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thereceptioniststyles · 4 months

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Stolen Glances

Harry.

His name echoed in my mind, a constant presence that refused to let me sleep. I was consumed by an insatiable curiosity about him. When would our paths cross? What did he really look like? Did he possess the necessary skills to excel as a receptionist? These questions may have seemed trivial, but little did I know that Harry would become the catalyst for the destruction of my entire existence.

The days crawled by, each one dripping with mounting anticipation. I found it nearly impossible to concentrate, the mere thought of his imminent arrival sending shivers down my spine. And yet, fate had a cruel twist in store for me. Our meeting would not unfold as I had envisioned. No, it would be the other way around.

I parked my car on the desolate street, my hands trembling as I rummaged through my purse in search of my employee badge. The frigid air bit at my fingers, numbing them to the bone, making it a challenge to locate the badge amidst the chaos within my bag. After what felt like an eternity, I finally grasped it, only to have my nerves intensify as I hastened my pace down the pavement. The weight of the unknown bearing down on me.

I arrived at the entrance of the imposing building, the echo of my footsteps drowned out by the sound of my racing heart. With a trembling hand, I swiped my ID card, granting myself access to the enigmatic realm that awaited me. As I stepped inside, my eyes were immediately drawn to the reception desk where two girls engaged in animated conversation, their attention seemingly fixated on a phone call, undoubtedly scheduling an appointment. And then, it happened. Our gazes collided. Him.

Harry was nothing like the image I had constructed in my mind. In my fantasies, he was a polished intellectual, a charming nerd of sorts. But reality shattered my illusions. I stood there, rooted to the spot, utterly stupefied. Callie had not been exaggerating when she spoke of his attractiveness.

He was breathtaking. His dark hair cascaded in gentle waves, as though meticulously crafted to caress his forehead with effortless grace. His eyes, oh those piercing green eyes, possessed an intensity that could penetrate the very walls of my soul. His skin, concealed beneath a rolled-up button-down shirt, hinted at a fair complexion tinged with a subtle tan. And there, just beneath the cuff, tantalizing glimpses of inked artistry teased my hungry eyes.

My heart threatened to burst through my ribcage, its erratic beats echoing in my ears like a war drum. I prayed fervently that he hadn't caught me in the act of staring, my gaze fixated on him like a moth drawn to a flame. With trembling hands, I gathered my belongings, desperate to appear composed as I scurried towards my desk. I cast my eyes downward, then upward, anywhere but in his direction. I struggled to regain my focus, but it was an uphill battle. The world around me seemed to freeze, time grinding to a halt while my palms grew clammy with nervous perspiration.

As clients checked out and appointments were booked, I threw myself into the tasks at hand, a whirlwind of activity to distract myself from the magnetic pull of Harry's presence. I rushed to answer the phone, offering assistance to the person on the other end of the line. I did everything in my power to keep my hands and mind occupied, until I reached a point where distraction was futile.

One girl was engrossed in a phone call, another on her lunch break, and suddenly it was just Harry and me. I stole glances in his direction, catching glimpses of him, absorbed in learning the intricacies of the computer system. I could feel his eyes on me too, a magnetic connection that sent shivers down my spine. I silently thanked myself for taking the extra time to primp and preen, unwilling to appear anything less than presentable in his presence. After all, a guy like him, he was practically divine.

Suddenly, a voice shattered the cacophony of conflicting thoughts that had been swirling in my mind. The sound of his chair wheels sliding across the floor reverberated through the air, drawing my attention towards him.

"Hi," Harry's voice was a soft whisper, sending an electric current coursing through my veins. "I'm Harry."

In those few words, I felt a primal surge of wildness coursing through my being. It was as if my very essence had been awakened, ready to unleash an untamed, feral side of myself that I never knew existed.

The desire coursing through my veins was insatiable, an all-consuming fire that threatened to consume me whole. I longed to tear through any obstacle that stood between us, to claw my way to him and feel the strength of his arms, hidden beneath those rolled-up sleeves. My heart yearned to devote itself entirely to him, to become a willing sacrifice at the altar of his presence. In that moment, he was a god, and I was but a mere mortal, ready to surrender myself to his whims.

I nodded, my head barely moving, as if I were in a trance. I paused, gathering my thoughts for a fleeting moment, before slowly lifting my gaze to meet his. His emerald eyes bore into the depths of my soul, capturing my very essence in their hypnotic gaze.

"I'm Ayla," I whispered, my voice barely audible. I kept my introduction brief, fully aware of the potential to make a complete fool of myself. I had to tread carefully, to consider my every word and action in his presence.

A smile played at the corners of his lips, a mischievous glint in his eyes, as he extended his hand towards me, an invitation for a handshake. My hand trembled as it found its place within his, our palms meeting in a delicate clasp. A surge of electricity surged through me, setting my entire body ablaze.

"So, do you enjoy this job?" Harry inquired, his voice laced with genuine curiosity and a thick British accent. I nodded, a silent affirmation of my satisfaction.

"Yeah, it's fun. It has its ups and downs, but then again, what job doesn't?" I replied, attempting to maintain composure despite the whirlwind of emotions swirling within me.

Our eyes remained locked, an unspoken connection forming between us, until our manager emerged from her office, interrupting the charged atmosphere. She was a stern, no-nonsense woman who commanded respect with every stride. Her presence was a stark contrast to the intoxicating aura that surrounded Harry.

"Ah, Harry," our manager's voice cut through the air, her tone businesslike yet friendly. "I see you've met Ayla, one of our valued team members."

Harry released my hand, reluctantly breaking our connection, and turned towards our manager. "Yes, we just had a very brief introduction," he replied, his voice betraying a hint of warmth.

"Well, Ayla," our manager addressed me, her gaze piercing. "I trust you'll show Harry the ropes and ensure he settles in smoothly."

I nodded, my heart pounding in my chest as I absorbed the weight of her words. Showing Harry the ropes meant spending more time with him, delving deeper into the enchanting allure he exuded. It was an opportunity I simultaneously craved and feared.

"Of course," I managed to say, my voice steady despite the torrent of emotions threatening to overwhelm me.

"Ayla," she declared with a commanding tone, her voice cutting through the air like a sharp blade. "Step into my office. I have a question."

I rose swiftly from my desk, relief washing over me like a cool, soothing wave. She had come to my rescue, sparing me from the torment of prolonging the conversation with him. It wasn't right for me to entertain such thoughts, especially when I had a devoted boyfriend. Though our demanding schedules kept us apart, Beck and I had been together for nearly two years, and the last thing I needed was to be consumed by thoughts of another man who seemed out of my league.

I obediently followed Callie into her office, the heavy door clicking shut behind us. She pivoted to face me, her eyes piercing into mine, as she settled into the chair across from me.

"So," she began, her voice dripping with caution and concern, "Harry is undeniably attractive, and it's no secret that everyone finds him so. But you and Harry? That's a dangerous path, Ayla. I know you have a boyfriend, but life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs, doesn't it? Focus on your work, stay grounded, and you'll be just fine. Besides, Harry, well, he's considerably older than you, isn't he?"

I nodded, though deep inside, I was engulfed in a sea of uncertainty. How could she draw such conclusions from a mere introduction and a brief handshake? It was unprofessional of her to pry into my personal affairs, but there was a grain of truth in her words. I had Beck, my pillar of support, the one who stood by my side.

All Parts

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49-ibr · 1 month

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14 DAYS REMAINING!

49: VOLUME 01 is out on May 7th 2024!

A caged princess. A too-trusting hero. A blood-drinking pirate.

A secret to uncover.

And, just in case that isn't enough, here is a oneshot set in the world I've only just begun to explore! How does it relate to the book coming out? You'll see...

(NO CONTEXT NEEDED)

“What do you know of the gods, Adonis?”

A gentle wind whistled through the berry-scented air, pulling delicate leaves from the gnarled twigs they grew from. Each fluttered through the sky like feathers in the breeze, and then slipped from their branch-woven balcony, disappearing into the mist below.

A table and two chairs were planted on this balcony, planted being a literal term. Flowers wound around wooden legs, and the bumpy bark-covered table had perfect indents to hold glasses of wine.

Adonis ran his fingers over the crystal-encrusted hilt of his sword, humming to himself. “I know much,” he said. “But who doesn’t?”

There was not a being in this world that did not believe in the gods, and how could there be? Mankind would not exist with no creator, and their magic-wielding followers were further proof of the divine.

Silent, the storyteller took a moment to ponder, and Adonis took the moment to sip at his brimming cup of wine, finding it oddly tongue-tingling and sweet. It was far from what he was used to.

The storyteller’s lips parted once more. “What do you think of the gods, Adonis?” he finally asked.

As he lowered his wine, Adonis quirked an eyebrow, though still ran his other thumb over the most starlike of the sword’s jewels, tracing a beloved constellation. “What I think of them, sir?”

“Yes, Adonis. What do you think of them?”

Adonis found himself pausing, as pensive as his mentor. “I think... they’re more forces of nature than anything. They aren’t something to praise or to battle or to scorn, more... something to live amongst. I respect my god, of course, but I don’t consider him to be anything more than an equal. My equal.”

A chuckle slipped from the storyteller’s lips, especially as he lifted his own mug of dark wine, taking a long, slow sip. “And who taught you that particular mindset, Adonis?”

“I taught myself. Is there something wrong with it?”

“Not at all.” The storyteller took another sip of his dark wine, staining his lips like a bruise. “But I have a tale of sorts that just might change your mind, Adonis, if it doesn’t confirm your every belief.”

“What kind of tale?”

The storyteller hummed a low, deep tune. “A belief, something rooted in both mythology and fact. But I won’t criticise you if you choose to believe in every part of it, nor if you refute it all.”

Adonis laughed lightly, and sat back in his wooden chair, adjusting the sheath at his hip. “And do you know if it’s true, sir?”

“No,” said the storyteller in a tone that spoke of finality. “I don’t.”

“Then I’ll gladly uncover this great mystery with you.” Adonis crossed one leg over the other, taking on a posture that was a little more relaxed. His hands were far from his sheath. “Go on.”

A moment passed. Two. Three.

The storyteller placed both hands onto the table, interlocking his scarred fingers in a manner that brought great attention to them. For a moment, Adonis could focus on nothing else at all.

It looked as if several rings had once donned those dark fingers, but that all of them had been violently stolen away.

Had the storyteller once been wed? More than once, even?

“Many men say that the first creation of the gods was not the land, nor the air, nor the fire in their hearths,” said the storyteller, speaking as if to the sky, “but the water that stretches into infinity and cradles every island of Ungode, like a mother embracing her dear womb.”

Adonis nodded slowly, and said not a thing.

“Those who say this,” the storyteller continued, in that same slow, pensive tone, “are incorrect, though the foolish believe them to know all. Those folk think far too literally.”

“And you don’t?”

The storyteller’s wine-stained lips quirked, though only a little. He leant in, just slightly, holding Adonis’s gaze. “I’ve always been better at seeing the bigger picture than most, seeing magic over matter. My god doesn’t bless those who don’t deserve these gifts, after all.”

Adonis’s tongue darted to wet dry lips, before he realised he still had his cup of wine. Raising it to his tongue, he took a hearty sip.

“You cannot begin with only the physical, Adonis. You cannot begin with the land and the sea and the sky.”

As Adonis lowered his half-empty cup onto the table, he half-smiled at the man sat opposite him. “How could they begin with anything but the physical, sir? We need earth below our boots, after all.” The irony of this statement emerging from his lips in a kingdom of Air did not escape Adonis’s notice.

“What would be the point to a flourishing forest without a single beast? Would be the point to a city without any human to fill its homes? What would be the point to a physical world with nothing alive lurking inside? The living aren’t the physical, after all.”

Adonis’s brow furrowed, but he had nothing left to say, nothing but questions he was sure were about to be answered, or ignored no matter how much he pestered.

He simply listened without another thought in his mind.

“The gods did not make land first, and then the soul, Adonis. The gods made land for the soul, for mankind in its entirety.”

Another moment passed. Two. Three.

Even the wind was silent, though in this kingdom of Air, it was usually as plentiful as a heartbeat. Not a thing kept Adonis from listening to his mentor. His mentor he still hardly knew.

The storyteller finally leant in. “Do you think man worships the gods, or do you think the gods worship man?”

#my post #49ibr #writing #writeblr #fantasy #adonis nightlin #a feather in the breeze #writer #writers #my writing #gods #magic

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ifellinlovewithpersona · 1 year

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I FINISHED NOCTURNE BITCHES!!!!!

Another milestone in being a Megaten fan reached!

Finished this game with True Demon Ending as I planned to do of course

As usual, after finishing the game - more of my thoughts under the cut:

Wow, this game was just... wow. So far I think, this is my favorite SMT game and one of the favorite Megaten games in general. This was an absolute masterpiece of the game, I enjoyed it VERY much even if the game was extremely hard and some parts and drove me to tears at least during a couple fights haha (for example during Trumpeter fight where I literally was sitting with a freaking CALCULATOR to count the damage (and to know when this horror would end) and 4 sticks representings tours lmaoo)

Story and atmosphere wise, I enjoyed this game way more than V so far. This horror-like atmosphere was literally so good and totally different from atmosphere of V where (at least imo) it reminded me more of a some kind of Dark Fairytale, while this game reminded me more of a dreamcore horror (and a little of drugs symulator, cause the aesthetics for some places and characters that Kaneko had was literally crazy at some parts, it's hard to believe that he came with all of that on a sober mind haha). Like I definitely believe that this game is worth playing even just for the weird aesthetics of it (the gameplay is fire tho :P)

As for gameplay, I still believe I prefered more of a V's battle system and gameplay in general but I can excuse that one as III is an 20-years old PS2 game and some battle features that V has didn't appeared earlier than in 2015 when P5 appeared so I can excuse that (still, not having guard feature during some battles was hell ngl but at least I learned the power of good buffs and debuffs more than in V haha)

As for final boss battle - Kagutshuhi turned out to be laughably easy at lvl 95 (my party was physical build Demi Fiend with Gaea Rage, Freikugel, Focus, Tarukaja, Repel Phys and couple more other skills, Raidou, Uber Pixie and Mada), Lucifer was slightly worse (especially when he REALLY got mad at me and used High King and Root of Evil in the same turn, I survived only because I had Endure skill) but I still managed to beat him in first try so I'm proud of myself haha (so glad I'm actually an item hoarder lol). Thank goodness this fight at least had some background music cause if it was at this level and if it was damn silent like in V, it would be twice as scary haha

As for the True Demon Ending itself, I enjoyed it actually. It was really interesting and I found out so many things about SMT lore while doing it so I'm glad I've done that one first. I know that in SMT there is no such a thing as a bad or good ending anyways and each ending have it's pros and cons but tbh I was really curious about Freedom ending as well. Maybe I'll do it in NG+ actually (or perhaps in original PS2 version cause after playing remaster I'm really curious about original and what was changed and THANKFULLY this one is still available in PS3 store 🙏). The protag - Demi Fiend - really stole my heart (is that a P5 reference :o?) - as usual with me playing SMT games so far, as soon as I see the protag I immediately blorbo them (just look at my icon and header haha) - so I'll definitely be coming back to this game, cause it's amazing

So yeah idk if I have more thoughts haha :P If I'll have I'll definitely make some more posts but for now, yeah, that's my endgame thoughts :P Rn I have to think about the ending, maybe then I'll got some more thoughts :P

Now I'll be trying to finish P2:EP and then on a big screen I'll be playing DDS Duology and when I'll finish my "small screen game", I'll be playing P3P on my switch as for a small screen slot :P

#liveblogging smt nocturne #finished!#gosh i love this game so much #so proud of myself to finish it tbh #lilly's talking

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1d1195 · 9 months

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Hi! I have FINALLY found time to fully give my attention to Protection and read part 6! AND it was also a super nice surprise to see you posted another new piece today, which I most definitely read as well! So I’m going to talk about those two but if it’s too long you don’t have to read it, it’s okay!

Protection: Where do I even BEGIN!?!? Overall this chapter was perfection! I love how you give us glimpses of how domestic their dynamic has become and them getting to know normal little things about each other! The scene of them decorating a Christmas tree together was so adorable yet I felt so sad for her because of how much she was wishing her mother to be there so she could experience Harry :( But Harry comforting her and them having another vulnerable moment together warmed my heart! Now THEIR FIRST FUCKING KISS!?!? I GASPED!!! It was such a them moment, her being so cute and happy and rambling while Harry was just so in awe of her and proud, you painted the perfect scene!!!!(and it so so hot btw) He called her kitten while he was basically teasing her and making her talk… HES INANSE! especially when he was kissing her and telling her he wants her but it’s protocol yet he was all up on her!? He was so annoying, in a cute way obviously! Also him calling her out on faking it was so hot to me and it just something bodyguardrry would say lol I can only hope this man asks her out on his day off!

Right Here: OMG I LOVE THEM ANS I ABSOLUTELY WOULD LOVE TO READ MORE ABOUT THEM!!! You are absolutely a GOD meshing all of the favorite and classic tropes together and still making the flow of the story go so smoothly! The tropes fit SO well and they didn’t feel forced at all! Harry being “sunshine” and hopelessly in love with her from the start but with the “miscommunication” trope they were not able to express their feelings towards each other 😭 brilliant honestly! And I was so devastated that she experienced something so horrible due to the slide incident and honestly I can understand how much that affected her! And the fact that she was still made to feel like SHE was the problem and weird was just so sad :( But once they talked it out my heart leaped so much I was ROOTING FOR THEM! When Harry said “I had a feeling y’couldn’t keep it up forever. And I’d wait forever for you, beautiful”, I DIED! This is so simple yet I find it so meaningful because even after all this time he’s just being their for HER and just wanting to have her in her most raw and vulnerable self is just so wonderful too read about and it hit close to home! Also when he said “Your leggings?” He smiled mischievously. ‘M’almost jealous of ‘em touching all of your legs.’ I GIGGLED because it was good ngl! If any other man said this to me it would be gross but NOT WITH HARRY! I loved it so much and I hope if you ever feel inspired to give an extra please do!

Also I saw what that mean anon said, FUCK THEM! Yes constructive criticism is allowed and having their own opinion is valid but not when it’s laced with the intention to hurt the person, I genuinely believe that they didn’t even fully read it because it was no used too many times! I love love LOVE your nicknames in your stories! It has made me love nicknames more in general! Plus it’s unique to you and I come to your blog because of what YOU create and it’s just so beautiful-💜

Okay I've been anxiously awaiting to hear your thoughts 💕 There isn't an ask you can send that I wouldn't read, I don't care how long it is. You took the time to read almost ~10k of nonsense that I wrote, I'd read whatever you have to say 💕

I am SO glad you liked the next installment of protection! I really liked writing this part. I'm def a Christmas girl (and a momma's girl) so I gotta throw all that in at every chance I get. I couldn't make them wait any longer to kiss but I really, really truly believe Mr. Protocol wouldn't push too much further than they did (and I honestly had a nice long mental battle with myself that what he did was too much anyway!)

Of course I'm glad you liked Right Here too! I don't think there's anything Harry could say to me that I would find gross which is probably a problem but it makes for great writing. I think he could punch me in the face and I'd probably thank him. They were really fun to write about and I thought Harry was actually quite adorable if I'm allowed to say that about myself. I liked making her grumpy and nervous because I thought Harry would be a really nice balance--I thought of him jumping all around stage and it just made so much sense. I think I saw another request to hear more about them. I'll have to see what I can think of lol

Honestly, your other ask about me using kitten to signify they're soulmates (which I realize I didn't do in Right Here but we're going to pretend because obviously) was the first thing I thought of when I got that other message. But honestly I'm glad you didn't feel like it was used too many times. I went back and glanced it over and thought I actually might have but maybe it's because I was bummed about it.

Anyway. I adore you as always and I am SO glad you took the time to write this message <3

xoxo

#💜#protection #right here

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readatrix · 1 year

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(Scheduled to be released November 28, 2023)

I received an ARC of this title through Netgalley. The thoughts and opinions are my own. Godly Heathens is the first book in a series, possibly a duology, about gods cut off from their home world, and in a cycle of reincarnation that keeps drawing together -- largely to try to kill one another, using a magical knife. The main character is Gem, a nonbinary Seminole teen. (To give you an idea of the vibe, one of the chapters is There are no Cis Gods.) When we meet them, they're on the brink of discovery/remembering their divine identity. Those gory, but often erotic, dreams? Memories. They reunite with Willa Mae/Rory, with whom they've shared many lifetimes. We're told early on that the gods, even if they don't always consciously pursue one another, tend to end up in each other's lives, and so many of the people in Gem's life are, well, not people. Or not just people. Among the gods we meet is Poppy, who is a death job with a quirky fashion sense. Has that been done before? Yes. Do I still love it? Also, yes. Every lifetime she's a little more like an animated corpse, for reasons. Gem is a character dealing with a lot even without the whole god thing. They're battling mental illness, like their father, as well as a sex addiction. They were also preyed on by at least one adult. They want to be wanted/worshiped at all times. They're a teen, with all the hormonal stuff, and having a parent to appease. This is a YA title, and there's part of me that would have liked to see it as an adult title simply for the increased freedom and maturity. These characters are both formidable gods, and teens, which certainly can work but it makes them feel occasionally leashed. It reminds me of the scene in Buffy where Anya says, "For a thousand years I wielded the power of the wish. I brought ruin on the heads of unfaithful men. I offered destruction and chaos for the pleasure of lower beings. I was feared and worshiped across the mortal globe, and now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High! A mortal! A child! And I'm flunking math!" None of this is to say the book is tame. There's a lot of blood and gore. Murder and torture. Gem is promiscuous, and while not everything there is spelled out, we're talking at least PG 13. If it were an adult title, it might have been more explicit, but still these topics are mature and the author doesn't pull too many punches. TWs/CWs galore. These gods, even the ones we root for, have their villainous moments, and Gem in the events leading up to their arrival on earth was one of the most villainous of all. The gods connive, they plot, morality wars with expediency. I found myself initially less then thrilled at the (inevitable) revelation of a certain character, but Edgmon managed to win me over. All the gods have a point, even as they're trying to kill our main character. And Gem has a point in wanting to neutralize them. This is very compelling read, though. While I can nitpick some of the logic, or why characters didn't always due the logical thing, I was SO INVESTED! This book ends at a pivotal moment, and I need to find out how it shakes out. There's a god that allegedly is out of play, but are they really? I'm going to be recommending this title a lot!

See original review, and please follow me!

#godly heathens #h.e. edgmon #ARC #netgalley #readatrix review #lgbtqia #queer community #transgender #nonbinary #diverse books #diverse ya

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thenon-floweringfairies · 1 year

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How the Forest Finds the Island

Community Effort

Sen awoke in the morning quite unsure where he was. Someone's arm was on him and unfamiliar smells pervaded the warm space. His mind adjusted and started to make sense of the situation. He could make out little Belek nearby, while Aliwen had the whole Quacey clan wrapped in her wings. Reassured, he sat up and headed outside.

Si-woo waved to him. Jake and Askarya were breakfasting on the remaining rations, regarded by Sirichai. Sen sat alongside them.

"You're up early."

Si-woo shrugged. "Restless when I'm in a new place. Besides, Admiral's got a job for us."

"Request," corrected Sirichai. "I'm afraid I can't pay you, not in cash. But there'll be something in it for you all the same."

"Oh, don't worry about that, we're happy to- ei?" He was cut off by a determined nudge from Si-woo.

"Hey, if the Admiral wants to give us something for our troubles, who are we to say no?" He urged Sen in an undertone.

Sen laughed. "Very well, Admiral, I look forward to what you have in store for us."

Sen scratched one shoulder. With the fine spring weather, his wingbuds had been growing steadily since he emerged from hibernation. As Si-woo swivelled to say something to Askarya, Sen saw his wings had already unfurled.

Sirichai, clearly thinking along similar lines, commented, "your wings are looking fit to burst, Maidenhair. Think you'll be fit to fly to the boat with us?"

"Hmm, yes, I reckon. Let me warm myself up."

"Take your time, I'll go rouse those layabouts."

Sen hopped off his perch and back up the scree slope they'd descended yesterday. He had a good view of the whole gully. A bit away from the burned out campfire, Kai and Elei were sparring. He had no idea who was the better of the two, as both were ending up on the ground a lot.

As the sun climbed higher, his wingbuds began to itch, straining against the thin parenchyma containing them. He fell still, enduring the familiar sensation, until the pressure gave way and his wings opened up and out.

---

Once the others emerged, Sirichai made a quick circuit of the group to gage who else was willing to help. All of his crew put themselves forward, while Jake, Joe, Aliwen and Gawain also volunteered. With a rustling of leafy wings they rose, Askarya waving them off.

Sen found the process of flying on tender wings easier than last time, the relearning experience serving him well. As they progressed seaward, he investigated what Aliwen had been up to since he saw her last.

"Po, same old, same old." She managed to shrug mid-wingbeat.

"But you've got a boyfriend now and everything!" Argued Sen.

"Huh, has it really been that long since I've seen you? Well, Gawain is such a sweet boy, really makes me feel special, cachai?"

"Um, sure," Sen replied, watching Gawain soaring a few wingspans away. He was a rather unremarkable looking boy, but Sen supposed he should get to know him a little before judging if he was a good match for Aliwen.

"There she is!" Announced Sirichai, as his ship came into view, moored at the high tide line.

"Ohhh, crap," groaned Kai. "We've got company!"

Everyone swung their heads in different directions, trying to locate what he'd seen, but it quickly became clear that his attention wasn't on the air, but the ground.

"Well, it was always going to happen eventually," sighed Sirichai.

The source of their discontent quickly became clear. Crawling all over the hulls and mast of the ship were assorted herbivorous insects. Most appeared to be miomopterans and paleodictyopterans, with a few glosselytrodeans thrown in.

"Alright folks, battle stations," ordered the admiral.

"Sir, yes, sir!" Responded Elei, Kai, Belek, Ponnarasu, Aliwen and Gawain. Sen, Si-woo, Jake and Joe looked at each other.

Kai folded his wings and fell. Plunging feet-first into the black sand, he stood firm, coralloid roots sprouting from his legs and writhing down, down into the sediment. Elei was right behind, skimming just over him with pollen streaming from her crown. It drifted in a shimmering cloud down onto the bugs, though without immediate effect as far as Sen could see.

Aliwen crunched down beside Kai and started shaking spores from her own crown, creating an effervescent fog around them. Jake looked to Sirichai.

"What's the plan, Admiral?"

"I have three priorities," replied Sirichai. "Number one, preserve the wellbeing of my crew. For the time being, that includes all of you." Sen felt his heart dance a jig at those words, and he could tell Si-woo felt the same.

"Number two," listed the admiral. "Protect my ship and cargo. And three, drive off those damnable arthropods. If possible, get the bugs away from my ship before going on the offensive to avoid collateral damage, but above all, keep yourselves safe. You got that?"

"Aye aye, Admiral," saluted Jake. "Gee up!"

The four of them flew in close formation to the shore. Jake and Joe peeled off to land on the beach, Sen and Si-woo continued out over the waves. Sen hovered, looked to the sky and concentrated. Si-woo alighted on the sea's surface and raised his arms, trying to entrain the salt water to his beck and call.

"Si-woo!"

"Yeah?!"

"My magic's not working! There's no ginkgos anywhere near here!"

"I'm in the same boat! Uh, metaphorically."

Jake and Joe were getting on slightly better. Their fast-growing, wind dispersed ferns had spread unassisted as far as the nearby dunes, giving them a resource to draw on. Jake thrust an outstretched palm toward the waves, whipping up scouring sand grains. Joe heated the air around his body and combined it with the effects of his friend's magic to create a hot sandblast that tore into the swarm of bugs. In a sudden panic, the insects scattered from the vessel and flew in all directions. A few unfortunates swerved right into the stream of sand and dropped into the waves with tattered wings.

"Hey, watch my boat!" Called the admiral. "You'll strip the varnish off like that!"

"Begging your pardon, sir!" Jake shouted back, redirecting the miniature sandstorm further out to sea. Sen and Si-woo rose to avoid it, noticing that although scattered, the bugs hadn't fled far, and some were moving back in to grab another bite.

"Try and keep them from landing!" Sirichai commanded. He swooped into formation alongside both of them, and together they made a series of passes, using midair jabs and kicks to give the insects pause for thought. Sirichai directed them in tightening circles, corralling their foes into a clustered mass.

"Miss Anthos, you're up!" Ordered Sirichai.

"On it!" Responded Elei. Landing in front of Kai and Aliwen, she whipped her arms forward in circles, the tough lignin in her skin fracturing and beginning to protrude in shards. With a rippling crack, the elastic material snapped, catapulting itself forward with a final swing of her arms. A hail of jagged sclerenchyma tore through the swarm, ripping apart bodies, limbs and wings. Elei let her arms go limp.

Sirichai waved to Belek, Gawain and Ponnarasu, who were still airborne. Nodding, they saw off the survivors, pursuing them until they had fled an acceptable distance. The others regrouped on the beach.

“Okay! I’m ready!” Proclaimed Kai, causing the rest of them to jump. He heaved one leg out of the sand, festooned with spongy, coral-like roots. The other followed, and he took up a fighting stance, legs apart and arms outstretched. “Lemme at ‘em!”

A stray miomopteran flew their way. Kai spun into the air, plunging down again fist-first and pulverising the insect in one blow. “Yeah, that’s what you get!” He wiped haemolymph off his wing. “What’s next?”

“We… I think we’re finished,” shrugged Sirichai.

“What, seriously? Oh man, I was just getting started.” Kai rotated his neck with a loud crack.

Sen peered curiously between him, an exasperated-looking Elei, and Aliwen, who was sharing one of Si-woo’s spore cakes. Taking Sirichai aside, he inquired, “Admiral, how are your crew such effective magic users? Si-woo and I were having trouble mustering any strength out here, there are none of our plants nearby.”

“That’s always the problem when you’re out at sea. Probably one of the reasons not many fairies go there,” agreed Sirichai. “When you don’t have a mature forest to draw on, you’re forced to improvise. Kai and Elei have worked out a way to draw magic from their own bodies.”

“Their bodies?” Repeated Sen in a horrified whisper. “But that’s their life force! That could kill them!”

Sirichai looked down solemnly. “A risk they’re willing to take. I don’t ask any of my crew to put themselves in any more danger than I’d put myself. But being away from their forests really started to get to them, and they spent decades casting around for some way to still work magic while sailing. This is the solution they hit upon. And I assure you they’re careful with it, they spent a long time learning their limits, and they make sure to recuperate afterwards.”

Sen raised an eyebrow. “I mean no disrespect, but I really hope Belek hasn’t been doing that.”

The admiral smiled. “No worries there, Maidenhair, I believe they take after your cautious nature. The rest of the deckhands have found a slightly safer source of magic. Let me show you.”

Sirichai turned to his crew. “Ready to unload?”

“Aye aye!”

“Well hop to it then!”

Ponnarasu floated down on a sea breeze and landed aboard the boat. He undid a few creepers and let down the gangplank, the others scurrying up on deck. Sen and Si-woo trailed after them, marvelling at the craft’s construction. She was composed of many, hollow Gnetum seed cases, floating vertically and lashed together by supple, living vines. She had a decking of bark, varnish of waterproof resin, and a twig mast with huge, waxy leaves billowing out as sails. A simple craft, really just a raft with extra rigging, but still the most beautiful and seaworthy vessel either of the two friends had ever laid eyes on.

“Welcome,” announced Admiral Baegu, “to the good ship Emping!” The crew cheered, and after a moment, Sen and Si-woo joined in. “Now, to business,” commanded the admiral. “Aliwen, Elei, get those lids off.”

The women knelt and slid sections of the deck aside, hauling up the seed cases beneath. They were dark from long exposure to water, with handles clamped onto them for ease of access, and, as Sen watched in rapt fascination, he noticed the tops had been expertly sliced to form lids. It was these that Aliwen began prizing open, layers of caked, dried out sticky gum popping free with a dry gasp of air.

“Take a look,” she smiled, beckoning them closer. Curious, Sen and Si-woo stepped forth. When they saw what was inside, Sen couldn’t contain a gasp of delight.

“Ginkgos!” He squealed, hands flying to his cheeks. “Oh Aliwen, oh Sirichai, I don’t- how can I- how did you know?!”

Sirichai laughed. “You’re always one to take the initiative, Maidenhair. As soon as I heard about this place, I had a feeling you’d be the first one here. And establishing yourself on virgin ground is hard, I know, so I thought the little gesture might be appreciated.”

“This is much more than a gesture, there’s- how many are in here? Eight? Ten?”

“All from unrelated plants,” chuckled Sirichai.

“You really don’t know how much this means… how can I thank you enough? With this, I’ll have forested half the island in no time!” He embraced Sirichai warmly, who grinned and lifted him off the ground.

“And don’t you worry, Callixylon, I have a little something for you too!” The admiral continued.

Si-woo’s ears instantly perked up. “You don’t mean…?”

“Yep!”

Elei heaved open the next lid, and with a gentle rustling, somewhere between sand and leaf litter, the spores inside flowed over each other.

Si-woo whooped and lifted into the air. "Oh my gosh, you remembered me! Nice, this should save me a few return trips." Enthralled, he scooped a handful of spores, watching as they slipped through his fingers and back into the pile.

"My crew all brought some seeds for their own gardens, plus a few more gifts, should we run into old friends." Sirichai looked to Sen. "This is how your cousin can maintain their skills so far from land. Even an unsprouted seed contains the potential of a vigorous plant, the desire to grow. It’s not quite like drawing magic from a fully grown tree, but Belek has found a way to make it work."

---

Over the course of the day, the seed cases that formed the body of the admiral's ship were carefully loosened and extracted. As they came free, the vines, twigs and leaves of the ship folded in on themselves with a little guidance from Sirichai. Wrapping around the few empty cases left, they came to resemble a little shoot growing from a pile of fallen fruit. The admiral was happy to let each fairy fly off with their own crate of seeds or spores, so long as they return them once empty. That way, he explained, they could be stored in one place and lashed back together whenever the sea next called.

Sen's parcel was heavier than the two ginkgo fruits he'd brought from Epiphyllia, and more awkwardly shaped. This time, with the luxury of flying over land, he decided to transport it back to his garden in short hops, first from the beach to the fort, and from there, back home.

Si-woo accompanied him, and after landing, they popped in to the woven fortress to fill the others in on what had transpired. Jess and Glen listened excitedly to how they'd driven off the insectile menace, while Nathair seemed less impressed but hearkened politely all the same.

Some of Sirichai's crew and passengers, along with the pioneers, had already begun sowing seeds and spores around the structure. Once the bare ground was covered by a carpet of green, it would provide shelter from the elements as well as other potential threats.

The two friends spoke with some of the crew, finding out their long-term plans for the site. Afterwards, they hastened to show their surprise gifts to Askarya. They found the third member of their group sitting outside, stock-still, reasonable behaviour for a fairy. Seeing them approach, the lichen-encrusted figure roused theirself.

"Hi Sen. Si-woo. How was the boat?"

"Oh, fabulous!" Gushed Sen. "Look what we got!" He creaked open the lid of the cask, proudly displaying the seeds, while Si-woo did likewise.

"Oh, oh wow. Pretty cool," admitted Askarya. "That admiral must really like you."

"You think?" Claimed Si-woo, running a hand through his tresses.

"I was talking to Sen," they jibed back. Si-woo clutched his chest and mimed falling over.

They chatted for a bit longer, then Sen and Si-woo started the next leg of their journey. As they lifted on a thermal, Sen looked over his shoulder.

"It's nice that Askarya was happy for us. But…"

"But?" Prompted Si-woo.

"Well, now I feel bad we had nothing to give them. It's not Baegu's fault, they're not acquainted, but I feel we should have made an effort. I was so caught up in my excitement it didn't occur to me."

"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it," Si-woo advised. "You deserve to enjoy life's pleasant twists. And Askarya isn't one to take things the wrong way. Well, they kinda are, but next time you see them, just offer to help them with their lichen planting, yeah? No harm done."

"You're right. Maybe I'll fly them out to somewhere we haven't explored, and have it all to ourselves."

"That's the spirit."

---

Previous chapter

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cynettic · 3 years

Text

Kissing Genshin Characters before you Die

Summary - Kissing the Genshin Characters one last time before you enter the battlefield.

Pairings - Reader x Albedo / Barbara / Bennett / Beidou / Chongyun / Diluc / Eula / Kazuha / Kaeya / Ayaka / Ningguang / Childe / Venti / Xiao / Zhongli

Warnings - Angst, death mentions

Tips - I wrote this listening to ‘Lovely’ and ‘Listen before I go,’ so it might make it better if you listen to both those songs while reading this :’) Both are by Billie Eilish btw, both reverb and slowed down songs for the extra angst

A/N - Im so tired, so so tired of human interaction and having no motivation to talk to people. Its like my social battery simply does not recharge, and I'm stuck writing about interactions I wish I could have, even if it's angst. Burying myself in the delusion that being in a different reality would change everything, burying myself in little imaginations and dreams of a love that doesn't exist.

Also yes, if you did notice the song lyrics playing at first are from "If the World was Ending," used to listen to that song so much. Thought it would fit this :)

“If the world was ending you’d come over right?”

It was absolute chaos, flames crawling up the wooden buildings and spreading smoke through the nation of Teyvat. Everything burned with the scorching heat, children crying, men and woman trying to run from the unescapable flames. Terror etched into citizens faces when encountering the monsters who appeared unaffected by the destruction.

Hilichurls and ruin guards smashing past people, till there was nowhere to run. And it was the mere decision of whether being beaten to death or burnt crisp was a better way to leave this world.

“You’d come over and you’d stay the night.”

But there you were, weapon in hand as you stood up against the blaze. Strong against the unblinking inferno in front of you, unwavering as you stood in front of the monsters that eagerly rushed towards you. Cut and obliterated in seconds, your eyes held nothing but a sickening disgust.

You slowly turned back to your s/o, relief quenching your heart when they were safe in the little location you’d found for them. They were injured, they wouldn't be sitting on the sidelines otherwise. And holding your weapon up again, you claimed the role of protector against the hoard of monsters.

“Would you love me for the hell of it?”

Their voice broke past your focus, a ragged sound that was suffering. It only took you a few strides till you reached them, crouching down to face them fully. Your faces were mere inches away, and you could see the frustration on their face. A deeply rooted feeling that fueled the action as they curled their hand around your head. Pressing your lips against theirs, one last kiss before you assumed the role of predator against the monsters.

“All our fears would be irrelevant.”

Both hands coming to hold their face, you pressed forwards into their kiss. Grasp tight against them, clinging onto them as if they were your lifeline.

“If the world was ending you’d come over right?”

You kissed them as if the world wasn't a aflame, like it was just you both sitting there. Hands grasping for their skin, for their lips, for them. Because without them you couldn't live in this smoldering world, a bright light that cocooned you in its comforting warmth. Nothing like the blazing flames that surrounded the two of you.

You kissed them like they were the only thing that mattered.

“The sky’d be falling and I’d hold you tight.”

But you felt the shake in their hands as they pressed their hand against your back, scared to let you go, scared to lose you. Scared to let this kiss end and have to face the scorching reality.

“And there wouldn't be a reason why.”

You pressed one last kiss to their forehead, basking in their embrace once more between you broke away. The look on your face was confident as you faced them one last time, softened by their teary eyes. Whispering soft words to them, you could only watch as they broke down, a tight feeling in your chest urging you to do the same.

But no, you had to be strong. For them, for yourself, for all of Teyvat. You slowly turned to the flames and monsters, holding up your weapon, screaming one last battle cry as you let your weapon lead your actions. As you let death become your only objective in a flurry to protect your partner.

“We would even have to say goodbye.”

Sobs wretched out of their throat as they watched you crumble, watched you fall the ground and collapse. Till the movement of your chest came to an abrupt stop, and monsters pooled at your sides.

They were forced to watch, unable to move.

“If the world was ending you’d come over right?”

Their cries turned to whimpers, until they couldn't hear the noises that spilled form their lips. Until they didn't care. What they cared about was thrown on their battlefield, beaten and ragged, torn and broken.

Dead.

“You’d come over… right?”

_-_-_-_-_

Albedo

He takes his time, hand on the back of your neck pushing you so hard against him till he’s woozy. Memorizing the feel of your plush lips against his, molding them into memory with every kiss. He’ll break away from your lips, pressing soft pecks up your face, along your nose, to your forehead. Infatuated with the way your hands gently hold his face, careful, delicate. He doesnt want to let you go, and with one final peck right between your eyes, he’ll close his eyes, whispering a goodbye as you leave. He doesnt open them when you die, he doesnt open them when the monsters reach him. No, he dies in your embrace, even if its not real.

Barbara

Desperate, oh so desperate. She doesnt know what to do with you when you press your hands to her face, tearful. You’ll have to be the one to initiate the kiss, muffling her cries with a short lived sweetness between the two of you. She’ll have her hands all over you, unsure of how to hold you, how to press you against her. She wants to stay like this forever, and even if her kisses are sloppy and messy, she’s crying too much to notice. She won’t break away, you’ll have to tug your way out of her grip and press one last kiss to her forehead. Her voice is angelic, even when she cries. You remind yourself that this is what you’re protecting as you enter the battlefield, giving it your all.

Beidou

Oh she knows, knows how this will play out. The kisses shared between the two of you are strong and compassionate, its more intense than any other kiss you’ve both shared before. Because she knows. She knows what’ll become of you and her, that this is the last kiss she’ll share with you, that there's nothing she can do about it. She lets herself indulge in you, her strong hold on you never letting go until you vocally ask her to let you go. You make her promises she knows you can't keep, but simply smiles, telling you to come back to her.

Bennett

Awkward, his hands will grab your shoulders when you approach him, pressing for a kiss immediately. He misses his mark, accidentally pressing his lips to the edge of your lips, noses bumping against each other as he tries to shift his face. You chuckle, holding his face as you adjust the angle, till you can fully reach his lips and press him against you. Like Barbara, he’ll cry, letting himself melt into you. He doesnt resist when you back away, whispering to him. Just sitting there he’ll cry, sob through it all, vision blurry with tears. But its better that way, he can picture you better when everything is fuzzy.

Chongyun

Everything was smoldering hot, too much for Chongyun who has so much yang energy trapped in him. He’s going through one of his rushes when you get to him, eager to tuck you into his arms. His kisses are sporadic, like he’s trying to kiss you but he cant. Like no matter how much his lips meet yours, it isnt enough. He wants more, he wants the promise of your forever embrace ingrained in his head. And when you break away, he’s left empty, the kisses he’d given you the only warmth on his lips. Suddenly everything was cold, so cold, and he only wished for you.

Diluc

Too rough, mashing your lips against his until you couldn't breath. Dizzy with the lack of oxygen, he didn't stop. You were ‘his,' right here right now, no one could take you away from him. You belonged alongside him, crouched in front of him, pressed into his arms where he could keep you safe. He wouldn't let you go, strong arms pulling you to his chest so firmly that you couldn't escape. He wanted to be selfish, he let himself indulge in the promise to himself that you weren't going anywhere. You’ll have to physically break out yourself, pressing back his hands as he tries to make a grab for you, tears brimming.

Eula

You were her everything, and she’ll tell you it through her kisses. She’ll run her hands along the curve of your back, holding you tenderly against her. She doesn't wish for vengeance for all the soft kisses you’ve stolen from her good days long ago, no, she’s willing to forgive you for everything as long as you’ll ‘stay.’ She promises that in all honesty, she loves everything about you, even if she denies it sometimes. And when you leave, she tells you to come back. That its the one and only thing she’ll hold against you if you don't.

Kazuha

Soft, so incredibly sensual with every touch. Kazuha was always filled with words, filled with lovely compositions made for you and only you. But now, he couldn't think of anything, no haiku he’d written in the past that compared to what he felt right now. Metaphors and hidden meanings couldn't compare to the raw pulsing throb he felt in his chest. “I love you,” he whispered, plain and simple. It held so much affection, he was afraid even those words weren't enough to express what he felt, but he settled with it either way. “I love you,” he repeated, brushing your lips against his before he said it again. “I love you.” He said it again, even as you left, entering the battlefield. He didn't stop saying it, not when he saw the monsters take you, not when they approached him with the promise of death. “I love you.”

Kaeya

He doesnt kiss you, because kisses to Kaeya are a sort of affection that brings the sense of normalcy. He likes the way your lips feel against his, but holding you against him is more special. He doesnt depend on kisses to express what he feels, instead pushing your head to his chest, sighing when your own arms come to wrap around him. No kisses, no touches, just you and him. Offering each other your last shreds of hope, because in the end, you only need each other.

Ayaka

“Look at me.” Her hand cups your cheeks just as you do to her. Now you both simply stare into each others eyes, love and adoration filling hers. She loves you, oh she loves you so much. But she understands duty better than anyone, the urge to protect you almost consuming her. When she kisses you, its soft, butterfly kisses. She doesn't rely on the contact to keep her grounded, no holding your face is a gift enough for her. To stare at you, even for one last time, is all she needs. You’ve given her so much, she would follow you to the ends of the world if you asked her to, and that's why it hurts her so much to watch you fall. She closes her eyes, noticing that she’d follow soon after and perhaps see you in the afterlife. No, she would, that's a promise she makes to herself.

Ningguang

Ningguang has delt with loss before, the concept isnt foreign to her. But you… you’re more than the jade chamber, more than any possession she has. You’re precious, like she sold a piece of her heart to you that she could never gain back. You took it from her, and you plan to take it with you to the battlefield. All she can do is press her lips against yours. Kiss you and the world beside you both becomes meaningless, until air becomes a chore instead of a necessity. Because without air she'd kiss you forever.

Childe

Details, in the case that Childe himself cant fight alongside you, he’ll hold you and repeat the details in his head. The way his hand feels on your hair, how soft or rough your lips are against his. How you fit against him, how badass you look out in the battlefield. He won’t stop you from leaving him, because he knows that if this case was reversed, he’d want you to let him go too. So he presses intimate kisses, slow ones that dont consist of a fight for dominance like they usually do. No, he wants to tell you how much he loves you, one last time.

Venti

He doesnt know what to do, pressed against you firmly. He presses soft kisses, but theres no emotion, he doesn't know how to express himself here. He’s lost a lot, lost so much in his existence, but nothing prepared him for this. Only after a kisses will he ask to cry, and when you tell him yes he’ll press his head against your shoulder. He’ll sob, hands gripping the fabric of your shirt as he does so. And then he kisses you while tears stream down his face, mashes your lips against his until his face grows numb. And he’ll continue to feel numb when you leave, when you die, when he dies.

Xiao

He doesn't know what to do, Xiao has never felt so utterly useless when you crouch to him. Form battered and bruised, when you embrace him he feels whole again. You’re his world, he doesn't care about the blazing inferno just beside you, the monsters that threaten all of Teyvat. You are his everything, what he strives to protect and keep safe. Kisses with him are breathless, both of you passionately pulling each other closer. He cant get enough of you, he wants all of you, every single piece. Molded into his embrace until you cant get out. When you break away, he tries to pull you to him, but he finds himself only able to move in the slightest. But Xiao is a protector, he is ‘your’ protector. He follows you as you head to the battlefield, dragging his limp body in a crawl to get closer. He doesn't stop when he sees the monsters overtake you, no, he continues. Just until he reaches your body, grabbing you and holding your corpse into his chest. He numbs out the monsters that attack him, knowing sullenly that he's going to die. But death doesn't seem so bad, not beside you.

Zhongli

As someone who always has control over the situation, Zhongli will be able to adapt quickly. But he doesnt want you to suffer, admiring you for being so strong when everything presses against you. He wishes to relieve the weight if only a little bit with a few kisses. Sensual and intimate, he wants to support you, and if he cant do it on the battlefield he’ll do it right here. Hold you close and promise you that he’ll always be there for you. Only after you die does he allow himself to cry, not wanting to have burdened you with his tears.

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cjsinkythoughts · 3 years

Text

In Need of a Breath

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 4007

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Zemo, Feelings, Another PTSD Flashback

A/N: So…Part 4 is going to have a couple parts to it. Maybe even three. I didn’t even make it half way through the episode on this one, mainly because I really wanted to fit in the Reader’s backstory and I wanted her and Sam to have a heart-to-heart again. I’m suuuuper tired, so I probably won’t be posting the next part for another few hours (it’s 5 am right now and I haven’t slept), BUT it’s my day off work and I won’t be doing anything I planned because my grandmother had a stroke a couple days ago so plans have changed and I’m staying in to help her, meaning I’ll mostly be writing all day.

This Part is kind of a mix between off-screen and shot-by-shots, but it’s mostly off screen/what’s going on inside Reader’s head.

I’m really excited about future parts and the characters that are being introduced! I will say that after these parts, I will be doing one shots of previous MCU movies with the Reader, due to the information that is being given about the Reader now. You kind of see more of how she was affected/how she affected the previous MCU movies and what she was doing during that time.

Like always, this hasn’t been beta’d, again it’s SUPER early in the morning, and I’m really tired, so please excuse any mistakes! I hope you guys enjoy this part! Stay tuned for more to come later today!

FATWS MASTERLIST

cjsinkythoughts MASTERLIST

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

“You know…I’m really starting to regret saying yes to this.” You huffed out, craning your neck and squinting your eyes against the sun as you stare at the facility in front of you, hating the skin-crawling feeling of being back.

“Would you relax? Whenever you’re nervous, I get nervous, and I don’t wanna be nervous about this.” Sam shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“Do either of you have a better plan?” Bucky grumbled, crossing his arms.

Gnawing on your lips, you finally take the lead and breathe out, “alright. Let’s go then.” You could feel the hesitance from your - what were they? Partners? Coworkers? Teammates? - the fellas before they started after you.

There was a sick twist in your gut as you entered the building, going through the lobby and security.

You had been there.

You had been there when Zemo impersonated Bucky. You had been there when Zemo unleashed the Winter Soldier at the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre Building in Berlin. You had been there during the battle at the airport. You had been there when Zemo turned Tony and Steve against each other in Siberia. You had been there when Zemo tore the Avengers from the inside out. Your family. The only family you’d ever known.

But you’d always been good about pushing your personal feelings aside for the sake of the mission. It’s what you’d been born to do. All you ever knew.

“Hey. Doll. You hear me?”

“Hmm. What?” You looked up from the ground to look into those enchanting blue oceans Bucky had for eyes, staring worriedly down at you, eyebrows pinched and forehead creased.

“I’m going in alone.” You frowned, opening your mouth to argue, but he shook his head. “Sam already agreed-”

“I didn’t necessarily agree-”

“You’re an Avenger, sweetheart.” Bucky tilted his head, speaking softly, those eyes of his worried. Worried for you. It made your stomach flip. “And you were there in Siberia, and that almost makes it worse. Especially considering you went after him. Just…just let me do this, okay?”

You cracked your knuckles nervously as you thought. It was a terrible idea. But it was an idea. And it was all they had. “Okay.” You finally relented, shrugging as your hands hit your thighs and slid up to your hips. “But don’t do anything stupid.”

“Steve took all that with him.”

Knowing about their little inside joke, you scoffed. “Sure he did. Go before I change my mind.”

You watched him walk down the hallway, hands fidgeting with excess nerves. “I think you’re the only one he actually seeks approval from.”

“Good thing I’m so lenient then, huh?” You joked, turning to Sam with a strained smile. Your smile slipped at the curious expression on Sam’s face, his eyes darting to each of your features. “What?”

“Are you doing okay?”

You groaned, throwing your head back. You thought you got out of talking about your feelings back in Baltimore. “Oh my God, Sam-”

“I’m serious. You…you just don’t seem like yourself.”

You shook your head, looking down the hall to where Bucky disappeared before turning back to him. It was weird to have a self that people recognized. Your whole life you’d been searching for it and when you finally found it…everything went to shit. “Honestly, Sammy, the only time I’ve ever felt like myself was with the team. Zemo took that away from me and now we’re here, practically begging him for help.”

Sam hummed, leaning against the wall. “Have you thought of taking a break?”

“What?”

“A break.” At your bewildered look, he rolled his eyes. “Cher, this time last year most of us were dead. This time a few months ago you found out about Wanda. This time last week you were out looking for her. Maybe you should just stop and take a breather.”

Shoving your hands in your pocket and looking at the floor, you couldn’t help but snort at his advice. “I haven’t taken a breather since I was eighteen.”

He clicked his tongue. “That’s my point. FBI academy as soon as you graduated. SHIELD recruit by 21, undercover operations leader by 24? Slow down. You’re in your thirties. Next thing you know, you’re gonna be ninety something, lying on your deathbed, wishing you had stopped to smell the roses.”

“If I live to be ninety, shoot me.” He chuckled in amusement. “I’m so fucking serious, Sam. I will not be put in an old folks home to play Bingo and be pushed around in a wheelchair. It ain’t happening.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” There was that infectious smile, which you unconsciously grinned back at. “Y/N…I’m serious. You’ve been in and out of missions since you were a teenager. What’s the shortest undercover operation you’ve done?”

“I dunno.”

He gave you an unimpressed look. “Yeah you do.”

Licking your lips, you turned away and shrugged. “A couple months. Seven weeks and three days, to be precise. September to October in 2012.”

“And the longest?”

“August 2007 to May 2009. Twenty one months.”

Letting out a puff of air through his nose, Sam pushed himself off the wall and caught your chin between his fingers to make you look at him. “That’s nearly two years under cover. And I’m sure you went right back under after-”

“I was sitting at a desk for four months doing paperwork on it.” You defended yourself.

He shook his head, brows knitting together, lips drawn down. “You say that as if four months is enough time.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Sammy. I’m out. I’ve been out since Ultron and Sokovia. I haven’t been under in almost a decade-”

“A decade half the world was dead for half of-”

“I wasn’t!”

“I never said you were.” Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. You were always amazed at his ability to keep his emotions in check. To stay cool under pressure. Sometimes you forgot how experienced he was with dealing with other people’s trauma. It was no wonder why Steve thought he’d be good for Bucky. “Listen. All I’m saying is once this is done…don’t go diving back into searching for Wanda. Don’t go running to the kid every time he calls - and I know you’ve been doing that-”

“It’s just been homework and stuff-”

“Y/N.” You stopped, biting your lip at the stern look he gave you. “Go home. Order take out. Binge watch TV. Go for a jog through the park. Actually meet your neighbors. Go grocery shopping. Just…live. If only for a couple weeks. Don’t worry about anyone else. Don’t pick up the phone, don’t drop everything because someone needs you. You need you.”

“I-I…” You shook your head, looking at him, sincerely apologetic. “I can’t. I wish I could. But I can’t. I’ve never had one normal day in my life. I’ve never had someone to care for, never had someone to care for me. I can’t let people I’ve come to…I can’t let them think I don’t care. I don’t even know where I’d go.”

“Whaddya mean?”

You winced, not thrilled for his reaction to your next statement. “I, uh, I sold my apartment in D.C.”

He gaped at you in complete disbelief. “You got it in December!”

“I know, I know. I liked it. I really did, but…I dunno. Nomadic life has always suited me better. It’s what I grew up with.”

He took a breath, making you cringe again. You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately gotten on his nerves like this before. “Have you ever thought that, instead of going with the flow and jumping place to place, putting down roots might actually help?” He cut you off before you could say anything, holding up a finger to stop you from talking. “I can’t imagine going from foster home to foster home like you did. I can’t imagine not having a home for as long as you can remember. Louisiana’s my home. Always has, always will be. But I understand your life has been anything but stable. And maybe, just maybe, that’s why you need some stability.”

You clenched your jaw, crossing your arms. “The Avengers were my stability. Steve was my stability.”

“Because you loved him.”

“I’m not doing this with you again.” You turned to walk down to the lobby to wait for Bucky there, but Sam caught your arm.

“You were in love with him! It’s okay! You two were super close! No one would blame you! Why won’t you just admit it? I’m trying to understand! Why won’t you-”

You tugged your arm away, finally snapping at him. “Because he could never be mine, Wilson! Is that what you wanna hear?!” Sam took a step back at your exclamation. You closed your eyes, swallowing the lump in your throat and pushing down the tears. “He could preach all he wanted about moving forwards, Sammy, but we all knew he was stuck in the past. He visited the museum every Thursday because her interview showed in his exhibit on Thursdays. He carried around that broken compass because her picture was in it.” You looked back up at him sadly, shrugging. “And I get it; it’s hard to move past your first love. I get it because…that’s what he was to me.”

There was a silence that blanketed the hallway, before he spoke up hesitantly. “What about Bucky?”

“I thought - I thought I was projecting my feelings for Steve onto him because I knew Steve couldn’t ever…”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “You thought? What do you think now?”

You cleared your throat. “I’m still figuring that one out.”

“If you ever need to talk, I’ll be here.”

You chuckled, nodding slightly towards him. “Back atcha. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you not being yourself lately, either.”

“It’s…a tough topic.”

You nodded in understanding. “Just know that I’ll support every decision you make as long as you think it’s the right one. Because I trust you. Steve trusted you. It’s all we can do to try to do what’s right. That’s what makes you a good man, Sammy. He gave you that shield for a reason, and if you think what you did was right…I’ll stand by it.”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment, calming down in each other’s presences and taking comfort knowing you’d be there for each other through thick and thin. “Thank you, cher.”

“Of course, Sammy. Now let’s go see what’s taking the old grump so long.”

He laughed at that, nodding in agreement, taking your offered hand and squeezing it as you made your way down the hall.

****************

“What?”

Bucky eyed you as you spluttered, coughing on the water you were drinking. “Please don’t choke, doll.”

“Break him out of jail?!” You repeated his words and blinked at him, absolutely baffled by his plan. “Oh my God.” You groaned as Bucky and Sam started arguing, moving your flashlight around the room. “Where the hell are we?” There was no response as they kept going back and forth.

“Zemo’s gonna mess with our minds! Especially yours! No offense.”

“Heelllloooo!” You tried again. “Where the hell are we?!”

Bucky turned on the lights, giving Sam a look. “Offense.” Glancing at you he quirked an eyebrow. “Stop worrying your pretty lil’ head, sweetheart. You trust me, dontcha?” Your breath hitched at his words. You quickly recovered, huffing and pouting - although you’d deny ever pouting - and crossing your arms. You stood between the guys like that, eyes darting to whoever was speaking, waiting for them to stop so you could actually think.

“Look. Let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?”

You and Sam exchanged glances. “What did you do?”

“I…didn’t do…anything.” Bucky shrugged.

“How is it that you, one of the most deadliest assassins basically ever, are one of the worst liars I know.” You tilted your head at him, an eyebrow quirking up in confusion.

“Shush it you. Just, okay. The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element.”

The more you listened to Bucky’s “hypothetical”, the stronger the gut feeling telling you this was a terrible terrible idea got. You brought your hands up to your head, eyes wide as he spoke.

“I don’t like how casual you’re bein’ about this. This is unnatural.”

You couldn’t help but agree with Sam’s words, your head falling back and your eyes closing. “Sweet Jesus. Listen, God, I know we don’t talk much these days, but please, please don’t let this not be a hypothetical. I’m fucking begging you.”

A noise to your right made your head snap over. “Oh hell to the fucking no!” You shook your head as Zemo himself walked in, wearing a prison guards uniform. “Uh-uh! No way! Bucky, this was not part of the plan!”

“What did you do?!”

“We need him!”

“You’re going back to prison.”

“If I may-”

All three of you faced him, simultaneously shouting, “no!”

You held your face in your hands as your head dropped, shaking back and forth, your eyes squeezing shut, tuning them out for just a minute to think. Bucky had a point. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that, and the Avengers were technically disbanded, which was Zemo’s whole objective in the first place, but…God. You were good at compartmentalizing, but not that much. You were willing to put your feelings aside for the mission so Bucky could talk to him. Not for you to work with him. But he had connections, you knew he did, and he had information…

“Doll?” You looked up, Bucky anxiously licking his lips as he met your gaze. “I need you to say something.”

You looked to Sam, who shrugged, gesturing to Zemo. “What do you think?”

What did you think? What did you think?! You thought that it was the worst idea in the history of ideas and you should turn back and find another way! But…you knew this was the fastest, probably most reliable way to get information that you needed.

Dammit, since when were you the deciding factor?

You sucked in a breath, looking over Sam’s shoulder at Zemo, who lifted his hand in greeting. You raised your eyes to the ceiling, pointing your finger accusingly. “This is why we stopped talking.” Gaze dropping to the still waiting fellas, you gnawed on your lip, before hissing out, “ffffine…” Running a hand through your hair, you threw your hands up as you shrugged. “Fine. Okay. Fine.”

“Okay.” Sam nodded, taking charge again.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. Except, that was a lie. You could. You’d seen weirder. You’d experienced the impossible. Lived through the unbelievable. This…this was completely imaginable.

Which is why, with a lot of hesitation and very little confidence in this plan, you followed Zemo through the auto shop you were in until you reached a large room with a ton of different old cars.

Bucky’s hand found yours as Zemo explained what the plan was, rather vaguely, in your opinion, but at least he was explaining. Point for him. Not that it would make up for the level of distrust you held for him, but it was something.

You looked up at him, giving him a puzzling frown. He usually only grabbed your hand in front of other people when he was feeling anxious. Which, yeah, he had a right to be anxious right now, but it wasn’t the right kind. The type of anxiety caused by large crowds and loud noises, ones that startled him and threw him into a defensive mode.

But the look on his face made you squeeze his hand in reassurance. He was pouting, staring at you although he did something wrong - a puppy that tore up a pillow - and all you wanted to do was give him a hug.

“You’re mad at me.” He mumbled as the four of you headed out with Zemo in the lead.

“No I’m not.”

“Yeah you are.

“Bucky, I’m not mad.”

“Listen, if I had a better idea I wouldn’t-”

You brought your linked hands up to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his gloved knuckles. “I’m not mad.” You repeated more firmly. “It’s just…a lot for me, right now.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on, Buck, I-I just…” You thought about your and Sam’s earlier conversation and suddenly understood what he meant. “I need to breathe for a second.”

His features twisted into ones of uncertainty, eyes squinting as you stepped outside. “Do you…do you wanna leave?”

You shook your head, tugging his arm to stop him and grabbing the sunglasses on his collar, slipping them over his eyes. “No. I just need some time to think. Hopefully the plane ride to wherever the hell we’re going will give me that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, James. I’m sure.”

He lowered the glasses on his nose to scan you over the frames, before nodding and sliding them back up. “Okay. You ready for this, then?”

“No.” You breathed, turning back to where Zemo and Sam were still walking. “Let’s do this.”

*****************

Climbing onto the private jet, you raised an eyebrow at Sam, who shrugged, giving you a bemused expression. A Baron…huh…who knew? You feel like you should’ve, yet there you were.

You sat besides Bucky, across from Zemo, crossing your legs and leaning back while staring at him through narrowed eyes.

His butler seemed nice, which made you even more suspicious. You obviously didn’t know as much about Zemo as you wanted to. It was a habit you picked up after years of undercover work; once the mission was complete, that was that. There was no looking back on it. No sitting on it. It was over and you moved onto the next one. It was a bad habit in cases like this.

The moment you spotted the notebook over Zemo’s book you knew something was going to happen, yet you still flinched when Bucky lunged at him, grabbing his throat. You leaned back in your seat again, steadying your now racing heartbeat. You decided you were too tense, trying to relax your muscles as Bucky sat back down in his seat.

“I’ve seen that book. It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book.” Sam seemed so proud of himself that something he recommended was written in Steve’s little book and it made you smile.

You remembered that; Steve and you were supposed to meet up for coffee after his run, but Fury called him in so you rescheduled it for when he got back. He asked you about Marvin Gaye. For your opinion. You told him to check it out and make his own.

You remembered asking him about that little notebook of his, and he just shrugged you off telling you about his list. He would read items off to you, but he never let you read the book yourself. You never found out why, and you supposed you never would now. The thought made an ache behind your ribs that you’d come to familiarize yourself with appear.

You smiled a little more as Zemo and Sam told Bucky how awesome Marvin Gaye was. “C’mon, baby. Back me up.”

Chuckling, you looked at Bucky. “They’re not wrong. But,” you quickly added before Bucky could whine at you, facing Sam again. “Neither is Buck. I mean, c’mon. You can’t find music like the 40’s anymore. Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Benny Goodman, Fred Astaire. Ol’ Blue Eyes himself.”

“Thank you.” Bucky grinned at Sam, who rolled his eyes.

“Okay, okay. But, I mean, c’mon! Everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”

“I like Marvin Gaye.”

“Steve adored Marvin Gaye.”

Your face fell as Zemo started talking about Steve and icons and Red Skull, your mind once again slipping away from reality.

“Kids love you.” You giggled as you finally made it out of his exhibit. You’d wanted to show it to him since he moved to D.C., and you’d finally got an opportunity after coming back from being undercover for ten weeks. “You’re their hero, you know.”

“Yeah, well, I’m just trying to do what’s right.”

You nudged him, scoffing at his answer. “You’re too humble. You’re a national icon, you know.”

Steve shrugged, looking around the museum at the planes surrounding them. “I never wanted to be.”

“Why not? Everyone loves you.”

“I’m sure not everyone loves me.” He rolled his eyes. “And…I just wanted to help. To fight. Protect my country and the people I cared about. I-I didn’t ask for…all that.” He waved behind his shoulder where his exhibit was getting smaller with each step they took away. “People were dying. Bullies were winning.”

You shook your head, spinning and walking backwards besides him to face him. “Sure, but you did that. And you became someone people could look up to in the process.”

He narrowed his eyes at you before asking, “why do you do what you do?”

“...because I’m good at it?”

“Honey.” He gave you a look. “Answer the question.”

You hummed in thought. “Because I couldn’t stand by, knowing there would be orphaned kids if I didn’t help any way I could.”

“Alright. Why do you do it in the dark?”

“Whaddya mean?”

He shrugged. “Why don’t you come out and take credit for all the lives you’ve saved?”

“Because that’s not why I do it. I don’t want that attention. I just want to know I’ve helped people. I’ve kept them safe.”

He gave you a soft smile. “I just wanted to beat the bully. I never wanted to be a dancing monkey, too.” You looked at him in a new light then, understanding where he was coming from. “Watch out, honey!” He grabbed you and pulled you aside before you could crash into a wall, arms wrapped firmly around your waist. He gave you that charming smile of his. “Wouldn’t want you hurting that pretty lil’ head of yours, now would we?”

“Y/N!”

You snapped back into the conversation, moving your eyes from the window to Bucky, who tilted his head, eyebrows pinched and eyes narrowed. “Sorry. So, Madripoor. That’s a fun place.”

You ignored the side eyed glances Bucky and Sam exchanged, Sam turning to you curiously. “You’ve been?”

“Once. Back in 2010 for a few months”

Zemo raised his eyebrows. “You’re lucky to have gotten out.”

You shrugged nonchalantly. “Lucky, maybe. Skills were a part of it, too, though.”

“Good.” Zemo nodded. “Because we’re going undercover…and if we blow it. We’re dead.”

You breathed out, shaking your memory away and getting your head back into the game. Because like the man you were severely wary of in front of you said, if you blew this, you were dead. And, sure, you didn’t want to live until ninety, but you weren’t even half way there yet. So dammit if you were going to die soon.

“Hey.” You looked over at Bucky’s murmur, his head tilting as he grabbed your hand and pulled you from your seat closer to him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Are you okay? You know you’re going to have to be-”

“I know.” He nodded. You watched his Adam’s Apple bob as he swallowed thickly. “I’ll be fine. Just…tell me right now if you need to step out for this one.”

You gave him a smile that you knew he didn’t buy, just by the slight narrowing of his eye, his lips pressing together. “No. No, I’m good for this. If you think I’m gonna let you two idiots go into Madripoor with him - alone - oil that cyborg brain of yours, because there’s no way.”

He squeezed your hand, eyes still filled with uncertainty. “Are you sure?”

“If there’s even a slight possibility that I can protect you, then yeah. I’m sure, Buckaroo.”

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somerabbitholes · 4 years

Text

Indian Non-Fiction

A list of books on India, almost all of which are by Indian writers; most of them are about history in one way or other but they also involve politics, culture, and religion. (Doesn’t include writing in Indian languages because most of my non-English reading has been limited to fiction). I’ve also added links to online editions for ones I found.

History

Pre-, Postcolonial India (+ other assorted history)

Land of Seven Rivers by Sanjeev Sanyal - looks at Indian history through its geography; great if you want an introduction. it’s a small book but has very interesting insights; definitely would recommend. Also check his Ocean of Churn, which looks at Indian history in terms of the Indian Ocean

The Lost River: On the Trail of the Sarasvati by Michel Danino - looks into the research and evidence on the existence of the Sarasvati river and makes a case for its existence

Hooghly: The Global History of a River by Robert Ivermee - about Hooghly as a centre of a trans-Asiatic and trans-oceanic commercial network

Indians: A Brief History of a Civilization by Namit Arora - what it says, it’s new and was well-received; it paints a holistic picture to start you off

Modern South India by Rajmohan Gandhi - this one’s new, and I’ve only barely read it. It’s the history of south India from the coming of the Portuguese to modern times and it’s really important because we don’t study about this or even talk about this in mainstream conversations

India Moving by Chinmay Tumbe - on migration within India and how migrants and migrations has shaped history, politics, and policy

The Courtesan, the Mahatma, and the Italian Brahmin by Manu Pillai - a selection of stories (real ones) from Indian history; very engagingly written and very, very interesting stories. Also check other works by Pillai - The Ivory Throne and Rebel Sultans. He also writes a regular column for the Mint

Panipat by Vishwas Patil - (a translation from Marathi) a history of the Battle at Panipat in 1761, which basically created a vacuum for the East India Company to step in and grab power; really expansive and highly detailed

Rama and Ayodhya by Meenakshi Jain - on the Ramayana and its cultural spread across Indian since the ancient times; also about the Ayodhya movement

Decolonizing the Hindu Mind by Koenraad Elst - lays down the ideological and intellectual development of the broad umbrella Hindu revivalist movement; really good starting point to understand the rise and development of a significant chunk of Indian politics in post-independence years; really straightforward work, very clear in its objectives

1962: the War that Wasn’t by Shiv Kunal Verma - on the Sino-Indian conflict in 1962; haven’t read it yet, but it’s supposed to be one of the best ones on the conflict

1971: A Global History of the Creation of Bangladesh by Srinath Raghavan - on the creation of Bangladesh; places the history in a Cold War context and includes all stakeholders like the US, China and Russia; has multiple layers to its narrative.The Most Dangerous Place by Srinath Raghavan - on American foreign policy in South Asia right from the earliest times.

Cricket Country by Prashant Kidambi - about how cricket took hold in colonial India and the making of the first all-India cricket team; super excited about this book, I added it to my list too

A Corner of a Foreign Field by Ramchandra Guha - on the growth of cricket in India; takes into account race, caste, and religion in pre- and postcolonial times; looks at how the sport was adapted in local cultures and how it became an expression of resistance

Himalaya: A Human History by Ed Douglas - basically what it says; very thorough and very fresh; about more than India because it takes Himalaya as a unit and so it’s really transnational in its approach

Colonial India

Plassey by Sudeep Chakravarti - a very detailed study of the Battle of Plassey which kicked off the colonial project in India

India’s War: World War II and the Making of Modern South Asia by Srinath Raghavan - on India’s involvement and contribution in World War II

An Era of Darkness by Shashi Tharoor - about the economic impact of the British Empire in India; highly elaborate and detailed work on the economic drain in India during colonisation

Goa Inquisition by A. K. Priolkar - about the Portuguese colonisation of Goa and the subsequent evangelical campaign by the Portuguese crown and the Roman church; very, very, thorough and great if you (like me) know nothing about the whole thing

Hicky’s Bengal Gazette by James Otis - on the development and running of India’s first English newspaper; a fun read because honestly the story of the paper is very dramatic and full of political/colonial gossip; also tells you a lot about the early ideas of free press in colonial India

Sati: Evangelicals, Baptist Missionaries, and the Changing Colonial Discourse by Meenakshi Jain - about the discourse on sati and the need for reform; reviews the idea of the abolition of sati being a progressive act

Castes of Mind by Nicholas Dirks - about the intersection of caste, race, and colonial knowledge and policy

Politics, Sociology, Commentaries

The Indian Trilogy by V. S. Naipaul - a semi-autobiographical work on the kind of civilisation Naipaul sees India to be; very, very honest; paints a picture of postcolonial India over the years. the trilogy includes An Area of Darkness, India: A Wounded Civilization, and India: A Million Mutinies Now. I’ve only read the first one; but I’ve heard and read great things about them all

Republic of Caste by Anand Teltumbde - about caste in post-Independence India; looks at political and policy-related developments and their impact on caste dynamics; sort of subaltern history; it is a little difficult to understand if you don’t already have some amount of knowledge on Indian politics; also a very academic work so not exactly easy to read - I’ve only read parts of it myself

Annihilation of Caste by Dr. B. R. Ambedkar - technically a speech that was never delivered because it was thought to be too explosive; argues that caste is rooted in oppression and for the complete destruction of the caste system; an excellent work, although you do need to know about caste in its religious and political terms. Really just read all of his writing (it’s an entire 14 volume set), they’re excellent and far ahead of their time

The Idea of India by Sunil Khilnani - an analysis of sorts of what pre-colonial and colonial society and the freedom struggle mean for the republic and the kind of nation-building that has happened.

A New India of India: Individual Rights in a Civilisational State by Harsh Madhusudan, Rajeev Mantri - rethinks the “idea of India”; traces cultural and historical legacy in making of modern politics, and explores how individual rights are reconciled with the state’s goals; great thing is that it takes a fresh look at things; perfect to be read after The Idea of India

10 Judgements that Changed India by Zia Mody - recounts ten most important legal cases and court rulings in India; good starting point at understanding how the law works and its development

Republic of Religion by Abhinav Chandrachud - about secularism and religion in India in light of colonial rule, and its implications in postcolonial India

India Unbound by Gurcharan Das - it’s a history from the Independence to 2000 that focuses largely on the political economy and unpacks the kind of growth we’ve seen; it mixes the personal with the political/economic progress and it’s really easy to get into; best when read with his India Grows at Night

People

Kanshiram by Badri Narayan - a biography of Kanshi Ram, who pretty much laid the foundation of modern Dalit political movement in post-independence India; looks into how the movement developed under Kanshi Ram; a useful insight into both the man as well as early Dalit politics in India

Savarkar by Vikram Sampath - first part of a two-part biography (second part isn’t out yet) on V. D. Savarkar, one of India’s first revolutionary freedom fighter; looks at an insane variety of sources and highly detailed; a must read.

History Men by T. C. A. Raghavan - about the friendship of three of colonial India’s first native historians (Sir Jadunath Sarkar, G. S. Sardesai, Raghubir Sinh) and how they collaborated and supported each other in writing Indian history using scientific methods; also looks at their contributions to Indian history in general

Rammohun Roy by Amiya P. Sen - a biography of colonial India’s first social and religious reformers who reinterpreted Hinduism for modern times; very well-written, great for understanding how early reform worked out

Daughters of the Sun by Ira Mukhoty - about women in the Mughal dynasty. note that it only looks at women connected to and part of the royal household, but an interesting read nonetheless. Her other work, Heroines: Powerful Indian Women in Myth and History is a wonderful book on women in history right from the ancient times; also analyses and explains the changing perceptions of women

R. N. Kao: Gentleman Spymaster by Nitin Gokhale - really, really, really interesting book on R. N. Kao and the development of India’s espionage machinery

Art

Indian Art by Partha Mitter - a history, he’s one of the best on Indian art, very useful

The Dance of Shiva by Ananda Coomaraswamy - a collection of essays on Indian artistic tradition in aesthetic and philosophical terms

The Spirit of Indian Painting by B. N. Goswamy - specifically about painting; explores different themes in different regionals tyles; also check other books by Goswamy, he’s kind of a big deal in art history

Indian Painting: the Lesser Known Traditions by Anna Dallapiccola - pretty much what it says; takes into account a ton of styles and traditions that are lumped together ‘folk art’

Cities, Travel etc

The Great Indian Railway Bazaar by Paul Theroux - four-month journey from London to India by trains only; explores themes like colonialism, American imperialism, poverty. One of my favourites

The Epic City by Kushanava Chaudhary - memoir on Kolkata as the author explores and re-discovers the city when he comes back to it after staying in the US for most of his life; a lovely book, delves in the history of Kolkata a little in relation to how the city still feels it, how its people are still negotiating with it, and the kind of future the author sees for Kolkata

Bombay, Meri Jaan by Jerry Pinto & Naresh Fernandes - a collection of essays on Mumbai by a wide collection of people from Naipaul to Khushwant Singh to Manto and Salman Rushdie, compiled by Jerry Pinto; one of my favourites on the city

No Full Stops in India by Mark Tully - writings from when Tully was a journalist in India; commentaries on things he witnesses, also includes a fair amount of personal involvement; explores poverty, postcolonial development, religion and culture in post-independence India

Mumbai Fables by Gyan Prakash - a history of Mumbai city; looks at colonisation, industrial development, the regional politics, architecture and art, as well as the underworld/mafia

Banaras by Diana L. Eck - on Varanasi (Banaras), probably India’s holiest city; tells its history from its conception to now; blends religion, mythology, politics, and history. Also check Eck’s India: A Sacred Geography

The City of Djinns by William Dalrymple - semi-autobiography about living in Delhi; looks at the legacies of independence and partition while thinking about its past

The Book of Indian Journeys by Dom Moraes - it’s an anthology of essays and excerpts from works of a bunch of writers on travelling in India, it’s a favourite when I’m travelling

This is not exhaustive and I will keep updating when I find the time. I’ve tried to keep it diverse (and organised) in its content; hope you find something you like :)

#india #booklr #bookblr #bookstagram #book recommendations #book #reading #history #history major #historyblr #indian history #good reads #book list #academia #asia #south asia #desi academia #book recs

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farrah-fowler · 3 years

Text

my friends and i have problems {sleepy bois inc x reader}{dream smp au}

pairings: found family!sbi x fem!reader (she/her) word count: 2.1k warnings: cursing, violence, injury, mention of blood a/n: reader is tommy’s older sister :) there will be a part two :) GIF ISN’T MINE

“just give this up, y/n,” dream huffed as he adjusted his grip on his sword. he smirked behind his mask as he lifted it and got ready to strike. “it’s not worth it. he’s not worth it.”

he knew his words were making her angrier, his smirk deepening as her eyes slanted and her face flashed red. he got the reaction he wanted. y/n lifted herself off the ground, not bothering to wipe the dirt off of her armor. she hoisted her sword up, ready to attack whenever he was. “i’m not going to give up. i’ll get tommy back here or i’ll die trying.”

dream felt anger rise in his chest as he took a step forward. somehow the mask he donned morphed into an expression that caused an undeniable feeling of fear in y/n’s gut. she tried to swallow her feelings but she couldn’t rid herself of the suffocating fear she felt. dream took another step forward, holding his sword closer to himself. “then i guess you’ll die trying.”

suddenly, his sword, nightmare as he named it, swung through the air. y/n saw the glint of the setting sun reflect off of it before she felt the blade of the sword hit her arm. she grunted in pain as the blade hit the one part of her arm that she neglected to cover with armor. dream laughed maniacally and used the butt of his sword to push against her chest plate, knocking y/n back to the ground. he flipped the sword in his hand and pressed the tip of it to y/n’s throat. “just. give. up.” with each word, he pressed the sword harder into y/n’s neck. she held her breath as she anticipated the trickle of blood down her neck. but it never came. instead, she heard the voices of her adoptive brother and father from down the pathway. dream took a step back as the voices neared before he enderpearled away, leaving y/n alone in the middle of the field.

“y/n?” ghostbur’s voice piped up as him and philza turned the corner. he smiled brightly at her, basically skipping over to where she sat in the field. “hi y/n! phil and i were just headed over to techno’s house to visit him! oh- oh my, you have jam all over your face and arms. here, have some blue, calm yourself.”

at the mention of jam, phil turned his attention from the spot dream previously stood in to face his adoptive daughter. his expression twisted into one of worry as he saw all of the cuts and bruises that littered her exposed skin from the duel she just had with dream. “y/n…what did you do?”

“can we not do this right now?” she sighed heavily as she took the blue from ghostbur and stuffed it in her pocket. “i don’t need you to go all ‘dadza’ on me right after i almost got stabbed to death by the masked idiot.”

phil shot her a look that said ‘we’ll talk about this later’ and bent down to help her stand up. “fine. let’s just get you to techno’s. i’m sure he has some materials to get you all cleaned up and healed.”

the three of them began their journey towards techno’s house. there was scattered chatter from philza and ghostbur every couple minutes but there was never any remark from y/n.

“i know what will help you, y/n!” ghostbur exclaimed as they tied up the small boat they used. “seeing tommy!”

y/n stopped dead in her tracks on the sand, turning to look at ghostbur with a confused stare. “what…what do you mean?”

“do you not know?” ghostbur asked.

“know what?”

“oh you’ll love this!” ghostbur beamed innocently. “tommy is at techno’s house!”

“what?” y/n whispered. she snapped her head towards her father figure and stared blankly. “for how long?”

“only a few days,” phil said. she felt anger boil inside of her at philza’s words. she started walking again, towards techno’s house with purpose in her step, ignoring the pain from her cuts and bruises.

“and you were going to tell me when?” y/n seethed. ghostbur and philza hurried after her, barely falling into step with her hasty movements.

“soon,” phil said, his voice raising slightly to match her tone. “we were trying to figure out what the situation was with dream and tubbo.”

“and you didn’t think that i should have been involved in that conversation? or were you going to wait until after dream killed me to say something?” y/n bit back. she turned down the path towards techno’s house, the subtle landmarks indicating which way she was supposed to go before her eyes caught sight of the small spruce cabin. she sprinted towards the cabin, ignoring the shooting pain in her legs. y/n banged on techno’s door until he through it open. he looked at the much shorter girl with surprise, his eyes flitting between her and phil and ghostbur standing behind her awkwardly. “where is he?”

“where’s who?” techno coughed. even though he was the infamous technobalde who never died and was notorious for his dueling skills, nothing scared him more than y/n when she was upset. the root of this fear being when she was first introduced to techno, he thought it would be funny to steal her favorite sword from the chest in her room. he ended up with a black eye. ever since then, y/n’s been the one person to strike fear into the heart of the almighty technoblade.

“you know exactly who i’m talking about,” y/n huffed. she glared at techno as he shifted on his heels. techno glanced at phil who just nodded before he let y/n into the house.

“follow me,” he said as he descended the ladder. “what happened to your face?”

“what happened to yours?” she sneered.

“ouch,” technoblade mumbled. “tommy! get out here.”

tommy came stumbling out from behind a wall and stopped when he saw y/n. there she stood, his big sister. the only person to stick with him through thick and thin. the only person to actively try to stop dream after tommy was exiled. a big smile spread across his face as he ran towards her. instinctively, she pulled tommy in for a hug. tommy hugged her back briefly before stepping away. “you’re here! you’re really here! i thought dream would’ve exiled you too by now.”

“he definitely tried to,” y/n muttered, earning confused glances from techno and philza.

“what happened to your face?” tommy asked once he noticed the cuts from her duel with dream.

“don’t worry about it. it doesn’t matter right now,” y/n said smiling.

“oh so he gets a real answer but i get the response of a two year old. makes sense,” techno said in his signature monotone voice.

“it’s getting late so why don’t we eat some dinner and then relax for a little bit. like a family,” philza cut in before there could be another childish spat.

techno maneuvered through the small kitchen, throwing raw beef and pork into their respective furnaces. tommy and ghostbur went outside to put some small additions onto the house tommy was building.

“so, are you going to tell me what happened to you?” phil asked expectantly. the question caught techno’s attention and he turned to face them while waiting for the steak and pork chops to cook.

“igothurtwhileduelingwithdreamtogettommybackfromexile,” y/n mumbled quickly under her breath.

“what?”

“i got hurt while dueling with dream to get tommy back from exile,” y/n said louder and slower.

“what were you thinking? dueling dream alone? not even i’d do that,” techno chastised. very few times would he step into the role of ‘older brother’ and now was one of those times.

“i was thinking that i needed to get my brother back to his home instead of letting him sit in god knows where all by himself,” y/n all but shouted. “phil, back me up.”

“actually, y/n, i’m siding with techno on this one. it was risky and kind of stupid to go against dream. we don’t know what weapons or resources he has and he could have killed you,” phil scolded. “you know you could have just asked techno or i for help and we could have made a plan.”

“no, i couldn’t have,” y/n said sternly. “this was my battle and i needed to fight it. by myself.”

“why won’t you let us help you?” phil asked, growing frustrated at y/n’s stubbornness.

y/n took a deep breath and let her resolve melt. “because i don’t want to have to need help or have problems okay?! if i have problems that i can’t solve by myself then that makes me weak. tommy is my brother so it’s my job to get him back to l’manburg.”

“but y/n, we’re all a family. we’re all here for each other and will help each other out. just because we aren’t all biologically related doesn’t make tommy any less my brother than he is yours. just like your as much my sister as you are tommy’s,” ghostbur said, catching y/n, phil, and techno off guard.

“i..i know that ghostbur,” y/n sighed. “but tommy is my responsibility and i needed to do it alone.”

“tommy is all of our responsibility, y/n,” techno replied as he pulled out the steaks from the furnace. “why do you think i let him stay here? i wouldn’t let just anyone hide here.”

“so what exactly happened?” phil asked, changing the attention back to y/n’s wounds since he could tell she was about to explode and yell at all three of them.

“where’s tommy?” y/n asked, searching the small room.

“he said he had something for you and he wanted me to distract you,” ghostbur said. he picked up his satchel and took out a little blue bundle. “here have some blue, please calm yourself.”

“thank you ghostbur,” y/n said, flashing him a genuine smile.

“so, what happened?” phil asked again.

y/n sighed as she put the blue into her satchel, groaning at the pain in her arm from where dream cut her. “i was on my way to go see niki and puffy but i bumped into dream. he kept taunting me about tommy’s exile and saying things about tommy not wanting to see me anymore because i abandoned him.”

“he was just saying that to make you mad, y/n,” phil sighed.

“yeah, i know. and it worked. i don’t know what happened next or who drew their sword first, all i remember is him kicking my ankle and me falling to the ground. then he cut my arm and i thought he was going to kill me but you guys showed up,” y/n explained. “he just kept taunting me. saying things like tommy wasn’t worth all the hassle and that i’d die before i’d get him back to l’manburg.”

“let me see where he cut you,” phil said. techno was already moving through the house to get one of his healing potions for y/n. y/n took off her chest plate and showed her arm to phil. it was a lot worse than she expected. the blood was starting to cake on her arm and there was a large gash going from just above her elbow to the center of her forearm. “damn, he got you good. techno hand me the potion and a bottle of water.”

techno passed him both of the objects, smiling pitifully at y/n. sensing what was about to happen, ghostbur left the house quickly, muttering something about needing to give tommy some blue. phil unscrewed the glass bottle of water and poured it on y/n’s arm. she hissed as the water came into contact with the nasty injury.

“holy shit, where’d you get that?” tommy’s voice cut through the room startling y/n. she snapped her head towards where he stood in the doorway. he had worry written all over his face and was staring down at the large gash on y/n’s arm.

“dream,” techno said simply. rage flashed through tommy’s face.

“that asshole did this to you?” tommy asked. he didn’t wait for a response. “when i get my hands on him-”

“tommy,” y/n sighed. “it’s okay don’t worry about it.”

“it’s not okay, y/n,” tommy said.

“well what are we going to do about it?” y/n asked.

“well they’re having a festival in l’manburg,” techno cut in. “and we know that dream is for sure going to be there.”

“what’re you saying, techno?” phil asked while handing y/n the healing potion.

“i’m saying, we do something about this guy and take him out once and for all. we go to the festival and freak havoc. then it’s a win-win.”

“a win-win?” y/n inquired.

“you guys can take down dream,” techno paused. “and i’ll take down l’manburg.”

#sleepy bois inc x reader #sleepy bois inc #sbi x reader #dream smp au #dream team x reader #wilburxpancakes' masterlist #wilburxpancakes' writing #ghostbur #philza #technoblade #tommyinnit

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michelemoutons · 3 years

Text

and at last, the post that maybe three people maximum have been waiting for...

em's comfort retro rally videos: a masterlist!

in a much-needed return to this blog's roots, and as an antidote to all motorsport- and life-related chaos, i now present to you: the first edition of em's favorite retro rally videos!

general disclaimer/info: these videos mainly come from the group B era of the world rally championship (wrc), which generally speaking was in the '80s. i am only human, so expect a lot of bias toward my personal favorites...which will become very apparent as you read this list hehe. also i'm not even gonna pretend to be an expert on this or anything. a lot of these are literally just based on Vibes

table of contents

i. my top 5 rally coverage videos

mainly coverage for television, recorded on VHS and uploaded to YouTube by some truly incredible people

ii. honorable mentions

not rally coverage, but retro rally videos nevertheless

often documentaries, mini-doc features, interviews

for all videos, i have indicated the language (most are in english fyi); if any links fail or videos disappear, send me an ask or DM and i'll remove the culprit/find an alternative link.

and now, onward!

(TW for occasional flash photography in many of the night sequences of the videos, as well as a gif included in this post)

i. my top 5 rally coverage videos

in which my bias toward audi sport, mouton/pons, mikkola, toivonen, and vatanen are put on blast for all to see 🥴 i am not an expert in anything i am just very good at research and a whore for aud—[SNIPED]. for the sake of brevity, i narrowed my favorites down to 5. maybe another time i will share all the rest!

also, a general note about the commentary: sometimes, the commentary around michèle and fabrizia can get... weird. keep in mind, they were the most prominent female team partnership around that time, and the first to nearly clinch a wrc wdc, and to modern ears, the commentators really didn't know how to act around them. personally, it wasn't horrible for me, i just ignored the weirder bits, but i understand if others might find it off-putting. also for the sake of your sanity don't read the comments.

5. Rally of the 1000 Lakes, 1984 | finland

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: vatanen/alén/toivonen (full final results)

comments: this was definitely a rally for most of audi sport's drivers to forget: bar stig blomqvist, who came quite close to the podium finishers with a 4:14:01 to henri toivonen's 4:12:57! both hannu mikkola and michèle mouton had to retire from the race, which may lead you to wonder: why does this rank among my favorites? well, it's always fun to watch group b rally cars sailing through the air against picturesque scenery, and this video also contains an intriguing (at least for me!) look at the scrutineering process, with drivers at their most casual.

owie :( they were fine though!

4. Lombard RAC Rally, 1981 | britain

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: mikkola/vatanen/blomqvist (full final results)

comments: hannu winning by 11 whole minutes even after rolling his car in the middle of the forest is actual legend behavior! anyway this was michèle's first wrc outing in britain, and even though she and fabrizia had to retire, they still did quite well, consistently running high in the leaderboards after the first few stages. and that's considering the fact that michèle had a bad cold for much of the rally and had to ask fabrizia to drive the car to service park for her at one point bc she was so tired. which fabrizia did... with a pencil in her mouth. lot of big names in one video—also, jean todt makes an appearance as a co-driver!

shamelessly poached off of one of my text post edits

3. Marlboro Safari Rally, 1983 | kenya

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: vatanen/mikkola/mouton (full final results)

comments: ok can i just say how stunning the video presentation is?? the opening sequence is just!!! the shots of the wildlife! the sprinting giraffes! wow! anyway the visual of drivers in deck chairs just tickles me for no reason, and michèle please tell me what you ask for at the hairdresser's and also where you got that orange blouse (this is obviously not just specific to this rally, she always eats and leaves no crumbs). this was michèle's first entry and only finish in kenya (and of course it was a podium mwah). it was also her last wrc entry in the A1 quattro, as she switched to the A2 for the rest of her program in the '83 season. also this is one of my favorite podium pictures ever.

lksdjffnnkd there's almost too much to unpack... fabrizia somehow surviving in high waist jeans in a hot car... michèle's do-it-yourself shorts... this podium picture was the subject of a very frantic video chat conversation between myself and a friend at 2am a few months ago

2. Rallye de Portugal, 1982 | portugal

links: short recap (eng) | overall coverage 1, stuck in the middle of two other rallies. timestamps in descrip. (eng) | overall coverage 2, very vibey with cool music (ita... also peep walter röhrl speaking italian)

podium: mouton/eklund/wittmann (full final results)

comments: GOD I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH AAAA! michèle's first podium of '82 being a win? this rally being the one where there's footage of her going shopping with fabrizia afterward? (more on that later) them winning by 13 whole minutes? and that's not even considering THEE most poetic victory ceremony of all time! in fact let me talk about that bc the racing and the win aside, that's why it's so high up on my list! literally poetic cinema! it's night, they're standing on top of the car and floodlit and surrounded by cheering crowds but they may as well be the only ones there in their own little world, laughing at each other and barely even having to look to each other when they're raising their hands—like god! shut up! we get it you're besties 😭

i_just_think_theyre_neat.png

and now... last but certainly never least...

1. Lombard RAC Rally, 1982 | britain

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: mikkola/mouton/toivonen (full final results)

comments: firstly, if you were to ask me about my dream podium, this would be it. hands down, across all series of motorsport, my comfort podium would be hannu, michèle, and henri in any order. (there's such a cute picture of them from this rally on pinterest, standing in order on a staircase. henri is not looking at the camera because he is laughing at something michèle is saying and it's such a Vibe but i cannot find it wah). the battle for second between michèle and henri ran down to literally the last stage, and their times are separated by seconds, which is just wild to me. the context of this rally deserves another post, which i honestly don’t have the energy to make rn, but just take my word for it that it threatens to destroy me if i think about it too hard! anyway this is just such an awesome rally and i’ve watched this video so many times haha

i love this rally so much that i actually had a character in a story i was writing attend the ceremony captured in this picture as a small child and made it a formative moment in her life. no, there is nothing wrong with me.

ii. honorable mentions

(is it obvious who my faves are? yikes)

'Group B - Avec Michele Mouton' (eng) - taken from a longer feature presentation about group b, a segment specifically about michèle. a friend once described its vibes as ‘a synth wave edit of an 80s anime set in a cyberpunk world about racing’

'1983 Audi Sport National Rally with Michele Mouton' (eng) - in which michèle takes journalist sue baker as a co-driver for a spin in an A1 and a rally win. fun behind-the-scenes video

'Intervista a Fabrizia Pons, la Regina delle Note' 1, 2, 3 (ita) - very thorough interview which is mostly fabrizia telling all sorts of stories, including the very entertaining story of how she found out she was going to be michèle’s co-driver. also what a badass title

'2008 Otago International Classic Rally' (eng) - THE BESTIES REUNITE THE BESTIES REUNITE!!! michèle and fabrizia reunite for a rally that fabrizia convinced michèle to join, they suffer some problems but there are plenty of wholesome bestie moments to be had

'Michele Mouton hurls Group B Audi Quattro up Goodwood hill' (eng) - i mean, self explanatory. the sound of the chirping tires? asmr could never. very short watch if you want a quick pick-me-up

'1990 Louise Aitken-Walker feature' (eng) - a video featuring a female rally driver from scotland and her point-scoring run at the rallye monte -carlo. i am convinced that louise was john finnemore’s inspiration or at least an influence for the character of linda fairbairn. no my hat is not made of tin foil what are you talking about

hannu rocketing around michigan back in 2017 (eng)

hannu flying around goodwood in 2015 (eng)

sometimes i listen to fabrizia's recent onboards (yes, she's still at it!) and this one is one of my favorites, from 2016 (ita)

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iloveitwhen · 4 years

Text

What Team? (pt. 2)

(yes, everytime i see “what team?” i think “wildcats!” and i just couldn’t help myself with the title heehee)

I hope this meets all of your expectations! if not then sorry i guess lmao. if there are mistakes or inconsistencies let me know(:

So I got a little carried away and this is much MUCH longer than the first part so... sorry? you’re welcome? idk but turns out the story has not progressed but it basically has so let’s say it did. I also got a little carried away with Alix meeting the waynes... (Also I should add I don't know squat about roller blading)

Part 1

Based on this post by @unmaskedagain

--------

Alix wasn’t stupid, granted her best friend was Kim and together they were pretty stupid, but Alix was not inherently stupid, Kim just lowered her IQ by a significant amount just by being around him, ok? Not her fault. But anyways, point being, Alix was not stupid, she could see the way Lila's face morphed to disgust when she looked at Marinette and thought no one was watching, or when she sneered at the backs of all of her classmates when they turned around, so of course she knew why Lila really tried to force "Lukanette" down everyone's throats, she wanted to be on top. Alix aslo prided herself in not having problems such as crushes, why bother yourself when clearly people are not… hot, attractive, sexy, ect. Alix didn’t understand how or why people so desperately wanted to kiss each other but not having that urge really brought light to her class’ situation. She had learned from the way Kim used to look at Chloe and the way Max looked at Kim and the way Marinette looked at Adrien, there were plenty more examples, like Mylene and Ivan, anyways, they all had the same look even if they were trying to hide it. Lila looked at Marinette with that same look but hidden under disgust, but then again she also looked at Adrien that way too, without disgust and hate though. But she also hated Marinette, plain and simple. Wait, definitely not simple. As for why she hated Marinette, Alix just hadn't gotten that far yet, but she was sure it had something to do with Adrien. And being a closeted gay.

As for everyone else it was no secret that Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Lila Rossi did NOT like each other but lucky, or unlucky depending on how you look at it, the class simply ignored the both of them when they tried talking about the other.

Marinette, picking up on the fact that she won that battle, stopped trying to tell everyone about Lila’s obvious lies. She knew the girl still had it out for her but she was completely powerless when it came to taking Marinette’s friends away. It was quite exhausting listening to Lila and not being able to say anything that would disprove her lies because no matter how sound her proof was her classmates wouldn’t listen. And Marinette honestly just wanted to sleep.

Lately she didn’t know what was going on, all week people kept whispering and would change the conversation when she arrived. She thought they were talking behind her back but they never gave her dirty looks, in fact they were even more friendly and she got a large increase of “morning Marinette!” and “How are you doing?” which was only slightly confusing. At least they were finally being as friendly and considerate towards her as she was towards them.

“Hey Marinette?” Marinette looked up from her sketchbook as her thoughts scattered to see Juleka nervously tapping on her desk with her nails while Rose stood behind her girlfriend with a look that could only be described as sparkly. Marinette raised an eyebrow but smiled kindly at them.

“Yes?”

“So, umm,” she cleared her throat nervously, “can you help me and Rose make shirts that say “Team Luka” on them?”

“Team lu- uhmm sure?”

Juleka gave her a rare smile and a soft “thanks” before returning to her seat with Rosa who squeaked “you're the best Marinette!” Marinette gave the girl a weak smile and a small nod of appreciation and just stared in confusion at the spot where the two girls stood previously.

What?

The heck?

“What was that all about?” Alya voiced Marinette’s thoughts and slid into her seat, poking Marinette’s arm to break the black haired girl out of her stupor.

“I'm... not sure....” She furrowed her brows in confusion. Who was Luka going against that required Juleka’s support? She hadn't heard of XY making headlines lately and Luka wasn't either, well she wasn’t really online either anyways. “They asked me to help them make Team Luka shirts.” She looked over to her friend and was brought to even more confusion. Alya looked… offended? But she quickly wiped the look off her face and pursed her lips together before turning to face the front saying,

“Interesting....”

After school Marinette, with Juleka and Rose, went to buy supplies before heading to the ship to meet with Luka. Together they made ten teal tie dyed shirts which they had printed “TEAM LUKA” on the center of it. Marinette tried asking what it was for but all three just redirected her so she eventually just dropped it.

As she was leaving Luka stopped her. “Thank you, Marinette,” he said softly, “you really are a wonderful girl, you deserve the world.” Of course that made Marinette blush, what was up with this guy and his cute, mushy words?

“Thanks, Luka. An- and don’t worry about it! Anything for you,” she trailed off for a moment before rushing to add, “and your family of course. Obviously.” She chuckled nervously while Luka just gave her an amused smile.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Have a wonderful evening, Marinette.” He turned and walked back onto the ship, leaving Marinette weak in the knees. She quickly steeled her nerves then chastised herself while walking away. Stop feeling for multiple boys. Stop feeling for multiple boys. Stop feeling….

---

Alya was not happy to find Juleka and Rose wearing teal tie dyed shirts saying “TEAM LUKA” printed on them. So they want to play THAT game. Ok. She can deal with that. In her desire to plan she missed Marinette’s rambles throughout class and the bell that signaling the start of lunch.

“ALYA!” she snapped her head to the source of the sound to find the one and only Chloe Bourgeois with a hand on her hip and pursed lips. She looked around the room to find it completely empty except for the two of them.

“Chloe!” she scooched over the bench and hopped up, accidentally almost bumping noses with the blonde girl from being too close but Chloe just gave a disgusted face and quickly took a step back. “Just the person I needed! Did you SEE those shirts?” Chloe huffed and rolled her eyes.

“Of course I did, Césaire. That is the only reason you will be spending more time than I am comfortable with in my presence. Come on.” She turned her heel and strutted out of the classroom while Alya scrambled to grab all of her belongings.

---

Not long at all after Marinette saw Juleka and Rose (Ivan quickly following suit) wearing the Team Luka shirts, Alya and Chloe, a pairing Marinette NEVER saw coming, walked in with matching shirts, orange for Alya and yellow for Chloe, with a fancy, clean font spelling out “Team Adrien” on the front and a bold “SUCK IT” on the back. Marinette watched Alya approach her seat with her jaw hanging loose.

WHAT WAS GOING ON???

“What is- you know what? Nevermind. I don’t want to know.” Alya smirked and slid into her seat. “You purposefully came last didn’t you?”

“Yep!” Alya replied happily while pulling her phone out and started typing furiously.

“Babe, where’s my shirt?” Nino had turned around and gave his girlfriend puppy eyes.

“Oh, here you go,” she pulled a green shirt out of her bag and tossed it to him while Adrien watched with interest. A sound of excitement escaped Nino when he caught the shirt and he opened it up to see the front which revealed the back of the shirt to Marinette. She felt the blood drain from her face and she lifted her hand to cover her mouth in horror. The back had a perfect snapshot of Adrien’s side profile from his ad for cologne when he was gliding through the air. Marinette glanced at Adrien and saw that his jaw had dropped and his face started to burn a deep red. Marinette just wanted to cry. Nino flipped it over and Marinette saw “Team Adrien” in the same font of Chloe and Alya’s shirts while Nino let out an unearthly squeal.

“It’s PERFECT! Adrien! Look!” he flipped the shirt over to show Adrien but the blonde boy had already curled in on himself and hid his face in his arms.

“Whyyyyy, Alyaaaaa.” Alya smirked and looked up from her phone.

“Don’t worry Adrien, we’re rooting for you.”

Marinette cried (internally) that night as she prayed to every Kwami she knew to save her soul.

---

Adrien didn’t know what was going on, at first when he saw Luka’s shirts he really wanted one too to show his support of his acquaintance. Adrien didn’t know the boy that well but he was very kind and any team that Luka was on Adrien wanted to be on too heehee. After his friends started wearing Team Adrien shirts he felt… conflicted. And slightly uncomfortable. He was happy his friends were supporting him but it just felt wrong to root for himself. So to counteract this he approached Juleka when the school ended and got his own shirt. The next day he changed into it after getting dropped off at school, obviously because his Father would make him burn the shirt if he ever saw Adrien wearing it, and when he came out of the restroom he found Lila climbing the stairs in her own Team Luka shirt. Her eyes shot up in surprise at the sight of him before a strained smile etched onto her lips.

“Lila! It’s great to see we’re on the same team.” He smiled kindly at her and gave a silent prayer to Plagg that she didn’t think he was flirting with her as she always seemed to assume.

“Indeed, Adrien.”

Everyday for the next week more and more people wore their own team shirts until the class was split in half, save for Nathanial, Marinette, and Alix. Adrien continuously tried to find out what the teams were for but someone always assured him that it was nothing to worry about.

It wasn’t until he saw Chloe’s retweet of Alix’s tweet that he realized that his class was warring over who was the better match, him or Luka, for one of Alix’s friends that apparently the entire class knew besides Nathanial and Marinette as they never picked a side. He wondered if he knew the person that the class was talking about and decided to logout of twitter before anything got out of hand as it usually did whenever Chloe was on twitter.

---

“We have a problem.” Dick stated to his two brothers and adoptive father.

“Ok, what’s new?” Jason asked lazily, polishing his gun.

“Marinette is trending on twitter.”

“What?” Tim pulled his phone out and started going through the app as Dick continued.

“Team Luka, Team Adrien, Lukanette, and Adrinette are trending on twitter. Take a wild guess what that could mean.” Bruce rolled his eyes and started to say,

“Dick we don’t have time for this,” but Dick cut him off mid sentence and spoke over him.

“These boys are getting fought over who would be a better fit for Marinette. OUR Marinette. As in Marinette Dupain-Cheng.” Jason stopped polishing his gun and actually looked at Dick while Tim gagged.

“What?” all three voices before him spoke up in unison. Dick was surprised that Bruce spoke up with a little more exasperation.

“No!” Bruce dropped his face into his hands and groaned. He was certainly taking this far worse than Dick thought he would. The older man raised his head and gave Dick a look he usually gave him when he was trusting him with an important mission, “take care of this, make sure none of those boys steal Marinette away from Damian.” Dick nodded his head once.

“Yes, sir.”

---

Marinette and the Waynes go way back, so far back that when Bruce let it slip that he and Alfred used to have a neighbor at a lake house who would repeatedly visit whenever Alfred was there the batboys KNEW they had to find the one and only Gina and meet her ENTIRE family. Marinette was ten at the time and was immediately enraptured by Damian’s “old man” personality and forced him to have fun like a child during his short stay. The Batboys, as much as they were scared of Damian and what he might do, immediately shipped them together, Jason (being the fanfiction writer/reader which he never admitted to anyone) deemed the ship “Daminette” which the others agreed to fervently. But now, five years later and three very determined Daminette shippers later, Damian and his brothers were on a plan to France to meet with Marinette.

“Momma Cheng! Papa Dupain!” Dick swung the bakery door open and sauntered in while the others trailed behind him rolling their eyes, except for Tim, Tim was excited for good coffee.

“Oh Richard!” Sabine walked around the counter and gave all the boys a quick hug and handed them off to her husband who cracked their backs with his monstrous hugs. Sabine reached Damian and pulled him into a hug before he could protest then held him at arm's length. “Oh my have you grown! Tom,” she turned her head to her husband while still holding onto Damian.

Tom set down Tim who stumbled and was caught by Dick before hitting the ground. “Yes, dear?”

“Hasn’t he grown so much? Such a handsome young man,” she let go and pinched his cheek which he pulled away from when suddenly he was lifted into a smoldering hug and felt the cr-rick cra-ack! of his spine. He wiggled in the grip finding he couldn’t get out but when he was placed back down he felt a little lightheaded and refused to stumble like an embarrassment Tim was.

“You fellas can grab some treats, Marinette won’t be home until pretty late but you boys are welcome to stay until she arrives” The boys all nodded in response and said their chorus of thank you’s and went to grab some pastries before heading to the inside of their home.

Jason quickly got restless and Dick followed him to babysit keep an eye on him while Tim pulled out his computer and started typing away. Damian got bored and decided to explore. He knew it was probably inappropriate but he politely asked Sabine if he could go up to Marinette’s balcony knowing she probably kept her garden growing up there when she started it out of spite of him after he insulted her capabilities to take care of another thing, much less herself. He was pleased, and slightly annoyed, to find a beautiful garden with an array of flowers, herbal plants and even a beautiful small tree.

After a while being by himself a ragged looking cat sauntered over to the balcony and Damian quickly made friends with the animal and deemed it sweet and good and no harm would ever come to such an animal under his watch. He decided she was worthy to carry the name Enibas and smiled as she curled up on his chest while they both drifted off to sleep on the deck chair.

---

Alix re-strapped her skates and got back up, ignoring the pain in her badly scraped hip and rolled out her shoulder while skating back uphill to the beginning of her obstacle course. She spun around and narrowed her eyes at the several cones placed strategically in front of her. She had set up her area by the Eiffel Tower and the locals already knew to steer clear as she had been doing this regularly for the past seven years ever since she got her first pair of skates. She blocked everything and anything out of her mind and focused on her breathing and steadied her body, with one more huff of breath she shot out towards the cones.

First: three cones placed closely together in a line and a fourth further behind, she spun in circles and lifted her heel of her right foot and toes of her and glided through the three cones quickly, she then jumped in the air and spun in a circle in midair over the fourth cone in a slight pirouette position before landed on her left foot with her arms out, bent over slightly, and her right leg sticking out behind her.

Second: she was still gliding very fast and twisting her extended leg gave her the momentum to face behind her, there were no cones but she knew what to do. She bent the leg supporting her and cut to the right and expertly landed on her padded hand and using the walled walkway beside her she pushed her left leg out to skate alongside and up the wall. Placing her other hand on the ground she pushed her body up high, higher than anybody should be able to do but given the fact she discovered Fluff gave her a bit of an advantage, she twirled and twisted to land on both feet. Once again Alix was facing downhill and even though she lost a lot of speed with the last move she was gaining again.

Third: there was a little makeshift ramp, Alix huffed again and pushed herself downhill. She would make it this time. Going as fast as she thought was safe, she skated on top of the ramp and keeping her legs straight she let it lift her, Alix let herself fly for a bit letting her legs carry up as her upper body fell before tucking her legs in to quicken the flip. However, instead of flipping too fast like last time, slipping, and slamming onto her shoulder, she went higher than she anticipated and shot her legs out to reach the ground quicker and ungracefully swung her arms about to prevent her from falling backwards again. She thumped onto the ground but before she could celebrate her success of landing on two feet she tripped from the unbalance and yelled “FU**!” before smashing into the ground.

Alix groaned from the pain and thanked the Kwami’s she always wore her helmet, if not she was sure she'd have much more than just a scratched chin.

“Are you okay?” a panicked man’s voice entered her ears and without moving to see who it was she gave a thumbs up.

“Holy sh** that was AWESOME!” another man’s voice invaded her ears again. Great. American tourists.

Alix pushed herself up to see who it was speaking to find, what most would call, a handsome gentleman with black hair and clear blue eyes filled with worry. She looked over at the other man who looked pretty much the same except with a weird strip of white hair and was typing furiously on his phone.

“Oi!” she pointed at the white striped hair dude, “di**head, did you take a video? Where are you sending it?”

“Jason!” the first with the blue eyes looked back at his… partner? “Don’t send that to anyone, alright?” The guy looked between the man in front of Alix then to her before shrugging.

“I wasn’t going to.” Alix still stared at him while he went back to his phone but walked up to the two on the ground.

“Are you sure you're ok, miss?” the man in front of her asked. She looked back at him and raised an eyebrow.

“I've been doing this since I was eight. I’ve had worse.” the guy nodded then smiled brightly.

“That was very impressive though.” He stood up and offered his hand which she took and stood up with him. “Do you mind if I join you? I would love it if I could. I’ve never actually done flips and stuff with skates but I think I can handle it. So can I?” His smile was so big and innocent that Alix laughed at him.

“I’m sorry but this isn’t exactly something you can just pick up and be good at, I’ve fallen enough times I won’t break a bone and while he,” Alix pointed at the other guy, “might be able to take a few crashes you don’t look like you’ve ever been in a serious harm. Like ever. No offence or anything I just don’t want some broken bones blamed on me.” She replied as nicely as she could but the man just started laughing.

“How about I show you what I can do on skates first and if you deem me unworthy I’ll take my leave.” Alix narrowed her eyes at him then gave him a slow nod. “Great!” he whipped out his phone and started texting someone while Alix just turned around and headed for her water bottle. These guys were weird.

Ten minutes later another guy showed up, Tim, as Alix was informed earlier, also had black hair and blue eyes except he seemed younger and was skinnier than the other two, and was carrying three pairs of new skates. Alix gawked at him, those were some of the nicest, most expensive pairs of skates in Paris and he had three. Yup. These were some rich fools.

Dick, as he introduced himself as (Alix laughed at him for such an unfortunate name), squealed and rushed to put on a pair of skates and wheeled around doing impressive jumps and moves that he really had no right doing while Jason yelled “I told you not to get me a pair!” the new boy shrugged and put his own on. Alix sighed and shook her head, accepting that these particular rich fools would be quite stubborn.

“Ok. I’m ready.” Alix turned towards Dick who looked at her expectantly.

“Ok. What are you waiting for, am I supposed to help you with something or…?”

“Oh! Uh… can I do the course? He pointed downhill at her makeshift course and she nodded.

“Sure. Don’t blame me when you crack your head open, you should really get a helmet by the way.”

“Oh don’t worry,” he waved her off and smiled like he wasn’t in actual danger, “I do stuff like this all the time.” He readied himself and went through her course, not as dramatic as she had done but toned down motions and movements and when he got to the ramp he jumped as far up as he could but didn’t flip. He skated back up and went through again adding a little more complicated movements through it. Alix watched with interest as Tim skated up to her side and stuck a hand out.

“Hello, I’m Tim.”

“I know.” Alix accepted his hand shake, “I’m Alix,” she replied before returning to watching Dick go through the course.

“I hope we’re not bothering you too much. I saw the video and I really wanted to meet you and I knew Dick here would love to do some stunts of his own. Did he already tell you what you did wrong with that flip that made you lose your balance?”

“Huh? He’s good but I don’t think he’ll be flipping on skates anytime soon.”

“Oh, actually we all kind of do crazy stunts like this on a daily basis and he specializes in acrobats so I just figured he told you already.”

“Ok! I think I’m ready!” Dick called out after his fourth round skating up the hill.

“No,” Alix breathed out. “He’s not gonna do the backflip is he?”

“Yup,” Tim lightly chuckled. “Sorry we’re all a little crazy.”

“This is for you, Alix.”

“Wait, no-” but Dick ignored her and started through the course again. He skated skillfully around the cones and did a perfect pirouette over the fourth cone as if he’d been doing it for years and did his own little crazy stint with a backflip then raced towards the ramp and with straight legs he let his legs fly up and his head drop much longer than she was comfortable with, then tucked his legs in but not as much as she did and landed perfectly and glided down the hill with his arms raised up like a gymnast.

“What!?” Alix yelled. She was highly peeved. She’s been trying this for the past week and he tries and lands on the first try!? Unfair. So unfair.

“Can I try?” Tim asked. Alix whipped her head to him and scoffed.

“Not you too? You're going to just flip like it's nothing too? No. No no no. Dick!” she yelled out unintentionally calling him the American curse word in the process to the man who turned around and started towards them.

“Yeah?” Alix waited until he stopped in front of her.

“How did you do that?”

“I just waited a bit longer before tucking my knees in. I noticed that you tucked too early and brought your knees too close to your chest which made you over flip. And by waiting a little longer you would have dropped a little further so you wouldn’t have struggled with being too high.” Alix huffed in annoyance.

“Ok… ok…. My turn, I’m going to get it this time.”

Alix went to the beginning of the course and took a deep breath, blocking everything out and shot out. She did her tricks and jumps and when she got to the ramp she felt a rush of adrenaline from the slight fear. She went up as high as she could and her legs went up and her upper body dropped. She waited past her comfort zone and looked down to the approaching ground. Then everything clicked. She tucked her legs in, following Dick’s words, and straightened them out again until they were slightly bent and landed. She whooped and pumped her fists in the air. She’d finally done it! She turned back around to find Jason on the side with his camera out and cheering her on while Tim and Dick did the same but without their phones. She laughed and skated back up the hill.

“I finally got it!”

“Yes!” Tim held out a hand and she high-fived it. “That was awesome! You are amazing!” Alix grinned widely at the praise.

“Thanks! I just have to land at least ten more times in a row,” she said as she readied herself to go again.

“Wait, I can’t go yet?”

“My course, my rules.” Tim smiled and nodded his head.

“Good point.”

For the next two hours Alix skated with the two boys and conversed with Jason when she was taking a break. That’s how she found out they were in Paris because of Marinette and refused to have two boys fighting over Marinette when she was already taken, well not yet but they were determined to get their brother Damian and Marinette together. She then decided she liked Jason, despite him taking unwanted videos though they turned out to be fun to watch (she cringed when she saw herself faceplant in the first video). It was nice to see people like the three of them looking out for Marinette, heaven knows she doesn’t have a guardian angel because she gets into way too much trouble without even trying, though the three of them were also troublemakers and chaos was basically Alix’s occupation. It was 19 hours (7:00) when they had to go but Alix was very excited when they invited her over with them to meet Marinette who they hadn’t seen in several years.

---

Marinette sighed from exhaustion as she pushed the front door of her parent’s bakery open. She had been working nonstop with Jagged Stone on his new stage outfits, she loved the guy but he was a handful sometimes.

“Marinette!” She looked up and gave her mother a tired smile while the woman handed a pastry to a customer. “Have a wonderful day,” she told the customer before walking around the counter as the man left and hugged her daughter. “We have some guests who came to visit you.” Mrs. Cheng smiled brightly at Marinette who scrunched her brows together in confusion.

“Who?” Her mother shook her head and pushed her towards the entrance to their home.

“You’ll see.”

Marinette walked through the door to find Alix wrestling Jason Todd to the ground while the man was pushing her face away with a pillow and Tim Drake watching, but not really watching, as he sipped on something she assumed was coffee, and Dick Grayson who was ignoring them all, laying on the couch watching spongebob in french. She cleared her throat to get their attention but nothing happened.

“Excuse me.” she called out but again, nothing.

“ExCUSE me.” Nothing besides Alix’s ‘hmph’ as Jason flipped her over and stood up, lightly smacking her with the pillow while yelling. “Taste defeat!”

“HEY!” Marinette finally yelled out. All four heads snapped to her and everything was silent for a moment before chaos erupted and all the three boys started shouting and squealing (Dick) and clamoring for hugs.

“Mari!”

“Nettie!”

“MY FAVORITE SISTER!”

Marinette made a strangled noise as they all squeezed the life out of her. Marinette was smiling and laughing with them but was very glad when she was finally back on her own feet.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“What, we can’t visit our little sister?” Jason asked innocently and Marinette crossed her arms and looked at him with disbelief etched in every part of her.

“Ok so we heard about your situation in your class and-”

“Hey!” Alix suddenly cut in and stuttered when all eyes were on her. “I mean, hey, so I was just hanging out with these guys all day and they’re all hungry, let’s fix them something to eat?” She looked at Marinette in question then clapped her hands together and nodded once to confirm it with herself. “Yes.”

Marinette looked at her suspiciously then at her pseudo brothers who suddenly started nodding in confirmation.

“Yes, food.”

“Yup.”

“Hunger is a thing I have.” Jason’s stomach grumbled as if on cue which broke Marinette’s suspicion and she giggled at him.

“Ok, spaghetti it is. Blue Bird, you're on cutting duty, Tim-Tam, you get the ingredients, Jay-Jay…. Alix, keep Jason busy.”

After a few minutes bustling around the kitchen Marinette suddenly remembered something and she turned to Dick, “Where’s the old man?”

After dinner was made Dick bounded into her room claiming Damian was napping on her balcony which Marinette smiled to in triumph but when Damian came downstairs her triumph washed away along with her soul.

Marinette was doing fine all day. She was completely rational and fine. She was fine. Currently she is NOT fine. She is NOT ok. And as for Damian? He was fine alright. Oh boy was he fine. As soon as he walked down from her trapdoor her jaw dropped to the floor.

---

Alix shook her head, she was having quite the time watching Marinette’s reaction to her childhood friend but felt a rush of relief that she didn’t have Marinette Problems.

“Seriously, Marinette? Close your mouth.” The girl snapped her mouth shut and tore her eyes away from Damian to land on the skater.

“Alix,” she hissed, “why is he so damn hot?” Alix smirked at her friend’s rare use of a curse word and watched as Marinette’s face started to pinken and she ducked behind the kitchen counter. Alix leaned over the counter and saw the tip of her friend’s head.

“Relax,” she tried to be reassuring but couldn’t stop grinning. She heard footsteps get closer and whispered, “he’s coming,” before plopping back onto her seat.

Damian walked into Marinette’s view and stopped to look at her on the floor with a scowl that Alix was sure was not helping Marinette’s situation.

“What are you doing on the floor, Dupain-Cheng?” Alix snickered while Marinette shot up on her feet.

“He’s a male Chloe Bourgeois!” she said mostly to herself.

“None of your business. I see you haven’t changed a bit, Old Man.” Damian scoffed.

“Neither have you, it seems, Sunshine Face.” Wow. Bad nickname.

“Oh,” Marinette placed her hands on her hips and cocked her head to the side, “so you still admit my face is pretty?” Oooo, where did Marinette get her game?

“What? No. More like I can’t look at it for too long because-”

Marinette began waving her hands back and forth to get him to stop, “ok ok ok,” where was she getting this confidence? She was literally hiding from him five seconds ago. “When you explain it, it loses the humor, did you learn nothing all those years ago?” Marinette shakes her head and Alix silently agrees, “pity. Anyways, my cooking has improved, as well as everything about me, I have clearly surpassed you, and here is some spaghetti we made while you were napping.” She grabbed a plate and waved her hand towards the food still on the stove while handing it to him, “help yourself.” She walked by him and headed to the couch where Jason and Dick had settled and plopped between them while they played video games. Alix nodded in approval as she watched Marinette walk away. When she turned back she found Damian watching her as well with cheeks slightly tinted pink. Wow. Does every boy she talks to fall for her? Even Kagami, poor soul, had fallen for Marinette as quickly as she could say “Begone, Adrien.”

This is going to be a fun week.

---

Marinette groaned in despair. Nino walked in with a blue shirt with a white outline of Adrien’s face like he was some kind of pop star and a red hat that of course said “Team Adrien”

“What's next,” Marinette mumbled to herself while leaning back and crossing her arms, “Team Damian?” Marinette heard a gasp and turned to see Alix staring at her like she had the greatest idea ever.

Very suddenly things clicked for Marinette. Her classmates were picking sides of who she should date. Adrien or Luka. It was literally the only connection she could find between the two boys, they only had about one or two conversations together in their entire lives and Marinette was definitely terrible at keeping her crushes secret so there was no way that at least Kitty Section would know about it. And thinking about Kitty Section they were the ones who started it. Oh no. Marinette made those shirts. Does Luka know? Probably. Adrien definitely doesn’t. Wwwooowww. Some friends she has.

And now Alix.

That BRAT! She was typing something on her phone… oh no.

“Alix,” Marinette said slowly as if approaching a rabid dog while unraveling her arms from her body. “Alix, no!” She jumped from her seat and lunged for the skater over Mylene who merely leaned back in her seat as if she’d been through this a million times. Alix jumped back while continuing to type then very clearly pressing send. “Noooooo…” Marinette slumped onto Mylene’s lap who patted the top of her head in pity.

She laid there for a moment taking in Mylene’s silent comfort before slowly standing up and ignoring everyone’s stares. She straightened her clothes saying a polite, “thank you, Mylene,” and a nod at her before focusing her gaze on Alix. “You’re dead, Kubdel,” she said then turning around and sitting straight backed on her seat trying desperately to ignore another snapshot of Adrien in a Gabriel line of workout clothes showing off his muscles on the back of Nino’s new shirt.

Marinette was slowly losing her mind.

---

The next day Alix walked in with a black shirt with green bold font saying “TEAM DAMIAN” on the front and she could feel Marinette staring daggers at her. She purposefully exposed her back to the class so they could see the “FIND YOUR OWN GIRL” printed on the back.

Alix ignored the stares while pulling out her school things until she heard Lila’s sickening sweet voice call out to, “who’s Damian?” Alix waited for a beat to make sure everyone was listening before smiling smugly, she couldn’t help it, and shrugging.

“Damian Wayne, obviously.”

---

Marinette would deny it but she felt a sick sort of satisfaction when Lila’s face paled.

BONUS:

“Plagg!” Adrien sounded exasperated and the little god chuckled evilly. It was such fun to tease his holder. The boy hadn’t caught on that his infatuation with Ladybug was just that: infatuation. He couldn’t see that he merely admired the girl, his father saw to it that Adrien was so sheltered that he couldn’t separate his feelings of the different types of love.

“Just saying, I know what you're doing there, “chaton”,” plagg mimicked Luka’s voice perfectly on the last word which instantly made Adrien become very red in the face, “you and I know what team you play for.” He threw the boy a wink and cackled before leaving him to ponder his words as he searched for more Camembert.

---

Felix rolled his eyes at his phone and quickly pressed the unfollow button on his cousin. What an embarrassment. He had absolutely no clue what he was throwing away because of his naïvety.

---

“I can feel your rage from here, Kagami.”

“Sorry, mother.” Kagami’s mother nodded her head as an acceptance of her apology.

“I’ve heard about that pesky little feud Gabriel’s child is in.” She stayed quiet for a moment but Kagami didn’t break the silence. “You are a Tsurugi, Kagami. No hesitation.” Kagami couldn’t stop the little smile that slid onto her face.

“Yes, mother,” she said quietly.

-------

Team Luka:

Lila, Juleka, Rose, Ivan, Sabrina, Adrien

Team Adrien:

Alya, Chloe, Nino, Kim, Max, Mylene

Team Damian:

Alix, Dick, Tim, Jason, Bruce

some long ass notes:

I didn’t add kagami and felix into the mix because it would really complicate things but for clarification in my mind Marinette and everyone is between 14-16 and Marinette doesn’t know it but she does have feelings for kagami but she's focused on the other two boys, she knows she likes boys and doesn't want to think about girls since it would complicate her situation and open a door to many more problems with her poor little teen heart. Kagami knows she likes Marinette though, she took one look at marinette and said “nope. Bye Adrien.”

SO i think it be pretty cool if whoever wants to can reply with their own versions of whatever ships they want and the characters interactions with them. I won’t be actually putting any characters together as to leave the imagination up to the reader but if you want you can go ahead and add yourselves to whatever team you want (:

Part 1

@miracleofadisaster @consumeconstantly @mermaidreject @alenee13 @how-to-fuction-properly @dreamykitty25 @certifiedbidisaster @kris-pines04 @ira-sairain @crystalangelluna @i-wanna-be-a-ninja @our-preciousss @iamabrownfox @susiej1118 @thenillabean @tired-butterfly @fantasyislive @prudencerika @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @clumsy-owl-4178 @notmycupoftea26 @iamablinkmarvelarmy

#adrinette #lukanette #daminette #what team #miraculous ladybug #ladybug #lil bit of lila salt but she's struggling #adrien x marinette #luka x marinette #damian x marinette #ok its too long i dont wanna reread it imma post it

738 notes · View notes

jojosbizarrefanfics · 4 years

Note

hihi!! i was wondering if you could write a jotaro fic where him and the reader get in an argument and then have sexy time to make up for it ? post- SDC joot of course :) and maybe star platinum could join them? i love your fics !!

make up sex is such a fitting prompt for joot and I’m here for it 😏 I got a little carried away oops

Jotaro didn’t mean to slam the door behind him, but he forgot his own strength for a moment. He leaned against the wall for a moment, the brim of his white hat covering his eyes, and you could hear him mutter his go-to “やれやれだぜ” beneath his breath.

You sat on the edge of the bed in the hotel room at the Morioh Grand Hotel and sighed. You were both fairly private and didn’t want to have this conversation in front of Josuke and his friends, so you felt like this had been bottling up now and was ready to burst. You weren’t sure if you would speak first or if Jotaro would. It ended up being him.

“You could have been seriously hurt out there. We don’t know the full scope of what we’re dealing with.”

“They needed my help. They’d all be seriously hurt, if not worse, had I not shown up in time,” you said. “I know you know that.”

“And I’m sure they’d have figured something out with Crazy Diamond,” Jotaro retorted. “There’s a killer out there, (YN). Do you want your hand to be the next one they find in a sandwich bag?”

“No, but I do wish you’d actually trust me to help. Is that not why I was brought along? In case any weird shit popped up?”

Jotaro took a few steps forward to ditch his hat on the desk. “I brought you along to make sure you were safe. Maybe that was a mistake. Maybe you’d be safer back at home.”

“You know I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself!”

“I can’t lose you, too!” Jotaro snapped. His hands gripped tightly at the chair in front of him. You were both quiet for a few moments after that. Your breathing felt heavy, like there was a weight on your chest, and the air was stiff with the silence.

To your surprise, Star Platinum emerged while Jotaro focused on his hat on the table, probably trying to calm himself down - he hadn’t snapped like that, especially at you, since he was a teenager. But Star Platinum moved to be at your eye-level and just looked at you; you felt like he could see into you.

You offered the Stand a smile, and he took that as an invitation to gently caress your cheek. You ran your fingers through Star Platinum’s hair, paying extra attention near the roots — Jotaro wouldn’t admit it verbally, but he was practically putty in your hands when you gently massaged his scalp.

“I’m not going to apologize for helping Josuke,” you said. “But I am sorry that I scared you.” With your other hand, you took a hold of Star Platinum’s. You weren’t sure how comfortable Jotaro was right now, but you knew he could feel everything Star Platinum was feeling.

“I’m sorry for yelling,” Jotaro said as he finally glanced over at you. “I...” He took a deep breath, and you noticed it sounded a bit shaky; to an untrained ear it wouldn’t, but you knew Jotaro well enough to tell.

“I know,” you said. Egypt had really messed him up all those years ago. He was always so afraid of getting close and what came after.

He nodded as he closed his eyes. His grip on the chair tightened, then Star Platinum shifted to embrace you. You let Star Platinum hug you, and you left a gentle kiss on his cheek in hopes that Jotaro would feel that, too.

“JoJo, come here,” you beckoned, patting the spot on the bed next to you. He sighed and released his grip on the chair, the color returning to his skin, and he defeatedly sat down beside you. You were now between him and Star Platinum.

You could tell there was so much that Jotaro wanted to say. His mind was racing but he was always horrible, he thought, at actually forming the words in a way that wouldn’t come across as harsh. But it was you, and you always understood him, so he decided to speak up. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, too.”

You thought of a joke - ‘visit me with Reimi, I guess’ - but you deemed it too inappropriate to say. You knew sometimes your more nonchalant sense of humor cheered him up, but now was not one of those times. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Jotaro kissed you with a stronger wave of passion than you initially anticipated. Jotaro was extremely protective of you, so in high stakes situations, he got tense even if he never showed it. It was like all of his emotions bottling up couldn’t help but pour over once he was alone with you, especially if he had been frightened.

The more vulnerable emotions usually were visible to you in the form of Star Platinum; as Jotaro kissed you and gripped at your hips with an incomparable ferocity, Star Platinum was gentle and soft with the way his hands ran up your back or over your breasts. It wasn’t long before you two ended up practically clawing at each other, desperate to simply discard of your clothing, forget about the events earlier and just be as close to one another as humanly possible.

You’d tease Jotaro by stroking Star Platinum’s cock so Jotaro could feel the phantom sensations, and eventually he guided one of your hands to his own cock so you were stroking them both at the same time. While your boyfriend was running his hands closer to your upper inner thighs and sucking at the spot where your neck and shoulder met (it was as if something almost feral was set off in him today by the threat of losing you to Kira), Star Platinum continued to gently caress your breasts and run his thumbs over your nipples in the way that had you yearning for more.

Ready for more of you, Jotaro laid back so his hips were on the edge of the bed but his feet were touching the ground. He was facing the mirror in the room, and Star Platinum was standing next to said mirror.

“Come here. Face the mirror,” Jotaro instructed; his voice was even deeper and huskier than usual. “Star needs you right now, too.”

You didn’t dare play bratty right now, and the idea of both Jotaro watching you and making you watch yourself was so dirty that it just made you even more wet with anticipation. You straddled your boyfriend and faced the mirror, and once you had sank onto his cock, he gripped tightly at your ass with his hands.

“Come here, Star, it’s okay,” you said once you found a steady rhythm on top of Jotaro. Star Platinum shifted his loincloth to reveal his cock, equally long and as thick as Jotaro’s. Star Platinum was tall enough to have you suck him off, so you opened your mouth for the Stand.

It was almost overwhelming; Star Platinum was fucking your face, very much in control, as Jotaro gripped at your ass and hips and controlled the pace at which you rode him. You trusted Jotaro with your life, and giving up yourself to him like this was something incredibly intimate for the two of you. It wasn’t long before you were coming on Jotaro.

“Hmph. Good girl,” he said as he thrust his hips more deeply into you. Star Platinum ran his fingers through your hair as you continued blowing him, and your moans from your orgasm only heightened the sensations for Star Platinum (and, by extension, Jotaro).

The contrast between Jotaro and Star never ceased to amaze you; you knew it was because Star Platinum was an extension of Jotaro and he was terrified of hurting you, but it still was so strange to see his Stand like this out of battle and being used as a vessel for Jotaro’s softer side.

By the time your third orgasm came around, you couldn’t hold them back anymore; it felt like a continuous release because you felt so full. Your head was spinning and you barely remembered why you and Jotaro were arguing in the first place.

At the feeling of your continuous orgasm on his cock, Jotaro couldn’t hold back much longer either. Both him and Star Platinum, being one in the same, came together. You felt Star Platinum’s cum shoot down your throat as Jotaro came inside you, his cock gently pulsing inside you as he filled you up.

When they both were done, Star Platinum picked you up and gently laid you down on the bed so you were lying beside Jotaro, and then laid on the other side of you so you were sandwiched between the two of them. Some of Jotaro’s cum had spilled out of you, but you were both feeling too wiped out and in the moment to even think about cleaning up yet.

Jotaro, as per usual, was a man of few words. He wasn’t the type to show his emotions. But your heart swelled as he kissed your forehead and pulled you closer in a rare moment of tenderness.

#jotaro x reader x star platinum #jotaro kujo #jotaro x reader #jotaro smut #jotaro kujo x reader #jjba smut #jjba fanfic #star platinum x reader

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prome-th3us · 3 years

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Runes for beginners: introduction

In this grimoire I'm going to go through runes and their meaning in a way that is accessible to everyone. I'm gonna make a post for every rune so it's gonna be a long serie. I hope you will find this useful and if there's something unclear or wrong, please let me know!

I decided to avoid runes magic because I just want to help to get to know the runes a little better. Before practicing magic, you have to understand what this powerful tool is.

Introduction

Runes are not only a writing system, but they were also used as a magical, divinatory and spiritual growth tool. Rune (norse: rún/rúnar) means "segret, mistery". The characters used to engrave the rune, symbol of a certain energy in this world, were called runstafas (runic sticks).

They are an oracle and we can ask them to guide us: they work better if our question is specific and detailed. The lecture of Runes sometimes is obscure: the petitioner must interpret the details and understand them. Runes give us a way to analize the path we are on and to understand one of his possible outcomes: the future isn't static, we can change it with everything we do.

each rune has a phonetic value and a name that identifies its function and meaning; then it has a very specific history behind it and is associated with a diety.

Historical origins

I'm not gonna say much about the historical origins of the Runes because there are so many different theories about them and we could write an entire book just about this topic.

This is what you have to know:

the ancient futhark comes from the alphabet used by the Celts of Lugano (leoponzi) which has Greek origin. The Greek alphabet would have been absorbed by the Etruscans in the 12th century BC. and then by the Celts of Lugano in the VII. From here, thanks to trade, it would have arrived in the far north, with the necessary changes.

The Greek alphabet influenced the Gothic one and then the Germanic peoples adapted it (we can see how the Gothic alphabet is actually similar to both Greek and Runic, then the Othala rune resembles the Greek Omega).

it originated from the Roman alphabet, given the many relationships that different peoples entertained.

Mythological origin

"I know that I hung

On the wind-blasted tree

All of nights nine,

Pierced by my spear

And given to Odin,

Myself sacrificed to myself

On that pole

Of which none know

Where its roots run.

No aid I received,

Not even a sip from the horn.

Peering down,

I took up the runes –

Screaming I grasped them –

Then I fell back from there."

from the Old Norse poem Hávamál.

In Norse mythology, it's Odin who brought the Runes to the other gods. He wanted to know everything and he was envy of the Norns, who already knew them. He went to the Well of urd, the home of Runes, and since they reveal themselves to any but those who prove themselves worthy of such fearful insights and abilities, Odin hung himself from a branch of Yggdrasil, pierced himself with his spear, and peered downward into the waters below. He forbade any of the other gods to grant him the slightest aid. He survived in this state, teetering on the precipice that separates the living from the dead, for no less than nine days and nights. At the end of the ninth night, he at last perceived shapes in the depths: the runes. He's also lost his eyes for the wisdom.

Other important concepts

First of all, to truly understand how runes were used, you have to know at least a little of Norse mythology (I will tell you some books and links in the last paragraph). Then you have to understand what Orlog and Wyrd mean.

Orlog

This is basically karma but without reincarnation. Every person is born completely responsible for everything they do in their life since the first second: positive actions bring positive results, bad actions bring bad results, even in the afterlife. Who did positive things will go to Valhalla (where the heroes and the people who died in battle go) or to Sessrumnir (the halls of Freya). Who doesn't die in an honorable way or who did bad thing will go to Helheimr (the realm of Hel, this means that even who died in a normal way and who had a normal life will go there) or to Nilfheimr (the world of ice and cold, where the Ice Giants live).

Basically we decide where we are going with every choice we make.

Wyrd

A giant cobweb that extends in space and time: each thread is made up of a different manifestation of energy and all together it constitutes the very fabric of the universe. Since we are born, we are in some part of this web so we are also part of it.

Wyrd and Orlog are intertwined: who does good things and has a good Orlog, he will be on a good thread of the web. Wyrd is the fabric of life as well, so the world will be influenced by the positive energy of the man and will give him back this energy.

If each strand is a different manifestation of energy, each type of energy must have a name: the runes. In runic divination, what we see is a reflection of the energies in and around us (or around the person we are divining for). When we want to modify the Orlog, the process is different: we use the Runes as a channel for the energies that we need. We can say that the practice related to the runes is of two types: passive (divination) and active (healing, protection, etc ...).

Aettir of Runes

In the ancient futhark, there are 24 runes divided in three aettir (sing. aett, sets) of 8 runes each. Every aett is dedicated to a different diety:

Aett of Freya. She is of the Vani lineage and is therefore linked to fertility and harvest. She was welcomed with her twin brother Freyr in Asgard at the end of the war between the Aesir and the Vanir (basically the "wae" between the Norse people and the invaders). She can use the Runes, so she's a goddess of magic but also of love, associated with death (she is the leader of the Valkyries) and sexuality. The runes in this aett are: ᚠ ᚢ ᚦ ᚨ ᚱ ᚲ ᚷ ᚹ.

Aett of Heimdall. Of the Aesir lineage, he is among other things the guardian god of Bifrost and Asgard: he has hearing and sight that reach everywhere. Following a spell of Odin, he was born of nine waves and for this reason he is called "son of the wave". The runes in this aett are: ᚺ ᚾ ᛁ ᛃ ᛇ ᛈ ᛉ ᛊ.

Aett of Tyr. Of the Aesir lineage, he is known as the "Father of Heaven". He sacrificed one of his hands to be able to bind Fenrir and is a god linked to justice, loyalty, heaven, defense, war and law. The runes in this aett are: ᛏ ᛒ ᛖ ᛗ ᛚ ᛜ ᛞ ᛟ.

Last things

Ok so for this first post it's everything! I will continue in the next posts to explore every single rune. I just wanted to suggest some links and books if you want to go deeper into the fascinating history of runes.

Here you can find an interesting article about everything I just said, with so many references and here they also give a list of good books (if you can't afford them you can download their pdf from this site)

Anyway if you want to dig into norse mythology you can read:

Poetic Edda

Prose Edda

Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman

Norse Mythology: A Guide to the Gods, Heroes, Rituals, and Beliefs by John Lindow

(other good books can be found here).

And of course, if you still didn't realize this, I fricking love the website Norse Mythology for Smart People, even tho everything I wrote in this post is from "Le Rune" by Marco Massignan (I couldn't find the English Translation sorry).

#runes #viking runes #ancient runes #witchblr #norse heathen #norse paganism #norse runes #pagan witch

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zevlors-tail · 4 years

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Rooftops

Pairing: ProHero!Deku x Reader

Description: Sometimes being a Hero isn’t just fighting villains and rescuing people from burning buildings; sometimes it’s battling demons and rescuing people from themselves instead.

Warnings: Suicidal reader, thoughts of suicide, attempted suicide? (reader doesn’t succeed), trauma bonding, mentions of bullying, little bit of touch starvation? Talks of therapy, decision to try therapy.

A/N: I guess you could say I needed to vent some heavy things. PLEASE do not read this if you are triggered by anything mentioned above. Also, I HC that Midoriya never would have gone through with it, but he might have at one point been in the reader’s position, and I wish they would expand on how what Katsuki said and did to him in middle school affected his life more. I will never be satisfied until we get a proper apology from Bakugou and the two of them sort out their feelings about it, bc you KNOW that had to create some trauma. So I guess this might be sort of a fix-it fic? Also, I’m sorry for the ending, it might be cringe, idk. I can’t help but add fluff to everything I write, apparently. I love Best Boi, what can I say?

You breathed in the cool night air as you leaned against the railing, fingers trembling slightly against the rusty metal. Everything seemed so surreal; the noisy traffic below, the people bustling down streets and alleyways, the dimmed apartment lights from the building across... What did any of it matter? In the grand scheme of things, you were just a small spec of the universe observing all these phenomenons, a waste of space taking up time that could belong to something or someone more useful than your sorry excuse of an existence. That’s what you thought, at least.

You leaned a little farther over and rested your chest against the bars of steel. Would anyone miss you if you were to just...disappear? If you dropped everything and left right now, would anyone care? Would anyone cry for your absence? These were questions you had asked yourself over and over again, and each time you had managed to convince yourself that maybe, just maybe, the answer was yes, someone would care. But each time the questions rolled around in your head, it got harder to convince yourself of that. You found doubts in every corner of your mind, in every crack and crevice of your brain that they could slink into. Quiet at first, but now as loud as a siren, they overwhelmed you and made you believe you were worthless. They beat you down, exhausted you, claimed your once happy spirit and soiled it with numbness and apathy. Those doubts were the reason you wholeheartedly believed that you no longer mattered to anyone.

They were also the reason you were twenty stories up in the air on the roof of your apartment building.

Steeling your nerves and taking a deep breath, you let everything sink in. This was what you were waiting for all these years. All of your life had lead up to this single moment; all of your past mistakes, all of your life decisions, all of the lost friends, your job, your family and their snide remarks, your short comings...and all the rest. It didn’t matter. Every time you blinked, every sneeze, every laugh, whether genuine or fake, didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, including you.

Nothing matters, and no one cares.

And with that final thought, you hoisted yourself up and over the railing, limbs heavy with a dull numbness as you planted your feet loosely on the other side. For a second you balanced yourself, arms outstretched behind you to grip on to the bars for one last fleeting sense of security. Just one more step. But even as you moved forward, you found that your hands seemed to tighten their grip on the steel, and suddenly you felt physical panic despite your mind telling you that this was what you really wanted. It seemed your body was defying your mind.

“I don’t think you want to do that.”

Startled, you stumbled back and tightened your hold on the rails until your knuckles turned white. Were you imagining things, or did you just hear a voice? And if so, who was it and what were they doing all the way up here? Whatever their business was though, it surely had nothing to do with you, right? So why were they meddling in your affairs when you just wanted to be left alone? The thought of it was just a little too much, and you found yourself snapping at whoever was behind you.

“Uh, yeah, I think I do.” It came out more spiteful than you meant it to sound. But then, that was just how you were these days...bitter and cold. All the more reason to end everything.

“Please, just come back over here to the other side of the railing. We can talk if you want, or I can just sit with you, or we can listen to music together if that would help?” The stranger’s voice was gentle and pleading, as if he was afraid to break you if he spoke too loud.

“Just leave me alone! Why do you care anyway?” You stole a glance behind you to get a good look at the person trying to talk you down. The first thing you noticed was the green hair, and then the pair of concerned emerald eyes reflecting back at you. Under those were a set of freckles, giving him an overall boyish look, and finally- his costume. You recognized Japan’s Number One Hero, Deku.

“Because I don’t want to see you get hurt...or worse.” His tone was solemn. “I’m sorry, but I can’t just leave you alone up here. Clearly you had one purpose for coming up here, and I’m not going to let you go through with it.”

For a moment, you felt your heart soar at the possibility that someone cared after all. But just as hope was about to take root and bloom within your chest, it seemed that your mind had other ideas to cut the poor blossom out. As fast as the feeling settled, it was gone, and you reminded yourself that this was his job; he was required to help anyone who he thought might be in trouble. It wasn’t like he really wanted to be up here talking to you.

“What the hell do you know about why I’m up here? And anyways...it’s your job to save people. You don’t have to pretend to care about me. It doesn’t matter if you’re the number one hero or not, you’re still going to forget about me some day or another. A week from now you won’t even think twice about me. I’m forgettable. I don’t matter...not really. So please just leave me be. You’re bothering me.” No matter how hard you tried to keep the anger in your voice, you couldn’t help how it faded with each passing second. It was tiring to keep feeling everything and nothing all at once. You wanted it all to just stop.

There was long moment of silence that passed between the two of you, which you took as a sign that you had been right about everything you had just said. Your anxieties and nerves were starting to get to you by then; you were about to really go through with it and had inched forward slightly when he decided to speak again.

“Once, someone told me to take a swan dive off the roof of my old school.” Your breath hitched as you stopped in your tracks. “I know what it’s like not to be wanted or needed by everyone around you. To feel like a failure, like there’s no hope left... Like you’re not worth saving. But even if you really think and believe all those things you said about yourself, just know that I care. And it’s not because it’s my job to, or because I’m a Pro Hero, or because I just happened to be in the area and saw you up here after my shift ended. It’s because at one point in my life, I could relate to where you are now.”

You were left without words for once as you stood there, wind whipping through your hair and eyes focused on nothing in particular. After the initial shock wore off, you finally turned around to face him. You searched his eyes for any trace of deception, anything to prove that maybe he was lying or just trying to get to you, but all you could find was sincere honesty. And Deku, upon seeing you turn around from the edge of the building, seemed to tense for a second before continuing.

“I climbed up to the top of the school roof that day and when I got up there, I just...stared down. All I could think about at the time was making the pain and the numbness go away. But then I thought of my mom’s face when she would hear the news...and I thought of how I would only be a statistic after that- a number, you know, like the ones I recorded every day in my notebook. But I didn’t want that. I had a name that I loved, a mother waiting for me at home, and a dream I was still holding on to. I realized what I really wanted was to prove everyone wrong, to still become the hero I wanted to be as a little boy. And even more than that, I just wanted the pain to stop. I think that’s what people truly want- just to feel better.” He gave you a small smile and offered a hand to you after that, and you swore his eyes were glistening a little if you looked close enough. “I would care if you were gone. I would think about it every day. I don’t even know your name, but your face is already engraved in my mind. I would have made the biggest mistake of my life had I ended things that day; look at where I am now! If I let someone else take away all their future opportunities and potential life experiences knowing that I could have stopped them, knowing that I didn’t offer them the support I desperately wanted when I was going through it, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

“...you mean that?” You couldn’t help the tremble in your voice.

“Every word. Please, just come back over to this side and talk to me. Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours. I promise I’ll do my best to help however I can.”

Something pulled at your heartstrings as you listened to him. He had put into words everything you had been feeling these past few months, everything you wanted to express but just couldn’t. Tentatively, you reached out a hand to meet his, and he wasted no time as he wrapped his other arm around your waist and hoisted you back over the railing towards safety and into his arms.

“Oh thank god,” he breathed out. His arm was still wound tight around your waist as he pulled you flush to him and walked you backwards. When the two of you reached the wall of the entryway to the rooftop, he stopped and slid down to the floor with you, a heavy sigh of relief escaping his lips. “Please don’t ever scare me like that again.” You blinked back tears as you leaned into Deku’s tight hug, your arms coming up to wrap around him as well. You couldn’t remember the last time someone had been so loving and caring with you or the last time you had been hugged like this.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you. I’m here.”

That was all it took for the dam inside of you to burst.

Hot tears finally spilled over and soaked Deku’s costume as all the emotions you had been suppressing came back full force. You hid your face in his shirt to try and stifle your cries as much as you could, but it was no use. There was no hiding the turmoil in your soul; all you could do was endure the sadness and frustration while he held you and comforted you. Slowly the reality of the situation started to sink in, and the realization that you almost took your own life hit you full force.

“I...I almost-!” You didn’t have the strength to finish your sentence as you sobbed harder and shook in the hero’s arms. He eventually shifted the two of you around to a more comfortable position and rubbed circles on your shoulder soothingly while you cried, a look of understanding and empathy in his eyes.

“But you didn’t. And you know what that tells me? That despite all those lies you’re telling yourself, there’s still a part of you left that wants to live. There’s still a part of you, no matter how small, that’s holding on to hope that things will get better. Find that feeling deep down inside you, grasp it, and never let go of it. You deserve to exist here. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to wake up each day and live and enjoy life. And I know you probably don’t feel that way right now, but believe me when I say that it’s the truth.” A comfortable silence settled between the two of you as you took a moment to contemplate his words.

“You said we could talk if I wanted to...” you sniffled.

“Sure, we can talk. It doesn’t even have to be about anything in particular. Whatever you want to talk about, I’ll listen.”

So you told him everything. You poured your heart out to someone who was no more than a stranger to you, even if you recognized his face because it was plastered on every poster and broadcasted on every T.V. Even if you knew who Deku was, the person behind the mask was someone else entirely, and it brought a sense of comfort to you to know that a real person was listening to your troubles and caring about them. For once, someone was taking the time to make you a priority, and that was not something you were used to.

“I’m sorry, you’re probably tired of listening to me by now. I can’t believe I dumped all of that on y-” you tried to apologize, but he shook his head and cut you off before you could finish.

“Don’t be. I offered, didn’t I? I genuinely want to hear about what’s troubling you. Everyone deserves to be listened to, especially when they’re hurting. You’re important, and what you have to say is also important. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.”

You blinked up at him with wide eyes. How was he so good at this? A thought crossed your mind then, and you wondered for a brief moment if...had anyone ever listened to him? He had taken the time to calm you down and make you feel important by listening wholeheartedly to everything you had to say. The least you could do was return the favor, right?

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a really good listener?” you asked, a small but sincere smile on your face.

“Yes, actually. Plenty of times, but I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing it. It just means I’m succeeding at making others feel important, which is what I aim to do, so thank you for that.” He stared up at the night sky, his eyes reflecting the sparkling stars above. They were...so full of life. You found that fact inspiring.

There was a small pause before you asked him another question, hesitance evident in your voice. “Have you...told anyone? About what you said to me earlier, I mean.” It came out more awkward than you intended it to, and he seemed confused about what you were trying to ask.

“About what I said to you earlier?”

“Y-You know, the...rooftop...” you trailed off, not wanting to pry if he didn’t want to talk about it after all. “I’m so sorry, I just assumed since you mentioned it earlier that maybe you wanted to talk about it or something- Ah, I’m making things worse, I’m really sorry!” You ran your hands through your hair, anxiety getting the better of you and making your heart race. Deku shifted slightly beside you but kept his arm around your shoulders, a look of understanding coming over him.

“Oh, that?” He gave a small airy laugh. “While I appreciate the concern, I have a really great therapist. It’s kind of a requirement for Pros; we deal with a lot on the job.”

“...oh.” Oh. Oh. You weren’t sure what you were expecting, but certainly not...that. “Again, I’m sorry if I pried,” you apologized one last time. At the sound of your third ‘I’m sorry’, Deku looked over at you thoughtfully.

“You know, I used to apologize a lot too. Actually, my therapist was the one who got me to kick the bad habit. Speaking of which...” He reached into one of the red pouches on his costume belt and produced a single card between his index and middle finger, the lamination of it emitting a dim glare as he held it out to you. “I think you could really benefit from therapy. I’m not saying that to be rude or anything-!” His face flushed as he tried to explain himself; he didn’t want you to feel like he was dismissing you or that he wasn’t concerned with your issues. “I swear! I just...really think you could use another person in your corner right now. They’re super nice, I promise! I’ll even help you set up an appointment if you want.”

You shrunk a little at the idea of seeing a therapist, but took the card anyway. The writing on the little piece of plastic stared back at you menacingly, an uncomfortable feeling settling in your gut.

Dr. T/N T/L/N Deku Agency Specialist in Psychology Phone: 800-888-8880 Email (Mon-Fri): T/nT/l/[email protected] Office Hours: Mon-Sat, 9am-5pm

As if he could read your turbulent mind, Deku pulled you closer and rested his head against yours. “I know talking to someone else about your problems seems scary at first, but it really helps. If you keep everything bottled up, then those feelings and problems don’t have anywhere to go, and they’ll eat you up on the inside. Therapy gives you a safe way of letting those feelings out and sorting through problems in healthy ways. Of course it’s ultimately your choice, and everybody’s experience differs...but it did help me.”

You considered everything he said, including his offer to help schedule an appointment. If nothing else, you could really use another friend... You pocketed the card and decided to worry about it later; exhaustion was starting to settle in by now, and the air only seemed to get colder by the minute. It had to be past midnight by now.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done. It means a lot to me, truly. I’ll...think about the therapist.”

“I’m glad to hear that. But in the mean time, can I see your phone?” The question caught you off guard and forced you back to the reality of where you were, and what you’d planned to do earlier.

“Uh, well...” you started, “I left it in my apartment. I didn’t think I’d need it up here since... Anyway, I don’t have it on me.” You stared off to the side, not wanting to talk about the subject any longer.

“Do you live around here?”

“Yeah, actually, I live in this apartment building.”

“Oh! Then, I’ll walk with you back to your apartment, since it’s getting kind of cold now. But first...” He whipped out his own phone, opening the contacts app and clicking on the ‘Create New Contact’ option. “What’s your phone number?”

“My phone number?” You stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Yeah, so I can text you and call you. I’d like to be friends, if that’s okay?” He gave you a shy smile with a faint blush, and it was hard not to burst into tears again.

A friend. You had made a new friend. One that cared about you, that wanted to make sure you were okay, that would put in time and effort to talk to you and see you. You could hardly believe it.

“Really?”

“Of course! Sooo, can I have it, then? Oh, and I guess I’ll need your name at some point too, huh?” he teased, a playful glint in his eyes.

“It’s Y/N,” you stated happily.

You immediately gave your number to him, and then the two of you stood to go back inside. He helped you up and held the door open for you, and from there you took the stairs back to your apartment. You made small talk on the way back, and things finally started to feel normal to you for once. But as soon as you turned down the hall that led to your apartment door, you started to feel it; that familiar sinking feeling was creeping in, apathy and the sense of nothingness overwhelming you again. The night was finally coming to an end. You would go back to your apartment, and things would go back to normal, and Deku would probably forget that you even existed. He said he would text, but would he really? He was so busy with hero work, and you half expected things to go back to the way they would be. What if nothing changed? What if you went back to feeling numb? What if everything that happened tonight didn’t really matter? What would you do?

“Whoah, Y/N, slow down. Everything’s gonna be alright.”

Huh? Shit! Had you said all that out loud?

You panicked as you stared at your door. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t-”

“Hey, look at me.” He cupped your face between his hands, tilting your head up to meet his concerned gaze. “Everything will be okay. But these kinds of problems don’t just disappear over night, they need time, and sometimes some outside help from others. I promise to keep in touch with you. I want to make sure you’re okay, and I’d like to get to know you better too. Maybe I can introduce you to my friends? They’re really great people, and they would make you feel right at home. But for now, let’s just focus on one thing, okay? Let’s get you settled back into your apartment for the night.” He ruffled the top of your head softly, and while others might have taken the gesture as offensive or belittling, you were just glad to have felt his warm touch.

“Okay,” you agreed quietly, and you twisted the handle to the door, which you remembered you had left unlocked.

The small apartment greeted you with familiar darkness, that is, until Deku flipped your light switch and the few lamps you had lit up the living room. He let himself in and shut the door behind the two of you, earning a surprised look from you and giving you an apologetic look of his own. “I don’t mean to intrude...I just...” He looked like he was choking over his own words. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to let you be alone right now...but if you want me to leave, then-”

“I don’t want to be alone either,” you were quick to cut him off. You had wanted to invite him to stay, but you also didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. However, it seemed like he beat you to the punch. “I don’t mind you staying. Besides, it’s late, and you look tired. The couch pulls out into a bed; let me get you some extra blankets.”

You tried your best to be hospitable, even with him insisting that you didn’t need to and that he could just crash in the comfy clothes he wore under his costume. You didn’t have any extra clothes for him, but at least you could give him a pillow and a blanket. As you went to fetch those, you also grabbed your phone from your desk and dropped it next to him on the makeshift bed. He took the liberty of entering his phone number and his real name into your contacts before passing it back.

“No way, you like All Might too?” he asked as you handed him the themed blanket. “This is the same exact blanket I have at home!” A wide grin came over him as he cuddled into it.

His enthusiasm made you laugh a little as you tossed him the pillow. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.” You started to walk away to your bedroom, and as you were about to turn the lights out, he stopped you.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Did you need something?”

He peeked his head over the edge of the couch. “I just realized I never gave you my name. You can call me Izuku, if you want. Since, we’re friends now, and all.”

“Izuku,” you echoed, “I’m really glad I met you.” And you meant it.

“Yeah, me too.” A moment of silence. “That I met you, I mean! I’m glad I met you too!”

You smiled and turned the lights out. “I’m gonna head to bed.” You hesitated a bit to ask him the question burning at the back of your mind, but your anxiety forced you to ask anyway, the fear of not knowing eating at you. “Will you still be here tomorrow morning?”

He answered you right away and gave you a reassuring look. “I’m off work tomorrow, and I don’t have any plans, so I won’t be going anywhere unless you want me to.”

“Okay. Goodnight, Izuku.”

“Sweet dreams, Y/N.”

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding for so long, and with that, you made your way to your bedroom and changed into your favorite pajamas. The card that Izuku had given you earlier dropped to the floor while you were changing, and you picked it up carefully before reading it over again. Maybe...it was worth a shot. You had a lot you were dealing with, and the idea that you could talk to someone about it without being judged or made fun of almost sounded too good to be true. Sure, you had Izuku now, but you knew realistically he wasn’t going to be around all the time. You were tired of feeling like you were always alone, tired of feeling everything and nothing all at once, tired in general. It was all so exhausting. And he had said the therapist was nice...

You crawled into bed with your phone and pulled the covers over yourself. The home screen lit up the room as you opened your contacts and scrolled, looking for one name in particular. You tapped on his name and the familiar conversation screen appeared, the little vertical line blinking at you repeatedly as you worked up the courage to type out your message. Finally, your fingers flew across the keys, and you hit send before you could think twice about it.

Y/N: I think I want to schedule an appointment with the therapist. Can you help? 1:34am

It didn’t take long for you to get a response.

Izuku: Of course. I can contact them tomorrow, if you’d like? 1:34am

Y/N: I’d like that a lot. Thank you, Izuku. 1:35am

Izuku: Are you alright? If you need anything, come get me. I won’t mind. 1:35am

Y/N: I really appreciate that. I’m doing a little better. I’ll let you know if I need something. 1:35am

Izuku: Promise? 1:35am

Y/N: I promise. 1:36am

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