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fanby-fckry · 21 days

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You know what, I’m just gonna say it. I think that Alastor being aroace is part of the reason he’s so shippable to me.

Before you come at me, check the flag in my pfp; I’m aroace-spec.

Maybe it’s me projecting, maybe it’s because I love exploring relationships through an aroace lens, but goddamn. I ship him more than any other character and every time I do, his aroaceness is a major component in the ship.

Examples below the cut because it’s gonna get long:

📻🍎 || RadioApple:

There are so many versions of this dynamic and I am here for all of them.

We have the pre-canon kinky QPR that I show in UH3. I could talk about that all day, but to summarize:

Aroace x genuinely respectful allo is a dynamic that heals my soul.

Lucifer is less tied down by human constructs like amatonormativity, having never been human himself.

The Devil values consent.

Kinky cannibalism, kinky cannibalism, kinky cannibalism, kinky ca- *I am removed from the stage with a comically large hook*

Then we have the Evil and fucked up QPR dynamic:

And of course, trying to get along for Charlie’s sake and eventually bonding over their shared love of dad jokes and musical theatre, both being violinists (yup, Alastor plays violin too, check the wiki) with niche hobbies/interests (ducks, furby organ) and accidentally winding up in a loving, healthy QPR.

📻🕸️ || RadioDust:

There’s something about an aroace and a sex worker who very rarely falls in love.

Angel would know that Alastor isn’t with him for sex, would know that he values Angel beyond his body.

With greyro Alastor, Angel and Alastor would both be inexperienced with romance, but in wildly different ways. Angel has never had a healthy romantic relationship and therefor tries not to fall in love. Greyro Alastor has probably experienced romantic attraction like less than three times in his 100+ years of existence.

And if Alastor never gains romantic attraction for Angel, that’s a whole other level to the dynamic.

It’s got some great angst potential with Angel wondering if he’s not good enough to love romantically or Alastor feeling guilty or confused as to Why It Hasn’t Happened Yet when he cares for Angel so deeply, and eventually it gets resolved with the two of them accepting that their attractions don’t have to match up for them to love/appreciate/care for each other and they smash the amatonormative relationship hierarchy as queer platonic partners.

Or, Angel’s just totally cool with it from the start because he’s spent decades in the kink scene and has potentially been exposed to more relationship anarchy than Alastor.

Kink and queerness have a great deal of historical and cultural overlap, and that includes aroace queerness. Because Angel’s had way more canon exposure to both, it’s possible he knows more about Alastor’s orientation than Alastor does, and I love the idea of Angel introducing him to terms or just being super chill about not labeling things.

📻♥️ || RadioHusk:

Drawing like 90% from pilot dynamic and headcanon on this. They’re just two old men. They get drunk and cuddle. Alastor is one of the few people who knows Husk can purr and takes advantage of this fact. Alastor considers Husk a friend in a fucked up, possessive way. Husk considers Alastor a pain in the ass, but does care about him on some level.

It’s Fucked Up and Evil QPR: Remix Edition.

And the versions where the author puts them through fanfic couple’s therapy and actually gets them into a healthy point in their relationship? One where Alastor no longer owns Husk’s Soul? *chef’s kiss*

📻🌹 || RadioRose:

For me, personally, this is an exclusively nonsexual, non-romantic ship. They’re besties; they’re QPPs. They’re married for the tax benefits and so that they cannot be forced to testify against each other in court.

Rosie knew Alastor was aroace before he did and rather than sit down and explain it to him, she decided to make ace puns.

📻💋 || RadioSiren: [edit, context here] RadioFemme

Ok, so this is entirely based on non-canon-compliant Lilith. Or, I guess, non-series-compliant Lilith. More of the old WOG stuff from the pilot era, with a healthy dose of headcanon for flavor.

I love the idea of Lilith and Lucifer having an open marriage; I love the UH3 style polycule dynamic.

Lilith being the original seductress and Alastor being aesthetically but not sexually or romantically attracted to her is very near and dear to my heart.

I’m an aroace with a voice kink who is aesthetically attracted to Lilith and I think Alastor is an aroace with a voice kink who would be aesthetically attracted to Lilith, ok?

📻📺 || RadioStatic:

I’m gonna be real with you, 90% of my interest in RadioStatic is in the one-sided version where Vox is a pathetic little incel simp and Alastor is either oblivious, mildly annoyed, or finds the whole thing hilarious.

Whenever there’s any reciprocation on Alastor’s part, I always imagine it being in a very aroace, very Alastor-esque way. He needs to be get something out of it completely unrelated to sex/romance. And he needs to be manipulative and sadistic in the process.

Whether that something is kink-related, a business transaction, or simply the quality entertainment provided by Vox being a cringefail TV-headed little bitch, I love to see it.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #radioapple #radiodust #radiohusk #radiorose #radiofemme #radiostatic #onewaybroadcast #fanby’s fuckery #osha violation #suggestive

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wires-and-hellfires · 1 month

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Hi could you do Alastor x Vox's sister that's staying at the hotel. Vox didn't know they were in hell and they are not a tech demon like him if this makes any sense.

Vox only realized it was his sister because unlike her brother who's good with tech she opposite like the best equivalent comparison I can think of is someone who's so bad at cooking that they could burn water.

Sorry for the long request you dont have to do it if you don't want to

look at how well you took care of me

Pairing: Alastor & fem! reader (queer-platonic), Vox & sister! reader

Description: Vox comes to the realization that he may have made a mistake... he can only hope it's not too late.

Warnings: The battle in episode 8, violence, murder, injuries, alcohol, Alastor as a warning in itself, Rosie being Rosie,

Author note: Hi hi! Thanks so much for the request!!! I don't write romantic relationships for Alastor, but I loved this idea so I hope a QPR is okay! The title is from "Whispers of Your Brother's Blood" btw. This was tons of fun to write and it kinda got away from me but hopefully it's okay.

Part 2 with a reunion coming soon!

Meeting Alastor was likely the best thing that happened in your entire life, including your time on Earth and in hell.

You weren't stupid. You knew how Alastor treated people, hell, how he used to treat you, and yet, somewhere along the way he showed you more kindness than anyone else.

You met through Rosie, which was likely the best way to come face-to-face with the radio demon.

Rosie found you when you first arrived in hell, and despite very obviously considering eating you, she saw potential of some sort. Perhaps it was your steady gaze or the way you gripped the broken glass in your bloody hand like a knife, but she took you in and showed you life in hell, even if you didn't share her... dietary choices.

When Alastor came for their weekly gossip session meeting, she introduced you two. At first, he seemed to disregard you. You didn't mind.

You did your best work behind the scenes anyhow.

Alastor mentioned a man from the Weapons District who had been speaking badly of Rosie, laughing that he was practically volunteering to be a guest on his broadcast. You could hear the static in his voice from your spot in an armchair across the room. He wasn't joking.

Which meant you had to act first.

Later that night, you bid farewell to Rosie with a smile, claiming you had errands to run, which to be fair, wasn't entirely untrue.

The man was easy to find thanks to Alastor's description. He reeked of cheap booze and tobacco, already drunk in the bar you tracked him to.

Sliding up to him with promises of "a good time" and more booze, he stumbled out of the bar after you, straight into the back alley.

He was dead within 10 minutes. A mugging gone wrong, they'd say.

How tragic.

During the next meeting between Alastor and Rosie, Alastor invited you to sit with them, much to Rosie's delight. And if his smile seemed a bit too knowing and he made a few jokes about drunks in dark alleys? Well, that could stay between the two of you.

And that's where it started.

Every visit, regardless of what you were doing, Alastor would ask if you'd like to join them. You three would chat over tea, sharing gossip and talking shit. You couldn't tell if he genuinely enjoyed your company or if he just found you entertaining, though you suspected those two things weren't too different with Alastor.

And when someone was a bit too careless with their opinion about Alastor in the bar you frequented one night? The radio demon didn't need to make an appearance, you would destroy that scum yourself-

The next day, Alastor paid you a visit personally.

In the parlour, he expressed an interest in your... skillset, laughing about how you worked in the darkness.

He offered you a deal for your soul.

Whatever care he had developed for you likely saved your life when you refused.

"Partners or nothing," you had offered. When his grin sharpened, you knew he was intrigued.

He was the flashy showman, broadcasting the screams of overlords and inspiring fear across all of hell.

And you?

You were the shadow on the wall, charming those who would be too stubborn or too afraid to usually talk, convincing them to give away the information you needed to build your empire further.

Those who knew of your existence understood the consequences of speaking out. The radio demon didn't take well to those who threatened you.

In a dangerously comforting way, it all felt far too close to your life on earth. Sure, you weren't killing nearly as much back then, but flirting for information, gathering secrets and destroying those who opposed you or those close to you?

Yeah, that was familiar.

Your brother would be proud, you thought.

Or maybe he'd be just as unappreciative as he was in life.

Half a decade at Alastor's side, the two of you taking the phrase "partners in crime" very literally.

As a show of trust, he once allowed you to help with a broadcast, as long as you promised to keep quiet. Admittedly, he quickly discovered your... less-than-ideal skills with technology, but you appreciated the thought nonetheless.

You relied on one another. You leaned on him and he would lean back.

And then he disappeared.

No goodbye, no warning at all, not even a body.

Just... gone.

After five years, you moved into an apartment in Cannibal Town, further isolating yourself. Finding work wasn't difficult, but you refused to use your skills for just anyone, and there were few people you trusted more than Rosie.

You arrived late one night, two years into working with Rosie. Setting the keys down on the counter, the dull buzz of static spread through the room.

Alastor was holding you before you even hit the ground, legs giving out in relief.

And yes, he wasn't the most physically affectionate demon, but for you?

For you, he could make an exception.

The hotel could wait until tomorrow. Tonight, he had apologies to make and a partner to comfort.

The next day, after Alastor pitched his ideal to the princess of hell, he brought in Niffty, Husk and you as help, and if everyone thought you were a soul under his command, well, it was easier that way.

However much you didn't want to admit it, you grew to care for everyone. Losing at cards with Husk, cooking lessons with Angel, sparing with Vaggie, watching musicals with Charlie, crafts with Niffty, failing at inventing with Sir Pentious...

And doing absolutely everything with Alastor. After his reappearance, you were reluctant to let him out of your sight, and the radio demon was all too willing to keep you close, even if Husk seemed concerned over it.

Which was probably why when Alastor tried to get you to leave during the night before the battle, you refused.

You could tell his desperation to keep you safe drive you out of the hotel by the static in his voice, his subtle requests turning to false threats and finally a plea that neither of you would admit to leaving his mouth.

"I'm a lot of terrible things, Alastor, but I am not disloyal. I will stand tomorrow with you and everyone else. You're not leaving me again."

And for the first time that you've met him, he lets it go. No further bargaining or attempts to trap you, just a sigh and "Whatever you want, my dear," with a tighter smile than usual.

The next day, everything goes to shit.

Alastor and Adam are fighting, with Alastor firmly kicking his ass.

Then Sir General Pentious yells to unjam a cannon near you, and while pushing random buttons and gesturing angrily, you scream, "I don't know how to use this shit!"

You don't see the VoxTech drone nearby recording everything for the Vee's future entertainment.

With your back turned, you cry out at the feeling of a spear slicing across your back.

The pain of the blow sends you stumbling forward into the side of the cannon, causing it to finally go off, turning the angel behind you into pieces.

The force behind the machine sent you crashing into the wall of the hotel next to Angel, who turned to you in shock.

At the sound of your pain, Alastor's focus breaks for only a second.

It's enough for Adam to gain the upper hand, breaking his staff in two and sending him to the ground.

As he fades into the shadows, he focuses on your energy signature and pulls you into the darkness alongside him.

Across hell, at the top of V Tower, Vox swore wildly at the screen.

What a fucking coward!

Alastor running away to die off camera had to be the biggest disappointment in his entire afterlife.

Scratch that, second biggest disappointment. Still a pretty big bummer though.

Saving the other views of the battle for later inspection, he and the other Vee's watched as Lucifer slammed Adam into the dirt in delight.

It was 3 hours after the extermination was cancelled that he found the footage of you and the cannon. Of you hitting the wall and disappearing, but you're not dead, you can't be dead oh please not again-

How long have you been in hell? He assumed that you had been killed permanently before he arrived in hell after you, or maybe you'd even been sent to heaven, despite your sins. If anyone deserved to be forgiven, it was you.

But no, no no- You'd been here, the whole time, in that stupid hotel with fucking Alastor-

Vox's fans speed up in an attempt to keep his whole system from crashing.

Your appearance had changed, sure, but he would recognize the sight of you cussing out technology anywhere.

He would recognize his little sister anywhere, even in death.

This was all his fault.

You and Vox grew up close. Always the two of you, there could be no one else, the sheltering of your parents ensured that.

Over time, Vox's mastery of technology grew, and so did his influence. When he needed someone he could trust to keep things clean and running in the background, you were the obvious choice.

He took you for granted, Vox knew that now. You had argued about something stupid before a job one night, he couldn't even remember what he said, only that he went too far. When you left to go do some "clean up" for a previous situation, he resolved to properly apologize for once when you got home. And to say thank you. He wouldn't forget this time.

But you never came back.

You were found shot dead in an alleyway by a couple of employees from a nearby bar later that night.

Did Vox send you on a job that was too much for you? Were you distracted from the argument?

Either way, it was his fault you were dead. His fault the one person he loved, his baby sister, lay in a casket.

It didn't take long for him to get put into the ground himself.

Arriving in hell felt like a second chance. He would find you and everything would be alright again.

And yet, you were nowhere to be seen.

The drones around the hotel (or what was left of it) circled, scanning for a sign that you were there. That his ignorance hadn't killed you for a second time.

On the screens, the clean-up of the rubble continued.

Vox twitched.

Vox hadn't prayed since he was a child in the front pews of the neighbourhood church. Back when purity was still an option and repentance was unnecessary.

Now, he didn't know who he was pleading to. Does God listen when demons pray?

Please. Please, let her live. Let Alastor have saved her. Let me make this right.

Please.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #vox x reader #alastor & reader #alastor x reader

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inlocusmads · 10 months

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So fricking sick of acephobia in the year 2023. I'm not even on Twitter but to read all of that shit, I'm convinced this Twitter mob will only expand and I fucking hate it so much.

Are we still negating aspec people's struggles? That corrective rape and forceful marriage doesn't exist? That asexuality is still treated as a fucking mental health issue? That NOBODY EVER TALKS ENOUGH ABOUT IT? That we're already excluded from a number of queer spaces because "lacking sexuality doesn't count" DESPITE HAVING A HISTORY OF THE DEFINITION DATING BACK TO THE 1800s?

That the law in several places go "marriage and sexual intimacy go hand in hand" that completely excludes ace people who'd like to marry, have QPRs or have a cohabitation partnership with someone?? That they're excluded from so many marriage related benefits?? Healthcare?? This inherent prejudice in the medical system??

And even if you do want to be alone and be awesome all on your own, you're shamed and shunned for it?? You're called harmful languages? Slurs? Like where does it stop?

Ace people, I love you guys and I hope you get a truckload of cake, garlic bread or whatever food, drink, book, thing that you prefer. Seriously. They should pay us for dealing with this shit EVERY FUCKING DAY.

#so fucking tired #tw rape mention #asexual #asexuality #aspecs yall are FUCKING AWESOME OKAY SERIOUSLY GO GET YOURSELF SOMETHING AWESOME OR BULLY SOMEONE TO DO THAT FOR YOU jk jk but you get it

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aromacaque · 4 months

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Something I don't think a lot of queer people understand because the aro/ace community is very online-oriented is how little people actually know about aromanticism.

I feel like if you're predominantly in queer spaces (especially online) then of course you have at least heard of aro/ace identities, but IRL I have only met like 2 other aro people. Ever. In my entire life. Most people I meet tend to only know a little bit about it, or more than likely know nothing at all. Most people I meet have never met an aro person ever in their life (that they know of), and it Really shows. Because I think generally speaking most people know of other sexualities and trans people to some degree (i.e. gay, bi, trans). If they don't they definitely know of them. But that's not the same for aromantic people. So whenever I talk about myself, unless I explicitly give the label out to them so they can have a word to associate with my "abnormalities" or the things they think are strange (or even wrong) about me, then they just stare at me like I'm an anomaly.

I have been stared at like an anomaly. I have had many moments with people where me just being vaguely honest about my love life (or lack thereof) has been met with confusion and discomfort from the people around me. Multiple times where I can tell people are uncomfortable and HAVE A PROBLEM with me for either offhandedly mentioning I've never had a crush or just not having much of anything to contribute to a conversation regarding that stuff.

I have also had people claim they could be the exception or that they could "fix me." From both straight and queer people by the way.

My entire existence challenges so much of these people's concept of how social conventions work and so they immediately pinpoint me as being different.

To add to this, that feeling of alienation is very present in queer spaces as well. Being the only aromantic person in the room of other queer people, who claim to be accepting, yet you're always the afterthought? If even thought of at all? That's.. not really acceptance, is it? I don't think so.

I could get into more detail with this but the gist is that I've always felt more comfortable in queer spaces as a trans person than I ever have been as aromantic.

I genuinely don't think other queer people actually grasp how alienating and oppressive socially the experience of being aromantic is. They just see us as "basically cishet" or "QPRs are basically just dating!" when that couldn't be farther from the truth. The way I experience attraction is fundamentally different to the majority of the population, cishet AND lgbt sexualities combined. And it's really annoying to be treated as if we don't ever experience prejudice due to it.

#aromantic #asexual #spin the wheel of: what did skull just remember and/or experience to make this post?

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dotster001 · 1 year

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Hi! Since Aromantic awareness week is almost around the corner, may I ask for some queerplatonic relationship headcanons with the dorm housewardens? Also your writing is amazing, wish I could write that well lmao

Queer platonic Relationship HC's

Summary: aro! dorm leaders with aro!gn!reader

A/N:Guess who can finish things on time! 😂 Also, I had to look up what specifically a QPR was..and low key...when I talk about the relationship I want on my non aro days...I think this is what I want. Anyway, happy aro awareness week! Whether you're a full time aro, or on a spectrum like me, I hope you take this week to feel valid!

CW:discussions of the internal gaslighting that comes with being aro and ace, because at least for me that's important to discuss.

First Years

His favorite thing to do after a long day is sit next to you and quietly do homework or paperwork together. He feels so safe just sitting with you. He likes to lean over and look at what you're doing, before making a comment or a suggestion. He likes when you do it too.

Another thing he likes to do is straighten your outfit. Before you go out for the day, he gives you a once over, then straightens your tie and your collar, and retucks in your shirt, before giving you a nod and sending you on your way. It gives him a giddy feeling when he sees you later in the day, and your outfits is still as crisp and clean as the Queen would want.

You got Trey's strawberry tart recipe when he graduated. When Riddle has a particularly bad day, you've usually already figured it out and are baking a tart for him. He comes into the kitchen and slumps on the countertop, and just watches you. It's one of the few times he lets his posture slip, and lets himself whine about things. Then when it's finished, he gets the first slice, and you both get to enjoy it together.

He's only a cuddler on bad days. So you both have your own rooms. But cuddling is never off the table if it's needed. On either of your bad days, you can go to the other's room, and silently slip in beside them.

His biggest thing is he wants to coparent a hedgehog with you. Since you're both aro in these HC's, he figures this is his best opportunity. You'll both fight for hours on a name before deciding on something like "Rosebud" or "Queenie". He wants to make sure it's healthy, but also can't resist giving it surplus of treats. If you try to put it on a diet, both of them are going to pout at you until you cave.

He uses you to keep his mother off his back relationship wise. When she needs him to attend an event, you dress to the nines and become the "perfect trophy spouse". Both of you are the "perfect married couple" and it makes her rich friends and her bugger off.

Romantic or platonic, he's always on the lookout for a cuddle buddy. When he starts the relationship, he's very clear that he wants you to be his real life body pillow. And maybe that's how the relationship started, both of you wanting cuddle buddies with no (romantic) strings attached.

His spell drive teammates really like you. Because it means Leona will actually play, and play well. For Leona, it means everything to him that someone sees him as important enough to come see him. It makes him feel loved and supported, which gives him the energy to play.

He'll drive you anywhere you need to go. You being there for him is everything, so he pays it back by giving you rides, and just showing up for you. It's only fair. You support him, he has to support you. No one is allowed to feel second, not in his house.

Never stops calling you herbivore, but it definitely becomes an affectionate thing. He's thrilled when you start to call him carnivore. Loves sarcastic back and forth with you, especially when you are using your nicknames instead of your names.

You made out once. It was because he was curious if he was capable of romantic feelings, and felt like if they would be for anyone, they would be for you. Obviously, you both got nothing from it, but at least you can say you tried if Farena gets too pushy about the specifics of your relationship. (He means well, he just gets excited when it comes to his baby brother)

He likes it when you stay with him when he works late. You don't even have to talk, just sit on the couch and read, or doodle, or nap while he finishes his paperwork. He likes to look over and see you doing stuff. He's not alone.

He wants cuddles, but he's self conscious about it at first. So you start out with two rooms. As he gets more comfortable with you, and learns you aren't going to tell him he was creepy and to fuck off, he starts to formulate a plan. He asks you to wait with him in his office, and waits until you fall asleep on the couch. Then he slips in next to you, and you both wake up snuggled together. He did this a couple times, until you got used to cuddling and just came to him in the night. Does he know it was manipulative? Absolutely! Does he have the confidence to be normal? Nope.

The two of you team up to trounce Idia twice as hard, in board game club. Azul spends way too much time planning strategies, and gives you a PowerPoint presentation before every club meeting with what he is going to do, and what you are going to do. Idia hates that there are two of you now.

Gets migraines sometimes, and is incredibly appreciative when you let him lay in your lap and massage his temples, or run your fingers along his scalp. The twins tease him for being "weak" with you, but when he's got a migraine he can't bring himself to care. Plus he knows you'll kill the twins for him. You're great like that.

He cooks for you a lot. He pretends it's to test out new menu items, but growing up with Mama Ashengrotto gave him feeding people as a love language. No matter what you look like, he's always worried you're too skinny. He's still too self conscious if you try to flip the tables on him, but give him time, and he'll let you feed him too.

Probably started as a fake dating thing so that his family would stay off his back. He is the heir to essentially an empire, and is expected to find a partner! So, since you are on the same page, he turns to you in his hour of need.

He's always touching you. Especially the more animated he gets. When he's talking or telling a story, he touches your shoulder a lot, especially when he's talking about you to someone else. If he's not touching your shoulder, he's squeezing your knee, or laying his head on your shoulder, or…well I think you get it.

Calls you "his treasure" so often that people ask all the time if you are dating. You both always laugh and say no…but people ask it so often that sometimes you both start to gaslight yourselves, like, "are we dating?" Then something will happen that reminds you both you're aro, and it'll make you laugh all over again.

He always just knows how you feel, and is three steps ahead. If you're sad, you come home and he's already made you some food. If you're getting sick, he's already gotten medicine, laid out your pajamas, and made your bed super comfy for you. You don't know how he does it, he just seems hyper aware of everything when it comes to you! He just wants you to be happy!!!!

Because he's so important, you probably aren't allowed to live with him until he is head of his family, and can dictate his own life. So you have lots of sleepovers, where you stay up late, and gossip about everyone, and Jamil has to come in and yell at you both to go to bed! (Honestly, he's just like a mom sometimes.)

He likes to take you on shopping sprees with him, holding your hand and dragging you place to place, and paying for anything you so much as look at. Meanwhile, Jamil is trailing behind you both with the most exhausted expression on his face.

Bonus: he feels like the kind of aro that when people try to explain romantic attraction to him, he's like, "But I love everybody! 🤗" And then the people explaining it facepalm.

Vil likes to model his looks for you before he debuts them to the public. He knows they're good, but it's fun for him to put on a mini fashion show. He especially likes when you get excited about a look. Those are the ones he posts on his own magicam.

Vil hates it, but he's slowly picked up your speech patterns from how often you two are together. He'll be having a normal conversation, then he'll see Epel smirk, and Rook giggle, and he'll realize he said something that only you would say. It's embarrassing for him, but hilarious for Epel, who finally gets to correct his grammar.

He formulates a personal skin care product line for you. Everyone's skin is different, and it's Vil's love language to take care of people's skin, and help them achieve their "highest form". He'll even apply it for you, he'll do the hard parts. Just show up to his room at 7:30 pm sharp. Or he'll send Rook after you.

If you are okay with it, he likes to coordinate your makeup and outfits so that you both are matching. He already knows he is the fairest one of all, but he'd be willing to share the title with you. And dressing you up gets him so excited for the day. He's almost unrecognizable with how excited he gets when you are matching. He'll stand next to you while you both look in the mirror, and have the dopiest grin on his face.

He takes you out on spa days with him. You both get massages, and mani petis, and facials, and chat about all your woes and celebrity gossip. It's the most human anyone, except you, gets to see Vil. You know the people running the spa go home and brag about what they witnessed, but no one will believe them. Vil Schoenheit? Gossiping and laughing like a teenager? You must be drunk.

Bonus: Him and Rook had a QPR before you two, but they "split" amicably because Rook is too much of a lover, and needed more. Vil gets it though, and still allows Rook to dote on him when he needs someone to pamper.

The big thing in this relationship is emotional support. He "keeps you around" (his words) because he feels better when you guys hold hands. He'll bring you everywhere with him, because you holding his hand makes things better. He'll go places with you too, it's only fair. Ortho's just happy Idia is finally touching grass.

When he doesn't come to class in person, he likes to text you to see what you're up to. He gets giddy every time you text him back. He gets even more excited when you send him a meme with no explanation, and he gets to use his top notch brain to figure out what you are up to, and why it's relevant.

Movie nights. A lot of them. He brings one of his fave obscure movies, and you both watch and critique them. He thinks you both should start a podcast so that others can hear your excellent opinions.

He's so chatty with you. He hasn't been uncomfortable having a conversation with you since when you first met. Other people ask how you got him to be so talkative, and you don't really have an answer? If Idia is feeling particularly annoyed today, he'll say something like, "Y/N is friend shaped, you aren't." Then continue the conversation as though he didn't just totally wreck that person.

Everytime he has a new invention, you're the first to know. Then he gets excited and practices his speech with you. With others, he gets high and mighty, like he is all too aware of how much smarter he is. But with you he's patient. He answers all your questions, and even lets you test the invention out.

Despite being willing to leave his room for you, he still has bad days where it's just too hard. And he is so grateful to you when you go on snack/meal runs for him. He could cry when you bring him the food. You're sent from the gods. You have to be! No one but an angel would be so perfect and kind to him.

He could cry with happiness when you let him babysit Grim. He has a whole plan; games they can play, food he can feed him, hours of petting scheduled in…he's so pumped! He's hoping you'll see he can co parent more cats with you in the future.

Look, I already HC Mal as Ace (it's fine if you don't, that's just my opinion). I feel like he's the aro ace that just…never gets it? He'll have his arm wrapped around your shoulders for moral support, and people will be like, is that your mate? And he'll just look really confused like…no? He does a QPR so naturally, that it's never actually "official". You're just kind of the person who lives in his castle, cuddles with him, and is there for every major life event he goes through. No big deal.

He gets a little jealous when you hang out with another friend, like Sebek or Silver. He knows you don't mean anything by it…but you're his best friend, right? They're just secondary friends, right? No, he's not pouting, but yes, he would like to join you, thanks for asking.

Draconic instincts are to hoard, and deck out their loved ones in shiny things. You'll find random shiny trinkets on your pillow when you wake up, like you just got visited by the tooth fairy. He's acting like an excited puppy if you wear or display the things he gives you. He'll bring it up to everyone you see. "Doesn't Y/N look great in that bracelet? That's one of the best pieces from my hoard. 😊" If you give him shiny trinkets and rocks back, he'll treat them like the most precious things in his life. He'll be giving diplomats a tour of the castle, and they'll arrive at a pedestal with a single rock on it, and he'll proclaim it "the kingdom's greatest treasure!"

Makes this face all the time when he's around you: 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

You're his guest of honor at every single event. And he always announces your entrance like you are the most powerful person in the room. "I would like to present Y/N L/N, the greatest human to ever live, and my best friend!" More than one diplomat has been very confused by who the fuck this human is.

The nicknames, oh my God the nicknames. Think Anne Perkins and Leslie Knope. "Y/N, you beautiful tropical fish." "Y/N, you beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk ox." "Y/N, you tricky minx." He could give Rook and Floyd a run for their money with his nicknames for you. (Honorable mention to the time he called you "the most precious child of man to ever child of man.")

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #aromantic #riddle rosehearts #twst riddle #leona kingscholar #twst leona #twisted wonderland azul #twst azul #azul ashengrotto #twst kalim #kalim al asim #vil schoenheit #twst vil #idia shroud #twst idia #malleus draconia #twst malleus #aromantic reader

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kitsu-katsu · 1 year

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I was talking with someone about just how canon the ineffable husbands are in good omens and I brought up how Gaiman said that what they have is canonically a love story (which is really reflected in the show, with their moments of vulnerability towards the other, their despair at the thought of losing one another, their comfort with eachother, the way they stick together through millennia even when they're never trying to, etc), but they don't have labels, as they don't have genders and the human conception of intimacy eludes them as ethereal beings that aren't human

And the complications with that

Because this person I was discussing with is not as versed in fandom discourse, and so they're only now finding the vocabulary of "queer baiting" to talk about that Sherlock show

And so they're like "I hope I see Crowley and Aziraphale absolutely eat eachother's mouths, it has to be canonized" and I'm standing here like. It is canon though. Like they won't add some "hetero romance" cop-out last minute. They are canonically in a love story. What's interesting is how the label-less queerness of it can also explore non-binary aspects and an aroace perspective on what "love" is

And they're bummed out because if they don't "absolutely eat eachother's mouths" it doesn't feel as canon to them. And I'm still standing here in aroace like. Bro. There are so many forms of relationships. A kiss on screen doesn't have to make it any more or less canon

But at the same time, from the amatonormative perspective, I get how the kiss on screen is seen as the end all be all. Because in general media, the main pairings will have the kiss at the end. And they will live happily ever after with that

Before the kiss it is only as canon as the kiss is predictable, and after the kiss, you can point to that one scene as "the moment it was canonized for realsies despite even people in the show making constant remarks about this being an obvious thing"

And I kinda hate it

I just wish the whole community wouldn't have to keep its guards up like this so much to discern whether something is coming from a genuine place of wanting to tell a story for a queer audience or about a queer subject or if it's all just a ploy to get our money, spit in our faces, smile at the traditional homophobic crowd and fund some conservative party with it

Because then we wouldn't have to play it by the boring straight rules. If everything points to it being obvious, then why is an intense kiss necessary? Why is it all you want? Why can't this represent a qpr? Or a loving relationship where intimacy in the form of a kiss just isn't something the characters want? Or a more open thing instead of being a purely monogamous arrangement? Or something completely new, a dynamic you can only describe in an essay lest you don't make their chemistry justice?

Aren't all of those just a much more under-thought about queer dynamics than what "I want these characters to kiss eachother until they can't remember their names on screen or else it isn't canon enough" can convey?

But at the same time, without something as concise and strong in media language, how do you make sure it won't all stay in just subtext and the reason it looks like clear text to you is because you're starved for queer stories and have become way too accustomed to reading between the lines?

I mean, it's also been proven to not be an absolute in instances where the text goes ham in letting you know what it's saying, when it's not implying, it is just telling. For one, Rose and Pearl in Steven Universe never did share a kiss on screen, and nevertheless we all know what was going on there

Idk, it's complicated and it's 1am, and this is all just a ramble, but I am in my aroace hating amatonormativity mood and the sentiment that characters being a canon thing without an explicit kiss bums someone out to the point they say "ok, ok, I get the whole nb ace ethereal beings that aren't human idea, but I want something more explicit because it doesn't feel canon enough" when that isn't strictly necessary for the story to get it across just got me in a weird mood and this is about so much more than good omens, I needed to try and word it out and might as well put it out there

Just. Why does queerness have to be allonormative and also amatonormative to be valid in the eyes of the queer masses necessarily? You'd think we'd figured out that queerness goes beyond just the L, G, B and binary T by now

#kitsu rambles #aroace #aro #aromantic #ace #asexual #good omens #steven universe #ineffable husbands #crowley good omens #crowley #aziraphale #aziraphale good omens #amatonormativity #allonormativity #queer baiting #fandom discourse

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isa-ghost · 3 months

Note

Would go crazy over any q!phil hc's, but may I request some about phil's harem I mean qsmp server polycule?

OHOHOHOHO YOU'RE INDULGING MY STUPID SILLY HAREM. YESSS.

Previous qPhil Headcanons

SO ANYWAY. QPHIL AND HIS INNATE TALENT FOR PULLING BAD BITCHES ON ACCIDENT.

Reiterating initial mentions of this for context:

--He's married to the Goddess of Death (Kristin) and Missa (a reaper). He's also fuckbuddies with Fit (no one can look at their interactions & tell me there's no homo there) and Etoiles. Strictly fuckbuddies; Fit has something blooming with Pac, and Etoiles is aromantic. --Everyone who Knows(tm) about the polycule has turned calling it a harem into an inside joke they only reference when Phil either isn't around or isn't paying attention enough to be like WHAT. --In fact, it's unfolded into a sort of joke folklore around Phil made up by the islanders closest to him that he has this inexplicable charm to him that makes any man-attracted person weak in the knees. (Baghera totally started it. Cellbit, Foolish, & Fit perpetuated it & it spread from there) --All this fruity silliness in mind, I have no fucking clue what queer label I'd slap on Phil, if one at all. Part of me wants to claim him as pansexual bc I'm Pansexual So Therefore So Is My Cubito + the way he'd explain how he experiences romantic & sexual attraction is exactly what I described *my* exp as in high school and my friend was like "yeah that's pansexual." But I also feel like Phil's the kind of guy to purposely not define his sexuality & remain an enigma both as a "mind your business" & a "It's Funny To Not Elaborate" thing. (As of rn I'm rolling with "he's pansexual but in a font you've never seen before")

S O

Obv Mrs. Goddess of Death Kristin came first, she's been with him since long before Quesadilla Island. Strangely enough, she can't recall too much prior to the island just like Phil, but there's no way the Feds know she exists let alone know how to fuck up the memory of a deity. But yeah, she was his first & is his ONLY romantic dynamic within his weird polycule

She's an avid fan of Phil being his best unintentional whore self with them nice ass shoulders on display all the time and that accidental man magnet charm. Loves watching him pull bitches nonstop without even realizing. And loves watching him be a total fruity dork with his besties. She knows if Phil was forced to choose ONE person out of the polycule to be monogamous with forever, he'd pick her. She's not worried at all about his yaoi island adventures

Next came Fit. Hough, what a man. They WERE, until recently, strictly fwb. They fucked nasty behind that gym and I'll die on that hill. The way they talk to each other sometimes? Big boy?? FitMC people are watching?? They fucked behind that gym. Their fwb was called off as soon as Fit got serious with Pac though. Phil was totally chill with it & actively encouraged it. He loves seeing Fit so invested in the romance he's got blooming. They're still more than friends, not lovers, but a secret third thing, the sexual aspect was just removed from the equation. Truly the most QPR of the polycule

Then came Missa. Oh Missa. Their dynamic IS platonic like Phil has stated & restated countless times, but Missa has a (not yet brought to Phil's attention) massive romantic crush on him. He hasn't spoken up yet to keep their relationship from getting rocky at all. But tbh that prob won't happen. They're platonic in the Kiss The Homies way. So what if they make out sometimes and are husbands? So what if they go on adventures that could be considered dates by some? They aren't a romantic relationship, even if Missa secretly kinda wants to be.

And finally, aromantic king Etoiles joined the fray. He and Phil started out as friends and that has Barely changed if at all, but sparring matches get a little too homoerotic sometimes and neither of them can resist the other when they're popping off extra hard. Things have. Escalated a few times. If yknow what I mean. Of all Phil's harem members polycule partners, he & Etoiles have absolutely ZERO emotional investment in the Spicy(tm) things they do together. It's simply a very intimate way of showing each other their respect & admiration for the other. What they have going on is a "*spanks you* good game, let's hit the showers team" kinda deal. They're the type of mfs to finish in bed then shake hands like "gg." Casual sex is >>>> to these two, but it happens waaay less between them than it did Phil & Fit, Fitza was habitual. Codebreakers is a once in a while thing

Btw once Fitpac gets more stable together and whatnot, Fitza could potentially reignite with Pac's consent. That's the key to healthy poly, all parties are informed & consenting. Pac would be like. An honorary harem member. He & Phil would have absolutely 0 intimate relations, they're strictly friends in the most basic sense of the word. They just also fuck the same guy (& would totally talk about it together if alone)

Phil sometimes tries to gauge if Missa only likes men or if he likes women too. If he does, he's going to ask if he'd like to hear about his lord & savior, Big Woman(tm).

Etoiles has 100% asked Phil who fucks the best out of the polycule bc like everything else, it's a competition & he Must win, he Must have the best dick game. This amuses Phil very much

*incoherent but clearly passionate noises about how Phil hasn't done anything spicy with any of the polycule in a hot second because of Ender King Situation stress*

GOD he wants to open up to them about it so bad. Like yeah he did w Fit that one time but he didn't go into detail and hasn't said anything since and bc Phil is an idiot that feels guilty easily, he doesn't want to tell Fit more atm bc he doesn't want to dampen Fit's high spirits or take away his time with Pac

OK BUT CONSIDER: POLYCULE GROUP EFFORT TO GET THROUGH TO ENDER KING POSSESSED PHIL AND HELP HIM FIGHT OFF EK'S INFLUENCE. OUGH.

Phil attracted all four partners with his raw skill and talent btw. If you even care. Literally was just going about his business being himself and it bagged him three dudes in addition to the literal goddess he already had

Although his feelings are platonic, Phil is attracted to Missa because Missa is a) the other father of his children and b) such a genuine and sweet person. And funny, even if a lot of the times the reason he's funny is bc he's like 2 seconds from having a stroke over whatever shit he missed hitting the fan this time

Phil is attracted to Fit bc. Well. That's FitMC of 2b2t, baby. Raw skill and talent sees raw skill and talent. Fellow anarchist. Also muscles. And that razor sharp stare. Fit's just dreamy as hell ok, let a man drool a little

Phil is attracted to Etoiles the same way he's attracted to Fit, HOWEVER, the reasoning is different. Etoiles has raw skill and talent, but it's the way he wields it and demonstrates it that makes Phil wanna act up. Also Etoiles is fucking hilarious. Who can resist a good sense of humor? Those dramatics make Phil swoon

#qsmp #qsmp philza #q!philza #cw suggestive #qphil headcanons

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bloggingboutburgers · 12 days

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hey! just have a quick question about getting into qprs... i have this person i've known for about 2-3 years now and i'd absolutely love to get into a qpr with them; i've tried to hint at it in the past but my autistic ass can't figure out how to say it and have them pick it up (they've never noticed any of my hints before) without explicitly asking "hey have you heard of this thing called a queer-platonic relationship before? yeah i want to do that with you", as that'd just be awkward and i have nowhere fucking near the confidence to do that with all my anxiety and whatnot. essentially i'm asking for your wisdom on how to suggest it to someone without explicitly saying that and with truckloads more anxiety than the average person. any help will be much appreciated, but keep in mind that autism bars a lot of stuff, including the ability to properly judge social situations (this is one area where i particularly struggle). thank you!!

Heya!

I've said it in the past in response to some other asks, but my partner was the one who suggested the idea of a QPR to me, not the other way around (I had no idea what QPRs were at the time), so... I'm not the best person to give advice on this TwT Of course it doesn't help that every person is different and that there's no guarantee that what works for a person will necessarily work for another...

I will say this though, in case it helps in any way: my partner had known me for a year and a half before they offered the idea, and apparently they'd wanted to offer it within just a couple months of starting to talk to me. Thing is, I'd made it clear early on that I'm not interested in romance or sex (as an aroace it's kind of something I'd built a reflex to let everyone know, at that point, so people wouldn't build expectations on me), so they might've thought even the idea of a QPR might make me wanna distance myself... But no, actually, I took it like it was a completely natural consequence with the most anticlimatic "OK sure sounds cool" imaginable.

But most importantly... "Hey have you heard of this thing called a queer-platonic relationship before? yeah i want to do that with you" IS pretty much exactly how they asked me, and that went well. If there's anything that I can offer as advice or comfort, it's that very fact. I can tell you from experience that it didn't make things awkward for me at all. The confidence part of course is another whole issue that I don't wanna downplay, though I'm not really sure what to offer as an alternative... TwT But I hope whatever you go for, it'll work out well for you in the end.

Here's pretty much word for word how it went for us, if it helps at all as well! There definitely was some tension whiplash to bear with, and some discussions that followed to see where that really left us, but in the end, we really are vibing^^ And personally, I feel there's nothing that works better than actually speaking from the heart and sincerely, as terrifying (and socially dangerous) as that can be sometimes. It can slam back in your face sometimes, I won't deny that, but it can also help a great deal other times, and in my experience, it gets easier the more you do it. Heck, I know it's easier said than done TwT But that's the most sincere thing I could say about that.

#...that said i hope it doesn't come to bite you in the future #getting whiplash from speaking from the heart can truly hurt #but yeah i definitely wish you the best of luck and all the courage nonetheless #queerplatonic #queer platonic relationship #qpr #anon #sorry this is so long btw TwT

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qpp-townie · 7 months

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I think part of what people struggle with when hearing a term like Queerplatonic Relationship is that it doesn’t fit into one of the boxes they already have set up for how the world works and so rather than make room for it, they try to shove it where it doesn’t belong or argue that it actually shouldn’t exist.

It is a term trying to convey information. It is not a trick or delusion or oversight on my part.

If I introduce you to someone and say ‘we are in a relationship’ most people (in the US at least) will default to thinking that means a romantic relationship which involved dating and now being a monogamous couple with sex, seeking marriage. Maybe not with that much detail, but that one word CAN carry a lot of implications that some would like to avoid from the start.

So i’d rather say ‘we are in a queer platonic relationship’ because that immediately tells you more information. It is a queer relationship and it is based on more platonic feelings (which doesn’t mean it is entirely platonic, but that’s an important part of it). It also tells you that these people have talked about their relationship and agree on this label, which should just NEVER be up for debate. If someone asks your opinion on a label that’s different, but same way you don’t get to decide who is queer or tell others what their feelings are, we are calling ourselves this for a reason.

But here’s the thing, saying that we are a QPR does not tell you the whole story! Same way saying you are dating, together with, married to, etc. someone, does not give you the full context of a relationship! Someone can say they are married, but later specify it is an asexual romantic relationship. Someone can say they dating and that can mean they are exclusive or seeking other partners. There are similar things qprs “typically” exhibit (but don’t have to), like closeness, living together, and no expectations of having to woo or romance the other person. But it is a broad term meant to encapsulate many types of relationships that fall outside the norm of building a nuclear family and amatonormative (romantic love is the most important kind of love) societal standards (which is not a universal standard for human relations, if there is a word in a different language/culture that fits better then that is of course okay!)

And I hope this can be a lesson about interacting with queer people/ people different from you in general, but rather than saying ‘that sounds like this thing/ that sounds fake/ I don’t want to call it that cause I’m used to this other thing/ i’m used to these boxes and just going to put you in one based on what you said’ just say:

‘cool! I’m not familiar with that, can you explain more?’ or even just ‘okay!’

#Writing the last bit also reminded me of #People saying the African dish Fufu is ‘like mochi’#like it comes from a good place #of trying to give quick information #but if you call it African mochi #you are just ignoring what people are saying about their own food #even specifying what you are comparing is better #fufu has a chewy light texture similar to mochi #sorry for the very specific comparison amxmsmmxm #qpp #qpr #platonic yearning #qpp yearning #qpp positivity #queerplatonic #queerplatonic relationship #queerplatonic partner #queerplatonic positivity

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communiteee · 3 months

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my rough and incomplete take on Trobed

I don't think they are or should be in a typical gay relationship. But they are canonically, undeniably queer. Their friendship is like what most people imagine a QPR to function as. It is the most important/valued relationship for both of them out of the study group and everything else. They build their lives around each other (living together, playing together, caring for each other) until Troy goes on his boat ride.

I've heard some aroace Abed headcanons, and though he wore a hoodie with the sunset flag stripes, I disagree. The truth of the matter is, Abed fucks. This is important rep because lots of disabilities are (can't think of the word, but - assumed to not have/want sex because abled people find them undesirable and incapable of wanting/feeling things for themselves - poor phrasing but the point stands). So Abed being canonically autistic and having many hook-ups throughout the show is really cool. I also definitely think Troy is gay.

This is where it gets complicated for those unaware of the nuances of amatanormativity.

I think that Trobed (assuming Troy ever comes back from the boatride) prioritize one another and build their lives together, like people want spouses to do. They live together, they care for each other, they cuddle and talk like they are in a romantic relationship. Hell, maybe they even do have full-on romantic feelings. the important part is, they are best friends first. They are fundamentally FRIENDS, and they also have some other stuff going on. This is not a transition stage, it is not hiding their true feelings. They acknowledge that their friendship is queer. I could honestly see them having sex - as best friends, who maybe have romantic feelings too.

To explain this better, think of the phrase "your spouse is your best friend." I'm almost certain I've talked about this in another post but I'm tired and I don't care. The hypothetical "you" and "spouse" are first and foremost, lovers. You also have a friendship between you. Trobed reverses this. Their friendship is most important. Their platonic feelings drive their interactions and decisions. They also have secondary romantic feelings, like icing on a cake. Sex to them is something casual, like building a blanket fort. It's fun, they enjoy it, and it's a way to show love together. It's not fundamental, their relationship doesn't rest on it, and it's just another activity for them.

Abed and Troy would probably sexually open and having casual flings here and there, like Abed does in the show. Troy would get jealous if someone moved in on Abed like a best friend, rather than an interested lover. Because first and foremost, they are best friends.

#abed nadir #troy barnes #community nbc #community tv #community #aro #aromantic #allo aro #gay #queer #queer platonic relationship #qpr #relationship analysis #character analysis

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kazookat · 16 days

Note

hi!! saw your post!! would love to hear you talk more about house md! what was it you said about qpr house?

Hello!! Thanks for asking! :D

so personally I see hilson as a queer platonic relationship, and this hc has tons of canon ammo for it! House and wilson are a lot closer than most best friends are, and usually people think of this as because they are romantically attracted to each other, and thats cool and all but I feel like people are missing the huge potential for a queer platonic hilson

Throughout the whole show, house and wilson are there for each other in a way that nobody else is, they support and understand the other half of the relationship in a way that no other person throughout the whole show is ever able to do

Wilson in particular is time and time again shown to be more dedicated and loyal to house than any of his wives, I strongly think that wilson's last 2 marriages broke because of this dedication. In typical romantic relationships having that level of devotion to a friend is hugely frowned upon, many considering it to be an emotional affair. Wilson's ex-wives wanted to know that they were his number 1 priority, but instead they knew that house was.

Through the whole show, house puts up a stony asshole exterior, never letting anyone see his care for what it is. Instead, he tries to help while also trying to make himself look like as much as a jerk as possible. The only person who can see that for what it is without calling it out is wilson. Wilson knows that house would be disturbed if anyone picked up on it and commented on it, so wilson doesnt.

One example that comes to mind is when house hires a child actor to pretend to be wilson's son (ok but why does nobody ever talk about that episode???) wilson is regretting that he doesnt have a child of his own, and any other person from the hospital would have a reassuring conversation with him about it, but house cannot allow himself to be seen as a comforting, nice, or "soft" figure. (possibly due to his trauma from his father, but honestly i could make a whole post about that) so house does the most insane thing he can think of. in any other person it would be considered extremely mean, or cruel, and many other people in the show would interpret it that way. but wilson understands house better than he understood any of his wives, and so when it is revealed that the kid is an actor he is barely mad at house, wilson knows that house loves him (platonically in this hc) and house knows that wilson understands. many people say that there is no platonic explanation for their commitment to each other, but I find that interpritation very limiting from my aromantic point of view. While romantic perspectives on hilson are super fun, all the potential for a qpr is already canon and I have yet to see anyone talk about it

I could probably say a lot more about this hc, this post is already pretty long so I am going to wrap it up here ^_^ I am so glad people wanted to hear about this!

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visgrapplinghooks · 8 months

Text

friendlinghood: a proposal

skip to "terminology" if you don't want the long explanation

QPRs are really difficult to talk about because of the way the modern queer community has kinda framed it as like "dating but without romantic attraction"

when that's not entirely true

I mean, you COULD say that's a kind of QPR but it'd be a mistake to frame all of it that way. this is in large part to internet misinformation and shit as well as amatonormativity from which a lot of relationship discourse is framed against

queerplatonicism, from my pov refers to what is essentially the natural byproduct of queer and neurodivergent people having close friends

the queer community has been aware for a while that its members would have close friendships that in some way violated traditional social norms for behavior outside romantic relationships or family, etc.

when you sit outside the neurotypical and patriarchal norm, the conventional social understanding of what relationships are kinda breaks down for you

you display levels of closeness and intimacy and affection that are "inappropriate" for neurotypical and patriarchal society. in most cases they're not formal relationships, but natural evolutions of friendships between queer and neurodivergent folks

cishet people actually do have variants on this like the concept of "blood brothers" where two men who love each other basically make a pact to always have each other's backs and be their support and they do the whole movie thing where they mix blood to bind them together (it's a very cinematic thing, but the point is it exists in the popular consciousness)

"romance" and "friendship" each refer to a set of social norms and expectations. there's like a whole narrative constructed around those concepts and people internalize and have their own versions of them

a lot of people probably have friends they want to fuck or kiss or cuddle or declare their undying affection for but it'd just be "weird" within the social boundaries of acceptability and so people pigeonhole their relationships into either friend or romantic partner.

queerplatonicism (from my pov) is essentially accepting or practicing relationships which are neither platonic or romantic or even strictly familial. many queer people have them with other queer people they're close to. if you know queer folks then you probably know what I'm talking about - the friends they have that they're not dating but seem intensely attached and close to. they usually have weird names for each other that go beyond friendship like they'll jokingly call each other wives and husbands and siblings and partners... but it doesn't feel quite entirely joking. they'll express a lot of physical affection in the casual way you might typically ascribe to romantic partners. they'll prioritize time with those people as much as any romantic partner they may have etc.

straight and cis people and neurotypical people obviously experience them to some extent, it's just that patriarchy was built around cishet neurotypicals in particular, so it tends to cling to their mindsets more strongly, and once you're already outside of the "bounds of normalcy" by being queer, ND, etc. then it's a lot easier to feel like it's okay for you to be in relationships that aren't "normal".

because like the idea of loving someone with your entire fucking being... it's so tied up in these cultural ideas on how to behave about those feelings and it never made sense to me, because if you just let yourself feel those emotions you start to realize there are people in your life that maybe you love so much more than friends. but "more than friends" is so washed up in romance that you force those feelings down and think "this is fine, I'm happy with being just friends, what else can we be?"

maybe I don't want to have sex or hold hands on a ferris wheel or get. married or kiss or any of that. maybe I just want to exist in the same room as that person know that that person is in my life and know that person cares about me just as much as I do them.

terminology

I've started to use the term "friendling" in my day to day life, now. the term is a portmanteau of "friend" and "sibling" and "loveling" (the english cognate of the German word "lieblings" which can mean "favorite", but is also a term of endearment).

to me, it's probably the most accurate way to describe the Everything All At Once feelings that are simultaneously your weird friends that are your found family and also "romantic" but twisted beyond recognition where the term stops meaning anything.

I'm just throwing this word and explanation out there for anyone who feels like me and wants to use it too. not exclusive to queer people or neurodivergence or anything, I just think it's often easier to be cognisant of those feelings when you are queer and neurodivergent.

that being said, I do NOT want this to be folded into another "attraction label". this is, as far as I can tell, not a unique form of attraction but quite literally the opposite. it's an abstraction of the core impulses of attraction that ALL humans experience without the labels or social structures built around it. I do not want the language that I've spent so long trying to find for my experiences losing all of its value and being reapporpriated into the amatonormative, allonormative, and cisheteropatriarchal framework.

"friendlinghood" - is what I see as an attribute of relationships and the extent to which they deviate from socially conventional definitions of a relationship.

"friendlingship" - used grammatically like friendship. referring to any complex relationship acategorically.

"friendling" - used grammatically similar to friend. referring to those involved in any complex relationship acategorically.

all of this shit is nebulous and doesn't really mean anything beyond what meaning you choose to give it. I think any relationship can have some amount of friendlinghood and I don't think there's a clear line between friendlingship and friendship or romance or family, because it's not a type of relationship in the first place. it's just silly words I made that helped me.

language and labels

so the biggest problem with terminology like this is you can end up creating labels. my point was to create personal terms for myself and my relationships because that's what helped me personally process my own feelings.

that's not to say everyone needs or benefits from them. you can just vibe and do whatever you want and many people are happy with that.

I don't think words like this being codified and standardized really helps anyone. it's unavoidable that we as humans like articulating feelings, but the entire point of my interactions with friendlinghood is about certain things defying labels and language. language in this sense is just a tool, it's a hammer for a nail. it's not embodying the concept itself, it's just useful shorthand.

I will still freely refer to friendlings as close friends, best friends, found family, and other words. as long as I know the intention behind it is all that matters. I just needed that initial bit of language to articulate the feelings before the other words felt right to me.

#romance #relationships #healthy relationships #friendship #neurodivergence #actually neurodivergent #actually autistic #lgbtqplus #lgbtq community #lgbtqia #aromantic #aromanticism #acespec #aspec pride #asexuality #aroace #queerplatonic #queerplatonic relationships #queer

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