#and i guess i'm tired about all of this just getting... tossed out the window | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

i-literally-cant-with-this · 4 months

Text

Potential TW ::: Difficulty conceiving. & for my vomit-sensitive friends, here's a mildly changed version: PUKE FREE EDIT

A/N ::: I am so tired tonight that this was not super proofed. This was an ask that came via my messages. They wanted a story with the spicy and the sweet parts of Kats & F.reader tryin' for a baby. I hope it has all the elements you wanted and that you like it!

C/W ::: Aged up Kats x f.reader, several mentions of vomiting & other facial fluids being discharged (snot, tears, puke). Oral M->F Quite a bit of P->V. Lovey dovey stuff, sweet moments between 2 people who just want a freakin' baby. Ok? 😭

WC ::: 4,923 (Jesus christ, I'm so sorry. This totally got away from me and I don't even know how.)

"Hey babe, it's me." Katsuki said in his usual growly voice. "I guess you're still at work or somethin'. Anyway, I'll be home tomorrow night. Also, I'been holdin' back. So, be ready for me. I love you, call me if ya want."

Katsuki was out of town on a job. He's been gone for almost a week now, the longest you two have been apart since you got married, almost 2 years ago. You missed him, sure. But when he came home, stomping through the entryway, yelling for you, it was the best feeling to be wrapped up in his arms and smooshed into his chest.

The two of you have been leaving yourselves open to having a baby for about 4 months now. It hasn't been constant trying, but the longer it goes that you're not getting pregnant, the more you feel like you're needing to take this more seriously. You started reading up on the most productive positions to get the result you're looking for, studying what you can do before and after you do the deed. How to check your basal temperature. When doctor intervention becomes more than a discussion and an absolute necessity.

The phone beeps, alerting you to your missed call and voicemail. "What ... oh, damn it." You listen to the message Katsuki left you and couldn't help the soft pink blush that spread over your face and chest. No man had ever made you feel the way he has. You had been pretty reserved until he helped you tap into your inner slutty girl. It sounds bad, but you've not looked back once since he brought you out of your little sexual shell. And why should you? Every time you're with him you swear it's the best sex you've ever had. Point being, you got really lucky to have him love you and be able to love him.

Pushing #1 on speed dial, you hear the other line ringing and start praying to whatever gods would listen to you that he'd answer his phone.

"Hey brat. Y'ignorin' me now or some shit like that? The fuck ya think ya are?" You could hear him choke out a laugh. The background noise was almost louder than he was.

"You know it, you caught me. Trying to ignore you. What're you gonna do about it?" You giggled when you heard his breath hitch in his throat. Your voice got low and breathy, "You gonna punish me, hm? Good luck catching me, Kats."

The phone crackled a few times before you heard him, "Hey! Y'there? Babe!? Goddamn it, this shit ass fuc---" and then you heard nothing.

"K-Kats? Hello? Are you ... are you there? Oh." You tossed the phone on the couch and pouted. "Things were just about to get good, too." You whined to the cat. But you knew they didn't care. They were Kats' anyway. They merely tolerated you until they were hungry and then they were your biggest fan.

A chime rang out into the quiet room and you pounced on it. A text from Katsuki, "Sorry, shit reception here. I'll try to call you from the hotel later. XXX"

It was about 6pm. Too early for bed, too late to go anywhere. So you curled up on the couch and watched your wedding video. You laughed and cried about how stupid you felt for missing him so much. He's only been gone a week and he'll be home tomorrow. Less than 24 hours and you would be together again.

You woke up to the sun forcing its way through the edges of the window coverings. "He's coming home today! He ... is finally coming home today!" A contented sigh heaved its way from your chest as you stood and stretched the uncomfortable position you slept in from your body. And then immediately a wave of nausea washed over you. "The f-," you covered your mouth and ran to the bathroom. Lifting the toilet lid, you took pause and started praying that you wouldn't puke. "Mmm ..." Your eyes roamed to the bathroom cupboard. The nausea faded and soon your body followed your eyes' lead and you started to crawl to open the door and pull out a pregnancy test.

You peed on the plastic receptacle and set the timer you'd bought specially for the bathroom, only to hurry up and wait for the next 3 minutes.

"Oh." You tried so hard not to let yourself get wrapped up in the hope that all of your fun and hard work had finally paid off. But it still hurt. It always hurt. It was a relief though, that Katsuki wasn't here to have to go through this again. He always somehow got more excited than you at the prospect of you becoming parents. 'There's plenty uh’time, ma,' he always says to you whenever the result is another negative.

It would be several hours before he'd be home, so you put yourself together and set out to grocery shop. You decided to stop by your favorite little boutique and look around at the lingerie. Maybe that would help cheer you up and raise moral to romp around with your husband. You laughed at the stupid thought. It was always fun to be with Katsuki.

You managed to knock all of your tasks out in a couple of hours and drove home to get stuff put away. You still wanted to shower, put on the new lingerie you bought and figure out what to do for dinner. Take-out was calling your name tonight.

In the shower, you started to think about how much you loved Katsuki. And a familiar, warm, tingly feeling started to bloom in the pit of your stomach. Unconsciously, you began rubbing your thighs together trying to alleviate the pressure - however pleasant it might be - building there. It was a dangerous game you were playing here. If you rubbed them too much, you know you'd get beyond frustrated and have to take care of this on your own. And there was nothing you wanted more than for him to be the one to alleviate this pent up tension in your body. Seeing as he was the one causing it, it only seemed fair.

Hurrying to finish washing up, you managed to get out of there with only a little bit of lingering agitation. Perhaps agitation was too strong a word. But you missed him so much there was no other word you could think of to replace it.

All wrapped up in a towel, you went to your room and looked over the clothes you had laid out for tonight. The dress you chose was newer, you picked it up a month or so ago, but haven't had the chance to wear it. It’s so new that he hasn't even seen it on you. The lingerie was a strappy black 1 piece and it looked so confusing to you. But you wanted to look nice for him. You knew he would love it for the whole 30 seconds it was on you before he tore it off. Yet you couldn't help but feel a little bit nervous about his homecoming.

It all felt so new to you for some strange reason.

His Jeep pulled into the driveway and your heart all but stopped beating. Your face got hot and you felt like you were going to puke again. "Jesus, calm yourself, y/n. You're married for Christ's sake. Have been for over 2 years. He is your husband. He already loves you." But you didn't believe a word you said to yourself.

You ran to the bedroom to take one last quick glance at your appearance. Smoothing down the dress at your stomach, you noticed it didn't sit quite like it did when you first bought it. You just chalked it up to a little bit of stress eating with Katsuki being gone, and you trying to stay cool about (not) getting pregnant. It just caught up to you. No matter. He's home.

The front door opened and you heard his heavy footsteps. Music to your ears. "Babe? 'M home. Get yer ass ov-", You peeked your head out of the bedroom and gave him a sassy smile. "There you are, fuck, missed you so much. Don't move." He tossed his keys onto the kitchen table and walked toward you like he was hunting you. Like if he moved to quickly you'd get startled and run away from him. Little did he know that it would take a lot more than him running at you to make you even flinch.

"I missed you too, Kats. So much." You whispered as he got closer. He reached out for you and pulled you flush against him, his mouth immediately finding yours. His lips were so soft and warm and he smelled so good. You couldn't resist the urge to kiss him deeper, and you let your tongue brush his bottom lip. He growled and held you tighter.

"Fuck, y’taste so good. Yer gonna kill me. I can't wait for you any longer. All of you. Every part of you." He kissed your cheek and then your ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth and tugging on it with his teeth. You moaned and ground your hips into his. The sensation of his hardness rubbing against you made you ache with need.

"Oh God. Please. I need you so much." Every brush of his fingers against your body left a trail of raised, peach fuzz hairs in their wake. You were panting now, trying to catch your breath from his lips on your skin. He pulled back and looked at you, his eyes shining with love and lust. "I love you so much, babe."

"I love you too, Katsuki." Your voice was breathy and quiet, almost like you were afraid to say it.

He leaned in and kissed you again, this time with more heat and intensity. His hands found their way to your ass and he squeezed, eliciting a whimper from your lips. "Let's go to bed." He grabbed your hand and led you to the bedroom.

You walked in and he pushed you onto the bed. You squealed and giggled as you bounced. He stood over you and started to unbutton his shirt. His abs and pecs were on display for you. You couldn't help but lick your lips at the sight of his muscles moving as he shrugged his shirt off his shoulders. He moved to unbuckle his belt and you got a little nervous. He was so hot and you felt like you couldn't keep up with him. But he always managed to make you feel like the most beautiful woman on earth.

As he took his pants off, you got up and stood in front of him so he could unzip the dress. "You make this dress look so fuckin' beautiful, babe. Goddamn. So sexy. But y'know, 's much as I love this, 'm dying to see what's underne- Hoh fuck. Th- you- fuck that's hot. This new?" He asked as he covered his mouth with his right hand and shook his head slowly.

"You like it?" You blushed hard.

"Do I fuckin' like it. C'mere. Fuckin' c'mere and I'll show you just how much I like it." He pulled you close and kissed your lips, your neck, your chest. You could feel him hard and throbbing against your lower stomach. It was driving you wild.

He turned you around and began to kiss your shoulders. He moved the straps of the lingerie down and bit your skin gently. "Ah! Katsuki, please. Please touch me. I need you."

"Patience. G’na take my time with you. Got about 6 days to make up for, darlin'. Lemme have this. Lemme have you."

He turned you back around and kissed you deeply. He held you close and you could feel the heat radiating from his body. "I am so glad you're home, Kats." You whispered while you pulled him to the bed.

You laid there and let him take over, let him do what he wanted. And what he wanted was to drive you crazy. He kissed every inch of your body, making sure to pay extra attention to your most sensitive parts.

"You work out this week or somethin'?" He asked between kissing your hot skin. He moved down to your belly. "Fuck, you're just so ..." he growled against your skin as he breathed you in. "Your tits look fantastic. You're so ... gah ... I dunno. You're just so soft." He ran his hands over your curves and squeezed your hips.

You pulled his hair and guided him to your core. "Katsuki, need ... need your mouth." He obliged and licked a stripe up your slit, his tongue pressing firmly against your clit and you jumped back. "Hohmygod, Kats! Fuck!!"

"S'sensitive for me," he dove back in and started to suck on your clit, swirling his tongue around it and then flattening it and moving it side to side, "Fumkin' lub et." You felt like you were going to burst. The feeling was overwhelming and you felt yourself get close to the edge faster than you could ever remember.

"Katsu- kugh, ohmygod, I'm gonna ... I'm gonna ..." You grabbed his head and pushed him further into you. He moaned and his hands dug into your thighs as he kept working your swollen cunt.

"Cum for me, baby. Show me how fuckin’ hard y’can cum for me. Lemme see that pretty pussy cum for me." He moved back down and started sucking and licking your clit again, his fingers sliding inside you and hitting that spot you love so much.

Your whole body tensed up and you felt yourself explode all over his fingers and tongue. "Katsuki!!!" You screamed and bucked your hips against his face, chasing your orgasm. You could feel him smiling against your skin as you rode out your pleasure against his face and hands. You didn't know what you were rubbing yourself against but there was no part of you that could stop it from happening.

"G'girl. Fuck, you taste s'good, babe. Kinda diff’rent. More tart. Lemony." He kissed your thigh and then crawled up to kiss you. "Gonna fuck a baby into you now." He smiled down at you, much more sweetly than his intentions actually were and held your legs open so he could slide himself inside you.

"Mmmm, yes ... please, want you … in me." You whined as he started to push himself in. He was big, you were used to it. But tonight you needed a minute or two to adjust to his size. It felt like you were clenching down on him, almost purposely. Making it more difficult for him to push himself entirely inside of you.

"Jesus fuck, you sure you weren't doing some pussy push-ups r'somethin'? You're so tight, babe. Feels so fuckin' good. But … Jesus."

You couldn't control your laughter at him calling kegel exercises 'pussy push-ups'. It was so stupid, but it made you feel warm and loved that he cared enough to notice things like that. "I've been practicing, yeah." You smirked and he leaned in and kissed you again.

"Good. So fuckin' good. Now, g'na fuck you 'til you can't stand it. I'm gonna cum in that hot pussy and make you the sexiest ma on the face of the planet." He growled against your lips as he started to move inside you.

You lost track of time and your body just reacted to him. He was rough and tender. Everything you needed and more. The two of you singing this song of moans in unison sounded better than any of your favorite songs ever had. His grunts and growls filled the room, as he fucked you harder and harder, so too, did your moaning and muttering of how good he felt get louder.

"Kats ... gonna cum again. Pleasepleaseplease ... you gotta cum first! It w- oh god - it works better if you cum first ... I think! Hurry up!" You wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him deeper into you. You could feel your walls tightening and pulsating around his cock and it was the most exquisite feeling.

"Bah, fuck, I'm close babe. Gonna fill you up so good. Fuck, gonna fill you up with my cum." He grabbed your legs and pushed them back so your knees were against your chest and your ankles were at his ears. He held onto the back of your legs and pounded into you with all the strength he had left in him.

"Yesyesyes! Katsuki! Cum in me!" You were on the edge of your orgasm and you couldn't hold it at bay any longer. You felt the hot wetness of his seed filling you up and you let yourself go, your pussy clenched around his cock.

He stayed inside you for a minute or two, panting and kissing your forehead. Droplets of sweat fell from his face to yours. It was disgustingly intimate. You had never felt closer to him. Physically or emotionally.

"I love you." He whispered, his breath warm against your skin.

"I love you." You whispered back.

And with that, he rolled off of you and snuggled up against your back, his hand resting on your stomach. The two of you fell asleep a short time later. Still happily tangled up in one another.

The next morning you awoke to Katsuki gently rolling his cock against your ass. You turned your head as best you could to see him, but when you managed to, you saw that he was still fast asleep. It didn't diminish the arousal that began to creep its way through your body, though.

You rolled over and kissed his face, whispering sweet nothings to him as you tried to wake him. "Kaaats, you wanna go again?" Running your hand down his chest and stomach, stopping about halfway down his happy trail, he opened his eyes slowly and gave you a half smile that looked so sexy on him.

"Mornin' babe. Wha' was I doin'?" He asked, looking down at his erection. "Ah. Was havin' a really ... really good dream 'bout you. Wan' me to show ya what we were doin'?" He flopped onto his back and pulled you on top of him so you were straddling his waist. "Y'so fuckin' wet already. Damn woman. You could put out a fire with that pussy. Hm-hm. Let's start one first though, yeah?" His hands dug into the plush of your hips and pushed/pulled you over him.

Your cunt wrapped so perfectly around him made him let out the most guttural of moans that caused you to clench around nothing. But he felt it and moaned again. It was becoming a vicious little cycle: He'd moan, your body would react, so on and so forth.

He pulled you up, grabbing underneath your ass and lifted you so you were hovering just over his cock. You rolled your head forward to look at him as you slid down, putting just the head inside of you.

"Don't be a fuckin' tease." He growled at you and tried to pull you down, his cock twitching at the denial of the possibility of complete envelopment. "Fucking hell, you're so bratty. Gonna make you pay for this," he laughed.

"Sorry, can't hear you over how good just the head of your cock feels while I'm bouncin' on it." You smirked at him as you wiggled your hips side to side.

He reached up and grabbed your neck, pulling you down to him as he thrust up into you. "I said, don't be a fucking tease," he hissed out through a clenched jaw.

You felt your eyes roll back and your body tense up as he filled you completely. It was almost too much to handle. "Katsu ... ki ... ah, fu-ughh, fuck! Don't stop!" You couldn't hold on anymore. You ground your hips against him as you came, your pussy fluttering and gripping his cock so tightly he couldn't help but follow you over the edge.

All of a sudden, you stopped riding out the last waves of your orgasm. Sitting on top of him still, you put your hand over your mouth and you looked down at him with pure panic in your eyes. "Hmph ..." you shook your head when he asked if you were ok. "Hmphhuh," you gagged again. He helped you off of him and all but dragged your post-o, jellied, naked body to the bathroom and lifted the lid on the toilet for you.

"Y'fuckin' sick'er somethin', babe? Got the flu? What the hell's goin' on?" His brows furrowed and he scowled at you. You knew it was out of concern, not frustration.

You shook your head, trying to compose yourself after something so icky. Hating yourself for doing this right now. Right after such an intimate moment. While he was standing there, staring at you. Puking your guts out. Naked. "Don' knoooohhhh fuck, leave, Kats. Get out! Ple-!"

He squatted down next to you and held your hair back with his right hand and rubbed your back with his left. "'M not fuckin' leavin' you. Not for pukin', not for fuckin' nothin'. Y'fuckin' hear me? Better or worse. Sickness and health and all that other shit. Just shut up and finish. 'L be right here for ya."

The amount of fluid that left your face was disgusting. You'd never had such floodgates open like this before. Puking, crying, snot running from your nose. You were an actual mess. But he stood by you through all of it.

"Hey, babe ... d'ya ... ah shit. D'ya think yer pregnant?" Katsuki asked as you stood from the floor, moving slowly toward the sink to wash your face off. The sparkle in his eyes was undeniable. And it killed you that you had to tell him you weren't.

You leaned over the sink, your face in your hands, and started crying. "I ... oh, Kats. I'm ... I'm not. I took a test a couple of days ago. I didn't w-", his hands on your back silenced you. They were, to date, the most important hands in the world to you. They were strong. They were soft and warm and they are all encompassing. If there were any kind of god, you would live out the rest of your days under his hands.

"Why didn't you tell me? I don't want you carryin’ this all by yourself, y/n. What we don't succeed in doing together, we share the hardships and overcome that ... together. I'm so sorry, babe. I'm sorry I was gone for so long. I shouldn'ta left ya for so long." He spoke to you so quietly. Like his words would be the thing that finally throws you over the edge. The thing that finally breaks you.

"Maybe I ate something." You ran your forearm across your dry lips and hobbled back to the bed to bury yourself in the blankets. "I'm sorry, Kats. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I won't do that again, promise." He walked over to you and sat down on the edge and brushed the hair from your face.

"G'na get you some 7-up 'n a cold washcloth. Be right back, babe." You watched him walk out of the bedroom and turn down the hallway. His butt jiggling ever so slightly. It made you smile. And it made you feel something else.

"The hell ...?" You sat up in bed and realized that you were horny. Again. Katsuki came back a minute later with what he promised you. Something to drink and a cold, wet cloth for you to put on your face. Smiling as he handed you this stuff, you pulled him in close to you and kissed him on the cheek all the way down to his neck.

"Oh, babe. Yer jus' so ... hah. No matter what. Even with your hair matted to your face and your eyes puffy and red. I love you." He leaned over and kissed your forehead.

"Don't say it." You smiled at him. It was almost like you knew what he was going to say. And you couldn't bear to hear it. Not right now. You had no idea where you two stood in that department. You weren't ready to admit that to each other. Not yet. Not right now.

He smiled back and laid down next to you, spooning you from behind. He ran his hand along your waist and stomach, over and over. It was relaxing. And it was a little bit arousing, but you managed to keep yourself at bay. You had just thrown up, after all.

"I'm sorry, Kats. I'm sorry I can't give us the baby we want. I'm sorry I'm so fucking broken." You choked on your words as tears started to well in your eyes. "I'm so sorry."

He shifted behind you and held you tighter. "Babe, you're not broken. 'Sides, who says it ain't me? Maybe we should make a doctors appointment, yeah? Get my count tested and all that shit. Whatcha say?"

You sniffed and wiped your face with the washcloth. It felt good against your hot face. "You - Kats, you'd do that? You'd have your sperm count checked?" Rolling over to face him, you took his face in your hands and held it there while the two of you just stared at each other.

"Fuckin' never said I wouldn't! Course I will. 'F we ever wanna get to the bottom of this, we hafta explore every possibility, right?" He ran a rough finger along your cheek to collect the freshly fallen tears and wipe them on the sheets. You made an ick face at him and he told you to pipe down, they need to be changed anyway after the night you two just had on them.

***

A couple of weeks past and he had his appointment with the fertility specialist where they ran a count on Kats. They called and said his sperm was 'abnormally high and active'. Their exact words were, "We have never seen anything like it in our careers." He didn't shut up about it for 3 days.

This left you in a fog. Surely, you were the reason you two couldn't conceive. It made you feel like absolute shit. No matter what he said to you, it didn't lift the guilt you were trying to carry all on your own. You thought he shouldn't have to hurt when he wasn't the problem. This complex was exhausting you and you could feel yourself slipping deeper into sadness.

You went to the clinic at the end of the day that Friday, the last appointment they had for the week. They drew your blood and told you they would be in touch on Monday or Tuesday about the next step after they had a chance to evaluate the sample for any obvious

It was Saturday morning and you were both sitting on the back porch eating breakfast when your phone rang. "It's the clinic, Kats. You answer. I don't want to talk to them. They probably found a plastic bag where my uterus is supposed to be." You pushed your phone across the little glass tabletop and got up, carrying the dishes into the kitchen to wash them off.

"Yeah babe, on it. Hello? N-no. You're trying to reach Bakugou? Well, shit. Yeah. That's me, I mean ... I'm her husband, Katsuki. Yes! The man with incredible sperm!" He laughed, you cringed. "Wait, what? No, that's not ... I mean ...," his voice got quiet and he got up, walking across the yard to mess with a fence piece.

You watched him out there fiddle with the broken wooden slat and felt your heart breaking into even smaller pieces. "Fuck." You whispered, looking down at the tiny bubbles popping on the soaking dishes. A tear dripped from your chin and landed on your chest, darkening a spot on your gray Dynamight shirt.

Katsuki came walking into the kitchen and came over to you, putting his hands on your shoulders, he turned you to face him. "Hey, ma?" Getting down on his knees, he put his hands on your waist and smooshed his face into your tummy. "Ma?"

"Are you having a fucking stroke or something? What are you doing, dumbass?" You wiped your chin and huffed out a short, insincere laugh. "Kats, what did - what'd they say. Is it me? Am I ..."

"Yes, babe. It's you. It's you … and the little grenade you're carrying. You're ... we're ... having a baby, y/n. You're fuckin' pregnant." He beamed up at you, tears in his wide eyes.

"It's you, babe. You and me. And … and … and a little us in you. We did it, y/n. We're gonna have a family!"

You covered your mouth with your hands and cried. Not just a few tears, but a full-on ugly cry. You were going to be a mom. Katsuki was going to be a dad. And this was just the beginning of your lives as a family.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe in us. I'm sorry I let myself think for a second that it wouldn't be us. Us. Just us. I'm so happy it's us." You bent over and kissed his forehead. He stood and wrapped you in his arms and you both just stood there letting this new beautiful reality sink in.

The future was yours and yours alone … well, and Kats’ and the babies, of course.

Taglist ::: @dreamcastgirl99 @viburnt @arlerts-angel @darkstarlight82

#my hero academia #mha #bnha #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki smut #bakugou smut #mha bakugou #katsudad #dadsuki #katsuki x reader #katsuki x you #katsuki x y/n #bakugo x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader

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marksbear · 1 year

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Hope you're having a good day/night

I was wondering if I could request the BAU Team x Male reader who's also an agent, reader gets kidnapped by the unsub finding a thrill from the thought of breaking an FBI agent, the unsub changes up what he has been doing wanting this to be more "fun" (unsub SA & tortures reader)

Will the team find reader and the unsub? Will the unsub try and kill reader or keep him as a toy? You can choose all injuries I'm okay with anything from broken bones to missing limbs/eye

I was wondering if could get a lil Derek x male reader like they're really close like unrequited love, they like to tease and joke

Hi! I hope your having a good one as well! I took a lot of creative freedom with this one. Proably one of the darkest and longest fic I had wrote in a while tbh

Warnings! Blood, gore, killing, cannibalsim barely mention like gotta squint, breaking bones, punishment, SA, torture, burning, fire, stabbing, victm reader, revenge, reader goes a lil crazy the end. Twisted ending.

BAU X VICTIM MALE READER WHOS AN AGENT

And a lil of Derek Morgan x reader

It was a late night in the BAU. Most agents were tired only surviving on cups of coffee and energy drinks. One agent was bored and tired and even started to learn how to make origami out of sticky notes and paper

Deciding having enough Y/n tossed the origami swan on Reid's desk he had just got done finishing.

Y/n stands up from his desk before announcing.

“Okay i'm heading home guys! See you all later and goodnight!” Y/n says to the team as he makes sure he has everything to go home.

"Drive safe and make sure you grab something to eat on the way." Hotch says more like ordering him to do it. "Night Y/n!" Penelope says waving her friend bye.

"See ya Y/n. Don't miss me too much now!~" Morgan says with a wink as Y/n just rolls his eyes.

Spencer gives Y/n a small wave bye which Y/n smiles and waves bye back.

After gathering all his personal belongings Y/n gives the team one more goodbye wave before leaving the office.

TIMESKIP

Y/n was inside his car tapping his finger to the wheel to the beat of the music in his car. Stopping at the red light Y/n looks around looking at the nearby food places.

Originally Y/n wasn't going to eat anything, but he knew that Hotch would just call him later on and see what he had gotten to eat and would like to see proof.

After the light turned green Y/n drove his car to a fast food place going inside the drive thru.

The line was long and busy, but Y/n didn't mind. Once it was Y/n's turn to order he just ordered his usual and didn't try to make small talk like the worker tried.

Finally once it was Y/n's turn to pay Y/n rolled down his window meeting eyes with a man. The man had a beard with long slick back hair. The man looked like he worked out a ton.

"Late nights am I right." The man says after staring at Y/n's tired figure as he tried to make small talk once more.

"Yeah I guess." Y/n responded back dryly as he opened his wallet to pay.

"I feel ya. What's your job anyway?" The worker says as he reaches his hand out for Y/n's card.

"... Uhm i'm an agent." Y/n huffs out seeing there's no harm in telling him since it's highly unlikely he'll see him again. "A agent?! Like for the FBI?" The man breathes out.

Y/n nods his head yes before handing him card.

"That's so cool! I think about the FBI almost everyday! So it's like a dream come true to meet one in real life." The man says as he scans the card before handing it back to Y/n.

"Are you dating someone or--" The worker drags out watching Y/n's eyebrow raise.

Y/n thinks for a minute before a smirk grows on his lips. "Yeah i'm married." Y/n answers before taking his card back putting it inside his wallet.

"Ohh... Uhm what's their name?"

"Derek..." Y/n answers already thinking to tell Derek about this experince.

"He must be really lucky to be with an FBI agent."

Thankfully the car in front of Y/n moves forward as Y/n looks at the worker giving him a quick thanks before driving forward. The worker stares at Y/n's car for a while before leaving.

TIMESKIP

After getting his food Y/n drives home. The late night car ride was quiet just the way Y/n liked it. Nothing going on in his neighborhood. No parties, no one having loud sex just quiet and simple.

Finally making it home Y/n drives into his drive through parking the car and turning it off.

Y/n picks up the food and his work bags as he leaves the car closing it and locking it before walking to the porch.

Unlocking the front door Y/n goes inside his home.

Y/n puts his bags and stuff down by the front door before walking deeper inside the house going inside the living room turning on the TV and sits down on the couch.

Y/n kicks off his shoes and takes off his suit jacket without even bothering to wear some comfortable clothes.

As Y/n ate and watched TV tiredness became overwhelming to the agent as he began to doze off. Quickly finishing his food Y/n dozes off watching TV.

TIMESKIP

After a while Y/n could hear something opening. It was muffled and quiet. Y/n opened his eyes tiredly looking around. It was still dark outside and his TV was still on.

Hearing the noise becomes louder. It sounded like someone was struggling to get something opened outside.

Soon enough Y/n came to his senses and listened more carefully.

"Why won't this damn door open!"

Y/n heard the whispered shout perfectly. Y/n's body took control as his hand flew to the gun holster on his belt taking out his gun. Y/n thanked god for letting him be too tired to undress.

Y/n quietly moved around his house holding his gun tight. Y/n founded a spot to hide moving inside a shadow in his house that gave him a good view around the house.

Click

"Fuck me..." Y/n thought to himself remembering he left his phone inside the living room.

Listening to the foot steps inside the house Y/n held his breath getting ready to shoot and ask questions later.

"Mr FBI agent~ Where are you?"

From the no response the intruder stomps his foot to the ground getting angry.

"I don't like to be ignored! Where the fuck are you!" He shouts again.

Y/n knew he couldn't keep hiding forever, so he might as well try to fight. Y/n always wanted to die in something cool or at least self defense. Y/n quietly moved from his hiding spot.

Spotting the intruder in his bedroom Y/n aimed the gun at his head. Y/n thought for a minute before stalking up behind the man. Y/n strikes fast hitting the gun against the back of the mans skull.

The man almost fell from the pain and surprise, but nonetheless still stood his ground whipping his body around facing Y/n.

Y/n kicked the man in the stomach making him hunch down before hitting him again using the gun to hit him on the back of the head again taking the man down with ease.

The man lets out a loud groan in pain as he falls to the floor.

Making sure he doesn't think of trying anything Y/n stomped on the man's neck.

Out of nowhere hands grab Y/n's head covering his mouth with a cloth. Y/n tries to fight back even managing a few good hits on the person behind him. Y/n body collapses in the person's arms knocked out.

The person puts the cloth in his pocket before gently putting Y/n down on the bed. The person walks to the man on the floor rolling him onto his back before getting on top him choking him.

"You were supposed to distract him you idiot!" The person shouts as they use all their strength to strangle the person to death.

The man on the ground moves around gasping for air as his hands fly to the persons are trying to pull them off of them.

Squeezing their hands tighter the man on the floors grows limp.

Once the person makes sure the man is completetly dead they moves off of him and walks to Y/n.

The person carries Y/n over his shoulder as he picks up Y/n's gun from the floor leaving the house.

TIMESKIP

"The fuck..." Y/n thinks to himself as he tries to stretch, but sadly couldn't because of something cold and heavy holding his legs down.

Y/n looked around at the walls. The room walls were dark red and the bed was a queen sized one with candles around the room. The room had rose petals around the room some making heart shapes.

Y/n sat up in the bed looking around. Y/n tried to move down on the bed, but the collar chained to the wall behind him stops him.

The room was freezing cold and the candles didn't provide much heat. And it was even worse that Y/n was naked only the bed sheets covering his private part.

The door slowly opens.

The hallway was completely dark. It was hard to see anything in there. You couldn't even see the person who opened the door.

"Oh you're awake! Thank god I thought I killed you. That would be so bad for the both of us."

"God please don't tell me it's that weirdo." Y/n thinks to himself looking at the person walking inside the room.

It was the man from the drive through.

"You lied to me. You are not married." The man says crossing his arms.

"But you were honest about one thing. You are an FBI agent! I mean your Agent L/n I didn't know how I didn't recognize you! You were the agent who took down that famous school shooter. You were all over the news and you even got an award from the major that you turned down." He rants out going to the nearby dresser by the bed getting a newspaper flipping through the pages before showing it.

The newspaper had Y/n's face all over it.

"I can't believe my first victim is a real hero!.... But it still bothers me that you lied to me." The man says while putting the newspaper neatly back inside the dresser.

"We should have some rules." The man says while picking up one of the candles from the dresser. The man climbs onto the bed getting close with Y/n.

"Rule number one. Don't lie to me!" He shouts as he grabs Y/n's free arm burning him with the candle.

Y/n's body went into a fight or flight response closing his hand into a fist punching the man right in his jaw.

The man seemed unfazed to the punch only expression he showed was thrill.

"Rule number two. Don't even think about escaping... I own you Y/n, so don't even get any ideas." He whispers as he moves the candle by Y/n's neck burning him with the flame.

Y/n screams in pain as the fire burns his skin.

"Rule number three. You're not allowed to think let alone talk about someone who isn't me. I'm the only man in your life from now on forward. The only time someone else besides me would talk to you is when your buddies call your phone."

The man moves the candle away taking it to Y/n's inner thigh. Striking it on Y/n's thigh holding it there until the flame is put out.

Y/n screams in pain as he throws his head back. Y/n bit onto his lip trying to contain the noises as he realizes that showing pain will give the man pleasure.

The man throws the candle away as he stares at Y/n.

"Aww poor agent~ Your lip is bleeding. Here let me clean for you." The man takes Y/n jaw harshly yanking his head down. The man greedily licks away before kissing Y/n with all his mouth forcing his tongue inside.

The man's hands moves around Y/n's chest before going down lower and lower until he reaches Y/n's private area.

"I love how you're enjoying this!~" The man teases pulling away from the messy kiss.

As soon as the man pulls away Y/n headbutts him with all his might. The blood rushes out the nose.

"Ohh!~ You like it rough huh? You like it when we beat the living shit out each other your into that?" The man questions as he takes Y/n's private part inside his hand.

"Okay.... I can lean into that."

TIMESKIP

Ever since then it has been a constant torture from the man. The man was breaking the agent slowly.

It's been a full week since Y/n was at work. Y/n's family had told Hotch that Y/n was staying with them because of family problems.

But that couldn't be farther from the truth.

The once romantic beautiful bedroom had became dirty and disgusting. With blood mostly painting the walls. Some of it was Y/n, the unsub and completetly unknown blood c

Y/n was on the floor with one of his arms broke from the torture yesterday. The reason why he gotten punished because he broke rule number three.

Y/n laid on the floor in a puddle of his own tears with dried blood around his naked body staining his skin. Y/n's vision was blurry but he could see the unsub new victims huddle around him.

Even though he was unchained and free he was too weak for anything. His body was bruised and beaten badly as some of his bones had fractures.

Y/n’s more private areas were sticky and dirty. The agent wanted to cry and scream, but he couldn’t let the unsub win that easily.

"Y/n where are you going?"

"Y/n!"

The victims behind him call out, but Y/n just ignores them

Pulling his weak body up he slowly moves onto his feet trembling in pain. Y/n walks towards the door with a bad limp as his body feels overwhelming pain. Reaching for the door knob with his good hand Y/n opens the door as quietly as he can.

Y/n stared into the dark hallway before taking a deep breath walking out the bedroom.

WITH THE BAU

"Theres something up with Y/n."

Morgan announces as he sits down at his chair at the round table. The other agents at the table raise their eyebrows and look at Morgan with confusion.

"I'm guessing hes texting y'all and calling right. Theres something up and I know it." Derek adds crossing his arms.

"Y/n doesn't take pictures like that. He doesn't like styling his hair like that in the pictures. And he most definitely doesn't text dry and boring." Derek says as if he was stating facts.

"Maybe because he's with his family and all. It is scientifically proven that families do have a big interference in someones past, present and future lives." Reid blurts out as he turns to face Derek's worried and anxious face.

"I know, but something has to be wrong. It gotta be." Derek says before looking back at the case files that are currently on the table. "And I don't mean to sound crazy, but I just have this burning feeling." Derek adds.

BACK WITH Y/N

Walking on the cold wood floor felt so new to Y/n. He was so used to that bloody stained carpet in the bedroom he completely forgot what other material feels like.

Going deeper inside the dark hallway Y/n spots a dim light under what seems to be a door. Y/n slowly walked to the source looking under the door one last time before touching the door searching for the knob.

Y/n's fingers graze the cold door knob before opening it. Stepping forward Y/n walks inside the room shutting the door slowly behind him.

Muffled humming could be heard outside the room Y/n was currently inside. Y/n was inside another bedroom. Y/n looked around for a while before leaving searching for the target who is humming.

The unsub stood inside the kitchen cutting up what seems to be a leg turning the meat into tiny pieces before dropping it inside a soup bowl. The unsub snaps his head looking behind him as Y/n hides around the corner holding his mouth tight.

The unsub walks towards Y/n's direction before stopping in the doorway. The unsub stood in the middle of the doorway with Y/n on the wall holding his breath.

The unsub walks inside the bedroom looking around suspiciously. The unsub opens the door to the long dark hallway before walking inside shutting the door behind him before shouting "Y/n! I already told you to keep the noise down!"

Which heavily confused Y/n. But Y/n decided not to think too much of it and hopped over to the door locking it as he muttered a prayer about having a lock on it on the outside. Finally having some time to think Y/n looked around the bedroom in search of his phone or some clothes he could wear.

"Where the fuck is it." Y/n groans as he searches the bedroom.

Having no luck in finding it Y/n looks for some clothes he could wear. After finding some that kinda fitted him Y/n left the room.

Y/n went inside the bathroom looking for any medicine of some sort he can take or use. Finding nothing but empty pill bottles Y/n leave the bathroom before heading to the front door.

Ignoring all the pain inside Y/n's body Y/n opens the heavy door using all his strength. Finally opening it Y/n looks outside his way too freedom as a small smile crawls onto his lips.

But soon that smile slowly fades. Y/n felt empty. He felt that he was missing something that was satisfying. Taking a few steps back Y/n turns around marching towards the kitchen before picking up the very knife he man was just using.

Y/n stared into his own reflection at the bloody knife. In the clean part of the knife showed Y/n's dirty and bloody face, but on the other side of the knife that was stained with blood the reflection showed the unsub staring into the knife.

Lowering the knife Y/n gripped onto it hard as he walked back inside the house walking through it.

Finally reaching the door he had locked the unsub inside Y/n unlocks it slowly, but before he could open it the door swings open with the unsub pouncing on him screaming and shouting.

"How dare you try to outsmart me!"

The unsub presses hard against Y/n's broken arm causing the man to let out a scream. Using the hand that Y/n held the knife with he gave a quick stab in the rib cage causing the unsub to take some weight off the agent.

Taking the opportunity Y/n pushes the unsub off of him quickly crawling on top of him before stabbing him in the chest repeatedly.

Blood splatted everywhere staining the fresh clean clothes Y/n just found with blood.

Slowly growing tired of the stabbing Y/n stood up from the dead body picking up the man and dragging him back inside the long dark hallway. Y/n lays him down on the bed with the other dead bodies around it.

More and more alive agents on the ground screaming and crying in fear looking at Y/n.

"Why are you guys screaming and crying huh!?! I'm the one who had to kill the son of the bitch! He was the bad guy not me!" Y/n screamed at the people at the floor as he waved the knife around.

"I'm the hero of the story! I was the one who outsmarted him okay!" Y/n shouts as he points his knife at them.

"Do you wanna be next! Huh? That's what I thought so shut up!" Y/n shouts one last time before limping away. After Y/n leaves the dark hallway he slams the door shutting it leaving it unlocked for those who want to leave.

Finally feeling satisfied Y/n leaves the house bloody and all.

As Y/n walks through the neibhbord he watches cop cars pull up with their sirens blazing stepping out their cars barging inside the house.

THE END

#derek morgan #derek morgan x male reader #derek morgan x reader #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x male reader #bau x male reader #x male reader #male reader #the bear club

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darknight3904 · 2 months

Text

A preview to the third part to my gojo fic. Sorry, it took so long to get out.

"Hey wanna play a drinking game? We could all name the things we love about Satoru Gojo!" He suggests like he always does when alcohol is on the table

"No!" Everyone groans in unison.

"Thanks, Nanami." You huff as you slam the passenger side door, effectively trapping Gojo in the car

"Are you sure you'll be able to get him in the house by yourself?" Nanami asks, eyeing the drunk sorcerer who has his entire face pressed up against the window

"I'll be okay...I think. Megumi is at the house with Itadori, they're having a sleepover... Not sure why they couldn't just do that at the dorms. Anyway, I'll just have them help out if I need to." You say

"Alright. I'll see you later then. Goodnight." Nanami says

He's as polite as ever as he walks down the sidewalk to his own car. Somehow you swear Nanami came into the world with good manners and matching clothes on. Seriously, how do all of his outfits always look good?

"Who knew he was this heavy?" Itadori laughed as he supported Gojo's legs

"It's all those sweets he eats. He's probably secretly 900lbs or something." You groan, "Megumi are you even supporting your side?"

"Of course I am." He says, "Just walk faster, my arm is cramping"

It's an entire ordeal to get Gojo into the house. Megumi and Yuji help you toss him onto the couch before bidding you goodnight. You have a feeling they're just going to lock themselves in Megumi's room and watch horror movies for hours. But hey, what else would you do on a Friday night at 15?

"Nghhh."

Damn, you were hoping he was out for the night.

"Satoru?" You ask, crouching down to be eye level with him as he lays on his side on the couch

"Nanamin?" He asks

"Nope. Guess again." You smile

"Shoko?" He asks

"Wrong." You laugh

"I give up, tell me." He groans, his eyes remained closed as he lay there.

"It's your girlfriend." You say

"Suguru?"

Now you don't know if you should feel insulted or feel bad for him.

"Whatever. Let's get you out of your clothes and put something more comfortable on." You say, pulling his zip up off and reaching for the t-shirt he had underneath.

"Hey!" He suddenly gasps, shooting up so he's sitting upright

"What's wrong?" You ask, concerned

"I'm taken. Besides you can't just strip me without my consent. I'll call the police." He says, holding his hands across his chest like he was a woman, "No means no."

"Satoru, I'm the one you're dating. Now let's go put our pyjamas on." You say, maybe he could follow you so he could dress himself upstairs

"You want me to follow you after you just tried violating me! What kind of sick pervert are you?!" He asks, his hands remaining over his chest

"The sickest there is." You joke, "By the way you don't have boobs to cover up, stop sitting like that."

"I'm in a vulnerable situation!" He defends

You didn't have the energy to do this and drunk Satoru was driving you nuts,

"Right vulnerable..."You sigh before walking over to the bottom of the steps "Megumi! I need help with him!"

"Can I use a Shikigami this time?" The boy calls back

"Sure!" You say

A half second passes before Megumi and Itadori clamor down the steps to reappear in the living room to take in the "violated" 28-year-old manchild who remained set on remaining modest with his hands on his chest.

"Um...Zenin-san what's he doing?" Itadori asks

"He thinks he's got tits to hide or something." You sigh, too tired and a bit drunk to deal with all this.

"Rabbit escape," Megumi says, and before you know it the living room is filled with little white rabbits.

"Woah, Fushiguro these guys are super cute!" Itadori says, picking one of them up and petting it.

"Right? I was so excited when he showed them to me for the first time." You smile

"Carry him," Megumi says to the rabbits, ignoring the two of you.

The rabbits move in sync and surround Gojo before pushing him off the couch and onto their many backs so they can carry him up the steps.

"It's kind of like he's crowd surfing," Itadori observes

"Ha!" You laugh as you watch Satoru slowly make his way up the steps by rabbit back.

"Should they put him on the bed?" Megumi asked

You think about it for a moment. Drunk Satoru was always cuddly but he often vomited and you didn't want to clean that up.

"Just...leave him on the floor at the foot of our bed." You suggest

"Heh, like a puppy dog." Itadori laughs

The rest of this is out now. Check it out here.

My Masterlist

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deceasedream69 · 2 years

Text

Jealous

Summary: five never pays attention to the fact that you like him, but he doesn't like when a sparrow starts flirting with you.

A/n: you have Wanda's powers xoxo.

______________________________________

During the first fight in the sparrows academy, I barely used my powers. I was a little tired and also didn't thought this guy's were such a threat. Besides, I was enjoying this fight with Marcus. Yeah, he's a sparrow but he's not so bad looking.

- "why are we even fighting?", I said mid fight. Pushing Marcus against a wall.

- "I don't know, but, what can I say?", He said pushing me against the wall. "I'm not complaining", he was really close to my face.

Five teleported between us and pushed him. Then took my arm and teleported us to the second floor.

- "you're welcome"

- "please, I had it under control"

- "get you're hormones under control", he walked away.

- "I could say the same thing to you", I whispered.

*time skip*

- "can I join?", I say sitting up in the back of the car while Allison and Diego were talking.

- "how long have you been there?"

- "the whole time, I needed a place to sleep. You never noticed me?"

- "no..."

- "yeah, let's go, I really need this", said Allison exiting the car.

We got off the car and started to walked towards a bar.

*the next morning*

My head hurted a little. My lip was busted and I had an ugly bruise under my eye, right on my cheekbone.

- "hey, what the hell happened to you?", Asked Luther examining our wounds. "Did the sparrow family attack you by surprise? Are you okay? I swear I'm going to kick their ass if they-"

Five got close to me too, looking at my bruise and lifting a hand to touch it but I back off.

- "it wasn't them", said Diego smirking. "You should've seen how far the guy flew after y/n and Allison threw him through the window"

I turned to look at Allison with a proud face.

- "you just went out to fight random people?", Asked Luther examining Diego's neck.

- "they weren't exactly good", said Allison almost leaving the room, but something stopped her.

- "hey, umbrellas", said ben while he's team posed behind him.

- "what the hell do you want now?", Said five.

- "we're here for Marcus"

- "Marcus?", I said worried. Five turned to look at me a little angry.

- "yeah, you really like him don't you?"

I laughed.

- "what are you talking about?"

- "we saw the way you talk to him, please"

- "even if I do, he's not here"

- "look", said ben getting closer to me. "I see he pulled up a fight", he put his hand on my chin, lifting my face slightly.

- "you wish this was made by a sparrow, but you can't even give us a black eye even if you tried"

They got into their fighting position when someone appeared behind me.

He tried to attack the sparrows but I didn't let him touch them. They ran away after the scene anyway.

My vision was blurry, and my legs were shaking, I didn't have a lot of energy after what happened the night before.

I fell but a pair of arms caught me.

- "hey, are you okay?"

His voice was distorted, I turned to look at him. It was five. We fell to the floor together, he was talking to me but I couldn't quite understand what he was saying.

He cupped my face.

- "hey, y/n, can you hear me. I'm five, hello", he said snapping his fingers in front of my face.

I blinked at his actions and he smiled slightly.

- "yeah... Yeah, I'm fine", I said putting one of my hands on top of his hand on my cheek.

- "good, now, can you stand up?"

- "what happened...?"

- "nothing, let's just, here, let me help you", he said helping me up.

I tossed my arm around him for support, he walked me to were the showers were.

I sat at the edge of the bathtub. He got a clean towel and started to clean my face, it was still dirty from the fight from the night before.

- "why did you even fight those people?"

- "you're eyes are really pretty"

- "that doesn't answer my question"

I sighed.

- "I guess I... I just needed to get all of that out"

- "all of what?"

- "we've been saving the world over and over and over again, and the problems are always there. And it's so frustrating when you like someone who is always there but it doesn't matter if he's always there he'll never realized that-" I suddenly stopped.

- "you were mad because Marcus didn't like you back? He's not even that good looking, I mean, I don't know what your type is but-"

- "god, to be someone really smart sometimes you're really stupid", I said standing up and walking away.

He appeared in front of me. And kissed me.

- "It's not that I didn't realize... I... Well, I spent a lot of time alone without any kind of interaction, and then finding you there, and being with you all that time before traveling back in time... I never thought you could even be capable of liking me after seeing all the things I did for the commission"

I kissed him again.

- "of course I liked you, you're... Badass, and smart, and I can say the same thing to you"

He hugged me tight and I hug him back. Then he quickly let go.

- "just don't tell this to any of my siblings", he said leaving the room, I just laughed.

#number five #five hargreeves #five hargreaves x reader #five hargreeves x you #tua five #tua season 3 #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves imagine #five hargreeves fic #five hargreeves fluff

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weluvsosa · 2 years

Text

𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ~ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎

cw # black coded reader , praise , technically exhibition (it’s in front of a window) , fingering , dirty talk.

"y/nnnn" you gritted your teeth and exhaled deeply from gojo calling your name for what seemed like the thousandth time since he got that. you tired your eyes from the important papers on your desk and looked up at him, eyes dark with annoyance. "come entertain me, i'm bored" he said while tossing a pen up and down in the air, his entire body sprawled out on the black leather couch you had in your office.

"satoru" you sighed. "i already told you not to come in here distracting me and you're doing exactly fucking that" he stopped playing with the pen and looked over at you: you looked so...unorganized. there were papers all over your desk and on the floor, your leg was constantly bouncing up and down and your h/c curls that you woke up extra early to perfect, were now somewhat frizzy and messy, like you just rolled out of bed.

"i don't see why you just don't take a break," he shrugged and you chewed the inside of your lip to keep yourself from cussing him out—even after explaining over and over again all week long about how you had a crucial deadline for the magazine you were working for, he still didn't seem to get it.

you ignored him and finished sorting through the papers, trying to at least put them in order. gojo threw his head back against the couch while groaning loudly. he bounced up with a loud squeak as he sauntered over to your desk with an evil grin on his face.

he stopped in front of you and bent down to your eye level before slapping his hand down on the paper that you were currently writing on. "how about we just..." his words trailed off before his suddenly pushed all the papers on your desk over to the side, causing majority of them to fly all over the floor.

you slammed your hands down on your glass desk and looked up at his, your irritated expression meeting his playful and careless one. "why the fuck" he cut you off with shushes, stepping around your desk and standing in front of the large, glass windows behind you. "you need a stress reliever," he mumbled. "c'mere" you swiveled your chair around and glared at his back.

"i can see fine from here" you shrugged off his request and he turned his head around to look at you, bottom lip poked out with a pout. "please? i won't bother you anymore if you do" you tighter your jaw before pinching the bridge of your nose and huffing, reluctantly standing up and walking to the glass next to him.

"see? isn't this relaxing?" he asked, walking behind you as he wrapped his long arms around your waist. "i guess, satoru i seriously have work to do"

"honestly" he started, "i think your work could wait a minute" his voice was more sultry now as his fingers moved from your waist to your thighs, right before your skirt stopped. "babe" he ignored you. you felt your stomach doing flips when he started to move your skirt up, stopping when it was bunched up around your stomach. "let me play with you for. minute, then you can finish your work" you shivered when you felt his lips brushing against your ear as he spoke.

god you hated how quick this man this man could make your knees weak. he knew exactly what to say and do to have you melt right in his hands.

you felt the warmth of his kisses being littered all over your neck, his cologne flooding through your nostrils as he pressed himself closer on your back.

gojo pulled your underwear down as he glided two fingers over your slit, his other hand trailing back up your body to fondle your breast before pinching your nipple through the thin fabric of your shirt, earning as small whimper to leave from your mouth as he chuckled. he had barely touched you and you were already crumbling before him. "god i love seeing you like this, you're fucking gorgeous" he spoke softly before sinking his fingers past your lips and pressing them on your clit.

you choked. you couldn't stand how this fucking hot man's voice was, your pussy clenched as you felt his breath on your hot skin, feeling like you could almost cum from it alone. "and your pussy's so good for me, fucking drenched and i don't even have to fuck you" he laughed, taking in how you tossed your head back against his shoulder, mouth slightly parted as he rubbed circles on your clit.

"you love this dick right?" you mindlessly nodded your head, it's not like you were lying though. "really?" he asked as if he were genuinely surprised "tell me how much you fucking love it" his brought your clit between his knuckles and pinched it lightly before rubbing his knuckles together, making your body jerk forward against the cold glass.

"god i love it much sato —" you interrupted your own sentence by letting out a broken when he suddenly plunged his fingers into your wet cunt "i-it's so fucking big baby," he mumbled out a low oh yeah? into your skin as he grazed his teeth against it. "yes" you gasped out as his long fingers curled inside of you. "and it's so fucking thick, it always reaches my tummy and i love it so so so much"

he hummed. "you know what i love? i love how fucking tight you are" the pace of his fingers sped up and you found yourself grinding into his hips, a grunt coming from him as kept talking to you. "when i push your legs back and fuck you deeper and you clench so fucking tight around me," your pussy clenched at his words, a smirk forming on his face.

"yeah just like that pretty girl, just makes me wanna cum in you over and over again" you were getting close now, the thrust of gojo's fingers getting sloppier as your slick spilled all over his hand. "oh fuck" you croaked, legs started to shake under you.

"and don't get me started on when it's too much and you start crying, god it makes me so hard, i could fuck that pretty pussy all day" you moved your hand behind you and gripped onto his wrist, your nails digging into his skin "go ahead and cum f'me so you can fuck yourself on this dick pretty girl" your stomach started heaving as you came undone on his fingers, your slick gushing around him as you exhaled deeply, your body shaking a bit as he pulled his fingers from out of you.

you leaned your head up against the glass, catching your breath as you heard him sucking harshly on his fingers. "you did such a good job" gojo grabbed your jaw and turned your head towards him, pulling you in for a sloppy kiss, letting you taste yourself in his tongue. "now for the reward i promised"

#anime smut #jjk drabbles #jjk smut #jjk #jujutsu gojo #gojo smut #gojo x reader #smut drabble #jujutsu kaisen smut #black reader #toji fushiguro #nanami kento

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heartofwritiing · 2 years

Text

Too far

paring: Matt Murdock x fem!reader

summary: you let a very frustrated matt take it all out on you but what happens when he takes things a little too far.

a/n: this just a little something I came up with the other night I was feeling emotional and I'm in such a matt mood recently! (PROBABLY BECAUSE I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR HIM IN SHE-HULK FOR TWO WEEKS NOW. AND I NEED HIM BACK ASAP) I couldn’t choose between another gif and the one below but omg why is he always so sad omfg I want to give this man a hug so bad… hope you guys enjoy this! I just realized this might as well be that other eddie munson fic I wrote but oh well lol.

warning(s): smut 18+ minors dni, dom!matt, sub!reader, kinda dark themes, rough sex, emotional, crying, hurt-comfort, unedited. please please do not read if this stuff is too triggering for you.

(sad puppy boy 😞)

Matt came stumbling through his apartment window around 5am after a night of Daredevil work. You were sound asleep in his bed with your knees pressed together wearing nothing but one of his tees, your hair damp from the shower you took an hour and a half ago, Matt could smell your faint shampoo before he entered the small room.

You bolted up from your light sleep to the sound of the window closing, your hand flew to your heart after you jumped from the sudden noise. Matt spoke an apology under his breath through the dim room as he tugged his mask off, tossing it to the side somewhere and taking off the rest of his suit. You threw the covers aside and frowned noticing the stiffness and tension surrounding his body as you watched him.

“Matt?” you asked cautiously.

He doesn’t answer you right away, his gloves come off and he places them on the bed beside him. “go back to sleep sweetheart,”

You reach over to the bedside lamp turning it on you can make out faintly that Matt’s face is all bruised and cut. you guessed it must’ve been a rough night. It always was.

“Matt, oh my god what happened?” you question.

No doubt you always worried about him when he went out as the devil of hell’s kitchen, helping the helpless and vulnerable people out there who needed it. but with everything that he’s told you about his nightly escapades, a mugger was the least of his worries so this couldn’t have been one that left his face bloody. Matt was too quick to let a low life to even touch him. You remember he had told you about Wilson Fisk and his Russian goons, and how brutal they were but he never went into full detail but you knew they were bad news.

“I’m fine sweetheart,” he reassured.

You weren't convinced for some reason, he sounded irritated and tired. He sat down at the edge of the bed and took off his boots placing them at the end of the bed. You slowly moved to him and sat by his side playing with the hem of his shirt that almost made it to your knees. He senses you close to him so he smiles tightly at the floor. He knows you want to make him feel better but he was just so full of so much adrenaline.

He constantly got this way after patrols and you would always be there for him in any way he needed.

"oh fuck, Matt," you gasp as Matt was roughly pounding into you over and over. Your fists dig into the sheets gripping so tightly your knuckles turn white. Matt hovers above you with his eyes trained on your forehead but they are clouded with lust as he listens to your breathy moans. He can feel how hot your skin is radiating off your body, and he can smell the slick building and building between where you were connected.

He feels around for your hands and interlaces your fingers together to push you further into the bed, his hips snap hard into yours as he leans over you further to deepen his angle so he can hit your g spot. You gasp and choke on a moan as you feel the tip of his cock hit your sensitive spot over and over.

He can feel you getting close by the way you grip around him and it makes his motions falter for a beat.

"You getting close sweetheart?" he asks breathily.

You can't do anything but nod your head and whine as you feel yourself let go and the coil snaps in your belly. Matt doesn't stop and you gasp as he gets harder and rougher.

"Fuck, baby I'm so close," he groans into your neck.

His hands press into you harder to the point where you couldn't feel your hands, you didn't mind pain during sex with matt every now and again but, this was hurting you. You squirmed under Matt and tried to pry your arms but he wouldn't budge.

"Ow," you mumbled. "Matt,"

Matt just moaned into your neck and attached his lips to your skin, he probably thought you were just fine and just enjoying the roughness..

You tried to squirm again but nothing he bit down on your skin a little too hard then and tears sprang into your eyes.

"Matt, stop you're hurting me,"

Matt broke off you instantly and sat back, his breath shakey and uneven as he stared off as you sat up.

"Y/N I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened," Matt says.

You brought your knees up to your sheet-covered body and a tear slipped down your cheek. You weren't scared of him just startled, he knew if he wasn't careful he could make this worse. He has never done this before and for a tiny moment, it did scare you. Something had to of happened tonight to make him act this unhinged. He never told you what goes on when he’s daredevil, but you had a pretty good idea that the things he’s seen and done weren’t always good.

Matt reaches his hand to touch your foot and you move it away from his reach, you didn’t want him touching you just yet. You watch his face shift into distress. He knows you're crying, he can taste the salt in the air from the tears. He hates himself right now.

"Honey?" he reaches for you with a slight plea on his lips and you cave, you didn’t want to avoid him, but he hurt you. You needed a moment.

You slowly uncoiled from the pillows and moved toward him feeling pity fill your heart as you watched Matt break down with his arms wrapping around his body. You pull him to your chest and let him cry. You feel his tears make your naked skin damp as he mumbles apologies over and over. You rub your hands up and down his back soothingly, his sobs moving with your fingers.

"It's okay," you murmur, sniffling as you pull him closer to you. You both needed each other in the moment, you were one another anchor in dark moments and you both just wanted to overcome this. His fingers glide over your arms and feel him physically relax against you as his cries die down.

"I'm sorry,"

"It's okay,"

"It's not, honey I hurt you."

A beat passes between you, and you inhale to hold back a tear.

"I never wanted to hurt you, ever," he says. "So don't say it's fine."

You knew something was on his mind, you could tell it was consuming its way through his brain when he came in the window. You thought him having control over you would make him feel better, but you knew now it wasn't right. You didn't blame him or hate him for this. You knew he was going to do something self-destructive and not accept forgiveness, you knew him too well. It was your job to make sure he knew that this was just an accident. And that you loved him.

For the rest of the night, you held each other in silence. Tomorrow you would ask him, Tomorrow you would know what happened that suddenly made him get so harsh and insensitive for a moment. You didn't want to think of it that way, you couldn't. Matt had been broken for a while, but when you came into his life it all had changed. You made him happy, better, you made him believe he could be the man he wanted to be. He wasn't sure if after this you'd want to be here, or even look at him again. Matt felt so ashamed for what he had done it was tearing him up inside. He had to find some way to make it up to you, as much as he could.

a/n: I felt it would be fun to leave things unresolved but you can imagine it goes in any direction. :)

tagging: @redheadspark @a-lumos-in-the-nox @skywalkersapologist @wacky-nerdchick @countlessimagines @nicolewithanee @starfirette @pandalandalopalis @michel-9 @creedtheconquer @user-jongdae @steve-harringtons-slut @charlie-heatons-whxre

#matt murdock x fem!reader smut #matt murdock #daredevil #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x reader #charlie cox x reader #fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #daredevil x reader #she hulk

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rphelperblog · 2 years

Text

Camille O'connell Quote Rp Meme

- Cami is canonically bisexual just as the lovely actress who portrayed her- Leah Pipes-some quotes are slightly edited for rp purposes. feel free to change pronouns as well

“You are the architect of your own unhappiness.”

“Booze and board games... sounds like heaven.”

“You have lived long enough to never tell a woman that she looks tired.”

“Oh shut up, I am so mad at you that I can hardly speak.”

“Because against every ounce of my better judgement and my sanity and my common sense, turns out I have complicated feelings for a monster.”

“Love will make you strong. It will make you the man that I know you want to be, and you have to remember that because I won’t be here to remind you.”

“It never gets old for you guys. your like a dog with a bone.”

“I came through the front door. You appeared through the window like a creeper.”

“is there anyone not plotting your downfall? I doubt you would trust your own reflection.”

“Excuse me, if I have to drink something to get through the killing.”

“I know why I am here. For someone to hear your side.”

“So be a good little boy and get back into bed.”

“Don’t do that crooked smile thing. i haven’t seen you for months and then you show up..”

“I realized that all my saddness was swallowing me up... and I couldn’t let them.”

“Is she right? Do you see me as some fragil thing to keep behind glass?”

“Bartender with a grad degree in therapy- I know a bit of an oxymoron.”

“somethings not right. I just can’t figure it out.”

“I don’t know who you are, but if you have a problem with me. Let them go.”

“You are such a coward. This isn’t about me.”

“This is my time. You steal it from me.”

“I am beginning to think your sister is a bitch.”

“You are to scared to trust.”

“Has it ever occured to you that I am less interested in fixing your problems than I am at swallowing my own.”

“This is not about you. This is about me. And who I am.”

“You are not annoyed me. you are angry at yourself for getting us into a mess.”

“But today you saved someone who doesn’t mean a thing to you, why?”

“We are called therapists these days. And you could do with some couch time.”

“All of your violence is pointless.”

“what if someday his demons become mine too.”

“Who is this dirt bag eyeing me like a lack of lamb? Old friend?”

“I would step in front of a bus before I let your mother control my body.”

“I really don’t have another tomorrow do I?”

“I wanted to be brave, I wanted to handle this with dignity, but I can’t. I don’t want to go, I’m so scared.”

“I guess that makes me immortal.”

“You won’t kill me while the sun is still out.”

My mom said beer wasn't lady like so I learned to love it as an act of rebellion”

"I need to feel that pain. Without it, I feel broken. Empty. Like there is someone to blame and I'm letting them get away with it"

“No one can control you unless you let them.”

“You don’t get to delete the details that annoy you. If you love something you have to accept the good with the bad.”

"Maybe we just do the best we can and never give up."

“My sanity is not a joke.”

Oh goodie, the mystical knife of ludicrous torment. Glad that's still around."

“Oh than you served your purpose don’t let me hold you up.”

“It sounds like booze.. do we have anymore booze?”

“Some people don’t want to be saved.”

“I always imagined that having a woman’s mouth on my kneck would be a lot more erotic.”

“Look at you repeating the cycles of destructions again.”

“This is my time. You steal it from you.”

“You are a scared little kid convinced he will be tossed aside the second he isn’t needed.”

“Don’t patronize me.”

“He’s charming, sexy, confident, incredibly hot. Let’s be honest, he’s a bad guy just like you.”

“Would a laptop kill you?”

“No one is taking that away from me.”

“No I am just getting started.”

“I don’t think you want to hurt me. See he is the most ruthless man in all of history- and he kind of likes me.”

“I don’t know how but I will undo whatever the hell you have done to me.”

“You know I have a black belt in karate.”

“I think I am a pretty good drunk.”

"I know your heart. You're so much better than this."

Because love will make you strong. It will make you the man I know you want to be. And you're going to have to remember that.. because I won't be here to remind you.”

“whoever is out there, make yourself known or I will gouge out your eyes.”

"Every artist has a story you know. He's angry. Dark. Doesn't feel safe and doesn't know what to do about it. He wishes he can control his demons instead of having his demons control him. He's lost. Alone. Or...maybe he just drank too much tonight. Sorry, overzealous psych major.”

“Oh lovely, than instead of hating you darkness, she will become a monster herself by example.”

“I came here because you need me. You needed me to tell you that this is not you.”

“I know you are hurt, but please listen to me, you are better than this.”

“ Am I supposed to fear you too?”

“There is more to life than the pain that they made you feel.”

“There are good things and you need to see that too.”

“If it not for that, someone else would be standing here.”

We were bonded our whole lives. And I know... know he didn't just snap. And I need to know who did this, and I need to make this right. No, no don't take this away from me."

“I was never naive enough to think that I was your light, but there is light in you. All that anger, the cycle of abuse that your father began, you can end it. You have to, so you can be the light for your little girl. “

“You know, sometimes I ask myself why I let people like him into my life. I have this destructive pattern. I’m always drawn to the bad boys. Maybe deep down, I feel like that’s what I deserve.”

“This is a city of death, fires, floods. To say nothing of the violence we do to each other. We may laissez les bon temps rouler, but really we’ve turned life into one big party to distract ourselves from a single, unavoidable truth: We’re all going to die.”

“I took a beer bottle and smashed it in his face.”

People are not awful. They want to be good. Something makes them bad, makes them snap. There are always signs. Symptoms before someone has a psychotic break.”

It’s an ancient mystical plot that I am using to destroy you.”

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tonberry-yoda · 9 months

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One More Time - Sanji (pt. 3) f!reader

pt.1 | pt.2

notes - Hi cuties! My writing inspo is coming back!!! <3 This was for my most recent poll! I decided to do another part of this because this is actually a fun series to write! Thanks to all who love it too and expect a Law fic soon???? Love you bunches!!! word count - 1,064 tags - @sleepyhead0720

The night went by too slowly for your liking. You were alone in that storage room jumping over the smallest noises, fearing that you were going to get caught.

You lied when you told Sanji that you had been in worse situations. You really hadn't. The Strawhat Pirates were famous and not in the good way. If even one spotted you, you would be dead meat. All of them combined had a bigger bounty than you could ever imagine.

But they were so kind. Why?

They looked like they were genuinely having a good time together, being human and laughing. Not only that, but you had heard from outside sources that wasn't the Navy that they had done so much to help others. Especially the captain. With a smile on his face in every wanted poster.

They were definitely a strange bunch, but they intrigued you; made you jealous. You were a crew bouncer, which meant that a lot of the time, you were just joining crew after crew for a pretty penny. Honestly, you stopped caring about the money and just wanted a home. But none of them felt like it.

But here? With all of these lovely people telling jokes and singing songs? It pissed you off. Why couldn't you live like that?

You definitely couldn't now that you were an enemy to them.

You tossed and turned in your sleep not having a clue what time it was because not only did you not have a watch, but you didn't even have a window that could give you a clue.

You were so tired though.

A sigh escaped your lips and you sat up. Sleep wasn't an option anymore, it seemed.

But you jumped to the roof when you heard the trap door open. Yeah, you were screwed. Too tired to fight and in a bad position with what little of a bounty you had on you.

"y/n?" You recognized Sanji's voice as he whispered your name. "y/n, are you down here?"

You peeked from behind a barrel and smiled. "Hey, Sanji!"

He walked over to you and turned on the light. "Hungry?" he asked as he kneeled down with a plate of food.

"I guess I am." you replied after your stomach gave a growl of hunger.

"We're almost to the island by the way. Sooner than we thought too." He leaned his head against a box as he sat across from you and sighed. "We'll be there in about an hour."

"What time is it?"

"Just past eight."

You hummed in response and kept eating. You weren't even on the boat for a full day, but you already missed his cooking.

"How did you sleep?" he asked, trying to hide that he as slightly blushing.

"I dunno. Probably slept a little bit, but I mostly just remember sitting." you admitted.

"I'm sorry."

You shrugged. "Not your fault. I'm the one who crawled on this boat."

For a moment, it was just silence, but Sanji quickly broke it.

"What are you going to do when you leave?"

"What I always do." You set down your plate and wrapped your blanket around your shoulders to warm yourself up. "Travel until I find somewhere to stay."

"That doesn't sound very fun."

"Eh, I'm used to it. A solo pirate, I guess."

"I wish you could join our crew." he giggled.

"Same." You played with a string that was hanging off of your blanket and sighed out of your nose. "But it's fine. I mean, I had fun while I was here. And had some pretty damn good food, if I do say so myself."

"Is that so?" he teased.

You laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "What about you?" you asked. "What are you gonna do once you get to the island?"

"Whatever the captain orders."

"Sounds confining."

"Surprisingly, not really." Sanji moved himself so that he was sitting next to you and slid his hand in yours, clearing his throat. "Better than being in one place."

"I got you there. Traveling is the best."

"No kidding."

You laid your head on Sanji's shoulder and squeezed his hand. "Have you ever felt alone, Sanji?"

He sighed. "Hell yeah I have."

You nodded and felt yourself drift off into sleep.

---

"Sanji! Get up here!" You heard someone shout from above you as you woke up. "We're here!"

"Coming! Just give me a second! You guys can get a move on without me, I'll catch up!"

You heard the sound of footsteps above you disappear and you rubbed your eyes.

"Looks like we're here, princess. Get you some beauty sleep?"

You turned to see Sanji smile at you and you smiled back.

"I guess so. I'll get out of your hair though. Thanks for covering me up."

"Don't mention it." He stood up and grabbed your hand, helping you up. "Want me to walk you out?"

"If it's not any trouble."

"I would be happy to."

Sanji slid his hand into yours as you two got off of the boat. The island in front of you was warm and very welcoming. Small, but perfect. You knew you were bound to have a couple nights of rest here.

"Well, I have to get some shopping done before me and the rest of the crew head out." Sanji said. "So, uh... this is goodbye?"

You looked at him and he had misty eyes. The wind blew and his blonde hair followed it along with his cigarette smoke.

"Yeah... Bye, Sanji. Thanks for everything." You went to turn away, but couldn't help yourself as you quickly turned around and fell into his arms. You hugged him so tight that his cigarette fell out of his mouth. His hand reached the back of your head while the other found it's way to your back. You hadn't been hugged like this in ages.

When you pulled away from the hug, it felt like something dropped out of you, made you feel empty. Another goodbye, that's all it was.

"So, you and your crew are leaving as soon as you can?" you asked.

"That's the plan." He ran his fingers through his hair and looked up at the clouds.

He felt your lips softly press against his, but when he looked down, you were gone.

If only he could see you. One more time.

~~~~~

one piece masterlist | pinned post | ko-fi

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

#this series is so cute #and i love y/n because she's a badass with feelings #<3 #writing #my writing #fanfic #fanfiction #x reader #op #op x reader #one piece #one piece x reader #sanji #sanji x reader #blackleg sanji #blackleg sanji x reader #black leg sanji #black leg sanji x reader

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karl-raccoon-in-a-teacup · 1 month

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WALKS IN

lemon futon + "can we ever have a quiet weekend??"

(ada chuuya au maybe :eyes: ) kunichuu + "told you it'd work out!"

lousia + nathaniel "why did we even bother?"

naomi + haruno "i got this"

teruko + mushitaro "do you ever stop talking?"

I was literally thinking of Lemon Futon so they get to be above the read more

"Can we ever have a quiet weekend?" Katai groans, curled up in his futon and trying to avoid the very loud gunfire outside. "If you wanted a quiet weekend, you wouldn't have agreed to have me as a roommate now, would you?" Kajii says, laughing as he flops onto the futon, throwing yet another lemon grenade out the window. The loud BOOM shakes the entire space they're in, and Katai pokes his head out to glare at Kajii. "Please tell me you have some hobbies that don't involve explosions, or terrorism." Kajii lets out a contemplative hum, tossing a lemon up and down in his hand. "Well, I wouldn't say no to a night at the opera!"

Agency Chuuya coming right up!

"Told you it'd work out!" Kunikida just... stares. He's sitting on the ground, covered in dust, glasses askew. Chuuya, on the other hand, has a massive grin on his face, despite also being covered in dirt, despite being surrounded by fallen concrete and very injured Port Mafia grunts, and that grin is directed right towards Kunikida. He finally re-adjusts his glasses. "I... I guess by my own definitions, it did." And Chuuya, vibrant, fireball of a man Chuuya, laughs at him.

Louisa and Nathaniel is not a combo I thought of

"Why did we even bother?" Louisa sits staring at the ground, trying not to gag on the smell of smoke, the sound of the flames crackling, the wreckage just in the corner of her eyes. Hawthorne, standing just in front of her, does the opposite, staring directly into the flame. It shines orange on his glasses, ash starting to stain his hair, and his expression... She expected it to be bitter, really. Or sad. Or angry. But it's just tired. And quietly, she finds just enough of her own voice to say, "I don't know."

Naomi + Haruno except I've never written Haruno before

"I got this!" "I'm sure you do, it's just-" Haruno winces, watching as Naomi slides down another rock. "You should be careful!" "It's just some rocks." "Rocks covered in algae and moss-" "But nothing I can't handle!" Naomi says confidently, outright hopping down onto another rock, and Haruno swears she sees her foot slip just a little bit. "Oh," she says, clutching her chest and leaning against the railing. "Your brother is going to kill me."

Ah Teruko and Mushitaro, the two asked to kill the person they cared about most... I think this is the first I've written of them interacting before.

"Do you ever stop talking?" Mushitaro blinks, staring at the young girl sitting cross-legged on the seat opposite of him. "Excuse me?" She rolls her eyes, of course. "All you do is blab blab blab, and frankly? It's annoying. At least gimme some info about the crimes you committed or something!" "I'll have you know the history of the occult is very fascinating, and-" and then her last sentence registers and he stops, staring at her with wide eyes. "Wait- crimes? What- what crimes could you possibly mean?" The girl grins. And he gets the deep, cold sense that he is in very, very deep trouble.

#bsd fanfic #bsd #bungou stray dogs #lemon futon #bsd katai #bsd kajii #bsd chuuya #bsd kunikida #bsd nathaniel #bsd louisa may alcott #bsd naomi #bsd haruno #bsd mushitaro #bsd teruko #agency chuuya au #raccoon writing

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sapphireluminescence · 1 year

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Amatonormative Invective

I'm so tired of love.

Please don't say that there are other kinds of love. I know, okay? I've written an ode to a best friend and an elegy to an interest and called it love both times—I know. But the rest of the world doesn't seem to. Any kind of "love" I might deign to describe will be assumed romantic, and my own arcing terms will be turned against me to hold romance aloft as the all-encompassing, end-all-be-all singular thing to die for. And so, I am tired of love. Spare me the lecture.

But at the same time, this ire is not against the idea of intimacy; I have no quarrel with connection. Romance is not inherent to either, and though it still feels like a betrayal of the sentiment, I do not want to brave the world on my own.

I want to know the quiet of companionship. Not silence—not the frigid abyss of an empty house, where every sound is startling in its foreignness, nor the tightrope tension of tripping over porcelain, reading someone else's anger into the brittle air—just, quiet. Mornings in a light-flooded bedroom, waking up slow and watching someone else blink themselves out of sleep. Inane musings over separate tasks, paper-airplane banter tossed and caught from room to room with ease. Afternoons sprawled on the living room floor, watching sunlight slant through the windows to illuminate their face, eyes molten in the glow. A study of peace, curled up in office chairs listening to rustling pages and the breath of another. Lofty midnight ramblings, hands a flurry of motion and still failing to keep pace with a brain sparking ahead, but content in the knowledge of a mind to match.

I want the warmth of someone else's presence. A partner, I guess, in the purest sense of the word. "A person who shares or is associated with another in some action or endeavor," if the action is living and the endeavor is the building of a future. The promise of an ally. Steady at one shoulder, solid back-to-back. The assurance of a crewmate through storm and smooth sailing alike, over the ceaseless seas of this life.

But the world has agreed that these things are reserved, that they are romantic at their core.

I don't—have never—seen why.

They require trust, and understanding, and dedication, and a thousand other things, but none of them are love.

And I know it's a teenage cliche, to fear a future spent unlovable, but this is not quite that, twists around it and never quite aligns. I would have been happy piecing together an existence with friends, laughter rising through the rafters of a shared house and life, would have found joy, and warmth, and peace. I could have found myself a family—fuck what the world thinks love should be—and settled comfortably into my own skin.

Could have.

Could have, and cannot.

There is no future I can see where my friends stay, where they don't fly from my side like swallows in winter wind. Each disperses after the other, seeking warmer shores, absorbed into insular units of nuclear family to leave me, drifting unmoored and compassless, searching the skies for a sign of their soaring. The thought of a life without them makes me ache to the bone, an endless march of cold mornings in an echoing house. Their absence turns the future bleak and desolate, frost creeping over my brightest dreams.

How could they stay? You've seen what the world says:

My mother tells me to be careful about whom I marry. My father tells me to start a family early. I have expressed nothing but disinterest in either, but the advice persists, because surely it will be relevant one day, because I am young and minds change, because of course I will get married in the end.

I tell someone in a moment of confiding that I don't want kids, not really, would be satisfied with a cat or dog and a space of my own. They say, "Yeah, that's what I thought when I was like, eight."

The sentiment is passed over school tables and internet cables, words not meant to be sharp, but regardless, they find a mark.

"Reasons to stay alive," and a future marriage is at the top, followed directly by starting a family.

"Don't worry," someone consoles. "It's alright to take things slow, you'll find someone!"

"Friends don't cancel other plans" for each other the way lovers do, the song insists.

"True love," someone proclaims, like romance is the only kind that counts.

"I don't want to die alone" equates to needing to get married.

"Friendship doesn't count, doesn't last, isn't enough."

After all, your spouse is supposed to be

"The most important person,"

"Your other half,"

"Soulmate,"

"The one."

Under this barrage, who is meant to resist? Who would think to stray from the concrete course laid before them? When it's held up as the pinnacle and standard, the ultimate goal, who would dare to question?

To leave the expected trajectory—never as simple as stepping sideways, all bitter fury and disillusionment. Half the songs I once loved are tainted now, innuendo and implication mocking from the shadows. It tears cruel thorns through the fabric of this world, seeps through the cracks, into tropes and stories and conversations, desecrating spaces I once called holy.

For those who do not stray, these are words and nothing more, harmless briar in places they need not tread. They have been spared this casual clawing at my heart, and though I cannot begrudge the ones I care for their immunity, I seethe with a soundless envy.

Two roads diverge in a yellow wood—one a barely-there footpath through the trees, unnoticeable from the main route unless you're looking for a way out, mist-shrouded and dense with bramble, the other, a well-trodden trail through open fields that stretch, uninterrupted to where the waving grass meets the horizon. This one leads where I cannot follow, so I have taken the one less traveled by.

I trust that it will get easier. The slope will even out and the path will open up, mist and bristling vines alike will recede. I know this. But for now, this is an aimless trek through unforgiving and unmapped wilds, and the journey before me has never looked so long or so lonely.

#writing #poetry #amatonormativity #carnival of aros #aro #wrote this last year when i was having a crisis about what the future would look like #wrote it over a few months and by the time i was done i'd made peace with some stuff #and so i thought i didn't want to post it until i'd written the sequel to it (which Will exist)#but i'm feeling impulsive tonight and procrastinating finals #soooo #aro poetry #fuck amatonormativity

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thatfreshi · 1 year

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🟢🍋👀? (lime)

AHHH THIS WAS SO FUN. I always forget how much I like writing lime and I get so nervous to do it because I'm scared of like, doing too much. Anyways, you wake up to the aftermath of a New Year's Eve party, during which some unexpected things happened. (For those of you who don't remember, lime is not smut, but it implies sex and has some sexual content still, so you have been warned.)

You woke up to an early morning light coming through a large window, white and almost blinding. It was more comfortable than most mornings. The mattress was practically hugging you, holding you close, begging you not to get up out of bed. You gave in for a while, occasionally looking out the window at the birds and squirrels, trying to get a hold of your thoughts. Last night was exhausting, and your bones felt it, but you couldn’t quite remember why. You shuffled around, tossing and turning in the sheets until you eventually rolled over, your eyes meeting part of the reason you were so tired this morning.

“Fuck.”

The word came out softly as you went to rub your eyes, almost unsure of the sight. No wonder the mattress was so comfortable, it was Mark’s, not yours. You almost banged your head into your hands, but decided any extra movement might wake him, and you wanted to remember everything before you had to talk to him. The night was coming back slowly. Mark threw a small New Year’s Eve party, just a couple friends of his, including you. While most left a little early to go see partners or family, you had nowhere else to go for the night, so you stayed. Midnight turned into 3 am, and eventually sleep deprivation and isolation led to some very unlikely fun in bed.

You never really thought about Mark that way until last night, but damn did it make sense. You were lucky everyone left for the evening, or else the noise would’ve been a little awkward to explain in the morning. Now that it was over, many questions now plagued your mind. Is this a one-time thing? Does this ruin your friendship? What about videos? Are you fuck-buddies now? Maybe it’s more than that? All of these swirling questions were interrupted when Mark stirred on the other side of the bed. He also seemed not fully there, as it was quite early and things lasted a little too long last night. You checked your phone that was previously sitting on the nightstand. It read 7:42 am. Did you both really only sleep for a couple hours?

“Hey.”

His rasp hit your ears suddenly but sweetly, the same rasp that was in your ear all night long.

“Hey.”

The two of you weren’t really sure what else to say. At this point you were sitting at the edge of the bed, trying to find it in your tired body to get up and at least stretch your legs. When you finally got up, you made your way to the window to close the curtains.

“Thanks for the view.”

“I just got rid of the view.”

“Mmmm, not from where I’m sitting.”

You laughed, finally turning to look him in the eyes. For a few moments, the both of you just stare, almost studying each other, your bodies, your eyes.

“You know, I wasn’t planning on-”

He interrupts you.

“I wasn’t either.”

Silence, again. Instead of continuing to stare at his sheet-covered form, you move to the bathroom, washing your face and fixing your hair. You watch as he approaches in the mirror, and a pit forms in your stomach. You turn to look at him.

“Listen, Mark, I had a really great time-”

“I know.”

He smiles, and a light red consumes your face.

“What I’m trying to say is… what is this? I don’t want us confused about what page we’re on, and I definitely don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

“Woah, who said we had to rush into labeling anything?”

“No one, I just don’t want things with you to go sideways.”

“I think you’re overthinking it y/n, but I get it, we should talk about things.”

You move to sit on the counter.

“So, we can go through our thought processes about last night, see where we both stand, and go from there.”

Mark sighs.

“Alright, I guess if you want to be a robot about it.”

He laughs and you glare at him.

“Very funny. Anyways, I honestly don’t even know what came over me last night. Like, I’ve never looked at you in that way.”

“But…”

“But, it was REALLY fun, like honestly I didn’t know you could even do that?”

“What can I say, I’m a man of many talents.”

“And I mean aside from the sex, I don’t know, you’re a fun guy. We’ve always gotten along, we work really well together, and I hadn’t realized it until now but you’re, very good-looking.”

“Well I always thought I was good-looking, so I’m happy you noticed.”

You tried to kick him from the counter, but he was too far.

“Okay, can we get serious now?”

“Okay, okay, fine. Sorry.”

You couldn’t help but smirk at him.

“In all honesty y/n? I’ve always liked you. And I was really happy last night when you stayed for the countdown, and even happier later.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah okay I get it, sex good, I hear ya.”

You both start laughing again, and he steps toward the counter.

“So, what I’m hearing is, we both had a lot of fun, and we’re both interested in each other.”

As he steps toward you, his fingers begin to trail your thigh.

“Mhm.”

His hand makes its way up to your hip.

“So, I guess we don’t have to do a repeat of last night to figure out what we want. Unless…”

Your voice gets caught in your throat for a moment.

“Unless?”

“Unless that’s something you would want.”

He plants a few kisses on your neck.

“We probably should, just to make sure…”

He moves to whisper in your ear.

“Well, in that case, here’s to the new year.”

#markiplier #markiplier x reader #fluff #lime

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legobatman08 · 2 years

Text

Tumblr X Twitter enemies to lovers based off of this post

Part One

This is loosely inspired by the post that threatened twitter users. I can't find it so I apologize if it's inaccurate.

The Tumblr Migration of 2022 = Twitter becoming Tumblr's new asshole roommate

Tumblr rolled their eyes as their roommate rambled on and on about why they were switching dorms.

- Tumblr, you are literally insane! Being your roommate is simply unbearable. I mean, come on, you made my life living hell! I can't stand the sight of you anymore. Goodbye.

- See ya, bitch, go to Eeby Deeby for all I care!

- THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?

- Are you seriously saying that you've never heard of Eeby Deeby? Dude, what is wrong with you?

- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

Tumbr opened their mouth to respond, but they were interrupted.

- YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T EVEN WANNA KNOW. BYE, MOTHERFUCKER! - They shouted as they stormed out of the room.

A small sigh of relief left Tumblr's mouth. Seriously, they were glad that their roommate left. The guy didn't even understand Horse Plinko references, for Christ's sake! Tumblr didn't understand how some people's brains worked. To be quite frank with you, they weren't too eager to find out.

Hopefully their new roommate wouldn't be so bad.

A couple of days had passed after the incident. Tumblr was exhausted. They had just finished writing the most stressful exam of their entire life, and they felt like they were going to pass out. It was as if someone had dropped a hundred car batteries on top of their body.

They put on their headphones and started playing We Didn't Start The Fire on loop to get their mind off of the exam. They couldn't wait to go home.

Upon arrival, just as Tumblr were about to plop down on their bed, they realized that someone was already there.

- 'Sup? Nice to meet you, I'm Twitter.

- Oh, um, - Tumblr eyed their new roommate up and down. Twitter was undeniably very attractive, but they gave off Spoiled Rich Kid vibes, - hi, I guess. I'm Tumblr.

- Dude, you look like shit. Are you alright?

- Geez, thanks for the compliment, - Tumblr winced at the reminder of their current state, - 'm fine, just exam stress and stuff.

They stopped for a minute as their brain finally caught up:

- Wait, what the hell are you doing on my bed?

- I was waiting for ya. Got tired of sitting on your stiff ass chair.

- Excuse me? Get lost before my bees sting the shit out of you.

Twitter laughed as if it was a joke:

- What the hell, mate? Ya think imma just believe your bullshit? What am I, 10?

Tumblr was really getting tired of this. They were already having a bad day, and now this fucker wasn't even taking them seriously:

- You fucking asked for it.

A swarm of bees came through the window at Tumblr's shrill whistle. Twitter looked taken aback. Tumblr couldn't believe the audacity of this dude.

- AH! WHAT THE FUCK? BRO, I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING WITH ME, HELP ME!! AJSJALEJL HELP THEY STING AAAAAAH! - Twitter cried out as they ran out the room, the bees chasing them.

- Be reasonable next time or I'll be tossing your rotten flesh to them! - Tumblr called after them in a sing-song voice.

They were trying their best not to laugh. Sure, it crossed some lines of morals and ethics, but, surely, this level of entertainment oughtn't be criticised!

Tumblr visited Twitter in the ER.

Despite Tumblr's messed up perception of well-being, Twitter looked awful. They had a comically large amount of bee stings dotted all over their body, and Tumblr couldn't help but giggle a little.

Twitter glared at them:

- What's so fucking funny? I didn't expect you to be this much of a psycho. No but seriously, what the actual fuck was that?

Tumblr raised an eyebrow as if the question was utterly ridiculous.

- My Brother in Christ, you were being annoying. I simply offered a reasonable response.

- REASONABLE RESPONSE?

- Yes, and?

Twitter's eyes were as huge as saucers. Tumblr could see a tinge of fear and concern in their expression, but they couldn't figure out why.

- Bro. You can't be serious.

Tumblr just shrugged. Twitter furrowed their brow:

- You need help.

#i'm sorry #tumblr x twitter

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casspurrjoybellbittner · 3 months

Text

Wreckless - The Waterside

*Warning Adult Content*

Emmett

After our walk last night Finnegan crawled into bed with his clothes still on and declared he was too tired to move.

I undressed him and got him into his undies and all of a sudden he was awake enough to need a story.

I didn't mind, I was curious to see what was going on with our Demi-God.

It's now after eight a.m. and he's still asleep.

I was more than happy to find coffee grinds, sugar and some creamer packets in the kitchen this morning.

After I could open my eyes and get them to focus, I left Finnegan a note and took a quick walk, letting my nose lead me.

I ended up at a little bakery and came home with enough food for four.

I ate a croissant sandwich, checked on Finnegan and then blew up the pool toys and tossed them into the pool.

If I'd known we were gonna have our own I would have bought more.

That's okay, they sell that stuff in every other store around.

I grab another cup of coffee and go upstairs, staring out the balcony door.

I was right, you can see the ocean.

"Morning Emmett," he sounds adorable.

"Morning darling, how'd you sleep?"

"So good. I never wanna get up but I'm excited. Hey, come back to bed."

He's got his tongue sticking out the side of his smiling mouth just a little bit and his eyes are sparkling.

I know what he wants but I'm also in the mood to mess with him.

"I'm not tired."

"But... but I want yummies."

Yummies?

I'm pretty sure I know what he means, it's funny that he keeps changing what he calls our morning fun.

"Is that so? I went to the bakery and got you some yummies."

I'm proud of myself for managing to keep a straight face.

He sits up and stretches, pouting.

"Fine. No yummies. Is it pretty out there?"

I'm not sure if he means the view or the weather.

"Gorgeous," works for both.

I suddenly realize that I just got outwitted and lost to a nine year old.

I guess that means no blow job for me although if I went over there I'm sure he'd oblige.

He walks over and stands next to me and I can hear his intake of breath as he looks out the window.

There's no doubt in my mind that his mouth is making a little 'o'.

"The ocean. Can we go to the beach?"

"Of course but you need some breakfast first."

He drops to his knees and this time I don't argue except to make him get up on the bed so I can ravage him as well.

When he gets downstairs he immediately opens the slider and runs out.

"Toys. Did you bring those, Emmett?"

He's outside and he's worried about people hearing him.

"I did. There's more on a chair but they can wait for another day."

Or not, he's walking out barefoot.

The deck is fairly clean but I should sweep it and double check.

I should be watching him or doing that now but I finish warming up his sandwich, drop it on the table and then walk to the door.

He's holding a water gun and shoots it straight at me.

The little rascal.

I shut the door but not before getting a wet stripe the whole way across my stomach.

Oh no, it's on.

I run out while he's reloading and grab the other one.

"You're in trouble now."

He looks straight at me, unloads his gun and runs back inside and I haven't even gotten mine loaded yet.

He knows I won't shoot him inside so he's progressed from a rascal to a little shit.

I put my gun down, put my hands up in surrender and he opens the door.

I will get him back for that.

An hour later we're walking down to the beach and I'm holding his hand.

That's why Rehoboth is the place to be.

I have my bag with our towels, sunscreen and necessities and I can tell that Finn is doing his best to not run.

He surprises me when he says...

"Is it okay if I'm in little head-space?"

"Of course darling. I expected you to be... at least for a lot of it."

"Okay. That's... that's nice of you Emmett. I need it."

He's had a rough two weeks.

"I'm sure you do."

"But I want to do what you need, too."

This again.

This horrible insecurity that he can't seem to get past.

I pull us to the edge of the sidewalk.

"Finnegan. It has killed me to not be able to help you more the past few weeks. I want to take care of you, no I need to take care of you. That's all I want to do on vacation. I want to spend some time with you, ravage you and take care of you. You're easier to take care of when you're little, you know."

He's looking down at what must be a very interesting rock so I let him off the hook and we keep walking.

As soon as we hit the sand he takes his flip flops off, then races down towards the cooler damp sand.

I find us a spot, put our stuff down and then walk out to meet him.

"I've never been in. I saw the Pacific once in Sacramento, went to the pier. I flew over it to Europe but I've never actually touched it."

"Finnegan? Look at me."

He may sound more adult right this second but this is important.

"I know you can swim but you need to listen to me, okay?"

"Okay."

"The tide is going out. It pulls, hard. The sand moves beneath your feet and some of those waves will knock you right over if you're not paying attention. Be careful, okay? Stay with me until you get used to it."

He smiles up at me.

"I'll be careful, I promise."

Good... I can't wait to watch him experience this.

He's done so many things and can do so many things that chances like this are rare. It's going to be an amazing day.

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i-literally-cant-with-this · 4 months

Text

"MOUTH SICK" FREE VERSION I'm pretty sure I got all of it changed out. But if I missed anything, please let me know.

ORIGINAL VERSION

@k-shire Here you go ;)

Potential TW ::: Difficulty conceiving.

C/W ::: Aged up Kats x f.reader, facial fluids being discharged (snot, tears). Oral M->F Quite a bit of P->V. Lovey dovey stuff, sweet moments between 2 people who just want a freakin' baby. Ok? 😭

WC ::: 4,923 +/- (Jesus christ, I'm so sorry. This totally got away from me and I don't even know how.)

"Hey babe, it's me." Katsuki said in his typical growly voice. "I guess you're still at work or somethin'. Anyway, I'll be home tomorrow night. Also, I'been holdin' back. So, be ready for me. I love you, call me if ya want."

Pushing #1 on speed dial, you hear the other line ringing and start praying to whatever gods would listen to you that he'd answer his phone.

"Hey brat. Y'ignorin' me now or some shit like that? The fuck ya think ya are?" You could hear him choke out a laugh. The background noise was almost louder than he was.

The phone crackled a few times before you heard him, "Hey! Y'there? Babe!? Goddamn it, this shit ass fuc---" and then you heard nothing.

A chime rang out into the quiet room and you pounced on it. A text from Katsuki, "Sorry, shit reception here. I'll try to call you from the hotel later. XXX"

You woke up to the sun forcing its way through the edges of the window coverings. "He's coming home today! He ... is finally coming home today!" A contented sigh heaved its way from your chest as you stood and stretched the uncomfortable position you slept in from your body. And then immediately a wave of dizziness washed over you. "The f-," you covered your eyes and stumbled as best you could with limited vision to the bathroom. Turning on the faucet, you splashed cool water on your face . "Mmm ..." Your eyes roamed to the bathroom cupboard. The dizziness faded and soon your body followed your eyes' lead and you bent down to open the door and pull out a pregnancy test.

You peed on the plastic receptacle and set the timer you'd bought specially for the bathroom, only to hurry up and wait for the next 3 minutes.

It all felt so new to you for some strange reason.

His Jeep pulled into the driveway and your heart all but stopped beating. Your face got hot and you felt like you were going to faint again. "Jesus, calm yourself, y/n. You're married for Christ's sake. Have been for over 2 years. He is your husband. He already loves you." But you didn't believe a word you said to yourself.

"I love you too, Katsuki." Your voice was breathy and quiet, almost like you were afraid to say it.

"You like it?" You blushed hard.

He turned you around and began to kiss your shoulders. He moved the straps of the lingerie down and bit your skin gently. "Ah! Katsuki, please. Please touch me. I need you."

"Patience. G’na take my time with you. Got about 6 days to make up for, darlin'. Lemme have this. Lemme have you."

"Katsu- kugh, ohmygod, I'm gonna ... I'm gonna ..." You grabbed his head and pushed him further into you. He moaned and his hands dug into your thighs as he kept working your swollen cunt.

"Jesus fuck, you sure you weren't doing some pussy push-ups r'somethin'? You're so tight, babe. Feels so fuckin' good. But … Jesus."

"I love you." He whispered, his breath warm against your skin.

"I love you." You whispered back.

And with that, he rolled off of you and snuggled up against your back, his hand resting on your stomach. The two of you fell asleep a short time later. Still happily tangled up in one another.

"Sorry, can't hear you over how good just the head of your cock feels while I'm bouncin' on it." You smirked at him as you wiggled your hips side to side.

He reached up and grabbed your neck, pulling you down to him as he thrust up into you. "I said, don't be a fucking tease," he hissed out through a clenched jaw.

All of a sudden, you stopped riding out the last waves of your orgasm. Sitting on top of him still, you put your hand over your forehead and you looked down at him with a vacant look in your eyes. "Umm ..." you shook your head when he asked if you were ok. "Hm-mm." He helped you off of him and all but dragged your post-o, jellied, naked body to the bathroom and sat you on the edge of the bathtub.

"Y'fuckin' sick'er somethin', babe? Got the flu? What the hell's goin' on?" His brows furrowed and he scowled at you. You knew it was out of concern, not frustration.

You shook your head, trying to compose yourself after something so poorly timed. Hating yourself for doing this right now. Right after such an intimate moment. While he was standing there, staring at you, riding out your dizziness. Naked. "Don't know … fuck, So dizzy though.”

He squatted down next to you and held your hair up off the back of your neck with his right hand and fanned your back with his left. "'M not fuckin' leavin' you. Not for fuckin' nothin'. Y'fuckin' hear me? Better or worse. Sickness and health and all that other shit. Just shut up and feel better. 'L be right here for ya."

The amount of tears and snot that left your face was disgusting. You'd never had such floodgates open like this before. Crying like that and the snot running from your nose. You were an actual mess. But he stood by you through all of it.

"Oh, babe. Yer jus' so ... hah. No matter what. Even with your hair matted to your face and your eyes puffy and red. I love you." He leaned over and kissed your forehead.

"I'm sorry, Kats. I'm sorry I can't give us the baby we want. I'm sorry I'm so fucking broken." You choked on your words as tears started to well in your eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"Are you having a fucking stroke or something? What are you doing, dumbass?" You wiped your chin and huffed out a short, insincere laugh. "Kats, what did - what'd they say. Is it me? Am I ..."

"Yes, babe. It's you. It's you … and the little grenade you're carrying. You're ... we're ... having a baby, y/n. You're fuckin' pregnant." He beamed up at you, tears in his wide eyes.

"It's you, babe. You and me. And … and … and a little us in you. We did it, y/n. We're gonna have a family!"

The future was yours and yours alone … well, and Kats’ and the babies, of course.

#my hero academia #mha #bnha #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki x y/n #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #katsuki smut #katsuki x you #dadsuki #katsudad #bakugo x y/n

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medicinemane · 6 months

Text

Me bitching about my mom under the cut

I get real tired of my mom being a child, and for that matter her mom being a child too

My grandpa on my dad's side died last year leaving a bit of money to me and my dad. Like a solidly helpful amount, but... just that sweat spot where it's enough to make me worry I'm gonna lose medicaid but not enough to really for sure fix things (though I think I can leverage it)

My dad's gonna be moving up here, he's gonna be seeing about either getting a job or getting on disability

So that's the set up for this

My mom was upset and worried today and was talking about how like my dad should take over some of the bills so we can stop getting a little grocery money each month from my grandma and because my mom's feeling put upon and cause my mom's been wracking up credit card debt and it's like... for once can shit not be about you and can you be a fucking team player?

There is no "my dad's" money here, there is money that he and I are gonna throw in a pot and see what we can do to use it to get stuff like the windows fixed up with something actually weatherproof, and just try to investigate how best to steward this money into moving towards an actually stable situation

This is just about making shit work, cause in spite of how weird it is, it's almost working it just needs a little push and this might be it... and maybe once things are stable I can find a way to make money myself, and then maybe I can start helping people around me out more like I want to

Meanwhile she spends money having a personal assistant for promoting her writing and it's like... I don't even buy crackers for myself to snack on cause I can't afford it, meanwhile you're blowing money on this shit

Her writing is never going to make the kinds of money it would need to in order to have a meaningful impact on anything, not because it's bad but because it's hard to make money there

So she's just tossing money down the drain on something that's never gonna have a return (I'm sure her PA is great, but that doesn't make it a good use of money)

And like... I don't need it to make money. Her disability payment is enough, I'm not asking for her to boost her income. See she feels guilty about not having a job, but fucking guess what? So do I, and you don't see me self sabotaging to sooth my own ego

What I want out of her is to ever, literally fucking ever, go through her shit and help me get stuff cleaned up. A single box in a month would be a huge win compared to zero boxes over 2 years, you know? And I want her to... not blow money on random shit when we're barely getting by

Like, she was saying to me how even the people who she thought were really doing well in her writer's group are only making like $500 a month and it's like... yeah... it's a really hard field to make money in. Write shit you want to write because you want to write it, and stop losing money trying to make money and maybe help me clean... ever

Then my grandma... my mom feels bad about getting slipped a bit of money for groceries each month and it's like... tough shit

For one thing, my grandma has literally cost me like thousands of dollars over the years by pushing my mom to make dumb ass choices and then I have to pay for it

For another, I can give you an example of my grandma being bad with money from literally yesterday

She bought me this fucking "Izog" or whatever shirt for fucking $50, and it's a cheap piece of plastic shit that she blew the kind of money that could feed me for a week on

I've begged her not to buy me clothes. I've told her I don't need them, I've told her we don't have space for shit (true), I've lied and said my dresser is straight up full. She doesn't care, she's a bored old lady who the only person I ever knew who was as bad with money as she is... was my grandpa, they were a power couple a wasting money, and all she does is watch shit like Dr Phil and then go to marshell's or hobby lobby to buy over priced shit out of boredom

Like she's living the upper class life, meanwhile I've gone hungry my whole life and just... you don't need a fucking sob story or something but like... I think most of us here are not wealthy, and I think you'd probably go fucking feral if you saw how she spends money

Us taking grocery money is the best thing that can be done for that money. Better in my hands than... she literally buys these overpriced pies from safeway, eats them saying "this isn't very good", then buys more of the same brand of pie (they are incredibly bad). Do you see how getting money in my hands is almost a public service?

I don't care how guilty you feel about taking money from your mother, you should feel guiltier about owing your kid... I got bank receipts for $600 in the drawer in front of me, I've lost track of all the more recent stuff she's blown through but like... maybe feel guiltier about how you blow through my $0 income (this is all literally money from the 2020 stimi check) than your spendthrift mom (who I've saved $700 a month by getting rid of your lot rent)

I don't know... I'm just sick of taking care of my mom, and I'm sick that she can't even fucking not listen to shit at max volume, and I'm sick of the fact she can't not make everything about her, and I'm sick of her wracking up debts, and I'm sick of her being like "If I had to live on my own I'd die" and just... fucking give me a gun to blow my brains out so I can get away from her (though she's literally told me if I ever kill myself she'll make it about her too)

I'm tired. I'm probably gonna be able to fix up a lot of things going on in my life so long as the shithead politicians don't totally ruin things. My dad is kind enough to use his inheritance to help me get on my feet now instead of waiting till he dies to hand it over; and while this isn't like a truly life changing amount of money like a million, and it's not even the range that bought me this house, it's a solid stack of money that can get a person a leg up... it's an amount any of you would probably be real fucking grateful to get

I think I can leverage it to cover most stuff and maybe even use it to make it so my stupid worthless lazy ass is actually making some money for once

(And if I'm actually making enough money to cover all my bills then maybe I can finally implement my thirds plan. 1/3 to me for whatever, 1/3 into my house, and 1/3 to help other people with)

I've got mine, I've almost got it solidified enough that I can start trying to move into helping everyone else get theirs but... fucking hell I want to get away from my mom

I don't like... I don't know what I want there. I can't let myself emotionally connect enough to my mom enough to even know. Probably not wishing she'd die or anything, don't know that I'm even wishing for no contact. Just like... not this... not still fucking raising her after all these years

Stop being a baby, stop making it all about you. You're over 50, grow up, stop making your kid take care of you and throwing a tantrum

At least I can talk to my dad enough to say that I straight up would rather he be living nextdoor than in my house. Like I can say that without him taking it as an insult or feeling like he's not welcome, cause he just gets that while I like him he also can drive me nuts and it would be nice if I saw him a couple times a day instead of running into him in the halls... so we can make shit work

(Though I'm not looking forward to having to mediate between the two of them because my dad's a clueless dumbass and my mom's a hyper defensive asshole)

I don't know... I'm just fucking tired. Honestly I just tell myself that I'm trying to get the house in better condition and then maybe do some investing (which I hate cause I consider it rich people gambling... but if it makes me money I'll compromise my morals) to leave behind a passive income for the person I'm gonna leave the house to

...now that also happens to leave me set up to have the house in better condition and hopefully some passive income should I keep being too stupid and lazy to kill myself... but that's how it is

Just fucking wish my mom didn't live in my house, but I'm barely stitching together a working situation as is, barely scraping by using her disability check and even if I was good, that's not enough for her to live off of on her own... and then there's the whole "I'll die if I ever have to live alone again" emotional blackmail bullshit

Come kill me, get a free house and the money that's coming my way. Like there's some hurdles you gotta pass, you gotta make me feel like I'd trust you to look after the friends who've got an invite here if you need it despite being willing to kill me, and you gotta agree to look after them and the cats but... we'll make it very clear it's not your idea, it's mine... I'm the monster pressuring you to do this... come get a free house for the price of a mercy kill

That or I need to fucking stop being a coward and do it myself, fix what a lazy stupid worthless bastard I am

Well, whatever this is, there it is. That's how I feel about shit. I'm tired. I'm also probably totally spoiled and once again fumbling having an easy life... I don't know. I'm pretty worthless shit... I'm fucking starving and... man I hope my mom took me seriously when I said the cat food needs ordering NOW! and that I'd pay for it if I had to, cause they're getting low too

I just don't much care for being alive, and I'm sure I'll sort things out and this will all work out well for me but... I'm fucking tired of being a damn parent to my parents and... just fucking leave me alone and let me rest

#mm tag so i can find things later

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whitherwordswither · 7 months

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Eleven sixteen. Ante meridiem.

I'm starting to believe that I primarily exist in my bed. Which, I guess, is fine. It's comfortable. I did get up a little earlier to lift the curtains on the far window to let some natural light in. The sun is out today and it looks kind of nice. But it's cold, so I will accept admiring it from a respectable distance.

There are a multitude of things I should probably be doing; looking for at least some part time work and taking better care of this aging physical organic form. I'm just too tired. Even though I think I got a decent amount of sleep last night I don't quite feel rested. Probably all the subsequent nights of shoddy sleep that came before it.

I lean back against my forest green pillows, head resting against Rex's pink body. Rex is a large stuffed pink fox, if you were at all curious. Her slightly smaller twin sister, Mizzy, is laying at my right side. They keep me company while I lay here and stare up at the ceiling, letting my eyes slowly travel along the edges of the room. I've got a lot of stuff. Maybe I should get rid of a lot of it; have myself a splendid little autumn decluttering.

Who am I kidding? I don't even know where to start. Everything feels like too much any more. It's all just… too much. Sometimes I wonder how much further I can go before I really start collapsing.

I drew in a breath, then let it out slow as I rested my eyes…

The sharp clang of a bell rang out, piercing through the open windows of the cottage. I immediately looked up from the book I was reading, just about the time Sebestha came in from the garden, wiping his paws with a tattered rag he then tossed on to the kitchen counter. I set the book down on the little table next to the chair I was sat in and hopped to my feet.

"Is that important? It sounds important."

Seb gave a small smile and nodded his head, ears swiveling toward the sound, then toward me when I spoke. "Y-Yeah. That's… that's…. we should… go. Er… we need to go."

Before I knew it, we were moving through the gathering crowd of townsfolk. A few glances were cast in my direction, one gruff looking dingo muttering loud enough for me to hear to his avian friend, "Tch… what's it doing here?"

Seb shot the two a glare, his paw finding my hand and giving it a squeeze. He may've been about to say something but everyone's attention was suddenly drawn to the raised stairs of the temple when Silva emerged from the towering double doors and barked. "Your attention!"

Silence washed over the town like a tide.

The captain of the guard continued, "We've received word from both the City by the Sea and Guttergorge that a new riftspire has formed. Kipsprawl is… has fallen."

Another wave surged through the crowd. Shocked gasps, hushed utterings of unbelief, tentative murmurs. A pair of felines near the front began to wail and sob, stifled cries of having family in the lost town. A lone gryphon near the back shouted: "Are we in danger?"

Silva held up a paw to keep everyone's attention. "The riftspire doesn't currently appear to be mobile. For the moment we're not in any immediate danger, but I will be enacting Watchtower protocol. If there are any volunteers, speak with Gris. I'd like to send out parties as soon as possible to the towers along the Border Ridge."

I looked around the crowd, studying faces. There was a tension in the air and worry etched across the features of many creatures. Seb's paw tightened around my hand and I felt myself squeezing in return as my gaze drifted back to Silva, whose expression was hard, a careful mask hiding her own concern as her tail twitched anxiously from side to side.

"Both City by the Sea and Guttergorge have received evacuees from Kipsprawl. If you had kith or kin there, please… I… I know it's painful. But please be patient. They have advised they will send additional correspondence once they have names." Silva closed her eyes for a flash and let out a breath. She recovered quickly, but I could see from where we were the way she gripped the handle of the blade she had sheathed at her hip.

"Shit…" Sebestha huffed out, his ears folded back. "Sil has a sister in Kipsprawl…"

"Those of you on the defense roster, we will be holding a meeting at the station within the hour. That's all." Her eyes sought us in the crowd. Well, they sought Seb, in any case. She gave him the barest of nods, which he returned. The crowd began to buzz with talk and grief and uncertainty then as it slowly started to break apart. Some wandering back to their homes in a daze, others staring blankly up at the temple as if it could possibly provide more information.

"Come on… we should prepare." Sebestha tugged on my arm and I turned, following silently, in my own daze as we moved in the direction of the cottage.

His paw never left my hand until we were in eyesight of the front door. I had so many questions boiling in my brain. The fox immediately began pulling things from the hall closet, rummaging through drawers. He brought out a pack and started to set what looked like emergency provisions out on the kitchen table. I stood there, blinking. Watching. Unsure. I felt small and unprepared for whatever this was. Anxiety pulsed its way through my body and I folded my arms, trying to keep from shivering.

I finally found my voice after managing to compile enough words together in my mind. "What… what's a riftspire?" I croaked out. That seemed to be enough to put myself in some sort of motion. I stepped toward the table and surveyed what Seb was gathering. "What all do you need to gather and how can I help?"

Sebestha didn't pause, just kept going back and forth from one spot to the next, then depositing things on to the table in what I thought were organized little piles. "A riftspire is… well… we… we don't really know what they are, exactly. We only know what… what they do…" He did manage to stop, paws wringing over the back of a chair. His eyes settled on mine. "They just show up… at random. Sometimes in uninhabited places, sometimes…" He let out a breath, shaking his head. "Whatever they are, they're… not like us… they're like these… wraiths that… absorb their fill and depart…"

I hadn't seen him worried like this before. I wanted to wrap my arms around him. But I stood still. "Ok. Wraith-like things with a morally questionable appetite. Got it." He gave me a look that said he didn't appreciate any light being made of the situation. I gave a sheepish smile and rolled my shoulders that indicated I couldn't help myself. And I couldn't. Humor was a coping mechanism for uncertain situations. "So…" I motioned to the table. "Tell me what you're doing. And tell me what I can do to help." I repeated, looking from the table to the fox. I didn't like how there was only one pack.

"I'm going… to take watch at one of the ridge towers…" He said, then quickly shuffled off down the hall to the bedroom like he was afraid of what I might have been going to say next. He returned shortly with a sleeping bag and long olive colored coat. He stood next to the chair again, draping the coat over the back, staring at the floor for a spell before grabbing the pack and setting it in the chair, fiddling with opening all the little pouches and drawstrings. "And… and I want you… to stay here."

Ah. That's what he was hesitant about wanting to say. "Sooooo. There's a big scary spear of darkness in the sky that may or may not come this way. And you want to go keep watch in a tower in the wilderness aaaaand… leave me here. Alone?" I raised a brow.

Seb frowned at me, snorting. "Yes. I want you here. Safe."

"I think I'd feel a whole helluva lot safer with you." I pointed at his pack. "Where's a second bag?"

He shook his head. "No. No, I want you… here. Please."

I was starting to panic and I think he could sense that because he closed the small distance between us and took me in his arms, hugging me to his chest, nuzzling over the top of my head. "I would feel better… knowing you were here. If the riftspire is… not moving… it will be safer. The closer… the more dangerous it…"

My hands pushed at his chest, struggling to lean back so I could look up at him. "So it's just fine and dandy for you to go put yourself closer to a probable shitstorm? That's not fair. I don't want to be…"

He stared down at me, his features shifting. It was almost like looking up at a completely different animal. "No." He repeated. "You don't know how to fight them, if worse comes to worse. Your grasp of magic is unpredictable at best. There are too many risks. As long as you remain here, I know you'll be safe. Do not argue this."

Sebestha stepped back then and began stuffing the items he'd assembled on the table in to the pack in a very precise this-belongs-in-this-pouch, and that-belongs-in-that-pouch kind of manner. I stared at him, arms folding at my chest again. I didn't appreciate what he had said. The tone he had used. The look in his eyes. Regardless of the fact that… he was absolutely correct. What good was I? I came from a world of mundanities where all-devouring wraith creatures were fiction. That didn't mean I had to like it.

"I'm scared." I finally squeaked out in a whisper, almost having to force it past trembling lips.

"Scared, yes. But safe." The fox replied, pulling the heavy coat on. And then he was holding me again, though I kept my arms crossed. "Hopefully it will only be a few days. We rotate in shifts. I'll return before you know it."

I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want him to see the tears that were burning at the corners of my eyes. He was the only thing that kept me tethered and put together and he was leaving me here. Putting himself in danger. It was selfish of me. It was one hundred percent absolutely childish. This was his world and he knew how it worked and how to work through it. With it. I knew… next to nothing, despite my best efforts to learn everything I could.

Those tears spilled down my cheek as he gently lifted my head and pressed his mouth to mine in a warm, lingering kiss. I shuddered then and leaned in to him, my arms finally moving to curl up his sides, fingers digging in to his back. When he finally pulled back he offered a smile, then leaned in against and rubbed his cheek against mine. His whiskers and warm breath tickling my ear. "I promise… I will be back. You won't be… alone for long. Please…" He stood, paw under my chin, making me meet his eyes. "Try… and be strong for me." And then he stepped back, his paws squeezing over my shoulders. That coldness broken by a genuine smile, full of all the affection he could muster. "I love you."

And then he was gone. And I was alone. So I did what any self respecting individual who hadn't a clue in the universe as to what was really going on did. I let my legs give out and sat on the floor, leaning against a leg of the table and cried. I cried because I really really really did not want to be there by myself. Because the thought of an entire town being inexplicably removed from the alive-and-thriving equation was suddenly a very real and terrifying thing. Because I didn't have to be miserable here, I could make myself happy. I was whole heartedly allowing myself to hurt myself for no good reason. And because… I didn't get to tell him that I loved him too.

I sniffled. Wiped my eyes. And made myself get up off the floor. Fine. If Option A wasn't a viable course of action, what was? I stumbled blankly through the cottage and closed doors, drawers and put the things he didn't take back where I thought they ought to be. I tidied up the kitchen. I swept. I made sure the inside plants were watered. Then I took my own long coat from the closet and shrugged it on and stepped outside. The sun was just beginning to tumble down from its apex as it unhurriedly conversed with the as-yet-to-be-seen moon, starting negotiations for their daily trade off.

If it was too dangerous to help Sebestha keep watch at the towers, then there had to be something I could help with in the town itself. Silva would know what I could do. There had to be something. I couldn't sit inside and worry. I couldn't pass the time by reading or anything else. My brain wouldn't let me. Besides, this was my community now too. I couldn't hide behind Sebestha forever.

I needed to help.

…

One twenty-eight. Post meridiem.

I stretch and grumble, pulling Mizzy in to a hug as I roll on to my side. I keep my eyes shut, just… existing in this space of moments. Then I kiss the top of her head and roll the opposite direction. I make myself get out of bed and I take my water bottle. I make myself leave the cozy confines of my bedroom and head downstairs to refill it. I make myself move, even if just a bit…

#writeblr #writing community #creative writing #queer writers #original fiction #anthro #fantasy world #immersive daydreaming

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