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fluffylino · 6 months

Text

worried!minho

minho wants to take away all your pain~

-contains mature themes

when were the cramps going to go. it was your second day of having your period. you had leaked through your pad and stained your clothes. now, you sat on the bed, swaddled up in a bedsheet while a random anime was playing on tv.

you were far too distracted to even pay attention to the dialogues. another sharp pain to your lower stomach. you huffed, wrapping your arms around your stomach. you curled up into a ball, adjusting your pad which had moved out of place.

minho's footsteps could be heard. he was busily moving about. from the kitchen, to the living room and then to check on you.

"how are you feeling, baby?" you jumped at the sudden appearance. he was standing beside you, looking at your bundled up figure with soft eyes. you let out a whine, lightly kicking your legs. you could hear his quiet laugh.

"mm' hurts" you mumbled, reaching your hand out. he took it, sitting close to you. he brushed your hair out of your face and leaned over you to take the remote. switching off the tv.

"still?" he seemed worried.

the thing was, it was rare for you to get cramps. you hardly ever got cramps that made you stay in one spot. on any other period you'd only feel a slight discomfort in your stomach. but today was different. you weren't used to it. and minho wasn't used to seeing you in such pain.

you looked at him through the bedsheets, only your eyes and mouth visible. his smile grew and he couldn't help but pat your head like you were one of his cats. which to him you were.

"i gave you a heating pad..we did some muscle relieving exercises and drank lots of water..what else could possibly work?" minho furrowed his eyebrows, his lips jutting out as he blinked. and blinked. and blinked-

"you know there is something that definitely works for sure. i was reading that orgasms help"

your eyes widened and then you slowly sighed.

well, that was true. but sex on your period would just end up looking like a crime scene. it made you feel confused. because yes, all the raging hormones were constantly at battle with your mind.

"but its icky and you'd probably find it...not so nice"

minho looked at you. "what makes you say i wouldn't like it?"

you were taken aback. did he really not mind?

"i don't think i want to do the...whole thing" you mumbled, shyly.

"so then should i try eating yo-" you screamed, pushing the bedsheet over him. shivering at how cold the room actually was.

"no no no" you chanted. that was not something you'd ever want to put him through, for the sake of your pleasure. you were aware of him. he didn't care about blood at all. in fact he was so chill about it. like the time you accidently stained his pants when you fell asleep on him.

he even washed out the sheets.

he ruffled around, throwing it on the ground. he scooted closer.

"should i finger you then, hm? that shouldn't be so bad, would it?" you nodded slowly.

"but what if i make a mess..again"

"i'll put a towel underneath"

"what if you get blood all over your fingers..."

"baby if i did mind it, i wouldn't have been so eager to suggest it"

he smiled. minho was ever so patient. always answering you with a reassuring statement whenever you fell down a spiral of unecessary thoughts.

"can you use gloves...?" you asked so softly, you had to repeat it for him to hear.

"whatever you want, baby. i recently just bought a whole new pack of gloves for when im marinating meat"

you smiled nervously.

"guess ill be using them to touch some other kind of meat" you pushed him off the bed. he gave you a sarcastic smile. your stomach doing flips at his expression.

you stood up, freezing when you felt a blood clot come out. there was no way you could do this. you finally decided on washing your lower body. so you did, carefully stepping out of the bathroom.

"take your pants off.." minho had come back, this time pulling the gloves up and over his wrists.

oh, so they were like the surgical gloves. the ones that fitted well...a little two well. his hands looked nice. they looked very nice in fact-

"what? you don't want the gloves? i don't mind" your eyes met his and doubt filled him. if only he knew what you were actually thinking about.

"i want it"

he had laid the towel down and you sat on it. you pulled your oversized shirt down, trying the cover up.

minho walked towards you, opting to sit behind you. his back resting against the headboard and your back to his chest. you felt a little exposed. he was fully clothed while all you wore was a t shirt.

you could feel his breath on your ear. minho's left hand rubbed on your stomach while his right hand slid between your legs.

he let out a surprised laugh. you knew you were wet. he could feel it. after seeing his hands in those latex gloves, you couldn't fight it.

"be a good kitty and open up for me"

you mewled at the nickname. lifting your knees up while he kept your legs open for him. he pushed a finger inside before slowly adding a second digit.

at this point you weren't sure if it was blood or slick or maybe both that leaked out onto his fingers.

"sorry" you apologized, you didn't even know why you were saying sorry. the pain in your stomach was the last the thing you were worried about.

"talk t-to me" you whispered, leaning into him. he lazily grazed his thumb over your clit while his digits pumped inside of you. with just enough pressure to not be too much for you.

"its okay, baby...you're doing so great, let me see how well you take my fingers" you moaned, as he pressed his palm against your heat. the latex feeling unusually nice. on your skin. and especially inside you.

"n-nice hands"

"yeah? you think my hands are nice? what do you like about my hands hm?"

he asked. he wasn't teasing you. he wasn't even joking about it. in fact he seemed to be curious. he wanted to feed into you.

"v-veiny..pretty and big...feels amazing inside of me" you answered back, bucking your hips when he added a third digit.

"you sure you aren't talking about my dick, kitten?"

"that even" you blabbered. letting him hook his chin on your shoulder. his breath hitched when you traced the veins on his forearms. they were so prominent. you wanted to lick them.

"that good, hm? who knew you'd be so attracted to my arms"

another warm sensation between your legs. his gloved fingers gliding in much smoother. you wanted to cringe at the sqelch it made every time he pushed in.

"you know, you have such a pretty little pussy, kitten?"

you blushed, trying to hide away from his comments. he nuzzled against your neck.

"i can't resist when it comes to you. i want to give you everything that i can"

willingly you parted your mouth, taking his other fingers in. he pressed down on your tongue. you sucked on them.

"you'll take anything i give you, won't you because you're my obedient princess"

#fluffylino works #soft dom!minho #stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #lee know smut #lee minho smut #skz drabbles #lee know imagines #lee minho imagines #bang chan smut #minho period sex #minho imagines

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shotmrmiller · 6 months

Text

The thought of toxic Dom!Simon not being exclusive with you is actually tilting me so I’m gonna write about it.

–

As per usual, you’re draped over Johnny’s legs on the couch, listening to him talk his nonsense when he brings up Ghost.

“...yeah and Ghost, lass, I’m tellin’ ye, he has got to be hurtin’ the lasses he takes to his quarters. He had this new medic in there screaming and…” but his voice fades, your heartbeat thundering in your ears drowning him out.

He had another woman in his bed. Bastard.

Your eyes sting as your blood boils. Jaw aching from how hard you’re clenching it.

Stupid fucking asshole.

Of course, you hadn’t brought it up. Not like you could, with how he had stuffed your mouth with his cum— but that’s beside the point. Here you had thought it was a given. But no, that motherfucker wastes no time in fucking other bitches while he has you constantly checking your phone hoping he sends a text.

Practically begging for his attention and he’s too busy getting his dick wet.

And there’s no one to blame but yourself. You’re the one who chose to put your feelings into this. He, at no point in time, strung you along. Congratulations, you played yourself. But that doesn’t mean you’re gonna sit there and take it. If he gets to fuck other people, then so do you.

Johhny’s yelp snaps you out of your own furious inner ramblings.

“Hen, ouch! Mind the claws, eh?”

You unclench your hand— you hadn’t realized you were digging your nails into his skin.

“Ye a’right there? Yer face is bright red,” he remarks and you put your clammy hands onto your cheeks in an attempt to calm down.

“Yeah, I’m alright, Johnny boy.”

Releasing a tense breath, you turn to him with a toothy smile.

“Hey, didn’t you have a single friend I could meet? I haven’t gotten laid in—” and Johnny cuts you off with a swipe of his hand.

“Och! Naw! I dinnae care to know ‘bout yer flings. Cease yer yappin’.”

You arch one eyebrow at him and tartly say, “Oh, but I gotta sit here and listen to yours? How does that make sense?”

“I’m the older brother, hen. Do as yer told,” and he yelps again when you pinch his thigh at that. He’s rubbing the spot and you try to not feel guilty at the fact that you might’ve pinched a little too hard— you’re still frothing at the mouth over that asshole.

“So?” you ask again, “Any cute friends?” and he rubs at the scar on his chin before nodding.

“I do. Name’s Gaz. Er, Kyle. He’s been wantin’ to meet ye, actually. I talk about ye all the time and he’s gotten curious. Can give ye his number if ye want. And I dinnae wanna hear ‘bout anythin’ that happens, ye hear me?”

He pulls out his phone and sends you Kyle’s contact. You text him immediately and he responds within minutes.

Johnny snaps his fingers to get your attention and you look up from your phone.

“Snap at me again and I’m biting your fingers off,” you snarl.

“Ye could try, hen. I’ll be back, gonna go get the food we ordered,” and you nod but then Johnny taps your head with his finger.

“And be nice to Gaz. He’s a good lad.”

Rolling your eyes, you say, “Yes, da. I understand,” and he leaves.

The conversation between you and Kyle is light-hearted small talk until he sends a picture of himself wearing aviators— and you can see Ghost’s form in the background. Your rage comes back in full force.

You open snapchat and click on a filter that gives you cat ears and a collar with a bell— taking a photo of yourself holding up two fingers on Johnny’s couch, then press send.

Your phone vibrates and quickly look to see what Kyle said but it’s not him. It’s an unknown number.

You send pictures of yourself to all of Johnny’s friends?

His fucking nerve. The audacity. You grind your teeth and hold back the urge to throw your phone against the wall.

Your nails clack angrily on your phone screen as you reply.

Worry about yourself and that little medic of yours.

A couple of minutes pass with no response until you get a phone call from the unknown number.

You answer the call with a sharp “What.”

“That’s what this is about, pet? Ya mad at me so you throwin’ a tantrum?” he tauntingly chuckles.

You might burst a vessel from the indignation of it all, so you do the only thing you can do. Hang up and block him.

Asshole.

You can’t wait to fuck Kyle and send Ghost the sex tape.

jokes on you, though cuz Ghost just gon show up at Johnny's flat sporting big dark hickeys on his neck lmao i hate him

@luminousbeings-crudematter

#call of duty #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #cod mw2

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apdreadful · 1 month

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I’ve decided that from here forward I’m writing Tommy and Buck/Evan as long term canon. In the words of Buck himself “Who cares?!”

I get the feeling that Tommy is difficult to get really angry. Mostly based on his past. And his general roll with the punches attitude thus far. So I don’t foresee a lot of strife or fighting in his future with Buck. Except the first time Tommy experiences the after of that big marshmallow Evan Buckley doing something really dangerous and reckless..again.

And Tommy who never gets angry, who never shouts at Buck, who flew a helicopter into a goddamn hurricane in the middle of the ocean, really loses his shit this time because Buck cannot understand why Tommy is so upset that he dropped into a dangerous situation against orders AGAIN.

Tommy pinches the bridge of his nose to keep from shouting “Bobby told you not to go in. He told you not to risk it. That the floors were too unstable”

“There could have been someone left” Buck replies “Someone needed to check. It had to be me”

“Why? Because you’re fucking super human? The great Buck Buckley from the 118 who scoffs at danger, has survived a tsunami, getting trapped beneath a fire truck, throwing a blood clot, and was officially dead for three minutes after getting struck by FUCKING LIGHTNING!”

“How do you know about all of that?”

“That isn’t what matters”

“I think it is” Buck takes a step toward Tommy “Have you been stalking me babe?”

Noticing the mischievous smile Tommy shakes his head “Oh no no no. You are not going to adorable your way out of this”

Bucks shoulders sag and he sighs “I’m ok Tommy. Not even a scratch”

“I can see that” Tommy lets out a deep exhale “I understand the risks of the job. I’m not like your exes who would get all distraught over you removing a cat from a tree. But for fucks sake, you are worse than the EOD guys when I was in Afghanistan with the walking - or in your case running or jumping- right into the worst case scenario with no thought of your own safety” Rubbing his forehead he continues “Evan. You’ve got a savior complex and it’s noble and selfless..”

Buck cuts him off “It’s not a savior complex. I’m not stupid. I understand that sometimes no matter what you do you can’t save them. But sometimes maybe you can, and in those cases, I just make the most sense”

Tommy crosses his arms to keep from strangling him or kissing him stupid again to shut him up “How is that? How does you possibly dying make any sense?”

“They all have people that need them. They all have someone they belong to and..” he trails off with a small shrug

And Tommy hears the words he doesn’t say. He is…expendable. And just like that all of the anger drains out of Tommy to be replaced by a something else. “Evan” he says softly.

“I know” Buck interjects “I know that people love me and they would be sad, especially Maddie. And I don’t want to die. But I don’t want someone who has someone they need, and that needs them, to die either. I couldn’t live with that”

Tommy closes his eyes. This man..How can he be so adorable and selfless, yet so completely stubborn and a pain in the ass about his own safety?

Once he calms his thoughts and finds the words he wants to say, he opens his eyes to see Evan looking at him calmly. Like he expects Tommy to see the sense in what he said.

“Evan. I know we haven’t really put a label on this. On us. But that’s because I don’t want to pressure you. I’m the first man you’ve been with and you’re still figuring out who you are, and I understand that. But let me clarify something for you. I need you to come back to me. Ok?”

Buck blinks “Huh”

“I need you to come back to me” he repeats “Like Bobby needs Athena, and Karen needs Hen, and yes like Maddie needs Chimney.

“And Jee-un. Jee-yun needs her dad”

“Yes, and in that same vein, Christopher needs Eddie” he agrees, trying not to give in to his exasperation. “I need you. I am that person who needs you to come home Evan”

Evan stops whatever he was about to say. Startled awareness creeping into his eyes..Tommy sees a mix of emotions flit across his face. Surprise, joy, fear, everything just races across that expressive face and then Evan sinks onto the barstool at his kitchen island. His hands coming up to cover his face.

Tommy’s stomach clench’s. He pushed too hard, too soon “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I do care and want you to come home but..”

Buck looks up at him “Don’t you dare take that back”

“I’m not taking it back. I just don’t want to push you”

Something else crosses Evans face at that..but he tugged at his bottom lip with his teeth. “You aren’t pushing. You aren’t pressuring me. I am in this just as much as you. I just don’t know how to say what I want to say without it sounding lame and emo as shit”

“Did you just hear me? You can say anything to me Evan. Whatever it is”

Buck rolls his bottom lip between his teeth again. “I’ve never questioned why I do this…I mean it’s the whole reason I was born. To save my brother. To save Daniel. That’s what I do, that’s who I am. It’s why I became a firefighter. To be the one who saves people. The 118 is my family. And I would do anything to protect them from harm”

“I’m not asking you to stop. I would never ask that. I just want to remind you that you matter to a lot of people, and you also have someone who is waiting for you”

Bucks voice is thick “I know that. I get that. But…Nobody has ever. I have never belonged to anyone, like that”

In a sense of deja vu Tommy closes the short distance to Buck. Tipping his face up, he kisses him. Not soft and gentle like their first kiss in this kitchen. But bold and deep. Branding Evan with his mouth. Pulling back he says fiercely “You belong to me like that. For as long as you want..you belong to me and I belong to you, like that”

“I will ALWAYS need you to come back to me Evan”

ao3 like per request

#yes I called him both Evan and Buck #it makes situational sense in my head canon #yes this idea was part of my 3k word barf #but I’m breaking it up into bits #911 abc #evan buckley #tommy kinard #buck x tommy #evan x tommy #911 spoilers #bucktommy #kinley #this ship will be canon goddamn it #wrote this on my phone #tevan

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jamminvroomvroom · 9 months

Note

4 with lando :)))

flashing lights - kanye west (respect the art not the artist!)

LN4 x reader

tysm for the request xoxo!! finally continuing my requests (sorry it took ages whoops) flipped my list and went from the bottom for this bc otherwise we were gonna have some repeats lol

images below from pinterest - i claim no ownership 🙃

warnings: none! some swearing, some fluff, lando being a funny little camera shy pr machine - but fr minors pls just dni with my work okay tysm!!!

lando was frantically pacing your apartment when you walked in, eyes wild, as if he hadn’t slept, and hair an absolute disheveled state. his usually sun-kissed skin seemed to get even paler when he heard the door shut behind you, coming to a halt in your kitchen and staring at you as though he’d seen a ghost.

“lando?” you questioned, confused as to, a) why he was here so early, and b) why he looked like he was about to confess that he had killed your entire bloodline.

“baby, i’m so sorry.” your blood ran cold. what had he done? he closed the space between you, tentatively taking your hands.

“lando… what’s going on?” you tilted your head, starting to sweat in your oversized leather jacket. you’d just been out running errands, picking up bits for the dinner you were supposed to be sharing with the mclaren driver, much later in the day.

“i didn’t think anyone had seen us but then i had my assistant, the entire pr department and my mother phoning me, and then max called and said that him and pietra wanted to see if we were okay, before i could call anyone else back which confused the fuck outta me, so i finally checked twitter and there it was and i just got in the car and came here but god, i’m so sorry.” lando finally exhaled, looking like he was about to pass out, with creases so deep on his forehead that you thought they’d stay there permanently.

“okay, lando? sweetheart? yeah, okay i’m gonna need a bit more info.” you over enunciated each word, stressing that you were still in the absolute dark about whatever was on the verge of sending him into cardiac arrest.

“there’s photos. of us. kissing.” he finally said, quietly, and after a good ten seconds of staring at you in utter fear.

“fucking hell, i thought something terrible had happened. jesus christ, lando.” you exhaled, eyes wide. he stared at you like you’d grown a second head, stepping forward to mockingly rest his hand against your forehead as if he was checking your temperature.

“are you… are you… okay?” lando asked, eyebrow quirked. he was shocked at how calm you were.

you’d both agreed to keep your relationship private, and over the last five months, that had gone swimmingly well. but some low quality photos taken, as you waited for some friends outside a restaurant in the outskirts of london, had fucking launched the cat out of the bag.

“how bad are the pictures? are we naked or something?” you scoffed at him and now lando was truly confused.

“no, but- but i thought we were gonna keep this quiet.” he murmured.

“i know, baby, but okay, it’s out. is that really so bad? it was bound to happen eventually.” you reasoned, and lando finally saw your point.

“i just want to protect you, from all of the lights and the flashing cameras. love you too much to lose you to those vultures.” lando dipped his forehead against yours as he spoke, eyes locked on yours. you couldn’t help but smile at him, the loveliest man you could have wished for.

“oh, my sweet, sweet boy,” you crooned, pecking his lips. “you know i love to show off.” he laughed at that, a low rumbling in his chest.

you pulled away, stepping around him and walking further into your apartment, dropping all of your stuff down in your kitchen.

“anyways, i already saw the pictures. we look hot.” you ignored his incredulous ‘what?’, waving him off. “now, come here and help me make dinner.”

#lavenderlando #lando norris #lando norris blurb #lando norris drabble #lando norris fic #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #blurbs #drabble #blurb #lando norris fluff #lando norris fics #f1 fics #f1 fic #request #ask #writing things #f1 fluff #jas’s spotify blurbs

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incorrectbatfam · 1 year

Note

In honour of today's WFA episode what else does Bruce keep in his utility belt?

Dick: Batman, what if I told you I lost my escrima sticks in the harbor?

Bruce: *pulls out another pair*

Bruce: Let me know if you need more.

———————

Jason: My other helmet exploded.

Bruce: Second-to-left pocket.

Jason: It's not there.

Bruce: My left, not yours.

Jason: This is why we have communication problems.

———————

[on a stakeout]

Tim: Crap, camera's dead. B?

Bruce: Watch your language. Single-lens or digital?

Tim: Uh.... any action cameras?

Bruce: Do I look like I have everything?

Tim:

Bruce:

Tim:

Bruce: Here are the three latest models, take your pick.

———————

Damian: Father, I sense an animal in need.

Bruce: *sighs*

Bruce: *pulls out a bag of dog treats*

Damian: Actually, I think it's a cat.

Bruce: *pulls out a can of cat food*

———————

Duke: Thanks again for getting us an early showing of the new Spider-Verse movie.

Bruce: Of course, Duke. I've been looking forward to it too.

Duke: Should we buy some snacks?

Bruce: It's okay, I got this.

Bruce's belt: *popcorn popping*

Bruce: You want butter with that?

———————

[at a breakfast diner]

Stephanie: I love this place, but I really wish they hadn't discontinued the pumpkin spice syrup.

Bruce: *pulls out a bottle*

Bruce: You mean this one?

———————

Barbara: I've been meaning to read the latest in this trilogy but all the library books have been checked out for weeks.

Bruce, taking out two books: Hardcover or paperback?

Barbara: Hardcover, but how did you get it autographed?

Bruce: My belt has connections.

———————

Margie: Not to toot my own horn, but my children have this recital in the bag.

Bruce: Oh yeah?

Bruce: *pulls out Cass's trophies*

Cass: Dad why—

———————

Alfred: Master Bruce, I know I'm asking a lot of you, but could you keep an eye on the oven for five minutes?

Bruce: Sure.

Bruce: *takes out a pocket drone*

———————

Bruce: If you reach into my belt, you might find a little surprise.

Selina: Really, now?

Selina: *reaches in*

Selina: ...The Bat Shark Spray?

Bruce: You never know!

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seoliee · 4 months

Text

LAD Men as Cats

Here again to serve pure fluffiness. I love cats and I love LAD Men. So, I thought, why don't I try to mix the two together and here we are.

Kind of weird to make my precious fishy; Rafayel into a cat though because he absolutely hates them.

Oh and no, Caleb in this one. I might make a separate one for him though like I did last time. I'LL STOP NOW SORRY.

What if they're your pet cats?

Word Count: 1.5k words

— RAFAYEL : Grey Birman

• Rafayel was a birthday gift from your best friend. You were immediately pulled in by his mesmerizing eyes that seemed to shine and bore deep within you. The first time you took him into your arms, he looks up at you with a guarded gaze followed up with a low growl.

• It didn't take long for Rafayel to get used to you and his new surroundings, his bursts of energy zooming all over the place that you sometimes can't keep up with him.

• Being an office worker and situated to work from home. You're always confined in your study and in front of a computer often leaving Rafayel on his own company.

• There was a time that you were in a zoom call with your bosses when Rafayel leaps up on your computer desk. He meows softly, trying to get your attention but you were far too focused on your work. He rubs the side of his face on your hand that rests on top of the mouse, and you returned the gesture by petting his cheek in which he purrs at.

• Rafayel walks in front of you, blocking your vision with his built and his fluffy fur as his long puffy tail glides under your chin in the playful manner. You excused yourself from the call and places him down. "Not now, Rafayel. Be patient." You gave him a quick pet before returning to your call.

• Being a very affectionate and somewhat mischievous cat. Rafayel wouldn't let that slide. He leaps up on top of a drawer where one of your mini ornaments were located, eyeing one of them. He heard you calling him, mouthing words that says 'Don't think about it.' So now you finally gave him the attention he wants. His paw gently hits the ornament off of the drawer as it fell down on the carpet flooring and he scurries away.

• After the call ended. You went to pick up the fallen ornament and much to your relief it wasn't broken. When you went downstairs, you saw Rafayel perched down on the armrest of your couch, his eyes on you. He jumped off, running up to you and rubbing himself and subtly wrapping his tail around your legs while purring. Acting as if nothing happened.

• You sigh, picking him up into your arms. You can't stay mad at him. "You're a very naughty kitty, y'know that?" You pull him into your arms, hugging him as he leans into your touch. "But it's part of your charm." Though, you still have to reprimand his actions by not giving him any treats in the next few days.

— XAVIER : White Turkish Angora

• You arrived home from work only to see a puff of white ball on your porch. You slowly got closer, realizing it's a cat curled into a ball and sleeping. You crouched down to take a closer look.

• The cat wakes up, stretching its limps then looking up at you with narrowed sleepy eyes, blinking slowly. You were sure it would scurry away, but it didn't even moved an inch from its spot.

• You reached your hand out to it, waiting for it to do something, but it only watches as your hand gets closer, letting you scratch the side of its head and leaning into your hand which melted your heart immediately. The cat got up on its four legs, and goes to rub against you. There you noticed it doesn't have a collar on. You obviously can't leave it to fend for itself out in the coldness of the night so you did the most reasonable thing and let it inside. The cat immediately went over to your couch, finding a good spot and going back to sleep. It's as if it already owns your place, you think.

• The next morning. You visit the local veterinary clinic to get the cat checked. There, you found out it's a male cat. You made eye contact with him, silently apologizing for calling him a 'she' last night. The vet also said he doesn't have a microchip on him, but is a very healthy cat, adding that he's also very friendly and calm.

• Once both of you are home. You took decent pictures of him, deciding to make posters and spread it around the neighborhood in case he has a family. After all, he might've had a collar, but lost it somewhere. You heard a low meowing sound, switching your gaze down and there he is looking up at you expectedly. "You're hungry, aren't you?" You chuckled, going into the kitchen and him following you. You open the cupboard, taking out a can of wet catfood and transferring its contents on his bowl afterwards setting it down, allowing him to eat. You decide to keep him until his owners claim him. If nobody comes for him in a month, you're going to keep him.

• The next days were quite eventful. You came home to him waiting for you by the door, greeting you with a very happy meow which dissipates all your fatigue away. Ever since having him, you no longer felt lonely and you always looked forward to coming home. He always slept next to you, and wakes up at the same time as you. He practically follows you everywhere in the house which you found adorable and endearing.

• You sat down on your couch with him laying comfortably on your lap as you pet his fur. Instead of watching whatever is on the television, your eyes are on him. A thought came into your mind, and that's naming him. But, you quickly tossed the thought away as naming him would only make you more attached to him and by then, letting him go would hurt you than it should've. Your chest felt tight at the thought of losing his companionship. It may sound selfish, but you silently prayed that nobody would come to claim him.

• One day, you came home from work and as usual he's there at the door step waiting for her like he always does. You pick him up into your arms, then setting him down on the couch and kneeling in front of him. You open your bag to take something out and reaches your hands to the back of his head. You retreat your hands away, letting the light tag rest on his neck and engraved with the name 'Xavier'.

• Indeed, a month has already passed and thankfully, nobody came. "Xavier. Do you like that name?" As if responding to her. Xavier goes up to you and gently licked your chin, you melt and nuzzles against him which he reciprocates with a loud purr. You will no longer feel lonely with Xavier around.

— ZAYNE : Black Persian

• Zayne was given to you by your cousin who told you she couldn't keep him anymore because him and her other male cat kept attacking each other. You, on the other hand have no qualms on adopting him. The thought of having a non-human companion is better than having an actual human.

• Zayne is a very quiet and aloof cat. Very quiet. At first, you thought that all cats are like him, but you watched a few cat videos where some of them would act like him, but have random bursts of energy at times and are playful. Zayne on the other hand, you looked at him at the other end of the couch, he seemed to mind his own business and is very cold.

• You tried to play with the toy stick with a mouse attached on the end only for him to ignore you completely. He didn't even spared you a single glance. You never thought there will be a time where your heart was broken by a cat. From that moment, you made a vow to yourself that you would make him love you.

• You started by inching closer, petting his head. At first, he moved away from your hand and ran off. But, you didn't stop and kept on trying until he would only flinch for a bit, but never run away. Though, he never purred.

• Then one day, you came home later than usual from work. To your surprise, you saw Zayne by the porch of your front door, as if waiting for you. You took him into your arms, snuggling him close. "You must've been worried. I'm sorry." Once they're inside, he jumped out of your arms and went back to his usual self. You only chuckled, this is the most affection you can get from him and you won't complain anymore.

• The next morning. You slowly opened your eyes, expecting to see what she always sees in the morning, but a tuff of black fur blocks your vision. Your heart warms and melts. This is the first time Zayne has slept on your bed and right next to you. Most importantly, he's purring. Your hand moves on its own and gently pets his head, he slightly opens his eyes, his gaze on you for a bit and went back to sleep, purring even louder.

Writing is very therapeutic to me. I can freely write down my ideas and let them unfold.

Thank you for reading until the end.

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader #zayne love and deepspace #xavier love and deepspace #rafayel love and deepspace #zayne x reader #xavier x reader #rafayel x reader

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dcxdpdabbles · 11 months

Note

If possible could you do the Batkids summoning the Ghost King on a dare?

It starts with Tim because most insane things do. Kon had sent him a link to a trend, asking him to try it the next time Young Justice got together.

He made the mistake of clicking on the link while sitting near his siblings in the gaming room. The audio is also on full blast because he didn't realize his headphones were out of battery.

Thus while waiting for his turn to play Mario Kart, a loud male moan echoes from his speakers. Tim freezes in his seat, staring at his phone in horrified betrayal, as seven heads snap in his direction.

"Ugh, Timmy? Those are videos you should be watching alone" Dick says with half a teasing smirk. "I know you're growing up and are curious about-"

"It's not like that! It's a summoning circle!" Tim yelps, turning the phone around. On his screen, five male teenagers sit in a circle, each holding hands. Moaning. The caption reads, "Summoning the Ghost King! What's your offer?".

"What the hell?" Jason squints as the teenagers in the video burst into laughter. They jeer and taunt each other good naturally, indicating the random moaning was in jest.

"Oh, I know that trend!" Cullen chirps from the floor. He's been hugging the bowl of chips all night, laying down on his stomach to keep it guarded from the others. "Basically, you try to summon the Ghost King by offering something random. Guess he doesn't respond to human sacrifices or the typical stuff, so people have been getting creative. I once saw a group of girls who burned their training bras and offered the King the ashes. The point is to pick the weirdest thing you can think of."

"That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard. We have to try it." Steph announces, standing up. She pushes the coffee table out of the way. The rest of their siblings, who weren't as into the speeding game, perked up in interest. "What do we need?"

"Um," Tim scrolls through the comments. "We need four never before lite candles, each placed in the positions of the four directions. We have to sit crossed leg in a circle holding hands and call out to the King with a poem, and at the end, we make our offering."

Harper springs up. "I got some candles! Do they matter if it's scented?"

Tim checks online. "It's not recommended, but it's fine if they are."

"This is idiotic! Attempting to make contact with the Ghost King is far too dangerous. I shall take no part in this foolery!" Damian cuts in, face twisted into a- surprisingly- nervous frown. His hands are clasped tightly over each other while his eyes roam the room looking for unseen threats. If Tim didn't know any better, he said the brat was scared.

"Aw Dami, if you don't want to do a summons, we can play the game of life or something. It's okay to be scared of ghosts" Dick says, placing his hand on the kid's shoulder. He was obviously trying to comfort the kid but it has the opposite effect.

"I am not scared of a mere ghost!" Damian hisses. "I am merely stating we should not bother forces well out of our leagues!"

Jason snorts, planting himself on the ground as Harper returns. She had four different color candles, purple, blue, black, and green. After consulting with Cass- a human compass-she placed them facing the east, west, south, and north.

"Why did you make that disgusting noise Todd?" Damian demands narrowing his eyes at the striking man.

"Just admit you're scared of ghosts, brat. No one is going to judge you for it."

"I said I was not scared of a mere ghost. The Ghost King is far more powerful then-"

"Alright, alright. Damian is too much of a scary cat to play, but who else is in?" Steph cuts him off, a knowing glint in her eyes. The youngest flushes angrily before he marches between the green and black candle and sits with his legs crossed. A nasty scowl is playing on his lips, likely not noticing the high-five Jason and Steph share for getting him to join.

Cass gracefully falls right next to Damian, offering the younger boy a small. His scowl lessens just a little. Cullen crawls his way over, pressing the bowl of chips to his hip protectively once he's sitting up. He ended up between the green and the purple candle, offering Cass a smile. Harper lands next to Cullen, cracking her neck as if preparing for a fight.

Dick does an unnecessary flip over the couch to take the place between the purple and blue candles. Next to him, Steph sits, her knee bumping the blue candle slightly. Jason struts over to sit next to Steph right between the blue and black candle. Duke shares the space with him, giving just a slightly nervous chuckle as Tim and Babs push the black and green candle apart a little to squeeze into though Babs remains in her chair.

"Alright, so the person with the candle on their right side has to light it. Do it at the same time. Once that happens, we join hands and do chat about the poem. Says only one person has to say the words, but if you want, I can send the link in the family group chat so we can all say it?" Tim waits to see them consider it, but Cass excited nodding has him copying the link he found on an online forum. A few dings go around the room as everyone checks their phones. "Now we have to decide on a sacrificial offering."

"We should do our most embarrassing secrets," Jason suggests.

"No, no, our fabulous hair!" Dick perks up, flipping said hair in a dramatic flair.

"It has to be something we all share," Tim says, eyeing Duke's short hair.

The other teenager makes an offended noise. "My hair is fabulous!"

"We offer the gay." Cullen cuts in. The rest turn to look at him as he wiggles his fingers. "Ohhhhhh! We're all fruity~! Spooky!"

"Babs isn't," Dick puts in only to see his best friend shake her hand in a so-and-so motion. He gapes at her before throwing his head back and laughing "We really do flock together!"

"So we agree? The gay?" Tim tries to say seriously, but his lips are twitching too much, trying to suppress a smile. There is agreement around the circle. He gives on a single node before passing around the matches Harper had brought. "How are we going to do this, though. Do we just shout, "I'm gay," or are we giving material things?"

"Let's write our gay awakening on a piece of people," Babs suggests grabbing her bag from where it hands on her chair handles. She tucks out a spiral notebook and a few pens. "I read that summoning needs something physical."

Everyone agrees as they pass along the notebook, writing down their awakening. Tim raises a brow at Damian's "Jon Kent" but doesn't call him out for it. After all, Conner Kent goes under his little brother's writing in his own writing.

He does wonder who Danny Fenton is, but knows better than to ask Cass about her life before the manor.

"Okay, let's do this! On the count of three- one-two-three!" Tim calls, watching Damian, Harper, Steph, and Duke simultaneously lite at the candle. They all hold hands, reading off phones that are prompted up by either their legs or kickstands on cases.

"We call upon the Undead King,

The one who bridges the realms,

The one who wields the Ring,

The one who will lead dies and breathes!"

There is a moment of silence where Tim swears he feels a slight shock along his fingertips, but it passes too quickly for him to care. Seeing as he is the ring leader, he calls out to the air. "Oh great King of the Dead, my siblings and I offer you a list of our gay awakening!"

"Stop, stop!" The youngest yells, leaping to his feet. His eyes are wild, scrambling to a far wall like a cornered animal. "No! He's coming!"

"Coming out the closet, like mama, I like boys, I like pecs

Like the arms when they flex!" Stephs suddenly sings, swaying in her seat. Everyone laughs before joining, and Tim wonders if they should have recorded this when suddenly Damian shrieks.

"Damian, who-"

The candles' flames all turn green as a haunting voice echoes through the room. "Your sacrifice has been accepted."

Tim's mouth drops open as the flames rise into the air forming a portal of liquid green. Familiar green. No wonder Daimain had been so scared. That was Lazarus Pit water. This meant this was the real deal, not just a random trend popularized by stupid teenagers.

Leaping Lizards Batman.

"What-what do we do!?" Cullen yelps as a burst of wind rips around the room, throwing everyone back. A laugh that sounds far too much like the Joker is heard through the portal as everyone tries to get into a fighting position with the wind pushing against them.

A head of snow-white hair peaks out and they are greeted by a laughing teenager. "A gay awaking sacrifice list! That's hilarious!"

"Who are you!" Tim hears Jason demand over the howling wings.

Another laugh, but this time, it sounds like clicking ice cubes is a response. "I'm Phantom!"

Tim has a second to see, wide green glowing eyes before the ghost reaches down, snatches their list, and zaps away.

Cass falls to her knees with a look of horror. "They know"

"I told you this was idiotic!" Damian screams, shaking so hard he looks like he will burst into tears in only a few seconds. Dick rushes over to him, pulling the sniffing boy into his arms. "We must never do this again!"

No one knows what to do in the wake of actually succeeding in calling the Ghost King or watching Dmaian cry from fear.

A ringtone plays from Cass's phone, breaking the ill silence. Tim catches a glimpse of "Danny" with two little hearts before his sister grabs the cell and leaps through an open window with what could only be a squeal.

"What the fuck just happened?" Cullen asks, but Tim can only offer him a shrug.

#dc x dp crossover #dcxdpdabbles #Ghost King Summon Dare au #Basically Cass met Danny on the streets #Gay awakening cause Danny is gender fluid #Damian is really scared of Danny #Prompt #Hope you like!#Dead Silent

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woso-dreamzzz · 4 months

Text

Pets

Hardersson x Child Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: Rocky the Rock

"Morsa," You say one random day off," Why does Sam have Helen?"

Magda looks up from where she's working on her laptop. You're sitting by the coffee table on the floor, cross-legged as you make your farmyard animals enact something that really reminds Magda of the book Animal Farm which is a little disconcerting but she's trying really hard not to focus on.

"Huh? Helen the cat?"

You nod.

"Well, Sam's got Helen for companionship. Helen's her pet cat."

That makes you frown a little bit. "Why?"

Magda shrugs. "Some people want a pet to keep them company. Some people have cats like Sam, some people have dogs or hamsters or other little things."

You go silent for a moment, you head bobbing up and down in a nod. "Okay," You say," Can I go play outside now, Morsa?"

Magda leans back in her chair to look out the window. It was meant to rain later on today and she didn't want you to get a cold but, thankfully, the sky is clear.

"Do you want someone to kick a ball at you?" Magda asks as she helps you slip on your coat.

"No thank you, Morsa," You say, practically vibrating to be let out," Just going to play."

"Okay. If you get hurt, yell and I'll come out, alright?"

"Okay!"

Magda types away at her laptop for a while as you play in the garden. Every so often, she drags her eyes up to check on you but you're just poking around in the gravel.

When Pernille comes home, you're still there and Magda is still typing.

"Where's Princesse?" Pernille asks before she drops down to steal a kiss.

"She's outside," Magda replies," Hey, Pernille, what does it mean when a kid starts asking about pets?"

"What?"

"Well, she was asking about why Sam has her cat. I said it was for companionship."

"Magda," Pernille says fondly," I love you so much sometimes."

"Sometimes? Not always?"

"You know what I mean. You're so oblivious sometimes."

Magda frowns. "Huh?"

"She's planting the seed in your mind," Pernille explains," So when she asks about getting her own pet then it's not out of nowhere."

"But we can't get a pet!" Magda says," We're moving soon!"

Pernille laughs. "She's probably angling for one when we go back to Germany. She's very smart."

"It's sneaky! Oh my god, are we going to have to start buying pet food?! And vet bills! I don't think there's a good vet near our new place and-"

Magda's mouth snaps closed as Pernille rests her hands on her shoulders. She's giving Magda a pointed look tinged with amusement.

"Magda," She says," Calm down. We're not getting her a pet."

"Oh." Magda blows out all her air. "We're not?"

"No. We'll be much too busy and Princesse's still very little. A pet would just add stress onto everything."

"But she wants one."

"And I want a three course meal and for Sam's whole existence to stop being a threat to Princesse's wellbeing but I'm not getting any of that anytime soon."

Magda laughs. Her hand reaches for Pernille's hip, dragging her closer until she's comfortably sitting on Magda's lap. "I can make you the meal. I'm not too sure I can help with Sam though. I can wrap Princesse up in bubble wrap though."

Pernille smiles. "You're so sweet, Magda." She cards her fingers through Magda's hair, leaning forward to steal a kiss like she did earlier. "You're such a good mother."

Magda rarely gets embarrassed about these things but with Pernille's weight in her lap and you playing in the garden, there are no interruptions. Her face flushes red at the compliments.

"The perfect mother for our little girl," Pernille continues, littering kisses all over Magda's face," You and her are so alike."

"I think she's more like you," Magda can scarcely gets the words out as Pernille bites at her earlobe.

"That's only because you're so oblivious. You and Princesse are more similar than you think."

"Well-"

"Momma! You're home!"

Pernille looks over Magda's shoulder to see you. Your hands are covered in dirt like you've been digging around in the flowerbeds again and you're pulling off your shoes, throwing them onto the floor.

"You look like you've been having fun," Pernille laughs," You're all dirty."

"Only a little," You say, wiping a hand on the front of your shirt," Where's my googly eyes?"

Magda frowns. She'd been preparing herself for you to ask about a pet, not about your arts and crafts supplies. "Er...Should be in the toy box."

"Thank you!"

You run off without even giving Pernille a hug, though she's secretly grateful for that because your hands look to be caked in dirt.

Magda sighs. "Is she going to start sticking those eyes on her shoes again?"

"I hope not. She nearly had a breakdown when they fell off last time."

Neither of them get an explanation about what you're doing with your googly eyes until way after dinner when you stand in front of them sitting on the sofa.

Magda takes a deep breath.

This is it.

It's time to completely break your heart.

"Sam has Helen as her pet," You begin," Morsa says Helen's for companionship."

"Pets are a lot of work," Magda says quickly, wanting the soften the blow," They take a lot of care."

You frown, your crinkle appearing between your brows. "Even the little things?"

"Even them," Pernille says solemnly," The little ones a very complicated. You have to feed them and clean out their cages."

You nod along before," That's okay. I've got one that doesn't need feeding."

That alarms Magda and she remembers how you were poking around in the garden all day. She wonders if you've managed to dig up a mouse or something from the dirt.

Pernille also looks suitably alarmed and her eyes immediately dart to where your hands are hiding behind your back.

"Princesse," She says slowly," Have you brought something into the house that you shouldn't have?"

You shake your head. "He is my pet," You say.

"Princesse-" Magda begins before her mouth hangs open in shock.

"His name is Rocky," You say proudly as you hold up a little granite rock from behind your back. You've stuck a set of three googly eyes on it. "And he is my pet."

"That's a rock," Magda says.

"Yes. Rocky the rock. My pet."

"Pernille, that's a rock."

"I can see that, Magda."

"I found him all by myself," You boast, puffing out your chest," I saved him from the cold and gave him eyes so he can see. He's my pet and he's going to sleep in my bed with me."

Magda can do nothing but stare with an open mouth as you show off your new rock.

"Pernille," Magda manages to whisper as you fawn and coo over your new rock," She dug up a rock."

"Yes, she did."

"She wants to sleep in bed with it."

"Yes, she does."

#woso x reader #hardersson x reader #pernille harder x reader #pernille harder #magdalena eriksson x reader #magdalena eriksson #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso #The Big Adventures Universe

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disneyprincemuke · 4 months

Text

the second seat * fem!driver

the question of who gets the second seat in the new season has been unaddressed for months

pairings: logan sargeant x femreader, oscar piastri x femdriver, liam lawson x femdriver, mick schumacher x femdriver

notes: guys omg i always thought liam n rocky being in the same time would mean marketing chaos and absolute borderline insane team antics,, if only i hadn't been too lazy to write nonlogan fics when it comes to vr LMFAOOO

(series masterlist) | (📂 the sophomore year)

"it has to be me, right?" mick grins, turning to the small girl as she dances around the living room with her cat in her arms. "you said you'd get me the second seat."

"doubt it, mate," oscar mutters, fingers slamming down on the buttons of his controller as their game of mario kart plays out on the tv screen. "don't trust a word she says. she's a serial liar."

"am not!" she shrieks, turning around to glare at oscar. "he's the serial liar!" she looks at mick. "i tried to get you the seat, mate, but apparently i don't have that much of a say after all."

logan shrugs, eyes stuck on the screen as he bites down on his lip. "i know who got the second seat."

"what? that's insane!" oscar scoffs, shoving logan quickly before returning his hands on his controller. "and you haven't told me? are you crazy?"

"it's not my fault i live with her! you know she can't keep a secret to save her life," logan snorts, rolling his eyes. "you're just gonna have to wait for andretti's statement like everybody else."

"that's stupid. we're already here," mick points out. he looks at the girl and scowls. "who is your teammate for the new season? no way you keep your mouth shut long enough for them to make the announcement in the next 10 minutes."

she shrugs, disappearing into the kitchen. "what can i say? i turned 21 and suddenly i'm a new person."

"she'll tell us before they can post about it. don't sweat it," oscar laughs, putting his controller down. he pumps his fist in the air as he beats logan at yet another mario kart race, giggling when logan punches his arm.

"well, my teammate should be here any second," she hums, walking back in with a pint of ice cream in her hands. she holds out the pint to the group. "ice cream?"

mick looks at the pint. "you have an ice cream problem, rocky."

"perhaps." she takes a seat next to mick on the couch as oscar takes the pint from her hands. "but they signed him before telling me about it. so i, too, was blindsided."

"sad."

"truly," she shakes her head as kidnapper finally releases his claws from her shirt, padding over to mick's lap. she takes the ice cream pint back in her hands. "but it's a pretty good catch. i think we'll be good together on the track."

the front door swings open. "i'm here!"

"your teammate's lily?"

"are you fucking stupid?" she kicks logan lightly, rolling her eyes as she throws her head back. "obviously it's not lily."

"oh, you haven't told them yet?" lily giggles, skipping over to where oscar is sitting on the ground. she presses a quick kiss to his cheek, making the other 3 people in the room groan as they throw their head backs.

"gross!"

"get a room!"

"trigger warning next time."

"wait. what does she mean by that? you mean my girlfriend knows and we don't?" oscar frowns, pointing at the redhead who has her arms strung around his shoulders. "what's with the secrecy?"

logan laughs. "yeah, i told her."

"unfair! that's blatant favouritism!" mick scoffs, throwing a pillow at logan. "why'd you tell her before us?"

"i had to tell someone. i knew lily would never speak if i told her not to tell anyone," logan grins, clearly proud of his decision. "what time is he getting here, rocky? can't believe he's late for lunch."

"ah, cut him some slack. he's just flown in from home," she giggles. "any moment now, actually."

"he'll arrive soon?"

she feels her phone buzz in her pocket. "check your instagram."

there's a moment of silence, the two clueless men fishing hurriedly for their phones to check their social media.

it's followed by loud gasps and bewildered screams. mick jumps up, startling the cat sitting peacefully on his lap. kidnapper quickly settles on her lap again. "you kept this a secret for this long – how, exactly?"

she shrugs just as oscar screams. "you're mentally unsound! you hid a secret this large from me?"

"that's right," the door swings open, slamming against their shoe rack as a familiar face walks by the entryway of their small apartment. he throws his arms up into the air and puckers his lips. "meet the fine lad who's managed to scam andretti into giving him the second seat to start in the new season."

oscar holds a hand on his chest. "lily, call an ambulance."

"good lord," mick slowly sits down, scratching his head. "you crazy son of a bitch. how did you manage to pull this off?"

she giggles, moving over to the other end of the couch to make space. he drops himself between mick and the younger driver, slinging his arms around their shoulders and resting his leg over the other. "that's right. it is i, liam lawson, driving for andretti this season."

"oh, we're gonna be insane this year, mate," she laughs, holding her hand out for a high-5. "i got you an ice cream pint to celebrate."

"oh, lit. what flavour did you get me?" liam hops up and runs over to the kitchen. "chocolate too?"

"mint."

liam's head pops out of the kitchen, an unimpressed stare boring holes at her. "you know i hate that."

"welcome to the team."

taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @vellicora @leilanixx @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @cashtons-wife @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgification @sadg3 @a10vely-yutazen @mellowarcadefun @glitterf1 @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @gentlyweeps-world @woozarts @meadhbhcavanagh @2bormaybenot @inejismywife @love4lando

#mick schumacher x reader #logan sargeant x reader #oscar piastri x reader #liam lawson x reader #fem!driver #female driver #f1 fem!driver #f1 female driver #vettel reincarnate #disneyprincemuke #disneyprincemuke imagine #disneyprincemuke imagines #disneyprincemuke f1 #disneyprincemuke vr #formula 1 x reader #f1 x reader #f1 grid x reader

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httpsryu · 5 months

Text

muse? pt. 3

pairing: kang haerin x fem newjeans!reader

summary: getting a new member way long after debut and before a comeback isn't really the best idea to haerin

category: enemies-to-lovers (?), kpop idol au

genre: slow burn, angst, and fluff

warnings: a bit frustrating and A LOT of jealousy

a/n: i appreciate all the love muse has gotten so far! tysm everyone :) pt.1 and pt.2 of muse

The second the leader entered the dorm with the rest of the girls behind her, she feels a sense of energy being off at the sight of seeing you sitting on the couch in the living room.

"Is Haerin not keeping you company?" Minji asks, setting down the food and cake on the countertop.

You look up from your phone, startled while wondering what time the others have gotten back. You let out a half smile, shaking your head.

"She did keep me company." You lie.

Great; the first day and you're already lying for the sake of someone who probably and surely doesn't even like you.

"I'll go call her to help set up." Danielle announces with a gentle smile, rushing towards the end of the hall where Haerin's and your room sat.

Minji hums with a nod, looking over at you with concern. She's worried that you're regretting the decision to come over here from SM.

"Y/N! Which hat do you like on me?" Hanni breaks the weird atmosphere, holding up a princess crown and a bear headband with a bright smile, scrunching her nose.

You let out a small giggle at how adorable your member is. Getting up from the couch, you walk to where Hanni is and tilts your head while thinking. Eyes constantly darting back and fourth between the two options before catching the other choices in the bag next to Hanni.

"You're so cute, Y/N!" Hanni scrunches her nose at how cute you look trying to concentrate.

"I think this one seems to match you well." You reach for the bunny ears in the bag, holding it up next to the Vietnamese with a content smile at how well it resembled her.

Hanni smiles, showing her gums as she grabbed it. "If Y/N says it matches me, I'll wear it."

"Minji unnie matches this bear headband." You speak with a small smile, handing it to the oldest who is checking off a few things to make the best welcome party.

The leader feels her ears flushed from you calling her 'unnie', grabbing the headband from you and clearing her throat afterwards. "Thank you, Y/N."

"Oh get up woman!" Hyein exclaims, making Minji choke back on her saliva before turning over to you. "Unnie, pick one out for me too!"

Strange.

You turn to the youngest, letting out a hum as you take a look at the remaining options. Before you could make a choice, Danielle emerges out from the hallway while dragging a lifeless Haerin along with her.

"Did we miss anything?" Danielle asks, noticing how Minji and Hanni have headbands on and seeing you look so cute focusing on what to pick for Hyein.

Hanni can only giggle in response. "My Y/N picked out my headband for me."

Haerin snaps her head at the 'my'.

MY?

The youngest excitedly nods. "And you should've seen how red Mi-"

"-Hyein-ah?" Minji glares, having the youngest exert a low pout on her lips.

The other Australian releases her grip from Haerin before prancing over to you too. "Omg!!! Could you pick one out for me too?"

The cat-eyed female could once again scoff and roll her eyes at how her members are acting right now.

What a joke, really.

The feline-like female can only watch with a bitter taste in her mouth as the other girls are fighting for your attention on helping them choose out a stupid accessory (besides minji who's still a bit flustered and taken aback from you calling her 'unnie').

"Let's start making the desserts and prepare the food!" Danielle suggests, having the others nod in agreement after all of them got assigned a headband from you. "That way, when we're finished eating, we can all have a sweet treat!"

Hanni gently held both of your shoulders from behind, motioning you to sit comfortably at the couch while promising that she'll make something delicious for you.

"Haerin, will you keep Y/N company?" Minji sternly commends.

The introvert could only hum with a small nod. What other option does she have?

Apparently, the cat-eyed female who thought others having you pick out a stupid accessory all of a sudden had a change of heart because she's already making her way to where the bag of party favors all sit in. She quickly turns around to take a peek at you, noticing that you, the person that they're throwing the party for doesn't have an accessory.

Looking down at a few options, the cat-eyed female grabs one.

"It matches you."

You blink a few times at the sight in front of you. Blankly looking at the hand, which is handing you a princess tiara.

Are you hearing her correctly? What happened to the Haerin earlier?

"Are you going to take it or just sit and stare at it?" The female who is barely older than you monotonously asks.

Fighting the urge to roll your eyes all the way to the back of your head, you grab it from her. Getting startled at the touch both yours and hers fingers had. Coughing to get rid of the weird air, you put on the tiara.

"Oh-you have some hair-"

"-Where? Here?"

"-No, a little more to your left-no, it's-I got it." The other leans down to fix the piece of hair standing out from you and putting it behind your ear. She stares at you afterwards, you and her make eye contact prompting her to back away.

Rubbing the back of her neck, she motions over to the bag of party favors. "You're not going to pick one out for me?"

"Huh? Oh, I can if you want me to."

From afar, Hyein is trying her best to hold back Hanni from barging over. "Do something! She's trying to make moves on my Y/N!"

"Haerin does like pretty girls." Danielle could only say, laughing at how Hanni is overreacting.

Haerin awkwardly sits away from you on the other side of the couch, a space evident between you two.

Her hands are laying on her lap as she attempts to concentrate on the screen in front of the both of you. She still can't believe you're 100% on board with debuting as a member of NewJeans.

What could this mean for her though? Could there be possibly a concept change last minute for the comeback all because of a newcomer? How will this affect NewJeans positively? When will ADOR announce to Bunnies that they're debuting a new sixth member after releasing countless of hits.

Haerin can admit you're pretty, yes. She's certainly not blind. However, everything just feels like an irrational choice. She's not happy with Min Hee Jin's decisions this time.

She wants to ask you why you chose to be apart of a rash choice.

"Y/N unnie!" Hyein runs out from the kitchen, scurrying over to sit right next to you, leading you to sit a bit closer to Haerin. "I think you're really cool."

The feline-like female furrows her eyebrows, wondering why the other girls are perfectly fine with this. She furrows her brows even more when seeing your eyes crinkle brightly, a perfect smile that could make anyone caught in your charms.

"Oh, Hyeinnie, I think you're more cooler than me." You gently say back to her.

The big baby shakes her head. "Min Hee Jin told us earlier that you've been a trainee since you were 6, is that true?"

6? Haerin can feel how tense you've gotten at the subject.

"Haha. I was casted at 5 and was wary about the idea. But they kept casting me til I finally gave in." You managed to say without sounding too exhausted about your now previous company, the place you grew up to as home.

Hyein nods, interested in your early life. "I see. I can understand why they kept casting you, you look like a star, Y/N unnie."

Oh please. Haerin wants to snort at the nonsense. A star can dance to a whole choreography without messing up every damn 5 seconds.

"Say that for today." Haerin mumbles under her breath lowly, enough for only her to hear.

"Hyein-ah! Quit bothering Y/N and help us set up the table for dinner!" Hanni yells from the kitchen, resulting in the giant baby to groan loudly in agony before getting up from where she sat.

Haerin laughs at Hyein's antics, shaking her head at the oldest's scolding.

You smile a bit at the feline-like female's laughter. Ever since you've gotten here this morning, it seems like Haerin has been in a weird mood and just doesn't like to smile. At least around you, that is.

"She's cute when she smiles." You "think" to yourself, returning back at the screen.

The female besides you quickly turns to look at you, meeting with your side profile instead.

Did you mean to say that out loud?

Haerin feels the back of her neck burning up at those words, she gulps not wanting to take any meaning into it before slightly shaking her head and going back to look at the same screen you were looking at.

Haerin isn't like the other girls; she won't let a pretty girl get to her like that. She's standing her ground on why you being apart of this team is such a bad idea.

Right? RIGHT!

Just in time, the other members finally got done preparing the food.

"Alright! Time to eat!" Danielle loudly exclaims, walking in carefully with a big pot of wonton soup (the other girls totally didn't search up your favorite foods) for this party.

You immediately stand up from your spot, wanting to rush over to help the Australian.

"Oh no! Sit down Y/N, you're our special princess." Danielle brightly smiles, setting down the pot on a thick coaster. "Rin, could you help Hanni out back in the kitchen?"

Haerin tenses, looking at her best friend with a bothered expression at the idea of having to do stuff FOR you. Prompting the Australian to mouth the word 'please' with her adorable puppy eyes, leaving Haerin to sigh and get off from her seat.

"Y/N-ah! You look so pretty with this crown." Danielle turns her eyes back to you, looking at you with immediate affection.

You smile back at the other, eye-smile crinkling. "Thanks, Jihye unnie."

The older can't help but to gasp again at you calling her 'unnie' with that cute eye-smile. Oh, how she understands what Hanni is talking about now. (you're very real).

"Hey! Bro! Bro! Back off my Y/N!" Hanni glares at her fellow Australian mate, with Haerin clenching her hands tightly around the soda bottles at the word 'my'. "I wont hesitate to throw these cups at you!"

The 05' just purses her lips while shaking her head, grabbing the cups from Hanni.

"Bro, I can hear your voice from the kitchen." Minji tiredly says, emerging out from the kitchen with another big pot of spicy rice cakes and Hyein accompanying her with bowls and plates. "Tone it down a notch before you scare our new member away."

New member. That word makes you happy.

On the other hand, the irritation that Haerin always keeps feeling is creeping at her head.

New member. Oh, how she wishes it wasn't true.

Seeing your new team all enjoy their food, you can't help but to smile gently at them all (not haerin though, she made you mad by not handing you a pair of chopsticks even though you asked).

"You know how we planned to eat desserts after?" Hanni yawns, stretching out her arms. "I'm too full and tired to."

The others nod in agreement.

"Okay. Let's pack them and take them with us to our schedule tomorrow." Minji suggests, darting her eyes between Haerin and you.

The Vietnamese knows the tricks up her friend's sleeves. "Last one to touch their nose has to clean up these dishes and pack the cookies away!"

Everyone INSTANTLY touch their noses, you and Hanni both being the last ones.

"Ahh~ I get to be with my Y/N!" Hanni jumps up in excitement, knowing she lost on purpose (she couldn't help herself)

There it goes again; the way Haerin's jaw clenches at 'my Y/N'.

And for some strange reason, she hates to be around you, yet alone stand near you. And yet, she likes to be near you. Like now, while the others fought over who got to sit next to you during dinner, the cat eyed female silently walks over to you, taking the spot everyone seems to only care about.

But it doesn't make any sense for Haerin and what she's about to do.

"I'll help Y/N clean and put away the cookies." She monotonously says. "After all, she is my roommate."

Minji pleasantly smiles at the feline-resmebling female, nodding. "Great, that works out then."

"Wait! No!" Hanni argues, standing up from the ground with her hands in fists. "I lost though?"

Hyein yawns, stretching out her arms. "Just let Haerin do it, it makes sense anyways. Aren't you tired anyways?"

"Yeah. Bro." Minji teases, sticking out her tongue at the younger.

Hanni dramatically "fumes", her nostrils flaring in anger. "Dani, hold me back before I do something regretful."

"Let's start cleaning up before something breaks like last time." Haerin gets up, collecting the pile of plates.

You blink, processing what your member just said. Break? Last time?

"We don't have all night." The other said from where she's standing, peering behind her shoulder to look back at you with an annoyed expression.

You can't help but to silently sigh, grabbing the rest of the plates and cups and shortly following the cat eyed girl into the kitchen.

"Just leave them on the counter." Haerin shortly says, turning the sink on.

You shake your head. "We're supposed to be working together?"

"Y/N! Haerin! We're going to get ready for bed now." Hanni yells from the other room.

"Don't forget! We have to wake up at 5 today for the reshoot!" Minji also yells.

Getting up at 5AM to do a reshoot on the concept photos rubbed Haerin in the wrong way. Why does she have to suffer her precious sleep for a stranger?

You notice how loud Haerin has gotten when it comes to the dishes all floating in the sink, causing all sorts of clatters and ruckus.

"Everything okay over there?" You ask, coming over to help her with drying the dishes.

Haerin tenses up, feeling anger creep up her neck. "Just back off, okay? I got this."

"I just wanted to help you?"

The feline-like female scoffs, inhaling and exhaling deeply. "I don't need your help."

"What's your problem?" You fume, looking at the plate in the other's hand.

Haerin shrugs, rinsing off the plate and placing it aside for her to dry later with a wipe cloth.

"Oh. I get it. You're still mad that I messed up during today's practice."

Haerin rolls her eyes, knowing you at least got one thing right today and it was the fact that yes, you did mess up and yes, Haerin did get upset about it. She is not going to sit here and watch you jeopardize her career that she's worked so HARD for. No, Haerin was not going to let that happen.

"Pack the cookies up." She unemotionally says, continuing to rinse the remaining plates trying to not let her anger take the best of her.

Not wanting to pick a fight, you obliged and went over to where the tray of cookies sat on the kitchen's island. Opening the container sitting besides them, you placed the heart-shaped cookies into it with a soft smile at how thankful you are for the members.

"Try not to screw it up for the rest of us during the reshoot, yeah?" Haerin dries the last plate up and places them in the cabinet. "I'm getting ready for bed, close the lights out after."

What the hell was that about?

Most importantly, what the fuck is up Haerin's ass for her to be so mean and rude all the time.

"I should've never left SM..." You couldn't help but to quietly mumble under your breath, regrets are finally sinking in to you.

"I wonder how Y/N unnie is going to look in the outfits." Hyein jumps up in excitement upon arriving to yours, Minji's and Danielle's dressing room.

Hanni nods in agreement. "I still can't believe they put me with you two and not them."

"Excuse me?" The youngest whips her head in instant speed, looking offended. "It's bad enough I have to share a room with you, you think I want to paired up with you, Hanni unnie?"

Haerin sighs, knocking on the door of the dressing room.

"Coming!" Danielle says from the other side, opening the door slightly and letting out a cute noise before widening the door to let her members in. "You guys look so good!"

Haerin smiles softly in response, linking her arm with Australian.

"Where's my Y/Nnnie?" Hanni walks in, scanning the room before taking a seat down on the couch.

Not that word again.

"She left real quick to get a drink with Minji unnie." Danielle replies, dragging Haerin with her to sit down on the couch in the dressing room. "But omg guys! She looks super pretty. Like she was already pretty when she first arrived, right? But after her hair got done, her makeup and her fit of clothing, AHH she looks amazing!"

The Vietnamese smirks, looking at the other Aussie. "Sounds like Jihye has a crush?"

"What? No." Danielle flat out denies.

However, Haerin stares at her best friend, confused as to why her face is suddenly all flushed bright pink.

"You sure?" Hyein asks, wondering about the actual truth. "Because if you do, you have two other girls fighting for her attention."

Danielle gasps, covering her mouth. "Omg, whoo?"

"Me!" Hanni retorts, rolling her eyes.

"And Minji unnie."

Haerin cannot believe it. She really absolutely can't.

'What are they on about?' Haerin cannot help but to think to herself.

"Whether you guys have a crush or not, we're a team so nothing is going to happen anyways." Haerin breaks the slight argue, unlocking her phone to interact with 'Bunnies'.

"Okay, whatever." Hanni replies, rolling her eyes again at the younger's 'nerd' talk.

A knock on the door leads the other four girls startled, wondering who it is.

"Hey Dani, we're back." Minji announces from outside.

Danielle quickly fixes her hair, releasing her arm from her best friend's, she gets up with a slight prance. Clearing her throat before opening the door.

"You guys took so long, I was starting to miss you." She frowns with a pout, earning a small giggle from you.

Haerin turns her head at the sound from you, she feels like she suddenly can't breathe at your appearance.

Dani was right.

"Y/N unnie! You look so pretty!" Hyein jumps up, darting towards you, Minji and Danielle.

Seeing Hyein, you smile and wave at her. Darting your eyes to the other two members sitting on the couch, Hanni waves back with a wink while Haerin stares at you before looking back down at her phone.

You conclude that the member is an iPad baby.

"Y/N, this bow matches you so well!" Danielle said, for what seems like the 6th time today.

She tries to look occupied with her phone but her eyes are constantly staring down at the way Minji's arms is linked with yours and how Danielle is fixing the cute bow in your hair.

"Are you excited for the concept photos, unnie?" Hyein asks, leaving you wide-eyes at the sudden question.

You start to walk, to take a seat and everyone follows you, wanting to know your answer. Most importantly, they want to know how you feel about being apart of the team, on the second day.

Something naturally must be pulling you close to Haerin, because somehow, sitting besides her just feels right, even if the both of you haven't come to terms yet with one another.

Haerin feels her body tense at the scent coming from you; she was always weak for pretty girls who smell good. God, the universe is starting to curse her, this has to be karma, right?

The cat-eyed female doesn't know if it's because of the way your hair is beautifully styled in waves; kind of similar to Minji's hair, or if it's because your eye makeup seems to accentuate your already natural features or if it could be the cute elf ears added to you for the concept. Something about you makes Haerin have a weird burning and itchy sensation in the back of her throat and it pisses her off.

"I am excited." You can't help but to feel grateful for how welcoming everyone, well mostly, are to you. "You all have been so welcoming, it feels like I've been here since day one, thank you all."

The Wasian female giggles, screaming as she squeezes your cheeks. "AHH, Y/N, you are SOO CUTE!"

"After we do solo shoots and group shots, we'll be in pairs." Minji announces, taking the piece of paper she was handed earlier in the morning from her coat pocket.

Her eyes read the pairs, a small little smirk is tugging on her lips. "Hanni and Jihye are paired up, Y/N and Haerin are paired up, and Hyeinnie and I are paired up."

The Aussie line sighs, relieved that they're partners but upset at how Haerin manages to be SO lucky to get paired up with you.

Haerin cannot help but to feel sort of smug and nervous irritated knowing that she's yet paired up with you again.

Everyone watches you as you pose in the water, holding a white rose in your mouth as you look over at the camera with a specific look in your eyes.

"She's a natural.." Minji couldn't take her eyes off of you and at how you being in front of the camera looks like such an every day thing to you.

Haerin understands now. She understands why SM kept casting you; you do have that star quality in you, you were born to be an idol. She gets it.

Just how much did Min Hee Jin went through lengths to snatch you from the basements of SM.

"You two are definitely going to kill this couple shoot." Danielle encourages her best friend, with a small 'fighting' symbol made with her fist. "I'm positive you two will lead one another well during the shoots."

Couple shoot?

"Good! Y/N-shi, each photo is coming out very well!" The photographer praises you, making you feel red about it which earns an orchestra of 'awes' from your members.

Even Haerin couldn't help but to let out a small smile at it.

Wait, what? Did Haerin just smile at you?

Why does the smile from her face makes you feel even more shy?

"She's all red from the water but somehow it makes the shots look even better." The director says to his assistant, who agrees with a fast nod. "Fans will love her, for sure."

Is he right? Would 'Bunnies' love you?

"Okay Y/N-shi, you're all set!" The upperman in the industry says with a proud smile, looking at you like you're his own daughter. "After Danielle-shi and Hanni-shi, we'll get your shoots with Haerin-shi."

Haerin feels her breath hitch at the thought of doing a couple shoot with you.

"Haerin-ah, go over to the dressing room with the stylists to get prepared." Minji places her hand on the feline female, indicating her to follow the two hair and makeup stylists. "Y/N will be with you shortly."

The younger nods with a half-smile, peering over to where the stylists wait for you and her. She gives another smile to the oldest member before walking off to the pretty unnies, hehe.

"Thank you! You've all worked hard." You bow to the staff and director, getting out of the water as you quickly scurry over to where your members were standing.

"Y/N! You did so good out there, oh my god!" Hanni wraps a towel around you to stop you from shivering.

Minji agrees, nodding continuously with a pretty smile. "You were really pretty, Y/N."

"You really know how to set a mood for the pictures." Danielle can't help but to compliment you, making sure her eyes meet yours.

Hyein jumps up and tackles you. "Unnie, you did amazing!"

"Hyeinnie, you're going to get wet!" You warn the girl with concern, but ultimately, you still hugged her back.

"Haerin already went over with her stylists to the dressing room to start getting ready for the pairing shoot." Minji informs you. "Just follow with your stylists and you'll meet with Haerin."

You hold the towel around your shoulders, nodding at the oldest's words. "Thank you, Minji unnie."

The leader widens her eyes again at 'unnie', but she manages to calm herself down, ignoring the way her ears are burning up. "Of course, Y/N."

The youngest snorts at the oldest, earning a small smack on the back from Minji. "OW!"

january 27, 2024; publishing date

Pt. 3 IS UP! thank you all for the love and support on muse, it's making me happy and excited to keep writing the mini series :) i'm SOOO SORRY for how late it is; been kind of going through it 😭😭

taglist: @ilovekimminji , @justme-idle , @kyuusberry , @masuowo , @iraa567 , @shycreationdreamland , @idunnofr , @imahybridicannotbekilled , @twicesserafim, @awkwardtoafault

#kpop x reader #new jeans x reader #kpop imagines #new jeans imagines #haerin x reader #kang haerin x reader

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ajortga · 5 months

Text

always for you

pairing: jenna ortega x fem reader

thank you for your support! honestly i'm so so grateful you guys like my writing<3 this was from a request that i loved making, (especially the texting part.) requests are packed! theres so many more so i won't be checking inboxes till i'm finished with the majority of them! to whomever requested, i hope you like this!

can I request another soft!jenna x r?? I know your requests are closed, and you can do this anytime if your free. I can wait.

Where r's phone is acting up but doesn't want to buy a new phone cause r is broke, jenna sees r struggle with the lag and buys r a new phone

(shes so cute)

Jenna always thought you were too thoughtful and selfless, you always thought of others before yourself, you gave love to every person you possibly could before you could even love yourself.

You gifted Jenna the new black noise canceling headphones for Christmas, you loved music as much as she did. But even with your immense love, you still managed to have wired earphones, though they were tangled almost everyday.

There was a day the brunette noticed the way your phone had been acting up. She won’t mention how you dropped it in the bathtub while trying to give your cat a bath, and she’ll leave out how it somehow didn’t crack the numerous times you dropped it on the table or carpet. But whenever she texted you, you’d take longer to respond, apologizing endlessly.

“goodmorning my love! my phone was glitching again, it keeps bringing me back to this stupid dancing vegetable i put on for nephew cash last week. It took me a while to finally get back to messages! i'm sorry:((.”

“oh my god it did it again, now it’s a piece of radish dancing”

Sometimes you’d respond halfway and then stop there too cause your phone would crash

"y/nnnn, baby, i used the damn salt for our cookies instead of sugar and i put so much and i wanted to make a pickup line for you. i was literally pretending you were there and said "you're as sweet as a cookie" and i bit into it and it tasted so salty and i coughed so much"

“HAHA oh my gosh your like the silliest person i know, you literally remind me of-”"

10 minutes later

“MY PHONE CRASHED AGAIN”

“it did it again, it kept bringing me to different tabs so i had to get back in here. baby i can’t even talk to you properly anymore, i think we should-”

25 minutes later

“THE DANCING VEGETABLE IS ON MY SCREEN AGAIN”

"jenna? are you there?"

"i amm here"

"IT'S FRUIT NOW"

"baby 😭"

She did talk to you about getting a phone, she knew that you wanted to spend your money on others until yourself. You saved a little portion for yourself, so your portion made you a little broke. But you insisted that if it still worked and was helping the way it was supposed to, it would be okay.

It was funny to her, she would try charging both your phones before you snuggled to sleep together, but she always struggled on charging your phone because it wouldn’t charge.

You could hear her grunting as she cursed under her breath, “You have to use the first charging port and twist it at an 80 degree angle to the right, the phone has to be facing up.”

As it finally charged, she made a small sigh and smiled as she looked at you, softly saying, “You’re always too thoughtful Y/N, there’ll be one day where life will give it all back to you.”

You nuzzled into her chest, “As long as I can make others happy, that’s all I need to make myself happy,” you said drowsily as you rested on her chest. She kissed your forehead as you dozed off, cradling you to sleep.

The next day, Jenna got up so early and unattached herself from your grasp, making you make a small noise as you subconsciously looked for her embrace.

The bed creaked as you made a small murmur, looking up at Jenna barely awake.

You yawned, really sleepy, “Where are you going??” You said sadly, a little tired pout forming.

You sounded so drowsy as Jenna giggled, kissing your temple, “I need to pick up some strawberries, we need some pancakes for our breakfast and some other goodies sunshine. It’ll be packed in the afternoon, it’ll be quick, I promise.”

You made a sad noise, your hands reaching up for her and scrunching her arms as she hugged you, taking her giant stuffed animal and letting you hold it.

Soon enough from her scent on the stuffy, you were asleep, snuggling it.

Jenna changed into a sweater, jeans, and wore her headphones you gave her as she was off.

She was going to buy you that phone, no matter what you said.

Her footsteps crunched against the leaves as she listened to her music, getting a new idea as a proud smile sneaked on her lips.

She entered the electronic store, buying you the latest white phone that she had as well. She also went to the head gear section and bought you Sony headphones, a white one that would look so pretty on you. Her fingers signed the signature as she payed with her card, buying you guys two matching phone cases with two black cats on them.

Two hours later she came home, opening your bedroom door as she walked in.

“Y/N, sunshine, I’m here,” she whispered as you made a small murmur again, opening your eyes.

“Mhh…”

A small grin appears on her face as she shows you the new phone and headphones as you stare.

You were so tired you stared at it in disbelief and confusion.

Then you looked at her, your eyes teary as you pouted, “Baby.. Why? You didn’t have to-”

“You deserve it, you always think about me and all your friends hardly before yourself. And you deserve the world. I want you to be able to use your phone and those headphones. I like seeing you happy.”

Your pout turned into a wide smile as you pulled her collar to your level and hugged her tightly.

“Thank you. You really didn’t have to do that for me," you said, your voice happy as you nuzzle into her, not wanting to let go.

“Always.”

“I love you.”

Jenna smiles, her soft lips pressing to your temple, "I love you too."

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega x you #tara carpenter x reader #vada cavell x reader #jenna ortega imagine #jenna marie ortega #jenna ortega x y/n #tara carpenter x you #vada cavell x y/n

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qqueenofhades · 2 years

Note

i do genuinely hesitate to ask, as i am sure i will find out more than i meant to in time, but atm my various feeds and an uninformed google are not telling me what most recently exploded about the british government, so if you have the time and the inclination i'm agog for your summary/take

HOO BOY. It has been a Things Exploding In the British Government day to the extent that in the hour-odd between my previous post and this one, I had to go back and check if anything ELSE had exploded while I wasn't looking. Everything that they are currently denying will probably be confirmed within the next 12 hours or less, though, so nobody get too comfortable.

Anyway, we all remember how Liz Truss succeeded Boris Johnson as Prime Minister, met the Queen, the Queen immediately fucking croaked which honestly was the funniest time she could possibly have done it, the country ground to a total halt for ten days, and then when it got going again, Truss and her chancellor (aka finance minister, for those of you happily ignorant of British politics), Kwasi Kwarteng, proposed a Thatcherite wet-dream economic plan of unfunded massive tax cuts for rich people, because something something Stimulate Growth. We are also generally aware that this crashed the pound through the floor, blew up people's mortgages and other mildly important bills, and did nothing to deal with the actual energy bills/cost of living crisis currently engulfing the UK. Oops.

After absolutely everybody, including the commie socialists at the Bank of England, screamed OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU MORONS DOING???, and the day after Kwarteng insisted he would absolutely remain in post and he had 100% confidence in the Plan, he... got sacked for creating this, the Plan that Truss had asked him to deliver and which had won her the Tory party members' election. This made him officially the second-shortest serving chancellor in UK history aside from the guy who literally died in office. Womp womp. That will be a pub quiz answer for you. You're welcome.

Having spent all this time hiding from the press, then giving eight-minute press conferences during which you could literally track the pound crashing in real time, and performing more U-turns than a dancing dashboard hood ornament, Liz Truss took a break from her busy schedule of conducting the Economic Disaster Waltz in the key of B Fucked to appoint Jeremy Hunt as the new chancellor. Jeremy Hunt is mostly notable for being a Tory who can put his pants on without assistance and being a genteel failure at all the previous cabinet posts he's held, which is why he is now regarded as a "safe pair of hands" in a party that has dissolved into a lot of shit-flinging coked-up gibbons who can only scream BREXIT BREXIT BREXIT and IMMIGRATION IS BAD!!! (Side note: they recently had to cancel a festival designed to "celebrate the freedoms of Brexit" due to logistics issues associated with, you guessed it, Brexit. That is not directly relevant to the current clusterfuck, but it is too funny not to include.)

To nobody's surprise, Jeremy Hunt then ripped up the entire economic plan and offered a new one, which was not measurably better than the last one but at least reversed some of the most egregious cuts, and which made everyone ask if Liz Truss had been tied up and duct-taped in the boot of a Range Rover and/or if Hunt had secretly staged a coup with the help of Larry the Downing Street Cat and taken over the government. Probably nobody in the Tory party would mind very much if he had, because they were all busy either planning how to oust Truss or publicly denying that they were indeed planning to oust Truss. One of the popular names for her successor? Boris Johnson! No, I am not making this up. Maybe this has all been a horrible dream and we're going to wake up and find that BoZo is back in charge, after massive public scandal for being a serial liar, which he had been from Day 1, finally made him resign. I repeat, what even the hell is going on here. Nobody knows. Meanwhile, Hunt is warning about even more budget austerity and "eye-watering" cuts to public services that can least afford it, because the last decade didn't result in quite enough preventable deaths for the Tories' tastes, and because they have been forced into this by a car crash completely of their own making.

....anyway. This brings us, more or less, to today. Yesterday, Truss refused to commit to protecting something called the pensions triple lock, which guarantees that old-age pensions (the UK form of social security) will rise in line with inflation, costs, or earnings. A) Inflation in the UK is now at a whopping 10.1%, and B) given as old people are literally the only demographic still willing to vote for the Tories, this miiiiiight seem like an even more unnecessarily stupid and self-sabotaging idea. Sure enough, U-Turn Number Eight Million was duly performed this morning, and Truss insisted she had always intended for the triple lock to be protected. But would Universal Credit and other welfare/benefits programs also be adjusted upward for inflation? HELL NAH! THOSE ARE FOR POOR PEOPLE! GROSS!

This, however, was only the beginning of the unpeeling of the latest idiot banana. Keir Starmer, riding high on the back of recent polls that have given Labour a 36-point lead and predicted that the Tories could be left with as few as 22 seats in Parliament if a general election was called tomorrow (leaving the SNP as the official opposition), appeared at Prime Minister's Questions and got to shoot fish in a barrel. Truss did not dissolve into a pile of goo on the floor and/or have a bucket of water thrown on her and melt into Margaret Thatcher, so that was taken as a win. Well, at least for two hours or so. Then Suella Braverman, the ex-Attorney General who had briefly run for the leadership when BoZo resigned, and who exists along with Priti Patel in order to prove that in the modern Tory party, women of color can heroically be just as much as awful xenophobic monsters as crusty old white dudes, resigned as Home Secretary. Did you even know she was Home Secretary? Neither did she. She took over Patel's job in a bid to apparently make Patel look cute and cuddly by comparison, as she is even more determined to do horrible things to migrants as much as possible. The official reason given for her resignation was that she sent an official document from her personal email account, and this had something to do with immigration and/or the Office of Budget Responsibility forecast that the Tories have, in the valiant spirit of freedom, resisted actually publishing for any of their current economic plans. CONSERVATIVES ARE GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY!! yell people on both sides of the Atlantic. Oh-kay.

Anyway, Braverman used her resignation letter to blast Truss for pretending that everything was fine and dandy, which means the BUT HER EEEEEEMAILS was absolutely just an excuse and even she wanted off this sinking ship as fast as possible. Grant Shapps is now the Home Secretary. It's not important. The point is, if more ministers start resigning, the government will probably implode just as it did when they deserted BoZo en masse. What the hell happens then? Fuck if anyone knows. Since they will, as noted, get absolutely cosmically annihilated if they call a General Election, the Tories will resist doing that with all their might (the next one isn't due until 2024, which is about 1004329 years away at the current rate that time is passing here). Truss was already elected by a tiny minority of the country (about 160,000 Tory party members). STICK RISHI SUNAK IN THERE AND CHANGE THE RULES AGAIN?? HECK, SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN! KEEP THOSE MUSICAL CHAIRS COMING, CHAPS!

(Also: we will recall the Daily Star's Lettuce Cam, where a picture of Liz Truss has been placed next to a head of lettuce to see if she is kicked out of office before it rots away. It now has a special companion, Tofu. This is because Braverman, just yesterday, gave a speech attacking the latest round of climate protesters as being spurred on by Labour, the Lib Dems, and the "Guardian-reading, tofu-eating wokerati," which she doubtless thought was a very clever line at the time. Because British Twitter is British Twitter, the Tofu: 1, Braverman: 0 jokes have been rife.)

And since we are still not done: tonight, Labour forced a vote on a fracking ban which was being treated as a de facto confidence vote in the government. Aka if the Tories voted for it, they would be considered to be defying the government. Because Britain is a cartoon country run by clowns, the method of Parliamentary voting literally involves walking through Door A for Aye and Door B for Nay. The "whips," or the people whose job it is to assure that party members vote according to the government's position, have thus been known to physically stuff recalcitrant MPs through these doors, because Hail Britannia, or something. So we soon had reports that the anti-fracking vote was, dare I say it, a total clusterfrack, and the Tory whips were literally throwing crying Tory MPs through the Nay door so they would Vote To Support The Government. This sounds like a beginning to a Monty Python sketch, but it is just another ordinary evening in British politics in 2022! (Did Truss herself vote? Or BoZo, Patel, or any of the other Tory big beasts? Nope. Evidently she was "too distracted" with all the other crises going on, which probably means she just didn't want to show her face or she might get killed. Hard to blame her.)

So: the fracking ban was defeated, Labour MPs were like "oh my god the sheer clownery," even Tory MPs were spitting mad, we soon had more rumors that both the Tory chief whip and the deputy chief whip had resigned (currently in the Official Denial stage, so yeah, that will be confirmed before tomorrow morning), and I haven't even mentioned the part where one of Liz Truss's press aides admitted that they used to lie about various relatives of hers having just died so Truss didn't have to do interviews (actual quote: "just aunts and cousins, not any major relatives!"). We all wondered if that wasn't actually a lie but the minor members of the Truss family had voluntarily decided to die rather than have anyone know that they were related to her. Either that or she just sent MI6 after them. It's entirely possible.

#rionsanura #ask #politics for ts #uk politics #i truly cannot explain the magnitude of this clown show #truly #long post

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