Tumpik
#911 fic
princessfbi · 3 days
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The Warmth (of You)
Eddie’s smile grew and Buck’s inside melted under the heat of the approval. 
Eddie’s eyes flickered to Matthew as if expecting him to say something but Matthew was shifting with impatience. Eddie’s eyes cut back to Buck with a quiet nod. 
“Well done,” he said and it felt like a gift. A gift Buck wanted to cup in his hands and hold onto forever. Buck smiled. “I’m Eddie. I’ll be one of the monitors tonight. Please feel free to reach out to me if you need anything.”
  aka where Buck and Eddie first meet at a kink club before the firehouse
Rated: E | One Shot | Words: 25,089
Read on Ao3
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swiftiediaz · 2 days
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i was supposed to sweat you out (i think there's been a glitch)
buck/eddie | explicit | 8.7k words | complete
"What's your problem, man?"
"You. You're my fucking problem, Diaz."
There were a lot of problems with Eddie Diaz, if you ask Buck. The guy is obnoxiously good at everything without even trying, he's too perfect, too confident.
And the biggest problem of them all: Eddie's an attractive asshole that features more often than not in Buck's filthiest dreams.
or;
The Buck and Eddie meet at the fire academy, rivals to lovers fic.
read on ao3
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prettyboybuckley · 2 days
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Blood prompt : "your bandages - you're bleeding through them" for buddie?
I love your writing and blog!!
Hi! Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoy my writing and my silly little posts and reblogs! Sorry this took me a while, I hope you're in the mood for something kind of fluffy!
If there is one thing Eddie's boyfriend is, it's very stubborn. 
Not that Eddie has much room to talk in that regard, because he can also be very stubborn, but he'd prefer it if the people around him weren't. Besides, he wasn't the one wanting to go back to work on blood thinners, so Buck is definitely worse than him. 
The problem is that it's been only two days since Buck managed to get himself injured during a call, and he's already up and moving around again. 
Eddie swears he nearly had a heart attack when he saw those beams come down on Buck, while his boyfriend acted all nonchalant about it later, of course. He doesn't think it was something to be nonchalant about, considering Buck's turnout tore as it was caught on metal, and he ended up with a bleeding shoulder. 
It's a mostly superficial wound, nothing too crazy, but it's big, spanning over Buck's entire right shoulder blade. Which means that every move pulls on it—and Eddie can't imagine that is pleasant—while it also makes lying or sitting down in a comfortable position very hard for the other man.
The result is that he keeps moving around the house, trying to find something to do that doesn't aggravate his injury too much while still keeping him busy, and he's failing miserably at it. And Eddie gets it, he gets that it's hard for Buck to do nothing and let his body rest and heal. He'd just also like it if the man cared about doing what is best for himself every once in a while. 
"You're not washing the dishes, are you?" Eddie calls out when it's been a little too long since Buck went into the kitchen, and there is the sound of plates clanging against each other. When there is no response, he gets up from the couch with a sigh, shuffling into the kitchen on his socked feet.
Sure enough, Buck is indeed washing the dishes, drying them and putting them away as he goes, and he's stretching up on his tiptoes to put a mixing bowl they used during the weekend—and had been sitting on the counter since—on the top shelf in the cabinet it belongs. He's shirtless because the fabric kept bothering him, and it was a pain to get anything on that didn't button at the front. 
It's definitely not the first time he made that move because Eddie immediately notices the red that has spread through the white bandage, and he shakes his head exasperatedly. He definitely reopened the wound, then.
"Buck, baby," Eddie says with a sigh, grabbing Buck by his good arm to stop him from moving back to the sink. "Your bandages—you're bleeding through them." 
Buck blinks at him for a few seconds, then tries to twist so he can see his own shoulder. Eddie sighs again, shakes his head and guides his boyfriend to the chair he pulls from the kitchen table. He makes him sit down with his chest to the backrest, which is how they've been changing the dressing when necessary. 
When Buck opens his mouth to say something, Eddie merely says "no", and Buck, resigned, hangs his head and leans forward against the chair. 
"You know that every time that wound reopens you'll have to wait a little longer until Bobby will consider letting you go back to work, right?"
He grabs the med kit from the counter, opening it up and setting out everything he needs to change Buck's bandages. 
"Because you were so much more patient after you got shot," Buck mutters, sounding a little like a petulant child, and he winces when Eddie peels off the soaked bandage. The damage doesn't seem too bad, and it'll stop bleeding soon enough, but it does need to be cleaned. 
Eddie can't help the way he smiles fondly, and he leans down to press a kiss to Buck's cheek as he ruffles his hair. 
"Yeah, well, we're talking about you right now. And I would like you back in one piece as soon as possible because I love you, okay?"
Buck ducks his head, turning it away from Eddie, but he isn't quick enough to hide the smile on his face. It seems to work, though, because the rest of the day he seems to do his best to rest and let his shoulder heal, and he listens to Eddie's instructions. If that trend will continue tomorrow, well, it's still Buck. And Eddie loves him, stubbornness and all. 
from the blood related prompts
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a picture is worth three little words | 3.9k
Buck flings the door open and Chris fumbles in shock, the Switch slipping off his bed to the carpet. Buck sighs.
"Buddy, you're getting better at this whole sneaking around thing I admit, but you've still got a lot to learn." Buck scoops the switch up, makes sure to save whatever progress he made in the last twenty minutes and switches it off.
"You could teach me?" Chris tries, shameless in a way that makes his heart ache because it reminds him so much of the week he'd spent begging Maddie to tell him how to sneak out of the house after curfew.
"Nice try, kid." Buck ruffles his hair and tucks him in, relishing in the way Chris lets him. "But no matter what your dad says, I don't have a death wish. So, I'm taking this," he waves the Switch in the air, "and you're getting to sleep. You have school in the morning."
"Who goes on a date on a Wednesday?" Chris asks with the wrinkle of his nose.
"Dads who have a standing movie night on the normal date day." Buck whispers, ducking to press a wet kiss to Christopher's forehead before he can protest. He only rolls his eyes. "Hey, are you okay with your dad dating again?"
"I guess." Chris shrugs. "I want him to be happy—" He frowns.
"But?" Buck prompts.
"I don't know." His sigh turns into a yawn. "I thought we made him happy."
"Oh, bud." Buck swallows the heartache on the back of his tongue. "You make him so happy, you know that. But you're getting more independent and having crushes of your own..." Chris groans and shoves at Buck's shoulders which shake with silent laughter. "Okay, okay. Truce." He holds up his hands and grins. "One day, you're gonna be too cool for your old man and he just doesn't want to be alone."
"I'm never gonna be too cool for dad." Chris murmurs. Buck squeezes his ankle and files that away for when Eddie gets home. "And he's not alone, he has you." Chris looks up at him then with those wide, wise eyes. "You make dad happy."
"He's my best friend." Buck replies, a little breathless. It feels a little like he's defending himself, but he's not sure what it is he's defending himself from.
"Sarah's my best friend." And then Chris rolls over, pulling the blanket over his head to end the conversation.
(OR: eddie goes on a date, buck finds an incriminating picture, and the answer to happiness is right under his nose)
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megslovesbooks · 2 days
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One Line Any Fic
Pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the midpoint, pick a line, and share it! Then tag you’re it! 
Tagged by @spotsandsocks, @elvensorceress, and @thekristen999! Thanks beloveds!
my heart gets lost (like a message)
“I missed a lot of this.” Eddie says, turning his attention to where Jee’s fingers have found the chain of his St. Christopher medal.
“When Chris was little I was halfway around the world for most of it.” he continues, gently untangling her fist from the necklace. “I told myself it was the only way I could provide for my family, and maybe that was true. But…” He trails off with a sigh. “I missed so much. I can’t get that back.” He looks up, meets Chimney’s gaze.
“Talk to me Chim.”
calling out a mayday (is anybody there?)
“God. Eddie.” He breaths, clutching the sooty bomber jacket in his hands so tight his fingers start to go numb. He’s shaking so hard he’s not sure how he’s still standing. Eddie is shaking too, and for a moment cold fear spikes through Buck’s chest. He tries to pull away, afraid that something is really wrong after all, but Eddie refuses to loosen his grip. The shuddering in his shoulders increases and he hides his face against Buck’s neck. That’s when Buck realizes. Eddie isn’t crying.
He’s laughing.
the beating of our hearts (is the only sound)
“Eddie.” Buck sighs, “I want to be here.” And there’s something so tender in his expression that Eddie feels his breath stutter in his chest. Behind him the heart monitor makes an unhappy wail as his pulse picks up. There’s no mistaking the sound of smothered amusement coming from the corner of the room this time but Eddie can’t take time to glare in its direction because Buck has zeroed in on the traitorous machine hanging above Eddie’s head (like the sword of fucking Damocles).
i'll be there in the summer ('cause you're heart isn't safe)
“What’s going on kid?” He asks, “Are you hurt?”
“No. No I’m ok.” He says, and while Bobby suspects ok might be a stretch, he’s sounding better than he was. “I uh, I need to take tomorrow off, maybe Thursday too. I’m sorry, I know it's late notice, but I–I need–” He trails off again and Bobby shoots his wife a look.
“Where are you Buck?” Bobby asks, “Do I need to come get you?”
“No.” Buck says, “No, I’m at Eddie’s.” And oh. Oh fuck.
“Is Eddie ok?” It's the question he has to ask, but it's the one he absolutely doesn't want to hear the answer to because he already knows–
“Uh. No.” Buck’s voice is thick and Bobby is shoving his feet into shoes before he even has time to think.
Dreamin' of the West Coast
On stage Evan Buckley exudes a sexy ‘boy next door’ sort of charm, playing into it by making his bandmates laugh in the middle of musical breaks (much to the fond exasperation of Hen, who is most often with in line of sight whenever the camera is trained on him), and his easy banter with the audience that always somehow seems smooth as glass and totally natural at the same time. Eddie had watched a handful of interviews early this morning when he couldn’t sleep, trying to get a feel for how the band interacted, and even off stage Evan had always seemed to be the social center of the group, his laugh warm and his expression open. And yes, Eddie's noticed the square line of his jaw, the bright blue of his eyes, the distinctive birthmark splashed over one eye. But seeing that on his 13 inch computer screen is a far cry from seeing it in person, and for one horrible second Eddie is sure he’s about to do something stupid like reach out and run his fingers over the arch of Evan’s brow. He could do it. He’d get kicked out of the theater and maybe arrested, but he could do it. It's a little bit like seeing a master painting in person for the first time. Eddie finds himself bowled over by the sheer aesthetics of it all.
crash (into me)
Buck is—fine. He’s rising to his feet, his eyes wide but a slightly hysterical laugh twisting his mouth up at the corners.
“Woah!” He says, grinning as he tries to dust some of the rain water off his turnouts, an unconscious gesture to steady his own nerves. “That was close huh?”
The man behind the wheel is yelling now. Somehow Bobby has materialized beside the driver’s side window and is speaking in a voice so normal Eddie can’t even begin to comprehend what is being said.
One of the most common injuries when a pedestrian is struck by a car is pelvic fractures. Shannon’s had been broken in six places. It would be impossible for a victim with that kind of structural damage to be standing, let alone heaving a bike up off the ground from where it must have toppled. The bike should have absorbed some of the impact, it might have even twisted itself around the body of the person who had been struck. That’s odd. He doesn’t have the stats on that.
disgrace, give me a break (trying to die happy someday)
“Eat that,” Eddie says, settling into the seat just around the corner of the bar. “Then you can go to bed.”
“Probably shouldn’t have had all that coffee.” Buck says, the first bite of soft bread and savory cheese reminding him exactly how long its been since he last ate.
“Please.” scoffs Eddie, “Like I would give you caffeine right now.” Buck eyes the coffee cup with an offended pout.
“I could taste it was off.” he says, and Eddie rolls his eyes fondly and pushes away from the counter.
“Sure you did bud.”
i accepted i need you now (i need you now)
“That’s it.” Someone is saying, there are still hands on his back, others on his heaving ribs trying to help him force up all the gunk he’s just swallowed. “Get it all up Eddie, you’re ok.” It's another full minute before he can even think about doing anything but choke, but at last it feels like he’s gotten most of the water out, even if his stomach is churning and his lungs feel like they’re full of glass. The rest of him is going pleasantly numb, which a distant part of him knows is probably not great. He tries to sit back on his heels, wants to reassure the anxious hands still solid on his back that he’s ok, just waterlogged, but he can’t seem to make his body behave. When he tips sideways there’s nothing he can do to stop it.
do you wanna die alone (or watch it all burn down together)
That little speck, the tiny seed of hope and want and Buck…had blossomed. He’s been tending it for a while now, quietly content to run his fingers over the delicate green shoots and pale petals in the still hours of the night. And it had felt like enough, it really had. To know he can love, that he’s still capable of something he’d once thought lost to him, that he is loved, whatever that love might look like, whatever shape it takes. He has loved Buck since he brought Carla into Eddie and Christopher’s lives. He has been in love with Buck since that quiet Tuesday in May when they were decorating the living room for Chris’s birthday party and Buck had glanced up at him over a tangle of stars and planets garland and Eddie had felt the entire world shift on its axis.
the subtle grace of gravity (the heavy weight of stone)
The sky is dark now, the dim crimson light of the fully eclipsed moon just a smudge against the sky, too weak to compete with the ever present lights of the city. Eddie shivers despite the warmth of the night air.
Behind him the screen door clicks softly shut.
“Hey.” Buck says, sliding into the space beside him, he smells like the ginger body wash he keeps in their shared locker at work. Eddie wants to turn to him, wants to see his face, to kiss the soft skin of his cheek, but he can’t seem to pull his eyes away from the place where the last sliver of golden light has winked out. Not forever, he tries to remind himself, not for good. He feels heavy and afraid.
These are laughably not one line. I'll tag @onward--upward, @ajunerose, @confetti-cupcake, @messyhairdiaz, @gaydisasterdiaz, and @djdangerlove. Forgive me if you've already done this, I'm so behind on my dash!
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music4girls · 2 days
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at this point 6x14 is gonna just be titled Gay Ass Eddie or something
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spotsandsocks · 2 days
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Thirsty Thursday
Tagged by my lovely @monsterrae1
Now this is from the dragonrider au but can be enjoyed separately promise, but if it gets you interested I’d be a happy spot.
All the air leaves his lungs in a rush when Eddie sees his face. He has nothing to worry about if Buck is looking at him like that. He swallows hard, the click audible in the room.
They’re close already but Buck reaches out and pulls Eddie in by his hips so they’re closer so he can lean his forehead against his.
Buck lets out a slow controlled breath then whispers his breath ghosting over Eddie skin, “I love you too, I missed you everyday I was gone. I was really stupid to go.”
Eddie won’t argue there. “You were,” he pulls back trying not to smile too widely as he says “I’ll let you make it up to me though. ” Buck eyes light up at the offer.
“I can do that,” he sounds so enthusiastic Eddie laughs at him, he gets a beaming grin back and Buck adds “what did you have in mind?”
He’s so close and so warm, all Eddie wants to do is touch him and be touched.
“Use your imagination.” He almost doesn’t recognise his own voice, it sounds thick with need, he’s already breathless.
Buck’s breath hitches at his words and the small sound fuels his desire, he’s half hard already just from the thoughts he’s having. It’s been so long since he’s had any desire and now he wants so much from this man, wants to fall apart in his arms and be put back together.
 “I’ll make it good for you” Buck promises his voice deep. Eddie wants to groan, rock himself against the hard muscles of Buck’s body as the words go straight to his already aching cock.
“I’ll be so good, do anything you want,” his eyes flick down to Eddie’s mouth. He leans in and Eddie can’t help the soft whimper he makes as Buck runs his nose over his cheek breathing him in before letting their noses bump together. His mouth is so close Eddie tries to move his own to meet his lips and Buck hums happily, pleased at how needy Eddie is already. Eddie thinks he might go crazy if he isn’t kissed soon.
Then Buck lets their lips meet and Eddie let’s out a soft satisfied noise, finally getting what he wants. Buck steals the noise away, its disappears into a kiss that’s soft and firm, the slick glide of Buck’s tongue against his forcing more needy breathless noises out of him. Buck takes them all away. He moves back, Eddie tries to follow him and makes a discontented whine when he misses.
Buck pulls away attempting to catch his breath, slow things down but then he looks at Eddie’s face, he looks wrecked by a few kisses, his eyes almost black his pupils are so large and his breath is coming in short heavy pants. It undoes the little control he’s hanging onto. He wants so much, wants to touch and taste him, to lick and suck at his skin, to see him spread out, desperate and needy. He wants to make Eddie forget everything, for the only word in his mind to be Buck’s name.
Eddie wants that too, he can see it in his eyes, the way his hands are grasping and flexing into Buck’s hips, the tiny thrusts from his hips that he’s trying to hold back.
“Thought about you every day” Buck presses the words into Eddie’s skin, pressing his lips into the corner of Eddie’s mouth letting his tongue tease the edges of Eddie’s as it searches for him. He’s rewarded with a shudder “Every night too,” another kiss, another flick of tongue and Eddie’s hands have to grip harder to keep himself upright, “couldn’t stop thinking about you” his lips move up towards Eddie’s ear and he bites lightly on the lobe. Eddie shudders again and now Buck has to tighten his hold to keep him upright, he ignores the shooting sensations going straight to his groin as Eddie’s cock shifts along his thigh. Eddie’s making small senseless noises, he’s losing himself to everything he’s feeling. Buck’s lips move down lower, a slow drag of kisses that move along to the underside of his jaw where he nuzzles in and deliberately grazes his teeth against the sensitive skin there.
Eddie can’t gather his thoughts for more than a moment at a time and he can’t stop the constant noises slipping past his lips. His cheeks feel hot, Buck’s kisses are everywhere driving him wild. Eddie tilts his head to give him better access. His eyes close as Buck lets his mouth and teeth travel across skin, soft noises mingling in a way that feeds Eddie’s building need.
He’s being kissed very thoroughly and it’s sending waves of pleasure through him, helplessly rubbing himself against Buck’s thigh seeking more friction. He hard and aching, needy and breathless. He wants more. He’s so turned on and he’s barley been touched. He’s boneless and desperate, wants more so much more. He can ask for that, Buck said he could have anything, so he does “Please….Buck” his name sounds like a sigh “want more, need you.”
Buck makes a strangled noise as Eddie begs, he’s enjoying the sounds he’s wringing out of him. He murmurs between kisses, “you sound so good Eddie, let me hear you.” The needy request goes straight to Eddie’s cock and without meaning to he groans louder. “Yeah like that, I’m gonna make you feel so good Eddie, so good for you, take care of you” each word is punctuated by another kiss.
Eddie’s the ones getting taken apart who can hardly think around the pleasure building in him and it’s Buck who sounds like it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him. His own soft moans and pleas are only making Eddie want more.
He gasps, making sounds rather than words but can manage a “yes” that gets stuck on repeat. He cries out again at another bite on his neck that steals his mind away, begins begging Buck with random words “want, please, need you, please” and then just his name.
Buck feels on fire he lets one hand slip slowly down until it’s squeezed between them and he rubs at the hard line he finds there. Eddie throws his head back and moans quietly in desperate pleasure. He sounds so good. Eddie thrusts into Buck's hand desperately seeking more stimulation it makes him swear and his hips jerk involuntarily making them both groan again.
Buck pulls back he can’t drag his gaze away from Eddie’s mouth, raising his hand he rubs at Eddie’s bottom lip with his thumb watching the way it moves how it makes Eddie gasp a little, push his hips into him again. How his tongue slips between his lips trying to make contact with Buck’s skin.
“I’ve spent the whole time I was away thinking about you, about this” his chest is heaving.
“Me too”
Eddie’s just as breathless as he is.
“You want to…?” Buck jerks his head towards the room where Eddie’s bed is.
And Eddie does, he wants so much and so badly. He nods reaches to capture Buck’s mouth again gives him one deep and dirty kiss that has them both moaning and panting and pulls him forward.
next chapt if you're so inclined
or maybe I can tempt you To Fly the Skies Read on AO3
Tags for @the-likesofus @elvensorceress @jacksadventuresinwriting @loveyourownsmiilee @bekkachaos @ajunerose @shortsighted-owl @fleurdebeton @megslovesbooks @buddierights @lostinabuddiehaze @swiftiediaz @ajunerose @fiona-fififi @rogerzsteven
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ghosthunterbuck · 2 months
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walking around with your heart
(buddie) (1.4k words) (spoilers for 6x04)
It fucking hurts. 
It fucking hurts, and maybe Hen was right, maybe it would’ve hurt either way, but this is worse, Buck thinks. He drops his phone to the counter top and buries his head in his arms. 
Spare parts. Defective spare parts, as it were. 
All Buck’s ever wanted to do is help, but he was cursed from the start. 
…family history bars you from participating in the donor program…
Buck’s phone rings on the counter. 
He ignores it. 
Then three texts come through in rapid succession. 
Hey Buck, give us a call?
We just heard from the facility
Think we need to talk
Buck picks the phone up and turns it over in his hand. Over and over, until he’s accidentally opened the camera and he’s staring at his own face. 
When Buck was a kid, adults always used to think he was hurt. They’d fuss, right up until they realized it was just his birthmark, and then they’d go back to doing whatever it was adults did. He never thought much of it, not really. Forgot it was there, most of the time, unless someone asked him about it. 
For a while, after the shooting, any time he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror he’d mistake it for blood. Eddie’s. 
Maddie told him once that it was an angel’s kiss. He always liked the thought of that. 
Now, though, as he stares at it on the screen of his phone, he wonders if it wasn’t a defective stamp, meant to differentiate him from all the perfect babies born at the hospital that day. A bright red mark that, from the beginning, was meant to say, “throw me away! I’m no good!”
His phone rings again. 
This time it’s Eddie. 
Buck answers the call before he has time to think better of it. 
“Hey Eds,” he says, quiet and subdued. 
“Uh-oh,” Eddie replies, sounding distant and tinny. “I know that voice. What’s wrong?”
Buck rolls his shoulders and forces a smile to his face. “Nothing, I’m fine.”
Eddie hums disbelievingly. “Convincing, Buckley,” he says sarcastically. 
Despite himself, Buck’s fake smile morphs into something softer and a little more real. “Seriously, Eds, I’m fine.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Eddie replies. “Which is an excellent segue, because Mr. Independent has decided he’s going to sleep over at Benny’s after the movie tonight, and I’m going stir crazy.”
“And what, you think I’m just going to drop everything and come over?” Buck asks, grinning a little wider. 
“Nope,” Eddie says. “I am hoping you’ll open the door, though.”
Buck snorts and stands, crossing the short distance to the door and pulling it open. 
“Surprise,” Eddie says, holding up a case of beer, a paper grocery bag, and what honest-to-god looks like a blow up mattress. 
“You have keys,” Buck says, stepping back to let Eddie inside. 
“And I’d be very appreciative if you grabbed them for me.”
For a fleeting moment, Buck entertains the idea of sticking his hand in Eddie’s pocket and fishing around for keys. Then Eddie nods at the entryway, Buck spots them on the ground, and the illusion is shattered. 
“You know,” Buck says as he bends to scoop them, “I might have plans.”
“Do you?” Eddie asks, settling his load on the counter. 
Buck presses his lips together and mock glares at Eddie.
“Great,” Eddie grins. “In that case, we’re playing drunk Mario Kart until we can’t see straight.”
“And the air mattress?” Buck asks, prodding it with a finger. 
“You,” Eddie says, pointing at him, “don’t have a couch. And we’re too old to sit on the floor.”
Buck snorts out a laugh and ducks his head. “Fine,” he says. “You blow up the ‘couch’ and I’ll make popcorn.”
Eddie bumps against his shoulder. “Knew I could count on you.”
At least someone can, Buck thinks. 
“So,” Eddie says when they’re settled on the mattress, a bowl of popcorn between them, “you gonna tell me what’s wrong?”
“Nothing–” Buck begins to answer, before Eddie fixes him with that don’t-bullshit-me look he’s way too good at. Buck sighs. “It’s a long story.”
“We’ve got time,” Eddie says. 
Buck leans back and closes his eyes. “I ever tell you about my old roommate, Connor?”
“You’ve said his name, but I don’t think you’ve ever told me anything about him.”
Buck sighs. “He got married a few years back. His wife– she’s sweet. They’re a good match.” He pauses, but Eddie doesn’t interrupt him. “They want kids. But uh– Connor– he can’t, um. So they… asked me?” Buck cracks one eye open and looks at Eddie. 
He hums thoughtfully. “So that’s what’s got you in knots? You’re not sure how to turn them down?”
Buck chuckles mirthlessly. “No need, apparently. Did you know that a family history of childhood leukemia disqualifies you from making a sperm donation through a bank?”
“No, I– Buck,” Eddie says. 
“I said yes,” Buck says quietly. “A few weeks ago.”
“And you didn’t tell anyone?”
Buck bites his lip and looks away. “I told Hen.”
“Oh,” Eddie says quietly. 
“I just– they wanted their kid to be someone like me, Eds. I thought… I wanted to help.”
“But you can’t,” Eddie puts together. 
“No,” Buck says, “I fucking can’t.”
Eddie’s quiet for a long moment. “Is it really what you wanted?” he asks finally. 
“I—I’ve wanted kids my whole life,” Buck says. “And I know this wouldn’t have been the same, but if I could help someone else have it then maybe… maybe I…”
“Maybe you’d what?” Eddie asks, looking him in the eye. “Deserve to have it too?”
Buck swallows and ducks away from Eddie’s gaze. “Something like that,” he says quietly. 
“You know that’s not how it works, right?” Eddie asks gently. 
“Kind of seems like it does,” Buck mutters. 
Several seconds pass in contemplative silence. Eventually, Eddie breaks it. 
“You want to know what I think?” he asks. 
“Am I allowed to say no?” Buck jokes weakly. 
Eddie slaps his bicep lightly but allows his hand to linger. “I think you would have been miserable, knowing there was a kid out there with your eyes and heart and mind that you couldn’t call your own. I think you’d feel guilty every time you thought about him, and I think you’d be wondering, constantly, what it’d be like if he was yours. And I think you’d feel even more guilty about that, because I know you wouldn’t have considered it if you didn’t think your friends were going to be good parents.”
Buck allows his eyes to slip closed and focuses on Eddie’s hand as it slowly slides to his wrist. 
“I think you’re an incredible dad, and it would kill you to have a kid whose life you weren’t a part of.”
“M’not a dad, Eds, that’s the whole point,” Buck says, without opening his eyes. 
Eddie’s hand tightens around his wrist. “I don’t think that’s true,” he says softly. 
Buck furrows his eyebrows and blinks his eyes open. “What, you think I have a secret kid out there?”
Eddie snorts a laugh. “No, Buck. I think you made dinner last night, and went to the science fair the night before that. I think you went to the beach last weekend and spent the entire day chasing Christopher around with a bottle of sunscreen. I think I put you in my will for a reason. You’re a good dad, Buck. Whatever it is you think you have to do to deserve it, you’ve already done it.”
“Eddie,” Buck breathes. “I’m not—” 
“We’ve got more than one friend I’m pretty sure you’d offend if you finished that sentence,” Eddie says gently. 
A tear pricks at the corner of Buck’s eye. “You really think…”
“Yeah, Buck,” Eddie says, rubbing his thumb across the inside of his wrist. “Maybe it’s selfish of me, but I’m kind of glad you’ve only got the one kid running around.”
Buck sniffs and scrubs a hand across his face. “Yeah, well, that kid’s going to destroy us both the next time we play if we don’t practice.”
“Destroy you, maybe,” Eddie says softly. He clearly recognizes the deflection for what it is, but he lets go of Buck’s wrist anyway. He picks up his controller. “Ready whenever you are, Evan.”
Buck’s heart gives a hard thump, and he grabs his controller too. “You’re on, Diaz.”
(And in the morning, when they wake up tangled together on a half-deflated air mattress and Buck’s heart gives another heavy thump, he’ll shoves it in the same box as everything else he’s too afraid to look at.)
795 notes · View notes
kettlefire · 3 months
Text
I would die to see Danny Phantom shoved into everyday regular-life shows.
Like Imagine
Danny Fenton suddenly being a firefighter in 911. Danny being a new transfer firefighter, meeting the team. How he might bond with Bobby, or Buck, or Hen. Casually hiding the fact he's not human, while also having the best survival rate.
Like what if the only reason he transferred there was because his previous fire house thought he was something else, something stranger because he managed to save people in situations that they should have died?
Fire turns into a collapsed building, and Danny makes it safe with civilians?
A little girl mentioning Danny was a guardian angel because he glowed when a flashover hit?
OR
Danny in a doctor show, like The Resident. He only becomes a doctor because how else is he supposed to get medical care for his strange physiology without alerting attention?
Danny meeting Conrad when he's on a rescue mission. Danny running into Pravesh when he's there with Ellie (Danielle) for something completely unrelated to his own health.
Danny getting a call from Nic that Ellie is there and having to rush over before they do any testing and trying to explain to them that yes he's related to her, and yes he's her doctor, and yes it can be a problem but she has a very rare medical disease and he's the only one specialized to handle it.
OR
Danny showing up in Law & Order SVU. Butting heads with Elliot because he just happened to be there and stopped a crime but refuse to cooperate with the detectives.
Be real, Danny would hate authority figures, and would probably be pretty ACAB.
Danny befriending Sonny because they accidently bump into each other in a grocery store or something and then Danny suddenly showing up in one of their cases.
Like nothing drastic or supernatural like, just Danny trying to live as normal of a life as possible and failing miserably because the ancients hate him.
Danny meeting Barbra because he accidently spilled coffee on the man's expensive suit and decided he wasn't going to leave the man alone until he felt like he paid his dues. Barbra refusing to let this child pay for his dry cleaning.
Danny meeting Olivia because he decided to go into daycare work and took care of one of their victims (Or called the unit on a possible case on one of his kids) or he's taking care of Noah.
I feel like this is an unexplored gold-mine. I'd love to read stories where Danny isn't in mortal danger, or struggling to survive something, or his secret gets about.
It's just Danny trying to be a functioning adult and turning into that friend that always has something traumatic happening to them every five minutes.
Being sucked into problems and barely making it out without the normal people finding out that he wasn't normal.
888 notes · View notes
tripleaxeldiaz · 5 months
Text
when the dance it’s through, it’s me and you
read on ao3
He knew this was coming, is the thing. He had time to prepare, to steel himself, to come to terms with the fact that while Buck didn’t want to be with Taylor specifically, he does, eventually, want to be with someone. And finding someone to be with involves dinners and drinks and generally less free time to hang out with your best friend and his son, no matter how much your best friend selfishly enjoys having you all to himself.
So Eddie knew this was coming — he really, painfully did — and he thought he would be able to handle it.
But then he walks into the locker room at the end of shift on a random Thursday and is overcome with want so suddenly that he can’t feel his legs for a minute, because Buck looks good. He always does, to be fair, but this is borderline sinful — his jeans are perfectly tight, his shirt makes his biceps look like they’re about to pop the seams, and his hair is slicked enough to stay down but not enough to get rid of the curls completely.
He recovers as quickly as he can, shaking himself as he crosses the rest of the distance to his locker. “Hot date tonight?” he asks, partially joking, partially curious, partially desperately hoping those jeans will be sitting on his couch instead of on a cracked leather stool in a dimly lit bar. 
Buck smiles, soft and a little shy. “Yeah, actually, I’m meeting her for drinks in 20 minutes.”
Eddie had definitely not prepared himself enough at all, actually, if the way his heart uncomfortably skips in his chest is anything to go by.
He shakes himself again, aims for something encouraging and normal. “That’s great, man, I hope it goes well.” 
It’s a lie, a big, fat lie, but Buck’s smile turns up to 1000 watts and he’s wiggling with excitement. Eddie can’t help but absorb a little bit of that happiness and smile right back.
“Thanks,” Buck says, slamming his locker closed. “I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow. We still on for the zoo?”
“Of course, Chris would never miss a chance to see the new brown bear cubs.”
“Me neither,” Buck says, his smile somehow getting even brighter. “Give him a hug for me when you get home, yeah?”
“I will. See you tomorrow.”
Buck waves as he jogs out the bay doors towards his Jeep. It takes an impressive amount of will power for Eddie not to gawk at his ass as he goes. He stays in the locker room long enough to watch the Jeep pull out of the parking lot, and then he does the only thing anyone can do when the man you’re stupidly in love with is dating people other than you.
He drives his ass home and sulks.
Just for the evening, he tells himself. Honestly, Frank should be proud of him for feeling his feelings like this.
Of course, Frank would also remind him that if he had been honest with Buck about the whole stupidly in love thing, he maybe wouldn’t have to be feeling any of these feelings at all. But he wasn’t — he put it off and put it off instead, at first because of proximity to the break up, and then because they had fallen back into a rhythm — field trip chaperoning and beach days and more nights with Buck crashing on his couch than without —  that he was reluctant to break. And yes, Frank, he knows they could’ve kept that rhythm, and he knows he shouldn’t assume Buck’s feelings for him, he gets it, okay, but honestly? 
He’s scared. 
Terrified to his bones, actually, and he’s secure enough in his emotions to admit that to himself. The idea of summiting the mountain of his feelings for Buck with no idea what will be on the other side ranks right up there on his list of greatest fears with tight spaces and getting shot in broad daylight, and he’s not sure any amount of therapy would make him okay with living a life that Buck wasn’t a part of. And he knows, he knows, as deeply in his bones as that terror is, that Buck would never, ever leave him and Chris completely, but there’s still a smidge of ever-present fear keeping guard at the top of the mountain and not letting him pass.
Maybe one day that fear will finally melt away and let him through. Until then, the only thing melting is the ice cream in his bowl, so he shovels another spoonful into his mouth and tries to focus on the movie Chris picked out instead of the flurry of nonsense happening in his head.
He gets about 10 minutes of peace, just long enough for Chris to finish his own ice cream, place the bowl on the coffee table, and turn to face him head on, eyebrows furrowed in a surprisingly Buckley manner.
Eddie pauses the movie. “You okay bud?”
Chris nods. “I’m fine. Are you okay?”
He has no idea how he sees through him so easily, but he always does. And he never wants to lie to Chris, but he also doesn’t think talking to your eleven year old about your love life is very healthy, no matter how close the two of you may be.
“I’m…a little blah today, I guess,” he says, shrugging. A very broad truth, but the truth nonetheless.
Chris nods sagely. He reaches behind them, tugging the blanket off the back of the couch and tucking it securely around the two of them. He picks up the remote and snuggles deeper into Eddie’s side, and Eddie wraps his arm around his shoulders and gives him a squeeze, thankful that Chris doesn’t think he’s too big for this kind of affection just yet.
Chris presses play, monstrous roars and metallic shrieks filling the living room again. “I bet the giant robot fights will help you feel better.”
Eddie snorts through his nose, leaning down to rest his cheek on top of Chris’ head. “I bet you’re right. I’ll be better in no time now.”
I’ll be better in no time I’ll be better in no time I’ll be better in no time
If he repeats it enough, maybe it’ll stick. Someday. Eventually.
~~~~~~~~~~
They meet at the zoo bright and early next morning, Buck full of big smiles and bear hugs as usual. Chris has the day planned to the letter, so they don’t take a break until well into the afternoon, Eddie and Buck collapsing onto a shaded bench while Chris is distracted by one of the zookeepers talking about brown bear hibernation. 
Buck hasn’t said a word about the date all day, so Eddie could keep avoiding it too. But he should be supportive, he supposes, even if it has the potential to ruin their otherwise perfect day.
“So,” he says as neutrally as possible. “How was last night?”
Buck shrugs and smiles, but it’s tight, not as bright as Eddie’s been seeing all day. “Her name’s Jessica, she works in PR, has a chocolate lab named Goose. We split a giant pretzel at the bar and she laughed at all of my jokes.”
“Wow, she must really like you, most of your jokes are terrible.”
Buck throws his head back and laughs loudly, shoving Eddie’s shoulder with his own. “They are not, asshole, I’m a comedic genius.”
“I think everyone on our team would beg to differ,” Eddie says, chuckling, trying not to chase after Buck’s warmth as he sits back upright. “So it went well?”
Buck shrugs again. “For the most part.”
“But?”
He sighs harshly through his nose. “She talked about her ex, like, the entire night. Every time she asked me a question, I’d answer, it would somehow connect back to him, and she’d go on a 10 minute tangent. I think I knew more about him than her by the end of the night.”
Eddie winces, “Yikes, that sucks.”
“And then,” Buck continues, “she still asked me if I wanted to go back to her place!”
Eddie’s stomach flips uncomfortably, because it was hard enough keeping his cool hearing about an innocent date, he’s not sure he’d be able to handle hearing about anything beyond that. “Did you? Go with her?”
Buck shakes his head hard. “No way, I told her I was too tired and bailed. I honestly wish I could’ve bailed sooner, but I didn’t know how to without looking like a douche.”
The words tumble out of him before he can stop them. “You could’ve called me.” Buck cocks his head towards him, confused, and Eddie is just as confused himself, but it seems his subconscious has already worked this out. “Adriana does it with her friends. If a date starts going south, she’ll text them so they call with a fake emergency and she can leave. Apparently it works every time.”
It’s quiet for a bit as Buck mulls the idea over, absentmindedly picking at his nails. “You don’t think I should just stick it out?” he asks quietly, like he’s afraid to voice the thought too loudly. “Maybe I’m just rusty at the whole dating thing.”
Eddie scoots down the bench until they’re pressed together from hip to ankle. “You just got out of a relationship where you thought sticking it out would work,” he says as kindly as he can. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with knowing when you don’t want something, and it’s not fair to anyone to keep forcing it, especially to yourself.” It’s pretty good advice, if he does say so himself, even if it’s partially motivated by the green-eyed part of him that doesn’t want any of Buck’s dates to work out.
But he wants Buck to be happy, more than anything else. And that trumps useless jealousy every time. 
Buck ducks his head and smiles that soft, sweet smile that Eddie loves best. “You’d really come up with a fake emergency for me?”
Eddie knocks their shoulders together again. “Of course.” I’d do anything for you goes left unsaid.
Before he can say anything else that tells on himself too much, Chris makes his way back over to them, his smile so big it practically splits his face in half. “Dad! The zookeeper said they’re gonna feed the bears at 4! Can we get ice cream and come back so we can watch?”
“Sure we can,” Eddie says. “I think I just need to get some—”
“I got it, Eds,” Buck says, patting his knee as he stands. “Chris, did the zookeeper tell you anything you didn’t already know?”
That launches Chris into fact after fact, the two of them chattering as they walk to the ice cream stand. Eddie lags behind a bit, watching them laugh, and tries not to think too hard about how wants this — ice cream and bear facts and Buck being theirs — forever.
~~~~~~~~~~
Buck goes on more dates — six more, to be precise — and he doesn’t call for a bailout during any of them. It’s a good sign — no call means the date is going well which means Buck is happy and having a good time — and Eddie knows he should be happy for him, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t the teeniest, tiniest bit disappointed when he doesn’t see Buck’s contact flash across his phone.
He does not sulk about it, though.
At least not obviously enough for Chris to notice.
He does stop buying ice cream. Just in case.
And he does ask Buck about the dates, every time, because he’s a good friend, damn it, and he wants to support Buck in everything he ever does, including getting his groove back. He’ll push any and all of his own feelings aside if it means Buck knows that he’s in his corner no matter what.
He’s doing exactly that the night of date number seven, trying instead to focus on watching the Rangers game and not on the fact that Buck is currently at a Mexican restaurant not half a mile away from his house, or how easy it would be to put in an order for pick up so he can casually scope the place out and see how Buck is doing.
He will not be doing that, though, because that crosses far too many lines for his liking. He also doesn’t want to have to explain that one to Frank.
Jonah Heim hits a triple, and Eddie’s phone starts to buzz. And buzz. And buzz. And buzz. 
[from: Buck] eddie sos pls help
[from: Buck] this man has been so rude to our waiter i’m about to lose it
[from: Buck] and i love this place i don’t want them to think i approve of this horrible behavior
[from: Buck] i’m hiding in the bathroom i’m so embarrassed
[from: Buck] i can’t be here anymore pls save me
[from: Buck] eddie
[from: Buck] eDDIE PLEASE
A thrill goes through him, quickly squashed by guilt, because he really should not be so pleased about this. That doesn’t keep a small smile from spreading as he types back, fully prepared for this situation like he promised he would be.
[to: Buck] I’m on it. Go back to the table, I’ll call you in 5. Just play along. 
He gets about 25 heart emojis in response, which sets off another thrill, which brings more guilt. He waits a bit, long enough for a home run from the Guardians to put the Rangers behind, before he clicks Buck’s number. 
Buck answers on the second ring. “Hey Eds, everything okay?”
Eddie hopes the one fluke drama class he took in high school will serve him well now. “Hey man, sorry to interrupt your date, but Chris and I are headed back from the beach and our tire just blew out.” 
“Oh no, are you guys okay?” His concern is so genuine it makes Eddie’s heart beat a little faster before he remembers it's all an act.
“We’re fine,” he says, “but the closest mechanic is like a 5 mile walk from here. I really hate to ask, but—“
“No, it’s okay, I’m on my way. Maybe now you’ll finally listen to me and get Triple A, huh?”
That’s not a lie, he’s been bugging Eddie about it for years now. “You can lecture me all about it later.”
“Oh I will,” he says, and Eddie can hear his smile. “Sit tight, I’ll be there soon.”
They hang up, and it strikes Eddie that if this were real, if he had actually called Buck while he was busy and needed his help, he doesn’t think the conversation would have gone any differently. Buck has always been willing to drop everything for him and Chris, and six months ago that would’ve made him feel awful, like he was taking advantage, but now he just feels…protective. Even in a fake scenario like this. He knows how big and golden Buck’s heart is, but his date clearly doesn’t, and something about that makes Eddie want to shout about it from the top of the Hollywood sign so everyone knows, keep watch over it like a bouncer at a club, only letting the worthy few in.
They weren’t kidding when they said love makes you stupid, even the unrequited kind.
His phone buzzing again breaks him out of his spiral.
[from: Buck] you are my hero 
[from: Buck] he barely even looked at me when i left he was too busy berating the staff
[from: Buck] thank you so much i owe you so big
Eddie doesn’t think before he texts back, just acting on instinct and what he wants.
[to: Buck] You can start your payback by bringing dinner over.
Which he immediately regrets, because maybe Buck doesn’t want to come over. Maybe he’s so affected by the date that he wants to be alone, or maybe he’s on the way to meet up with someone else, and Eddie has served his purpose and been a good friend so why would he—
Another succession of buzzes. 
[from: Buck] done
[from: Buck] me and general tso are on our way
[from: Buck] hope you have beer because i need about 5
And there goes Eddie’s heart singing again. He really needs to get that under control.
20 minutes later, the Rangers are still losing, and the front door swings open revealing Buck, backlit like some kind of angel, holding way too many bags of Chinese takeout. 
“Hope you’re hungry,” he says, dropping the food in the kitchen before flopping next to Eddie on the couch. “I didn’t get to eat dinner and I also had a coupon.”
Eddie snorts. “Of course you did.” They sit in silence for a minute while Eddie debates bringing the date up at all. But, again, he’s a good friend, so he does. “So it was that bad, huh?”
Buck closes his eyes and sighs loudly through his nose. “Imagine the worst person you’ve ever met, multiply their bad attitude by 100, put them in a Patagonia quarter zip and All Birds shoes, and that’s what I got tonight.”
Eddie winces. “So a huge douchebag.”
“He made two waiters cry,” Buck says, “and that was before we even got our appetizers.” He sighs again and looks over at Eddie, eyes and smile both soft and unguarded. “Thank you for saving me.”
Again, Eddie doesn’t think before he answers. “I’ll always save you.” 
Maybe it’s too revealing, maybe he’s showing too many of his cards, but it makes Buck’s smile widen and his eyes get even softer, so Eddie can’t really find it in himself to take his words back. 
“I know you will,” Buck says quietly, reverently, and with a baseball game as background noise and the smell of takeout wafting through the air, Eddie lets himself forget about dates and douchebags and pretend that this is the way things will always be.
~~~~~~~~~~
It happens again. And again. And again and again and again. Every other night for two weeks straight.
Eddie should feel bad, probably, but Buck always looks so relieved when he enters the Diaz house after another disaster, and Eddie can’t help but preen just a little bit at the fact that he is the reason for that relief, for the light in Buck’s eyes, if only for the night.
He’s being a good friend. And maybe a little selfish. But Buck is happy and not dating assholes, so it’s fine.
It’s almost enough.
It’s all Eddie’s got.
“90 minutes of true crime facts?” Chim asks when Buck recounts his latest aborted date in the loft between calls. “That’s annoying and slightly terrifying.”
“I know,” Buck says. “That’s why I left before dessert.”
“I don’t get it,” Hen chimes in from her perch at the kitchen counter. “You used to sleep with anything that moved, and now you can’t even make it through dinner?”
Buck clutches his chest in mock offense. “It’s called having standards, Henrietta. I’m older and wiser now, and I know what I want, and it is not hearing about other people’s murders every day for the rest of my life.”
He says it with such confidence, such surety, and Eddie’s proud, so proud, that Buck knows himself and his worth, but it also kind of stings. He knows what he wants too — who he wants — but he’s pretty sure he’ll never get to have it. He’ll get scraps, the aftermath of bad dates, until there are no more bad dates to speak of, and then everything will be different, and Buck will be gone. And Eddie will somehow have to figure out how to keep going with shrapnel for a heart.
If you talk to him…Frank’s voice echoes in his head, and it’s right, it’s been right, it’s always right, but it’s too late. Eddie missed that boat, and now all he can do is wave from the docks.
Buck’s arm coming to rest across his shoulders brings him back to Earth. “Luckily, I’ve got my knight in shining armor to bail me out and save me.”
“Oh?” Hen asks, eyebrows high. 
Buck nods. “Fake emergency call. Works like a charm.”
“For every bad date?”
“Every one.” 
“Every one?” Chimney repeats.
“Come on, like you two wouldn’t do that for each other.” The matching wide-eyed, jaw-dropped looks of surprise say otherwise. Eddie wants to sink into the couch and disappear forever.
Luckily, Bobby saves him from becoming part of the furniture. “Buck!” he calls from the truck bay. “Come help Ravi clean out the storage closet.”
“On it!” Buck shouts back. He pats Eddie’s chest before bounding down the stairs, and Eddie hates how quickly he misses the warmth, the grounding presence of Buck’s hands on him. Thoughts like that don’t make the “getting over being in love with your best friend” thing very easy.
He doesn’t realize he’s still staring after Buck until a throat clears from the kitchen. Eddie snaps his eyes over, and Hen and Chim are still staring at him, the shock on their face morphing into realization, because of course they figured everything out almost immediately. 
“I know,” he says, scrubbing his hands over his face, half exhausted, half hiding. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Maybe you should,” Chimney says. Eddie peaks through his fingers to look at him, and he looks more sympathetic than anything else now. “With Buck, at least.”
And there’s so many things he could say to that — He’s just getting used to dating again, He doesn’t want me like that, I’ll get over it soon, maybe, hopefully — but one statement, probably the most truthful statement, stands out above the rest.
“If I keep bailing him out like this, I get to keep him a little longer. He’ll find someone eventually who’s everything he wants, but until then, he’s got me.” It’s pathetic, and unbelievably selfish, but Eddie’s too tired to really care. 
Hen moves then, joining him on the couch, resting a gentle, comforting hand on the back of his neck. “You don’t think you’re everything he wants?” she asks.
He doesn’t have an answer that won’t involve a long, painful session with Frank after he admits it out loud, so he stays quiet, and she lets him. Her nails scratch through his hair, lulling him into the closest he’s gotten to peace in months, and for a few minutes, he can pretend this stupid plan of his isn’t breaking is own heart.
~~~~~~~~~~
It’s almost 10pm on a date night, and Eddie hasn’t heard from Buck. They were meeting at 6, so he figured by 8:30, Buck would be on his couch eating lo mein and venting. But 8:30 came and went, and so did 9, and so did 9:30, and Eddie’s heart sank lower and lower until it felt like it was crushing his intestines, because he knows exactly why Buck hasn’t called. He still doesn’t believe in jinxes, but it is some kind of sick, universal irony that he put words to feelings he had vowed would never see the light of day, and not a week later, they were coming back around to bite him in the ass.
He makes it until 10:30 before he breaks out the Ben and Jerry’s from the freezer. At least Chris is asleep and can’t judge him.
This is his own fault. Just like when Buck first got back into dating, Eddie had been so desperate to cling to him, to their family, in any way he could, that he completely disregarded preparing to live life any differently. And part of him quietly hoped that it wouldn’t come to this — that somehow, Buck would figure out all the things that Eddie couldn’t express, that he doesn’t belong in a hazy bar or candlelit restaurant with some stranger he met on an app. He belongs somewhere with people who know him, who see him, who will fight against hell and high water and everything in between to be in his corner.
But Buck doesn’t know any of that, because he’s not a mind reader, as Frank constantly reminds him, and Eddie was too much of a coward to tell him the truth.
Not even the ice cream takes the sting out of that.
When he’s laying in bed an hour later, trying in vain to fall asleep, he remembers that he should probably text Buck and check in. That’s what you do when your best friend has a seemingly successful date — you debrief and congratulate him and tell him you hope it keeps going well. 
But he’s just…can’t.
So he doesn’t.
He puts his phone down and rolls over and adds guilt to the pile of emotions threatening to collapse in his chest.
~~~~~~~~~~
The first thing he hears when he walks into the locker room the next day is Chimney asking, “So, Buckaroo, what did your date do wrong this time?”
Which is followed by Buck laughing and saying, “It actually went really well. We already have date number two planned for next week.”
Which is followed by Eddie seriously considering leaving and calling in sick. He doesn’t even care if that’s dramatic — his stomach is churning, so it’s not really a lie.
Hen spots him before he can bolt, though, and she gives him a look like she can hear his heart crumbling from across the room. 
Busted. 
He tries his best to pull it together, because if Hen already noticed something was wrong, Buck will definitely notice, and Eddie will be damned if he’s the one to wipe Buck’s smile off his face. He squashes everything down — including Frank’s voice echoing that he can’t keep ignoring how he’s feeling — and walks to his locker to get changed.
“Good night last night?” he asks as enthusiastically as he can.
Buck nods. “Yeah, Alex is great. He’s a nurse, he volunteers at an animal shelter on the weekends, supposedly makes a mean chili.”
“Sounds like he’s the whole package,” Eddie says. 
Buck’s face does something complicated for a minute, like a dark cloud passes over it, and his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes afterwards. Eddie’s stomach twists up even worse. He slams his locker closed and faces Buck where he’s bent over tying up his boots. 
“Hey,” he says quietly, waits for Buck to meet his eye. “I’m happy for you, you know that right? You deserve someone good who’s gonna give you the world.” 
The cloud passes again, but Buck’s smile looks more real afterwards, so Eddie takes it as a win. He claps Buck’s shoulder before leaving the locker room, silently promising to do better, to be there for Buck like he should. He’ll listen to him talk about this Alex guy, he'll be friendly whenever he meets him, he’ll be right by his side at the altar at their wedding if it comes to that, anything that’ll prove that he isn’t going anywhere.
If it means living with more heartache and wrestling with more longing, then fine, he will — it’s a small price to pay for Buck’s happiness.
~~~~~~~~~~
There’s a knock at the door as Eddie clears the last of the dinner plates. He catches Chris’ eye across the counter, who looks just as confused as he is — anyone they’d normally expect either has a key or would have texted first.
“It’s probably some salesman,” Eddie says.
“Or a Girl Scout selling cookies,” Chris says brightly. “If it is, can we get Thin Mints?”
Another knock.
Eddie nods towards the door. “See who it is first, then we’ll negotiate.”
Chris heads off, and hears the familiar sounds of the deadbolt unlocking and the door swinging open before—
“Oh! Hi Buck!”
Eddie pauses where he’s loading the dishwasher. That’s weird — he knows for sure he and Alex had another date tonight (number five to be exact, but he kind of hates that he knows that).
Sure enough, the voice he’d recognize anywhere echoes back to him. “Hey buddy. Am I interrupting dinner?”
“No, we just finished. Come in! Dad’s cleaning up the kitchen.”
Jackets are rustled into place and shoes are kicked off before Buck and Chris round the corner back into the kitchen. Buck’s definitely dressed for a date — deep red button down and those perfect jeans again — but his hair is loose from its gel and falling over his forehead, like he’s been running his fingers through it, which he only does when he’s stressed.
“Hey,” he says. He’s smiling, soft and easy like he usually does in this kitchen, but it’s strained, just a touch, and there’s a slight tremor in his voice.
Hmm.
“Hey,” Eddie says back. “Everything alright? How was the date?”
“It was fine. Short. Sorry I didn’t call first, I was—” he’s fidgeting now, his fingers drumming against his pant leg like he doesn’t know what to do with his hands, and it clicks for Eddie then that Buck’s not so much stressed as he is nervous. And he’s not sure if it’s from the date or from coming here or what, but he knows he can’t — won’t — let it stand.
“Buck,” he says quietly, stepping forward to place a hand on his shoulder. He can feel his pulse beating like hummingbird wings through his shirt. “It’s okay. You’re always welcome here, day or night, call or no call, no matter what.”
He feels Buck relax underneath his touch. There’s still an energy simmering under his skin that Eddie can practically see, but for now, he thinks this is enough. As long as Buck knows he doesn’t have to be anxious about being here, with his family.
“Well,” Buck says, voice steadier now, “let me be useful, at least. Can I help clean?”
“Nah, I’m almost done.”
“You can help me with my science homework,” Chris says from the kitchen table, pulling out his folders from his backpack. “As long as you read the instructions first.”
Buck laughs and Eddie swears the whole room gets brighter. “Deal. Show me what we’re learning now.”
The rest of the evening is so…normal. Buck and Chris finish homework while Eddie puts the house back together. They pile on the couch and play Mario Kart until they’re eyes go crossed and Chris is falling asleep at the wheel. They get him in bed, together, before flopping back on the couch, slightly tangled up in each other, and it feels so domestic, so good, that Eddie is almost worried he’s dreaming. But underneath the peace, he can tell the gears in Buck’s head are still churning about something, so he mutes the TV and turns his whole body to face Buck.
“Okay. What’s up? You’ve been practically vibrating since you got here.”
Buck doesn’t look at him, instead moving to stand and pace across the living room, still caught up in his thoughts. Eddie wants to help, but he doesn’t want to push too far, so he waits.
“I was really trying with Alex,” Buck says finally, and Eddie wills himself to stay calm, neutral, supportive. If Buck and Alex have called it quits, he is not going to be happy about it. 
At least not when Buck’s in the same room.
He keeps going. “He was cute and sweet and funny and he's a nurse, for God’s sake, he’s basically a saint. But something was— he just wasn’t—”
“He wasn’t what?”
Buck sighs, hands moving up to run through his hair again. “He wasn’t enough. And it wasn’t even because of something he did this time!”
Even though the words aren’t directed at him, they still sting, and he almost feels bad for Alex. Almost. It’s overshadowed by the pride Eddie always feels when Buck puts himself first. “Why wasn’t he enough?” he asks.
Buck comes to a stop right in front of Eddie and looks at him, really looks at him, long enough for Eddie to start feeling buzzy himself. And for the first time since he arrived, Buck is still and steady and sure.
“He wasn’t enough because he wasn’t you.”
Eddie’s pretty sure the Earth stops spinning. 
“What?” he asks quietly, so he doesn’t break whatever spell he’s fallen under because there’s no way — no way — that Buck meant that the way Eddie wants him to mean it. 
“He wasn’t you, Eds,” Buck says like it’s the simplest, most obvious thing anyone has ever said. “I’ve been going on dates for months now, and I keep trying to find someone who makes me feel as safe and cared for and fucking content as I feel when I’m with you and Chris, and no one’s even come close.” He shrugs. “I think you’ve ruined me.” He winces at his word choice. “In a good way. In the best way.”
Eddie’s brain is completely scrambled, held together only by something that feels a lot like hope. “But—the girl who talked about her ex? And the guy that was mean to the waiters?”
“I mean, yeah, there were some bad ones at first. They got better and more normal eventually, but still. No matter how nice they were or how much fun we seemed to be having, all I could think about was how I was one text message away from being where I actually wanted to be.” 
So many things are flying through his head — shock, a little fear, that hope that’s still growing brighter and brighter. They’re all going so fast that he can’t make any of them stick long enough to form words, to do something, anything, to show Buck that he feels the same, so he says nothing. Which is the absolute wrong thing to do, because he watches Buck retreat back into his head, curling in on himself like he’s trying to protect all his softest parts.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, looking anywhere but Eddie, fingers twitching at his sides again. “This is a lot to dump on you like this. I should’ve waited or something, I don’t know—”
That gets Eddie’s ass in gear. He doesn’t think, he just moves, standing and meeting Buck in the middle of the living room and hauling him in by his fancy shirt collar. Eddie crashes their lips together, and Buck freezes for half a second before melting into it, arms coming around Eddie and pulling them together as close as possible. He feels hands roam up his back and soft moans vibrate against his lips, and he’s pretty sure there’s nowhere else he’s ever going to want to be in his life. Buck bites his bottom lip gently and gets a gasp out of him, and he knows for sure that if he were to die here, in Buck’s arms, with the taste of him still lingering on his tongue, he’d die happy.
He hopes he doesn’t, though. They finally found their way here. They’ve got a lot of lost time to make up for.
“You’ve ruined me too,” he whispers, pulling far enough away to speak but still close enough to feel every inch of Buck, grabbing hold of this miracle chance to tell him everything he’s been feeling for far too long. “You’re all I want, Buck. All I ever want. And I thought I missed my chance when you started dating again, so I just held on to those little post date moments with you, but—” he brings his hands up to cup Buck’s face, marveling at how perfectly they fit together. “You belong here. With us. Chris and I want you, we need you.”
He barely finishes his sentence before Buck is kissing him again, sweet and syrupy slow but still all consuming, pulling Eddie under and making his heart race. Kissing Buck is everything — fireworks and butterflies and the comfort of being exactly where you’re meant to be. It’s more exhilarating than a rope rescue, easier than breathing. It feels like new beginnings and happy endings and home. 
It feels like forever. 
They break apart for air, and Eddie realizes he confessed everything except the most important part. “I love you. So much. In case that wasn’t clear.”
Buck’s smile puts any sunny day to shame, and he leans in to trail kisses down Eddie’s jaw, over his chin, and back to his lips, where Eddie wants them to stay forever.
“I love you too,” he says, punctuated with another kiss. “And Chris.” Another. “Like a huge, stupid amount.”
“Not stupid,” Eddie says, resting their foreheads together. “Perfect.”
It really, really is.
~~~~~~~~~~
[from: Buck] eds
[from: Buck] i’m on a date right now
[from: Buck] with the hottest, smartest, kindest, most incredible guy i’ve ever met in my whole life
[from: Buck] so if i don’t text you later
[from: Buck] it’s probably because i’m getting lucky
Eddie rolls his eyes as his phone keeps buzzing, but he can’t help the fond, likely lovestruck smile that creeps across his face. He looks across the table at Buck, who looks damn near angelic in the low light of the Mexican restaurant where everything kind of started, and sees the same smile mirrored back at him. He nudges Buck’s foot under the table with his own and picks up his phone.
[to: Buck] I have it on good authority that you definitely will get lucky if you put your phone down.
There’s a clatter across the table, and Eddie laughs, freer and happier than he can ever remember being.
[from: Buck] done
[from: Buck] no more games
[from: Buck] i’m all yours
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moonlightbuckleys · 19 days
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wistful sighs (across phone lines) [6x08 coda / 597 words]
“So how was the school dance?”
“Hello to you too, Buck,” Eddie responds with an amused laugh.
Buck rolls his eyes, something that doesn’t translate well over a phone call so he adds dryly, “Hello Eddie—how was the school dance? What did Christopher say about it?”
“He said he had fun, but I’m sure the details you can ask him yourself when you come over for dinner tomorrow—honestly I think he tired himself out tonight, he went to bed without any of the attempts at bargaining for just a little more time.”
“Oh, actually, I wanted to ask—are you cool with rescheduling? Maddie and Chim want to give house-hunting another try after Maddie’s shift tomorrow and asked if I could watch Jee Yun again.”
“Babysitting again, huh?” Buck can almost hear the smirk and eyebrow raise in Eddie’s voice. “Sure you’re up for that?”
“I just wasn’t properly prepared the first time, I have baby gates now—and I’ve hidden all the toilet paper.”
Eddie laughs, and the sound brings warmth to Buck’s chest even from across the phone, “we can reschedule dinner—or maybe Chris and I can swing by tomorrow night with food, give you a little relief from dealing with the terrible twos alone—if you want?”
The warmth spreads its way up to Buck’s face, no doubt with it bringing a light blush, he ducks his head to hide it even though he’s completely alone in his apartment. “Uh, yeah, that sounds great, but I’ll warn you—she’s big into throwing things right now, including her food.”
“I kinda missed that stage with Christopher, so I’m pretty sure it’ll be like—karma—if I get food thrown at me by your niece.”
Buck snorts, “Just remember that tomorrow when you’re trying to get mashed potato out of your hair.”
“No mashed potatoes, got it. Any guidelines on the choice of vegetable?”
“Pretty sure Maddie and Chim will drop off food for her again but uh—apparently she’s really into brussels sprouts right now?”
“Oh, so she is related to you after all.”
“I’ll have you know I was a very normal kid who didn’t like eating vegetables and it wasn’t until my twenties that I became the vegetable aficionado that stands before you today.”
“We’re not even in the same zip code right now.” Eddie points out, amusement laced in his voice.
“Semantics.”
There’s a pause, and Buck’s pretty sure that Eddie’s rolling his eyes and he can’t find it in him to care.
“So does like six work for you?”
“Six sounds perfect—they’re gonna drop Jee off around three thirty so hopefully she can tire herself out a little bit before you get here.”
“Is that code for you’re gonna be utterly exhausted?” Eddie teases.
“Shut up,” Buck huffs, grateful for once that he’s alone in his apartment so that no one can see the giant dopey smile on his face, “I’m not the one who fell asleep at the table at the station the other day.”
“It was two am—we were on a twenty-four-hour shift! And I only dozed off for a few minutes.”
“Whatever you say, Diaz.”
Eddie huffs softly, and Buck can almost perfectly picture him shaking his head in that slow, fond manner he does.
When the silence stretches on a little too long for a normal casual phone conversation, Buck glances at the clock on his stove and lets out a little wistful sigh. “I should let you go—before you fall asleep on me again. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” Eddie replies, his own voice sounding almost wistful in its softness, “see you tomorrow.”
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princessfbi · 2 days
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Midpoint Line Game
Tagged by @thekristen999
Rules: Pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the midpoint, pick a line (s), and share it! Then tag 10 people.
The Warmth (of You)
The first press of his fingertips was nothing more than a passing graze but it still had Buck hissing as he arched away. The pain crashed through him in waves without any indication when the tide would change and a pained keen fell out of him before he could stop it. 
Oh Captain (My Captain), Our Fearful Trip is Done 
Bobby lurched after them but Dallas dropped a hand onto his shoulder and kept him in place until Trevor yanked Buck back down onto his knees and pointed a gun to his head.
Tear Me to Pieces; Skin to Bone
He’d been expecting Eddie to text or maybe even call before collapsing in his own bed but Buck had been pleasantly surprised when he stirred from his… third?...  nap to find a zombie Eddie Diaz crawling under the covers beside him and pulling him close.
Smoke and Ashes Brushed Off with Ink 
The rest of the tattooing flew by as Maddie took the shading like a champ and when she was done, Eddie rewarded her with the coveted strawberry kiwi capri sun. He tossed Buck the fruit punch with a wink that made Buck blush so deeply he was sure that his stubble would burn off. 
I Don't Mind Waiting (If It's For You) 
“He went after Buck, Lena.” The burning hot inferno growled to life in his chest making his voice strangled to his own ears. A rough imitation to his own sound as he kept from slamming his fist into the nearest available surface as he could find. Maybe then some of the kinetic sparking fight that was running like volts up and down his arms would tamper down. Or maybe it wouldn’t. 
What a Wicked Thing to Do (to Let Me Dream of You)
Eddie’s knees bracketed Buck’s hips as he tilted his head up so that Buck had to bend back to chase after his lips. Those firm hands curled around his wrist again, pinning them to the mattress as Eddie took control of the kiss.
Yes. Yes! That was familiar. That was something Buck knew how to handle. Eddie taking what Buck was willing to give which was turning out to be everything if it meant being seen by someone.
If I Risk It All (Could You Break My Fall?) 
The accent was too worn on the consonants and too familiar with the melody of the vowels to be fake. And despite the accent— British, maybe London— Eddie knew that voice. 
He knew the sound it made when Eddie found that perfect spot mid sentence. He knew it when it would climb higher and higher into breathlessness when excited. He knew it when the words would go flat whenever he was annoyed.
Eddie knew it like the sound of his own name on that tongue. 
Buck.
Falling Slowly; Sing Your Melody (I’ll Sing It Loud) 
Buck spent the majority of the drive with his head back and his eyes closed but Eddie knew he wasn’t sleeping. His thumb was too busy tapping out the tempo of the song over and over again against his knee cap. Eddie slid his hand over the nervous twitching when Buck’s thumb started to blur after he lost the consistency.
To Look and Be Seen 
Buck was leaning against the wall, looking like sin and smiling at Eddie with a drunk look on his face.
She Made Herself Stronger (by Fighting with the Wind) 
In hindsight, Buck probably could’ve thought of a better way to tell Maddie that he wasn’t going to college than running into the bookstore and announcing to everyone that he was going to become a firefighter instead.
This was fun! I'm going tag @buddie-buddie @mellaithwen @homerforsure @lovebuck @bigfootsmom @renecdote @prettyboybuckley @swiftiebuckleys
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swiftiediaz · 3 hours
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hi bestie can i request number 9 from the one true pairing prompts pleaseeee ❤️
hi gary! for you? anything, bestie! 💗
9. taking pictures when the other’s not watching
Buck tells Eddie he used to be really into photography when he was younger and that he even took a course in college before being expelled and then having to sell his camera to give his parents some of the money he wasted back.
He says it in passing one day, shrugging and not even thinking twice about it, like it's not a big deal. Like he didn't quit one of his passions because his parents were too far up their own asses to pay attention to their own son.
Of course, Eddie can't let it go or be normal about it. He pictures a young Evan Buckley, full of energy and shiny eyes with a camera in hand, eager to capture a moment in time in a picture. It's kind of endearing and it makes his heart squeeze in his chest.
So of course, he buys Buck a camera for his birthday— nothing fancy, Eddie's on a budget. But it's fancy enough and professional enough, he thinks.
Buck loves it. He lights up and beams at him and it's worth every penny just to have Buck look at him like Eddie's worth his time, like he hung the moon, the stars and the sun in the sky. Eddie's kind of addicted to that look, it makes him feel loved and seen and— yeah.
The point is, Buck loves the camera.
And then he's taking pictures of everything.
Like when they're at one of Bobby's barbecues and Eddie tips his head back and laughs, eyes sparkling as he grins happily at something funny Christopher says. Buck takes a picture of that exact moment, wanting to treasure it forever.
Or when Chimney says a bad joke, Buck takes a picture of Eddie— his hand held out, mid-way through a laugh, an easy smile on his face.
Buck just— he loves Eddie. And Eddie's so— pretty, and beautiful, and stunning and Buck aches for him.
So, he takes pictures of the man. Sue him.
And then they start dating and his fill of Eddie pictures gets bigger.
He takes a photo of Eddie when he's in the kitchen, his head down and focused on cutting the veggies just right. He takes a picture of Eddie napping on the couch, head tilted at an uncomfortable angle, drooling a little over the pillow and the glow of the tv making his features look softer and a little younger.
He takes a picture of Eddie in the kitchen in the morning, having breakfast with Christopher and making the kid laugh by getting a cream mustache on purpose, looking kind of ridiculous and really adorable.
And then Eddie smiles over at him, so soft and teasing and fond that Buck's breath catches in his throat.
“I swear, I’ll break that thing if you don’t get that out of my face," Eddie says, trying to look intimidating, but the fond smile still persists, tugging at his lips, so Buck's not really worried.
-
Soon enough the pictures, the ones framed all around Eddie's house become Buck's, they are all taken by him. Candids of Eddie and Chris, them not even noticing they were being photographed in the moment but finding out much later. They’re everywhere, in frames from the vintage shop a block away from Buck's old loft.
send me a prompt 💌
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prettyboybuckley · 2 days
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One Line, Any Fic
Pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the midpoint, pick a line, and share it! Then tag you’re it!
tagged by all these lovelies: @monsterrae1, @elvensorceress, @buddierights @rogerzsteven @princessfbi
I used one of those random wheels to choose these because there is, well, a lot of choice. And it means you guys get a little bit of everything! (Well, none of the sentences are really that smutty, but half the fics are). Also, some of them are two lines.
1. parents always yelling (telling us to get our acts together)
“What on earth made you make this decision, Eddie? Didn’t we say you shouldn’t drag Christopher down with you?” his father says.
2. oh i'm so tired of thinking like this all the time
And he knows that the phrasing was different the first time, that he's supposed to tell Frank what he wants to gain from these sessions, but it seems that his brain-to-mouth filter has completely left the building as he blurts out: "I just want to be enough for once."
3. stupid for you (you take my breath away)
"I don't think mom would appreciate it if you guys fucked in her kitchen," she says, and Eddie can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. 
4. open up again (i believe in second chances)
He desperately wants to hold on to Buck, but he's too paranoid that his claws might come out and he'll hurt him. 
5. tell me, would you cry for me?
“Come on, baby,” Eddie says, letting go of Buck's neck to tangle his fingers in Buck's curls. “Cry for me, yeah?” 
6. oh, to think i could have lost you
"Stop being so distracting," Eddie mumbles as the water finally starts to run clear, the soot all washed away. It's easier than any single love confession that could fall from his lips right now. 
7. when will my reflection show who i am inside
There is something about being accepted by someone who picks you. Who decides they want to be with you just how you are.
8. welcome to the end of being alone inside your mind
"No, no," Eddie says with a chuckle. "Just putting out some things so you can cook, because I want pasta. I'll make the little princess some banana mash."
9. i've got my eyes on you
Eddie should be ashamed, he should look away, should go back downstairs, but he can't tear his eyes away from the sight.
10. stole my heart and i knew before we even met
"I can't believe you're here," Eddie murmurs after a while, brushing Buck's hair back from his forehead and gazing down at him. "It's kind of insane." 
tagging @swiftiediaz @holdmygum @lostinabuddiehaze @bigfootsmom @morganofthefairies @honestlydarkprincess ❤️
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anxieteandbiscuits · 2 days
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thank you, nancy | 2.9k
He snaps his mouth shut, cheeks flushing with confusing heat as Nancy cocks her head at him.
"And Buck is...?" She raises her eyebrows.
"He's, well..." Eddie blinks.
Buck is the guy who likes to fix things. Buck is Eddie's first call any time of the night or day whether he wants to spiral about Chris growing up, tell a funny story, complain about somebody in the grocery store. Buck is the person Christopher runs to when he's angry or upset with Eddie. Buck is the person who show up on the doorstep with a six-pack and a pizza because he knows the Diaz boys are having a bad day just from the way they text. Buck is the person who arranges fun outings for the three of them, but never to the beach because Buck is also the person who almost died looking for Christopher. Buck is the person who always indulges Chris with ice cream, but says no to extra toppings. Buck is the person who sits down next to Eddie in the bunk room when they lose a kid on a call. Buck is the person who always shows up for Chris even when he's struggling with the idea of a child biologically his coming into existence. Buck is the person—
Buck is his person.
Buck is his person.
Buck is...
Shit, Buck is everything.
"Oh." He blushes down at his plate of half-eaten food. "Oh."
(OR: eddie dates, it doesn't go well... for nancy, it goes great for eddie)
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thatbuddie · 4 months
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keep me as your finish line
buck/eddie | rated e | 33k words | aka the gym crush au 
“Oh no, we’re not doing this.” Chimney pops a bubble with the gum he’s been chewing as he moves one of his fingers back and forth to point between The-Man-who-isn’t-Buck’s-man-he’s-just-The-Man and Buck. “You didn’t drag me to the gym just so you can ditch me to fuck some guy in the showers.”
Buck lowers his voice, leaning forward as if trying to make the words’s journey shorter between him and Chimney so they can’t escape and reach anyone else’s ears,“I wouldn’t fuck him in the showers.”
Chimney’s response is wordless in the form of an eyebrow raise.
“Not anymore, okay?” Buck clarifies, rolling his eyes. “That’s not who I am now.”
(spoiler alert: Buck does fuck the guy in the showers. but that comes after nicknaming him Big Beautiful Brown Eyes, finding out his name is actually Eddie, becoming best friends with him, and falling madly and deeply in love.)
(read on ao3.)
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