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christ0pher-evans · 3 years

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Healed Heart

Final Part of the Shattered Heart Mini-Series

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader Warnings: 18+ Minor Smut / Angst / Cheating / Arguing / Mentions of Divorce / Swearing Word Count: 2.9k A/N: So here is the final part of my mini-series. I honestly cannot thank you so much for the support on this, it means a lot to me and I love you guys for it!!! Please let me know what you think. I hope you’re happy with the ending because it took me a really long time to decide how I could finish off this story with justice. Thank you again, truly😘 Please reblog and like🖤

Part One: Shattered Heart Part Two: Troubled Heart Part Three: Bewildered Heart

♡

Three tortuous days had passed since you had last seen or spoke to Chris, three days since you kicked him out your home. You’d had nightmares about being in a loveless and hateful marriage, steamy dreams about your recent rendezvous and nights where you just felt so alone that you had cried yourself to sleep. It was safe to say that the past three days had been exhausting.

Although fucking Chris in the kitchen during a harrowing argument probably wasn’t the smartest thing you’ve done, it led to some realisations about how you wanted to proceed with your marriage. You definitely didn’t regret anything you said, or did with Chris that day and that was what you found important amongst the disaster. Not regretting your decisions meant that you knew you wanted to move forward in your marriage, and not look backwards; something you would consider a big first step in repairing your marriage. You knew you couldn’t forget what happened and would have to address it before moving forward but you knew you had the desire to push through the hard times.

You’d called Chris that morning and told him that you wanted him to come home, not that he could or should but that you wanted him at home with you. Emotionally, it felt like the right decision, because at the end of the day he was your husband and you missed him. Practically, it is his home as well and it was the only place you could both be to sort out your marriage with privacy. You didn’t want to be surrounded by the media or by prying eyes. Hell, you didn’t even want the opinion of family or friends, this was between you and Chris only.

As you tidied up the house a bit and thought about the moment Chris would walk through the door, it was clear to you that no matter how angry or hurt you were, Chris was your endgame. You had played all the variables over and over in your head loads of times, societal rights and wrongs about cheating when you realised, fuck society. You would never leave your husband over this, and that was okay. This was your story and who cared what anyone else thought, because you didn’t want to give up. You owe it to yourself, to your marriage, to try and fix everything before throwing it away.

For the first few days, Chris slept in the spare room and you danced around each other, trying to find your new normal whilst you navigated the mess that was your marriage.

Once the first week passed, Chris continued to sleep in the spare room and you finally plucked up the courage to address the problem that had been plaguing your marriage for weeks, months if you consider back to when the problem initially started.

The day you decided to bring it up, you had finished work early and Chris was already at home when you arrived back around 3pm.

Walking through the house, you finally found Chris in the home office.

“I thought you were filming today?” Chris looked up at the sound of your voice.

“Oh hi sweetheart. I didn’t hear you come in? Um, yeah I was but, uh.. she turned up to re-film some scenes so I came home.”

You winced at the thought of her and Chris together but was quickly calmed by the effort Chris had made to avoid her.

Clearing your throat, you found the courage to reply.

“Oh, er, did you not have to keep filming?” Leaning against the door frame, you settled in for a longer conversation.

“It wasn’t anything that I can’t just do another day when she isn’t there. I’ve got some scripts to read over anyway so it’s fine.”

You sighed. This seemed like an appropriate time to bring up the unspoken topic so you could start moving forward but your anxiety felt crippling in that very moment, you didn’t know if you could face it.

“Sweetheart..” Chris whispered, “Y/N, sit down, please..”

You moved to sit down on the small sofa by the window, tucking your feet up and under yourself. Chris moved to join you, sitting fairly close but not touching you as you hadn’t crossed that boundary since he came home.

“Look baby, I’ve been home a week now and we’ve just walked around this house like we are two strangers. I need you to talk to me, tell me what you’re thinking because you’re the one that told me you wanted me to come home?”

You looked up from your lap and straight into Chris’s eyes, “You do feel like a stranger to me.”

You heard his voice hitch in his throat, clearly caught off guard by your blunt answer.

“I’m still me, sweetheart. I’m the same person you met seven years ago and I’m the same person you married four years ago. Please don’t think I’ve changed.”

A lone tear falls straight from your eye, as you whimper, “I miss him.”

It takes Chris no longer than a second to pull you into his lap, all boundaries obliterated, as he hugs you like his life depends on it. As you cry all you can hear is Chris repeatedly whispering, ‘I’m here. I’m still me. I love you.’

You shudder at the softened and sweet contact, something you hadn’t felt for weeks but you embraced it, leaning further into Chris’s chest for comfort.

Once you had basked in the feeling for a bit longer, shutting the world and your problems out, you knew you had to move away. It would have been unfair to give Chris mixed signals as your marriage was still clearly on the rocks.

Sitting back up on the sofa, you composed yourself.

“I know you are still you Chris, but you’ve changed to me now. This you..”, you sigh before continuing, “..you’re tainted and untrustworthy, you’re the man that cheated on me, you’re not my husband. I need to get to know you again, and I need to learn to love our marriage again, and learn to trust you again. It’s going to take time.”

“B-but you want to try?”

“Of course I want to try. Endgame right? That hasn’t changed for me but other things have to change, we cannot continue like this otherwise if something else were to happen, I don’t think we would survive it.”

“I am infinitely yours sweetheart. Forever.” You watch Chris smile sweetly.

Feeling slightly more confident and feeling like Chris has really been listening to you, you knew it was time to talk about her.

“Okay, well whilst we are here, I think we should talk about her. It’s the biggest hurdle for me, and I can’t move past it. I just can’t deal with you seeing her right now, not whilst I’m learning to trust you again. I’ll never trust her so I need to 100% be able to trust you again.”

Grabbing hold of your hand, Chris nods in understanding.

“That is completely fine sweetheart. For now, how about I just work my schedule around when she isn’t there and wait until you are comfortable before I finish filming my scenes with her? I don’t care if it postpones the film, or they replace me, you are more important to me than any film and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you!”

You nod feebly, shocked and relieved with the instant commitment Chris was happy to make to save your marriage and earn your trust back.

An awkward silence falls over the room at the monumental conversation you just had. Needing a moment to yourself, you decide to make a quick exit.

‘Um, I think I’ll go and grab a shower before dinner.” Quickly leaving, you rush to your ensuite.

The shower provided a solace to digest what just happened, a few tears falling as you feel overwhelmed. But you left the bathroom with a renewed sense of hope.

It was another week of tough conversations and private marriage counselling before you felt you had reached another milestone in fixing your marriage.

You were in the ensuite of your bedroom when Chris came in to say goodnight. He was merely wearing a pair of pyjamas bottoms that amusingly you were wearing the matching top of.

He chuckled as he leant against the wall, “I was looking for that top.”

You giggled lightly and blushed, using all your self control to not drool over seeing Chris topless. Unfortunately, you had never been good at hiding any of your emotions from Chris and you saw him smirk slightly at your flustered state.

“Okay, well, I just came to say goodnight, so uh- night I guess..”

You mumbled a goodnight back as Chris turned to walk out the room. A rush of affection from the interaction washed over you causing you to shout back towards Chris to catch his attention.

“Um, stay..”

You saw the startled look on his face as the words left your lips.

“Stay with me tonight..”, you repeated as if you were confirming your own words.

“Yeah, course I’ll stay, if that’s what you want?”, he shuffled back towards you.

“It is what I want.”

You smiled at him sweetly before you brushed past him and moved towards the bed, leaving him a bit stunned in the bathroom.

Weeks passed with no problems. You and Chris had gone back to sleeping in the same bed and you often woke up snuggled together. At first, you’d wake and quickly move away from him however, slowly, you became comfortable with it and you were finally starting to feel at peace in his arms.

You had woken up early this specific Monday morning as it was Chris’s first day back filming with her. You felt sick to the stomach at the thought of him seeing her again and had slept terribly. You knew this day would come and thought you would be, at least slightly prepared, but as the day dawned, you were scared. Nerves caged around your heart as your mind could only replay the moment Chris told you that he had kissed another woman.

Chris had to go back to work, you understood that. He had already put it off for a while and sacrificed enough of his job to try and reconcile your marriage. You almost felt obliged to let him go back to work, who were you to hold your husband back from his job?

You were sitting in the kitchen, slowly nursing a very strong coffee when Chris came down, ready for his day. You glanced up at him briefly, barely acknowledging his words to you.

“Y/N? Sweetheart, are you okay? You’re up really early?”

Glancing at the clock reading 7:30am, you shrugged and mumbled, “Woke up at 5:30am.”

You stared in the abyss, thoughts whirring through your mind. Thinking about being frightened to death about the thought that your marriage wasn’t even halfway back to where it should be. Knowing that Chris would see her today, spend all his time with her whilst you were waiting back at home for him. It felt like some sick and twisted de ja vu.

It had been almost two months since you’d last been with Chris in any form of intimacy, almost four months since you were truly a happily married couple and now he was going to see her again, were you really debating that history would repeat itself?

“Baby, will you talk to me? I can see something is on your mind”, Chris gently rests his hand over yours, bringing you out your nightmarish daydream.

Looking up at Chris, taking in all his handsome features, you thought, how could anyone ever resist him. The thought panicked you even more.

Learning from previous mistakes, you knew it was best to communicate to him how you were feeling.

“I’m scared you’re going to see her again today and history could just repeat itself. Nothing is fixed yet Chris, and it feels like we are already going backwards.”

Just when you thought that being honest and communicating with Chris was the best option, it backfired in your face. Chris scoffed, a look of disgust on his face.

“Huh, you’re not kidding?” Watching him run his hand through his hair, he turns away and slams his coffee mug down on the side. You jump at the aggressive action.

“You really think I’d do that again? You really think that little of me? Have you not seen all the work I’ve put into this fucking marriage the past couple of months?”, he shrugs and turns back to you, “What else do you want from me Y/N?”

You wince at his spiteful words.

“I know you’ve put a lot into this marriage Chris, so have I! We’ve been doing really well, but can you really blame me for having doubts on your first day back with her? I thought you’d understand!”

“No, I don’t blame you, but I thought you’d trust me more that this by now.”

You chew on your lip nervously as you both stare at one another, terrified of the silence.

“I’ve got to go to work Y/N, see you later.” You hear Chris huff before he walks straight out the house, leaving you sitting dumbfounded and anxious at your kitchen table.

Trying to do any work from home was useless as you just felt panicked and couldn’t stop thinking about how Chris’s day was going. You hadn’t heard from him since this morning at it was now 6pm.

After developing a painful stress headache, you decide to lay down in bed. Believing you can block the world out and briefly pretend that nothing is wrong in your marriage, you shut your eyes momentarily.

FLASHBACK.

Waking up so softly, you barely blink your eyes open as you feel tender kisses dancing their way up your back, following the line of your spine. You flutter your eyes open carefully, aware of the vibrant sunlight gracing your face as you try to focus your eyes, gradually making out the floor length curtains gently blowing through the breeze from your open balcony doors. You can hear the soft crashes of the waves and can see the soft, baby blue sky from your place on the bed as you stretch out all your limbs from an energetic night. You let yourself surrender to the feeling of Chris’s lips grazing against your bare body.

As he gradually makes his way up to your neck and cheek, you hum in utter happiness and contentment as he places one final kiss on your cheek as he leans over your body. You can feel every line and shape of his naked form as it presses up against you. You think about how you’ve never felt so happy and loved in this moment, knowing that this is exactly how you’ll get to feel for the rest of your life.

“Good morning Mrs. Evans”, Chris roughly whispers, his voice hoarse from minimal sleep. He nibbles on your ear teasingly before grinding his core over your ass. You whimper at the feeling his movements evoke from you.

“Mhm, I like how that sounds”, you mumble before smiling happily. The use of that name giving you butterflies. The one that now belongs to you, the name that now proves you belong to each other forever.

END OF FLASHBACK.

You wake with a start as you hear the front door slam slightly. You sit up too quickly, as you feel light-headed and your vision blurs slightly. You breath deeply, gaining your bearings before looking at the bedside clock. 7:30pm; you had slept right through dinner.

Not that it mattered because you would have been eating alone anyway, you thought.

Your body adjusts to being awake, your stomach fluttering slightly at the memories and feelings that the dream provoked. Momentarily caught in a fever dream.

Back in reality, you brain registers that there was a slam at the door. Quickly, you get up and rush downstairs to see what is happening.

As you halt at the bottom of the stairs and look out into the open plan room, you see Chris standing by the breakfast bar. The very same breakfast bar that holds so many recent heartbreaking conversations. But this time, it doesn’t bring you sadness.

There Chris stands, holding takeout food in one hand and in the other, your favourite donuts. Behind him, on the wall, hangs the framed photo from your wedding day. Your matching smiles beaming on both your faces, almost as if they are lighting up the room.

You look back at him, standing here in your house. Bringing home dinner to you. Coming home to you.

Your breath catches in your throat, “It’s you Chris, it’s always going to be you.”

You watch him place down the food on the side, before he begins striding towards you. Stuck in your spot, you can’t do anything but smile at your husband as he reaches you.

“Forever yours”, you whisper before Chris’s lips crash onto yours for the first time in months. Your lips work together as your hands grip as his waist and his grasp your neck and face so you can’t move away. So you can only feel Chris, so you can truly remember the raw intimacy and passion between you.

As your lips melt together, it feels as monumental as the moment he kissed you as you became his wife. It feels as if your story is beginning again; with a fresh start and a new-found hope for your marriage.

♡

Forever Tags: @itsscottiesstark @patzammit @partypoison00 @cynic-spirit @n3ssm0nique @sohoseb @madbaddic7ed @moonlacebeam @ilovetheeagles @beautifulrose0809 @lovelyladymayyy @tenaciousperfectionunknown @mysticapples17 @whxre4cevans @firoozehmoon @spookyparadisesheep @mytbel0st @thatonelatina @snowy992 [Please drop me a message if you’d like to become part of the taglist for this series or any of my work]

#shattered heart mini series #healed heart #chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans series #chris evans mini series #chris evans angst #chris evans x you #chris evans smut #rpf

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forzalando · 3 years

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Flustered | Fred Weasley

Pairing: Fred Weasley x F!Reader Word Count: 2.5k Warnings: mentions of underage drinking and alcohol, tickling, making out Summary: Your flirty friendship with Fred Weasley comes to a resolution after an argument surrounding the Yule Ball that took place all those years ago.

A/N: hi friends! this is a Fred Weasley fic based on a tik tok i saw last night (all credit for the bolded line goes to the creator of the tik tok). also thank you to @gcdric for discussing this with me very late last night, i hope it turned out well omg i’m NERVOUS. anyway! off we go. please let me know if you’d like to be added to my taglist! i’m updating it since i was on hiatus for awhile! love you guys!

As you sat on the couch of the Burrow, your eyes fixated on the many pictures in the Weasley’s living room, your mind began to drift off with thoughts of the freckled, red-headed boy sat in front of you giggling with his siblings.

There was something extraordinarily special about your friendship with Fred Weasley. After ten plus years of him being the most important person in your life, ever since your first day at Hogwarts when he tripped over your robes as you and your fellow first years hurried into the Sorting Ceremony, you couldn’t imagine life without him.

You had been through so much together; every Hogwarts experience there was to be had, first kisses, first heartbreaks, the Second Great Wizarding War, he was by your side through everything.

“What’s on your mind, Y/N? You look to be thinking entirely too hard for my liking,” Fred sassed, breaking you out of your trance.

“Too hard for your liking?” you retaliated. “What do you care what I’m thinking about?”

“It’s supposed to be a relaxing weekend! You’re much too deep in thought to be relaxing, so of course I care.”

“Well, if you must know, I was thinking about you, Freddie.”

“Carry on then, love. I’ve always wished for your thoughts to be consumed by me.”

With a cheeky wink, Fred went back to a game of exploding snap and you didn’t need to watch to know that Ginny was absolutely kicking his arse. However, you didn’t miss the sly smile that George gave you when Fred’s attention was diverted from you.

It wasn’t uncommon for the two of you to flirt with one another. In fact, you would dare to say it was the most predominant form of communication between the two of you. There was the occasional time or two where you thought that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same, but he’d always look away quickly or press a kiss to your cheeks instead of your lips, laughing it off as the two of you caught up in a moment that would cross a line that could never be crossed, though you so desperately wanted to.

After another round of exploding snap, Ginny said her goodbyes and apparated back to her flat, but not before promising that she wouldn’t miss anymore family dinners for quidditch practice, which you knew would happen inevitably but smiled nonetheless at her enthusiasm. You’d been a regular appearance at the weekly get-together for as long as you could remember, you were practically part of the family so you could say with appropriate accuracy that Ginny definitely missed dinner more than all of her siblings combined due to her busy schedule.

“Well, I suppose it’s time for us to head back as well,” George mused, eyeing the leftover pies in the kitchen. “Are you staying at ours tonight, Y/N?”

“I’d love nothing more. Besides, I didn’t get to play Fred in exploding snap and I want to knock his ego down just a little bit more.”

George linked arms with you and Fred, laughing about his brother’s awful skills as you apparated to their flat above the shop.

You’d spent many a nights at the twins’ flat over the past couple of years. After the war, you had moved in for a while until you found a job and managed to rent your own place. But, they never got rid of your bed that took up a large corner of their living room, which came in handy after weekly Weasley dinners when you just wanted to spend a bit more time with your favorite boys.

“I’m absolutely knackered,” George said once the three of you had settled on the couch. “I think I might go to bed now, if I’m honest. Besides, I want to be up early to work on those new design sketches for the storefront.”

“George Weasley, you have never gotten up before 10 o’clock on a Sunday in your entire life,” you scoffed.

“There’s a first for everything, Y/N. Goodnight to you and Freddie!”

As George turned away from you both, he faked a yawn and when he was sure Fred wasn’t looking, winked back at you to further confirm your suspicion that he wanted you to be alone with Fred.

He had just about had enough of the tension between you both and took every chance he got to get the two of you alone, by any means necessary.

When you heard George’s bedroom door close, you noticed Fred scoot closer to you on the couch until your legs were touching. He slung his arm over your shoulders and you swung your legs up to lay across his lap.

“What were you thinking about earlier? While Gin and I were playing by the fireplace?” Fred wondered aloud.

“Oh, I was looking at all the pictures on the walls at your Mum and Dad’s. I saw one from you and George’s first day at Hogwarts and I was thinking about how we first met.”

“Hmm, so you were thinking about one of the most embarrassing moments in my life?”

“Please, you’ve done much, much worse. Remember that time in our sixth year when you tried to outdrink George after we won the Slytherin match and you – ”

“Ah, ah, ah, I thought we agreed to never speak of that incident again,” Fred said as he visibly shuddered.

“I was just pointing out that I can think of quite a few moments that were far more embarrassing than tripping on my robes.”

“You’re one to talk! Don’t you remember our fifth year when you and George were running from Filch and you knocked Wood to the ground? Bloody broke his arm, you were so lucky Madame Pomfrey had him fixed up before our next match or he would’ve had a heart attack.”

A loud laugh escaped your lips as you covered your face in embarrassment; that was the year you had followed Oliver around like a lost puppy, although your schoolgirl crush paled in comparison to how you’d felt for Fred back then and now as well but neither twin would ever let you live it down.

“Do you remember the Yule Ball? When Flitwick caught you trying to spike the punch and you slipped and fell in the middle of the dance floor?” You chuckled at the memory, even if the Yule Ball was an event you had tried to forget.

“You were so mad at me that night and the whole week before, I was terribly distracted. If we had been on good terms I would’ve gotten away with it and the slipping never would have happened.”

“Well, it’s your own fault we were fighting! I still can’t believe you didn’t ask me to go with you.”

“Oi, it’s not my fault when you never said you wanted me to ask you.”

“I thought I had made it painfully obvious when I asked you every morning at breakfast if you’d found a date yet and told you that I didn’t have one either.”

Fred threw his head back and laughed, the thought of your shocked face when he had asked Angelina was too priceless a memory to ever forget.

“You were so jealous,” Fred mumbled.

“Jealous?!” you screeched. “I wasn’t jealous, I was annoyed that I had to spend all night with some Durmstrang tosser stepping on my toes. We’ve had this argument literally a million times.”

“No, you were definitely jealous. You shot poor Angie daggers the whole night and she’s such a lovely girl.”

“I shot her daggers because she hogged you and I didn’t get to dance with my best friend a single time at the only Ball we ever had at school.”

“I would’ve asked you to dance if you weren’t mad at me, and you know she was only dancing with me to make George jealous, even if he was oblivious.”

You smiled at that; you knew Angelina only had eyes for George and that going with Fred was some elaborate ruse. Shockingly, it ended up working, and he and Angelina have been together ever since.

“Still think you were jealous,” Fred challenged, poking you in the exact spot on your abdomen that he knew you were ticklish.

“Fred Weasley, for the last time, I was not jealous,” you emphasized as you poked him back.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, love,” he said lowly, a daring glint in his eye.

Never one to heed warnings or follow directions, you poked him again and within seconds he had you pinned underneath him on the couch, his fingers trailing up and down your sides as you couldn’t help but laugh boisterously beneath him.

“Fred – ” you gasped. “Freddie, please, I actually think I might pee on your couch.”

“Not until you admit you were jealous that I asked Angelina!”

You shook your head, the combination of laughter and trying to catch your breath kept you from firing back a witty remark.

After a few moments, you simply couldn’t take anymore and shouted out, “FINE. Fine, you win.”

“What was that, lovey? I couldn’t quite hear you.”

“I said, fine, I admit it. I was jealous that you asked Angelina when I wanted you to ask me,” you grumbled, struggling to catch your breath in between words.

“See, now that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

You glared up at him and moved to push him off of you when you realized just how close his face was to yours. If you concentrated hard enough, you could count each individual freckle splattered across his nose and cheeks. Almost instinctually, your eyes flickered down to his lips, but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of staring, so you quickly looked away.

Fred noticed that you couldn’t take your eyes off of him and, in true Fred Weasley fashion, couldn’t resist a flirty joke.

“You really want to kiss me right now, don’t you?” Fred chuckled.

“Yeah,” you sighed, “yeah, I do.”

Surging forward, you pressed your lips to his and immediately wove your fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. You were so tired; tired of the constant flirting and feeling as if you would forever have to love him from afar while he lived his life blissfully unaware of how much it hurt you to hide how you felt.

His arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to him; the raw emotion in the way he desperately kissed you left little doubt in your mind that he had wanted this for as long as you had. His hands slipped under your shirt and his fingers blazed a trail of fire up your spine; a breathy moan escaped your lips but Fred swallowed the sound with his mouth, deepening the kiss and pulling you even closer.

A scream from behind the couch caused you to jump apart, chests heaving and hair sticking up every possible way. You sat up to look over the back of the couch to see George Weasley, looking visibly shaken and guilty, with his hands covering his eyes.

“Oh my god, I leave you alone for thirty minutes and you’re about to shag on my bloody couch. Jesus, ok, let me just, uh, well, I’ve probably ruined the mood, haven’t I?”

“George,” you hissed. “What are you doing sneaking around, I thought you were going to bed?!”

“Yeah, I said I was,” he said sheepishly as he uncovered his eyes, “but I might have been eavesdropping on your conversation. When I heard it go all quiet, I thought I’d come out and see if you two fools had fallen asleep, but clearly, that was not the case.”

“Eavesdropping? I swear to Merlin, George, you’re a ten year old boy. I can’t believe you! Of all the immature and invasive things to do, my God.”

“Well, pardon me, I just wanted to see if my idiot brother would finally grow some balls and tell you he’s in love with you!”

“I’m not sure what you’re on about but that doesn’t mean you can just sneak up on people,” you chided. “Fred, would you please back me up here, what is wrong with you – ”

You turned around to pull Fred into the argument only to find him sitting on top of the coffee table with a dazed look in his eyes and flushed cheeks.

“Fred, are you alright?” you asked worriedly.

He slowly lifted his head and looked into your eyes; you could see just how flushed his face was now that he wasn’t staring at the floor and good Godric, he was as red as the hair on his head.

“I…I…You,” he stammered. “You kissed me?”

“Yes, I suppose that is what happened,” you muttered sheepishly.

“Y/N Y/L/N…you…you kissed me?”

“Freddie, what the hell is the matter with you?”

George burst into laughter and you whirled back around to glare at him, however, this time, he didn’t hush up like he usually did.

“Like I said before, he’s in love with you, and now he can’t even form a coherent sentence because you kissed him, this is golden. Ol’ cock sure Freddie, a pile of mush because of a little makeout sesh, I’ve got to send an owl to Lee…” George trailed off as he turned and rushed back towards his bedroom.

You took another look at Freddie and smiled at the lovestruck look on his face. He was shaking his head in his hands and you saw the redness on his neck as well, which only happened when he was well and truly flustered.

“This is so humiliating,” he groaned as you sat down next to him.

“I think it’s rather cute, if that makes you feel any better,” you said as you chuckled and placed a hand on his thigh.

He removed his head from his hands and looked at you adoringly, the giddy smile on his face ignited butterflies in your stomach and your heart beat wildly in your chest.

“All the times I imagined how this would pan out…it definitely wasn’t supposed to happen this way. I mean, not that I’m mad about it, it was incredibly sexy how you just grabbed me and kissed me, but I wasn’t supposed to be a bumbling fool afterwards.”

A moment of silence washed over the both of you as Fred intertwined your hands and steadily held your gaze.

“George was right, you know. I am in love with you. Have been for quite a long time, if I’m being honest.”

“Well, in the spirit of honesty, I guess I should say that I’m in love with you too.”

“Bloody brilliant,” he sighed as he leaned in to kiss you again, but you stopped him just before your lips touched.

“You’re not going to pass out or anything if we kiss again, are you?”

“No promises, love, but I’ll try my best.”

taglist: @theweasleysredhair @hufflepuffbaby9 @theboywhocriedlupin @swellwriting @fortisfiliae @thoseofgreatambition @wildfire-whizbangs @woakiees

#fred weasley x reader #fred weasley #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley fic #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley oneshot #lumosbarnes #tw: alcohol

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leafs-lover · 3 years

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Forever My Dance Partner

A/N: This is a requested Mitch Marner piece. Thanks to @freddieflower3129 for the help :)

Warning: Drinking, Swearing, Smut

Word Count: 4500

“Hey babe you gonna be ready on time?” Mitch asks coming up behind you in the bathroom. You are in the bathroom hair dried and in the process of curling it, yet to even start your makeup.

“Am I a terrible person for not wanting to go?” you whine leaning against his chest setting your curling iron down.

“You hate when people cancel last minute, do you really want to be that person?” he asks his hands finding your hips.

“No” you groan “I just am really tired.”

“Well we can leave early and I don’t have to be at the rink tomorrow so we can sleep in” he smiles at you in the mirror knowing sleep in is your two favourite words.

He places a quick kiss on your cheek and heads over to the shower. You continue with your hair, almost burning a strand while watching him peel his clothes off in the mirror. His back is to you so he doesn’t see your eyes go wide staring at his naked body, and the sound of the water running muffles your moan. Once he starts to shower you wander off to the closet to pick your outfit, and also to wait until the steam clears from the mirror so you can continue getting ready.

“Ready” you grumble walking into the living room a little bit later. You find Mitch sitting on the couch ankles crossed with his feet resting on the coffee table. He stands up and you take in his appearance black denim clinging to his legs and light blue long sleeve collared shirt covering his torso. You grumble under your breath about how it only took a half hour for him to look that good, while you have been in the bathroom for an agonizing amount of time; though given your lack of energy everything took longer than it should have.

“Wow babe, you look great” he smiles kissing you lightly, causing some lip gloss to spread to his mouth. You bring a thumb up to wipe it away but Mitch leans in pressing his lips back to yours, smearing more across his lips.

He starts peppering quick wet kisses on your mouth and cheek causing you to laugh. “Now we can go” he remarks seeing you smile.

Getting out the door, you walk hand in hand through the halls, down the elevator. Once in the parking garage, his hand finds the small of your back, guiding you to the parking space. The ride to Justin and Audrey’s isn’t too far and is relatively quiet. You stare out the window while Mitch’s hand rests on your thigh.

It’s kind of unusual for you both to be this quiet for this long. Normally when you get in your head Mitch is the first person to pull you out, telling you a random fact or funny story; anything to get you to smile. But tonight it’s different, you can feel him glance in your direction periodically, but he leaves you to your thoughts for most of it.

“Hey Fred” you say walking to the elevator.

“Hey (Y/N)” he replies giving you a soft hug before greeting Mitch. You lean against the wall of the elevator while the two men chat beside you. Fred and Mitch chat the entire way up, his laughter echoing through the small space; but his laugh puts you at ease. Regardless of how you are feeling his laugh is fastest thing that can change your mood.

Once inside and around people you can feel your mood slowly shift. While still feeling tired, seeing your friends and laughing with them helps pull you from your funk.

“Hey you” Mitch says walking in to kitchen to find you. He wraps his arms around you and begins peppering soft playful kisses on your neck. “Woah you smell like beer” you laugh pulling your head back to look at him.

“You smell like beer” he retorts jokingly.

“No I smell like water and iced tea, that way we can get home later” you laugh.

“You’re always one step ahead” he smiles placing a soft kiss on your lips “that’s why I love you.”

You bring your hands to his cheek pulling his lips to yours. Your tongue slips into his mouth and you can taste the beer on his lips. He pushes you a couple steps back until you are pressed against the fridge as his tongue continues to dance with yours. His hands reach around you giving your ass a light squeeze, you giggle into the kiss and roll your hips towards him.

“Hey lovebirds there are other people here” Auston jokes causing you to separate. You feel heat hit your cheeks as you bury your head into Mitch’s chest.

“Yeah and some of them want the beer in the fridge” Willy adds.

With a couple chirps from the boys, the two of you make your way back to the party. You find some of the girls and fall into casual conversation, while Mitch and Freddie get into a heated discussion over some Netflix show. Your eyes find Mitch from across the room a few times, each time he sends you a glance.

Not the kind of glance that makes you want to lock him in a spare bedroom. Every time he smiles, sometimes his eyes linger; but there is no smirk or devilish grin instead you get the feeling he is talking about you.

You feel a hand lightly tap your wrist and you jump slightly; you turn and see Mitch. You had no idea he had left his post on the other side of the room let alone he was behind you.

“Sorry” he chuckles “come dance with me.”

“It’s not exactly a dancing song” you reply hearing Katy Perry being played.

“Trust me” he says lowly in your ear. You set your cup down and follow his lead to the middle of the room.

His hand finds the small of your back and he pulls you in close. You can smell the beer on his breath, the cologne of his body as he grips your one hand. “Mitch we can’t dance like this to Katy Perry” you laugh not even mentioning that nobody else is dancing.

At that moment, half way through the song you hear the tune switch to a piano ballad and Mitch starts to spin you around the living room.

Thought I was good, I was good on my own, I was alright Thought I was grown and the strangers I known, they were alright Thought that I knew everything, never wrong, I was alright Oh, I was good, I was good on my own, I was alright

You can feel all eyes on you but yours are locked on Mitch, his baby blues. He smiles placing a soft kiss into your hairline.

“I love you so much (Y/N)” he says softly in your ear. “You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me.”

You tilt your head to look at him with a large smile “I’d be nowhere if it wasn’t for you.”

“That’s a lie Mitchy” you reply and he shakes his head. He spins you out and pulls you back into his hard chest “you are everything to me.”

Oh, I lived a whole life Thinking I knew how my Heart could handle love A love I thought I knew Everything before us Was stretching out my heart, just So it could be big enough to beat for two

His hand slides lower, resting just above your belt. You can hear the hushes conversations going around you but you can’t focus on anything while Mitch continues to whisper in your ear.

“If I never amount to anything, never win a cup, or get injured and never play again it won’t matter because I would have you. I can’t imagine not talking to you every day, not seeing your pretty face in the morning.”

“Mitch” you say lightly feeling tears hit your eyes but he doesn’t stop, his mouth inches from your ear.

“I see you with Jace and Theo, and I can’t wait until it’s our baby your holding.”

He opens his hand spreading across your back and dips you backwards. His lips find yours and your hand on his bicep slides up to his neck gently gripping it for additional support, though you know Mitch won’t let you fall.

Never understood why People always say, love chooses you Now I do Now I do Didn't ever think that I could ever say I promise you

“(Y/N) he says bringing you back up to your feet. “I love you so much and I never thought I could be this happy. I want you to be my forever dance partner (Y/N).” His hands pull away from you and he fumbles in his pocket before dropping to his knee.

“Oh my god” you whisper bringing your hands up to your face in shock. The tears once sitting on your pupils are slowly rolling down your cheeks as he opens the small jewelry box.

Your eyes are glued to his, if they weren’t you would have seen him drop the box earning some chuckles from other guests.

And now I do Now I do Now I do

“(Y/N)” he grips your hand “will you marry me?”

“Yes! Of course” you yell almost before he even gets the question out. His hand is shaking as he slides the band on your finger. As soon as he is standing your arms wrap around his neck, your hands tangle in his hair and your mouth finds his.

This is the road, we can see where it goes together You are my home and I know I can stay forever

His hands are on your back holding you against his chest while your tongues dance in each other’s mouths. Your moans are swallowed by him, and for a second you forget everyone else is there. You don’t hear them clapping or cheering, you don’t hear their excitement your attention fixated solely on Mitch.

He is the first to pull away, his lips swollen and covered in your gloss. You’re about to lean in for more when you finally hear some voices around you and remember you are not alone. Instead you place one soft but tender kiss on his lips and place your head on his chest.

The next half hour is met with everyone congratulating you, hugs and the girls telling you they have the entire thing on video. You hear Mitch get chirped for dropping the ring. He says he thought he had pushed his nerves aside (being an athlete he learned to push away emotions during intense situations) until he actually got down on one knee. Once he actually got down on his knee, all the nerves and anxiety about you saying no came crashing over him, even though he knew the answer would be yes.

It’s something that the two of you had discussed. There was no way you would ever say no and he knew that; but in that moment it felt like a possibility to him. Finally you feel some of the excitement dissipate as everyone begins to separate into little groups around the room.

Mitch leaves for the bathroom and you wait a couple minutes before heading down the hall. He opens the door but before he steps out you shove him back inside.

“What are you doing?” he laughs as you lock the door behind yourself.

Your hands find his belt and begin to undo it, a dark grin spreading across your face.

“(Y/N/N)” he chokes out as you pop the button and slide his pants and boxers down his thighs a few inches. Your mouth finds his and you palm over him a couple times, feeling him begin to harden under your touch. Your mouth finds his neck and you start to suck on it before he pushes you off.

“Not there” he hisses knowing that your mouth is higher than the collar of a dress shirt, and he doesn’t want any hickeys to be visible in photos. You smile and fall to your knees; you feel the cool tile through the denim on your knees.

You tug on him a couple times, rubbing your thumb over the precum that has spilt out. You glance up at him through your lashes before finally moving your mouth, wrapping it around his hard cock as he hisses in response.

You hear him mumbling as you bob on him a few times, coating him in your saliva. Your tongue slides up the vein on his shaft and you see his eyes roll back at the feeling. Your cheeks hollow as one hand grips him taking what your mouth can’t fit.

Your hand and mouth work in tandem, as his hands tangle into your hair. He pulls your curls away from your face, gripping them in a loose pony at the back of your head. Your other hand reaches around and grips his ass, you use it to guide his hips forward slightly knowing Mitch won’t push more than your limits.

You continue to work on him, swirling your tongue around him when you feel his hands tighten in your hair. His hips involuntarily buck forward causing you to gag slightly and you know he is getting close. His soft moans are becoming sporadic, and your eyes lock on his.

The sight of you on your knees, beady eyes peering back to him has him quickly approaching his thigh. His moans are loud, but the music and laughter from the party are louder. “(Y/N) I’m gonna cum” he whispers.

You gently cup his balls and give them a light squeeze. You hear him groan above you as his hips twitch. Curse words are spilling from his lips as his hands tighten around your hair.

“(Y/N/N) I’m gonna cum” he warns.

A few seconds later and you hear him grunt as his dick twitches. Warm ribbons spill down your throat as you continue to suck him dry. Pulling your mouth off a little dribbles down your chin, Mitch holds a hand out which you graciously accept rising to your feet. You bring the back of your hand up and wipe away the cum dripping down your chin.

“Babe” he mumbles pulling you into his chest, his mouth pressing into your hair. “You rarely finish in your mouth, and you never swallow.”

“I do on special occasions” you tilt your head up to him. He brings his lips closer ghosting over yours “a proposal seems like a special occasion.”

“I don’t deserve you” he smiles pulling you in by the small of your back to kiss your lips.

“Why because I swallow sometimes?” you joke kissing him again.

He just shakes his head in response sliding his hand down inside your jeans. His large hand cups your cheek giving your ass a light squeeze while his lips press back to yours. His calloused index finger slips under your underwear and you giggle pulling away.

“We should go home” you smirk. He adjusts his pants while you fix some of your smudged makeup. He unlocks the door and tugs at your wrist pulling you down the hall. Once in the living room you hear some chirping from the players, while their partners murmur for them to be quiet.

Your cheeks immediately go red as your curls fall in front of your face, shielding you from their glares. You hear Mitch give a couple chirps back and your eyes find Audrey who smirks at you from the corner. Once your boots are on you quickly grip Mitch’s hand and pull him out the door and away from the laughter of his teammates.

Once in the elevator you are like two teenagers, immediately finding the others mouths. Moans and giggles fill the elevator, your hands wandering up his back as he pins you against the wall. If the ride was any longer you are sure he would have tried to pull your clothes off, but you hear the ding and it pulls you two apart.

As the sober one you are the one to drive home. The car ride home feels painfully long, you hit every red light. Mitch has a hand placed high on your thigh periodically giving you a firm squeeze.

“Babe” you whine at a red light “I’m driving.”

He turns in his seat to face you “I can’t keep my hands off you, fiancé” he smirks.

“Fiancé, I like that” you reply his words warming your heart. He leans forward in his seat and places a soft kiss on your cheek before sucking on your ear lobe. You groan slightly and push him off of you as you accelerate through the intersection. He falls back into his seat but keeps his hand firmly attached to your leg.

Once in the garage you quickly pull into your spot, leaving the car diagonal not caring to fix it. You hear Mitch joking when he gets out checking your parking garage, but you are well on the way to the elevator. The ride up is long; another couple stepped on with you. You’re wrapped tightly around Mitch and as soon as the door opens on your floor you pull him out dragging him down the hall.

His hands are wrapped on your hips as he pushes you forward; his lips trailing on your neck. Your mind is clouded with lust as you approach your door fumbling to get the door unlocked. Mitch chuckles against your neck grabbing the keys to open the door for you.

Once inside you both kick your shoes off against the wall and your mouths quickly reattach. Your kiss is hungry and passionate, as he guides you down the hall to your bedroom. Your hands are firmly gripped in his hair, only pulling apart to remove clothing.

Once in your bedroom you are both left in just jeans, a trail of discarded clothing left in your wake. You quickly undo is belt and pants, pressing them down his large thighs.

“Fuck baby” he groans as you palm over his boxers “it’s your turn.”

He pushes you back onto the bed, air leaving your lungs as you hit the mattress. He crawls over you with blown pupils while his mouth attaches to your neck. He sucks and nips your skin while his hand gently grazes over your stomach. His touch is soft and slow, feather like sending a shiver down your spine.

Finally his calloused fingers find your denim releasing the button. He pulls your pants and underwear down your legs bringing two fingers up to your dripping folds. His mouth finds a breast gently sucking on your swollen orb while your entire body arches up to meet him.

His two fingers press your folds open, and gently flick your clit a few times. His fingers dance around your entrance, playfully pulling your lips apart. Every time you think he is going to slide his fingers in they pull away, causing you to groan from under him.

His lips curl against the skin of your breast as he sucks on your nipple before finally sliding in. Your hips rise and head falls into the pillow feeling his long fingers press into your folds. He begins to pump his fingers in and out of you as his mouth switches to find your other breast.

Your hands quickly find his hair tangling in as his fingers curl inside you. He hits your sweet spot with every thrust, having long been familiar with your body. His teeth graze over your nipple and your entire body squirms under his touch as you feel your high quickly approach.

Your moans are deeper, heavier as your hands grasp at his dark roots. You feel him smirk as his mouth finds the valley of your breasts. His thick fingers pump in and out at a rapid pace and your heels dig into the bed as your vision goes white.

Mitch groans feeling you clench around his fingers. Warm white liquid spills out around him and he keeps pumping working you through it. You release your grasp on his hair and he pops his head up with a devilish grin “that was fast” he growls in your ear.

His voice is low and husky, echoing through the room. Before you can respond you feel his swollen tip poking at your entrance. He strokes it over your folds a few times coating it in your slick.

You grasp his cheeks pulling his lips down to yours as he pushes into your heat. He groans as you welcome him in, a leg wrapping around his hip. He brings a hand down to grip the underside of your thigh, holding it in place.

“Fuck you feel so good (Y/N)” he moans beginning to rock in and out of you, swallowing your moans with his kiss. He starts off slow allowing you time to adjust to his size. While he is relatively normal in length, he is thick.

Super thick.

The first time you say him you didn’t think you would be able to take him in. Your jaw fell to the floor but Mitch assured you he would take it slow. And he did, but a part of you thinks that was also for him. He said you were extremely tight, and if he had of gone much faster you think he would have finished in under a minute.

Now it’s years later, every time you see it you feel your breath catch in your throat but you are used to it and him to you. He knows to give you a few slow thrusts before picking up his pace. He says he can see it written on your face once you are ready.

“Mitch” you pant breathlessly pulling your mouth away. Your hands find his back digging your nails into his big muscles.

Dark eyes stare down at you, a string of curse words leaving his mouth. He squeezes your thigh as you roll your hips into him his pace picking up. You bring your lower lip between your teeth as your eyes roll into the back of your head.

You feel Mitch’s head duck down biting on your neck. Your moans get louder as your high gets closer.

“Babe I’m close” you groan and he smirks against your neck. His hand slips from your thigh to your clit and he begins pressing into it. Each thrust is harder and faster than the last. You claw desperately at his back while deep circles are pressed into your sensitive bud.

His mouth finds the sweet spot below your ear, sucking and biting at it until you’re falling apart under him. Your back arches and you clench around him, pulling him in to your warm heat.

“Fuck (Y/N/N)” he groans above you as you clench around him. Your nails leave deep crescents in his shoulder while your heel digs into his back. He fucks you through your high, as your vision goes dark. You hear him mumbling into your neck but can’t focus until your entire body relaxes.

He continues to piston in and out of you his hips snapping as he chases his own high. You feel him peppering kisses on your jaw as you whimper, your cunt becoming very sensitive in need of a break. You feel tears prick the edge of your eyes as your whines become louder.

“Mitchy” you moan.

“I know babe” he groans. He picks up his pace. He pushes off your body changing the angle hitting you slightly deeper as he starts to become sloppy above you.

“Mitch” you whine tears rolling down your cheeks. He groans and you feel his dick twitch as he spills inside you, warm cum flooding your walls. A few final thrusts and his body collapses on you.

You lie there silently, the only sound is your sporadic breathing. Slowly Mitch pulls out and you whimper at the emptiness causing Mitch to grin.

“You okay?” he asks wiping away the stray tear that has fallen. “You were superfast tonight.”

“Never had a problem with me being fast before” you joke and he laughs flipping his wet hair back from his face.

“I don’t have a problem with it” he smirks “it’s just unusual for you.”

“The excitement of tonight got to me” you smile pulling him in for a soft kiss.

He moans slightly and pulls away falling beside you onto his back. “So what about the end of July?” he asks.

“For what” you ask turning to look at him.

“Our wedding” he laughs.

“Oh” you say lightly.

“Second guessing?” he smirks at you.

“No I was just thinking we could do it next summer” you reply.

“You know July is over eight months away, I think we can plan it before then” he smiles. “I don’t want to wait a year and a half to make you my wife.” He rolls onto his side, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

You smile at his words “I know but” you trail off turning your head to look into his blue eyes that soft and genuine, etched with concern.

“But what babe?” he asks bringing a hand to your chin, gently rubbing it along your jaw.

“In eight months I won’t fit in my dress” you say.

Confusion washes over his face, his eyes shifting over you. You allow him time to process what you said when his eyes go wide and a large smile crosses his face.

“Baby are we having a baby?” he asks bringing his hand from your jaw to your stomach.

Tears prick your eyes and you nod quickly. His lips are instantly on yours, while he strokes over your stomach.

“When did you find out?” he asks crawling down to rest his head on your stomach.

Your hands find his hair, gently playing with his strands “when you were at practice, I was going to tell you tomorrow on your day off.”

You aren’t even sure if he heard you because he immediately starts kissing and whispering to your stomach. His hand is gently stroking over your stomach when his head snaps up to look at you.

“I’m such a dick for making you go to the party” he smiles.

“You didn’t know” you laugh running your hand through his hair. “Besides I had a very good time.”

He curls up beside you keeping his large hand glued to your stomach. His legs wrap over yours essentially becoming your blanket.

“So have you seen a doctor? They have you on any vitamins, or is there any special foods I should be buying to help this peanut grow?”

You laugh turning your head to look at him “I found out about 7 hours ago, I have not talked with a doctor yet.

“I’m just so excited” he smiles.

“I’m gonna be a daddy” he whispers eyes glazed over.

“Yeah” you smile up lazily tracing his tattooed arm “you’re going to be a daddy.”

#mitch marner #Mitch Marner Smut #Mitch Marner Fic #mitch marner x reader #toronto maple leafs smut #Toronto Maple Leafs #nhl smut #nhl fic #toronto maple leafs fic

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tpwkjerii · 3 years

Text

strawberry kisses

you and felix have a longstanding tradition of baking the day after finals. usually, it’s the best method of relaxing after long hours of studying. unfortunately, you find yourself rather tense this time — after all, it’s always fun to spend an entire day in a cramped kitchen with your crush, isn’t it?

pairing: lee felix x reader

warnings: fluff and kissing, mild angst, reader likes strawberries (sorry if you’re allergic skdlsd), ex boyfriend (but supportive bestie) minho, reader has low self confidence :(, like two curse words, kisses!!

genre: friends to lovers au, kinda idiots to lovers, mutual pining

word count: 2.9k+

a/n: short fic for Felix hehe

Your eyes glazed over as you reviewed the last response of your final exam of the term. After two long hours of plugging equations you hardly understood into your nearly-dead calculator and speed-writing to the point where you’re sure you’ve bruised your dominant hand, you finally finished. At lightning speed, you gathered your exam papers and submitted them at the front with a quick prayer to the universe.

A few other students followed your rushed pace out of the large lecture hall, all of you eager to finally get out of the stuffy room.

As you stepped out of the packed hall and into the cooling outdoors, you checked your phone, which was filled with texts from the one person you were trying desperately to get out of your head (and miserably failing at that).

felix (strawberry head) <3

5:23 PM

did you finish your chem final ???

hyunjin and i just submitted our video for our dance performance

your editing was very good btw :D

5:35 PM

y/nnnnn you’re taking forever :(

we’re waiting at the quad for you !!

5:40 PM

*i am waiting at the quad for you

the others got too hungry and left, but i’m waiting for you!

pls hurry it’s cold :[

You bit back a laugh at his texts, his heartwarming tone filling you with a familiar fuzzy feeling. You pushed the feeling aside as you texted a reply.

y/n

5:43 PM

be there in 2 :D

You stifled a smile as you rushed towards the quad. Soon enough, you saw Felix and his bright, red-dyed hair (you first noted that it closely resembled a strawberry). The moment your eyes met his, you felt your heart skip a beat and heat spread across your face. This was the common reaction you’ve had for the past few months whenever you see Felix.

He rushed over to you with a giddy smile and his arms outstretched. Quickly, he barrelled into you and pulled you into a tight embrace.

“You took so long,” he whined, his chest vibrating as he spoke.

“I know, I know. ‘M sorry,” you responded, your voice slightly muffled by his shirt. You took a second to enjoy his hold and the comforting warmth that Felix always provided you whenever he was near. Over the past few years, you’ve grown accustomed to the scent of his sweet floral perfume, the feeling of his tight hugs, and the way he played with your fingers when he was bored.

All the things you were fond of were now extreme nuisances in your life. Not because they were annoying or because you disliked Felix, but rather the complete opposite; you were completely, helplessly, and foolishly in love with him.

“You ready to go?” Felix asked suddenly, breaking you out of your thoughts. He brought his arms down from around you, and you looked down at the ground as you nodded, hoping that he didn’t see the intense blush that was spreading from your face to your neck.

You are so fucked for tomorrow.

After an entire night of tossing and turning in anxiety, the next day finally arrived. To say you were nervous was a massive understatement.

The minute you woke up, you began to anxiously clean your apartment while your roommate Ryujin laughed at you. As you wiped down every visible crevice, she made sure to pester you about a “missed spot” or tempt you with sweets.

“You’ve never cleaned this much whenever Felix came over before,” she pointed out with a laugh while you wiped down the kitchen counters for the fourth time.

“What do you mean?” you asked, your voice uncharacteristically high-pitched.

Ryujin scoffed. “It is so obvious that you like Felix, there’s no point in lying to me,” she stated bluntly.

Your hand froze mid-wipe on the counter. You looked over at your blue-haired roommate nervously. “Is it really… that obvious?”

“Yes,” she deadpanned.

You winced and dropped your head onto the smooth stone countertop. “Do you think he’s noticed?” you moaned into your arms.

“If he hasn’t, I will personally pay for his glasses prescription.”

You whined again as you lifted your head up to look directly at Ryujin. “If he’s noticed then why hasn’t he said anything?”

She stood up as she answered, “Not sure but you could always ask him today.”

Your mouth dropped in horror at the suggestion. “I can’t tell him how I feel! That would completely ruin our friendship!”

“So you’d rather continue tip-toeing around him and never get a clear answer?” she questioned, her arms crossed.

“Yes.”

Ryujin sighed and started to collect her things. “You can do whatever you want,” she started as she placed her papers in her backpack, “but I recommend you tell him soon.” She stood up and headed for the door. Just before opening it and leaving you alone with your thoughts until Felix arrived, she turned around and said, “I won’t be home until late, have fun.” With that, she winked and walked out of your shared apartment.

You scoffed at her suggestive tone and stood upright to check the time.

10:08 AM

You gasped. Felix said he was going to arrive at 10:30, but knowing him he would be at least 15 minutes early, meaning you only had 7 minutes to get yourself together!

You cursed and rushed to your bedroom. Switching out of your wrinkled pajamas, you opted for a random hoodie you grabbed out of your closet and jeans. After you changed, you made a beeline for the bathroom and fixed your appearance. You quickly brushed through your hair and washed your face, hoping you removed all remnants of your restless sleep.

Just as you predicted, you heard four distinctive knocks on your front door right at 10:15.

“Coming!” you exclaimed as you rushed out of your bathroom.

Right before you opened the front door, you placed a hand on your beating heart and mumbled words of encouragement to yourself. Then, after deciding that you were probably taking too long, you pulled the door open.

Immediately, Felix, covered in a large hoodie and arms filled with large bags of baking ingredients, greeted you with a large grin. Like every other time, you felt your heart skip a beat when you made eye contact with him.

“Hi,” you said simply, a smile on your face.

“Hi,” he responded. He looked you up and down, asking, “Are you wearing my hoodie?”

You paled and looked down at the large pink hoodie, immediately recognizing it as the one that Felix lent you almost one year ago when he dropped you off at the airport since you forgot yours in the car. Once you got back from your trip, you’d forgotten to give it back to him.

“O-oh,” you stuttered, looking down at the oversized sleeves. “I didn’t even realize,” you continued awkwardly. “You can ha -”

“It’s fine,” he cut you off, the smile never leaving his face. He shrugged. “You look better in it anyways.”

Your mouth dropped and you found yourself unable to respond for a few moments. Felix laughed at your dumbfoundedness and gently pushed you aside to walk into the apartment. Once he set the bags down on the kitchen counters, you returned to your senses and closed the door to walk over to him.

“So, what are we making today?” you asked, trying to keep your voice as level as possible. It wasn’t an easy task to do, considering his proximity to you.

You held your breath as he grabbed your hands and looked into your eyes. “What’s your favorite fruit?” he asked excitedly.

“Er, strawberries?” you answered, tilting your head to the side in mild confusion.

At that, Felix let go of your hands and quickly pulled out a carton of fresh strawberries from one of the bags. You gasped in delight at the sight of the bright fruit and immediately thanked him.

“It’s no big deal,” he responded while sliding the fruits into the fridge. “I’m gonna eat most of the tarts and choco strawberries anyways,” he added with a sneaky laugh.

You scoffed. “You always say that but you always end up giving me the most.” You smirked at him while taking out the baking materials.

“I don’t give it to you,” he countered. “You steal them.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” you told him with a sing-song tone. He laughed from your side, and you swore that you heard actual sparkles, as if he were a fairy, when he did.

You cleared your throat, hoping to rid your mind of distracting thoughts that could be potential problems during the next seven hours that Felix would be at your apartment. “So, master chef Felix,” you started, lowering your voice like a TV show announcer. “What are you going to do first?”

“Well, my fair announcer,” he began, holding up the silicon whisk like a microphone. “I think we should start with preparing the shortbread dough, what about you?”

“Ah, you are the chef. Lead the way,” you responded with a wide smile.

You both laughed together and actually began the baking. Like usual, Felix did most of the work while you played music and assisted from the side. You worked together seamlessly, and soon enough the shortbread cookies were done and strawberry jam cooling to the side.

While you taste-tested the jam, Felix began to whisk the melted chocolate, and you took this time to admire him. You stood at his side, allowing you to admire his side profile.

Felix was easily one of the most beautiful individuals you ever laid your eyes on. But his appearance wasn’t the only part you fell for — he was one of the few people whose inside beauty matched their outside beauty.

Felix was kind, funny, optimistic, and just about every positive adjective you could find in a dictionary. After every failed test, he was there with a cup of strawberry ice cream and a shoulder to cry on. When you landed your first job, he was there to celebrate with you even when your own family wasn’t. And when you and Minho mutually broke up, he was there to give you advice as you coped with the end of your first relationship.

How could you not fall for him?

And sometimes you had the feeling that he liked you back. The touches that would linger for just a few seconds too long, the soft smiles that Chan claimed he only ever gave to you, and his late-night texts all spurned a tiny hopeful fire in you that kept your crush alive.

No matter how many times you tried to get over him and convince yourself that your crush didn’t exist, the tiny voice in your head still spoke. “But what if he likes you back?”

Now, as Felix stood by your side with a soft smile on his face while he whisked the chocolate, that voice screamed louder than ever.

And just as you gained a sliver of courage, the same paralyzing thoughts that have held you back for the past few months returned.

Felix was out of your league in every way. He was social and easily commanded the attention of an entire room with so much as two words. His outward beauty matched his insides, and everyone on campus reached a collective agreement that if angels ever existed and walked among us — Lee Felix was certainly one of them.

And those things were only the tip of the iceberg that is Felix. He was talented, sensitive, supportive, passionate, and everything you could ever ask for and then some.

You then thought back to all the people he rejected - kindly, of course - and how you matched up to them. If Felix didn’t choose to go out with all those beautiful and talented people, what on Earth made you think you would choose you?

At this point, Felix picked up on your sudden silence and how your breaths grew heavy and uneven.

“Are you… alright?” he asked carefully, his own chest beating heavily.

You stared at him, panicked that he caught onto your apprehension. “Um…” you started, trailing off as you met his gaze.

Felix let go of the whisk and grabbed your hands. “You can say whatever you need to.”

“I uh,” you started after a few moments, internally battling yourself to gain courage as you realized that it’s now or never. “I kinda like you,” you admitted quietly, looking down at your intertwined hands anxiously. You waited for him to pull his hand away in disgust and start to kindly reject you like he did to all those other people, but it never came. After a few seconds, his hands still the entire time, you looked up at him with glassy eyes in confusion.

“What?” he finally said, his deep voice softer than ever.

You looked back down at your hands shamefully. “Do I really have to repeat it?” you asked weakly. “I like you, Felix. I have for the past few months and it’s been driving me insane because it feels like my heart’s about to stop dead whenever I see you and I can never think straight when you’re with me. Apparently, it’s been pretty obvious and I really tried my best to get over it so it wouldn’t hurt our friendship.

“Trust me, I really wanted to get over it but I couldn’t, and I know you don’t like me back so it’s ok. I can deal with it on my own and you can just leave a -”

“Y/N,” Felix said suddenly, his voice firm. You looked up, tears rolling down your face as you were sure that he was about to reject you.

“Felix please don’t interrupt me. At least let me finish what I have to say,” you pleaded softly, removing your hands from his.

“Y/N,” he repeated, his voice much gentler. He carefully wiped the tears from your face and took your hands into his again. “Can I say something before you finish?” he requested.

You choked back a sob as you nodded, certain that he was just going to let you down kindly.

“I like you too, Y/N,” he said shyly, a blush spreading across his freckled face.

Your entire body froze.

“I was too scared to admit it because I didn’t think you liked me back,” he continued, the words slowly registering in your mind. “To be honest, I thought you still liked Minho.”

You blushed at his words, thinking back to all the times you would pull Minho, your ex-boyfriend, to the side to talk about Felix these past few months. You didn’t realize how it must have looked to Felix or your other friends.

“I was also… afraid of ruining our friendship, so I’ve just kept it to myself the past two years.”

You gaped at him. “Two years?” you sputtered, causing him to laugh at the way your eyes widened comically. “That’s when we first started uni!”

He shrugged. “What can I say? I was instantly attracted to the way you fought Chan on why you should be allowed to keep the minifridge in your dorm,” he joked.

You blushed at the embarrassing memory, although it wasn’t completely regrettable as it was how you met most of your current friends — including Felix.

“I’m surprised,” you voiced simply. “I didn’t think you would ever like me back.” You breathed out, your muscles relaxing instantly.

Felix grinned again and he moved slowly to envelop you in his arms. He rested his hands on the small of your back and his head on the crook of your shoulder.

“Does this mean that I can take you out on a date?” he whispered.

“Will you promise to stop taking unflattering pictures of me and sending them to me in the middle of the night?” you asked, your head resting against his and arms around him.

He sighed. “Fine,” he answered reluctantly with a whine.

“Then sure,” you responded and pulled your head back to meet his eyes. His eyes shined from the sunlight pouring through the windows and his freckles glimmered like stars across a canvas. Felix was truly beautiful inside and out.

“You have some strawberry jam on your lip,” he said after a few silent moments where you both admired each other.

“Really?” you asked. Your hand moved from his back towards your face, but Felix caught your hand in midair and returned it to its original position.

“I’ll get it,” he murmured with a gentle smile before closing the distance between your lips.

You held your breath as he pressed his soft lips against yours. You instantly recognized the strawberry chapstick he uses and the taste of the shortbread cookies. He swiped his tongue against the corner of your lip, and the sudden sensation caused a shiver to run down your spine.

You brought your hand up to his hair and gently tugged at his dyed locks. Felix brought you closer to him and massaged your back as he deepened the kiss.

When you finally pulled away, your face was burning red and you were completely breathless. Felix was smiling giddily, his arms still around yours.

“I think there’s still some jam left,” he told you, not even giving you a second to respond before he pressed his lips against yours once again. This kiss was much more playful than the last as you giggled against each other in the kiss.

“Did you get it all?” you asked him, your voice reduced to a murmur as he continued kissing your lips.

He hummed, kissing you once and twice in between, before responding, “I don’t think so.”

You laughed against his lips. “Well, I guess you better get it all. I can’t have strawberries stuck on my lips all day.”

He laughed with you, and true to his words, he eventually did get all the strawberry jam off (an extra two hours and an uncountable amount of kisses later).

#lee felix #lee felix x reader #felix stray kids #lee felix fanfic #lee felix imagine #lee felix imagines #skz scenarios #skz #skz fanfic #skz x reader #skz x y/n #stray kids #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids felix #hyunjin #minho

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robinofgothamcity · 3 years

Text

♡ prompt: “i'll make sure never to leave you alone.”

♡ pairing: Baron Zemo x fem reader

♡ lyric inspiration: “you know I’m just a flight away, if you wanted you could take a private plane, los kilometros estamos conectando y me prendes aunque no me estes tocando.”

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / for OBVIOUS reasons, heavy spoiler warning if you are not watching or are planning on watching Falcon and the Winter Soldier. this is kind of based on episodes three and four.

“we might need to call an old friend of mine for help,” Sam told both Bucky and Zemo. Bucky gave him a look of confusion, “she’s a friend of my sisters. before the blip and all that, she was a working college student. she’s really good at being a decoy for things,” Sam explained.

Bucky sighed, not knowing whether to agree with this or not. Zemo had no say in the matter as he was on a very strict leash with Sam so he didn’t bother to say much.

“well, what are we waiting for? if we need to be in Madripoor soon, I think it’s best we get ahead of the game before it gets any later than it already is,” Bucky stated as Sam agreed.

Zemo had been ‘kind’ enough to fly them back to where you currently stayed at.

the four of them touched down in Wisconsin in the later part of the morning. the wind was blowing briskly through the air as they all groaned about the slight cold. Sam was never the one to like the cold in the first place, Bucky for obvious reasons despised the winter climate, and Zemo found the Wisconsin farm scenery to be eye-catching.

“wait, how is she going to help us again?” Zemo asked as Sam put the information of your current house into the GPS. “she’s worked a lot with computers. she became friends with Sarah while she went to school in Louisiana. I think she could be of help considering she’d blend in with the younger crowd without us seeming suspicious,” Sam went into detail.

both Bucky and Zemo were confused on the entire situation but followed Sam’s lead regardless. they ended up in a small town a few hours out of where the plane touched down. your house was surrounded by a bunch of farm land and from the looks of it, you kept up with outside work.

“with her knowledge in computers and being able to blend in with the crowd, she could gather information that neither three of us could get.” Zemo looked up to Sam, “I know Madripoor better than anyone. what gives you the implication that I can’t get the information myself?” he asked.

Sam waved him off as they got to your doorstep. your house looked cozy in comparison to how you lived before the blip. he knocked on the door softly, stepping back almost immediately. it took you a while to answer it but as they heard footsteps, they heard a ‘who is it?’ from the other side of the door.

“it’s Sam.”

you jumped back in surprise. you weren’t expecting to have Sam of all people knocking on your door at this hour. Sarah hadn’t told you that he was even going to come and see you.

“Sam? James?” you asked, immediately playing with the skin on your fingers out of nervousness, “is something wrong? I wasn’t expecting you, nevertheless James here,” you continued as you let them inside. you looked at the third person, confused on who they were, “uh, may I ask who you are?” you questioned.

“that’s Zemo but that isn’t important. we need you for something we’re working on,” you sighed in defeat.

your life pre-blip was as normal as it could possibly be but after the blip, you lost your boyfriend at the time and your family dynamic had completely changed. you were no longer as close with your siblings, you were really never close with your dad to begin with, and your mom was just trying to fit back in as normally as possible without freaking out that something would happen to any of your siblings or yourself.

“there’s a group of people who re-created the super soldier serum and we need help finding out who did it and why,” you immediately whipped your head up to look at Sam, “as in the thing that created Winter Soldier here and Steve?” you exclaimed, a sense of panic coming out as you spoke.

Sam nodded, trying to calm you down before you could deny him all together, “since you still look kind of young and you were getting your degree in computer science, I was hoping you could come with us to Madripoor and scope out the scene while we talk to some people,” he explained.

“Sam, I never even finished my degree. the blip happened before I could graduate and post blip, I haven’t touched a computer to that extent,” you replied. Bucky put his hand on your shoulder, “we really need you. you’re not someone who would catch attention easily and whatever you do remember could still help us in the long run,” he interjected.

as Zemo watched both Bucky and Sam try to persuade you, he could tell you weren’t falling for it but now that he was standing in your kitchen, he could see the pictures of you and your family and probably some friends on your fridge door.

“can I talk to her?” Zemo asked Bucky softly. Bucky gave him a look, almost as if what he said was disgraceful to hear, “why?” he asked back. Zemo pointed to the pictures on the fridge, “because I know how it is to lose family.”

Bucky whispered to Sam about what Zemo had told him and while Sam wanted to refuse, while you were gone making coffee for them, Sam ultimately let him. “do not blow this for us. you’re on thin ice and if you screw us up, you’ll be back in that German prison cell before you could say your name,” Zemo put his hands up in defeat as he slowly walked into the kitchen.

“need help with that coffee?” Zemo asked. you turned around, shaking your head no as you looked through the cabinets, “no, I’m okay. thanks for asking. I just need to find the coffee before meeting you three out there again,” you replied.

Zemo reached into the pouch inside his jacket and pulled out a brown bag, “coffee from Germany. it’s the best you’ll get,” he said as you grabbed the bag and opened it up. the strong smell of coffee hit your nose as you coughed from it, “where did you get this?” you asked.

Zemo laughed, shaking it off, “I’m a Baron, ( your name ). my family has a lot of things,” you nodded, not quite understanding what he meant by that but agreeing regardless, “listen, I know you’re hesitant on going with us to Madripoor but we really need your help. you’d be doing the world a favor by it,” he elaborated.

you remained silent for a moment, “what has the world done for me? I lost my boyfriend, the guy I thought I was going to be with forever. my family and I don’t even talk to each other anymore so why should I help it out?” you responded, not caring if Sam or Bucky heard. Zemo put his hand on your cheek before sighing, “I lost my family in Sokovia. I know what that feels like more than anyone in the world and look at me now,” he replied.

Sam and Bucky looked at each other nervously as they watched you try and contain your tears. they couldn’t exactly tell what Zemo was telling you but they could sense you were actually debating the idea now.

“did you ever move on? how did you move on is what I should be asking,” you asked quietly. Zemo stayed silent for a moment, not knowing whether he should answer genuinely or not, “being alone for as long as I was makes you come to terms with a lot of things,” he replied.

you gulped, trying to push down whatever tears wanted to come out.

“I think I’m over what happened pre-blip but I guess what’s stopping me from fully moving on is that we’ll never be the people we were before hand. what would I get out of helping all of you again?” you asked Zemo, now blushing at how close you were with him, “finding out where the serum is coming from and possibly having peace of mind,” he replied.

you put the cups down and walked back into the living room, “you both owe me something. I don’t know what it is yet but you do,” you told Sam as he and Bucky sighed in relief, “give me a few minutes to gather my things,” you told them before heading upstairs.

“what did you tell her?” Bucky asked as Zemo watched you walk upstairs with an almost mesmerized look, “nothing any of you would understand,” he responded before sitting down on the worn out couch.

all of you touched down in Madripoor hours later. you had chugged back to melatonin gummies and passed out the entire flight back to Madripoor. you weren’t exactly a fan of planes so to be inside of one for hours made you extremely nervous.

you were sent off to get some information while they went off in their own direction to get something else they needed. you were told to get back to them before dusk so after you got the bits of information they needed, you met them back at the car.

“your name is now Noel, you’re a friend of ours and that’s all you need to know,” Zemo said as he handed you a fake id. you took it as Zemo relied Sam’s fake information to him, laughing at the nickname he was given, “high-town is beautiful,” you whispered to Zemo. he nodded in agreement, “indeed. we should visit it again,” he replied.

as all of you arrived to the club/bar, you heard the music blaring from outside and figured this is what Sam meant when he said you’d blend in with the crowd. you sighed before plastering a smile on your face and dancing your way inside.

“we should get some drinks,” Zemo told all of you. you nodded as you followed him to the bar. the small altercation between the bartender and Sam had you clenching your eyes shut as he cut up the snake, “please, that’s so disgusting,” you said, trying not to gag.

Zemo could see the uncomfortable look on your face and unknowingly hid you behind him. he knew that small protective feeling from anywhere. the last time he had that feeling was with his wife. Zemo didn’t want you to see anything that made you mildly uncomfortable.

within a few seconds, Zemo had shielded you immediately as an altercation brokeout with Bucky and a few others. you looked at Sam and Zemo in fright as Zemo made sure to keep you safe while Sam apologized for it. he knew you weren’t even mildly used to these kinds of scenes and if he was being honest, he knew in a way this could be traumatizing you.

“Selby is ready to see you now,” you heard someone say. you followed behind Sam and Zemo as he had Bucky right next to him. as all of you walked inside the room, you could see the woman immediately look at Bucky and you a bit more interestingly.

“you know you can’t just walk in here and demand to see me,” she said to Zemo. he nodded as Selby looked to Sam before giving him a backhanded compliment, “and can I ask who that is?” Selby asked as she pointed to you.

you stood stiff as a board as Sam tried to speak up but was interrupted almost immediately by Zemo, “my wife,” he said, now more softly as he touched your had. Selby chuckled, “you wouldn’t want to make a trade for her, would you?” Selby asked.

Sam immediately went on the defense as Zemo denied it, making sure you weren’t in her plane view anymore. Sam made sure that you were okay before returning back to the conversation at hand and within a few mere seconds, the once calm conversation turned deadly as Sam’s phone had went off and caused the domino affect to follow. Selby was now dead and all of your phones pinged off with money now on your heads for killing Selby.

“see! this why I didn’t want to do this!” you screamed to them as you chucked your heels to the side and slipping on your trusty Crocs that you had put inside of you bag, “now you’ve dragged me into things I have no idea about,” you continued to scream as you followed Zemo out the door.

he could tell you were on the verge of a panic attack as all of you ran in separate directions. Sam had given you a gun to protect yourself with. you weren’t the one to use a gun for anything so to even be carrying it around terrified the shit out of you.

you could tell that if you didn’t even cause a commotion to get the people to disperse, you’d be dead in a few minutes. you shot at the air, hoping no one got hurt in the process as everyone ducked for cover. you let out a shout as the bullets rang off into the air, making you drop the gun as soon as your rounds were finished.

all of you landed in some alley as you stood up against the building, trying to catch your breaths in the process. Zemo immediately asked if you were okay and reassured you that you were no longer in harm. you were safe....for the moment; however, he knew that wouldn’t last as long as he’d hope as he knew that you were now apart of their vigilante group whether you wanted to be or not.

after you met the infamous Sharon Carter, she had brought all of you to her place. she could sense that you did not belong in the group as she noticed how panicked you were by the entire situation. you hadn’t said a word after introducing yourself to her and frankly, she was concerned for you.

“I have clothes upstairs you could change into. I get the feeling you aren’t in the mood to party so you could stay on the second level until it ends.”

you thanked her, grabbing your bag and walking up the stairs. you landed inside of a room as the clothes were inside of the closet. you quickly slipped on the athleisure wear and sat on the bed, trying to calm yourself down from the previous events.

“you okay?” you heard Zemo say from the door. you didn’t respond as you remained looking at your shaky hands, “hey,” he whispered, bending down on one knee looking at you.

“do I look okay?” you replied a bit hastily, “I have money on my head for something I didn’t even do. I’m a criminal now, Zemo. I had no intentions of ever becoming what I am now. I just don’t understand why any of you would do this to someone who was still recovering from the blip!” you exclaimed as tears ran down your face.

Zemo sighed, seeing the look of hurt, distrust, and panic all over your face. he had no idea you’d be this upset with the entire situation but seeing as you looked at the text that had your face with the wanted sign over it, he could tell you were realizing the severity of the situation.

“what do I even tell my mom? my siblings?” you asked, “they have no idea of any of this and now I’m some criminal with a target over my head.” Zemo grabbed your hand and rubbed it softly with his thumb, “I know and after all of this is over, you’ll be free to do whatever you want. you just have to stick through this. we need you here,” he replied.

you growled, “and what do I get out of it? trauma? therapy again?” you retorted. Zemo shook his head as you unknowingly slipped to his side and cried to his shoulder, “possibly but at least you’ll have people by your side this time. I’ll make sure you’ll never have to be by yourself again,” he said.

you looked at him through tear stained eyes and nodded as he brought you in for an embrace. you were comforted by the cologne he was wearing as he sang softly in your ear. it sounded like some lullaby you would’ve heard as a kid.

“promise?” you asked him. Zemo nodded, bending down to give you a kiss. you quickly reciprocated the kiss and had Zemo hold you close as the two of you remained kissing each other, “promise,” he murmured against your lips.

from the crack of the door, Sam and Bucky wanted to interrupt you in order to kill Zemo for even thinking of kissing you but from down the hall, Sharon warned that it wasn’t any of their business to do such a thing.

Sam knew that he had all the consequences falling on him if something happened to you and being that you were now a wanted woman for the killing of Selby, the very least he could do is let you have this with Zemo. he might’ve hated his guts like it was nobodies business but for the time being, you were calm and not trying to kill him or Bucky.

#marvel #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #helmut zemo #zemo imagine #zemo x reader #zemo x you #zemo x y/n #falcon and the winter soldier #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws #tfatws imagine #tfatws x reader #sam wilson #bucky barnes #falcon #winter soldier #baron zemo

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tellmenauineo · 3 years

Text

colored by you

pairing: mingyu x reader, vernon x reader

genre: soulmate!au, angst, fluff, smut, comedy (at some points)

warnings: mentions of alcholol and weed, language, unprotected sex

summary: eventually, we fall in love with people who the universe destined us to. but there are complications sometimes.

word count: 11k (i refuse to comment)

a/n: tell me what you think even if you found it bad 🤧🤧 i’m in NEED of feedback,, stay safe during the pandemic and feel free to talk to me!! i’m sorta back 🤠🤠

“I'd prefer if you showed more enthusiasm about it. Success is never an accident,” your mother reads you a lesson, a reproach can be heard in her voice. Your sigh, wishing this conversation to be over so you’ll finally be able to hang up your phone.

“Some people aren't built happy, or cheerful, or forever excited, you know,” you mumble. “I'm satisfied with my academical success – but maybe it isn't a thing I want to achieve now. I don't know.”

“Of course, people aren't built happy – that’s why the Universe made a soulmate for each of us. To make us happy. That's how it works.”

“Uh-huh.”

“One day you’ll understand,” your mother continues. “And you will be happier, happier than ever. Your time will come.”

You won't understand.

The Universe made a soulmate for each of us. The Universe made sure we’ll be aware who is the one, the one, as your mother says, who’ll make you happier and complete, too. It's pretty simple. First words addressing you that you would hear from your soulmate get imprinted on the skin of your ribcage. Close to your heart.

The mechanism of The Universe is perfect. But, sometimes, even perfect-made things get broken.

You won't understand because you already have words tattooed on your skin.

“I guess, we can say love is an accident, isn't it?” you say. “Anyway, I gotta go, mom. I'll call you tomorrow?”

“Sure. Take care of yourself. And don't stay up late.”

“We both know I'm gonna stay up late,” you smile. “Bye!”

It happened in cold January, four months ago.

“Shrimp Pad Thai?” Chan asks you.

“Mm, yes,” you say, fluttering your eyelashes innocently. Chan gasps and raises his eyebrows in a fake disbelief, but you don't let him open his mouth to say something very sarcastic about you and your habits in eating. “I'm your customer, where are your manners? What if I leave?”

“Then you'll leave and won't have our Shrimp Pad Thai which you order five days a week,” he shrugs.

“I'm older than you – pay me respect!”

“I do? Always? Our very important customer who always eats the same,” he playfully sing-songs and you roll your eyes, trying your best not to give him a smile.

“Go and get us food already,” Momo says. “Both of you better not play on my nerves when I'm hungry.”

When the orders are made and Chan leaves to the kitchen, you get up from your seat.

“I'm going to wash my hands,” you announce, and your friend nods at it.

On your way to the restrooms you recognize a bunch of boys sitting at the window booth. Kim Mingyu, Wen Junhui and Jeon Wonwoo – all of them are in Soonyoung’s group of friends. Wonwoo smiles and waves his hand and you return the gesture. You nod at Junhui and Mingyu – who looks incredibly soft and cute in his light-gray hoodie with his rose cheeks – seems that the ramen he is eating is too spicy for him. He gives you a little “hey”, smiling at you, and you immediately feel how your own cheeks turn blushy. To prevent your embarrassment in front of them, you try to speed up, but, suddenly, collide with someone.

“Uh, I can feel my chilli sauce dripping.”

You look up at the source of the voice, Chwe Hansol, the new Soonyoung’s roommate you heard a lot about (and you’re aware that Soonyoung not just can’t stop telling embarrassing stories about you to his roommate, but also shows him your pictures, because yes, in Soonyoung’s words, it’s a crime if you don’t put on display your best friend and your wonderful, a movie-worthy, friendship) and, apparently, there is no bottle of chilli sauce in his hands. A smug smile is playing on his lips and his chocolate eyes are glistening with a mischief.

“Nice try,” you don't hide a hint of a wipe in your voice as you start moving towards the restrooms – you swear a trip to them never took that long.

You catch Hansol's gaze on you on the way back to your and Momo’s booth and you have nothing to do but narrow your eyes at him, making him smile even wider.

“He's cute, though. The Hansol guy I mean,” Momo concludes after you finished your dinner. “But no shit they're loud.”

You cast an eye at their boost. Mingyu is the loudest and the most talkative among them – but, somehow, looking at him telling something, wildly gesticulating, makes your heart melt a little.

Stupid, you think, it's almost close to feeling happy.

You spot the tattoo when you go to take a shower that night.

Your heart sinks at the sight of the words.

“Uh, I can feel my chilli sauce dripping.”

You don't tell anyone.

“I can take it as an offend, you know,” Soonyoung whines. “You've been turning down my home party offers for more than a month!”

“Um, you haven’t had any,” you say.

It’s true – you try your best to avoid Hansol, and it works even despite the fact he lives with your best friend (sometimes you’re wondering how Soonyoung and Hansol, the pair of complete opposites, rub along okay together, but maybe opposites indeed attract?). You’re not fond of the idea you reduced all your social interactions, but at least you do your huge amount of homework in time – that’s why Soonyoung once called you a homework-doing machine.

Yes, that’s lame.

“It’s because you didn’t come!”

You’re clearly under pressure. You can crack under it a little bit.

Just a little bit.

“Because I-” you forget what you want to say to explain yourself. Or, rather, to fudge up an excuse to trick Soonyoung and keep staying from Hansol as long as possible. “It’s complicated. Besides, your roommate sticks at home for days on end, and if I want to spend time with you I want us to be alone,” you point at him with your pen.

His eyes are getting wider and wider with each millisecond and finally he gasps,

“Are you in love with me?!”

Well.

“What if I am?” you challenge. At the end of the day, that’s the words of the woman who has nothing to lose.

“I-” it’s Soonyoung, who is under pressure right now. “I love you, you know it-”

“But, there’s always a but,” you sigh in a fake manner. “I understand. Maybe I haven’t yearned it yet,” you place your hand over his, and his eyes are glued to your hands. “But, Soonyoung, I want to hear ‘horanghae’ from you someday. Will my dream come true?”

He lifts up his eyes to you. Soonyoung’s known you for over a decade and he clearly can say you’re on the verge of bursting into a hearty laugh despite your dying attempts to keep your face straight. He snaps his hand away and stands up.

“Yah! You betrayed me!” he points a finger at you. “Yah!” he continues in a voice that is a few octaves higher than his usual. “You are gonna pay for your betrayal!”

“Sure thing,” you manage to say through your laugh. You’re well aware that almost all eyes in the campus cafeteria are on you, but it was quite common when the two of you were together. “I’ll see you in court, horangi.”

You wish you were in court.

Instead, you’re in Soonyoung and Hansol’s kitchen, mixing the sickest possible cocktail ever – and you’re not proud of yourself.

“Why it looks like wiper fluid but tastes like lab alcohol?” Seungkwan asks, wrinkling his nose in disgust. Your mirror his expression.

“Um, the creator would like to take to his own grave the secret receipt of this… shit,” you say.

By the creator you mean Soonyoung. You’re on duty tonight – it’s Hansol and Seokmin’s double birthday party and you’re in charge of everything – your best friend had no mercy for the cafeteria joke.

“Don’t tell me the upcoming birthday cakes have the same creator,” the boy says, patting his blond locks back into place. You assume he was dancing, or, more likely, slamming in the living room, while you hide in the kitchen, still avoiding Seokmin co-star of this night, Hansol.

“Nah, I ordered them in the bakery. Customized ones!”

“You should’ve asked me to bake the cakes,” the third person enters the room, and your heart skips a bit. Mingyu walks towards you and Seungkwan and leans on the counter, still having his eyes on you. “I need to improve my baking skills.”

You feel how your cheeks flushing up. Shit, you curse in your head, he just made an appearance and you’re already turning into mush.

“Next time maybe?” you ask, your voice is much more gentle than usual. “Whose birthday is next?”

“Mine,” smiles Mingyu. “But I don’t want to hold a party this year – wanna share a dinner tete-a-tete with someone.”

“Such a great plan! Except for one thing – you don’t have ‘someone’,” Seungkwan rolls his eyes.

“I’ll find one,” Mingyu’s words are steady but his movements are not. His right elbow slips off the counter, and the boy hisses. “I’m already working on this.”

“Sure thing, tiger,” you smile despite feeling that something is scratching your guts in your belly – disappointment? jealousy? sadness? Maybe all of them and maybe none.

You have a soulmate for fuck’s sake and it’s not Mingyu.

“Whatever,” Seungkwan mutters. “I’m going back to the party and I strongly recommend you to stop hiding here,” he says, looking you right in the eyes. “He won’t bite you, you know?”

“What are you talking about?!” you exclaim, but Seungkwan only shrugs.

“Have no idea.”

You want to follow him, take him by the shoulders and ask about everything he knows about – did Hansol tell him about you? Seems so. Has he, Seungkwan, launched the making of the two of you a couple campaign? If yes, you’re doomed.

Mingyu stops you from storming out of the kitchen – you’re back to the reality with his warm hand wrapped around your wrist and you turn to him in surprise, your cheeks already flushed.

“Yes?” you manage to mumble.

“Who are you hiding from?” he asks, and you almost hear concern in his voice. Or maybe you imagine it all.

“Um- no one? He’s being delusional like always, you know?”

“You sure?’ his hand is getting lower, and unexpectedly you find your fingers intertwining with his. Mingyu’s hand is much larger and warmer than yours, his hold isn’t tight, but it magically makes you forget about the whole the soulmate and his wingman thing.

It makes you forget about everything except for this particular moment – Mingyu’s dark eyes on you, your hand in his and the echo of the music playing in the living room. His bronze skin’s glowing in the dim kitchen light (one of the bulbs is dead and neither Soonyoung or Hansol wants to do something about it), his face is innocent and the only thing you can think about – your uncontrollable desire to kiss off two worry lines between his perfect eyebrows.

You don’t even notice that you’re holding your breath, too afraid to interrupt the moment.

“I’m sure,” you whisper and he nods. Mingyu probably can hear the beating of your racing heart, and you don’t mind at all – you would eagerly tell him how he makes you feel if he wants to know.

He leans closer to you, his breath is tickling the soft skin of your cheek and you hear him ask,

“May I?”

But before you can nod, Seokmin’s piercing voice, like a bolt out of the blue, is calling your name,

“Soonyoung’s trying to kiss me!”

He is louder than any bomb, you think, and that’s enough to take you out of the trance. You slowly turn to him, letting go of Mingyu’s hold on your wrist.

“It’s his way to wish you a happy birthday,” you negotiate, but Seokmin’s gaze is wandering between your and Mingyu’s bodies. His hand follows his eyes, gesturing at the two of you.

“Are you-”

“No, no, no,” you cut him off.

“Man, you need me to get the thing squared away?” Mingyu sounds irritated. You turn your head to steal a look of him. You never saw him like that – at least, not with his friends. Even when his team was defeated at the bowling a month or so ago he seemed worn out, but no hint of irritation on his face – just an exhausted smile combined with a self-mockery behavior. That night you almost regretted saying your wrist was injured so you spent the whole game sipping bubble teas instead of helping your team from sinking to the bottom.

(Jeonghan didn’t buy that spectacular performance, by the way)

“I came to complain?” he looks at you, the eyes so innocent, calling for help, so you smile in response – it’s always like this with Seokmin – the boy can melt even stone hearts.

“Let me check on him,” you say to Seokmin, and he eagerly nods. You pat on Mingyu’s right forearm, your fingers stay on his hard bicep for a little too long, and it makes you lick your lips. “And if he needs to get into bed, I expect some help from you, Mingyu.”

His face softens, and he chuckles, closing his eyes for a second.

“Let’s get it then.”

“I ain’t leaving till I help you with this,” Mingyu says, referring to the apartment that looks like a battlefield (of beer pong). “You already look tired.”

“I’m tired,” you admit. “But you have classes like in…” you check your watch. “…four hours.”

“I’ll sit in the back of the classroom,” seeing the question in your eyes, he adds. “I’ll catch some sleep, don’t worry.”

“Sounds stupid, but I guess nothing would change your mind,” you give up, and a proud smile appears on his face. “The living room is yours then,” you give him an evil smile, your hand lands on his firm chest, patting it twice. “Have fun!”

When you step into the kitchen, a sigh of disappointment leaves your lips, despite your vain attempt to suppress it.

Hansol sits in the white plastic chair, mindlessly scrolling through whichever app is it’s feed. He looks up at you, but he next second his eyes are back on the screen.

Your body feels stiff, like you’re made of wood, but you force yourself to approach the counter. The desire to disappear is so strong that you find yourself not breathing at all – like if you make less noises, the more Hansol is unaware you’re in the same room with him.

You grab a handful of orange peels to throw in the trash can under the sink when you hear Hansol voice, “Why didn’t you throw out all of them?” You turn to the boy, cheeks already red, and anger is bubbling in your stomach. It doesn’t go unnoticed by him, and he lets a hoarse laugh.

“I’m joking, jeez. No need to sulk.”

You don’t return his smile, instead turning away from him to take the leftovers, and say,

“It couldn’t fit in my hand.”

He coos at your words, and you feel stupid.

“Soonyoung was right. You’re an absolute doll.”

“Not impressed,” you roll your eyes, but you feel no confidence in your voice. You face Hansol again, a mischievous glint in his big eyes can be spotted even from across the kitchen. “Your eyes are red,” you notice. “Are you stoned?”

“Maybe so,” he yawns, stretching out in the chair that is about to crack under his weight at any minute. “I don’t mind you tucking me in, though. You seem to be a pro.”

“Well, don’t overdo it,” you say. “The scientists say weed makes people stupid.”

“And affects their memory,” he adds. “But it makes me copy.”

“With what?”

Hansol shrugs and his gaze falls to his knees. He radiates hesitation, and you gulp the pulse in your throat, afraid to hear the truth.

“With me being avoided by my own soulmate like I’m sorta of a plague? Sorta.”

A wave of pure heat that feels like a fever, a bad fever, runs through your body. The whole soulmate thing was supposed to be a blessing, but it feels like a curse. Without thinking, you pathetically mumble,

“I thought you don’t care.”

You really did. For the last few weeks you’ve been living in the bubble made of your own sorrows, disappointments, and self-pity, and the thought of what Hansol feels and thinks about it never crossed your mind.

“Whatever,” he says. “I got your point.”

Hansol doesn’t wait for the unspoken words that are stuck in the back of your throat, ringing in your ears over and over as you watch him leaving the kitchen. He stops at the doorframe with his hand in his dark locks – it’s so odd to see him not wearing a beanie – and slowly turns to you.

“Leave this shit to Soonyoung,” he says.

“Okay,” you mutter.

He calls your name, shooting the arrow of guilt right into your heart.

“Goodnight.”

“Night.”

When Mingyu returns to ask where he can find another bag for trash, you cling to the boy’s chest, and skipping all the questions on the tip of his tongue, Mingyu clasps his arms around you. His chin is snuggling upon your head and you feel pressure inside of the bubble reducing a little.

But a tremendous guilt envelops you with each minute.

Momo stares at your figure as you sit across her – your hair cascading down onto your hunched shoulders, your face is covered with your hands, and the girl only huffs.

“Should I expect some fake sobs?”

You spare a fiery glance at her, but she just waves you off in dismisal. Momo doesn’t even trying to hide her irritation with you – the first thing she asked you after you finally had decided to spill the whole situation to her was ‘Could you have taken any longer to tell me?” and you can’t blame her.

“Yah, leave these tricks for your future sweetheart Sollie. I’m not buying it.”

“He is not my future sweetheart,” you argue. “It doesn’t work!”

“Because you never gave it a chance,” she isn’t convinced, and her stern tone makes you consider the words more carefully.

“He hates me now!”

“First, you deserved it. No offense. Second, he seems like a crackhead, such people don’t hate other people, they just don’t care about them.”

“Don’t talk about him like that!” you exclaim, and her face breaks into a triumphant smile. “What?”

“Look at you, already defending your soulmate,” she says in a saccharine voice. “Ask him out and fall in love. Choose life. Choose a loveseat coach.”

“Isn’t it from Trainspotting movie?” you question, narrowing your eyes.

“And what about it?” she huffs once again. “It doesn’t make me wrong. It always starts with a crush. Just let it happen.”

A crush, huh? A crush that makes your heart beats harder; that sends you floating in your daydreams; that makes you the happiest person in the whole universe, but at the same time has the power to make you sadder than the most distant and loneliest star from the Sun?

Just like the one you have on Mingyu?

Momo still doesn’t know how you feel about the tall, black-haired boy, and you aren’t ready to tell her the truth. Partly because you want to protect this thing from the outer world, make it special, make it a secret that can be kept by the two only, and, partly because you’ll face the wall of misunderstanding. You could fool around with the boys before, but now you’re certain with the one who is destined for you. And you can’t – you shouldn’t – seek for another lover. It’s wrong.

The ability to make all your problems yourself will never fail to amaze you.

“Fine,” you say through gritted teeth. “If you’re so smart.”

“I could’ve been your mother, though. You should follow my every word.”

“Momo, we literally were born in the same decade,” you sigh, but the girl has no intention to follow any of your words.

[mingyyuu 17:13] it’s so cold today!! stay inside 🖤

[you 17:14] too late :// plans!!

[mingyyuu 17:16] any plans for tomorrow?

[you 17:16] not yet

[mingyyuu 17:17] now you have some!

The boy continues to type, but you have to put the phone in the back pocket of your jeans – you’re awkwardly shifting your weight from one foot to the other at the doorstep, not able to say anything – even a small ‘hello’.

“Soonyoung’s at the dance practice,” Hansol breaks the silence.

“I know his schedule better than he does,” you can’t help but roll your eyes. “I came for your soul.”

Hansol raises his brows, his eyes never leave yours as he steps aside to let you in. The boy helps you with your jacket, and you mutter a small ‘thank you’, hoping he’ll take the initiative, even despite the fact it’s you who came to talk.

“How are you doin’?” maybe it’s a soulmate thing to read each other’s mind? You look at Hansol and you have a feeling that you’ll never be able to go through the guard around him and straight to his head. His expression is neutral, and you admit that he doesn’t even need to try look beautiful.

“Nothing much,” you response. “What ‘bout you?”

“Okay. Wanna drink something?”

“A pepsi please?”

“We only have a few cans of coke, do you wanna?”

You already feel strange of that crazy amount of questions for the beginning – the situation becomes more and more awkward that you’re able to feel the pressure of the air in the room. Your temples pulse a little, threating a headache.

“Nah, I’m fine then,” you say, taking a deep breath. “I came here to say I’m sorry and-”

“And?”

“Do you think we should be together?”

“It how it works,” he lets out a dry laugh. Hansol looks down to your face, his hand reaches out to stroke your shoulder. “Hey, you okay?”

The grip on your temples is too tight to bear, and you let out a heavy pant.

“My head hurts,” you explain, squeezing your eyes shut – the light is too bright.

“You need to lie down,” Hansol says. “It’s probably because the temperature difference between inside and outside. I’ll bring painkillers to Soonyoung’s bedroom.”

You nod, heading off to the bedroom. What a great wat to talk - show up at someone’s doorstep just to say you have a headache. Great. Not bothering yourself with discarding your clothes, you collapse stomach-down onto the bed without removing the cover, your face is buried in the soft material.

“Shit, you’ll suffocate if you stay like this,” Hansol’s deep voice wafts on your ears. You slowly lean on your elbows to steal a glance at him. After placing the glass of water and the blister of painkillers at the night stand, he gets down on his haunches, his eyes at the same level as yours. You stay like this for some time, not saying a word, mesmerized by his face.

“What did you do before I came?” you ask out of sudden. Hansol seems to be taken aback with your question.

“Tried to make some music,” he gawks, blinking at you.

“Really?” you ask in a low voice.

“Mostly checked the mic with some ‘yeah’s’ and ‘yo’s’”, he admits, an amusing laugh escapes his mouth. “I’ll try to do something while you’re resting, good?”

You nod you head and smile at him. He gently squeezes your shoulder and stands up. Before he disappears out of the bedroom, you say,

“Do you have any siblings?”

He turns to you, leaning back against the wall.

“Yeah. I have a little sister. You?”

You shake your head no and he nods.

“But it was easy to guess you’re not the only child, though,” it’s difficult to see his face in the darkness, but your eyes never leave him.

“How so?”

“You offer a compromise when it's unnecessarily,” you sniggle. “A man of settled habits.”

You see his wide smile in the dark.

You force your eyes open and sit up in the bed, your hair disheveled and slightly damp at the back of your neck. Headache has gone, at least for now, but your throat feels dry. When you come to the kitchen, you see the note in Hansol’s infamous unsteady handwriting left on the counter:

you can find pepsi in the fridge!

You smile at the gesture and inside you sense warmth.

You knock at Hansol’s bedroom door twice and after the boy calls out for your entry, you slip through the door.

Hansol sits at the table, bobbing his head in time with the song that hums from the speakers. His eyes are glued to his laptop, the headphones rest above his ears.

“Does the work go smoothly?” you ask, sitting at the corner of his bed. He turns to face you; a soft smile is playing on his lips.

“Yeah, it’s okay. There are many things that I think I’m lacking in, but I work on them,” he says in a serious tone. “But I’ve finally finished the song that had been haunting me for weeks.”

“Oh, that’s great!” you beam at him.

“Your snoring from the next room inspired me,” he places his hand over his heart. “I’ll be forever grateful for that.”

You lightly kick his calf, and the boy laughs. Rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes, he draws his attention back to you.

“Feel better?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you answer. Nodding, Hansol notices your gaze focusing on the screen of his laptop. There’re the unknown for you tools placed on his table, except for the microphone, of course, and you’re wondering what kind of music he’s into.

“Wanna hear it?” he asks, once again showing his amazing ability to read your mind.

“Yes!” you hearty nod. “Want my headache to be back.”

Hansol rolls his eyes, muttering a small ‘sure’ under his breath, and places the mouse cursor over the play button. The speakers are small, but even despite it you sense the music vibrate through your body. The beat is harsh, his voice is piercing, and it feels like the most Hansol’s thing he could’ve ever done, but at the same time you’ve got an inkling that the tune and the lyrics were created by his mysterious twin.

“You really made this?” your eyes are wide and your hand clutches hold of his wrist.

“Yeah,” he hums nervously, bringing his free hand to rub at the back of his head.

“It’s good! I can’t believe you haven’t signed a ten-million dollars contract yet!”

“You heard just one song,” he smiles in a protest. “Thanks anyway.”

“I’m right, though,” you say, your hand leaving his as you smile at him. “You should be a star! I can’t say what I liked about it ‘cause I don’t know anything about music, but the whole thing is perfect!”

He looks up to you, your cheeks flushed with passion and your eyes glisten as candles burn bright, and it brings a proud smile on his lips.

“You’re beautiful,” he blurts.

“You’re beautiful too,” your words are sincere, filled with pure appreciation you have for this melted chocolate eyed boy. The idea of you frightened of meeting him a few hours ago seems like a pure absurd right now – when the two of you sit that close to each other, you having a string of questions to ask him about his life, interests, hopes and dreams, and on your tongue the whole story of your life is tingling to be uttered at the same time.

“It was unexpected,” he chuckles. “Thanks again.”

“Thanks for the pepsi,” you return. “I thought you had only coke?”

“Um, I went to the convenience store across the street while you were asleep,” he says, his eyes are wandering on the wall. You can hardly take a breath.

“You shouldn’t have,” you say.

“It’s not a big deal,” he shrugs. Nodding, you slip off his bed and go toward the window. Leaning your forehead against the cool glass, you take a deep breath.

“Is Soonyoung still at the practice?” you ask, your voice is low.

“I guess,” Hansol perches at the windowsill. “I kinda lost track of time.”

You feel the heat his body radiates. Theoretically, you think, you find him somewhat sexy, really manly. His long scraggy neck, broad shoulders, a spectacular torso you can notice even under his oversized t-shirts, and athletic thighs. A month ago, your informant told you that Hansol barely shows up in the gym, and you wonder if the boy was gifted with capability of being perfect without even trying.

And still, he isn’t Mingyu, who makes you feel being in love.

You want to tell Mingyu the truth about your wrong destiny, your aching heart that can be healed with his smile only, and the feeling of your stomach filled with butterflies. You want him to hold your hand, pushing all the doubts and fears away, and make you his. His, despite the cruel joke The Universe played on you.

You think, you have a feeling, he would understand it, because he believes in strength of choice. Mingyu is in a constant state of moving forward, overcoming all obstacles he might face.

Would it be the first time when he stops?

You and Hansol both stay silent till the whole apartment echoes with Soonyoung’s ringing voice.

“Woah, I like the pictures!” Mingyu approves with a hum, adjusting something on his camera. “They’re perfect.”

“Because they’re pictures of me or because it’s you who took them?” you smile, a playful glint in your eyes as you nudge him.

“Let me think,” the boy stops in his tracks, his brows furrow in a fake manner, indicating he is absorbed in his thoughts. “Both.”

“Wow,” you play along, shaking your head and pressing your lips together. “Groundbreaking.”

He giggles and slides his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

“Wish I could tickle you right now, bit your jacket doesn’t give a chance.”

You shove off his hand and see a small pout forming on his plush lips.

“It’s my protection from pervs like you, Mingyu,” you smile innocently, casting sheeps eyes on him.

“Pervs don’t ask for a permission,” he opposes matter-of-factly. You raise your brows at him in question, and it doesn’t take long for him to explain. “Let me kiss you.”

You raise your head at Mingyu to see him smiling down at you with shining eyes, his cheeks are glowing from the frosty air.

“Go ahead,” you smile, and he leans down and kiss you. His lips are warm and sweet, and you never expect to feel care through a kiss as his mouth is covering yours. His hand cups your cheek while the other is placed tightly at the base of your neck. You trace your tongue against his lower lip, his tongue is eager to meet yours. You tease the inside of his mouth, and Mingyu lets out a small groan, which is enough to bring you to senses, and you break the kiss.

“We’re outside, Guy,” you softly remind him, your grip at his forearms is loosen.

“And so?” he whines, tugging at your sleeves to keep you body close to him.

“And we’re late,” you try to reason, but frankly speaking, you better would have stayed in the previous position you shared with Mingyu than going anywhere. “Let’s go. The sooner we start, the sooner we leave.”

The idea of karaoke night seemed promising, to say at least, but with Seungkwan occupying the microphone and Seokmin taking the guise of being his bodyguard, preventing any attempt of borrowing the tool out of his hands, ebullience faded into despair.

Jun is scrolling through his phone, and you find it okay; Soonyoung is busying himself with fourth bowl of ramen in a row, and it begins to worry you; Jihoon is yawning in thirsty eight second intervals, and the fact of you really counting begins to worry you; Mingyu’s playing with your hands, his head rests against your shoulder, you find it normal too.

You toy with his dark hair and lower yourself to whisper in his ear.

“Take me out.”

“Your wish is my command,” Mingyu smiles with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. He straightens up off the sofa and extends his hand to you. You stretch out your own hand and place it in Mingyu’s warm palm.

After wrapping everyone, except for Seungkwan who is too absorbed in the singing and waves the two of you off in dismissal, for a goodbye hug, you go downstairs to put the clothes on.

“Stop staring,” you say to Mingyu, catching his gaze in the mirror, a smile parts your lips. You pull up the hood of your jacket and turn to the boy.

“Can’t help it,” he admits, reaching out and tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His thumb is stroking your cheek gently, and he leans to steal a kiss from your lips.

“Oh, shit,” Seungkwan says, puckering his face into a frown. “Came to say my goodbye, but this,” he gestures at the two of you.

“Grow up,” Mingyu shrugs his shoulders. Seungkwan’s glare bores a hole right through your head, and you can only silently pray for him to not allow his anger upstage his reason.

“Seungkwan, please,” you say. “Let’s talk about it later.”

“Sure,” the younger boy rolls his eyes. “It’s not me who you should talk to, though.”

“What’s the problem?” Mingyu groans in frustration.

“I don’t know. What’s your problem?” Seungkwan scoffs, shifting his gaze from Mingyu to you and back to Mingyu again.

“It’s none of your business,” you snap. “I’m not in the mood for one of your soap operas.”

You storm out of the building, your blood is boiling with the mixture of anger, fear, and realization of all things you used to have fell to pieces in a matter of seconds.

“Hey, wait,” Mingyu grabs your hand, and you stop, too afraid to look at him. “What’s the matter?”

You’re struck by an incredible sense of fear, of confusion, of vulnerability, but you finally have to face the reality.

“The problem is,” you sigh. “Hansol is my soulmate.”

“Don’t cry,” Soonyoung tries to conciliate you, his hand is rubbing against your back, and he tightens the embrace. “I’m here for you.”

At this point, you even hate yourself for the damp spot on his sweatshirt made with your tears. You want to concentrate on Soonyoung’s words uttered in a small voice, almost whispering, but as you think about Mingyu, about how on his face thoughts and feelings seemed connate – his pained stare said everything, – standing in front of you, you feel a sharp pain in your heart.

“Do you despise me?” your voice sounds desperate.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t ask such a shitty question to my best friend,” he says. “You’re the best.”

You laugh bitterly. Soonyoung treats you too nicely – without asking why you’d been keeping so many secrets from him till this night, rebuking Seungkwan for standing guard over Hansol’s feelings, promising Mingyu will pay dearly in the nearest future for his superior sense of morality or whatever.

“What about Hansol?” you ask him, your eyes still are full of tears and pain, but you force a small smile.

“Will kick him out,” his voice is firm, and you sink your face into the soft material of his cloth, suppressing a bigger smile that threats to appear on your lips.

“Soonyoung, I’ve made four enemies this year, and it’s only the end of February,” your voice is muffled as you keep pressing your face onto the boy’s chest. “Momo, Mingyu, Hansol, Seungkwan – all of them hate me for being stupid, for not telling the truth, for being a bitch, for-”

“Shh. It’s their problem, not yours. It’s them who won’t survive ‘cause they made enemies of us. Listen to me,” he calls your name, making a passionate appeal. “We’re undefeatable, you and me.”

You lift your head at him, finding him keeping his eyes on the ceiling in a dramatic way, and you snicker. His lips twist into a broad smile, and he looks at you.

“They don’t hate you,” he says. “Life is complicating, so are we. They know about it.”

You meet Mingyu at the library. There are dark circles beneath his eyes, and he’s surprisingly quiet.

“Seungkwan said Hansol fell for you only after Soonyoung’s countless ramblings about you. He indeed stared at your pics, I suppose.”

He’s in pain.

You feel empty inside; a terrible anguish seizes your heart.

“Do you feel the same about him?” an involuntary question slips off his tongue.

You want to say it’s him, it’s only him who made you fall, who made you feel at ease, who made you want to give and not just to take, but you can’t.

He waits for a response you’ll never be able to come up with.

This night you cry yourself to sleep.

Weeks go by.

The three of you – you, Hansol, and Soonyoung – glue your eyes to the television set placed at the wall of the boys’ living-room. Watching different tv series with them somehow has turned into therapy sessions – despite experiencing triggers at almost everything that is shown, you feel you’re not alone. The two of them act like nothing happened, and all of you are ready to meet your soulmates someday.

But, if nothing happened, why Mingyu’s name is forbidden from saying out loud because it would fill you with pain?

“You have popcorn crumbs on your shirt,” you notice, pointing at Soonyoung with the remote in your hand.

“I preferred watching tv to reading books when i was younger,” the boy says, dusting the crumbs off his torso and lap.

“And it shows,” you tease. Soonyoung gives you a light pinch on the side and straightens up with a huff.

“I’m going to bed,” he announces. “The bathroom is occupied for the next thirty minutes.”

Hansol nods and bids Soonyoung goodnight as you blow him a kiss – his laughter never fails to boost your mood.

“Resuming?” you ask Hansol. “I’m not sleepy.”

“Neither am I.”

It’s completely dark apart from the television’s dim yellow glow. Somehow, you find yourself being distracted by almost everything – the pattern of the wooden floor, the material of the couch, the streetlamp right outside the window, the plant that is going to die soon due to Soonyoung and Hansol’s lack of care.

Hansol.

His eyes flicker in your direction, catching you staring at him. You don’t look away.

“Am I more interesting than the show?” he asks, not expecting you reply with a quiet ‘yes’. A blush coloring his cheeks can be spotted even in the poorly illuminated room.

“You’re so shy sometimes,” you remark in a low voice. “You didn’t seem so when I first met you.”

“I felt some courage out of nothing,” he shakes his head, his long and slender fingers tapping his knees. “When I saw you.”

You sigh. How the Universe can be broken? Maybe you’re broken?

“I read that if you’re dealing with schizophrenia your emotions are mixed up – you feel something you shouldn’t have felt and express something you don’t feel.”

“Scientific facts again, huh? You’re referring to me?” he grins.

“To myself, I guess,” there is no smile at your features as you sigh. “Or maybe it’s – I don’t know, to be honest.”

“Hey, I know its not gonna work but I’ll say it anyway,” he reaches out his hand to yours and gently squeezes it. “Don’t think shit about yourself. Don’t say shit,” he pauses. “When the words appeared I was surprised, no shit. But as I find out more and more things about you, all of it start to make sense. I don’t want anyone’s words but yours on me. That’s it. That’s the thing I feel.”

He’s beautiful, you think, very beautiful.

Your eyes wander over his face and finally stop at his lips. The contour of his mouth is perfect – Hansol’s lips aren’t plump, but neither are thin – just perfect – and the little bruise on his lower lip makes you unable to brush your overwhelming desire to have a lick over this exact spot. You hesitate – and even now the image of Mingyu settles on you.

But when you feel Hansol’s lips on yours, you let him in. He claims your mouth passionately, and you slide your hands into his hair, pulling on his locks, and he groans in your mouth. When you pull back for a moment, your eyes flooded with haze, Hansol traces his thumb over your slick with his spit lips, sending a shiver down your spine. He leans onto you again, his lips ghosting over yours, the redolent scent of his musky cologne makes your head even more dizzy.

“I want you,” he whispers into your lips, his voice is cracking.

“You can have me,” you breathe out, closing your eyes as his lips decorate your neck in sloppy kisses.

You can have me, but can you have my heart?

The question finds lodgment in your mind.

You might lose the thing you love the most, but life goes on… and here we stand.

You’ve discovered you’re an excellent pretender.

Pretend you think nothing of going without sleep for several nights and then attend your classes. Pretend you’re not tired. Pretend you like the tasteless dish in the restaurant Momo brought you to. Pretend it’s not painful to be in the same room with Mingyu. Pretend you love Hansol back.

“My legs are killing me,” Seungkwan whines. “I just don’t know how much more of it I can take.”

Same, you think, fucking same.

“Wait a little more and I’ll buy you a hotdog,” Mingyu promises, looking over his shoulder to see you wearily stagger behind them. The combination of the three of you is weird, you find, but life goes on, isn’t it?

It’s May, and the three is you are stuck in Ikea’s mazes – Mingyu needs to buy some new furniture – this is what brings him to the mall, but also Mingyu needs someone to keep him company – and this is what brings you and Seungkwan to the same place. Mingyu calls your name, and you lift your head, furrowing your eyebrows in a question.

“You good? How ‘bout a few hotdogs after?”

“And milkshakes,” Seungkwan adds.

“Just an ice cream please,” you mumble, and he nods. Sometimes it’s so awkward – to be around him. Sometimes it’s natural. But mostly it’s painful.

Standing in the parking lot, waiting for Mingyu and Seungkwan while they’re stuffing the things Mingyu bought into the trunk of his car, you dumbly watch the ice cream steadily dripping down your hand.

Damn.

No ice cream can help you feel good even a bit.

You enter Hansol’s bedroom and find him at the wooden floor, lying on his back, eyes closed. With his arms and legs splayed out, he reminds you a giant starfish.

“Are you even breathing?” you chuckle, bending over him.

“I am,” Hansol smiles, his eyes stay closed, and he taps slightly on his chest. “C’mere.”

You oblige, your head nestle against his chest, and you hear his steady heartbeat. He wraps his left arm around you and inhales deeply.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes out of sudden, and you turn your head to look at him. “The first words were stupid, and you’ll have them for forever.”

“Suit us very well,” you poke, and he sniffs, reaching out to slightly pinch your cheek. “Hey! Stop!”

Hansol laughs, squeezing you tighter, and the sound of his slow and steady breathing lulls you to sleep. Your gaze is directed at the ceiling as you try to fight against sleep. “You’re so composed, but also so goofy, but also so delicate,” you sigh, thinking out loud as your fingertips trace up and down the soft skin of his wrist. Hansol’s warm. “But the first words were wacky,” you chuckle. “What’ve done to deserve them?”

“It was Russian roulette, baby,” he hums, and you can hear him smiling.

You fall asleep like that. You dream about buying the beige sofa you saw in Ikea and Mingyu’s endless attempts to change your mind – the green one is a way better, he insists. The green one would suit the interior perfectly, you agree with him, but the beige one is so classy, and maybe even a little obligatory? Every apartment should have one, but Mingyu only shakes his head in frustration.

“I'm not sure you’re one hundred percent positive about what you’re convincing me of,” he purses his lips.

Dreams that are hardly can be distinguish from reality are exhausting. You wish there was a way to put this worry to bed once and for all.

“Okay, so the concept of your birthday party is dubstep,” you verify. “And the main dish excepted for a barbeque duck is an ice cream cake?”

“I scream, you scream, gimme that ice cream,” Soonyoung’s enjoyment is evidenced by his wide smile. You playfully roll your eyes, not really hiding the excitement you share with him.

“Why do I feel that we’re constantly hanging out at birthday parties?” Hansol asks, peering at his phone screen, not bothering to straighten his head from its bending position.

“Because our friend group is too huge for people our age,” you make a point.

“It’s so expensive to have a lot of friends,” Soonyoung complains, but when he meets your questionable gaze, he adds. “But for you, my bestie, money’s no object.”

“Good to know,” you laugh, your fingers leisurely run above the rim of the empty cup of matcha latte. “I’m more upset about my dear boyfriend didn’t show any interest in volunteering at preps for the party.”

Hansol smiles, tapping on his phone, his eyes are anchored on the screen, and you narrow your expression at him, shaking your head in a scolding manner.

“And now he pretends he doesn’t hear me,” you say. “Wonderful, isn’t it?”

Hansol’s face brightens and broadens out into a beaming smile, and the sound of Soonyoung’s giggles fills the air.

“I’ll ask Seokmin to help you,” the older boy suggests, and you raise your eyebrow at him.

“I know you’re saying it for the best of reasons, but Seokmin rather is a distraction than a help,” you debate, and Soonyoung raises his small hands in surrender, his eyes becoming crescent-shaped due to his laugh.

“Okay, I’ll send backup,” he promises. “At the end of the day, Mingyu’s good at cooking and cleaning.”

It would’ve been hard for him not to realize he put his foot in his mouth mentioning Mingyu as the mood tensely shifts. You freeze, alike Hansol, his thumb is hovering over the phone screen for seconds. Soonyoung offers you an apologetic smile, and you smile at the boy back, reassuring him it’s okay – he really did nothing wrong. Hansol’s avoiding your questioning gaze, hiding his eyes behind his curly bangs, and you gently brush a section of his hair from his face, wanting to see him clearly.

“Are you jealous, Sollie?” you try to joke, a soft smile playing on your lips, your hand placed on his cheek. As he raises his eyes at you, nerves are evident in them, your heart sinks, and you feel breathless. He won’t ask you if he should be, he won’t make any scenes – but he may shut himself off, locking his feelings deep inside, and you fear it the most. You don’t mean to hurt him, but you’re still providing him a good amount of pain – he isn’t an idiot who can’t figure out that Mingyu’s never really left your heart.

“No,” he simply says. “I’ll help you with everything.”

“You’re a bigger distraction than Seokmin for me, but how can I say no to my sweet boyfriend?” you take his offer, your thumb is stroking his cheek, and the action soothes away the tension he has. Hansol smiles gently at you, and for a second, you’re wondering if he is as good at pretending as you are.

“How did you manage to rent this beach house?” Soonyoung asks in a pure awe. “Such places are always booked!”

“Nothing’s impossible when you love your friend,” you muse. “Besides, thank Hansol – he used his “music industry contacts” to make you happy.”

“Hey, you insult me using air quotes around ‘music industry contacts’,” Hansol slides his arm around your waist, tugging you closer to him, and places a quick peck on the tip of your nose. You stab him in the chest with your index finger, and he fakes a gasp.

“Eavesdropping?” you ask.

“Learning a lot about me,” he grins and draws his attention to the birthday boy. “Like the party?”

“No shit,” Soonyoung laughs. “I’ll like it better if you dance with me,” he says your name, his eyes sparkle brighter than colorful lights blasting through the house.

“Anything for a five stars rate.”

You’re out of breath, the clothes stick to your covered in sweat body, and you wince.

“I’m done,” you announce to Soonyoung, his batteries fully charged as he continues his active dance.

“Get some fresh air and come back!” he yells over the music, and you nod. Crossing the room to the back porch, you spot Hansol in the corner, talking to Joshua and showing the older boy something on his phone screen. Unnoticed, you go directly to the shore until the music of the party drowns in the sound waves, and inhale warm salty air. The water seems so tempting, calling you to step into the waves, their rhythm is hypnotizing you, and you kick your shoes off, perfectly understand the night water is too cold for swimming.

A familiar voice stops you, calling your name. You turn around, greeted with Mingyu’s tall figure, shining like a bronze statue, his tanned skin sheens magical when graced by the evening sun.

“Why do you always tend to sneak out?” he asks, once he made it up to you, a warm smile already crept onto his mouth as he saw you.

“I don’t know, maybe I just like being in crowds,” you shrug your shoulders – it’s true. You really don’t know the answer. He moves closer to you, and you finally spot a small bouquet in his hand. His eyes follow yours, and he chuckles.

“It’s for you,” he shyly passes you the flowers, his teeth press into his bottom lips. “I passed by those wildflowers on my way here and picked them for you.”

“It’s not my birthday,” you laugh. “But thank you, I love it,” you say, nuzzling your nose against the tender petals. You look up at the boy and lock your eyes with his, a tickling feeling spreading in your chest. The waves are lapping on the peaceful and quiet shore, but you feel electricity surging through your body. You stand on your tiptoes and place a delicate kiss on his soft cheek, the action is innocent, but for Mingyu it’s like hearing a starting whistle.

“You’re still in my thoughts,” he breathes. “Still here,” he reaches over to grab your hand and place it over his chest, and through your fingertips you’re able to feel his rapid heart. Tears are starting to form at the rim of your eyes, and your vision becomes blurred. Your fingers crawl into the flowers he gave you, pressing against the vulnerable stems. “It’s egoistic, I know, you’re dating my friend, your soulmate, but why does it feel like you’re mine?”

“I don’t know,” you sob. The next second you find yourself against his firm chest and you inhale his scent that feels like home. Not a place where you live, but home. He plants a kiss to the crown of your head and puts his hands on your shoulders.

“Look at me,” the golden boy suddenly says. “Please.”

You look up at him and see his eyes briefly dropping to your lips, and despite yourself you feel that familiar tingling in your gut, wanting him to kiss you. He reads you like an open book and he is kissing you, his lips softly press against yours, a tender flavor on your tongue.

“Mingyu,” you whisper in a small voice, pulling out from him. “I can’t. I can’t do this to Hansol.”

The boy looks at you with a pained expression, and in his eyes you can see that he wishes he didn’t have a heart at all.

“I’m sorry, angel,” he mutters, and you nod your head, your heart is swelling at the nickname.

“I know. I’m sorry too.”

You lock yourself up in the bathroom, hoping no one saw your state while you were hurrying upstairs. Suddenly, someone tries the handle, but it jingles with no success.

“It’s occupied!” you try your best to sound calm, but your voice is trembling.

“It’s me,” Hansol’s muffled voice leaks through the door. “Let me in.”

You turn the lock and face Hansol, your eyes are all red and watery from crying. The boy locks the door behind him and turns to face you, his piercing eyes burn right into your soul.

“You love him,” he says, too delicate to torture you with questions, and you feel even worse – if it’s possible – paralyzed with fear and regrets, guilt eating you inside out, and you swallow the lump in your throat. You let out a wet sob, not being able to look into his sad eyes.

You broke his heart.

“I’m sorry, Sol,” you say, feeling powerless, loss for words to say to him, to explain yourself, to apologize. “I don’t know what should I do. I don’t know what should we do.”

“If he makes you happier than I could,” he looks above your head. “I’ll accept it someday.”

“You don’t deserve this,” you say, feeling so stupid, only wishing that the floor would open up and swallow you.

“Maybe soulmates aren’t bond only by romantic shit,” his deep voice comes to you through the mist. You don’t ask him to give you a chance, don’t change his mind – maybe this painful reveal of the truth will make your heart feel a little bit lighter one day, even if right now you’re sure this is never going to happen.

You don’t complain and do not want pity from anyone – you’re sick and tired of Soonyoung tiptoeing around you, trying to keep you from collapsing; of the silent treatment Seungkwan gives you, scornful looks he spares you every single time you see him get you to another level of anger; of a constant scratching sense of guilt you’ve been racked with since your break-up with Hansol, but somehow he never blames you even if he should; of Momo dragging you to the shop malls and making you keep shopping until you cheer up.

Of you can’t getting up the nerve to answer any of Mingyu’s calls, too afraid of something you can’t even describe.

Momo’s straight face catches you off guard, and you only gasp,

“He what?! No, no, no,” you shake your head in disbelief. “You’re making this up.”

“What for?” the girl rolls her eyes back deep into their sockets. “Mingyu invited you to his picnic party or whatever through me cause you’re too deaf to pick up your phone, nothing special.”

“Will you come with me?” your eyes meet hers in the bathroom mirror, your expression makes Momo give you her infamous crinkly-eyed smile.

“He didn’t ask me to come – only you,” she purrs, taking her lip gloss out of the small bag. “He’s so fucking in love with you, you little witch.”

“I-” you stutter, the crimson red blush spreads across your cheeks, and Momo laughs and gives you a playful shove.

“Don’t you dare to say no,” she warns. “You’ll deal with me.”

“What would I do without you, Momo?” you smile at her. Even if you asked playfully, you really mean it – and the warmth in your chest proves it.

Mingyu seems nervous as he clumsy steps into your apartment, his chest is tensed with the breath he holds. The boy is dressed in a loose white t-shirt and high-wasted velvety pants, and you sigh in relief – the picnic party - as Momo called it - obviously wasn’t planned as something fancy.

“Thanks for picking me up,” you smile.

“Thanks for coming. Means a world,” he says, poking his cheek with his tongue, a shy smile follows his words. You missed him. Missed everything about him – the small giggles he lets while talking with that slight lisp to you, the shake of his head when he can’t understand something, the pout appearing on his plump lips when he realizes the item he wanted to buy is out of stock, the bright smile beaming on his face while he spills out his ideas for photography, the warmth of his palm holding yours in the pocket of his woolen coat.

“Who else is gonna be there?” you ask during your drive to the beach – Mingyu found the place perfect for a picnic, especially in the hot summer.

“Um,” he hesitates for a moment, taking his eyes off the road for a moment to look at you. “It’s just the two of us.”

“Oh,” you breath. “I see. Momo didn’t tell me.”

“Blame yourself for leaving me on read,” he grins obnoxiously and you roll your eyes defensively. “Now you’re stuck with me. I forgot to mention one thing, though.”

“Which one?” you rake your eyes over him, admiring how the sun’s rays paint his skin in a golden glitter. “It’s a date.”

You dig your toes into the cool sand, glancing into the evening sky. Mingyu follows your eyeline.

“You can’t see the stars for reflected light from the city,” you notice. “But here we have a chance.”

“No way,” Mingyu protests. “And you know why?”

“Why so?” you turn your face to him, a big smile spread on his lips.

“All Seoul’s stars are in your eyes,” he is smiling so wide that his cheeks must have hurt and he pulls you closer, wrapping both arms around you, tugging you into his lap.

“Shut up,” you laugh, smacking him on the chest, your fingers touching the soft fabric of his shirt. Mingyu’s lips are ghosting over your cheek for a moment before he speaks again,

“But I have lots of things to say,” Mingyu murmurs, biting softly at your earlobe, and a very familiar feeling creeps up into the pit of your stomach.

“Like what?”

“Like, let’s swim,” he takes you aback with the suggestion and you blink at him dumbly. “I didn’t bring my swimsuit with me,” you say.

“Doesn’t matter,” he shrugs. “We’re alone here. No one’ll see.”

You push up from his body and meet his eyes glossy with playfulness and challenge, and you nod at his words. Mingyu grinning at you mischievously, while he removes his clothes – his shirt and pants find their place at the sand – as you see each piece of his skin revealing itself. You inhale deeply, and he leans his head closer to yours, the warm palms rubbing up and down your arms.

“Don’t be nervous,” he whispers, and you’re surprised he can tell this just from your body language, and it makes your heart flutter, pounding even faster against your ribcage. His words encourage you, and he silently watches you removing your dress, the only pieces of clothing on your skin are your bra and panties. Mingyu gently squeezes your hand, his thumb softly strokes back and forth over your knuckles. “Catch me.”

And within a couple of seconds, he is already pushing into the water, everything below his waist out of sight. You slowly step onto the sparkling waves, a lazy smile playing on your lips, as you see Mingyu splashing over to you with a childish pout on his face.

“You’re supposed to catch me, but you don’t even try,” he whines and steps closer to you, pressing his hands to either sides of your neck, his thumb rubbing the hollow of your throat. He looks dreamlike with his skin stick from the water, making him glisten in the soft evening light.

“It’s not the only thing I didn’t do what I was supposed to do. I was born to live without you, remember?” you whisper against his wet lips as he leans over you.

“It doesn’t matter,” he hums, letting his fingers brush against the words inked on your side. “I don’t need to be told who I love.”

You’d been feeling like you were drowning for too long, drowning in the cool water of sorrows, doubts, and self-destruction for too long, but only now you can breathe -

“You love me?” you say in a quiet voice, almost as if it was a secret, and the soft look on his face makes your heart skip a beat, overflowing with love and affection.

“I do. So I ask you to stay with me,” he pleads. Not just for tonight, not for tomorrow morning, but-

“Take me home.”

Rattling keys, the sound of giggles stopped with the kisses, Mingyu’s hot mouth on your pulse point, your hands tugging at his black silk locks, and the heavy weight of the wall meets your back.

“Right in the corridor?” you hum, panting into his ear. “Where is your decency, Kim Mingyu? Not bringing your lady to the bedroom is-” Mingyu doesn’t let you finish, forcing his leg between yours. He is grinning at you with his bottom lip between his teeth as he guides your hips into motion against his thigh, satisfied with the garbled moan ripped from your throat. Bringing his lips to the side of your neck again, Mingyu plants wet kisses on the soft skin. He licks your ear, gently tugging the lobe between his teeth. When the boy releases the tender flesh, he hisses,

“This… you made me forget about my good manners,” Mingyu drawls and attaches his lips to your throat. His voice is sweet, but the material of his pants is rough and the combination drives you crazy, whimpering into the air between you, your clit aching.

“Please,” you whine, grinding yourself harder against him.

Suddenly, Mingyu smiles, brightly and happy, before his lips press into yours, his tongue mapping your mouth. The boy lifts you up and it gives you an opportunity to kiss his neck in return, biting red marks into his tanned skin. Then, ever so carefully, Mingyu places you on the soft surface of the bed, kissing you passionately, but slower, trying to find out what you like the most.

“Can I take your clothes off, please?” he whispers in your mouth and you moan, your hands gripping into his biceps.

“Good manners are back,” you coo. “Go ahead.”

Mingyu helps you to sit up, undoing the upper buttons of your summer dress, kissing the skin it exposes, and finally pulling it over your head.

“Don’t forget to take the rest off too,” you breathe, and his lips stretch into a smile. His arms twist behind your back and then he is sliding the fabric down your arms and tossing it away.

“Do you want me to touch you, princess?” Mingyu murmurs, the tip of his nose traces the side of your neck as his fingers are ghosting over the wetness of your panties.

“Like you don’t know the answer already,” you hiss and he chuckles, his hands move to palm your breasts. You bite your lower lip when he rolls your nipple between his fingers before slowly circling it, a blush slowly creeps down your neck. His mouth finally covers your nipple as his warm palms are parting your thighs, his fingers firmly pressed against the skin. Without being told, you rise your hips to help him remove your soaked panties.

Mingyu sits back on his haunches and marvel at your spread thighs and the pretty wet curves, and your legs separate to make room for him beyond your control.

“You’re so pretty,” he admires, his eyes – glassy with desire and adoration – don’t leave your face. His palm slides up from your hip over your stomach and further still, gently cupping your breast.

“Gyu,” you plea, but before you can even think about the words, Mingyu tosses his shirt somewhere behind his back, already yanked his slightly ruined with your wetness pants and the underwear to the floor.

Then, he is putting his fore and middle fingers into his mouth, coating them in saliva before slowly bringing them to your pussy, the pads of his fingers ghosting over your slit. You moan and he takes it as an invitation, drawing a circle around the hood of your clit. Craving for more, you shamelessly grind your hips into his palm, your fingers grasping at the sheets.

“Baby, I want to taste you so bad,” Mingyu purrs, thrusting his fingers into your pussy down to the knuckles. You moan at the sensation of his fingertips dragging against your pulsing walls, and he increases the pace of his digits inside of you. “You smell so good.”

His words only sending you near delirious. But his tongue feels even better.

Mingyu runs the flat of his tongue up to your clit, humming happily at the moan escaped through your red and swollen lips, your fingers tangled in his hair. His grip on your thighs is firm, screaming lust in big neon letters. He sucks on your clit, focusing his hot mouth on the swollen bundle of nerves, as he is pulling and pushing his fingers through your entrance.

The boy groans deeply, nuzzling his pretty face deeper into your core. The delightful pleasure clings to your stomach, swells at you abdomen. Your eyes screw shut and your chest heaves, the back arching off the bed with a high-pitched cry. Mingyu is leaning over your, adjusting his body on his elbows supporting him either side of your body. His breath is tickling the skin of your neck and you giggle, your hand lazily draws some patterns onto his back. The boy silently observes your features while you reach down to his cock, lubricating it with his pre-cum. Mingyu groans, but you swallow the sound with your mouth, your tongue catching on flesh of his mouth that tastes like you. He is desperately grinding against your stomach, the tip of his dick leaving a wet trail over your skin.

“I love you,” he says against your lips and, slowly and carefully, positions the reddened head to your entrance. You wrap your legs around him, heels pressing into the ample swells of his ass as Mingyu buries himself deep inside you. He presses his teeth on your collarbone as he hitting your sweet spot with every single one of his delicious thrusts.

Mingyu is here – his arms caging your face, his mouth never leaves yours, and his chest is pressed tight against yours – Mingyu is here and you love each other.

He rolls his hips against you, sinking his cock into your heat, his fingers toying with your sensitive clit. Suddenly, he speeds up, pulling an extremely loud moan from you. Feeling you clench around him, Mingyu groans and lowers himself to suck on your nipple, muffling the sounds he makes against your skin.

“Let it go,” he pants out and you oblige, a gasp tumbles from your lips as your fingers curling in his hair. Your walls spasm around his cock, enveloping it with your release. He thrusts in you, his cock twitching inside of you before he lets out a drawn moan. He stills in you as his cock milking your pussy, panting loudly. He opens his dark eyes and his face softens for you as he places a gentle kiss on the side of your jaw.

“We weren’t meant for each other,” you whisper, your hand playing with his damp locks. “But I love you more than anything.”

“We are meant for each other,” Mingyu is persistent. “Since our first meeting.”

“Okay,” you give in.

“I win,” his smile is radiant in the night, and his eyes hold the whole universe in them.

You never thought of you as a rule breaker. No one did.

With each day Mingyu helps you realize you shape the universe you live in.

And you ask him to make your nose look smaller at the portrait of you he have been painting for two weeks already.

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elias-code · 3 years

Text

Two Left Hooves [2/7] - Choice II

Choose your own adventure ~ “What’s Better than Breakfast in Bed?“

Characters: Technoblade x gn!reader, Philza

Summary: You've asked Techno whether he wants to sleep with you or not, and he makes up some excuse to join you. He cuddles with you into the night, but you're greeted with a nightmare, Dream's voice warns you of something to come, but refuses to specify what. Techno pulls you out of the dream and you sleep undisturbed until he greets you with breakfast in the morning.

Warnings: Cussing, Nightmares

IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE INTRO AND CHOSEN YOUR ROUTE, DO SO HERE: INTRO

— The Bird —

"Techno-" I said, kneeling to his level, "What do you want? I mean, you can sleep with me if you want to."

He paused, expecting a quip, but instead, I'd forced him to choose for himself.

"Seeing as you’re already cold, even with the fire..." He clicked his tongue, testing his words, "I want to keep you warm."

Holy shit that's adorable, I thought. Techno never let emotions shine through his words. When I talked to him, I had to constantly read between the lines. His monotone speech was, I supposed, a product of his repressed emotions. Ever since meeting him, I felt like it was my responsibility to dismantle the fortress he’d put around his heart.

"Excuses, excuses," I teased, “but you’re right, I’m gonna freeze without you.” I smiled at him. He let out a small huff, but his expression was unreadable.

"It's not an excuse, it's a reason," he said, turning to me, "They're desperate for me to be at the banquet, but they won't let me go alone, alright? If I let you freeze to death, it wouldn't make for great PR."

I rolled my eyes and scoffed, standing up. I offered a hand to him, to help him stand, "Thank you for not killing me so you don't have to go," I whispered.

"No problem, heh," he took my hand and stood, "I'll be back in a bit, alright?"

"Where are you going?"

"Just downstairs, get ready for bed," He said, dodging the question. He let go of my hand and awkwardly pat me on the head, leaving the room.

I didn't know how the ball was going to work out. On the one hand, Techno would go to the banquet and it'd be as awkward as it's always been between us. On the other, I'd manage to tear down his walls and reveal his emotions, changing our relationship forever.

Techno presented himself as untouchable, calling himself 'the blood god,' but I saw him hold back tears when Tommy betrayed him. I saw the destruction his wrath brought upon L'Manburg. He has compassion, but if he bottled them up any longer, there's no telling who he'd become. He couldn't keep letting everything out as anger, or we'd all pay the price.

I dressed for the night, setting his cape on the back of his chair. I chose a simple shirt and pants, the thickest ones I'd brought with me. I was still cold, but I took the opportunity to inspect his room.

He lives in the attic, a small loft with sparse decoration. What little furniture he did have was extravagant and of the highest quality. His desk chair was made of dark oak wood, the velvet red cushion was well worn. The table matched, a knife was stuck in it, too hard for me to pull out. It was dull, probably used to open letters.

His bed was made, probably just before I got there since it was only roughly put together. Next to it, there was a giant bookshelf pushed against the wall. Most of the books were unmarked and dusty, but a few of them were clean, recently put back. The Art of War, Odyssey, and the Iliad were among them. Their spines were worn and multiple bookmarks were sticking out of the top of each.

"Do you read much?" Techno asked, startling me.

"Um, oh," I stuttered, "I don't know where to get books from, so..."

"No?" He reached over and pulled The Art of War out of the bookshelf.

"I live out in the middle of nowhere," I shrugged, "The only thing I read is my mail."

"That's pretty sad," he said matter-of-factly.

"I have plenty of things to occupy my time with, Technoblade," I crossed my arms.

"Mhm," he handed me the book. Its cover was more worn than its spine, the old leather was cracking at the corners. "Take that home with you, I've read it a thousand times. Might come in handy."

"I suppose I can use it to knock intruders out," I flipped it over. It was like a brick in my hand, heavy and hard enough to break a window. "Thanks."

I yawned, realising how late it's gotten. I left my house almost a full twenty-four hours ago and I rode endlessly until I got here. I was exhausted.

I walked over to my pile of stuff and carefully placed the book in my bag. I then took a bit of a running start and jumped onto the bed, landing in a pile of furs and knitted blankets. "Don't wake me up in the morning," I muttered.

Techno came over and sat on the bed next to me. "I'll try not to," He said.

I shuffled under the blankets and shivered. The furs were enough to keep my body heat in, but I wouldn't tell Techno that. I heard him pick the covers up to join me. Soon, I felt his arms wrap around me, his chest to my back.

My cheeks flushed bright pink and I stifled a giggle. The blood god is snuggling with me... This is not what I thought was going to happen when I joined the server. I smiled and put my hand on his, wrapped around my waist. No one was going to believe this ever happened.

--- The Bird's Dream ---

He’s there, he’s right there. I need to go see him, I need to get there before it’s too late. There are so many people in the way, I’m not going to be there in time to dance. Who are all these people? They whisper about him as if they know him, as if they watch his every step and live in his mind. Left and right, they whisper things about me, about him.

“Did you hear, he’s going to the ball!”

“Oh and with that beautiful bird,”

“If only they knew. Tsk.”

Their eyes were unmoving, fixated on me. I shoved my way through the crowd, suddenly falling into the void.

“Did you really think it was going to be that simple? That you’d just seduce him with the snap of your fingers? He’s not a dog, he can’t be trained. He’s a wild animal. He’s unstable, He’ll break your heart, little bird.” Dream's voice boomed, echoing in my mind.

"Who are you?" I tried to yell, but only air came out.

"I'm the one who whitelisted you, the one who trusted you."

"What does that mean?" I was desperate to stop, to wake up, but I was falling infinitely.

"That's not for you to know, Puppet. You're here because I have a job for you, nothing more. You're the only one that can get through to him."

"What- What's my job? Why am I here?"

"You'll know soon enough-"

--- Technoblade ---

I slept soundly until I felt them stir under me. It sounded like they were having a nightmare, they muttered my name. What the hell are they dreaming about? I pulled them closer, brushing my hand through their hair. I wanted to wake them softly, so they'd forget about whatever was just racing through their mind.

They took a deep breath, signalling their waking. I continued to stroke their hair, "You ok, Bird?"

They mumbled an 'ok' and turned to face me, burying their face in my neck. I did the same and took deep breaths for them to follow. Within minutes, they were asleep in my arms. It felt right.

I didn't have the heart to admit it. If I did, I'd just have to tear it all away again, I'd be the one thing I truly hated. I'd be a traitor.

Don't get attached, Techno. We get to break hearts now, not just crush them! If you name this one, you'll regret it. Nothing screams ruin more than you do.

I woke up to birds chirping outside my window. The weather had finally let up, now I could finally get real work done. It took me a couple of seconds to remember the person fast asleep in my arms. A lump formed in my throat, but I swallowed it.

Carefully, I picked up the covers and snuck out of bed. I wanted to keep my promise not to wake them up, and so I immediately left the room, avoiding the creaky floorboards as I descended the stairs to the kitchen.

I pulled half a dozen eggs out of their box and cracked and cooked them over the fire, adding the occasional spice so it wasn't too bland. I toasted some bread and stuck it all on separate plates. Four eggs for me, two for them. I was two times their size, after all. The image of them laying on my bed flashed in my mind, making me smile. I shook it off. I couldn't get attached any more than I was now.

I pulled myself together and went back upstairs with the food. I put my plate on my desk, pulling the knife out of it and stashing it in my drawer. I walked over to the bed, placing their food on the nightstand. I reached over and gently pat them on the head, slowly waking them.

"Good morning," I whispered.

They opened their eyes and mumbled "G'morn'n,"

"I made you some eggs," I said, still petting their head, "You should eat them while they're hot,"

"Ok," they sat up and I moved back over to my desk, sitting in my chair.

They yawned and stretched, their shirt raising over their waist, exposing their belly button. I looked away and busied myself with my food.

Oh, look at them, they're so cute... so naive... so vulnerable.

I wanted to scream at the voices to shut up. They had been plaguing me ever since Phil suggested I invite them. For some reason, they had a vendetta against the bird. They wanted to see them suffer to, in turn, make me suffer. The voice's presence itself was enough to turn my hair grey, but this added a whole extra layer to my agony.

"Techno?"

"Hmm?" I didn't look up from my food.

"Did you make me breakfast in bed?"

I looked at them, hiding my embarrassment, "You told me not to wake you, but I was hungry, and I thought you'd like some too."

They blushed and shrugged. "You know me so well," they sighed.

"And I thought you'd appreciate the origin of the eggs," I added.

"Oh, and where are they from?" Their mouth was full, making them mumble a bit. They looked a bit scared.

"Well," I leaned towards them in my chair, "They're from The egg."

"Bullshit," they called, stuffing their face with more eggs. Maybe I should have given them more.

I laughed, genuinely, "They're just chicken eggs, I doubt the egg would taste very good,"

We ate and joked like nothing was wrong in the world. They were so good at making me feel at home, but the voices were eager to remind me of my past. I wouldn't let them spoil this. What we had was new to me, and I wouldn't just lay down and take the voices at their word. Gods know they aren't worth their weight.

— Philza —

“Hey, you two…” I creaked open the front door to Techno’s cabin.

The bird smiled at me from the breakfast bar, “Hey Phil, good morning!” They seemed very chipper for having just woken up. Both of them were already dressed in the day’s clothes, excluding overcoats that hung on the hooks by the door.

“Hello, Phil,” Techno nodded at me. His hair was neatly braided and they were both already dressed.

"How was your morning?"

"Techno made me breakfast!" They laughed. That was a surprise, he didn't even cook for me.

"Ooh, nice," I said, "What's better than breakfast in bed, eh?"

"Riches beyond your wildest dreams," Techno chuckled. I guess they were both in a good mood this morning.

“It’s nice to see you, mate,” I said to the bird, wandering over to join them at the breakfast bar. I sat down on a stool next to them, putting the notebook on the counter in front of me. “I’ve got something for you.”

“Ooh, what is it?” They said, sliding the notebook over to them. I reached over and opened it to the page I was referring to.

“The banquet has a dress code, and I’m assuming you don’t have anything that matches it,” Everything they wore was forest green or yellow, sometimes they had black or white clothes, but it was few and far between.

“What’s the dress code?”

“It’s blue, black, white, and gold,” I pointed to two drawings on the page, “I’m thinking either I make you a dress or a tuxedo, or I can mix the two. A tux top with a skirt. What do you think?”

They pressed their lips together, surveying their options. I tried my best to draw them, although they were rough sketches of a fancier design in my head. I could draw buildings and architecture for my blueprints, but flow-y things were not as easy.

/// UNDER CONSTRUCTION, BRRRRR ///

Choose your garment! It only affects the story slightly, I promise! There is no gender attached to them, it just changes how you’ll interact with people :)

Dress

Tux-dress

Tuxedo

#technoblade x reader #techno x reader #c!techno x reader #c!technoblade x reader #dreamxd #dreamsmp #dsmp #mcyt #dreamsmp x reader #dsmp x reader #philza #elias original #two left hooves

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alltooreid · 3 years

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Dancing With Our Hands Tied

In order to keep Y/N safe from danger, Spencer vows to keep their relationship a complete secret from everyone they know. However, as their romance gets more serious, Y/N and Reid begin to realize that no matter how in love they are, they may have been doomed from the start.

A/N: Back at it with a hopefully very angsty fic! This is of course inspired by the Taylor Swift song, but you don’t need to be familiar with the song to read and enjoy! Also I made a playlist for this one shot, which you can find here (its best if you listen to it in order and of course you don’t have to listen as you read, but if you enjoy that kind of thing, I thought it would be fun). Additionally, in order for the timeline of this fic to make the most sense, I’m choosing to ignore the Lauren Reynolds subplot, because trying to incorporate it and explain it would be distracting and unnecessary in my opinion. Thanks for reading!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

Type: Angst

Word Count: 3.9K

Content Warnings: Some cursing, general fighting angst, discussion of pregnancy, brief mention of abortion (follow up is left intentionally ambiguous, based on your own desires and beliefs you are allowed to decide where that aspect goes (pro choice tings))

“I, I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us So, baby, can we dance Oh, through an avalanche?”

Spencer Reid hated funerals.

Somehow he felt he was always invited to one, and no matter how hard it was for him to be there, he always made every effort to go. So when Hotch had to plan Haley’s funeral, Spencer knew he had to go, no matter how much he would hate it.

He looked down to the grass as his supervisor cried over his now dead wife, the most emotion he had seen from him ever. He refused to look up and watch, although there were at least a hundred people there to mourn Haley, this moment felt innately private to Hotch. Spencer didn’t think it was his place for his eyes to intrude.

So he stared at the lawn and got lost in his own mind.

Right then and there he realized he never wanted to go through what Hotch had to go through. No matter how many philosophers described love in the most beautiful, enchanting way, Spencer didn’t want it anymore.

He didn’t want to go through a heartbreak, because how worth it could it be?

Of course, all information he had in his repertoire pointed to the claim that it was worth it. Yet he couldn’t pay attention to Oscar Wilde, trying to tell him that “hearts are made to be broken,” or E. A. Bucchianeri screaming that “grief is the price we pay for love.”

All he could see at that moment was the most stone-faced man he had ever known, breaking down in front of everyone he knew over the woman he loved.

At that moment Spencer Reid vowed to completely give up on love. He would become the best profiler to ever live. People would compare him to Jason Gideon, but Spencer Reid would win every time. Spencer wouldn’t let himself be like Gideon and get so hung up over a person that he couldn’t ever work anymore.

So when Spencer left the funeral and went to bed that night, he was confident that he would sleep alone like that forever. It was comfortable like that and he was happy. Who needs to be in love?

Not Spencer Reid that’s for sure.

Well, until three months later, when Spencer Reid met Y/N Y/L/N.

She was beautiful, and Spencer knew he wanted to get to know her the first time he laid eyes on her.

But he was doing such a good job recently…. Even Hotch was impressed with his work ethic. The only one who had talked to him about his lack of emotion was Penelope, she seemed concerned when Spencer told her he didn’t want to meet let alone go on a date with the cute nerdy barista from her go to coffee shop. Spencer refused to reason with her, he was too focused on proving himself to Hotch and the rest of the team.

Even though in the back of his mind, Spencer knew he had already proven himself to the rest of the team, now he just needed to be good enough for himself.

A truly impossible task.

But he was still trying to do it, so he didn’t talk to the barista at the new coffee shop he was trying.

He wasn’t expecting her to try and talk to him. Maybe that’s why he was so willing to give up his own reasoning.

“That’s a lot of sugar, sugar. Are you as sweet as your coffee?” she said, giggling as she did it. She knew the line was cheesy and stupid but she had been eyeing Spencer Reid since he came in and knew she needed to get his attention. Luckily, he couldn’t help but laugh.

Their first date was right then and there. They got distracted and talked till closing, Y/N’s coworkers noticing she was actually putting herself out there and deciding to pick up her slack so she could continue.

“So are you going to call me Dr. Reid or were you just leading me on for 3 hours?”

“Of course I’ll call you, how else am I going to get you to watch Doctor Who?”

Y/N smiled, “Well I know this is kind of forward, but I have this art exhibit tomorrow, I would love to see you there. But don’t over think that! I’ve invited pretty much everyone I know. I have a bet to win amongst the other art students, whoever has the most people come to see them wins one of those giant Costco sheet cakes. I need that sheet cake Spencer.”

Spencer smiled, “Well, I am from Vegas . . . Maybe I could help push the odds in your favor.”

“Well I can’t wait to see you there. Tomorrow, 6 pm, I’ll text you the details.”

It was only when he laid down to sleep that Spencer remembered his philosophy on love, but strangely, he did not care.

He may have been trying to freeze his heart, but Y/N was coming in with a blowtorch.

And he didn’t mind. In fact he unlocked the door to let her in.

So when he arrived at work the next morning, he fully intended on going to her art show. He thought about what flowers to bring her. . . was this a date? Was last night a date? Were roses too strong a message? He couldn’t do anything red, it was too forward. Pink? What if she saw it as stereotypical because she’s a woman, maybe she hates pink?! Yellow Tulips were safe, but if he got her yellow tulips then she would think they were just friends and Spencer didn’t want to be just friends.

His internal debate was interrupted by none other than Penelope Garcia, but not to interrupt their paperwork day with a case, but to make an announcement to the bullpen.

“Hello my loves! I have an interesting idea for some team bonding tonight, my favorite barista and dear friend has invited me to her school art show. Of course she needs the most support humanly possible, so you all need to come with me and look at cool art!”

“Who’s this friend of yours Penelope?” JJ asked.

“Oh Jayge you’ve met Y/N! She’s lovely and I’m sure an incredible artist. You guys will all love her!”

Suddenly Spencer remembered Hotch and his broken down faces at Haley’s funeral. He remembered his philosophy on love and his fear of heartbreak.

But he also remembered how alive he felt with Y/N. How the way she laughed like a little kid and how that made him feel giddy. He remembered how she was always so interested in what he had to say. He remembered that he really liked her.

And at that moment, Spencer realized that he did not have to choose between being in love and keeping his heart safe from the devastating heartbreak of seeing his true love die. He realized that the reaper could only find Haley because Hotch let people know they were together Because everyone knew of Hotch’s wife, she was in constant danger.

Maybe if he kept Y/N secret he could still be with her.

“Spencer! Did you hear me?”

“No, um sorry Garcia what did you say?”

“I asked if you were going to come to Y/N’s art show, you know you too would make such a cute couple! You should totally come.”

“I actually can’t, I’m not feeling well.”

She sighed, “That’s what you said last time I tried to get you two together 187 . . . Do you want to talk about anything Spencer? You haven’t been yourself lately.”

“I’m fine, I just have a headache. I don’t want to go out tonight.”

She rested her hand on his shoulder for a second, before following Morgan to the kitchen. Spencer knew she was going to say something to him, but he didn’t care. He had found the perfect solution to his conundrum.

And he knew exactly what flowers to send to Y/N.

Y/N texted him thirteen times, and waited an extra hour after the open house closed in case he showed. So although she went home empty handed, one person away from enough cake to feed fifty, she received a call from Spencer Reid.

“Hey, where were you tonight? I was looking forward to seeing you.”

“I’m sorry Y/N, something came up, but I have something for you! Are you still there?”

“Oh no, I just got to my apartment. I can send you the address.”

“I’ll be over as soon as I can.”

And five minutes later Spencer was at Y/N’s door, with Chinese take out and white peonies, a flower known for its apologetic symbolism.

Y/N blushed, “You didn’t have to bring me flowers Spencer . . .”

“Well I wanted to bring some to your show, but I figured this could be the next best thing . . . And maybe we could eat some of your Costco sheet cake afterwards. Sounds like a balanced meal to me.”

“Although I love that idea, I unfortunately came home tonight sheet cake-less.”

Reid frowned, “How close were you? Would I have made any difference?”

“Oh no!” Y/N lied, “I was way off, don’t even worry about it.” She smiled, “I’m just excited that you're here right now.”

Spencer blushed and looked down at his feet, “Well I’m excited to be here.”

Four months after that night, Y/N asked Spencer a seemingly stupid question while they were eating take out at her apartment. “Spencer, I love takeout and all but we haven’t gone out in public together since the first time we met. . . Call me stupid but I’m starting to wonder if you don’t want to be seen with me.”

Spencer sighed, “Y/N, it’s not that it’s just . . . complicated.”

“I just don’t get it. Am I the second woman or something?”

“No! Absolutely not! You are my one and only flower,” he said, smiling and then leaning in to kiss her nose. She giggled in response, but quickly remembered the serious nature of their conversation. “Y/N, you know what I do for a living.”

“I don’t understand what that has to do with anything.”

“Not too long ago, my boss was targeted by a serial killer who made it his mission to make his life miserable. In doing so he killed his wife. I just . . . I don’t want that to happen to you Y/N. I think I’m falling in love with you, and I can’t put you through that.”

“Spencer . . . I love you too.”

So no matter how badly Y/N wanted to tell her family, or update her Facebook status, she respected Spencer, and although she didn’t completely understand his concerns, she wanted him to be happy.

So she spent ten more months like that, catering to Spencer Reid’s peace of mind. Pretending to smile as he told her stories of all the funny things his team members did, all about their partners, and their love lives.

A couple times now, Y/N asked Spencer if she could meet them, but Spencer always shot it down. When he first mentioned the idea of keeping their relationship a secret, Y/N had secretly hoped it would be one of those things that was forgotten about within a week or two. But no. It had been many, many weeks, and Spencer still didn’t want to be seen in public with her.

And by now that was all she wanted. To go on a real date, to introduce him to her friends, to actually be able to tell her coworkers that something did come from that guy she hit it off with.

Everyday, Y/N felt she did the same exact thing, she went to work, would come home and if Spencer was still in Quantico, she would convince him to come over. (They had been dating for over a year now, and Y/N had never been to his apartment. She didn’t even know where it was). If Spencer did come over, he would usually bring some kind of dessert with him, and they would talk and be merry in their own little secret oasis. A couple weeks ago, Y/N started to get this uncomfortable, uneasy feeling that encompassed her whole body, her whole being. Every part of her was trying to tell her that Spencer Reid was not the man for her. And even though she was still very much in love with him, she agreed.

Although she loved Spencer for the person he was, the man who brought her every different flavor of cheesecake from the bakery across town (one a day for fifty nine days straight), the man who begged her to make him a painting for valentines day instead of buying him a present, the man who cried when she did and laughed when she did and-

There were a lot of things to love about Spencer Reid, but there were a lot of things to hate about their relationship.

She hated the time she bought a gold locket in the shape of a heart, and put a picture of them in it so she could keep him with her all day long, and he made her return it because it could fly open and someone could recognize him. She hated the day she came home with a little beige kitten named Betsy and Spencer made her give Betsy to her sister so that he wouldn’t get cat hair on his clothes and have to answer a million questions. She hated the time Spencer missed her birthday weekend because he had a case and couldn’t give an excuse to why he couldn’t go. She hated that Spencer was her entire life, while she seemed like just an inconvenience to his.

And most of all, she hated that she loved him so much. Because deep down she knew that she could never leave Spencer Reid, but she also knew that there was no way they could last if nothing changed.

Just then Spencer knocked on her door, she had offered him his own key many times, but he declined because he didn’t want anyone to see it on his key ring and ask what it was for. She let him in, and right away his fun perky smile dropped. “You’ve been crying. I can tell.”

“Is that the kind of thing they teach you in FBI school?”

“Yes actually, but that’s not the point,” he said, dropping his bouquet of red chrysanthemums on Y/N’s coffee table and grabbing one of her hands with both of his. “Talk to me Y/N.”

She sighed, “I love you Spencer, but I just don’t know if we can do this anymore.”

“What do you mean flower?”

“Spencer we’ve been together for over a year-”

“One year, two months and five days,” he corrected.

“Yes, yes that. We’ve been together for one year, two months and five days but no one except us knows that.”

“Y/N I thought you were okay with that, I just want you to be safe.”

“I thought I was okay with it but,” she paused, afraid of what she wanted to say, “I’m not Spencer, I don’t want to live like this anymore. I love you, and I want to be with you. To really be with you. What happens if we ever get married, do we have to get eloped, would you even let us get married because you need someone else to watch? When do I get to tell my mom I’m in a relationship? What if you get hurt out in the field, and no one has heard of me, let alone knows to call me, and we never get to say goodbye? How far do you plan on taking this?”

Spencer grew flustered, “Um, I- I don’t know? I didn’t know you were even thinking about those things.”

“Do you think about those things? Things like getting married?”

“You’re the love of my life Y/N, of course I do.”

“Well then something needs to change. We can’t live like this anymore.”

“Things will get better Y/N, I promise you, we’ll start small but I’m going to make this better for you. Actually, um we can start right now,” he started digging through his messenger bag. After a minute, he pulled out a smaller gold heart locket than the one you had originally purchased for yourself. “I, um I was going to give it to you for your birthday, but I feel like now is the best time. I couldn’t find the same one, but it’s the same picture inside.”

She teared up, “I love it. It’s perfect. Here, put it on me.” She turned around and pushed her hair to one side so that Spencer could clasp the delicate chain around her neck.

They kissed, and afterward Spencer spoke, “I hate to ruin this moment, but I’ve had to use the bathroom ever since I got here.”

Y/N laughed, “Ok go, I’ll be waiting.”

While waiting for her love to come back, Y/N admired her flowers. Ever since Spencer began to get her different flowers to symbolize different things she had developed an abnormal botany fascination. She would always beat Spencer to explaining the symbolism of her latest bouquet, so she already knew the red chrysanthemum was a symbol of prosperous, passionate love in most countries. However she also knew that in Italy, chrysanthemums were a death flower, given only at funerals.

Part of her couldn’t help but wonder if some unconscious part of Spencer’s genius brain was beginning to feel the same way she did. Three weeks later nothing much had changed in the state of Y/N and Spencer’s romance. She was still unheard of in the eyes of the BAU and two nights prior Spencer had stopped her from calling her mother to tell her about him.

And then Y/N discovered her sick, uneasy, all over body feeling was not just her incredible intuition.

She was pregnant.

She had taken a couple of tests a while prior and could just now get into the doctor to get it confirmed. But it was official. She was pregnant.

As soon as the nurse confirmed it she broke down crying. And when she asked her a couple more questions, she broke down even further. “Are you currently in a relationship?”

“No,” she sniffed.

“Do you know who the father is?”

“I don’t know,” she sobbed.

“Sweetheart, I don’t know where you want to go from here, but there’s a lot more options that you may think. Everything will be okay.”

Y/N still cried the whole way home.

She spent the rest of the day thinking about how to tell Spencer, and then overthinking what he would say.

She knew Spencer loved children, but he couldn’t even manage to tell people she existed, how was he going to explain a long term relationship and a baby?

It would have taken decades for Y/N to prepare to deliver this news, but Spencer showed up at 8:19 pm.

“Hi flower! How are you today?”

“I’m pregnant.” She blurted out, she was not planning to do it exactly like that, but she panicked.

“What?”

“I’m pregnant Spencer.”

He sighed and ran one of his hands through his hair, “You could get an abortion?”

Y/N lost it. “Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me Spencer?”

“I don’t think a baby is going to be very easy to keep a secret Y/N.”

“Is this how far you’re willing to go Spencer? You want to keep me hidden so bad that you want me to get an abortion? Are you insane?”

“You’re right, Y/N, I’m sorry, we’ll figure something out.”

“No, you’re wrong there Spencer. I’ll figure something out.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I can’t do this anymore. I’m done. I love you but, please just get out of my apartment.”

“Y/N please don’t do this, I love you, we can make this work. I know I haven’t been doing the best job for these three weeks, but just give me a little time and I promise we can do this.”

Y/N wiped tears from her eyes, then reached her thumb up to Spencer’s face, wiping his cheek. “Spencer, it’s not a matter of how much I love you or you love me. Sometimes, things just aren’t made to work out. We gave it a good run, but no matter how hard we love each other, I don’t think either of us is happy.”

“But I don’t know how to live in a world without you in it, flower.”

“I’ve never been in your world Spencer, after tonight, nothing in your life will drastically change. You don’t have to worry about living in a universe without me because you’ve already been doing that for 15 months.”

“Please don’t do this, can we just give it another try?”

Y/N wrapped her arms around him, “That’s all we’ve been doing.”

The couple stayed in silence like that for a couple of minutes before Spencer spoke. “Can we just stay here for one night. I can’t believe I never got to do it.” Spencer had never spent the full night at Y/N’s place because he always worried that he would forget to answer his phone and the team would try to come to his apartment to tell him they had a case.

“You know we can’t do that Spencer,” she sighed, knowing she had to stay strong and act on her own best interest, but she also loved Spencer. “But you can stay here, if you want.”

He thought for a moment. “Okay, um do I need that key you always offered me? To lock up when I leave?”

“No, the front door locks automatically when you close it, you just have to make sure you have everything before you go.”

And so Spencer slept in Y/N’s bed, for the first time, without her in it.

And Y/N called the one person she knew Spencer would never try to track her down to to avoid exposing himself.

Penelope Garcia.

She of course let Y/N stay with her for the night, and although she would eventually, Garcia did not pry when Y/N said she didn’t want to talk about what was going on. So Y/N walked to her apartment with peace of mind, she knew that although she had a lot to think about, for the time being everything was going to be just fine.

On the way to Penelope’s apartment, Y/N saw a flower vendor. She couldn’t help but stop by and pick up a bouquet for Penelope, but more so for the symbolic meaning.

Daffodils and daisies.

The flowers of new beginnings.

“I'd kiss you as the lights went out Swaying as the room burned down I'd hold you as the water rushes in If I could dance with you again”

- Thank you for reading! Please reblog and let me know what you think :))

holly’s tiny taglist: @reidingmelodies @hercleverboy

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holylulusworld · 4 years

Text

Time travel and heartbreak

Request: Could you do an fic, about Steve and the reader where they are together and neither one of them gets snapped, but Steve gets a chance to go back to Peggy in the time jump And he does, leaving the reader behind. However, you think is best!

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader, Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter (mentioned/brief), Bucky Barnes x Reader, Sam Wilson x Reader (platonic)

Characters: Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, Wanda Maximoff, Ofc’s

Warnings: angst, heartbreak, unrequited love, abandonment, accidents, coma, medical procedures (I am not a doctor), pregnancy, mentions of miscarriage (nothing graphic), sadness, hurt reader, soft Bucky, language, did I mention angst?, Steve being the Russo brothers asshole (I still hate you for pulling that shit!), comforting, fluff

Two months earlier,

“I am always honest,“ ocean blue eyes looked down at you while his large hands cradled your face to bring you close to his lips. “I’ll be back soon,” he said knowing it would be the last time he will see you.

“Steve, please be careful,” you pressed your lips to his, desperate, almost crying as he seemed to want to get away from you as fast as possible. “I love you, Steve.”

“Love you too, doll,” that he used the pet name was an indication something is wrong. Steve always used your name when he said those three meaningful words but back then, he said ‘doll’ and your heart sank.

One look at Bucky, the guilt too prominent on your friend's face and you knew, just knew this was the last kiss you shared with Steve for a lifetime.

“Lying bastard,” you screamed at Steve before he disappeared, leaving you numb, heartbroken, and all alone.

“Y/N, doll,” Bucky tried to stop you but one look into your eyes told him to take a step away, give you time and space. “He told me this morning; I swear.”

“You’ve got a fine friend, Buck,” you huffed, wiping a single tear away. “Didn’t he promise to you till the end of the line?”

“He did,” your friend choked out, giving you a sad smile before he replaced it with a frown. “I am sorry, Y/N, please believe me.”

“I do, Bucky but,” sniffling you squeezed Bucky’s flesh hand, not wanting to cry in front of your friends. “I need time to overthink a few things. I’ll be back soon.”

“You know, he left me for a better version of me, doll. What does this make me?” Bucky was left in a world he was still strange to by his only friend. “The broken toy?”

“We are the same, Bucky,” you whispered, gently caressing Bucky’s cheek. “We both are not enough for him. He will always dream of glorious times with his original friend and her. We were only substitutes, my friend.”

Bucky let you go, not wanting to drag you into the hole he will hide in for weeks, months, or maybe forever.

“She’s one in a million. Steve will be happy when he comes back,” Sam said, unbeknownst of the heartbreak Bucky and you felt at that moment.

“Sure, he will Sam. If you excuse me, I got places to be or not,” Bucky ran off, not wanting to witness your friend’s reaction when Steve does not return.

Now,

“Please, doll you got to wake up,” sniffling Bucky holds your hand while his eyes are glued to the machines keeping you alive. “You can’t just leave me too.”

“Mr. Barnes, she’s in an artificial coma to help her body recover and give the baby a chance,” the doctor explains and Bucky inhales sharply.

“How’s the baby? I haven’t seen her for like two months,” choking on his words his grip on your hand tightens. “Will the baby survive?”

“All we can say for now is that Ms. Y/L/N has a subdural hematoma. It is not unusual after a car accident, Mr. Barnes,” opening your file the doctor swallows thickly.

“A subdural hematoma develops if there's bleeding into the space between the skull and the brain caused by damage to the blood vessels of the brain or the brain itself,” Bucky nods, not understanding everything the doctor said.

“We hope it won’t add too much pressure on the brain to cause brain damage. I need to interfere before this happens.”

“A surgery,” the doctor nods, giving Bucky a sympathetic look. “Can she and the baby survive surgery?”

“I hope for the best, Mr. Barnes. All we can do now is wait, pray, and hope for the best. If not, we will have to take the pressure off her brain as fast as possible.”

Leaving Bucky alone the doctor looks at Sam who silently enters the room.

“How is she holding up, James?”

“Not good,” Bucky wipes a few tears away, looking at Sam who cannot find the right words. It is not as if he and Bucky were friends before they got dusted but somehow, he feels responsible for the man holding your hand.

“Doc said she needs surgery if the pressure gets too much. He didn’t answer my question about the baby, though.”

“Baby,” Sam shakes his head, sitting opposite Bucky to take your other hand. “Listen, girl, we are here, okay. Even if Cap left you, Bucky, me, and the others are still here to help you. All you must do is to fight, for you, the baby, and the old man holding your hand. He’s alone too, you know.”

“I’m used to being alone,” Bucky murmurs, not letting go of your hand. “How could he leave her knowing about the baby?”

“You think he knew?” quirking a brow Sam searches Bucky’s face.

“I don’t know him anymore, okay. He spent almost five years trying to bring you, me, and the others back only to leave us without saying goodbye.

Steve lied straight to Y/N’s face before he stepped onto the platform. So yes, I fucking believe he left her knowing about the baby,” Bucky’s voice cracks hearing Sam calling your name when your blood pressure falls.

“Get the doctor!”

“The pressure is back to normal, the surgery was a success but we will monitor her and the baby day and night,” Bucky is pacing in front of the intense care while Sam tries to get as much information out of the doctor as possible.

“Buck, please calm. You are making me damn nervous,” Sam sighs, not able to stop Bucky from pacing. He is wildly gesturing toward your room, not liking the way the doctor tries to keep him away from you.

“Mr. Barnes, I am sorry but right now Ms. Y/L/N is in a critical state. No visitors but the nurses and my team. We will do anything to save her and the baby’s life,” Sam nods, shaking the doctor's hand before he joins Bucky.

“I’ll wait here all day and night, Sam,” stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest Bucky will not move an inch.

“Same, Buck.”

One month later,

“She looks better, doesn’t she,” Bucky tries while Wanda carefully touches your cheek. She smiles softly at your dreams, the ones she will never tell anyone about.

Silly dreams of you dancing with Steve barefoot in your kitchen while an old song he loved, the one he wanted to dance to with Peggy, plays in the background. Your child plays in the backyard while all your friends call the faceless child’s name.

It is a pleasant dream, helping your mind heal, just like your body but Wanda can’t stop the tears running down her face.

“Wanda, what’s wrong? Is she in pain?” Bucky desperately grasps for your hand.

“No, Bucky she is at peace in her dreams,” Wanda sniffles, giving Bucky a sad smile. “She dreamed of her child and I just…”

“I don’t know what to tell her when she wakes up either, Wanda. How can I tell her she lost the baby, the only thing left of Steve in her life?” Bucky chokes out.

Sam hides his face in the palms of his hands. “Steve doesn’t even know what he lost a month ago.”

Silence fills the room when Bucky gets up to look out of the window. He barely found the time to think about his lost friend, or rather he did not allow himself to think about him.

“I bet he wouldn’t care, Sam,” Bucky’s words are final, and he does not hide the bitterness behind his statement. “I wanted to visit him, the old Steve, but I can’t. Not yet.”

Again, silence weighs heavy on the friends, only watching your chest rise and fall, rise and fall until Wanda can’t stop the sob leaving her lips.

“How could he leave us behind? I believed in him, lost my brother, my home and still, I followed him,” her voice cracks looking at Sam who joined Bucky to look out of the window.

“I don’t know, Wanda,” Sam tries to calm the angry redhead, but she stomps out of the room, silently closing the door. “She’s hurt like everyone else. I guess it’s on me to tell him about his loss.”

“I can’t face him yet, Sam,” Bucky turns to look at you, a soft smile tugging on his lips. “If he would’ve stayed there could be a smile on her lips and a baby under her heart.”

Another month later,

“I am worried Y/N,” Bucky gently strokes your hair while the physical therapist tries to help you lift your leg. “You shouldn’t look so good after four months at a hospital.”

You giggle lightly, even raise your fist to weakly punch Bucky’s upper arm. “Y…you,” searching for the right word you sigh, “look good. Short hair.”

Bucky nods, taking your hand to press a soft kiss to your skin. “I know I look dapper with short hair doll but do not fall for me,” giving you a wink Bucky smirks as the therapist chuckles lightly.

“We are done for today, Ms. Y/L/N,” the therapist says. “I’ll leave you in your visitors’ capable hands, ma’am.” Nodding you watch the young man leave the room, rolling your eyes.

“I get it, you are pissed it wasn’t me touching your legs,” Bucky teases, covering your lower half with a blanket. “You have to be patient, Y/N. The doctor said your brain and body still need time to recover.

“…know,” sighing you clumsily turn to your left side, “Bucky…” sniffling you touch your belly, looking up at your friend. “…gone.”

“I know and I am so sorry, sweetheart,” whispering the words he sits onto the bed, helping you to cry into his chest. “I am here, Sam and the others too. You’ll never be alone, Y/N.”

Two months later,

“Look at our champion, Sam,” cheering you on, a big smile plastered on his face Bucky watches you walk toward them without any help. “I knew you will make it, doll.”

You do not say anything, just walk toward Bucky, the only person keeping you going as his heartbreak matches your own.

“You’re a good trainer, Barnes,” his smile grows when you peck his cheek before you let him help you back into the wheelchair you still need.

“She’s getting better and I think, it’s time to show her the new tower. Stark would be proud,” Sam stumbles over his words, smiling sadly as silence fills the room.

“Tony, he always liked to make you smile, you know. He was,” Sam’s voice cracks now and you nod, wiping a few tears away.

Two weeks later,

“Whoa, Pepper did a great job,” looking up at the tower, you smile as Bucky wraps his arm tightly around your waist to steady your body. “She’s as impressive as Tony.”

“He would be proud of her,” your eyes shine remembering your lost friends as their features look down at you, adorning the towers façade.

“I got the feeling Stark’s eyes follow me,” Bucky jokes, breaking the awkward moment. “I mean, he had a huge ego and now there is a huge picture of him painted onto the façade.”

“It’s a hologram according to Bruce,” Sam corrects, and you chuckle at the bitchface Bucky throws at Sam. “I mean, that’s a difference, Barnes.”

“Smartass,” grunting the word Bucky leads you toward the tower. Wanda is already waving at you pointing at Morgan who runs toward you a smile on her face.

“Auntie Y/N,” the girl sniffles holding out her hands. “I am glad you are no longer sleeping beauty.”

Bucky laughs at her words, still, his heart hurts as you lost months of your life and your baby only for Steve being happy in another lifetime.

Three months later,

“It’s been a while,” whispering the words you look at Bucky who nods silently.

There is comfort only he can give you. Maybe as you are two wounded souls, hurt by the very same man. “I feel like I cheated on him.”

The kiss was short, sweet and all you could ask for but there is this feeling in your guts as if you betrayed Steve.

Your brain knows you are wrong as said man left your months ago for another woman, but your heart was not able to catch up, as it missed the chance to process that you got left behind.

“That’s normal. You were in a coma, could not cry, scream, or throw things around as the accident took this from you,” Bucky understands you, tries to pull away but you shake your head, pressing your lips to his warm pillows again.

“We won’t let him take this away from us too, Buck. He can go and rot in hell or dance all his life with that woman he left us for,” voice trembling you touch Bucky’s cheek.

“I will not give you up.”

“Same, doll,” Bucky stammers before he feels your arms wrap around his neck. “I loved you since I met you.”

Two years later,

“I know it took me long to come here,” whispering the words you lean back, watching a squirrel run toward a tree.

“Will you ever forgive me,” Steve or rather his aged version rasps, glancing at you folding your hands.

You slowly get up, looking into the distance. “I forgive you for being a selfish bastard and I have to thank you at the same time,” you smile as Steve wrinkles his forehead.

“I don’t understand,” Steve whispers.

“You gave me the chance to be free again. I had the chance to find the love of my life thanks to you,” you look at Bucky waiting at the end of the park, your baby boy in his arms.

“I got my husband, my son and a baby girl on her way,” you peck Steve’s cheek, turning to leave.

��The only thing I'll never forgive you is that due to the heartbreak you willingly caused I had an accident, lost months of my life, and,” you sniffle silently, “our baby.”

“Baby!” Steve chokes out, feeling his heart break at the thought he could’ve had it all - with you.

“I hope she was worth it, Steve. I hope, from the depths of my heart, you had a wonderful life with her.”

One last time you look at Steve before you are the one walking away, leaving him behind...

All works Tags

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Steve Rogers/Chris Evans Tags

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Bucky Barnes/Sebastian Stan Tags

@rynabarnesrogers

@marshyrebelcloud

@buchanan-lover

@rosalynshields

#tw: miscarriage #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #angst #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #post endgame #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #sam wilson #bucky x you #steve x reader #steve x y/n #former steve rogers x reader

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none-gender-left-beef · 3 years

Text

is it really so much to ask for someone to love my broken ass? i’m so sick of being single and giving all of my love to someone who doesn’t want it and will never reciprocate. I just want someone to love me the way I love others. I just want someone to care about me. I want someone to listen to me and hold me and make me feel less alone. I want someone to remind me i’m not a burden when my brain tells me I am. I want to give someone love and have them accept it and appreciate it and appreciate me and fall in love with me the way I fall in love with them. I want someone to stay up late with me and listen to my midnight thoughts. I want to tell someone about my hopes and dreams and not have them judge me for it. I want to dance around the kitchen at 3 am in the light of the refrigerator. I want someone to lay in a field with me and watch the stars and name them after each other. I want to go on picnics. I want to hold hands and go on long walks. I want to take spontaneous weekend trips. I want to go to build a bear and make each other stuffed animals with our voices saying “I love you”. I want someone to kiss me on the forehead when i’m not expecting it. I want to fall asleep entangled in someone. I want matching rings or bracelets or necklaces or something of the like. I want to write poetry about how much I love someone. and trust them enough to share it with them. I want to develop inside jokes that only we could understand. I want to sing love songs together. I want to do art projects together. I want to dress up nice and go out and sing karaoke. I want to watch sunsets with someone. I want to dream about forever. I want a love that lasts. I want a safe person. I want to binge watch tv shows under a blanket and share a bag of popcorn. I want to go to parks and swing on the swings and see who can go higher. I want to have ice cream while we walk on the pier. I want to climb trees and hang in them away from everybody else. I want to go on dates to dinner and a movie. I want to open myself up to someone who’s able and willing to handle me. I want someone I can come home to after a long day. I want to debate meaningless things like throw pillows and decorative lighting choices. I want to go to concerts and festivals and carnivals and laugh. I want to watch sunrises and sunsets. I want to go all out decorating for holidays. I want to have a person who feels like home.

But i’m not worth any of that, am I?

#personal #unrequited yearning #unrequited love #yearning #lusting #wlw #nblw #lonliness #i give up #no one wants me #i’m unlovable #i’m toxic #i’m not with it #im better off alone

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alreadyblondenow · 4 years

Text

Mark, this is how we broke up

idol!Mark Lee x reader // SMUT, FLUFF, ANGST (?) Summary: She taught him how to fuck but there’s so much more going on in their relationship. Word Count: 6k Warnings: Sex, Sex, Sex, actual sex and mentions of sex, filthy, mentions of rough sex, mentions of forced sex, emotionally unstable Mark, slightly addicted to sex, Mentions of other idols, mentions of birth control side effects, mentions of pregnancy, unprotected sex and protected sex, cursing, mature or at least trying to be Note: inspired by the recent breakup that I had. There’s no way that this ‘might’ be true. We all know Mark is a nice boy. If you’re not okay with any of the warning please click away.

“Ohh- Mark! Right there!”

“Right here? Hmm?” Mark puts more pressure on her clit and eventually pinches it to make her sensitive. Her legs closed and she received a juicy smack on her ass, “Why are you closing your legs? Don’t you like what I’m doing, huh?” his mouth is near her ear, every heavy breath, groan or moan from him goes directly to her ear and straight to her pussy.

With all the energy she still have, she praises Mark while he continues to fuck her senseless. Both of his hands are on the side of her head, having a full view of Mark’s ethereal visuals. Blonde sex hair flowing as he moves back and forth, his thin silver necklace dangling on his neck, his face completely contorted as he fucks her good.

Mark leans on her to suck on her boobs putting her completely on edge and is about to have a great orgasm. Mouth formed an ‘o’ shape, her hands raking Mark’s arms as she ask him to “please stop” but Mark will only stop when he wants to. Because of her high pitch moan and sharp exhales, Mark knew she had a great orgasm which feeds his pride more.

Gritting his teeth, he lifted his hips and gave her sharp quick thrusts while she’s still sensitive from her previous orgasms. “Hold on just a bit, I’m almost there” he whispers. He fucks the girl like he’s proving something, catching his own release and making the girl beneath him cry from over stimulation. He groaned a little too loud, but he doesn’t care. It’s his own damn apartment.

Removing his cock inside her throbbing hole, Mark rolls to the side and discarded the condom, throwing it to the trash near his bed. He watches the girl shiver beside him, closing her legs tight to ease the sensitivity. With one touch of Mark’s cold fingers on her shoulder, the girl let out a whine. “Relax, I’m just helping you calm down and cover your body” he said as he covers the girl with his thick blue sheets.

Head resting on the headboard with both of his hands pillowing his head, the room was cold and quiet as Mark lay beside her naked with a soft cock. “I’m a hooker but, you’re something- there’s something to the way you fuck” she started a conversation after calming down. “It’s getting late, I’ll call you a cab” he avoids the subject politely.

After the hooker left, Mark feels lonely again in his big apartment. Thinking about what the hooker told him earlier. It made him have flashbacks he didn’t want to have. He’s lonely enough right now, he can’t afford to think about you. But it’s too late. He’s now swimming to the happy memories he had with you, trying so hard not to think about how he ruined a once in a lifetime relationship and just focused on how your smile gives warmth to his heart.

“I miss you, y/n” he murmurs before he drifts into sleep, hoping to dream about you.

FOUR YEARS AGO

You’re starting your new life in Korea with a job at one of the country’s biggest company, SM Entertainment as part of NCT’s creative team specifically on fashion deparment. The job was stressful and tiring but theres nothing you could not handle, you love what you do. Working for NCT made you love the members like your own brother, all except for one member. Mark Lee.

It all started when you realised that Mark is not a boy anymore but a man who wants to gain experience with mature stuff. You and Mark eye each other during music video and vlog shoots and you both grew fondly, sneakily hold hands under the table during company dinners, texting and calling nonstop when you don’t see each other for weeks.

Mark has always been sweet to you and he’s not ashamed to show you how he feels. One time they used flowers as props for the shoot and Mark secretly put a flower near your stuff with a note, “You did well today.” He bought Starbucks drinks for all the staffs so he could give you your favorite drink freely and without hiding, “Noona, this is for you. Fighting for today.” Whenever other members are flirting with you, he will stop the members from bugging you and tell them, “Noona already has a boyfriend, don’t bother flirting” and it always makes you blush how Mark is so overprotective.

You and Mark became more than friends but less than lovers for almost half a year. And Mark’s constant want to make you feel love pushed him to ask you out officially. Taking you on private dates around Seoul, making time for you and letting the members and his manager know about your relationship.

Since you’re Mark’s first girlfriend, he’s not a perfect boyfriend. At least not yet. He always picks up a fight with you, decides recklessly when it comes to your relationship, and he’s moving so fast. “I’m just saying that if we start living together, we will fight less and we can have more time together” he said as he argues to you on the phone.

You don’t answer him because it’s useless, he will somehow get what he wants because he has the money, and you love him. Mark let out sharp exhale on the phone, “Okay I’m sorry. I’m being childish again. I’ll stop by at your apartment after dance practice. I love you”

He arrived at 11pm in your apartment with his manager. “Take care of him y/n, he has a headache. A bad one. Overworked I guess” his manager said before leaving you and Mark. Your boyfriend kiss you on the lips and greeted you, “Hi” weak and sleepy, Mark hugged you tight.

While watching him eat dinner he tells you everything about his day at work, how he’s preparing for three comebacks these past few months and he needs to finish writing four songs in two weeks. “Good thing I have you by the end of the day, right?” he said after finishing his meal. You hand him some painkillers for his headache, “Yes. Now, come to bed with me. No more working please, Mark. Even the best people in the world rest at night” realising that you’re right, he nods and let you take him to your bedroom.

“What will I do without you” he whispers to you before going to sleep with you.

The thing is, many people don’t know that Mark is actually vulnerable and emotionally unstable. Sometimes he’s not confident with his songs and he needs you to help him write because he only trusts what you say. If you say this phrase is good, or you honestly don’t like the words in this song he will take your word from it. That’s how much he depends on you. And sometimes, it puts you in a hard position because Mark is depending on you all the time is a heavy responsibility.

It’s like he really can’t get everything done without you or without your opinion. It’s not that he doesn’t trust the other members, it just so happens that your opinion matters above anything else.

Mark may be too sweet and gentle most of the time, but he’s horny for you. Really horny. Whenever you’re alone with him in your apartment he always initiates having sex and you always say no and he respects that. You’re definitely not a virgin anymore and you have way too much experience, but Mark doesn’t. It’s not a problem of course, but you just wan’t to take it slow. Wait for the perfect time to finally have sex.

Mark being the virgin in this relationship and the one who lacks experience, he tries so hard to ruin his innocence before the day you two finally have sex. Watching tons of porn and take notes to some stuff he can do with you, working out more so he can at least look good in bed.

Sure you’ve done other stuff together, from making out wherever and whenever to giving oral to each other in the morning or before you both go to sleep. Back when Mark saw you half naked in bed for the first time he didn’t know how to touch you, you used to teach him how to properly touch you in the way you like to be touched by your boyfriend. Now, he’s the one surprising you in bed whenever your legs are widely spread for him and his head is in between you eating your pussy like there’s no tomorrow.

After dating for nine months, Mark convinced you to live together as your birthday gift to him. “Please, you know how much I want live with you” he pout in front of you while you take his body measurements for a new stage costume. He worked hard last year and he bought himself his first own apartment and he told you he wanted to share it with you. How can you refuse that kind of offer when he’s trying so hard to be a part of your life, forever.

You moved in with Mark and you filled his apartment with happy memories, never ending laughter and giggles because he’s a funny guy. The kitchen became a learning place for him because you teach him how to cook almost everyday and he’s doing great. Peaceful mornings are both your favorite, it makes him feel like a normal person who cooks breakfast for you and waking up with his girlfriend in his arms is something not normal for an idol.

“This place is our safe place, only for us. No fan service for me, no boss for you to please. Just Mark and Y/n.”

Lately work is not giving you a hard time and so does Mark. You two always go home together, spend more time together, and finally had the perfect time to be more intimate. It’s been like this for almost a week already, It’s a Friday night and after having dinner and taking a warm bath before bed, you and Mark found each other in the middle of bed cuddling. Hands intertwined and legs all tangled up.

“What if I tell you, we could finally have sex tonight?” you asked him. Ruffling his damped hair from his hot shower.

“I’d say, ‘tsk. don’t tease me’” he said with a small smile in his face. His breath touches your cheeks because you’re too close with each other.

“No, seriously we can”

He pull away from your embrace, just a little to look at your face if you’re serious. “Scratch that, I’d say ‘what’s gotten into you?’” he dives in for a slow kiss, cupping your face with one hand while the other is still intertwined with yours.

Seeing you unbutton your sleepwear made him realise that you’re serious. He kissed you more and removes his shirt and sweat pants leaving him with only his boxer briefs. You on the other hand is exposed wearing only your white panties.

Feeling excited and a bit nervous, Mark slowly crawled in between your legs and he looks handsome than ever. It’s not your first time but you feel like a virgin again, that untouched seventeen year old. Mark smiled at you before he removes your panties, watching his own hands slide your underwear down.

He came close to you just beside your ear giggling like a little boy, “I’m nervous” he said and proceeds to kiss your neck. It seems like he knew exactly what he was doing, but you can’t blame him for being honest. “I’ll be vocal as possible” he hums in approval and continues to kiss every inch of your body.

He managed to remove his boxer briefs while licking your wet pussy, your eyes are closed and your hands are tugging his soft hair. Moaning his name whenever his tongue hits a good spot, putting more pressure and intensity bringing you to your first orgasm. Mark became really good at giving you oral you thought.

“I think you’re ready” he whispered as he grabs the condom on the drawer beside the bed. While you watch him roll the condom on his cock, your heart skipped a beat when he faced you and hold your legs open. The next thing you know, he’s slamming his dick in your pussy making you shout and jolt your hips beneath him, “Ah! Easy- baby, Im not going anywhere!”

The whole time you were having sex, he was not minding about your pleasure. He was so focused on his own sweet release and he can see that you’re not liking it but you let him continue.

Given that it’s Mark’s first time, the first round didn’t go well. “Do you want me to takeover?” you feel bad about it, but to be honest you wan’t Mark to never forget this night the night he losses his virginity. He hugs you tight while he’s on top of you feeling really ashamed of what he just did.

“There’s no need to feel shy baby. We have all night and a lot of days to have great sex. Come on, I’ll ride you” he’s still not moving and still hugging you tight, caressing your hair and enjoying your warm body beneath him.

“Okay baby, I need to breath. You’re heavy ugh-“ you tricked him and he didn’t have a choice but to pull away. You laughed and switched positions, putting your legs on both sides of his hips wetting his cock with you wet pussy. He felt your pussy raw for the first time and he loves it, holding your hips and as you slowly grind on top of him. “I got you” you leaned forward to give him a peck on on the lips.

His right arm swings to his head, as if he can’t believe what’s happening. Moaning your name so deliciously, “Oh, it feels good” he said with an airy tone. His mouth is open the whole time you were grinding on his cock, stopping himself from cumming too early. You grabbed a new condom on the drawer, and rolled it on his hard cock.

“Now put inside me” you said oh so sexily. With shaking hands, he lines his cock to your cunt and he watched how your pussy swallow his thick cock and let out a soft ‘fuck’ when it fully disappeared. You smile on top of him as you wait for yourself to get used from the stretch before moving. Both of your hands are on his chest as you watch him moan and move his head from side to side while you clench and unclench your pussy.

“I’m not going to last long if you keep doing that” he voiced out, you only let out a small chuckle.

“Try to stop cumming so early and enjoy it, Mark” you finally move your hips, grinding slowly, fucking him like how he deserves to be fucked. Mark’s hands grips on your hips so tightly the whole time you were fucking him slowly, making sure he won’t forget this moment. He’s peeking from his lashes, trying to get a look at you while you fuck him for the first time in his life.

“I’m glad you’re my first fuck” he said, trying to smile at you with hooded eyes, head rolled back to the pillows on his head and looking so fucking hot as he enjoys the pleasure you’re giving right now.

When you’ve had enough of slow fucking him, you tighten you grip on his shoulder and doubled your pace. Making you both moan each other’s name, his cock is finally making you feel good. You feel Mark’s cock twitch inside you and leaned closer to him, kissing him passionately as you bring him to edge.

To your surprise he bit your lower lip when he finally reached his climax with mouth open, eyes closed and brows furrowed. You smiled beneath him as you watch him cum and shiver, his hands still gripping both of your ass cheeks.

As he slowly open his eyes, he gave you a sweet smile and his tight grip became soft touches around your back. You flop on top of him as he caress your hair again. “How’s that for our first time?” you asked him, still weak from his orgasm.

“I still feel bad because I can’t fuck you good though” he said, but he looks happy now. You switched positions again so he could have the honour of pulling out after having a mind blowing orgasm. Slowly pulling out his dick, Mark watched your pussy stretched while he pull out. Kissing it like it’s your lips and apologising for not making you cum using his dick, on your first night having sex.

“Thank you for this. I mean, I should be the one making it special for you. But I failed and like, I really feel bad about it but like, I don’t know. Somehow it went wrong” he pulls the thick sheets to cover your naked bodies and lay beside you. Keeping you close and admiring your beautiful face.

“It’s not like you didn’t tried making me feel good, baby. You made me feel good too, I wouldn’t be wet the entire time if-“ in the middle of your explanation he put a finger on your slit and checked if you’re telling the truth and if you’re still good to go for another round. “you startled me” you said, enjoying the way his fingers move slowly.

“Want to give me a second chance?”

Without hesitation, you nod your head and kissed Mark sloppily. Mark is a fast learner, you didn’t know but the whole time you were fucking him earlier he was observing how you want things. He found out that he should take things slow, entering your tight pussy and looking directly in your eyes this time, “Mark, how did you know I’m in love with your eyes? Ah! fuck!” his hips moves slow and it feels way better than the first and second time.

The third round made Mark a little confident on fucking you, he made you moan his name, grip his shoulder, close your eyes and open your mouth as you ask for more. He was asking you how can he make you feel better even though you’re already batshit losing your mind on how good he feels inside you.

‘How fast do you want me to go? Hmm?’ ‘Baby, can I bite your nipples?’ ‘Clench all you want baby, I won’t cum before you do I promise’ ‘Want me to kiss you here? Okay’

‘What? You want another round after this? Me too’

“I love you” he whispered while thrusting with a steady pace that you specifically asked. Kissing you while he wait for a response. He chuckled and felt proud when he saw you smile and out of words. Finally, he made you cum using his dick, with a little help of his fingers putting on your clit.

Feeling so accomplished before he finally sleep after using all five condoms that he have. He hugged you tight and whispered how in love he is with you but you’re already sleeping. Kissing you good night as you don’t know how happy Mark Lee is.

After that unforgettable night, you and Mark have sex almost everyday and just as you expected he became more confident in bed and even more sexier as each day passes. Sometimes he can be a little bit more filthier and rougher in bed, like that one time when he spits on your pussy, putting back your panties on and fucked you good wearing those ruined panties.

And that one time when he was so tired from practice, he fucked you really rough that night. Skipping foreplay and slamming his hard cock inside your dry pussy, “Mark! I’m not yet ready” you said as you try pushing his body away from you but he said, “I don’t care” in the most sexiest way ever and it turned you on. He apologised later after that night and he never did it again, because he knew it was wrong. But you said you liked it and it was pretty hot.

The members noticed Mark’s glow whenever you two had a great fuck from the night before and they always tease him for not being a baby anymore. His experience with sex made him write more songs about it. About you. Which the managers loved without a doubt and because of that Mark goes home to you every night with a big smile. Tired but happy.

You stopped using condoms when you finally took birth control shots. Having sex without a condom is new to Mark but this time, everything went well. You completely can’t get enough of each other, you passed out that night from too much fucking.

During his back to back to back comebacks and preparations with NCT 127 and SuperM, you both had busy schedules and stressful days because of work. And he comes home tired, sometimes frustrated and mad. You had sex more often because of stress and usually Mark is the one asking for it. Day and night, before you both leave for work and at night before you sleep.

If theres peace, chaos will somehow enter your lives. The side effects of the birth control shots was ten times harder than taking a normal birth control pill and it’s causing the fight in your relationship most of the time. Whenever Mark wants to have sex but you don’t because you don’t feel well due to the side effects, he sometimes make his way to you and convince you eventually. “You won’t move, I promise to do all the work” but the sex itself makes you sick even more.

You wanted to stop taking the birth control shot but Mark insist, telling you that it’s much safer than condoms. The thought of Mark getting you pregnant would brought chaos to the world, both of your careers would be ruined plus neither one of you is ready to be a parent. So you did it for Mark, you continued taking the birth control shot even though you really don’t want to.

He’s not always like this, he’s only an asshole whenever he’s really really stressed at work which happens thrice a week, and the fight will usually last a week long. This happened during the preparation for Kick It era and Punch era and SM were making you both work like crazy.

Sometimes Mark sleeps at the dorms after yelling at you and picking a fight with you, “I make time so we could spend quality time together but you always make me feel like shit by refusing to make love and spend time with me. I don’t get you anymore!”

And sometimes you force yourself to work overtime just so you could forget the fight and have a breather. “Stay mad all you want, I don’t care I have work to do”

Most of the time it’s always job over the relationship and you notice Mark’s slight addiction on having sex with you. Not that he became a sex addict, no. Maybe he’s just really stress and he depends to you a lot, that’s why.

Even though the red flags were all bright and waving, you just brush it off and still stay with Mark. But one time you tried telling it to him, and he didn’t take it well. Anger clouded his mind, “Just tell me to stop having sex with you and stop accusing me.” It hurts when Mark doesn’t listen to what you feel and seeing him leave for practice without even looking to you straight up makes your heart ache.

When you didn’t come home because of work one night and Mark stayed up late waiting for you, the thought of you not living with him anymore and you leaving him in general scared the shit out of him. He went back to SM building to apologise, only to find you sleeping soundly in a small couch, curled up to an uncomfortable position but you’re tired already.

“Baby” he woke you in the most quiet way possible not wanting your officemates to wake up and see him. Thankfully your sleep was not that deep and you heard Mark’s whispers, “Mark?” you whisper back.

“Come home, please?” you came home with him without hesitation, scared that the other employees might see him if he stayed longer in public with you.

Mark always find a way to talk it out and make amends. He will need you and you will always understand him and everything will be peaceful for a few days or if you get lucky, weeks. But life will always find a way to make you two fight and make up, and do it over and over again. Breaking up was never a solution, Mark knew that all too well. He can’t live without you.

Sex feels good again lately and you haven’t fought for over three weeks already. He’s been incredibly sweet and caring, taking you out on dates and helping you with work whenever he can. Honestly you’ve been pretty worried about him, he’s been having anxiety and worries about his songs lately. Even questioning his own profession, ‘What if being an idol is not for me? Like, what if I have a different calling that’s why I suck at what I do now?” Mark throwing you questions like this makes you love him harder. Pouring every support you can give to him and stretch your patience more for him. His mental health becomes more and more unstable and it went on like this for roughly half a year already.

The past few months were quiet as if peace has taken over your lives again. Mornings became more peaceful and Mark makes love with you instead of just having sex for the sake of stress release. Kick It and Punch were both successful, now you’re both enjoying your long awaited rest eating watermelons in bed. Even though you’re both aware about Mark’s unstable mental state, life can still be sweet and beautiful because of the love you share.

“I’d trade any moment for peaceful times like this with you” he said, “our second year anniversary is coming” he scrunched his nose in front of you while munching. “I have the best gift for you and you won’t guess it this time” he speaks proud and you smirk at him, feeling excited about it. “I don’t want anything in this world. Just never leave me” he added.

Rest days are always your favorite because you two can stay in bed the whole day, watch Netflix, sing in the shower together for almost two hours, dates around Seoul, shopping together, have lazy sex, have filthy sex. In other words, no calls from work or idol schedules for Mark.

“Are you trying to get me pregnant?” you giggle as you brush Mark’s hair away from his face. Feeling his soft skin against yours, touching his muscles while you come down from your high.

“Maybe” kiss, “what if I am?” kiss, “I miss having fun like this in bed with you” kiss. Mark is siting in bed with you on top of him, sitting on his lap. His head in resting on the head board, arms around your body. He has a full view of your boobs and your glowing face.

“You know I like seeing you cum on top of me” you hum in approval, “three more rounds? What do you say?” he waits for your answer, not forcing you this time. Making sure he won’t do what he did from the past that made you hate him and cry in bed. Mark almost lost you that night.

Of course you want three more rounds in bed with Mark. “That’s my girl” he licks the valley between your boobs, hugging you close as you use his cock inside you for your own sweet release. Arms around his neck, you push him closer to your chest as he bites your nipples and eventually sucking them. “Mark, that feels good” you moan to make sure he won’t stop doing what he’s doing.

“C-close, Mark I’m close”

He lowers your body as he takes over on thrusting in you on top of his lap. Gripping and tugging anything you could find in bed as he fucks you senseless making your boobs bounce in front of him, lust taking over him fully. “Fuuuck!” you screamed and quickly hugged him to stop, he got the message. Hands caressing your bare back as you shiver on top of Mark’s lap, legs weak as you flop back down to the mattress making Mark giggle and draw small circles on your nipple as he lays beside you. After two more rounds, you begged him for one more round and ride him good as a thank you for making you feel good the whole night.

“My stylist said I should go for a striking pink for SuperM comeback, I don’t know if that will suit me… Will it? Do you think I should go for it?” again with his dependancy to you.

Mark is at a hair salon with Taeyong getting their hair done and ready for SuperM comeback happening in less than a week. Hearing that he will have a striking pink hair made you stop what you’re doing and imagine what he would look like. “Are you sure this is not about loving watermelons?” He giggled through the phone, “No.”

When he came home with a striking pink hair, you laughed at him but deep inside he looks handsome. “Well, you look yummy” you kissed him and smelled his hair. He picked you up bridal style and ran to your shared bedroom and tickled you until you cry tears of joy.

Tomorrow is your second anniversary and you can’t spend it together because he’s busy with SuperM promotions. Mark is a simple man who likes simplicity and nothing too fancy in life so looking for a really good anniversary gift is challenge. But you can’t give up. You decided to buy him a new guitar, similar with the one has but somewhat better and different. Inside the guitar there’s a written simple message that he can read whenever he’s doubting again.

It’s already five in the morning and Mark will leave in fifteen minutes. When you open your eyes, you see a cute Mark Lee kissing you until you wake up. He smells clean, his fingertips are cold against your skin, “Happy anniversary. This is one out of two for my anniversary gift” he slips a silver ring on your left ring finger which perfectly fits.

“It’s a promise ring if you’re wondering. I promise to be a better boyfriend. And I saw your gift by the way. I love it. I can’t wait to use it and sing to you after promotions. Just hang in there okay? I love you”

You went got up and it’s surprisingly cold, still sleepy and tired from last night, you saw a bouquet of flowers on top of the coffee table and a paper that contains Girls Generation’s members signature. Complete and framed. It made you happy and laugh because he used his idol card again just to make you smile over the silliest things.

The SuperM promotions was longer than expected but Mark is having a great time with his Hyungs. While Mark is away you’re work keeps on piling up because the company transferred you from NCT to Red Velvet, which you enjoyed because now you’re making costumes for girls.

You and Mark focused on work and it didn’t made you feel angry in fact, you think that Mark being away can make you focus better at work. You realised that you’re better off away from each other. As days and weeks go by, you think about moving out of Mark’s apartment. But he wouldn’t let you do it so you think of another plan.

Mark has been calling you for days already and you only answer just for the sake of telling him that you’re fine. From there on Mark sensed something wrong and the feeling doesn’t sit well on him. Being far from you makes him overthink stuff and imagine things that has the worst case scenario. Like you, getting tired of him because he’s emotionally unstable.

It’s almost midnight and you were just finishing work when Mark came out of nowhere and surprised you. “Surprise! I’m home! Oh, I’ve missed you so much” he said and showered your cheeks with kisses his hug getting tighter and tighter.

You irritatedly pushed him away.

“Okay- that’s new” he let out a sigh, “What did I do now?”

You crossed your arms and lean on the wall, you don’t know how to say it but you’ve made up your mind. You’re going to leave him. “I’m breaking up with you” He stopped listening after you said it.

“It’s funny how I saw this coming but still I had faith with you! I had faith with you that you will not chose to leave me, but fuck-“ he punched the wall, completely hurting his hand you wanted to come to him so bad and made him stop hurting himself but you can’t. To be honest his ears rang, he was light headed and he feel like throwing up. Tiredness and breakup in the middle of the night is not a good mixture.

“Don’t get me wrong please, I don’t hate you. I want to fix this baby, I tried thinking about about solutions and guess what we already tried everything and were still a mess. It bothers me. Knowing that we all have these problems all along and ignoring it over and over again- it’s bothering me baby. We can’t fix it, we can’t fix us”

Admitting that fighting for the relationship made you tired, is a hard pill to swallow. And it hurts because choosing to love yourself this time will hurt him. His emotional dependancy, the sex, and now you don’t know if you want the same things in life anymore.

You wanted to choose yourself this time and do what’s best for you. Because in the past two years, you’ve doing everything what’s best for Mark and Mark only because that’s how you love him. And leaving him is how you can love yourself.

“A week” he blurted out while you were in the moment of pouring out all your concerns. “A week off baby, let’s give each other some space” he kissed your forehead and left you. After what happened he figured, for sure you don’t want to sleep on the same bed with him.

The space that Mark asked for just made him missed you, it made him realised how he’s been taking your patience for granted and how he’s using every part of your being for his own good. He wanted to fix that. He wanted to fix it so badly.

Looking back over the years, he remembered how you didn’t want to live together but he made you because it’s his birthday wish. ‘Mark how can you ask something like that?’ he told himself, hating himself more.

He remembered how you didn’t want to take birth control shots anymore because you’re having side effects already. And instead of being concerned he got mad at you. Mark told the story to Johnny and he just gave him a ’Tsk. I’m very disappointed’

While forcing himself to write lyrics with Taeyong on a Monday night, he kept on telling Taeyong that he needs your opinion first about the first words that he wrote already. Mark got an earful from Taeyong, ‘you shouldn’t depend on her always! You don’t how heavy it might be for her! Tsk. Do you think she knows anything about what we do here? She has her own profession! She studied years and years for it, how can you do this to her?’ of course Taeyong is always right.

On Wednesday night, you broke up officially with Mark.

“I think we should continue living separately from now on, Mark” you removed the promise ring that he gave you and put it in front of him. He was quiet the whole time, but he understands, blaming himself of course. He understands that now it’s all about you.

“They say if you love someone and they need you don’t leave them, and we hear those words in dramas. But Mark, this isn’t fantasy this is reality that’s really heavy for me. We ignored all the red flags and I think it’s time to let go now”

During your move out, he didn’t showed up and helped you. It’s okay, you thought. You hurt him and he needs time to heal. Clearing your stuff felt like freedom and you thought it was cruel. Cruel for Mark. You feel bad because breaking up really made you feel better.

Looking at the pictures around the apartment, made you feel sad, yes. But leaving it behind and putting them down one by one made you feel free. And again you think it’s cruel because Mark don’t feel the same way, he clearly wanted push through the relationship and you clearly don’t want that.

All the more reason to break up. You don’t want the same things anymore.

Because you did great with NCT and Red Velvet, another great opportunity knocked on your door. A job in Paris. You considered not taking it because of Mark, then you remember that you two have broken up.

He came to your apartment a week after the break up, begging you to come back in his life. “I heard you left SM, baby is it because of me?” you gave him a glass of water and sat beside him, it’s been a week but he already looked like shit. Dark under eyes and no happiness in his eyes.

“Listen to me,” you reached for his hand, “It’s not because of you. I’m finally choosing me. I’m doing what’s best for me and my career. It has nothing to do with you Mark”

He went on and on again about coming back to his life, telling you promises that you know he can keep, but you don’t want to be part of it anymore. “I Promise, I will someday be okay emotionally, I want you to be beside me when that happens. I think breaking up isn’t the solution baby, do you remember how great we are together? We can fix this, we can try and then if it doesn’t work i’ll leave. I’ll never bother you again”

“How can you say breaking up is not the right thing to do now? Mark I’ve honestly never been more peaceful these past few days”

Mark didn’t need to hear other things. What you said made him realised that he used up every chance he could make up with you. He left without saying a word, keeping the pain to himself the whole drive back to the dorms. “Dude, it’s going to be okay. Were here.” Johnny, Hyuck, Taeyong and Jaehyun all listened to him cry at the car not talking to anyone of them.

PRESENT DAY. FOUR YEARS AFTER

Mark still loves you.

................................................. Masterlist

inspired by the recent breakup that I had, please don’t steal my feelings huhu. Enjoy, and thank you so much for reading!

#nct-writers #neowritingsnet #nct smut #mark lee smut #nct mark lee smut #mark lee fluff #nct mark lee fluff #nct fluff #mark lee angst #nct mark lee angst #nct angst #mark lee x reader #idol au #breakup au #nct 127 #nct imagines #nct scenarios

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princess-of-inarizaki · 3 years

Note

So, as I promised, Inarizaki New Year request. Inarizaki boys and manager make party at her place, they prepare dinner, decorate the Christmas tree and her home (twins hang the mistletoe everywhere, but manager-chan is clueless so she doesn't know about kissing tradition), exchange gifts, have sleepover etc. Next day they all go together to the shrine and all boys ask to marry her. And they are EMBARRASSED when manager asks them what they ask.

Ahhh Tilli my love! I'll finally use this as a Christmas and New year one combined (eventho they've both passed a long time ago :) and this will be the final addition to the Inarizaki December series!

Once again, thank you so much for supporting me through it all, and showering love on every day's imagine. I didn't expect to get 100-200 notes on some days, but I did!! And I'm really ever so grateful. I hope you'll stay tuned :D

Inarizaki's manager-chan day 25!!

Late merry Christmas!! 💖 (And happy new year)

☃️

It was finally the seventh day of Christmas.

The day everyone looked forward to, filled with so much cheer and joy. The boys couldn't wait to spend it at your house. (They couldn't spend the actual day of Christmas with you, due to clashes in the schedule), but that's okay. They were here now.

It was unorthodox, to decorate the tree and give gifts days after the 25th, but it didn't matter to you, and if it didn't matter to you, it didn't matter to the boys either.

The house was warm, and you were busy baking cookies. The smell of gingerbread and peppermint floated in the air. Suna snuck up behind you and took a dab of the cookie mixture. “I rate this a 10/10”

Kita glared at him. “Suna that wasn't very hygienic” which only caused you to laugh.

Christmas carols were playing from the small Bluetooth speaker near the tree, and you suddenly felt like dancing. After wiping your hands dry and shutting the oven so the cookies could bake, you pulled Kita to you and placed your hands on his shoulder.

“Dance with me, Kita-san”

His eyes sparkled as his cheeks heated up.

“Of course, my lady.”

And the rest of the members watched enviously as you spun around with Kita in tow. You looked gorgeous, and so undeniably happy.

“My turn!” said Atsumu indignantly as he replaced Kita. He pulled your waist closer to him as he picked you up and twirled you around. Your squeals made his heart beat faster as he gently let you go.

“That's enough dancing for one day, now go decorate the tree or something. These cookies will be done soon and me and y/n need to decorate them.” said the gray haired twin.

The boys nodded as they made their way to the big tree in the living room, whilst you were left alone in the kitchen with Osamu.

Osamu swiped a bit of frosting on your cheek and laughed, as he put on the oven mitts, readying himself to take the cookies out of the oven.

You laughed and licked the frosting off.

Damn. Osamu's brain almost short-circuited, but he pushed such thoughts out of his mind and instead focused on the cookies.

“How shall we ice them?”

You mixed food colouring into the frosting bowls and explained you wanted to ice them according to each of the members.

“We'll use white for Kita! Since he's so dedicated and wonderful, white suits him best. And green for Tsumu, because he makes me feel happy and fresh inside.”

Osamu nodded with a small smile. “And what about me?”

“Purple for you, because I feel comfortable with you, you're basically my home. And red for Rin, because red is a sleepy colour, and I just love napping on his lap.”

“Oh and blue for Aran! He makes me feel safe inside. Orange for Akagi, he's such a cheerful person, he's like my very own sunshine.”

Osamu blushed and stroked your cheek gently. “You're my little home too, ya know that? I'm icing yours pink.”

Pink for the way you make me blush, my love.

You beamed at him and began icing the cookies, delicately and carefully, whilst Osamu iced the other half.

The rest of the boys finished decorating the tree as they took a step back to admire their work.

Suna gently adjusted the baubles, before taking a few pictures. He wanted to capture this moment forever.

Suddenly, you and Osamu came to the room with a mixture of cookies and a few mugs of hot chocolate and marshmallows.

Akagi smiled as he placed a kiss on your cheek before snagging a cookie. “Aww you guys are the best, thank you!”

The snow slowly fell outside, as the tree sparkled proudly in the center of the living room.

“Hey we still need to put the angel on top!”

Atsumu jokingly picked you up in his arms “we have one right here, shall I put her on top of the tree?”

The boys laughed as they passed you the tiny angel figurine. “we can't reach it anyways, why don't you put it instead?" Said Aran with a small smile.

Atsumu lifted you up gently as you placed the angel on the top of the tree, completing the decoration process.

“Thanks, you guys are amazing. I'm so lucky to have you.”

Your words were met with a chorus of "I love you's" and "me too's"

And you laughed, as Atsumu pulled you closer to him.

“Tsumu, you can put her down now” said a disgruntled Osamu.

[ 2 hours earlier ]

Osamu: have you placed the mistletoe in random spots?

Atsumu: yes, what about you?

Osamu: yeah, but I've kept one in my pocket. I'll just put it up whenever we're alone and it show to her.

Atsumu: damn that's so smart, why didn't I think of that? :(

Osamu: cuz yer' stupid.

Atsumu: >:(

[present time]

You and the boys play tons of games in the living room, and stash their gifts underneath the tree too.

“Let's open then tomorrow morning! We'll sleep in here too, and it will be fun to open them as soon as we wake up.” you say happily.

Suna leans on your shoulder throughout the evening, and soon his head makes its way to your lap, as usual.

You laugh and ruffle his hair, as he looks up at you breathlessly. You're so beautiful to him. So undeniably gorgeous. Atsumu wasn't lying when he called you an angel.

Suna's pupils dilated as he stared into your eyes. “I love you, y/n”

Not hearing the sincerity and hidden meaning behind his words, you replied with a quick “I love you too, Rin-rin”

And frankly, even if you didn't know how much he truly meant it, it didn't matter. He'd make sure you did, someday.

The plate of cookies were left with only crumbs and the mugs were all empty.

The next part of the night was dinner, and since Kita was the only one who could drive, he'd take you out to pick it up.

“Let's go Y/n-san” said Kita, as a tired Suna whined when he had to lose your lap-pillow.

You nodded and followed him, fastening the seatbelt in the passengers seat as you winked at the boys. “Be good while we're gone, okay?”

Kita turned up the radio. It was a song he didn't particularly like, but you seemed to love. However, you switched the radio off.

“Y/n-san, don't you like this song? Why did you change it?”

“Because you don't like it, Kita-san, and I want to talk to you. Your voice is better than any song.” was your simple reply.

No beating around the bush, you were ever so straightforward, and yet it made Kita's heart beat faster.

“so what would you like to talk about?”

And it started from there. A car-ride filled with the voices of the both of you.

At the traffic light, Kita gave you a sideways glance as he saw your excited expression talking about the cookies you baked.

But frankly he wasn't listening anymore. he was admiring the way your eyes shone in delight, and your cheeks as they were pink from the cold. He smiled at the way your face seemed to light up, and at the beautiful smile etched into it.

And Kita found that beautiful.

“It was delicious, right? And the frosting was beautiful too?” you finished excitedly, by asking him.

“she really is beautiful” said Kita in a trance, as the light turned red and he snapped out of it.

“I mean, yes, the frosting was beautiful!”

After picking up a bucket of KFC, as it's traditionally eaten to celebrate Christmas, the boys greeted you at the door.

“Mom and dad are home” joked Akagi.

“Oh my, so that means y/n's our mommy?” said Atsumu seductively, which earned him a sharp kick from Osamu. “Hey Tsumu, shut the hell up.”

The table was set and filled with cheer and banter from all sides, as Akagi sat next to you, and plated everything out.

You sighed happily. Truthfully, you weren't aware of traditions in Japan, since you were new to the country, but the boys taught you every day. It was Osamu who informed you that people in Japan ate their Christmas dinners at KFC.

“It's kinda like a tradition here” he said, with a small shrug. And you were determined to stick to those traditions.

“Are there any other traditions you practice, here? During Christmas?” you asked, in between bites.

Atsumu smirked at you and held up a small plant. “This is called mistletoe, but I won't tell you what the tradition related to it is”

You were confused, because all the other boys had suddenly turned red, and no matter how much you asked them, they refused to tell you what the significance of mistletoe was.

“Hmm, weird” you said softly, as you finished dinner, and brought your plate to the kitchen to be washed.

As you walked out, you noticed a small sprig of mistletoe above you, and a tall presence looming over you...

[ hello!! This is route time!! There are six members which I have written mistletoe routes for, and the corresponding colours will be for each member, so read whichever you want to!!]

(pink is the general route. no matter which route you choose, the new year's day story will continue with the general route, so please keep that in mind.)

Kita

Osamu

Aran

Atsumu

Akagi

Suna

You looked up and saw Akagi, and he had a bunch of other dishes in his hands. “I've lost a bet, so they've made me wash their dishes”

Atsumu's gleeful voice could be heard as he egged his senpai on. “make sure they're spotless, Akagi!”

You took half of the plates from Akagi kindly and assured him you'd help him.

“my hands are wet anyways. It'd be a bother to dry them after washing only one plate”

“T-thanks” he stuttered softly.

As you and Akagi washed the plates side by side, he felt a slight tug in his chest. It felt so domestic, to come home to you, hug you in his arms, and do the most mundane of tasks with you, like washing the dishes like this.

He wouldn't mind anything, honestly. As long as he was with you, the most grueling of chores would become fun.

And as he saw your brows furrowed in concentration, he sighed. You looked ever so adorable like that.

“Y/n-chan, I don't know if I've told you this yet, but you look very beautiful today.”

It took a lot of courage. Everyone saw him as a jokester, a perpetually happy person, but with you he wanted to be different.

He wanted you to know that when he complimented you like that, he wasn't joking. Not the least bit.

A soft tint could be seen on your cheeks as you continued washing the plates. “why thank you, Akagi. You look really nice too ”

And somehow, with that one compliment, you made Akagi happier than he had ever been.

The kitchen was filled with comfortable silence, and you appreciated the presence of the tall raven-haired libero who stood next to you, as he swore this scene would repeat itself in the future, someday, but with you as his girl.

The late dinner left everyone in a lazy mood, and although the Bluetooth speakers played more music, it became softer, more calm, and everyone felt ready to sleep.

The sleeping bags were arranged in the living room, in a small semicircle as you laid yours next to Atsumu.

“I didn't want to be alone in my room, knowing you guys were just outside, so I hope you don't mind if I slept here too” you said with a small blush.

The boys were overjoyed and eagerly made more space for you.

“I hope it won't be uncomfortable for you, y/n-san.”

You shook your head and settled into the sleeping back. “thank you for the concern, Kita-san, but you guys are here! how could I possibly be uncomfortable at all?”

You laid down in your sleeping bag as Aran leaned over to switch the lights off.

“Big day tomorrow. Let's all get some rest.”

A silent exchange of "goodnight's" was all you could hear, before complete silence, signalling their exhaustion.

But Atsumu, who was laying down next you was far from asleep.

He turned to the side to face you, his eyes reflecting the moonlight beautifully.

“I'm cold” you whispered, as you shifted in your sleeping bag uncomfortably. Atsumu's heart started beating uncontrollably as he made space in his own sleeping bag for you.

“Let's cuddle. Body heat is still heat, right beautiful?”

You smiled gratefully as you slipped in next to him, and his arms wrapped around you protectively.

His mind began to wander, and like Akagi, he wondered if he could get used to this. To coming home after a hard day and slipping into bed with you.

To keeping you warm on cold nights, and holding you if you had a nightmare.

As his fingers gently stroked through your hair, you sighed softly and cuddled closer to his chest in a dream-like state.

You had fallen asleep in his arms, just like he had dreamt for so often, and he couldn't wait till he'd be able to have you with him every single night.

Every single night for the rest of forever. Atsumu wanted to spend every single one of them with you.

He smiled softly as he observed your sleeping features before pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“You'll truly be the death of me, y/n”

You awoke many times in the middle of the night, but with Atsumu's firm grip on you, and his comforting body heat, you had no trouble falling back asleep again.

Soon, sunlight began to stream through the windows and the small beams of light slowly caused you to wake up.

The boys were all still asleep, so you gently pried yourself off Atsumu, gave him a gentle kiss to his cheek, and tip-toed to the kitchen, to make breakfast.

Aran, who had incredibly sensitive ears, heard the shift of the fridge door, and woke up. In a groggy-like state, he walked over to you and hugged you from behind.

“good morning” he whispered softly. “can I help you with breakfast?”

Although he wasn't naturally a cook, your patient instructions and kindness proved to be all he needed, and the two of you made a pile of pancakes, drizzled in maple syrup.

By now, the rest of the boys were also awake, they were better than greyhounds when it came to sniffing out food you've made.

But as Aran helped you around the kitchen, he couldn't focus on the others. He couldn't focus on anyone but you.

You, with your messy hair and half lidded eyes. With your low morning voice and small smile. You were so comfortable being yourself, and he really was glad.

Morning-y/n, the y/n only they got to see this morning, was pretty darn adorable. And he wanted her to know that.

“you're so cute when you're still half asleep, ya know?”

Although his voice has a teasing edge, a ring of laughter behind it, Aran wanted you to know that.

“aww thanks Aran, I like your morning voice too” you said with a dopey smile, as your flipped another pancake.

Suna stole one from off the plate and nibbled on it “I rate this a 10/10 too”

“Oh no Kita's glaring at me. I never tasted it in the first place”

After breakfast, presents, tons of hugs, and an outfit change later, the Shrine came into view. It was the first day of the new year, and as per the tradition of praying at the shrines for good luck, you and the team were heading there to welcome the new year with hopes and dreams.

“So, you have to clap twice, and wish for whatever it is your head desires for this year” said Akagi with a smile.

The rest of the boys had their eyes screwed shut, as they prayed for their deepest desire; to marry you someday.

Your wish was not so different either. “I wish to be able to be by their sides forever. For their good health, happiness, and safety. I love them.”

As you laid your eyes on their figures, hunched over the shrine, you swore you would do anything to make your wish a reality.

“I love you guys. Happy new year.!!”

taglist : @raychii @dai-tsukki-desu @k-sakusa-old @pocket-of-anxiety @sunasthing @thatthangwasthangin @daydreamingtetsu @ignorantsock @ohrintarou @tilli-san

The professor's note: 😭broooo so I'm like finally done?? This was so long I hope you guys enjoy it <3 (it took like 3 days to perfect it, so likes and reblogs are very much appreciated uwu)

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