the mayor has chosen to participate in this year's festival. I have never participated in something so important, imagine that I miss everything? I'm going to pass for a fool in front of the whole city.” You replied. Of course, you’re lying, that's not what scares you, but you really don't want to worry Jed. Or make him angry.

“Hey, if the mayor asked you, it's for a good reason. Even though there are pastry chefs who have been here longer than you, it’s your pastries that people want to eat. And I'm one of them. So, you don't have to care about it, I know you're going to make it. And then you're not alone, you have your employees and... if need be, I would come and give you a helping hand.”

“Oh? would the great Jed Olsen be a fine pastry chef in addition to be a great journalist?” You replied with a laugh.

“Hey you took pie twice the last time we had dinner together. So, you can say that I am... a god?” he responds with an innocent look.

“Very funny mr. god of pastry, we will see it on the ground with REAL equipment. In the meantime, I'm going to go rest a little and think about what cakes I'm going to do. How about you?”

“Well for once I'm going to go and rest too. with everything that's going on right now... I need to be fit. I know, "Jed Olsen taking care of him for once, it's a miracle," but it happens to me from time to time to think about myself.”

“I hope so. Good night Jed... I love you.”

“I love you too. Good night...” he says, heading to his apartment before he stops. “Oh, I almost forgot! You remember when we thought... that we had to move in together? Well, the apartment on the top floor is free and... it’s the size of our apartments combined so... I thought maybe we could take it? I talked to Mr. Lawson about it and told him that I would see with you.”

“I'll think about it. Thank you, Jed.”

You go home, without seeing the sneaky smile that was looming on Jed's face. You don't know what you're getting into... oh no, you don't know. You put your things down before going to your room, take clean clothes, and then you head to the bathroom to take a good shower. After that, you land in your sofa, a pencil and a notebook in hand, a recipe book placed on the coffee table. For 2 hours, you try to see what you could do, the pages of the notebooks darkening as you write, scratch, erase. But nothing suits you. Absolutely nothing.

“I don't see why you're looking for inspiration in these ridiculous books. I think for once... you could improvise, do something that bears your signature.”

You jump off the couch, pointing the pencil like a weapon at Ghostface. He sneered and approached you, with this approach of his own. This nonchalance that he possesses says a lot about him... just like his gestures.

“Oh my god...how scared I am, honey. Are you really going to hurt me with this weapon of mass destruction? Is this pencil as sharp as my knife?” he said ironically.

“Shut your Mouth ! I'm tired of all the men in this city trying to charm me and take me for a weak ! Just like that damn server !” you said angry.

You put a hand on your mouth realizing what you have just said. You just said, in front of Ghostface, that someone seduces you. What did you do?

“ There’s someone in this city that will taste my blade, if I find him. Thank you very much my angel, thanks to you, I have just found one more victim.”

“Don’t you dare...”

“Or what? Are you going to report me to the police? For wanting to protect you, or even save you from a potential dangerous predator? remember : I fall, you fall too.” Ghostface said, gently touching your cheek with his gloved hand before taking your face into his hands.

“ You know, I've already lost someone because of a bastard who had nothing to f**k about life, I won't let it happen again. You can count on that. I'm already nice enough to let Jed take care of you while waiting for you to drop him for me.”

He released you before heading with an assured step towards the window. He looked at you, and even if you couldn't see his face, you could imagine the anger and madness that was looming over his face.

“I had planned to spend time with you tonight but... in itself you just gave me a job. I'll find him... and when I know who he is... he will bitterly regret it.”

He disappeared out the window before you could say or do anything. You sit heavily on your couch, taking your face in your hands. What have you done? You have just offered Ghostface a new victim! even if he is just an idiot who tries and who already regrets his actions, he deserves more than death.

You have just signed the death warrant of a man.

And the worst... It's that deep down of your heart, you want it.

***

(In three days, I will be 23 years old. Time passes too quickly I didn't even see the year pass! Enjoy your youth as much as you can because given everything that happens, we do not see the time passing at a crazy speed. Once again, I would like to thank you for following the little potato that I am! I hope you’ll like this chapter like the others ones! Well, it's time for my brain to rest! Have a great weekend to you all! See ya!)

#dbd fanfic #dbd #dead by daylight #ghostface #danny johnson #jed olsen

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biggirllifestyle · 3 years

Text

Ducks in the pond.

Summary: Being friends from the beginning does get its perks, but it's also such a heartbreaking scene when you’re a background character or so you think.

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x OFC(Original Female Character)

Word Count: 4k+

Warnings: Small cursing, this got away from me so sorry.

A/N: I found my next victim Chris Evan characters, I’ll do better I swear.

Being surrounded by the elite is not something many can say they have experienced especially if it’s something you have been doing since a very young age when you were not even part of that social group. My mother did not come from a wealthy background, she didn’t come to the country with any knowledge of the language and without a penny in her pocket but thanks to a faithful day where she had met Harlan, he had offered a helping hand for my mother and from there on she became his lived in housekeeper.

The first time I ever met Ransom I couldn’t say that I wasn't tempted to punch him in the face, we were children when we met and everything that came out of his mouth was rude and condescending. Ransom was older than I and I knew he was Harlan's favorite and least favorite grandson, he was a rude snotty kid who used to pull on Megs and I’s pigtails every time he could get away with it.

I didn't know when it started but at some point, Ransom began to follow me around never leaving my side, I think it began the day that I finally gave in to my urges and punched his perfectly handsome face. My mom was mortified when she found out what I had done, Ransom's mother Linda was pissed and had demanded her father to fire my mother as a repercussion for what I had done but instead, he laughed and I had to apologize begrudgingly to him and from then on I had my shadow. That was how it was for the next few years, him following me around until we became inseparable, we were still coming from polar opposite sides of the societal spectrum even if he never treated me any differently from his rich friends.

While he was out partying with his private school friends I was working part-time jobs and doing homework to pay off my tuition, Harlan had offered many times to pay off school as a thank you to my mother's service through the years but I never accepted feeling guilt at his kind offer. There were times when my friendship with Ransom was tested as his rich dick persona would come out and he would sometimes disrespect my lack of social standings when he would hang out with his friends, I always hated that side of ransom because I knew that the words that he said were partially true, we were from different backgrounds his way of living was different from mine where I was dressed from thrift stores and low-grade shopping centers he was dressed to Gucci and Balenciaga but that didn’t seem to matter to him.

The only times that any of those comments bothered me was when it came from Ransom's weekly conquest, they were all beautiful women who seemed to have walked out of a photoshoot they were all thin and beautiful women who just oozed money from their pores if they even had pores since all of them seemed to be flawless. I always wondered what it was that I did for Ransom to be so faithful to our friendship never once did I have to compete with others because, in the end, he would always choose me this was also another reason why his conquest didn’t last long since their cruel remarks on my appearance and social standing was an ending point on the relationship, maybe it was the fact that I was always the one who saved him from doing something stupid like getting kicked out of his family or him ending up killing his grandfather.

Things changed when Ransom left for college he had gotten accepted to Princeton and off he went, our communication was limited since he was always so busy with school and me with my part-time jobs. I had forgone going to college to stay close to my mother and in the process, Harlan had offered me a small position in his publishing company which his son Walt was not too happy about. Everything was going well for me. I was living an adequate life. I had finally moved out and gotten my apartment, my work was going great and I had finally made some great friends. Ransom seemed to be doing well as he was passing all of his classes, he even became friends with his dorm mate, which he was forced to have if he wanted Linda and Richard to keep paying his tuition.

Everything was going well for both of us. Our friendship was thriving through the long-distance even if I was hiding a deep dark secret from him, the fact that I have been in love with him for a long time now. This has been a raging issue that I had been hiding for such a long time but I never thought of doing anything about it since most of the time I was fine with being his best friend, I relied this to Claire my friend from work after I hanged up on Ransom on our call of the week.

“That is the saddest and dumbest thing that I have ever heard,” Claire said as she sipped on her wine, “and I am saying this with a lot of love but if you don’t feel like it would work between you two maybe you should try to give yourself a chance with someone else.” I turned back towards her as I took out the popcorn from the microwave, she made a shrugging gesture before turning on the tv.

“I am just saying Eric from accounting seems to be interested in going out with you, and hey I haven’t heard anything shifty about him from anybody else.” She browsed through a few movies before finally choosing one. I sat next to her setting down the bowl of popcorn in front of us as we settled down, “I’m just saying we big girls deserve some love so if that means you having to go on a date with a guy just so you could be able to get over your childhood friend, then so be it.”

I couldn’t help but think over what Claire said and I knew she wasn't wrong but a small part of me still wished that maybe Ransom felt just a little of that love that I felt for him but I knew it was probably a far cry, so I gave Claire a nod agreeing for her to set me up with Eric she squealed before reaching for her phone as she started texting someone after a few moments she put her phone down and mine began to go with off, it was Eric I gave a panicked look to Claire who just shrugged I sighed before answering.

“Hi, Eric how can I help you?” I said acting dumb, Claire swatted at my arm but I hit her back focusing on Eric who seemed to be having a conversation of his own.

“Yeah I heard from someone that you wanted to go out, and well I just wanted to know if the upcoming Friday was good for you I know this great Italian place that just opened up we could go after work if that works for you,” I was about to respond but I felt my phone going off again I pulled it away seeing Ransoms name on the screen, I debated on answering before ignoring it and returning with Eric.

“Friday sounds great”

After hanging up with Eric, Claire and I continued our movie before she had to start heading home as soon as she was gone I began to tidy up, after ignoring Ransom's call I thought about my friendship with a man who looked for the very best for his life. At some point, I had silenced my phone in the chance that if Eric were to send me a text I could just use the excuse of not answering, and that is how I had left it as I went to sleep since tomorrow started our winter break so there was nothing I had to worry about so with that thought I went to bed.

When morning came I finally had the chance to finally take a break and just lay in bed, everything was silent no noise whatsoever just the random drive of cars on the street and that was it after a while I finally got myself ready to get out of bed reaching for my phone I noticed that Ransom had called me nine more times leaving enough text messages that I worried that something might have happened. Dialing his phone as I began to get ready just in the chance if I had to rush out at any moment to meet him after the second ring he finally answered.

“Where have you been? I’ve been calling you all night do you know how worried I was,” Ransom said as he began to chastise me, I couldn’t believe he was doing this after we had talked before he started calling me liked a maniac I was about to tell him off and let him know that I didn’t think very highly of his little outburst before he stopped, “Now ducky this is what’s going to happen do you hear me your gonna finish getting ready, put your shoes on and come outside so we can go eat some breakfast do you hear me.”

I huffed out at him but did as he said as I finished getting ready, Ransom always did this ordered me around expecting me to follow his every whim without any form of repercussion from my part but I knew I would never really fight Ransom since all in all I was his only true friend. After finishing getting ready I rushed out of my apartment locking behind me before taking the stairs two at a time I soon as I got to the lobby I couldn’t help but take a small breath the small exertion from my actions after composing myself I walked out seeing Ransom's car, I couldn’t help the giddiness that came over me this would be the first time I would be seeing him after his no show for Thanksgiving so I was very excited to see him again as I got closer to his car ready to greet him excitedly I couldn’t help but notice that he wasn’t alone.

“Ducky it’s so good to see you I missed your pretty face,” Ransom said as he stepped forward to hug me but a hand stopped him from moving forward as I was left standing awkwardly from where I stepped forward to meet him, his companion stepped forward putting out a slender and manicured hand so I could shake.

“Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Caroline, Ransom's girlfriend, you must be the friend.” The way she said the word friend made me flush entirely it sounded so mocking when it came from her but I ignored it as I gave her a small smile. Ransom was watching our interaction before clapping his hands together, “Right so let's be on our way then.”

He walked over to the driver's side as he got in Caroline opened the passenger door and motioned me to get in first, I couldn’t help but look at her with a questioning look, Ransom seemed to have caught on to what she was trying to do as he motioned towards Caroline, “Caroline maybe you should ride in the back that way I can also have time to catch up with Ducky.”

Caroline huffed and crossed her arms like a child, the words that came out of her mouth made me feel so shameful I wanted the floor to swallow me whole, “I think she can fit in the back if we push the seats all the way forward I mean I wouldn’t mind moving it since I don't take up much space.” Ransom was about to protest against her but I moved forward pushing the seat forward as much as I could so I could squeeze myself through.

“It’s fine don’t worry about it, this might be the only opportunity I might have to feel as if I’m being abducted or something,” I joked as I positioned myself into the tight space of the back, Caroline seemed smug by her win as she got into the passenger seat Ransom turned to look at me as I avoided his gaze as I looked down at my phone he turned back around as he started the car, the drive to the restaurant was quite from Ransom and I’s point Caroline was going off about some friends of her who were currently on a break or something of that sorts.

When we arrived at the dinner I couldn’t help but feel a sense of calm, this was Ransom’s and I’s regular place we used to go to back when we were in high school, I used to work part-time here and sometimes he visited me as I sneaked him fries when I could. Ransom looked back at me with a soft smile I couldn’t help but to return until I heard a scoff Caroline seemed to not like our choice of location and she seemed to want to protest but Ransom ignored it and got out coming to her side as she opened the door for her, that seemed to placate her as she took his hand to get out. I huffed out a little breath as I began the agonizing task of getting out of the car without making too much ruckus where I would be noticed, when I finally got out I noticed that Ransom and Caroline were waiting for me I flushed hard realizing that they saw my struggle but I gave them a small smile before walking in front of them into the dinner.

Louise was at the counter and the moment she saw me she couldn’t help but let out a shout of excitement she called to Adam who was at the grill in the back as they both came forward to greet me, they saw Ransom and the excitement grew they’ve known us for a very long time so of course, they were glad to see him as well. Louise gave us a small shove as we went to our usual seat which was a booth at the back, when I was young I was scared to go anywhere near the booths but the good thing was that the seats here were spacious so there was nothing to worry about, Ransom scooted in but Coraline seemed to hesitate to look disgusted before sitting down at the corner.

“So how’s school? Are you having any problems with your classes, any subject you might be struggling with?” I asked as I moved around the salt and pepper shake, Ransom laughed as he beat an with a tirade of his Lit professor who loved to throw existential questions into the lesson as if that would help them finish their assignments on time, I couldn’t help but laugh at his whining as our server finally came to our table. There seemed to be a small tension coming from Ransom and Caroline but I chose to ignore it as I moved my attention to our server, he seemed to be about our age, and from what I could see he was new since I could sense his small hesitancy as he took our orders, I gave him a small smile as I tried to give him some reassurance of what he was doing.

“Don’t worry about it you’re doing a great job let me tell you when I used to work here back in the day it was hard, to say the least so no pressure and just take it one step at a time,” Tom as his name tag said relaxed as he gave me a cute and flirty smile that made me blush as I sent him a small shy smile as he walked into the kitchen to put our orders in when I turned back to Ransom he seemed to have a frown on his face at our interaction I made a funny face at him as he rolled his eyes before returning to his tirade. Caroline seemed too quiet so I ignored Ransom as I tried to make conversation with her,

“Are you also at Princeton Caroline?” She gave me a look before turning her nose at me.

“Yes I am in school at the moment but it's not like it matters I’m just doing it to pass the time while I inherit the family business,” she said as she moved around the straw in her drink, I gave her a confused look at her words because I couldn’t understand what she meant by “passing the time,” she must have seen my confusion before she gave a huff before continuing, “Daddy is paying for my tuition so I can go but I don't do anything besides hanging out with my friends or taking trips, there’s no point for me to be going to classes if there is no point to it since I’m just going to inherit my family’s estate and wealth.”

I looked at her with a mildly disturbing face at her words, how I wished I had the opportunity she had to go to college but that option was never one to be considered since it was much too expensive to pay off and I didn’t want to accumulate debt when I was trying to help out my mother with her immigration situation so I said nothing, Caroline seemed to have caught on to my reaction because she gave me a scathing look for even looking at her in that way.

Before anything further could be said Ransom butted in to alleviate the tension that had just arisen between Coraline and me, “So Ducky how’s work Uncle Walt said that he was giving you your team to manage Grandad’s new book, how's that going for you?” I gave him a small smile as I began to tell him about the work that we have been doing and how I’ve been getting along well with everyone except an older editor who keeps trying to override my directions every time I make them to the team. Ransom nodded along at that moment Tom came back with our orders setting them up on the table before turning to me with a small smile, “Do you need anything else, anything I could do for you?” I smiled at him as I was about to respond Ransom butted in,

“No, we’re good.” I looked at Ransom with a pissed look at the rude tone he had used on Tom, he didn’t seem to care as he glared him down until he walked away. I was confused by Ransom's attitude I’ve never seen him act this rudely to people without a motive so his change of character made me wonder what was going on with him and if it had to do with the woman who was sitting right across from me poking at her food uninterested to us.

“So you remember Claire?” I asked him as I ignored his previous way of being with our server, Ransom seemed to be focused on his food so he hummed as confirmation, “Well we were talking last night and she set me up with one of our colleagues, and well now I have a date next Friday!” I said excitedly, Ransom began to choke on his food and I panicked as I started pushing his drink closer to him, Caroline had left just a while ago to the restroom and still hadn’t been back, after he had calmed down Ransom looked at me very differently almost as if he was mad at me for what I had said.

“Are you serious do you even know this guy, how could you put yourself in that situation you haven’t dated anyone ever and you think that going out with this guy is your best option,” he stopped himself his hands balled up into a fist on the table, I couldn't help the tears that welled up this was new to me Ransom had never spoken to me like this before never in such a way as if to shame me not when I decided to go to not go to college and not when I told him about my accident from high school.

“Are you that desperate? if you were you could have just told me and I would have shown you a pretty good time.” The shame and mortification that came over me at his words were so great I let a tear slip from my face, Ransom seemed to realize that his words were far too harsh because he reached out to grab my hand I flinched away from him not wanting him to touch me at all, “I want you to take me home, right now Ransom.” He seemed to hesitate before he clenched his jaw before scooting out of the booth he set a few bills on the table and began to walk out I sat there for a few minutes before finally walking after him Louise gave me a wave and I saw Tom give me a smile and a wave until I was out the door.

Ransom was sitting inside the car already waiting for me to go in, I didn’t see Caroline anywhere and I almost went back inside to go get her before Ransom spoke up again, “She already left her friends came and picked her up half an hour ago.” I nodded before getting into the passenger seat, on the drive back to my apartment everything was quiet, only the hum of the car providing sound. After a while we were finally there Ransom parked but didn’t turn off the engine we sat there quietly for a bit before I finally turned to him, “I’ll see you at the Lagoon okay, I think you and I need some time apart to think about what happened,” I paused as I looked away.

“I love you, I’ve always loved you and I want you to give me the chance to grow from those feelings so I feel like this is the best option for me,” I stepped out stopping before looking down at Ransom who was still so stock still, I knew that my words were probably still processing to him but there was no turning back I finally said what I needed to say and I was ready for everything that was coming, “Patito, I need you to understand that no matter what I would choose you over everybody else.” And with that, I shut the door.

My date with Eric had occurred and it was the worst thing I have ever been on, believing that maybe this could be my chance to grow out of my love for Ransom I looked at the bright side but Eric was the worst he was rude and snobby and made comments about my appearance making it seem like I had to give him a thank you for even looking my way and I hated it. Ransom and I hadn’t spoken to each other since the day we went out and I hadn’t been able to think about it, so that night after my date I cried letting out the pent up emotions I had thought about the fact that maybe me falling in love or being loved would be a notion that could never happen.

During my little outburst, I heard my phone going off and without looking I answered it, the other person on the line was quiet before I heard an outburst, “What the hell happen where are you?” I was confused for a second before realizing that it was Ransom on the line, “Did that son of a bitch do something to you tell me where you are before I go kill him.”

I gave a few hiccuped breaths before Ransom calmed down with the softest tone I have ever heard from him, “Look Ducky I just want to make sure if you’re okay? Tell me where you are and I’ll meet you there in a heartbeat.” With that tone I was able to calm myself down as I told him I was at home, he gave a confirmation telling me he would be here soon as he ordered me to drink a glass of water before he hanged up.

Fifteen minutes later and an empty glass I heard knocking at my door when I opened it Ransom dressed in some plain sweats and the sweater I had given him for Christmas last year no matter what he wore he always looked handsome and this time I couldn’t help the tears that dropped. Ransom crowded me as he began to wipe the tears from my face. Here I stood my hair and makeup a mess dressed in the nicest dress that I had as the person I loved wiped my tears off my face.

“Did he do anything to you Ducky? Tell me and I swear that I will find him and kill him with my bare hands if I have to.” I laughed at his words nut I gave him a shake of my head telling him that nothing had happened. Ransom seemed to let out a breath before he moved us to the couch, we sat there in complete silence as Ransom held me close after what seemed like hours even though it was probably minutes I finally calmed down enough that I had stopped crying altogether.

“I called you today because I knew you had your date with that guy, I was mad, at you, at me, at that prick, and at fucking Claire for setting you up,” he took a deep breath before sitting up and pulling me away from him so we could be facing each other, “I thought of your confession and I am sorry for not calling you sooner but there was so much on my mind I have to tell you.”

I looked up at Ransom seeing that he was being completely serious and I couldn’t help the pull in my chest at the way he looked in that moment how much he has grown from when we were young and how much more he could do in the future, “I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time now but I haven’t been honest with you at all, I don’t want to be your friend anymore and I haven’t wanted us to be friends since high school after we went to different schools,” I pulled away completely when he said that the tears were coming back and I felt as I couldn't breathe anymore Ransom could probably see my upcoming panic attack, so he did something I never thought would happen. He kissed me.

He kissed me.

That was the only thought that was going through my mind as my brain short-circuited, I stared up at him surprised not believing he did that Ransom stood before he started pacing rubbing at his neck before turning towards me, “This is not how I wanted to do it so I feel like I am already messing up but,” he paused as he took a deep breath before he came before me and kneeled so we were at eye level, “I have been in love with you since we were kids I think from the moment you punched me in the face and Grandad forced us to hang out, but I think the moment I knew was when I saw you at the dinner you were talking to some customers and I remember how you reached towards their little girl as you wiped something off her face and made her laugh.”

He leaned towards me just a little until our faces were just inches apart, his eyes darted down to my lips as I wet them, “I knew that if I could I would do whatever it took to keep you at my side even if that meant us only being friends, but I am done being your friend.” With that, he surged forward kissing me much softer than I thought my lips tingled at the contact after a few seconds he darted his tongue to swipe onto my bottom lip as I parted them for him before he began to kiss me a little bit deeper. When he pulled away I couldn’t help but let out a whine he chuckled at I flushed hotly at his laugh giving him a soft smile,

“Ducky you’d don't know how long I’ve been waiting to do that, I love you so much.”

“I love you too Ransom I always have and no matter how annoying you are with your little designer clothes and your dumb car,” he gave an offended scoff which I giggled at, “but I will always love you no matter what.”

Tags: @rmtndew

#plus size ofc #pluss size #plus size oc #ransom drysdale #ransom thrombey x reader #ransom thrombrey #original work #knives out

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