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thedensworld · 4 months

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What A Sweep | C.Sc

Pairing: Seungcheol x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Established Relationship

Words Count: ±400

Summary: Seungcheol brimmed with excitement as he prepared to teach you some Jiu-Jitsu moves, little did he knows, you would nearly send him into a heart attack.

Note: mention of pregnancy, characters using pet name. I'm here starting the year with my crazy love for seungcheol 🌸

Seungcheol's eyes gleamed with a mix of eagerness and concern. "You need to learn this, babe. I can't always be with you. Come on!" He urged you, his voice edged with a touch of urgency.

He gestured for you to rise from your seat, the room filled with a palpable energy. Having just demonstrated a new Jiu-Jitsu move he'd recently acquired, Seungcheol was eager to impart this newfound knowledge, a hint of pride lingering in his gaze.

"I'm feeling a bit lazy," you mumbled, cocooning yourself deeper into the welcoming embrace of the couch and the blanket that had wrapped you in its comforting embrace for hours. A low, theatrical groan escaped Seungcheol's lips as he closed the distance, his strong hand gently grasping your arm, coaxing you to your feet.

"No!" you playfully whined, though it was clear he'd chosen to feign deafness. His resolve was unwavering as he lifted you with a playful strength that was uniquely his own.

"Baby, this is very useful for self-defense," he urged, his voice softened, a glimmer of concern still present in his eyes.

You shook your head, offering a voice of reason. "I have you. You learned it to protect both of us, didn't you?"

Seungcheol's features softened, his voice tinged with a mixture of care and subtle irritation. "But I can't always be with you, love. What if I'm working and someone starts bothering you on your way home from work?"

A playful glint danced in your eyes as you countered, "I'd simply say, 'Sorry, but I have a Jiu-Jitsu trained boyfriend,' to them."

His expression melted, and he gently pinched your cheeks in affectionate response. "And if they touched you unexpectedly?"

Your smile widened, mischief gleaming. "If they were you, I'd let them be and pull you in for a kiss like this." With a swift, graceful motion, you linked your arms around Seungcheol's neck, your lips meeting his in a passionate, unexpected embrace.

Seungcheol's heart raced as you kissed him, the sudden surge of emotion catching him off guard. He pulled you closer, the world fading away, lost in the warmth of your touch. Swiftly, he swept your feet from under you, and you both tumbled to the ground with a soft thud.

A playful whine escaped your lips as Seungcheol playfully pinned you down. A gentle flinch rippled through your stomach as he deftly maneuvered your bodies.

"I've got a cramp," you whispered, your voice barely audible, your hand gently tapping his side, a signal for him to ease up.

Seungcheol released you immediately, his movements careful, aware of his own strength. "That's why learning self-defense is important. It's also good for your reflexes," he explained, a touch of remorse in his tone, his apology sincere.

You looked at him, your gaze still groggy from the sudden movements. "It's not that I don't want to learn," you began, your words held in rapt attention.

"It's just..." you hesitated, debating whether to continue.

Finally, you mustered the courage to share, "it's just... I don't know if it's safe for a pregnant woman to learn Jiu Jitsu. You know, with those moves..." Your voice carried a mixture of vulnerability and concern.

Seungcheol's eyes widened in comprehension. "Of course, a pregnant woman shouldn't learn Jiu Jitsu. It's too risky for the ba— wait, what?!" He stammered, suddenly grasping the weight of your unspoken revelation.

He raised himself from you, his disbelief palpable. On both knees, he looked at you, his expression a whirlwind of emotions.

"Really?"

Then, like the breaking dawn, a wide, joyous smile spread across his face as he understood the truth. He pulled you into a tight embrace, overwhelmed with happiness. "Oh my god, baby! Thank you so much! I'm beyond happy!"

Tears welled in his eyes as he gazed into yours, his heart overflowing with emotion. You chuckled at his emotional response, guiding his hand to rest on your belly. "Our child is here," you whispered.

Seungcheol wiped away his tears, his fingers trembling with joy. Both of you hugged each other, a mix of laughter and tears, swept up in the sheer magnitude of the moment. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he asked, his voice filled with gratitude.

You let out a soft laugh. "I just found out yesterday. I went to the doctor, and I tested positive. I'm seven weeks pregnant."

Seungcheol pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, then your lips, and finally, he placed a gentle kiss on your belly, where your unborn child lay. He cupped your cheeks, pulling you in for another kiss, followed by a heartfelt expression of his boundless love.

"I love you so much. I'm just so incredibly happy."

"You weren't this happy when I refused to learn earlier," you teased, referring to his previous insistence.

Seungcheol's heart skipped a beat. He realized he had acted too forcefully. "Oh, god! Baby, did I hurt you earlier?" he fretted, his gaze scanning your body.

"Did I hurt the baby?" he asked, a note of concern in his voice, fearing he had been too rough.

You reassured him with a smile and a kiss. "I'm okay, baby. We're both okay. Just a little startled. Please, promise me you won't do that again in the future," you teased.

Seungcheol shook his head fervently. "I promise! Is there anything you want? Ice cream? Should we order your favorite food? Maybe a massage?"

You chuckled. "We just had dinner, baby. But yes, I'd love some ice cream and a massage. We both love you."

Seungcheol swelled with happiness, pulling you into another warm embrace. "I love you two, more than words can express."

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sarahs-library · 7 months

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Forgotten: Part Two

Azriel wakes to find himself with everything he'd never allowed himself to wish for. Now, faced with the reality of all he thought he wanted, he must come to terms with his desires and the unexpected direction his life had taken.

Word count - 3564

A/N - Thank you all so much for reading the first part of my little story and for all the lovely comments and words of encouragement. I'm still learning how to post and interact on here, a few people asked to be added to a taglist which I've tried to create but I'm not sure if it actually works.

Part One ☪ Part Three

Forgotten Universe: Pretty Eyes

Azriel

Azriel was still under Madja’s knurled fingers as they palpated his temples, the soothing chill of her healing magic drifted over tender, swollen skin. Her copper eyes assessed his face closely and he schooled his features into a blank mask. His gaze drifted over the curve of her shoulder to meet Rhys as he lingered by the open doors of the balcony. The bland smile, the loose set of his shoulders, and the hands that hung casually in the pockets of his trousers irked Azriel. After so many years it wasn’t difficult to read this feigned nonchalance, the worry it masked beneath.

“A lingering effect of the head injury, exacerbated by the bloodsbane.” Madja’s fingers continued to probe as Azriel returned his attention to her. Thickness lingered on his tongue; left over from the medication she’d administered on her arrival to reign in his fever. His head felt clearer now, where his shadows had been silent before they sang again, murmuring of the almost imperceptible anxious shift of Rhys’ weight on the floorboards. Elsewhere the House of Wind was quiet and empty, Elain having fled into Rhys’ arms with a demand to be winnowed home without sparing a glance in his direction. Azriel had been left to stew in solitude until his brother had returned with the ancient healer tucked in his arms, greying spindrift hair windswept, her face lined with wrinkles and kind concern.

“Some amnesia isn’t uncommon with an injury like this,” Madja continued finally pulling her hands away from his face. “Though to ascertain its true extent you must tell us what you remember shadow-singer.” She retreated from him into the chair Elain had occupied earlier, righted by Rhys, and slowly lowered herself on creaking joints. Azriel balked a little under the attention as he tried to force himself to recollect. Pain brewed between his eyes. He remembered the visit to Hewn City, the scheming; the gifting of Nesta’s made blade to Eris. He remembered the solstice party, the disaster of his foray with Elain afterward, and his brother’s wrath. The ensuing weeks had been busy, his mornings occupied with training the Valkyries and concocting obstacle courses modeled after the Blood Rite qualifier. The afternoons and evenings spent keeping tabs on Eris and following up on the dead leads from whispers and fables of high-fae women bearing winged babes. Everything after was hazy, difficult to hold, and worsened the pain in his head if he tried to focus for too long.

“Feyre,” he said, and Rhys cocked an eyebrow, his face encouraging him to continue. “We were following leads on the delivery of winged babes.” The darkening of Rhys’ features filled Azriel with a sense of foreboding. “Feyre,” he continued, “is she…Is the babe...” He trailed off, unsure of how to broach the topic. Rhys’ features softened, understanding his brother had misinterpreted the emotion to be driven by his grief and loss and not for the male before him. Shoulders pulled forward in a rare display of vulnerability, scarred fingers clasping his knees for stability, Rhys struggled to recall a recent memory of seeing his brother so open, so vulnerable. He hadn’t seen him this lost since their youth in the war camps.

“Feyre,” Rhy drawled, fixing Azriel with what he hoped was an abating expression. “And the babe, we named him Nyx, they’re both well. Perfect.” Rhys watched his brother process the information, the small twitch of the corner of his mouth the only sign of his surprise. Watched as Azriel came to terms with the missing months in the timeline, Feyre still had half of her pregnancy to go during the solstice. How would he even begin to broach the missing years? “You don’t remember anything about the attack?” Rhys probed, Azriel bristled under the line of questioning.

“No.” His fingers danced over his injured abdomen and trailed the bandages before climbing up to rub over the empty feeling in his chest, worse than any wound he’d ever gotten. It left him feeling cold and empty. The glint of his rings caught his eye. The signet on his little finger embossed with the Night Court symbol, a gift from Rhys centuries ago declaring him part of his found family, rubbed against an unfamiliar band of gold.

Feyre

Feyre locked eyes with Nuala as she crouched over Nyx playing with his toys on the carpet. The shadow-wraith stepped silently over to them and greeted the young heir to the Night Court with a small smile, producing a plate of homemade biscuits warm from the oven and smelling of cinnamon. Nyx fixed her with his cerulean eyes and toothy smile, cheeks chubby from the lingering fat of youth. Reaching out to fist the crumbling treat in one hand he thanked her, proceeding to get more crumbs in the creases of his clothes than he did in his mouth. Feyre’s heart swelled.

“I’ll be back soon,” she reached out to stroke his midnight hair as his arms waved, one brandishing a small wooden figure and the other his half-eaten treat.

“Okay, mama.” His eyes were drawn to her briefly before he returned to his imaginary world, moving his wooden figure into position to conquer the high ground of his drawing table, covered in drying paint and charcoal pencils.

“You’ll behave for Nuala won’t you?” Nyx nodded eagerly in agreement and proceeded to clash the figurine in his hand against a triangle formation of his enemies with a sound of delight. Feyre rose, leaning close to thank the shadow-wraith on her way to the door. After taking an indulgent glance backward she stepped into the breach, winnowing to a familiar path on the outskirts of Velaris.

Well-manicured grass thick with morning dew poked through the paving stones Feyre stepped between on the way up to the front door. The lower level was in darkness, the windows blending into the dark stone and winding vines. The second level blazed, fae light seeping out of the floor-to-ceiling windows though Feyre saw no movement.

The dark wood of the door opened on a wind under her fist, poised to knock, and Feyre took the invitation to enter. The foyer offset the chill of the early morning air and she made a beeline towards the dark staircase. The open door allowed a beam of sunlight into the sitting area, dark with the curtains drawn, illuminating the comfortable leather chairs perched around the large fireplace.

Feyre eyed the portrait hanging above the mantle, a solstice gift to Azriel the year after his mating ceremony, her heart ached. Depicting the moment after the vows had been said and the food exchanged, hands clasped between them bound by thick dark ribbon, Feyre remembered agonizing for days over how to properly encapsulate onto the canvas the shared look of love and adoration. Feyre couldn’t imagine how you had coped over the last few days, in the last months of pregnancy sitting vigil at Azriel’s bedside wondering if he would wake up. Presumably elated to hear he had awake, only to find him in the arms of another woman, one with whom he shared such history.

Continuing up the stairs to the second floor Feyre followed the fae lights towards the front of the house. The door to the nursery was ajar and she stopped short of the threshold. Your back was to her, one hand tracing the soft carved wood of the bassinet Azriel had spent every spare moment painstakingly crafting. The scent of fresh paint hung in the air, leftover from a few weeks ago when the pair of you decorated the walls with murals of snow-capped mountains, lush forest greenery, and frolicking animals.

Suspended over the bassinet in a sea of miniature stars hung multicolored globes, each spinning on their invisible axis. The spiraling constellation, you’d called it a galaxy, held all the planets known to your people. Feyre wondered how many you’d seen in your trips across the stars as you reached up into the field of magic closest to you to trace your fingers over a small planet of russet brown cratered with darker swirls.

“Rhys told me what happened.” Feyre watched as you continued to agitate the floating sphere. You didn’t turn. She crept closer into the room, torn between giving you space and reaching out in comfort. She waited with bated breath to see if you would respond before continuing. “It’s the head injury, he doesn’t remember.”

“He had no idea who I was.” The hand that hung in the stars moved to cradle your abdomen. “He would’ve…” You trailed off. The posturing, the aggression, there was no doubt at that moment Azriel viewed you only as a threat, a stranger, someone who had invaded his home. That was not the male who had doted on you only a week before, hands cradling you gently as his lips brushed your soft skin singing low lullabies to your unborn babe.

“Elain was at the River House earlier,” Rhys had dropped her there with a rushed explanation before disappearing again. “She feels awful, she wanted to come and apologise.” Feyre wasn’t sure why she brought up Elain, as soon as the words were out of her mouth she realised she’d made a grave miscalculation.

“I don’t care what Elain wants right now Feyre.” The temperature in the room plummeted as you finally turned to look at her. For a moment the air in the room thinned and Feyre struggled against the pressure of the vacuum that forced her to exhale. As quickly as it came the atmosphere in the room returned to normal and she sucked in a shaky breath through her teeth.

“I know, I know. I didn’t mean it like that.” Feyre tried to keep her voice low and soothing, pinned under your gaze as she edged closer, reaching out to place an open palm on your arm. “Madja’s with him now, she says that all this is to be expected. When Rhys spoke to her earlier she said these things usually resolve themselves with time.” Your thumb traced gentle circles on your swollen belly.

“In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m a little short on that right now.” The anger in your tone was undermined by the tears threatening to spill. Realising there wasn’t anything she could say Feyre moved to pull your body against her own. Arms encircling you in a comforting embrace, she rubbed her fingers between your shoulder blades. You moved to hold her back, resting your face in the space where her neck met her shoulder as you let the tears fall. “What am I going to do?” Your voice was thin and watery, in the time Feyre had known you she’d never heard you speak with so little conviction.

“We’re going to figure this out.” She pulled away slightly and clasped your face between her hands, forcing you to meet her gaze. “I promise. You have all of us, you’re not alone in this. We’ll do everything we can for you, both of you.” Nodding you sniffed, pulling away. Feyre let you go as you turned your attention back out to the window, eying the gilded disc of the sun as it rose across the Valaris skyline.

“I’m heading to the House of Wind,” Feyre continued to observe you as you tracked the ascent. “Would you like to come?” You moved closer to the window. On the opposite side of the city you could see the grand mountain range and it’s carved residence. Through the morning mist blanketing the base a large, winged figure rose, angling to land on one of the balconies.

“I don’t think I can look at him right now.” Feyre acquiesced her desire to push you to come with her.

Azriel

After Madja had left Rhys with strict instructions regarding Azriel’s rehabilitation over the next couple of days, he’d supported his brother’s weight while they made slow progress to the bathroom. Azriel’s limbs felt stiff, uncharacteristically uncoordinated and he concentrated on remaining upright and shuffling one foot in front of the other.

Steam rose from the bath the House had prepared, swirling to meet the shadows that seeped down his arm as Azriel braced one hand on the edge of the tub. Using the other he edged the loose cotton trousers down over his thighs until they pooled at his feet. Fingers tugged at the cotton on his abdomen to find purchase, loosening and unwinding until the bandaging fell away to reveal an angry pink scar, jagged and stark against tanned skin.

“Want me to wash your back?” Rhys shot him a cheeky grin, but the mirth in his voice didn’t reach his eyes. Azriel appreciated the effort, this small attempt at normalcy. He shot his brother an obscene gesture before raising one leg to step into the tub, thigh muscles twitching as he shifted into the hot water. Using his arms to brace his weight he started to lower himself in, descending too quickly they struggled to hold him up causing a wave of bathwater to soak the floor. Azriel sunk under the warmth of the water, allowing it to soothe him.

“We’ll be in the dining room, come down when you’re ready.” His shadows had already informed him of Cassian and Nesta’s arrival, he assumed the rest of his family wouldn’t be far behind. Azriel nodded, avoiding Rhys’ gaze, pretending to study the shadows roiling over the water. In the mirror on the opposite wall, Azriel watched Rhys’ reflection as he opened his mouth as if to speak, no sound coming out as he considered, before closing it again and disappearing through the doorway.

Dressing had been an arduous process, though no longer stiff and painful his muscles had a weakness that he wasn’t used to. After struggling into the tight second skin of his fighting leathers he felt more himself. Finding truth-teller laid out in its holster on the dresser he strapped it to his thigh. His shadows, now a fuller cohort with the effects of the bloodbane leaving his system, were a thick tangle of moving darkness, sour and agitated in solidarity with their master.

Despite his interrogation, they hadn’t offered him any useful information, it caused Azriel great frustration when they took the stance of purposeful vagueness or outright ignored him. He sent them ahead down the corridor to scout out the dining room only to be turned around by a shield of impenetrable night. Whatever conversations were going on in that room, Rhys did not want him privy to them. His own family, keeping secrets. It left a bad taste in Azriel’s mouth, a sense of betrayal in his chest that sat next to the empty feeling he was growing accustomed to, a limb he didn’t know he had until it was missing.

Azriel reached the closed door, the thick night dissipating as he progressed, the sound from beyond the door returned but he heard no voices. Just the sound of breathing and the clink of porcelain as someone set a cup on a saucer. Rhys must have informed them of his impending arrival. He pushed the door open and took in his family.

Cassian, Nesta, Rhys, Feyre and Amren all sat at the table which had been used for family dinners before the River House was built. Their faces were carefully blank as he assessed them all. Mor was notably absent, information Azriel tucked away, either her efforts across the continent were still ongoing or some other manner of business had her attention. He hadn’t expected to see Elain, not after her spectacular display of anger, but he couldn’t help the feeling of unease and disappointment it left in his gut.

“Finally, the invalid graces us with his presence. Took you long enough,” Cassian sent him an easy grin, arms folded across his stomach as he lounged in his chair. Azriel scowled in response which only made his brother’s smile wider. This had always been Cassian’s modus operadi, an invitation to be provoked into a physical outlet if that’s what was needed, thinly veiled under jibes he rarely meant at heart. For a moment, Azriel considered taking up the unspoken offer, if only to delay what was undoubtedly going to be an uncomfortable conversation.

“Azriel,” it was Feyre who spoke, offering him a small smile, “Why don’t you join us?” Azriel understood that it wasn’t an invitation and slid into the seat next to Amren. His eyes met Nesta’s who sat across from him. They’d reached a tentative understanding, perhaps it could be considered a friendship, in the months he could recall. He remembered her joy at receiving the solstice gift he’d gotten for her, the resulting rare display of physical affection.

Looking at her now, face resolute and stony with blazing anger behind her eyes, barely contained, he had the sense that something had damaged the dynamic between them. He purposely looked away, instead fixing his eyes on Rhys; then Feyre. He waited for someone to speak, break the almost oppressive silence. He half-expected it to be Cassian again, with some throwaway comment or badly timed joke, but it was Rhys who cleared his throat.

“Azriel, thank you for joining us.” Azriel raised an eyebrow at the formality but stayed silent. “There are some matters we need to discuss.”

“Clearly.” He trailed his eyes over his family again, they all seemed uncomfortable to be here, to be around him. As if they knew he was going to react badly to whatever they were going to say. Rhys let his remark go, seeming resolute to power ahead with the conversation.

“What you showed me of your recent memories,” he continued, eyes drifting to Feyre who gave him an encouraging smile. “Lead us to believe that the memory loss is more extensive than we originally feared. Azriel, what you showed me – it was more than five years ago.” Azriel barely seemed to move under the scrutiny of their gazes. He’d lost years of his life. In the grand scheme of his immortality it felt like nothing, but looking at his family and realising that they lived in a future he didn’t remember left him feeling sick.

Azriel tried to find some rational thought to hold onto as he spiralled. He fell back onto the only thing he could rely on, his role as the Night Court’s spymaster. “Was it the work of the Queens? The attack?”

“The debacle on the continent has been resolved, for the most part. It was only supposed to be a routine investigation, nothing too strenuous or time-consuming given your current…” Rhys paused. “Situation. You were gathering information on some remaining rebellious factions, we didn’t anticipate that you would meet that kind of resistance, that they would have the resources. We’re sorry Az, we never meant for any of this to happen.”

“And what exactly is my current situation, Rhysand? What do you have to apologise for?” Azriel’s voice was low and dangerous. Amren snorted at the display, reaching for her wine glass. He expected a scathing remark, but it never came as Rhys shot her a look, and in a rare moment of deference she adhered as he implored her to remain silent.

“The female that was in the house earlier-“

“The thief.” Azriel interrupted.

“No,” Feyre cut in before Rhys could continue. “Her name is Y/N, and she’s your mate Az. The situation,” Feyre seemed to find describing it as such distasteful, but she continued. “Is that she is pregnant, with your child. That’s why we’re sorry, if we knew how dangerous it would be we never would have asked you to go alone.”

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Three brothers for three sisters, that was what Azriel had always thought about, always dreamed. The cauldron blessing him with undeniable proof that, though not blood-related, he and his brothers were three equal parts in the eyes of fate. He’d wanted that, seeing how happy they were in their relationships filled him with bone-deep envy. Observing from the sidelines as Rhys and Feyre prepared for the new addition to their family with vigour, as Cassian and Nesta had danced around each other in slowly shrinking circles. The other halves of their souls. That should have been him and Elain, never mind the mockery of the bond Vanserra thought they had. Azriel knew it was a mistake, a sick joke that would all work out in the end because there was no other way it could be. Three brothers for three sisters.

He wanted it all. A house on the outskirts of the city, filled with the sweet scent of Elain’s baking and made beautiful by the flowers she cultivated in their gardens. Filled with sunlight and happiness, somewhere to retreat from the darkest corners of his life. He’d dreamed of that life in the secret hours of the dawn, of a future where the issues of Feyre’s pregnancy had been resolved and perhaps their home was filled with the noise of children.

Now he had awoken in a future where he had those things, a mate, an unborn babe on the way, only to find it wasn’t with whom he desired. Elain, whom he had woken in this world for, who had been so tender in his first moments of consciousness, who had kissed him back. Azriel couldn’t imagine choosing to build that life with anyone else.

A/N - Phew! I know, the angst was real. I promise it will get better, but there's definitely a long way to go here! Part three is in the works, not sure when it will be finished but hopefully it won't be too long.

Tag list: @kalulakunundrum @impossibelle @we-were-beautiful @going-through-shit @mulansaucey @sv0430 @naturakaashi @amygdtjhddzvb @airstrip-0 @acourtofsmutandstarlight @myheartfollower @whyonearthisyourusernamethi-blog @valencia-rou @amysangel @furiousbooklover @phoenixgurl030 @imnotsiriusyouare @i-am-infinite

#azriel x oc #azriel x reader #azriel x female!reader #elain x azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #acotar series #acotar x reader

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thefrogdalorian · 25 days

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Nowhere Else To Run

Din Djarin x GN!Reader

Summary: Despite the fact that sharing a cabin with you and Grogu on Nevarro has given him the peaceful life he was searching for, Din cannot escape the nightmares of his past which haunt him most nights.

Although he feels unworthy of your love, the only time things make sense is when you take him in your arms and dutifully put his pieces back together. Even on nights when he feels he does not deserve it.

Word Count: 3.4k ✯ Rating: Teen ✯ Content Warnings: ✯ PTSD, nightmares, descriptions of canon-typical violence, survivor's guilt, Din feeling unworthy of love, Din's violent past, reader's hands described as being smaller than Din's. Author's Note: I created my blog six months ago, so here is a little Din drabble to celebrate. Title is taken from 'All These Things That I've Done' by The Killers (which is so Din coded) and I also listened to 2 Rocking Chairs by Jon Bellion a lot recently, so that might have inspired some of this too! Really hope you enjoyed it and here's to many more months of Din Djarin brainrot ☺︎

✯ My Masterlist ✯ Read on AO3 ✯

On the nights he startles awake, haunted by the nightmarish, twisted visions of the worst things he has done, he is certain that he does not deserve you. With all his evil deeds laid bare as his mind plays cruel tricks on him, Din Djarin remains convinced that he could live a thousand lifetimes and never be worthy of your love.

His eyelids fly open as his bare, muscular chest heaves. His golden skin is covered with a sheen of sweat. Din raises a trembling hand to wipe the moisture from his furrowed brow. Disorientated and afraid in the darkness.

His sharpened senses, honed thanks to his previous life as a bounty hunter, begin to function with all the effectiveness which once led to him being deemed the best in the parsec. He cringes as he remembers his narcissism, disgusted by how dishonourable it was to take pride in such an epithet.

First, Din feels your presence at his side. A warm mass of flesh in the dark, coldness of the night. So close that he could reach out and touch you if only he were not petrified that doing so would shatter your beauty. He yearns to draw comfort from you. Yet, he is too afraid to bring you down to his level, to defile your splendour.

Then, Din hears your soft snores. Truthfully, the sweet sounds you make are not quite snores at all. Merely the even, shallow sounds which indicate that you are peacefully resting. He relaxes slightly, relieved that his unwanted awakening has not disturbed you.

Emboldened by your continued slumber, Din sits up and gazes at you. Your stunning features are barely illuminated by the faint moonlight which streams in through an ill-fitting blind, yet even such a simple glimpse leaves him overwhelmed by your beauty.

As he quietly watches you, Din wonders what he could have done to deserve you in a past life. He certainly is not worthy of you in this one.

How could someone as wicked and treacherous as he ever be worthy of the love you envelop him in each day of your lives?

The guilt creeps in, then. It snakes its horrifying tendrils around Din's entire being and suffocates him under the weight of his regret and his pain.

He feels guilty that he has even found himself in a position to receive love like this in the first place. Especially after everything he has done, all the pain he has caused and contributed to.

Din wonders whether it is cruel to keep you around. To have intertwined his life with yours in the way he has. Surely you deserve someone better than him.

Inviting you to move in with him changed so much for Din. It deepened and strengthened his relationship with you while opening him up to experiences he had missed for much of his life. How to share space with someone else, to show affection and receive it in return.

Sharing a bunk with someone for the first time meant Din could not continue outrunning his past. It was a race that had begun decades prior on the day he lost everything on Aq Vetina, a marathon which continued well into adulthood.

The race was almost won when Din took the job that changed his life and led him to Arvala-7 in the hunt for the bounty who eventually became his son.

Yet it wasn’t until Din found you that he had finally crossed the finish line.

He still remembered the horrified look in your eyes when he awoke for the first time in your presence, thrashing and screaming as the night terrors plagued him. Terrified by the haunting visions that made his past as vivid as though it was happening right before him.

The nightmares are indiscriminate when they strike. Extensive in their scope.

In slumber, Din is confronted with the shameful jobs he took from the most reprehensible individuals in the galaxy, reminded of the ego he once possessed.

He relives how readily he hunted people for his gain, collecting bounties without a care for who he hurt. Who was he to be the law? To be judge, jury and, on occasion, executioner? Din is pained at the memory of the life of sin he led.

Din sees the job on Alzoc III in harrowing detail. The unspeakable acts of violence he had a hand in. As much as he tries to downplay his role and blame the atrocities on the disgusting band of crooks he ran with at the time, deep down, Din knows that he was a willing participant in the barbarity.

He replays the moment when, in a cruel, unforgiving tone, the gold-helmeted woman he had always idolised coldly informed him that he was a Mandalorian no more. Din is tormented time and again by the knowledge that he rendered himself an apostate in the eyes of the people who saved him; who taught him how to live. Being a Mandalorian and swearing the Creed were the only things aside from violence Din had truly ever been successful at. Walking The Way of the Mandalore was the only thing which had brought him anywhere close to achieving inner peace.

But most chillingly of all, Din is reminded of the gravest transgression of his life. An act of cruelty he knows that he will never truly forgive himself for committing, for as long as he lives.

Night after night, Din is haunted by how he had given up the child you both adore beyond comparison, who sleeps peacefully next door, to the Empire for the measly sum of a camtono of Beskar.

Was that truly all Grogu’s life was worth?

Of course, Din knows that there is no sum in the entire galaxy which would prove comparable to how Grogu has enriched his life.

Even though Din has seen the error of his ways, as he thinks back across the decades and counts his mistakes, Din Djarin knows that he is not a good man.

Yet, somehow, he has found you.

You are the greatest blessing to happen to him, matched only by his son.

He thinks of the way you still look at him with such love in your eyes, even after knowing the atrocities he committed in a past life; it almost embarrasses him to be loved in such a manner.

Somehow, Din has secured your unconditional love. A fact which proves every now and then, both suns shine on a womp rat’s tail. That even the most undeserving of rodents can occasionally have the greatest of fortunes.

Even when the terrors overcome him, you have never contemplated deserting him. No matter how dark and disgraceful the visions he divulges to you are.

When he wakes up yelling for his parents or screaming for Grogu, whom he is momentarily convinced the Empire have recaptured, you are always there to reassure him and to hold him while he sobs; to kiss his pain away with a touch of your soft lips against his tear-streaked cheeks.

Even knowing all he has done, you still look at him as though he is responsible for hanging all the stars which twinkle in the sky above your cabin on Nevarro.

Din recalls evenings spent on the porch with you outside the unassuming cabin you share by the lava flats of Nevarro. Watching the sun set beneath the horizon as he holds your smaller hand in his, while he admires how your hands fit together as they rest on his lap. He thinks about how smooth your skin is there, how it is so unlike the calloused roughness of his own.

You are softness and humanity in the face of his wickedness.

A wave of nausea overcomes him. Din is stricken by an overwhelming urge to get away from you. To put some distance between himself and you before he corrupts you with his immorality once more.

He ponders that perhaps he will find some relief on the porch in the dead of night. A solitary figure, save for his thoughts and the ghosts that haunt him. Sitting in total silence, apart from the bugs which chirp in the distance, is an appealing prospect.

So Din slowly swings his legs off the edge of the bunk, careful not to disturb you. He cringes at the way the sheets rustle. It is a minor offence compared to the many sins Din has already committed. Still, he does not want to add disturbing your peace to that list.

He sighs in the darkness as he perches on the edge of the bunk, a forceful exhale which causes his shoulders to droop when he realises you are still sleeping soundly. Din is relieved that you are unaware of his distress.

He is tantalisingly close to the door when the moment of solace is cruelly snatched away. His careful steps across the wooden floor were evidently not soft enough.

The gentle sound of your voice cutting through the darkness stops him in his tracks. Din turns to face you.

“Din?” you whisper, voice thick and husky with sleep.

The wave of guilt that washes over him is immediate. It threatens to wash him away, to drown him.

“Go back to sleep, cyare,” Din shakily responds, hoping he sounds convincing to someone so attuned to his every mannerism.

“Did you have another nightmare?” you ask, clearly unconvinced by his display.

Din Djarin may be many things, but he is not a liar.

Even under the merciful cover of darkness, when he would not have to look you in the eye as he skirted around the truth, he cannot bring himself to lie to you.

“Yes,” Din finally responds. His voice cracks as he struggles under the pressure of admitting his weakness.

The light is on before he can protest, and you rise from the bed before he can insist that there is no need. Din blinks rapidly for a few seconds as his retinas adjust to the rude intrusion into the darkness.

When his eyes finally focus, you are standing right before him, already moving to gather him into your arms.

It is strange to him, this notion that he ever needed someone to pick him up and dutifully put his shattered pieces back together. A human needing repairs is an alien concept to Din Djarin. While he has always been adept at finding and fixing faults in his impressive arsenal and starships, he was never able to identify his weaknesses and repair himself. Until he found his Clan.

It wasn't until Din saved the kid that he realised he had been running from something for his entire life. Since that terrible day, when he watched over his father's shoulder as the bodies of his neighbours hit the dusty floor. Crumpled heaps, which used to be people until moments ago, were clad in the same distinctive red robes as him. The terror he felt as his parents ran through the streets, determined to save him, their only son.

On his worst days, Din wonders if their sacrifice was worthwhile. He frets over what they would think if they could see what became of their precious boy. Whether they would be disappointed to see the life he followed. A life of such violence, such mercilessness.

Your warm presence against him, as you take him into your arms, snaps him back to the present. Din willingly melts into your embrace, relishing the human contact.

“Talk to me, Din,” you whisper as you hold him to your chest.

When you run your fingers through his hair, he loses all composure and breaks down into small sobs. Din shudders in your arms as you trail soothing fingers through his hair with one hand and rub your hand in circles on his back with the other.

“I don’t deserve you,” he eventually murmurs, voice quivering.

Din feels the way you shake your head. You gently place your hand underneath his chin and tilt his face up. Din's eyes meet your gaze and he notices how your eyes are full of concern for him. He can hardly look at you, feeling mortified at being studied like this.

Allowing himself to be vulnerable like this is still so fresh to him. To have his soul laid bare like this is uncomfortable and unnatural.

“You are not the worst things you have ever done, Din,” you whisper as you gently wipe the tears he was unable to prevent trailing a hot path down his cheek with your fingertips, “You cannot change the past. I know that you are a good man, Din, and I love you. All of you. You would not be the man that I adore without those parts of you. For better or worse, they shaped you into the man you are today.”

Din trembles under your gaze, under the weight of your words. Unsure whether he can allow himself to accept the unconditional love you offer so readily to him, time and again.

The tears stream steadily down his cheeks, as you continue to soothe his soul:

“In you, I see a caring father. A considerate man who will do anything to protect his Clan. A fearless Mandalorian warrior who has turned his fighting prowess towards a more noble endeavour. To rid the galaxy of any threats, to build a better life for your son. That is an honourable undertaking, Din.”

“I am not an honourable man,” he scoffs, instantly rebutting such a compliment. He is far too undeserving of such praise.

“You are,” you sigh, gently stroking his cheek with your thumb. There is such tenderness in your gaze and in how you touch him that he struggles to keep his emotions at bay. His bottom lip trembles at your next words, “Your life is not defined by your most evil deeds. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. I adore you, Din. There is so much of you that is loveable.”

Din sighs. In his current mental state, he is unable to believe your words. Unable to let them sink in, to find solace in your reassurances. He looks away from you, shaking his head in a silent response.

When he finally feels able to find your gaze again, he watches as something shifts in your eyes. A tether of patience snaps.

There is a firmness in your tone the next time you address him.

“Do you know how empty our lives would be without you? How much the little boy in the other room adores you?" you plead in an exasperated tone. "He’s asleep right now, surrounded by a mountain of plushies that his father bought for him because even though you intimidate most you come into contact with thanks to your appearance, I have seen firsthand that, beneath your armour, you have a pure heart. And you are wrapped around each one of his little green talons.”

At the mention of his son, Din cannot help the way his lips curve upwards, the ghost of a smile crossing against his features. A welcome respite from the tortured look he has worn since he awoke from his nightmare.

“Grogu adores you, Din. He idolises you. You would do anything to secure his happiness,” you nod, “And mine. How lucky am I to know a love like that?”

“I do love you," Din nods, "And I’m going to spend the rest of my life taking care of both of you,” Din vows, the cracks in his voice replaced with steely determination.

Din notices the way you seem to loosen at his words, knowing that the man you know and love is gradually returning to you. His insecurities and devastation have been replaced by his determination to protect you from anything in the galaxy which could harm you.

“Then, let’s get some more rest, honey,” you whisper as you press a soft kiss onto Din’s stubbly cheek.

Din nods and laces his fingers with yours, allowing you to lead him the few steps back to the bunk you share. He slides underneath the covers, watching you as you round the bunk to join him. Once you have slid beneath the sheets, you turn the light off and plunge the room back into darkness.

Yet, the darkness which permeated every atom of Din Djarin’s being has vanished. He can only see the light now. The way your love illuminates every part of his life. How unrelenting, yet not overbearing, the way you adore him is.

Especially when you gently encourage him to roll over on his side so you can wrap your arms around his tight waist and nuzzle into the centre of his back. Your nose and mouth nestled between his broad shoulders.

Din lets out a sigh of contentment.

In your arms, there is tranquillity. The necessary remedy which soothes his anguished spirit.

✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

Later, when Grogu is finally sleeping soundly after another long day of being doted on by his parents, Din finally makes it to his intended destination. Although he tried to reach the porch in the middle of the night, he would rather be here now. Especially since you are by his side, sitting next to him. It is a moment of rest after a hectic day spent entertaining a hyperactive Force-sensitive toddler with a voracious appetite.

With your presence in his life, Grogu has only continued to flourish. Din’s chest swells with pride as he thinks of his son's progress and all the milestones he has reached. Din knows that being a good father to Grogu is the most important role he will ever fulfil. He treats it with as much seriousness as such a responsibility warrants.

But Grogu is asleep.

Now, it is just Din and you. He smiles as he looks at your hands together, and appreciates how your fingers are intertwined. Din relishes the comfort he draws from your physical presence. He feels soothed by the knowledge that he has hidden nothing from you, that you can still love him regardless of his past transgressions.

Din looks out across the landscape towards the rolling volcanic hills of Nevarro, dusted a pale pink and orange colour in the fading light of dusk. He thinks about how he will grow old with you here in this little cabin. If fate grants him such an honour.

He cannot help but smile as he thinks about how you will sit out here on this very porch, holding hands with each other. When his patchy facial hair is flecked with grey and even when it is entirely white. When the wrinkles on his face are as lined and drawn as the crevices which scar the surface of Nevarro. Perhaps Grogu will be old enough to run around by then. Maybe he will have gained the gift of speech.

Regardless, even many rotations from now, Din knows with absolute certainty that he will still think you are the most beautiful sight in the galaxy. Even after years of adoring each other, he will still wonder how he was ever so lucky to be worthy of your love.

Din is excited to spend the rest of his life proving to you that he is the good man you repeatedly inform him you still see, even amongst all his flaws. It is a heavy task, yet one he relishes. Love had terrified him for so much of his life. When he discovered its beauty, he was determined to make up for lost time.

It is a heavy thought that he may never exhaust his capacity and reach the depths of all the love he has realised he possesses.

For now, though, Din turns his head to look at you, a soft smile lighting up his face as the sunset illuminates his features. The colour has returned to his cheeks. You return the gesture, gently sweeping your thumb across the back of his hand.

In the fading light, your face glows golden, only accentuating your beauty. Din wonders again how he was ever so lucky to know a love like this.

Except now, he does not doubt that he deserves it.

Now, Din Djarin allows his chest to be flooded with the warmth he feels when he embraces your love.

He accepts it, even after all the things that he’s done.

#din djarin fic #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #the mandalorian x reader #mando x reader #mando x you #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin fluff #din djarin angst #pedro pascal characters #my fics #cannot believe it has already been 6 months where does time go eh!

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em-dash-press · 3 months

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Unlock Your Emotional Blocks to Start Writing Again

Writer's block posts often focus on how to tackle whatever's stopping your creativity. It's often about changing your surroundings or reading new books.

Those resources can be incredibly useful, but I've found more help recently by asking myself this question:

What's been going on with my emotions since the block started?

Sometimes we go through things where we have to box our emotions away. It's a survival strategy and one we often learn when we're so young that it becomes an instinct.

The hard part is that tough situations don't stop happening. There can be long breaks in between and varying levels of hardship, but when they return, you might stop yourself from feeling the full weight of your sadness, anxiety, panic, hurt or whatever else it triggers in your heart.

Creativity correlates with our emotions. If we can't feel them, we're going to have writer's block.

Ask yourself if you've been processing any heavy emotions lately or even avoiding them.

Journal about it either way

Talk with a therapist

Vent to a loved one

(If you're into psychology, EMDR and binaural beats can unlock that hidden part of your brain too.)

While you do, pay attention to your physical sensations. They can indicate your underlying or blocked emotions before you feel them.

Ask what each sensation is trying to tell you. Sit with that feeling. Let it flow through your body. Follow it to the next sensation or emotion it brings up.

Set a timer so you don't get too lost in your feelings. Give yourself some self-care afterward.

Your writing will likely come back when your subconscious isn't actively blocking your emotions.

#writeblr #writers of tumblr #writers block #writing advice #creative writing #writing tips #writing #writing community #writing inspiration #writing help #writer stuff #writing problems #writer problems #creative writers #writer's block

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olivianyx · 1 month

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UPDATES ON MY JOURNEY

Heyy all! I've been focusing on my senior professional medical year and it has been stressful. So here are some things I manifested effortlessly and a few things without me thinking about it. Long ass post ahead! ⚠️⚠️

1. Getting more pocket money than usual. Like my parents usually transact in my account like a $80 or $100 AUD per month. But in both feb and march this year, they transacted me $500 and $700 AUD! Plus! I occasionally find $10 or $50 cash in my classroom or on the streets sometimes (and they come lie next to my feet 😭) I'd ask everyone in my class if it's theirs, and they say no. What do y'all expect me to do? Like go and give it to the university management?? 😭 hell no, so i kept it lol.

2. MANIFESTED DIOR'S LIP OILS!! 😭😭 LIKE 5 OF THEM 😭 YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE OBSESSED WITH LIP OILS 😭😭 AND I WANTED THE RASPBERRY ONE SO BAD, AND GUESS WHAT? I MANIFESTED IT ALONG WITH 4 OTHER SHADESS OMGGG 😭😭😭

3. My crush giving me hints that she's obsessed with me 😭 like she literally told me 'you're so sweet and caring, I've never met a person like this after my grandma' cus her grandma passed away recently and she was so depressed. She even had an eye infection, so she stopped coming to the uni. So i had to make sure she's alright, and met her everyday cus she needed someone real bad. Like she needed to talk to someone and get that thing bothering her outta her head. I was there all along whatever she was going through (don't come at me y'all, ik if we help someone they would say all these things but she's my crush lol so) She's also getting real close to me, like she tells me how annoying people are lol. She loves skin ship, physical touch, being clingy around me, and complimenting me 😭😭 so these are the hints 😭 like friends wouldn't do that right? Would they?? (My friends diss me right in front of everyone 😶)

4. I've always been the type to care too much for the silliest things, nowadays I don't really put my energy into it and become all anxious. My anxiety levels have completely gone down like I'm literally cool asf?? Even while being in public?? Literally yess

5. Manifested getting my hair coloured next week! and my mom permitted me! For my cousin's engagement in april, I wanna be there like the hot younger sister I am lol. I just wanna make my relatives and their kids jealous cus they made fun of me when I was younger (my younger self has been dreaming for this moment) so why not a revenge glow up?? 😭

6. Losing weight even though I eat like a pig due to my study stress. Like literally I ate a 5 course meal one day and lost 2 kgs the next day? (cus I randomly checked my weight for 2 days cus I had to submit my height and weight to the university student records)

7. Getting a natural blush on my face! Like it's such a game changer, I look like a movie star y'all 😭✋🏻

8. My teachers complimenting me for my discipline and high scores. As yk uni professors don't even give af bout students and they complimented me??

9. Getting into a new friend group! My old one was too toxic and they would always bully me (verbally) my new friend group is literally soo damn enjoyable! Like they're the cool kids of the year 😭 and now I'm one too!

10. As I mentioned in my older post that I'm moving into an apartment. We moved in and it was too difficult for me to sleep as the place was new and also there we're disturbances in the night time like stomping noises or playing loud music at night. So the neighbors there were too sweet that they introduced and comforted us that it's okay and if something's bothering us they'll take care of it. And they literally made the people who we're causing those disturbances to vacate out 😭😭✋🏻

11. My hair getting shinier! It was brittle before as I was severely anemic, now my baby hair is back and it's shining ✨

12. I overheard my parents conversing that they should make me audition for an entertainment company....like what? 😭😭✋🏻 when I asked them once years back they denied giving me a 4 hour lecture and now they wanna make me audition?? Like literally 😭 y'all watch me at the Grammy's (after 5 years lol)

13. Getting into the void on command or intention.

14. I literally get free foods everywhere I go 😭😭

15. I got free gifts from my uncle who's living in France! He works at a fashion company and he sent me perfumes and a few outfits (I can't reveal it I'm sorry)

I ONLY WAS THINKING ABOUT GETTING MY LIP OIL, GETTING CLOSE TO MY CRUSH AND FOCUSING ON MY STUDIES. THE REST, I MANIFESTED WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT.

SO WHAT NEXT?

I've decided to respawn to my waiting next month. I'm still scripting how my waiting room should be... So it might take time for me. So till then I'm gonna be strengthening my self concept even more, and also getting more and more excited to be in my waiting room! I want my waiting room to be like a more like a sci fi movie and a princess fairytale combined 😭 (ik I'm weird). Like I just want my favorite anime characters to be there to help me script my DR ✋🏻 So I'm kinda in a more excited mode lately to script my waiting room! Will give you updates on how my waiting room will be in a future post! So until then take care, love you, byeeee byeeee!

- olivia 🤍

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skyahri · 1 month

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Retire |Kakashi X Reader| HC

Summary: You need some convincing to leave ANBU.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and depression. Mentions of suicide. A bit angsty and self-destructive, but fluffy overall.

- - - - -

Even though he'd retired a few years back, you were still an active ANBU captain.

The job was grueling, and he was well aware that the longer you stayed, the worse the missions became.

That isn't just because of the overall baggage people acquire, but because seasoned black ops were often sent on the more... unethical missions.

You'd been acting off recently. He had let it go at first, knowing how taxing the line of work could be, but something in his mind was bugging him to investigate.

He assumed everything had started to actually get to you, so he decided to check in on you between missions with team 7.

He knocked on your door. It took a minute, but you answered.

He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but this wasn't it.

Your appearance was appalling.

You'd lost a lot of weight, you had bags under your eyes, and you reeked of alcohol.

"Just checking in on you. It's been a while."

"Yeah, Tsunade has me on back to back missions. This is my first break in months."

He had assumed his intensive schedule with his team was the thing keeping you two apart, but apparently not.

"How about you get cleaned up while I go get us something to eat? My treat."

"I'm pretty tired, Kashi. I think I'd like to continue rotting for the time being. Thanks for the offer, though."

You gently shut the door in his face.

A sour look plastered itself on his face.

Unfortunately, your use of rotting didn't seem too far off, so he decided to talk to a third party about it.

His first stop was to see Tenzo. Maybe he knew what was up since you two worked so closely.

"I've noticed as well. I tried to ask, but they told me it wasn't appropriate for subordinates to question their captain."

Add that to the list of odd behavior.

You loved Tenzo like family, just like Kakashi did, so the sudden change was worrisome.

He went to ask Asuma as well, knowing he had been in the village more often than he had recently.

Asuma pulled him inside his home and away from prying eyes. Last thing he wanted was the wrong person hearing such a sensitive information.

"We already talked to Tsunade about it months ago when we noticed a decline in her health. Word got back to them, they said something about breach of trust, and they haven't spoken to any of us since."

Kakashi just nodded.

He remembered a time where he also reacted poorly when he'd been questioned in a similar manner.

The only difference is lord Third actually listened instead of allowing him to dig himself deeper into an early grave.

He dwelled on it for a few days.

He cared about you deeply. It was different than any of his other friendships- more personal and open.

The last thing he wanted was to go behind your back and end up with the same treatment the rest of the group was getting.

So he put on his big boy pants and showed up at your door again with vengeance.

He had been practicing what he'd say the whole way over. He needed to be prepared for anything you threw at him so he didn't falter.

But when you opened the door, his fire simmered out.

You just looked so tired.

His words got stuck in his throat.

So he did the only thing he could think of - he just walked forward, straight into you, and wrapped you up in a hug.

You resisted at first, but the second his warmth hit your bones, you relaxed.

It only lasted for a moment before the feelings started to set in, causing your body to shake with sobs.

You fell to the ground, dragging him with you, but his hold didn't loosen one bit.

"It's okay. I'm here for you."

That only made things worse. Something about his comfort was making all the feelings you've worked so hard to repress bubble up to the surface.

After you'd visibly calmed down, he'd picked you up and carried you to the couch. He positioned you so you'd be touching as much as possible without him being too forward.

"I hate ANBU."

Straight to the point. He wasn't sure if that was good or not.

"Why don't you retire? It's been almost fifteen years. That's way longer than most make it."

You hesitated. You had a reason, but the thought of saying it out loud made it sound so silly.

One look at Kakashi’s face told you he wasn't messing around.

You sighed and leaned your head on his shoulder. It made it easier to answer without him looking at you.

"If it's not me going out there, its someone else. I'm already too far gone, may as well save someone else from this fate."

Oh.

Kakashi had fully been expecting some sort of 'I can handle it' response, but this one was so... awful. Just absolutely heart-wrenching.

He collected his thoughts, trying to find a way to reason with you.

"There are people in ANBU who can handle that kind of mental load. You were that person many years ago,"

You just looked at him with that sad, defeated face, and it broke his heart all over again.

"But that's not the case anymore. It's time to pass on the torch."

You shook your head, ready to get up and kick him out. He just pulled you back down and held your hands in his.

"I was so angry when I was forced to retire. I felt like I could do more, like it wasn't that bad, and everyone was underestimating me. Do you know what happens when shinobi like us aren't told to quit?"

You shook your head.

"They end up like my father."

You stayed silent after that. How could you argue when he had just pulled the dead dad card?

So you promised to think about it.

He knew that would be as good as it would get, so he dropped it and opted to switch to a lighter subject.

After an hour or so of talking, you fell asleep. He carried you to your bed and tucked you in. He thought about staying over, but decided against it.

He didn't see you the next day. He'd knocked on your door, but no one answered, and he couldn't sense you inside.

He hoped you were just busy and not on another mission.

He did see you the next day, however.

He was heading to the Hokage's tower to chat with Tsunade about team 7's next mission when he bumped into you.

You smiled at him.

It felt like he was looking at a different person. You were almost glowing. Your eyes seemed a bit brighter, face looked a little fuller, and overall vibe was less damming.

"I retired this morning."

He damn near hugged you in front of the whole village.

"That's great to hear."

#naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto headcanons #kakashi hatake x reader #kakashi headcanons #kakashi fluff #kakashi x reader #kakashi sensei #kakashi hatake #hatake kakashi

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cait-with-luv · 11 months

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Little Leopard [6]

"If it weren't for seven men that fateful night you wouldn't be here now. They showed you good people did exist. That life can be great, that you can be loved and cared for. These seven men were the men you loved and cherished. These men were your mates. Your safety blanket. And to them. You were their Little Leopard."

Header Credit: Me

Pairing: OT7 X Hybrid!Reader

Genre: Hybrid! AU, Strangers to Lovers! AU, Rich!BTS, Fluff, Angst, eventual smut, Polyamorous!BTS

Warnings: Angst, discussions of weight, discussions of eating disorders, dissociation, mentions of past mental abuse, mentions of past physical abuse, mentions of sexual abuse, discussions of trauma, anxiety, depression, explicit language, self-doubt, fear of rejection

Word Count: 3.5K

A/N: I'm sorry if this is so scruffy I tried my best since I've just got back to full health so the next update will be better! ITALICS MEANS IT'S A FLASHBACK!

PREV | NEXT

The boys felt lost. It was like they were taking one step forward and one step back with you ever since your hospital appointment a few weeks ago. You had gone back to barely speaking. Only nodding and shaking your head. Murmuring your words. Barely coming out of your room. They were worried. Guilty. Guilty because they felt like they had pushed you too far. You were healing after so much trauma, pain and they reopened those healing wounds. They desperately wanted to help you. Get you back on track to recovery and finding happiness but they didn’t know how. They didn’t know where to start.

However this wasn’t the case. You had not shut yourself out because of the appointment. Because you were suffering from reliving trauma. No, it was because of them. You were not mad at them. You were not disappointed in them. You were purely nervous. Nervous because everytime you looked at them your heart raced. Everytime you tried to talk your words got caught in your throat. THEY made you nervous. Butterflies in your stomach. And it all started because of your realization. They were your mates. They were fated to you. They found you that night because they were meant to.

It terrified you. You had never felt this ever. It was all so new to you. This feeling of adoration, euphoria, love. It was all so overwhelming and terrifying that you didn’t know how to comprehend it. You weren’t ready to accept that you had mates. You were so desperately trying to shut it out but it was proving to be difficult when your leopard is pawing at you consistently to nest with them again, scent them. Mate them. Sheer pain crawling in your body when they come home smelling like another Hybrid. You couldn’t accept it because you were terrified to be rejected. You weren’t good enough for them, not perfect enough. You came with too much baggage. The humiliation you’d feel if they rejected you. The gut-wrenching pain you’d feel. You couldn’t take anymore pain.

You knew you couldn’t shut yourself away forever. That you had to conjure up the courage to talk to them, be around them but it was difficult when your every instinct is to nurture them, claim them.

Your deep thoughts are cut off from a knock on the your bedroom door, you mumble a ‘come in’ and a hesitant Taehyung peers in and pouts seeing you curled up in a nest you had recently built for yourself, the only thing providing you comfort right now but seeing Taehyung makes you ball your fists up to fight the urge to pull him into it. You couldn’t indulge anymore, because now you crave it all the time since the first time you nested with him and Jungkook.

“Hey, Pretty girl, Seokjinnie has made some lunch, want to come eat with us? You didn’t have any breakfast.” He says softly, frowning as you shake your head and snuggle more into your nest.

“I-I’m not hungry. Maybe later?” You mutter quietly, avoiding eye contact. You could see the concern in his face but you just had no appetite, you couldn’t stomach anything right now.

“But Y/N, you haven’t eaten properly in a while…” He trails off, hoping that you’d cave and finally eat but you were stubborn. You couldn’t and wouldn’t. You didn’t have the energy to face them.

“I’m just not hungry right now Taehyungie. I’ll eat later. I promise.” You reassure, before closing your eyes and pretending to go to sleep. You couldn’t look at him otherwise you’d cave.

“Okay, one of us will check on you in a bit, please try to eat later. Please talk to us, we’re here for you.” Taehyung sighs before leaving and making his way downstairs, watching the six hopeful boys' faces fall when they see no sign of you.

“Nothing?” Jungkook pouts as Taehyung shakes his head. They just wanted to see you healing again, smiling and interacting with them.

“Nothing. She won’t eat. She said she’s not hungry again, she wouldn’t look at me. What do we do?” Taehyung whines in frustration, sitting down next to Jimin who gives him a small smile.

“I’m getting worried, she’s starving herself, we can’t let her continue like this. She’s going to get sick, we need to do something, we can’t keep walking on eggshells around her, it’s not going to achieve anything.” Jimin huffs and shakes his head. They needed to make better efforts, because right now, he felt like they were all doing the bare minimum.

“We can’t force her to eat, we can’t force her to do anything. We’d just be doing what all the others were doing but we need to sit her down, remind her that she’s not alone, that she doesn’t need to bottle it all up.” Namjoon advises, they all hum in agreement except for Jungkook. He shakes his head, gaining their attention.

“I don’t think it’s the hospital appointment that’s doing this to her. I think…I think it’s the fact we’re her mates. I think she knows but is scared. Have you guys not noticed how anxious and nervous she gets around us recently? How much more she’s nesting and scenting blankets?” He begins, looking around watching as they all come to a realization.

“That does make sense but how do you know she knows?” Seokjin replies with a frown.

“Well…”

—

“Is she oka-Oh shit.”

Hoseok stares in shock at the sight in front of him. Two of his boyfriends, nesting with you, your small figure, snuggled up between them, the peaceful look of sleep and safety on your face. He knew what this meant. He was familiar with what nesting meant to a hybrid, having been told by his colleagues with mates. Things had just got more complicated.

“Shh don’t wake her. She’s dissociated, she’s distraught, we know what this means, we made the nest for her to help but she invited us in. We couldn’t say no.” Jungkook whispers, looking down to make sure you hadn’t been disturbed. In all honesty, he wasn’t opposed to being your mate. One of seven mates.

“We need to talk. Now.” Hoseok says quietly, shuffling in his spot. Everything was coming together now. Why they felt so much care for you. The need to protect you and spoil you. They all had assumed it was because of your circumstances but how wrong they were.

They may be human but they felt it too. The pull towards you. The attraction.

“Tae, you go, I’ll stay with her, don’t wanna leave her by herself in case she wakes up.” Jungkook sighs, stroking your hair, a small smile falling onto his lips as you subconsciously lean into his touch, a loud rumble of a happy purr leaving your mouth.

Taehyung hesitates before nodding and placing a chaste kiss to your temple and then a quick peck to Jungkook’s head before carefully leaving the nest, his chest filled with anxiety and guilt from doing so.

“Mate…n-no…back…” You whimper in your sleep, anxiously moving about, already feeling Taehyung’s disappearance, your fists clenching Jungkook’s shirt tighter and tighter, fearful to lose him too.

“Shh, it’s okay, I’m here, I’ve got you…your mate is right here, Baby.” He comforts, keeping you tight in his hold, nosing at the crown of your head to relax you. He wouldn’t want anyone else to be a mate too. He will make sure to be the perfect one for you and he knew the others would too. You were the missing piece they were missing. You fit in just like a jigsaw piece.

“We’re her mates.” Taehyung blurts out suddenly once they had all sat down, their eyes widening in shock. Out of all the things they thought they were going to be told, this wasn’t at all what they were expecting.

“W-What? How do you know?” Jimin breathes out in surprise, his heart racing from nerves.

“She nested with me and Kookie. She’s still nesting with him now, she scented him too. She looked pretty upset too when she realized we all weren’t there. She wanted us all in the nest.” Taehyung explained, running a hand through his hair.

“Come to think of it, she looked like she was going to tear Dr. Yoon’s head off when she hugged us. It probably didn’t help that she's a lion hybrid too but it makes sense. It’s kinda like a territorial thing.” Yoongi murmurs leaning back into the couch, arms crossed as he thought deeply.

“Well what do we do? We can’t pretend that we don’t know about it. It’ll just be makingher suffer. I don’t know about you guys but I care a lot about her. I really do think I’d be lost without her.” Hoseok says confidently, the boys humming in acknowledgement.

“She does feel like what we’ve been missing this whole time and I know there’s plenty of room for her in this relationship.” Seokjin agrees with Hoseok a smile toying at his lips, he could picture all the loving memories you could create. Waking up together with them in the mornings, dates, cooking together, intimate moments, all the laughs, smiles, compliments. He wanted that with you. They all did. You were the missing brick in the home they had built. The cement that held it together. They just hadn’t realized it until now.

“I don’t think we should tell her we know…she’ll come to us when she’s ready to tell us no matter how painstakingly slow it may be we got to be patient. We don’t want to scare her off. Let her initiate it. Let her be in control of this. She’s never gotten that choice so we have to give that to her. Maybe little courting gifts here and there for her, not to hint that we know but hint to her that we care for her and if she wants to want to build a relationship with her.” Namjoon says with authority in his voice. He didn’t want to screw up any chance they had with you. It wasn’t like how they started dating. You’re a hybrid and courting is a big thing for mates. They couldn’t rush this. It had to be at a steady pace, it had to be perfect.

“But what if she doesn’t come to us about it Joonie? She’s never had this much control in her life, she won’t know how to do this. I don’t want to control her at all but what if we just give her a nudge into the right direction?” Jimin whines. He knew Namjoon was right but his patience was the worst out of them all, he knew he’d get too antsy.

“We may have to but right now we wait and see baby. Only time will tell.”

—

It had gone past midnight when you left your room, unfortunately your anxiety riddled mind had kept you awake, the thoughts of losing the boys, not being good enough for them plagued you. But also your fears of going back to your previous owner. Having to endure the mental and physical abuse day in and day out. The pure torment. You couldn’t go back to it. Especially not after seeing what life truly can be like. You just couldn’t do it.

You had to speak to them, go back to your healing, you couldn’t lose them, push them away.

You hesitantly tip-toe towards a room. Jungkook’s room. Despite being in a seven person relationship, sometimes they liked to have their own space or take turns sharing the master bedroom bed.

You stand in front of his room, contemplating whether or not if you should knock. You didn’t want to disturb him, you were about to turn around and go back to your room but if it was Jungkook had a 6th sense and knew you were there, his door suddenly opening, a yawning Jungkook stood there, a look of surprise when he realized it was you at the door not one of the boys like he thought it to have been.

“Y/N? Hey, Sweet girl, are you okay? Is something the matter?”He asks softly, almost cooing at your sweater paws and doe eyes staring at him nervously. You shuffle in your spot, toying with your hands as you murmur shyly,

“I-I can’t sleep…didn’t know what to do. D-Did I disturb you? I-I’m sorry I’ll go.”

Jungkook quickly shakes his head and holds his hand out for you to take, he didn’t want to startle you and grab your hand, he reminds himself of what Namjoon had said. ‘Let her be in control’.

You slowly place your hand in his and you almost purr from glee from the feeling, you hadn’t touched them or let them touch you since you nested with them.

“You have nothing to be sorry for baby, do you wanna come in? Maybe trying sleeping in here so you aren’t by yourself? I can sleep on the floor if that will make you more comfortable?” He asks, slowly guiding you into his room, his breath hitching as you whisper,

“A-Actually…c-could you nest with me instead? I-I think that’ll help…”

He could have screamed with joy at your proposition. You were starting to take initiation, no matter how small it may be, it was a start and it excited him.

“Of course, do you need anything to build your nest? Help yourself to whatever you want baby.” He smiles standing aside to let you do what you needed to do. And so you began, grabbing any item that smelt of the boys, shirts, blankets, hoodies, you grabbed them all and carefully built your nest. You wanted it to be perfected, it needed to be. The urge inside you wanting to impress your mate but you had no idea that no matter what you did, Jungkook would always be impressed.

“In.” Was all you said once you had finished, patting the place beside you in the middle of the nest. A teasing smile appears on Jungkook’s face, playfully crossing his arms and pretending to think.

“In? You want me to get in? I don’t know…” He teases making you huff and pout at him, glaring.

“Kookie…” You whine in frustration making him laugh and shaking his head. You were just to cute to not tease.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming in now.” He coos, and carefully lays in your nest, allowing you to move him to where you wanted, a content smile on his face as you curl up into the side of him, purring and chuffing. You really were just a cat.

“Thank you Jungkook, for this…for all of you putting up with me.” You say quietly, closing your eyes in attempt to try and fall asleep. But it still felt like something was missing, like you need something more to fall asleep.

“We’re putting up with nothing Little one, we’re here because we want to be, because care for you and want to help you in anyway we can alright?” He yawns, playing with your hair and pouting noticing your fidgeting.

“Still can’t get comfortable to sleep Sweet girl? Is something playing on your mind?” He asks softly, tilting his head as you nod and sit up to look at him.

“Feels like something is missing…” You practically cry out.

Jungkook thinks before a thought pops into his head, sitting up with you and hesitantly asking,

“Do you reckon it’s the rest of the boys that’s missing baby? Is that what it is?”

You nod slowly as you realize that yes, it was what was missing, what you needed. You need all seven of them in your nest, all your mates but it felt too selfish to do. You had already disturbed Jungkook, you couldn’t wake the rest.

“B-But I don’t wanna wake them. That’d be unfair.” You pout before going to lay back down.

“It’s okay, don’t worry we’ll find another way to help make you sleep…why don’t we read? We’ll go sit downstairs and I’ll start teaching you, how does that sound?” He proposes and a smile appears on your face as you nod. You liked the sound of that.

—

Namjoon sighs as he sits down on the couch, the house is filled with silence as everyone sleeps, the only sound is the clock ticking away. It was late. Just past one in the morning and Namjoon couldn't sleep. Tossing and turning all night, his stress taking a toll on him.

Whilst Hoseok was embarking on his investigation of your abusers, Namjoon had started his own. He was determined to find who this inside person was, doing the cover-up on your documentation and who knows how many more Hybrids and was proving to be challenging. So far he couldn't find a single thing. Not a single speck of dirt on any of his employees, he was close to hitting a dead end but he refused to give up, hoping that eventually, he'll find something.

Anything, even if it was the tiniest bit of evidence. He couldn't let these Hybrids down. He couldn't let you down. He prided himself in protecting and providing for Hybrids in need and built his whole career on it. His whole business. But right now he felt like he was failing. He was angry, ashamed, and guilty that he allowed someone so dirty to work for him, allowed them to slip through the security checks he so thoroughly does but clearly not thorough enough.

Namjoon stares at the blank screen of the television, his head quickly turning as he hears a creak of the floor boards before relaxing when he sees the two pairs of doe eyes he's grown to adore so much staring back at his exhausted figure.

"Baby. Princess. What are you two doing up?" He asks quietly, tilting his head as he sees an alphabetical book tight in your grasp, his heart skipping a beat at the pouts on both of your faces. He swore your pout could challenge his youngest boyfriends.

"We could ask you the same Joonie. Little one here, couldn't sleep so she decided to nest with me in hopes it'd help but it didn't so we were going to sit down here so I could teach her how to read." Jungkook explains giving Namjoon a concerned smile.

"I couldn't sleep either Princess, it's okay it happens to us all sometimes. Come here, why don't both of us teach you hm?" Namjoon says tiredly, letting out a yawn and stretching.

"B-But you're tired. I don't want to be a burden to you. Y-You've been working a lot Namjoonie." You whisper shyly, shuffling in your place. Out of all the boys, Namjoon intimidated you the most. You weren't scared of him. You could never be with how caring he is but he just screamed alpha of the house to you with how much authority he held.

Namjoon all but smiles softly at you, shaking his head as he pats the spot on the couch beside him, inviting you both to join him as he says reassuringly,

"Nonsense. You could never be a burden Babygirl, now let's read this book shall we?"

You nod and both you and Jungkook sit down, you sandwiched in between them both as Namjoon takes the book and opens it, beginning to teach you each letter, even going as far as getting a notebook out so you could even practice writing.

“Is everything making sense so far Princess? Tell us if you need to go over something again okay?” Namjoon asks after a little while, smiling when he looks over to you when he gets no reply and finds that you had finally fallen asleep, pen almost slipping of your hand.

“She’s so cute.” Jungkook chuckles, taking the pen out of your hand and looking over to Namjoon as he bookmarks the book and closes it.

“She is. How come she couldn’t sleep?” Namjoon asks leaning back into the couch and carefully laying your head down on his lap as Jungkook places your feet on his.

“I think she’s starting to accept or come to terms that we’re her mates, she couldn’t sleep because all of us weren’t in the nest, she was so frustrated but she didn’t want to wake any of you up.” Jungkook smiles, rubbing up and down your calf. Namjoon chuckles and looks down at you, adoringly before he gets an idea.

“I have an idea, Jungkook wake the boys up, try and make a nest and a nest big enough for us all in the master bedroom, we’re going to do what she wanted, have us all in a nest, I think it’ll be a nice surprise for her in the morning when she wakes up.”

And so Jungkook did. He woke each of them up, explaining to them what was happening, bright smiles on all their faces as they worked together to build the nest, hearts fluttering as Namjoon carries you into the room and places you in the middle of them all, love filling the room as you all filled the nest, snuggled up together, content smiles on your faces as you all slept. Even Namjoon managed to fall asleep at last. Peaceful and happy.

Unaware of what was coming.

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thereticx · 2 months

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ᎠᏆᏙϴᎡᏟᎬ́Ꭼ II.

♰Summary: Even after your confession, his life had to move forward and in order to do that his wife had to listen to everything that has happened after your first kiss.

♰Warnings: explicit sexual content, cheating, toxic relationships, mention of cigarettes etc.

♰Author's Note: Welcome back to part two of longest fic I've ever written.

The professor’s voice was faint in the background. As you continued to stare out the window — tiny raindrops hitting the large windows aggressively, you were more interested in the weather outside rather than any school work.

A few weeks after the incident, life was slowly retaking its course. At first there were angry calls, threatening messages and God knows what else — you've stopped checking after some time.

It was exhausting.

Each minute was spent in frustration, wondering if you did the right thing or was it just a carnal desire to hurt him? Maybe both. You still don't know for sure.

•

She was heartbroken. Betrayed and lied to for months on end. He could apologize hundreds of times and she still won't look at him the same again.

The look of pure adoration, of desire, of love she carried for her husband thinned out the second she heard your voice. An angelic and sensual sound but with the most venomous words.

She was right all along. You wanted to destroy something beautiful, something that would have lasted for many many years if it wasn't for you.

You were a poison, finding your way in the middle of their relationship, tearing it from the inside — like a disease and feeling no remorse.

“LIAR!!” She screamed, the tears flowing down her cheeks. She went pale only by thinking of the two of you together, on the same bed she shared with Geto for four years.

However, he didn't react. The man only looked down, ashamed of his own person. What he did was unforgivable and he deserved everything that was coming his way.

•

“Was it worth it?”

“Excuse me..?”

Your father cleared his throat. “Was it worth it — what you did?”

“No” You admitted, clenching your fist at your side “It wasn't worth it”

He tightened grip on the counter’s edge and gave you an ultimatum “I hope you're aware of the shit show you created. I don't care how you do it but you're gonna fix this. If not —”

“I know…”

As he walked out of the kitchen he glanced at you with pity “You're my daughter and I love you..but I must say I'm ashamed of you”

Somehow, that felt worse than your ‘break up’ with Geto. Which made you realize how far gone you actually were.

•

Cigarette smoke escaped his pierced lips, the strong scent getting lost in the air. He could barely concentrate on his work – on anything for the matter. Geto had a painful headache that started in the early hours of the morning, shortly after his wife left for the appointment. Although they still lived together in the same luxurious apartment, their paths never crossed.

He sipped on his coffee, the cigarette later forgotten in the ashtray — still lit. The man typed fast on the keyboard, checking his recent emails, his recent messages, hoping none of them to be from your father ”Fuck me–”.

His eyes read each word at least two times before moving on to the next sentence. Everything seemed a bit too formal, not at all like the messages your father used to send.

He apologized on your behalf for the chaos provoked and asked to meet again, at dinner.

Geto massaged his temples, the headache more unbearable than before. How could he possibly respond to this? Having dinner and drinks at your house, the same house where the two of you first bonded. It would be wrong for him to accept and it would be wrong for him to decline.

Dammit.

”You seem lost” His wife stood there, with her arms crossed, her weight supported by the glass door. She was dressed in a white dress that was hiding her growing belly.

He closed his laptop. Before shifting his body to face her better. His eyes widened. ”What?” She asked, her piercing gaze raising goosebumps on his skin ”Nothing. Just surprised you're talking to me” Geto admitted, clasping his hands together. He was nervous and she could tell.

”Yeah..don't get used to it. I'm still furious but I have been thinking and I'm willing to listen. No screams, no fights…just a talk” She said, motioning for him to make her room to sit next to him. She rested her arms behind her body, sneaking a glance at the man she loves.

Geto felt his heartbeat uncontrollably. Fuck, where can he begin?

•

Your laugh was contagious. A sound so melodic to his ears — beautiful. Seeing you there, in his arms, naked and vulnerable — he could die from just looking at you.

He supported his weight on his right arm, the other tracing the apple of your cheeks, down to your lips, your chin — that he slightly tilted up so his lips could reach yours.

Geto could feel you smiling between the kisses, your happiness radiating off your lips, and body, your hands gathering as much of his dark hair as possible, forcing him to deepen the kiss.

It was impossible to stop at just one kiss when it was you. He couldn't remember the last he felt as much desire, a rollercoaster of mixed feelings that all centered around your whole person.

“ I want you” Geto whispered, his fingers finding the warmth of your cunt . His digits spread your folds, then circled your clit, the wetness already dripping down.

You let out a whimper, grinding on his hand for some friction, everything to make you feel satisfied. “I want you too” The words made the man above you completely unguarded.

He sank two of his digits into your hole, fingering you slowly, eager to hear you beg — like the very first time.

“Mmhh..”

“Feels good?” He asked, already sure of your answer.

You nodded your head before lowering your own hand to play with the puffy clit between your legs “You know it does…f-fuck”

___

“Careful with that”

“Shut up and trust me” You chuckled, taking another strand of hair and wrapping it around the curling iron.

You'd never seen such beautiful hair on anyone — and healthy. You almost felt jealous. After a few seconds you let go of the strand and curled it again with your finger then let it fall softly around his face.

Geto was surprisingly patient while you styled his hair, each strand made individually ”Are you finished?” He asked, tugging at his bangs only for the curls to bounce back ”I'm almost done” You said.

”Hurry. My butt is hurting”Laughing softly, you let go of the last piece of hair and reached for the expensive hair oil he always uses. A few pumps should be enough. You massaged your palms together before applying it ”Please let me take a few pics”

He turned his head to look at you ”Fuck no”

”Why–I promise I won't show them to anyone”

Geto, as much as he wanted to deny you, those pouty lips of yours could not be resisted. He sighed ”Fine, but only if I get something in return”

You smiled and immediately unlocked your phone ”Anything”

The man waited until you photographed his hair and grabbed your waist for you to settle on his lap. He pulled the bangs out of his face, the shorter strands resting on his naked shoulders ”Open the camera” Geto said, his hands pulling you closer, your chest smashing against his.

You did as you were told. ”Now angle it to your face” Again, following his command ”Press the video button”.

Clicking on the red dot the camera started recording and with that the fun began.

Geto angled you chin down, his lips touching yours in a soft, almost featherly kiss. With his eyes half lidded, he smirked before licking your bottom lip, asking for entrance.

You struggled to hold the phone at face angle and not drop it on the floor. The kiss grew more passionate, more rough, his tongue tasting yours. Never in your life were you kissed like that.

The boys you have been with were impatient and restless. They wanted one thing only – sex.

Geto was different. Patient, careful and so fucking passionate. Maybe because he was older, more aware and experienced. He always played his cards right, a single kiss from him getting more reactions out of you than needed.

He guided your hips to feel his growing erection, squeezing the fat of your ass, his hands tracing your back, tugging at your breasts ”Geto–”

”Is something bothering you?” The man chuckled, playing with the hem of your shirt ”Want to stop?”

You wanted so badly to feel him inside you now, if only a faded image of his wife hadn't shown up ”N-no but we have to”

He kissed down your neck before ripping the shirt and getting rid of your bra. Geto cupped your breasts and traced your nipples with his tongue ”No we don't”

”Mmmhh”

You tugged at the roots of his hair as he continued to suck on your breasts. His face was basically mushed in your chest but he could hardly care. Nothing was better than the feeling of you.

”Please stop–” You begged, depriving yourself of the euphoric feeling of your orgasm.

Geto pulled away, his face resting now on your shoulder ”What's wrong?Tell me”

You shook your head and got off of him. You didn't bother to pick up your bra and you just went straight to the bathroom.

While you were aggressively washing your face, wishing for the horrible person to just disappear, Geto stayed unmoved on the floor – wishing for the first time in years to be unmarried.

____

Something was terribly wrong. Why was he shutting her out? His own fucking wife.

She watched her husband leave the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his hips. His hair was dripping wet, making him shiver. “Do you need help drying your hair?” She asked, closing her book for a mere second.

He seemed lost, pacing around the room in search of something — anything “You're acting weird. Did something happen at work?”

“I skipped today” He muttered, tying his wet locks into a bun, his bangs falling out in an instant. With his hair now up, his wife had a perfect view of his muscular back.

She set her book aside and crawled behind him, her lips kissing up his shoulder blade all the way to his neck “You're in a bad mood.

“I'm not”

She lowered her hand so she could feel him through the material “Yes you are. Luckily I know exactly how to help you”

He grabbed her wrist, preventing her from removing the towel “I'm not feeling it tonight”

She placed her chin on his shoulder, pouting her lips, hoping that this method would convince him to give in.

Unfortunately, a man like Geto, when he decided on something, it should stay that way “Cut it off–” He turned to her, shrugging her off of him “I said I'm not feeling it”

She was shocked. That was the first time her husband denied her needs. On top of that, he was being rude, inconsiderate and resentful. What happened to the Geto she knew and loved? Because at that moment, a totally different person was sitting in front of her.

“Fine. I'm sorry” She mumbled, before turning around and falling asleep on the other side of the bed — which was cold and lonely.

The next morning however, he was behaving like nothing happened. Geto was smiling, throwing compliments at her, offering to give her a massage which inevitably ended up with him eating her out, making up for the asshole behavior he displayed the night before.

He forced her legs open, his tongue fucking into her cunt repeatedly, his fingers abusing her clit at the same time.

God, your pussy was just the best.

The way you were moaning, arching your back, playing with your tits “F-fuck ohh fuck–”

He loved you. He truly loved you.

“I can't get enough of you. God, I love you” Geto admitted, kissing the inside of your thighs.

Tangling your fingers in his hair you replied “I know you do. I love you too, my husband”

Snapping out of his fantasy, he looked up at the image of his naked wife. She was panting, her cheeks were flushed and her skin was glistening with sweat.

Clearing his throat, Geto unconsciously played with his lip piercing. He was quiet, a wave of concern hitting him abruptly. What was he thinking?

This is not happening….

“My love, what's wrong?” His wife asked, wrapping her legs around his waist, forcing him down.

He didn't resist, entering her with no problem. Her walls tightened around his length right after he started moving.

Thank the lord, for his long hair. The messy dark strands hiding away his embarrassment. Geto forced his eyes shut, biting his tongue, terrified of having your name escape his lips when the erotic feeling of his release would wash over him.

Oh fuck, Y/N….

___

“You have a beautiful smile” He was taken by surprise, but flashing you a big smile nonetheless. The man experienced butterflies in his stomach, the mere presence of you with him, making him feel young again.

Giggling you poked his side, continuing with the teasing “You're getting flustered quite easily. That's good to know”

Geto scrunched his nose before flipping you on your back, his arms caging you down “I'm glad you enjoy seeing me embarrassed” He joked, tugging your hair behind your ear.

“What a beautiful smile you have”

Your cheeks grew warm, hearing how effortlessly he spoke, how gentle.

Ever since you knew him, way before your affair, Geto Suguru has always been a well spoken person. His gentle personality paired with his breathing looks — it might seem like you actually won the lottery. If only….right?

You knew who was in all truth lucky….his wife. The woman that he swore to love endlessly, the woman who wore a custom made wedding band and who was being treated literal heaven every day.

And that woman was not you. You were just a mistress, someone who was there to only pleasure him, nothing more.

You cursed yourself internally for everything. Why'd you have to start this? Why couldn't you stay away and not get involved with him? Why…why?

“Y/N…get back here” He said, kissing your forehead.

You turned your head away, the feeling of his lips burning on your skin. Or was it shame?

Geto clasped your hands together right before speaking “I'll have to go on a trip for a few days. A business trip”

“And?”

“And…I want you to come with me”

“Why don't you take your wife?”

He raised his brows, taken back when hearing your words “Excuse me?”

“You've heard me. Why don't you take her?”

Geto scoffed before pulling away from you “Because I don't want her there with me”

You sat on your knees on the couch, angry at him, at you, at this whole mess “And you want to take me?! Sure thing”

He massaged his temples before pursuing “Yes. What's so wrong about that? About wanting to spend time with you”

“Just look at your ring. That's what's wrong”

You couldn't help it. You couldn't be the only one who suffered, who had demons praying on your sanity as payback for fucking a married man.

“Can't believe you…” He whispered, stretching forward to the glass table where his pack of cigarettes rested. He pulled one out and lit it, taking a fat drag right after.

“Oh really? Then let me ask you this. What would your poor wife think if she saw you fucking with me?”

Geto exhaled through his nose, the smoke disappearing into thin air. He licked his lips before taking another drag.

What has gotten into you? Don't you see how happy you make him? What's his wife have to do with all this? This is just you and him — no one else.

“You mean ex wife”

“Whatever…as long as you wear that ring and she has your name she is your wife and I'm your side chick” The tears were flowing down your face uncontrollably. Not even realizing you were crying, you continued to pour out your heart “I hate to break it to you but I'm not gonna sneak around any longer. I can't do it”

Geto put out his cigarette, rushing to take you into his arms. He held your weak self close to him, trying to comfort you at the best of his abilities.

He hated the sound of your cries. It was heartbreaking. Geto felt like someone just stabbed him and ripped out his heart and then stabbed him again.

“I hate this…and only because I wanted to prove her what I'm actually capable of”

He stopped breathing, his soul leaving his body “What did you say? What you're capable of?! Meaning what?”

Resting your hands on his chest you contemplated whether to tell him the truth or not. It can't get worse than this right?

Wrong.

“Right before that dinner a few months ago…I talked with my friend. I told her about your wife and how she keeps looking at me like I'm the worst thing to ever walk on earth and–”

“And?”

While sobbing, you gather your strength to continue with the story. That way you could actually feel something other than utter disgust — shame.

“I made a decision t-to give her something to truly worry about”

Geto bit his tongue so hard it started bleeding “Don't..”

Of course you didn't listen “It was my idea to get involved with you. Right from the start…it was my idea to make you cheat on her”

He couldn't listen to you anymore. Your words were all fading in the background.

Geto freaked out, rushing to get his jacket and phone and leaving your house as soon as possible. He didn't even hear you yelling after him to stop and listen. He just couldn't.

•

“That's quite a story” She said, unlocking her phone and clicking on the email from your dear father.

Geto nodded absently, before sneaking a glance at his wife's device “What are you doing?”

“I'm just making sure that little bitch would be there to properly apologize for ruining us”

#fanfic #x reader #anime #jjk smut #jjk x reader #jjk angst #jjk geto #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru x you #suguru geto smut #geto x reader #suguru geto x reader #geto suguru #jujutsu kaisen suguru #getou suguru x reader #jjk #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jjk au

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telomeke · 5 months

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10 (or So) BL Boys I Want Carnally (Plus a Couple of Girls Too)

I was tagged by @neuroticbookworm at this post here and @waitmyturtles at this post here. Thank you dearies! 🥰

Now here's the thing before I get on with the post: after a certain time I think sexual attraction is a phenomenon more intellectual than physical.

So the beautiful people I'm listing below are ones whom I think fit the list in my head as examples of those genetically blessed with sexual desirability. But it's not as though I'm really feeling a carnal stirring in the loins for them. No fantasied jumping of bones (or boners) here; I would probably run a mile in the opposite direction if any of them actually presented themselves naked and available to me, you get my drift?

Still, since the malls are open I do like to look (even if it's only window shopping through binoculars 🤣). So, in no particular order, with tongue firmly in cheek and more admiration in my head (for the obvious hard work at the gym) than lust in my heart (or anywhere else) – here goes: 😍

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1. Nonkul Chanon

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I know Nong Non looked like a little ball of Koreanesque sunshine in I Feel You Linger in the Air (really channeling 2PM's Wooyoung for me), but Mistah Santinatornkul used to be beefier and apparently lost weight to look all sweet and wispy for the role of Jom in IFYLITA.

Dunno bout you, but I miss the beef. (And if you do too, I urge you to click on the YouTube link above. 😁) Also, Nonkul had four lead roles in 2023; I think his star is on the ascendant, so keep an eye out for this one (he seems to have an international presence that most other Thai stars don't, though it beams eastwards). 🤩

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2. Ohm Pawat

I prefer him hunkier and chunkier like he was during his Bad Buddy Pat Napat days (he's too shredded and gangly beanstalk now for me) but I've actually met Ohm in real life and (I've said this before) his smile is supernova dazzling. Like everything else in the room simply fades to a blank whiteness. (Or maybe it was just me feeling faint. 🤣) Supremely photogenic (I don't think he has any bad angles), this boy definitely has the X factor and after Bad Buddy I will always be a diehard fan.

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3. MaxTul

The original kings of BL who never shied away and just went for it when it counted. I rue the loss of Tul to business or real estate or whatever it is he's focusing on now, but this coupling will always be legendary so I'm putting them together as one on my list.

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4. Gap Jakarin

You may be noticing a trend here, but I do like a bit of meat with my two veg. 😜🍆🥩🥬🍴🤣 Anyway I'm all goo-goo eyed at lovable himbo Yai in The Sign, especially when we see how smitten he is with his beautiful girlfriend Sand (who's canon transgender in the show, as Yoshi Rinrada is in real life too 💖). And that's carried over to my appreciation of Gap Jakarin in all his meaty meathead glory offscreen as well.

Plus when he was in the bulking phase (or maybe it was for a role?) Gap was also carrying a fair bit of baby fat in the following photo on his Instagram, and somehow that just makes him even more teddybeardorable in my eyes: 🧸😍

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5. Neo Trai

Always the boy you remember in roles you'd rather forget. I've liked his look (neck up) for a long time now; in his current gym bunny phase the rest of Neo is looking more buff by the day and I approve, aesthetically speaking. More to love. 😘

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6. Force Jiratchapong

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Nice to look at. Only just about makes up for his roles and acting though. I'm not hurrying to watch anything he's in, unless it's for a photoshoot like the one in the YouTube video above. 😮

7. Pavel Naret

It appears he's had a little surgical tweaking recently, but the doctors did a fine job and Pavel is always looking like he's some sort of walking sex buffet, dishing out sass and overflowing sex appeal at every turn. Still not enough to make me wanna watch Pit Babe though. 🤣

8. KaowOat Supasin

Apologies for the fuzziness of this screencap but I can almost feel non-existent ovaries swelling within me when I look at KaowOat's pensive buttcrack and delicately-placed fingers here. Almost makes me want to watch Playboyy The Series. Almost.

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9. Net Siraphop

I'm also on board with everybody's carnal favorite Net, even though I've not watched a single thing he's been in (Uea's kitty ears in Bed Friend did a good job warding me off, like garlic and crucifixes to a vampire so well done James Van Helsing). Nonetheless all the screenshots and GIFs were more than enough to leave me a little breathless at Net's honey-toned beauty. Those eyes telling of mysterious depths! That handsome jawline! That teasing glimpse of buttcheek with no tanline! When upon a time will we finally get Love Upon a Time? I'll be watching, if James can keep his furry ears out of frame.‌

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10. Kao Noppakao

Oh he of the excellent cheekbones and Cupid's Bow lips! Always looking so icy and unavailable, yet Kao utterly charmed his way into my heart in Lovely Writer (and then shattered it within the first few minutes of Until We Meet Again). Like Ohm he literally cannot take a bad photo; it's all Blue Steel and high fashion with this one.

BONUS 1 (because I am no respecter of limits):

Great Sapol is on here because he filled out his tight policeman's uniform so well in Manner of Death (and has me vibrating with pins and needles waiting for Wandee Goodday). And Taylor Zakhar Perez just because he was such a menace in Red, White & Royal Blue (that full frontal above is from Minx though). 😜 Plus TZP's name always gives me the giggles because zakar in a number of countries quite literally means what that eggplant is hiding. 🤣

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BONUS 2 (because these girls have made me feel something):

Zorzo Nathanan (formerly Zorzo Natharuetai)

Ever since she roared up and flicked those lovely long locks (and legs) on her motorcycle in Lovely Writer, I've been going weak at the knees for the ravishing confection that is Zorzo. Supposedly queer in real life too; just adds to the appeal. 🤩

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Namtan Tipnaree

Absolutely radiant and glowing in Last Twilight even though makeup and wardrobe have Namtan totally frumped out for the character of Porjai. If you can look this good with perpetual bedhead and a shapeless gray t-shirt, there's some kind of sexual sorcery going on and there's a part of me that wants whatever it is she's got. 💖

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I always tag too many people so I'm going to buck my brand and tag just one: @non-binarypal7. But consider yourself tagged if you've read this far and would like to play too – I just love reading other people's takes in tag games! 😍

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#tag game #10 bl boys i want carnally #some ql people i want carnally #gamely‚ if not gaily‚ playing along #YouTube

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theerurishipper · 6 months

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This is in response to some arguments in defense of the finale I've seen recently, and if you do believe these, then more power to you! But I disagree, and I'm gonna talk about why.

Rant under the cut. Fair warning, this gets pretty salty.

So I've seen a lot of arguments about how it just wouldn't be possible to have Adrien in the final battle, whether it be because it would be too traumatic for him and we can't explore that in the middle of a fight, or because it would take away focus from Marinette and she would be irrelevant ultimately. And I actually agree!

But what could possibly be done to resolve this? Oh, I know! Fucking write better.

If you were going to put Adrien in the position of being central to the story and write him out with the excuse that he can't live up to that role for various reasons, then why did you write him in that role? It's obvious to anyone that if Gabriel is Adrien's father, then the emotional weight of the conflict would be centered on him and not Marinette. Then why did you still write that into the show? If you wanted to focus on Marinette over Adrien anyway, then why did you make Gabriel be Hawkmoth? Let some other rando be Hawkmoth! And now there's no value to Gabriel being the villain beyond giving Marinette some material for her grand speech (which didn't do shit cause she still lost).

And if you were going to say that Adrien was too traumatized to be in the battle or that he wouldn't be able to deal with it well or that we couldn't see that... write around it? Have him deal with it before, or something, I don't know! Maybe give him that sweet sweet character development? Maybe let the friends who are supposed to support him actually do that? Idk man, this is all coming across as a bunch of excuses to me.

The thing is, this is a kids show. It's not real. The writers control everything that happens. It's not about "realism," it's about narrative payoff. It's about the most satisfying outcome. It's about character arcs. If Adrien was never supposed to face his father in a fight, then why make him a superhero? Could have just let him be Adrien the teen model love interest while Marinette is the superhero. Why give him powers which thematically represent him breaking free from his oppressive life and an enmity with his own father if it never mattered? If "it's us against the world, my lady," and "we'll get all the Miraculous back together," never mattered, then why include it? If two partners chosen to fight evil together and the yin-yang symbolism never mattered, why set it up?

If you set something up, you have a responsibility to deliver on it, and Miraculous failed. And yeah. I get that it's hard. I'm not saying writing is easy. But anything is better than this! Writing is your job, and I don't expect literal perfection, but I expect it to fulfill the basic expectations of writing. I expect it to at least be good. This is not good. They literally ignored their own story and themes and character arcs and narrative payoff because they wanted Marinette to get a swanky new outfit and a cool fight scene. It wasn't even for her character. It's just so that they can put give her a cool power-up and sell Bug Noire dolls. It's disrespectful to Adrien's character, and it's disrespectful to Marinette's character too.

The writers failed to make Marinette interesting in terms of the conflict with Gabriel. They gave all the set-up to Adrien and didn't want to write the payoff. There are no emotional stakes in the final battle. They literally only talk about Adrien, and he's not there for that. It's bad writing. And if they didn't let Adrien be a part of the arc with his father as the villain, what hope does he have in the arcs with Lila as the antagonist, since she is a Marinette-centric villain? TA has already said that Marinette is Barbie and Adrien is just Ken. The writers have said that Gabriel is considered a hero by the end of Season 5. The show bible says that Adrien will never find out that his father is Hawkmoth.

Let's face it, they aren't coming back to this. Gabriel's era is over. Miraculous is well known for setting up conflicts and dropping them like a hot potato. If we ever deal with this, it's gonna be half an episode of Adrien forgiving Marinette because "she did it out of love." None of this will matter come Season 6. The supposed conflict being set up now will matter to Season 6 as much as the Ladynoir set up in Strikeback with the "we'll take back all the Miraculous together, you and me," mattered to Season 5, which is to say not at all.

#Meta #My meta #S5 Finale #ML Salt #ML Writers Salt #ML Writing Salt #Marinette Salt #Not really but just to be safe #Ladybug Salt #If salt really ticks you off then please don't read this #I'm not here to change anyone's mind #I'm just ranting

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imagitory · 20 days

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Hey all! So recently Wish was added to Disney+, and I thought it might be a good opportunity for me to watch it again for the first time since I saw it in theaters. I asked you all what I should write about after watching it, and in the end, the top answers were an analysis of the criticism surrounding Wish and something focusing more on the positive aspects of the movie, rather than just the usual mindless bashing.

So that's what I intend to write! A look back at some of the common criticisms I've heard about the film, and how much weight they actually have.

Now, before we begin, I should put in a disclaimer -- I don't particularly like Wish as a film. I think it had ridiculous amounts of potential that were likely hampered by corporate decisions, but I personally find it to be one of Disney's weaker animated films. That being said, as promised, I will make any critiques I do include as balanced as I can, and I will try to include praise where I can too.

So let's start!

"Asha is a badly written character because she has no character arc."

This is a critique I actually found on a list also discussing valid criticism of Wish, and I knew I had to include it, because even BEFORE I rewatched the movie, I thought it was a bit unfair. Because here's the thing: there are plenty of good films, Disney or otherwise, where the main character doesn't have/need a character arc. All of Walt's original three princesses, Snow White, Cinderella, and Aurora, don't have character arcs. Ariel doesn't have an arc either -- instead her father Triton is the one who goes through a change of heart. Neither does Pongo, or Basil of Baker Street, or Robin Hood. Indiana Jones doesn't go through any real character development in Raiders of the Lost Ark, yet he was interesting enough to inspire a whole movie series! with mixed results. The important part is that even if a main character doesn't develop personality-wise, we should still be able to root for them and want them to achieve their goal. We don't want Cinderella to be abused by her stepfamily -- we want her to find someone who loves her and will take care of her the way she takes care of others. Although it can be more interesting to give your characters an arc while they pursue their goals, it isn't necessary to tell a good story or write a compelling character. Sometimes a story can be more focused on how their life circumstances or environment changes around them.

Another criticism this leads into is the idea that Asha is just another "quirky female lead" a la Rapunzel, except without any background that justifies it. And well...plenty of people griped that Anna was too much like Rapunzel, when Frozen came out. I saw people compare Moana to both Rapunzel and Mulan, when her film came out. Mirabel was also compared to past Disney heroines like Anna and Rapunzel. Even before Wish came out, people tried to argue that Asha looked just like Isabela Madrigal, which was just ridiculous. There's plenty of bad-faith criticism out there that'll shallowly associate one character or story element with one trope exclusively without looking at any nuance or detail. And I think most people would agree that truthfully, none of these female characters are the least bit "the same," no matter how much someone might try to all boil them down to "the quirky Disney female lead." And, like the others, Asha has traits that set her apart. The big one for me is her bent toward social justice, which is something we haven't really seen in a Disney leading lady since Esmeralda in The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Even so, I admit that Asha's quirkiness isn't as justified by her backstory as the trait is by Rapunzel's isolation or Mirabel's "outcast" status in her family, and that does make it so that her characterization has less depth than those of some of her counterparts'. Does that make Asha a bad character? Of course not. If you like Asha as written, that's totally fine. Underdeveloped doesn't have to mean unlikable.

"There are too many characters in this movie!"

Even I've been a bit guilty of thinking this. I still feel as though the film would've saved a lot of space if some aspects of Asha's friend group had been redistributed to other characters. Like okay, you want to reference the Seven Dwarfs in Asha's inner circle, but give them all distinctive personalities? Have her mother fill the Bashful role, and cut Bazeema. Have her grandpa be Happy, and cut Hal. Have Valentino be your Grumpy role, and cut Gabo. Have Star play your Dopey, and cut Dario. Suddenly you only have three characters -- Simon, Safi, and Dahlia -- to introduce in that kitchen scene instead of seven, and you've also now given Asha's mum, grandpa, and sidekicks more personality as well!

That being said, the amount of characters truly isn't the problem. The real problem is time. Because let's be honest, we can ALL think of media with a large cast of characters we've become strongly emotionally invested in. The Lord of the Rings -- The Avengers -- Hazbin Hotel...but the difference is how much time the audience is given to get to know all of these characters. Even Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, which has a cast of eleven, ends up leaving the Prince and the Huntsman rather underdeveloped compared to the Dwarfs. We don't ever learn the Evil Queen's whole deal or even her name, and she gets a lot of focus! With Wish only being ten minutes longer than Snow White with a cast of fourteen, it's little wonder the filmmakers struggled to have all fourteen of them leave a strong, unique impact. Even when I first watched the film, I didn't feel anything negative toward Asha's friend group -- if anything, I was happy to see a Disney animated female lead with a friend group of her peers, since the closest we'd gotten to that previously was Hiro in Big Hero 6 and Mei in Pixar's Turning Red. All of Asha's friends had the potential to be very interesting people, and that's why it's sad that we didn't get to see more of them and have the chance to become invested in them as individuals.

"Magnifico was actually right the whole time! Asha is the REAL villain of the story."

I see this one a lot, both from people who disliked the movie and fans who stan Magnifico, and as much as I won't give anyone a hard time for liking Magnifico, I think this view isn't really fair to either character or to the story the filmmakers pretty clearly wanted to tell. And sadly, as much as I want to be positive, I think this interpretation comes about partly because of inconsistent writing on the filmmakers' parts.

In Welcome to Rosas, there is this utopic vision presented of the island -- one that only reinforces the story told to us at the beginning by Asha, of how this man who loves wishes learned powerful magic so he could found this idyllic island kingdom with his wife where he could make wishes come true. Unfortunately, for some viewers, I think that propaganda works a little too well -- making us see Rosas as a place that truly is that happy and content and peaceful. And yeah, that does make it so that when Asha sings about how she wants "more than this," that could make her come across as rather selfish and entitled. But I think there are a few things that are good to remember --

Welcome to Rosas is framed as an advertisement of sorts -- like one of those commercials you see promoting Disneyland and how magical it is, without ever bringing up how much money it costs or how many lines you'll have to stand in. Asha's guiding some new people around with the goal of convincing them to stay and give their wishes to Magnifico, so of course it's going to sanitize the kingdom and make it seem like a place you'd want to stay in. There's blatant hyperbole thrown in there for dramatic effect, like the idea that you could go to outer space. Asha even sings that you're "unlikely to be unhappy": not that you'll be happy living on this island, just not unhappy. And yes, there is a difference between contentment and true, fulfilling happiness.

Simon's friends flat-out call him boring, after he turned eighteen and gave up his wish. This foreshadows what we learn about the wishes later, which is that they're a core part of a person that they're left a shadow of themselves without. At the wish ceremony later on, we can see this in the animation of the two "new citizens" giving their wishes to Magnifico. When they think of their wishes, they're full to the brim with joy, but when they've given them up, they're left looking confused and almost bereft, and even as everyone else cheers, they look unconvinced by the crowd's cult-like "forget without regret" chant. According to Wish's own canon, you're cutting out the "heart" of who you are, when you give up your wish.

Considering Amaya says that Asha will need to keep the tea hot, listen whenever and for however long Magnifico wants to talk, and never question anything, Magnifico didn't want an apprentice -- that would insinuate he'd actually be teaching them magic. If anything, it sounds more like he wanted a personal servant to cater to his whims. And when that person interviewing before Asha disappoints him, he's left running down the hall crying hysterically. This develops Magnifico as the film's future antagonist. Already long before he uses the evil magic book, we see that he wants a subordinate to do whatever he wants without question or complaint, seemingly for nothing in return except his own approval and, I would presume, some sort of paycheck. (I mean, I'm not saying Asha was right to expect favors from Magnifico so soon, or that that kind of quid-pro-quo stuff isn't corrupt as heck, but considering she and Magnifico did seem to connect over how important the wishes were, and considering Sabino's 100 years old, can you blame Asha for opening up about her hope that Magnifico would consider granting her grandfather's wish? She never framed it as a quid-pro-quo, and this probably would be the best chance she'd have to appeal to the King directly.)

Asha is seventeen! Of course her world view is going to be smaller and more idealistic than Magnifico's, and of course her family is going to be the center of her world. At the same time, even if Asha is young, it doesn't mean her perspective isn't worthy of compassion and respect. Sometimes the young do have a more meaningful view of a situation than their elders -- just look at David Hogg, or Malala Yousafzai, or Greta Thunberg...hell, even Anne Frank! However upset Magnifico was about Asha disagreeing with and contradicting him, it does not justify how pettily he decided to shut her down. He was an adult, and a ruler besides: it behooved him to act like one.

The filmmakers clearly envisioned Magnifico as the villain. Even if you want to ignore the promos where they compared Magnifico to the likes of classic Disney villains, Magnifico is portrayed as an arrogant, vain, vindictive control freak. He thinks only he knows what's best for everyone else, has decreed that only he has the authority to cast magic or grant wishes, and knows how beautiful people's wishes are, but prefers to hoard them away like trinkets, long before realizing that crushing them gives him power. (Not to mention he looked at Asha's hand-drawn animation and actually said, "Do we call that a talent?" I mean -- excuse you!) I've even heard some people theorize that Magnifico was based off Disney's "collect-'em-all" CEO himself, Bob Iger, and not in a flattering way. His main argument scene with Asha has been compared to how creatives have felt about their corporate bosses abruptly shutting down and locking away their incomplete films rather than let them be finished or released. Admittedly Wish also goes out of its way to try to make Magnifico sympathetic by giving him the slightest of tragic backstories, having him actually trust Asha enough to show her the wishes after only just meeting her, and (later on) not giving into the temptation of the random evil magic book because Amaya asks him not to, and that definitely muddies the waters. I still have to stand by the fact, though, that one's motivation doesn't excuse their bad behavior, however much one can explain the other. Magnifico having a sad backstory or trauma doesn't mean he's justified in treating people poorly, collecting wishes for his own enjoyment instead of truly loving them and the people they're attached to by sharing them with others, or not wanting people to ever question him or his authority. Magnifico's "nicer" moments don't mitigate these things either. Nor does his role as king. Even if yes, the story could've done well to add more nuance to the idea of wishes and make clear that not all of them are good -- and yes, the story could've either made Magnifico's villainy a bit more straightforward or followed through with the idea of Magnifico being a misguided anti-villain...in this film, we only see good wishes represented in Rosas. Magnifico even calls the wishes "the very best part [of a person]" -- and so one can only presume that all of the wishes Magnifico's collected are that way. Asha even suggests (before Magnifico interrupts her) that if a wish is dangerous, they could probably address that, while still giving back the wishes Magnifico won't grant. And the wish that Magnifico explicitly calls too "dangerous" to grant is Sabino wanting to inspire future generations, presumably through music. Paranoia on Magnifico's part? Perhaps, but also unjustified, in the context of the film. When Star comes down, every last person in Rosas -- including Magnifico's wife and queen, Amaya, who presumably must know something of his trauma and understand wanting to protect their people -- feels nothing but warmth, hope, and joy: all except for Magnifico, who immediately reacts in fear just seeing the wishes moving outside of his control. This insinuates that Magnifico's perception is the odd one out -- he's the only one who's afraid and not inspired, because that alternative magic threatens his absolute rule and control. Just like he's threatened by his people asking too many questions about the wishes he's taken. Just like he's threatened by the idea that Sabino could inspire the next generation in a way he doesn't approve of. And in the end, if that random evil book did corrupt Magnifico, it only magnified what was already there inside of him -- a greedy, obsessive need to hoard things away all for himself and to control others.

Again, for those people who see Magnifico more sympathetically than the filmmakers intended, I can understand why. Wish has two very conflicting ideas of who Magnifico is supposed to be, likely because it was compiled from dramatically different script drafts. But I feel demonizing Asha or ignoring the film's overall message about the value of people being free to chase their dreams to try to prop Magnifico up is misguided.

"Wish is bad because it's 'woke.'"

I almost wonder if I even need to say anything. This sentiment is so disingenuous, it seems like I should really be able to let it speak for itself. Ironically enough, though, I would actually argue that one of Wish's biggest shortcomings is that it isn't as revolutionary as it clearly wants to be.

For one, the culture of Rosas -- inspired largely by Spain and the Mediterranean -- is really never explored. We get no real influence of either of those cultures on the soundtrack aside from a few mandolins and a flourish of castanets now and again, unlike how Encanto embraces Colombia or how The Princess and the Frog celebrates New Orleans with their music. There's a lot of diversity in Wish's cast with a biracial lead and her colorful friend group (including Dahlia, who has a crutch!), but that would be a lot more meaningful if that diverse cast of characters had had fully fleshed-out personalities and relationships that made us emotionally invested in them, such as how Turning Red handled Mei and her friend group. We have aspects of social justice in Wish's storyline, sure -- but as much as you can draw parallels to Wish's story and the writers' strike that had been going on earlier that year and I think those parallels are striking, a film that clearly dealt with so much corporate oversight and meddling almost couldn't commit to making their villain a True Evil sort, and in the end, Rosas doesn't even do away with the absolute monarchy at the end of their supposed "revolution": it just shifts leadership from its King to its Queen. (And yes, I acknowledge saying "no more royalty" is a message that Disney, of all companies, would be hesitant to put out there, but you can't deny, it would've been both ballsy and different.)

Does this mean Bob Iger was right, that Wish is proof its creative types are focusing too much on message and not on entertainment? No. I'd say the bigger problems with the film were more likely caused by corporate interference -- you know, like hiring some popular pop composers to write songs that can be repackaged into other projects easily rather than primarily tell the story and develop the characters. Or deciding that our main female lead has to be able to do everything on her own without "too much help" from her main co-star (LOL, pun) because "feminism." Or defanging the villain with similarities to the company's CEO so he won't scare the kiddos. Or even animating the film at the exact same time as you're writing it like you previously did with Frozen II, to save time and take advantage of the 100th anniversary timing.

Even so, I sadly can't help but feel that Wish is "woke" largely in a performative sense. It features people who look different from each other and it talks about revolution and positive change, but it really doesn't go far enough to depict diversity in a way that people can get really excited about it or inspire deep thought and even maybe positive change in its audience. That's not focusing too much on message and not on entertainment -- if anything, it's more indicative of not giving the relevant and timely themes and the diverse culture enough focus.

"The meta Disney references are awful."

This one I think really is much more subject to personal taste. I've heard quite a few fans say how fun it is to find all the Easter eggs for other Disney projects or even to theorize how Wish could be connected to those movies in some kind of Disney Cinematic Universe. Personally I'm not in this camp, but that doesn't mean that I hate all the references included. The film opening with the exact same kind of text from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs actually made me smile. The Sleeping Beauty-esque drawing style in the storybook was pretty. Even the Seven Friends as an idea I thought was cute, when I first saw the concept art for them.

By and large, the references I tend to see more favorably are the ones only hard-core Disney/animation fans would pick up on. This might make me sound snooty, but I still personally enjoy references like Star's design being based on one of the star cherubs from a discarded Snow White sequence far more than I do the more blatant ones like Magnifico crushing a dream about a "perfect nanny" or the boy dressed like Rosasbound!Peter Pan. I guess for me, the first kind of references feel more like homages, rather than things that are deliberately supposed to make you think of other Disney movies you could be watching instead of this one. For other people, though, thinking of different Disney films while watching Wish is fun, and it reminds them of how much they enjoy those other movies too. It's good, clean, nostalgic entertainment. And well, Disney has put plenty of Easter eggs in its work before, though usually a bit more sparingly.

So yeah, I think ragging on the flood of Disney Easter Eggs in Wish is a bit unfair. As much as most of them aren't for me and I would've been happier with a lot less of them, I know there are other people who find joy in them, and I'm happy they do. The animators working on this film undoubtedly had a lot of fun including those references too, and I don't blame them! It's fun to create art celebrating what you love with like-minded people.

"Wish's songs are all terribly written."

Now up to a certain point, I could just say exactly what I said against the last criticism -- that this really comes down to personal opinion. Unlike meta Easter eggs, however, music is an art form, and there is real craftsmanship to it -- hell, people study music theory for a reason. And as several Youtubers have discussed before, there are real structural problems to how a lot of these songs are written. In some cases, it's an issue of cadence, where the way the words are sung don't sound like how they'd be naturally spoken aloud. In Knowing What I Know Now, for instance, sometimes the singers use the wrong emphasis on certain words, just based on where they land in the song, such as when Asha sings about Magnifico showing his "TRUE col-ORS in SHADES of GREEN," even if people don't naturally emphasize the second syllable in the word "colors." In other cases, it's over-stuffing a line with words so that the melody line isn't as memorable, such as in This Wish where the amount of syllables per line are all over the place and sentences get cut in weird places --

Isn't truth supposed to set you free? (9) Well, why do I feel so weighed down by it? (10) If I could show them everything I've seen, (10) Open their eyes to all the lies, then (9) Would they change their minds like I did? (8) But when I speak, they tell me, "Sit down!" (9) But how can I when I've already started runnin'? (8) Oh, this is where we've been, (6) But it's not where we belong, (7) And I may be young, but I know I'm not wrong... (11)

There are also cases where the songs barely use any actual rhymes in favor of half-rhymes or worse twist themselves into pretzels just to make an actual rhyme, such as in I'm a Star, with lines such as "When it comes to the universe we're all shareholders // Get that through your system! (Solar!)" and "Ooh, I'm a star! // Watch out, world, here I are!" (Excuse me while I cringe.) And then of course, most infamously, there are the redundant and otherwise weird lyric choices, most commonly cited in Magnifico's And This is The Thanks I Get?!, such as "I got these genes from outer space!" and "I let you live here for free and I don't even charge you rent!"

By and large, people have not responded as well to Wish's soundtrack as they have for many other Disney musicals. It could also be argued that the songs don't tell the film's story as well as they could've. The most egregious example of this is At All Costs, which is supposed to be our villain and hero singing about the beauty of the wishes the first has collected, but was literally written as a love song first, just because Julia Michaels wanted to write a song that could be played at people's weddings even if the movie in question didn't feature any romance. Even This Wish was written well before the script was finished, and this is when we can tell from all the concept art released by Disney that this movie had been dramatically rewritten at multiple stages of development.

And yet even with this, I still see people making animatics for At All Costs featuring their own characters or Asha and the discarded Starboy concept. (And yes, we'll come back to that.) I still see fan-made music videos featuring This Wish. Hell, even I have some of Wish's songs on my IPhone, and I listen to them actively! Knowing What I Know Now, as much as I see what's technically wrong with it, is still a bop for me. However much I had to take a full-on sanity break after listening to I'm a Star a second time, I do enjoy This Wish and At All Costs, just on their own. I don't think This Wish (reprise) is a bad musical or thematic climax, especially if one considers Magnifico's fear that Sabino's wish was to inspire the next generation through music, and it ends up being a song -- sung by his loving granddaughter -- that ultimately defeats our antagonist. I don't think any of Wish's songs really help tell the story as well as other Disney songs do for their films, but I still think there's room for personal taste here. Music -- like all art -- still has an element of subjectivity. It isn't a science -- yes, there is talent and skill involved that can only be mastered with practice and hard work, but there's still a bit of magic that comes with the finished result, and as much as it might not be popular with the masses, that doesn't necessarily make something worthless, or that public consensus can't change. Tchaikovsky famously hated the work he did for The Nutcracker, as did the critics of his day, only for it to go on to become a staple of holiday entertainment and ballet productions overall. Plenty of cult classic films like Labyrinth and Heathers didn't make a lot of money or get lots of praise when they first came out, but soon enough they found their audience.

"The animation is lazy!"

There's actually a much better video discussing this, made by a real professional animator, and I think I'll just let him handle this.

youtube

One thing I want to touch on, though, is Jennifer Lee's commentary about why Wish ultimately wasn't done in 2D animation --

"What happens in hand-drawn is that you have the incredible hand of the artist, but also limitations in what you could do on screen. What happened in CG is you'd have incredible, boundless opportunities, visually, that elevated it — even to the point for some — into realism, which is not what we wanted to do. The more important thing to us was to have a way to find technology that can do everything. Connect to the true vision of the artist, but bring in technology that could finally take away limitations."

-- and yeah, I'm not going to lie, this sentiment leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. The idea that hand-drawn animation somehow limits what art you can create is mind-boggling for anyone working in animation to think, but especially for someone working in Disney animation. I can't help but feel like Uncle Walt would've been ticked if he'd heard anyone suggest this. Anyone who loves animation I think would be annoyed by it, and I'd say people like Hayao Miyazaki continue to prove that Lee's thought process isn't true, considering that his hand-drawn film won the Oscar for Best Animated Feature the same year that Lee's Wish was passed over by the Academy altogether. To be fair, though, this is more a reflection on certain Disney leaders' dismissive attitude toward the medium that built their company as well as the vast majority of the films they're supposedly celebrating, rather than any condemnation of the hard-working animators who worked on Wish. And yes, although no one can argue that Wish ultimately doesn't look as good as its animated peers like Sony's Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse (which was made with half the budget Wish was), that's more the fault of a flawed vision on the part of the filmmakers than anything. It's certainly not indicative of a lack of talent, resources, or caring from the animators themselves.

"Wish would've been so much better if it had featured a love story between Starboy and Asha!"

Okay, let me pop this bubble right now --

None of Disney's official releases have ever indicated Star was going to be Asha's love interest.

The concept art featuring Asha and human!Star? Yeah, that exists, but there's nothing strictly romantic in any of those concepts, like them kissing or even hugging. At All Costs originally supposedly being a love song for Asha and Star? As touched on above, nope, it was even more of a cynical corporate decision than that -- the songwriters just wanted to write a love song that they could repackage and use elsewhere, even if there was no love story to go with it. The thing about Asha and Star supposedly being soulmates? That's derived from a comment in the artbook from Wish co-writer Allison Moore, talking about Asha and Star in their current forms, and so therefore the sentiment was intended platonically --

"Now Star and Asha have an emotional journey. They are soulmates."

And well, just based on a good chunk of the Disney animated films that had come out prior to Wish featuring male and female leads -- Zootopia, Moana, Big Hero 6, Wreck-It-Ralph -- there was really nothing definitive to suggest that our two central characters were going to be romantically linked. And even if Star and Asha were going to be love interests, that still would've been no guarantee of a better movie -- you'd still need compelling, well-developed characters, if you want to likewise have a compelling, well-developed relationship between them. And as I've argued in the past, a movie doesn't need romance to be good. If someone could feel sincere platonic love between Star and Asha as their actual movie selves, then any romance between them wouldn't be needed. I truly believe the only reason that so many people have gotten so hung up on the idea of a Star/Asha romance is because that original platonic "soulmates" idea Allison Moore and others envisioned just didn't ring true for them. They saw more love and interesting chemistry between the original concept art versions of Star and Asha than they did between any of the characters in the finished film...and so they've built upon those flickers of love with their own imagination and then built that mental image up into something that I don't think the filmmakers probably ever intended.

I must be honest, it was kind of a slog, watching Wish for a second time. I stopped multiple times to take notes, unable to just sit back and let the movie wash over me. Even so, I truly appreciate how much time you must've spent to skim through this way-too-long analysis, as well as the votes you all cast in that one poll of mine! I love analyzing Disney, and as much as I don't love Wish, I do think it provided great fodder for new fan creations and has amazing potential as an educational tool about both good storytelling and film-making. And if there are more criticisms of Wish you'd like me to discuss, please feel free to reblog this post with them! Thank you for your support!

To close us out...if you love Wish, then keep on loving it! Don't let anyone -- including me -- tell you otherwise. I don't think a film that was truly the worst thing ever would've attracted as much attention or overanalyzing as Wish has received. And for those of you who are still dissatisfied with Wish, here's a list of films I compiled that you can watch and enjoy instead!

For Starboy/Asha stans...Stardust!

For both Starboy and Chris Pine stans...Rise of the Guardians!

For those of you who love the idea of storytelling magic...Whisper of the Heart!

For those of you hungry for a diversely cast, "woke" fairy tale...Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella (1997)!

For people looking for a colorful, family-friendly musical...Wonka!

For avant-garde animation fans...Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio!

For modern CG animation fans...Puss in Boots: The Last Wish!

And finally, probably most obviously -- for those Disney fans looking for a loving tribute to 100 years of Disney Animation with a bunch of Easter Eggs and good humor...Once Upon a Studio!

Much love to you all! 💛

#disney wish #wish (2023)#wish critical #disney #opinion #analysis #oh boy here i go

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