weasleykisses - Tumblr blog

weasleykisses · 4 months

Text

You’re So Pretty IV (Remus x Reader)

You’re So Pretty IV

A/N: final chapter to the series. Happy ending bc I’m a sucker for love. You and Remus are desperately in love with each other, and it was only a matter of time before someone said something. *Not edited*

Might write a Sirius alternate ending to this if I get the inspiration.

Word count: 6.1k

________

Y/N had been a bit down in the dumps since Remus ran away from her after sharing another one of their little moments together. She just couldn’t understand why he was always running away. He wasn’t the most outspoken or extroverted of the group, but surely he felt comfortable around her. They were best friends.

When they studied together, she tried her best to act normal, like his behavior wasn’t killing her inside. She was frustrated with him, for how indecisive he was acting and how he kept tugging at her heart string just to let them go without warning. She talked to him at meals like normal, and shared her desk with him in classes they shared, but things felt so strange.

Her heart beat so swiftly when he was around she thought she might have a heart attack when their hands skimmed over each other’s or when his eyes lingered just a bit too long on her. She even felt flustered when he offered to share his textbook in Charms, something completely normal for the two of them any other time.

This was becoming ridiculous, really.

She didn’t tell the other girls why she cuddled a particular sweater of hers when she laid in bed, terribly worried about her relationship with the boy who used to wear it. She certainly didn’t say it was because it was laced with the scent of Remus Lupin. It had been his until he gave it to her on a snowy cold day in Hogsmeade.

She dreaded the day it might lose his smell and lose his touch, then she’d have to find something else of his to latch onto.

It would just be another reason for the girls to joke about how she fancied him. She never admitted it to them, refusing each time they brought it up. Yet, they persisted as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She felt hopeless against the onslaught of suggestive looks they gave her when she was around the boy. She couldn’t even study with him without one of the girls suggesting she was going to spend the whole time staring at his ‘cute’ face.

It was nights like these, quiet ones with just the girls, when she felt the most vulnerable to their jokes. In the privacy of their own dorm, anything they said could be kept secret, just between the four of them. There was no way any of them would let the sensitive information slip out of that room.

Marlene would stay up at night gossiping about boys despite her obviously having a crush on Dorcas. Y/N never said anything about it. That was something she had to figure out on her own terms. Still Y/N found it adorable whenever Marlene would look at the other girl with starry eyes.

Beside her, Dorcas would sit braiding Marlene’s golden hair into intricate plaits for the next day. Lily would be up finishing her homework but chiming in whenever Potter was mentioned. Always the bookworm with a bit of an adventurous streak coming from James Potter’s everlasting crush on her.

Finally, a sweet Y/N laid in her bed staring at the ceiling with that sweater clutched to her chest, listening to the gossip her friends passed around. She would chime it sometimes, gushing about the boy she fancied. Talking about how he made her smile and laugh so much her cheeks would be sore. Talking about the way he was the perfect guy, personality and looks wise. She loved talking about that special someone. It made her heart race and her cheeks burn with passion.

That special someone was obviously Remus Lupin, even if she never specifically said so. Tonight, however, she wasn’t so cheery about her crush, in fact, she was rather quiet. The other girls talked freely amongst themselves while she kept silent in her bed, just pondering what she was to do about everything.

“I just wish Sirius would quit fooling around and ask me out,” Marlene groaned. “He’s so hot, I get dizzy just being around him sometimes.”

“You said that about Thomas Brookstone last week,” Dorcas teased, rolling her eyes at the incredibly flaky nature of her best friend. She finished her long plaits and moved on to the large curler she used on her bangs. Y/N was always a bit jealous of Marlene and her golden blond hair, hanging to her middle back and sparkling in the sunshine.

Marlene was quick to defend herself, “It was a moment of weakness; you know my heart belongs to Sirius Black.” Yeah, right. Sirius was cute, for sure, but he wasn’t boyfriend material.

Y/N loved Sirius. He was a great friend, albeit a bit too flirty at times. He was charming and she could understand why Marlene would fall for him. Just like she could tell why Lily had taken a liking to James even if she denied it adamantly. Y/N thought James was just as swell as Sirius, being some of her closest friends outside the girls’ group.

She listened silently to her friends bicker on about crushes, Sirius and James, some talk of Dorcas potentially dating Peter, those kinda things. Nothing too important.

With a frustrated frown, she stared up at the canopy of her bed, her eyes trailing along the gold embroidery against the red velvet. It was dreadfully stressful. She felt completely sucked into her own little world, her heart beating steadily in her chest.

She brought the sweater up to her face and sighed at the scent, as if Remus was there laying with her right now. He smelled like books and cocoa and this strong cologne she loved.

“You’ve got any thoughts, Y/N?”

She snapped out of her haze, jumping from her place flat on her mattress to prop herself on her elbow. She shoved down the sweater, attempting to hide it under the covers. “Oh, about what exactly?” She asked, cringing now that they knew she was daydreaming again.

“About Sirius.”

“What about Sirius?”

The girl waved her hand through the air dismissively. “Nevermind. You’re always lost in your own thoughts, aren’t you?” Marlene laughed.

It was true. She got lost quite a lot, drifting between the real world and her imaginary one. One where Remus held her tightly to his chest like the night they danced around the common room to the record player all night long. One where Remus kissed her and held her cheeks in his strong, calloused hands.

Y/N was quick to reply, hoping she was correct in her assumptions. “I definitely think you should ask him out. He totally adores you.” She tried to be a good friend, really. Yet, she had no idea if the boy liked Marlene back. He never mentioned or hinted at it, from what she could tell.

“He’s like that with every girl.” Dorcas finished her friend’s hair, finally setting down her brush. “You’ve got to find yourself a new person to fancy. He’s too much of a player, practically romancing the entire student body at this point.”

“Not me,” Y/N replied.

Dorcas laughed, as did Lily. Her brows furrowed, confused at what was so funny. Was there something she was supposed to know? She squirmed a bit in her place on the bed, her eyes trailing to the carpeted floor.

Marlene answered her questions though. “Hun, Sirius flirts with you the most out of anyone, for obvious reasons...”

“Trying to make a certain someone jealous.”

“I never know what you’re talking about. Someone? Like who?”

“Just lay back down and keep daydreaming, Y/N. We know you’d rather be with your little boyfriend,” Dorcas told the girl, brushing off her oblivious nature. “Well, not so little, quite tall actually.”

“Shush. You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about. I don’t have a boyfriend.” Y/N did take the opportunity to lay back on her bed again, head hitting the plush pillows.

“I bet you’re thinking about him right now. Can’t ever get that boy off your mind.”

She clutched at the sweater under the blanket, holding it to her chest. They always made fun of her for her crush, nearly every chance they got. Really, Y/N was content just holding his sweater close and seeing him during the day. She was particularly proud each time she managed to get him to smile, a real genuine one. He was so dreamy when he smiled.

A soft curve to her lips indicated that she’d fallen victim to another fantasy, thinking of his grin, saved just for her. He was so handsome, with his fluffy brown hair and turtleneck sweaters. She thought of the way he bit his lip when lost in thought, reading a book or listening to an interesting transfiguration lesson.

Not that she stared at him all class. That would be weird. But it would explain her needing tutoring in the subject.

She was consumed by him, everything about him down to his tiny imperfections. He was mysterious in a way that peaked her interest, and snarky with people he didn’t like. He was kind to her, and tolerant of the rest of the group. He was just so perfect. So devilishly charming in his own special way.

Her heart beat faster and she felt heat rising to her cheeks. Her fingers dug into the jumper in her hands even tighter, wanting to bring it up to her face and hug it, getting a piece of Remus before she saw him the next morning at breakfast.

After seven long years of knowing the boys and rooming with the girls in the Gryffindor dormitories, she wondered if it was time to come clean. It felt like the stars were finally aligning in her favor. Her grades were better than usual, she had the best friends in the world, Christmas was right around the corner, and she was unbelievably happy, if not for the stupid Remus situation.

Her friends sat around Lily’s bed, going on about boys again, not that she was keeping track. She could barely pay attention, her mind was on the boy she fancied. He made her so dumb. So distracted she might as well give up on thinking about anything else but him.

The other girls already knew. It was only a matter of time before her heart had swelled so much that it burst. She needed to confide in someone.

“I think I’m in love with him,” Y/N whispered, interrupting their conversation..

Dorcas raised a brow, lifting her eyes from a magazine in her lap. The other girls didn’t bother sparing more than a glance before going back to reading. “Seems you’re the last to find out. I think even James was able to deduce that before you,” the blonde laughed.

“I know you like to make fun of me, but it’s serious.”

“And we’re serious about just pulling the poor boy into a broom closet and snogging him,” Dorcas added, “Remus isn’t so scary.”

“He cares for you so much, Y/N,” Lily assured, resting a gentle hand on her friend’s knee soothingly. It was quite obvious to everyone else except for the girl in question. If only she could clearly see in from the outside, through the eyes of anyone else there. “You should just say something to him.”

Y/N took a deep breath and sighed. “I’m just so scared to lose him. Remus is like my best friend.”

“And so she finally admits it,” Marlene giggled, “Remus loves you. There’s nothing you could do that would scare him away, sweetheart.”

It was only a bit reassuring to her, the things the girls said. It was easy to say those things when you were looking in from the outside, supposedly unaffected if disaster were to strike. If he were to be disturbed by her confession and turn her down, forever making their relationship complicated and uncomfortable.

Tears filled her eyes and she sniffled, covering her eyes with her forearm to keep the tears from dripping down her cheeks. She was such a crybaby. Remus didn’t want a crybaby. He wanted a smart and confident girl. Someone that would raise him up, not drag him down. Y/N was far too messy.

“I-I just love him so much. He means the world to me. I can’t risk ruining our relationship,” the girl whimpered. Marlene was quick to take a seat on the edge of the bed, running a soothing hand through Y/N’s hair. “He’s just so perfect and I’m so awkward. He doesn’t want me.”

“Don’t cry, please. It’s gonna be okay, I promise,” Marlene hushed.

Dorcas added, “If he breaks your heart, Lily will hex the shit out of him anyway.”

Y/N pulled the sweater out from under the blanket and pressed it to her face, taking in the scent and the feeling of the fabric against her skin. “He gave me this jumper, you know. I was supposed to give it back, but he never asked and it smells so good, just like him. I lay here every night thinking about his smile and his laugh, and his sweet honey-brown eyes. I think of his voice and his fluffy hair, and the way he always has chocolate frogs in his bag for when I’m sad. I just love everything about him.”

Marlene swiped her fingers under her eyes, blinking back some tears herself, “Damn, Y/N, you’re gonna make me all emotional.”

“I was wondering why you kept sleeping with that jumper. Figured you were just cold,” Lily hummed. “I think that’s really sweet. You should tell him what you just told us.”

“You’d melt his icy, cold heart, babe,” Dorcas said.

“You’d be surprised. He’s been sending me very mixed signals recently, and I really don’t think he’s interested,” Y/N confessed sadly, pressing her face into her pillows. “We get so close and then he just runs away. It’s like he’s scared of me or something. I-I don’t know what to do!”

“He’s a complicated guy. I think you should go find him. Figure all this out, like, right now.”

“It’s past curfew,” Y/N argued.

“Since when do those boys head to bed at curfew? They’re probably up talking about some stupid stink bomb prank or whatever,” the blonde argued back, “Maybe they’re like us and talking about their own crushes. Who knows?”

Again, Dorcas was right. Those boys would never fall asleep before midnight. They were probably wide awake plotting some shit while Remus read in his own bed, pretending to be disapproving of their behavior. He liked to prank and go on mini adventures, just didn’t want to stoop to their level of idiocy.

“Well, go on. Get to it,” Lily practically ordered, waving her hands towards the door. “I can’t stand seeing you drool over this boy any longer.”

Y/N didn’t stand up right away, not until Marlene took her hands and pulled her from the bed to her feet. She wore her pajamas with cartoon monkeys and bananas on it, and she wondered if she should change. It was kind of embarrassing after all.

“Really, I don’t have to tell him tonight. I’ll do it some other time, I swear,” she tried to say but was interrupted.

“Nope. You have to go now. We’ve decided that’s best for you.”

“Don’t you think this is rather sudden?”

“Don’t make excuses. If you come back to this room without shagging a certain bookworm in the broom cupboard, you’re sleeping on the floor.” That made her feel heat in her cheeks and she choked on air, coughing suddenly from the vulgarity of her friend.

Marlene pushed her out the dorm room and shut the door, making sure to lock it from the inside so she couldn’t get back in. They weren’t lying. If she didn’t do this, she might be sleeping on the couch in the common room for the night.

With a deep breath, she stood up a bit straight and walked towards the boy’s dormitories. She felt wrong being there, a girl sneaking into the boy’s dorms in the middle of the night. If someone saw her, they might think she was a massive pervert.

She rounded the corner, her eyes catching sight of the third door to the right, precisely where all four of the infamous marauders slept every night. Quickly, she scurried over to the large round door and stood in front of it, her fist hovering a few inches from the wood. She was afraid to knock. What if they were sleeping and she woke them? Would Remus be grumpy? Would James whack her over the head with a slipper?

She shuffled nervously, before hesitantly tapping on the door, praying that no one heard and she could just turn around and tell the girls everyone was asleep.

Only, that’s not what happened. She heard a loud crash from inside the room followed by some hurried talking. Footsteps approached the door and cracked it open just enough to peer out and see her dumbass standing there in her stupid pajamas, twiddling her thumbs.

It was Peter. She smiled awkwardly at him, and he let out a loud breath of relief.

“Y/N, I’ve never been so relieved to see you,” the boy exhaled, opening the door just enough for her to slip inside. She stared at him, confused at what he meant by that. He took her wrist, peering left and right in the hallway for watching eyes, then tugged her into the room. He shut the door behind her and flipped the lock shut.

She stared at the short boy, her mouth open but her brain empty of words. “Peter, what are you on about?”

“Y/N! Darling! What a coincidence you show up at this hour. We were just about to get you-“ Sirius started, until Y/N interrupted, her eyes latching onto the bubbling brew on the floor before her. It was smoking and quite grayish-green for a proper potion. She wondered what they could be up to at this hour.

“What are you guys trying to brew?” She peered around the room at the boys. James and Sirius were leaning over the pot with confusion on their features, James clutching at the recipe in his hand while the other held a wooden spoon. Peter was pacing, as the boy does when he finds himself at all stressed. Remus sat in his bed watching from the sidelines, presumably having been reading the book that he now sat at his side.

Tonight he must have been wanting to avoid their shenanigans for a change. He did that sometimes, when he was tired or he had been studying for a long period of time beforehand and wanted to relax.

“Healing potion, although we seem to have fucked up somewhere along the way,” James said warily, staring down into the disgustingly thick, bubbling liquid that burned from a makeshift heat source on the hardwood. “We have a prank coming up soon that might require some if it comes back to bite us in the ass.”

She hummed, reaching out to take their recipe from his hands and read the fine print, something the four of them seemed to ignore. It wasn’t that she doubted their ability to brew a complex potion such as this, it was just that they didn’t have experience with healing brews like she did, in fact, it was the one thing she actually enjoyed brewing. Everything else went over her head.

Perhaps that’s why they seemed relieved to see her. She’d made the potion for Remus in times of need quite a few times. “I don’t know why you didn’t just ask me to make you some in the first place. You know Slughorn lets me use the classroom when I ask,” she commented.

“You seemed stressed. We didn't want to bother you.”

“Nonsense. I’m always willing to help friends, even if it’s for less-than-honorable means,” Y/N brushed off their worries. She reached down to their pile of ingredients and took a pinch of mint leaf, tossing it into the pot and stirring with the spoon five times counterclockwise. “I should be able to fix this right up with a few tweaks.”

She added a few more things, stirred the pot and waited for the color to change and the bubbling to die down to a low simmer. Finally happy with the results, she spooned a bit into a vial and held it out to her friend.

“Oh, thank you, sweet angel,” Sirius replied, quite pleased , “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

She giggled, nodding her head at his words. “All the time.” He stepped forward carefully to take the potion vial from her hands and tuck it into his pants pocket for later. James spooned the liquid into a few more potion bottles he had sitting off to the side, putting them into a little sack to save for later.

She turned away from the pot, suddenly stuck in the precarious situation she came here for. She wondered if she could somehow sneak out without finishing her seemingly impossible task.

Peter furrowed his brows, now concerned with things other than an explosive, unpredictable potion that was previously in their room. “Y/N, why were you outside our dorm this late anyway? It’s almost midnight.”

“It’s a long story,” she replied, now thinking about why she was sent there in the first place. Her cheeks bloomed as embarrassment flooded her features. She wrung her hands in her lap, staring down at the monkey print on her favorite night shirt and pants. Everything is interesting when you’re trying to avoid the inevitable.

“We‘ve certainly got the time,” James chirped, setting his broom on the floor and plopping into his bed. “It’s awfully out of character for you to be sneaking about after curfew.” She cringed at his words. James was right. She would never leave her bed at this hour normally, especially not to show up at their room unannounced. She wrestled with her options on how she could explain herself without seeming like a bumbling idiot.

Her eyes flickered over to Remus, who appeared to be reading a book, distracting himself from the chaos at hand. Only each time she turned away, he peered back to see her pretty face. That innocent smile and her sparkly eyes.

“Didn’t even bother getting dressed. Must have been urgent,” Sirius inquired further.

She stood from her spot on the ground, her eyes staring off at the wall, and then at the floor, anywhere but in the eyes of one of her friends. “I came to see Remus.” Her words were very quiet, almost incoherent. Still, they all heard her. The boy in question peered up from his novel with a brow raised.

“Oooooh,” James cackled, “What did you do this time, Moony?” His friends teased him. Out of all of them though, Remus was probably the least likely to offend one of the girls and get a scolding. James and Sirius definitely outranked him on the mischievous scale.

“It couldn’t have waited til morning, Y/N?” He asked, voice seemingly caught in his throat. He swallowed thickly. What could she possibly need at this hour? From him of all people?

“Um, no. It’s rather important, actually,” she replied, a bit of nervousness in her voice, leading to some shaky words. “Let’s go outside for a minute, if that’s okay with you.”

He set down his novel on the nightstand beside his bed. He felt embarrassed as the guys winked his way and made crude gestures as he walked behind her out the door. His face was no doubt turning a light shade of pink just at the thought of her desperately needing to talk to him in the middle of the night.

He shut the door behind them, looking down at her expectantly. “So, what did you need?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck. She noticed the way his hair fluffed up at the touch, and it made her heart beat just a bit faster than before.

“It’s a lot. Do you want to go to the sofas to talk?” She asked, but really she felt like she was just stalling what was bound to happen. He nodded regardless, and they found themselves seated beside each other on the velvety red sofa in front of the always-alight fireplace.

She crossed her legs under her and grabbed a pillow, hugging it to her chest. Her eyes stared at the wisps of fire crackling beside them. Remus found himself growing concerned at the look in her eyes, seeing the fear and confusion in her gaze.

“You know I trust you more than anyone, right, Rem?”

“Yeah,” he lied. Images of her and Sirius whispering in the common room and the hallways and during class when they sat beside each other lingered in his mind as he agreed. Sometimes he worried he would always be second place to his raven-haired friend.

She took a deep breath before burying her face into the pillow she held, wishing she could just scream into it and run back to her dorm room to sleep away this nightmare of a confrontation.

She lifted her eyes to meet his, and she couldn’t help feeling at ease seeing his soft brows and caring gaze back. “I like someone,” she confessed, “I like him a lot, like really bad.”

Even if her voice was muffled by the cushion, he heard what she said. His heart dropped in his chest. He knew this was coming, but he didn’t expect it so soon. He wasn’t prepared. All he could muster was a pathetic, “Ah, okay.”

“I want your advice.” Another pang in his chest. Was he really going to sit here and help her fall in love with another guy? He wanted to die right where he sat, that way he wouldn’t have to endure another second of this torment. “How do I tell him?”

“Guess it depends on the guy.” The guy she fancied was most definitely Sirius, if she liked someone in the group. James was off limits because of Lily being her best friend. Peter wasn’t her type. Remus barely thought of himself as a romantic person; he was neither charming nor charismatic, simply himself. He abandoned her the other night while the record played. He was barely best friend-material, far from boyfriend-material.

Sirius was handsome, charming, flirty, and just around wonderful. He noticed the way her smile dropped when Sirius left them alone in Hogsmeade. He saw the way she smiled whenever he called her that silly nickname. He watched everything happen right in front of his eyes, and he couldn’t do a thing about it. Remus was too afraid to.

“How would you like a girl to confess to you?” she asked further.

He sighed, staring over at the fireplace now. “I suppose I’d want her to be comfortable with me first. Comfortable enough she could just tell me without being nervous. I’d hate to make her feel intimidated,” he explained, “It would have to be private. Not in front of the guys, they would mock me endlessly.”

She urged one last time, wanting to squeeze out any more information he might be willing to give out, “Anything else?”

“I’d like to hear why she chose me. I’m not exactly the friendly type. Nor the funny type. Or the charming type. I don’t have much going for me,” he commented. When he looked back over at her, she was staring down at her hands wrapped around the pillow. She twiddled her thumbs nervously like she always did when she felt some anxiety rolling in.

“And what if she was in love with you? It wasn’t just a crush, it was more than that, has been for a while?”

He felt like crying. He didn’t know why. He was the one that pulled away when they almost kissed the other night. He was the one that brushed off her nicknames and her soft touches, the sweet cheek kisses she gave him when he sat on the couch and she approached silently from behind. He was the one that let her go into the arms of someone else. He let her fall in love with some other guy, and now he felt like a clown for wanting to cry over it.

Remus was beginning to think he just had shit luck, some kind of curse possibly.

“If someone told me they loved me, I would hope I loved them back. I’d hope they’d let me spoil them, kiss them, admire everything about them.”

“And if you didn’t love them back?” She was scared of his answer for this one, knowing there was quite a large possibility that he didn’t love her back. In fact, she was confident that he couldn’t love her. She was so silly and naive, and he was mature. He was so smart and handsome. He’d want someone better than her.

He thought about it for a moment. “I’d much prefer to keep a friend and pretend it never happened than to lose them entirely. I suppose we’d look past it and move on.” It was hard to say what exactly he would do. He’d had random girls come up to him and confess their crushes to him, but it was never anyone he was close with, nor anyone he had to interact with again.

She buried her face into the pillow one more time. Trying to calm her breaths so she didn’t seem suspicious. He wanted her to be relaxed when she confessed to him. She had to be comfortable, and normally she was comfy with him. It was just now she felt herself crumbling under his gaze.

“Can I ask who it is?”

She shook her head, biting her lip to keep herself from saying something stupid. It was taking quite a long time for a Gryffindor girl to muster up the courage to confess her love to a kind boy like Remus. She was never very brave or strong. Not like Lily, Dorcas, or even Marlene.

“Remus,” she started, trying to find the words on her tongue. “Do you like anyone?” She mustered out, somehow finding a way to avoid her confession once again.

He nodded. She was sitting right in front of him, hugging a pillow for dear life as she talked about being in love with some other bloke. He just prayed it wasn’t one of his friends. The heartbreak he would feel knowing she liked Sirius that way would be indescribable.

She felt scared now, even worse than before. She wondered who she was competing with. Probably Dorcas. She was so confident and intelligent, and she had beautiful braids that fit her features perfectly, looking like a goddess every day. Maybe he liked Marlene. Marlene was nice, and oh-so pretty. She could hold a conversation about just anything.

What could Y/N do? Not much.

“Do you think she likes you back?”

“No. Even if she did, I couldn’t be with her.”

“Why not?”

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes shut tiredly. “I’m a freak, Y/N.”

Her eyes widened, and she shook her head furiously. Her hand extended to hold onto his, running her thumb over his knuckles in an attempt to comfort him. Her eyes lifted to meet his, and he could see the conflicting feelings running through her mind.

“You are not a freak. Never say that again.” She was stern with her words, giving his hand a squeeze as she did so. Y/N wanted to reach out and cuddle him to her chest, telling him everything was going to be okay. That he was wonderful, and the man of her dreams.

“I could kill you. You do realize that, right?” He asked, and she just rolled her eyes.

“Yes, and James could come down here and Avada Kedavra me out of existence. Every full moon you come back to me worse than any of the others, so if anything, I’d say you’re more of a threat to yourself than anyone else.”

“Still, I hardly deserve it. She’s just so…” He peered over at her and then back to the fire. “Perfect.”

“And you aren’t?” She stared into the fire, too afraid to make eye contact. “Remus, you are so kind to me. You’re so charming and smart.” He felt himself blush at her generous compliments. It wasn’t often someone said such nice things about him. It meant so much, especially coming from her.

“Thanks. You’re not too bad yourself,” he replied calmly, but inside he felt his little heart might implode from joy. It didn’t take much for her to get his heart racing.

She continued, this time her voice just above a whisper. “I could fall asleep listening to just your voice, or your laugh. I’m addicted to hearing it.” The room was quiet save for the crackling of the wood logs in the fireplace and her quickened breaths. He didn’t say anything. He really didn’t know how to reply to that.

She took his silence as a means to keep going, to just display her heart for him to see. It was such a vulnerable moment, one where she felt weak. Powerless. Desperate.

“I spend my nights thinking about you. I hope you don’t mind, and I promise I’m not a weirdo, but I kept the jumper you lent me at Hogsmeade. It smells like you and I’m terrified it’ll lose your scent. I sleep with it just to pretend you’re close to me,” she confessed, feeling the fear leave her body the more she spoke. It was relieving to finally get this off her chest. To tell him everything she’d been keeping to herself.

“I’m not very good at this sort of thing, so forgive me. The girls just told me if I didn’t tell you tonight they were gonna lock me out of the dorms for the night. I know you just said not to be intimidated, but I am. I’m so scared, I’m shaking,” she commented, raising one of her hands to show the tremors that ran through her arm into her shaky wrist. “I’m so hopelessly in love with you, Remus. I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“This isn’t some sort of elaborate prank, right?”

“Of course not. I’m not cruel.”

He leaned back on the couch and shut his eyes, keeping himself calm to avoid the tears that would inevitably gather in the corners of his eyes. He was so lonely. He was so scared of everyone hating him one day and leaving him behind. He never even imagined a girl as beautiful as Y/N walking into his life and falling in love with him for who he was.

“Remus? Are you okay?” she questioned nervously, worried that she really had ruined everything despite what he said earlier about pretending it never happened and moving on with their lives. She reached out to rest her hand gently on his upper arm.

He turned to her, looking down at her shy self hiding behind a throw pillow. She was so adorable, so perfect and pretty he felt like he was living in a dream. He tried to pinch himself awake, but she stayed the same.

Remus really didn’t know what overcame him in that moment but he felt himself lurch forward, hands going to cup both her cheeks. His lips found hers, and his eyes squeezed shut. It wasn’t until he felt her kissing back with just as much fervor that he relaxed. Her lips moved slowly against his, so soft and plump against his chapped ones.

She pulled away for a moment, her lips just barely touching his as she laughed, “Guess you love me back?”

He just kissed her again. And again. And maybe a few more times after that.

#remus lupin x reader #harry potter fanfic #harry potter x reader #marauders era #remus lupin #remus lupin fanfic #hp fanfic #harry potter #remus lupin one shot #remus lupin x you

196 notes · View notes

weasleykisses · 4 months

Text

You’re So Pretty III (Remus x Reader)

A/n: Remus wants more than anything to kiss you, but he just cant. He doesn’t want to hurt you, but avoiding you is even worse. (Also, note that reader in this is shorter than Remus since he’s like 6’2 canonically. Im really sorry if you’re taller than him)

Word count: 6.2k

_______

Sirius had snatched her up from the couch and spun her around in so many circles she felt dizzy. The skirt to her dress swung back and forth. Music from the old, muggle record player rang out in the common room. Y/N couldn’t stop laughing. She moved so gleefully, barefooted on the carpet to keep her from falling over some clunky shoes.

James was dancing with Lily, and Y/N felt her chest inflate with a bit of pride. For James getting the girl he’s always been dreaming of, and for Lily finally facing her biggest fear of loving that mischievous boy.

She felt light as air. The spiked hot chocolate running through her veins, the smell of peppermint and pine needles in the air, and the flickering light from the fireplace behind her. She couldn’t remember the last time she laughed so hard, nor could she remember a time she felt this alive.

Remus sat on the couch, not a drop of liquor running through him. He preferred to stay sober anyway, just to make sure everyone made it out unharmed. He couldn’t help but stare at her though, Y/N L/N, with the most beautiful smile he’d ever laid eyes on. She was dancing with Sirius, as her friend twirled her around and dipped her backwards a bit, causing a squeal to leave her lips.

The two of them looked so incredibly happy to be with each other. Remus felt like he was intruding on their privacy just sitting there taking a peek. The way she smiled so brightly at Sirius, her cheeks flushed and her corners of her eyes crinkled from smiling so much. He could hear her laughter and the way she yelped and clung to him when he dipped her a bit too far back.

Remus was convinced that those two belonged together. They had such a strong friendship. It ruined his mood whenever he saw them so close with each other, not having come to terms with his eventual heartbreak no matter how hard he tried.

When Sirius let go so he could go pour himself another drink, Peter was quick to jump in his place, taking Y/N by the hands and dancing back and forth to the upbeat song. Peter was always quite shy around girls, but Y/N made him feel comfortable. She was just so soft and sweet, kind to a fault. Remus Lupin understood why everyone was so endeared by the girl.

Y/N didn’t mind his furry little problem. Despite all his fears and his doubts, she promised him time and time again that she didn’t mind that he was a werewolf. She would sit in the infirmary for hours just holding his hand and telling him jokes, trying to cheer him up the best she could given the circumstances.

Every time he looked at her, he felt a pang in his chest. Something so strong he thought he might be having a heart attack at times. She would gaze at him with that dreamy look in her eyes, and he would positively melt under her glance, under her smile. She was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.

She was too good for him. Y/N was pure and innocent, never one to get in trouble or hurt anyone else. He was a monster, that much was clear enough. He could harm her if she ever found a way to interfere with his transformation. She might be okay with things now, but if they got any closer, there was a good chance he might chase her away. Still, it was tempting to stand up and wrap his arms around her to dance just like his friends did.

Yet, he wasn’t them. He wasn’t a harmless flirt like Sirius Black, nor was he a quidditch star and hopeless romantic like James Potter, he wasn’t even friendly like Peter Pettigrew. He was just himself, the guy who turned into a beast every full moon and injured himself horribly every time. He was the guy who had scars all over his body, certainly too ugly in comparison with her smooth, soft skin.

So he buried his nose further into the novel he was reading and tried not to think about her. He tried to tune out her contagious laughter, and the beat of the songs. Godric, he tried.

She clutched at Peter’s hands and swung her hips to the music. Even through her slightly tipsy haze, she could feel tension running off Remus into the common room. His hesitation was palpable. Quietly, she excused herself from her dance with the short blond boy, saying she was just gonna get another shot before returning.

She made her way to the coffee table in front of Remus’ seat on the couch. She poured a bit of hot cocoa into her mug and just enough fire whisky for a kick.

“Remus,” she hummed, taking a seat beside him. He shivered at the touch of her thigh flush against his. She was so warm. Her fingers tapped at the edge of his novel, urging for him to shut it.

“Y/N,” he replied, watching as she took a sip of her drink and sighed, feeling that familiar burn in her throat. “Taking a break for a minute?”

“I suppose, but I came over to see you. You don’t seem like you’re having a good time,” the girl told him softly, “Don’t you want to dance with us? Or at least with me?”

His heart skipped a beat at her question. Yes, he would very much want to dance with the girl of his dreams, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do so. He was just so afraid of messing up.

“I’m just people watching.”

“Oh, come on now. I promise I won’t laugh if you step on my feet,” she giggled, poking him gently in the side. “I’d love to get at least one dance in with each one of you. I’ve already danced with Sirius, Peter, and Jamie. You’re the final piece of the puzzle.”

“Sweetheart, try as you might, I’m not getting up to dance around, even if it is with you.” She felt her heart skip a beat at the nickname. Sure, everyone had names for her, but coming from the dirty blond felt so much more enchanting. She loved when he called her sweetheart, darling, or love. Maybe he used the same terms with other girls, she didn’t know, but she still felt special regardless.

She grabbed the book from out of his hands and stuck the bookmark in between the pages to save his spot. Quickly she took another sip from her mug before extending a hand to him. “Please. For me, Remus,” she asked.

His heart couldn’t say no, even if his brain was begging him to. He took her hand in his, which normally he wouldn’t think so much about, only now he felt like his skin was burning up.

He just liked her so much. He was completely, madly in love with her.

Marlene stood by the record player, looking through Lily’s collection of vinyls, finally deciding on one. Her eyes found their way up to Y/N, where she winked with a little smirk on her lips. The expression confused her for a moment until the record started playing a much slower song than the previous one.

That snake. The betrayal she felt from her friend was too real.

She turned to peer up at Remus, giving him an awkward grin. “We can wait until the next song if you like. This one is more up James and Lily’s alley,” she said nervously, trying not to make it weirder than it already was. Her hand had slipped from his to fiddle with her other hand, picking at her chipping nail polish.

He knew she was right. Maybe they should wait until the next peppy song. Only, he really didn’t want to. He wanted to pull her close to his chest, hold her hands, and twirl her around. Remus shook his head, taking her hand back in his.

Her heart was racing. He wanted to dance with her. Even if it was awfully romantic, he still wanted to. For a moment, she felt hope building up in her chest that this crush she had on him wasn’t unrequited after all. She still smothered down the thought however, considering it more of a fever dream than the truth.

She nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck, while his gentle hands sat on her waist. Everything around her was so overwhelming, the touch against her waist, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, the feeling of Marlene and Dorcas staring from their place at the record player. Her eyes couldn’t meet his, instead peering down at her feet.

He took that opportunity to gaze at her; how bashful she was, the way her cheeks were flushed and her nervous smile, her gaze focused down on the floor no doubt because she was embarrassed.

How could she be so comfortable around Sirius for dozens of songs, yet so nervous when it came to a single dance with him? Did she not want to dance with him? Was he too close? He didn’t know what was going through her mind, but naturally his brain went to the worst case scenarios before the positive ones.

“Did you have a fun time tonight?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah. It’s been great. Wish you’d joined the festivities a little earlier though,” she commented, “I know you’re not shy.”

“I just liked seeing everyone happy together. That’s more than enough.”

She nodded, agreeing with him. He was also so observant, watching everyone while they fooled around. He never instigated pranks, but you could bet he was there watching from the side. He was always there trying to make things better for everyone. There were so many things to appreciate about him, like how he offered her chocolate when she was hurt, or when he would sit in the Astronomy tower with her when she was crying.

“I want to see you happy, too,” she told him. “You’re always looking out for everyone else, but what about you?”

“Just being with you is enough,” he confessed, but quickly corrected himself, feeling a bit too awkward with that answer, “With all of you guys, of course.”

If only he’d have kept the first statement, she thought. Of course she wasn’t special like that. She didn’t brighten his day, not like the others did. She was the least beautiful of all the girls, not the smartest either. Remus liked smart girls. Ones that would sit and read with him, study together, talk about random things for hours. She wasn’t that smart, not like the Ravenclaw girls.

Lily was still dancing with James as she peered behind Remus, and Sirius was trying to get Marlene to slow dance despite her opposition to the idea. Peter sat at the table drinking another cup of hot cocoa, but his eyes would trail up every now and then to his group of friends, noticing things about everyone. No doubt the boy noticed the way Remus was staring down at her with puppy love in his eyes, or the way she was now stumbling a bit on her feet as the nerves got to her.

It was wonderful, she thought, as his hands held onto her waist a little tighter, as if she was going to blow away in the wind. Everything was so perfect. The twinkling of the lights around the room, the wreaths with mistletoe hanging from them, the big Christmas tree towards the center of the room lit up with enchanted candles. The windows were frosted over from the snow that day, and she could see the individual snowflakes sparkling when the light hit them just right. It was beautiful.

Y/N was beautiful.

He wanted to kiss her. He never wanted to kiss anyone more than he did right then as the girl pressed her body closer to his so they were rocking back and forth. His heart beat against her ear that rested on his chest, and he prayed it wasn’t racing.

He reached down, tilting her chin up with one hand, the other still wrapped tightly around her. Finally, she had to gaze up at him instead of wandering the room.

It felt like he was going to kiss her. She couldn’t think of anything else. By Godric, she wanted to be kissed by him. It would complete what she already thought was a perfect night. To finally get a kiss from the boy she’d come to fancy far more than she should.

“Rem, what is it?” She whispered. He felt himself leaning closer, but paused before he could go any further.

He opened his mouth to say something, anything really. Yet, no words came out. He just stared at her e/c eyes for a moment before a wave of guilt washed over him.

He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t be holding her so close. He shouldn’t be falling in love with her. He didn’t deserve to. A monster, that’s all he was. A disgusting and dangerous beast. Even if she disagreed, it wasn’t fair to her. He hated that his friends helped him with his problem, and he hated even more the thought of Y/N getting swept up into it as well.

He dropped both his hands from her body and took a step back, his eyes now glued to the floor. “I don’t know what came over me, Y/N. I should go.”

As if she could keep him from leaving, the girl grabbed his hand. It broke her heart when he tore his hand from her grip, walking over to the table and grabbing his book for the night.

“Remus, I’m sorry. Whatever I did wrong, I’ll fix it. You don’t have to leave,” she tried to reason with him, practically begging for him not to go. She felt like she’d fucked everything up somehow, made him uncomfortable. She knew it was a wrong idea to dance to this song with him. To try and make something that was just friendly into something romantic.

He just sighed, shaking his head. “You didn’t do anything.”

She watched as he walked up the stairs to the dorm rooms, listening to the door shut and the handle click into place. Her shoulders slumped and she caught the eyes of Marlene and Dorcas by the record player, seeing their sympathetic expressions.

It was okay if Remus didn’t like her back. She wouldn’t have a problem with that. It just hurt to know he didn’t want to do something as simple as dance with her. It hurt to know that he grimaced when he looked down at her. That the sight of her made him want to run away.

She suddenly felt sick. With a thud, she plopped down on the couch beside Sirius and Peter, picking up her mug to take a long sip. “Mind pouring me another, Siri?” Y/N asked, holding out her cup to him.

“Y/N, Moony really didn’t mean anything by it. He’s just confused,” Sirius tried to reassure her, but she only shook her glass, waiting for her drink. At least she could get so drunk she forgot about everything that happened. The raven haired boy poured her another shot.

“It’s okay. I don’t even know why I’m disappointed. We’re only friends.”

Peter looked at Sirius knowingly. Everyone knew except for her and perhaps Remus, but he was good at picking up on things. She didn’t want to be friends, but she couldn’t just ask him out. It was too intimidating.

“Listen, you’re a great girl. Any guy would be lucky to have you, you know that, right?” Sirius asked her, and Peter was quick to nod in agreement.

“I don’t like Remus.” That was a blatant lie.

“Well, if you did, don’t give up on him. He’s rough around the edges, but he really is a good guy.”

She knew he was a good guy. That’s why she fell for him in the first place. He was so kind and charming. Remus was so smart too, leaving her swoon whenever he tutored her in something she struggled with.

She tried to hide her expression, looking off to the floor away from the boys. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes, and she bit her lip to hide her quickened breaths. It was always hard accepting the fact that Remus didn’t like her, not in the way she liked him.

“Oh no, angel, please don’t cry,” Sirius pleaded, noticing the way her eyes had begun glistening with fresh tears. He raised his hand, one lifting her head softly while the other ran a thumb across her cheeks, brushing away the droplets that fell. “I promise, it’s going to be okay.”

“Then why does he do that?” She asked, quite pathetically. She appreciated Sirius for talking to her about this, and chose to keep her secret safe and sound. “He leads me on and then runs away. Does he not realize what he’s doing?” She wiped the tears from her eyes but they were quick to gather again. Remus had to make everything so difficult sometimes.

She was so confused in how she felt. On one hand, she absolutely, without a doubt, loved Remus Lupin with all her heart. On the other hand, she felt like giving up. Time and time again he made her feel special, made her feel loved and cared for, only for him to correct himself. He would leave her standing there, crestfallen and thinking she had done something wrong.

A sob escaped her lips, and she was quick to latch onto Sirius. Her hands clutched at the back of his shirt while she pressed her face into his collar. She just cried while he brushed down her hair and rubbed her back comfortingly. She could count on the Black to be there whenever something happened between her and his best mate.

“Y/N, you’re a catch if I’ve ever seen one. Don’t let ol’ Moony bring you down,” Peter tried to soothe her, reaching up to place a hand on her knee.

“He doesn’t deserve you, angel,” Sirius muttered against her head.

Despite his soothing, she kept crying until she’d run out of tears for the night. She bid Sirius a goodnight before heading into her dorm. She curled tightly into a ball once in the comfort of her own bed. In her hands was Remus’ sweater, which she hugged to her chest. She was such a dumbass for getting attached to an emotionally unavailable boy.

The worst part is, no matter what he did, she still loved him.

____

“You absolute prat! You’ve got to stop fucking with her feelings,” Sirius scolded after entering their dorm room and shutting the door so anyone left lingering in the halls or the common room couldn’t eavesdrop. He glared at his friend who laid in his bed with a pillow covering his head.

“Leave me alone, Pads,” the boy groaned, refusing to move the pillow from his head, instead hugging it tighter to his face. A part of him wished he could smother himself and make all of this end.

Sirius rolled his eyes, walking over to his own bed and sitting back against the headboard while his feet stretched toward the end of the bed. He crossed his arms over his chest. “You didn’t have to make her cry.”

“She cried?”

“Yeah, not that you stuck around to see it. She thinks you hate her. That you’re disgusted by her,” Sirius told him with a scowl. He was awfully protective of the girl, finding her shyness adorable and her excitement for the little things in life to be admirable. It sucked seeing her chasing after someone and having her heart broken time and time again.

He’d never tell Remus that Y/N had a crush on him. That wasn’t his place. However, he wouldn’t let Remus get away with treating her like shit while they were “just friends”.

Remus sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, finally tearing the pillow off his face and letting it drop to the floor. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Maybe bloody kiss her when you’re clearly thinking about it. Ever thought of that?”

“And if she doesn’t like me? Then what?”

Remus was still convinced Y/N had a thing for Sirius. She was always smiling when she was with him. She let him flirt with her all he wanted and he noticed the way her face flushed when he was particularly bold. He noticed them hanging out when no one else was around. He noticed all of it, and it hung over him like a storm cloud. Genuinely, it made him feel so isolated. His best mate and the only girl he’d ever really cared for like this, together doing Godric knows what.

“Then you go back to being friends. Does she seem like the judgemental type?”

“No, but it would be awkward.”

“Only if you make it awkward.”

Remus sighed deeply, rolling over on his side to face his friend, his head propped up in his palm. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t be with her.”

Sirius already knew all about what Remus was talking about. He had droned on about it before, how he was so afraid of him being a werewolf and being in a relationship with anyone, much less Y/N. “Don’t start with the self-deprecating shit, mate. You know she doesn’t care if you’re a werewolf or not.” It was a pretty lousy excuse if you asked him. “She loves you, Moony.”

“She does not love me,” Remus argued back, confident in his reply, more confident than he was in most anything in the world. She loves you, he wanted to say. The thought was headache inducing, making him sick to the stomach.

And that was the end of it. No matter what Sirius said, it all went right through Remus. He was determined to keep this girl at arms’ length, even if it tore him up inside to do so. She was just so lovely. She plagued his every waking thought when she was in the room, or even when someone simply mentioned her. Yet, she didn’t care for him that way. They just happened to be friends.

Not to mention the boy was far from blind when it came to love, like the ones he read about in his novels. The looks and touches he’d seen between Y/N and his friend were remarkably full of love and care, something she didn’t have with him. If only Sirius could see that, maybe then he could be the one to make her happy. Instead, he was here lecturing him on how to make Y/N happy. Perhaps if he wasn’t such a flirt, none of this would even be a problem.

He just groaned into his pillow and shut himself out from the world around him, no longer responding to what Sirius had to say to him. He was done. He was done with all this nonsense. All this romance bullshit, no matter how much it made his heart race or the gears turn in his mind. He was done.

______

Only, that was harder said than done when seeing her in person after that night.

She continued to be lovely, friendly, normal - only now he could sense the waves of sadness and discomfort that poured off her person when the group hung out together.

Her heart ached since Remus ran away from her. He had done similar before, but she always forgave him. He was complicated. He was secretive with his emotions. That was one of many things she’d come to respect about him after knowing him for so many years.

She cried that night, and when the other girls came to bed, they comforted her. She didn’t have to tell them what happened. They already knew. It seemed like everyone around her knew about her crush on him.

But life goes on, and she woke up the next morning to the rest of the girls getting ready for class. She pinched her cheeks to bring some life into them, and watched as her smile turned up in the mirror, making sure it was as genuine as it usually was. She was a strong girl, and one incredibly handsome and charming boy was not going to bring her crumbling down. She’d done enough crying.

Sitting next to Remus at the table was far from comfortable, but she was able to do it. She just leaned a little bit further into Sirius’ side than she normally would, something that made Remus feel more defeated than anything. He had given up on pursuing her, almost entirely, only the remnants of his heart still yearning for her. As he watched the way she cuddled up on him, it wasn’t hard to see she found comfort in the raven haired boy.

He could only sigh to himself, dipping his spoon into his porridge for another depressing bite.

She also talked a bit more with James than she ever would in one sitting, with the two of them having so little in common. She took the time to compliment all the girls on their hair and makeup that morning. She talked to Lily about their Potions class that afternoon, and the book she had propped up in front of her. Anything to keep herself from having to discuss with Remus what happened that night before. Anything to avoid talking to him in general, actually.

Breakfast went by slowly, as did their Transfiguration class where Y/N sat in her normal seat beside her friend, who she desperately wanted to be more-than-a-friend. She tried to think of a way she could find herself escaping this terribly unfortunate situation involving unrequited love. She could confess to the boy on the off chance he actually did reciprocate, but that seemed highly unlikely.

She could try and find someone else to fancy for the rest of their seventh year, but she doubted that would happen. He was just so perfect, no one else would compare. No one looked like him, nor did they sound like him or smell the same. There was no one as intelligent as him besides sweet Lily, and she certainly wasn’t going to fancy the red headed girl.

The only option seemed to be just living with her crush until it naturally went away. As miserable as that suggestion seemed, it was the most sound of all her ideas.

She found herself so distracted that she didn’t even notice when McGonagall called on her, “Miss L/N, please do answer the question.”

The seconds passed like minutes and she found her mouth growing dry from embarrassment. How could she be so careless? She almost never zoned out during class, much less found herself being challenged by a professor. She wasn’t lovestruck like James, was she?

Just as she was about to admit defeat, Remus tapped the edge of his notebook. Written down was the word, “avifors spell” which she quickly found herself repeating aloud.

“Thank you. Please pay attention, everyone.”

An exhale of relief left her lips, and she peered over at Remus with grateful eyes. She mouthed a ‘thank you’ and he just nodded with a small smile.

She tried to ignore how he made her feel the rest of their day together. When they studied in the library because it was a Thursday and they weren’t going to break their schedule, she tried smothering the butterflies that fluttered. She felt his soft gaze trained on her as she stared down at her homework. She tried her hardest to swallow her gasp when he leaned over her shoulder, his face dangerously close to hers, pointing out her mistakes on the worksheet. She desperately wished she could ignore the smell of parchment and chocolate wafting off his body as he spoke to her.

“Y/N? Are you alright?” he asked, breaking her from her daze. She nodded, quickly marking the paper where he had questioned one of her answers. “We can stop for the day, if you want-”

“You’re probably right. I feel like my brain is totally fried from all this studying,” she replied quickly, shutting her textbook and setting her quill on the table beside her worksheets. She was dying to finish up this study session so she could crawl back into her bed and pretend that she didn’t spend the first half of the day with her massive crush who definitely didn’t like her back.

He furrowed a brow, having thought the day’s session had gone by quite fast. He didn’t like it. Usually she sat with him for a good hour or two just discussing the day, talking about books and gossip and whatever else she had on her mind. Instead, it seemed she was running away from him. He should have expected that though, knowing what he had done the night before.

Regardless, he packed up his belongings right alongside her, making sure the last of his inkwells was thoughtfully tucked away before motioning for her to follow him out into the hallways. With a ducked head, she followed him, not wanting to seem weird going her own way when they normally would walk back to the common room together. She tried to ignore the shivers that went down her spine when their fingers skimmed against each other walking side by side.

If she were brave, or maybe stupid, she would have reached out to hold his hand. She itched to touch him. To feel him pressed against her again like the night before when they danced together. God, she just wanted to hold his hand. It wasn’t crude or vulgar at all, but she felt so inappropriate - so wrong for wanting him when he clearly wasn’t interested in her.

Perhaps he could sense her trepidation, or maybe she was just very obvious in how uncomfortable she felt, but he cautiously approached the topic, “Darling?” he asked quietly, with all the sincerity and care he normally displayed.

She couldn’t deny the skip of her heart at the sweet nickname, one of many that he used for her. Whether she was his dove, love, or darling, it made her heart jump. “Yes, Remus?” she replied, stopping and turning to look back at him, craning her neck up to meet his eyes, his gorgeous eyes that caught the sunlight coming in from the windows, honey brown and golden.

“I can tell something is wrong,” he started, rubbing the back of his neck and fluffing up his hair nervously.

“Really, it’s okay-”

“No, it’s really not,” he said firmly, Sirius’ lecture from the night before running through his mind. He thought of her crying when he ran off to his dormitory, feeling like shit after being abandoned like that. He thought of her that morning at breakfast doing her best to ignore him, biting her lip to keep the frown from reaching her lips. He continued, “I’m so stupid. It wasn’t my intention to make you feel unwanted.”

Unexpectedly, Remus reached out, taking one of her delicate hands in his own, running a thumb along her knuckles. She stood there as calmly as she could, but her heart was beating a mile a minute and she prayed to Godric that he couldn’t tell from her expression. He was too busy worrying about his own racing heart and sudden dry mouth to notice anyway. “I was scared.”

She asked, so quiet it was a wonder he even heard her, “Scared of what?”

He took a deep breath before explaining himself, drawing her towards the corner of the corridor, away from prying eyes. She felt herself grow even more flushed, knowing they were tucked in this secluded little corner while he held her hand so carefully in his own. She had that familiar feeling creep up and sink its fangs into her, daring her to act on thoughts she shouldn’t be having. Thoughts that entailed reaching up on her tiptoes and pressing a kiss to his lips, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. Thoughts of grabbing his cheeks in her hands and pulling him down to meet her halfway.

The heavy grandfather clock at the end of the hall ticked as time slowly passed, and she waited with baited breath for him to reply.

“Scared of how much you mean to me. You’re my best friend, Y/N. I know you’re a smart girl, and you’re incredibly brave, but you know I have my problems…” he tried to say.

“Remus! Shush. You know that means nothing to me. You’ll always be my best friend no matter what.”

“Which is exactly why you’re blind to the reality that I am dangerous, and I don’t want you getting into harm’s way,” he argued back as she stared at him, her eyes glazed over with something he didn’t quite recognize. “I’m worried about you. I care about you so fucking much, Y/N.”

“But-”

“But, the more time you spend with me, the closer you get to seeing the worst parts of me. That’s what I’m scared of.” He paused, his chest lifting heavily and falling back down. “I need you to understand that. I-I need you, and I can’t keep you if I scare you away.” His words shook, and she felt his hands begin to shake as they held onto her own. She clutched him a bit tighter, trying to calm him down.

She swore her heart nearly stopped beating in her chest at his words, those desperate words that fell from his lips. It was almost like he was telling her he loved her. Almost.

But they were only best friends. He’d made that clear.

“I care about you, too, Remus. I’ll do whatever is best for you. That’s what I want.”

“What’s best for me is that you’re happy and safe.”

She flushed at his words, finding herself growing hot in the face and lowering her head to hide her flustered expression. He had such a way with words, one that made her positively swoon. How did he not notice? He was awfully charming and romantic for someone who seemingly refused to even try and date.

The words hung off his lips, waiting to fall out in the open after all this time. I love you, he wanted to say. I love you so fucking much it hurts, he wanted to cry. Yet, he couldn’t do it.

He peered over her shoulder at the walkway, catching sight of James and Sirius walking down the corridor towards them. He motioned in their direction, and quickly he dropped her hand, taking a modest step away from her. With confusion and hurt in her eyes, she looked back to him as the blood drained from her cheeks. Was he embarrassed to be close to her around his guy friends? Was holding her hand that serious of a crime that it warranted such abruptness?

Much to her displeasure, she was caught off guard when Remus seemingly bumped her in Sirius’ direction, actually causing her to stumble into the dark-haired boy and latch onto his arms to steady herself.

She turned back to peer at him, questioning what he was doing, only to find his eyes glued elsewhere. He stared at the broom that James held in his hands, the one he was excitedly talking about. His eyes were clearly just there so he could avoid her gaze, one that flashed with heartache. That boy sure had a way with breaking hearts, she thought, feeling herself beginning to fall limp against her other friend.

“Why hello, angel,” Sirius laughed, helping her regain her footing. The laughter from his mouth, however, was awkward, and his eyes flashed nervously between Remus and Y/N as they had come to do so often recently. He sensed the tension, and he noticed the sadness that plagued Y/N like a rain cloud perpetually above her head. “Not interrupting, are we?” he asked cautiously.

“No, we were just talking.” But he knew that was a lie. James seemed to be the only one oblivious to the situation at hand. She frowned, her eyes leaving Remus and lifting to find those of her concerned friend. “Hey, Sirius, James.”

“Hey, guys. We were just heading to the dining hall for lunch. You coming with?”

“Sure,” Y/N said, but Remus had other plans.

“Actually, I have somewhere I’ve got to be. I’ll see you at dinner though,” Remus said, waving to his friends as he took a few steps backward. The three of them watched him go, and when he finally turned the corner, Y/N let her shoulders drop heavily, a sigh leaving her lips. So much for the little moment they were having before.

He certainly had a habit of running away when she needed him there the most, didn’t he?

Part Four is out. (Honestly, as I write this I’m finding myself rooting for Sirius a bit ngl. Should I do two endings, one for Sirius and one for Remus perhaps?)

#harry potter #harry potter x reader #remus lupin x reader #harry potter fanfic #remus lupin #marauders era #hp fanfic #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin one shot #remus lupin x you

244 notes · View notes

weasleykisses · 4 months

Text

Thank you to everyone who's liked my fics so far. The praise i got on my first Remus fanfic is beyond my wildest dreams, truly, thank you. I'm trying to work on finishing the new remus series this week.

Lots of Love,

Kelly

8 notes · View notes

weasleykisses · 4 months

Text

You’re So Pretty II (Remus Lupin x Reader)

(GIF not mine)

A/N: friends to lovers, fem!reader, jealous!remus, remus loves you but he’s so terribly scared of a relationship, Hogsmeade bookstore dates

Warning: very short (like three sentences) mention of sexual thoughts.

Word count: 4.1k

________

Y/N smiled as the snow sizzled under her feet. Her and Remus walked side by side behind the rest of the gang, heading over to Hogsmeade Saturday afternoon to get a well deserved break from classes and studying.

She hid her face behind her thick scarf, her gloved hands buried deep in her winter coat pockets, protecting herself from the chilly breeze. She wanted to reach over and hold his hand, to feel the warmth from his skin against her. She didn’t try though, too afraid to be so forward with him.

“Lily said she’d be at Honeydukes today so I’m probably going to hang around there until I run into her,” James told everyone. Y/N rolled her eyes. Even when they were out as friends, he was still falling head over heels for that girl. Lily was one of her best friends, sometimes it just got annoying hearing her friend talk about her constantly all day.

“Oh, I thought we were gonna go to the Three Broomsticks?” Y/N asked, tilting her head a bit to the side with a frown etched on her lips.

James shook his head, waving off to his friends. “Maybe I’ll catch you guys later, yeah?” He walked in the opposite direction of the little restaurant they were headed to. She just shook her head. Typical of that loverboy to leave. She was grateful that Remus never had anyone else to go to, any other girls he wanted to follow around. She was used to Sirius and James doing so, not so much Peter though. He was always quite unpopular with the ladies.

The Three Broomsticks was quite loud, as you would expect on a busy Saturday with all the Hogwarts kids coming to hang out and get drinks. Y/N decided on a hot butterbeer and salty chips, finding herself awfully hungry from the walk over to the little village.

She was tucked into the booth, closest to the inner wall with Remus to her right and Sirius and Peter across the table facing them. Her thigh, only covered by thin black tights under her short corduroy skirt pressed to Remus’ corduroy slacks, and a chill ran down her spine at the thought of being so close. He didn’t seem to mind that their thighs touched, and his arm rested against hers. Nor did he notice the way he could turn his head and be mere centimeters away from kissing her, if he wanted.

Y/N wanted to be kissed. Whether it be in front of the boys or in private, she wished every night before she went to sleep that the dirty blond would kiss her silly. That he would cradle her cheeks in the palms of his hands, tilting her head up to meet his. That he would press his soft lips to hers and run far away with her heart. She wanted to drown in him, if he would just let her.

But she refrained. She kept her eyes trained forward on Sirius, listening as he went on about some problem he had in transfigurations with Professor McGonagall.

Remus couldn’t help but wish she would stop looking at Sirius like that, like he was the most interesting person in the world. He wanted her to look at him that way. Instead she always shied away, ducking her head or looking off beyond his shoulder. Did she hate looking at him? Was he that unattractive? Thoughts rushed through his mind, he barely noticed Sirius was talking at all.

He was conscious of her leg pressed to his, practically sitting in his lap at this point. His eyes ran quickly over the hem of her skirt which rode up a bit when she slid down the booth. What would her thighs feel like in his hands, or pressed to the sides of his head. If it was anything like the mere feeling of her pressed to him in the booth, he might as well explode.

Remus, honest to Merlin, didn’t want to think about her in that way. He really didn’t. It was inappropriate and wrong. Still, her face flashed through his mind, what it would look like if he was hovering over her, and the sounds she would make as he eased in and out of her. He was filthy, a pervert. He knew that. He just couldn’t brush the thoughts from his mind.

It didn’t matter what he thought anyway. Y/N wanted to fuck his best mate, Sirius. He had no chance.

He reached over and took one of her chips, hoping it would distract him as she laughed quietly at a joke Sirius told. He chuckled too, but only to seem like he was paying attention.

“Rem, what do you think?” she asked, and he had to snap back into the conversation quickly.

“Think about what?” He cringed. So much for pretending he was listening before.

“About spending the holiday at the Potters’? Guess you were daydreaming again?” she replied, poking him in the shoulder jokingly.

If only you knew, love.

He shrugged. “Sure. They know how to throw a good party. Is James okay with it?”

“Yep. Not to mention Sirius lives there too so it’s kinda his house as well,” she laughed. “It’ll be like a week-long sleepover.”

The thought definitely interested him. Spending nearly a week with her in the same house. It would give them time away from school to chill out without the looming threat of homework over their shoulders. He knew how worried she got about her classes, considering she never did too well in them.

Just as she was about to say something else, a flustered James rushed through the doors and up to the booth. “Sirius, Pete, you gotta come with me. I need back up.”

“Back up for what?”

“Lily, obviously. She’s here with Marlene, Dorcas, and Mary. I need you two to distract the other girls while I sweep my darling Lily off her feet,” he said, a bit rushed. It was obvious he was under some sort of time crunch. Maybe they were getting ready to leave Honeydukes already.

Y/N quirked a brow. “What about Remus and I?”

“Figured you wouldn’t want to spend your day following me around.”

“And you assumed I would?” Sirius piped up, although he was already sliding out of the booth to do as his friend asked.

“You nerds can go to the bookstore or something. Or Brood and Peck?” James suggested. He peered out the window across the table and spotted Marlene and Lily walking into Honeydukes, that familiar wash of red hair flowing behind her. “Gotta go, sweetheart.”

“See you later, angel, moony” Sirius winked, and with that they were off. Remus tensed at her nickname, as he usually did. It wasn’t abnormal for Sirius to flirt with her, to call her endearing names and send suggestive looks in her direction. He saw the way her eyes pleaded with him to stay, to not leave her behind with plain ol’ Remus.

She waved goodbye to the boys walking out the door before turning to stare down at the plate in front of her. “Sooo, what do you want to do for the rest of the day?” she asked, feeling a bit awkward now that they were completely alone again. She liked hanging out with the boy, it was just hard to maintain her cool when they were alone. She liked when Sirius was around to relieve some of the tension she felt around Remus. “The bookstore is a good choice, or maybe the botanical shop? Whatever you want to do is fine.”

He took a sip from his warm cup of butterbeer and sighed. If only he had the guts to consider this a date. There were dozens of times in which they hung out around Hogsmeade, just the two of them, enjoying the other’s company the best they could. She was willing to go to any of the stores around, she wasn’t very picky. It always felt like they were dating, but he never addressed it. It made him anxious, the thought of confronting her about their friendship.

He chose to ignore it. If anyone brought it up, he just brushed them off like they were wrong and being silly. It was the only way he could cope with his hidden feelings.

“Let’s go to the bookstore. I’ve been meaning to find more Shakespeare. Maybe you’ve got some recommendations,” he told her, knowing that her eyes would light up at the mention of the muggle playwright. He smiled when he noticed the familiar sparkle in her eyes, peering over the rim of his mug.

She clapped her hands together. “Perfect! I have a lot of recommendations, not just Shakespeare either. There are so many classics you might enjoy, if we can find them.” Thankfully the bookstore in Hogsmeade carried quite a few muggle books along with the traditional magical novels written by wizards. “Let me just finish my chips and drink so we can go,” she said, taking another bite of a now room-temperature potato.

She went on to talk about her classes as he sat, his cheek in his palm, watching her silently. He observed the way she perked up at certain topics, and frowned when they moved onto something she disliked. When she found herself drifting off to a discussion about her grades, especially those in Transfigurations and DADA, she grimaced. They were never very easy for her, and he knew that better than anyone as her tutor.

When she was finally finished with her food, she pushed away her empty glass and straightened up in the seat. She pulled a couple coins from her jacket pocket and left them to sit on the table to pay for her snacks, plus his butterbeer which he had been sipping on slowly for the past half-hour or so. He could have listened to her talk for longer, finding it relaxing to hear her voice so at ease, but they had more things to do than just sit around the tavern.

She wrapped herself up in her scarf and hat, buttoning up her jacket to the top notch, knowing it was going to be chilly when she stepped outside. The hearth warmed the little restaurant perfectly, she almost forgot it was winter outside and the snow was piling on the pathways.

As they walked through the crowds, heading to the bookstore, he kept his hand hovering just above the small of her back, careful to touch her gently and not break any boundaries. He wanted to keep her close so as to not lose her in the crowd of students walking by. She didn’t seem to mind the touch either, trekking ahead through the snow.

They entered the bookstore and a little chime rang out above them from the copper bell hanging. She waved to the store owner before heading up the tiny staircase to her favorite second. Muggle Studies and Famous Works.

“So, Remus, what were you thinking of this time? Something funny? Romantic? Tense?”

“Just pick out something you’d think I’d like. I’m sure I’ll enjoy it either way,” he told her, his fingers sliding down the spines of the old hardcovers, reading the titles under his breath. She nodded and started her search for the perfect novel to give her best friend to read. He was an avid reader so she was sure he would like mostly anything she suggested.

She grabbed a Shakespeare comedy, followed by a couple other classics such as A Portrait of Dorian Gray, which always reminded her of Sirius a bit, and Pride and Prejudice which reminded her quite a bit of some of the romances she had seen occur at Hogwarts. She climbed down from the ladder she stood on to reach the books and handed the pile off to her friend, who was still just wandering aimlessly around the second floor of the store.

“Find some good ones?” he asked.

She nodded, handing him the three books. “These should last you a while. I picked a couple different genres in case you didn’t like one of them you could move onto the next,” she told him. He peered down at the covers and nodded. If she suggested them, she didn’t have to worry about him not liking them. He would read anything she suggested and enjoy it, because those books made her happy and in turn, that kept him engrossed as he flipped the pages.

He paid for the books, since she paid for his drink earlier. They were ready to head to another shop, only to pause the second she opened the door to the outside. Quickly, she shut the door with a yelp. “Godric, did it drop ten degrees in the time we’ve been in here? I’m going to freeze to death out there,” she exclaimed. In reality, the wind had picked up and whipped at anyone daring to go outside with icy air.

She shivered, rubbing up and down her arms with her mittens to try and warm herself up a bit.

“Do you want my sweater?” Remus offered, already shrugging off his thick winter coat so he could lift his pullover jumper over his head. He didn’t really think to wait for her reply, automatically ready to give up one of his layers for her.

“Remus, really, you don’t need to do that-” Y/N tried to stop him, but he was already out of his brown tweed jumper before she could do anything about it. She took off her winter coat and slipped on the added layer over her thin sweater. It was warm from him wearing it so close to his body, and it smelled just like him. She felt like she was enveloped in a big hug, and it was wonderful.

“Fits perfectly,” he joked, seeing as the sleeves were a bit too long and the hem went down to mid thigh. It obviously wasn’t made for her, but instead incredibly tall, lanky boys.

They both put their jackets back on, and she adjusted her hat and scarf once again. “Thank you, Rem.”

“No problem. I tend to run hot anyway,” he replied, carrying the books he had just bought under his arm, using his free hand to push open the door and enter the harsh winter streets. When he wasn’t looking, she dipped her head down and pressed the hem of his sleeve to her face, taking in the smell, hypnotized by that reminder of him lingering on his clothes.

He smelled like parchment and ink, like dark chocolate and mint; it was hypnotizing. She had read plenty of books in which the boy gives his jacket to the girl, sparking a bit of romance between the two. She didn’t think Remus meant anything by the kind gesture, however. She was nearly confident that Sirius or James would do the same for her, absent romantic intent. Remus was just so kind and thoughtful. Surely that was the reason he gave her his sweater.

“Did you want to stop anywhere else?”

“Do you want to go pick up those seeds I need from the botanical shop?” she asked. “Professor Sprout said I could grow them for extra credit, and I’m not doing too well in that class right now.”

Remus nodded, turning on his heel to head in the direction of the seed shop, with a chipper girl following closely behind him.

________

He never asked for his sweater back, not even when the group of friends reconvened in the common room after their outing, and she stood in plain sight with his sweater hanging loose from her shoulders. Instead, she sat on the couch beside Sirius, his arm on the couch behind her, his fingers just barely grazing her shoulder. He never meant anything by it really, she and Sirius just had a close friendship. Sirius knew she would never fall in love with him, not like some of the other girls they hung out with. Y/N knew that he just liked to hook up, and he wasn’t about to pull any moves on her. Not when he knew about the crush she had on his best friend, Remus.

Remus didn’t know that though. He only saw his crush, his girl, wrapped up so closely to Sirius at any given opportunity, and he hated it. He hated that Sirius was so confident in himself that he would flirt with anyone. He hated that the other boy was so attractive and charming that all the girls fell for him at some point or another.

He couldn’t stand the jealousy he felt. It made him depressed, sad any time he saw them together. At first, he had only been angry with the situation, but over time he found himself falling apart, unable to fight it any longer. He was just hopeless and lonely.

Y/N glanced over at Remus standing behind the armchair Lily sat in, his arms crossed over his chest with his forearms on display, having rolled up the sleeves on his white shirt.

She was brave. She was in Gryffindor, for fuck’s sake. She could talk to the boy she liked.

The girl stood from her place on the couch, waving to Sirius and Marlene as she did so, walking over to where Remus stood. He eyed her down, his cheeks flushing red at the sight of her bare shoulder hanging out of his jumper. “Y/N?”

“Rem, do you have any chocolate by chance? I’ve got a sweet tooth coming on,” she asked, knowing that he always had some of the sweet treats in stock somewhere on his person or in his room. It was his cure for nearly every ailment imaginable.

He nodded. “In my dorm, yeah. You want some?”

“If you don’t mind,” Y/N hummed, nudging her head in the direction of the four boys’ dorm room just up the stairs. “Let’s go.” She extended her arm, her hand held open for him to take, which he did even if her touch caused a shiver to run down his spine. It was times like this, where she was affectionate with him, that he really felt nervous. Nervous that he would make a mistake.

He felt his hand starting to clam up and he cringed. He didn’t want her holding his warm and sweaty hand. Fortunately, the walk up the stairs to the room was brief and she dropped his hand the second she walked through the doorway. Happily, she walked over to his bed and jumped on it, pressing her face into his pillows with a sigh. She cuddled into the sweater wrapped around her, inhaling the scent of her wolfish friend swallowing her up.

“So, you’re feeling chocolate?” He asked, walking over to his bedside table and opening a drawer. He pulled a couple bars from the drawer, one of them filled with caramel, a treat he knew she liked quite a bit. He tossed it over to her, landing on the bed beside her head.

“Thank you!” She chirped happily, unwrapping the candy bar and taking a bite, smiling as she munched. He took a seat on the bed and leaned against his headboard, sitting up as he broke off a piece of a dark chocolate bar for himself. She rolled onto her side and faced him, propped up on her elbow. “Today was quite fun, don’t you think?”

“Definitely. I’m excited to read the books you recommended.”

“Yeah,” she yawned, “it’ll be fun to discuss when you’re done.”

They laid there for a while talking about books and the next day’s events, including a quidditch match their friends were going to be competing in. He loved just talking to her. No one else entertained him the way she did, with those bright eyes and her round cheeks filled with happiness. No one understood his love of poetic justice in literature as well as she did. He never wanted their conversations to end really, even if they always came to a close one way or another.

After a while, she found herself growing more and more tired, covering her mouth with her hand as she yawned more deeply than before, eyes grown heavy by now. He’d sunk down to lay beside her, their heads sharing a single fluffy pillow. His eyes were trailed up to the canopy above the bed while she watched his profile, every little move of his lips as he spoke and the way his eyes flickered when something caught his gaze.

He felt anxious when she pressed herself into his side, sighing at the warmth coming off his body in waves. He wasn’t opposed to her being so close; he enjoyed it, actually. He just felt sick to his stomach knowing that this wasn’t forever. That she would get up soon to venture back to her own room, leaving him cold and alone on his bed, hanging onto his moment until he was graced with the next one.

“You’re so warm, Remus,” she mumbled in her sleepy haze.

Her voice sent shivers down his spine. “I think you’re just cold.”

“Maybe,” she hummed.

It was only a matter of time before she stopped replying to him about whatever they were talking about and her breaths became soft and slow, signaling that she had fallen asleep in his bed. It wasn’t the first time, but usually he was sitting in Peter or James’ bed and not lying right beside her. Her arm was wrapped loosely around his, the other curled up against her chest.

“Y/N?” He asked quietly, only to be met with the same quiet breaths.

He wanted to lay beside her. He wanted to let her cuddle him all night long as she slept, and wake up beside him in the morning. He wanted to be met with her bright smile when he opened his eyes the next day. God, he wanted to stay the way they were, just like this.

Only, he couldn’t do it. He was afraid. She didn’t deserve to be tied down to him. She was so wonderful and beautiful and kind. She was everything he loved, and he was a monster. He could hurt her if she got any further involved with him and his problems.

He lifted her arm gently, making sure not to wake her up as he rolled off his side of the twin sized mattress. He lifted his heavy quilt to cover her body, making sure she wouldn’t freeze in her sleep when he left her. He didn’t want her to wake up now and explain why he was going to leave her all alone. He certainly wasn’t going to wake her up and kick her out to her own room either.

He would find somewhere else to sleep for the night. Make up a lie in the morning about how he got up and went to the common room, fell asleep by accident on the couch.

He left the room that night with a grimace, regret pooling in his heart at the thought of leaving her behind. He waved to his friends who still hung out in the common room, but their numbers were beginning to dwindle. Marlene and Dorcas had gone to bed and Lily was about to go back to her dorm as well.

He fell asleep that night on the couch and woke up to the sound of early risers getting ready for breakfast. Meanwhile, Y/N woke up in a room that was not hers in a bed that was emptier than she remembered. James snored loudly to her right while Peter’s snores came out more of a light whistling. Sirius sat by his mirror, running a comb through his hair.

“Where’s Remus?” She asked.

“Slept on the couch downstairs.”

All she could do was sigh, a small “oh” leaving her lips. Sirius sent her a sympathetic look, as if he understood how she was feeling. She just fell back on the mattress and stared at the ceiling, wondering why her friend was so persistent on this constant space between them even when they seemed to be growing so close. He was a confusing guy, clearly conflicted with emotions running through that she didn’t understand.

Still, it broke her heart to wake up alone, cold under the blanket he’d left for her, surrounded by friends. So many friends, just not the one she wanted to be there.

Part Three out.

#harry potter #harry potter fanfic #harry potter x reader #marauders era #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #hp fanfic #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin one shot #remus lupin x you #marauders era x reader

291 notes · View notes

weasleykisses · 4 months

Text

"You’re so Pretty" Series (Remus Lupin x Reader)

Summary:

Remus and you very clearly like each other, however, hes determined to keep you at arms length for your sake.

Loosely influenced by the song “ur so pretty” by Wasia Project.

Angsty, friend to lovers, young! Remus Lupin x reader. Also wow, Andrew Garfield looking cute in this picture, I do love a fluffy haired, pretty boy…haha, my fiance's got the fluffiest red hair you'll ever see. Weasley perhaps??

Part One (3.9k)

Part Two (4.1k)

Part Three (6.2k)

Part Four (6.1k)

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x fem!reader #marauders era #marauders fanfiction

301 notes · View notes

weasleykisses · 4 months

Text

You’re So Pretty I (Remus Lupin x Reader)

(GIF not mine)

A/N: Remus and you very clearly like each other, however, hes convinced you have a crush on a mutual best friend. Friend-to-lovers, fem!oblivious!reader, jealous!Remus, mutual pining

Loosely influenced by the song “ur so pretty” by Wasia Project.

word count: 3.9k

________

“Going on another study date, Y/N?” Marlene asked as she watched her dorm mate gather up her books and a couple scrolls into her bag. Y/N rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Don’t lie to yourself. You aren’t just going to study.”

“As a matter of fact, I am going to just study.”

The blonde haired girl wasn’t the only one that pestered Y/N about her crush. Despite never admitting to it directly, her friends ganged up on her and joked about it fairly often. “You won’t learn anything from drooling over Lupin the whole time,” Marlene laughed.

“I do not drool over Remus. He’s just a good study partner.”

“Whatever you say.”

She finished packing her bag and making sure her uniform was straight. Her hands slid down her skirt to smooth it out and through her hair as she looked into the standing mirror. Wanting to look presentable did not mean she was trying to impress him. Definitely not. She just didn’t want to look unkempt, is all.

When she was confident she didn’t look like she just rolled out of bed, she turned to leave her dorm and head to the library. She waved to Marlene who made a heart shape with her hands jokingly. After so long, she’d gotten used to the teasing though, just dismissing her with a ‘tsk’.

She left the common room without another confrontation by one of her friends, walking leisurely to the library where her transfiguration textbook waited. She was never the best in transfiguration, or charms, or defense against the dark arts; truthfully she wasn’t very good at anything most people would would consider important. Her saving grace was care for magical creatures.

Sometimes she felt herself grow so embarrassed by her lack of skill, but Remus never made fun of her for it. He helped her fix the issue, and she was grateful to him for that. He was probably the only reason she passed her classes the past few years.

Kids bustled around the halls and the stairways as she walked through the castle. The sound of her feet clicking on the marble floors kept her occupied as she walked through the familiar walkways. She listened in on some conversations as she passed by, eavesdropping when she shouldn’t.

The only other thing on her mind was her study partner, who she found herself growing awfully attached to over their years at Hogwarts. Now that they were in their seventh year, she occasionally felt herself completely consumed by her crush on him, which she quickly tried to correct by thinking of something else.

It wasn’t that she wanted to smother down her crush on the boy, she just didn’t want it to take over her life. It would never happen, and the inevitable rejection would destroy her. It was normal for her to not get her hopes up, terrified of being disappointed in the end.

Sometimes, she just wanted to forget about him and fancy someone actually obtainable. Someone like the hoard of boys that confessed to her over the years, bringing her flowers and candy and sweet love notes. Only she didn’t like them and couldn’t bring herself to pretend. Her friends asked why she never accepted any of the propositions, to which she would just say she was waiting for someone specific.

Eventually some of her friends figured out who she liked. At first it was Lily, and then the rest of the girls followed suit after seeing her interact with the tall boy enough times. She suspected that Sirius knew as well, knowing how perceptive he was. He would send her some suggestive looks now and again when Remus wasn’t looking, which she just ignored for the most part.

Still, no matter how hard she fought it, she fell deeper and deeper into her infatuation with Remus Lupin. She thought he was the most handsome, smart, kind boy she’d ever met. He was just perfect in her eyes. He could do no wrong.

And so, she found herself drowning in her feelings for the boy. Honestly, it was difficult to keep afloat. To be around him and pretend she just wanted to be a friend. To pretend she didn’t want to cuddle him when they sat on the couch together. To pretend she didn’t want to kiss him every time he smiled her way.

Before entering the library, she took a deep breath and smoothed down her hair once more. Confident in her ability to socialize with him without completely falling apart, she pushed open the heavy wood door and into the large room filled with whispering voices and floating textbooks.

Remus sat in their normal spot towards the corner where not a lot of people crowded around. It was quieter, and he preferred that. For Y/N, she was just happy to get more one on one time with him. The other marauders wouldn’t step foot in the library so she didn’t worry about them. Lily maintained her distance when she was studying. She wanted to give the pair some “private time”, as she had said once when teasing her friend.

“Hey, Rem,” she quietly greeted him, giving him a small wave. He peered up from the novel he was reading, giving her a warm smile back. It was adorable. Everything he did was adorable, really.

She took a seat beside him, setting her bag to the side. She pulled out her transfiguration textbook. He was particularly good in this subject, so this would be easier than something like Charms.

“How are you?” He asked.

“I’m fine. How was your day?”

“It was okay. The guys are planning a new prank for tomorrow so they’ve been pestering me about that,” he told her, and she nodded. He loved their pranks secretly, not wanting to come across as immature. Not to mention, James could be a little overwhelming. Especially when he spent the nights with Sirius planning, keeping the other two boys awake.

She grinned brightly. “Oh really? What are they gonna do?” She loved pranks, as long as they weren’t directed towards her. They were an escape from the strictness of the school, not to mention a relief when certain Slytherin were involved.

“Stink bombs in the Slytherin locker room. Nothing fancy.”

“Sounds exciting.”

“I suppose.”

Her eyes trailed down the book that was sitting in his lap now. To get a better look, she leaned closer to him and tried to read the upside text. “What are you reading today?” It was normal that they exchanged books after reading it, that way they could discuss the novels together once they were both done.

“Shakespeare.”

Her eyes widened and she urged him on, “What play?”

“Midsummer’s Night Dream.”

“That’s my favorite! I'm so glad you’re reading it,” she told him happily, clapping her hands together from excitement. As a muggle born witch, she loved when her friends experienced a bit of her world. Shakespeare was just a taste. He’d read a couple other muggle books before, but mainly it was novels by famous wizards and witches.

He smiled, tucking the book into his own bag. “I know. That’s why I picked it.”

“You remembered! I’m excited to talk to you about it when you’re done.” He had to look away from her face. She was so beautiful when she got excited, it made him want to swoop in and give her a thousand little kisses. Of course, he wasn’t insane, so he wasn’t going to do that. He was always looking at her, catching glimpses of her captivating smile and her sparkling eyes. When she looked away, he peered over at her and just watched, regardless of where they were. In class, while studying, in the common rooms. He couldn’t help but stare.

It wasn’t a coincidence he picked her favorite play. He wanted to see her get all giddy because of their two person book club. Anything to see her happy. It seemed he had successfully achieved that, too.

“So what did you need help with?”

“Well, I’m not quite sure. I’m doing well in all my classes right now. Probably because of you, but still,” she told him. Honestly, she never really wanted to study, it was just her way of hanging out with Remus for a while. “Do you want to do something else other than sit in here?” Y/N asked, a bit nervous he might say no.

He leaned on his elbow, cheek pressed to his palm. “Depends. What do you have in mind?” He asked, even though he knew he’d say yes to basically anything she could ask. She could ask him to join her in the broom closet for a snog and he would agree.

She thought for a moment, tapping a finger on her lips as she pondered what they could do. There wasn’t anything she desperately needed done, and it wasn’t close to dinner yet.

“Do you want to come with me to feed the nifflers and diricawls?” It was the only class she excelled in. Hagrid allowed her to come and visit the animals as often as she wished, knowing her to be quite talented at the subject. It was rare to be so compatible with the beasts, but she’d done it.

He wasn’t the biggest fan of the class, and had not taken it for a couple years. Still, he was willing to do just about anything for her. “Let’s go then.” He nodded, gathering up his belongings and tucking them down into his bag. She did the same with her textbook which she never actually opened anyway.

He took her bag from her without her asking. He always carried her books if they were walking somewhere together. She figured it was just him being polite. James would do the same, bragging about his impressive strength. She was grateful though, and walked beside him with her hands in her cardigan pockets.

As they turned the corner, entering the main corridor, she caught the eye of a familiar face, one that Remus thought was busy with Quidditch practice for the time being. “Sirius!” she called, waving over at him with a newfound grin on her face, teeth showing and eyes bright. He looked up from Mary and Alice, who also waved in the pair’s direction.

“Fancy seeing you here, Angel,” he hummed, but opened his arms as he usually did for a hug. She threw herself into his arms and he squeezed her tight, maybe even too tight in Remus’ opinion. She pulled back, peering up at him before nodding to the other two Gryffindor girls.

“Hi, Mary, Alice,” she hummed sweetly. They happily greeted their friend with warm smiles.

Remus almost felt himself move past his surge of jealousy, if he hadn’t seen Sirius rest the palm of his hand on her lower back when he stepped to the side to face the rest of the group. He never understood why the two of them were so close, and why Sirius practically hung off her shoulder when the two were together. The two were just best friends, from all he could tell, but it sure felt like more. Sirius wasn’t known for settling for one girl, he preferred to leave his options open. Surely, he didn’t have a crush on her.

Remus could only hope.

“Moony, where are you two off to?” Mary asked. While Remus looked at the brunette, answering her question, he missed the look that Alice sent Y/N. She raised her brows, her eyes flicking between the pair. Y/N felt her cheeks heat up at the notion that her and Remus were hanging out as anything other than friends. The girls loved to taunt her, probably because they consistently got a rise out of her.

“The creature pens outside,” he replied, gloomier than he wanted to sound. “I thought you guys had practice today?”

Sirius shrugged, “It was postponed for an hour. Something about the weather. I thought you two normally studied on Thursday afternoons.”

“I’ve been doing well enough in my classes that I figured I deserved a well earned break,” she told the three of her quidditch-playing friends.

“Well, I guess we should leave you to it, right, ladies?” the raven-haired boy asked. Bidding the two study partners a goodbye before trailing off with Alice and Mary in tow. Y/N waved while Remus just watched with a defeated look on his face. He always felt defeated when seeing Sirius and Y/N together.

For the rest of the trek out to the animal pens, they walked beside each other silently, just navigating the halls in thought. She could only think about how close he stood beside her, and how attractive it was that he carried her bag for her. A dazed smile was left on her lips and she stared at her feet to avoid him seeing how happy he made her. She was such a lovestruck fool. It was obvious.

It was cold outside but not quite snowy yet. She cuddled into her thick cardigan, wondering if he was cold in just his sweater and uniform shirt. The leaves had fallen from all the trees, crinkling under their footsteps. The sky was white, indicating a storm was brewing, potentially snow considering it was December. A few other students hung out in the courtyard, playing games with each other or sitting by the gardens talking. Not a single person was hanging around the animal pens.

She stopped when they neared the small building beside the care for magical creatures classroom. The diricawls and nifflers were inside this time of year so she pushed open the door to the shelter. Inside, they were met with a dozen or so diricawls walking around on some freshly laid hay.

She turned to Remus and grinned, pointing to a diricawl with three black spots on its head. “This one is my favorite. His name is Cookie. Isn’t he just the cutest?” She asked.

He shut the door behind them so none of the creatures escaped. “You named him Cookie?”

“Yeah, because he’s so sweet.”

She walked over to the food barrel and scooped out two handfuls of food. She tossed onto the ground beside the animals, but kept a few pieces in her hand. With her free hand she urged Remus to come closer.

He did as she asked. “Here, you can feed Cookie this time,” she told him, handing him the pieces of kibble. It was exciting to share her passions with him. He was happy she just included him in the first place. He wanted her to invite him into all aspects of her life. What classes she liked, her favorite books, favorite songs, her favorite holiday, and favorite food. It was like a collection he wanted so badly to complete. To complete her and all her quirks.

He took the kibble from her hand. “How do I feed him?” He asked.

“Didn’t you pay any attention in class?” She joked, but patted his shoulder nonetheless. “By hand, if you want. He doesn’t bite,” she laughed. He knelt down closer to the creature and extended his hand, looking to her for guidance. She gave him a very enthusiastic thumbs up. Soon enough, the little bird was taking food from his palm and munching on his snack.

When he was finished and stood back up, she couldn’t help herself but hug him from the side, pressing her face to his arm. “Y/N?” His heart was skipping a beat. He patted her on the head gently, feeling a bit too awkward to hug her back. Even if he loved her being pressed so close to him, he couldn’t function when the real thing happened.

She answered with so much glee in her voice, “I’m just so happy you came with me. No one ever comes with me to feed these little guys. Always too busy with quidditch or hanging out in the common rooms.”

“It’s no big deal. If it makes you happy, it makes me happy too.”

Her stomach was doing somersaults and her heart raced at his kind words. She took a step back and straightened herself out again. “Thanks, Rem. You’re such a sweetheart.”

If his face wasn’t red already, it certainly was now. She looked like an angel standing there, the diricawls gathered at her legs like her own little army of birds. He loved the way her Gryffindor cardigan swallowed her up. He loved the way some stray hairs fell into her face as she glanced down at the ground. He thought it was adorable how she fiddled with her fingers when she was nervous.

It was admirable how she treated the animals, the things she loved. Even if she wasn’t the smartest book-wise, she was friendly and kind, to animals and humans alike.

Most importantly, there wasn’t any judgment from her when she found he was a werewolf. She caught the boys carrying him up the common room stairs one day in the early hours of the morning, and from then on she doted on him. She gathered ingredients from her furry or scaly companions, persistent in making healing potions for him, different creams and salves for his wounds. She worked long hours in the Potions room with Slughorn’s permission, desperate to make something that would ease his suffering.

She’d come up to their dorm after the full moon and take care of him each time, cleaning his wounds and doing the best she could with her limited knowledge of healing spells. Over time, she got better, nearly perfecting her spell casting, all for him.

That was when he started to fall for her. No one had ever cared for him like she did. As Sirius liked to call her, Y/N truly was an angel, he was sure of it. Sirius might have meant it as a joke, but Remus came to find the nickname truer than any other. True like he was Moony and their friend was Padfoot.

She pointed over to a few cages to their right, where the nifflers lived. The cage was decorated with shiny things, silver necklaces and some gold coins, probably the result of a thieving niffler.

“Do you want to feed the nifflers now?”

“Anything you want, love.”

———

While James was chasing after Lily Evans, and Sirius was busy romancing Marlene McKinnon, Y/N sat back on the couch beside Remus Lupin. Peter sat on the floor by her feet, resting his head against the sofa cushions. She’d grabbed three cups and a pot of hot tea for her and her couple of friends as they watched the flickering of the fire before them.

While the more outgoing of the friend group were always off doing something, this left just the quieter three hanging around amongst themselves. It was peaceful. Remus read his book silently while Y/N and Peter talked about the newest gossip from that day. Peter was great to talk to. He always listened intently, and could discuss basically anything she could think of. She supposed he was just happy that the cooler marauders let him hang around.

She took a sip of her drink and sighed, the warmth of a nice cup of tea soothing her otherwise freezing cold frame. She grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped herself up. It was nearing Christmas, which meant many things.

It meant that she would have to sit outside in the freezing cold during every quidditch match. It meant going to Hogsmeade every weekend and filling up on butterbeer and goodies from Honeydukes. It meant spending more time huddled up on the couch with her friends sitting around the fire, laughing all night long.

She drifted off into her own thoughts for a moment, completely missing the question that Peter had just asked. She felt a tap on her knee and blinked away that dazed look in her eye.

“What was that, Peter?”

“I asked, do you have any plans for Hogsmeade this weekend?” he said once again. She tapped the side of her teacup in thought. She originally planned on staying inside over the weekend to finish up some homework due the next week, but she couldn’t resist the urge to go out and visit the little town, get some candy, and drink in the Three Broomsticks. She couldn’t miss out on a fun outing with friends.

Y/N shook her head ‘no’.

“Wanna come with?”

“Of course.”

She stirred her cup of tea, her eyes scanning the room. “Any specific plans you all have this weekend? Zonko’s, Honeydukes, Spintwich’s?” she asked. Usually they followed some sort of routine. Visit the Three Broomsticks for drinks, head to Honeydukes to stock up on sweets for the rest of the week, and either stop at Zonko’s for the newest gadget or Spintwich’s so James could see if there were any upgrades for his broom.

Her personal favorite was Brood and Peck. Sometimes they had special creatures that you could only find in the forbidden forest. She was still waiting for a unicorn, but in the meantime there were always mooncalves, nifflers, and diricawls to play with. She also liked spending her time in the bookstore too.

Not that she wanted books, she just liked going there with Remus so she could watch him out of the corner of her eye. He furrowed his brows as he scanned the books for one that he was interested in. She would pretend to do the same thing, but really she just went for him. To watch him get excited by a new book that was just released, or half priced older novels he’d been meaning to buy, books they would read together. Seeing him happy made her feel soft inside, and that’s all that mattered to her.

“Well, I heard that Lily and the rest of the girls are going to Honeydukes around noon and I plan to be there,” James said confidently. He was obsessed with that girl, but Y/N couldn’t judge. She was just as obsessed with Remus as James was with Lily. She was infatuated, and had been for years.

“Speaking of which, why aren’t you going with the rest of the girls, Y/N?” Peter asked the girl sitting beside him.

Originally, she declined going to Hogsmeade that weekend altogether. She was far too preoccupied with her schoolwork to even think about taking the day off to fool around, but she couldn’t say no to spending the day with Remus. She had to say yes to the boys, on the off chance she might get some quality time with the boy she fancied.

She shrugged, “They offered, but had to say no. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to finish my potions essay in time. Gladly, I got it done this morning, so I should be fine to go with you guys.” She wasn’t exactly lying, but she certainly wasn’t telling the entire truth. She wasn’t doing well in her Herbology class either…

Remus found himself tense up at the mention of Hogsmeade. He always found himself nervous when she was around, and somehow, they always ended up singled out by the group when they went places. It was always Sirius and James goofing off with Peter following closely after, leaving Remus standing in the dust with Y/N at his side. He was never prepared and felt like he made a fool of himself every time just trying to strike up conversation. He could be so terribly awkward.

He just hoped that on the day of the actual visit to Hogsmeade, he would be normal. That all his friends would stick together instead of separating and leaving him to be his embarrassing self in front of the girl he so desperately fancied.

Part Two out.

#remus lupin x reader #harry potter fanfic #harry potter #marauders era #harry potter x reader #hp fanfic #remus lupin #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin one shot #remus x reader #remus lupin x you #marauders era x reader

573 notes · View notes

weasleykisses · 6 months

Text

Astronomy II (Sirius Black x Reader)

A/N: you’ve come to let your guard down in front of Sirius, the front you put up slowly crumbling. At a party where someone has nefarious plans set in back, he’s there to come save you.

*TW* for short and mild descriptions of sexual assault

Word count:5.3k

It was your birthday party. Well, mostly it was for your brother, as he was the more popular one out of the two of you. Still, you were twins, and he and Lily insisted you hang out at the party too, celebrating along with him. You went around talking with groups of people.Your brother invited practically everyone, people from all houses, people from different years. It was a bustling party complete with lots of alcoholic beverages.

You promised yourself you wouldn’t drink that much. You wanted to be somewhat sober to make it through the night without saying or doing something embarrassing. The last time you’d gotten drunk at a party, you ended up standing on the table and dancing around until you grew so dizzy you threw up on the floor. That wasn’t your proudest moment, and you wanted to avoid another incident similar to that one.

So you drank from your cup, mostly punch mixed with a shot of vodka for a bit of a kick. Nothing crazy. It would probably be the only drink you had that night if you could pace yourself.

But eventually, you still found yourself getting a bit dizzy and your words seemed to come out a bit slurred. You swore you didn’t have that much to drink, but it certainly felt like you did.

You groaned, standing beside the Ravenclaw boy you’d been talking to for the night. He was keeping you company while your friends were off doing their own thing. Your brother was somewhere with Lily, probably snogging in a closet. That left you alone with the rest of the partygoers, and a boy clad in a blue uniform tie and white shirt was more than pleased to take the spot as your buddy.

He was kinda cute. He had brown hair and bright blue eyes. He was tall and attractive, with a voice that would leave most girls absolutely swoon. He was no Sirius Black though. You probably would never talk to him after the party was over, as he really wasn’t all that interesting. He was just another Ravenclaw, you thought. Just another slightly above average teenage boy. He seemed nice enough. He kept filling your glass of punch when you ran out, and he talked to you about Astronomy, which kept you more than entertained.

But as you grew tipsier, and your head started to spin, you found yourself cornered against the wall, his arm blocking you from moving.

“Hey, what are you doing-” you started, noticing the position he had put you in.

“Come on, let’s get out of here. Have some real fun,” he told you.

“No, I-I want to stay here,” you tried to say, but he interrupted you once again. This time, he slid a hand down your side, letting his hand wrap around your waist and tug you a bit closer to him. You tried to step away from his grasp, only for him to grab you tighter. You yelped, feeling his hand squeeze your waist far too tightly. It was futile, but you slapped his hand in an attempt to make him let you go, only to elicit a laugh from him.

“You don’t know what you want, baby. Come with me. I’ll show you a good time,” he whispered near your ear, and you nearly gagged. He smelt like alcohol and cheap cologne, nothing like the expensive stuff that Sirius used. He wasn’t charming either. No matter what he said, you didn’t want to follow after him. You would much rather stay in the Gryffindor common room for the night, around your housemates and friends.

His hand slid further down now, pushing up the fabric of your skirt and grabbing your ass, only a thin layer of panties between his rough fingers and your sensitive skin.

“Don’t- Don’t do that, okay?” you stumbled over your words, weakly stepping away from his touch. He just let his other hand fall, groping down your breast to rest beneath it, cupping it and pinching through your shirt at your nipple.

Your breath caught in your throat, and you started to breathe quite heavily, not exactly sure what was happening to you, only that you really didn’t like it. You didn’t like the feeling of his hand on your breast, nor did you appreciate the hand squeezing your ass cheek. All you could do was push on his chest, trying to get him away from you, but he was so much stronger. He was sober and you, somehow, were far from it.

You felt hot tears prick in the corners of your eyes as he leaned down to whisper in your ear.

“You’re so fucking hot, Potter. You know you want me. I’ve seen the way you look at me in Transfigurations,” he muttered against your earlobe, and you shook your head. You didn’t look at Robert Wigglewot. You didn’t look at anyone besides your friends, your brother, and Sirius Black. That was for sure. No one else had ever caught your eye.

“I need to find James,” you slurred as you briefly scanned the crowded room. There wasn’t a single person you recognized in sight.

And he just wouldn’t stop touching you either. You felt the tears start to fall down your cheeks.

Your panicked eyes searched the room frantically for anyone that might help you, anyone that could see what was going on. To them you probably just looked like a couple sharing a moment. It was taking all the energy you had just to keep Robert from grinding up against you, his hand already wrapped around your waist and squeezing lower than anyone should be touching you. You winced when he pulled at your nipple, having already pushed down your bra and reached into your shirt.

You looked for Remus, with his height usually standing out amongst crowds of people. You searched for your brother who was no doubt off with Lily spending a private moment together. Peter wasn’t anywhere to be found, not that he could have done much himself either. He was far too cowardly to swoop in and save you.

It wasn’t until Robert had grabbed you by your upper arm and dragged you in the direction of the common room exit, that you spotted Sirius mingling with Frank Longbottom by the drink table. Your eyes caught Frank’s and his head turned to you, Sirius following to see what had caught his friend’s attention.

When he saw you, immediately he knew something was wrong. You never cried. You never even looked so much as scared or vulnerable around him. You wouldn’t let him see you so weak. That’s how he knew something was terribly wrong. He set down his cup of fire whisky mixed with pumpkin juice, excusing himself from their conversation.

“Y/N, darling, I’m so glad I found you,” he said smoothly, approaching from behind the Ravenclaw boy who had his hands all over you. “Did you forget you were supposed to meet me and Peter for a game of wizard chess?” His eyes narrowed when he noticed your shirt unbuttoned much lower than you normally wore it. He also noticed your skirt tucked up awkwardly in the back. He felt something begin to burn in his chest that he hadn’t felt in a long time. A burning anger that he couldn’t explain in words.

“Sirius,” you whispered, your voice barely loud enough to hear over the blaring of music and people talking.

He glared hard at Robert, one of the most bitter, hateful looks you’d ever seen cross his face. He never looked at you like that. If anything, when you fought, he looked happy compared to this side of him. You’d never seen anything like it, and you hoped you would never see it again.

“Black,” Robert scowled, turning around to face your brother’s best friend, your friend…

“Hope you don’t mind if I steal Y/N from you,” Sirius replied without waiting for him to answer back. He took your free hand and pulled you from Robert’s side into his own, wrapping his arm around your shoulders so the other boy had no chance of getting you in his clutches again. “I think it would be best if you ran off to the Ravenclaw Tower, Robbie.” He was short and firm, clearly not about to take no for an answer.

The boy rolled his eyes with a scoff before heading in the direction of the exit. He rudely shoved against Sirius’ shoulder as he did so, upset that someone ruined his plans with you, whatever they might have been. You were so tired and weak from drinking, you just wanted to go to bed and forget about what happened.

“Darlin, you okay?” He asked quietly, ducking his head so he looked into your downcast eyes. Your eyes quickly filled with tears now that you felt safe enough to break down. Furiously, you reached up in an attempt to wipe away the tears about to fall. It was futile though, as salty tears dripped down your cheeks and you let out a shaky breath.

He sighed, bringing a hand up to swipe away the droplets on your cheeks. His forefinger found its way under your chin, tilting your head up to look at him. When you made eye contact, you couldn’t hold it in any longer, seeing the care in his eyes, that gentleness you so often ignored when he looked at you. That softness that you denied every time Lily mentioned it.

“S-Sirius,” you choked. You felt yourself lurch forward before you could say anything, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck and pressing your face into his collar. You were shaking so violently he thought you might crumble right there in his arms.

He had to admit, he was a bit shocked that you were clinging onto him like this. You disliked him, for whatever reason, he wasn’t completely sure still. He was almost hesitant to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you flush against his chest. He held the back of your head with one hand, softly brushing down your hair as you cried.

Sirius Black loved you more than anything in the world. Maybe no one knew that. James didn’t know, you didn’t know, Remus might have known but he kept his mouth shut tightly with business that wasn’t his own.

It hurt to see you cry, to feel you quivering and shaking like a leaf in the wind.

“It’s gonna be okay, sweetheart. I got you. It’s okay,” he mumbled against your hair.

Maybe it was just because you were so drunk that you held onto him, that you trusted him enough to come and save you from that shitty Ravenclaw, he didn’t know. It seemed obvious that you had to be drunk to trust him. That there was no way you’d ever put yourself in this position otherwise. That you would have spent the whole time scouting out Remus, your brother, Lily, or even fucking Peter before you accepted his help.

But here you two were: clutching onto each other like you might never get the chance again.

Eyes had turned towards you and him, and he knew you would regret it in the morning if everyone and their mother was talking about Y/N Potter and Sirius Black getting cozy in the common room during the party.

“Let’s get you to bed, alright?” He leaned back, tilting his head a bit so he could catch your eyes. You nodded, wiping away the leftover tears on your cheeks before fresh ones could fall. Sirius took the opportunity to fix your skirt so you didn’t walk past anyone with too much skin on display.

He took your hand and you followed him as he climbed the spiral staircase to the boy’s dormitories. He didn’t want to drop you off all alone at your dorm and leave you to be by yourself until one of your roommates came. He didn’t want to leave you out of his sight at all, scared something else like the Robert situation might happen again.

Their dorm was the third door down the hall, and he slowly creaked it open, hoping not to alert too many people to his presence. Sirius leaving the party early? Unheard of. Sirius leaving a party with Y/N attached to his hip? Unthinkable.

The lights were already on, and when he shut the door softly behind you, Remus raised a brow in your direction. He was reading, as per usual, having skipped the majority of the party for some down time. You were still crying, sobbing as you clutched tightly onto Sirius’ hand, nearly turning his knuckles white.

“What happened?” Remus asked, and Sirius only clicked his tongue, not wanting to talk about it.

“She’s drunk. She needs some sleep,” Sirius told him, guiding you over to his bed and motioning for you to climb in. You sat down, and he knelt in front of you, pulling one shoe off before getting the other, tucking them neatly beside his nightstand. He helped you slip out of your cardigan, hanging that on his bedpost. Remus watched carefully as you let Sirius touch you. Normally, you would be scowling and kicking him away from you in protest, but tonight, you appeared to just melt away into his hands. “Wigglewot was groping all over her, for fuck’s sake.”

Remus was taken aback, shutting his novel and sitting up a bit straighter in bed. “You’re fucking with me? That bastard-”

“I know. It took everything in me not to punch the prick right then and there,” Sirius growled. His hands gently went to button up your white shirt, making sure you were appropriately covered.

He knew how Sirius felt about you. That Sirius thought you were the most beautiful girl he’d ever laid his eyes upon. That he wanted you more than you could even imagine. That he dated tons of other girls to try and forget about you. That when he looked into the eyes of those girls, he would lose himself trying to find a glimmer of Y/N somewhere. He also knew that something like this happening to Y/N would ignite a fire in Sirius that wouldn’t go away with a vicious act of revenge. Remus wasn’t stupid.

Remus also knew that you yourself had fallen in love with Padfoot years ago, but your stubbornness kept you from admitting it. Something happened at Christmas that changed your mind about the boy, he wasn’t sure what exactly, but whatever it was playing out before his eyes: this affection between you two even if you were drunk.

You crawled under Sirius’ covers and he brought the blanket up to your chin, making sure to cover you so you weren’t cold. He knew how you got during the winter. “Can you watch her?”

Remus was about to reply, but Y/N broke the silence, reaching out and grabbing the boy’s wrist before he could turn away. You pulled him toward you. “Don’t leave, Sirius. Please, just stay with me,” you pleaded softly, sniffling a bit as you finished up crying. Your eyes were red from the tears and with the way you looked at him, practically begging him not to take another step towards the door, he couldn’t say no to you. Not tonight. ”I’m scared.”

“I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep. Promise,” he said, kicking off his own shoes beside yours. He laid on top of the blanket, too embarrassed to crawl under them with you. He felt criminal, like he shouldn’t be so close to you, acting like you were such close friends. You hated him. If you weren’t so drunk, you would have kicked him on the floor and stormed out of the room. He was sure of it.

He laid on his side facing you, head propped up on his palm. Remus sent him a knowing look while you weren’t looking, one that said he better not fuck this up. He turned back to his novel, giving them a bit of privacy. He knew that if you were awake you would be too embarrassed and ashamed to look at him.

“Sirius, you always smell so good,” you mumbled, pressing your face into his chest and tugging him by the collar closer to you. “I always loved that about you.”

“Thanks, darling.”

“I like when you call me that.” Your voice was growing sleepier, softer and weaker, with your words slurred together. “My favorite…”

There was no reason his heart should be racing so fast. You were drunk. You didn’t know what you were saying. He knew you didn’t mean any of it. Surely, you didn’t. You just couldn’t. He wouldn’t believe it.

But he didn’t mind pretending that you did, as he wrapped his arm around your waist and pressed you tightly against him, listening as your breaths turned soft and quiet, and your eyes shut. You’d fallen asleep, and despite what he said about leaving when you fell asleep, he didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay there with you in his arms for as long as he could, cherishing the time you two had together like this. Just until you woke up, he told himself.

Remus sighed. “You should just tell her.”

“She hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you.”

“What would James think?”

“I think he’d just be happy the two of you were happy.”

Sirius didn’t have anything else to say. He just sighed, brushing down your hair with his fingers so gently he could have been touching the petals of a blooming flower. You were delicate. You were beautiful and funny and smart and everything he could want in a girl. Maybe you didn’t like him in that way, and that was okay. He was just happy that you were safe and he had the chance to be with you right now, cuddling you to his chest for the first time and most likely the last.

He loved you so fucking much.

_____

“What the hell?!” A familiar voice woke Sirius and Y/N from their slumber. You shifted in the bed, groaning at the feeling of having to open your eyes to the bright sunlight shining in through the window. You tried to stretch out your arms, only to find them tucked up tightly against something else, something particularly warm and distinctly scented.

You opened your eyes to find Sirius Black half asleep in front of your face. His arm was wound around your waist and your legs were tangled together through the thin blanket you had covering you. Your hands were tucked up against your chest, against his chest.

He smelled so fucking good. His pillows and his sheets smelled like him so strongly you felt intoxicated just being encased in something so exclusively Sirius. He looked so good too. His hair was messy, loose curls falling around his face and over his forehead. His sleepy eyes and voice made you nearly gasp; he was more handsome half asleep than when he was awake, something you didn’t think was humanly possible at this point. He was perfect, and you were cuddled up to him in his bed, in his dorm room.

Just as quickly as you adjusted to being in the bed beside him, you had thrown yourself onto the floor with such force that you yelped when your ass hit the hard floorboards.

“Y/N, what are you doing with Sirius?!”

“I don’t know! What am I doing with Sirius?”

“Padfoot, explain yourself!” James yelled, pointing his wand at his best friend threateningly. He would never actually hex his friend, but he did feel pretty pissed finding his dear sister curled up in a certain black-haired boy’s arms, supposedly having been that way the entire night.

Sirius groaned, sitting up in his bed and pressing a hand to his forehead. “Listen, it’s not what it looks like. Y/N was drunk at the party last night-”

“So you brought me into your bed?!” you screeched, scrambling to your feet and gawking at him with wide eyes. Your hands were shaking with fear, wondering what could have possibly occurred the night before that put you in such a compromising position.

“You were drunk and Robbie Wigglewot was trying to…have his way with you, yeah? I told him to fuck off and brought you back to the dorms. Moony can vouch for me.”

You glanced over at the blonde adjusting his tie. “I attest to that.”

“I tried to put you to bed and leave you with Moony, but you asked me to stay with you. I don’t know, I guess it made you feel more safe, or something,” he explained, trying to decriminalize himself before the twins simultaneously attacked him. “Please don’t yell at me anymore. My head fucking hurts.”

“Wait, Wigglewot tried to do what?” James questioned, shaking his head as if he had misheard.

“I remember. He must have kept filling up my glass; I guess I didn’t notice how much I had to drink.” You shook your head. It wasn’t like you to get so drunk you didn’t remember what happened the night before. You were responsible. You would never put yourself in that position, and to ask Sirius to help you through it…you almost didn’t believe it.

It wasn’t that you hated Sirius. You liked him. Maybe a bit too much actually. You would never let anyone know that. Absolutely not. He was a player and a womanizer and just an overall unattractive guy. Well- not his looks, he was very handsome. He also smelled really good, like cinnamon, pine wood, and expensive cologne.

And perhaps you found him kinda cute. He was sweet when he wanted to be. He was awfully charming and witty too.

He wasn’t the worst, you thought, only to curse yourself for letting the thought run through your mind. Sirius Black was not in your league. You would never get the chance. He could have any girl he wanted, why would he choose you? He wouldn’t, and you needed to stop fantasizing that one day he might. Get that into your stupid, hormonal brain, Y/N. Get it together.

“I-I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch. Moony, get your wand. We got some ass to kick.”

“I’m not getting into a fight, Prongs.”

“Yeah, he’s right. It’s not worth the effort. Sirius had my back and that’s what matters,” you said, shaking your head as you tried to process the situation. Why had Sirius been so kind to you in the first place? Sure, any decent person would have helped you, but to have given into your request to sleep in the same bed together was a bit intense for two people who disliked each other- perhaps even too intense for a pair of friends.

James let his shoulders drop from their defensive position, the tension slowly fading into frustration. “Y/N, you’re my own blood. I’m not just gonna sit by and-“

“It’s okay! Just thank Sirius for what he did and be done with it,” you tried to deescalate the situation at hand. You weren’t feeling particularly up for shenanigans today, and that included seeing your brother get into a fight. “I’ll report what happened to McGonagall later, anyway.”

“Thank you for watching out for my sister, mate. I owe you one.”

“I was just doing the right thing,” he said, covering his eyes with his forearm to block out the sunlight coming through the windows. He wasn’t ready to get up just yet. He wished that James would have stayed out longer, letting you and him spend more time together before the peace was disturbed and you were back to hating his guts once again.

Only, this morning, you seemed softer. Gentler with him. The way you cast your eyes in his direction wasn’t one that was filled with annoyance like usual. You looked shy, an adjective he never thought would describe you. When he met your eyes, the ones that sparkled with something he wasn’t familiar with, you quickly averted your gaze to the floor.

Even after just having slept, you were gorgeous. He couldn’t help but gawk at how adorable you were with messy hair and smudged and dripping eyeliner. Your lip gloss was long gone, but he could still remember the smell lingering in the air as he watched you fall asleep the night before. Cherry flavored, he thought.

A part of him wished you would have kissed him last night. He wanted to taste your lip gloss and feel the way your soft lips molded against his own. He wanted to run his hands through your hair and tug you tightly against his chest like you would fade away if he let you go even for a second. Sirius Black wanted you so badly to be his. It actually scared him, how much he loved you, Y/N Potter, the girl of his dreams.

You didn’t look up to him as you thanked him, but he also didn’t miss the beginnings of a smile on your lips. A smile that was almost guilty, as if you wanted to bury it down and pretend it never happened.

“Thank you, Sirius. I can’t imagine what would have happened if you weren’t there last night.”

Remus found it odd to see you drop your normal tone with Sirius for a softer one, one that was actually pleased and content. He’d noticed that a lot from you as their final year played out. Perhaps it was time that you dropped the facade and actually treated Sirius the way you felt about him.

_____

You loved Sirius Black. You realized that a long time ago, perhaps during that Christmas vacation, or maybe earlier than that. You loved him, and you decided that no matter what he had to say, you would confess to him how you felt. Remus had convinced you it was the right thing to do, the only way to get this stress off your mind.

You waited for him outside the portrait hole that night, watching as other Gryffindor entered the portrait for at least half an hour before your brother, Sirius, and the other two marauder boys walked up to the fat lady, speaking the password to get in.

“Hey, weirdo. What are you doing standing outside?” James asked, giving you a strange look.

“I was waiting for Sirius. I wanted to talk to you, if that’s okay?” you asked, peering over at the black-haired boy and then looking immediately back at the floor. His heart beat faster hearing you ask for him, knowing that you wanted to speak to him in private. He wondered what you wanted, but part of him didn’t care as long as he got to spend another moment with you.

“Alright, then,” your brother said curiously, his eyes flickering between the two of you as if he didn’t believe you two were simply going to “talk”. He had been suspicious since Christmas with the necklace present that there was something strange going on between the two of you. He wasn’t going to blow his top just because his friend was involved with his sister, but he would at least like to be informed on what was happening. If his best mate and his sister were shagging, he wanted to know.

The others entered the portrait hole while Sirius lingered behind, his hands shoved deep in his pockets while yours were linked behind your back, fiddling with your bracelets. “I wanted to thank you again for what you did for me. For saving me from that creep, and then cuddling me to sleep. I-I really appreciate what you did for me,” you told him quietly, trying to gather up the courage to tell him what you actually wanted to say.

“Don’t thank me for something like that. I was just being a good person.”

“You could have left me with Moony and went back to the party. You stayed with me. That means a lot to me,” you continued, making sure he didn’t dismiss the extent of his actions and how they left you feeling special. “But that’s not the reason I asked to talk to you tonight.”

He raised his eyes to meet yours and you had to fight the urge to duck your head and break eye contact. You were just so terrified. He was the most perfect, the most wonderful boy in the entire world, and the thought of him rejecting you and breaking your heart left you feeling so empty in the pit of your stomach. Your world was beginning to revolve around him, like he was the sun and you were the planets cycling around him. He was the bright star that kept you warm and thriving.

“I don’t hate you. I’ve never hated you. I know that I was rude to you in the past, but I just didn’t know how to express myself,” you confessed, “I’m quite fond of you, Sirius.”

“Well, we are friends after all.”

“That’s the thing, though. I don’t want to be just friends. I want to be more than that.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, even though it was pretty obvious what you meant. He just needed to make sure. He needed to know he wasn’t just hallucinating the words coming from your lips.

“I think I’m in love with you, Sirius. I know it’s sudden, but I’ve always liked you. I’ve always thought you were charming and handsome and smart, and so brave. I always wanted you for myself, but you were always dating other girls that were better than me. I didn’t think I stood a chance.”

“A chance?” he asked, “You’re perfect. You don’t need to change anything about yourself to be better than those other girls. You, Y/N, are leagues above all of them.”

Now it was your turn to be confused. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m saying, I like you. Scratch that, I love you. I always thought you hated me because of how you argued and fought with me everyday. The mixed signals you gave me were a bit lopsided.”

“I-I hated the way you made me feel. I hated that I had to watch you with other girls and break my heart over and over again. I hated how you made me feel, but I never hated you,” you explained, finally expressing how you felt for so long out loud. It had been tucked so deep inside and needed to be let go.

He smiled, taking a step forward so he could duck his head, in an attempt to match your height, to see the embarrassed expression you wore. “You’re awfully cute when you’re flustered,” he hummed. “How will you react when I give you a kiss?”

“You want to kiss me?”

“I have for a long time, Darlin’,” he chuckled, lifting your chin up with a single finger. His eyes sparkled like the stars in the night sky, and you couldn’t help but feel the smile on your face. He pressed a soft kiss to your sweet smile, and you giggled, covering your eyes with your hand, too shy to meet his eyes. “Aw, let me see all of your pretty face.”

You let your hand fall to your side again. He pressed another kiss to your lips, one that you reciprocated this time, kissing back softly like you’d never kissed anyone before. It was innocent; it was perfect, so much so you thought you might be having a dream.

It wasn’t though. There you stood outside the common room, your lips pressed to those of Sirius Black, the light of the moon shining through the windows. You counted yourself lucky, kissing the most handsome boy in the school in the most dramatic of moments. You were sure that as long as you had Sirius by your side, you’d be forever enchanted.

#sirius black x reader #sirius black fanfic #sirius black oneshot #sirius black #Marauders era #harry potter fanfic #harry potter x reader #harry potter one shot #harry potter #tw for sexual assault please be mindful #fem!reader #Sirius x fem!reader

122 notes · View notes

weasleykisses · 7 months

Text

Astronomy I (Sirius Black x Reader)

A/N: You think you hate Sirius Black. As James’ sister though, you see an awful lot of him. If only you weren't desperately in love with him, and he wasn't the most handsome boy you'd ever met.

word count: 5.6k

You didn’t mind hanging out with your twin brother. He was exciting and funny, always making you laugh aloud from his antics. You actually enjoyed his company, unlike how some others were with their siblings. You assumed he liked your company.

At least, he enjoyed your company when you weren’t fighting ruthlessly with a certain boy with long raven-colored hair and an awfully smug smile on his lips that never left his face. You couldn’t stand Sirius Black. He was just…just a womanizing pervert with no life. It was hard sometimes getting along with your own brother when his best friend was so miserable to be around.

You didn’t even mind your brother’s other friends. Peter was quiet and a great listener. He wasn’t anything special, but he never got on your nerves either. Remus was practically godsent, helping you with homework and sitting with you when you had classes without any of your friends. He had this way of making everything so calm and tranquil when he entered the room.

You were roommates with Lily, your brother’s crush since the first year at Hogwarts. You also hung out with Dorcas and Marlene, sometimes Mary, sometimes Alice and Frank. You could appreciate most of the people you found yourself surrounded by. Everyone but him.

At least, that’s what you wanted everyone to think. You actually really enjoyed your time with Sirius, much more than you should have. He was just so perfect. The guy of your dreams, literally. You often woke up in the middle of the night after having dreamt of him kissing you, calling you his girl.

Only, he wasn’t interested in you. To him, you were just his best mate's twin sister, just another bro within the group. You didn’t know where he got that impression either. You were smart and considerate of others, unlike the majority of the marauders. You wore dresses and painted your face with makeup to highlight some of your more feminine features. You were a girl with feelings, not simply “one of the guys”. Peter and Remus didn’t see you like that.

That’s why you found yourself absolutely furious with him all the time. You hated him so much. You hated the way he made you feel like your heart was about to beat out of your chest. You hated the way he smirked when you got flustered. You hated everything about him because he wasn’t yours. It wasn’t always that way either. You used to like him in your first few years at Hogwarts, but over time you started to catch feelings and you weren’t very tolerant of the heart break you felt whenever he inevitably flirted with other girls.

That’s why you sat with your arms crossed, trying to zone out his incessant flirting with Marlene McKinnon even if she was gay as fuck. The way he complimented her beautiful blonde hair, and winked when she smiled at him.

Peter was talking to you about something that happened in his History of Magic class that afternoon, but you weren’t listening. You’d checked out a long time ago.

“Whatever, McKinnon, I’ve got a hot date with a Ravenclaw later. Your loss,” he joked, and she shoved his shoulder playfully. He respected that Marlene was in a committed relationship with Dorcas, but he couldn’t help flirting with everyone. Well, everyone except for you. You’d nearly bite his head off if he did.

You immediately felt uncomfortable at his comment, now knowing he had another date with, no doubt, a gorgeous girl. He would probably snog her, maybe even hook up if he was feeling promiscuous. Your stomach turned like you might be sick all over the coffee table.

Your brother piped up from his spot beside Lily near the fireplace, “When are you gonna settle down, Pads? You have a new girl, like every week.”

Sirius grinned and shook his head. “‘No plans on slowing down any time soon,” he declared, “I don’t think there’s been a girl to catch my eye yet.”

You deflated. Of course he would say that. You didn’t know why you always got your hopes up. He wasn’t the type to settle for a single girl. He liked to spread his affection thin amongst many suitors.

“Aw, that's no fun. Don’t you want to find your true love?” Lily asked, leaning into James happily. You were happy to see your brother finally with the girl of his dreams. He’d spent enough years running after her, that was for sure.

Sirius shrugged. “When I meet her, I meet her. If not, I won’t be disappointed.”

Except, Sirius Black did have a girl that caught his eye. In fact, you’d done so pretty long ago, before he could remember really. Only, you were insistent that you despised him, fighting with him since the third or fourth year. James’ pretty sister, the one that loved astronomy, cauldron cakes, and unfortunately, scowling at any attempt he made to flirt with you.

He wanted you. You were always endgame in his eyes, the girl he would marry and spend his days huddled up in a cottage with. One day, he wanted to give you everything you could need, anything you asked for. It was the only thing he saw when he thought about his future.

You sighed, thinking about the girl he must like. You imagined he liked someone with soft long hair, sparkling eyes, a button nose and plump pink lips. Maybe she was intelligent and kind, or clever and sexy. You were rough around the edges. You weren’t the most attractive girl at Hogwarts, nor were you particularly intelligent or charming. You were fairly plain in comparison to some of the showstopping girls that you surround yourself with. Lily, for example, was drop dead gorgeous.

“Come on. There must be one girl you fancy,” Marlene teased.

Sirius smirked. “And so what if there is? I’ll never tell who.”

“My guess is on that Hufflepuff in our charms class. She’s always sneaking looks at you,” Peter suggested, and Sirius didn’t reply, letting your mind wander. It simmered in your mind, the thought of Sirius and that Hufflepuff girl, you thought her name was Penelope, if you remembered correctly. She was a cute girl with sweet eyes and a soft voice filled with joy.

You didn’t notice, but your lip quivered just a bit. Your heart had sunken down in your stomach like a boulder. With your shoulders turned in on themselves, you looked down at the carpet, trying to focus on the gold and red pattern instead of the discussion at hand.

Why did you feel so sick at the thought of Sirius liking another girl? He was just a friend, if that. He was more like a friend of a friend that you eventually only begrudgingly hung out with. So what if he liked that stupid hufflepuff girl with her sparkly pink eyeshadow and her perfect nose and a voice that rivaled a siren’s song? It didn’t matter to you.

Only it did, and when you felt that familiar wave of tears coming through, you shook your head.

“Oh, Y/N, where are you going?” James asked, and you exhaled, trying to avoid the tremor in your voice.

“I forgot I have to run by the library and study that chapter on dittanies before that test tomorrow,” you said, and Remus looked at you, confused. You didn’t have a test in Herbology for another week. Only he knew that as he was in the same class as you.

You picked up your bag and started making your way out of the common room. You heard Remus say something behind you, but you were too focused on rushing away from the conversation. You left out the portrait hole, letting the first of your tears run down your face when you were in the hallway. You sniffled, pressing your face to your puffy cardigan sleeves.

The door opened behind you and you tried to cover up your little crying fit, but upon seeing Remus Lupin walk out, clearly looking for you, you let your guard down. You could trust him, out of everyone in the group, he was most likely to keep your secrets.

You let yourself sob, shutting your eyes and pressing your palms to cover your eyes.

His hand found your back and rubbed soothingly. “It’s okay, Y/N. Forget about him. He’s an idiot,” he assured, and you only cried harder. There was nothing much to say.

“I just fucking hate that I like him, Remus. Why him? It’s so stupid. He’s so stupid,” you cried, so angry with yourself. “I’ll never look like those girls. I’ll never be like them. I’m stuck being boring Y/N.” You wiped at your tears, trying to stop yourself from being such a baby.

He let out a heavy sigh. “Why do you think of yourself like that?”

“How can I not? Sirius won’t even flirt with me. I’m that disgusting that the biggest flirt in the entire world won’t even jokingly compliment me,” you told him.

“Sirius is complicated. I’m sure it’s not what you think.”

“Yeah, right. That’s why I’ve never had a boy ask me out the entire time we’ve been at Hogwarts,” you groaned, “Give it up, Moony. I’m just the worst.”

“Have you considered boys might be too intimidated to ask you out,” he suggested, leaning down to make eye contact with you. “You seem to forget your brother is Quidditch team captain and you exude quite a lot of attitude.”

You rolled your eyes, an awkward smile on your lips. “I’m not intimidating.”

“You kind of are. I’ve even noticed a few boys look at you positively smitten this year, might I add.”

You smiled, leaning into his side to give him a little hug. “Thanks for trying to cheer me up, Rem.”

“That’s just what friends do,” he told you, hugging you back. He was probably the only person in this world that knew about your crush on the disowned Black. He encouraged you time and time again to just shoot your shot and ask him out, but you denied it every time. You just continued to argue with the boy, too scared to be nice to him and fall deeper into this pit you called love. The downside was that you sort of chose to be an asshole. Sirius really didn’t deserve it, he didn’t do a thing wrong. You just couldn’t handle your feelings of inferiority mixed with intense emotions for the boy.

You didn’t know what the next steps were, but you swore to yourself you wouldn’t let Sirius Black hold you back anymore.

____

It was Christmas, so you and your brother had packed your things to spend the holiday at your house. Normally, you would be ecstatic to go home and enjoy yourself, only the past few holidays since Sirius was disowned, James decided it was time to start inviting Sirius to the family gatherings as well. As much as you loathed having to see him during your vacations, you agreed that it was the right thing to do inviting him. His own family was awful and cruel, and he didn’t deserve that sort of treatment anytime, much less so close to the holidays.

“You know the drill, Black. This room is yours now. It’s got a bathroom over there, and obviously you can use any of the soaps, shampoos, whatever you might need,” you told him, pointing to the attached bath beside his bedroom. “You can also use the wardrobes and the closets if you want to unpack the clothes you brought with you.”

You didn’t know why your parents assigned you the role of showing Sirius around the house when you could have been the one to show Remus around, as he was also staying at the house. James was off showing their tall friend around instead, and you envied him. Whenever you were with Sirius, you just felt so awkward.

He was so handsome. He was charming and beautiful, with just enough snark to be interesting, but not enough to be rude. He was handsome but not so much he wasn’t manly and rugged. You had to stop yourself from staring at him as you walked him around the huge house you lived in for your entire life.

He hummed, looking at you with those stunning brown eyes. “Your room is right beside mine?”

“Yes, not that that matters at all.”

“What if I have a bad dream and need someone to comfort me?” he asked with a smirk, and you just rolled your eyes.

“You can go to James’ room if it’s that serious.”

He sat on his mattress and tested the softness, seemingly satisfied with it. He waved you over to sit beside him, and shockingly, you did as he asked, sitting yourself at the edge of the bed with your legs crossed. He looked all around the stunning dark blue room, complete with intricately painted curtains hanging from the windows and a quilted comforter on the bed beneath them. The ceiling was painted to mimic that of an observatory. It was actually one of your favorite rooms in the house, the observatory themed guest bed. You figured Sirius would like it as he spent a bit of time in the Astronomy tower on dates with random girls.

“So…Your parents are always so nice,” he attempted to start a conversation, “I’m really grateful they let me stay here.”

“It’s really no problem. We have plenty of space, not to mention my mum is glad to make double the portions for Christmas dinner. She’s quite the chef,” you assured him. “She’s always asked me to have friends over for the holidays, she’s just happy you all are here.”

“What are the plans for today?”

“I was going to head to the village and get some gifts for everyone. I usually wait until the last moment, so I don’t have much time left, do I?”

“I’ll come with you.”

“What? No. I never said you were invited,” you argued, shaking your head. It was supposed to be your peaceful day out by yourself, or with Remus if he decided he wanted to go. You didn’t want to deal with Sirius Black trailing behind you flirting with everything that could breathe. Not to mention he would probably comment on all the things you picked out for everyone. “Y-You can’t come!”

“What would your mum think if she knew you weren’t being polite to your guests?” he teased, and you groaned, pressing a hand to your forehead. He was right. Your mother would certainly be upset to find that you excluded one of your “friends” from the festivities on purpose. “I guess you’ll stop by to get me before you leave, then?”

“Fine. I have to go get dressed and gather a couple of my things before we leave so I’ll come by in a little bit. I still have to find out if Remus wants to come, too,” you told him, standing from the bed and smoothing down your sweatpants.”

“Alright, Darling. Don’t be too long,” he called as you walked through the doorway, pretending you didn’t hear him so you wouldn’t have to reply. Your chest tightened a bit at the term of endearment he always used rather than call you by your name. It always made your heart jump and butterflies flutter in your stomach. If only he really meant it. He was just like that with everyone, regardless of how he felt about them.

Sirius Black didn’t like you. He was a womanizing jerk who couldn’t settle down even if someone paid him to. He was selfish and inconsiderate with other people’s feelings.

You shut the door to his room and turned down the hall to find Remus and your brother, most likely in the other spare bedroom where Remus would be staying. You approached the room across from your brother’s and knocked on the heavy wood, waiting for a reply before twisting the knob.

“Come in,” James called, and you entered, peeking your head in to see Remus shuffling through his trunk while James laid across the king sized mattress. “What’s up?”

“I was just about to head into town to get some last minute shopping done. I wanted to know if either of you wanted to come.”

Remus shook his head. You frowned a bit when your brother also shook his head, indicating that neither of them wanted to accompany you. Normally, you wouldn’t care if you had to go by yourself, but without Remus or your brother that meant you would be alone with Sirius, and that was most definitely not preferred.

“James and I are gonna help your mum with some Christmas baking. She’s letting us decorate the sugar cookies,” Remus told you. You were a bit jealous at that. Decorating the sugar cookies was one of you favorite Christmas activities, but you figured Remus and your brother had it covered. You nodded. “Why? Did you need someone to come with you?”

“No, I’m fine going on my own. It’s just that Sirius invited himself along and I don’t want it to just be me and him…” You sighed.

“Pads isn’t that bad. I don’t know why you insist on being so cold to him. He’s a good friend to all of us, including you,” James told you, as if you didn’t already know that. Remus nodded, and gave you a look that said all you needed to know about his opinion on the matter. Remus hadn’t forgotten about the night you broke down crying, sobbing about how you so desperately had fallen in love with the raven-haired boy and he would never feel the same way for you.

You turned on your heel to leave the room, waving goodbye to both boys as you shut the door behind you with a soft click. You headed back down the hall to your room, pulling open the door to your closet and sifting through the rack of clothes. You eventually settled on an outfit.

You slipped on your skirt, a sweater, heavy winter coat, and boots thick enough to endure the snow fall outside. You weren’t consciously dressing to impress, but looking over your ensemble, you wondered if you just somehow managed to pick clothes that you knew would catch the eyes of a certain someone, that being Sirius Black. You tried to convince yourself you didn’t care about his opinion, but you most definitely did. You wanted to look beautiful to him, for him to actually notice you as something other than the sister of his best friend.

As far as you could tell, he thought of you as a sister, a younger one that he could push around and tease as he pleased.

You shook your head, mentally cursing yourself for having such ridiculous thoughts. Sirius was just a friend, a close friend who you could even consider family, even if he annoyed you quite often. There was no reason to get all dressed up for him. You certainly tried to tell yourself that as you applied your eyeliner and smudged it the way you liked it. You definitely told yourself that when you put on your most shiny lip gloss that smelled like candied cherries. Just a friend.

You grabbed your wallet, shoving it into your jacket pocket before leaving your room and heading to the door beside yours. You knocked gently, hoping that maybe he might miss the sound and you could leave on your own. He didn’t though, as the door quickly opened and you were met by dark hair and eyes to match. He didn’t let you see, but his eyes scanned your figure and he gulped, swallowing down his gasp at just how well you looked in your casual clothes.

“Are you ready, Black?” you asked, and he nodded. You started down the hallway of your home, working your way down the stairs and out the front door, waving to your father on the way. He sat in the living room, as usual, reading the Daily Prophet. Sirius waved as well, bidding a farewell to your dad politely.

The town was only a couple minutes walk down the road from your house, so you didn’t bother apparating there. You stepped outside onto the crunchy white snow covering the ground, sighing at the feeling of the winter air blowing past your face. You loved winter. It was so beautiful, with the white covering all the trees and buildings in a winter wonderland sort of way. Christmas was your favorite holiday as well.

“What do you plan on getting for everyone?” Sirius asked, catching up to you as you walked down the sidewalk.

“Probably a new novel for Remus. I’ll get James some quidditch equipment, some pads or something since he’s wearing down the ones he had now,” you told him. “Maybe I’ll get my mum some new earrings. She likes pearls so probably something like that. My dad, I’m not so sure about. I’ll have to see what he likes when I get there.”

He nodded in agreement. “Anything for me?” he finally asked, and you actually laughed. He furrowed his brow and poked you in the arm. “Why is that funny?”

“Because you’re a pain in my ass, Black, and you want me to get you a Christmas present?”

“Well, that’s not very nice of you,” he said, and for a moment, you thought he might actually be a little offended. You turned your gaze to look up at him, only to see him smiling a bit with the corners of his lips. You scoffed, shoving his shoulder with your own.

“Oh, yeah, and what did you get me?” you asked him.

“Nothing. All you deserve is coal for Christmas. Not even Santa Clause himself would bring a nasty girl like you anything.”

“You are so rude.”

“Only for you, sweetheart.”

The walk to town was quite peaceful actually. The two of you teased each other endlessly, but there was no real arguing, not like you would find yourselves in Hogwarts when he would flirt with everything that passed him by. He was corrigible when in a private setting like this. It almost felt like the two of you were on a date as you window shopped.

You two even stopped at a cafe on your way around, you getting a sweet cauldron cake while he drank some butterbeer straight from the tap.

He watched you closely as you eyed down certain displays in the windows, taking note of what you liked and what you absolutely hated. He was particularly interested when you stopped and admired a piece of jewelry, a necklace with a gold chain and setting for the heart shaped, pink stone in the center. You stared at it for longer than anything else in the entire town, and he took note of that.

You noticed the way he admired the record store, with all the old 60’s records lining the aisles. He liked the wooden record player, saying that he’d never had one of the muggle contraptions, even though he thought they looked pretty cool. They were classy, he said, just like him. You could only roll your eyes with a smirk, finding his ego to be quite hilarious. He always acted so cocky but really he was just as insecure as the rest of you.

You had grabbed a couple things for everyone, Remus, your brother, your parents. You considered it a productive day out as you walked back home. He carried your bags even though you told him not to. It was endearing, and you felt your heart skip a beat when you caught him in the corner of your eye looking down at you with that gentle look in his eyes, like he truly enjoyed spending his time with you, regardless of how much you complained.

You bid him farewell when you entered the house, hurriedly grabbing your bags and rushing off to your room, locking the door behind yourself so you could throw yourself into bed, practically screaming into your pillows. Why was he so wonderful? Why did he make you feel so special, like you were the only girl that mattered in the entire world? It made you feel like shit knowing that’s probably how he went through so many girls at Hogwarts, endlessly flirting with them until they felt just like you did.

You weren’t anything special, you thought. You were just like the dozens of other girls he’d romanced. It broke your heart.

____

Christmas morning had come, and you were ready in your pajamas that your mum provided you, saying that you had to wear them for the family photos. Personally, you felt a little old to be wearing a set of pajamas that matched those of your twin brother, but your mother insisted. You were the green and red plaid set as you left your room and headed down to the living room where the most grand Christmas stood with all the little gifts scattered beneath it. There were gifts from your parents to everyone, including your guests.

Your brother showed up second, followed closely by Remus and Sirius, who were talking quietly with each other as they entered the room, only to shut up when they noticed you sitting there on the carpet beside the wrapped presents. You smiled so brightly Sirius thought it might blind him.

He was quick to mock your outfit of choice though. “17 and still matching with your brother, Y/N? Aren’t you a little old for that?”

You scowled and brushed off his comment, knowing he was just being a pest for no reason. Your parents entered the room, your mother holding a plate of cookies decorated quite messily by your brother and friend. You couldn’t tell what the one you picked up was supposed to be, perhaps a stocking or a Santa hat, you weren’t sure. Not that it mattered, it tasted delicious regardless.

You opened some of your gifts, the first one coming from your parents. A new polaroid camera that you had been asking for, wanting to take as many pictures of your friends and you during your final year at Hogwarts as possible. Remus had gotten you a new cardigan, and your brother got you some perfume he knew you were running out of. You hugged everyone after opening each gift, thanking them brightly for what they had gotten you.

They thanked you for the gifts that you got them, even if they were last minute presents. They still loved them. It wasn’t until James was reaching further under the tree before he found a couple more boxes hiding in the low hanging branches. One was addressed to Sirius while the other, a tiny box was addressed to you.

You picked up the last gift waiting for you under the tree, shaking it gently when you noticed it was Sirius’ handwriting. You suspected it might be a gag gift, something silly or prank-like. He didn’t say he was going to get you a gift at all, much less something meaningful.

But then again, you said you weren’t getting anything for him either. So much for that.

He tore open his last present, blinking when he saw what was in the box underneath. It was a beautiful, new cherrywood record player, the same one he was admiring in the village when you went to the record store earlier that week. He stared at the box, and then lifted his eyes to meet yours. You refused to look at him, far too embarrassed. He wasn’t supposed to know you were the one that bought it for him. It was addressed anonymously for that reason.

“Y/N, I don’t know what to say,” he stumbled on his words for perhaps the first time ever since you met him. He struggled to find the right thing to say. All he could muster was a “Thank you”, staring down at his present in awe.

Secretly, while he was off looking at records in the store, you’d asked an attendant to send the parcel through the mail to your home so you didn’t have to carry it all the way home. That way, Sirius didn’t know you bought it for him either. You wanted it to be a surprise.

“I saw you looking at it, so it only made sense to buy it for you,” you told him, trying to fight the flames threatening to rise in your cheeks.

“Well, you should open your gift too,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck as you looked down at the tiny box in your hands. You untied the ribbon on top and set that on the floor beside you. Hesitantly, you opened the box, revealing the necklace you’d been eyeing down in the store the other day, the one with the pink stone and sparkly golden chain.

You looked at the chain for a moment, gawking at how stunning it was before lifting your eyes to meet Sirius’ gaze. You opened your mouth to say something, anything really, but no words came out.

James whistled, peering over your shoulder at the piece of jewelry. “Wow, nice one, Pads. It’s just her style, that’s for sure,” he commented.

“Thank you, Sirius. It’s lovely.”

“It’s nothing really. It was the only thing you really seemed to like when we went to the village together.”

But it wasn’t nothing, really. It meant everything to you as you clipped it around your neck, taking a hold of the pendant and admiring it. When you looked up, your mother was trying to get photos of the two of you, motioning for you and Sirius to sit beside each other. You couldn’t say no to your mother, so you sat beside Sirius, maintaining space between you two until she urged him to wrap and arm around your shoulders.

You felt strange pressed to his side, smiling for the camera. It felt different, being by his side in his arms like this, as a family. For a moment, everything felt so perfect. Him holding you in his arms, your mother smiling brightly at the two of you while your father and brother watched content. Remus watched from the sidelines with that knowing smile on his face, one that made you flustered at what he was proposing behind that grin.

You felt the same that night, when you climbed onto the roof of your house, on the old shingles. You laid back on the roof, staring up at the half moon above you with a sigh. The necklace hung from your neck, and you didn’t think you would ever take it off. It was your favorite gift you’d ever received, if you were being honest.

The window beside you opened and there he was, sticking his head out the window to find you, tilting his head to the side. “Do you always come out here?” he asked, and you nodded.

He climbed out his window and laid down beside you on the just slightly sloped tiles, folding his arms behind his head. “What do you want?” you asked, sounding a bit harsher than you wanted. You bit your tongue from saying anything else that might come out worse than you intended.

“Nothing, just wanted to see what little miss Y/N was doing all on her lonesome. Just watching the stars, huh?”

“It’s one of my favorite things to do, after all.”

“I forgot. You’re a total astronomy nerd.”

“I just like the stars, the way things align just perfectly.”

He hummed. You couldn’t see, staring up at the sky, but he turned his head to face you, watching your profile as if it was the most gorgeous sight he’d ever behold. He wanted to roll over and kiss you, to hold your cheek in his palm and press his lips to yours, to taste your lip gloss and the hot chocolate you drank after dinner. He wanted to brush your hair behind your ear and fall deeper into your soul. He wanted to drown in everything about you.

The necklace he bought you looked just right around your neck, and he was happy you were still wearing it. He wanted everyone to know that you were his girl, the one that he’d given his heart to. He could care less about all those other girls when he had you, if only you were within arm’s reach.

“Do you think the stars will ever align for you? Give you everything you dream of?” he asked.

“I think we all have to work for what we want. The stars don’t control our destiny,” you replied softly.

He looked back at the sky with a smile across his lips, finally feeling at peace after wishing for so long that you would let him have a moment with you where you weren’t trying to argue with him or run away like you usually did. “Wise words from a wise girl.”

“Wise? We’re talking about me, not Moony,” you laughed, “I’m just as lost in life as you are, Black.”

“I might be lost, but I do know one thing. I’m glad to be here with you.”

“And I’m glad you’re here, too.”

Part Two coming soon

#sirius black #marauders era #sirius black x reader #sirius black one shot #sirius black fanfic #sirius black is awfully cute in this #harry potter x reader #hp fanfic #harry potter fanfic #fem!reader

532 notes · View notes

weasleykisses · 7 months

Text

New two part enemies to lovers (?) sirius black fic coming some time this week if anyone is interested in that

4 notes · View notes

weasleykisses · 7 months

Text

Masterlist

Remus Lupin:

Never His (6.2k)

friends to lovers, fake dating, but not with Remus 00o00, fluff and angst

Never His (18+ version)(8.2k)

same story line but has some spicy parts (not essential to the plot). please only read if you are of age

You’re So Pretty (Multi-Chapter)

remus and you very clearly like each other, however, hes convinced you have a crush on a mutual best friend. Friend-to-lovers, oblivious!reader, jealous!Remus, best friend!Sirius, mutual pining

Sirius Black:

Astronomy: Part One (5.6k) Two (5.3k)

Current WIPs:

1) Multi Chapter George x Hufflepuff!Reader

2) Remus x Secret Admirer! Reader

99 notes · View notes

weasleykisses · 7 months

Text

Never His (Remus Lupin x Reader)

A/N: when James needs help asking out Lily, he enlists you to play his fake girlfriend to make her impossibly jealous. In the process, you end up making Remus Lupin green with envy.

18+ Version! Read at your own discretion please!!!

Clean Version Here

Word count: 8.2k

You weren’t expecting James to throw himself into the chair across from you in the library, his face holding the most desperate of looks. He brushed his messy hair back from his forehead as he got situated in the seat. James looked like he had run all the way across the school to find you. You raised a brow, peering up from the textbook on the desk that you were trying to study. Remus turned to stare at his friend as well, taking a break from his own reading.

“Y/N, I need your help. It’s super important.” That could mean a lot of things, you thought. He was known for being quite the drama queen after all.

You replied smoothly, “I’m afraid I’ve got to hear the terms and conditions before I agree to anything.”

“Be my girlfriend,” James said bluntly. This took you by surprise. Your jaw fell slack, looking at him as if he had two heads. Was he insane or just incredibly stupid? What the hell happened to his obsession with Lily Evans? Since you met the boy in third year, he hadn’t shut up about the beautiful redheaded girl. She was certainly a catch too, with her looks and her brains. Who wouldn’t want to be with a girl like that?

You could feel Remus sit up straight as a board in the seat beside you, staring over at James with his eyes narrowed. The change was barely noticeable. James probably missed it; he was never very perceptive. You, other hand, noticed. Of course you did. You noticed everything about Remus. He was like a novel you had read a million times, comforting and familiar. Anything out of place, you took notice of.

You could certainly feel the tension coming off of Remus is waves. He never liked when James and Sirius fucked around with people for the hell of it. It wasn’t that he was a stick in the mud or anything, it was just that he hated when those two disturbed his peace with you. Hated it. Couldn’t he spend a few hours away from them? Enough time to appreciate your company?

Cautiously, you asked, “James, have you gone mad?”

He shook his head, eagerly reaching across the table and clasping both your hands between his, shaking them with excitement. “No, I have not! I’ve actually come up with a brilliant plan, but it will only work if you agree to help me out,” he said a bit too quickly, and you furrowed your brows, still awfully confused by the entire thing.

Remus was silent, just observing. He was angry, how could he not be? You were his girl. Well, not really. He had never asked you out, or implied he wanted you to be his girlfriend. But everyone knew that he liked you, maybe not you yourself, but everyone else. This included James. He should know better than to ask you out, especially right in front of him. It was cruel.

He wanted to argue with his best mate, James. Give him a shove in the shoulder and tell him to fuck right off. He refrained though. He wasn’t that bold, nor did he have the right to control what you did with your life. He wasn’t your boyfriend. He wouldn’t ever be your boyfriend. He just had to keep his mouth shut.

“Mind explaining then, Prongs?” you asked, pulling your hands from his grasp to cross your arms over your chest and leaning back in the chair.

“Be my girlfriend, just for a couple weeks, maybe a month. I’ll do anything you want if you help me out.”

“Why would you want me to be your girlfriend for any amount of time?” you scolded him.

“I want to make Lily jealous. The only way I can do that is showing her that I’ve moved on to other girls, but I don’t actually want to date anyone else,” he said, “You’re one of my best mates, and I don’t have to worry about you catching feelings for me like the other girls would.” He cracked a grin when you rolled your eyes at his cockiness. James wasn’t ugly, but he also didn’t have girls falling over themselves to be with him like Sirius did.

“Oh, thank Godric. I thought you actually wanted me to be your girlfriend.”

“Of course not. You’re like a little sister to me,” he laughed.

“Anyway, what would I have to do?”

“Be my fake girlfriend for a month and I’ll buy you anything you want. We only have to pretend when we’re in front of other people, especially the girls. It’s basically fool-proof.”

“More like foolish, you dumbass,” you sighed. It wasn’t the worst proposition, considering James and his family were rich as fuck. He really could buy you anything you desired.

Remus was pretending that he didn’t care, his eyes trailed back down to the novel in his hands. James was just up to no good again, nothing out of the ordinary. He was hoping you would decline James’ request, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. You were great friends with James, and were usually willing to help him out in any way you could. He hated that he had to sit there and listen to you discuss plans to date like it was completely normal.

“Please, Y/N, please. You're the nicest girl I know. You gotta help a friend out,” he begged.

Just shut the fuck up, James. Remus thought to himself. He would never say it aloud though.

“Fine. I expect half of Honeydukes inventory as compensation, but I’ll do it,” you told him with a heavy sigh. He punched the air enthusiastically then hugged you so tightly around the middle that he lifted you from your chair and swung you around in his arms. He was quite strong from being a dedicated chaser, after all. You laughed nervously, pushing against his shoulders so he would set you back down. “Really, it’s no big deal. I’m doing this because I think you and Lily would be cute together, alright?” You told him.

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied swiftly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Sit next to me at dinner today. We’ll play it up then, make it public.”

“Okay.”

He turned around after giving you one last thumbs up, rushing out of the room to no doubt tell Sirius about his plan. They did everything together, so of course Pads would either figure it out himself or find out after James caved and explained himself. You took a seat again in the wooden library chair, sinking down with your hand pinching the bridge of your nose.

“I don’t know why you entertain him,” Remus finally commented. He sounded bitter, but you figured it was just because your study session was interrupted.

“No harm done. I get a bunch of candy, he gets one step closer to the girl of his dreams,” you reasoned, resting your cheek in the palm of your hand.

If you were being honest, you wished that it was Remus asking you to be his girlfriend, but Remus didn’t care for you like that. You were just friends. Both of you enjoyed your quiet time together, whether you were reading or drinking a cup of tea. You liked to go to Hogsmeade together and drink butterbeer in a booth, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. It was something the other boys weren’t interested in. You could try hanging out with Lily, Dorcas, and Marlene, but they would always drift off to talking about boys, James in particular.

Remus just had a way of keeping your attention, entertaining your curious mind. You two had become so close over the years because of it.

You were the one that snuck into their dorm on nights after the full moon, healing potions in your pockets and bandages at the ready to clean up his injuries. You didn’t mind that he was a werewolf, in fact, you thought it was pretty interesting. It compelled you to work harder in your studies to be a healer, so one day you might be able to lessen his pain. Needless to say, you really liked Remus. He was handsome, tall, positively dreamy, and oh-so-sweet like honey and sugar. He was one of a kind, and you would be lying if you said his determination to stay just friends didn’t sting a little.

But the world keeps turning whether or not the boy you fancy likes you back. You tipped your head down again to study the text in front of you. Studying was especially hard now that you couldn’t think of anything other than James asking you to be his girlfriend before you mustered the courage to ask Remus.

______

The next time you saw James was at dinner that evening. You sat beside him after he waved you over. Normally you would sit on the opposite side with Remus flush against you to make room for everyone else at the table. Today, Sirius sat beside Remus and you took Sirius’ seat right beside James. He slung his arm around your shoulders to get you closer to him.

The brunette practically pulled you into his lap with how eager he was, and you yelped, garnering the attention of the other boys at the table. Remus scowled, turning his head down to glare into his soup. James didn’t have to be so dramatic. Lily would get the point without all the theatrics.

In fact, Lily was sitting at the other end of the table with her eyes trained on you and James. She looked a little perturbed, and when James turned to glance down the table, she quickly turned her head away, pretending she wasn’t at all interested. Real smooth, Lily.

You knew Lily liked James, at least a tiny bit. She talked about him far too often not to. You were in a few classes together, and James was a frequent topic of discussion. While Lily would never admit to her crush, she hinted at it here and there. It was a similar situation for you and Remus, who you vehemently denied having a crush on for a few years now. Lily was probably shocked to see you in the arms of someone else.

You played it up for the crowd, people from the surrounding tables looking at the both of you and whispering amongst themselves. Y/N and James? How scandalous.

Your hands were clasped together, fingers intertwined and sitting between you on the table for everyone to see, and it disgusted Remus. Sirius was practically gagging at the sight of two of his best friends being so openly affectionate, but at least his disgust was jokingly. Remus was genuinely disturbed. He wanted to leave the dining hall and head right to his dorm for the night, just to avoid the pangs of betrayal assaulting his heart.

He ducked his head to take a deep breath, trying to pretend like nothing was wrong. That James and the girl of his dreams openly acting like a couple wasn’t completely tearing him to shreds.

He figured Sirius caught on to how he was feeling because the black haired boy turned to him with a sympathetic, half smile, as if to say “what can you do?”.

“I missed you today, babe,” your voice dripped out, oozing with fake attraction. A sickly bright smile crossed your lips as you looked at James. Even worse so, James leaned forward and gave you a kiss to your cheek, and it didn’t even phase you. Since when were you and James so close? Even with the two of you playing it up, Remus never expected you to be so casual about it. It was like flirting with James came to you so naturally.

The pair of you laughed together and faked lovey dovey smiles here and there. It seemed to work too, because after only about ten minutes of PDA, Lily was packing her belongings and marching right out of the Great Hall with Mary following closely behind, most likely to console her. James grinned even brighter at that and pumped his fist in the air.

“I think it’s working,” he said happily, and you nodded. You still had to hold hands, to keep up the image for everyone who didn’t know it was fake, but at least you could chill out a bit without her around. You sipped on the baked potato soup in front of you.

“Working a little too well, don’t you think? What if she gets so upset that she moves on from you completely?” Remus asked, rather grouchy as he did so. He felt so sick to his stomach, unable to take another bite of his dinner without his inside churning.

He decided he was done with his dinner after looking up to his two friends all cuddled up with each other, deciding he had better things to do than endure this torture. He packed his bag and stood. You watched him stand, and quickly followed, gathering your belongings just as he did.

“Rem, wait up. Where are you going?” It wasn’t like him to leave dinner so early. You figured something was wrong. Your worries were only confirmed when he let out a long, exhausted sigh. You knew him too well to let him sneak past unscathed.

“I just need to take a walk. Not feeling the best,” he lied. Well, technically it was true. He felt like shit, just not in the way he wanted them to think.

Behind your back, you missed the look Sirius and James shared, that sneaky smirk coming to rest across his face. You also missed the way Peter snickered a bit under the cover of his hand. His friends were absolutely awful for doing this to him, but they thought it was the only way to wring a confession out of him. Hit two birds with one stone, as they say. Get both Lily and Remus jealous at the same time, hopefully uniting two perfect couples in the process.

“Well, I’m coming with you. We can go take a walk in the courtyard.” He didn’t protest as you hurried to catch up him and his long legs, your robes flying behind you as you rushed ahead. Just because you were “dating” James didn’t mean you were going to ignore Remus when you thought something was wrong.

And so, you followed your tall friend out of the dining hall into the hallway, making a b-line for the exit doors heading into the transfiguration courtyard. He felt a little better knowing you were with him and not cuddled up to Potter anymore. He was incredibly jealous, not that he would do anything about it. He didn’t even have the right to be jealous either. He had to remind himself time and time again, you weren’t his. You never were and most likely never would be.

It wasn’t long before the pair of you found your ways to a covered bench in the courtyard, sitting side by side, staring at the fountain in the middle of the snow dusted grass, looking into the pool of frozen water complete with golden coins preserved in the bottom. It was a muggle tradition that some students brought from home to the castle. They’d throw a coin in and make a wish, hoping it to come true.

There had been a few times you tossed a galleon in there, begging Merlin himself to give you what you wished for most in the world. The boy sitting right beside you, in fact. You had been making those same wishes for years now, and each time you were let down. Remus never asked you to be his girlfriend, nor did he kiss you in the rain like you always fantasied about. He hadn’t noticed the hints you would give him about how you felt, either ignoring them or choosing to be oblivious to them.

You cried many tears over the years because of your feelings for the boy. How conflicted you felt about confessing to him. You worried you would miss your opportunity and he would move onto another girl, but you also feared for your friendship. You didn’t want to make things awkward and lose him completely.

You watched the snowflakes as they fell around fountain, wondering what happened to all those wishes. Every wish you made begging to finally be his.

“Aren’t you cold?” he asked, looking down at your skirt and knee high socks, a thin slit between them exposing your bare skin to the frigid, snowy air.

You shook your head, snapping out of your daze. “I’ll survive,” you laughed, pressing your forehead to his shoulder. “What’s on your mind?”

“Really, Y/N, it’s nothing.”

“The only other time I’ve seen you storm out of the dining hall before having dessert was the day Sirius put a whoopie cushion under your seat. You can’t lie to me, sweetheart.” He felt his heart pang in his chest at the nickname you always used for him. He wanted to be your sweetheart, to love and kiss you whenever he wanted. To hug you to his chest and profess his love into your ear. He wanted to hold hands with you during lunch, and to have you sit in his lap in the common rooms, regardless of who was around to see. He wanted everything to do with you. He wanted to just drown in your soft words and your gentle touches.

But he knew, just because you want something doesn’t mean you’ll get it. It felt like he needed you, to breathe, to eat, to sleep, to function like a normal human being. Maybe it was his naive 18 year old brain telling him these things, but he swore that he loved you more than anyone could imagine. He loved you from the tip of your nose all the way down to your feet. Every inch was perfectly tailored just how he liked it.

“Whatever it is, you’re gonna be alright,” you assured, nudging his shoulder gently with your own. For a moment, he forgot about the entire James situation and just thought of you, how you made him feel, and he did feel alright. He always felt safe when you were around. Even when he was his most vulnerable after a full moon, he trusted you to care for him.

James didn’t know you nearly as well as Remus did. He knew it was stupid to worry about you catching feelings for the brunette chaser with a wicked grin, but he couldn’t help it. Not when he had seen girls flock to his two attractive best friends for years. He knew it was stupid, and he knew he should live in the moment.

In this moment, he had you to himself. He could pretend you were his, all he ever wanted.

“I guess you’re right,” he mumbled, fiddling with the strap of his bag. “You always know how to make things better.”

“Me? What about you? You always know just the right things to say.”

He wanted to say just how much he loved you. He could feel the words stuck in the back of his throat, and he just wanted to cough them up. You took his breath away, literally.

It was quiet for a long time, just the two of you sitting there quietly, listening to the chilly breeze flying through. Your hand rested beside his on the bench, your fingers close enough that if you moved a couple centimeters you would be touching. What he wouldn’t give to hold your hand in his and press kisses to your knuckles.

He needed you, and he was just so scared. Seeing you with James made him upset enough, but the thought of losing you completely made him feel worse. Your time at Hogwarts was ending soon, and he worried so much, overthinking every little thing.

He wondered if you thought about the same things. If you worried about your life when you graduated. Where you would go and what kind of person you’d turn out to be. He knew you spent a lot of time working on healing spells, assisting in the infirmary when you could. You wanted to be a healer at St. Mungos, saving people.

Maybe you could save him, too, keep his head above water when things got difficult. The life of a werewolf is never easy, and he couldn’t imagine what it would be like without you by his side to ease the pain.

“When we are done with all this- Hogwarts, I mean…You’ll keep contact with me, right?” he asked, feeling that familiar sickness churn in his stomach, afraid of what you might say. He knew you would never say something cruel, but he found himself preparing for it each time. He was afraid he would never hear from you again once you found a good job at the hospital taking care of patients, running around each day busier than the next.

He felt the self-deprecation sneaking back in.

You nodded your head furiously. “Of course! I would never forget about you, Remus, you know that right?” When he didn’t respond, you reached up to take both his cheeks in your cold hands. You ran your thumbs along the scars across his face ever so delicately, he felt like you were running a feather against his skin. He sighed into your touch, leaning his head into your hand. “You’re my best friend. Nothing and no one could ever take me away from you.”

Bravely, he reached out so his strong, calloused palm rested on your thigh, his fingers pressing warmly against that gap between your socks and your uniform skirt. Shivers ran down your spine at the touch. He was so gentle with you, it made your heart melt into goo at the mere thought of his touch. You were sure he could hear your heart beginning to race with how hard it pumped in your chest, how excited he was making you.

“What did I do to deserve you?” he murmured, just loud enough for you to hear him over the wind blowing against your ears.

“If anything, I don’t deserve you.” You ducked your head as you felt heat rush into your cheeks. “You’re perfect, Remus. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

After taking a deep breath, he started, stumbling a bit over his words, “Y/N- I have something to tell you.”

And you swore he was going to kiss you. As he stared down into your eyes, his eyes flickering down to your lips a few times. You waited for it, sitting there in anticipation, watching his every move. You felt his hand resting on your thigh, rubbing small circles against your bare skin. Goosebumps rose to the surface and you shivered more from the contact than the cold breeze whipping against your face.

You were sure he was going to kiss you, if only the doors to the courtyard didn’t burst open with students barreling through the doorways. Quickly, you pulled your hands down to your lap and he shoved his hand into his pocket. Your eyes trailed to the ground, and you mentally cursed yourself for being too slow, for not kissing him yourself when you thought the time was right.

Maybe he didn’t intend to kiss you. Maybe he was confused and was just showing you affection to reciprocate your own. Either way, you felt a spark with Remus that you hadn’t felt with anyone else. The kind you think you’ll only know once in a lifetime.

Whether you were fake dating James or not, you weren’t going to let that feeling go.

______

You and Remus were lying together in his bed, you with your head towards the foot of the bed on your stomach. A textbook laid out in front of you as you studied the content from your Potions class earlier that morning. He sat at the head of the bed with his back against the headboard, feet kicked out beside you. You would study together sometimes in the comfort of the boys’ dorms, when the others weren’t around to disturb the silence. It was relaxing.

Despite having a book in his hands that he was attempting to read, he couldn’t help himself from peeking up every now and then, glancing at your legs kicked up in the air behind you, and the way your skirt rode up just a tiny bit, enough that he saw more of your thighs than usual. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t look at them from time to time. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t check you out nearly every time you entered a room. You were beautiful, and he was madly obsessed with you.

You kicked your feet and peered behind you, wiggling your eyes at Remus. “Guess what I’m reading about?” you prompted him, the smile on your face hinting at what it was.

He thought for a moment before replying, “Amortentia?”

“Precisely. We’ll be making it next week, if Slughorn keeps up with the schedule,” you hummed, “Ever thought about what it would smell like?”

Like you, he thought, but he would never admit that aloud. It was far too embarrassing, and he had no idea how she would react. He still wasn’t one hundred percent positive where they stood. He was fairly confident that he was stuck in the friendzone. It was unfortunate, but he figured it could be worse. You could hate him.

“I don’t know. Probably chocolate, old parchment, that kind of thing,” he replied. Really, it would have smelt like your vanilla and lavender shampoo, or your cherry lip balm. They were your signature, something he had become familiar with over the years he’d known you. “What do you think yours will smell like?”

“Probably chocolate, old parchment, mint,” you started listing off familiar scents, and he found himself paralyzed with surprise.

“What are you-”

“Oh, and your cologne,” you giggled, moving from your spot at the end of the bed to crawl up closer to him. “Remus, you’re blushing.” You poked his cheek as he felt his face burst aflame. You settled yourself between his legs, leaning over to wrap your arms around his neck. Your lips skimmed over his ear, moving further down to trail kisses against his jaw, his neck and eventually his collarbone. When you gently bit down, sucking and licking at his skin, he groaned. You just laughed at him, and kissed further down his neck, tongue gliding against his warm skin.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” he stuttered, eyes wide and hands hovering in the air, not exactly knowing what to do with them in a situation like this. You’d never come onto him so strongly. You’d never come onto him at all, actually. He wasn’t ready. He felt like a deer caught in the headlights.

An erection grew in his pants and more you kissed him, leaving marks up and down the right side of his chest and neck that would no doubt leave noticeable bruises.

“What do you want to do with me, Remus baby?” you whispered into his ear, “I promise I’ll be a good girl for you.” You lifted his face to meet yours in the middle, lips pressed to his. He swore he had died and gone to heaven because he never imagined this, even in his wildest of fantasies. He bit down on his lip, as you took a seat on one of his thighs, rubbing your core against his leg, the wetness from your soaking heat staining his own slacks.

You moaned as you rode his thigh, your clit rubbing against him through your panties.

“What-What do you want to do?” he asked nervously, still not knowing what to do with his hands. He settled on resting them on your hips, his hands just barely above your ass. You shook your head. After a second of adjusting, hovering a few inches above his leg, you reached down to take one of his hands and press his fingers to your throbbing clit.

“Touch me,” you breathed.

“Oh God,” he muttered, beginning to rub small circles against your hardening nub. He slid his fingers under your underwear, pressing his fingers directly on your swollen clit, eliciting a couple high pitched moans to leave your lips. Your hips ground down on his fingers, wanting to be as close to him as possible as he felt you in ways you’d only dreamt about.

You were dripping wet by the time he dipped his first finger into your pussy, burying his middle finger deep inside, sliding it up and down your inner walls as you threw your head back, your eyes shut and your mouth just slightly open, enough for your quickened breaths to leave your lips. He worked in a second finger, and you encouraged him.

“Yes, baby, that feels so good.”

“You’re so fucking hot,” he muttered under his breath.

You pressed yourself further onto his hand, riding it like your life depended on it. The coil in your stomach slowly got tighter, and you groaned, your head falling to rest on his shoulder. He couldn’t believe how lucky he got, with you, sitting on his hand, riding his fingers. He’d been starved of attention for too long, and here you were giving your everything to him. You gave him your body and your kisses, and the sight of your supple skin.

You leaned up just a bit so your lips pressed against his ear. You asked, “Do you want to fuck me, Remus?”

“Yes, Godric, yes,” he practically begged, feeling his dick twitch in his trousers. He was already dripping precum just from feeling the pressure of your body on his, and the wetness of your pussy on his hand. He couldn't believe how soaking wet you were for him, how attracted you were to him.

You slid off his fingers, standing beside the bed and slipping your panties and skirt down your legs, stepping out of them. Next, came your shirt, followed by your bra, your titties on full display for him to see. You smiled at him, doing a little spin so he got a chance to see all of you, giggling when his eyes widened. All of this, for him. He was the one that got to stare at your naked body, the only one that got to touch you, to kiss you and be kissed back, he was the only one that got to fuck you. He could have cum from the thought alone.

Hurriedly, he shimmied out of his slacks, followed by his underpants, his already hard dick springing free. Your eyes widened and you gasped. “I know you’re tall, but I didn’t expect your dick to match,” you praised, and that only made him more eager to get back to the action.

“How do you want it?” you asked.

“Ride me?”

You nodded, climbing back onto the bed and positioning yourself so you were on your knees on either side of his thighs, you pussy hovering just inches above his dick. You stuck your fingers inside and then rubbed them up and down his cock, making sure you were wet enough to take all of him as easily as you could. As you sunk down inch by inch onto his dick, you moaned softly, your eyes shut, taking everything in for the first time, how he felt and how he stretched out your tight pussy.

“You’re so pretty, Y/N,” he told you. “I love you, princess.”

If you weren’t riding his cock, you would have replied back, but you were too busy being stretched to think coherently. You just moaned, biting the back of your wrist to keep from crying out. He was just so big, you felt like he might be tearing you in two. Slowly, you raised yourself up on his dick, and then sunk down to the base, letting out a deep exhale when all of him was finally inside of you.

“Y/N, you take my dick so well, don’t you?” He grabbed at your hips, helping to lift you off his dick and then slide you back down. Your hands pressed to his chest, supporting yourself as you bounced on his cock. You could feel him pressing against your tight walls, stretching you just right. You could feel his hands on your hips, strong and firm just the way you imagined in your dreams. Your breaths were shallow and you shut your eyes.

“Touch me, Remus, please,” you pleaded.

He didn’t hesitate either, his fingers reaching between your legs and finding your clit again, working it in small circles to have you practically falling apart in his hands.

“You want me to cum all over your dick, don’t you, baby?” As you fucked yourself on his dick and he touched you in just the right places, you felt your lower abdomen start to tense, and a tingle turned into a firework as you came around his cock, grinding down on his fingers as you rode through your orgasm sloppily.

You fucked him so well, milking his cock. “Y/N, I think I’m gonna cum soon-”

“Cum inside me,” you told him, “I want you to fuck me when you come.”

“Oh fuck, Y/N, just like that,” he groaned, “Y/N, you’re so amazing. Fucking hell.”

“Wake up,” you said suddenly, and he blinked, his orgasm drifting away as you continued, “Wake up, Moony. Get up.” That wasn’t how this was supposed to go. What did you mean? He found himself wondering until another ‘wake up’ left your lips and it didn’t quite sound like you.

Hold on, that was Sirius’ voice.

Slowly, with a bit of shaking and loud demands for him to wake up from his slumber, Remus opened his eyes and looked up into the candlelit dorm room. His blanket had been thrown to the floor beside him, leaving him in just his boxer shorts and a tank stop. Sirius stood over him, his hand on his shoulder shaking him awake.

“Finally, you woke up,” the dark haired boy said quietly, even though it appeared that everyone was already awake. Peter sat up in his bed trying not to stare while James was hanging off the edge of his mattress laughing until he was red in the face and struggling to breath. “You woke up the rest of us with your, uh-”

“Your wet dreams, Moony! Thinking about a special someone?” James snickered, another hearty laugh leaving his mouth. “Y/N, oh Y/N! Fuck me harder, Y/N!”

Remus felt his cheeks turn a bright shade of red at the exclamations of his tactless friend. He looked back at Sirius who stood by his bedside with a sympathetic look on his face. “Happens to the best of us, Moons,” Sirius reassured him, but let his eyes flicker down to Remus’ nether regions for a second. Remus peered down at himself, only to see a big wet spot staining his pants. He groaned, covering his face with a pillow to hide his embarrassment, maybe try to fade away into nothing to avoid the joking from his friends.

“Y/N! Y/N! I love you, Y/N!” James mocked him again, laughing hysterically just like before. “You are down so bad.”

“Don’t even start, Prongs. Not with your literal obsession with Evans.”

“At least I don’t wake everyone up in the middle of the night because of a sex dream.”

“Oh fuck off, Potter,” Remus mumbled, rolling out of bed and grabbing a new set of pants from his wardrobe.

“We gotta get you laid, dude.”

He flipped the middle finger in the air as he left the dorm, heading to the showers at the end of the hallway to clean up the mess he’d made of himself. How awkward and embarrassing. He was so obsessed with you, he had to make up fantasies in his head just to get intimate with you.

He really felt like a loser now.

_____

You two were the star couple of the party that night, standing in the middle of a celebration for Gryffindor, James holding a cup of liquor in his hand, and you carrying something fruity. He had his arm hooked around your neck, pulling you in close so his lips just barely skimmed over your ear. You smiled, finding the feeling of his skin against your ear and the breaths he was exhaling to be quite ticklish.

Lily was behind you, watching from the corner as she sipped on something nonalcoholic. She was never a drinker, and that just made it all the more infuriating for her to see you two dancing so intimately while she was stone-cold sober.

“I reckon she’s getting close to her breaking point, doll. You’ll be getting a shitload of candy once she approaches me about this entire thing,” he whispered and you laughed, nodding your head in agreement. Dating James wasn’t actually that bad. The only downside was that Remus wasn’t spending nearly as much time with you as before. Probably because you had to spend most of the day following James around to keep up the illusion of this whirlwind love affair.

It hurt, not seeing your best friend. You missed his company. He was your favorite person ever, with his pretty eyes and his adorable smile. The way his sandy hair would fall over his eyes was effortlessly beautiful, and his sweaters made him look so intelligent and mature, two qualities you loved in men. James was unfortunately neither of those things. Perhaps that’s what made “dating” him so simple. There were no surprise feelings between you two because the things you each wanted in a significant other were completely different.

You wanted a Remus in your life. Someone so handsome it had you swoon. Someone kind and soft and gentle around the edges. Someone with a sweet tooth and a pretty smile that you could stare at for days without getting bored of it. You loved to talk to him about anything and everything, he just made it all so interesting. You wanted someone who shared your love of books, candy, and peace and quiet. Remus Lupin was all of that and more.

He was just so lovely. You wished he was the one you were dancing with and not James. You wished that it was his lips pressed to your ear, whispering sweet nothings to you instead of these nonsensical plans of making a certain redhead jealous.

He sat on the couch, talking with Peter about something that happened in potions that morning. He looked stunning with his face lit up by the flames in the fireplace. If only you could walk over there and take a picture, keep it forever, look at it whenever you were feeling down.

He glanced up at you every now and again, just checking. He never looked for very long though, turning his head down with a grimace on his face each time. Remus couldn’t stand the sight of you so intimate with someone else, even if he knew it was all fake.

But how was he supposed to know if you’d accidentally grown feelings for his friend over the course a few weeks. You’d gotten much closer, hugging and kissing on the cheeks and forehead quite often. You laughed when James told jokes no matter how stupid they were. You attended his quidditch matches, which you hated doing before this entire mess.

Remus was afraid you changed your mind somehow. That you now thought James Potter was someone you could see yourself dating for real.

He couldn’t handle the thought, feeling himself beginning to crumble. He tried to maintain the conversation with Peter, only to feel himself zoning out, eyes trailing over to you helplessly every time.

You wrapped your arms around James’ neck, dancing slowly at the song that played over the record player. “Are you okay with me kissing you?” He asked, “I think it’ll be the nail in the coffin to finish all of this.”

You pulled back a little, your face draining of its color. Did you want to kiss James? Not particularly. Did you really care? It was hard to say. You wanted to be kissing someone else, a certain boy on the couch, but that was out of the question. You and James were just friends, two actors trying to woo the girl he so desperately wanted. It was like acting in a school play. It was just pretend. Harmless, really. James had kissed tons of other girls before you. It was normal for him.

You always kind of imagined this sort of situation with Remus. It stung a little to know that you would sooner have the chance to kiss James Potter as opposed to your actual crush.

You peered over your shoulder for a second to see Lily looking absolutely taken with James, and then turned back to the boy in front of you. It was a tough decision, but you ended up nodding your head. “It’s okay. Nothing too dramatic, yeah?”

And with that, your quidditch playing, Lily-obsessed friend kissed you right in the middle of the bustling party. You lips pressed together and you shut your eyes so you didn’t have to look at him. He ran his hand down your cheek and over your jaw for a moment as he leaned in closer, really trying to make it look authentic.

Thankfully, it was short lived because soon enough, someone else had grabbed your arm firmly and tugged you out of James’ clutches. You turned around to be met with a sweater vest clad boy glaring down at the two of you with an unimaginable amount of frustration in his expression. His entire face from cheeks to the ears was red, and his lips were downturned into a frown.

“Rem-” you started, but he interrupted you.

“That’s enough,” he muttered, and you could clearly hear the hurt in his voice. James tried to make it better, claiming that it was all for show, that he should calm down a bit, but Remus wasn’t having any of it. “I think your little fake relationship thing has run its course, don’t you think?”

“What’s wrong, Remus?” you questioned, peering up at him with those bright e/c eyes he had come to adore, and had missed over the past few weeks. “James, you stay here. Remus, let’s head to the dorms,” you suggested, motioning with your free hand to the stairwell leading up to the boys’ room. You certainly didn’t want to cause a scene.

James nodded, brows raised when he looked at Remus, a small smirk on his face. You didn’t know what he meant by that expression, but Remus sure did, and he was regretting the day he ever confessed to the boys that he fancied you. He wondered if James had an ulterior motive by fake dating you;if he did it to make Remus jealous, because if that were the case, he most definitely succeeded.

As you led him to the staircase, you noticed over your shoulder that poor Lily was walking over to James, her head ducked down shyly as she approached. James, as confident as ever, flashed a sparkly white grin and started a conversation as if it were the most easy thing in the world.

Remus followed you up the stairs and into his room, which was empty considering everyone was downstairs partying the night away. You shut the door behind him, finally letting go of his arm so you could cross yours over your chest. He was tall, and you had to look up to meet his eyes, but he was never intimidating to you. Not even when he was angry like today. He was too gentle to yell at you, much less hurt you in any way.

“Mind telling me what’s got you so upset?” You tapped your toes on the floor, the soft clicking noise ringing out in the quiet room, music from outside muffled by the heavy door.

You didn’t notice the water that was beginning to gather in the corners of his eyes.

He thought for a moment, before a whisper fell from his lips, and you almost didn’t catch it.

“Why did you have to kiss him?” he asked weakly, his voice suddenly a lot softer now that you were alone. A lot sadder, too. “Why did you have to kiss him right there in front of me?” he repeated, squeezing his eyes shut and he pressed the palms of his hands to cover them. He felt heartbroken. Absolutely crushed that you had kissed his best friend, that he had to watch as you did so. It was so casual, like it didn’t even matter to you, but it mattered the world to Remus.

He felt he might cry. Tears bubbled up in the corners of his eyes and he tried his hardest to keep them from dripping down his cheeks. No matter how hard he tried, he found himself crying anyway.

You were crestfallen when you noticed the tears running down his cheeks, a gasp coming from your lips. He was crying, and it was because of you. You had done this to him, your best friend, the guy that you supposedly had a crush on for nearly 4 years straight now. You’d never made someone cry; it broke your heart.

You rushed up to him, bringing your hands up to move his, letting them sink to his sides. Softly, with the pads of your thumbs, you wiped away the salty tears running down his cheeks. He didn’t even shy away from your touch, he just let you wipe them away silently, not daring to look you in the eyes. His eyes were stuck to the ceiling, trying to blink away what he was feeling. You being so nice to him only made things worse. He felt like an ass. You could do whatever you wanted. If you wanted to kiss James, so be it. He had no right to be upset when you weren’t his.

“Remus, sweetheart, it’s gonna be okay. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

It was silent for a moment as he thought of what he wanted to say, as you stared up into his teary eyes with concern etched across your face. It was getting harder and harder to pretend everyday that he wasn’t bothered by your presence when you weren’t in his arms, when he couldn’t freely touch you and love you, and kiss you silly until you were laughing with glee. It took so much effort to suffocate all those feelings down. He didn’t think he could fuck things up anymore, so he said the only thing he had on his mind.

“I love you.”

You were at a loss for words. He loved you? You felt your heart beat faster in your chest at his words, and you shook your head, clearly having misheard him. There was no way that Remus Lupin loved you. Not in the way you thought he meant. Surely, he would have said something by now. Surely you would have caught onto what he was feeling this entire time. “What?”

“Don’t make me say it again, Y/N. I’m already pathetic as it is,” he muttered, his eyes now drawn down to the red carpet below their feet.

“Remus Lupin loves me,” you whispered mostly to yourself, “You love me?”

He chuckled bitterly, “As catastrophic as it is, yes, with all my heart, Y/N. Since the very moment I laid eyes on you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I-I would have never kissed James if I knew-”

“Why would I tell you and fuck everything up?”

“Fuck everything up? Remus, I just wasted my first kiss on James Fleamont Potter when I could have been kissing you!”

“What?” Now it was his turn to be confused. He looked up to you finally, his eyes still glassy from crying, lips just agape with surprise.

You shook your head and laughed. “I’m in love with you! It’s always been you.” Your arms wrapped around his middle, hugging him to your chest and laughing into his sweater. He immediately took notice of your warmth radiating through his clothes, bringing him back to the real world. You loved him. You, the girl of his dreams, were hugging him and confessing your love to him. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and brought you closer to his body, cradling you like a precious artifact in his possession. He never wanted to let you go again.

He sighed, resting his chin on the top of your head. “You have no idea how hard it was keeping my cool around you all this time. When I saw you snuggled up to James, I wanted to kill him. He knew better than to make me jealous.”

“James knew how you felt about me?”

“Sirius, James, and Peter all knew.”

“And none of them thought to enlighten me? The betrayal.”

You inhaled the scent of his sweater, chocolate bars and mint coming in like waves. He was everything that you loved in the world all condensed into a single perfect person. He fit in your arms like a puzzle piece.

“Guess you’ve got to break up with James now,” he mumbled into her hair, stroking the back of your head, “Because I’m never letting you go ever again.”

“I think that can be arranged.”

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin one shot #james potter x reader #harry potter x reader #hp fanfic #harry potter fanfic #remus lupin fake dating #harry potter #remus lupin #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin nsfw #remus lupin x you #fem!reader

1K notes · View notes

weasleykisses · 7 months

Text

Never His (Remus Lupin x Reader)

A/N: when James needs help asking out Lily, he enlists you to play his fake girlfriend to make her jealous. In the process, you end up making Remus Lupin green with envy.

18+ Version Here

Word count: 6.2k

“Y/N, I need your help. It’s super important.” That could mean a lot of things, you thought. He was known for being quite the drama queen after all.

You replied smoothly, “I’m afraid I’ve got to hear the terms and conditions before I agree to anything.”

Cautiously, you asked, “James, have you gone mad?”

“Mind explaining then, Prongs?” you asked, pulling your hands from his grasp to cross your arms over your chest and leaning back in the chair.

“Be my girlfriend, just for a couple weeks, maybe a month. I’ll do anything you want if you help me out.”

“Why would you want me to be your girlfriend for any amount of time?” you scolded him.

“Oh, thank Godric. I thought you actually wanted me to be your girlfriend.”

“Of course not. You’re like a little sister to me,” he laughed.

“Anyway, what would I have to do?”

Be my fake girlfriend for a month and I’ll buy you anything you want. We only have to pretend when we’re in front of other people, especially the girls. It’s basically fool-proof.”

“More like foolish, you dumbass,” you sighed. It wasn’t the worst proposition, considering James and his family were rich as fuck. He really could buy you anything you desired.

“Please, Y/N, please. You're the nicest girl I know. You gotta help a friend out,” he begged.

Just shut the fuck up, James. Remus thought to himself. He would never say it aloud though.

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied swiftly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Sit next to me at dinner today. We’ll play it up then, make it public.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t know why you entertain him,” Remus finally commented. He sounded bitter, but you figured it was just because your study session was interrupted.

“No harm done. I get a bunch of candy, he gets one step closer to the girl of his dreams,” you reasoned, resting your cheek in the palm of your hand.

Remus just had a way of keeping your attention, entertaining your curious mind. You two had become so close over the years because of it.

______

You played it up for the crowd, people from the surrounding tables looking at the both of you and whispering amongst themselves. Y/N and James? How scandalous.

He ducked his head to take a deep breath, trying to pretend like nothing was wrong. That James and the girl of his dreams openly acting like a couple wasn’t completely tearing him to shreds.

He figured Sirius caught on to how he was feeling because the black haired boy turned to him with a sympathetic, half smile, as if to say “what can you do?”.

“I just need to take a walk. Not feeling the best,” he lied. Well, technically it was true. He felt like shit, just not in the way he wanted them to think.

Behind your back, you missed the look Sirius and James shared, that sneaky smirk coming to rest across James’ face. You also missed the way Peter snickered a bit under the cover of his hand. His friends were absolutely awful for doing this to him, but they thought it was the only way to wring a confession out of him. Hit two birds with one stone, as they say. Get both Lily and Remus jealous at the same time, hopefully uniting two perfect couples in the process.

You watched the snowflakes as they fell around fountain, wondering what happened to all those wishes. Every wish you made begging to finally be his.

“Aren’t you cold?” he asked, looking down at your skirt and knee high socks, a thin slit between them exposing your bare skin to the frigid, snowy air.

You shook your head, snapping out of your daze. “I’ll survive,” you laughed, pressing your forehead to his shoulder. “What’s on your mind?”

“Really, Y/N, it’s nothing.”

In this moment, he had you to himself. He could pretend you were his, all he ever wanted.

“I guess you’re right,” he mumbled, fiddling with the strap of his bag. “You always know how to make things better.”

“Me? What about you? You always know just the right things to say.”

He wanted to say just how much he loved you. He could feel the words stuck in the back of his throat, and he just wanted to cough them up. You took his breath away, literally.

He felt the self-deprecation sneaking back in.

“What did I do to deserve you?” he murmured, just loud enough for you to hear him over the wind blowing against your ears.

“If anything, I don’t deserve you.” You ducked your head as you felt heat rush into your cheeks. “You’re perfect, Remus. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

After taking a deep breath, he started, stumbling a bit over his words, “Y/N- I have something to tell you.”

You were sure he was going to kiss you, if only the doors to the courtyard didn’t burst open with students barrelling through the doorways. Quickly, you pulled your hands down to your lap and he shoved his hand into his pocket. Your eyes trailed to the ground, and you mentally cursed yourself for being too slow, for not kissing him yourself when you thought the time was right.

Whether you were fake dating James or not, you weren’t going to let that feeling go.

______

Remus was afraid you changed your mind somehow. That you now thought James Potter was someone you could see yourself dating for real.

You always kind of imagined this sort of situation with Remus. It stung a little to know that you would sooner have the chance to kiss James Potter as opposed to your actual crush.

“Rem-” you started, but he interrupted you.

James nodded, brows raised when he looked at Remus, a small smirk on his face. You didn’t know what he meant by that expression, but Remus sure did, and he was regretting the day he ever confessed to the boys that he fancied you. He wondered if James had an ulterior motive by fake dating you; if he did it to make Remus jealous, because if that were the case, he most definitely succeeded.

“Mind telling me what’s got you so upset?” You tapped your toes on the floor, the soft clicking noise ringing out in the quiet room, music from outside muffled by the heavy door.

You didn’t notice the water that was beginning to gather in the corners of his eyes.

He thought for a moment, before a whisper fell from his lips, and you almost didn’t catch it.

He felt he might cry. Tears bubbled up in the corners of his eyes and he tried his hardest to keep them from dripping down his cheeks. No matter how hard he tried, he found himself crying anyway.

“Remus, sweetheart, it’s gonna be okay. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“I love you.”

“Don’t make me say it again, Y/N. I’m already pathetic as it is,” he muttered, his eyes now drawn down to the red carpet below their feet.

“Remus Lupin loves me,” you whispered mostly to yourself, “You love me?”

He chuckled bitterly, “As catastrophic as it is, yes, with all my heart, Y/N. Since the very moment I laid eyes on you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I-I would have never kissed James if I knew-”

“Why would I tell you and fuck everything up?”

“Fuck everything up? Remus, I just wasted my first kiss on James Fleamont Potter when I could have been kissing you!”

“What?” Now it was his turn to be confused. He looked up to you finally, his eyes still glassy from crying, lips just agape with surprise.

“James knew how you felt about me?”

“Sirius, James, and Peter all knew.”

“And none of them thought to enlighten me? The betrayal.”

“Guess you’ve got to break up with James now,” he mumbled into her hair, stroking the back of your head, “Because I’m never letting you go ever again.”

“I think that can be arranged.”

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin one shot #harry potter x reader #harry potter #remus lupin #marauders era #remus lupin fanfic #fake dating #harry potter fanfic #james potter x reader #marauders x reader #hp fanfic #fem!reader

2K notes · View notes