#cat owners | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

niqhtlord01 · 6 months

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Humans are weird: Cats

Alien: Thanks for inviting me over. Alien: I’ve never been in a human’s home before so this will be- *sees cat sitting on couch* Alien: What is that? Human: That is Fred. *Turns to cat* Human: Say hi Fred. Fred: *MEOW* Alien: I was not aware you had a roommate. Human: What? Human: No, he’s my pet. Alien: You keep a sentient being as a pet? Are you a monster? Human: No; but Fred is. Fred: *MEOW* ----------------------

Alien: *goes to sit down, accidentally steps on fluffy ball* *Cat’s head shoots up* Human: You need to run. Alien: What? Why? Human: You just stepped on Fred’s favorite toy. Alien: So that means I am in danger? Fred: *low growling sound* Human: It’s too late….. --------------------------

*Thirteen stitches later* Alien: How can something so fluffy be so angry!?!?! Human: Domestication probably. Alien: Is that not meant to breed out the violence? Human: Normally yes, but with cats it just condensed it. ------------------------

*Next day* *Door slowly opens* Alien: Is it safe to come in? Human: Let me check. *Picks up Fred and holds him in front of alien* Fred: *Low growling noise* Human: No it is n- Alien: *Slams door shut quickly* ---------------------

*Two days later* Alien: *Sipping drink* Alien: What can I do to win over your furry slave? Human: First off, he is a pet not a slave. Human: And even if that was the situation I technically am Fred’s slave. Alien: *Surprised* You are one of the most advanced species in the galaxy; having mastered space travel and the manipulation of matter itself. Human: And yet I am the one cleaning up his shits. Alien: *Opens mouth to counter, then sips instead when nothing comes to mind* ----------------------

Human: Why does it matter that you want Fred to like you? Human: I thought you hated him? Alien: Were he not an animal I would have sworn a blood oath to destroy him and his family for what he has done to my face. Human: I ask again; why does it matter? Alien: Because for reasons beyond my understanding I feel compelled to have that little death machine love me. Human: Welcome to being a cat owner. ------------------------

*Three days later* *Door slowly opens* Alien: Are you ready? Human: I’ve got Fred. Alien: And you’re sure this will work? Human: Positive. *Alien walks in and Fred starts growling* Human: Get ready; I’m releasing Fred. *Puts Fred down who begins sprinting towards alien* *Alien holds out tiny tube with goop pouring out end* Fred: *MEOW!* *Stops murder sprint and begins sniffing and licking tube enthusiastically* Alien: So you bribe him with food? Human: Works on us humans as well. ------------------

Alien: Do you think I have won him over? *Fred walks up and brushes against Alien* Human: I think you’re good.

Alien: It felt like being embraced by the goddess herself. --------------------

Alien: So besides eating, sleeping, and acts of disproportionate violence; what else do they like to do? Human: Fred loves to play. *Picks up laser pointer and flashes it around room* *Fred’s head shoots up, does the butt wiggle, then lunges at the laser* Alien: What fascinating technology. Human: Yeah; we also use this to guide missiles for air strikes in wars. Alien: Your pet enjoys playing with tools of death? Human: I think that’s one of the reasons he enjoys it so much. ------------------

Alien: *Looks down at shirt* Alien: What is this? Human: Oh yeah, forgot to mention he’s a heavier shedder. Human: Sorry about that. Alien: Do not worry, for I too shed my skin. *Proceeds to peel off skin until raw muscle and bone is left* *Casually tosses aside empty skin suit which Fred walks over to and cuddles in* Human: Thank you for that fresh nightmare material. Alien: *slurring words due to no lips* Yoooou’re welllllcoommme.

#humans are insane #humans are space oddities #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #writing #original writing #niqhtlord01 #funny #cats #cat owners

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clumsycalico · 2 months

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#not mine #this was a repost of a repost so idk who it belonged to #creative #diy #cat tower #funny snaps #cats #cat owners #cool #upcycle #boxes #box tower #cat lovers

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silver-ace-of-spades · 3 months

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#spade yells into the void #catblr #cats of tumblr #cat owners #feline friday #cats #cat #please reblog

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thedepartmentofdiscoveries · 2 months

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#found photos #cat #feline #marketplace #cat owners #this pic goes hard

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learningfromlosing · 4 months

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Men who prefer cats > because they know what it's like to give space and respect boundaries

#i said what i said #cats #cat owners #cat dad's

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moondaisymoon · 4 months

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nothing cures my depression like my cat finally coming home in the middle of the night and deciding he wants to cuddle up and sleep leaning against my legs

#cat lovers #cats #cat #cat cat cat #how many cat tags r there on tumblr??#anyway #i love my cat #might kiss his lil forehead later #little guy #does this count as #girlblogging #or is this too specific #for like #cat owners #idk #cat owner

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whydidisavethistomyphone · 6 months

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#meme #animals #cat vs dog #cat owners #dog owners

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cheeseanonioncrisps · 1 year

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#art #my art #cats #cat owners #pets #comic #funny #id in alt text

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i-wear-the-cheese · 6 months

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Okay so cat people, I just realised that if I boop my cat on the nose he calms down immediately, like it's become a grounding technique for him when he's uncertain. Anyone else have a cat who does this? As payment for your attention please have a picture of the man in question. This is Leon:

#cat #cats of tumblr #cat parenting #cat owners #anxious pets

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jannieodee · 7 months

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Its FINALLY that time of the year where I buy everything off the shelves

#everything is cat themed #black cats #comics #cat comics #art #cute #design #illustration #jan and odee #costume #halloween #cat owners #cat ownership

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funny-cute-weird · 6 months

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🙋‍♀️

#funny #cat owners #funny cat memes #cat memes

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poetryorchard · 3 months

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🐶 Join @wheatfieldspoet & @nashira for a creative writing workshop inspired by the deeply unique bond between pets & their humans–in joy, in grief, and the days in between.

🍊 If you can’t make it to the live session, sign up anyway because you will still receive all the workshop materials including unique writing prompts. Our past workshop documents are available on our Patreon! Support us there for one free ticket a month to a workshop of your choice!

🎟️ Tickets £1+ / sign up here!