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ja3yun · 2 months

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Royal Sacrifice | S.JY

prince!jake x maid!fem reader warnings: fluff, angst, smut (mdni), unprotected sex, cream pie, heartbreak, my attempt to write posh-ish, anti-monarchy vibes throughout, mentions of violence, petnames (my love, sweetheart), not proofread, anything else lmk! wc: 7.1k synopsis: your secret relationship with prince jaeyun is all you could have dreamed of, however, you're rudely awakened when your lover tells you some devastating news.

part 2 a/n: surprise! you're all sick of me i know, but i wanted to post this before it sat in my drafts too long and i overthought to the point of never posting it </3 i changed up my writing style a little to fit the aesthetic of it all and idk if it worked but enjoy anyway! also, this is for the people asking me to post more jake <3

"Tonight demands nothing short of perfection from each and every one of you. Not a single mishap or slip-up will be tolerated. Should I catch so much as a hair or button out of place, rest assured, I will personally request your head." The Chamberlain's voice, firm and commanding, spreads through the grand corridor, her gaze penetrating the maids and footmen.

As she paced back and forth, the bright torch cast a soft glow against the polished marble floors, illuminating the intricate patterns etched into its surface. Each uniform was meticulously inspected, and every seam and crease was subjected to intense scrutiny. The weight of the impending event hung heavy in the air, thick with anticipation.

Tonight, within the confines of the castle walls, the royals and social elite would congregate for the year's largest gala. It was an exhibit of greatness, with the chosen guests flaunting their rank and power.

For the last seven months, you have wandered the castle's hallways as an insignificant maid to the Royal family of Glengyre. Your hands were battered from hours of labour and your spirit dwindled to the hardships of the job, but you had to do it.

You weren’t exactly invited into the castle, in fact, you had snuck your way in through the war tunnels underneath and begged the head housekeeper, Miss Son, to place you on her team.

Being born into a working-class household, you were all too familiar with the misery of poverty. With your parents absent and your siblings relying on your meagre earnings from the bakery, you carried the burden of duty from an early age. Survival had been your main priority, with every move controlled by the never-ending search for food and security; this was the job you needed.

Once you convinced Miss Son to give you a position, you were mindful to keep a low profile, sticking to your duties and never causing trouble. You dare not even breathe too loud next to the monarchy, each of them vicious and gruel in their own ways.

Yet amidst the icy family, there existed one beacon of warmth and compassion - Prince Jaeyun, the only heir to the throne.

He was the kindest man you had ever met, his values and ideals so drastically different from his fathers; all he ever wanted was peace and equality for the kingdom of Glengyre. His opinions echoed your own, his vision for the kingdom a testament to his noble character.

Everyone adored him, captivated by those puppy dog eyes and his wide, wholesome smile. Jaeyun had a magnetic charm that drew people to him effortlessly.

And yet, amidst the throngs of admirers, he reserved his heart only for you.

Jaeyun was familiar with all the staff, each face and name etched into his memory. So, when you suddenly appeared to clean the Library, he took immediate notice of you.

“I don’t believe we have met,” Jaeyun bows his head slightly to you, causing confusion to spread over your face. Men of his status shouldn’t be talking to you, let alone show you this level of respect, “Has The Chamberlain begun to hire new staff for that god-awful ball already?” he chuckles.

You’re transfixed by his question and his beauty, it’s not every day a Prince speaks to you, let alone so casually.

With this being your first job at such a level, you don’t know what to do. Typically, all maids get training and lessons on how to approach any member of the Royal Court, however, due to the nature of your employment, that part was skipped.

Jaeyun raises a brow, “Miss, are you alright? You look dreadfully pale,” he shows concern for you, even when he has no need to.

Quickly, you bow, “I am so sorry, Your Highness. I-I have been here for a while. Perhaps I have just blended into the background,” you offer as an explanation.

“A woman as beautiful as you could never blend in with this dreary decor” he smiles, holding out his hand, “Can I push you for your name?”

He waits expectantly, his palm outstretched as it waits for you to place your delicate hand into his. You didn’t need training to know you should never touch a member of the Royal Family, so you stay stagnant.

Noticing your apprehension, Jaeyun smiles and reaches his hand down to grab yours. You don’t want to say you felt a spark as soon as his hand graced yours but between you both, you could easily power up the castle generators.

He feels it too, the pull you had on him has been cemented by this moment, “I’m Prince Jaeyun,” leaning down he kisses your knuckles, maintaining eye contact with you as he does so.

The Prince is mesmerising.

“Y/N, Your Highness. My name is Y/N,” your voice is wavering as your body is shaken by his act. You aren’t scared of him, you’re just shocked by his kindness.

“Y/N…a name as breathtaking as its owner.”

Since that day, Jaeyun hasn’t left your side, his presence constant as he finds any excuse to be in the room you’re working in, his conversations tailored to draw out your thoughts and passions.

To him, your background was irrelevant; he saw the depth of your character and your mind's brilliance. Every exchange deepened his admiration for you, weaving an unbreakable bond between you both.

Secret notes and clandestine meetings became the norm, each encounter is a stolen moment of shared laughter and intimate conversation. Jaeyun was captivated by your wisdom and fascinated by your unique perspective on the world.

In your second month at the castle, on the moonlit balcony of his bed chambers, he kissed you, declaring his love for you in the same breath. From that moment on, he was not just a prince but your prince, devoted entirely to you.

The Chamberlain gives you all one final check before sending you out, her excitement palpable as she practically squeals, "Places everyone, this is a big night!"

As far as you and the rest of your team are concerned, tonight is just another ball, one hosted nearly every month. But The Chamberlain's demeanour suggests otherwise - someone vastly important must be attending. The air crackles with anticipation, and whispers ripple through the servant ranks, speculating on the identity of the esteemed guest.

As you all fall into line at the entrance, you wait for the party to begin.

The sight of everyone's extravagant gowns and suits is awe-inspiring. Each guest seems to sparkle, adorned in riches that could feed your family for years. It serves as a striking reminder of the kingdom's vast disparities. Meanwhile, the servants stand in their modest uniforms, hardly visible amid the sea of finery.

It irks you to know that these people, who all have some power in ruling your home, could not care less about the people within it.

“You two, come with me,” The Chamberlain beckons you and the girl beside you to follow her, snapping her fingers as she hurries you along to the kitchen.

With little instruction, she thrusts a tray full of champagne into your hands. “Once empty, you come right back. I do not want to see one moment where you are not serving some form of beverage. Understood?”

“Yes, Madam Chamberlain,” you both say in unison as you bow and make your way to the Great Hall. The palace is now teeming with people from all corners of the kingdom, the room resonating with laughter and chatter. You'd find it enjoyable if you deemed any of these people tolerable. Drinks disappear and reappear from your silver tray, and not a single word of gratitude is uttered.

Finally, the Royal family enters the hall, with the King standing strongly at the front and his Queen elegantly alongside him, their presence commanding attention as they survey the gathering with royal poise, looking for the most important person in the room beside themselves.

However, Jaeyun is not like the others. Amidst the pomp and its beauty, his sight is drawn to a person considerably less notable.

In an instant, his attention falls on you, a delicate smile gracing his lips as he lifts his brow in discrete acknowledgement, a silent greeting in a noisy environment. The difficulties of being in a secret relationship with someone so far above your social status weigh hard; even in the same area, being seen with Jaeyun is a luxury you cannot afford.

Excusing himself from his family, he greets people on his way over to you, captivating the whole room as he does so. To everyone else, he appears to be merely working the room, exchanging pleasantries with ease, but you, standing in quiet anticipation, know better.

In that moment, it's as if the entire hall fades away, leaving only you and Jaeyun in your own private world. He moves closer, each step filled with purpose, each smile and gesture meant only for you.

As he approaches, his every move exudes royalty. It’s impossible to deny that Jaeyun was born to be king.

"Can I take one of these to lighten your workload?” Jaeyun asks with a playful glint in his eyes, already reaching for a flute of champagne.

You dip your head in a respectful curtsy, mindful not to spill the drinks as you balance the tray precariously. Miss Son's strict instructions echo in your mind - no engaging with royalty at events, let your body speak for your tongue.

But sometimes, Jaeyun takes that directive too literally.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Jaeyun says, his voice low and intimate. You hear a collective sigh from some nearby girls, their attention momentarily diverted from their own conversations to admire the Prince and his effortless charm.

Walking to stand next to you, his arm brushes yours as he looks in the opposite direction to you, he whispers just loud enough for you to hear, “Should I tell them I’m happily taken or would you like to put them in their place after hours?” his tone is laced with playful mischief.

“I would much rather occupy my time after hours with someone else,” you reply with a smirk, keeping your head facing forward to maintain composure.

You can't see it, but you feel the shift in Jaeyun's expression, a flicker of excitement, a hint of anticipation. His eyes dart briefly to yours, a silent exchange of mischief passing between you.

“Well, tell him he’s the luckiest man in the world,” Jaeyun responds, his voice tinged with amusement.

“Doesn’t he already know that?” you retort, a lively glint dancing in your eyes.

Jaeyun's hand lightly grazes your back, “Believe me, he will never forget,” he says wistfully as he turns away, seamlessly slipping back into his role of mingling with the guests. The lingering warmth of his touch leaves you breathless, your heart pounding with excitement at the thought that despite the separation now, he will be tangled in your body and soul later on.

The rowdy girls behind you giggle, their voices rising over the bustle of the hall as they discuss the Prince's past escapades with their cousins and sisters, whispering about how they hope they could spend just one night with him.

Jaeyun's reputation spread beyond the castle gates. He was renowned as a charming playboy, a Casanova whose dalliances sparked chatter across the kingdom. Every week, a new maiden appeared, talking about their alleged "hot affair" with the heir. It was enough to make anyone apprehensive, and you were no different. You maintained your guard up at first, rejecting his advances, refusing to become just another conquest in his succession of women.

But the more you spoke with him, as you shared moments and secrets in the quiet corners of the palace, you came to realise that the instant flurry of admiration you felt was not one-sided. Jaeyun's heart beats for you and you alone.

You discovered in him a love that went beyond gossip and whispers, a love based on trust and understanding. With that realisation, your reservations vanished, replaced by a deep assurance that Jaeyun was yours, and you were his, now and forever - or for as long as you could keep this illicit affair going.

The bell sounds, its loud chime cutting through the murmurs and whispers of the gathered guests, signalling you and the others to proceed to the main door of the castle.

"May I please introduce King James and Queen Elizabeth of the Lethamhill Kingdom, and their daughter, Princess Mia," the Master of Ceremonies declares, his voice full of power.

The announcement strikes like a thunderbolt, bringing the audience to a profound silence. Nobody had expected the arrival of the Royals of Lethamhill and the astonishment is evident as you look around to see a sea of stunned faces. Whispers spread like wildfire across the crowd as each visitor grapples with the implications of this unexpected situation.

Lethamhill and Glengyre are currently involved in delicate discussions about the possible unification of the kingdoms, a topic of enormous political importance. According to what Jaeyun has told you, these conversations have been stressful, with no definite agreement reached so far. The presence of the Lethamhill Royals at this gathering signifies a historic point between the two kingdoms.

The struggle between the two kingdoms has caused irreparable destruction, including starvation, poverty, sickness, and a staggering loss of life. It would take something genuinely extraordinary for both parties to put aside their differences and work together in peace.

Your eyes meet Jaeyun’s across the room, and you can see the fury simmering beneath the surface of his composed facade at the sudden intrusion. Yet, even as anger flashes in his eyes, you can sense the weight of responsibility pressing down on him.

No one knows quite how to react to this unexpected turn of events, each guest grappling with their own thoughts and fears as they await the next move from the Lethamhills.

“Please, do not stop on our account, continue the festivities,” King James proclaims, his voice carrying a jovial tone, a vibrant smile gracing his features.

As the party continues and dinner is served, guests settle into their assigned seats, laughter and conversation filling the air as they merrily drink the castle dry. Surprisingly, the presence of the Lethamhill Royals doesn't disrupt the flow of the event, instead, it seems to enhance it. Many see this as a reconciliation party now, eagerly awaiting the announcement that could potentially solidify peace between the two kingdoms.

Your role for the evening is clear: shut up and stand to the side, only interacting if called upon. It's undoubtedly the most tedious part of the night. Being on your feet for hours on end, catering to the whims of the guests is exhausting enough but enduring the occasional push or intentional spillage of drinks on your uniform from some of the more unruly guests adds insult to injury.

The other worst part of the evening was the sight of Princess Mia draped all over your lover, her hands roaming possessively over his chest and arms as if they were hers to claim. Each touch felt like a dagger to your heart, stirring a tumultuous mix of jealousy and hurt within you.

Jaeyun attempted to gently remove her, pushing her away with as much politeness as he could but she stubbornly refused to listen. Occasionally, his eyes would flicker to you with a sympathy, silently communicating his regret at the situation and how you must be feeling. He would never wish for you to be hurt.

Telepathically, you reassure him that it's okay, that you understand and trust him implicitly. After all, it's not his fault that another woman - a tall, beautiful, rich, and powerful woman at that - feels entitled to touch him. His efforts to remove himself from the situation already speak volumes, and you take some solace in his unwavering loyalty.

But despite your attempts to rationalise, the bitterness lingers, a bitter pill that's difficult to swallow.

Standing on the sidelines affords you the opportunity to observe the dynamics of the entire top table, not just Jaeyun. The Kings engage in whispered conversations and the Queens gossip amongst themselves. It's as if no blood had ever been shed between their kingdoms.

The casual camaraderie displayed by those responsible for the devastating conflicts between their kingdoms makes you sick to your stomach. How can they be so chummy, so nonchalant, when their irresponsible fighting has caused so much pain and suffering to countless lives? It's a reminder of the callousness of those in power, their indifference to the consequences of their actions leaving a bitter taste in your mouth.

Suddenly, you see your King rise and tap Jaeyun on the shoulder, ushering him into an undisclosed location. The urgency of the gesture sends a ripple of apprehension through you, and you can only presume that he is finally letting Jaeyun in on the reason for the Lethamhills' unexpected presence.

“Why do you suppose they are here, Y/N?” Heejin, the girl to your right, asks in a hushed breath, her voice tinged with concern.

“I can’t say for certain, but I fear it won’t be for the champagne and escalope,” you reply, turning to face her, your expression mirroring her worry.

And when Jaeyun re-enters the hall, you know that your apprehension was not unfounded. His face is devoid of the charismatic expression he had worn for most of the night.

The king wears a stern expression, clearly unamused with whatever his son has to say in rebuttal to his conversation.

Something is deeply wrong

You scream at him with your eyes, silently urging him to look at you, but he doesn't, his gaze fixed straight ahead. It's clear that whatever transpired in that conversation has deeply unsettled him, and you ache to know what happened.

“Excuse me, Miss Son, but may I please go to the lavatory?” you ask your head maid, hoping to slip away unnoticed. Her disdainful scoff is the only response, urging you to return quickly.

With a bow of gratitude, you glide towards the exit, silently willing Jaeyun to notice your movements and follow you. Your eyes briefly meet his, and he nods, understanding your need for a private conversation.

You arrive at your usual secret spot - the Council Chamber - a place where every decision is made and policies are signed. It's a room steeped in history and power, but also secrecy and intimacy. Old men come here to dictate the fate of the kingdom they supposedly love.

Jaeyun recommended this particular room as a defiant ‘fuck you’ against societal norms of hierarchy and privilege. It's ironic, considering he's made love to you on every surface of the place, turning his statement from metaphorical to literal.

Tracing your fingers over the spine of the old book laid on the desk, the door swings open suddenly, causing your heart to race with surprise. You quickly straighten up, trying to compose yourself as Jaeyun strides into the room.

“Did I frighten you, my love?” he asks softly, a hint of amusement in his voice as he approaches you.

You shake your head, “No, not at all,” you say trying to ease yourself, straightening your uniform and brushing the dust off your front. He always laughed when you tidied yourself for his presence, a habit when you’re faced with Royalty. You’re hardly unacquainted, the portraits hanging on the room walls can testify to that.

Finally reaching you, Jaeyun's hands find their way to your hips as he traps you between him and the oak desk. His eyes glance behind you to see what you were looking at, his chin resting on your shoulder.

“Ah, the old laws that have kept this country from falling apart. To be lived and breathed by,” Jaeyun's voice carries a mix of sarcasm and despair.

“Laws that keep the rich rich and the poor poor,” you respond bitterly, your thoughts drifting back to your family and friends struggling back home.

Jaeyun's hands move up to your back, offering a reassuring rub. “I hate it too, Y/N,” he admits, his heart heavy with the weight of his people's suffering under his father's rule. He hugs you tighter, a silent reassurance of his solidarity and commitment to change, commitment to you.

Leaning back, he strokes your face adoringly with his middle finger, “You look so delicate tonight,” his voice conveying his love for you. Even dressed in rags, he still thinks you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.

“More delicate than Princess Mia?” You don’t mean it to come across as bitter, yet, it does.

Jaeyun shakes his head disapprovingly, a tiny glint of amusement in his eyes, “My darling love, are you jealous?”

“She is ravishing,” you reply. Princess Mia is everything you are not, it wouldn’t be misplaced for you to be slightly envious of her. You know the Princess could have anyone she desires, and if circumstances were different in which Jaeyun wasn’t hopelessly in love with you, she could probably have him too. That information would unsettle any lover to know.

Jaeyun places a feather-light kiss on your forehead, “She doesn’t hold a flame to your light, Y/N,” he says with such genuine love that you might believe him if you weren’t clad in a spilt-on uniform and tired eyes that reflect the brutality of being a measly servant.

But Jaeyun would never see you that way.

His lips swoop down to yours, capturing you in a breathtaking kiss, planting his deal of assurance on your lips. The way his mouth is melting into your own is enough to make your knees lose their strength. Jaeyun’s thumb rubs your hips tenderly as he deepens the kiss, trying to make the taste of you last the rest of the night.

Pulling back for a breath, you recollect yourself, smiling at him happily but as you gaze into his eyes you see something sorrowful hiding behind him. It wasn’t until this moment you forgot why you even snuck away to see him in the first place.

“The King seemed displeased,” you state the obvious, hoping he will enlighten you somewhat to the reason for the private discussion.

“He is an idiot, nothing more,” he spits back, eyes avoiding yours as if he’s scared of you suddenly. You have never seen him so angry yet sullen.

Reaching your cold palm to his warm cheek, you begin to pry further, “Jaeyun-”

Your query is cut short by his lips once again enveloping yours, the intensity of his kiss a silent plea for you to cease your questioning. It's unlike Jaeyun to keep secrets from you; usually, even the most classified information finds its way past his lips and into your ears. So naturally, his reluctance to share the details of his conversation with the King sets off alarm bells in your mind.

But as his touches grow more insistent, his lips trailing fiery kisses along your neck and his fingers daringly inching up your skirt, your thoughts become increasingly muddled. It's difficult to focus on anything other than the intoxicating sensation of his tongue against yours, the warmth of his body pressed against yours.

You hate that he won’t confide in you, that he's keeping you in the dark about something so significant. Yet, at this moment, you find yourself unable - and unwilling - to complain. Not when every touch, every caress, sends sparks of desire coursing through your veins.

“Jaeyun, I don’t have time,” you manage to groan out amidst a wave of pleasure, the urgency of the situation gnawing at the back of your mind. Miss Son could come looking for you at any moment, and you've already pushed your luck by leaving your duties unattended. There's simply no way you can disappear for long enough to satisfy Jaeyun's desires.

But he seems determined to ignore your protests, his fervour only intensifying as he continues to explore every inch of your body. In this stolen moment of passion, time seems to stand still, the outside world fading into insignificance as you lose yourself in the intoxicating embrace of your forbidden.

With each caress, each whispered endearment, you feel yourself falling deeper under his spell, unable to resist the magnetic pull of his affection.

But as much as you crave the blissfulness of his embrace, a nagging voice in the back of your mind reminds you of the consequences of your actions. You can't afford to be caught in such a compromising position, not when the stakes are so high and the dangers so real. Just down the hallway is a room full of people who would kill either of you for this affair.

"Jaeyun, we can't," you finally manage to gasp out, your voice tinged with desperation as you push against his chest, trying to put some distance between you. "Someone could walk in at any moment."

For a fleeting moment, Jaeyun's passion seems to falter, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his features. But then, with a determined glint in his eyes, he pulls you closer, his lips claiming yours in a desperate kiss.

"I don't care," he whispers against your lips, his voice husky with desire. "I need you, Y/N. Now more than ever."

The tone of his voice dings your attention, it’s pleading and needy which would be normal if his words didn’t waver, lip quivering slightly. The conversation with his father had affected him more than you know, and he dared not confess what it was regarding.

With a sense of urgency in his veins, Jaeyun hoists you onto the desk, his hands promptly pushing your skirt up and yanking down your underwear, revealing your core to him in all its delicious glory. His breath stops in his throat at the sight, and his need for you becomes stronger than ever.

He licks his lips hungrily, wishing he could taste you, savouring the wetness that gleams between your thighs like morning dew. He wants to drink you in and lose himself in your folds.

But time is not on his side, he knows this, nonetheless, the throbbing between his thighs, the thumping want for release, is too strong to ignore. He was so desperate for you to suck in his cock with your heat, he didn’t think he had the restraint to wait for it any longer.

His need for you is mirrored in your face and body as you edge yourself closer to the end of the desk, spreading your legs as he undoes his ivory dress trousers and lets his shaft spring free of its constraint.

“Can I please?” he asks softly but with urgency, the tip of his member already primed to enter you, the question just a matter of formality at this point.

“Please, Jaeyun, have me,” you whisper into his mouth and with a low groan of need, Jaeyun surrenders to his instincts, his desire overwhelming as he slips inside you with effortless ease. No matter how many times he makes love to you, the sensation of being so intimately connected to you never fails to amaze him. It's as if you were made perfectly for each other, two souls destined to intertwine. He thanks God every day for bringing you to his side.

His thrusts are pointed, to make this quick while also giving you both the release you desperately needed. Your tight pussy grasps every inch of him deliciously, accommodating his size yet giving him just enough resistance to squeeze the tip of his cock.

Gripping his shoulders tightly, you anchor yourself to him as he picks up the pace, his movements becoming more frantic with each passing moment. You moan loudly through your bitten lips, trying your hardest to stay quiet; he was pounding into you so good you just can’t help the noises leaving your mouth, completely rending you dumb to his touch.

The sound of your gasps and mewls fills the air, a symphony of pleasure that drives Jaeyun wild with desire. Each cry, each whimper, only serves to fuel his drive, pushing him further into the depths of ecstasy as he loses himself in the rhythm of your bodies moving together as one.

Arching your back leaves the nape of your neck exposed, inviting Jaeyun to sink into it with his teeth, easily leaving a red mark. It’s the first time he has ever done something like this, to leave physical marks on your body that aren’t the bruises from his tight grip; those were easy to hide, but this one wouldn’t be.

“Ah, Jaeyun, what are you doing?” your bated breath whisps past his ear yet he doesn’t hear you, lost in the feeling of fucking you silly. He sucks and licks at the base of your throat, possessed by his need to claim you as his.

“My love,” he brings his face up to lock your eyes together once more, his cock hammering into you still with force, “Tell me you'll be mine forever," he begs, his words hanging in the air between you like an urgent vow. The intensity of his stare and the sheer emotion in his speech leave you breathless, your heart racing in your chest as you try to find the words to answer.

Tears fill his lashline, and his eyes are unexpectedly vulnerable. In that moment, you can see the depth of his love for you and also his sudden fear that he might lose you. The sudden change in emotion takes you by surprise, your Jaeyun who is usually confident and strong in moments like this is now yearning for confirmation of your love.

"Yes, Jaeyun," you say, your voice barely audible as you completely yield to him, "I'll be yours forever,” It’s a truthful answer, the only one who you can see yourself being with for the rest of your life, long or short, is him. Your Prince Jaeyun.

He shakes his head and screws his eyes shut, seemingly shaking his internal thoughts out of his brain to make way for your reassuring ones. “I can’t lose you, my love. I can’t…I won’t,” he rambles, the rhythm of his thrusts depleting, signifying that he’s close to the edge.

To distract him from his inner monologue, you cradle his face, kissing all over his lips and cheeks. If you can do one thing for him, it’s to instil in him the fact that you will always be his love, until death do you part.

“Y/N, my sweet love,” he whispers sadly, “Don’t let me go,” his plea is muffled by his lips kissing your palms.

You have no idea what could cause this sudden cast of doubt in his mind.

Jaeyun’s right hand moves to your sensitive nub, circling it with his thumb as he tries to coax you to completion. His hips buck sloppily, overwhelmed with the raw emotion and need to cum inside of you.

The bubbling heat between your tummy and pussy consumes you, the climax Jaeyun has worked so hard out of you finally spilling over his shaft and down yourself. Your legs shake violently as he continues to rub your clit in earnest.

The way your body contracts and walls clench around him also sends him to the brink, his seed filling you up quickly, each spurt dripping down your canal and onto your inner garments. The Prince keeps himself stuffed inside you as he pants, unsure of when he will finally be done.

Resting his head on your shoulder, he breathes out softly, trying to calm his panting and heart rate down. He knows he shouldn’t have asked you to stay with him forever, to promise to love him for eternity, but he couldn’t help himself. He needed to hear it almost more than he needed to find his release.

With a final kiss on your lips, he removes himself from you, retrieving his handkerchief from his pocket to catch the cum falling from you. While he does so, you can see his mind shouting so loud you could almost hear it, or maybe it was just because you are both so attuned to one another.

You have to find out what is happening and why he is acting so strangely.

As Jaeyun tucks himself back in and discards his handkerchief, you watch him closely, your heart heavy with concern. There's a weight in the air, a silent tension that hangs between you like a thick fog, and you can't help but feel the ache of his unspoken fears.

Jumping off the desk, you fix your underwear and approach him slowly, your movements deliberate as you reach out to straighten his jacket. Your touch is gentle, “Please, Jaeyun,” you implore softly, your voice barely a whisper as you search his eyes for answers, "Let me in. What are your worries?"

But Jaeyun remains silent, his gaze averted as he avoids your questioning eyes. You can see the pain etched into every line of his face, the fear and uncertainty that threaten to consume him whole. And yet, he can't bring himself to speak the words that weigh so heavily on his soul, scared that if he does. It’ll all be too real.

You can sense his hesitation, his reluctance to confront the truth that lies buried deep within him. But you refuse to give up, determined to stand by his side no matter what challenges may come your way.

Gently, you place a hand on his cheek, guiding his gaze to meet yours as you speak from the depths of your heart. "Jaeyun," you whisper, your voice filled with love and understanding. "You don't have to face this alone. Whatever it is, we'll face it together. I promise."

“That’s just the thing, Y/N,” he begins, voice trembling, “the King has put me in a predicament I cannot get out of,” he leans into your touch, craving your comfort.

Tilting your head, you stroke your thumb over the flushed apple of his cheeks, “What are you talking about?” you ask nervously.

Swallowing the thickness of his turmoil, he speaks lowly, “He has arranged my marriage to Princess Mia of Lethamhill.”

As Jaeyun reveals the truth of his arranged marriage to Princess Mia of Lethamhill, a heavy silence descends upon the room. Your heart sinks at the revelation, a knot of pain and disappointment tightening in your chest. This isn't the news you wanted to hear, the realisation crashing down on you like a wave of icy water.

"Oh..." The word escapes your lips, your mind reeling with the implications of Jaeyun's confession. It's a bitter pill to swallow, the knowledge that your secret love is soon belong to another, bound by duty and obligation.

Retracting your hand from his face, you take a step back, the distance between you a painful reminder of the barriers between you. But before you can retreat any further, Jaeyun reaches out to stop you, his eyes pleading for your understanding.

“My beautiful girl, I told him no,” he implores desperately, hoping you don’t think that he didn’t fight against this preposterous idea, “How could I ever marry her when my true love is already by my side?”

His words offer you a sense of relief, however, you know the King wouldn’t let him away with a simple ‘no’ in regards to this marriage, “I surmise he did not take it well?”

"Of course, he didn't," Jaeyun's voice is bitter and cold, his body tensing as he recalls the conversation with his father. "If I do not marry her, the proposed treaty between our kingdoms will be broken, and there will be conflict."

He was the glue to bond the kingdoms, it was all on him to marry this woman he didn’t know in the name of unification. He is being used as a pawn in this game of power and manipulation and it makes you wonder whether Princess Mia is also going through the same distress, although, with how she was groping Jaeyun earlier, you doubt it.

“A conflict, you mean a war?” you dare ask.

He nods shallowly, remorse etched in his features, “And our King has made it perfectly clear that I will be on the front line.”

Your heart shatters into a million pieces, the pain of it like a dagger to your chest. How could the King do this to Jaeyun, to offer him up as a sacrificial lamb in a game of politics and manipulation? It's cruel, it's unjust, and it's utterly heartbreaking.

"Your father cannot do that," you say slowly, your mind reeling with the enormity of the situation. "It's... it's unthinkable."

But Jaeyun shakes his head, his expression filled with bitterness and resentment. "That man is no father of mine," he declares, his voice filled with anger and defiance.

Opposite to his anger is your sadness, eyes leaking salty tears at the thought of losing your love. No matter the choice Jaeyun makes, he will never be yours. That is something you should have known from the beginning of your relationship.

You and him can never live in love or peace, it will always end in heartache and loss.

The Prince sees your sobs and pulls you in, circling his arms around you tightly, “My love, please don’t shed tears, I hate to see you cry like this.” he mutters into your hair, kissing the crown of your head gently.

But how could you not cry? You’ve just in this instant lost the love of your life.

The room is so silent all you can hear is the raucous laughter and music echoing from the grand hall. It gives you the opportunity to think about how the war would pause all laughter for every citizen of Glengyre, how the only sound you will hear is guns and screams of those desperately seeking escape and safety. You cannot allow that to happen.

“Marry her.”

“Excuse me?” Jaeyun pulls away, disgusted that you would even dream of proposing such an idea. He was yours and only yours, he wouldn’t even dream of lying with another.

You know that you must make him see reason, that there may be no other choice if you are to prevent the looming catastrophe that threatens to tear your world apart.

"It is the only noble thing to do, Jaeyun," you insist, your voice trembling with emotion, "We cannot allow our love to stand in the way of peace, of saving those people from the horrors of war. If marrying Princess Mia is what it takes to prevent bloodshed, then it is a sacrifice we must make.”

He doesn’t register your words, only hearing his heartbreak at the thought of you not being by his side, “But I will lose you, it will be impossible to be together if I marry her,” he begs you with his eyes to change your mind.

“You will lose me either way, Jaeyun,” you release yourself from his grasp, taking a step back to create the inevitable distance that is about to become your reality, “The people of this kingdom need you, Jaeyun. You are the only one that can make a difference to those less fortunate,” you begin, your eyes locked onto him as you portray the seriousness of your words, “If you go to war then there is a certainty you will die and you are no use to the cause of change if you are dead.”

The words get stuck in your throat, the idea of uttering such horror makes you feel sick to your stomach but the lives of hundreds must take priority over your love, no matter how painful.

"But-" he begins, his voice tinged with desperation.

"You cannot be selfish, Jaeyun," you interrupt firmly, your gaze unwavering as you meet his eyes. "I couldn't look at you the same if you sacrificed the welfare of our people for the sake of our love."

The truth of your words lands heavily between you, a painful reminder of the sacrifices that must be made in the name of duty and honour. And though your heart may ache with the prospect of losing him, you know that it is a sacrifice you must be willing to make.

Jaeyun ponders your words, recognising that you are correct: his people are his primary concern. He wishes he could do more to keep your relationship alive, to make you his Queen. As he stands before you, staring at you with loving eyes, he wishes you were the ruler of Glengyre, for your qualities and ideals already shine as if you are.

Suddenly, the bellow of your name echoes the castle halls, Miss Son shouting erratically to find you. It brings Jaeyun to realise that his fantasies of you being his queen are just that - fantasies.

Clasping your face in his big hands, he shakes his head, signifying his defiance to the idea but succumbing to his duties, accepting this fate, “I will always love you, and I will do everything in my power to make it back to you. Even if it’s in another lifetime,” he whispers the words onto your face, sealing them with a final kiss, his tongue now craving to remember you for a lifetime, rather than just a night.

You curtly nod, trying to bottle the emotions you are feeling, scared that if even one drop overflows, you will take back everything you have just said, sacrificing the people you love for the man you love. You could never win in this situation, and neither could Jaeyun.

“I love you too, my sweetheart,” you confess for the last time.

Miss Son’s footprints are right outside the door, putting your own feet into action as you leave Jaeyun to return to your post as a maid, the delusions that you could ever be with Jaeyun for a lifetime are crumbling away with each patter of your feet on the marble floor.

“Ah, there you are! What on earth are you doing in the Council Chamber?” she shouts at you while still being mindful of the guests only a hallway away.

You bow, offering no explanation and slip back into your role, smoothing yourself down to seem presentable. The togetherness of your exterior is the complete opposite of the shattering of your interior, your heart shattered in fragments as you stand back, overlooking the people you made an eternal sacrifice for. And none of them would ever care. The promise you made to love Jaeyun forever is the only peace of your heart left in place.

Jaeyun comes back into the hall a few moments later, poised and stoic, the only change in his face is when he looks at his father with an angry glare and a nod to follow, much to the delight of the King.

Abruptly, the King stands, “Ladies and Gentlemen, my esteemed guests. I have some exciting news to share!”

#enhypen smut #enha smut #enhypen angst #enha angst #enhypen fluff #jake smut #jake sim smut #enhypen x reader #jake x reader #sim jaeyun smut #aj writes

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letters2won · 30 days

Text

10 Things I hate about you

SYNOPSIS ౨ৎ Lee Heeseung has it all, he’s captain of the soccer team, popular, charming and hilarious (at least in his eyes). What he doesn’t have though is a girlfriend OR a prom date making him desperate. You on the other hand want nothing to do with him or his silly problems, but how come you two are always clashing heads in the end?

PAIRING: soccer player!heeseung x photographer!fem reader

GENRE and TROPES: smau & written, enemies to lovers, highschool au, fluff, possible angst

FEATURING: enhypen, chuu, gaon (xdinary heroes), gyuvin (zb1), beomgyu (txt)

STATUS: upcoming (will release in April)

TAGLIST: open! send an ask or comment to be added!

A/N ౨ৎ rewatched 10 things i hate about you again and now we’re here 🤕 This movie is so heeseung coded im actually sick to my stomach!! Anyways let’s pray i make this one a little longer 🙏

PROFILES: REAL alpha males | hamilton fans (derogatory)

CHAPTERS (title may change)

01 on my bucket list

02 jakelations

03 YOU WONT BREAK MY SOUL!

04 chivalry is REAL

05 not very dattebayo of you..

06 tba

942 notes · View notes

karinasbaby · 16 days

Text

sim jaeyun — brighter days inc.

— “you’ll wait for my love? “i waited for your love.”

pairing. fem!reader x sim jaeyun.

warnings. angst, my heaviest angst post yet tbh, fluff moments here & there, layla !!, lots of miscommunication, lots of crying and panicking moments, no / semi happy ending :(

word count. 12.3k

synopsis. just how bad was the punishment of falling in love with sim jaeyun?

— a, note. i apologise in advance for this, i would like to point out that this was completely and fully inspired by the we can’t be friends music video along with the entire eternal sunshine album by ariana !! i only added minor details & scenes here and there but hope u enjoy ! <3 p.s !! this whole post is viewed better in dark mode !!

「 just wanna let this story die, and i’ll be alright. 」

The soft fabric of your shirt soothed your trembling fingers, gentle wind breezing past you once the bell of the door jingled ahead of you, indicating the arrival of another patient wretched with agony and their own pain.

Your vision danced between the walls, the countless photos that hung on the brick pillars claiming a guaranteed peace of mind with the eye catching and loud titles of “brighter days ahead!”, different posters inked with the participants’ positive reviews towards the operation that haunted the patients whom were anxiously sat next to you, some wiping their tears while others gazed hopelessly into the wooden floors, their legs shaking up and down the longer the nurse took to call their names.

You pulled your jacket closer to your chest, in hopes of it protecting you from the words printed onto the paper in front of you, you had read the sentences over a hundred times by now yet you still couldn’t bring yourself to fully accept them.

You have given extensive thought behind your decision and give “Brighter Days Inc.” the exclusive permission to remove this person completely from your memory:

— ☐ yes | ☐ no

Closing your eyes multiple times while chanting “please let me wake up” was deemed futile, you couldn’t bring yourself to face the reality of the situation you had put yourself in. Though you had your reasons, countless of them. You had every right to sit in the waiting room for this clinic, yet you still couldn’t gather up the courage to fully accept the weight of the truth.

The great weight of the truth that weighed heavily on your shoulders, you knew this was the correct decision. You knew you weren’t physically affecting anyone by doing this, you practically weren’t going to hurt after this, yet your actions still hurt the present you, the one who was able to sense a thin veil of tears forming along her waterline for the nth time since you stepped foot into this clinic.

And you were doing this to save her from the pain, from the heartbreak you had been suffering through. The harsh wood of the board felt hurtful against your skin, the piece of wood agonisingly heavy atop your fingertips, your hand placed the pen in your lap before it instinctively moved towards your neck, caressing the special pine cone necklace that adorned your chest.

The feeling of the pendant beneath your touch felt gut wrenching, your whole being freezing as the sudden sharp edges grazed your skin, the pendant that held so many great memories to you that you hoped would comfort you for the last time felt like the thorns of a rose splitting your fingertips.

It was the sudden sharp dig of the edge of the pine that reminded you of a precious memory, one of the most special days in your life when your two favourite people walked into it.

Your foot sunk deeply into the snow beneath you, the wind a cold breeze blowing against your blushed face, your nose a distinct red shade as you sniffed due to the cold weather, hands digging further into your warm pockets to allow the blood to rush back to your frozen fingertips.

The breath turned into a glowing mist ahead of your eyes as it tumbled past your lips, you smiled softly at the sound of your best friend announcing her departure to collect more wood for the fireplace the two of you had wanted to create, you turned your head to the side to locate her small figure slowly disappearing into the slight fog that started to form a few minutes before the two of you had arrived to the small forest.

You took notice of how heavy the snow was, the ground a vast white that glittered with the sunrays, the sudden urge to lay on the floor that appeared as faux clouds and cotton overcame your senses and before you could rethink your decisions, you were already surrounded by the comforting cold of the snow hugging your every limb and every inch of your body.

Memories of your childhood flashed through your eyes, the happy moments that were filled with laughter exchanged between you and your friend as the two of you made snow angels, joyful giggles flew in the air around you once you both stood up to compare the shapes to one another and chuckle at the ridiculous outcomes.

Before you could fully indulge yourself in the memory, you felt a foreign object pressing against your foot, your eyes shot downwards to the sight of a dark circular item— a pine cone?

Your heartbeat unexpectedly picked up its pace, was there someone around? You weren’t in an area that had pine trees around them, they were atleast a few miles away from you.

Loud rustling reached your ears from ahead, what sounded like a person quickly walking— in an abnormally fast way that made you prepare yourself for the appearance of any random person, your senses heightening at the possible danger awaiting, the shadow slowly appeared in front of the fog, a really short one that confused you.

Once the mist finally had dispersed, revealing the last outcome you had been expecting— an adorable puppy that jumped its way through the snow, you stared at the shimmering fur that had gotten covered with small bits of the sparkling snow, the puppy barked at you in excitement, their tail swaying behind them in the snow while their shining eyes studied your face.

Your hands held onto the pine cone, a smile stretching out on your face once you noticed that the puppy was waiting for you to return the item, sitting in front of you patiently in a well behaved manner, a clear indication of how attentive and careful their owner is.

“Is this yours, hm?” You questioned, voice playful and low in fear of possibly disturbing the overly excited puppy who only barked in delight at your question, and as your hand was reaching forward to return the beloved pine cone, you and the sweet puppy’s ears picked up the distressed yells a large distance away.

The puppy turned its body towards the direction it came from, breathing the cold air in before barking countless times as if to signal their location and on cue the rushed footsteps that dug into the snow approached your figures closer.

“There you are, Layla.” A young boy appeared from between the twinkling mist, his features sharp and eye catching the closer he walked towards both of you, a charming smile etching its way onto his chiseled face at the sight of his beloved dog, “I was getting worried, pretty girl.” He breathed out in relief before finally noticing your presence.

His back suddenly straightened, shoulders pulling back while his eyes widened before the prettiest pink you’ve ever seen dusted his ears and cheeks, “oh hi.” He breathed out shyly, he could feel his heartbeat drumming in his ears as the last thing he was expecting to find Layla next to was a gorgeous girl.

You couldn’t help the quickened thump of your own heart either, the appearance of this young guy that was clad in a large dark coat, black pants along with a matching hat that revealed small peaks of his dark brown hair had your mind reeling, he was undeniably handsome.

“hello.” You whispered back, instinctively holding the pine cone towards your chest as holding eye contact with the beautiful man only made your body buzz further with excitement and nervousness, the guy also losing his internal battle with the possibility of facing you as his eyes had only been following his dog’s moving tail in hopes of calming his own nerves down.

The said puppy’s gaze danced between her owner and the new friend, unfamiliar with her owner’s sudden shy side appearing in front of a potential friend making her suspicions arise, and the moment she was about to bark in the direction of her owner once again, the guy spoke out.

“Did she tackle you onto the floor?” He asked, tone laced with concern at the realisation of your position on the snow while you held the pine cone in your hand, “no!” You quickly denied once you lifted your head and saw his worried expression, thousands of apologies disappeared from his tongue at your words and he couldn’t help but breathe another sigh of relief, “I’m actually making… snow angels.” Your voice had dropped a few octaves towards the end.

Quieting your own words to hide them from the handsome guy that you prayed wouldn’t make fun of you for your childish behaviour from your first ever encounter, you were preparing yourself for the worst reaction to slap you across the face and for his laughter to reach your ears yet— “oh I love snow angels!” His excited voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

You turned to face him again, to see the genuine excitement and fondness lacing his face before patting the snow next to you, a warm smile gracing your features that made the unknown boy’s heart to leap in his chest, “come join me!”

The loud ring of the bell harshly pulled you out of the sweet memory into the reality you had been dreading, all of your senses returning to the present made a sinking feeling take over your heart, by the time you leave this place you won’t be able to remember this precious memory.

Your hand instinctively wrapped around the pine cone, in attempt to protect and shield it from the possibility of disappearing, the idea of one of the most precious days of your life dissipating from your memory lane made your shoulders sink further, the anxious feeling of pure unease settled deeply into your bones, and before you were able to prepare yourself further, you felt your throat closing up.

And as if your own body had turned its back towards you, your gaze had shifted beneath the cursed words to the bottom of the paper, where a clear and bold line awaited your pen to grace upon it.

signature: ________

Your vision then travelled towards the boxes, the finality of your decision settling into your limbs when your hand finally moved from your necklace to hold onto the pen again, and with a heavy heart along with a new veil of tears aligning your eyes, you finally allowed the first drop of ink to land on the paper.

☒ yes | ☐ no

The wind around you turned colder, it felt as if the breeze was scolding you for such decisions, the guilt by now had started to eat you up alive, tainting your brain and choking you up on your own unshed tears, you tried to breathe in deeply, attempting to calm your heaving chest down as with each passing second you felt your lungs constricting further.

“Miss, are you ready?” The nurse had suddenly appeared next to you, caring and worried eyes scanning your shaky figure on the seat, knuckles white around the wooden board that held your signature and confirmation for the procedure, your head lowered in shame of the sight of your tears being revealed, though all the hurt was evident in your body language.

“This way, miss.” She quickly guided you towards the office, your hand reached out to carry the box next to you, the cardboard that contained all of your memories that were stuffed into items, her hand reached out to hold the trembling board from your weak one while the other hovered around your lower back, bringing an odd sense of comfort for you as your feet walked you towards your own heartbreak.

The walls of the office appeared cold to the touch, the solid floor beneath you brought the aura of seriousness for you, almost as if awakening you from your hurtful thoughts to the reality of the situation, there was no turning back now. Then with each step that you took towards the chair, memories of this morning took over your mind.

Layla, your precious puppy sat ahead of your crouched figure in front of the bed, you sat atop the mattress that felt so unwelcoming, so foreign to you, as if you hadn’t slept multiple times between the same sheets with your love before.

Your puppy was cautious, big shining eyes studying every tear drop that ascended down the curve of your cheekbone, her own body slouching with each sob that wrecked through your body, “I’m sorry.” The yellow light from your bedside table casted a soft glow on both of your small figures, Layla reached towards you, one of her paws landing besides you on the bed as she lifted herself up while the other was placed gently against your leg.

“I can’t continue staying here, baby.” You explained to her, with each break in your voice her ears dropped lower, the sadness and confusion evident all over her adorable face, long gone was the look of excitement and pure love that painted her face whenever she saw you, as if she was able to understand your words she pushed her fluffy body towards you more.

“I can’t be with you, or jaeyun anymore.” You whispered, sweaty and cold palms reached out towards her small face, her golden fur comforting you as it brushed against your skin, you allowed her loving presence to curtain over the overwhelming sense of fright that your stomach was unable to digest, her familiar scent coating your senses bringing a feeling of ease into your panicked state.

“I love you so much.” You whispered to your little cupid, the one who had brought you together with your first true love. The one who had unknowingly brought so much happiness and joy to your dull life with her and her father’s presence.

“Are you ready, miss?” The doctor called out, dragging you out from the reality that only existed in your head now, a cloud of doom now hovered above your head as there was no space to return back to, this was it. That was your last time with Layla, ever.

The pill of the reminder suddenly seemed to large to swallow, the thought of an eternal separation from your beloved little cupid felt agonising to you, the tightening in your chest worsened, your fingers dug into your own palm to cause the tiniest bit of satisfaction when the pain travelled throughout your nerves, you deserved this.

You had known this was the correct decision a long time ago, this was the only way you had been able to save yourself but god how could you be so selfish at the same time? How could you leave two very important people behind you and live in eternal bliss? You heart began to thunder against your ribs, each thump begging you to return, to turn back on your footsteps and go back home.

To return to your love, to your small family, to endure the pain and the sting of the knowledge that jaeyun would never view you the way you had done.

To return to your angel, the one who sat by the door with her tail swaying behind her excitedly at the sight of the door opening, in hopes of a possible walk with her best friend, then her tail suddenly paused atop the wooden floor while her pointy and excited ears dropped, breaking your heart when you crouched down to kiss her head for the final time, in hopes of your feelings conveying to her through the loving contact, atleast for the last time.

You knew the love you held for him had to be dissipated. Though the pure, innocent adoration and devotion your heart carried for him didn’t deserve to be gone. Yet it wasn’t worth putting Jaeyun through possible pain and suffering.

If only you had known from the start that this was the consequence of your actions of inviting Jaeyun to create snow angels with you on that morning would lead you to the punishment of falling in love with Jaeyun, you would’ve never stepped foot into the snow that day.

The doctor held your hand gently, his eyes held nothing but sympathy and pity for you, your fingers pale and shaky in his hold as he placed the small device on your index finger, the pulse reader instantly showing your quickened heartbeat on the screen, “the procedure is going to be a quick and painless one…” the doctor’s words echoed throughout your eardrums, each word drifting off from one ear to the other as your vision was stuck on the numbers constantly picking up.

As if a chain had been tightened around your neck, your throat closed up further, you suppressed every sob that threatened to escape from you, your feet had gotten numb on the chair at some point while you shut your eyes with reassuring words replaying in your head in attempts to soothe yourself, yet each one was being repeated atop of an image of a smiling jaeyun behind your closed eyes.

The nurse behind you had brought the two iron pieces closer to your temples, each one glowing with a red light, indicating the disconnection while they approached your skin, and once both pieces were attached to you as if they were pieces of magnets, your heart only sunk further in your body.

The doctor exchanged incoherent words with the nurse that your ears weren’t able to comprehend, your senses only picking up the constant beeping of the monitor, each beat picked up its speed, symbolising how your heart was beating rapidly at the thought of your one and only love, at the thought of losing him entirely in less than a few minutes.

Your eyes then landed on the screen besides you, blue lights blinding your sight as you took in the multiple tabs open on the screen with “generating link” as the largest one, the percentage increased quickly, each number made your breath turn shorter as the gravity was finally settling in, the small sting that you felt on the sides of your head was incomparable to the ache of your heart, still filled with so much useless hope after all these months.

“Are you ready?” The doctor asked, a consoling smile etched onto his features, you nodded quickly, eager to get the procedure done with now before your weak heart convinced you to run outside of this clinic and into the arms of the man you fell in love with.

“Alright then.. we should be starting…” the doctor’s voice slowly disappeared, his words gradually faded away from you as your eyes remained shut while the machine forced you to a trip down your beloved memory lane, your memory path that was dedicated for sim jaeyun only.

The first memory you had shared with him after your first encounter played in front of your closed eyes, you remembered this one in a crystal clear way, the sight of you and Jaeyun walking hand in hand was imprinted onto the back of your eyelids, the familiar sight making your heart jump into your throat.

“I’m gonna win you the teddy bear!” Jaeyun shouted excitedly as he walked, his grip on your hand firm yet gentle while he made his way through the crowd in the carnival, rushing towards the claw machine quickly, bumping into random people every few seconds making you laugh at his enthusiasm, unaware of jaeyun’s heart thundering in his chest at the sound of your laughter.

“You really don’t have to, Jake.” You rushed besides him and the second the baby blue and pink lights of the machine landed on your smiling face he felt his breath hitching in his throat, your shining eyes presenting as windows to your excitement and pure joy you felt besides him made his heart leap in his chest, “but i want to.” he breathed out gently, mesmerised besides your distracted frame.

your eyes studied the glass window curiously, jaeyun was confused as to why he could tell exactly when your eyes landed on the teddy bear he mentioned, confused as to why he was able to study all of your expressions so well so soon, to why they mattered and intrigued him so much, surely the fleeing thought of cradling your face gently into his arms was an intrusive one, and totally not because of his own feelings and urge to do so, right?

his hands reached out to push his coin into the slot before reaching towards the small handle, his fingers buzzed with excitement and anxiety, the need to win this teddy bear for you chanting throughout his mind as he lowered the claw onto the fluffy toy, and once the iron claws wrapped around the bear, your hand sneaked its way between both of your figures to lace with his fingers, a soft squeeze of encouragement that made the boy’s heart thump needily.

“You got it, jake!” you beamed from besides him, you quickly held the fluffy toy in your arms, hugging the precious teddy close to you, the sight making jake’s world slow down its rotation, his heart jumping into his throat as he took in the sight of your happy expression, your sweet and thankful words falling onto his ear before they travelled out the other, he was hypnotised, your happiness casting a spell on him effortlessly.

“Jaeyun..” he suddenly breathed out, snapping back into reality with a soft, loving smiling permanently etching its way onto his face, “hmm?” You questioned, moving your sparkling eyes from the toy to his handsome face, his sweet grin made rose dust along your cheeks, he reached out to hold your hand before he spoke out again, “call me jaeyun.”

“Okay, jaeyun.” You chuckled affectionately at him, one hand intertwined with his slender fingers while the other held the teddy close to your heart, “what are you going to name it?” His eyes dropped back onto the teddy, quickly switching the topic as his heart felt like it was on the verge of exploding the longer he drowned in the ocean of your eyes.

“Jakey.” You smiled at the sight of his eyes widening, eyebrows lifting as he audibly laughed, the sound ringing like melodies in your ears. The view of him blushing and laughing under the stars becoming your favourite in that instant as everything else around you blurred and your sole focus was on him and only him.

“Let’s take you and Jakey to the ferris wheel then.” He joked before walking towards the said ride, fingers still laced with yours as he pulled your shy figure gently to follow him throughout the crowd.

And suddenly with a mere blink you were stuck in the middle of moving bodies, one hand unbearably cold while the other held onto a teddy, confusion laced your expression as the lights of the ferris wheel glowed ahead of you, why were you here in the first place?

Just like that, Jaeyun disappeared from a precious memory that belonged to you.

Your surroundings in front of the ferris wheel darkened, a small circle of light engulfing you before your dissociated out from the memory, you had your eyes closed shut, not daring to open them when all you could hear was the murmurs of the doctor and the nurse confirming the removal in the first memory.

All you could detect was the consistent sinking and pain aching in your heart, the dizziness in your head as you altered your memories and forcefully removed the only person who you ever truly loved in your life, the agony from the thought so great that it allowed new streaks of tears to decorate your skin.

And as you let out another shaky breath, you were pushed into another memory.

The harsh breeze of the wind grazed jaeyun’s skin while his teeth chattered slightly at the icy stabs along his arms, he quickly moved from the sidewalk to the empty road that accompanied the ray of sunlight courtesy to the shorter buildings next to it.

His shoulders relaxed at the warmth that travelled his system, his fingers didn’t feel like they were about to fall off anymore the longer he kept them pushed into his pockets under the sun, he relished in the vast difference between the cold breeze and the warm sunlight, a weird sense of soothe scurrying into his mind.

The comparison was awfully familiar, yet he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it reminded him of.

Nonetheless he continued walking, making the final turn that allowed the sight of his house to enter his line of vision, his insides buzzed with worry and excitement at seeing you again, your appearance always brought him solace especially when he walked into the view of you playing with Layla happily in the living room.

Yet whenever he remembered the position both of you were stuck in regarding your importance in his life, his mind got jumbled with negativity and worry again.

But he was determined that tonight was going to make a difference.

Especially with the apology he had spent days memorising, his finger brushed against the small box in his pocket that brought an unexpected but welcomed wave of positivity for him, it was the first time that he felt so confident in himself with something that involved both of you.

The slight graze of the velvet against his skin reminded him of the way your skin felt against his, the sunlight that glowed atop his honey skin beautifully reminded him of the warmth your love provided for him, oh how he adored you.

And there was jaeyun, finally walking towards his door with a pep in his step, his chest feeling ridiculously lighter while the blood rushed to his face at the thought of you in front of his eyes.

His shaky fingers wrapped around the handle before pushing the large piece of wood, layla instantly greeting him at the door with a welcoming woof of her own, making him smile widely.

“Hello my princess,” he spoke with a soft voice, kneeling down to pet her after closing the door behind him, all worrisome thoughts disappearing from his brain the second her soft fur nuzzled against his palms, he chuckled at all of her licks against his cheeks, turning his head as he giggled and unknowingly seeing your missing shoes on the floor.

Confusion wrapped around his head as a weird, unnerving emotion settled into his stomach, he quickly looked around the living room for any sight of you only to be left further confused since you hadn’t told him about leaving the house today.

“Is she not home?” He questioned layla, his glossy eyes returning to the puppy who visibly lost all of her enthusiasm, quieting down and only licking at his palm in hopes of bringing some sort of comfort to her owner the longer he desperately searched for any sign of you.

“It’s alright,” he walked towards the living room, a sudden wave of dizziness crawling its way to his conscious, he involuntarily closed his eyes at the unexpected pain while his feet quickly led him towards the couch with a worried layla trailing behind him, “she’ll come back.” He whispered, comforting himself while his hands reached to hold onto his head.

And before he could realise, he laid onto the soft fabric of his couch as a wave of sleep took over him while his consciousness drifted. Unbeknownst to him, that would’ve been the last time he would remember you.

「 i don’t wanna tip toe but i don’t wanna hide. 」

The doctor’s hands paced around his instruments panically, your soft sniffles ringing in both his and the nurse’s ears as their heart broke for the nth time that day at the sight of the memory on the screen of their computer, the memory that held an immense amount of pain as the only thing you could focus on in that moment was the view of jaeyun sitting down next to a random girl, his arm wrapped around her shoulders while she turned her head to the side to quickly peck his jaw.

“Is that not.. jake?” Your friend asked from besides you, her eyes widening at the sight of the guy who captured your heart huddled next to an unknown girl by a cafe’s window, the view inevitably catching your gaze too as your brain almost shut down at that moment.

“It is.” You whispered in confirmation, the cobbled stone beneath your feet glued you atop of it while your world slowed down, just like your first encounter— you felt everything around you slowly dissolve till your sole focus was on jaeyun with a random woman.

You friend thankfully picked up your irregular breathing, and she was sure if she had listened close enough she would’ve also been able to hear the sound of your heart shattering into countless pieces while your face was an open window to your emotions.

The feeling of your stomach sinking completely brought you back into reality, the situation was laughable really, just a few weeks ago he seemed too shy to even hold your hand yet here he was now with his arm around another woman.

He might’ve not been able to hold eye contact with you just a few weeks ago, but right now he was able to laugh at the top of his lungs at what looked like a joke the woman said.

“Let’s go.” Your friend sternly announced, holding your hand the second she noticed your eyes swelling up with tears and quickly pulled you to walk into a different alleyway while jaeyun slowly disappeared in the background, leaving the random woman to sit alone in your memory before you quickly tumbled into another one.

Your vision began to slowly clear, another memory opening up ahead of you as you felt yourself getting lost in your emotions regarding this whole procedure.

The aroma of the coffee was pungent in the living room, wafting through the air accompanied by the sweet scent of cinnamon, Layla’s sweet coos and quiet noises of approval and support kept you company and sane after witnessing the man your heart thrummed for wrapped up in the arms of another woman.

Due to the unending conflict and doubts eating away at your mind, resulting in a very upset you and a worried Layla to walk around the house to distract yourself, and the perfect distraction did you find when your feet dragged you into the kitchen.

“I guess it’s just me and you.” Expressing yourself to Layla had always been something that came very easily to you, she was your closest friend at the moment after all. Always by your side to comfort you whether it was by cuddling you with your tears landing like rain drops on her soft fur till you fell asleep or by urging you to play with her and get your mind off her dad.

And right as you were about to move the few pastries from the tray onto the plate on the counter, you and Layla’s ears picked up the familiar and dreadful sound of the door being opened, announcing Jake’s arrival with the loud creak of the wood once he pushed it forward.

As expected, the air that carried the dizzying scent of your pastry was suddenly filled with tension. As if each golden particle of the sweets that travelled through the air while carrying your love transformed into a harsh droplet of ice, the atmosphere further thickening uncomfortably when the boy walked inside of the kitchen to the sight of you in front of the counter with your puppy nuzzling to your leg.

“That smells amazing..” he muttered, feeling shy and small when faced with your stiff back, and he knew he deserved the treatment that you had for him, he knew that you had seen him with someone else. Yet he didn’t have the heart to even think about bringing up that conversation, deciding by his own that stuffing the confrontation into a small box and pushing it far away to a corner in his mind was for the best now.

“Thank you.” Your response was curt, almost monotone with the way you tried your best to not have whatever conversation between you two last longer, his presence alone was suffocating enough for you, you didn’t have the heart to face him.

And jaeyun of course noticed all of this, he noticed the way your back was still faced towards him. A clear and painfully obvious contrast from the way you used to greet him with a loving hug and sometimes even a sweet, shy kiss to his cheek if you were really in the mood for it. The memories of those adoring welcomes will always eat away at his conscience, a constant reminder of what he lost.

But was jaeyun going to ask you to talk with him so both of you could finally address the invisible tornado of unspoken emotions in the room? Of course no.

“I was wondering if you…” he trailed off, voice quiet and almost hesitant in approaching you, and his doubts began to gnaw at his heart when your shoulders tensed further, his anxiety made his tone even more jittery when he continued “want to spend some time with me..?” The final syllable was a mere whisper.

Jaeyun felt the distance between you both panicking, he’s never felt you so far away and unreachable for him even though he knew the reason but his fear of rejection and possible failure was overpowering his logical idea of actually hearing your side and confessing his own thoughts, deciding alone for both of you that the best approach to this situation was not acknowledging it in the first place.

“It snowed yesterday, you know.” He pushed his coldly sweaty hands into the pocket of his sweatpants, he could unwillingly hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears, his frame was apprehensive as he kept switching his weight from one foot to another while awaiting for your answer, fearful from you declining his offer before he even finished off, “so.. wanna make snow angels?”

He let himself loose, letting go from all of his previous uncertainty and revealing a sweet smile when you finally turned around to face him, a ghost of a grin on your features that never failed to set his chest on fire and make his mind reel, a simple “okay.” had jaeyun was over the moon.

Even if Jaeyun was undeserving of your acceptance to his offer, even if this whole action will have a returning moment that will bite you both deeply but in that specific second the need to be wrapped in each other’s warmth surpassed any other feeling you both could have thought of.

And after minutes of being avoidant, hours of steering away from the unavowed storm of words that needed to be exchanged between your two souls to hopefully ignite some sort of hope for your love, after a day full of your eternal bliss in ignorance where you two played into the parts of loving partners that you had formed in your head that was far, way too far from your reality.

You found yourself tangled beneath the satin sheets, clad in your love’s shirt while he laid on his side to face you, every element surrounding you in this current atmosphere was a very clear display of love, of intimacy and devotion that circled the two of you.

With every intrusive thought of just how many times he’s been in this exact position with another woman that you pushed into the back of your head, your grip on his fingers tightened, it was almost driving you insane. The uncertainty and insecurity in your placement in his life was so evident for jaeyun in your actions, and it made his heart ache.

Further proving that he’s not the one for you, because of his undying need to comfort you and whisper his love for you in your ears to wash away all the bad voices in your head that were pushing you to believe that you were the complete opposite of what he saw.

Someone who deserved the utmost love the entire universe could be able to forge and give.

And out of nowhere, the forbidden three words craved their way onto his tongue, jaeyun’s heart leaped into his throat with the suddenly controlling urge to declare his love for you, his love that bursted inside of every vein of his and made his heart thunder between his ribs.

“I..” he unconsciously started, his tone a mere whisper that made your eyes widen, your fingers froze around him making him realise his own words, breath knocked out from his lungs at his own voice that was wavering. So full of emotion, carrying each and every ounce of combined fear and love that he held for you, there was no going back now, he thought.

“I lov—“ and his words were lost in the air, jaeyun was abruptly pulled away once again, vanishing from the other side of the bed and leaving no trace behind him, you sat up in shock at his unexpected disappearance, your chest rising and falling rapidly when he evanesced wholly.

The confusion only settled in a few moments later, why were you sitting on bed and searching for someone? And what was with the sinking and dreadful feeling in your stomach?

Before you could dwell in your turmoil further, a different scene of your memories started to play ahead, it was the day after.

「 and no matter how easy things could be if i did. 」

The scent of the blooming flowers of spring around the cafe distracted you from your friend’s disappointed gaze, her movements with the spoon that mixed the coffee with the cream halted before she cleared her throat, successfully garnering your attention and allowing you to see her dissatisfaction with your situation in only her eyes.

“How muc—“ “listen.” You cut her off, aware of the way that she was about to give you advice for the umpteenth time, to convince and coax you to leave, you felt used to it at this point. Her meaningful words failed to penetrate the wall you had built around yourself regarding anything that was related to jaeyun.

Her hope diminished further when she saw your tired eyes still overflowing with love, the neglect and exhaustion evident in your features, the lack of attention and reciprocation of love from jaeyun was crystal clear to your friend, she absolutely hated seeing you like this.

But she knew that Jaeyun had you wrapped around his finger, your heart drummed for him in a symphony created for only him. She knew that if your love was an ocean then you had drowned a long time ago.

The similarities between you two was almost frustrating for her, as if you both were created from the same soul blown into two different bodies, the love you held for each other heavy, intense and impactful yet you both cowered when faced with the mere possibilities of confession and rejection, far too afraid to lose one another and unaware of the fact that you both were slipping from between the other’s fingers.

“I know.” You whispered, voice barely audible beneath the chatter of everyone around you in the cafe, your heavy lidded eyes stayed on the cheesecake your friend convinced you to order as you felt no appetite, your stomach finding more comfort with the feeling of ache and longing than anything else.

“But I can’t do anything.” Your words broke towards the end, lowering your head in desperate attempt to hide away your glossy eyes from your friend that felt her heart shatter at your frail and weak frame, “I can’t force myself to not love him.” And before you broke down further, your friend’s arms wrapped around you and pulled you into her comfort.

And the feeling of her love and whispers calming you down and engulfing you settled a short moment of peace into your chest before your sight shifted into another memory.

The reminder of why you were here in the first place rang in your head when you finally entered the most dreaded one.

You didn’t want all of your happy memories to fill your being with sorrow, you didn’t want to grieve over a person who you saw everyday, he lived his life before your very own eyes, his every breath that called out to another girl, confessed his love to another woman whom you wished and hoped would become you one day matched with your every breath that called out to him.

Every day and every night your lips refused to not hold hope for his response, till the syllables of his own name tasted foreign on your tongue. they tasted bitter to you, not the familiar sweetness you felt when you had called out to him in the first few months of his delightful presence in your life.

The lightness you felt in you had turned into the constriction of your chest on you, the heavy weight atop your ribs felt as if they were pushing against your heart, punishing it for being so reckless and careless to fall in love with the only man you weren’t meant to be with.

Now each beat of your heart that you were convinced thundered for him, felt like hell breaking loose in between your veins, the burst of ecstasy and excitement had all dulled down to aches of anguish and despair.

And before you knew it, the rush of joy that ascended throughout your body had transformed to absolute misery.

Here you were again, in another painful memory. The mattress sank softly at your weight when you gathered the courage to face your love and your fear, though you weren’t quite sure when those two interlinked.

You knew love was never supposed to be fearful, the unblemished love your heart had held for the boy who had his back turned towards you on the bed was not supposed to frighten your mind with dread of the outcome of tonight.

Jaeyun was on the other side of the bed, huddled beneath the blanket as if using the fabric to protect himself from his surroundings, hiding away from the reality and the truth that awaited him with impatience, “jake..” you whispered, voice low as you tested the waters and longed for any sort of reaction from him.

Yet he remained stoic atop the sheets.

From your perspective, jaeyun appeared so close yet so far away and out of your reach, as the days passed by he pulled further from your grasp, backing away from the same hold that once brought comfort to his distraught conscience, as if the graze of your fingertips burned him.

And before you were able to realise it jaeyun was too far away, standing a large distance far from the circle that contained your warmth, where you stayed. Both of your beings were suddenly standing in a parallel line with no signs of interlacing in a messy circle once again.

You weren’t exactly sure when both of your hearts had gotten intertwined so awfully to one another, a tangled web forming between your ribs. Yet it seemed that whatever force connected the two appeared defenceless and weak when faced against the same force that was rapidly pushing your bodies and minds away from each other.

It appeared like the love that poured in every web and vein wasn’t enough to pull your soul against his own.

“We should talk.. we need to.” you breathed out, tone heavy as if you knew he was going to be quick to shut you out once again, but you weren’t sure if you were going to walk away for a safe amount of time before returning to him again this time.

Just how many times have you lived through this exact scenario? And how many times were you willing to do so?

“There’s nothing to talk about.” he replied through gritted teeth, closing his eyes once he felt the familiar burn around his iris, and there it was. the same answer you had memorised yet so desperately tried to forget, it left a bittersweet feeling to your moment, you were expecting it and the melancholy of hearing it again settled into your emotions.

Instinctively, you turned your head towards him. Your eyes tracing every tense muscle beneath his shirt, the rigidness of his shoulders as he appeared uncomfortable in his own room and god was the thought a punch to your gut when the possibility of your presence making him uneasy crawled its way into your brain.

And the guilt returned to your system immediately, “i’m sorry.” you spoke, words dragged from your strained and tightened throat as you desperately wanted to sprint into the bathroom before a sob fell from your lips. You felt pathetic, really. His coldness and curt replies never affected you as much as this one, maybe it was because you knew this was going to be your last attempt.

With your eyes unfocused on your surroundings, your feet pushed the door of the bathroom behind you before you leaned onto the wall for strength. And unbeknownst to you, jaeyun finally let out a shaky breath fall from between his bruised and bitten lips, allowing all the tears to spill past his skin, the same skin you so lovingly kissed just a few months ago, and now the mere thought of your lips against him was shredding his own emotions apart.

Jaeyun knew that with every harsh word he spoke, he was also single-handedly ripping apart every web between your hearts.

The pale blue moonlight illuminated the room, landing directly on the empty spot in the middle of the bed, as if asking for one of your tense bodies to move towards one another, yet both of you remained with your backs against eachother. Jaeyun was slowly counting the seconds, he knew the exact amount of minutes it took you to fall asleep by now as he had repeated the same routine every night, except this time your breathing was taking longer to deepen than it was supposed to.

That was until he heard a quiet sniffle ring in his ears.

He froze atop the cold sheets, the sound echoing in his mind as if it was tormenting him, the blame and guilt instantly rooting themselves deep in his stomach and extending their branches far in his body, planting themselves fully in his lungs till the point he couldn’t breathe, his breaths turning shallow the more sniffles and quiet cries of heartbreak reached his ears.

The sweat around his palms turned icy, his own body betraying him as he remained paralysed beneath the blanket, his heart screamed at him to go, to move for good for once, fingers itching to turn around and wrap your shaky figure in his hold, to protect you from the demons that were tormenting you both endlessly, yet he couldn’t move.

The louder his heart drummed in his chest to move, the sterner his mind reminded him of how much he deserved this, after all those months of neglect who did he think he was to suddenly switch and turn back towards you? After all those steps he took away from you, how dare he even think of walking back on the same footsteps?

And so he stayed. His body stoic in fear of moving an inch.

He breathed out his first deep breath when he realised that you stopped, when you finally fell asleep and he was able to move and breathe again. Jaeyun wasted no time in getting up from his side of the bed, his feet felt cold against the floor, each step he took towards your side felt heavy on his heart, countless pangs of guilt arrowing themselves directly across his chest at the sight of your sleeping frame hugging the blanket close to you.

The closer the walked towards you, the more he felt the torturous sting in his eyes, he gulped the moment his rigid frame made contact with your blanket, sitting down right next to your small frame. And as he took in the features of your face that he so dearly loved he felt his soul hurting further.

He noticed all the glimmering streaks of tears that aligned your skin, your wet eyelashes that carried and held onto smaller droplets of your pain, the soft redness tainting the tip of your nose matching your cheeks, the longer he stared at you the worse his hands ached to hold you against him.

The comfort of your aura around him had stayed the same, your mere existence around him felt tenderly welcoming to him. The presence that felt like the manifestation of a hug from the whole universe, the warmth that was carefully picked from every star in the galaxy was all provided to him by the heavens in the form of you.

Yet his presence had changed. It had matched yours in the beginning, the presence that was a combination of all galactic bodies, the mere light of his aura challenged the light of the sun and all the stars combined, a glow so bright that rivalled the brilliance of every heavenly titan, he was otherworldly. he was your sunshine.

And now the warmth of the sun had dulled, dissolved into the shell of what he used to be, you thought that maybe each light had its own darkness since even the moon had its own dark side that it was ashamed of turning to show.

His fingertips landed against your soft skin, the disappearance of the coldness from his body the moment it made contact with yours made him melt in front of your sleeping form, and he allowed himself for once to sob all of his pain out.

“I’m sorry..” he whispered, voice breaking as he attempted to convey his emotions once they intensified by the seconds, his misery streaming down his face, “I’m so sorry..” he repeated, the heaviness in his heart worsening at the sight of his tears dripping down onto your blanket, his pain surrounding you once again.

“I wish—“ he gasped for breath, his insides shattering apart the longer he spent next to your frame, “I wish you hated me, so much.” He finally breathed out, his heart stinging with each word, sight blurring further as more tears fell past his cheeks.

“You don’t deserve me, my love.” Jaeyun smiled sadly at your sleeping form, the thought of you receiving the same kind and brave love that you felt for him brought a short-lived happiness to him, he knew he was incapable of reciprocating the adoration that filled you whole because of him.

Jaeyun was scared the second he realised that you had handed your heart over to his hands, he knew his bravery wouldn’t hold enough power to clench his fingertips around your fragile heart, resulting in the delicate and weak item to slip out of his fingers and shatter like countless pieces of glass on the floor.

How he wished he had the courage to love you the same way you loved him, to adore you the same way you adored him, to run back into your warm circle and keep you hidden and protected in his embrace till the end of times, yet he was incapable. His fears and doubts eating away at all the potentials that existed in your heart.

“But I don’t want you to not love me either.” He cried quietly, the thought of you receiving the same love you deserved from someone else destroyed him completely, the visualisation of you smiling the same way you do with him to another man had his hands springing upwards from your skin to grip onto his hair, paining himself in hopes of the torturous image dissipating from his mind.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated once again, his eyes stinging at the continuous hurt his body had bottled up and just got the courage to spill, Jaeyun knew he wasn’t brave enough to show and confess his love to you the way you had done for him, and that fact tugged further on his heartstrings.

The rational part of him hoped aimlessly for a day to arrive where you would realise your worth, realise that jaeyun was still being eaten alive with his fear and doubts and guilt all at the same time, his love for you was overflowing yet he hid each and every bit of it so well.

He knew you deserved better, his rational part always tormenting him with his unworthiness and pushing him further away from you, yet his heart— god his heart couldn’t possibly handle the simple thought of you being away from him.

It was his weak side that still clutched you against him so tightly, the side that was fully and wholly controlled by his emotions that were feral for you, the part of him that desperately ignored all warnings and reminders of his logical side.

Deep down, you knew you and jaeyun were never meant to be. The difference between you and him was vast, similar to the difference of the sand and the ocean, the land and the sky, the moon and the sun. Both parts completing each other while repelling one another at the same time.

You two were never meant to intertwine in the first place.

And even if Jaeyun was finally ready to push every pearl and grain of sand into the ocean, to make the sky fall atop the land and to alter the moon and the sun’s planes’ into a permanent eclipse, it was way too late.

For by the time he wakes up, he won’t even be able to remember you.

The metal pieces on your temples glowed green, indicating another opening for a memory for you, a few days after your despair with jaeyun, where he finally collected all the dispersed courage from his head and went out of his way to make it up to you, inevitably wrapping you both further into his unhealthy cycle of messing up and redeeming himself.

Disregarding the fact that both of your hearts can only take so much. After so much heartbreak and neglect to the core of your soul that only held passion and love towards him, it was bound to give up on trying one day. But you were still loving him. And jaeyun ignored all the voices in his head when they began to claim that your unreciprocated love can’t last that long. Because Jaeyun believed in you.

And maybe it was blinded belief, blurred with his own hope that continued to bloom in his chest, his hope to fix and repair himself as soon as possible so he can present himself to you wholly, even if his time was running thin, even if he didn’t believe in himself, he still found comfort in the small amount of optimism that maybe he can bring the version of him that you adored in your to life.

You both knew that you fell in love with a side of him that he was too afraid to share, too doubtful to uncover and give himself and his most vulnerable parts to, and he knew that he had imprinted himself onto your mind, tattooed his presence onto your heart and he could say that the same implied to himself, it was only a matter of time.

But Jaeyun didn’t know that the longer he was taking to mend himself, he was breaking you further. Just how much longer were you supposed to wait for him to walk back and finally engulf you in his arms again? How much longer was he expecting you to wait while he cured himself? How much longer were you supposed to wait for his love? Unmindful of the way that you, yourself needed to heal as well.

Yet here you were, hand laced with jaeyun’s as he pulled you towards the dining room in the house, his excited giggles rang throughout the walls before the sound got trapped in your head and repeated continuously, your legs moved you in front of the table where a small chocolate cake was placed with three candles atop the icing.

“I made t—“ he started off before he felt your puppy’s fur graze his leg and cut his words, “me and layla made this for you.” He corrected himself, you were still facing the glowing cake with your oh so gentle gaze that never failed to make jaeyun sigh lovingly besides you, “happy birthday, my love.” He whispered, each word knitted with his undying devotion for you, and you felt it. Which made you love him further.

“Thank you, Jaeyun.” You replied, the room suddenly blurred from around you as your only focus was back to him again, to jaeyun’s charming smile and twinkling eyes when you finally faced him, the soft golden burn from the candles made him glow beautifully for you, with his closeness to your body and his fingers still intertwined with yours, you felt yourself falling in love with him all over again.

And jaeyun felt the same, your grateful grin as all of your features softened when your gaze met his made his heart melt into a puddle in his chest, the familiar electricity buzzed between both of your frames, the small glimmer of hope became a fired storm that lit and roared more when the two of you only seemed to get further lost in each other’s presence.

With jaeyun’s face inches away from yours, his arms reached to wrap around your waist, swiftly lifting and placing you on the wooden table next to the cake, the surprised gasp that fell past your lips made him chuckle, his hands then lowered to rest on your thighs, “make a wish, sweetheart.” He spoke, you could feel each flutter of his eyelashes against your skin as he held you close to him.

His slow breath that brushed against your collarbones when he pressed his forehead against yours, both of you closing your eyes to drown completely in this moment, dedicating your mind, body and heart in the close and comfortable warmth of one another that your souls craved for so deeply and desperately, the need clawing away at your heart and finally settling once your hand moved onto his chest, settling above his ribs. You almost melted against him when you felt the rapid thumping of his heart beneath your fingertips.

He moved his head into the crook of your neck, a sudden drowsiness creeping through him as he felt so safe and shielded with you so close to him, you didn’t feel as far and cold from him like you usually do, and that thought brought so much peace to his mind for the first time in months.

And so you breathed his scent deeply, surrounding yourself further in him as you made a wish where you weren’t asking for too much, just for jaeyun’s love.

“Blow them out.” He lifted himself away from you, his fingers ghosting against your legs while he smiled encouragingly at you, both of your eyes seemed glossier with the light of the candles casting down on them.

“Do it with me.” You requested with your tone fragile and careful. jaeyun’s widened, his eyes turning into crescents as he looked at you tenderly. He nodded making you turn your head towards the candles, the slight warmth provided by the small fire lead shivers to run down your spine before you both leaned down and blew on the candles together.

And right when you turned back to face jaeyun with a grin, you were left alone next to the chocolate cake, the cold air jabbing at your skin while your eyes uncontrollably sought for the sight of anyone, you could’ve sworn you felt warm hands on your thighs, but there was no one else in the room other than you and layla.

Where did this cake come from? And why were you not able to remember who made this cake?

「 i waited for your love. 」

All at once, the machine glitched. Losing its track on the map of your mind when the lights around your temples glowed scarlet, indicating the loss of the connection, the interlink pausing for a brief second when a sob wrecked through your body when you remembered the memory you were about to erase.

The nurse’s rushed movements to carefully pat your cheeks that were dampened with your tears were useless against your gut wrenching cries, a rush of emotions that raged in your chest before they fell through your eyes, like a dam shattering apart as the waterfalls streamed down your face and separated from your chin to land on your lap, gradually dampening the fabric.

“Please keep t-this one.” You whimpered, each word falling apart as your voice quietened slowly, your hands reaching to clasp around the necklace that graced your chest, the small piece of pine almost penetrating your skin with its sharp edges the tighter you held it when you opened your blurry eyes to the sight of the doctor and the nurse gazing at you warily, the sorrow was shared in the room as their sympathy towards you was clear in the windows of their eyes.

The woman’s warm hands gently held onto your shaking shoulder while you begged and sobbed with the machine glitching to please keep this upcoming memory, you felt helpless. More parts of your love, of your heart being ripped away from you were finally catching up to you and god was the pain absolutely unbearable.

Was this the punishment one had to pay for the innocent act of falling in love with sim jaeyun?

Words and voices became blurred and intangible from around you, the apologies from the nurse and the doctor never fully processing in your mind as the sorrowful memory had started to play ahead of your eyes with no help from the machine.

Your last whispers were to keep this memory, to leave the memory so you can hold onto the final and most precious piece of sim jaeyun that you got to see and experience first hand, the moment where your adoration and devotion towards the boy was solidified, before the pieces returned to glow in thier emerald hue and the device relinked.

Your head ached with the continuous tears flowing down your face when the memory of you and jaeyun sitting next to each other on the couch unfolded, his fingertips ghosted on your skin, dancing around and drawing shapes and words only he knew the meaning behind while he held you close to him, the inexplicable need and desire to hold you near took a hold of him, and you understood it.

You and jaeyun understood one another beyond the boundaries others deemed possible, you understood his soul so well, his soul that was crafted from a language so intricate and delicate and you were fluent in it. And when faced with the opposite situation of him knowing your soul, he flowed in every crack and crevice of your being easily.

his presence had seeped its way throughout all of your walls that you spent day and night building, growing rapidly all over your walls like vines before breaking them all one by one, till he rooted himself in a great spot, deep in your heart.

If possible, he knew your soul better than he knew his own. But the disagreement of your minds overpowered the link between your hearts and unraveled your tangled souls from one another.

And maybe your mastery in his language was the dawn for the demise of your sweet, innocent love. Because you hated that you could tell how fidgety and anxious jaeyun was around you in this current moment.

“Is something wrong?” You finally had the bravery to voice out, worry worsening when you felt his movements freeze. He cleared his throat before sighing, pulling himself slightly away from you to stare into your eyes.

You felt time slowing around you when you saw his glossy gaze, sim Jaeyun looked breathtaking with the amount of emotions that swirled in his eyes, an amount you couldn’t even begin to fathom or comprehend, you felt yourself gradually losing yourself the longer both of you drowned on the other’s presence, the atmosphere then carried a great sense of doom that both of you decided to ignore.

Too scared to face the results of your avoidance.

“I have a gift for you.” Jaeyun breathed out, the weight that he dragged on his shoulders became heavier when he continued his typical routine of ignorance, of running away from the problem in every possible direction even if they led him to the most tragic path.

Nodding to encourage him, you pursed your lips in anticipation, excitement sparking slowly when you finally pushed away every anxious thought of what could be possibly bothering jaeyun, his hands reached towards his pocket where he pulled a box, your eyes widening when— “I’m not proposing!” He quickly blurted out once he caught your shocked expression, “it’s just— a special gift.” He blushed making you tilt your head in confusion, unknowingly deepening the blush on his face.

“Here.” He handed you the white velvety box, your fingers brushed against the fabric one final time before opening the lid and god you’ve never felt so many conflicted emotions all at once.

The intense vehemence and hurricane of feelings swirling around your heart and chest uncoordinatedly lead the device unable to keep up with the contrast between your happiness in the memory and the sheer ache that you were facing in the current time.

Like the tides of an ocean, your regret washed down on you. Intensifying as if the waves were battling with a storm, escalating the worse the strikes of the thunder became with the time. How were you supposed to forget about him?

“Why are you crying?” His voice was weak, lips quivering in panic of you repelling his gift, hating the small pine cone necklace that adorned the box in your hands, “what?” You asked, confusion laced in your voice, you were over the moon why would you be crying?

You fingertips left the soft pine cone pendant to touch your face, flinching when feeling the small tear drop on the pad of your finger, you never cried in this memory.

“Please calm her down, her emotions are disrupting the memory.” You heard the muffled voice of the doctor followed by the panicked and comforting whispers of the nurse in your ear, whispered promises of living in peace and finding happiness barely reached your mind when you were wiping away your happiness yourself right now.

“Let me help you put it on.” Jaeyun proposed, smiling softly when you nodded and turned around after handing him the necklace, Jaeyun chanted words of reassurance in his head in hopes of calming his shaking fingers that burned when they brushed against your skin, clasping the necklace for the first and final time around your chest, he felt happiness and pride blooming in his heart at the satisfaction of having a piece of himself around you at all times.

“Turn around so I can see you, pretty.” He leaned in and whispered into your ear, his smile widening when you chuckled at his words and turned around.

But why was there no one behind when you turned?

Gasping through your tears with the pieces glowing crimson around your temples, you searched through the blurry figures of white coats and stethoscopes for a different one, though unknown to you who exactly you were searching for, your eyes still raced through every corner of the room.

“Please calm down, miss.” The nurse reassured, pushing the device back onto your temples when you still weakly looked around, too exhausted to respond or fight for your belief that someone is supposed to be here for you, “we’re one final memory away.” You heard the doctor talk before breathing a shaky breath in and taking your final trip to your memory lane.

“I’ll return before night, love.” Jaeyun shouted from the door, hoping that you weren’t able to hear his wavering voice when he left you on the only day you asked for him to stay, but after all of your attempts and requests to get him to stay were unsuccessful, you stayed in the room with your puppy as you waited for her father.

And what was supposed to be two hours became three, what became three turned into the evening, and here you were with your back leaning against the door Jaeyun walked out from when it’s past midnight, Layla’s figure quickly found your own crouched one, arms wrapped around your knees to allow the sleeves of your shirt to catch your tears when the thunder struck for the nth time that night, the night that Jaeyun didn’t return.

Your chest felt empty, as if your heart had been ripped and now the cold air passing through the void of where you used to hold a blinding love made goosebumps align like constellations along your skin, you felt hollow.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this, baby.” You cried to layla who’s ears only lowered, if it wasn’t for the poor lighting in the hallway you would’ve been able to also see her own glossy and hurt filled eyes at the sight of you, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t make him love me.” You turned your head from her silhouette. Shame, humiliation and heartache overflowing you entirely as you sobbed behind the same door jaeyun was leaning against.

He stood there with his frame freezing from the cold, another night of him not being able to tell the difference between the rain droplets falling from his hair and his own salty tears as he allowed the guilt to eat him up from the inside out, not having the heart to possibly open the door and greet the view of a heartbroken you.

He had seen the sight of your tired eyes too many times, and knowing that he himself was the root of the pain made the heartache devour him whole, so he slid down onto the wet floor beneath him with his back towards the door, chuckling tearfully at his own patheticness.

If only he had the bravery to free fall into the sweet and accepting love that bloomed between the two of you like you had, maybe he would’ve been on the other side of the door to engulf you in his arms and console you.

But who was he kidding, he’s the same guy that couldn’t handle the responsibility of your pure heart and distracted himself with other women, surrounding himself with different fragrances and lipstick prints all when the lady of his heart was always within arm’s reach.

He wished he had moulded himself back into the version of him that you met, the loving and easygoing Jake that gazed at you with stars in his eyes, but the damage had already been done. There was no turning back now.

Especially not when you finally opened your eyes fully to the blinding light in the room, the soft blue light being sighted in your peripheral vision, indicating the completion and the success of the operation.

Elation sparked in your body, gradually burning into a small fire when you couldn’t remember anything.

“How are you feeling, miss?” The nurse asked, a hopeful smile gracing her features while she gazed at a confused you taking in your surroundings as if it was your first time, “weirdly.. light?” The doctor chuckled at your words, “the operation was a success.” He spoke before grinning pridefully at his triumph.

“You did amazing, miss.” The nurse praised as she helped you to stand on your own feet with no heavy weight on your shoulders for the first time in months, discarding the metal pieces before shaking your hands, words of gratitude and wishes for a healthy and happy life were exchanged before you finally walked out of the door belonging to the office, taking your first strives with no burden or guilt surrounding you as if you were floating.

Oblivious of the knowledge that Jaeyun woke up with a headache on the other side of the city, the back of his head pounding with him barely able to register Layla’s worried coos, unable to fully open his eyes and lifting his hand to rub the sleep away before— wait was he crying?

The young boy stared at his hand that shined with his tears in confusion, why was he crying? He tried to remember if he had seen a nightmare, a dream, anything— only to reach no answer.

“Hey pretty, don’t worry about me it was probably a dream.” He decided on comforting his puppy that only cooed sadly, his hand reaching forward to pet her fur while the other reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone when it brushed against a foreign object.

Jaeyun’s eyebrows furrowed when he pulled out a small box from his pocket, the item resembling a weirdly intimate small box, he opened it to reveal a beautiful ring— a promise ring. embroidered with a bunch of small diamonds around the silver lining, his confusion deepening when he had absolutely no clue of who this ring could possibly belong to.

He searched the inside for any sort of engraving to no avail, “who was this for..?” He whispered to layla who deflated further into the floor, sadness overflowing from her eyes at the defeat and loss of her friend.

And at the end, you and jaeyun’s tragic love story became encapsulated into a small forgotten star in the vast, wide and endless sky.

Already opening new opportunities and doors for different stories to be woven into your lives, you finally met up with the guy your friend had set you up with, and you knew the decision of trusting her taste was successful when a tall, doe eyed guy showed up to your table.

“Hello, my name is heeseung.” He smiled sweetly, his warm aura welcoming and pulling you in completely, unknown to you that this was just the beginning of your story with the love of your life, both of you getting lost in tangled conversations filled with questions and your interests, unaware of the different couple passing outside of the window.

“Wait so jungwon scored right?” Jake laughed, engrossed in the story of how his best friend almost ended up in the hospital, “after making riki trip, yes.” The girl besides him chuckled when Jake threw his head back in laughter, without noticing how his puppy stood outside of a cafe window, layla was no longer following him and instead she seemed to gaze intensely into the window.

Her tail swishing in excitement and joy when she spotted your figure sitting on one of the chairs, accompanied by a man that wasn’t afraid to wrap his arm around your shoulder while you laughed at his words.

Both you and Jake blind to the sight of the conflicted puppy who’s head only swished on both of your distant figures with two different people around you now before walking away with a heavy heart in jaeyun’s direction.

Maybe you and Jaeyun were never meant to successfully intertwine.

— fin

a,note. this feels so weird to share now because this is my first ever heavy angst filled work that’s also very emotionally connected to me in a way, first of all thank you ariana for releasing album of the year and inspiring me to write this, if you haven’t listened to eternal sunshine please do as soon as possible.

second i’d like to share how somewhat uncomfortable it is for me to share this as i had to take a lot of breaks throughout writing it (i’m an emotional b word pls) and also there were alot of moments that were inspired by my closest friendships / emotional experiences so i really feel like im sharing some sort of part of myself with this as well, but either way i hope u enjoyed reading this !! i love u layla and i’m sorry :(

#enha x reader #jake x reader #jake #sim jaeyun x reader #sim jaeyun angst #jake sim angst #jake angst #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enha angst #enha jake #enhypen jake #enhypen jake fanfic #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen x reader #sim jaeyun fic #sim jaeyun fluff #sim jaeyun #sjy | brighter days inc ♡

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hoony2k · 23 days

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BEWITCHED AT FIRST SIGHT

It's supposed to be a simple task, film another challenge but...why does does his body feel numb, hands shake like jelly and heart beats like crazy?

PAIRING: OT7

GENRE: fluff, angst

WORD COUNT: 2k total

WARNINGS: none

NOTE: hii! It's finally here after eons! I'm finally satisfied with it, this was so fun to write. My favourite is hee's part <3 hope it lived up to your expectations, sorry for the wait. Enjoy :)

Requested. Masterlist

Part 4 of idol!enha x idol! Series

★ HEESEUNG:

One look and he knows what the heart wants.

Spring wedding, open area near sea, 3-tier vanilla and chocolate cake-

Heeseung’s always been a man who follows his plan so as he approaches, he begins to slow his walk and make himself as charismatic as possible. He pretends he doesn’t want to giggle as he observes how you quickly check him out. Barely noticeable, so swift that one blink and someone would miss it. Thankfully Heeseung was looking, waiting for your reaction. Your expression remains neutral, pretend to be busy fixing your belt.

Heeseung smiles like he’s won the lottery. Of course, it’d be more fun if you pretend you’re uninterested.

After a greeting that shouldn’t be so casual but is, Heeseung’s heart swells with pride seeing how you’re not backing down, keeping up the act but giving him an opening, letting the bait flutter near him but not too close.

“Do you want to rehearse?”, he asks. You barely glance at him and look at his manager but he knows who you’re speaking to. “I was thinking we’d do it in one take”. He shrugs his shoulders. You’re so close that his coat brushes your bare shoulder. You don’t take a step back. Neither does he.

The manager gives the two of you a confused look. “If we take the perfect first take, sure”.

You shine a million-watt smile at her, lips pink with glitter and gloss stretch to show off your teeth. Then, you turn to Heeseung and straighten your shoulders, trying to appear taller than you are yet you still crane your neck to look at him. Your pretty smile is gone but your eyes speak to him instead, daring and bold.

"Are you ready?"

Good thing Heeseung has always loved a good challenge.

★ JAY:

He doesn't think too much about it, it's just a small challenge, greet the person, teach them the dance, bonus points if they already know it and then actually film it and leave. He came mentally prepared to follow the same protocol he usually did when they filmed with female idols.

Although he did not expect to be swept off his feet the moment he heard your laughter as he turned and entered the hall where it was to take place.

Definity is mentally unprepared to see someone so ethereal that for a solid second, he has to pause his walk. His legs seem to be glued to the floor. All he can think of is how he needs to impress you on the first encounter, he has to make sure you keep thinking about him the way he knows he won’t be able to stop replaying your laughter in his head.

However, it's the first time Jay ever felt like this, he’s not sure how to approach it. His hands shake not because he's going on stage for the first time. The tip of his ears feel red and not because he's eaten spicy fried chicken. His tongue feels heavy, his mind scattered with nervousness and not because he's mentally unprepared. He knows what to do- film a challenge of his comeback song, the song and dance steps that have been engraved in his mind.

But when you look at him with those sweet welcoming eyes, Jay knows he’s gone. He stands next to you while his manager speaks but ahh!! he thinks of how he needs your number to be able to feel like he’s crossed the distance between you two.

You turn to address him but he interrupts you with a greeting, voice wavering.

There’s a pause, and confusion in the air but thankfully before it could get any awkward, you cackle and everything is okay again. You stretch a hand out and when Jay encloses it, he can't help but compare the difference in size.

You give him a teasing smile, “how are you?”

He’s not making it out alive.

★ JAKE:

he's not someone that actively watches performances of other groups online but he read up on your profile before meeting you.

Jake knows the image the site uploaded doesn't do you justice because it didn't capture the mole on your face, the delicate curve of your eye or the puzzled look in your eyes as you nod in the conversation.

He's able to recognise his feelings immediately, they're too dangerous. Alarms are blaring in his head and he needs to bottle this up before it fizzes out and he has to explore the sensation in his fingertips.

So that's what he does, he greets you with a big jake sim smile and asks about your day and if you ate.

Your eyes crinkle in glee and thankfully you respond with the same joy as him. Though he ignores how you sound even better in real life. His brain tells him award show performances will never be the same again- he needs to experience you singing live. But before that, he needs to film the challenge.

His manager asks him if he's ready, the unsaid "You good?" is loud for Jake but he replies with another smile. Larger and more confident. He tells himself he won't lose himself in the act- he can't risk it.

Then, he chooses to surprise his manager and himself but moving his entire body towards you and addressing you "Let's do our best!"

You clap in agreement, more motivated than before and Jake almost feels bad. You give him a bright thumbs up and tell him you look forward to his comeback, how sweet venom raised the bar for you. These aren't empty words, he sees the glimmer in your eyes.

Jake fears that he might have been too convincing with his friendly act and now you'll look for him in the halls the way he will try not to do the same.

The challenge is filmed smoothly and time passes by far too quickly much to his distaste. If it was up to him, he'd freeze this moment. Get himself stuck in a time loop with you so he could have eternity to soak in your presence, your confidence, your being.

But it's not up to Jake, it never has and right now he hasn't reached his peak. There are other precious people tied to his career, he tells his heart. It's better if he leaves the interaction here, in the past, ignoring the what-ifs and focusing on how to politely say goodbye and good luck. Focus on how to keep you at a safe distance in the future and ignore the guilt he feels.

★ SUNGHOON:

Sunghoon is aware of the effect he has on people. He’s learned to grow accustomed to how people stutter and can’t hold eye contact with him but he’s never been the one who goes weak in the knees- until today.

It’s supposed to be a simple, quick challenge filming, except it’s everything but that because one looks at you and he can’t stop replaying your shy laugh in his head. He’s rendered speechless. He offers you a ‘hello” nod that he hopes you don’t find disrespectful in your first encounter. He prays it isn’t the last. It’s as if fate brought karma upon him for accidentally leading people on. You don’t even look at him while the manager speaks and he can feel his heart twist.

Sunghoon has never wanted someone to glance at him so badly, so desperately.

“I can teach you”, is what he says, so slowly that his voice catches you off guard. You look bashful again, embarrassed almost and he regrets speaking. Do you like his voice? It didn’t crack even once.

You scratch your cheek, “There’s just one move I’m confused about”. Sunghoon can’t help the huge smile that escapes him. “Want to go over it together before we practise?”

He steps a foot closer, everything is beginning to blur, he can’t hear the murmurs of the nearby conversations, he can’t see anyone but you, not even the managers. Your perfume smells so soft, he wants to drown in it. it’s just you and the confidence in your eyes.

You give him a firm nod and Sunghoon knows the ambiguity behind it.

“Sure, why not?”, you say intending to prolong the meeting.

This time when he smiles, it’s not at your response but at the future he knows you see with him.

★ SUNOO:

He's genuinely so so excited to be here and film another challenge, he loves doing challenges and meeting potential friends. However, when you enter the room, he flashes a knowing smile. there’s a friend to lovers already in the works in his mind.

Sunoo is so bubbly throughout the filming, that it makes you wonder if his cheerful comments are subtly patronizing you. Remembering the first couple of steps isn’t a hard task but he compliments you as if you can solo the whole dance. After you get used to his presence and comments, only then do you realise that there is not a hint of malice or ill intent behind his words and actions, he genuinely wants you to feel comfortable and elt down your guard.

It’s a sweet gesture, one that you’re not accustomed to which is why Sunoo is so careful to not say anything that could be misinterpreted. He tells himself he only feels like he has to protect you because he wants to befriend you.

does he find you pretty? Sure, you’re an idol you’re bound to be pretty. It’s not that big of a deal but as soon as the atmosphere turns warm, with you and the manager exchanging jokes like old friends, he can’t help but wonder if he wants to be friends…or if is there something more his heart wants.

He knows he won’t be satisfied by the line between friends but the ambuity he feels doesn’t scare him. It makes him wonder what the future may hold for you. If you will invite him to film with him. It would be good PR and marketing, it would be something fans would want after seeing you dance to sweet venom. It would be something Sunoo would love- to meet you again. On camera, off camera, it didn’t matter.

But he won’t ponder on the what ifs, he won’t let himself second guess his actions when he asks for your number, and he won’t think if you find him charming as you type in your number. He’ll let the relationship take its natural course and hopefully begin something romantic with you.

★ JUNGWON:

he’s gone a good couple of years locking his heart away, never letting it think too much while he gazes at idols performing. He doesn’t let himself think about other idols unless it’s with a sense of inspiration or admiration. He almost perfected rejecting affection but all his hard work goes down the drain when he sees you.

You’re not even doing anything unusual, just talking to him like any decent person would. You ask him about his day and then drop a “let's work hard!” with a thumbs up and immediately fail at the first take.

It shouldn’t be so endearing watching you practise the same step over again and again but he can hear his heart rattle the cage.

“Put less pressure in the swing”, he advises and has to stop himself from holding your arm mid-dance. He clenches his fist instead and lets a dimple show. You glance at your arm and then back at him.

“I didn’t think about that”, you confess, a bit appalled, “Is that how you do it?”

The question makes him pause and wonder if it is how they all do it. He thinks of Ni-ki and then himself and gives a firm nod, but you don’t seem satisfied, the furrow in your delicate brows doesn’t leave. So you do something that shatters Jungwon’s world, breaks the cage he sweat blood and tears to build- heart leaping out of his mouth.

“I mean, is that how you do it? I want to match my style with yours”.

He blinks once, then twice. The tips of his ears burn red and he stutters for a coherent response. He’s completely forgotten his dance style at the sudden spotlight. The light you’re giving him.

“I guess, I could teach you how I do it”, he laughs unsure at your determined expression. It makes his heart soften.

He knows he can’t afford to start anything less than platonic with you, but thinking about you can’t hurt right?

★ NI-KI:

Ni-ki knows what respect feels like, how the feeling slowly spreads in his chest when he watches his seniors perform. It feels like everything but this. It doesn’t blossom slowly, it doesn’t make him feel jittery all over, it doesn’t distract him from his work to focus on how cute your freckles are or how there’s a hair strand that’s slipped out of your braid. He shouldn’t fix it, should he?

All he knows is that your attention on him will settle whatever he's feeling. Whenever you turn to him with your dazzling smile and sparkly makeup, Ni-ki feels like he can breathe again.

So, he begins to speak and speak and speak until the manager asks him if he wants to practice the dance instead.

You chirp in and agree, somehow you seem comfortable with him and he hasn’t even complimented you yet. All he talked about was how he loved your comeback. He feels his chest swell with pride when he realizes you’ve become more confident and assured when you mimic his teaching. Ni-ki thrives on how well you’re responding to his subtle attempts to appear cool so you can compliment him.

But when you do say “You make the hook look so easy”, fingers pinched and head moving along the beat, Ni-ki is rendered speechless. He was focused on wanting you to compliment him so bad that he had no idea how to react if you did.

Now, he lets his neck flush red and stutters his words, “It’s not that hard”. It isn’t when that’s what he’s been practicing for months but you haven’t!

The potential misunderstanding grabs him by the throat and he splutters, hands waving to console himself rather than you- you don’t look offended or upset.

You stare up at him with soft eyes yet Ni-ki has never felt so small.

“I didn’t mind anything”, you comfort him and he notices how your arm jerks upwards to pat him but halts midway, hesitant. Ni-ki lets out a breath to rewire his nerves.

He nods at you, gaining fortitude by the minute but in these moments of hesitancy where he almost touches your hand to fix its position or when you bite back another compliment, he genuinely believes that he’s not the only one with wobbly legs.

Thank you for reading!

All rights belong to me. Please do not copy/translate/edit.

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hooniblr · 1 month

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𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 (𝐘𝐄𝐓) 𝐈𝐈

PAIRING ▸ nishimura riki x female feader

WORD COUNT ▸ 4.8k

GENRE ▸ high school au, brother’s best friend au, fluff, angst

SYNOPSIS ▸ After spending the better part of your adolescent life crushing on your brother’s best friend, you finally decide to call it quits on your unrequited feelings when you come to the conclusion that’s all they will ever be—unrequited. The only problem is that getting rid of these feelings that have been lurking in your heart is much more difficult than you anticipated. Especially because the object of your affections keeps making it hard for you to move on.

Or the one where Riki resorts to blackmail.

WARNINGS ▸ reader as sunoo’s twin sister, riki as sunoo’s bestie, feat. some of the newjeans members, reader is an expert at hiding her feelings, misunderstandings, pining, slow burn, blackmail, broken promises, hurt feelings

prev | next

NOTE — thank you for all the love on part one! hope you guys like this part. mdni banner made by @/benkeibear

“You still haven’t told Sunoo about your new hobby?”

“No. I know he would just worry about me getting hurt.” You sighed. “So would my parents.”

Minji furrowed her eyebrows. “Don’t you think hiding it is doing too much? You’re not doing anything bad. It’s just jiujitsu.”

“You know how my mom gets. She wants me to do things ‘normal girls do’ like that’s going to make me act like her friends’ kids. Remember when she tried to make me join the choir?”

“Yeah.” Danielle grimaced. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get so embarrassed.”

You and Minji shared her grimace. Your audition probably went down as the worst in the history of the entire school. “I’m actually kind of good at jiujitsu, and I like doing it. If I tell Sunoo about it he won’t let me go back to the dojo ever again.”

Minji sighed. She knew you were right. Having an overprotective family would be the death of you.

“Come on.” She said, hoping to distract you from your inner turmoil. “Let’s go eat in the courtyard.”

“You don’t want to go to the cafeteria?”

"Riki’s in there.” Danielle reminded you. “So is Heeseung.”

“True.” You pursed your lips. “I’ll meet you guys out there. I have to drop off Sunoo’s stuff first.”

The hallway was relatively empty when you wandered up the stairs. You were glad no one was around because it would make it easier to drop off your brother’s bag—which he had inconveniently forgotten in the morning, again. When you glanced inside his classroom, it was completely alone, much to your relief.

After dumping the bag on his desk, you made a run for it. Sure, you were probably being overly paranoid, but you couldn’t risk running into Riki. Especially not after last night.

“Kim Y/N.”

Hearing your full government name made you freeze just before you reached the stairs. Your heart and mind had memorized that smooth melody long ago. You slowly turned around, heart stuttering despite knowing what sight awaited you. Riki’s usually sweet gaze had been replaced with one that was full of disapproving anger and something else; something you couldn’t discern.

“Riki.” You said his name breathlessly.

Your wide-eyed gaze only confirmed his suspicions. Up until now, you never had a problem being around him, or even looking at him. Right now, Riki could see that you were itching to get away from him as if he was some sort of parasite. He knew your awkward behavior was nothing more than a byproduct of hanging around that bastard Lee Heeseung, and it only made his anger grow immutably.

“I saw you last night.” Riki’s tone was accusing, knowing he was approaching the situation in a completely immature way. “I know you haven’t been hanging out at the internet cafe. You go to that dojo with Lee Heeseung.”

Out of all the things you expected Riki to say, him bringing up your secret jiujitsu lessons wasn’t on the list. It was clear that he disapproved, but you weren’t sure why he seemed as upset as he did. Did he know Sunoo wouldn’t approve as well? They truly were best friends. You were glad to see that the loyalty wasn’t just a one-way street despite the fact that it was now backfiring on you.

And so, like a deer caught in headlights, you could only blink at him bovinely as he gave you a stare that demanded answers.

“Does Sunoo know what you’ve been doing instead of going home?”

Your eyes widened in realization. Riki was going to rat you out.

“Please don’t say anything.” You begged, clasping your fingers together to form the classic pleading gesture. “I know he wouldn’t approve, and if he tells our parents then I won’t be able to go anymore.”

Riki clenched his jaw. Was being able to see that idiot so important to you? Enough to risk getting in trouble with your parents? He wondered how you would feel about Heeseung if you knew the truth about him. You definitely wouldn’t feel the same way about him if you found out what kind of person he really was.

Even so, your shimmering eyes had him thinking twice about ruining what you had with Heeseung. He could see that you were clearly infatuated with that idiot to the point that you were willing to upset your entire family by seeing him. The fact that you were even willing to go to that stupid dojo with him was enough indication of how much you liked him. (As if you avoiding him wasn’t proof enough.)

“Well—”

“Y/N!”

Sunoo bounded over to you with his rowdy friends following close behind him. Your panic-filled eyes glanced from Riki to your brother. You tried to straighten out your dismayed expression with a tense smile.

“Twin!” You exclaimed a little too happily. “I left your bag on your desk.”

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot—”

“I’ll see you at home.” You rushed out, not giving either boys a chance to respond before you took off down the stairs.

Luckily for you, neither of them followed after you. As you reached the bottom of the stairs, you looked back just to make sure. At that moment, you bumped into someone and nearly fell back. Stumbling awkwardly, you started to apologize for not watching where you were going.

“It’s okay. You’re not hurt, are you?”

Seeing Sunghoon’s worried expression almost made you roll your eyes. Instead, you told him you were fine and kept walking because the last thing you needed was to deal with your ex. Unfortunately, you weren’t allowed a stealthy getaway.

“What’s going on between you and Lee Heeseung?”

You glanced over your shoulder, annoyed that Sunghoon was following you. It would’ve been easy to ignore him, but you knew he wasn’t going to leave you alone since he had asked you in that nosy tone of his. “What are you talking about?”

“I saw you two at Jake’s party.” Sunghoon sounded insecure or something close to it. “Do you like him or something?”

An incredulous scoff tumbled past your lips. “What do you care? Are you jealous?”

“Yes—extremely.” His pout was objectively cute, but you couldn’t see it as anything other than annoying. “Since when did you start hanging around Lee Heeseung?”

It was usually easy for you to hide your feelings, but now your indignation was the one taking control as you turned to face him. “Around the time you stopped.”

Sunghoon’s eyes widened. If Heeseung had mentioned their brief friendship to you, it’s because he had explicit trust in you. The theory that he concocted the other night couldn’t be too far off from the truth. It made him feel a terrible dread in his gut. Heeseung wasn’t the type to reveal any private information, which brought Sunghoon back to the conclusion that you weren’t just anyone his former friend.

“So, Heeseung likes you then.”

You don’t think you had ever heard anything more ridiculous. It was obvious that Sunghoon was still too self absorbed to see that Heeseung had been pining for Song Yura for the longest time. His unrequited feelings are the reason you two had gotten so close. Not that it was any of your ex’s business.

You scoffed quietly before an apathetic smile spread on your lips. “Think what you want.”

Sunghoon frowned. As he went to say something else, you went out the exit leading to the courtyard. He could only watch you walk away from him with a disheartened expression.

Thinking you had successfully gotten him to back off was your first mistake.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“Which movie did you pick?” You wondered as you put the popcorn bag in the microwave.

“I didn’t pick one yet.” Sunoo said from the living room. “Riki’s coming over so I wanted to let him decide on the movie too.”

You nearly dropped the bowl you pulled out of the cabinet. Maybe you should’ve felt upset that Sunoo conveniently forgot to mention that his bestie was crashing your movie night, but you were too panicked to feel angry or anything related to that emotion. It didn’t even have to do with the fact that you were practically in love with Riki. Instead it was about the not-so-small tidbit that he knew your secret and was probably planning to tell your brother all about it.

“I thought you said it was just going to be us tonight.” You did your best to sound upset although you were sure your voice was shaking.

“Riki wanted to hang out. You know I can’t tell him no.” Sunoo pouted as you went to sit by him. “You’ve never had a problem with him coming over before.”

That was before you decided to get over him.

“The three of us haven’t hung out together in a while. It’ll be good for him to come over, anyway. He could use your advice.”

“My advice?” You mimicked curiously. “Advice for what?”

“He got a love letter from Song Yura today.” Sunoo said with a giddy laugh. “He didn’t let me see what it said, but I think she confessed to him.”

“Maybe it wasn’t a love letter.” You said pathetically, knowing it was your wishful thinking doing the talking.

“But she even has his helmet. Not his extra one, his favorite one. I’m sure it won’t be long before they’re a couple.”

It was hard not to feel like a deflated balloon with what Sunoo was saying. Not only because Song Yura was obviously someone very special to Riki (he didn’t let just anyone touch that helmet), but because you knew Heeseung was going to feel heartbroken once he heard the news.

You couldn’t be surprised that this happened. It wasn’t like this was the first time Riki had gotten a girlfriend. He’d had plenty between the time you’d met him and now.

So, why did this feel so much worse than all the other times?

The title of the movie the boys selected went over your head. Your inner turmoil had the knots in your stomach tightening with every passing second. You weren’t sure whether to focus on the fact that Riki might expose your secret or that one of the prettiest girls in school had confessed to him. The choice wasn’t left to you as your mind alternated from thinking about the two problems periodically.

Your eyes were focused on the TV screen, but you were too busy thinking to see any of what was actually happening. Honestly, it was a good thing that Riki could potentially get into a relationship. If he did, it would be the thing to help her move on once and for all. Although watching him end up with someone else wouldn’t be painless, it would for the best. At least that’s what you tried to tell yourself.

Also, should Riki start to date Yura, then maybe he would be too caught up in his relationship to bring up your secret. Or maybe that was more of your wishful thinking since Riki was much more bothered about your jiujitsu lessons than you expected. You still couldn’t figure out why. It couldn’t be just because of his friendship to your brother. No matter how many times you went over it in your head, you couldn’t figure out why he cared so much.

Somehow, the movie ended before you could focus on it. With Sunoo telling Riki to pick another movie because he needed to use the restroom, you mindlessly wandered into the kitchen under the pretense of making more popcorn for the second movie. In reality, you needed to put some distance between you and Riki. Being alone with him wouldn’t do your resilience any good, and it definitely wasn’t helping your nerves. Unfortunately for you, nothing ever went as planned.

“We didn’t finish our conversation.”

Your hands stilled. Calm down. Breathe. You pressed the start button on the microwave before turning around to face Riki.

His thick eyebrow was raised, and that domineering look from before made an appearance once again. “Are you really going to keep doing jiujitsu even though you know your family won’t approve?”

You almost told him that he also did plenty of things that his family didn’t approve of, but you knew it wasn’t smart to get snarky with the person who knew your secret. Telling him the real reason you were practicing jiujitsu was out of the question. So, left without any other choice, you decided to bring up your friend in the hopes that he would leave it alone.

“It’s something fun to do with Heeseung.”

Astoundingly enough, Riki’s stern gaze became even more lethal. “Can’t you do something else with that idiot?” His voice rose unintentionally. “How can you want to keep learning jiujitsu just because that’s what—?”

“Shh!” You hissed in a panic, practically pouncing on Riki as you placed your hands over his mouth. “Sunoo will hear you!”

As you looked towards the living room worriedly, Riki found himself frozen in shock. Your soft hands pressing against his lips had his heart pounding harshly against his chest. From this close, he could see every single one of your eyelashes and the deep color of your pretty eyes. He couldn’t seem to form a coherent thought, only focusing on the close proximity. You smell invaded his senses and disarmed him completely.

When you looked back at Riki, you noticed he was looking at you strangely. It was then that you realized how close you two were. Literally chest to chest. You jumped back, feeling a bit of heat spread on your face.

“Sorry.” You apologized. “Just please don’t say anything.”

You rushed back into the living room before Riki could say anything else. All you could focus on was your erratic heartbeat that wouldn’t slow down. How could he affect you so much without even doing anything? It wasn’t fair because you were sure your presence didn’t have the same affect on him. The heat on your face hadn’t gone down even when Riki came back with the popcorn. If he noticed how flustered you looked, he didn’t mention it.

“Y/N.” Sunoo said as he walked back into the living room. “What’s this? Is it yours?”

Your eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when you saw Sunoo holding up your gi. You nearly choked, not knowing what to say since you were practically caught red-handed. Since when did he go through the laundry?

“That’s Danielle’s.” Riki said suddenly. “She asked me to get it for her when I came over.”

Without any hesitation, Sunoo handed the garments to Riki. While you were grateful that he hadn’t outed your secret, the nerves of him possibly changing his mind had you fidgeting uncomfortably as the two boys picked another movie. All throughout the comedy, you kept stealing glances at Riki. He didn’t look at you once, and you mentally cursed him for being so good at hiding his emotions.

When it was time for Riki to leave, you offered to see him out. Instead of walking him to the door, you stepped out into the cold night with him. You stood in front of Riki, nervously playing with the hem of her hoodie.

“Thank you for not telling my brother.”

“I’ll keep your secret.” Riki promised. “But you have to do something for me.”

You should’ve been suspicious at the tone he’d gotten, but you were too caught up with his promise not to tell anyone about your jiujitsu lessons. “What’s that?”

“I won’t tell anyone about what you’ve been up to as long as you stop going to that dojo and stop seeing Lee Heeseung.”

You thought he was joking until you that saw his somber expression didn’t change. Your eyebrows pulled together in confusion. She could understand the first part of his request, but what did you being friends with Heeseung have to do with anything?

“What? I can’t just—”

“Should I let your brother know what you’ve been doing, then?” Riki raised a challenging eyebrow at you.

Your shoulders sagged. “No.”

Riki held back a grin, but only just. “So, do we have a deal?”

“Yes.” You agreed reluctantly.

His signature smirk made an appearance. He lifted his hand and rested it on your head, softly ruffling the top of your hair. “Good. See you later.”

“Wait!” You called, pointing at the garments in his hand. “My gi!”

Riki glanced down at the clothing in his hands. Again, he looked up at her with that smirk of his. “This? I think I’ll hold onto it for the time being.” His smirk seemed mocking now, but it was still fatally attractive. Damn him. “Go back inside. You’ll catch a cold out here.”

And so, you watched Riki get on his motorcycle and take off with a sulky scowl on your face.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“Y/N.”

Riki was leaning against his motorcycle as he beckoned you over to where he was. You hesitantly walked over, feeling your palms begin to perspire. Ever since you decided to go behind his back and still go to the dojo with Heeseung, you felt like you were on the brink of being caught.

“Where are you heading?”

To the dojo. “Oh... I was just going home since Minji and Danielle can’t hang out today.”

“Let’s get something to eat.” Riki’s words left no room for any disagreements. He handed you his spare helmet casually. “Hop on.”

You shook her head frantically. “Oh—no. You don’t have to. I’m not—”

“Come on.” He insisted, forcing the helmet into your hands. “Don’t you want your gi back?”

You scowled. “Fine.”

After putting on the helmet, you hesitantly got on the back of his motorcycle. It was embarrassing since you didn’t exactly fit on the edge of the bike, though, it mostly had to do with you sitting as far from him as the narrow seat would allow. You were sure you’d turn into putty if you had any physical contact with him.

“Hold on tight.”

You grimaced, torn between playing out the one fantasy that had been replaying through your head for months and your rational need to set boundaries so your feelings would stop growing. You awkwardly grabbed Riki’s shoulders, hoping that you wouldn’t fall off once he took off.

Riki laughed at your obvious unease. He decided to do a break check so you’d realize that not holding onto him wasn’t an option. Suddenly, you were flung forward. The front of your body collided with Riki’s firm back with a loud thud. For a moment, you thought you had hurt him until you saw his shoulders shaking with laughter. You glared at the back of his head. “Riki!”

“I told you to hold on.” Riki said, the lilt in his voice was teasing yet there was also a serious undertone to his words. “Do you want to fly off?”

You almost told him that you wouldn’t if he went slow enough. However, you kept your mouth shut and hoped your obsession wouldn’t grow as you hesitantly wrapped your arms around his torso. You gently rested your head against his back and closed your eyes. Just for a second, you told yourself. For a small moment, you would let go of the worries that burdened you and simply enjoy being close to the boy you liked.

Something unfamiliar tugged at Riki’s chest. His head shifted a little, wanting to catch a glimpse of the girl on his back. Your arms were secured around his waist and you were leaning on him, but he suddenly found that it wasn’t enough. Somehow he wanted you even closer. Riki cleared his throat quietly, pushing the unfamiliar thoughts out of his mind for the time being.

And so, you two sped off, neither of you noticing the boy who had been watching their entire interaction from afar.

You uncomfortably picked at the food in front of you. Had this been last year, you would’ve been overjoyed at sharing a meal with Riki (part of you still was), but now you couldn’t help but feel like this was all some sort of trap. Like he knew you had gone against your promis and was waiting on Sunoo to show up to tell him everything.

“Are you not hungry?” Riki wondered with a slight frown. “Bulgogi is your favorite.”

Honestly, you felt like puking up all the butterflies in her stomach, but he didn’t need to know that. “I’m not really hungry.” Your words were hardly convincing, but Riki seemed to believe you. “I got used to not eating as much because of jiujitsu.”

Riki’s jaw ticked in annoyance. “Is that really all it is?”

“Yeah.” You nodded your head. “I swear.”

That aggravated look he had been getting a lot lately found its way onto his face again. “Are you sure it’s not because you can’t see Heeseung?”

Your reluctance to answer the question had irritation crawling up his skin like a parasite. He knew that’s what it was. The shy look on your face was all the indication he needed to know you were thinking about that idiot. Riki only asked you because he hoped that you would tell him. Once you did, he would tell you that Heeseung wasn’t worth your time.

“It’s not like that.” You told him, confused that he was getting so worked up.

“Do you like him?” Riki demanded, needing to hear those words come out of your mouth. “Tell me the truth.”

His tone caught you off guard. You chewed on your bottom lip, wondering if you should mess with him a little since he took your stuff. Maybe it was petty of you, but you decided to do it anyway. You gave him a half-smile that you were sure looked more like a grimace. “That’s a secret.”

Riki was sure his jaw would snap at any moment from the amount of pressure he was putting on it. “Just know you’re out of his league. You’re way too pretty to settle for him of all people.”

You felt like your heart was ready to burst at any moment from how fast it was beating. Damn him. Damn your feelings for him. You were aware Riki only spoke his words out of kindness (and out of his dislike for Heeseung), but your dumb heart couldn’t tell the difference. It was clear that Riki didn’t see you the way he saw Song Yura. To him, you would always be Sunoo’s sister. But for a brief moment, you allowed herself to believe that he sincerely meant what he said.

Your shocked gaze had Riki coughing nervously. It wasn’t the first time he called you pretty, but this time it felt different from all the previous times. His words seemed more... intimate, somehow.

You didn’t realize you were full-on staring until the chime of a text notification pulled you out of the trance that was Riki’s intense gaze. Your jaw nearly dropped when she saw Heeseung’s name on the screen. He didn’t text you very often, and when he did it was only ever to tell you he wouldn’t be at the dojo.

Where are you?

You briefly glanced at Riki before quickly typing out a reply.

I’m at the corner restaurant near the dojo. I’ll be there soon.

You put your phone back on the table, feeling like there was an impending doom waiting for you. There was this inkling you had that nothing good could come from Heeseung’s ominous message. Even so, you chose to ignore it for the time being.

“So.” Riki cleared his throat, not knowing why he suddenly felt so shy. “What’s so great about your little crush, anyway?”

You contemplated your next words. Riki probably thought you were going to tell him about Heeseung, but he could never know what you were about to say was all about him. It was the only opportunity you would have to tell Riki how you really felt about him.

“Ever since we met, he’s been nothing but kind to me. He sees me for who I am.” The corner of your mouth lifted a bit. “Some people think he’s a jerk, but he isn’t really. He’s actually really sweet and caring.”

Riki’s expression hardened. Sweet? Caring? Yeah, right. He was sure that he could be much more sweet than Heeseung who had the emotional range of a fish.

“What about you, Riki?” You questioned despite knowing his answers would only hurt your feelings. “Everyone’s talking about how much you like Yura. What kind of person is she?”

Riki raised his eyebrows, baffled. “What? I don’t—”

He cut himself off when he saw a familiar (and unwelcome) presence approach the table. If you thought his gaze was harsh before, it didn’t compare to the murderous look that crossed his face in that instant. You followed his gaze, mouth dropping open in surprise when you saw Heeseung standing about two feet away from the table.

“H-Heeseung?” You choked out, unable to believe that he was actually there.

“I got worried when you didn’t meet me at the dojo like we’d planned.” He said like his words weren’t the equivalent of dropping a bomb of chaos.

You could’ve choked Heeseung right then and there. What the hell did he think he was doing? You gave him a look, one that you hoped he would understand. Either he didn’t notice it or he didn’t care. You were willing to bet it was the latter.

“What are you doing here?” Riki’s voice was deceptively calm. “Don’t tell me you’re following her.”

In the few times you witnessed the two boys around each other, you knew it always got ugly fast. You could see where this encounter was heading, and it was heading there quick. Luckily for you, your saint of a brother decided to call you right then.

“Sunoo!” You hastily answered your phone. “What’s up?”

“Mom wants us home for dinner. She made ribs.”

“Okay. I’ll be there right away.” You hung up before he could say anything else. You scrambled to grab your bag. “I have to go—family emergency. See you guys later!”

With that, you ran away from the uncomfortable scene that was unfolding without looking back once.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

You waited at the front of your school anxiously. Riki hadn’t mentioned anything to Sunoo yet, and you were hoping you could convince him not to with a bit of begging. The seconds ticked by, and while you still hadn’t seen his familiar motorcycle, you saw the person who had dug you into a deeper hole.

“Lee Heeseung!” You hissed as you pulled him to the side. “What was that stunt you pulled yesterday? You know I can’t have anyone find out that I’m learning jiujitsu.”

Heeseung looked unfazed as ever. “I just want to know what you’re doing. You said you were trying to get over Nishimura, but you were having a meal with him.”

Your right eye twitched. “That’s because he said he would give me back my gi!” You whisper-yelled, wanting to pull on the ends of your hair in frustration. “Which he didn’t, thanks to you.”

“I also wanted to ask him why he has a problem with us being friends. It’s not like you’re his little sister.”

You’re not sure why that made your anger simmer to a simple irritation. Also, Heeseung did sort of have a point. You laughed incredulously, shoving his shoulder a bit. “You’re so immature, Hee. You know he has a problem with it because he doesn’t like you.”

Heeseung highly doubted the only reason Riki didn’t want you two hanging out was because of their mutual dislike for each other. He knew that you probably wouldn’t figure that out any time soon because you were too overwhelmed with your own feelings, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t find out the truth on your behalf.

Your smile was quick to slip off your face when you saw Song Yura staring your way. The heartbroken look she had her on her face caught you by surprise. Even worse, Riki was standing directly behind her. You felt herself panic. If there was any hope that your begging would convince him not to say anything, it was gone now. Now you were certain that you wouldn’t be able to crawl out of the hole you had dug yourself in.

Riki on the other hand could only look on with a glare. He had never planned on exposing your secret. It was only a pretense to get you to stop hanging around that prick, but now he could truly see that your feelings were stronger than your fear of getting in trouble. He had suspected that was the case for some time now, yet it still made him feel sick.

Why did it have to be Lee Heeseung of all people? Why couldn’t it be... anyone else?

Riki turned on his heel and walked in the opposite direction, not knowing what to make of the heaviness in his chest.

taglist: @hoondiors @blurryriki @miiequalsx

#hooniblr.doc #niki x reader #enhypen x reader #niki imagines #enhypen x you #riki x reader #niki fanfic #enhypen fic #enhypen angst #enhypen au #enhypen fanfiction #enha angst #enha fluff #enhypen fluff #riki fluff #enha au

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pshcomforts · 24 days

Text

➳ afterglow | psh. — requested

non!idolsunghoon x olderfem!reader (feat. mark from nct)

“tell me this love is worth the fight”

synopsis: you forgot a special celebration with sunghoon, leading you guys to argue.

warnings/content: written in third pov. angst to fluff! slightly suggestive at the end (but nothing happens). age gap! (sunghoon’s 21, and reader’s 23). cursing! not proofread. sunghoon doubts himself :(

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 3.5k

a/n: message request.

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚

current song playing: afterglow by taylor swift

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

1:28 ───────|──────────── -2:14

tick. tick. tick.

the clock ran faster within each minute y/n glanced back at it.

a sigh left her throat as she focused back onto her computer — typing in data to keep the files updated.

the girl worked an office job in her early twenties. it wasn’t as ideal, but for a paid internship, she had to take it.

months had passed since she started the job, and whispers of a promising position had been hinted each day she walked in.

and since then, y/n’s attempted to keep her score of being a trusting employee on a streak by staying past office hours.

she was a workaholic, if you will.

but who could blame her? the pay was good, and the work was her field of interest.

however, today was not one of those days she was willing to stay late for.

it couldn’t.

today marked her 1000 day anniversary with her boyfriend, park sunghoon.

her lovely, patient boyfriend who was younger than her by two years. the boy was in his early twenties, barely getting the hang of life with college.

a few significant dates had already been missed with the internship in the way, so she couldn’t possibly miss this one.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

a quick buzz formed in y/n’s pockets, allowing her to take a swift glance at her phone.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 1000 day celebration with hoonie ੈ♡˳ ࿐ྂ

she groaned out a sigh as she felt a sudden pressure weigh in at her heart.

“just a little longer,” her voice mumbled before staring down at the time.

[ 4:37pm ] — it beamed.

just a few hours left and she’d soon be in sunghoon’s forgiving arms.

“hey y/n,” a deep voice called out to her, snapping the girl out of her guilt-eating thoughts.

she turned to her superior, mark, who was wearing a friendly smile.

“yeah?” she tried to sound cheerful.

“i know you get off soon, but with your hard work noticed, i was wondering if you could help out with a little more paper work?” he uttered with puppy eyes. “it’s just.. the way you file and organize suits how i usually go in on it. would it be okay?”

y/n froze in her tracks, conflicted with her options — leave work as planned for the important date with sunghoon, or further impress the manager for a permanent job.

“it wouldn’t take long, would it?” she chewed her cheek, lips almost bleeding with how much she awaited for an answer.

mark gave a light chuckle. “no, i wouldn’t make you stay too late, y/n. you always do that to yourself.”

the girl awkwardly laughed in return, murmuring empty words of how much effort she was willing to put in for the company before he left her with the paperwork.

her original plan of leaving early from such an exhausting shift had taken a pause as she huffed at the amount of files in front of her.

“shouldn’t take too long..,” she tried to

reassure under her breath.

in seconds, y/n dove into the piles of paperwork — attempting to finish on time.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

[ 6:48pm ]

time was slipping through her fingers and the girl wasn’t even noticing it.

minutes passed within each time she glanced back at the clock, irking her to go quicker.

she had to finish on time, she just had to, at least before 9:30pm.

[ 8:21pm ]

coworkers around were now finishing their shift, leaving their cubicles to clock out for the night — leaving y/n with a few others.

“come on, i’m almost there.” she whispered to herself, sweat nearly dripping down her face with how much work she was powering through.

“good night, y/n!” — a few workers would beam to her, causing her to give a quick wave before going back to her job.

[ 9:18pm ]

the whole building was nearly abandoned now. the only remaining employees were mark, y/n, and about two more workaholics.

she was almost done. almost.

with such little time left, panic began to exude in the girl’s body.

“12 more minutes.. please,” she sighed.

a quick glance to the time was made before she decided to shut down every time displayed in front of her.

it was risky, but looking at the clock would only emit more anxiety to finish.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

soon enough, the filing job had run its course, and y/n was done.

“finally!” she beamed, stretching out every bone in her body.

her tired eyes glanced everywhere for the time before she realized her method of avoidance from earlier.

“did i make it..?” she questioned, but with every nervous breath she took, it was obvious she had no hope she did.

slowly, the girl lifted her phone to check the time.

[ 10:03pm ]

her fatigued body froze at the bright screen before feeling it defrost with a shiver to the spine.

she felt her breath get heavy as she searched for a message from sunghoon — just anything that may ease the guilty pressure on her heart.

but nothing.

no messages, no calls — nothing.

y/n bit her teeth together, clenching her jaw in regret.

sunghoon had been looking forward to their 1000 day celebration, and she failed him.

a shaky sigh left her throat as her hands fisted in shame.

“hey y/n,” a voice spoke from behind, causing her body to tense.

“oh, hey mark.” she murmured back, mind still flooded with sunghoon.

“you’re still here? i got your files, you’re good to go,” he responded. “by the way, i really appreciate your work here. i hope the ceo considers you here long term.”

y/n sighed in relief as a reply, body taking its final hit of exhaustion from sitting all day.

“you’re a great worker,” mark continued with a polite smile.

a few rewarding compliments remained to run through his mouth, allowing her to get a slight ego boost.

she beamed a smile towards him, truthfully forgetting about how much she had failed sunghoon.

“i hope to see more of this from you soon, y/n. we’re the last here so i gotta lock up.” her superior uttered to her.

the girl nodded her head before gathering her things and leaving for the boy to do as he said.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

the drive home from work was quiet.

y/n was worn out from the constant piles of paper work and to be quite frank, all she wanted was some peace and quiet.

the only thing that ran through her mind was how much mark had sweet talked to her about her work skills.

it was promising to hear all of that, and she couldn’t wait to tell it to her boyfriend — her boyfriend who waited hours for her.

but her energy was still wearing thin. every muscle movement she made in the car caused an aching bruise to form.

so when she arrived home, her hands slowly creaked the door open.

a sigh left her throat as she entered in.

everything was quiet and sunghoon couldn’t be found until she glanced to her left. the boy was sitting on the couch in silence, eyes lost in a daze and face blank with no expression presented.

then it hit her.

her blameworthy actions came back to guilt her once she found her person stiffly sitting down.

y/n took a gulp. she was the older one, but she knew how he was during arguments like these. she knew he was one to stay silent just to keep his emotions together.

“hoonie..?” the girl nervously mumbled, almost a whisper to his ears.

sunghoon only stood with a click to the tongue, jaw firmly clenching as he walked to the kitchen.

the atmosphere was quickly filled with tension in how much he ignored her.

“hoon?” she called out once more, only to get a slight glance back as a response.

the boy continued to gulp down some type of beverage, actively letting her presence go unnoticed.

y/n groaned in return, watching his petty efforts become the consequences of her own actions.

but truth be told, she was tired.

she was working all day, back to back with no break whatsoever and all she wanted was to get some sleep.

“sunghoon,” she sighed. “please, i’m sorry. i’m exhausted and work just kept pulling me back. my superior wanted me to file more before my shift ended and i-“

“work this and work that, that’s all we’re gonna talk about isn’t it?” hoon angrily spat, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. the boy ignored the mention of mark with how pissed he was.

✩ ‘fighting with a true love’ ✩

all y/n could do was pause at his outburst.

“i’m sorry, sunghoon, i’m tired and-“

“and i was waiting for you all day to come home for our celebration.” he cut off once more, teeth biting down to mush away the heart aches.

✩ ‘is boxing with no gloves’ ✩

sunghoon finally turned after softly slamming the drink down onto the counter. his darkened eyes met hers, burning holes before quickly tearing up.

“i know..,” she bit her lips, shutting her eyes to avoid her heart breaking at his gaze. “i’m so sorry, sunghoon, i am. i just couldn’t leave, staying after hours just promised me a permanent position. please understand, this is what i’ve been working for.”

hoon scoffed. “are you in a relationship with me or your work?”

she exasperated a sigh before walking to the living room and slumping down on the couch. almost instantly, her body felt the soft, cushioned seats that welcomed her — allowing her to feel drained again.

“please, hoon, i’m tired-“

“that’s how our arguments always end, doesn’t it? you forget a date of ours, then you come home and you say you’re tired, then we’re fine the next day.” the male ridiculed, walking to the living room as well. “when is this gonna stop, y/n?”

“sunghoon..,”

“no, you’re saying you’re tired but i’m the tired one.”

y/n sighed as she sat up, body becoming depleted of energy. “i’m sorry but this internship is worth everything right now, and i’m doing so well with making an impression.”

“worth everything?” sunghoon reiterated with a shaky tone. “even our relationship?”

✩ ‘chemistry till it blows up, till there’s no us’ ✩

“what? no, hoon, that’s not what i meant.”

“is that what our relationship means to you?”

she looked up to his eyes that were inflamed with betrayal. “this job defines my future, sunghoon. this job is what i’ve always wanted, can’t you see that?” a hint of irritation was made present in her voice, showing that her sleep deprivation was irking her to be annoyed.

sunghoon sniffled, quickly wiping away a few tears so his girl wouldn’t feel troublesome. “i see that, y/n, i see it very clearly. i feel like i never see you anymore, in fact. you’re barely here.” his tone was firm, hinting that he was reflecting the energy back.

“this job is for our future too, sunghoon. i’m working to get a good position for financial stability.” y/n uttered, feeling her droopy eyes threaten to close. her mind quickly recalled back to their slight age gap as she felt the weigh of carrying it all on her shoulders.

“our future? you really think there’s gonna be a future with us when i never see you anymore?” the boy murmured, fists clenching with every word that left his mouth.

he hated what he was saying, but it was the truth.

however, her heart still dropped when she processed what he had uttered.

“you don’t think there’s a future with us..?” she took a particularly harsh gulp as tears finally streamed down her cheeks.

“you’re never here, y/n. how can there be a relationship if it’s only one person putting effort?” sunghoon responded, tears taking its fall for him as well.

the two stayed quiet.

no more raised voices and no more hushed words.

they both had reasons to be mad at each other, but they couldn’t see the others point.

y/n didn’t know what to say. her reasonings were being constantly repeated, but it seemed like it wasn’t going through his head — same with him.

“hoonie.., i’m sorry that i’m not there a lot but, i.. i’m just trying really hard to impress my superior and it’s-“

“your superior?” his soft voice squeaked. “mark..?”

the girl raised her head to peer up at him, only to find his thick brows slightly scrunched while his lips were molded into a frown.

“yes,” she sighed. “mark.”

“you stayed late on our 1000 day celebration with mark?” he uttered, voice weakening at the thought.

“yes, but mark’s just my superior. he has to be there when i work late.”

sunghoon scoffed, shaking his head with a low chuckle. no words could be formed with how much jealousy was seeping through him.

“sunghoon.”

he turned his body away from hers as a response, jaw tensing with every envy thought that she unintentionally spent their 1000 day celebration with mark.

“park sunghoon,” y/n firmly called, causing him to look at her. “you can not seriously be jealous right now.”

“jealous that he got to have time with you, and i didn’t? ridiculous.” he let a small puff of air slip by his lips before gazing back at her.

at this point, the girl was completely worn out. she wanted silence, and this argument was bringing her to her limit.

“you really can’t be jealous of mark. i’m your girlfriend, he’s a coworker; and i’m only there late because of how hard i’m working to secure this job, to ensure our financial stability.” she repeated, voice slightly raised as her patience wore thin. her body was begging to rest, and she didn’t know how much longer she could take this quarrel.

sunghoon stayed quiet, considering his choice of words before mumbling, “how much does he make?”

they locked eye contact and y/n instantly saw his teary, red eyes that begged for reassurance.

“what?” she softly asked, word almost incoherent with how much her heart shattered at his gaze.

the tall male shamed his head away, tears painting his cheeks more as he reluctantly croaked — “nothing, never mind.”

“hoon-“

she stood, body barely standing on its own,

but her boyfriend walked away with a murmur — “good night.., gorgeous.”

he still said her favorite nickname even through all of this.

before y/n could say more, sunghoon had already disappeared from her sight — walking into their bedroom without another word.

she sighed whilst sitting back down onto the couch. her boyfriend had just built a barricade around his feelings, shutting himself out to push her away and she wasn’t sure on what to do.

✩ ‘i blew things out of proportion now you’re blue’ ✩

but if he needed space, then she was gonna give it.

✩ ‘why’d i have to break what i love so much?’ ✩

so she settled down onto the couch, situating between the extra pillows and blankets kept in the closet to not disturb him any further.

it wasn’t as snug as her bed with her favorite boy, but it’d do for now.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

[ 12:52am ]

y/n was half asleep on the couch now after having dreaded doubts about their argument.

her body faced away from the opening side, giving her no possible way of catching sunghoon if he were to get up for a bathroom run.

she felt cold and stiff without him. nothing would be able to comfort her as much as his embracing warmth could.

the girl softly sniffled, feeling tears well up in her tired eyes while attempting to go to sleep.

as her heart laid heavy with her, sudden feet movements were heard from her opposing side — hinting that her boyfriend had gotten up.

she figured that it was most likely for a quick bathroom break but when she felt his arms suddenly engulf her into his chest, the weighed feeling was relieved of her.

his soft breaths against her neck only acquired the way he couldn’t sleep without her.

“sunghoon?” y/n faintly whispered against him.

“we’re still mad at each other but i just can’t sleep alone tonight,” he hoarsely said back.

a smile curled onto her lips as she turned her body to face him. the boy’s eyes were closed but she could still find traces of tinted red all around.

✩ ‘it’s on your face, and i’m to blame’ ✩

“hoonie.”

✩ ‘i need to say’ ✩

slowly, he fluttered his eyes awake with a quiet sniffle in his nose. he raised his brows ever so slightly as a response, shattering her heart in the process.

she leaned in before placing a soothing kiss on the tip of his nose.

“let’s talk,” y/n uttered, lifting her drowsy body up to sit.

sunghoon softly groaned. “it’s late, baby.” he said in a low, attractive voice.

“i know, but i want us to talk this out so we can go to sleep without any worry.”

she pulled her boyfriend up so he could sit up as well.

he exhaled a heavy sigh of his before letting the quiet atmosphere take over for a second.

“you deserve someone who can provide more,” he broke out, causing her gaze on him to immediately soften. “someone who isn’t just a lost twenty-one year old figuring out life, someone like mark.”

sunghoon felt tears spark at the rim of his eyes once his confession was let out. “you shouldn’t be..,” he paused, throat closing at his reality check. “you shouldn’t be with someone like me. i’m still a college student and.., you just deserve better.”

y/n instantly felt her heart drop with his worried doubt. she let the boy stream down tears so he could cry it out and once he did so, she muttered — “hoon, please look at me..,”

but he avoided her stare, just for a second so he wouldn’t break down again. and when he finally looked at her, she embraced him into her arms.

she wrapped herself tightly around him, hinting that she wouldn’t ever leave like he said.

the male hugged back, arms clinging around her waist as he quietly sobbed a little more.

when y/n pulled away, her hands quickly cupped his cheeks — making him look at her with his eyes that were sparkled from the tears.

“you’re doing enough, sunghoon.” she confirmed with a sniffle. “everything you’re doing is enough. i don’t need or will ever want mark, i like working like this because it gives me motivation, and i love you.”

✩ ‘i’m the one who burned us down’ ✩

her last three words were emphasized before she contently sighed and continued — “i’m sorry that i stayed late on our anniversary. i shouldn’t have because i know this day was important to you too. i’m really sorry.”

✩ ‘but it’s not what i meant, i’m sorry that i hurt you’ ✩

the boy pressed his lips together to form a bread smile. “i’m sorry too, you’re a hard worker and that’s what i love about you. i shouldn’t have said those things earlier.”

y/n wore a half smile, shaking her head afterwards to say, “i know my work schedule is difficult with yours but we’ll make it through this okay? we always do because nonetheless, this is my life and i love that you’re in it.”

the girl placed a sweet and reassuring kiss on his cheek as she said, “you’re my boyfriend and i intend to keep it that way until we hit another chapter.”

✩ ‘i don’t wanna lose, i don’t wanna lose this with you’ ✩

sunghoon’s last tears dropped for the night as he pulled her into a crying kiss.

his lips touched hers and he immediately felt relieved. a quiet groan slipped by his lips in the process, allowing y/n to smile into their kiss.

his hands firmly cupped her cheeks while hers were entangled into his messy hair.

his thick brows were deliciously scrunched together in satisfaction before they both pulled away.

“another chapter, hm? want to start that right now?” the boy teased with a grin.

“sunghoon!” she shouted back, allowing her boyfriend to chortle out laughter.

“i’m kidding!” he flashed a wide smile at her before murmuring, “i’m tired anyway.”

y/n playfully rolled her eyes before smacking his arm. “sure.., let’s just go to sleep.”

she dragged sunghoon to their bedroom, slumping her body down immediately after.

the male giggled and laid down on his side, pulling her into his chest like he always did. her hands gently rested on him as he placed chaste kisses on her forehead.

“good night, pretty girl.”

“good night, baby.”

✩ ‘meet me in the afterglow’ ✩

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

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bywons · 14 days

Text

𖧷 HEARTSHAKER — LHS

⌕ lee heeseung doesn't know what he wants from his rival, better marks or a kiss

pairing. student!lee heeseung x student!fem! reader wc. 1.4k tw/cw. jealousy, kissing genre. academic rivals to lovers, fluff, highschool au sru's note. requested for my nini love ♡ shitty title ik but i hope ya'll like cuz i dont T0T ( CATALOGUE?! )

¤ feedbacks and reblogs are always appreciated! PLS REBLOG ♡

96 out of 100.

thanks to the almighty above that lee heeseung is tired, the basketball jersey stuck to his back, sweat covering his face and colouring the red fabric darker as he pants for his breath, or else the test paper in his hands would have been crumpled and ripped to shreds.

not because of his number obviously.

“99, i knew i rocked this paper!”, a dulcet, familiar voice floats up to heeseung's ear from behind him, followed by a mean eye roll from him and his stance still. heeseung doesn't bother to turn around, not when he recognizes the infuriating feminine voice and already visualises the usual dark brown braids hanging by the either sides of her face, school tie too tight and almost reaching the last button of the shirt.

“why the long face?”, jake's interruption breaks heeseung out of his trance, as he takes the much unwanted seat beside him, “96 not enough for ‘ya?”

“oh shut up”, heeseung returns jake’s scoff slamming down his physics answer sheet against the wooden table. both heeseung and jake know it's not enough, whether it's a 96 or a 99 ’cause,

“it's never enough unless i cross y/n’s marks”, heeseung sighs, the answer sheet dampening under the pressure of his sweaty hands, as his forehead became the victim of the other.

everyone in the class is aware of the cutthroat competition and abhorrence between the two brunettes, already expecting the usual bickering episode between the two whenever it was time for exam results, and even if by chance someone got the same results as any one of them, they'd do their best and not bother the two.

but today is different, today heeseung doesn't find his usual energy to bicker with the braided girl sitting at the back of the class, not when she managed to beat him thrice in a row at his own game!

“last time it was a marks’ difference and now three? how is this even possible?”, heeseung groans while flipping the sheets over and over as if something magical would happen and increase his numbers.

“i heard park sunghoon's been studying chemistry with her,” jake sighs, pushing his fingers through his dark hair as he turns his head to the side, but his eyes steal a glance at heeseung, and he smirks, “‘ya know, the chemistry toppe—”

“yeah yeah i got you jake, i know who he is”, heeseung presses the bridge of his nose a bit too hard, the familiar face of the boy floating up to his vision, though he can't remember where his loved moles are on him. oh how all the girls are head over heels for park sunghoon.

is y/n one of them too? he could swear they're hanging out too much.

stupid thought, stupid stupid thought. heeseung winces at his sudden curiosity, why is giving this matter so much thought? he doesn't like y/n anyway, he doesn't like her bickering, he doesn't like her annoying attitude, he doesn't like her hair, he doesn't like her scent and he definitely doesn't like her smile. so lee heeseung shouldn't really get his head messed up in this.

the school bell rings, bringing out new tedious groans and sighs from the students as they dawdle to their next classes.

“i think she's coming here—”

“don't you have a physics class to be at, jake?”

“yeah yeah shoo me away all you want to”, jake scoffs, a smirk playing at his lips when he slings a bag on his shoulder before leaving the class, “bet you can't shoo away her.”

and before heeseung even knew it the class was empty, except him and as empty, dispersed out in the crowded hallways to their next classes. that is unless the previous dulcet but annoying voice came closer to heeseung.

“heeseung!”, you chirp, approaching him from behind, “how was your paper?”

“ugh what do you—”, heeseung's anger dies down when he turns around to face you, your hair's not done into braids today, instead it's let open with your tie loose this time, a few drops of sweat sticking to your forehead, dance practice maybe? “—w-want?”

“your marks of course,” you giggle at his stutter, taking a seat beside him, “wanna make sure if i beat you or nah.”

“yeah you did, but not on your own huh?”, heeseung scoffs, looking down at you. he realises his heart skips a beat when you tilt your head to the side, holding eye contact.

not good.

“huh? what do you mean heeseung?”, you pout, acting ever so confused by his accusation, “not on my own?”

“oh come on, the whole class knows it now”, heeseung rolls his eyes, “park sunghoon, rings any bell?”

“oh hoon?”, you grin, covering your mouth and suppressing a small giggle, “he did help me a lot with chemistry, he's so sweet!”

heeseung doesn't realise his face is getting hotter and redder by the minute, both by your presence and the pronunciation of somebody else's name. he has a nickname already? hoon? no way, you have only ever interacted with him, whether it was bickering or asking for notes or silently sitting beside each other. so how did this other guy pop up?

“hoon,” heeseung mumbles his nickname, his eyes searching for something in yours and he doesn't even notice he's sounding jealous, “how are you guys so close already…”

“well he's been tutoring me chemistry for a month now—”

“a month?!”, heeseung's brows lift up and his jaw hangs open.

heeseung doesn't know if he likes your new look, the way the curls of your hair rests on your shoulders, the way your tie is loose from your neck and the way your head tilts to look at his, heeseung's heart skips a beat and it knows something is wrong.

“why? is something—” your lips fall apart, a soft blush takes place on your cheeks and you giggle again, in a teasing tone you nudge heeseung's arm, “aww are you jealous?”

“what? don't be ridiculous now.”

“heeseung is jealous, you are jealous, you are jealous j-e-a-l-o-u-s”, you continue this song, nudging heeseung and teasing him more and more, causing his cheeks to heat up, eyes turning back to the open window and then back to yours.

“shut up y/n, you're not funny”, he scowls, the soft breeze enters the empty classrooms and hits the both of you like a refreshing wave.

and in that moment, through your teasing manner, the empty classroom, the echoes of your laughter and the soft breeze caressing your hair, your long dark hair that matched his and the way his heart skipped a beat, the way his heart always skipped a beat while you were around, he realises it's something good.

“if you shut up now i swear y/n”, heeseung tried and kept his best ‘angry at you’ acting.

“oh really? then why don't you make me?”, a soft chuckle leaves your lips and you squint your eyes.

it happens all so fast, heeseungs soft lips on yours, falling right into place. it tickles you a bit like feathers and pulls you in, until you realise that's his hand snaking around your waist. the kiss was delicate, caring and brought so much warmth from a person you only argued with.

you gasp for air, first one to pull back.

you meet his eyes, scurrying through yours and cheeks all red, probably embarrassed of what he did. the kiss quickly coloured your cheeks, a shy smile playing around your lips and a small glint in your eyes.

“i-i don't know what i did—”

“its okay heeseung”, you shush a nervous heeseung, the proximity increasing the pace of your hearts, “do you like me?”

“i love you”, heeseung answers almost instantly, “i love everything about you.”

“me too”, heeseung is the most relieved as he hears this, that hoon guy got nothing on him now. he's the winner.

“so, are we gonna date then?”, he chuckles.

you nod, “let's surprise the class together!”

lee heeseung doesn't know what he wanted when he got his answer sheets. better marks than y/n, a bickering episode with her, or maybe her to fall in love with her? he doesn't know.

a smirk falls upon his lips and he pulls you closer by your waist. he looked ever so magical and beautiful up close, that you wish the bickering had died down earlier.

“whatever you say, pretty girl”, he leans in for a second kiss, indulging himself more into you, he swears his heart will beat out of the chest as soon as his free hand makes contact with your dark strands of hair.

outside the class stands a grinning jake with a bored sunghoon, and a quite high five is shared between the two, carefully peeking inside.

(📌) :: TAGLIST IS OPEN! @euncsace @ii-nu @leaderwon @dimplewonie @yrhome @heartswonn @jwonistic @aaa-sia @ashtxrie @kgneptun @lilacnini @haechansbbg @river-demon-slayer @in-somnias-world @teddywonss @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @mylstserenade @branchrkive @aishigrey @nctislifue @greyminyoon1 @ro-diaries @rikibun @sleepyxxhead @belowbun nets! @/k-labels

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snghnlvr · 5 months

Text

[2] 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞. / park sunghoon

park sunghoon x fem reader!

synopsis : you’re in a crisis whether or not to avoid sunghoon forever after your indirect confession backfired, however sunghoon wants to know why you’re ignoring him. you realized that you can’t avoid him for the rest of your life.

here’s part one of take a chance with me!

includes : 2.1k words | cursing | jake and yunjin makes an appearance!! | angst to comfort to fluff !! | happy ending :3

extra : i didn’t expect so much love part one received T-T thank you so much for supporting it <3 | yn is me when i deal with a messy situation :// | sunghoon is touchy?? | both of them are a blushing mess lol | KISSING | i’m sorry if part two isn’t up to your expectations T-T

likes, comments, and reposts are very much appreciated <3

[below the cut]

“you like sunghoon!?” your best friend, yunjin shrieked. her eyes were wide and her mouth opened, leaning back in shock as both of you are sitting in your bed.

you nodded disappointedly, holding a pillow on your lap.

after what happened last week, you decided to share the news to your best friend, yunjin because one, you needed to rant to someone and two, you’re comfortable around her as she’s open minded with a lot of things - especially with boys.

“you mean, the park sunghoon?” she emphasized each other, leaning closer to you with each other and scanning you as if you’re lying.

you nodded once again. “alright yunjin, share it with the whole world!” you rolled your eyes with her as yunjin leaned back again, nibbling her lip. she was thinking of something to solve the situation you’re dealing with because heck she didn’t know how to fix this one.

“argh!” you groaned, laying down in your bed as you covered yourself in your fluffy blanket. you closed your eyes for a few seconds, trying to collect yourself and not rethink about last week.

yunjin just stared at you, eyes wandering all over your room. “well,” she started.

“sunghoon doesn’t know that it was you sending letters.”

you removed the blanket from your face, pouting at yunjin because she does have a point.

“but he said that he hates people sending him letters!” you shouted, once again putting the blanket over your head.

yunjin believes that you’re acting like a little girl. and you would think yourself too.

“but he doesn’t know that it’s you!”

“but he said it himself!”

at this point you kept arguing with yunjin, back and forth, screaming at each other’s faces. there was no solution except talking it out but you’re blushing at the thought of talking to him. you can’t bring yourself to talk to sunghoon, it’s just embarrassing.

[now playing… take a chance with me by NIKI]

in the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.

you looked out the window as it’s a free period from your class schedule. it was cleaning period so all of your classmates are all over the place. you leaned down with your arms planted down on the window. your eyes were scattering at the outside view from your building.

the faded music from your classroom that was played from your classmates, did not help you in moving on from park sunghoon, if anything it made yoh regret everything, even your rejected letters.

your eyes were following each snowflake in a way to stay awake. your tired eyes were starting to shut off due to your classes that were stressing you out. you were also mentally drained from thinking about sunghoon and what to do.

do you continue being friends with him after he indirectly broke your heart or just flatly avoid him like a coward you are? both of them doesn’t solve anything.

you heard sudden screaming from down the hall. your eyes shifted from the view to whatever commotion was happening. it was getting crowded by girls so you didn’t know that was happening.

you kept peeking at whatever was happening. you were curious of it.

your heart paused when you caught a glimpse of sunghoon.

after the news spread like rapid fire that sunghoon won #1st place in his competition, sunghoon’s popularity rose. girls started to like him more and people wanted to be friends with him. it worsen your chances of liking sunghoon.

you noticed sunghoon’s cheek dimples when girls started mini conversations with him especially complimenting him and giving him gifts as a way to congratulate him in getting #1st place.

you smiled at the sight, feeling bitter as the feelings you felt last week were reoccurring. you miss that smile of his.

maybe it is time to move on.

as you were standing up, grabbing the broom next to you to sweep up the dust on the floor, sunghoon finally noticed you.

he’s been wanting to talk to you, heck, even see you but you weren’t in his sight. even when in class, usually you would try to steal glances (yes sunghoon knew about it but didn’t say anything) across the room but now, you just focused on the work in front of you. not even sparing a glance at him.

he observed you, assuming, are you ignoring me? he even pouted when you just left class, walking past him when his eyes were planted to yours, trying to make you look at him.

and now he has this opportunity in front of him. you weren’t busy nor occupied with someone. he quickly apologized to the girls, saying that he has somewhere to go.

he tried to leave the scene, making sure he isn’t pushing anyone and tries to jog towards you with your back faced towards him.

“y/n!”

you froze, recognizing the voice that was calling to you.

you turned around like a deer caught in headlights. you saw sunghoon breathing heavily, “hey..” he smiled upon looking at you.

you didn’t smile back, as you were shocked. you never expected a situation like this, not in public.

so you ran. you ran away away from him like the freak you are.

sunghoon was confused, standing still for a few seconds before his body moved to his own accord. he started chase after you. he was right about his assumption,

you were avoiding him.

that drove him motivation to more to run after you.

sunghoon noticed that you would walk the other direction if he approached you or look away if spared a glance at you. he wanted to know why. he wanted to know what’s wrong even if he didn’t do anything.

you didn’t know why your tears started falling after you made eye contact with sunghoon. your past emotions were resurfacing and you didn’t want to see sunghoon witness your pathetic side.

you wanted to run away and hide from sunghoon.

you didn’t know where you were going.

your legs soon gave up and you ended up in the school’s backyard. you were by yourself which was a good thing because no one will have to see you cry.

you were shivering like crazy because yeah, you just ran away towards outside when it’s snowing and you have nothing but a skirt (your school had heaters so you don’t feel cold once you enter) and a cardigan.

so smart y/n…

you were panting like crazy as if you ran 8 miles. you placed a hand on the wall to catch your breath.

“y/n..” a voice trailed behind you, also panting.

fucking park, did you follow me?

you turned around to see sunghoon with his messy hair and his messed up uniform. you noticed that he had a messy collar from running. you know you can’t run away from this situation.

“why..” you muttered at him with glossy eyes. you were undoubtedly confused as to why he followed you.

sunghoon slowly walked towards you and you noticed that he was holding his long coat in his arms. you looked back at him with hurt visible on his expression.

“why are you avoiding me?”

you were at a loss of words at the sudden confrontation. your heart was beating like crazy and you curse at yourself as to why you can’t form a single sentence. geez you might believe that sunghoon probably hates you.

“um..” come on y/n think!

sunghoon was staring at you, expecting a response but as he saw you shivering like a dog, he approached to you with his coat. he stood in front of you which didn’t help yourself form words.

he wrapped it around your body, sending electric shocks in your body from his fingers touching your shoulders. you slowly looked up at sunghoon as he made sure to cover every inch of your body with his coat, even if it’s touching the floor.

“whatever i did,” sunghoon was fixing the collar as you kept staring at him with a sad smile. “i’m sorry.” he finally looked at you. your eyes started to swell up with tears like a crybaby.

you looked down so sunghoon wouldn’t see your tears falling. “you don’t understand,” you whispered. “you hate people like me.” you swore that your voice cracked.

sunghoon tilted his head at that assumption. “who told you that?” he tried lowering his head to look at you. “i would never hate you.” he softly said, hands slowly placed onto your shoulders, gently massaging them to ease you.

“whoever said that is a bitch.” you chuckled at sunghoon’s words. how ironic.

“i guess you’re a bitch.” you looked up to him with a slight, amused smile. his eyebrows quirked at your words. you looked at him and noticed the snowflakes on his hair. you wanted to remove them but you held back.

“what do you mean? have i said anything?” you can hear the genuineness in his tone. you can’t be mad at him forever, it’s not even his fault.

“those love letters,” you decided to just spill it out. “do you why they’re gone? why you’re not receiving them?” you didn’t expect a response. “because they were from me sunghoon. i wrote the letters to you.”

now it was sunghoon’s turn to be frozen. his hands stopped massaging you, his lips puffed out air in shock, and his eyes are slightly wide. you couldn’t handle his stare so you sniffled, looking down.

you expected a disgusted look from sunghoon and let him reject you. what you didn’t expect is that, it didn’t happen. your imagination became false when you felt his lips onto yours.

you felt like time stopped. your eyes were wide in shock and your body became still. you felt sunghoon’s fingers slowly reach your waist, digging into them to be closer to you.

his eyes were close and his lips were slowly moving, hesitant to continue. your eyes were slowly closing as you realized that sunghoon is indeed kissing you.

you can hear your rapid heartbeat echoing in your head and you stopped crying. you can imagine yourself a blushing mess and your thoughts are all over the place.

the park sunghoon is kissing me.

sunghoon let go (unfortunately) and looked at you while you were processing at what happened. sunghoon saw your cheeks becoming more red but didn’t comment about it. he instead, fixed your hair strands from your face and put them behind your ear. he noticed a snowflake falling onto your nose. he wanted to kiss it but he controlled himself.

“i’m sorry. i didn’t know it were yours.” sunghoon’s hand slowly reached to the side of your face, his thumb staying at your tear stained cheek as he gently rubbed your skin. you leaned towards his soft touch. “fuck y/n i really am sorry.” he apologized once again, feeling utterly terrible.

“i only said that because i like you. i only said that bullshit because i’m in love with you, not anyone else. i didn’t want anyone else but you.” you were at a loss of words.

“i like the way you help others before yourself, how passionate you look like talking about the things you like, how you look so focused on the classes i don’t even like, the cookies you baked for the class, i liked them. i liked every bite of them. i like your eyes, your hair, your voice-” your eyes dilated at the sudden confession sunghoon is making about you as he starts looking at the ground because he can’t look at you in the eyes when he’s confessing his love for you.

“shit i-i didn’t know it was yours, i didn’t mean to hurt you last week-“ sunghoon was rambling whatever what was coming on top of his head. he wanted to ramble to show how regretful he is.

“hey,” you softly spoke, catching sunghoon’s attention. he looked at you with sadness and disappointment, especially in himself. he doesn’t deserve a girl like you. you just smiled at him as he was wondering why you aren’t punching him in the face.

well, you did call him a bitch…

“you didn’t know it was from me, it’s only natural to react like that. i became an idiot and didn’t talk to you about the letters, i was just a coward because i was scared to be rejected by you.” you chuckled at yourself, shivering at the cold despite being covered by sunghoon’s coat.

sunghoon noticed and pulled the coat tighter on you. he even buttoned you up so the snow won’t touch your clothes. you can’t help but feel warm on the inside. “yeah an idiot for running without a jacket.” he replied, pouting at your stubbornness.

“i’m assuming that you threw them away?” you asked sunghoon as he guilty looked away. you weren’t mad at him, for he didn’t know. “i’ll start writing them again.” you said confidently. you didn’t know where your boldness was coming from.

sunghoon looked at you with sparks on his eyes. “but on one condition.” you suddenly said, using your index finger.

“mhm go on i’m listening.” sunghoon stared at you with a loving gaze and his hands wrapped around your waist and you suddenly can’t speak.

is this his way of flirting?

abruptly, you stood on your tippy toes and pecked his lips. sunghoon was caught off guard when he felt your lips on him. you looked at him innocently when his lips were ajar. you smiled cheekily at him.

“shit y/n,” he pressed his chest with his palm. “you can’t do stuff like that.” he pouted and you can’t help but giggle at the sight you’re seeing.

“like what?”

sunghoon leaned down towards you. “two can play that game.” you saw sunghoon smirked as he whispered to you, feeling his warm breath onto your skin.

you were about to ask him what he meant but he beat you to it when both of his hands cupped your face, making your cheeks squished. he smiled at the sight before kissing you once again and the warm feeling inside of you happens once again. both of you felt it.

the feeling, it felt so right. your lips felt perfect onto his. you smiled against the kiss and sunghoon felt it. he smiled into the kiss as well. he tilted his head to the side, kissing you deeper. you couldn’t breathe both literally and figuratively.

both of you stopped, panting for air. both of you leaned away but sunghoon still cupped your cheeks because he wanted to be close to you. both of you were a blushing mess but kept quiet about it as you kept smiling towards each other, never wanting this to end. you both leaned your foreheads together, being silent but staring into each other’s eyes.

“what the fuck.”

sunghoon turned around and saw jake. you squinted your eyes from afar and saw yunjin staring. the two of them stared at the both of you with a stunned expression.

can’t wait to explain this one.

thank you for reading ! <3

@yizhoutv

#enha imagines #enha smau #enha scenarios #enhypen angst #enha x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen drabbles #park sunghoon angst #enhypen x reader #sunghoon x y/n #sunghoon oneshot #sunghoon fluff #park sunghoon fluff #enhypen fluff #sunghoon angst #enhypen x female reader #enha angst #enha fluff #enha sunghoon

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haknom · 1 month

Text

THIS MUST BE MY DREAM — YANG JUNGWON

∿ 📋 SCORE SHEETS ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Jungwon was living his best life at Earl View Academy. He was scoring the highest marks, dominating every exam, and ranking the top one out of every student. See, he was living his best life at Earl View Academy before you came along, destroying his reputation because of your similar level in academics. It had to be a dream, there was no way someone could compete with him. With that said, he immediately renamed you as the new student to his one and only arch nemesis.

∿ TOP RANKS ✂️ academic-rival!jungwon x fem!reader (ft. jungwon from enhypen, baekseung from epex, and minji from newjeans)

∿ EXAM REVIEW ⟡ insp by doctor slump, long fic, academic rivals to lovers, rivals to lovers, highschool au, nerds to lovers, fluff, crack, and angst.

∿ 📔 STUDY NOTES ୨ৎ swearing, bickering, mentions of pills (painkillers), skipping meals, fainting, crying, being sick, and mental health issues, lmk if i missed anything.

∿ NUMBER OF EXAM QUESTIONS 🎓 14980 words

∿ FEEDBACK . . . and with that said it’s finally done!!!!! took me two months cs i took so many breaks …. happy belated jungwon day? LMFAO… and tysm to @soov for proofreading all the way !!! love u rei <33

∿ STUDY PLAYLIST 🎶 click here!

RANK ONE.

In Earl View Academy, everyone wanted to live Jungwon’s life. He was a son everyone wanted—not his words—and that made him feel good about himself. Even if he was quite the goofball, he still aced all his assignments while having fun.

His life was perfect.

“Jungwon!” His friend, Baekseung called, gaining his attention almost immediately. The boy looked over at his brown-haired friend with a smile, pausing the movements of his pencil gliding against his notebook.

“Hm?” He hummed, waiting for his friend to continue talking. Baekseung took a seat on the window sill beside Jungwon as Minji walked into the classroom.

“Did you see the banner they hung up? It has something to do with University, I believe.” He said as Minji walked towards them.

“Here.” She held out her phone, showing the boys a picture of the banner. It showcased a brief description of what to expect when applying to the University of Seoul and the date of submission—February 9th of 2024.

Jungwon’s birthday.

It was perfect timing, almost as if it was destined to be. His reputation at school and his relationship with his teachers would easily help him get accepted, right?

“The acceptance rate is 40%, which isn’t all bad, but many people apply, so…” Minji explained, turning off her phone, and shoving it into her back pocket. Jungwon tapped his pencil against his chin to a random, yet consistent rhythm in his head.

Jungwon’s friends always enabled his confidence. He was aware of his smartness, but they made it seem bigger than it really was.

“Although a lot of people apply, I’m sure you’ll get accepted. Your application will catch their eyes immediately, trust me.”

Jungwon bit back a smile at Baekseung’s words, sending him an amused nod instead.

“I’m sure it will.” He replied, returning his focus to his notes. Before his friends appeared, he was working on a few equations, to make sure they stuck with him for their test.

It was his way of studying; learn the materials in class and study them like his life depended upon it.

It worked like a charm every time.

“I don’t get how you understand these things.” Baekseung said while peeking over at his work. Jungwon smiled, letting out a chuckle.

He never did, it wasn’t anything new.

“See, you start with your values, then you write out your formula and substitute your variables for your numbers—”

“Enough! You lost me at the word ‘values.’” He exclaimed, causing both Jungwon and Minji to laugh.

“Hey, when you get accepted into the University of Seoul, don’t forget me.” Baekseung pleaded and leaned in with his hands desperately clasped together.

“I won’t, I won’t.”

Jungwon dropped his pencil, letting it lay flat on his notebook, and placed his hands on top of Baekseung’s.

“You have nothing to worry about.” He said, playing along with Baekseung’s act.

“I don’t get how I was pulled into this trio,” Minji said, cringing at the sight before her.

“Yeah, me neither.” Baekseung smiled at Jungwon, then, removed his hands from underneath his, and returned to his spot on the window sill.

“Oh well, here we are now. You love us, right?” Jungwon teased, the cringing expression never leaving Minji’s face.

The two boys stared at her in silence, waiting for her response. They wouldn’t let her off the hook if she didn’t open her mouth to say anything.

“Fine. I do.” She replied, earning bright smiles from her friends in return. She shook her head, a small smile making its way to her face.

It was impossible to avoid their faces. Even if they weren’t trying, they still managed to swoon her over with one look. They were unstoppable together.

Jungwon went back to studying as Minji and Baekseung playfully bickered over a past memory. It was a common occurrence, nothing new.

“I heard they’re selling Yakult in the cafeteria today!” A classmate said to their friend, gaining the three’s attention immediately.

They stopped what they were doing and looked at each other. They gave each other a look that only they could understand. There were no words shared, only their eyes held their words.

Soon after, Baekseung and Jungwon got up from their spots, following behind Minji who led them out of the classroom.

Yakult was their favourite thing ever. It was something all three of them could agree on—that they tasted delightful. Other than that, they all had different tastes in a way.

“Finally, they’re bringing it back!” Minji cheered, happier than ever. Baekseung, who stood in the middle, wrapped his arms around the two to pull them in closer.

“Do we have a plan?” He asked as Minji scoffed.

“Do we even need one? Just do whatever your mind tells you to.” She said and he nodded.

“Smart choice.”

The two conversed alone just as they did back in the classroom, except Jungwon wasn’t studying. He could’ve been included in their conversation right now, they weren’t excluding him at all.

He just didn’t pay attention. He didn’t even take note that they were talking because it all sounded muffled to him.

All he paid attention to was his homeroom teacher who walked down the hallways, lips moving as if he was talking to someone, but Jungwon didn’t know who.

Once he walked past, it was then revealed. A girl stood fairly behind his homeroom teacher, catching Jungwon’s attention.

He had no clue who she was, nor had he ever seen her face before, he ‘didn’t’ even care about what her name was, what time she arrived, what foods she liked, why she was wearing their school’s uniform, or what she had for breakfast.

All he cared about was how pretty she was, and fine, maybe what her name was too. Previously, if someone were to tell him about another being heaven-sent he wouldn’t understand them.

Now, he really does because she, she was heaven-sent to him at least.

“You okay?” Baekseung asked, looking over at Jungwon’s dazed figure. He shook Jungwon with the arm that rested over his shoulder, startling the poor boy.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m okay.”

Well, he hoped he was.

“Sweet, if I’m not wrong, lunch starts in about 3 minutes. Therefore, I believe we’ll be first…” Baekseung paused, his voice growing quieter at the sight before them.

“… In line.” His words were almost like a whisper. He was practically speechless at the line. At least 20 students were already waiting for their Yakult’s.

“Yeah, um, maybe we do need a plan,” Minji said, regretting her previous words. There was no way they’d get through a line like this one.

“Maybe? We 100% need a plan.” Baekseung said, his arms slipping off their shoulders.

“I’m sure we’ll be fine if we just wait. It can’t be that bad—Woah! Okay. Maybe it is bad.” Jungwon’s reassuring words were cut off by his shocked ones.

The line extended even further. How was that even possible?

“Hey, Min, what time is it?” Jungwon asked Minji as she checked her phone that previously sat in her back pocket.

“11:37 AM.” She replied, still flabbergasted at the number of students waiting for their Yakult’s.

“Do you think that will be enough time to visit the nearest convenience store and then come back?” Jungwon asked, desperate for an escape. He was still craving a Yakult, but they wouldn’t get one at this rate.

“It’s 27 (81 Fahrenheit) degrees Celsius outside…” Baekseung muttered, mentally sweating at the thought.

“We can get ice cream as well…” Jungwon whispered, scared that the line of students would overhear his words and run after them.

What if they were craving ice cream too? It wasn’t just the three of them who were feeling hot.

“Smart choice. Yeah, let’s do that instead.” Minji cautiously walked away from the entrance of the cafeteria, careful not to make a sound as the two boys did the same.

Yes, they were being very dramatic right now, but that line of students was very intimidating.

The three returned to class with leftovers of their ice creams, hoping nobody would ask them for at least one lick—it was disgusting to know that they were serious.

“Oh, Jungwon,” Minji said, remembering something from earlier. Jungwon hummed in response, his mouth full of ice cream.

“Did you even start your applications? Our midterms are soon, so I’m sure our guidance counsellors are going to approach you about it.”

“Are you worried for me? Or do you want to use my application as a template for yours?”

“I…” Minji stayed silent as Baekseung stifled a laugh. She sent him a glare, causing him to clear his throat. What was he laughing at? He was bound to do the same exact thing.

“Fine, you caught me. But hey, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do!” She exclaimed as Jungwon chuckled, getting up from his seat to throw away his ice cream wrapper.

“If you want, I can assist you—”

“Guys, guys!” A classmate shouted while running into the classroom shocked. Everyone’s heads turned to look at the said boy, more confused than ever. What lie was he about to spurt next?

“I just saw a pretty, pretty girl in the teacher’s office. I think she’s a new student.” He explained, however, nobody reacted.

“Are you lying to cover up the fact you were being scolded in the office?” Another classmate asked, causing laughs to erupt from other students in the room. Jungwon smiled to himself, that was a good one.

“I’m serious! I heard she might even be smarter than Jungwon!” The student exclaimed, causing Jungwon’s smile to falter and his pen to stop moving.

All eyes were focused on him as he slowly looked up at the shouting boy.

“Eh, I’m sure there’s no one who can compare to his level!” Baekseung said, patting Jungwon on his shoulder and smiling.

Jungwon was considered very smart for someone his age. It was a common compliment he received, but he didn’t hate it. It was quite ego-boosting.

“Everyone! Have a seat please.” Ms. Eun walked through the doors of their classroom, and another student walked in a few moments later.

“Obviously, I’m sure you’re aware of the new student joining our class today! Please make (Name) (Last Name) feel welcome in our classroom!” She explained as Jungwon’s eyes widened.

You were the same girl he saw in the hallways earlier. For some reason, his heart skipped a beat and his ears went numb at the sight of you.

“Oh, Jungwon. (Name) also got perfect on the entrance exam and was the top student at her old school. It must be great to meet someone at your level.” Ms. Eun smiled as all the emotions Jungwon had felt earlier plummeted.

So his classmate wasn’t lying. There was really someone who matched his skill of knowledge.

You looked over at the boy Ms. Eun referred to, noticing the way his expressions switched. At first glance, he was calm, but his eyes said otherwise.

They held an emotion you’ve never seen in anyone else’s—a desire to win. And, of course, you wouldn’t let him achieve that goal of his.

If someone were to win and maintain that top student rank, it would be you and you only.

You two hadn’t even spoken to one another, but within those 2 minutes of staring into each other’s eyes, it was obvious you both saw each other as a threat.

No matter what, only one of you can have that title.

RANK TWO.

“Jungwon, you haven’t looked up from your notebook this whole class,” Minji said, turning around in her seat to face him.

“Literally! There’s not even a single test coming up. What is there to be reviewed at this point?” Baekseung chimed in with a frown.

Yet, Jungwon didn’t look up, easily proving their point. It had been a week since you first arrived at Earl View Academy.

A week since Jungwon first felt threatened by your appearance. His life was perfect until you arrived.

His friends swore they hadn’t had one single hangout since then, but he said otherwise.

“You do know, you reviewing your notes while Minji and I converse without you, isn’t a hangout right?”

Jungwon’s pencil stopped moving for a brief moment, only to start up again at an even faster pace.

He couldn’t fall behind you.

He glanced over at your focused state, glaring in the process. You seemed to be at ease and he wasn’t.

That should’ve been him.

What happened to the perfect life that everyone wanted to live? The one where he could be happy and carefree even while passing all his classes with 100s?

“Don’t tell me you feel threatened—”

Jungwon’s pencil-led snapping silenced Baekseung’s voice almost immediately. He looked up at his friend, eyes darker than usual. There wasn’t his signature gleam that complimented his dimpled smile. He looked like he was ready to kill someone.

“Minji…” Baekseung called, signalling for her to take over the conversation. Sadly, that failed. She was just as scared as him.

“Hey, I could, uh… I could sharpen this for you!” She exclaimed, instead of continuing the same topic as before.

She took the pencil out of his hold, but Jungwon silently searched his pencil case for another one.

He had no time to waste. He was almost done with his notes.

Minji took her seat again, placing the boy’s broken pencil beside his notebook with a soft, yet dragged-out ‘okay.’

There would’ve been no point in going anyway.

“Dude, why don’t you let loose a bit?” A classmate said to their friend and began shaking their shoulders.

“I can’t! You know how my mom is about my grades right now…” He mumbled, embarrassed.

The boy from earlier grabbed his basketball that rolled under his desk and bounced it around him.

“I know you want to play basketball right now, but that’s okay. I’ll just play with Jungwon and his friends.” He informed his friend, turning to look at Jungwon who wasn’t paying attention.

“Yo, Jungwon! Catch this!” He shouted, alerting both of his friends, but him.

He passed the ball, expecting Jungwon—or even Baekseung—to catch the ball, however, there was nothing.

Instead, the loud thud of a ball hitting your head, echoed throughout the classroom. At least, that managed to catch Jungwon’s attention.

Your pen fell out of your hand, landing on the desk. Your ears began to ring as frustration—and a bit of lightheadedness—took over your system.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” The classmate said, making his way over to you with a worried look.

It was only your second day and you were making enemies.

Yet, you couldn’t bother to accept his apology. You looked at him with a facial expression that not even his mom had ever given him. He was terrified.

“Does this classroom look like a circus to you?” You asked as a throbbing pain slowly began to settle in your head.

“Are you so unskilled that you can’t even hold a basketball properly? Actually, are you so childish to the point where you aren’t aware of classroom rules?”

The atmosphere of the classroom vastly shifted. It was quite intense and unsettling.

His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water stunned by your words. He was speechless, how could he respond to that?

“Please leave me alone, you’d only be a distraction to my studies.” With that said, you returned to your work, acting as if the boy in front of you didn’t exist.

Jungwon’s brows furrowed at the sight, you were being so mean and for what?

The boy shamefully walked back to his seat as all his friends held in their laughs. He was already embarrassed enough, their laughs only adding to the fire.

Forget what Jungwon said about you being heaven-sent, the Devil must’ve sent you instead. He swore if he stared even longer, horns would grow on your head at any given moment.

So, he looked away and continued taking his notes.

“She seems mean,” Baekseung whispered to the two around him. Minji nodded in agreement, mentioning how she got chills from how you stared at the boy.

You proceeded to rub at your temples in an attempt to force away the throbbing migraine coming your way. You couldn’t take a break from studying.

You had to finish reviewing this material before anything at all—not even a meal break was allowed in your Book of Rules.

“What do you guys want to do for lunch?” Baekseung asked, gaining Jungwon and Minji’s attention again.

“I heard they’re going to play Basketball in the gym. You two should play as well!” Minji exclaimed, which only resulted in Jungwon’s head perking up at the sport.

“I’m down,” Jungwon said almost immediately. Baekseung and Minho’s eyebrows rose at his quick decision. It was almost as if he wasn’t studying his butt off while ignoring his two chattery friends a moment ago.

“Are you sure? I thought you had to revise your notes.” Baekseung verbalised his confusion as Jungwon began packing up his belongings.

“I already understand everything. A + B = X times 6–”

“Okay! Okay. No more Math, please.” Baekseung was quick to halt Jungwon’s equation with his index finger. He slowed down his pace when zipping up his backpack, taking in the words Baekseung uttered before.

A smile made its way to the boy’s face at the realisation of his friend's confusion. Baekseung definitely had no clue what they were learning in class.

“Hurry! I don’t want to be late for team decisions.” He exclaimed, hopping off of the desk he sat on.

Jungwon waved off his friend’s pestering and walked out of the classroom, the two trailing behind him.

You, on the other hand, struggled to focus on your work. The whole classroom was quiet and you were the only one left. Everyone had left for lunch, but you.

Yes, you loved quiet, however your migraine didn’t. The accompanied silence only made your migraine throb even more, a faint mic feedback noise to back it up.

Almost like you had a fever.

You placed your pencil down beside your notebook on your desk and stood up from your seat.

A quick stop at the nurse's office wouldn’t hurt anyone, right? It would benefit your studying session and get rid of your pain quite easily.

That was the only exception to your Book of Rules when it came to studying. Nothing else.

Jungwon shot the ball into the hoop, his hair and necktie flowing with his every movement. His uniform sleeves were rolled up, cuffed around the skin above his forearm, helping his gameplay style quite well.

Baekseung smiled at his friend, high-fiving him in the process.

“Nice one! They won’t beat us at this rate.” He said, looking at the scoreboard that read 17-9. Maybe he wasn't exaggerating it like every other time.

Jungwon grinned, his dimples showing faintly. It wasn’t an all-tooth grin, more toothless. His lips were pursed into a thin line and his cheekbones were nearing his under eyes. It was enough to show his appreciation for his friend’s compliment.

His forehead was becoming a slightly sweaty state, causing his previously parted bangs to clump together and loosely stick to the damped skin.

There were 8 more points until the match was done. They didn’t have much time to play 4 full quarters, so they made a bet; first to 25 wins.

Sadly, no rewards could have been won by the players, making this Basketball game more enjoyable than competitive.

Jungwon didn’t have enough time though, he would almost need to return to studying quite soon. Seriously, he couldn’t fall behind someone like you.

“Baek,” Jungwon whispered, hoping it was enough to gain his friend’s attention who stood across from him on the court, but it wasn’t enough at all.

“Baekseung!” Jungwon called while raising his voice a bit over his usual tone. The said boy looked over with widened eyes in shock.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jungwon said, fighting back a snicker at his friend’s startled state.

“Well, I have to go now. Tell Min I said bye too.” He said and walked past Baekseung, patting his shoulder as a way of saying goodbye.

As he walked out of the gymnasium doors, he shook his head, causing his hair strands to move around, some still sticking on his forehead.

He stretched his limbs and began revising the lesson from earlier.

The hallways were empty, leaving him with more of a quiet atmosphere to focus on his thoughts.

Jungwon’s lips moved, soft whispers of equations and problems leaving them. If there were other people here, they would give him the dirtiest looks right now. He most definitely looked psychotic.

Luckily, there wasn’t anyone. Yet.

The sound of the door sliding shut caught his attention and he looked up to see where it came from.

The nurse’s office was always a popular spot in their school, so it wasn't a shock that someone was leaving the room at this exact moment.

Surprisingly, it was a shock to him. He never thought you were the type to leave your desk ever.

Your brows furrowed at the sight before you.

A sight of disgust.

Yang Jungwon was the last person you wanted to see with your throbbing migraine. He was all sweaty, his hair glistened from the sweat droplets that stuck onto the strands, his necktie was loose, his uniform was dishevelled, and his face was a light shade of red due to the hotness of the gymnasium.

He looked disgusting.

Jungwon had no clue as to why you were glaring at him. He wasn’t the reason you ended up visiting the nurse’s office, so why were you giving him such a dirty look?

He should be the annoyed one at this exact moment. After all, you were the one who moved to Earl View Academy and ruined his ‘perfect’ life.

He looked back at you with a confused yet irritated expression on his features as the two of you stood in silence.

Jungwon’s eyes looked over your appearance, noticing how your hand was propped against your chest and holding an item he had seen before.

Your eyes followed his gaze and then widened at realisation. Out of reflex, you hid the painkillers behind your back, not wanting to come off as weak towards him.

You couldn’t let him see you as someone who wasn’t that much of a threat to his academic success.

In silence, you turned around, moving the pill bottle to your chest again, and made your way back to the classroom. For some reason, your movements aggravated Jungwon’s previous calm state.

God, he hated you so much. He couldn’t believe he once thought you were pretty—it would be a lie if he said he still didn’t. That didn’t matter though, you could be pretty and still have a snotty attitude.

That was a perfect description for you.

Although you thought you left Jungwon behind in front of the nurse’s office, to your dismay, you didn’t.

There he was, standing at the doorway of your once previous quiet study room—or in other words, your homeform classroom.

You rolled your eyes after noticing him at the doorway and looked back at your notes.

He ignored your response to his presence and took a seat at his desk near the window. Jungwon slipped his hand into his backpack, grabbing his pencil case and notebook in the process.

A tense silence followed the two of you as you flipped your pages in sync and continued writing down more things in sync.

You were pausing more than he was due to the pain in your head which only slowed down your movements even more. Yes, you planned on taking the painkillers, but not when he was around.

Still, you couldn’t hold back. You had to do it or else you wouldn’t be able to study one bit.

Although the painkillers mentioned eating a meal before intaking the pills, you refused to follow the instructions. You had no time to take a break and find something to fill your stomach, especially when you were already falling behind Jungwon’s studying pace.

You reached for your bottle of water off your desk and popped a pill in your mouth, scarfing down water right after.

Jungwon looked up at the sound of pills shaking in a bottle. It was obvious it came from you, you were the only other person in the classroom.

It seemed like the basketball to your head earlier really took a toll on you. He didn’t blame you though, it truly did sound like it hurt.

Except, that wasn’t the only thing he noticed. Even if he was in one place all lunch, it seemed like you didn’t leave your seat at all. It was kept the exact same like he last saw it before lunch time.

Luckily, the sound of your stomach growling was enough to answer his unsaid question as he watched your ears turn a shade of red.

As much as you tried to pretend that didn’t happen, you were tremendously embarrassed. Still, you couldn’t eat.

Not yet at least.

“You didn’t hear that.” You mumbled, hoping it was loud enough for Jungwon to catch. He hummed in response while eyeing his work, not paying much attention to your silly incident.

He knew how embarrassing it could have been, so it was best not to engage.

Thankfully, God was on your side, ringing the bell a few seconds after Jungwon had hummed.

Soon after, students began flooding into the classroom and heading to their seats in loud crowds.

Therefore, your quiet time with the last person you wanted to spend it with, had ended.

RANK THREE.

“Jungwon and (Name), please come up and answer the questions on the board.”

Great.

It was only 10:30 AM on a Wednesday, and yet you were already going head-to-head with your rival.

Jungwon confidently made his way to the chalkboard and picked up a piece of chalk from the ledge.

You, on the other hand, paused for a moment after getting up from your seat. You were suddenly feeling lightheaded, and that was never a good sign.

However, if you didn’t make it over fast enough, he would for sure beat you in a blink. And so, you did. You rushed over and picked up a chalk stick, then began writing.

It was a simple equation to you, but to everyone else who didn’t understand the lesson, it wasn’t. It was way more complex to them than how it really was.

Jungwon was already halfway through answering the question whilst you haven’t even started. You wrote the given values on the side to keep track of the numbers you would use.

Easy, right?

Not quite.

You couldn’t focus at all even if there were no distractions nor was it loud in your classroom.

The only thing you could hear was the harsh sounds of Jungwon pressing his chalk against the board after he reached a new step.

Your ears became sensitive to any sound, causing you to even take note of the rhythm his piece of chalk followed when gliding against the blackboard. It was irritating you and annoying.

As much as you wanted to stop him from writing, you couldn’t because it was impossible. Your hand wouldn’t move one bit. Your vision became blurry, eyes fluttering shut and opening in a pattern.

“I think I’m going to faint.” You whispered, your words falling deaf on all ears, aside from Jungwon’s.

He didn’t pay much attention to your sentence, brushing it off as a dumb remark about his handwriting or something.

Truthfully, his calligraphy wasn’t the best when it came to using chalk, so you wouldn’t be wrong if you were to say something mean about it. He would only end up agreeing in the end.

Everything stilled for a brief moment before you lost your feeling in your hands, dropping the piece of chalk you held, and falling against the hardwood floor right after.

Gasps were emitted from your classmates—ones you couldn’t even hear—as Jungwon stilled his movements at the loud thud which caused him to flinch slightly.

Jungwon looked down as he still pressed the chalk on the board, his eyes widening and blood draining from his face at the sight.

“(Name)?” Your teacher called, hurriedly making her way towards your unconscious figure. However, there was no response.

“Hey, Jungwon, you were on the track team last year, right?” Ms. Ling asked as he nodded, swallowing and hoping the nauseated feeling in his stomach would disappear.

Spoiler alert—it didn’t.

“Could you run her to the nurse’s office, please?” She asked, leaving the boy with no other choice but to say yes. If he were to say no, he would seem like a villain, and he couldn’t let that happen.

“Okay.” He mumbled and placed the chalk on the ledge before crouching down, slipping an arm under your legs, and wrapping one around your back for extra support.

To his surprise, you were awfully light. A little too light for an average person. It was quite concerning.

Jungwon shook his head, making all his thoughts disappear in the process. He had no time to waste, he had to get you to the nurse’s office quickly—his teacher’s words, not his.

He slid open the door with his foot, shocked that he even managed to succeed himself, and placed you on an unoccupied bed.

Mrs. Oh, the nurse, emerged from her office with a concerned look after noticing the rush Jungwon was in.

“What’s wrong?” She asked before seeing you who lied unconsciously on the bed.

“She fainted a few moments ago in class.” He explained while running a hand through his hair, followed by a sigh.

“Fainted?” The nurse asked and made her way to your still figure, reaching out to touch your pulse points.

“I don’t think it’s a fatal issue. Just hang around for a bit, I’ll run some short tests then you can tell your teacher why she fainted.” Mrs. Oh said as Jungwon nodded.

He could just ask for the notes from Minji after class.

A few moments later, Mrs. Oh returned with a clipboard in her hand and a concerned look on her face.

“Is it bad?” Jungwon asked, slightly worried about her response.

“Oh, no.” Mrs. Oh said, reassuring the boy, then opened her mouth to say something else.

“Thing is, she hasn’t eaten for the last two days.”

What?

RANK FOUR.

Jungwon walked down the hallways of the school, heading to the vending machine nearby. Mrs. Oh’s words replayed in his head many times. It had been a day since your visit to the nurse’s office, but he was still hooked on Mrs. Oh’s discovery.

He didn’t know why he cared that you hadn’t eaten for two days. That was your problem not his.

Yet, he couldn’t help but feel quite worried about your health. How the hell were you still at his level of academic achievements even if you weren’t eating to fuel your brain?

It was crazy. Not even he could survive an hour without a small snack to keep him going. So, how did you even manage to survive?

More of Mrs. Oh’s words flooded through Jungwon’s head, mainly focusing on the fact she put him in charge of making sure you were eating.

Was it not obvious you two hated each other? Well, maybe not since you were fast asleep, but to him it was.

What the hell was he supposed to do to monitor your food intake? Buy you snacks and drinks from the vending machines at their school?

Actually… that wasn’t such a bad idea. It could work for him, but would it work for you? Would you even accept his offers?

You were hard to work with in the first place. There was no way he would follow upon Mrs. Oh’s request. That was your problem and only yours. Not his.

Nevertheless, that didn’t explain the fact he was currently punching in the number two into the vending machine, expecting two granola bars to follow through the hole.

Of course, it wouldn’t be enough to fill him up this lunch, but he had no other choice. He was already exhausted enough from playing football outdoors, leaving him with no more energy to wait in line for food in the cafeteria.

He grabbed the granola bars and made his way to room 116—his home room.

He was excited for the peace and quiet he was about to experience. Nobody ever came to school this early. It was 7:30 AM after all.

School started at 8:20 AM.

If you were to show up at the bell, he could save the granola bar until lunch and give it to you when the room was empty.

Nobody could know that he was interacting with you, especially not after you two made it clear you wanted nothing to do with each other.

“Oh, hey, Jungwon! It’s been quite a bit since I saw you first thing in the morning.” A faculty member said, greeting the boy. He smiled at the teacher and nodded.

It wasn’t a lie. Jungwon always came early, yes, but he never went straight to class. He was either shooting hoops in the gym or doing his morning jog around the track in the field.

The September breeze blew the trees outside as Jungwon watched the leaves sway while walking to class. The windows in the hallways were wide, emitting a bright light into Earl View Academy.

It really suited the vibe he was going for.

But you didn’t.

Jungwon noticed your focused figure, his mood dropping immediately. He was glad you were okay, but not glad that you were in class.

He wanted alone time today, nothing else.

Jungwon put on a straight face, avoiding eye contact with you while walking to his seat. He swiftly placed the granola bar on your desk and moved away as if he didn’t.

You looked down at the granola bar, then to the boy who walked away in silence.

Before you could say anything, he was quick to silence your ‘irritating’ voice.

“Just eat it. Mrs. Oh is making me monitor your meals even if I don’t want to.”

He said without any other explanation. You looked back at the granola bar, hearing Jungwon sit down and begin opening his snack due to the loud rustling of the wrapper.

Instead of doing the same, you pushed the granola bar to the side and returned back to your studies. Once again, your ‘Book of Rules’ said no meals until you were done reviewing.

Jungwon opened his notebook, flipping through the filled pages to find an empty one and begin his studying. He was holding the granola bar in one hand and eating at the same time.

It wasn’t hard at all, which only confused him since you weren’t doing the same.

“Aren’t you going to eat it?” He asked, but you ignored him, staring into your notebook in silence.

The boy scoffed, looking out the window in disbelief. He doesn’t even know why Mrs. Oh trusted him with this ‘task’. He couldn’t say no though, he would have felt guilty to face her again.

Honestly, he was still shocked at the news from yesterday. What did she mean you didn’t eat for 2 days?

Was this an often routine of yours? Was that why you were so concerningly light when he carried you? You were always studying and never seemed like you took any breaks, which only left him wondering.

Seriously, did you ever eat?

“What?” You asked, stiffening and turning around to look at the bow. There was a look of annoyance present on your face, only causing Jungwon to stare back in confusion.

“What?” He questioned back. Why were you looking at him like that even after you blatantly ignored him a moment ago?

“Why is it your business if I ever eat or not?”

Hold on. Did Jungwon think aloud earlier? Was that why you were acting this way?

“I…” He said, fumbling over his words. Truly, how should he respond to that? You weren’t wrong about it not being his business to care—even if you didn’t say that.

He didn’t want to care if you did or not. Still, he couldn’t explain why he was so curious about it.

“Mrs. Oh told me in the nurse’s office that you fainted because your last meal was two days ago…” Jungwon began as your brows furrowed.

“So? Why should you care if that were to happen or not?” You asked.

Once again, you weren’t wrong.

“You’re telling me, you wouldn’t be a little bit concerned about someone who hadn’t eaten for 2 days?”

“If it was part of my business, sure, but if it’s not, then no.”

Jungwon pursed his lips, unsure of what to say next. He tried to think of it, but it ended up coming out on his own. He would definitely regret this later.

“Why?” He started.

“Why do you do that?”

You remained silent and so did he. There was an obvious tension in the air and the both of you felt it easily.

You averted your eyes away from his overpowering gaze, suddenly feeling all fragile due to his sudden question.

“Mind your own business.” You mumbled before turning around to face your desk again.

Normally, you’d return to studying immediately, but this time you were quiet as you stared at your notebook.

You always had answers for questions. Always. However, nobody had ever asked you a question like that, and for some reason, you couldn’t find an answer for it.

Jungwon sighed and shook his head. He didn’t blame you for not answering and getting all defensive instead. It was a question that could pry into anyone’s private life, and obviously, you two were nowhere near a basis like that.

“At least eat the granola bar. I don’t want Mrs. Oh on my ass about anything.” He said before picking up his pencil and writing on his plain notebook.

At the sound of his words, your gaze shifted to the pink wrapper on the granola, noticing how it was strawberry flavoured, one of your favourites.

Maybe you could reconsider eating the snack he got you even if it was going against your rules. It was obvious he wouldn’t leave you alone if you didn’t.

You unwrapped the granola bar, making sure to not crush the treat inside as the bell went so suddenly.

You were both shocked at how much time went past at such a fast pace as a certain thought crossed your mind.

It was time to start another school day.

RANK FIVE.

Ever since that day, Jungwon continuously dropped you off snacks in a discreet manner.

Although you never wanted to eat them, he made you. Your secret rule was slowly being forgotten because of his actions.

“Hey,” he called from his window seat, causing you to remove an earbud from your ear.

“Are you allergic to anything?”

“Why?”

Jungwon stared at you in silence. Were you really asking him that question?

“So I don’t get you anything that’ll kill you…” He said in a tone of disbelief, but you didn’t react.

“Why are you still doing this? Mrs. Oh must’ve forgotten about my visit by now. You can stop.”

You turned away and continued writing in your notebook, leaving Jungwon baffled.

He hated how you were never wrong. Mrs. Oh definitely forgot about your visit from a few weeks ago, but Jungwon couldn’t stop his habit of giving you snacks.

Why?

“You’re telling me you rather faint continuously?” Jungwon asked, halting the hand that went to put your earbud in your ear.

“That’s not a healthy habit. Seriously, you’re going to end up visiting the ER next.”

“As if that hasn’t happened before.” You mumbled and successfully put your earbud in your ear.

Jungwon’s face contorted in confusion, unsure of what you had said. It didn’t seem like the remark he expected, but he shrugged it off.

Whatever.

“Jungwon!” Baekseung exclaimed, running up to the boy and hugging him from behind.

Jungwon stumbled over his feet at the sudden embrace as Minji chuckled from behind the two.

“You’re acting like you haven’t seen him in a decade.” She said, crossing her arms once she reached them.

The hallway they stood in was empty—aside from the 3 being there.

Jungwon wasn’t even aware that he was in the hallway at the moment. His mind was elsewhere when he left the classroom.

Yes, he said he didn’t care about what you said, but he secretly did.

Did he hit a nerve or did he hit one of your soft spots? For the last few weeks, it was obvious there was a lot to you that nobody knew of, yet, Jungwon was close to finding them out.

He felt bad due to your reaction from earlier and a few days ago. Maybe he should really watch what he says from now on.

“What’s up? Do you have your head up in the clouds or something?” Baekseung asked, teasingly.

Jungwon shook out of his thoughts and looked at the boy.

“That was terrible. Never say that again.” He said, causing Baekseung to frown and Minji to laugh.

“Still, he’s right. What’s up with you lately?” Minji asked.

The three walked down the hallways, passing time before their next period started.

“What do you mean what’s up with me?” He asked, confused at their questions.

“You’re constantly spacing out today. Plus, you’re never running or playing basketball outside in the mornings either. I haven’t seen you for a bit every time I arrive at school.” Baekseung explained.

“Dude!” He exclaimed, tapping Jungwon’s shoulder to bring him back from his trance.

Jungwon looked over at Baekseung, startled from the harsh tap.

“What was that for?!” He exclaimed.

“You were doing it again. Seriously, what’s up with you?”

The three remained silent upon Baekseung’s question; Minji and Baekseung waited for Jungwon’s response while he thought of one.

What the hell was he supposed to say?

“Is it her?” Minji asked, chiming into Jungwon’s thoughts.

“Your rival.” She added after seeing Jungwon’s confused face.

He didn’t reply to her question, instead he stayed quieter than ever. Not a peep came out of his mouth. They were almost sure he stopped breathing too.

“So it is! I knew it. Pay up, Baekseung.” Minji said with a bright smile on her face while holding her hand out in front of Baekseung.

Baekseung frowned, glaring at Jungwon as he reached into his pocket for the 10 dollar bill he promised Minji. She looked at the buck, facing the light in case it was fake.

“It’s not fake!” He exclaimed as she chuckled.

“You never know.” Minji said and slipped the $10 into her pocket.

“Wait, you guys placed a bet on me?” Jungwon asked in disbelief.

“Well, yeah. I bet that you liked (Name) and Baekseung said you were just hooked on your university applications.” Minji said, leaning closer to Jungwon.

“He knows nothing about love.”

“I do!” Baekseung blurted, embarrassed at Minji’s remark. She looked over at her and shushed him with a finger on his lip.

“No, you don’t. Just accept that.”

Jungwon shook his head, still shocked at what his friends managed to do. Why would he even be hooked on his university applications if he was 100 percent sure he’d get accepted?

Plus, liking you was definitely out of his range. Wait, liking you?

“I don’t like her! What made you ever think that?!” He exclaimed, his hands flying up in defence.

“Yes. Yes, you do. Don’t fear it, Jungwon.”

Minji looked over at the boy with a teasing smile. Jungwon was a little terrified at the look Minji gave him with her finger still over Baekseung’s lips.

She truly seemed psychotic.

He began speed walking away from the two with hopes that he could escape the so-called assumptions. How would Minji know he liked you before he even knew himself?

Pfft, she was completely wrong.

Jungwon looked at the board, writing his last bits of notes with small diagrams to go along with them.

He was starving, but luckily, lunch was soon.

Speaking of lunch, he wondered what snack he should bring you today. You refused to tell him what you were allergic to, so he couldn’t just get you anything.

He looked up from his notebook, stealing a glance at your seat.

Well, he thought it was your seat, but instead, there was someone slouched over the desk instead.

He continued looking around for you, maybe you switched seats without him knowing?

No, that couldn’t be it. He saw you in the same seat this morning before classes. So, was it really you who was slouched over the desk?

That was surprising. You were always the one to be over the top when it came to education, yet, here you were knocked out mid-lesson.

“For homework, please complete pages 4 and 6. Enjoy your day everyone!” The teacher said while closing their lesson planner and leaving the classroom.

The bell sounded, signalling that lunch had begun while Baekseung and Minji took that as a chance to bother their friend, Jungwon.

“Hey!” Baekseung cheered, sitting down on the window sill like always.

Jungwon looked up at the boy with a smile as Minji turned around in her seat.

“Seems like you don’t have much of a competition anymore.” She said, silently hinting at the girl who was fast asleep—you.

Not even the bell woke you up. You must’ve had a rough night then.

Even if it had been 5 seconds since Minji spoke, Jungwon’s eyes never left you. He was genuinely concerned for your wellbeing.

“Baekseung, didn’t you say you wanted to go to the fast food restaurant nearby for lunch today?” Minji asked, looking up at the boy who stared back in confusion.

“What—”

Minji silenced him with a light slap on his leg, sending him a glare and mouthed the words ‘play along.’

“Oh, yeah! I’ve been craving a burger all day.” Baekseung blurted while nonchalantly rubbing on his leg and dragging out the word ‘all.’

“Jungwon, did you want anything from the fast food restaurant?” Minji asked and looked at him.

But he was still stuck in his trance.��

“We’ll get him fries.” She whispered to the boy on the window sill. The two left as quietly as they could, leaving you and Jungwon alone in the classroom.

He observed your silent state, watching how your back raised softly as you breathed. The sunlight from the windows shined on your face, making your eyelashes more visible than others.

You looked so peaceful and so relaxed. It was the first time he had ever seen you this calm and not stuffing your head in your notebooks, rubbing at your temples in a stressful way, harshly sighing and placing your pencil down when you were feeling tired or didn’t understand the formula. It was a great sight.

Jungwon was so focused on you that he didn't notice the smile on his face.

He was smiling because of his arch nemesis. Well, could he even call you his arch nemesis if he cared about you so much?

Probably not.

The vending machine beeped as the four items hit the bottom of it. Jungwon reached down to grab the items and made his way back to class.

Was he out of his mind for still getting you snacks? Possibly. But he couldn’t stop himself, it became a habit of his.

At least you never wasted the snacks he got you. There was one point of the day where you would eat them casually, not even paying much attention to the item in your hold. It became a habit of yours too.

Eventually, the rule became forgotten, but only at school. It still affected you at home.

You woke up in a panic. The classroom you sat in was empty, just like your notebook. The one you significantly chose for the subject.

You looked around, eyes squinting at the bright light from the uncovered windows, taking in the fact nobody—not even Jungwon—was with you.

Great. You were so behind—something you hated.

You panicked, looking at the board to only be met with erase marks of today’s lesson. There was no way you could scavenge with something so little.

Out of habit, you looked down at your desk and rubbed at your temples with your fingers, more stressed out than ever.

You couldn’t fall behind nor could you fail. That was your worst nightmare. Did your parents care if you were to fail a class or fall behind? Not at all. They only cared about you and your health, yet you hated that.

Honestly, growing up, you tended to be naturally good at the things you did. Your parents were, of course, super proud of you, but you didn’t think it was enough.

You never thought anything was enough.

So, studying continuously, fainting continuously, and even starving yourself continuously became a natural routine of yours just to seek academic validation.

If you weren’t at the top of your class or your studies, you weren’t sure how your future would turn out. You would probably end up lower than ever.

No wonder you were so frustrated with yourself. How could you slack off, let alone fall asleep all class? That was so not like you.

You were very disappointed.

The feeling of a sudden coldness on your arm made you jolt. You looked up, wondering where it came from, only to notice the boy who stood before you, Yang Jungwon.

You both looked into each other’s eyes—for the first time, you weren’t glaring. Your vision was quite blurry because of the tears that threatened to fall while he could see you perfectly fine.

He nonchalantly placed the beverage on your desk followed by the poptart. He then made his way to his seat and sat down silently.

You stared at the two items on your desk, holding back your tears. There was nothing about the bottled coffee or the poptart that made you emotional, it was yourself and Jungwon.

You were jealous of him.

The more you attended Earl View Academy, the more you noticed how everyone adored the boy. Everyone, including staff members.

He made friends quite easily and got along with anyone possible.

However, you were the complete opposite. You had your own circle which consisted entirely of yourself and your studying materials, nothing else.

You rarely conversed with anyone, but when you did, it was always harsh. Things easily ticked you off, causing you to confront the so-called things pretty quickly.

Due to this, you were never envisioned as someone who was approachable. Even if you were on top of your studies and understood everything going on, not even many teachers took a liking to you.

It was rare to see one that did.

There were a few times where you tried to maintain certain friendships, but they all ended quite fast. Their reasonings were always the same—you never had time to hang out with them, but you always had time to study.

They eventually fell tired of you and left you behind to befriend someone else. They always regretted even trying something with you because it always turned out to be a ‘waste of their time.’

Jungwon placed his opened notebook on your desk so you could copy down the notes he took in class.

“The homework is page 4 and 6 today. If you don’t understand anything, I could explain it to you if you want.” He said before walking back to his seat.

He shouldn’t be this helpful to you. You two were ‘rivals’ after all—something you both silently yet mutually agreed on. Nevertheless, he couldn’t help himself. Even the sight of your tear filled eyes managed to make him feel a bit hurt.

He probably wasn’t even the cause of it, yet he felt like he was.

“How do you do it?” You asked, catching him off guard. He looked up from his phone and at the back of your head because you refused to face him in such a vulnerable state.

“Do what? Oh, the work? Hold on, let me—”

“Not that.” You said, interrupting him as he halted in his tracks.

“…Then what?” He asked hesitantly. He genuinely had no clue what you meant. Either Jungwon couldn’t read between the lines, or he was just too stupid.

“How do I be like you?”

RANK SIX.

Jungwon stood in silence, stunned at your sudden question. He was never asked such a thing from someone like you.

Children were always the one to ask him that exact question, which only left him with one possible answer every time.

“You’re already like me. Smart and strong.”

It was very cringey, but every child felt confident after hearing his words. Still, you were nowhere near a child, so how could he respond to your question?

“What do you mean?” Was all he could think of. He didn’t want you to seem weak or anything, so he kept it simple and short.

Maybe an elaboration would help him with an answer next time.

“You’re so… perfect. All staff members and students adore you, or even look up to you. You always balance your time, making enough space to hangout with your friends and study at the same time. You’re athletic, smart, most likely a great son, and your parents are probably so proud of you for maintaining the top student rank continuously.” You ranted, leaving him flattered and quite flustered but confused at the same time.

“Perfect?” He asked, genuinely curious about what made you think that.

“Yes, you’re so perfect. I’m jealous of you.” You added, finishing off your sentence while turning to face him.

“You’re jealous of me?”

Truly, in Jungwon’s eyes there was nothing about him to be jealous of. He had his own ups and downs, but managed to keep his composure around his friends and many others.

“Honestly, (Name), you’re fine the way you are. Yes, you have some unhealthy habits, but that doesn’t mean they can’t change.” Jungwon said while walking towards the seat in front of you.

“I wouldn’t say I’m perfect either. Of course, I’m going to sound a bit cringey, but all of us have things we don’t show. Like, I could’ve cried on my way to class.”

“Did you?”

“Did I do what?” Jungwon asked while taking a seat.

“Oh. No, that was just an example. I would never cry where people could see or hear.”

His eyes slightly widened as he raised his hands up in defence.

“I didn’t mean you shouldn’t! Do whatever you feel comfortable with.” He said, hoping he didn’t offend you.

You used your sleeves to wipe away the few tears that managed to fall, then looked at the boy in front of you.

“I don’t know why I’m about to tell you this, but I really need to get it off my chest.”

“Go on,” Jungwon said in a soft voice.

Although he waited for you to speak, you hesitated. Could you even trust him? You two started off as rivals, and still were rivals, but didn’t show it as much.

Whatever, speaking your mind wouldn’t hurt.

“Honestly, it’s not that I need to be on top of my work for my parents to adore me, they do. They very much do and show it every day, but it’s me who thinks it is not enough.” You said.

“I believe if I’m distracted, I won’t be able to achieve my academic goals to the fullest, you know?”

Jungwon nodded even if he didn’t get what you meant. He understood achieving your academic goals, but not to the point where he couldn’t do so if he were distracted.

“I mean, yeah, but considering eating meals or taking breaks as a distraction isn’t good for your mental health—or your health in general,” Jungwon explained as your eyes narrowed.

“Are you scolding me right now?”

“Quite literally.”

You rolled your eyes at Jungwon’s words, waving them off as if they meant nothing.

“Pretend this didn’t happen. Tell anyone, and I’ll make sure your life in Earl View Academy is almost unbearable.” You threatened, sending daggers at the boy.

“How so?” He asked, curious as to what tricks you could pull.

“I’ll beat you on every test, I’ll beat you on the final exam, and even make sure you don’t get accepted into University of Seoul.”

“Okay… However, in return, you have to at the very least tell me what you’re allergic to.” Jungwon said with pleading eyes.

You were shocked that was all he wanted in return. He really wanted to know what you were allergic to, but why? What good would that bring him if he knew what you could and couldn’t eat?

“Why are you so curious about that?”

“Dude, you really want me to end up killing you?” His words sounded like he was joking, but he wasn’t.

“No… I could just eat what I know I can and what I know I can’t.”

Jungwon continued to stare at you, waiting for you to give him the actual answer he wanted. You sighed and gave into his silent begs.

“There’s nothing.”

He remained quiet, his head tilting like a lost cat.

“There’s nothing that I’m allergic to. I’ll eat anything.” You informed the boy as he held back a smile.

“Perfect.” He whispered before grabbing the notebook he gave you earlier.

“What do you mean by perfect?” You asked, causing Jungwon to glance at you with a slight smile on his lips.

“You’ll see.”

RANK SEVEN.

To be honest, yesterday you went home wondering what Jungwon was hinting at.

He pretended as if he had never brought up anything and proceeded to teach you today’s materials. It was annoying.

Yes, you wanted to know badly, but begging wouldn’t even get him to tell you anything.

You adjusted your name tag while looking in the mirror, wondering what else you should fix up.

There was 5 minutes before you had to leave for school. Five minutes before you would get to see Jungwon.

You had no clue why you were a bit excited to see him. Usually, you never were. It was weird.

Part of you was glad he listened to what you had to say yesterday, it felt nice to get it off your chest. However, the other part of you felt ecstatic and let your heart thump even at the thought of seeing the boy.

What happened to the part of you that deeply hated him?

You couldn’t start liking Jungwon. At least, not when there was a possibility that he still hated you or saw you like his competition.

Right?

Jungwon stretched his limbs before reaching down to tie his laces. It had been a while since he ran around the track in the morning. He wanted to see if he still had it in him.

He couldn’t let his stamina fall because of his so-called continuous studying habits. It was also a great way to get his mind off of things, for example, you.

After yesterday’s conversation, for some reason he felt terrible about what you said. Was it his fault? No. But obviously, there was a time and place where he was in the same boat as you.

Trust him, it wasn’t the best.

This morning, he woke up extra earlier than usual because he had a lot to do—cook. He hand picked a recipe he believed you both would enjoy, and cooked all morning so it was nice and fresh by lunch.

It was way better than constantly getting snacks from the vending machine. Now, you could actually gain nutrients while eating.

He was very excited.

But why? Why was he excited to share a meal with you? There wasn’t anything going on between, aside from your quiet studying times halfway through lunch, the conversation from yesterday, and the times you two have been paired up or went head-to-head in class.

Other than that, what was there to really be excited about?

Jungwon slowed down his pace, then leaned over while placing his hands on his knees to catch his breath.

Or was he just excited to see you? What was the meaning of all this?

Were you the reason his heart raced as if he did his morning runs whenever he was in class? Were you the reason he was always planning what he wanted to buy the two of you on his way to school? He rarely ever did that when you didn’t attend Earl View Academy.

So, were you really the reason?

You took a seat at your desk, pulling out your studying equipment—a normal routine of yours. You always arrived at the same time, 7:30 AM, with Jungwon arriving a little after.

Shockingly, even with 5 minutes passing, he didn’t appear. That was odd, he was always on time.

You shook your head, brushing off the fact he hadn’t arrived yet. The things he taught you yesterday were the only materials you had to review this morning.

You couldn’t fall behind so easily.

When you went home, you decided to take a break. A was a rare sight since you were always studying all night and all morning, nobody could stop you.

But for some reason, Jungwon was able to change part of your ‘unhealthy’ studying habits. At your old school, it was impossible for that to happen. Not even your short-term friendships changed anything.

It was the same old ‘Book of Rules’ you followed with no updates.

The door slid open, showcasing an exhausted Jungwon. He walked over to the seat in front of you and placed the two snacks in an empty spot on your desk then took a seat.

It wasn’t at his actual desk, instead, it was the one in front of you.

“Why do you seem so tired?” You asked, noticing his droopy eyes.

“I ran around the track today. It’s been a while since I’ve done it, so I guess I pushed my limits.” He explained while yawning. He stretched his arms before examining your desk; there was a partially empty space at the edge of your desk.

It looked like it could fit most of his arms and head.

“Can I?” He questioned while gesturing at the spot from earlier. You nodded, not giving him any other reaction.

Your heart was already racing from the ‘close’ proximity he provided. You had to keep it lowkey.

“Thanks. Wake me up a few minutes before the bell.” He said and dozed off to dreamland.

The classroom fell silent, the only thing being heard was the rustling leaves from the wind that travelled through the sky, your pencil gliding on the piece of paper you wrote on, sounding like music to Jungwon’s ears.

It was a relaxing sound. Not even close to irritating.

There were moments where you snuck in a few glances, noticing the way his face looked peaceful and less irritating than when he was wide awake. His breathing was at a usual pace as his back rose and fell at his command.

He was quite the pretty sleeper.

The formula of your work suddenly started to not make any sense. You searched the article you were looking at, realisation only hitting you a bit after.

You were working on your English, not Math. No wonder your formulas weren’t making any sense. Clearly, with how close Jungwon was to you, it was obvious you couldn’t think straight.

How often did someone mix up English work with Mathematics? It was never that often, and yet, you still managed to make the mistake.

You picked up your highlighter, forgetting about the embarrassing situation from earlier, and began highlighting simple concepts that you would need to remember when answering the questions.

Without you knowing, 30 minutes of silence passed between the two of you. You were surprised he didn’t wake up from the sound of your beating heart, because to you, it was quite loud.

You hesitated on waking up the boy in front of you. He was sound asleep. What if he woke up cranky?

Still, he requested for you to wake him up a few minutes before the bell. He wouldn’t be mad if you did so, right?

You softly placed your hand on his shoulder and gently shook him at a slow pace. There wasn’t much momentum, however, it was still enough to wake him up.

His eyes slowly opened, eyeing the area he sat in.

He could barely see, eyes still blurred with his sleepiness. Jungwon blinked a few times before looking in front of him, spotting your shocked figure.

“Morning.” He mumbled, his words cutting short because of a yawn. He stretched his arms before looking over at the clock.

It was only 8:20 AM. It always shocked you how students weren’t filling up the classroom around this time. They always arrived at least 5 minutes before the bell. Even if it was shocking, it was quite satisfying how everyone was still on time.

“What’re you working on?” Jungwon asked, slightly curious about the reason you held a highlighter.

“English,” you muttered. He hummed at your words and continued to inspect your desk.

“You didn’t eat?” He asked, pointing at the neatly kept snacks. It looked the same as when he first gave you them.

You shook your head. You completely forgot about the snacks. Instead, you were more focused on calming your racing heart, so it wouldn’t have woken him up.

“Eat. At least three pieces before the lesson starts.” He said. The snacks he brought the both of you were a small packet of animal crackers. One of Jungwon’s favourites as a child.

You paused for a moment, debating if you should follow through with his request. He was staring at you, once again, causing you to feel fragile under his gaze. There was no way he would stop if you didn’t eat.

You placed your highlighter down and grabbed one of the two packets. Hopefully, that would help his strong state.

Honestly, you couldn’t help but feel taken care of because of Jungwon’s acts. Your parents were amazing to you. There was no doubt about it. Still, with Jungwon, there was a new feeling you’ve never felt with anyone else.

At your old school, you wouldn’t even have a chance at something like this. If you fainted, there was only a tiny bit of shock from others. It happened very often because of your bad habits that it became so natural to those who studied and worked there.

But if you were to faint around Jungwon or anyone else in this school, they would be very worried. The nurse at Earl View Academy even instructed Jungwon to watch over your eating habits.

At first, you didn’t like the idea of having a so-called babysitter, but eventually it felt nice to know someone possibly cared about you. He started off as your number one threat, and became the person you looked forward to seeing most.

To him, you started off as someone he could never trust and his one and only arch nemesis, and became the person he watched over and enjoyed being around.

Well, look how the tables turned.

“Also,” Jungwon said, chiming into your thoughts. Your attention was then focused onto the boy who stood up from his previous seat with his animal crackers in hold.

“You’re doing great.” He said as the bell rang as if it were completing his sentence.

He sat in his assigned seat at the window while students began filling up the classroom. Maybe they were a little delayed today, but your heart for sure wasn’t.

You were concerned as to why Jungwon’s words had such an effect on your wellbeing, judging from how fast your heart rate was going.

You didn’t even know it was possible to experience such a rush of adrenaline. Your face felt warm as you recalled his words.

Was he perhaps referring to yesterday’s incident?

No matter what the reason was, you’ve never been told something like that. It was always about taking a break and slowing your pace. Even mentioning how you were trying too hard and needed to pay more attention to yourself.

But the words ‘you’re doing great’ were different. It felt like they were filling a void in your life that you didn’t even know existed.

Whatever it was, you were thankful.

Thankful for Jungwon.

Jungwon watched as the ball ricocheted off the rim of the net, sighing in disappointment.

“Gosh, straighten up.” Baekseung said and tossed the ball back to his friend.

The trio stood inside the empty gymnasium, shooting hoops for fun, until it became serious. Baekseung was quite literally concerned for Jungwon’s wellbeing.

He was missing every one of his shots.

“You do remember he did Track and not Basketball like you, Baek, right?” Minji asked while flipping through the pages of her book.

“I mean, yeah, but he’s never this bad.” Baekseung replied, emphasising his words.

“I’m literally right here.”

“Oh, my bad.”

Minji chuckled at the two, looking away at her book while placing a bookmark between the two pages she stopped on.

“Won, what’s on your mind?” She asked.

Great, here comes round two.

“I swear we didn’t put a bet on anything this time. Feel free to tell us anything.”

Jungwon sighed, letting himself loose. It was now or never. He needed to settle things, so he could peacefully continue along with his day.

So…

“How would you confirm your feelings for someone?”

RANK EIGHT.

Minji blinked her eyes in silence as Baekseung held the basketball in his hand with a dropped jaw.

Judging by their reactions, it was obvious they didn’t know what to say, leaving Jungwon feeling embarrassed.

“Nevermind, forget I said that.”

“No, no.” Minji said, shaking her head.

“We were just… stunned, that’s all.” She reassured Jungwon who’s ears turned a light shade of red out of embarrassment.

“Is this about a particular someone?” Minji questioned, slightly wanting it to be you.

She had been noticing the difference between Jungwon’s behaviour now and the first time you arrived. Nowadays, he was always looking at you with adoration in his eyes instead of an intense glare.

It was definitely different between you two.

“You know who it is, don’t you?” Jungwon asked, judging by her expression. It looked like she was holding off on saying something. She was terrible at hiding her expressions.

“Wait, I’m so confused,” Baekseung chimed in, dropping the basketball and making his way closer to the two.

“It’s (Name), right? The atmosphere between you two is so much different than before.”

Jungwon remained quiet upon Minji’s words. She wasn’t wrong, but she was very observant. Even Jungwon hadn’t noticed the change between you and him.

“Your silence is the only answer we need.” Baekseung said with a sly smile.

What? Who wouldn’t act the same way after finding out his best friend had a crush on someone?

“It is…” Jungwon mumbled.

“Okay. First question is… how do you feel when you’re near her?”

Oh.

Well, that could go a long way… There was at least a list of possible feelings, so where should he even start?

“Tingly. I feel tingly.” He said, recalling the moments he was with you.

To be honest, he was shocked you hadn’t realised how red the tip of his ears were when he fell asleep in front of you. It was almost an impossible process for him to sleep, but he managed.

“Sometimes, my ears become warm and my heart flutters at the sight of her smile or if I were to make her laugh…” He paused, thinking of more things to say.

“And—”

“Yeah, you definitely like her.” Baekseung interrupted with a shock yet disgusted look on his face.

“I do?” Jungwon asked, looking at the boy with wide eyes.

Baekseung nodded, causing him to look over at Minji who only did the same as Baekseung in return.

“Are you ever going to tell her?” Minji asked, opening up her book once again.

“I’d embarrass myself terribly. We’re still kinda rivals in some way. Wouldn’t it be weird if I were to suddenly confess my attraction to her?”

“Okay, Shakespeare, what the hell do you mean by attraction?” Baekseung asked as Minji chuckled.

“He means feelings, Baek.”

“Oh… That makes sense. I say do it, what is there to waste? You only live once.” He explained as Jungwon rolled his eyes.

It was a corny saying he had been told all his life, but they were never wrong. Things always turned out good for him if he at least tried them. Therefore, it wouldn’t hurt to profess his love for you, right?

“Jungwon, it’s 11:30, don’t you have to go now?” Minji questioned after checking the time on her phone.

“Ah, right. Thanks Min, thanks Baek.” He said before smiling at them and leaving.

To be honest, Jungwon was expecting a longer explanation to his feelings, but comparing these moments to a book, it was awfully obvious that he liked you. It must’ve flown past his head the first time.

You stared at the clock, awaiting Jungwon’s arrival. This was the first time you had caught yourself doing something like this. Usually, your head would be stuffed in your notebook right now, but after discovering these possible feelings for the boy you spend lunch with daily, things have changed.

Your habits must’ve been one of them.

There were moments where you glanced at the door, hoping that he would appear after every glance, but he didn’t.

“Sorry.” A voice emitted from the doorway, heavy panting followed through. Your head whipped over, noticing the boy you were waiting for all this time. He looked up from the floor, making straight eye contact with you.

He was subtly sweaty, making it obvious that he ran here. Yes, it was a disgusting look, but to you…

He looked disgustingly handsome. It was odd, very odd, that the look made your heartbeat race. You couldn’t deny it, you definitely liked Jungwon.

“You’re late.” You said in a teasing tone. You could care less if he was late or not, but it was fun to joke around with him.

“I’m aware.” Jungwon joked back while walking towards his seat.

“Are you hungry?” He asked while reaching into his backpack. You stayed silent, not sure how to answer that question.

“Be honest.” He said in a serious tone and grabbed the meal he cooked this morning.

“A little bit.” You replied as he took a seat in front of you. You eyed the containers he placed on the empty space, causing you to move your notebooks aside to create more.

He opened the containers one-by-one, leaving you stunned with every single meal. Once he was left with one container, he looked up to see your reaction, smiling at your childish look.

“Does it look good?”

His question brought you out of your trance, causing you to straighten up immediately.

“Yes. It looks great.” You said as Jungwon chuckled at your response. You observed the 3 containers, noticing the different aspects of each; one had greens while the others didn’t.

“Oh, I wasn’t sure if you liked greens, so I separated them just in case.” He explained while pointing at the container you stared at.

You nodded at his words and hummed in amusement. Maybe you were only a tad bit hungry before, but now, you were starving.

“You don’t have to wait for me, you can eat.” Jungwon said, gesturing at the meal in front of you two.

You looked at him once then down at the utensils, hesitantly reaching for a spoon. Jungwon picked up on this and grabbed your hand, flipping it over while grabbing the spoon that laid on the napkin. He then placed it into the palm of your hand and looked into your eyes.

“Don’t hesitate, it’s fine.” Jungwon said and flashed you a smile, his dimples catching your eyes immediately.

Well, maybe you weren’t hesitating on eating anymore, but you were definitely still hesitant about something…

Confessing your feelings to the boy before you.

Yeah, that could wait.

RANK NINE.

Two days ago, Jungwon had a talk with his two friends. He was reassured about his feelings for you, finalising them to a certain extent.

Today, he claimed he was ready to confess. He wouldn’t back away from doing so, and plus, there ‘wasn’t’ much time until graduation (it was 7 months away).

Of course, it was a lie. He had to make an excuse to be able to push himself to tell you how he really felt.

You, on the other hand, thought the same. But, you weren’t sure how you would approach him in a way where it wouldn’t be as awkward as you imagined.

Still, that would have to wait for the perfect time today. You couldn’t mess this up.

As your teacher spoke, your head became drowsy. Your notes seemed messy due to your eyesight blurring and nothing was comprehendible.

You shook your head, an attempt to regain your composure, but that didn’t work either.

“Okay, everyone. I’ll leave the rest of this period for individual work time.” Your teacher said even if there was only 5 minutes before lunch.

“Soccer today?” Baekseung asked Jungwon who wrote in his notebook.

He nodded at his friend’s request, causing the boy to smile. It had been a while since they went to play soccer and not basketball, so it would be quite fun to reminisce about the past.

The bell went, making 5 minutes feel like 30 seconds. To others it must’ve felt long, but to you, it felt short. You couldn’t focus on anything around you, not even the time. The throbbing headache that made its way into your system, as well as the nauseating feeling was all that occupied your mind.

Nothing else.

Not even the fact Jungwon was standing beside you right now.

“You alright?” He asked. You looked up at him, your head spinning at the movement. It was quiet in the classroom, hinting at the fact there was practically nobody left aside from the two of you.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Lies. You were far from feeling ‘fine’. However, you couldn’t let him worry as much as he did about your eating habits.

You managed to flash him a convincing smile as he did the same. The gentle pat on your head before leaving felt comforting knowing it was from Jungwon and no one else.

“I’ll be back.” He said as he walked out the classroom, leaving you alone in silence.

You weren’t able to tell if the heat that crept up your neck was from his subtle action, or the developing fever that made its way towards you. Honestly, you could care less. It wouldn’t stop you from studying anyway.

And, well, maybe preparing your confession for the said boy.

The mesh of the net ricocheted as the ball glided against the barrier. The goalie was on the floor, the outcome of his failed attempt at blocking the ball.

“It’s okay! That was a good try.” A teammate reassured while helping the male up on his feet.

Once the ball was thrown into play, Baekseung scanned the area, searching for an open target to send the ball to. Teamwork was all that mattered when playing sports, so, why not include everyone even if he could shoot the ball himself?

You looked out the window, noticing the view of the many boys who kicked around a soccer ball. It wasn’t the best view, but you were still able to see a few faces—Jungwon’s especially.

Most of you wanted to get a closer look. It would be nice to take a short break from studying, right? It couldn’t hurt your academics that much…

You rose from your seat, head spinning once again. It was unbearable, but you’ve experienced worse.

See, you’ve definitely experienced worse. So, why were you on the verge of passing out, once again?

You stood in front of the window sill Jungwon’s friend, Baekseung, would always sit on. Your grip tightened the ledge, losing balance in your legs. Your vision became even blurry than before as your mind became foggy.

Yeah, you were definitely about to knock out cold. There was no way you would manage to stay conscious.

A moment after coming to terms with the fact you were about to faint, your body hit the floor, leaving the space between two desks occupied.

Your eyes were slowly closing as the warmth of a hand was placed on your face. Ears ringing, making anything that person said incoherent.

It was a terrible feeling. Maybe you should’ve gone to the nurse’s office at the beginning of your fever.

Yeah… Maybe.

“It’s 11:30, I have to go.” Jungwon said after checking the time on his watch. He waved goodbye to those he played with on the field, then looked at the classroom window, a smile making its way to his face.

Now it was time for 30 minutes with you.

But where were you? He scanned the empty classroom, yet you were nowhere to be found. Your stuff wasn't there either.

You weren’t there.

He was confused. You never left your seat, no matter the reason. So, where could you have gone?

Jungwon had no clue where he was going, letting his feet take him wherever. Suddenly, he was in front of the nurse’s office. Not even he knew why he was here.

Without hesitation, he slid open the door, a wave of nostalgia hitting him. Except, you weren’t in his arms like before.

“Oh, Jungwon. What brings you here?” Mrs. Oh greets almost immediately. That was a great question.

What brought him here?

“I’m not sure.” Jungwon said, not knowing what else to say. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t know.

“What do you mean?” She questioned, confused. That was the first time she received an answer like his.

The boy stared at the nurse in silence. It was awkward for her, but not for him.

Seriously, why was he brought here?

“Is… Is (Name) here?” He asked. Part of him regretted letting his so-called question slip out while the other part hoped you were here.

Other than that, he wouldn’t have any other ideas about where you could possibly be right now.

“Oh, yes, she is. Were you looking for her?” Mrs. Oh questioned, a slight smile plastered on her face.

Jungwon nodded, not wanting to say anything else. He already embarrassed himself enough.

He followed the direction the nurse pointed in, heading to where you were supposedly lying down.

“Apparently, she fainted in class again. One of your classmates brought her over… Turns out she had a raging fever.”

So, he wasn’t hallucinating the pained expression you gave him at the start of lunch.

At the sounds of his footsteps, you turned around fast, pretending to be asleep.

“I saw you.” Jungwon said, pulling your curtains aside.

“Nice try.” He took a seat beside you as you bit your bottom lip, eyes squinting in defeat.

“Are you feeling better?”

You turned around at his words to face him. The damped cloth that rested on your forehead slowly slipped off, causing him to catch it.

“A little bit.” You said as he adjusted the cloth.

You weren’t lying about it being a little bit. At least you were now able to move.

“Did you take medication?”

You nodded, noticing the fact he was only going to continue asking questions about your wellbeing.

“I heard you fainted… Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, the worry finally sinking in.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I got up to look out the window, but I guess I overestimated my ability.” You said with a light laugh.

“Why would you get up to look out the window if you were already feeling unwell?” He asked with furrowed brows.

It was only common sense, you should’ve made your way to the nurse's office. Not somewhere to admire scenery.

“Are you lecturing me, again?” You asked, referring to the conversation in the classroom from a while ago.

“Yes. You need to take care of yourself more.”

“But if I said I was trying to watch you play soccer, then what?”

Jungwon felt his heart skip a beat.

Okay. Maybe you got him there.

“T-That doesn’t matter. Your health comes first.” He mentally cursed at himself for stuttering. Your words must’ve taken a toll on him.

“You’re boring.” You said before looking away from the boy.

To be honest, this would be the best time to confess, right?

Mrs. Oh had left the office a while ago, meaning it was just the two of you left alone.

When would Jungwon ever get another opportunity like this one?

“Listen,” he started, gaining your attention all over again. You look over at him, waiting for him to continue his sentence.

“I know grades are important, but your health is too. Please prioritise your health as well, okay?” Jungwon paused, hesitating with his next words.

It was now or never.

“I don't want to fall in love with a corpse. It’ll be better if it were just you.”

You stared at the boy, stunned. You couldn’t tell if your temperature was rising or you were flustered by his sudden confession.

An awkward silence followed through, as he felt his heart sink.

Did he just mess everything up?

“Anyways… have you drank anything yet?” Jungwon asked, switching the topic really fast.

“No…” You whispered.

He nodded his head, pursing his lips and patted his thighs.

“Okay. I’ll go get you something.” He said before rising up from his seat and leaving quite fast.

You felt bad. If it were a confession, you just left him hanging.

Jungwon pushed the buttons on the vending machine with pressure. He was embarrassed.

Very embarrassed.

He didn’t want to show himself in that room ever again. The atmosphere was definitely still the same as before—awkward and unbearable.

Maybe he shouldn’t have taken his friend's advice. He could’ve saved himself from experiencing this sort of regret.

The sound of the juice boxes falling from their designated spots caught Jungwon’s attention. He whined at the sound, not wanting to go back at all.

Still, he couldn’t keep you waiting.

His plan of pretending nothing happened was now set in motion. It wouldn’t be that hard to forget the previous interaction, right?

“I hope you like orange juice—”

“Was that a confession earlier or was I going crazy?”

So much for pretending nothing happened.

He stumbled in his tracks, he was nowhere near your bed yet.

“Was it?” You asked, quite literally pestering a response from him.

Jungwon mumbled something to himself. Something along the lines of hoping he doesn’t mess things up further.

“Yes, it was.” He said, a heavy sigh following through.

Although his sigh sounded stressed, yours sounded relieved.

“Oh, that’s good. I thought I was the only one.” You said, causing Jungwon to make his way to your bed even faster.

“What do you mean?” He asked, his hands carrying the juice boxes and a confused expression on his face.

“Is it not obvious?” You asked, but he remained still.

Clearly, it wasn’t.

You sighed, disappointed that he couldn’t read between the lines with that brain of his.

“I like you too, Jungwon.”

RANK TEN.

“It really happened?!” Baekseung exclaimed, shocked. Jungwon covered his mouth with a hand, not wanting the whole world to hear about yesterday’s interaction.

“Then what?” Minji asked.

“It’s a secret.” Jungwon said with a teasing smile. Minji rolled her eyes at his response. It definitely wasn’t what she wanted to hear.

The classroom door slid open, gaining his attention quickly. You walked into the classroom, holding your books to your chest.

A smile of adoration made its way to Jungwon’s face as you looked over at him, smiling.

Minji observed the interaction with curious eyes.

“What the hell? Never do that again, please.” Baekseung said, removing Jungwon’s hand from his mouth.

“Wait so… Are you guys, well, dating now?” Minji asked.

“Woah, no.” He said, raising his hands up in defence.

“So, you guys just confessed to each other and that was all?” She asked in a more hushed tone since you arrived.

Jungwon nodded.

Minji was about to say something else, but the bell rang, cutting her off before she could even start. The teacher walked in, addressing everyone to return to their seats.

You smiled to yourself and pulled out your phone to send the boy a text.

“Nice one.” It read with a smiley emoji.

Jungwon’s phone dinged, causing him to look at it. A smile made its way to his face as he read the message.

He was lying to his friends the whole time. Yes, that was bad to do, but it was the best way of keeping your official relationship with each other a secret.

They could know you two confessed to each other, but not that you were dating.

To be honest, Jungwon never saw this coming. He always thought you would be someone he hated because he never knew it was possible to meet somebody who was at his level.

He truly thought he was dreaming when he first saw you and learned about that information.

But right now, he was thankful he wasn’t and was thankful that you were someone who he fell in love with.

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