I can't wait to watch Essek and Caleb fall for each other all over again. The flirting and dancing around another. ESSEK ABSOLUTELY CRUSHING THE SCOURGER FOR TOUCHING CALEB. The manipulation to try and get things from another. THE LESSONS IN DUNAMIS!! The forehead kiss on the boat, and Caleb looking in to his soul and tells him, "You were not born with venom in your veins. You learned it. You learned it "
I wanna see the moment when Essek figures it out. The oh fuck I'm screwed moment when he realizes he loves all of them and that they are the only friends he's ever truly had. I wanna see ESSEK CALLING HIM A YOUNG MAN IN THE TOWER.
The realization that they're both just imperfect people going through fire, they've been burnt, and that they are healing. APE-LEB picking hurt Essek up and trying to get the healers to heal him. Learning to trust and the small touches that feel like they weigh tons. Then the eventual making it out despite everything, and making a life together.
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LISTEN MAN. listen. When Essek and Caleb have their conversation at the top of the tower and Caleb tries to tell him that he’s done things on par with his betrayal, and Essek shuts him down, it’s so much more than that. It is so much more than that.
More under the cut because I could write a whole essay on this one interaction
Caleb starts off with “The one thing that has stayed true, though, is that I—well, I carry a lot of sins, like you do.” It’s emblematic of Caleb’s entire worldview from the moment he got out of the sanatorium. He feels that the things he’s done, the things Trent had him do, are the only constant in his life between when he was Bren and who he is right now. He feels that the guilt is constant and inescapable, which is an idea he first expressed to Yasha earlier on in the campaign.
And then he throws out a lifeline to Essek. He tries to bind their guilty threads together. He tells him that they are alike. He’s trying to comfort him, in his own way. It’s not entirely wrong, but Essek is three times his age and knows that their situations are not the same. He knows that his own crimes were premeditated. He knows that he made the personal decision, the active choice, to do what he did, with foreknowledge of what was going to happen.
And so he tells Caleb as much. He says “Not anywhere like I do.” He tries to force Caleb to look at their situations in their full context. By this point, Essek has interacted with Trent, he knows the power and lack of restraint that the Assembly has. Caleb has told him that Trent was his teacher, that he’s familiar with him. It’s not hard for Essek to make the link between how slimy Trent is, and the amount of guilt Caleb feels, and figure out what really happened. And what really happened was that a young man was coerced.
Caleb knows that, but he also carries that guilt for a reason. He did have other options—not past a certain point, not past when Trent made him a volstrucker, but he did have them. He believed that what he was doing was right, but he knows now that it was deeply wrong and horrific. He did hurt people. So he pushes back, he says, “Don’t be so sure.” He’s not listening to Essek’s deeper meaning here.
and Essek is having absolutely none of that, because he sees this thirty-something boy whose crimes are heavy but nothing compared to his own, and he shuts it down. He gets Caleb to look him in the eye, and he looks Bren Ermendrud in the eye and he tells him, “I’m pretty sure, young man.”
And the “young man” is important on multiple levels. Firstly, Essek is literally reminding Caleb of their age difference—Essek’s about 120 years old compared to Caleb’s 33, and for a drow who’s interacted mostly with people centuries or millennia older than both of them, that’s not nothing. That has meaning. He’s reminding Caleb of cosmic insignificance, in a way, which fits with the ninth floor of the tower being covered in stars. And it's not out of nowhere, Essek brings up the point a bit earlier. It's a shallow undercurrent through the whole conversation, but this is the point when Essek makes it mean something.
Essek is also reminding Caleb of their differences in order to absolve him of some of the guilt he’s carrying. it’s a mirror to the “venom in your veins” moment, when Caleb drew Essek into the Mighty Nein, dragged him into redemption, by exposing their similarities. That moment happened in the bowels of a ship, which represents the forced and necessary closeness of the moment. This moment, Essek’s response, happens in a place of infinity, which is a much more natural place of common ground for the two of them. The first one was out of necessity, it was Caleb trying to prove that he’s changed as much as it was him trying to prove that Essek can change. The second one is a choice made because Essek wants to show Caleb kindness, in his own way.
In addition to that, though, Essek also calls Caleb a “young man” in contrast to Trent. He’s establishing himself as the elder of the two of them in a way that doesn’t imply power, it doesn’t even imply wisdom. it’s not him using his age to assert authority over Caleb in the way Trent abused his authority as his teacher. It’s just Essek making a firm statement about taking responsibility for himself. He puts this metaphorical distance between the two of them not to push Caleb away, but to remind him not to get lost in the guilt.
Finally, I think Essek was probably a little tired of being dragged around by the Nein. He's been having a week. He might have needed to remind one of these people that despite how he looks and talks and how close they’ve gotten, he’s significantly older than all of them (aside from maybe Cad, although we don’t actually know how old he is) and he can handle himself. This moment also happens a few minutes after Jester put him on the back foot, by asking about his favourite food, so maybe asserting himself a bit helps him feel more at ease.
And Caleb's response?
"I will take you at your word."
It's hands-up, backing-down, letting Essek win. Essek has put his foot down about the severity of their respective crimes, and this is Caleb letting him know that he's finally listening. It's not a full surrender, but it's Caleb agreeing to believe Essek when he says that no matter what he's done, it's not on the same level as what Essek did, and he shouldn't take more responsibility or guilt than he already has.
The conversation turns to Caleb's goals after that, and they return to their usual conversation style, but that handful of lines is just so layered and impactful when you break down how these two got to this point. I love it. The push-and-pull dynamic here, where Essek lets a little of the Shadowhand out, is just... chef's kiss. All of this is improvised so goddamn well.
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