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#mentions: tim
incorrectbatfam · 2 months
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Bruce is constantly asking the kids what they like to eat so he can freeze dry their favorites into oblivion as apocalypse rations
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nyerusnova · 8 months
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yeah... things are pretty yikes right now in the current batfam storyline,
but at least Tim is rocking those thigh-high boots and I just wanted to appreciate that for a sec
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violent138 · 2 months
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Damian: "Red Hood has a pretty severe concussion. What do I do?"
Tim: "Extraction's still ten minutes out, just keep him talking."
Damian, urgently pressing the comm: "I don't want to talk to him, he's even more insufferable than usual."
Jason, lying on the ground, eyes closed: "That's funny Junior, because head trauma's the only thing that makes you bearable."
Damian, to Tim: "I'm leaving. It won't be the first time we've had a closed casket."
Tim, groaning disgustedly: "Robin--ugh, seriously, just stay there and keep him awake."
Damian, seething even more when he sees Jason's smirk: "Fine."
Jason, cracking open one eye: "Aww, are you concerned about me?"
Damian: "Shut up. The only thing I'm concerned about is our family's reputation after your public wipeout on that stupid motorcycle."
Jason:
Damian: "Are you still awake?" *kicks him* "Todd?"
Jason, grinning: "You said our family."
Damian, furious: "I didn't. You've lost more brain cells than you could afford."
Jason: "Wait 'till Tim hears, I think he'll want a group hug. Bruce is probably going to get emotionally constipated. Dickie would probably cry--"
Damian, panicking as he hears the Batmobile get closer: "Stop. Do not tell him--"
Jason: "You better erase every single fucking video of me crashing then."
Damian: "You have a deal."
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deansxharley · 1 month
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listen, i have no idea what’s currently canon in dc comics and i really don’t care to BUT regardless of what continuity we’re in, i think jason todd might be the funniest character of all time. just the biggest hypocrite ever and i’m obsessed. like, so many people have pointed out how crazy it is to be pissed off at tim for replacing him as robin when he literally replaced dick while dick was still alive, but then to go and parade around bludhaven as a murderous nightwing while dick is (again) very much still alive and THEN form a team with dick’s ex girlfriend and best friend??? jason todd is THE definition of “replacement” or what the fuck ever he calls tim and i actually find it so funny. stay crazy girl <3
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coffeebrownn · 4 months
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ghostiiest · 11 months
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my favorite brothers ever
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sharksandjays · 23 days
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tim and yj shenanigans
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moredancesmyraptheart · 4 months
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alice jokingly saying to sam “you’ve made a powerful enemy tonight” feels like a line that will one day hurt on relisten ngl
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lovelylonelymoonlight · 7 months
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I think we need to make dick a lil more unhinged like
Tim says bye to kon perfectly straight faced and devoid of emotion and Dick starts teasing him about his obvious crush
And then another titan is like, huh??
“his heart beat picked up by two additional beats cmon now”
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daiwild · 1 year
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changing room mishap
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Kons a lil confused but he will ALWAYS get pissed at bad guys hurting his friends
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mcuxhp777 · 12 days
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Part Five; they're teenagers, don't freak out
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incorrectbatfam · 24 days
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Has Bruce ever packed the kids lunch when Alfred wasn't there? How'd it go?
[Wayne Enterprises]
Tim: Finally, time for my break.
Tim: *opens his mini fridge*
*dozens of apples fall out*
———————
[the library]
Steph: *chugs a gallon of milk*
Cass: *bites into a bread loaf*
Barbara: I'm not even gonna ask.
———————
[day patrol]
Duke: *opens his lunchbox*
Duke: *sighs*
Duke: *pulls out his bat-skillet*
Duke: *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg—*
———————
[West-Reeve Middle School]
Damian: Kent, I will trade you your cupcake for this head of lettuce.
Jon: ...
Jon: Deal.
———————
[Bludhaven]
Jason: Bruce packed our lunches. He said we're supposed to share.
Jason: *hands him a bag*
Dick: What'd you get?
Jason: A frozen turkey. You?
Dick: *opens it*
*fire alarm goes off*
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sudokuishere · 7 months
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Is that... is that tims boat house??? Did tim let damian crash with him at his murder shack?
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Like? It's this room from his murder shack
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That's so cute I'm dying 😭
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Duke: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, malewife our way out of it this time. (It a non vigilante problem)
Damian and Jason: Manslaughter
Dick: manwhore
Everyone: 👀👀👀
Dick: manslaughter it is
Tim: its time to girl boss *calls Cass, Babs, and Steph*
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nerdpoe · 1 month
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Young Justice is always a little...concerned. With Phantom's living situation. Now they're outright afraid for him, and Bart has decided it's time to Ask An Adult.
It was the little quips. The tiny little things. Stuff that didn't seem to matter to Phantom at all, or appeared to be normal for him, that he didn't realize weren't normal at all.
"Oh, better not hope my mom catches me." "Doing what, staying out past bedtime?" "Nah, using my powers; she'd vivisect me!"
"Another stab wound. Great." "Don't worry Phantom, I've got the med kit-" "Oh, I'm not a baby or anything, I can handle it just fine. Just gimme a sec to take it out."
"My dad has better aim than that." "...Like, when he's hunting, right?" "...At what other times would he be shooting at me?"
"Huh. Not as bad as my parents place. Look; they have a decontamination shower!" "Phantom, this lab has been vandalized to the point of needing a hazmat suit." "Did I stutter?"
Finding out each others identities did nothing to soothe the worry. Tim quietly told the others that every time he tried to run facial recognition, he kept hitting a government firewall he couldn't breach. Phantom never told them his last name, just his first, and 'Danny' is super common.
The thing that really did it though, the thing that made Bart snap and run off to ask Max, was when Danny had a nightmare.
He was talking in his sleep.
"No. Don't-stop. Stoooop. I need...my skin. Mom, no. You can't...peel off...my skin..."
Bart didn't even wait for them to wake Danny up before he was standing in front of Max, talking a mile a minute as he tried to figure out what to do, with Wally staring in horror over a plate of waffles as he computed everything that Bart was saying.
~~~~~~
Danny had a dream about his mom and Skulker arguing about how to skin him. He wouldn't really call it a nightmare, because it was just Skulker, but the scariest thing was Skulker insisting to his mom that it was possible to skin him with a potato peeler. Dream mom was arguing that it was not, and that from a scientific standpoint that was a really piss poor way to preserve a specimen.
He hadn't been begging them to stop hurting him, he'd been whining at them to knock it off.
But when he wakes up, it's to a room full of worried friends and an old man who calls himself Max.
"Kid, I think we need to talk."
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fragcc · 1 year
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Awkward flying past your sibling at 7 o'clock
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