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#but that general set-up? i am ON BOARD
areyouwho-ithinkyouare · 10 months
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honestly i really do get the appeal of having separate bedrooms even when in a serious relationship/marriage/partnership. i love having my own space to retreat to. a nest i can tuck myself away into. i love being able to decorate my room exactly how i want it and not having to compromise to someone else’s taste - it’s a space specifically designed to be as relaxing as possible FOR ME. and i don’t think that i’d lose that just bcus i fall in love with someone. and i don’t want THEM to compromise on that shit either, i want them to have their perfect personal sanctuary as well. and it’s not like we can’t set foot in each other’s rooms or spend nights in each other’s beds it’s just - it’s the knowledge that you have that nest. that when you need that retreat, it’s there. there’s so much weird stigma and judgement about what separate rooms must say about the state of your relationship but like. no i get it i absolutely get it.
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just-browsing1222 · 3 months
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Watch me do the absolute LEAST necessary things for starting a solo rpg.
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nondualiber · 1 month
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how to make shifting process more entertaining & not loose motivation
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make dr playlists: this is genuinely so much fun. it helps a lot with setting the mood & you could listen to it when unmotivated.
spice up your affirmations: for example, instead of saying basic affs ("i am in my dr") you could be more deilusional & rant like if you were actually there, or highlight things about your dr to motivate you. e.g: "i am in my harry potter dr and omg why did i thought this was a good idea my butt is BURNING from all the walking... hogwarts is TOO fkn big, yesterday fred almost casually blew up a hallway n i had to run for my life. this is a call 4 help..." (directly copied and pasted from my friend's notion ☝️☝️). you can even create stories and use them as affirmations
create a shifting journal: TOP TIER TIPS. there you can write entries as if you were in your dr - not only it helps with visualizing and manifesting but also you can write down everytime you try, things you liked and disliked & symptoms you had to help you understand what works for you
pinterest wardrobe boards: self explanatory. this can also be made with your dr aesthetic in general
change methods weekly/monthly & try fun methods: in my opinion, the most fun methods are the lucid dream method, adhd method, and void state method, but that's up to you
bonus: try to shift during full moon. not because it increases your posibilities to shift (it does NOT, the moon phase has nothing to do with shifting unless you assume it does ofc) but because it's super cool as a concept, like "today's full moon so i can go to a paralel reality"?? IDK it just gives main character energy. i love shifting when it's full moon
if you know other methods or tips, reblog/leave a comment 🫶🏾
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copperbadge · 1 year
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Hey Sam! Since it's currently AO3 donation time, I'm wondering what your thoughts are on it? I'm asking because you've written RPF and it's one of many "anti-AO3/anti-AO3 donations" people's favourite things to bring up when they're complaining about AO3 getting so many donations that it continuously obtains an excess of its donation goal whenever donation time rolls around? (Wow, how many times can I say "donation" in an ask?) Sorry if this question bothers you! I don't mean to offend or annoy.
Hey anon! Sorry it took a while to get to this, I don't even know if the drive is still going on, but the question came in while I was traveling and I didn't really have the time for stuff that wasn't travel-related. In any case, let's dig in! (I am not offended, no worries.)
So really there are two issues here and as much as some people who are critical of AO3 want to conflate them, they are different. While some criticism of AO3 may be valid, rhetoric against AO3 tends to misinterpret both in separate ways.
First there's the issue of what AO3 hosts -- RPF, yes, but more broadly, varied content that some people find distasteful or think should be illegal, which is a misunderstanding of the purpose of the archive and more broadly a dangerous attitude towards the concept of freedom of expression.
Second, there's the issue of AO3 generally outpacing its fundraising goals while not allowing monetization, which is a misunderstanding of the legal status of AO3 and to an extent a misunderstanding of philanthropy as a whole.
The longer I watch debates about content go on, the more I come to the conclusion that I was fortunate to have a teacher who really wanted to instill in us an understanding of free speech not as a policy but as an ongoing dialogue. It's not only that freedom of expression "protects you from the government, not the Justin" as the meme goes, but also that freedom of expression is not a static thing. It's an ongoing process of identifying what we find harmful in society and what we want to do about it.
Should the freedom to shout "Fire!" in a crowded theater be restricted? Should the freedom to yell slurs at drag performers? Should the freedom to teach prepubescent kids about gender, sexuality, and/or safe sex? Should the freedom to wear a leather puppy hood at Pride? Who gets to say, and why?
I was nine when my teacher did a unit on freedom of speech and the intersection of "harm prevention" and "censorship", which is (and should be) a discussion, not a set of ironclad rules. This ambiguity has thus been with me for over thirty years, and I'm comfortable with the ambiguity, with the process; I'm not sure a lot of people critical of AO3's content truly are. Perhaps some can't be, especially those affected by hate speech, but RPF is not hate speech. It's just fiction. Or is fiction "just fiction"? This is a question society as a whole is grappling with, although fandom seems to be a little out ahead of society in terms of how explicitly we discuss it.
The idea that prose can incite violence or cause harm is both valid to examine (witness the rise of fascism on the radio in the 20s, on Facebook and Twitter in the past ten years; they're very similar processes) and a very slippery slope. Because again: who decides what harm is, and what causes it, and what we do about it? Our values align us with certain beliefs, but those are only our values, not universal truths. So AO3 is part of the ongoing question of harm and benefit both to society and individuals.
AO3 itself, however, has a fairly defined policy that it is not meant to police content; it is an archive, not a bookstore or a school board. AO3 refines its TOS and policies as necessary, but the goal is always open access and as much freedom of expression as possible, and if that's uncomfortable for some people then that's a discussion we have to have; ignoring it won't make it go away. But it has to be a discussion, it can't be a unilateral change to the archive's TOS or a series of snaps and clapbacks, and I don't see a lot of people ready to move beyond flinging insults. Perhaps because they were taught a much more binary view of freedom of expression than I was.
So, self-evidently, I support AO3 and I don't have a problem with RPF. Whether other people do is something we're going to have to get to grips with, and that's likely to be a process that is still going on when most of us are dust. I'd rather have a century of ambiguity than a wrong answer tomorrow, anyway.
But whether AO3 hosts RPF is truly a separate issue from its donation drives, because it's a criticism some people level at the site which exists whether it's fundraising or not. So people can criticize AO3's open policy and they can give it as a reason not to support the site, but it's just one aspect of the archive and the fundraising as a whole should be examined separately.
I think AO3's fundraisers are deeply misunderstood (sometimes on purpose) because even people who are anticapitalist get a little crazy when money gets involved, and this is, to fandom, a lot of money -- a few hundred thousand, reliably, every fundraiser. To me, a fundraiser that pulls in three hundred grand is almost quaint; my current nonprofit pulls in better than ten million a year and my previous employer had an endowment of several billion dollars. At my old job I didn't even bother researching people who couldn't give us a hundred grand.
On the other hand, AO3 is an extreme and astounding outlier in the nonprofit world, because basically it's the only one of its kind to work the way it does. It is entirely volunteer-run on the operational side (ie: tag wranglers, coders, lawyers, etc) and has no fundraising staff (gift officers, researchers, outreach officers) as far as I'm aware. To pull in three hundred grand from individual one-time donations, without any paid staff and without even a volunteer fundraising officer? That's insane. That doesn't happen. Except at AO3.
What people misunderstand, however, is the basic status of a nonprofit, which is a legal status, not simply a social one. (I'm adding in some corrections here since it gets complicated and the terminology can be important!) The Organization for Transformative Works, the parent of AO3, is a nonprofit, which indicates how it was incorporated as an organization; additionally it is registered federally as tax-exempt, which carries certain perks, like not paying sales tax, and certain duties, like making their financials transparent to a certain extent. (Religious nonprofits are exempt from the transparency requirement.) If you're interested in more about nonprofits and tax-exempt status a reader dropped a great article here.
Nonprofits, unlike for-profit companies, cannot pay a share of their income to stakeholders. Nonprofits don't have financial stakeholders, only donors. They can have employees and pay them a salary -- that's me, for example -- but if a nonprofit pulls in $10M in donations, my salary is paid from that, I don't get a percentage and nobody else does either. That's what it means to be a nonprofit -- the money above operational costs goes back into the organization. The donations we (and AO3) receive must be plowed under and used for outreach, server maintenance, further fundraising, services expansion, et cetera. You can see this in the 990 forms on Guidestar or ProPublica, or in their more accessible breakdowns on Charity Navigator. Nonprofits that do not put the majority of their income towards service provision tend to get audited and lose their nonprofit status. So nobody's getting paid from all that money, and the overage that isn't spent goes into what is basically a savings account in the name of the nonprofit. (I'm vastly simplifying but that's the gist.) Using that money for personal purposes is illegal. It's called "private inurement" and there's a good article here about it. The money belongs to the OTW as a concept, not to anyone in or of the OTW.
So the biggest misunderstanding that I see in people who are mad at AO3 fundraisers is that "they" are getting all this money (who "they" are is never clearly stated but I'm pretty sure people think @astolat has a special wifi router that runs on burning hundred dollar bills) while "we" can't monetize our fanfic. But "they" get nothing -- nobody even earns a salary from AO3 -- and you can easily prove that by looking at the 990 forms they file with the government, which are required to be made public. You can see the most recently available 990, from 2020, here at Guidestar. Page seven will show you the "highest compensated" employees, all of whom are earning zero dollars or nonmonetary perks (that's the three columns on the right).
Either AO3 is entirely volunteer-run or someone's Doing A Real Fraud. The money the OTW spends is documented (that's page 10 and 11 primarily) and while they may pay for, say, the travel and lodging expenses of a lawyer going to DC to defend a freedom-of-expression case, they don't pay the lawyer for their time, or give them a cut of the income.
Despite what you've read, the reason "we" can't monetize our fanfics on AO3 has nothing to do with the site being the product of volunteer handiwork or AO3 having it in their terms of service or it being considered gauche by some to do so; it's because
IT'S ILLEGAL.
I cannot say this loudly enough: It is against the law for a nonprofit to be used by its staff, volunteers, or beneficiaries to earn direct profit from the services provided by the nonprofit.
You can be paid to work at one, but you cannot side-hustle by selling your handmade friendship bracelets for personal gain on the nonprofit's website. If the nonprofit knowingly allows monetization of its services, it can lose nonprofit status, be fined, be hit with back taxes, and a lot of other unpleasant bullshit can go down, including prosecution of those involved for fraud. If you put a ko-fi link on your fanfic, you are breaking the law, and if AO3 allows it, they are too.
Okay, that was a sidebar, but in some ways not, because it gets to the heart of the real complaints about AO3 fundraising, which is that people in fandom are sick or unhoused or in some form of need and other people in fandom are giving to AO3, a fan site that is financially stable, instead of giving to peoples' gofundmes or dropping money in their Ko-Fi or Paypal. And while it is a legitimate grievance that there are people who are in such desperate need while we live in an era of unprecedented abundance, that's not AO3's fault. AO3 doesn't solicit actively, there's no unasked-for mailings or calls from a gift officer. They just put a banner up on their website, and people give. (Again, this is incredibly outlier behavior in the nonprofit world, I'd do a case study on it but the conclusion would just be "shit's real, yo.") You might as well be mad that people give to their local food bank instead of someone's ko-fi.
You cannot lay at AO3's feet the fact that people want to give to AO3 instead of to your fundraiser. That's a choice individuals have made, and while you can engage with them in terms of why they made the philanthropic choices they did, to blame an organization they supported rather than the person who made the choice to give is not only incorrect but futile, and unlikely to win anyone over to supporting you. We know from research that guilt is not a tremendous motivator of philanthropy.
It is also not necessarily a binary choice; just because AO3 gets a hundred grand in $5 donations doesn't mean most of the people giving don't also give $5 elsewhere. I support the OTW on occasion, and I also fundraise for UNICEF and the Chicago Parks Foundation and BAGLY and others, in addition to giving monthly to several nonprofits that I have longterm relationships with -- my alma mater, the animal rescue where I got the Cryptids, my shul. And I give, occasionally and anonymously, to fundraisers that pass through Radio Free Monday, which are mainly individuals in need, because I was once in need and now I pay it forward. These are the choices I have made. Nobody twisted my arm. I respond poorly to someone making the attempt to do so by attacking places I've given.
I think the upshot is, after all of this that I've written, that we cannot begin to come to grips with questions of institutional inequality in philanthropy, or freedom of expression and censorship, until people actually understand what's going on, and too few do. So all I can do is try and explain, and hopefully create a forum for people to learn and grow when it comes to charitable giving.
Archive Of Our Own and the Organization for Transformative Works are products of our community and as that community changes, we will necessarily continue to re-evaluate what aspects of it mean and how AO3/OTW express the community sentiment. I hope that the ongoing discussion of support for AO3 also leads to people learning more about their philanthropic options. But criticizing AO3 for fundraising by attacking it for fulfilling one of its stated purposes is silly, and attempting to guilt people into giving in the ways one thinks they should give rather than how they do give is just going to make one extremely unlikable.
As members of this community, we have to be a part of the push and pull, but it's difficult to do that competently in ignorance. So, I do my best to be knowledgeable and to educate my readers, and I hope others will do the same.
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kaiijo · 7 months
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WORK WIFE — KUROO TETSUROU
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pairing: kuroo tetsurou x fem! reader content: fluff, timeskip! kuroo (he’s so sexy)
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you’re not really sure when kuroo started calling you his ‘work wife,’ but you honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. like many of your colleagues, you’ve been taken in by his teasing smile and charm and the way he brings you your coffee and bagel in the morning, just the way you like it. “good morning, wifey,” he says as he hands you your breakfast with a flourish. “vanilla latte with oat milk and an extra shot of espresso and a toasted everything bagel with cream cheese.” 
you smile and thank him, sliding the bagel out from the waxy paper bag. you glance back inside and sheepishly open your mouth but kuroo beats you to the punch. “and, of course, your stirrer.” he sticks his hand in the pocket of his slate gray slacks and produces a wooden stirrer. 
you chuckle, “you keep those in your pants just for me?”
“a gentleman always is prepared for a lady!”
“‘gentleman,’” you snort. 
kuroo presses a hand over his heart. “i am a gentleman through and through!”
“uh-huh, keep telling yourself that.” you take a sip of your drink. “but thanks again for breakfast.”
he pats your head and sings out, “anything for my favorite work wife!”
“i better be your only one!” he laughs loudly at your reply, the sound bouncing off the walls as he heads down the hall to his office. 
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when lunchtime rolls around, kuroo, as usual, appears in your doorway with his lunch in hand. he never has the same thing, you’ve come to learn; today’s meal is grilled fish over rice, and kuroo asks, “up for a lunch date?”
you try to fight the warmth rising to your cheeks, still not used to his wording despite the many times he’s asked the exact same thing. you shake your head and sigh, “unfortunately, i’m behind on inputting the quarter two estimations so i think i’ll be working through lunchtime.”
kuroo still walks into your office and comes around to look at your computer screen. “have you been doing these all by hand?”
“yeah?”
“here, there’s an easier way to generate these estimates.” with a few clicks and keystrokes, you watch as numbers and figures fill the spreadsheet cells before your very eyes. you slump back in your chair, relieved. you glance up at kuroo. he’s so close that you can very clearly smell the way his cologne mingles with his minty toothpaste. your breath hitches as he stares down at you with pride. “you’re a lifesaver.”
“had to save my lunch time with my work wife.”
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you stifle a yawn as you save your last pitch for the budget board and power off your computer. you looked out the window, the sun beginning to set on the horizon. you roll your chair away and stretch your hold body out, humming in relief as someone knocks on your door. it’s not hard to guess who it is. “come in.”
“hey,” kuroo pokes his head inside, blazer folded across his arm and his lanyard in hand. “ready to go?”
“yep, let me just get my stuff.” you gather your things and sling your bag over your shoulder, locking up your office and following kuroo out. you walk side-by-side in comfortable, tired silence until you get out of the building. “how was the merch presentation?”
“oh, it went really well,” he says. “thanks for letting me co-opt your time for rehearsal.”
“you know i always have time for you.”
kuroo gives you a smile that’s almost way too soft and sweet for you to handle, and you quickly avert your eyes to the street in front of you as you two come to the metro stop. he asks about how your younger brother is settling into college and you inquire about his grandparents, and it’s an endless stream of conversation as you two board the metro together. 
“oh,” kuroo says suddenly, voice shifting to a quieter tone. “i’ve been meaning to ask, do you want to—?”
you desperately want to hear the end of his question but you’re coming up to your stop and you have to hurry home to walk your dog. “sorry! text me the question?”
he shakes his head. “i’ll tell you later. see you tomorrow, wifey.”
you wave to him over the shoulder as the doors close behind you, and you’re left with a warm feeling in your chest and burning curiosity about what he’ll ask you. 
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it’s the next day when your boss calls you into her office, asking you to let the newest employee to the sports promotion division shadow you for a little while until he gets the hang of what you guys do. his name’s nakamura eijun and he seems nice enough so you agree.
nakamura’s in your office as you go over how the jva’s filing and record-keeping online works when kuroo comes in with your daily breakfast. you sit up straighter, ready for him to finish whatever question he was about to ask. 
he stops short when he sees nakamura and asks, “new guy?” nakamura nods and introduces himself, to which kuroo responds with an enthusiastic “i’m kuroo tetsurou. welcome to the team!” and without your usual banter, kuroo drops off your bagel and coffee and leaves without another word. 
he peeks into your office again at lunch and you’re about to wave him inside, but he shakes his head and says, “i’ll come back later!”
he doesn’t. you don’t see kuroo for the rest of the day, which makes your heart sink. it’s the first time in months that he hasn’t followed the unconscious routine the two of your started. you try to look at the silver-lining. kuroo (and thinking about kuroo) is your main distraction of the day, so maybe it was a good thing he didn’t show up so you couldn’t make a fool of yourself. 
what unnerves you, though, is that the following days are much the same. kuroo silently brings you your breakfast and peeks in every now and then, smile never quite meeting his eyes as he sees you eating with nakamura in your office. the days stretch to weeks and you realize two things: one — that kuroo’s avoiding you, and two — nakamura’s a lot less capable than you thought he would be, given that he’s still shadowing you after about two and a half weeks. 
thankfully, you get a little reprieve when nakamura informs you that he’s out sick for the day. you perk up when kuroo comes in with your breakfast and give him your chirpiest “good morning.”
he leans up against your doorframe, glancing around. “your new work husband’s not here today?”
“what are you talking about?”
he says, “your new work husband. he have some emergency or something?”
you frown at his tone. “sorry, let me be more specific. who are you talking about?”
“nakamura,” he responds. finally, he crosses the threshold and hands you your bagel and coffee, the stirrer already inside the bagel bag. he plops down heavily in his chair, arms folded across his chest. 
“you know you’re my one and only,” you say, offering a smile. when he doesn’t reply, your smile fades and you ask, “why do you think he’s my new work husband?”
“he’s been telling everyone that you two spend so much time together that he might as well be.”
you can’t help but roll your eyes and you reach across the desk, tapping your hand on the surface to get kuroo’s attention. he finally meets your gaze and you say, “we’ve been spending a lot of time together because sakura asked me to let him shadow and he’s—” you lower your voice to a conspiratorial whisper, prompting kuroo to lean in closer, “—not very smart.”
“really?” 
you watch as the tension kuroo held in his shoulders disappeared and something like relief washed across his features. you can’t help but laugh a little, “really. is that what got you so grumpy these past few days?”
“hey!” he protests, “i wasn’t grumpy. pouty, maybe, but definitely never grumpy.”
“sure, sure.” you pause and then ask, “why were you so bothered by nakamura saying he’s like my work husband?”
kuroo’s face flushes and with an uncharacteristic shyness, he says, “because, y’know, that’s— that’s our thing. and i’m not too keen on letting someone steal my wife away.”
“good to know you’re a protective husband.”
he chuckles and says, “well, gotta get back to the trenches. those advertisement pitches aren’t going to pitch themselves.”
“don’t i know it.”
as he goes to leave, he hesitates in the doorway. then, he turns back to you and asks, “would you like to have dinner with me tonight? if you’re not doing anything, of course.”
your eyebrows raise but you can’t help the bright smile from breaking across your face. “yeah, that sounds great.”
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a year and a half later.
nakamura and you are sitting in the conference room, brainstorming ways to help boost the sendai frogs’s popularity. nakamura taps his pen against his chin and suggests, “maybe we should tell koganegawa to stop yelling so much?”
“no, their fans like his enthusiasm,” you say. 
“well, tsukishima’s their most popular player… maybe we can ask him to ramp up the fanservice. as in, do any.”
you snort but before you can make some snarky comment about how that absolutely will not happen, a voice comes from behind you. “you’re signing a death wish with that. no way tsukki’ll bite.”
nakamura’s face sours and he mumbles something as kuroo towers over both of you. you grin at him in greeting and give him a playfully chastising look, adding, “you’re right but you know it’s rude to interrupt a conversation.”
“just making sure my wife—” he gives nakamura a very pointed look, “—knows who she’s dealing with.”
you quirk an eyebrow. “your wife is a very capable woman, thank you very much.”
he smirks and bends down closer, deepening his tone. “oh, i know.”
nakamura scowls. “we get it, she’s your work wife.”
“actually…” kuroo’s shit-eating grin grows wide like a cat who got the cream and simultaneously, both of you hold up your left hands, matching silver bands glinting under the fluorescent lights. “she’s my wife-wife now.”
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malusokay · 1 year
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2023 reset guide
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Glow up
2023 vision board. Visualize your dream 2023 and write down your goals!
Daily Hot girl walks. No excuses, babes; let's get moving!
Reflecting on 2022. Look back at what you've accomplished and what you could have done differently.
Make a Bucketlist. Write down places you want to visit and things you want to do.
Extended self-care. Take some time to yourself to recover from the stressful holidays and get back on track. <3
Buy a good SPF. Do some research and find something that works for you!
Start Investing in yourself. Money, time, and energy. Put yourself first!
Annual check-ups. Make a dentist appointment, go to the optometrist etc...
Buy a Silk pillowcase. Protect your skin and hair!
Set clear boundaries. And make sure that people respect them!
Less screen time. Self-explanatory.
Manicure, lash lift, haircut. High maintenance to be low maintenance! ;)
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Wellness
Daily vitamins. Visit a doctor to discuss which ones you should be taking for the best results.
Morning stretches. Wake up your body and drink some water!
Skin/hair care. It's time to find products that actually work for you.
Reading more literature. Set yourself a daily reading goal.
Planned grocery lists. Make a grocery list that aligns with your dietary needs and goals to make shopping less stressful. <3
Less coffee. Especially if you struggle with anxiety!!
More greens and protein. Let's give our body what it needs.
Journaling. Truly helps with overthinking!!
8 hours of sleep. Beauty sleep. <3
Cooking for yourself. Such a cute form of daily self-care.
Yoga. Or just any low-impact exercises in general.
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Deep cleaning
Organizing your closet. Only keep things that make you feel beautiful.
Budgeting. Check your bank account and plan ahead.
Clean your hairbrushes. Trust me...
Donating clothes. Donate the items that you don't wear anymore.
Clean your make-up brushes. The first step to clear skin!!
Fresh sheets. Wash your pillows too.
Charge your electronics. IPad, Mac, Camera etc...
Get rid of expired make-up and skincare. Step 2 to clear skin, lol.
Declutter stationary. No need to keep dried-out pens.
Delete old emails. I currently have 1840...
Delete unnecessary apps. Anything you don't need.
Clean your camera roll. Making some space for new memories! :)
Cut out toxic people. <3
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Mindset
Pretty, smart, kind, and prioritising myself.
Positive affirmations!!
Your daily habits play a huge role in your mood/life. Be mindful, and take care of yourself.
It's okay to outgrow people!!
Decide what kind of life you actually want and start saying no to everything that won't get you there.
"I'm attracting opportunities that align with my dream life."
A girl who will do big things can't let small things bother her.
Honestly, reinvent yourself over and over again until you are satisfied with who you are.
Do you want to be comfortable, or do you want to grow?
"Am I doing this for me, or am I performing for others?"
very high standards. VERY HIGH STANDARDS.
Be obsessed with yourself.
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2022 has been such a life-changing year for me, not only personally but also regarding my social media! As I already said on Twitter, I'm incredibly grateful for this little community that has formed this year, and I'm excited for all the things that lay ahead of us! I wish everyone a successful 2023 with many beautiful moments and lots of growth!!
✩‧₊*:・love ya ・:*₊‧✩
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on-leatheredwings · 1 month
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House Arrest
Yandere! Batfam / Bruce Wayne x (Fem!) Reader
For a request, Munchausen's syndrome by proxy with Bruce? Like, he keeps reader sick so she can't leave him or interact with someone outside the family. And maybe the rest of the batfam is in on it?
[a/n: Didn’t know if you wanted this platonic or not so I didn’t specify! In my head its romantic with bruce though lmao]
> word count: 1581
> Tw: gaslighting, munchausen’s syndrome by proxy, yandere-typical behaviors!
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You sit in anticipation, foot tapping against the stone floor. There’s an entire miniature hospital set up for you down here in the Batcave. Respirators, diagnostics machines, and other expensive medical equipment that would be better served in Gotham General. 
Helping people recover. 
So patients could some day leave. 
You used to love being in the Batcave. It was the family’s little secret. When you officially joined the family, the Batcave was now your secret as well. But ever since falling ill months ago, bedridden with a sickness whose cause continues to elude everyone… being here is depressing. You now notice it’s damp down here. Dark. Lifeless.
Bruce sits at the Batcomputer, the screen’s light painting over his face in a green wash. You watch his eyes scan line after line of your results. Reminds you of a typewriter. Methodical. Orderly. Nearly inhuman. When he sighs, your heart stops. 
Fuck.
He turns to you, face grave. “You’re still ill.” 
Your eyes start stinging with an onset of tears that you furiously try to blink back. 
“... H-How ill? How bad? Am I any better?” you ask, as if bartering with him will make the situation any different. As if bartering with God ever made any difference for mere mortals such as yourself.
Bruce’s face is still. 
“You haven’t improved.” 
Your hopes crash down around you like glass. You aren’t better at all? Even though you haven’t had a fever in weeks? Even though you’ve been working out with enough energy to keep up with Damian? He was exerting perhaps only 10% of his effort, but still. Your lymph nodes aren’t even swollen anymore. Tim had told you as much, accidentally contradicting Bruce’s insistence that they had been earlier that morning. 
“But I feel better,” you croak. You hear footsteps behind you approach and you swallow drily, nearly hissing at the offender. It’s Dick, and damn him. You don’t want to be placated right now.
“Are you experiencing any headaches? Shortness of breath?” Bruce asks, eyes still trained on you. You try to recall. 
“... I may have had a migraine this morning…” At Bruce’s weary shake of the head, you blurt, “But it’s passed. I’m perfectly fine. And no shortness of breath.”
“... I’m sorry. But if you’ve been having symptoms like that, along with your being immunocompromised…” Bruce doesn’t even have to finish the sentence. You won’t be leaving the Wayne Manor grounds for a long time. 
Fuck. 
Fuck. 
You feel a hand on your shoulder. You look up and see Dick, whose face is somber but offers an encouraging smile. 
“Well, I’m back in town for the time being. We can hang out all the time.” His expression brightens as an idea pops into his head. “And I can call Tim, Jason, Duke–! Maybe even Cass and Steph… We can have a board game night tonight!” He sounds as chipper as you are miserable.
Damian approaches from behind, leaving the shadows. His arms are folded. “If that’s the case, I’ll humor Grayson and let him capture some of my fleet for once.” A popular choice was Risk, perfect for the family who’s entire lives revolved around combat and strategy. But you didn’t want to play Risk again. You didn’t want to have a board game night, no matter how many of the family came. You wanted to see people. 
Other people. Everyone here is your family. 
You want fucking friends again. You wanted a job again – a sentiment you would’ve laughed at even just five months ago. You wanted any semblance of a life again.
Bruce’s eyes haven’t left your trembling form once, two chips of slate-gray peering over steepled hands.
“Thank you, Dick. Damian. But I think she could use some time alone.”
Dick’s hand releases your shoulder, retracting as if burned. None of them are the boss here. It’s Bruce who is my warden, your mind whispers darkly. 
“Right! Don’t want you to feel overwhelmed.” Dick sees himself out, taking Damian with him. “See you tonight.” And that feels like a sentencing to your fate.
Now the two of you alone, Bruce stands, offering his arm wordlessly. You know what this means. You take it, linking yours with his without thought or protest. Bruce liked to ensure you were always within his reach, as if you were prone to fainting spells. This was less humiliating for you than him carrying you through the estate, you suppose. 
“Why, yes, let’s take a turn around the grounds!” you used to exclaim, making your voice posh and British, mimicking the regency romance movies you had been watching all the time. 
Now, months later, you just sullenly allow him to lead you. Your surroundings pass by and you vaguely recognize that you are exiting the Batcave, walking through the manor, and out into the never-ending expanse of a well-kept lawn. 
It’s a sunny, idyllic spring day after months of overcast winter. 
And thank god you could still traipse outside when you wanted, even if fenced in. Bruce told you when you had first fallen ill that he had installed some high-tech, anti-air pollution gadget. Wayne Manor was effectively your own personal bubble. Fresh air was the only thing keeping you sane, lately. 
You two pass by the garden, a labor of love Alfred started. You and Damian tend to it now… and mainly the latter, these days. You haven’t had any energy for gardening as of late. Fatigue is a symptom, you hear Bruce’s voice whisper in the back of your mind. But you don’t feel fatigue… rather, just depressed. But of course, isn’t fatigue a symptom of being depressed…? A familiar brain fog crawls into your mind. Your head was starting to hurt.
You look across the lawn, onto the horizon. Gotham’s dark skyline sits there, enticing. When night falls, it’ll glimmer and twinkle with light. There is a whole world out there. And, God, you love the Waynes, but they aren’t the world. You need to distract yourself. Bruce, ever the lover of pleasant silences, is going to have to distract you from thoughts that make you want to leap off the second story balcony of your bedroom.
Should you ask, “How’s work?” No. You find you don’t care. 
“How’s Jason?” you say instead, feeling Bruce stiffen at the mention of his most tenuous relation.
He wasn’t around as much, but when he was, he was always relaxing with you in your room. You have a whole shelf for the knick knacks he brings. “Don’t worry. They’re clean,” he’d snort at his former mentor, because Bruce required everything to be thrice sanitized before coming into your possession.
“... Better.”
You’re glad. That’s one good thing, you guess. 
“Bruce,” you croak. 
He looks at you, face alight in expectation. 
“Maybe I should just go,” you say, small and weak. Your eyes don’t leave the sight of Gotham skyscrapers, stretching to the sky. Bruce stills, stopping you both in your tracks.
“What do you mean, ‘go’?” he says carefully.
You remove yourself from his arm and gesture to the city. “Just go. Leave. I mean, I can’t stay here forever.” Bruce looks genuinely confused, as much as he can. 
“Of course you can.”
“No, I can’t!” you screech. Frustrated, you tear at your hair. “I can just be an outpatient somewhere– I can go for hospital treatments every week– or everyday– whatever!
Bruce places his hands on your shoulders.
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
Rage flares in you and you gnash your teeth at him. By now, that all-too-familiar brain fog has flooded your brain. But you try to fight it. You have to fight it. Like trying to crawl out of rapidly-sinking quicksand, you fight it.
“I-I know what I’m saying. I’m saying–”
“You’re saying to just let you die,” Bruce sharply returns. “To give up, let you die, and leave us to grieve.” 
“No–”
“Stephanie.” 
You meet his eyes again at the name, which are resolute and as blue as ever. 
“Cassandra. Duke.” Your stomach churns, imagining their smiling faces, turned into ash as your hypothetical passing. “Barbara.” 
“Bruce,” you croak, pleading inwardly for him to stop. 
“Damian.” 
“Tim.”
“Jason.” 
“Dick. Alfred.” You duck your head and your eyes meet the ground. The listing of all your loved ones pinches your heart, and you feel nauseous. You weren’t trying to leave them. You didn’t want to leave them at all. 
“... Me.” 
Your eyes sting with tears again. Why did he have to make it sound like that? Like you were seeking some selfish want, rather than trying to improve your quality of life. You feel your ambition and desire wane under the weight of guilt. You feel all sense of struggle start to disintegrate, lost to the fog in your head. Lost. You’ve lost.
Bruce’s eyes scrutinize you.
“As I suspected. You’re acting delirious. Manic. Delusional.”
Any semblance of protest dies in your throat. 
“What?” you say. But Bruce is already leading you away towards the looming doors of Wayne Manor, away from the green of the grounds. Away from the light of the sun, and away from the skyline. He comforts you with familiar lines on the way to your bedroom. 
You need rest. Alfred will brew his tea for you. I’ll call the kids to come tonight. We can play Risk. He pats your shoulder, stroking soft, deceptively warm circles with his thumb.
“You just need some rest.” 
And not for the first time, you believe he may be right.
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daysofyellowroses · 3 months
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carmen berzatto x reader | 3.8k | tw: pregnancy, implied smut, general nonsense
“I need a favor.”
“A favor?”
“Yes. A favor.”
You were already beginning to regret asking, watching Carmy swivel in his chair and ponder the request. Or he was staring into space, it wasn't clear.
“Alright,” He nodded after a moment. “What is it?”
You took a deep breath, bracing yourself. It would have been easier to ask him to murder someone than what you were about to.
“It turns out that I am responsible for making 30 cupcakes for this Saturday and I could use some guidance.”
“I see,” Carmy nodded, pointing the spoon in his hand at you. “and what else? Sandwiches, burgers, hot dogs, stop me when I get the right one.”
You let out a sigh.
“And..three trays of sandwiches. And mini quiches, egg rolls, a crudités platter and a cake.”
“Okay,” Carmy sat up a little, lightly tapping the spoon against his cheek. “Just..a couple of questions.”
You walked closer to the desk, leaning against it and giving Carmy a nod. “Fire away.”
“First, why are you responsible for all of that?”
“Because apparently I promised my best friend if she ever got pregnant I would plan the entire baby shower.”
“Uh-huh. Why?”
“Because I was very, very intoxicated at her bachelorette party.”
He smirked a little, and you rolled your eyes with a small smile.
“Noted. Second question,”
“Third,” You interjected, holding up three fingers. “Technically.”
“Third question, is there a theme to this party?”
“No, of course not,” You frowned, folding your arms. “Themes are for kid's birthday parties and epic novels.”
“Hm, I thought so.”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“It just doesn't seem very..you know,” Carmy set the spoon down in his lap before interlocking his hands. “cohesive, I guess.”
You rested your hand on the desk, lightly tapping your nails on the surface.
“I'm willing to ignore that remark if you help me.”
“Alright, fourth question..why do I have to help you?”
You thought about it for a moment, working out your best angle to get him on board.
“Well..because I love my best friend and I want to give her an amazing experience, it's basically free publicity for the new restaurant, and we're..you know,” You gestured between yourself and Carmy with a grin. “We're friends. We're close. We kissed that time.”
“Yeah, yeah we did,” Carmy nodded, looking down for a moment before looking up with a smile. “When we were like..six? I don't see what that has to do with me adding to my already hectic schedule.”
“I would just really appreciate your help, even just a little guidance,” You smiled, holding your hands up. “What is the point of having a world-class chef as a friend if he doesn't help you out occasionally..”
“I promise to think about it,” Carmy nodded, picking his spoon back up and pointing at you. “Can you cook anything more advanced than french toast?”
“Depends on your definition of advanced,” You shrugged, pushing off the desk. “I look forward to your decision, I know you'll make the right one.”
“Get out of here,” Carmy rolled his eyes with a small smile. “I'll text you.”
You were heading to the front door when you bumped into Richie, who was carrying a box he promptly dropped on the nearest plastic-covered surface when he saw you, wiping his hands.
“Hey. What brings you here?”
“Me?” You gestured to yourself as you walked closer to Richie. “I just..I thought it was time. To declare my undying love for you.”
“Hm,” Richie nodded, rubbing his jaw before stepping closer to you and touching your shoulder. “I gotta be honest, I thought you'd never do it. Vegas wedding?”
“Vegas wedding,” You nodded with a grin. “Bye fuck-face.”
“See you later darling.”
It was the following afternoon when you got a very simple text from Carmy, relief flooding you as you read it.
‘Fine. Address?’
Opening your front door and seeing Carmen Berzatto standing on the other side was something you hadn't experienced for a long time, but it was a welcome return.
“Come on in, everything is set up in the kitchen,” You smiled, holding the door open and frowning slightly as you saw a worn grocery store bag in Carmy's hand. “Did you bring stuff when I told you that you didn't need to?”
“Sure did,” Carmy nodded, gesturing to his shoes. “Off? On?”
“Whatever you're comfortable with,” You waved your hand, gesturing to the bag. “I got everything, you really didn't need to waste your money on..liquid potassium or whatever, the food is not going to be anything too complicated.”
Carmy raised a brow as he slipped off his shoes. “You do know I'm a chef, not a mad scientist, right?”
“Oh shut up,” You sighed as he laughed, leading him into the kitchen.
“The fuck is liquid potassium anyway?”
“Here we are,” You spun around to face Carmy, gesturing to your humble kitchen, the dining table covered in various ingredients, in no particular order. “I really appreciate your help, I know you're busy.”
“It's fine,” Carm nodded, walking over to the table and setting the bag on the floor before picking up things on the table and inspecting them. “I'm not uh..I'm not needed, today.”
“Well I need you,” You grinned, walking over to the table. “The plan is I prepare everything today, then tomorrow I just have to heat up, and serve.”
“Organized, I like it,” Carmy nodded, looking over to you. “Where exactly do I fit in all this?”
“You..are my assistant for the day. Executive assistant, really.”
You gestured to the bag on the floor. “Show me what you got.”
An hour later, your kitchen was a whole lot messier, but progress was going well. Carmy had the patience of a saint, calmly explaining how everything was done. You were surprised how quickly you were picking up what he taught you, usually you got halfway through a YouTube cooking tutorial and gave up, ordering takeout instead.
“Okay, what's next on the list?” You asked, sprinkling herbs onto the egg roll pastry before wiping your hands. “I still can't believe you made me write a fucking list.”
“You needed the list,” Carmy grinned, reaching for the slip of paper. “Trust me. Okay, once you've finished those we can..almost cross off all the savory, just crudités but that's pretty simple. I can show you how to make dips, if you want.”
“Thought you'd never ask,” You grinned, flicking a loose crumb of pastry at him. “the vegetables are in the..”
You looked up for a minute, trying to think.
“Bottom of the fridge,” Carmy supplied, gently touching your back as he passed you to get to the fridge. “got them.”
You rolled up the pastry under your hands, setting it aside with the other egg rolls that had been prepared.
“So how has it been, being back?” You asked, going to rinse your hands. “I feel like I never asked you properly.”
“It's..fine, yeah,” Carmy replied, his head in the fridge when you glanced over to him. “Hasn't changed, much, well..you know. Never thought I'd end up back here.”
“At least you got out,” You shrugged, drying your hands before moving back to the counter. “How was New York? Incredible?”
“Incredible,” Carmy repeated, coming back to join you and reaching for a bowl. “Hand me that cucumber, please?”
“I need to visit one day,” You sighed, reaching for the cucumber and handing it over. “It's like..it's just there, I can go anytime, but I don't..I will, though.”
“Mm,” Carmy nodded. “You can pour greek yogurt into a bowl if you want.”
“On it,” You smiled, going to get a bowl. “I feel like such a domestic goddess right now, I gotta say. I never really cook. Not like this.”
“Are you enjoying it?” Carmy asked, not looking up from cutting up the cucumber. “I know cutting up vegetables isn't exactly an adrenaline rush.”
“I am enjoying it,” You got a bowl and went to set it on the counter, standing by Carmy. “It's relaxing. I'm not thinking about anything except the next step. I don't have to worry about anything except what I add next.”
“Lemon,” Carmy gestured to the yellow fruit over on the table. “Worry over.”
You smiled as you spooned the yogurt into the bowl, glancing over to Carmy. “You wanna know a secret?”
“Is it..that you're actually a serial killer who kills your victims by liquid potassium poisoning?”
“Oh shut the fuck up,” You groaned, going to grab the lemons as Carmy laughed and shook his head.
“Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. What's this other secret?”
“No, I'm not telling you now,” You sighed, taking the lemons back to the counter. “If you're just gonna be an ass.”
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” Carm murmured softly, gently nudging you. “Please tell me.”
“It's a world exclusive secret,” You grinned, walking over to the table and picking up your bag from one of the chairs. “Only three people will now know..”
You reached into your bag, pulling out a clean white envelope.
“Time to see if we need to use the pink or blue food dye.”
“What do you mean?” Carmy looked over to you. “Like a..gender reveal? That's still a thing?”
“I know it's a little cheesy,” You shrugged, looking down at the envelope. “But my best friend is just really excited to have this baby, she wants to know everything she can. So she gave me this,” You held up the envelope. “And I get to whip up some frosting.”
“So, what's it gonna be?” Carmy asked as you walked back over.
“Let's see,” You opened the envelope slowly, feeling Carmy's eyes on you. “Ah..not what I expected.”
You handed the paper over to Carmy as you picked up a lemon. “There's gonna be a little kid running around that looks like her..crazy.”
“Nice, though,” Carmy shrugged, setting the paper aside. “You know, if you..if you're someone that wants that.”
“Mm,” You nodded, taking a knife to cut the lemon. “She has, for a long time. I was so excited for her when she told me. Then I went and agreed to do all this, because..”
“You were drunk?” Carmy supplied.
“Yes, that,” You laughed, shaking your head. “It's not going that bad though, right? Everything is under control.”
“True, but uh..” You looked up as you felt Carmy's hand on your arm, looking down and finding yourself staring at his tattoos.
“You might want to cut the lemons, not your fingers.”
“What? Shit,” You frowned as you looked back to your hands, a trickle of blood appearing. “Spoke too soon.”
“It's okay,” Carmy led you to the sink. “just wash it off, have you got band-aids?”
“Uh..yeah, I think so,” You nodded, running the water. “in the bathroom cabinet.”
“Okay, wait here.”
A few minutes later you were leaning against the counter watching Carmy apply a band-aid to your finger with the precision of a surgeon.
“I can't remember the last time someone put a band-aid on me,” You murmured softly. “Thanks.”
“Don't mention it,” Carm looked up, his hand still holding yours. “I'm an expert at it.”
“So I see,” You smiled, inspecting your finger. “Excellent work. I'll be sure and recommend you.”
“I might need the extra work,” He sighed. “We're getting close to the deadline and it just feels like we're not progressing.”
“Hey,” You gently squeezed his hand. “Stressing out won't change anything except to make everything harder. Just keep going, do what you need to do, and then on the tiny, tiny, chance it doesn't work out you have a career lined up as a professional band-aider. You can patch up my victims.”
Carmy was quiet for a moment before he laughed, really laughed, and you felt a weight slip off your shoulders.
After a moment a comfortable silence fell over the two of you, your eyes held on each other.
“I‐”
“I should actually be going,” Carmy spoke before you could finish. “I just remembered I need to call this guy about the..”
“Okay,” You nodded, clearing your throat. “I can..I can handle the rest. Don't let me keep you if you're in a rush.”
You could see the guilt in Carm’s eyes, choosing to look away.
“I'm sorry to leave you in the middle of all this.”
“Don't be sorry,” You shrugged, looking down to your bandaged finger. “It's my responsibility, I got it. Thank you for your help.”
Carmen gave you a nod and you mustered up a smile in return, watching him leave.
A couple of hours later, the sun had set and your kitchen lights were bright as you flicked some cupcake batter off your fingers. When you heard a knock at the door you looked up, pausing for a minute before grabbing a cloth to wipe your hands.
“Coming, hang on.” You called, setting the cloth aside and heading to the door.
It wasn't a total surprise to see Carmen on the other side.
“Hey,” He said after a moment. “Can I come in?”
“Of course,” You stood aside, holding the door open. “Come on in.”
You watched him as he took a deep breath, hand clutching the zip of his jacket.
“So, about earlier, I-”
“I know,” You smiled, holding up your hand. “It was a lot. It was fun, and..domestic, and kind of intense, and that's a lot. I get it.”
“Yeah,” Carmy breathed, nodding sofly. “But..I'd still like to help you out, if you'll let me.”
“Then get your shoes off and get in the kitchen,” You smiled. “I'm just starting the cupcakes. Assistance is definitely needed.”
Half an hour and a lot of batter later, the cupcakes were in the oven, and the daunting prospect of the cake stood in front of you.
“Do I really need to make a cake and cupcake?” You mused, looking at the messy counter. “It feels excessive.”
“You're making the cake,” Carm nudged you gently. “Show me what you've learned.”
“Prepare to be amazed,” You grinned. “For better or worse.”
You cleared some space on the counter and glanced over to Carmy for a moment with a raised brow. “Hold still, you got batter in your hair.”
You gently moved your hand to carefully remove the fleck of batter.
“Would I be out of line to suggest you might be overdue for a haircut?”
Carmy laughed softly and shook his head, ruffling his messy curls.
“It's on a list, somewhere. I'll get round to it eventually.”
“I could do it,” You suggested, looking back to the counter and taking a clean bowl. “I know my way around a pair of scissors.”
“Really?”
“Really really,” You nodded, reaching for the flour. “you help me with this cake, I'll make you look like a new man.”
“Deal.”
Once the cupcakes were out of the oven and the cake was in, you sent Carmy off to wash his hair in your shower, leaning against the counter when he was gone and taking a deep breath. You reached for the note that your best friend had given you, smiling as you read over it.
When Carm came back into the kitchen, you felt your heart race a little. He was dressed the same of course but his damp hair was slicked back, and he had a warm, clean scent that still had a musk to it that was really doing it for you.
“The cake will be a while, I checked,” You smiled. “Skewered it like a pro. Take a seat, let's get you fixed up.”
“Are you going to skewer me?” Carmy asked, raising a brow as he sat on the chair you'd moved up by the counter. “I'm a little intrigued.”
“You'll see,” You grinned, picking up the blue towel you'd grabbed when Carmy was in the shower. “Be on your best behavior just in case.”
“Yes ma'am.”
“Alright,” You draped the towel around Carmy's shoulders, adjusting it a little before picking up the scissors and a comb. “Let's see what we can do. Head down, please.”
“About earlier,” Carmy began, and you felt a knot twist in your stomach. “I..I just want to apologize, I shouldn't have just left like that.”
“It's okay,” You murmured softly, gently combing his hair and holding the ends between your fingers. “Like I said, I get it.”
“No, it's..it's complicated,” Carmy sighed. “Because..I don't want you to think that I didn't enjoy being domestic and having fun with you, because I did, and I think you're great, I really..I really like you and it just freaked me the fuck out a little.”
“Like when we were six,” You smiled softly, gently snipping his hair. “And I kissed you. You freaked out and left me alone in that treehouse. I was devastated.”
“Hey I didn't expect it,” Carm shrugged. “You didn't give me a heads up.”
“I'm giving you one now,” You grinned, lightly tapping his head with the comb. “Head up, please.”
“Why did you do it?” Carm asked, soft curiosity in his voice.”I mean, why did you..why me?”
“You weren't like the other boys in our class,” You shrugged, gently sweeping the comb through Carmy's hair. “And you weren't like Richie or your brother. You were just..Carmy. I always thought about you. I liked that you were doing your own thing. Tilt your head sideways, please..thanks.”
He stayed quiet while you cut his hair so you kept talking.
“I don't think I really had a crush on you or anything back then, I just liked you. Then as we got older I started seeing you differently but I never acted on it because I didn't think you were interested. We never really hung out much, for all I knew you were a major dick. Then,you were gone and I tried to forget you..head down, please.”
“What do you think now?”
You thought about it for a moment, holding the comb in Carmy's hair.
“I think..you've actually got really great hair.”
“That so?”
“Oh yeah,” You nodded. “I mean usually it looks like a bird should be nesting in it so anything is an improvement.”
He laughed slightly and you felt your shoulders drop a little.
“I also think,” You murmured softly, slowly closing the scissors on the ends of his hair. “Those tattoos on your hands are really doing it for me.”
“Yeah?
“Big time.”
A silence hung over you as you continued the haircut, trying to keep your hands steady.
“Just because I freaked out doesn't mean that I don't..that I haven't been thinking about you.”
“Yeah?” You mused, lightly brushing some hair off the towel.
“Big time. But..” Carmy let out a sigh, clearing his throat. “I'm really not..an expert at the whole relationship thing. I'm not even a novice, I'm like..a nightmare. I can't do the flowers and dates and meeting the parents and all that like..I know I should want all that and maybe I do but..something just stops me and I can't..I can't do it.”
You slowly walked around to stand in front of Carmy, meeting his eyes as you glanced down.
“Head up, please.”
You focused your attention on his hair, feeling the nervous energy radiating from him.
“First of all, you know my parents. So that's not relevant. Second of all..I'm not saying that I want a relationship because I don't even know if I do. But..I wouldn't mind having someone I hang out with, watching movies and talking shit and eating takeout and figuring out if we want to be more but it's okay because we're still good how we are. And I could see you being that person.”
You took a step back, tilting your head slightly.
“All done.”
“Good,” Carmy nodded, standing up and stepping closer to you, his hands reaching out to touch your face and leaning in close til you felt like you couldn't breathe. “You can check the cake.”
You let out a frustrated sigh before laughing and moving your hands to grip the towel around Carmy's shoulders.
“You're definitely a major dick.”
You pulled him in for a kiss, feeling a rush shoot through you. When you pulled back you thought your heart was on fire.
“Wow, you've really improved,” You grinned. “I'm impressed.”
“You don't know the half of it.” Carmy grinned, pulling you back in for another kiss.
He wasn't lying, as you discovered when he put you up on the counter and feasted on you til you cried.
You had wasted no time, pulling him right down onto the kitchen floor to show what you'd learned too.
The next day, when you watched your best friend cut into the cake and scream with joy as layers of pink and blue sponge were revealed, you made a silent vow to volunteer your services more often.
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starryevermore · 4 months
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the house of snow (1) ✧ coriolanus snow
the house of snow ✧ a royal coryo au | pinterest board | ao3
pairing: king!coriolanus snow x fem!reader
series summary: the king of panem is in search of a bride. and, for reasons you can never understand, coriolanus snow has set his sights on you. it would never be a happy marriage, you’re sure of that. but none of that matters, because when snow decides he wants something, he will do everything in his power to ensure it is his.
chapter summary: your parents are convinced that you will marry the king by the end of the social season. and so, too, it seems does coriolanus snow.  
word count: 2,764 
series warnings?: 18+ MINORS DNI, royal au, regency au, arranged marriage, rivals to lovers, obsessive!coryo, jealous!coryo, protective!coryo, eventual smut, eventual pregnancy, more tags to be added later 
chapter warnings?: no use of y/n, you cannot stand coryo, not proofread
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Coriolanus Snow’s rise to the throne was something you never expected to come to fruition. When you were younger, you remembered your peers talking about how Snow wanted to one day rule Panem. At the time, you thought it was just another wild dream of a child. Something a child would say when an adult asks what they wish to be when they grow up. “A pirate!” one might exclaim. Or, perhaps, “A painter!” The sort of thing that a sensible parent would shrug off and not dedicate anymore thought to. The Snow family, as it turned out, was not particularly sensible. 
When the Former King Ravinstill died without warning, the throne was left vacant. Everyone knew that the old man had little life left in him. Yet, despite his age, he had a tendency to power through. No one thought he would have lived as long as he did, but he had. So, the Electors had not yet begun considering his replacement. No one had been prepared enough to seek candidacy. No one, except Coriolanus Snow. A few other eligible persons put forth their names, but no one garnered support quite like the young man. From a prominent family, the son of a general, had served briefly himself, intelligent, and had the financial backing of the Plinth family? There was no version of history where Snow could lose. 
Within weeks of Ravinstill’s death, Snow was crowned King. 
You did not care for politics, so you knew little of his reign. But your father seemed pleased, talking often and loudly about how the young Snow would restore Panem to its former glory. You weren’t so sure of that. Though you did not interact with him often in your younger years, you remembered Snow as someone who was self-serving. Who would pretend to care if only it could further his own interests. He very well might let all of Panem burn if it meant he could gain from it. But your father was quite pleased with Snow as King and, when word began to spread that Snow would be seeking a bride this next social season, your father pushed hard for you to woo the King. 
“If you wish to serve your family well, my little dove, you will convince the King to marry you,” your father told you the moment he heard the news. 
You all but scoffed. “I hardly think I am the sort of woman he wishes to marry. A man like him would want someone meek, someone who would not challenge his authority. We hardly ever agreed on the schoolyard, and for that reason, he never considered me a friend. How could he ever see me as a wife?”
Your father’s eyes narrowed at you. “It is your responsibility, then, to make yourself small so that he may choose you.”
“I would rather die than sacrifice my ideals, Papa,” you said. “Why can I not vie for any other’s attention? I know Lord Plinth quite well. I’ve always enjoyed his company. It would be easy to win his heart and have our family set for life. Certainly easier than winning over the King.”
He sneered, “The only thing the Plinth family is good for is their money. I want to be respected. We would be little more than social pariahs if you wed the Plinth boy.”
“I shall not marry the King—”
Your mother stepped in before you could say something you might come to regret. She placed a hand on your arm, directing your attention to her. “Never mind that now. There is still time before the season begins for minds to be changed.”
“I shall not change my mind, Mama.”
She looked over at your father, who was the perfect picture of irate. She looked back to you. “Perhaps, but perhaps not. Let us go clear our minds, yes? We should go order new gowns at the modiste before everyone else floods her with demands.”
“You cannot distract me with fashion.”
“But you would do well to pretend that I have.”
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Your efforts to convince your parents that you would not, under any circumstance whatsoever, marry Coriolanus Snow did not do anything for you. Despite your best efforts, you now stood in the palace for the King’s Ball, wearing the most beautiful powder blue gown fresh from the modiste, trying and failing to hide from your mother, so that you might delay her forcing you onto Snow. For now, though, she had been distracted by a conversation with Lady Dovecote about…whatever mothers talked about. Surely some scheme that would end with either you or Clemensia as Snow’s betrothed. You rolled your eyes at the thought. 
A familiar voice said your name. When you turned, you were greeted by the sight of Sejanus Plinth, holding two glasses of lemonade. He handed one to you, remarking, “I never knew you to be one to hide from the crowd.”
“I shall hide from the crowd when my mama is convinced I shall become Queen by the end of the season.”
“Ah.” Sejanus took a drink and laughed. “Strange, isn’t it? Seeing everyone we grew up with vying for Coryo’s attention.”
Coryo? Oh, yes. That was the nickname those close to Snow would call him. You had forgotten that the two were friends. Hmm, perhaps you could use that information the next time your parents try to force a connection with Snow. Something about how getting close to his friend might make him interested in you. “That it is. It seems as though everyone has lost their minds just for a glimpse of the crown.”
Sejanus laughed again. Then he looked at you a little more seriously, and said, “If I am honest, I am surprised you are not among those fighting for Coryo’s attention.”
Your brows pinched together. “You think I am interested in climbing the social ladder? Lord Plinth, you should know me well enough that I care more for a love match than gaining a title.”
“No, no. That is not what I meant. I remember in school that you and Coryo always had a sort of connection. Truthfully, I thought one of you might have acted on it sooner when you entered society.”
“The only connection we had was that of hatred. We despised each other.”
Sejanus shook his head, his curls bouncing. “I do not think that was true for Coryo. He liked that you challenged him. He has never been the sort of person who liked people who switch their position when the tide seems to turn. He likes people who are firm in their convictions.”
You laughed. “He’s told you this?”
“Not in so many words. But you have to wonder why he always sought you out.”
“Perhaps. Or perhaps he is crueler than we all think.”
Sejanus moved to protest, but another beat him to it. “Or perhaps you judge without truly knowing.”
You froze. Oh, how you had hoped that you could have avoided him tonight! Damn Sejanus and his friendship with Snow. So much for him being your safe haven during these balls. You might as well have lit a beacon leading straight to you. Alas, you did not want Snow to see the hatred you had brewing for him. Even if you did not like the man, you would be a social pariah if you made such feelings known to him. So, you painted on a smile as you turned to look at Snow. “Or perhaps I made an educated guess supported by the evidence of past interactions.”
Snow snorted, turning his gaze to Sejanus. “Always so quick with a response, she is.”
Sejanus glanced at you, a knowing look in his eyes. If you were a mindreader, you could imagine him gloating in his mind about how he was right, that this was a sign that Snow cared for you in some way. But you only knew it to be yet another indicator that you and Snow could never, ever, get along. “Her wit has never dulled.”
“Should we see, then, if her dance skills are still equally sharp?”
Sejanus looked at you again, a brilliant smile on his face. Oh, how you wished to wipe that look off. This was not proof of anything. This did not prove his point. “I could not think of anything better.”
Damn you, Sejanus Plinth. Damn you. 
Snow held his arm out for you to take. You stared at it, not moving. “In order to dance with a lady, you must ask her. I do not recall you asking me anything.”
Snow glanced just beyond you. When you turned your head to follow his gaze, you saw your mother and Lady Dovecote watching the interaction carefully. As you looked back at Snow, he said, “Your mother would be disappointed if you did not dance with me.”
“It is amazing you became King when you are so lacking in manners.” But you knew your mother—the entirety of the ton, perhaps—would consider you insane to turn the King down so openly. So you took his arm and let him lead you onto the dance floor. 
He snorted. “You are the only person who speaks so freely to me.”
“Ah, so this is one last dance before my execution? How kind. Perhaps I was wrong about your cruelty.”
“There is much you are wrong about,” Snow said. You had reached the dance floor. The crowd parted around you, allowing you and Snow to take the middle of the floor. You faced him, allowing his hand to fall to you waist. You placed one hand on his shoulder, and let him take the other in his free hand. “It would be far too much of a shame to take your life.”
“Such a kind and gentle king.”
“Only for those who deserve it.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw your mother miming for you to smile. You fought the urge to sneer instead. Even if you would rather do anything else than be courted by Coriolanus Snow, acting out would not do you any favors. If you had any hope in finding a love match, you had to at least be cordial to him. So you smiled as prettily as you could. But you couldn’t help yourself from saying, “Then perhaps you should go see a physician. You seem to have lost your mind.”
To your surprise, Snow laughed. The sound almost scared you. When was the last time you heard Snow laugh? An actual laugh, at that. None of his snorts of derision or half-hearted chuckles when he was trying to charm someone. Had you ever heard him laugh before? You tried to wrack your brain, but you could not recall anything. In school, he had always been so serious—focused more on using the tools available to him to climb the social ladder rather than being a kid like everyone else. Though, you supposed, Snow was a far cry from everyone else. 
The music began to play, and Snow spun you around the dance floor. As you turned, you locked eyes with Sejanus. He wore a large grin on his face, seemingly sure that you and Snow were making nice. Why else would he have laughed at something you said? You wished you could yell out to Sejanus, tell him that he was dead wrong. 
“What is it that people say? Something about love driving people mad?”
This time, you did roll your eyes. “Oh, come off it. You and I both know perfectly well that you do not care for me. I hardly understand why you’re even entertaining this nonsense, if for no other reason than to torture me.”
Snow considered you. After a long moment of silence, he said, “I seek a bride who will produce me an heir. There are few women here who meet my standards. A woman of good breeding, from a respectable family, and intelligent enough to keep up with me. Someone who will be a good Queen and a good mother.”
“Someone that you can control.” You scoff. “You truly must see a physician, Your Majesty, if you think that I will fall in line with whatever you ask of me.”
His lips curled into a grin. Your stomach churned. “Not yet.”
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The next morning, your mother promptly reported that you had danced with Coriolanus Snow not once, not twice, but three times to your father. To say he had been pleased was something of an understatement. He was certain that Snow would soon be reaching out to discuss a proposal. It did not matter how much you tried to downplay the situation—explain that he was only dancing with you for some other reason than him wishing to marry you. Your parents minds were made up. By the end of the season, you were to be Queen of Panem. 
“It’s just the nerves,” your mother dismissed as you sat in the drawing room, waiting for any suitor to call on you. “You will be more than confident once you are wed.”
You ground your teeth together. “I do not wish to marry Coriolanus Snow. I would marry anyone else. I would let you or Papa pick anyone else in the ton and I would not let out a single complaint. I cannot marry that man.”
Something just beyond you caught your mother’s attention. Your father, you supposed. “You should not say such things—” she began to say. Of course. Of course she would say that. 
“Why not? It is true. I would be miserable with him. I would rather die than be his bride, bear his children. Frankly, forcing me to marry him may as well be a death sentence.”
“Dear, you do not truly mean that—”
“And you must not know me at all if you think I am not being completely, and utterly, truthful right now. Coriolanus Snow is the last man I would ever wish to marry.”
Your mother leaned in close to you, hissing, “Stop talking right now, young lady.”
A frown settled on your face. Why was she so bothered about you speaking so freely? There was no one in the room but you, her, and a maid. Perhaps she was concerned about the maid spreading gossip with other maids and that slowly enveloping the ton. It wasn’t a non-possibility, to be sure. But why was she acting so…scandalized by your words? 
Unless…
You turned your head toward the entrance of the room. There should Coriolanus Snow, dressed in a dark red suit, holding a bouquet of white roses. Your mouth went dry. Oh, why does he keep showing up when you least expect it? “The butler typically announces when a guest has arrived,” you said. 
You couldn’t read his face. A part of you wondered if you had offended him. You didn’t particularly care about offending him, but you also knew that such an act could have dire consequences on you marrying anyone else. “He was going to, but I wanted my arrival to be a surprise.” He took a step closer to you, holding out the roses. “I just had these freshly picked from my garden.”
A part of you wanted to smack the roses out of his hands, but you had already embarrassed your mother enough in front of Snow. You took the roses, yet couldn’t stop yourself from saying, “I cannot believe a man like you could grow something so beautiful.”
Your mother let out a loud—obviously fake—laugh. “Oh, isn’t she just funny? She always says the silliest things.”
Snow chuckled. He smiled at your mother—the sort of smile that your stomach twist into knots. Like he knew something no one else did, and he was reveling in that. “It is one of her more…charming traits.” He turned his attention back to you. “As lovely as this is, I came to ask if you would like to promenade with me in the square.”
Oh, Snow. Why was he so good at backing you into corners? You took a breath and passed the bouquet to the maid so she could put them in a vase. “That would be nothing short of a delight.”
He held out his arm for you to take. You slipped your hand around his bicep, your nails digging in. If he felt any pain, he didn’t show it. Instead, he leaned down so that you could only hear him whisper, “It seems like you fall in line much easier than you would like to believe.”
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dollietes · 6 months
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໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა mimi’s fic recs !
in summary these are my fav fics that i’ve read recently and are living within the depths of my brain. this is just a way for my to show appreciation for the writers who had written them <3 please support their blogs and check out their other works as well!
please minors dni with the smut works. respect writers and their boundaries!!
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f :: fluff / a :: angst / s :: smut
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pretty girls make graves by @ijtaimes f
OBSESSED with this series!! the blend of the summer camp setting, the love triangle story, and the clever incorporation of horror elements?@)2)2) and the interactive storytelling it has with the outfit choices and other general choices?? ivy, cousin i love you and your sexy brain. i can’t get enough of it actually!
two peculiar swans by @astralnymphh f / s
WHEN I TELL YOU ALL I RAN LIKE THREE LAPS AND SAT IMMEDIATELY WHEN I SAW IT WAS POSTED. the writinggg!! so top tier! the dialogue, inner monologue how the story just flows so seamlessly?? i’m so excited for the rest of this series bro like aestra ate😋 HYPE IT UP YALL!!
loser!abby by @abbyscherry s
when i tell you all i profusely **** and ***** while reading both of the loser!abby works. like if i speak I would be deemed as insane, a mad woman it’s crazy. read them like bedtime stories before bed😭
cowboy!ellie + this by @catfern s
SAVE A HORSE RIDE A COWGIRL! COWBOY!ELLIE NATION RISEEEEE. these hcs had me foaming t the mouth like i need someone to hold me back before I ramble about how much I love these hcs and eat them up and will continue to eat up anything cowboy!ellie 😋
in for it by @brackishkittie s
ONE WORD. DIVINE. DELICIOUS. SCRUMPTIOUS. i could not stop smiling like a school girl while reading this it’s embarrassing actually. also vivian’s smau’s >>>> got me into the fandom actually
rockstar!ellie + this by @phantombriide s
i could write a thesis about how much i love this and rockstar!ellie works. like this is what i breathe, i eat, i consume everyday. it is the mantra i read to start my days. my daily reading to begin the day. god bless.
academic rival!abby by @beforeimdeceased f / s
ACADEMIC RIVALS CLENCHES FISTS. RAHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE ITTTTT. every bit of this series had me craving for more oml. like i need academic!rival abby in my bed immediately!
being pregnant with wife!abby by @bayasdulce f
baby fever has hit me once again what can i say?😞 I need wife!abby to take care of me so bad it’s getting sad at this point. I just this broke me down and worsened my baby fever (had me making a pinterest board and everything goodbye😞😞)
neighbour!ellie + this by @loaksky s / f
NEIGHBOUR!ELLIE NEIGHBOUR!ELLIE NEIGHBOUR!ELLIE MY FAV FAV FAV! i remember the influx of them on my dash and trust i was eating good 🍽️ both parts had me folding, giggling, smiling, swinging my feet everything and everything.
try it on by @moncherellie s
another work that got me into the fandom!! I remember reading this for the first time and hiding my face and giggling into my pillow and the audios lord i felt so giddy that night lmao😭
doctor!abby texts by @eightstarr f
doctor!abby has me in a chokehold like that’s my wife and mother of our three children everyone can leave pls and thanks😁 and i mean that with my whole chest. those texts are actual REAL evidence of what our convos look like you all can move (im joking pls don’t take what I’m saying seriously😭) I just am in love with everything zoe puts out because it’s so good and so dear and special to me
cutty love by @totheblood f
anything star puts out tbh >>>>> absolutely in love with cutty love actually! I am a whore for any fluff and PINNING (GIVE IT TEW ME). this is just so soft and sweet and it’s everything I need like uggggh. the audios too just chefs kiss love everything about it!
streamer!ellie hcs by @inf3ct3dd f
SIERRA’S HCS 🔛🔝 SO GOOD EATS EVERYTIME YALL like gen they all have made their home in my brain and I can’t go to bed without at least reading one of them before i hit the hay.
knight!ellie by @heavenbloom f
FIRSTLY written so beautifully?&* i love everything about this and i tend to go back to this work when I’m in need of a fluff fix! I absolutely adore how everything is written yes I’m reiterating my point because ‘green eyes thirsty for the well that was your beauty.’ LIKE WORLD STOP. ARE YOU SEEING THIS?? ‘she was utterly dedicated to you, body and soul, and she would be by your side until her very last breath. it was a fierceness, this love that consumed her, and it was all yours.’ LIKE WTF
partition by @whore4abby s
reserving my *clears throat* thoughts for now but just know * **** **** *** *** ***** **** * **** ***** *********!!! 😁😁😁 everyone should read this ASAP!
sun don’t set by @hier--soir f
another heavenly piece omg!! so in love with the writing in here oh my god. it’s so soft and sweet and it just felt like a warm hug on a cold winters day i just. please read this!!
you love it when i play with you by @ourautumn86 s
i think i like passed out and had three nosebleeds because of this. i think about this more than i should. I think about in the morning, throughout the day and night. my daily read at this point like it’s just sooooo😋😋😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
my love mine all mine by @doepretty f
this one is special to me too like. for one the writing is so beautiful and it made me shed a tear and secondly I melted into a puddle like i want Abby so bad I’m going to be sick.
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inkskinned · 1 year
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being single in your late 20s & 30s is so fucking wild bc on one hand it's fun and flirty and you skip a lot of the bullshit because you know what you're looking for and you know how to spot a red flag from a mile away and you've learned to set boundaries and communicate your own and be upfront about your needs and most of the time they've learned it too - and if they haven't, you can tell after the second date that they haven't been to therapy
and every time you feel lonely and dried up and an ugly husk there's a whole community of other single people out there who are just as unhinged and want to hang out with you because they just need a plus-one like you do and you get introduced to like. people in their 60's and 70's and 80's who are all like - nope, single life is my choice and i love it and you feel warm and seen and like okay, it's not the end of the world if i'm not seeing anybody. and yeah it's hard and sometimes exhausting but part of getting better is that you do make like so many friends and do so much wild shit because you made a promise to yourself that you'll actually get out there and try shit and actually work on your hobbies and skills and friendships because to be honest in relationships you wouldn't push yourself this hard and it's actually been super rewarding because it came from you and from what you wanted
and yes of course the apps such and dating in general can suck but after one of the bad dates you go back to your apartment and call up those friends you made and make jokes about what the other person said and it rolls right off your back and you have plans for self-care in the morning. you prioritize yourself and your happiness and you really actually don't mind it, a lot of the time, unless it's like at a wedding and they're doing one of those couples-related things. most of the time it's not even a problem except when you can tell people pity you for it and you're like - i'm actually fine, babe, even without a partner i am still, like a person and yes of course it would be nice to have a partner but you have established yourself as a person and as an adult in a way that feels really hard-won and well-earned and you're protective of that and of the life you're living and honestly you're pretty happy, all things considered
and at the same time you do have to tell your father that you are single on purpose right now and that, yes, believe it or not, they're letting women be single past the age of 30 these days without burning us at the stake (can you imagine!) and you have to kind of sit pretty while people make jokes about how you're losing your marriageability and you're like, a little too old for the bars and the clubs and whatever but you do still want to go out dancing and it's like. the other day you went to a board game party and had the time of your life and then your mom calls you and says she's worried because what if you never find the one, shouldn't you be spending more time looking? and you're like - trying to balance this place where you're actually, like, perfectly okay? except you hear this thing over and over and over - oh no. that's so sad. i hope you find your lover. and you weren't really upset about it until someone suggested that you're running out of time and until someone said that it's so miserable that you live without someone to kiss and you're like why can't anyone believe that i'm genuinely happy. like. joy. like. bliss.
and then they look at you and they look at their partner and the look passes between them that says - poor thing. you're just lying to yourself about this.
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scoonsalicious · 1 month
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Chapter 6, Unattached - Pt. 1
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, angst (Bring on the Pain!), alcohol usage, dumbass Bucky, noncon kissing that becomes con kissing, so..., arguing, jealous!Pocket, posessive!Bucky.
Word Count: 5.4k
Previously On...: After Bucky left you alone in your room, not wanting people to get 'the wrong idea' about the two of you, you came to the horrible conclusion that you were in love with your best friend. What the hell are you going to do about that?
A/N: Wow, okay! So, first off, Chapter 6 is long, and it only has the one part, so don't worry if you go looking for more and the next thing you find is Chapter 7! Second, there's a lot of progress and updates on Unwanted I wanted to share! I am already well into writing Chapter 14, and have planned out the rest of the story. We'll have a total of 25 chapters, plus an epilogue (unless something strikes me creatively that throws the entire thing for a loop, then all bets are off). This beast, as it currently sits, is already 208 Google Docs pages long and just shy of 80k words, so final product is probably going to be novel-length, which just blows my mind. I want to give a special shout out to @mrsbuckybarnes1917 for being my beta and my sounding board; your help and support has been immeasurable!
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917
Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @jmeelee @cazellen @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @erelierraceala @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @jupiter-107 @marygoddessofmischief
You stood in front of the doors to the common room, the low thrum of conversation and music filtering out from inside. Taking a deep breath, you tried for the umpteenth time to calm your nerves following your unsettling realization.
You had no idea how to approach this, how to approach Bucky. Do you tell him how you felt, in the hope that he felt the same way? But what if he didn't? Could you risk losing him all together? Or do you just keep on like nothing's changed, happy with what you have together? Would that be enough for you? Could you even be happy in a real relationship?
Why couldn't your mother have just been a decent human being and let you go to school like a normal child so you could have worked through all your awkward issues at the appropriate time, instead of saddling you with years of trauma and isolation that left you an emotionally stunted adult? God, you needed a strong drink and to talk to Nat, preferably in that order. Pushing open the common room door, you stepped inside, surveying the room with one eye out for Bucky, the other out for your friend.
It should have been of no surprise, then, that instead of either, you first spotted Jade Carthage. She was situated on a couch in the center of the room, like a queen on her throne before her court, and nearly every Avenger and agent with a penis was surrounding her, jockeying for her attention, even Clint who, you knew for a fact, loved his wife Laura more than life itself.
Your stomach dropped when, after one of the agents in front of the couch shifted slightly, you saw Bucky sitting immediately to Jade's left. And while it seemed like everyone else was clamoring for Jade to pay attention to them, she only had eyes for him. Jealousy coursed through you as she leaned in close, whispering something into his ear that had him throwing his head back in laughter. It was an entirely unpleasant sensation that you would be happy to never feel again. Especially because you knew you had no real right to feel it in the first place. You may have just realized you were in love with him, but he had made no similar declaration to you.
"Careful, you glare any harder, you're liable to bore a hole straight through him," Natasha said, coming up alongside of you.
"What if I aim for her, instead?" you asked, reaching for the tumbler of alcohol she offered you and taking a sip to distract yourself. It was like she could read your mind.
Nat shrugged. "So long as I'm not the one cleaning up the mess, I say have fun. But what happened to no-strings-attached, friends who happen to fuck?" Nat asked with a smirk. "Don't tell me you've grown strings, Pocket."
You looked away from the scene in front of you. "There might be some growing of string, in theory," you mumbled to her. Nat was the only person you had confided in regarding your arrangement with Bucky. Of course, your friend had been thrilled that there had been something going on between the two of you, but she'd been more concerned about protecting your heart-- was this the safest thing for you to do? You assured her at the time you'd be fine, but now...?
Nat's eyes widened as a grin took over her face. "Honey, that's fantastic!" She leaned in to give you a hug. "I'm so happy for you!" Taking in your forlorn expression, she quickly lost her good humor. "Why do you look like you're about to throw up?"
You cast another glance over at the couch. Jade was tracing her fingers along the golden veins of Bucky's vibranium arm and you felt like snakes were crawling through your stomach. "Because I don't know what the fuck to do about it, Natty," you told her with a sigh. "I've never felt like this before in my entire life and it's fucking terrifying; what if he doesn't feel the same way? Or worse, what if he does and I mess everything up because I'm so fucking damaged inside?"
Natasha looped her arm through yours, leaning into you. "Honey, first of all, you are not damaged. You've been through hell and it left its mark on you, that's true, but you've been so strong. We're House Martell, remember?"
You sniggered, remembering how, when the entire Tower was obsessed with watching Game of Thrones together and picking what houses you'd each belong to, you and Nat had been drawn to the words of the ruling house of Dorne. And also, Pedro Pascal, obviously.
"Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken," you recited from memory, a reminder that despite the obstacles life had thrown at you, you remained standing, stronger for what you had endured.
"Atta girl," Nat nudged you with her elbow. "And second of all, you don't need to worry about Bucky's feelings. Boy's obviously mad for you. Everyone can see it."
You drew your bottom lip in between your teeth. "I don't know, Nat. He's been acting strange lately. I tried to give him head earlier and he flat out rejected it." Come to think of it, that was exceptionally weird since, in your text exchange, he'd explicitly told you he'd been waiting in your room specifically for the purpose of getting off.
"Huh. That's... not like him." Nat tilted her head and looked over at Bucky, expression curious. "Did he say why?"
"He was real eager to come up here and get in the middle of that, apparently." You waved a hand in the general direction of the couch where Jade's little reverse-harem was still going strong. "I was getting on my knees and everything."
Nat raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.
"And then he made a really big deal about us coming up here separately. Said he didn't want people getting 'the wrong idea' about us if we arrived together."
Letting go of your arm, Natasha spun to face you, her face a mask of anger. "He said what now?!" she practically shouted, temporarily drawing everyone's attention to you. You looked around sheepishly as you tried to dismiss their stares.
"Nat," you begged in a whisper, "keep it down."
"Okay, okay, sorry." Natasha lowered her voice to a level only you could hear. "I'm sorry, but that's just complete and utter bullshit. Look, I know you guys think you've been in super secret stealth mode about hiding it, but pretty much everyone on the team knows you've been sleeping together. Hell, most of us placed bets on it." You opened your mouth in order to protest but she cut you off.
"If anything, it's weirder if the two of you don't show up to something together, so I don't know what the hell he's thinking."
"I do," you said morosely. "He doesn't want her getting the wrong idea about us."
"Pocket, don't even let your mind go there," Nat said.
"Think about it, Nat; I've been standing here for what, fifteen minutes now? And he hasn't even looked at me. When's the last time that happened?"
Nat's brows creased, her expression clouding over into something immensely sad for you, and you knew she was realizing what you'd already seen. In the last year, you and Bucky had been attached at the hip, nearly physically joined to one another, and if you were apart, your eyes were always scanning the room in search of the other's presence, seeking them out. The fact that he hadn't even looked for you, let alone come to you since you walked in, was telling in its own heartbreaking way.
Nat let out a heavy sigh. "Oh Pocket. Honey, I'm so sorry."
You shook your head, trying to dispel the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes if you kept down this path. "Don't Natty, please. I can't fall apart, not here."
"Yeah, okay-- you're right. Now is not the time. Come on." Linking her arm through yours once again, she directed you toward the bar where Tony was standing, whiskey in hand. "If anyone can talk you to distraction," she murmured as you approached him, "it's Stark."
You let out a startled laugh and let her guide you toward the man who had already saved you more times than you could count.
"Hey, kiddo; Romanoff." Tony saluted you with his glass and you did your best to smile back at him as you stuffed your emotions down as far as they would go. "What do you think of our new recruit?" he asked Nat.
"I think 'Weasel' would be a better fitting code name for her than 'Vixen,'" Nat replied with a sly smile as she took a sip of wine.
"Ah, saw the security feed, did you?" Tony asked her. Nat nodded.
"Watched it live as it happened. Wasn't going to leave my bestie without eyes on her six." She gave your arm an affectionate squeeze.
Tony hummed and glanced over to the couch. "Wish Cap had been as discerning as you. He refused to watch the feed; said it made him uncomfortable to spy on someone when they didn't know they were being recorded." Natasha rolled her eyes.
"Always the fucking Boy Scout," she murmured.
"So, how did the interview itself go?" you asked Tony, not really sure you wanted to know the answer, but feeling the need to punish yourself with the details, anyway.
Tony leaned back against the bar, resting his elbows on the polished wooden surface. "If it were up to me, we wouldn't even be playing this charade right now," he said, motioning with his chin to indicate the meet and greet. "Girl's a first-class bullshitter."
"Talent recognizing talent?" you asked with a wry smile that almost felt genuine.
He pointed a finger and winked at you. "Exactly. She talked a good talk, but it doesn't take much to see she's suffering from Big Fish, Small Pond Syndrome. She's in for a rude awakening if she thinks she's ready to swim in the ocean with the whales and the sharks."
"So, you're not going to offer her the probationary position?" you asked, hope rising pathetically in your chest. As if you could un-ring the bell.
"Oh, I didn't say that," Tony said as you deflated. "It's not all up to me. Though, given the fact that I personally fund this entire operation, you'd think it really should be, right?" At the look on your face he moved on. "Apologies, I digress. Anyway, Cap thinks it's only fair we offer it to her, seeing as how we don't have a ton of other options knocking on our door, and Fury's not going to get off my ass until we find someone." He sighed. "I think this entire exercise is a waste of time, and we should be kicking her out on her ass for how she treated you earlier, Pocket, but I'm outvoted."
"Thanks, Boss," you said softly, grateful at least that Tony could see through Jade's facade and took how she treated you seriously. Too bad your best friend couldn't offer you the same courtesy.
The timer on Tony's watch went off. "And that's the dinner bell," he said, putting down his glass. Clapping his hands, he called out to the rest of the room. "Attention Avengers, SHIELD Agents, and... whoever else managed to sneak in off the street! Dinner is served, so if we could all head to the dining room before the food gets cold and Raul quits on me, I'd appreciate it very much."
You held back as the crowd of people noisily moved to the dining room, hoping to catch Bucky's eye, but he remained steadfastly absorbed in his conversation with Jade.
"Come on, honey," Nat said as she took your elbow. "You can talk to him during dinner. You nodded and allowed her to lead you into the dining room. You and Bucky had sat next to one another, without fail, for every meal for the last year, the only exception being when one of you was away on a mission. You'd have plenty of opportunities to talk to him while you ate.
Normally, you all ate at one large table, but since this was a special occasion that required the attendance of a lot more than just the regular 13 members of your family (14, if Parker was around), Tony had the dining room arranged more like a restaurant, with a series of smaller tables spread out throughout the space.
You and Nat followed Bucky and Jade to a six-top where Steve and Sam were already getting ready to sit down, but you froze in your tracks when Bucky pulled back a chair for Jade, pushing it in behind her as she sat down before taking the seat next to her.
The air seemed to grow heavy, as though it weighed too much for you to draw it into your lungs and your chest began to hurt. How could such a simple action be causing you so much physical pain?
Steve, who had already been sitting at Bucky's other side at the head of the table, caught your eye and moved to get up to offer you his chair, instead, as though that could make up for Bucky's dismissal of you.
You subtly shook your head, not wanting to draw attention to the awkward situation you found yourself in. Instead, you made your way over to the only two remaining seats at the table: the one next to Sam that was directly across from Jade and Bucky or the one next to Jade at the opposite end of the table from Steve. Deciding it was better to be sitting across from Steve than either of the other two, you opted for the chair at the end, and Nat slid in next to Sam.
You cast a quick glance in Jade's direction and had to stifle a sick laugh-- she was physically coming between you and Bucky, quite literally.
Jade reached a hand out to Nat across the table. "Wow! Black Widow! It is so great to meet you! My name's Vixen; I'm a huge fan! I'm so excited for us to be working together!"
Bless Nat, she just stared at the girl with arms crossed across her chest, impassive and judging, until Jade slowly and awkwardly pulled her hand back.
"I take it, then, that you've deemed the Avengers good enough to be your backup team?" Nat asked without expression.
You did your best to cover the laughter that escaped from you with a fake cough, but you didn't try very hard to be convincing.
"What's this about, now?" Steve asked, leaning forward.
"Little Vixen over here," Nat began, leaning back in her chair until she was perched on the two rear legs, "was live-streaming this morning to her social media followers. Told them it wasn't so much that the Avengers were interviewing her to see if she'd be good for the team, but she was interviewing us to see if we'd be good back up for her."
Jade had the decency to look embarrassed for a moment before she turned to face you for the first time, anger taking over her features. "So, what? Didn't much take you for a tattler. You that intimidated by me?"
You opened your mouth to defend yourself but were interrupted by the sound of the legs of Nat's chair slamming back against the floor. "Pocket didn't tell me shit. I heard it straight from your mouth on the security feed. That and a lot of other interesting things."
"You're spying on her, Nat? Really?" Bucky spoke up. "She's our guest and she deserves a modicum of privacy, don't you think?" You stared at him, open mouthed, but he didn't spare you a glance.
"It was a part of her interview, Barnes," Nat spat. "Maybe if you---"
"Okay, Nat, Bucky," Steve said, using his official Captain America voice, "let's table this conversation for later and just enjoy our meal. Raul worked really hard on tonight's menu, so let's not spoil it for him, alright?"
Both Nat and Bucky grumbled their agreement as the catering staff brought out the first course and placed them on each of your plates. Normally, you loved when Raul, Tony's personal chef, cooked meals for the team; he always made sure to throw in something with lemon in it, knowing how much you loved the flavor; but tonight, your appetite was failing you and you ended up pushing more food around on your plate than you put in your mouth.
You couldn't help but steal glances over at Bucky, who continued to be wrapped in conversation with Jade. You tried to keep up with what the others were saying, occasionally nodding your head in agreement to something, but you weren't able to pay any real attention; your mind was elsewhere until you noticed Jade looking at you.
"You know, I have to say I'm surprised to see so many non-Avengers here. I got the impression that this group was... I dunno, elite? But it seems like you just let anyone in."
Steve laughed from the other end of the table. "Being an Avenger is a team effort, Vixen. Everyone plays their part. And besides, Pocket here's just as much an Avenger as I am." The comment took you by surprise, and you gave Steve a warm, appreciative smile.
"Thanks, Cap," you said, truly touched by his words.
"Well, she's more like Avenger-adjacent," Bucky amended, and all the warmth you'd felt at Steve's compliment vanished in an instant, leaving you feeling cold and hollow. The words shouldn't have stung-- it was how you had referred to yourself hundreds of times, but you tended to reserve it for your low moments, when you were feeling unequal to Earth's mightiest heroes. Hearing the words come out of Bucky's mouth, as if he, too, shared in your belief that you were inferior to the rest of them... well, that fucking hurt.
Steve let out a surprised laugh and clapped Bucky on the shoulder. "Pocket may not have enhanced physical abilities or powers or what have you, but she's got a brilliant mind. She's got a PhD in Mechanical Engineering and Computation from MIT, three Master's degrees, she speaks seven languages, she's got a black belt in Krav Maga, and she was the youngest Chief Technology Officer in Stark Industries history; all without ever having formally graduating high school. It's no exaggeration for me to say that I'd be dead a couple of dozen times over if I hadn't had her at my six. If anything, I think it makes her even more important than the rest of us. We're here because of the physical things we can do– primarily because of things that happened to us by accident; Pocket's essential to the team because of how she thinks, and the strength and quality of the work she’s willing to put in. We're replaceable, Pocket's one-of-a-kind."
You looked at Steve as if seeing him for the very first time. You had no idea he thought so highly of you, and his praise warmed you. You offered him a soft smile, your throat tightening with emotion and leaving you unable to express your gratitude. You mouthed a silent thank you instead, hoping that conveyed how much his words meant to you. He winked back at you in acknowledgement.
Bucky glanced back and forth between the two of you, as if analyzing your silent exchange. He coughed awkwardly. "I just meant that we try to keep Pocket away from the really dangerous stuff," he backpedaled, poorly, in your opinion. "Can't risk her getting hurt." He smiled at you, but you just stared back, expression blank, until he looked away in embarrassment. Good. Let him feel an ounce of the discomfort you’d been feeling this entire time.
Small talk resumed around the table, with Sam telling Steve about some new modification he was making to Redwing, and Bucky and Jade back to being locked in their own bubble. You did your best to ignore the little glances and gestures that Jade directed to Bucky, but it felt like your eyes were drawn to them like a magnet every time she touched him. Which seemed to be happening more and more frequently. You couldn't help but notice the way he leaned toward her when she spoke. Did he ever do that when he was talking with you?
"So, Bucky," Jade said eventually, her voice low and flirty as the caterers took away the main course, "handsome super hero like you, you seeing anyone?" Your eyes snapped up to Bucky's face, watching him. Surely he was going to look to you, make eye contact, something to acknowledge what was between you, to make you feel like you were in the same room, hell, on the same fucking planet as him. But he didn't.
"Nope," he said, running his hand over the back of his neck like he always did when he was feeling self conscious or nervous. "Not seeing anyone, though I'm not opposed to the idea." You had been stabbed in the abdomen on a mission once, and that had hurt less than hearing the words that had just come out of Bucky's mouth. It took everything in you to resist getting up from the table and leaving the room at that moment.
"Really, man?" Sam asked from where he sat on the other side of Natasha, his voice hard in disbelief. The atmosphere at your table had shifted. Natasha, Steve, and Sam all stared at Bucky with looks ranging from incredulity to flat out disgust. Bucky either was oblivious to the stares or was doing a great job patently ignoring them.
You couldn't even bring yourself to look at him anymore. It felt like a betrayal, the way his eyes had met Jade's and not yours. How could he sit there and just completely deny you like that? Had you been deluding yourself? Had you just been some kind of fuck toy this entire time?
The caterers brought the next course, a cold raspberry soup. You sat there, staring into space as you mechanically spooned the soup into your mouth, trying your hardest to appreciate the taste, but everything seemed bitter in light of Bucky's attitude, actions, and words.
"Could you hand me the water carafe?" Bucky asked. You looked up to watch Jade hand him the bottle of water. "Thanks, doll," he said, smiling at her.
You dropped your spoon, letting it fall into your nearly empty bowl with a reverberating clang. Your companions at the table stared, eyes wide as their gazes traveled between you and Bucky. In his entire time at the tower, he had never once called another woman 'doll.' It was a moniker he'd specifically reserved for you.
Or, it used to be.
You could tell the exact moment when Bucky realized he'd fucked up. His eyes locked on yours, the color draining from his face. He opened his mouth as if he was going to speak to you, but you'd had enough. Without a word, you pushed back your chair with enough force that it practically tipped over and exited the dining room.
You made it all the way to the elevator before you heard him calling for you.
"Doll! Doll, where are you?" You stabbed repeatedly at the call button, as if it would bring the car to you faster. You could hear his footsteps drawing closer, and you really didn't want to talk to him right now.
Finally, the elevator doors opened and you slid inside, turning to press the 'Close Door' button just as you saw Bucky turn the corner to the elevator bay. You were ready to breathe a sigh of relief at evading him until Bucky's metal hand shot in the diminishing space between the closing doors. You were trapped.
"Doll, didn't you hear me callin' to you?" he asked as he slid into the car with you.
You looked around, as if searching for another person in the car. "I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Should probably be more specific with your pet names, then. A girl’s liable to get confused." You were impressed that the words came out as hard and bitter as you felt inside.
Bucky flinched. "I deserved that."
You leaned forward to press the button for your floor before crossing your arms and glaring at him. "You fucking think?"
"Look, it just slipped out, okay? I didn't mean anything by it. It's not a big thing you needed to storm out over." You rolled your eyes at him, disgusted that that was the only thing he seemed to realize he'd done to offend you all evening. "Pocket, can we just talk about this?"
"Oh, now you want to talk to me?" you asked, jutting out your hip in annoyance. "Seemed like earlier today, you couldn't wait to not be seen with me, or do you no longer care if people get the wrong idea?"
"Alright," Bucky said, slamming his fist against the elevator's emergency stop button. You stumbled as the car came to a grinding halt. Bucky tried to put his hands on you to steady you, but you pushed him away. "What is going on with you today, Pocket?"
"What's going on with me?" you asked him, incredulous. "What's going on with you? You've been an ass to me all night, that is when you weren't acting like I didn't exist."
"How am I being an ass?" he asked, voice rising. "You're the one who couldn't even hold a civil conversation with our guest! It was embarrassing!" You recoiled as if he'd slapped you, backing away from him until your back hit the elevator wall.
"Wow. Okay then." You blinked heavily, telling yourself not to cry. You'd be damned if you showed weakness in front of him now. Bury the emotions, encase them in ice. "Sorry I'm such a fucking embarrassment to you, Sergeant Barnes. Now that I know how you feel, I'll make sure to stay out of your way so you don't have to put up with me." You moved to press the button to restart the elevator, but Bucky grabbed your wrist.
"Don't do this," he growled at you. "Don't hide behind snappy quips so you can shut down and avoid having a real conversation with me." You stared between his eyes and where he held your wrist in his metal grip. It wasn't tight enough to hurt, but it was tight enough to keep you from breaking free.
His gaze softened as he watched you. "I never said I was embarrassed of you, Pocket. I just don't know why you had to be so rude to Jade at dinner tonight."
"Name one thing I did that was rude to her," you challenged.
"Okay," Bucky stuck out a finger as though he were about to count off all your grievous errors. "Let's see... You said... No, that was Nat... You were... okay, Steve said that... You said... No, that was Nat again." He looked up at you sheepishly. "So, maybe you actually didn't say anything during dinner, but not talking to her was still rude."
You scoffed. "You want to talk rude and embarrassing, Bucky? Do you know how embarrassing it was to have everyone staring at me when you pulled out my chair for Jade, or when my own best friend didn't defend me when she had the audacity to call me a fucking tattler? Like I’m some kind of fucking child?" Your voice was rising and you could feel yourself getting swept up in your anger. "How about the pity looks I got when everyone heard you lie about not seeing anyone, or when you called her 'doll'? Or when you told her I was 'Avengers-adjacent'? You think I'm the embarrassing one? You made me feel like an insignificant piece of shit tonight, Barnes. God, if it hadn't been for Steve saying what he said, you would have driven me to tears."
Bucky had been staring down at his boots as you'd been speaking, as though your accusations were too much for him to face head-on, but at the mention of Steve's name, his head snapped up, blue eyes like ice on your face. "Well, if Steve's such a hero, why aren't you fucking him, then?" he asked, voice clipped and bitter.
You yanked your wrist free from his grasp. "Maybe I should start!" you shouted. "At least he's not embarrassed of me and doesn't forget I exist when another pair of tits shows up!"
Bucky's gaze darkened and in an instant, he was on you, caging your body against the elevator wall, a hand on either side of your head. "Don't you even fucking joke about that," he snarled.
You jutted out your chin, refusing to show any sign of weakness, though his actions were beginning to frighten you. "Who says I'm joking? Sounds like a good idea to me; thanks for suggesting it." You moved to duck under his arm, but he grabbed you by the shoulders, pinning you in place.
His breaths were coming hard and fast now, as though he'd just run a marathon. His gaze darted between your eyes and your lips, as though trying to make up his mind about something. In the next instant, his mouth was crashing down on yours, his tongue demanding entry.
You gasped at the sudden intrusion and Bucky took that as his invitation, deepening the kiss with a primal fervor. His hands gripped your waist, pulling you into him. For a moment, you were stunned, unsure of what was happening. But then instincts took over – he was kissing you, really kissing you. Your stomach fluttered and your heart hammered in your chest.
One of your hands ran through his hair, while the other gripped his shoulder for support. His hands had somehow migrated beneath your shirt, thumbs rubbing soothing circles into the bare skin at your sides. You returned his kiss with as much intensity as he gave. But then suddenly, as if waking from a dream, you remembered why you were angry with him. You pushed against his chest, breaking the kiss.
You were both panting, and despite your attempt to put distance between your bodies, Bucky leaned down, resting his forehead against yours as he fought to catch his breath. "Don't," he whispered hoarsely, his voice heavy with an emotion you couldn't quite place. "Don't sleep with Steve."
"You realize how incredibly infuriating you're being right now, don't you?" you asked. "You can't just treat me like that, ignore me all night in favor of someone else, then kiss me and try to tell me who I can or can't sleep with."
"I know, Sweetheart," he said, nuzzling your nose with his, "I know and I'm sorry, but please, promise me: no matter how angry you are with me, don't sleep with Steve. You wanna fuck someone else to piss me off? Go fuck Sam, Thor, Rhodes, hell, even Parker. I'll hate it, but if it's Steve, it'll fucking kill me."
"Your signals are all over the place tonight, Buck," you sighed, letting out an involuntary moan as his lips found the sweet spot on your neck and sucked at your skin. You had to pull away before he turned you into a babbling mess. "If you think you can just kiss me into oblivion and I'll forgive you for everything you've said and done tonight, you better think again, because that's not happening."
Bucky ran both his hands through his hair, sending it pointing every which way. Then he pressed the emergency stop button again, letting the elevator resume its journey. "I know I owe you an explanation, Pocket," he said. "So, can we go to your room and talk? No interruptions, no one else, just you and me, okay?"
You studied him, considering. A part of you was still so angry at him that you didn't want to hear him out, but the part of you that loved him hated the idea of leaving things in a bad place. In your line of work, you never knew when your next goodbye might be your last goodbye.
"Fine," you said, dropping your shoulders with a sigh. "We can talk, I'll hear you out, but I'm not promising forgiveness."
He smiled, his eyes bright once again. "That's all I ask, Sweets. That's all I ask."
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sweatervest-obsessed · 3 months
Text
Second Chances Are For Winners - Part 2
Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid
WC: 2k
TW: Swearing, mentions of blood, mentions of kidnapping, imprisonment, Criminal Minds General list of triggers apply here.
A/N: Howdy babes! I'm back in action (and in therapy!) so the will to write is stronger than ever. I am so excited that this is becoming a mini series since I loved the whole premise I had come up with last year. Pls enjoy part 2!
Part One
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Last Week
“We have a White Male in his late thirties, breaking and entering into single women’s homes.” Hotch started, he put his hands in his pockets and continued talking. “ We know he used to be homeless, or transient, because of the manner in which he is gaining access to home.”
 Derek took over. “Pickpocketing. He snags the women’s keys, makes a copy for himself, and then breaks into their houses, condos, apartments.” 
Emily gestured to the board in the front of the room. There were several images, along with a map in front of the officers. “We know this because he leaves the set of keys on the kitchen table, along with the polaroid of the woman he’s kidnapped.” 
Derek spoke up. “He’s targeting women in their late twenties, with high paying jobs. We assume this is due to some kind of grievance where he believes he was wronged, and left him feeling powerless.” 
Hotch nodded at Derek. “Think promotions of jobs, priorities, breakups, divorces—something that would make this man feel as if he is no longer fulfilling the role of the head of the household.” 
 Derek leaned against the desk. “He takes his time with them. We know this because there’s been a body a week for the past three. We are assuming that he has a new victim considering the newest body was found yesterday. And we know that he picks up a body on Monday nights, and dumps them early Friday Mornings.”
“Look through reports from tonight and this morning about anyone missing. Even if it’s just a concerned call about someone not showing up to work, we need to know about it.” Emily held her hands in front of her as she spoke to the group. She gave a brief smile to the officers looking up at her. “Thank you.” 
As the room started to clear out, Derek looked over at Spencer, who was just staring at the board, deep in thought. “Earth to Reid. Hey.” 
Reid snapped out of whatever depths of his mind he was in, and looked up at Morgan. “Sorry, sorry. What.” 
“What? That’s it? Reid you just blanked out of that entire session. What is goin’ on with you man?” 
Spencer shook his head. “Sorry I-I, I’m not really…Sorry. It’s just..”
“Just what.” 
Emily nudged Derek with her elbow. “Be nice.” 
Derek rolled his eyes, and trudged away. 
“I know he didn’t mean anything by it, but I can’t stop thinking about the security cameras. How has he not been seen, anywhere. L-Like, for example, when he goes and makes the copies of the keys, all of the locksmiths in town have cameras everywhere because of safety reasons, right? And-and-and, even if he didn’t go there, and went to a Walmart outside of the city, or something, they all absolutely have cameras that work. So how has this guy not been seen by anyone?” 
Emily nodded while Spencer continued to rant. “And I can’t quite figure out how—” Spencer pushed out of his chair by the window and went up to the board. 
Across the center of one of the whiteboards was a timeline.. 
“It’s such a specific timeline—A-As if he can only operate on those certain days, like he’s limited to Mondays and Fridays, because part of his week is blocked off.”
“Or.” Emily chimed in, following his train of thought. “Something triggers him every weekend, like he sees her…whoever she is, every weekend. Maybe he works in a restaurant, or something.” 
“But why would she go into a restaurant where she knows he is?” 
“To taunt him?” Derek pipes up. “Bring a new man in, once a week, on a first date. Show him how much better she’s doing?” 
“And risk her safety? I don’t think so.” Emily scoffed and turned back to the board. 
Headaches have always been your least favorite part of waking up from being knocked out by chloroform. You had never been knocked out via towel and drug before, but whenever you would watch your favorite crime-related shows, you would think about how god awful that headache must be when you wake up. 
And you were right. It was a fucking bitch. 
Your vision had spots dancing across it as you let out a groan from being conscious for the first time in god knows how long. You were still in your pajamas and weren’t shivering, which meant that wherever you were, was warm enough to keep you alive. 
You tried to move your hands but found that that was over your head, chained to the wall. The chain connecting both of your wrists was pegged into the wall like you were in some old castle during the Medieval Ages. If you weren’t dying of thirst and hunger, you would have found the situation almost comical. 
Once you got used to the complete lack of sunlight, you were able to make out the rest of the room, which was decorated with splatter across the walls and floor. It was obviously not a choice in decor, and more of a mess someone wasn’t willing to clean up. There was an outline of what seemed like bars at the far end of the room, directly across from a small wooden staircase that had been built up against the wall. 
It was a cell. 
You had been stuck in a cell like one of those prisoners in Pirates of the Caribbean, and it was not as silly and fun as Disney World had made it out to be. 
You went to speak, with only a sharp intake of air, and only a cough could come out. Luckily for you, the cough had alerted whoever was upstairs that you were awake, meaning that the silhouette of a man appeared at the top of the stairs when the door opened. 
You were just hop[ping this was one of those stupid melatonin induced dreams where something bad would happen but then you would wake up and suddenly you were safe in bed. As the man’s footsteps echoed louder and louder as they trudged down the stairs, you realized you couldn’t wake up. 
“You’re up. Good.” 
Your back pressed against the wall as you recognized the voice from the man standing at the bars of the cell. 
“What. Y/n hasn’t texted you today?” JJ  elbowed Reid lightly as the two of them were sitting next to each other in the bullpen. 
Reid blinked and looked up at her. “How did you…” 
“You’ve been reading the same page for fifteen minutes. Either you’re really trying to analyze…something, or you haven’t actually read the page and something was bugging you.”
Spencer scoffed but put the file down. 
JJ gave his shoulder a little squeeze. She was about to say something when Garcia walked into the room, eyes wide, carrying a file. “New—we have to…” 
That was all the two agents could pick out of her sentences before Garcia was in Hotch’s office. 
“No rest for the wicked.” Emily called out to the two of them as all three made their way towards the meeting room. 
Eventually the team had all gathered in the conference room and Garcia was setting up the screen. 
“There’s been another body.”
The team sighed and nodded. This killer in DC has been evading them for a whole month now, that they knew of. It was becoming increasingly frustrating since the killer wasn’t rushing, wasn’t speeding up. They were still as meticulous as before. And right on schedule, a new body was discovered. Same markings as before, handcuffs on the wrists, and a quite gruesome death. 
“Still no fingerprints?”  
Garcia sighed and nodded. “Nothing.”
“I just don’t get how someone can be so meticulous, and stick to a schedule, and then….do something like that to a person.”
Spencer sighed and looked at the map Garcia had updated for him. “At least we have a slight geological profile. He’s picking houses all over DC, but then dumping the bodies in West End and Kalorama.”
Spencer pointed to the map. “He’s literally forming a route. Look. The bodies are placed almost like a trail. This newest body just connects the rest.” 
“He’s gearing up to someone. And whoever it is probably lives and works….” Spencer looked over at Garcia. 
Garcia’s eyes widened. “Oh. Oh no. No no no no.” 
“What?” Emily looked between the two before looking over at Derek. 
“Spit it out baby girl, what’s going on.” 
“Uh…Y/n’s firm is in the West End, and she lives like a ten minute walk away in Kalorama…” She whispered. 
The whole team shifted their gaze to Spencer, who was frantically looking at all of the information over and over on the board, trying to find anything. 
“Just because she hasn’t texted you doesn;’t mean that she is the next victim of our killer guys, I mean come on. What are the odds of that.” Derek tried to talk Spencer out of whatever he had just induced for himself. 
Spencer shook his head and turned towards the team. “Who always has a strict schedule that they have to follow, even if it’s against their wishes. Court-mandated.” 
Derek was stunned into silence at the fact that Reid didn’t even bother giving him a pity statistic. 
Hotch spoke up. “She’s a lawyer right?” 
Spencer nodded. The team was not following where they were going with this. 
“Have any of her clients, or opposing councils given her grief recently? That you know of?” 
Spencer was about to shake his head but then remembered what you had told him last night. “S-She has this, uh, client, that doesn’t like the schedule he was ordered to by the court. And hasn’t left her alone now...for weeks…blowing up her phone…she told me about him last night, complaining that he hasn’t stopped calling her work phone and somehow even got her personal number…” 
“So you talked to her last night.” Derek crossed his arms. 
“She texted me saying she made it home b-because she fell asleep at her office and walked home…at two in the morning...” 
Hotch nodded and stood up. “We’re going to head down to the main station, and bring all new information with us. Clear?”
“I already sent it over to them electronically sir.” Garcia piped up. 
Hotch nodded. Everyone exited the room, but Hotch and Reid stayed back. When the last person had left, Hotch closed the door and looked at Reid. 
“I’m not going to tell you to sit this out. I know you, and I’d rather have you focused on the task at hand with us than trying to do your own investigating.You have emotional stakes in this Reid. And you know how that clouds judgment. Every single decision you make, you run by me. Clear?” 
Reid set his jaw and exhaled, but agreed to Hotch’s request. There would be more room for arguing when you were found safe and sound. 
Reid’s silence continued throughout the next twenty minutes and then in the car on the way to the station as well. Every single one of the agents could tell this case was going to be a lot more painful than initially believed. 
And Spencer was freaking the fuck out. All he could do was sit and stare out the window as the building passed, a sinking feeling in his gut that wherever you were, it wasn’t pretty. He just didn’t understand how he failed to miss the literal trail of bodies the killer had been leaving for you. Literal warning signs in front of you. And he let you walk home alone last night. 
It was his fault. He should have known better. 
Spencer had just found you again—he couldn’t stand to lose you a second time. 
_____________________________________________________________
Next Part
Also! Tags! It's so crazy to me that y'all actually want to be tagged in my work so I am seriously so grateful. <3
@sadroses98 @teddy-275 @teddy-275 @donttrustlove @donttrustlove
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Note
AITA for not wanting to hang out with my boyfriend’s best friend?
My [33F] boyfriend’s [30M] (we’ll call him R) best friend (30s M) (call him D) is chronically late but also never communicates anything. I have ADHD and like I get it. I have all the patience in the world for people who are late if they communicate they will be late. But D will never communicate anything, ever.
R and D have a standing game night on Fridays where they go for dinner and play board games. D “normally” comes between 4-5pm. He picks up his kids from school at 3:30, drops them home with his partner and then drives over. It is a 30 minute drive. But in the past, both on regular Friday meetings, and for other meetups, he has been significantly late (3 hours, once!) without saying a word all day.
R wants me to join them on Friday evenings. I don’t have a traditional ‘job’ but I am a crafter with many things to do and also, as mentioned, I have ADHD. Part of that means I really need a specific time to go and do something otherwise I will just be stuck in like “wait mode” all day unable to do anything because I don’t know when I need to stop doing it. The first time I went out with R & D I did lose the whole day (no work done) because we could get no actual information from D on when he was coming, and he ended up not arriving until after 5pm.
I told D I didn’t appreciate not being able to properly plan my day, and that providing a heads up about these things is generally considered polite. I also made it clear afterwards to R that if D continued to not communicate anything and just “turn up whenever, at some point after 4, maybe” then I would not be joining them on board game nights. 
Today I once again only had “4-5ish, I guess” but by 4:30 not only was D not here but R had heard nothing from him, and suspected he had not even left. I told R I was not coming, I had already mostly lost the day - having stopped work several hours before - but I would at least be reclaiming the evening.
At 5:15 R called me to say that D had been arranging to have his partner come, and had been sorting out childcare (in the form of D’s mum). He at no point earlier in the day had said anything about this to R. In fact they hadn’t spoken at all. D then told R they would be leaving at around 5:45, so wouldn’t be here until at least 6:15.
I reiterated that I would not be coming. It was a boundary I set before and was very clear about, and was now enforcing it. D could have said much earlier that he was planning on inviting his partner, would have to arrange childcare, and would likely be later than usual. He chose not to do that, so I am choosing to not go.
R then got upset with me and said he would not be coming over to spend the night at my place the following evening (we have a normal routine on who stays where which days, and he knows unexpectedly changing that without any discussion at all will also mess with my ability to do things. The routine is important to me) because I was being unfair. 
I told him, again, it’s a firm boundary for me. People who won’t communicate anything at all when you have plans (even loose ones) aren’t respecting other people’s time. Even if that’s not the intention it’s still just… rude to the other person. Other people still have lives when you’re not there, and expecting everyone else to just be ready for “whenever” you feel like showing up without a word is not ok. Again, if it happens only once in a while because Shit Happens that’s different. But if it’s every time, with everyone, forever, then really you’re just a bit inconsiderate.
R says he doesn’t feel that way because he doesn’t have anything going on so it doesn’t bother him, so he isn’t upset with D (even though I have things on, so it does impact and bother me, his partner) but he is upset with me because I am “making him feel bad”. D’s complete lack of communication and lateness is not the problem, the fact I am annoyed about it and choosing to stay home is the problem. I said it is not fair to blame me for this turn of events when (unlike D) I was VERY clear beforehand that I wouldn’t be going if this happened, and that if nothing else he should still be at least a little annoyed with D for not respecting my time after I’d already spoken to him about it.
Instead of actually sitting D down and properly telling him “look I don’t have things to do but L does and it does bother her when you don’t communicate anything so it is messing with her work when you do this and that is not ok”, R then said he just won’t invite me to anything ever again. So I can’t be upset if he’s late.
AITA for refusing to go to board game night?
What are these acronyms?
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badgerbl00d · 1 year
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one piece boys falling in love at first sight
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☆ characters: ace, rayleigh, marco
☆ up next: one piece characters with a jealous gf
☆ a/n: my last post generated a lot of new followers and requests! i'm so happy and am excited to start working on all the requests. i also will be posting a master list soon so thank u for being patient with me on that front haha. enjoy! &lt;3
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ace
1k words
“Welcome aboard!!”
Cheers erupted from the crew, as they all swarmed the deck.
Joining the Whitebeard Pirates was always celebrated with an enormous party. 
The sun had started to set but it still beat down relentlessly on the ship and Ace craned his neck to try and get a better view.
You were all the crew had been talking about for weeks. 
Some thief who had managed to steal from the Whitebeard Pirates and get away with it. 
He remembers how Whitebeard laughed when Izo and Thatch came moping back from inventory, nearly pissing themselves when they were forced to admit they’d been got by an amateur. 
Whitebeard had ordered that you be tracked down immediately because anyone who stole from him with that much skill and audacity deserved a spot on his crew. 
After a few weeks of searching, Izo came back with you. 
From what he’d heard you weren’t easy to convince. 
There was alcohol being passed around and the spray of champagne bottles being opened left and right misted his neck. 
He pushed through everyone and began making his way toward the front.
He eventually bumped into Marco who’d secured a front-row seat, downing beer as your fellow pirates all came to get a look at you. 
“What’s the big fuss? Can’t get any damn sleep around here,” he groaned. 
Marco laughed, “Jealous that you’re not the shiny new toy anymore?”
“Barely.”
Both men had given up on trying to get a look at you and decided they’d wait for everything to die down.
“Want a beer?” 
Ace nodded and readily accepted the cool can, chugging it within seconds.
“It’s hot as hell out here.”
Marco took another sip of his drink, “If you feel hot how do you think I feel.”
“Well you’re kind of fire too, you know, like- the whole phoenix thing is-”
“Yeah, yeah, but it’s different though.”
“I mean, you could argue that the blue fire is hotter than the red part.”
“Yeah, dumbass, but the point of my devil fruit isn’t fire.”
“Okay well, they’re close enough.”
The heat got the better of the both of them and they gave up their argument, both fairly moody at the heat and the noise. 
“When’s the food part starting.”
“Soon probably, apparently Thatch has the hots for the kid.”
Ace choked a bit on his drink.
“What do you mean? Like he thinks he’s hot?”
“She.”
This caught Ace even more off-guard. 
“She!?”
Now he really wanted to get a look at you.
After another few minutes, the crowd relented, and people started making their way back to the rest of the ship. 
As the group of cheering pirates around you thinned, you felt relief flooding your senses. 
You took a deep breath and walked on board the Moby Dick.
It was massive. Now that you could actually see it, you realized just how intimidating of a ship this really was. Of course, you’d had a general idea since you did rob it blind, but still. It was different when you were a welcome guest. 
Ace took his chance now, and as the last of your welcoming party dissipated he made his way over to you.
As if on cue, you turned to look at him. 
The sun was positioned perfectly behind your head and framed you in a sort of angelic light, it poured up and over your frame from behind you, casting golden hues through your h/c hair. 
He stopped in his tracks, one foot still caught mid-step, trailing behind the other.
You were… pretty.
The slight breeze that had been brought with sunset, swept through your hair, leaving your face completely out in the open.
Your lips were slightly parted, had you been saying something?
He didn’t know, he was too enraptured with everything else. 
You stood tall, it was clear you had pride to spare.
Your tan skin glimmered with the same regal hue as your hair, and never in his life had Ace felt that something- someone had commanded his attention so thoroughly with just their presence. 
You walked toward him, Oh my god she’s walking toward me.
He was proud and he had abundant confidence in his worth but if he’d ever doubted that, it was now that he did. 
You extended a hand towards Ace, and as if moving through honey your movement was gentle and smooth, but certain. 
“Hi! I’m Y/n, I think I’ve seen your wanted posters before. You-”
Whatever else you said wasn’t registered by the freckled boy in front of you. 
His cheeks were red and his eyes set.
He was breathing deeply, hanging onto everything you did, drinking in the magnificent sight of you.
He instinctively reached his hand up toward his head to take off his hat and hold it against his chest.
Your voice was silky and hung in the air like cigarette smoke. 
The way you looked at him, your eyes intensely focused and direct, had his knees feeling shaky. 
Any ounce of ego left in his body from the first sight of you, drained out of him as you spoke.
His brain was flushed with sudden anxieties.
Had he come across as a creep? What if you took to the other guys? He was young and maybe you wanted something else? Maybe you didn’t even want a guy at all and your ambitions involving piracy had nothing to do with men! 
You looked at him with a puzzled look, your nose wrinkled slightly.
“Are you okay?”
Fuck, she’s so cute.
If he had been less out of it, he would have heard Marco’s cackling in the background.
“Real smooth, Ace!” Thatch yelled from the balcony outside the kitchen.
You laughed, She laughed!
Ace blinked back the muddled thoughts and premature anxieties that had started fuzzing his thoughts. 
You were giggling to yourself and seemed nearly ready to try and introduce yourself to the next person. 
Ace had a million things he wanted to say to you, but he had time. You both had all the time in the world. 
So he instead opted to tip his hat and flash you a smile. 
“Hi.”
rayleigh
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A quick stop, Roger had promised.
No more than two days, he’d said.
Everyone knew he was lying, and that they’d be landbound for at least a week, but no one was going to complain.
Almost no one.
“Roger, we should get going,” Rayleigh urged, but the Captain was three beers and ฿3,000 into a game of poker. They wouldn’t be leaving until morning.
Roger laughed loudly, earning stares from the bar's patrons. 
“What’re you in such a rush for?! There’re women and booze all over the island, go find some to your liking and quit complainin’!” He laughed again and Rayleigh gave up and decided he’d just head back to the ship for now. He’d send someone to pick up the captain in the morning. 
He didn’t mind the island itself. It was a spring island, and the clime sat at a gentle temperature, with easy-going winds. Tall grass covered the majority of the island and flowers were in bloom all over. 
Yellow daffodils and pink tulips littered the island, dotting the hills and fields with spots of color. 
He made his way slowly back toward the ship, taking more time than usual to enjoy the scenery. If he was going to be stuck here he may as well enjoy it. 
The sun was just about the set, and vibrant hues of orange colored the sky and with his hands in his pockets, he wandered through the hills back to sea. 
The island had no real port, there was just a bay where ships parked. There weren’t any walkways or built-in passages from which to disembark from the ship, you simply had to drop the anchor and paddle or swim to the rocky shore. The grass grew right up to the edge of the ocean, and he sat down in it, deciding he’d wait until it got dark. 
A soft rustling to his left caught his attention.
Tucked in the grass, was a girl sleeping, a book in her hands. 
She was wearing a white dress, and it moved together with the grass, back and forth, pushed by the wind.
A cool breeze ran through your body and with a slight shiver, you slowly blinked your eyes open, pushing yourself up onto your elbows, rolling onto your stomach. 
You flipped through the pages of your book, going back and forth a few times before deciding to close it altogether. 
You sat up, stretching your arms out over your head, letting your hair fall over your shoulders. 
Rayleigh was, for lack of a better term, entranced. 
He was completely hypnotized by the sight of you. 
He felt as though you’d materialized before him, a beautiful fairy or something similar.
He’d heard stories of sailors coming across women whose beauty stopped them in their tracks. Women that they thought about every night after those initial encounters, held a complete hold on their minds.
He thought that now he felt something similar. 
He felt awkward just sitting and watching you, and thought he might say something. 
A tug in his chest urged him to stand up and try and present himself, but he felt an irritating nervousness spread throughout his body.
C’mon, Rayleigh.
He was usually so… good at this. 
If he saw a pretty girl at a bar or a port or an island he would just talk to her. 
Everything after that came naturally. 
He was a Roger pirate for god’s sake, people around the globe feared him and revered him, and yet… and yet with every breath, he took to try and start a sentence he came up blank. 
The thirty seconds he’d spent trying to speak to you felt like an hour and he thought his heart might stop when you’d turned around to look at him. 
“Oh! Hello!”
He drew in a breath. 
The colored sunset light fell on your face and illuminated your features in soft hues.
Your eyes widened slightly at the man standing before you and you gave him an awkward smile. 
“Have you been standing there a long time?”
An accusatory look settled on your face, and your lips settled into a frustrated pout.
“I, um, yes,” he admitted, a blush creeping onto his face, “I wasn’t- I mean- I had just sat here to enjoy the, um-”
“Yeah, yeah, you creep, I get it.”
You laughed as you said this, and he relaxed a little.
“You’re not from around here are you?” you asked.
“What gave it away?”
“You seem surprised that someone was sleeping outside. It’s normal here, I swear I’m not some weirdo or anything. Our grass is known for being soft.”
He sat back down, slightly closer to you this time.
“What’s that?”
You sat closer to him, pointing to the log pose on his wrist. 
“It’s a compass. Pirates use it on the Grand Line, it works by using the magnetism from each island to route the way toward the next one.”
“You’re a pirate! You don’t look like one! Or act like one.”
“Don’t be so sure.”
You giggled, and he felt completely swept up by your presence. How quickly you started trusting him, the curiosity in your voice that only grew with each question he answered. 
You continued asking him questions, what being a pirate was like, why he was a pirate, and who else did he know that was a pirate. Had he killed anybody?
The more you talked, the more he started feeling like himself. His wittiness and sarcasm started slowly coming back to him, he was able to put aside his awe for your beauty in exchange for his usual flirtiness.
The dynamic between you seemed to shift back and forth between who felt bold and who felt shy. 
“Do you drink?”
“Do I look like I drink?”
Rayleigh laughed, and you joined him. 
Night had set hours ago, yet you kept talking as though you had all the time in the world.
You inched even closer to him, he sat with his legs crossed, and you sat on your knees, feet tucked underneath you. 
You were facing each other and you leaned forward, bringing your lips closer to his.
“When do you leave?”
He tucked some stray pieces of hair behind your ear, trailing a hand down your face.
You rested your head against his palm, looking up at him. 
“Soon.”
“That’s too bad. I like you a lot. You’re more than a pretty face.”
Rayleigh smiled at that, “I haven’t heard that one before!”
In a burst of energy and eagerness you pressed your lips to his, and just as quickly retracted. 
He smiled again, bigger this time, and brought his arms around your waist, holding you in place. 
You pressed another kiss to his lips, still too quickly for him to reciprocate. 
He laughed and you felt proud at the blush you saw coloring his cheeks. 
“Tell me, pirate, are you busy tonight?”
“Not at all, pretty.”
“Would you like to be?”
“Very much.
marco 
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“Why can’t you send Ace to do it?”
“‘Cause I sent ‘im to go get fish from the market,” Thatch explained, “And before you ask, I can’t go either ‘cause I’ll be here. Cooking.”
“Alright, alright, I’ll be back soon.”
Marco threw on a sweater and made his way into the town they were staying in. Thatch was all worked up and excited since they’re known for their produce and food quality.
Naturally, everyone had been sent out to get different ingredients for him.
Marco looked down at the short list he was given, ‘Apples’. 
‘Very concise,’ he thought to himself. 
It was midday and the sun was shining. It was fairly warm on the island, and it was covered in trees. 
There were several signs that pointed him towards the location of the apple farm your family owned. 
He found it with ease and walked around for a bit when he didn’t see anyone out front. 
Every tree was teaming with ripe apples of all kinds. Overripe ones littered the floor and there were some chickens walking around. 
He had been walking for no more than five minutes before he saw you.  
You were reaching up to try and grab the apples that were up on the higher branches of the tree.
You strained your arms upward, using the trunk of the tree as support, your long legs balancing on the tips of your toes. 
Your short dress slid up against your thighs, revealing a soft tan line. 
A few beads of sweat formed on your forehead and after your third reach with no success, you gave up. 
He could feel the pace of his heartbeat start to pick up slightly. 
You looked so calm and at ease. The line of your body as you stretched upward was tantalizing and he couldn’t look away. 
He didn’t want to scare you so he gently cleared his throat.
You turned around in a panic, knocking over a few of the apples in the full baskets that were on the floor next to you.
“Oh! Welcome! Sorry! Sorry- I’m the only one in today and I was trying to get a few more baskets full,” you explained to him. 
“No worries,” Marco said. His voice was deep and he sounded so laid back. 
You were still a bit too far to converse at a normal volume so you walked to him, caught off-guard by how handsome he was. 
He wasn’t wearing anything surprising, nor was he doing anything that was out of the ordinary but you could tell that he wasn’t from around here. 
His hands were calloused and he had a few visible scars spread across the visible parts of his skin.
“What can I get for you today,” you smiled at him. 
“I was sent out for apples! I suppose I’ll take two baskets pleas-”
Marco’s voice trailed off and he cut off his own sentence as he looked and actually made eye contact with you. 
Oh, god. 
He knew you’d probably be hot based on what he’d seen earlier but you were… unspeakably beautiful. 
Your cheeks were full and bright.
Your lips were a lively pink and your eyes caught the shifting glimmers of sunlight in them.
Your hair was pulled back into two messy braids and your loose strands of hair swept back and forth over your face. 
You were unbelievably flattered. 
Naive as you were to love and its complications, you knew what a tempted man looked like. 
An unfamiliar sensation tugged at your chest. You felt like the tendons and muscles around your heart were opening and contracting wildly. 
Your breath hitched in your throat and settled itself right on your vocal cords, you couldn’t say anything. 
You both held a hilariously awkward form of eye contact for several moments. 
Marco swallowed and cleared his mind, regaining his composure to the best of his ability.
“Two of these,” he said again, blinking his gaze down toward the floor as he gestured down toward the basket. 
You took a deep breath and nodded, grabbing another basket for him. 
They were heavier than they looked and after watching your two failed tries at lifting the baskets, Marco offered some help. “Oh, y-yes, please! Thanks,” you said, stepping back as he walked over and picked up the baskets with ease.
“How much do I owe ya?”
“Um.. j-just ฿15.”
“Fifteen?! That’s it?”
“We have, um, a discount going on right now... For handsome travelers.”
Why would I say that? Oh my god, why would I say that!? your cheeks started to rapidly heat up and you shuffled your feet nervously.
Your heart started beating faster against your chest when Marco responded, “How sweet. Take this as a tip then.”
He had a devilishly handsome smile on his face, and you looked at the money he was handing you. “Oh fifty is way too much- I can’t accept that, that’s more than the two baskets would normally be anyway.”
“Well, this is what I always tip beautiful girls.”
You laughed, trying to ignore the rising temperature of your face. 
How embarrassing to be this easily flustered. 
He smiled at you, clearly enjoying himself. 
“C’mon, I insist,” he closed your hand around the money and gently guided your hand back toward your chest. 
You pouted, feeling guilty that he gave you so much money.
“You’re sure?”
“Sweetheart, I’m a pirate,” he said, “There’s a lot more where this came from.”
His voice was full of confidence but he was so relaxed. 
It made your stomach twist.
The way he carried himself- you could tell he was dangerous, but he was so laid back. 
“A pirate?”
He nodded.
You put the money away, and played with the ends of your braids, unsure of what to say to him. 
He bent down, one arm on each side of you.
Your breath caught in your throat and you stood frozen still.
He picked up the baskets, one in each hand, from your sides.
“As much as I’d love to spend the rest of my day here, I’m afraid I have to report back soon.”
You nodded, sheepishly looking down at the floor. 
He smiled at you again, winking this time. 
He turned and started walking back toward the entrance.
You knew you’d probably never see him again and a kind of unknown anxiety made its way to your chest. 
“Wait!” you called out, running after him.
He turned around.
“Will... Will I see you again?”
This time a less nonchalant smile spread across the Commander’s face. 
“Oh, absolutely,” he teased, “I’ve got wanted posters in every town from here to North Blue.”
You pouted again.
So cute! Marco thought to himself.
“You know what I mean.”
“I can work something out.”
“What’s your name?” you asked.
“Marco,” he answered, “What’s yours?”
“Y/n.”
“Pretty name for a pretty face.”
You smiled. 
He couldn’t help but stare. 
It suddenly dawned on Marco the Phoenix, First Commander of the Whitebeard Pirates, that he was positively, undoubtedly fucked. 
You stood in front of him, waiting for him to say something else. 
“You’ll see me again,” he said, this time with unwavering certainty,
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 6. Don’t make plans for the next morning.”
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rorywritesjunk · 7 months
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I felt the need to elaborate on Buggy as the Ultimate Girl Dad, because I am loving every Buggy as a Dad fic I've come across and decided to add into it. It's a mix of head canons and fic of all eight daughters and when they were born. Also can be read as anime Buggy or OPLA Buggy!
Rating: PG-13 because innuendos. Warnings: Childbirth, mentions of a difficult labor. A/N: I had a lot of fun just thinking up names for all eight daughters.
Buggy’s Eight Daughters
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The first daughter, Lil Buggy (Lil or LB for short) is a clone of her dad in looks and personality. The first to inherit his nose (much to his distress) and the first one to really experience ship life. When she was two weeks old, Buggy bound her to his body while climbing up to the crow’s nest of his ship so he could show her the views of the sea. You nearly killed him for that. And while Buggy wanted to name her Buggy Junior, or BJ for short, you killed that idea immediately. 
“I don’t want BJ for her nickname. People may make fun of her!” You said as Buggy walked around your room with the newborn, keeping her close to him as he gazed down at her. 
“But come on, that’s what started that night we had when she was conci-” He looked up with a smirk and you resisted throwing a pillow at him. Not while he was holding the baby.
“Buggy!”
Mae was the second daughter. She was born with a full head of bright blue hair and your nose. Unlike her older sister, she was a bit easier. She was born when LB was about to turn 2, and well, older sister wasn’t too sure how to feel about a new baby joining the family. Surprisingly, Buggy noticed his daughter having more tantrums and generally being a terror since she wasn’t getting all of her parents’ attention, so he took to carrying her on his back while Mae would be strapped on his front, being the Ultimate Pirate Dad. He just had to remember LB was on his back when he sat down (which he sometimes did forget she was there because she often fell asleep back there).
“Oof, daddy!” A tiny voice squealed from behind him. It took Buggy a moment to realize LB was on his back again, so he jumped up from his seat and turned his head around to look at her.
“What are you doing back there?!” He asked, always sounding surprised. She fixed him with a glare that was so like his own it was a little terrifying. He got her off his back and sat back down in his seat, holding her into his lap while he turned his head back around to face his crew.
Cherry and Apple were next. Buggy wasn’t there when they were born. He was off dealing with the Strawhats, and while you never chose a name for the babies until a few days later, you took one look at them and decided on the names. Just like their oldest sister, the two of them had Buggy’s nose, and well, you thought the names would be as cute as their bright red noses. Cherry was the more daring of the two. Buggy literally had to keep one hand ready to grab her in case she decided to go overboard or climb up ropes on the ship. Apple was a little more cautious, choosing to stick near you more often than not. While Cherry was happy to join her father with the circus shows, Apple stayed off to the sides to watch.
“You named them what?” Buggy asked as he held newborn Apple in his arms. “Why?!”
“The names just popped in my head, Buggy!” You insisted as you cradled Cherry against your bare skin. “Besides, the names are perfect for them! Look at their little noses, like bright red apples and cherries!”
Buggy wasn’t sure how he felt about you comparing the inherited nose to fruit, but he wasn’t about to argue with a woman who’d already birthed four children, three of which had that same nose. 
Another set of twins came a year and a half later. Buggy decided having a midwife on board may be ideal since he couldn’t seem to stop getting you pregnant (not that you were complaining, it was split 50/50 who initiated these things). He was there this time. Lil Buggy and Mae helped with the names for their sisters. When you and Buggy sat the four girls down to tell them about having another sibling, Lil Buggy had pointed out the rainbow in the distance and Mae asked if that would be the new baby’s name. Buggy looked like would cry at that. 
“Wait, twins, again?!” Buggy exclaimed as he was handed the first baby. “We were expecting just one!”
“Sometimes the other one stays a secret, Captain.” The midwife replied calmly as she helped with the next one. “Better start thinking of a second name.”
Yea, right. When Cabaji let the four girls into the room once you were ready, Mae and Lil Buggy looked at the two twin girls before looking up at their parents.
“Rain and Bow!” Both insisted. You were too tired to disagree and Buggy was still in shock, especially since they had his nose again. He was wondering if he needed to propose marriage to you for birthing six kids already.
Buggy indeed proposed to you. It was flashy, with cannons, fire, and all six daughters running around with sparklers. You said yes because while you loved the flashy fool, you also wanted to douse the sparklers before something caught fire. 
Six daughters already. When Lil Buggy was 10, Mae was 8, Apple and Cherry 6, and Rain and Bow not quite 4, you announced one night at dinner that you were, again, pregnant. The reactions were as such:
“That explains a lot.” Buggy grumbled as he looked down at his plate. You glared at him and he followed with, “Explains why you have a radiant glow about you, my love!”
“Again?!” Lil Buggy exclaimed. “Can you two stop? There’s no more room!”
“Why?” Mae asked. “Why do you want more kids?”
“Where do babies come from?” Apple asked, looking at Buggy. He was not ready for this conversation.
“We picked you and Cherry out of a treasure chest, just like your sisters and just like this baby.” Buggy said quickly. “That’s how we get babies. From treasure chests.”
“Oh.” Apple seemed fine with that response but Cherry looked confused. 
“Why does mama get fat then?” She asked innocently. Buggy was about to say something but one look from you silenced him.
“Oh my God.” He whined. “Another one?”
Rain and Bow just kept eating while Buggy questioned his life choices in that moment and you looked ready to throw him overboard.
Inheriting his nose stopped with Rain and Bow, but his hair followed his daughters. When you gave birth to the 7th daughter, the family had been carving pumpkins as a fun activity. While some parents would worry about their children holding knives, you were more concerned about your husband with one. You decided to get up and grab some bandages from the midwife when it happened. She took one look at you, sighed, and led you to your room to help you give birth. It happened so quick that Buggy came to look for you after about a half hour and found you with a newborn in your arms.
“How! What?!” His jaw dropped seeing the baby in your arms. You just shrugged as you looked down at the newborn.
“Can we name her Pumpkin?” You asked. “I think it would be a fun story to tell, you know, what we were doing when she was born.”
Buggy wasn’t going to disagree with you.
The eighth and final daughter was born during a storm. Giving birth on the ship while waves crashed along it was not ideal. The other seven girls were hunkered in the room with you while you gave birth. Buggy was holding you while you screamed, threatening to kill him after you were done. This was, by far, the most difficult birth of the girls. Lil Buggy and Mae did what they could to entertain the other girls, hoping to get their attention away from your screams and cries while the ship rocked violently. Hours passed until they heard the cries of a newborn. The storm seemed to pass as well, and Buggy was crying as he held his newest daughter.
Lil Buggy, being the eldest, approached first to look. She saw the blue hair and sighed. “You won’t be able to tell us apart if you saw us all from behind, you know.”
“Yea, well, I’ll learn to tell you brats apart.” Buggy shot back. You were resting, having been given something by the midwife to help you sleep. The labor had been a rough one, and you were going to need your strength to keep up with the family.
“What’s this one gonna be called?” LB asked as she gestured for her sisters to come over. “I think mom needs to stop naming us, she’s getting silly with them.”
“What should we name her?” Buggy asked his eldest, his attention on the sleeping bundle in his arms. He glanced up at her. “I’m asking you.”
LB looked taken aback and scratched her head. “Um… why not… Crash?” 
“Crash?” Buggy repeated. He was about to comment that that was silly, but considering what the last few hours were like, he was glad she didn’t go with a weather related name. “Y’know, I think Crash is appropriate.”
Buggy decided as a Rite of Passage for Piracy, his girls would join him in a raid when they turned 14. You knew it was something of importance for him, and you trusted he wouldn’t get them hurt. They could protect themselves as well, and by the time Crash turned 14, each girl had their chance. Buggy deemed them all official crew members when they returned from each raid and always held a party for them. With Crash being the last one to go through with it, Buggy couldn’t help but feel a little sad his girls were all growing up. He wouldn’t get to do those fun “Firsts” again like he had with the others. He would never admit to anyone but you, but he liked being a dad.
A few months after Crash’s raid, and the girls were readying for another fun day of piracy, you pulled your husband aside for a brief meeting.
“Babe, if you want me, just ask. We don’t have to sneak around.” Buggy teased as his hands went to your waist, a big grin on his face. You put both hands on his cheeks and tilted his head down so you could look him in the eyes.
“Sneaking around is what caused this, Buggy.” You told him. “I’m pregnant.”
The scream from the clown was heard all over the ship and no doubt all around the seas.
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