#we don’t need romanticism to care enough to ask how your day was. or to come over to your house and laugh and cry and check-in
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I've been thinking about the twst guys + mainly wondering who'd be most likely to get baby fever,,,
Malleus is definitely high on the list imo, as is Kalim... I think also Deuce and Rook?
Leona might not. He's already tired of dealing with Che'ka, he's probably not interested in the idea of raising a kid himself lol.
This is aged-up/set in the future where all of them are at least mid to late twenties and thinking about having children!
Most to Least Likely to Get Baby Fever:
Most Likely
Kalim had so many younger siblings growing up that he loved. That, combined with his friendly and social nature, makes me think he would love to have kids and a lot of them too. He’d be so excited to have his own family so he’d definitely get baby fever once he had a partner.
Malleus doesn’t have a lot of experience with children, but I think having a family of his own is something he would like because of his desire for closeness and a sense of domesticity, especially once he has a partner that he loves. You can’t stop this man from sweet talking you into having the next royal heir (and many more, after that).
Rook, despite what his proclivities might suggest, is very loving and dedicated to his family. He’s surprisingly domestic with his ability to cook and clean, and he loves children. He’s the most likely to have baby fever and randomly come home one day with a bunch of orphans for you to adopt.
Lilia already has Silver, of course, and I think he’d be very nostalgic for Silver’s childhood when he was still just a young baby. I imagine he’d love to relive that eventually, especially if he has a partner by his side to help him give Silver some siblings.
Jack’s wolf beastman thing about having only one partner his entire life makes me think that he’s much more domestic than he lets on. He wants the whole mate for life and have a family fantasy, and he’d definitely start to feel the baby fever once he had a partner he’s settled down with.
Deuce also has a domestic fantasy of sorts, I think he’d want to have children, but he’d also be shy about it. When he sees you playing with the neighbourhood kids, he can’t help but think about having kids together. His mom also bugs him about grandkids, so he’s encouraged by that too.
Trey is absolute househusband material, so he definitely gets baby fever once he’s settled down. I think he’d love to have kids and is pretty confident he’d be a great father, so he doesn’t feel the need to repress his desire to have a family once him and his partner have settled into their lives.
Cater wants children, probably gets baby fever from all the family vlog content he sees. You really have to sit him down and ask him if he knows all the responsibility that no one talks about. He’ll need some time to learn, but once he does he’s game on again and wanting to be a dad.
Ruggie is ambivalent because while he’s used to taking care of the kids in his town (and it comes naturally to him), he knows how insanely expensive kids can be. Once he gets a good enough job to only have to work one, I think he wouldn’t want to go back to working multiple all to have a kid. Thus, has baby fever occasionally but the cold hands of capitalism drag him back to reality.
Vil is someone I think would like to have a couple kids someday, but he’s in no rush considering his career. As he gets older and starts to see everyone else his age have a family, he would start to romanticize it more and more in his mind until he’s coming to you and asking to have a baby with his blond hair and your beautiful eyes.
Silver is relatively levelheaded, so he may get mild baby fever once he has a partner that he’s settled down with, but it’s never a huge priority in his mind. May daydream about it occasionally, but it’s a ‘see as we go’ type thing, not a decided plan.
Sebek is pretty traditional because of his upbringing, thus he does want kids with his partner eventually. At the same time, Sebek and kids don’t exactly mesh. He’d be a lot more mature at this point which would help, but his interactions with children do lessen his baby fever occasionally.
Jade is pretty relaxed about it, while he might want to have children, it’s more planned than anything. He’s aware of the responsibilities and fine with them, he just wants to wait for the right time. Also, he doesn’t care too much for other people’s children, so it will be more the situation with his partner that makes him eager to have his own family.
Floyd does get struck with moments of baby fever, but his mood swings mean it’s often just a passing thought that will dispel as soon as he remembers that kids aren’t just fun and rainbows 24/7. He finds kids fun, but can’t handle the responsibility of a lifetime commitment. Every time he starts to hint that he might want kids with you again, you just have to show him a picture of a diaper and he’ll be like ‘oh wait nvm.’
Epel is kind of in between, he doesn’t hate children but he doesn’t particularly love them either. He would want a family eventually, but doesn’t get struck with the urge to have babies particularly often, only when he’s feeling nostalgic for his own family.
Riddle is pretty self-aware about his trauma, and it scares him away from having children. He does want his own child, but he’s too afraid to become his mother. If you reassure him enough, he’ll let the domestic fantasy overtake his fear, and start to get excited about having a child in the future.
Azul is too busy working to really think about having a family. He wouldn’t mind having one or two eventually, but he doesn’t really dream about having kids when you and his work keep him busy enough.
Ace doesn’t have the patience for kids or the desire to have them. He’s happy to be the fun uncle to his brother’s kids and give them back once they need actual parenting. He might want to have one kid eventually, but he’d much rather it just be him and his partner for now.
Idia knows he can barely take care of himself, how can anyone expect him to take care of a kid? He’s happy with his little family of you and Ortho, no baby fever for Idia.
Jamil’s already had a child to take care of his whole life (Kalim) so he’s disillusioned with the fantasy of domestic bliss and having kids since he knows all its pitfalls. He won’t be getting baby fever anytime soon.
Leona explicitly doesn’t like kids, so I think his placement here is pretty self-explanatory. He’s aware just how difficult it is to raise a child and he honestly has no interest in it for now. When he’s feeling a bit sappy, I think he might fantasize about having a family from time to time, but he knows he only would enjoy the ‘good’ parts and not any of the work, so he wouldn’t want to go through with it.
Least Likely
#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#malleus draconia x reader#kalim al asim x reader#rook hunt x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#jack howl x reader#deuce spade x reader#trey clover x reader#cater diamond x reader#ruggie bucci x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#twst silver x reader#sebek zigvolt x reader#jade leech x reader#floyd leech x reader#epel felmier x reader#riddle rosehearts x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#idia shroud x reader#ace trapolla x reader#jamil viper x reader#leona kingsholar x reader#twst#twisted wonderland
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You know something I've noticed? Yeah, Nifty is your typical yandere but can we talk about Vox? You technically don't even have to request him as a yandere unless you want it to be romanticized toward you and/or further explored because according to ALL of the recent regular Vox x readers (and the show itself), he clearly has many traits of one especially toward Alastor. He acts like a toxic, jealous ex 😂 He cyberstalks people for one, he's manipulative, insecure (this is where possessiveness and jealousy tends to stem from), doesn't take rejection well as we heard from Al, is capable of being obsessed with someone, and an overall control freak. He wants to keep the Vees' image and everything looking perfect. Imagine this guy being attached to you. An absolute nightmare. Never any privacy, eyes and ears everywhere, can teleport with or without a screen, blackmail is 100% on the table as well as other tactics, and constant validation for him whether your relationship is forced or not. What sucks about the last part is that it's a double-edged sword. If you fuel his ego, he's enabled but if you don't give him enough attention, he'll try harder and tighten his hold on you. So while Val absolutely horrible, it's like you can never win with Vox. Not when you don't have equal power and he's stated to be very strong. Especially these days, tech is an absolute must since even jobs heavily rely on it. Life and the afterlife here is much harder without a smartphone. He's literally a TV. He wants to be watched and noticed.
So he'll get it.
exactly brooo
cw: themes of manipulation, blackmail, and toxic, controlling relationships.
gender neutral
:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:
ੈ✧̣̇ || honestly atp he’s practically a canon yandere.
ੈ✧̣̇ || i kinda talked about this before but i feel like he would manipulate reader into thinking that they need him when its the other way around
ੈ✧̣̇ || as u said, he’s insecure as hell and he needs someone to boost his ego and make him look superior
ੈ✧̣̇ || he also needs some source of stability in his (after) life which is where you come in.
ੈ✧̣̇ || hed also never let things go or get over you.
ੈ✧̣̇ || he started beef with a dude that he hadn’t seen in 7 whole years, for gods sake 😭
ੈ✧̣̇ || bro will start fights over things that happened months ago and are over now done with
ੈ✧̣̇ || he also craves control, not only will he spy on you through your electronics but he’ll also try and control other things that he has no business controlling like what you wear, who you talk to, ect.
ੈ✧̣̇ || if you mention your concerns about it he’ll try and back off, but hes just so paranoid that something will happen to you even though he knows you’re capable of taking care of yourself.
ੈ✧̣̇ || he needs to feel like he’s needed.
ੈ✧̣̇ || he also exerts his control by threatening you with blackmail, wether it be secrets that you told him or pictures.
ੈ✧̣̇ || not like you don’t have a fair amount of dirt on him too, though.
ੈ✧̣̇ || he’d definitely fight a bitch for you, if you’re getting threatened, stalked, and/or harassed by someone (that isnt him ofc) said person better prepare for his wrath.
ੈ✧̣̇ || hes a whiny ass bitch which is either annoying or hot depending on who you ask and what the context is.
ੈ✧̣̇ || its also kind of confusing how he acts, he’ll be practically ignoring you one second and begging for your attention the next.
ੈ✧̣̇ || another reason why he’s so scared of you leaving is because of how vulnerable he’s been to you.
ੈ✧̣̇ || he’s told you things that he’s never told anyone, shown parts of him that no one has ever seen, and the thought of what you could do with this info if you ever were to turn on him makes him feel sick to the stomach.
ੈ✧̣̇ || despite how it feels sometimes he really does care about and love you, he just has an unhealthy mindset when it comes to love.
ੈ✧̣̇ || perhaps you should stay around (not like u rlly have a choice), teach him how to love someone properly. you wont regret it :)
:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:
i do requests!
check out my masterlist!
#vox#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x you#vox x reader#hazbin vox#vox x you#x reader
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Getting a job:
How to Write a Resume so You Actually Have a Prayer of Getting Hired
How to Write a Cover Letter like You Actually Want the Job
Ask the Bitches: What the Hell Else Can I Do to Get a Job?
How to Frame Volunteering on Your Resume When You’ve Never Had a Job
How To Get Ready For a Job Interview: Prep Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
Common Job Interview Questions and How to Answer Them with the Confidence of a Mediocre White Dude
10 Questions You Should Never Be Asked in a Job Interview
What to Wear (and What Not to Wear) to a Job Interview
What to Do When You’re Asked About Your Salary Requirements in a Job Interview
How NOT to Determine Your Salary
How to Find Remote Work: On Getting the Elusive Work-From-Home Job
High School Students Have No Way of Knowing What Career to Choose. Why Do We Make Them Do It Anyway?
The Actually Helpful, Nuanced, Non-Bullshit Way to Choose a Future Career
Myers-Briggs Personalities and Income: What Your Type Says About Your Salary
I Just Applied for a Job. How (And When) Should I Follow Up?
Our Best Secrets for a Successful, Strategic, and SHORT Job Search
Season 2, Episode 11: “I Tripped and Fell into a Career I Don’t like. How Do I Reinvent Myself?”
Freelancing and side jobs:
Should Artists Ever Work for Free?
Stop Undervaluing Your Freelance Work, You Darling Fool
Romanticizing the Side Hustle: When 1 Job Isn’t Enough
The Ugly Truth About Unpaid Internships
Freelancer, Protect Thyself… With a Fair Contract
Ask the Bitches: My Boss Won’t Give Me a Contract and I’m Freaking Out
I Lost My Job and It Might Be the Best Worst Thing That’s Ever Happened to Me
Becoming a Millennial Entrepreneur (in the Midst of a Pandemic) with Katelyn Magnuson
11 Awful Mistakes I Made as a Self-Employed Freelancer, and How YOU Can Avoid Them
Workplace benefits:
Workplace Benefits and Other Cool Side Effects of Employment
Your School or Workplace Benefits Might Include Cool Free Stuff
Your Yearly Free Medical Care Checklist
Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One?
How to Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year
Season 2, Episode 6: “Someone Offered to Mentor Me! How Do I Be a Non-Sucky Mentee?”
Navigating the workplace:
My Secret Weapon for Preparing for Awkward Boss Confrontations
Are You Working on the Next Fyre Festival?: Identifying a Toxic Workplace
Woke at Work: How to Inject Your Values into Your Boring, Lame-Ass Job
Can Looking Weird at Work Be Good for Your Career?
Why Is Short Hair Controversial? An Examination of Expensive, Annoying Beauty Standards
Season 1, Episode 1: “Should I Tell My Boss I’m Looking for Another Job?”
You WILL Regret Accepting Your Coworker’s Social Media Friend Request
Season 1, Episode 5: “I Don’t Love My Job, but It Pays Well. Should I Quit—or Tough It Out?”
Season 2, Episode 7: “How Do I Throw My Incompetent Coworkers under the Bus?”
Sexual Harassment: How to Identify and Fight It in the Workplace
Getting a raise:
Salary Range: Are You Asking for Enough?
A Millennial’s Guide to Growing Your Salary
The First Time I Asked for a Raise
You Need to Ask for a Fucking Raise
Should You Increase Your Salary or Decrease Your Spending?
Getting a promotion:
Santa Isn’t Coming and Neither Is Your Promotion: How To Get Promoted
How I Chessmastered Myself Into a Promotion at Work
Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty by the Numbers
The Fascinating Results of Our Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty Poll
I Hate My Job and I Don’t Know How To Leave It: A Confession
A New Job, a New Day, a New Life, and I’m Feeling Good
Season 1, Episode 9: “I’ve Given up on My Dream Career. Where Do I Go From Here?”
Working remotely
How to Successfully Work from Home Without Losing Your Goddamn Mind (Or Your Job)
How to Find Remote Work: On Getting the Elusive Work-From-Home Job
8 Genres of Productivity Music (Plus Our Secret Stash of Personal Favorites)
My 25 Secrets to Successfully Working from Home with ADHD
#resume#cover letter#job search#job hunt#getting a job#get a job#career advice#job search advice#job#freelancing
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Hello,
I’ve been in this community for a while already, maybe since 2021 but I haven’t really been keeping count. My journey has mostly been a mixture of being desperate and uncommitted. There would be times where I would put in a lot of effort for 1-2 days but honestly would just burn myself out because I would let doubts rule me. So many times I’ve said I’m going to enter and log off tumblr to do it, but I kept logging back in and looking for more information or letting drama that’s always going on in this community affect me. For a whole month I actually managed to stay off void and loa tumblr by creating another account and strictly using that for fics I read. I didn’t really persist because I kept putting it off and I don’t even know why. I logged back on and realized I don’t find myself wanting to continue the same loop that I see a lot of people still chasing. Stepping back, I really see how useless and self sabotaging it is and I know most people are aware of this too but don’t want to break the habit by letting this desperation go.
There’s always going to be the feeling that you’re missing something or that there’s something better for you to try as a method if you keep holding on to the desperation. This loop is dangerous because it’s so easy to fall into and it gets comfortable. People get distracted by new things to try or by drama that’s always circulating. These things can seem exciting and curious but they really don’t matter. We’re not here to feed into tumblr drama, to learn all about it, find out who’s lying/telling the truth, to accuse others, etc. Most of us are going to be gone as soon as we enter void. Who cares about keeping up with the latest void methods and tumblr drama when you’re not even going to think back on it after you succeed. You already know everything you need to know. Don’t make this your “comfortable zone”. People get used to this familiarity of trying, wishing and hoping together, and following the latest news and trends that they get comfortable like this.
I don’t know how to word this but I’ve also seen people romanticize their struggles together. Community is so great and a place to relate to others, but lots of people make it a group effort to struggle. Reaching void state isn’t a group effort. You don’t need to ask others to manifest for you and you don’t need to wait for others to try something out to see if it works. You also don’t need validation from others and expect them to dissect what you did wrong. Someone else’s journey or attempts doesn’t correlate to yours so don’t let it decide yours (unless you know it helps you). You shouldn’t feel discouraged by someone else’s attempts because it’s not yours.
Community is so helpful, but individuality is the key. You need to do this for yourself and by yourself at the end of the day. I know it can be hard but really it’s all up to you and it’s so worth it. People can help you through advice and you can relate to people, but you need to be the one making the choices and putting in the effort to persist.
I saw someone on your page say they are going to log off and persist and (I think) come back with their success. They’re so right and I’m honestly going to do the same. I tried staying off void tumblr for a whole month and it wasn’t too hard. It allowed me to really reflect on myself, which I encourage people who can relate to this post, do. I read your tough love post about how some people will never get their dream life because of a lack of persistence/backbone and their mindset. This post really hit me because it represented my views on void tumblr and my previous struggle with the void state. I really don’t want to be this person anymore so I won’t be. I will succeed this time because there really is no other option. I’ve honestly had enough and I’ve already wasted enough time. These are just my thoughts and I encourage people to get off void/loa tumblr and just persist. You don’t need an epiphany to hit you to finally enter void state. But if you do, take the Not so Sugar and Spice post (I believe that’s what it’s called) as one.
Sorry for over sharing and the long post, but I really wanted to get this off my chest and I wanted to let people know that no matter how much you’ve struggled with the void and mindset in the past, kind of like me, you can still make the choice to persist and break habits that don’t benefit you.
I want to say thank you for your post for the inspiration and goodbye for now 💞
I’m SO SO proud of you 💗💗💗
And yes I too recommend that post to people who are mindlessly roaming void and loa tumblr looking for methods to enter the void state because that isn’t going to get them anywhere.
#void state#void#law of assumption#loa blog#loa tumblr#loassumption#loablr#manifestation#loa#loa success#loa success story#void success story#void state success stories#void state success story#the void state#void challenge#void concept#void success#self concept#neville goddard
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Hey!
So I saw your Yan. Fyodor fic and enjoyed it a lot, aaand I saw that your requests are open.
So maybe something with Yan! Poe where before reader would get abducted or anything, they clearly express that they like him (ofc. not in an obsessive way, but like, a crush). Like thes praise his works, they compliment him a lot, all that nice things. How would he react?
Anyways, that was just an idea, if it's not something you'd like to write, that's perfectly fine too.
Have a nice day!
Your Sweet Yandere Author
Warnings: Implied kidnapping, unhealthy dynamic, romanticization of abusive relationships, implied manipulation
I do NOT condone any of this.
Edgar Allan Poe x Genderless Reader
(Off topic, look how adorable Karl looks here!)
You don’t know what happened. One minute you were hanging out with your dear friend, Edgar Allan Poe. The next, you were in a different world so unfamiliar, it was as if you were in a novel.
Your eyes widened at the thought “A... novel...?” You whispered and your voice quivered as you figured out why you couldn’t recognize anything “Has... Has Poe trapped me inside of a novel?” You asked but there was no one to answer, though you were certain you were correct.
You were aware of Poe’s ability, the ability to trap someone inside the world of a novel, but... There was no way that Poe would do this, yes, he did have a need to one up his friend and rival, Ranpo Edogawa, but he had nothing against you, he wouldn’t do this.
You tried to think of any excuse you could to try and keep Poe in a good light in your eyes, but the reality was, he abducted you, and there was no changing that fact. The only why you could confront him was to figure out the book.
Poe watched the pages of the book you were ensnared in turn. He watched with a smile on his face “I know you are smart, my dear Y/n, but I’m not surprised that you are taking so long, I did make it trickier than the other ones I had challenged you with, so I could get you here without you breaking out.” Poe said with Karl on his desk, he sat next to the book waiting for you to get out. He always enjoyed the way you petted and played with him.
Poe let out a chuckled “Do not worry Karl, Y/n will figure it out eventually, then I promise you can play for as long as you want.” Poe reassured Karl, who let out a happy chip, before the book glowed brighter, and soon enough you came out.
Karl was ecstatic when you finally figured it out and jumped into your arms, rubbing against you, as you looked at Karl in fearful shock.
“Poe... Why...?” You mumbled in a quivering voice, Poe chuckled “Why? Because I love you my dear.” Poe said so casually, it was like he didn’t care that what he did was wrong as he held your face in his hands “And I would do anything to make sure that you are mine!” He smiled widely, proud that he finally got the one he loved more than himself. The one that could truly understand him.
That smile soon faded when he took a closer look at your expression “Why so scared, don’t you love me too? You love Karl as if he was your own.” Poe asked, he kept his hands on your face, caressing your cheeks tenderly.
“Do you need a little convincing? Cause I can do that.” Poe suggested with his smile returning, he had been wanting someone to love and someone to love him back, he thought he had found that in you.
...
No...
He DID find that in you. You just haven’t seen it yet. That must be it.
“I can help you see that you love me Y/n, all you need to do... Is relax.” Poe whispered as he leaned into finally kiss you. His lips were soft and tender, but everything about it felt wrong as Karl jumped back on his shoulder.
Once he pulled away after a few seconds “Why? Where did you get the idea I loved you?” You ask tilting your head in confusion “I mean, I do, as a friend, but...” You looked into his eyes, and you couldn't help but think on how beautiful they were. The adoration for you that filled them, your heart lit up at it.
“There we go...” Poe said as he seen you become less tense.
“I told you that you just needed some convincing that you had love for me.” Poe whispered as he took your hand and helped you off the floor. Keeping you close to him and stroking your head.
You keep forgetting how tall he is. Your head about reached his heart, hearing it beat. Beat for you. Poe planted a soft kiss on your head. “Can you fault me? The way you always praise my work, the way you call me ‘cute’ whenever I am flustered, even the way you look at me. Is it really a surprise I fell so deeply in love with you.
When he put it like that, you guess you couldn't exactly fault him.
◇◇◇
As the months went by, Poe wasn’t exactly ‘obsessive’. You just, had to always have him or Karl with you when you went out, he gave you gifts that reminded him of you, kissing you whenever he could, saying he’d miss you whenever you were apart from him for a long time.
He didn’t that Ranpo had distanced himself from him because of what he did to you. Ranpo didn’t understand what true love was like. And he wouldn’t understand until he fell in love with someone.
All that Poe needed, was you, and that wouldn’t change anything.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsdfan#bungo stay dogs#bsd x you#poe bsd#poe x reader#yandere poe bsd#poe bungou stray dogs#karl bsd
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TUMBLR TEXT POST SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. 2 ;
75 starters. CW: blood mention, cussing, death. Starters come from various text posts floating around Tumblr. The only thing changed for this post was adding capitalization and punctuation. Feel free to change words and pronouns as needed!
[PART 1]
“Academia is cool and sexy until I’m expected to work.”
“An anime with more than a hundred episodes is a bigger commitment than marriage.”
“Anyone who believes all water tastes the same is no acquaintance of mine.”
“Anyway, that’s every reported eyewitness account of Mothman through ‘68, and that’s just in West Virginia! Haha, but enough about me. Let’s hear about your top five cryptids!”
“Aside from being the worst person alive, I am literally perfect.”
“At the end of the day, I’m just a girl who loves her bed.”
“Being equally obsessed with each other sounds hot to me.”
“Being good doesn’t get you anything.”
“Be the worst you can be.”
“But do aliens believe in me?”
“Don’t let anyone dehumanize you. Dehumanize yourself. Be the creeping eldritch horror you’ve always longed to be. Rain furious vengeance down upon those who would unmake you.”
“Do something today that would’ve gotten you burnt at the stake four hundred years ago.”
“Do you ever just want someone to come over and sit on the floor with you for a few hours?”
“Do you ever wanna listen to music, but every song is just not the right song?
“Feeling safe around someone’s energy is a different kind of intimacy.”
“Flirting is childish. We’re grown. Just tell the person you like that you see God in their eyes.”
“Friendly reminder that the age of technology is coming to an end and a new age of blood magic and dark rituals will take its place.”
“Friendship is temporary. Blood pacts are forever.”
“Girls don’t want boys. Girls want to live in a Victorian estate and be the most feared widow in the village.”
“Half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half of me is, well, an asshole.”
“Having a body causes me so much agony. I wish I was just a floating entity with no physical form.”
“How do I overthink so much and still make the wrong decision?”
““I can fix him!” You can’t even fix your sleep schedule, bestie.”
“I don’t care if your body is a temple. Call me when it’s been closed down and taken over by Spirit Halloween.”
“I don’t know about soulmates, but those people who eat parts of the food or candy that you don’t like and you do the same for them... We’ve lived a hundred lifetimes together, probably.”
“I don’t think we can romanticize our way out of this one, boys.”
“If you see me in the streets, just know that my mind is in the void. I’m physically alive, but mentally checked out.”
“I guess we all learned a valuable lesson. Except for me. I wasn’t paying attention and was asleep for most of the time.”
“I hate when people ask what I would do in their situation because nine times out of ten, I would literally never be in that situation in the first place.”
“I hope manners is the next cool trend.”
“I just love sleep so much. Like, you just close your eyes and you’re gone, bitch. Brain logged the fuck off. Powerful.”
“I just realized there’s, like, a hundred new Pokémon coming this year, give or take, and I have to decide what personal memories and details about friends to forget in order to make room for them all.”
“I like my women like I like my woods. Haunted and could kill me at any moment.”
“I like to fuck around and waste time at least six to ten hours a day, and let me tell you, that puts some pressure on your schedule. You have no idea how busy I am.”
“I love to learn. Unfortunately, my brain doesn’t like to remember.”
“I love when I ‘make a mental note’ of something. It’s gone within twenty seconds.”
“I’m not a religious person, but I do sometimes think God made you for me.”
“I’m not playing hard to get. I genuinely don’t know how to talk.”
“I’m wearing dark glasses today because I’m seeing the future, and the future is looking very bright.”
“I think it’s so neat that everyone develops their own unique handwriting even though we’re all taught to write our letters the same way. Really, it’s so cute.”
“I think making sense is optional. Sometimes I just be talking.”
“I think the meaning of life is eating good food in the company of people you love.”
“It’s because I’m pretty, that’s why I have problems.”
“It’s crazy how I’m just some person.”
"It seems you are in love with your computer.”
“It’s not rude to interrupt someone to point out a dog. It’s actually more polite because then they don’t miss out on the dog.”
“I will never elaborate because I have no idea what I just said.”
“Live, laugh, love? Nah. Languish, lament, lay down.”
“Michael Myers taught me a valuable life lesson. Don’t worry about how fast everyone around you is moving. If you’re determined, just move at your own pace and you’ll kill shit every time. Thanks, Mike.”
“Moving to the forest to eat leaves and lie in the dirt. Insurance companies can’t deny me this.”
“Okay, bored of being alone now. Ready to get married.”
“Okay, hear me out... What if—now bear with me—we held hands? Maybe even kiss a little? Hugs would be nice—”
“People keep posting ‘what’s REALLY in your food’ articles like I’m gonna stop eating whatever it’s about. Listen, death is coming. Death is coming. Pass me a hot dog.”
“People who fall asleep right away freak me out. Don’t you bitches have thoughts?”
“Really starting to understand old people these days. I love letters. Love packages. Terrified of my email inbox.”
“Someone take me out. Either in the assassination way or in the date way.”
“Sorry for being so sexy and having the best taste in literature. As if I asked for it.”
“Sorry I called you a fucking idiot. I was trying to flirt.”
“So what if I love you? Shut up.”
“The fact that I have to be in the ‘right headspace’ to do even the simplest tasks is absolutely humiliating.”
“The only difference between me and a medieval peasant is that I can make a Spotify playlist to express my feelings.”
“The only reason I haven’t gone insane is because I romanticize everything.”
“There should be a dating app where you talk to people who borrowed the same books from the library.”
“There’s something inherently holy about kitchens.”
“Tired of being a person. Would much rather be an unidentifiable and nebulous entity that lives in the woods and may or may not be an omen of misfortune to come.”
“Wanna haunt the neighborhood with me tonight?”
“Well, I used to be attracted to people, but now I’m exclusively attracted to abstract art and the concept of death.”
“What is the logic behind naps leaving you with a weird taste in your mouth? I wasn’t eating, I was sleeping. It’s the spiders, isn’t it?”
“Winnie the Pooh didn’t rock crop tops our whole childhood to watch us become unconfident about our bodies.”
“Yes, I’m dramatic! What did you expect? I read classic literature for fun.”
“You’d look prettier under six feet of dirt.”
“You don’t always need to talk. Like, it’s good to shut the fuck up sometimes. I love not talking.”
“You gotta walk into rooms like God sent you.”
“You’re beautiful, but you’re empty. No one could die for you.”
“You wanna know what’s annoying me right now? It’s me. I am annoying the goddamn shit out of myself.”
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I am obsessed with ‘The Highland Fox and The English Rose’ please I have questions:
What inspired you to write this?
Do you know how talented and incredible you are?
Have you seen outlander by chance?
(Spoiler question): In meters, how big is Laid! Lucien? Or are we to find out with Miss Elain?
If you would like….could you share a little snippet of any part of the series? (You can every share deleted scenes—I am in love)
What does your research process look like?
Feel free to answer this ask after the series has ended! Hope you’re doing well! Please forgive my enthusiasm.
First of all, do you know how insanely sweet and amazing you are??
This is such a lovely comment that absolutely made my day!! I love your enthusiasm! I apologize for the delay but I’ve been steadily working on this ask, because I want to give it the attention it deserves.
(More under the cut, including a very brief snippet from the next chapter, because idk how to write succinctly)
Honestly, my only inspiration for this fic was general vibes😂 I’ve been reading a lot of historical romances lately, and in my American mind, Scotland is such a romanticized area of the world that is still recognizable to readers that I thought it would be fun to explore. And selfishly, I thought that Lucien would look hot in a kilt and wanted to write about that.
I’ve seen a few episodes of Outlander, but I’m more familiar with the books (at least the first two or three). I didn’t realize until very recently that maybe SJM based Lucien somewhat off of Outlander’s main man, Jamie Fraser, but I feel very smug for picking up what SJM was throwing down.
Hmm, how big is Lucien (what parts do you mean😏😏??) I imagine him tall but not excessively so—maybe 1.87 or 1.88 meters (around 6’ to 6’1 for the Americans). I headcanon Elain more on the shorter side, so Lucien doesn’t need to be huge to get that size difference we all know and love (unless you meant his dick, in that case Elain will definitely learn sooner rather than later)
My research is never ending. I start with large ideas and concepts (Scotland in the 17-18th centuries, looking over clan maps, etc.) then narrow it down as topics come up (in canon Lucien has a metal eye, but those have never really existed in our world, so when were glass eyes invented and accessible to the public? What did people in the Highlands eat and wear? Were pencils around during this time period, or was everyone writing with ink and quills?) and so on. I don’t have access anymore to Jstor for academic articles so I’m mainly confined to articles and blogs online. For those, I try to look to see if the author lists their sources for the article—if they do, I generally consider it a good enough source. It’s even better if I’m able to find a good primary source, like paintings and pamphlets, to describe something.
All that being said, if something I want to write isn’t quite historically accurate but the vibes are sexy, I’m probably gonna go with whats fun and sexy. I’m doing this for myself and for free and I’m not being graded—who cares if the colors in someone’s kilt isn’t accurate because there’s no native plants that color the people would have used as dye?
Thank you again for your support and enthusiasm and all your lovely comments on my fic! Truly, seeing people get excited over this makes me so happy and is keeping me so motivated!
Finally, a little snippet from the next chapter…
Lucien woke, as he had every morning since the day after his wedding, hard as his dirk.
Sighing, he threw his quilt off his heated body and leaned up on his elbows to stare at his cock, a slight frown as on lips. He had hoped his body would have gotten the hint by now that it wasn't going to have any company other than his hand for a while. Apparently, his little tryst with Elain last night had convinced it otherwise.
He looked over to his window. The window was slightly ajar, and the thin, gauzy curtains framing the glass fluttered softly as the gentle breeze brought the earthy scent of the loch into Lucien’s room. The sun was out with hardly a cloud spoiling the bright blue sky overhead. It was going to be a beautiful day, and he really needed to get out of bed and begin his long list of tasks.
That could wait a few minutes, though.
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telling tanjirou you self harm(ed)
Author’s Note: proceed w/ caution. Read CW (content warnings).
telling tanjirou you self harm(ed)
Kamado Tanjirou x Reader
Word Count: ~600
CW: self harm references, traumatic references
Emergency Request Fulfilled: ⚠️TW FOR SH⚠️
I started hurting myself a few years ago and now I didn‘t do it since Easter Holidays and the scars are still there and I‘m actually very close to relapsing so I thought you could eventually do a Tanjiro x Reader headcanon on how he‘d react to his gf doing that to herself and what he‘d do now that he knows
~faqs~
Ngl, first thing that comes to mind is: he’d be a lil clueless as to what to do/how to react
My pet peeve (which, I realize SH is a personal experience and don’t mean to assume/project onto anyone else’s experiences) when it comes to SH is ppl overreacting (yes I’m hurting; no don’t treat me ~too differently), but ofc, underreacting certainly doesn’t feel particularly supportive or loving either
And I think Tanjirou would be intuitively aware of this (the tentative balance between showing concern vs becoming overwhelming), and thus panic inwardly: Do I hug them? Should I ask questions? How can I help? Is it even my place to help?
All the while you’re staring at your palms (for the sake of imagery/setting: how about your bedroom? there’s something intimate and genuine about sitting crossed legged—facing each other—toward the edge of your bed, Tanjirou grappling w/ his words as you avoid eye contact), unsure whether you’d rather he say something or nothing
“Thank you for telling me,” he finally murmurs, eyes soft and glistening, voice strained yet steady — disappointed but adoring
“I just thought you’d want to know,” you mumble quietly, stare sharpening, attempting to drill holes through your trembling fingers, hyper aware of his searching, caring gaze
“I want to know everything about you,” he admits, fondness creeping onto the tip of his tongue
And you promised yourself you wouldn’t cry, but the trust and fragility in the hesitant way his fingertips dig into his thighs has your eyes glistening too
“You can touch me, you know?” you whisper, space between you wavering, his fingertips pausing, calloused thumb reaching for the damp splotches on your palms, smearing your fear with a practiced reassurance
Are we okay? Do you hate me? Can you love me as I am? tangled roots grown over days, months, years; of loathing, of proving yourself To whom?, of a sticky, familiar dread
“You don’t want to touch me?” you hadn’t intended to verbalize the worst case scenario etched in your skin, but confession brought as much relief as it brought a condescending urgency to lose yourself to the infinite noise of What if Tanjirou’s lying?
He frowns at that, harsh, “No!” puncturing your cushion of deprecation, “I want to touch you!” blushing despite himself, “I want to touch all of you,” scooting over until his knee bumps against yours, “I cherish you.”
Because even though he’s still figuring out how to perfectly communicate the scribbles—the insatiable desire, need to make you believe—clinging to the back of his throat, he wants you to know
Wants you to know how deeply, indisputably, he believes in you
He knows believing isn’t enough: knows pretty words and prettier gestures can’t replace uprooting, well, the root of the problem — knows he isn’t qualified to help you
But he can support you, encourage and listen to you, dispel the creases in your loneliness
TL;DR? I hate romanticizing SH, but I also strongly hc that Tanjirou would have comforting ~instincts
100% the type to overthink his immediate reaction, but you can just feel that he means well
Lets you take the lead, all the while offering his hand, his head, his heart
Physical proximity? Researching therapists/educating himself to better understand SH? Floating further than you could possibly return safely from; needing someone to remind you of what’s real?
He’s got you
#tanjirou kamado#tanjiro kamado#kamado tanjirou#kamado tanjiro#tanjirou x reader#tanjiro x reader#kamado x reader#headcanons#modern au#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#emergency request
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https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/725114014141661184/the-gcf-was-not-for-jimins-birthday-dont-know?source=share
Bighit employees helping them when they arrived was a result of Bang PD and the members worrying about them travelling alone for the first time. The help only extended so far though, because it was still a personal trip, nothing company related. I don't know what were you trying to prove with that.
The "romantic" screenshots you replied with also prove... what? For me it shows that much JK enjoys Jimin's company to the point he finds those mundane, simple moments very meaningful to him. Like how he also mentioned that them walking in the street under the light from the post lamp was pretty and he remembers it because Jimin said his feet hurt lol. It's very domestic in my opinion. He has a habit of doing that when it comes to Jimin—remembering ‘boring’ details I mean. Another semi-recent example is when he posted the mirror selfie with Taehyung on Instagram from the Atomix restaurant the members went to, and Hobi asked him when did they take this picture, JK replied with “When Jimin hyung was like ‘sorry?’ Haha I think that was the day we took the picture” It's endearing to me how he mentally checks days based on what Jimin did/said then. Those little moments of Jimin doing the most mundane things mean a lot to JK that he just can't help but mention them as if they're such a big revelation or use them to pinpoint specific time frames.
About him paying for everything in Tokyo, the way I understood how they spoke about JK suddenly wanting to go shopping but later complained about how he had no money, and how Jimin laughed at him, is that he spent a lot of money on the stuff they bought. There are pictures that prove he had enough money to buy clothes and even jewelry but if you haven't seen those you might understand his comment about having no money as him not buying anything and that's... fair I guess. But he did have money and they did go shopping and did buy a lot of stuff. So I understood his complaint about having no money (and Jimin laughing at it) as him spending all of his money on whatever they bought.
And about the birthday gifts, if you would rather conclude that he's just a bad gifter despite him breaking that habit only to buy Jimin a gift, then I can't help you further, sorry.
Hi again!
Well, I don’t actually need or want any help further anon. You are the one coming to my blog (an obvious Taekook blog) talking about how Jk so clearly missed Jimin he went on social media because of it… rather than actually going to spend time with him. Ofcourse I’m not going to agree with you, I don’t see what you see.
I’m totally convinced of Jimin and Jk having a strong bond, but it’s a platonic one. I think Jk doesn’t care much about birthdays in general, which I’m sure will be an unpopular take, but he did a birthday live in his pajamas, he never buys any gifts, they’re always on the road.. it’s just how I see things yeah. You act as if thinking someone is a bad present gifter is an insult, it’s not.. it’s a realistic view which is supported by evidence.
Jk says he didn’t have money on him. It’s your interpretation of that moment, not mine. I think Jimin’s reaction at him saying that shows that he found that hilarious. Maybe Jimin lent him the money for the stuff they bought, that’s what friends do. Jk’s comment about Jimin staying up till 5 on his phone was a soft complaint, because they had plans and Jimin didn’t wake up in time for them.
You are romanticizing moments anon and you call them domestic. But having a good memory has nothing to do with being domestic. I think you’ll find Jk remembers moments from other members just as well if you take time to look beyond Jkk narratives. Will you find those instances endearing too?
You have a shippers view of things anon, and it shows in your use of wording and in the ‘evidence’ you bring.
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𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞 : 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒆𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒒𝒖𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔
‘ i’ll find you again , wherever we end up next . ’
‘ the enormity of my desire disgusts me . ’
‘ please , one more kiss in the kitchen before we turn the lights off . ’
‘ i’ve been lost but i’m here now . you’re the only person who has ever been able to find me . ’
‘ almost dead yesterday , maybe dead tomorrow , but alive , gloriously alive , today . ’
‘ you are not broken . ’
‘ you can love and be loved , despite what may feel like the eternally brutal nature of the world . ’
‘ i did violence to my own heart . ’
‘ will i be forgiven for the sins i did not commit , but created ? ’
‘ i would never kiss anyone who doesn’t burn me like the sun . ’
‘ i would rather break the world than lose you . ’
‘ i think you and i have known each other in a few lifetimes . ’
‘ i didn’t know . i had no idea how greedy my heart really was . ’
‘ is that why the idea of losing you torments me so much ? ’
‘ how long have i been without you ? ’
‘ am i foolish for wanting this ? it will end in flames . it always does . ’
‘ sorry about the blood in your mouth . i wish it was mine . ’
‘ if i love you , is that a fact or a weapon ? ’
‘ tell me how all this , and love too , will ruin us . ’
‘ and you realize the one person in the world who loves you isn’t the one you thought it would be . ’
‘ it cannot be a mistake to have cared . it cannot be an error to have tried . it cannot be incorrect to have loved . ’
‘ finally , i plead guilty of adoring you . ’
‘ a child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort . ’
‘ without realizing , i find it in myself that i cannot stop thinking about you . ’
‘ tomorrow , when i wake up , i promise , i will be better . ’
‘ someone has to leave first . this is a very old story . there is no other version of this story . ’
‘ when i imagine myself , i am always leaving . i couldn’t draw my own face if god asked . ’
‘ do we simply stare at what’s horrible and forgive it ? ’
‘ i wanted to let go of the pain even though it was the last thing that felt alive from you . ’
‘ have i endured loneliness with grace ? ’
‘ i’ll be your�� slaughterhouse , your killing floor , your morgue and final resting , walking around with this bullet inside me ‘cause i couldn’t make you love me and i am tired of pulling your teeth . ’
‘ and then my soul saw you and kind of went , ‘ oh , there you are . i’ve been looking for you . ’ ’
‘ sometimes it feels like someone else is wearing my body . ’
‘ i spent my life arguing how i mattered until it didn’t matter . ’
‘ who knew my haven would be my coffin ? ’
‘ dead is the safest i’ve ever been . ’
‘ i’ve never been so alive . ’
‘ you know what i was gonna tell you before , but didn’t have the nerve ? you got your name written all over me . i got my name written on you , too . ’
‘ you already are something . you always were . and you still have time to be . ’
‘ you know me by heart . it infuriates me that you know me by heart . ’
‘ why am i waiting for you ? hungering and thirsting for you in every cranny of my soul and even in my ribs ? ’
‘ you came with a handful of pain and a smile which broke the ground under my feet as the earthquake does when two people meet . ’
‘ the only good thing is that i’m getting used to suffering . ’
‘ the return to time was not my choice . ’
‘ we are built to live inside each other . this means we are built to ruin . ’
‘ time does not bring relief ; you all have lied . ’
‘ time does not know how to keep our hopes safe . ’
‘ you needed me so much that you had to end me . ’
‘ there are days where i am morbidly in love with you , and this is one of those days . ’
‘ i know no end to desiring you . ’
‘ i fear that i am both too much yet not enough . ’
‘ yes , yes , yes , i do like you . i am afraid to say the stronger word . ’
‘ a heart’s a heavy burden . ’
‘ life , as i see it , is all about farewells rather than reunions . ’
‘ heaven is real and you only had two minutes to prove it to me . ’
‘ it was already love . ’
‘ everyone desires love but also finds it impossible to believe that they deserve it . ’
‘ i’ll love you until i forget how to . ’
‘ i’ll love you until i forget how to and then i’ll fall like my knees aren’t already bruised from doing it and i’ll remember why you’re worth the ache . ’
‘ of course i’ll hurt you . of course you’ll hurt me . of course we’ll hurt each other . but this is the very condition of existence . ’
‘ nothing makes me sadder and nothing makes me happier than you . ’
‘ i love you and i do not want to love you , it is too much and too difficult . ’
‘ grief is just love with no place to go . ’
‘ i felt my life with both my hands to see if it was there . ’
‘ you do this , you do . you take the things you love and you tear them apart . ’
‘ i hope it’s love . i’m trying really hard to make it love . ’
‘ if you touch me again i might burn up in the cold air . ’
‘ i asked you not to leave several times . ’
‘ i’ve only adored you lifetimes ago and here we are . it’s nice to see you again . ’
‘ all time ever does is pass and all i ever do is remember . ’
‘ i feel as though we were never strangers , you and i , not even for a moment . ’
‘ i’d choose you ; in a hundred different lifetimes , in a hundred worlds , in any version of reality , i’d find you and i’d choose you . ’
‘ nothing about this is soft but we pretend . ’
‘ maybe you and i are just a dream . ’
‘ i know you loved me too , you knew me , and it gladdens my heart . ’
‘ i promise i shall never give up and that i’ll die yelling and laughing . ’
‘ i don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision . ’
‘ the world was made so that we could find each other in it . ’
‘ you don’t meet the people you love , you recognize them . ’
‘ i think you and i have known each other a few lifetimes . ’
‘ this body knows fear like a front porch knows welcome -- it is always coming home . ’
‘ i miss you more than i remember you . ’
‘ if i could have done it all again , i would have loved you better . but i could not have loved you more . ’
‘ we could have been happy . i know that , and it is perhaps the hardest thing to know . ’
‘ you want a better story . who wouldn’t ? ’
#ask meme#sentence starters#inbox meme#indie rp#rp ask meme#rp sentence meme#askbox meme#sentence starter meme#rp sentence starters#inbox memes#indie starters#rp inbox meme#starters#starter#meme#rp meme#ask#rp ask
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it's messy inside, let me take your coat
Summary: “I can make you a drink,” you offer, leaning against the doorframe to your bedroom with your arms crossed over your chest, staring at him, “or I can come over there and you can kiss me drunk instead, ‘cause I’m already halfway there.”
Characters: Bucky Barnes/Plus-sized (f)Reader
Warnings: 18+ (mentions of smut, female nudity), strong language, alcohol consumption, copious amounts of fluff, soft and nervous Bucky Barnes, original female character friends, one-night stand, body insecurity, anxiety
Word Count: 8723
A/N: This story was written for @eurynome827 and her 2k follower challenge with the prompt "Mimosas and Bloody Marys at brunch." Thank you for hosting and congrats again on your milestone!
main masterlist | AO3
“Cheers!”
The flutes clink together, orange juice sloshing and spilling and dripping down the glasses and onto the table as your giggles fade into the background noise of the café’s patio. You tip your head back as you drink, mimosas bubbly in your throat like your own happiness, threatening to pour out of you and dribble onto your shirt, already tipsy.
“God,” Carissa says, throwing herself back into the metal chair, “I cannot wait to have his babies.”
Beside her, Kora claps. “I can’t wait to be an aunt! I’m going to spoil them all so rotten you’re going to want to throttle me by the end of it.”
“Spoil them all you want, I’m having eight of ‘em.”
At that, you go ahead and polish off your drink, carbonation stinging your throat, and while you set the empty glass down your hand goes up in the air, signaling the waiter for another.
Sara points at you. “I’m with her.” She makes a face at Carissa. “If you have eight kids I will make like your dad and bounce.”
Kora slaps her on the knee but the four of you descend into laughter anyway, and it’s easy and light and beautiful, like always. Washington D.C. can be pretty in this way—iron-wrought fencing and fancy metal tables and red patio tiling. Good food, better mimosas, best friends. There’s a breeze in the air that’s calling for autumn, scattering cloth napkins sitting in laps and spreading the scent of fresh baked bread.
The bags at your feet carrying your new shoes for the winter wedding that’s approaching rustle. That feeling isn’t just D.C. It’s excitement and love and adoration, too.
Carissa, bride to be, catches you in her gaze. “When are you going to finally settle down, huh?” She gestures across the table at you with her half-filled mimosa. Everyone else looks at you too, waiting for your response.
You shrug. “You’re having plenty of babies, I don’t need any.”
“I don’t mean babies,” she says. “I mean a human, a connection, something that isn’t an empty apartment.”
“You need—no, you deserve—someone to take care of you!” Kora adds. “You’re always taking care of everyone. Don’t you want someone to, y’know, take care of you?”
“I have plenty of vibrators in my empty apartment.”
Sara snorts, covering her mouth. The waiter delivers another round, thank god.
“What do you want me to say?” you ask, sighing. “You’re just bothering me ‘cause it’s wedding season and you want to set me up with your weird—”
“He’s not weird,” Carissa interrupts. “He’s tall and he’s mysterious which is exactly your type.”
“She’ll find someone when the time is right,” Sara says. “Just ‘cause we’re happy with our boyfriends doesn’t mean she needs one to be happy.”
“Thank you, Sara, my one-true-best-friend-in-the-whole-wide-world.” You force your glass against hers in a loud clank, turning the heads of all the patrons on the café’s patio before taking a gulp. Your face is already getting a little hot, the alcohol hitting you. This is why you aren’t allowed to pregame before you go to brunch anymore.
“We’re not trying to force you,” Kora starts, but her mouth is pulled into a concerned frown. “We really do just want you to be as happy as we are, that’s all.”
You smile at her. “I know.”
And you do know. You understand. It’s been years now since you’ve had anything real—anything worthwhile, to be specific. At some point, the relationships slowed down. Boyfriends became friends with benefits when you were working on your masters. Friends with benefits became ignored booty calls at two in the morning when you started your dissertation, on the road to get your doctorate. Now, you’re lucky to go home with someone from the bar, and they never, ever, come home with you.
It’s okay. You aren’t lonely. The right person just hasn’t landed in your lap, and maybe that’s kind of because it’s not open, but it’s just ‘cause you’re busy. You’re busy. Passionate. Need to change the world.
Love can wait.
The next mimosa is finished and you’re feeling a little fuzzy.
“I’m happy for you,” you tell Carissa. “I’m happy for all of you, and I’m happy with my life, and I’m happy that we’re all together and we’re celebrating and I’m happy that you all care about me enough to worry but I’m perfectly fine with how things are.”
Carissa smiles, but it’s got too much teeth. “I could set you up with Kie—”
“No, no setting me up with Kieran or Harry or Josh or anyone. But especially not Kieran.”
You’d already fucked him once and it wasn’t worth the experience.
“Fine! Fine.” Carissa busies herself with her drink. “No setting you up with Kieran.”
“Good. Now let’s talk about the reception!” You pull out your phone and open the planning spreadsheet, smiling. “So I called the venue for you about the tables…”
This is easier. Planning Carissa’s wedding, helping support her, being excited for her—that’s easier than talking about your love life. If anything, this is your love life. Taking care of the people you love, your best friends, having fun and being together and romanticizing the time you spend with them. It’s not just mimosas over brunch and a green spreadsheet for wedding planning. With them, it’s the wind in your hair and the sun making your eyes sparkle and the alcohol making all your insides feel effervescent.
It’s love. It’s perfection. It’s your own brand of happiness.
And sure, maybe it’s a little defensive, but this is easier than loving someone and trying to make them love you. It’s easier.
“Whose dress are we still waiting on?” Carissa asks a little later, mouth full of avocado and bacon and looking very un-bridely.
“Mine,” Kora says, a little guiltily. “It’s at the tailor getting taken in—again.”
“I have mine,” you pipe up, wiping your mouth of jam. “And god, do I look like a full course Michelin star meal in that piece. Like, we’re talking ass for days, legs for days, tits for—”
“Excuse me, ma’am, excuse me.” A man, towering over the café table makes himself known, dressed in dark clothes and wearing a look on his visage that you can’t name.
“—days,” you finish, swallowing hard.
“Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt,” he says with a smile, “but I’m raising money for uh, breast cancer awareness, and I was hoping you would donate and sign up for uh, a marathon we’re doing.”
You blink. “Sorry,” you tell him, “but we don’t carry cash on us.” With a small smile, you nod at him, your eyes passing over your friends and looking around the café to see if any of the other patrons have noticed what’s going on. None of them look bothered.
“Not even for breast cancer awareness? C’mon, girl.”
“We don’t carry cash,” Sara repeats with a deadpan, but her eyes don’t meet his.
He doesn’t look at her either, content to stare at you, and your skin crawls.
“What about signing up for the marathon?”
“Fine,” you snap. Anything to get him to leave you all alone. “How do I sign up?”
“You give me your phone number and I’ll text you the details.” His grin is a little wider now, edging a little closer to where you sit at the table. You’re regretting that third mimosa. You aren’t on your game. The panic running through you is covered in a champagne haze.
You scoff. “No way.” Immediately you grab your purse, digging through it, and you slam a handful of loose change onto the table in front of him. “Here—a donation. Now please leave.”
His face twists into a scowl, but he scoops the money off the table and pockets it.
“You don’t have to be such a bitch,” he suddenly says, and anger courses through you until you shoot up from your seat, chair skidding behind you. He’s tall—much taller than your short stature. But, fuck it, the alcohol’s dimming the fear and fueling the need for you to protect your friends.
When you glance over, Carissa is already gathering the bags, eyes wide. Kora has her arms wrapped around her middle, trying to make herself smaller, ready to run. Sara’s phone is in her hand, 9-1-1 already dialed.
And still, no one in the café is doing a goddamn thing.
“Excuse me?” You glare up at the man.
“I just wanted your number, you fat bitch.” He sneers. “No wonder you’ve got an attitude, you obviously don’t get laid.”
Really, you can sit there and say it isn’t the fat comment. It’s not the insult. You’re used to that, with your overly-generous curves and your soft jawline and the fact that you’re wearing a skirt showing off the cellulite running through your thighs like a creek and a crop top that lets everyone peek at your stretch marks. You’re used to it.
And, really, you could handle this better. You certainly have before ‘cause this isn’t the first time you’ve been hustled or the first time some creep has hit on you. Old men have been slapping your ass in public since you were sixteen. You’re hot, you get it. If you saw yourself on the street you’d want a piece of your own goddamn ass, too. It comes with the territory, but it’s gross. And it’s sad but you’re used to it. So it’s not him calling you a fat bitch.
It’s the comment about getting laid. It’s sore as fuck.
You grab your would-be fourth mimosa and drench him in it, the glass slipping from your fingers and shattering upon the patio’s tiled floor in an instant.
“Slut!” The man lunges for you and you jump away, bumping into the table and losing your footing. You fall to the ground as glass comes crashing down around you, spilling sweet-smelling alcohol all over you. Ouch. Your friends scream, but you can’t take your eyes off him.
And then a gleam of black and gold blurs past you and grabs the creep by his neck, throwing him down. Now, a tall, wide body dressed in a dark hoodie is blocking you, guarding you, sheltering you.
“Try it,” Mystery Savior says.
“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,” Carissa chants, calling your name.
Your hand is sticky when you wave her away. “Get out of here, I’m fine. Just go. I’ll meet you—meet you at Kora’s.”
“We’re not leaving you!” Sara shouts, but something, maybe adrenaline or fear or fucking champagne, is running through your blood vessels at high speed.
“Just go!” you scream back at her. “I’m not fucking kidding, go!”
Because if there is one redeemable thing about you, it’s the length you’ll go to keep the people you love safe. And Mystery Savior might have just choked a creep out for you, but he also choked a creep out for you, and that’s enough to get your heart pounding in your ears. You don’t know who the good guy is—if there even is a good guy here.
“Fuck,” the creep curses, but it comes out raspy as he grasps at his quickly bruising neck. “You’re a—” he wheezes, “—you’re a murderer!”
Mystery Savior holds up his hands, and that’s when you see it. The black and gold of a vibranium arm just peeking out of the sleeve of his hoodie.
This isn’t a murderer. Not a Mystery Savior either. This is James Bucky Barnes, the Avenger, holy shit. Definitely good guy. Probably. He’s reformed, the news talks about it.
“Caught me,” he says, voice monotone. “What are you gonna do about it?”
If you weren’t currently sprawled on the ground, covered in mimosa, and panicking wildly about whatever is unfolding right in front of you, the very buzzed part of your brain would really appreciate the smoothness of Bucky’s voice when he said that, the cool, calm, collected delivery.
You’ll file it in the back of your mind for when you go back to your empty apartment.
“That fat ass ain’t worth it,” the creep chokes out, scrambling to get up. As soon as he’s on his feet, poised to take off, Bucky moves faster than you could have imagined and grabs the guy by his shirt.
“I don’t think so, buddy.” You can’t see his face, but you think Bucky might be smiling.
A portly man, a little shorter than Bucky, pushes through the gathering crowd, eyes wide and panicked, face red, already sweating. When you glance at his golden nametag, it reads: Jason, Manager. Cool that the manager showed up this late. If Bucky hadn’t stepped in, you’d probably be in a pile of limbs on the ground by now. Also—is he going to comp your bill? ‘Cause at this point, you’re starting to think you deserve it.
Okay, not a good time to be distracted.
“Thank you for getting him, sir,” the manager says, a little breathless. “Winter Soldier, sir.”
“It’s Bucky,” he says, and then he shoves the creep toward the manager. “Not sure why you didn’t step in before he got violent.”
Exactly! Why did everyone just stand around and do nothing as some six-foot man hustled the four women sitting beside the street? You glance around again, seeing your friends have disappeared and now, both the wait staff and other café patrons, are crowded around your table. It’s a little unsettling how no one cared to even look at you until everything escalated.
As the manager grabs the creep and hauls him off toward the street to wait for the cops, Bucky Barnes relaxes his shoulders and turns toward you slowly, and it’s—well, for lack of a better word—it’s beautiful. He’s beautiful.
He looks nothing like the superhero in the pictures. Here, with the D.C. sun hitting him unabashedly, his slate eyes like glass marbles, the lines surrounding them wrinkled in concern, his tongue darting between his lips to wet the skin where his teeth bite down, a habitual sore, his short locks ruffled by the breeze or maybe the fight or maybe he just wakes up perfectly rumpled, here he looks like a man.
“You okay?” he asks, somehow nonchalant and still worried, and he holds out a calloused hand to you.
Or, well, maybe Bucky had been watching. And maybe that’s enough.
God, you don’t even know this man outside of his Avenger persona, the headlines you read on the news, the pictures you see on social media, but there’s just something about him that makes you want to trust him. Like he guarantees safety, and you know that no one, least of all an Avenger, can guarantee safety. Even if that’s their job.
Stop feeling safe around him.
But you take his hand anyway, his long, thick fingers folding over your own like he means to swallow them, and Bucky pulls you up as though you weigh nothing. In fact, he does it so easily that you crash straight into him with a yelp and his arms instantly slide around your waist to catch you as your knees go weak, buckling beneath you.
When you look up at him, your hands trying to find purchase in the material of his hoodie, he’s staring down at you with the hint of a smile.
“Thanks,” you say, quiet and a little stunned.
His lips crack a little wider. “No problem.”
For a few seconds longer than deemed socially appropriate, you stare at Bucky, captured by the changing color of his blue-gray eyes. And then, as if god is slapping you on the back of your head, you blink and remember that you are covered in alcohol and currently pressed against the chest of a superhero, and your eyes go wide as you quickly push away from him.
“Oh god, I’m so sorry,” you tell him. “I’m disgusting—you probably have orange juice all over you now, fuck.”
“Hey,” he says, his flesh hand wrapping around your upper arm to steady you, “it’s okay. Seriously though, are you alright?”
You open your mouth to say something and then shut it again when you realize nothing sounds like the right answer. Bucky waits patiently though, peering down at you, his grip a little more grounding than you wish it was.
“Yes?” you say, but it sounds like a question. “I mean, maybe? I’m—It’s not like I’m not used to this happening. I’ll be fine.”
Bucky frowns. “Used to it?”
You shrug. “Not all men are superheroes. Most don’t have good intentions. And I’m not even that pretty, can you imagine what other women deal with?”
It slips out before you realize it, the self-hatred you keep at bay.
“Not pretty?” Bucky’s face twists into something confused. “That guy assaulted you just to get your number. I’m not saying it’s right, but if you think you aren’t pretty, well that’s just wrong.”
Oh god, what are you supposed to say now? So stupid. If you had just kept your mouth shut, you wouldn’t have forced an Avenger—a really fucking hot Avenger—to give you an awkward compliment and now you have to scramble to figure out what to say. If you deny the compliment, you’ll look ungrateful. If you accept the compliment, that’s too egotistical. Too into yourself.
You’ve backed yourself into a corner here, and Bucky’s on the other side of the ring.
“Look,” he interrupts your inner monologuing, running a hand through his hair and glancing away, “if you don’t mind me saying it, you’re—well—you’re gorgeous. I hope you know that.”
Your mouth falls open and you stare at him, nervous energy radiating off him, and when his eyes shift back to yours he coughs.
“I mean, don’t take that the wrong way. I’m not—I’m not trying to hit on you after what just happened, I promise.” His eyes go wide, then, and he throws his hands out in front of him in a placating gesture. “That’s not to say I’m not! Not hitting on you. I mean, shit, I just think you’ve gotta be the most beautiful dame—woman, sorry—that I’ve seen in years.”
There’s something soft about it, something sweetly suffocating, like buttercream frosting in the back of your throat, about his nervousness. The gentle panic, the way his eyes go back and forth from the ground at your feet to your eyes like he’s checking to make sure he hasn’t said the wrong thing, but he just keeps putting his foot in his mouth like it’s a magnet to metal. It’s endearing. It’s real.
“Do you want to get a drink with me?” you blurt out, and Bucky blanches. “I know it’s only, like, noon but I need a drink. And I owe you. For saving me.”
He relaxes at this, another one of those small smiles easing its way onto his face, and his shoves his hands into his pockets like he wasn’t just panicking two seconds ago about calling you a dame, which if anyone else had done, you would have socked them in the mouth, but he’s like one-hundred-and-six or something and you kinda get it.
“The drinks you’re wearing ain’t enough, doll?”
A laugh breaks from your mouth and he lights up, grinning.
“Oh, that’s how it’s gonna be?” You can’t help the smile splitting your own lips. “Sure, make fun of the girl who just got hustled, easy prey.”
The way he looks at you is burning.
“I’m Bucky,” he says. “James Bucky Barnes.”
“I know,” you say with a laugh. When you give him your name, he almost looks like he wants to try it out, but he keeps it on his tongue like he’s tasting it instead.
“So, a drink?” he asks, a little cautiously.
“I’d like that.” Then, you look down and curse. “But I’m gross. I really need to go home and change.”
Bucky nods, but a look of disappointment crosses his face, there and then gone again, just enough to make your heart tighten into a painful brick weight atop your chest. Everything in your brain is saying no, don’t do it, don’t do it. But your heart hurts and it hurts for him, a man you’ve only met in news articles and awkward interviews until now, when he’s saved you from being slapped around by some creep or worse, and god, you have such a soft heart sometimes and it’s gotten you in trouble before but you can’t just ignore it.
“Do you like Bloody Marys?”
His eyes meet yours again and you’re drawn into the storm that swirls in his irises once again.
“Never had one,” he admits. “They don’t look much like a drink.”
“Well, if you’re interested, I have the stuff to make a really good one at home. And then I could change and clean up a little and still y’know, thank you for saving my life? I mean it’s not much, but—”
“Yes,” he says, his voice as sure and steady as it was earlier when he was in hero mode. “That sounds great.”
Oh, you’re fucked. You’re so fucked.
The walk back to your apartment isn’t uncomfortable, but it’s not easy. Bucky walks beside you like a forcefield, using his body to guide you through the throng of people walking along the streets without even touching you. He reminds you of a sheepdog. The thought almost makes you laugh more than a few times during your stroll.
He walks with his hands in his pockets most of the way, especially his metal one. And he isn’t much of a talker, not that you mind as long as he keeps answering the questions you’re asking him, like what kind of food he likes and what he thinks about sphynx cats and if he likes memes—of which his answers consist of anything, what the hell is that and why is it naked, and a resounding yes.
Bucky asks some of his own questions, though they are few and far between and a lot more cohesive and meaningful than your own. He asks about how long you’ve lived in Washington D.C., about what you do for a living, and about your friends.
“Why did they leave you there?” He’s staring at you when he asks, brows sharp and furrowed.
“Because I told them to,” you answer. “I didn’t want them to get hurt or anything. And I’m kind of the person that if I’m yelling, you better listen ‘cause I’m usually yelling for a good reason.”
He nods like he understands, but his lips are pressed flat. “They shouldn’t have left you.”
You shrug. “I wanted them to. I would’ve been more pissed if they hadn’t run off and gotten tangled up in the middle of everything.”
“You’re a good person,” he says, still looking at you. His face is softer, that hint of a curve in his mouth the only sign that anything’s changed.
You give him your own smile. “Maybe.”
It’s only once you get to the front door of your apartment that things shift and your stomach rolls, heavy and fluttering light all at once, a not-so-familiar-anymore anxiety chilling your skin. The keys in your hand jingle and you aren’t sure if it's because your fingers are shaking or not.
“It’s not much,” you say, beckoning him inside, “but y’know, it’s enough for me.”
Bucky steps through the door with a reverence, a caution, a carefulness that strikes you right in the heart. He looks out of place for a minute, like he’s never entered an apartment before. And then, as you kick off your shoes, losing the extra inch of height, smiling and gesturing for him to do the same, there’s something in him that snaps and bends and his shoulders fall, relaxed.
He toes off his boots, leaving them by the door, and suddenly there’s a different air in the apartment. Almost intimate. Comfortable.
Stop it. You don’t even know him.
“Make yourself at home. Can I get you anything? A glass of water or something?”
Bucky shakes his head as he follows behind you, slowly, his eyes roaming over your space. It’s really not much, you know that. A little more than a box with a bathroom and a bedroom attached, what with the living room and the kitchen being “open-concept,” a word you’re pretty sure was invented to sell tiny apartments for more money. You don’t even have a table to sit at—just a couch to plunk down on while you’re eating.
“I’m alright, doll,” he says, running a hand over the soft cushions of said couch. “You go change, I’m fine.”
As soon as you disappear into your bedroom, the door locked behind you, you lean against the wood and let out a sigh. This is awkward. What the fuck were you thinking? Asking an Avenger—Bucky Barnes—back to your apartment for a drink? A bloody mary? Who are you trying to kid?
It’s been years, literal years since you’ve invited anyone back to your apartment. In fact, you don’t think anyone besides your friends has even stepped foot inside. Maybe they haven’t even made it to the door.
Why would you invite him here?
In frustration, you strip your dirty shirt off and throw it onto the floor, shimmy-ing out of your skirt and kicking it toward the hamper just as well. You sort through your drawers, looking for something comfortable to throw on. Or maybe you should wear something nice? Something that looks similar to what you wore to brunch. But Bucky’s dressed in jeans and a hoodie. But he also looks like a modern god in just that.
Fuck. You are fucked. Why did you ask him back to your place for a drink? What did you think would happen?
You throw an old band t-shirt over your head and pull a black pair of loose shorts up over your hips, cursing when you realize they don’t even hit mid-thigh. Does that seem suggestive? Is Bucky going to think you want to fuck him if you walk out in these?
Do you want to fuck Bucky?
No. No. This is not what this is about. You invited him over because you owed him a drink and because you needed to change and because he seemed so damn sad when you said you couldn’t go out for a drink. So you asked him to come home with you. Oh, god, that’s so complicated. What have you gotten yourself into?
Stop. Just stop thinking.
But—you have to admit it to yourself—you want it. You want him.
Your friends’ earlier words repeat in your head. A human, a connection, something that isn’t an empty apartment. They aren’t wrong for thinking that it’s something you want. For most of your life, you’ve lived thinking that you shouldn’t need someone. But isn’t it okay to want someone? You’re tired of being alone. Bucky Barnes is the first man that’s been in your empty apartment since you moved in, and maybe it’s a bold move, but you know what?
You throw yourself out of your bedroom, probably looking a little too frazzled, and you quickly comb your fingers through your hair as nonchalantly as possible to fix the flyaways. Bucky’s sitting on your couch, looking lonely, his hands rigid on his spread knees.
He looks like he fits there, on your sofa, in your empty apartment.
“Look,” you say in a breath, catching his attention. When he looks at you, his eyes sweep over your body like he’s never seen a woman before; shy, timid, a little nervous, but there’s something else there. It’s the same thing that’s heating your insides right now.
“I can make you a drink,” you offer, leaning against the doorframe to your bedroom with your arms crossed over your chest, staring at him, “or I can come over there and you can kiss me drunk instead, ‘cause I’m already halfway there.”
Bucky’s eyes widen for a fraction of a second, and then a cocky grin is curling his lips up, his face brightening the entire apartment. You don’t know if your body is warm because you’re embarrassed at your own daring or because Bucky Barnes is so beautiful it’s criminal, but you know that there’s static and stretch in your limbs and desire pooling in your belly. Liquor and lust are chasing away whatever fears you had before.
“Really?” he asks, but there’s a teasing lilt to his voice that reminds you of what a fucking flirt he is, or that he can be, and you think butterflies might be taking up residence in your tummy.
“Really,” you mimic, wearing your own charmed smile. Bucky lets his head fall to the side as he looks over you, then crooks one metal finger at you, beckoning you to join him on the couch. With as much confidence as you can muster, you stride toward him, putting a little swing in your steps. Maybe you look crazy doing it, but it’s enough that his eyes flicker down to watch your hips, and it sends a thrill through you.
“This isn’t like me,” you tell him as you sink down beside him, as close as possible while still giving him space to bolt if he needs to. “I don’t invite strangers over to my house like this.”
He smiles and it’s warm and big and easy. “I’m glad you did,” he says.
God, his eyes are pretty. “Me too.”
With Bucky’s thigh pressed against yours, his hand resting dangerously close to one of your bare knees, knuckles brushing your skin every time he shifts, you’re melting into his touch and you don’t care. It’s intoxicating—not the alcohol, which you swear should be wearing off by now, but him.
“I don’t do this often,” you say again, like you need to defend your bold behavior.
“Does that mean I’m special?”
“I think so,” you murmur, only loud enough for him to hear being this close.
Kinder than you thought possible, somehow simultaneously suave but still a little nervous, and yet authentic to a fault, Bucky Barnes is a thousand and one contradictions. Nothing like you ever thought he’d be. And maybe that’s what gives you the courage, the thought that someone so hardened could be so soft. That someone who looks like him, chiseled and striking and like a charcoal sketching on stark paper, could turn red at your innuendos and your charmed quips. That there’s a chance he could be attracted to you.
This—This is the connection you’ve been waiting for. The person who makes you feel like this. Tipsy when you shouldn’t be tipsy anymore.
“I know we barely know each other, but I really, really want you, Bucky.”
Your shoulder is pressed to his shoulder, your chest nearing his chest, your chin tipped up to stare at his eyes, his nose, his parted lips. Bucky stares down at you, his Adam’s apple dipping and bobbing as he swallows hard. Your lips curl, threatening to giggle. He’s so damn cute. How can someone like him, an Avenger, a super soldier, look so cute?
But the hand at your knee finally creeps up your skin, his hot palm glossing over your bare thigh, resting a little higher than a friendly touch would go. He presses indents—not too hard, but not too soft—into your plush, silken flesh.
“You do?” he asks, tongue darting out to wet his lip and you want to follow it back into his mouth with your own.
To answer, you push closer, your hand coming up to drape across his neck, a little off-balance as you sit up on your knees.
“Mhm,” you hum, and that’s all he needs to grasp your thigh roughly and drag you over him, seating you upon his lap as a squeak of surprise flies from your lips. His hands fall to your hips as if your body was made for him to hold and suddenly you’re looking down at him and he’s looking up at you instead, and god, he’s staring at you like you’re heaven and earth and everything he ever needed to be saved.
“I want you too,” he says, exhaling as if you’ve stolen all the air in his lungs.
“Then will you finally kiss me?” Your nose brushes his and his breath ghosts over your mouth.
Bucky’s lips surge up to meet yours, swallowing the last sounds of your words like it’s the first drink of water he’s had in years, cool and refreshing and tinged with smoke, something uniquely him.
As your hands thread through his short locks, desperate to hold onto him in any way, his fingers begin to curve over your ass. You rock into him, pressing against him harder, sucking at his plush lips as his tongue skims over your top lip until you grant him entry. Bucky kisses like he’s trying to taste every single part of you and it sends waves of pleasure through your belly and to your core, where you grind down until you feel his hardening length beneath you.
Immediately, you start to strip him of his hoodie, divesting him of that layer to feel the soft shirt beneath—but only barely because it’s hell trying to pull his hands away from where they’re touching you.
And he’s touching you everywhere. His fingers roam over every generous piece of your body. The silken planes of your thighs where he’s pushed your shorts up, the wide canyons of your hips, the bumpy hills of your waist where your stomach is too big and too soft and where he slips his mismatched hands under your shirt to trace the lines of your stretch marks. It isn’t long until he brushes by the band of your bra and then he’s tugging at the hem of the shirt, pulling away from your lips long enough to rid you of it.
You take the moment to rid him of his too, and then you’re both topless, still sitting atop his lap and panting from lack of air. No words are shared between you before Bucky is capturing your mouth again. It’s only passion, frenzied and hot and wanting.
His fingers fumble with the hooks of your bra blindly as your teeth sink into his bottom lip, nipping and giggling and tangling your tongue around his. As soon as you hear the snap, you lean back and Bucky pulls it off you, flinging the offending garment somewhere else in the apartment.
Now, with your naked chest completely bared to him, you wait for it to happen. For his eyes to dart away, for the apprehension to cross his features, for the disgust to set it. The real reason that it’s been so long since you’ve invited someone into your empty apartment—into your empty life.
You’re scared.
Like you’re expecting the blow, you close your eyes and brace yourself, but you don’t cover up. You’ve learned not to cover up. You refuse to make yourself smaller, or prettier, or more tolerable for people. It’s why you don’t get entangled with one-night stands anymore, why you don’t ask strangers to come home with you, why you don’t let your girlfriends set you up with anyone. Because you refuse to make yourself something you’re not just to fit in, and that’s what always, always ends up happening.
Bucky touches you and it makes you flinch, his vibranium fingers a little chilly against the soft, warm skin of your stomach. He touches you and it’s electric, but you don’t open your eyes.
You’re too afraid to look and see the disappointment in his gorgeous blues.
His hands skim over your rib cage, sliding around the sides of your waist, his thumbs grazing the undersides of your breasts. You shiver at the contact. He continues his trail upwards, but then he lays his palms on your shoulders and caresses over your neck, his fingers finally finding the edge of your soft jaw to cradle your face. A shaky breath leaves you.
“Look at me,” he whispers, closer than you thought.
And no matter how much you’ll berate yourself over it later, there is something so safe about Bucky Barnes that your lashes flutter and your eyes open, and he’s right there, right there in front of you, staring at you with those stormy sea eyes half-lidded and glazed over with lust, his pink lips parted in awe, and you gasp at the intensity that strikes right through the center of you.
“You’re…” he trails off, swallowing nervously again. “Doll, I don’t think I know a word in English that describes you.”
Bucky presses forward, his chest brushing against your hardened nipples, stealing your breath and then sealing your lips with a kiss that isn’t like before. This kiss isn’t needy or wanting or filled with teeth and tongue and desperation. This time, his mouth moves with yours as if he’s trying to spell out a thousand words in twenty different languages to tell you how he feels, his lips leading yours in a dance that isn’t worried about an audience or the music or if you step on his toes.
When he pulls away, you wonder if your mouth is as swollen as his.
“You’re perfect,” he says with a finality in his tone that almost makes you collapse into his arms.
Then, Bucky wastes no time and captures a nipple in between those swollen lips, causing you to let out an embarrassingly loud noise in surprise. His metal hand finds your other breast, thumb stroking over the bud until you’re arching further into him. As his tongue traces patterns around one nipple, his fingers tweak and twist and pull its sister, and your hands grasp his broad shoulders in an attempt to hold on.
Finally, he presses gentle kisses over your rosy buds, all worn out by his touches, and then circles your breasts with more kitten licks and grazes of his teeth. Bucky’s hands settle at your hips again, fingers grasping your skin like he can’t get enough of the feel of you. He’s trying to imprint your body on his palms.
“I need to have you, doll,” he says all breathy as if he isn’t the one absolutely drenched right now. “Please. Please,” he asks so softly that you wonder if this is the man who even came to your rescue today, all tall and brooding. When you grind down on his lap again, feeling his hard cock beneath his jeans as he lets out a groan and tightens his grip on your waist, you realize you’re not the only one feeling the tension.
Still, there’s something cheeky left in you and you reach out to swipe your finger across his nose, effectively booping it cutely. A grin splits your lips.
“You need me?” you ask teasingly. “What if I need you instead?”
It’s like it sets something ablaze in him or something, ‘cause as soon as you go in for another kiss, Bucky stands up from the couch, his hands cradling your ass as you shriek and wrap your legs around him in reflex.
“Oh my god—”
“Now you’ve done it,” he grunts, burying his face in your neck to pepper kisses all over the stretch of skin that encompasses your shoulder, your jawline, even up into your hairline by your ear.
“Oh my god, put me down Bucky, I’m—you’re gonna drop me, I’m too heavy!”
“Heavy?” He chuckles against your throat and the vibrations almost make you shudder in pleasure. God, what is this man doing to you? “Darlin’, I don’t think you know the meaning of heavy.”
Bucky flashes you a wide, almost predatory grin, and you wonder where that soft, nervous boy went.
“If I wanted to,” he says, his voice low and steady, “I could fuck you right here, in the middle of the room, for hours.” He must feel the shiver that goes through your entire body because he’s laughing again. “But I want to fuck you into your mattress if that’s okay. Can I do that?”
Your throat feels dry when you whisper, “Yes. Please.”
He punctuates your plea with a heated kiss to your lips, his tongue tasting the citrus and bubble from your mimosas, the alcohol long since worn off. It’s all him that you feel, all him that intoxicates you, and all him around you as he walks you into your bedroom, not even straining under your weight, and dumps you onto the middle of your sheets.
There, he cages you, hovering above you to kiss down your body, already intent on tearing your shorts off.
“Bucky,” you whine. In the afternoon light streaming through the single window in your room, his eyes are a startling color you wish you could name, all clear and confident and crystal and god, god, his fingers are already exploring the slit of your core so lightly it makes you flush and want to hide, your inner thighs sticky and coated in your own slick from how hot he’s made you with such simple touches.
“You want me?” he asks as if he doesn’t know.
“Yes,” you hiss in pleasure, body writhing beneath him. Bucky leans down to kiss the shell of your ear, his tongue blazing a hot trail that makes you moan and buck your hips up to meet his, but he won’t have any of that.
“Good,” he says, “‘cause I need to have you, and I don’t plan on letting you go ‘till I’ve gotten everything you’ve got to give, doll.”
That nervous Bucky, all awkward smiles and panicked glances and sweet lines, he’s gone. In his place is this Bucky, assured and charming and suave and smooth and making your eyes roll back into your head until a scream is threatening to burst from your lips unless he swallows it with his own kiss, which he does, over and over again.
“I’m gonna ravage you, darlin’.”
You aren’t sure which one you like better—but is it greedy to say both?
As the light of a new day spreads through your apartment, you awaken easily, softly, but painfully. Someone’s pulled the blankets up to your chin and tucked them around you, and the thought leaves an empty feeling inside of you. When you stretch, every part of you burns deliciously, a memory from the hours spent in bed, on the couch, on the fucking counter after you’d eaten and he still wasn’t satisfied, and then again in bed.
And now, looking over at the space beside you, he’s gone. His clothes are gone from the floor. There’s no sound echoing in the building. He even left you tucked in, for god’s sake.
Your apartment is just as it always has been—empty.
With a groan, you kick the covers off and plant your feet on the floor, willing yourself to get up. The ache in your muscles is nothing more than a pleasant memory, an unpleasant reminder of the marks he left on you, his absence.
Stop it. You shouldn’t have even gotten attached to him in the first place. You knew what this was, and he did too, and it’s no wonder he’s gone this morning.
Get over it.
You swipe an oversized shirt from your dresser and throw it over your head as you stride out toward the kitchen, content to go pantyless for the day after the abuse you put it through last night. Yawning, your eyes screwed shut in another big stretch to warm up your overused muscles, you hear him before you see him.
“Mornin’, doll.”
Like that, your eyes snap open and he’s there, standing in your tiny kitchen in nothing but last night’s boxers, looking fucking glorious in the spotlight of the warm sun that’s streaming through the room and highlighting the counters.
“Bucky?” you ask, but it’s a little loud and a little shrieking, something you don’t intend. But all he does is smile at you, metal fingers tapping the plastic countertop, so at ease he just looks like he belongs there.
“I thought I’d make you breakfast but you have nothing in your fridge,” he jokes, leaning back against the drawers and crossing his arms over his bare chest.
You shift, embarrassed, looking anywhere but at him. “Yeah, I need to go shopping.”
A long stretch of silence fills your apartment and you’re unsure of what to say in order to break it. Bucky’s clearly watching you, drinking in the sight of your love-marked body, bruises peeking out of the hem of your shirt that barely skims past the tops of your thighs, and you remember you’re wearing nothing underneath.
And he’s here, right here, and you really aren’t sure why. It seems the two of you have almost switched places. Where Bucky was nervous and shy at first, he’s now confident and comfortable and you’re left with heated cheeks and a tongue-tied in knots. Whatever boldness that came over you all yesterday has fled.
It’s left a deep pocket of insecurity inside of you.
“Why are you still here?” you ask, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, like you don’t care, but your voice shakes a little. He’s too far away to really tell, but you think a flash of hurt passes over Bucky’s brow.
“‘Cause you still owe me a drink,” he says as if it's obvious, a small smile still sitting so prettily on his mouth.
You blink, a little confused, but shuffle closer. “Bloody Mary?”
“Yeah,” he says with a deep breath, his grin growing bigger the closer that you come toward him. “Will you still make me one?”
You nod, toes finally crossing into the kitchen, and then you and Bucky are staring at each other. There are scratches left like the bones of a graveyard on his arms, and you’re almost sure if he turned around they’d cover his neck and back just as well. Seeing those reddened marks, similar to the bruises he’s left on you, makes you relax your shoulders just a little.
“Do you need help?” he asks, eyes sweeping over your barely covered form.
“No,” you say, heading to the kitchen which is little more than a countertop, a stove, and a fridge. “But you can keep me company.”
So this is what happens in the morning after. Bucky leans against the counter next to you, watching you with a burning intensity that nearly matches last night’s, and you pull all the ingredients out and line them up next to two glasses and try not to falter under his gaze. He looks at you like you’re this fascinating thing he needs to study and it bothers you, but only in the best of ways.
“Do you always stare this hard at your dates?” A smile plays at your lips as you crack open the tomato juice.
He doesn’t look away. “No,” he says, but he sounds unsure. “Is this a date, doll?” There’s something in his voice that you can’t figure out, faintly hopeful, fairly confused. Vaguely surprised, even.
You shrug. “Maybe.” Especially after all of yesterday, you would hope he thought so.
But Bucky shakes his head. “No.”
Ow.
That hurt more than you were expecting it to. Calling yourself his date had only been a joke meant to lighten the mood, ease him up a little, cure the tension swirling in the room. You guess you should have expected it, though. You owed him a drink—he didn’t owe you a date. It wasn’t supposed to be a date, anyway.
All you had done was sleep together, for fuck’s sake. This is why you hate morning afters. This is why you would have preferred it if he had been gone when you woke.
But was that even true? Because the relief you felt when you found him waiting for you in the kitchen was immense and hard to understand.
You open the bottle of vodka a little more forcefully than you intended.
“When we go out on a real date,” he continues, and your eyes meet, “I’ll be taking you out and treating you.” A slow grin crawls over his face that reminds you of his wicked mouth and what it can do and the sight makes your heart beat and beat and beat, faster and faster, like the wings of a hummingbird, quick quick quick.
“When?”
“When,” he affirms.
“That’s bold of you,” you say, popping ice cubes from a tray into the glasses.
“Maybe,” he says, “but I know what I want now.” Bucky shifts a little closer to you, his vibranium arm brushing by the bare skin of your soft one as you try and focus on not spilling the juice, but you can smell him and he smells like cedar and bergamot and smoke and clove. A smell that consumed you whole last night, surrounded you, drowned you in it.
He’s so close you can feel him inhale.
“I’ve lived a long time not knowing—not getting to decide—what I want,” he admits, his voice low and quiet and soothing your nervous heart. “So you can call it bold, but I call it right.”
The sincerity in his voice makes your hands still and you look up at him, eyes wide. In the soft white lights of your tiny kitchen, sharing the tight space with him so close, Bucky’s eyes are thunder and rain and lightning all at once, peace and chaos both, promising release and the sweet scent of earth and oil afterward.
“You don’t even know me,” you whisper.
Bucky leans closer. “But I want to.”
He’s so close, too close, close enough that he can surely hear the rhythm of your heart, unsteady and racing just for him. You could surge forward and kiss him, stake your claim once again on those pinkened lips that have held your attention from the first time you saw them, feel the stubble of his jaw rub against the soft peach fuzz of your own, let it remind you of how it felt against the apex of your thighs as he made you cry out over and over again, breaking on his tongue over and over again.
It makes you feel dizzier than any alcohol ever could.
But Bucky reaches over, past you, and takes one of the glasses from your hand, warm fingers brushing over your cooler ones. He holds it up, toward you, gesturing for a toast. With a swallow, hardly glancing away from his slate eyes to grab the other glass, you tap your Bloody Mary against his with a soft clink.
He watches you over the rim as he takes his first sip and you think he might be smirking. Then, he darts toward you and takes your lips in his own, tasting of spice and tomato juice and perfection, all Bucky, all for you.
When he pulls away, too quickly, he rests his forehead against your and looks down at you, staring into your hazy eyes.
“Will you let me stay?” he asks, like he doesn’t know what you’ll say. The soft, nervous Bucky is peeking out from behind his confident visage once again, his voice hopeful and frightened and the hand that’s gliding beneath your shirt and over your waist more timid than it was last night.
There’s a million things you can say. You can tell him to take you out to brunch instead. You can tell him you’re too busy. You can tell him that this was a one-night stand, it was only ever meant to be a one night stand, and that it was fun but you can’t afford to get attached to him and god, you know you’re going to get attached to him if he stays and that scares the ever-living fuck out of you. You can tell him that it’s messy here, inside your empty apartment, inside your empty heart. You can tell him that he could take up residence here. You can tell him so, so many things.
“Yes,” you say instead, and Bucky laughs against your mouth when he kisses you hard once more.
#Eury2kchallenge#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x plus size reader#plus sized reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes fluff#mcu#marvel#bucky barnes smut#smut#divine masterlist
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high | d.m
summary: you find an unhealthy way of coping after draco cheats on you
warnings: drug use (marijuana) angsty¿, cheating, illusions to sex
song: habits - tove lo
a/n: this fic isn’t meant to romanticize drug use in any way. i also know nothing abt weed so LOL and very rushed & not edited
masterlist | taglist
I eat my dinner in my bathtub
Then I go to sexclubs
Watching freaky people gettin' it on
It doesn't make me nervous
If anything I'm restless
Yeah, I've been around and I've seen it all
you had a few minutes left of your charms class which was your last class before the weekend. you wanted nothing more than to get out of here and cuddle up with your boyfriend— who was enjoying his free period right now.
draco was one of the best boyfriends you could ask for, the frequent dates, gifts, and attention— it was more than you could wish for.
“you’re excused. you essays are due at the beginning of next week” snapes monotone voice dragged on as you quickly packed up your things and made your way to the slytherin common room.
I get home, I got the munchies
Binge on all my Twinkies
Throw up in the tub
Then I go to sleep
And I drank up all my money
Days get kinda lonely
entering the slytherin common room your eyes immediately searched for a certain blond boy, yet he was nowhere to be found. you made your way to the boys dorms in hopes of finding him there but you’re quickly interrupted by two familiar voices.
“why hello y/n, marvellous weather we’re having today aren’t we?” theo asked looking towards the ceiling and smiling as if he were outside, blaise blocking your path as he did so.
“i’m not sure what weather you’re talking about since we’re inside but i am okay thank you” you responded with a chuckle, trying to make your way past blaise.
“wait y/n” he stopped you. “can i borrow the astronomy notes? i would ask luna but i can’t find her anywhere” blaise continued.
they both seemed awfully on edge and anxious, you figured it was just quidditch nerves getting to them since there was an upcoming game this week.
“i have yet to finish my astronomy notes, but i did see luna in the great hall if you want her notes. now if you’d excuse me i’d like to see draco” you said trying to push past the two boys who still wouldn’t let you through.
“forget malfoy! let’s do something instead, we’re so much more fun than him, right blaise?” theo said giving blaise a pointed look as he threw his arm around your shoulder.
“right you are nott, let’s go!” blaise continued also throwing his arm around your shoulder and leading you away from the boys dorm.
“what? no, i have plans with draco. now excuse me” you said pushing them both off and heading towards dracos door.
as you get closer to his door you can hear heavy breathing, pants and skin slapping on skin. you’re confused, you figured draco would be taking a nap or running over drills for quidditch practice. the closer you get, the louder the noises become.
“pans, you feel so good”
you recognize that voice anywhere.
You're gone and I gotta stay
High all the time
To keep you off my mind
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
High all the time
To keep you off my mind
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
quickly you turned your head towards blaise and theo who had their heads lowered in shame, refusing to meet your gaze. “is this some kind of sick joke, are you guys pulling a prank or something because this isn’t funny” you said seriously not wanting to believe what you’re hearing from inside of your boyfriends dorm.
“we’re sorry, we tried to convince him not too but he wouldn’t listen” theo muttered silently.
it felt like your world was breaking apart slowly. just not too long ago you were excited to spend a weekend with your boyfriend who you loved so dearly, the same boyfriend who you’ve been dating for years, the same boyfriend who gets jealous about how much time you spend with his mum rather than him.
with shaky fingers you put your hand on the door knob and quickly pushed the door open, already preparing for the worst.
there he was, wrapped up with parkinson in the same bed you two shared not even twenty-four hours ago. her body straddling his naked, just like yours was doing the night before. you stood there frozen, mouth agape— not even knowing what to do with yourself.
“baby, i can explain, just please— y/n please don’t leave” draco said pushing pansy off of him, shuffling on his pants and reaching out towards you.
“dont touch me, malfoy!” you yelled and everyone froze. “you lost the right to touch me the minute you even thought of touching her” you continued sending both him and pansy a glare with tears threatening to slip from your eyes.
“darling please, i can explain—”
“no draco, we’re done just leave me alone, please” your voice cracking at the end as you pushed past blaise and theo rushing towards the girls dormitory.
Spend my days locked in a haze
Trying to forget you babe
I fall back down
Gotta stay high all my life
To forget I'm missing you
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
it’s been days since you last left your room, days since you last saw draco. daphne would come by and check on you but you’d always dismiss her, wanting to be alone. regret is one word to describe how you’ve been feeling— you gave him everything and he threw it away so carelessly for a quick hook up.
you missed waking up against his smooth skin in his embrace, tracing the lines and scars across his porcelain skin as you waited for him to wake up, the way he’d try to kiss you in the morning without brushing his teeth and you wouldn’t let him because of morning breath— but he’d still do it anyways.
you missed him, but he didn’t want you anymore.
maybe it was something you’ve done, you’ve been quite busy with work recently so you haven’t been spending as much time with him as normal. he was probably lonely and trying to seek the attention you lacked to give him.
getting up, you stared at yourself in the mirror picking yourself apart. you were pretty, it was a well known fact around hogwarts, maybe he thought she was prettier. she was the life of the party and always up for some mischief whereas you preferred to do stuff in silence and would rather be with a small group of people. maybe he liked how exciting she was in comparison to you, she probably brought a spark of excitement to his life that you couldn’t.
dreading to feel something you quickly showered and got ready to leave your room hoping to run into a specific set of twins.
Pick up daddies at the playground
How I spend my daytime
Loosen up the frown,
Make them feel alive
I'll make it fast and greasy
I'm on my way to easy
“well what can we do for you today” fred said to you with a cheeky smile plastered across his face.
“do you have any muggle herb left?” you asked in a low voice making sure no one heard you.
“maybe we do, maybe we don’t” george said. “how much are you offering in exchange though” he continued.
“ten galleons for three ounces, is that enough” you said pulling the galleons out of your pockets and placing them in george’s palm.
“it was a pleasure doing business with you” they said in unison as fred placed the tiny baggie in your pocket so no one would see.
once you returned to your dormitory you quickly pulled out the pre-rolled muggle herb, lit it and let yourself forget.
You're gone and I gotta stay
High all the time
To keep you off my mind
Spend my days locked in a haze
Trying to forget you babe
I fall back down
Gotta stay high all my life
To forget I'm missing you
you started showing up to class late with red tired eyes, not caring about the looks you got. at this point every one knew what had happened but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.
the muggle herb brought you a sense of bliss and freedom, a new feeling you haven’t felt before but something that you now craved.
“are you high right now?” draco said as he sat himself in the seat beside you.
“since when do you care about what i’m doing” you said sharply, not wanting to talk with him.
“love, you don’t smoke. who gave that stuff to you, i’ll kill them—”
“no you won’t.” you said turning towards him. “you won’t do any of that because you don’t own me and i’m not your girlfriend anymore. so mind your business malfoy, i’m sure parkinson’s waiting for you”
the rest of the class you both sat in silence working on potions that draco did most of since you weren’t in the correct mind state and he wasn’t willing to let his mark falter over your slip up.
you find it amazing how even when you’re on drugs he still looks amazing. the way his nose curves perfectly with a slight bump, and the way his hands move with caution as he pours the potion into the waste bucket.
“look, i’m sorry for what happened with pansy. it didn’t mean anything i swear, i don’t know why i did it but i regret it with my life” draco said breaking your thoughts, he looked older than normal and had dark circles underneath his under eyes. you wondered why he looked so distraught when he wasn’t the one who got cheated on.
“a sorry isn’t going to fix this draco” you told him. he knew you were right but he didn’t want to admit it. he hadn’t talked to pansy since the day you walked in on them, the guilt has been eating him up inside. he stayed silent and didn’t bother respond to you, he knew anything he said would have made the situation worst than it already is— but how he wished you were still his sweet y/n.
“now if you excuse me, i have some fun to attend too” you said leaving him alone as you made your way back to your dorm.
Staying in my play pretend
Where the fun, it got no end
Can't go home alone again
Need someone to numb the pain
You're gone and I gotta stay
High all the time
To keep you off my mind
over the last few weeks, you couldn’t remember the last time you were sober. you started skipping classes to smoke and avoiding your friends so they’d stop questioning your habits.
you were forgetting and that’s all that mattered, you didn’t care how it was affecting your health— it made you feel better. sometimes you wished there was another way, another way to forget how he held you at night pressing soft kisses to your skin, another way to forget the way he took pansy the same way he took you. you wonder if he feels as sorry as he looks, he’s the one who cheated so he can’t possibly care that much.
you hear two knocks at your door which quickly break you from your state making you more attentive, cleaning yourself up and opening the door. there stood draco— his eyes red as well, like hes been crying.
“y/n listen, i know what i did was wrong and that i tried to pretend it wasn’t me but please. i didn’t mean too, you mean the world to me. i miss you so much love.” he pleaded with you.
“y’know draco, i miss you too” you admitted. “but i’ve found a way to forget about you, maybe you should do the same”.
Gotta stay high all my life
To forget I'm missing you
-
taglist: @mauvea @teenwolfbitches28 @ilygw @nic0lodean @s1ater @henqtic @justreadingficsdontmindme @i-love-scott-mccall @harmqnia @gwlvr @alishahpotter
#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy#draco malfoy fluff#draco malfoy smut#draco fuckingmalfoy#draco malfoy angst#harry potter#draco lucius malfoy
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I DEMAND VAMPIRE READER TURN PETER PLEASE WE NEED HAPPINESS
This one is a bit longer😭
“Why won’t you do it?” Peter begged, begged for a lifetime with you. Begged to live the rest of his life with you. He was young, you remembered when you were just as young as him and were blinded by love.
“Peter, you love me now, you won’t love me forever. What about MJ? what about Gwen? That one girl Liz?” Your tounge burns as you say the names of peters EX’s but you needed him to remember he was human.
“So what? Girls I use to date? Who cares about them (y/n)? I love you, I know you and I know us and I won’t ever leave you. I know you’ve been alone for the past 300 years but now we have each other. I don’t know loneliness the way you do but I know enough to want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
His words were tough. He fought his way with you so you’d turn him. Sometimes, when you kissed his neck, he would push his neck more against your lips in hopes you’d snap. He’d fight, convince, love you until you turned him.
“Peter…I…” you look away. He comes over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and gently placing a kiss to your jaw.
“You won’t hurt me, you’d never hurt me. I’d only feel you.” He promises and you sigh.
Through your entire life you felt lost, alone, traveling the world all alone and finding yourself in beds of hopeless men and women just like you until you met Peter. Peter understood, Peter made you feel loved, Peter bought you flowers and got excited to hear about your day. Peter was everything you were looking for.
The only problem with peter was that he was human.
“It will sting,” you kiss gently at his neck. You feel his body warming in excitement. “Some say it burns, some say it feels like nothing…” you let your teeth graze over his neck. “Some find pleasure in it, if it’s with a loved one.” You describe.
Your kisses grew short and peters breath grew heavy as you finally sunk your teeth into his neck. His blood was sweet, you knew it would be. He pulled you closer by the waist, you held the back of his head for support. You didn’t stop, couldn’t stop. Not until everything was done but you could feel his body grow cold and his hands grow limp against your waist.
Once you were done you removed your lips. Peters eyes were closed but you knew he would wake up in a matter of seconds. You wiped your lips before setting him on the bed.
“How do you feel?” You wait a moment, watching it all set in. He places his hand over his neck, it’s sore but nothing more than a bruise. His whole body burns and he felt for a moment his heart was going to explode but it didn’t, it simply just stopped.
After three years of begging, three years of him in his knees in front of you you finally did it. You now stare at your boyfriend, waiting for his next words.
“Really tired…” he admits and you try not to laugh. “But not sleepy tired just…” he starts snd you finish for him.
“Weak?” You ask and he nods.
“Yeah.” He nods and you hold your hand out.
“I have some stuff for you…don’t worry.” He takes your hand and you lead him to your fridge. Bag after bag of blood he drinks it all. He eats like a child who just spent their whole day playing outside and was now famished. You knew newborns were a lot and were extremely hungry but you also forget that Peter wasn’t much human before.
“The bruise will go away in a few days…you’ll continue to be hungry and we’ll keep you inside for a few days so you’re not tempted to do anything. I’ll bring back more blood tomorrow but you’re going to make yourself lightheaded if you keep eating like that.” You tease him and he presses his lips against yours.
You want to stay like this forever, his lips against yours after he just ate. His body gaining back a bit of warmth as all vampires did after they ate.
“No more sleep huh?” He asks, pulling apart just so he can tease you.
“No, no more worrying about catching our breaths either.” You smirked and he grips your hips and pulls you against him.
“Then I guess we’re in for a long night.” He tells you. You also forgot how excited newborns were. How excited they were to be no longer human, they needed everything at once.
“Calm down tiger.” You pat his chest. “I like some of my furniture in this place.” The last thing you needed was coming into the living room and finding every table, chair and couch broken.
You hear the whimper escape his lips just barely so you pressed your lips to his jaw.
“We have eternity.” You remind him and there was a twinkle in his eye. You were once told that human love carried into the afterlife with vampires, whatever love peter had for you carried right with him.
“We have eternity.” He repeats your words back before kissing you and pulling apart. He walks over to your bookshelf filled with your favorites and you stand confused. “Read to me?”
And so you spend the first night of the rest of your lives reading him all your old stories, reading about your past and then romanticizing about your future. This was the rest of your life, all with peter
#kats blurbs#peter parker imagine#peter parker x reader#peter parker fan fic#peter parker fluff#peter parker smut#peter parker blurb
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Take care of your body
Why You Should Take a Break: The Importance of Rest and Relaxation
I Think I Need to Go the Emergency Room?
Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money
Your Yearly Free Medical Care Checklist
Ask the Bitches: Ugh, How Do I Build the Habit of Taking Meds?
Blood Money: Menstrual Products for Surviving Your Period While Poor
On Pulling Weeds and Fighting Back: How (and Why) to Protect Abortion Rights
Ask the Bitches: How Can I Survive in an Apartment with No Heat?
Take care of your mind
Our Master List of 100% Free Mental Health Self-Care Tactics
How Mental Health Affects Your Finances
Ask the Bitches: “How Do I Protect My Own Mental Health While Still Helping Others?”
Kurt Vonnegut’s Galapagos and Your Big Brain
Everything Is Stressful and I’m Dying: How to Survive a Panic Attack
Stop Recommending Therapy Like It’s a Magic Bean That’ll Grow Me a Beanstalk to Neurotypicaltown
Making Decisions Under Stress: The Siren Song of Chocolate Cake
Ask the Bitches: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed
Ask the Bitches: How Can I Absolve Myself of Financial Guilt Over My Pricey PS4?
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Update: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed
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Stop Measuring Your Time in Beyoncé Hours
Help! I’m Procrastinating and I Can’t Get Up!
You Won’t Regret Your Frugal 20s
Actually, Fuck Big Goals
How to Insulate Yourself From Advertisements
I’ve Succeeded at Every New Year’s Resolution I’ve Ever Made. Here’s How.
Romanticizing the Side Hustle: When 1 Job Isn’t Enough
8 Free Time Management Systems To Try in the New Year
My 25 Secrets to Successfully Working from Home with ADHD
I Am So Over Productivity Porn
Take care of your career
High School Students Have No Way of Knowing What Career to Choose. Why Do We Make Them Do It Anyway?
The Actually Helpful, Nuanced, Non-Bullshit Way to Choose a Future Career
Woke at Work: How to Inject Your Values into Your Boring, Lame-Ass Job
Are You Working on the Next Fyre Festival?: Identifying a Toxic Workplace
My Secret Weapon for Preparing for Awkward Boss Confrontations
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I Hate My Job and I Don’t Know How To Leave It: A Confession
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Season 1, Episode 9: “I’ve Given up on My Dream Career. Where Do I Go From Here?”
Take care of your space
How to Successfully Work from Home Without Losing Your Goddamn Mind (Or Your Job)
Leaving Home before 18: A Practical Guide for Cast-Offs, Runaways, and Everybody in Between
Ask the Bitches: I Want to Move Out, but I Can’t Afford It. How Bad Would It Be to Take out Student Loans to Cover It?
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Take care of your people
How Dafuq Do Couples Share Their Money?
Ask the Bitches: “How Do I Protect My Own Mental Health While Still Helping Others?”
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Be Somebody’s Eliza with a Simple Yet Life-Changing Act of Kindness
Take care of your financial well-being
Ask the Bitches: How Can I Make Myself Financially Secure Before Age 30?
How to Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year
Ask the Bitches: Is It Too Late to Get My Financial Shit Together?
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Share My Horror at the World’s Worst Debt Visualization
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Akrasia.
Happy Birthday To the Golden Maknae.
Here’s a little treat in lieu of Jungkook’s 24th Birthday!!!
Canon Compliant.
Jungkook x OC
Word Count : 10K.
Genre : Mild Angst. ( Happy'Ending) Jungkook X OC
Akrasia (noun)
PHILOSOPHY the state of mind in which someone acts against their better judgement through weakness of will.
Getting involved with someone like Jungkook is a bad idea. Do you even realize who he is? How much he’s worth? He’s easily one of the richest men in the country . He’s loved by everyone.
I wrapped the coat around myself, tighter. Everything that Lee Jiae had said was true. She was a popular idol . Someone who would actually make a good match for the Jeon Jungkook.
But even Jiae balked at the idea of going anywhere near someone like him.
Career suicide, she had said firmly. That would be career suicide, Areum. He has fangirls from all over the world. Billions of them. They will dig so deep into my past, find the most innocent of things and twist and turn it and the next thing I know, I’m being kicked out of my band, out of the company and on the streets. I don’t want that. And neither should you.
I shivered a bit. No, I thought honestly. I didn’t want that either. I was far from successful, just an up and coming soloist , with a very very niche fanbase. I did sell a lot of records and I made enough money to live comfortably but I was not a mainstream celebrity. I didn’t register on people’s radar because I stayed far away from the spotlight.
There was something about social media that made it a terrifying thing to me. It was so abstract and unreal and yet…it seemed almost like a sentient being.
A powerful sentient being that could potentially destroy my whole life.
It scared me.
And while Jungkook and BTS had conquered that particular monster, had leashed and saddled the beast and made it their own personal pet…. I didn’t want anything to do with that.
I don’t want that, I told myself firmly. I really don’t want that. I want to stay this way… make music I love… read the few dozen fan handwritten fan letters I received everyday, make the occasional appearance on a magazine cover and then just quietly retreat into my studio. I want this. And if I go anywhere near Jeon Jungkook, I’ll lose this. I’ll lose all of this.
My phone buzzed and I jumped, glancing around nervously. The late October wind was cold but not biting. Winter would come but not for a while. And yet my skin chilled in apprehension. I always felt guilty, picking up one of his calls in public. It felt like I was being watched, like everyone could hear me, on the phone …Could hear who I was talking to.
“Hello.” I whispered nervously, eyes flitting around to find a secluded spot in the park. It was early in the morning, still an hour away from sunrise and I quickly hopped over a small hedgerow and moved into a wooded area, away from the main path that had the occasional cyclist or jogger.
“You didn’t come.” His voice was honey, the way it dripped into my senses and made my breath catch. And yet it was the undercurrent of disappointment that tugged at my heart. Made guilt churn inside me in rapid little currents.
“Yes. Sorry.” I said quietly, picking my way past a few bushes to a bench a little way into the woods. It was rusty and damp because no one came here , and the darkness was absolute, only faintly broken by the dim glow of the streetlights hundred yards away. I settled into the bench nonetheless.
“Areum…. Don’t do this to me.” Jungkook said brokenly and I exhaled.
“I’m not doing anything. I’m being smart. And you should be too. You’re romanticizing something that was just…it was just a conversation. We had a conversation . That’s all that happened.” I said desperately. It was something I’d told myself over an over, these past few weeks. Weeks of avoiding his texts, of ignoring his calls.
Calls from his hyungdeul.
That had given me a whole heart attack.
“You’re just going to ignore me then? Toss my feelings away like they don’t matter?” He asked quietly and my heart clenched.
“You …” I shook my head.” You need to understand something. I’m not going to do this. I can’t afford to. I told you already Jungkook…we spent one evening talking..that’s it…we’re not dating..we don’t know each other well enough for you to be saying that you have feelings for me-“
“And I told you I don’t fucking care. “ He said sharply. “ One day… One hour…who cares? I believe in soulmates. Call me foolish and dumb but I do and when I saw you I felt that. And I know you felt it too.”
My mind flashed back to that evening. It was a private birthday party for a mutual friend. Barely a dozen of us had attended and Jungkook had been sneaking glances at me all evening, completely oblivious to the ay every woman in the room had their gaze glued on him. The party hadn’t been my thing at all and I’d sneaked away to the private terrace, accessible only through a rickety old fire escape and to my utter shock he had followed me up there.
The stars had been exceptionally bright that night, but with Jungkook sitting on the tiled roof next to me, gazing at me with all that adoration, his doe eyes had seemed to hold more of them than the night sky.
“What do you want, Jungkook?” I asked quietly.
“I want you. I know you want me. We …we understand each other. I want the same things you do. Do you even fucking realize how rare that is? To find someone who shares the same thoughts, the same dreams as you do? Who looks at the world the way you do… I… I am not foolish enough to think that there’s another girl out there who could connect to me the way you do. You call that a conversation…just a conversation…. Did you forget what kind of a conversation it was?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three weeks ago
The party had barely started and I was already itching to run home. There was a particular song lyric , stuck in my head like a loop and I wanted to put it on paper as soon as possible. I had this thing where seeing something on print helped me to elaborate on an idea. Directed my train of thought in that particular direction if you willed.
Mingyu was walking around, talking to his friends and making them laugh with his witty banter but I didn’t miss the way he shot me little glances. I gave him a quick thumbs up though, to let him know I was okay. He was a childhood friend, one of the few people I’d stayed in touch with through the years. And of course, being in the same industry meant a lot of shared interests.
I moved to the side bar with the drinks and appetizers, ordering myself a diet coke before hopping onto one of the stools. I watched the dozen or so people here….His bandmates, some other idols. I recognized Yugyeom from GOT7. They were all dressed in dressy casuals : flashy shirts and tight jeans and racy little dresses and I felt out of place in my long jean skirt and tasseled leather jacket.
Sighing, I turned back to my drink when a commotion near the door made me look up.
I felt my eyes widen when I saw who it was.
The Jeon Jungkook. From BTS.
I stared at him as did pretty much every person in the room. Jungkook was easily one of the most handsome men I’d ever seen in my life, tall and just…big. I stared at the broad shoulders, the huge arms and the taut line of his abdomen, tapering into a narrow waist and long, long legs with muscular thighs. He was wearing a black shirt, unbuttoned all the way to his chest and skinny blue jeans with black boots.
I smiled, genuinely awed. Jungkook looked every bit like the untouchable superstar he was and I considered that the party hadn’t been a waste after all. The chances of me running into someone like that in person were pretty slim.
Almost at once he was surrounded and I watched as his ears turned red, gaze shifting away and an almost soft shyness in the way he bowed politely . A hesitation to be put on the spot but also a need to stay polite , probably. Laughing a bit , I watched him some more and then his gaze lifted to mine. To my surprise, his eyes went wide in what was clearly recognition.
What.
I watched as he quickly bowed and said something to the people around him before picking his way to me. My entire body went taut with surprise.
“Lee Areum ssi…” He stuttered, eyes wide and I could only gape. “ I’m a huge fan.”
I blinked.
What.
What.
“You know who I am?” I asked , mildly horrified and he laughed nervously, shaking his head and rubbing the back of his palm across his nose before laughing a little.
“Your voice is just… something about your songs…they help me sleep when I’m too exhausted to relax.” He said softly and I felt warmth pool inside me.
“Too exhausted too sleep. That doesn’t sounf good...”
Jungkook chuckled.
“Its not. It usually happens when we’re preparing for a comeback. It different with concerts you know…we’re exhausted because we’ve been running around …singing…its all physical…mostly. And that’s easy to brush aside and sleep. But comebacks…there’s that nervousness. The worry that things may not be as good as they were. Constantly having to keep up to standards. “ He shook his head. “ it can get exhausting.”
It was something deep and oddly tragic and I was stunned that he’d shared something so… personal. To a literal stranger. But the urge to soothe..to comfort and reassure him in some way was over powering.
Instinctively, I leaned closer and lightly touched his forearm .
“But you are the standard, now, Jungkook ssi. What BTS has done, others can only dream of reaching. You’ve brought this….utopian idea that you can love yourself just the way you are… and that’s amazing. I understand the need to meet expectation but I think you’ve earned the right to sleep without being burdened by them.”
Jungkook didn’t reply, staring into my eyes and I felt my pulse kick up a notch, my eyes taking in the beautiful features and my throat went dry when his gaze dropped to where my fingers lightly brushed the soft fabric of his shirt sleeve.
“Oppa…Let’s dance.” A shrill voice behind him made us both jump and I quickly pulled my hand away. Panicking, I turned away from him fully, ducking my head so my hair could cover my face. There was a dull roaring in my head, making it hard to hear what he was saying but a second later he moved away from the bar and I exhaled sharply.
Shaking I turned back to my drink.
Another twenty minutes of trying to avoid looking at Jungkook, I gave up. This wasn’t my kind of place at all and after a quick word with Mingyu, I moved to the small balcony in the side, desperate for some fresh air. But the moment I stepped out, my eyes fell on the rickety ladder like stairs, rusty and clearly a death trap. I quickly moved to the ledge and peered up at the roof. It was a little inclined but nothing dangerous. And there was a barricade that would break my fall, just in case I slipped.
Thrilled at the prospect of doing something that was both foolish and fancy free, I quickly, climbed on to the ladder, climbing all the way over to the top and throwing my legs over the iron railing before carefully walking overt to the center of the roof. Grinning to myself, I settled on the slightly damp tiles.
“You’re lucky the ladder didn’t break .” Jungkook’s voice made me yelp and I stared as he quickly jumped over the railing himself, grinning and wiping his hands on his thighs.
“Oh my god, people are going to find us here!” I hissed, terrified and he laughed.
“Don’t worry. I told them I’m going home.”
“You lied?” I shook my head in disbelief and Jungkook hummed.
“Did I?” He pretended to think. “ Doesn’t feel like I did.”
It took me a few seconds for the implication to sink in.
I looked away, blushing a bit.
“Did I come on too strong?” He moved to sit next to me, just a foot away.
I shook my head.
“No. I’m just.. I didn’t expect you to know me. We don’t exactly run in the same circles.”
“There’s a very cliché line in my head about how you’ve been running in circles in my head for a long time but I’ll save that for our first date.” He said with a laugh and I blushed deeper.
“Date?” I shook my head, “ That’s not funny.”
“Good. Because it wasn’t a joke. Let me take you out to dinner sometime.”
I stared at him, trying to look for the punchline because even if he denied it, it was still laughable. The mere idea of it.
“Don’t turn me down Areum ssi.” He said softly and I swallowed.
“I won’t if you take it back.” I said quietly.
He sighed.
“Then…when you sang about wanting to give love a chance…wanting to free fall for once without worrying about the rocks at the bottom of the cliff, wanting to soar into the sky without thinking of the ropes trying to tether you to the ground….were you joking?”
I gaped at him.
“that’s.. those are… Those are lines from before my debut.” I said shakily.
“Like I said… I’ve been a fan for a long time.” Jungkook whispered.
The night was magical. Cool and refreshing and the night sky was resplendent, the lack of clouds offering a stellar view of the stars and yet, I found myself drawn to the galaxies swirling in his doe eyes. The strong nose and the cherry red lips, now being worried between slightly large front teeth as he stared at me with all the nervousness of a young boy.
But he wasn’t a boy. He was a man.
And this wasn’t a love song.
This was real life.
“Free falling is fun when you don’t know what you’re falling into. But when you do know that there’s a lot of pain at the end of the fall, its not something you want to experience.”
“Areum…”
“I’m flattered.” I said quickly. “ Beyond flattered…really. But… I can’t.”
“Okay. But don’t leave. Stay here with me.. for a while. Let’s talk.” He said quickly.
Jungkook was handsome and the night was still young. This maybe the last time I would ever see him and I was honest. It was flattering, receiving attention from someone like that.
I hesitated before sighing and nodding.
“Okay…let’s talk.” I smiled, throwing caution to the winds.
And talk we did. About everything and nothing. As the night grew darker, Jungkook relaxed next to me, laughing as he shared anecdotes about his members, about his family, about his brother. And then naturally about how successful they were these days and Jungkook told me that there was always a downside to fame but he enjoyed the love he received. That he loved his fans for how they treated him and his brothers.
“Fame comes with a price but it’s a small price to pay…being loved for what I do..being accepted the way I am…it feels good.” He said quietly.
“It’s not always that way though.” I pointed out honestly. “ You guys are … I won’t say lucky because you’ve definitely worked hard but you’ve been more fortunate than the rest. Sometimes the spotlight can be a terrifying place to be.”
“you forget that we were once one of the most hated idols in the country..” He laughed. “ Trust me I know.”
“I didn’t know about you guys till you got on the Billboard. And you’re an amazing singer as well.” I said softly.
He grinned , playing with the bracelets on his wrist.
“Thank you.” He said sweetly.
We stayed quiet for a few seconds, staring up at the sky.
“I’ve never been attracted to fame.” I told him honestly.” Of course it holds its charms I suppose but I’ve always preferred the quiet of being obscure, you know. Like this secret that only a few get to learn in their lifetime.” I laughed. “ A hidden treasure maybe? Its why I started a Youtube channel instead of auditioning. Because only people who genuinely liked my music would get more of me. ” I smiled.
Jungkook hummed.
“When you first started singing your own songs on your YouTube channel? It was kind of around the same time we won our first daesang…” He smiled. “ In the MMA.”
“Oh…Really?” I asked surprised. That was nearly five years ago.
“Yeah. And till then..it was just your voice that I got to hear. You talked a bit but mostly it was just you covering someone else’s songs. And well, after we won the daesang I felt …lonely? Kind of? Scared maybe. And then you sang, ‘ White Dove’ a couple of days later and the lyrics…they just resonated with me you know. It made me feel like I knew you… Like you were a friend.”
I swallowed.
“I..thank you.” I whispered quietly, staring at my hands.
“And when you refused to sign with SM or YG. You also refused to monetize your videos on Youtube. You said your voice was your gift and you didn’t want to make money from something you’d received for free yourself. That …I loved that.”
“You’re like that too. You post your covers and songs on soundcloud for free as well.” I said quietly and he smiled.
“Like I said…we have a lot in common.” He smiled.
I smiled, shaking my head.
“I envy you.” He said quietly and I glanced at him.
“Hmm?”
“You’re just… You’re so untouched by all this. By me. It may sound incredibly narcissistic but people swoon when they see me for the first time but…you’re just you…. And that just makes me remember that you’re amazing and beautiful and you have such beautiful mind and you’re just… you’re so far out of my league. You’re so content with what you have and I wish I could be that way….But I …I can’t help but be greedy.”
“Greedy?”
“To do more. To want more. I know I should be happy that I even got to meet you . I feel like I’ve lived a lifetime in these two hours , sitting here talking to you. But I’m still greedy for more.” He stared at me with an intensity that was electric.
“More what?” I laughed.
“More of this. More of you. More of you and me together. More of us.”
“Us?” I laughed, shaking my head. “ There’s no us , Mr. Jungkook . you need to forget about that.”
“ I don’t think I can.” He said suddenly.
I felt the smile fade from my face.
“Jungkook.”
“Your song … Utopia… where you write about your idea of the perfect world. I… I loved it.” He said shakily.
“Jungkook , wait…”
“All of these days, when I listened to your songs, I would make it personal.. It would be about how those words applied to my life but with Utopia… that world you talk about …where you can be yourself, where you can sing whatever you want, be whoever you want…. When I heard that song…it became about you. About us.. I… that world you dream of.. I want to give that to you.”
My jaw dropped and I exhaled in disbelief.
“Do you realize how ridiculous that is? Your fans…our companies… Everyone will lose their minds.” I whispered, horrified.
He nodded.
“I know. I know I shouldn’t ask you this. Because it goes against my better judgement. But I can’t help. I still want to choose this. Choose you. So if there’s a word for that.. That is how I feel.”
“I.. I should go.” I said nervously, making to move but he reached out an gently gripped my wrist.
“Do you believe in love at first sight?” He asked quietly and I shook my head.
“No.. I don’t.” I said quietly.
“Good. Because neither do I. But I do believe in people who can understand you better than anyone else can. Just give me a chance. One date.”
I stayed quiet staring at my feet. There was so much to consider but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him and say no. He looked so hopeful.
“I’m busy for a couple of weeks. But there’s a beautiful terrace restaurant in Itaewon that I know. We’ll have complete privacy . I’ll get my chauffeur to pick you up. No one ill know. I just want to spend some time with you over dinner and if you have a good time….. we can meet again.”
And then what?
“I…I’ll try. But I can’t promise anything.“ I said honestly.
“That’s good enough for me. Can I have your number at least?” He asked finally.
I nodded and quietly put it into his phone.
“I’ll make the reservation and send you the details. And Areum?”
I glanced up at him.
“I’ve been free falling since I met you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I closed my eyes, breathing deeply.
“I do.” I said quietly. “ I do remember.”
“I haven’t stopped falling. I keep listening to your songs on loop… Because I can’t bear the thought of being away from you , of not being connected to you in some way…”
“You’re so .. you’re so intense.” I whispered shakily and he laughed.
“I know, baby. I’m sorry. It’s just the way I am… I’m here you know. The restaurant I told you about. And my chauffeur is at your home. But he told me he couldn’t find you. It’s the middle of the night . where are you?”
I sighed.
“In the park opposite my house.”
Jungkook didn’t respond for a second.
“Do you want me to ask him to leave?” He asked quietly.
I took a deep breath.
“ Akrasia. “ I breathed out nervously.
“What…”
“its when someone makes a decision…against their better judgement.” I laughed nervously. “When we had that conversation , you asked me if there was a word for it. For acting against your better judgement. Akrasia is the word you’re looking for .”
He stayed quiet on the other end.
“Okay.” He said finally. “ Well, are you going to be akratic with me?” he said finally.
“Ask your driver to leave for now. And come meet me in my apartment tomorrow. I’ll make you dinner.”
Jungkook didn’t respond.
“That way we’ll have more privacy.” I said softly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dating Jungkook was a lot of pain. Just as I’d anticipated. It was sitting by and watching him work himself down to the bone. It was watching people throw themselves at him and not being able to say a word. To the world he was single. And the number of women who called and hounded him was unnatural.
And he worked so hard that my heart ached for him.
One night, he missed dinner and I couldn’t reach him on the phone. I stayed up , sitting on my bed, waiting.
He came back at exactly at three in the morning. He didn't turn on the light but the moonlight through the window was sufficient to let me know that he looked terrible. i watched him shrug out of his jacket, leaning against the table , long legs crossed and crisp white shirt unbuttoned. He tugged at his tie with a sort of tired , half hearted gesture and i smiled.
i watched him for sometime, seeing him shrug out of his shirt and change into a simple white t shirt. He moved with a sort of graceful strength. Like every single cell of his body had the same confidence that he did.
It was like a dream, i realized as another dull ache of pain twisted my heart. It was like i'd slept and woken up in someone else's dream. A dream where it was okay for me to look at him and feel things for him , without fighting to convince herself that it was dangerous. That it was going to end in heartbreak.
As i watched him prepare for bed, i wondered when I had started falling so hard.
The sound of the door closing, made me look up , shaken out of my thoughts. Jungkook was locking the door behind him.
When he moved to the bed, i decided to let him know that i was awake.
"You're back?" i said softly.
He hesitated, clearly startled , before smiling at me. It was a weak smile, one that practically screamed exhaustion and i sat up straighter, watching as he moved to me side and gently stroked me hair.
"Why aren't you asleep?" He smiled.
"I was waiting for you." i said honestly holding my hand out and he took it, kissing it obediently.
"you'll have to wait longer, I'm afraid. I have a meeting tomorrow morning with PDnim and I still haven't prepped for it. I need to get an hour's sleep and get back to work. " Up close he looked so tired that i felt my heart clench in panic.
"You don't look good." i said, alarmed as i realized that his skin had a distinctively grayish tinge to it.
"Comeback times are always that way. Never good for my health." He said teasingly. He checked his phone messages before turning to me and smiling.
"I see you've been cutting back on the pain killers... are you feeling better than?" He asked. I’d been down with some menstrual cramps earlier and I was touched that he remembered, even in the mess of his schedule.
"I wish you wouldn't change the topic everytime I try to show concern for you." i said , a little bit annoyed. He grinned and touched my cheek with his forefinger.
"Just the fact that you are concerned is enough for me . anything more and I might die of happiness. you don't want that do you?" He winked.
Deciding that it was impossible to talk with the man, i asked him if he wanted something to drink.
He shook his head and climbed in next to me but before laying down, he turned to me.
He hesitated.
"Will you lend me your shoulder for the night?" He said softly , placing his hand there.
i sighed as he leaned against me . His skin felt warm against me, his hair lightly tickling me cheekbones and i threaded me finger through the silky strands.
In just a few seconds, he was fast asleep.
I stayed awake, watching the room grow steadily brighter, the weak winter sun gently finding its way into the room , much like the way the man in my arms was gently finding his way into my heart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"We should get a house, don't you think?" i said two months later, sitting up in bed , eating dinner while i watched him work on his files. He'd placed the desk in the far corner of the room, giving me the perfect view. And i was beginning to enjoy it a lot more than the one i could see out the window.
" A house? " Jungkook stopped and looked up. " You want to live with me ? Just the two of us?" He smiled.
Well, when he put it that way. I balked and ducked my head.
"It's too soon isn't it..I'm sorry I don't know why I..."
"What kind of a house would you prefer? Flat? Penthouse? Apartment? Duplex? Tell me....I'll get you the listings and you can pick out the ones you like . When you get better we can go pick one out." He grinned at me and i relaxed against the pillows , while he went back to his files.
"I read something online…” i said casually . He didn't look up, merely humming to acknowledge that he'd heard me.
"Did you date Lee Hyeri ?" i finally said. He stopped and looked at me.
"Yes. Many months ago. I broke up with her because I wasn’t feeling anything serious and I didn’t want to lead her one. She didn’t take it very well. ." He said softly, moving towards the bed and sitting on the edge. As was his habit, he reached for my hand, holding it in his and tracing circles with his thumb.
“She called me.” I said quietly and he stiffened.
“Shit.”
I laughed.
“She wanted to meet me . Wanted to talk about something although I have an idea what. I’m not going to indulge her though.”
“If she calls again, you should tell her that her obsession is bordering on stalking and I’m on the verge of getting a restraining order. She turned up at my studio too. Went on an on about how I broke her heart and cheated on her . ”
i hesitated , looking away from him and smiling.
"I don't know . Should I?" i shook my head. i hesitated, pulling my hand away from him. "What else did she say?" i said suddenly, remembering how angry she had sounded on the phone.
"Nothing, you need to worry about. Are you done with this? Shall I clean it up?" He reached for my dinner tray and i grabbed his wrist.
"where are you going? You should tell me what she said." i protested, but he gently pried my fingers off before dropping a kiss on me forehead .
"And You should tell me when you're going to start staying over at my apartment.. It's going to snow in a few days. Or so they say. I thought you might like to enjoy the first snow with me..." He smiled .
I took the subtle hint to drop the subject.
"You're being too wonderful. It makes my heart ache." i snuggled into my bed and pouted at him. He laughed at that.
"Take rest. I have a meeting right now. I'll be back late so you should sleep."
I watched him leave, feeling oddly bereft. I was growing to love him deeply.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As with every couple in the world, our fights were often over the silliest things.
"You're still angry." I said casually, watching him work on his documents, the low burning desk light setting his features in sharp relief. He looked at me for a second and shook his head.
"I'm not angry , Areum. I'm busy. There is a difference." He said with a sigh, rubbing the heel of his palm into his eye. I watched the gesture and sat up straighter in bed, leaning over the side to stare at the clock there. It read 1.15 Am.
"It's snowing." I said softly, getting one my knees and peering out the windows. Through the haze of moonlight, I watched the small flakes drift down over the neatly cut hedgerows, making each segment of the garden look like neat cut slices of cake with vanilla cream frosting. I grinned at the little wisps of cotton white snow, clinging to each little branch on the trees and felt my heart swell with joy.
"I suppose you're too busy to make good on your promise." I said naughtily, peering over my shoulder to glance at him.
"Promise?"
"That you'll walk with me , in the first snow." I said, turning around and getting out of bed, slipping my feet into my fur slippers. I watched him fight with himself , the emotions warring across his handsome face and held my breath.
finally he sighed and stood up. I tried to keep the triumphant grin off my face and failed miserably. I felt awful, because deep down I had known that no matter how angry or upset he was, Jungkook would never break a promise. And I'd worded my request that way, just to take advantage of that little chink of honor that he always lived by.
"Alright then. Let's go take a walk in the first snow." He said softly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You love snow."
"How did you know that?" I said surprised, lightly grabbing the low lying branch till it showered both of us with soft white flakes.
"You make these little sounds , everytime you see snow. I've noticed it from the time we met." Jungkook grinned .
I laughed and turned away. I felt like I was standing in the middle of a fairytale, the white landscape making me feel like some exotic Ice Queen. I walked ahead of him, running a few steps till I was about ten feet ahead of him. I turned around, facing him as I walked backwards. He laughed at that.
"Be careful. The snow looks soft but the fall will hurt." He warned me, putting his hands in his pockets and narrowing his shoulders to fight the chill. I smiled and shook my head.
"I want to look at you and make sure that you're not angry with me anymore." I said, enjoying the way he rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"I'm not angry. I told you that."
"Yes. You did. But i didn't tell you I'm sorry, did I?" I said softly, stopping in my tracks and watching as he drew closer. Jungkook gave me a curious glance, walking slowly till he was just in front of me.
"I'm sorry I said I'll leave you." I said honestly. He looked surprised but smiled nonetheless.
"Duly noted." He bowed his head, tipping an imaginary hat at me. Smiling, I turned around I ran a few more steps and instinctively knelt on the ground
"Don't ." He said suddenly.
I looked up from where I was gathering a handful of snow. I gave him an innocent smile.
"What?"
"I know what you're thinking. don't do it." He said, taking a step back. I felt a thrill of anticipation shoot through me, realizing that the big bad wolf was actually scared of being hit by a snowball.
"You should know why I like snow so much.." I grinned with mischief and he gave me a look of disbelief.
"I don't think you can hit me. You're forgetting that i'm an expert at taekwondo.”
I held my hand up and threw , cursing when he casually stepped out of the way, laughing at the look on my face.
"You have to concentrate on what you're doing. Anticipate my next move and react accordingly." He advised, bending down to get some snow for himself.
"React to this!!" I grabbed two handfuls of snow and ran straight at him, grinning as I leapt on him.
We landed on the snow, Jungkook on his back and I right on top of him, laughing as I smeared the snow on his face. He spluttered in disbelief and swiftly, threw his weight over, pinning me to the ground and straddling me, fingers swiftly grabbing my wrists and pushing my hands over my head, leaving me vulnerable and helpless, as he shook his head , showering me with ice cold flakes.
I squeaked in surprise and he laughed hard.
Watching him laugh, full and open , I realized that I'd never watched him laugh that way before.
He looked exhilarated.
Yanking my hand out of his grasp, I grabbed his collar, pulling him down for a kiss.
the first touch of his lips to mine, felt like the sweetest, coolest sip of crystal waters after a lifelong thirst .
I sank into the snow, sighing into the sweetness and the gentle pressure of his lips against me, the first touch of his tongue, making heat seep through my body, despite the cold. I curled my fingers into the fur near his neck, smiling into the kiss as he slipped one hand into my hair, gently tilting my head for better access.
He kissed me softly. He kissed me deeply.
He kissed me like that was what he'd been put on the earth to do.
But mostly he kissed me like that was all he wanted .
It was so absurdly romantic that I wanted to laugh .
I could catch whiffs of his scent, even though my eyes were watering and mey nose felt like it was running. Some elusive cologne mixed with the scent of clean male skin . It made me heat up in ways that curled my toes in my fur boots. Each little kiss lasted a little longer than the one before, till I was certain that I was going to melt into the snow. And each little breath felt like a little wisp of my soul leaving my body and mingling with his.
We kissed and kissed and kissed, while the snow fell in white flakes around us .
First Snow. first kiss, I thought happily.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After our little episode in the garden, I found that I felt something akin to desperation everytime I came in contact with Jungkook.
It's not that I woke up one day and realized that something had changed in the way I watched Jungkook.
. That my eyes lingered, not just on his face but on the curve of his lips, the edge of his jaw, the exposed skin of his neck. My fingers wanted to reach out and grip, not just the strength of his shoulders and the slender digits of his hand but also his lean waist.
I began losing my mind, slowly and painfully. Suffocating when Jungkook got too close , choking when he went away too far.
As they spent time together, Jungkook began touching me.
. Not too often and never in an intrusive way , but every time his fingers traced the back of my palm or brushed back my hair, my throat went dry and my heart stopped pumping blood and I felt like like a fool because I had no idea if Jungkook felt half of what I was feeling.
In fact I was certain that Jungkook didn’t feel anything at all.
What I was feeling was painful and confusing and if Jungkook felt any of it, he would be running as far away from me as possible, not moving closer and closer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Why are you so nervous?” Jungkook laughed and I bit my nails nervously, glancing around the reception hesitantly. The workers were all busy, no one spared us so much as a glance but I couldn’t help but feel terrified.
“It’s only us here? For the whole weekend? No one else?” I asked again for the hundredth time.
Jungkook groaned, shaking his head and ignoring me, holding his hand out for the keys to our cottage. I yelped a bit when he began walking away without waiting for me, running to keep up with his long strides.
“Sorry…I just don’t want you to get in trouble.” I said quietly, slipping my hand into his, linking our fingers together and smiling a little.
He squeezed my hand gently before pulling away to wrap me in a one armed huge, pressing a kiss to my neck.
“I booked the entire resort for the weekend. The staff have all signed a confidentiality agreement. No one is going to know we’re here. You can be as loud as you want.” He whispered and I yelped, hitting his chest,” let me finish….” He laughed. “ When you yell at me. You can be as loud as you want when you yell at me.”
“You’re a terrible person.” I whispered , burying my face into his arm in mortification.
Jungkook merely laughed .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You seem tense." He said that evening, as the pair of us sat on the back deck , glasses of bubble tea in hand , watching the waves break out on the rocks. Slow but persistent , gradually breaking the rock's resistance and carving its way into its heart.
"Can we ever …truly be relaxed ?" I asked , a little bit of desperation in my tone. Jungkook didn’t turn to look at me . Instead he took a picture of the rocks and the sea with his phone.
"That's a pretty loaded question. With a lot of answers."
I stared at him, wondering why I was more confused now than before.
"Sometimes I can't understand you at all." I said quietly, shaking my head.
“Do you understand that I love you?” He said softly.
I hesitated before nodding.
“That’s the only thing that matters to me.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The boys dropped by for a visit the next day.
I sat down on the open deck, opposite Namjoon for a game of chess. Jungkook slid into the armchair next to me.
"Are you winning?" Jungkook asked quietly and I shot him a glare, which gets a smile in return promptly. It was like he always knew what to say , how to manipulate my thoughts and emotions, how to make me look and feel a certain way , just so he could steal that part of mr away.
How evil.
At first I didn’t notice that he was sitting a bit too close for comfort, because as such, we've lived on top of each other for quite a while now. But after a while I became aware of the warmth of his thigh, solid and strong against my own, evident even through the layers of jean separating them.
I tried to move away, surreptitiously, but Jungkook only moved closer.
"Try this."
His fingers fluttered over my thigh, intentionally or not I would never know, reaching for my queen and I tried not to jump out of my skin, gritting my teeth as my muscles stiffened, my nerves tingling like electric.
I licked my lips and Jungkook’s eyes flickered up at the movement, a gentle smile tugging at his lips and my gut clenched in embarrassment. But the brunette moved even closer, his bare arm now brushing against mine and I had to swallow the desperate urge to get up and just run.
"Well, this is entertaining." Namjoon said suddenly and i looks at my opponent for the first time since Jungkook’s arrival. Namjoon was leaning back in his armchair, amusement shining out of his eyes .
I scrambled in a bid to put space between Jungkook and I and failed miserably.
"He's just helping me with chess." I said desperately.
"Oh, is that what they call it these days?" Namjoon leaned forward looking very intrigued.
Jungkook reached out and clonked him on the head but his eyes were laughing and I wondered how this was going to end. I wanted it. Wanted to take that final step with Jungkook but I was also so , so scared.
Would it change things. For the better? For worse?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jungkook, I soon realized, took the way I was shying away from him , as some sort of a twisted challenge to get closer than ever. The more I moved away, the closer Jungkook gets , touching me in gentle intimate little touches and every time he did, a slow simmering fire started at the pit of my stomach, reaching out in gentle upward licks , drying my throat and turning my insides into molten goo.
She's almost tempted to ask Jungkook if he feels the same way but she's saved the trouble later that week.
"I want you."
I froze on the spot, fingers stopping in mid air, inches from picking up a slice of apple, neatly placed on the tray. We were in the dining room, Jungkook sitting with a set of files spread out in front of him and me with a knife and a few uncut apples in a basket.
"You..what?" I squeaked.
" I'm attracted to you and I really want to have sex with you." Jungkook said , almost carefully.
Like he was announcing the weather. Like his words weren’t carefully calculated to turn my world upside down.
"Alright. " I whispered, not even sure what else I could say to that.
I stole a glance at Jungkook who was grinning from ear to ear. I felt blush rushing up my body, the blood flooding my face so quick it made me dizzy..
"Don't .. Don't look at me like that." I whispered, mortified to sound like a sixteen year old girl.
"Do you want me to leave now?" Jungkook reached out , placing a soft hand on my palm and it took all my willpower not to grab Jungkook and hug him. Instead I managed a weak smile. My mind was a few seconds away from collapsing in on itself and I was too stunnedto think straight.
So I answered the question at face value.
"No, I don't want you to leave now. "
"Okay. Go ahead, eat your fruit. It's good for you."
Jungkook smiled again, serene and perfectly at peace with the world.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At eleven thirty on Saturday night, both Jungkook and I sneaked out of the hotel, arms laden with our picnic basket and coats draped over our shoulders. Once we reached large pond in the outer edge of the property, Jungkook made quick work of the blanket, spreading it out on the artificial lawn that surrounded it.
I settled down on it, reaching out and dipping my legs in the water. It's a bit chilly but only for a second. I wriggled my toes playfully and Jungkook slipped a bit closer to me, letting his foot sink in next to mine.
We played around for a while, splashing water on each other and then I pulled my legs out.
"You okay?" Jungkook asked softly and I turned around to stare at him , a little apprehensive. There are so many things wrong with this , a part of me screams. But there's a part of me that longs, so badly , for this simplicity. Longs and has longed, all my life. Just this, the chance to relax and be myself and play around with water in the moonlight.
"I'm not sure." I admitted, honestly.
"Tell me. " Jungkook said and for once his voice isn't relaxed. Instead it's a bit urgent and anxious.
"We're not... I’m so scared that we'll never make it, you know." I sighed, dipping my legs back into the water, just as Jungkook pulled his out.
"Why? Because of the media ?" There’s a hint of bitterness in his voice and I hated myself for bringing this up. We were supposed to be spending time together, enjoying each other’s company. I wasn’t sup[posed to be ruining the mood like this.
"It's nothing. I just.. I don't want you to get hurt." I said honestly.
"Because of you? Because I'm with you?" Jungkook's voice was lot softer now, the bitterness replaced by concern.
"I.. Yes.. I mean... I'm.."
"You're a gorgeous young woman who is intelligent and charming. Why would I ever give you up?" Jungkook asked, reaching out and wrapping an arm around my shoulder but I couldn’t help but sigh.
"That's.. that's not what everyone else thinks." I reminded him. “ And that not what they’ll say, if you ever tell them the truth about us.”
"No it isn't. And I won't say something stupid like , it doesn't matter what others think. Because it does, I know it does. And it's going to hurt. In fact I think it would hurt you a lot more than it would hurt me. But if I don't... If I don't take a chance with us... that's going to hurt me too. So its a choice. I can either choose to get hurt by people I don't give a damn about , and in return I get... get to be with someone I really...like…..
"Or, I give up the woman I love and get hurt by my own decision. " Jungkook finished.
"We hurt either way." I smiled bitterly, Jungkook's words making a lot of sense.
"Yes. All you need to choose is , what's worth the hurt? Being with me, or society's approval?" Jungkook leaned forward slightly and I blinked.
We stayed that way staring at each other for a second and then he pulled away and sighed deeply.
"I've already chosen, I. I'm not pushing you, but I hope you'll pick me." He said quietly.
I stared into the night, thoughtfully. So easy, I told myself. So easy to turn around right now and kiss Jungkook, tell him that I didn’t deserve so much happiness. That my heart was so light, I wanted to spout wings and fly.
So easy but so frightening.
The wind picked up somewhere and somehow a draught found its way inside and I shivered a little, only to have a warm blanket wrapped around my shoulder. Jungkook snuggled in with me and we huddled together
My thoughts tripped over each other and I wanted to run away but I stayed still, letting the gentle lap of the water against my toe, calm my inner turmoil.
"It's just you and me." Jungkook whispered, " Right now. Just you and me. Let's pretend we're the only ones on the planet."
I turned around to the brunette in surprise but Jungkook's looking out into the water, lit by a full moon from the skylight.
"Just you and me. " He said absently and I nodded, looping my fingers with Jungkook's. We sat in silence, pressed against each other and I waited till the moon slipped behind a cloud before turning around, slightly, and pressing my lips against Jungkook's.
It's soft and very short, over before it even begins and Jungkook smiled into the kiss.
Explicit Content :
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jungkook teasingly pushes her back and Areum falls back against the soft mattress, like she's been shoved. She melts into the kiss and then Jungkook’s lips move away, dragging his teeth and tongue over the exposed expanse of her neck, lightly sucking and biting and then soothing with his tongue. Areum gasps and struggles and fights for air, before dragging their lips together again.
Jungkook kisses her until she's splayed flat against the bed, eyes wide and lost and lips parted, blush staining her cheeks and then Jungkook's reaching out to the table and pulling his camera , snapping a picture.
"You're such a weirdo!" Areum laughs , too turned on to be annoyed.
"No, just a man. A man in love." Jungkook leans down, pushing his hips down into hers and she gasps at the friction. They make quick work of their jeans and suddenly its skin on skin and she's not sure if she's doing this right.
"Jungkook.. I..I.."
"Hey, relax. I got you." Jungkook holds her close, just holding her, cradling her almost and the familiar words smooth away her apprehensions and he's moving closer, trying to pull more sounds out of her, his lips tracing the line of her chest, tongue swirling around one nipple before moving down and down, dipping lightly into her belly button.
And then the camera is tossed to the side, Jungkook flipping them over with ease , his lips moving down , tongue dipping into the curve of her waist down and then further down , lightly licking at the sensitive bundle of nerves near her center and Areum's pretty certain she loses her mind at that point.
"You're amazing." He whispers, and she nearly flies off the bed when Jungkook slides a single digit in, slowly , so slowly. She’s wet and ready but her body is still stuck in auto pilot and she wants to close her legs instinctively.
"Relax for me." Jungkook whispers, lips close to her ear, licking and teasing .
"I'll make it good. Just relax for me." Jungkook says again, gently, lapping at her neck and Areum unclenches her thighs letting him work his way in, sighing when the slide becomes a little more easy and a little more familiar.
"So beautiful." Jungkook whispers and Areum laughs, shaking her head.
"It's dark, you can't even see-"
"I can’t see but I can feel you. i can feel you and you’re so fucking gorgeous." He slips another finger in and curls his fingers against the walls of her insides and the gentle press of the pad of his finger is too much and not enough , all at once. Her head falls back into the pillow, all coherency leaving her body in a single whoosh of breath.
"Look at me. Only me." She whispers when Jungkook thrusts into her for the first time and Jungkook nods shakily and he pushes in, leaving her trembling at the ache and the pain and wanting to cry out, but she swallows it all down because she knows it’s going to get better .
"Don't wander off. " Areum whispers, pulling him down for a kiss and Jungkook pushes in deeper, earning a gasp. He wishes he could explain, that he can't ever think of anything but her because she is the perfect dream.
“I love this. I love you. “ she whispered and he had to physically restrain himself from burying himself to the hilt inside her. Her body was still getting used to him. He didn’t want to hurt her but God, she felt so amazing around him. the heat and wetness driving him crazy in a way that couldn’t be explained.
“Hold me tight.”
And she did.
With her arms and her legs and her body and her.....everything.
When she clenched around him, his mind went blissfully blank, her orgasm hitting him like an earth shattering, bone melting , heart stopping explosion of bliss.
He fell against her, careful not to crush her with his weight and rolled to the side gathering her close.
Someday he would hurt her, he was sure of it. He was an idiot after all and he knew he would find a way to muck this up and ruin it for them but for now, he wasn’t going to think about any of that.
For now, he was going to enjoy the intimacy of making love to the woman he loved.
Author’s Note : Hope you guys liked it! it was supposed to be very angsty but its really not lol....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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How would the valo agents react to s/o surprising them with Romance (roses petals on the bed, candles, chocolate dipped cherries, the works)?
Ok i can write this but it would be bad because i'm not a romantic person and i don't know much about stuff like that. I tried to write as many characters as I could, I hope you like it dear <3
Sage
-Sage isn't used to this kind of thing and she would be quite surprised if you did, but she would be really happy if you did something for her.
-She may not be able to romanticize the way you do, but she tries to do things with you that she likes to do.
-You can have tea with Sage in the garden of the base, or she can take you to a nice place where you can have a picnic alone before sunset.
-Even though she doesn't like extravagance, she would be grateful to you for the effort you put into her.
Killjoy
-Killjoy is a very busy woman and she doesn't want to waste her time on this type of romance.
-Under normal circumstances, it's pretty easy to keep Killjoy happy. You just need to say a few nice words of encouragement and make frequent physical contact with her.
-She has enough time for little things like this anyway. If she has that much time, she would rather hug you and sleep. That's why she doesn't like big events and surprises.
-No matter what, even though she doesn't like what you do under normal circumstances, she tries to keep up with you as much as possible.
-She really doesn't want you to feel bad for doing something for her.
-"Oh, thanks for all of these thing sweetie but can't we just cuddle and sleep together? Sleeping with you is enough for me."
Viper
-She would openly tell you that she finds such things unnecessary.
-Although Viper is not as busy as other agents, she is a woman of simplicity. Instead of these romantic surprises you will do, she can spare time for something better.
-But she wouldn't have told you that in such a rude way, she cares about your feelings no matter what.
-"I don't like surprises like this, but thank you for your effort, dear. How about something to eat outside?"
-If you persistently ask her to look at everything you have prepared, she will fulfill your request, even if for an hour, because she cannot break you.
Reyna
-Reyna finds everything you prepare for her very cute.
-Reyna is a woman who likes luxury and she has a really unique stance. Usually, no one can predict how Reyna will react, so you thought you were actually taking a risk while making these plans.
-But Reyna didn't think so. No matter how much she disliked something, you were very precious for her. In order to make Reyna love something, it will be enough to do what you are trying to make her like. She finds your effort very cute.
-"Aww, thank you darling. You're really so sweet~"
Jett
-Jett doesn't quite know how to react to this kind of romantic stuff, but her eyes will sparkle if you make some good snacks for her.
-"Oh. My. God. These chocolates are legendary! How well my precious darling knows her girlfriend!"
-If you want to feed her yourself, she will eat from your hand without any objection.
-Even she might like it.
-She will definitely do something to make up for it. She will most likely try to put together everything you love in one day.
-Although she was embarrassed by your other romantic gestures, she would act as if she thanked you frequently during the day.
-"Thank you babe, you don't need to do all of these things for me."
Omen
-He could hardly react to your preparations, as he could hardly remember human feelings anymore.
-He tries to be as polite as possible, if he unintentionally says something hurtful, be sure he did it unconsciously.
-He would be very happy if you did something with the knitting techniques he taught you. Using something he happily shows you makes him emotional.
-He may not be able to figure out why some of the things you have prepared for him were made, but he will not say anything because he is afraid of misunderstanding and hurt you.
-Instead, he stares at that thing for a long time.
-When you tell him everything, he will be grateful to you for seeing him so valuable.
-"Thank you so much (Y/N) for treating me like I'm still a human being. My only fear is to lose a precious person like you."
Cypher
-He thinks that he is too old for such activities, but if you have worked for him, he will not let you down.
-He can only make annoying jokes sometimes but not the kind of jokes that will hurt you.
-While you show him everything excitedly, he listens to you smiling under his mask.
-He'd take off his hat and lay it on your head when you'd shown Cypher everything and then turned to see how he would react. He would take off his mask and kiss you passionately.
-"Thank you for everything darling. You're really very considerate of me."
Yoru
-Yoru finds most romantic things absurd. According to him, there are much better activities that you can do together.
-He may have a slightly negative reaction at first, but when he sees you are upset, he suppresses his own thoughts for a while and just listens to you.
-Even if he doesn't like these kinds of things, seeing your excitement makes him smile.
-"I think this kind of romantic stuff is unnecessary- I'M SORRY I DID NOT MEAN IT, IT'S ALL SO GOOD! God, you can be so scary when you want to."
-If you get angry with him, then he doesn't say a word and listens to you.
-He actually likes it secretly, he's just embarrassed.
Phoenix
-He would be abnormally happy. He would be very emotional because no one gave him such surprises.
-Because he loves surprises and likes to surprise his other friends.
-It doesn't matter what you do for him, just caring for him and preparing something is enough to make Phoenix happy.
-"My beautiful angel is the best lover in the world! I can't believe you're trying to do this much for me! This is all just for me, right? I won't share it with others, only you~"
KAY/O
-He couldn't understand why you did all these things.
-"I don't understand why you did all this. Is today a special day or something? If so, why didn't the other agents come?"
-You need to explain him why you do all of this. After you explain he try to understand this acts.
-"If I'm right, you do these things for me, right? And its name is affection or romance."
-After explaining everything to him, he would be quite surprised. He was a robot, he didn't understand why you were treating him the way people are treated. But deep down, he had a deep affection for you, and he was sure of it.
-So at least Killjoy told him it was true.
-It would be like Omen, but more curious about these things and more trying to learn. Only for you!
#valorant sage#killjoy valorant#jett valorant#valorant cypher#valorant omen#valorant headcanons#yoru valorant#valorant x reader#valorant#jett#yoru x reader#yoru#killjoy#sage#valorant kay/o#kay/o#valorant phoenix#valorant reyna#valorant viper#viper
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