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takalzuoom · 2 years

Note

Hello! I hope you're having a nice day! I wanted to request savanaclaw with a bear beastman s/o? They have a huge appetite, is cuddly, and is almost as lazy as Leona.

Gasp? I’m doing requests again?? ik ik this is really really late, (and this was one of my more recent ones lol)

but there’s no time like the present!

𝐒𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐰 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐬/𝐨!

𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐚

black bear

Oh god, they’re everywhere, from swamps to desserts, even to fucking jungles. You don't realize how prominent bears are until you research em. They also come in other colors?? Which is so weird to hear)

As much as I like to say Leona curls up into your bigger stature when you sleep, he doesn't, sorry babes 🤕

But oh my god, bears are adorable, like ah

Also, bears are (obviously) taller than lions… so except for an obvious height difference 🫦

And unfortunately… it's by a lot… Leona is 185cm / 6'0 so you’d be 200cm and 6’3 😺

I don’t make the laws, I only enforce them 😋

People don’t think you're a beast man, yeah I know, crazy right? Mainly because of your short ears and tails (Like how I found out Ruggie had a tail from one of his cards)

And since a lot of people think you won the genetic lottery, they just assume that the rising atmosphere is because you’re so tall and braully

But Leona knew, oh god he knew the moment you entered Savanahclaw

Anyways, yall are like night and day. I mean, yeah, you're a bit sluggish, and a little slow, more of a gentle giant than a force of nature compared to Leona. Especially with his cold and calculating personality.

Yesh

But it surprisingly goes together??

No, you won't be able to pry Leona out of bed, but he can convince you to join him 😼🤭 (The most he’s ever done is offer you the spot with the most sun, and who are you willing to ignore an offer from the Leona Kingscholar)

Y/n: Leona get up, we gotta go to Trein’s class

Leona: And deal with his not-so-pop quiz, I don't think so. It'd be better for your health to take a nap, with me, in the sun. What’dya say

Y/n :

If Leona ever loses you- what am I talking about, you're the tallest beast man/student in the school, which he likes- loves to rub in Malleus’ face

Leona: Bet those horns are trying to concentrate on something

Malleus: Interesting, cause I believe that ego of yours is compensating for something as well

Ladies ladies, please!

Even though you're more easygoing compared to Leona, you are still a bear beast man

Yes, you are a big cuddle bug and love hanging out with your friends/boyfriend… But my guy, you’re a fucking behemoth. So, unfortunately, you're gonna have some issues, like when people scurry away in fear whenever you're present

Or dodge your ‘bear hugs’ matrix style because of your natural strength

But that’s okay! Cause you’ve made it a game out of your friends to play ‘hide and go squeeze!’. They go about their daily life in constant fear of being ‘found’ by you… And boy oh boy do you get excited when you spot one.

Floyd loves you

Though, there are some.... altercations.. about your reasonings on why you like squeezing the soul out of your friends

Running full force with a beaming grin on your face with arms wide open, your long legs practically disappearing under you with how fast you were. Your friend's screams of horror echo through the historic buildings of NRC.

Obviously, Leona hears the shrills of your friends.

He smirks ‘better them than me’

There will be some barriers to take care of. Like Leona’s pride, and his ‘no PDA rule’ …

Bitch 🙄

As previously stated, I would love to write about you encasing Leona in your big beefy arms as you lounge on his bed with the sun warming you both…

I mean you could try, just expect him to get VIOLENT

Or at least do it begrudgingly.

And thus sparks your mission of getting him used to you

Now having a policy of not 1, not 2, not even3 or 4, but 5! Hugs per day!

And if you don't meet that quota with your friends… well.. 😈

“Hug me and you’ll regret it”

You're bound to at least get one hug from him!

Right?

While you are more energetic than Leona; constantly chasing your friends around campus like Michael Meyers, you sometimes spend hours on end just lounging.

Cause you, unfortunately, have a social battery that requires you to spend hours, and sometimes days alone. When your battery dies, it dies, and you won't budge.

Becoming lazier than your boyfriend, you’ll just barge into his room, honey pot plushie in arm, and join him in bed. When he tries to wake you up... he can’t, cause you’re out cold

Of course, this had prompted some talks with Leona, unfortunately for him (fortunately for you) you were in your mood and decided that you didn't care

Tbh, you're like an extremely toned-down Floyd

My guy, he loves you so much, he just doesn’t know how to show it 🥺

I’m lying, he buys you premium food and will dangle it over your head.

If you aren’t terrorizing your friends or napping, you're munching 😼

Oh, you want that new black pasta with wagyu meatballs? Make Ruggie leave him alone

Ooooh, you want a bag of Doritos? Then deal with Ruggie

OOoooo you want this half-eaten lollipop he found on the field? Skip class and nap

*double takes*

You are a human vacuum with an enabler

For my obey me fans, think of Beel

If Crewel takes away your emergency snacks, you're just pulling out more, if Trein confiscates those, you're simply pulling a bag of chips from your blazer???

Doesn’t help that your unique magic is honey pot. Allowing you to pull out what you want from any pocket/item you can place things in

Ruggie: Man I’m starved… 👀

*Y/n pulling out a box of donuts from the trash*: Well I hope you have an appetite

Y/n : *opens box*

Y/n: For nothing 🫵😼

you end up giving him another box cause you felt bad

You’re in the culinary club, sorry 🫤

Like yeah, you love having fun and physical activities and all… but free food 🤨

Delicious free food

But even if the food isn't all that great, food is food so you can't complain. And since you're the combined size of Riddle and Lilia, you need a lot

And you’re always bringing your food to Savanaclaw where you always feast with Ruggie. Sometimes when you're proud of your latest work, you’ll bring it to Leona to taste test

“Mid” This is the most delicious shit he's ever had-

Fine. If he can’t appreciate it then you’ll just bring it to Ruggie-

Leona: *Pulls out a slice of cake* Then you’ll miss out on dessert

Leona knowing that he got you to stay with him without actually having to put any effort / be vulnerable: 😼

You: 😦

I think that your tone shifts around Leona like with your friends you’re more outgoing. With Leona you’re calmer, not forcing yourself out there to not appear as the big bad bear you're implied to be.

But just you.

The good thing about Leona is that he doesn't care who you are (except if you're in Diasomnia) or what status you have in society. Cause if he likes you, he likes you

I think yall are cute, and many people don't see how you guys are even associated, let alone dating.

𝐑𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐞

Also a black bear!

I know I didn’t go too into detail about your appearance in Leona’s, but let's be real, he'll use it to scare Ruggie / Malleus away

But Ruggie on the other hand….😺

Boy oh boy does he have fun scaring the shit out of people with it (Whilst you -pretend to- remain oblivious to it all)

For example, someone cut Ruggie in line for food, already seeing their grubby hands reach for Leona's lunch.

Ruggie has two options.

He can of course use his UM

2. confront them

what you didn't know is that there’s a secret third option!

Work smarter, not harder! Is his motto for a reason. So he doesn't see the harm in having you (temporarily) go in front of him. tap them on the shoulder leering down at them.

Cleanup on aisle 3🤭

Yeah you're also tall asf

Though something I want to get out of the way is that male hyenas are more submissive to female hyenas… however

You're a bear, and as far as I'm aware, you're not female

But you're taller than him, so I think you guys have a pretty equal relationship.

As long as you're happy, he can't complain. And as long as he's happy, you are too.

The favoritism is awful.

Like… lawd 🪑🧍🏻

If you cause trouble in the dorm all Ruggie's gonna do is groan, complaining how you're making his job harder than it needs to be

That's it.

But if it’s someone else, he gets so annoyed, like passive-aggressive towards them for days on end

Like tripping, ignoring, glaring- basically the whole 9 yards.

And if someone blames you or points out favoritism?

Leona gets involved cause they’re just causing so much trouble now! Constantly spilling things, causing fights, and bringing down the dorm's average

Sigh, if only they kept their trap shut, oh well!

The more I think about your and Ruggie’s relationship, the more I think about bees

Ruggie will do anything for you cause you're just so sexy

But, it’s an equal exchange. If he does something for you, you gotta do smthn for him

-Like crush him with your thighs-

Be careful, cause he would do anything you wanted (within his power) only to ask for smthn outlandish, (I’m thinking sexy time stuff)

Okay okay, he’ll ask you to take care of some heavy lifting around to dorm, how you react is up to you cause he’s your sweet whittle bf..

now let's see those muscles -

Fuck you, Ruggie likes em thick

Where he’s from food is scarce, so even now he likes someone with a little meat on their bones.

Something about the way your tummy peaks through your shirt as your snoozing away just makes him want to bite you

You're taller than him. There's more of you to love!

Ik I’ve been making him thirst the whole time, but that's his doing, not mine.

He values your quality time together, which isn't very often.

When all is peaceful within the dorm and Leona isn’t man-babying it up, he's immediately running towards you for an impromptu hang out

Okay, there's something called Ruggie bucks. Hang with me here

The way it started was when he started charging you ‘Ruggie bucks’ for each food run

Ofc you never heard of that, so you had to pay actual money for them

He doesn't like to exploit you like that, but you know he loves you for you and not your money and valuables.. right?

Even so, the transactions begun

For every food/errand run, homework completion, and excuse on why you weren't in class, you had to cough it up

Luckily he gave you 50, but now you had to start spending wisely cause you were running low…

“Eh? You don't got enough Ruggie bucks? Hmm, that is a problem…” He thoughtfully said hand scratching his chin as he looked out into the distance

Before you could even speak, a grin stretched across his face “Well, it seems like I’ve saved enough, and you're now technically indebted to me…so” he drawled out

“So?”

“You have to do something for me”

Oh brother

You groaned, Ruggie’s laugh echoing as your brain wrecked itself for ideas on what Ruggie was planning

“15 Ruggie bucks for 2 hours of cuddle time”

… What?

Ladies n gents, that's how you request affection from your partner without outwardly saying your touch starved, thank you, n' good night!

But honestly, this is a win for you

This is canon, suck my dick

𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤

A polar bear!

Okay- every mc is taller than their boyfriend 🤭

Jack is 192? (6’3?) Sucks cause you’re 205 cm (6’6) 😎

And like how 5’7 seems different on a guy and a girl, but you're still taller

Oh my god. Like Leona yall are night and day. you exude friendliness and Jack exudes emo wolf man.

I believe that you two met before NRC, not like with Vil but you two were neighbors.

He and his younger brother (more to come later) were out playing in the snow when he tripped!!

Jack, worried like how a big brother should be quickly went over to help (and to destroy the ice block that harmed his brother >:(

As Jack was about to reach him, the ice block starts rising, snow trickling off and disappearing into the holes it created in the already snow-laid ground. Jack could no longer see his brother as there was an ice wall in the way.

Alarm bells rang erractily in Jack’s head as his ears tensed up. He tried running faster, but his legs were too short to run efficiently in the snow

“Y-“

“Aww you woke me from my nap,” the ice block said

Legs tripping from shock, Jack landed face-first into the snow, his ears twitching from the sudden coldness.

As he lay there only one thing was running through his mind… ‘did that ice just talk?’

Though they were in a snow pocket, he was able to pick up the sounds of muffled voices.

Yep, it did

Ladies and gentlemen that's how I met your husband

But from then on you wouldn't leave him alone. Constantly there to play with him and his sibling(s)

At first, it was begrudgingly, or more like he was watching out for his siblings not sure if you were a danger or not. By the looks of your tall, slightly pudgy exterior and white ears, you're a polar bear. He thinks, cause you certainly are lazy

And that never stopped. Even at NRC

I like to think that you guys aren’t dating yet, but had a mutual pining for each other ever since you were little.

Wolves mate for life, so when he revealed his crush to his mom at the fine age of 13, she made a huge emphasis to make sure you're the one

So that's what he's been doing, making sure.

For 3 years…

Yeah...

Remember how I said Jack was a lone wolf? Well, it’s usually him alone or you trailing behind. The first years joining later on as you two were dragged into the group

They were fine with Jack, as there were some people around his height in their respective dorms… but you? You were in another ballpark. 3 inches does not seem a lot, but when you're tall every inch counts *cue Epel clenching his fist*

Oh yeah, Epel keeps on staring at you for whatever reason… and Jack does not approve of it and immediately asks if you've noticed it

“Huh? Oh, yeah I have, but I don't mind since he’s kinda cute” you hummed, stretching your arms as you muttered something about an afternoon nap. But Jack didn’t like how easily you said ‘ Epel was cute’.

Jealously jealously

Leaving to ask Epel, you couldn't help the small chuckle leave your lips.

“Oh y/n? Yeah, I really admire them for their strength and for how tall they are…”

Mhmmm

Now Jack may be a little naïve, but he wasn't stupid so he knows nothing's going on between you two and knows Epel wouldn’t try anything (if he wasn't stupid)

Mission success!

Jack tried to keep you happy, cause wolves are and were ahead of the times. Valuing their partners equally no matter who they are

And as long as you're happy, he’s happy.

You couldn't do anything wrong in his eyes. Come in with mud dripping all over the floor, scratches littering your skin as another, smaller member of savannah claw comes in looking like he just got mauled by a bear

He’ll lightly scowl you while he’s just so passive-aggressive… no. While he's just so aggressive towards the other guy, even if it’s an upper-class man.

You don’t even have to shed some crocodile tears to get out of trouble. Though when Ruggie comes along, or Leona...

They don’t care, just stop causing trouble.

If you thought that did anything to improve your relationship with the wolf... you were wrong

Still dancing around each other in a love tango, everyone could tell Jack was getting more and more exhausted, from trying to convince you to join some kind of sports team, to stop napping all the time - and spend time with him :( - or to not miss class

And with you being the oaf you are, just turned around and shooed him away

At least once I see Jack trying to drag you out of bed. Ik ik ooc of him but he was tired of being ignored, plus you had classes to do and as your best friend it was his duty to make sure you were taking advantage of the education you were given (and to make sure he kept his promise to your mom to score mom points!)

So he did the only thing he could, brute force

Let’s say it sounded… quite misleading… and Ruggie wouldn't look him in the eye for a while

But back on track, he would try to get you to join a sports team as you have such ‘raw potential (as Vargas puts it) that it would be a disservice to both you and the school if you didn't.

Plus he was getting kind of sad seeing Vargas so… depressed

Jack swore he saw his muscles deflate

But eventually, you did join a club!

The cooking club!…

Okay yeah no you're forced into a sports club cause Vargas was going to deduct points from you

He has you join volleyball! (Sorry guys but I really like volleyball, sue me)

And Jack is a man of honor, so he doesn’t attend any of your games, but at that point, he gets tired of all the whispers around you about your uniform. With the constant bugging from Ace, decided to see what that was all about

He wouldn't lie and say you weren't on the heavier side, after all, you are a polar bear. You can get into all the different things about biology.

But mama mia you were thick and ripped. Sure you a little pudge but that only meant you were well fed and he's glad to see his friends so healthy! 🤭

Just image Jack twitching/ scowling every time he calls you a friend

But he ends up going to your game and enjoys it! you play middle blocker and you're just stopping these skinny white boys with ease. It’s hilarious. Had a proud smirk every time you would block a spike, or hell, even spike the ball so hard he swore it made an indent

He was wondering if you even broke a sweat

But by the end you run over and gladly encase him in a hug 🤭 His face may be scowling, but his tail is wagging - which he hopes you don't see-

You both leave together, going to Sam's shop for a cute little snack. Though Jack followed you rather than stood next to you to make sure no creeps would peep

Respectful king

Some part of me thinks Jack likes things the way they are, not wanting to ruin your relationship

But he can't stop the way he stares at the back of your head silently when you're talking so animated about volleyball (you didn't even want to take part of)

He wouldn't admit it to himself, but he would gladly listen to you babble about your hobbies, interests, and thoughts any day of the week.

Though, he could hear your chatters turn to mush as you spun around, your signature aloof grin on your face as you stared at him

“You should join the team!”

Now that stopped him in his tracks. And like Christmas morning everything erupted to sound again

“…Huh?”

“The volleyball team! You’d be amazing at it! You’re tall, fast, smart, and importantly: strong” you agreed with yourself.

“Plus”

Like a snake, you slithered, arms around his shoulders as you pressed against his back

“We could spend more time together”

He stiffened, ears and tail at alert as he knew you could feel his rapid heart pound against his rib cage.

“Can’t” was all he could muster out, breaking from your evil clutches

“ ‘M already a part of the track and field club”

He turned to face your pouting face

“And besides” he smirked “I’d rather watch you”

I know this was more of a best friend kind of thing rather than relationship headcanons, but suck my dick 🫵😶

i feel like this whole post was just ooc stuff

#jack x reader #jack howl x reader #leona x reader #leona kingscholar #ruggie x reader #ruggie bucchi #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #savanaclaw #twisted wonderland savanaclaw #leona kingscholar x reader #ruggie bucci x reader #takalzuoom🌊#savanaclaw x reader

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newsies-are-the-new-best-thing · 6 months

Text

A little WIP I have....

..........................

The evening air is hiding an aching cold beneath the sweet smell of rotting leaves. Davey breathes in the changing season, lets himself get lost in intoxicating rush that autumn seems to seep into him. It whispers of warm cider and hot chocolate, late nights by the dying fire with Sarah whispering secrets to each other, and snowball fights in the alleyway after school. But this year is different, this year is bound to be better. Because he’s finally himself, in most sense anyway, dressed and living as he wants.

The cold weather may cause some issues to that though. As of right now Davey only has two sets of clothes both intended for warm weather. And there is no way he can wear what he wore last winter, with his grow spurt last spring and the nausea that idea hurls up inside his gut. He knows his father will take him to the tailor soon as his father had said a week ago when he broke out his wool jacket and handed Davey his old threadbare one with a smile and promise of getting him something better. Davey won’t admit it easily but that action has been branded into his soul despite how ill-fitting and thin the jacket is. He pulls it closer around himself.

Despite his father’s thrilling promise, Davey still wants to buy something for himself. He wants to draw himself tall, look the salesperson in the eye, and hand over his money for something distinctly boyish.

This idle thought dances around his mind while his feet trace the familiar streets towards the bowery, toward his friends. The evenings are getting shorter, darker, and by the time he reaches the newsie boarding house night has settled deep into the grooves of the city. Bright lights and warmth radiate in cheerful waves from the house and Davey hurries inside. The place is crowded with kids, some laughing, some fighting, all way to ridiculously happy to see him. Embarrassment shifts inside him as a blush rises to his cheeks. Davey waves and greets them, not understanding why they like him so much. Sure, he helped when they went on strike and hasn’t gone out of his way to hurt them but…. Davey wonders if that’s enough to earn their trust and admiration.

He ends up finding Jack, Kathrine, and Crutchie at the back of the house in their usual room with the fireplace and old sofas, talking animatedly amongst themselves.

“…And that’s why I’m entirely sure all horses are out for my blood-”

“Davey!” Jack cheers from where he’s on the sofa leaning heavily against Crutchie. He’s taken to calling Davey by his name instead of ‘Mouth’ more often after the strike happened and Davey supposes Jack’s trying to adjust for Kathrine and Sarah’s presence.

“-oh Davey, how are you?” Kathrine asks, looking up at him from where she’s sprawled on the other dingy sofa, smiling and waving him over.

“Hey, I’m doing well, Les and Sarah too,” he matches her smile and slides into the seat beside her, “what’ve you done to offend horse-kind?” he asks, when he sees the intrigued expressions upon the others’ face.

“Oh-” she flips a hand dismissively, “you know how offended they can get. You happen to eat some of their grain one time-”

“you said it was three times kat-” Crutchie interjects.

“one, three, six times, who’s counting?”

“Obviously the horses are” Davey says, laughing as Kathrine scowls and angles a swift kick in his direction which he barely doges.

“Kathrine,” Jack says in a very serious tone and they all turn to stare at him, “I want’s you to know that I’m grievously offended on behalfa all the horses.”

Kathrine takes to using both hands to display very rude and very graphic gestures that Race is sure to have shown her, in Jack’s direction.

“Where’s Race at?” Davey asks, usually the boy would be laughing hysterically at Kathrine’s story or settling another bet with one of them.

Crutchie’s gleeful smile at his question doesn’t bode well for any of them.

“He’s out with Brooklyn, they’s taking him on a tour of the borough” Crutchie delightedly answers and Jack glares into the blazing fire, scowling. “Spot promised to show him all the best sellin’ spots. He probably won’t be back ‘til tomorrow since it’s so dark already.”

Jack groans and glares at the fireplace harder.

“Oh Jack, don’t be like that,” Kathrine says, sweet façade constructed in mere seconds.

Davey doesn’t entirely know how to feel about that answer. On the one hand he’s elated that Spot has let Race into that part of his life and Race is entirely unbothered by it, but he also can’t shake the slight jealousy that Jack is bound to be feeling. Race is spending more and more time in Brooklyn. It seems that Davey never gets to see him, with the boy constantly across the bridge and with school ending with the day he can’t even try and cross into Brooklyn to meet the other.

“I’m happy that Spot’s finally letting him into Brooklyn.” Davey offers after a moment.

“That’s not the only thing he’s letting Race into-” Crutchie whispers to Katherine and Davey hears Albert snicker from where he lounges in the doorway, carving a piece of wood into what is most likely going to be a weapon, with a small knife.

If the logs in the fireplace weren’t already burning Jack’s glower would have set them ablaze.

“Mouth,” Jack says, fixing Davey with his absolute attention and ignoring the way Crutchie and Kathrine are giggling. “How’s busy is Sarah? Kathrine was askin’ me if you’d said anythin’.”

Davey glances at Kathrine who’s glaring sharply at Jack and blushing fiercely.

Davey smile widens, Sarah had confessed to him one sleepless night in late august when it was too hot and sticky to even think about going to bed. They had been out on the fire escape, a blanket laid beneath them. tucked together like they had done throughout their lives. They were taking sips of a secret bottle of whiskey and sharing things they would never dare say aloud in daylight.

“How- how did you know you were- were a boy?” Sarah had whispered, hands gripping the glass bottle tightly.

“I… I don’t know it was- is, it’s something in deep in my chest, like an ache or splinter that only lessens when I’m seen as a boy. Being a girl for so long I… I always felt wrong but I could ignore the ache most days.” Davey’s confesses, lips loosened from the alcohol and starlight.

“And then I started becoming a woman and-“ Davey had swallowed the lump of emotions that formed and continued, “and I felt, everything felt, so much more. And the ache turned into a stabbing pain, but I didn’t know, for a while, what it meant. I knew I was different but I didn’t know until I really thought about everything, all the moments through my life.”

Sarah had nodded and looked away from him, worrying her lip between her teeth.

“I had- I don’t like boys.” She whispered.

“like?”

“Love, I don’t love boys,”

Davey nodded.

......................

#davey jacobs #trans david jacobs #newsies #jack kelly #newsies fanfiction #crutchie morris #kathrine plummer #sarah jacobs #mine

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dessarious · 1 year

Text

Balancing Dynamics Pt9

Prologue Beginning Previous

"I have no wish to discuss it. What’s done is done."

"Gen-" Mari flinched when Gen glared at her.

"No. This is not something for you to stick your nose in." Whatever her issue with Luka was, it must be bad. She’d never snapped at any of them. The only time Mari had seen her this upset was when Hawkmoth said he Akumatized Adrien’s heart.

"Don’t take that tone with her. She was just asking a question." Damian stepped between them, and Mari could hear how agitated he was.

"It’s okay Damian. We all have things we don’t like to talk about." She looked back at Gen. "Is it something we need to be worried about? I don’t want to be friends with someone who will cause you problems." Gen relaxed slightly.

"No. With the order gone, it shouldn’t be an issue." Oh… oh. The order must have used his soul to find her in the past. No wonder she had such a vehement reaction to him.

"Still. We won’t bring him here even if we decide to hang out with him, and I’ll let you know when we are so you don’t have to run into him constantly." Gen was still frowning at her, and she didn't know why. Finally, she huffed and looked away.

"That isn't necessary. I should not have overreacted the way I did. It won't happen again." She wanted to argue, but Gen had closed down. Trying to talk about this now wouldn't do any good.

"How are things going with Adrien?" Gen just blinked at her, but Damian's song turned erratic. He still wasn't thrilled with the fact that he didn't face any real consequences.

"I'm thinking about using the potion to bring his base front and center. It will help us figure out who he is and how many of his actions were because of the taint on his home. It'll give us the best idea of how much progress we can make with him."

"It won't hurt him?" She hesitated. Gen had been working with Adrien for months to rid him of the darkness he'd been saturated with since birth. The fact that she was even considering this meant it wasn't going well.

"Not directly. I can't vouch for what will surface, though. I haven't been able to get a good enough read on him to even guess."

"You'll explain the risks and give him a choice?"

"Of course. He's getting frustrated with everything though, so I don't think it'll matter." Mari hadn't been keeping up with Adrien, more out of guilt than anything else. At the same time, he didn't have anyone he could really talk to about the things that had happened. She felt guilty for staying away, but after everything, she couldn't see him. Not until they had a better idea of who he was, at least.

"Are Emilie and Nathalie helping at all?" Gen's face scrunched up in annoyance.

"Nathalie tries, but Emilie... she's bound and determined to blame Adrien for Gabriel's treatment of her, or at least insist that he's the same as his father. It's unhelpful. Honestly, I'd be willing to bet she had some mental issues even before all this, given the way she's acting. Once we establish Adrien's true personality, I plan on suggesting he be removed to a less hostile home, or Emilie and Nathalie go on an extended vacation."

"Even after you've explained everything? Why would she blame Adrien?" Gen sighed.

"Lots of reasons. She can't get to Gabriel, and Adrien is the next best thing. Despite everything that's happened, everything she's seen, she doesn't really believe me about the taint on the house. She also sees Adrien as a tether to her old life. Gabriel is the one who insisted they have a kid in the first place, so she's probably resented him since he was born."

Marinette felt her guilt spike. Yes, he'd been annoying as Chat, but no one deserved to be treated that way. He was all alone, and she wouldn't help him. What did that make her?

"This isn't your fault." Damian hugged her from behind. "You have to prioritize your health right now and that's not something you should feel guilty about. You didn't cause this, and it's not your job to fix it."

"But I'm the Guardian, and the Order caused this." Adrien's entire life was destroyed first, because the Order wouldn't just leave Gen be, and second, because they let the Miraculous fall into the wrong hands. It absolutely was her job to fix this.

"And you've delegated the task to me, someone who's more qualified to do what needs to be done. There's nothing more you could be doing, and Damian's right. It's more important for you to heal than to help heal others right now. I know it goes against your nature, but if you burn yourself out, it will cause irreparable damage to the world."

"What do you mean to the world?" Mari was hoping she misspoke, but Gen winced.

"I shouldn't have said that. The last thing you need is more stress. Just let me worry about Adrien. I promise I'll do everything I can to repair the damage that was done. The best thing you can do right now is concentrate on you and Damian. Especially since we still don't know why the two of you can't separate for any decent length of time." Damian tightened his arms around her. She knew Gen was right, but it didn't make things better.

"I don't know why everyone is so concerned with separating us in the first place." Damian's tone and song were agitated. He really didn't like talking about this, and it seemed to be the only thing their families focused on. Gen just rolled her eyes.

"No one is trying to separate you. If you want to hang all over each other, that's fine. The issue is that if something happens and you can't be close together for some reason, you're both going to be in a lot of pain. That makes it far less likely that you'll be able to do anything useful to fix your being apart." Damian grumbled, but didn't argue. Mari liked having him with her all the time, but he deserved to live his own life too. He'd already made so many sacrifices for her. "So just try to concentrate on you for right now... and maybe Luka."

"Luka? Why?" Gen had sounded less than enthused about that last part. Damian was glaring at her for it, too.

"He's dangerous in the wrong hands, and not just to me, unfortunately. His ability could make him very valuable in certain groups. Consider the League of Assassins, Damian. The way they currently weed out people with soul mates or even traitors would be much more effective if they had someone like Luka who can literally hear their emotions. He has a lot of uses. The only advantage is that the order usually found him first and had tunnel vision about finding me. Most people don't know such a soul exists, and luckily, he's the only one. Well, at least the only one I've encountered."

"You just said he wasn't a problem." Damian sounded ready to explode.

"No, I said if Mari wanted to be friends with him, he shouldn't be a problem for me. He's definitely someone to keep tabs on to make sure he's not talking to the wrong people, though."

"Fantastic." The amount of sarcasm Damian put in that one word was impressive, but there was a sour tone to his song that Mari didn't like.

"Why don't you like Luka? He's been nothing but nice and helpful."

"He pays too much attention to you." He said that like it made sense.

"So people aren't supposed to pay attention to me?" Gen was frowning at them before she let out a groan.

"Oh, for the love of... You two still haven't defined your relationship, have you?" Mari felt her face heat.

"We're soulmates." Damian's tone was dry, but his song was slightly panicked.

"Yes, captain obvious, but what kind of soulmates do you want to be? I thought you had talked about this and just didn't feel the need to announce it to everyone, but obviously not. Your jealousy is almost certainly part of the reason you can't get away from each other." Mari could only blink at Gen in confusion, but Damian's song was livid. Gen rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll do it for you. Mari, Damian wants to date you, so you don't have to worry that he will want to leave. Damian, Mari wants to date you, so you don't have to act like a possessive jackass anytime someone else comes near her. Are we good now?" When they just continued to stare at her, Gen threw up her arms and stalked out of the room.

"Are you really afraid I want to leave?" Damian's tone was soft.

"You gave up so much to stay with me. I just... what if you regret it? I don't want you to think you don't have any options."

"I gained far more than I gave up. And... do you want to be in a romantic relationship with me?" Mari felt like her face was burning, and panic made its way into her song, but she couldn't help it.

"Yes." Her voice was a whisper, and she almost hoped he didn't hear her. What would happen if he didn't feel the same? Would he resent her for the rest of their lives? Would he just leave and never come back? What if- Her thoughts were abruptly derailed by the pure joy she heard in Damian's song. He turned her around to face him, and his expression was unlike anything she'd ever seen before. She'd call it soft if not for the intensity of it.

"In that case, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, I'd like to formally request that you be my girlfriend."

"Really?" Mari couldn't help the wide grin she felt take over her features.

"Really, Angel."

"Yes! Of course I will." He brought a hand to cup her cheek, and she leaned into it. When his head tilted towards her, she felt like she couldn't breathe. He was so close, and then Chloe's voice killed the moment.

"It's about damn time." She was smirking in the doorway, and Damian glared at her. Mari was just caught up in her amazement that this was really happening. She had a boyfriend. Wait... how did that change things? What was she supposed to do differently? Oh, no. She needed a plan.

"Angel, stop thinking so hard."Damian's voice was amused, but she could hear concern in his song.

"Sorry. I don't want to disappoint you."

"That is impossible." She took comfort in the surety of his song and his touch.

"Gross, get a room." Chloe's amused taunt caused Damian to let out a growl.

"I live here. If you have a problem with it, you can leave."

"Chloe, what do you want?" Mari tried to hide her annoyance. For all her faults, Chloe wouldn't have interrupted them without a reason. Maybe not a good reason, but a reason none the less.

"My mother wants a meeting with you." Mari frowned at her, and Chloe held her hands up. "This is absolutely not my doing. She found out who your soulmate is and thought that it might be more appealing to come to New York now. I honestly didn't even know she was still interested. I also didn't know she was in Paris until she ambushed me when I got home and started questioning me about you." Chloe wouldn't look her in the eye, and Mari could feel the hurt coming off her.

"You deserve better." Chloe just shrugged, so Mari went to hug her. "Really. That woman has no business being a mother, and I'd rather jump off the Eiffel Tower than go anywhere or be in a room alone with her. Tell her she can talk to Penny." That conversation would get shut down quickly, but Chloe winced.

"I'd really rather not be the one to deliver that news."

"Right, sorry. Just give me her number then, so I can give it to Penny." Chloe practically shoved a piece of paper in her hands and hurried out of the room. It had Audrey's number, but also an offer that had Mari's eyes widening. When Damian looked over her shoulder, he scoffed.

"You're worth at three times that much, apprentice or not. Besides, if she knows who I am, then she knows that you can snap your fingers and get the capital to expand your current business to any size you please. That offer is insulting." Mari leaned back into him and let out a sigh.

"I'm not going to ask you or your father for money, Damian. Business advice maybe. Either way, I'm not going into business with someone who constantly hurts and abuses one of my best friends, or anyone else, for that matter."

Prologue Beginning Previous

Tag List

@smolplantmum @toodaloo-kangaroo @missanalysis

#maribat #soulmate song #soulmate au #marinette dupain cheng #Damian Wayne #original character #avoidance is how these kids roll

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thatpunkmaximoff · 3 months

Text

[Book Two of Three]

Story: 4 out of 5 Smut: 3 out of 5

Holy hell! What a wild ride Juniper and Zane put us through. I honestly thought this book was gonna be half of what we found out in book one and half of this mortal/demon couple figuring their shit out now that Juni’s deal had been completed. But nope. I was wrong. The entire book was just filling in the blanks of what we already knew- and I am so glad we got those details!

Juniper, for me, was a little hard to like just because she was such a b-tch. Then again, almost being sacrificed and hunted would do that to a person.

Enter Zane who’s been craving her soul for years, and who will do strike whatever deal to get it, and it makes one twisted and delicious story.

I LOVED reading the downfall of the Hadleigh’s almost as much as I loved reading as Zane brought down Juniper’s walls piece by piece.

On a side note, did anyone else want to attend that demon party as well? Lol.

Now here are my rambling thoughts...

*Of course Juniper was befriended by Victoria and Jeremiah. Ugh. I bet that betrayal stung. I’m so glad she got her revenge in book one, though I’m excited to hopefully read the details of all that went down here in book two.

* Holy shit. Victoria really gave her friend acid and then sacrificed her. SHE WAS ONLY FIFTEEN!! Now what I wanna know is how the hell Juniper got out of that mine shaft 😬

* Damn. She escaped and tried to kill Victoria. Good for her. Unfortunately that didn’t happen, but they did lock her up for three years because they thought she was delusional. And now she’s out.

* Lol only Zane would laugh at being shot and think Juniper is being flirty.

* Hot damn. Zane fucking Juniper on the forest floor. Loved it. But of course it was ruined when Juniper saw what Zane really was.

* Aw man. Juniper got the text of her brother’s murder. And now it’s back to Abelaum we go.

* Damn. She saw Leon take her brother’s body from the grave. I don’t know how she remained quiet.

* Zane would be turned on by getting stabbed 😂

* Dammnnnnn. Zane claiming Juniper’s soul, fucking her throat, and then pinning her to the tree..? Fuck, I want a demon now 😏

* Aww he bathed her.

* lol Juniper stabbed him. Again.

* Goddamn. What is it with guns going into no-no areas 😂

* Holy shit. They went and retrieved Marcus’ body. And were attacked 😬

* Juniper is really annoying me. I get it’s your brother, but those monsters outnumbered you greatly… and you still ran into the middle of them to fight for a corpse that was already half eaten? I hope Zane punishes you.

* So… Heidi helped her out of the mine shaft? Wtf. Why?

* Ouch lol. Zane did not have a good first meeting with Callum lol. Such a protective Archdemon.

* “I don’t fuck around when I find something I want.” // “But you already have me.” // “Body and soul. But I decided I want something else too.” He laid his hand around my neck, and pressed his thumb against my pulse. “That right there. I want that next.”

* Wow. She bound and gagged him, and rode his cock while carving her name into his flesh. I love these kinky fucks.

* Zane is my fucking spirit animal! Tripping children who annoy him in the store..? Yess! 😂

* “Fuck, I’d look hot as hell in this. And I’d still dick you down good. Demon maid at your service.” — 😂 omfg.

* Yesssss. Fucking Kent got what he deserved.

* Demon party. Hell yes.

* And now Juniper has Zane’s metal. I fucking love how demons give metal to show their love, loyalty, and devotion to a person.

* Goddamn. Jeremiah is ruthless. I know he killed his sister, but to read about how he snatched her off the street and everything… yikes.

* Damn, Zane. You really ripped through J’s little cult like it was nothing 😏

* Oh shit. Jeremiah/The Deep One really fucked up Zane. I knew it was going to end well, but I hate seeing the close calls. My poor baby demon 😩

#souls trilogy #booktok book review #book review #her soul for revenge #harley laroux #dark romance #monster romance #demon romance #juniper kynes #zane #kent hadleigh #jeremiah hadleigh #demon smut #monster smut

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witch-hazels-musings · 3 years

Note

Okay okay, I’m super excited and nervous bc i’ve never requested anything but: can I request some headcanons of Dainsleif, Scaramouche and Tartaglia falling in love with a god? I’m the anon from that ask 😅

archons of my heart

this might have been the most different set of short little stories i’ve ever written - each character responds so differently to this scenario! (note: based on what we know about these characters, I stuck true to their values* - it might not be what you were intending, and I keep things true to their character) <3

Warning -> angst (Dain), fluff (Childe), genera/fluff?(Scara - mention of long hair)

Character X GN Reader | Anthology

Includes: Dainsleif, Scaramouche, Childe

Dain

Devastated, conflicted - these words have never resonated more in his mind than the day he found out about who you were, what you were

What does he do … he dislikes, no hates the archons and yet … you were one of them - you’d always been one of them and the whole time you hid this fact from him knowing full well the feelings he had for them

He couldn’t really hear as you desperately tried to explain to him why, he only heard the shattering of his heart as your face turned into something he no longer recognized

He stood there, his hands balled into tight fists at his sides, eyes tracking your movement as you paced back and forth in front of him, your feet wearing down the grass with each passover.

“I know you’ll never forgive them for what happened …” You begin, your voice somehow distorted now that he saw you for what you really were. He didn’t have words to respond, he felt out of his body. An observer rather than a participant, how he wished that were the case.

You stepped closer to him, hands reaching for his arm - the arm that had been tainted for so long - and without noticing he recoiled from your outreach. It was the first time he had ever deliberately refused your touch and, although he understood the pain it caused you, it was clear from the reaction of your face, he couldn’t bear your hands on him. Not now, not when the whole world was crumbling down around him.

You stood there, just the way you always did, incredible, perfect, beautiful and reverent in a way no-one ever looked before - he loved you, he thought he loved you

You were so different than those gods that destroyed everything he ever knew, everything he ever cared for, fought for

If only you hadn’t tried to save him then maybe he could have gone on living in the delusion of this relationship .. though, it was only a matter of time before he found out anyway - one day he’d notice how you never aged ... it was inevitable

To love you, to love you so deeply and intensely; to love you after keeping his heart sealed up for so long, to love you with the passion that burns like the stars in the sky only to know this truth - he felt that light burn out in a painful flash

An eye for an eye - he will maintain his beliefs

“Dainsl…”

“Do not …” His voice caught in his throat, it was the first time you’d heard him be taken over by his emotions, “ … do not speak my name.”

“Please, I love you.” Your hands pressed against your chest, body bent forward as if to beg him, plead with him to reconsider.

“I owe you nothing but the repayment of the life that you saved. I shall spare yours to conclude my debt.” For one final time he gazed upon your face, burning into memory the cheeks that he once touched, the eyes that held his breath, the lips that lingered against his skin and were capable of transforming into the most incredible smile. He looked, he lingered, he tried so hard to will the power in him that would whisk him as far from you as he could go but each time he tried he stalled, like a stubborn fool he hesitated.

Your wet cheeks moved as you studied at him with a hopeful, supplicating smile, your head shook and your lips parted as if to call out to him and the power he lacked to leave you filled him suddenly. Like a flash of lightning in a storm he disappeared from your eyes.

Citizens will often recall the days when it rained with an intensity of a woeful god, and can’t help but notice the mysterious man who would leave the room every time your name was mentioned.

Scara

Cool -- cool, cool, cool - you’re a divine being - bet

It’s very likely that Scara will be excited about this revelation - he already thinks so highly of himself that knowing that he has captured the affection of a god only swells his pride more than it already did

He’s so smug when you tell him, when you spill to him what you are - he doesn't believe it either and will make you demonstrate that power to him and if you look back at him after your display, you’ll see him with a devious grin

Be careful, he may manipulate you to act as an extension of his wishes -- and if he has any vengeance to enact on the people who harmed him, you’ll have to be very strong in your convictions (though, you can do whatever you’d like honestly, you a god)

“Again.” Scara commands, his arms crossed over his chest, head tilted up so he can look at you from his perch on the rock and a smile stretched so far across his face you wonder how his lips don’t steam in pain.

“I’ve already shown you multiple times. Do you still not believe me?” You huff, resting your hands on your hips, adamant that you won’t comply with his request.

“Okay okay, I’m convinced.” He shrugs, hoping off of his stoop and walking toward you. “So how long have you been a god?”

“I don’t know, it’s hard to keep track of the years … though I’d say around 500.”

“Interesting. Can you make me a god?”

“No, I don’t have that authority.”

“Disappointing, but oh well.” He stopped just before you, he was shorter than you so you looked down at him, thankful that he removed his hat otherwise you’d have a hard time seeing his face. He reached for a strand of your long hair, his fingers twirling around it before sliding down the silky strands and repeating the process. “So, why did you decide to tell me this secret of yours?”

“I …” Why did you tell him? You knew what kind of person he was, you knew the actions that would follow - his greed and selfishness would motivate him to use this information for his own advantage. “Against my better judgement, I told you because I love you.” You cover your face with your hand, embarrassed by the confession. It’s the first time you’ve ever fallen in love with a human before, Scara was your first and that notion electrified your skin.

“You love me?” You didn’t need to see him to catch the cocky attitude spilling from him.

“I do …” You replied with a sigh.

“Who would have thought that?” “Listen, if you’re going to make fun of me then I’ll just …” Your voice was cut off by Scara pulling you toward him and pressing his lips against your own. Your knees nearly gave way at the contact and you reached to his arms to stabilize yourself. His lips are thin and the power he uses, the pressure of the kiss tells you what kind of man he is.

“This is excellent news, don’t think I’ll let you get away from me now.” He hummed, his lips dancing over your own as he spoke, his breath warming your skin. Was this really the best human that could have stolen your heart? Well, you were sure it wouldn’t be borning.

Childe

He’s likely indifferent to your real status - to find out that you’re an archon or a god - he’s almost unsurprised by the news

You wonder if he didn’t already know that you weren’t human, you wouldn’t put it past him to have done some digging on you and after being alive for so long it was bound to be suspicious that you knew things that many people didn’t anymore -- it was also suspicious that Zhongli seemed to recognize you pretty quickly, his eyes shining as if he saw an old friend

“You could have just told me.” Childe emphasized, crossing his arms and leaning against the large pole behind him.

“I know … but, well I wasn’t really planning on sticking around.”

“Oh, so you’re one of those.”

“Ah, no! That’s not what I meant.” For being of reverence, you always found yourself stumbling over your words when talking to Childe. “Ugh, I meant that I didn’t think that … well that I’d fall in love with a human.” You picked at your clothes and shook your head.

“If there was ever a human for you to fall head over heels for, I am the best candidate for that.” You looked at him, laughing at the way he pointed his thumbs at his chest and grinned from his own joke.

“I don’t know … maybe I made a mistake?” You express, rubbing your chin with your hands.

“Hey now!”

“I’m joking of course … so, you really aren’t … upset?”

“Why would I be upset?” He asked, eyes furrowing and head tilting to the side.

“I don’t know … my timeline is different from yours for one.”

“So. That doesn’t matter to me.”

“There will be a day when you’ll be old and I won’t have aged a day.”

“Don’t care.” You huff and take a few steps away from him. He didn’t seem to grasp what it meant to be in love with a god. This was the reason you rarely took human companions, the guilt in your heart at watching them age and the pain of losing them was all a strain on your heart.

“Childe …” You begin again but as you turn to face him you notice he’s moved from his place and is now standing in front of you.

“I don’t care who you are, what you are, or what you’ve done.” He takes your hand and brings it to his lips, his breath of humanity filling your very soul. “I love you, and I don’t take that feeling lightly.”

“I don’t want you to regret choosing a partner who cannot live a normal human life.”

“If I wanted a normal life, I wouldn’t be where I am to begin with. What I want is you, and I’m pretty good at getting what I want.” He smirked and kissed each knuckle on your hand. How was it that a man could bring down a god so easily?

“Now, the real question …” Childe’s tone shifted, his body extended to his full height which made you tilt your head to look at him. “Do you still have your divine powers or whatever?”

“Like …?”

“Like, can you summon lightning or manipulate the earth with a snap of your fingers?”

“Haha, oh, I still have my abilities, yes. There were times I had to fight, so I’ve adapted them for those purposes.”

“Excellent.” He grabbed your wrist and pulled you along after him. “Let’s fight, don't hold back.”

“Childe! That’s dangerous.”

“Even better.” He gave you a quick wink before dragging you to a place where the two of you could engage in the battle of his dreams.

#genshin impact #genshin impact X reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact musings #genshin impact fiction #dainsleif #genshin impact dainsleif #genshin scaramouche #genshin impact scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #dainsleif x reader #childe X reader #childe #genshin childe #scaramouche

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darkenedreaper · 3 years

Text

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Avengers x Reader

Featuring: GoTG, Peggy Carter

Warnings: Angst, sad I suppose

Summary: 2 years after her death, your struggling even more. And it’s killing the team to keep their secret. (I changed Endgame because I can. Come at me. I might make it into chapters.)

Masterlist

‘It can’t be undone’ she said

*2 years ago*

You had gone through years with her. Years with the Avengers and the Guardians of the Galaxy. You had gone through love with her. You had gone through the 5 years with her. You had gone to Vormir with her. Yet you had won the final fight without her.

When you all came back from the time travel success you had to try and keep yourself from collapsing. You saw the others standing with smiles on their faces but all you saw was her. Her lips and eyes pleading you to let her go. Her body descending forever. And her sprawled out onto the floor, a pool of blood surrounding her head confirming Natasha Romanoff no longer wondered the earth.

“Are you telling me this actually worked?” Rhodey questioned, followed by Thor’s wheezy laugh. Their faces became confused when they heard a long bang. You have dropped down onto your knees, stone in hand and body wet from wherever you had been teleported to after she had sacrificed herself.

“Y/n where’s Nat?” The big green guy said. Your eyes were stuck in front of you. A sorrowful look on your face. You couldn’t even move. You couldn’t speak. You could’ve all been there for hours or seconds. But Steve lifted you up by your arms and tried to read your expression. With the help of Nebula you were taken to your bedroom you shared with Natasha. The both of them tried to gently take you to the bed but instead you walked shakily to the bathroom and shut the door. Of course Steve was upset. He had a lost a part of his family. He had shed tears while he walked with you. He could only imagine what the scene must’ve been for yourself. The unspoken news of his friends death was indescribable, but having to be there in an unimaginable situation would’ve been even harder. And he understood that. Nebula grieved, she barely knew the woman. But she grieved. She saw the distraught and pain on your face and in your eyes. She placed her hand on Steve’s shoulder and took him out of your room.

In the bathroom you had caged yourself into. You had your hand gripped to the sink. Your eyes trained to the sink bowl. Your eyes drifted to the left for you where her makeup and hairbrush had been layed out this morning. You took a step back, nervously clasping your hands together. You tried to calm down before someone got hurt. You looked down at your hands and you were maintaining some level of sanity before you remembered that your hand had let her go. If anyone would walk past your bedroom door, they were bound to hear glass smashing and screams and words of anguish.

You didn’t speak to anyone. You completely shut yourself down. The only reason you spoke to someone was to communicate over the earpiece when you were fighting. There was a short debate over the coms as to who was going to steal the stones from Thanos. You nearly went into a fit of rage and upset before Carol ordered you to look into her eyes. Your excuse to use the stones was so you could be with her again. When Tony clicked his fingers the enemy became dust, and the world became a little more louder and a bit more lighter. The battlefield was filled with new and old faces. Tony’s snap had been so powerful he was able to bring back the people that mattered the most to those around him. Steve had Peggy in his tired arms. Clint had Laura and his children. Wanda had Vision. Quill had Gamora. Thor had his mother and brother back. Tony had Pepper. He was unharmed and Bruce’s arm had healed. Everyone had someone. You had someone. You had your whole family. But your special someone was Natasha. You had never felt so lost. Natasha would be holding you, you holding her. She would tuck your head into her shoulder while letting your arms envelope around her. But all you got were sad looks.

Some of the ‘newbies’ had questioned their closest. After a lot of loud whispering, there was silence. The battlefield was silent in memory of Natasha. The only noises were the hundreds of sniffles and sobs of those who had the news broken to them. The dying fires crackling. The next minute footsteps were approaching you. You had internally begged for it to be Natasha. But you looked up to see a short boy. His suit red and blue with a spider on it. His brown curly hair was tinted with grey. His teary eyes gave you the saddest smile before and steadily put his arms around your shoulders. You accepted the young boys embrace. You were thankful for it.

The news were around the place as quick as they could’ve been. Pictures were taken. Statements were took. The public had tried to surround the heroes but were pushed away by the helping police. It has been released to the enormous crowd that one of the most heroic heroes had died. The crowds became distraught. They sounded like how you felt inside. They tried to surround you and shout out their condolences but you kept walking. Where to? Who knows.

*2 years later/present time*

You spoke to no one. You spoke out in bursts of anger. Anger if someone tried to tell you to come away from your desk and to stop working and trying to find a way. Peggy, Steve’s wife, had became close to you. She understood how it felt to lose a loved one. She understood she wasn’t Natasha. She understood why you were working yourself so hard. She would never judge you, if you looked all disheveled or smelt from not taking a shower. She encouraged you to do your best, but she never pushed you. 2 years ago, you found a solution to stop Thanos. 2 years ago you lost her. 2 years ago Steve returned the stones. You haven’t been able to go through any videos or voice messages of her. Just a photo that you have framed. There were and still are memorials for her, but you would never attend any.

You had only cried to yourself. But right now you were on the edge of having a definite breakdown. Tony and the whole team of Avengers, Wakanda, GotG and Carol had wanted to check in as you had been back to Vormir. Which you greatly regret. Scott had made an extra time travel refill for you. All you were told by red skull was a ‘soul for a soul’. You argued with a ghost. You lashed out a ghost. You didn’t dare look to the edge. Knowing you would either throw yourself of or cry so much you wouldn’t be able to move.

They all met you at the Compound. At the platform that sat on top on the lake.

Steve and Peggy. Tony and Pepper. Rhodes. Bucky and Sam. Clint and Laura. Thor and Loki. Bruce. The Guardians were there. Rocket was by your side. Peter was there with Happy. Carol was at the edge of the platform. Wanda and Vision. And the rest were all there. You had your back turned to them. You were silent trying to understand why they all had such guilty faces, except Thor. They all had a secret. One they had agreed to not tell you, for fear it may completely break you. But they decided enough was enough. They had to tell you.

“Look we need to get her back to stop this shit with the Avengers get it together.” Thor spat at Steve, as he still saw him as the Captain.

“Can’t get her back.” You spoke up, causing everyone’s attention on the two of you.

“Wh..wha..what are you..?” Thor mumbled out.

“It can’t be undone. It can’t.” You said quietly looking at him from over your shoulder.

He laughed at your words before saying, “Look.. I, I’m sorry but your a very earthly being okay, we’re talking about space magic and can’t seems very definitive. Don’t you think?”

“Yeah look I know that I’m way outside my.. my paid rate here. But she still isn’t here is she?” You said. Tony took of his sunglasses, getting upset.

“Yeah well that’s my point.” Thor said in a hushed manner.

“It can’t.. be undone.” Your voice cracking, your tears had crawled their way down your face now. “Or that’s at least what the red floating guy had to say. Maybe you wanna go talk to him. Ok, go grab your hammer and you go find him you talk to him!” You yelled at him. He looked down to the floor. You shouldn’t be angry with him. He missed Natasha. But you couldn’t help it.

“It was supposed to be me.” You admitted with a breaking voice. Bucky let a tear fall freely from his eye. “She sacrificed her life for that goddamn stone, she bet her life on it.” You started to breakdown in the middle of everyone. Angry at how she could’ve died for nothing. How it wasn’t supposed to be like this. Even Wanda began to breakdown. She felt your pain from far away. Your longing. And your grieving. Rockets fur was wet as he was upset just like everyone else.

He couldn’t take it anymore. The lies. Not the acting. But the lies. Clint stood up and said, “Y/n we’ve been lying to you. Natasha is here. She’s perfectly fine. She’s alive. You just can’t see her.” No one else bothered to look up as he said what was needed to be said. You slowly turned around to him. “What?” Was all you could choke out. Steve stood up and walked towards you before keeping a distance. “When I returned the stone. He told me that we could all get her back, after all it was a soul for a soul. But the one who travelled there has been cursed. You can’t see or hear her and I don’t know if you ever will. But she’s alive.”

You took time to observe his words.

She was standing in front of you. Her arms crossed but her eyes were stuck on your face that was wet from the tears you had cried. Your eyes brows moving in a sorrowful way. She wasn’t crying for herself no. She cried for you. For your pain. She had never seen you so upset. And because she had been with you ever since she got back, she’s had to watch you cry almost every day.

Natasha wishes you could see her. She has been next to you this whole time. She was gone a few hours and then she was back. She couldn’t find you and instead ran into Sam who held her tightly. Instead she sped off to Tony’s cabin where she found Bucky and Steve, who explained everything.

She wishes you could hear how proud she is of you. She wishes you didn’t have to see you break yourself and live in your mental anguish. It hurt her. Every night you fell asleep at your desk, she would drape a blanket over you, and almost cry at your confused state in the morning of who had been to your office and covered you.

She wishes you hadn’t been traumatised by her silly yet heroic actions. She wishes she could tell you how much she loves you and how she wants to be held by you and she wants you to be able to hear her words, “I love you.” The others heard it. But they didn’t dare tell you.

She was determined to get her words to you. If not by speaking to you then by page. Determined to prove that she was with you all of this time. She wants to tell you how much she loves you.

She wishes there was a way.

If you would like a part 2, let me know.

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hockeywhy · 3 years

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caught in the middle (1); m. barzal

SYNOPSIS: For the sake of your friend’s wedding with Tito, you and Mat agree to maintain the facade of still being the happy couple everyone sees you as. But the act comes with its consequences, one more taxing than the other. WARNINGS: language. WORD COUNT: 11.2k A/N: I am so excited for this because it contains some of the tropes I enjoy seeing in fics, and I was dying to also put out some new content as opposed to only reposting my old writing. I wish I wrote this when I was still decent at doing the thing, but I hope that this is still an enjoyable read that makes you look forward to the next part! Title is based off Alexander 23′s Caught in the Middle which is such a good song and I really recommend. Sections in italics represent flashbacks.

PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4

“We’re getting married!”

You gasped, bringing both hands to cover the lower half of your face as your jaw dropped at the announcement. It shouldn’t be so surprising – you would’ve bet even your most prized possession that this was bound to happen at some point eventually – but knowing this was actually now a sure thing sent a thrill through you. It didn’t take long for the shock to wear off and in place of it, your expression mirrored that of your best friend’s: the wide grin, the bright eyes and of course, the giggles of sheer excitement as soon as the news sunk in. Elise was glowing and next to her, Tito embodied the idea of what the world’s proudest man would look like.

“Oh my god!” you gasped, and Elise burst into laughter, not hesitating to jump out of her seat at the same time you did so that the two of you could embrace. Among your squeals and giggles, you could faintly make out the sound of hands being clapped, then caught sight of Mat and Tito hugging. Over Elise’s shoulder and over Tito’s, you and Mat exchanged smiles and you couldn’t help the chuckle that left your mouth as soon as he winked at you. “Congratulations!” you said as soon as you broke apart, though the two of you still held hands. Immediately, your gaze fell down to her hand where a ring now rested, and you couldn’t help but wonder how you hadn’t taken notice of it earlier. “Just—when? How? Where? Who else knows?”

“We don’t have a date or venue set yet, but we wanted you and Mat to be the first to know,” Elise informed you as soon as you took your seats again.

“We have a favour to ask from both of you,” Tito supplied. As soon as he said it, you felt Mat’s hand wrap around your own and the two of you exchanged a brief look during which he squeezed your hand gently, before diverting your attentions back to the soon-to-be newlyweds.

Newlyweds. The immensity of the word sent a discrete shiver down your spine.

“I can’t imagine asking this of anyone else: I want you to be my best man,” Tito directed at Mat.

“You shouldn’t even think of asking this of anyone else,” Mat responded immediately, and the two shook hands on it. You couldn’t help but think that if they weren’t as comfortable as they were now, they’d probably hug again, do their typical pats on the back or fist bump as they usually did, but Elise’s head now rested on Tito’s shoulder and Mat’s hand was so warm, so firm atop your own.

“Be my maid of honour, please?” Elise asked. “I can’t think of anyone more suitable than you and Mat as best man and maid of honour. We’ll return the favour of course,” she added playfully.

“I’ll hold you to that,” you warned without hesitating because after all, you had no reason to – and you knew Mat would agree with you.

Although the two of you hadn’t touched on the subject yet, there was an unvoiced knowledge shared between you that eventually, this would also be you. Eventually, Mat would ask you and your heart would grow and your soul would warm, and you would say yes. Yes, yes, yes.

As you all settled down to hear a replay of how Tito popped the question and Elise accepted the ring, Mat’s thumb began caressing the back of your hand. Though the gesture wasn’t a novelty, you couldn’t help but take notice of the way your heart fluttered each time he seemed to linger more on your ring finger. It wasn’t difficult to imagine a ring wrapped around it but neither of you were in a rush: you simply waited for the right time to take your relationship to a point in which it would become a forever thing, fully confident it wasn’t a question of ‘if’ but rather, ‘when’.

This was anything but the right time.

You frown as you cast a glance down at the phone resting on your lap, eyes narrowing a little at the name which brought the display to life for the second time in the space of less than a minute. You click the side button twice, silencing the vibrations of it and from your side, your colleague leans in to whisper to you.

“You can take it if it’s urgent. I’ll fill you in afterwards.”

“Thanks,” you whisper back. “I think it can wait until the meeting wraps up though.”

Luke gives you a well, if you’re sure look as he leaned back in his chair and you flash him a grateful smile.

Still, it is difficult for you to settle comfortably in your seat again and much to your chagrin, you find yourself crossing and uncrossing your legs as if the call had sent some sort of signal to your entire body kickstarting jitteriness you can honestly do without. Not long after you find some comfort and energy to draw yourself back to the present, your phone buzzes again – only once this time, indicating a message.

I’m waiting for you in the lobby.

Fuck, you curse inwardly, locking the phone in frustration. As quietly as you can, you gather your notebook and work tablet then lean in towards Luke who met you halfway. “Have to run but let me know if I miss anything important.”

“At the current rate, I wouldn’t count much on it but will do anyway,” he states as quietly as he can and the two of you exchange sly, conspiratorial smiles before you excuse yourself quickly and very quietly while making a swift exit.

Internally, a string of curses follow without a break in between, and you have to physically bite down on your lip out of sheer fear one might unconsciously slip out. If anyone would be in your shoes, though, they wouldn’t blame you for it. You are the type of person to stick closely to any plans and agreements made, so the fact that he just chose to turn up so unexpectedly doesn’t sit right with you. Not anymore, that is. Besides, you had both agreed to do this after your workday ended as opposed to midday and definitely not in this place. Now, you have to brace yourself for coping with a foul mood on top of whatever else the rest of the day would throw at you.

“You’ve got a visitor,” Rachel announces quietly in a sing-song voice from behind the reception desk as you approach. She doesn’t bother masking the giddiness in her tone and you struggle to work up as genuine of a smile as you can when she nods her head towards the waiting area.

“Thanks, Rach.”

“Bet he must be so happy your redeployment to the Baltimore offices was cut short so quickly,” she coos.

“Sure is. We’re still on for tonight?” you ask quickly in an attempt to drive attention away from the subject before she can try to lead into it too far for your own comfort at the moment.

Rachel’s smile falters a little, her expression somewhat quizzical. “Don’t you want to postpone so you could spend some time with him? You only just got back yesterday, after all.”

You swallow uncomfortably before shrugging. “We’ve got plenty of time to do that. So tonight, okay? I’ll catch you later.”

“Your call. See you then, Y/N!”

You only had just a split second to brace yourself for what is ahead of you, so you draw in a breath then slowly exhale it as discreetly as you can while cutting your way across the lobby. Since agreeing to this meeting, you prepared yourself as best as you could, imagining every single scenario and devising the appropriate plan for it: from the way you presented yourself to what you said, you had a mental plan for everything including a few backups just in case. The only thing you hadn’t factored in, apparently, was how little was under your control and you hated that. Each step you take made you feel less and less prepared for what is ahead, and the thought rattles you. If you were swift enough on your feet, you could just about make a quick turn and dip into the hallway leading to the visitor restrooms. All you need is just a few more seconds. A little alone time for you to run over your lines in your head.

Except—

Mat looks up at the same time you take a step sideways, ready to bolt towards temporary safety. His eyebrows rise a little as if surprised by the sight of you, but you refuse to appear outwardly deflated by the turn of events. Instead, you square your shoulders, tip your head back a little and arch an eyebrow. You can do this. You note he is dressed casually, and his hair is pushed back underneath a black cap.

Unless there was a change in schedule, Thursdays were scrimmage days.

Your jaw clenches ever so slightly as you recall that with so much ease. Then again, you basically built up a collection of information that was practically helpful or useful to exactly no one over the course of the past few years. It’ll probably take just as much or maybe more to replace that with something different, so you try cutting yourself some slack whenever you are willing to.

“I thought we agreed on five thirty,” you state coolly, pitching your voice at just the right tone to also express surprise.

Mat pushes up from the armchair, returning whatever magazine he’d picked up back on the nearby glass table. “Sorry, I tried calling earlier this morning to ask if we can reschedule but it went straight to voicemail.”

Oh. You mentally curse yourself for not charging your phone as soon as you made it home from the airport the previous night or bothering to check the voicemail message you’d been notified of once it did begin charging earlier this morning at your desk.

“They rescheduled the viewing of the new arena for this evening, and I was in the area, so I thought I’ll drop by just in case,” Mat continues, throwing a cursory glance around the place though to you, it seemed more like a way of having a break from the eye contact. You don’t complain; you welcome that.

You open your mouth, ready to berate his poor timing but even you could admit you carry some fault here too. Only a little. You bite down lightly on the tip of your tongue, before nodding towards the seats though you didn’t wait for Mat; you sit, deciding he could make up his own mind if he wanted to follow or not.

“How was Baltimore?” he asks after a few moments of awkward silence while settling in the same armchair he previously occupied.

“Mat,” you say, hoping it comes across as more of a warning than a plea. You can’t deal with small talk and a part of you thinks that’d make the entire deal even more difficult to go through with. He presses his lips together into a thin line and you take that as your sign to continue. “Elise told me she’d like us to be at the venue a day in advance of the rehearsal dinner if we can. I’ve already arranged my leave for that, so it’s not a problem for me. I’m planning on making my way there sometime tomorrow afternoon.”

“We can go together then. I can pick you up after work.”

“There’s no need—”

“Y/N.” The sharpness of his tone catches you off guard and you can swear Mat was equally surprised by that, though only for the briefest of moments. He slides forward a little in the seat almost as if he is more than ready to leave but Mat has never been one to back down so easily and you doubt any of that changed during the course of the past three months or so. “You were the one who insisted we go through with this and I’m trying. I really am, but you’re not giving me anything to work with. So please. Let’s just put everything to the side, do what we need to do and then it’s done.”

Done. Like it is a task, like it is something you needed to cross off a to-do list, scrunch it up then trash it.

The finality of the word is so heavy that it feels as if it had managed to knock out all the air in your lungs. You and Mat were running headfirst towards a fork in the road, and deep down you knew that was truly it. If until now the two of you have been dancing around each other, playing pretend as if you were kids living in a world of fantasy, you know that eventually, you have to let light shine on the truth: whatever lay ahead, you and Mat could no longer walk the same paths. It is just a matter of admitting it not only to yourselves, but also to the people you were lying to.

Lying for, you prefer.

Defeated, you slump in your own seat a little, legs crossing and fingers tapping lightly against the back of your notebook. “Be at my place by two. I’ll have everything that I need ready the night before so we won’t need to wait around.” A pause, and then, “how’s Tito?”

Mat lifts a shoulder in a casual shrug. “Excited. Nervous. It’s the only thing he talks about in the locker, outside of it, on ice and off ice. How’s Elise?”

“Same deal with her. I never knew there were so many shades of blue before, but I’ve been proven wrong before.”

A pause follows that could easily be attributed to the group of people rushing into the building and allowing noise from the street outside to filter in while the doors were kept open, but you can tell there is more to it than that if you are to go by the shift in Mat’s expression. His expression changes and you find you can’t quite read into it or guess what could be going on through his head. You try not to focus much on the little voice inside your mind that was bothered by it but find it takes a considerable amount of effort to do so. Force of habit, you conclude.

“You don’t say,” Mat finally responds. There is a hint of accusation in his tone. Or regret. Maybe both.

Your lips press together firmly, a light frown forming on your face but chose to let that slide. Not only is the lobby of your workplace the least suitable place to have an argument about the two of you, but you find that even those short moments of seeing Mat face to face months after you called it quits appears to take a toll on you. You feel tired, worn out and willing to be the first one to back down for once.

It is cruel irony that a big red neon EXIT sign is visible from the corner of your eye.

You release a quiet, long sigh then stand up from the seat. “Well, I guess we’re done here? I do have another meeting to prepare for, so…” You trail off, already backing away a few steps.

Mat opens his mouth as if ready to say something else but promptly presses his lips together, deciding against it. He gives a swift nod of his head then stands up. It’s then you notice the two Styrofoam cups in front of him and the neon EXIT sign imprinted in your mind starts flashing temptingly at you. Mat is a step ahead. He holds out one of the cups towards you and you are ready to tell him off for it, but he cut in.

“Thought I wouldn’t drop by empty handed.” When you don’t make a move to accept it, his eyes briefly peek behind you. “Rachel’s all eyes this way, by the way,” he informs you and a brief glance over your shoulder confirms Mat hasn’t been lying.

As soon as you turn to look towards the reception desk, Rachel grins, waves quickly at you then turns back to her computer screen. Begrudgingly, you accept the cup of coffee and force a tight smile.

“See you soon,” you say by way of greeting and didn’t wait to hear a response from Mat.

It isn’t until you scan your pass to cross the security barriers and make a turn out of sight that you take a sip from the drink and almost immediately wish you didn’t. It’s your order to a T. The two of you even brought a coffee machine that would let you replicate it on days when you didn’t feel like leaving the comforts of your apartment, especially days when Mat didn’t need to get up early for practices or scrimmages or evening games. It stayed with Mat when you left and the memory left a bitter taste in your mouth, despite the gentle sweetness of the beverage.

Without thinking twice, you throw the cup in the nearest trash can.

As soon as your order is set on the table, you ignore the basket of fries and reach straight for your glass to take a long sip from the straw, letting out a content sigh as soon as you felt satiated enough.

“Long day,” you state in response to Rachel’s raised eyebrows but she seems to accept that by raising her own glass. You clink yours against hers, take a smaller sip then set it back down on the table. “What time do you think you’ll make it over to the hotel?”

“Well, I was thinking of trying to get there by midday on the day of the rehearsal dinner but it’s starting to look more like late afternoon. I’m…” She trails off, and you can just about pick up on her hesitation and the way her gaze shifts over to the side momentarily as if avoiding something or considering whether to continue that. You move in your seat, peeling your back away from the plush backrest to lean in a little closer.

“You’re…” you trail off, voice peaking just a little into a question in an attempt to prompt her to continue.

Rachel takes a deep breath in, shoulders visibly drooping and when she looked back at you, she did so with a look that could only reflect…shame? Embarrassment?

“Luke and I are sort of thinking of coming along together.” At the sight of your widened eyes, she quickly adds, “just as friends! We’re still working out through a few things and we’re taking it slow. As in, much, much slower than the first time around.”

“No way! That’s… Rach, that’s so good. I’m happy for you both, seriously.”

You find that you truly believed that, though it wasn’t a surprise to you. You had introduced Rachel to Luke while she visited you in Baltimore and at the time, he worked with you there also. Initially, you didn’t think much of it - you simply invited her to come along to a few after work drinks and the two kicked it off easily that night. Very easily apparently, because as the night started coming to an end, Rachel prompted you to go ahead without her. Ready to say you weren’t going to leave her own her own, you shortly found out exactly why: you watched with plenty of amusement and fascination as she and Luke climbed into a taxi together and whizzed off to his place, undoubtedly. That was pretty much their start and continuation. Her visits to Baltimore were more frequent and though you were seeing her often enough, it definitely wasn’t as much as Luke saw of her. And you were fine with that. They fit almost perfectly and it only took a few more meetings for them to label themselves as a couple.

Things began crumbling as soon as Luke had moved to the New York office just a few weeks before your own return. While he seemed fine with the idea of Rachel working in the same place, that wasn’t also her take on things.

“It’s weird,” she told you through the phone. “It just… It’s so weird. I’d be seeing him at my place or his and in the office? No thanks. That’s way too much for me, you know?”

It made sense, of course, and though you rooted for them, you didn’t want to push her into something she wasn’t comfortable with. Yet, there was a tremble to her voice, a sort of uncertainty that made you think otherwise. It wasn’t that Rachel didn’t have any feelings for him - maybe she was simply shocked to see him walk through those glass doors one morning to pick up his brand new ID and claim what would soon become his permanent desk across from yours.

“Thanks,” she tells you, pulling you back into the present. “But like I said, slow and easy does it. We’ve been talking more and that makes a huge difference.”

“For sure. If communication isn’t the backbone of a relationship, I don’t know what is,” you agree and wasn’t that ironic? You’re hardly in the position of giving any relationship advice at all or saying what is good for one and what isn’t. Not anymore. Not when your own had fallen apart.

Rachel grins. “You’d know. You and Mat have been together for… how long now?”

You should’ve seen it coming a mile away. You swallow uncomfortably, take another sip of your drink and take a few fries just to buy yourself a little more time. “Maybe four years? Don’t really keep track of that anymore,” you said as casually as you could muster, lifting your shoulders in a shrug.

“I think I’d stop doing that eventually too at the rate you two are going. Honestly, I would’ve bet anything you would’ve been the first to tie the knot. Actually, thinking about it,” she says, clicking her fingers in recollection, “Elise said the same thing to me the other day when we caught up on the phone. She went—“

You don’t really register her words. There is a low ringing in your ears and an uncomfortable draft sweeps in the locale as the entrance door somewhere behind you is being kept open, no doubt a large group making their way in; it sends shivers down your body, but really, you are pretty sure you can’t only attribute them to a brief gust of wind. After all, your sweater is keeping you sufficiently cosy and warm. In front of you, Rachel continues praising your relationship with Mat, talking about how anyone took a look at you both and would say, whatever they have going, I want it too and you are trying so, so hard to block out as much as you can of it. You can stop her, of course; distract her with whatever random topic and you know she’d go with it but your jaw is locked in place, teeth clenched uncomfortably. You blame that and the way your nails dig into the palms of your hands on the sting behind your eyes and the sudden heaviness weighting down on your chest.

It isn’t so much the pain of your relationship ending that was rendering you in a state of daze, but the shame of what you and Mat agreed to do: pretend the two of you were still the happy couple Elise, Tito and everyone else thought of you as just to not spoil whatever luck they thought you’d be passing on to them by being their main witnesses. And then, once the event passes and they would return to New York from the honeymoon you and Mat would soon gift to them on their wedding day, you’d tell them the truth. Or part of it anyway. Definitely no mentions that the two of you were childish enough to play pretend; just a simple, clean break timed just perfectly with your request to be permanently redeployed elsewhere. Preferably, as far from New York City as possible so that you no longer have to walk the streets you once both did or yearn to once again visit that perfect pie place the two of you once dubbed your own.

“We’re not together anymore.”

The words stumble out of your mouth in a desperate now or never manner. Despite the anxiousness that came with the act, you find relief in it also. It feels freeing to be able to admit the truth to someone that isn’t only yourself though perhaps you should’ve thought of this more carefully: the idea of now needing to come fully clean to Rachel is somewhat daunting, mostly because of what she might say in response to the front you and Mat are trying to uphold. But for the first time in what feels like too long, you no longer feel like a fraud; like a person lying to everyone around them.

“Wait.” Rachel frowns, and it was obvious she doesn’t quite know what to do with that information or how to best process it. Her head tilts a little, palm idly rubbing against the side of her neck so you take the initiative to come across as unbothered by this as possible by leaning into the seat, legs crossing as you fiddled with the drink’s straw. “What? I’m confused. Didn’t Mat just drop by earlier? You two seemed okay. He was…fine when he came in. We didn’t talk much, sure, but he was all smiley and just…normal.”

You laugh quietly and shortly. “It’s been a while now. Maybe two or three weeks before I left for Baltimore, I think. It’d be pretty worrying if he was still hung up about it. After all, we both agreed on it. And this,” you add, a little more disheartened and embarrassed. “This…thing we’re doing. We promised Tito and Elise we’ll be there for them on their big day and we will. But they had this… I guess, idea of us being an ideal couple. Whatever that is,” you continue more quietly and with a roll of your eyes. “He wanted to tell Tito, but I didn’t want to spoil Elise’s day, you know? So he agreed. Took some convincing because it feels so… Gosh, it sounds so stupid, doesn’t it? Pretending we’re still together just to spread some fake cheer around.”

“Oh, honey…” Rachel whispers and you read the sympathy in her voice. Not that she makes it particularly difficult to take note of. “But… I thought everything was okay. Actually, way more than okay. Perfect, even. What…uh—“ She trailed off awkwardly, but you could easily fill in that gap.

What happened?

You bring the beverage to your mouth, this time drinking from the glass directly as opposed to using the straw. The mixer stings your throat this time around but the small ice cube you take into your mouth numbs it away pretty quickly. Slowly, you chew it to small pieces and speak only when you finish it.

“I thought long and hard about this the first few weeks after we called it quits,” you admit. “We always talked about what bothered us or if there was something on our mind, but at one point we just… We stopped wanting to compromise. When I was put forward for Baltimore, it was going to be a permanent thing. Mat was happy, sure, but I could tell he wasn’t being entirely honest with me, you know? When I called him out on it, he asked me well what about us? And I said we’d be fine. Baltimore isn’t a different continent. It’s not even a different timezone. He could come over when he had free time and if he didn’t, I’d always spend weekends in New York anyway. It’s Baltimore, Rach. Not fucking San Francisco or whatever. Eventually, he told me exactly what was on his mind: he couldn’t do long distance. Not even for a short period of time while I figured out if Baltimore is really what I wanted. Isn’t it a bit hypocritical, though?” You question, but it’s clear Rachel feels a bit awkward about giving her take on it right now, so you make it easier for her by responding to your own question. “I felt lonely too when he was on the road. I was worried he’d find someone different, someone much better while away. He never gave me a reason to doubt him, but a small part of me still thought what if. This happened right before he was on the road again, actually. We didn’t call, barely even texted those weeks and then when he returned, we decided it’d be best to break up. Didn’t take us a long discussion to get to that conclusion because at that point, it just… I don’t know. It felt like we didn’t have much to say to each other.”

Rachel presses her lips together, the frown still on her face and hesitantly, she asks, “who said it first?”

“I did,” you respond without hesitating. “He wanted a break while we work it all out but come on, Rach, a break? Look me in the eyes and tell me people really believe in breaks and they come back to each other as if nothing happened.”

“I mean…” she trails off, pointing at herself by way of explanation. “Look at me and Luke, I guess.”

You shake your head. “Nope. Not the same thing, trust me. This was for the best, Rach. It’s much neater to call it quits. That way, neither of us will feel obliged to hold back if life puts something different ahead of us.” You pause for a moment, teeth biting into your lower lip. “They said they’ll always have me back there if I decide on it, so who knows. Once I wrap up the project their called me back for, I might just take them up on it. Not quite a promotion, but it’ll be a good sidestep and maybe a change of scenery is what I need.”

“And do you think it’s good? What the two of you are doing right now?” Rachel questions, not at all deterred by your weak attempt at trying to divert conversation to a more work related topic. “And I don’t mean it just for Elise and Tito’s wedding, but for you and Mat generally speaking. I mean… the two of you have been together for a pretty long time. Doesn’t it… Isn’t it odd?”

“It’s not normal, that’s for sure,” you confirm. “But it’d be weirder for everyone if we were to tell them we’re no longer together given we’ve been asked to do what we need to do. Rach, promise me this stays between us, okay? Promise. I know how it sounds, I know how it’ll look but trust me on this, okay?”

She fixes you with a sceptical stare, a look that holds yet more questions than certainty but eventually, she nods her head and relief washes over you at the gesture. “I’m sorry it happened, Y/N,” she offers, voice warm and sympathetic as she places a hand on the table palm up. “And I’m sorry you went through it alone.”

You smile softly and reach for it, returning the squeeze she gives you. There is comfort in the gesture, comfort in her words and you find yourself rooting for it, so grateful to have received it. “The worst part is over, but thank you, Rachel. “It means a lot.”

“Feel like carpooling with Luke and I?”

“I’m good,” you assure as you both relax back into your seats. “Elise wants us there the day before the rehearsal. I guess just to have some familiar faces around that aren’t just wedding planners, so Mat and I agreed to go together tomorrow. Promise I won’t lose my shit if our song plays on the radio,” you add jokingly and find yourself laughing along with Rachel.

“What song’s that?”

Too many, you think, although one in particular stands out to you. “Brett Young’s In Case You Didn’t Know.”

A tray containing an assortment of dishes is set on the table and shortly after, an ice cold pitch of sangria accompanies that. Eager to cool down, you reach for one of the empty glasses to pour yourself a drink but Mat’s quicker. He takes them both, filling your glass first before his own. You laugh to yourself and Mat grins at that, briefly looking towards you as he fills his glass. You’re about to take a sip, eager to both quench your thirst and cool down but Mat takes the initiative of initiating a toast by raising his glass a little, elbow resting on the table.

“What’re we toasting for tonight?” You ask, imitating his pose by leaning forward a little. “To our first holiday together? To how perfect the weather’s been so far? To how I mastered paddle boarding way before you did?”

Mat laughs, lowering his head as he did so but when he looked back up at you, he clinked his glass against yours and held it there. “To all of that. To one of the many, many holidays we’ll have together. To this moment right here, to us, to you.” He pauses and the strobe lights of the bar switch from dark blue to hot pink, and the way Mat stares at you in this moment makes your heart race inexplicably. “To how much I love you.”

He takes your breath away. Draws it right out of your lungs and you feel heady. It’s the first summer with Mat, the first I love you from him and it suddenly feels as if this bar is too small for the both of you. You love him, and he loves you too and the only thing you could imagine doing is jumping in his arms but there’s a table between you and sangria topped wine glasses in your hands, and he’s wearing a pristine white shirt that looks incredible against his tanned skinned and there’s a lot of people around (the majority significantly older than both your age and Mat’s combined) so you simply grin and carefully lean forward more, pressing a kiss to his mouth.

“I love you,” you murmur against his lips and even if your voice is low compared to the loud, cheesy country music blasting through hidden stereos, you know Mat catches on to that.

“I love you,” he says right back and before you pull away, he bumps his nose against yours gently, making you giggle.

You both take a sip of your drinks and you smack your lips together, content with the turn of the night.

You and Mat had been dating for a few months, but this was the first time the two of you will spend back to back nights and days together without needing to rush somewhere. Of course, a part of you was anxious about it - while it was easy to spend a few hours together now and then, maybe even the odd night together, it was entirely different being together pretty much all the time. There were habits and quirks you each had that might get in the way, but your worries were soon put to rest. You and Mat had wonderful chemistry together, easily able to spend your time together but also still enjoy each other’s company while doing separate activities. You didn’t want to rush into things and you made no move to do so, but it was ever so easy to imagine what living with Mat would be like. And sure, you were well aware of the fact that it wouldn’t always be sunshine and rainbows; the two of you would eventually transition out of this honeymoon-type period of your relationship, but something told you life would Mat would never bore you. It’d never make you wish for anything different.

“Give me a second,” Mat says and before you could ask him what he meant, he’s out of his seat and you follow him across the bar, a little confused.

He makes his way past the bar, past the pool tables and stops in front of what is undoubtedly a jukebox. Curious, you arch an eyebrow and watch as he fiddles with finding the right amount of change before inserting the coins in the slot. It takes him a while before he finds whatever song it is he wants and it takes enough time for him to make it back to your table before the jukebox and sound system registers the request. You don’t recognise the first few notes at all, much less the accompanying guitar strings but you don’t have time to search your memory for a title.

Mat stops by your side, holding a hand out to you. “Dance with me.” It’s more statement than question and under any circumstances, you may have felt a little awkward about doing this, but it’s the heat of the moment and your giddiness that pushes you to your feet, hand in Mat’s.

The two of you are beaten to an emptier area in the establishment by two other much older couples that were closer to it anyway, and you find that gives you a bit more of a boost also. Mat pulls you to him, wrapping one arm around your waist while holding on to your free hand while you hold on to his shoulder with the other. Your fingers lightly clench and unclench the soft material of his shirt, lowering your head a little and you smile against the back of your hand. It’s so painfully cheesy and there’s nowhere near enough other people dancing along to the song but you love it much more than you thought you ever would.

“Know what I’d invest all my money into?” He asks you suddenly.

You pull back a little, still swaying along with the song. “Cryptocurrency seems like a safe bet right now.”

Mat laughs, that big hearty laugh of his that makes your smile wider and when it passes, he presses a chaste kiss on your forehead. “Well, I’m glad one of us has a good head on their shoulders, but no.” He shakes his head, then laughs again, shorter and quieter as if recalling your response. “A time machine. I want to stop time right here and right now so that we can be as we are for a little while longer.”

“Cheesy,” you joke, despite the warmth coursing across your entire body and the jelly-like feeling forming in your knees. “But perfectly understandable.”

“Eventually, we wouldn’t need it, but it’d be nice to have one for tonight.”

“Eventually? How so?” You question, then narrow your eyes a little, the gesture playful. “You plan on getting bored of me and breaking up?”

“What!” He exclaims and pulls you in just that much closer. He lets go of your hand only so he could bring his to your chin, tipping your head back a little. “Never,” kiss, “say that,” kiss, “again.” The final kiss you share with him is a little longer and you take the liberty of bringing your hand to his chest, palm pressing against it to feel the thump of his heart against his ribcage momentarily. Then, slowly, you graze the tips of your nails along his exposed collarbone and peck his lips once more before pulling away. It’s then that the song’s name and artist comes to your mind, almost as an afterthought. From hidden speakers, Brett Young declares I couldn’t live life without you and Mat gives you a pointed stare. “Damn, he said it before I could.”

“It’s the thought that counts,” you assure him. “Either way, I think I prefer hearing it from you, Barzal.”

“I’m pretty sure I couldn’t live without you,” he recites and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. He sways you both in a more exaggerated manner that makes you cling to him more out of habit than necessity. You’ve known you’d trust Mat with anything, but each day, he seems to do something that makes that thought solidify more and more in your mind. The comfort and safety that brings wraps around you like a warm blanket.

Be it the hot weather, the somewhat stifling interior of the bar, the sips of sangria on an empty stomach, the euphoria of the moment or all things combined, you nod quickly. And from somewhere in the depths of your mind, the very bottom of your heart, you respond with, “I can get used to this day after day. So don’t let me go, baby.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he whispers, tone full of care and love and warmth. He gives you his promise without hesitation and you know it’s bound to stick.

Your phone buzzes once.

I’m downstairs. Need help with your bags?

You push up from the comfort of your couch and make one last round of your apartment to make sure you had everything you definitely needed from where it was placed.

I’m good. Will be down in a minute, you text back but don’t pocket your phone right away. Instead, you stare at the screen for a little while longer, half tempted to scroll through the thread of messages. They’d provide a stark timeline of when things started going wrong and you would probably be able to see exactly how things changed between the two of you from the moment you suggested a mere break wouldn’t do it. But doing that would be like breaking a streak you had going for sufficient time to earn a pat on your back. The journey of getting to a point where you were sufficiently okay with being in Mat’s presence without any other company was a long one and the last thing you needed was to recall how it once was.

You and Mat started out as friends after Elise introduced the two of you just a short while before he started his professional career with the Islanders. She talked about how the two of them met in school and how great of a guy he was; real down to earth, funny and incredibly ambitious - traits she also assigned to you, and therefore thought the two of you would get along great. She wasn’t wrong about it. You knew a little about hockey, going to games every now and then mostly whenever Elise dragged you along but you found that Mat made the game more enjoyable. He explained it to you in a manner that didn’t make you feel belittled or as if it should be something you already knew of, and didn’t mind explaining some things more than once. On the other hand, you introduced him to your own hobbies and the little world you created for yourself in a city as big and busy as New York. You showed him the more lowkey but homely establishments, including your favourite pizza place that - unbeknown to you at the time - would become yours and his, and even took him to a few student bars where you regularly beat him at pool while he showed off at darts. Occasionally, it felt weird to watch him unwind in such…normal places and ways while on other days, he shone on ice and was easily one of the best rookies emerging from one of the country’s most well known sports leagues. Yet despite that, you found that athlete Mat wasn’t all that different from Mat the person.

He never put a front and his genuine manner was refreshing to you, particularly during a time when you were still a college student and a good portion of the guys around were textbook frat boys. Being around Mat was comfortable and safe. You didn’t feel the need to speak a certain way or be a different person, and retrospectively, the way you felt towards him developed almost organically. You felt yourself gravitating towards him and were pleasantly surprised by the moments when he’d seek you out first. A day off here and a day off there until eventually, you found yourself spending much of your free time with him and vice-versa.

Falling in love with Mat was easy. Being without Mat was difficult. But, thankfully, not impossible apparently.

Convinced you packed everything you needed, made your way out with a duffle bag on your shoulder and a suitcase at your heels.

True to his word, Mat was parked in front of your place and as soon as you pushed open the building’s door, he looked up from his phone and made his way over to you. The last thing you needed was to make the journey any more awkward or difficult for the both of you, so you didn’t argue when he took the bags from you to stow them away in the trunk.

“Are you going across the country?” You ask, peeking into the trunk while he plays Tetris with the bags.

“What?” He questions, evidently distracted by the task at hand but straightens up when you delicately place a hand on his arm, pushing him to the side a little.

“You’d think you’re going across the country for like, two or three weeks rather than a couple of days,” you repeat. “Maybe put that smaller bag sideways? That might let the bigger suitcase fit.”

He follows your guidance and sure enough, that does the trick: the suitcases fit perfectly in the trunk and you grin to yourself, triumphant.

Mat steps back, closing the trunk and brushes his hands together. “Thanks,” he says and you nod, heading towards your seat in the front. He follows you inside just as you click in your seatbelt. “I don’t think it’ll take us more than two or three hours to get there if traffic’s as good as it was when I checked it a little while earlier. Got everything?”

“Everything important that is. Everything else, I’ll just worry about and pull my hair out when we get there,” you tell him and you can’t help feeling proud for being able to keep conversation light and as normal as you can.

After all, you’ve known life before Mat and you’re rediscovering it after him too.

Mat laughs ever so quiet, and from the corner of your eye, you catch him brushing his hand across his mouth though he’s a few seconds too slow in trying to mask his smile.

“I think I’ll need to fill up soon, but let me know if there’s anywhere else you want to stop along the way,” he tells you while pulling out of the parking spot.

You nod even if he probably might not see it and take the liberty to scroll through radio stations. Mat doesn’t seem to be against it, so you continue switching to them until, a little frustrating that nothing seems to work for you, you connect your phone to the car and play one of your playlists. A mix of upbeat pop and an assortment of viral tracks fill in the silence for a while, and the act of singing along in your head takes your mind away from how it almost feels as if you’re sitting on needles. It takes a conscious effort on your behalf to remind yourself to loosen your shoulders and stop fiddling too much with your hands, and you’re glad Mat seems to be plenty preoccupied with driving. Once upon a time, he would’ve immediately picked up on even the most mild of your discomforts and tried to do anything he could to alleviate them. You don’t know how much, if at all, Mat changed during the time you spent apart but you want to think that you no longer wear your heart on your sleeve as much and your emotions are much more guarded, especially in his presence.

Apparently, though, there’s only so much he can take with silence filled in by music because once he’s off busier streets, he leans in his seat more comfortably and you can tell he very briefly turns his head towards you. “Think they’ll like their wedding gift?”

You direct your gaze away from the flashing scenery outside to Mat. “Absolutely. Who wouldn’t like it? Trust me when I say Bali’s been a place Elise always wanted to visit and I can’t think of a better time than now,” you assure him.

“If they don’t, it’s on you,” he says and it takes you a beat longer to realise he’s just joking so you huff out a laugh, relaxing back in the seat.

“If they don’t, they can give one of the tickets to me and I’ll happily go there.” You cast a glare out at the scenery ahead, eyes narrowing upwards towards the overcast sky. “I don’t think summer will ever come at this rate. I’m starting to hate it here.”

“Doubt Baltimore was any better,” Mat points out.

“Hardly,” you sigh. “Maybe I’ll ask them to send me to Miami instead. That’d be much better.”

Mat clears his throat quickly, shifting a little. “So, are you planning on going back to Baltimore or... Why are you back?” You catch sight of the frown forming on his face, and he quickly shakes his head as if trying to rid the hint of accusation from his voice. “That sounded wrong, sorry. But just genuinely curious. I thought a permanent move was on the table?”

“It was. Still is, but they needed me back here to wrap up a project. It was a pretty bad move on their behalf to send me there before we had that wrapped up nice and neat, bow and all, but I guess…” You trail off, shrugging a shoulder. “Guess we’ll see what’s next after that. They do want me back there, though. It just depends how long it takes for things here to fall into place.”

“Fair enough.” Another pause, another moment for him to press his lips together in silent deliberation. He did that often, and you wonder if that remains a habit still. “Was it a promotion? I forgot, sorry.”

“All good,” you assure, brushing off the apology. “Not a promotion per se, but a sidestep with just a slightly bigger paycheck. The office there is a bit smaller than the New York one so maybe there’s a higher chance of getting promoted sooner, but I don’t want to jump the gun on that yet. How did things work out for you guys this season?”

The Islanders had a good season, making the playoffs but fell just short of making the semi-finals, you knew that. After all, you hadn’t removed the Islanders game and news alerts from your phone and you put that on your laziness. You wouldn’t shy away from admitting to him you still followed the team’s progression, but you preferred not to.

“Could’ve been better but there’s lots to learn from it,” Mat tells you and there’s a trace of excitement and determination in his voice. “Next season will be even better, I guarantee.”

It’s a staple Mat response, one he always gave if he felt a game didn’t end in their favour or he didn’t do as much as he thought he should have. Sometimes, it took him some time to accept it. Usually, it came to him after pushing himself in training, after going that extra step in the gym, after re-watching highlights or coach videos and always - always, you’d assure him that it takes a team to move forward, not a single person. Always, he’d kiss you and tell you he loves you and always, you’d spend those moments wrapped up in each other’s arms, more often than not with Mat’s head resting against your chest and your leg slung around his hip.

“Plenty of time to lift that cup, Barzal,” you assure him. “Sure, the sooner the better but there’s always a right time for everything.”

“I hope so,” he agrees pensively, and lingers on that thought.

You let him to it, directing your attention back to the view outside and only now and then picking up your phone either to switch songs or browse through a few applications. A part of you feels almost obliged to try and push for conversation but you avoid doing so. The last thing you need is to make it painfully awkward for the two of you and you figure Mat could always do that himself if he feels like it. So, you let your mind wander to better things - to the upcoming rehearsal and the wedding itself, to how good Elise will look and how Tito will be so proud to watch her walk the aisle towards him. You imagine their reaction to the gift you and Mat contributed towards and smiled to yourself, knowing it was a perfect pick for them both.

You don’t think about telling Elise you and Mat had lied to them. You don’t think about passing this hurdle - the final one before you two will become strangers to one another. You don’t think about how the next time you might both see each other again, you’ll both have such different lives that for a brief moment, the surprise of it will knock the air out of your lungs before you remember: that’s him without me, and this is me without him. And you won’t be the first or the last people to break up, but a part of you is certain what the two of you had was unique and could’ve been grand. So much grander.

You become more alert to your surroundings when he starts slowing the car and you notice you’re pulling up into a gas station. As much as space allows you, you stretch out a little and Mat stops right by one of the pumps.

“Want something for the road?” You ask him, unplugging your phone and taking your card from your bag.

“Hold on, I’ll come with you,” Mat tells you and it doesn’t take long for the refill to happen before you both walk into the station’s store, beelining for the snack aisles even if you have only two hours or so until you reach your destination.

“Oh gosh, those are going to be a nightmare to clean up if you spill any in the car,” you groan quietly as he browses through the variety of Nerds flavours.

“But they’re so good though,” he shoots back and flashes a smile that is nothing short of sly when he picks up two boxes instead of one.

“Yeah, until the flavour runs out literally two seconds after you put them in your mouth. I mean, enjoy that but I’m different,” you boast and pick up a bag of sour candy.

“You just like obliterating your taste buds.”

He’s not wrong. Sour candy and spicy foods are your guilty pleasures, and have been for the longest time. You don’t try to look into how easily he recalls that because, you tell yourself, there’s nothing to look into. It’s a mere fact that anyone who knows you would easily recite.

“You’re wrong and you know it, but admitting that is difficult so it’s fine, Barzal. No hard feelings,” you throw back, snickering as you head over to the fridges for a bottle of cold water. Instinctively, you grab another for him and instinctively, he takes your candy and the water to pay for them but you still tag along with him in the queue.

“No shot. I like some spice but to the point where I literally can’t taste anything else? Hey, remember that one time when you made something… Can’t remember what it was but it was so…” He purses his lips and you laugh because yes, yes you remember it so clearly.

“So good you ended up crying over it?” You offer.

“More like, I wasn’t crying but it was so fucking spicy, Y/N, holy.”

“You survived though, didn’t you?”

“I only did because there isn’t a thing you do I don’t like,” he says and then, seems to catch himself but a second too late. “Didn’t like,” he corrects quietly but the damage is done.

You swallow uncomfortably, directing your gaze away from him but don’t hesitate to nod towards the outside. “I’ll head over to the car. I’ll text Elise to tell her we’re close.”

“Y/N—“

But you’re already taking steps towards the exit and out of ear shot, making a beeline for the car. Your heart thumps rapidly and uncomfortable in your chest and find that pressing a palm to your left side doesn’t make it any better. You know it’s an innocent mistake and there are some habits that die hard, but the way he phrased it triggered your fight or flight instinct instantaneously and despite yourself, you leaned towards the latter. You enter the car and take the time to compose yourself as much as you could. The last thing you need is to have a conversation with Mat about this because you didn’t want to have it - it shouldn’t happen for the sake of avoiding making the situation even more uncomfortable. It was an innocent slip up, no doubt, and you should’ve braced yourself to speak of Mat in present tense as opposed to past tense in the presence of others but it comes to you harder than imagined.

It’s odd how you both once knew so much about each other, everything even, and now the two of you are reduced to dancing around all that and making conscious efforts to keep your conversations as short and banal as possible.

You try and busy yourself with formulating a message to Ellie, one that’s long enough to try and make you seem as busy as possible by the time Mat returns to the car, but every line you wrote, every mini paragraph going into dull details about the trip and where you guys currently are seemed like an overthrow. So, you delete that also and simply text her an OTW just as Mat sets the sweets on the centre console and the bottles in the cup holders.

He doesn’t start the engine immediately and your mood quickly switches to frustration. Sure, you hadn’t handled it in the best way possible but trying to have a conversation about it wouldn’t make it any better. Or at least, it’s just something you didn’t want to have to think about for the remainder of the journey.

But he does just that, because that is what Mat always did: he talked with you.

“I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable,” he begins, “I didn’t mean for it to come out the way it did. It’s force of habit more than anything else.”

“It’s whatever, Mat, so just move past it. I did, simple as that,” you tell him neutrally.

There’s something in that response he must have not liked because you pick up on his small huff and shortly after, the car starts and you’re both on the road again. This time, with silence between you and an atmosphere so heavy it makes you wish you weren’t speeding down an Interstate just so you could open the window and let some of the air in.

The hotel the wedding will be held at lies in front of you, sprawling and secluded and perfect for an event like this. Tito is already at the entrance and when he spots Mat’s car, he waves quickly while Mat quickly flashes the headlights before pulling into an available parking spot.

“There they are!” Tito says by way of greeting and you walk right into his outstretched arms, hugging him. “Can’t believe so much time passed since we last saw each other. What is it, two months? Three?”

“Three,” you confirm once you pull away so that Mat could hug him also. “It’s good to see you too. Where’s Elise?”

“She wanted to check on some small details and said she’ll meet up with you guys in a bit. So here I am, the welcoming committee,” Tito explained and when he and Mat stepped apart, he reached out to give you another short hug which you accepted. “So how was Baltimore? Don’t suppose you liked it all that much if you’re back so soon. This guy was happy about it,” Tito adds, nodding his head towards Mat who was already busy emptying the trunk.

You press your lips together, displaying a small smile. “Baltimore wasn’t too bad but they missed me here, apparently. Can’t complete a damn thing without my two cents so here I am for now.”

Tito frowns, but the expression is very brief. “For now? We’ll need to talk more about that later so Barzy doesn’t mope around as much as he did back then.”

You throw a quick glance towards Mat but he’s looking away towards whatever interesting spot on the ground he found, pointedly ignoring you. “I’ll have a word with him about it later,” you tell Tito lightly and together, the three of you make your way inside, towards the reception.

“I think Elise is in the room at the end of the corridor if you want to say hi,” Tito informs you and you jump at the opportunity.

You follow the corridor, making a right turn and continuing along the dimly lit hallway leading to what the signs informed you to be Conference Room 1. The door is slightly ajar and you begin picking up on the buzz of activity coming from within and soon enough, you’re face to face with a spacey room boasting an array of flowers and various arrangements tastefully decorating tables and drooping down from the ceiling. No doubt, the effect will be lovely during the night when colourful neon lights can be turned on. You spot Elise easily: she’s in the midst of the room with what is undoubtedly the scrapbook of ideas she’d been carefully putting together since Tito asked her to marry him. Outwardly, she’s all smiles and laughter but you can imagine the amount of effort and planning putting all of this together and working with planners takes.

When she spots you, she squeals in excitement, sets her book down and dashes across the room to engulf you in a hug, making you stumble a few steps back.

You burst into laughter and wrap your arms around her, squeezing her with just enough force to try and communicate how much you missed her but not so that it was uncomfortable.

“I missed you! You’re here!” She exclaims, stepping back to look at you in disbelief then hugging you again. “Oh my gosh, I’m so happy you’re here! Where’s Mat? Is he here too?”

“Of course he is,” you assure her with a laugh. “I missed you too.” You throw a curious glance towards the room over her shoulder, nodding your head towards it. “How’s it going? Need me to take over for a bit?”

“Maybe later. Definitely later. Come on.” She wraps an arm around yours and leads the way out of the room, undoubtedly back to the reception area where you left Mat and Tito. “Please tell me Baltimore is off the table. FaceTime is fine, sure, but it’s not great, you know? I need the real deal next to me. Besides, I’m not sure if you heard, but Mat wasn’t Mat without you.”

“So I heard, but forget about us!” You said in a desperate attempt to try and steer attention away from the subject. “Tell me about how everything’s going. Are you still nervous about it? Because trust me, Elise - you have absolutely nothing to be nervous of. What I’ve heard of so far and what I’ve seen will make it the absolute best day, surely.”

“Of course I’m nervous,” she tells you and to demonstrate, she holds her free hand in front of you and sure enough, there’s just a slight tremble to it. “Please lend me some of those nerves of steel of yours, Y/N, I’d do anything to have even a small percentage of them right now.”

“Pft, as if. Those are all show, trust me.”

“I’ll take even that. Oh, Mat!” She greets as soon as the two of you reach the reception area and Elise spots Mat.

Much like you and Tito, they hug and when she steps back, she immediately stands next to Tito who doesn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. They exchange a quick kiss and you smile at the happiness and bliss they’re clearly surrounded by.

It’s the slight pressure on your lower back that makes you jolt a little on the spot and it’s then you realise Mat had gently placed his hand there to encourage you a little closer. It takes effort on your behalf to follow his guidance but you move towards him, though you wish you could physically wince at how undoubtedly stiff the two of you must look. Or hopefully, not greatly so because neither Tito nor Elise comment on it or shoot you any funny looks as the four of you engage in brief conversation, mainly surrounding the trip here and any other guests they expect to receive today.

You don’t hang around much, though. Elise’s phone begins buzzing incessantly and she’s whisked away by the message received, but not before she fixes you with a pointed stare and demands the two of you have drinks later in the evening. Tito follows her also, even if he informs you and Mat that he feels as if he’s running around in the right places only because of Elise and the wedding planners, but you encourage him on by joking he could maybe turn a few candles on the tables this way or that for some extra oomph.

“I can’t imagine how she does it,” you admit to Mat once the elevator doors slide shut soundlessly and the car begins moving upwards to your floor.

“Pretty sure it’s not that big of a deal to her, given what all this is leading to,” Mat tells you and you detect a hint of detachment in his voice.

You don’t welcome it, of course you don’t, but you choose to not point that out to him. The last thing you want is an argument to break out the relatively okay mood the two of you have managed to hold, recent events that could be erased from memory aside. Instead, you simply stand back quietly, eyes glued on the red digital numbers aside until they come to a halt on the ninth floor where the elevator stops and you’re both left in a silent, dimly lit hallway.

Mat has the key to the apartment Elise told you the two of you would be in and just before tapping in, he hands you your own copy of it. Up until this very moment, you hadn’t thought very much of the overnight arrangements. You were pretty sure you meant to ask Elise a bit more about them at some point but both your attention and hers were pulled in different directions and here you were, stepping into your place for the next couple of nights, Mat trailing a little behind you.

You stop, arms folding across your chest and you feel Mat stop somewhere close behind you, looking into one room.

“I didn’t think this through,” you state neutrally.

Ahead of you lay only one bed.

#mat barzal #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fic #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #nhl fic #*#the synopsis sucks but i'm bad at short summaries lol #i had this idea since i first joined hockeyblr and i'm happy to have finally found the motivation to write it #anyway i have a vague idea for some scenes #and there will probably be three MAYBE four parts to it

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purplerain85 · 3 years

Text

Neron ‘Creeper” Vargas x Reader

Words: not sure I wrote it through my phone But this ended up being a lot longer then I thought it would be.

Warnings: Swearing, Smut, Oral female receiving, mention of male receiving, usage of toys, fingering, slight bondage.

A/N: its been a long ass time since I wrote something let along smut, but I got inspiration about Creeper while I was watching Mayan’s the last two days. So to say that I am nervous is beyond an understatement. I love comments, criticism good and bad and what I can do better. So I hope you enjoy.

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Dom should have been his nickname short for Dominate! Because that is what Neron 'Creeper' was in every sense of the meaning and word! As much as he tried to hide it but you knew as soon as you met him just the way he talked, the way he carried himself and you were bound to not only be his girlfriend but his sub who would like to push every single god damn button he had.... which is why you were in you current situation.

You had met Creeper 6 months ago at at one of the Mayan's club house parties you came with a couple of girlfriends you stood out from the crowd in more ways then one. While your friends wore dark blues and black you wore a neon green mini dress with a black leather jacket. Your laugh was loud which made him smirk every time he heard your laugh. You noticed him staring at you an hour after you got there and as much as you wanted to go talk to him you were pretty shy and wanted him to approach you, but he never he just watched you.

Then two weeks later he finally introduced himself and when he said his name was Neron but everyone calls him Creeper, "well that makes sense now" you thought to yourself. Then a couple weeks later one of your friends bet Angel that she could bet him at pool, which he lost and was a spoiled sport about. Creeper said he could beat anyone which made you Ha! out loud and he asked you to play which you accepted but made the bet not about money "if I win you have to take me out on a date!" You wagered, he nodded and said "sounds good, but if I win you have to suck my dick!" You acted shocked but very turned on while your friends "ooohhh!" You acted like you had no idea what you were doing, he got a couple balls and he got cocky saying things like "I cannot wait to feel your beautiful mouth around my dick" or "I cannot wait to fuck your mouth" then you turned and looked at him and gave him a sinful smile and sunk every single one of your balls and Creeper stood there shocked and your friend laughed and said "I have known Y/N for almost 20 years she has never lost a game of pool!” You laugh as you put the cue stick down and said "I will see you at 7 tomorrow"

That was 3 months ago you started dating Creeper shortly after that night. It didn’t take long for you to notice he was holding back a little in the bedroom you could tell he wanted to do more then tap your ass (it literally felt a little harder then a tap) and grip your hair. You wanted him to choke you, pull your hair, slap and grip your ass, mark you. Little did you know in the beginning that all you needed to do was push some buttons and not listen when he told you to stop something. It happened when you at a club house party and EZ was behind the bar and you were being friendly with him Creeper saw it as you were flirting, and when he came up behind you and had his hand on your ass and whispered for you to stop flirting, you rolled your eyes and scoffed at him saying you weren’t flirting and went back to your conversation with EZ. Creeper gave him a look that you didn’t see and EZ excused himself. Creeper gripped your ass hard which cause you to jump a little and slap your hands on the bar and grip your nails in the wood, he told you again to stop with a smirk on his face and walked away.

You stood there shocked for a minute before you recovered and finally knew what you needed to do to get him to finally bring his dominate side out. You had to push his buttons and best believe you would. You put your plan into motion the next day it started with small touches while you talked to other guys, being very friendly with them, three days later Creeper was tense and moody. On the fourth day you text Creeper that you were going shopping

Me: Hey babe hope things are good, about to go shopping at [sex shop store name] to get a new toy

Creeper: WHY?????

Me: Why not? Need something when you are not at home or on the road.

Creeper: That should be a given no toys allowed!

Me: Oh such a shame that I don’t wanna listen

Creeper: You come home with a toy and you will regret it!!

Me: I am calling bullshit, You won’t do shit!

Creeper: Woman try me and see

Me: Aren’t they Beautiful the purple one has thirty different speeds and the little one seemed fun it can be controlled by your phone :)

Creeper: Woman you just wait tell I get home.

Me: Pfft, OH OK (insert smart ass tone) off to my next stop. [Lingerie store] which I won’t show you later

What you bought***

Creeper was on edge because he kept messaging asking what you bought and you ignored him which pissed him off even more. You finished shopping 2 hours before Creeper got home, you used his hide-a-key to let yourself in and got the toys out of their boxes washed and now they are charging, you hoped into the shower and got ready, you decided to go for your favourite black dress. Little did you know you probably should have gone with your least favourite dress.

You were in his bedroom when you heard the front door open and slam you gasped when you heard the door, Creeper shouted out “Woman where are you!” instantly you were very shy and very intimidated you have never heard his voice like that, but this is what you wanted, needed. Creeper walked into the room, he had rope in his hand and you didn’t even have a chance to get yourself into a “sexy postion” you were stood there with the egg in your hand and looked like a deer in headlights. But to Creeper you looked just as beautiful, he walked over to you tossed the rope on the bed and took the egg from your hand and looked over it, he had did his research during the day and downloaded the app for the egg he just needed to scan the code and get it hooked up.

He looked at you and told you to “strip out of your dress” you looked at home for a second before he raised his voice and said “Now!” you finally found your voice you smirk and said “Make me” Creeper rolled his eyes at you and grabbed your throat, you moaned out so loud “if you wanted me to dominate you, all you had to do was ask, not be a pain in my ass” Creeper said. He kissed you roughly while his hand was still on your throat his other hand when up your side to the top of your dress right breast then while still kissing you his other hand left your neck and met with his other hand ripped your dress right down the middle, you pulled back and said “that was my favourite black dress!” Creeper isn’t even looking you in the face he is too occupied with your lingerie set, “this is going to be my absolute favourite set, and I wanna promise I won’t rip it off of you but I cannot” he says. He picked you up and tossed you on the bed and got on top of you and said “you going to be able to keep your hands to yourself or am I gonna have to tie your hands.... never mind you like touching so tying your hands it is.” he ties your hands to his headboard.

You moaned “please Neron, please for the love of god please mark me, choke me, spank me, own me.... Please sir.” You opened your legs wider and you could feel his hard on through his jeans. Creeper felt like he was going to explode from you calling him Sir, and said “keep calling me that”. He started kissing down your jaw down to your neck and sucked some bruises on your neck, he moved down to your breast and left some bite marks and reached over to the nightstand table and grabbed a bottle of lube and continued kissing down your stomach and hips and leaving more bruises and bite marks.

He bit your mound and grabbed the egg from his pocket then pulled your thong to the side and licked from your opening up to your clit you moaned and begged for more but he pulled away and grabbed the lube and added some to the egg and to you and started to push the egg in you tensed a little bit “relax baby” Creeper moaned to you, he got the egg in and pulled away from you and grabbed his phone and chair and took a seat and the edge of the bed then turned the egg on the lowest setting and instantly your legs closed and you moaned “sir!!!” his voice boomed “open your legs!” after a couple of breaths you managed to open them again, but they closed again the moment he upped the vibrations a couple notches. He huffed and got up and walked to the closet “where are you going? Sir please don’t leave” you whined.

Creeper walked back in with a bar with cuffs on the end and walked back over to you he says “sorry” and rips your thong off and kisses your knees and your first orgasm hits you, then pushes your legs apart and attaches the bar to your ankles and opens the bar a bit so you cannot close your legs. Then returns to the chair and continues to up then lower the vibe until you cum two more times. Then he gets up removes his clothes grabs the 30 speed vibrator that you bought today and removes the spreader bar set the vibe to medium and brings two fingers to your clit and you jump and moan.

Creeper moved his fingers down to your opening and brought his face down to your core and inserted his fingers the same time he attached his mouth to your clit and swirled, flicked, pressed his tongue to you clit and moaned at the taste of your juices he slowly moved his fingers in and out of you. You moaned that you were about to cum he says “cum on my face, wet my beard” you cum hard and lose your breath for a couple seconds. Creeper moves up your body to your covered breast he pulls down the cups to revel your nipples and while he starts sucking on your nipples his fingers were still moving in and out of you. He kisses you once he pulls his fingers from you and puts them in your mouth and you suck them clean and moan around them, then he moves to his knees and slams into you and gives you half a second to adjust to him before he starts thrusting, you can feel yourself getting close and tell him you need to cum, he says “no not yet, hold it for me” you try and manage to breath a little then shriek when you feel the purple vibrator attach to your clit and start to pull on the ropes and beg “Neron Please please untie my wrist please Oh Dear God PLese!!!!!!” Creeper leans over and unties your hands and one instantly goes to his wrist with the vibrator on your clit to ground yourself and the other hand went to the one on your stomach and you laced your fingers with his and you are chanting his name and begging to cum.

He tosses the purple vibe pulls out just long enough to pull the vibe out and tosses that as well then pushes back into and drops down to your face and grips your neck and your hair and kisses the air out of your lugs then bites your lower lips and says “I need you to cum, baby cum for me, cum now” he is thrusting his hips so hard then you cum hard so hard that you grip Creeper so hard that he cannot pullout, he loves cumming inside you so he isn’t concerned he cums, and again tries to pullout and again he cannot he looks at you and you look so fucked out he kisses your lips and cheeks, forehead. “Can you lay down on me please, you won’t crush me and clearly she is not ready to let you go just yet” you say. He lays down and snuggles close with you and says “I love you” you smile and rub his head and say “I love you too”

The End

#neron vargas x reader #neron creeper vargas #neron vargas smut

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darthmaulification · 3 years

Text

din djarin nsfw alphabet

A/N: i STILL have writer’s block when it comes to all the other stuff i have to get done that it’s INFURIATING. 🙄😤😡 i literally write two (2) sentences, and then my head says “no thoughts, all done :)”.

so anons still waiting on your stuff, have faith, i will get them done eventually!! 🙏🙏😭😭

but i want to get more stuff out more regularly, so take another nsfw alphabet, my brain is melting. 💗

(again, i imply fem!afab!reader and also, there is sensitive content (abortion) under X)

nsfw below the cut! 😘

A = aftercare (what are they like after sex?)

Din may be a bit unsure at first, but he is so sweet when it comes to aftercare. He’s got a caring nature already, and when it comes to making sure you’re clean, comfortable, and content after sex, Din is very soft and gentle. He’ll be asking you the whole time about what you need, how you’re feeling, complimenting and praising you for being perfect. Once he’s done making sure you’re okay, Din will conclude every time with kisses and cuddles, holding you close to him all the while whispering to you in Basic and Mando’a about how much he loves you.

B = body part (what’s their favorite body part of their partner? what about themselves?)

Honestly, Din has spent so long without showing someone else any part of him, that he is fairly insecure about how he looks. He’s a tad... embarrassed by his body, because he wants it to be perfect for you, but he doesn’t feel like it is (of course, you think he’s perfect). Din has a lot of self-criticisms, he worries that he’s too old for you, that his nose is too big for your liking, that he’s got a soft tummy and not like men your age. So Din doesn’t have a favorite body part, he’ll just like anything that you like.

Now on you... Din is a big fan of your face. He comes from a culture where one’s face is kept hidden unless you’re family or spouse, so to have you in all your glory and beauty is almost overwhelming to him. He loves your eyes especially (windows to the soul, and all), how they’re so expressive, what they look like when he’s fucked you cockdumb... all glossy and hazed... Din also loves your lips in particular too, the smile that tugs them up, what they look like when you say his name... and for another obvious reason that tends to happen when you’re below his belt on your knees...

(Also Din is a boobie man, full stop).

C = cum (basically anything to do with cum)

Din cums a lot, and he wants it all over you. If you let him, he’ll splatter his nut on your face, belly, breasts, ass, and other places that he loves and wants marked. He likes seeing you all messy and sticky, covered in the stuff that he creates just for you. Din goes kinda feral though if you beg him to cum inside you, allow him to bottom out and let loose past your tight cervix straight into your womb... makes his brain fizzle out. Also, Din’s cum tastes abnormally sweet, almost too sugary, much like the sweet man himself.

D = dirty secret (what’s their dirty secret?)

Din wants to be cucked. Like he really wants to watch someone else fuck you (consensually, of course), and him not being able to do anything about it. It’d be such a fucking tease and edge for him that the thought makes him feel some sort of way in his pants.

Also, not so much of a secret but still dirty, Din can play the role of a dom to a T, but in his heart, he’s a sub. Just take the reins on day, there’s not much he’d be compelled to do to stop you.

E = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Most, if not all, of Din’s sexual experiences before you were clumsy, quick fucks with sex workers at brothels or cantinas. He had most of them when the desire became to high to ignore, so really the closest around satisfied him enough. And although most of the conquests had no specialness or emotion to them, they did shape the way Din moved around bodies, aided in his ability to please and such. So Din is rather experienced, he knows what he’s doing and how to make things steamy, but he’s really never been able to truly connect with someone before. Even though he’s well versed in the art of sex, there’s a few learning curves for him to accomplish, particularly making sure he meets your needs the way you want them met, not how he thinks you may want to do things.

F = favorite position (what’s their favorite position?)

By far, Din loves nothing more but to bend you over a table, or the console board of the Razor Crest, and pound into you from behind like there’s no tomorrow. He loves to have the warmth of your ass, heavy and plush, against his pelvis all while he’s up to the hilt inside your core. Din also likes the control it gives him, having you squirming and moaning under him, one of his hands heavy on your back keeping you down while the other squeezes your thighs and hips, or plays with your clit. Din might also get a bit grabby with your hair, pulling back your head enough so that he can nibble at your neck and hiss all the dirty things he wants into your ear.

The close second for his favorite position though is having you tied up to the bed, wrists and ankles bound. It’s one of Din’s favorite sights in the entire galaxy.

G = goofy (are they the more serious type, or more humorous?)

Din is serious about making sure he’s doing all he can to make you a moaning, cockdumb mess, that’s for damn sure. He’s very driven in that regard, serious about the task at hand and all the things he has to do to make sure you know just how much he loves you. Din isn’t a stoic robot though, he’s too vibrant and compassionate of a man for that, so he’ll being saying sweet things to get you to blush and smile, grinning against the shell of your ear before kissing your neck, maybe nipping playfully at your ass or stomach too... Din knows how to give a good time.

H = hair (how well-groomed are they?)

Din is a functionalist, so he likes to keep his bush below the belt to a minimum, or at least manageable, so he trims it and sometimes shaves it fully. Though he does have a tendency to let it grow a bit if he’s having a dry spell or if he just doesn’t have the motivation... but once the tuft starts catching on the zip to his pants (he goes commando, the dork), that’s when Din knows he’s got to shave. All his body hair elsewhere; head, face, legs, back, arms, etc, Din doesn’t care much about except his moustache and tasteful stubble which he does really like to keep. Of course, Din keeps everything as clean as a whistle.

On his partners, Din doesn’t have much of a preference, but he does lean towards someone who at least keeps their stuff trimmed (and clean, of course). However, he won’t force you to do anything, it’s your body, your decisions.

I = intimacy ( how intimate are they during sex?)

Just... so intimate. Of course, Din fucks like a beast in rut, but he’s so consuming and raw with it, it’s nothing short of perfect. Din wears his heart on his sleeve, so sex is constant “I love yous” in every word and action, even when it’s all vulgarity and dirty and horny, but it’s love nonetheless. You’re able to feel it from how he presses against you, molds against you like liquid heat, how his hands make your body his own, how he kisses you with stars in his eyes, how he tells you over and over again both vocally and silently, “Thank you”.

J = jack off (do they masturbate?)

Mm... it depends on his mood. He masturbated more when he was younger, when he had more time and drive to do so. Though once he got older, and life happened, and he’s almost non-stop running around chasing quarries... Din’s just too darn tired. It got even less so when Grogu came into his life, because oh my Maker the horror Din would feel if somehow his son caught him in the act. But Din is only human, and has that accursed Mandalorian sex drive, so sometimes the urge does rear it’s head, and he’s gotta make his hand and penis best friends again.

Doesn’t help when you’re occupying his thoughts either.

K = kinks (any kinks?)

Y’know that cliché where it’s like “normal looking person whose an absolute freak in the sheets”? Yeah, that’s Din. This man is the epitome of that. Here’s his kinks:

Bondage. Din really likes the sight of you tied up on the bed, at his mercy like a bunny in a hunter’s trap. He wants to have you bound by your wrists and ankles, maybe even tying you to the bedposts, and fucking you senseless while you beg to be able to touch him too. Din favors using handcuffs (technically binders, but Star Wars lingo is silly sometimes), but he’ll use whatever you’re okay with too. And, of course, if bondage isn’t your thing, he won’t ever force you to do it. (psst, Din doesn’t mind being tied up either)

Spanking. Kind of the only aspect of the “S” part of BDSM that Din will every really partake in. He likes landing a good few firm swats on your flanks, likes seeing your ass and thighs jiggle from the force of it, the bright flush that may appear afterwards if you let him go at it a while. Din also likes just being able to touch your ass too, so a nice spank to your bottom becomes the physical message of “You’re in for it tonight, mesh’la”. Oh, and he’ll make you count.

Daddy kink. Oh Maker, if you call him Daddy, he’ll lose his mind. Din has such a big Daddy kink that even if you call him it in a nonsexual situation, he’ll be feeling that warmth until he’s able to steal you away and rail you good. He loves being the Daddy and you being his “Sweet girl” or “Cyar’ika”... the dynamic runs him wild.

Breeding/pregnancy kink. Din wants to fuck a baby into you so badly he dreams about it. It’s been impounded into him that family and parenthood are really big deals, so you bet your ass he wants to fulfill that part of his Creed by making sure your pussy’s stuffed, womb is filled to the brim, and your breasts are swollen and milky. Din wants so so deeply to see you pregnant with the kid that you and him make, he desperately wants a family with you.

Breast/nipple kink. Yeah, Din really really likes your tits. There’s something about the shape, the texture, size, weight, etc that activates some primal monkey part of his brain that has him drooling. Din loves to knead and fondle your breasts, roll them under his large hands, press them together, watch the soft flesh squish and mold around his fingers. He especially loves the cute nipples of yours, pinching them between his fingers, tweaking them. Din also really likes sucking on your tits, leaving marks all over them, playing with your nipples with his tongue...

L = location (favorite place to “do the do”?)

When you both have the opportunity, Din really really likes taking you in a good, proper bedroom, something that the uncomfortable, tiny bunk on the Razor Crest really doesn’t account for. If it were up to him, he’d want to spend his entire life with you in bedroom fit for a king, taking you over and over again on a mattress that feels like a cloud. It’s no shock then whenever Din actually shills out the credits (being the frugal man he is) to buy a hotel room is the sex borderline godlike.

M = motivation (what gets them turned on?)

A sure-fire way to get Din fully and completely riled up would be to wear something real scandalous. Be that a shirt that shows a tad bit more, or pants that are tight enough to reveal you aren’t wearing panties, or (Din’s favorite) a set of cute lingerie... Din will get hard in his pants. It’d be even more so if you tease him in public, but be warned he’ll fuck you mean for that.

N = NO (what’s their turn offs?)

Very early on, it was, obviously, taking off his helmet. If you asked, or Maker forbid tried, the mood would drop pretty extensively if not entirely from Din. He’d get uncomfortable, go silent, and the first time it happened, he left the room. Removal of the helmet was a very big one before he eventually showed you his face.

After you’ve been able to kiss his face over and over again and cry because you think he’s so beautiful? Nothing comes to Din’s mind really besides the kinks that are... nastier. Like literally, y’know... some other bodily... stuffs. Anyways, Din is pretty adaptable when it comes to kinks/positions and stuff. The pros of already being a kinky man...

O = oral (do they have a preference in giving/receiving?)

Okay, Din really loves his dick sucked. The way that you wrap your lips around his shaft, kiss the tip of his penis, fondle his balls, lick and slobber on him... makes his eyes roll to the back of his head. He especially loves being able to watch you try and take all of him in your throat, seeing the tears of pleasure squeeze out your eyes, the way you hollow your cheeks around him and suck. Din loves it when you go down on him.

... Now that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like going down on you. There is no place Din would want to be more than with his face between your legs, lapping at you like a starving animal. He’ll spend hours with his mouth on your cunt, swirling his tongue around your clit, driving orgasm after orgasm from you until you’re shaking from overstimulation and begging him to stop. Din loves your pussy, the way you taste and smell... drives him wild.

P = pace & PDA (are they soft, sensual, rough, or feral? are they open to displaying the relationship?)

Din will most often rail you into the mattress with a fervor. He tends to fuck hard, and he likes to play rough. The pace he keeps is something that makes you see stars every time he thrusts, when he ruts into you so hard that your entire body moves. However, Din does this all with a type of passionate sensuality that leaves you in tears, he fucks you sure, but it’s also fully fueled by unwavering love. When he’s feeling especially sentimental, Din will indulge on this love, and he’ll go slower, deeper, make you feel nothing but the weight of him.

And PDA... Well, Din doesn’t take the helmet or beskar off in public, so PDA is every time Din steps in front of you to shield you protectively, it’s when he offers to carry whatever you’re holding, it’s when he fights for you, it’s when he stands close to your side, when he sends you long side-eyed glances that make you feel the love, it’s when he nudges your shoulder with his, when he lets you wrap your fingers around his, when he drapes you with his cloak, surrounding you with him... It’s the little, subtle things, the personal things that mean you’re closer to him than anyone else.

Q = quickies (what’s their opinion on quickies?)

Maker, yes. Din becomes kinda addicted to having sex with you, so any and all chance to pull down his and yours pants and rut you both into a quick release is perfect for him. They don’t happen all that often, you’re both too busy most of the time, but if there’s a window of opportunity, Din will take it.

R = risks (are they okay with experimenting? do they take risks?)

Din’s kinda a big baby, so anything you may want to try with him in the bedroom that’s out of the norm will have him a stuttering, blushing mess. Most of the time though, once you’ve explained whatever you’re wanting enough, he’ll be down to do it because he knows you’re fine with it, and so is he. Though Din has his limits, a few things in particular that he’d never risk: safety and his Creed. He won’t ever try something that would potentially put the both of you in mortal danger, and wouldn’t do something that breaks his Code. Other than that, Din does enjoy pushing the boundaries a little once you’ve started, and he might even become more advantageous.

S = stamina (how many rounds can they last?)

Din can last long enough, that’s for sure. He’s not borderline superhuman like some other men, but Din doesn’t tap out early either. With the skill he has with his hands, he’s easily able to make you cum a couple times before he dicks you down, and sometimes he’s even able to draw out an orgasm or two when he’s balls deep inside you. It all usually depends on his energy level, if he’s pumped up and well rested, expect a long, long night, but if he’s so tired he can barely keep his eyes open, honestly he might just cum if you jerk him off a little bit.

Though sleepy sex with Din, although it’s very short, is also a bit of an exercise in absolute trust with him. He’s able to fall asleep in your arms, all worn out and buzzing from his orgasm, it makes him feel fully at peace.

T = toys (do they own/use any toys?)

Haha, no. Din is such a minimalist, he didn’t own any type of luxury like that, unless you count the handcuffs, but he technically uses those for his job. It really is he just doesn’t have the space nor the credits he’s willing to spare, and he didn’t have a partner before you so really it would’ve been pointless for him. But now that he’s got you in his life (and bed)? Yeah, Din might splurge a little bit and buy some things to make your romps a bit more... interesting. Be that a vibrator, some silky rope, a plug... just some fun things.

U = unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

He likes to tease, because edging you edges him and that satiates the deep-rooted sub inside of him. Din likes to have you begging for release just as much as he likes the feeling of his cock practically screaming to sink into your velvety core. The teasing really goes both ways, even if Din is the one who’s technically doing all of it. He also gets really into dirty talk (for as long as he can actually speak) and will be saying all sorts of nasty things in your ear like “C’mon, cyar’ika, tell me you want my fingers” or “Pretty girl, use your words. You want my cock or no?”.

V = volume (how loud or quiet are they during sex?)

Din is loud, but in a quiet type of way? He like... whisper yells, like his voice is already naturally low, so when he’s got you all in his grasps it’s like the volume of his voice doesn’t increase, but the intensity does? Din fills the room, essentially, being the only thing you hear, even over your own moans, squeals, screams, etc. It’s mostly a lot of strained dirty talk, like each word Din says to you is determined, but he’s got to push them through clenched teeth because his dick’s twitching so hard and your pussy is just too good... and shit, once you’ve drawn the first moan out of him, it’s over for him. Din will be moaning. Once he’s lost in the sauce, which happens sorta quickly, Din becomes just as incoherent as you, maybe being able to babble out something about seeing you fat with child or maybe about how well you’re swallowing up his cock, but it really devolves into lengthy, horny moans and hefty grunts. So yes, our man’s is loud.

W = wildcard (what’s a random headcanon?)

Din loves when you tell him how much you think he’s attractive. He’s spent basically his whole life with his face in a bucket and his body in armor, so he’s never gotten compliments about his authentic self before. This kind of hampered his self-confidence and racked up his insecurity? Din doesn’t necessarily have any specific qualms with how he looks, but he also is very unsure of how you think of him. So when you tell him that you love his face; his crooked, hooked nose, his soft, honey brown eyes, his patchy stubble, and even his ridiculous moustache... it makes his heart soar.

This same sentiment goes for his body too, which Din does have a couple of more prominent issues with. For one, he’s a tad soft around the middle (age + indulging himself + taking excessive off days = weight gain) which makes him feel semi-insecure about what you may think when you don’t see chiseled, perfect abs, and he’s just generally self-conscious about his age. But when you’re fine with it? When you say you find his chub endearing?? That he’s really not that old and that he shouldn’t worry about it??? Din is beyond happy.

And in a complete 180, Din has a very high sperm count. Like astronomically high. A medical marvel type of high. So... if you indulge on his desire for a big family... expect a lot of little Djarin brats really fast.

X = x-ray & x-tra (what’s underneath those clothes? any more random headcanons?”)

Din is built like a himbo. He’s built like he’d ask you what pussy size do you wear when he buys pads for you. He’s built like the dude that comes into the store you work at every so often who’s just so captivating and out of this world handsome that you stare at him as he looks at the same thing he always does, until he leaves after not buying it for the third week in a row. He has a very good figure, muscular in all the right places from a lifetime of brutal physical activity. Din’s arms and shoulders are probably his best feature, the entirety of the appendages being toned with taut, powerful muscle and perfect for holding you. His chest is quite toned as well, though his pecs are softer and have a smattering of chest hair brushed on the muscles. Although he has a relatively trim waist and a defined Adonis belt, Din’s belly is actually pretty soft. He’s like a muscular boy, but with a bit more chub (if anyone gets that reference, you’re extra sexy), so Din doesn’t have a defined set of abs. He does have a dark happy trail that leads to the special someone between his thick-muscled thighs.

He also, from time and age, has a bit of a weathered look to him that makes him look experienced and jaded. His body also has a smattering of scars, most of them old and silvered, from scuffles and fights he’s had in his past.

Big Dick Cum Daddy Din is hung. His penis is a mouth-watering 9 inches (22.86 cm) of throbbing glory, not overly girthy (2 inches, 5.08 cm, in width) but perfect nonetheless. He has a very prominent vein on the bell end of his cock, as well as fairly defined ridges on the sides, like he’s fucking ribbed for your pleasure. His penis is actually circumcised, so the head of his cock gets especially red once you’ve got all the blood and horniness in his loins. Din’s balls are perfect too, weighty things that hang a bit lower that only shows their virility.

Din is pro-choice. He’s a firm believer in people having autonomy over their bodies and having the ability to choose. So when it comes to abortion, even though the thought admittedly makes Din a little uncomfortable, he would fully support his partner choosing to have one, if that was their decision.

Also, Din is a bisexual icon, I don’t make the rules.

Y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Yes. Ever since you come into his life, Din is horny like a teen boy all over again, it’s almost ridiculous. At the very beginning, it’s just a lot of him fantasizing about what he wants to do to you, because A) you’ve both just met, B) his Creed, and C) it’d be so embarrassing for him for you to find out how much you affect him. But once you two start getting closer, and spend weeks and months dancing around each other, Din starts to get a bit more flirty, more frisky. You definitely start noticing how much he’s wanting you, so really it comes to the point that at any time you reciprocate your feelings and consent, Din will be on you in a second. After that first time, it’s over for y’all. Din will want to fuck all the time, everywhere, whenever possible. Your pussy becomes his dick’s permanent home.

Z = zzzz (how fast do they fall asleep after?)

Din isn’t an easy sleeper in general, so after sex it’s really not much different. It always takes a while for him to fall asleep, so you’ll definitely be passed out before he even starts to feel tired. He’ll spend most of his time after making sure you’re taken care of with his exquisite aftercare, and then mumble sweet nothings to you as you fall asleep. Even after you’re out, Din will still lie awake and talk to you quietly about anything and everything that comes to mind before he eventually falls asleep too.

#star wars #star wars din djarin #the mandalorian #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you

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astaroth1357 · 4 years

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Demon Brothers being Soft for Their Daughters

Might just be me but I think there's nothing cuter than a Dad who loves his daughter so I made a hc for our boys. Strap in, it’s a long one!

IMPORTANT! Watch out for first half spoilers! Assumed that the child is a half human/half demon with the MC!

Lucifer

Tries to be really strict but ends up being kind of a pushover.

Oh there ARE rules that even his little girl can't break, but most of the time she can get away with almost anything if she's cute clever enough.

Pushes her to be the best at almost anything she tries, expectations be real high; gonna take the MC stepping in to remind him winning isn't everything and please cool it on the pressure.

Lowkey learned his lesson before and doesn't want to make another Satan situation so tries to take MC's advice to heart and not be quite so controlling.

Her favorite uncle is Mammon and he gets cold sweats about this every night.

Wasn't able to be there for a lot of her firsts due to work and gets real sulky when he misses out. Videos just don't offer the same experience...

Feels bad that work keeps him so busy so he tries to make up for it with toys, clothes, jewelry, pretty much whatever she likes at the time.

Would never admit it, but his black heart melts every time he comes home and sees she's excitedly waiting by the door.

One of those parents who will never stop bragging about how amazing their kid is to anyone who will listen, but never when she's in the same room.

100% that overprotective "I'm going to give you a brief tour of the torture chamber, then we’ll browse my whip collection. Oh, make sure she's home by 8" kind of dad if she were to ever bring home a date. They will know that his baby is not to be messed with (like anyone's crazy enough to try honestly).

Mammon

So over the goddamn moon that someone actually wanted to have a kid with him that he couldn't shut up about it for weeks.

Treasures his little girl more than anything he owns, even Goldie. When she's a baby the two of them are practically inseparable.

The biggest pushover to ever be pushed. She's about the only person he's ever unconditionally generous to and he really spoils her rotten.

She's just as materialistic as her father, honestly, but MC made sure their girl was raised with good morals. The first of which being no stealing. Ever. She works for every cent she spends.

On the one hand, he's actually pretty damn proud and relieved that she won't be called "scum" or anything like her father, but on the other hand like… Ew. Who raised you? (No one remind him it’s kind of his doing anyway).

For once in his greedy existence, he can tell a sob story about really needing that loan or those shoes for his beloved daughter and actually mean it… most of the time 😏

Even when she's young, though, she will ask him if a gift he's giving her was taken from someone else and, man, he cannot lie to her face. People shame him for stealing all the time but the little look of disappointment she gives him hurts WAY more than all of his brothers’ insults combined.

Probably one of the most supportive and involved dads in existence. He will be at every game, every recital, every meet. Even if he's complaining the whole time, if anyone so much as suggests that he just shouldn't go he'd be appalled.

…. He's perhaps a little too involved because he's also totally the kind of father who will lowkey stalk his daughter's dates to be sure nothing bad happens. MC, please step in. She needs privacy too.

Leviathan

Was incredibly worried about having a kid, he's not even had the best track record when it comes to pets and parenting is some high-level normie stuff. But his little girl's first smile absolutely melted his doubts away.

That being said… he's still not the greatest with little kids. For a long time if the baby so much as sneezed unexpectedly he'd start shouting for the MC and checking every website he can like??? My half demon baby won't stop sneezing, is it pneumonia???

Gets a lot less panicky as the child gets older, but in those early years he'd practically want to stick them in a bubble wrap suit.

He passed on his love of the ocean and underwater creatures pretty early on. The running joke is that his girl knew how to swim before she knew how to crawl.

Family aquarium trips are an absolute must.

The second they're old enough to understand plot he's introducing them to his favorite shows, but only the best (and most child-friendly) ones of course. He wants his daughter to grow into a woman of culture, damnit! Pop culture that is.

Sooo much text/chat lingo between these two. It's not her fault really. She was bound to pick it up but man can it sound like they're speaking tongues at times.

With practice she can and will beat her old man at most video games and, yes, it makes his cry tears of equal parts pride and aggravation.

Has a mini-panic attack every time she hits a new milestone, like, yes he's so fucking proud but also don't you think she's growing up too fast??? MY BABY GIRL!!! 😭😭😭

Cries like a baby to the MC when she goes out on her first date because he realized she's really, truly, growing up and he's afraid his little girl isn't going to want to spend time with her lame old dad anymore.

Satan

Tries to be strict and IS strict but mostly on schoolwork.

Her grades best not be slippin' or this Book Papa will take all her stuff away. End of discussion.

Otherwise, he's surprisingly chill being the Avatar of Wrath and all. He of all people understands the desire to just have your own life and do your own thing.

She'll inherit his temper though, that's a given, and if they both get going then watch out. Fights between them can get verbally explosive, but never physical. Even at his angriest Satan would never once lay a hand on his daughter.

Read to her every night when she was young: storybooks, novels, mythologies, didn't matter to him. Whatever she wanted to hear. Still, he was so proud the day she told him that she wanted to read on her own.

100% makes nearly everything in life a teachable lesson but also helps her when she needs it. He wants her to forge her own path but is still very supportive when the situation calls for it.

Would never EVER admit it, but he does just as many dad jokes as Lucifer.

Of all the brothers, he's probably the most typical father to have, there for his kid just enough while also making sure they're not getting away with murder.

Is totally chill with her dating because he knows he doesn’t have to be super protective of her. She can more than handle herself if something goes wrong, in fact, if he were to step in it would probably add insult to their already grievance injury.

That being said, he IS the Avatar of Wrath. If someone hurts his girl he’s going to have a turn one way or another.

Asmodeus

Oh YEEESSS, he's not normally the commitment kind of guy but he and MC raising a child? They'd be the most gorgeous thing in the universe!!! (Not counting himself of course)

Beautifying his baby since day one, but the MC keeps him from doing anything too extreme. A lot of baths, good moisturizer, hairstyling (when she grows enough of it), etc.

Soooo many outfits. She'll practically never wear the same thing twice and Asmo coordinates his own clothes to match hers all the time.

He actually goes out and parties LESS if you can believe it, especially when she's young and needs a lot of supervision. But he'll get pent up real quick so learning how to do a quiet quickie during naptime is a must.

His girl is all over his Devilgram, nearly every milestone is snapped up and recorded. He loves her more than anything and would just scream about his pride and joy from the rooftops if social media didn't provide him that outlet.

Makes sure his daughter knows that she is gorgeous, she is loved, and passes on every bit of self-confidence he has. Doesn't matter if she grows up a girly-girl, tomboy, or anything else under the sun. When you're feeling good just being you, heads will turn on their own accord!

Not the best at discipline and would only really step in if he thinks she's being a real jerk about something. Day to day attitude adjustments are totally up to the MC.

He is, however, the best sex-ed teacher one could ever ask for and makes sure his daughter knows there's no shame in what comes natural, just be sure you're respectful and responsible!

Completely unfazed when the suitors began lining up, I mean she is HIS daughter. It was inevitable. Offers tips and advice when he can but lets her go off and experiment naturally. Young love is a beautiful thing! (Just don't break his girl's heart though because he may lowkey curse your whole bloodline)

Beelzebub

….. MC, you're going to be eaten out of house and home.

Though his daughter's appetite isn't AS bad as his, Beel could tell it's going to be an issue from day one but he's ready for it.

Dedicates his freaking life to being sure she never goes one night hungry. He'll cook, he'll shop, he'll even share from his own plate if he has to. The thought of her going through anywhere near the level of starvation he feels on a daily basis is enough to crush his soul (if he has one)

You better bet there will be eating competitions. She never wins, but the fact she can even get close will have him grinning anyway.

That being said, he will push for a healthy and active lifestyle for her too.

Highkey wants her playing sports and doing team activities because he genuinely thinks it will help her stay healthy and make friends.

Just the right amount of discipline. Tries to be understanding but also knows when to call a spade, a spade and express his disapproval.

Very in-tune to her emotions and her needs even if he can’t quite grasp WHY she's feeling the way she is. Keeping up with teen drama is going to be the bane of his existence...

Uncle Belphie=That one cool uncle who lets you get away with anything and probably gives out sugar after bedtime.

One of the only brothers who makes a point of his daughter also seeing and exploring her human heritage too and not just treating her like a pseudo-demon… And it's totally not just for the added excuse of sampling human world cuisine, like, come on who do you take him for? 🤫

Somewhat cautious about her dating, but ultimately just wants her to be happy. He'll usually trust her judgment but he's pretty good at reading someone's character and if he gets real bad vibes from anyone he's not above telling her, "No. Not that one." Whether or not he's listened to depends on the situation.

Belphegor

Lol MC, you could have picked a much better choice. Borderline Deadbeat/Cool Dad here!

Kids… not his thing. He doesn't dislike them exactly, they're just a lot of work and he's sort of allergic to that. He's more of a semi-irresponsible babysitter type.

Case in point, "Belphie, watch the baby" becomes "Belphie, if you're going to take a nap at least hold onto her leg so she doesn't go anywhere."

Only saving grace is she takes after him so most days she's pretty dang sleepy too. Naptime is a good third of the daily routine (not that anyone is complaining).

Shit at discipline because, like, what leg does he have to stand on? If she wants to ditch class, why not let her? Once or twice ain't that bad.

Takes her on a lot of "field trips" to the human world like he would with Lilith. Genuinely wants her to experience both sides of her identity and encourages her to explore her human side just as much as her demon.

The kind of chill dad that you feel comfortable going to when you've got to talk out a problem or need life advice. He might not be able to offer many answers, but he tries in his own way.

Will prank his kid and will not feel sorry, but is never cruel about it. In fact, this will only spur on a mutual prank war between the two.

Uncle Beel=that genuinely nice uncle who tries to teach you life lessons and how to take care of yourself… while also eating a ton of food.

Would be super confused at first if she started dating like?? How? He kind of sees her like a mini-him at times and his human came to him. Since when did she stay awake long enough to leave the house?? But otherwise he goes with the flow. Whatever she wants, her life.

He might get a bit more agitated if she starts to date a human, like, lowkey bad flashbacks to the whole Lilith situation and the MC would probably have to cool his jets about it. Different circumstances after all.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me headcanons #obey me luficer #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me scenarios

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