shotmrmiller - Tumblr blog

shotmrmiller · 2 hours

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gotta kiss and nibble Simon’s chubby tummy 😩😩

you are soO real for this. god i love my lovers with some MEAT, some pudge, some rolls some thickness like give it to meeeee pleaAAASE.

dude and i know his happy trail is nice and dark. we like our boys HAIRY!!! Bears! They're all bears i won't hear otherwise except for johnny, he's fucking wildly hairy already so i believe he waxes it all off

mr. miyagi

yknow?

anyway, i would feed simon everything and anything i could get my hands on whenever he's home. like ill make everything by hand too if that's what it takes to see him put away food and ask me for seconds goddamnit.

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shotmrmiller · 4 hours

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This song is absolutely Toxic!Gaz coded 🥵 and was compelled to share (I’ve also listed to this about 10 times in the last 45 minutes since discovering it)

you must be a witch because i have been nonstop thinking about toxic gaz. well, more appropriately, stalker!gaz. the one that saved you in piccadilly circus and even though he's setting off alarm bells in your head, your friends have you thinking yourself paranoid, delusional. maybe just straight crazy.

i will be adding this to my spotify playlist thank you very much for your contribution ❤️

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shotmrmiller · 4 hours

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What if slasher!Simon finds out his kid wished for a sibling for his birthday?

then he's stealing one, i imagine. reader can't handle two small kiddos when simon's out doing god knows what all hours of the night.

and yes, reader doesn't know anything other than when she asks questions for her cute little slasher romance book, simon gets answers. that's it.

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shotmrmiller · 4 hours

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Himbo= dumb and handsome guy

😭 ik that soap is a brilliant man but i feel like that's him just in social settings. like the man can't read the room, or maybe he simply doesn't want to.

(i literally know someone like this irl, an absolute brilliant man who could argue me in fucking circles about literally anything but if i tell him to back me up on a lie he's immediately like WHAT WHY??? sir. you're fired. like if you walked up to him at a bar and told him to help you, he'd pull away first then ask why? what do you need help with?)

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shotmrmiller · 4 hours

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uhm, hello! This is my first ever request and I was wondering, how would Simon react if you felt uncomfortable wearing his clothes? Like, I was forced to wear my first boyfriend’s hoodie and I hated the feeling, so after I felt kinda repulsed by it. but I understand if u don’t wanna! have a great day!!

hello! i feel like he wouldn't care. honestly, he wouldn't make you wear anything of his. he's not a dog that feels the need to mark property。

either you take it because you want it, which feel free to snatch it out his closet, or he's content letting you run around in whatever the hell you want.

and yeah, that means glammed up to the top on a crisp tuesday morning or in your jammies on a saturday afternoon.

because he's grown and he'll like you in just about anything (although bffr, his ultimate preference is nude)

i hope you feel better soon, forced to do something you don't want to by anyone is foul:(

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shotmrmiller · 6 hours

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Chris Redfield is a perfect example of depressed/traumatized himbo. An ongoing meme is him being nicknamed boulder-puncher because in an older game, he LITERALLY PUNCHED A BOULDER WHILE IN AN ACTIVE VOLCANO B/C IT WAS IN HIS WAY. ilhsm

😭😭 THEN DONT STAND IN HIS WAY IDK

that is fucking hilarious what

also not a himbo like please what does that even mean 😭

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shotmrmiller · 7 hours

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i know nothing about this man other than the biceps but i'll be damned if i don't simp over this man too

BARKING

Chris Redfield does not view you as a catch.

You are not meant to be taken in such an unassuming light. To be caged. Molded into a lifeless husk. Cold marble replacing the warm light of the deity he knew you to be.

You are meant to be worshiped.

To be looked upon with a sense of grace and respect. To have men waiting at your every beck and call as the world worked itself aimlessly around your existence.

This was his reasoning, of course. He couldn't think of any other rational thought when he was around you. He attributed his mindlessness to an all power he could not contend with. Merely succumbing to the divine ways about you until he was nothing more than a prophet groveling at your feet.

Pleading for your foresight. Begging for a taste of your bread. And once you gave him a drop of your sacred wine, he was forever bestowed to you. Etched within the flying cathedral of your heart as he made his repentance to you every night within the sanctity of your bed.

I have absolutely no idea what this is, but this man is taking over my brain, and I don't know what to do about it.

@homicidal-slvt , this is all your fault (thank you)

#chris redfield #resident evil

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shotmrmiller · 8 hours

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Was homeschooled 6th grade and up. Found out real fast what classes were actually necessary for day to day work/life. There is seriously more unnecessary shit in schools than you need to learn. If it interests you, pick up an extra class. But day to day? I saw a group of middle schoolers learning about dna sequences like they were going into forensics. They didn’t even choose the topic their school did. When are you going to need that info between now and high school? You guys don’t know how to cook one meal that isn’t ramen, but you know how dna works?! You can do calculus but have no idea how to count change back to a customer?

it’s really really sad.

same thing with college

imagine being forced to pay for filler classes like they have something to do with your career. i remember i paid for some home room-esque ass class where they forced me to talk to those people in it like i gave a fuck about any of them.

like they wanted me to go out of my way and meet up with them for a project about like the school or something i just-

don't waste my time.

garbage.

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shotmrmiller · 9 hours

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mb has to wait a whole ass week bc color nail polish is out of regulation, but my color blind ass just grabbed a handsome nail polish color and ended up with suzi and the artic fox from OPI, not even gonna try to describe the color bc I see grey and I know it's not grey

it looks like a plum colour

it's very nice 👍🏽

like how do i even describe it

i need that shrimp-o-vision with their like 16 color receptors

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shotmrmiller · 9 hours

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But what if it's the other way tho? Reader had an day SO awful at work that it just killed the horny dead for that day and all she want to do was just sit in a hot tub and eat spicy ramen while watching some dumb tv show and not fuck while those two bozos are raring to go

i'm team just lie back and let them do the work it'll be quick they promise

fr tho like you'd have to be sooooo sore and achy post fucking those two slabs of thick ass meat like there's gotta be some ritual they give you for times like that

ahhh but to LISTEN TO ME i'm sO rabid

like imagine calling up one of the other 2 to take your spot and if you want, only if you're interested (+ a little begging from johnny til simon tells him to sod off) you can watch.

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shotmrmiller · 9 hours

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even better if she’s a brat. Just throws a tantrum and calls *sighs dreamily* daddy price

DADDY PRICE

2chainz once wisely said

one wife (kyle)

a mistress (daddy price)

and a girlfriend (neighbor ghoap)

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shotmrmiller · 9 hours

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she comes home all hot and bothered (homegirl is ready to FUCK) and the two are just laying there, confused and unsure what she’s on about bc they already got butt naked nasty maybe a million times today

NOOOOO i stg i just screamed i would be FURIOUS if i come home to limp dick because they fucked each other stupid

i'd be so tight i'm just telling them i finna go get laid peace

they better start getting hard cuz i WILL text my toxic ex cuz he may be shit but the sex isn't.

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shotmrmiller · 9 hours

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ghoap x reader where reader messed up her schedule and ended up having to work the day they get back from a mission. They end up teasing her all day and sending her the nastiest texts and then go radio silent the hour before she’s off 🫢

wait wait cuz what if they did all of that to each other but they 'mistakenly' used the chat that you are in because y'all are neighbors.

you're biting your knuckles at work because how dare they be so lewd, like don't they live together? can't they just wait til they're both off work to get down and dirty????

oh my goodddd them sending dick pics to 'each other' in the GC!!!!

🥴 i would lose my marbles

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shotmrmiller · 10 hours

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i didn't learn shit from any of my math classes, all but like one of my teachers just gave me 80s or above if I just tried on my work, so id give some half ass answer and call it a day. only thing I understand is fractions and stuff bc that's needed for changing a recipes size

i didn't learn anything from geo cuz my teacher would get like a bad 2nd period then didn't teach for the rest of the day, just slapped the projector up and was like take notes and figure it out. also i'm pretty sure she was prejudiced towards hispanics.

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shotmrmiller · 10 hours

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i am from Texas and my bitchass school just sent us straight to geometry

no fucking way lmao back in my day we did alg 1, geo, alg2 precal

that blows! i hated geometry

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shotmrmiller · 10 hours

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listening to rob zombie full blast as I do my little brothers algebra homework even though I was not taught this shit in school and I'm a culinary student, not a mathematician

oh? what were you taught in school? ik i went up to pre cal in HS.

also, fun fact, in texas we (idk if it's still the same from when i was in school) take texas history in 7th grade lmao

we also have our own pledge!

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shotmrmiller · 10 hours

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actively resisting the temptation to have johnny tell the boys over a pint that he's also got himself a girl back home, one he can't wait to sink his teeth into since you're choosing to take it slow and he absolutely respects that and when kyle asks for a pic or something, it's you.

simon's girl.

the one who bakes dry chicken and watches nature docus.

and he's proud of all of his pictures, especially the ones that he took from outside your dust-covered bedroom window.

john just swivels in his barstool and aggressively puffs his cigar, kyle pats him on the back like nice but does she even know who you are and simon's not even there because he always goes to you after work.

#johnny soap mctavish x reader #simon ghost riley #god save johnny if simon finds out #maybe he can share #snatch her right on up and take her somewhere nice #where she won't have to work that pedestrian 9-5 of hers

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