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jeonqkooks · 8 months

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our beloved summer | jjk (07)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, swearing, mentions of oc's mother because we know girlie is hella traumatized, mentions of drinking, mentions of an almost physical fight, abandonment issues, jk forgets to practice safe driving for 2 seconds, and uhmmm kissing 🤫, anddd that cliffhanger? 👀 rating: 18+ (minors dni) word count: 10.8k note (1): this is the longest it has taken me to update obs and i do feel pretty guilty about that. but it's finally here now and this is one of the chapters that i'm the most nervous about posting. massive thanks to @daechwitatamic and @wintaerbaer for beta-ing this for me or else i would've screamed cried thrown up and scrapped the whole thing, and to @jeonwiixard for being a wonderful cheerleader as i was writing this, and to everyone in my beloved obs discord server for always being so sweet and kind and putting a smile on my smile every day since the server was created. also to my sunshine ☀︎ for introducing me to the song mentioned below bc HELLO is it not just one of the most obs coded songs ever. love you all my babies <3

series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist join our OBS discord server ✨

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Somewhere in the multiverse There's a me and you that works We never fuck it up We're out there still in love Somewhere in the multiverse Maybe that's enough

multiverse - Maya Manuele ft. PEMRBOKE

Sometimes, whenever you look up at the moon at night, you wonder if Jungkook is doing the same thing.

Even when you fall out of love with someone, it still hurts. It hurts because you once loved them so much it felt like the sky would collapse if you couldn’t be with them. It hurts because the love wasn’t taken from you, but rather it started slipping away on its own, more and more each day until you realize you’re holding onto nothing when there once was everything.

You can’t say that you’re too familiar with that kind of hurt though. You’ve never fallen out of love before.

You don’t think Jungkook is too familiar with it either, at least not when he left you.

You wonder if he thinks about you from time to time and gets sad. You think he does, because you know that he loved you. Something ended for him too. The memories that you shared were his memories too.

You hope that it’s painful for him whenever thoughts of you cross his mind, because that would mean that he cares. That a part of him still cares.

And if he still cares, then he might come back.

Despite the front that you try to parade around, there is a part of you that will always leave your heart vacant for him, regardless of whether or not he would return. It’s a scary thought, one that you would rather avoid at all costs, one that says there will be no one that you love more than you loved Jungkook. Maybe there can’t be another person that you will love at all.

You can come back quietly, like the wind slipping through the crack I leave in the window at night; or you can announce your return resoundingly like a sudden downpour quenching the summer heat. I don’t care. I kept your side of the bed empty and warm, waiting for you to come back. Hoping that you would come home.

[08:47] Yoongi: sure you don’t want me to drive you there? [08:48] Yoongi: i can pick you up in 30 [08:52] You: positive 🤧 i told you i already booked the train. it’s only 4 hours away [08:53] You: i’ll survive, yoongs [08:55] Yoongi: did you not watch Train To Busan? [08:56] You: ? [08:57] Yoongi: what if there’s a zombie apocalypse [09:00] You: yoongi if there’s a zombie apocalypse, how is your CONVERTIBLE supposed to keep me safe [09:01] Yoongi: i’ll put the roof up [09:02] You: stop talking [09:02] You: please stop talking. [09:03] Yoongi: 😡😡😡 [09:03] You: 😇 [09:03] You: gotta get dressed now though. i’ll see u when i get back? :) [09:05] Yoongi: fine [09:06] Yoongi: safe travels. text me when you get there :)

You plop onto your bed with a sigh, glancing at the bag that’s already packed and sitting near your wardrobe, lonely. You stay like that for a while, contemplating whether or not you should bail at the very last minute.

It was not on your bingo card that you’d be here, agonizing over your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding. Nope. Absolutely no one saw it coming.

For fuck’s sake, why would they invite you to a wedding? A celebration of love? It feels like you’re being forced onto a prank show, just waiting for someone to jump out and scream in your face.

You learned that the wedding was for close friends and family only, so it would be a relatively small event, which makes it even more confusing why you were also asked to join. Maybe the world is changing too rapidly and you’re just a little old-fashioned for it, but you really don’t understand why your ex-boyfriend’s family would want you there.

Taehyung and Jimin were invited too; they’re Jungkook’s best friends after all. They’re practically an extension of the family, Jungkook’s brothers by choice. But Taehyung doesn’t come back from his work trip until the day of the wedding, and Jimin… Well, he just doesn’t want to go to a Busan wedding in the middle of winter.

So why are you even going?

You could’ve declined. Said you couldn’t attend because the invitation came in so late. Made up a work trip or a family emergency. There’s a plethora of excuses you could’ve used.

Or you could’ve simply said no. That would’ve been perfectly fine too. No one would even need to ask why.

But maybe it was because his mother had customized the invite with her own handwriting in the back. You would’ve missed it if you hadn’t spent hours meticulously studying the card like someone was going to quiz you. It wasn’t anything special - just We hope to see you there - but you think you’d feel really bad to decline after she’d made the extra effort to ask you to come.

When you told Yoongi that you would be attending Jungkook’s brother’s wedding, he didn’t seem upset. Still cool as a cucumber. Although if he was bothered by the announcement, you don’t think he would’ve let it show. It did take him a minute to take it in, but then he just pecked your cheek and asked if you could bring a plus-one. You both knew that you wouldn’t even if that was an option.

Pushing your body off the bed, you drag yourself to the bathroom to splash some water on your face. Then sunscreen. Then change into the clothes you’d already picked out last night. Your train doesn’t leave for another hour and fifteen minutes, but you want to be there at least twenty minutes early just in case. This is one of your only good habits.

You rub your eyes when you finally haul yourself outside, thinking you must still be dreaming because what is Jungkook’s car doing here?

You blink a few times, expecting the vehicle to disappear in a puff of white smoke.

Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

The car is in front of you, but the man is nowhere to be found.

You stand there dumbfoundedly, contemplating whether you should wait it out for a little bit to see if he’s actually here. He comes running up to you a couple minutes later, holding two paper cups in his hands, one of them a chai latte. A memory you’d buried long ago comes rushing to the surface. It’s too early for you to be feeling.

“Hi,” he says, his warm breath coming out in a huff of smoke in the crisp morning air.

“Hi?” you mutter dumbly when he trades the bag in your hand for the drink. There’s a moment where you’re genuinely baffled, wondering if this is a memory reel playing right before your eyes. This is your Jungkook, wearing that same old smile whenever he used to come bounding up your dorm building so you could walk to the library together, where he would hang out with you during your shift if he didn’t have classes. “What are you doing here?”

You don’t remember telling him what time your train was, so he’d probably badgered it out of Taehyung or Jimin somehow.

“I thought I could drive us there,” he says. “I texted you about it.”

Well, that explains it. You don’t bother with his dozens of messages anymore. “Oh, uhm, I already booked the train.”

This doesn’t seem to faze him at all. “Free cancellation up to 15 minutes before departure.” Jungkook grins, clearly eager despite your obvious reluctance. It’s too early for this, whatever the hell this is.

When you told him that you had RSVP’d yes to the invitation, he was surprised that you even knew about the wedding. He even seemed nervous that day.

“What if I’d already left?” you ask.

He blinks, then stammers like a confused child. It’s cute, and you have to mentally slap yourself over the head for even thinking that.

“Then I’d go after you.”

How? you scoff internally. Unrealistic.

Regardless, not even an hour ago, you were declining Yoongi’s offer to drive you there. Now, you’re standing here, in front of your ex-boyfriend, contemplating whether or not you should go with him.

“Let’s go,” he says after a minute. “We don’t wanna be stuck in traffic.”

“I haven’t said yes.” Yet. “It’s a 4-hour drive.”

You don’t have to clarify what you mean. He understands it.

You both just stare at each other for a moment, the tension suddenly thickening with every passing second. Four hours on the road. Four hours alone in a car with Jungkook. That’s about two hundred minutes more than you think you can handle.

It’s like he can see right through you. “Don’t think about it,” he says, voice dropping lower. “It’s just a weekend. Everything will still be here for you to think about when we get back.”

In your head, it translates to: All of our shit will still be here when we get back. You can keep being mad at me then.

You hope that’s not true. You hope that when you get back, the things that keep you up at night will simply cease to exist. That in the two days you’ll be gone, a genie will materialize and solve all your problems for you.

Either way, it’s probably for the best that you aren’t mean to him this weekend. You’re stuck with him for the next 48 hours or so; it’ll only stress you out even more if you channel all of your energy into tormenting him. Besides, you’re already the ex girlfriend who has no place alongside his family. You don’t want to be the dark cloud raining on everyone’s parade too.

Maybe you’d already made up your mind when you let him take the bag from you.

For the first half of the drive, you were unconscious.

It’s a useless superpower that you have, the ability to fall asleep anywhere - literally anywhere, including in the passenger seat of your ex-boyfriend’s car while he escorts you to his hometown. Melatonin gummies manufacturers hate you.

You could’ve slept the whole drive, but around the second hour mark, you were startled awake when your body jostled forward, straining against your seatbelt uncomfortably. There was an arm trying to hold you back, despite the seatbelt having done its job well.

“Fuck,” Jungkook curses before he turns toward you, worry written all over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, are you okay?”

You blink, still half asleep. “I’m okay,” you say. The minivan that Jungkook almost rear-ended continues on its merry way, carrying what seems to be a family of five. “What happened?”

He sighs, his outstretched arm retreating back to his side. “I got a bit distracted, that’s all.”

You take in your surroundings then. There’s barely any other cars in sight, no tacky billboard that sticks out like a sore thumb to catch your attention. There’s just the freeway, stretching on empty for all you can see.

“By what?” you ask.

“Nothing,” he says. “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we get there.”

See, you have the superpower of falling asleep anywhere and everywhere, but once you’ve been woken up, it’s not as easy to fall back asleep.

That, and the fact that you’re hungry as shit.

You open your mouth, about to say no, about to offer to drive the rest of the way if Jungkook is tired, but your stomach doesn’t let you get a word out. It growls, filling the space of the car, making you want to chuck yourself out the fucking window and run all the way back to the city. This wouldn’t have happened had you taken the train, because if you had, there would’ve been food services and no one would be subject to hearing your stomach sing like it’s chewing out a small puppy in there. Life is nothing but an endless pit of embarrassment and despair.

Your arms hold themselves tighter around your frame, practically squeezing into your abdomen as you will it to please, please, please be quiet. Jungkook stares at you, and you can tell by the teeny tiny quirk of his lips that he’s trying to bite back a smile. He’s relaxed, but there’s still something hesitant on his face. It takes him a minute before he finally throws the question out.

“Do you want to go to that guksu place that we used-” that we used to go to, “you know the place. The one that’s right off the freeway?”

The sun is out today. The sky unfolds endlessly just outside the window, coloring blue everything your eyes land on. There are strips of clouds scattered here and there, like delicate strokes of white paint on an azure canvas. Even the winter cold has to soften.You bite into your cheek. Don’t think, that’s what he had told you.

Not much about this quaint restaurant has changed. The quirky decorations are still where they used to be, the windows still the same unique stained glass that you never came across anywhere else. You remember the elderly woman who runs the place, even if she doesn’t have a single clue who you are. The golden retriever you used to fawn over every time you stopped by, sits quietly by the door and watches the cars pass by, his fur now graying as weariness begins to settle into those old bones.

You would’ve been displeased if the place had changed, because, well, you don’t like change. But then again, this familiarity is dangerous. It tricks you into thinking that everything is still the same, even you and him. Deludes you into believing that you’re still in love and that he’ll walk out of here holding your hand.

Regardless, the first spoonful has you biting back a smile.

“How is it?” Jungkook asks.

It makes you feel all warm inside, and then a little sad, nostalgic.

“Tastes just the same,” you tell him simply.

“Hmm.”

He lets you satisfy your hunger in peace. It’s the least he can do anyway.

There’s a wall near the back of the restaurant, where people could hang polaroids of themselves and cute handwritten notes. You think if you dig through the hundreds of photos scattered across the space, you might be able to find you and Jungkook there, if you two haven’t already been thrown out long ago to make room for new memories.

He pays for your food after you’re both finished, despite some protesting on your side. As you leave, you’re busy thinking that if you could have a moment to marvel at that far-back wall of memories, if you could find a photo of you and him there, you would probably sneak it into your coat pocket.

It’d be another thing to add to your pile of Jungkook memorabilia - the old clothes in the back of your closet, the stack of dusty polaroids at the bottom of your drawer. You wonder if he keeps anything of yours, maybe an old t-shirt that you forgot to take back. It’s probably unlikely, but a girl can hope.

You miss the way Jungkook glances back, thinking the exact same thing.

You survive the rest of the drive with more ease, probably because of the food. You spend most of the remaining 2 hours leaning against the window, humming to the radio, closing your eyes but not really sleeping. You even forget to be nervous about what is to come.

That is, until the car pulls up to the venue.

It’s absolutely gorgeous, and a lot bigger than you imagined - a modern beach house overlooking the waters. It’s not as extravagant as one would expect to see when they come to a wedding, but considering the small crowd in attendance, this is more than enough. You see people rush in and out of the place even from far away - planners, caterers, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, probably.

You feel a bit comforted just watching this. His family seems to be doing a lot better than before. It’s nice to know.

You barely make it out of the car before someone calls your name, and pulls you into a hug that knocks the wind out of you. Although, when you catch the scent of her hair, you instantly know who it is.

Parents usually have a scent that’s distinct to only their kids, a scent so cozy and homely that no perfume can ever mask. You can only describe your mom’s scent with a feeling, specifically the feeling of your chest tightening, tingling with a bittersweetness that you never found elsewhere.

Strangely enough, Jungkook’s mother has always made you feel the opposite. She makes you feel relieved to be in her embrace, like she accepts you for who you are even if all you are to her, at the end of the day, is a stranger.

You hug her back awkwardly, hesitantly, in front of Jungkook’s dad, his brother Junghyun, and a girl you don’t know. You assume that she’s the bride-to-be, the main character whom this weekend revolves around. Sooji, you remember that was the name on the wedding invitation.

You get choked up suddenly, eyes turning glassy though you quickly blink it away. You’re not sure if you’ve had someone be so happy to see you. Bypassers might even think that you just found the cure for cancer.

For a second there, you wonder if your mere presence has ever made your mother this overjoyed.

You look at Jungkook for help, silently asking him to rescue you. Who else are you supposed to turn to if not him?

He understands that look. “Okay, mom,” he says, entangling her arms from you with ease, “Y/N’s tired from the drive. Let’s let her rest, yeah? I’ll show her the room.”

She ignores her son. “Honey,” she says, brushing your hair away from your face so she could see you better. “Thank you for coming.” She used to insist that you call her “mom”, or at least by her first name because “Mrs. Jeon” was too formal for someone she considered family.

You now have to opt for the latter, because “mom” isn’t an option for you anymore.

“Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Jeon,” you tell her with a smile. You’re not really sure what else to say, but it makes you a little sad just calling her that.

She opens her mouth before closing it again, seemingly about to jokingly scold you for the formality before she recognizes the bittersweet look in your eyes. She just smiles at you then. There’s not much to be done about it.

You don’t know if anyone else sees how the moment is weighed down. Probably not. Maybe it’s just you and her who share this sentiment.

Jungkook doesn’t wait for his mom anymore. Sons, typical. He wedges himself between the two of you like a bulldozer and leads you inside the house.

Even though all you have is an overnight bag, Jungkook carries it for you all the way up to your room, which is only down the hall from his. Then he disappears pretty quickly afterward, saying something about his best man duties and putting out fires. He seems apologetic as he tells you this, but it’s not like you’re expecting him to babysit you all weekend.

You bore yourself to death in your room for a while, before you remember you have to text Yoongi to let him know you got here safely. Though, you stop short of telling him that it was Jungkook who drove you here. It’s trivial enough, right? You don’t want Yoongi to feel bad over nothing. You do, however, inform Taehyung and Jimin when you text them about it, to which Jimin only responds with a preemptively disapproving ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’

When you get too stir-crazy, you wander outside, hoping to explore the beach before it gets dark and colder. You try to stay out of everyone’s way, because a good guest is a quiet guest. You seem to be doing a good job. No one notices you, not even Jungkook’s mom but that’s because she’s the person you actively want to avoid the most. You don’t know what you’d even say to her if she gets you alone.

Everything is hectic, as one can probably imagine when it comes to wedding preparations. You haven’t had anyone close to you get married yet, so it’s safe to say that you’re pretty much clueless about all of this. You wonder what it’ll be like when your big day comes around, if you even ever get married. You haven’t thought about it in a long time. Why would you? You don’t really have a reason to think about this. It’s much easier to picture Taehyung’s or Jimin’s wedding day than your own.

Your opinion on having kids still remains the same, and you were never one of those girls who daydreamed about having a big and extravagant wedding, but it’s not such a bad idea to ponder about. You still think marriage is a scary thing - it’s one of the biggest commitments a person could ever make - but you’re not entirely opposed to getting married.

Why are you even mulling over this? Your time might never even come.

When you round the corner to get the steps that would lead you down to the beach, you run into Sooji and a woman holding a thick binder - must be a wedding planner. You give Jungkook’s future sister-in-law an awkward smile in greeting, which she returns much more gracefully before she tells the woman that she’ll be with her in a minute.

So now you’re stuck here, about to make small talk with a person you have never met before, and will likely never see again. Great.

“Hi,” you say, extending a hand. “I haven’t had the chance to introduce myself. I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Sooji,” she replies warmly as she shakes your hand, and you have to stop yourself from being a little weirdo and thinking about how silky her hair looks up close. “You’re Jungkook’s… friend, right?”

You purse your lips before nodding with a chuckle. The pause tells you that she knows, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she’s uncomfortable having you here.

“I’m sorry if this is weird. You probably don’t want a complete stranger at your wedding.”

Sooji shakes her head instantly, waving her hands around to dismiss your apology. “Please, it’s totally fine. Junghyun’s mom talked to me about it before we sent out the invites. I wouldn’t have agreed if I was really bothered. Don’t worry about it, seriously.”

“Why did you agree?” you ask, trying to sound as polite as possible. “You don’t know who I am.”

“I guess I was curious.” She shrugs, before laughing lightly as she says, “I used to think you weren’t real.”

“Huh?”

“She talks about you constantly. Never in front of Jungkook, of course. But she’s really fond of you, and you probably already know that doesn’t happen very often. She really does see you like a daughter. She made you sound too good to be true.”

You’re not sure how to respond to that. His mom still thinks about you, still talks about you after all this time. You’re just his ex-girlfriend, but she considers you her family. You don’t know what to do with this information nor the way it pinches your heart.

“I-” You purse your lips, fumbling with the responses in your head. You settle on a light laugh, because Sooji can probably tell that you’re struggling with the words too. “I have to be honest. I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know that you’re still very much loved here.” She gives you a kind smile, and it looks like she wants to tell you something else but decides against it in the end. Sooji’s eyes land somewhere behind you before she points in that general direction. “I have to go take care of an issue with the flowers, but look, Jungkook is here. Why don’t you ask him to show you around?”

And then she’s already off. Overall, what a… strange interaction.

You turn around to see Jungkook standing near one of the entrances to the house. As you watch him talk to someone - a bridesmaid, you assume, or just one of the other guests - you try not to think about the fact that there’s a stirring sensation in your stomach, and that it only intensifies when she throws her head back in a pretty laugh, a perfectly manicured hand landing on his arm like he’s the most charming person she’s ever met.

You don’t give it a name, don’t label it green in color even though you’re blue and he’s golden sunshine. You don’t acknowledge that it’s a feeling, because doing so would make it real and there are certain truths that you’d rather delude yourself into thinking are lies.

When Jungkook’s eyes catch yours and he cuts off the woman mid-sentence with a curt excuse me, you don’t acknowledge that feeling either, but it’s warm and it blooms in your chest as he makes his way to you. It’s something victorious, something that tickles your ribs.

He comes to you like you’re a destination he’s been waiting all his life to reach, and you certainly, adamantly don’t acknowledge the spectacularly dizzying feeling that swallows you whole when he places a gentle hand on your arm, his voice soft as he says, “There you are. I was looking for you.”

The familiarity, it’s catastrophic.

“I was just walking around,” you tell him. “There’s not a lot to do here. I was bored.”

“You have me,” he says. Probably not in that way, but you’d like to think that’s how he means it. “I don’t have any more fires to put out. What do you want to do now?”

You glance over your surroundings, still set on your original plans. You wanted to go alone, but you suppose you can let him accompany you. You check the time on your phone before asking, “Can we go down to the beach? I wanna see if we can catch the sunset.”

You used to do this whenever you came here to visit - walk along the beach, hand in hand, sunlight in your hair and the cool breeze holding you tight in the afterglow.

The keyword here is “used to”. Now, you have to stuff your hands in your pockets just so you don’t reach for him every time you shiver.

It’s late enough in the afternoon for you to see the moon faintly shine against a blue and orange backdrop. Sun and moon, together in the same frame. It feels symbolic somehow. You’re not really sure.

“The moon looks like an egg,” Jungkook observes astutely, taking casual strides next to you. It makes you burst into easy laughter, which makes him laugh with you too. You stop walking when you reach what you think is a good spot to watch the sky.

“Let’s sit here for a bit,” you say. It’s not the greatest idea - sitting idly by would only make you colder - but you just want to stop and look at the sunset. Once you’re seated in the sand, you respond to his moon remark, “That’s true, y’know. NASA said so.”

“Yeah,” he says, settling down beside you, “you made me read that.”

You’d forgotten about it, and you didn’t think that he’d remember. It’s freezing cold and the moon looks like an egg, but you’re not thinking, and you feel safe. Nothing can hurt you here, or at least that’s what you’d like to tell yourself.

You wrap your arms around yourself to keep from shivering, but you still shiver anyways.

“Are you cold?” he asks.

“A little,” you admit. “I should’ve worn a thicker sweater. But it’s o-”

He doesn’t let you finish the sentence, just smoothly takes off his jacket to put it around your shoulders.

You put your hands atop his to stop him. When you touch him, there’s an electric tingle that almost makes you flinch. He feels warm, still resembling a human furnace.

“No, you don’t have t-”

“Take the jacket, Y/N,” he says. “It’s just a jacket.”

The jacket smells like him. It only makes you want to crawl further into the warmth.

He seems more self-assured here, that’s what you notice. More like the version of himself that he used to be. Confident, sometimes borderline cocky. Annoying but oddly endearing, you came to love that about him.

His relaxed demeanor is understandable. You’re merely a visitor here, while this is his homeground.

“I’m curious about something,” he says after a while.

“Okay.”

“What’s the deal with Wednesdays?” he asks.

“You know how they say bad things come in threes?” You purse your lips, thinking it over, feeling something bitter in your mouth as you recall the events that led to this. “My parents got divorced on a Wednesday. I moved out of mom’s house on a Wednesday. And…” You hold your knees close to your chest as you hesitate to utter this last part, “we broke up on a Wednesday.”

You see the exact moment Jungkook mentally slaps himself, paling a couple shades as he tongues his cheek, not expecting his question to inadvertently lead back to this. It wasn’t your intention to guilt trip him. It was true that he dumped you on a Wednesday, but you don’t want the mood to turn sour, to have to mull over this again. Like he said, it will still be there for you to worry about when you get back. You’re not looking forward to returning to a shitshow, but what you’d hate even more is to tarnish the memories of this place just because you can’t keep from being vindictive for not even a weekend.

“I was born on a Wednesday too, so I guess bad things come in fours sometimes,” you continue, chuckling to yourself humorlessly.

A frown appears on his face almost instantaneously. “What is that supposed to mean?”

You shrug. Jungkook turns his body toward you, which makes you spare him a glance before you return your gaze to the horizon. His face is so serious that it’s almost funny. “Y/N,” he presses. “Why would you say that?”

“C’mon, it’s a joke. I was just being self-deprecating. Lighten up.”

“Why are you talking like that?”

“Like what? Contrary to popular belief, I don’t walk around with a thundercloud over my head all the time,” you laugh lightly. “I figured if there was a day to be nice to you, it should be today. And tomorrow, I guess.”

“This is you being nice?”

Funny how just a few weeks ago, you were fighting with him and calling him a hypocrite. Now, you’re sitting together, watching the sun set, trying not to be mean to him.

“I’m not picking a fight with you,” you say. “This is nice enough.”

“It’s not even my wedding.”

“Okay.” You glance at him again, letting words flow without a single thought. “I’ll be even nicer to you on your wedding day then.”

You don’t know where that even came from, but something aches the very second the words leave your mouth. The thought of him getting married one day makes you just nauseous, even though you always knew that it was a possibility. It might even be inevitable.

You clear your throat, waving the sullen feeling away. Your body shivers then, even after the added warmth of his jacket. Maybe you’re not shivering because of the cold anymore.

He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel his eyes linger on the side of your face. The both of you keep tiptoeing around an elephant that follows you wherever you go.

You hug your knees close to your chest, watching the blue sky melt into the golden horizon, splattered with ribbons of cotton candy clouds.

You want to scooch closer to him and have him wrap his arm around your shoulders. This isn’t the spot where you used to draw your names in the sand, enveloped in a giant heart like two lovesick kids, but wouldn’t it be nice to imagine that it is?

“I was always really happy here,” you mumble to yourself.

You were, truly. This city was your pocket of hope, your piece of peace.

Being here brings back so many memories.

It’s the same feeling you get every time you pass by somewhere you used to live. The nostalgia of walking down the same road you used to walk every day until your shoes wore out. The familiarity of your surroundings. The bittersweetness of looking into a past you cannot hold anymore, of remembering the person you were at a certain period in your life, of knowing the things you do now that you didn’t back then.

You long for things you cannot change.

Nostalgia only grows stronger with time, you can always count on that.

He hums in agreement, before admitting quietly, “I miss you.” One pulls, the other pushes. The water wavers, like it’s touched by his words, simple but earnest. You’re touched too, somewhere in your heart, where you know you should be writing someone else’s name now.

Should?

“You’re pushing it,” you say softly.

“I know.”

You look at him. Maybe it’s because you’re back in the city that holds only good memories of you two. Maybe you’re hypnotized by the way the pink and purple hues kiss his side profile, making him feel like a fever dream and not someone you loved. Maybe it’s the cold, making you yearn for any source of warmth. But instead of returning his sentiment, you say, “It’ll pass.”

He meets your eyes. There’s something pleading in his gaze. All things pass eventually. Time moves forward, people move on. Bad things will pass sooner or later. Your worst heartbreak, your most arduous trials, your saddest moments, they will all pass.

And good things… good things will have to pass too, whether you like it or not.

Your fingers twitch from where they’re still holding onto your body. You itch to reach for his hand. You don’t tell him what he wants to hear, even though here’s a part of you that wants to say it back. In a better world, you would be telling him I love you too, instead of having to suppress an I miss you too.

“All things have to pass eventually. This will too.”

[20:05] Taebear 🐻: we could go to that bar near the gallery. Y/N likes the cocktails there [20:06] Mimi 🐥: kay kay [20:06] Mimi 🐥: soooooo next friday? [20:09] Mimi 🐥: why is y/n reading our messages. shouldn’t she be at dinner [20:09] You: i approve of the bar choice [20:11] You: if you didn’t want me reading your messages, you shouldn’t have sent them to the gc [20:11] You: and if you must know, i’m skipping dinner. i’m avoiding Jungkook’s mom [20:12] Mimi 🐥: understandable. i figured you would do that [20:13] Mimi 🐥: how’s it going? are we regretting going yet? i told you to just stay home and we could binge watch the office together [20:15] You: and EYE told you that you could be a good friend and go to this wedding with me but nooooo baby doesn’t like the cold [20:16] You: you could’ve visited your parents while you’re here you know. two birds with one stone [20:18] Mimi 🐥: babes my parents stayed with me for a whole month last month. i reached my quota for family face time [20:19] You: son and friend of the year 👏 [20:20] Mimi 🐥: 😎😎😎😘

[20:22] Taebear 🐻: hey [20:23] You: uh oh. am i in trouble? why is this not in the gc? [20:25] Taebear 🐻: lol shut up [20:26] Taebear 🐻: you okay? [20:28] You: feels like that could’ve been a perfectly good question to ask in the gc [20:29] Taebear 🐻: because it’s a serious question and we both know Jimin can’t be serious for one minute to save his life [20:32] You: why does it have to be a serious question? 🤪 [20:32] Taebear 🐻: 😕 [20:33] You: stop pouting. i’m fine [20:35] Taebear 🐻: are you? [20:36] You: i am! you don’t have to go all mama bear on me [20:39] Taebear 🐻: ha ha ha. you’re so funny [20:40] Taebear 🐻: want me to call you? [20:42] You: i said i’m fiiiiiine 🙄 [20:43] You: but also no because i told everyone i was tired and i’m pretending to be asleep in my room right now [20:43] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:43] Taebear 🐻: did you eat something at least? [20:44] You: i have a cup ramen in my room [20:45] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:46] Taebear 🐻: how was today? did JK make you wanna strangle him? [20:48] You: okay Kim Taehyung at least act like you have some faith in your friend lol [20:50] You: but mmmmmm it was ok. he was mostly behaving himself [20:51] Taebear 🐻: mostly? [20:54] You: we were down at the beach and he just told me he missed me out of the blue [20:55] You: Mimi is asking why no one is replying to him [20:57] Taebear 🐻: i can see that [20:58] Taebear 🐻: what did you tell JK? [21:01] You: i quoted fleabag to him [21:09] Taebear 🐻: i had to google that [21:10] Taebear 🐻: i still don’t know what that means [21:11] You: i know you don’t lol. you’re adorable [21:11] You: i’ll tell you when i get back. [21:13] You: ok bye i have to sleep early or i’ll look like ass in the morning [21:14] Taebear 🐻: oh. okay [21:15] Taebear 🐻: sleep tight. remember not to gorge yourself on booze tomorrow [21:17] You: thanks for the reminder. love you mom 🙄💕 [21:17] Taebear 🐻: :) [21:20] Taebear 🐻: you won’t look like ass btw

You clocked out right after you told Taehyung that you would. It wasn’t a peaceful sleep though. The anxiety simmering in your belly woke you up a few times throughout the night. You don’t even know why you were anxious. It’s not like you were the one who was about to walk down the aisle.

When morning finally came and you managed to untangle yourself from the surprising comfort of your familiar bed, you practically dragged your feet for the subsequent two hours, trying to get ready. As if that would actually slow down the passage of time.

You had to compartmentalize the things you needed to do in a mental checklist. Makeup. Hair. Dress. Stare at yourself in the mirror for half an hour and internally freak out while waiting for Jungkook to come get you from your room.

Now you’re sitting in the wedding hall, watching people filter into the room. It’s not even a lot of people, but you’re still overwhelmed regardless.

You feel so exposed, even though he’s the only one looking at you in this room of strangers. He’s been looking at you like that ever since he first saw you this morning, in a dress that you got just days before the wedding. You still don’t know if it’s entirely appropriate for your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding - maybe a bit revealing - but it was the only one you could find on such short notice.

When you tried on the dress for Taehyung and Jimin a few days ago, Taehyung said you looked beautiful. Jimin said you looked decent, “six point five out of ten,” which translated to “pretty nice” in Jimin-lingo. That would’ve been enough if you were going to any other wedding, not one where Jungkook would also be attending.

You had wanted him to see you and regret ever leaving you.

It was a silly thought, just a tad adolescent.

You had wanted him to see you in your dress and be consumed with thoughts of you until he couldn’t even see straight. To be the only thing on his mind, you didn’t think it was a lot to ask for.

That was before he told you not to think about it and you’d been convinced to just go with the flow just for two days. It was before he actually did see you earlier today in your dress - a simple midnight blue satin cowl neck with a slit in the thigh - but you were the one rendered helpless and speechless. He had stared at you for a minute when he came to walk you down from your room, then he’d said, all breathless even though both of you were just standing there, “You’re beautiful.”

You’re beautiful, not You look beautiful.

You don’t know why, but you appreciated it.

It made your cheeks burn underneath your artificial rosy blush. Stupid, you thought to yourself when you two made your way to the main hall. Stupid for letting yourself get dizzy because of a single compliment from him.

You’re seated with his parents, which makes sense because you don’t know anybody here except for them. Well, maybe you know one of his cousins whose kid you and Jungkook used to babysit whenever their family was in the city, but you doubt that he even remembers you anymore.

When the ceremony begins, your heart instantly feels like it’s about to drop to the pit of your stomach.

You can’t lie to yourself. It stings.

It stings just sitting here next to his parents like a daughter-in-law, like a member of their family, watching his brother solidify his happy ending.

It stings that Jungkook is standing up there, looking as handsome as ever, but his eyes aren’t on the couple. They keep flickering to you no matter how much you try to pretend that they don’t.

It stings that even though you don’t think about marriage often - or maybe you just don’t allow yourself to - you can’t deny that the thought does cross your mind from time to time. Any time that you’d wander the corridors inside your head, you’d pass the doors that you keep unopened on purpose but there’s always that one door marked with a bright red X that you can never sidestep.

You watch Junghyun and Sooji with their teary smiles and shaky hands, shaky but happy. There’s a sudden clarity that this could’ve been you and him in another life. Forever is a lie, but you would’ve perjured yourself a thousand times for him. I do - you would’ve meant it.

You imagine yourself in Sooji’s place, and Jungkook, standing right on the other side, holding both your hands in his. A beautiful and radiant bride terrified of the altar. A dashing groom with a smile that could rival the sun and shoulders weighing heavier than he lets on.

It would’ve looked clumsy, but it could’ve been right.

You wonder if he’s wondering the same thing. Maybe he is. You hope he is.

When the ceremony ends with a kiss shared between the newlyweds, you wipe away the tears that well up in your eyes. The people around you do the same thing, but they’re doing it for the right reason, out of genuine joy for the happy couple. You don’t think you can say the same for yourself.

Some of the bridesmaids fawn over him. It’s reasonable, you suppose. One tends to do that in the presence of Jeon Jungkook.

You watch as they come up to him one by one to ask him to dance, watch as he politely declines until they’re all stalking away with similar pouts on their faces. You watch him until his eyes lock on you, sitting at a table near the back, nursing a glass of champagne.

He weaves himself with ease through the people making their way to the dance floor. When he’s in front of you, he holds out a hand.

“Dance with me?” he asks, his doe eyes working overtime to lure you in with their sparkles, though you’d rather stay here where you can easily go unnoticed until the night ends. “One song?”

“I don’t know how,” you say, even as you’re taking his hand and standing up.

“I showed you how, remember?”

“That was a long time ago.”

He squeezes you reassuringly. “Just follow my lead,” he says, walking the both of you to the floor. “C’mon.”

Once the music starts, your heels stomp on his feet at least three times before you start finding the beat to move along to. Muscle memory, or whatever, is bullshit. You remember absolutely nothing of what he showed you.

You’re grateful that the song is slow, because it makes it easier for you to follow the beat with your two left feet. He takes one of your hands in his, the other settling on the small of your back, guiding you to move in a steady rhythm.

You feel his mother’s eyes on the two of you, because she must be somewhere nearby, watching you like a hawk. You feel his gaze on your face while you keep yours on the knot of his tie, just trying to keep your composure and to not step on his feet with your heels.

The blur of white that you catch from the periphery of your vision makes you turn your head. Sooji and Junghyun are close by, swaying together slowly to the soft music, both of them glowing with happiness. She must sense your eyes on her, because she lifts her gaze up to meet yours. She smiles at the sight of you and Jungkook, and you smile back, because you don��t know how else to respond to that.

You don’t say it, but you do think it. Your fingers tighten around his hand ever so slightly.

Could that have been us?

If the answer is yes, then it would hurt.

If the answer is no, then it would hurt.

The point of your story is that it’s painful however you choose to look at it. There’s no other way to frame it. It’s just painful, because you’re never going to get any of it back.

You bite your lip, then turn away from the happy couple but you still don’t look at Jungkook. You look at your hand in his, and that’s when you see it.

“How’d you get that?” you ask, gently tracing the inch of slightly raised skin on his knuckles. You never noticed the scar until now.

“It was four years ago, I think? After Taehyung and I almost got into a fight, I went outside and… punched a wall,” he says, wincing as he recalls the memory.

His answer takes you aback. “You and Taehyung got into a fight?”

“Almost,” he corrects. “It was a long time ago. Didn’t they tell you?”

“No, they didn’t say anything. What happened?”

“Nothing happened.”

“If it was really nothing, you wouldn’t have punched a wall.” You frown. It makes you miss a few beats, but the song isn’t what’s important now, even if Jungkook is still trying to steer you back into the dance. “Taehyung isn’t violent. You aren’t violent.”

“I’m serious,” he says finally. “It’s nothing. We were just drunk and stupid.”

You know there must be more to it, that something must have happened or been said to trigger such a reaction from both of them. But you also know that you won’t probably get anything out of Jungkook if he doesn’t want to tell you.

You give up, for now. “Fine. If you say so.” You’ll just have to weasel it out of Jimin later.

The song comes to an end, before another one comes on. If Jungkook remembers that he only asked for one song, maybe he’s counting his blessings that you’re still here and dancing with him, because he doesn’t mention it.

For some reason, you pull your hand away from his, only to slide up his shoulder to lock both of your hands behind his neck. He seems surprised, but he does the same around your waist.

Jungkook’s gaze flickers to your lips briefly, then back to your eyes again. You find yourself doing the same and wonder what he tastes like after all the time you’ve been apart. Is he still as sweet as you remember? You used to tease that it was because of the excessive sugar he put in everything, but you knew it was really just him. The few inches between you are so inviting that it’s practically tempting you to close the gap. You could, easily in fact. Blame it on one too many glasses of champagne later if you want.

He looks younger like this, like the boy you loved, starry eyes and dimpled smile. His shoulders are always the most comfortable resting place, the crook of his neck your long lost home. This is nice, you think, to see him again even though it feels like a fever dream. Memories of your first date, your first kiss, come to life before your eyes so realistically that you could almost touch them.

Loved? That sounds funny to you.

The people you used to be, souls wrapped in innocence, when the world was nothing but the arms of the person you loved. You reach out, and the memories quickly fade from view. The only trace they leave behind is a speck of gold on your fingertips, a memento of charming naiveté for you to tuck neatly away in the corner of your mind, but also a reminder that ah, they only exist in the locket of your heart now. Because he has changed, and you think you must have too. Life, as they say, goes on.

“We made it. Kind of. That’s crazy,” you find yourself saying.

“Did we?”

“You don’t think so?” you chuckle. “We’re in a group chat with the Kim Seokjin who spams it with bad jokes on a daily basis. I’d call that a win.”

That makes him laugh. “If you put it like that, yeah, maybe. Sure.”

Other people might be fooled, but it doesn’t sound at all convincing to you. The light doesn’t really reach his eyes. You bite the inside of your cheek, thinking of how to translate the sudden poignant turn of the moment.

“It isn’t everything you hoped it’d be?” you ask.

His shoulders rise then fall quickly in a second-long shrug. “I thought it would make me feel more… fulfilled. But it doesn’t. Not really.”

The way he says it and the way he’s looking at you makes your heart dive. You understand what he means. You’re good at what you do, and you don’t need reassurance from anyone to recognize that. But sometimes, it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Doesn’t feel like it’s real, like it’s validated.

When you landed your first big project, even before Yoongi, you were so proud of yourself. You were bursting with excitement but you weren’t happy, and you knew what the reason was. Something was missing that couldn’t be filled, not even with all your friends’ hundreds of messages of encouragement.

It’s beyond stupid, this feeling like your wins amount to nothing at all just because of one person. You wanted him there to celebrate every achievement with you and he wasn’t, and the milestones seemed incomplete without the presence of him. It doesn’t feel like you’ve accomplished anything because this always used to be a dream you thought you’d make come true together.

“It’s lonely,” he concludes.

It sounds like he feels the same way, like he wanted you to be there too.

He suddenly holds you tighter than you think he needs to, like he’s afraid to let go of you. You imagine that he doesn’t want to let go of you, and it makes you feel better for a second. But it doesn’t change the fact that he still did in the end. And he will have to when this ends.

What was the point of this? Why did he bring this upon yourselves when he seems to be as hurt as you are? All of this time, all of these years, lost to what? You could’ve been happy together but instead, you were both lost and miserable.

When the music stops - you lost count of how many songs it’s been - you pull away from him. He looks disappointed, maybe even a little hurt for some reason.

“I’m gonna get some air,” you say, already turning away from him.

“Y/N-”

“I need some air.” Then you’re weaving through the dancing couples despite Jungkook calling your name. How did he manage it? How did he not look back when you called out for him?

You hastily grab your coat on the way out. It’s not going to keep you warm, but that’s not something you’re even remotely concerned with.

It’s everywhere, you feel it down to your bones.

The wind wraps itself tightly around you, intertwining in your hair, slipping through the cracks of your fingers, caressing your face in a chilling touch. You greet the cold like a long lost sister, shivering violently with nostalgia. It was there for you more than your own flesh and blood.

Is that why you like the sea at night? Because it reminds you of mom?

It’s dark out here, barely anything is visible except for a lighthouse sending out light in the quiet of the night. You can’t see much, but you can certainly hear it. You’re not sure if the music is coming from inside the venue, or if it’s still ringing in your ears. It’s probably the latter; you’re too far away to be able to catch the music anyway. But regardless, the tune is quickly drowned out by the sea.

The waves crash violently against the shore like it’s out for blood. There’s a magnetic pull, as if it’s calling out for you. You want to go to it, to reach out and feel the cold outside of your body for once, but you stay there despite your legs itching to stand up and run straight ahead. Into the water and down under.

You could lie down and close your eyes for a moment. The sound of the water, as sharp and brutal as it is, nurtures a part of you somehow.

You just want to be alone. You don’t want to talk to Taehyung, or Jimin, or even Yoongi.

Oh.

Yoongi.

It’s a terrible feeling, knowing that you’re going to hurt Yoongi. Knowing that you’re going to kill this even before it has a chance to truly begin.

Truth be told, you can’t envision a future with Yoongi. There isn’t anything wrong with him, because he’s not the problem here. Yoongi is fun, he’s considerate, he keeps things light on purpose for you, until you’re ready to initiate something more serious. He’s good for you, even Taehyung thinks so.

But you can’t love Yoongi, not in the way that he wants you to. Not more than you love Jungkook.

There you go. Ruining things again.

Did you ruin Jungkook? Is that what happened?

The layers on you are no match for the sea at night. The wind hisses relentlessly, biting at any part of your skin that’s exposed.

It takes you back to that night. Almost everything does, actually.

Maybe that’s why you never even stopped to consider starting anything with anyone, because it always ends. If there’s a beginning, then there will be an inevitable ending. Love isn’t made to last and you aren’t meant to carry love with you. You’ve been abandoned twice. If it happens a third time, it’s a pattern, and then your hypothesis will only be proven. That the problem here is you.

You’d be lying if you said you haven’t wondered when it’ll finally be Taehyung’s turn to leave. He eventually will, right? That one’s gonna hurt.

Then, you’re startled when someone calls your name.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks. The wind and the waves masked the sound of his footsteps walking up to you. When you turn around to face him, his eyes grow worried, almost panicked. “Why are you crying?”

You breathe out irritatedly before you hastily wipe at your cheeks. You didn’t even realize that you’d been crying. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine,” you say, though you both know it’s a lie. “I’m just tired. I’m going up to my room.”

He catches your wrist in a firm grip when you try to walk away. You wish he’d just leave you alone, but you knew he wouldn’t drop it just like that.

“I said I’m fine,” you insist.

“You were crying,” he says. “Did I do something wrong?”

He didn’t, at least not tonight.

God, you really don’t want to do this right now.

“Jungkook,” you warn. “Let go of me.”

You try to free yourself from his grip, hoping that he’ll get the hint and back off for now. Instead, he pulls you into his chest, where you struggle to escape from his hold until you realize your efforts are futile. He takes the wind’s place, wound tightly around you, so tightly that it’s nearly impossible for you to move.

You hiss out his name, but he doesn’t budge.

“Jungkook, can you just- Fuck!”

Damn him.

You realize he’s not giving up, which in turn makes you give up struggling, hoping that if you let this be a moment, then it’ll be something that can pass.

You’re just standing there, letting him hold you, letting yourself be held by the person who broke you in the first place. This feels exactly like where you’re supposed to be - in his arms, with your face hidden in the crook of his neck, his gentle fingers stroking your hair. There’s not a lot that you could do but lean into that feeling the same way you lean into him. One foot in the sand, one foot in the past. A hand on the doorknob of time, wondering if you should look back or look forward.

You want to be alone, but that never used to apply with him.

The wind stills, the sea calms. You remain unmoving too, locked in his embrace. You feel the faint rhythm of his heart, beating faster than you think it should. If you could, you would bottle this moment up and live there forever.

I miss you, you think.

I miss you.

Then your arms are around him too. It only makes him hold you tighter, and all you can think about is how much you miss him, how painful it is to miss him, how you feel like you’re being pulled apart at the seams from the weight of missing him.

Fuck.

Can you pretend that the last few years never happened? Is there a higher power that would allow you to go back to the night before that wretched Wednesday, when everything was still perfect? Hundreds of days of your life, can you pretend that it was just one long nightmare? When you wake up, you’ll be back in his humble apartment, tangled up together in his bed. Warm sunlight, your silken youth, and him. It was all you ever needed.

Again with the devastating familiarity. The city, the beach. His mother’s warmth that always made you reminisce about your own mother’s coldness. How Jungkook used to find you in moments like this and just stayed by your side until the dejection passed. He understood that he could never understand it the way you did.

You hear yourself sniffle, then you feel him press a kiss into your hair. Home is comforting.

Oh, you never want to leave.

You don’t want to leave, and that’s terrifying.

You allow yourself to stay there for one more second - one endless second - so you could commit to memory what it’s like to be with him. Back and forth. It’s always so easy to fall into him.

Jungkook releases you when he feels you loosen after a while, and you reluctantly meet his eyes as he tilts your head to face him. His fingers cradling your jaw, how warm and delicate they feel on your skin.

You swallow thickly, your mind going blank. He’s the only person you see, the only one that matters. His eyes flicker south, and even then you don’t make any move to run away, despite his loose grip on your waist telling you that you can if you want to.

You told him that it would pass, and maybe for him, it will. For him, it’s the city and the moment, making him feel like he’s caught up in a page that he’s turned over a long time ago. He was fine with leaving, and he’s been fine without you. It will pass for him, as much as it hurts you to admit it.

But not for you. For you, there’s only him. There’s nobody else but him. It’s always been him, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself that there will be another person you can love as much as you love Jungkook. You might only be a page, perhaps even a chapter, in the story of his life, but he’s your entire book. He’s volume after volume after volume, until he takes up the whole shelf and leaves no room for anything else, not even for yourself.

And now here he is - at the biggest turn in your career.

He’s a bad blood cell you can’t ever get rid of.

You’ll never be able to truly let go of him. How could you? When you truly love someone, those feelings will carry on forever. They’ll always have a piece of your heart despite an ending. When you look back on a certain period in your life, you’ll think to yourself, You’ll always be a part of me. I loved you then.

But Jungkook is a force of nature. He has your whole heart.

Years and years from now, when you look back on your life, you know you’ll see him everywhere. Even when you’re old and gray, and when faces all just blur together in a mosaic of broken memories and long lost youth, you know you’ll still remember him - the person you loved, the one whom you let slip through your fingers. The great love of your life when you were young.

Sometimes, you regret that day. You can’t help feeling like it was your fault too. Maybe you should’ve tried harder to keep him. You should’ve fought harder, should’ve held onto him instead of standing there and watching him leave.

He lit the match, and you let the house burn. It takes two to tango, two to break a heart.

You’re quick to let people leave. Oh, how you wish it could be that easy to let them go too.

It isn’t until your eyes mimic the flicker of his gaze that he leans in. You meet him halfway. For the first time in years, you feel like you could breathe, truly breathe. It’s achingly slow, like neither of you can believe that this is happening.

You sigh against his mouth when his tongue brushes your bottom lip, slips past the seal to devour you. It feels like a perfect dream. You could stay in this bubble with him forever, pretend that you’re the only two people who exist in the world and there’s nothing else, no one else, waiting for you in a city that seems so far away right now. The thought of him never left you, not even for a second. He’s always been with you everywhere you go, no matter what you do, always in the back of your mind.

He tastes like your youth, like remembrance. He kisses you like he’s still yours when deep down you know that you’re still his. The hand on your jaw is gentle but firm, and it makes you repeat a thought, I miss you.

Then a feeling, I love you.

Not then. Now.

I love you now.

I love you even when I shouldn’t. Even when it hurts. Even when you leave me. Even when you don’t love me more than I love you. If there comes a day where you love somebody else, I will still love you then. There will never be another person for me but you. My first and only love.

When he pulls away, you think it’s too quick, even though your lungs are grateful for the breath that you instantly inhale. You stare at his lips like you’re in a daze, mesmerized, wanting to chase them again. You don’t even know how you have it in yourself to utter these next words, but you hear your own voice saying them anyway.

You’re holding onto him now. Doesn’t that count?

“Let’s…” Your fingers tighten on the collar of his dress shirt. “Let’s go up to your room.”

note (2): so... what do we think?? will they?? won't they?? 😵 stay tuned for obs7.5 which will be dropping 29.09.2023! also i'm gonna pause obs muse asks for a little bit! 😬

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daisynik7 · 7 months

Note

“Drank In My Cup” by Kirko Bangz for Connie Springer- Comfort + Smut

The lyrics: “Girl I know how much you really want somebody, want somebody that don't really need you” and “That ain't tryin' to love you baby, just fuck you instead” if that’s okay <3

Drank In My Cup

Girl I know how much you really want somebody, want somebody that don't really need you

Pairing: Connie Springer x f!reader

Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Word Count: ~2.1k

cw: friends-to-lovers trope, implied unrequited love, smut - blowjob, cunnilingus, vaginal sex (missionary), creampie, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, pet names.

Summary: Connie has been in love with you since college when you were living next door to each other in the dorms. He’s consoled you through countless of breakups and heard you in all your casual hookups. It hasn’t been easy for him and after graduation, he decides to move overseas in an attempt to get over you, cutting off all contact without explanation. Three years of radio silence later and the two of you finally reunite.

Author’s Notes: Inspired by one of AugustInTheWinter’s Patreon exclusive audios. Honestly, so so good, if you have the ability to do so, subscribe to him, it is so worth the money. Anyways, thanks for this request for the y2k karaoke party! I love this song. Enjoy!

If you told Connie Springer five years ago that you wanted to spend the night, he would have agreed, no question. Today, as he anticipates your arrival, he almost regrets saying yes.

A week ago, you contacted him, asking if you could stay at his place for the weekend while you’re here visiting. He checks the last text you sent him; it was five months ago, wishing him happy birthday. The one before that was exactly a year earlier, another birthday greeting. Your messages were more frequent then, but they gradually faded, probably because Connie never replied to any of them.

He's not trying to be a dick. He’s just too much of a coward to admit that he’s doing his best to get over you. And if that means ignoring you completely, so be it. At what cost, though? Losing his best friend?

This time, he actually does respond to you. Maybe it’s because after three years of being apart, he finally feels ready to face you again. Tonight will be the test. Is this really the best idea for him?

You knock on his front door, weekender bag in hand, heart beating faster, excited to see him. The last time was graduation when he told you that he’d be moving away to Marley for his new job. He didn’t even tell you that he was applying to companies overseas, so of course, you were shocked. Your friendship hasn’t been the same since. You used to be inseparable; now, you’ve never felt further apart.

He greets you politely when he answers the door, that familiar face instantly putting you at ease, despite the distance that’s grown between you. “Hey.”

“Hi, stranger,” you say, hugging him with your free arm. He’s tense when you touch him, not like his usual self. That’s one thing you always loved about Connie; how snugly he would hold you in his arms. It’s already awkward, but you continue to smile at him, hoping that whatever this tension is dissipates soon.

He leads you inside, taking your bag, setting it on the floor by one of the closed rooms. “Do you want a drink?”

“What do you have?” you ask, looking around his apartment, trying to find any remnants of your friendship. Pictures, ticket stubs from all the movies you watched together, all the little trinkets you’d get him as gifts for his birthdays. Nothing, there’s nothing in here. It barely looks decorated at all, except for a few posters he’s crookedly hung up.

“I’ve got water and some White Claws that have been festering in there since I moved here. Pick your poison.”

You laugh, happy to hear this side of him. “I’ll take the water, thanks.” You sit down on the couch, not sure where to start. “How have you been?”

He grabs a clean glass, turning the faucet on until your cup is almost filled to the brim. He carefully hands it to you, sitting as far away from you on the couch as possible. You shift in your seat, facing him, waiting for his answer. “Good. I’m good,” he says, avoiding your gaze, staring at the floor instead.

You take a sip of water, expecting him to elaborate more, but he doesn’t. “Do you like living here? In Marley?”

He shrugs. “It’s okay. There’s not that much more going on here than there is in Paradis.”

“Do you think you’ll ever move back home?”

He crosses his arms over his chest, guarded. “I don’t have any reason to, so probably not.”

“Well, I can think of one reason,” you say. “I miss you.”

His jaw clenches, defenses still up. You scoot closer, wanting this distance to disappear, physically and figuratively. You’ve been waiting for this reunion since he left, since he stopped contacting you almost completely. Wanting to finally make it right with him, the way it should have been ever since you first became close to him in college. You knew he liked you; he was always so obvious about it. And yes, deep down, you liked him too. But you were scared of ruining your friendship, of losing your best friend. You were so used to all your relationships ending in a breakup, you were afraid to cross that line with Connie in fear of losing him forever. When you finally mustered the courage to confess to him on the night of graduation, he told you he’d be moving to Marley for work. Because of your cowardice, you ended losing him anyways. But you won’t let tonight go to waste. You’ll do everything you can to salvage this. Even after all these years of distance between you, you won’t make the same mistakes again.

You close the gap, squeezing next to him on the couch. He glares at you. “What are you doing?”

“I miss you, Connie,” you whine, trying to free his arms from his chest. “Don’t you miss me?”

He shakes his head, relaxing only the slightest bit. “No, I don’t. I’ve worked too hard trying not miss you.”

“What do you mean?”

He finally looks at you, his gaze intense. “I moved because of you. I couldn’t take it anymore, watching you fall in love with every other guy except for me.”

“Connie.”

He unclenches, leaning towards you, face so close you can feel his breath on you as he speaks. “Do you know how hard it was for me? To hear you on the other side of the wall, moaning someone else’s name? And then months later, you’d come crying to me, wanting only my comfort to help you through your breakup. Then the cycle would just repeat over and over, driving me fucking insane because I could never have you for myself. I could only have you when you needed me, when you were heartbroken. Well, it wasn’t fucking fair okay? That’s why I left. I just couldn’t do it anymore.”

You stare back at him, wide-eyed, heart thumping loudly in your chest. Quietly, you say, “I’m sorry, Connie. I…I didn’t know.”

He scoffs at you, rolling his eyes. “Don’t lie to me. Why else would you come to me? You knew I was the only guy stupid enough to always say yes to you. So don’t fucking lie to me now and say that you didn’t know. You knew.”

You swallow hard before asking, “Why didn’t you say something?”

“Why would I? So I can get rejected and ruin our friendship? No. As much as I hated hearing you get fucked on the other side of the wall, I couldn’t stand not having you at all. Pretty fucked up, right?”

You remain still in your seat, unsure how to proceed from this. Eventually, he says, “You can stay here for the weekend, but I think it’s best if we just stop seeing each other after this, okay? It’s better for the both of us if we stop being friends.”

Before he can stand up to leave, you grab his wrist. “Well, good,” you whisper. “I don’t want to be friends anymore either.” You meet his lips with yours for a kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. He melts into you, his tongue slipping inside your mouth, easing into it. Realizing what’s happening, he pushes you off gently, stuttering, “What do you think you’re doing?”

You trail down his neck, sucking on his skin to leave love marks. “What I should have years ago.”

“You’re toying with me,” he whispers, closing his eyes, tipping your chin up to kiss you again. “Teasing me like you did all those times in college.”

“I’m not. I want it. I want you.” You lie back on the couch, spreading your legs for him.

He crawls on top of you, sliding your pants and underwear off simultaneously, dropping them to the floor, salivating at the sight of your glistening cunt, wet with arousal. “Well, too bad. I don’t need you anymore. You won’t get what you want so easily this time. Not after all the torment you put me through. You need a taste of your own medicine first.” He shoves his sweats down, releasing his hard cock from his boxers, stroking it in his fist. With a shaky breath, he whispers, “Come on. Show me how badly you want it.”

You peer up at him, getting on all fours, opening your mouth with your tongue sticking out. He smirks, tracing the outline of your lips with the tip of his dick, smearing his precum on you like gloss. “Fuck, never thought I’d see you like this.” He guides himself inside you, exhaling deeply as he slides all the way to the back of your throat, cursing once more. You give him what he wants, never taking your gaze off him, guzzling down his cock with each thrust he gives you, bobbing your head along his shaft.

“Damn, you feel even better than I imagined,” he moans, bucking his hips. After a couple more deep thrusts, you pull off quickly to catch your breath, wiping away the saliva leaking from your lips. “Hey, are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asks in that concerned tone you love so much. He sounds exactly like he did in college, when he would cradle you gently in his arms as you cried about your latest heartbreak, completely oblivious to how much pain it caused him to see you like this. Connie would never break your heart; it took you too long to finally realize this. And maybe it’s too late to fix the damage that’s been done. But that doesn’t mean you won’t try.

You nod silently, reaching for the coffee table to take a sip of water. He wipes the tears from your eyes, brushing them away with his thumbs. “Are you sure?”

You smile at him, sniffling. “I’m sure, Connie.”

His expression is uncertain again. He doesn’t know whether to stay mad at you or be sweet. He’s always been sweet, and that obviously never worked out for him. If he shows you his mean side, will you stay? Does he even want you to stay?

You surround him again with your mouth, sucking on his cock head with your fist wrapped around his shaft. He closes his eyes, indulging in the pleasure, enjoying it a little too much. He won’t deny it; this has been one of his biggest fantasies since college, to see you like this. To feel you moan around his cock. And as much as he wants to continue spitting hurtful comments to you, make you feel guilty for toying with him all this time, his need to pleasure you overtakes him. His most precious fantasy is to finally hear you moan his name, and no one else’s.

He pulls out of you, jerking off while he tips your chin up to face him. “What do you want, huh? Want my mouth on you? Want me to eat out this pretty pussy? Is that what you want? Because I’ll give it to you, if you let me.” He’s desperate for it now, and so are you. So all you do is nod with your mouth still open, needy for it.

He eats you out sloppily, better than any guy you’ve been with. This is what he wanted, to prove to you that it should have been him all those times. And you regret it, all the useless hookups and casual relationships you put yourself through when you could have been with Connie instead. You come twice from his mouth before you start begging him to fuck you. “Please, baby.”

His eyes widen at the pet name, cock throbbing, ready to burst. “Okay, sweetie,” he huffs, composure wavering. “I’ll fuck you. I’ll give you what you want. I’m always giving you what you want.”

You hold him tightly, moaning his name while he fucks you with your legs wrapped around him. “You’re so good for me, baby. So fucking good for me,” he groans, drilling into you hard and fast. “I missed you so fucking much.” He orgasms with you, unloading his cum inside you, filling you up. You kiss passionately as the both of you come down from your highs, relaxing into each other’s arms.

It’s silent for a moment before you say, “I was going to tell you. On graduation day.”

“Tell me what?” he asks, grazing your lips with his fingers.

“That I liked you, too. And I wanted us to be together.”

He sighs. “But I told you I was moving, so you didn’t go through with it.”

“Yeah.”

He laughs softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Damn, we are really dumb, aren’t we?”

You giggle, nestling your face into his chest, relishing the familiar warmth. “Yeah, we are.”

He rests his chin on the top of your head, massaging your back. “So, should we stop being dumb and finally do this? The right way?”

You nod, smiling. “Yes. Absolutely yes.”

#connie springer #connie springer smut #connie springer x reader #connie springer x you #connie x you #connie x reader smut #connie x reader #connie springer x y/n #connie smut #aot x reader #aot fanfiction #aot smut #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan smut #attack on titan connie #y2k karaoke party #milestone event

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hard-core-super-star · 9 months

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get her back! [H.Steinfeld]

pairing: hailee steinfeld x reader

summary: you and hailee try to get your relationship back on track while shooting the sunkissing music video. it’s easier said than done though, especially since the line between love and hate blurs more and more every day.

warnings: still a chaotic mix of angst and fluff; stubborn idiots finally admit their feelings but keep arguing because it's easier than figuring out how to make things work; mentions of crappy PR stunts; R being lowkey petty + hailee being absolutely clueless why; some metaphors get repetitive but it's part of the plot, i promise

wordcount: 1.6k

a/n: this is part two to one step forward, three steps back. slightly inspired by both get him back! and logical by olivia rodrigo because guts has taken over my life in the best of ways. thank you for all the love and the requests for a part two, i see you and i am eternally grateful to all of you. i love writing about these stubborn idiots and i can only hope you enjoy reading about them just as much <3

* * * * * * *

Working with Hailee and being in love with her are two very different things that should definitely not mix. Not just because it’s incredibly unprofessional but also because it’s way too easy to pretend like you’re mad at each other because of the work you’re doing and not the messy way you’re handling being back in each other’s lives.

It’s immature and stupid and somehow not surprising at all considering the way you two act around each other. You both know what you want and yet neither of you wants to be the first one to take that leap. Which just leaves you with moments like these.

“You know what your problem is?” Hailee asks, her eyes narrowed and filled with a certain fire you can’t quite explain.

You’ve been on set for the SunKissing music video for about an hour and you’re both already at each other’s throats. The entire week has been filled with random arguments, borderline ridiculous complaints, and total radio silence on Hailee’s part about your relationship. Radio silence that should make working with her easier just like all the times before.

Instead, it’s just become the newest reason for you to push her away again. And okay, maybe you’re still pissed about the countless articles you’ve had to read about a supposed ‘love triangle’ because, for some reason, Hailee’s PR team insists on keeping the QB story running. Everyone knows it’s faker than the brunette’s heterosexuality and yet you’re still here.

Fighting for her attention like always.

You force yourself to push those thoughts away and focus back on the conversation at hand.

“You."

“No. You don’t know how to let yourself be happy.” It suddenly dawns on you that you’re not arguing about the music video choreography anymore. “You can take it out on me and on the job and on whatever else you want to make yourself feel better but don’t act like everything's always my fault. You’re the one who said you’d give me a chance and yet you’ve spent the entire week looking for reasons to push me away.”

She's right.

You both know that.

Of course, she's right. Because at the very top of the list of reasons why Hailee Steinfeld is the most infuriating person you've ever met is the fact that she knows you.

She understands you in ways you never thought anyone would. And it's just as terrifying as it is wonderful.

It's exactly that mix of feelings that makes you react in the only way you know how.

You lash out at her despite the voice in your head that tells you to suck it up and apologize before you take things too far. “So, if it’s not your fault then whose is it? I’m not the one ignoring your existence the second you leave or letting people write articles based on ridiculous lies.”

She groans, the sound so out-of-character for her it almost makes you forget about your complaints. Almost but not quite.

“Putting up with stupid rumors is part of the job, y/n. It’s nothing new so why does it bother you so much?”

The question is valid. Or at least it would be if you hadn’t made your feelings explicitly clear the day you agreed to help her with the music video. You’ve worked with her for years, most of which have been spent straddling the line between friendship and relationship, but this time was supposed to be different.

In a way it was different. You couldn’t deny how you felt about Hailee anymore and you couldn’t act like it didn’t bother you how clueless she was still acting about it.

You swallow back your cutting remarks and instead mumble out the only thing you can think of. “You know why.”

She stares at you for a few seconds, her eyes seem to almost look through you as if she's trying to figure you out. You don’t know what she’s looking for since your feelings aren’t exactly a secret anymore.

The silence lasts a second too long and you decide to walk away before you make things worse. It’s a move you learned from the brunette herself and one that’s driven you down this dead-end road you can’t seem to escape from.

For a second it seems like she’s going to let you go without a fight but then you feel her grip your wrist. Her hold on you is surprisingly soft like she’s wordlessly begging you to stay despite how much better it would be for both of you if you just walked away now.

Unfortunately for the logical part of your brain, you’re never able to say no to those stupidly soft hands and ridiculously warm eyes.

You turn around to face her again, trying to act like the close proximity isn’t making your mind swim with bad ideas. You’re definitely the worst actress out of the two of you but at least the brunette doesn’t comment on it.

“You’re a jerk,” you whisper, your voice lacking the usual bite it carries when you’re trying to piss Hailee off.

“I literally haven’t said anything yet.” The subtle smile on her face makes your heart skip multiple beats in the span of a few seconds.

You wait a bit before you respond, distracting yourself by shrugging her hand off your wrist so you can hold onto it instead. Hailee doesn’t rush you, seemingly understanding the storm of feelings in your head better than you do.

“I know.” You tilt your head down to avoid those brown eyes you fell for all those years ago. “That’s the problem. All you have to do is look at me and I forget all the reasons why I’m mad at you…why dating you would never work.”

“I don’t think your feelings for me are the problem, y/n.”

You’re well aware of the way she’s redirecting the conversation back to the dumb argument you were having mere moments ago but you don’t fight against it. All you want is answers and if it takes you tearing down your walls for her so be it.

“Why? Because I’m the problem?”

“No.” Her voice is so quiet you have to force yourself to fully focus or risk missing out on her vulnerability. “It’s because I messed up so badly that you feel like you can’t trust me again.”

She’s right.

Again.

You wish you could say you were surprised.

Your silence speaks volumes, at least to her, and it’s not long before you feel her free hand nudging your face. You lean into her touch and let her tilt your head up until your eyes meet again. You don’t want to ruin the moment but the need to be witty outweighs your need for honesty. “Is this supposed to be an apology?”

The question earns you a chuckle and the sound is more than enough to ease some of the tension that’s gathered inside of your chest. “Something like that.”

She leans forward the slightest bit, giving you the chance to put space between the two of you if you want. You appreciate the gesture, and all the sweet parts of her it represents, but you’re tired of running. Tired of tiptoeing around a truth so obvious it’s painful to deny.

You lean in the rest of the way and gently press your lips against her.

It’s not exactly fear that holds you back. You’re trying to show her you want more than the fleeting moments of passion and the heated arguments. You want the real thing. Even if it means you’ll get hurt even worse in the process. Anything is better than the months you’ve spent ignoring her existence.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles against your lips. “I’m an idiot and an asshole but I really, really, want to be with you. For real this time.”

You lean back just enough to properly look into her eyes again. “Hailee-”

“I know, I know.” She silences your worries with another sweet kiss. “I thought it would be easier if we took our time with this but it was just an excuse. I don’t think I know how to be with you if we’re not arguing about something stupid all the time.”

“That’s because you’re immature,” you reply with the tiniest of smirks on your face. “And an idiot. And annoying in all the best ways.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

This time you're the one who laughs. It's insane how quickly you can go from total sincerity to playful jabs at each other. If you're being honest though, that's exactly why you love her. Because neither of you has to hold back around the other, even when it's infuriating.

“It’s supposed to be me telling you I’m okay with taking things at your pace. As long as you stop acting like we’re just friends.”

“You don’t want to be my friend? I’m heartbroken, baby.”

“I’m going to leave if you don’t stop.”

“Okay, okay. I’m kidding. But what do you want to be? Just so we’re on the same page ‘cause-”

You roll your eyes and shut her up with your lips. You have a feeling that’s exactly what she wanted you to do but you’re not about to complain. Especially when it results in her wrapping her arms around you and pulling you close.

You don't have all the answers you wanted, and there's still a lot the two of you have to figure out, but one thing is obvious. You're in this together. No matter how much you annoy the other or how scary it is to be completely honest after years of lies.

She's with you. For real, for real.

#hailee steinfeld x reader #hailee steinfeld x female reader #hailee steinfeld x you #hailee steinfeld x y/n #hailee steinfeld fic #hailee steinfeld fluff #hailee steinfeld imagine #hailee steinfeld fanfiction #hailee steinfeld #hawkeye #mcu #mcu fanfiction #marvel #wlw #wlw fic #writing #if you made it this far: stream guts by olivia rodrigo

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mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess · 6 months

Text

Abyss

Behold the fruit of my hard work and dedication - a 4500 word MDZS Subnautica AU (part 1)! And when you think I barely knew what that was a month or so ago - character development!

Special thanks to @sasukimimochi for not only giving me alien fish brain worms in general but also for this prompt and all the feedback that's helped me improve this ficlet! This wouldn't have been possible without you!

This will probably not make very much sense without context, but I tried my best to write it in a pretty simple way so that it can be enjoyed on its own even so. The focus is more on feeling anyway!

Enjoy and see you in part 2 <3

There had never been anything more unnerving to Wei Wuxian than silence where there had always been noise, the suffocating feeling of nothing where there had always been something. And that place, that planet, had not been quiet. There had always been sound – the creatures, the currents, the mechanical whirrs of technology, the radio transmissions of people long gone, the data bank entries.

The voice of a loved one, the reassurance that they were still alive because you could see their vitals beep mechanically across a screen, endless. The promise of return, the confirmation that they were with you still.

All of that had been replaced with silence – and Wei Wuxian felt it crawl into his body like winding, lead vines, his hands going numb with anxiety as his heart rate picked up to the point of a health alert beeping incessantly into his ears. It was as though the entire world had stopped, quieted down as if in waiting, like an eager audience focused on the climax of a theater play. What was going to happen next? What would the grand reveal be, the aftermath of what had been before?

Because, before that terrible, painful silence, there had been deafening noise – screaming, growling, the sickening sound of equipment being torn into by something beyond the capabilities of human imagination. He heard it – all of it, through the communication system, and could do nothing but that. Hear. Fourteen hundred meters below sea level, four hundred beyond the capacity of his Seamoth, his beloved was fighting for his life against a relentless, wrathful monster.

And he was powerless to help. If he had tried going down, the pressure would have caved the entire ship into itself, so even if Lan Wangji did survive, there would be nowhere – and nobody – left for him to return to.

And they had made a promise, when they found themselves stranded in this hell world – that they wouldn’t both die here. That, no matter what happened, no matter what they encountered, one of them would come back home alive and stay alive – because there was someone waiting for them at home, in a corner of their galaxy they hadn’t seen ever since they’d passed through the phasegate leading them here. And they had made a promise to that little, crying face, that they would return.

And so, no matter how much his instincts screamed at him to do something, anything, come up with a plan, how can you stay idle while your husband is dying?! – Wei Wuxian did nothing but listen to the fierce fight, motionless in place, shaking, eyes squeezed shut like he was waiting for a powerful blow to hit him the same way it would hit Lan Wangji.

And then, it was over. The sounds stopped altogether, replaced with that same nothingness that Wei Wuxian had always been so desperate to fill, with music and conversation and even just the tiniest hums and responses from his beloved.

But he could do none of those things then - all that he was left to do was, yet again, to listen. Listen for the communication system to crackle to life, and for Lan Wangji to tell him that he was alive, that the creature had been defeated or at least ran off – but Sea Dragons were nothing if not vicious. And despite the prowess of the prawn suit, it had never claimed to be indestructible. If anything, Wei Wuxian was quite certain he had heard it being destroyed before the transmission cut off.

What could he even do now? He did not have enough supplies to build a second prawn suit, not on such short notice, to try to – to reach that facility as well. The only reason they’d even gone there was an attempt to find a cure for the bacterium they’d both been infected with, to try to stay alive in this wretched place until they could get out – but of course, nothing could ever come easy in a place like this.

And he doubted he could deal with the knowledge that he had lost his husband – or, should there be any left, the remains of – of the suit and the - !

His vision became blurry as he stared ahead at the ship’s controls, useless. His fists clenched, hard, and he felt his wedding band bite against his skin with the strength of his grip. Would that symbol of love and devotion now become a relic? A bitter reminder of the person he lost because he couldn’t do anything but listen to him die?

How could he allow all this to happen? Why did he not think of something, anything to prevent this? He should have never let Lan Wangji go down there, he should have –

…ei…ng – Wei Ying!

Wei Wuxian’s head snapped up, as if to search for the source of the sound. Was his mind playing tricks on him? Was this just some other creature attempting to prey on him and use some form of telepathy to get him vulnerable?

Wei Ying, do you copy?

A tremor shook violently through Wei Wuxian’s body, the last of his tears flowing down his face. That was not a trick, it couldn’t have been. No matter how powerful, the creatures on that planet could not replicate Lan Wangji’s voice so well. No, that was his husband, loud and clear – and yet, “Lan Zhan…? You’re… you’re alive?”

I am here. I managed to evade the Sea Dragon Leviathan by taking cover inside the facility.

Relief flooded Wei Wuxian’s system to the point of it being nearly overwhelming, a fresh wave of tears invading his vision. His husband was there, he was still alive, conscious and his, there was still hope that they would, somehow, reunite and perhaps even leave this terrible place.

However, the prawn suit is beyond repair. I am going to have to manage on my own.

The relief had been short lived, though, as the magnitude of the situation befell Wei Wuxian again. Lan Wangji was not only alone in a strange, alien facility, but he was also largely defenseless. Whatever awaited him there… he would have no chance to survive against it.

But returning to the base, or even swimming upwards towards the Seamoth, was not viable either – for all it was worth, the alien facility was far safer than the open waters, where it was no guarantee other hostile creatures would not attack. In fact, it was more of a guarantee that Lan Wangji would die if he left the building than if he stayed inside of it.

Wei Wuxian could tell he was spiraling, and losing his head to overthinking and panic would help nobody - what he needed to be was calm, collected and rational. He would allow his emotions to take over once Lan Wangji was in his arms once more, safe and unscathed.

So, Wei Wuxian took in a deep breath to steel himself and focus on the certainties of the moment. One, his husband was alive. And two, he needed to help him stay alive until they found a way to get him out of there. Two possibilities emerged: either Lan Wangji would be able to find a safe exit, or Wei Wuxian would come up with a way to go down there and retrieve him - of course, without compromising any of their vehicles.

Considering the fact that he did not currently have the equipment to go down to the facility and retrieve Lan Wangji himself, the latter option would not be viable - so all that was left was for Lan Wangji to find a safe passage away from the facility.

As tedious as that could be, though, the alien buildings were rarely death traps – their previous inhabitants needed a means to get in and out, after all. The only question was, how did they manage to do that in a building 1400 meters below sea level, surrounded by an active lava lake and aggressive predators looming so closely?

“How’s your inventory?”

I’ve emptied out some of the storage unit of the prawn suit and still have the supplies I need. I’ve used up one of my tablets to deactivate the force field.

“Vitals?”

Optimal. I’m alright, Wei Ying.

“Okay.” A deep breath, and hands that kept clenching and unclenching to regain feeling. “Tell me what you see.”

For now, there is nothing but –

A loud, mechanical sound came through, and Wei Wuxian could hear the other gasp, startled. He felt his body tense up, heart hammering suddenly against his ribcage.

“Lan Zhan?”

The facility powered on. It was sudden.

Wei Wuxian let out a breath, trying to relax away the tension in his muscles. “Okay. Is it clear?”

Seems so. There’s… something here.

There is a pause as Lan Wangji scans the structure. Wei Wuxian feels his palms sweat as he decides to maneuver the Seamoth to the base and try to think of building something to help in the meanwhile.

According to the databank, it’s an ion fabricator. It creates ion deposits that can be then mined for cubes.

Wei Wuxian sighed, both frustrated and disappointed. “But the prawn is ruined, so we can’t use it.”

Mn… A pause, before Lan Wangji continued, There are also various artifacts here, I can scan them for you if you want. While I try to find an exit.

Wei Wuxian found himself smiling slightly, “You know I can’t resist recording some of this really cool alien data. Perhaps it will be worth something when we get back home, and I’ll finally get funding for my research lab.”

Lan Wangji’s tone softened ever so slightly.

I will do my best to gather as much information as I can. There are seven entrances I can access freely, and I believe this facility’s main purpose is exactly that, research.

The situation must have definitely worn down on him as well, despite his attempts to downplay it – and now it was the first time since he’d so very narrowly escaped death that he could think of something else but survival. He found himself wishing Wei Ying was there to marvel at the alien architecture and technology and make that place a little less terrifying, a little less treacherous.

“I’m trying to come up with something to help you, maybe there’s something I can build using our storage…”

No time for that.

“Lan Zhan-”

Have any of our sea creatures hatched yet?

Wei Wuxian sighed, deciding to give in to the deflection. He would try to find a solution regardless, but he supposed it was better for Lan Wangji not to have to worry about him as well. With all his inventiveness and prowess, even Wei Wuxian himself could admit that he could be reckless sometimes - especially when his beloved’s life was at stake.

So, Wei Wuxian’s eyes flitted towards the aquarium, in search of new little creatures. He had not even thought to look at it, overcome with dread and anxiety - however, the eggs sat motionless in the sand, no sign of any ready to leave their encasing.

“Not yet. I think they’re waiting for you.” Wei Wuxian’s voice shook slightly, feeling the other’s absence now more than ever, “Don’t let me be a single parent, alright?”

I will come back to you.

Wei Wuxian opened his and Lan Wangji’s shared data bank just so he would have something to do - something other than be afraid - and, for a moment, he became distracted with what his husband had recorded for him.

“All of this… so many species, they were so thorough…”

I believe we’ve encountered most of these, except for the Sea Emperor Leviathan. There's a preserved fetus here that the researchers appear to have been unable to utilize.

“They were looking for the Enzyme, weren’t they? Just like we are…”

How are your symptoms?

“Just like usual.” Wei Wuxian lied, and he knew Lan Wangji didn’t believe it either, but he didn’t press the issue. In fact, just that morning, right after Lan Wangji had left for the depths, Wei Wuxian had a flare up, a painful, bloody coughing fit followed by a bout of hallucinations that nearly had him destroy important components of their base in an uncontrollable rage.

If they didn’t find a way to access the Enzyme, Wei Wuxian could not help but fear he would end up being the one to hurt his husband and kill both of them in the process.

There isn’t just alien technology here.

“What do you mean?”

There is a 15th century sword here. From Earth.

Wei Wuxian tapped his chin in thought, “15th century… the 1400s… The Renaissance? Galileo, Copernicus… could some of the greatest human achievements be credited to an alien race?”

Perhaps they did not become involved, merely observed and collected samples.

“Most likely, but that isn’t as entertaining.” Wei Wuxian allowed himself a small laugh. “This is going to make Earth historian meetings a lot more interesting when it gets out.”

Lan Wangji let out a huff, almost chastising Wei Wuxian for the oncoming scientific chaos he seemed eager to cause. But in truth, he missed the other’s humor, the little remarks he would make whenever something surprised him - and the alien base was indeed surprising. Wei Wuxian would have to make do with the scans and the data, though - as well as Lan Wangji’s stories. And while he had never been much of a storyteller, he would try. He would tell Wei Wuxian anything and everything he wanted about that place as long as he managed to get out of there alive.

There was silence for a while again as Lan Wangji scanned through the artifacts and explored the area, though it was less nerve-wracking this time, because Wei Wuxian could hear him breathe, and move – and though it was not ideal, it was more than enough for now. However, the anxiety ate away at Wei Wuxian regardless – he could not be there with his husband, could not see what he was seeing, and couldn't help him.

Not to mention, Lan Wangji’s options were limited - without the prawn suit, there was not much he could do and there was nothing he could use to either defend himself or build something to escape.

The communication system came to life again. I’ve reached some sort of pipe room. There is tubing, where infected peepers swim through and come out cured.

Wei Wuxian tapped his chin again. Could that be part of the alien’s project to cure Khara’a? Had they managed to get some kind of experiment to be successful or was there something else healing the fish?

“Can you trace back where the healthy ones are coming from? Maybe that’s where the cure is.”

The tubing system appears to be built into the facility somehow, I cannot follow it…there is no exit here, either.

A cold shiver ran down Wei Wuxian’s spine, and though he had never been superstitious, he could not help the sinking feeling that settled into his gut. “Be – Be careful, alright? If there’s anything – “

There is not. And, in a softer, soothing voice, Trust me, Wei Ying. I will be alright.

Wei Wuxian crossed his arms in front of his chest, as if seeking warmth, comfort. His voice had dropped as well, unsure of whether he wanted to speak out loud or not. “This is really difficult for me, you know? You’re down there, and I’m up here, and I can’t do anything…”

I know. It will be over soon.

Wei Wuxian did not find comfort in those words at all, feeling his eyes well up again. “Don’t say it like that.”

I apologize. I meant that this… unpleasant situation will be over soon. I will not. We will not.

Wei Wuxian desperately wanted to believe that, to hang onto Lan Wangji’s words like they were the promise of the heavens and not even dare to question them. But this planet is not a place for hope, for optimism - it’s a merciless underwater jungle, hell beneath a sparkling blue surface. And there had never been room for hope in the abyss.

I have found another… doorway. It is guarded by a forcefield.

Wei Wuxian quickly wiped at his face, clearing his throat so he could speak. “Where does it lead?””

I can’t tell.

“You’ve already used up the tablet we found, though… ” Wei Wuxian all but wailed. “God, if only I could find a way to –“

I have brought a second tablet, Wei Ying. Lan Wangji interrupted, only a little bit smug about it. I was granted access.

Wei Wuxian couldn’t help a little smile. “Always so well prepared, of course my husband would foresee even the most unexpected things.”

But instead of some teasing reply back, Wei Wuxian was once again met with silence, and he realized the more time passed without hearing his husband, the more the dread he’d barely managed to stave off returned.

“Lan Zhan? What’s going on?”

There was no response. Of course, Wei Wuxian could hear the other breathe still, and nothing violent seemed to have happened because Wei Wuxian had not heard anything to cause him worry.

So then why wasn’t his husband replying?

“Lan Zhan?”

Yes. I am here.

“Are you alright?”

Do you remember the vision I had?

“With that female creature thing?”

Yes.

“What about it?”

She’s calling for me.

Wei Wuxian felt ice invade his bloodstream, his voice unsteady as he spoke. “Lan Zhan, that wasn’t real.”

It is now.

“Lan Zhan!” He all but screamed, slamming his hands into one of the ship’s consoles. “Whatever that thing told you, it wasn’t real. Don’t listen to it!”

Lan Wangji did not reply, but Wei Wuxian did not want to allow silence to take over again. He struggled to steady his breaths, quick as they were, and continued, “Tell me what you see.”

A moonpool.

“That’s…all?”

Yes.

“Lan Zhan, you’re – are you going in?”

There must be something of value here, otherwise they would not have guarded it like this.

“There could also be something dangerous they wanted sealed away. Lan Zhan, we can’t just infer on –“

There is no other way, Wei Ying.

“Did -” Wei Wuxian swallowed back his tears and the mounting despair, “Did that thing you saw lure you in there?”

Was his husband losing his mind? Was that it then? He would jump into the water, right in the jaws of whatever awaited him there, and Wei Wuxian would be left to, once again, listen to it happen? Would his husband go die willingly?!

Wei Ying, I am still of sound mind. If whatever I am seeing was trying to kill me, it would have already. But I think this is different.

It was growing increasingly difficult for Wei Wuxian to control his emotions, voice coming out louder and more desperate than he had intended. “Lan Zhan, you - we can’t just risk so much for a hunch!”

There is nothing else to do. I either take the risk, and perhaps find a way home, or I die here.

Wei Wuxian could hear the echo of his husband approaching the water, and the sound of his body disturbing the surface, little ripples hitting against him. “W-What if there is something else, what if you haven’t found it and you’re just – you’re killing yourself for no reason?!”

Lan Wangji remained ever so calm, There is nothing else. I’ve checked everything.

Wei Wuxian’s eyes scanned wildly around the base, hoping that a solution would manifest itself out of thin air for him to hang onto. “Then – then wait, I can try to upgrade the Cyclops! I-I have enough time to go find the materials we’re missing, it’s only a few things, I can already set up the map and-“

Wei Ying. I asked you to trust me.

Wei Wuxian all but slid, bonelessly, against the console, voice breaking, “I do, Lan Zhan, I trust you and I love you and I… I can’t let you – I can’t lose you. I don’t want to, and I’m-“

I love you.

It was too late to stop himself from crying now, “Don’t say it like you’ll never say it again.”

I’m going in.

“Lan Zhan…”

And once again, Wei Wuxian found himself surrounded by silence. What could he do now? Who could even know what Lan Zhan would find, what kind of creature would tear him apart without any hope of fighting back? And when - if - that happened, what would Wei Wuxian do?

He needed his husband, needed to not feel like the world had forgotten him there and was waiting for him to die just like everybody else already had. He needed to not be alone, to have someone to live for, to fight for, to make him feel like there was still a point to his struggle to survive.

And he still - A-Yuan was still at home, waiting for him. Waiting for both of them - to come back and tell him stories about worlds further away than even his imagination could take him… to tuck him into bed and kiss him goodnight, and make his favorite breakfast every morning… What would Wei Wuxian tell his son when he asked about his a-Die? That some terrible monster tricked him into offering himself as sacrifice in a strange facility deep inside a cursed sea? Wouldn’t A-Yuan ask ‘where were you then, baba? why didn’t you do anything’? What would Wei Wuxian tell him? That he was incapable? Useless? That he hadn’t even tried?

Would his son not hate him then? Would he not hate himself? Would it be right for him to keep living?

Wei Ying! Wei Ying, can you hear me?

Wei Wuxian did not react at first. There was no way that was his husband. Perhaps that creature had found a way to reach Wei Wuxian, and was trying to make him believe in delusions so he would jump into the water and let himself be killed as well.

But Wei Wuxian would not let that happen. He would not give in, and he would not allow this horrid place to kill him. If he decided he would die, he would do so on his own terms - and if these monsters had taken his husband away from him, he would not give them the satisfaction to take him too, to claim another life.

Wei Ying! I’m - there wasn’t a monster, it saved me! I’m trying to…

“Get lost.” Wei Wuxian almost wanted to laugh. That’s what that monster would want him to believe, right? That Lan Zhan was alive, so he would run out and try to find him, only to fall prey to it!

I’m - I don’t know where I am, I can’t… go on any further…

“I said, get lost!”

What an annoying creature! Did it not realize Wei Wuxian would not fall for its tricks? If only he had the equipment to go out there and kill it - kill all of them, everything, destroy the whole place, blow the whole planet all up until there was no trace left of it, of anyone or anything…

His eyesight blurred, anger simmering beneath his skin. He was having another flare up, wasn’t he? The bacterium was going to kill him… how disgusting…

Wei Ying, I know you’re angry, please, just listen…

Wei Wuxian coughed out a mouthful of blood. Why won’t the damn thing shut up already?!

“Get lost!”

Wei Ying… I know you’re sick, I know… know you don’t mean to… just… just listen… for a little bit…

Wei Wuxian heaved a long, painful breath, the pressure against his ribcage bringing some clarity to his mind. He could hear the other struggling to catch his breath, a sound far too realistic for anything on that planet to be able to make it.

What if that was indeed Lan Zhan?

Wei Ying… the cure… the Sea Emperor Leviathan is… her eggs… go and… free them and… I…

All Wei Wuxian could hear now were quick, shallow breaths - and he sprinted towards the Seamoth with all his might, more afraid now than he had ever been before. Would his husband die before he reached him with the Seamoth? Had he been so incredibly dumb to think someone was playing mind tricks on him and left his husband to die in the middle of the ocean?!

Would Lan Zhan die thinking Wei Ying let him -

The radar on the ship blinked rapidly as it detected the temperature pattern of a human being less than 300 meters away - Lan Zhan was close, a lot closer than Wei Wuxian had thought him to be. If he hadn’t snapped out of that trance, if he hadn’t -

When he got close enough, Wei Wuxian was quick to jump out of the vehicle towards the floating, aimless body of his husband. He was unconscious, but not dead - he couldn’t be dead. Wei Wuxian would never forgive himself if his mistake killed his beloved, and he would betray his promise and take his life right there.

So, with shaking, fearful hands, and tears clouding his vision, Wei Wuxian brought his husband into the Seamoth and carefully removed his helmet so he could breathe freely. But the first thing Wei Wuxian noticed, other than the slow breaths that fanned from his beloved’s lips, were two shining tear tracks down his face.

–

The vehicle surfaced with ease. Outside, the planet’s sun shone brightly on a clear sky, casting light over the wild greenery of the Mountain Island.

Wei Wuxian let the hull of the Seamoth open, warm rays of sunlight cascading over Lan Wangji’s face. He had carefully placed his husband in his arms as he sat in the captain’s seat, never wanting to let him go again, and so he anchored the ship to the shore like a sailboat, rocking with the tiny waves like a child’s crib.

Now, all that was left was to wait.

Lan Wangji had not been unconscious for long. It was likely that exhaustion caught up to him before he could make it ashore - after all, no matter how strong, he was still human. A human that had barely survived a nearly fatal attack and then ran around a strange place in search for a way out, not unlike a trapped animal seeking escape from its cage. Anybody else in his place would have been long gone - so much effort for his body to take, on top of being infected by a powerful bacterium… it was a wonder he was still alive. A miracle, even.

Running a hand through Lan Wangji’s sweat-damp hair, Wei Wuxian could not help the tears in his eyes from falling as he leaned down to leave a soft, chaste kiss over his love’s forehead. He had almost lost him - and not even because of a mindless sea monster or a twisted form of technology.

He could have killed his husband himself.It felt sacrilegious to love on him now - to touch him, to hold him. But Wei Wuxian could not help it, not as his body still trembled with the horrors that he had had to live through. Or rather, to witness. He would never forget that suffocating feeling of helplessness, the despair that came with hitting the limits of technology and his own humanity.

It flows out of him almost as smoothly as his tears do - a song so full of heart and longing and love, that the world around disappears into it.

And then, quietly, a second voice joins in, humming along the beautiful melody and the shaking voice of his beloved.

The song cuts off into sobs and I love yous, and the sound of the waves lapping at the sides of the floating ship…

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #writing attempts #subnautica au

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d0tping · 9 months

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Hey guys, so I know I already don’t post a ton on here, let alone about Sanders Sides, but I know some of you have followed me because of my Sanders Sides related posts.

So this post is mainly for those people who follow me, or any other sanders sides fan who comes across this post who’s just browsing the tags.

I’ve come to the decision that after the season 2 finale, whenever that will come out, I will no longer be watching Sanders Sides as a regular fan.

I know a lot of people in the fandom are pretty bored of the lack of content or are just tired of waiting, or is upset with how the series is being handled/treated at the moment, or have just fallen out of love for the series, and I completely understand every single one of you who are feeling like that.

Personally, I am pretty tired of the current treatment of the series, I am incredibly tired of the lack of communication we get, I’m tired of being strung along with little comments to make us stay, I’m just tired.

Now, this is not to say that I am against Thomas in any way shape or form, no absolutely not. I want to make that incredibly clear! I do not hate Thomas Sanders! I am not against him! I understand this year has been awful for him both mentally and physically, and I am so proud and happy that he’s been doing better recently. And I wish nothing but the absolute best for him!

But there’s only so much I can defend. And lack of professionalism, communication and organisation is, unfortunately, not something I can defend.

There has been so many times where Thomas’ could’ve told us something, updated us on the writing, the production process, filming, etc etc, and it has just been radio silence, other than a few tweets here and there that still imply he’s in the writing process.

I’m at a point where I am even scared that the finale is just not going to be worth the wait we’ve had to sit through.

Let’s face it, the fandom is dead, the series is in purgatory - practically on the brink of death - we get no updates, no episodes, and the only sanders sides content we get is either ads or a little something for us to talk about for about a week, maybe 2 if we really milk it out.

But other than that, Sanders Sides has become a cash grab and filler content. Just let that sink in for a moment…

Yeah, I don’t know about you, but if this is what it’s like now, who knows what it’s going to be like for season 3. Yikes.

And personally, I don’t want to be around to watch that. I’m already having to watch a series I love and care about deeply slowly die in real time, I really don’t want to stay to see how far it will fall.

Now this is not to say that I am going to stop watching Sanders Sides, no I will still watch it, I will still watch season 3, but I will just not be considered a “regular fan,” more so just a casual viewer.

Once something dies down for me, I more or less just stop caring for it, this is pretty common for me and it’s pretty unfortunate to be honest, I’ve been like this with many other of my past special interests/hyperfixations, but for me if there is nothing to keep me hyperfixated on something….then what’s the point? For example: a few years back I was incredibly fixated on Teen Wolf, I watched the entire series on Netflix and I was completely and utterly obsessed. It was a main hyperfixation of mine for a long time, and then I finished the show. And whilst I still enjoyed it, I still liked it, it slowly faded into the background for me overtime. I may not be completely and utterly obsessed with it anymore now, but I still like it and I look back on it very fondly.

This has been the same for Sanders Sides, and it has been like that for a while now for me.

I still love it, I’d still like to see the end of it, but it’s just….not a huge thing for me anymore.

So yeah, after season 2 I am done with Sanders Sides, at least on a regular fan level.

Thank you so much for liking my Sanders Sides posts, despite how few there are compared to other sanders sides blogs on here, but I appreciate you stopping by and checking out my art and my theories/ideas.

I believe I still have a few sanders sides drafts on here that I never posted, so if you’d like to see them then I am more than happy to post them!

I’m not leaving the fandom forever, I’m more so just giving my time and energy to other things, and that’s okay. Sanders Sides will always be there, no matter how long it takes /lh.

So whilst this is not a goodbye, it’s more of a “see you around” I suppose, so I’ll see you guys around! Again thank you so much for checking out my lil sanders sides corner of the internet, and I hope you all carry on creating your amazing art, writing, edits, cosplays, headcanons, ideas and theories for this truly amazing series. And of course, I hope you enjoy watching Sanders Sides!

Bye guys! Much love and take care 💛🫶

-Remy

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #ts sides #sanders sides critical #thomas sanders critical

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the-blind-assassin-12 · 2 years

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🎁🎁🎁 Static and Snow

A SNEAKRET SANTA GIFT DRABBLE

A/N: Merry December and Happy Holidays, everyone! I posted briefly about this earlier today, but I have been sneakily working on some drabbles as gifts for the holidays, and since it’s officially December now, I am going to start putting them under the tree. These are my way of giving back to some of the lovely content creators here whose work brings me joy. I tried to personalize them a little bit for each person they’re dedicated to, but they’re just as much my gift to anyone who has ever shared their work or who has ever read mine. Thank you for being lovely <3

Gift Tag: @insomniamamma - Who had this to say when I asked “Ezra or Nico” - “Ok, SATAN! Seriously, this may be the hardest ask I've ever gotten.” - In the end, though, the answer was Ezra, and I chose the prompts fuzzy socks, books & silence to go along with him. J, your Prickle AU is one of my very favorites. Thank you for sharing it - along with all of your other incredible writing. Wishing you a very happy holiday season - I hope you enjoy your sneakret santa gift!!

WC: 1,238

Warnings: none. it’s a fluff.

Ezra sits in the oversized armchair in the corner with his book propped in his lap, lips parted and brow creased in concentration as he reads some novel about Ephratian pirates and a Karoclan warrior. He only started it that morning, plucking it from one of the bungalow’s teeming shelves, but he’s already more than half-way through it. Occasionally the phantom fingers of his right hand twitch when it’s time to turn the page. Despite nearly two years passing since he parted ways with the limb, he still has urges to use it.

I wonder if that sensation will ever fade away completely or if I’ll be forced to fight it off forever.

He does his best to ignore it for now, reaching - still a little clumsily - with his left hand to slip a finger beneath the sheet of paper so he can flip it and continue to read. But before he can submerge himself in the story once more, the crunchy sound of static cuts through the music playing softly in the background - old holiday tunes he hasn’t heard in decades suddenly tinged with crackling white noise.

Must be the weather, he muses. The snow had finished falling a few hours ago, but the temperature continued to plunge, freezing signal towers and satellite dishes, muting the world with cold. Ezra shrugs more deeply into the thick brown sweater he wears. He prefers to be warm. Prefers Lao and the Ephrate and even Central to anywhere where he has to layer up against the chill. He’s spent too much time in bulky suits, worrying about what could happen if the fabric were to tear to be comfortable this bundled up.

If he had his druthers, he’d much rather be bathing his bare skin in the rays of whichever star was on the rise in Kamrea.

The song on the radio cuts in and out so much that he can’t even tell which one it is anymore. With a sigh, he tucks his bookmark - a tattered ticket stub from his first Cirian Prime shuttle flight, the one where he met you - against the spine to hold his place, and sets the book down to deal with the frost ridden radio. “Think it’s time to-”

His words melt on his tongue as he looks up though, the sight across from him making him forget about the cold entirely. Oh, Kevva. I’ll never understand how or why a man like me stumbled upon luck like this but I am not fool enough to question it.

You and Cee had both fallen asleep on the couch, the girl’s head tilted close to your shoulder but not quite resting on it, a heavy orange blanket tossed over the two of you, and your books discarded in your laps. There is one tufted ottoman that both of you share, the two of you wearing matching pairs of fuzzy Cardovian wool socks to cover your feet, yours crossed at the ankles and Cee’s flopped outward. She has her hood pulled around her ears so that only a few strands of her blonde hair are visible around her cheeks, still reddish pink from the time spent outside earlier, when she’d been in pure awe of the icy wonderland around her.

You gave this to her, Comet. Ezra’s eyes shift over to your face and his chest swells as he thinks back to the night when you first brought the trip up.

“What about Itho?” You’d asked the question one night while you and Ezra finished dinner in your small apartment.

He’d narrowed his eyes as he chewed, consciously telling himself to pick up his napkin with his left hand instead of his absent dominant one. His eyebrow quirked up as he finally succeeded in wiping his mouth without issue. “Itho?” You nodded as he swallowed and tried to figure out where you were headed. “I don’t know, Comet, what about Itho?”

“Well,” You bit your bottom lip and set your fork down on the edge of your plate. “What if we… the three of us… what if we spend Cee’s winter break on Itho? I have some banked shuttle credits we can use for the trip, and Dezi already said she’d trade routes with me so I can have the whole week off. Her brother knows someone we could rent a bungalow from and...” You shrugged. “What do you think?”

He dropped his napkin back to the table and reached across it for your hand, your fingers sliding easily between his. Speaking your name, he gave you a squeeze. “Are you sure you want to-”

“Ezra.” You cut him off with a laugh and a shake of your head, lifting his hand up to your lips and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “Yes, I’m sure. She’s gonna be sixteen soon and she said that she’s never seen snow, and-”

He got up from his seat then, walking around the small table to pull you to your feet and against his body, a startled sound escaping you as he wound his arm around your torso. “I think Itho sounds perfect.” Dropping his lips to the top of your head, he smiled into your hair. “Birdie is going to be thrilled when you tell her.”

He rises slowly from his seat so he doesn’t wake either of you, and turns to switch the radio off. The silence of the settled storm rushes in to fill the room, but he doesn’t seek to fill it immediately like he once might have. Getting used to the quiet is like getting used to the loss of his arm - on the Green, silence is deadly. If nothing comes in through the comms but static, it means that he’s on his own. But as he looks across the small room and sees the two people he cares about most in the universe, as he listens to the silence that acts like an extra blanket over everything, he sees that that isn't the case.

He’s known it for some time now, but this trip - ice and all - seems to solidify it in ways he can’t quite explain. I love you, Comet. And Cee does, too.

Cee’s book finally slips from her slack grasp and hits the carpeted floor with a muffled thunk that she sleeps through. The slight disturbance is enough to make you stir, though, your eyes fluttering open as you inhale through your nose. You smile down at the girl beside you before looking over at him, cheeks rising higher as your sleepy smile spreads. Clearing your throat, you carefully untuck yourself from the blanket and shuffle the few steps to where Ezra is still standing, your socks picking up a charge from rubbing against the carpet. You rise on your toes to bump your nose against his, a little zap of electricity where your skin touches his. “Bed?”

It’s just one word but it reaches down into his chest and swirls around his heart. It’s just one word and it’s one you utter to him almost on a nightly basis back home. But it’s one he knows he’ll never tire of hearing, one that gives him a sensation he knows with certainty will never fade.

He looks into your eyes as you bring one hand up to card through his hair, combing the increasingly shaggy locks back and away from his face, and he nods before kissing your palm. “Bed.”

Thank you for reading! If you would like to be added to or removed from my taglist, please feel free to let me know by sending a message or by filling out the form on my masterlist :)

tags: @something-tofightfor @alraedesigns @pheedraws @shoopidly @fific7 @valkblue @cannedsoupsucks @tobealostwanderer @paracosmenthusiast @gracie7209 @dihra-vesa @marauderskeeper @disgruntledspacedad @novemberrain221 @littlemisspascal @mishasminion360 @stevie75 @nyctophiliiiiaaa @practicalghost @tanzthompson @harriedandharassed @woodlandmouth @swtaura @thescarletfang @trickstersp8 @princessxkenobi @imtryingmybeskar @wildmoonflower @mswarriorbabe80 @theredwritingwitch @silverstarsandsuns

#sneakret santa 2022 #ezra x female reader #ezra (prospect) x female reader #ezra (prospect) fic #ezra x you #ezra x reader #ezra (prospect)#cee (prospect)#happy holidays!!#static and snow #pedro pascal character #pedrostories

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themurderofcrowscollective · 4 months

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Lycanthropy

In this world, nothing mythical exists. Sometimes you'll find the occasional nutjob screaming that there's a werewolf running around here and there, but that bunch of people are called nutjobs for a reason. However this time around, there's something strange happening in a quiet little town that's well known for it's small-town beauty, Rachel Hargreeves. She's a lovely singer and actress, but she is mostly seen at the cabaret club and never out in public. Some people believe she's a ghost or only exists whenever the club is full, but she leads her own life of secrecy to keep herself safe. During a mission taking place in this small town, the 141 main group gather at the cabaret club to recon as the town's been taken over by hostiles from a foreign country, meeting the one and only Rachel who peeked out of the backstage, having hid there when the first fight broke out. Let's begin. + + + Chapter 1: An Unexpected Meeting + + + The last thing I heard before the silence was gunfire and shooting, but when the front door opened quietly and slowly with heavy footsteps walking inside, I can hear soft muttering among the many men. I've been hiding in here since the first fight that started all of this mess, which is roughly 3 weeks now. I can hear them mutter softly about the other townsfolk who hid and stayed alive, discussing matters of what to do next. Are they friend or foe? I can only find out if I stop hiding, so as I take a deep breath, I slowly open my door and step quietly through the backstage area before pulling back the red curtain of the main stage. The first set of eyes I lock onto belong to an older gentleman with an astonishing beard and a bucket hat, smoking a cigar. For a second we stare at each other before I grab a rifle I've kept near the curtain and hold it at the ready as I walk through the curtain slowly and hesitantly. The room goes silent after I cock the rifle, all eyes on me as I stare at the group. However before things went quieter, I speak up. " Are any of you friend or foe? " I ask a bit coldly, I'd rather not deal with another break-in and deal with the body disposal. The man with the cigar slowly raises his hand and approaches the stage, approaching me with his hands shown. " Easy miss, we're the 141. We're regaining control of the situation as my men go through the town to get tie up loose ends. " We stare at each other for a moment before I un-cock the rifle and sigh in relief as I put it backstage again. " That's a relief. I've had to kill a few more than I'd like to admit, but they've called reinforces half an hour ago before you guys got here. " One of the other men speaks up, a fine chap with a baseball cap on. " How do you know? " " I stole one of their radios to keep tabs on the situation, here. " I unhook the radio from my waist and flick it on, tossing it to the man with the cap. There's audio of a few enemies being taken out but the reinforcements are soon to arrive. " You guys are free to use this place as a refuge or base of operations, despite there being a lot of chaos outside, there's still functioning electricity and wifi. " As I turn to go backstage, I'm grabbed by the wrist by a man in a skeleton mask, quickly looking at him. " Who are you first and foremost, lass? " God that's a lovely accent. " I'm Rachel Hargreeves, you must've seen my poster out on the front door before you came in. Welcome to my cabaret club, it's also my home. " He lets go after we both stare at each other, sighing. The man with the cigar approaches me again as I step through the curtains, gaining my attention by grabbing my shoulder. " I'm John Price, but you're free to call me Price. Thank you very much for allowing us to stay here, and if there's anything you need help with, let me or the others know. They all seem mean but they're loyal and kind. " He smiles at me as I smile back, grabbing his hand and shaking it. " Thank you, I just need to repair the lights as it's getting darker outside. "

#spooky fanfiction

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imaginespazzi · 2 months

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Alright bestie, I have sufficiently recovered from my hangover and can actually form more coherent thoughts. It’s gonna be LONG (can you tell I love this chapter so much?), so here goes:

Honestly, this is mainly just going to be me gushing about your writing because genuinely, the way this whole chapter was written was just – it was so beautiful.

Like the past 3 chapters were too, don’t get me wrong, but this one was just oof (I’m running out of words)- I had to re-read paragraphs or sentences several times over because it was just THAT GOOD.

The exchange between Azzi and Zoe, poor Zoe man, and Zoe saying “let me remember you as someone good- someone great” 😔 when you find the love of your life but you’re not theirs ❤️‍🩹 Thank you for your service (to the plot), Zoe.

And then the accident – babes you really put me through it with this part. This in particular though, “Uh yeah- I told her Azzi called and she seemed pretty sure she wanted me to pick up.” Maybe Paige does know what it would do, does know how it would make Azzi feel, maybe that’s the whole fucking point. The rage I felt towards Paige in this moment, like I know she was hurting bad but oh man doing this after having gone back to being radio silent had me fuming!

And then we get to THE SCENE. Which might be one of my favourite things you’ve ever written and that I’ve ever read. Was it one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve had to read? Abso-fucking-lutely. But my god, the way it was written was IMMACULATE. DIVINE. Just absolute perfection.

I could go on about this part forever, and the number of lines/quotes that just pierced me to my core, but this ask might just become as long as the chapter was but far less eloquent so I won’t put anybody through that.

This bit though - “If I hadn’t called you that night would you have called me first Paige? If I hadn’t gotten into that stupid accident, would you even have texted me ever again?” Paige’s silence is an answer in itself. I was starting to trust Paige again before this chapter and so I was severely disappointed in her with this one. Look I know she starts redeeming herself towards the end, but she’s still got a ways to go before, even I, trust her with Azzi’s heart.

Oh and then when she talks about maybe entering the draft if Azzi gave her a reason to. Like I know baby girl was desperate to save them at this point, but I kinda hated her for it because to give Azzi that small flicker of hope when Azzi was right, she probably would have just resented Azzi for it eventually.

Quick side note though: can I just say I love how real-life circumstances line up perfectly for this fic – Sparks having the second pick of the draft and that being where Paige was projected to go, and then the bracket having UCLA and UConn in a potential Final Four match up. I knew the committee were fans of the fic too! 😭

Azzi giving Paige a taste of her own medicine – AS SHE SHOULD.

The game – Nika hugging Azzi?? Love that growth. And then “good game Bueckers” – again, I’m team Azzi here right now but my heart still hurt for Paige in that moment.

But also, Azzi still being so happy for Paige despite her own heartbreak at losing, the love she still has for her despite everything is so 🥺

The final part – Paige desperately wanting Azzi there for the championship game and just her entire proclamation of love and always being there from now on. Like ok maybe I’m team Paige again too, but she really has put my poor sweet princess pookie through so much so…IDK I’M CONFLICTED.

OKAY FUCK IMMA WRAP THIS BIT UP NOW EVEN THOUGH I COULD KEEP GOING

Thoughts on what’s next?

Fluff, maybe? 😭

I’m actually so curious what Azzi’s response will be, because I think I recall you saying way back when that you envisioned them not ending up together until much later in the story? So does she give in and finally give them a chance? Or is she still not ready yet? Either way, I think for Paige, this is it – she’s all in and even if Azzi says she’s not ready yet, I know she’ll wait however long it takes and she’ll keep showing up (or at least I hope she does).

But also, Azzi showing up to the championship game in Paige’s jersey, maybe? Please?

Also, I just realised that since we don’t have Azzi getting injured in this fic (thank you, because we need at least one alternate universe where it doesn’t happen) – does that mean they’d be getting drafted in the same year? Oof so much potential with that! 👀

Ok ok I’ll stop here now, but again, even in my extremely hungover and half-dead state (which I was in when I first read part 4), trust that my brain was constantly WOW WOW WOW while my heart kept breaking.

Favourite line/quote (there are so many, too many, to choose from):

“I think you mean it now. I don’t think you’ll mean it forever,”

Also just another quick side note, as always the song choice is on point, but when I was listening to my UCLA au playlist (I know, I literally made one too, I’m just too invested lmao), I Was Made For Loving You by Tori Kelly and Ed Sheeran came on and idk the chorus of “I was made for loving you, even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through. Every bone screaming I don’t know what we should do. All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you” just felt really poignant when reading the ending.

Thank you for this bestie. Have a great day/night and hopefully we get the W tomorrow 🙏

So much love always, Nivi 💗

-🙋‍♀️

Have I mentioned how much I love you? And every time I see you in my inbox, especially with your long reviews, I get to so excited and honestly they'll never be too long for me. <3

First of all babes thank you for all the compliments, like you had me blushing throughout reading because it really means a lot, especially because this fic really would not exist without you. 💗

Zoe really is just a good pure soul and breaking her heart sort of broke mine

Paige (as she realize eventually) really fucked up in this chapter like even I, as the person in control of this lmao, was pretty upset with her but as you said, this is it for Paige. She's fully out of her stupidity era (I think) and completely into her *fight til the end* era now

I had a lot of fun writing the fight scene so the fact that it's your favorite makes me so happy and lowkey babes we're the same, cause gut-wrenching heartbreak scenes really are my most favorite thing ever.

No but actually though so many things lined up really well for the fic to still stay really close to reality (except well UCLA isn't gonna be in the F4 but still if they had Azzi....) and the draft worked out really well. I think for Paige to get to the point that she did, she needed to to be put in a similar situation and the draft really worked out well for that

Okay I'm ngl to you bestie, I actually don't know what's next. I had a vision but I'm also very go with the flow, so a lot of my initial plans have gone out the window. So honestly, currently, I don't know if Azzi's gonna say yes, no or maybe something in between?

I'm glad you picked up on them likely being drafted in the same year because as it stands, the two of them are not gonna be able to be in the same state/city for a hot second and that's gonna be the new point of contention, especially with Azzi's trust issues.

That quote was one of my favorites too!

YES I WAS MADE FOR LOVING YOU FITS SO WELL WITH THE END. I'd also recommend listening to Just Give Me a Reason because the duet fits both Paige and Azzi very well, with one of them being hopeful and the other on the brink of despair

Always happy to see you babes <3

#ask #fic talk #UCLA ANON LOML FR <3 #the way these parts are just as much a surprise for me as they are for y'all because i never what my hands are about to write

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thegeekybaker · 1 year

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Three Little Words

Characters - John Price x OC

Summary - 5 times Person A wanted to tell Person B they love them + the 1 time they finally did. (Thank you for the prompt @love-me-a-good-prompt !)

Word Count - 1,411

Warnings - None, just some fluff!

A/N - Ok, so, this is my first post on Tumblr, and I’m not really sure how to do this? But here goes nothing.

Here’s a little story that I wrote with a not-very-fleshed-out OC + Captain John Price, and I was really proud of how it turned out! So I wanted to share :) (I haven’t written in an exTREMEly long time, so please take this with multiple grains of salt, thanks!)

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Eliza pretty well knew after the first 2 weeks they had known each other that she was falling hard for her neighbor, John Price. There was something about him that was so captivating, it threatened to pull her in entirely, and she knew if it did, she would never surface.

The first time an “I love you” almost slipped out, they had been sharing some quiet time before work, first thing in the morning. She was sat at the table next to John, sipping her warm drink and just soaking in his presence, trying not to be too obvious as she stared at him, wanting to commit as much of him to her memory as possible. He was shipping out in a couple of days, being deployed to who knows where, and she realized with a sharp stab in her chest that she would miss their daily ritual, would miss him. Finishing their conversation with her drink, she stood to go back inside, when suddenly, John blurted out her name, seeming almost started that he had done so. He stood and haltingly asked if she would be his girlfriend, cutting her off to insist he understood if she didn’t want to start a relationship with him. Being with a career military man is a hard life. But, despite his trying to convince her otherwise, she assured him she wanted to. She couldn’t deny the pull between them, and she wanted to explore that with him. When she left for the hospital that day with a smile splitting her face, John was on the porch to see her off. Swallowing her “I love you,” she bid him a good day with a hug, and off she went.

The second time had been a few days later, when she saw him off on his deployment for the first time. He didn’t really know how long he would be gone, saying that “cleaning up loose ends never really had a time limit.” She had taken the day off, driving him to the base he so often frequented, and with a tight hug and shy kiss on the cheek, she waved him onto the plane, biting her cheek to keep the words slipping out of her mouth and the tears sliding down her face.

The third time was when he reappeared on the doorstep of the ER where she worked. Doing a double take, she thought she was imagining him at first, but when he smiled and his blue eyes crinkled around the edges, and with the faint scent of cigar smoke lingering in the air, she knew it was really him. She had run and jumped in his arms, delighted to see him after 3 months of radio silence. She kissed him hard on the mouth then, becoming very red in the face after she realized what she had done. John’s face was tinged pink too, though he smiled brilliantly through it all.

The fourth time was when they had his whole team over for dinner. Kyle “Gaz” Garrick lived in London, so he was over quite often, but Johnny “Soap” McTavish had traveled in from Scotland, and Simon “Ghost” Riley was visiting from…somewhere. Eliza enjoyed cooking large, family style meals, and so when the opportunity came about, she jumped on it as fast as she could. After the meal was over and everyone had had a few drinks, Kyle and Johnny were teasing Eliza about how much she and John “loOoOOoved each other!!” All she could do was bury her flaming face in her hands keep her eyes as far away from John as she could. She loved him with all of her being, it was true, but neither of them had said it yet, and when they did, she wanted it to be a private affair, just her and John.

The fifth time had actually been later that night, after the boys had left. John had stayed after they’d gone, helping her wash dishes and tidy her living space. He was standing at the sink with his back to her, washing and drying her dishes as she swept the kitchen and dining area. The image of the two of them married and living together in domestic bliss hit her so hard it threatened to choke her. She sucked in a deep breath, all of her being wanting to scream those three little words from the rooftop, but she clamped her hand over her mouth, trying to kill the words in her throat. They hadn’t been dating half a year, and three of those months were spent on their own, John’s job forcing him to stay incommunicado. After all, what she felt could very well be infatuation, not true love, and John, being a little over 10 years her senior, would surely have more an idea of actual love than she could.

How could she say it first?

She quickly turned around when she noticed John had stopped his job to listen to the quiet commotion behind him. She had never been so happy to stub a toe in her life, as the pain in her foot easily excused the tears forming in her eyes.

When those heavy words finally did slip through the cracks in her resolve, it was like a weight was lifted from her shoulders - no, from her very soul. John was staying home for a few months, and he had taken up driving and picking up Eliza from work. She thanked him time and time again, as she loathed driving in London traffic to get to the smaller hospital outside the massive city. Smoothly pulling into a parking space, John leaned over to give her a chaste kiss on the forehead, which she returned by giving him a quick peck on the nose. Seeing him smile made her giggle, and, with that image in mind, she knew she could easily last her 12 hour shift. She jumped down out of the giant black SUV, and, turning to grab her almost forgotten drink, she said with a smile on her face, “Bye John, love you!”

She turned around and stopped in her tracks, her smile dropping, realizing what had just come out of her mouth. It came so natural and easy, just like everything did with John, the thought not shooting up any red flags as it had formed in her mind.

“Love you, too, darling.”

She could hear the smile in his voice. She spun around so quickly she stumbled into the car, staring at John like a deer in the headlights. He chuckled at the no doubt ridiculous look she had on her face, and she could feel the blush slowly crawling up her neck, settling in her cheeks. “You do?”, she asked in a choked whisper.

John had the sense to look a tad worried now, the smile dropping slightly and a small crease forming between his brows. “Of course I do, love. I think I always have.” He reached out a hand toward her, silently asking for her own, which she gave willingly, even if it was a tad shaky. He placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles, his facial hair tickling her skin, and said quietly, “I’m glad to hear you love me, too.”

Eliza stood there in awe, struck dumb at the wonderful man before her. How could she have gotten so lucky? A smile spread on her face so wide it hurt, as she turned her hand in his to grasp it and pull herself back into the SUV. She held John’s face in her other hand as she kissed him deeply. Pulling back, smile still on her face, she said, “Well, I’m happy to know you feel the same too!” She jumped out of the vehicle again and started walking backwards towards the hospital, yelling all the way, “Because now that I know, I’m never going to stop saying it! I’m going to tell you that I love you so much you’ll get sick of it!”

John, with a smile just as wide and bordering on painful, yelled back, “I never could!”

Eliza laughed as she turned around to enter the building, and John could see her spin back to face him one last time as he leaned over and pulled the forgotten passenger door closed, already making plans to have dinner cooked for the two of them and a dozen roses in hand when he picked her up that night.

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officialcreepypastareheated · 1 year

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Hey, been a bit. Got a few follows despite this being nothing atm but... wow! Thanks so much for that! <3 Thought I'd drop a little update on how things are so you all know whats coming.

First of all, I've made two character introductions so far, yippee! Which leaves me with two more to make to really get this started. Although, I should state here that they're technically not the only ones in the mansion. I'll probably be providing some sort of guide of where the timeline is with the blog or some kind of master list of who all is in the mansion and can be asked about or mentioned in asks. But, for those curious, the first four who will be available are Jeff, Leo, Sally, and our skinny legend man himself. Others who are present but not yet available for asks will be Laughing Jack, The Rake, Seedeater, EJ, Ben, Gold, and Jason.

Second of all, whether Toby will be part of this is... a weird situation. I've heard this and that, and the creator themself was anything but clear on their wishes from what I'd seen. So, if anyone has any form of info on what the truth is or their own thoughts on the situation, shoot me a message.

Lastly, I am doing my best to work on the first comic while setting this up, I swear. When I first made this blog, the comic was still in the final stages of writing, which means production will be starting soon, but that's a really hard soon. Again, I am one person with friends who, at the moment, are just peer reviewing my stuff and letting me know if there's any tweaking that's needed. All I can ask for is for those who have followed me so far to just bear with me and maybe let people you know who likes creepypasta and comics know about this project! The more support I can get and the more hype I see for all this gives me the motivation and energy to work on this more. Of course, I'm also being held against my will to not burn myself out, which I'm thankful for tysm my besties.

And so that's the update! I hope it's not too disappointing, but it's better than radio silence, right? If you have any questions at all don't hesitate to send an ask about it. I love talking about my works, and it'll make me less like I'm just leaving you folks in the dark on all this. Sorry for the long post, but yeah! have a nice day

#creepypasta #ask blog #update #webcomic update #webcomic #indie writer #indie #indie comics

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namedaftercommunists · 2 years

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Sushi and Gold [Sanzu Haruchiyo]

Masterlist If you want, here are a few playlists to listen to as you read this chapter: (*) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzNVF2aoifs&t=1239s (**) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gjpc8nqmdrs&t=1925s I am fully aware that Noda Tadao, a made-up person, is not the owner of Ginza Ichibun, an actual restaurant. Though that is the case, I don't like using real ppl names. Makes me feel weird lol. Also, everyone say thank you to my irl friend, sweets, who proofread this massive chapter despite it being New Year's Eve :D

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(*) ‘My eyes feel heavy’

I open my eyes only to see the passenger window, the tinted window made the city look darker than it is, saving me the headache of having to look through several glaring lights. My eyes shift attention to look at my reflection, irritated as I notice the heavy bags underneath my eyes. Though even more annoying was the identity of the silhouette driving me, so much so that I couldn’t help but let out a tiring groan.

I wipe a hand under my chin only to see small traces of vomit on the palm of my hand once I had retracted it. The vehicle had a faint smell of vomit, drugs, and alcohol to it, no doubt permeating from me.

‘This is the second time this month.’

The sound of the night city had been faintly drowned out, a soft and sad sounding, an English song playing from the car’s radio filling the silence between me and my driver; Yukioto.

From the reflection, I could faintly see her tapping her pointer finger to the rhythm of the song before slowing down the car and stopping as she and a few other cars wait for the green light. “Good evening boss.” It seemed she noticed me staring at her, even if it was through the reflection of the window.

“The other executives couldn’t find you, and you weren’t answering your phone, so a few of us were sent out to find and bring you back.” she voiced out, before shifting her eyes back to the road and the stoplight. Her form was relaxed, seemingly not bothered about the whole situation. ‘She wanted nothing to do with me four months ago.’ I thought before shifting my body to sit in a more comfortable situation, this time facing the road.

“Ueno is pretty far from the Casino. You found me just like that, or did you install a tracker on me after the 7th pick-up?” She chuckled a bit at this before moving the car forward again after the green light showed. “Taito City was my 4th stop. I checked Shinjuku, Kabukicho, and Roppongi. I didn’t know you frequented a bar in Ueno, it was Sir Rindou who told me.” A tsk leaves me after hearing it was Rindou who snitched on me. ‘I changed locations to get away from you’.

I don’t know what her deal is, but she keeps on finding me whenever I go off and do my own thing. Not only that but she had never complained during these drives, which had been going on for nearly 4 months now. ‘I’d be pretty pissed off if I had to drive around the entirety of Tokyo looking for a druggy, only for him to vomit on me for the second time that month’ A sigh leaves me.

“So this time you searched for me, for like what, 3 hours? The others must be paying you a lot for you to babysit me” she chuckled again at this, shifting her eyes to look at me. “I volunteered,” she says before adjusting the volume of the radio when we get to a busier part of the road. “Awe, do you like me?” I ask playfully, not expecting any answers from a very obvious joke.

“Honestly? No, not really” She answers. My brows lifted in shock at this as she continues to do her job, not seeing anything wrong with what she just said. “Damn, I knew you hated me and all that but you didn’t have to say it outright,” I said irritated turning my head to the passenger window again after blatantly being disrespected.

She laughs at my reaction before starting again “It’s not that I hate you, boss. I kinda find it relaxing just driving around Tokyo with you”. “Then why the rude confession?” I ask, turning my head slightly back to her.

“I can’t like something I know nothing about, boss. That would just be me lying don’t you think?’ she says before throwing me a look that just screamed. “I telorate your-” “Tolerate” I corrected her as she laughs the mistake off before continuing. “I tolerate your presence, and I’m enjoying your company, but I can’t say that I like you because I don’t know anything about you. Nothing, outside your name and your apparent substance abuse” I scoff at the last part, rolling my eyes at her small jab.

“Don’t you get tired of it?” I ask, gauging her reaction. A confused look shows on her face, not quite knowing as to what I’m referring to. I move my hand to gesture to my sleep-deprived face, my slightly crumpled Eikokuya suit, the slight smell of liquor and vomit that permeated from me, and my Yohei Fukuda dress shoes, which I’m pretty sure had bits of puke still left on the foot of my shoe.

“Like I said I don’t know anything about you. It’s also my job to make sure you’re okay, so I put up with it” I raise a brow at this, not seeing the correlation between the two. She notices this and clarifies her answer “It’s my job as your driver, and maybe future valet, to make sure you’re okay, and that you get transported to where you need to be. I can’t drive someone to their destination if they’re dead can I?” she laughs before she continues.

“ I don’t know you, therefore I can’t judge as to why you do take drugs. Happy people don’t usually take drugs, and that’s because they don’t need it. I won’t blame another person if that’s how they like to cope. I only ever judge if taking drugs makes them violent and end up hurting innocent people” A bitter laugh leaves me after the last sentence. “Then I guess you do hate me” I mutter.

“How come?’ she asks, slowing the car down when going over the crosswalks. “Drugs does a lot when it comes to heightening your bloodlust” I voice, coming into eye contact with her briefly when she turned her head slightly to face me. “Isn’t that your job though?” “The killing?” I ask, not knowing where this could be going. She nods and I hum in confirmation. “Then it’s not the drug’s fault is it?’ she says before turning to look at me as if that were obvious.

“So you don’t care that I kill to make a living?” I ask amused by this. “We gotta do what we gotta do,” she says before shrugging her shoulders. “Besides I’ve been your driver for four months now, not to mention sir ran and sir rin’s for two more. I’m not exactly a saint so I can’t judge too much” She snickers at this before reaching down to her pocket and giving me a small pack of wet tissues.

I eye the packet in her hand before looking back at her. She took note of my confusion before gesturing to her face. "You wiped your chin before," she says, referring to when I woke up and found small traces of vomit near the bottom of my jawline.

I take the pack of wet wipes from her and proceeded to clean my face, my hands, and the foot of my right shoe of puke, before stuffing it in the empty wrapper of a chocolate wafer snack shoved in the door pocket.

ChocoMucho° Milk chocolate; Caramel; Wafer Roll; Cereal Crispies

ChocoMucho

Mucho

' Happy people don’t usually take drugs, and that’s because they don’t need it.'

A scoff unintentionally left me, but thankfully Yukioto didn't seem to care that much about it. I look to the window again seeing the different shops and signs passing by as we drove, lights bled and blurred before you could make sense of the words written. This had continued for a moment or two before my eyes catch the cart of a street vendor selling takoyaki.

"I'm hungry" I complain, my head still turned to the window. A hum of acknowledgment leaves Yukioto "Do you have anything in mind?" I think about my options for a bit before settling on something "I'm craving sushi" I answer, repositioning myself and putting a particularly good restaurant in the car GPS. "I'll pay for you so don't worry about it" I continue before leaning back to my seat.

"Nice, it's been a while since I've had sushi," she says, lightly tapping her stomach with her left hand to exaggerate. It was only then that I paid closer attention to her clothing, more so her shirt in particular.

"Nice shirt" "Really? I think so too. Sir bought it for me," she says her eyes momentarily shifting from the road and to the shirt, her left hand going down to pinch and feel the soft black fabric of it. "Sir?" I ask not knowing who in particular that could be. "Sir Ran" she clarifies, a smile appearing on her lips.

"Oh yeah! You drove him around a few times, haven't you? I remember both he and his brother gushing out about how you drove them out of a shitty situation" This made her eyes brighten a little bit more, seemingly happy that the Executives think of her driving as great enough to talk about to others. "I'm glad they liked my driving, I was worried they hated me bc I drove too roughly back in Shimada," she says, a nervous chuckle leaving her as her left-hand scratches the back of her head.

"It's pretty obvious they think highly of you given the fact that what you're wearing right now is a MIYAGIHIDETAKA bandana shirt" I pointed out, propping up my chin with the palm of my hand.

"Is that a big brand? I don't know too much about clothing brands, to be honest. I usually just spend money on accessories and jewelry back in the day" she awkwardly chuckles at this before jokingly continuing "I like shiny things".

"You do?" I ask, a bit shocked considering she's not wearing any accessories right now. 'But now that she mentions it' I thought before studying her features even more. With her hair tied up, you can see now how many holes she's had pierced on her ears, around 7-8 of them if you count both ears. 'And yet she hasn't got a single earring worn, must be broke because of prison'

It's not before we pull up to the restaurant. Ginza Ichibun. With our growing appetite, we wasted no time going out of the car, but Yukioto seemed to falter for a moment. "What's wrong?" I ask, expecting the worst. "Doesn't this restaurant require you to make a reservation first?" She voiced her concern.

' Damn, and here I am thinking you just saw someone point a gun at me.' "I have my ways," I say, a grin showing on my face before waving my hand forward gesturing her to continue walking in the direction of the restaurant.

"You've been here before?" I ask, she opened the front door for me to go through. "I have, a few others and I ate dinner here this one time" she replies a fond smile appearing on her face.

"So you're getting along with the other drivers here in Bonten?"She looks at me confused for a moment before finally letting out a small laugh once she understood. "I meant before Bonten, boss. My team and I got dinner here when we got spoiled by our sponsor." She says smiling again. 'So you lived a high profile life,' that's interesting to think about.

"You--" "Sanzu-san!" I get cut off with a happy greeting from the restaurant's owner, Noda Tadao. He was a chubby man in his early sixties but doesn't look a day older than 40. He had a great sense of style when it came to both cooking and fashion, and I was pretty sure that was his secret in how he maintained looking young. Noda has also been a devoted Bonten follower, having been one of the first few businesses that had been, and still is, under Bonten's protection when the gang first started.

"Noda-san!" I greet back as we make small talk to one another, how the restaurant has been, how the weather had been faring, how bidding for quality tuna had been getting more expensive recently 'I'll have to look into that.' I thought.

"Oh, where are my manners, you must be starving! Come come, and have your guest come with you. You'll be thrilled to know that we recently bought the meatiest salmon there was on the market" He says before motioning the both of us to sit at the table.

We hadn't been the only ones in the establishment, but thankfully they minded their business. The room was lit in a beautiful yellow light and the L-shaped table was still smooth to the touch despite them having owned the table for what felt like years now. It was then when we were both seated did the sushi chef pass us the menu for today.

"I shouldn't bother you too much while you're eating, I do hope you have a lovely time Sanzu-san" I nod at Noda, an appreciative smile on my face before he takes his leave. It was a few moments after skimming the menu did I feel a light tap on my shoulder. I turn my head to face Yukioto, who had a look of awe on her features when she looked at me.

"You're really cool, Boss" she whispers making sure not to bother the other clients. The fact that I could just walk up to any fine dining establishment and eat without a reservation was astonishing to Yukioto, and she made sure to express that sentiment to me by looking awestruck. I let out a small laugh at this before motioning the sushi chef to me and placing my order. "Well if you continue to hang out with me more, you'll know that I'm super awesome," I say half-jokingly before letting her give her order to the chef.

The food had been amazing as always, and the temperature had been turned up a bit to battle the cold august air outside. The yellow lighting was nice, having bathed everything including the walls, the table, the food, Yukioto, in a warm sunny glow.

She and I talked a bit more, getting to know one another in the most mundane of things. "Why the centipede tattoo?" "I just thought they were cool, they're like snakes but with a lot of legs". "Why the pink suit?" " I went to the tailor with Ran and Rin. They picked out the style for me". We talked about how great this dish was, how that one was a bit too spicy for me, how she was allergic to shrimp and had to give her dish to me, so on and so forth. It had been a lovely time, just laughing with one another and knowing what the other thought of at the time.

The rain had started sometime during dinner and without an umbrella to share, we ran to the car. I had covered my head with the jacket of my suit while she had pulled up the back of her shirt to cover hers. The sound of our shoes running against wet pavement, and the sound of our carefree laughter filled the sidewalk before we took refuge in the car.

Once we sat down on our seats another set of laughter was coaxed out of us, laughing at the absurdity of it all. Yukioto half-heartedly complained about her now dirty white puma shoes and I do the same in regards to my dress shirt, now soaked on the upper half portion of the fabric.

(**) The mood was light-hearted, everything seemed to be where it needed to be. The soft pitter-patter of the rain hitting the roof of the car, the muffled sound of wet pavement, and the plashing of water as the car tires go through it, and a muffled lone strike of thunder could be heard as the rain continued to pour. Several vendors and shops had started closing down for the night, bulbs being turned off as the light of the streetlamps grow brighter. People could be seen going in and out of shops in haste, needing shelter or in a rush to get to their vehicles. The car slowed down for a bit as we followed behind another, car lights shining and giving life to the otherwise lonely road.

At the corner of my eye, I see a jewelry shop, still bright and open for business. “Yukioto-san, stop here.” A hum of acknowledgment leaves her before she turns the car around to park in front of it. I take off my seatbelt and put my hand on the car handle before noticing Yukioto not doing the same, her hands were both on the steering wheel with only her head tilted in my direction.

I motion my head out, signaling for her to come along. “C’mon I need your help with something” She nods her head at this before turning off the car and taking off her seatbelt. We both ran to the store, both our clothes and shoes become more soaked.

A small bell rings along with our laughter once we get inside. A greeting was given by the attendant work and Yukioto nods in her direction. She proceeds to wipe her shoes on the doormat and I do the same unconsciously, before looking around the place. Her eyes seemed to have the brightest stars trapped in them and I chuckle at this before going deeper into the store.

We went in different directions, but the establishment was small so I could always see her from the corner of my eye. I went to the display cases that held earrings in them looking for what I thought to be the best fit. They had come in different designs, materials, colors, and gems, though one, in particular, caught my eye.

It was a set of gold drop earrings that dangled a small bit from the ear, and at the end held a small sun charm. Accompanying them were a pair of small stud earrings made of the same material, but instead of a sun charm, they had on them a crescent moon for design.

I call over the attendant before pointing to the product. Having already chosen I make my way over to Yukioto, only to see her eyeing a necklace displayed in the left-hand corner of the shop. It was a thin gold necklace that held a small gold charm, warped to look similar to that of the shape of an olive. In the upper point of the shape laid a small diamond held in place with the same gold of the design.

Her eyes had been fixated on it, not noticing my presence from behind her shoulder. I call the attendant over and that seemed to snap her out of it. I tell the employee to bring this one to the counter as well and this seemed to shock Yukioto.

“Why are you looking at me like that? It was obvious that I’d buy you something from here right at the start” I pointed out before grinning after seeing her look more taken aback by this. “I thought you were buying something for a lover of your’s” I burst out laughing after this statement, her face becoming more confused by the second. “I’m glad you think of me as someone who can hold a relationship, but even you, whose obligation is to look after me, are having a hard time keeping up. I’d pity the woman who would actually be my girlfriend.” I joked before motioning her to come with me to the counter.

Having signed and checked the quality of the products up close, I pull out my black card and paid for the accessories. Yukioto seemed to look at the necklace anxiously, most probably thinking about how she could pay me back. Noticing this I sigh before motioning her closer to me.

She does so, and I take out the necklace from its foam casing and slip it on her. I move her hair away and take out the earrings, attaching them to her as she stood still, after which I took a step back and looked at her from a distance. The patterns on her shirt drowned out the necklace a bit, but both the necklace and the earring looked good on her.

I ask for the attendant to just put the casings in the bag as Yukioto would be wearing them instead of putting them back. She nods at this before doing as she was told before swiping my card and giving it back to me along with the receipt.

The rain had let up just a tiny bit while we were shopping and we ran back to the vehicle after putting the bag under my suit jacket to make sure it stays relatively dry. Once inside I had noticed the change of mood and atmosphere from before. It was no longer the carefree and light ambiance we had before the gift. ‘Did I mess up? Should I not have bought her a gift? Was that too much? But technically she’s been helping me for months now so this was just a small payment in return for her services. Should I take it back?’ I thought, but before I could retract the sentiment I get cut off.

“Thanks, boss. You’re pretty awesome” Her face had been turned away from me, making me unable to properly know what type of expression she had been wearing. Although judging from the light shade of red that showed at the tips of her ears gave enough of a hint as to what she was feeling.

Noticing this I scoff, a light blush going over my cheeks before turning away from her -and to the passenger window- to hide it. “Told you,” I say, and this seemed to pull a small laugh from her before she starts the car and drives away from the store.

#!employeeoftheyearseries #oc #bonten #sanzu x oc #sanzu haruchiyo #mikey x oc #ao3 fanfic

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1kook · 3 years

Text

ZOOM CALL

⇢ meeting two

jeon jungkook x (f) reader

⇢ series masterlist

summary: Most notably, there’s one group project waiting for you, which leads you to Friday. Sitting at your desk, bright and early, absolutely dreading being assigned to your group. genre: fluff, slice of life, smut (tags tba) warnings: ITS A SLOW BURN OKAY...., sweetheart jk, campus crush jk, college crushes, social distancing, zoom -_-, jk owns a keroppi plush, oc thirsts over his hot bod, jk’s sweet attempts at flirting </3 he’s just 2 cute for his own good ratings: e for everyone <3 wc: 3.7k

notes: this took long bc i wrote one version but it was SO LAME u guys r lucky my friend and editor ( @kigurumu 🖤 ) stopped me from posting it. so then i had to reorganize my thoughts n b like girl. the ppl are waiting. get it together. anyway here’s zoom jk 😎

Being grouped with Jeon Jungkook (he/him) for your first class on the first day of your first Zoom semester truly sets the standard.

By no means do your other classes suck; they’re quite enjoyable, more relevant to your area of study. They’re familiar which makes them comfortable, your Zoom meetings filled with faces you’ve seen time and time again the last four years. The material interests you, so you definitely don’t have anything against them or your classmates.

That being said, no one is prepared for the awkwardness that comes with each and every Zoom meeting. You never thought you’d be embarrassed to turn your mic on— to speak in a class filled with your peers. And the meetings are all like that, filled with uncomfortable silences and endless black screens.

You wish there was a Jeon Jungkook (he/him) in every class.

Jungkook’s just got this bubbly aura to him, this magnetic presence that staples itself into the back of your mind with each passing day. No one fills a Zoom call like he does, making every person laugh and smile like him.

Wednesday rolls around and you find yourself a little disheartened when you don’t get sorted into the same randomized group as him again. Disappointment melts into annoyance when you find out how incompetent your other classmates are, refusing to speak in the small group or just completely clocking out all together. A lot of them didn’t do the reading— the one you stayed up all night doing —and your first partnered assignment of the semester finds you doing it all by yourself. Muted mics, black windows, complete radio silence; you hated it all.

You find yourself weirdly longing for Jeon Jungkook’s presence, even if he’s only there to talk about some movie he saw last night. No one is as much of a chatterbox as him, can’t even hold a candle to the way he draws everyone in with his mindless conversations. At least he speaks during Breakout Rooms, you think bitterly.

Anyway, the first week of classes ends and your brain is a frenzied mess. There’s schedules to memorize, professors to impress, assignments to plan out. There’s definitely no time to sit around and fantasize about the curly haired cutie in one of your general classes. The weekend is spent trying to organize your planner, filling in due dates and exam days ahead of time. It’s your last semester and you’re dead set on making it your best one yet. There’s a lot of written work this time around, analyses and research papers that need to be organized. The road ahead is manageable, but you’ll have to work hard to keep it that way for the next five months.

Most notably, there’s one group project waiting for you, which leads you to Friday. Sitting at your desk, bright and early, absolutely dreading being assigned to your group.

Jungkook is early this time, not like on Monday where he’d been one of the last to filter in, and he’s looking as chirpy as ever. Donning this horrendously hot pink shirt, completely unlike the neutral tones he’d worn during your last two meetings and that decorate his room, and the cutest pair of circle glasses sitting on his nose. He says his regularly scheduled ‘good morning’ to you all and receives a collective response from the rest of the class that not even your professor got.

Speaking of the professor, you’ve been giving him the stink eye this whole time. Not that he can tell, given the fact he’s probably miles away in his own home while you angrily glare at him through your webcam. It’s this old guy who’s decided to sort you all into semester long groups for the class, which is the absolute worst. These types of groups always go the same way: you make a group chat promising to study together, those plans fall through, and then everyone just leeches off of each other for homework answers. And in most cases, it’s you handing over your homework answers because no one else ever bothers to do anything. Sadly, it’s a routine you’ve had to suffer through many times in your academic career.

The thought makes you sick. Having to spend another semester being labeled as the bossy, nerdy dictator of the group? Not exactly how you wanted to spend the last few months of college, but there’s nothing you can do. Maybe this time around you’ll just let it be, won’t fight it (and by it, you mean your lazy classmates when they inevitably try to guilt trip you for homework) and simply let it run its course.

“I’m going to put you guys into Breakout Rooms with your new groups!” your professor claps excitedly, and then you and the rest of your classmates are forced to watch him lean too close to the camera as he begins clicking around to find the preset groups he’s assigned the class. “Remember, guys, this is it for the rest of the semester. So if something isn’t right, let me know by the end of today.”

Man, this was going to suck, you groan. The syllabus had said that the purpose of these groups was to keep you all connected with your classmates during these trying times, to give you the same opportunities in-person learning would. Frankly, you’re not too worried about making friends with everyone in this large class. Most of them are younger than you anyway, save for Jeon Jungkook (he/him) and a handful of others who are apparently in your year. Befriending lowerclassmen only to have to bid them adieu in a few months seems awfully sad, a little too heartbreaking. You really just want to get a good grade in this class, collect the last of your credits, and put this whole college experience behind you.

Your thoughts are wrapped up by the pop-up message that appears on screen.

The host is inviting you to join a Breakout Room: Group 12

You sigh, contemplate dropping this class for all of two seconds, before dutifully accepting the request. Worse comes to worst, you make up some lie to tell your professor that you’re allergic to group work and hope it works. (It won’t.)

You sit through the mandatory loading screen for a few seconds before being abruptly dumped into your new room, Group 12, or so the message had said. There’s no one else here yet, which isn’t really a surprise. A lot of your classmates are probably like you, scowling at the pop up message every time your professor sends you into small groups before accepting the request. So you chill by yourself, eyes tracing over your own mirrored image. The notes on last night’s reading are neatly laid out before you, your copy of the book off to the side.

Another beat and then, much to your surprise, Jeon Jungkook (he/him) is appearing in your room. “Oh,” he says, round eyes magnified by the thick lens of his glasses, the glare of the computer’s glow casting a funny shape across the lens that momentarily robs you of his pretty eyes. His pretty pink lips stretch into a smile, upper lip thinning out a bit when he flashes you those perfect teeth. “Hi, __,” he greets politely, bubbly.

It’s embarrassing how much his presence affects you, your back going ramrod straight in a terrible attempt to compose yourself. “Hi, Jungkook,” you manage to get out, fingers nervously reaching for something, anything, to ground yourself. They land on a pencil.

Jungkook doesn’t seem even the slightest bit aware of the commotion he causes within you. “I was really nervous for these groups,” he begins rambling right away, lips pushing down into an exaggerated frown as he shivers at the memory. “But I’m glad I got placed with someone hardworking like you!”

Despite how sweet he sounds, you’re not entirely sure if he’s buttering you up just to take advantage of your ‘hardworking’ attitude later down the road or if he’s genuinely being polite. The little information you know about Jungkook wants you to believe it is the latter; he’s very kind, sweet and nice in a way that makes everyone he speaks to feel warm. Still, for all you know this could be some elaborate ruse of his to make you trust him now and then convince you to do all the work for the rest of the semester.

Tentatively, you ask, “and how would you know that?” You try your best to keep your usual snappiness out of your voice, pose it simply out of curiosity. But everything you say or do feels like a stark contrast to Jungkook and his bubbliness.

His head tilts cutely to the side, imploring brown eyes looking at you for one hard second. And then, “I read your forum analysis from Wednesday,” he admits, breaking into a smile. Shy and tiny, bashfully looking down at his desk. “I thought your perspective on the piece was really interesting,” he says, lips pursing together as if he’s suddenly too embarrassed to admit such things to you.

Stunned, all you can manage is one slow nod. “Thank you,” you eventually choke out, trying to ward the heat away from your cheeks as Jungkook sheepishly nods back, cute smile still on his face.

“Oh, please,” he chuckles, raising his hand to rub at the back of his neck. “Don’t thank me!”

It is in this exact moment that you are suddenly made aware of two things.

One: despite his collection of soft sweaters and t-shirts, his bouncy curls and sweet smile, Jeon Jungkook’s body is neither as cute nor as soft as any of his belongings. In fact, Jeon Jungkook’s body is all hard planes and prominent veins. Arms beefy, biceps that bulge beneath the fabric of the short sleeve t-shirt he’s donned today. His shoulders fill out the material nicely, making him look broad and huge, but that’s not even the worst part, because—

—two: Jeon Jungkook is covered in ink. Dark streaks and swirls paint his forearms, curling around his elbow. Every inch of his pale skin is littered with tiny designs. They dance along the back of his hands, over his knuckles, and end at an unidentifiable point beneath the sleeve of his t-shirt. When he tugs at the neckline of his shirt in an effort to readjust it, you hope your eyes are deceiving you and that isn’t a hint of ink by his collarbone.

Your normal composure seems to slip away at the mere thought.

It’s Jungkook’s voice that brings you back, a soft timbre that asks, “aren’t we supposed to have someone else in our group?” You flinch as if you’ve been caught ogling him, never mind the fact he’s started mindlessly shuffling some papers around on his desk, not the slightest bit concerned with you.

“Oh— um, yes. I think,” you stammer, feeling like some creep for ogling your very cute, very sweet classmate. The memory of his inky skin nearly sends a shiver down your spine as you navigate back to the class syllabus. “We’re supposed to have at least three people,” you read off, glancing at the boy on your screen who frowns at the news.

“Do you think they dropped?” Given it was still only the first week of school, probably. There had been a fewer number of people in the call when it started, you remembered. Jungkook sighs, this rather light sound that ends in a hum. “Well, we can always wait a few minutes just in case.”

So you wait, nervously bouncing your leg up and down. It’s not awkward, or at least, not as awkward as it would be with anyone else. The other week you had silently sat with another classmate in a one-on-one discussion and hadn’t uttered a word for five minutes. It wasn’t because you didn’t care about the class, but because said classmate had been tapping away on their phone the entire time and hadn’t even responded to your simple greeting. That was awkward.

With Jungkook it’s more weird than awkward. You can tell the silence makes him uncomfortable because he keeps doing these tiny inhales like he’s about to speak, followed by a little head shake where he seemingly stops himself from saying anything at all. He wants to talk, very badly it seems, but holds back for some odd reason.

He’s scribbling on some sheet of paper, leaning forward to give you a view of the top of his head. From this angle, his shirt hangs forward and a silver necklace falls out from beneath the neckline, thuds against the table. And then your suspicions are nearly confirmed, and oh god, is that a chest piece—

You quickly look away.

Robbed of his handsome face and feeling like you’ll die if you look at his body any longer, you settle for your newly acquired favorite pastime: inspecting your classmates’ rooms over Zoom. Yes, you’ll admit it is incredibly nosy, but what else can you do? You can only look at your professor for so long until you inevitably grow bored, attention drifting off to your classmates tiny windows. And with no professor in sight, just gorgeous Jeon Jungkook, you quickly begin your examination of his bedroom.

Jungkook’s room is pretty much the same as you remember it, rather neat and plain. There’s not a lot going on in terms of decoration, which is a little surprising to say the least. Over the course of the week, you’ve watched your classmates’ dormitories and bedrooms gradually change, decorations and tapestries decorating the walls, mountains of pillows added to their beds. It’s only natural that everyone has an innate need to show off who they are now more than ever, and you thought Jungkook would be the same.

Apparently not.

Aside from the guitar you had spotted on Monday, his little dorm room remains unchanged. Blank walls, grayscale sheets. The same perfectly fluffed pillows and then—

A tiny Keroppi plush smack dab in the middle of his bed.

It’s adorable but a little out of place amongst Jungkook’s rather masculine decorations (or lack thereof). A tiny green doll sitting by his pillows, cute striped shirt and ridiculously dopey smile.

Leaning forward, you unmute yourself and conversationally say, “I love your Keroppi.”

At the sudden sound of your voice, Jungkook abruptly straightens up, glasses practically at the very tip of his nose. Eyes wide, it takes him a second to process your words before jerkily whipping around to stare at the aforementioned item. “Oh,” he jumps, slowly looking at his screen again, lips pulled into a tight line. “Um… it’s not mi—“

“It’s adorable,” you add, propping your chin in your palm, absolutely endeared with the rosy color that paints his cheeks, fades down the column of his neck.

He squirms, hurriedly pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He looks like he’ll deny it again, nervously nibbling at his lower lip, before eventually he settles with a sigh. “I won it from a crane machine,” he confesses with a sheepish huff of laughter, rolling backwards to the edge of his bed to snatch it from its spot.

(Of course he manspreads as he sits, dark jeans hugging his thighs as he rolls back your way. His arm looks so strong, covered in all that ink, you nearly drool.)

“It’s cute, isn’t it?” he says, abandoning his embarrassment as he shakes the little figure around, makes it look like it’s dancing for you. “My mom said it looks like me.”

At that, you laugh. Loud and boisterous because you were definitely not expecting Jungkook to say that, such an odd but weirdly fitting comparison that has you looking at the doll in his hands with renewed interest. And through the pixelated screen, you can see the similarities: Jungkook does have the same smile as Keroppi.

“Your mom was right,” you agree, wiping a faux tear from the corner of your eye. “Very cute.”

Jungkook’s got this big goofy smile on, shaking his head in disbelief that you would ever dare agree with his mom. Like he’s genuinely enjoying himself, you think, oddly proud to have evoked that reaction from him. Granted, Jungkook always looks like he’s pretty happy during class, but it feels nice knowing that you were (confirmed) the reason why.

A little caught up with the bumbling feeling in your chest, you’re not expecting his next words. “Does that mean I’m cute?” he asks, still with that same dopey smile on his face.

It’s a bold statement you wouldn’t have expected from him, someone who seems content being the world’s friend, but apparently Jeon Jungkook also craves compliments.

Slowly, you nod. “...yes,” you say, trying to keep the tumultuous emotions inside of you at bay while you grant him this one compliment. Outwardly, you give him what you hope is an obviously feigned look of disbelief, managing to lace it with a little amusement as you shake your head at his inquiry. On the inside, your mind and heart are a thundering racetrack, the roar of the engines and the screams of the crowd enough to momentarily make you lose your senses. “Very cute,” you repeat, hoping he can’t hear the same pounding of your heartbeat in your throat and in your ears as you do. “Like a little frog.”

Jungkook graces your robotic response with the most boyish laugh, head tossed back as one loud cackle (because, really, there is no other way to describe the sound that tears itself from his throat) escapes him, curls bouncing back from the movement. “Cute like a frog,” he wheezes, seemingly to himself as he shakes his head with a grin, scooting closer to the camera again. “That’s a new one.”

“You set yourself up for it,” you defend, busying yourself with the papers spread out in front of you before Jungkook can distract you any further. “Anyway!” you announce, neatly lining the papers up. “Our group.”

Jungkook does his best to wipe the glee off his face, but even as he reaches around for his things, it’s still there. “Right,” he agrees, “we have to, um—“ a huff of laughter “—group contract! Or, well, partner project.”

Briefly, you consider calling in your professor to inform him of your missing partner. He had said to let him know by the end of today if something was wrong. But, honestly, you didn’t see a problem with your group the way it was now. While you can only hope he’ll turn out to be as dedicated to his work as you, as it stands now, there weren’t any major red flags surrounding Jungkook’s character.

Besides, you didn’t mind being with him for the rest of the semester.

You nod, forcing yourself to ignore the glimmer in his eyes when he looks at you through the screen. “I think it’s safe to say it’ll just be the two of us, which I don’t mind,” you say, glancing at the time on the corner of your screen to see five minutes have passed since you agreed to wait. “Do you?”

On screen, Jungkook profusely shakes his head, curls bouncing all over the place. “Nope,” he hums. “I don’t mind at all,” he reassures you, resting his chin in his palm as he regards you, and then sweetly adds, “it’ll be nice with just us, __.”

Right.

You gulp, heart fluttering at the dreaminess he exudes through your screen, the soft strand of hair that falls over his forehead, tickles his brow bone when he flashes you another smile. He was so handsome. Before you say anything silly, you quickly attempt to move on. “But it does make us more of a duo than a group.”

Jungkook looks away from his screen for the first time in what feels like forever and you finally let your heart rest for a second. “A duo,” he murmurs, shuffling through his papers. “Like Mickey and Minnie?”

You nearly choke on your spit, coughing to hide the surprise from his rather cute suggestion. He’s not even looking at you, doesn’t even realize the absolute shock he’s thrown you in by comparing the two of you to one of the most famous couples— that’s what they are, a goddamn couple, not a duo! the words mean two completely different things! —in the world. Instead, Jungkook is humming the theme song to Drake & Josh.

This man was dangerous for your heart.

After having felt all the emotions in the world in the span of ten seconds, you eventually gather the courage to say, “sure,” and quickly try to move the conversation along. “We just need to, um, make some ground rules and responsibilities for us to follow.”

Jungkook nods, finally glancing up again, but not at you. He’s glaring at some point behind his computer, brows furrowed together as he begins brainstorming on his own. You try to, really, but his lips pout adorably when he’s deep in thought, and they’re just so pink and look so soft and would feel like—

“Well, we should probably exchange numbers first,” Jungkook says, interrupting your spiraling thoughts with a new topic to spiral over. He tilts his head to the side, brown eyes focused on you.

“Yes, of course,” you stammer, fumbling for your phone as Jungkook lets out a soft yay at your acceptance of his request. Quickly, he recites his number and you type it in with trembling hands into the number pad, giving him a quick call so he can have your number as well.

You save him right away, just his name followed by the class you share with him. Not like you know any other Jeon Jungkooks, and if you did, you doubt anyone could ever leave such an impact like this Jeon Jungkook.

“__, look,” Jungkook calls, that same excitement lacing his already lovely voice, and you raise your head up at the screen again. He’s waving his phone over his camera, so you don’t get to see his face when he says, “It’s a little mouse emoji and a pink bow— just like Minnie!”

Dangerous for your heart and, most likely, the death of you this semester.

#networkbangtan #bangtanhq #jungkook fic #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #bts smut #bts fic #jjk smut #jeon jungkook smut #jjk♡#mine

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loki-hargreeves · 3 years

Text

Loki x Reader - Welcome Home to Westview

Warnings: WANDAVISION SPOILERS, mentions of death, angst and fluff Word Count: 2,8K Summary: You join Wanda when she drives to Westview. Next thing you know, you’re reunited with Loki who you lost years ago because of Thanos. He’s there to welcome you home 1950s style and make up for lost time. Author’s Note: This was requested and I absolutely loved this idea. I hope you like it! <3

YOUR POV

When everyone came back, it had been a miracle. Everyone who had vanished during the blip. Everyone who had vanished when Thanos had singlehandedly taken away half of all life. Most people were happy to have their loved ones back. Most people got someone back.

But that wasn’t your case, nor was it for Wanda. She came back into a world without Vision, you had to keep living without Loki. You always knew that he had died differently. Thanos had killed him and you had witnessed it. You should’ve known just how real it was, that he was gone. Seeing it should’ve been proof enough in order for you to move on and let go. Yet somehow, when the portals opened you had dared to feel hope. Deep down, you had hoped he too would’ve walked out of the golden gates with everyone else, but you had been wrong.

He had never come back.

You and Wanda had grown close during your time as Avengers. Recently, the two of you had grown even closer because of your shared grief. The two of you understood one another deeply and it connected you.

That’s why you had joined Wanda today. She was headed to SWORD headquarters where they were keeping Vision’s body. Everything about it was unsettling and you too felt angry about it. Something about SWORD was fishy and you didn’t trust their motives at all, neither did Wanda. All she wanted was to have a funeral for the man she loved.

You had agreed to wait in the car as she walked inside, but you kept glancing at the entry just in case you would have to walk in to support your friend. Time passed and eventually Wanda returned to the car alone. Even before she sat down, you could tell things hadn’t gone too well. She slammed the door shut and put her hands on the steering wheel tightly.

“Are you okay?” You were concerned for her well-being.

Wanda didn’t reply immediately. Her eyes scanned the parking lot and then she looked at the papers she kept in the backseat. For a while, she seemed to be deep in thought and you decided not to push her. Eventually, Wanda faced you.

“There’s something I need to do,” She stated mysteriously.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” Wanda sounded sure of herself, “I would like it if you came with me, if that’s okay.”

Usually, Wanda handled things on her own. She would push others away and never ask for help. But this seemed different. She was willing to accept your support, and you were more than happy to be there for her; no matter what.

“Okay, I’m right here for you, Wanda.”

Despite how frustrated and upset Wanda felt, she managed to smile. It was nice to have you by her side during such difficult times.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

The car ride was long, but it didn’t feel like it. Wanda and you weren’t talking and the car radio filled the silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, yet you could tell that something had gone terribly wrong. Once Wanda was ready to talk about it, you would be there for her. For now, your presence was more than enough.

Since you didn’t talk, you tried to focus on the songs on the radio to distract yourself from your own, deep thoughts. Sometimes, they would get the best of you and right now, you wanted to stay tuned in the moment, not in the past.

Eventually, you drove past a sign that said Welcome to Westview. It was a small town, but nice nonetheless. It looked old. Buildings were worn and the streets looked like they had been used for decades. The town had a lot of family-friendly places and small shops. You saw an old lady drinking coffee by herself and a man putting up flyers. No one seemed to pay too much attention to you as Wanda drove by everything slowly. You noticed that Wanda was eyeing the street names closely. Was she searching for something?

It didn’t take too long until Wanda took a turn to a street called Sherwood drive and slowed down the car, eventually coming to a stop. You noticed the foundation of a house that had once been there. The neighborhood around you was full of family homes and it had a very warm and cozy energy. As nice as your surroundings were, Wanda looked like she wanted to cry.

“Can you stay here? I need to do something on my own,” Wanda finally broke the silence. How long had you been in silence? You weren’t sure.

“Yeah. Just let me know if you need me, okay?” You wanted to reassure her of your support.

Wanda just nodded and reached to the backseat to grab a paper. With one last glance at you, she got out of the car and closed the door. You sat comfortably on your seat and turned the radio on a little louder as she walked away. The song that was playing was familiar, but you couldn’t quite put your tongue on the name of it. The lyrics were beautiful and you found yourself relaxing to the melody.

“... If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do, is to save everyday 'til eternity passes away just to spend it with you ...”

Naturally, you were worried about her. Wanda hadn’t spoken about what happened when she tried to recover Vision’s body. Clearly, things hadn’t gone too well. Had she even been allowed to see him?

As you sat there, you wondered how you would’ve felt if you had been in her shoes, if someone had Loki’s body and they wouldn’t let you have a funeral for him. Immediately, your gut twisted in disgust and pain. It seemed like a nightmare.

For all that you knew, Loki was somewhere in space, in the middle of nowhere, all alone. When the Guardians had heard the distress signal, they had only found you and Thor. Loki was nowhere to be seen. All the debris from the spaceship had made it nearly impossible to see and navigate through it all.

It had been years but it still hurt. Knowing he was left alone broke your heart, as if seeing him die hadn’t been soul crushing enough. You knew you would never get over losing Loki. He was and always would be the love of your life. Even if he wasn’t there, you always kept him in your heart. You were sure your very souls were connected. The love you had was just that deep.

Curiously, you looked out of the car window just to keep an eye on Wanda. She was standing in the middle of the ruins with the paper in her trembling hands. You couldn’t see what it said, but you knew it was important because once she looked at it, she broke down into tears. The sight of her there, all alone in so much pain was awful. For so long, she had been strong and kept on a tough face, but she had reached her breaking point. All the pain, the anger, the misery, it had gotten the best of her. You knew exactly how it felt and your first instinct was to get out of the car and go there to comfort her. How could you just sit there when she was sobbing on the cold hard ground all by herself?

When you got out of the car and looked at Wanda again, she was standing. Her powers were growing around her and a bright red light made you squint your eyes. What on earth was going on?

“Wanda?” You called out for her worriedly, unsure whether she could hear you from so far away. Her powers grew stronger at an alarming rate. You could feel just how strong the magic was and goosebumps rose on your skin. Something was terribly wrong and you knew things were getting out of hand. Despite how dangerous it was to approach something so chaotic and powerful, you tried to reach her. You never did.

Wanda’s powers were explosive. In the blink of an eye, her magic poured all around her and covered everything and everyone in sight. You remembered seeing that signature scarlet shade all around you and then everything went blank. It all happened so fast that you didn’t even have time to be scared, nor to use your powers to shield yourself from hers. The red swallowed you completely with no warning.

‘

What happened?

How did I get here?

You stood in front of Wanda and Vision’s house. Despite not remembering anything at all, you just knew that it was where she lived. Why were you just standing on her lawn? That was odd. You couldn’t remember getting there, but strangely enough, it didn’t bother you too much. You must’ve just taken a stroll and ended up at your best friend’s house. As strange as it was, you didn’t think twice about it.

With a smile on your face, you straightened the skirt of your silky dress and looked at your heels to see that they were dirt-free and shiny. After all, your outfit was brand new and you didn’t want to get the dirty right away, now did you?

“You look more beautiful than I remembered,” A familiar voice caught your attention. Your eyes widened as you stood there, now in shock. It had been too long since you had last heard that voice.

“Do you not recognize me? Has it been that long?” Loki walked closer to you from behind.

You turned around because you had to see him to make sure you had heard right. When you saw him standing there, you felt overjoyed.

Loki was alive!

“Oh my god,” You could hardly believe your eyes.

Loki opened his arms wide, inviting you to a hug. Once the initial shock passed, you ran into his strong and loving arms. Loki embraced you just like you remembered he had done before. His oh-so-familiar scent filled your lungs and you were drunk on him in an instant. Tears stung your eyes and you closed them, allowing yourself to sink into his touch and be fully enveloped by him once again.

“I missed you so much,” You admitted and felt a warm tear rolling down your cheek, ruining your makeup but you didn’t care at all. Loki had seen you, all of you. With him, you could be completely vulnerable.

Loki planted a kiss at the top of your head, then your forehead and the tip of your nose. His soft hands cupped your cheeks and you opened your eyes just to face him. His eyes were mesmerizing and dangerous. With just one glance, you were lost.

“I missed you too,” Loki let you know sincerely. You didn’t know where he had been, or why you had been separated. All you knew was that it had been years and now you were together again. That was all that mattered and you refused to think about the logic of it all. It felt like you could hope again. You could be happy.

A gentle breeze played with your skirt and with your hair. Loki looked like a god as he stood there in his black suit and tie, with his long dark locks swaying in the wind. Your heart was so full of love again and you felt happy, so happy that you kissed him.

Your lips collided sweetly and Loki kissed you back with such fiery passion that you felt as if your soul was on fire. The kiss was so romantic that you knew if a crowd would’ve been watching, they would’ve aww-ed. It would’ve brought people to tears.

Eventually, you had to break the kiss so you could breathe. Once you did, both of you smiled like never before. Loki couldn’t let go of you and you didn’t want to let go of him either.

“Let’s go home, shall we?” Loki proposed happily.

Home.

The word made your heart swell with affection.

“I’d love that,” You admitted, your mind already thinking about all the possibilities. You shared a home and you could spend the rest of your lives there together. You could have your own little family. Nothing could come between you ever again.

Loki offered you his arm for you to hold onto, which you gladly did. Together you turned away from Wanda and Vision’s home and began to walk to your own home. Somehow, you knew exactly where to go, like you had walked that path a million times before.

The walk was so relaxing. You and Loki held onto each other so comfortably and watched your neighbours, greeting them as you passed by. Everything seemed so peaceful; perfect. It was exactly where you wanted to be for all the rest of your days.

“So where were you all this time?” You asked Loki curiously. After all, he had been gone for a while now. As you tried to think about it, you felt distracted by his touch and just the sight of him. It was almost like something didn’t want you to poke your brain with a stick, so you tried not to get yourself puzzled.

Loki raised his eyebrows and hummed by himself, as if he had to really think about it in order to remember, “It’s a long story, my love. One I’ll tell you all about once we’re home. How does that sound?”

“It sounds like a great dinner topic,” You hinted at him. Dining together was always the highlight of your day.

It didn’t take long to walk from Wanda’s house to yours. After all, you lived on the same street. Your home was beautiful. It was spacious, so you and Loki wouldn’t outgrow it anytime soon.

Loki let go of you and he rushed to open the front door to you. “Ladies first,” He smirked to you and then looked inside.

“You’re such a gentleman,” You couldn’t help but to feel appreciated. Loki treated you like a queen, he always had. Then you walked inside.

Your eyes adjusted from the brightness outside to the dim lights inside. Loki closed the door and then you were both home. The place reflected the two of you so well, in every little detail. Someone had lit the fireplace when you were gone and you assumed it was Loki’s doing. Now that you were behind closed doors, you could use your powers without being seen.

“Did you-” Your sentence was cut short as you turned to face Loki again. He was standing behind you with a dozen roses and a box of chocolates. The sweet gesture took you by surprise and you forgot what you were going to ask.

“I know it isn’t much, but I want to make up for the time we lost. I hope this is the right path to your heart again, my love,” Loki explained as he handed the gifts to you, which you gladly accepted.

“Oh Loki, thank you,” You were moved by the gesture. “But I need you to know you’ve always been in my heart, and you always will be.”

Loki seemed relieved to hear those words, “as will you be in mine.”

Ding!

“What was that?” You were surprised by the sound that came from the kitchen.

Loki grabbed your empty hand and placed a soft kiss on your skin, “I do believe you mentioned something about dinner.”

Yet another surprise.

“When did you do that?” You were impressed by it all. He had really gone out of his way to make this day lovely - and you certainly weren’t complaining.

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” Loki replied with a grin and began to lead to you the dining room. You shouldn’t have expected any less from your husband.

“How very sneaky of you,” You rolled your eyes playfully. That’s when you noticed the lovely aroma in the air. Dinner smelled lovely and you hadn’t even seen it yet. Had he made your favourite?

Loki pulled a chair back for you to sit on. As you sat down, the plates, the food and all that appeared on the table out of nowhere just like magic. Yet another trick, one that was very useful too.

Your eyes followed Loki as he walked around the table and sat down opposite of you. Just then, the setting sun shone through the curtains. It brightened up the room beautifully and highlighted every beautiful aspect of Loki, especially his eyes. The sun was shining on you and dinner was ready.

“One more thing,” Loki remembered and quickly snapped his fingers, lighting the candles to set the mood, “now everything is perfect.”

He was right. Finally, the two of you were together under the roof of your home. What else could you have ever wished for?

“Perfect indeed.”

A/N: I hope you liked it! If you did, I would love to hear your feedback 🥺 I loved this concept so much that I want to write more, but for now I’ll keep this one short.

Forever Taglist: @iraniq @embrycallsgirl @blackroseyaz @badass-psycho @r-alexandra01 @p3aches13 @your-pixels-are-showing @disasterren @iamsuperjenna @yuna-belikova @ornella0910 @optimisticpeacecollector5 @thehumanistsdiary @your-pixels-are-showing @klanceiscannon14

Loki taglist: @yuna-belikova @ornella0910 @castiels-majestic-wings @lucywrites02 @myraiswack

#Loki #Loki x Reader #Loki x You #Loki fanfiction #WandaVision #WandaVision Spoilers #Loki angst #Loki fluff #Loki/Y/N #Loki/You #Loki/Reader #Loki oneshot #marvel fanfiction

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becomingbts · 3 years

Text

Time heals (sometimes) - 1

Summary: 6 years ago, (Y/N) thought that she was finally taking her life into her hands, leaving behind a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who taught her she’d never be worthy of love. However, it became hard to ignore his words when she met her seven soulmates who rejected her without even giving her a chance to prove herself. It took (Y/N) 3 years to realize that it wouldn’t be her end. She would live on to prove them all wrong; she would become what they all thought she wasn’t: someone worthy of love. And as she stands proudly on the stage, under the burning spotlights and the applause and the cries of the delirious crowd, she feels alive. Alive, just like the bond she believed to be broken.

Pairings: Y/N x OT7

GENRE: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series.

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Warnings: The series is going to be heavy with a lot of personal experiences mixed into the fiction, so this is going to be kind of therapeutic for me. Please, consider not reading the series if you are not comfortable with: abandonment issues, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, self-harm (not descriptive and only part of MC’s past), suicide thoughts (in the past), toxic behavior, toxic and abusive relationship (in the past), depreciating self-talk and low self-esteem, a lot of curse, physical and mental pain, near death experience situation (in the past), and maybe smut scenes (happy ending though, but it will probably be quite the ride).

NOTE: So hello everyone, welcome to Time Heals (sometimes). Thank you so, so much for the warm welcoming, it has been my first time getting so many asks, I was honestly overjoyed. I still don’t really know what to call this part; is it a teaser? A note? A full chapter? I believe we’ll get some snapshot of memories like this one throughout the series because there is going to be a lot to unpack on both sides. I think it will be a chapter nevertheless because I have to establish some kind of order as to which parts should be read first, and I think this one is extremely important.

Thank you for reading,

-Dolly

Profiles #2 - here - part 2

Her scream pierced through the air while cries broke in the frenzied arena while a single blond-haired man froze, emptily staring at the stage. It felt like his senses heightened; his skin was shuddering, his eyes were frantically searching for one specific figure while his voice was lost in his throat. The screams resonating in the stadium would have been too loud for his voice to be heard anyway.

Jimin knew he shouldn’t be there.

Namjoon had told them more than once that none of them should try to go to one of (Y/N)’s events. It could be dangerous and they could be overwhelmed; anything could happen to them and they would still remain a nobody who fainted in the howling crowd. Would they want to take this risk? No.

So, Jimin would have had to admit that going to her very first concert in Seoul since the pandemic sounded like a very, very, very bad idea. And to be honest, it still didn’t seem to be a bright idea now that he was actually there.

But he still went because he needed to see her for himself; to see how she was. He had so many things he dreamed about asking her. Are you okay? Are you sleeping well? Did you eat before coming to the arena? Are you nervous? Do you... remember me?

Maybe he was torturing himself. He kept on watching her lives, following her on all social media, always made sure to leave a sweet comment, and never miss any of her new updates... Maybe he even had a folder of pictures of her on his phone but he’d never admit it to any of his mates. Taehyung would probably take his phone away from him and delete everything and Jimin couldn’t let that happen.

He felt like it was cheating. Don’t take him wrong though. When he thought that, he was not really thinking about the boys. They did collectively agree not to follow her activities as an artist but it was getting harder and harder with how popular she got anyway. Moon was everywhere. In commercials, on the radio, her songs were on the TV… Even if she was known for refusing most of the promotional contracts that were offered to her, her image was still constantly in the media despite her avoidance of it. Ironic, but the media were trying their best to find anything about her, be it positive or negative. One day she was seen on her bike, the next, she was in a coffee shop, and it kept on going on, overstepping on her privacy as if it was just a meaningless word.

The lockdown had admittedly played a major part in Jimin’s obsession. Being in their apartment meant quickly running out of activities, and his job as a dance teacher was not really filling his free time (a lot of his classes were also canceled). It was also during that time that (Y/N) truly blew up as an independent artist. Advertisement on YouTube started being around her channel and her music, the recommendations he kept on seeing were about also her… Jimin’s resolve honestly broke easily. It was hard not to be curious about his lost soulmate even though he didn’t feel like he had the right to be hurting.

Anyway, to come back to his main point, if Jimin felt like he was cheating; it was mostly for her. After all, (Y/N) had no means of letting the curiosity get the best of her, to know what they were doing; to simply see or contact them. He had, at first, not really thought about that. Watching her content seemed a very innocent thing to do in his opinion; billions of people were watching her content, why should he prevent himself from doing so? Yet, Jimin could still remember one of her live she did soon after that interview she had given on this damned radio show where she had revealed who her title track ‘TIME’ was about… She had gone live the next day-Jimin had jumped on his phone because of the notification-and one fan had asked her what would she do if she knew that her ‘ex-soulmates’ (and those words left a very sour taste in Jimin’s mind) were watching her. The question had silenced a previously restless Jimin, replacing his initial excitation with dread while a lump formed itself in his throat. He had not even noticed it; he was so focused on her live and her upcoming answer that Jimin had completely missed the sound of a glass breaking in the apartment. Jimin had been home alone, so even if had indeed heard it, he probably wouldn’t have bothered to check what had happened, thinking that the wind knocked it over or something. Jimin had been so absorbed by what he had been watching that he even got surprised a few hours later when Seokjin came home and yelled at him for breaking something when he had been clearly innocent, engrossed in (Y/N)’s live (not that he could tell his soulmates about that part, but yeah). (Y/N)’s live would always be more important than some random glass breaking again in their apartment. Every object was doomed with Namjoon living here anyway.

On her side of the screen though, (Y/N) had seemed taken aback as she had read the question and had gritted her teeth gently. She had seemed to be pondering about her answer even though a lot of people in her chat were telling her to forget about the question if it made her uncomfortable (a lot were even scolding the person who asked). Yet, sighing softly, she had looked up at the screen:

“I’d appreciate it if you could refrain from asking questions on this topic. It’s not taboo but I’d rather not remember everything that comes with it. However, to answer this-hopefully-last question about it, I’d ask them to turn off my stream and to stop watching any of my content. It would only be fair after all. I’ve been denied access to their lives six years ago, why would they get a free pass into mine now?” She had not smiled nor had she seemed hurt by her own comment, yet Jimin’s heart had shattered in pieces, unable to press the cancel button.

Her voice had slowly faded into background noise while her words had been stuck in his head.

I’d ask them to turn off my stream and to stop watching any of my content.

How could Jimin ever do that? He realized that he truly should. Namjoon would even agree with you, as ironic as it sounded for Jimin. Namjoon had been one of the most adamant ones about rejecting your bond, after all. Jimin was shaking with bitterness while ‘Moon’ continued her stream peacefully with music. Jimin could only try to gulp his anger down as he remembered her crumbling features on that fateful day.

“You’re not our soulmates. This name on our arms means nothing to us. You are nothing to us if not a hindrance. Leave us alone.”

If Jimin could go back in time, he’d prevent Taehyung from spatting those words at her. Yet, he couldn’t do anything. Playing the scene over and over in his mind wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t change that she probably hated them. It wouldn’t change the song she made about them.

And worst of all, it wouldn’t change the fact that Jimin had let himself believe that their choice had been for the best, trying to console and reassure himself, even if he had already known that it was wrong. Tears were pooling up in his eyes even if none escaped as he finally caught a glimpse of her on the stage. Suddenly brought back to reality after his subconscious memory trip, Jimin finally connected back to the world, looking around while he was still frozen on his spot. People were still screaming around him and he wondered if he looked like an intruder. Because, after all, wasn’t that what he exactly was? She said it herself that she didn’t wish for them to watch her; so what was he doing here?

Jimin couldn’t help but stare; she looked ethereal, dressed like a queen in the middle of a sold-out arena. People were screaming her name as she yelled her infamous ‘hi people’. It was an opening sentence that Jimin heard way too many times in her vlogs and suddenly hearing it in real life seemed surreal.

Jimin could only watch in awe, entranced with her everything.

Screw the boys and what they would think once he’d be back from her concert.

He had been the one to find her six years ago anyway. He had been the one to bring her to their home six years ago, hoping for the boys to change their mind once they’d meet her.

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Uploaded : 09/04/2021

Taglist: @sweetmoonlight9, @mickmoon, @dreamer95, @loveyoongles, @spicetouched , @jikooksgirl19, @summerevelyn , @springjade , @clevercoley, @prooteus, @sehun096rainbow, @ainsle-e, @ifyouareme, @sunshinee0-0, @fangirl125reader, @sea-nevermind-enthusiast, @atlantis-atlas, @thequeen-kat, @naajix, @skyys-universe , @sichajeon , @yukiehyukie, @amxranthinesworld , @bunzom, @potate-oh, @mawwnsterr, @ celaenaelentiyavox, @dvoz-writes , @honeybaby-94 ,

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hereforhalstead · 3 years

Text

Showtime - Part 2

*Gif not mine, credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.

• Requested: Part 2!

• Warnings: Swearing

• Summary: Part 2 of being undercover with Adam, despite being in a secret relationship with Jay. You can find Part 1 here..

• Words: 2353

• A/N : Part 3 coming shortly as I know not much happened here but needed a filler! Also, kind of wish I had wrote this as being undercover with Kevin as that man really doesn’t get the recognition he deserves, but I got inspo when Hailey was undercover with Adam so will have to be one for next time!

***

“What’s the hold up?” you jump as Voight’s rough voice booms from behind you “The mic was playing up so just had to get it fixed, Sarge” Jay responds for the pair of you as you nod in agreement “Right well let’s get going. Jay you’re with Kim and Y/N, Adam is waiting for you in the car outside. Let’s move” he instructs before stomping past you, leaving you and Jay stood in an awkward silence “Good luck” he sarcastically offers with a grin on his face, you find his confidence amusing considering the night he is in for but decide to go along with his humor “Thanks baby, but I don’t need luck”.

“Sarge, we need a code word to listen out for” Hailey speaks across the radio, you pick up the one hidden under Adam’s seat to respond “Mocktail”. Adam looks at you with his bottom lip out and nods “Hey, that’s a good one” he reassures and you place the back of your hand under your chin to gloat “thank you, thank you”.

As you approach the club, Voight pulls over into a nearby road to hang back and is soon followed by Jay pulling up behind him to park his truck “You head inside, I’ll leave it a few minutes and follow you in” he directs to Kim who tousles her hair before walking off. Adam stops the car next to Voight’s and you wind your window down to allow him to speak “Jay and Kim will be close by and Kev, Hailey and I will be listening in. Any sign of trouble and you get out or say the word and we will be there” he orders and you can feel Jay staring at you from the other side of Voight “Don’t leave her alone in there, can’t be bothered going through the process of getting another partner” he confesses to Adam with a chuckle, Voight glances at him with a stern look on your behalf “Are you still here?” he asks and you try to hide the smile that is spreading on your face at the change in Jay’s confidence “I’m going” he huffs and exits the car.

Adam drives slowly alongside Jay as he traipses along the side walk, still with the window wound down Adam leans across to speak out of your window “Make mine a double water with a side of Lemon, will you?” he grins but Jay isn’t entertained “Careful or I’ll replace it with worse” he threatens back with a sarcastic smile “No tip for you then” Adam tuts before putting his foot down to speed towards the club “Who’s pissed him off?” he questions but you choose not to answer.

You watch as Jay walks in the back entrance, giving you a look over his shoulder before heading in. Adam hands the keys over to the valet before giving him some speech about how expensive the car is and if there is so much as a scratch he will make him pay for it, how easily he slips into this kind of character is honestly baffling.. The poor man reassures Adam and drives to park the car, Adam turns to you and naturally slings his arm round your waist and settles his hand at the base of your spine to direct you. “You good?” he whispers in your ear and you nod “If you want to leave, just put your hand on my knee and I’ll make an excuse.” he calmly offers and it instantly helps calm any nerves you had, you had been undercover in clubs a few times but not with a group quite this dangerous so it would’ve been strange if you weren’t a bit on edge.

Your eyes instantly fix onto Jay who is stood behind the bar, pouring a drink and handing it to Kim. You’re not shocked to find he is already looking at you, slight worry in his eye as he chews the inside of his lip. One of his classic go to when he is anxious, you thought you were going straight to VIP but one of the men approach you and Adam first. Out of no where, a tall man in a black suit stands closely to Adam and that’s when you realise his ear piece and mic pinned to the collar of his shirt “Dan and Alice?” he asks and Adam is quick to offer his hand out to the man “that’s us, sir”. The man glances down to Adam’s hand but then ignores it, Adam returns his hand onto the small of your back with a grunt so quiet that only you could hear it. “This way, you’re late and they’re waiting for you”. He extends his arm to direct you to the VIP area “All due respect, they’re waiting on our money so we’re not in a rush” Adam jokes but the man remains stern “That’s quite the attitude you got there, he always like this sweetie?” he aims the conversation to you and you roll your eyes “Only when he doesn’t get what he wants, doesn’t happen often” you wink and notice the corners of his mouth flicker into a smile briefly before falling back to the scowl “Let’s get on with this then.” he walks round behind the pair of you, forcing you to walk ahead “What a nice guy” Adam mumbles to you, causing you to nudge his chest with your elbow as a warning “You deserved that” a voice speaks from behind you, a reminder he was hot on your heels and could hear everything you were saying “If you’ve got any other sarky comments, I suggest you get them out now because they’re not as forgiving”.

***

What seemed like a few hours had gone by and you well and truly felt like a spare part, sat on Adam’s lap as a mere trophy to impress the others. Joining in the conversation every now and then but apart from that, you remained quiet to offer a smile or the occasional sympathetic laugh. “You wouldn’t mind going to grab us some drinks, darlin’?” one of the men leans forward to you and hands you his empty glass. You don’t accept his gesture as you leave the glass in his hand and don’t make any effort to move “Isn’t that what the staff are for? Shit VIP area if you have to get your own drinks” you scoff and run your fingers through Adam’s hair “Be a good girl and run along, the men have some business to discuss” he winks and you instantly feel you could vomit. “Just grab us a bottle off the top shelf and some glasses, isn’t hard” Adam stares down the man before he taps your leg and places a kiss to your shoulder “Won’t be long baby, you might find some friends at the bar” you grimace a smile at him and huff as you stand from his lap, ensuring you pull down your dress to have some attempt in covering your ass as you head down the stairs.

Jay already has his eyes on you as you scan over to the bar, taking a mental note of where Kim’s stood and making your way over to her. You lean forward on the bar to Jay, knowing full well your chest is very much extenuated as he struggles to keep his eyes up “A bottle of your finest whiskey and 5 glasses, we’re in VIP so you can just bring them over. Thanks” you demand and hold up the VIP card you had been given to add to the tab.

“Doesn’t work that way angel, you take your own drinks. I’m not a server” Jay is quick to hit back, clearly enjoying his new role “Whatever, just get me the bottle and a shot of vodka” you put the card on his side of the bar and turn to lean your back on the bar and look towards Adam.

“Everything alright?” Kim quietly asks from beside you as Jay places the shot on the bar, you pick it up as quick as it is put down and drink it in one “Splendid”.

“Are you gonna take this, or?” Jay pipes up from behind you, you turn to look at him and he truly is a sight. Bar towel slung over his shoulder, shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbows and a slight glisten on his skin “No you’re gonna bring it for me.” you smile and strut away from the bar. Jay looks over to Kim who tries to hide her smile in her hand as he rolls his eyes “Voight, never give her this role again. She’s relishing in it far too much” Jay grumbles into the microphone hidden in his collar, Kim is quick to speak back before Jay can walk away “Don’t listen to him Sarge, I think he’s secretly enjoying seeing her in a short dress and heels”.

You can sense Jay watching intently as you make your way up the stairs in front of him, only urging you to swing your hips more with every step. You reach the top and situate yourself next to Adam at the table, Jay makes no delay to turn his attention back onto the drinks and you laugh to yourself at how obvious you found it to be. “Just there is fine, thanks pretty boy” you wink at Jay who grins down at you “Pretty boy?” the tall man, you soon learn to be named Eric questions “You better watch out, he might have her off you” he raises his brows as he drinks “No chance mate, she ain’t going anywhere” Adam runs his hand up and down your leg, stopping at the hem of your dress.

“Besides, she ain’t gonna go for him. Look at him, a server at a bar isn’t exactly who you want to be with is it?” Adam chuckles and you feel your stomach pull, even knowing Adam was only speaking in his character it still didn’t sit right with you that he was saying those things about Jay “I don’t know, he’s pretty cute” you hit back as Jay stands awkwardly, still pouring the liquid into cold glasses in front of you. Adam runs his hand along his jawline and huffs in a laugh before wrapping his arm round you and pulling you onto his lap and away from Jay “We can pour our own drinks, you can go now”” he adds and Jay nods “have a nice night”.

His eyes linger on you for a split second before heading back down the stairs to the bar, you could tell he was pissed off just by the way his shoulders were tight and his back was straight as he returns to the bar. You turn your attention back to the group of men, one of which was staring at you far too hungrily which you tried to avoid but couldn’t for much longer as he placed himself next to you on the leather sofa “Mind if I have 5 minutes with your girl? I’ll get her out the way while you all settle up” The man asks and you grip onto Adam’s sholder, hoping he would get the hint of how you didn’t want him to agree “Think I’ll keep her with me if that’s alright, don’t want her causing trouble” Adam jokes but Eric clearly wasn’t taking no for an answer “Come on sweetie, just a bit of fresh air is all. Won’t be long”. You could tell he wasn’t going to let up so patted Adam on the chest and gave him a reassuring smile “I’m sure I’ll be fine”.

You yet again made your way down the stairs, followed closely by Eric who was quick to place his hand at the nape of your neck to guide you towards the exit. You walked past the bar and Jay looked concerned, followed by a scowl on Kim’s face as she watched you get rushed past “Sarge, Y/N is being led out by a white male. 6′4, black hair with a white shirt. She doesn’t exactly look happy about it”. Kim speaks into her microphone and not second goes by before Jay chimes in “Want me to follow?” he asks but Voight doesn’t respond.

“We haven’t got eyes, they came out but have gone round the back. It’d be too obvious for us to move but I can follow on foot?” Hailey speaks over the radio, Jay looks at Kim with a panic as silence is still coming from Voight “Sarge, we need answer” Kevin adds but still nothing “I’m going after them” Jay huffs and slams a glass onto the bar “No, leave her for a few minutes. She will be fine” Voight’s voice finally emerges but Jay isn’t happy “Are you serious? Some guy has taken her out of sight are you’re happy to sit back and do nothing?” he spits back, standing with his back to the club to avoid raising suspicion “All change to channel 5, you’ll be able to listen into her microphone and then we can decide when to move in” Voight demands as Jay and Kim switch their devices as instructed “Is he fucking serious? If something happens to her I’ll-�� Jay leans forward, onto the bar near Kim. “Can still hear you, Halstead” Voight interrupts over the radio and Jay scoffs “Good.”

***

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