#house md headcanons
Note
okay this is so incredibly specific so please feel free to ignore BUT i’ve been wanting to read a fic for ages where the reader is Chase’s childhood best friend from Australia and she moves to New Jersey for a fresh start. She’s staying with Chase while she gets settled, and one day she comes to visit him at lunch at the hospital, where she ends up meeting House and he’s… intrigued by her 👀 either romantic or smut would be so very cool :^D <33 💐
YES. I LOVE THIS PROMPT IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT IM FINISHED!!!
Gregory House x Fem!Chases bsf!Reader
Warnings: None really, just cussing and tooth rotting fluff >:) 3k+ words.
Chase's POV:
“Well I was just wondering if we could go out sometime, I think you're really-” My attention shifted as y/n's call lit up my phone, interrupting the conversation. It was a more pressing matter than pursuing a one-night stand.
“Excuse me for a moment.” I say walking away, the woman having an annoyed look on her face.
I answer the phone.
“Hello, y/n? Whats up”
“Chase! Long time no talk haha.”
“You called me yesterday.”
“Learn to take a joke, anyways, I have some exciting news for you.”
“I’m moving to New Jersey!!”
“Wait what? Really?”
“Yeah, I kinda forgot to tell you and i'm actually at the airport right now, so I hope you aren't busy tomorrow so you can pick me up.”
“Wow, um alright, yeah I can pick you up, do you have a place to stay?"
“Um…no…”
I sigh, “Just stay at mine for now.”
“Don't even with the sigh i’ve known you my whole life you can put the nightly hookups on hold for your best friend.”
I smirk and shake my head, “Yeah yeah, I’ll see ya tomorrow y/n”
Y/N’s POV:
I smile as I hang up with Chase, grabbing my luggage and pulling it along the airport. Ahh yes, crying babies, rushed parents, annoying couples and that one insanely attractive person you see for a split second, I love the airport.
Glancing at my ticket I realize I might have to hurry to make it to the gate, speed walking I see a text from chase, “Have a safe flight.” Let's hope so.
Time skip (to lazy to write all the details about fucking airports)
Relaxing on a 21-hour flight proved challenging, especially with a toddler nearby. It was unclear whether the toddler would be a source of annoyance or just be tolerable. The flight just started. So to entertain myself I decide to do some digging about Chase's job, he brags about it all the time and the infamous Dr Gregory House. To be honest I thought Chase was gay for a little while with how much he talks about him. Still speculating.
The plane lifts off and I start my look, at first just looking up Gregory House, a surprising amount of things show up. An article titled, “Gregory House, Talented Doctor? Or a lying Narcissist?” Oh well that's a good first impression.
Scrolling down I see another article, “The world's greatest doctor, and his deepest secrets”
Now that's enticing. I click on it only to find out his deepest secrets, including using 3 in one shampoo and how his leg got hurt. I guess people hardly know anything about him. I click on the photos of him, there's only a couple, most of them blurry but to be honest he's pretty good looking from the photos I can see. I’d honestly be gay for him if I was Chase.
The toddler next to me starts giggling, I glance at her and notice her staring at a picture of House. She's kicking her feet too. That's so relatable.
For the rest of the flight I find some stuff about this guy named Taub, who somehow also figured out that he cheated on his wife which is why he had to quit. How did I find that out? I took a coding class in 8th grade. (I got lucky)
Lisa Cuddy the Dean of Medicine, unfortunately only good stuff about her, boring.
Remy Hadley, oddly, can't find anything on her.
Eric Foreman, his brothers in jail, fun.
And the others are just as boring. For the remainder of the flight, the toddler proved surprisingly chill. I passed the time by binge-watching random movies I had downloaded earlier
*Another time skip to plane landing*
Finally, 21 hours on a fucking plane is horrible.
I check my phone after I take it off airplane mode, seeing a text from chase a couple minutes ago.
“I’m at the airport, is your flight done?”
“Yep, wya.”
“I’m parked in the front.”
“That's specific”
“There's no other front dumbass”
I roll my eyes at his text, and get off the plane as soon as I can. I walk out and see Chase standing outside his car waiting for me. His eyes light up as he spots me, and a grin spreads across his face. Unable to resist, I rush forward and envelop him in a bear hug.
“Man you’re a lot uglier in person”
I say jokingly, smirking.
“Oh shut up”
We climbed into his car, and he drove us back to his apartment. When we arrive he helps get my crap into the house, before he gets a call saying he had to head to work.
Eventually a week or two passes, I've gotten more comfortable in his apartment, applied for a bunch of jobs, and looked for places to stay so I’m not invading his “man” space anymore. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of options, and no jobs have replied to my applications, which is weird since im overqualified, it's almost like they aren’t even getting my applications in the first place.
I’m doing the dishes when I get a text from Chase.
“Hey, I left my wallet on the counter, so I don’t have money for food, could ya bring it for me?”
“Nah”
“See you soon”
I breathe out a laugh and grab his wallet, putting a coat on then driving to the hospital.
When I get there I walk in, looking around before I call Chase, “Where do I go this place is huge” I can hear talking in the background, actually more like arguing. “Uhm just wait at the entrance i’ll be right there.” He says in a whisper.
He hangs up so I just stand there awkwardly waiting, that was a weird ass phone call. To be fair Chase is a weird ass guy with weird ass coworkers so what do I expect at this point.
Before I see Chase I see Dr Gregory House, limping quickly towards me. And damn he’s even hotter in person than the pictures I saw of him.
“Hey, no time to explain, you need to come with me.” He grabs my arm dragging me into the elevator. Before it closes I see Chase come out of the stairway, he sprints towards the elevator but it closes. I hear him trying to say something, but it's muffled and I can’t understand it. Wait why the fuck did I even follow House?
“You're real compliant, you’d make a great hooker.”
I turn around and side eye him.
“Thanks, so would you.” I say giving a fake smile.
“Speaking of compliant, why did you drag me away from Chase? What's going on?’’
“I made a bet with Chase.”
“That's really specific and helpful thanks”
“Oh yeah no problem”
Sarcastic asshole.
“If you don’t tell me, I'll stop following you and go with Chase.”
He rolls his eyes.
“Fine, Mom! The bet is that I can convince you to work as my assistant here.”
“Really? That's it? I need a job. Why would Chase even bet against that?”
“He thinks you’ll fall in love with me so he doesn’t want that to happen, in his words, “She has a thing for homeless looking, narcissistic assholes with beards.” So he’s trying to prevent it, and he’s sure he can.”
Damn- I feel so called out. I stay silent before nodding.
“Well to be honest he isn’t wrong.”
I see House smirk before we get out of the elevator, he hobbles and leads me to his office, locking the door then having me sit down.
As I sit down in front of his desk, he grabs a ball and starts throwing it against the wall, while sitting down.
“So are you gonna interview me or something?”
“Yeah, I’m just waiting for Chase to get back up here so he can watch me interview you.”
He really is an asshole…it's kinda hot though.
“Fair enough.”
We wait a bit before Chase comes jogging up to the door, out of breath, he’s clearly been running plenty. He starts banging on the glass door that House previously locked.
“House!! Y/N! Let me in! This isn’t fair!” He exclaims, House is grinning when he leans over his desk, crossing his arms.
“Okay! Let’s start this interview now.”
“Y/n! You traitor!”
Did I abandon my childhood best friend for some disabled doctor? No, I did it for the job. At least that's what I'm telling myself.
Turning my attention back to House instead of the Australian cry baby outside the door, he asks me, “First question, do you want the job of being my assistant?”
“Obviously”
“Great! You have the job!”
I mean, easy enough. I smile and shake my head. This hospital really has some unique people.
House shakes my hand, grinning as Chase is sitting on the floor defeated outside.
As the days turned into weeks at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, I got to know everyone. Cuddy had to actually approve of me working as House’s assistant first, but once she saw a…normal enough individual, she welcomed me into the environment.
Getting to know House better, I found myself drawn to him in ways I hadn’t really expected. The bet between House and Chase, Chase thinking I would fall for House, I took it as a joke, until that joke turned more into reality.
Despite House being a narcissistic piece of shit, there were small moments that I saw, or shared with him that made me fall for him. Ones where he seemed happy, or just easy to be around. At work he's serious but when Wilson dragged him out to bars, or other social environments, he could actually be fun. And though him being a dick is undeniably attractive sometimes, when he was…”himself” that's how I began to fall for him.
One day, after an especially tough day for the team, and being forced to go break into houses and get coffee and food, I found myself alone with House in his office. The rest of the team had left, leaving us in a rare moment alone with each other. As I glanced up from the medical chart of the most recent patient, I caught House’s gaze lingering on me, his blue eyes intense and unreadable.
“Something on your mind, House?” I asked, attempting to break the awkward silence between us.
He smirked, leaning back in his chair with a casual ease, “Oh just wondering why a catch like yourself doesn’t have a boyfriend, or husband?” He responds, his tone laced with flirtatiousness.
I couldn’t help but chuckle at his response, a faint blush on my cheeks. House and I had gained an uncanny camaraderie, made from me running around doing everyone's paperwork, being the designated “you get to tell patients they are dying!!” person. And as you’d expect people didn’t respect me a lot, but if someone was blatantly mean to me, House would step in and destroy their self esteem in a second and walk away like it meant nothing. That's another thing that I think made me fall for him.
“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself that a lot too.” I smile, placing the medical chart on his desk.
“Do you want a boyfriend? Or girlfriend, or a pet or something.” He quips, his eyes looking like they are reading me, studying my every movement and reaction to what he’s saying, it's flattering and uncomfortable at the same time.
“A boyfriend would be nice.” I say reassuringly, a laugh escaping me as I shake my head in amusement.
“Alright let's say *hypothetically* I asked you out. *hypothetically* what would your response be?”
Raising an eyebrow I ask, “Are you trying to go on a date with me?”
“I said hypothetically, now answer the question.”
A smirk plays on my lips as I roll my eyes in a mock annoyance.
“Well.” I say, “Hypothetically, I would say yes.”
“Great, meet me for dinner at (some random fancy place idk u make up a name i'm too lazy to), wear something cute.”
With that, he sauntered out of the office, leaving me to think about what just happened. Glancing at the clock, I realized I had just enough time to get ready for our “hypothetical date.”
The anticipation bubbled within me, standing outside (IDK A RESTAURANT NAME IT), waiting for House to arrive. My heart raced with nervous excitement, unsure what to expect from a…unique…guy like House. I had used all the time I had to work on my outfit, settling for a simple dress (or suit, or just anything you're comfy in :) ).
As I scanned the busy street, searching for any sign of House, I heard the obnoxiously loud sound of a motorcycle approaching. House rode in, parking his bike before getting off and walking (limping) towards me. My breath caught in my throat as I saw him, he looked impossibly handsome, in a tailored suit that made his rugged charm come out, good god he looked fine.
“Y/n,” he greeted with a warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners in genuine affection. “That outfit makes your ass look nice.”
I scoff playfully, hitting his arm. “So much for acting like a gentleman, at least you look like one.”
He chuckled, offering me his arm in a more gentlemanly gesture. “Yeah yeah, shall we?”
With a nod, I looped my arm through his, savoring the warmth of his touch as we mad our way into the restaurant. The ambiance was elegant and inviting, with a soft candlelight casting a warm glow over the decor.
As we were seated at a table in a quiet corner of the restaurant, I couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement in my chest. I’m finally going out with House, damn Chase was totally right.
Throughout the evening, our conversation flowed surprisingly easily between us. I had half expected him to be rude or stuck up, but he seemed actually interested in me, in my life. He was asking questions, laughing and joking with me. Sharing stories of his own, and treating me like an actual human. Honestly it was scaring me a bit, but it was making me fall harder for him.
House raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in his eyes. ‘So, tell my Y/N. What’s the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?”
I laughed, shaking my head as I thought about the memory. “Well, there was this one time in college-”
“Let me guess,” House interrupted, a smirk playing on his lips. “It involved copious amounts of alcohol and very questionable decisions?”
I chuckle and nod in agreement. “You could say that. Long story short, I ended up streaking through the campus fountain at three in the morning. I'm pretty sure Chase might still have a video of it still.”
House raises an eyebrow, an amused laugh coming from him. “I wish I could say I was surprised, oh and also. I am finding that video.” He states, with a determined and mischievous grin.
The dinner continues and our connection just seems to get stronger, fueled by shared laughter, stories of shit Wilson and him did in college, things Chase and I did in highschool. With each passing moment, I found myself more and more under House’s spell, captivated by the complexity of himself, his character. His gaze, laughter, even his personality. Maybe it was the wine or something, but House was being nice, he had charisma, and was being attractive in general.
I don’t even realize that we’ve spent almost three hours in the restaurant just talking. I check my phone seeing that it's 9:30 already. We had got and paid the check awhile ago, but had stayed to talk longer. The restaurant closes at 10, and I felt a sudden pang of disappointment that our date was close to being over with. I didn’t want it to end, I was savoring this moment I was having, this seemingly perfect night.
When the waiter arrived to take our dessert order, I couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that the evening was drawing to a close. I wasn't ready for it to end—I wanted to savor every moment, to prolong the magic of our time together for as long as possible.
House notices my look of disappointment, “I’m aware how amazing I am, but if its up to me, this won’t be our last date.”
A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth, my cheeks heating up as I blush. The butterflies in my stomach going absolutely insane.
So with a quick glance around the restaurant, I rose from my seat, House grabbed my hand as he led me towards the exit.
Stepping out into the cool night air, I felt a sense of happiness coursing through me. This was it, the beginning of a new relationship, a surprisingly healthy one so far.
As House’s hand tightened around mine, his touch sent sparks of electricity coursing through my veins. I knew now that maybe Chase knows me better than I know myself, in all fairness he predicted this, but right now I wasn’t afraid to admit this, to admit the undeniable attraction that I had towards Dr Gregory House.
His touch leaves mine, his hand pulling as we stand in front of the restaurant, close to each other, staring in each other's eyes. I glance at his lips before leaning in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, not sure if he expected it, but I pull back.
“Goodnight House. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that I walk away, to my car. When I get in my car, I look in the mirror, seeing House standing there with a lovestruck grin, one a child would have over some school crush. But it was cute, he was cute. And this was just the beginning of an annoyingly predicated relationship with a Vicodin addicted, asshole, who I suspect has a soft spot for me.
#gregory house#greg house#hatecrimes md#dr house#house md#gregory house x reader#greg house x reader#house md headcanons#james wilson#robert chase
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Do you ever stop and think about all the ridiculous and kinda hilarious things that sound like headcanons but are actually are canon in House MD? Like,
• Wilson is canonically fantastic in bed
• House was canonically a cheerleader in college
• Wilson canonically gets whiskey dick
• House canonically attends a festival every year where he makes a spud gun
Just to name a few. Feel free to reblog and add because House MD truly has one of the most entertaining canons.
#house md#james wilson#hate crimes md#greg house#dr house#dr wilson#hilson#wilson x house#house/wilson#house md headcanons
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I saw a few other blogs doing this so I thought I'd share my input on what I think would happen in the House MD universe in 2024:
the constant jokes abt house and wilson's relationship turns into the fellows jokingly writing fanfic abt their boss and his boy best friend. somewhere along the way they all get very serious abt the quality of it and it turns into a Whole Thing, a 150k+ novel that they vow to take to their graves.
house discovers the fic by accident and sends it to wilson. wilson discovers things abt himself and then he and house discover each other shortly thereafter.
house purposefully posts the fic online and credits the fellows by their entire full names so it embarrasses them more than house and wilson. It's never spoken abt again but it gets way more online attention than any of them expected.
wilson doesn't get how the Cloud works and accidentally uploads his and house's nudes to the google nest hub on his desk. He doesn't notice it until one of his sweet little old lady cancer patients points it out to him during their appointment. He throws the google nest hub into his trash can until he can figure out how to get the naked pictures off of it.
house has an alexa and abuses the hell out of it. sometimes ppl hear him screaming at someone in his office, only to walk in and find a robotic voice replying with "sorry, I didn't get that" and house throws it off the balcony.
wilson gets addicted to online shopping. house has to stage an intervention bc they do not have enough room in their closet for another pair of prada loafers and their kitchen is full of shitty gadgets that wilson bought off temu or something.
some right wing social media influencer comes in with a mysterious illness and ends up getting castrated as part of the solution. 13 personally does the procedure herself and house watches like a proud dad.
a patient reveals chase's grindr by shoving his phone at him and asking "is this you?" abt the headless profile with the ripped abs that says Dr. Feel Good, 0 feet away, in front of the rest of the team.
foreman finds the team doing tiktok dances bc house told them to learn it in order to understand their 15 yr old patient better.
chase medically murders mitch mcconnel and the entire hospital celebrates ding dong the witch is dead style.
there's a whole episode where house faces his transphobia bc of a trans patient that he connects with. the patient tells him to fuck off and go face his own problems instead of pretending to make it right by being nice to one trans person. And house does, even if he's not perfect, he really tries to do better.
13 gets her medical marijuana card and accidentally becomes the team's plug. her main customer is wilson who still supplies it to certain terminal patients. She hears "hey, can I hit your pen?" at least four times a day.
foreman buys a tesla and it blows up in the parking lot. they spend the entire episode trying to figure out who tried to kill foreman, but it turns out that teslas just do that sometimes.
there's an episode where house finds out that netflix is removing his favorite obscure tv show that ran for 2 seasons in 2002 and wilson recruits the team to hunt down a dvd copy of it without house finding out. they somehow manage to find one and spend a ridiculous amount of money on it, only to open the dvd case and find a copy of the porno wilson starred in that one time instead of the dvd of the show. park saves the day at the last minute by finding a copy of it in a box of dvds in her parents house.
#might fuck around and add more later if i can think of some more#chyanne speaks#house md#hate crimes md#medical malpractice md#hilson#dr. gregory house#dr. james wilson#remy thirteen hadley#eric forman#chris taub#chi park#robert chase#house md headcanons
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house md 2024 headcanons 🫡
hi loves!! jumping on this trend :^) i don't think any of these make sense but they made me laugh soooo here u go
House has a very bad pain day and (when pushed) says that he strained the muscle while riding his bike. Obviously nobody believes him, so the ducklings + Wilson spend the day trying to figure out what he did and end up finding security footage of him attempting to hit the griddy in the morgue
Kutner has a very generic inspirational quotes tumblr blog (he’s so proud of it) and House finds it and just starts dropping quotes from it in DDXs to mess with him & then acting all innocent
Thirteen has a secret thirst trap tiktok acc that doesn’t explicitly show her face but has her lab coat & maybe stethoscope. When Chase suggests that it’s her she doesn’t confirm or deny it and just keeps winking. Cameron definitely follows the account after this. Thirteen pretends not to realise.
Wilson takes a uquiz to find out what sort of cheese he is and is devastated when it says he’s cheddar. He then has an identity crisis because he thinks he’s too bland and tries to reinvent his aesthetic, leading to one infected eyebrow piercing and a tramp stamp that’s never mentioned again. Potential there for a sappy scene where House tells him he's anything but bland.
Cuddy starts a momblog style podcast. House sends anonymous hate. Taub guest stars.
I think Taub would get deeply into ASMR. Like it’d start with him finding and playing a video of ASMR triggers for his daughters, then he tries it himself to see if that calms them down even more, etc etc. He starts a youtube channel and it blows up. He gets recognised by patients at the hospital. It goes to his head just a little. He unironically uses the term 'ASMRtist'
A cosplayer has a mysterious illness and the team has to go to a convention to test for environmental factors. Chase is apprehensive but House forces him to go. He’s quickly recognised at the convention and it turns out that he has a cosplay instagram account and they get stopped every 10 mins to take pictures. No one lets him live it down
Thirteen and Cameron kiss & fall in love & babysit Taub's kids. House makes relentless jokes but is quietly very fond of them and their relationship. Pls i need this
Foreman has a twitter/X account where he posts a combination of work out tips/inspirational quotes (not as sweet as Kutner's blog, more grindset vibes yknow) but he gets mixed up in a pyramid scheme for protein powders and gets cancelled. Also potential for a sappy scene here where Foreman says he admires Kutner for not letting House's teasing about his blog get to him. They're besties now and make each other better.
Cuddy forces all of them to go on a wellness retreat. House and Wilson make a bet to see who can go the longest without speaking. It's not even a silent retreat, they're just like that. Also someone convinces Chase that the utility shed on the retreat is haunted.
The wellness retreat no speaking bet also def has potential for gay chicken. Like Wilson kisses House to see if that will get him to lose the bet. By the next morning neither of them know or care who lost the bet, they leave their room looking Extremely disheveled and return to the hospital very much together. Cuddy is not at all surprised. She planned this. Each of the ducklings hand her $100.
PPTH minecraft server. yeah
#im so tired#i have an assessment due in 6 days#time to speed read all of inferno#house md#gregory house#headcanon#hatecrimes md#house md headcanons#hilson#mouse bites#james wilson
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house md in 2020s headcanons
keep seeing people make these and i thought it was silly, so here’s my contributions:
- house finds wilson’s account on grindr and decides to catfish him. once the jig is up they silently decide to never acknowledge this again
- comphet cameron. nonnegotiable
- foreman has and posts somewhat frequently on instagram threads. nobody finds out because nobody else has threads
- before working at princeton-plainsboro taub specialized in BBLs
- house livestreams DDXs to put more pressure on the ducklings when he feels as though they’re underperforming. he has a decent amount of followers on twitch
- also i’m not sure how hospitals ran during the pandemic but i think at least one DDX during covid was conducted through among us. don’t ask me the logistics of that
- a few of chase’s old musical.ly videos resurface and he gets bullied for it relentlessly
- thirteen was one of the first people to reblog the weed smoking girlfriends post
- house and wilson watch love is blind, the ultimatum, love island, etc etc when skipping clinic duty & place bets on which couples are going to last and which aren’t
- despite dating at the time cuddy went to see oppenheimer and lucas went to see the barbie movie. at the same time in different theatres
- house makes a joke about someone having blue hair and pronouns. also that one post about how he spends two hours researching every pronoun in existence just to use the wrong one on someone would be real
- wilson listens to either broadway soundtracks on his way to work or hozier, no in between. he uses spotify but refuses to look at his wrapped out of fear
#house md#house md headcanons#gregory house#james wilson#allison cameron#eric foreman#robert chase#chris taub#remy thirteen hadley#lisa cuddy#this is such a silly trend i had a blast coming up with these#hatecrimes md
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One thing about Gregory House is that he's so ridiculous that I would believe almost any headcanon about him. Do you think he's secretly a phone sex operator? I can see that. You headcanon that he takes random vacations to go look for the Loc Ness Monster? Yup, he definitely does. Was he a part of a polygamous cult during college? That makes sense. Did he buy a Burkin? I bet he hides it in his closet. Do you think that he's secretly terrified of goldfish? Totally believable.
#he's so insane i love him#id believe any of these#genuinely#house md#house#greg house#gregory house#hate crimes md#hatecrimes md#housemd#house headcanons#house md headcanons#hugh laurie
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i know it's funny to say wilson is fucked up in ways the dsm 5 cannot describe but i think he also normal regular ppl mental illness... as in ocd. i think wilson has moral ocd. his thoughts yell at him that if he's anything other than kind and perfect, he's a horrible person. bad things will happen, and they'll all be his fault. like if he's a little harsh to his old patient with terminal cancer, their death will be on his hands. he knows realistically that it wouldn't be, but he actually cares so much about these people that he can't risk it. the idea scares him so much. and i don't think he's had it his whole life. maybe ocd traits as a kid, little things here and there, but not full-blown ocd. what triggered it was danny. he didn't pick up that night, danny disappeared, and he spiraled. he wasn't there to listen, to be kind, then something bad happened and his brain clung onto that. cause and effect.
i dunno if anyone else sees this or agrees, but it makes sense to my silly little ocd riddled brain
#house#house md#james wilson#headcanon#house md headcanons#there's probably a whole lotta projection in this post (as always)#i don't struggle with moral ocd but i do still in fact have ocd#ocd
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Greg house smut please!!!!
Smut Headcanons w/Greg House
An: I know its an older fandom, but I was honestly surprised by the lack of House smut on this app.
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Warnings: smut, talks of kinks, talks of insecurities, fem!reader, House being house
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House md taglist: none yet. Let me know if you want added
Greg is very open about what you do in bed together. You’re both there to enjoy yourselves, so you might as well get over the awkwardness
He would be relatively open to trying new things, but not everything.
He would try things like light bondage or blindfolds, but not hard core bdsm or anything.
Prefers you to call him Greg in bed, sir and daddy take the wind pit of his sales.
Although you called him Dr. House once and it definitely did something to him down there
He really likes quickies, especially at work. He’ll pull the curtains down and fuck you in his office.
Hell, he’s probably snuck you into Wilson’s office to do it if he pissed Greg off
“Greg, we cant to this im here,” you hissed as his hands explored your body before pulling your shirt over your head. “Why? Think i cant make you cum before he gets back? Besides, if he didn’t want us doing this the door would have been locked.” “It was, we broke in.” “Ops?”
He is a GOD at giving head. Cam have you Cumming on his face multiple times before he even thinks about fucking you.
Plus a few times on his fingers
He’s definitely a bit insecure about his leg. He’s sure the withered, missing muscle looks awful, plus it makes it difficult to stay up to fuck you for to long.
Luckily, he thinks you look like a goddess when you ride him. He gets to play with your bouncing tits while you fuck yourself on his dick.
He is such a boob man! Could play with them for hours, pinching and sucking Your nipples to hear your gorgeous moans and whines.
He’s a huge tease, and given how he acts around most people he can do it any time. No one thinks of anything when he makes a suggestive comment, the only clue would be your blushing figure.
Im the same breath, its easy to work him up. A low cut shirt or slight brush against his crotch will have you both fucking in some brome closet 
#house md#request#gregory house#greg house#gregory house x reader#greg house x reader#house md smut#headcanons#house md headcanons#smut headcanons#greg house smut#gregory house smut
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House MD 2024 Headcanons
Cuddy implements medical AI to help out with diagnosing patients faster. The whole episode is dedicated to House outsmarting the computer. Obnoxiously. (cue the futility of machine learning.) parallel to House vs God
Chase is a Twitch streamer. He is partial to fortnite. He has 34 devoted viewers, and that is all.
13 is an avid tumblr user, and is popular for her series, "Quotes from my Boss." Wilson follows her, but he never mentions it.
When Cameron gets fully pissed at House, she uploads her POV to Reddit's AITA page. Is it skewed? Absolutely.
Taub plays pickleball a lot.
Foreman discovers slam poetry. No further elaboration.
Wilson kills a man. House helps him evade law enforcement. Season finale?
Kutner gets really good at fortnite so he can humiliate chase on twitch. he regularly antagonizes him, and Chase has a sworn vendetta against the elusive 920NoScope69.
Cuddy closely follows the health gurus online. She gives herself oral flush by trying to make sourdough bread with her own yeast. She deletes Instagram permanently.
Paintball episode
House watches Young Sheldon as a guilty pleasure. He hates it. He loves it.
Cameron and 13 both discover crochet. They make eachother hats every holiday season. Cameron wears her hat every time the weather dips below 55 degrees.
House develops his own hot sauce line. Wilson finds it tasteful. He gifts Cuddy a few sauces for her birthday. She enjoys it with eggs.
#House md#house md headcanons#2024#hatecrimes md#house headcanons#greg house#dr wilson#13#taub#lisa cuddy#robert chase#eric foreman
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i headcanon that house didn’t have anyone as his medical proxy for a long time after stacy because he’d lost all trust in them and eventually just forgot to appoint one but either sometime before the start of the show or during it he gets injured pretty badly and while he comes out of it okay and without needing any decisions to be made by another party it’s recommended that he needs to appoint a medical proxy for the future and without a moment of hesitation house chooses wilson
#i also think that house is wilson’s proxy since his divorce from bonnie because he reluctantly admits then#that house is the most stable presence in his life#house md#hilson#greg house#james wilson#house md headcanons#headcanons
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House MD 2020s Headcannons
- house and wilson drunkenly married in vegas a year after they met. everyone knows this but no one knows exactly what the nature of their relationship is (wilson refuses to talk about it and house starts talking about cuddy's breasts)
- adams is a horse girl
- park is a non-binary lesbian
- chase and foreman hook up whenever they're bored. they think nobody knows (everyone does)
- while cameron and chase are dating, someone figures out that their hr files have the same address as foreman
- the mother of taub's daughter (not rachel) is a mommy blogger. her followers find out about taub's other daughter and try to get him cancelled (taub only has a facebook account he rarely uses)
- masters works as a dominatrix on the side while attending med school and working for house
- there's no covid episode
- thirteen and foreman never date
- someone makes fancams of all the doctors that have worked for house, house, cuddy and wilson. no one can figure out who it is (it's nurse jeffery, who is trying to use them to frame house and get him fired)
#house md#robert chase#gregory house#james wilson#eric foreman#chi park#jessica adams#chris taub#house md headcanons#remy thirteen hadley#allison cameron
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Modern House M.D headcanons
this is my contribution to the fandom
NSFW implied!!
chase is ftm
cameron is a lesbian, she realized this after dating chase (discovered lesbian sex and she couldn’t think for a week straight after)
both cameron and house have autism
house has been banned from twitter due to his very “controversial” takes (he got mass reported so twitter revoked his privileges)
house will spend hours fighting people in the comments of any social media post
chase’s only fans account got leaked, and he was the main topic of all ppth staff for the week.
thirteen wrote smut in university and got quite the following online
cameron and kutner were into superwholock
hilson is canon (this one is a given)
chase would take .5 photos of everyone (consensual or not) and post them to his public instagram account solely dedicated for .5’s of ppth’s staff
a tiktok star comes in with some “undiagnosable” condition, and house goes to visit the patient to solely learn how to do tiktok dances
cut to house making tiktoks on wilson’s balcony, while he’s with a patient AND his team is busy trying to solve the case.
house lost a bet and had to wear a go pro at work, and the whole “house cam” was live-streamed on twitch
house has lightening mcqueen crocs and wears then constantly (they also match his flame cane)
house was dared to play rush e, and somehow got through a good chunk of the piece.
“forgive me father for i freaked it” chase on (modern) “house vs god”
chase would post THOSE pov videos and thirst traps on tiktok, with out his face in the frame but one of them
cuddy: chase can you come here i need to talk to you
house: ooOoO you made mommy angy
chase goes out into the hall w cuddy
cuddy: can you please explain this?
shows him her phone with his face reveal post, then proceeds to scroll down to one of his thirst traps
s/o to @privatehousesanatomy @blue-boulder and @desire-mona
#house md#zee zee watches: house md#zee zee’s thoughts#hate crimes md#house md headcanons#modern house md#mouse bites md
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Once again thinking about House + food issues
House grew up in a household where “if you were two minutes late for dinner, you didn’t eat.” It follows there would have been other rules surrounding food, likely things like “this is what’s for dinner, eat it or you don’t eat” and “you have to finish what’s on your plate.”
I feel like this would be a possible explanation for why he steals Wilson’s food so often.
House is conditioned to eat whatever is on his plate and finish it. House is smart guy though, and would likely find work arounds to his own issues/behaviours, ie: if it’s not on HIS plate the rules don’t apply.
It would explain why House sometimes eats off Wilson’s plate and sometimes gets his own. If House likes what’s available in the cafeteria and feels he can finish a portion of it he makes Wilson buy him lunch.
However, if he is unsure if he likes what’s available he’ll eat off Wilson’s plate and if he doesn’t like it it’s okay because it isn’t his meal, there is no pressure to eat more.
Same goes for if House isn’t particularly hungry but recognizes he should eat something (could be lots of reasons for this but gotta throw in my personal headcanon of autistic House having poor interoception so he doesn’t always feel hunger, thirst etc but will sometimes go “I haven’t eaten in a while, I probably should.”) and so he tries a bite of Wilson’s food and if he likes it, he steals half. The small portion is more manageable when he is experiencing low appetite and is less stressful to need to finish.
#house md#james wilson#hate crimes md#greg house#hilson#dr house#dr wilson#gregory house#wilson x house#house/wilson#autistic greg house#house md headcanons
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Kay. So yk when House takes Cameron ona date in S1?
While House is getting ready, Wilson’s just chilling on the couch (btw Wilson your married, hello what ru doing, mmm?) and while House is doing his tie, he becomes frustrated and takes it off.
BUT in the next scene he has it on again
So.
I like to imagine Wilson did his tie for him.
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Hey can I collect your favorite Kutner headcanons
Mine are
- he loves any snacky food. Popcorn. Grapes. Cereal. If it’s easily palatable and he can pop it in his mouth he loves it.
- night owl, but not super night owl. If he could set his own sleep schedule, it’d be 12a/1a - 8a/9a.
- still has PTSD dreams sometimes & wakes up w a particular symptom
- permanently touch starved bc trauma made it hard for him to touch ppl or let them in but he’s a super snuggly dude
- should own a dog. would love a very excitable creature like a Frenchie or a Border Collie. Does not own a dog bc he thinks he couldn’t care for it well with his job
- afraid of chihuahuas
- loves cheesy carnivals but gets nervous in the mirror funhouse
- believes in aliens (something something math except he just high key believes in alien sightings) & wants to go to Roswell
#house md#lawrence kutner#hate crimes md#hatecrimes md#headcanons#house md headcanons#dogs#chihuahuas#ptsd#ptsd mention#food
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hi!! saw your post!! would love to hear you talk more about house md! what was it you said about qpr house?
Hello!! Thanks for asking! :D
so personally I see hilson as a queer platonic relationship, and this hc has tons of canon ammo for it!
House and wilson are a lot closer than most best friends are, and usually people think of this as because they are romantically attracted to each other, and thats cool and all but I feel like people are missing the huge potential for a queer platonic hilson
Throughout the whole show, house and wilson are there for each other in a way that nobody else is, they support and understand the other half of the relationship in a way that no other person throughout the whole show is ever able to do
Wilson in particular is time and time again shown to be more dedicated and loyal to house than any of his wives, I strongly think that wilson's last 2 marriages broke because of this dedication. In typical romantic relationships having that level of devotion to a friend is hugely frowned upon, many considering it to be an emotional affair. Wilson's ex-wives wanted to know that they were his number 1 priority, but instead they knew that house was.
Through the whole show, house puts up a stony asshole exterior, never letting anyone see his care for what it is. Instead, he tries to help while also trying to make himself look like as much as a jerk as possible. The only person who can see that for what it is without calling it out is wilson.
Wilson knows that house would be disturbed if anyone picked up on it and commented on it, so wilson doesnt.
One example that comes to mind is when house hires a child actor to pretend to be wilson's son (ok but why does nobody ever talk about that episode???)
wilson is regretting that he doesnt have a child of his own, and any other person from the hospital would have a reassuring conversation with him about it, but house cannot allow himself to be seen as a comforting, nice, or "soft" figure. (possibly due to his trauma from his father, but honestly i could make a whole post about that)
so house does the most insane thing he can think of. in any other person it would be considered extremely mean, or cruel, and many other people in the show would interpret it that way. but wilson understands house better than he understood any of his wives, and so when it is revealed that the kid is an actor he is barely mad at house, wilson knows that house loves him (platonically in this hc) and house knows that wilson understands.
many people say that there is no platonic explanation for their commitment to each other, but I find that interpritation very limiting from my aromantic point of view. While romantic perspectives on hilson are super fun, all the potential for a qpr is already canon and I have yet to see anyone talk about it
I could probably say a lot more about this hc, this post is already pretty long so I am going to wrap it up here ^_^ I am so glad people wanted to hear about this!
#thinking about their relationship as a qpr really helped me think about my own qpr and aroace-ness#so this holds a special place in my heart#if anyone wants to hear me ramble more let me know! I always want to share more but talking into the void gets very lonely#house md#hilson#hate crimes md#gregory house#greg house#dr house#james wilson#dr wilson#wilson house md#house md headcanons#qpr positivity#qpr#qpr pride#queerplatonic#queer platonic relationship#queer platonic partner#arospec#aroace
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