how about I don't have mood swings anymore

A Star is Born (2018)

TW V3NT, ABVS3, GRAP3

you ever been in a 10 months abvs1v3 relat1ionship when the guy was 5 yrs older (you where 12) and then 5 months in he moves away so its long distance and for a month you go into ana recovery and when he came back he r worded you more than twice a day and got his friends to do it to you on camera because you had ga¡n3d w3¡ght so you st0pped 3at1ng anymore and now you feel like your nothing other than your afab body and that there is no way you are l0vabl3 anymore and he used you as a pvnch1ng bag esp when you ever ate so now your only reaction to eating "too much" is to r3l4ps3 and consider s3wersl1de?? yeah haha not me neverrr

After the long Easter weekend I’m back at work and back to behaving. Here’s what I’ve had today

Fat free yogurt; 100g - 50 cal

Strawberries; 50g - 20 cal

Toasted baguette pieces: 15g - 65 cal

Tomato basil tuna; 85g - 110 cal

My total cals for the day is 245, good enough for me.

NIE BO JA CHYBA MAM PRZERWE MIEDZY UDAMI ?????? ALBO MI SIE ZDAJE ALBOS ERIO I KURWA????????? RADOŚĆ WIELKA?!

The body envy is real..

😅

Like fuuuuck why can’t I just have the body I want? Why is it so difficult to achieve goals and dreams when you have mental illnesses? Like honestly.

I think I have finally finds the love of my life, I hope so, I really love him but I don't know how to tell him 😔

The amount of skipped meals because of society telling me I'm fat

But in reality I was perfect

But I couldn't love my body

So I developed an eating disorder

Now I'm living with the consequences

i need to go to a therapy but should i

just tagged something about mental health and put some of my diagnoses in the tag and I’m like damn that’s a lot

anyone who has multiple psychiatric diagnoses please remember that it’s not us being especially fucked

the comorbidity for these things are very high and so it’s not uncommon at all for individuals to have multiple diagnoses

especially if you were exposed to chronic stress, abuse, or other trauma growing up. many people carry the genetic material to have the same mental health issues as you, but may never experience it because they didn’t have the same traumas or stresses. That stress can cause otherwise dormant traits in the genes to express themselves as mental disorders.

There’s nothing wrong with you. Nothing wrong with who you are. You’re not inherently “flawed”, and you’re not flawed now. Yes, you may be suffering with a mental or psychiatric disorder or disability on a daily basis that makes functioning for you much harder than the “average” person, there’s no doubt about that and I’m not diminishing that.

But remember that mental health issues are still HEALTH issues. You don’t decide to become unwell. There are very real, biological phenomena that cause you to process and experience the world in a different way.

Your home environment, your diet, your climate and latitude, how your mother attached to you when you were a baby, whether or not you had support when you went through a traumatic experience, your income level, your physical health, and so so so so so many other factors contribute to your mental well-being. Sometimes, even once you’re out of all undesirable circumstances, because those genes have already expressed themselves in a disordered way, the condition you experience is chronic, lifelong, and never fully goes away.

But it’s okay. It’s treatable, it’s manageable, and with the right resources and support you can still live a life where you can find some meaning and fulfillment, indulging in things you enjoy and investing in what plays to your strengths. It’s not always struggle. I promise.

*im not a health professional in any way, I’m simply sharing from my 12+ years experience of treatment, and my extensive, desperate research.

The road to recovery looks different for everyone, and you can't compare yourself to others and their journeys. It doesn't mean yours is worse or you're doing a worse job, it just means that your path is different and that's okay.

I think this is just who I am now.

Am I the only one who queefs wayyy more now that I’m anorexic than when I wasn’t???

I want to be so thin that the wind blows me away so I don't have to deal with my problems anymore