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thief-of-eggs · 1 year

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Tim Drake really likes to stim by singing that “happy happy happy” audio from tik tok, even though it’s a few months old.

And Steph and Dick can’t stop themselves from joining in every time. It sets off a chain reaction in the manor, the three of them singing it on loop, driving the non-ADHDers of the batfam insane

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thaliasthunder · 1 year

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every time someone makes a joke about percy's sarcasm using the word "persassy" unironically a puppy dies did u know that?

#im sorry my eye twitches everytime i see that word in this site #it makes me cringe #and i hate it bc i know most of the people who do it are like 11-15 #(or well i hope 😭)#but still #whyy #percy jackson #pjo #hoo #rick riordan #riordanverse #annabeth chase #jason grace #piper mclean #hazel levesque #frank zhang #leo valdez

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bruciemilf · 11 months

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You have officially converted me to miguel/batman

It's a out the bonding over loss, it's about understanding the impossibly complicated, poisonous love between you, your child, and a world that took them from you, it's about understanding the fury and rage and Injustice and deciding you'll have hope, and you'll often fail, and often regret it, and do it anyway. it's about redemption, it's about self loathing, it's about feeling like you'll never ever be good enough for anyone. And it's about letting someone prove you that's wrong.

#THEMMMM #just #them interacting would be amazing theyre so similiar. miguel is/was a scientist and constantly felt guilty about helping poor neighbourhoods #only to go back to his luxurious apartment. YOU TELL ME THATS NOT BRUCE RIGHT THERE #yall dont wanna hear me scream about this au where spiderbat is in an established relationship currently divorced #and jason is the Canon Event #just IMAGINE miles and gwen getting the biggest whiplash when hobie and red hood have a secret handshake apparently??#'i really gotta say-- i thought you were scary' ' wha-- jason? jason's my best mate! little puppy eh?'#gwen eye twitching: oh your best friend yeah ok. cool. cool cool cool cool--#bruce is Very Unwell in that verse lmao #text #spiderbat #miguel o'hara #bruce wayne #ignore this this is my admission latter to the asylum

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s-wordsmith · 9 months

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AU where Steph meets the ""wrong"" Robin first and Spoiler becomes Red Hood's second-in-command.

#dc #He goes 'this is how we defeat crime; by being better at it'#She goes 'that makes sense'#Her and Cass are still friends; Bruce develops a stress-twitch in his eye #Her and Tim still date; at least partially because of the stress-twitch #Jason cares for two seconds and then she tells him 'no seriously this is gonna be so funny'#And he can see that #Dick also thinks it's hilarious #Rumor on the street is that Steph and Jason are dating #Dick starts one that he (Dick Grayson) is dating Stephanie Brown just to see how bad the stress-twitch can get #He doesn't even tell her first; he doesn't need to #Babs is allegedly suppressing all of this; she's just making it subtle enough that it seems real #The double act actually runs a large part of Gotham really well #Tim debates switching sides #All of them threaten to switch sides when they're mad at Bruce #A bunch of the robins from Robin Wars get taken under their wings

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hauntingblue · 9 months

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Me reading headcannons vs the extremely secure and profund knowledge of tim and jason being only 2 years apart

#my eye starts twitching but its ok. i have self control i become a stoic master #also that cass is the same age as jason and that steph is a year older than tim (so a year younger than jason and cass)#anyway #talking tag #jason todd #now its when someone comes with 84 comic references to say to me that this isnt true you are planning the downfall of my empire #im jk its ok #maybe i misremembered but it is still secure knowledge

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roobylavender · 1 year

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one thought before i disappear again but i really fail to understand damian fans' logic or interaction with canon on any level like your entire engagement with him as a character relies on a bastardization of every person around him. i don't see what worth there is in comparing how dick and bruce are comparatively written as parental figures in damian's life when your primary basis for analysis is canon from a writer who believes (1) dick shouldn't be in a relationship with kory bc he's happy-go-lucky and hates drama; and (2) bruce's life as a hero naturally culminates in fascism. neither of these are good faith takes on the characters involved so how can you place any value in how either of them are portrayed to interact with damian by way of that. and obv this doesn't even get into the plethora of talia issues which i have essayed about to the point of exhaustion. like idk i get that i can't make people hate a character obv lol and for many damian fans that attachment is there bc they read about him when they were young but i still don't really understand what there is about damian to be invested in once you're an adult who realizes he is holistically built on character assassination and racist stereotypes that he is inseparable from. like you can't really analyze his interactions with anyone without the context for those interactions being shoddy writing of someone else and i know that can happen in comics a lot but it happening in isolation is different from it forming the entire basis for a character

#to be deleted #like idk the parental comparisons wrt damian make my eye twitch. you are arguing about bastardizations this is USELESS..#the fact that people genuinely believe bruce being written as an abusive asshole who would tell his child to his face that he doesn't like #him or treat him like an alienable object bc he didn't raise him himself and was turned into an animalistic assassination is just #so deeply insane to me like i get people don't like bruce sometimes it upsets me sure but the reasons are there but this just #feels so extreme bc it's literally built on the most egregious bastardization of bruce ever that refuses to even #acknowledge how deeply he loves and wants to help children not to mention how excited he was when talia was pregnant #and to be honest. to be HONEST. new teen titans dick would not have been able to stand damian at all #they do have some of that snark and dick is clearly annoyed with him when he has to take damian under his wing but like #it's ridiculously tame compared to how new teen titans dick would have reacted to someone so loath to team work #dick went to bruce's house when jason died and asked point blank why bruce put an incompetent kid out in the field #he's severely poor when it comes to tact and i'm not saying developing a relationship with damian would have been impossible but #it would have taken time and it would have taken time bc of DICK needing to adjust. not the other way around #dick is good at being a leader and taking charge when all the parts of a machine work in synchrony #what he's not good at is being faced with deviations from expectations esp when they cross the line with his morals #idk i know this is starting to sound like a bruce apologist dick hate post but it's really not i promise i just #i feel like people deliberately misunderstand their demeanors and expectations ESP in context of how they're written with damian #and bc when they're written with damian is at a time in dc comics where their respective character trajectories are practically #opposite to what they were twenty years ago rather than feeling like any kind of natural progression

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clumsycapitolunicorn · 9 months

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.

#jason: that whole ted and rebecca thing was all in your head you silly goose 😜#also jason: gives us an in sync hallway scene... ted with a matchbook and rebecca with the soldier again...#me: *eye twitch*#still mad about it #article revealing more dumb sh*t just reminds me

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chikaras-garden · 6 months

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Imagine you go to buy some furniture with Jason (or dick), and all they can think about the entire time is how easy it'd be to fuck you. Would he be able to bend you over that counter over there? Would it be too high? Too low? Would you somehow get hurt?

The idea for this was instant. Like a fever dream.

“Nah,” Jason says, patting his palm against the kitchen island you point out to him. With each option, he spends a full two minutes pacing around it, bending to inspect the countertop, the cabinets—how thorough he is would be admirable if he actually liked anything.

Hands in his pockets, he strolls back over to where you’ve been waiting for him to decide. “That one’s too tall for you.”

Almost ready to give up, you half-heartedly point to the one next to it. “What about this one?”

“C’mon, baby,” he scoffs. “That’s got wheels.”

Incredulous, you ask, “Why can’t we have wheels?”

“You’ll get hurt.”

“Huh?”

“Can’t have you slipping on me,” he tuts, already strolling away. “Broken jaws aren’t sexy.”

You stay right where you are, growing more confused by the second. “I’m not going to break my jaw while I’m cooking, Jay.”

He pauses and turns just enough to look over his shoulder. His eyes glint with an I know something you don’t know sort of mischief, and one half of his mouth twitches into a shit-eating grin. “Didn’t say anything about cooking, kitten.”

You blink. Your cheeks grow warm. Oh. Oh. Oh, God.

“Jason Peter—”

“No wheels, less than three inches higher than your waist, no pointy door pulls, and I think you’d look nice against a white quartz top,” he interrupts, firing off wish list items like bullets, as if he’s not talking about the ideal qualities for a kitchen island on which he plans to rail you. “Let’s keep looking, baby; might have to bend you over a couple of these to see how comfortable they are for you.”

#jason todd x reader #jason todd smut #red hood x reader #red hood smut #🌸— mine.#🌸— jason todd.#💌— letters for the gardener.#💋— anon.

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heartss4val · 2 months

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thinking about the small ways the pjo boys instinctively show their love for you..

the way percy jackson's sword fighting naturally slows to a hesitant crawl whenever he's sparring with you. his once swift and fluid motions seem to falter, as if he's unsure of how much force to use. his sword moves in hesitant, awkward jabs, accompanied by a small, sheepish smile that seems to say, "i don't want to hurt you, but i also don't want to lose."

the way jason grace covers the sharp corner of the table when you reach under to get something, ensuring that your head wouldn't accidentally collide with the unforgiving edge. you feel the warmth of his hand hovering just inches above your head, and the faint smile on his lips reveals his satisfaction in keeping you safe. he's a protector, that one.

the way leo valdez taps three times on the dinner table whenever he wants to catch your attention. perhaps it's his way of saying, 'i'm thinking of you.' or, i can't wait to see you after this.' you're never quite certain of the exact meaning, but regardless, you often find yourself twirling your daggers three times before going into battle, a sweet tribute to leo.

the way luke castellan's lip twitches ever so slightly every time you enter into the room. it's a subtle movement, almost imperceptible, but you're certain it's there by the way he catches your eye, and tilts his head to the door, a silent invitation for you to join him.

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thief-of-eggs · 7 months

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Cass doesn’t look, she glares

Tim doesn’t smile, he grimaces.

Damian doesn’t speak, he growls.

Jason doesn’t raise his voice, he screams.

Duke doesn’t watch, he scrutinizes.

Dick doesn’t smooth talk, he manipulates.

Steph doesn’t laugh, she cackles. Manically.

Bruce’s children are a little damaged, a little odd. If not in big ways, then in the smallest of ways that so clearly sets them apart from everyone else. Their line of work demands it, their breeding encourages it.

It’s just how they were made. Once they’ve been touched by the shadows of Gotham, it never leaves their veins.

It’s in their blood now. It’s seen in their eyes, their smiles. The twitch of their face, the narrowing of their gaze.

Gotham’s embrace never lets you go.

#sorry but i love when the kids are not alright #batman #batfam #batfamily #dick grayson #duke thomas #jason todd #damian wayne #cassandra cain #tim drake #batfam hcs #the batfamily #stephanie brown #dc

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thaliasthunder · 1 year

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i am kicking percy in his nuts in my mind and that is the least violent shit i can say of the things these make me wanna do to him right now

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hearts4robs · 2 months

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𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐲

Jason is sensitive. He's so, so, so sensitive.

Jason remembers your touch. He remembers how you hold his hand, how your arms hold him when you guys hug, and how your lips feel against his own. Jason died at 15, he died a fucking virgin. So he remembers. He remembers.

He, oh, so vividly remembers your hands on his shoulders, how they reach down over his ribs and onto his waist. Your hands grasp for support, the tips of your nails leaving behind thin, angry, red streaks over his already scarred skin. It is itched into his brain how you suck at his lip as you break away from him. He almost lets out a sigh of dissatisfaction at the loss of touch.

He eyes flicker over you as you lift yourself off of his lap and onto the floor.

Holy shit.

You look heavenly. You feel heavenly. He gnaws at his own lips as his hips rise, your fingers dragging down the fabric separating your gorgeous touch from his throbbing dick, desperate for the attention. His lips fall apart as your fingers find his balls, fingers bending just right to cub them. He swallows so thickly you suspect he might explode somehow.

He remembers exactly how your eyelashes flutter and how your fingers feel against his most sensitive parts.

He has to remind himself to breathe as you wrap your hand around his dick, slowly pumping him. He remembers exactly how his neck gives out, how his head lolls back and a sigh falls past his lips.

“Fuck, yeah.. Just like that- oh, wait!- O-Oh-“

He remembers exactly how your lips wrapped around him and swallowed his dick whole. How Jason’s fingers clutch the couch cushions and your eyes water once your nose reaches the curls of his recent groomed pubic hair.

And you remember how Jason’s hips and legs shake, upright vibrating as he tries not to cum too fast.

But can you blame the poor man? It’s his first time getting head, let alone deep throated. You remember exactly how his back jumps, arching prettily as his hands flies to cover up his face. You remember how a whimper falls past his lips, quickly turning onto a voice cracking moan as he cums, shooting his cum down your throat with a shaking, twitching motion of his already shaking hips.

He also remembers exactly how you swallow every drop, never breaking the eye contact as you wipe your lips.

Oh, he remembers.

#jason todd x gn!reader #jason todd #jason todd smut #★ dirty dishes ★#dc x reader #dc #★ jason todd my beloved ★

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incorrectbatfam · 2 months

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What are the batfam's culture shocks when they go to England with Alfred?

Alfred: Here we are!

Bruce: *hyperventilating over people driving on the wrong side*

Steph: These portion sizes aren't nearly enough.

Bette: At least they got your order right. I asked for fish and chips but they gave me fries instead.

Damian: *struggling with the chasm between the train and the platform*

Barbara: Ugh, why are the sidewalks so narrow?

Harper: What, no countdown voice at crosswalks? Rude.

Duke: *puts ice in his tea*

Tim: Bernard hung up on me because apparently "it's 4 AM in Gotham."

Carrie: Hey, that cop forgot his gun.

Dick: What's a Tesco?

Kate: I gotta admit, the chocolate here is a step up.

Selina: I should move here. These houses look stupid easy to break into.

Cullen: *downloading a VPN for American Netflix*

Luke: So you use miles for distance but kilograms for weight? Make it make sense.

Jason: Casual swearing, fuck yeah!

Helena: *trying to pronounce "Leicester"*

Cass: *getting rained on*

Alfred, eye twitching: Home sweet home.

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chxrrydrxp · 2 months

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Arkham Jason is a munchhh, he's all up in the pussy like omnomnom. Bro isn't letting you go until you SQUIRT

you're so right anon like-- mmmmm he's slave to the pussy he will never get enough

I whipped this thing up and lmao it wasn't supposed to be this long but I hope you like it!

word count: 1.1k

(mdni)

tw: occasional spanking, squirting

ℯ𝓎ℯ𝓈 ℴ𝓃 𝓂ℯ

(Jason x fem! reader)

You had been talking to him in the kitchen, discussing dinner plans, and next thing you know he had you pressed up against the counter, with his hands roaming your thighs and your hands under his shirt.

He buried himself in your neck, licking and sucking at the skin as you whined his name helplessly.

“Fuck..Jay..”

You gripped the sides of his arms softly, rubbing your thighs together. You felt him chuckle into your neck, noticing the way you leaned your hips into his. Your hands impatiently fumbled with his belt. You needed him now.

“Not just yet..”

he mumbled into your neck moving your hands away. You groaned at him, desperation flooding your eyes. “Jay- oh!” He quickly interrupted your complaint, gripping your ass firmly and pulling you close against his hardness. You almost melted, feeling him so hard against your abdomen. He lifted you from your thighs, lips still glued to yours as he carried you to your shared bedroom. Your hands tightly pulled at the collar of his shirt as he laid you on the bed, leaning over your body. He kneeled at the bed with his knee spreading your thighs apart.

“Y'look so good like this baby.”

You felt heat rise to your cheeks as you gazed up at his towering body. He really could do whatever he wanted to you. He was huge. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer to you, reveling in the heat that spurred between you.

“I need you..now,” you pleaded to him, bucking your hips to his obvious bulge. He seemed to have other plans. His lips attacked your neck once again, leaving dark hickeys down your collarbone. His hands reached under your shirt, flicking his thumb over your hardened nipples.

You squirmed at the teasing, impatiently pulling at his shirt. His kisses moved down your collarbone back to your tits and he teasingly nibbled on them. Your hand rested in his hair as he moved further down to your bare stomach. Your heart dropped with your mind weighed down by the implication of the position you were in. His now wet kisses made you feel so hot, quite literally, and your mind relaxed once more.

All this build-up was driving you nuts. His calloused thumbs rubbed over your thighs slowly, while he inched his head further down. He leaned his head closer to your heat, kissing dangerously close to your clothed pussy. A soft whine escaped your lips, as you clawed at the sheets. “Jason what are you-.” You were cut off by the velvet sensation of his hand dipping into your underwear.

“Fuck..God you're so wet…just for me.”

His middle finger rubbed at your soaked clit causing you to twitch, with heavy breaths slipping from you. He leaned back up to kiss you, all while still working on your clit. Your mind went foggy, as you barely managed to kiss him back. He slipped a thick finger while still rubbing your clit with his thumb, then slipped another in. Curling his fingers, he groaned into your ear. He suddenly pulled back from the kiss to gaze into your eyes.

“eyes on me.”

Your legs trembled, as you fought to maintain eye contact. He removed his fingers, bringing them up to show you. You looked away in embarrassment, but he turned your face back to look at them.

“What a mess.”

You so wanted to slap that cocky smile off his stupid face, but your violent thoughts were interrupted as you watched him slowly lick your arousal off his fingers. His strong hands suddenly grabbed you by the waist, flipping you onto your stomach.

“ass up, princess.” You got into the humiliating position as he slid your wet shorts and panties down to your knees. Your legs trembled at the sensation of his warm breath against your cunt. Jason licked a long, warm lick from your hole, then sucked at your clit lewdly. You whimpered into the mattress, clenching the smooth sheets covering your bed.

“Jay-..oh fuck..,”

He continued teasing his tongue around your clit, licking in tight circles that had your pussy clenching around nothing. He pulled away to catch his breath, smacking your ass. “Aw c'mon..don't do that,” he cooed, noticing the way you attempted to muffle your sounds. “But I-,” you attempted to argue.

“You heard me”

His deep voice elicited a foreign sense of danger as if it was a threat. The fear sent waves of restless anticipation throughout your body, which almost had you backing your pussy onto his face again. You shamefully lifted yourself onto your elbows, obliging to his embarrassing command. He grabbed your hips tightly, getting back to work with his tongue. He slurped at your clit, with a mixture of saliva and arousal dripping down his chin, and then onto the bed where faint dampness began to form.

“That's my girl..look at you... drippin' all over my chin like this. Dirty girl.”

Your broken cries filled his ears, giving him a twisted motivation to hear you get to your breaking point. He slipped two fingers back in with ease, thrusting them quicker than before. You could hear the way your pussy clenched around his fingers, nasty sounds filling the room. You thought your voice would've given out by now from the way you helplessly gasped his name. “Fuck, ” You felt a familiar coil in your abdomen, signaling your end, and causing your whole body to shudder.

“Jay m’gonna cum..!”

He groaned into your cunt, not letting up with his fingers and tongue. Your thighs instinctively began to shut, but Jason quickly spread them back open, continuing to torture you through your orgasm. Your body convulsed uncontrollably, with rough moans escaping your swollen lip.

“Jay! That's enough I can't- fuck..!”

He smacked your ass once again, pulling back to take a breath. “You can take it ma,” he whispered, rubbing the slit with his thumb.

“I know you can.”

He spread you open, watching the slick drip down your hole, then he caught it with his tongue, resuming his sucking and licking as you whined his name continuously. Your whole body felt like it was on the verge of collapsing from all the overstimulation. You groaned into the mattress once more, as a result of the overwhelming sensitivity of your now puffed-up pussy. Jason held you tightly in place as the coil in you began to release again.

A voiceless cry left you, as your legs gave out and you collapsed onto the bed, thighs trembling. You fought to catch your breath while riding out your second orgasm. Now flat on the bed, Jason still didn't let up. His hands gripped your ass tightly as he buried his face into your cunt, pulling the orgasm from you viciously. You felt an odd release, feeling better than usual. He moaned onto your cunt, then pulled away admiring his work.

“Well this is new,” he muttered with a look of pure satisfaction with your wetness dripping down the lower half of his face. This was gonna be a long night.

wow that was a lot. hope yall enjoyed 🫶🏾

#jason todd x reader #jason todd #ceri drabbles #ceris asks #jason todd smut #jason todd x fem!reader #red hood x reader #red hood smut #jason todd imagine #dc red hood #dc smut

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ghostbsuter · 9 months

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The house of Nightingale & Constantine ( P. 1 )

> next part

.・゜-: ✧ :-

You know, when Batman reassured him (was it tho? His way of using words is a bit... confusing.) of bringing in a third person for their common problem, Phantom, Danny, didn't press nor worry.

He regrets it now, just a little bit.

—

Dick liked Danny.

The small guy has been an absolute delight!

(He isn't grinning when he and Damian duke it out, doesnt watch fondly when Danny and Jason exchange the most weirdest ways of insulting someone or when He and Steph gossip, Cass sitting behind him with her hands in his hair.)

(He can see from the corner of his eye the way Tim hides a grin behind his hand, texting Danny someone rapidly and their Guest laughing at random times, the way even Duke, despite wearing the sunglasses, seems to warm up pretty quickly to their new brother friend.)

(It's doesn't help that he has black hair and blue eyes either.)

Danny has been living with them for some time now, temporarily as it may be, and grew on them all pretty quickly.

Bruce told them when Constantine arrived at the cave, seemingly irritated for unknown reasons, and they all were ushered to the elevator.

There is no noise as they arrive, Danny few feet off the ground and engaged on a hot topic with Steph as they go down the stairs.

The moment Constantine is in sight however, has their resident ghost snapping out of the conversation and zooming in on the man from afar.

It's kind of funny? The way his black hair fluffs up like in a Ghibli Movie, the way his eyes narrow to slits, glowing a faint green.

Many shout in alarm at the sight of agitation (?), Dick sees Constantines own eyes glow a eery gold??

It's like two cats staring down one another, a showdown.

(Someone should record this.)

The two meet down in the middle of the cave, Danny is bristling and John scowling.

"Really Bats? A Nightingale?" The blond man scoffs, pushing his hands into the pockets of his coat, hands roaming for cigarettes probably.

"Excuse me? I thought the line of Constantine died out back then, with the way you handle your stuff." The teen hisses back, a hand running through his poofed up hair.

"Hah!" The Hellblazer gives a mocking laugh, cigar already in hand and lit. "'With the way we handle our stuff'? Weren't the Nightingales out of commission not so long ago?"

The glow might have died out, but the tension only rose higher.

Danny turns to Batman, glowering.

"Asking for the help of the house of Constantine? Are you crazy? Those nutjobs have no self-preservation!"

John's eye twitches at the remark.

"No self-preservation, my ass. Nightingales do nothing but mess with stuff they shouldn't, talk about self-preservation when you have it yourself, pipsqueak."

And Danny? Danny growls.

"All you do is trick every being to do your bidding! One day all of this will catch up to your house and me? I will watch as it burns."

The blonds cigarette snaps in his grip.

"Burn? Me? Doesn't the house if Nightingales hunt the beings we 'trick'? It seems to me that your lineage is already going down as we speak."

The argument (?) continues and the batclan does nothing but watch as if its a particularly interesting tennis match.

(John looks like he's about 5 seconds away from strangling Danny and the teen about to bite off John's head.)

"What's going on?" Finally, Batman steps in.

"What's going on? What's going on?? You said you'd bring in a third person! Not a constantine!"

The bat shows no signs of anything really, when both teen and man whip around to face him.

"I thought you'd know better than to involve yourself with the house of Nightingales."

"I was here first! No take backs!"

"And yet I know bats longer, don't I, pipsqueak?"

"Foolish trickster!"

"Imprudent necromancer!"

(Apparently, beef between two houses of dark exists and they had the chance to experience it first hand.)

(This is one of the many occurrences.)

#dp x dc crossover #fic prompt #writing prompt #john constantine #danny nightingale #the house of Constanine and the House of Nightingale have infinite beef #constanine can and will punt this literal toddler #steph: fight fihht fight #danny and john have family beef #what if danny meets constantine but i do u one better #its hate at first sight #batman has absolute no idea what happening #hes taking it like a champ tho #its jason btw #the one who records this showdown of two feral cats that are alive (or half) despite the circumstances #dc x dp prompt #dcxdp #dpxdc

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aalghul · 2 months

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my eyes start twitching every time i see someone say that Batman recruited jason to keep him from becoming a criminal when it was actually because an untrained, essentially unhomed (since the people he was trying to fight were from his new living situation, and by getting these people caught, he would once again be homeless), and tiny jason todd tried to stop a robbery that had nothing to do with him. batman saw jason’s strong sense of justice and that jason was a good kid in a tough situation (and batman had instantly taken a shine to jason at that point. he was just really charmed by him, and that part’s important too).

#me after repeating the same ive screamed about a dozen times on here: maybe now ill be normal #i never am bc i see one stupid comment and i see red #it’s like if fanon lazarus madness was real #jason todd

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