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#their own way of how things work (including how “they” work) is the most important thing to them
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#9 and #25 w/ Otis ?🫢🫠
Of course! Thank so so much for the request and as usual my apologies this took so long! The prompts requested for this one are as follows:
Prompt 9: "Run" Prompt 25: "Fuck you"
For future requests the prompt list is HERE
Notes: Minors DNI, No Specific descriptions of reader or pronouns are used.
TW: Canon typical violence, Otis Driftwood is pretty much his own trigger warning so just use your own discretion please <3
"Fuck you!"
You spat at Otis from your spot on the landing of the stairs. He fixed you with an incredulous look from his spot standing at the top of the stairs.
"Baby you better watch your goddamn mouth when your talking to me"
You rolled your eyes at him, you had been here long enough to know that when it came to you most of what Otis said was empty threats. You made Otis soft, something that Baby thought was absolutely hilarious.
"No Otis! Fuck you! You always do this shit to me. You get my hopes up and then get wrapped up in 20 other things"
You were angry with him because once again had he promised to you that he would take you out somewhere special and then when the day came he had gotten busy with 20 different things, half of which included his own "Projects".
"Bunny I fuckin' told you I don't know how goddamn sorry you want me to be. I have important shit I gotta do"
"I'm tired of being second in your life Otis"
You bit back a smile, your plan being employed. You knew how to get Otis where you wanted him. The only person in the entire world who knew how to work up the killer without becoming one of his victims.
"Sugar don't start with me"
"No Otis, I'm tired of it! If you won't do anything about it then maybe, maybe I'll just go find someone who has time for me then"
You saw Otis stiffen at your words. A thick tense fog of uncertain emotion falling between the two of at your standoff on the stairs. Hook, line and sinker, you got Otis exactly where you want him.
"The fuck did you just say to me?"
"I said maybe I'd just go find a man who'd give me his time"
Otis spat out a laugh as he slowly began descending the stairs toward you.
"Fine, If you think I don't have time for you I'll fuckin' show you time. Run."
As fast as the word had come out of his mouth you bolted. You breeze through the living room and out the front door. You heard Mama from some where behind you scolding Otis for the running in the house as usual when the two of you were up to your antics.
You shot out of the house and crossed the yard into the brush and trees. Though you knew deep down your attempts to flee were fleeting, Otis would catch up, he always did but you didn't care all too much. You wouldn't have it any other way.
The tall grass whipped against your legs as you ran through it. You dodged under tree limbs and over top of fallen trees until you found a small clearing with a large stump almost smack in the middle of it.
You sat, perfectly in the middle of the stump and waited for Otis. Yourself, presented to him like a gift as you stripped off your shirt and pants and leaned back onto your hands as you waited for him to appear in the brush.
Within a few moments there he was, standing between the trees that surrounded the clearing. His eyes raked up and down your body as he approached you, taking his time to make sure he took you in as much as possible.
You grinned up at him, taking a lip between your teeth.
"Is this enough time for you?"
Otis remarked as you stood from the stump to meet him halfway, Gently moving your discarded clothes off to the side as you stood.
"You know I wasn't actually that mad, It's just frustrating when your so busy and I wanna spend time with you"
"Yellin' at me ain't the way to fix it though"
"But it's the only way you'll hear me. Well, except when I'm like this"
You said motioning to your bare body, Otis smirked as he reached to place his hands on your waist to pull you closer.
"I'm a hardheaded motherfucker aren't I?"
"Otis Driftwood, you are the most stubborn man I've ever met"
"But you're still here aren't you?"
"As if I'd actually be allowed to leave"
"That's right, You're mine. Even if you left I'd hunt you down to the ends of the earth"
"I wouldn't wanna leave"
You whispered to him, despite the fact you were the only two in the clearing. You pressed your lips to his and he slipped his tounge into your mouth.
Otis pulled away after fighting for dominance of your mouth and smiled darkly at you.
"You know, I heard there's some bad men in these woods. You really shouldn't be out here naked like this. Who knows what could happen to you"
"mmm, bad men you say? what kind of bad men"?
"Men that would take advantage of little bunnies like you"
"That'd be a shame wouldn't it. You're not one of those bed men are you?"
"Oh sugar, I'm the worst"
You grinned up at him as you leaned in so your chest was against his still clothed one.
"Ya know, I was hoping you'd say that"
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analyzing hermes, emet-selch, the ancients and ascians, how they're written, and the fandom's reaction to them be like hm. emet-selch's role in this fuckery is compounded by the fact that his backstory as a genocide survivor is incongruous with his ruling a huge genocidal colonialist world power in the present da [ANTISEMITISM BLAST]
#ffxiv#ffxiv hermes#emet-selch#i have Posts in Me to write up about the subject but like you can maybe immediately start connecting some dots here lmao#hermes and the ancients lie at the intersection of A Lot of Shit That is Very Important to Me#the vast majority of it having to do with gaslighting in various different forms#one of those posts is going into how his story reminds me eerily of what Questioning Things in an abusive evangelical environment is like#and how the fandom instantly jumping straight to OH SO YOU THINK THE ANCIENTS SHOULD HAVE BEEN GENOCIDED IS THAT IT#YOU THINK THEY SHOULD BE INFANTILIZED AND CIVILIZED BY THE SUPERIOR MORALS OF YOUR OWN CULTURE IS THAT IT#and start throwing around words like 'sympathizer'; if you say 'hermes was right about some shit actually'#'what we see of the ancients' society is full of inexcusably horrific shit which does not get a pass for ~different values~'#smacks strongly to me of evangelical crybullying in the name of Cultural Sensitivity#and how people use 'well it's not my business what other cultures think is right or wrong' as an excuse to throw up their hands and#disengage from actually learning about or supporting the people in those cultures who know and are working within it to fight bigotry#amazingly enough 'racism and misogyny and queerphobia are bad' is not an idea exclusive to western cultures lmfao#your job if you engage is to seek out those people--across the spectrum of opinions and relationships to their culture's issues!#they're not a monolith!--and spread that information; and listen to what they ask of you when they tell you what kind of help they need#but that's complicated; and takes time and care and thought and effort and connecting to marginalized people#talking over activists and victims of the societal issues they live with; and telling them they're the same as colonizers; is easy-peasy#like i cannot stress enough here that hermes Is an Ancient. He Lives Here. He Knows His Society and Thinks About It a Lot#He Wants to Salvage It and is Specifically Fucked Up About Feeling Like He Can't Trust People Around Him for Input#WoL doesn't barge in and start telling the ancients what's what; they find the person who Cares and back him up that he's not crazy or alon#anyway there's a lot here but it is uh. a Lot. the ways in which the game blends up christianity and judaism here.#including the fact that between the two; the default cultural values and dynamics align more with christian associations of Conformity#(the game is by japanese creators and i feel like that's A Factor too; but there are Eerily Accurate evangelical things going on here)#and people cape for the ones who are Most Evangelical about it + the one whose Compelling Aspects are all antisemitic as fuck tropes#whereas the brown guy who grapples with his faith and worldview; who questions and challenges and argues with others in his ethnoreligion#and tries to look for perspective and deeper meaning + Improve Society Somewhat; gets torn apart in the worst faith possible by the fandom#ffxivtag#warning: worm grass
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bat-the-misfit · 1 year
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I will always remember the day I was explaining my uncle why I typed him as an ENTP and when explaining his functions he said "oh no I think i'm way more this Ti thing than the Ne thing INTP makes more sense to me"
and he kept disagreeing with me for like half an hour AND HE KNEW NOTHING ABOUT MBTI WHILE I KNEW A LOT AND KNEW WHAT I WAS SAYING
and that whole discussion just showed me why i was exactly right in typing him as an ENTP
#the fact he knew nothing about it but needed to see how “right” i thought i was just show his Ti and Fe are auxiliar and tertiary#like his Ti-Fe were dancing with each other at that time#his Ti wanted to question me for it to make logical sense to him and distrust other person opinion (Ti>Fe)#while his Fe wanted to interact and question so he could see my way of viewing him#(also my reactions and if i could maintain my point of view)#like wow uncle the way you're trying to prove me how INTP makes more sense to you just shows me how much of an ENTP you are#INTPs use inf Fe they wouldn't be willing to listen to me bc that would kill their Ti#their own way of how things work (including how “they” work) is the most important thing to them#if he was an INTP he'd criticize me and show every evidence (Ti-Si) of how wrong I was#ENTPs will always prefer questioning first#INTPs wouldn't QUESTION you they right off the bat disagree with you bc Ti dom-Fe inf#other people's opinions being CORRECT will kill their Ti and they don't want that#ENTPs use tert Fe they LIKE the challenge of someone disagreeing with them#they don't oppress their Fe they LIKE knowing about other people#also by being Ne doms they really like new ways of seeing things#THEN they will use Ti to see if it fits their internal logical system#and they might even ignore it (Ne-Fe loop)#that's why ENTPs are seem as argumentative they really like questioning people and their views#having someone disagree with them will make them want to know why you think so#INTPs having someone disagree with them will make them really offended and defensive#oh also the fact my uncle didn't mention any concrete fact to prove his point of view just proved his inf Si#INTPs will ALWAYS use Si to prove their Ti's point of view#they always bring data and facts to the table while ENTPs will just play with ideas and possibilities of why they're right (Ne)#well that was my How To Differentiate the xNTPs 101#that conversation was so fun i laughed so much internally like “omg i was so right about him”#well aNYWAY#tio morcego tá tagarela#it's so funny how high Ti users might not know anything about a subject#but they still think they're more right about it than someone who knows a lot about it#i know not everyone is like that that's just my experience with high Ti users
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i have no respect at all for the approach to political debate that relies on out of context/limited context quotes from singular, often reified historical figures as some sort of trump card. i find it so childish and also deeply stupid. you are not being serious and i’m not going to treat you as though you are. lol
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thedreadvampy · 2 years
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male gaze is not 'when person look sexy' or 'when misogynist make film'
death of the author is not 'miku wrote this'
I don't think you have to read either essay to grasp the basic concepts
death of the author means that once a work is complete, what the author believes it to mean is irrelevant to critical analysis of what's in the text. it means when analysing the meaning of a text you prioritise reader interpretation above author intention, and that an interpretation can hold valid meaning even if it's utterly unintentional on the part of the person who created the thing. it doesn't mean 'i can ignore that the person who made this is a bigot' - it may in fact often mean 'this piece of art holds a lot of bigoted meanings that the author probably wasn't intentionally trying to convey but did anyway, and it's worth addressing that on its own terms regardless of whether the author recognises it's there.' it's important to understand because most artists are not consciously and vocally aware of all the possible meanings of their art, and because art is communal and interpretive. and because what somebody thinks they mean, what you think somebody means, and what a text is saying to you are three entirely different things and it's important to be able to tell the difference.
male gaze is a cinematographic theory on how films construct subjectivity (ie who you identify with and who you look at). it argues that film language assumes that the watcher is a (cis straight white hegemonically normative) man, and treats men as relatable subjects and women as unknowable objects - men as people with interior lives and women as things to be looked at or interacted with but not related to. this includes sexual objectification and voyeurism, but it doesn't mean 'finding a lady sexy' or 'looking with a sexual lens', it means the ways in which visual languages strip women of interiority and encourage us to understand only men as relatable people. it's important to understand this because not all related gaze theories are sexual in nature and if you can't get a grip on male gaze beyond 'sexual imagery', you're really going to struggle with concepts of white or abled or cis subjectivities.
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4theitgirls · 2 months
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building my rebrand
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getting my money right
one of my main goals right now is to get my money right and save as much as i can. here are some things i am focusing on:
getting a job with lots of opportunity for growth
picking up as many shifts as i can
trying savings challenges on pay days
spread out spending on wants; want something for at least 2 weeks before considering buying
meal plan and buy groceries for those meals rather than buying random things
fill gas tank full when possible rather than filling a little at a time
sleep schedule
my sleep schedule has been off for a little while now due to stress and sickness, so i am focusing on going to sleep at a reasonable hour and around the same time every night and waking up at a reasonable hour and around the same time every morning.
healthy body, healthy mind
taking care of the physical body helps not only your physical health and wellness, but the mental as well. here are some ways i am working to take better care of my body:
some form of exercise per day, even if it’s just stretching
stay mindful of the nutrients in your food, including vitamins, protein, sugar, and fat
stay mindful of water intake and try to drink as much as possible
when sitting or lying down, do not stay in one position for too long. shift and move around regularly.
taking care of your looks
while this may be a bit controversial, it’s important to take care of your appearance, even if it’s in your own way. not only will you make a good impression on others, but you will feel more positive and confident about yourself. some ways i am doing this are:
researching good skincare products and staying consistent with a skincare routine
hair oiling at least once a week
avoid super oily or sugary foods
again, stay hydrated!
strength training and cardio
if you wear makeup, make an effort to find the best style for your face shape
know your body shape and undertones and how to dress accordingly
mindset
arguably the most important part! your mindset is everything, as having a negative mindset can ruin even the best experiences for you. constantly reminding yourself of your power and worth among other things is crucial for everything else to fall into place.
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starsworldd · 6 months
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬-𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐚𝐱𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬
PLEASE READ:
long post - thank you for 2k! i apologize for the wait but this took me a longggg time to prepare.
it’s also important to note that planets in taurus/scorpio will effect how you resonate with the interpretations below
reminder that readings are open! i’m now selling persona chart readings of planets/angles as well
take with a grain of salt
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1st (scorpio) - 7th (taurus)❤️: relationships are a source of comfort and wisdom. scorpio risings’ experience of reality has to do with trust, hard truths, and taking back your power but their relations with others often bring a sense of peace and value into their lives. people may perceive you to be useful and smart in these similar qualities as well. your partnerships help to balance out the chaos and even insecurity you face at times with your identity and precense in the world
2nd (scorpio) - 8th (taurus) ❤️‍🔥: you are powerful in your resources/skills and in the way you support yourself overall. in this lifetime, how you find worth and appreciation for yourself and what you have (skills, physical resources, etc…). you may feel suppressed or face much controversy for what you value or for how you choose to support yourself monetary-wise or as a person. your biggest comeback story in life may have to do with self-esteem and with how you accumulate worth and value (physical or moral/mental) into your life and goals.
although there may be much turbulence and important realizations/truths that are found in how you support yourself and your goals, the transformations and scary things you face in life ironically enough can bring you lots of support if you choose to make good use out of it (which taurus is naturally good at). of course, this is the house of fears and traumas so a big part of your life story may include building your own sense of independence by learning from times of distress.
3rd (scorpio) - 9th (taurus) 💋: you could be especially sensitive to input from others and be able to pick up undertones and double meanings from others easily. communication, creativity (especially having to do with hands or written words), is your superpower. you grab others’ attention easily with your stories and artistic output when you learn to harness your fears/limitations effectively. this also makes you very intelligent of your community + gossip because scorpio rules over extremes as well
while in your everyday communication and daily life you may uncover and discuss skeleton’s in other people’s closet and may be doing a lot of activities that use a lot of your energy (scorpio is ruled by mars, planet of action), this makes you very comfortable (taurus) in being able to adapt to different environments and perspectives (9th house). having taurus in this house can make someone very wise because they find value and meaning in variety.
4th (scorpio) - 10th (taurus) 💄: people with scorpio in this house have usually had some sort of significant event or trauma regarding their family or childhood or may have regrets as to their actions in the past. these people could be born out of either extreme poverty or wealth too. these people’s sense of safety/privacy can be very important to them or they could feel like this aspect of their life is being compromised often (mars = conflict) but you could also find safety/comfort in curiousity or things that are “off-limits”.
if the private/emotional life of the native is exacerbated and transformative for them the career and reputation for the native is where they feel appreciated and most creative. having these signs in this house-axis can be indicative of a strong comeback story (extreme poverty to extreme wealth or even the other way around). the career-field can be very fulfilling (emotionally or monetary wise) and where you are grateful or feel lucky for the events your work presents.
5th (scorpio) - 11th (taurus) 🌹: feelings of creativity, romance, and happiness are taken to extreme lows and highs throughout life. if you’re a cancer rising, i believe this is where the “moody” reputation for us comes from. like leo rising, there could have been significant changes or revelations during childhood that changed your way of deriving happiness and familial support. these people may crave for luxury and overindulgence and can do so by turning their pain into power. scorpio in this house can make someone very grateful as well.
if our sense of happiness and luck undergoes significant change and gives us our “comebacks” throughout life, the 11th house is where we have already found peace and prosperity with our place in society. we encounter valuable experiences when polishing our individualism (5th) within our community (11th). we can find personal contentment and growth in accepting our individual, unique role amongst the people around us. you may like to surround yourself with confident people as well.
6th (scorpio) - 12th (taurus) 👠: these people can feel very unlucky or trapped throughout life, with the 6h ruling bad luck + burdens and scorpio relating to extremes. scorpio is a smart zodiac i’ve noticed as well, so these people usually have a certain way (especially that requires much energy) of doing their work and job that could defy others’ expectations. extreme focus on a certain obstacle or insecurities is also possible and can take awhile to finally figure out what makes you feel secure and satisfied with how you manage your burdens.
if your everyday burdens and responsibilities test your strength to the max in this lifetime, your imagination, creativity and solitude is where you find peace. it could also be that these people do unusual things to satisfy their need for pleasure and wholeness, because the 12th house is where we are easily misled. these people are internally comfortable with their thoughts and ideas, regardless of how odd they may be because it takes them to a place of stability from their scorpio 6h.
7th (scorpio) - 1st (taurus) 🍒: these natives’ partnerships/commitments make the native have to look more deeply into their underlying intentions or feelings with said partnerships/commitment. this can bring a lot of disturbing but also very eye-opening and insightful experiences that affects the native’s identity and ambitions going forth. scorpio can also be a curious sign so there can be a little bit of investigative or persistent approach to your partnerships and this is where your power can derive from.
it may seem like your partnerships “destroy” parts of your identity, because you approach the world from a sense of wholeness and peace. at least, these are circumstances that you are ambitious to achieve in your life. pleasure and steadiness are big life themes and at first it may seem like life is rather dull or boring, but similar to scorpio in its opposite function, taurus asks us to dig a little deeper into the simpler things in life and to find enjoyment.
8th (scorpio) - 2nd (taurus) 🍫: when dealing with other people’s problems (financially, intimate connection, debts, etc…) it brings about experiences that require you to fix what’s wrong or holding you back in life in rather uncomfortable ways. this can indicate someone who is afraid to acknowledge psychological blockages or who lacks the necessary bravery/instincts to attack underlying problems. you could earn valuable assets (tangible or not) from others when you engage with activities that are “gross” but healing/heroic.
this native survives on feeling complete. having a sense of wholeness is very important to these people and makes these people very resourceful because they are able to make the seemingly mundane valuable and able to work in their favor. these people are good at feeling in control of their life, future, and choices because they are committed and secure in their abilities. these people place much importance on authenticity, diversity, and self-sufficiency.
9th (scorpio) - 3rd (taurus) ❤️: when achieving mastery/global knowledge, and self-discovery it may have to do with bringing up topics that you ignored or swept under the rug especially having to do with your identity/precense (in context of the world and society). your global approach and experiences have to do with dealing uncomfortable topics in order to achieve better awareness and understanding of all aspects of the world. how you navigate foreign environments and your sense of flexibility is your strength.
if foreign experiences provide you with strength through perseverance, your intuition and familiar environments provide you with strength through growth (tangible or not). although it may seem like the everyday social rituals and ideas (including intuition), can appear mundane, this setup of houses gives an opportunity to grow a garden that provides roots, beauty, and good taste in the way you perceive and express yourself local environments.
10th (scorpio) - 4th (taurus) 🪭: these people have to have a ton of intiative when working in their career and towards their big goals in life. it may feel as though these people have to start from a bad hand of cards (compared to everybody else) in order to make it to the top or that their working conditions and/or responsibilities throughout life may feel difficult to complete or deals with high stakes/status. but even though there are difficult tasks they have to be done and you have drive/resourcefulness to do it!!
if the workplace is where you see the thorns in your garden (where you have to get rid of them) your home life and condition is where you see the roses. taurus is good at being able to attract good circumstances for themselves because taurus is very representative of wholeness and the feeling of completion. there’s probably more opportunities for you to setup and manage your domestic life the way you like. wisdom may be found through your domestic life too.
11th (scorpio) - 5th (taurus) 🧨: your surrounding communities/people who support you seem to try to pick you apart. you may feel as if the people who you’re around with don’t actually support you or that there’s something incomplete or “wrong” with the circumstances and people that made you successful, imposter syndrome possibly? your supporters/friends could show you things you couldn’t see before, likely for the better although they may reveal this in dramatic or difficult circumstances.
if you feel incomplete about the people/circumstances that support your public achievements, your creativity and lust for life is where you find contentment. these people feel most stable and appreciated for their talents and way of enjoying themselves. for these people, they find stability, growth, and satisfaction when they engage with activities that bring them happiness. they find beauty and appreciation from others for their self-expression/creatvity.
12th (scorpio) - 6th (taurus) ♠️: your drive to feel complete is what can you mislead you in life. this may be because you feel as if there’s always something missing or not being to shown to you but you are persistent in finding what that something is. this same energy can make the native very wise because they have to overcome their demons over and over again throughout life. but at the same time, you could also feel like your sense of resourcefulness and strength fails to manifest in reality.
if there’s conflict/determination in trying to protect yourself from things that induce bad energy, then there’s likely to be tranquility and acceptance in doing activities that can put your life back on track. the 6h is known as the house of bad fortune in astrology so these people are good at being able to find the most reliable way out of a difficult situation. and while these natives could be good at finding solutions, slacking off and overindulgence can lead to oversight with tasks.
once again thank you for 2k!
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hope you enjoyed🥰
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heartpiratedrabbles · 2 months
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Emotions
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Prompt: You leave an argument only to be Shambles back into a tense situation
NSFW
Trafalgar Law X Fem Reader
“Not now.” Law gripes out, gripping Kikoku as he brushes past you. It had been a long day trying to gather information, tracking down pirates to get their hearts. It was a big plan and it was taking longer than he’d like. When he came into his room, he hadn’t been expecting to see you there, arms crossed with a scowl on your face.
         “Then when Law? When will you have time to even talk?” Your voice rang through the room of the submarine as you follow him deeper into the room. He promised you 2 hours. 2 Hours that had come and went without so much of a word from him. You had been waiting in his office for most of the day before migrating to where you knew he’d end up so late at night, even Bepo had come to check if you were alright.
         You were beyond frustrated at this point, you hadn’t even been the one to suggest the 2 hours, it was Law’s idea after he himself realized how long it had been since the two of you had been alone. You weren’t even fully expecting him to stop his work entirely, whenever he was on the ship he’d be looking over maintenance or other work that had piled up, and you thought maybe he’d just let you be with him while he shuffled through it all. It was certainly better than the past couple of months where he’d banned anyone from bothering him unless it was important.
         Fixing up Straw-hat had really shook him, and while he tried not to show it, you knew he was throwing himself into being busy non-stop to not think. Keeping everyone at an arm’s length, even kicking you out of the bedroom the two of you had shared for so long.
         He made it clear he wasn’t breaking up with you, but honestly at this point you had little faith in anything, he couldn’t even keep his promise to spend some time with you, the promise he made of his own accord.     
         “Just leave me alone.” His short and curt words were getting on your nerves. You wanted to be understanding, he had a lot on his plate, but you can count the times you had talked to him over the past month on a singular hand, and that was including this awful interaction. He set his beloved sword down, leaning it against the wall by his bed while he shrugged off his coat. “We can talk tomorrow,” He glances at you with a furrow in his brow, hands gesturing you up and down, “About whatever it is,” He grumbled some more unintelligible words out at the end but all you could hear was ringing in your ears.
         Your chest heavy as you tried to take a shaky breath in while turning away from your captain. You didn’t see his head perk up in concern at the noise of your breathing, nor did you see him notice the tears springing up at the corner of your eyes. “Fine. I’m going out tonight.” You tried to sound confident, not wanting to show him a weak side, but your voice came out wavering and weak.
         “What? It’s already midnight. The only thing open are pubs.” His voice was a little harsh as you started making your way back to his door. You didn’t drink often, but your throat was beyond dry, and the banging in your head from heavy emotions was getting on your nerves. You didn’t even bother to respond to Law as you reached for the door. “You’re staying here tonight. That’s an order Y/N.” Law stood up, annoyed and angry, not understanding why you were acting this way. It was out of the norm for you, and Law couldn’t handle anything not normal right now.
         You heard his words, a tear escaping as you felt something boil up inside you into a weird calm compared to how cold and alone you felt moments prior. “Then think of a punishment for when I get back,” Your tone low and even as you stepped out into the hallway, making your way to the deck.
         Law watched as his door shut, there wasn’t a slam nor was it left open. It was eerily normal how you had closed the door and it sent a shiver down his spine. First you yell at him the second he gets back, nearly crying and telling him you’re going out drinking and now this? He couldn’t make sense of the sudden mood changes but it unnerved him, getting on his nerves easily. You had openly ignored his orders, you knew how cruel his punishments could be, cleaning the bathrooms by yourself for a month, only using a rag to clean the entirety of the deck, even re-organizing all the medicine before having to do it again in another ludicrous way.
         Law stood there in the middle of his room, frozen as his mind raced. His own chest tugged at him and felt tight as he thought about you going off to drink somewhere. By yourself at that, everyone else had either found a pub already or were asleep, maybe you’d find some crewmates? He felt a lump in his throat form as time was ticking, he couldn’t place the emotion he was feeling and it angered him more than anything else.
         Your throat felt tight, but seemed to loosen with the cool night air as you walked closer to the edge of the ship. You could see some tavern lights on from where you had docked and gripped the railing as you stepped onto the gangway placed for convenience. But just as you were going to continue you felt a familiar breeze rip through the air, before you could even blink you were shoved against a wall in the room you had just left a couple of minutes prior.
         “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” The angered voice gritted through teeth as a forearm shoved your chest further into the wall, another hand gripping your hip.
         You blink for a second to get your surroundings before your own anger unravels, “Trying to go out for once. Captain.” The venom hitting Law as you hardened your glare up at the taller man. His face becoming tight at your wording, the only time you’d call him captain was in front of others, it was his own demand at the beginning of the relationship, but behind closed door you never uttered the title.
         You watched as his eyes raced over your face, emotions slowly changing at the recognition of what you had said. You didn’t move, didn’t try to get away, you just stood and stared back up at him with an unmoving face. His fingers digging deeper into your hip before he bared his teeth, “Disrespecting my order.” It was the only thing Law could muster out, not wanting to point out the hurt he felt, “What were you expecting?”
         You attempt to suck in a deep breath, calming your mind before responding, “Didn’t realize I was trapped on this vessel Sir.” Your eyes never moving away from his, ignoring how the arm just over your chest was starting to restrict your breathing slightly. “Thought a couple of drinks and some fresh air might be nice considering how long I’ve been aboard.” The lump in your throat forming again as you try to even your voice out again.
         The hard line you were attempting to draw between Law and You was getting on his nerves, he’d barely heard your second sentence, too focused on you refusing to call his name like normal. He peers down at you, your hardened face-tinged red from anger. The tension in the air thick enough to cut. Law feels a growl erupt from his throat as he grips your face, tilting your head up before forcefully taking your lips.
         You feel the grip on your hip tighten again as you’re taken aback by the sudden motion, gasping before feeling his tongue snake into your mouth. Your mind heavy with anger, but head swimming from the kiss. You attempt to fight the urge to kiss back but give up, instead wrapping an arm around Law’s neck forcing him closer as you fight his tongue with your own. Your other hand pulling at his hair harshly while you attempt to explore his mouth.
         The hand on your hip loosening just enough to venture around you, gripping your thigh as you instinctually jump up, pressing your chests together, his other hand supporting your back as he walks towards the bed. The attempt to throw you down fails when your legs tighten around him, refusing to relinquish his lips or hair from your grasp. You feel a huff from him as he throws the both of you onto the mattress, teeth hitting each other as you tighten you grip on his hair.
         A couple of tears escape your eyes, and you aren’t sure whether it’s from lack of air, or your emotions. Law takes the initiative to pull back from the kiss, a harsh bite to your lip as he pulls away, eyes opening to see him staring at you still. He narrows his eyes at you, “What did you call me?” The hushed breathing and low tone of his voice giving you whiplash on what you’re feeling.
         The anger of wanting to knock him upside the head and walk away while the pleasure of staying and filling every desire in your mind, “What?” You snapped out, barely hearing him talk. Your arms are loosely hanging around him, your hand stinging from how tight your grip was on his hair earlier, before he repeats his words slowly, a leg hiking higher up to nestle itself against your crotch. Eyes tearing into your soul as you actually comprehend his words. You scoff a bit, fighting your body from grinding down for some wanted pressure, “Captain, Sir. That’s what I called you.”
         His eyes turn dark and an unpleasant scowl appears on his face a hand quickly wrapping around your neck as he veers closer to you. “Y/N.” He growls out staring a hole through your head, “Say my name.” It finally ticks in your head what’s going on and you can’t help but to feel a little better getting him angry.
         Tightening you arms around him to bring him in for a subtle kiss, glancing down at his lips before looking back into his eyes, “That would be disrespectful… Captain.” The hold on your throat tightens a bit before he bites at your lips, trailing down you jaw as he draws closer to your ear.
         “Disrespectful...” He tch, leaning back to stare down at you, taking in the sight as your hands falls back around your head. A euphoric feeling washing over you as the pressure around your neck increases. Your eyelids hooding over while your mouth falls open slightly, your fingers hooking around the blanket underneath you. The small gasps escaping you while your head becomes light and heavy at the same time. The snarl on Law’s face transforms into a smirk, “I see how it is.” His voice still low as he releases his hold on you, watching you squirm slightly to catch your breath, “You’re enjoying this.” He gestures slightly, his knee rubbing against you again before he unzips your jumpsuit.
         The heavy gasps as your brain starts to think again, your body tingling as his hands brush against your now exposed skin, stripping the suit off your arms, “Cap-tain~” The smallest whimper coming out before he snaps his head back up to you.
         “Still with that?” He leans down clearly annoyed at your insistence, peppering kisses against your stomach leading down. Your hands go to cover your breasts, while you hush yourself from any noises you were letting out subconsciously. Your hips rotating as the rest of your clothes are taken off leaving you bare.
         Your knees and thighs coming together in the little amount of time Law is no longer between your legs. “That is your title after all,” The hush tones leaving your mouth as you see Law glare at you. His hands running up your legs, brushing against your sensitive areas, glancing up to see you hold back.
         “Is that how you’re playing?” He growls towards you, the touches making your body shiver as you attempt to keep eye contact with the one towering above you. You nod slightly, and just as you’re about to say it again he grips your wrists pinning them above your head as he slams his lips against yours again, biting enough that you taste blood.
         You groan into the kiss, pushing into the feeling while he slips a leg between yours, hooking one of your own around his hips.  A quick pull of your leg catches him off guard as he falls on top of you, just enough that you can feel the tent in his own pants.
         “Y/N.” He breathes out, his eyes begging you to call for him. When he realizes you won’t stop this game of calling him captain, he rips away from you. You let a frustrated moan escape you before quieting down, not wanting to give Law a sense of control here. “If I’m your captain even here,” His words drawl out, his back turned towards you while he walks towards a chair in the corner of the room, “Then you can come and please me yourself.” He sits down, unbuttoning his shirt before leaning back and staring at you from his spot.
         You lean on your elbows, staring at the man in front of you with anger boiling in you again. “Excuse me?” You bark out, not believing the sight in front of you. Law glances up and down, a smile playing on his lips as he sees your anger rise.
         “Well? Your Captain told you to please him.” His taunts making you all the angrier. He shifts his legs, leaning his head against a hand while watching to see what your next move will be, “Are you refusing an order Y/N?”
         You grit your teeth. This isn’t what you wanted, you wanted him to get angry enough to ravish you into oblivion. The satisfaction of annoying him enough to play into your hand feeling greater than the anger you felt earlier in the day.
         He taps his fingers on the arm rest while he stares at you. He’d never been comfortable with exerting power between the two of you while alone. Yet here he is, pushing your buttons as you bite your own bruised lip, thinking of your next move. “Well?” His singular word rang through the air, pissing you off even more.
         Sitting up, shooting a glare at him. Your swollen lip between your teeth throbbing before you let out an anguish sigh. Law lets a chuckle out as he watches you make your way to him, straddling his legs while wrapping your arms around his neck. Kissing his neck gently while rotating your hips.
         Law stares down, watching the movements your body is making, holding a curse as you push his shirt off his shoulders, dusting kisses over the skin of his chest before coming back up. Raising your hips so your breasts are right in his face, you can hear him take a breath in.
         His hands go to the back of your thighs, pulling you closer as he takes a nipple in hi mouth. Your hands run over his scalp. His hands going inward, spreading you apart as a finger traces your entrance. You feel the bastard grin into your breast as he quickly shoves two fingers in, your hands going to his shoulders to stabilize yourself, the tug of skin between his teeth when you arch your back slightly.
         He releases your nipple, now sensitive and cold in the air before glancing up at you, “Already so wet for your captain.” He curls his finger inside you, hitting a spot that made a moan escape you. You attempt to sit back down, but his hands hold you up, fingers sinking deeper into you at your movement. He takes your neglected nipple into his mouth, sucking and flicking the bud until it’s hard.
         “L-Law,” You let out, body shaking slightly.
         He scoffs looking up at you again, “Now you want to play nice?” He stands up abruptly, you wrap you arms around his head, expecting to fall but instead smother him in your tits while his grip on you keeps you up. His fingers still pumping inside before feeling the mattress once again.
         You bounce slightly while you look towards Law who has a dark look in his eyes, “What happened to calling me Captain?” You watch as he unbuckles his belt, whipping his dick out while he stares down at you. You don’t respond as he grabs your legs, pulling you to the edge of the bed, lifting one of your legs to rest on his shoulder.
         You let a whimper escape when you feel him rub his tip against your clit, “I’m not going easy on you.” His warning tone hits you as he leans forward, the stretch of your leg as he gets close to your ear, “Think of it as your punishment for leaving.”        
         Your own mind to shrouded in pleasure to remember why you left at the moment. He takes your lips before sheathing his entire length inside you, once again he takes the opportunity to shove his tongue down your throat, your eyes rolling in the back of your head.
         He moves a hand back to your throat, enjoying how your tongue spasms while trying to gasp for air, the brutal pace stretching around him. Your moans only muffled by his own mouth before he hits the bundle of nerves inside you, sending a wave through your entire body. He pulls back, releasing his grasp to look at your panting body, simultaneously relaxed and twitching.
         Looking down briefly before pulling out, quickly flipping you over, lifting your ass up to plunge back into you before you could even think about what was happening. One hand going down to tease your clit while the other snaked around your throat, pulling your back against his chest while he nips at your ear and neck. “Who am I?” Your mind numb when he pulses a squeeze on the sides of your throat.
         He does a rougher thrust into you, letting you moan out before he asks the question again. Your eyes lull to the side, seeing him out of the corner, “L-Law.” You moan out, your hands going to support your self and the arm around your front. He lets out a satisfied hum into your neck, his movements becoming gentler.
         You catch up on your breathing right as he moves his hand away from your neck. Your own hands going to his arm, pushing it back, “Law, please~” You surprised moan takes him back for a second.
         He spins both of you around, sitting on the bed with you on top, feet trying to get a hold on the bed frame as he continues to fuck up into you. One arm wrapped around your waist while the other was still being held to your neck by you. “And why should I do what you ask?” His question dips a bit, a nip on the back of your neck sending you to cloud nine.
         “I’m- so close,” You pant out, sweat covering both of your bodies as you admit the heat building inside you, “Please, Law. I-“ You let out another breathy moan as his hand returns to the spot that deprives you of air.
         The weightlessness you feel becoming overwhelming as you feel the erratic thrusts. You arch your back, Law moving his hand up to your jaw, twisting your face to meet his, drowning out the moans while your body pulses around him in a death-like grip. You feel him groan before holding you down with the arm around your waist.
         The subtle grind of your hips milking him empty, feeling his chest heave against your back before catching your breath. The room humid and hot, Law’s hair stuck to his forehead with sweat before he shifts onto the bed, pulling you down with him.
         His head rubbing into the nook of your shoulder while he hugs you close, “I’m sorry.” The muffled voice shook you as you melted into his touch, “I forgot about our date.” His stern yet weak voice sounding like an angry kitten as he refused to let you go.
         You hum in agreement, “Didn’t realize you knew what you did wrong.” You shift your body, trying to get his softening cock out of your abused hole to enjoy the needy cuddle from the man below you. Instead, his arms grip you tighter, a small thrust into you to keep you in place.
         His lips pushed further into you, more of a means to muffle himself, “Figured it out along the way.” You huff out slightly at his pouting, once again trying to get loose.
         “I won’t leave Law, but it’s hot and we’re both sticky.” He murmurs to stay put a little longer as he turns to his side, bring you with him. It can’t hurt to indulge him a little longer.
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biboomerangboi · 19 days
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My friend was watching the show for the first time and they brought up a misconception that I think we see a lot in fandom. So I want to talk about The Gamblers Den and specifically this scene in particular:
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My friend genuinely wondered what Hua Cheng would do and then when they heard his explanation they were even more confused:
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They basically messaged me saying, wait Hua Cheng would have made the bet. He bets people’s lives and some how Xie Lian is okay with that. How???
And to anyone else who’s thinking the same thing or falling for the Demon King vibe Hua Cheng is trying to sell here I am here to tell you, you have all been duped.
What’s import to understand is that Ghost City actually came from making one of Xie Lian’s ideas work:
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Xie Lian is talking about a specialised market here, a place where the common people couldn’t just stumble into without reason and that’s what Ghost City is and The Gambers Den is the foundation of it. While Xie Lian didn’t say hey go gamble, Hua Cheng is taking a risk and playing into his greatest strength and then showing of for his crush is the most dramatic way possible when talking about it.
For Hua Cheng the house always wins! Literally. Or at least what he wants the bet to be will always happen. His luck is just that good. If the gambler wins it’s genuinely because Hua Cheng let him.
In the Den he is acting as Judge and Jury with Xie Lian as his moral code but he can’t just turn down the deals. If he does then these people could go to less safe options (looking at you Qi Rong) to get what they desire which negates the reason he built Ghost City in the first place.
Hua Cheng has to let these people play by his rules if he wants to follow his Gods wishes. So he has to be creative and look at loop holes, phrasing and Xie Lians most important teaching finding the third path.
For this moment specifically giving the options I think Hua Cheng would have taken the 20 years of his daughter’s life. Why you may ask? Well the phrasing is easier to manipulate. While the eradication of his competitors is pretty well laid 20 years of his daughters life is pretty vague.
Option 1) Hua Cheng could take her away from her shit father and put her in an apprenticeship and marry a man of her choosing since her hand is now her own to decide since Hua Cheng doesn’t want it.
Option 2) She has to work in Ghost City for 20 years and is married to Yin Yu in name only (because Hua Cheng can’t have a wife at all or he won’t win Gege) then gets pleasantly divorced and giving a severance payment after 20 years.
Option 3) He could decide life is a vague term and after she dies she has to spend 20 years in Ghost City and matchmake a future marriage between her and another ghost.
Option 4) He could decide what she has to do with the next twenty years of her life which could include an actual good marriage and education. Where she has to worship his shrine and be only his devotee for 20 years.
Option 5) He can literally say I’ll collect when I decide and never cash in.
He can do anything because the wording is so fluent and for Hua Cheng debater and Civil God Killer it’s probably easy. He’s not a demon king, he’s a crafty trickster spirit basically a fae lord.
He’s playing the system and he’s winning that’s what Xie Lian figured out and why he supports it. He knows Hua Cheng well enough even back then to trust that he would make the right decision because he believes in Hua Cheng and he’s right too.
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halemerry · 9 months
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So there’s understandably a lot out there examining the painful/emotional parts of this season, but I just wanted to take a second to acknowledge something really important that is a bit... maybe not lighter in tone but something worth celebrating.
Because like, even if he seems a bit directionless and frustrated, Crowley actually is pretty happy this season?
He’s making progress. He’s letting himself have things he wouldn’t have ever before - even if it's not exactly the thing he wants the most. He's letting himself be himself. He's not censoring instincts and impulses to nearly the same degree and it's actually pretty remarkable.
Like, okay, yes, Crowley is pretty lost now that he exists outside the toxic structure he has been operating under for millenia. And, yes his safety net with Aziraphale and the structure they operate in has also crumbled a bit because so much of that structure was built around what they were and weren’t allowed to safely do within the toxic structure. But, I actually do think this season does a lot to show that even if this struggle is very real and has consequences that aren’t all objectively good, freeing himself from that structure is a net good.
He smiles more. He laughs more. He sprawls more. He seems generally more physically relaxed and comfortable trusting his instincts without having to check everything he’s doing or saying against Hell. And this state of existence isn’t dependent on Aziraphale being present either. It’s just him being him and becoming comfortable with what that means.
And it wasn't a snap your fingers bam you're better situation either. It takes work and time to break old instincts. I mean, years have passed and we’re still struggling to let anyone say that we are nice. But significantly his instinct isn’t to snarl or physically lash out. It’s to roll his eyes or half heartedly object or maybe throw in a light growl for old times sake. And, sometimes, the instinct is to grin like a self satisfied loon as you contradict the nice human who implied you were nice.
Crowley is now in a place where his impulses to be kind are things he’s allowed to give into now and, even if he’s doing so under a veneer of snark and sneer, he is letting himself do that. He’s making sure the people around him are caring for ducks properly. He’s admitting he was worried about Aziraphale and cooing at his own car. He’s apologizing for accidentally locking people into coffee shops and openly helping them get out without even stopping to think about how maybe doing so might clue them in that he’s not quite what he seems. He's helping Shax learn her way around earth, even when she’s actively working against him and Aziraphale.
Even when interacting with Jim, who brings out the most of Crowley’s negative reactions and masks, his instincts are just as often to be gentle as they are to be angry. So long as Jim isn’t actively setting off alarm bells in Crowley’s head Crowley is so patient with him. He explains gravity unprompted and proceeds to include Jim in on his planning to get Nina and Maggie together. After his initial explosion at Jim’s presence the next two are immediately followed up by him getting upset and then backing off of Jim. He starts to threaten Jim when he’s reminded Aziraphale is in danger and then nearly immediately backs off of that, acknowledging there’s no point in it. And then, of course, after he nearly talks Jim into jumping out a window and pressures him into extracting more information from his brain he feels guilty enough to then offer Jim an act of care and service. It's such a stark difference from the guy we see even this season needing to put a layer between himself and anything good he does by either denying thanks outright or putting the blame on being under some influence.
And it’s startling how much we see him smile this season and how many different versions of that we get. From the genuine delight on his face when he thinks Operation Lovebird is working to the pleased little smirk he gives Aziraphale through the window when he watches him bring order to the arguing angels and demons in his shop, to the little smile of familiarity when he wonders what happened to Mr Dalrymple - Crowley smiles a lot compared to the first season. And it doesn't matter where he is either. He has a delightful time in Heaven, snickering and grinning to himself nearly the entire time he's prancing around there. And that’s not even getting into his dorky little snort laugh that pops up a few times throughout the season.
And I just. It’s so nice that this show doesn’t want to deny that what Aziraphale and Crowley are doing is hard but also that it doesn’t want to wallow in that struggle either. It never wants to frame that what they earned at the end of season 1 has doomed them but it isn't afraid to show the speed bumps that the system they were in is causing them on their way to happily ever after. They’re allowed to be happy. They're allowed to struggle with getting there. This is allowed to be a good thing for them, even if it sometimes takes work.
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weasleykisses · 7 months
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Never His (Remus Lupin x Reader)
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A/N: when James needs help asking out Lily, he enlists you to play his fake girlfriend to make her jealous. In the process, you end up making Remus Lupin green with envy.
18+ Version Here
Word count: 6.2k
You weren’t expecting James to throw himself into the chair across from you in the library, his face holding the most desperate of looks. He brushed his messy hair back from his forehead as he got situated in the seat. James looked like he had run all the way across the school to find you. You raised a brow, peering up from the textbook on the desk that you were trying to study. Remus turned to stare at his friend as well, taking a break from his own reading. 
“Y/N, I need your help. It’s super important.” That could mean a lot of things, you thought. He was known for being quite the drama queen after all. 
You replied smoothly, “I’m afraid I’ve got to hear the terms and conditions before I agree to anything.”
“Be my girlfriend,” James said bluntly. This took you by surprise. Your jaw fell slack, looking at him as if he had two heads. Was he insane or just incredibly stupid? What the hell happened to his obsession with Lily Evans? Since you met the boy in third year, he hadn’t shut up about the beautiful redheaded girl. She was certainly a catch too, with her looks and her brains. Who wouldn’t want to be with a girl like that?
You could feel Remus sit up straight as a board in the seat beside you, staring over at James with his eyes narrowed. The change was barely noticeable. James probably missed it; he was never very perceptive. You, other hand, noticed. Of course you did. You noticed everything about Remus. He was like a novel you had read a million times, comforting and familiar. Anything out of place, you took notice of. 
You could certainly feel the tension coming off of Remus is waves. He never liked when James and Sirius fucked around with people for the hell of it. It wasn’t that he was a stick in the mud or anything, it was just that he hated when those two disturbed his peace with you. Hated it. Couldn’t he spend a few hours away from them? Enough time to appreciate your company?
Cautiously, you asked, “James, have you gone mad?”
He shook his head, eagerly reaching across the table and clasping both your hands between his, shaking them with excitement. “No, I have not! I’ve actually come up with a brilliant plan, but it will only work if you agree to help me out,” he said a bit too quickly, and you furrowed your brows, still awfully confused by the entire thing. 
Remus was silent, just observing. He was angry, how could he not be? You were his girl. Well, not really. He had never asked you out, or implied he wanted you to be his girlfriend. But everyone knew that he liked you, maybe not you yourself, but everyone else. This included James. He should know better than to ask you out, especially right in front of him. It was cruel.
He wanted to argue with his best mate, James. Give him a shove in the shoulder and tell him to fuck right off. He refrained though. He wasn’t that bold, nor did he have the right to control what you did with your life. He wasn’t your boyfriend. He wouldn’t ever be your boyfriend. He just had to keep his mouth shut. 
“Mind explaining then, Prongs?” you asked, pulling your hands from his grasp to cross your arms over your chest and leaning back in the chair.
“Be my girlfriend, just for a couple weeks, maybe a month. I’ll do anything you want if you help me out.”
“Why would you want me to be your girlfriend for any amount of time?” you scolded him. 
“I want to make Lily jealous. The only way I can do that is showing her that I’ve moved on to other girls, but I don’t actually want to date anyone else,” he said, “You’re one of my best mates, and I don’t have to worry about you catching feelings for me like the other girls would.” He cracked a grin when you rolled your eyes at his cockiness. James wasn’t ugly, but he also didn’t have girls falling over themselves to be with him like Sirius did.
“Oh, thank Godric. I thought you actually wanted me to be your girlfriend.”  
“Of course not. You’re like a little sister to me,” he laughed.
“Anyway, what would I have to do?”
Be my fake girlfriend for a month and I’ll buy you anything you want. We only have to pretend when we’re in front of other people, especially the girls. It’s basically fool-proof.”
“More like foolish, you dumbass,” you sighed. It wasn’t the worst proposition, considering James and his family were rich as fuck. He really could buy you anything you desired.
Remus was pretending that he didn’t care, his eyes trailed back down to the novel in his hands. James was just up to no good again, nothing out of the ordinary. He was hoping you would decline James’ request, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. You were great friends with James, and were usually willing to help him out in any way you could. He hated that he had to sit there and listen to you discuss plans to date like it was completely normal. 
“Please, Y/N, please. You're the nicest girl I know. You gotta help a friend out,” he begged.
Just shut the fuck up, James. Remus thought to himself. He would never say it aloud though. 
“Fine. I expect half of Honeydukes inventory as compensation, but I’ll do it,” you told him with a heavy sigh. He punched the air enthusiastically then hugged you so tightly around the middle that he lifted you from your chair and swung you around in his arms. He was quite strong from being a dedicated chaser, after all. You laughed nervously, pushing against his shoulders so he would set you back down. “Really, it’s no big deal. I’m doing this because I think you and Lily would be cute together, alright?” You told him.
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied swiftly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Sit next to me at dinner today. We’ll play it up then, make it public.”
“Okay.”
He turned around after giving you one last thumbs up, rushing out of the room to no doubt tell Sirius about his plan. They did everything together, so of course Pads would either figure it out himself or find out after James caved and explained himself. You took a seat again in the wooden library chair, sinking down with your hand pinching the bridge of your nose. 
“I don’t know why you entertain him,” Remus finally commented. He sounded bitter, but you figured it was just because your study session was interrupted. 
“No harm done. I get a bunch of candy, he gets one step closer to the girl of his dreams,” you reasoned, resting your cheek in the palm of your hand. 
If you were being honest, you wished that it was Remus asking you to be his girlfriend, but Remus didn’t care for you like that. You were just friends. Both of you enjoyed your quiet time together, whether you were reading or drinking a cup of tea. You liked to go to Hogsmeade together and drink butterbeer in a booth, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. It was something the other boys weren’t interested in. You could try hanging out with Lily, Dorcas, and Marlene, but they would always drift off to talking about boys, James in particular.
Remus just had a way of keeping your attention, entertaining your curious mind. You two had become so close over the years because of it.
You were the one that snuck into their dorm on nights after the full moon, healing potions in your pockets and bandages at the ready to clean up his injuries. You didn’t mind that he was a werewolf, in fact, you thought it was pretty interesting. It compelled you to work harder in your studies to be a healer, so one day you might be able to lessen his pain. Needless to say, you really liked Remus. He was handsome, tall, positively dreamy, and oh-so-sweet like honey and sugar. He was one of a kind, and you would be lying if you said his determination to stay just friends didn’t sting a little. 
But the world keeps turning whether or not the boy you fancy likes you back. You tipped your head down again to study the text in front of you. Studying was especially hard now that you couldn’t think of anything other than James asking you to be his girlfriend before you mustered the courage to ask Remus.
______
The next time you saw James was at dinner that evening. You sat beside him after he waved you over. Normally you would sit on the opposite side with Remus flush against you to make room for everyone else at the table. Today, Sirius sat beside Remus and you took Sirius’ seat right beside James. He slung his arm around your shoulders to get you closer to him. 
The brunette practically pulled you into his lap with how eager he was, and you yelped, garnering the attention of the other boys at the table. Remus scowled, turning his head down to glare into his soup. James didn’t have to be so dramatic. Lily would get the point without all the theatrics. 
In fact, Lily was sitting at the other end of the table with her eyes trained on you and James. She looked a little perturbed, and when James turned to glance down the table, she quickly turned her head away, pretending she wasn’t at all interested. Real smooth, Lily. 
You knew Lily liked James, at least a tiny bit. She talked about him far too often not to. You were in a few classes together, and James was a frequent topic of discussion. While Lily would never admit to her crush, she hinted at it here and there. It was a similar situation for you and Remus, who you vehemently denied having a crush on for a few years now. Lily was probably shocked to see you in the arms of someone else. 
You played it up for the crowd, people from the surrounding tables looking at the both of you and whispering amongst themselves. Y/N and James? How scandalous. 
Your hands were clasped together, fingers intertwined and sitting between you on the table for everyone to see, and it disgusted Remus. Sirius was practically gagging at the sight of two of his best friends being so openly affectionate, but at least his disgust was jokingly. Remus was genuinely disturbed. He wanted to leave the dining hall and head right to his dorm for the night, just to avoid the pangs of betrayal assaulting his heart.
He ducked his head to take a deep breath, trying to pretend like nothing was wrong. That James and the girl of his dreams openly acting like a couple wasn’t completely tearing him to shreds.
He figured Sirius caught on to how he was feeling because the black haired boy turned to him with a sympathetic, half smile, as if to say “what can you do?”. 
“I missed you today, babe,” your voice dripped out, oozing with fake attraction. A sickly bright smile crossed your lips as you looked at James. Even worse so, James leaned forward and gave you a kiss to your cheek, and it didn’t even phase you. Since when were you and James so close? Even with the two of you playing it up, Remus never expected you to be so casual about it. It was like flirting with James came to you so naturally.
The pair of you laughed together and faked lovey dovey smiles here and there. It seemed to work too, because after only about ten minutes of PDA, Lily was packing her belongings and marching right out of the Great Hall with Mary following closely behind, most likely to console her. James grinned even brighter at that and pumped his fist in the air. 
“I think it’s working,” he said happily, and you nodded. You still had to hold hands, to keep up the image for everyone who didn’t know it was fake, but at least you could chill out a bit without her around. You sipped on the baked potato soup in front of you. 
“Working a little too well, don’t you think? What if she gets so upset that she moves on from you completely?” Remus asked, rather grouchy as he did so. He felt so sick to his stomach, unable to take another bite of his dinner without his inside churning. 
He decided he was done with his dinner after looking up to his two friends all cuddled up with each other, deciding he had better things to do than endure this torture. He packed his bag and stood. You watched him stand, and quickly followed, gathering your belongings just as he did. 
“Rem, wait up. Where are you going?” It wasn’t like him to leave dinner so early. You figured something was wrong. Your worries were only confirmed when he let out a long, exhausted sigh. You knew him too well to let him sneak past unscathed. 
“I just need to take a walk. Not feeling the best,” he lied. Well, technically it was true. He felt like shit, just not in the way he wanted them to think. 
Behind your back, you missed the look Sirius and James shared, that sneaky smirk coming to rest across James’ face. You also missed the way Peter snickered a bit under the cover of his hand. His friends were absolutely awful for doing this to him, but they thought it was the only way to wring a confession out of him. Hit two birds with one stone, as they say. Get both Lily and Remus jealous at the same time, hopefully uniting two perfect couples in the process. 
“Well, I’m coming with you. We can go take a walk in the courtyard.” He didn’t protest as you hurried to catch up him and his long legs, your robes flying behind you as you rushed ahead. Just because you were “dating” James didn’t mean you were going to ignore Remus when you thought something was wrong.
And so, you followed your tall friend out of the dining hall into the hallway, making a b-line for the exit doors heading into the transfiguration courtyard. He felt a little better knowing you were with him and not cuddled up to Potter anymore. He was incredibly jealous, not that he would do anything about it. He didn’t even have the right to be jealous either. He had to remind himself time and time again, you weren’t his. You never were and most likely never would be. 
It wasn’t long before the pair of you found your ways to a covered bench in the courtyard, sitting side by side, staring at the fountain in the middle of the snow dusted grass, looking into the pool of frozen water complete with golden coins preserved in the bottom. It was a muggle tradition that some students brought from home to the castle. They’d throw a coin in and make a wish, hoping it to come true.
There had been a few times you tossed a galleon in there, begging Merlin himself to give you what you wished for most in the world. The boy sitting right beside you, in fact. You had been making those same wishes for years now, and each time you were let down. Remus never asked you to be his girlfriend, nor did he kiss you in the rain like you always fantasied about. He hadn’t noticed the hints you would give him about how you felt, either ignoring them or choosing to be oblivious to them.
You cried many tears over the years because of your feelings for the boy. How conflicted you felt about confessing to him. You worried you would miss your opportunity and he would move onto another girl, but you also feared for your friendship. You didn’t want to make things awkward and lose him completely.
You watched the snowflakes as they fell around fountain, wondering what happened to all those wishes. Every wish you made begging to finally be his.
“Aren’t you cold?” he asked, looking down at your skirt and knee high socks, a thin slit between them exposing your bare skin to the frigid, snowy air. 
You shook your head, snapping out of your daze. “I’ll survive,” you laughed, pressing your forehead to his shoulder. “What’s on your mind?”
“Really, Y/N, it’s nothing.”
“The only other time I’ve seen you storm out of the dining hall before having dessert was the day Sirius put a whoopie cushion under your seat. You can’t lie to me, sweetheart.” He felt his heart pang in his chest at the nickname you always used for him. He wanted to be your sweetheart, to love and kiss you whenever he wanted. To hug you to his chest and profess his love into your ear. He wanted to hold hands with you during lunch, and to have you sit in his lap in the common rooms, regardless of who was around to see. He wanted everything to do with you.  He wanted to just drown in your soft words and your gentle touches.
 But he knew, just because you want something doesn’t mean you’ll get it. It felt like he needed you, to breathe, to eat, to sleep, to function like a normal human being. Maybe it was his naive 18 year old brain telling him these things, but he swore that he loved you more than anyone could imagine. He loved you from the tip of your nose all the way down to your feet. Every inch was perfectly tailored just how he liked it.
“Whatever it is, you’re gonna be alright,” you assured, nudging his shoulder gently with your own. For a moment, he forgot about the entire James situation and just thought of you, how you made him feel, and he did feel alright. He always felt safe when you were around. Even when he was his most vulnerable after a full moon, he trusted you to care for him. 
James didn’t know you nearly as well as Remus did. He knew it was stupid to worry about you catching feelings for the brunette chaser with a wicked grin, but he couldn’t help it. Not when he had seen girls flock to his two attractive best friends for years. He knew it was stupid, and he knew he should live in the moment. 
In this moment, he had you to himself. He could pretend you were his, all he ever wanted. 
“I guess you’re right,” he mumbled, fiddling with the strap of his bag. “You always know how to make things better.”
“Me? What about you? You always know just the right things to say.”
He wanted to say just how much he loved you. He could feel the words stuck in the back of his throat, and he just wanted to cough them up. You took his breath away, literally.
It was quiet for a long time, just the two of you sitting there quietly, listening to the chilly breeze flying through. Your hand rested beside his on the bench, your fingers close enough that if you moved a couple centimeters you would be touching. What he wouldn’t give to hold your hand in his and press kisses to your knuckles.
He needed you, and he was just so scared. Seeing you with James made him upset enough, but the thought of losing you completely made him feel worse. Your time at Hogwarts was ending soon, and he worried so much, overthinking every little thing.
He wondered if you thought about the same things. If you worried about your life when you graduated. Where you would go and what kind of person you’d turn out to be. He knew you spent a lot of time working on healing spells, assisting in the infirmary when you could. You wanted to be a healer at St. Mungos, saving people.
Maybe you could save him, too, keep his head above water when things got difficult. The life of a werewolf is never easy, and he couldn’t imagine what it would be like without you by his side to ease the pain.
“When we are done with all this- Hogwarts, I mean…You’ll keep contact with me, right?” he asked, feeling that familiar sickness churn in his stomach, afraid of what you might say. He knew you would never say something cruel, but he found himself preparing for it each time. He was afraid he would never hear from you again once you found a good job at the hospital taking care of patients, running around each day busier than the next. 
He felt the self-deprecation sneaking back in. 
You nodded your head furiously. “Of course! I would never forget about you, Remus, you know that right?” When he didn’t respond, you reached up to take both his cheeks in your cold hands. You ran your thumbs along the scars across his face ever so delicately, he felt like you were running a feather against his skin. He sighed into your touch, leaning his head into your hand. “You’re my best friend. Nothing and no one could ever take me away from you.”
Bravely, he reached out so his strong, calloused palm rested on your thigh, his fingers pressing warmly against that gap between your socks and your uniform skirt. Shivers ran down your spine at the touch. He was so gentle with you, it made your heart melt into goo at the mere thought of his touch. You were sure he could hear your heart beginning to race with how hard it pumped in your chest, how excited he was making you. 
“What did I do to deserve you?” he murmured, just loud enough for you to hear him over the wind blowing against your ears. 
“If anything, I don’t deserve you.” You ducked your head as you felt heat rush into your cheeks. “You’re perfect, Remus. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
After taking a deep breath, he started, stumbling a bit over his words, “Y/N- I have something to tell you.”
And you swore he was going to kiss you. As he stared down into your eyes, his eyes flickering down to your lips a few times. You waited for it, sitting there in anticipation, watching his every move. You felt his hand resting on your thigh, rubbing small circles against your bare skin. Goosebumps rose to the surface and you shivered more from the contact than the cold breeze whipping against your face. 
You were sure he was going to kiss you, if only the doors to the courtyard didn’t burst open with students barrelling through the doorways. Quickly, you pulled your hands down to your lap and he shoved his hand into his pocket. Your eyes trailed to the ground, and you mentally cursed yourself for being too slow, for not kissing him yourself when you thought the time was right. 
Maybe he didn’t intend to kiss you. Maybe he was confused and was just showing you affection to reciprocate your own. Either way, you felt a spark with Remus that you hadn’t felt with anyone else. The kind you think you’ll only know once in a lifetime. 
Whether you were fake dating James or not, you weren’t going to let that feeling go.
______
You two were the star couple of the party that night, standing in the middle of a celebration for Gryffindor, James holding a cup of liquor in his hand, and you carrying something fruity. He had his arm hooked around your neck, pulling you in close so his lips just barely skimmed over your ear. You smiled, finding the feeling of his skin against your ear and the breaths he was exhaling to be quite ticklish. 
Lily was behind you, watching from the corner as she sipped on something nonalcoholic. She was never a drinker, and that just made it all the more infuriating for her to see you two dancing so intimately while she was stone-cold sober. 
“I reckon she’s getting close to her breaking point, doll. You’ll be getting a shitload of candy once she approaches me about this entire thing,” he whispered and you laughed, nodding your head in agreement. Dating James wasn’t actually that bad. The only downside was that Remus wasn’t spending nearly as much time with you as before. Probably because you had to spend most of the day following James around to keep up the illusion of this whirlwind love affair. 
It hurt, not seeing your best friend. You missed his company. He was your favorite person ever, with his pretty eyes and his adorable smile. The way his sandy hair would fall over his eyes was effortlessly beautiful, and his sweaters made him look so intelligent and mature, two qualities you loved in men. James was unfortunately neither of those things. Perhaps that’s what made “dating” him so simple. There were no surprise feelings between you two because the things you each wanted in a significant other were completely different. 
You wanted a Remus in your life. Someone so handsome it had you swoon. Someone kind and soft and gentle around the edges. Someone with a sweet tooth and a pretty smile that you could stare at for days without getting bored of it. You loved to talk to him about anything and everything, he just made it all so interesting. You wanted someone who shared your love of books, candy, and peace and quiet. Remus Lupin was all of that and more. 
He was just so lovely. You wished he was the one you were dancing with and not James. You wished that it was his lips pressed to your ear, whispering sweet nothings to you instead of these nonsensical plans of making a certain redhead jealous.
He sat on the couch, talking with Peter about something that happened in potions that morning. He looked stunning with his face lit up by the flames in the fireplace. If only you could walk over there and take a picture, keep it forever, look at it whenever you were feeling down.
He glanced up at you every now and again, just checking. He never looked for very long though, turning his head down with a grimace on his face each time. Remus couldn’t stand the sight of you so intimate with someone else, even if he knew it was all fake.
But how was he supposed to know if you’d accidentally grown feelings for his friend over the course a few weeks. You’d gotten much closer, hugging and kissing on the cheeks and forehead quite often. You laughed when James told jokes no matter how stupid they were. You attended his quidditch matches, which you hated doing before this entire mess.
Remus was afraid you changed your mind somehow. That you now thought James Potter was someone you could see yourself dating for real.
He couldn’t handle the thought, feeling himself beginning to crumble. He tried to maintain the conversation with Peter, only to feel himself zoning out, eyes trailing over to you helplessly every time.
You wrapped your arms around James’ neck, dancing slowly at the song that played over the record player. “Are you okay with me kissing you?” He asked, “I think it’ll be the nail in the coffin to finish all of this.”
You pulled back a little, your face draining of its color. Did you want to kiss James? Not particularly. Did you really care? It was hard to say. You wanted to be kissing someone else, a certain boy on the couch, but that was out of the question. You and James were just friends, two actors trying to woo the girl he so desperately wanted. It was like acting in a school play. It was just pretend. Harmless, really. James had kissed tons of other girls before you. It was normal for him. 
You always kind of imagined this sort of situation with Remus. It stung a little to know that you would sooner have the chance to kiss James Potter as opposed to your actual crush. 
You peered over your shoulder for a second to see Lily looking absolutely taken with James, and then turned back to the boy in front of you. It was a tough decision, but you ended up nodding your head. “It’s okay. Nothing too dramatic, yeah?”
And with that, your quidditch playing, Lily-obsessed friend kissed you right in the middle of the bustling party. You lips pressed together and you shut your eyes so you didn’t have to look at him. He ran his hand down your cheek and over your jaw for a moment as he leaned in closer, really trying to make it look authentic. 
Thankfully, it was short lived because soon enough, someone else had grabbed your arm firmly and tugged you out of James’ clutches. You turned around to be met with a sweater vest clad boy glaring down at the two of you with an unimaginable amount of frustration in his expression. His entire face from cheeks to the ears was red, and his lips were downturned into a frown. 
“Rem-” you started, but he interrupted you.
“That’s enough,” he muttered, and you could clearly hear the hurt in his voice. James tried to make it better, claiming that it was all for show, that he should calm down a bit, but Remus wasn’t having any of it. “I think your little fake relationship thing has run its course, don’t you think?”
“What’s wrong, Remus?” you questioned, peering up at him with those bright e/c eyes he had come to adore, and had missed over the past few weeks. “James, you stay here. Remus, let’s head to the dorms,” you suggested, motioning with your free hand to the stairwell leading up to the boys’ room. You certainly didn’t want to cause a scene.
James nodded, brows raised when he looked at Remus, a small smirk on his face. You didn’t know what he meant by that expression, but Remus sure did, and he was regretting the day he ever confessed to the boys that he fancied you. He wondered if James had an ulterior motive by fake dating you; if he did it to make Remus jealous, because if that were the case, he most definitely succeeded. 
As you led him to the staircase, you noticed over your shoulder that poor Lily was walking over to James, her head ducked down shyly as she approached. James, as confident as ever, flashed a sparkly white grin and started a conversation as if it were the most easy thing in the world. 
Remus followed you up the stairs and into his room, which was empty considering everyone was downstairs partying the night away. You shut the door behind him, finally letting go of his arm so you could cross yours over your chest. He was tall, and you had to look up to meet his eyes, but he was never intimidating to you. Not even when he was angry like today. He was too gentle to yell at you, much less hurt you in any way. 
“Mind telling me what’s got you so upset?” You tapped your toes on the floor, the soft clicking noise ringing out in the quiet room, music from outside muffled by the heavy door. 
You didn’t notice the water that was beginning to gather in the corners of his eyes.
He thought for a moment, before a whisper fell from his lips, and you almost didn’t catch it. 
“Why did you have to kiss him?” he asked weakly, his voice suddenly a lot softer now that you were alone. A lot sadder, too. “Why did you have to kiss him right there in front of me?” he repeated, squeezing his eyes shut and he pressed the palms of his hands to cover them. He felt heartbroken. Absolutely crushed that you had kissed his best friend, that he had to watch as you did so. It was so casual, like it didn’t even matter to you, but it mattered the world to Remus. 
He felt he might cry. Tears bubbled up in the corners of his eyes and he tried his hardest to keep them from dripping down his cheeks. No matter how hard he tried, he found himself crying anyway. 
You were crestfallen when you noticed the tears running down his cheeks, a gasp coming from your lips. He was crying, and it was because of you. You had done this to him, your best friend, the guy that you supposedly had a crush on for nearly 4 years straight now. You’d never made someone cry; it broke your heart. 
You rushed up to him, bringing your hands up to move his, letting them sink to his sides. Softly, with the pads of your thumbs, you wiped away the salty tears running down his cheeks. He didn’t even shy away from your touch, he just let you wipe them away silently, not daring to look you in the eyes. His eyes were stuck to the ceiling, trying to blink away what he was feeling. You being so nice to him only made things worse. He felt like an ass. You could do whatever you wanted. If you wanted to kiss James, so be it. He had no right to be upset when you weren’t his. 
“Remus, sweetheart, it’s gonna be okay. Just tell me what’s wrong.”
It was silent for a moment as he thought of what he wanted to say, as you stared up into his teary eyes with concern etched across your face. It was getting harder and harder to pretend everyday that he wasn’t bothered by your presence when you weren’t in his arms, when he couldn’t freely touch you and love you, and kiss you silly until you were laughing with glee. It took so much effort to suffocate all those feelings down. He didn’t think he could fuck things up anymore, so he said the only thing he had on his mind. 
“I love you.”
You were at a loss for words. He loved you? You felt your heart beat faster in your chest at his words, and you shook your head, clearly having misheard him. There was no way that Remus Lupin loved you. Not in the way you thought he meant. Surely, he would have said something by now. Surely you would have caught onto what he was feeling this entire time. “What?”
“Don’t make me say it again, Y/N. I’m already pathetic as it is,” he muttered, his eyes now drawn down to the red carpet below their feet. 
“Remus Lupin loves me,” you whispered mostly to yourself, “You love me?”
He chuckled bitterly, “As catastrophic as it is, yes, with all my heart, Y/N. Since the very moment I laid eyes on you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I-I would have never kissed James if I knew-”
“Why would I tell you and fuck everything up?”
“Fuck everything up? Remus, I just wasted my first kiss on James Fleamont Potter when I could have been kissing you!”
“What?” Now it was his turn to be confused. He looked up to you finally, his eyes still glassy from crying, lips just agape with surprise. 
You shook your head and laughed. “I’m in love with you! It’s always been you.” Your arms wrapped around his middle, hugging him to your chest and laughing into his sweater. He immediately took notice of your warmth radiating through his clothes, bringing him back to the real world. You loved him. You, the girl of his dreams, were hugging him and confessing your love to him. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and brought you closer to his body, cradling you like a precious artifact in his possession. He never wanted to let you go again. 
He sighed, resting his chin on the top of your head. “You have no idea how hard it was keeping my cool around you all this time. When I saw you snuggled up to James, I wanted to kill him. He knew better than to make me jealous.”
“James knew how you felt about me?”
“Sirius, James, and Peter all knew.”
“And none of them thought to enlighten me? The betrayal.”
You inhaled the scent of his sweater, chocolate bars and mint coming in like waves. He was everything that you loved in the world all condensed into a single perfect person. He fit in your arms like a puzzle piece.
“Guess you’ve got to break up with James now,” he mumbled into her hair, stroking the back of your head, “Because I’m never letting you go ever again.”
“I think that can be arranged.”
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grunckle · 3 months
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Qualia and Ascension in Rain World
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(To clarify I'm mostly talking about base-game lore and not including Downpour, but honestly most of these things can transfer over)
Qualia
One thing that’s relatively hidden in Rain World’s text and subtext is the concept of qualia. Qualia is described as being, “sensory experiences that have distinctive subjective qualities but lack any meaning or external reference to the objects or events that cause them.” It’s a personal sensory experience that cannot be comprehended by another person other than the individual themself, and are often hard to convey via language.
Qualia is a reoccurring motif in Rain World, but what’s more important is the way in which it’s conveyed to the player. The picture that’s painted is that of a world or civilization that placed a great importance on the individuals’ experience, and it’s shown through pearls or environmental details.
Here are some examples of qualia appearing in the text through pearls.
“It's qualia, or a moment - a very short one. Someone is holding a black stone, and twisting it slightly as they drag their finger across the rough surface. The entire sequence is shorter than a heartbeat, but the resolution is extraordinary.”
“A memory... but not really visual, or even concrete, in its character. It reminds of the feeling of a warm wind, but not the physical feeling but the... inner feeling. I don't think it has much utility unless you are doing some very fringe Regeneraist research.”
“This one... is authored by Five Pebbles, when he was young. There has been an attempt to scramble the data, but it's sloppily done, and most is still somewhat legible. It's written in internal language, or thoughts, so it is hard for me to translate so you would understand.”
But the most prominent examples of qualia and it’s importance in this world are the Memory Crypts and possibly ancient naming conventions. The deep purple pearl (shortened) found in Shaded Citadel states,
“In this vessel is the living memories of Seventeen Axes, Fifteen Spoked Wheel, of the House of Braids (…) Seventeen Axes, Fifteen Spoked Wheel nobly decided to ascend in the beginning of 1514.008, after graciously donating all (ALL!) earthly possessions to the local Iterator project (Unparalleled Innocence), and left these memories to be cherished by the carnal plane. The assorted memories and qualia include:”
Ancients likely mutated their own neural tissue into the cabinet beasts we see in Shaded, which were used to store their memories and qualia before ascension. Even james said once "how 5 pebs got the rot is a good hint here" in response to someone asking how cabinet beasts work, and how they're made.
Adding on to this, ancient (and iterator) naming conventions seem to be built off of the concept of qualia, with them focusing on individual images or experiences.
Nineteen Spades, Endless Reflections
Droplets upon Five Large Droplets
Two Sprouts, Twelve Brackets
Looks to the Moon
Generally, this all points to a world focused on the expression and preservation of the individual experience. You could even consider some of the echo dialogue as more evidence for this running motif, but I already have too many quotes lol.
Ascension
So now time to talk about my interpretation of ascension. In short, you turn into a worm, but I should probably explain more than that.
So its been surfacing on rw-tumblr that the light in the end of the game is called the egg in files. Although file names shouldn't be taken as fact or canon, it is pretty obvious given the birth imagery.
But something a little lesser known is what happens to the worm that takes us down to the void-sea depths. Void worms normally have a bright glowing effect, on their body, which is present for ours as well. But after it unhooks us, it swims down, and when it passes us on it's way back that glowing effect is gone.
To be honest, I don't really think this can be interpreted in many ways, but the most obvious one and the one I personally subscribe to is that the worm laid the egg. Biology and spirituality really aren't that different in Rain World, it's implied that karma is stored in the brain through Five Pebbles's slideshow. Adding on to that, we see voidspawn after eating an iterator neuron. One's spiritual state is innately tied to their mental state, and that dictates what and what they can't perceive.
And for that reason I decide to take a more biology leaning approach to what happens in the ending. At face value, we are fertilizing the egg of a void worm to be reborn into a voidspawn.
Not only do void spawn and void worms have multiple characteristics in common, (worm like bodies, tendrils/tentacles, glowing heads, void spawn look microbial and void worms are likely some of the oldest "life" in game)
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but voidspawn are seen inside egg-like coverings and share the same egg light seen in the end of the game, confirmed to be the same thing by Videocult in a livestream they did.
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I believe that all this points to ascension being re-birth into a voidspawn, which eventually undergoes metamorphose into a worm. Higher-dimensional beings, who manifest and give birth to a new world.
So how does this tie in with qualia? Another thing you might know is that the area in which void spawn are most plentiful is Shaded Citadel and areas in Shoreline near Shaded. And shaded is absolutely packed with Cabinet Beasts, even outside Memory Crypts. I believe these qualia-storing creatures are what manifest voidspawn.
From what we see in ascension, it still looks physical and largely based around the real world. Hunter still has his scars and see's an iterator, survivor sees the slug tree in a more mystical and formless state, and monk sees survivor frankly just looking like a normal slugcat. I think that ascension is a product of qualia. We transcend our earthly knowledge via the egg, and our own qualia is used to give birth to a new world. This is why voidspawn appear most in Shaded Citadel.
Now I won't be getting into Void-Worm theories too much here, I'm mostly focused on ascension but I can't ignore the Gnosticism parallels. For those who don't know, Void Worms heavily resemble the Yaldaboath from Gnosticism, along with sharing some similar celestial motifs.
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and running with that some people theorize that, like the Yaldabaoth, void worms are responsible for manifesting the material world. Ascension seems to be a mix of the concepts of Gnosis and Nirvana, but I believe it might lean more on Gnosis.
From my limited knowledge, Gnosis is a few things, some of which being a state achieved from experiences or intuitions, and an essential part to salvation is personal knowledge. While researching a bit, I came across this text by Peter Wilberg called "From NEW AGE to NEW GNOSIS" which brings up some comparisons between Gnosticism and qualia as well.
"Gnosis is subjective knowledge of an inner universe made up not of matter, energy, space or time but of countless qualitative spheres or ‘planes’ of awareness – a knowledge obtained directly through inter- subjective resonance. It is the subjective science of this inner universe."
One thing though that has been brought up when discussing this is how this can be consolidated with the tone of the ending. It is pretty un-ambiguously happy, but if we're going with the Void worm Yaldaboath theory then that would put a bit of a sour twist on it right?
I agreed with these for some time, but now I actually think it ties in perfectly with Rain World's core themes as stated by the devs, "overcoming differences and finding empathy." I don't think the void worms are "evil" or malevolent, but I think they (and subsequently us after ascending) play a key role in demonstrating this theme.
By manifesting the physical world, we allow these souls to experience life and develop their own qualia so one day they can ascend themselves. We are shown compassion, and pass it forward.
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halfmoonaria · 3 months
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not allowed
pairing: prof!sam carpenter x student!female reader
summary: sam does something thats certainly not allowed.
words: 2k
warnings: age gap, sexual content, language.
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Sam's love life was completely dull and uneventful, it was something she's very self aware of.
It was almost tragic how lonely she was.
Although she knew she should have had an active love life; being a professor brought opportunities for intellectual conversations, networking events, and collaborative projects, which should've brought at least some kind of connections to her.
But it didn't.
All of Sam's colleagues were polite and all, but they were all so much older than her, she couldn't find herself relating to relate to any of them.
And besides, dating wasn't her thing. Since the last time she had thought she found the right person, she almost ended up dead along with her sister.
Sam could never trust anyone enough to date them. All the blame for the lack of trust rested on her previous psycho ex.
Richie had left a scar on her body, and it wasn't in the form of a stab wound.
Despite the loneliness and the lack of company, Sam loved her job.
She loved the subject she was teaching, and her colleagues were actually pretty decent.
The biggest bonus was that she got a good paycheck. She didn't have to work two jobs that could barely pay the rent for her and Tara's apartment.
And to Sam's own surprise and satisfaction, the students didn't seem to whisper about her or spread the rumors that had been on the internet ever since the murders in Woodsboro.
Most of Sam's classes were filled with jocks, party-goers or just genuinely stupid people. After all, the school she taught at had a reputation for attracting a more socially-oriented crowd rather than focusing on academic excellence.
Sam wasn't really the kind of teacher that had a big connection with her classes, sure she would crack awkward jokes in class occasionally and greet them in the hall, but no more than that.
It never felt important to her, she was there to teach, to work and to get her salary.
But then there was you.
Sam never payed attention to the people that entered the classroom, or on what place they chose to sit in for the rest of the lesson. But with you, she did.
You had caught her attention the second her eyes got in contact with your figure. It had been when she was about to introduce herself in front of the class, her first day.
The way you had looked at her when she spoke didn't make you seem like the cocky or popular type, however the outfits you chose to wear to school told her otherwise.
Skirts that were either the size of a belt or skirts that would totally show your entire ass if you bent over the slightest. And if it wasn't minimal skirts it was low waisted jeans that showed the top of your underwear.
Tiny and tight crop tops that would show the exact outline and shape of your breasts.
Sam was shocked when she found out the college didn't have a dress code, since it allowed students like you to dress like models straight out from a 90s porno.
Based on the choice of clothing you thought was school appropriate, made Sam think that you were one of those popular mean girls that she used to absolute gush over in high school.
But you didn't seem to be like that. Sure, you were popular, but that was because of your prettiness, not because you were rude or that people were scared of you. Because in fact, nobody was scared of you.
You were loyal. You were friends with technically everyone, including the teachers.
From what Sam had seen in the halls and in the classroom, you always had a smile on your face, greeting everyone you saw with a wave and the smile that looked as if the person you were talking to had hung the stars.
Sam thought it was impressive how much beauty can do for a person. The way everybody loved you because you were pretty, everybody.
Although Sam didn't think much about your scandalous outfits or the way you admired Sam every time she made eye contact with you during briefings.
Not until you had began to walk towards her desk after class had been finished.
The way you would call her 'Mrs Carpenter'. Just like you should've, just like everyone else did, yet it sounded so different.
At first it had only been a simple question about an assignment, but then you started to stop by after every single lesson.
Sam tried to act like normal, responsible. But it was almost impossible when you would slightly lean forward, basically forcing Sam's gaze to your chest. Your hushed and low voice did it for her as well. You talked as if it was secret, as if nobody else was allowed to hear.
She was starting to think that it was all on purpose, that it was all because you wanted a better grade that you couldn't accomplish by yourself.
Sam knew for a certain that she wouldn't give in, she wouldn't give in because you tried to 'flirt' with her, it might've worked with your other professors but it definitely wouldn't work with her.
Sam was stubborn and incredibly obstinate, but she was also very insecure, alongside having no self respect. Most times when she would tell herself to avoid doing something, her lack of confidence would make her do it regardless.
Weeks passed and you didn't stop. You asked Sam for help after every single class.
You spoke to her in a flirty and hushed voice,  Sam had tried to talk back normally, but she would be lying if she couldn't hear her own voice sounding flirty as well.
Sam didn't know what she was doing, you were her student. But you made it so incredibly difficult for her to act like it.
You were gorgeous, model material. But that wasn't the problem. The problem was that you were aware of it, you knew how pretty you were, you knew exactly how to act around people to get your way.
She couldn't understand what was happening, but when you were with her, Sam felt this subtle flutter whenever you approached or just looked at her.
Sam had never felt that feeling before, not even when she was with Richie.
So instead of telling herself you did that with all your teachers, she began thinking that maybe, just maybe you did it because you actually liked her. Even though it wasn't allowed.
Sam was starved. Not from food starvation or hunger, but from love and touch. And she knew it was wrong to think that way when it was about you, it was so wrong.
But it was just thoughts right? Nobody could hear them.
That's what she had thought, but it was like you could read her mind.
Your attempts of trying to make Sam give in got more and more intense. You would touch her hands, standing close up to her and compliment her.
Eventually, Sam's mouth had moved faster than her mind could process. She had accepted your request for her to tutor you.
Sam knew that you didn't actually want tutoring, you were passing the subjects enough to graduate, unlike everybody else in your class. She knew that this was your attempt to flirt even more.
She knew she should've cancelled. The thought still haunted her, what would've happened if she did? Everything would've been so different.
However, Sam didn't cancel. And it turned out exactly like she thought it would.
You had insisted to sit beside her, and not in front of her. You would make sure your arms touched, that you spoke closely to her ear, you would bite your lips and toe flirt with her.
You were bold, so bold that it made you look hotter than Sam thought was possible.
Sam was desperate for something to change so she wouldn't feel the desire to be touched. Her body was craving a touch that wasn't from herself, not from anybody but you.
She felt disgusted by her own thoughts, every single thought her mind managed to convey was about you.
Next thing she knew, your lips had landed on hers. And Sam just couldn't pull away, her mind wasn't working properly. She had kissed you back.
But when her mind started to fall back in place, she pulled away, panic rushing through her as she had scanned the place, making sure nobody had seen it.
She had kissed her student, in a library. A public library.
Her mind had done this before. When she had been on top of Richie, knife going in and out of his chest, blood being the only thing that could be seen. It was like a blackout, Sam didn't know what she was doing, but at the same time, she knew exactly. But it had felt too good to stop. Just like it had been with you.
When you got the confirmation of Sam wanting the same thing, you had pulled her into the bathroom stall, where Sam couldn't help but kiss you just as hungrily as she had done in her disgusting thoughts.
Nothing mattered when your hands were roaming her body. The fact that you were her student and she was your teacher didn't seem to matter at all in that moment.
Sam couldn't understand what her mind was doing to her. This was like another one of those blackouts, where she couldn't think about the consequences of the things she was doing.
Like now, when she found herself in her own bed tangled up in the sheets, with you next to her.
Bare.
Her mind was all over the place. Thoughts racing through her mind like the traffic in New York, making her head feel like it was about to explode.
She couldn't show you the panic she was feeling about the whole situation. Because that would make you think she regretted it. And she didn't, god no she didn't.
You were so gentle yet bold at the same time. You made sure to ask for permission before doing everything, but you did everything so well.
Your touch was everything Sam's body had craved for months, it was nothing like she had done before. Your touch basically boiled on her skin.
You worshipped Sam in ways she didn't even know existed. The ways you touched her felt so good that she couldn't begin to understand what you were doing.
It had all felt so good that Sam could barely remember it. She remembered moaning, she remembered the satisfaction in it all; the warmth, the passion and the wetness.
Looking down at your figure laying against her, legs tangled up in each other, to see that your eyes were already on her. Your beautiful eyes filled with curiosity and admiration was inspecting her face, fingers smoothly running through her hair.
"What're you thinking about?" Your voice came out as a whisper, voice cracking from the lack of talking; words had not been the priority just minutes before.
When Sam made eye contact with you, all the worries faded away. She could be fired because of this, because of you, yet you were the person who could make the worries bluntly disappear.
Sam's lips curled into a gentle smile when she looked at you, bringing up her finger to subtly caress your cheek. "That this won't help you get a better grade.." She lied, a faint laugh escaping from her lips.
You smirked up at her before planting a kiss on her lips. "Please Mrs Carpenter. I promise I'll do better next time." Sarcasm laced your voice, and if Sam hadn't heard that, she would be panicking.
The fact that you had called her 'Mrs Carpenter' made her stomach twirl, sparkles flying around in it. Just like it had done when you moaned it a few minutes ago.
Although the twirls quickly turned into guilt. She shouldn't be doing this, she shouldn't be in bed with you, let alone be in her own apartment with you.
It truly didn't matter how many excuses she tried to make for herself, it wasn't right, and she should've been disgusted with herself.
She was a professor at a college who had fucked her student. And for obvious reasons, that just wasn't allowed.
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avocad1s · 2 months
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About the Creator: Favoritism - 2
Requested by: Multiple anonymous users
CW: None?
Characters Included: Lyney, Arlecchino, Pantalone, Furina, Wriothesley, Neuvillette, Venti, Zhongli, Nahida
Note: Long time no see! Hope you all enjoy something lots of people requested in my absence! 🙏 Also this is written before Arlecchino’s release. So there may be some OOC Harbingers lol
Part One
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Arlecchino: “Their Grace has quite the sweet tooth. Naturally I don’t mind indulging them in the sweetest treats I can find. Spending time with Their Grace is not a privilege everyone enjoys… they constantly join my children and I for tea or just simple conversation… What’s with that look? Surely you don’t believe I would actually cause harm to them. No matter what you think of the Fatui, Her Majesty still reveres Their Grace. So naturally we would feel the same.”
Furina: “I always feared what Their Grace would think of me. I was pretending to be the Hydro Archon, I knew with just one look, they would know I wasn’t who I claimed. I thought I was ready to accept any form of punishment they deemed worthy. However when we first met, their benevolence really shined through. They really understood just how draining the past few decades were for me and even apologized for not being there…. Ehem! Anyways…! I actually have a tea party with Their Grace this afternoon! I must get the most exquisite confectioneries to suit their palate.”
Lyney: “So that’s what you wanted to ask! Well yes, there have been many times when Their Grace and I have been alone together.… and as the successor, I have to tend towards Their Grace in “Fathers” absence. Having any kind of relationship with them is very beneficial for the House of the Hearth, but them wanting to spend more time with me than with the Iudex or even Ms. Furina… well, I won’t complain one bit!”
Nahida: “My favorite thing to do with Their Grace is trading knowledge with them. Even with Irminsul, Their Grace knows bits of knowledge I’ve never heard before. They were here once before, back when all members of the Seven were still in contact with each other. I have no memory of that. So it’s only fair that I’m able to make memories of my own with Their Grace now right?”
Neuvillette: “Their Grace spends a lot of their time in Fontaine. As the Iudex and with no Archon ruling the nation, I have made it my personal responsibility to tend to their needs.… You are correct, Their Grace and I do spend quite a lot of time together, anytime I am free of my duties I always look forward to sharing a cup of water imported from Qiaoying Village and listening to whatever they wish to talk about.… Hm? No of course not. There is nothing I would deem as “too much work” when it comes to Their Grace.”
Pantalone: “There is no amount of mora I wouldn’t spend on Their Grace. No matter what they request, whether it be big or small, common or rare, I will always get it for them. Tell me Traveler, do you believe I am buying Their Grace’s attention? There are many people in Teyvat who have money, yet their gaze never leaves mine. It seems that obtaining a vision isn’t the only way to get favor from the Gods.”
Venti: “Hello there Traveler…! You were coming here to see Their Grace? Well, you just missed them! But worry not, I can sing you a song I just wrote about them! Oh…? You think that the Creator favors me? Well I’d rather it be me than any of the other Archons! All of Mondstadt believes that I’m just some bard who managed to capture Their Grace’s attention, but in reality I think I understand Their Grace better than anyone. Hehe…”
Wriothesley: “I never really expected to meet Their Eminence, but once they requested to enter the Fortress I made sure everything was in order for their arrival. Even now, they come down often just to share a cup of tea with Sigewinne and I. A lot of the prisoners believe that I have some sort of favoritism or that I take bribes from them… hm? Well I didn’t say it wasn’t true, but I didn’t think it was that obvious…”
Zhongli: “You wish to know about my relationship with Their Grace? As the eldest Archon, I take pride in having the strongest connection with them. Even now, when they return to Teyvat centuries later, it feels as if our connection has never changed. If they ever choose to settle in one of the nations, I would be honored if they chose Liyue. Everything I’ve done has been in their image, and being able to spend time with them as Zhongli rather than Morax is a privilege I will never take for granted.”
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My first post back just to see how it felt to write some of my favorite characters again. Anyway, I will be opening requests so feel free to send something in! :)
© avocad1s 2024
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womenloverlmao · 2 months
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Spencer Reid NSFW Alphabet
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He's so babygirl
Im not adding warnings or like whats included because this is all over the fucking place and yeah that's nobody's fault but my own but still
Dont like it dont read it, dont complain.
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
He thinks it's so fucking important, he could probably go off on a rant about it, too. (But let's be honest, he can go off on a rant about anything.) He thinks it creates an emotional bond, shit like that. Even though he's the sub, he does like to take care of you after you take care of him.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His favorite (and yours of his) are his hands. He knows he knows what to do with them, driving you absolutely crazy. He also 100% teases you with it too, just saying. He can be insecure sometimes about certain things, but he knows them.
He loves your thighs and tits. Let's be honest, we all know he's a boob guy.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He cries when he climaxes sometimes.
Also he either likes cumming in you or on your tits. (Bro is obsessed with the tibbies)
D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Sometimes steals your panties, but he puts them back (after washing them) and you don't really notice. He also knows how to hide it so like
This one you know about, he was getting INTO it and he got a work call that he had to pick up while he was still inside you. A couple whimpers were let out when you moved against him and it was so embarrassing but no one besides you two know. they thought he was sick because he is a sickly victorian child
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Bro is not experienced at all, he was a virgin before you, but he knows what he's doing from reading so fucking much about literally everything. Sure, he might be awkward at first, but once he's done it once and is sure you like it he's pretty good at everything.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
He likes when you're on top, but his favorite is when your legs are thrown either around his waist or over his shoulders as he absolutely pounds into you like a bitch in heat.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)
there are moments where even when he is balls-deep inside you you both can't help but laugh. he sometimes spews random facts and he can't shut himself up so it can be really a mess but you both love it.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
It all depends on your preferences. He keeps it relatively short, but if you need it shorter he'll do it.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
It's 100% Intimate, even if it can be silly sometimes. it's just different, in your own way, really.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
When he's on his own in a hotel room and you're back home and he needs you, he'll do it. Most of the time he needs your voice to do so, but he knows when you go to bed, and if it's before that he will call you but if it's not he'll do it on his own. If you send him pictures of yourself? uses them. he won't admit it, but he does.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Mommy kink. I don't need to elaborate.
Orgasm Denial
Overstimulation
B r e e d i n g.
Degradation but only a little, you have to add praise to it and then it's fine.
Kinda like possession?? But not like in a keeping you or him locked up, in a 'you're mine' way.
Hair pulling.
Probably into pegging
Nipple play on you.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Bedroom. That's pretty much it. He gets to thinking too much anywhere else. He gets too into thinking in the bedroom, how do you expect him to fuck you in a bathroom shawty
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
You in his clothes. Dirty talk. Sometimes it's nothing specific, and he's touch-starved so he can act like a teenager.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
I feel like he would stay away from bondage after Hankel. Before then, he would be fine, but chances are this all takes place after so yeah no. Same reason for spanking and shit. It may look like he's super kinky, but there are more things he wouldn't do than things he would.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He likes when you give him head but dude would do anything if you let him eat you out. He's absolutely amazing. He has your body memorized, so like
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He can do whatever, but when he's trying to make himself cum (normally after he's made you cum and leaves you super fucking overstimulated but he wants to cum so badly) he's fast and like holy f u c k. but he knows how you like it, so before then it's whatever makes you cum quickest so he can cum. also random but I forgot to put that he always makes you cum first.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Will do them, but prefers having time with you and that shit.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He is but if it's something listed up there it's a no. He could try different things but there are many things that he just wouldn't do.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Can go like three five-minute rounds with breaks in between them, but when he's doing it on you he will probably overstimulate you to no end just trying to make you feel good.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He doesn't have anything but if you wanted to do things with them, they could be implanted.
If you got a dildo he would let you use it on him after a little bit of convincing.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Depends on the day and if he's being a dom or a sub, but even inside of those it depends. He leans more submissive and loves to please you, but he is 100% a brat and will tease you.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He is l o u d. he can be quiet but he will whimper, moan, whine, beg. (bitch in heat I'm not sorry)
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He loves listening and being the sub while being the top. Like... do you get what I mean?
Also one time he was in you, rubbing your clit, trying to get you to cum and he said 'Did you know about 75% of the clitoris is inside the body' and you actually burst out laughing and yall had to stop what you were doing and like gather everything and make sure you didn't die while he was inside you again.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
6.5 inches, and thick. like, ripping your vagina from the inside out thick. (why am I set on this hill please murder me slowly)
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
It wasn't high. until you came around, then he is just like EVERY MOMENT OF THE DAY turned on. it's physically impossible, or it should be.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
If it weren't so icky in his head he could probably fall asleep immediately afterwards, but he has to clean it up and then he can fall asleep.
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kooksbunnnn · 6 months
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SO HIM- MIN YOONGI
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masterlist
Pairing: idol!yoongi × female reader
Warnings: none. It's fluff. Slightly suggestive in the beginning. You miss him. Making out.
Words: 1.2k words
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At this point, you couldn't even smell him in your bed anymore. Him being cooped up in his studio has its own pros and cons. Pros being the new mind blowing songs he would produce for his fans which, ofcourse, includes you too, whereas the cons, you not being able to see him for days considering both of your busy schedules and him generally sleeping in the genius lab.
Motivation and inspiration can make a person workoholic, and Min Yoongi is an example of that. It's one of those nights where he would be overworking himself, and you know you would have to sleep without cuddling him or kissing him good night for the 4th time this week.
You missed your boyfriend so much.
You can't even remember when was the last time you felt him, like actually felt him, over you, behind you, beside you, beneath you, inside you.
Oh, you wanna feel him inside you so bad, the reminder of that stretch makes your stomach swirl.
You step into your room mindlessly, scrolling through your phone when a notification pops on your upper screen.
Catto: you up?
Seeing his text, you stop in the way to your bedroom. He rarely texts from work, and it makes your eyebrows furrow with concern when he pops up in your notification bar at 11:47 pm.
You: yes baby. All okay?
You wait for him to reply, which comes almost in 3 seconds. The three dots quickly turning into a message, saying,
Catto: i wanna see you doll, haven't seen you in ages, AND bumping in hallways doesn't count, baby. I miss you, sm :(
You: i miss you toooo baby:(((
Catto: :((((((((
You read his message and feel your bottom lip jut out due to his cuteness. You sigh sadly when you look at your empty bed covered with cold sheets along with his shirt lying on his side along with the pillow he uses.
Let's call it emotional support.
You want to visit him so bad, but the comeback is close, and you dont want to disturb him. Your mom always used to tell you, a relationship works only if you understand the difference between important things and priorities, responsibilities and duties, you both would need to understand what the other needs to prioritize at the moment.
So when you met Yoongi, you understood why your mom always said that. You know right now what priority and responsibilities are, so it doesn't make you insecure about the fact that you are also one of the most important things in his life. So, no matter how much you both miss each other, you can't just expect him to keep his job, his passion, the need of the moment, aside for a moment together.
Just like he doesn't expect you to keep your job and passion aside, he knows how important it is for you and vice versa.
You spend the next ten to fifteen minutes getting comfortable on your side of the bed. Picking up the book you left with a bookmark on the night table. But before you could pick it up, your phone rings.
You see Yoongi's picture smiling at you, but then your eyes focus on the time on the top left corner of your phone. It's 20 minutes past midnight. Concerned, you answer the call.
"Baby, everything okay?" You ask as soon as you pick up.
"Come downstairs, I brought chicken."
"What- why are you not coming upstairs?" You ask already halfway out of the bed, you hear him ruffling the polybags grumbling something about sauce so you run towards the kitchen to pick up his favorite hot sauce from the counter.
"I can't, babe. I have to return to the studio. Jungkookie's waiting. Moreover, if I come upstairs, I will end up sleeping the night and then regret it the next morning. You know? " He tells you, and you understand his worry, you have seen him regret a tiny 2 hour nap at his studio, resulting in a grumpy and irritated look on his face the whole day.
He also indirectly signals to you that he can't stay for long, so you rush down faster.
Its not like you dont want him to relax but you know he will just end up blaming himself up for it the next day fully convinced it was his mistake to relax when he needed to work no matter how much you try to calm him down.
Yes. Speaking from experience.
"Coming, bubs." You hang up and step into the elevator after checking the door, hands filled with a hot sauce bottle and two water bottles. You smile when the elevator finally reaches the ground floor. The excitement feels like the time you two were dating, sneaking around, hiding from people, and the staff as well.
It's funny how Bang pd was the one to find out about you both before all the boys did. That day, you realized that Jin DOES NOT LIKE being left out on important stuff.
When you spot his car, you sprint towards it with a big smile. The windows are slightly tinted(security purposes), making you unable to see the smile that comes on his face after he spots you. You quickly open the door impatiently, and your smile widens more. He is wearing that white shirt of his, which makes you wanna worship the man, unbuttoned up to the second button, hair fluffed up due to running of his fingers multiple times.
You sigh happily when he pulls you in his arms as soon as you get into the car, not even caring about the car door still being slightly ajar.
"I missed you." His voice coming out muffled due to your hair.
"I missed you too, baby." You chuckle as you lean back, breaking the hug to close the door properly. Turning back you see that he has his head resting upon the seat while he looks at you with the prettiest smile you've ever seen.
Fuck, you love this man.
Leaning in again, he cups your cheek and kisses you, slow and soft, slowly sneaking his tongue into it. His hand places itself on your neck, and the other one reaches for your waist. Pulling you on top of him.
You get comfortable on his lap, kissing him as if he was water, and you just woke up thirsty at 3 in the night. Oh, you definitely were thirsty for him.
You felt so happy in the kiss you never wanted it to end. Fisting the white shirt in one hand as you let the other explore his fluffy and long hair. Some minutes later, he tries to pull back, but you dont let him, whining a 'no' with furrowed yet concentrated eyebrows, making him chuckles in the middle of your kiss.
"Baby the chicken?" He tells you with a laugh, shoulders bouncing with that pretty laugh of his. You watch his gummy smile with a silly little smile on your face as well.
You missed this so much. He raises his eyebrow once again when you flick the strand of hair sitting prettily over his forehead, tracing his nose bridge almost like in a trance.
"Well?" He asks again, and you then realize you zoned out. It's been 3 days since you had talked to him properly, and it would be an understatement to just say you missed him.
Smiling, you lean in for a quick peck once again, making him hum, in that deep voice of his. It reaches within you and somehow gives you so much comfort that you feel overwhelmed.
Not to sound overdramatic, but he makes you feel still, mentally, unlike the frantic thoughts that were always running around in your head when you were away from him.
He is just so perfect. So gorgeous, so calming, so 'him'.
You nod with a wide smile, booping his pretty nose,
"Okay baby, lets eat."
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