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weezmancer3 · 5 months

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I don't know what they put in The Batman 2022 with Robert Pattinson, but I need it injected into my veins.

#fr fr #batman #robert pattinson #battinson #the batman 2022 #its so bad but so good #the emo batman we needed

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non-licet-bovi · 2 years

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i just now selina not gonna let this man sit in the dark listening to grunge forever he is gonna learn who tinashe is FAST

#batcat #batman #catwoman #bruce im so sorry youre emo but we cannot listen to mcr AGAIN this week you need a bad bitch playlist #bruce youre losing your spotify privileges #please bruce pop your pussy like this like that

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riddlertrophy · 2 years

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the way gotham oswald’s look is influencing comic penguins RISE. make him goth and hot AND fat

#2022 oz is the sexiest penguin like we know this but we need the goth base covered #COMBINE THEM!!!#no but i'm so interested to see what the standard penguin will look like in the coming years #because there are tons of danny devito-esque monstrous penguins still to this day batman returns definitely shifted the general public's-#-idea of the penguin #you really didn't get gotham-esque penguins until recently it feels like #how did it take you all this long to realize how much his design fucks #are we going to get to a point where the general public associates emo hair with the penguin. much to think about

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vipower001 · 2 years

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DP X DC prompt (Victorian gothic styled Danny) part 1:

So we are all familiar with the immortal Danny Phantom AU. I was thinking of this and I realized that in most immortal au's Danny gets different jobs and degrees then wouldn't he try out different styles?

Like if he's going to live forever then he would totally try out different aesthetics. He first tried a gothic/emo style because of Sam, then a boho look, then a futuristic look. He even tried a bunch of different eras, like he did the 80's for a bit then the '70s, and eventually the 60's, 90's, and so on.

And so I imagined he is in Gotham and when he moved there he chose a victorian gothic look because of the vibe of Gothams architecture. So there he is walking the streets of Gotham at night dressed in a dark green shirt with a black waist coat and pants,wearing a trench coat that bairly touches the ground. He has a cane and everything. his hair is slicked back and neet with a few hairs escaping the front. He of course has gloves on because not only is it stylish it helps hides the coldness of his hands.

Anyway, he's walking around Gotham at night and he comes across one of the Bat kids, or if you want Batman himself, and he sees that this bat is getting their arse handed to them and so since he has an obsession to help (I usually say he has an obsession for protection but I think in this au it will be just the need to help or assist). So here is this bat about to get shot or something thinking, "well this is how I die then" when all of a sudden said bad guy about to kill said bat is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head with a...Is that...a cane?

Danny then beats up all the baddies in less than a minute, he's just a flurry of darkness, his trench coat is flowing behind him as he takes the bad guys down with his cane and fists. The bat he saved is just on the grown watching this go down with wide eyes. After Danny takes them all down he brushes off nonexistent dust (and isn't that something. He's in Gotham, in an ally, in one of the worst parts of Gotham, and he doesn't have a spec of dirt or grime on him) off of his coat and pants and turns to the Bat and, extending a gloved hand, says "Are you alright?".

The bat is just shocked and does not know what to say. Eventually, they are helped to their feet, and Danny, after checking to make sure their ok, says goodbye and leaves. Right after he leaves the bat snaps back to reality and goes to run after Danny who had just exited the ally, only to find he has disappeared. The bat reports this to the rest and as they go over the footage they realize that it looks tampered with because the area where the guy was is fuzzy and the sound is disoriented.

Batman obviously thinks it's a new meta in town and tells all the Bats to keep an eye out for this meta. Meanwhile, Danny is just chilling in Gotham, taking a century off from working and just exploring the sites.

Mabey he could have been led there by Clockwork or some ghost was giving Gotham some trouble. I don't know, but the idea of a victorian goth-dressed Danny striding around Gotham looking like a rich victorian gentleman taking a stroll through a park is hilarious.

Some pictures to better help you get an idea of the fit (pics all from Pinterest)

#danny phantom crossover #danny phantom #danny phantom au #batman #dp x dc prompt #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dp crossover #victorian gothic danny #immortal Danny Phantom

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mysterycitrus · 5 months

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i’m curious what your favorite non comic depiction of dick is (television, film, animation, video games etc) and what you’d want to (whether too) see in if he does make it back to the big screen in the pattinson batman sequel

i want dick grayson to be in the battinson sequel SO bad. there was a compilation I saw of tweets talking about how those acrobats need to fall so we can get brucie to speedrun parenting and like…. yeah. the batman was camp, robin being there will make it campier. it’d be so good. bruce would be so afraid this child will skewer himself on all the sharp architecture in his gothic emo mansion by doing too many kick flips. i want robert pattinson to hang out with a ten year old — they’d be about the same kind of weird

wrt other depictions probably the dick grayson we get in teen titans 2003 and young justice are like… the closest to comic canon depictions. tt03 is relatively true to his ntt characterisation, and young justice can have a good balance of humour and ruthlessness.

i don’t love them tho because the titans (specifically donna and roy) are either absent or written by someone suffering from an undetected carbon monoxide leak. like….. they’re such an important part of dick grayson’s character. the live action titans was ok just because donna was there and i loved anna diop as kory. honestly i think we’ll only get actually good portrayals of his character (especially as nightwing) if the titans are included in some capacity.

ofc the actual correct answer is robin in the lego batman movie

#dick grayson #dc comics #nightwing #teen titans #the ask and the answer

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nightwolf14292 · 2 months

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Some of my Thoughts About Batman: The Animated Series as Someone Who Knows Very Little About Batman Lore (PART 1)

(This is just the first three episodes because it's late and I'm tired and I'd like to go to bed now lol)

•Bangin intro has me very hyped

•Police blimps

•"No one is taking a vigilante force onto my streets." Commissioner Gordon.. Wtf do you think Batman is-? Do you know who Batman is at this point in the series?

•Gotham citizens have a hard time telling the difference between an emo and an actual anthropomorphic bat despite the fact that they look nothing alike

•ALFRED IS HERE AND THAT MAKES ME HAPPY BECAUSE HE'S REALLY COOL •HE'S A SARCASTIC KING AND I LOVE HIM •We have the same sense of humor frfr

•Batman really likes using smoke bombs

•From reading the episode descriptions, and from watching this first episode, it seems like a lot of these villains are just drug addicts- •Drug addicts who really like bats, in this case

•The anthropomorphic bat was a doctor's fursona all along •There's a ridiculous amount of furries in Gotham

•They really like breaking windows. This is only the first episode and like.. Three windows have been broken already

•Christmas tree rockets

•ROBIN SPOTTED •WHICH ROBIN IS THIS •I KNOW THERE'S A LOT OF 'EM •Whichever Robin it is has sass, but I think all of them do •"Well ba-humbug to you too 😒" - Robin •THEY'RE WATCHING MOVIES AND EATING DINNER TOGETHER ON CHRISTMAS THIS IS A CUTE FAMILY MOMENT ASJSHAHSJAK •Unfortunately the Joker is here to mess that up tho T-T

•"Looks like I'll have to teach daddy some manners.." Uhhh, Joker..? 💀

•Look at this lovely father & son Christmas bonding, saving people and getting shot at with canons 💕

•I feel like the Joker having turrets shaped like him is really on brand somehow, despite knowing little to nothing about the Joker's said brand

•BETTY BOOP? •BETTY BOOP IS GOING TO MURDER US ALL

•Batman just has a freaking baseball bat 😭🖐 •"They don't call you Bat-man for nothing! 😀" - Robin

•According to the five minutes of research I just did, I think this Robin is Dick Grayson which is, according to the longer then five minutes of research I did last night, the OG (AKA the first) Robin.. So before Bruce's orphan addiction fully formed, I suppose?

•What did Bruce do to you, doctor guy- •This doctor is, like, really passive aggressive ;-; •Also kind of rude of him to just spout nonsense about Bruce's father and Bruce's father's death as if that wasn't an incredibly traumatizing experience for Bruce lmao •BRUCE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TIME TO BE DEPRESSED ABOUT IT BECAUSE SCARECROW IS HERE AND HE HAS A GUN- •The villains in this series are kinda obsessed with guns just as much as they're obsessed with drugs

•So Scarecrow takes the "Scare" part of his name literally and makes people hallucinate their fears? •Damn Bruce, dealing with some trauma right now?? 😭😭 I feel like a lot of characters with parent problems (whether those parents are dead or not) have visions and dreams of their parents being like "you suck lmao" to them

•Commissioner Gordon does, in fact know who Batman is right now, so wtf was he talking about earlier with the whole "no vigilantes" thing -_-

•yeah I'd probably call someone a lunatic if they kidnapped people and performed human experimentation too, scarecrow

•Guys I think Bruce needs to go to therapy (again? Has he already been before?) because he's having- like- a panic attack over this Scarecrow guy and his parents and all that.. •I mean my mans hands are SHAKING and his visions going all blurry •YEAH YOU TELL HIM ALFRED, GIVE HIM THOSE POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS AND FEED HIM SOUP ALL RIGHT

•Bruce literally can not catch a break in this episode he went from having panic attacks because of the fear toxin to just.. Getting beat up by random, also fear gassed people 😔

•They like blimps a lot

•Just broke another window

•Tiny plane that looks like it's made out of cardboard

•They also like explosions a lot

•Why's this Jonathan Crane guy so scared of bats •He also has elf ears lol

•Thomas and Martha Wayne? Bruce's parents names acquired

•(This version of)Bruce looks stupid in sunglasses

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tetras-stuff · 2 months

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I asked my sister who knows nothing about Resident Evil to look at pictures of the characters and describe what she thinks of them. Here is what she said for each character

Jill

- massive asshole

- a little gay

- needs a haircut and a shower

- shops exclusively at thrift stores

- she looks greasy

Chris

- gay

- bottom

- likes baking cookies

- has a nicki minaj American flag

- does the white girl dance to romans revenge in the club

- would ask the DJ to play ABBA at a rave

wesker

- OOO THATS A GAY MAN

- very homophobic but he's still gay

- loves the movie mean girls and watches it religiously

- he smokes candy cigarettes

claire

- "I'm not racist but"

- makes POV tiktoks unironically

- posts thirst traps thinking she's that girl

- peaked in high school

- mean lesbian

ada

- follows you round a puppy dog if she likes you, if she doesn't like you she's a mega bitch

- "I'm not like other girls"

- watches POV tiktoks unironically and religiously

- "I'm not even wearing makeup today guys omg stop 🙈"

- says she's goth because she listens to Arctic monkeys

Luis

- gay

- Italian

- "is he gay or european" but he's both

- extremely extremely gay

- loves lego batman but only lego batman

- a flirt

- loves fashion and fragrances

- gay

- looks like he comes from what we do in the shadows

ethan

- loves Ben shapiro

- would spit on a drag queen

- is so homophobic he has to be a bit gay

- thinks men are too feminine these days

Sherry

- Russian and thinks singing Russian songs is cultural appropriation

- doesn't care about male or female attention

- loves horror movies and chick flicks

- thinks she's different because she likes earl grey tea

jake muller

- would spit on a service worker

- shoplifts but only small things like pens

- steals all his clothes from dumpsters

- acts gangster

- a bit fruity

- paints his nails and is embarrassed so wears gloves

leon kennedy

- is the drag queen ethan spits on

- loved the barbie movie and has an "I am kenough" hoodie

- can't drive

- either really gay or an over the top ally who wears "my friend is bi I don't ask why" shirts to rallies

- dog person

- would have a giant dog and a tiny dog

- he's a romantic and goes all in for relationships

- unironically finds scary movies really scary

Carlos

- was bullied in school

- would sit through a chick flick with a girl

- really feminist but also a "wheres my hug at" guy

- posts about how much he hates Andrew tate on Instagram

- loves emo girls because he was bullied for being emo

- loves guns n roses

- loves girls who don't wash

#resident evil #some of these are accurate but some hurt my heart #ada wong #leon kennedy #luis serra #jill valentine #chris redfield #claire redfield #albert wesker #carlos oliveira #jake muller #sherry birkin

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thenamesbabe-crybabe · 7 months

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I just love how humanity loves our detectives. Like,,, we're always playing with the classics, writing more, we just love solving things. David Suchet is THE Poirot, but we keep rerereadapting Agatha Christie's stories, because we wanna keep playing with this concept, try to figure out what was really making the culprit tick. The sheer number of Sherlock Holmes adaptations is overwhelming!!!! Both in film and book! We made him modern! We made him modern and American!! We gave him another sibling! (Ps my favorite book adaptations are by Laurie King (old man Sherlock solves crime) and Kareem Abdul Jabbar (more focused on Mycroft)). tbh this is why I think we keep redoing Batman movies! We just can't seem to get this funky emo detective man quite right!!!

Anyways, everyone should read more mysteries bc apparently as humans we're obsessed

Also if you need book recs,,,,, uhhhh I know someone (spoiler, it's me)

#mystery #mystery novel #shay rambles #shay has thoughts after staying up too late #detective #detective story #long post #ish #book recommendations #Batman #sherlock holmes #cbs elementary #enola holmes #hercule poirot #agatha christie #arthur conan doyle #bbc sherlock

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actiondetectives · 4 months

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Just read Robin & Batman by Jeff Lemire with art by Dustin Nguyen so heres an extremely long review (unasked for) because I have so many thoughts (spoiler warning)

I really loved the relationship and personal growth for both Dick and Bruce that they showed across just 3 issues.

I know we've all become accustomed to slice of life batdad but starting out emo boy Bruce Wayne was just looking for a soldier and I think this story is where he really starts to learn how to be a father. He makes some clear missteps like invading Dick's privacy by reading his journal but he was just trying to do something nice for Dick. It's interesting to still see both of them as humans who are making mistakes and it's nice to see how that changes across the issues.

But you can see sooooooo clearly that he is trying to be a dad, even if it's in his weird loner edgelord ways. He makes sure to give Dick the best birthday possible by introducing him to his peers at the Justice League, as well as their sidekicks who would be soon to become the first iteration of the Teen Titans in #2 which was probably my favorite issue of the limited series. Overall it's a very sweet issue until the twist towards the end where it's revealed that it was actually secretly a recon mission

Just the dichotomy of Bruce Wayne trying to be a normal person and also The Batman and that reflecting on Dick is really interesting. Especially while simultaneously Alfred is there to provide more of that fatherly presence, despite Dick ultimately wanting it to come from Bruce.

And, of course, in the end after their big fight with Killer Croc they have their big moment where Dick really comes into his own and fully becomes Robin. UGH SO GOOD. It's where we see the clearest moment of Bruce's growth, and Dick realizing he doesn't need to be like Bruce he needs to be by himself. Sidenote, I did think Waylon's character in this was really interesting. I'm not sure if he's normally part of Haly's Circus but him having a personal grudge against Dick for making him feel isolated just makes him more menacing. ALSO THE PARALLELS. Part of me fully expected the end result to actually be Dick solving the problem without his fists but oh well. Overall great series with lots of amazing moments!!

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prismuffin · 1 year

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Ik he’s not on your list but would you be willing to write Male!Reader who is a very talented detective in Gotham meeting Superman for the first time? Like Superman is filling in for Batman maybe and the reader catches his eyes? If you don’t want to do that that’s fine to but if you do take it I hope you’ll have fun with it! (Oh and a one shot if possible!)

A/n: Hunterrrr wassup with you and detective readers huh? 🤨💀 It's not necessarily Henry Cavills superman I just couldn't find another gif- but if thats who you want to imagine then go ahead!

Intrigued

Superman x male!detective!reader

( summary: As you waited for your emo vigilante friend to show up you're surprised when a Kryptonian fills his spot )

warnings?: light swearing, mentions of burglary and crimes, bullets and fighting, also mentions of heights

!-!more under the cut!-!

You sighed, getting out of the cop car as you took in the scene before you. Gotham never sleeps huh? Your eyes scan over the front of the bank building, the front windows are completely smashed allowing you a small view of the already labeled crime scene inside. “Do we know who did this?” You asked a lead cop as you entered the bank and he nodded, pointing to a symbol on the wall that was made with bullet holes. A circle with a y in the center, a symbol for one of the many criminal gangs that flooded the streets of Gotham. “We already tried to take them into custody sir but they found loopholes within the law that don’t allow us to arrest them.” “Shit,” You cursed to yourself before an idea popped into your head. Maybe you couldn’t deal with them the lawful way but you know of a certain vigilante that would be pleased to help stop the crime that littered the streets. “I have an idea, finish up here yeah?” You clapped the cop on the shoulder and they nodded as you turned to leave.

Pushing past all the press and their microphones you made your way towards one of the tallest buildings in the city. You used your access to get to the roof, sighing to yourself as you prepared your ears to hear things like “I am the night,” and “I am justice.” For the next couple of minutes. Turning on the light, you stood back with the your arms crossed. Part of you wondered if he’d even show up, it’s been a minute since you’ve seen him brooding on the top of buildings, lurking as you arrive at a scene of a crime or even since he’s called you to tell you he’s rounded up some criminals for you to pick up. Only a few minutes went by before you heard something loud from behind you. Turning, you expected to see Batman's tall figure, his dark cape flowing about despite their being little to no wind. However, you were mostly shocked to come face to face with...Superman?

You'd heard about him before, not only from Batman himself but also just from media headlines and news stories. "Thought I called the Batboy here," You cocked your head to the side, arms crossed as you stared at the tall man dressed in blue. You could feel his eyes scan your form a few times actually before he stepped forward, his cape flowing a little less dramatically than Batman's. "I'm filling in for him," you raised a brow and he continued. "He said he had some personal matters to attend to and asked me to watch over Gotham while he was gone." "He asked you? Huh, that's shocking." You mumbled, though it was clear that he'd still heard it, his head cocking to the side. "He told me that whenever this light turned on it meant someone was in trouble." He took another step, watching your every move as you went to turn off the sky light. "Yeahhh, I need help but not for myself per se. There's this gang of criminals that stole from the bank and they somehow are getting over the law so I was hoping Batboy could round them up and stop them before they strike again." Now that he was closer, you noticed the smile he bit back at the nickname for Batman. "Well I'd be more than happy to help." "Great, we got the location of the street they usually occupy, might be a lot of them, think you can handle it all by yourself." He chuckled and gave you a firm nod, crossing his arms and flexing as he began to hover a little ways off the ground.

Show off, you chuckled and he held a hand out towards you. “Point me in the direction of the street and I'll deal with them now.” You were confused as you naively took his hand, practically screaming as he hoisted you in the air and flew above the cityscape. He laughed at the string of curses that exited your mouth, seemingly enjoying the way you gripped onto him for dear life. "Calm down, I do not plan on dropping you but if you keep squirming like that you'll fall right out of my arms." You stopped your movements at the sound of his deep voice, though it didn't stop you from talking. "Who the hell just grabs someone and flies off like that?! I couldn't get a warning at all- oh for fuck's sake we're so high up! Just put me down!!" "Right here?" He asked, his eyebrow raised as he waited for your words to sink in. "NO!! Don't drop me you insolent prick!" "So you want to stay in my arms?" You huffed and he chuckled at your struggle before asking you once again to point him in the direction of the street of criminals. You breathed to ground yourself (ironic isn't it?) before peeking at the city below you.

From this height it almost looked pretty, though you knew Gotham was anything but. Shakily removing one of your hands from his neck you pointed down towards the correct spot. "There, by the flashing green light." He hummed and you were quick to grip his neck again as he started flying towards said spot. Noticing your discomfort he slowed his flying speed and held you a bit tighter to ensure your safety. Landing on the ground with a much softer thud than before he looked around, scanning his surroundings before realizing you hadn't let go of him yet. "We're on the ground now." He said and your eyes shot open, quickly releasing his neck and stepping away from him though his grip on you didn't allow you to get as far as you'd like. He smirked at you as you brushed off your clothes, seemingly flustered, you cleared your throat and thanked him. He nodded and slowly let you go, you immediately missing the feeling of his warm strong arms wrapped around your body. "Meet me at the station once you're done here." You said, fixing your clothes once more as you made yourself look presentable again. "You know where that's at right?" You asked and he nodded. You mumbled a 'good' before walking away, your heart pounding in your chest as you attempted to calm yourself down from an encounter with the good looking male. His eyes followed you until you turned the corner, he was intrigued by your behavior to say the least. He cracked his knuckles as he began walking towards the street of the gang, he was gonna get this done quickly so that he could see you again, and maybe he'd show off just a bit to impress you.

----!----

( He was totally listening to your heartbeat as you walked away )

Thanks for reading! Have a great day/night!!

My requests are OPEN so feel free to request anything! Just make sure you check out my Request Info first!

See my DIRECTORY for upcoming fics!

Masterlist

#superman x reader #superman #clark kent x reader #clark kent #superman x male reader #clark kent x male reader #male reader #x male reader #superman x you #x you #dc x male reader #dc x reader #dc fanfiction #dc universe #dc universe x male reader #dc universe x reader #prismuffin

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lucky-katebishop · 4 months

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Batman: Legacy Commentary

I feel like we really didn't need this story, but I read it anyways. This is a follow up to the Batman: Contagion story, which was really good. This one was... fine. Here are some screenshots I took while reading! (note: there was like a 4 month break in between reading issues so I really don't remember half the screenshots I took and the context)

Classic Timmy. Also I love that Dick calls him 'shorty'. Such a big brother thing to do.

... yeah, sure, Tim. You're totally with it.

Aw, Tim... (this is when there's a chance that Tim could contract a deadly disease, the Clench, again) This comic is great for Tim and Dick bonding content!

AH! I forgot I screenshot this and it just gave me psychic damage! Tim and Helena's relationship means everything to me, he's her dumb little brother!

<3

Not Tim being a y2k doom believer! Baby, the worst thing that's gonna happen to you in the 2000s is that you won't be able to get past 17.

Tim in the 90s comics (not his own issues, that is) is usually pretty level headed, and so I really like when he kind of rages. There were a lot of moments in this series where both Bruce and Tim both lost their cool.

he's just a lil guy <3

he's serving with that Green Day shirt, our sad, emo boy

This line made me snort, I like that both Tim and I are shocked with Ra's keeping up with technology

Barbara appreciation screenshot!

Barbara appreciation screenshot #2!

This was so random... like they left off the series with Gordon and his ex-wife (current wife?) kissing and getting back together. This is after a little boy died in Tim's arms and Bruce found out that way more people died in Gotham than he had thought. And you end it with Gordon making out with someone who I had never even heard of before? Alright, Dixon... cute heart at least.

#ruth reads comics #dc #detective comics #tim drake #robin #batman #bruce wayne #batfam #batfamily #barbara gordon #helena bertinelli #dick grayson #nightwing #oracle #huntress #dc comics #comics #my posts

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me-the-bitch · 1 year

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So, we got some pretty cool stuff from Batman - Urban Legends #22

So, we know that Bruce’s parents are back and they found out about Batman. Thomas is not taking it well at all and is pretty pissed and even says he’s disappointed in him

Of course, that leaves a scar and it pains Bruce to listen to what his father has to say about Batman. And we, as readers and fans, know that this whole vigilante thing was born out of a need to honor his parents legacy. So imagine what goes through Bruce’s head at this moment. We know he’s hurting and will probably shut down and be all emo about it. Luckly for him, Dick steps in and reminds him of the reason he started it all and the awesome things he did because of it, including taking him in and saving him

Of course, after this is back in business as usual. So Bruce and Dick work together to solve the mistery of the Waynes presence in this timeline. And it’s so cool seeing Bruce admit to miss working with Dickie.

Damian’s role in all of this is touching and it brings a side to him that I really like: the self-sacrificing side. Damian knows that if his grandparents stay, the timeline will change and he will cease to exist. He undestands that his father suffers a lot since his parents were killed, so he is willing to sacrifice his own existence so Bruce can be happy again

Of course, Bruce will not let Damian just dissapear. So I guess we will see Bruce choosing between having his parents back or having his son. I think is safe to say that he will choose Damian, but it’ll be so cool to see this scene and listen to Bruce explaining it all to his parents and why he’ll choose Damian. Plus, it will be awesome to see the Waynes be undestanding of his position and support him fully because they would do the same if it were Bruce.

Anyway, I can’t wait for the next issue! Hope we have more nice interection between them!

#Batman #Bruce wayne #Nightwing #Dick grayson #Robin #Damian Wayne #alfred pennyworth #thomas wayne #martha wayne #batman urban legends #batfamily #batboys #comics #comic book #dc

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ursa-arrowbreaker · 6 months

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Me, thinking about mcr literally this morning: yeah I don't think we'll be getting any more shows or mcr5 anytime soon. We need a category 5 emo moment for that to happen, like how we got Foundations because of The Batman and OFMD happening at the same time.

Livenation, about to prove me a fucking clown:

#Mcr #Mcr5 #Tbp #My chemical romance #talking bear

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archon-maenad · 6 months

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batman would be horrified by the existence of kill orders on earth bet and I fucking love that. it always rubs me the wrong way that he places his ethics above human lives, so for him to be confronted by a society that has standardized the idea that people who threaten public safety while being uncontainable get permanently dealt with is just *chefs kiss* perfect. the birdcage would have him up in arms cause of his whole "everyone deserves a second chance" shtick but kill orders might actually give him an aneurysm.

talking about whether batman would survive in brockton bay is so last decade. we need to discuss how bet culture would give his self-righteous emo ass a heart attack.

#betpinions #dcpinions #parahumans #dc universe #batman

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to-the-stars8 · 2 years

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Vigilant Coffee

Summary; Gotham is no stranger to vigilantes, that much is obvious. Yet, when the Dark Knight himself shows up in your coffee shop one day, you can't help but feel this is just a recipe for more chaotic encounters.

1- Black Leather Behemoth

The bell rang on the door and you sighed heavily. It was way too close to closing for someone to be coming in with another coffee order. You were just about to clean the machines before flipping the sign when the customer entered. Like, who needed a coffee at three in the morning?

You were determined to finish sweeping so you called over your shoulder, “One moment, I’ll be right with you.”

“Take your time,” Said the gravely, deep voice.

You huffed out a quiet chuckle, the guy sounded like Batman. Your back was turned to the customer but you picture the guy at the counter. He was probably some guy just crawling from the pits of his mom’s basement after looking at the hundredth blurry edit of Batman and his family on TikTok. He probably thought he was the next Batman, or that he could pull off most of the things the Dark Knight did.

Once you got the last of the dirt into the dustpan, you wiped your hands down your apron before turning around.

“Sorry about the hold-up, sir, I just—“ When your eyes landed on the six-foot, black leather behemoth before you could physically feel your blood pressure rise. Your mouth hung open for a few seconds when you realized that, in front of you, stood Gotham’s number one, most dedicated emo kid: The Batman.

It must have taken you too long to answer because he said, voice still sounding like he ate rocks for breakfast, “I’ll just have a black coffee to-go.”

You only nodded before you shakily went over to the coffee pot and switched it back on. Gulping, you turned back around. “It’ll…be a few minutes. I had just turned off the machine before you came in.”

Batman just stared at you for a few seconds before turning away. He seemed to be thinking or observing, you couldn’t tell with the mask in the way.

He turned back to you and said, “Your shop just opened recently?” It sounded more like he was telling you rather than asking.

“Yes,” You answered. “We just opened yesterday.”

“Hm,” Batman picked up a candy bar from the little shelf on the counter. “Congrats.”

You thanked him before just trying to make it look like you were busy. Having Batman watching you work felt like when your teacher stood behind you while taking a test. The moment the coffee maker beeped you thanked whoever listened to your prayers that it would break the silence. Shakily and hurriedly, you made Batman’s requested cup of coffee. Luckily, it was simple, so it only took you a few seconds to make.

“Here you go,” You said, sliding the cup onto the counter.

“How much?”

You could feel the flush on your cheeks. “Oh, um, it’s on the house.” A momentary flush of courage let you look up into his eyes. “You do enough already.”

Batman stared at you like that was the dumbest shit he had ever heard, and looked at the menu mounted on the wall above your head for the price. After putting the amount into your tip jar, from what you could only assume was a way to show what you said was fucking dumb, he turned on his heel to leave. You sighed, not of relief but of embarrassment. Everything that had happened in the past fifteen minutes felt like hours, and for every second of it you felt like the most foolish person in the world.

Tired, you said as he started to leave, “Be safe, Batman. And come by again if you need another coffee, I’ll make sure to charge you next time.”

When he looked back over at you, there was a hint of a smile forming on his face. “You’re the only coffee shop open this late, so I don’t think it’ll just be me coming back…Just a little warning.”

With that he vanished out the door. Almost literally vanished. The moment the Dark Knight stepped out into the night it was like he became one with the dark. That would have terrified you if you hadn’t taken his warning to heart.

You could deal with Batman for maybe—maybe—every once in a while, but his whole crew? No. One crazed man in a bat suit was enough, but the thirty that inevitably follow? Not worth seeing handsome men in spandex. The high blood pressure would definitely kill you, and you didn’t want to feel like a fool for every shift you covered.

For the hour you spent cleaning and panicking, you suddenly paused. Okay, you reasoned, maybe it wouldn’t be too bad. Handsome men in spandex? Worth it. Pretty ladies that could kill you? Very much worth the trouble.

Maybe you could do this. After all, it didn’t seem like you had much of a choice now.

#batfam imagine #batfamily #batmom #batfamily x reader #jason todd #bruce wayne #batman #red hood #nightwing #tim drake #damian wayne #robin dc #red robin #duke thomas #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #batfam #batman comics

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enneagramgoodvibes · 2 years

Text

All instinctual variants explained really well:

Written before I understood what the variants meant, not accurate at ALL

Sp-dom

Pre-occupied with own mortality

Funny in a sad way

Money = way to stay alive

“Special interest”

Thinks they ooze cool

Your anxious friend who never learned how to smile with their mouth open and not look like a milk carton kid/bitch

Sp-blind

Ranges from “silly y un poquito stupid” to “makes bad dangerous choices” depending on how you view their sp-blindness

Burns out and crashes

Your friend who’s gonna fail out of college

So-dom

Can make you feel comfortable

Dumb happy

Sometimes has parental lawful honors program energy

Can be a socialite monster for sure

Would structure personality around their friends

“I need everybody to like me or I’m gonna die”

Cult vibes

Your friend who joined a club and got really down for recruitment

So-blind

Maybe emo or anti-mainstream culture

Weirdo

Might make something groundbreaking and innovative

People = tools that can help fuel the sx or sp

Your friend who hasn’t changed in like six years

I’m not so-blind I have no idea someone speak to this please

Sx-dom

Has some vision or cause that they’re a huge asshole about

Good intuition

“We gotta follow the high!! We gotta go where the high is!!”

Let’s their emotions drive them forward

Addiction prone? Maybe?

Your friend who you’re afraid to say “hey fuckin chill man” because they’re so weird and intense about the high they’re on

Sx-blind

Spends a lotta time thinking “who am I???”

Spends more time thinking “what do I want???”

The NPC of stability

You remember when Robert Pattinson was announced to play the Batman and we all said “oh no absolutely not what the fuck”

Your friend who doesn’t fuck

#sp/so #sp-dom #sp/sx #sp-blind #so-dom #sx-dom #so/sx #sx/so #so/sp #sx/sp #so-blind #sx-blind #instinctual variants

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