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turtlethebean · 6 months

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Carchelle Week Day 5: Work

Also available on AO3: No Feelings at Work - Turtle_The_Bean - Criminal Case (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

All Carmen Martinez knew was work. That was how she spent most of her adult life. For more than fifteen years, her work was documenting a war in Yemen, which ultimately resulted in the takedown of a terrorist network. She won an award for that.

But after she won that award, journalism, which had been her passion for years, became mind-numbingly boring. She still loved her job, but there was no longer the thrill of watching what was unfolding in Yemen. Reports of what local billionaires were doing and whatever crime was happening in Baltimore paled in comparison to the things she witnessed back then. She needed something more.

So, when the Bureau offered her a job, she obviously accepted it. She needed more adventure in her life. After all, she was slowly but surely reaching an age where she would be too old and tired to cover stories like the ones she did previously.

Carmen set one rule in place when she started working: no feelings at work. Everything had to be covered with complete neutrality, unphased by her own opinions of what was happening. She didn’t allow herself to mourn the sheer number of lives lost in the war; it would take up too much of her time, and she feared some maternal instincts deciding to kick in randomly.

But most importantly, she wasn’t going to date anyone who had ties with her work. She wasn’t going to date any coworkers or any people she interviewed. She was going to keep her love life and her work life separate. She figured it would be better off that way. Romance at work could cause drama and rumours to spread like wildfire, and she wasn’t going to be a spark to ignite a controversy. She saw how the news handled lesbian relationships, making her more desperate to keep her love life away from her work.

And now, she was sitting in the breakroom, wondering where she went wrong in that rule. She wondered when and why her mind had suddenly started to betray what she thought was a reasonable rule. Besides getting into a few fistfights in her younger years, she was never a rulebreaker, and yet she was starting to break a rule she had set in place to protect herself.

She tried to put her attention back on herself. Her staring probably made her look angry, and she couldn’t deny the fact that she had a resting bitch face. She really wasn’t angry at her, despite being accused of being the mole. If anything, she had admiration for this other woman. Not only was she exceptionally pretty (in Carmen’s eyes, at least), but she was smart enough to solve the Bureau’s little mole problem.

Maybe she was mistaking gratitude for love? No, Jonah had saved her life before, and she never felt this way towards him.

She wasn’t even that close to her. In fact, she had just spent the past few weeks not trusting her at all, especially after her response to Elliot’s kidnapping. So why was she now getting these feelings? Were they bottled up while she was busy trying to figure out the mole’s identity, just like everyone else?

“Why are you aggressively staring at Michelle?” Carmen snapped out of her thoughts to hear Jonah beside her. She didn’t even know he was in the room with her.

“Jee- Jonah, don’t sneak up on me like that. Also, my staring was not that aggressive.” She started, feeling her heart rate slow down a bit after that fright.

“Whatever you say. Anyways, what’s up with you and staring at her? Do you not trust her?”

“I trust her,” Carmen poured herself another cup of coffee, “It’s just…I don’t know. I really don’t know how to feel about her.”

“Hmm…do you find yourself daydreaming about her?”

“I mean…” She remembered all the thoughts that had been flooding her brain recently, including ones she would rather not talk about with Jonah, “Yeah, I totally have.”

“Sounds like the first stage of love, infatuation to me.” Jonah winked and nudged his friend playfully.

“You’ve been reading Marina’s psychology books again, haven’t you?”

“Well, it’s the only thing in her room besides her, and apparently, me staring at her while she’s giving therapy to someone makes people uncomfortable. So, I kinda gotta look at something that’s not her.”

“Yeah, I’d say someone staring at you, especially a big guy like yourself, staring at you while you’re trying to relive the darkest moments of your life is a little bit awkward.”

Carmen took a minute while Jonah was making himself and Marina some tea. Was her crush on Michelle really that obvious? Why didn’t anyone tell her until now? How often was she caught staring at her? How many times did people believe she was angry at her?

The questions flooded her mind and made the rest of her freeze up. She really didn’t want anyone to have the wrong impression of her thoughts and feelings towards Michelle, but people had probably already assumed that she was angry or just straight-up despised her.

Either way, she needed to make things right between them and set the record straight. She needed to let everyone know that she did not hate Michelle, nor was she holding any grudges against her.

“Michelle,” Carmen approached the other woman in the breakroom, “Can you meet me in my office later? There’s something I want to discuss with you.”

“Alright, what time should I meet you there?” Michelle replied, her tone as professional as ever.

“I’d say around four o’clock would be alright.”

“Okay then, I’ll see you later.” Michelle smiled and grabbed her items from the table before leaving.

There, now Carmen could make sure that everyone knew that she did not hate Michelle whatsoever. She proudly walked back over to Jonah and took a long sip of her coffee.

“Did you mean to use your ‘meet me in the parking lot’ voice?” He asked, making her almost spit out her coffee.

“Did I actually use that kind of voice?” Great, now she was embarrassed even more.

“Yeah…it did not look good.”

“Shit, and after all the effort I went through to make it seem like I didn’t hate her. Screw it, guess I’ll just have to explain everything to her tonight.”

“Good luck with that one.” Jonah took a sip of his tea and left to find his girlfriend, leaving his embarrassed friend standing in the breakroom, contemplating her life choices.

---

Carmen was absolutely panicking now. Why did she have to choose her office to confess her feelings? Sure, it was one way to ensure almost absolute privacy, but at the same time, she told herself not to mix her feelings with work.

Trying to calm herself down, she turned to typing away at her keyboard, focused on writing her report about their last case in Africa. However, in her flurry of trying to focus while getting increasingly frustrated with herself, she knocked her coffee mug, spilling it all over her computer, causing it to malfunction and letting out the worst high-pitched noise she could imagine. She launched the computer at the wall, trying to get it to stop making that horrid noise, and once it eventually stopped, she slouched in her chair in exhaustion.

A knock at the door suddenly caught her attention and made her pretend that she wasn’t just freaking out like crazy. “Come in.”

“I heard a lot of crashing noises. Is now a bad time?” Michelle asked, opening the door to Carmen’s office. 4 o’clock already? Carmen must’ve lost track of time in her work.

“No, not at all. Come in and sit down…but close the door behind you, please.”

Michelle closed the door behind her. Carmen wished she could ask her to lock it to ensure nobody would walk in on them, but she didn’t want to make herself seem any more suspicious than she already was.

“So, what did you call me in here for?” Michelle smiled, making the other detective’s heart leap in a way she never thought possible.

“Oh, um, well, I just wanted to set the record straight between us,” Carmen explained. How was she doing this? Why was she doing this?

“What is there to set straight?”

“Well, I figured people probably think I’m angry at you or that I hate you, but that’s really not the situation at all.”

“I understand. You do tend to look a little angry when you’re looking at me, or at least when I catch you looking at me.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve been told I have a resting bitch face,” Carmen chuckled, “But I don’t hate you. In fact, it’s the opposite.”

Michelle cocked her head to the side in curiosity, “And what would you mean by that?”

“Erm, well, it’s kind of embarrassing,” now was her chance, “But I think I have feelings towards you…romantic feelings.”

“Oh, thank goodness!”

“Huh?”

“I was worried the feelings weren’t mutual, which is why I never spoke to you about them, but I’m glad you feel the same way about me.”

Carmen smiled. She never knew that mixing her feelings with her work could feel so…relieving. She wished she could savour the feeling forever, but the news was out.

Instead, she settled for something she could savour for a bit longer. She pulled Michelle closer to her and pressed her lips against hers. The two melted into a kiss that lasted until they both heard another knock at the door. They both jolted around to see Elliot Clayton, the Bureau’s tech expert, standing there with a toolbox.

“I came to fix Carmen’s computer because I heard it making the sound of death, but I guess I’ll do that later.” He said, dropping the toolbox at the door before walking away.

“Well…at least he knows I don’t hate you.” Carmen joked, trying to lighten the atmosphere a little bit.

“Yep, because making out in an office is just what your average coworkers do.” Michelle laughed, pushing the other woman away playfully before being pulled back into the kiss, where they stayed for a little while longer.

#criminal case #criminal case save the world #criminal case season 3 #carchelle week 2023 #ao3 #ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic #archive of our own

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hotdogct · 3 years

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as dreamers do ||| n.jm

pairing: na jaemin x reader genre: fluff words: 2.2k a/n: hello!!! this is my first piece of writing in a very long time, so apologies if its all over the place/makes no sense!!! obviously this is all a work of fiction, disclaimer, blablabla, idk what i’m doing i just wanted to write drabbles about nct lmao, so with that being said!!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Do you trust me?”

You roll your eyes in the direction of your coworker, Jaemin, who was sitting across from you in the fluorescent lit break room located just behind Splash Mountain’s gift shop and exit. The two of you were part of the massive workforce of college aged youth that Disney recruited every year to staff their theme parks and resorts. While you weren’t initially thrilled with your role as a custodian, you learned to appreciate its quirks - and that included the unique cast of characters otherwise known as your coworkers. From the full-timers that did their best to ignore your presence, knowing another semester would just bring a fresh wave of new faces, to your fellow program cohorts - Jaemin being one of them.

Assuming he was just quoting Aladdin at you, you offer no response to Jaemin’s initial query and continue scrolling through your phone, shoveling the few remaining cheese crackers from the nearby vending machine down your throat, intending on savoring the remaining minutes of your last break for the evening.

Your thoughts wandered back to your fellow cast members. There was Daehwi, sheltered and away from home for the first time, affectionately nicknamed ‘baby’ by everyone he befriended. Wendy, with her melodic voice and cheerful disposition, eager to break into song at a moments notice. Lucas, who might’ve come to Florida to party first, but worked equally hard. Hani, who arrived a few weeks after you, always the first to come help when you radio that your restroom has overflowed, again. Even Jinho, who had initially fooled you with his youthful looks before revealing this was his third time through the program, had somehow wormed his way into your heart. But nobody had been as captivating as Jaemin. When you first met him in passing in the cramped break room, you were convinced casting had made a mistake, that he was lost on his way to costuming for entertainment. He certainly looked like a prince - perfectly straight teeth, boyishly handsome good looks. A few days later he was assigned to clean the same bathrooms as you - “bathroom buddies” as everyone affectionately would call the practice. There, in the shared stockrooms, you learned who Jaemin was beyond his beautiful face - how his friends back home called him Nana, that he was studying photography in college, that he was an only child, a helluva flirt. Even your music tastes were similar, a fact you discovered on one of the many cramped, late night bus rides back to program housing where the two of you stood packed shoulder to shoulder, like sardines in a can. Jaemin interacted with guests both young and young at heart with an effortless charm and grace. Your managers loved him immediately, and before you knew it, you found yourself incredibly enamored with him too.

It wasn’t until his hand suddenly broke through your field of vision, blocking sight of your phone, that you realized Jaemin had stood up and was now standing directly in front of you. His head covered the harshest of the overhead lights, casting a soft halo glow around his black, messy hair and broad shoulders. He smiles down at you, innocently, and you feel your heartbeat accelerate when your eyes meet his own.

“Do you trust me?” he asks, again. This time, without thought, you place your hand firmly in his.

******

Jaemin leads you out of the blinding light of the break room silently, into the dark of the early winter evening. Eyes still adjusting, you follow behind him, thankful that your corner of the park was mostly deserted - Splash Mountain still closed for the season, only a few stragglers were coming and going to use the restroom in the area. You vaguely remember that Jaemin had been assigned a nearby zone to clean that evening - which was it again…?

He leads you up a flight up stairs, then, and that’s when it hits you. Train Zone. The Frontierland Railroad Station. It was an easy zone to clean, as the railroad shut down early each night before the fireworks display. Gathering the trash in an empty zone like this was a godsend, especially when compared to the other ride queues you had to clean, oftentimes fighting constant guest traffic like a fish swimming upstream.

Lost in your thoughts, you follow behind Jaemin as he completes his task diligently, making sure each trash can within the train station is empty and re-bagged for the next morning. It had been a few days since the two of you had worked in neighboring areas, and you often found yourself tongue tied when around him. The background music loop of Frontierland was noticeably absent, the speakers within the station shut off for the night. This led to Jaemin singing nonsense songs while tying up trash bags and wiping down surfaces, dancing lightly on his feet.

Turkey leg-g-g

At the train

D-d-d-driving me insane~

All you could do was laugh at his antics, and before you knew it, the nearby banana boat parked at the exit ramp was full of trash bags. Satisfied with the results of your hard work, you were about to begin the walk to backstage, where the dumpsters were located, when Jaemin turned about face, walking instead towards the train station.

“What are you doing?!” you hiss, not wanting to shout but needing to stress your confusion at his actions. Jaemin stops at the gate, unlatches it, before turning around, beckoning you over with a smile.

“I asked you if you trusted me, didn’t I?” his voice low in your ear upon your arrival at his side, banana boat now parked safely out of any guest traffic. Jaemin unlocks the gate for you, both of you falling silent on your walk back up into the depths of the train station - no more cute, silly songs spilling from his lips.

“Are you sure we aren’t going to get caught?” your voice carries louder than intended across the empty room as you go through the turnstile, and you wince.

Jaemin’s boisterous laugh took you by surprise, followed a moment later by his hand ruffling the top of your head, messing up your hair. As if to say, foolish.

“Getting the trash from up here is technically our responsibility. So what if it took us a little long?”

He was right - the best part of your job was the agency it provided. Sure, you were cleaning up garbage and bathrooms and vomit, but you could walk around freely. Explore hidden corners and crevices of the park. You knew all too well the allures of the shared hallway between the Frontierland restrooms, the stock closet next to the Veranda breezeway, the dumpster behind the Haunted Mansion - places the rest of your desperately horny coworkers had used to hook up in weeks prior. As you follow Jaemin around a corner towards the front of the station, through an open passageway, you wonder if that’s what he has in mind. That is, until you see the view in front of you.

Jaemin had led you to a small balcony that overlooked the whole expanse of Frontierland. From above you could spot guests walking about the park to and fro, the Rivers of America flowing gently behind them in the distance. Bits and pieces of Cinderella’s Castle were visible through the tree line, shining bright in multicolor as the nightly projection show proceeded to play.

“Jaem, it’s….”

“Nice, isn’t it?” He finishes your thought for you, his hand brushing over the staged decorations of fake barrels and crates against the wall of the balcony that seemed perfect to sit upon. Moments later, Jaemin plops down with a satisfied smile on his face and pats the space beside him, silently asking you to join him.

“Nice is an understatement” you offer in reply. A small laugh leaves his lips, a breeze rolls through. For just a moment, it is quiet and still.

“I’ve been wanting to show you this place for a while, but the stars just never aligned right until tonight.”

“You mean, the computer system that automates scheduling and staffing didn’t randomly place us in neighboring areas of the park until to-” Jaemin’s stiff elbow into your side lets you know to drop the wit. That you could do, but a question lingered in your mind, still, and you did have to voice your sole concern.

“How do you not get caught up here?”

Jaemin turns around, points to the solitary light on the balcony, and it’s then that you notice the bulb is off. You might feel exposed looking down upon everyone, but quickly realize that nobody is looking up at the closed train station - let alone looking for two cast members in white uniforms in the dark, goofing off on a weeknight.

Fooling around…

You were thankful for the cover of darkness in that moment, as you felt your cheeks turn crimson at the thought. Being alone, with Jaemin, this close, in the dark...This all seemed very sudden, despite everyone knowing about your big crush on Nana - he had to know too?

“So,” Jaemin’s voice cuts through your ever-racing thoughts, and your chest goes cold. “A little birdie told me there’s something you really, really like…”

If jumping off the balcony was a safe option, in that moment, you would’ve taken it. A confirmation of your worst fears - that Jaemin was aware of your ridiculous, schoolgirl like crush on him. You are speechless, sunken, pulse racing, and terrified.

Without the usual cue of area music, caught up in the last hour, you had missed your usual clues. A loud boom caused you to jump in your seat, out of your brain, head immediately turning towards Jaemin - only to make eye contact with him, bright lights reflecting off the surface, who smiles and motions for you to turn around. Of course.

If you were known for one thing amongst your cohorts, it was that you loved fireworks. Even on the most hectic of nights you found a way to make sure you were outside during the nightly display, never taking for granted that you were being paid to watch the sky light up in time to music. You had your favorite spots to watch from, but had never once considered the train station. From the corner of Frontierland, it felt like the fireworks were almost on top of you - cascading down upon Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, the expanse of empty night sky providing the perfect canvas. As the speakers above you were silent, there was no accompanying soundtrack, but it didn’t matter - you knew the whole show by heart. You were unaware of how long your mouth had been hanging open in blissful, childlike wonder, only noticing when Jaemin gently pressed his finger up against your chin, closing the space between your upper and lower lip through simple momentum. Moments later, his hand brushed over yours, testing the waters, and finding no complaint, interlocked his fingers with yours, and gravity pulls your head to his shoulder. A soft, steady hum leaves his lips, as you settle into this newfound bliss.

The rest of the fireworks show plays out in front of the two of you - two white ghosts in a dark shadow, illuminated by glowing streaks and bursts of color from the night sky. You’re working at the most magical place on earth, sure, but this felt like the most magical moment of your life.

Before you know it, the sky calms again, signaling the end of the show. You remain frozen for a moment, not wanting to leave. When you finally stand back up, awkwardly untangling yourself from Jaemin’s frame in a rushed manner, you can almost feel yourself floating back down to the ground, back to reality. Jaemin, your co-worker, Jaemin the flirt. He brought you up here just to watch the fireworks after all. Had you been a bit more outgoing, a bit less awkward, maybe...

Taking a few steps towards the entryway, a sudden hand on your wrist pulls you against the wall - thankfully, out of sight of any guests, but now engulfing your entire body in shadow. And it’s here in the darkness that Jaemin’s hand releases itself from your wrist, finds its way up to your cheek. Here, he leans in and kisses you - pressing his chapped lips against yours gently, but with enough intent and purpose that you swear you were seeing stars after a few moments. It doesn’t last long, as all fairytales would tell you. When you part, Jaemin rests his forehead against yours, both slightly damp from the Florida humidity, and you can feel him smile against you, somehow breathless, letting out a low chuckle, before asking,

“Did you think I was talking about the fireworks?”

#na jaemin #nct fanfic #nct dream fanfic #nct dream #nct fluff #jaemin #nct scenarios #na jaemin fluff #na jaemin fic #jaemin fic #jaemin fluff #nct x reader #jaemin x reader #nct dream fluff

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sapphic-yearning-lesbian · 3 years

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A Modern AU

Namaari is randomly assigned a night shift in the ER where she meets a patient named Raya, who appears to be suffering from broken ribs. However, the shift takes a turn when Raya flatlines, and Namaari pushes herself to save the girl whose smile is engraved in her head.

Word Count: 2199

Warning’s: Major character injury, and a temporary death

Raya and Sisu are being walked into a patient room by an ER nurse called Atitaya.

Sisu loudly states, “Stupid! All these injuries were caused by stupidness!”

Raya glared at her as she held her sternum; she felt a lot of tenderness and trouble breathing. She couldn’t see, but she was sure that her rib cage would be bruised if she lifted her shirt. It’s just a few broken ribs, she thought before answering, “Tong was looking at me funny!”

“He smiled at you…because you tripped,” Sisu replied, rubbing her face with her hands as they entered the patient room.

Once entering the room, Raya quickly jumps onto the patient’s bed, resulting in her groaning in pain. “The details on how the fight broke out don’t matter. I WON: I broke one of his front teeth, his nose, and made it nearly impossible for him to have children again”. She answered as she licked the inside of her left cheek, tasting iron. She must have bitten the inside of her lip when she received a punch to her face.

Both Raya and Sisu noticed the nurse was now nervous. Then again: Who could blame her after what she just heard. But no matter how scared Atitaya was internally, she still placed a pulse oximeter on Raya’s left index finger and a blood pressure cuff on her right arm. Before taking an oral temperature.

“Remember, I work here, Raya! Please don’t scare my coworkers,” Sisu pledges as she looks at Atitaya smiling before sitting down. “Tong should also be a patient of yours tonight. I know this sounds crazy, but we’re all great friends.”

Suddenly Tong’s voice is echoing through the ER hallways. “ARE YOU OKAY, RAYA” Atitaya jumps as she finishes taking Raya’s temperature.

“I’M ALRIGHT! SORRY TONG, I HOPE YOUR MANLY HOOD WASN’T LOST,” Raya screams back, smiling, as his laughter is filling the hallway once again. She turns to look at Sisu, who is practically crying in the chair from embarrassment.

“Ms. Hart. I’m going to have to ask you to not scream,” The nurse says in a calm voice, trying not to smile.

Raya begins to nod in agreement before she starts clenching at her chest before gasping for air. The pain is excruciating. Yet, she is still hopeful it’s just broken ribs, and they haven’t punctured her lung; because that would hurt way more...right?

Atitaya was about to excuse herself from the room to locate Namaari, the nurse practitioner who can order an X-ray and medicine. Yet as she unbadged herself from the computer, she hears three knocks on the door. A tale sign that Namaari was about to enter the room. The three knocks are a secret signal she uses with all her nurses to know of her presence.

“Hello. My name is Namaari; I’m the nurse practitioner this night shift. I heard the screaming and your very muffled voice. Could I take a look at your injury?”

Raya’s head jerks in the direction of the knocks spotting the new nurse, Namaari. She smiles widely. The new nurse is wearing a white coat over grey scrubs. Her scrubs were tightly fitted, showing that under, she had a muscular figure. Her skin was golden brown, with piercing brown eyes. She also had a very attractive undercut screaming, ‘Sapphic.’

Raya also notices a tattoo cuff on her left ear, probably because it’s a safety hazard to wear jewelry in hospitals: They can easily be pulled by angry or upset patients--She lightly bites on her bottom lip before answering, “Are you sure my voice was muffled? Maybe you were just attracted to my voice and needed a reason to come in here,” She felt pretty winded after that finishing her sentence, but she was still able to lift her left eyebrow.

And yes, Raya was dam aware she shouldn’t be hitting on the hospital staff, but come one. She’s hot.

“RAYA” Sisu screamed from the corner of the room.

Namaari stood at the door frame with a gentle smile on her lips.

Raya assumed the flirting attempt went over Namaari’s head. She couldn’t bear to think the gorgeous nurse was choosing to ignore her. “I would have gotten myself injured sooner if I knew this godly woman would show up to rescue me,” Raya struggles to say as she winks.

Seconds later, Raya’s body was overwashed with a painful sting “ah fuck” she states as she curls into herself, gripping at her right ribcage.

Namaari was used to patients flirting with her; It comes with the job. However, It’s usually easy for her to ignore flirtations. Yet Namaari wasn’t blind; this patient was gorgeous even in her physical state.

Raya was beaten, a purple bruise appearing on her left cheek, her clothes dirty from the struggle of her disagreement.

Namaari cannot deny how Raya’s smile made her feel some weird sensation in the pit of her stomach: People call that feeling butterflies.

This patient was trouble, but that somehow excited Namaari.

Suddenly Namaari remembered the other voice in the room and turned to see Sisu, jumping from her seat running over to Raya. She didn’t necessarily consider Sisu, a friend. Still, she often saw her in the ER because she is part of the psychiatry department. Sisu would often come and evaluate patients for hospitalization. “Quite ironic, how a trauma nurse is in the ER for a trauma injury,” Sisu hummed as she ran her hands through Raya’s hair.

Namaari forced herself out of her thoughts and walked over to Raya. Looking up at the vital machine monitor. Her pulse was high, resting in the 110s, and her blood pressure was also abnormal. “Call for an X-ray and tell them I okayed it.” She finally says, looking straight at Antitya, who nods and exits the room.

Namaari walks over to the computer in the room, quickly badging in and ordering her some narcotics to give Raya once the broken or fractured ribs are conformed by the X-ray.

Sisu is just smiling at Namaari from afar as she consoles Raya, who is cussing in pain with each of her breathe’s.

“Can you please lay back on the bed so I can look at your injury” Raya hears the attractive nurse say. She hums as Sisu lets go of her stepping back, her place now replaced by Namaari smiling gently at her. Raya tried to shift her position to lay herself on the bed, but it hurt so much to do it.

Raya felt as she was being punched in the lungs if she moved even an ounce. To distract herself from her pain, she watched as Namaari, who looked over at the vital machine, and for a moment, panic showed on her face. Nevertheless, Namaari’s eyes meet hers again as she smiled, trying to comfort her, which she did.

However, seconds later, Raya felt her brain becoming fuzzy with the pain radiating all over her body, her breathing very labored as she gasped for air. Raya knew she was about to pass out, but she never felt safer. She knew she was in Namaari’s hands, and something deep down within her knew she would be okay.

Namaari watched as Raya’s pulse shot up to 140, while her Oxygen dropped to 87. This wasn’t just a case of broken ribs anymore.

Namaari quickly walked towards the wall and pulled on a red switch, the rapid code. Its unique alarm went off, and she knew that the call light was flashing red outside. Both these tools allow for the other medical staff to be informed the patient in that room is deteriorating, and further assistance is needed.

Raya’s vision was becoming blurred with speckles of black as she was consumed by her agony. All she wanted to do was scream or even cry, but the pain was so immense that her body forced her to stay silent. Raya felt like a prisoner in her body, unable to communicate what she was experiencing.

Soon enough, Raya was overwashed with a need to close her eyes; it’s like her body was promising her that if she went to sleep, the pain would stop. She wanted to give in to this promise, but she fought it for now.

Raya couldn’t move, but she felt as the nurse slowly guided her down onto the bed as Sisu cried in the background. The rapid alarm echoed throughout the room, and she couldn’t help but laugh in her mind as this time it was pulled for her. Most times, Raya was running the rapid codes saving people’s lives, yet right now, her life rested in that beautiful nurse’s hands.

Those were Raya’s last thoughts as her mind went blank, properly passing out.

Once Namaari guided Raya to lay on her back, she quickly placed an oxygen mask on her as the room was suddenly swimming with more staff members. Everyone trying to help in some way, taking blood pressures, starting an IV, calling for a portable X-ray machine, and calling for an OR in case of emergency surgery: as it seemed, Raya did have a punctured lung caused by her broken ribs.

Suddenly Atitaya was next to Namaari. “I told Sisu to wait in the waiting room; she didn’t want to go, but I showed her out” OHH, yea Raya’s girlfriend, Maari thought.

Apparently, Sisu was screaming in the background, which she completely blocked from her head. Namaari’s excuse being that she was trying to save Raya’s life. “I should have known she was high on adrenaline, and It was muting her pain symptoms--” Atitaya whispered to Namaari.

Namaari knew her nurse was blaming herself for something she didn’t think about either. She let the girl’s beautiful coffee eyes distract her. And now she’s watching her vitals plummet.

Suddenly a women’s voice screamed, “She decompensating. She’s about to flatline someone start compressions NOW.” Namaari didn’t look up to check who ordered that; she assumed the order was from a resident. Namaari quickly crouched and pressed on the CPR lever under the bed that laid the bed completely flat. She quickly placed her left hand over her right interlocking her fingers after standing up before placing her hands on Raya’s sternum. She began compressions, two inches deep each time. Simultaneously, Atitaya was bagging Raya so she could breathe for her.

After the first round of 30 compressions; The resident speaks again, “Turn her onto her side Namaari” Namaari did as she was told, recognizing the voice to belong to Amba. Anyways, another staff member slipped a flat board under Raya’s back. Once it was in place, Namaari quickly laid her back down and continued compressions. Soon a tiny monitor was placed below Namaari’s hands, which actually told her if her compressions were deep enough.

After about 3 minutes of constant compressions, Namaari’s compressions weren’t deep enough. “Switch,” She states as Atitaya takes over compressions and Namaari begins to bag Raya.

Only once Namaari stopped compressions did she notice the room was full of various staff members; the rapid code was now a code blue, a whole different sound echoing through the room.

It’s crazy, but you don’t hear these changes during an emergency. You only listen to what’s essential to saving the patient’s life.

As Atitaya performed more compressions, the sound of one of Raya’s ribs breaking under her force was heard. Atitaya flinched, realizing she caused her recovery to be longer if she survives. But that sometimes happens; you hurt the person you’re trying to save. Most people don’t mind a broken rib if it means you saved their life.

Namaari was snapped back into the present when she heard “charge to 100” before “CLEAR.” That’s all it took. Raya’s pulse came back. Namaari felt so relieved: She’s always happy to save someone’s life, but today, right now, she’s overjoyed.

Nevertheless, Namaari doesn’t understand how two sentences from this patient had her heart throbbing within her chest.

She doesn’t know how or why the relief she’s currently experiencing is so overpowering.

With all these inner thoughts, Namaari still smiles as now she has the chance to get to know Raya. UGHHH, no, you cannot get to know her! She’s dating Sisu...

Stop overthinking Namaari. SNAP OUT OF IT!

“Thank’s, Namaari. We’ll take it from here,” Amba, the surgical resident, says; As a portable x-ray machine is brought into the room to scan Raya.

Once a resident or doctor from a different unit takes over, Raya is no longer her patient, and she needs to let her go and help another patient. Even so, she left the room and waited outside it to listen in. “She’s punctured her left lung; we need to rush her into emergency surgery, page Pengu. He’s the best cardiothoracic surgeon!”

Namaari exhaled as she watched nurses and doctors from the surgical unit transport, Raya, off the emergency unit to the operating room.

Namaari had gotten Raya’s heart to pump again, but the surgery will decide whether she lives or dies. Knowing this, she rested her head on the wall regaining her posture, putting a smile on her face as she heard her name being called from another patient’s room.

Let me know if you want me to continue it! :)

#namaari #disney raya #Disney Namaari #raya x namaari #Namaari x Raya #rayaari #raya namaari #RatLD Raya #raya and the last dragon #ratld #ratld namaari #ratld incorrect quotes #raya of heart #namaari of fang #rayamaari #sisu

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samwisethewitch · 4 years

Text

Practicing Witchcraft in Secret

I love things that are traditionally “witchy.” I love dressing candles with herbs. I love setting things on fire. I love making poppets and charms. But not everyone is able to be so obvious in their craft. For various reasons, some witches choose to be secretive about their magical practice.

Why Would You Want to Keep It a Secret?

Historically, witches kept their practice a secret because it wasn’t safe to be open about their beliefs. In the late middle ages, the Catholic Church began to actively persecute witchcraft, herbal medicine, and folk spirituality with the publication of “witch hunting guides” like the Malleus Maleficarum. This witch hunting fervor would continue even after the Protestant Reformation, with some of the most famous witch hunts (such as the Salem trials) carried out by Protestants.

It is important to remember that the witch hunts were political at their heart and that very few of the people executed for witchcraft were what we would recognize today as witches. They were mostly women, poor folks, or members of ethnic or religious minorities. But even so, the danger of being accused of witchcraft and/or devil worship drove many medieval witches, herbalists, and pagans to hide their practice.

The United States experienced a modern witch hunt of sorts in the 1980s with the “Satanic Panic.” We still don’t entirely understand what caused this cultural phenomenon, but what we do know is that it resulted in widespread paranoia about devil worship. Anything that could be misconstrued as “satanic” was shunned or outright persecuted, from Dungeons & Dragons to heavy metal music to nature-based religions like Wicca — and, yes, witchcraft. People who had been comfortably open about their spirituality suddenly found themselves practicing behind closed doors. If you’re over 30, you may remember this. If you’re under 30, the Satanic Panic probably shaped how your parents view witchcraft and paganism, and they may still be grossly misinformed as a result.

Even today, a lot of witches choose to keep their practice a secret because it would be unsafe or uncomfortable to go public. Many witches have family members, friends, or coworkers who would be uncomfortable if they knew about their witchcraft, and may even choose to end the relationship because of it. Some witches live in culturally Christian areas where it might be harder for them to get jobs or make friends if they were openly self-identifying as a witch. Some of us live in places where an outdoor ritual could get the cops called on us, or have missionaries showing up to save our souls.

On the other hand, some witches just like privacy. You may feel like your spirituality is nobody’s business but yours, and for that reason you may prefer to do witchcraft in a way that is more subtle and secretive. Desire for privacy is a perfectly valid reason to stay “in the broom closet.”

There are also some magical traditions that require members to swear a vow of secrecy and to keep the group’s secrets. However, these traditions usually require an in-person initiation, so I won’t be discussing them here.

Inconspicuous Witchcraft

If you haven’t read my posts about magical journaling and kitchen magic, I highly recommend you check them out. Those are two forms of magic that are very easy to practice discretely.

No matter what your reason for keeping your practice a secret, here are a few tips for making magic without drawing attention.

Use scented candles. Candle magic is one of the easiest and most versatile forms of spellwork, and all it requires is a candle and your intention. Scented candles are perfect for undercover witches because, rather than adding herbs and oils, you can simply buy a scent that matches your intention. (For example, a vanilla candle is great for love, while a pumpkin spice scent will attract wealth.) Plus, they’re so commonplace that no one will think twice about seeing one in your bedroom or on your desk at work. If you’re a purist and want to make sure you’re using real plant materials, you can get all natural candles scented with essential oils — but lots of witches use artificial scents and get good results, so don’t feel like you have to go with the more expensive option.

Diffuse essential oils. Essential oils contain the concentrated essence of a plant, which makes them a must-have tool for witches. Essential oils are also extremely popular right now, both for holistic healing and for aromatherapy, so you definitely won’t attract any negative attention for using them. You can get a good essential oil diffuser for under $20 online. Some brands overcharge for their oils, but you can find good quality oils for under $10. When choosing an essential oil, look at the magical correspondences for the plant it is made from. You can diffuse oils to infuse your space with their energy, similar to the way you would use incense.

Enchant your perfume. You can choose a perfume to match your intention or make your own custom perfume by mixing essential oils in a carrier oil. Focus on your intention as you spray the perfume, letting it infuse your energy field with magic. You can also buy magical perfume blends from witch-owned businesses online or on Etsy.

Learn shufflemancy. “Shufflemancy” is a modern form of divination that is done by putting a playlist on shuffle — whatever song plays first contains an intuitive message for you, either in the lyrics or in how it makes you feel. You can find playlists specifically made for divination by Googling “shufflemancy playlist,” or you can make your own by compiling a playlist of songs from different genres that deal with different topics. Just be sure to keep it diverse — if your playlist only has love songs on it, you might not get very helpful messages if you have a question about your career.

Learn bibliomancy. This divination method is similar to shufflemancy, but much older. Bibliomancy is done by asking your question while holding a book, focusing on your question while connecting with the book’s energy, and then opening it to a random page. There is a long, long tradition within Christianity of doing this with the Bible — if you feel connected to a certain sacred text, you could use it for bibliomancy. You could also use a book of poetry, a novel, or even a dictionary. However, I think it’s important to use a book you feel a connection to, rather than something randomly grabbed off the shelf.

Use Pinterest and Spotify as manifestation tools. You may have heard of vision boards, a tool used to manifest something by creating a detailed collection of images that match your intention. Pinterest boards are already essentially virtual vision boards, and creating one with focused intent can be a spell by itself. Likewise, you can use Spotify playlists for manifestation. To do this, create a playlist of songs that match your intention (songs about money or love, for example) and listen to it while meditating on your desired outcome.

Choose your outfits with intention. You can pick clothes based on color correspondences (see this post for a guide to color magic), the material they are made from (a wool sweater vs. a cotton T-shirt), or some other symbolism. For example, if you want to feel empowered, you might wear leopard print to channel the energy of a fierce predator.

Enchant a piece of jewelry for a specific purpose. You can choose your jewelry based on the correspondence of the metal or gemstones it is made from, make your own piece, or use whatever you already have on hand. You can enchant this jewelry by passing it over the flame of a candle or through the vapor of an essential oil diffuser. State what purpose you want this charm to serve, either out loud or in your mind. Wear this jewelry whenever you need to tap into that energy, and make sure to cleanse it often.

Create magical art. If you want to manifest something, draw or paint a picture of it. You don’t have to be a skilled artist — what matters is that you are taking your mental image of what you want and bringing it into the physical world. Fold up the picture and keep it in your pillow, or in some other special place. Likewise, if you want to banish something, draw or paint a picture of it and then rip it into little pieces and throw it out. This ritual allows you to purge yourself of the negative emotions tied to the thing you are banishing.

Take a magical bath. We rarely have more privacy than when we’re in the tub. Taking a bath is already a ritual of sorts, and it’s easy to add magic. You can, of course, make magical bath salts by mixing essential oils into Epsom salt, but you can also create bath spells with household objects. For example, a bath with salt and vinegar will clear up nasty energy, while adding milk to your bath will attract love and abundance.

Practicing in secret does not have to mean a less deep or well-rounded practice. There are lots of magical acts that can be done subtly or kept private. The suggestions in this post are by no means exhaustive, and I hope they will give you some ideas for other ways to fill your life with undercover magic.

Resources:

“Introduction” from The Malleus Maleficarum at http://www.malleusmaleficarum.org

The Fat Feminist Witch podcast, “Episode 34 — Witches, Midwives, and Doulas”

“Most witches are women, because witch hunts were all about persecuting the powerless” by Bridget Marshall for The Conversation

New World Witchery podcast, “Episode 118 — The Satanic Panic”

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pa-panda-heroes · 4 years

Note

im the same anon who sent the pro-hero + league thing and dabi, shiggy, toga 🥺💞💖💖 thank you, lovely.

Enjoy, anoni!! I’m realising my scenarios are aren’t really scenarios, are they?

Strict!Pro-hero!reader being seduced by Dabi, Tomura, and Himiko!

Warning: N/S/FW content. Minors, do NOT interact. Seriously! This is no place for you. (Edit: that means a anyone under 18. That’s the threshold I’ve seen others use, so I’m sticking it’s that.) Note: there are individual warnings for each character so that you know what you’re about to read ^v^b

Dabi:

Warnings- adult content, thigh riding, biting, edging, alcohol mention, swearing

To say that you were known for being cool-headed and strict was a major understatement. You weren’t as popular as All Might, but those who knew you understood you to be a hero who, no matter how any villain taunted or insulted you, was concrete and unbending to their childish games. You went by the book and rarely made exceptions.

And then Dabi entered the picture. Cynical, rough, sardonic as hell, and quite the lawbreaker - and flirt. He’d stir some trouble in the streets, and then dip out when things got sketchy for him. In the midst of doing so, he’d always send some nasty smirk and comment your way. “Some nice legs you got there, doll. They’d look nicer above your head, though,” was his favorite; or perhaps it was your response he vied for so much. Because boy, you wanted to respond. You couldn’t deny the selfish gratification that came of his antics, knowing someone didn’t treat you as a gripey, square of a woman.

But that was the last thought on your mind as you sauntered through an alleyway on your walk home from having harmless fun with your fellow heroes. You hadn’t drank a sip, afraid of trouble spurring and hence your being called in. Your focus was fixated on your phone in your hand as you read the text one of your coworkers sent you.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, babe,” you suddenly hear, and instantly recognize the bastard of a voice. And instantly you feel that familiar throbbing at your core at the sound of it.

You look up from your phone, stone-faced as always, and try to resist the urge to scowl at him. You fail, though. He’s standing not far from you with his hands in his pockets, but it doesn’t look like this encounter was intended. “Don’t call me that,” you warn shakily, only for his smirk to widen and show off his teeth before he closes the gap between you. You elect to swing a fist at him but miss entirely before a blur flashes over your vision and your back hits the hard brick of the alley.

“Why not? We both know you enjoy it,” he snickers, his forearm across the front of your shoulders, his left hand occupied with pinning your wrist to the wall and knee stuck in-between yours. “If you really meant that punch, I wouldn’t have been able to dodge it, right?”

Right.

He even left your other hand free to prove his point.

Your breath is heavy and fluttered as he leans closer. You said nothing, but the fact that your wrist was relaxed in his hold told him everything. You see him smirk again, thereafter his arm leaves your chest so that he could put his thumb under your chin, the rest of his fingers splayed out on your jaw and you gulp. Your eyes fall half-lidded when he leans in close, but he quickly pushes your head back and veers off to the side to suckle at your neck, earning a quiet whine from you. Dabi acknowledges it with an eerie chuckle, to which you nearly respond with suspect before a cry leaves your lips at the sensation of teeth gnashing at your collarbone, the feeling of his chin staples rolling over your skin surprisingly heavenly. He resorts back to suckling and you’re sure he’s leaving at least a few hickies, but you’re too wrapped up in his hands fondling your hips and ass to care. They’re so warm, it’s ecstatic. He’s sweltering hot, unlike the cool wetness settling between your legs.

“Aah, Dabi...!”

You can’t help the whine of your lips or buck of your hips, nor the yelp that results when you unintentionally grind your throbbing core against his thigh. Dabi pulls off of your neck with a pop before he grabs your hips with both hands to pull you closer, encouraging you to ride his thigh. “My leg, ah?” he breathes, his voice more curious than either of you would admit. He leans in towards your ear, hot breath sending a chill down your spine. “Go on, do it,” he demands, his voice a whisper. “Lift that skirt and cum on my thigh, doll.”

You shut your eyes tight and moan at such a filthy command, his husky voice a contributor. Dabi’s too impatient with you to let you move your skirt out of the way as he does it himself, his returned grip on your hips surely to bruise them. You’re able to look down as he guides you, and there’s a clear streak of wetness soaking his pant leg. You shiver at the sight of your arousal, and again when he reaches to move your panties out of the way to let you grind bare against his jeans. You stare at the sight, not having it in you to look away. He must’ve followed your graze, his chest rumbling with a chuckle as you begin to cry out and moan louder. Dabi’s tongue is awfully quick to find and lick at your ear, while his teeth occasionally gnaw at it and pull. You were so pent up, even after a night of fun, it was no surprise your climax was already catching up to you. Your pace gets faster and faster, until that tightened coil-

Doesn’t snap. Dabi retreated his thigh from you and grabs your jaw to force you to look at his simper, earning a pout from you. “Aw, c’mon. Don’t make that face,” he taunts.

“You didn’t really think that’d be it, did you, babe?”

Tomura:

Warnings- adult content, spanking, swearing, orgasm denial

Being an infamously stoic hero had its perks. No one expected you to goof off on talk shows or crack a corny joke in interviews. Everyone liked that you weren’t careless and rambunctious; it just suited you not to be. A downside was being viewed as a “strict, rule-hungry old bag,” though. And you weren’t even old! But because you took being a hero seriously and followed rules, it gave you a public opinion not far off from Endeavor’s.

Getting on the trail of the leader of the League of Villains was a royal pain in the ass, much less staying there. It didn’t help that he seemed to take a special interest in you. There was always a hungry look in his eyes when you faced off, and nearly every time it felt like he’d planned the encounter as if to merely get a glimpse of you.

It wasn’t something you hated. This game of cat and mouse was exhilarating. Constant. Safe. It was a release. The more it happened, the more you thought it was the same way for him.

That theory was confirmed in its entirety when he randomly showed up in your apartment and looked at you as if he’d waited a significant amount of time. On you. You freeze in place after shutting your door, your bag of groceries still in hand as he stares at you from the couch. The silence that falls is thick, and not entirely uncomfortable, but it is unwelcome. You walk over to the kitchen area and set the bag atop the counter, before turning around to see Tomura standing right in front of you, the lack of hands adorning his body confusing you. “Why... are you here?” you ask hesitantly, noting the unconscious clenching of your thighs.

“You wouldn’t make a damn move, so I had to.”

His answer was simple and dry, and you begin to wonder if that meant anything other than what you wanted it to. His intentions are clear when he approaches further, backing you into the counter and caging you with an arm on each side. Tomura just stares at you. It was your turn. That’s how your little game went. And so you jolted forward, latching onto his lips with your own. Your dominance is short-lived, though, as he deepens the kiss when you yelp from his hand smacking against the side of your thigh, his tongue invading your mouth. Tomura’s hands are quick to snake up your shirt and paw at your uncovered breasts, the villain then smirking at the realization that you weren’t wearing a bra while he chuckles at your moan. His fingers pinch your hardening nubs, resulting in your pulling back from his lips and mewling.

His breaths are getting heavy, as are yours. Tomura grabs your arm and spins you around so that your backside is facing him, your ass end poking out at him when he grabs your head and pushes down to bend you over the counter. You glance back at him, but your focus is broken when you feel his hardened cock against your ass. Your whine only encourages him to briskly unbuckle your pants and pull them down, and you half-expect him to grind against you again - but he doesn’t. You begin to push back against him, albeit a hand on the small of your back lunges you forward and you scramble to get a grip on the counter beneath you. Hard to do that on a flat, smooth surface.

“Funny, you’re such a stickler about rules, and yet here you are, trying to make your own,” he jeers, and you swallow thickly. “You can follow a command, can’t you, hero?”

You gulp again and try to writhe in place, only to shriek when a hand lands sharp on your ass cheek as his other hand digs into your back. “Can’t you?” he repeats, and the feeling of your cunt clenching practically resounds throughout your body. You’re soaked, it’s clear. You pant instead of responding, almost sounding like a bitch in heat before another slap sounds against your reddening asscheek and you moan aloud, earning yourself yet another.

“I can!” you nearly scream, white-hot tears prickling the corners of your eyes - either from the pleasure, or the pain, you’re not sure.

“Don’t cum.”

You gasp and glance back at him, lips agape as you felt the pulling down of your panties. All you can see is those dark, red eyes glaring at you like a predator about to devour its prey.

Himiko:

Warnings- adult content, mentions of stalking, biting, oral, slight knife use (your poor panties), swearing, home... invasion?

Note- I’m not sure how old Toga is. Granted that she wears a school uniform and she crushes on Izuku, I’m setting her age to 20 here because I’m really not sure.

Being stalked by villains is not something you’re unfamiliar with. Being called a stone-faced, soulless shell of of a woman is not something you’re unfamiliar with either, a result of the public eye constantly fixated on you. On the contradictory, a grown ass villain flirting with your austere being was something you were quite unused to. Toga Himiko of the League of Villains was always hot on your trail, quick to retreat when noticed yet quick to notice you first. The smile that would crack her lips open was clearly meant for you and for you alone, always used as a flirtatious taunt. It wasn’t uncommon for you to track her down and chase after her, nor was it uncommon for her to track you down and leap after you.

Your game of push-and-pull had been on for a while. She was always so quick to escape no matter the situation, and you couldn’t for the life of you figure out how she did it. Nor could you figure out how the hell she got into your apartment. While you were there. Granted, you were asleep, but still...

She grins at you again in your bedroom doorway, that grin you know well, and seems to fiddle with the belt loop at her shorts, having long since abandoned the school girl schtick. It only worked for so long anyway. “Y/n-chan,” she beams, nearly drooling. “I had a nightmare, can I sleep with you tonight?” Her voice is sweet and lilted, and for a split second you believe her. She still had that sweet and harmless-looking appearance despite being a hardened villain. You lick your lips almost unconsciously, which she takes as an invitation to your bed, except she yanks your bedding off of you unceremoniously to replace it with her body as she straddles your hips.

You stare at her, your hands instinctively going for the sides of her thighs, with which she seems quite pleased as she squeaks at you. “You look so small down there, hero,” she mutters, her grin ear-to-ear. “So cuuute!” Her eyes then narrow almost darkly at you and she cocks her head sideways. “So quiet. Are you still sleepy, hm?”

Her thighs are so plump and sweet that you gulp underneath her while wondering what she’d taste like, but she shakes her head at you. “No, not tonight, lovey.” Himiko leans down and lunges her tongue into your open mouth, your moans mixing together as she does so, albeit yours increases in volume when she palms your breast through your shirt and squeezes before flicking her finger at your hardening nipple. The villain pulls away from you too quickly, sitting up so briskly your head almost spins, as she ignores the trail of saliva that follows. Her hips are adjusted atop you before she grabs the hem of your shirt and brings it up to your mouth. You catch on immediately and comply, biting the fabric into place as she goes to town kissing and licking your sternum between your tits. Golden, sharp eyes never leave yours in the moment, and her mouth feels hot against your skin as you moan. Her groping at your legs only serves to make you more vocal.

The bloodthirsty woman travels down your navel, yet goes right past where you want her most, while your whine is punctuated by the bucking of your hips. Himiko instead elects to suckle at your hip and upper thigh, before she parts your legs and settles between them. You jolt a little as she licks a stripe up your thigh until her tongue is a finger’s width away from the throbbing wetness between your legs. She giggles at your response, then landing a quick, tiny bite on your thigh before licking her lips. You don’t realise you’ve reached out to grab the top of her head and pulled it toward you until you feel the softness of her hair underneath your fingertips and another giggle escapes her. Himiko’s tongue pokes out from her lips as she pulls a knife from her belt to shred away at the hip of your panties before pulling them down to give her access to your throbbing clit.

Her tongue is quick to prod at your hole, then dragging up towards your clit before her lips are around it and sucking away. You cry out as a result, hips bucking again as your free hand clutches the bedsheet beneath you. You hear what sounds like a growl come from Himiko’s throat, then watch as her arms hook around your legs and hold your hips down. The sweat starting to coat your skin keeps her from getting a decent grip, so she uses force while her tongue dips into you and pokes around with her thumb rubbing at your swollen, puffy clit.

“Toga-chan-!”

Your whining out her name encourages her thumb to rub circles and increase its pace, Himiko finally letting out her own moan into your soaked cunt as her tongue begins to lick and suck away. Your grip on the sheets tightens until your knuckles are white, your mantra of moans music to her ears. Until suddenly, she pulls away, your essence coating her lips and practically dripping down her chin.

“Y/n-chan,” she says almost darkly, with the look in her eyes making your cunt clench around nothing, “you can’t cum yet.”

#mha #mha x reader #mha smut #mha scenarios #dabi x reader #shigaraki x reader #toga x reader #dabi #shigaraki tomura #toga himiko #these are long whoops #sorry about the short minute where there was no cut #i had to edit on mobile and it ate it

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softer-ua · 3 years

Note

I have no idea what Bakugou would have done if Izuku died in the sludge Villain accident. They had a lot of strong unresolved emotions, I just can't fully visualize it, the only thing I have clear is him trying to latch onto anger, but that would burn out fast because the Villian was trapped and the heroes did their thing (Winning, which at that point he believed everything was) so I don't know what would he do. Sooo...could you please give us your insight? Please :D

I’d love to give my insight! Thank you for asking!!!🥰

It would depend on which sludge incident, the one where Deku ran to save Katsuki or the one where Deku was on his own? 🤔 I’ve got ideas on both lol

Buckle up this is gonna be a long one, and it’s not a fun ride

For the first I think Katsuki would latch onto anger and be a self hating righteous little monster for the rest of eternity. Because obviously he’s never getting therapy.

If he can blame himself for AM’s retirement and his parents can blame him for getting kidnapped than I have zero doubt the Entire Bakugo family would blame Katsuki for Dekus death. That family loves to victim blame, and Mitsuki would have a field day with chart topping world’s lowest blows like

If Katsuki hadn’t been hanging out in an alley and had gone straight home the villain wouldn’t have got him

If Katsuki hadn’t just been randomly blasting the heros wouldn’t have had to divert their attention to the fire

If Katsuki hadn’t been so weak(what’s the point of that flashy quirk if you can’t even save yourself)

Going with him to make him apologize to Inko (trying to imagine this feels like my brains touching a hot stove, it would be a thousand times more horrible and scarring than being forced to apologize to his Idol and teach for being kidnapped)

If hs Katsuki didn’t have the tools to block out his mother and broke down over a 50 year old man retiring, then poor ms Katsuki doesn’t stand a chance against being forced to bare the blame in someone’s actual death, especially not Dekus. Plus whatever destructive aftermath Katsuki created.

Did you have to blow up the entire alley way??

Katsuki would also never stop blaming those heros, even if the villain was captured they lost what really mattered, Dekus life.

They should have stopped the villain before Deku ever showed up

They should have never let Deku cross the line

They should have saved him

I think his fear of being weak would have been magnified by 10000. And it wouldn’t be a stretch for me to believe that witnessing that kind of hero failure so personally would be his villain origin. But even if it wasn’t, I think 10 months of stewing in grief, rage and self hate at such a young age would leave some very permanent scars

He’d habitually train to the point of self harm(reminder to check in on your fitness bros)

He’d never ever let someone close to him again (he didn’t want Deku close to him in the first place and look at how bad it hurt anyway)

He wouldn’t give a shit about any heros opinion anymore, if it’s not about how he can get stronger than any would be mentor can fuck off

His ego would have taken a massive hit, he’s no longer trying to prove he’s the best

Instead he’s insuring it because he’s never losing anyone again

Even with that in mind I think the sports festival actually would have gone a lot calmer because he no longer gives a shit about showing off, he’s just fighting to test himself and Dekus the one who pushed Todoroki to the point anyone even knew he had a fire side(I always wonder how much longer Aizawa was gonna let that go on for) so he’d except his medal quietly so it’s possible the lov would never have tried to recruit him

I think he’d be a lot more proactive in helping his classmates get stronger

Just not in a cute tsundere way anymore, but in a “if you can’t keep up with me I will keep attempting to murder you until you drop out” way, because B List heros are not allowed to be a thing anymore

Eventually he would grow up to be the top hero and he revels in that victory by hating himself, his job, his coworkers, his family, and everyone and everything else. The best part of his days are the adrenaline highs and that’s not even a happy high, in a bad headspace it just makes you ansty and aggressive, still better than being a hallow husk of resentments

I wouldn’t be surprised if he eventually did kill a fellow pro for not meeting his standards. Depending on what the hero did to earn his ire would shape wether he went on to be the new hero killer or simply stopped being a hero himself in custody or more permanently

Now if the villain had instead been captured after being caught hiding in Dekus flesh suit things would have been very different than the above

Katsuki would definitely be traumatized at this news, so would most of their class and they’d probably do some kind of memorial deal, and over the course of a couple of days Katsuki would slowly descend into madness at watching his class act like they have ever given a single fuck about Deku

Then he would speedball into it, because how dare they grieve over him, non of them deserve to especially not him

He’d be angry for as long as he could, at himself and everyone else, but eventually that’d putter out without anyone stoking the fire, no one else blames his class for feeling sad and no one blames the heros for not existing on every single possible street corner

Maybe he makes it through UA. He’s not as hot head, not as naive, but teens hold grudges like no other, he can be mad at the world a little longer.

Throws himself into the work so he doesn’t have time to think. He’s going to be the best because Deku always believed he would be and if he’s not allowed to be sad than this will be his only way to honor the nerds memory.

But the thing about pain is that it demands to be felt.

Eventually his regrets and grief would come for him, in a year or in ten years doesn’t matter they will eventually claim the time and space they need with interest.

He’d probably meet his regrets first so that he can be mad at himself for a little longer

He should have let Deku be

If he hadn’t held Deku up after class maybe he’d have made it home

His last words play on loop growing distorted and more malicious as the years go on(fun fact about memory ! It’s easily manipulated because each time you remember something you’re actually just remembering the last time you remembered the thing! Basically your brain reconstructs the memory completely each time! Fuck it up once and it’s all down hill)

He regrets not ensuring that he’d have more than his flimsy memories to hold onto Deku with, he never realized he’d want to, never could fully conceive that he’d actually have to.

He should have been kinder

He should have been less of a coward and faced his own insecurities

He should have talked to Deku about so many things

He can’t just focus on what he did and didn’t do forever tho, eventually he’ll have to recognize the hole Deku left behind, his regrets will paint the picture of his grief

Maybe he forgets the exact date of Dekus birthday but he knows it was in the summer, he regrets not going to his last one and grieves never going to a next one.

He regrets not going to the funeral, of course he was sad, he’d been an idiot to think he couldn’t be

He regrets not visiting Dekus grave, and grieves over how long he’s been gone now

He regrets that he had to learn what the value of saving is by having lost, god how he grieves that loss

Without Deku Kaminari never hears that nickname, Kacchan died with Deku. He grieves over never hearing it again

He wonders if Dekus hanging out with Kacchan wherever he is, he wonders if this makes him crazy.

He grieves over Deku dying so young, so alone, so horribly. It gives him nightmares, he can’t imagine the pain of having all his organs crushed down from the inside, and yet he’s some how intimately aware of its possibility. He debates looking for the autopsy results, maybe if he confirms it was asphyxiation and not internal blunt trauma the nightmares will stop. But you don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to.

He grieves over the dreams Deku never got to chase, and regrets ever playing a part in taking away the happiness a dream is supposed to have

He grieves over the Deku shaped hole in his life that seemed to grow with him despite only ever getting to know the knobby knees version, he can’t help but think with every achievement and milestone “you should be here”

He doesn’t hate his life, it just feels half lived.

Without Deku pushing his buttons and no god complex shaped alarm bells people were slower to reach out to him.

Without Deku to vouch for his good qualities people were a lot more hesitant to see them.

He still did make friends it’s just a shallower connection and he doesn’t make time for them

He becomes top hero but the victory feels hallow like there should have been more of a fight for it. Maybe he is crazy but it feels like it should have been Deku fighting him for it.

His saves are legendary and numerous, he’s never able to shake the feeling that there’s someone out there who needs him just around the corner

Between the nightmares and the anxiety clocking off gives him he probably gets less sleep than any hero before him, even Aizawa.

It was a short career

#softy answers #tw child death #tw child abuse #tw selfhate #tw grief #idk what else to tag #let me know if there’s any I should put up #I like talking about heavy topics but I want to help keep bnha a fun space for everyone #I am so sorry about how long I made this #I’m on mobile and idk how to make it do the read more thing

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waywardwrestlewritingwaif · 3 years

Text

The Call of the Wild Woman

Just some fluff featuring the green-haired goddess of NXT.

Pairing: Shotzi Blackheart x OFC

Word count: 2,412

Content advisory: brief sexual references, language

The first time I met Shotzi, I instantly liked her. We shook hands and she gave me this smile that made me feel like I was having a great day, even though there hadn’t been anything exceptional about it to that point. I was a little overwhelmed with all the people I was meeting, trying to get a sense of their look, their personality, their character, but I knew from our introduction that I was going to remember her for years, even if I never saw her again.

Of course, Shotzi’s a memorable person. Tall, tattooed, pierced and sporting that incredible acid green hair, it would be hard not to remember her. But I felt like I’d remember her vivacious eyes and confident smile just as much as the things that made her stand out from a mile away. My whole first day getting led around the performance center, I found my eyes drawn back to her whenever she appeared.

I had just been moved to NXT to take over as their chief makeup artist. I’d been working on Raw for close to a year when the position opened up and I’d been so excited and nervous about whether I’d get the job that I felt as if I’d barely slept for two months. My boyfriend and I actually broke up while I was waiting to hear back and I hardly noticed. We’d been struggling since his work had moved him out of state, and things had just sort of ended like a wave washing over a sandcastle. I wasn’t bitter but I was lonely. And that, along with my desire to show that I could run a team in high pressure situations, meant that I threw myself headlong into the new job. I tried to keep some time to see friends but work seemed more rewarding.

By the time I’d been there a few months, my circle of friends was largely made up of coworkers. There were always birthdays or barbecues or other things going on, and it was fun to be able to dish about work without having to explain a lot of background detail. I was enjoying myself. But, yeah, I was definitely lonely.

I dropped a couple of hints here and there that I wouldn’t mind being fixed up with any single male friends and a couple of the women made suggestions. A couple of the men did too. But none of it went anywhere. I was too busy and too awkward to make a first move and if any of the suggested bachelors ever thought to check me out on social media, it never resulted in a phone call.

Shotzi was always one of my favorite models. I loved transforming her from the natural beauty she was to the wild child who appeared on tv every week. And while we’d talk about work, she also had the greatest gifts as a storyteller, and the crazy stories to complement her skills. She’d been raised around bikers and conservative immigrants at the same time. She’d worked as a late night host for a horror movie tv broadcast before she became a wrestler. It was like she’d been born to perform and had found a way to do so while still being herself.

I found myself sitting at home, always alone, watching the silly and shocking horror movies she’d recommend to me, or tracking down music by bands she’d mention or whose shirts she’d wear. When she’d worked on tv, she’d developed a loyal following of teenage boys and girls who used to do everything from message her begging her to go out with them to sending her love letters and poetry to showing up outside the station in the hopes of meeting her. It sounded both creepy and sad but I sympathized a little with her starry-eyed fans. She was a kind of dazzling whirlwind of a person and, indeed, I was dazzled by her.

One day, I’d showed up at work after a particularly inauspicious Tinder date. The guy had picked me up for what was supposed to be coffee and a walk but had insisted that we stop by his friend’s place so he could get some pot. The three of us shared a joint and I assumed we were about to leave when another joint appeared. Being a lightweight, I declined but the two of them proceeded to smoke it themselves. Then the friend’s roommate came home from band practice. She pulled out her bong and that was getting passed around while she played us the hour-long piece of meandering prog that they’d created that day. All three of them seemed really entranced by what they could hear in the music, which I was pretty certain they were imagining.

About an hour later, my date and his friend started playing video games. I quietly tried to suggest that we leave and at least grab that coffee because I was clinging to the hope that maybe the guy, who was way cuter than I’d counted on, might have some redeeming qualities. He assured me we could leave in a minute. He and his friend were completely absorbed in their game, while the roommate randomly started telling me about how her mother had given birth to her at a Grateful Dead concert in the eighties, after following the band on tour for years. She didn’t seem to care much if I responded and would focus entirely on her phone every minute she wasn’t speaking.

Eventually, the roommate had begun to complain loudly that she was hungry and the guys agreed that we should order pizza. I handed over some money and advised them that I was a vegetarian, only to be surprised by a pizza that arrived looking like it had been fished out of a trash can, topped with pepperoni and cheese. I knew the place they’d ordered from and some quick math in my head made it clear that I had paid for basically all the pizza. They assured me that I could just pull the pepperoni off.

I was about to leave but my date insisted that we could head out in a few minutes to find me something I might actually want to eat. He was cute enough that I‘d agreed to stay just a little longer. A few more guys showed up to buy pot. Then friends of the roommate‘s had shown up with beer and put the stereo on so loud I thought the ceiling might cave in. I ended up leaving at eleven without even saying goodbye. When I got home, I realized that I‘d lost my house keys and had to ask a neighbor to help me break into my apartment.

I told this story to my coworkers to a chorus of loud “nos'' and peals of laughter. Others shared some bad date stories but this one did seem pretty dire. Everyone commiserated and it did make me feel better, like the night hadn’t been a total washout because I had a good story to tell and, as a couple of the girls pointed out, dates I had in the future were likely to seem pretty good in comparison.

“You should have taken some of the pot!” Shotzi exclaimed to a round of agreement.

“I wish I’d thought of that.”

It was a few days later that I was prepping Shotzi’s makeup and I noticed that she was a bit quieter than usual. She wasn’t unfriendly but there was something off.

“You ok?” I asked quietly, sweeping my brush out to give her the perfect cat’s eye flip.

“Yeah, I’m great.”

She didn’t sound great, or at least not in the enthusiastic way she usually did. I felt my neck getting tense as I tried to lead the conversation for the first time, knowing I wasn’t nearly as good at it as she was. I didn’t want to push her to tell me what was on her mind and at the same time, I felt like my forced smalltalk was probably grating on her nerves. I wanted to be entertaining but I lacked the stories and the flair.

Finally, when I announced that I was finished, she stood up just a few inches from me. I expected her to tell me to wish her luck, which I always did, but she didn’t move, her bright eyes focused on mine.

“Do you want to go out some time this weekend?” She asked.

“Like, hang out? Sure.”

She shook her head. “No. Do you want to go on a date with me?”

I sucked in a sharp breath, not knowing quite what to say. I fell back on the default. “Um, I don’t actually date women.”

“Oh.” She looked sad for the first time and a little surprised. “I’m sorry, I read some singles wrong. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“Not at all. I mean, it’s no big deal. I just… you’re gorgeous. I’m just not…”

“It’s fine,” she insisted, extending a hand as if to pat my arm but withdrawing it before she did. “Please, forget I ever said anything.”

Of course, I couldn’t forget that. In fact, I couldn’t even get it out of my head. I’d always dated men. I’d known women who were bisexual and lesbian but none of them had ever expressed an interest in me and I hadn’t found myself attracted to them. But Shotzi was attractive. She was stunning. And the more I thought about that first reaction I’d had to her, the more it seemed similar to the way I’d reacted to men I’d been involved with in the past. I just hadn’t noticed the similarity because she was a woman and I wasn’t into women.

But maybe I was into one woman.

She stayed friendly with me, although she didn’t linger as long in the makeup chair regaling me with tales of her rock ‘n’ roll childhood or films that had made her who she was. I hadn’t even realized that she had been lingering before. I just thought we’d been having great conversations. We had been having great conversations. Had I been sending the wrong signals?

I knew that I had marveled at how beautiful and unique she was. I’d gushed, really. But I’d been so floored by her that I felt like I had to let off some steam in the form of compliments or I’d never be able to focus on anything else. That didn’t change after the “asking me out” incident. The fact that I couldn’t release any of my thoughts made it harder to think about anything. I’d see her and I’d spend ten minutes feeling like kind of an idiot, then half an hour thinking about her chatoyant eyes, about the perfect heart shape of her face, or her full lips.

It was a few weeks later that I caught myself staring at her from the safety of the shadows while she prepared to go out for a match. I’d often stared at her body and I figured that it was because she had the kind of body that every woman wanted to have: perfect curves, toned limbs, smooth skin… Looking at her in that moment, though, I wasn’t so sure about my motives. Was I wishing that I had those taut thighs or was I wishing that I knew what it felt like to drag my lips along them, to feel her shudder at the sensation of my breath on her sensitive flesh?

Her match was thrilling, as her matches almost always were. She was whipping around the place looking completely out of control, although we all knew she wasn’t. The more danger she put herself in, the more she seemed to glow with internal electricity. It was no wonder that the company was already treating her like a star. You’d have to be dead not to get drawn in by her. But it occurred to me as I watched her that I was more drawn in than others.

When I saw her come backstage, I retreated to my makeup room and counted down what felt like enough time to allow her to unwind, shower and change before I made my way over to the locker room.

“Hi there,” I greeted her, a little shyly.

She glanced up and gave me a big smile while she patted her hair dry.

“Hey you.”

“So, if the offer is still open, I’d like to say yes.”

She arched her elegant brows and gave me a coy smile. “Now what offer would that be?”

“If you still want to, then, yes, I would like to go on a date with you.”

“Interesting,” she drawled. “What brought about this change of heart?”

“You did.”

She bats her eyes and points theatrically at her chest. “Moi?”

I couldn’t help but smile. The light in her eyes told me she was happy but she still wanted to make me work for it a little. Fair enough.

“Ever since I met you, I’ve found all these things- movies, music, all sorts of stuff- that I just never thought of checking out because I either didn’t know about them or because I just never thought I’d be into them. And the more I think about it, the more I think that I might have made a lot of decisions about what I like just because it was what I saw everyone else doing.”

“Well that’s cool, but I’m not a movie or a book.”

“No. You’re this incredibly cool, funny, exciting, sexy person who I love being around and who has me thinking about all sorts of things I hadn’t considered.”

“Ok. How would you feel about a midnight picnic at an old shack I found near the river?” She grinned.

“Will you hold my hand if I get scared?”

“I promise.”

I gave a little laugh and stepped closer to her, cupping her cheek in one of my hands and marvelling at how perfectly it fit there. Unable to resist the temptation, I leaned in and pressed my lips softly against hers. And immediately, a delightful shiver ran through every part of my body.

When we separated, she gave me an almost coquettish smile and laced her arm through mine, steering us out of the locker.

“You know,” I mused, “you don’t seem really surprised by this.”

“I’m not,” she responded with a wink. “I knew you’d come around.”

#shotzi blackheart imagine #shotzi blackheart fanfic #nxt imagine #nxt fanfiction #wrestling fanfiction #wrestling imagine #wayward wrestle writing

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thistangledbrain · 3 years

Text

Ok y’all, I’m sorry I’m having to catch up! We got a new foster in a few days ago - a particularly broken soul - and my mind has been *entirely* on him. But he’s settling in a little now, so here’s the last 3 days in one post ☺️

Autism Acceptance Month

Day 10!

“Sensory Life”

This is sort of hard to describe, but I’ll try! This is different from the next entry about stims, though both are sensory related.

It’s like being on microdosed ‘shrooms *all the time*. If you don’t know what that’s like, I’ll try to describe (this is collaborated with a friend who regularly does this - I don’t...it would probably be far too overwhelming).

Colors are far sharper to me & I emotionally react to them far more than most people. That results in some colors being genuinely offensive - not just “I don’t like that color”, but it will make me intensely angry or physically sick. This makes me curious about chromotherapy, but I haven’t really looked into it that much. My tolerance of certain colors can ebb and flow depending on my emotional state/mindset. (This crap is so sharp, I’m actually getting a twinge of irritation just *thinking* about my most hated colors LOL 😂 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Textures/skin sensations are another big one. (By now you may be asking, how TF did this chick manage Marine Corps training/exercises?!) I guess if you want something bad enough, you can shut down some of the overwhelming aspects of the sensory thing...this ability to disassociate probably isn’t what NT’s would call “healthy”, but it’s quite handy if you’re autistic, and those of us who have been through real trauma seem to be especially skilled with our ability to just shut off all circuits and “embrace the suck”). Like...I’ll nearly panic to get out of a store or something if my underwear starts feeling uncomfortable, but I’ve literally been soaked head to toe, covered in mud and sand in my *everywhere* (and I HATE SAND anywhere but on my feet) AND I pissed myself, because nobody’s gonna stop shooting/training just because you have to go potty 🙄), and I remember literally giving zero fucks about it...so it really is entirely a mindset thing. But let’s talk about when I’m NOT in “Marine mode” (cuz let’s face it, it’s been close to two decades since I got out, and I no longer HAVE to tolerate overwhelming sensations).

Sensory input is just basically dialed to 11 & the knob’s been snapped off. Bright lights, loud discordant noises, too much touching/not touching the right way, things like that. I am particularly sensitive about body hair (my own). I *strongly* prefer to have my head shaved on the back and sides (but I leave the top long). The only time I haven’t done this, was in the Marines (it was considered “eccentric” and not allowed, so they made me grow it out). Even though I leave the main part long, it’s *always* in a bun or ponytail - well, unless I’m super dressed up for something, but even then I prefer some sort of updo. Despite the fact that I like my long hair (well on the top anyway), I can’t *stand* the way it feels on my neck or especially my face - I HATE IT when my hair touches my face. If I wasn’t married...there’s a decent chance I’d just shave it all off and be done with it LOL 😆 My ponytail pulled through the back of a baseball hat is I guess what they’d call my “signature look”.

And you think NT’s have bad misophonia? *I’ve jumped out of a moving vehicle before* to get away from the noise of someone chewing loudly/smacking their lips in the back seat (he was a coworker and punching him in the mouth - which is what I DESPERATELY wanted to do - would have gotten me fired 😕)...but humans eating, or dogs licking their junk, makes me want to crawl out of my own skin. It’s mostly humans though....you have *no idea* the level of self discipline it takes to keep me from either rage crying or actually getting violent around someone smacking their mouth during a meal. I *cannot* be around my husband when he’s eating breakfast cereal even though he’s a very mannered eater - I don’t know why, but it’s *so loud* (and I’m terribly hard of hearing) - it sounds like he’s chewing rocks. It took us years to work this problem out LOL - he thought it was dumb that I had such a deeply emotional reaction. Then he tried to “chew quietly”, which all that did was slow down the rock tumbler inside his mouth 😂...gradually, for everyone’s sanity, we realized that cereal eating should not be done in close proximity to each other lololol....and now, when it’s time for family meals around the table, I’ve learned to either keep the range hood fan going (white noise is definitely my friend), or have the TV on. If it’s just mainly the sound of everyone chewing, I simply won’t eat at the table. I lose my appetite. (And all of my dinner guests/family are very polite diners. It’s MY hangup.) Phone calls are another big one. I could probably come up with several reasons why I hate it...I LOATHE it. This is one sensory hangup some people in my family just refuse to accept. I don’t think they realize I equate unexpected or immediately demanded phone calls to running naked though a mall or getting a root canal. Hissssssssss!! Give me some time to prepare myself for this shit please - you’re actually asking a *lot* from me. (And when I do have a call? Ugh I babble and am so awkward, because I’m so effing uncomfortable, which I also hate.)

But here’s an area where my “sensory overload” serves me very well:

Dogs.

I am usually *intensely* dialed into the energy and body language of an animal, but particularly dogs. I’m *so* sensitive to them, that I often actually can feel things even happening behind my back - can basically sense the energy in the area shift. (Roughly 75% of the time. I’m spacey sometimes too LOL.) The work I do with “behaviorally challenged” dogs is the biggest area where I am *grateful* for my autistic mind. I don’t think I could really do the things I do without it, successfully. (I can do this to a large degree with people as well, as can my youngest son. You cannot lie to that boy about your feelings or mood.)

We all have different levels of sensory sensitivity and different triggers, but every autistic I know has several “sensory hangups”. It often is one of our biggest hurdles to deal with, when it comes to “normal functioning”. So, many of us constantly have headphones (or muffs) on, some of us wear sunglasses *all the time*, etc (I wear a baseball hat - and I genuinely don’t like going anywhere where I have to get dressed up and can’t wear my hat. Been like that since my early teens. That hat shields me from all sorts of real and imagined sensory triggers.) You do what you can to mitigate, you know? But my “microdosing shrooms” and “knob dialed to 11 and snapped off” is really the best way I can summarize. (And that’s not all bad - my trips into a new natural space, like the redwoods, is an absolute *thrill*. I also occasionally love sensory overload - many auties do - like rollercoasters. My youngest son and I can ride till we pass out LOL!) So sensory life is love/hate, really....but I don’t think I’d change much about it.

Except the fucking misophonia. I hate that I go into almost a murderous rage over someone just chewing food loudly 🤦🏻‍♀️ - but seriously. It’s impolite anyway. Don’t do it. 😆

———————————————————

Day 11!

Stims

This is one of the biggest areas where neurotypicals struggle to understand us.

We all have stims. Stims are basically any stimulus that brings us joy or comfort. It could be rocking, flapping, walking in tight little circles, clicking your fingernails together, spinning, making weird sounds or whistling, etc. And it’s usually repetitive - that’s the part that gets on people’s nerves.

I’ve found that most *women* hide most of our stims. We only let go and stim our little hearts out when we’re alone. I do that, because some of my stims grate on my husband. Sometimes I don’t WANT to feel “watched” anyway...I’ve noticed males don’t have quite the same issue with that.

I have quiet stims I do to soothe myself, and happy stims. One of my quieter stims when I’m trying to soothe myself (like in public) is clicking my teeth, particularly my right canines. I also have this silicone bite stick I wear around my neck sometimes, that I chew on (my sons like the bite sticks as well). I carry a little bag of fidget toys in my purse, to soothe myself with when I’m stressed. There’s a thing sort of like a fidget cube, a little cowrie shell and twine bracelet that I fiddle with almost like a rosary, a small stuffed axolotyl (her name is Blossom), and a few other toys. My little stash also comes in damn handy when I encounter a bored child LOL!

One of my sons makes funny little sound effects randomly (and he’s grown & still does it). The other used to randomly shriek when he was younger - then he learned how to whistle, so he couldn’t say a whole sentence without punctuating it with little whistles (we actually thought it was adorable).

My favorite stim is putting my headphones on, putting on some favorite music, sitting with my legs crossed, closing my eyes, and rocking. I’m happy to TELL you about this stim, but it’s one I do alone, because I like to get completely lost in it and I can’t do that if I feel I’m being watched...and you’ll damn near give me a heart attack if you touch me while I’m lost in that world. (And boy does it irritate me to get yanked out of that before I’m ready, for some bullshit non emergency reason.) Better to just isolate myself (except my dogs are always with me). Another one I do alone - and I have no idea why i like it so much - is squeaking my bite stick across my teeth. (This one is weird to me because I usually HATE my teeth being touched...yes dentists are a problem.) This one I enjoy doing kind of mindlessly while I read, but damn would it irritate anyone in listening distance LOL...I mean, it would irritate the shit out of ME if someone else was doing it, because *other people’s* repetition, especially if it makes noise, gets on my damned nerves. 🙄 Figures lmao!

Stims can be damaging sometimes, though. Like I used to twist and twirl my hair when I was younger so much that the areas I usually grabbed were frayed and broken (I also chewed my hair sometimes). One stim I cannot break myself of even though sometimes it’ll make me bleed, is chewing the insides of my cheeks or my lips. That’s my most frequent (several times a day) one, and the one that is both gratifying *and* soothing. It’s also the one that’s hardest to suppress.

Some auties are either unaware or literally don’t care how you feel about their stims, but I am and do. I’d like to think I’m pretty “appropriate” *most* of the time with my stims and other people around, except the lip/cheek chewing. If my husband notices I’ve gotten pretty furious about it (even using my hand to push my cheek into optimal biting position), he’ll gently put his hands on mine to bring me back to awareness - if I’m gnawing away, I’m either super stressed or way lost in thought. Either way, I can accidentally hurt myself, so he gently guides me away/distracts me.

Stimming is an important part of Autie life and should not be discouraged unless it hurts Your Pet Autie ™️.

And if you’re looking for a neat gift for an Autie? They actually make stim toy packs. Get them one, they’re fun. ☺️ (Most stim toys are designed to withstand being put in mouths and bitten/chewed, too - LOTS of us have oral fixations.) And hey, even if you’re a NT, try stimming sometime (lots of normal people have stims, they just don’t realize that’s what they are - like nail biting. Bite your nails a lot? Get a bite stick!! God they’re so satisfying!)....

Happy stimming!

———————————————-

Day 12!

“Favorite Autism Charity”

This one is short and easy: ASAN. Autism Self Advocacy Network.

“The Autistic Self Advocacy Network is a nonprofit organization run by and for individuals with autism. According to its mission statement, the Network’s goal is ‘to empower autistic people across the world to take control of our own lives and the future of our common community, and seek to organize the autistic community to ensure our voices are heard in the national conversation about us.’”

————————————————-

Day 13!

“Family”

Well that’s kinda ambiguous, isn’t it? 😒

I’ll start with this tack:

Being an autistic mom with autistic kids.

I mean for years, none of us KNEW LOL - and maybe that’s what took me so long to get around to pursuing a formal diagnosis for my youngest. To me, for the longest time, he was just sensitive and different like me (same with my oldest, for the most part, but I’m pretty sure that was me buying into the “brilliant people are just fucking weird ok” mindset also), yannow? So it was like, “well mama always told me I’d have one like me & then know what I put her through” 🙄 My oldest got lumped into the “all bright kids are quirky” category - but as I learned about ASD through my youngest and myself, it became damn obvious the oldest was also in our camp. (He’s taken the prelim test now anyway, but is not formally diagnosed.) I genuinely believe that our “shared weirdness” binds us very tightly to each other - and I’m super pleased about that.

It brought a whole new level of understanding and awareness within our little family when we realized it was ASD I guess - and acceptance. (I 100% believe that diagnosis - or even affirmation - is critical to our self acceptance and understanding.) I wouldn’t trade my little family for anything, and consider myself remarkably blessed. I can talk about how complex and brilliant my boys are ALL day (and often do LOL). Hubby is neurodivergent, and can identify with (or at least sympathize with) MANY of our hangups....but he’s “normal” enough that he’s been able to guide us (mostly me) with things like how to use tact (not often a skill we naturally possess lmao). My heart breaks when I read posts by auties whose families either don’t understand or don’t accept them & are constantly trying to basically mute who they are. Auties “live out loud”, and some people find that off putting. I know growing up, I was constantly getting my ass chewed for being “dramatic” or too sensitive, too, so I shut down and hid my sensitivity far, far away. I’m only *lately* (last few years) discarding that silly tough girl mask. (I can still be quite the little wolverine at times, but I’m not afraid to show my soft sensitive actual self anymore...to stay soft in today’s fucked up world takes actual courage - a lot of it - and strength. I was looking at the concept of being “strong” entirely the wrong way.)

I swear my husband has lived with nearly as many phases and facets, as years we’ve been together. Sometimes I ask him if this ever bothers him. He says no, because who I am at my core never changes...and he grins and says “and you damn sure aren’t boring” 😂

But since I’ve known I’m autistic, I’ve given myself more freedom to discover who I am without these socially dictated parameters. And permission to be precisely who I am, without cringing apologies when the real me shines through awkwardly.

And my husband and boys have been there every step of the way, embracing me, as we do with them. ♥️

Yeah. I love my family. We’re some pretty cool people. 😁

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venting-journal · 3 years

Text

Well update time.

My half siblings and the rest of my family know about me now and most have been okay with it.

On the work front I had to quit the job I had when writing the last post due to medical issues. I tried working somewhere else, thinking it would be easier on me but it wasn't and my health started declining even further. I worked there for four weeks so I had nothing to protect my job and the last week I had an incident with a customer that lead to the worst anxiety attack of my life. My coworkers and manager said everything would be fine but my anxiety really messed with me after that. Eventually my medical issues were getting so bad at work that I couldn't see straight and would move around almost in a confused state like my mind couldn't keep up with what was going on around me. I left work early to go to urgent care and all they could do was tell me to take ibuprofen which helped with the pain but my mind still reacted as if it was there. I was then given the option of quitting and being able to apply again once my medical stuff was taken care of or I'd have to not miss any days or leave early or else I'd get fired and wouldn't be welcomed back. I decided to quit because I didn't want to lose a job opportunity for when I was better. Looking back on that job I realized how safety wasn't a concern to them (which is one of the reasons I ended up with my anxiety attack) so I won't be applying there in the future. Currently I'm unemployed but not receiving unemployment because they deemed my case as quiting for unnecessary reasons.

My health issues, as I believe I stated in the previous post, I believe were the result of a 3 inch cyst on my right ovary with the ovarian tube wrapped around it. I thought it was causing my pain and sickness and I went to the doctor many times prior to my last job and throughout it. They had me take so many blood tests I can't even remember the number but they kept finding nothing except for problems with my liver (fatty liver disease, unrelated to my symptoms). Eventually they sent me to a surgeon to hear his opinion on whether the sister should come out or not. He said it wasn't what he would consider big and that in a 3 months they'd check the size again to see if it was growing. It was but slowly and so he decided to go ahead with an operation scheduled on the 1st of March 2021. He informed me that the symptoms I was having were most likely unrelated to the cyst and that taking it out would most likely provide no relief. There was also concern that I had endometrioma (like endometriosis but in the ovary) which resulted in what is called a chocolate cyst (a cyst full of blood) because in the ultrasounds the ovary with the cyst on it was enlarged. My health continued to decline but wasn't as bad without the stress of work. My surgery went well and I actually had a funny moment when I came to because I couldn't speak (they had a tube down my throat during the surgery so it was very hard to speak once it came out) so I tried using what little sign language I knew to spell out "Mom". She was the one that came with me and I actually was able to leave fairly quickly. When I got back to my boyfriend's house my Mom stayed with me until late at night and my grandma came shortly after we arrived because they were worried my boyfriend wouldn't take care of me. When he came home from work he was surprisingly attentive which eased my family's worries. As the days progressed he became less attentive, probably because I wasn't in enough pain to take my pills, but I still could not move around easily and would get extremely dizzy randomly. Eventually my post Op came up on St Patrick's Day and the surgeon told me I was healing just fine and that I actually didn't have endometrioma.

Now with my relationship that's the day it took a turn. Despite getting good news and heading to my Grandma's for dinner my boyfriend decided once we were in front of her house to tell me he wasn't sure if he needed a break or if he wanted to break up with me. He said he only wanted me to have a safe place to recover from my surgery (I wasn't fully recovered, just recovering well) which gave the impression he had been thinking this for a while. He then left me there and because my Grandma was busy she didn't hear me outside so I was stuck out there alone with what he had said running through my head for a half hour. The night was pretty much ruined and it took me a couple hours to stop crying. He apparently went to go hang out with friends after he had left me and I asked him if I should move out to which he said yes. My family wasn't ready for me to move back in with them so he agreed to let me stay at least until they were ready. When he returned home we had a really bad fight that sent me into a panic attack and he tried to comfort me. He decided that he wanted to take a break and for the next two days he was very affectionate which confused me. He and his brother (the other person living with us at the time) left to go visit their Mom and that was when my family came to move me. I was officially moved out 4 days after St Patrick's Day. A week passed and he and I talked over text, I was still having a hard time coping, and he eventually decided we could hangout again but still be on a break. That didn't last long and we turned into a sort of long distance relationship. He wanted me to get a therapist and a job, saying I'd need them if I wanted to go on a trip with him at the end of the summer. Well after everything with my past jobs, the surgery, and my mental state I was too scared to start working again. I told him that I would get a therapist first and move from there which he seemed fine with at first. My search has so far been a failure and every time he would ask about it and I'd tell him I still hadn't found one he'd get mad. I eventually started telling him that I didn't want to talk about it with him and to please stop asking but he didn't. I tried to work on myself even though I still hadn't found a therapist and I felt like I was making progress although I had a bad day here and there. That brings us to last Friday, April 30th, and I was feeling insecure. With all the times he had dumped me before I was constantly on edge feeling like I had to do everything right in order to make him accept me. My insecurities got the best of me, through some of our texts he started to stop acknowledging me saying "I love you" and I got scared and upset. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and asked what was going on... That was a mistake.... He misunderstood and twisted my words thinking I was accusing him of ignoring me so we ended up in another fight all over a misunderstanding. He ended up dumping me again claiming I had been making no progress finding a therapist or a job and was accusing me of not trying. He accused me of using him as an excuse not to do it. I told him that wasn't true and that I was trying but he didn't care and didn't believe me but he still wanted to be friends.

Since then we've had more fights, me trying to explain how I feel about the situation and him ignoring it and saying it was just an endless cycle pretty much admitting he didn't have faith in me in the first place so he didn't try. When I pointed out all of this to him and told him how I felt he said I was just being mean and saying shitty things about him. We've kind of calmed down now although I'm still really upset and feel used and betrayed. Today I told him that if he really wanted to be friends I would try but now he seems to have changed his mind and says he needs time.

Overall things have been really shitty with a few good moments sprinkled in between. Every time I'd start improving he'd dump me and say I wasn't. It was very toxic and I told him I wouldn't deal with it anymore. I told him that if he wanted to be friends he'd have to work on himself as well.

Anyway I've been ranting for long enough. I hope anyone who actually reads this has a wonderful day/night.

#depression #anxiety #rant #rant post #update #medical #workinprogress #im just upset #don't take shit #family drama #deep breath #sad thoughts #im sad and angry #i'm angry

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moccahobi · 4 years

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Amor Erratur [Yoongi x OC]

Warnings: Angst, there was an illegal act but also it is a dystopian world?

Summery: Yoongi’s life was fairly put together. He would go to work organizing the raffles, talk with the one good person at his office, (Y/n), and marry whoever he was paired with. If only pesky feelings didn’t get in the way of it all.

Word Count: 5.2k

A/N: So... this is the first project that @btswriterscorner is doing! It is an amazing network with amazing people and I am excited to continue working with them! Be sure to check them out and the other works that are happening in the same universe as this one!

The monotone tap, tap, tap of office computers filled the air, and an overbearing stench of burnt coffee pushing everyone to keep working. Offices had the potential of being lively with everyone smiling and talking, but not Yoongi’s office. No, Yoongi’s office was a beige government facility that wanted everyone and everything to be utterly silent when possible. Of course it wasn’t always quiet but the cubicles were made of fabric that purposely absorbed sound and there were walls that separated the main social area from the main work area. Yoongi had been working at the raffle facility since he graduated high school and after almost five years of working in it, he had risen somewhat high up on the ladder.

Now he had the final say in the results. His job was to make sure that everything was in place and that there was nothing out of place. It was interesting to see, but Yoongi didn’t always do his job to the fullest of his abilities. One point he even saw a hoobae of his change his partner to be someone else. Not all of the results had much of a rhyme or reason and the original results of Yoongi’s hoobae was one of those results. As Yoongi was the final check, he let it pass. Later that month, his hoobae was transferred but Yoongi was glad the man got to marry someone he wanted. He wasn’t always that lenient, at one point he even had to report a hoobae for trying to alter a major result, but Yoongi tried to be lenient when he could.

With a sigh, Yoongi grabbed his mug and stood up. He had been working for almost four hours without a break and desperately needed more coffee. Of course Yoongi always needed coffee and if it wasn’t for Y/n coming by and refilling Yoongi’s mug with the burnt coffee the office always served, Yoongi would have had to get up much sooner that day. The idea of visiting Y/n while on his break made Yoongi get excited. She was a cool person to talk to. With that in mind, Yoongi took a detour on his way to the break room, heart speeding up slightly as he did so. He found himself counting cubicles before making it to Y/n’s, his heartbeat speeding up more and more (most likely from all the caffeine he drank so far setting in) until he made it to Y/n’s desk. She was laughing and talking to Mina, a coworker who started about a year ago.

“Hey Y/n-sshi, I didn’t say it earlier but thank you for the refill.” Yoongi said, interrupting whatever conversation the two were having. Mina was glaring at him, but he didn’t care. Yoongi never cared when he interrupted people’s conversations at work.

“No problem, Yoongi-sshi! I know how you run on it and I wanted to brew a new pot.” Y/n said with a smile that made Yoongi’s heartbeat pick up once again.

He tried to ignore his feelings though. He learned long ago that emotions, romantic emotions specifically, were not something one should have. They granted harsh punishments ranging from a decade in prison to death depending on where one lived. The tiny crush Yoongi had on Y/n would pass… even if he’s had it for almost a year now. It would go away because it should go away.

“Would you like a refill now? I am going to get myself more coffee too.” Yoongi asked, hoping no one could read his inner turmoil.

“She drinks tea in the afternoons, Yoongi-sshi. I’d love coffee though.” Mina said with a sneer like smile, her hand moving to rest possessively on Y/n’s shoulder.

“She’s right, Yoongi-ssh, I am trying to cut back in my coffee intake, but if there is any hot water, I would love some more of that.”

“Ok. I can do hot water.” Yoongi said with a smile before walking past and into the break room.

As soon as he entered the room and saw no one was there, he closed the door and let his smile drop. Mina was a fake and annoying bitch and most days he could barely tolerate her, given he could barely tolerate most people here. The job was cutthroat. Time and time again he saw coworkers get fired for one unknown reason or another. He even had a new supervisor after the last one was cut randomly before the new year. Yoongi had no idea how he had managed to last in the job for so long, his emotions occasionally taking him over. Which was something that was heavily frowned upon when one works in the government. He even missed a week or so after his mom died because he simply couldn't cope with his emotions the way his job required. He never understood why he was chosen for this job, many of his colleagues are emotionless on good days and Yoongi was simply... reserved. At times he had to be in order to survive in such an office. Yoongi had a fairly high up position and he didn’t doubt that if he showed emotion, his coworkers would be trying to get him in trouble for stuff. Except Y/n. Y/n was too kind and caring to do that… she would never do something like that. Soon enough he had a pot of coffee brewing and a pot of water boiling.

With that done, he looked out the window to see everyone working away in their cubicles. The office was dull and grey and everyone seemed to wear dull and grey clothes that made them blend in. It was like office camouflage. Soon enough, Yoongi found himself staring at Y/n, as he often did when he had a reprieve from work, who was typing away on whatever assignment she was now working on. She was one of the few people Yoongi got to interact with that didn’t seem borderline psychopathic. She was always friendly and helpful, and Yoongi loved that. Soon enough, Yoongi found his eyes slowly raking down Y/n's body, even if he didn’t mean to. She was very beautiful… which didn’t help his crush. There was even a possibility that a small spark of anxiety and hope ran through him when a new list of results came in at the prospect of him and her being paired. It most likely wouldn’t happen though. At least, that is what Yoongi told himself to keep his hope low.

He just... used the word love… for a person. Belatedly realizing this, Yoongi spun around and faced the stove, fear squeezing his heart. He had never felt such a strong emotion before. He barely felt love towards his parents. He never saw or experienced love outside of what he read in old books and movies he got to see in the depths of his grandfather's basement. It was whispered about in his seventh grade history class before the teacher talked about why such an emotion was suppressed and banished for the better of mankind. Never had he seen anyone express love though. Not even his hoobae who got to marry the person he wanted to be with. His government teacher explained that it was frowned upon and punished if one felt love. The teacher never explained how the government found out but spies were everywhere. For all Yoongi knew, the second he thought he loved Y/n his fate was sealed. He could be arrested tomorrow and never see his dad or his brother again. He wouldn’t die even if he was arrested though. South Korea didn’t put people to death because of emotions, they simply jailed them. Of course Yoongi most likely wouldn’t be jailed for thinking such a feeling. At least he hoped.

The scream of the pot brought Yoongi back to the present, quickly turning the stove off before walking out of the break room with it. He needed to keep himself calm and collected.

"Piping hot water for you, Y/n-sshi." Yoongi said with a smile, carefully pouring more water into Y/n's "This Coffee Makes Me Awesome" mug.

"Thank you, Yoongi-sshi. You didn't have to brew me a pot." She said quietly before turning back to work. At that, Yoongi made his way back to the break room, excited to have some coffee and relieved to be away from Y/n. She was amazing but Yoongi didn’t want people to realize his thoughts. As he waited for the coffee to brew, he found himself thinking about what it would be like to be married to Y/n. She would be an amazing partner. He could practically see her doting on him and laughing at all his jokes. Oh how he would love to be married to her.

Yoongi just so happened to get an email about needing to start on the raffle results for people born his year... which included Y/n. If they were both meant to marry someone... Yoongi could easily switch the names and get Y/n to be his partner. He was the last check so no one would have to know. Once the coffee was brewed, Yoongi had it all planned out. He was going to simply change the names if both him and Y/n were on the list. There was no way anyone would know. He quickly made his way back to his desk and went back to checking through the final list of raffle winners that was sent to him. Sure enough, both him and Y/n were on the list and he quickly moved his name down to be with Y/n and her original spouse up to Yoongi's original spouse.

With a sigh of relief, Yoongi leaned back in his desk and took a long sip of his coffee. Maybe he should quit drinking coffee too.

What a joke. He was almost 75% coffee by now.

The second Yoongi swiped in the next day, he felt like something was off. He just knew that some of his coworkers were looking at him more than normal and the air in the office felt stale today. His heart felt like it was having a cramp from how hard it was beating. Was this what a heart attack felt like? Maybe he couldn’t go into work today. He wasn’t having a heart attack though, Yoongi knew that. He was simply feeling paranoid. At least, that is what he told himself. He was feeling unwanted and illegal emotions and now he needed to stump them quickly or he could be jailed. He couldn’t be jailed though. There was no way for anyone to know that he was having these thoughts or that he did anything wrong. No one could know. He was safe.

Yoongi quickly got into his seat and logged onto his computer, hoping that none of his coworkers would notice him acting differently. There was nothing different about today. Nothing at all. Only, when Yoongi logged onto his computer, he knew that there was in fact something different about today. There was an email from his supervisor… that had been marked with a red flag of importance. It mocked him. Yoongi fucked up yesterday by changing those names and his supervisor knew. His dumb infatuation with Y/n was going to get him jailed. He would never see his dad again. Missed calls will be all that his dad will remember him by. Yoongi was doomed.

As Yoongi continued to read the letter, he got even more worried. His meeting was at 9 in the morning. Nothing good came from a meeting so early in the day. Plus, he only had ten minutes to prepare for his inevitable arrest. Was there some way that he could prevent it? Plead that it was an accident? Plead for his life? His heart was beating quickly in fear and if it weren’t for the fact that he was at work, Yoongi might have broken down into tears. This was the end of him and he didn’t want his asshole coworkers to catch on to Yoongi’s demise. Too many of them were working here after working in the jailing unit. They were quick to catch on to anything and everything that might be suspicious. No doubt they were suspicious of the growing sweat stains that were no doubt showing on his shirt. Any of them could have reported him yesterday and any of them could arrest him today.

Y/n gently setting a mug of coffee down at his desk brought Yoongi out of his reprieve, her smile momentarily releasing him from those anxious thoughts. She was smiling at him as she set it down. Yoongi quickly took a sip of his coffee and nodded at her, not able to focus on anything but his meeting that was happening soon. He needed to prepare for that as best as he possibly could. Y/n hung back as if she wanted to say something to Yoongi but Yoongi had no time for any social interaction even if it was from Y/n. Especially if it was from Y/n.

He pulled up a random document on his computer to act as if he was actually getting work done so that Y/n would leave him alone. For all he knew, the document was about a project he did last year, but Yoongi didn’t need to actually read it. Y/n left shortly after Yoongi opened the document and for those few minutes Yoongi had before meeting with his supervisor, Yoongi tried to come up with a valid excuse for altering the results. None of them seemed to work and before he knew it, his time was up.

Shakily, Yoongi got up and slowly made his way towards his supervisor’s office. Each step made his feet feel heavier and heavier as if telling him that he still had time to run and go on the lamb. His life didn’t have to end here. Yet Yoongi didn’t turn around, and soon enough the golden plaque of his supervisor’s name was staring him in the face.

Namjoon.

His supervisor’s name was Namjoon. Namjoon was the name of the man who was about to seal Yoongi’s fate forever. Yoongi took a deep breath in, the office air feeling heavy in his lungs. He needed to relax. Stealing all his strength, Yoongi knocked on Namjoon’s door firmly. If this was the end of his freedom, he wanted it to end with him acting brave.

After a faint “come in”, Yoongi entered. The inside of the office was shrouded in shadows and there was some faint, high pitched noise that seemed to emanate the whole office. In the middle of the office was a large desk that commanded the whole room with nothing on it apart from a lone lit candle. It wasn’t until Namjoon cleared his throat that Yoongi finally looked up to see his supervisor. In the dark, Namjoon looked much younger than Yoongi expected. He might have been Yoongi’s age or a little older. This was the man who would punish him for doing wrong. This man would lead to Yoongi’s demise.

“How are you doing today, Yoongi-sshi?” Namjoon asked, his voice gruff as he looked Yoongi over before looking down at a file.

“I… I… I have had better days.” Yoongi finally settled on, feeling his nervousness grow higher by the minute. Why in the world was Namjoon asking such a simple question.

“Makes sense. You have been in this department for how long?”

Yoongi coughed, “I have been working here for almost six years now. Although you have my file. You should know th-”

“Why did you accept this job Yoongi?”

“I didn’t have a choice. This was the only job that came up when I did the job test in high school.” Yoongi shrugged, worry building as Namjoon kept speaking. Why was he asking so many questions? He did something illegal and he was going to jail for it, right?

“And did you go to college before working here?”

“No.”

Namjoon nodded before getting up and walking over to a file cabinet in the corner of the office. He hunched over the cabinet, quickly thumbing through many files before pulling one out. In two steps, Namjoon made his way back to the desk and set the file down.

It was Yoongi’s.

“From what I have read of you, you seem to be very smart. So tell me, Yoongi-sshi, why in the world did you think it safe, let alone smart, to alter the results from the raffel?”

Yoongi’s gut dropped, this was exactly what he was worried the meeting would be about. His worst nightmare was confirmed now. He was going to jail and it would be the end of him.

“I… I… I don’t know.” Yoongi finally got out. Despite all the attempts of thinking up excuses, he had nothing. Nothing he could say could get him out of this situation.

“You don’t know, or you won’t say because it could be more incriminating?” Namjoon asked, leaning forwards and looking Yoongi dead in the eyes. His stare was piercing. It made Yoongi want to shrivel up in his seat and hide but at the same time, there was something about it that seemed to be curious.

“I… I don’t know.” Yoongi finally got out, his words a mere whisper in the room. He looked down at this point, too scared of looking Namjoon in the eyes and him understanding what he meant.

“You see.” Namjoon started, his voice as quiet as Yoongi’s, “I think you do know why you did it but are just scared of incriminating yourself. I understand that. Thing is, I am on your side Yoongi. I… am not one for the current regime. I won’t turn you in… but I want you to do something.”

“Are you blackmailing me, hyungnim?” Yoongi asked, not believing his ears.

How could his supervisor say that! Yoongi didn’t agree with the regime either but they had ways of keeping people silent. Yoongi barely even dared to think of anything that was too radical because he has heard stories of people thinking illegal things and them being taken away.

Namjoon laughed, “I am not, Yoongi-sshi. It is ok to talk here. I have set it up so their bugs can’t listen in. Before we talk more… I need to know, why did you alter the raffle results?”

Should he believe Namjoon?

Could this all be a lie?

Would it even matter? Yoongi most likely had a life sentence already. There wasn’t much more punishment that could happen if Yoongi talked about his feelings or government distaste. South Korea didn’t have the death penalty.

“I… I did it because I love Y/n. I want to be with her.” Yoongi finally said.

It was a strange feeling to finally voice such an emotion. His whole life, it had been frowned upon to feel this way, let alone speak about those feelings and here he was voicing his love for a coworker to his supervisor. It felt good though.

Namjoon nodded and leaned back in his chair at that, “That is what I was hoping to hear. Sadly, I got a letter from my higher ups that we needed to remove five random couples from the list and you and Y/n just so happened to be one of the couples on the list. I hope you don’t mind. They would have checked it themselves anyways.

“Now, what I need from you,” Namjoon licked his lips and leaned closer once again, “I have ties to the revolution… I want you to do some work on the side to help the revolution. What do you say?”

“What?” Yoongi asked, not fully registering what Namjoon was asking of him.

Namjoon sighed and shook his head, “I want… no need you to do some work with the revolution. If you want to be with Y/n in a romantic way, you will help. If you want anyone else to even have the chance to feel what you are feeling, you will help. It would be small stuff. Volunteering with kids and planting ideas of love in their heads. Tiny stuff.”

Yoongi nodded, barely able to keep track of all that was happening inside his mind. One minute he was scared that his life was over and now he was being asked to join a revolution? How had his day changed so drastically? This was absolutely not what he expected to have happen today.

“I… uh… how does that help with a revolution?” Yoongi asked, his mind still stuck with the idea of him not going to jail. He was going to call his parents the minute he got home from work. It was too long since they talked.

"It makes people want what we preach to them. Never underestimate the magic that stories and care can have, Yoongi-sshi. Now, get out of my office and continue working. I will be sending an email to you some time today about the next meeting you have to do." Namjoon said, dismissing Yoongi with a wave of his hand.

"Wait-- I have to meet another person before I can start working?" Yoongi asked once he stood up, "Why can't I just get to work?"

"The revolution doesn't let just anyone's help. We will not risk the safety of our fellows without doing checks first. Now get to work Yoongi-sshi." Namjoon said, getting up himself to grab something from the filing cabinet. Yoongi didn't stay around to see what Namjoon was going to work on next, instead opting to get to work. He had cold coffee and a large number of requests to sort through himself.

Yoongi sat anxiously in one of the booths at a dark and grimy bar. His hands were limply resting by his sides, not wanting to touch the table and whatever had made it sticky. Namjoon had emailed him that fateful work day and that was how Yoongi found himself in the bar booth, waiting for someone named Jeon Jungkook to meet him. Anxiety made Yoongi come half an hour before Jungkook was said to meet him. Some hoppy beer sat in front of Yoongi but he could barely stomach more than three sips. The bar was in a low income area of Seoul where many manual laborers lived but almost everyone in the bar seemed to be celebrating one thing or another. All yelling happily and ordering more drinks than Yoongi might have ever drunk. The noise was shocking and a wave of pain ran through Yoongi every time some new person entered as the drunk people shouted a cheer. Yoongi watched as someone sauntered across the bar and made his way towards his booth.

Was this man Jungkook?

He was in a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt but both of them seemed almost too small for him as his muscles were very visible through them. If this was Jungkook, Yoongi had no idea what many other people in the revolution looked like. Were they all strong and scary looking? Before Yoongi had much time to think more about those in the revolution, the man sat across from Yoongi. It was Jungkook. Jungkook's black hair shielded his eyes from Yoongi, but he had no doubt that Jungkook was giving him a once over. A shudder ran down Yoongi's spine and he felt himself shrivel into himself.

"Yoongi." Jungkook said, his voice softer than Yoongi would have expected.

"Jungkook?" Yoongi asked, forcing himself to sit back up and look Jungkook in the eye as best as he could. It was hard, especially when Jungkook opted to keep staring at Yoongi instead of speaking.

They must have sat there staring at each other for a minute before Jungkook cleared his throat and started talking, "Thank you for meeting. Sorry it took me so long to get in. They didn't believe my ID."

"Why wouldn't they?" Yoongi asked, raising an eyebrow at Jungkook.

"I look young. That is besides the point. Namjoon thinks you will be a good addition to the Seoul section of the revolution. Do you think you would be a good addition?" Jungkook asked, reaching across the table and stealing a sip of Yoongi's beer.

Yoongi let him, too nervous to even drink it.

"You have shit taste in beer by the way." Jungkook added, pulling a face from the bitterness of the beer.

Yoongi let a tense laugh loose at Jungkook's comment before starting, "I don't know why Namjoon thinks I am good for the Seoul section... I think I would like to help though... love is a great feeling... I have only felt it a little, I mean I think I have only felt it a little, but I want people to feel free to feel love. Love is a good emotion..."

Jungkook nodded and ran his fingers through his hair. Yoongi saw his eyes for the first time and was once again struck by the gaze Jungkook was pinning Yoongi with. If looks could kill, Yoongi might have been dead.

"And how do I know that you aren't going to snitch and try to get money from ratting out the Seoul chapter?" Jungkook asked, taking another sip of Yoongi's beer.

"I... Why would I?" Yoongi started, "Namjoon found me doing something illegal too. If I even tried ratting myself out I would get jail time as well."

"That means nothing to me. Blackmail or not. " Jungkook scoffed.

"You'll just have to grow to trust me then." Yoongi said with a sigh.

What was he supposed to say to a stranger? Never in Yoongi's life has he had to keep such a secret and now Jungkook was asking for proof that he could keep it? Yoongi had no idea what he could possibly say.

"I think I am willing to trust you, but if I even hear that you are attempting to rat us out, I will find you and hurt you myself... or better yet, I will hurt your precious Y/n." Jungkook said, taking one final swig of Yoongi's beer before getting up, "You'll be emailed a date, time, and location for the first part of your work."

Before Yoongi could ask any more, Jungkook had disappeared into the crowd and Yoongi was once again left alone in the dark and gritty bar.

Was this the right place? Yoongi had no idea but the longer he stood outside of the orphanage, the more stares he got from random people who were passing by and Yoongi hates getting stared at. The building was a monotone and sad looking grey and it made Yoongi wonder if the inside looked as depressing as the outside. He hoped not. The idea of children being stuck in such a depressing place made Yoongi’s heart ache.

“Are you the new person Jungkook sent to read to the children?” Someone asked walking up to Yoongi with a small smile on her face.

She wore a simple pair of blue jeans and a large manilla sweater. Her black hair was pulled into a low ponytail, frizz sticking out all over her head. Yoongi felt over dressed in comparison to her even though he was simply wearing khakis and a polo. He didn’t have time to change after work. He didn’t doubt that by the end of this program he would feel gross, but after seeing the look of the outside of the building, Yoongi didn’t mind. If reading stories to the orphans would bring them happiness, he would do it willingly. They need happiness.

“I am. Yeah. Name is Yoongi.” He finally said, slowly walking into the orphanage with the woman in tow.

“My name is Gi . I have been working here for a year now. I can show you around before the children get back from school.” She said, sliding behind the front desk and grabbing a key, “I am glad that you decided to come a little early. It gives me time to not only show you around but also how to set up for the reading.”

“Wait-- I am here early?” Yoongi asked, not even bothering to ask why the children were arriving back from school so late in the day.

“About half an hour early.” Gi said, walking over to a side door and unlocking it, “Let me guess, though. Jungkook said that this was when you had to arrive?”

Yoongi nodded, following Gi as she led the way into the living quarters of the orphanage. They were as dull and grey as the outside of the building save for the occasional motivational poster.

“That is so like him.” She laughed quietly, “Please continue to come early. It does help with setting up. Anyways, this is where we will mostly be.” Gi started to explain what they would be doing and how to set up.

There was a closet full of pillows and books that Gi and Yoongi would be using. His job was to get the children to relax after a long school day and then help them with their homework if they needed it before cleaning up. It would most likely be a simple job and for the first time since Yoongi was in high school, he felt excitement towards doing something. This excitement didn’t fade after one day of work, nor after volunteering for a whole week. That weekend, he and Gi met up to plan the next week and he felt even more excited. The pattern of working there in the afternoon and evenings on weekdays and planning with Gi on the weekend continued for two months and before Yoongi knew it, he found himself anxiously waiting day in and day out for the time he spent with not only the children but also Gi. His days were bright and colorful even though he worked and volunteered in such grey places.

It wasn’t until he came back from a bathroom break and saw himself admiring Gi help a middle schooler with their math homework that he realized he no longer felt any love towards Y/n. Maybe all Yoongi felt was a strong infatuation but he had never experienced such a strong emotion before that. Yoongi leaned against a wall and smiled at the scene in front of him. Children were playing and working together on homework. In the center of it all was Gi: a wonderful and caring woman who also happened to be part of the revolution. In the time Yoongi has spent with her, he got to know so much. She was in a loveless marriage to a man thrice her age who eventually became a close friend of hers. Her husband and her had a kid who was now two before he passed due to a heart attack. She worked as an editor in some large and boring newspaper. There she met another friend of hers who eventually got her to work with the revolution.

She was an amazing person with a large heart.

Yoongi cast a glance her way before slowly walking over. Maybe he liked her romantically. Maybe she was a reason Yoongi wanted to believe in the revolution. Maybe he would walk to the ends of the earth to be with her. Yoongi chose not to think about that right now, instead getting onto his knees and helping another kid near Gi.

He could get used to this work.

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dimensionwriter · 5 years

Text

Light in the Form of Darkness

Part 2

Gender Neutral Reader x Genderless! Black Hole

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I'm on a roll this week. Woohoo, let's go!!

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Every since the black sentient black hole confessed to you, they slowly became apart of your everyday life. Waking up in the middle of the night to pee and turning the lights on to see a black mass sitting in the corner. Walking down stairs and seeing something black speed by in your perphipal vision.

You're not going to lie, it was scary as hell getting use to this thing. It was okay when they just stayed in the shadows or corners, but now they are constantly moving around. You instantly had to explain to them how it was scary to see a black thing moving in the background of the house.

It took them a while, but they begin to understand. So now when you wake up, they anounce," I'm in the corner. Do not show any fright." Or they would wave their hands or arms in your direction if you walk past. They didn't understand it fully, but at least they were trying.

Coming home from a long day of work, you were actually looking forward to seeing your buddy. You actually found out some exciting news today from a coworker that may interest them.

"Hey, Noir. I'm home," you yelled kicking off your shoes. You walked into the living room to see a they were sitting on the couch with a laptop on their lap.

Another odd thing they started doing was wearing random clothing articles of yours. Their excuse was," this way it will be easier for your human eyes to see me. It would be pretty useless if I try to present myself in a humanoid shape and you can't see it."

You felt that it was just an excuse to wear your clothes, but you just went along with it.

Today, they were wearing one of your blue button up shirt with a pair of green socks. Their fashion sense did not exsist at all. They wore what they felt would be good for the day and went with that.

"Ah, human. Welcome to your home," they mumbled softly with their body still hunched over the computer. You dropped your bag next to the couch and jumped on it with Noir.

"What got you so interested? Usually you stay away from electronics," you question trying to peer around their arm. They spun the computer around and you were met with a black image with an organish redish ring in the middle.

"Humans finally got a picture of a black hole. I would give your species congratulations, but…" they drifted off as they spun the computer and started scrolling through the article.

"You okay, Noir?" you asked rubbing their clothed shoulder. An exaggerated sigh came out of them as they closed the computer.

"I have a strong negative emotion for this black hole. Like, every negative matter that resides in me wants to go against them," they growled gripping the computer. Their fingers weren't a 100 percent human looking. Inead of a smooth rounded tip, it came more into a point at the end.

"Why do you not like the black hole? I mean, shouldn't you be happy about this." You tried to understand where they were coming from, but it was kind of hard. Was it hatred or maybe they couldn't put a name on the emotion? They confused emotions all the time.

"It's… humans are celebrating just a picture of a black hole and…I'm here just moving, thinking, and learning… and this other hole just sits there and is now going down in the history books as the first seen black hole. I've worked for so long to be who I am and this thing does nothing and gets all the glory," they rambled getting louder with each sentence. Quickly jumping off the couch, they begin pacing infront of the couch.

Ah, they're jealous. I guess seeing something get all the credit when you worked your best to surpass them, could leave a sour taste in the mouth.

"Well, I'm sure when your time comes, the scientist will probably have a stroke out of happiness and you will get all the praise you deserve," you stated sincerely giving them a giant smile. They stopped pacing and turned towards you.

"Of course they would. You humans go crazy every time something exceeds your low expectations. Oh, I can't wait to see those faces of… well I don't think it would be correct to pinpoint one emotion for that situation. Humans express quite a wide range of emotion."

A small smile appeared on your face seeing their mood improve. They can get frustrated quite easily which usually overwhelms them. And you're kind of scared of what would happen if they were to have a break down.

"Your face looks nice when it does that smile thing," they stated leaning towards you. Heat soared up your neck into your cheek. "Can you raise your arm? I want to make body contact with you, but I would hate for your skin to make contact with me."

Passively complying, you raised your arms up and they plopped down on the ground infront of you. Their arms snaked around your waist and leaned their head onto your stomach. Getting a hug from them was always the oddest thing. They never really felt hot or cold, just a comforting presence there.

"It's dissatisfying not being able to make contact with you. I apologize for my instability preventing us against it," they murmed digging their face into your stomach.

The first time you made contact with Noir was quite an experience. You were cooking breakfast and Noir wanted to watch. So you asked them to pass you an ingredient and your hand accidently brush theirs.

You didn't think anything of it until Noir left out a soft," oh no." And you turn around to see Noir's figure crumble away and melt into a blob on your floor.

You went to ask if they were okay, but the chair they were on, but is now under, slowly started sinking into their mass.

It took 5 minutes of them muttering and your chair slowly sinking until they were able to slitter from under your chair and go into the corner of the kitchen.

They were okay, but you couldn't say the same for your chair. It look like it got smoothly cut in half and only one piece of it remained.

That incident helped the two of you learn that Noir became unbalanced during contact. But you learn that it's only skin to skin contact that results in them loosing their control. If they're touching your clothes it's fine.

"I wonder what your hands feel like. I've heard that human skin are quite delicate. So I imagine they could be soft or maybe a little rough from years of living," they mumbled to themselves while sticking a hand up. You lifted yours up, but kept an inch between your hands.

"Well, the same goes for you? What does a sentient black hole feel like? I imagine it to feel like static," you said dropping your hands onto their back. You rubbed the fabric gently, hoping they could feel it.

"Maybe," they muttered slowly relaxing more into you. Their head dropped onto your lap as they continued to kneel infront of you. This could get uncomfortable after a while.

"I'm doing the smile thing." You stopped your hand movements as you looked down confused at them.

"What?" You asked laughing a little. They sometimes did this. They would just say something randomly with so much confidence that it made your brain freeze trying to understand it.

"You always do that human smile thing when you are suppose to be showing happiness or content and I feel happy and content at the moment, but you can not know this without reading my mind. So, I decided to express it in a term you know."

"So, you're smiling," you said continuing to rub their back. They nodded their head causing them to slide down your lap.

"I'm doing the smiling quite big. I like it here with you. I would even inquire that this is the best place to be in the universe," they spoke freely. You tried to fight down the blush rising up your neck and trying to make its way to your cheeks.

"How about I go put on more longer clothes, so we could cuddle and watch some movies? How does that sound?" you asked. A low hum purred from their body and vibrated through yours.

"I would like that very much, but that would require you to move. Which is something I don't desire for you to do. I'm conflicted," they muttered sadly. Their hand reached up and was placed against your side. The edge of their sharp fingers begun to twirl your shirt.

"It will take me at least 3 minutes," you snickered out lifting your hands off them. A high pitch whine came from them startling you. You didn't know they could make that sound.

"I want to go with you. But previous interactions of me going where you are undressed has led to you getting angry at me. So, I understand that I will have to stay here," he said in the saddest voice. Are they-are they trying to guilt trip you?

"Noir," you whispered poking their back. "We can watch some space documentaries. And I'll let you tell me all the places where they are wrong."

Noir's weight disappeared off you. You looked around the room trying to spot them.

"Please hurry. I will go find knowledge of which channel has a space documentary showcasing," their voice echoes around you. Guess they aren't in a physical form anymore.

"Okay, be back in 5 minutes," you yelled out loud getting up. A black figure appeared in front of causing you to jump. Their eyes were actually visible right now, telling you they were feeling emotional.

"You stated that it would only take 3 minutes. But your previous statement changed it to 5," they spoke quickly with urgency. Where they upset over it?

"It just came out. I don't know the exact time, but I know it shouldn't take long." Their posture still seem to be stiff and their form seem to be loosing it's humanoid shape

"Did you know that each second for a black hole feels like an eternity," they said randomly. Their arms crossed infront of them as they turned slightly away from you.

Was it really? Maybe that's why they always seem upset when you have to go somewhere. Time must flow different from them.

Then it clicked into place. Their statement. Their tense posture. The way they kept glancing over at you.

"Stop trying to guilt trip me, Noir," you said laughing a little. You didn't know Noir had it in them to do that. "I'm sure a few minutes won't feel that long."

"When you're away, time seems to slow down, but once you return, that's when everything seem to go by so quickly. So, in conclusion, time flows differently for a black hole," the said with their usual high amount of confidence. You could even guess that they had raised their head up on that last statement.

"That's called missing someone," you said softly. They didn't understand what they were feeling and it could confused them. But somtimes, it was actually kind of adorable.

"Well, you are absent when this happens, so I guess the term missing could be used," they stated slowly. You were tempted to stay that it was an expression, but you just wanted to let them be. They might try to use it for their new found powers of guilt tripping.

"Okay, now can I go change? And to help the time go faster, why don't you go make a little snack that we can eat when I come back," you said rushing it out, trying to give them less time to think.

"Fine, but after 5 minutes, I will check to make sure that nothing bad has happen to you. I would prefer if things I like don't get damaged." Their eyes seem to glow brighter at the statement.

"Okay," you said weakly failing to keep the blush down. They always drop heartfelt statments randomly, giving you no time to prepare.

"Now, hurry. And can you bring me one of your hoodies? I feel you can't see me well in this attire."

You can see them pretty well with those clothes. But you knew it was a simply excuse to obtain more of your clothing.

"Fine. Be back soon," you yelled running around your couch. You slide to a stop and turned back around. "Oh, and Noir."

The black hole turned around slowly towards you. Their fingers were rubbing against the fabric of your button up that barely reached their thighs. Their head tilted to the side in confusion at your call.

"I do miss you too when I'm away from you. That's why I always try to return so quickly. I want to spend as much time as possible with you. So, dont worry. I feel the same as you do," you said putting all your unspoken emotion into it. You just hoped they understood.

"Go get change!" They yelled turning away from you. Your heart dropped at the statement.

Did they just reject you? You thought you were reading the signals correctly, but apparently not.

"Oh, sorry for bothering you," you whispered trying to keep your emotiond in check. You are so stupid. This is a sentient black hole. Why would they ever want to date a human like you?

"No, your statement didn't bother me. It just made me…desire body contact from you, but I can't without you being properly dress," they rambled turning slightly towards you. Something was different.

Their usually dark abyss skin was now covered in these white freckles. They matched the colour of their eyes, but were glowing brighter than it.

"Are you okay, Noir?" You asked taking a step towards them. They nodded their head and lifted a hand to their face. "You sure? You have these sort of freckles on your face."

"Oh, those are quite normal. They appear the same way as the red colouring on your face does. It just a simple chemical reaction to your statement resulting in small fractions of light to be seen under my skin," they said lifting a hand while rubbing it into their face. The light slowly dimmed the more they rubbed it.

"It looks quite cute on you," you compliment with a smile. A small yelp came form them before the freckles became even brighter.

"Stop, you're making it worse," they whine using both hands to furiously rub at their face. A small smirk came onto your face.

"Well, not as cute as you look in my clothes. I was thinking of buying you your own, but seeing how adorable you look right now, made me change my mind," you purred in amusement as the lights became even brighter. It actaully look like they had stars on their face.

"G-go get change," they stuttered out loudly before disappearing. Laughter erupted from your body as you replayed the image of a blushing Noir in your mind. They are so adorable.

It's reasurring that they can get just as flustered as you do from their words. Sometimes, they just are too good to be true. They truly bring so much light to your life, even if they represent the ultimate form of darkness.

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I know I'm late for the hype of the firdt picture of a black hole, but I wrote half of tjis when it happen. And I still liked they story, so I still wanted to publish it. So yeah, here's another story with a sentient black hole. Please COMMENT what you think of this and my ASK box is open to all. You can ask me questions about my characters or about myself, or even try to submit ideas for stories. In fact, I recieved this great story idea that I plan on working on. So don't be shy.

Any way, thanks for reading my works. I really love to see how much positive feedback I get on my works. It's really a boost in my confidence of my writing. I know I have a long way to go before I can be considered good, but this is a lot of good practice. So thank you guys for that.

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dzamie · 4 years

Note

🍑🍆. 6, 13, 14, 21

Hate to disappoint your emojis, but I’m a top, even if I'm not dominant all the time.

From this ask meme:

6: 3 things I like about myself physically, and 3 mentally.

Physically: a) I’ve actually got a good-looking body. I could definitely stand to be stronger and less stringbean-like, but, like, I’d fuck me, or at least do some sort of mutual voyeur thing. b) No allergies! I can eat whatever the hell I want and not break out into hives. As long as I’m not eating poison ivy or something stupid. c) I can just sort of. Walk for hours. On very little energy. Come home exhausted from a day of standing at work, decide I’m bored after sitting for half an hour, and go out and walk around for an hour and a half listening to podcasts.

Mentally: a) My ADHD is a blessing at work. Can’t focus on one stimulus? No problem, there’s like eight that I’m supposed to acknowledge the existence of. b) I’m bisexual, which means I have so many more people and characters to be attracted to. c) I successfully went through a cringe-culture phase and emerged out the other side with a feeling of “y’know? that’s kinda bullshit, I like enjoying things more than I like hating things.” As a result, I’m quite happy opining my love for vore and lewd stuff!

13: What’s your favorite comfort food?

Delicious subby prey I’m not sure I have one, actually. Mint chocolate things? I fight negative emotional imbalance with eurobeat, touhou, and brony songs. Not so much food.

...actually, ironically, that does kinda make “delicious subby prey” my comfort “food.” I rp eating someone and doing so calms me down (or gets me worked up, but in a far more enjoyable manner).

14: Favorite feel-good show?

Tough one. It’s a toss-up between AtlA and MLP:FiM. I think I’ll give the edge to FiM, though, because I can just tune into any episode randomly and get cute ponies or other creatures doing cute things, often with a happy song.

21: if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

“Make time to be with friends.” From what various customers and coworkers say, success is like 80% “who you know.” Nobody gives a crap that you were on the highschool math team, unless you were on the math team with them. That black belt it took you years to earn means absolutely nothing but you used to be good at pushups. 90% of what you learn at school will be entirely useless in any given job. You might as well make friends, have fun with them, and hope that one of them will end up knowing an opening in a tech company.

...heh, that ended on a down note. This is why I don’t usually do introspection.

Thanks for the asks! You’re quite fun to interact with :P

#asks #kitsoran #text

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kaffeinic · 5 years

Text

Stray Kids Doctor!AU

Skz doctor! Au with some kind of romance please as a reaction

- Anon

I’m not entirely sure how to make this a reaction without a specific scenario, so I’ve turned it into more of a headcannon thing. Hope you enjoy!

ALSOOOOO I’m sorry that some members entries are much shorter than others. I tried my best, it’s not a bias. 😊 If you so happen to find gifs of the members in their doctor jackets, please send them to me~!

Bang Chan

Definitely going to be Chief of Medicine

I say this because the Chief is typically the one with the most experience and is highly capable of teaching the other doctors in the hospital

Which we know he would do on a moment’s notice

Probably specialize in diagnostics or orthopedics

And I say this because he seems to piece together many ideas really well

Which is great for diagnostics

And as for orthopedics....

You’re gonna kill me for this joke but

“I’m just a nice guy who has a lot of money.”

Sorry *cough*

Called in for the more difficult cases because he still needs to manage everyone else and can’t dwell on simple matters

Everyone looks up to him and comes to him for help

Whether it’s personal or professional

He’s always glad to help

Always the one clocking in the most hours in the hospital

Because, as we all know

This boy runs off of nothing but oxygen and cherries

Because they “reduce the risk of cancer”

Part of me wanted to make Chan a sleep medicine specialist

If you know

You know

Woojin

I’d say he could be an amazing oncologist

Why?

I know that I don’t have a way of knowing this for sure

But I feel like he’s good at giving news in a calming way

Whether it’s good news or bad

And there’s a lot of bad news in oncology

(For those who are a little lost, oncologists specialize in cancer.)

He is also a very dedicated person

And oncology patients tend to be in and out of the hospital for years

The only thing I’m not sure how well he could handle is the deaths

This boy would probably get attached

Even if he’s trying not to

But aside from that

I see him being an awesome oncologist

Lee Know

He was kind of difficult for me if I’m being perfectly honest

Most things I thought of for Minho I already chose for someone else lol

In the end

I think he could be a good ophthalmologist

(An eye doctor.)

First off

And probably the least important part

The patients would have no problem looking at this man for long periods of time in an appointment

*ahem*

Secondly

Ophthalmologists deal with a large range of ages in patients

I can see Minho getting an impatient middle aged businessman out quickly

And I can also see him being gentle and patient for a ten year old who is scared of the big machines

If anyone feels a little insecure because they need glasses

I know I do

I feel like he would notice immediately and give them a well-mannered compliment

Which would help a lot

All in all

Very good at his job

Changbin

He would make a phenomenal physiatrist

(Physical medicine and rehabilitation)

I say this because he is constantly working out

So he knows how to do it without hurting himself

I feel like he would happily teach others

He would patiently help someone get on their feet after a strenuous surgery

He would be ready for the long haul with a patient who needs an extreme amount of help

He’s strong af so he could catch someone before they fall

Which sounds all romance-y without me trying to make it sound like that

He would work out alongside you so that you don’t feel singled out or alone

After the patient’s recovery

He would be beaming if he bumped into you again at the gym

High key proud of you and of himself for the fact that you’re still going

Hyunjin

For Hyunjinnie, I’d say pathology

He’s not too outgoing

As I’ve said before lol

And many pathologists spend hours in dark rooms looking through microscopes

Not gonna lie, I almost posted this with the word telescope instead of microscope lmao

He would be very attentive with his work

Which he would need to be because we all know he would have many admirers

Again, another reason he would enjoy pathology

The lab would become one of his favourite places because of this

His coworkers would really respect him because of his accuracy

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him reading books a lot in the back of rooms

Which I’m sure he would do during his lunch break

Even on his break, if someone comes up to him needing results quickly

He would run back in the lab to help

Because that’s just who he is

Han

1000%

Pediatrician or family medicine

He’s just so warm and inviting

This works well for most children

And puts most others at ease which is important

It’s also known that Jisung is very dedicated to his work and can concentrate really well

So it’s a nice duality

He can act all crazy and energetic to make people happy

Then turn around and stare and a clipboard for twenty minutes figuring something out without breaking concentration

I also get the feeling he can work really quickly which is good when large families want to get out of the hospital

I’m so sorry that this one is so short, I can’t think of anything else 😭

Felix

Dr. Felix Lee

The psychologist

He just seems SO easy to talk to

Whenever I read things that fans have said about him from fansigns

He seems to help them open up in a short amount of time and they leave happily

It just screams psychology to me

He could even get those stubborn patients who don’t want to be there to open up

He would also be good at psychology because he is not quick to dismiss others’ problems

It really makes it hard to want to talk to your psychologist if they make you uncomfortable by constantly dismissing you

At the same time

He will be able to be an unbiased third party and get to the bottom of your issues

Whether it’s something that requires medication

Or just a change by you and your behavior

Regardless

He would help you through it and make sure that you’re ready for the world

As a side note

Imagine randomly bumping into him at the store between meetings

He’d probably crack a dumb face and make you laugh before carrying on

Which would make you that much more comfortable at your next session

Seungmin

Don’t @ me on this because I’m not 100% sure

But I feel like with the way Seungmin acts

And how smart he seems

He must be really good at math

Which leads me to believe he would be a great anesthesiologist

Why?

Anesthesiologists have to constantly calculate just how much of each drug to put in the syringe to keep someone knocked out for the entire surgery

One slip up and things could go a little sideways

He also doesn’t seem too overly outgoing

And most anesthesiologists don’t really interact with the patients or their families much

As far as I know lol

And I feel like he could low key keep people a little entertained during the surgery

By which I mean making some sly jokes

Because this boy can be a savage

And sometimes a patient is just a little too much

He definitely wouldn’t speak out of turn though

Extremely respectful to his superiors

For this, most of them like him

Which is definitely advantageous

I.N

I know a lot of people said Jeongin should be a pediatrician

But I just don’t see it

For only one reason

Unless this cutie is smiling

He looks like he could frickin murder you

(Not an insult btw I think it looks cool.)

Anyway, that just doesn’t seem good for a pediatrician

Which brings me to say that he might do well in geriatric medicine

(To explain, medicine for the elderly)

The elderly still require the gentleness that children do

But they’re much less likely to get scared away just because someone doesn’t automatically look warm and inviting

As we all know

This boy is so sweet

All the grandmas would love squishing his cheeks

And he would happily oblige

Because he’s just so darn cute

* DISCLAIMER: I do not own any gifs/photos used in this post. I do own the written content. Do NOT repost/edit. *

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7-wonders · 5 years

Text

Baby Love

Summary: You find out you’re pregnant, and now comes the hard part: Surprising Michael.

Word Count: 1385

Author’s Note: Content warnings for pregnancy and talking to Satan, but other than that we’re good! Feedback is always appreciated, and if you want to be on the taglist I’m creating shoot me an ask!

You’re officially two weeks late, and you’ve never been more excited. You didn’t want to get your hopes up the first couple of days that passed with no sign of your monthly curse, but something deep within you knew that this only meant one thing.

You know the symptoms, had seen them all throughout high school when those poor girls would get knocked up by their childish boyfriends who would proceed to abandon them when news got out. So when your breasts were tender and sore, your mood was constantly changing and you’ve been finding any opportunity to nap, you were suspicious but not hopeful. Who gets pregnant the first time they try? Usually it takes months, according to various friends and coworkers who have told stories of themselves or some family member struggling to conceive. Plus, all of the recent stress with your marriage to Michael and the end of the world could have easily explained some of these. It’s only now that you’re starting to think you might be pregnant.

You’ve kept your recent changes in behavior to yourself as best as you can, not wanting Michael to get his hopes up. From the numerous times he’s caught you asleep on any random surface (the other day he found you napping in the kitchen, where you had been looking for a snack) and the moments where you’d randomly snap at him, you can tell he knows that something’s up. Luckily, there’s a doctor in the Sanctuary who agrees to see you immediately, although she really doesn’t have much of a choice.

Sitting eagerly on the exam table, you watch as the doctor comes back in with the results of your blood test. Even though you really wanted to keep this from Michael in case it was a false alarm, you wished you had his hand to hold on to when your blood was being drawn. You look at her expectantly, waiting for her to start speaking before you burst.

“Well, Mrs. Langdon, congratulations.” She says with a smile. Your eyes immediately start to well up with tears as you grin.

“Seriously?”

“You and Mr. Langdon will be having a new arrival in a few months! How wonderful, a new life for a new world. And from our savior’s bloodline, nonetheless!” You nod awkwardly. You hate when people go on about Michael being ‘the savior’ and when they treat him like royalty, but you kind of get it. These people have devoted their lives to following Satan, and so to get to be a part of the Antichrist’s rise must be exciting for them.

“How far along am I?” You ask.

“I want to do an ultrasound to confirm and check on growth, but from what you told me I’d estimate you’re six weeks along?”

Twenty minutes later, you’re out the door with pamphlets on what to expect and ultrasound pictures. You can’t stop staring at the grainy black-and-white photo, a single little dot representing the life growing inside of you. It’s almost crazy to imagine, and your mind is buzzing with all the possibilities. Little cherubic babies with heads of blond curls and fair skin fill your imagination, and your hand flutters above your abdomen.

Once you’re back to the underground apartment that you and Michael share, you’re faced with uncertainty. Do you tell Michael? You’re so early in your pregnancy, what if something goes wrong and you lose the baby? Your anxiety rises and you find yourself getting nauseous, so you decide to talk to someone you never thought you would have a conversation with.

“Um, hey Satan, it’s me, your daughter-in-law.” You say quietly. You’ve seen how the followers ‘pray’ and how Michael talks to his father, so you’ve decided to communicate somewhere along those lines. “Listen, I’m sure you already know this, but I’m pregnant. It’s Michael’s, of course.”

You huff out a nervous laugh. “I feel so stupid right now, I don’t even know if you’re listening. But, uh, I’m really nervous and I really want this to go well. Michael’s been so stressed with bringing about the apocalypse, and he’ll be so happy to have a baby. I really don’t know if you care for the lives of people or however that works, but it’d be really awesome if you could just watch out for your grandkid and make sure they get here safely? Thanks. And thanks for bringing your son into my life, he’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

You remember one last thing to add. “And please don’t snitch to Michael! You’re the only other person who knows besides me and the doctor, and I want this to be a surprise. Okay, thanks for listening, you can go back to ruling Hell or whatever.” You sigh, falling back onto one of the lounge chairs.

“Stupid. That was arguably one of the stupidest things you’ve ever done.” You mutter to yourself.

“Who are you talking to?” You look up at the door to see Michael smirking at you.

“Nobody, just talking to myself.” He strolls into the room, crossing over to give you a proper greeting.

“Is this how you spend your days when I’m not here? Just talking to yourself?” He teases you, smiling when you chuckle and shake your head.

“No, sometimes I argue with myself too.” You retort. Michael lifts you out of the chair so he can sit with you on his lap.

“How are you feeling? Is it getting easier to stay awake?” Michael’s convinced that the excessive sleeping is a sign that you’re extremely sick with something.

“I slept in late today and only took one nap, so yes?” He frowns slightly but nods, stroking your hair out of your face.

“Are you hungry? I think the kitchen staff has dinner ready.” You are hungry, but today’s events have exhausted you and you’d rather stay in and eat, a request that Michael obliges.

“I did go to the doctor today.” You state after the staff delivers the food. Michael raises an eyebrow and looks at you.

“Oh? How did it go?” He starts to hand you a glass of wine, but pulls away when you wave him off.

“Hold on, it might be easier if I show you. Close your eyes.” He’s got a confused smile on his face, but closes his eyes anyways. You rush over to the dresser and grab the ultrasound pictures you had stashed, almost bouncing with excitement as you stand in front of him. “Okay, open!”

It takes him a moment to decipher what he’s looking at, and another to realize that it belongs to you. He looks up at you cautiously, almost not wanting to believe it.

“Are you…? Are we…?” He can’t seem to form sentences, so you nod and hand him the ultrasound.

“Doc said I’m six weeks along. Not sure if we just got lucky on the first try or if it’s your weird genetics, but it’s real.”

“We’re gonna be parents?” He breathes out. His hand is shaking when he reaches it out to feel your belly. You watch him curiously as his eyes widen. “I can feel their energy.” He says excitedly, pulling you towards him.

“How? The baby doesn’t even have ears yet.” You wonder.

“It’s still there though, this little ball of life.” He says, touching your flat stomach.

“What’s it look like? The energy?” You ask him.

“It’s like-it’s this little ball of blue light. It’s so tiny, but it’s there, (Y/N).” You grin, sliding to your knees so you can be level with Michael.

“You’re gonna be a dad.” You whisper to Michael, kissing his cheek.

“And you’re gonna be a mom.” He replies. Your heart swells when tears start leaking down his cheeks, using your thumbs to wipe them away.

“Aw, don’t cry, Michael!” You laugh. He pulls your hands off of his face before kissing each one.

“I’m just so happy. You’ve given me the greatest gift in the entire world.” He kisses your lips before moving to kiss your stomach.

“I love you, Michael. Our child is going to be so loved.” The dinner lays cold and forgotten on the table as you and Michael spend the rest of the night talking about your future with a new baby.

#michael langdon #michael langdon imagine #michael langdon imagines #michael langdon x reader #Michael Langdon x you #ahs #ahs apocalypse #ahs imagine #american horror story #american horror story imagine #American horror story apocalypse

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fourangers · 5 years

Text

Some bad porn can turn out to be good (2/3)

Summary: “Why are you watching porn on broad daylight and…is this…is this a blond guy fucking a japanese man?”

Who would have thought that porn watching could have such enlightening results. NaruSasu, blow job, anal sex, mutual pining without angst, Comedy, Romance, AU working in an advertisement agency. Some InoSaku.

AO3 link | ffnet link

Chapter 1

AN: We might probably get bunch of technical terms inside advertisement agencies since I’m taking advantage that I work in this field ayyy. It won’t take too long. Why did I write an AU related to my work? Errrr…'cuz I'm too lazy to research a job I'm not familiar with? Hohoho . This chapter there’s blow job.

⏤.⏤

“We’re going to enter a competition.”

Everyone managed to keep a poker face, even though they were groaning inside.

The CEO of the agency continued his speech. "It's going to be tough, but I swear if we win it's going to be very worthwhile. The client wants to make an annual campaign, aiming to boost the sales by giving prizes to their clients.”

“So it's the usual being part of a club, earning points that converts to goodies thing.” Sasuke muttered.

“Yes…but they also want to use this opportunity to expand their sales to other states. South and South-west is already guaranteed that most grocery stores have their products, so they want to concentrate on Center states, North and North-east. That means they are willing to spend about 1 billion to any ad agency that will get this case. The presentation is scheduled on the next month, where we need to showcase the whole yearly strategy, alongside the Key Visuals within each season and a spreadsheet about budget planning.”

This time all the workers grimaced in varying degrees of expression.

Shikamaru raised his hand in question. “So is the whole agency going to concentrate in developing this whole campaign on those following weeks?”

The managers in each sector glanced at each other before the Creative Director explained. “We will, but not entirely. We’ll organize planning, brainstorming fitting with producer analysts. Meanwhile, our art directors will be focusing delivering the daily jobs with our steady clients. When it’s your time to design everything, we already talked with our account managers who will ask for a longer deadline for more meaningless things, other jobs we will hire some freelancers to take care of it. Of course, there’ll be some that will require your direct attention and/or need to be sent daily like social media posts. There will be some days you’ll work overtime.”

The CEO hurried to add. “But we’ll pay the dinner, taxis and everything, and you guys can ask for some days off after that. You’ll have to negotiate with your respective leaders. Like I’ve said, I promise all that this is worth it, if we secure this campaign we won’t have any financial issue this whole year. If we win, I vouch that by the end of the year I’ll pay everyone a trip to Las Vegas all-included for a week.”

That caught everyone’s attention, with good bunch of people clapped and some hoot called.

Encouraged by his workers’ cheers, the CEO continued. “Also, on that day when they announce that we won, we’ll just drop the pen. No more work that day, everyone can go home and relax or join us to celebrate in a bar. So is everybody in?” Most enthusiastic employees and younger people shouted with excitement. “Good! So let’s get this started! Your management will explain more with details ok?”

“Alright.” Their Creative Director mumbled once all the team were in a room. “We’re still in the process to properly accommodate this whole mess honestly, so I have some bad news. Every art director needs to deliver the primary main Key Visual by the end of this week.” Naruto groaned, with other mumbled protests and grunts coming from his fellow coworkers. “And I’m going to keep things exciting here. This time I’m going to sort with a new AD/copywriter/planner team, to make the ideas fresher. First copywriters come forth and write your name here and put in the box, where I’ll select randomly with which planner you’ll be paired with. Then ADs will do the same and we’ll form the trio.”

This situation was all kinds of boring; Sasuke thought to himself, but his heart skipped a beat once he glimpsed blue eyes standing out of the crowd while he folded his piece of paper. His streak of good luck couldn’t possibly stretch this far, right, he’d be probably asking for too much at this point of the story.

“Last team will be…Sakura as planner, Sasuke as the copywriter and Naruto as the AD.”

Thank God in Heaven.

“HmmmMmmmmmMMmmm, well well well.” Sakura approached Sasuke, beaming widely as they both watched the blond man from afar. “I guess it’s about time you should restock your lube and some condoms, right?”

“Sakura.” Sasuke warned her, when Naruto noticed them and waved his hand, they waved back.

“What? ‘M just sayin’, you know, just sayin’...”

“Sakura, your weak attempts of gangster lingo is appalling, I advise you to keep your opinions to yourself and do not try to make any innuendos regarding me and Naruto. Knowing that dumbass, I’m pretty sure it’s going to backfire.”

“Hmm…okay, point taken.” She agreed begrudgingly, while they walked to pick the briefing. Naruto was already reading the content, and curled his lips upwards.

“Hey guys! It’s been a while since I worked with y’all right? I’m sure it’s gonna be great.”

Sakura nodded and smiled back. “So…what kind of KV you need to create now? Hopefully nothing too crazy.”

“Yeah, it’s not that bad.” Naruto sighed. “We have to create the main one that provides enough visual explanation about the campaign but since it’s annual, there’ll be secondary thematic KVs like Christmas, Black Friday, Easter and so on. So it has to have enough personality, but not that much so it’s customizable. That’s the whole trick.”

Sakura grimaced. “That sounds tough.”

“Right, by the way, now that I just heard Naruto…” The creative director chimed in. “No one is going to get extra brownie points if your KV is chosen, you’ll all send to me and people will vote solely according to their preferences, they won’t know who designed it.”

Naruto turned around, throwing a significant glance. “We’re gonna win this, obviously.”

Sasuke snorted. “Obviously.”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “Alright, the first KV is up to you two, meanwhile I’ll do some research about the client and this campaign, and share through e-mail.”

“Alright cool, thanks for the help.” Naruto grinned. “I mean, ignoring all the chaos we’ll face in the next few weeks, I’m excited to be working with you guys! We won pretty cool competitions together right.”

Sasuke was excited too, but for entirely different reasons. He noticed Sakura staring towards him with a knowing smile.

She said. “I’m looking forward to work with you too. Well, I got to go now.” She patted Sasuke’s back, messing with Naruto’s hair before she went away.

“Maybe we should re-read the briefing, see if there’s any info that will help us out.” Sasuke slid smoothly next to Naruto till their shoulders touched, vision focused on the piece of paper the blond man was holding, getting so close Sasuke could feel the steady breathing on his face.

Sasuke focused his gaze back to Naruto, noticing the raised eyebrows. Naruto muttered. “Ok sure, let me read it outloud for you. And then, I guess I’ll search for some references for inspiration then.”

Sasuke had less than half his mind to really listening with whatever Naruto was reciting, his entire attention aimed to see if the art director recoiled or showed any discomfort towards his close proximity. He actually appeared to be further relaxed instead, and this undoubtedly counted as a positive sign. Sasuke had been growing even closer to him in those latest days, but no matter how much he tried to imply he wanted to be included in Naruto’s possible dating pool, that dumbass was oblivious to it all.

He’s going to use this rare chance to make his point across, since his subtle signals went unnoticed.

Soon they finished brainstorming, Naruto groaned as they went back to their station. “Man, I just hope we won’t overwork too much. And if we win this account, I hope that the client is easier to swallow than most.”

Sasuke smirked. “All clients are hard to swallow. Just some gives you a different first impression once they were gliding through your throat.”

Naruto halted on his steps stupefied and retorted. “I can’t believe that an uptight asshole like you is spouting a dirty innuendo at any time you can get nowadays.”

“I see no problem doing so, now that we share a common interest.” He said in a monotone voice.

Naruto studied Sasuke for a while, before he shook his head and snorted. “You’re one of a kind, man.”

⏤.⏤.⏤

“Well! Now that we received all the material, as well as the chosen KV, let’s get started with our own work.”

“I guess…”

“Hn.”

“I’m excited to see all our ideas come together and trade some back and forth.”

“Hm…”

“Yeah…”

Sakura rolled her eyes and continued. “...anyways, I made a rough sketch about our part of the project, but it's nice having this brainstorm so we can come up with cool ideas so I can refine my planning.”

Naruto whined. “...man, I'm not looking forward opening Shika's psd file. He doesn't name his layers, doesn't organize into folders and for some crazy reason he knows how to find it himself. Honestly it's easier to find a needle in a haystack than navigate through his KV.”

“I still can't believe that he won this round. I mean, it's visually appealing for sure, but ours were good too.” Sasuke muttered. “Well, Temari is this client’s account manager so it's quite understandable. That man can create wonders for his girlfriend.”

“Yeah…bet that she promised one night of kinky sex and Shika is ready to move mountains for her. For a lazy guy like him, that's pretty impressive.”

“Agreed.”

Sakura stared in deadpan and sighed. “Alright boys, will you quit being such sore losers and focus on the job for a second?”

Naruto threw his head to the back with a sigh and Sasuke sniffed imperiously.

“Alright, since we’re responsible with the summer campaign part, I already searched some marketing activations done on beaches, as well as some we could do on music festivals.” She said.

“I already have some sketches in mind to the KV, but roughly it’ll be a lot of orange and blue colors. They are always a good contrast.”

“Noted, I’ll write some slogans with this in mind.” Sasuke said. “Oh, by the way, have you heard from Temari that they are asking around if a celebrity is interested to endorse our campaign?”

“Yeah, she told me that!” Naruto exclaimed. “At least they are going to hire some celebrity to substitute the guy in Shika’s KV, and I’m so glad ‘cuz that guy was like...super fucking pale.”

Sasuke opened the aforementioned picture on his laptop and mumbled, furrowing his eyebrows. “He doesn’t look that bad.”

Naruto craned his neck closer to him, switching between looking at Sasuke and the man in the KV and widened a mischievous grin. “Yeah, you’re right…he appeared that he actually saw the sun at least once in his life…unlike you.”

“Excuse me. I assure you that I fit in the criteria just as well as he would.” He rebutted, lifting his chin.

“What?!” Naruto guffawed. “You look like you never went to the beach once!”

“I do have indeed, I just take good care of my skin. Aesthetically speaking, I could be an excellent choice to represent this campaign.”

Naruto rolled his eyes. “You’re so fucking full of yourself. Yeah yeah yeah, we all know you’re a pretty boy, what else is new.”

“That while I may be a good choice, I’m sure you, instead, is on the other side of spectrum.”

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat⏤!!” Naruto protested. “I’m the perfect embodiment of summer, you asshole!”

“You sure? I mean, you always wear baggy clothes.” Sasuke smirked. “Maybe it’s to hide some beer belly under your t-shirt.”

The blond man abruptly stood up from his seat and yanked his t-shirt upward to show his lean, sun-kissed stomach. Sasuke managed to mask his total interest by resting his chin on his palm with a languid raise of an eyebrow. “See?! Feast your eyes with my sexy self!”

“I’m supposed to be amazed by this? I mean…I think I can see some belly fat over there.”

“That’s my six pack, that’s what I have you bastard! My abdomen is 100% sturdy muscle. You can touch it if you want.”

Don’t mind if I do. “Since you insist.” Sasuke uttered in the most bored tone he could muster. Licking his lips, he raised his hand, feeling the silky warmth once he brushed over the tanned skin. He noticed how it twitched under his fingertips, giving a rush of excitement through his veins. “I’m not entirely convinced, it feels pudgy to be true.”

“Pudg⏤you’re not doing it right, you should touch here, bastard.” Naruto grabbed his wrist to let his hand have full contact on the taut stomach, sinewy muscles and all. “See?”

“Ah...yes. I guess I do. Maybe.” Sasuke kept the airy voice, even if he was sliding down to each bump of Naruto’s abs, fingers skimming through the belly button. “I guess you did prove me wrong.”

“I did, right? Told you I was right.” Naruto grinned, puffing his chest.

“Hm.” His thumb caressed languidly his belly, graphite eyes zeroed onto blue ones. Naruto’s victorious beam faltered noticing Sasuke’s heated gaze, staring back with a little bit of hesitancy.

Sakura was torn between being amused and exasperated while she observed the unfolding situation. Dear Lord, it was almost like they had forgotten she’s in the room, wasn’t it? No wait, they probably were aware of her presence, since Sasuke had the look that he’d tear Naruto’s t-shirt apart if only she wasn’t there right now. She cleared her throat.

“Alright Naruto, now that you had your fun letting Sasuke grope all over your body, can we go back to the brainstorm we were having?”

Jumping startled, Naruto dropped his t-shirt in an instant looking exactly like a deer caught in the headlights. Sasuke however, glared at her for the unwanted interruption. Sakura smiled. They just make it so easy for her to tease.

Soon they focused on the task at hand, right on time when Naruto’s stomach started growling in protest.

“I guess that’s it for now, my boys. Ino and I are thinking about going to a restaurant close by. You want to tag along?”

“Thanks for the invite, but I brought my lunch box.”

“Hm, yeah! Me too, sorry ‘bout that Sakura. Next time for sure.”

“Sure Naruto! Next time.” Sakura threw a side glance towards Sasuke, a lopsided grin broadening on her lips. Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

“Please don’t tell me you’re eating Ramen Cup again.” Sasuke grumbled, while they were walking to the cafeteria.

“My dad actually nagged me about it, so I’m eating something else this time.” Naruto sighed. “Wow, I guess everyone already ate their lunch, this place is so empty.”

“This is not a bad thing, we won’t have to wait in line to heat the food in the microwave.”

Naruto perked up. “You’re right! We’ll be able to eat calmly and slowly.”

“Sure, and if we have enough free time, we could watch some porn together.”

Naruto rolled his eyes and grinned. “Yeah, doesn’t sound bad, we can even do some good ol’ hand jobs to each other while we watch, what do you think?”

“Not a bad idea, where do I sign up?”

Naruto swallowed dryly, shifting his gaze sideways to hide Sasuke’s piercing eyes. Rubbing the back of his neck, he chuckled. “You know, sometimes I really don’t get if you’re joking or talking seriously.”

Sasuke let his hand glide through the tanned arm. “Take off your pants and we’ll see.”

Naruto slacked his mouth, staring flabbergasted. “Yeah sure, let’s just skip lunch and do it right now.” When he witnessed the eager face Sasuke was making, he scoffed. “I’m kidding, you crazy bastard. C’mon, let’s get to eat ‘cuz I’m really fucking hungy I could eat a whole cow.”

Frowning, Sasuke obeyed nevertheless.

⏤.⏤.⏤.⏤

The drumming on fingers on the table followed the constant buzz of the coffee machine, stopping once it was done. He picked his mug, inhaling the nice fragrance and sighing while he went to his seat. Sipping in long, paused gulps, he observed blue eyes focused on the task at hand. His hand rested on Naruto’s thigh, but the latter didn’t show any significant reaction, either he was too busy to notice or he didn’t mind such close touch.

Sasuke inclined his whole body towards Naruto, his mouth settling inches from his ear. “Need any help?”

Naruto stiffened for a second, before dropping his shoulders. “Hm, yeah, actually…if it’s not too much, can you change your text with shorter words? So it’ll be easier to organize the blocks of text and make it more aesthetically pleasing.”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, but nodded nevertheless. Throughout this entire week where they were all huddled together, he made sure he used the most blatant flirting in his arsenal but even if Naruto recognized it (which is somewhat a showcase of evolution), he appeared to rebuff most of them.

Sitting on the table in front of them, Sakura typed non-stop, occasionally peeking on their interaction. This was so much more entertaining than those sugary drama series she and Ino would binge watch at night. If it depended on Sasuke, he would sit on Naruto’s lap and ride him all week, and he was very determined to reach this goal. She’d pity him if this appeared to be a lost cause, but she definitely noticed Naruto seldom glancing Sasuke’s back when he thought no one would see, eyes locked with a ferocious hunger adorning on his face, before returning to hide behind the monitor in haste.

Yep. Very entertaining.

However, this was probably the 4th or 5th night (or maybe more, they lost count) they stayed extra hours working on this project and their brains were already screaming for help. Sakura was yawning non-stop, Naruto was rubbing his eyes while he was erasing some background with his tablet, and even if Sasuke was the most resilient of the trio, he realized that he was rewriting his texts more than the usual.

“Naruto⏤” Sakura called, the blond AD grunted in response. “I’m done writing the marketing strategies. How much have you done so you can send me some layouts?”

Naruto dropped the pen, scratching his head. “Honestly, I think I’m going to take a while. I’m staring at the same shit for about an hour, and there’s still tons of other things to do on the list. I’m gonna wash my face, chug more coffee till I’m awake enough to do anything.”

“Alright, that does sound pretty ominous. I guess⏤” She stretched her arms and yawned. “I’m exhausted and I don’t think I’ll be much of a help staying any longer. Do you mind if I go home now?”

Both young men shook their heads and Naruto added. “Sure, you look pretty tired.”

“I’ll arrive early tomorrow to put everything you’ll do tonight. Just remember to put on the server before you go. And once you’re done, you two better rest well ok. I’ll talk to our boss that you were up all night and you’ll arrive late tomorrow.” She picked her purse and smiled. “Well, I’m out. You boys better behave!” She said as she threw a significant glance towards Sasuke, and went on her way.

Naruto was still had his hands busy adjusting the picture, so he muttered. “So. You’re almost done too?”

“Yes, I already send you the e-mail. But I’m going to stay until you’ve finished.”

“Oh cool, great. Actually, I’m happy you’re staying the night.” Sasuke widened his eyes, though Naruto grinned playfully. “In case I need your help to tweak other things.”

Sasuke scoffed. “Well, I have to be here in case I need to fix your screw ups.”

“You never waste an opportunity to be a bastard, do you.”

“Well, you like it. Anyways…” Sasuke sat on a chair next to the blond man, their legs bumping to each other. “Let’s check if the new text helps you out.”

“Hm.” Naruto opened the document and began changing each layout, seemingly unbothered by the close proximity. After a while, the blond man could feel eyes practically boring holes through his gaze, and he shifted around his seat. "Jesus man, do you ever blink?!"

"I'm bored." Was his nonplussed answer.

"Then go check your facebook, instagram, whatever."

"Not interested." Sasuke recited with the same droned tone.

"Check the news, go piss off some Trump supporters on the comments session."

"I've already exhausted all the latest feed."

"Well then…" Naruto shrugged. "You tried Buzzfeed?"

Sasuke gave him a look.

"What?"

Sasuke sighed, picking up his notebook. "Alright, I better let you concentrate on your task or we will work till sunrise." He smirked. "I could take a page of your book and watch porn."

Naruto laughed. “Please don’t.”

“...why?”

Because I’ll get hard if I see you jerking off. “Because reasons.” Naruto muttered.

“How eloquent.” Sasuke snorted. “Is the sight of a man masturbating such a turn off to you?”

“What? You know I like guys, why are you even asking this question?”

Just making sure. “So your problem surrounds exclusively to me then.”

Naruto almost bit his tongue, coughing. “No⏤no, no no no. I mean⏤” He coughed again, making an incredulous face. “Whaaaaat⏤noooo, where did you get this idea??”

Sasuke widened his smirk. “You didn’t give me valid explanations, so I have to make some assumptions on my own.”

“Yeah yeah well, you’re wrong, it’s really not what you’re thinking, you arrogant bastard.” Naruto grumbled.

“Hm. So you’re not even a little bit interested seeing then?”

Tilting his head to one side, Naruto said. “Seeing what?”

Sasuke didn’t answer his query, opting to type a very recognizable gay porn website, while he widened his legs.

Naruto’s jaw dropped. “No, hey. Don’t do that⏤we gotta, I gotta concentrate ya know.”

Smirking, Sasuke noted the slight panic in his voice. “So I do distract you.”

“Anyone would be distracted with porn nearby, that has nothing to do with you.”

“Oh? So you wouldn’t mind if I do this…” Sasuke adjusted on his seat, fingers sliding his shirt upwards.

Swallowing dryly, Naruto still managed to roll his eyes. “No, you look ridiculous and I really need to finish designing those pieces.”

Sasuke ignored him, clicking some random video and skipped directly to the good part. Naruto jumped from his seat when he heard a long moan, and threw a dirty glare despite receiving a nonchalant response in return.

“Really? Really?” Naruto groaned, placing his headphones on his ears and putting the loudest music possible. “Some people are actually trying to work over here, ya know!”

Sasuke picked his laptop, tilting it so the screen wouldn’t be facing the blond man. In this brief period of silence, he concentrated in moving an object in Photoshop, till he caught some movement on the corner of his eye. The dark blue shirt was yanked up, completely exposing Sasuke’s lean stomach. He reached the button of pants, opening and dragged the zipper down in an unhurried pace. Naruto drank on the sight of the dark grey boxers, noting all the shadows and bumps beneath it, revealing what was definitely a rather impressive size. Pale fingers glided over the smooth fabric, and Naruto just couldn’t tear this image away from his eyes. He licked his parched lips when Sasuke kept palming on his boxers, though it took to a sudden halt. Naruto almost bemoaned outloud until he realized that Sasuke was staring back at him with quirked lips.

Sasuke flicked one side of Naruto’s headphones, whispering. “Enjoying the show?”

Scowling, he hunched his shoulders. “Do you enjoy being such a exhibitionist bastard?”

“In most occasions, no, not really.” Putting his arm around Naruto’s chair, Sasuke closed in. “Only to few selected people I’m interested in.”

Sasuke studied how blue eyes widened vividly, mouth slack though they didn’t break the gaze trained to each other. Naruto appeared to fall in realization, hastily turning his head to look on his monitor. Sasuke’s fingers reached to the tips of blond hair, tucking it behind the ear before he cupped the tanned cheek, succeeding to let Naruto’s vision trail back towards him. He was getting so close, he could feel the heat emanating from the bronzed skin. When blue eyes were half-lidded, with heartbeats racing, he also shut his own eyes.

Naruto let out a very wide, epic and loud yawn.

“Oh shit. I’m so sorry. I⏤” Naruto yawned again. “I’m so fucking tired man, I swear. Sorry ‘bout that.”

Since the whole mood had evaporated to thin air, Sasuke released his face at once, going back to his seat and zipped his pants. “It’s okay. It’s already over 10 after all.”

“Yeah, I’m beyond exhausted. There’s not a lot of things left to do though, it won’t take too much of our time.”

“Fine.” Sasuke grumbled, in his usual monotone voice. “I’ll stop bothering you then.”

Naruto scratched his head, unable to come up with anything to disperse the dark cloud looming on Sasuke’s head. He returned to his task, a quiet air settle between them with the occasional help coming from the brunet copywriter.

“Alright, finally! It’s the last layout I’m doing today.” Naruto stretched his arms, groaning. “I still need to put all the images in the system, it’s going to take a while.”

Sasuke picked his smartphone, standing up. “I’m going downstairs for a quick smoke then, before it’s all done.”

“Yeah sure! Thanks a lot Sasuke.” Naruto beamed, with an acknowledging nod in return. Once the dark-haired man was out of his sight, he released a loud sigh. Thank God for his baggy pants.

Okay, now he gotta go to the bathroom fast. Sasuke usually spent long minutes for his cigarette break, so he better seize this opportunity well.

⏤.⏤

Sasuke inhaled a puff a smoke, glaring at the fallen ashes. Tonight all signs pointed out that he didn’t have any possible chance being involved with Naruto. Maybe it’s time for him to start giving up, even in the most blatant flirting that dumbass just yawned back at him.

Growling, his foot crushed the half-used cigarette to the ground, his bad mood escalating. He hated the idea of having to step down, but he also didn’t want to push his feelings if Naruto was uncomfortable.

This sucked. Sasuke sighed, walking back to the entrance. He couldn’t wait for this night to be over so he could just go back to his apartment and drink his sorrows away, or something like that. Anything to forget the twisting pain wrenching his heart.

However, once he was back to the ad agency, he noticed that Naruto wasn’t on his seat. He shrugged, walking towards the bathroom. Maybe he’d see the blond man drinking the twelfth cup of coffee in a row, rocking his body back and forth, he’d probably fall asleep while standing. The thought of this made him chuckle a little.

The kitchen was also empty. Sasuke resumed his steps towards the bathroom until he froze on the spot.

He heard a moan.

The pitch of the moan was very recognizable as well. And considering they were the only people left in this entire building and the voice was so deliciously familiar, Sasuke remained standing still, listening to the pleased grunts as it grew in cadence. He almost wanted to scream in frustration. This idiot just couldn't wait for a more appropriate time to do his business, could he? Now Sasuke was sure those moans will plague his dreams for the next few months for sure.

"Ah…" Naruto groaned in a way that shot straight to his groin. Sasuke bumped his head on the door, this dumbass was driving him insane. He better go away. “Ahnnngh⏤” Right fucking now. “Ah⏤Sa…”

“Sasuke…”

He did a double-take, shaking his head. He’s hallucinating, he must be. He probably had been wanting Naruto for so long that he’s hearing the craziest things.

“Ah yes⏤!” His echo brought shivers down Sasuke’s spine, chanting once again. “Sasuke⏤”

He barely registered himself banging the door open, brain gone haywire as he strode in fast steps to the half open stall. He heard Naruto’s panicked grunt, trying to close the door stall but he was faster, prying it open with a wicked smirk.

“Why, hello there. What do we have here?” Sasuke murmured, noting the flushed face, chest heaving heavily and even if the blond man was trying his hardest to cover it, he saw the thick cock jutting out of the denim pants. Sasuke licked his lips.

“Sasuke!! The fuck, you can’t⏤” Naruto still attempted to shut the door but Sasuke used his whole elbow to keep it open, quirking that infuriating sexy smirk of his. “You can’t just barge in like that! Get out!”

“Trust me, usually I wouldn’t bother myself snooping over anyone’s private moments but you called my name. And naturally, I just responded to such call.”

Sasuke saw Naruto clenching his jaw, though didn’t come up with any word of denial. His hard-on was still nestling in the midst of blond curls, so he succumbed the desire to touch it, tip of fingers flickering on the slit and earning a moan from Naruto.

“It looks like you’re in need of my help too.” He gradually let his hand wrap around Naruto’s cock, but only let it graze over it. “In any case you’re interested.”

Naruto hissed when Sasuke gripped his cock tightly, before releasing it at once. Sasuke was gradually lowering himself, with one knee to the ground. He kept teasing him with fluttering touches, brushing through the length and crumbling any remaining resistance. He wanted Sasuke for so long…and why is this bastard so irresistible?

“Well?” Sasuke caressed his inner thighs. “I won’t know if you won’t tell me anything dumbass.” He let out a hot puff of air over the sensitive head. “Naruto?”

Unsatisfied from the lack of response, Sasuke stood up. Sturdy hands seized his hair all of a sudden, growling close to his ear. “You better get there before I fucking lose my mind.”

Smirking undaunted, he continued to widen the distance despite seeing the incredulous blue eyes. He felt a grip on his nape, pushing him down even if he exerted some strength against it. His mouth was practically touching the head of Naruto’s cock, so he licked the beaded pre-cum, revelling the lustful gaze. The hand clenched around his hair when he sucked the sensitive glan, thrusting inside his mouth a few times before he glided it in.

Naruto tossed his head to the back, moaning. With one hand encasing the base, Sasuke’s tongue curled around the joint between the head and the shaft, slurping and encasing with his lips. How sexually gratifying this felt, with each suckle and light bite, Naruto would groan, hiss and curse loudly, crying out in dark pleasure. Their eyes locked together, Sasuke would swallow the cock, staring how those cerulean hue darkened in hunger. That hand was still holding his head in place, tightening in a vice grip and made him moan with his mouth stuffed around that hot flesh.

Without a sign of warning, Naruto shoved till his cock went deep through Sasuke’s throat. Sasuke didn’t deter him, just threw a defiant glance back. With his hand clutching the black strands of hair, he thrust his cock in Sasuke’s mouth over and over, the grip on his scalp with the salty flavor of skin blended in this spicy mixture of pain and pleasure.

His senses were already being overwhelmed by a musky scent, signalizing that Naruto was getting close. He released the cock from his mouth, stroking till one spurt of cum reached his face, bursting and flowing on his hand. Naruto was still heaving heavily, so Sasuke cleaned the best he could, tucking the flacid dick back to the orange boxers. He patted the tanned cheek, whispering close to the ear. “You want to continue somewhere else? My apartment is pretty close by.”

These sentences were enough to sober Naruto up, as he stared back with uncertainty and longing, before his eyebrows knitted in blazing determination. Feeling a little rattled about this sudden shift of emotions, Sasuke opened his mouth to question until arms enveloped around him, lips silencing him with a kiss.

Whatever was inside his mind just evaporated as Sasuke responded immediately, lips gliding and matching in a wet lock, his own hands reaching to hold Naruto’s waist. Soon his tongue slipped in, drinking the pleasurable grunt, consuming him, pulling him even closer. Sasuke inhaled sharply when their mouths parted for a second, coming together in increased intensity while Naruto embraced him tenderly, almost possessively.

Both men paused to catch their breaths, staring longingly to each other. Sasuke was acutely aware of warm fingers caressing his back, while his own hands wound up brushing Naruto’s cheeks. Blue eyes crinkled soft and open, approaching in an almost lethargic way, with his nose nuzzling his cheek till full lips reached his mouth.

Naruto was kissing him harder, unyielding, akin to some unnamed desperation that Sasuke returned in kind. His hands instinctively reached to Naruto’s t-shirt, craving to yank it out, but the blond man seized his wrists and pushed it down. Growling, Sasuke thrust his pelvis, however Naruto just remained liplocked, not touching anywhere that would provoke any sort arousal.

Naruto backed away, his eyes still brimming with affection while he combed the dark hair. He didn’t resist the yearning to brush those beguiling lips, capturing once again to a swift kiss. He released with a loud sigh, shaking his head. But Sasuke held his chin with his fingers to catch his attention, closing in with his teeth lightly sinking on the lower lip. Naruto yielded for a while, though his hands were already placing in between their bodies, slowly pushing away.

At that moment, nothing in the world mattered for Sasuke aside Naruto. He was ready to rip his heart off if necessary to keep him by his side, but Naruto uttered out:

“I think…we should really call our uber.”

That declaration was so out of left field that broke Sasuke’s line of thought. He muttered. “What?”

Naruto nodded. “Uber. We gotta call an uber. We’re pretty tired tonight right? We should go.”

Graphite eyes blinked, not quite catching the whole situation. He managed to murmur, his lips trying to reach Naruto’s but the latter deflected away. “We can go to my apartment, it’s close…”

“Yeah, um…” Naruto gently nudged Sasuke body off his lap, standing up. “I’m just⏤so fucking exhausted, I swear.”

“Naruto.” Sasuke clasped his arm. “But what about⏤”

“I know. “ He rubbed his eyelids. “I’m sorry, we’ll talk later. Okay? I’m sorry.” Naruto pleaded, gulping dryly. “I’m so sorry. I⏤” Sighing, he exited the bathroom with a thunderous noise from the door.

Sasuke took too long seconds to really absorb what happened, running in search of Naruto. Too late, he already exited the building.

What the hell just happened?

--.--

AN: Ayyyy what's this sudden angst? It's probably my fault lmao. Anyways...Hmm…while I was writing the beginning of this fic, I actually thought to myself if I didn’t embellish like it’s a cool place to work and it had so much cool prizes and recognition. So before anyone is changing their mind over their careers, let me tell you something: Most of the time, it’s a lie. And most ad agencies (at least here in Brazil) sucks. It’s changing pretty slowly, but it still sucks. You work overtime most of the time, recognition is mostly “I’ll pay for tonight’s beer” but no salary raise or bonus. There’s backstabbing involved too. Oh, and at least where I used to work, they won’t pay for those overtimes hours and even though they claim “you can rest another day”, it’s really complicated to negotiate the “I want to rest on x day”. The Las Vegas trip thing is real, but it’s something out of the norm, sadly. Also, the ad agency that gave such trip though, makes their employees work, like, twice the time. Anyways, like any job, it has its merits and its downfalls.

#NaruSasu #nssourced #sn fic #snstext #drabble

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