Breathe Again

Summary: Camilo spends his first 15 years waiting to meet the love of his life.

.

At age 15, Camilo knew that he was waiting for someone. As early as he could remember, he was always waiting for someone. And just not anyone.

The love of his life.

His twin brother called him crazy.

But what does Carlos know?

Every waking moment of Camilo’s life, he was living but never felt...alive. Like he was missing a part of him. And he struggled with it for a long time because he knew, he just knew that that person was looking for him too. His only problem was that he didn’t know who that person was. What they looked like, what they sounded like, if they were tall or short, bulky or skinny, boy or girl.

All he had going for him was a feeling of constant suffocation. Like he’s spent a whole ‘nother lifetime from ages ago, pining for this person. Always together but growing farther apart. Sometimes, when he dreams, he’ll get fragments of a candle, a village, and a family he’s never seen before.

And a laugh.

A laughter he longs to hear now.

So as Camilo chuckles with his friends as they roam the school hallways, talking about the new student in their school today, joking and horsing around, he still feels like he’s not able to breathe. This has always been his problem.

This was suffering.

Then he spots the back of a girl he’s never seen before. Her short, dark hair is pulled back by a butterfly clip. She’s talking with their principal, Señor Agustín, very animatedly at that. The poor man looks at her, complexed, before spotting Camilo.

‘Shit.’ He thinks, ready to turn around.

“Camilo! There! Come here, please?” Asks the man in his suit. “Ooh’s” and “aah’s” get passed around the group of students before Camilo shoves off his best friend. He gives Camilo his best puppy look.

“Shut up, cabrón.” He hisses before putting on his best, polite smile. “Coming  Señor Agustín!” Running over, the lanky boy stands next to the girl but doesn’t bother to look at her. “How can I help you?”

“This is out new student, Mirabel. She’s come from afar and needs help adjusting. Can you show her around?” Before he can even get a chance to deny his request, the principal is turning around and quickly walking away. The teen sighs deeply.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” He murmurs under his breath.

“I know, right? That man seems way too clumsy to be a principal.” Says a girlish, overly cheerful voice. Looking at the chica next to him, he’s greeted by large, cocoa eyes (they’re so pretty) behind forest green frames, mocha skin (which looks so soft), and a smile that seems brighter than the sun (so familiar). It’s almost magical, the upward pull on her lips.

Camilo blinks.

Mirabel sticks a hand out for him to shake. “Hola, me llama Mirabel.” She laughs and the boy sucks in a sharp breath, his heart thumping. That’s it.

That’s the laughs he love.

Dumbly, he holds her hand and doesn’t let go. Raising a thick brow, Mirabel just continues to smile, tilting her head. “I’m sorry, this seems strange. Have we...met before?” She inquires, holding Camilo’s hand just a little tighter.

He can feel the tears burn in the back of his eyes because Dios, she’s it. She’s the one. The person he’s been waiting for. The love of his life. And for the first time in 15 years, Camilo feels like he can breathe.

Like he’s finally alive.

𝐀 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 | 𝐀.𝐓

𝐈𝐈. 𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬

Pairing ➺  Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Targ/Vela/Strong!Reader

Warning ➺ Hint of smut! Some Targ!Incest hinted/implied. Use of High Valyrian. Mean Aemond as usual ig lol. Italics are flashbacks

Word Count ➺ 2.6K

Summary ➺ Her mother was known to be “The Realms Delight”. Soon Rhaeneyra’s daughter would earn that title as well, leaving many suitors waiting in line an a particular uncle waiting as well.

A/N ➺ GAH GUYS! THANK YOU! I hope you all enjoy part two, I may fix it up later. Just uploading this yet again whilst in class because I seem to have more ideas when in class? Enjoy! I ALSO DON’T OWN HIGH VALYRIAN, though I’m learning it on duolingo :D

✿ 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 ✿ - @loveyathreethousand @killerqueen-gunpowdergelatine @spideyyypeter @lou-la-lou@babebenhardy @rivervixenbaby @acklesholland @zabdisamor @keepingupwiththehollands @sweet666pea @sspider-parker @jackiehollanderr @caro0512 @thewinchesterchronicles @cporter003 @kisses-holland @spideysnugget @cryszus @sunflowerharrystyles @peterunderoos @ohbabycal @laucontrerasv @spider-mendes @jessybellsworld @quaksonhehe @dummiesshort @multitargaryen @mingiholic​ @loutino94​​

𝐀 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ➺ @dudfahsn  @hhjhbhh  @firecantkillthedragon

@its-sam-allgood  @sahanna @imjustboredso  @lovecleastrange @mouseymagines @out-of-life  @caspianobsessed @bilesxbilinskixlahey​ @yunonaneko​ ​

☞  Masterlist  ☜

The sound of waves crashing against the shore allowed her to relax, her body less tense than it had been after the past few weeks. It was nice to be back on Dragonstone with her family, catching up with her mother who was due with her fifth child any day now. After your father’s death, she had married her uncle Daemon, who was now your step-father but was first your great-uncle?

Targaryen customs at its finest.

She watched as Tessarion soared through the sky. It had been almost a week since you arrived back on Dragonstone, though you didn’t want to leave the keep it felt necessary to be away. 

(Y/N) had adjusted her daily task to be done earlier, trying her best to avoid her begrudged uncle. If she wanted books from the library she’d ask her lady in waiting to find it for her not wanting to risk stepping foot alone into there. At dinner she could feel his gaze, a smug look painted his face, he knew that she was on the edge. 

He took notice of how she had changed her schedule around, truly he didn’t think she would avoid him at all cost. “May I be excused? I have quite an eventful day tomorrow.” waiting for her grandsire and the queen to give her a nod, excusing herself from the dining hall. Aemond waited a few minutes before excusing himself as well, he quickly made his way to her chambers using the secret passage ways that his great-great-great uncle Maegor had built. 

“It’s quite alright Mera, please get some rest.” She stood outside her chamber doors talking to one of her ladies in waiting, Aemond took a seat on one of the chairs facing the fireplace awaiting for his niece to enter. 

She opened and closed her door quickly, all she wanted was for sleep to consume her. It was foolish really to feel so on the edge, she felt as though maybe she was overthinking the situation. He could hear her moving around the room, still unaware of the current company she had.

“You’ve been avoiding me dear niece.” 

(Y/N) yelped in surprise loud enough to reach the ears of her knight guarding her door. 

“Princess? Are you alright?”

Aemond stood from the chair raising his brow slightly awaiting for her to answer the guard. She knew that if his mother found out he was in her chambers she’d call you a whore and accuse you of wanting to tarnish her son's name.

“It’s alright Ser Erryk, just a bird.” Aemond hummed in satisfaction, striding forwards towards the princess. (Y/N) breathing grew heavy, her heart began to beat against her chest waiting to jump out at any moment. “What are you doing here Aemond?” it came out as a weak question, she could barely recognize her own voice,

He stopped a few feet away from her, wrapping his arms behind his back taking in her figure. “Ao didn’t udligon ñuha másino.” (You didn’t answer my question.)

Your mother had you learn High Valyrian when you were young, her reason was because it was necessary to learn your native tongue. But you later realized it’s because the walls within the Keep and all of Westeros have ears. 

And because not everyone can speak High Valyrian.

The two of you had communicated this way since you were young, when you actually got along. At the time you two weren’t the greatest at speaking it tumbling over your words, but now it was music to your ears.

It made you feel special.

(Y/N) scoffed lightly, if someone threatened to take your eye wouldn't you want to avoid them at all cost? It was a silly question really that answered for itself.

“Ao threatened naejot gūrogon ñuha laes.” (You threatened to take my eye.)

“Yn nyke didn’t, gōntan nyke daor?” (But I didn’t, did I not?)

The crackling flames filled the silence that engulfed the room, it was strange. Strange to see him in her chambers, the way he just towered over you as though he held some sort of power. But now was her chance to push him though as he did her. The one thing she noticed about Aemond was how arrogant he became, or maybe it was confidence, the two seemed to bleed into one when it came to him.

She glared at him, how could he come in here as though that never happened? “Nyke ivestretan ao naejot gūrogon ziry.  Iā sia ao tolī olvie hen iā coward naejot follow rȳ? (I told you to take it. Or were you too much of a coward to follow through?)

Aemond stepped forward watching as she stepped back till she was against the wall, he wrapped his hand around her throat squeezing lightly. (Y/N) never knew why she never tried to fight back when it came to Aemond, if Aegon had his hand around her throat she would be quick to push him off and give him a taste of his own medicine.

Yet when it came to Aemond. 

She always froze.

“Nyke mērī spared ao, skoro syt should nyke wrongfully gūrogon skoros shouldn’t sagon taken? unless ao drējī jaelagon naejot sagon keskydoso, sepār ivestragon se udir.” (I only spared you, why should I wrongfully take what shouldn’t be taken? Unless you truly want to be the same, just say the word.)

There it was, the same flames that danced just a few days ago. Conflicted on what to do, fighting against one another. She felt like a lamb ready to be slaughtered by Tessarion, just a word away from being set aflame and eaten in one bite. 

““Don’t jaelā naejot gīmigon skoro syt nyke didn’t gūrogon ziry? i’m sure bona másino iksis rattling bona pretty bartos hen aōhon?” (Don’t you want to know why I didn’t take it? I’m sure that question is rattling that pretty head of yours.)

He squeezed the side of her throat unsatisfied that she hadn’t answered him. Just enough to scare her, but not enough to have her passing out. She did wonder why he didn’t take it, the opportunity was right there.

 If she were Aemond she would’ve taken it.

“Kepus, kostilus.” (Uncle, please.)

There it was again. that weird feeling, Aemond couldn’t tell what it was. Because it sure wasn’t sadness or guilt. 

 The sound of swords clashing pulled her from the memory, turning her head to the side to see Jace and Luke sparring with one another. Tessarion screeched directing (Y//N) attention away from her brothers. Arrax and Syrax had joined her in the sky flying past one another. 

“Must you two train here?”

She did miss her brothers deeply and rarely did they send ravens to one another, but just as most siblings are; they knew how to annoy her.

“You’re awake!” Jace commented as he struck down Luke, your younger brother groaned as he fell to the sand, his wooden sword landing next to him.

“I was not sleeping and haven’t I told you to be kind to Luke?” she hated how rough Jace could be when they trained, she understood he just wanted to prove himself to their mother and well to the people of Westeros. But, sometimes it blinded him into being too aggressive. 

Walking over to her younger brother she helped him up brushing off the sand that stuck to his clothes, “You sound like mother.” Jace mumbled causing her to send him a glare. Times like this she understood why people compared her to her mother. 

“It’s great to have you back (Y/N/N).” Luke said with a smile, raising her free hand she ruffled his brown locks. It did feel great to be back and to be with her siblings, the next time she would’ve seen them was for her 18th name day celebration.

Jace poked his wooden sword at his older sister, “Why is it that you came by again? You didn’t send raven to announce your arrival.”

She could see the flames growing behind his eye,“Kostilus” she mewled tapping on his wrist in hopes he would answer her plea. 

Swallowing harshly he released his hand from her throat taking a step back from her, as her hand shot up to her throat soothing the area. He looked down at his feet for a second before setting his gaze back onto her, turning on his heels to exit her chambers.

“Princess?” 

Ser Erryk stood by the door, his hand resting on his sword, “It’s alright Ser Erryk, the Prince was just talking about taking our dragons for a flight together.”  He gave her a small nod slowly closing her chamber door. 

“Ser Erryk.” 

He paused for a second, “Yes Princess?”

“Please don’t bring this to the King and Queen’s attention. I don’t want the Queen to think otherwise.” 

Staring up at the ceiling she brought her right hand to her throat allowing her finger tips to trace where Aemond’s hand was. It was wrong, it was wrong at the thought of how it excited her. The way his eye darkened as he stared down at her, how he slowly applied pressure to her throat just enough to let her know she was under his control.

It was truly a sin.

“Aemond.” 

He hummed in response, his hands roamed her body, his lips left soft kisses on her neck making his way to her lips. 

“Skoros iksis ziry bona ao jorrāelagon dōna riña?” (What is it that you need sweet girl?)  she gulped nervously. Leaning forward she tried to capture his lips but he leaned back tutting at her sudden action. 

“I asked you a question.” 

(Y/N) didn’t want to admit it, she didn’t. She didn’t want to give in, but he looked so beautiful. Her body felt hot with need, lust coursing through her veins. 

“Ao, nyke jorrāelagon ao kepus Aemond.” (You, I need you Uncle Aemond.)

He placed a soft kiss onto her lips, she kissed back in need desperate for his touch. He pulled her closer till they were flushed against one another. It was as though he set her body aflame, and she didn’t care if he burned her. Aemond lifted her off the ground before placing her onto the bed.

“Pār ao kessa emagon nyke.” (Then you shall have me.)

(Y/N) gasped loudly, her eyes scanned the room frantically in search of her Uncle. Her nightgown stuck to her body a thin layer of sweat visible on her skin, heart racing as she tried to catch her breath.

It was just a dream.

The next few nights were pure torture. She had dreams of him, sinful dreams. Dreams no maiden at her age should be dreaming, dreams no niece should have on their uncle. The way he had her at his mercy, on her knees as he praised her for her beauty. The way she would have him at his knees, his beautiful sapphire glimmering under the moonlight that kissed her room. 

Knocking softly upon the door she awaited an answer, “Come in.” pushing the door open to her grandsire’s chamber. 

(Y/N) curtsied upon entry, “Your Grace.” Viserys waved his hand “Dear child, haven’t I told you there’s no need for any formalities.” she chuckled lightly, though he was her grandfather, he was her king before that. Her grandfather sat on a chair near his small sculpture of Old Valyria. 

“What brings you here today?”

“Grandsire, may I go back to Dragonstone for a bit?”

He placed one of the mini sculptures back down, “It’s nearing your name day celebration.” She knew he would protest, but he would not tell her no. (Y/N) was his first grandchild and when he sees you he sees Rhaenyra. But not only does he see his daughter, he also sees his late wife Aemma. 

“I just miss them dearly and can’t wait till they’re here for my name day celebration. I’ll be back in time before my celebration. Please grandsire?” He didn’t want to let her go, but he did care for her happiness. He understood that sending ravens to communicate isn’t the same as seeing them in person with her own eyes. 

Little did he know she actually wanted time away from the Prince.

“Are you trying to get rid of me already?” 

Jace rolled his eyes playfully, “No.” (Y/N) sighed lightly “I missed mother, and my brothers of course. Plus she is pregnant yet again, so I wanted to be here for the babe’s birth.” This was entirely true, she just decided to leave out the fact of what their uncle had done. 

Back in Westeros, Aemond grew suspicious of your whereabouts. He didn’t see you training early in the morning nor did he see Tessarion flying in the sky. Wandering about the castle in hopes to run into you. He had gotten up early that morning, he had a rough night's rest. Unable to shake the image out of his head, unable to stop dreaming the same dream the past nights.

“Kepus, kostilus, gūrogon nyke” (Uncle please, take me.)

(Y/N) brought his free hand under her nightgown, dragging it up her thigh till her cupped her cunt, it was wet and warm with need. Asking for him to taste her, to have her. “Ziry iksos sepār syt ao” (It’s just for you.) she moaned, urging him to take action. 

He blinked a few times, unsure if this was actually happening or not, “Kostilius.” she begged trailing kisses upon his pale skin bitting his skin slightly causing him to hiss.

“My prince?”

“Kostilius.”

“My prince?”

Aemond blinked a few times, Ser Criston gave him a worried look unsure of why the Prince was acting so strange. “Let’s call it a day.” he nodded, looking around the courtyard to see if the Princess was around. It was as though her scent lingered on him, taunting him for dreaming of her.

He needed to get (Y/N) out of his head.

When it was time for supper, he noticed she hadn’t taken her usual seat to the right of his father. Halaena seemed a bit puzzled as she fixed her gaze on the empty seat,  “Mother, do you know where (Y/N) is? I promised Jaehaerys and Jaehaera she would take them flying.” his ears perked up at the sound of her name keeping his eyes focused on his plate right in front of him.

“Oh dear, she went to visit her family at Dragonstone.”

For how long?

Aegon snickered as he re-filled his cup, Aemond was unaware his thought was spoken out loud hence why his older brother smirked at him. Alicent swallowed her food, placing her fork and knife back onto the table, “She’ll be back before her name day celebration-”

“Why are you wondering about our niece's whereabouts brother?” Aemond intervened, causing his mother to glare at him for being so rude, the wine was surely working into his system as usual.

Aemond hummed in response, “She just wanted to train tis all.” he mumbled taking a swing of the wine that was already poured into his cup. He didn’t even realize she left, he just thought she fell ill with a fever, or just decided to stay locked up in her chambers. 

He laid in bed tossing and turning letting out a small huff, he closed his eye yet again in hopes sleep will consume him. But every time he closed his eye, he saw his niece. He saw her on her knees begging for him to take her, begging for him, her uncle to take her maidenhood. There it was again, that feeling. 

That same feeling it felt when he snuck into her chambers. That feeling of want and need, something no one should feel for their own blood. 

It was lust.

Sleeping with the Shooter: A Crosshair X M!Reader

Crosshair X M!Reader (platonic/brotherly) Word Count: 1,489

Tags: fluff, comfort, platonic, intended to be brotherly (NOT INCEST)

Summary: It's been a while since The Bad Batch have been able to take a rest from missions on their home world of Kamino. But reader can't help but notice that things are changing, especially within the world of Clones. He seeks comfort in his brother Crosshair on the long journey home through hyperspace.

A/N: this is a self-indulgent one-shot I wrote for myself but I thought that maybe some others in the fandom could use the comfort from the ending of The Bad Batch. Enjoy!

Another long mission, another long flight back to Kamino, another sleepless night in the cock-pit of the Marauder. I was sitting in the cockpit, my legs up on the dashboard watching the light from the stars flash by us as we jumped through hyperspace. It was calming, serene, a gentle break from all the blaster fire, destruction and pressure of our missions. I was born to be a soldier, but this life was starting to feel less and less like mine. I’m starting to notice our disposability, it urks me, but there is nothing I can do about it, which bothers me even more.

As I continue to stare into hyperspace I feel a disturbance beside me. A creak confirmed my suspicion as the seat to my left now had the body of one of my brothers slumped into it.

“Tech’s not going to appreciate you having your boots on the dash.”

I shrug, “What he doesn’t know won’t kill him”

“Do you ever actually sleep?” Crosshair’s deep voice rattled out again.

“Do you?” I retort without looking at him.

He huffs continuing on whatever conversational path he had planned out in his mind.

“Your thinking too much again, aren’t you” It’s not a question, it’s a statement. Blunt and plain.

But not without a hint of concern, something our brothers often miss when talking to Crosshair, I can hear it, the underlying emotions in his speech that our brothers cannot.

“How can I not-“ I respond “- its in my code, my programming” I knock on my head, a dull thud sounding back.

I sigh and continue to watch the stars as they whizz past us, focusing on one flash of light until it's gone and then focusing on the next, I can feel my eyes flitting around in their sockets. He sighs as well and I see him, in my peripherals, lean forward, elbows on his knees, chin resting on the fingers of his curled-over shooting hand.

“What is it this time?”

“Us” I say darkly

“Us?”

“Us, our purpose, our reasoning, our next mission for the republic, us” I elaborate numbly.

He’s heard this all before and every time he tries to convince me that the Republic will always have a purpose for us, they made us, and they need us. The same old bullshit. He never sees how they treat our brothers. We come and go too quickly and our names just become numbers in a data bank, dust that litters the battlefields of the galaxy.

Crosshair maintains the silence without giving me one of his usually patriotic responses. I listen to his breaths, the nasally sound as his lungs push the filtered air of the ship in and out. As I’m watching the stars go by I don’t notice that Crosshair has stood up and walked over to my seat, I am too lost, in space and in my own mind. I nearly jump out of my seat when he puts a hand on my shoulder. Out of reflex I immediately turn and grab his wrist forcing it back.

“Shit” he cries and I let go of his wrist instantly

“Damnit it Crosshair…sorry” I mutter

“No, that one was my fault”

I inhale sharply and close my eyes for a moment, hugging my arms to myself before blinking them back open. Crosshair is still standing there, though noticeably a pace or so back from my chair. He looks at the ground thinking a moment before he looks at me and nods his head in the direction of our shared room. If you could even call it that.

I was the second biggest compartment of the ship aside from Storage, it was deck out with standard issue barrack bunks, with a few personal touches of course. Wrecker and Tech on one set, Wrecker's bunk is always decorated with Lula sitting in the corner by his head and Tech, as usual, has fallen asleep with his data pad hanging loosely from his fingers. The next is Hunter and Crosshair’s bunk, Hunter’s bandana hangs on the edge of his bed and Crosshair's bunk is empty, though I know he keeps a chest under his bed with some nicknacks from missions and planets we have visited, but I never bring it up. And lastly, Echo and I, Echo’s bed is also empty and mine is covered in a few bits of graffiti here and there.

My bunk is on the bottom which is why I assume that Crosshair is gesturing towards my bunk instead of his own. He climbs into my bunk and gestures for me to follow. The notion takes me aback slightly, none of us have had to share a bunk since we were younglings, not out of necessity or choice. We used to do it when we were still developing in the Kaminoan facility, making sure to stay close to one another. Minus Echo of course, we weren’t joined by him until much later. But Crosshair had always been off put by the idea of sharing sleeping quarters when there was an option to sleep apart, even when we were kids, so this gesture was not something that was normal for him to so willingly offer.

However it would seem that Crosshair could see what kind of struggle I was facing in my head, my programming though good for tactical advantages and strategy is not ideal for anything else. Maybe my state had become more noticeable as of late. I would need to make sure to rein that in as to not screw up future mission.

I climb in beside him in my bunk and he shuffles over so that his arm is bent underneath me. I rest my head on his chest and once I’m settled he curls his arm over my shoulder and cups the back of my head, placing his gloveless fingers into the mess that is my hair. The softness of the touch from his hand takes me by surprise, it was unlike him to be so gentle. He was swift, aggressive and tactical, it was his design. But his nature was not his design, he could be gentle, and he was very calm at times when he chose to be. I know this, and yet still the gesture does not fit with the image I have of my brother.

My head rests on his torso, right where the red marking that we all share on our breastplates would be. His heart thrumming a steady rhythm under his ribs, I follow the sound in my head, counting the time between each beat thump bump thump bump thump bump. The sound of it and the gentle but sturdy feeling of his torso underneath my chest had made me feel safer than I ever had. All I had known was War but this…this made me feel like I could have faith in the hope of life after war, maybe one where me and my brothers have freedom and true autonomy.

I divert my attention to his hand in my hair and focus on the bend of his fingers that are cupped around my head. The smoothness of his palm. Maybe tonight won’t be a sleepless night after all. I know how the brain responds to stimuli that are connected to memories and feelings of being safe, but I know all of that in theory. Not in practice.

Following this train of thought my mind wanders and I get lost, staring into the wall above Wrecker's head on the other side of the compartment. Briefly I wonder if Crosshair needs this as much as I do, and he’s using me as an excuse and guise to get this attention he needs, whatever the case I am happy to give it, not only for myself but for him. I know what Crosshair is like, he never takes care of himself, he takes better care of his rifle than he does his own mind and body.

I am pulled out of these thoughts, my eyes suddenly refocusing as his other hand comes into view of my face. I think that maybe he is just moving in his sleep and waiting for him to settle down again, but he isn’t moving like he’s asleep, his hand is moving lightly towards my face, almost as if cautious. He is still awake. His hand finally come to rest on my cheek, the barest contact between my face and his hand, but he holds it nonetheless and whispers something

“You’re a good kid” I bite my lip at his statement, and my eyes begin to sting. What the hell am I crying for?

‘It’s the stimuli to positive attention after an absence of it’ I remind myself.

I breathe deeply and absently I nuzzle into his hand and hum contentedly. And with that, at least for tonight, I am at peace and drift off to sleep.

I take requests if you like what you see then send in something per my guidelines

Hello! If it's not too much of a hassle.

May I please request, Alexandra?

Scenario: Reader (AMAB) is poor and forced to marry Alexandra. But unfortunately for Alexandra, Darling is more interested in their daughter than in her (not incest btw!!) As the years go by.

Lmao I can see it happening X'D

TW/Tags: Somewhat fluff, somewhat goofy, somewhat weird? // mentions of past bullying // silly goofs sort of headcanon // questionable marriage/relationship with Alexandra // People ignoring the victim's side of the story // Reader has a lot of conflicted feelings about his situation // low-key happy ending unlocked?

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Oh no, please don't spoil this child, her mother is already very spoiled, sir. [Yandere!Bully!OC x Male!Reader - Headcanons]:

→ Alexandra Coldwell:

I don't think much would happen to be honest, although it is interesting that you got in this situation in the first place. Being forced to marry your rich bully sounds like an absolute nightmare, and it could be considering it's Alexandra we're talking about!

Ah, but who isn't to say that this was all a carefully laid out plan to get you to be with her anyway? I mean it doesn't sound so ridiculous if you think about it.

I don't think she would've been able to orchestrate EVERYTHING, but imagine this- You two met in high school and she hasn't stop being a menace to you even during college, but since your family was always in a tight situation financially she knew how to play her cards right to convince your parents that she was your "high school sweetheart", and that she was the perfect choice for you!

She is a beautiful model after all, she comes from old money- And she has that added benefit of having been in your life for a while now (for the better or for worse… mostly worse). How could your parents NOT fall for her charm??

Which by the way, they never understand why you never showed her to them before, it doesn't matter if you told them the truth before or not, right now they were absolutely sold on her as the perfect candidate for you.

There was an awkward dating phase at first, she would treat you a lot better than she did in her high school years but you still couldn't help but see her as a bit of a menace to your otherwise calm life.

It took you a while to notice why she would treat you the way she did, how she didn't actually mean it… Of course you weren't one to easily forgive and forget, but you did give her a chance to improve herself, despite the odds being against you, you stood your ground and never gave her the chance to put you down again.

The dating part felt a little rushed in your opinion, but nothing could be done about it considering your marriage was planned a lot earlier than you ever could have expected- And I'm not talking about your parents who really needed you to get that financial security, I'm talking about Alexandra.

Your new wife was still creepy… Not scary and overly domineering as you expected her to be in private but still somewhat creepy.

And somehow you grew to accept that! It seemed to get better with each passing year, or maybe you just didn't really care about her obsessive weirdness towards you… Sometimes, it was a bit endearing!

Or maybe you're crazy too, who knows!

Ah, but your daughter, a sweet little girl that thanks to some miracle was not as bratty as her mother! A bit of a daddy's girl, and just a tiny hint of a troublemaker- But that's basically any child.

I would beg you to not spoil her too much as You Know Who is her mother, but I assume you would still do it anyway, wouldn't you?

Your relationship with Alexandra was always a bit odd, and hard to explain. You weren't unhappy, not at all! You had a really good life now, and it wasn't just because of the money.

You've built a really nice family with Alex, even if it's just you three… But sometimes you're not sure if you really love Alexandra all that much…

Well, you grew to like her! But sometimes you feel like you shouldn't so easily forget her past interactions with you, and even though it might seem perfect to be next to someone like her (rich and beautiful), you're very much aware of the ways she could easily ruin someone's life if they got too close to you. The person who slept next to you every night was also the one who would lock you in empty school lockers, and is the same person who would also use her money to ruin someone else's life for even looking at you wrong…

And it's also the same person who smiles everyday as if everyday was sunny to her, who is a good mother overall and great wife despite her unhealthy tendencies, who is always apologizing late at night about her past mistakes even if you didn't bring it up yourself.

You clearly loved your daughter a lot, and after having the displeasure of meeting your mother-in-law you REALLY didn't want your daughter to end up like them (I named her Yasmin but it can be whatever you want-).

It's not just that you really love your daughter with all your heart- She is the reason you feel glad that this marriage happened in the first place- But you're also worried that if you are not around, Yasmin will turn into her mother or worse yet, her grandma, ugh.

You were thankful that she didn't come to visit you three much, if at all. You didn't know why exactly, but something told you Evelyn wouldn't be a good influence on your daughter. She never treated you badly, but you sure knew she didn't treat Alexandra well.

Spoiling wasn't the same as parenting. Nor was whatever that witch did.

In Alexandra's point of view, she recognizes that you seem very distant to her in general, but from her perspective you seem to be slowly getting more comfortable around her- Even if you don't notice!

It can be a bit frustrating that you never give her the same amount of attention you give Yasmin, but she doesn't mind all that much… It's really cute to see how much you care about your family, it's all that she could ever dream off!

Nice try in trying to make her mad, yeah, she gets a little petty sometimes but she isn't the same person anymore, whatever you did during all these years somehow motivated her to become a better person for the sake of you and for the sake of your daughter.

Alex isn't completely unaware of your disinterest, the fact that even after all this time you still feel conflict hurts her but it makes a lot of sense.

But since you're married to her, she would still like to think she has a chance to win your heart, if you would like that or not is up to you or course.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Honestly your blog is the only BG3 blog I check daily. (Dam you- for having me check tumblr everyday now)

Now for an ask. What do you think Selunite!Shadowheart- Were!shadowheart, Minthara and Gale (bonus Karlach) would react to a Dark Urge Tav who has apparently an insane questionable and despicable past (regarding the in game apparent sexual relation to Orin and necrophelia unfortunately, which mind blown from a player perspective)

- undecided anon

-

This actually means a lot to me that you're interested enough in my thoughts and writing to check it out every day <3 as much as it feals like I'm yelling into the void sometimes, it's nice to remember there are actual people on the other end in the void who are silently listening.

Thank you for telling me this, words genuinely fail me when it comes to describing how these small comments make me happy.

Now, mention of dark topics below cut

Including Necrophilia, Incest, Exhibition, Gore, Murder, Torture, Body fluids, Animal abuse, and Vivisections

Durge is genuinely unhinged. Through all the flashbacks and hints we see of their past through the game, one is more horrible than the last.

They dunked their butler's head into the open bladder of the guy they were preforming a vivisection on and choked him in their piss because he made a mistake. Source from the noblestalk flashback.

The sexual implications of their relationship with Gortash, a tyrant who killed and enslaved endless people. I don't recall the Orin implications but taking your words on it, it would kind of be considered incest since she is also a bhaalspawn. She is even a product of incest herself.

They have a long history of animal abuse and mistreatment, too. They aren't below preying on souls weaker than them. The cat on the rooftop in moonrise towers who mentions how Durge kicked her a lot, also the squirrel in act 1.

What they did to Alfira too.

Shadowheart, Minthara, and maybe arguably Karlach have a dark past. All of them have murdered and tortured people in the past.

Minthara

Minthara is the most extreme out of them. Not only did she participate in the cruel nature of drow culture, but also the fact she doesn't exactly see anything wrong with it. Yes, her crimes, her own crimes, not the ones she was brainwashed to commit, pale in comparison to Durge, but it still would make any sane good person turn away from her.

She doesn't react much to Durge's cruelty through the game. If anything, she encourages it and at times turned on by it. I don't think she would encourage Necrophilia and incest but those might be her only hard no. The rest like gore and turtore is not a deal breaker to her.

Minthara is the companion that Durge could be the most free with when it comes to following their dark urges. As long as they don't hold the knife to her own throat. She does think it is freaky and weird of Durge but she is used to freaky and weird from drow culture.

Her moral compass does exist. It's mostly evil. Her only deal breakers are when you betray her own trust, if you hurt other people she doesn't care.

She used to be in love with Orin, even worshipping her. Ingame. But Orin betrayed her trust so Minthara loathed her from that day on.

Although I have a feeling that she condems needless cruelty, sure, sate your appetite, but don't let it consume you. If you can't seize control over your own urges when it matters, then how are you any different from a frenzied mutt? Control yourself and prove to her you are a sane person and she will stay with you.

Shadowheart

Back in her Sharran days, she admits to torturing and breaking prople. She lied and manipulated do many people to get her way and to serve Shar.

It would be hypocritical of her to judge you on your past, no matter how much darker it is than hers in comparison. Especially a Selunite Shadowheart who would feel like she owes her life to you interference back at the nightsong confrontation.

But a Selunite Shadowheart wouldn't indulge your dark urges, she will only forgive your past. If you still seek bloodlust then either let her help you through it, or both of you can go your separate ways.

That's only after the ending tho, during your travel days, she will turn a blind eye to your gorey displays and chalk it up to the cruel road you've faced. She will give you the benfit of the doubt until the city is saved.

Her parents still had hope in her seeing the truth one day and waking up, so she tries to extend the same courtesy to you for as much as she can.

A Werewolf Shadowheart would fall into the same category if she had ended up a Selunite. Although being a werewolf and all, she will relate to your struggle more than normal Shadowheart ever could. She also has urges that steer her to darker thoughts and desires that she battles everyday, the two of you can get through this together.

Karlach

Now her case is...very speical. Technically, she committed no sins or crimes on her own because she was enslaved during her time fighting in the demon wars. Yet still she killed many, she has never developed an appetite for blood because of it.

She doesn't shy away from killing tho, it's an average everyday thing for her now. She will kill and fight if she had to in order to survive.

But, because she has lived among demons, even got almost close to befriending one, she has seen much worse than anything Durge could've ever done.

Incest and Necrophilia barely scratch the surface of what devils get down to. Let alone the humiliation and truely sickening things they force upon their victims. Karlach bared witness to all of that.

She wants Durge to change, not to end up like these devils. She reassures them that they are better than this, that they have the strength to change and not go down this disgusting road.

She isn't phased by it like Minthara, but unlike Minthara, she never endorsed or participated in the cruelty around her.

I think she'll have a heart to heart with Durge about it. Try to get them to see people as real people with souls and emotions, not just cattle for slaughter.

A single life is very precious, especially to someone like her who was robbed of their own life. She will never forgive Durge for robbing an innocent person out of their life.

But she would definitely freak out over the Gortash relationship thing, because more of personal reasons. You fell in love with that monster as he is? The same man who robbed her of her own heart and betrayed her trust? She would genuinely break down.

Gale

He is a very very speical case.

Gale is naive in a way. Not to infantilise him, but he tends to view the world through rose colored lenses. Part to being human, another part to having lived in the lap of luxury and privilege.

Gale saw the best of what the world had to offer, Gale fell in love with a zealous benevolent goddess who's good alligned, Gale was isolated in one of the richest cities in Faerun with rich scholars for friends.

Gale thought Minthara was just misunderstood when he met her.

He is aware of good and evil, he just has such a distorted view of evil that he never recognises it when it's face to face with him. He forgets that evil people can be charming, beautiful and funny and they might just be his own friends.

In his world view, he is good, therefore anything and everything he interacts with willingly must be good.

He is delusional.

And it doesn't help that life and sheer luck only encouraged his delusions, only soldified his views that bad people can be quelled by ordering everyone a shot at the tavren and that no one truly would wish to harm someone else given the chance right?

He will make endless excuses for Durge's past. So many far-fetched justifications to fit you into the box of good people he keeps in his orbit.

That is, if Durge never confronts him with their present urges to still participate in bloodshed.

Otherwise he will just downplay your confessions of guilt and brush off your unsettling comments. Always going the extra mile to give you all the benfits to the doubt.

Unless you make him face the cold truth reality in the form of a slaughtered grove of innocent people.

Even then, while he particpated, his delusions still make excuses for you, telling him there must be a reason for all of this, he just has to have faith in you.

Ans in the aftermath when it's just him and you, kneedeep in gore at camp. He revolts at the sight of you, sneers and glares into your face. Fully blaming everything on YOU. That YOU must be corrupting him, fully driving his agenda that he is good and will always be good! It's you who is responsible for his own actions.

It's also these delusions of him being a good person that inflate his ego enough to let him persure the crown of Karsus, that makes him think he is beyond the corruption of greed while simultaneously blaming any and all of his actions that he doesn't like onto Durge and saying they must've corrupted him.

He isn't just ignorant, he is choosing to remain ignorant.

Durge can manipulate a power hungry Gale into staying with them even while they openly bathe in the remains of corpses. If they feed into his delusions.

the fact that a running gag background character is more fleshed out then Millie is just sad at this point like I’m starting the think she just there for being eyecandy and nothing more

Sorry I wrote excessively you can read this if you like ❤️ I miss the Millie we could have had

She had so much potential and sometimes the start of the episode is about her and then…moxie and his beta male inferiority complex kicks in. And I love moxie but I’m pretty fucking sick of his schtick now. This has happened three times to Millie and Moxie has had 5 low-confidence stories FIVE

Harvest Moon Festival, Exes and Oohs, Unhappy Campers, all false flag Millie episodes with the latter two having too much gratuitous off putting sex scenes and shit penis or incest jokes. Her husband stole them with his whiny frankly pathetic, because this happens every week and was only done well in Harvest Moon, inferiority complex. She’s an unsatisfied bride and he’s a dweeb.

Exes and Oohs should have been about Millie. This scene set me up to think it was about her, just look how interesting it is.

- Inexplicable anger at something, queen is illegible

- Loona scared of her

- Shows her rage being difficult to manage needing her to take it out on something. They have a device at the ready

- She hisses at everyone. Even at Moxie for a second, then has to physically reign in her anger because it’s him. In that few seconds alone we see she’s had an anger management journey. He doesn’t flinch because she’s never given him a reason to be afraid of her. That is cute.

- After that she becomes vulnerable for a moment, hurt, we see a hint of pain, and a hint of her past. She covers up with anger.

BUT ALSO—SIKE

THIS WAS JUST SETTING UP AN EP ABOUT MOXIES PAST, MOXIES FEELINGS, MOXIES EX, AND MORE MOXIE ANGST, We never find out another detail about Millie and Chaz, and Blitz sexualised their hurtful relationships with this guy. Gross. Not funny anymore.

And I call bullshit because he was established in Harvest Moon Festival to be from Wrath not Greed. Crimson is a pointless nothing character. Empty mean dad story and fridged mom. I want a story about a nice dad who loves his daughter, but encourages her impulsive side too much. Millie’s dad. And Millie’s mom.

Have Exes and Oohs be set in Wrath, it should have been about Millie and her parents dealing with inheritance of the established farm, not a made up mafia guy with a nothing motivation. Farm inheritance is a real life situation. Have her ex Chaz trying to get with her sister or something by blackmail. Maybe keep the Moxie mutual ex joke. Or better yet, if you want lgbt themes, let Sallie May talk about what it’s like to be a trans woman in an old fashioned country bumpkin place. How her parents accepted and loved her unconditionally, maybe even to her surprise. That’s a tear jerker. Or maybe it took them some work. Id love to hear her story. The angst flashback is replaced with Millie constantly going too far with her anger and needing to be stopped, maybe she gave Sallie May that scar and they never had a proper conversation about it. Leading to the tension they have now. Women always have to hold back anger for everyone else’s sake, especially when she was too OP to compete against the men and was disqualified in Harvest Moon

FFS I want a story about two normal parents!!!

Anyways, When the family see it’s a blackmail wedding, have Millies mom say “just this once, don’t hold back that fire in you honey” Keep that badass as fuck wedding crashing scene but have it be for someone who isn’t a man. Show her restraint fighting for a woman she cares about, her sister.

That’s how you can at least start to write women.

Freaky Idea

Pt. 2 of New Idea

pairing: Stepbrother!Taehyung x Fem!Reader

genre: oneshot, pseudo-incest, smut

synopsis: The last guaranteed day you have with Taehyung is spent with his choice of adventure. You learn a lot of things about the history of freakshows, and how much of a freak your brother is as well.

warnings: mention of murder and somnophilia, riding, manipulation

word count: 3.8k

When Taehyung agreed to being your slave for a month, he wasn’t lying. He was attached to your hip throughout the whole time span, obeying your every command without complaint. You didn’t deem him forgiven, but you can’t say you don’t enjoy his company and compliance. The whole month was a bliss for you.

The first week, the morning after the… event, you had him prepare breakfast for you and your mother walked in on him cooking an omelette for you. She was perplexed, and with her morning drowsiness asked, “You’re home?” before smothering him with a hug. Your father gave him the minimum acknowledgement, and it went by quickly with your mother being surprised every time she saw him in the morning.

The second week, he drove you around and paid for your every need. You don’t know how he has so much money, but you wouldn’t be surprised if he sells drugs or had robbed a bank. You decided to reward him by kissing his cheek every time he bought you clothes and jewelries per your request. He realized he enjoyed spoiling you, and took you shopping in different malls for 7 days straight.

The third week, you met his friend. You had insisted, and he gave in after a short while of you begging because it was difficult to say no to you and rules are rules. His terms were: 1. You're going to act like his girlfriend, and 2. You sit on his lap. Maybe you didn't get it, but his friend Namjoon didn't seem dangerous enough for you to be behaving the way you were forced to. Sitting in front of a burning barrel in the middle of nowhere, Taehyung and Namjoon smoked weed together while you watched them. The conversation was fun, and you wanted to see him again. Taehyung didn’t allow you to question the ordeal. Rest of the week went by a breeze.

Fourth week was relatively calm as well, and now Taehyung is on his final day of slavery. It’s somewhat melancholic for you because you don’t know if he’ll vanish once the clock hits 12. You’re sitting on the kitchen counter, swinging your dangling legs while your step-brother inspects the fridge to find you something for lunch. The two of you woke up late this morning, well, afternoon, and you don’t know why you feel so exhausted and sore. You’ve been feeling this way for a whole month now, but you’re growing somewhat used to it. 

“This bitch is empty,” Taehyung grumbles before closing the fridge and standing up straight. When he notices your soft pout, he slithers his way between your legs. “What’s wrong princess? Are you tired?”

“Will you be here tomorrow?” you blurt without beating around the bush and peek at him under your lashes.

His brow ticks as he tilts his head. “Did you want to do something?”

“Well, no,” you drawl, “I just wish… you were here more often.”

"You know I can't stay away from you for long," he counters your worries, "especially if you allowed me to…"

"Stop." You distance yourself by pushing him away; you don't want to think about what he was implying. You made it explicitly clear that anything remotely sexual wasn't allowed to be brought up when you were around, and he’s been sticking to that rule until now - to your knowledge, at least. 

“Stop teasing your sister, Taehyung.” your mother enters the kitchen while tying the knot of her robe, now checking the fridge herself. 

He rolls his eyes before turning to her and retaliating, “I didn’t even do anything.” You giggle to yourself and bite your fist. “Did I tease you?” he asks innocently with his neck craned in your direction.

“Yes, he doesn’t even make me breakfast,” you joke with a grin. 

“The fridge is fucking empty!”

“Language,” your mother warns strictly before taking out a box of frozen pizza. “And it isn’t empty. Could you turn on the oven for me, love?” You nod and arrange the heat to 200 degrees while Taehyung scoffs, “I can’t survive in a house with women.”

“Man up,” your step-father butts in monotonously. “You have to rely on your mother to cook to this day. When will you move out? Act your age Taehyung, you’re 21.”

The light-hearted atmosphere dims with the presence of Taehyung’s father. There’s a distinct contrast between your two parents, and you can understand why your step-brother is so rebellious around them. The only thing holding them together is their dedication to religion. 

He only huffs and crosses his arms in response as his dad grabs a carton of juice and a glass from the cupboard. It’s tense in the room until Taehyung leans into your ear and whispers, “I’m only here because of you.”

A light blush tints your cheeks at his sweet confession, although it also makes you guilty. He later convinces you to eat with him in your room, and it’s comfortable in your bed as you chomp on the slices hungrily. 

“Is there anything you want to do today?” Taehyung asks as he chews on his pizza.

“Let’s do something you want for a change,” you answer after swallowing. 

Though he hasn’t been showing any lack of interest around you, you are aware that you haven’t been doing anything fun by his definition. You’re worried that you’ve bored him throughout this whole timespan of being together.

A smirk grows on his face and there’s that glint of mischief in his eyes that you’ve missed. Fair, the last time you saw it was before he traumatized you, but you try not to think about it much like you ignore the constant ache between your legs. 

“There’s this circus,” he begins slowly, “I hear it’s interesting. Would you want to come with?”

You know he’s leaving something out, his cautious tone and aura implicit he knows something you don’t. But you nod anyway, because you still stupidly trust him.

Taehyung’s car is old and retro, but he must have upgraded the engines for how fast he is driving. You like admiring his side profile as he holds the steering wheel, but the view is much more interesting when he catches you looking. It’s a far location, and you’re out of the city by the time he parks his car in the woods. How did he memorize the directions when it took an hour to get there?

“We’re here,” he announces before shifting the manual stick gear with a screech. You exit the car and he is not gentle with the way he slams the door closed, so you do the same. You can see hints of red colors between the cracks of the thin trees. 

“Is it open?” you question apprehensively. The sun hasn’t set yet, but it should be getting dark soon in the evening. 

“Hasn’t been open for a century. You wouldn’t believe the amount of history this place has.”

He takes the lead in his steps, and you follow behind though your gut doesn’t approve. The path isn’t long, and only then do you see the circus when Taehyung moves aside. It’s run down, worn out colors in the curtains, broken glasses on the ground and the circus barely holding itself up. There’s a huge cannon in the middle of the stage, the tip balancing itself on the ground. It’s kind of creepy, but Taehyung doesn’t leave you in the dark for long.

“A lot of crazy shit happened here, you know,” he piques your curiosity, “the clowns were fucking freaks. Any type of physical disorder landed you in here, whether you liked it or not. Even for babies,” he picks up an idle shard of glass, “these were jars. They had deformed fetuses on display on a stand, but the wind must have fucked it up.”

“Deformed fetuses?”

“Yeah, like, conjoined and some other stuff.” You grimace at his description, although it stirs empathy in you. The 20th century sounds inhumane. 

“Are these real stories?” 

“Yeah. And the cannon: they rocketed people from this very bad boy,” he points at it before standing under.

Your stomach sinks as you panic, “It could fall on you!” You pull at his hand and the force makes your chests meet. He smiles down at you before pecking your lips. You stammer, a little mad as he chuckles before walking to a wooden wheel. He makes a star pose after stepping on the metal stand, stretching out his limbs to fit the whole circle. 

“This was the Wheel of Death; they threw knives at targets on this. I think they only targeted females actually...” He nods at you to replace him as he hops off. You go along with his idea and climb on the stand, though it creaks weakly. He takes out a pocket knife from his pocket and you’re about to yell before he hurls it at you. It lands above your shoulder and you immediately scold, “What the fuck, Tae?! Why would you do that! I could’ve died.”

He shrugs with a bright grin, clearly unbothered by your stressing. “My aim isn’t too bad.” He walks over to you and collects his floating knife. “Besides, when have I ever hurt you?”

You bite your tongue and purse your lips with a glare. 

“See?” he whispers. “You can’t even name one time…”

He’s teasing your silence, how you can’t even dare to voice the specific night. You haven’t even told your parents and slept with him right after, and he finds that so interesting: that you trust him with your life. 

“You actually can’t? Wow, I didn’t realize I was such a good brother,” he grins lopsidedly before snapping his fingers. “On with the tour.” He is enthusiastic as he struts past the circus. You shake your head with a sigh but follow him regardless. “So there were sword swallowers, acrobats, strongmen, anything that drew attention. They had a shit ton of accidents and deaths, but you would die if you got boring as well.” Taehyung holds back a bush to let you pass; the place he’s leading you to is a lot more crowded with sages and trees than the previous path. “Once the initial attraction wears off, you’re a goner. They couldn’t survive in that society with those deformities, so it was suicide either way.”

“That is so cruel,” you mumble sympathetically. “This place was like a fractured fantasy.”

“At least they lived for a bit… up until someone ended it.” When he pushes away the woodruffs, you’re met with another rundown site with a few… cages? “This is the trailer. Where they stayed and got ready for their shows. Some were held against their will, and slept with the animals in those cages.”

You gape at your surroundings in shock. The trailer is missing one side of the wall, and the rest have been vandalized with random phrases written in spray paint. You don’t give much attention to the torture cages, because the trailer has a lot more to show. It still has couches on the incomplete hardwood flooring, and Taehyung plops on one. The fabric is torn and dust rises the moment he’s on the seat. “That’s so dirty, Tae,” you pull a displeased face.

“Don’t be rude to the past occupants. Their ghosts might still be around.” He wiggles his fingers as if imitating a monster. He then pats his thighs, beckoning you to sit on his lap. You begrudgingly do so, and he wraps his arms around your waist before pulling you flush against him. “Any theories on how this shitshow ended?”

“Police intervention?”

“Something like that, I guess. One of the acrobats went nuts and shot everyone, so the place was shut down.”

“What?” you widen your eyes at him. “Why did they do that?”

“He was going to be replaced, so he got rid of the competition. Very chilling,” he casually states. “There must be some bullet holes in the walls, but we can check that out later.” His head snuggles into your neck while you’re still processing his words, but you go blank when he starts leaving feather light kisses on your neck. “Right now,” he murmurs, “I just want you to ride me.”

“Ride you?”

“Don’t act innocent, you know what I mean. You said I could choose what we did today… and I want to fuck here.”

“Taehyung… I specifically told you we aren’t allowed to do anything sexual. You hurt me last time as well,” you frown at the mention. 

“I asked you if I ever hurt you earlier. Did you say anything?” he asks condescendingly.

“No…”

“Why are you saying I hurt you now? Don’t tell lies, baby. Besides,” his hand slides down to your thigh as he speaks in a low, sultry voice, “I’ve been loosening up your cunt. You don’t even wake up at night anymore. It won’t hurt this time, I promise.”

You had an inkling, the stupid inkling that you tried so damn hard to brush aside. “You fucked me in my sleep?” you force out, your mouth suddenly feeling dry. “And you brought me here just to–”

“Christ, no,” he cuts you off offendedly, “I’m not that sick in the head. I didn’t plan it, but I can’t say I wasn’t hoping. It’s not like I’m going to rape you.”

“You did it once!”

“I was on a lot of drugs then! I’m clean now,” he huffs in irritation. “I’m sorry about that, and I know my apology is long overdue or whatever, but give me a break. I’ve been into you since I was like 16.”

You turn to look at him - really look at him. There’s not a trace of guilt on his face; the roots of his messy teal hair have grown out; the beauty of his naturally downward lip corners; you don’t know what to think. Your mind is a mess because you don’t know what to make of his confession. He has manipulated you countless times, coerced you into doing things you would never do, and for once you reflect on his personality. This could be one of his schemes in order to get you to do what he wants, and ironically, he was supposed to be doing that for you. Through all of your scrambled thoughts, you only muster a meek “really?”

“Yes,” he affirms, “that’s why I want to be intimate with you.”

Lies, lies, lies, you think before gently pressing your lips against his. Despite your attempt at kissing him softly, he doesn’t cooperate by instantly sucking on your nether lip with vigor, his hands immediately meeting at your hips to gently rock them against his crotch. He bites your lip before swiping his tongue against it, coaxing, “Suck on my tongue.” The awkward angle from where you’re kissing him makes him turn your body to completely face him, your knees landing on either side of him on the uncomfortable chair. It doesn’t matter, because you’re starting to forget the whole setting, just about everything except for him as arousal begins to seep in. Heat pools in your stomach at the switch in mood, and he’s enjoying your compliance as he quietly moans into your mouth. 

While you’re busy relishing in his swirling tongue, he starts tugging down your pants and you help him without looking. You sit up to push it down your ankles and throw it on the floor along with your panties. “What’s gotten into you?” he chuckles breathlessly before leaving wet kisses on your lips and pulling away to take off his wrinkled shirt. 

“What do you mean?” you ask, equally breathless.

“I don’t know, you’re just… so hot when you’re horny.” His boyish smile grows on your flustered face as he says, “Take off your shirt. Wanna see those pretty tits again.”

You bite your lip to suppress your insecurities, but it doesn’t help when you’re left in your bra as you cover your chest. “Don’t be shy now,” he teases knowingly and removes your arms before unclasping the garment. “Take out my cock now.” His tone is gentle with encouragement. You unzip his jeans timidly, but your eyes grow in wonder at the outline of his erection. “I’m so hard for you,” he assures you in a whisper and takes your hand in his to rub himself. “You’re so pretty, and sexy. I fucked you every night because you’re just so irresistible. You understand, don’t you, baby?” 

“I… Yes,” you agree and finally push down his briefs. His throbbing cock stands proudly and you’re intimidated by the size until he murmurs, “I won’t hurt you.” He lightly touches your bare pussy, slick with your arousal as you shudder. He coats your vulva with all of it, giving special attention to your clenching hole as he inserts a single finger. “Does it hurt?”

You shake your head, and you’re confused by the lack of pain and the desire for more. It feels good and that is a surprise for you as you sink down lower on his finger. He curls it, adds another finger and stretches your walls, emitting a moan out of you. You’re liking it, and you don’t know why; he was so cruel the last time that you were convinced something would go wrong now. Nothing does, and if anything, his fingers make you feel the best you have ever felt though it is not enough. “More,” you beg and he replaces his fingers by pulling you to the head of his cock. He’s staring right at you with hooded lids as he rubs it up and down, making you release a needy whimper. “Please, Taehyung.”

And like the slave he was meant to be, he shoves it in with a grunt. Your scream catches in your throat at the initial sting, but it’s worth it when he screws his eyes shut in pleasure and bites his lip to hold back a groan. He looks angelic under you, although he is anything but. You realize he is waiting for your cue to move, and it flutters your hearts because he is more attentive to you this time. Rather than letting him take the lead, you act on your instincts as you roll your hips. It’s unsteady at first, the foreign position making it difficult for you to adapt to so fast. His audible quick breaths encourage you to take your time in angling your pelvis comfortably, and when an involuntary moan leaves you, you place your hands on his shoulders before sticking to the current stance and going up and down on him. 

“Oh shit, you’re doing so well,” he praises you between gasps, supporting your body with his hands, “feels so fucking good. My good girl.”

It gets to your head, how much he’s enjoying your motions. He meets them with thrusts of his own, perfectly hitting your cervix and blinding you with pleasure. What is it that makes you feel so wonderful in this situation? Is it the touch, or the complimentary fact that you’re the only person Taehyung wouldn’t get bored of? 

Could it be that you’re two of the same?

Maybe he’s the one desperate to please you, you think as he massages your breasts, flicking your hard nipples with his thumbs so graciously. The eerie silence is broken by both of your loud moans, ecstasy sensually building up in knots in your stomachs. Sweat accumulates on your forehead, your hair sticking to your face but not hiding the sight of his erotic expression. You arch your back and grind down on him, and he’s limp on the loveseat as he takes all that you give him so submissively.

It’s your turn to use him, and you actually start understanding what makes him so rash and impulsive in hopes of receiving this amount of serotonin. It’s worth it, the release of control and morals to be with him. “Taehyung, h-how did you do it?” you moan. “Every night, what did you do?”

“I,” he tries to catch his breath, “I used my fingers to stretch you out. One finger, then two, then three.” He groans and thrusts into you fast and hard, “I fisted you at some point, and you came in your sleep, and then on my cock. Moaning and whining every fucking night, like some filthy whore.” You mewl at his crude words. He’s so obscene with you, and you clench your walls in response. “You like being my whore, hm? Little freak.”

“Yes, yes,” you confirm in a whimper, nodding your head as you pass the dominance onto him. He’s fucking into you while you stand on your knees, eyes rolled back with drool about to drip from the corner of your mouth. He starts to rub your clit and kisses your neck for you to tighten around him over and over again; it’s heaven in an empty graveyard. It’s so fucked up, yet he can’t stop. You’re panting as he manipulates your body to mold with his. “I’m close.”

His hands fall on your ass, greedily kneading it as your hips begin to stutter, your orgasm climbing up just as your energy is falling down. It hits you like a truck: the peak of pleasure, accompanied by a silent scream, nails digging into his skin as your muscles tense. “Fuck,” you breathe once his thrusts begin overstimulating you, but it’s not for long as he shoots his load inside you with a groan. He’s twitching as his erection becomes flaccid, and you feel it as he pulls out. 

“Bet it didn’t hurt,” he jokes while you recover from your climax. You’re leaking with his cum and he uses his shirt to wipe you clean, making you shake from how sensitive you are. “I’ll buy you the pill on the way home.”

“Thanks,” you plainly say and stand up to pick up your clothes. You’re trembling slightly and a little achy, but it’s nothing compared to losing your virginity. 

“What? You gonna give me the cold shoulder now?” He’s only in his loose pants and has his shirt thrown over his shoulder. He buckles his belt while you put on your bra. 

“Why did you make us act like a couple in front of Namjoon?” After hearing his confession, the interaction before bugs you.

“What do you mean?”

“Is it because you didn’t want him to think I was single? Because you like me?”

“No, he’s a convicted felon. Crazy motherfucker killed his ex’s new boyfriend,” he reveals with a scoff. “Besides, if you like me, you’d like him as well.”

Putting your shock aside, you realize one thing: Taehyung doesn’t want to be replaced. Does that mean you hold power over him? Or will he do anything at any cost to be in your life?  Regardless of your internal monologue, you only reply with, “who says I like you?”

It’s a joke, and he knows it. As promised, he buys you an emergency pill and another shirt for himself on the way home. His days of slavery are over, and you wonder: where will he be tomorrow? Maybe take his father’s advice… 

I recently watched Encanto and I literally cannot get over how amazing it is. The songs—*sharp inhale* chef’s kiss. The characters—*incoherent shouting because I don’t know how else to express my adoration for this movie* AMAZING. As those who read my Azula&Zuko-centric fic and my Jason Todd fic know, I LOVE FAMILIAL CHARACTER DYNAMICS. Just can’t get enough of them. And the Batfamily is a prime example of a fandom I have spent hours poring over, digging out absolute jewels of fics and filtering out what I clearly consider incest (please don’t, guys, just don’t). So, I wanted to make a connection between Encanto and the Batfam, specifically which songs apply to which members. I’m probably going to write some more when I have time, but Tim’s my favorite child, so let’s start off with him! Just a warning, I have not read any Batman or DC comics. All my knowledge (or lack thereof) comes from fanfics. I tend to embrace fanon more than canon anyway. I hope y’all enjoy my sort-of character analysis of our very own sleep-deprived, caffeine-addicted sad boy!

Waiting on a Miracle - Tim Drake

Tim has always been an outsider in the family. He was the one who forced himself in, not for his own sake and ambitions, but because he believed that Gotham needs Batman to survive. He realized that Robin was the only one who could save Batman, and since Jason was gone, Tim himself would simply have to do. However, as he grows closer to the family, he begins to long to be a part of them and be loved by them, and for a while, he starts to think that maybe it’s a real possibility that Bruce, Dick, and Alfred might actually care about him, not just what he brought to the table as Robin. Then Jason returns. He’s furious that Tim has supposedly taken his place. He nearly kills him multiple times, but is eventually brought back to the fold because he’s the prodigal son coming home at last. Tim is happy. How can he not be? Jason was his Robin, and bringing him home is far more important than some silly feelings he may have about seeing his torturer walk past him in the halls. It doesn’t matter that he flinches at every sudden movement Jason makes. It doesn’t matter that his breath comes a little quicker when Jason slings an arm around his shoulders. It just doesn’t matter. Time passes. Things get better. He and Jason have gotten closer, everything seems to be going well. Then Damian appears. The lost son. He tries to kill Tim, nearly right off the bat. Dick tells Tim to be patient, to be the bigger man, he can do that, right? Because Tim is so mature, Tim’s an adult. Tim is sixteen, but he just smiles and nods. Then Bruce disappears. Tim knows he’s alive, he has the foundations of proof, he just needs more evidence, just needs to find him. He goes to Dick for help. The first Robin, the man he considered his older brother, responds by threatening to send him to Arkham if he doesn’t drop it. He rips away Robin from Tim and hands the mantle to Damian. The kid has tried to kill him three times now. Tim leaves. Months later, he returns with Bruce. He’s applauded, admired, and respected in the hero community, now more than ever, but it feels so hollow (especially where his spleen used to be, but what’s losing an organ compared to the importance of the mission, the mission that can’t go on without his fa—Batman). He never has much time to himself anymore, with all his responsibilities as Red Robin and the CEO of Wayne Industries, a role that Bruce continues to leave to him, saying that he wants to spend more time with his family. Alright. Tim can take a hint. He knows when he’s not wanted, which is basically the story of his life. But on the days where everything is sluggish and somber and sad and his heart feels like it’s about to implode and he kind of wishes it would so he wouldn’t have to deal with the stubborn ache in his chest whenever he looks at the Wayne family loving each other, just being a family… Tim wishes. He imagines. Not to be the first son, or the prodigal son, or even the blood son, but to have a place all his own in the family. Even just a little one. To be seen as more than a tool at best and a nuisance at worst. Tim hopes for a miracle.

Sometimes I forget people aren’t used to consuming Chinese media like I am so they expect any bl to be explicit.

Like today someone referred to Childe and Zhongli as potential “queerbaiting” to me and I had to pause for a moment and consider this. I always take things in stride when it comes to what is called “queerbaiting” in Chinese media because we don’t know how strict censors are (sometimes bl seems mostly okay, sometimes it seems a little less okay, sometimes it seems okay as long as it’s not “anti-gov”... Oh, and the topic of censorship is a whole ‘nother complex discussion due to it happening because China rebuilt itself with all-new policies and was also westernized after suffering under colonization...).

Like I can’t objectively tell you if some of these series with bl are queerbaiting because it arguably challenges censors and in many ways, is entirely meant to be taken as canon—so is it really queerbaiting then?

Take Childe and Zhongli and their fenghuang chopsticks. That seems entirely intentional. A Chinese game using a traditional Chinese theme for an object exchanged between two men that represents unity, harmony, and marriage? That’s pretty much intentionally gay if you ask me, but maybe that is just me. 😆

But we all remember The Untamed and how Wangxian exchanged loving glances, touched each other constantly, basically got married (through symbolism of the forehead ribbon and the exchanging of chickens), calling each other a term that could mean either “life-long confidant” or “soulmate” and so on.

We never got a canonical scene where they kissed or said “I love you,” but we can see the intent there. We know what they’re saying. The same applies for the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. The manhua is more obvious about it, but they still cut a kiss scene... But since it appears it was still drawn, we can take that as it having still happened. And Mo Dao Zu Shi Q takes this further than the regular donghua too because the censors are more lax on them.

And yes. They are based on a bl novel, so it’s a little different from Genshin Impact, but if you consume as much Chinese media as me, you can usually tell when a team/author is intentionally using symbolism to suggest a canon couple, often with a traditional Chinese theme. Like why use the fenghuang theme? They really didn’t have to do that, but they did it. 👀

The animated movie Jiang Ziya used language that suggested Shen Gongbao and Jiang Ziya could be a couple, but it was never explicit. But hell, they basically adopt a daughter! I interpreted them as a couple but didn’t see it as fully intentional or canon until talking to a good friend of mine whose Chinese is better than mine. There were more hints and reasons to believe they cared about each other in that way, so we concluded it was way more obvious than we would’ve thought at first glance. And that’s kind of how China does it when the main focus of a story isn’t bl but there’s a potentially bl couple.

And even when there are censors, there have been a variety of ways Chinese media has skirted censors in the past. Like in Beryl and Sapphire, we get the “survivor’s cut” where things are censored and the “director’s cut” where things aren’t censored (so characters can hug, kiss, confess, cuddle, and so on). And Beryl and Sapphire, while originally designed by the author as two males, are designed so they can be in any story (bl or not) and were originally drawn in the comic as stick figures so you could imagine their gender as whatever you want (so they could even be girls’ love if you so desire!).

Or how in Spirit Pact the male leads kiss to give each other power or exchange vows but the manhua’s creator said it’s “not necessarily because they’re in love.” There was debate this is queerbaiting, but could the creator just be avoiding trouble with censors? The very fact the male leads kiss so much and care so much about one another suggests intent.

Now contrast that to Hualian from the Tian Guan Ci Fu donghua, where things are so obvious and it’s even gayer than the novel in some areas. People keep questioning how they got it past censors, and that makes me rethink how I view Chinese censors. However strict they truly are, Chinese media is very purposeful in how they depict bl couples.

So I don’t really think about whether something is queerbaiting or explicitly canon in Chinese media. I basically see something that can be read as bl through symbolism/language/metaphor and I see that as intentional. The creators are letting you choose how you want to read it, and you may never get the kiss you want, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t “canon.” There’s often intent behind it, and because of varying levels of censorship, I take the idea of “queerbaiting” in Chinese media with a grain of salt.

For example, Kaeya and Diluc use a term in Chinese very similar to sworn brothers, which can be romantic in Chinese. With modern day China, creators often use “sworn brotherhood” as a way to depict romance and skirt censors. And yes, I know the English translation labels them as two adopted brothers, which is also okay! But as I’ve confirmed with multiple native Chinese speakers, the original Chinese language used is not exactly family-oriented, and that can be viewed as intentional (that’s why you see some Chinese fans ship Diluc and Kaeya while the western fandom views it as incest). Language is complex! There’s no clean, clear-cut answer.

Bl is popular in China, but it’s not always the main focus of every series (you know, sometimes bl is the side couple). We could say You Shou Yan features an intentional bl couple with Sibuxiang x Tony/Tuye or Fei Ren Zai and All Saints Street feature the intent of potential bl with Yangjian x Guanyin and Nick x Lynn respectively; or Are You OK is bl even if the story doesn’t focus entirely on that but it does feature more than one bl couple; or Wo Jia Dashixiong Naozi You Keng is bl because it features guys crushing on other guys and sharing moments, even though the manhua isn’t about that bl romance explicitly; or see Nezha as having bl potential because of how it interprets the Nezha and Ao Bing relationship (to the point of even changing the depiction of the relationship between Ao Bing and Nezha from the 1979 animated movie to be more domestic rather than as enemies); or even say mihoyo’s other game, Honkai Impact, arguably intentionally features some girls’ love too.

https://youtu.be/vw-nx26xUQI

Maybe it’s just because I identify as ace and I don’t mind if there’s no signs of sex scenes and I’ve even grown accustomed to not seeing kisses. I love seeing other signs of love—like protecting your partner, being their sugar daddy, hanging out with them a lot, and all that jazz. If there’s a kiss, great! If not, that’s fine too because there are other things to suggest they’re canon.

So is Zhongli and Childe queerbaiting? I don’t personally think so. Those fenghuang chopsticks suggest marriage or at least harmony in unity, and marriage or “being together” can be seen as quite canon. Will they say it out loud? I guess not, but we have to acknowledge the context that it’s still from China and there are censors for them to deal with.

But if you don’t want Childe and Zhongli to be canon, that’s totally okay too! I mean...it is also a game, and games even more than media can be interpreted differently since every user’s experience differs.

Love is love—and that includes whether there’s a kiss or not, when the author/team intends it and lets you interpret it any which way, you can interpret their symbols as signs of how canon your two favourite characters are!

Oh, and as a finishing thought, here’s a list of donghua recommendations for anyone who wants to check some of these out! I include a lot of good donghua with pictures, descriptions, and links to where to watch. 🥰

ARAGORN X FEMALE HUMAN READER: “Your past does not define you.”

Requested: No, but ya gal was hella inspired.

SPOILERS FOR THE SILMARILLION/THE CHILDREN OF HURIN BELOW! ONLY HIT KEEP READING IF YOU EITHER:

HAVE READ THE SILMARILLION/THE CHILDREN OF HURIN

DO NOT CARE AT ALL AND JUST WANT TO READ THIS

A/N: Reader is HEAVILY based on Turin Turambar, that’s why you have an OP sword and a somewhat tragic past. There are some changes though, Beleg, who was sadly unintentionally killed by Turin, doesn’t exist here. A character based on Nienor doesn’t exist here, so you won’t get involved in incest, don’t worry. Sorry for the lack of originality. 

This is a female reader, I’m really sorry to any male readers out there, but I find that I relate to Turin personality wise, so I just inserted myself in this. Still, anyone can read this if you wish, gender and race is just specified.

This is a favorite of mine, so I hope you feel the same, or at least enjoy reading this. I’ve been having writer’s block for days now.

-

Everywhere you went, danger followed.

It was a complete surprise to you when after weeks being in the Fellowship, you still haven’t done any harm to them, intentional or not. If anyone knew who you truly were, then they have certainly heard of your deeds, both great and evil.

During the council, you were the third to join, assuring Frodo he has your sword. The sword you wielded served you well ever since you kept it in your possession. It was a unique sword, not like the others, not even Narsil, which was almost nothing more than an ordinary sword, or in the words of Boromir, a broken blade, if you come to think of it, could compete.

The sword of yours has done amazing and terrible things. It was a black sword that could cut through iron, glowed at the most random times, it really stood out whenever you unsheathed it. It also spoke when needed, which terrified you at first, but you dealt with it, luckily the sword only spoke to you whenever everyone else was asleep or you were alone.

You saw joining the Fellowship as a good chance to possibly redeem yourself and run away from the past. However, after arriving in Lothlorien, Galadriel looked into your eyes and forced you to relive all of your horrible deeds. You had realized you could not ignore your past, no matter how much you desperately wanted to, but you wanted to abandon it, to prove that you are no longer the unbearable impulsive person you once were.

Those memories were what kept you up at night. And if you were able to get some sleep, it was filled with nightmares that only repeated what happened during that fateful day.

One particular night, you refused to sleep, blankly staring down at the glowing black sword of yours. It was not always yours, it once belonged to your brother then it eventually came to you.

It was the same sword that claimed your brother’s life.

Your younger brother that you swore to protect with your own life. Ever since your home was overrun by orcs, your father was captured and killed. Your mother sent you far away from home, promising she would follow, but she never came, that was the last time you had seen her.

As the oldest, and with no one else around, you took it upon yourself to take care of yourselves, putting your brother first, always saving his life and even risking your life when necessary. You defended him from anyone who dared to cross him, to the point that your devotion cost someone’s life.

From a distance, Aragorn stood, keenly watching you. In your stoic expression, he noticed a faint hint of sorrow. Wanting to comfort you, he made his way to you.

“What troubles your mind?” Aragorn sat beside you, interrupting your thoughts, making you glance at him. “You are barely getting any sleep. Something is keeping you up.” He was trying to make sure he wasn’t pressuring you into telling him in case it was personal.

You shook your head at him. “It’s nothing.” But he saw right through you. The slight shaking of your hands that suddenly gripped tightly on your sword, it betrayed you. He correctly deduced that the sword had to do with it, but he wasn’t sure what about it could make you so upset.

“That sword of yours, it is more than just a black sword. It holds malice in it, does it not?” Aragorn asked. All his assumptions were correct. He could rarely be fooled, not even you, the most closed off person in the Fellowship, could hide secrets from him for long.

Maybe letting out all of your feelings and opening up to someone was actually what you needed to do all along. You couldn’t keep everything a secret anymore, you have been desperately wanting to tell someone, but you were afraid of the backlash you would get for everything you have done, that was the last thing you needed at the moment. 

“This sword does have malice in it. It was forged by a Dark Elf long ago. You may or may not believe me, but I am not lying by telling you, this sword speaks to me occasionally.” Much to your relief, you noticed Aragorn was listening word by word.

“This sword was not always black, nor was it always mine. It belonged to my brother once. It was passed down to me when he died.”

Aragorn saw the expression of yours drastically change as you spoke of your brother, and he thought he shouldn’t have brought it up, it was getting personal already. “There is no need to tell me if-”

But you interrupted him. “I know I don’t have to tell you, but I want to. I can’t keep this to myself, I have been shutting everyone out who has been asking me my own past or the history of this sword I now own. And you are the only one that is willing to listen.” Aragorn nodded as you sighed, preparing yourself to confess every evil deed you have brought upon either yourself or others.

“When I was 9 years old, my father had been captured by orcs and tortured to death. We knew instantly, because when we slept that night, all of us had seen what happened in our dreams. I suppose my mother figured out the orcs were making their way to our home, maybe to end our bloodline, as she sent me and my brother away. That was the last time I ever saw her. She told us she would follow us, but she never came.”

“Ever since, I swore to myself to protect my brother from absolutely any harm that could get in our way. He was younger than I am, he couldn’t take care of himself as well back then. It only grew when years passed, I was still as protective of him as I was the day I took on the responsibility to care for him.”

“Little things such as mockery were not tolerated by me. I had a temper then, which I eventually learned to control, but I used to have a difficult time handling it. One day, an elf had compared my brother and I, who were humans, to animals. I saw in the eyes of my brother how hurt he was, in a rage, I threw a glass right at the elf, and injured him. My brother and I left as quickly as we could before the elf could do anything else.”

“The next day, while I was alone in the woods, the elf had attempted to ambush me. But I was faster than he could ever wish to be, and I caught him. My anger from the previous day had not fully diminished, so I thought it would be a great idea to humiliate him by stripping him off of his clothes. I had threatened him, and in embarrassment, he fled, unaware of his senses, he ran all the way to the edge of the cliff, then fell to his death.”

“That was when I began to realize how much of a monster I really was. I ran far away, not letting anyone know where I went, so I was deemed missing by those who knew me. But I had gone to a place filled with orcs, and fell right into a trap. I was ambushed and badly wounded, and bound me to leave me to my death. I had fallen unconscious from my injuries.”

“My brother traveled far to look for me. He’s not ready to lose his sister, his only family left. It took a while, but he did eventually find me. He tried to untie with his own hands, but saw that the orcs tied the ropes too tight, so he used his sword to remove the bounds.”

“Unfortunately, the sword slipped off his hands and cut my flesh. I awoke in an instant, but my vision was poor at that moment, I felt a presence right by me. I thought it was orcs executing me, so in an instant, I grabbed something closest to me, the sword that cut me, then swung at whoever was right in front of me. I heard the figure fall to the floor, so I knew it was dead.”

“I rubbed my eyes after that, then my vision became clear. I looked at the ground trying to see the orc, but to my horror, it was not an orc at all. It was my brother, who was trying to save me, and I murdered him in response. I noticed the sword was feeling weird, so I looked at it only to see it gradually turning black, as its previous owner had just been slain by the sword. I remember crawling over to his body and holding him close to me, mumbling broken apologies, begging him to come back, but all of it was useless. He was dead, nothing could change that.”

“I buried him myself, in a more peaceful place somewhere. I was defenseless, my own sword had broken when I was ambushed by the orcs, so I took my brother’s sword for myself. It was too powerful to be left without an owner. Just owning it reminds me of what I had done, I don’t want to think about it because I carried a heavy guilt, it was my biggest regret, my worst mistake.”

Not bearing to look at the sword, you let go of the sword, allowing it to fall to the floor, making a loud noise that would’ve woke everyone up had they been in the place where you and Aragorn were. You broke down, not caring if anyone else was watching, you were grieving over the death of your brother, which you haven’t done in a long time. You were covering your face with your hand as tears ran down, then you looked down in shame.

Aragorn was stunned. He felt ridiculous because he related to you when it came to hiding from something, but the reasons were different. He was running away from his lineage, trying to ensure he would never have to rule Gondor as the king, something Elrond used to reprimand him for. His relation to Isildur made him very hesitant, he knew very well what his ancestor had done, failing to destroy the One Ring when he got the chance.

But you? You were going through something completely different. You were running away from your past. You were a different person then, you knew very well the Fellowship wouldn’t like you at all if you never tried to change into a better person. You had led someone to their death, and even committed kinslaying.

His own story was absolutely nothing compared to yours. He had never committed anything as terrible as you have, fearing his own bloodline seemed like a joke.

You felt a hand land softly on your shoulder. Slowly, you pulled your hand away and looked up at Aragorn. You were expecting to be judged by him, but instead, you saw his face was full of pity. Your jaw dropped, it was not the reaction you were expecting at all, however, you appreciated it as he was listening to everything and remained calm to the end.

“I do not think you are a monster,” said Aragorn, “you may have done horrible things, but you are genuinely trying to become a better person. That is more than enough, and your attempts are working, you are a different person than you once were, you have changed for the better. But your dark thoughts are what makes you think different.”

“I was horrible then, and I still have the potential to be during this journey,” you said looking away from Aragorn, “I made someone jump off a cliff, and worst of all, I am a kinslayer. I am not called a kinslayer by others for nothing.”

“You are not who you think you are.”

At those words, you turned to look at Aragorn again, who was beginning to speak again. “Your past does not define you. It is a fact that not everyone will take your confession as well as I did, nonetheless I am glad that you chose to open up about this, even if it is just to me only, it is a sign of trust. I will be with you if you need if you wish to tell someone else, and I will even stand up for you if any of our companions belittle you for your past mistakes.”

For the first time in Lothlorien, you smiled. Those words touched you, you were grateful to have Aragorn by your side, and you made sure you were going to do the same, to be there for him whenever he begins to feel insecure about his bloodline, his relation to Isildur, or when he doubts his leadership abilities for becoming a king.

“Thank you, Aragorn. I did not know it until now, but I needed those words of comfort. I thank you again for your compassion.”

In that moment, Aragorn began to realize that if your past does not define you, then his own bloodline definitely doesn’t define him as well. He also realized that he had overlooked the great achievements Isildur accomplished in his lifetime, even if he failed to destroy the One Ring, he was the one who cut Sauron’s fingers off which was enough for Sauron’s defeat in the Second Age.

Then eventually, the unthinkable happened. Aragorn was proud to have the same blood as his ancestor’s run through his veins. 

He was proud to be Isildur’s heir.

-

Taglist: @moony-artnstuff @aspiring-ginger @kata1803

Time to talk about Lillith :)

So her being MC's ancestor in the story was... A bad choice, in my opinion.

And I don't hate that she was the one who revived MC, quite the opposite, that was a fine move. I like to think that it was to show that MC had a connection to all the siblings, dead or alive, hate or love. It's just...

Why are they (technically) related? What was the purpose?

That could sound mean, but if some of your playbase could call incest and (possibly) have a leg to stand on, it's a bit... Much, let's say. But, either way, there is an alternative that I like. (And one I made up, but that's besides the point.)

I like the idea that Diavolo lied to the brothers to keep the peace. To me, it makes sense, because:

He needs to keep the peace between the three realms, and y'know, one of the humans dying kind of prevents that. So, why not lie to them to make sure this never happens again?

It would also get to a quick resolution for the brothers, since I'm pretty sure that Belph was about to kill MC... Again.

Sadly, I only have two reasons, but you're smart, you can probably expand upon this.

Anyway, this might be a bit sloppy, but I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say.

Your Anonymous Color Coder,

Lesson 42 Anon

(P.S. I have issues with Lesson 16, 17, and 18. I say this just in case I want to rant about it. :)

So initially I wasn't the biggest fan of them being related, though when they first started hinting at a connection between Lilith and MC I had a "OH GOD. OH DAMN. PLEASE DON'T BE LILITH'S REINCARNATION" moment so finding out MC was just a distant relative was a relief but not one I was necessarily happy with? Because of all the "Is this technically incest!?" feelings I had at the time.

But it did grow on me? I think all the human au's I had roaming free in my head helped me get over it? When writing or thinking up human Aus I try to make them as close to the Canon situation as possible so it'd be:

The brothers and Lilith all living in a foster home with only Lucifer and Satan being blood related, but they all see each other as a found family. MC would be a distant (and I mean distant enough it equals to the thousands of years that separate Canon MC and Lilith) cousin who they don't even find out is related to Lilith until much later (after Lilith either leaves and joins a more permanent family or....well dies I guess).

The way I see it, it'd be the same as a group of "we're so close we see each other as siblings" friends wanting to date the distant/estranged relative of one of the group members.

So yeah, now I see the whole Lilith, MC, brothers thing as "Incest if I'm willing to reach so far my arm tears straight outta my socket" so yeah.

Though obviously it's completely valid if people are still uncomfortable with it.

ANXUSJWMNZRATQVX8 Belphie would have totally murdered MC if they didn't bring up the whole Lilith thing! And I'm so upset they all just get over it? Like damn I love Belphie no lie, but are we just gonna gloss over the fact that he was 110% okay with the genocide of the entire human race???????

I also have this headcanon that MC has chronic pain that flares up on and off after Belphie murdered them, cause remember how the ghost of the fortune teller,Gisella (?), on the train said you never forget the feeling of dying and MC had a pretty violent death so.....

I also HC that there are days, specially when the pain is bad, where they can't stand to be near Belphie and that while he was initially upset by this and was persistent about still being with them by around mid S2 or S3 he's learnt to identify those days and understand why MC can't even look at him then and he makes himself scarce and sleeps away the day in an out of the way dark, corner probably with Beel around for emotional support because honestly those days would hurt him as much as MC.

I like that in the Canon storyline that none of the brothers were 100% okay with Belphie right after Lesson 16 and how they went out of their way, more so than usual, to make sure MC wasn't alone with him? I maybe reading into that too much but I liked it..

And I mean generally MC's a very calm, collected, headstrong and stubborn character so as frustrating as it is I understand why they would want to help Belphie get along with the others again. "I died for this shit, so I might as well see it through" kinda mentality

I didn't initially like the two timelines cause it made me really sad imagining the one MC left behind and to ease that angst I always imagined since MC changed the past their original timeline -the future timeline- got erased with a new future unfolding. but someone on tumblr posted a headcanon with evidence on why they thought Barbatos joined the two timelines together so that they live with the extra day of memories and experiences that came from the original timeline AND I JUMPED THE HELL ON THAT BOAT & actually recently wrote something about it. Here have the link and some shameless self promotion cause I'm an attention whore:

Deadlines

"When Mammon meets his soulmate he's going to punch them in the face. It doesn't matter if he'll only find out who exactly his soulmate is when one of them is on their deathbed. He's still going to punch them."

Um anyway that's all my thoughts on 16, 17 & 18 (I think. There might be more that I can't remember at the moment tbh) and since I rambled to you about it you are now contractually obligated to rant to me about yours. Sorry, those are the rules🤷🏽

About the thing you said about Diavolo and his reasons I honestly have nothing else to add, I mean the reasons you gave make total sense and I'm okay with just what the canon gave too so

It wasn't sloppy at all! My rambles are always too long and all over the place!

Edit: I forgot! As to why they were related, yeah I don't think it was completely necessary but still I can see reasons behind it?

1. As a way to make MC other. A devilgram and a little line in S3 makes it seem like MC is neither angel, demon OR human. I HC that Lilith died right as she was changing from angel to demon making her one of a kind and that pure "Fallen Angel" magic came with her when she was reincarnated and then was passed down to MC.

2. How lilith's known as the mother of monsters in some myths and how MC is related to them... I just think it's neat. Plus MC has an insane amount of raw power - truly a monster in their own right

3. It's closure for the brothers. They never got to see Lililth as a human, never got to see her grow up, fall in love, start her own family. The last they saw her she was in pain and dying. They don't get to see if she was happy. MC's the closest proof they have to that. That she found love and had a family and was happy

4. It's closure for lilith. Just the fact that her spirit passed down from descendent to descendent along with her magic till she could see her brothers again just to see if they were happy and to tell them she had lived a long happy life. I don't know I'm really happy she was able to do that

5. The brothers find similarities between Lilith and MC but they're rare and 6 of the 7 brothers already liked MC before they found out about MC being her descendent. And even Belohie starts to like them as their own person. Just I always worry that they like MC just because of the connection between them and Lilith and that they see MC as a replacement but then U remember their Canon interactions and it feels like the brothers actually forget about that connection. MC is Lilith's legacy, they're living proof that you can be born in one world but find your true home in another, but they're not defined by Lilith. They're their own person. Even their magic is their own considering Lilith used the last of hers when she helped them in Lesson 15/16

Master Post for 2020

That is a wrap, folks! Here is the Master Post for 2020!!! Title: I Never Knew Artist: ncdover1285 Author: midnightsilver Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: drinking Summary: How can you know a person better than you know yourself but never know this? A drunken realization with a little help from a friend. (aka: ‘of course you two love each other, shut up and kiss already’) Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: Untouchable for Life Artist: angeltortured Author: sintari Other Pairing(if applicable): Sam Winchester/Jessica Moore, briefly mentioned Dean Winchester/OFC Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Sex Work, Angst (see more at AO3), Jess Positive Summary: When Stanford student Sam is desperate for rent money, his girlfriend Jess suggests he turn to camming. As his uneasy relationship with sex work progresses, Sam's "Top Fan," the lurker Impala67, leaves him conflicted.... and something else. Art: Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: Call of the Wolf Artist: tx_devilorangel Author: ncdover1285 Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: N/A Summary: Something is terrorizing a small town in South Dakota. Sets of siblings seem to disappear into the woods and never be seen again. What is being seen is a huge wolf that is lurking in the woods. Sam and Dean go to investigate. Will they figure out what is happening in this small town, or will they be another set of siblings that simply disappear? Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: a sad fact of modern life Artist: emmatheslayer Author: thelegendofwinchester Rating: G Warnings/Spoilers: N/A Summary: The boys make a YouTube channel with the intention to easily be able to spread knowledge to new hunters and help them out. It goes downhill within minutes, but that’s not always a bad thing. Art: Live Journal Story: Ao3 Title: Cock Tails Artist: ncdover1285 Author: angeltortured Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: drunk sex Summary: Sam gets drunk off of phallic-shaped drinks at a gay bar. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: Strap Your Hands 'Cross my Engines (Don't Mind Me, You Usually Don't) Artist: midnightsilver​ Author: nevergettingoverwincest Other Pairing(if applicable): Sam/Dean/Impala Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: N/A Summary: “Hold your horses,” the witch called when Dean pounded on her door. Sam and Baby were behind him, Baby craning her neck to look in one of the cottage’s windows. The door scraped open and the witch poked her head out. “Back already? Who’s this?” she added, looking at Baby. “This is my car,” Dean said, flatly. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: Darkness And Light Artist: shealynn88 Author: ncdover1285 Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Incest, M/M Summary: Sam and Dean are cursed and they are sent on separate journeys to figure out how to break the curse. Finding out that they may just get exactly what they have been longing for is definitely a bonus. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: Burn for You Artist: darklittleheart96 Author: storyspinner70 Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Dom/sub, Alpha Dean, Alpha Sam, Unusual ABO Dynamics, Possessive Dean Winchester, Dom Dean Winchester, Sub Sam Winchester, Bondage, Top Dean, Bottom Sam Summary: No one was surprised when both Winchester boys became alphas. The surprise came when Sam figured out that, while he might be happy to be an alpha, the only place eh really wanted to be was on his knees for his brother. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: Trust Me Artist: ncdover1285 Author: amypond45 Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Time travel, Humor, angst, Sam POV Summary: Stanford Sam travels back in time to the week after he left for college to show Dean how much he loves him. Art: Tumblr Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: Spellbound Artist: tx_devilorangel Author: theydraggedmeinowianintleaving Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Past Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Canon Compliant, Up til season 3, not entirely canon compliant though, Dean Winchester Dies, Dean Winchester is saved from Hell, No Apocalypse, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), the angels are good guys, or at least neutral, Jealous Sam Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester Friendship, endgame wincest, Dean's crossroads deal, John Winchester Dies, implied wet dreams, Canon-Typical Violence, Sam Winchester Dies, but only for ten seconds, implied soulmates Summary: Sam had always known they were outsiders; hadn’t needed the oh so helpful input from any Harry, Dick or Jane to realize as much when tv had already told him. Or maybe he hadn’t always known; had once been young (and perhaps innocent) enough to not know any better. However, he’d learned; from blurry images on tiny tv-screens whenever their dad found it necessary to rent a motel room for the three of them. On the screen everybody lived in houses rather than an old car driving from one end of the country and then back again over and over and over. Kids didn’t know how to use a gun – Sam might not yet be the marksman his brother was, but he knew how to use every single one in their dad’s arsenal; which was another thing the people on tv didn’t have: a goddamn arsenal of weapons. Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: The Human Trap Artist: bluefire986 Author: storyspinner70 Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Biker Dean and Sam, Violence, Aftermath of torture, Hurt Dean, Protective Sam, Revenge Summary: Dean and Sam Winchester were new to being the power behind The Knights of Hell biker gang, but they weren't new to the violence and pain that went along with it. They were working for a better future, but that was going to take muscle and brain and a lot of blood. Nothing worthwhile ever changed in a single day, but when Dean doesn't come back from a simple gun drop, The Knights worry that nothing will ever be the same again. Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: There Will Be Peace When You Are Done/I'll Come Back To You Artist: angeltortured Author: specialgentrin Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: Major Character Death, Season 15 AU Summary: This is it. The final battle against Chuck Shurley. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: No Retreat, No Surrender Artist: bluefire986 Author: smalltrolven Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: N/A Summary: After everything with Chuck is over, Sam and Dean move up to Rufus’ cabin in Montana, to finally retire. After the hunting life they’ve led, they know there’s plenty of people and monsters left out there that have a score to settle. All the monsters forgotten, memories avoided and choices made in the past make what happens next even worse. Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: Box Up My Heart Artist: txdora Author: levisqueaks Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: N/A Summary: Moving in with Sam had been perfect. They were living the life at Stanford with the world and their futures spread before them for the taking. But sometimes Sam was swallowed up in pain, whiskey, and knives instead of sweet dreams. One day Jessica stumbles across a secret Sam had been hiding for years and the darkness that takes over him begins to make sense. Especially when they get an unexpected late-night visitor and she witnesses a secret kiss. Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: A Little Sugar Artist: emberthrace Author: hit_the_books Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Canon-Typical Violence, Dubious Consent, Season 2, Recreational Drug Use, Explicit Sexual Content (see story for full tags) Summary: People are dying bloodily in Red Bluff, California, and no one knows how. The only leads? A strange substance that may or may not be a narcotic and hints of sulfur, and the rumor that a local outlaw motorcycle gang may be involved. Heading out to Northern California on the hunt, Dean and Sam are going to discover feelings they've been hiding from each other for a long time. Art: Live Journal Story: Ao3 Title: Payphone Symphony Artist: emmatheslayer Author: levisqueaks Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Barely Legal, Wincest, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Older Sam Winchester, Younger Dean Winchester, Pining, Deception, Phone Sex, Dirty Talk, Sam Winchester is basically Dean’s Dad, Mechanic!Dean, Age Difference, Phone Sex Operator Summary: Sam Winchester never claimed to be a righteous man but he hoped that his good deeds could someday outweigh the sin in his heart. After all, what 35 year old man, who practically raised their younger brother fell in love with them? Sam finds a mysterious bill that sets off alarms. But when he overhears Dean greeting a caller using a known sex phone company’s name, Sam is tossed into a whirling sea of intrigue, deception, and longing. Can Sam redeem himself? Or will becoming Dean’s most loyal customer only drag him closer to hell? Art: Live Journal Story: Ao3 Title: Under a Blue Moon Artist: emberthrace Author: amypond45 Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: dubcon Summary: While hunting a lycanthrope, Dean gets bit. Sam figures out a cure, but he knows Dean won’t like it. Art: Live Journal Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: Spinning On That Dizzy Edge Artist: angeltortured Author: ratflavored Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Rough Oral Summary: Sam’s tearing himself apart to finish the trials, so Dean forces them to have a night to relax in what he considers the bunker. But there's things going on behind Sam's poker face that Dean can't quite figure out. Most of the time, Dean can let that sort of thing slide, but when he's loose with whiskey and mulling over memories, it's a lot harder. What does Sam want from him? Booze, memories, and cards make for a dangerous combo. Art: Twitter Story: Ao3 Title: Titans Remembered Artist: midnightsilver Author: klove0511 Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: Brief, non-graphic attempted bestiality; referenced animal sacrifice, hurt Dean Summary: Following a string of missing people and livestock mutilations, Sam and Dean stumble on a case where the monster has a personal beef with them. When Dean gets himself in trouble trying to do everything himself, Sam must come to the rescue and remind him that they're better as a team. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 | Tumblr Title: Wish Not Change Artist: kelios Author: smalltrolven Rating: R Warnings/Spoilers: spoilers for season 15 Summary: There’s a picture that Dean has in his wallet. It’s of the two of them, even though it’s not really them, but it’s still the stuff that wishes are made of. It takes a journey to New Orleans and back, a new case opened and closed, and wishes made and granted, for that wish to maybe come true. Art: Live Journal Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: Free Bird Artist: darklittleheart96 Author: merenwen76 Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: ExSlave!Dean, Hunter!Sam, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non, NSFW Art Summary: Written for the following prompt: Non-brothers AU, Sam (35 or older) is one of the best hunter, whose whole life has changed the day he rescued terrified and abused slave named Dean, who within the law is now Sam's slave... Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: The Boy Who Would be King Artist: sarasaurussex Author: annie46 Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: NSFW art, character death Summary: Without a soul Sam can be what he was always meant to be - King of Hell. He doesn't need Dean, or does he? Dean only wants to save Sam, or does he actually want more? Art: Tumblr Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: What Doesn’t Kill You Makes Us Stronger Artist: shealynn88 Author: ncdover1285 Other Pairing(if applicable): Dean Winchester/ others (mentioned), Sam Winchester/ Others (mentioned) Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Dark, M/M, Unknown Incest, Dark Winchesters Summary: Sam and Dean grew up in different ways, but seem to have quite a bit in common. Both finding their way to a life of killing and lies. It’s almost as if something is keeping one from killing the other though when they take the other as a mark. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: Moral Insanity Artist: midnightsilver Author: levisqueaks Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Crack, This Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time, Dean Winchester Wears Panties, Cowboy Sam Winchester, The Boys Film a Porno Summary: When Dean got down to it, this was all Sammy’s fault. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, but when Sam convinces Dean they should make money by filming porn rather than credit card scams, the brothers end up a little too close to the fire. Why did he feel like he was walking to the gallows? He loved porn. He was a fine curator of porn. Had been since his first skin mag at 13. So why was the thought of being behind the camera so nerve wracking? Once Dean’s eyes had adjusted to the darkness beyond the wall separating them from the storefront he found the director circling Sam. Like a shark. This guy was a shark. Or maybe a vampire? He was some sort of deadly with teeth that wanted to eat his kid brother alive. What the hell had they gotten themselves in to? Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: The Hawk and the Wolf Artist: kelios Author: fledhyris Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: N/A Summary: Two brothers, cursed for loving one another a little too closely, wander as knights errant, together yet forever apart. Their luck turns when Dean encounters a young thief, Garth, running from Winchester Cathedral with a stolen book. They have just one chance to meet the conditions for the spell to be lifted; will they win their hearts’ desire or be doomed to live out the rest of their lives under a cruel enchantment? Art: Live Journal Story: Ao3 Title: stumbling over universes Artist: kuwlshadow Author: embersdevine Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: Some sexual content Summary: Sam and Dean find themselves in another world. Again. But someone finds them and it sort of changes everything. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: Titanium (With You On the Edge of Every Tomorrow) Artist: darklittleheart Author: abeautifullie3 Other Pairing(if applicable): (all minor or passing mentions) Charlie/Eileen. Jody/Donna. Cesar/Jesse. OFC/OMC. Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: (full list at author’s LJ or AO3, here be the biggies) Spoilers through entire aired series…just to be safe. Semi-AU. Canon Divergence. A/B/O. Mpreg. Alpha!Dean. Alpha-to-Omega!Sam. A Few Instances of Gore. Graphic OC Deaths. Death of Not-A-Fucking-Lead Character. Graphic Deaths of Minors (not Sam and Dean's). Show Level Violence. Profanity. Graphic Sex. BDSM: A Bit of B…With Some D&S…No S&M. Pregnancy!Kink. Lactation!Kink. Pregnant!Sex. To Be Safe: Graphic Births. Kid!fic. Kinda-sorta Curtain!Fic. Kinda-sorta Fix-It!Fic. Angst. A Bit of Schmoop To Sooth. Summary: All the sigils, all the wards. All the hoodoo and white magic. All of the mystical safeguards they had in place, and yet there was one thing none of it could protect them from... Humans. Against the odds, Dean and Sam have built a life together aside from Hunting. With the help of a curse-turned-gift, they’ve even made their own family. Now, Sam eight months pregnant with his and Dean’s daughter, it’s all being threatened when Dean and their five-year-old son, Jameson, are abducted. It's perfectly executed. As if the kidnapper knows personal details about Sam and Dean's lives. Has knowledge – and access – to the bunker. Has been to their home. It's because she does and has. She's been training with them for over two years. Moved up in the ranks to both helper and friend. Hell, she's watched after Jameson for them. She's been biding her time. Now it’s Dean’s turn to bide his time, take care of his son as best he can while being held prisoner, keep them alive until Sam can rescue them. Which, if there is anything Dean knows for sure…Sam will save them. The weeks passing, stress taking its toll on Sam’s heavily pregnant body, with what little Sam and his people have to go on, what they’ve been able to piece together, he knows it’s up to him to find and rescue his brother and son from a sadistic psychopath who may be right in their midst. Semi-AU from season 6 finale. Some canon stuffs after that still happened. A helluva bunch didn’t…or played out differently. No time for significant “world building”, and not a primary focus, but this is A/B/O. Art: Tumblr Story: Live Journal | Ao3

⚠️SPOILERS for bnha, and the heroes rising movie⚠️

I have rarely voiced these opinions, but I think it's about time I did.

See, there is a fine difference between ships and what is more likely to be canon, for me at least. As of right now I do not believe that bkdk will come anywhere near to being a canon romantic relationship, not only because of the type of manga/anime bnha is but also because of the development and change that would need to happen in order for it to even be possible. For the type of manga, I also believe Izuku or Katsuki being with anyone of the same sex is also out of the question. Horikoshi has put two transgender characters (and supposedly a bisexual character) in his manga, yes, but I do not see us getting anything more than that.

I am a multishipper through and through however, and I ship almost anything you can name that isn't incest, pedophilia, or abusive. Kirideku, for instance, and Todobaku as well. I like those ships, I think they're very cute and make a lot of sense. The only ships I don't like (I won't name them) I dislike purely because of the people who ship them. The way they act completely disgusts me.

But let's take a look at why BakuDeku, in my opinion, is commonly misunderstood.

I think there are a lot of misconceptions about the BakuDeku ship, and I don't say this just because I personally ship it.

Katsuki

Season 1, as soon as Katsuki was introduced I hated his guts. I couldn't stand watching him bully Izuku, let alone telling him to go and jump off of a building. I wanted to reach through the screen and punch him myself. I don't take things like that lightly, and so I thought to myself I will never like this character. Even as time went on, season 2 and all the way up to season 3, I couldn't stand him.

He was an abusive person terrified of his childhood friend becoming something that perhaps he feared that he himself could not. He's disgusting towards everyone, showing only disrespect and arrogance.

When he was kidnapped is when things started to change for me.

Not just his reaction alone-- "Deku, stay back"--but also Izuku's. Izuku is one to forgive way too easily, in my opinion, but I doubt he forgives someone if he truly doesn't think they deserve it. So for whatever reason, Izuku thinks Bakugou deserves his trust and forgiveness.

If you look at it like this-- Izuku knowing Katsuki better than anyone else, not only from his observations but as well from his up close interactions with the other. Taking this into account, maybe Izuku knows something we don't about Katsuki. We know for sure his mother was borderline abusive--as seen from that conversation with Todoroki as well as just how she treats him--, but is that all? We can't know for certain, but it seems that Izuku might.

Let's say that none of that is true, let's go ahead and say that Katauki is just what he seems to be: an arrogant prick with a superiority complex. Even so it's impossible to say that he hasn't changed at all.

Take this scene for example. Just from this scene alone, from this one thing that he tells a kid he doesn't even know, you can see how much he's grown from when he was 14 years old.

This is turning into more of a Bakugou thing rather than a bkdk one, but hang in there. This is important too.

He has gone from believing that he is the best of those around him, thinking that everyone else will only get in his way, to recognizing that he has weaknesses just like everyone else. That in its self is a feat to be praised, but top that off with the realization that if he keeps putting others down he'll never see his own weaknesses and you've got one heck of a character development process. Granted, that won't be enough to make up for things he has done in his past.

So let's take a look at his past, shall we?

Raised in a home with, while loving, a push over father and a brash and aggressive mother. Whether or not she realized what she was doing, or even if she had been raised in the same way and doesn't see it as wrong, the way she yelled at him undoubtedly rooted something not short of some sort of trauma (disclaimer: I am no expert on trauma) into him. Not only that, but she probably pushed him to be better. Constantly; be better, you aren't good enough, you call that trying? So on, and so on.

Being told his entire life that his quirk is amazing, those around him letting him believe he is an undeniable leader, all of that has made him into what we see in the beginning.

Even before he got his quirk he probably thought he was better than those around him and that they also knew that, that they would follow him for protection or some sort of recognition from great power.

So, we have a 14 year old who thinks the world eats out of his hands. He sees Izuku, quirkless Izuku, as something not worth his time. Someone as great as him has no reason to play around with someone as worthless as Deku.

There is obviously the hinted at miscommunication, as shown during the Deku vs Kacchan 2 fight. The fact that apparently Katsuki sees everything Izuku does as looking down on him, mocking him, calling him weak and so on.

As a person who struggles with this, I can assure you it really is hard to tell the difference between someone genuinely wanting to help and secretly saying they don't think you can do it. Obviously I realize not everyone looks down on me, but because of the need to be independent and to prove myself to those around me, it feels like every outstretched hand is going to burn me when I grab it. Katsuki is far worse in that regard than I am, so I can only imagine how hard it is to admit to himself that someone is offering help and not mockery.

So let's say this entire time, their entire lives spent together, Katsuki has seen Izuku--someone who was quirkless--as one of the many people who doubts his abilities. Of course he's going to treat him worse than he treats others, but none of that makes it okay. None of that, any of this, erases what has been done.

That being said it does create a bridge for his redemption, for a deserved forgiveness, and yes I truly do believe he will earn that forgiveness.

It's going to take a long time for him to grow into the fact that accepting help doesn't equal to accepting defeat, and that offering it doesn't equal to the belief of weakness.

Katsuki, in my opinion, started to see his faults around the time be befriended Kirishima. Kirishima is strong, so obviously Katsuki is going to want him on his side, but there is more to it than that. I truly believe that Kirishima sparked the change in Katsuki, or at least held the match for the flame to be sparked.

Kirishima and Katsuki's friendship is what I imagine Izuku and Katsukis's might have been like if Izuku had gotten a quirk, as that is all that mattered to Katsuki. He never cared much about the person attatched to the quirk, only how it might help him. Meeting Kirishima, a person who believes everyone is strong and that they can do anything they want with the resources handed to them, must have irritated the piss out of him. Another person who seemed to think that the weak could be strong.

Being around that kind of thinking will eventually rub off on you, however. Even off onto someone like Katsuki. Especially after seeing Izuku's potential with his own two eyes.

So all of those thoughts of Izuku being a weak nobody turned instead to thoughts of Izuku being a threat to him and his goal. It's better than the first, but it really doesn't do well for them being anything other than rivals.

So, right now in his character development process? BakuDeku even being friends seems like a far off thought.

So now, let's take a look at Izuku.

Izuku

His entire life he's been told by Katsuki that he is lesser, he will amount to nothing, he's completely worthless. That never stopped him from arguing, denying, or wanting to be a hero. Finding out he has no quirk didn't stop him, and being told he might as well die didn't stop him.

Izuku is a wonderful person with a huge heart, a heart that wants to save every single person it comes across, and a heart that sees the best in everyone around it.

He went from being someone in the background, never standing out or doing extraordinary things to a person who will stop at nothing to save one single life. He no longer lingers at the sides, or fears his own abilities. He strikes with confidence in himself, in his peers, teammates, and all of those around him. He uses the hearts of those he wishes to save as a boost to help him win the day.

Meeting Iida and Uraraka, and many other amazing individuals, helped him realize that there are people who believe in him and want to see him succeed. Not everyone will treat him like Kacchan, or only see him as being in the way.

Do I believe that he had to have resented Katsuki in some way for some amount of time? Absolutely. In fact, he might still.

Him forgiving Katsuki wasn't out of the others development at all. It was out of his own achievements, his own confidence, that he was able to come past all of that negativity and believe in himself as a hero. For that reason, he was able to at least not hurt from what Katsuki done to him, if he hasn't yet forgiven him.

Sadly I don't have a lot to say about Izuku's development, or his thought process, but I do know that Katsuki has always been his image of victory, and I do now believe that he can finally see himself as his own image of victory. Or at least, more than just his tormentor.

Heroes Rising

I want to talk a little about the events of heroes rising, dispite it not being a canon part of the universe. It has been said that the movie was what Horikoshi imagined the end of bnha to be, and that is what I'm going with here.

In the movie Katsuki is still his usual superior self, treating Izuku the same as he always has. When there is no immediate danger, and even during a fight neither of them expected to walk away from. Now this may be do to Horikoshi changing it to fit more into just an alternate period of the present instead of perhaps a more time skipping version, but I am not aware of that being false nor true.

Even so, Izuku showed the same amount of care for every individual person as he always does. Katsuki on the other hand, he seemed to care just a little more than his typical self.

Even going as far as to use Sero's actual name when he's calling out, concerned for the other.

Especially, in the way he treated Izuku suggesting giving him one for all just so they could win the battle.

They both knew what this would mean for Izuku, and it's pretty obvious Katsuki didn't want to do it at first, but he's not clueless. He knew that Izuku was right, without two one for all's they and everyone on the island would have died. Throughout the process never once does he say anything about himself, he's only ever concerned about what would happen to Izuku and about saving the island.

Izuku was willing to give up his dream for an entire island, because that is his dream. His dream is to save lives and become the greatest hero, and saving an entire island is exactly that. He trusted Katsuki because he knew All Might would, and if All Might would trust this quirk with a person such as Katsuki, clearly others besides us, Katsuki and Izuku can see his development.

Their Relationship

Now, in regards to the actual conversation of misconceptions. I do believe that at first glance, that being not taking into consideration home life and miscommunications among these two in their own time, any sort of romantic relationship for these two would be seen as abusive. Because right now, if they both weren't more busy with training to be heroes rather than relationships and for some reason decided to be together, that's what it would be. Katsuki has a lot of things to sort through in his own head, and after he gets that settled they both have a long road to being able to be anything close to friends.

So being rivals is the best for them at the moment. They are each others core motivation, the reason they push and push themselves even when there's nothing left to push. Which over time is going to build a strong connection, more than what they have.

Eventually I do believe they could be friends, a hero duo is even more likely as they've already proven just now as training heroes that they work well together.

That being said if anything romantic were to come of it, it would be in a much later date.

Another misconception might be that bkdk shippers either ignore the way Katsuki has treated Izuku or just don't see it at all, which may very well be true about a lot of younger (or even older) people who might just see their rivalry as some sort of romantic tension. Which happens a lot in anime. However many of us see this ship and see the development, the huge development that will take place in order to be something more, and that is something we would absolutely love to see.

Shipping (for me personally)

I think that most ships in this fandom have good reasons for being shipped, and even if they don't as I've said there is a difference between shipping something and thinking it will become canon.

Personally, I think any ship becoming canon would ruin the manga. I see bnha as something that is perfect without any building romance, that being said a little background romance wouldn't hurt.

As far as relationships among the students goes, I'd hate to see any of them actually start dating. At this age, when they're doing things that are far more important, it doesn't seem like the right decision at all. That doesn't stop me from reading fanfictions, or looking at fanart, or saying that I ship two or more characters together. It's all harmless fun, until you turn into an Anti. I have absolutely no respect for antis and I severely hope they never interact with me.

In conclusion

I do not think that bkdk will be a canon ship in the mangas current timeline. That however, doesn't mean I can't ship them or think that eventually something could come of all of their character development.

Like it or not a good part of Izuku, his development, his personality, his dreams and life goal come from Katsuki. They come from knowing him nearly his entire life, from seeing him as a symbol of victory since they were kids and even up until now.

You can dislike bakudeku as a ship, you can ship other things and all that, but to deny that they aren't important to each others entire character-- and yes I do mean both of them, Katsukis's character also revolves a lot around Izuku--is to be blinded by your "hate" for the ship or even for Katsuki as a character. BakuDeku as a friendship/rivalship is way more important than as a relationship, and I think that's something everyone who loves either of them needs to respect.

The entire reason that they are were they are right now is because of All Might, their shared admiration for a strong hero for different aspects of said hero. That he never loses, and that he always saves everyone. Both traits make up their own respective heroes, Izuku and Katsuki happening to be opposites on that spectrum.

Their current existence thrives off of each other. Where they once looked to All Might for motivation, they now find it amongst themselves. As seen many times, when Katsuki asks Izuku "when are you going to hurry up and make that quirk your own?" You can choose to see that as him looking down on Izuku, but all I see is him wanting Izuku at his fullest potential so they can both give their all against each other, while at the same time with each other (though I doubt the second part is what Katsuki is thinking, those are just my thoughts.)

All in all, they push each other to be better, and I can't help but respect that.

(I'm sure there will be at least one person who will come around and reblog this just to say how much they disagree with me and why I'm wrong, so if you're that person I'd appreciate it if you just didn't. Your opinions are your opinions, but I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong so I don't want to see you telling me that. Thank you.)

posted on tue, Aug 25th

Finally another Azula Chapter!

Yooooo, I’m all done with the first two acts of the story now!  (Except for editing and adding on any new ideas, that is.)  And, as promised, here is Azula’s second PoV chapter.

WARNING: Non-graphic incest in the first part.

PAST

Flush with the excitement of the rally and freshly scrubbed, Azula was preparing for the audience with Father that she knew was imminent.  It felt good to be back in her armor; the red and pink outfit had been both pretty and practical, but simply didn’t offer the same amount of protection. On the outside, she looked every bit the maiden warrior-princess.  However, her inner layers were not nearly as modest.

Shiza made her patented frown as Azula rejected her usual bindings in favor of Daddy’s favorite pair of lingerie.  Azula was fairly certain that Shiza had known about their secret relationship for some time; it would be hard for her not to since she was the one getting Azula ready most of the time.  However, they appeared to have reached a silent agreement that they would both pretend she didn’t know.

The knocks on the door came at the perfect time, just as Shiza was putting the makeup knife away. So it was Father who wanted to speak with her first, then.

“Are you…will you be all right?” Shiza asked tentatively as Azula turned towards the door. What an odd question.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” she replied.  

The throne room was empty save for herself and the Fire Lord…just as it had been when he’d sent her on this mission over three months ago.  Azula stopped a respectful distance away, knelt, and pressed her forehead to the floor.  Even when she raised her head, she remained kneeling with her eyes downcast, only daring to look up when she heard him part the flames.  

“The conqueror of Ba Sing Se,” Father said.

Azula would have liked to bask in the praise, but knew exactly what she was expected to say. She made a noise of demurral before responding, “I would never have been able to do it if I hadn’t had such a wonderful teacher.”

“Indeed,” Father replied, slowly walking down the steps.  His nearness made Azula quake in her boots, and not entirely out of fear. But she couldn’t think about that now.

“And your brother slayed the Avatar,” he continued, tugging on his beard.  “I was surprised.  I didn’t think he had it in him.”

How was she going to make this story believable?

“I didn’t either,” she began, trying to stall for a few seconds to think up the details.  “I was busy fighting the waterbender.  But then the Avatar was preoccupied, and Zuko saw his chance and took it.”  Should she say he used lightning?  No, that would be stretching credulity a bit too much.  “Fire blast straight to the back.  It was so precise and powerful that the Avatar never even knew what hit him.  And if that didn’t kill him instantly, the long fall to the ground certainly did.”

There.  That seemed to be an acceptable enough fudging of the truth.  She didn’t mention that they still hadn’t got official confirmation that the Avatar was actually dead, which was making her a little nervous.

“Wonderful,” Father proclaimed.  The story appeared to have passed his muster, and Azula made an internal sigh of relief.

“I take it that you received my dispatches about the intelligence I gathered?” she inquired.  Father smirked.

“Yes.  They’re planning an invasion during the eclipse. How precious.”

Azula allowed her face to relax the tiniest bit, and said, “I have no doubt that they think they’re the first people to ever try such a thing.  The Earth King sang like a sparrowkeet about their super-secret plans without me even having to try. I wish you’d been there to see for yourself; you would have loved it.”  Those idiots. They would have had increased security measures that day regardless.  

Father gave a shout of laughter so loud and sudden that even Azula was startled.  

“So do I!” he exclaimed.  “But let us discuss that a little later, shall we?  There are other matters I would like to attend to first.”

And just like that, Father became Daddy, and Azula adapted accordingly.  She knew from years of experience how to change her entire demeanor in the blink of an eye.  As she tugged her hair out of its topknot and let it fall freely down her back, she allowed her expression to soften, looking up at Daddy through her eyelashes while biting her lip.  

“What a brilliant idea,” she said, voice changed from formal and measured to almost a purr.  This had exactly the effect on Daddy, who ran over, picked her up, and slung her over his shoulder.

“Ohh,” she whispered into his ear.  “Unhand me, you brute.”

“Do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to find a replacement for you all those months?” Daddy growled as they left the throne room and began what seemed like an unbearably long trip to his rooms.

Azula really didn’t want to think about who might have been her replacement.  Instead, she giggled and said, “I can imagine.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first time did hurt, a little bit, but that was to be expected, and nothing that Azula couldn’t handle.  The second time, Daddy wasn’t in such of a big rush, so he could help make it feel good for her, too.  After he had been thoroughly satisfied–twice–he was ready to talk strategy again.  Azula always felt a little uneasy when he did this, because she wasn’t sure how to categorize this.  It was sort of in between Father and Daddy; he expected her to be all business when she didn’t have a stitch of clothing on.  

“The Avatar may be dead, but his friends will be out for revenge,” she told Daddy.  “They should not be taken lightly.  The waterbender has improved significantly even in the time I’ve fought against her, and rumor has it that the earthbender has somehow figured out how to bend metal.  If that is true, our bunker is no longer impervious.”

Daddy frowned. “That is unfortunate.  So you think that those two are our biggest threat? We will put the best of the Royal Guard at the main entrance, then, to neutralize them immediately.”

“Actually…no, I don’t think that,” Azula clarified.

“Then who is?”

Azula felt a smile tugging at her lips as she said, “The nonbender boy, believe it or not.  His name is Sokka.  He’s the brains of the group, and apparently the one who, um, figured out how to take down the drill.”  Maybe not the best idea to remind Daddy of that.  She rushed on, “Get into his head, knock him off-balance, and their entire plan will fail.”

“And you believe that you know how to do that?” Daddy asked.

Azula’s smile widened.

“I do,” she said simply.

PRESENT

She was prepared for every eventuality.

Well, maybe not every eventuality.  She supposed that perhaps they would figure out how to make a replica of her drill. Or…or maybe they’d make a giant walking suit of armor that shot energy beams so powerful that they could annihilate anything in their path.

Actually, that last one was an intriguing idea.  She’d have to remember to write that one down later.

But those were exceedingly unlikely scenarios, and she knew it.  Without the Earth Kingdom’s resources, there was no way that they would have the wherewithal to make such powerful weapons.  She was still prepared for every plausible eventuality.

Azula was quite confident that the Avatar and his friends would be heading this way.  War Minister Qin had been instructed to misdirect them, and that was a simple enough task that she thought even he couldn’t mess it up.  Everything was ready.  She had her Dai Li as backup, perched in the rafters. (Really, she wished she could have had Mai and Ty Lee with her as well, but they were sheltering in their own homes.) The past several weeks, Azula had been occupied with perfecting her nonbending fighting and evasion skills.  She’d had Ty Lee give her some pointers, and even considered getting her lover to chi-block her to mimic the effects of the eclipse (all her research indicated that said effects were not pleasant). However, she had ultimately decided against it. That might set an unfortunate precedent, after all.

Speaking of which, she thought that the effects were kicking in now.  It wasn’t so bad if one knew to expect them; mostly a sensation of cold and mild nausea.  Everything was muted this far underground, anyway.

Then…footsteps and shouting outside.  Qin had succeeded in his deception.  She adjusted her posture so she looked exactly the right combination of threatening and casual.  As the doors were blown open with a gust of wind, she smiled.  

“So, you are alive after all,” she said, just as she had rehearsed in the privacy of her bedroom countless times. “I had a hunch that you survived.  But it doesn’t matter.  I’ve known about the invasion for months.”

The look of shock on the trio’s faces (the waterbender girl wasn’t with them; too bad) was quite possibly the most gratifying thing that Azula had seen in her entire life. Did they perhaps think of her as some sort of supernatural entity with psychic powers?  She was happy to let them continue believing that.  The somewhat more mundane truth was, they hadn’t been quite as good as hiding as they thought they were, and she had received intelligence from multiple islands about a group matching their descriptions.

“Where is he? Where’s the Fire Lord?” the Avatar demanded.  Did he honestly think she was going to just tell him?

“Mm.  You mean I’m not good enough for you?  You’re hurting my feelings,” she said as she stood up, letting the barest hint of the voice she used for Daddy seep through.  She would do whatever it took to keep them distracted.

“Stop wasting our time and give use the information,” Sokka demanded, gesturing with his sword.  He’d caught on quickly, just as Azula had expected. “You’re powerless right now, so you’re in no position to refuse.”

Pfft. Look who’s talking.

The earthbender (her name was…Toph?) added, “And stick to the truth.   I’ll be able to tell if you’re lying.”

“Are you sure? I’m a pretty good liar,” Azula answered. Quickly casting around in her head for the most ridiculous statement possible, she said, “I am a four hundred-foot-tall purple platypus bear with pink horns and silver wings.”

It took no effort at all.  Every successful member of the Fire Nation royal family learned to lie almost as soon as they could talk.  When one was in such a high-stakes position, wearing one’s feelings on one’s sleeve could be deadly.  Zuzu had learned that the hard way.  

“…Okay, you’re good, I admit it,” Toph said.  Azula managed to not so much as even flinch as the earthbender trapped her in a column that went up to her chin.  “But you ought to consider telling the truth anyway!”

So far, everything was going exactly according to plan; it was almost too easy.  By Azula’s mental count, about two minutes had passed since the start of the eclipse.  All she had to do was to continue to occupy them for six more.  

Azula and the Dai Li had agreed that the latter would make their presence in the room known as soon as Toph tried earthbending for the first time.  Right on cue, the column binding Azula crumbled into nothing.  Her trio of adversaries looked flabbergasted again; Azula could almost hear them thinking, “Wait…she can earthbend?!”

“When I left Ba Sing Se, I brought home some souvenirs…Dai Li agents!” she explained.

The fight that followed was more an amusement than anything else.  At last, Azula got to show off the results of her extensive practice. No matter what obstacle they might throw at her, she could leap, jump, or flip through it.  It was rather like what she’d always imagined that airbending would feel like; sometimes, she looked at Ty Lee’s gray eyes and wondered.

Finally, Sokka realized how much time had passed, and told the other two to stop attacking.

“She’s just playing with us.  She’s not even trying to win this fight!” he said, a note of panic creeping into his voice.

(If he thought Azula hadn’t noticed how his eyes raked over her body as she flew past him, he was deluding himself.)

“Not true!  I’m giving it my all,” Azula informed him.  Technically, this wasn’t even a lie, since she didn’t specify what “it” was.  They bickered a while longer, accusing her of wasting their time when they were doing a perfectly good job at it themselves.  Then Sokka got them back to their senses again, and the three of them turned and started walking away.

“It’s a trap.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Azula said.  There were only a couple of minutes left in the eclipse now; she doubted that they’d reach Father in time even if they did know the way.  And if they blundered their way into one of the rooms surrounding his…it would not be pleasant for them.

“Ignore!” Sokka urged them as they continued walking.

It was time.  She’d been looking forward to this moment for the whole fight.

“So, Sokka’s your name, right?” she began.  “My favorite prisoner used to mention you all the time.”

He halted, turned his head back to look at her.  She had him.

Azula continued, “She was convinced you were going to come rescue her.  Of course, you never came, and she gave up on you!”  As his face crumpled, she felt a surge of triumph and…something else?

Had she thought that her trick with the dagger was going to work?  Not really.  Things would be more convenient for her that way, of course, but it would have put this part of her plan to a disappointingly premature end.  In any case, Toph disarmed her and threw her against the rough stone wall hard enough that Azula was certain it would leave a nasty bruise, and Sokka had her pinned before she could retaliate.  

“WHERE. IS.  SUKI?!” he snarled.  Oh, did he think that Azula had tortured his little girlfriend?  She was happy for him to continue thinking that.  Father would have used torture, yes, but Azula didn’t see the point of resorting to it when there were other, more subtle ways of getting what she wanted.

She continued to smile down at him, saying nothing, and couldn’t help but notice that his Fire Nation topknot suited him well.  So did that primitive…thing that passed for a military uniform with the Water Tribe barbarians.  That darker blue was definitely his color; he should wear it more often.  

“Where’s Suki?” Sokka repeated, interrupting her musings. “Answer me!”  The Avatar tried to get him to back off, but he didn’t listen. “Where are you keeping her?!”

Azula simply smiled even more.  Making him angry was so…so…wait.  Was that just her feeling the eclipse about to end, or was her body responding to him?  Daddy had had her against walls, many times, and often as enraged as Sokka was now.  That was all it was.  Still…if she managed to take Sokka prisoner as well, maybe she could…

No.  Daddy wouldn’t allow that.  And even if he did, it was a stupid idea.  Thankfully, before her hormones could come up with any further less-than-brilliant schemes, Azula was bailed out by the sound of a large explosion coming from the general direction of Father’s room.  She could feel her own power resurging as well.  

“Oh!  Sounds like the firebending’s back on!” she said in faux-surprise.  She had herself freed within a few seconds, and generously informed her opponents of her father’s location.

Azula felt elated as she ran out of the room.  Her plan had been a complete success; Father would be so happy when he heard.  She didn’t have any time to check in with him, though; she had to hurry onto an airship to make sure the Avatar and his friends got out and stayed out.

…Right after she found a bathroom.

Hello, hello! This is the first time I’ve put something out like this- ANYWAYS, my name is Vy. I’m 22 (turning 23 pretty soon), I go by pronouns they/she, I’m in an MFA Creative Writing program, I'm in the EST time zone, and I love, love roleplaying. Been doing it on-and-off for six years on Tumblr now and writing for ten years now. This summer I’m generally going to be free, but when I’m in school you can expect at least one response a week from me. After doing indie rp for years, I’d like to try my hand at 1x1 rp and maybe to find a long term partner I can write with as well!

I’d prefer it if my partner(s) were also 21+ since I tend to write about the darker aspects of life. 

Okay, now onto the RP stuff:

Style: Honestly, I like to think I’m pretty flexible? I personally prefer multi-para (200-500 words) and para threads, but I also love the occasional spontaneous RP that can happen through the chats. Para threads I’m more likely to respond to more frequently than multi-paras though. Writing can be exhausting.

I’m OC/OC interactions only. Not really comfy with writing canon characters.

Communication: It’s a necessity :D I usually find having some kind of a friendship with the other person does wonders for my inspiration. I tend to be kind of shy though, but don’t let that stop you from coming into my messages!! We can talk about anything although at the beginning I’m more inclined to keep the chatting more to rp plots and character headcanons until I get comfy. I will note though, there are days and times when I just won’t be up for chatting- when that happens, I might disappear for a day or two. I promise I’ll get back to you in 24-48 hours max. I’ll be patient with you. This is a hobby after all.

If any problems arise or something makes you uncomfortable or even you’ve just lost interest in a plot, please, please talk to me. I’m always open to critique and will appreciate it if you give me some. Ghosting hurts too.

Plotting: I love, love plotting! Even though this is a hobby, I do get very enthusiastic about epic storylines and memorable characters and character arcs.  If we plot something out though, please know I’m expecting us also to write it out whether it’s formally or informally. I’m really looking for someone who has that same enthusiasm and consistency. I’d say I’m more of a few plots but deeper development kind of writer. Also I really like doing angst. Well, a balance of angst and fluff.

Ships: Ships are pretty great- that being said, I’m here for chemistry and development first. I’m here for build-up and as far as I’ve seen my characters, I tend to be more on the slow-burn side of things. I personally am more comfy with M/M and F/F, but I’ll do the occasional M/F too. Nonbinary and trans muses are more than welcome too. I also love, love doing platonic and familial ships too. PLEASE I’LL GIVE MY RIGHT LEG FOR THAT GOOD PLATONIC SHIT.

I can double! Well, I’ve never done it before, but I have had multimuses with muses of all genders and ships of all kinds if that’s counts for something.

Characters: So I have a lot of pre-made OCs already with character arcs I’d love to write my way through. But within the plot, the most important thing for me is character development based on interaction. When it comes to making muses, I do tend to be more on the slower side, but on the flip side, those muses will have extensive backgrounds. If you’re looking for someone to help you with exploring the full depth and possibilities of a character, please sign me up! Please note also, all of my OCs are queer and a majority are POC. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, misgendering of any kind will not be tolerated.

While I do have faceclaims for my characters (and the ones I’d make), it’s not the most important thing to me. I’m here for content and personality.

Smut: I can do it- actually I’d be looking for ways to improve my smut writing. That being said, I’ll only do it if it contributes to the character and plot development. We can also always just fade to black as well. In terms of positions, I’m more used to writing the ‘submissive’ role, but consider me a switch. A lot of my muses are switches as well.

Limits: A hard no on rape scenes, non/dub-con scenes, incest (that includes relatives who are not related by blood), and toxic relationships. They can be referenced and alluded to in the past though.

Genre: I’m not really a high fantasy kind of person. I can do urban fantasy though- for the most part, my main focus is going to be character interactions, character dynamics so you might say my cup of tea is generally slice-of-life with a hint of magic thrown in. But I’m always down to try new things- except for high fantasy, I apologize.

Basically: Urban Fantasy, Supernatural, Slice-of-Life, Historical- the important part is that it’s character driven.

Plots: At the moment, I’m kind of sucked dry, but I’m more likely to be down to try whatever you throw at me! Or just introduce me to your OCs- I’ll most likely want to introduce mine and we can go from there!

Fandoms: I know I said I’m not comfy with writing canon characters, but it doesn’t mean we can’t throw our muses in those universes! Fandoms I’m familiar with include:

Shadowhunters, Harry Potter, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles, ATLA, MCU, Harvest Moon, Fire Emblem, Studio Ghibli, and Pokemon. I’ll list more if I think of any.

Method: I’ll do discord, email, or Google Doc! Maybe in the future I’ll try my hand on Tumblr as well again too.

Congrats, you made it through the whole thing. If you’re interested, please hit me up either on discord or by email- I look forward to writing with you all!

Sincerely,

Vy

Discord: letscallitvy#0074

Email: [email protected]

Ok... so I started Sanditon, I’ve only watched one episode so far and I do want to watch the rest because it’s pretty and Theo James is just so lovely to look at and him is period dress is worth it for me. But... I don’t particularly like a few things about the writing and I wanted to post about it even though literally no one cares or is going to read this but here we go. (needless to say spoilers below)

I get the vibe that someone pitched this and went  “It’s Jane Austen... BUT EDGY/SEXUAL!” -_- which, idk isn’t my fav. Like episode one already has a brother sister incest thing going, which is just not for me. Sorry, it’s gross and I already don’t like the way they’re framing it as cool and edgy and wow isn’t is sexy that this brother and sister and totally into each other?!?! No, no I’m sorry it’s really not. That same dude, is also off getting hand jobs (like episode 1 ya’ll for heavens sake) which is seen by the protagonist at a distance. Because they need to go “see, look Jane Austen but EDGY/SEXY” because bad boy either coerces nice girl into sexual favors or she’s into, we don’t know, but either way look HE IS BAD BOY. As if him making eyes at every single female and salacious comments towards and about them, while also being into his own sister wasn’t enough of a hint that he’s gross, we needed to actually SEE him be bad boy right away in episode 1.

It also drops hints that Sydney is maybe bad boy too, oh look, Darcy but edgy! He’s had trouble with women according to his sister-in-law, whose apparently now close enough to Charlotte, who she met a week ago, to tell her all her personal concerns about the love life of her brother-in-law. That’s a lot of unsolicited personal info to a girl you hardly know, but ok.  He’s apparently got a past with Miss Lamb and she can’t stand his guts, and then we’re TOLD this again because showing it wasn’t enough, that she had to leave London because of an unsuitable romantic relationship. Which they want us to infer was Sydney when I think it more likely she was with some guy who Sydney didn’t approve of and he broke them up and that’s why she hates him. But they want us to think it was him and that he’s the edgy bad boy when he’s really the galant good boy. (a trope I’m totally fine with, it’s just the execution in this that I find annoying, you don’t need to hit me over the head with this stuff. But that would take more time and better writing to sprinkle things in instead.)

Idk for me a main reason I love period drama is generally the writing tends to be a bit more intelligent. It doesn’t pander to me or feel the need to both tell and show me every single little bit of story being told, but leans more in slowly showing and building to the important character beats and developments. This feels like the writers don’t trust the audience to understand the story and so they felt the need to make giant neon signs and wave them in front of your face going DO YOU GET IT, DO YA? That man is bad. That woman is bad. That woman is Elizabeth and that one is Darcy... oh wait no... lets make it edgy IT’S EDGY LOOK SEX and INCEST and MORE SEX.  And again, I am making these judgements off of only one episode, so it’s possible things will improve? but I’m feeling like the writing of this is just going to be subpar at best, and that’s fine I guess I can suffer through that for the pretty.