Thinking about how the players of Double Life immediately started subtly being more careful because of the soul bonds. Thinking about how even though this is a death game, even though the goal has always been to stay alive at all costs and take as little damage as possible, I heard so many variations on "I'm going to have to get used to taking care of you, too" from so many of them, followed by them taking much better care of themselves. Thinking about how out of their way they go not to take small amounts of mundane damage from falls and drowning because the harm feels different when it isn't just you suffering it. Just...thinking a lot about that.

6 please. Not exactly angst, missed the headings on first glance. Don't know if I can give ideas,

Thinking of eddie getting a baby (we got given a bag of flour, some classes got eggs, not sure if it was done in 80s America; they're given actual dolls now, they're bloody freaky) from sex ed class to "learn responsibility". Phoning THE babysitter in a panic saying he's lost the baby and forgetting to mention that it's not an actual baby.

ahhh i'm finally getting to this!! i'm so sorry it took me so long! Thank you for being patient and thank you for not making me write angst 🖤 6: "i lost the baby"

As Steve entered through the front door of his home, he could already hear the phone ringing itself off the hook.

He grumbled about not being able to even take his shoes off before he was able to field a crisis, but still rushed over to the phone. He wasn't interested in letting it ring until it stopped, he never trusted that it would be possible for whoever was on the other end of the line to call back if it was an emergency. More than a few telemarketers had been privy to his urgent answer than he cared to admit.

"Harrington's," he rushed into the phone before it had reached his ear.

"Oh, Stevie," Eddie Munson panted. "I lost the baby and I don't know what to do."

Steve froze. This was the first he'd heard of anything to do with a baby, who would trust Eddie with a baby? He could barely be trusted to keep track of his own head and that was attached to the rest of his body. Surely the entire town knew now that if they needed a young adult man to look after a baby, Steve was the first person they should check in with? He loved babies and compared to the children he had experience heading, they'd probably be a walk in the park.

His second thought was sheer panic. A lost baby wasn't good in any circumstance. A lost baby in Hawkins, Indiana where monsters came out to play, was the worst of the circumstances.

"Okay, stay where you are. I'm coming." He didn't wait to hear Eddie's grateful reply. But just before he could slam the phone back into place on the wall he realised something.

"Wait, Eddie! Where are you?"

"At the school."

Steve hung up, suddenly thankful he hadn't had the time to take his shoes off. He could get to the school in thirteen minutes in a rush, he thought he could do it in eleven but he'd never had the opportunity to try. Missing a bit of first period had never seemed worth the test.

He supposed there was no better time to find out if he was right than in an emergency.

Ten minutes and forty-seven seconds later, he swerved into the Hawkins High parking lot. Eddie was bouncing from foot to foot and twisting his hands together in front of him. He kept glancing back and forth between the school and Steve's car.

The beemer was parked across three bays and left unlocked as Steve ran across the parking lot to meet with Eddie.

"Oh my god, Stevie, I owe you one, I cannot fail this class. I promised Wayne I'd be fine going back to school and, you know, everything and he'd gonna be so pissed if I flunk another year and, you know he won't say anything, but he'll be upset and I can't disappoint him any more than I already have and I--"

"Eddie!" Steve interrupted, still panting heavily from his short run and the amount of adrenaline pumping through his body. "Start at the beginning."

Eddie nodded sheepishly. "Okay, yeah, I can do that."

Steve knew that getting worked up wouldn't help the baby. It would be okay for one more minute while Eddie explained and they could come up with a plan of where to start rather than going in blind. It would be fine.

"So I got given one of those flower-baby things for home-ec. It's worth like 60% of my grade to keep this 'kid' 'alive'," he threw up air quote signs with his fingers.

Steve felt his vision start to cloud red. He knew he wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, but he was sure Eddie said what he thought he said.

"A flour baby?" Steve echoed, interrupting Eddie's monologue.

Eddie furrowed his eyebrows together. "Yeah? You know? You get a bag of flour and you have to draw a face on it, and put a little blue or pink hat on it. Treat it like a real child."

Steve could feel something bubbling in his chest. Anger.

He socked Eddie on the arm.

"Ow!" He furiously rubbed his arm where Steve hit him. "What did you do that for?

"You idiot," Steve hissed. "I thought you'd lost a real baby."

Eddie blinked. Then, arm forgotten about, he doubled over, clutching his stomach to laugh.

"You thought I had a real baby?" He wheezed.

Steve only barely restrained himself from hitting him again. "What was I supposed to think? You sounded really panicked!"

Eddie waved his hands in front of himself as he gulped in air through his titters. "I'm gonna fail home-ec!"

"Why the hell are you taking home-ec anyway? You can't cook."

"But I can sew," Eddie countered.

Steve just glared.

"Thank you for coming to my fake baby's rescue, Stevie. We really appreciate it. You're a good mom."

Steve flushed red. "Why would I be the one carrying it in this equation?"

Eddie smirked, reaching out to take Steve's waist in his hands. "Baby, have you seen these hips? Perfect for poppin' a kid or two out."

Steve batted his hands away. "Shut up."

"I'm serious. I think with a bit of effort--"

Steve clamped both of his hands over Eddie's mouth. "Shut. Up."

He felt Eddie smile under his palms then flinched away as he licked

"You're disgusting," He grumbled, turning swiftly on his heel to start marching towards his car.

Eddie had to do a weird little jog to keep up with him. "Come on, baby, don't be like that."

"I'll see you later."

Eddie grabbed his bicep to stop him in his tracks and spun him to look at him. He grabbed Steve's face in both his hands.

Steve tried to look around to see if anyone could see them, but the parking lot was as deserted as it was when he first arrived.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry for panicking you and I'm sorry for laughing at you," Eddie said gently, holding Steve's face completely still. "Will you please help me look for the fake baby we have together? So I don't fail another year of high school and so we can do something more fun tonight. I'll do anything you want."

A smile spread slowly over Steve's face. Eddie narrowed his eyes warily.

"Anything I want?" Steve asked coyly.

Eddie nodded slowly, finally dropping his hands back down to his sides. "Anything."

"Okay, let's find this stupid thing."

"That's no way to talk about your child, Stevie."

Steve shoved him but secretly felt very fond that Eddie would even think to fake adopt a fake baby with him.

"Are you going to tell me what I'll be doing?"

Steve shook his head. He leaned close enough so he could whisper. "You're just going to have to find out later, Daddy."

The sound of Eddie's desperate groan followed him into the school.

Omg you know that trope where students are paired up and have to “parent” a fake baby/egg for a week for like home ec class?? If you paired up the ROs randomly, which pairs would pass and which would fail?

Lol, I love this ask!!! I'm torn between whether it should be a fake baby or an egg: the idea of a baby doll screaming and crying and generally wearing nerves thin is hilarious, but the fragility of an egg = even more disaster... I've also seen bags of flour! 😂

For added chaos, I input the ROs into a random pair generator for maximum effect, and I was laughing at the results, because of course Red and Blade would get paired up...

Group 1: Chase and Tallys

Tallys is responsible enough and powerful enough to keep Chase's absolute chaos at bay... if it were a baby doll, he would definitely try to steal it and take it for a joyride, claiming that he deserves custody of their child, too (he'd likely want to take dumb selfies with it in increasingly dangerous and hilarious places, like in the middle of a nightclub rave or in the middle of a lake or something)--but Tallys would likely outsmart him for the sake of the grade. They would most likely pass, though it would be a harrowing week for her trying to dodge Chase's antics, and she would hate him... so much by the end of it all!

However, if it were an egg, there would be a small chance that their bickering and wrestling for control of the "baby" would lead to it being dropped while Chase was trying to horse around... leading to Tallys breaking his egg (idk why I said that. I mean that she would kick his ass)

Group 2: Lavinet and Mimir

If an egg, they would most likely pass. Lavinet is pretty responsible (though she can be a bit absent-minded when it comes to doing things that she usually expects servants to do) and Mimir is uninvolved enough that things would be pretty smooth sailing. Lavinet would just keep the egg in her purse, basically?

If it was a baby--like one of those fake babies where you have to change its diaper or it cries randomly in the middle of the night--they would fail. Mimir would just ignore it, and Lavinet would get so stressed out and frazzled that she'd probably end up throwing the doll out a window or something like that, lol!

Group 3: Briony and Ayla

If an egg, they would 100% fail. Briony's unpredictable superstrength and slight clumsiness would lead her to misjudge her own grip and crush that thing in one hand like it was nothing. It'd be an omelette! And Ayla isn't exactly the gentlest soul around, either... that egg is definitely getting crushed, dropped, or accidentally smushed.

If it was a doll, they have a chance at passing. Ayla would get irritated by the incessant crying and would just be yelling and shaking the doll and shouting at it to shut the fuck up, and Briony would be frantically trying to bounce it while in tears in the middle of the night, like "why won't you stop crying?? 😭😭" They could scrape by if they managed to get their act together, but they would likely need help from a third party like Shery or Red in order to make it to the end of the experiment!

Group 4: Halek and Trouble

Egg? That thing is dead. No way. Halek is so irresponsible, and Trouble, bless his heart, would try, but if he doesn't have any help, there's just... no way. He's putting that egg in his pocket absent-mindedly for safe-keeping, and then he's going to forget about it and get into like a fistfight or an impromptu wrestling match or just get shoved into a wall, and then splat. He'd tried to replace it with a different egg, but they would get caught and fail.

Doll? Probably the same outcome, just it's more likely Trouble would lose his temper and give it to Dog to run off with once it started screaming. Halek would probably evaporate into mist at the first wail

Group 5: Shery and Riel

Riel would foist all of the work onto Shery, who would raise that baby (doll or egg) very capably and ably! Not only would they be great (if imbalanced in terms of workload) co-parents, but their baby would be the best taken-care-of baby in the entire class! They'd pass with flying colors! Even though people would tease them for embodying toxic traditional gender roles... like Riel being the absent father who just retreats to his study to read the paper and ignore the crying baby lol... but Shery wouldn't mind at all! She'd weirdly get attached to her fake baby 😅

Group 6: Red and Blade

In all likelihood, Blade would simply ignore Red and let him do everything for the sake of getting through what he considers to be a very stupid assignment, and they would have little to no interaction--in which case, they would pass! However, if they were forced into a scenario where they were forced to coparent in order to get the good grade (for example, living together or having to share equal amounts of time with the baby), they'd likely bicker and argue, and tempers would definitely fray... however, Blade is stubborn and competitive, and Red's a grade-seeking perfectionist, so they would probably get through the assignment passably enough! It's like a 70% chance of success, whether with egg or doll. However, that still leaves a 30% chance that one of them gets so annoyed with the other that they forget egg/doll somewhere and then only realize it like an hour later, leading them on a merry chase all over town before finding egg/doll somewhere horrible and then having a blow-out fight about it out of frustration... 😅

Thanks for your question!

For the headcanon thing: how about an AU where Michael and Alex are paired together for one of those parenthood assignments in health class where they have to babysit a sack of flour or an egg or something?

I can’t tell you how much I LOVE this idea - thank you!

1. This is Roswell in 2008, so the home ec teacher tries to assign boy/girl pairs to take care of a flour sack, but there’s an odd number of boys so Alex and Michael get put together, which predictably leads to a bunch of homophobic teasing about how they got pregnant, who’s the woman, etc.

2. Why the hell was super genius Michael Guerin taking home ec, anyway? He figured it would be an easy A... and a chance to get to have access to a kitchen to make food that he didn’t have to pay for himself.

3. Alex is surprised by how... invested Michael is in the bag of flour. Like, he’s legitimately careful with it, tender even, and it makes Alex... feel things.

4. It’s Michael’s night to watch “Germ” (that’s what they’ve named the flour sack, as in “wheat germ”), but he tries to get Alex to watch the sack instead, citing the rainy forecast. Alex doesn’t get it - why would that matter? That’s when Michael discloses that he’s living out of his truck, and he doesn’t want Germ to literally disintegrate. Alex is like, there’s no way I’m letting my child’s father live in a truck, and he invites him to stay in the shed out back.

5. The guys get closer, spending a bunch of time together caring for Germ, talking about themselves and the future, and deeper topics too, like their fears about actually being fathers and having children, given their shitty upbringings. They even play guitar for Germ, like he’s a real baby.

6. All is going well until Flint’s home on leave over the weekend. He makes fun of Alex for taking home ec and taking the assignment so seriously, and he ends up grabbing the flour sack from Alex and punting it across the yard. Alex is so upset, and Alex and Michael go on a late night grocery store run to get a new sack of flour so they don’t fail the assignment. Michael tells Alex that he deserves better than his family. Alex tells Michael that he deserves better than his situation, too. They end up kissing in Michael’s truck and agree to help each other find a way out of Roswell upon graduation.

7. Story ends with a quick cut to their future together, raising their actual child.

EXO as U.S. High School teachers (OT12 version):

Minseok--The Physical Education teacher

--He'd be that P.E. teacher who's almost always full of energy and encouragement. Practically everyone loves and respects him, even though he's actually one of the quieter teachers at this school. But even though he's quiet, when he does raise his voice to get his students' attention, everyone listens. He's very lenient and accommodating when it comes to injuries or when his students feel ill, and doesn't even punish people when they slack off without valid excuses. Everyone has their off days, is what he usually says. (None of his students have to know that he got that quote from his husband who coincidentally teaches right next door.)

Luhan--The Health teacher

--He'd be that kind of teacher that's fairly chill about everything. He lets his students call him by his first name Han or as Mr. Han. And instead of that stupid project where students have to take care of a robot baby or an egg or a sack of flour, Luhan was able to persuade the school board to let him do something more original. That is, for his students to take care of a soccer ball for a weekend. Keeping it clean, making sure the air stays inside, and bringing the soccer ball with them wherever they go. And the project was just quirky yet safe enough that it's become a set part of his curriculum. He and his husband Minseok have a good laugh about that whenever it comes time for him to assign that project again.

Yifan--The Intro to Art teacher

--He'd be that super relaxed teacher that barely teaches. He loves his students, don't get him wrong, but the things that he has to teach are pretty much just the basic fundamentals of art. There's an abundance of slideshows that do the job for him as well as the internet. And kids come in and half-ass their projects all the time to the point where he barely gives a fuck. But, he does have this one motto: Any art is good art as long as you tried. He even has a recent drawing of an alpaca that he messed up on framed on his desk to help motivate his students. Some students say that he should've been a P.E. teacher because of his height. And if he could teach only basketball for every semester, he'd definitely switch in a heartbeat.

Junmyeon--The English teacher

--He'd be that very handsome yet kind of awkward English teacher. The one that tries to get his students laughing and fails, only to succeed when he does something goofy by accident. He always has new book recommendations for anyone that asks, and loves showing the films inspired by said books. And he's not afraid to give a lot of essays too, so sometimes he gets long sighs and weary groans from his students. But, he's always full of encouragement for those that feel unconfident with their writing or analyzing skills, and that makes him one of the better English teachers at this school.

Yixing--The Guitar teacher

--He'd be that semi-strict teacher when it comes to teaching students how to play guitar. He gives song-playing tests fairly often, but also gives a lot of re-tries. He's always available during lunch time if anyone wants to practice in his classroom, or just eat their lunch and chat with him. And he really just wants the best for people, and so he tends to give off a very calm, warm aura. A lot of students, heck, even fellow teachers flock to him and his attractive dimples because of that.

Baekhyun--The Drama teacher

--He'd be the loud, gossipy drama teacher who gossips about fellow teachers and lets his students gossip to him about their classmates. Literally, he's just in it for the drama. But sometimes that aura that he gives off where his students can treat him as one of their own changes dramatically when it comes to say, him directing school plays. Some might say he's a bit of a perfectionist, but he says that everything has to be great when he's one of the main foundations for keeping the art program afloat in this school!

Jongdae--The Chorus teacher

--He'd be an equally loud, chorus teacher. Literally, when he sings in his falsetto, you can practically hear him all the way from the language department. He's very patient and caring when it comes to his students though, to the point where some come to him during lunch for advice and such. And even the students that feel like they can't sing well end up having fun as he always manages to find a part for them that just fits. Some say he has perfect pitch, some say he's just very intuitive. But either way, tears get shed every year during the school's annual choir festival when his students end up beautifully singing one of many sad, old ballads to the masses.

Chanyeol--The Music Theory teacher

--He'd be another loud teacher, completing the trifecta of loudest teachers at this school. He always announces himself as a jack of all trades during the beginning of every new semester since he plays acoustic, electric and bass guitar, the piano, the keyboard, the drums, and even the didgeridoo. He also loves to sing, and got his love of music from the womb and--okay, he's also a pretty talkative teacher. But, when it comes to teaching about intervals and chords and various scale modes and the like--the serious side of him comes out. Sometimes he stumbles over his words in his excitement to teach, but eventually his students get what he means, and leave his class with a better understanding of the language of music every time.

Kyungsoo--The FCS/Home Ec teacher

--He'd be the cute Family and Consumer Sciences/Home Economics teacher that practically everyone's crushing on. Students and teachers alike want to either date him, adopt him, let him adopt them, and other things that are better kept as fantasies. His voice is fairly quiet yet soothing, and so when he talks, all of his students listen. He'll always walk around and offer high-fives to students that follow his directions well and re-assure the ones that might mess up on a step or two with a smile. He teaches how to cook, how to clean, how to deal with family life and relationships, and even how to be financially responsible. So, safety tends to be a main theme in his lessons too. The dance teacher also likes to stop by his class a lot, and from the soft smiles and parting hugs that they give each other, a lot of students have accurately deduced that they're dating.

Zitao--The Fashion Design teacher

--He'd be the fashion design teacher with an impeccable fashion sense. He's apparently sewn clothes for himself and others since he was a kid, and now wants to bring his knowledge to other eager, future fashion moguls. Sometimes he assigns a lot of projects, with deadlines that should be longer and aspects that shouldn't be so advanced for beginners, but he's working on it. Fortunately, he was able to persuade the school board to hire him an assistant. A really cute assistant that he's been dating for a long while now.

Jongin--The Dance teacher

--He'd be that very attractive teacher that again people fantasize about a lot. Dancing's so obviously his first passion, and it shows whenever he teaches a new choreography or dance lesson. Sometimes he and his students will jog out of the class, up the nearby stairwell and out onto the track-field to really warm-up. And sometimes his choreography may seem kinda difficult for beginner dancers, and leave some people frustrated. But, with his encouraging eyes, and his award-winning smile, even the most unconfident student continues to practice and try. And that's all he could ever ask for.

Sehun--The Assistant-teacher (Zitao's)

--He'd be the attentive and always well-dressed assistant-teacher in Zitao's classes, that looks done with everything a majority of the time. But, despite his naturally bored expression, he really cares a lot about these students too. He's the one that they thank whenever a deadline gets extended, or a project gets re-graded--since he's the one that ends up convincing Zitao to lighten up some. And with him and Zitao working together, morale in Zitao's classes have really gone up.

Twenty-Four (Exo FanFic) Chapter 9- Baby Project- Day 8

**Chapter 9**

"So how was your weekend?" Nana asked me as we were the first ones to sit down at the lunch table.

"It was uh..." trying to find the right word for my weekend. "Interesting, how about yours?" opening the wrapper off of the plastic spoon and fork.

"Annoying and boring. Sehun and I had to visit our grandma, so nothing really happened. It seem like you and Kai got over the awkwardness. Did he really walk into the bathroom while you were in there?"

"Yes he really did. But I have to tell you what really happened this weekend." I said to her. I motion to her to come closer, I looked to see if any one was around before I made sure the coast was clear. Pulling out my phone, I went to the gallery app and tapped on the picture.

"EWWW WHAT IS THAT!!!" She yelled but I shushed her before whispering what it was in her ear. Her face was priceless as she let it sink in and laugh her head off to the point she couldn't breathe.

"Haha I can't believe that happened."

"Shhh, don't tell Kai." I told her, putting my phone away.

"Don't tell Kai what?" a voice said making us jump in our seats.

"Oh my god, don't do that. You scared me. Are you a ninja or something? Make a sound why don't you so you don't scare people." Telling Kai off for scaring me. The guys one by one started to sit in their seats.

"Sorry Angel. But what is it that we can't tell me?" questioning me. I was lucky I could get food in my mouth so I didn't have to talk but even after swallowing my food he had asked again.

"Nothing. it was just something between Nana and I." I said hoping he would brush it off. And to my luck he did and went on into a conversation with some of the guys as Nana and I picked up on a different subject to talk about.

*****************

"Okay class so your homework to night is cooking a dessert. Anything you want, seeing we will be looking at the different types of desserts there are." Mrs. Jung said right before the school bell ringed. I had gather my things from the table and put them in my backpack. Kai was doing the same thing as we had Lulu in her car seat in the middle of the table between Kai and I.

"So my Angel, What will we be making for our dessert?" questioning me as I took Lulu only to have her taken out of my hands and Kai replacing his hand as he laced our fingers together. "I thought this was a assignment that needs to be done alone?"

"Nope not the way I see it." Kai leading us out the classroom into the hall.

"And how do you see it?" Asking him.

"You will always be my partner." he told me with a smile on his face.

"are you sure you two aren't dating?" Someone who was standing in front of us asked. I looked to see it was Chanyeol and the others.

"No we aren't dating." telling Chanyeol. "Then why are you two always holding hands?" It was a good question but I didn't have the answer too. I looked over at Kai to see him avoiding the questions and looks from me and the others. "Kai?"

"What? Her hands are always cold and I want to be her personal hand warmer." Kai answered. I didn't realize my hands were always cold. I guess I could never tell. "You have a problem with that Chanyeol Hyung?" by the looks of those two, it had seemed like they were fighting over something and I couldn't place my finger on it.

"Anyways, EunJi and I are gonna go, we have an assignment to make and it need to be done really well." Kai said as I had snapped out of my thoughts. I wasn't for sure of what was going on but I was being dragged away from everyone who was waving goodbye.

"Where are we going?" asking him.

"You will see." telling me as we walked a while away now. It seemed like a short walk but also long when we walked up to my Ma bakery cafe. Kai opened the door, letting the chiming bell ring. My Ma was standing next to a employee, talking about something on a piece of paper. "Mrs. YoungJi?" Kai called to get my Ma attention. She and the employee looked up to see us standing there. "Oh hi Baby, Hello Kai what brings you here?"

"Well I like to buy us a snack first but can we use the kitchen for our assignment for Home Ec?" Kai asked. I wide eyes. Why did he want to come here and make the dessert when there was a kitchen we could us at his or my house. Well I never been to his house but I would like to go one day.

"Alright but only for today." my ma said giving us a smile. The employee handed us a plate of pastries. Kai was about to pull out money when my Ma hissed at him. "Its on me deary, okay."

"Thank you Mrs. YoungJi"

"Thank you Ma"

Kai took the plate and lead both of us to a table near a window.  I was one step away from him when he pulled out a chair and gestured me to sit down. I had raised an eye brow at him as he give me a playboy smirk. I had rolled my eyes at him before I could feel the corner of my lips pull into a small smile and sat down in the chair he let me have.

"Why so gentlemen today?" questioning to what he has done for me today.

"What I can be a gentlemen to, you know." Pushing the plate towards me so I could have the first pick on what to eat. When eating, it was awkward but a good awkward silence, one that you can enjoy and not worry what to say to the other. I had quietly watch people walk by the bakery. People watching was the best thing to do when there wasn't much to do.

"Eunji?" a voice said my name making me snap out of my train of thoughts. I turned towards the voice of Kai leaning over the table, giving me a winning smile. "Should we decide what we want to make?"

"We should do my favorite cookies."

"Awww but I wanted cake"

"No cookies"

"Cake"

"Cookies"

"Cake"

"Fine we'll do both."

"Fine"

We finally agreed on what to bake. Since we were finished with the pastries snacks we took the plate with us and went to the kitchen where my Ma was. "Okay so there's ingredients in there and a baking book. Please don't make a mess. Mia is going to run the shop while I go to run some errands." Ma said. We nod and told her that we would be okay.

"So do you want to do the cake and I do the cookies?" I asked him as he nod. I got out the recipe for the cookies and looked through the fridge for my ingredients. Kai and I both started in silence I went to nake sure that the oven was preheating when I turned back around to my cookies I felt cake batter on my nose.

"Yah!!" I yelled as Kai laughed.

"Bwo?"

I dipped my finger in his cake batter and smeared it on his forehead. He looked like Simba when the monkey did smeared stuff on the cub at the beginning of the movie. I started laughing. "Hahaha you look like Simba"

"Well you look like Rudolph the red nose reindeer." He snapped back at me. This time I grabbed a hand full of flour and threw it at him. The icing that he make for the cake ended up in my hair.

It was pretty fun using the left over ingredients that we had for a food fight. We ended up on different sides of the room preparing for our next battle. What we didn't know was that when I went to throw flour and Kai went to throw eggs, my Ma had walked in.

"What the hell is going on in here!!" She yelled as Kai and I dropped our whisk and spatula.

"Ma, I can explain..."

"I don't need an explanation, what I need is this place spotless, no mess is to be seen!!" She yelled again. She turned on her heels and walked out the door, probably to clean up in the bathroom.

I felt guilty, that I made a mess in my Ma shop. I felt tears threaten to come but I pushed them back as a frown was on my face. "EunJi..." Kai lightly placed his hand on my arm sliding it to my hand. "I'm sorry EunJi this was my fault. I'll go tell your mom it was all me." He took a step away but I was able to get a hold of his shirt before he left the kitchen.

"Please don't go" I plead, looking at him with tears trying to fall.

"Okay, I won't go anywhere. Please don't cry. " pulling me into a hug.

<---- Chapter 8                                     Chapter 10 ---->

Anyway, today I found out about Lee getting pregnant on Gotham, so have some fluffy AU headcanons about that for that same AU where she and Jim keep accidentally acquiring teenage daughters.

From the beginning, all 3 of the girls are 100% sure that the baby will be a girl and they will not be convinced otherwise.  Lee keeps insisting they won’t know for sure for a few more weeks, but they know, so she should just quit lying to herself.

Ivy is most familiar with typical pregnancy symptoms, because her mom lost a baby a couple of years ago.  She still mostly doesn’t like Jim, but she finally starts to genuinely bond with Lee after she finds out about the baby.

Getting ahold of food for Lee’s weird pregnancy cravings in the middle of the night is 100% Jim’s job, but if he’s on stakeout or it’s the middle of the afternoon, Selina does it anyway.  She also makes sure Jim never hears the end of it and Lee never hears a peep about it.

Ivy’s a really good hair-holder when Lee’s got morning sickness and she keeps bringing lunch to the M.E.’s office just to check on her, even though she’s supposed to be at school.  Jim tells her off about ditching if he catches her there, but he usually doesn’t.

Bridgit’s good at most forms of basic cooking and insists on making Lee some eggs any time she seems even vaguely uncomfortable, which is mostly fine, because she keeps craving eggs anyway.  Sometimes she doesn’t even say anything, she just sits on the couch looking tired and a plate of eggs appears next to her.  If there are hard-boiled eggs in whatever disaster of a sack lunch Ivy has brought for the day, she knows Bridgit was involved.

They stop taking the stairs for the duration of Lee’s pregnancy, even though the elevator in their building is ancient and super slow. Ivy insists, and with that slightly-crazed look in her eye that means it’s better just to give in.  Sometimes early in her pregnancy, Lee takes the stairs when Ivy isn’t around, purely because she can.

The first time Selina breaks into the kitchen at Wayne Manor in the middle of the night, she is not prepared for Alfred to come barreling out of his adjoining bedroom with a gun.  When he finds out she’s just there to raid the fridge, he’s about to get mad, but when she tells him she’s looking for capers, that’s weird enough to side track the lecture.  She recites back the whole conversation that got her here and he sends her home with a cooler stuffed full of ice cream, capers, pickles, and olives, all packed in ice so it’ll still be cold when she gets back to the apartment.

Bridgit’s the only one they’ve been able to get to attend school regularly, but after Lee announces she’s pregnant, she quits going to most of her classes and camps out in the Home Ec room instead, sewing the baby a quilt.  None of the teachers can get her to budge and when they try too hard, the other girls start coming with her, because even the teachers generally try to avoid those three weird Gordon kids when they’re in a pack like that.

Bonus: Bruce buys a really nice and very expensive present for the baby, but when he realizes Cat is jealous, he writes her name on the tag’s ‘from’ line instead of his and convinces Alfred to let him squash his name onto the bottom of his tag so that it looks like Alfred’s gift is from both of them.

Rfa+minor trio reacting to mc being the worst cook in history but she looks so goddamn optimistic that they cant say her food is shit so its THE SHIT

✿ i may or may not have done some of these things over the years. which ones? guess.

Yoosung

Didn’t realize someone could mess up more than him.

It’s not that your food is misshapen. Yoosung’s food is misshapen. Yours positively looks diseased - like, what are those weird spots

are those sesame seeds?

why did you put sesame seeds in your eggs.

Tries to be kind about correcting your mistakes, and is as endlessly positive as you are about improving.

“It’s really good now! But I bet if we do this, it’ll be even better!”

This man learns to lie like a saint.

Zen

Since you’re the perfect person, you have to be the perfect cook, right?

WRONG.

WRONG.

ZEN HAS NEVER BEEN MORE WRONG IN HIS LIFE, AND HE IS THE KING OF POOR DECISIONS.

there is absolutely no way he’s going to spoil that delightful expression on his face though so he chugs beer to drown out the taste of Sin Itself.

Treats eating your cooking as a harrowing experience he must go through where the reward is your smile.

Always has beer with his meals, though. Always.

Jaehee

She grew up in an abusive household where her presence was constantly dismissed, derided, and unwanted, and she still has never experienced anything as awkward as this moment.

How do you not know?

How do you not see?

THE MEAT IS BURNED ON THE OUTSIDE AND RAW ON THE INSIDE, HOW DID YOU DO THIS.

She tries to tell you but you’re just

you’re just so happy and

…

She starts walking cooking shows with you and prays it’ll do something to fix the travesty that is your food.

Jumin

Never, not once, has Jumin encountered bad cooking, so he doesn’t actually realize you’re doing anything wrong.

He just think’s that putting a cup of black pepper instead of a tablespoon into food is “a thing commoners do”, and treats it like a curiosity.

“How peculiar. Does the spiciness disguise the poor quality of the ingredients?”

“I see… is the texture both crunchy and hard to compensate for the pasta’s blandness?”

“Hmn… do the black parts give it extra flavor?”

doesn’t understand why you get mad after that. oops.

707

He puts his hands on his shoulders. He stares into your eyes. “MC,” he says gravely, like he’s about to deliver a terminal diagnosis. “I regret to inform you that you cannot cook.”

your heart is shattered to pieces, but before you can emotionally collapse, Seven continues.

“However, my love! Do not despair. This affords us with an excellent opportunity. Do you know what that is?”

You shake your head mutely, and Seven’s grin lights up the room.

“I can’t cook either. So together, we’re going to make the worst dish possible, and we’re going to force everyone else to eat it.”

It becomes a game. The rest of the RFA thinks you and Seven are unaware of how bad your Ratatouille de Actual Live Rats with Diced Grape Tomato Sauce actually is, and while they’d tell Seven to buzz off, they can’t tell you. So faced with your unending cheer, they eat it.

They consume it.

You make a corporate heir, a famous actor, and a former secret agent consume your terrible cooking.

you are monsters.

V

Doesn’t grimace. Doesn’t cower. Doesn’t say a word. He just smiles and says “thank you” when you present him al dente pasta that probably hasn’t actually ever touched water.

It’s not a lie. It’s genuine. This man doesn’t care that it’s garbage. You being happy and you trying to make him happy by spending time on something is enough for him.

Even when you ruin a slow cooked pot-roast by putting jelly in it.

Even then, he still smiles, eats it, and says he loves you.

Unknown (Saeran)

Like his twin, he’s also bad at cooking. Unlike his twin, he isn’t going to admit it, and he unknowingly joins you in being a terrifying force in the kitchen.

Dishes become exponentially worse when touched by the two of you. Saeran wants to add sprinkles, you want to add frosting, and suddenly your lasagna looks like a birthday cake.

“Let’s add candles! It can be dessert.”

The person who bears the brunt of your abuse is Seven, who doesn’t have the heart to tell either of you how awful your food is.

It culminates in you sending him to the hospital.

You’re enrolled in classes after that, becoming a poor home ec teacher’s problem.

Vanderwood

Vanderwood wakes up at 3AM to find you sobbing over the stove, its glass top shattered and spices scattered everywhere on the floor.

Apparently, you’d been possessed by the fae desire to make gingerbread cookies. Apparently, you were also too short to reach the cinnamon and cloves the recipe called for, and - in your flailing - the glass bottles all spilled out of the cabinet, breaking the stove, hitting you on the head, and scattering all over the floor.

In a vacuum, this might be an incidence of clumsy-cute, but you do this constantly. In a previous life you must have angered the god of cooking because kitchen appliances are always trying to kill you.

Vanderwood had to save you when you got your hair caught in the mixer. Vanderwood has had to bandage your wounds when you burned yourself on the stove. Vanderwood has had to help you pick up all the groceries from a collapsed fridge, and Vanderwood proceeds to baby-proof the kitchen and ban you from unsupervised cooking.

It’s for your own good, they say. I don’t want to come in here and find your decapitated body.

there is not a lot you can do in the face of their Motherly Tone.

Money Money Money!!!

In today’s society it seems like you need to work 20 jobs to break even.  (I wish I were joking.)  The reality is living can be expensive.  Personally, I love having things...but I hate to spend money.  (I’m kinda crazy like that.)  As I’ve gotten older my hatred of spending has won out over things.  In fact, I want to get rid of a lot of our things now.  But even without a lot of things...living is expensive (need I say FOOD).  Living on a single income can be hard.  So...here are some of the ways we have found to decrease bills. 1. Skip the middle of the grocery store. (This is also more healthy.)  Fruits and veggies, fresh cheeses, fresh meats, milk, etc.  The only time I venture into the middle of the store is if I need flour/sugar/you get the idea.  This saves a ton of money because I don’t have little ones begging for cookies, ice cream, or other treats.  If she doesn’t see pop tarts with super heroes on them...she won’t ask for them. 2. Meal plan!!!  Meal plan using the sales ads but don’t focus on 100% following the meal plan.  I know that my grocery store will have manager’s specials with produce that is getting ready to go bad.  I once spent about $10 and bought about 40 pounds of apples.  Homeschool lesson!!!  Munchkin and I made apple sauce.  (Thanks to our handy dandy apple peeler she was able to help a lot more than she expected...and she loved it.)  We ate on that apple sauce for about a year.  Well, we have some of it left to tell you the truth.  We also hit up the pineapples when our grocery store puts them on sale for 99c each.  My mom and sister get involved in this.  We will head up to my sister’s house and can pineapples until the day is done then split up the goods the next weekend.  We also realize that shopping in the morning is better because our grocery store will discount meat by 25% that goes out of date in the next two days. (yes, even the stuff on sale.  I’ve been known to find whole chickens on sale for 88c and get 25% off of that.  SCORE!)  And don’t forget...look at organic produce as well.  Do NOT discount organic produce just because it’s organic so it has to be more expensive.  I’ve found a lot of organic produce on sale for cheaper than conventional.  Farmer’s markets are also a big help. 3. Cook from scratch!!!  These are great lessons for your kids in regards to science, math and home ec.  Regardless of age, if they are old enough to be “in school” they are old enough to help out in the kitchen.  I bought Munchkin her own “knife” years ago.  (It was from a store going out of business...hard plastic, big handle and serrated.  Better than a butter knife at cutting but not sharp enough to slice a finger open.)  Munchkin loves cutting up fruits and veggies, measuring them out in the metal measuring cups.  She loves helping break open eggs and whisking them to make scrambled eggs. She loves making tortillas, bread and other things. 4. Lower/raise the temp in the home.  It really does make a difference.  In winter I set our thermostat at a lower temp during the night...we already have blankets so those are free to cuddle up under.  In the summer, we raise the temp during the day.  (On a side note, thermal curtains, while expensive, can be a money saver long term as well.) 5. Buy used!!!  Cars, clothes, curriculum, supplies and household items.  I’m a huge fan of buying at pop up consignment sales (and selling).  Swap shops on facebook...also a huge fan.  I wouldn’t buy used undies but a shirt or pants...heck yeah!  Most of Harley Quinn’s baby stuff is used.  My Moby and Boba wraps...all used.  (Seriously not paying 40-60 a wrap.) 6. Baby sitters are trade off days with other homeschooling moms.  Yes, we take turns because baby sitters are wicked expensive! 7. Pintrest/blogs/facebook/Teacherspayteachers.  Use them!!!  Tons of free things!  I can’t tell you how many free things I’ve found and happily used.  (I’m in the process of setting up a TPT account.  I promise I will get around to it one day.) 8. Getting rid of satellite.  Yes, we did.  We also got rid of magazine subscriptions and other paid monthly things not needed.  (Ask yourself if the monthly make up samples are worth $120 you could put towards something needed or the Sirius radio service.  When we cut the cords we ended up freeing up between 150-200 a MONTH!!!  Holy cow!!!)  The best part...we don’t miss any of it.  We check out movies and tv series from our library.  Heck, our library even has video games (don’t know if they have the systems to check out). 9.  Use local resources!  Our library is awesome.  It provides book clubs, story time, art history classes, lego club and tons of other free things.  I’ve taken essential oil classes, leather working classes, cooking classes, cheese making classes and so much more...all for free.  Munchkin has taken ballet classes, art classes, chemistry classes, biology classes, and so much more...all for free.  The local state and federal parks have classes for free (you can even request classes).  We can go on hikes, play in the sand or swim in the lakes.  There is so much to do and it’s all free!!! 10. Get memberships to science museums, zoos, aquariums, or other such places you want to visit more than once a year.  You can use these to your advantage on purpose or by accident.  (I’ve been known to be driving in town and Munchkin say “The zoo is over there, can we go?” and I respond with...”Sure, why not.”  Hey, it’s free...why not!  If you can’t afford memberships, contact the facility and ask when there would be discounted days, free days, or if they have scholarships you can apply for.  This is also a help if you are traveling.  We went to West Palm Beach awhile back on the cheap (no, really it was cheap).  We were able to go to museums and other fun places cheap or for free due to our memberships.  If you have a membership check out the reciprocal facilities. 11. Be ok with not spending tons of money on your kids.  Getting rid of the satellite has seriously saved us money on a few fronts.  First of all it stopped a rather expensive bill every month.  But it had secondary benefits in regards to saving money as well.  Munchkin wasn’t bombarded with the “newest and hottest” toys on the market so she didn’t constantly want want want.  Meanwhile, Mad Scientist and I weren’t bombarded with the “if we loved our children we would” commercials.  We got rid of all of the commercials that tried to play on our emotions.  Choosy moms choose Jiff.  Yeah, no they don’t.  But I can promise you I would see commercials playing in my head when I would grocery shop.  Now I buy food for a need instead of commercial.  We no longer feel guilty for not giving/doing more.  It’s ok to not spend tons of money on your kids.  They don’t need to new expensive toys. 12. Learn the difference between a need and a want.  I know this sounds silly and cliche but, as a society, we’ve forgotten the difference.  We don’t need tons of decorations for our homes.  We don’t need tons of toys for our children.  We don’t need the newest gadgets.  We don’t need a NEW car.  We may need a car, but not a new expensive one.  A car 3-4 years old within our budget is just as good as a new off the lot car.  Buying a foreclosed home in good condition is just as good as buying a home at full price in good condition. So there are some of the things we do to save money.  It really does help.  If you have any other tips/tricks/suggestions feel free to add to my list!