#alfred looks so fucking rad
Text
sometimes i think abt dkos and be disappointed, such pretty art but the story sucks ass imo....maybe if i reread it itll be better idk :/
#lik oh fuck this is so cool#'bruce wayne is hal krypton' man..#what happened to him being some fucking guy#i like him regular#john conctantine looks cute tho so theres that#i dont call him cute ever thats like the first time#*constantine#damn#and the part where kal and brice fight is kinda weird to me idk why like whats the point#did i miss something#im starting to think that im reading this for the art rather than the plot#harley quinn looks hot theres also that#the robins are fucking cool#alfred looks so fucking rad#the outfits in that comic is so delicious i want them irl#character designs are fucking cool..story? ..meh...#cy’s mindless chatter
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
breaking down the members of the batfam:
bruce wayne (emotionally repressed autistic dad/tired but loving/"i'd die for you. ask me to die for you.")
alfred pennyworth (beloved grandfather and backbone of the house/"cool you were in the circus too alfie?" "a different type of circus master richard"/the most flexible on the whole no killing rule thing)
dick grayson (embarrassing "stay silly" older brother/eldest child/self-titled "bruce's little angel")
barbara gordon (adopted bruce more than he adopted her/this family would not survive without her it support/only one who knows how to work the router)
jason todd (the try hard wanna be cool accidentally cool but not in the way he meant brother)
tim drake (gifted child syndrome overachiever middle-child-and-mentally-ill-about-it bisexual nerd)
damian wayne (asshole baby man with a heart of absolute gold and a closet full of swords/tiny and feral/why does he have so many swords??)
stephanie brown (the goldilocks of the family/showed up one day and refused to leave/heartbreaker/know-nothing know-it-all, "get your feet of the furniture, stephanie")
cassandra cain (the darling daughter/autistic queen/"cuddled nicely" and "bit my ass" rolled into one/don't look directly at her too long or you'll fall in love)
duke thomas ("finally someone normal around here"/"oh no he's just as bad"/the day shift/probably does way too many light related puns)
selina kyle ("hot milfs in your area"/bruce's lover on the down low that literally everyone knows about/enamored by his autistic swagger/not married to bruce but would take the kids in the event of divorce)
kate kane (fucking rad lesbian wine aunt/kicker of ass, spoiler of nephews and nieces)
harper row ("alfred where did this punk child come from?"/"SHE'S GOTTA GUN"/best music taste out of any of them/once turned a lawn mower into a drag car/it was awesome)
lucius fox (other grandpa/ twead wearing dad/"bruce you need to pay your taxes"/"bruce getting shot point blank in the back is not advisable"/"bruce the hague tends to frown on child soldiers")
lucas fox (conceivably he should be smarter than getting mixed up in all this/still got mixed up in all this/"don't you think batwings a little too...on the nose?" "says the guy that calls himself batman")
helena bertinelli (cranky cousin that is beloved by a few and feared by all/"why doesn't her boyfriend have a face?"/"SHE'S GOTTA CROSSBOW!")
harley quinn (bisexual vodka aunt that's really just bruce's friend from college/has invited herself over for every hanukkah ever since finding out bruce is jewish too)
#batfam#batman#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#dick grayson#barbara gordon#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#duke thomas#selina kyle#kate kane#harper row#lucius fox#lucas fox#helena bertinelli#harley quinn#dc comics#swift-tricker's posts
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
random req but please indulge me
Most-least likely to own a motorcycle and what type, brothers + side characters 🤨
OOO don't mind if I do!
They are ranked 1 (most likely) to 14 (least likely)!
1. Mammon - Crotch Rocket
Okay this one is pretty obvious. He likes goin’ fast, and he has a sports car, so he’s gotta have the bike to match. He rides it frequently, often times going on joy rides with whoever else will join him- which is usually Beelzebub or Lucifer. Mammon loves riding with Mc the most though- it gives him an excuse to have them hold onto him for dear life, and you better hold on tight because jesus he drives like a maniac.
2. Thirteen - Dirt Bike
At first I was thinking Thirteen would have a Nic Cage ‘Ghost Rider’ type motorcycle, but then I thought harder about it and that doesn’t seem like her style. She definitely seems like someone who would be into dirt-biking and doing tricks on a bike, and it also allows her some creative trap ideas! She would definitely try to ride this through the halls of RAD too, I just know it.
3. Lucifer - Cruiser (classic)
Classic man, classic bike. Lucifer probably enjoys riding with some regularity, often taking scenic trips with Diavolo or Mammon. He also enjoys it when Mc sits on the back, clutching his chest as they take in the sights on the road. He’s definitely not a reckless driver, but if you ask him to with your biggest puppy eyes, he may drive a little faster just to get that adrenalin pumping. Oh, and you bet your ass this baby is loud as shit.
4. Beelzebub - Crotch Rocket
Like Mammon, I feel like Beel would have a need for speed, but he also just likes the ability to get to places quickly. It’s easy for him to just whip around the corner to the store or to a restaurant when he’s got his bike, that way he avoids raiding the fridge. He also likes taking Mc for rides on the back, but he’s much more careful than Mammon. He would also definitely teach Mc how to drive it if they wanted to learn!
5. Diavolo - Touring Bike
You will never convince me Diavolo isn’t just a big ol’ dad. And like the dad he is, he needs a bike that will match the aesthetic. Most of the boys (and Thirteen) probably don’t care about brand loyalty (except for maybe Mammon, because hey, he can make a buck or two out of modeling with his Honda CBR), but Diavolo is DEFINITELY a Harley man. I can see him owning a customized Red leather jacket with the logo and everything.
6. Solomon - Chopper (vintage)
Look me in the eyes and tell me that Solomon doesn’t embody a grandpa aesthetic. Look at that fucking bolo tie. Seriously? He HAS to have a chopper. And because he seems like a man with very particular taste, I am absolutely certain he would have a vintage restored bike. I can imagine Solomon owning a few different choppers, each from various eras that he enjoyed- namely the 70s and 80s.
7. Barbatos - Crotch Rocket (futuristic style)
Alright so Barbie owning a bike may be a hit or a miss- depending on how you view him. I think he probably would have one, but he only really rides it when he has something very important to attend to or needs to send a warning (and I mean- the man can just use portals but I feel like if he wants to reaffirm that he is a badass mother fucker who shouldn’t be messed with, he’d pull out the bike). He would have a more futuristic batman-style bike, in my opinion- and no, it’s not because I see him as a younger Alfred...(or maybe I do a little).
8. Satan - Vespa (vintage)
So at first I was going to include this one as a joke, but the more I thought about it, the more I think it fits. I feel like Satan- like Solomon- is a vintage man, and has a strong appreciation for 50s and 60s era cars and bikes. However, I feel like he’s bitter that Lucifer rides a motorcycle too and doesn’t want to be seen in the same light. So to fit with his more docile, scholar aesthetic, I think he would definitely own a Vespa. And I mean, laugh all you want, but I doubt any demons are going to be making fun of the incarnate of wrath when he’s mowing them down with the damn thing.
9. Belphegor - Motocross Bike
I definitely think Belphie has a bike, but he rarely (if ever) rides it. Mostly because I can see him getting it just because Beel has a bike too, but he’s too lazy to actually learn how to drive it correctly so he ends up biffing a bunch. The only times I can see him breaking this bad boy out is if he needs to get somewhere quickly, or if he and his brothers are taking a trip to the beach and he can blast through sand hills with it. He would also probably try to ride it through the hallways at RAD at least once just to see how Lucifer would react.
10. Asmo - Crotch Rocket
Alright- hear me out. Asmo definitely does not know how the fuck to ride this thing, but he got it for the AMAZING photoshoots he can do with it and upload to Devilgram. Seriously? It would be just like him to do something like that. I’m sure once Mc arrives he begs them to learn to ride it though, because seriously seeing someone on a bike is so hot, can’t you see he’s melting just thinking about riding on the back with you?
11. Raphael - Doesn't own one but thinks they're neat!
Raphael I can imagine sees someone on any type of motorcycle and thinks it looks fun, but he doesn’t own one himself. Maybe some day, but it may take some convincing of Michael if he actually is going to buy one.
12. Simeon - Doesn't own one and is indifferent toward them.
I feel like Simeon would see the appeal of the excitement, but overall isn’t that interested in owning a motorcycle. I feel like the closest he’d get is a scooter or Vespa, but even then I am not so sure. It is pretty funny picturing Satan and Simeon having Vespa races thought, so maybe there’s a chance!
13. Levi - Doesn't own one and is terrified of them
Levi is more of a racing game type of guy, so you would think he’d be into motorcycles and such...but he is way too much of a baby for it, I think. Nothing against him! Motorcycles give me hella anxiety too, so I get it.
14. Mephistopheles - Doesn't own one and thinks he's "too good" for motorcycles
Hey, seriously. Prissy horse girl over here probably thinks that Motorcycles are rip off horses. I also definitely think the only reason Diavolo has one is because Lucifer was into motorcycles first, so that’s just another thing his ex-boyfriend and his new side piece have in common.
#headcanons#obey me headcanons#obm headcanons#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#shall we date: Obey me#Obey Me!#Obey me#Obey me swd#obm#obey me satan#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me asmodeus#obey me diavolo#obey me simeon#obey me solomon#obey me barbatos#obey me mephistopheles#obey me thirteen#obey me raphael#obey me crack
196 notes
·
View notes
Note
Heyooo :) can you do headcannons for a platonic yandere allies ?? Am aroace so that's the kind that floats my boat, also do you ever feel tired of writing ?? Like .. ur so productive, it's awsome but like .. I hope ur doing it cuz u have energy not cuz you have followers waiting 😬 take care Plz ❤❤🥺
For the anon that asked that yandere reader ask, thx u inspired this ask ur idea is rad :3
(A/N:) ahh thank you for the worry anon, but it’s no problem really!💞 I wouldn’t be making as much content if I wasn’t having any fun, since it’ll probably end up feeling more like chore...and I hate doing chores 😭
That one protective friend that makes sure to check up on you every second (but it’s turned up to the extreme and downright becomes unhealthy in some cases)™
It was ironic to him. Out everyone that he had gotten to know over all these years— hell, perhaps even Arthur; you were the only one he felt like understood him the most. Not many seemed to notice what was going on beneath the surface of his facade, which was why he appreciated you being there. You still liked him despite the many flaws that he had, and tried your best being with him even if it became downright tiring. Alfred would be heavily dependent on you because of this, often going to you to cheer him up— or before he was going to make a rash choice.
So it was only natural that he couldn’t see himself being without you.
You were like a best friend to him; Alfred would even go as far as to say that he felt a familial connection between the two of you. So the deep desire to protect you was normal, wasn’t it? Even when he felt himself worrying for your well-being at even the slightest approach of a stranger, it was just his instinct telling him that there was something wrong. It wasn’t anything unhealthy. Thus, would usually drag you away from anyone that he found to be suspicious; even those he was already familiar with. This would probably result in a lot of arguments, with him trying to say what was ‘best for you’ and with you denying that you needed this much...protection. You swore that it almost felt like he was just isolating you from the others, to have you purely depend on him for whatever reason you couldn’t make up.
Alfred can’t handle being apart from you— nonetheless the idea of you being angry with him, or even hating him . It truly didn’t matter if the reason was rather ridiculous or not, the idea of you hating him just...made his stomach churn uncomfortably. You were his best buddy, and basically one of the only ones he could trust with his inner worries; and the risk of it all being taken away from him because of a silly, childish mistake was all it took to send the poor boy into a state of panic. Please don’t leave him, he’d do anything to keep you there with him. Begging, gifting— you name it.
Arthur didn’t completely seem to realize his feelings at first, confusing it with romantic attraction for a little while— before quickly seeming to realize that it was all purely platonic. He did feel a bit protective of you, maybe even possessive...but it had nothing to do with romance, nor lust. It was just him wanting to have someone beside him, someone that he could call a friend. And someone that would never leave his side.
It won’t be hard to notice how...bad his communication skills were; with him often saying things that he didn’t really mean and slightly setting you off. Arthur is stubborn, so it may take some time (and slight teasing at how much he hesitated) for him to actually apologize. You’ll probably get used to it after a while, since he’s one big tsundere.
Saying this out loud was an absolute no-no for this man— but you being around Arthur was often enough to make him the slightest bit happier. It felt a bit lonely at times, especially with less and less people being around him these past few years. So having you as a friend almost felt like a breath of fresh air.
He’s very critical of those you choose to be around with, often analyzing even the smallest of things so he can determine if they’re actually worth being around you. Which more often than not ends up... not being the case. Arthur will tell you to stay away from them; saying that they were suspicious, and probably had something bad in mind. He’ll resort to isolating you if you were to disobey him, trying to take as much of your attention— and perhaps even kidnapping you if the extreme were to happen. You were his one and only best friend, and he had to make sure you were safe. Always.
Totally the big brother type...well, he usually proclaims himself as being one, so it isn’t that much of a surprise.
Francis will make sure to absolutely pamper you with his attention; hanging out with you, sending letters whenever he was too busy...and simply sending gifts from France. He simply couldn’t let you go off feeling unloved!
He adores talking about you; usually going off on a mindless ramble whenever someone even mentions your name, like a proud father showing off his child. Others will usually compare him to one due to how much he adores talking about you— or simply the way that he treats you. Which would quickly be disregarded with a: “oh, I’m no father! They’re just such a nice little friend to have around, who wouldn’t want to praise such a delicate person?”
On a second note....he actually did feel like a father figure to you. Huh.
Francis will often suggest helping you out with your love life, perhaps even gushing over cute guys together that you found on a random dating app— before quickly realizing that he didn’t really want this. Those silly moments were fun and all, but having you talk with someone that could just be out to use you made him a bit angry...and paranoid, mainly the latter. He will make sure that anyone that even so much dares to get close you first gets his approval first. The feeling of a broken heart was all too familiar to him, and he didn’t want you to experience such a thing.
This may result in him checking up on you...an awful lot, making sure that those around you were only the best of the best and wouldn’t end up being bad influence to you. Yes, he truly was like a father.
A sibling-like person in his life that he didn’t feel insecure against and acknowledged him as his own person? Fuck yes!!
Jokes aside— Matthew really does care deeply for you. Perhaps it was due to the Canadian barely having those that he could...truly call close friends, so having you around almost felt like a blessing. Unlike Francis, he won’t really show you off or talk about you much, especially around his brother. The American had already stolen enough from him, so why would he let something like that happen again?
He’s extremely wary of anyone that even so much tries to make a move on you. It’s just...you were someone that he held extremely dear; and having you potentially getting hurt due to some lowlife that managed to slip into your life would absolutely break his heart. Matthew didn’t want to fail in protecting you, he would never forgive himself if something like that were to happen.
Losing you is something that he wishes to avoid completely. He’ll even go as far as kidnapping you if it came down to it, Matthew just couldn’t see himself living happily without you by his side.
Yao likes cute things...and you’re a cute friend, so it’s a perfect match!
But seriously, he thinks that you’re absolutely adorable. Whether it be because of your personality— or your appearance, it really doesn’t end up mattering in the end. You’re his cute little friend, and that’s all that matters!
He’ll often treat you with more, yet gentler care than most of the others around him. He knew that you were well capable of taking care of yourself; but he just couldn’t help but see you as something fragile, something that he had to protect. So you can already imagine how frustrated he gets when someone treats you with even the slightest bit of disrespect— Yao will often confront them immediately, while you awkwardly have to sit back and watch it all. Almost feeling pity for the person that had to endure your friend’s seemingly never-ending complaints.
Oh, he probably doesn’t quite realize how he comes off as a father at times; seeing how much he’ll scold you for the smallest mistakes (while making sure to correct you of course!) and how he usually made decisions for you, making it hard to refuse his gestures due to his pushy nature. But it’ll probably become a normal thing for the two of you as time progresses, since it’s just...how Yao was, you assumed.
His controlling behavior will also reflect on how he treats your personal life. Yao is very selective of who he lets you be around with, so he’ll often look at your acquaintances and friends with a very critical eye, immediately expressing his distaste in them if they were even to do the smallest thing wrong. “Such a brute isn’t worth being around, (y/n).” Yao will warn you to stay away from them, but won’t bring it up any further if you decide to do what he says. If you don’t then...well, he had special friends to help him out with his dirtier work.
Yao might consider kidnapping you if this behavior keeps on repeating, but won’t feel compelled to actually do it unless something bad were to happen.
Ivan will always try his best to be there for you! While it most likely won’t quite work with him being a rather busy person; a country, nonetheless, but he’ll do his upmost best. It was extremely hard for Ivan to make friends that...weren’t scared of him or secretly disliked him, so having you was such a relief!
Being his only friend, he’ll make sure to be absolutely devoted to you— perhaps in a way that wasn’t too healthy in a friendship, and would often be looked down upon by those looking at your relationship from an outsider’s perspective. But could one truly blame him? Ever since he was born it felt like everyone around him were either toying with him, or were utterly terrified of the boy expect for his two sisters. It was lonely...so it isn’t hard to imagine how overjoyed he was once having you in his life; someone that didn’t display the usual fright whenever he approached them, nor did you look like you were out to hurt him.
Ivan appreciated you a lot.
It wasn’t hard to imagine that you’d most likely become the target of a few other countries, your connection with Ivan wasn’t extremely hidden from the outside world... (from how much he’d senselessly mutter things about you when daydreaming, and the many times he stuck by your side) and so, others would take it to their advantage. Those like Alfred will probably try convince you to leave Ivan’s side, spewing terrifying stories of the man to try and stir up something inside of you so you could leave him. It was mainly for your own safety, yes. But it was also to make the Russian weaker. It was obvious that he was depending on you heavily, and losing you would...god forbid if that would ever happen. Ivan would completely lose himself, perhaps even snapping completely.
So don’t hesitate to tell Ivan if someone was bothering you! Ivan will make sure to get rid of the little parasite from your life in an instant, giving them a short warning whenever the two come across each other...and making sure that he got his point across! It’s better to ignore their sudden disappearance after that day, since someone like them wasn’t worth lingering in your mind.
#help me why do I always write america this dramatically#dilf France? 😲#CANADAS PART IS SO SHORT IM SORRYYYY#yandere#Yandere hetalia#hetalia x reader#Yandere allies#Yandere aph america#Yandere aph france#Yandere aph england#Yandere aph canada#Yandere aph China#yandere aph Russia#platonic yandere#platonic Yandere hetalia
255 notes
·
View notes
Note
give me opinions on the ultimate BLOODBORNE PROBLEMATIC FAVES ( the Crow and Alfred bc i think you already did laurence fifigk )
Ok then! I guess you mean the Bloody Crow of Cainhurst and not Eileen, please correct me if I am wrong though.
Alfred... hmmm... he really looks like this game’s Solaire at first, until you find out that he is kind of a maniac. I can’t blame him though, the church is so sexy, of course he wants to be a part of it ^^ I like how polite and friendly he is, that feels real and it hits extra hard when you see his true colours, though he only did give Cainhurst its well meaned punishment, who can blame him? Can you tell that Laurence influences me again, right? xD
Ok, but for real, I like Alfred. He is cute, I like his voice, I like his arc, I like how much it shows that Bloodborne is a place with fucked up people.
As for the Bloody Crow, we know nothing about them, so we pretty much have to make shit up. I headanon that the whole Cainhurst massacre has been like 40 years ago, so the Crow was a child back then and got picked up and trained by Eileen, picking up the armour and practices of what they remembered from their time back at Cainhurst. I like to think that the Vilebloods stay young because vampires, so even though they are like 40 or so, they look like 20.
I also think that the Bloody Crow of Cainhurst is not really a person, but a title. It will be given to the new Bloody Crow once in a while. Since Cainhurst is kinda dead, the Crow from the game is the last of that line.
What I like most about the Crow? Aesthetic. Cainhurst aesthetic is so RAD. I haven’t actually fought them, but heard they are like the hardest mini boss in the game...
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
SO MY FRIEND @strxberryking AND I WROTE A FIC AND IT WAS REALLT TERRIBLY HORRIBLY DIFFICULT TO WRITE BC WE COULDNT STOP LAUGHING AND YEAH. READ AND APPRECIATE IT
DISCLAIMER; We don’t actually play them like this don’t take it seriously.
It was a sunny day in lego city, and all was going well for the Dane. It was a rather calm day for the firemen, even though it was only 8 am, but shut up or you’ll get trampled by a clown. Anyways, Mathiass had been chillin, ya know, vibing with his bros Gilbitch and Albread, eating Danishes and not doing work. That was what they did for living, theyd occasionally save people but like that’s lame, so yeah. No.
But then all of a sudden the alarm rang! Oh no! A man had fallen into the river down in downtown lego city! Mathiass jumped up out of his seat, throwing his Danish off to the side on Albread, and screeching at the top of his lungs.
”A man has fallen into the river down in downtown lego city!” he announced, “But don’t worry! We’re firefighters! Well save him!”
Lubewig, who was off to the side pouting cuz Gilbitch told him he wasn’t awesome enough to be a firefighter, mumbled, “Didn't they just say that though?”
Gilbitch threw his Danish at Lubewig. “Shut up! This is an emergency, Lubewig! God! You’re not even a firefighter! Youre just a stinky EMT!”
Lubewig started crying which wasn’t that difficult to get him to do, but he started sobbing when Albread punched him in the face and yelled, “Get out of here with your stinky ass!”
”Yeah! God! You’re the worst little brother ever! Jeez! Go take a shower, Lubewig!” Gilbert kicked Lubewig in the side and then the rest of the firefighters threw their Danishes at him.
This is getting out of hand.
So Mathiass stood on a table and yelled “Guys! I know Lubewig is a loser, and disgrace! But a man has fallen into the river down in downtown lego city! We can bully Lubewig later!”
Lubewig opened his mouth to speak but Mathiass yelled “Shut the fuck up Lubewig!”
Lubewig started sobbing again and Mathiass looked back at everyone else. “Now we have to assemble the new lego rescue helicopter OTHERWISE HE’LL DROWND.”
Albread gasped and almost fainted. “Oh no! Not drownd!” he exclaimed, his eyes red with shock.
”Yes, Albread, he will drownd,” Mathiass said solemnly, and all the firefighters got sad.
”Now isn’t the time to be sad,” Albread told everyone, “Now is the time to assemble the new lego rescue helicopter. Come on!”
And so, the trio and the rest of the firefighters trampled Lubewig to go build the new lego rescue helicopter.
But when they reached the new lego rescue helicopter…
It was in pieces!
”What the hell happened!?” Mathiass asked, “Albread! Why is it in pieces?!”
”I don’t know!” Albread exclaimed! “I didn’t know what assemble means!”
”You dunbasses, assemble means break,” Gilbitch told them, “But it’s already broken! so we must have to build it!”
Mathiass ran over and grabbed a piece, throwing it at Albread. “Get moving! Otherwise the man who has fallen in the lego city river will drownd!”
And Albread almost fainted again.
So after five minutes of perilous work, the new lego city rescue helicopter was built.
Mathiass wiped away his tears and whispered seductively, “It’s beautiful.”
And with that, they all jumped in, Gilbitch calling shotgun.
The engine roared to life and soon they had taken off. Mathiass at the wheel, they accelerated and were soon zooming through the town, towards the man who had fallen in the downtown lego city River.
”That's him!” Albread exclaimed, and grabbed the wheel, “Go! I’ll get us closer!”
”No,” Mathiass told Albread, “I’ll do it. This is my turn. You did it last time.”
”Shut the fuck up,” Gil whined, “I haven’t done it in FOREVER.”
”It's my turn!” Mathiass squeaked, and with that, he reached up again and grabbed the wheel with his feet, and he threw his upper body out of the helicopter, holding on tightly with his feet so he wouldn’t fall.
The man in the lego city river screamed as he saw Mathiass, and he reached up to grab at Mathiass, trying his hardest not to miss.
He missed.
Mathiass screamed and turned the wheel with his feet, reaching out once more to grab at the man.
And this time, he didn’t miss.
He pulled the man up into the helicopter and they zoomed off towards the shore(?) the helicopter loud and Gilbitch laughing even louder.
When they landed, all 53 of the firefighters got out of the helicopter, and then the man. Gasping for breath, the man hugged the ground, coughing up a fish and hugging the ground.
”Thank you so much!” he exclaimed, looking up at Mathiass, who shrugged his shoulders bashfully.
”It's no problem,” he told him, “All in a days work for a firefighter.”
The lego man stood and kissed Mathiass, hugging him tightly and proceeding to marry Mathiass.
”This is so rad!” Gil exclaimed, grabbing Albread and hugging him tightly, before the two went off to kick the shit out of Lubewig.
The teacher turned the lights back on as the video ended, and the room was silent, other than Alfred and Gilbert clapping like they had just seen the best mime in the world. Mathias sat there looking extremely proud of himself. It was obvious that nobody wanted to be friends with him anymore after this trainwreck. Gilbert stood up and turned around (He’s at the front of the class because he has a hard time paying attention and the teacher needs to keep an eye on him) “So! How did you guys like my awesome animation work, huh?”
Ludwig shook his head in disappointment. “Prußen, that was shit.” He said with a blank expression. Gilbert deflated and flopped into his chair. He angy.
”This is why we beat you up in the story you mega piece of shit....” Gilbert muttered to himself, though Ludwig heard that, he just rolled his eyes. How had his brother been accepted into this college, he hardly passed highschool art? Ludwig was kerfuffled. He loved his brother and all, but damn. That was hell on his eyes. It felt like an LSD trip. COUGHs, not like Ludwig has ever, you know, tried LSD. Laughs. Nope. Totally wasn’t Feliciano’s idea.
Mathias put his hands on his hips as he huffed. “You’re all lame! That was great! I did all of the sound effects all on my own!” From the corner of the room you could hear Lukas mutter, “Yeah I could fuckin’ tell..” Mathias spun around and stuck his tongue out.
Feliciano raised his hand and Alfred pointed a finger at him with a big smile. “W’as poppin’ bro?” He asked enthusiastically.
Feliciano smiled nervously and put his hand down. “I just have one question.” He said. Alfred and Mathias nodded, Gilbert just kept pouting in his seat. “Well... What in the seven rings of Hell did I just watch?”
#hetalia#sobs#aph denmark#aph prussia#aph america#aph germany#Lubewig Beilshit#Gilbitch Beilshit#Mathiass#Albread#angst#terrifying#horror#lego#lego man#lego city#lego meme#meme#new lego rescue helicopter#a man#a man has fallen#a man has fallen down into the downtown lego city river#river#downtown#wow#phenomenal#pls appreciate#aph shut up#anime memes#anime
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
hey alfred got any tattoos?
Yeah, I do! I usually keep ‘em covered up while at work, but I’ve got a few! [He proceeds to throw his shirt across the room]
So I’ve got this turkey here on my bicep, since Kitty calls me Pavo and I thought it’d be cute. I have plans to add a rabbit and cat, but I haven’t found a design I really like yet. Also I’d like for the three of us to get the same design, you know? Cait’s kind of iffy about tattoos, so I might just add the rabbit and ask Bunny if she wants to match.
Anyway, on the other side is this silhouette of the F4U Corsair. I flew her back in ‘44 and she was my favorite. Beautiful blue color, with some extra stars painted on because that was rad as hell.
Here on my right forearm I’ve got the first few characters of 2 Chronicles 7:14 written in Hebrew. I think I got this sometime around 1948? Israel told me that this was that verse, and I don’t think he would lie to me... probably. I’m not going to ask anyone to translate it just in case it says “fuck bucket” or something.
Something that I can read is Latin, which I have here across my shoulders. “E Pluribus Unum - Out of Many, One.” It’s my motto. I got this one in ‘69 while I was back in the States between stints in Vietnam. It’s got a little eagle under it that flaps its wings when I flex. Check it. [He proceeds to demonstrate. It... might look like an eagle flying. Maybe. If you squint. Best not to tell him.]
Yeah, so that’s all of them right now. I’m considering getting more, but I prefer to put a lot of thought into them. Well, [he gestures toward the Hebrew tat] most of them.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
The OG Batkids, a sleep deprived summary (a thread):
i hope you enjoy this i have poured out all my heart and soul and love for these damn kids i love so much especially Tim
Dick aka Nightwing aka what the FUck, RICHard: the OG batkid, grew up as a circus acrobat with his parents til they were murdered mid-routine, yay trauma. Bruce is at this circus that night and he looks at Alfred and Alfred looks back like don't u dare don't u--goddamnit u dumbass ugh. fine. i guess we're gonna have a kid in the manor again. damn. all right fine. So Dickie boy goes home with Bruce, is loved, becomes Robin, kicks ass, grows up more, leads the Teen Titans, is like "i'm too OLD for Robin I gotta go my OWN WAY DAD" and becomes Nightwing, continues leading the Titans. Absolute ray of sunshine, also very serious when necessary, smart and insanely skilled physically, FANTASTIC older brother material down the road once he gets over the shock of having more younger siblings. The Glue That Holds This Family Together So Help Me God You Will All Get Along Or I'll Cry And Make You All Die Of Guilt Including Bruce. Becomes an Actual Police Officer/Detective, while being Nightwing and also occasionally taking up Batman's mantle when Batman needs him to or is uhhhhh "dead". Basically Damian's second parent tbh bc the kid imprinted on him like a baby bird hahahaha get it, Robin? Baby bird? I'll show myself out
Jason Todd, aka holy questionable judgement Batman the kid tried to maim you!!! but also now you have a rad new child so whatever I guess: ANGRY BIG HEARTED BOY!!!!! Kid has like three separate retconned backgrounds but the general fandom agreed upon one is that his dad is in jail, momma is a drug addict, then dies, and Jason hits the streets. This little shit decides hey, sweet hubcaps on this Batmobile here, i'm just finna take that oh shit. Batman's back. what do i do hmm HIT HIM WITH THE NUT TOOL YEAH BUDDY!!!! oh snap batman can hold me up with one arm and he wants...to feed me??? Long story short, Jason becomes Kid #2, Robin #2, is THRILLED AS HELL. Such a wild little nerd. Loves books and school, kicks ass, and then Oh No the Joker takes him, tortures him, and then Jason dies from beating injuries and a warehouse explosion. Holy shit. BUT NEVER FEAR!!!! He wakes up in his coffin months later!!! Buried! crawls up through the earth, exists in a zombie ih state on the streets for a bit, gets taken by Talia and the League of Assassins, dumped in a Lazarus Pit, goes back to Gotham and is SUPER PISSED for reasons i will get into, tries to kill some Robins and fights with bruce, murders people, slowly rehabs, starts building his life back up, is rad although much more violent than before. Good Egg at heart. Learning to slowly be a big bro and like, exist again. Good Friend to tight group of people. V good fighter. V soft literature nerd deep down. #letRedHoodgotogradschool2k19
Cass aka Cassandra aka not-so-secretly the one Bruce is prone to playing favorites with lol: Cass. My Love. She was deprived of speech and physical contact as a kid, baby of assassins, and her dad raised her. Totally abused and tortured her as part of assassin training, like "two for flinching" but with bullets and such. Rip. She doesn't like that, wants love, also has INSANE skills to like rival Batman's own. Bruce takes one look at this kid and is like. Oh hell. Oh no. This has gotta be fixed. Welcome to my new daughter, Alfred get a room ready, this one deserves love, and so she operates semi-independently as Black Bat and for a short stint as Batgirl, and kicks ass, and Bruce brings her into a Real Family, she's able to learn speech and stuff but still deals with brain trauma structurally from all the delays and neglect, she's AMAZING and cool and everyone loves Cass. Can read body language better than, like, anyone, would likely beat Batman 1v1 no joke. Quiet, reserved, absolute cinnamon roll, loves bonding and love. Cares A Lot. Will Take Down Armies If Necessary. V dear to Bruce's heart. Her mom like, killed her once, too, it's a long story, whatever, turned out fine in the end and she's free of the bad guys and living her best life that she can with what she's got (also, her dad made her assassinate a business man as a kid, she was like. i don't have language yet but holy shit. i'm feeling things that don't line up with this. this feels bad and wrong. no. and she ran away at like? AGE 8 OR SMTHN and wasn't seen again for years until she rescues commissioner gordon and is like sup batman and he's like you're gonna be my new kid now you're so cool. i love my murder children)
Tim, aka Little Stalker Timmy, aka sleep deprived little genius, aka “All My Friends Are Dead” in person form, aka absentee parent poster child, holy neglect batman: Ok ok so after Jason dies Bruce is like slipping hardcore. He's angry. He's grieving. He's self destructing in an alarming spiral, and it's up to like Baby Teenager tim drake to save him!!!!! According to tim, anyway. Tim is a genius. Tim is a rich kid who lives next door to Bruce. Tim was in the audience too when Dick's parents died, and this little hooligan is obsessed with Batman and Robin, and sees Dick to a quad flip and is like holy moly me oh my the only one who can do that is Dick Grayson HE'S ROBIN BRUCE IS BATMAN OH GOLLY and this little dumbass spends years as a kid (possibly) tailing Batman and Robin through Gotham taking photos at night and (absolutely) learning forensics and martial arts and stuff. What a STUPID little genius.
Anyway, he's like okay Robin 2 is dead bc Jason died. that explains why Robin vanished and Batman is off his rocker. Clearly, I have to fix this, bc I talked with Dick and he isn't gonna be Robin again and Batman Needs A Robin. So he ROLLS INTO THE BATCAVE, and is like "so bruce--hi, i'm tim, stop screaming, it's fine--batman, whatever, you need a robin. and i'm it." and bruce is like fuck. what the Fuck. who is this shrimp of a small human how does he know me the last thing i need is ANY CHILD what. and he's like "no, tiny child," and tim is like "cute, but I wasn't asking" and bullies his way into the most grueling training saga Bruce ever put anyone through. Kid just doesn't quit. Anyway, Batman finally accepts him as Robin, blah blah blah trauma blah blah mother dies blah blah father is murdered, whoops, and what do you know, Tim--DOESN'T get adopted?? nope. he makes up a fake uncle, pays a man off to pretend, lives by himself in the city, stuff happens, bruce is like you're a dumbass, tim is like yeah u right, BAM tim is a wayne!!!! Welcome home buddy Alfred and Bruce missed you!!! super good and close with Cass, they lived together for a while. Anyway. Tim loses like half the people he loves, then Bruce "dies", except tim is like HE AIN'T DEAD and no one believes him and Dick takes Robin away from him and gives it to lil D, and Tim goes on this crazzzy round the world quest to save Bruce, and is forced to work with Ras, who is freakishly interested in Tim and also hundreds of years old and undead and in charge of the League full of assassins, and Tim loses his spleen, and gets beat up a lot, blah blah blah eventually he gets Bruce back, also gets nearly murdered by both Jason and Damian at least once or twice, but now things are pretty ok. Has been large part of Teen Titans and Young Justice during periods of his life. Acts as CEO of Wayne Enterprises while Bruce is gone, is awesome, gets fake shot in the spine to throw journalists off his scent. Kid is a mini-bruce in terms of strategy, amazing. Literally always sleep deprived, running on coffee, Actual Disaster Child, so smart but so dumb. Takes up Red Robin mantle and comes into his own. you know that "all my friends are dead" book? that's Tim! but like, in the cool relatable teenager way? where everyone's dead but you have cool hoodies and are always tired and like snarking at bad guys every 2 seconds.
and then we have DAMIAN, Biological Baby, Heir to the Throne of Gondor or whatever, the one true Wayne by blood, who is the Demon Murder Child who is getting better, bless him: Damian is the child of Bruce and Talia, long story short, heir to both the al Ghul empire of assassins and all that jazz AND the Wayne line. Bruce didn't know about him for YEARS while his mother had him constantly training (read: EXTREMELY abusive training, poor Damian) to be a great assassin leader to rival or surpass even Batman. Kid got grown in an artificial womb bc Ras and Talia were like Bat Wayne. Bruce man. HE is the optimal genetic combo with Talia to carry on the al Ghul line and tradition. Yes. Anyway, pre-teen Damian gets dropped with Bruce (long story short) who is like what. the FUCK. I have a KID?! and Damian is like YOU'RE ALL FUCKIN PRETENDERS AND DON'T DESERVE TO BE IN MY FATHER'S PRESENCE, ESPECIALLY YOU, DRAKE, WHO IS ROBIN RN, STAB STAB. Poor Tim. Anyway, Damian is a KICKASS fighter, and has been rehabbed to a great extent by his family so far. Very arrogant and stuff still, and still talks much more formally than most people, but he's more of a kid now, and has compassion and empathy in his own way, plays video games sometimes now, and oh my GOSH this kid LOVES ANIMALS. Like he's slowly assembling a zoo at wayne manor and Bruce is like how do we keep getting all these pets. Damian I gave you a dog and Damian's like we are WELL past that and the whole family is now bonded with Batcow so she can't leave now. and bruce is like you know what this isn't even the weirdest thing I've dealt with this week, whatever honestly. Just take care of them properly. Damian is an artist, and he's bonding with little bitty superboy Jon, and learning to be a part of a new generation of Teen Titans some of the time. Also he's an incredible fighter. GREAT. And he's like super bonded with Dick, he loves Dick more than anyone besides Bruce, and he and Tim constantly fight but it's an improvement from actual murder attempts, so Tim will take it. Damian is growing and everyone is helping the murder child, like, learn to be a human child instead of a weapon. And he's probably gonna be a vigilante vet when he grows up, i bet.
126 notes
·
View notes
Note
This weeks comics?
So much to cover, and just so we’re all clear upfront, SPOILERS ahead.
Sideways Annual #1: I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive the cover for simply reading “All-out Action, guest-starring Superman” rather than the declaration of “The Champion of the Oppressed is BACK–JUST WHEN THE WORLD NEEDS HIM MOST!” it demanded, but otherwise what a delightful comic. It’s a mess in so many ways given Morrison’s working with what DiDio laid down for him (which he seems to demonstrate hilarious contempt for when he almost literally drops a bridge on the no-hoper who’d been set up as the arc villain before he can do anything) and jumping on mid-stream to boot, but it’s basically just an extended excuse for him to put dialogue in Superman and the Seven Soldiers’ mouths again and remind everyone how rad his takes on them are, and thereby shame us for abandoning the former. Plus give us a taste of what his voice for Spider-Man would be, which it turns out is a perfectly fine one in spite of his past professed skepticism that he could pull it off. And above all to assure us with a smile and the proper send-off (a particularly satisfying one for me personally given my arachnophobia) we never got before that even if we never see our pal cop-punching, bank-busting, casual Fridays Superman again, he’ll be out there, along with all the other cast-off good Superman ideas, helping out wherever he can.
Also, who else caught the nudge and wink about the Tailor, and how that tells devoted Seven Soldiers fans just how much of role Morrison really played in saving his take on Superman?
Batman #60: Batman is…Batman is weird lately. I honestly don’t have anything else to say about this issue, except that the bit with Alfred cleaning was obviously killer.
The Unexpected #6: So Ronan Cliquet is bad, right? Like, we can all agree that dude is just bringing nothing to the table? I’ve never seen pages so plain look so simultaneously cramped and barren. This book has been such a damn disappointment: clearly promises were made about how much space Orlando would have to work on this that have been entirely broken, he’s cutting past what was clearly intended to be dozens of issues of buildup and fleshing-out of the concept to the grand finale, and he’s already obviously and understandably checked out. This should have been one of those “hey, you never heard of _____, but it was quietly one of DC’s best books for awhile there!” titles you learn about 20 years after the fact, but it was stillborn and unable to explore even the slightest sliver of its potential. It’s almost reached a point where it can make me think its coming conclusion is a mercy killing, but then, said conclusion is the problem.
Justice League #11: The debut of the Super-eyepatch! Otherwise, while it’s definitely not my favorite issue thus far of Snyder’s Justice League, it might be the one that feels the most well-realized in terms of getting his vision on the page thanks to Francis Manapul. I desperately hope he sticks on the book past Drowned Earth, because as much as I absolutely love what Jorge Jimenez and Jim Cheung are doing, his vision feels the most in line with the, as Snyder put it, ‘magisterial’ tone this title is going for a lot of the time.
The Green Lantern #1: Not my favorite Morrison title of the week in spite of its lack of clutter and outside influence, to the point where I’d honestly say it initially left me pretty cold, but much as with Morrison’s last major #1 in Action Comics, a reread did wonders for me once I knew what sort of tone I’d be grappling with. I do think it was oddly structured in a way that didn’t benefit it, leading with the mundane-flavored-with-cosmic with the alien beat cops rather than Hal’s more grounded perspective leading into the awe-inspiring, but given it sets up an immediate contrast with his ‘civilian life’, I’d call it a calculated risk that didn’t quite pay off. Hal himself is interestingly realized, this blunt, bored dude who only really comes alive when he’s on the clock, who’s as hyper-competent at his job as you’d think the Greatest Green Lantern Of Them All would be but almost seems to be sleepwalking through his days. It’s when we reach Oa with the mission statement for the Corps that the book really comes together, meshing up the beautiful design sense, an evocation of some of Morrison’s past recurring themes and elements, and raw high concept into the most powerful evocation of the basic idea of Green Lantern’s Deal I’ve ever read. And Liam Sharp mostly does justice by it; I know some find his style off-putting and his anatomy wonky, but he sells the what-if-GL-was-a-2000AD-strip sensibility, and his work has a framing and structure and a tangible, doughy 3Dishness that recalls the flavor of some of Morirson’s best prior collaborations. Not that, to be clear, I don’t think plenty of those prior collaborators couldn’t have done a much better job with this, but I think this’ll pan out just fine.
On top of that a couple minor notes: I suspect David Uzumeri might have been right regarding the possibility that this could be the book where Morrison delves into the basic question of whether superheroes are by nature cops, and thereby police brutality (Maxim Tox and Hal himself both have some startlingly severe moments in here) and the moral feasibility of the whole business. Rather than rethinking his process in his time away, Morrison’s storytelling tics are as prominently on display here as just about anything he’s ever done. And I was genuinely shocked to see the acknowledgement of Manhattan in here - a landmark chapter in The Last War In Albion in the making if ever there was one - right alongside addressing Snyder’s Justice League, making this to my knowledge the only book in the company’s lineup to acknowledge both contenders to the throne of DC’s current actual Important Cosmic-Scale Story. I suppose Lantern is the place where that makes sense, but both bring interesting elements of their own, as with the Source Wall Morrison’s going right on in and acknowledging how other creators have brought his ideas and spirit to the forefront of the DCU in the last several years, and with Manhattan, having a Grant Morrison DC Comic acknowledge the presence of Watchmen characters as parts of the grand scheme of things makes that whole bizarre business feel real in a way even Doomsday Clock itself hasn’t for me.
Adventures of the Super Sons #4: What a charmer! I harped a lot on Pete Tomasi by and large sucking on Superman, because by and large he sucked on Superman, but put that dude on just the right project to play into his strengths and he absolutely shines.
The Dreaming #3: Wound up in my pull file since I’d unsubscribed so recently, and decided to give it one last chance. It’s pretty and confident in what it’s doing and I’m sure lots of people are rightfully getting a lot out of it, but I’m not one of them and it won’t be getting another shot.
Border Town #3: It feels odd to think this given how much positive attention it’s been getting and how well it’s sold for a modern Vertigo book, but Border Town absolutely still feels like the sleeper hit of 2018. It so feels like the sort of comic that I usually can acknowledge the quality of but doesn’t do it for me personally, so I keep picking it up expecting to not quite gel with a given issue, but each time I’m dead damn wrong. It’s brimming with energy and personality on every level, and it’s still early enough that I can’t possibly recommend enough that anyone who hasn’t given it a chance yet jump onboard.
The Wicked + The Divine: The Funnies: Speaking of titles that I can acknowledge the quality of but rarely do it for me, I’ve followed W + D from the beginning on the understanding that the fairly subdued joys I take from it on a month-by-month basis will be eclipsed by the scale of my love for it on a full reread, as was the case with the team’s Young Avengers. But boy did this one buck that trend, because it was a hoot. Honestly couldn’t tell you which was my favorite short, because like half the book is made up of front-runners.
Death of the Inhumans #5: Because Death of Some Inhumans, But Don’t Worry Not Any of the Good Ones, Other than Maximus wouldn’t have shifted as much copy. Donny Cates is establishing himself as a solid mid-tier superhero writer alongside your Tim Seeleys and James Tynions, and Ariel Olivetti’s a treat, but I have to call this one a miss.
Shatterstar #2: As I expected it didn’t grab me as much as the first issue since the tenants aren’t front-and-center, but I’m still digging it to a truly startling extent!
Marvel Knights #1: Okay? I mean, I liked it (aside from the unbelievably poorly-chosen ‘I can sort of see even though I’m blind’ line - had to be a dozen better ways of putting that), but aside from that it’s gritty and involves some of the characters with notable history in the imprint, I have no idea why this is the Marvel Knights 20th Anniversary book as opposed to just a random Marvel miniseries that I suppose could be published under that imprint if you wanted. The conceit feels so odd for the intended purpose.
The Immortal Hulk #8: This book is SO FUCKING GOOD ALL OF THE TIME AT EVERYTHING AND YOU ALL NEED TO BUY IT AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT IT. CHRIST. Still the best super-shit on the stands.
DC Nation #6: Yanick Paquette needs to write Batman explaining science so as to teach us how to better fight crime for as long as he lives, if not in fact longer.
#Grant Morrison#Superman#Green Lantern#The Unexpected#Border Town#DC Comics#Marvel#Liam Sharp#Week's Comics#Opinion
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Teeth Are Like Swords
Summary: Because I like the irony of Tim Drake being a fire-breathing Drake too much...
Tim waits under the huge clock at City Hall for midnight. He doesn’t know why all city halls like to sport a giant clock like it’s all the rage, but whatever. It seems like the best place for a bit of melodrama. (Besides, he’s taken tips from the best drama queen cough starts with a ‘B’ and rhymes with juice cough). The hand strikes the top and the clock booms, each gong vibrating his body underneath the clock face and finally—finally—Tim turns eighteen.
And Tim Drake Wayne gets what he’s been waiting for.
Sparks crackle under his tongue as his pupils narrow for a moment to take in the stars through the miles of smog. His skin ripples impatiently as his mother’s magic bubbles up and wakes in his bones at last. Finally, he thinks rubbing his chest at the fire that freaking hurts thank you very much right under his sternum. That’s gonna take awhile to get used to. Finally, he smiles when he looks down his shirt to see the muted glow flickering in time with his heartbeat. Ready to burn when necessary.
It's beyond totally rad.
Awaking his inner core is like being Robin for the first time again. Where everything is brand new: the sights, the smells, even the air tastes fresh with chemicals Tim can only begin to decipher coating his roof of his mouth. His heart beats hard at how exciting and dangerous it all is, just enough to make normal people run away screaming.
But then again when has he ever been normal?
Not since Mother set him on her knee to tell him what he is, what she is. Tim absentmindedly pulls off a gauntlet to claw the side of the building, trying to soothe his itching and aching nails as flashes of her pass through his mind.
Like the night when Mother thawed enough to remember her duties to her clutch egg. The eight-year-old boy fitting tight in her lap as she tends to his hands.
“We’re lucky your claws are soft enough for obsidian,” she muses as she efficiently moves from digit to digit, the volcanic glass snipping quickly. “When you’re older you'll have to grind them down with something more...durable, metal for instance, over and over to sharpen them to your liking.”
(Like he’s doing now. Augh. He’ll have to find a parking garage or something. Somewhere loud enough to cover the screeching nails on chalkboard sound, somewhere where the grooves he’s making will go unnoticed.)
The boy bounces once or twice and then bites his lip. “Mother?”
“Yes, my pet?”
“Did you marry Dad because his name was Drake?” Tim asks, looking up. There’s a scale somewhere at the base of her jaw, he just knows it.
“No.” But her tone mildly suggests otherwise. At Tim’s sceptical face she adds, “It might have made me more susceptible to his advances, however.”
“Oh my gosh, you so did.” His mom kept his dad over a pun.
Janet hums, bemused at her clutch child. What a silly thing. When his nails are done, she grooms his hair, double-checking for signs to hide. A charm or two can go a long way. Besides, she and Jack leave in the morning and it will not do for one of hers to be unkempt. Sometimes she wonders if the only reason she convinces Jack to return is for this, to sate the itch, the biting lips, the shaking of her fingers that will only stop if she checks and accounts for the hoard. Not that her human mate knows that everything in the quiet mansion is a part of her treasure.
“Are you ever going to tell Dad?”
“Tell him what?” She goes still. Her child is growing clever too fast. Not as easily placated as before.
Tim carefully moves, tracing the lone black piece that glimmers in the hollow under her ear.
She cocked her head at him, the crack her neck makes is unnatural. Her eyes flare a tiny bit bringing the purple out of them, the same purple that hides in Tim’s eyes. “No. Humans always panic.”
Tim cringes. “Always?”
“Always. And their weapons, their toys, my pet? Have gotten much, much better.” At his crestfallen face, she swoops down to press a kiss to his forehead. It burns. He knows there will be a light mark tomorrow, but he’ll still treasure it and outline where it used to be when it’s long gone. “Besides I’ve already decided to spend the rest of my days in this form with your father. Why tell him about something he’ll never see?”
The notion is irritating and Janet refuses to waste time considering it. Humans are so hard to convince. Hard to convince that the idea of your being is real and then hard to convince that you mean them no harm. Janet huffs. A dragon’s patience is not limitless.
“Well, don’t you need to tell him about me?” He peers at her through his bangs.
Janet purses her lips. “Perhaps. We do not know how your father’s blood will mix with mine. We’ll see if it’s necessary when you come of age...but I doubt when your lessons are done that you’d be so foolish to slip and reveal yourself.” A hint to fang escapes her at the thought.
Tim gulped loudly.
“Oh, stop that. Your emotions are too clear, Timothy. Remember: cold face, cold voice. Let no one know your belly’s hot.”
Tim schools his face and tries his last question. “Do you really have to go?”
“Oh, my son, one day you will understand the call to find, to take, and hoard for yourself. But never collect people, Timothy.” Her sharp nails rake carefully over his scalp. The next words are softer, almost gentle for the ruthless woman. “Humans are too hard to keep, they don’t stay where you leave them...your heart weeps when they never stay.”
(Tim should have listened. There’s an old ache beyond the fire in his veins. Steph, Kon, Bart, Bruce...Dick. Yeah. He was an idiot. Then again...he shouldn’t have thought they were his in the first place.)
She turns him and settles the young child into bed. Pats the covers and turns off the lights. “If nothing else comforts you, remember this...you and your father are the only people in my hoard.” The glow of her eyes lulls him to sleep.
And the phrase did comfort him. No matter how rare it was for her to be warm, no matter how long their ‘trips’ were, no matter how utterly alone he felt among the priceless antiques and artifacts that multiplied over the years. He had a place to belong.
He was hers.
She just wasn't...his.
In the present, he stands and shakes himself loose from the wall. The others will be coming for him soon. Or at least Dick will. Something about birthday wishes and all that. You never know what is really going to hit the vigilante as super important, though it’s funny to see him shake up the bunch of bats. Tim even thinks he saw Damian kicking wrapping paper under the bed. Dick really did a number on him.
“Drake!”
Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Tim smirks, and slips from the roof to meet the boy on another. (Gotta leave the evidence behind somehow, right?). He hears boots clip the side of the building with an angry huff.
Too bad Mother’s adages have their limits. The traditional favorite of ‘Eat him’ is just not going to cut it. No matter how tempting the solution is whenever Damian decides to be annoying, or vicious.
It’s regrettable sometimes.
Luckily, the boy has mellowed out from ‘let me stab you’ to ‘let me stab your insecurities’. It’s progress. Dick is so proud.
“Where have you been?” Damian snarls, getting up into Tim’s space. “Father and others have been wasting precious time looking for you everywhere. Even Grayson has cut back patrol for this ridiculous farce of a celebration.”
“Oh, did he? I didn’t get the memo.”
“Yes, you did,” the preteen hisses. “Grayson has sent text messages all day. If you say your phone has not been vibrating itself into oblivion, then you shall be the filthiest liar in my association.”
Aw, Tim feels so honored. “My phone is dead?”
Damian puffs up and Tim with his new sight can even see his face flush red in the dark. “Must you be absolutely impossible? How could you–” He freezes and sniffs the air primly. Then he turns to the man enraged. “Drake...have you been smoking?”
“Why would I be–yes.” Tim switches tracks so fast his own head spins a little. “Yes. I’ve been smoking.” Fuck, he didn’t think that effect would take place so soon. He swallows down the version of nitroglycerin lingering in his mouth awkwardly and breathes through his nose to drown his sparks. But hey, the excuse would work, huh? Even mother carried a box of cigarettes just in case.
“Alfred shall be most displeased.” Damian narrows his eyes in disapproval.
“Well, Alfred should know that I’ve turned eighteen. I’m now an official adult. Free to destroy my body in any way I choose like the Waynes before me. Be grateful that I’ve picked my vice in coffee and smoke instead of the horrible wiles of flesh...like Dick.”
The line earns him a wrinkled nose and glare. “You are completely despicable, Drake.”
“I am,” Tim continues. “But don’t you fear, you won’t catch me smoking. Ever. No secondhand smoke ruining your lungs for you.”
“How beyond gracious of you,” Damian snorts. Tim smiles. Damian pushes on his back towards the edge of the building. “Now come. Everyone is waiting for you and you will not waste my time a second more.
For that, Tim deliberately takes the long way home, just to hear Damian angrily spew curses behind him. It’s his birthday, let him have this.
He takes into account other changes in the meantime. His steps are a little quicker, his jumps higher, longer until he uses his grappling hook only as a means to not to arouse suspicion to the boy struggling to keep up behind him until Tim actually slows down to keep the distance between them short. He bets he’s stronger too, but any other tests will have to wait. He’s probably not as strong as a meta, like Kon or Clark...not like this of course, but it won’t be something to laugh at.
Like how well his skin can take a hit..or a bullet now.
Poor B. The Bats really pride themselves on being completely powerless. Using tools and toys to compete with the whole superhero community (and generally come out kicking all their asses). Tim was gonna have to work twice as hard to cover up his tracks to avoid any...realizations. It’ll take a detective to fool a detective or take a few more ‘Titan’ missions out of Gotham to keep things under wraps. Missions that are more working on the tight pinch growing between his shoulder blades that’s starting to get real annoying. After a few hours he’ll definitely have to find a place to shift soon. Shed skin and fly until light cracks over the dirty city.
Will he have the same coloring as Mother? Dark ebony scales that merge into the night? Is he the size of a horse? A house?
Tim can’t wait to find out.
“H-Hurry up, Drake!” Damian wheezes when he gets the lead for a second or two. You know, when Tim pauses enough to let him catch up.
“Coming.”
He can’t wait to see what kind of Drake he is. In his ear, he can almost hear an echo of his Mother’s voice.
‘Happy Birthday...my pet.’
Happy Birthday indeed.
205 notes
·
View notes
Text
Feeling Feline
Enjoy cat stuff and sarcasm. Rusame with mild swearing.
“So... we're all going to pretend this is normal?” Alfred stated loudly. Russia was a few seats away, predatory purple eyes analyzing the upset American. The staring was quite normal at this point, it was everything else that was wrong.
For one thing, Russia had cat ears. They were a fluffy pale beige, rather soft looking things. The sharp looking canines and nails were also concerning. A long fluffy tail tipped in brown swished this way and that under his long coat. “What is the matter America?” Russia purred, almost literally.
“You're a cat dude. Why is no one freaking out?” Alfred objected, interrupting the world meeting for the third time. “Please do shut up Alfred. We know that foul creature is a cat.” England snapped, looking more miserable than usual due to a broken arm.
When no one pushed the conversation further, the honey blonde whined and sat down. Brazil started his presentation about green energy all over again, and the room collectively groaned. Listening to the mind numbing report, Alfred slid a chair closer to the feline Russia. Now two chairs away, the curious American leaned over. “Hey, are your ears really fluffy?” he whispered, poking Russia in the shoulder.
Russia's cool demeanor was betrayed by an annoyed flattening of ears and narrowed gaze. The ash blond sighed. “Yes they are fluffy. That is a stupid question.” he retorted. “Can I touch them?” Alfred asked as quietly as he could manage. The Russian contemplated hitting Alfred in the face, then changed his mind. “Yes, I suppose.” he replied, lower his head slightly in permission.
England was listening politely, but not hearing a word, as Brazil finally finished his long spiel. He glanced around the table, looking with fondness at all his former colonies. Canada was taking notes. Australia and New Zealand were giggling and exchanging doodles of sheep in various hats. America was smiling like a fool, petting the oversized beast known as Russia.
Wait, what?
Making as little noise as possible, England left his chair. Walking over to the tanned brat, the patriarchal figure grabbed his colony by the ear. “What in bloody hell do you think you are doing young man? That... thing is Russia, not a common house pet!” the sandy haired Brit hissed. “Piss off. You're not my dad.” America dismissed angrily, easily removing England's grip.
“He is grown up, let him make decisions.” Ivan rumbled, at peace as behind his cat ears was gently scratched. Regretting having thrown that unlabelled potion at the Slavic home intruder earlier in the week, Arthur grumbled and returned to his chair. He could only take America on solo, tricking him with double speak and long words. Russia was just as strong, and an accomplished wordsmith.
This was an argument, and possible fight, he couldn't win. Despite knowing when to take a loss these days, it still hurt Arthur's quieted pride immensely. Were he an still a terrifying blood stained empire, he would crush Russia into paste. Instead, England would have to take more back handed forms of revenge. With that in mind, he returned his attention to the current speaker.
00000
Rather pleased with himself, Arthur walked up to America's front porch. He had a small package of home cooking and potions in his arms. The parental figure had been so concerned about the Russia cat situation that he brewed up what was hopefully an antidote. Alfred loved cats, and that was certain to cause issues.
After knocking on the door several times, a groggy looking blonde with blue eyes appeared. “Who the fuck comes to visit on a Sunday, when... Oh. Hey England. What's up?” America ceased his complaining, features lighting up after a long yawn. He was shirtless with sweatpants on, not surprising since it was Sunday. Well, this was going great. Maybe they could have a civilized conversation over tea like the old days.
“I came to visit boy. It's been some time since I was overseas. I brought a surprise.” England explained curtly as he was let in. “Omigod, I love gifts. Whatisit whatisit?” the overgrown child squealed happily, grabbing and opening the large tin. “Haystacks.... Mmm.” he groaned, walking into the messy living room.
England froze upon seeing the worst thing in the world. It was cat Russia, tousled in half unbuttoned sleepwear, nursing a bottle of vodka while watching bizarre Sunday cartoons. “Mmm, ruskie you gotta try one, It's good.” Alfred offered, crashing on the couch next to the vile blond. “What is in it?” Russia asked, rosy looking and likely drunk.
“It's haystacks! There's pretzel bits and marshmallows and, nuts, and chocolate... and this weird purple thing, and uh... more nuts maybe? It's fucking awesome.” the always hungry American rambled after swallowing another sugary treat. Arthur smiled at the praise. Everyone was so afraid to eat his cooking for some reason. The man cat rolled his eyes, replying “I prefer vodka over poison, Alik.”
“Why are you here Russia? Don't you have an evil frozen throne to reside over?” Arthur insulted bitterly. “Nyet. My boss's daughters are allergic to cats, so I have been banished until my condition is cured.” Russia explained gleefully, putting an arm around America. He eyed Arthur maliciously as he pressed against Alfred in lustful manner.
Wanting to vomit, England retreated a step. “So... yeah. I have a pet kitty until his boss stops being an idiot. It's pretty fuckin' rad to have a cat you can arm wrestle with, and... other things.” Alfred trailed off, suddenly quite keen to change subjects. “... like amazing sex.” Russia gloated proudly, cuddling the American possessively.
Alfred was usually a horrible liar, and now wasn't an exception. He sputtered some lame excuse, but it died half way through delivery. “Come sunflower, perhaps I will bottom this time. We can even use toys.” Ivan flirted shamelessly, kissing Alfred's neck. Blushing hotly, the freckled American forgot the treats in hand completely. “You should probably leave, because I'm totally going to tap that.” America warned, practically dragging a terribly smug Russia upstairs.
Arthur stood there frozen in shock, unable to speak for once.
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know what I live for? Post-canon Alfred being like, absurdly powerful, cos come on, look at all the stuff he’s done without remembering, now that he has his shit together he’s got to be like that but ALL THE TIME. Like SERIOUSLY, they were talking about how being a Serpent Mage (or whatever animal-Mage) took years of study and practice and Alfred kind of just. Did it? LIKE. DUDE COULD KICK EVERYONE’S ASS.
And I mean Alfred is a huge pacifist so he probably wouldn’t show it off all the time but imagine some scenario where for whatever he just gets to unleash all his powers and just fuck shit up and Alfred’s got this nervous smile afterwards because everyone’s just sitting there staring and looking slightly terrified of him?
Haplo and Marit think it’s absolutely hilarious, of course, teasing him like “stop showing us up and making us look useless by comparison,” actually I live for them being super smug that the new Most Powerful Sartan(tm) is on their side, their friend/family/etc and embarrassing the heck out of him
(I say “new” like he wasn’t before but tbh i bet alfred could have taken Samah in a duel if it had come to that, that would have been rad, if contrary to his character, and haplo canonically agrees with me so jot that down)
#screaming into the void#i dunno i just like talking about alfred#and alfred being insanely powerful#alfred is best boy
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Imagine: bruce calling you after a fight
You wiped your cheeks for the second time after you left the wayne mansion , as they were still damp from tears.
You and bruce had been best friends since you could remember , you had known him way before Selina did but he liked her.
And you liked him. Maybe even more than liking , maybe even loving. But you knew your best friend of many years has feelings for Selina so you never said a word , in fear of ruining the friendship. Bruce and you had been through so much to let your feelings stand in the way.
It was a regular sunday , you were hungry and figured you wouldn't mind some of those blueberry pancakes Alfred makes every sunday for his beloved master bruce.
But as soon as you gotten to the mansion , Bruce wouldn't stop talking about Selina. How she looked in that dress and how she smiles.
you couldn't stand Bruce talking about her and you were getting jealous , he doesn't talk that way about you to anyone , was he even talking about you to anyone at all??
"She'll never like you with that attitude." You snap , stopping his Selina speech.
"What attitude?"
"The attitude where you follow her around gotham like a lost boy and talk about her like 'oh Selina likes cats and Selina wears a mask and Selina owns a fucking Yogurt shop!!' it's annoying and-"
Bruce cut you in the middle of the sentence. "Stop talking like that , you're being mean for no reason , what has she ever done to you ?"
"NOTHING!! She has done nothing wrong in her life, ever , 'cause she's a poor little kitten who needs YOUR protection , right?!"
"WHAT is your problem??"
"YOU are my problem . You are my problem beacuse you are here , talking about some random girl who doesn't give two shits about you-"
"That's fucking-"
"Let me finish . You are here talking about some random girl who doesn't give two shits about you , when there are already people in your life who love you and cherish you and you ignore them for Selina. Am I not GOOD enough for you anymore?!? was she the one to comfort you and grieve with you when...NO."
You felt a tear streaming your face.
"I was."
You stormed out with a tear in your eye and the smell of fresh blueberrys in your nose.
You were walking home with your earphones in your ear and remembred how bruce told you about the time he and selina shared them and listened to this stupid song. 'It was rad' the idiot said.
Your phone rang and bruce's silly face appeard on the screen , you stared at the picture of him, deciding to answer the phone.
"I'm sorry."
"I don't even get an hello ? That's rude , master bruce." You whispred in a weak voice . A slight low giggle was heard for the other side.
" hello , i'm sorry-"
"Nice to meet you sorry , that a lovely name."
"Stop it. I'm sorry. I didn't realize you felt that way and i'm sorry i made you feel that way , i didn't mean to ignore you, i care about you y/n i love you."
"Be careful with your words , master bruce."
" I mean it. I have to tell you that because it's the truth and i should've said it earlier , is it too late ?"
" i don't know , i never heard you talking about the way i smile." You said giggling with excitment.
" i talk about the way you smile . And i talk about the way you play with your hair and i talk about the way your eyes look in the sun and i talk about your school clubs. Be my girlfriend?"
And the rest was history.
#bruce wayne#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne imagine#gotham#david mazouz#david mazouz imagine#edward nygma#cory michael smith#the riddler#penguin#selina kyle#alfred pennyworth#dc comics#dc#oswald cobblepot#detective gordon#james gordon#jim gordon#cobblepot x nygma#gotham fox#gotham tv series#gotham tv show#gotham season 4
688 notes
·
View notes
Note
Billy is in Bruce’s care right? So how do you think the man (and Alfred and the rest of the bat kids) would react to a (seemingly) random tiger wandering the manor and snuggling to Billy. Billy introduces the tiger as Tawny from the Fawcett City zoo.
I’m not quite sure if this is about the JARP or in general but I’m assuming in general. Sorry for neglecting you Anon. This is l o n g
Dick at first is really concerned but after being convinced that Billy wasn’t being eaten by a tiger was totally cool with Tawny. Having spent his early life in the Circus he got to befriend a whole bunch of non domestic animals and probably thinks Tawny is the sweetest thing and ends up chatting with Billy about animals and promises to introduce Billy to all of the animals he met next time the circus comes to town.
Jay is pretty cool with Tawny but still trying to wrap his head around how he got here. “Like okay yeah that’s a pretty cool looking tiger, but how did he get here?? Billy did you steal a tiger? If you stole a tiger without me I’m going to be seriously hurt.” Jason makes Billy promise that if he ever partakes in an animal related heist Jay has to be the first person he calls. He begrudgingly pets Tawny and secretly falls in love with the random tiger that showed up in his living room.
Tim first sees Tawny late at night, he was doing some computer work and he drank some really strong coffee. Tim kinda just stares at Tawny trying to decide if he's real or not. He doesn’t really hear Billy go “Oh hi Tim!! This is Tawny!” And he has sort of has a staring contest with Tawny until he just rapidly blinks, looks at his half drank coffee, and pours it out. The next morning when Tim finds out that Tawny was in fact real and not a caffeine induced hallucination, he was kinda distressed that he poured out perfectly good coffee.
Damian already has a plethora of random animals he “saved” and is moderately impressed. When Billy introduces him to Tawny, the tiger knocks Damian over a licks his face. Billy while trying not to laugh is apologizing profusely, Damian while concealing a smile just says “Charming.” Dami has already decided that Tawny is the most superior tiger there is and helps Billy take care of him. (Actual conversation they’ve had)Billy: So you have a pet cow??Damian: Yes.Billy: Oh cool!Damian: You have a tiger, I assume?Billy: Yep! Damian: Interesting.Damian, under his breath: I will die for this tiger.
Steph thinks Tawny is super awesome. When Billy first introduced them to each other, Stephanie and Tawny has a mini staring contest and then Tawny pressed his nose to Steph’s (it’s a thing cats do)Steph, softy and in awe: That’s fucking rad.Steph constantly asks Billy if they can train Tawny to attack their enemies, it’s become an inside joke between them. (Actual conversation)Steph: What if instead of driving cars and stuff everyone just rode tigers instead??Billy: That would be so cool.Billy: But wait what if they got tired and their feet hurt??Steph: We give them jet packs.Billy: You’re a genius!
Cass loves Tawny and will just fall asleep right next to him. Whenever she goes out or to the pet store she always brings back something for Tawny. You’d think a gigantic tiger wouldn’t care for a toy mouse stuffed with catnip, you’d be wrong. Tawny loves it. Cass, Billy, and the others go outside to the courtyard and just play with Tawny and have a blast. Racing or play wrestling with a tiger is good exercise.
Billy wouldn’t have brought Tawny over without getting permission from Bruce. However, Bruce didn’t quite realize Billy meant an actual tiger. He walks into the living room and there is Billy hugging Tawny and hasn’t heard Bruce come in. Bruce doesn’t know why he’s surprised, of course it’s a real tiger, he has like 6 other kids he should be used to this by now. Bruce sees how happy Billy is to see Tawny and how much he missed him, he just can’t let himself tell Billy no. It’s too cute, a 10 year old is cuddling a tiger, Bruce discretely takes a picture for the scrap book. Bruce realizes that Billy is a lot like Damian, only an inch shorter and less likely to bite someone.
Alfred isn’t even surprised honestly. He already cleans up enough cat fur from Alfred II but what’s a bit more? After all, he can’t be mad at Billy, the sweet kid who isn’t used to a butler and offers to help with the dishes and makes his bed every morning. So Alfred doesn’t say anything, just buys a large scratching post and shares a knowing look with Bruce. Surprisingly, Tawny is very well behaved. He's a bit to big to be able to sit in someone’s lap but he's essentially a big cat, so Alfred smiles and gives him an ear scratch every time he passes Tawny.
#shut up Dirk#thank u anon#capt MVP#batfam#Billy batson#Dick Grayson#Jason Todd#Tim drake#Damian Wayne#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#Bruce Wayne#alfred pennyworth#Tawky tawny
26 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
cdbolivarhistorica-blog
CIUDAD BOLÍVAR HISTÓRICA-TURÍSTICA Y GASTRONÓMICA.
musicforawhile
Music for a while
cedarparkwindowreplacement-blog
Cedar Park Window Replacement Company
sl0t
bless the creation
chugsondeck
Chugs On Deck