#peace everyone I'll bring trying to sleep
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light in the dark | kim gyuvin
pairing: gyuvin x reader
genre: fluff
word count: 763
warnings: none. lowercase intended, not proofread
notes: im back!! hopefully pretty permanently. but i wanted to pick a random request to get me back in the zone a little so here we go,, i'm a little rusty so sorry everyone </3 i love you all lots i hope you're doing well!!
you were tired, exhausted even. so tired in fact, that you were sure the second your head hit the pillow your eyes would shut and you'd be on the ride to dreamland. oh how wrong you were.
the first half hour laying in darkness wasn't too bad, telling yourself maybe if you just laid there still for another few minutes that you would finally slip into a peaceful sleep. the half hour of that, not so fun. there was only so much tossing and turning you could too, only so many positions you could lay in in an attempt to finally get some rest.
the apartment you shared with your best friend was quiet, almost too quiet, and it was starting to get to you.
maybe i'll just get a drink of water. you thought to yourself as you hauled yourself out of bed, quietly slipping out of your bedroom and past your roommates door just across the hall. gyuvin shouldn't have to lose sleep just because you are, right?
you must have spaced out drinking your glass of water, trying to convince yourself that you could just lay down and fall asleep, because the voice emerging from the darkness nearly made your soul leave your body.
"you're still awake?" he called out quietly, the sound still amplified in your nearly empty apartment, the sleeping world outside only making everything feel that much louder. you let out a tired huff, "gyuvin you nearly gave me a heart attack," you took a second to steady your heartbeat, "but i could ask you the same, what're you doing up?"
he only shrugged as he walked closer, leaning against the island in the middle of the kitchen. his hair was messily laid across his forehead, dark circles found themselves under his eyes. even his shirt was all twisted around his tall frame, the small light on the counter made the collarbone peaking out from his oversized shirt more apparent... not that it mattered, obviously.
"go back to bed gyu, you look exhausted." you gave a small smile, bringing your hand up to fix the mop of hair on his head. only to have his hand grab yours gently, "you're the one who can't sleep," his usual goofy tone was gone, replaced with a soft, perhaps caring cadence. "don't think i didn't hear you kicking your blankets off the bed." a smile spread across his lips, despite the obvious concern for your wellbeing this evening.
you didn't know what to say other than mutter a brief apology for the disturbance, maybe you could've come up with something better, something more intelligible had the time not been pushing 3 in the morning. but that wasn't the case.
"you don't have to apologize," he said simply, squeezing your hand that was still in his, now hanging beside your standing figures. "what can i do to help?"
a moment of silence passed as you considered the options, considered what truly would help; you had no idea.
gyuvin seemed to take the silence as an answer in itself, simply tugging you back into your bedroom, hushing your protests about leaving the cup out on the counter. that's a tomorrow problem, he insisted.
he only let go of your hand for a moment to rearrange the blankets on your bed, picking up the ones that had been kicked off earlier in the night. he lightly hit the pillows in an attempt to fluff them, before hopping into your bed himself.
with his arms open he muttered a soft, "your turn." and before you could question him, he was grabbing your hand and dragging you into your own bed beside him, whether you liked it or not. but you were too tired to argue, and his embrace was too warm and inviting to resist, especially now.
his breathing so close to you would usually have you ready to playfully smack him, but like this? you could get used to this. it was safe. he was safe.
maybe it was the soft hands through your hair or the warm hand against your waist, but you felt yourself drifting off easier than before, and maybe it was just that sleepy haze that made you just that much more sentimental. "thank you gyuvin," you mumbled, breathing in the lingering scent of his body wash, "for everything, i love you."
you had started to drift off right as the words left your mouth, but you could've sworn you heard the boy mumble back as he pressed a kiss to your head. "i love you too y/n."
#zerobaseone#zerobaseonefics#boys planet#boys planet fics#boys planet imagines#boys planet reactions#kpop#boys planet drabbles#zb1#zb1 x reader#zb1 imagines#kim gyuvin imagines
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It Must Be Love
-> Masterlist || → Taglist
Pairing: Blade, Dan Heng, Jing Yuan, Gepard, Welt x (gn!) Reader
Summary: When they realized they had feelings for you...
Tags: Fluff, SFW, mention of injuries (Blade), just them realizing they're completely smitten
A/N: My last fic before my Japan vacation! I got a lot more in my WIP stash that I'll get to after. Excited to get to that when I'm back, or maybe I can finish one or the other fic in the evening on my vacation when I'm in bed. We'll see. Stay amazing until then! <3
BLADE
When you joined the Stellaron Hunters he shot down your every attempt of trying to get to know him and stayed clear of you. He was curt and only ever spoke with you if it was necessary. In his opinion, there was no need for you two to be acquainted. And it would be for your own good anyway.
It wasn’t until you came back gravely injured from a mission and were passed out for days, that he wouldn’t leave your side.
He sat on the armchair in your room most of the time, and was either sleeping or meditating with his eyes closed. He occasionally switched your bandages and cleaned your wounds while insisting he’d be the only one to do it. After all, he involuntarily had quite the expertise with injuries himself.
And when the day you began to stir awake again finally came, and he heard the quiet plea for water come over your parched lips, he felt a wave of relief wash over him.
He told himself over and over again that he didn’t care about anyone and wouldn’t dare to allow himself to care anymore. In fact, he may have even thought he wasn’t capable of it anymore. But feelings are often beyond one's control or rational explanation. And deep down he had always known that he cared deeply about you.
He had only steered clear of you because it had been evident to him, that if he allowed himself to care, there would be no going back. Alas, it now was too late for that as well. Yet it did not matter any longer. All he cared about was that you were still alive.
“Never get hurt like this again.” He scolded with a voice seemingly devoid of any emotion, as he lifted a bottle of water to your lips so you could drink.
But despite the underlying sharp tone in his voice, there was sincere concern in his eyes only a few people ever got to see. And he knew he was no longer able to hide it.
DAN HENG
Himeko brought you along one day and introduced you to the Astral Express Crew as their newest member, a bundle of energy much like March. And everyone seems ecstatic to welcome you aboard. Everyone but Dan Heng. He curtly introduced himself without shaking your outstretched hand, before vanishing back to his room again without another word.
It would be a lie if he said he didn’t find you attractive, but Alas, he couldn’t allow himself to get closer. One more person on the Express only meant there were more people he had to keep secrets from. Besides, you seemed just as lively and energetic as March was, and if he was sure of one thing it’s that one March was already enough. So that was even more reason to steer clear of you for his own peace of mind.
So in turn he tried keeping you at an arm's length. The only problem however was, that you apparently weren’t deterred by his cold demeanor and practically threw yourself at him at every chance you got.
You would often knock on his door to bring him some freshly brewed tea, rummage through the archive or call him quirky nicknames you came up with. He could only roll his eyes at them, but secretly he began to like them and caught himself smiling whenever he thought of them.
At first, he managed to remain distanced and only spoke to you when it was strictly necessary, but he soon began to warm up more and more. Until he would eventually find himself beginning to crave your presence every day.
And it was when he found himself looking at the empty chair you used to sit on almost every evening now, that he became aware of his feelings for you. The naggings and nicknames that used to bother him, now made his heart beat quicker and a tingly feeling made itself known in his stomach.
The simple image of your smile made the corners of his mouth twitch upwards. The sound of your voice always managed to soothe his nerves. And your absence made him feel incomplete.
It was then he had to admit to himself that there was no longer any point in denying it. He had inevitably fallen for you.
JING YUAN
When there was more administrative work to do on the Luofu due to the recent happenings, Qingzu, who was assisting Jing Yuan with the additional workload, proposed to hire someone else to help as well. To be precise, help with caring for the general’s lion, since it was usually Qingzu’s task. But since she was preoccupied with other matters right now, there was a distinct lack of time.
And that’s when you were hired.
You were tasked to care for Mimi in Qingzu’s stead from hereon out and seemed to immediately get along with the animal quite well, too. It certainly put Jing Yuan’s mind at ease to know that his lion was adequately cared for.
One day, when Jing Yuan returned earlier than usual from his duties he found you peacefully asleep on the sofa, your head comfortably nestled in the fur of the equally asleep lion. But he didn’t dare to disturb your slumber and returned to his desk with a smile on his face since he too felt the weight of sleep oftentimes throughout the day.
Once you awoke you practically jumped up when you saw him sitting at his desk already, ushering a shy “Oh, General. I didn’t expect you to be back home at such a time already. Forgive me.”
He just let out a soft chuckle in reply, assuring you that there was no need to worry and that it actually put his mind at ease that you got along so well with Mimi.
After this, he made a conscious effort to come back home earlier more often. And every time, without fail, he would find you sleeping together with his lion in the afternoon sun. Your peaceful expression and the quiet purr of his lion truly was a sight for sore eyes
And if his lion loved you, what was he supposed to feel if not the same?
GEPARD
Gepard saw you for the first time when he stopped by his sister's workshop. He caught a quick glimpse of you before you vanished into the side room of the workshop again.
Of course, his sister immediately caught him staring. Because he stood there stunned and only stared holes into the door you vanished through.
If Serval was good at one thing, it was reading Gepard like a book. And she only needed one look at his face to know exactly what he was thinking. Of course, she took the opportunity to tease him about it with a big grin across her face, much to the embarrassment of Gepard who only cleared his throat and diverted the topic, unable to hide the red blooming across his cheeks.
He soon found out that you were a singer and songwriter and that you and Serval sometimes performed together in a local club. And he found himself venturing there on his off days to watch your show.
Serval introduced you to him and eventually, you began to become closer. Asking him if he would come to your next gig as well. And of course, he did. In fact, he did so often that he had all your songs memorized down to a T now and often found himself humming them absentmindedly throughout the day.
And suddenly, as one of his subordinates asked him which song he keeps humming all the time now, he became aware of the feelings he harbored for you.
The warm, prickly feeling within his chest. The way his heartbeat quickened, or the corners of his mouth turned upwards involuntarily whenever he saw you, talked to you, or thought of you.
It was undeniable. He had fallen in love in love with you.
WELT
Welt and you were just colleagues. At least that's what he was trying to convince himself of at first.
Research and worries about your mission often woke you up at night recently, so you often got up to brew a fresh pot of coffee. And Welt found you sitting in an armchair in the parlor car one night when he, too, got up in the middle of the night because his thoughts had kept him awake.
You offered him a cup of coffee as well before you sat back down. Each just sipped their coffee in silence. You gazed at the stars outside of the window of the Express while he tried to read some book to keep his mind off the thoughts that had kept him awake.
Yet, he found himself unable to concentrate on it and instead stole glances at you while rattling his brain about what he could talk about with you.
Eventually, you were the first one to break the silence. Initiating a conversation about the vastness of the universe and the thing that are yet beyond any human comprehension. Asking questions no man knew an answer to yet. And he was more than happy to indulge in the conversation.
You ended up talking until the morning hours that night without the conversation ever dying down. He enjoyed the talk you had so much, he found himself thinking about it for weeks after.
Long deep talks over a fresh pot of coffee in the middle of the night should soon become a habit for both of you.
And he came to crave them so much that he even started setting an alarm at night and went to check if you were there again as well. And most of the time you were.
One night, when he looked at you and saw the light of the stars reflect in your eyes once again, he too had to admit he was looking straight at a star himself.
Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about HSR or my fics are always greatly appreciated and motivate me! Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr x reader#blade x reader#dan heng x reader#jing yuan x reader#gepard x reader#welt x reader#hsr fluff#hsr fanfic#honkai star rail fanfic#honkai star rail x reader#hsr drabbles#hsr imagines#🍁 dust writes#🍁彡 hsr
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Sleeping n' Fucking
Yan(ish)!Nerd x GN reader
Tw: cnc/dubcon, somnophilia, semi-degrading
AN; didn't proof read/edit and please welcome my nerd OC <3
˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊
Your teacher has decided to do a partner project right before the school semester ends. Fortunately for you, you got a partner who you sorta know. You have seen him a couple of times outside of the classroom, but never really talked to him a lot. So you went and sat next to him.
"Hey, your name is Luka right?"
"Yeah, that's me. Nice to meet you. Do you want to meet at my house to work on our project together?"
"Yeah sure, that works."
"Alright. See you then."
"See you."
As soon as you finish the conversation, the class has ended and everyone left. Luka slowly followed you from behind. Avoiding your line of sight, he made sure that you made it safely to your next class.
Classes went by and you were finally able to meet up with Luka again at the end of the day.
"Hey, hop into my car I'll drive us to my house."
"Alright."
Once you arrive at his house, you follow him to his room and sit down on his bed. Looking around at the posters and decorations. While you were looking Luka left to make some snacks and tea. Of course, he added something to make you sleepy and drowsy. He is giggling inside as he anxiously mixes the drink and carefully brings it up back into his room.
"Hey, sorry for taking so long, here is your drink and some snacks."
"Oh! Thanks."
You take the drink and slowly sip it. Luka sits next to you and pulls up the project requirements. Both of you threw ideas at each other to see what the project could be about to make sure it fit the criteria. After both of you agree on what to do, you start to feel sleepy and drowsy. Of course, Luka takes notice and his dick starts to harden. The more you fight to stay away the more obvious his bulge is. He carefully guides you to his pillow and watches you fall asleep as he turns his back to you, trying to pretend to work on the project.
As he glances back at you after a couple of minutes, you have fully fallen asleep and groans as he watches you. Looking so peaceful and innocent. He feels slightly bad but he's tired of watching guys flirting and or talking to you so that guilt quickly washes away. Carefully taking off your clothes, giving petals of kisses as he removes each piece of clothing. Sighing at the beauty of your body. His dick keeps twitching and he finally undresses himself.
He aligns himself in front of your entrance and rubs his pre-cum all over your hole. Sighing and biting his lip as he slowly enters your hole. Holy shit it feels so good to him as your hole clenches onto his dick. Giving you kisses as he keeps slowly thrusting back and forth. It feels so good seeing how weak you are underneath him. After thrusting slowly he picks up the pace and starts going ham. Groaning as he hears you softly whimpering and moaning as he abuses your poor little hole.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck. You like that huh? Being unable to defend yourself as I take your hole and training it to only love my cock, and only my cock. God, I love seeing you hopeless as I ram my cock into you. Oh, how I love seeing you and admiring you from afar. You have no idea how much I wanted you to myself. How I want you to whimper and moan for me, begging how good my cock is. God, I wish you were awake right now but I can't risk you screaming at me. Not yet at least. You will be with me. You will be mine."
He grabs your waist and slams you into him as he cums into your hole. Panting as he dumps his load into you and slowly pulls it out, watching his cum come out and puts on your undergarment. Taking his cock and carefully puts it into your mouth. Taking your head and slowly rock back and forth as you 'suck' his dick. Once he feels satisfied he cleans himself up and dresses you back to normal. Sighing at your beautiful and wrecked body wishing you were his.
AN; sorry that this ending was shitty </3
#✒ Fx's writing#my ocs#somnophilla#sonmo#x reader#cnc somno#smut#cnc k!nk#yandere#yandere smut#male yandere#gn reader#yandere oc#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#yandere nerd#nerd yandere
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say something pt 2.
summary: although playing for the same club, pedri and y/n cannot stand the thought of being around each other. enemies to lovers for all my slow burn girlies out there - i got u
a/n: not proofread and all in english + more installments coming soon!!
read part one here!
We were sat just above the bench, watching over one of the men's games. We had to do this regularly, to show our club spirit or something. The men, however, barely ever came to our games. I swear they only came for our Champions League Final and were out of the stadium when the ninety minutes were up.
“You’d think that such an expensive team would be good.” Ingrid was not impressed with the team playing. Her face had disgust written all over it and was really not afraid to show it.
“Don’t be mean. Not everyone can be as good as us.” Salma bolstered a smile, rubbing my leg aggressively. Rolling my eyes, I kept my focus on the game in front of me. It was a tight game. Real Betis were really putting up a fight, and I couldn't help but ogle at Hector Bellerin. He was genuinely so beautiful.
"Enjoying the game Y/N?" Salma asked, making the girls around us laugh. "Yeah funny Sal."
By the time the game had ended it was a 2-1 win for Betis, a real shock to almost everyone. The boys were fuming.
We walked down to the field, players from both of teams were still there. Making my way through with the girls, I heard my name called out. "Y/N! Wait up!" I turned around, running over with a cheesy smile was Hector. Hector Bellerin.
We followed each other on Instagram, and occasionally left friendly comments, but we had never spoken before. "How you doing?" I could hear his awkward English accent. "I'm doing pretty well. Congrats on the win you guys deserved it." He smiled.
"Ah, thank you. None of us were really expecting it." We spoke for another few minutes until he was called over by his coach.
"I'll see you around, I hope that next time you watch me play, you're in a Betis jersey." Smirking, he ran back to his team while I followed the girls into the tunnel.
When I caught up with Salma she couldn't look at me. "Already cheating on class boy with a footballer." She sarcastically sighed. "I always knew you were destined to be a wag." I lightly shoved her until I felt a push on my back.
"Get the fuck out of the way." Pedri spat at me. "Talking to the fucking opposition. If you want to fuck him so badly do it after the game." He pushed the changeroom door open, following closely behind him was Gavi and Ferran who looked at me sympathetically.
"Come on don't listen to him. Let's get home." Salma's hand found my shoulder pulling me close into her. "I'm happy to sleep over at Mapi's if you want to bring a certain someone over." God I hope she never changes.
"Girl there's no way I'm inviting him over. Let him celebrate the win." I smiled at her and she looked confused. "I wasn't talking about Hector." She stuck her tongue at as we walked to the parking lot.
I couldn't stop thinking about what Pedri had said to me that night. It almost shocked me how I didn't slap him. And although I wanted to hate him for it, a part of me hoped he didn't mean it. A part of me wanted it to just be a spur-of-the-moment comment which he would regret.
"Y/N are you okay?" Alex lightly tapped me. "Huh? Oh yeah, I'm just um tired." I focused back at my teacher. School was kicking my ass, I received my assessment schedule and these last few weeks were my last moments of peace before I locked in.
Once class was over I hurried myself as usual to the door. I had to get to training asap and I couldn't afford to be late. Again.
"Need a ride?" Alex caught up to me. There was no way I would decline, I was gonna be late. "Yes please, I need to get to work." We hoped in his car and he drove me to the grounds.
"I really enjoyed hanging out with you the other day. If it's alright with you, I'd like to come to one of your games?" I laughed but quickly refrained myself. "Oh um yeah. I can try and hook you up with some tickets if you wanna bring people."
We drove through the back streets of Barcelona until we got to where I needed to be. "Do you need me to pick you up? I'm happy to hang around for a while." He pulled up kerbside. "Yeah you'd be waiting for a very long time. It's all good, Salma drives me home." He'd met Salma a few times after we'd hookup as he tried to escape my room.
"But seriously, thank you so much. You don't understand how much easier you just made my life." I leaned over and pecked him on the cheek before I left the car.
"The fuck is that?" I recognised the voice immediately, B-lining for the buildings' entrance. "Oh ok yeah very mature, just ignore me." I waved to reception as I walked down to the changerooms.
"Was that your boyfriend? Or just another guy you hook up with." I snapped at him "He's a classmate." I continued walking down the hall. "So, tell me, did you sleep with Hector." That was it.
I turned to face him and slapped him across the face. Hard. A red mark coloured his cheeks. Realising what I had down, I regretted it immediately. "Oh my god Pedri I'm so sorry." I placed my hand on his cheek. "Holy fuck I don't know what came over me." Firstly, he looked at me disappointed, then he smirked. "So I'll take it that you didn't sleep with him." I walked right past him.
"Is something up with you Y/N?" Lucy said in my ear while marking me during training. I looked at her puzzled. "You're a lot more, I don't know. You're very tense." I scoffed. No wonder I was tense, I was literally studying for my degree while playing professional football.
"Well a few of us are going to go out tonight if you wanted to join? Girls only type of thing." Actually, I liked that idea. I needed time to just chill. Preferably away from home.
"Yeah actually I'd like that. You'll send me the address?" She agreed and soon enough we were back to tackling each other.
Once training had finished, Ona and I walked to the gym. She was still recovering from an ankle injury and wanted someone to give her motivation during the workout. As we entered the gym, sets of eyes laid straight onto us.
The men's team.
I looked at her, displeased to be trapped in a room filled with sweaty men, however, she didn't seem to care too much. "I think I'm gonna get deodorant poisoning if I'm in here any longer." She dragged me over to a machine.
I took a walk around the gym, trying to find the spot with the best reception. "Fancy seeing you around." Pedri called out to me.
I didn't look at him. No bother in giving him the time of day. "Okay then." He turned back to his group, they were making fun of his failed attempt at grabbing my attention.
"Y/N can you come over here for a sec?" Gavi called out to me. I was less than willing to walk over to a slightly intimidating group of boys, but I didn't want to give Pablo the same response that I gave Pedri.
Walking over, I could feel the eyes of the boys on me. "How you been baby?" I smiled at him. He's always been affectionate towards me, but this was artificial in a way. He was trying to make someone jealous. "You going out tonight?" I nodded. "Clubbing downtown." He looked impressed. "Going with Salma? I can try and ask around for that girl to be there."
"I'm so happy that you're finally going out with me. It's been what, four months?" Salma put on one of her sexiest outfits. I told her that the girl from before would be there, to that she immediately went looking for the hottest thing she owned.
"Yeah well you're obviously not planning on hanging out with me." Since she had gone out the other night, she couldn't stop talking about this girl she met.
We got picked up in a cab and made our way downtown. Upon entering the club we realised it wasn't exactly how we had pictured it. It wasn't so much a 'casual' club as it was a 'celebrity' club.
I recognised majority of the people as other footballers and internally rolled my eyes at the idea of spending time with some stuck up male footballer. Like Pedri for example.
When we found Lucy and a few of the other girls, we took a seat at the bar and ordered a round of shots. It had been a while since I had drunk alcohol, but I promised myself that I wouldn't drink too much. And I was usually good at keeping to my word, so I limited myself to three drinks.
"Y/N, Salma's been telling me about this guy you've been seeing." Ona said, taking a shot in full. "I hope he's hot at least." I looked at Salma unimpressed, she loved telling people about my life, to the point where even the physios knew who Alex was. "He's just a classmate, I mean like we've hooked up a few times but I'm not really into him."
The girls and I chatted for at least twenty minuets before suggesting we move to the dance floor. The DJ was playing mostly Bad Bunny with a few western songs, and soon enough the alcohol hit me, and I was in my groove. I was dancing with so many different people, and I could've sworn I had accidentally grinded up on Jude Bellingham before Ingrid came over to me, telling that someone was looking for me.
I followed in the direction of where she had pointed and found myself on the outside of the floor, but next to a tall man. "Hola Y/N." Hector bent down to give me a kiss on the cheek. "Hola."
"I really think we should hang out some day." I blushed at his words. "I'd like that. Maybe you could come to one of my games? Hang up your pride and wear the jersey of your old club." I nudged him playfully as he sarcastically shook his head. "Let's dance." He pulled me by the hand into the centre of the floor.
He held my hips as we swayed together, feeling the music and each other. "I though you'd be a better dancer Y/N." I looked up at him confused. "I'm only joking Carino. You look beautiful." I dug my head into his chest as we danced.
Now did I want to hook up with him? No, not really. But you can't hate a girl for giving into some attention. "Hector." He looked at me, almost freezing. "Does Pedri hate me?" He laughed. A guttural laugh.
"I'm not sure. Why?" I sighed. "He's just been a real dickhead lately. Always up in my personal businesses and constantly trying to piss me off." Hector smiled at me. "Yeah I don't think he hates you." He continued, "If it makes you feel any better, I think he actually likes you. I mean at least when I was at Barca he wouldn't shut up about this new prodigy." Ok now I was intrigued. "Go on."
"Well I mean he would always hang around at training to watch you play. To me at least I found it a little creepy, but I think it all stemmed from a crush." Yeah what the fuck.
"There's no way. Like he actually despises me." Hector shrugged as we came to a full stop of dancing. "Well maybe something's changed, but trust me, he likes you. Or used to I don't know."
I literally did not know what to think. So Pedri has been a fan all along??? Interesting…
After leaving Hector for the bathroom I felt a presence behind me as I walked down the corridor. Turning around nonchalantly, I came face to face with Pedri. Of fucking course he’d be here.
"Having fun?" He was holding a glass of what looked like water. Of course he didn't drink. "Yeah it's chill." I went to turn around when he grabbed my shoulder. "Sorry if I've been a dick, I've just, I don't know. Sorry." He was smiling at me. Smiling.
"Oh, um yeah okay you're all good." Before I could make my way back to the bathroom, his hands clasped my face, pulling me in for a kiss.
My brain wanted to push him away, but my body wanted more of him. I kissed him back passionately before he pulled away, hands still on my cheek. "Holy shit, I'm so sorry." He looked at me for no more than a second before walking back out.
He just kissed me. I kissed him. Pedri. Fucking Pedri.
"Y/N you're on, get up." Jonatan called for me, I was cozy on the bench watching my team struggle against Wolfsburg in a tight Champions League group stage match.
I hopped out of my seat and walked over to him. "I need you to turn this around. It's looking sloppy out there." He pointed to the field, everyone was tired, and Wolfsburg would break the deadlock soon enough if no stepped up. "I need a goal. I need you to be the captain out there, ok?" I nodded.
It was going to be tough. A thousand things were running through my head. Pedri was one of them, and I knew he was in the crowd. Alex too. God why do I do this to myself.
As I walked over to the fourth official, I could hear the crowd begin to get louder. I knew I was popular amongst the Barca fans, but hearing how excited they were to see me come on, gave me a new type of confidence.
I ran onto the pitch after I was subbed on, and genuinely put my heart into it. I had a few shots, although none were good enough to get past the keeper.
I built up with Keira, and finally had a chance to bury the game. I struck the ball with my laces from a few meters outside the box. I watched it curl into the top right of the goal and the crowd erupted.
I ran to the corner post where I did a knee slide, and was followed closely behind my teammates. Everyone was cheering.
The whistle blew after an agonizingly long fifteen minutes and the stadium erupted once more. We had slid past into a comfortable 1-0 win and I was absolutely buzzing. Jonatan pulled me in for a hug, and soon enough I was being thrown in the air by my teammates.
We did a lap of the field, taking photos and thanking the fans for supporting us. I had given my jersey to a young fan, in exchange for a bag of Haribos which were delicious.
When we had reached the bench and tunnel, I made direct eye contact with Pedri. It wasn't short either. He was still in the stands, in a full Barca tracksuit, looking down at me. And then he smiled.
I smiled back at him before I almost got practically tackled. Alex lifted me off the ground, and spun my around. "You did so well." He placed me back on the ground and leaned in for a kiss, I pulled back. "Oh, thanks Alex." I looked back into the crowd to where Pedri was standing, but I couldn't see him anymore.
"Please let me take you out tonight. I have us booked in for a beautiful Italian restaurant." I physically cringed. I don't know why I have such conflicting feeling towards Alex.
"Sorry Alex, but I've got recovery and stuff. I'd love to go another day." Lieeeeee. He looked down to the ground. "Yeah uh you're all good. Well done today." He smiled cowardly and grazed my arm before walking away.
"Rejected lover boy once again?" Salma came up to me, linking her arm through mine. I hadn't yet told her about Pedri. At first I didn't even see why I should, but I really needed to tell somebody.
"I feel like I'm leading him on, but I seriously do not wanna be his girlfriend or whatever he thinks we are." We walked into the tunnel and I was pulled into an interview.
"Y/N, that was a spectacular performance. However, many fans are confused as to why you weren't in the starting line up. Can you give us some insight into that?"
"Yeah well I wasn't training to me best standards in all honesty." The journalist nodded, signalling for me to continue. "Here at Barca everyone's replaceable. If you're not performing, someone else takes your place. It's the nature of this club. It's one of the reasons why I love it so much."
"How'd it feel to get a goal? It was a real tight game there, and you seemed to loosen it all up.
"I never take scoring for granted. It's a feeling I chase. As much as I love dribbling or assisting, or even tackling, nothing brings me as much joy as scoring does."
The interview continued for another couple of minutes before I made my way to a presumably empty changeroom.
Walking in, it was exactly what I guessed. I had a shower and changed into comfy clothes. Salma was driving us home, so she was probably waiting for me somewhere. I opened the door to leave the changeroom when I was met with a group. The group being Gavi, Pedri, and Salma.
Immediately, I made eye contact with Pedri who looked away. "Come on sissy, let's get home." We began walking in twos, Salma and I, Pedri and Gavi.
"You two were on fire today. There's surely a Ballon D'or coming your way Y/N." Gavi patted my back from behind, to which I turned around and smiled. "Thanks Pablo." Salma directed most of the conversation, Pedri barely spoke. Something was up with him.
"Pepi and I were so pissed when we couldn't see you on the starting lineup." Gavi said, making Pedri blush. "He started freaking out, thought you were injured and everything." I smiled to myself. It was cute I couldn't even lie.
"That's not true." His cheeks turned a darker shade of pink. He was embarrassed and it was adorable.
"Salma I need to tell you something." She jumped over the couch and sat next to me. "Spill." She then handed me a bowl of chocolate covered strawberries.
"Ok. So I may have kissed Pedri. No he kissed me. But I kissed him back." Her jaw dropped, and jumped straight up, dancing around me. "I called it! I fucking knew it!" I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah well you can calm it down because I think he hates me again." She sat down immediately. "Well you know how Alex came down?" She nodded. "Well I guess Pedri must've seen because he's been giving me the cold shoulder. He didn't even speak to me while we were all walking."
"So do you want me to set you two up?" I smacked her. "Don't you fucking dare."
omg guys sorry this took so long. lmk if you wanna be tagged in the next part and send me reqs!!
PART THREE HEREEEE
#football#football fanfic#football imagine#enemies to lovers#pedri#pedri x you#pedri x reader#pedri fic#barca femeni#fc barcelona#barca#hector bellerin#football fic#footballer reader#pablo gavi#gavi#salma paralluelo
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one way; cbg
part i | part ii | part iii
🖊️⇝ pairing; afab!reader x beomgyu
🖊️⇝ word count; 17.3k
🖊️⇝ genre; enemies 2 lovers, smut, & angst
🖊️⇝synopsis; things have gotten much more complicated in a relationship that spawned from simplicity
🖊️⇝ warnings; thoughts of suicide and murder, brief descriptions of gore, PIV, balls in mouth, lots of kissing, not super smut heavy, manipulation, betrayal, descriptions of depression, assault (the usual), passionate sex, the l bomb
📜⇝ aw man, this is very BITTERsweet. Idk how I feel about this. Ask me in a week and I'll either love or hate it. I didn't go into part one expecting to flesh out their relationship, so please forgive me if this long awaited finale doesn't reach your expectations. I am happy to finally say it's finished though!!
You didn’t remind Beomgyu of anyone. Maybe before you started having sex, that’s why he was so sure. He felt like he was experiencing deja vu from how similar you were to those groupies. Just awkward, quirky, and harmless. You’re only here to do your job and just happened to become friends with this celebrity. The romantic feelings that developed, oh those are to be expected. Of course you fell in love! But if another handsome, famous fella came around and was willing… that love is suddenly conditional.
But then you were letting Beomgyu bite your lip and rip your clothes off, you were shoving your tongue down his throat and letting him fuck you in every conceivable position. While still remaining kind and loyal to Soobin.
You were even open about the things Beomgyu did to you. You didn’t care how it made you look or if it would scare the others off. You didn’t present it as this passionate sexy moment, but the clumsy and somewhat comical situation it was. You were comfortable with them. Letting them see the real you even if it wasn’t exactly attractive. Maybe Beomgyu was wrong about you.
Then he’d catch these glimpses. Moments where he really saw Hyesoo in you. Everyone would be laughing and then suddenly you’d bring up a recent accomplishment of Soobin’s. It seemed weird to shift mid-conversation to boost him up. But when Beomgyu looked around, no one else saw anything wrong with it. He was hyper analyzing you and he was trying to stop. It was hard not to think about Hyesoo period, but with a new woman cozied up in their dorm it was even harder.
When you’d hit Soobin’s arm while laughing, buy only him snacks and drinks, laugh at his jokes harder than anyone else, fall asleep with your head on his shoulder. No matter how much he tried to stop himself, he couldn’t stop thinking you were buttering him up. Locking him in.
Here he was, staying up until 5 am dwelling on every thought that enters his brain. He lays stagnant in your bed, staring at the ceiling but really at nothing at all. His head flops to the side and he catches a glimpse of your peaceful expression. His eyes track down to your arms curled around his bicep. He looks back up at the ceiling with a lengthy sigh.
He needs to leave.
It started with him staying a little longer to eat up the food in your fridge. You staying to chat with some of the guys. Him staying to help clean up the vase that fell and shattered during your ministrations. You staying to clean yourself off and mentioning that maybe he should bring by a few spare items of clothing in case he wants to shower at your place. Now both of you have clothes at the other’s house and he’s spending the night.
He could dwell on everything he should or shouldn’t be doing right now or he could stop fighting how the warmth of your presence is lulling him to sleep.
-🖊️⇝
Beomgyu wakes up in the absence of your warmth. If his memory serves him correctly, you’re off to practice by now. He can’t help feeling pathetic as everyone rushes off to their duties while he lounges around. He only has one month left of his suspension before he’s back on the grind. He wants to just enjoy it, but the loneliness of it all after years of constantly being surrounded by hoards of people was undeniably crushing. The people he does see are usually rushing around before leaving him in an empty house.
He slumps out of your room and is hit with the scent of freshly made toast. He spots you in the kitchen, rushing around with a piece of toast dangling from your teeth. Upon seeing Beomgyu your eyes widen, brows raising as you prompt him.
“D’you like butter on your toast? Actually, don’t say anything, I’m doing it.” Your speech is muffled until you take a bite and set the piece down. When Beomgyu finally reaches the kitchen he sees you sloppily slathering butter onto two extra pieces of toast. You place them on a small plate before pushing it toward him. You quickly steal another bite of your toast before scowling at him. “You better not leave a mess for me to clean up.”
Once you finish chewing you’re still maintaining eye contact with Beomgyu. He stares intently, and you wonder if he’s still groggy from just waking up. Then his eyes break away to the state of your hair. He gives another second of thought before sweeping the unruly strands into place.
“You’re going outside, where people will see you.” He tsks.
“Said people should mind their business.” You punctuate by tearing off a chunk of your toast, maintaining eye contact pointedly. You throw the matching jacket to your sweatpants over your shoulder. “Lock my door before you leave!”
As the door shuts, the sound echoing through the now empty apartment, Beomgyu feels hyper aware of how much empty space surrounds him where he stands. The loneliness looms over him, a reminder no matter where he goes. He may joke around, but Beomgyu tries not to whine about his problems. It feels especially inappropriate since you were in this same situation, bound to this apartment with a suddenly empty schedule. But for you, you weren’t sure if you were getting fired or worse, getting stuck in the dungeon for years with no end in sight.
He thinks about that the entire time he stays within your walls. Where you stood, sat, and lied in limbo. From the couch, he glances over at the spot he found you lying in the day after you wrecked your house. A dark, malicious feeling crawls up his spine and he squirms. Staying in your house was already confusing for him, but with this feeling of what… guilt? He had nothing to feel guilty over. He was protecting his members.
Either way, it was overwhelming. He leaves your home, locking it on the way out. His dorm had his things. He can play video games all day until his eyes dry out. It was undeniably unfulfilling, despite it being what he craved since his trainee years. It felt as empty as his home.
He intentionally has his headphones only over one ear so he can hear when the door clicks open. It’s too quiet to be more than one member. Whatever, he’ll take what he can get. He leaves the game lobby, throwing his headphones off and rushing out of his room. When his eyes are met with blonde hair he stops in his tracks. Soobin silently regards him, not sparing him an ounce of emotion as he makes his way to the fridge. He grabs a soda, pops it open, and throws it back. Beomgyu waits patiently, he needs the interaction and Soobin has to give up this silent treatment at some point.
Soobin empties the can and tosses it, a silent conflict bleeding through his indifference to Beomgyu’s presence. Both men stand in silence, Beomgyu surveying each twitch in Soobin’s expression.
Soobin grits his teeth, hoping if he squeezes hard enough this aggravating feeling flaring up will pass. “You know what really pisses me off?” He snaps once he fails.
The relief he expected doesn’t come. There’s a pang of anxiety creeping up his spine in its place. “That I’m mean to your friend-”
“That I have a feeling this is all about that situation you refuse to talk about.” Soobin immediately shoots down his quip, sparing none of his valuable time for Beomgyu’s antics. Soobin finds that new trials and tribulations rear their ugly head just when he thought he’d gotten used to them. Recently Beomgyu has been one huge trial. He hasn’t been a good leader when dealing with this but Beomgyu is also his friend and roommate. Is he not allowed to just be upset by the actions of someone so close to him? Physically and emotionally?
When he looks over at Beomgyu it’s clear from the look on his face that he’s still not going to engage. Of course it wouldn’t be that easy. Letting out a lengthy sigh, he decides it’s time to abandon his personal grievances for now.
“You slept over at her house?”
Finally, it felt like someone was clamping their hands around his throat. “What, are you jealous or something?” He melts back into his usual self.
“I’m your leader.” Why does he even remind him anymore? It’s becoming increasingly apparent that the title means nothing to him.
“Yeah, you love reminding me of that fact when it’s convenient but it doesn’t apply here.” Getting his fill of interaction, he leaves the kitchen in favor of the living room. “It’s none of your business.”
“It became my business when you got in trouble. You’re on suspension, Beomgyu.” Yet again reminding him of something he clearly doesn’t care about. At least, he thinks he doesn’t until Beomgyu stops. His back is turned toward Soobin but he can still tell that it got to him.
Beomgyu no longer feels isolated but he does feel trapped again. Like the exits are too far away for him to escape and he’s forced to face this. “I don’t blame you for not speaking to the therapist they provide us with the risk of your confessions being reported, but if you tell me what’s going on we can figure this out. I’m also your friend, Beomgyu. You can talk to me.” He says softly, jumping at the chance of an opening.
This is the same guy he would laugh with until it physically hurt but he still couldn’t stop. The one who’d sneak him extra food as trainees. He’s a lovable dork who has proved on so very many occasions that he cares about each and every one of his members. Beomgyu can see it, he can feel it whipping around in the air. Soobin is right and he’s being stubborn again. It’s like the walls are closing in and pushing him closer to Soobin’s hurt but hopeful eyes. Beomgyu shuts his own.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
Before Beomgyu can see the full transition of his expression he whips around, making his way to his room.
“Really? You’re still gonna pretend nothing is wrong?!” Soobin’s increase in volume is ignored as Beomgyu slams the door behind him.
-🖊️⇝
Tomorrow is Beomgyu’s last day in suspension. Yeonjun proposed they throw a party, just another excuse for Yeonjun to party. He invites anyone whose schedule is free which turns out to be a surprising amount of people. Friendly Yeonjun knows pretty much everyone in this generation and some from previous ones. This once empty building waiting to be bought was filled wall to wall with idols, models, and actors.
Everyone notable in Beomgyu’s life saw the suspension as a no-touch subject that dampened the mood, except for you of course, the delightful person you are. Here? People are coming up to him with a tone that can only be described as vengeful.
“HYBE seems like such tight asses. You guys should ditch that place and come sign with KQ.” Hongjoong delivers a solid pat to Beomgyu’s back as he guides him to the stacked liquor table. “Let’s forget about all of that tonight.” Hongjoong messily pours two shots, either from having too many already or from sheer excitement to let loose. He hands Beomgyu one before raising his into the air. “To freedom!”
It’s almost surreal. The music feels like it swells as reality starts to dawn on him. His containment is soon to be over and he is completely surrounded by people. Things were finally gonna start looking up again.
“To freedom!”
They both knock back their shots and submerge themselves back into the crowd of people with refreshed energy. His first instinct was to find you for some celebratory cum dumping, maybe fuck you into the wall of one of these fancy port-o-potties.
“Hey.”
The voice leads Beomgyu’s eyes to a pair of sultry eyes and plump lips curved into a flirty smile. She was a perfect ten with a rack sitting pretty, the round, soft spheres of her cleavage taunting his already horny brain. Jisun was always a nice piece of eye candy. “Catch up to me,” She gestures to the shot in her hand, “and then let’s play.”
-🖊️⇝
Beomgyu is strange. He clearly still holds some resentment toward you, or at least skepticism, but he’s still around a lot. And you are too, which feels like poking the tiger. If he suddenly decides he still hates you he can rat you out with proof this time. You did blackmail the man. But this is just easier. Being strict and clear about your relationship was exhausting. Sometimes you don’t want to journey right back home after getting your back blown out.
All it would take was one joke from Beomgyu about you being clingy and you would’ve snapped back to the strict rules. Then he spent the night over your house and you felt a little at ease.
That meant you could finally have a sleepover at their dorm, staying up all night with Soobin watching scary movies and then being too scared to sleep. It also didn’t hurt having something warm to snuggle up to. The strangest part? Beomgyu seemed to be easing up. He stopped giving you that look as much, as if he’s trying to catch you scheming.
The party was much needed, and judging by the vibe of literally everyone else around you, all the partygoers would agree. There’s this overwhelming sense of relief and it’s intoxicating. Nobody can be as relieved as Beomgyu, wherever he is. You keep an eye out for him, in case he wants to monkey around in some pocket of the building.
“Hey!!” Soobin grabs your shoulder to stop you as he maneuvers around you. “There you are!”
“And here you are! I can’t believe you’re here and not at home watching anime!” You lean a little closer for him to hear over the music.
“I know! I decided I could try and blow off some steam since I pretty much have the day off tomorrow.”
“Pretty much?” You ask, curious if a monthly diet and exercise report was a company-wide event.
“We’re having a meeting before Beomgyu is reinstated. They said it’d be a small one but I’m still blowing off steam in advance.”
“Yikes. Let’s get some drinks in your system.” You guide him to the alcohol like a nurse escorting a frail patient.
All four of you were downing shots like your life depended on it on opposite sides of the bar. Beomgyu was caught up far before you and Soobin drank your stress away, so away he went. Jisun was whisked to whatever private area they stumbled across first. The spacious storage closet behind the first door he opened seemed like stumbling across the gates of heaven. With a swift turn, he flashes Jisun a smirk and pulls her in.
“Have you seen Beomgyu yet?” You probe, trying to look casual and not let your genuine inquiry slip through. You’re realizing the longer you’ve gone without seeing him today that you may crave more than just a quickie. A flash of his signature smirk passes through your mind and your stomach fills with a joyous warmth. You find yourself smiling. You quickly drop the smile, peering at Soobin as he stares at the ceiling.
“Not yet. I decided not to look for him and just let him relax. This party is for him after all.” He speaks quietly and you can tell there’s a lot more going unsaid. “For all we know he might not be here.” You laugh, having to force it as this feeling you can’t– or won’t– describe dawns on you. Soobin sighs, not able to shake the conflict in his head.
“I don’t know what’s going on with this man. I don’t know how to get him to talk about it-” He stops, raising his hands as if the gesture will help him conjure his thoughts. He shuts his mouth, dropping his hands in favor of grabbing a shot and downing it. “Has he said anything to you? About anything bothering him?”
“To me? Yeah, that’s not really how our relationship works.” You shake your head, tossing your own shot back to try and dull the emotions begging to be unpacked. Is something bothering him? When is something not bothering him? Now that you think about it, you haven’t seen goofy Beomgyu with your own eyes. You’ve just heard about his harmless mischief through the grapevine. “Loveable brat” is how you overheard Chaewon describe him. You didn’t really get either descriptor at first. More like “punchable asshole”. Without the constant screaming and threatening to ruin the other’s career, you suppose you’re getting close to seeing that side of him. The night before he slept over you shared a kiss that was simple. So simple it was loaded. There was no lust behind it, just a tender gesture with no follow up. Just you waking up holding him. And him holding you.
“Did something happen?” You ask before chewing on your nail.
“Around when we first debuted. I haven’t thought about it in years because he refuses to talk about it. I really don’t think this is just about him wanting to protect us.” Soobin shoves his shot glass away, seemingly giving up on that method since it doesn’t appear to be working.
“Boy, aren’t you glad you got stuck with these guys?” You laugh and he lets one out as well, though unintentionally. He shakes his head, straightening his face. “No, I am. I really am. I’m lucky.” He knows you’re joking, but it doesn’t settle well when he remembers how he’s been acting. Beomgyu’s supposed leader giving him the silent treatment like a child or a frustrated lover. He sighs, letting out another laugh. This time it’s dry, expressing contempt for himself.
“I’m not really in the mood for a party anymore.”
Beomgyu did not ruin your career but he did ruin the mood for both of you and he wasn’t even there. You echoed his sentiments and he convinces you to come over. It wasn’t very hard, seeing as you could both use the company. There are no other members home yet so you didn’t have to share the blanket. You had it wrapped around the both of you like a cocoon as you tortured him with a scary movie.
“We could’ve been watching The Bad Guys and-” Soobin wails loudly right beside your ear at the world’s most poorly set up jumpscare making you jerk away from him. He clings to you but you pry him off immediately.
“Are you not ashamed? A baby could sit through this.” You deride, shoving him away again when he tries to lean into you. “You’re so mean!” He erupts after trying to grab onto you a third time.
“No, you’re just a pussy.”
Soobin stands from the couch and snatches the remote from the other side of you. He pauses the movie, ignoring your protesting. “Since when were you so comfortable with disrespecting me?” He scolds playfully, setting his hands on his hips. “Last I remember, I was still your senior.”
“Would you rather I kiss your ass like before?” You cock your head to the side with a raise of your eyebrow, speaking about your former crush for the first time to him outside of the initial awkward phase after the rooftop mishap. He finally collects himself, fighting through his shock. He sits back beside you, keeping his eyes on you as he wraps the blanket back around you.
“I like this version of you much better.” He admits quietly, eyes genuine as they gaze into yours. You breathe a small laugh.
“Don’t tell me you’ve got a crush now, Choi.” You reply at the same volume. The atmosphere felt a lot more volatile suddenly, it was as if you both were close to triggering something.
“You’re getting ahead of yourself.” His eyes leave yours, giving you a little time to breathe. “I am turned on, though.”
Your pussy clenches hard, feeling a vortex of pleasure swirl in your stomach. You suck in a breath subconsciously as your eyes become glued to how his tongue skits over his bottom lip. He must be wetting them in an attempt to maintain their softness, unlike Beomgyu who bites at them until they’re utterly ruined. Kind of like he’s doing now back at the party. He just needs some way to cope with the pulsing need overwhelming him when he needs to empty his balls. With two handfuls of Jisun’s tits, he gets a similar feeling. His teeth dig and tug at his poor bottom lip. Better it be his lip than her soft skin. He needs to remember this isn’t you he’s playing with.
Fuck, if it were you he’d sink his nails in until you yelped. Feeling his cock jump at the sound and ache at the thought of you loving the pain as much as he loves inflicting it. That delicious look in your eye exposing how much you want to absolutely ruin him in a way no one has before.
But the look you give Soobin gives Soobin pause. He raises his eyebrows before leaning back, letting his head fall back onto the couch. “You don’t still have a crush on me, do you?”
His eyes are like hot fudge drizzling over a mound of ice cream, melting every inch it touches. Still, something nags at you. You need something inside you and you need it bad… but this should be affecting you much more. “I don’t think you have to worry about that.”
His eyes dip lower, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. Nag nag nag. It’s just dick, you tell yourself. You just need some hard sex and this feeling will go away. You grab Soobin by his shirt and pull him on top of you. He happily engulfs you with his large body, caging you in as he devours your lips. They’re still slick with his own spit. They squish and slide against yours and your body ignites. You wrap your legs around him and push his bulge into your core. He groans and you grin against his mouth. So vocal.
Beomgyu would say the same about Jisun, except it wouldn’t be praise. It’s just noise with no rhyme or reason. She’s not reacting to the curl of his fingers inside her, her moans don't correspond with the clench of her walls, there’s no sign she’s being caught off guard by anything he’s doing. Just. Noise.
Everything about her just dissolves into meaningless blobs of nothing. His fingers sloshing inside a wet cavern, his hands squeezing doughy flesh, and his lips brushing against mindless flaps that omit noise constantly. It quickly becomes mind-numbing and he can feel himself going limp. If you were here instead, you’d gasp when he pushed his fingertips into your bundle of nerves. Not meaning to dig your fingers into his shoulders but not being able to help how your body naturally reacts. You don’t want to whimper when he sucks on that sweet spot on your neck but you just can’t help it.
He can feel himself get hard again, his fingers curling and pushing into Jisun’s heat fluidly with you vivid behind his clenched lids. Where are you? He’s suddenly pulled out of the heated moment he’s sharing as the question pops into his mind. If he searched for you, could he be inside you right now instead? Jisun’s noises pull him from his thoughts. How pathetic would it be for him to scramble out of the closet, pussy juice still on his middle and ring finger as he looks for you with his eyes wide like a puppy? First he cuddles you and spends the night at your house and then you see him like that? His eyes snap open.
He grunts, pumping his fingers with more vigor. He has a warm hole for tonight. There’s always tomorrow. That frustrating feeling of the intoxicating warmth leaving his groin as you dissipate from his mind is back and he chases it again. The image of Jisun’s exaggerated expressions flicker away behind his fluttering lids before his mind projects your face twitching to keep your bliss hidden. Pleasure so strong that even the raging flames of hatred can’t burn it away.
A penis entering a vagina was something you were taught was reserved for the pinnacle of love. When you were old enough you were promised tender touches and emotions so deep and complex they would bring you to tears. You and Beomgyu were swept up into the limelight long before you could get a chance to naturally build up such a relationship and experience such a transcendental feeling. Instead, the two of you bastardized the act with one night stands and relationships built on flimsy foundations only to come crashing down from neglect or simply not knowing who was under your sacred roof. How could you not? There’s no time, too much stress, and too much at stake.
So you fuck and fuck until the act becomes something so unrecognizable that you come out the other end. Letting someone tear at your flesh and tamper with your spirit as they touch you the way someone you love should. Yet here you are with someone who would treat you right, someone who you longed for for so long, someone who holds you like you’re porcelain with passion still flowing through every action. You should be falling head over heels again. Your crush should be flooding back with crashing waves wrecking everything in its wake until nothing is left but your undying need for Soobin. But no. He mouths your neck as he thrusts shallowing, checking in to make sure he’s not hurting you.
Everyone who taught you about how sex would feel were right about one thing. You were brought to tears.
“Beomgyu.” You blubber shamefully, gritting your teeth before hiccupping. You fail to suppress it. Everything becomes a blur as tears stream down your face. The self-pity numbs you beyond repair.
Your name leaving Beomgyu’s lips doesn’t feel real. He only realizes what he’s done after Jisun’s warmth is gone. He opens his eyes and she has moved as far away from him as she possibly can in the confined space. Her angry words don’t register as she fixes herself and storms out, brushing his shoulder on her way. Once he was old enough, Beomgyu was taught a little differently. His father would wait until his mother left the room to get filthy about it, wiggling his eyebrows. His friends would boast and fantasize lewdly in the back of the classroom about it. The pinnacle of sex was supposed to be casual with beautiful women. The only hate sex guys his age fantasized about were low-stakes scenarios you only see in porn. What the two of you had? No one with any ounce of self-preservation would touch this with a ten foot pole. They’d call you “psycho”, block your number, and avoid you like the plague.
Not daydream about you while experiencing a man’s definition of the pinnacle of sex.
-🖊️⇝
Soobin is a saint. He waited patiently for you to calm down, holding you and rubbing your back. He didn’t complain about his lack of finishing once and didn’t make you feel awkward. He just giggled at your swollen face after you finished. You sat quietly on the couch, staring at whatever movie had auto-played.
“You guys are very similar, you know?”
The urge to start crying again chokes you and you swallow it down. “Soobin, that's a horrible thing to say.” You sigh.
He laughs loudly, trying to stifle his overflowing amusement after seeing your eyes get glassy again. “That’s why you hate each other so much I think.” He says once the humor subsides.
“I hate him because he was horrible to me.” You correct, unable to suppress the annoyance flaring up at his ignorant assumption.
“He was horrible to you, right?” He looks over at you, looking back at the tv once he sees your stone-like expression. “But you still resent each other despite you guys not being at each other’s throats for about a month now.”
“Because I’m wary. He’s wary. We both are constantly remembering something horrible we did to one another.” You suck in a breath, ready to vent about all the ways he’s scarred your skin with proof, but which ones were the ones you encouraged? It didn’t feel appropriate to lie or guess no matter how much you wanted to. Fuck, you wanted to scream about Beomgyu and how much you should hate him. You whimper, resting your face in your hands. “What’s wrong with me?”
Soobin doesn’t answer, leaving you with your own thoughts. You find yourself appreciating the silence.
“Do you love him?”
Numb and hollow… yet throbbing and infected. The space between the skin of your forehead and the bone of your skull felt like it was swimming with complicated activity as your brain echoed the devastating question. Not because the answer was yes but because it had to be answered at all. You raise your head slowly from shaking hands before standing from the couch.
“I’m going to sleep.”
-🖊️⇝
Waking up that morning for both of you was somehow more loaded than waking up in each other’s arms. You couldn’t be with each other or away. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t simple anymore and the complication of it all was starting to get exhausting. You slip from beneath Soobin’s arm, careful not to wake him. Beomgyu trudges out of his bed, feet plodding heavily toward his door. Both doors close simultaneously with a dull, echoing thud, neither noticing the other as you both stand in silence. It’s only when you start to move that Beomgyu notices you. His chest rises slightly with a small gasp. There you are.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming.”
For a second your eyes meet his and there’s a flicker of something that excites him. You straighten up. “I was with Soobin.”
“But you could’ve been with me.” Beomgyu can feel himself get worked up at just the thought of something that actually gets him going.
“Believe it or not,” You draw nearer and Beomgyu’s eyes are locked onto your lips as they part. You lean in and the warmth of your proximity ceases his breathing “he kept me company.”
It felt like slow motion when you pulled away and winked at Beomgyu. A gesture that should’ve been harmless and maybe even cute made Beomgyu feel like hot curdled liquid was crawling down his throat.
Once you pull back Beomgyu’s expression hardens. His eyes prick you like needles. “What?”
His tone and glare make you flinch. Your smirk flickers away. This is usually how it starts, but a part of you just wanted to cut out all the bullshit and get to the part where he makes you scream his name. But the look in his eye… something’s different. Something’s wrong.
“I-I had a little fun with Soobin. It didn’t really go far though because I…” You choke on your words, feeling your heart throb when he tore his eyes away. He couldn’t read your mind but you couldn’t stop yourself from believing he somehow sniffed out the pitiful truth.
Beomgyu laughs dryly and each moment without proper words made you feel like screaming. Beomgyu flexes his hands, avoiding your eyes while he cracks his knuckles. He balls them into tight fists before staring at you with a level of fury that makes your blood run cold. “I fucking knew it.”
The words struggle to leave his lips as if they had to pass through a filter of his growing disdain for you. Quiet, yet still piercing enough to get you stammering. “Y-you can’t be serious. You’re not seriously talking about what I think you are right now are you?!”
And just like that the two of you are back to square one. Everything that happened in the last two months, hell, the last 48 hours feel like they mean nothing. Why would they? It’s Beomgyu’s fault for letting things get the way they are. Beomgyu feels this nauseating sensation curdle in his stomach and it’s strong. So strong it forces a lie out of him.
“I’m just trying to protect my members. God– is that a crime or something? Why am I the bad guy? You’re not gonna get away with using us like toys. Maybe you’ll have better luck whoring around Enhypen.” He spits out the words, hating the way they taste. This is your guys’ dynamic, right? Now you’ll start throwing things and screaming at him.
But nothing comes and Beomgyu realizes he hasn’t been looking at you. At what point he looked away again, he wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t get himself to make eye contact again. The lack of response clouds his lungs, a stabbing pain screaming in his temples.
After the silence suffocates him to near death he finally manages to look at you. He has to muster all his strength, but he does. And you’re crying. His body feels hollow. No arousal or sadistic pleasure is derived from this. He can’t even feign it.
Still, the silence won’t let up and as if to punish him, his body won’t let him look away. As if two hands are holding his head in place and as a sinister voice hisses in his ears.
LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE.
How much time passes, he’s not sure. Enough time for him to realize how much chaos and stress he’s caused to his leader, his members, his company, and to an innocent person with an innocent crush.
More tears well and skit from your cheekbones straight to the carpet beneath both your feet. Darkening the fabric. The words you’ve been choking on finally release, though they sound frail and strangled. “Beomgyu. I don’t know how else to get through to you. I care about Soobin. Fuck…” You don’t attempt to wipe the tears away or cease them in any way. Your head falls as if your neck can no longer support it. “I was starting to care about you.”
Hostile would be putting it lightly. The activity in your brain and heart is like a dozen hornet’s nests being shaken and preparing to erupt, one for each emotion reaching its peak. You grit your teeth so hard you think they’ll crumble under the pressure.
“You wanna know something? The only person hurting someone by turning on them is you.” You hate the implications this leaves but your thoughts and emotions are on overdrive and you need to leave before it gets any uglier. “I’ll respect your wishes. Friends aren’t worth dealing with this, I’d rather be alone. Just promise me you won’t involve my career in your bullshit this time.”
As you storm away, barely able to look that man in the eye you realize this. This is what you were wary of the entire time. It wasn’t him ruining your career or biting you until he draws blood or turning your friends against you. It was this feeling you were experiencing. Pain so deep you’d almost call it heartbreak. However, it wasn’t earned from time spent with someone who cherished you and made you feel like you were worth something. All this heartache…
You let him do unspeakable things to you. You let him hurt you in ways you would’ve never let anyone else. You welcomed it.
In an alternate reality, you’d be kicked out of your company, stuck with a damning reputation, and banned from the only true friends you had. The man who would’ve caused all that turmoil in your life, with the intent to cause that harm, is the same one who your heart is aching for.
-🖊️⇝
The curtains across the room have become blurry blobs of color after being stuck staring in that direction for what felt like too long. You had to start, if you’re late sending this video in then there will be another crack. You manage to squeeze your eyes shut and jump start your brain once again from its brief hiatus.
The inhale you suck in shudders beyond your control. The more time that passes with that song out in the open for anyone to hear, the less you can hide your anxiety. You hold your breath until it hurts before blowing out a rushed gust of wind. You’re stagnant again, and before your brain can shut down for one more sweet break you force a smile and hit record.
“Hello precious moonbeams!~ I hope you’re all doing well. Thank you for all the support on Strawberry Jam. I was so worried!” You pout. “It’s a bit of a weird song, right? It’s very different from Laude so I was scared you guys wouldn’t like it. But… wow. The support is…” Sincerity bleeds through as you reflect on traversing your favorite store and then hearing your voice through the speakers.
“Pierce me, Bruise me, keep going until you see strawberry jam”
Your blood runs cold, and your eyes snap up as if you’re being caught saying something you didn’t mean to be publicized. A couple of passersby whisper or stare or gasp. You run out of the store.
Before you can get too sincere you force the smile back in place. “It’s overwhelming. Seriously.” Your eyes get glassy and you chew on your lip. “Thank you.”
All the cracks that have reared their ugly head so far have been mostly forgotten because of the overnight success of your first comeback. Your debut was deemed a flop in comparison to your colleagues, so this was absolutely necessary. It was mandatory. You finally feel like you’re making progress digging out of this deep hole.
There are signs your company still doesn’t fully trust you.
The first big sign was the debut delays. You were sure they were going to cancel it and that they saw you as a risk. The cracks were treacherous. Then you debuted and the reception was lukewarm. You sat in limbo for days, reading negative comments until your head span. A piece chips off revealing an inky black abyss.
Then you heard your comeback song. Instead of classy and subdued like your debut, this song was hard to swallow. It was asymmetrical and loud. It was raunchy.
“What do you think?”
You sat in silence, jaw dropped open, a truck sized lump in your throat. You could hear the sound of cracking. But why? This song was a clear hit. You could hear another idol performing it well.
But it’s yours.
“Ready to record?”
You nod, hoping that will become true with time.
The track plays and your fears ease a bit. You bob your head to the beat. Everything goes fine until the same lyrics that struggle to come out of your mouth approach. You power through. You need this.
“I should hate it but I don’t”
This will be a hit, you can get through this.
You continue powering through but the dread builds and builds. You hate this line, you hate it so much. Your breath gets caught in your throat right before it’s time and you know you’re about to choke.
“Can’t promise I won’t cry but I…” You sigh and drop your head. You already knew it was coming when they ask you to do it again.
“Can’t promise I won’t cry but I-I know that you like that…”
CRACK
The producer slides his headphones off with a chuckle. “I know. It’s weird, right?” He winces as if he’s mirroring your assumed feelings on the matter. He’s half right. It’s obscene and you hate it. You hate it so much.
“I’m sorry, let’s go again.”
The track replaying is like a death march. Your throat bobs, doing little to refresh your throat that feels like it’s filled with cactus needles and glass.
“Can’t promise I won’t cry but I know that you like that-”
The line processes in your mind and you connect it to the past despite avoiding doing so as if your life depends on it. You reflect on all the times he’s brought you to tears. How hot they felt rushing from your eyes after you frustratingly kissed him for the first time. How helpless and pathetic you felt crying as he restrained your wrists, only to spray you in his seed mockingly. And most frustratingly of all, you crying while revealing that you actually cared about him after he did exactly what you knew he would.
CRACK
The calls of your name are muffled as flashes of his face refuse to leave. You grit your teeth, feeling a frightening level of rage familiarly build up inside you. “I hate him.”
You rush out of the recording booth, mortified as tears stream down your face. He’s done it again. He isn’t even here and he’s done it again. If he could see you right now he’d probably smile. It would probably brighten his day. And you welcomed that monster into your bed.
You’re all the way back home once you realize what you’ve done. The producer is probably calling your manager who is calling the CEO about how much of a pain in the ass you are. You need to get yourself together quickly and get back there. You run to your bathroom and look in the mirror. You plant your shaky hands on the sink
“I’m…”
Your voice wavers. Your resolve dissipates as you stare at the cracks that have transferred to your very visage. A shard dangles where your eye resides before falling away. Again, the black nothingness is left behind and you’ve already forgotten what your face normally looks like.
Your phone starts to buzz and you slowly fade back to reality.
-🖊️⇝
“I have no clue who that is. Why can’t we collab with a Korean artist?” Beomgyu mutters. Soobin grits his teeth and elbows him. He rolls his eyes despite the instant regret. It takes only a minute of fading into the background as the other guys engage in productive conversation for the guilt to fully bloom. On one couch there were four employees and one temperamental child.
No matter where he goes he feels this way. The guys don’t bring girls to the dorm anymore. If they go out to see one, they nervously lie about it and rush out of the door.
Anytime they bring up a memory tainted with you, Beomgyu is greeted with shocked silence and finds four panicked eyes on him like they’re afraid they’ve poked a tiger.
All those posters, cardboard cutouts, and billboards that are fucking everywhere are like land mines. To anyone else it would be comical to watch four grown, big ass men tiptoeing around a mall like one wrong step will blow their leg clean off.
And the song.
Beomgyu… he is really trying to get better. If he didn’t attempt to, Soobin would probably choke him out. He’s been very patient, but anyone in his shoes would be exasperated. When they’re in public or in a meeting and Beomgyu is being a menace is one thing, Soobin lets him know then and there that he’s serious.
However, when they’re alone, it’s strangely peaceful. He asks Beomgyu about his day and his mental and emotional state. He hasn’t brought you up for a while now. Tomorrow will make 6 months.
Tomorrow comes, Beomgyu’s indifference is slipping. While everyone else walked on eggshells, Beomgyu coasted through the situation like nothing happened. But somehow, the fact that the boys are becoming more accustomed to not bringing you up is bothering him. He only sees you through screens or your likeness plastered on paper or cardboard.
The last time you physically entered his vision was during your goodbye stage of your debut promotions. It was a brief glimpse but it was enough to show you weren’t doing well. It was an image burned into his memory. None of the photo shoots could replace it. Even longer before that was the last time the two of you made physical contact. The feeling of holding you in your bed is long gone. Everything about you feels like a ghost now.
“Here he is!” Beomgyu looks up from his phone he wasn’t really looking at anyway to see Soobin walking over with some girl. Beomgyu slides down his mask to present the girl with a tight smile and bow.
“This is Jiwon from Cherry Bullet.”
“Hello.” Jiwon bows with a bright smile and somehow the common gesture illustrates just how efficient of a person she is. He has no clue what a cherry bullet is but something tells him she’s a stellar idol. But why was she talking to him? Beomgyu looks up at Soobin’s phony wide smile before getting distracted by the rest of his members frantically trying to stop what’s happening. Yeonjun tugs Soobin to the side, jaw jutting forward as he grits something out Beomgyu can’t quite decipher.
“I’ve heard people refer to you as a video game protagonist.” Beomgyu’s attention is ripped away from his members as Jiwon speaks again with a little more hesitance this time. What, does she think he’s a ticking time bomb too?
“What?”
“Your visuals.” She clarifies, seeming a little more relaxed now. “Now that I see you in real life I can say I see it too. I didn’t know before but I think that’s my style.” She looks down, still appearing resolute despite the shy action.
“I don’t usually do things like this, I value my job and image, but I was just so curious about you. I felt a bit weird asking Soobin to introduce me to you but…” As if she realizes she’s been having a one-sided conversation, she stops herself and looks at Beomgyu expectantly.
Every so often, Beomgyu catches wind of a rumor going around about himself. Whether it’s someone he’s cool with reporting back to him or rookies being way too loud and excitable. He supposes every idol experiences this, and most likely they’re as indifferent as he is. He’s a former thug, he’s gay, he’s fucking an executive, and the biggest one:
He’s a womanizer.
That one sometimes goes hand in hand with the thug one, but it’s mostly referring to his current idol lifestyle. He doesn’t know how it happened. He hasn’t been in a relationship since Hyesoo. He couldn’t be one if he tried. He lets his emotions get in the way. A part of him wishes it were true. Maybe he would stop craving nails raking into the flesh of his back or bite marks on his bottom lip and shoulders. Maybe he would stop waking up with soiled sheets because he has dreams about being ridden long after he’s already cum.
Of course now he’s thinking of you, despite chatting it up with Jiwoo– or no, Ji…
You’re probably getting relief every other day with how famous you are now. If you even have the time. In that case, you’re probably locking you and some guy in dressing rooms, closets, anywhere you can get privacy for a quickie.
But no… you’re not like that. You only let Beomgyu see the deepest, darkest parts of you because you were pushed to do so. Beomgyu’s face goes slack, staring deep into space. You hated him so much that you didn’t care about bearing the ugliest side of you to him. Gnashing your teeth with your shirt a tangled mess over your torso after you gave up on taking it off. Saying the most venomous things Beomgyu’s ever heard while milking him for all he’s got. Even after things cooled a bit, you would let him touch and taste you before you even showered. Opening the door to let him in with stains all over your shirt and leftover makeup from the day before.
“I thought about jumping off the roof at practice while I was on my break.” You had said to him after couch sex. You guys were watching Community and eating ice cream. You were just joking about one of the characters being dumb. Beomgyu had looked at you, completely bewildered.
“Isn’t this what you wanted? What you’ve been waiting for?” He asks incredulously.
You sigh dramatically.
“Yeah, but I’m so fucking hungry. My body aches and my hands shake so much I can barely hold a pen to write my own name. I made a mistake and my instructor cussed at me and called me useless.” You laughed sharply before letting your head droop over to face him. “D’you know they delayed my fucking debut again? Before I thought about offing myself I imagined slitting my manager’s throat and bludgeoning the dance instructor to death and stripping down so I could smear both their blood all over me until it covered every inch of my skin. It was so brief but so so vivid.” You rushed out the words in a crazed fashion and you looked at him with wide eyes. You smile. “Then I imagined you coming in, we had sex and then I strangled you until your eyes bulged out–” You catch your breath and look back at the tv. You looked down at your hand and groaned. Your ice cream had melted over your trembling hand.
“Fuck it–” You rush over to the trash can and chuck it before aggressively wiping off your hand with a tattered kitchen towel. You stomp over to the fridge and take out one of the multiple spoiled bags of salad mix and dump it in the trash to cover up the tossed ice cream. You throw a glance at him.
“Make sure you eat that all or cover your tracks if you throw it away.” You mutter, finding your voice wavering suddenly. You sniffle, slamming down on the couch. You refuse to look over at him as tears break free from your eyes. You feel him move closer to you on the couch and you grit your teeth. His hand curls around the column of your throat but he doesn’t apply pressure.
“I imagined killing my manager once too.”
You peer over at him, he’s looking down, his thick lashes on display. “Except I stabbed him over and over and over until he was an unrecognizable mound of mush. You’re right, it flashed by so fast. I was so sickened by it I pretended it never crossed my mind. Yet here we are…” He finally looks up with a smirk. He finally applies the pressure and you inhale a shuddering breath.
He moves his lips next to your ear, his breath fanning on it making you shiver. “Does it hurt?”
Immediately understanding what he meant you nod feverishly.
“I’ll distract you.” He answers quickly before swinging his leg over and resting his knee on your thigh. He sits all his weight on your thigh and he squeezes your throat. He repeats it again breathily as he stares down at you wistfully. Your strangled whimpers get him straining against his jeans.
“I-I…” You find yourself speaking against your will. No… this isn’t how this went. He squeezes again and you moan. You want to clench your thighs but his knee is pinning your leg down. You can’t think, it’s perfect. Still, you find your mouth moving. No! There were no more words exchanged after this. You fucked again and he slept over.
“I-I’m so lonely,” Your voice quivers before you begin sobbing uncontrollably. When you open your eyes and blink away your tears you see a twisted wide grin on his face. His eyes are wild. You tremble in fear, unable to speak anymore. No no no no no no no…
“I fucking knew it.”
You gasp for air, it feels like he’s crushing your windpipe.
“Just a sad, lonely, nobody coming to mooch off of us. Pitiful. You want friends? Huh?” You feel blood rushing up to your face. “Too bad. You don’t deserve love. No one fucking likes you and no one ever will. I’ll do you a favor.”
Almost as if he’s beating you to what you briefly daydreamt about, he applies his other hand and you want to scream. Your ears start ringing and you feel something warm trickle from your ears and all of a sudden there’s a bright light and a piercing noise–
You jolt up from your bed, continuing to sob like you did in your nightmare. You stumble out, nearly tripping as you reach to turn the light on. After doing so you slide down against the wall. Sobbing until your chest hurt and you had no air left in your lungs.
-🖊️⇝
There’s no doubt this song has gotten you some perverse comments and unwanted attention, but it must also get you positive attention too. He’s never seen you hang out with anyone else besides the guys but surely you have an entourage by now. Guys lining up to treat you right. Ones you wouldn’t feel are deplorable enough to casually bring up your murder fantasies to.
“Gyu?”
Jiwon has that confused tone in her voice. God, he tuned her out by accident again.
“Are you okay? It seems like you’ve been zoning out a lot.” She sounds cautious again. Beomgyu can tell that she’s trying to avoid what might set him off. Did Soobin tell her about you? How he’s just a screaming match waiting to happen?
“To be fair, I’ve had a lot to think about recently.” Beomgyu gives her a look, he knows she’s aware of what he’s referring to. Her awareness is becoming increasingly obvious.
She sits down beside him in the other folding chair backstage. Not dissimilar to when they first met. Even more similar, he notices his members frantically whispering to each other while looking at him.
“Are you still feeling bothered by that?” Jiwon places a hand on his but it doesn’t pull his attention away. Suddenly Kai is casting a fearful look to his right. Beomgyu, already feeling something stirring in his stomach follows his eyeline.
A pair of black docs accented with black opaque hosiery that almost stop where your red skirt starts. The skirt looks tattered, purposefully so. It’s asymmetrical and overlapped by a black, intricately designed corset top. Your hands that are running through your hair are donned in a red, loosely fitted pair of sheer gloves. Once your arms stop shielding your face and you lift your head, Beomgyu sees your mascara running. His stomach drops.
The stylist scolds you and quickly tries to fix the mess. You don’t react at all, face stone cold. Maybe you just had a bad day, Beomgyu thinks.
It’s cliche, but it never stops shocking you how blinding the stage lights are. They glint sharply, feeling like they’ve sliced your eyes. You shut them, only to quickly open them once you remember people can see you. You force a smile on your face, not caring if it looks like you have a gun to your head. This is all you have left.
The bright light nearly pricks tears back to your eyes but you hold them back just like you hold back the thoughts of the texts your parents sent you this morning. You don’t want to perform today, the last thing you want to do is sing this song that is now ruining relationships. However, now this is truly all you have left. So you flip the switch as soon as the music starts and don’t turn it off until it’s safe to cry again.
You almost melt away on your couch when a knock startles you. You race to the door, thinking it may be your manager. A part of you still expects her to scold you about something she found out. It’s been months but you still fear Beomgyu saying something. A shaking hand pulls open the door.
Myungsoo smirks lazily. Kim Myungsoo. You have to pinch yourself still, despite it being a month now since he first spoke to you. You’re used to people speaking to you first by now. You’d rather they stick around, hang out with you, but that never happens. When he came up and asked you about your song, you were positive you’d probably never see him again. A man you used to have posters of slipping right through your fingers. But then he suddenly stayed put.
“What’re you up to?” He asks before widening his smile. Your heart flutters.
“I was going to take a nap.” You say quietly, very much distracted. Him brushing some of your hair behind your ear doesn’t help.
He waits a beat as he presses his lips into a thin line. “Need help?”
Your heart drums against your rib cage, it almost hurts how much you need it. He’s been teasing you during this exciting yet excruciating month. Hinting that he wants to fuck you but never doing it. You nearly came when he put his hand on your thigh last week.
Now his hand is there again, and it takes every ounce of strength you have to not lift your hips and coax him to where it hurts. He insisted on leaving the television off so you can’t even pretend not to have your full attention on him.
“C’mere.” He whispers, his voice so warm it melts you. You scoot over and lean your head on his shoulder. You guys stay like that and you’re content– you really are… but it’s becoming increasingly more difficult not to shove his hand down your pants. You don’t know how long it’s been but your body is screaming at you. He should’ve been inside you already, you guys should have been done with your first round actually. Your impatience gets the best of you and you look up at him. He raises his eyebrows questioningly.
“Take a nap. Isn’t that what you said you were doing?”
You laugh dryly, too annoyed to take it back or be mortified at your outward display of your sexual frustration.
“Is something wrong?” He pouts his lips mockingly. You sit up from him but he pulls you back.
You let out a strained sigh. “I think I need to be alone to take a nap actually.”
“What, now you’re kicking me out? Did I do something wrong?” His cutesy act is nauseating right now. It pushes you to reveal how you actually feel.
“Aren’t you building us up to be just fuck buddies? Why are you beating around the bush?” You’re desperate, but it’s more than just being horny. At the moment you have no outlet for the overwhelming amounts of anxiety and growing depression. Despite what you had with Beomgyu being… what it was, you remember a wave of serenity after it was all said and done. You bickered as you got your clothes back on but then he left and your body was noticeably less tense.
“I never said anything about that. You know, you claim you had nothing to do with the song but I’m a little skeptical…” He traces shapes over your bare shoulder and you shrug it off with a scoff before sitting up. The annoyance was building towards being affronted, but you could feel something tingling like a spark crackling inside your stomach. It was back, a feeling you haven’t felt in quite a while.
“Excuse me?”
“I mean,” Myungsoo shifts toward you, “you’ve been practically begging to be fucked the minute we met. You’re not as subtle as you think.” His faux sympathy melts away once he sees fire glinting in your eyes. He can’t help but smile.
“Shut your fucking mouth.” You spit before mounting his lap and devouring his lips. This is it, there’s no mistaking it. But something’s missing…
Myungsoo sits there, barely moving his lips against yours. Your hands roam his entire body while his are still by his sides. You pull away, afraid that you were mistaken, but he’s smiling up at you. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before coaxing you to finish.
“You want it, don’t you?”
And so you strip your shirt off, the fabric pulled away to reveal your eyes blown wide with lust. You capture his lips again and it tastes so sweet. You nearly tremble after finally breaking through that barrier that never seems to leave. You feel powerful for the first time in months as you slide your hands under his shirt. You puff out a frustrated gust of air before sliding off his lap and kneeling before him. You look up at him as you unzip his jeans. He smirks the entire time, lifting his hips to let you slide his jeans and underwear down. He exaggerates the movement of stretching his arms back and resting his hands behind his head. You falter, suddenly self conscious.
“What’s your deal?”
He answers quickly, somehow knowing exactly what you were referring to. “I dunno… maybe I’m just not feeling it yet.” He sighs, reaching for his flaccid member and stroking it disappointedly. “Look at it, so pitiful.”
You swat his hand away, feeling challenged by his words. You start with his balls, licking in between them before circling your tongue around each one. You glance up at him and his cock twitches. His smirk flickers away briefly to revel pleasure while looking at the determination in your eyes.
You’re just so happy to finally taste someone. The way a cock feels in your hands and on your tongue, so silky and soft. So sinfully beautiful when covered in thick globs of saliva. There is truly nothing like it. But again, there was something missing.
Anywhere you and Myungsoo were together turned into a new spot for you to fuck. You’d give him the eyes which he’d ignore. Then you’d touch him. Kiss him. Whisper in his ear. None of it worked until you were pulling him somewhere secluded. Even when you were at his place or him at yours. It was like pulling teeth. But whatever, foreplay for you and Beomgyu was degrading and threatening each other. This was nothing.
It didn’t stop at foreplay, though. Throughout the entire act he’d be so smug, never reacting to anything. Only small glimpses of pleasure could be caught, but if you blinked you could miss it. You find yourself fighting for his passion. However, it remained one-sided.
-🖊️⇝
Jiwon’s ministrations were soft, almost like they weren’t there. She had a pretty pair of lips but they were like feathers against his.
“Noona…” He whispered, brushing his nose against hers.
“Hm?” She barely pecks his lips. Beomgyu inhales deeply before grabbing the back of Jiwon’s head and deepening the kiss. She makes a muffled noise of surprise but her eyes slowly flutter shut. She melts into the kiss for a few lovely seconds before forcing herself to pull away. She clears her throat before grabbing both of Beomgyu’s hands.
“Let’s take it slow, okay?” Jiwon gives him a pleading look and he only groans inwardly. It’s been a minute, and Jiwon is not a woman you come across too often. And they actually have a relationship he can brag about, someone he could see himself marrying. She’s pristine.
“Why, you didn’t like it?” He smirks and she scoffs.
“I did, but I just think it’s better for us if we don’t rush things.”
Beomgyu tries really hard to hide the cynicism threatening to rear its ugly head. Jiwon was finally not walking on eggshells around him. He thinks long and hard about what he’s going to say and panics when he thinks he’s said the wrong thing.
“Fine. But a deeper kiss won’t kill us.” Beomgyu brushes away his train of thought before smiling.
It wasn’t long before Beomgyu and Jiwon made it official, only telling people they trusted and not risking visiting each other anywhere but their dorms. Even that takes several days of planning.
“How does it work? We’ve never been.” Taehyun says, leaning forward in anticipation.
Jiwon takes a moment to swallow her sip of tea and to think.
“This will be my second survival style show. I think that they’re not dissimilar to being a trainee, honestly. The ferocity of everyone around you is still there. This new one is a little less intense, though. I guess the stakes aren’t as high.” Once she finishes talking she takes another delicate sip of her tea. Beomgyu watches intently, admiring how elegant she is. It’s so effortless for her. She continues her mature conversation with his members but Beomgyu is completely checked out. There’s a lingering sour feeling prodding at him as he watches her. It makes his smile flicker away.
“Right Beomgyu?” Soobin elbows him and Beomgyu is finally broken out of his daze.
All Beomgyu’s plugs slowly enter each outlet. “Huh?”
“You were so social during our trainee days, it was hard for people to hate you.” Soobin says, making everyone chuckle.
“Even when they saw you as competition, no dice.” Yeonjun chimes in. It was fun to reminisce until it wasn’t. He was smiling again and it seemed to immediately go away the longer he thought about it. He’s been told this. That he’s unhateable. He’s too silly, a loveable brat. But you managed.
“He could never do wrong. We make a mistake and it would start a fight. Beomgyu would do the same thing and they would just brush it off.” Kai adds, and everyone laughs again except for Beomgyu who’s stuck staring in space, his water bottle static in his hands.
“That’s so true!” Someone gushes through the laughter.
“Funny how things change, huh?”
The room goes silent as Beomgyu takes a swig from his bottle.
Jiwon looks panicked before laughing nervously. “What do you mean? I’ve never laughed this much before meeting you, and the girls love when you come over. Not to mention having four members who love you. That’s rare, you know.”
Soobin claps before pointing at Jiwon. “That’s exactly right!”
“What else could you need?” Jiwon rubs Beomgyu’s back, making him realize that she’s not miles away from him like it feels she is. She’s right. So everything will eventually get better.
-🖊️⇝
“Let’s go to a karaoke bar next!” Eunchae ugly laughs in excitement, already running ahead with Kazuha chasing behind her. Yunjin loops her arm with Sakura before following the younger members, engaged in a personal conversation. On instinct, Chaewon follows close by, yelling for the younger members to slow down.
The five of them have a warm dynamic that’s so enticing. Their figures growing further, soaked in the various vibrant hues of neon signs. It was like a scene out of films you watch alone on your couch. It’s right there.
Freezing as if something dawned on her, Chaewon swiftly turns around to face you.
“You coming?” She shouts.
“Ugh, she never comes. Let’s just go.” Yunjin whines dismissively. Chaewon looks conflicted as her gaze switches between you both. You stretch your mouth into a thin line.
“I have to get home. I’ll text you.”
Chaewon wants to protest but when she looks back at her members, they’re much farther away than she thought. Then when she looks back at you, you’re already gone.
From the corner of the bar, you send texts back and forth. Your head slips off your fist and nearly slams into the table before you stop it. Just an hour before, you were here with a group of people. The memory feels like particles of dust floating through the air that you try to clutch in your fist.
“Are you okay? I think you’ve had enough for the night. Call a cab and go home.” The stern, motherly tone of the owner doesn’t offend you at all. You don’t get to answer before she’s off sweeping the other end of the restaurant. You let your body completely slump over, resting your upper body on the table.
A tsk barely pricks at your foggy brain. “What a mess.” Myungsoo sighs.
“Take me home oppa.” You giggle with your cheek squished against the table. He raises his brow at you and you raise your arms. He groans before picking you up from the table and holding you bridal style. You rest your head against his chest, feeling tired against his warmth. You’re just about to drift off to sleep when he’s placing you into the passenger’s seat. You whine in protest but he’s already shutting the door. The gentle car ride makes your lids heavier until they shut completely.
Myungsoo picking you up again has your eyes slowly lifting open. You watch his face as he carries you. His body heat is intoxicating. You can’t stop your eyes from flickering down at his lips. You don’t want to mount him like you usually do, you feel something deeper. Maybe there was a reason he took so long to let you have him at first.
He lets you down to unlock his door before taking you by the hand and leading you in. You’re cuddling on his bed, still unable to take your eyes off him. He’s caught you a couple times and all he does is smile. This time his eyes linger on yours before whispering for you to come closer. You’re moving as soon as he says to, connecting your lips to his hungrily.
He smells and tastes so good. You trace your tongue over his bottom lip before pecking his mouth. He grins, letting out a warm, chesty chuckle.
“I love when you guys get like this.”
You laugh, a little confused. You peck him again. “You guys?”
He caresses the back of your neck before pulling you in for a deeper kiss. Your breath picks up as you climb on top of him, smashing your mouths together. He pulls away and whispers breathily in your ear.
“You have that twinkle in your eye. You need me. All you think of is me.”
You shudder, grinding down on him. You trail kisses all over his neck as he continues.
“If I were to leave, you’d be devastated.”
The thought makes you whimper, nipping at his neck. He hisses. “Stop it.” You say in a tiny voice. You feel his bulge grow more prominent.
“You’d do anything to please me, make me stay.” He moans through the sentence, bucking up into you. Your heart starts thumping, and the longer this goes on the more you realize it’s not because you’re turned on. You lift from him.
“I said stop.” Your face is hot. It’s right, he’s completely correct. You want to have your hands and lips on him at all times and your heart is constantly clenched by the fear that he doesn’t really care about you.
“What? Should I make you bleed instead?” He laughs.
Your chest constricts, your breath getting caught in your throat. Your lips tremble as you quirk your jaw trying to curb the anger bubbling up.
“What did you just say?”
“Babe.” He sits up on his forearms. “I’m just trying to rile you up a little bit. I’m just having a little fun.” He looks you up and down, he’s getting harder underneath you.
Right… this is something you’re familiar with. Something that could lead to even a moment of serenity. But it’s never that way with him. His eyes judge you and urge you to satisfy him. He doesn’t even have to say a word and you’re scrambling to make sure he’s pleased. You’re giving your all as he lazily lies beneath you, enjoying the show. Exuding passion with nothing in return is exhausting, that exhaustion finally dawning on you.
“Well I’m not.” You say before swinging your leg back over him. You slide out of his bed and start putting your clothes back on.
“Where are you going? Come on, you don’t actually want to leave.” He barely moves, just shifting a little to the side.
“I just need a little space for the night.” You hurriedly slip into your pants, wanting to leave instead of having this conversation.
“No you don’t. You need company like you need water.” His velvety smooth voice that once coaxed you into giving your all to him is gone. What’s left is harsh yet dismissive.
“You don’t know what I need, Myungsoo.” You shoot back, throwing your shirt on the bed.
“I know, everyone knows. You’re so lonely you walk around everywhere like a lost puppy but run away whenever anyone tries to get to know you. There’s a reason you were texting me and not your friends you were just drinking with. I’m all you have. So don’t be stupid.”
Just like that, the harsh lines in his face melt away and he’s back to smirking, patting the space beside him in the bed.
Is this what you deserve? They say you shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. And he’s right. He’s so right, again. Maybe you should just sink into the warmth and turn your brain off. Turn on the switch to perform.
However, as you think, emotions build inside you. It feels like pressure behind your skull threatening to pop. Tears abruptly start gushing down your face as you grab your shirt and rush out of the door. You can’t stop the ugly noises from leaving you as you rush home in the cold night air.
By the time you’re in your own bed, your face and head hurt from the intensity of your sobs. There are no tears left as you continue to sob. It didn’t work. You were supposed to use him as an opportunity to take away some stress but somehow it’s worse. There’s nothing you can do. You’ll just have to live with this alone. Forever.
CRACK
-🖊️⇝
“I was so close but I didn’t make it.” Jiwon sighs dejectedly.
“I don’t know what they don’t see in you! I think you’re a great performer.” Kai laments.
“You did a great job.” Beomgyu rubs her hand and she instantly smiles.
“Thanks. And at the end of the day I still have my group and you guys.” Everyone gushes at her response.
Beomgyu’s mind wanders to the place it has been going frequently these days. He wonders what you’re doing. What it would be like if you were still friends with the members. If he didn’t make you cry. Would you be smiling as widely as Jiwon is even after failing?
“Look who’s lost in thought again.” Soobin pats Beomgyu’s back but he’s stuck. He’s nestled deep within thoughts of you.
“You know you could talk to us about anything, right?” Jiwon moves her hand to caress his. No. He doesn’t know this. In fact, he knows it’s not true.
“Why do you think she was crying that day?” Beomgyu doesn’t look up but the table goes quiet. The tension is lathered thick over the air. Jiwon laughs nervously.
“Wait, Beomgyu weren’t you just talking about–” Jiwon attempts to change the topic.
“You would think she’d be really happy right now.” He continues.
“Let’s not talk about this–” Jiwon tries but Beomgyu turns toward her.
“Didn’t you say I could talk to you guys about anything?”
“But Beomgyu… talking about her is only going to make you more upset.” Jiwon lowers her voice, going back to how cautious she was when they first met.
“Do I look upset? You guys are the ones acting like there’s a gun to your heads when she’s brought up.” Beomgyu resumes eating while everyone else is still frozen.
“Gyu. It’s because you should let go of her. It’ll be better for you.” Her hand that was once soothing on his now felt like an owner trying to calm their dog after someone knocked on the door.
“You don’t know what’s better for me.” Beomgyu grumbles.
Soobin stands abruptly. “Beomgyu, can we talk in the kitchen?”
“Gladly.” Beomgyu immediately follows the taller male out the dining room and down the hall. Before Soobin could start scolding him he had things to get off his chest first.
“Why did you introduce me to her in the first place?”
“She asked to meet you. She was interested.” Soobin expresses annoyedly.
“I’m sure plenty of girls have done that, why did you decide to do so for her.” Beomgyu probes.
“Because I knew her and trusted her.”
“Trusted her to be able to handle a project.” Beomgyu rushes out. And before Soobin can deny anything he’s rushing toward him with a finger pointed at his face. “I don’t need to be fixed.”
Soobin sighs, uneasy about how this conversation may go.
“You’re not broken, you’re hurt. Everyone gets hurt, Beomgyu. There’s nothing wrong with accepting help. We’re just trying to help you move on-”
“I don’t want to move on! You guys were so fucking anal about how I treated her and now you just pretend she doesn’t exist?” Beomgyu shouts furiously.
Soobin decides it’s better to just rip off the bandaid. There's no changing the truth.
“She’s gone. It’s been half a year and she’s made no attempt to reach out to any of us. It’s clear that part of our lives is over. Beomgyu, you need to focus on yourself right now. We can get through this together.” Soobin tries to coax a reasonable reaction out of Beomgyu but it doesn’t seem to be working. He’s only getting more worked up.
“Stop. Stop.” Beomgyu shoves his hands into his hair before gritting his teeth. “I’m so sick of everyone shoving me under a telescope. At least she never pried.”
“Are you insinuating that what you guys had was anything remotely healthy? Continuously hanging around someone who you despise that much isn’t good for either of you. I saw the marks all over her body.”
Beomgyu sees red, he’s grabbing Soobin’s collar before he could think it through.
“You shut your fucking mouth. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t know her like I do.” Beomgyu shoves him away, his glare hot like lava as he walks out of the room. Heading toward his bedroom he doesn’t see Jiwon on the other side of the doorway. She bites her fist as a tear trickles down her cheek.
“When’s Beomgyu coming over next?” Mao asks, switching to kneel on the couch toward a stone faced Jiwon. Jiwon takes in a quick breath, checking one last time if this is the right move.
“I don’t think he is.”
Mao and the other girls in the room all make a noise in surprise and crowd around Jiwon on the couch. “What the hell happened?” Haeyoon asked incredulously.
Jiwon lets out a small derisive laugh to pair with a tiny smirk as she drops her head. “He’s hung up over his ex.”
The girls all switch between comforting her and cursing him.
“Who’s the ex?” Chaerin asks angrily.
Jiwon thinks on it again. Fuck it.
“Do you know that song Strawberry Jam?”
-🖊️⇝
Something is unresolved. That much is clear as you both lay in your own rooms, tear stains on each of your pillows. And as long as it stays unresolved, you both will be unable to be loved.
You’ve denied four invitations to hang out with Chaewon, and you’re surprised she still asks. This month is a free schedule for you to rest after your song promotions are over.
Beomgyu either plays video games until his eyes are dry or lies in bed scrolling through social media. His members pop in to give him food.
Your stomach twists painfully as you watch tv in bed. The colors dance around blurrily as your eyes start to water again.
A month didn’t feel like a month, but you lost track of your days so it makes sense when your manager comes into your room.
“What’s that smell? Get up and take a shower. We’re going to go over this month’s schedule.” She shuts the door, trusting that you’ll follow orders. Even she used to be kinder to you. What’s the use of attempting to start relationships when they don’t work out. Even your own parents don’t talk to you anymore. You laugh hoarsely. The laughing grows louder and louder until you’re cackling.
You cackle in the shower as well. Is this what happens after you’ve cried so much tears don’t come out anymore?
Beomgyu regretted chasing away Jiwon the minute he did it. She had a similar hurt expression to you when he yelled at her to get out of his room. Look at how each of his relationships ended. Why the hell would Hyesoo stay with a guy like him. Beomgyu’s lip quivers before he’s crying into his pillow again.
You both carry out what’s scheduled for you numbly, so checked out neither of you can add anything valuable to any conversation.
“Remember how you signed up to be an MC? Well you got accepted! You can continue submitting songs for your next comeback but this should be your priority for now.” One of the women at the table inform you. Fuck, you did do that, didn’t you.
It turns out it’s pretty easy. Just smile and read your lines. It’s much easier to turn your MC switch on, it seems. You had even gotten comfortable with it. Your co-MC is friendly. Formal, but friendly. Everything was working out.
You lift up your cue card in the silence of your empty room.
“And here’s TXT with their new comeback...” Your enthusiasm wanes when you think about standing in a room with him again.
CRACK
It’ll be fine, just flip the switch.
You can feel that he’s there, everyone can feel the tension. The you that was involved with him is switched off right now. Right now you’re conducting an interview.
Beomgyu slowly fades to the background as you watch the other members, remembering the good memories you had together. Soobin does most of the talking which makes your chest unwittingly constrict. After this you’ll be all alone again.
The makeup artist finally gets done touching up your makeup and you get a moment to stew. Only a short moment as the other MC approaches.
“Hey, are you okay?”
The simple question forces your switch off. The two of you made eye contact at the end of the interview, and for some reason a whirlwind of emotions threatened to escape you. You’re not okay.
“It’s just, I know you have a past with Beomgyu.”
“Yeah–” You look up at him as your brain fog slowly dissipates. “What did you say?”
“I heard that you wrote Strawberry Jam about him and I…”
Everything silently shatters, the pieces remaining all clattering to the floor.
“Look at the back of her neck.” You whip your head around to see two idols whispering before looking shocked and scurrying away. You send a shaky hand to the back of your neck to cover it. Doing so makes your sleeve drop and reveal scratches on your arm. You begin hyperventilating as you scan your surroundings. Multiple people, staff, idols, everybody is whispering and looking at you. You block out the other MC yelling after you as you run out of the room.
Was it Myungsoo? Was he retaliating because you left him? You never mentioned Beomgyu though. No… it could only be one person. Tears stream down your face as you hunt for their dressing room. You pass a mirror on the way and get stuck staring at your void of a face. Only a pair of reddened, crazed eyes stare back. You refocus on your hunt and finally find their door. You swing it open and rush toward Beomgyu in a frenzy.
As you enter, everything around Beomgyu is a blur. The staff looking shocked, Yeonjun and Soobin jumping up to restrain you. And you. Your makeup is completely ruined with a look of utter fury on your face as you cock your hand back before striking him across the face. Time goes back to normal as the staff gasp. Beomgyu places a hand over his stinging flesh. It prickles, burning through his numbness. The initial impact of the slap was like a crack of lightning striking him. He feels a blur of emotions threatening to pour out.
“Why the fuck would you do that?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Yeonjun and Soobin had successfully restrained you but you thrash to get free. You curse and swipe at Beomgyu, yelling incoherently. Beomgyu slowly stands up and approaches you. Taehyun has to join and hold each arm when Beomgyu is in reaching distance.
“Let me go!” You shriek like a raging animal, trying to rip yourself free. You kick at him, your heels striking his shins and sending a piercing bout of pain up his legs.
“What the fuck are you doing?! Get away from her!” Soobin yells.
“Let her go.” Beomgyu yells over the commotion.
“What?! Why would–” Yeonjun starts but Soobin lets go.
“Just do it. Let him have her.” Soobin spits, scowling at the younger male whose eyes are still trained on you. Taehyun and Yeonjun let you go and you immediately slap him again.
“You just couldn’t help trying to ruin my career again? Do you really hate me that much after I gave you what you wanted?” You whisper shakily, your eyes wild as they take him in.
“Beomgyu… what did you do?” Kai’s voice is weak behind him.
Beomgyu takes your arm and pulls you out of the room. You yell for him to let you go and strike his arm. Each hit is like a jolt of clarity for Beomgyu, the pain an afterthought. He pulls you into an empty room where you begin banging your fists against his chest. He stumbles backward, slamming you against the door and shutting it.
He restrains your arms, squeezing them to keep them steady as you thrash again. “Why?! What else do you want?!”
“What did I do, he asked.” Beomgyu laughed. He throws his head against the door and laughs harder. You look on in utter disbelief.
“Is this funny to you?”
“What’s funny is that I didn’t do anything and somehow shit has still hit the fan. My members are questioning me again, you’re fucking hitting me again.” The amusement Beomgyu was expressing earlier is completely gone as he starts his rant.
“You told everyone that my song was about us!”
“I didn’t!” He shouts back.
“Then who did Beomgyu?!”
“I’m not the only person who knew about us.” Beomgyu yanks you closer by your arms. You finally manage to free your arms and you drive a finger into his chest.
“But you are the only person who has proven to be malicious enough to do something like this.”
“How do you know it’s not one of your friends? You’re all big and famous now, maybe you shouldn’t go around telling anyone your secrets.”
“I don’t have any friends anymore, Beomgyu!” You shout, your voice cracking as a lone tear rolls down your cheek. “Remember? You drove me away from my only friends. I didn’t go “whoring around Enhypen”. I have no one.” The last of the sentence shreds your throat. You run your hands over your face before pointing at him again. “I’m going through enough and you choose to fuck with me. This is all I have Beomgyu!” You pound both your fists against his chest and again you’re moving in slow motion. He can see it in your eyes. In how hard you clench your teeth. He can feel it each time you strike him.
“Why would you do it?” You sob.
“Slap me.”
You gape at him, chest rising and falling violently as you make up for the amount of air you lost.
Beomgyu is the one getting riled up now. “Do it. Slap me. Fucking do it–”
You strike him hard enough that the corner of his mouth splits.
“Do it again.”
Your hand is impacting his cheek as soon as his sentence ends.
“Again.”
You’re both breathing frantically as you slap him again and another time before he can even ask. He grabs your forearm and yanks you closer. “Do it. I know what you want. Fucking ruin me.”
You grab his face and pull his mouth to smash against yours. He lifts you up and you immediately wrap your legs around him. The taste of his tongue, his blood, it lights you up. All your emotions come flooding out as you grip his shirt and tear it apart. Your noses bump harshly against each other as he repositions you against the wall.
You can barely act on your urges with how intense Beomgyu’s actions are. Every ounce of passion you exude is given back to you tenfold. Within moments of letting you down you are both bare for each other.
Beomgyu’s skin being exposed is perfect for your nails dying to sink into it. You reach your arms under his that cage against the wall and slowly rake your fingernails down his back. He winces, letting out small noises of pain. The anger and sadness inside you has hit its peak. You’re so fucking angry, but the pained look on his face hurts.
You want to do something about your anger, but you still retract your hands and sink against the wall. Beomgyu looks at you confused before drawing closer. You shy away from him, whimpering as the bitter truth sets in.
Beomgyu didn’t force you to stop talking to Soobin. Beomgyu didn’t force you to ghost your friends. Beomgyu isn’t the cause of your loneliness.
It’s you.
He reaches out to touch you but you push him away. His saddened eyes make you ache which in turn makes you more angry. But you can no longer bring yourself to hit him. A surge of rage sends your own hand across your face. The sting is distracting, it’s something. You strike your other cheek harder and Beomgyu stops you before you can do it again.
“No.” He takes your hand and pulls it near his face. Your eyes follow your hand as it closes in on him.
“Hit me.”
Your eyes move slowly towards his lips as they form the words, then up to his dark, big eyes. They’re swarming with depth and emotion. You take in his entire face, reddened by your hand. Lips swollen from your mouth. Hair tousled in the chaos. You see him.
You thought tears would be a rare occurrence by now, but there goes another, skitting from your cheekbone to the floor. You smile bitterly.
“I can’t.”
The gleam of your tears brings life to your otherwise tired eyes. He wants to question why, to wallow in self pity with his own delusional reasoning. But no, in your face is all the answers he needs. The same reason he hasn’t hurt you once this entire time. You sigh, letting your head fall, your eyes darkening as they close.
“I don’t know what else to do.” You express weakly.
Seeing you tremble silently makes his previous attempts to pin his resentment on you seem absurd. Beomgyu lets go of your hand.
“I don’t either.”
It’s like clarity washes over the both of you at the same time as you both take in your surroundings. Assess the situation. You shake your head.
“Then what are we doing here?” You brush past him in pursuit of your clothing, pick up each article scattered around the room.
“It’s just like we said. We don’t know what else to do.” He says behind you.
You slow your collection as you let his words sink in. You’ve exhausted every other option. Therapy, rough sex, songwriting, diaries, crying. Then you feel his warmth behind you. Your eyes ease closed as you melt into him. Your mind goes blank and for the first time in a long time, it’s not out of force or sheer exhaustion. Both of you relax into one another. You’d have to go out eventually, explain yourself and face scrutiny. Risk people’s opinions of you degrading. There’s nothing to worry about here. You’ve already seen the worst of each other. There’s nothing to guard in fear.
You turn around to face him. He looks different. Softer. Unintimidating. He could say the same for you. You climb on top of him, shivering as his member brushes against your mound. Your lips meld together like softening butter. They glide, becoming slick with the other’s saliva.
He glides his nose up the side of your face as he slips inside you. Both of your mouths hang agape as he slots all the way in. He’s buried deep inside you, no space left unfilled. The two of you substitute kissing for pressing your heads together, feeling every part of the other's skin. You trail your tongue across his jaw before kissing up to his ear. Every sense is filled with Beomgyu to the point where you can’t think of anything else. His makeup, his cologne, his body wash, his deodorant, his lotion, his taste, his touch, him, him, him. Your heart swells as he showers you with as much attention as you give him and then some.
Your hips move in unison, grinding together. Once you kiss again there’s no longer any space in between. Disconnecting sends slightly louder pants and moans into the air as you both start moving faster. You’ve never heard him moan like this. It’s so unrestrained and vulnerable, exposing his eagerness just as much as his hands squeezing your ass does.
You find you feel full in more ways than one right now. He saw you at your ugliest and he’s still here right now holding you like he never plans to let go. As if reading your thoughts, he clutches you even closer. You feel a light, bubbly laugh float from your chest as your legs start to tingle. You gasp as you climax with a stutter of your hips. Your movements slow ‘til they’ve almost ceased as you drowsily rest your forehead on his. The two of you rock back and forth in the only clean circle of the room amongst the chaos.
A moment of serenity is all the two of you are granted when you hear a knock at the door. Soobin comes in, looking disappointed as he regards you both.
“Are you done? Everyone’s looking for you.”
-🖊️⇝
Beomgyu got an earful for disappearing that day. You could’ve gotten into an ungodly amount of trouble if the other MC didn’t stick up for you. He felt responsible and was beyond apologetic. You forgave him, of course. He did nothing wrong. Also, you've come to terms with the fact that you know you have nothing to do with that song. It's someone else's demo you got paid to perform. It doesn't define you.
“Hey, are you coming?” Chaewon asks. You go to answer but notice a couple of conflicted looks from her members. A quick thought that you “better not annoy them” crosses your mind. You imagine tagging along and making things awkward and it makes you wince.
“No, I-”
“Come on.” Yunjin says dismissively and pulls you by the arm to follow them to their next location.
You sit stiffly on the couch, clapping along to Eunchae’s loud singing as everyone around you cheers.
She concludes with two bows and a loud ‘thank you’ into the microphone.
“Go ahead and pick who’s next.” Yunjin yells gleefully. You’re too distracted to realize Yunjin’s hand is hovering over you with her finger extended down.
“Hmm…” Eunchae pretends to think about it for a comically short amount of time before yelling out your name. Your confusion is cut short by a cheering Yunjin and Chaewon pushing you toward the screen. She hands you the mic which you take hesitantly. Once they're seated again they initiate a chant.
“Sing! Sing! Sing! Sing!”
Your brain does the honors of going over all of the embarrassing ways this could play out. Regardless of that, you’re already singing. It’s either that or running out the door, and the latter would take much more effort and explaining. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?
You finish to cheers and applause and you bow in response.
-🖊️⇝
Things in the dorm have gone back to being tense. Soobin isn’t giving Beomgyu the silent treatment this time, but it’s clear he’s disappointed. Everyone is under the impression that they hooked up again only to go back to hating each other. Mostly because you haven’t come over yet. Beomgyu was giving it some time, but now he’s ready.
“Stop acting weird.” He sighs, rubbing his nose bridge. “I did have sex with her. No, the song isn’t about me. We don’t hate each other. You guys can stop tiptoeing around me now.”
The members visibly untense, but only to express confusion.
“Where is she then?” Soobin speaks up, casting a stern look his way.
“Why does her being here matter?” Beomgyu finally gets to ask.
“Remember when you called me naive for having faith in her?” Soobin grits his teeth. “After all that she’s still-”
You cautiously click open the door, slowly revealing your apologetic expression. “I was going to wait but I didn’t…” You stop when you see the hardened look on Soobin’s face upon seeing you. “H-hello everyone.”
Kai stands up and marches over to give you a crushing hug. The gesture makes your heart flutter.
“You didn’t even call.” He pouts.
“I’m sorry.” You squeeze out. Taehyun and Yeonjun come next. Taehyun gives you a side hug while Yeonjun pats your back.
“Welcome back.” Yeonjun says with a wide smile.
The moment is interrupted by Soobin walking out of the living room into his own and slamming the door. You immediately follow after him, an action that Beomgyu watches carefully. Of course he notices a sharp pain in his chest, but he sits with it. Studies it. You could be chasing after him to reveal your true feelings and this time he may accept. He doesn’t want that. It even makes him a little bitter, but he can’t stop you. He can say whatever ugly words come to his mind to try and scare you away, but this time they may not work. And you’re not doing anything wrong. Him cuddling with you and drifting off to sleep in your bed doesn’t mean you’re dating. Moreover, you’re not Hyesoo. He’s seen every part of you by now. Regardless of everything, he’ll still be happy to have you in his life.
“You have sex with me and then never show your face again? Do you know how that feels?” Soobin explains desperately with tears springing to his eyes. “I knew the sex was meaningless, that was the whole point, but for you to up and leave afterward like I was just some random guy really sucks.”
“I-I didn’t want to leave, Soobin. I was too mortified to show my face again.”
“Because that’s what you guys being together does! You break down each other and then turn to breaking down those around you just trying to help. It’s selfish for you to waltz back in here like everything is back to normal.”
“It’s not.” You state confidently. “Everything is very, very different now. I can’t go into public spaces without being recognized, I have more people around me than ever before, and Beomgyu and I don’t hate each other anymore. You said it yourself, we’re similar and we wreck everything around us. We do it to ourselves. Beomgyu realizes it now and I certainly do. I don’t want things to go back to normal, because that version of me is gone.” The more you speak, the easier the words come. You smile hopefully at Soobin.
“I’m moving on with or without you, but I’d really love it if you entered this new chapter with me.”
You grab both of Soobin’s hands as his head droops. He’s silent for what feels like decades passing you by. Then he squeezes your hands.
Epilogue 🖊️⇝
Chaewon: you should apologize.
You pass the phone to Beomgyu in the midst of his “advice”. He crosses one arm over his chest as he reads the very short text for an inappropriate amount of time.
“But you didn’t know, right?”
“That doesn’t mean I’m not in the wrong.” You groan, snatching your phone back. He snatches it right back and starts texting.
“Hey!” You go to take your phone back but he leans away further and further until his body is caging the phone against the couch. You climb over him and bite his shoulder but he just laughs as the text is sent. You frantically snatch your phone back and look in horror.
You: tomorrow at my house 6pm;’2[21
“What the fuck! Beomgyu!” You shriek.
“You didn’t know, therefore you didn’t intentionally do anything wrong. But you did hurt Kazuha’s feelings and the members are very mad at you.” He explains calmly, smacking on his food.
“Thanks for reminding me of my unfortunate situation.” You deadpan.
“You were worried they think you're a horrible person. Boom–” He motions at your phone with his sandwich. “You can fix that. You’re worried you’re actually a horrible person, but you had no intentions of hurting anyone.”
“Yeah but you weren’t there. The way I said it was so insensitive in context and the look on Zuha’s face,” You whimper and hide your face in your hands.
“You didn’t hurt her on purpose.” The finality in Beomgyu’s voice makes you look up at him. His face is serious. “I’m certain of it. Now come here.” He pats his lap and you’re eagerly scooting over to lay your head on his lap. He sighs.
“You idiot.” He brushes away the tear falling down your face. “Why don’t you listen to me?”
“Hurting someone as sweet as her is pure evil.” You whisper.
“I don’t have to know you to say that an evil person wouldn’t be this remorseful. But knowing you, you’re not the type of person to go into an exchange ready to hurt an innocent person. You’re the type of person who sits quietly thinking about what you could say that will make people laugh the loudest and smile the brightest. I’m very sure that’s what you were thinking that day as well.” He voices his thoughts as he strokes your hair, stroking your cheek with his thumb. He looks down to meet your gaze and you feel the singe of a fire starting in your heart. He smiles lazily and it's the cherry on top of the artwork that is his face.
You slowly lean up before capturing his lips. It’s slow, tender, loaded. Kissing him after all the chaos feels like lying in a field of dandelions, the seeds breaking away and dancing in the wind. His skin feels like the warm hug of sunlight. His voice is like birds singing. You pull away and look at him in awe. He seems to be mirroring your feelings if his drunken expression is anything to go by. He shuts his mouth and brushes the back of his hand against your cheek.
“You’re kissing me outside of us having sex?” Beomgyu sports exaggerated shock and presses his palm to your forehead. His antics force a giggle out of you. “Are you sick?!”
You swipe his hand away, unable to ignore the burning light in your chest as you look at him and he silently looks back. You lean in and kiss him one last time before risking it all once you realize what this feeling is.
“I think I love you.” You whisper, looking desperately at his face to catch anything unsavory. His smile drops, looking genuinely shocked this time. He grabs your face and pecks your lips over and over before moving to the other parts of your face until you're stuck in a fit of laughter. He pulls away with adoration in his eyes.
“I loved you first.”
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Luckiest man
First time writing for Honkai star rail! Enjoy everyone
Here I am also, trying a new format of writing 🫶🏻
Synopsis: things you do that make these hrs men feel like the luckiest man in the universe
Pairing: Dan heng x gn!reader , Sampo x gn!reader, Gepard x gn! Reader
Cw: fluff, headcanon, not proofread
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DAN HENG
Dan Heng always feels like the luckiest man when hes with you, but something about waking up with you beside him either still sleeping soundly or awake gazing at him hits different.
The intimate moment you both share when sleeping together is something he wouldnt trade for the world
Its one of tbe only times you both get peace and quiet around.
If you still end up sleeping, he'll observe your features. The quite snore you make, the way your brows furrow from time to time, like your dream was extreamly serious
If you wake up before him though, he gets a bit flustered when he finally wakes up. Seeing your eyes look at him longingly as you broke the silence between the 2 of you "morning dear". It gets him everytime
he truly is the luckiest man in the universe.
SAMPO
Sampo is a comic relief. Hes an idiot and a pain in the ass
All of which you have grown accustom to over time
Lots of people dont get how you can put up with his pathetic ass but here you are.
Sampo is well aware on how lucky he is to have such a patient partner like you and wouldnt dare take advantage of your kindness towards him.
He tries to make it up to you, be it giving gifts, acts of service or intimate moments between the 2 of you
You appreciate it all, but Sampo felt like he didnt hit the spot yet, one of which would make you truly appreciate what hes got to offer
After all youve given much more to him than you know,
You gave him many opportunities. You have him patience, kindness, love...
He feels like he needs up step up his game.
He finally found out what truly gets you to appreciate Sampo Koski
Its the jokes he makes, its when he embarrasses himself infront of you when he tried to look cool, its when he gets clumsy.
You laugh, and its a genuine laugh.
Whether or not your laugh was suppose to be a laugh of pity or not it was still genuine in the man's eyes
And thats what matters.
Because anytime he gets you to laugh, you'd help him back to his feet and give him a sweet kiss on his lips.
He starts making a fool out himself more often, of course not too often...
That would be concerning, but he does so when he knows you need it the most.
When you laugh, you make him feel appreciated
he starts chanting prayers to the Aeons above, thanking them for making him the way he is, and for bringing you to him.
GEPARD
Gepard is a general, a Landau. His family was known to be warriors of Belobog. Serving until the end
As he made his way to the top, he got busier and busier. Coming home late, or even coming home the next morning.
When you both decided to make it official between the 2 of you, he told you about the late nights he may come home, and you stayed by his side anyways.
Accepting that, although it can get lonely sometimes, you are willing to wait for him to come home, and finally get the rest you both deserve together.
The general came home one night, to see a dim light coming from the living room.
It was you reading a book on the sofa, and he knew you were waiting for him again.
He felt guilty, for making you stay up and lose sleep, just to wait for him.
Gepard insisted that you shouldnt wait for him to come home next time, as he might come home later or even the next day. But you told him the same words he heard the first time he told you about the late nights
"Im aware and I dont care. I'll keep on waiting for you to come home. Whether it be 10 minutes or late into the night. I want to be able to welcome you home, and I want you to be able to sleep well, knowing that Im here right beside you."
Your patience and determination was what got him and
He knew he was head over heels for you now. My my what a lucky general this Landau became
──────•❥❥❥•──────
REQUESTS OPEN TEMPORARILY
Masterlist here!
#honkai star rail#honkai sampo#honkai gepard#hsr x reader#hsr x gender neutral reader#dan heng#dan heng x reader#dan heng x y/n#sampo x reader#sampo x you#hsr fluff#honkai star rail fanfic#x reader#hsr headcanons#dan heng fluff#sampo fluff#gepard fluff#sampo honkai#gepard honkai#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x you
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Hey! I recently stumbled across your work and have been absolutely hooked. Can I request Dorm Leaders’ reactions when fem!reader accidentally falls under a sleeping curse? The cure is true love’s kiss of course, but they’re either too dense or too anxious to know that:P
yes, ofc! i’ll only write up to vil cuz im not familiar enough with idia and malleus for the time being, but hopefully one day i can muster up the courage to write them haha
~~~~~
Dorm Leaders with an S/O Cursed to Sleep
Characters: Riddle Rosehearts, Leona Kingscholar,Azul Ashengrotto, Kalim Al-Asim, Vil Schoenheit
Content Warnings: Tiny bit of angst (more like panic but the title is self-explanatory), yall can imagine the ending however u want im cutting it off at the kiss, mostly typed on phone so possible typos but its fine
A/N: man it took me so long to get around to this and i'm so sorryyyy (*_ _)人 but i hope you enjoy!
"How could this possibly happen? Y/N is surrounded by students for a large portion their day, every day, and yet they are lying here, having been singled out and targeted by such a malevolent curse," Vil argued.
Leona leaned against the furthest wall, rolling his eyes. "Will ya shut your trap already? We get it, it's a bad situation, and it's real inconvenient." He scowled at your sleeping form, like maybe if he judged you enough, you'd wake up. "I almost wanna say they deserve this, for bein' so dense, but—"
"How could you say that?" Kalim cried, attempting to quickly wipe the tears streaking down his face. "They've been nothing but nice to all of us, but now they're d—"
"The prefect is not dead, simply... incapacitated for an indefinite amount of time," Azul replied smoothly, but if you looked closely, he seemed to be holding back a bit of his own worry from showing on his face. "I think—"
"No one asked you what you think, cephalo-punk—"
"QUIET, ALL OF YOU!" Riddle shouted, thoroughly irritated by the lack of progress in getting you to wake up. "Instead of sitting around complaining, we should be coming up with a solution."
They stood in silence for a few tense moments, before Vil softly spoke.
"I believe I've read about a similar situation happening with a princess long ago. She too was cursed into slumber, and the only way to wake her up was—"
"But-but that's impossible!" Riddle sputtered. "True love's kiss? Should we really be looking to a fairytale for our answers?"
"All stories are laced with truth, as they say," Azul thoughtfully stroked his chin. "Perhaps... we should try it, if we truly have no other options."
A heavy silence spread across the room as every leader contemplated this. Finally, someone spoke.
"Alright, I'll do it."
Riddle Rosehearts
Oh, dear, what a predicament.
Riddle’s a clever boy, so he knows exactly what needs to be done... he just doesn't exactly have the courage to do it.
I mean, true love’s kiss? Is that something he can even achieve? Is he worthy of kissing you awake, or will he fall short of needing to be your "true love"?
He has his worries, but he does his best to be rational, and just do the next logical step in achieving his goal.... in this case the goal being to save you from being stuck in an eternal slumber that possibly no one will be able to wake you from. No big deal.
He ordered everyone to clear out, as there was no way he could bring himself to kiss you in front of all those eyes. Much too embarrassing.
He approached the side of your bed, and stared at your gently closed eyes. You looked so peaceful— was this perhaps a much-needed break from running around campus every day? As much as he wanted to say you SHOULD be waking up to attend to what needed to be done, he was afraid of forcing you back to your tiresome waking reality. What if you got upset at him for bringing you back?
But he couldn't dwell on these questions when you were stuck under a curse. Everyone wanted you back. And Riddle missed you more than he'd like to admit. So he leaned over your resting frame, and with only a moment of hesitation, he pressed his lips gently to yours.
Leona Kingscholar
First off, what a hassle.
Most of him didn't even wanna be here, arguing with the other dorm losers, but he couldn't bring himself to just ditch you when you needed help.
Once Schoenheit mentioned true love's kiss being the only option available to wake you up, he scoffed and almost left right then, ready to let someone else deal with that. But then he had a thought.
What if he was the one that you needed that kiss from?
The more he thought about it, the more possessive he was getting over you. He didn't want any of these other idiots kissing you, cuz you were his. He was the one that truly wanted you, and you felt the same way, of course. Right?
He got flashbacks to all the times you defended him, like during his overblot, when you simply refused to let him destroy himself when he was at his lowest.
And then, right there, he made up his mind. He wasn't gonna let any of these guys claim you first, so he pushed his way through from the wall, slipped his hand underneath your head, and kissed you with all the passion he'd been holding back since he met you.
Azul Ashengrotto
Azul was incredibly good at holding up a façade of confidence, even if he didn’t always feel that way. But upon realizing the fact that the only way to wake you was through a true love’s kiss, well, it made him more nervous than he expected to be
At first, he tried to approach it like he would any other situation. How can he turn this in his favor? How can he maximize his own gain from this situation? How can he take control?
But the more he thought about it, the more a certain sense of dread overcame him. He started to realize that this was not a situation he could take control of. There was only one option; to kiss you, or let someone else do it. No cheating, no manipulation, and there’s nothing else he could gain or lose. That was the only variable.
But now that he really thought about that… was kissing you really such a bad option? Or was it something he desired deep in the pits of his own soul, under all the indifferent, confident, businesslike masks he used on the regular?
The more he thought, the more his feelings for you started to claw its way towards the surface of his consciousness. And once those feelings broke through the tumultuous waves of all his suppressed emotions and made itself known, it hit him like a brick.
He cared for you. Deeper than he’d ever ventured back in the Coral Sea, deeper than he could’ve imagined. And then he felt something akin to possessiveness, almost. Not quite so aggressive as it, but he realized how badly he wanted to be the one to kiss you. Not any of the others, because then he’d have to face up to the possibility that he wasn’t your true love.
But then, even if he WAS the first one to kiss you, would you even wake up?
He really, really hoped you would.
Finally, after being stuck in his thoughts for what felt like an eternity, he decided to act.
In his most confident, self-assured voice, he asked the others to step out of the room, and only after Leona made a mocking gesture at him before closing the door, did Azul let out a big sigh.
Now alone, with his feelings free to take over, he inched towards the side of your bed, all the while keeping his eyes on your serene face before delicately sitting down on the edge.
Slowly, he took off one glove to gently hold the side of your face, rubbing his thumb against your cheek. And as he studied how peaceful you were, and felt how soft your skin was upon your beautiful face, he felt a sense of calm wash over him like a beach at high tide. All of his nervousness about kissing you was dispelled. Because like this, he felt as if you were his rock during a torrential hurricane. You felt like the safety of his octopot whenever he was afraid. He cared for you so much, he could never be scared of you.
So if this was what had to be done to wake you, to bring back your smile and laughter and all the joy you brought to his life, he would kiss you without a moment’s hesitation.
And so he did, and it was as gentle as the rocking seaweed sways under the sea, but filled with enough love to create an ocean.
Kalim Al-Asim
He’s so, so terrified that you won’t be able to wake up from this curse
Almost leaves to go get Jamil over here to figure out a way to wake you up, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave you!
If Vil said that a kiss would be the way to wake you up, does that mean they’d all have to take turns kissing you? But he wanted to be the one that counted as true love!
I mean, he always showered you with gifts that you said were “too expensive” or something, and he always shared Jamil’s cooking with you, which of course you both thought was delicious. He does so much for you because he loves you! You’re his favorite person, and he regularly told you so, and how he wanted to bring you home to his family over school break, and that he was positive that his parents would approve of you!
And with how much he showed his love for you, how could he be anything but your true love!
Wait, he had to focus at the problem at hand. You needed a kiss to wake up, and he was totally willing to give you a lil kiss (you didn’t even have to be cursed to get one from him, he’s just that affectionate)
He tried really hard to push back the nervousness by thinking happy thoughts, like how excited he’d be once you woke up and then he could give you all his affection again and have Jamil cook up a feast to celebrate your waking, and he could get a bunch of fancy animals too, and invite the whole school so everyone could be happy that the curse was gone!
Dang, he wasn’t very good at focusing on the problem in front of him. Anyway.
If kissing you was all he had to do, he was willing to give it a shot! So he volunteered out loud, and without waiting for anyone to respond or even leave, he rushed over to your bedside, and combed his fingers through your hair before accidentally smashing his lips against yours a bit too hard. Oopsie. He was just overexcited, just looking forward to seeing your happy smile again!
Vil Schoenheit
Likely approaching this problem the most rationally, closely tied with Riddle.
In the story, the fabled princess was kissed awake by a wandering, random prince who just happened to be enraptured by her sleeping beauty, and he just happened to be her true love. But how lucky would you be, to have your true love be someone in this room?
Truth be told, he was hoping with all his heart that this was his chance to be the prince, the protagonist in the story, the one who ‘gets the girl’, as those ancient stories would put it. Going his whole life playing the role of the villain, he just wanted this one chance to be your prince.
Of course, you deserved nothing less than the fairest one this world had to offer, and Vil would say he was the fairest of them all, and that you deserved him, but more than anything, he just wanted to to able to deserve you.
He didn’t overthink the situation much. He was never one to succumb to nerves or panic or anxiety. He knew what had to be done, and he knew what he wanted to do. So he strode up to you without giving the other housewardens even a passing glance, gently cupped your face, and kissed you as lovingly and as elegantly as only the best prince could.
#twst#twst writing#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst imagines#twst x reader#riddle rosehearts#riddle rosehearts x reader#twst riddle#leona kingscholar#leona kingscholar x reader#twst leona#azul ashengrotto#azul ashengrotto x reader#twst azul#twst azul x reader#kalim al asim#kalim al asim x reader#twst kalim#vil schoenheit#vil schoenheit x reader#twst vil#hyacinth writes
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Part IX: if this is the path I must trudge. I'll welcome my sentence, give you my penance, jailer, jury and judge. - "Her sweet kiss"
Pairing: Astarion x Reader. This is set in Act I.
Tags: fluff I guess ....lots of talking.
Part I. Crowned light moon of mine - I found you too soon
Part II : Lace your heart with mine Let your sleeping soul take flight
Part III : maybe tonight I'll rest in peace.
Part IV : There is more to do and I still want to live.
Part V : our futures bound, our bodies known.
Part VI: These ain't my sins. I broke my chains.
Part VII: You are not mine and am I truly yours.
Part VIII : Your blood like wine, invites me in.
Part X : I can't go yet, don't let me die
______________________
After the long rest, starting from camp, into battle, Astarion was always around you. "Hello beautiful", "yes my sweet" ..."I did miss that face" .... Whether you were by yourself or with others, he seemed to be where you were. Sitting with his arms around your shoulders during the short rests. Bringing an extra piece of camp supply during supper.
It was all very... unsettling.
He wouldn't leave your side during combat. Nor after. After a while, it was becoming very obvious to everyone. You felt a knot in your stomach dreading the time you would have to confront others about his erratic behavior. Especially... shadowheart. Dammit. You should have had a chat with him. You felt angry.
You let yourself be swayed by lust ...
You were oiling you weapon at camp when Karlach approached you. "What's going on with Astarion?". You braced yourself, for the inevitable. "He seems...
infatuated with you! Because we thought he was enamored with... Her..." She gestured quietly towards Shadowheart a bit away.
You paused what you were doing.
But you dared not look her in the eye. Karlach was trying to look out for you. You knew. So why did you feel like the villain here. "Karlach....I ..." You started. Racking your brain... "You see..." Your pulse quickened. As your hands were trembled, you dropped the bottle of oil in your hand, and while trying to catch it, you cut yourself on your blade.
Blood...
"What's wrong, my love!! Are you alright?!" Astarion came running towards you. He knelt down to look at the wound. That's dangerous you thought....blood in front of Astarion....you couldn't predict what he would do! His alarming voice had attracted the folks nearby who all looked at you now. Your heart was racing.
Shadowheart was looking your way.
You dropped your head down and quickly tended to your wound. "Let me see, my sweet". Astarion took you hand. "No. Astarion....not now. " You withdrew. Everyone was looking at you. Expecting an explanation or so you thought. Were you just guilty? Perhaps they were just concerned ...
"Enough. What's going on with you two"
Karlach now demanded. Her arms crossed, frowning. "If there is something the party should know ...maybe you should let us, your friends know, " her voice softened. "Don't you think". You felt your tears coming up again. You felt a traitor to them. You clenched your hands right. Do you...tell them? That you ...that you love him?
Astarion stood up.
"Well, there is no easy way to do this. It was bound to happen sooner rather than later. This is as good a time as any. I... I have a secret. That I have been keeping from all of you. You see...I'm a ...vampire" Silence...you couldn't see their faces. You didn't know how they took it. But in that instant, you felt, grateful to Astarion. He took the worst of it for you.
You admired his bravery.
Knowing full well, he could be killed right there. "A vampire among us!!" Laezel was the first to break the silence. "But of course, the signs were all there" followed Gale. "I never thought I would see the day!! " Chimed Wyll. They took it surprisingly well, you thought to yourself, still looking at the ground.
"I better not wake up with holes in my neck"
Seemed to be the next thing everyone was eager to clarify. Shadowheart was the only one quiet. "Well ...that was quite the revelation. And I personally don't care what you are, Astarion. I am not afraid of you". Said Karlach, her voice reassuring. "But what I am most curious to know, is what our leader thinks of having you in our party".
You could feel all eyes on you.
"What do you think, captain?" She asked.
Suddenly, you remembered who you were, to these people gathered around....you felt your heart settle. Your pulse quieten. Your strength returned. They were all looking at you...for guidance. You promised to lead them to salvation after all. Yes, that's what you were...to them.
You stood up and faced them.
But before you could say anything... Astarion cut you off. "Oh....she knows. She was the first person....that I confessed to. And...for the record, it was me...who asked her to keep it a secret. Because...I was afraid...of well ...torches and pitchforks....you know, the usual" he tried to make light of his fear.
"You have known about it?!"
Everyone was surprised. All eyes were on you again. But you didn't care. You stood in your power. You authority was granted to you by them. "I have. And I did indeed to keep his secret. Because he promised me, he would never hurt any of you. And I think it's safe to say, he is a man of his word". You looked at him. He was shaken, scared...but he wouldn't admit it. "I decided that he can travel with us, provided he kept his fangs to himself. Only feed on animals, or bandits. Or ask ... Before he bit us".
You wanted to lend him your strength.
He shall receive sanctuary through your authority. You nodded at him. He let out a sigh. Of relief. "Thank you. All of you...and yes I promise. I shall not hurt any of you...without asking.". You looked at everyone. They seemed, relieved too. The initial shock had subsided. "Captain has been gracious enough to allow me to feed on her when I really needed it. "
What?
You flipped your head back at him. You fool! What have you done! You told them. You heard them gasp, audibly! "Is that why you have been so tired every now and then?! " Asked Gale. Perceptive. You grimaced, looking away. If only looks could kill, you gave Astarion a hard stare and turned to face them. "I can't ...turn someone away if they need my help". You said, honestly.
"So...." Shadowheart spoke for the first time....
"So....You have been laying with me, but going to captain....for ....blood" everyone perhaps anticipated this. You looked away. You hated yourself for having facilitated that. It wasn't entirely your doing, but you felt a traitor all the same. Your heart raced again. That dread, that knot in your chest...came back.
She turned and left.
You looked at Astarion. Shocked and fixed in his spot. What did he think would happen. "Don't you need to go after her?" You asked, annoyed. He didn't look at you..hesitating. Then slowly left to follow her.
What a mess.
Part X : I can't go yet don't let me die
#astarion romance#astarion x reader#astarion x tav#astarion bg3#astarion angst#baldurs gate 3#fanfic#fluff#vampire#astarion fanfic
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— again and again (a teaser) ⟢
pairing: mingyu x reader
summary: your mother calls one day, asking if you’re bringing mingyu along for chuseok this year. in your panic, you end up giving her an affirmative—never mind the fact that you and mingyu have stopped seeing each other over half a year ago.
word count: 1.7k words
tags: exes, fake dating, pining, idol!gyu, vet!reader, mild angst, fluff, smut (in later scenes; the teaser is completely sfw)
warnings: some medical jargon, mentions of shots (for pets)
notes: omg this is so long for a teaser, but it's fine LMAO i'll be away this weekend, so i thought i'd treat you guys to a little something i'm currently working on ^__^ i hope you like it!
When you hear the telltale ring as the call connects to its intended recipient, you wonder why you even considered this idea in the first place. Not to mention, you’re getting a nasty case of phone call anxiety—one that you haven’t felt in god knows how long. Maybe it’s because of the identity of the person you’re calling that your nerves are all over the place.
In fact, you’re not sure if he’s even going to answer. There are a million and a half reasons why famous superstar Kim Mingyu won’t be able to pick up your call. He could be shooting for a music video or some fashion magazine. He could be in the middle of an interview. Or he could be out spending time with his members like tends to these days if his recent Instagram posts are anything to go by.
But you try anyway because your mother sounded so hopeful in the phone call you just hung up on five minutes ago (The rice wine he got for us last Christmas was splendid! He’ll bring some again for Chuseok, won’t he?), that you just didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth.
So, because you can’t take back the pretty white lies you uttered (Uh, of course he will. Gyu told me he missed everyone back at home, too. Especially Namja), you’re attempting to rope Mingyu into the charade even if the odds are against you.
The first call doesn’t go through. Neither does the second.
By your third try, you’re about to accept the fact that you’re going to have to make some due corrections to what you told your mother until you hear a groggy, “Hello?” on the other line.
You nearly fall off your seat at the throaty sound of Mingyu’s voice, but you’d rather not get weird looks from your receptionist, so you breathe in as deeply (and quietly) as you can before mustering a smile that he won’t even be able to see.
“Hey, Mingyu, it’s me,” you begin, a bit proud of how your voice didn’t even falter. “It’s been a while. Did I catch you at a bad time?”
He doesn’t respond for a while, and the prolonged silence makes you bite the inside of your cheek. Did the call fall through? Did he not hear what you said? But just when you’re about to repeat the words—
“Kind of,” Mingyu grumbles, and you try not to think about how sexy his morning voice sounds despite it being two in the afternoon. “We finished taping a variety show today and I figured I’d get some sleep. It’s midnight right now.”
Well that’s news to you.
“Oh. You’re not in Korea?”
“Nah. We’re in New York for some brand collaborations,” he says, and you hear some rustling in the background, followed by a yawn. “Though I doubt you’ve been keeping tabs on us.”
Okay, he doesn’t have to call you out like that.
Sure, you still catch posts from Mingyu, as well as the other twelve members of SEVENTEEN from time to time, but…after breaking up with him (on good terms, promise!), you thought it’s best if you didn’t see too much of them anymore. The block and mute buttons are your best friends, and while you didn’t use them on the members directly, gossip outlets were your regular targets.
So to speak, it’s been a peaceful six months since your break up with Mingyu.
Until now.
“Do you need something?” he asks, and you realize you didn’t respond to what he said last. “Whatever it is, I might not be able to help you out right away. We’re holed up here until next month.”
Well…that’s all the confirmation you needed.
“I see,” you sigh, trying not to sound too disappointed. “It’s— It’s okay.”
“So you do need something,” Mingyu points out, voice much clearer now than it was two minutes ago. Like he was more awake. “What is it?”
“Nothing you should worry about, Gyu,” you reassure before making a face, not realizing how easily the old nickname just slipped out. “I’m sorry for waking you up. You should go back to—”
The sound of him whining at the other end sends another rush of vertigo through your entire being. “Come on, I’m awake anyways right? You know how hard it is for me to fall asleep again.”
“If I’d known we weren’t in the same continent, I wouldn’t have called altogether,” you say before quaintly adding, “Shit. This counts as an international call, doesn’t it?”
There’s someone else in the room with him, you think—a quiet drawl of Mingyu-hyung, what time is it? You immediately recognize it as Seungkwan.
“Five minutes from midnight,” Mingyu says, and Seungkwan asks another question that you aren’t able to catch. “Who am I talking to? Bookkeu and Bobpul’s worst enemy.”
“Hey!” You scowl at him. “They never even whined when you and Seungkwan brought them to me for their shots!”
“Noona? Why are you calling this guy?” Seungkwan says a bit more loudly for you to hear. “Didn’t you dump him already? Good choice, by the way.”
This time it’s Mingyu’s turn to utter out a semi-offended, “Hey! Mind your own business, Seungkwan-ah.”
A few minutes of bickering with his dongsaeng later, you figure that Mingyu must’ve gone outside of their hotel room for some privacy. You can vaguely hear the sound of the wind blowing on his end before he heaves a deep sigh.
“Sorry about that.” He coughs awkwardly. “Anyway, if you’re not going to tell me about what you needed help with, how are you? Is the clinic doing well? Did your receptionist finally ditch her shitty boyfriend? Does that one guy with a husky still hit on you?”
You’re a little overwhelmed by the sudden influx of questions. Last you checked, you haven’t spoken to Mingyu since you greeted him on his birthday over a quick text message. But then again, your ex does have a talent for completely ignoring the time that exists in between interactions. Mingyu’s always been amicable for conversation, idol or not, boyfriend or not.
The mere thought that he hasn’t changed at all makes your heart ache in more ways than one.
You manage a quiet laugh. “I’m fine. The clinic’s fine. Chae has a new boyfriend now. He even helps us sort out new products on the shelves sometimes.”
At the mention of her name, your receptionist whips her head in your direction, one brow raised. You shake your head with a smile, gesturing that this is nothing she should even be remotely concerned about.
It’s just Mingyu after all.
“Okay, how about the guy who—”
“I turned him down when he asked me out for lunch last week.”
He whistles. “Ouch. And he’s been trying to get with you all this time.”
“I don’t usually date my clients, you know.”
“Yeah? I must be special then.”
Then comes the silence—so thick, you can cut through it with a knife.
“Uh, so I have a patient coming in an hour for a castration procedure,” you tell him a bit awkwardly. “Gotta prepare everything before the owner arrives.”
Mingyu sighs, and you can almost imagine him pouting. “You’re really not gonna tell me? I can still help you with whatever you need even when I’m out here. Unless it requires me to, you know, physically be there.”
You chuckle. “That’s the thing, Gyu. You can’t help me because I need you to actually be here.”
“Oh. Why? What for?”
You inhale sharp breath through your nose, closing your eyes as your face warms with embarrassment. Chae is definitely looking at you funnily from her station now, but you tell yourself not to give it too much thought.
“Mom asked if I was bringing you with me for Chuseok,” you admit. “I haven’t been home since Christmas, so… They kind of have no idea that we aren’t together anymore.”
Mingyu falls silent for a while yet again, and you realize that your anxiousness spikes whenever he isn’t talking like there’s no tomorrow. You wonder if he’s figured out what you’re trying to insinuate and is silently berating you for the lapse in judgment. But when Mingyu bursts out laughing on the other end, you suddenly don't mind being on the receiving end of his silence after all.
“No way,” he gasps between chuckles. “You were going to ask me to pretend to be your boyfriend over the holidays, weren’t you?! One of the fans wrote a story about the exact same thing once, except it’s between me and Wonwoo-hyung. It was in English though, but Vernon translated it pretty well.”
…Kim Mingyu admitting to reading fanfiction about himself and Wonwoo aside, you groan. “What am I supposed to do? My family loves you. I’d rather not dampen the Chuseok spirit by saying their favorite son has unfortunately made his unannounced exit half a year ago.”
“So you’re willing to pretend we’re still together just to keep them happy?”
“Well, yeah. It’s not like you’re an ex I should be ashamed of, Gyu.”
“Because I’m an idol that millions are vying for?”
You roll your eyes. “No. It’s because out of all my exes, you’re the only one that Namja actually likes. That’s pretty much the highest honor you can receive in your entire life.”
Your heart does a little flip when Mingyu barks out another light-hearted laugh. You tell yourself that you’re only reacting that way because…it has been a while since you talked to him. That, and Mingyu was always so smiley whenever you brought up your ten year-old retriever.
“Point taken,” he says. “I’d totally be down to help you out, but…yeah.”
“I knew you would be,” you reply, a sad smile ghosting your features. “That’s why I called.”
Silence settles over the line once again, but it’s, by no means, awkward. It’s more…sentimental. Like two old friends reminiscing about the good memories you shared.
Huh. You’re friends with Mingyu…
“Anyway, thanks for catching up with me, Mingyu,” you tell him before you end up saying something you’re not supposed to. “I’ll get going now. Good night.”
“Hey—”
You end the call before he can have the chance to make you falter.
end notes: like the teaser so far? leave a reply if you haven't filled out my taglist form yet and would like to be tagged once the full story is up!
edit: the full fic is up here!
#seventeen fanfic#seventeen smut#svt fanfic#svt smut#kim mingyu#seventeen mingyu#mingyu#mingyu x reader#seventeen x reader#lovelyhan
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FRIENDS? FRIENDS.
percy jackson x annabeth chase blurb
warnings: none, just some pre-percabeth cuteness! some minor spoilers for the TV show & the books but nothing major or all that important
note: percy & annabeth will forever have a place in my heart. I'd love to write more little drabbles of them! feel free to send it any requests! I'll also write for other character (but keep in mind I am just now reading the House of Hades so I haven't reached the end of the heroes of olympus series yet). also, please use your imagination a little as to where this would fit it post the lightening thief quest lol.
...
Moonlight reflected off the steady water, bringing a sense of peace to Percy as he dangled his feet off the edge of the pier. He traced patterns in the wood grooves and attempted to clear his head which hadn’t stopped spinning since he arrived at camp.
He should have been more alert, but he missed the series of footsteps that crept up on him until he felt a presence at his back.
Percy jumped, startled, and reflectively reached for Riptide.
“Hey,” Annabeth greeted, instantly disarming Percy. He let out a sigh of relief and dropped his hand back onto the pier.
“Hi.”
She looked wide awake despite the late hour. All of the other campers were asleep or tucked away inside their cabins. Percy had spent the better part of a couple of hours tossing and turning until he gave up trying to sleep and wandered out toward the lake, the only place at camp where he felt the most at ease.
It looked like Annabeth was in the same boat as him. Instead of her usual orange camp shirt and cargo pants, she wore a matching, soft pink sweatshirt and sweatpants. Little hearts were embroidered on the front pockets of the sweats and the neckline of sweatshirt.
With a light smirk, Percy said, “Nice PJs.”
She rolled her eyes in typical fashion and moved beside him before she took a seat. Annabeth sat close enough that her arm brushed against his. Percy didn’t know if she meant to sit that close, but she didn’t move away. She stayed with her arm nearly resting up against his and dangled her feet over the edge of the pier.
“They were a gift from the Aphrodite Cabin,” she said, rubbing her thumb over the little hearts on her collar with a small smile on her lips. “They help my bunkmate, Veronica, with my braids.”
Percy hummed in response before he said, “You look like you belong in their cabin.” He didn’t quite realize what he said until the words left his lips and his cheeks heated up instantly in embarrassment; however, he didn’t get the chance to say anything before Annabeth did.
“Are you calling me beautiful, Seaweed Brain?”
Percy silently thanked the gods it was dark on the pier and that Annabeth couldn’t see the red hue of his cheeks. He cleared his throat and shook his head. “No! I mean, that’s not what…not that you’re ugly…oh jeez.” Ducking his head, Percy contemplated throwing himself off the pier.
Annabeth was cool and she obviously was cool looking. It wouldn't have been a shocker if she had been claimed by Aphrodite, but because of her wicked brain and the fact that she was always six steps ahead of everyone, Athena made more sense. Athena was probably cool looking too; she was a goddess after all. Everyone in the Aphrodite Cabin was also cool looking because their mother was known for being the most beautiful goddess of all, or whatever, but they were no Annabeth.
A belly laugh erupted from her throat and echoed through the quiet air, taking Percy by surprise. She slapped her hand over her stomach and threw her head back as she managed to say between laughs, “You should see your face right now!” Percy couldn’t help but smile sheepishly.
Once her laughter subsided, she shook her head. “I’m just teasing you.”
“Very funny,” said Percy, desperate to change the subject. “What’re you doing out here, anyway?”
“I couldn’t sleep,” she replied. “You?”
Percy had gotten used to his mind racing and almost never turning off, but after they returned from their quest and he finally had a second to think over everything that had happened since learning he was a half-blood, his brain was in overdrive. There were a million more questions he had but was slightly scared to get answered. He needed to sleep off their quest, but every time he closed his eyes, he was bombarded with visions that made little sense and unsettling memories of every time he, Annabeth, and Grover nearly died over the course of one week.
“I just needed somewhere to think,” he answered.
Humming in response, they let their conversation drift off into comfortable silence for a couple of moments.
Percy wondered if her mind was also swarmed with too many thoughts, memories, and questions. It seemed unlikely, Annabeth having questions. If there was one thing he learned about her from their time together, it was that she knew the answer to nearly everything, and if she didn’t know the answer, she would figure it out before anyone else.
“Percy?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something?”
He furrowed his brows and turned his head to look at her. “Uh, sure.”
“You remember when we were at Meduas’ and you were telling Grover and me about the prophecy the Oracle gave you?” He nodded, urging her to continue. “You said that you only picked me for the quest because you couldn’t see us ever becoming friends.” Her voice had become a lot softer than normal, which freaked Percy out. A part of him wanted her to insult him or start bickering with him instead. The small but noticeable twinge of sadness in her voice and the frown that rested on her lips twisted up his stomach in a really weird and uncomfortable way.
“Do you still feel that way?”
“Are you insane?” he asked, wide-eyed and confused. She simply shrugged and kept her gaze set on the rippling water ahead of them. “No. No way. I didn’t even fully feel that way I said it. I was just really worried about the Oracle and really, really confused.”
She met his gaze and narrowed her eyes slightly, not believing him.
“Okay, I guess I meant it a little but only because you were intense and I didn’t think you would’ve wanted to be friends with me, especially after you left me to fight Clarrise alone and then shoved me into the lake.”
“I needed proof that you were who I thought you were,” Annabeth defended, causing him to smile lightly.
“Yeah, and it worked. My dad claimed me because you didn’t really give him a choice.”
“I think the words you’re looking for is ‘thank you.’” There was a beat before she sighed and backtracked a little, even though Percy wasn't upset at her for it. He understood why she did it, and who knows when or if his dad would have claimed him if she hadn't. “Sorry. I maybe could have helped you a little or not pushed you so hard.”
With a wave of his hand, he dismissed her. “Nah, I get it. It did help, and you got to go on your quest. But then we kind of fought at the beginning and I figured you really didn’t like me.”
Annabeth moved her hands into her lap and picked at the skin around her fingernails, almost like she was nervous, which seemed unlikely. Maybe Percy was just really bad at reading people. Annabeth seemed good at it, though. She was kind of like Grover in that way; she could sense danger or a problem before it appeared.
“Though, I kinda got the idea that maybe you didn’t totally hate me by the end of the quest.”
She shrugged again, but her frown disappeared. “Maybe I don’t.”
“Cool,” he smiled until he realized maybe he was smiling a little too big and he needed to chill out. “Because, you know, if I have to go on another quest, I would…well, I’d probably pick you again.”
Annabeth moved to look at him. “Probably?”
“Definitely, actually.”
That got her to smile, and Percy felt himself relax. “I’d pick you too,” she said before quickly adding, “As long as I’m still in charge.”
Percy put his hand to his forehead in a mock salute. He was not going to argue with her, not after she was the main reason they didn’t die on their quest.
A yawn escaped Annabeth that she tried to muffle under the sleeve of her pink sweatshirt. The night had caught up to him too, and the fatigue of the past week settled in his bones. He rolled his shoulders back with a stretch before he stood to his feet.
Outstretching a hand toward her, Percy said, “We should head back.”
She didn’t hesitate to grab his hand and let him help her up. Her hand was really warm compared to his cold one, and he held it just for a second longer after she was standing up. Annabeth cleared her throat and tucked her hands into the pocket of her sweatshirt before she led the way off the pier.
Together they walked the footpath back to the cabins, listening to the croak of the frogs around the lake fade and the buzz of crickets grow louder.
They arrived at Percy’s cabin first. Annabeth paused alongside him and offered him another smile as she said, “Night, Percy.”
He grinned. “Night, Annabeth.”
She turned on her heel and started walking toward her cabin, still with her hands in her pockets and her head held high.
Friends. That was nice. He had another real friend that he trusted and who trusted him. If nothing else went right for him, at least he had that. Maybe that was all he really needed to survive as a Half-Blood. Maybe he would be okay.
#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#percabeth fanfic#percy jackson x annabeth chase#pjo fanfic#izzy’s library
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Lou I come once more with Ghoul thoughts ™️
I saw a post a while ago about giving Aurora angst, and I can't stop thinking about it. Freshly summoned Aurora being pushed to the side, sort of forgotten as the pack dotes on Phantom, because they're the new quint. Of course they're more important than her, why should she complain? But it gets lonely for her, not being able to bond with the ghoul she was summoned alongside because they're put on such a pedestal away from her by the rest of the pack. It gets worse on tour, not being able to fully bond with anyone because of how busy they all are.
Idk, lonely Aurora.
hello moon! I found Stardew valley a couple days ago and well, you know. been MIA
I saw the post, too! I'll be honest, I don't really care for the "pack forgets phantom" trope too much, maybe because i see it all the time at this point, but it's a good point to bring up!
Aurora being taught the basics of earth and then just being forgotten. She's a multi, the pack figured, and Sunshine and Swiss were independent when they were summoned; both actually preferred to be by themselves, so why wouldn't Aurora want that space? But she doesn't know that about them, so she really is just casted to the side.
Aurora, crying into the dark of her room while the rest of the pack is sleeping peacefully. Because she's apparently nothing while perfect Phantom gets everything. It's infuriating. It's devastating.
Aurora, eyes down to her plate quietly during breakfast. they only ask her the pleasantries- "How'd you sleep?" "Good." "mmm." before going about the morning.
Aurora, who has to lie through her teeth when Papa questions her. Who has to tell Papa that "yes, Papa, they treat me well. I am learning well, and am getting along with everyone."
Aurora, who decides it's because of her multi-ness. She's a jack of all trades but master at none, why on hell's green earth would they want such a ghoul as herself? But they love Swiss, and they speak so highly of Sunshine, her predecessor. What makes her different?
Aurora, fully breaking down in the middle of her room one night because she sees herself in the mirror, eyes darkened and emotions vacant. She knows this isn't her. She's been made into nothing, and who's fault is it, really? She doesn't know who to feel angrier at; herself or her pack. No, not her pack. They never were
... Aurora, not hearing the door open over her wails until the soft hand of Cumulus' is on her back.
Aurora, suddenly surrounded by multiple members of the pack in the middle of her room; Cumulus, Cirrus, Rain, Mountain. Phantom.
Aurora, confused and relieved but still so angry, as the pack members pour their heart out to her and ask for her forgiveness, as if she's transcendent enough to give it. As if she could trust them.
Phantom, taking hold of her balled up fist and lifting it up to their forehead. she knows of this gesture; it's acceptance, peace, a million "I love you's" in one motion. She breaks into a million pieces in their hands.
Aurora, days later, still wary of the pack but trying to make amends. Going with Sunshine to her first real practice. Sunshine, who had no idea what was happening until days ago, immediately took to protecting her. Aurora found it funny.
Aurora, weeks later, laughing at Swiss being so obliviously head over heels for her. Aurora, who sleeps and cuddles with Phantom nearly everyday. Aurora, who blushes when Mountain kisses her knuckles in greeting. Aurora, who purrs in comfort when all the ghoulettes dote over her.
Aurora, months later, in the first group huddle right before a show, casting her eyes over to Papa and seeing him beam at her. Aurora, who finally got her acceptance.
#i did not mean for this to get long#o well#also wrote this on my phone#lou answers#lou writes#nameless ghouls#the band ghost#aurora ghoulette#phantom ghoul
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⋆｡°✩Shadow & Bone Masterlist✩°｡⋆
I take requests, hit me up if you wanna.
Number Of Requests Currently In Drafts/WIP: 36
Tolya Yul Bataar
Everyone's Fate Is Up To The Saints, Except Hers
Saints Or High Water
Maybe He Was All Blessings
By Stars
Keep You Near
Amateur Poetry
I Heard It In The Silence
One Bed
Safe With Him
Place Your Bets
Pay Your Debts
To Willingly Belong To Anyone Is A Rare Thing
In Times Of War
More Than Enough For Me
Tell Me Everything, And Then Tell Me Again
Find Your Way Back
Catch Me
Follow Your Arrow
Protecting You Is All I Know
The Bells
Miss Me?
Never Straying Far
Without You
All The Things I'll Never Say
All The Small Things That You Do
Restless
Keep Me Like A Prayer
Home Coming
On Platonic Love
Like A Drum
If All The Saints Allow
No Peaceful End In Sight
The Gentle Sound Of All That Is Right
Almosts / Almosts Part 2
Hold Onto Me
The Healing Of Power Of A Heart
Between Classes And The Bell AU Series
Even In Death
One In The Same
Held Together By Wool And Wanting
When You Wake Beside Me
In Wars Wake
Unburdened By You
If It's You Or The World, I Am Still Choosing You
UnLost
I'll Love You Anyway
I Know All The Steps, You Still Surprised Me
Softer Words No Poet Spoke
No Distance You Could Travel- Coming Soon
Head Above Water - Coming Soon
Tamar Kir Bataar
One Bed
Bruises
You Cannot Push Me Away
Cure Your Ills
All The Softer Parts Of You And I
Heart To Heart
Nikolai Lantsov
Better Late Than Never
Better Late Than Never Part 2
Tonight, Forever, Then, Here And Now
No Rest For The Wicked
Compass Of Pirates
One Bed
Metal Preserved Broken Promises
Dreams Of You
On The Rocks
Twist The Knife (In Deeper)
Appearances Aren't Everything - Coming Soon
Worth It All - Coming Soon
Every Foolish Thing - Coming Soon
Match Your Pace - Coming Soon
Alina Starkov
Love Alone Won't Win The War, But What If We Tried Anyway
Zoya Nazyalensky
The Oath I Intend To Keep
The Crows
Jesper Fahey
It's All Bad Choices From Here On Up Baby
Making Choices
Bottom Of The Barrel, And The Bottle
Shoot From The Hip
Don't Like Sleep, But We Like Sleeping In
Bringing A Knife To A Gun Fight
Sober Up
Sweat Bullets
For One Last Good Night With You
Make It A Double - Coming Soon
Nina Zenik
Couldn't Love Anybody Else
Eat, Drink, And Be Merry (For Tomorrow We Die)
Bedside Manner Isn't My Strong Suit, But I'll Try For You
Wylan Van Eck/Hendriks
Your Life Over Mine
Something About Timing
Comfort In Compassion
Fever Pitch
Light The Fuse - Coming Soon
Gunpowder And Lead - Coming Soon
Kaz Brekker
Get Out Of Ketterdam, Damn You
This Action Echos
Walk Away, Take My Heart With You
Leave Me With Ghosts
Small Sentiments
Diminishing Returns
Inej Ghafa
A Place For Me / A Place For Me Part 2 - Coming Soon
Tight Rope - Coming Soon
Matthias Helvar
How Do I Do This?
This Action Echos
I Didn't Ask To Have These Feelings For You
In His Arms / In His Arms Part 2
Wars Were Waged For Less Honourable Things Than Love
No Fault Of Hers
Bedside Manner Isn't My Strong Suit, But I'll Try For You
No Souls To Save - Coming Soon
#shadow and bone#grishaverse#tolya#tolya x reader#tolya yul bataar#six of crows#tolya and tamar#nikolai lantsov#tamar kir bataar#tamar kir bataar x reader#tolya my darling i adore you#fluff#angst#light angst#one bed trope#masterlist#sturmhond x reader#kaz brekker#inej gafha#nina zenik#wylan van eck#wylan hendriks#matthias helvar#jesper fahey#inej ghafa
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Hey bestie! Oh my god I saw you’re taking requests for Wednesday, sooo I was wondering if you could write a Wednesday x reader where r is enid’s sibling, maybe they keep ‘bothering’ wednesday with smalltalk, chatting, etc (basically, they’re down bad but even they don’t know it) until enid basically tells them they need to ask her out or she’ll tell Wednesday for them. Thank you so so much, sorry if this sounds insane it’s literally 1 am and I need sleep. Anyway, have a fabulous day!
The way I literally ran to my drafts so I could get started working on this asap- you always have such good ideas, thank you for sending this in ily ❣❣
The Other Sinclair (Wednesday Addams x reader)
Warnings: reader is a huge simp, Enid is the perfect wingman (wingwolf? Is that even a thing?), Wednesday is oddly sentimental, basically you're all just huge dorks
As soon as Wednesday found out Enid had a sibling she knew there was no way she'd ever get peace again.
To say you were bothersome was an understatement. Often times Wednesday wished you and your sister weren't so close, because maybe then you wouldn't constantly be hanging around when it was least welcomed (which, Wednesday being Wednesday, was pretty much all the time).
You would visit her every single day, bringing your constant cheerfulness with you as though it was the only thing keeping you alive. Wednesday saw it to be quite the opposite; the mere thought of you and your never fading smile was enough to make her hair stand on end while she broke out in a cold sweat, and not in a good way.
The only times she got any peace was when Enid decided to leave and visit you in your room instead. In fact, it was during one of those very visits that she spoke to you about something you'd been cleverly hiding for quite some time: the crush you had on Wednesday. Although if we're being completely honest here, you clearly didn't hide it as well as you thought if Enid knew about it.
"Come on, you have to tell her!" Enid insisted, trying her best to convince you.
"There's no way that's ever going to happen," you replied, crossing your arms over your chest. "Wednesday actively dislikes everyone, and I'm no different from the rest of them."
"I simply refuse to believe that's true. I mean, come on, the way she looks at you-"
"-is with the same glare that she gives everyone else. Face it, Enid, Wednesday wants nothing to do with me."
"If she wanted nothing to do with you, then she would have verbally eviscerated you a long time ago. I know that's what she did to me," Enid mumbled under her breath. "You'll never know until you ask. Plus, if you don't fess up and admit your feelings, I'm just gonna go ahead and tell her myself, so..."
"Wha-? Enid, you can't do that!" You all but screech, grabbing ahold of her shoulders in an effort to both convince her otherwise and ground yourself.
"Look, I don't want it to have to come to that, but I will if I have to. Now, promise me you'll talk to Wednesday as soon as we get back." Enid raised her eyebrows at you, almost in a threatening manner.
"Okay, fine," you conceded, letting go of her. "I'll give it a shot."
"Wonderful!" Your sister joyfully cried out, clapping her hands together swiftly while jumping up and down. "Now, let's work on what you're going to say."
Meanwhile, back in Ophelia Hall, Wednesday was experiencing an intense session of writer's block. As much as she wanted to be writing, she couldn't help but wonder what you were doing instead.
She didn't understand it; the hold you had on her was unnatural, but not necessarily uninviting. She often found herself thinking about the way you laughed whenever Enid told one of her horrible jokes, and how you always greeted Thing whenever you arrived.
Not to mention you always asked how her day was, even if you knew the answer was going to be something along the lines of 'pure torture'. In fact, any time you bumped into her on Nevermore's campus you actually looked happy to see her, and were never polite simply for the sake of it.
Wednesday was beginning to feel things she'd never felt before, and it made her quite unsure of herself. And if there was one thing Wednesday hated, it was being unsure of herself.
Could it be... was this love?
She'd heard other people talk about it- how their hands would get abnormally sweaty and they'd begin to suffer from heart palpitations- but she'd never felt it first hand, and it was a rather strange feeling that was quite difficult for her to place as she had never experienced it before.
Even after having it described to her by her parents about how they fell in love at a young age multiple times, she still had no idea just how it happened and what it felt like. In fact, if anything, having heard of Morticia and Gomez's own romantic romps from their youth did nothing but further confirm what Wednesday was quite certain of: falling in love was nothing but a gigantic waste of time.
And yet, there she was; she could practically feel her pulse quicken by the second at the mere thought of you.
Just then, the door opened, and in skipped Enid, with you in tow. You weren't feeling like your usual cheery self at that moment, and you were certain you couldn't be looking like it either.
"Heya, Wednesday!" Enid delightfully greeted the blank faced girl, who's attention was focused solely on you instead. "My dear sibling here has something they'd like to say to you."
She nudged you with her elbow and gestured towards Wednesday. "Well, go on," she whispered.
The braided brunette raised her eyebrow at your sudden shyness. It usually took her ages to get you to shut up, so this complete 180 in attitude was a shock.
"Um..." you started rather awkwardly. "Well, you see, I- I've liked you for quite some time now, and was just wondering if... if maybe you'd like to accompany me to The Weathervane? This weekend, perhaps?" You asked, your voice barely above a whisper. "I- I completely understand if it's a no, I mean, it is on such short notice-"
"Yes," Wednesday stated as soon as she noticed the hesitation begin to creep through your voice. "I'd like that."
"I- really?" You couldn't hide your excitement at her response, not that you wanted to.
"Of course. If I didn't, I would have said so," she replied curtly. "I expect you to pick me up at 3 pm sharp, and don't be late."
"I- okay," you immediately agreed, a little stunned by her answer. "I'll see you then."
She nodded swiftly before turning her attention back to her typewriter. You turned around to see Enid standing there with the biggest grin you'd ever seen on her, her arms opened wide.
You let her pull you in for a tight hug, embracing her happily. "I can't believe that worked! I mean, she said yes! She actually said yes! We're finally going out, and it's gonna happen this Saturday!"
"I know! I'm so happy for you!" Enid squealed, wrapping her arms around you even tighter. Because you were so preoccupied with your own excitement, you both failed to notice the faintest smirk that had crept its way onto Wednesday's face.
Main masterlist | Wednesday masterlist | wanna be added to my taglist?
🏷 taglist: @anxiously-sad @iloveentrapta @ghot-girl @gilmore-angel @your-next-daydream @alexxavicry
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Unexpected Constellations (Part 13)
Rating: M (18+, Minors DNI)
Word Count: 6.8K
Warnings: The usuals: Angst (obviously), Foul language, I'm not saying anything else but EVERY WARNING IN THE MASTERLIST APPLIES. READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.
A/N: Finally. A chapter I actually like. As per usual, comment on this post or the masterlist to get added to the taglist. I'll put another note at the bottom but for now, get on out there and have fun. xoxo
You spent a full day in Fett’s bacta tank. A full day. Fennec had suggested it, citing that they really had no idea exactly what had been done to you on that starship.
No one knew what they had done to you.
He didn’t know what they had done to you.
What had they done to you?
From the outside you looked alright, apart from a few darker bruises on your knees and legs. But he remembered the way you had thrown yourself at him, the way you had screamed. It was burned so vividly into his mind that—the one time he had tried to rest—the memory of it had sent him gasping into consciousness.
Day had melded into night again, and you still had not woken. Boba had insisted you stay in the guest suite, a spacious and lavish room atop the Daimyo’s palace. The bed was soft, and the sheets were silk, and it was quiet… peaceful. He sat in a chair by the window, looking out over the sand, trying to pretend that he was simply enjoying the view. Not scanning the dunes for possible threats.
Fennec was bringing his meals up into the room so he could eat. Since you were asleep, it wasn’t a breach of the creed if he took his helmet off, right? Truly, it was the very last thing he was worried about.
He wanted to go pick up Grogu, but he couldn’t leave you alone. Wouldn’t. Shand offered to make the run down to Mos Eisley, but he refused. She had done more than enough already. Still, she had sent word to Peli Motto, that everyone was on-planet, and that he would be back as soon as possible. He would be back. Not you. Because there was no guarantee.
Din turned from the window to check on you, even knowing you wouldn’t have moved an inch. You looked serene in sleep, angelic, bathed in the light of three moons.
You left me! YOU LEFT ME!
It seemed to echo around the edges of his mind. His heart palpitated at the memory. Your eyes had been yellow when he found you. The Imps had convinced you that he had gone willingly, sold you off like chattel. What was worse was that you had believed them. The possibility that, in the back of your mind, you still might. It made him nauseous.
He should have made sure you were safe. He should have been honest about how he felt. He should have ensured that you would never question his loyalties. He should have, he should have, he should have. Din fell asleep running through all of the things he should have done but didn’t.
Everything was unfamiliar.
You woke in a large room, the shape of a semicircle, a curved wall of high, arching windows in front of you. They were flung open to let in a breeze, and the linen curtains that flanked them floated like ghosts.
Three moons sat low on the horizon… Tatooine then. You began to piece the past and present back together. Ornate patterned rugs littered the stone floor, a platter of fruit—half-eaten—sat atop a low table at the foot of the bed.
The bed. It was huge, sprawling over at least a third of the back wall. And silky, like a rain cloud. It almost unnerved you, having become so accustomed to the rough padding of the Crest cot.
Luxury. In a place like Tatooine, it could only mean one thing. You were at Fett’s palace.
Safe? You weren’t sure. Was it true, what Shand had said aboard the frigate? What reason would she have had to lie? Credits?
You were still too weak and tired to try another escape plan. Instead, you inventoried the room looking for something, a bread knife perhaps, anything to use if you needed to defend yourself—
He was so still that you hadn’t even noticed him. Slumped in a leather armchair by the window, his helmet had partially lolled to the side. Asleep. You went cold, the breeze suddenly making you shiver.
You inhaled too loudly.
The helmet straightened and he swept the room, a move you knew was a scan for enemies. You felt an electric jolt when he landed on you, frozen in place, unsure whether you should bolt… whether you would even make it to the door before he caught you.
He stood from the chair abruptly, taking one step forward as if in a daze, your name a whisper through the vocoder.
You scrambled away into the headboard.
He reared back as if you had slapped him. The silence in the room was so deafening that it hurt. Din raised both hands and relinquished another step. He stumbled.
“Tell me the truth.” Your voice shook.
“Why do I feel like you won’t believe me.”
“Just tell me.” You were trembling… from the cold and the uncertainty. “Tell me you didn’t—”
“I didn’t. I wouldn’t. I… I couldn’t.” He sounded raw.
You couldn’t trust yourself to be objective. Not with this. Because you believed him. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, you believed him. You cried silent tears.
“Okay.”
He swallowed audibly and you could see the shadow of his Adam’s apple bobbing under the edge of the helmet. But he was still so tense.
He turned and made for the door, taking a wide berth around you as if you were an easily startled creature. “I’ll go. Leave you to rest.”
No.
You found your voice just as he crossed the threshold. “Din, wait.” And he did.
“Please, don’t go. If I wake up again and you’re not here, I’ll think…” You couldn’t say it. “Just stay.”
He stared, unmoving, until it felt as if he had stripped you bare.
“You’re shaking.” You were.
“Just cold.”
“Do you want me to close the windows?” He moved towards the glass panes.
“No!” He jumped slightly at the intensity in your voice. “Sorry. I just… I need to feel the breeze.” But your teeth were starting to chatter.
You could feel sorrow from him. A horrible and tired kind, which twisted at your insides.
He took a few hesitant steps in your direction. “May I?”
You nodded, wiping tears from your eyes. “Please.” The bed dipped as he sat on the side furthest from you.
Warmth. Comfort. It radiated from him like it always had. Your Mandalorian.
Maybe it was silly. Stupid. Maybe you were a fool. But when you breached that distance and wound your arm around his waist, flatting your body against his legs, the tremors eased.
He sighed, fingers finding your hair. Stroking tenderly. And for a moment, everything was fine.
You drifted off once more just as the moons traded skies with the suns.
It was almost midday. Still, you slept.
Fennec had come in at some point to bring breakfast and widened her eyes at the sight: your body wound into Din’s like a stalk of ivy. She had smiled softly at him, and he had nodded once, in acknowledgement and thanks.
Hours passed.
By the time you stirred, stretching like a cat against him, he had figured out his plan.
“What time is it?” Your voice was rough with sleep, eyes still fluttering heavily.
“Not sure, just after sun’s peak.” You hummed in response, taking a deep breath. “You should eat something,” he pressed.
That got your attention. “Have you been eating?” The concern made him smile.
“Yes. I have.”
The stare you fixed him with was one of doubt. He had eaten, just not that much. He hadn’t really been hungry. And he knew you could see right through him.
“Eat with me?” It was more of a statement posed as a question. “I’ll turn around,” you amended.
You didn’t wait for his answer before detangling yourself from the sheets and crawling across the bedspread, reaching for the tray that Shand had left.
Stars, you were gorgeous. He instantly missed the feel of you against him. Oblivious, you turned back, placing the tray, laden with cured meats, cheese, and fruit, on the covers between you.
He reached for the edge of the helmet, sliding it upward.
Your eyes squeezed shut as if you had been burned. “Sorry!” His mouth ticked upward. He’d let you interpret it however you wanted.
You had turned from him, sitting cross-legged on the bed, reaching blindly behind you with one arm to pick things up from the platter.
He laughed lightly, sliding it further toward you. “I can see just fine.” The breeze was pleasant on his face. The view was unbeatable.
“But you have to eat too.” Kriff, you were bossy.
“I will, cyare.”
There was a lapse of silence as you both fed. You were going fast, as if you were starved.
Maybe you were.
He stiffened at the thought. “Take it slow.”
You laughed between mouthfuls. “It’s just really good. Was I in bacta? It always makes me hungrier.”
He didn’t want to know why you knew that. How many times had you been suspended in a tank? Anxiety gripped at him, hard. For more reasons than one. He called your name, trying to sound more assertive than he felt.
“Yeah?”
“I have something I need to show you today.” He shifted uncomfortably, all of a sudden too warm. “To prove myself. And what I said.”
“It’s okay.” Your shoulders had curled in on themselves. “I do believe you, Din.”
“No, but… But I have to show you this. You’ll understand, then. I promise.” Quiet. “I need to know that you don’t doubt me… not even a little.”
You huffed. “I don’t doubt you. If you had half as many credits as they said you did, you’d be on the other side of the galaxy by now. Some swanky penthouse on Coruscant.”
No, he wouldn’t.
He slid the helmet back on, grasping at your hand. It couldn’t wait. “Come with me.”
I felt nice to be back in the Crest, back home, even under such strange conditions. Din was so on edge that even you were getting anxious.
He was bent over a storage compartment in the hull, rifling around in whatever lay below, while you stood there somewhat awkwardly. Finally, he pulled out a wrapped bundle. Placed it on a crate. Cracked his knuckles.
It was about the size of Grogu, covered in an old, faded felt cloth that was pilling in places. It smelled like fire, like smoke.
“What is it?” He almost looked like he was shaking his head. “Din? Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry… okay.” Why was he so nervous?
“When I said I couldn’t leave you behind, I meant it. I couldn’t. By creed, I couldn’t.”
You didn’t know that much about creed rules. Just the basics. He was barely making sense. “I don’t understand—”
“I know. I know because I never told you. Because I was scared.” He paced in a small circle. Stopped. Started again. “That day you went to Canto Bight, I was late.”
Canto Bight? That was days before any of this had happened.
“I was late because I went to Glavis. To the covert.”
“But I thought—”
“I was cast out, I know.” He was being oddly expressive with his hands. “But I spoke to the Armorer. I told her…” He trailed off.
“What?”
Din pushed the package towards you. “It’s probably easier to explain if you just open it.”
His emotions were bordering on panic. You were worried about him. “Din—”
“Please.” It felt like he was begging. He was begging.
Okay. You reached for the edge of the fabric, unwrapping it slowly, listening to its contents clank together. Heavy. Cold. Silver metal with dark swirls.
Beskar. It was beskar. Your jaw just about hit the floor.
“They’re beautiful.” And they were… breathtakingly so. Vambraces, twin to each other, delicate but still imposing. The Armorer’s work had always been exquisite.
He must have been able to read the confusion in your eyes because he grasped one, twisting it in your hold. “Here.” He pointed to a symbol on the inner wrist with shaky hands.
You looked at the horned creature, easily identifiable, and then back at him. “I… I’m sorry. I don’t understand.”
“The Mudhorn... My signet…” Was he meaning to say you were part of his family? That you had been since Canto Bight? It would make sense given the context but—
“It’s the closest my people get to proposal.”
Oh.
Oh.
It was like there had been a stopper on his words and—now that it was out—he could no longer control them.
“To share that symbol… it demonstrates a bond. One that our people don’t take lightly. It’s a promise to protect, to defend. To never leave behind.”
You were in shock. Real, honest shock. You couldn’t even look him in the eyes, instead staring down the gauntlets with blurring vision.
“To love.”
You broke down.
He had you by the shoulders. “Please, tell me you understand. I couldn’t leave you behind. It wasn’t possible.”
You were crying, hysterically. It was too much. To feel this all at once was lethal. You could die from it.
“I love you.” I sounded like he might be crying as well. “Do you understand now?”
You clutched him so tightly, in hopes that there would no longer be any telling where one of you ended and the other began. “Yes. Din, I do.”
You had embraced him with such force that he had stumbled backwards into the hull wall and slid down to the floor, taking you with him. And so you had cried into his armour as he held you, curled together like rose petals.
Your body was shaking with big sobs, but he could tell you were trying to calm down. To keep it together. You kept taking large breaths, as if trying to steel yourself, preparing to say something.
He ran a gloved hand over your back. “What is it?”
You sniffled and pulled away from him. “I have, um…” Tears had wet your cheeks and you wiped at them, eyes swollen and puffy. “I have something to show you too.”
Standing up was hard; he supported your elbow to help you up. You swayed a little, looking at him with a gaze that was a mix of something so deep, it felt as if he was being gutted. Taking unsteady steps to the cot, you reached into it, grabbing your pillow, opening the case, and pulling out a small slip of folded-up paper. ‘Mando’ was written on the front.
“When we landed in Mos Eisley, when I…” When you had almost left. “I wrote you this.” He took it from your outstretched fingers as if it were the most fragile thing in the galaxy.
“But when I decided to stay, I wasn’t… brave enough. So, I hid it.” He was already unfolding the parchment, though his eyes stayed on you.
“Wait,” you gasped. He stilled.
“I can’t… be here when you read it.” You had gone timid, fiddling with your fingers, staring at the floor. “Just…” You backed away, to the ramp. “…come find me when you’re done?”
Din nodded. You practically fled.
Curiosity only allowed him to make it to the cockpit before starting to read, devouring the words with hungry eyes.
Din,
I’m sorry. For all of it. I know that this apology is not nearly enough to cover the damage I’ve caused you, but I hope you will accept it nonetheless. These years with you and Grogu have been the happiest of my life, but they have also made me selfish. I can see that now. I wanted to protect him and I wanted to help you, but the truth is I am just as much of a threat as whatever is out there. Your safety is the most important to me, so please understand why I’m doing this. Please be wary of the crystal, anything the dark side touches is dangerous and should be avoided.
Please don’t come looking for me. I’m sorry. I love you.
He read it once, and then again, and then a third time. And then over again, as many times as it took for each word to be imbedded into his mind forever.
‘…anything the dark side touches is dangerous and should be avoided.’ He knew you weren’t just talking about the crystal. But it was the last line that he dwelled upon the most, as if trying to find some hidden answer in the scrawls of your handwriting.
‘Please don’t come looking for me. I’m sorry. I love you.’ A thousand times he read that line. Insane. It was insane. The whole thing was insane.
He stood so abruptly that the chair swiveled. Boots on durasteel, one in front of the other. Out the cockpit, down the ramp, into the palace. He knew where to find you.
You had taken a shower, trying to calm the nerves, trying to ease the coil in your belly. He had been gone a while. What it meant was a mystery to you.
Fennec had left you clothes, a loose pair of shorts and a soft shirt, and you had put them on with shaky hands. What were you even supposed to do with yourself now? The responsible answer was rest, but there was no way you could go to sleep.
You stared out the window, across the Dune Sea, focused on nothing in particular. The heat of the day was passing, but the room had stayed relatively cool. Small blessings. Some animal tracks stretched across a crest of the sand. Bantha, maybe. You watched aimlessly, willing your mind to go blank.
What had you even said in that letter? You remembered the important parts of course, but what about everything else? Was it the right choice to let him read it? It was the honest truth, all of it, but what if—
Din’s footfalls were so fast and heavy that you whirled on him the moment he crossed the doorframe into the room. Closed the door firmly. Locked it.
And then he was ripping the helmet off, so fast that you saw a sharp jaw, a shadow of stubble before your mind caught up.
“Oh shit.” You squeezed your eyes shut, spun, clapped hands over your face. “Sorry.”
He barely let you finish. “Look at me.”
“No, it’s—”
“Look. At me.” He almost sounded angry. You had no idea what to say. He reached around you, gently grabbed your hands from where they pressed over your eyes. “I want you to look at me.”
Oh kriff, oh fuck, oh shit.
“Are you sure?”
Impatiently, he turned you to face him. “Open your eyes.”
Finally, slowly, you obeyed. Blinked once. Twice.
What the fuck.
Maybe you had said it aloud, because in front of you stood the most beautiful man you had ever seen. The features you had traced before all started to make sense: the hooded eyes, angular nose, chiseled jawline, lowered brows. A divot between them, a smattering of facial hair. But it was his eyes. The irises. The deep warmth of them. Your mouth had parted in awe. You reached out to touch him. He leaned into it.
“Say it.”
Oh, stars.
“I love you,” you exhaled.
He groaned, and then kissed you with such a ferocity that it turned your bones to water.
Fire ignited in your stomach as you kissed him back; his lips were soft, of course, but now you also knew that they were full, and impossibly carnation pink.
He crowded you against the stone wall, hitching your leg up to his waist and pressing you backward. His other hand was at the nape of your neck, cradling, angling so he could deepen the kiss. By the time you broke for air, you were both gasping.
“The letter…” he panted. “…it wouldn’t have mattered. I would have read it and tracked you to the ends of the galaxy.” He dipped his head to the curve of your neck. Placed one kiss there… two. “You wouldn’t have been able to stay hidden from me.”
It was like hyperspace. Like you were hurtling through stars and all you could do was hold on. So you held on to him. Threaded your fingers through his brown curls as he sucked at that sensitive spot just above your shoulder, and as he soothed it with his tongue. Your answering moan was downright lewd.
You couldn’t take it. Couldn’t handle one more moment not feeling his skin on your own. You started pulling at the buckles on his bandolier.
“Do you want—”
You cut him off. “Yes.” It sounded desperate in your own ears. You had freed the belt with clumsy fingers, and it clanked to the stone floor. You wasted no time moving to his armour, the breastplate, the pauldrons. When you freed the cape and the cowl you threw them unceremoniously to the side, lost somewhere amongst the rugs, and pulled him back in for another searing kiss. He was laughing against your lips.
It was hard work, stripping him down to the flight suit, and you had gotten frustrated in the process, pushing him backwards until his calves hit the edge of the bed. He sat back, pulling you with him, into his lap, thighs straddling his own.
“Slow down.” It was tender, teasing.
“No,” you answered, spurring him along with a kiss, catching his lower lip between your teeth and griding down on him at the same time. He gasped into your mouth.
“You don’t play fair.” You swallowed his words, but he leaned backwards, just out of reach. Din cradled your face, tucking a lock back behind your ear. “I want to savour this.”
“What about what I want?” you challenged.
“What do you want? How far do you want to—”
“All of it. Everything.”
“You’re sure?”
You frowned at him. “Din. Please don’t make me ask again.” And then, before you could overthink, you pulled your top over your head.
Whatever he was going to say died on his lips as he looked at you. No, gaped at you. Ran his hands up your sides, then down again. Grasped at your hips. Whispered something sensual in Mando’a that sent heat rushing to your core. Nothing about the scars that littered your chest, abdomen and back. He just leaned in and kissed one atop your breast, a knife wound, and dragged his palms up your back to cradle your shoulder blades.
“I’m dreaming.” It wasn’t a question that he whispered into your chest. “I must be.” Another scar, another kiss. “I dream about this often… about you.” His mouth moved to the valley between your breasts. “This is better though. This one is really good.”
You had to trap his face between your hands and guide it, so his eyes met your own. They had darkened, but still held that warmth of a fresh cup of brewed caf. “You’re not dreaming. Let me prove it to you.”
You moved to the zipper on his flight suit, dragging it down at a leisurely pace that was almost torturous. He wanted slow? You’d give him slow.
Each inch revealed gloriously tanned skin, and the zipper stopped only as a trail of dark hair under his belly button started. You clenched around nothing. He was watching you watch him. Cocky, almost.
Yes, definitely cocky. Because as you were reorganizing your thoughts, Din had tightened his grasp on your waist, and had started to drag you against him, the friction sending fireworks through you. Under any other circumstances, you might have been embarrassed by the sounds you were making. But it was him.
“I could watch you come like this. I like watching you come.” The words were so filthy, yet delivered so innocently. You gasped through parted lips. “Later… one day, I will.” It was a promise.
But instead, he lifted and flipped you expertly. Climbed over you, sliding you up the silk until your head met the pillows. Trailed a hand up your inner thigh, to cup you over your shorts.
Holy shit. How could you find a way to touch all of him at once?
Somewhere in the haze, he had toed his boots off. The only thing that remained was half of the suit, the top of it hanging around his waist. You wanted to scratch lines into his back. You did. And felt his muscles flex under your nails.
Din was kissing down your chest again. Wet, messy kisses, on your clavicle, breasts, stomach, hipbones. Those fucking eyes met yours, crinkling at the outer edges, as he toyed with your waistband.
“Don’t tease me.” You lifted your hips for him.
“Whatever you say, my Alor.” Oh, you knew that one.
“I thought you were the Mand’alor?” It was meant to sound humorous, but it came out strangled instead.
In one fluid movement, he had pulled your shorts and underwear down, off your ankles, tossed them to the side. “I bow to you, don’t I?”
And he did bow, right there on the bed. It was different, being able to see him. How he watched you as his nose disappeared between your thighs. Absolute bliss. You arched into him.
“Stay still.”
“I ca—I can’t.”
“Yes, you can.” He licked a stripe up your center and you almost cried out. “Remember when you first joined me? You were still all the time. Like a statue.” He paused to flick at your clit with his tongue. “Even then, I used to think about you like this. Wondered if I could make you relax like this. I’d think about it when you were sleeping metres away from me.”
You were so wet it was mortifying.
“I used to curse myself for thinking about it.” He eased two fingers into you, holding your stomach down with the other hand. “But then you’d moan in your sleep. Were you dreaming about me? Hmm?”
“Yes. Yes.”
“Good. Good girl.” The praise made you feel divine, like his words had washed away the years of darkness, of bloodshed. You could be good. You could.
But he curled his fingers inside you, and you lost the battle, canting your hips upwards. He was grinning.
“I need you. I need you. I need you.” You said it like a prayer, tugging at him with greedy hands. But he was lost in it, watching his own fingers pump in and out of you. So you did the only thing you could. You pulled him up, flipped him over. You must have used the Force because his dark eyes were now slightly startled.
But it only took him a moment to recover. To bring his hand up and place those two fingers, still coated in you, against your lips. He watched as you licked them clean, then asked: “Don’t you taste good?”
Flustered. You had no answer, mind going fuzzy. So you busied yourself working at his pants, easing them down, over his knees. Oh kriff.
You had wanted to toy with him, tease him the way he had you. But you weren’t so sure anymore. Now, you wanted to feel him inside you. You didn’t speak, didn’t dare even look at him as you lined yourself up, slid down, just the tip.
He had you beneath him again in a split second, pushing in, practically to hilt, the stretch euphoric. You couldn’t stop your eyes from rolling back.
He stilled and you gasped. “What happened to going slow?”
Din whimpered. Actually whimpered.
“I know, Din… I know.” His head had dropped into the crook of your neck and he started moving, slowly but heavily, languid thrusts of his hips into your own. Each push was so deep, so visceral, that you could feel your body, your mind, rearrange to accommodate him.
The suns must have been dipping lower in the sky because the room filled with a heavenly light, bathing him in golden hues. Stars, the drag of him was almost too much to bear. Din’s earlier assertiveness was long gone, replaced with this raw, vulnerable energy. He was inside you, but you were inside of him. And it was beautiful.
Like a still lake, calm, a sunset skies’ warmth reflected in the smooth surface. Sex, desire, a ripple, making way to a tidal wave rolling towards shore. It grew and grew, instinct, fear, loss, insecurity.
His breath was a rasp against your pulse point, movements getting faster, more purposeful. “You…You’re so good.”
Good. He knew what the word meant to you.
‘You’re not evil.’ ‘You’re not a bad person.’ ‘I know you’re not, because you taught me that I wasn’t.’ ‘You don’t ever have to justify that part of yourself. Not to me.’ ‘We’re the same. You and me, remember?’ ‘I love you. Do you understand now?’
You crashed and burned as you came, the feeling so powerful that it brought tears to your eyes. You clutched him so close that he would probably have bruises later, maybe crescent-shaped indents where your nails had dug in.
He shuddered against you, tightening. Stars, you could feel everything, thoughts, feelings, the way he twitched every time you fluttered around him.
“Go on.” You urged him. “Come for me.” That was all it took.
Din lifted up and looked into your eyes. Kissed a tear away and then kissed you, burying himself so deep you swore you could feel him in your chest. He shattered.
There were no words for it, what you felt from him, what you felt for him. Everything else was inconsequential, the galaxy, the wars, light versus dark. This was it.
The two of you had collapsed together for minutes, speechless, just trying to catch breath. When he finally slid from you, you whined pathetically at the emptiness.
Din kissed you again before he rose from the bed. “I know, just let me clean you up.” A reply never came because you were too busy admiring his retreating figure. Wide shoulders, golden skin, narrow waist. You were still gawking at him when he made his way back.
“What?” He knelt beside you.
The lines in his forehead were pronounced. You traced them. “You’re beautiful.” He laughed as if he didn’t believe you, focusing on the task at hand.
You hissed lightly as he dragged a wet cloth over your sensitive skin.
“You okay?” There was real concern in his eyes, and it made you melt.
“Just sore,” you assured him, though that didn’t seem to lessen his worry. “It’s a good kind of sore.” He had the audacity to look bashful.
He was so gentle, wiping you down, discarding the cloth, lifting the sheets, and tucking you into his side. You were still looking at him. His cheeks had gone pink.
“So did you… re-break the creed?” It was your one concern.
“No.” Din smiled. “Well, not really. I guess I never properly asked.”
You propped your elbows under you. “Asked what?”
“About the gauntlets…” He surveyed you with a tender gaze. “Will you accept them?”
Gesturing to the rumpled silk, you asked: “Was this not clear enough for you?”
His head shook slightly, and again you saw that disbelieving stare. You wanted to kiss it away.
“What does that mean for us? By creed, I mean.”
Din’s answer was simple. “That you’re mine. And I’m yours. Riduur, we call it. Perhaps it’s the equivalent of husband or wife, but to Mandalorians, it means more. It’s closer to something more like… like a soulmate.”
Soulmate. “So, you’re my riduur, then?”
There was a stupid smile on his face then. One that made him look younger. “Careful. If you keep calling me that, we won’t make it to dinner.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, riduur.”
You did make it to dinner, barely.
Watching him don the helmet again was like a punch to the gut, made tolerable only by the fact that you knew you could take it off as soon as the door closed again. Any time you wanted. You would never get tired of looking at him.
Since you had left the sanctity of your room, he had intertwined your fingers. A simple gesture, but one that felt magical, nonetheless.
Fennec had met the two of you just outside the kitchens, with a look that was knowing enough to make you shy. “You don’t mind if I borrow her, do you?”
Beside you, Din felt as if he might decline, stiffening slightly and tightening his grip on your hand, but a smile from you had him reluctantly handing you off to Shand.
“We’ll meet you in the dining hall.” It was a sweet dismissal. She beckoned you to follow her into the kitchen, handed you a small bottle.
“It’s a tonic,” she explained. “We have a few bottles brewed, so you can take some when you leave. It’s a monthly thing.”
Oh god. “Thank you, I really appreciate it.” She only nodded in acknowledgement. It was very thoughtful of her. But it left you wondering just how obvious it was, whether even the serving droids knew what had happened upstairs. Oh, maker. But a tonic… it was a good idea.
You hadn’t even given it much thought, which was silly. But because of the stress and exertion and malnourishment of your past, your period had always come infrequently. It had evened out a bit on Sorgan, but it was far from regular. Regardless, if you and Din were going to be having sex, and you hoped you would be—a lot—then you should be taking something just to be safe. The two of you already had a child.
Boba and Din were already sat when you entered, engaging in conversation that seemed to abruptly end as soon as you and Fennec walked in. Interesting. You took a seat next to him, which may have been a mistake, because you could somehow feel the heat radiating off of him. You crossed your legs.
But, it was so nice. To be able to sit around a table with good company and have a meal. Din couldn’t eat, obviously, but had loaded a plate anyway, and would have it upstairs, later. With you.
Multiple times throughout the night you caught him staring, in that way that was identifiable only by a slight shifting of the helmet. But you knew him well enough to catch it. Riduur. Soulmate. The words clung to your psyche, even more as the wine started to go to your head.
You had zoned out from the conversation, replaying the events of the day in your mind. Certain events in particular. Stars, the way he had sounded. The things he had said. He wanted to watch you come? You wanted that too.
Din’s low voice broke your trance.
“Will you excuse us? I’m getting hungry.” The way he said it… the insinuation was clear. Fennec was biting her lip to keep from grinning as Din all but pulled you out of your seat, tray in the other hand. Shell-shocked, you could only trip after him. Boba’s laugh followed you up the stairs.
You were testing him. You were put in this damn galaxy to test him.
He had been watching you, practically all evening, and it was beginning to border on torture. You had kept crossing and uncrossing your legs, squeezing your thighs together, nibbling at your lower lip. You weren’t even paying attention.
He was already hard and it was kriffing insane. Even the minute it took to get back up to the suite felt like forever.
“Din!” you were practically hissing at him. He dumped the platter of food on the low table and collapsed into the armchair, pulling you into his lap.
“Couldn’t even keep it together for one dinner?” He wished he could paint the mortified look on your face. “What was it, hmm? What were you thinking about?”
He dipped a hand into your pants, finding exactly what he expected. “Farrik, you’re fucking soaking.” With one finger, he pressed down on your clit. You slapped a hand over your mouth.
That wouldn’t do. “What was it?” He began to circle, slowly. “Tell me.”
Silence. You were trying, he could tell. “Words, cyare.”
Your upper body gave up, falling into him as you tried to reason through the pleasure. “I was thinking about what you said,” you admitted quietly into his shoulder.
“What did I say?” Faster.
You choked. “That you… that you liked to watch me.”
Din was grinning like an asshole under the helmet.
“While everyone was talking and eating their food… you were thinking about riding me in this chair until you came?”
You couldn’t answer, loosing whiny gasps into his shoulder. He felt drunk. This would never get old.
“You going to let me help you?” Incoherent, you just nodded against him. Good. He stood you up and tugged your pants down. You stepped out of them, all too eager. And you were fucking stunning.
Seeing you earlier in the late afternoon light, completely bare for him, was a religious experience. The scars—he had expected—but they had still struck such a deep chord in him that, for a moment, he had remembered who was tied up in the Rancor pit. And what Din planned to do to him.
You went to straddle him again but he stopped you, instead turning you around and pulling you back, so your spine was flush against his breastplate. The inside light was enough of a contrast that he could see your reflection in the glass of the open windowpane. Perfect. You arched against him impatiently.
He wound one arm around you, just beneath your breasts. “I know. I got you.” I took only the lightest of touches for you to let your head fall back onto his shoulder. From then on, you were absolute putty in his arms, squirming and whining as he toyed and teased. You watched his fingers as they finally plunged into you, but he watched your face.
The way your lips parted in a little ‘o’, eyebrows drawing together. Unbelievable. You were grasping at his vambrace absentmindedly, loosing a never-ending string of moans and ‘ahs.’ He had started to become acquainted with that spot inside you, the one that—if he hit it just right—would make you tighten like… that.
“Yes, right there.” You were undulating against him, grinding down onto his crotch so hard that he had to focus to keep control. Stars, he could hear it, how wet you were, and his ego seemed to swell with each audible movement of his fingers. He wished he had a free hand to dial up the volume on his helmet.
Din could see you losing it, hips stuttering, eyes going lidded. He wanted to bring you back.
“Look at yourself,” he commanded. You did, meeting his gaze in the reflective glass. “Look how pretty you are.” Your shirt had bunched up under his arm; your skin was glistening with sweat. “Is this what you wanted?”
“Yes. Yes. Yes.” You were chanting, practically riding his hand, dripping. He could feel you getting close.
“Any time you get worked up like this, you tell me, understand?” You were nodding, over and over and over. “I don’t care if I’ve fucked you five times already. You want me? You tell me.”
“I’ll tell you. I’ll—” He had put his thumb back over your clit, effectively silencing you. He wanted to make you work for it.
“Promise me.” You were squeezing his fingers so hard he knew you were only seconds away.
“I promise, Din. I promise I promise I promise I…” Your body went rigid, face frozen in a silent scream. It was intense; he could tell just by looking at you. And he looked, at your face, at your lips, at his arm around your chest, at his fingers still inside you.
All mine.
As you relaxed, he held you. You took off his helmet and kissed him and he died. You said you had to shower, so he let you go, but you pulled him behind you—into the bathroom, out of the armour, under the spray. He fucked you against the wall, then licked you clean, then washed and dried you, as you shook a little from the overstimulation.
You then chided him for forgetting to eat, so he did, and then finally, exhausted and sated, the two of you curled into each other under the sheets.
Taglist: @that-girl-named-alex @aavengingbucky @prismaticpizza @blub-senpai @a-phan-of-youtube @jaguarthecat @lizajane3 @come-hell-or-eldren-fire @graciexmarvel @soobinsrose @simply-maggie @alwaysdjarin @minky77 @tinytinturtle @tae27 @groguspicklejar @slightlyuglierbeyonce-blog @willow-t @abbyhaslongshorts @andrewshotspot @racetrackheart @leithatnight @messageinadaisy @lostinsideourminds @wren-2-d @goth-cowgir1 @aphterthoughtt @sleeplessskeleton @teawrites01 @dashlilymark @imherefordeanandbones @sunshine96 @kalea-bane @http-onie
A/N2: okayyy now that we're all on the same page... first proper smut scene ever how did i do. i literally wrote this so fast that i astounded myself, but it was like four days of my brain just being an extremely horny place. anyways i hope this felt warm and nice while still being a bit spicy. i hope everyone is as happy with it as i am. digital footprint in the toilet, there's no bringing her back now. anyway, if grogu or din dies next week i might never come back.
#din djarin fanfiction#din djarin x you#din djarin x female reader#din djarin x reader#the mandalorian x you#the mandalorian x reader#mando x reader#mando x you#the mandalorian#sw the mandalorian#din djarin#sw fanfic#the mandalorian series#the mandalorian fic#the mandalorian smut#din djarin smut#din djarin imagine#the mandalorian imagine#din djarin fic#the mandalorian fanfiction#my fic#jreadswrites#unexpected constellations
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Hey...are you okay? Last you said,drones were en route
Hi Nonnie! Thank you for caring, I'm physically okay, though it was not an easy night, and I don't wish it on anyone.
I wanted to update, but figured I need to make a proper update post, plus I've had some real life stuff to take care of this morning, so I couldn't post anything earlier...
I hope you're doing good! xoxox
With your permission, I'll try to also reply to all the other kind people who sent messages about this...
Stay safe!! I'll be praying for you and all of Isreal
Thank you so much, Nonnie! We're mostly physically okay, I think most people here are shaken up, but trying to continue with life, and I have no doubt that it matters for every Israeli, to know there are people out there who care and pray for us. So, I'm glad I get to pass this message on, too. Sending you lots of love! xoxox
@hidingintheaether asked:
Wishing you a good nights sleep. May you be safe and sound tomorrow and in the days to come.
I am taking sunday off from tumblr and news sites both for my mental health, but i know you do not have that luxury (of ignoring the news) at the moment. Just wanted you to know that somebody is thinking of you. (i will be praying for israels safety.)
Thank you so much, lovely! It def feels like we need it, because while Iran claims the attack's over, they did escalate things with it, which means Israel has to respond. So we still don't know what the following period of time will bring.
I'm glad you're taking care of yourself, I've sadly seen some nasty posts, so it's good to take a break when you need it. And just like I told the previous Nonnie, I'm very thankful for the care and prayers, I know it helps me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Lots of hugs to you, and be well! xoxox
@dominikadecember asked:
Alice, I don't know what is going to happen but I sending so much love to you and I hope... I genuinely don't know what for. I don't have any words.
Thank you so much, my darling Dom! I'm sending you love and hugs right back, and I know how you feel. IDK what I'm wishing for either. I want peace for everyone, including the people of Iran, they're suffering under the Islamist regime there, too. I just know that realistically, that's not where the situation is at, not for a long while yet, and for the time being, IDK what to wish for that will bring us to where I hope we can get to... I hope you're well, and I'm always grateful for you! xoxox
#israel#antisemitism#israeli#israel news#israel under attack#terrorism#iran#antisemitic#antisemites#jews#jew#judaism#jumblr#frumblr#jewish#ask#anon ask#dominikadecember#hidingintheaether#fandom love#kindness#thank you!#<33333
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genshin characters when you're tired pt.2
cw ➵ fluff
characters ➵ kazuha, childe, thoma, ayato
a/n ➵ part one is here! get some rest everyone, and remember self care is key <3
k. kazuha - 枫原万叶 ➵
kazuha has a special knack of knowing exactly how you're feeling
and when he notices your lack of enthusiasm and yawns, he knows that you're tired
the wandering samurai will immediately make you go to bed
and pull the covers up to your chin, not saying much except for "rest" and "shh"
of course he doesn't want you to be tired, so he'll sit by your side while you're resting in bed
and play his leaf flute instrument thing for you <3
"my dear...you really do need to rest sometimes, you know. i like to sunbathe on rocks to rest, or simply sleep. maybe you'd like to write some poetry with me...?"
kazuha understands the importance of a good rest
and he wants to you to not be tired <3
so, true to his word, he takes you out if it's sunny
and he finds large, smooth rocks for the two of you to lie down on like cats and sunbathe together!
after this, he'll set up a mini kazuha x y/n poetry writing workshop
and write poetry about each other and the things around you guys
after this, he'll realise you're feeling sleepy
and so he takes you to your bedroom and lets you rest in bed, pulling the covers onto you and kissing you lightly
"y/n...please get some rest. i'll be here for you if you feel like getting up."
childe - 达达利亚 ➵
the harbinger has countless duties that he needs to assist to
so he'll be well-versed in feeling exhausted and tired from time to time
he also knows that you try your best to hide it from the people you love (teucer things ahem ahem)
so, like kazuha, he realises almost immediately when you're feeling tired
"y/n dearie - you need to rest, y'know. if you want my take on things, you can never fight a battle if you're feeling tired!"
expect him to take a full day off his harbinger duties simply to help you
but of course, you tell him that his duties are more important than you feeling a little tired
so he reluctantly goes off to do his duties
coming back every once in a while to check on you, of course, as you're his beloved y/n <3
childe will also bring back exotic wonders from the farthest reaches of teyvat for you
it also gives him something to do other than his duties and worrying about you all day
mr tartaglia will also splurge his money on high-quality, expensive comfort items for you to really relax
"now, now y/n, we really can't have you being tired all day - here's something i got for you today, it should help you relax and get your work done. hahah...now, get some rest. tomorrow's a brand new day!"
thoma - 托马 ➵
thoma, as a maid working for the kamisato clan, has his days filled with work
...he doesn't really seem to get tired all that much but that's because he really loves his job right -
anyway
thoma simply loves taking care of people
and his favourite person to take care of is you of course, his precious y/n!
he notices that you're feeling tired when you're moping around the house
and when you seem to be struggling with your work, whatever that may be
"y/n, are you okay? would you like me to brew some tea for you? maybe some pastries? hmm...alright then, put your feet up and relax."
as promised, thoma makes you some aromatic tea
and he bakes pastries and whatever else you might like to eat <3
he makes you take a seat on the couch, and makes you put your feet up as he feeds you and smothers you in words of affirmation
he'll clean the entire house from top to bottom for you to have peace of mind
and he also makes sure that your work is organised and ready for when you return to it
in short, thoma is just perfect at taking care of people
especially you <3
"y/n, it's time to go to sleep now...i'll just finish sweeping outside, and i'll come to bed with you. don't worry, i'll be close by...goodnight, my precious..."
k. ayato - 神里綾人 ➵
ayato is obviously a fancy rich man
who works himself nonstop simply for his family <3
what a noble man
when he realises that you're feeling tired, he immediately gets up from writing at his desk and walks over to you
"y/n...what's the matter? are you feeling alright? you're feeling tired? i see...well, luckily for you, i can take the rest of the day off for you if you'd like."
you refuse him to reject his work for you
and instead, he carries you over to his desk lets you sit on his lap while he goes through his never-ending pile of work
every so often, he'll hum and kiss your neck or your cheek
whispering gentle words into your ear
you nuzzle into his chest, listening to nothing but
his soft words <3
his heartbeat
and the scratching of his pen on paper
eventually, you drift off to sleep, your own work lying on the side of the cuddly scene ehe
when your breathing slows, signalling that you've fallen asleep, ayato quickly gets up
hugging you to his chest
and takes you to your bedroom
he then lets you rest in bed, making sure that you're tucked all nice and cosy under the sheets
he lets himself sleep next to you because in his eyes, you just look so adorable it's irresistible <3
but then again, he doesn't realise how tired he is as well
but then he falls asleep as well, his arms cradling you close to his chest and his chin rested on the top of your head, where he plants a kiss <3
as he's dozing off, he whispers words unconsciously into your ear
"y/n...i love you...so much...just remember, it's important to take a break every once in a while..."
#genshin impact#genshin#genshin impact fluff#genshin fluff#kazuha#kazuha fluff#childe#childe fluff#thoma#thoma fluff#ayato#ayato fluff#kazuha x reader#childe x reader#thoma x reader#ayato x reader#genshin x reader#[☁️writes]
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