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adamsrcnan · 26 days

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OKAY OKAY here we goooo an annoyingly long-ish post about all my thoughts on The Sunshine Court

Spoilers Spoilers Spoilersss you've been warned

First things first it is so interesting to see Nora writing from not one but TWO new people's perspective. Jean's perspective is just devastating being inside his head is heartbreaking the constant fear and panic and how much of his energy is used on just pushing down every memory of what was done to him. His coping mechanisms are terrifying and i truly do hope by the end of book 2 he has a healthier way of dealing with it bc baby boy stop hurting yourself :( Every sentence was so painful to read. But also his resilience the entire time to get through it no matter what, god i fucking love him!!! He is a fighter.

Jeremy's perspective is sooooo refreshing. He is such a little sweetheart i could cry. The fact that he sends hand written letters and he's so caring and genuine but he can also be so stern. When he dropped that "i asked you a question" to Lucas fkehdjdfjdh OK SIR. I'M SAT. His relationship with the family butler is so endearing as well i need more background on that for sure! My only one criticism is that he didn't have enough pov chapters and i'm hoping we'll learn more in the second book of course because there's still so much about him and his (dysfunctional? toxic?) family dynamic that we don't know yet but also i'm greedy and i wanna know EVEYTHING about him !!!

Kevin and Jean are so just tragic it actually breaks my fucking heart like "you didn't have to slit my throat on the way out" JEAN??? and "promise me you won't try again. I can't lose you." KEVIN??? And the fact that Jean to this day is still keeping that promise. Also Jean's obvious but secret long term crush on Kevin the way it's subtly dropped every time Jean has to stamp down on his desire's and "temptations" GOD PLEASE I CAN'T STAND IT

SPEAKING OF!!! BISEXUAL JEAN ??? BI JEAN??? BI JEANNNN !!!!

Neil and Jean oh my God like where do i even start?? The guilt Jean feels at what happened to Neil in the Nest and him finally calling him by his name after Riko's death and telling him his game was good. And Neil seriously needs to give himself more credit for how much of a caring person he is because the way he indirectly told Jean that he thinks he is worth saving and didn't even hesitate before asking Stuart to send someone after That Guy after what Jean told him. Neil Josten the man that you are!!!

Jean's little sister Elodie what a beautiful name. Them being so close and him reading to her. The way he found out about her death jolted me differently. It was so awful and i'm so sorry Jean didn't get to see her grow up and meet her again.

Renee and Jean oh my god. Jean thinking she's beautiful (bitch me toooo) And the whole right person wrong time ugh i can't stand it. Him wearing her necklace all the time, enough that Jeremy always notices it. And unabashedly stealing her picture from the foxes lounge. Like he did not give a fuck. He said this one is mine. One good reason to stay alive being rainbows i'm gonna FKSJSKDHDH. Theirs would be such a soft love.

Speaking of soft loves Laila and Cat are EVERYTHINGGGG. God they are so cute with their little domestic life and their rich gay boy son who crashes on their couch with his cardboard cut out dog. That whole friendship dynamic is beautiful. Their fierce protectiveness and care over Jean as well and the patience they have with him even after the little kitchen incident. When Cat took Jean out for a drive on her motorcycle god that was such a heart warming moment and Jean helping them cook as well and becoming the girls' little sous chef it's so cute so endearing !!!

FINALLY FINALLY THE JEREJEAN DYNAMIC

PLEASE I'M GONNA SCREAM

Jeremy being the one who told Jean that Riko was dead i don't even know what to begin with THAT like hhhhhhh. The way they're both stupidly attracted to each other but won't/can't do anything about it. THE WHOLE "say yes Jeremy" SCENE WTF WAS THATTT I WAS GOING INSANEEEE. Both of them having to stop mid sentence when they catch the other looking FINE as hell. Jean being so obvious that even Lucas picks up on the way he looks at Jeremy. Jeremy being there to ground Jean in a Moment and helping him come down from it. Grabbing his face and telling him he's okay. Moving into the room with him to make him feel more comfortable !! The way Jean grabs Jeremy's chin (boiiiii). Jeremy constantly reminding Jean that he is NOT A RAVEN ANYMORE no matter how many times he has to say it. Jeremy saying he'll wait as long as it takes until Jean speaks to him. JEREMY GIVING HIM A HUG AND JEAN CLUTCHING DESPERATELY TO HIS SHIRT FUUCUFHDHSJHSSUHDH and then the "will you help me?" And the "Anything you need" AND THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE A CERAMICS CLASS TOGETHER?!?!?!!!! i can't i can't i can't i caaan'ttt

There's so much more to say but i'm gonna leave it at this for now because i need to go re-read it again and take my time with it this time round but i really could not have asked for anything better Nora truly outdid herself here !!! I'm forever grateful she blessed us with this after so long.

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spooky-bunnys · 6 months

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I have this request based off of something that almost happened with me and my friends

Tenjiku gang is at an arcade why you may ask well it’s izana little brother (name) birthday and everyone is having fun until they lose him and they all start to panic until they find little (name) inside a claw machine hugging a plushie. Izana would be panicking and trying to get his brother whike (name) is happily waving back at tenjiku. Half of tenjiku suggest they get an employee to open claw machine the while the other half say they have to play the game in order to get (name) out

While their bickering shion says “hang on let uncle shion handle this” and starts walking to the claw machine and signals for (name) to scoot back and to cover their eyes which (name) does. The others are asking what shion is doing and he replies with “don’t worry I’m a professional at these types of games” and he proceeds to put his brass knuckle on a punches through the glass of the machine and grabs (name) along with another plushie for (name) and just books it out of the arcade to avoid getting in trouble by not only tenjiku but from the arcade employees and since shion had a head start he takes (name) to the nearest cafe to get him some cake for his birthday (with money that was definitely not stolen from the arcade machines)

It was supposed to be a normal hang out. Eveything was fine. Ran and Rindou hadn't stared fighting. (Name) was being entertained by Hanma at the moment. Kisaki was helping Mochi with a specific punching game. Mucho couldn't make it to the hang out. Finally Izana and Kakucho were with Shion at the claw machines.

They visited arcades frequently lately. Since the colorful lights and sounds excited the toddler of the group. Especially since today was the Toddlers Third birthday. Nothing major has happened yet. Yet being the keyword. Things started getting rough when the brothers started fighting. Then Mochi almost breaking the pumch bag game due to him not punching correctly. Finally Hanma had set (Name) down to get the tot a snack.

That was his biggest mistake. Especially since he knew (Name) had taken a great liking towards a certain toy, in a certain claw machine. Hanma had sat (Name) by his brother. Telling the leader he would be back. (Name) watched his brother with interest at first. Wondering how the thing in front of them work.

Then as if the cards were playing in his favor, Izana managed to win a stuffed animal. Watching with wide eyes as his brother got the toy from the mysterious door. (Name) decided he'll get the toy he wanted from the thing from earlier. Which lead to the current moment.

"HANMA WHERE IS HE?!" The gang had never seen their leader so panicked. But it was fair since (Name) was his precius treasure. "I told you! I sat him by you to get him (snack)." Kisaki pinched the bridge of his nose. Annoyed. He said it was a bad idea for the lanky male to watch (Name) in the first place. It took almost 8 minutes for them to find (Name). Well Rindou found him.

"What the hell?!" Rindou's yell caught their attention and thats when they noticed he was staring into a claw machine. "Hm~ what's wrong Rin-Rin?" Thats when Ran saw the sight and pale. "(NAME)?!" Cue to Tenjiku panicking. Inside an out of order claw machine, sat 3 year old (Name) cuddling a lion stuffed animal. He looked so happy.

The gang did not share this happiness. In fact it was almost the complete opposite. "(Name) buddy. Remain calm. Listen to Aniki and Kaku-nii okay? We're gonna get you out!" Izana then whipped his head toward Kisaki. "Well?! How do we get him out!?" Kisaki stuttered. Not sure what to do honestly. They could get the staff, but there was a high chance they wouldn't know what to do.

Shion brushed his way to the front. Upon spotting his favorite Uncle, (Name) dropped the stuffed lion in favor of trying to get to his Uncle Shion. Seeing how he wasn't able to reach said Uncle upset (Name). Which sent Izana into a bigger panic. Shion quickly thought of an idea. "Listen I know exactly what to do. I'm a professional at these type of games. Let Uncle Shion handle this."

Shion signaled (Name) to move back. After some fussing he did as told. Shion put his hand in his pocket. Putting on his brass knuckles. Without missing a beat he punch the glass. Shattering it. Which made the kther members immediately start yelling/screaming (in Izana's case) about (Name)'s safety. Shion quickly grabbed (Name), the stuffed lion, and (animal) before racing out the arcade.

It took the others a few seconds to realize what happened before they quickly rushed after them. They took refuge at a nearby cafe. Which happened to be (Name)'s favorite. When the others finally arrived (after carefully avoiding the workers) they saw Shion feeding a happy (Name). (Name) was cuddling the lion and eating cake.

The others slowly joined the two. (Name) of course didn't notice. He was enjoying the cake and new stuffed animal he got. Izana carefully checked the toddler and after making sure the toddler was okay, quickly tried attacking Shion. Kakucho took over feed (Name) cake, trying to keep him distracted so he won't see his brother hog tying his favorite uncle behind him.

#male reader #x male reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x male reader #tokyo rev #tenjiku x male reader #tenjiku #izana kurokawa #shion madarame #kanji mochizuki #kisaki tetta #hanma shuji #haitani rindou #haitani ran #haitani brothers #kakucho hitto

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hellcat8908 · 3 months

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Love Lost 3 Azriel x Reader

Warnings: Language, Angst, Self-Hatred

please read the previous parts before continuing if you haven't already.

One Two

You woke to the delicious smell of soup and found a bowl on your nightstand with some warm bread. "You slept through dinner, so I brought you some soup." Eris says as he puts down the book he was reading. "Thank you." You say as you gently pick up the bowl and start eating. "I really appreciate you letting me stay here." You tell him between bites. "Glad to have you back for as long as you choose to stay." He turns his attention back to his book and lets you eat in peace. Once you're done, you get up to take your dishes back to the kitchen. "Leave them, I'll get them later." He says, closing his book and sitting it down.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks. "Which part? Azriel breaking my heart or failing at carrying my baby?" You ask, regretting the tone in your voice. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to come out like that." You apologize. "Stop apologizing for everything. You're allowed to feel however you want, and after everything you've been through, I don't expect you to be cheerful." Eris says. "I feel like a failure, Eris. My body couldn't carry the baby. Madja said there was no way of knowing and nothing that could've been done."

You try blinking away your tears. Eris holds your hand as you continue. "I know how badly he wants a baby but then to be cursed with a mate who can't carry it. I've failed him and now he resents me. I'm not even sure I can go through this again even if I wanted to try for another baby." You admit as your head hangs low and the tears fall. Eris wraps his arms around you, "You're not a failure, and you're definitely not a curse. You're one of the strongest women I know to go through this. I know none of this is easy for you, but you're being too hard on yourself." He says.

"Be gentle with yourself, especially while you heal. You've been through enough that you don't need to fight yourself on top of everything else." He says as he comforts you. You start to calm down, and the tears stop. "You need to get some rest. You've had a rough day." He says as he stands and gathers your dishes. "We'll spend some time together tomorrow, maybe a walk through the forest." He says, making you smile. You used to love walks in the forest when you lived here. "Goodnight, Eris." You say before turning off the light. "Goodnight, y/n." He says before shutting the door.

Azriel knelt on the ground as his wings sagged around him. Cassian had never seen him look so broken. "What do you mean you're the reason?" Cass asks again. "I'm not good enough to be a father. The mother realized it and took the baby before I ever had the chance to try. Y/n was meant for being a mother. You've seen her with Nyx. I'm being punished for never being good enough." Azriel says as his eyes water.

"Azriel, Madja said there was no way of knowing this would happen, and there was nothing that could've been done. You need to quit blaming yourself for this. The only thing you should be punished for is abandoning your mate during the darkest part of her life. That's what you should feel guilty about." Cassian says. "What matters most now is what you do now." He says, placing a reassuring hand on Azriel's shoulder. "I need to see her, to try to fix this, if not fix it at least talk to her and tell her eveything."

"We'll go, but if she doesn't want to see you, we're leaving. She's been through enough, and you're going to do this on her terms." Cassian states. "Understood." Azriel says as he gets to his feet. "Rhys will meet us there." Cassian says before they winnow to the house. The house is dark and quiet as they enter. Azriel calls your name as he makes his way towards the bedroom. He calls several more times after finding the bedroom empty. "Azriel, you're going to want to see this." Cassian calls from the kitchen. Azriel quickly makes his way downstairs, finding Rhys and Cassian standing at the table.

He picks up the note, and with each word, his heart breaks more and more. "She's gone. She told me when I left to remember that when I walked out the door that I made the decision. At the time, I was too angry and upset to realize what she meant. I've lost her, and I lost the best part of my life." He says as he heart shatters with realization. Tears fall from his eyes as Cassian and Rhys help him into the chair. "We'll find her." Rhys says, trying to comfort Azriel. "You'll only find her if she wants to be found." Azriel says, "and I've given her every reason to not want to be found by any of us."

"Cassian stay with him, I'm going to inquire if any of the other courts have seen or heard from her, also I'll check with Feyre and Nesta and see if she said anything to them about where she was going or where she might go." Rhys says before heading back to the river house. "You should try to get some rest." Cassian says. "How can I sleep when it hurts this bad?" Azriel says. "What about the bond? Can't you try to reach her that way." Cassian asks. "The bond has been sealed off from us since I shut her out. I doubt she'd open it back up now. And knowing her, she's probably shut Rhys out of her mind as well." Azriel says as he stands and grabs a drink from the cabinet, pouring one for him and one for Cassian.

Next Part: 4

@crazylokonugget

#acotar #batboys #sarah j maas #acotar fic #acotar fanfic #azriel #azriel x reader #acotar angst #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger

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licorice-tea · 4 months

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Don’t Fall In Love With Me (Yet)

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x reader

Content: strawhat!reader, gender neutral reader, feelings and fluff (my faves🤞🏽), so much tension, no resolution of that tension… yet😏, lowkey “i hate everyone but you” trope, very brief mention of some canon typical violence, but no actual violence <3

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: lalalalala i love law😇 i actually wrote about twice as much as what’s here to begin with, but i felt like it was too long for one post, so i might upload it as a second part later if anyone wants that! as always ty for the love, and i hope you enjoy! (did i write this instead of finishing part 3 of my Zoro mini series? perchance. (that will be up soon though!))

Part 2

It’s a day like any other on board the Thousand Sunny- calm waters, music, occasional shouting, and just one abnormality. Law, captain of the Heart Pirates, is a guest on board the Strawhat Crew’s ship in the aftermath of Dressrosa. And despite their hospitality, he finds practically everything about life on board their ship to be draining…

Every potentially quiet moment is interrupted by the crew’s shenanigans.

For starters: the cook and swordsman argue over every little thing, and most of their arguments escalate into fights. The navigator is actually a petty thief or a con-artist at best, and her double, the sniper, takes it upon himself to cause dangerous explosions at least once a day. The musician is an incredibly loud pervert, though the shipwright is somehow even louder and more dramatic. The archeologist is alright- she’s quiet, but Law finds her constant observation more eery than comforting. And the captain is still somehow convinced that his doctor could be used as a source of “emergency food.” Then there’s you; the one who brings whatever you’re working on at the time up to the deck so you can work in the sunlight, wears your weapons like they’re accessories, who only takes breaks from working to visit with your nakama, and always offers a charming smile when you catch Law staring… which happens multiple times in the course of the day.

Law is often irritated, rigid, and cold- so different from your own optimistic and nonchalant demeanor. At breakfast, he doesn’t talk much. Just eats his meal and thanks Sanji before excusing himself to go pour over anatomy books from the ship’s library. He does so for hours, not once joining the Strawhat Crew on deck or even taking time to explore the ship on his own. Nami frequents the library, as well, but she’s taken to drawing maps in her room or on deck since their guests arrival. When night begins to settle overhead, he may return to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, before going right back to his work.

At first, one might have been inclined to think Law didn’t like y/n at all. They can often see his gaze trained on them form from the corner of their eye, but chooses to ignore it sometimes and address it with a smile others. He almost never speaks to them if possible, only offering a nod or a mumbled response to whatever they says. But, he goes out of his way to sit by them at mealtimes and to find himself in the same narrow hallways as them, so that their arms brush. Those are the moments he obsesses over in his mind while he dozes off from his textbooks- the feel of their skin against his, and their kind acknowledgements- always void of harsh judgment.

It’s not just the lack of cruelty in essentially eveything they do, to Law; it’s the presence of love. Love for their nakama, their work, people and places they barely know, even him. He doesn’t recall ever having met someone so full of love that goes beyond superficial kindness- because they can be sarcastic and moody at times- besides perhaps Corazon.

And to y/n, there’s just something about Law that peaks their interests. Maybe it’s the feeling of having someone new around, or something even more indescribable and foreign to the pirate.

Zoro is asleep in the men’s cabin tonight, so y/n is keeping watch. It’s the usual arrangement for the 2 night owls of the crew- when Zoro has truly exhausted his body, he sleeps below deck with the others, and y/n has no trouble staying up through the night.

They turn on some quiet music on their speaker, a must have for any music lover. For a while, they just watch the sea and sky. Nights at sea are like a blackout. But, there is no need for light with strong eyesight and the even stronger moon and starlight.

So it’s no surprise that they see, just out of the corner of their peripheral vision, the top of a white and black speckled hat bobbing up and down as it moves toward the kitchen. Y/n’s eyes widen ever so slightly and their breath catches in their throat. The guest makes them feel silly, in a way, for not being able to discern their own feelings toward him, nor his toward them. They get so caught up in their thoughts about him that eventually they give up. Y/n shakes their head, mentally chastising themself for even being embarrassed or flustered in the first place. And with that confidence boost, they decide to go talk to him.

Next thing they know, y/n is standing before the kitchen door with no plan in mind for what they’re going to say to their crew’s ally. They open the door, but he doesn’t look up from the coffee brewing on the stove.

Y/n clears their throat to announce their presence, and Law whips his head around to see who it is. They offer a friendly smile and a little wave.

“Hi.” They speak softly, as if afraid to break the peace of the night.

A beat passes with no response from Law. Internally, he wishes they hadn’t walked in on him at this moment. The light from the overhead lamp catches in their eyes, and he feels entirely too seen. Not in the way he feels seen by someone like Robin, though, whose constant observation makes him feel uncomfortable; like one wrong move and he’ll have hell to pay for. No; y/n sees him and he’s scared that he might start spewing nonsense to avoid revealing his feelings. And suddenly his cheeks are on fire, and everything is quiet, and all he can focus on is the stars in their eyes that he tries so desperately to look away from.

They tilt their head, likely in concern, and he pulls himself out of his thoughts to mumble, “Hey.”

“Cant sleep?” y/n questions, their starry eyes (as described by Law) flickering over the coffee pot on the counter and back to him.

Law shrugs, then pulls his hat lower over his eyes to hopefully hide his warm face. “I wasn’t trying to sleep.”

“Hm…” they hum in response, “Want to keep watch with me then? If you aren’t busy.”

He thinks they’re just being friendly, like always. When they first met, Law was confused. It made no sense for someone so mild mannered to have a bounty of well over 500 million (now almost double that amount in the time that’s passed), though he didn’t doubt that looks could be deceiving. But even in the midst of battle, of which the two had been in several together, they refused to take kill shots or anything of the sort. So he was still unsure of how they had earned such an impressive reward for their capture. Still, they clearly had a high regard for life, and he had come to learn that they truly were just that kind hearted, not to mention witty and generous. And judging by the “Sora: Warrior of The Sea” sticker he’d noticed on small a journal they carried, which was one amongst many; a bit of a nerd, too. All of these things and more had made Law secretly impartial to them. Or at least, those were the reasons he has listed in his mind to make sense of these feelings.

So he nodded, much to their surprise, and mumbled again “Sure.”

The curve of their smile opens up into a grin, and y/n leaves while fully expecting Law to follow (whenever his coffee was ready.) Which, he does.

#part 2?#one piece x reader #one piece x you #fanfic #one piece #law x reader #x reader #law fluff #trafalgar law #law x you #straw hats #straw hat pirates #straw hat reader #teehee #i love writing fanfic😇#new hobby😈

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phantoms-world-and-more · 2 years

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Danny big brother to damian

Danal is a prodigy, he can adapt to any situation, follow muscle movements with ease. He has a laid back, sassy and cheerful personality, and is the nicest person in the league, but you piss him off may god have mercy.

When damian was born Danal fell in love with him and became more of a caretaker than talia when it came to damian.

Whenever damian had trouble with a movement Danal patiently helped him, when he hit his 'why' phase as a child Danal was the only one who could be around him. He was the only one who could get damian to smile, damian adored Danal and wanted to be like him. Strong and deadly but that didnt stop him from being kind and helpful.

Ra saw that while yes Danal and him butt heads more often than not, he was far more perfect as an hair than damian and decided to use that.

He planned to execute damian in front of danny to break him. What he didnt expect was for Danal to interfear and take the killing blow for him.

Damian had to watch his big brother, the person who tought him what love is, cared for him, gave him the best training, and now Danal gave his life for his. Danal told him in his last words how much he was proud of him. How damian is stronger than he thinks and how loving him was worth it even if it got him killed.

Damian believes a peice of him died with Danal that day.

No one checked if danal was alive after the final blow, but if they did they wound see there was a little bit of life left on him, so when talia took Danals body to the Lazarus pit it did something else.

DAMIAN:

After Danals death damin became the most aggressive person in the league, attacking anyone who came to close or bad mouthed Danal

He has a box in his room with things Danal owned/ made together / gift from him

When Bruce took damian and introduced him as brothers to the rest of the batfam he lost it, started yelling saying that their not his brothers

Damian resents talia for not helping Danal or at least not stopping him

Damian hates Ra more than anything

After damian warmed up to the batfam he refused to call them brother, he called them family but not brother

Damian refuses to tell bruce that he had another son, as a form of punishment for not being there for him

Damian has a map of the stars because Danal loved space

Damian tries to incorporate Danals fighting style into his, but since he didnt learn much he failed alot of the time, whenever anyone asked about it they were met with a knife

Damian agreed with bruce on how to love and is more familiar with love, and it confuses everyone where he learned to love

Damian is fearsomely protective of anything to to with Danal

There are 2 days of the year that people leave damian alone no matter what Danals birthday and his death anniversary

Danal showed damiam pictures of different animals as a kid and thats why he loves them

After a few years damian learns to some-what accepts danals death

Damian refused to blam himself for danals death even if he believes it to be true, danal wouldnt want that

Danals last words ring in his ear " loving you is worth eveything little brother, even my life, I'll never stop loving you

DANAL /DANNY

Danal woke in the ghost Zone after talia put him in the Lazarus pit with no memory of before, but subsequent knowledge of everything before; knew how to fight/cook/write/read/ be assasin/ what the Lazarus pit is but dosent know how he knowes this or have any memories

Danny wanders around encouraging ghosts till he finds the perfect place for his lair and builds it

He finds the fenton portal and decides to go through it

He discovered his obssession was protecting people he cared about

He traveled between the ghost zome and human relm with a lot more subtlety than the other ghosts

During his years as amity park protector he discovered new powers, he can change into a human form, ice powers, duplicates, something similar to clockworks ability to see everything, ghostly wail and how to control it, how to make portals throught the infinite realms and alot more

He always felt like something was missing and after protecting amity for a while he made a truse with the other ghosts and decided to traved the infinite realms

For reasons he cant explain he continues to train his physical body in the martial art style he knowes

He loves animals for reasons he cant say and loves to play with them

He has more allies due to them knowing what his obssession is

#danny phantom #fic prompt #daily prompt #dc x dp #danny fenton #batman #dp x dc #damian wayne #ra al ghul #talia al ghul #Danal al ghul #damian al ghul

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fineghkst · 10 months

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Too late (part II)

Once Rhysand invites Eris to the winter solstice, you got all the attention from the heir of the Autumn Court, making a jealous Azriel.

i almost gave up posting this bc idk if it’s good, but here it is 😖

warnings: a little angst and kinda suggestive at the end

if you find any mistakes please let me know!

part I

[masterlist]

No one knew where Azriel was.

He simply disappeared after the disaster during the winter solstice. All his clothes and weapons were left in his room, except the Truth Teller. Eveything was untouchable, exactly where he left it before leaving Velaris.

You could feel Rhysand and Feyre were trying to hide something from you. They told you not to worry, that Azriel would come back soon, but you didn’t believe them. You could sense they weren’t sure if Az would actually come back.

You couldn’t understand why the inner circle was acting so weird, even Cassian seemed to be more careful with his jokes when you were around. Like you could break if something wrong was said.

You two got closer over the years, especially after you started training with him during the mornings. You got used to being woken up by him, calling you lazy for still being in bed. Azriel's calm face became the first thing you saw as soon as you opened your eyes, with the shadows always prowling around him.

But now, as the Spymaster, no one would find him unless he wanted to.

During that week, which seemed to be the longest time of your life, Eris sent a lot of letters and gifts. At that point you received a hole collection of jewelry made from fire stone and an invitation to dinner with him at the Autumn Court. Still, you couldn’t feel excited to see Eris. So you ignored all the letters and left all the gifts abandoned under your bed.

The only thought in your mind my was Azriel.

Sometimes you felt like your heart was being crushed, and it hurt like someone’s pain was being added to yours.

You’re feeling miserable and didn’t understand why Azriel’s suddenly disappearance was affecting you that much. You two were only friends, that was all. Even if you felt a deeper feeling for him, you knew he would never like you that way.

When Eris started to give you attention, you saw a chance to get over Azriel. But even with all your efforts to love the male, your feeling for Az didn’t go away.

At some point, you started to have nightmares. You keep dreaming about Azriel being hurt by someone, Azriel being killed or simply never being found again, leaving you alone in this world forever.

Today you woke up scared, letting a cry of despair escape from your mouth. You still could see the image of your dream in your head, of Azriel’s lifeless body laying in a dark forest.

Panic still spread throughout your mind. The image refused to leave. You wanted to scream, you wish to go back in time and fix everything, to tell Azriel how you felt.

“(Y/n)?” The familiar voice said, making your heart beat faster.

Azriel was standing in front of your door with a worried look on his face. He walked in your direction with caution, like he was scared that you would disappear if any sudden movement was made.

“Az?” You asked, afraid that was just another dreams and you would woke up at any second just to find out he was still missing.

He sat on the edge of the bed.

“I heard you screaming” He asked with a low hoarse voice.

“I’m fine, it was just… a nightmare.”

“I understand.” Azriel looked at you, trying to find the right words to say next “I’m sorry to enter in your room like this, I just… I just thought you could be in danger.”

“It’s okay.” You wanted to get closer to him, to talk everything that was running your mind. “I was worried about you, why did you left like that? What happened at the winter solstice?”

The questions left your mouth before you could stop them.

Azriel’s shadows were dancing around him, slowly approaching your body, as if they were happy to finally see you again.

“I’m sorry for that as well” Azriel let a sigh left his mouth “I left because I’m a selfish bastard. I wish I could say I have a honorable reason for it, but I don’t. The truth is I left because I couldn’t see you near Eris anymore”

You tried to digest his words, finally starting to understand.

“Honestly, at that point I wasn’t giving a shit for Rhysand’s alliance with Eris. And I should, because he’s my friend, my brother and my High Lord.” He finally looked inside your eyes “But I can’t watch my mate with another male, especially him.”

The shock spread throughout your body.

Mate.

That’s what he said. You’re his mate.

“Azriel.” You said, breaking the distance and taking his hands with your own.

He felt a shiver go through his spine. The way you hold his scarred hands without hesitation, your eyes carried with affection. Even if they’ve caused only pain and suffering in the last few centuries for the others.

For the first time, he didn’t felt like a monster, like a villain of someone’s story. He could be the villain to a lot of people, but not to you. Azriel would never be able to hurt you.

“Let me finish first.” Azriel interrupted before you could say anything “I’m back because of you, to fight for you. I don’t want to believe it’s too late for us.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” You said “I’m so stupid, if I wasn’t so scared of telling you how I felt, none of that would’ve happened”

“How you felt?” He looked confused. “You have feelings for me?”

“How can the Spymaster be so oblivious of what is infront of your nose?” You said, laughing “Yes, I do have feelings for you, but I never thought you felt the same way. I was so blind that I didn’t even felt the bond.”

But it was there, filling your chest. Uniting your soul to Azriel’s. That’s why you felt so miserable in the last days, you could feel his despair echoing with yours through the bond, almost creating a sad melody.

“(Y/n)… please don’t tell me that I got into the biggest existencial crises of my life just because I was too scared to tell you about the bond. When I could have you long time ago.”

“Don’t feel bad, because I’m afraid we both did the same thing.” You said and he laugh.

Hesitant, he lift one of his hands and slightly caressed your face. His shadows touched your soft skin, moving around your arms, making you feel a tickle.

“You’re my mate, Azriel. And I’m only yours.” You finally said the words and he looked at you with a indecipherable expression. “I’ve always been yours. And you’re right, it’s not too late for us”

“(Y/n)” A groan left his mouth “Since the first time I put my eyes on you, you’ve conquered me in every possible way. I’m yours and you’re mine, and I won’t let anyone get in the middle.”

Azriel moved his hands to your neck and you instantly whimpered in anticipation. His eyes darkened when he heard it, and he finally broke the distance between you two, kissing you deeply. He quickly pushed you to his lap, trying to get you the closer he could, and put his hands into your waist.

“Time to claim what’s mine, love.” Azriel said with a lust in his eyes.

#azriel x you #azriel x reader #acotar x reader #azriel

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jimmy-johns-was-taken · 26 days

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Hello!! Could you do Tim wright as a father figure to a teenager who’s around 15-17. the teen recently fell in love with a boy and they started dating and now they talk about him constantly to Tim lmao and Tim sees him sometimes when he comes over.

Awwwwww this is super cute!!!

Dad Tim being Dad Tim

I think at first you would definitely keep your significant other a secret

Like I’m going to assume your some kind of killer? Being Tim’s child

So your partner probably knows, but no one you work with knows about them

And one day

Your partner asks to come over

Tim, Brian, Toby, Cody, and Kate should have all been out and about

On patrol, missions, something

So you thought “sure! why not? what could go wrong?”

You still snuck your partner into the house, through your room window

But with you believing that nobody was home, you don’t lock your door

Hours go by and you and your partner are having a great time, probably cuddling and making out

And then

Mid-make out session

Tim walks in

It’s silent for a few moments before all hell breaks loose

“EXCUSE ME? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU SUCKING FACE WITH MY CHILD??????”

Tim is enraged

He kicks your partner out and you get an earful

He lectures you about eveything

How dangerous it is for you to have anyone (he doesn’t even want to know how you met or anything of that matter)

You don’t seem to care to much for his lecture and two days later, your partner is back over

This time, Tim is sitting in the living room as your partner walks in

Tim looks at him, eyes narrowing

“Hello, kid.” It’s a very stern tone and it stuns your partner into silence

“Uhhh, hi Mr. Tim”

“Go to your room.”

You both bolt to your room trying to not deal with Tim

I think from there, Tim just slowly gets used to your partner being over

It’s strange, but he doesn’t mind

They make you happy, so Tim won’t complain to terribly much

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #ticci toby #ben drowned #eyeless jack #jane the killer #jeff the killer #nina the killer #creepypasta x reader #plantonic tim/masky #ik masky / tim is originally a marble hornets character but i want it to be said that i’m using the cp version?

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pinkchrissysposts · 2 months

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JUST EMBODY THAT STATE!!!

I'm not the OG poster I just copy pasted it from reddit

It finally clicked - after 4 years of trial & error

Yes, I tried for 4 years to manifest the big things and it didn't fucking work and now I know why and it makes sense.

So I found about Neville like many of you, after a break up. And during this time I tried everything, followed coach after coach, reading his books and understanding shit, following another coach, reading Joseph Murphy, doing SATS, meditations, affirmations, mental diet eveything you can imagine and failed miserably.

I did have some successes though, but not the "big" ones I wanted.

So I read the books again. The Power of Awareness made the click for me.

So I realized the key is to embody the new state you long for. In your mind, you are already what you want to be. Yes, this has been repeated a million times but I never actually understood what this means.

I used affirmations but I never embodied the new state. Basically I was in the same old shitty state and repeating affirmations all day long.

Meditation and SATS, I used to repeat my scene over and over, trying to add tones of reality, feeling the relief of having it but I didn't embody the new state, I was the same. It's like the poor you is couting money in SATS. Yes, you feel the cash, the texture, but your state is the same, poor (embodying the new state is changing basically your self concept, how you see yourself in relation to your desire).

It's like, let's say you want to be a stand-upper but you freak out on a stage. Your current state of mind is of fear and anxiety and insecurity. So you can repeat a million times "I am confident", if you don't embody the confidence state it won't work. I realized the techniques are just ways to attain the new state until it becomes the natural you. See Kevin Hart on a stage, what do you think is his state regarding confidence?

So yes, it makes sense, now I realize what mental diet is. Whenever you catch yourself drop into the shitty state adjust it, by embodying the new one until it becomes who you are.

These are just my 2 cents.

Original post if you want to look in comments

#reddit #loa #embody state #affirm #affirmation #manifesting

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bostova · 4 months

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i remember being small, maybe 2 or 3 years old. i had chicken pox and was so terribly itchy, so my mother put a lotion on my itchy that smelled bad, and unnatural, and yucky on my sores and hoped that i would sleep, but she left my moon lamp on and it was too bright in my room. i held my Captain Scarlet doll and my teddy and pulled the quilt over my face, but then i got too hot. some of my scars are from the sores.

I remember earlier than that, though. I asked my mother and she told me I was too small to be able to remember it, but i can remember it better than even she had. HE came home different and unrecognisable and Scary. There was a big dark cloud outside and it was raining. His head was shaved and he was wearing a red tracksuit. He was the angriest that my small eyes had ever seen a person to be. He smashed eveything in the kitchen, it was so loud and I covered my ears, and then he made his way through the house, punching holes in our doors, stamping on my best toys and my mother's shiny things. She put me in the car before he could break us too and we drove far away for many hours and the rain was hitting the car so hard. And then... we went home again so she must have thought it was safe now for some reason. I hoped that it would be to a different house, with new toys and no holes, but it wasn't. He was gone and my mother was left to pick up all of the little pieces of plates and cups and our lives were supposed to continue as though that hadn't and wouldn't happen again.

I remember getting lost a lot when my mother would take us shopping, i never remember him being with us, so probably we were out to try and be away from him and pretend again. i remember her showing me where in the Woolworths i should go if i got lost, but i could never find where that was, nor could i find her. i cried for a while and looked at the toys that pulled my eyes into them and had probably caused me to get lost in the first place. I looked at them through their boxes and didn't understand why i wasn't allowed to open them, were they not for children like me to play with? she always found me, but i only really remember the getting lost, not the getting found.

I remember being sat in the bath when i was 3 and being sad that i was alone and had no friends to play with, then later my mother told me that i was gonna have a sister, and that she was doing that so i wouldn't be alone. i remember hoping that i could be a good sister to her, not realising that i had to be a brother which was different. i knew this from seeing some brothers in my cartoons i think. She was so small and i remember taking a picture of her with my red camera when she was born, my mother told me to make sure it doesn't flash because my sister's eyes were so small, much smaller than mine, so i covered the flash with my finger just in case.

i remember being 6 or so, and inventing worlds for my toys to live in and be happy. I wished i could live there too, and hoped that if i wished hard enough, and gave those worlds as much detail as i could, i would be able to go there. i remember copying the voices and memorising all the lines from the films my mother had taped for me, which i was allowed to watch whilst he was away. My mother always laughed when i could say the next line of the film before the tv said it. Hook was a favourite film of mine, i loved how peter was able to fly and live in such a wonderful place like Neverland, and it always made me cry when he had to go home to his own family, because it meant i couldn't pretend that he was my dad too any more.

I remember being 6 or 7 and she showed me Highlander. I loved the swords and the sound they made, and i wanted to live forever, i think she did too because she was crying a lot. The Kurgan did not scare me, as i had seen scarier things already, and his sword was much better because the spikes popped out and it was longer. But he killed Ramirez so that made him the bad guy. BETTER TO BURN OUT, THAN TO FAAAADE AWAYYY, YYYAAGH i would say often and my mother would laugh.

i didn't like school very much and the teachers did not like me either. one of my teachers always used to spell things wrong when she wrote them on the board so i would make sure to raise my hand and tell her, so she could spell it right, you are supposed to spell things right when you are a teacher because you don't want other kids to learn it wrong, this was the right thing to do, but then she wouldn't let me go to the toilet when i asked until i stopped asking. and then i got a kidney infection and had to be in the hospital with a needle for 5 whole days because i wasn't allowed to go to the toilet i think, i was 7. she made me stand up in front of the class when i came back and asked me to explain to them what what had been wrong and asked me if it burned when i went to the toilet, i said yes and my face was red and i wanted to run away but I couldn't run home, and the other children laughed. those kids in my class had made a small card for me telling me to get well soon, i didn't recognise any of the names.

i used to fall over a lot i think, i was clumsy and "uncoordinated", that was a big word i learned from the school nurse, i asked her to say it some more times and then to write it down and then i never forgot it. I would see her a lot, and i remember making her laugh once because she had to write my name in the accident book and i said "you'll find my name in there a lot!" and she said "oh, in the wars are you?" and i smiled and agreed with her, but didn't really understand what that meant.

i remember having some friends who were girls who i liked a lot, and some boys who i had to play with because those girls would also run away from me at lunch time, they said its because they don't play with boys, but I didn't really understand what that meant or why it meant i had to try and play football instead of what they were doing. i hated football and being in the mud, one boy always used to push me over and put my things in the mud because i wasn't really a boy he said and i talked funny, and he spat on my new shoes, and stole my favourite lime green transformer car. i tried to tell the teacher but she was the one who wouldn't let me go to the toilet. why did it have to be like that i wondered?

for all of those years i wished i could be back by the mountains and the sea, and the place where they meet, where i was born and it was warm. my auntie and my nain and my taid were there, so why couldn't we be too? we could just get in a car and go there, and i remember being mad at my mother for a very long time that we had to live with Him instead. it was only later that she told me it's because he was in the police and he would kill her and me and my sister if we left, and nobody would know. she had tried to tell the police before about the way he hurt us but they said they don't know what she was talking about, he would never do that, he was a good policeman. so she belived him when he promised to hurt us if we tried to get away.

i remember high school was so big and i felt so small, and now i REALLY had to be a boy, and more boys would hurt me if i tried not to be one of them. i liked books a lot, and read them whenever i could, i got good marks in english and i liked my teacher. i wrote a poem about war once, and she told me i was a dark horse, i didn't know what that meant, and i was thankful that another kid who was loud asked her what that meant so I didn't have to use my voice to do it.

it was high school where i got into music, and i realised that music was like books because it made pictures in my head, but other kids could see those pictures too and music was easier to share than a book. i got into guitar along with a few other mosher kids because punk rock was new and exciting, and easy to learn and play for people. my first guitar was 3/4 scale and had one pickup in the middle position. it was terrible and loved it, and the way it fit my body.

i grew a lot towards the end of high school, i got tall and i grew my hair long and straight, and i think a lot of girls liked me then, and i liked some too, but i had no way to talk to them any more because i still didn't want the boys to hurt me, though i was taller than them all now, which made me feel alien and strange. i was just glad that i could run away from PE to play guitar now.

college was where i met my first girlfriend, she said she loved me and she hurt me a lot and often, this was the only kind of love i knew how to receive besides the love that my mother gave which isn't what a girlfriend is for, so i gratefully accepted it, believing her when she said that if she didn't love me who else would? she did some stuff with other guys too, but thats okay because she said she didn't love them, just me, and that i wasn't allowed to talk to any girl other than her because she loved me. I believed her because why wouldn't I? i was 17 and had never been in love before.

i went to university and i learned about byron and the renaissance and shakespeare and wordsworth, about postmodernism and structuralism, and i studied film too and adaptation. i loved learning things but i could never stay and do the other fun stuff with the people in my class because i had to go home and i wasn't allowed to be far away from my girlfriend. she said i wasn't otherwise she would tell her friends about how embarrassing my body was and what i sounded like when i had sex with her, my face went red at the thought. i ate one sandwich a day for my meal, this felt like enough, but people kept asking me if i was okay. i was cold a lot, and very thin as I realised later. i grew a beard with my long hair because i wanted to embody the manliness that i saw in films and read about in books and saw in the bands i liked, then my girlfriend wouldn't be able to embarrass me to her friends.

I was 23 when she left me, I still didn't have the guts to leave her, and i cried for a long time, because i believed nobody else could ever love me. but then someone did, and i moved across the world to be with her and to get away from everything. i loved her and she loved me, and in a new special way where i didn't have to be hurt or scared, but i think she knew that the manliness was just a costume and this wasn't what she wanted. she wanted the real thing, not the pale imitation mask that i wore. we moved back to here and tried to make it work for a while until it was either we get married and decide who moves and stays where, or we go seperate ways. she chose the latter for me because i was paralysed by the idea of losing love once again.

i realised i liked boys too, a long time before that, but i had never had the chance to try things with them, to try kissing them or touching their bodies, and when i finally did i chose to wear girls clothes and underwear because that felt correct to me, and the way they touched me felt like they were touching a girl, and that felt nice. I used to step out onto the landing outside my bedroom at home with the big mirror when nobody else was home, and see what i looked like in my girl clothes. Every now and then if i held my body in a certain way I would see that girl, and then she was gone again. and i would put my metalhead guy clothes back on and feel the anger that i thought the music was giving to me. I didn't know that anger was coming from inside me, this was how it had to be for me, i was 27.

For my whole life up to that point i knew that 30 years was my cutoff point, i knew the anger that fueled me, and followed me around was also burning me out from the inside, like a tree in a fire that is left standing only as a hollow shell of itself. "no more" i said, 30 was the end of it all.

A funny thing happened though when i was 28. i met a girl at a party with some friends and felt like i recognised her, she was tall and strong and beautiful and was dressed like a wrestler for the theme of the party. I was drawn in and i had to know more about her. i realised then that we had met before, she was the brother of a boy i knew well from high school, and she was a girl now. she had done it, and i didn't know that was a thing you could just... do. she was only a year younger than me and she was a beautiful girl now, and i was speechless. i internalised that wonder, but never quite put the two together about the way i felt about myself and what she had done for herself. that came a little later when i was 29 and very quickly approaching my cutoff point. i realised then that i had to choose. I chose "fuck it, i may as well try and be a girl, i can always leave the world later if it doesn't work out"

when i was 30, and my body was now getting softer, and I was allowed to be beautiful thanks to the hormones i had waited a lifetime for, i met another beautiful girl like me. i could tell she had been sad for a long time too and was also seeing the world through the new eyes that we had given ourselves. we grew and bloomed together, we shared our plushies and added new ones to our family, and added other beautiful girls like us to our bouquet that we had met along the way, making our family bigger and bigger. we are now surrounded by our sisters and wives and partners and so much love that binds us and makes us stronger together, and we are held by it. we have love that stretches across oceans to where my wife and little girl are waiting, and are happy and held by their loves too. one day i hope we can all join up into one place, like a wild garden of flowers and plants and trees and moss and bees and bugs and dogs. i get to be a dog too now, and I like that i can forget about the bad stuff when i am allowed to be dog. i play with my stuffed toys and i eat from my bowl and I nap in my doggie bed, and when i wake i can bark at my girls and they bark back to me, our home is full of food and joy and music, this is what love is supposed to be i think.

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taihjj · 10 months

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I'll be your candle, burn me upside-down

Suguru Geto | Angst | F! Reader

Summary: Suguru expected to die young. Maybe in the hands of his best friend, Gojo, but never to you his lost forever.

You remembered all too well how it was before. The time before he completely lost his mind and the kindness in his heart.

You blamed him for ruining himself. You hated the path he chose. So much for nagging his best friend, Satoru, for acting too righteous. Now, the irony that he deems himself like a God who seeks death to everybody but himself.

But he doesn't know all that. All he knew is what hes seeing right now.

Suguru watched you subtly press your lips to a thin line. You stood tall, inches away from him, your heel gooed up with red irony smell substance.

Suguru fears that he can't read your face.

The love in your eyes he used to stare greedily looks empty. Yet, he can feel you drilling deep on the entrance of his soul.

You move closer to his bleeding form, his arms clutching the toll he took from Yuta Okkotsu's attack. It's quite impressive he survived this far.

"(Y/n)...", he started.

"I fucked up big time this time"

Then silence.

You didn't answer. It made him nervous.

The quiteness dragged on for minutes. It feels like an hour.

Fuck...He loathes every bit thats happening. He feels like vomiting from the feeling of the unknown-the doubts made by silence.

He is not even sure what to do or what to say. Where is he even going to start?

' I wasn't suppose to hurt us' Are you even gonna buy that?

'I love you so fucking much please forgive me' Will you even forgive him after all these bullshit or even

'Did I loose you already?' A desperate cry that could allow him to know how you feel?

"Frankly speaking...", you broke his silence. Sugurus eyes pathetically lit up.

"This is not the last meeting I'd expected to have with you"

His mouth fell agape.

"Last meeting?" Suguru piqued, he lets out a bitter knowing chuckle. His eyes leaving yours to look down on your bloodied shoes.

"Trying to kill me now?"

You continued to look down on his wilting form, walking slowly to close the distance between you too, crouching to his height. You put your cursed infused right hand on his chest.

"Suguru...", you softly whispered. So gentle it's breaking him.

He's losing his mind. He can't bare to face you or even hear your voice calling him. The shame from what he did to the both of you is killing him. And, with the way you look at his face, he...just wants gone.

"Did...I really loose you already?", he swallowed eveything he's feeling. Slowly lifting his hanging head to look on your eyes.

With death knocking on his door he finally sees you. The emptiness he saw was a lie. It was not emptiness, it was a lost longing. You're still there, waiting. The loving woman he promised his days forever. All he want to do is make you happy...but he lost it. Sugurus eyes started to water.

"Will you at least curse me?", he shakily asks. Holding your hand that lays on top of his chest, a few skins and bones away from his red beating flesh. The cursed eneregy burning a few minor cells.

"I loved you more than anything in the world, Suguru..."

#jjk fics #jjk one-shot #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen scenarios #suguru x reader #geto suguru #geto x reader #jujutsu kaisen spoiler #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen angst

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ssirenah · 8 months

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It's your journey; there is no "right" or "wrong."

I was thinking to myself recently, and I realized something that helped me the most, not only when I followed loa, but also now with nondualism and spiritually. I will add sections, there are different parts of what I want to say here.

There is no "truth."

I know bloggers and I have said a lot of different things- "release the ego," "stop 'doing' and just be," "stop misidentifying," etc. But I want to ask you, angels, are you following what speaks to YOU? I have always been a "you don't NEED to 'do' anything to achieve Self" believer, but other blogs may or may not have the same view as me. Why do you think that is?

It is because there is no truth. Nothing is true at all, by itself. Things appear true to Self because they are being the way they ARE, whether it is "favorable" or "not favorable." Remember what I said in this post, nothing is "doing" anything, it is simply BEING as it was "imagined."

Take this mathematical statement - if you have a closed interval [r,s] and a value between that closed interval, t, it is certain that between the r and s, there was a point where the function was exactly equal to t. (This is called the IVT, or Intermediate Value Theorem).

To explain further, let's say Mary arrives to school and enters her first class of the day. She knows she has a fire drill that day. At the end of the day, Mary goes outside to wait for the school bus, so she can go home for the night. Between Mary getting to school and her leaving school, there HAD TO HAVE BEEN A TIME where the fire drill occurred/was true. It didn't happen the entire time, but it happened at SOME POINT. This can go for other parts of her day - lunch, break time, class A, class B, etc. There were several points in the day when each of these scenarios were TRUE. But they weren't true for the entire DAY. This is what makes nothing true. Something cannot be true unless it is constant and unchanging. That's why Self is the only truth, it never "goes away" and never "changes." That's what I mean when I say that the ego doesn't exist, or that the character, circumstances, even these words, don't exist. Only Self does.

This explains why, perhaps, if you try and affirm with a goal of making something else true, it feels resistant because you are doing something that is impossible. There is only Self, and by trying to make some other scenario or existence true, you are trying to make yourSelf true...but you're already true...so...?

In this sense, you could also think that everything is true because YOU are all there is.

Follow YOURSELF.

I want you guys to be honest with yourself as you read this. Ask yourself if this- am I doing what Ssera is describing here?:

Are you reading so many blogs and overconsuming to the point where you're confused and don't know what the right thing is to do? Are you having a lot of resistance? Do feel like you need guidance or the 'key' to make eveything work?

If yes, here is my message for you: You need to take time off of reading posts and just follow what YOU "think" will work for you. If you think letting things unfold naturally will work for you, let things be. If you think shedding the ego will work for you, go in that direction. If you think nondualism isn't working for you, find what does and stick with it. If you like self inquiry, go for it. Disbelieving? Go for it. Law of assumption? Go ahead! Law of attraction? Ok! Void, shifting, scripting? Whatever works for you!

I would like to add, if someone feels like something isn't working for them, don't yell at them that they're giving up or being lazy. Sometimes people need a push, but sometimes it's worth it to let go or give up if it seriously isn't going anywhere. There is a difference between letting go and thinking you can't do something you want to.

Read this post by gorgeous Lilith ><

And here is a quote from that exact post:

"This isn't Neville's, Sammy's, Edward's, or even my reality. IT IS YOUR REALITY! There is no such thing as an "ultimate truth" or "method" for manifesting/reality shifting, as the ultimate creator of your reality you decide every single aspect of your reality, not Neville, Sammy, Edward, etc...Stop listening to people to find an "ultimate truth" or "method" don't even listen to me or other bloggers on this community, find your own truth as the creator of your reality. There is literally no "objective truth" everything is subjective based on your beliefs and whatever you are conscious of." -quoted from @consciousnessbaddie

"Find your own truth as the creator of your reality."

It literally explains itself.

If you don't agree with any of what I just said, don't make it your truth! If you don't agree with the books in Ada's drive, with other bloggers, with teachers, instagrammers, youtubers, don't make it your truth! That's all there is to it!

The "goal" for all of this was always to find your truth and reconnect with your true, powerful self.

Don't listen to "others," if they don't resonate with you, and honestly "others" are only there to point you in the direction of yourself!

Love you all, mes Lumières! <3

#consciousness #non dualism #non duality #nondualism #nonduality #awareness #follow yourself

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saninthebuilding · 1 year

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"i want to walk this path with you"

summary: in which you have reached your breaking point after one too many hits from the universe, and jungkook is there to help you get back up

wc: 2.1k

warnings: swearing, emotions, angst to fluff, hurt/comfort, self-deprecating thoughts, mentions of family issues, an allusion to su!c!d3, rough head-space, verbal abuse-ish, mentions of weight and self-image, best friends to lovers, jungkook is the best-friend-turned-partner alive

a/n: honestly, it's a self-indulgent long fic that i wrote for myself because these days haven't been too good. the fact that he went live today really boosted my mood, and this fic really shows how much of a lifesaver he is for me. without him, i don't know what i'd do. my life literally revolves around him. he is everything to me.

a/n 2.0: edited and wc updated!

today was not a good day.

when i woke up this morning i could already tell something was off. as if the universe were a chess player looking down at my pawn on the board, contemplating whether or not they should knock me down today, only to cackle aloud and tip me over.

and i had been right.

nothing had seemed to go my way today. my insecurities surrounding my image finally resurfaced due to the ongoing conversations my friend group has been having about weight and eating habits and fashion trends. my parents had been making it worse for the past few weeks, one day berating me for eating too much and the next scolding me for eating too little.

or really just yelling at me for random stuff every now and then. it was as though the stress they were dealing with at work (and from my younger brother who made it his life mission to make everyone miserable on a daily basis) was being taken out on me all the time.

of course, i couldn't forget the overflow of assignments and classwork i had to finish on a daily basis. with little to no motivation, it was proving to be really hard to start one thing, let alone complete everything.

and then there was fact that i was starting to feel more out of place in my own skin as the days went by.

it was like everything was too fast and too loud and too bright, but at the same time too slow and too quiet and too dull. it was as if one second everything mattered a little too much, and then suddenly nothing mattered at all.

at least there was no one around to witness me crumbling. my parents had left for a business trip earlier, and my younger brother was out with his friends. being a senior in high school, they had deemed me capable of looking after him for a few days, not knowing it was only adding more strain on my shoulders.

soon, i could feel the build-up of the multiple things i had been facing start to erupt, so when i stepped into the kitchen to try and make myself a quick dinner, i wasn't too surprised to find out that me dropping my bowl of ramen on the floor was my last straw.

then again, i suppose it had been a little too hot.

staring down at the now shattered china, my eyes watered as i took in the noodles splattered across the tiled kitchen floor.

"at least i didn't put too much broth this time" i choke out in an attempt to make myself feel better in this empty house.

it didn't work.

i felt the tightness in my chest grow, fuled off all the emotions i had been hiding for weeks now, begging to be let out. the pinching in my throat was unbearable as i felt the unavoidable onslaught of tears blur my vision.

please.

i give in.

sinking down to my knees by the mess of noodles and broth and china, in the daunting quiet of this house that no longer felt like a home, i heaved a shuddering breath.

and i cried.

sobs racked through my body with uncontrollable force as my tears streamed down my cheeks and into my lap. my hands began to shake, and i pressed my palms to the tiles, taking advantage of their ice-cold feel. my chest hurt to the point where i couldn't breathe, and i wasn't sure why eveything sounded so loud all of a sudden.

a shrill buzz jolted me out of my daze, and i sniffled, turning my head in its direction.

my...phone?

half-crawling, half-dragging myself across the kitchen, i pulled my phone off the counter.

i let out another sob seeing the caller id.

kookie

it was as if he knew.

i pick up as i try to get my breathing under control.

"jungkook" i whisper, my voice coming out shaky and strained.

"y/n?"

i let out another sob hearing his voice, quiet and concerned and oh so soft.

"hey, hey, what's going on? are you alright? where are you right now?"

he's panicking, and i hear rustling from the other end which tells me he's throwing a hoodie on.

"...in my kitchen" i mumble, eyes going back to my now-unedible dinner.

"just wait for me," he breathes, "i'll be there in 5 minutes. i'm gonna stay on the line, but just wait for me, ok? can you do that for me?"

"mhm."

i hear a door slamming, and then heavy footsteps.

suddenly i realize how late it is- around 11:30pm. the fact that jungkook is leaving when it's this dark, that also to come see me, starts to worry me.

"kook it's really late. what if-"

my anxiety must have been evident in my voice, because he's instantly calming me down.

"baby, i'm perfectly fine. i see your house ok. i'll just use the spare key in your garage. i'll be right there."

my heart skips a beat at the pet name he occasionally uses for me. i'm sure he means it as a term of endearment, but it's hard to control myself when i've had feelings for him since we were kids.

and to make my situation even better, he's my best friend.

i let out a choked laugh at how i was crying one second and smiling the next.

"what's wrong? are you ok?"

although his voice comes through the phone, i suddenly hear muffled jangling of keys from the other side of the door, and a lock clicks open. i lift my head to the entrance, and see jeon jungkook standing in my doorway.

he takes in my defeated state, and the hand clutching his phone slowly slips down from where he was holding it to his ear, arm hanging loosely at his side.

he's silent, and i stay where i am, still crouched on the cold tiled floor. my eyes drift to his flushed cheeks and heaving chest, before noticing that his hair looked fluffier due to having faced the wind on his way here.

he's so beautiful.

"oh y/n" he whispers, before kicking his shoes off and rushing towards me. he drops down to his knees in front of me, before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me to his chest.

i cling onto him, biting on my bottom lip to keep my sobs under control as the tears start falling again. his hands are rubbing up and down my back, before he pulls back to hold my face in his hands.

"what happened?" he asks, voice shaky as i see his own eyes glistening. "who did this to you? what's wrong? talk to me, baby, i'm here now."

"i'm so tired jungkook" i whisper, the words twisting my gut. "i'm so fucking tired and i don't know how to fix it."

his fingers brush away the salt water streaming down my cheeks, and his face is mirroring the pain i feel in my heart.

"i've tried everything, i've done all i could for everyone in every possible way but it's never enough. nothing is enough, and it's only now that i realize that it will never be enough. i don't even know what they want from me anymore, jungkook, i-"

i let out a sob, and he instantly pulls me into his arms, rocking us gently. "shh y/n, i've got you."

"-and my parents keep yelling and my brother treats me like shit even though i try so hard to make sure he doesn't end up like me, and all anyone's talking about is their image and i'm so uncomfortable with myself, and then school is even more stressful-"

"hey, no no no, y/n, you're not-" jungkook tries to butt in, eyes wide and wet, but i just shake my head hard.

"it's too much jungkook" i plead, voice cracking, "it's too much and i don't know how much longer i can take it."

at this jungkook freezes, staring at me in what seems to be fear. a tear slips down his cheek, and i feel my heart break even more when i realize that i'm the reason he's crying.

"oh no, jungkook" i whisper, and this time it's me that wipes his tears, "please don't cry, i can't see you cry because of me."

he sniffles, rubbing a hand over his face and then over my own, before helping me stand up. holding my hand, he pulls me behind him as he grabs the broom, and keeps holding it as he shoves the mess on the floor into the dustpan and then the garbage. i grab the mop, still clutching his hand in mine, and swipe down the leftover broth that was still on the floor.

placing everything back, jungkook stands with me in the middle of the kitchen, quiet. i keep my gaze on our entwined fingers, unable to meet his gaze.

it's the first time i've broken down this bad in front of him, and i was afraid of what he would say next.

i don't know what i'd do if he walked away from me too.

eventually he breaks the silence.

"how long?"

startled at the serious tone of his voice, i look up to see him staring at our hands. his jaw is clenched, and although his eyes are still shiny there's a sharpness in them.

"...a few weeks now" i whisper.

he's silent again, but this time when he looks at me his gaze is full of anger- for me.

"and your self-hate?"

i wince slightly, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"...long before that. it kinda just overflowed today..."

"did i..." jungkook swallows hard, as though the question he were trying to ask was hurting him.

"did i make you feel like that?"

my eyes go wide- how could he even think that? i pull him to me, hands covering his own as i shake my head.

"what- no! no, never! kook, sweetheart, you-" i breath out, upset that he even thought he had hurt me.

"if anything you're the only thing that keeps me going."

as soon as i say this, it's as though something in his gaze changes. suddenly his hands are on my waist, and he's lifting me up like i weigh nothing. gently resting me on the kitchen's marble countertop, he placed both hands on either side of my hips, before shifting closer to stand between my legs. when he speaks his voice comes out strained, as his fingers grip the counter edge so hard his knuckles turn white. as if he's holding himself back.

"give me permission" he breathes, and as he tilts his head down to face me fully, i can feel my breath catch in my throat.

"give me permission, and i will make you forget every fucked up thing you ever heard and every cruel thing you ever faced."

the intensity with which he holds my gaze makes my heartbeat speed up, and i realize that there's an emotion in his eyes that wasn't there before.

he leans closer, gently pressing his forehead against mine and closing his eyes.

"give me permission, y/n and i will show you how much you mean to me."

i think back to all the times he was there for me, high or low, night or day. i remember how he didn't hesitate to drop everything and come over the moment he heard me crying on the phone. i take in the sincerity and love in his voice, the way he was so close yet still just far enough to ensure that i wasn't uncomfortable.

and the fact that i knew he would respect my space without a second thought if i said no.

"jungkook" i whisper, my voice coming out breathless.

slowly, i raise my hands to cup his face, and feel him tense under my touch, awaiting my next words.

it was him.

it had always been him.

and it will always be him.

because he is everything to me.

"kiss me."

jungkook opens his eyes, meeting my gaze as his fingers grip my chin before he turns his head sideways, leaning in.

i meet him in the middle.

his lips are soft against mine, his touch gentle, as though i were the most precious thing around. placing a hand on the small of my back, he pulls me closer so that i'm flush against his chest, the warmth radiating off of him calming me down.

he pulls away after a while but stays close enough so that we're still face to face.

"i love you so fucking much" he breathes, emotion dripping from his words and his touch and his gaze.

i wrap my arms around his upper body and hug him to me, burying my face into the crook of his neck. he instantly hugs me back, placing a soft kiss to my temple before resting his chin on top of my head.

"i love you, jungkook."

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aspoonofsugar · 1 year

Text

Some Thematic Lore

So, here comes this volume's climax. It is probable the next 2 episodes are going to be packed with revelations, which will clarify several things, theme-wise.

As for now, though, here comes some little things I noticed and some theories.

CORRUPTED GIFTS

RWBY's journey in the Ever After seems to lead the 4 girls to meet characters, who embody the Gods' gifts. Or to better say their corruption.

The Curious Cat embodies the desire for Knowledge, which is clearly driving them crazy. They need to know everything, which means they will never be satisfied.

The Rusted Knight embodies the desire for Creation, which doesn't let him move on. Jaune needs to be a hero to function, which leads him to stagnate and keep others from evolving.

Neo/Jabberwalker embodies the desire for Destruction, which ends up breaking herself, as well. She needs to have someone to hate not to collapse and the moment she breaks Ruby can becomes an empty shell.

I wonder what will happen with Choice tbh. Is this gift gonna get corrupted too? And how? Is choice meant to be the Blacksmith/Tree? Or something else?

In general, it is interesting how all these characters are driven by a desire for a certain gift. Curiosity, a wish to protect, a willingness to break. They aren't the gifts, but are fueled by a desire for them. A desire that when left unchecked and not balanced by the other gifts can consume a being.

AFTERANS AND GRIMMS

CC: I need to know eveything. But more than anything I need to know why my makers left me here only to leave and make all (of you)

The CC is clearly envious of humans, just like the Grimms are said to be. Both Afterans and Grimms appear to be previous Creations made by the Gods, which were then discarded in favour of humanity, a perfect mix of both brothers.

The difference then is that Grimms are said to be a product only of Destruction, while the Ever After and Afterans seem to be unbalanced toward Creation. After all, the Ever After is called like this because death supposedly doesn't exist. People don't die in this realm, unless you happen to meet the Jabberwalker, who seems to be together with their acre the only product of Darkness in there.

It is interesting to consider and it clearly mirrors the unbalanced relationship between the Brothers. It is easy to imagine how Light would want a world centered around his own gifts, while leaving Darkness with the shortest end of the stick. A single acre.

That said, if the Tree is meant to work as a metaphor for the Cycle of Life, then "death" and "destruction" need to fit into the picture.

THE JABBERWALKER

Despite only having 2 episodes left, there is still some mystery surrounding this creature and their role in the Ever After. They are said to be the only creature, who can prevent ascension. In short, they are an embodyment of Destruction. Still, if they are a part of the world, it is possible they still come to the Tree, in a way or the other. So, here comes a thought.

The Tree is going to transform Afterans according to what they are and to what they want to become. This can lead to progression, like the Paper Pleasers or to regression, like the Red King, who turns into a Prince. Still, what happens if the creature just... can't figure themself out? What does happen if they choose to give up on any new possible identity?

In this case, they would choose to become nobody. They would decide to give in to anonimity, which is the opposite of self-individualization. Anonimity is a trait of Grimms, which are empty and try to fill themselves by praying on human negativity. In short, anonimity can be seen as a declination of Destruction. So, what if when Afterans can't figure themselves out... they end up becoming a Jabberwalker? Or what if the Jabberwalker is a body that collects all the souls who could not properly ascend, neither to regress nor to progress? A body with no proper identity, which can only jabber very basic and instinctive concepts, with no real meaning behind them?

After all, they very clearly allude to zombies, as RWBY even start calling them Walkers. And what are zombies if not people who lost their sense of self? And what do zombies do if not to spread an infection, which in this case is Destruction? Death?

THE GIFT OF HUMANITY

Humans are different from both Grimms and Afterans in how they are a more complex mix of Creation and Destruction. As a result, they seem ot have a gift both Grimms and Afterans lack, which is choice.

Humans are not given a purpose, but can choose their purpose. Afterans need the Tree to change, while Humans can simply choose to change. I am curious to see how this difference is gonna influence the outcome of this volume.

#rwby #rwby volume 9 #rwby spoilers #rwby meta #my meta

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