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audhd-nightwing · 7 months

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batfam as new girl quotes

steph: where are you, tim? this place is fancy and i don’t know which fork to kill myself with.

***

dick (16 y/o): i’ll take you through the whole thing. i’ll be like your guide.

jason (13 y/o): like gandalf through middle-earth?

dick: ok, first of all, let’s take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave where no one will ever find them.

jason: except smeagol. he lives in a cave.

***

tim: you text me “happy monday.” what am i supposed to do with that?

damian: oh, i don’t know. maybe have a happy monday?

(he’s trying to be nice)

***

jason: would you consider us adorable?

dick: no! we’re adult men.

dick: we’re cute.

***

cass: you always see the worst in people.

damian: yeah, because people are the worst!

***

steph: i mean, bruce, we love you, but…

steph: but you’re not a man of the people.

bruce: of course i’m not a man of the people. i’m above the people.

***

cass: we’re a family. families talk about things.

jason: no, families ignore things until they go away.

***

new parent bruce: dick, do you want to go to sleep?

9 y/o dick: no way.

bruce: if you do, i’ll write you a check for $6,000.

***

duke: what are you doing in here?

tim: eating cookies and avoiding confrontation.

(in the bathroom at a gala)

***

steph: jason, come on, that’s like the president and the vice president not being best friends.

jason: they’re not best friends.

steph: come on. everybody knows they’re best friends.

***

dick: i’m in love!

damian: titus, clear my schedule. i need a word with our brother.

***

steph: duke, those shoes are not brown! they’re green!

duke: you guys are idiots! they’re as brown as money.

cass: what color is kermit the frog?

duke: brown! he’s a brown frog.

tim: duke! you’re color blind, dude.

***

bruce: darn it! has anyone seen my croquet cleats?

***

tim: hey guys, do you think i’m a good person?

steph: you’re a terrible person. it’s hilarious.

***

dick: i’m very quick on my… uh…

jason: did you just forget the word ‘feet’?

dick: feet, yeah.

(he’s been awake for 72 hours without sleep)

***

duke: i can’t believe i didn’t notice this before but damian, you are legitimately crazy.

damian: i think we’re all a little bit crazy, don’t you, thomas?

duke: no, i mean, you’re like aging ballerina, child chess prodigy, professional magician crazy.

damian: it’s my grandfather’s fault.

duke: yeah okay fair enough

***

tim: if i was doing something stupid, you definitely would be involved.

dick: yeah, you’re damn right i would be. and i would probably be there to make it even stupider.

***

bruce: has anyone seen my good pea coat?

***

steph: i brake for birds. i rock a lot of polka dots. i have touched glitter in the last 24 hours!

steph: and that doesn’t mean i’m not smart and tough and strong.

***

jason: are you insane, bruce? we’re not ready.

jason: that’s like taking a musical from rehearsals straight to broadway. you got to workshop it first.

(pushing the theatre kid jason agenda)

***

dick: you realize i say goodnight to you every night and you never say goodnight back?

dick: what is the problem, jason? do you not want me to have a good night?

jason: oh my god you’re so overdramatic

***

tim: please don’t mistake my measured blank tone for calmness, as i am filled with waters of rage.

(he’s at a gala)

***

bruce: damn it! i can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere!

***

duke: what a dumb idea.

duke: do it.

(he is an enabler)

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hunterbunter3000 · 1 year

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Price, sighing: Bad news, Team. We're stranded.

Sweetheart: WHAT!?! NOOOOO WE CANT STAY HERE WE NEED TO LEAVE

Alex: Sweetheart--

Sweetheart, franticly pacing: The WEREWOLVES come out at night, man.

Sweetheart: I DONT WANT NO BODY TO EAT ME

Sweetheart: I GOT THICK THIGHS

Sweetheart, pointing: I GOT A FAT ASS AND TITS MAN

Gaz, worried: Relax!

Sweetheart, flailing her arms: WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT AND NO ONES GONNA FIND OUR BODIES

Price: Come 'ere.

Sweetheart: WHAT

Price, pulling her in for a hug: You're having a nervous breakdown.

Sweetheart, whining and crying immediately:

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kermit-the-hag · 1 year

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Steve: Thank you guys for joining me on this momentous day. As you guys know, it's been a rough few years for me. I got dumped by Nancy, then had a bunch of meaningless sex. I opened myself up to love, I was hurt badly, and I closed myself up again… Mike is always being a dick to me.

Eddie: Off topic.

Steve: Okay, so I've decided to give up on women, and put all that energy into...

Eddie and Robin: [Hoping for his bisexual revelation]

Steve: [Excitedly holds up a potted plant] Tomatoes!

Robin: You know what? It was on us for thinking this wasn't gonna be stupid.

#fruity four #stranger things #robin buckley #steve harrington #eddie munson #incorrect stranger things quotes #new girl quotes #steddie #platonic stobin #stobin #stranger things meme

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i-wanna-die-like-now · 1 year

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I'm drunk and watching new girl so bam, that's how this came tobe

#artists on tumblr #digital art #digital doodle #my hero academia #bnha #boku no academia #midoriya izuku #bnha inko #inko x all might #yagi toshinori #new girl quotes

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once-upon-an-imagine · 3 months

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Remus: Hey, Prongs. Are you wearing your running bottoms? And your hoodie?

Sirius: Prongs, are you going running?

(James nods)

Lily (smiling): Have fun!

(James leaves)

Sirius (turning to Lily): Oh, my God. What is wrong with James, Evans?

Peter: Yeah, what happened? Are you guys okay?

Lily: James is going for a run. If anything, we should be asking what is right with him.

Remus: He only goes running if he's upset. And he's wearing his sad hoodie. And by the looks of it, it's been washed, which is bone-chilling.

Lily (smiles nervously): He's fine. Everything's okay.

You (enter, panicking): I just passed James on the street running, on purpose! Oh, my God!

(They all look at Lily)

Lily: Maybe I was wrong.

You (shouting out the window): JAMIE! Are you okay?! I see you! And I love you!

Lily: In my defense, no one here emotes in a normal way.

Sirius: That's fair.

#incorrect quotes #marauders #marauders quotes #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #lily evans #new girl quotes #source: new girl

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wulanvansunshine · 1 month

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Tattoo artist Barty struggling to come up with a specific design for Regulus, featuring three year old Luna..

Evan: Barty you have a ton of ideas, okay? A lot of i- idea notebooks!

Barty: I don’t wanna hear this.

Evan: Here we go! Oh nevermind, that’s a maze you drew. Yeah you drew a maze, then couldn’t solve it. You went straight for the wall

Barty: it was a hard maze

Pandora: this one is just a list of words that rhyme with “moon”. But then right away it’s “bun.” “Moon, spoon, loon… bun”? The heck is this?

Barty: there was no other words that rhymes with “moon”

Evan: “tune”?

Barty: that’s what I’m saying, I don’t have a.. I’ve got nothing!

Luna: you’re mr diarrhoea head

Barty: please don’t say that to me right now. I’m going through a thing right now so please don’t say that to me, I’m asking you, please don’t call me that

Luna: okay mr diarrhoea head

#incorrect quotes #marauders #marauders era #muggle au #the marauders era #the marauders #Barty crouch jr #tattoo artist Barty #Evan rosier #Pandora Lovegood #Luna Lovegood #baby Luna #new girl #new girl quotes

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littleblackraincloudofcourse · 7 months

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Colin (talking about Pen): What? Relax I said we were gonna give each other space that doesn't mean I can't see if anything funny happened on the trip

Benedict: You know what space means right? Space to have sex with other people

Colin: No space means you go to Ireland and do not have sex with other people

Benedict: Watch this. Anthony, don't give me any space

Anthony: You got it (leaning against Ben)

Benedict (to Colin): See, this makes it pretty hard for you and I to have sex right now, doesn't it?

Benedict:Now, Anthony I want you to give me some space

Anthony: You got it (steps away)

Benedict (to Colin): All this space allows me opportunity to have as much sex as we want. See how much sex we could be having

Colin:That . . That's not 😳 GET OUT OF MY WAY (running to find Penelope)

#incorrect bridgerton quotes #colin bridgerton #benedict bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #new girl quotes

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cheeryknots · 1 year

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*Sirius pinning James to the ground after tackling him when he caught him with Regulus*

Sirius: Do you have anything to say for yourself?

James: Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again?

James: …

James: Probably.

#incorrect marauders quotes #new girl quotes #james and sirius #jegulus #james potter #regulus black #sirius being a little shit

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griffle-musings · 2 months

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Dick Grayson: Do you know how I broke up with Babs so I could start dating Kori again?

Wally West: Absolutely, that was really hard for you.

Dick: Yeah. That actually never happened.

Wally : What do you mean?

Dick: I'm still dating Babs.

Wally: ...What do you mean?

Dick: I'm dating both of them and neither one of them knows it and I feel terrible about it.

Wally: But Barbara is gone.

Dick : She's...

Wally: What do you mean?

Dick: She's not gone.

Wally: So you broke up with Kori.

Dick: I didn't break up with either one of them.

Wally:

Wally: What do you mean?

Dick: You process this however you need to process this. If you want me to keep talking-

Wally: Which one are you dating?

Dick: Both.

Wally: Are you dating Kori?

Dick: I'm dating Kori.

Wally: Are you dating Barbara?

Dick: Yes.

Wally: How do you do that?

Dick: They made me choose.

Wally: You have to choose! You can't have both women!

Dick: What was I supposed to do?

Wally: You think you can have a bunch of wives?!

Dick:

Wally: You get one wife! This is the way the world works!

Dick: Why?!

Wally: I don't know.

#incorrect batman quotes #dickbabs AND dickkory #i feel like people forgot that it was canon that dick cheated on kori when they were engaged...#so this quote actually isn't too ooc #wally west #dick grayson #new girl quotes #i mean one's mentor was barry “wife guy” allen #and the other was bruce “playboy diaster” wayne #so... yeah

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ravenclawella · 1 year

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#Sebastian Sallow #New girl quotes #incorrect hogwarts legacy quotes #jessica day #my heart #lets go make some mistakes #Time to start making some memes #hehehehe

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thisbisexualbrainrot · 9 months

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Crowley: You just walk around all day thinking about other people's feelings?

Azi: Yeah! Don't you?

Crowley: No! How do you get anything done?

Azi: It's hard.

#good omens #good omens2 #good ineffable omens #ineffable spouses #ineffable fandom #ineffable idiots #incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes new girl #new girl quotes #crowley x arizaphale #crowley aziraphale

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rumpledsmalltownpi · 6 months

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Nothing's happening, because I was never told it was happening. If a happening happens and you don't know that it happened, did it happen, you know?

#new girl #jessica day #first date #new girl quotes #thoughts to ponder

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nighttimedawn · 2 years

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Maverick: Okay, you want the truth? I’ll tell you the everything. When I was thirteen years old, I once made love to myself behind a post office.

Ice: what?

Maverick: When I was nine years old, I fed cereal flakes to a frog and it died. Then I went into a period of time where I fed cereal flakes to all little animals. Squirrels can love through it. Chipmunks can live through it. *tearing up* Anything that lives half in and out of water dies and I don’t understand why.

Maverick: When I was ten, I once walked by my mother sleeping and I snuck in the room and put a lemon in her mouth. When I was eleven, I once tried on my girl cousin’s wool tights and I didn’t hate the way it felt.

Ice: Why are you telling me this???

Maverick: Because you said you wanted to hear everything!

Maverick: My sixteenth year I never got an erection. I thought they were done. I thought my penis was dead.

Ice: …

Maverick: it wasn’t

#new girl quotes #icemav #top gun #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #top gun 1986 #text posts

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kermit-the-hag · 2 years

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Steve: So, last night's poker game. Got pretty intense.

Eddie: I don't even know what you're talking about ... I was so hammered last night.

[Flashback to the Spicy Six playing poker]