If you feel blocked, stuck, repressed, scared (also of trusting and letting go, of feeling vulnerable but safe with others)... it may have something to do with the environment in which you grew up. Your caregiver/s was/is probably someone with anger issues, that used to get even more easily angered when things didn't follow a specific plan that pleased them (any sudden change in the stability or habitual life felt too much to bear with for them), or if they felt even barely sick. Someone who may have had also light confidence issues and other fears. And you, in order to not have them yell against you for no real reason or the slight annoyance, learned to stay silent, and just do your job. You almost became a shadow whenever you happened to understand it was a wrong day for them. You probably always tried to make things better and please them and others too. To save yourself from the pain of yelling and feeling wrong or being accused of all that was going on when you had no fault. You may have also been controlled a lot by them or someone else. And you never felt free to express yourself cause they always had to comment on you, your decisions, your acts, your behaviour. To point out all you did. To give you their unsolicited and at times also rude opinion. You may have also realized they used to lie around (about you too), gaslight or guilt trip you, not just in those occasions but in others as well, especially when the fault was theirs.

All this ofc has been playing in the back of your head, no matter how many good days you could experience. Take time to understand you have no fault, you have no guilt, you can do whatever you want to do and even if others comment or judge you, it's only how they got used to act and think, and are probably only projecting onto you. I hope you can find the strenght to forgive yourself cause you did all you could and you did amazing. And that you can remind yourself of your real worth and find your way out of this cage. You don't deserve to stay there.

I do want to talk about some things in regards to Infected Moons design in this post for the combined au of scrapped sun and infected moon.

Yes, there are some cracks along the sides of his heads. That wasn’t just an effect, those are actual cracks. 

Consider; Infected Moon is the result of all the bad parts of Moon being amplified. So he’s strict, emotionally aloof, and very physically threatening and dangerous as well as taking a certain amount of pleasure in pain. He’s also irritable from a lack of sleep. All of this results in him treating Sun terribly and he hurts him regularly. 

In this au, there is more then that. As it’s only been one year since his brother was decommissioned. So at the time he got infected in THIS scenario, he was already dealing with some problems. Sleeping problems, behavioral problems, and immense lonliness and emotional instability that requires a lot of support and attention from the others to manage as he wasn’t meant to function alone. It was being handled, but it was still THERE, just less to. That, too, was intensified when he got infected, to the point where it basically fucked ALL of the progress he made. So now he’s MORE emotionally unstable, still insanely controlling and threatening, and ridiculously strict, with the added effect that he doesn’t have anyway to let out his controlling and violent nature. Suns gone, and after he got infected the daycare closed.

Which is where the cracks came in; He did that to himself. There are far more marks on him then just those aswell, though they are hidden mostly by the cloak. It’s basically his normal mild sadism amplified to hell and back. Again, it’s not something he does for that kind of pleasure. When I say sadism, I mean that he causes harm to himself because it’s the only thing he has CONTROL over. The daycare, and his own pain are the only two things he has control over, and since the daycare is closed he doesn’t have a need to stay in decent condition as long as he can still operate.

Scrapped Sun obviously has no idea of this, being blind, but you bet that when he finally collects enough parts to repair Suns eyes he is going to immediately fuss on him about it (I may draw something with this, because ehfbehbfe it’s just that kind of dark humor I thrive for. Sun being immediately worried and Moon just like “Oh right I forgot that finding new eyes means you can tell what I look like-”

“YOU ARE DOING NOTHING”

Beto O’Rourke snapped at Abbott’s press conference today, was called a “sick son of a bitch”, and was then escorted out while audience begged “let him speak”.

“This one is on us,” Beto says, speaking about the Uvalde shooting. “Now is the time to stop the next shooting. Right after Santa Fe High School was the time to stop the next shooting. Right after El Paso was the time to stop the next shooting. Right after Midland-Odessa was the time to stop the next shooting. In each case we say this isn’t the time. Now is the time!”

He’s right.

I think the thing that's easy to forget about Arlecchino is that she is not the original Arlecchino. The one that set up the House of the Hearth, the one that greatly abused its members, the one that lied to Freminet about his mother, the one that brainwashed the members to be willing to give their lives for their family was the original Arlecchino, not the current Arlecchino. The current Arlecchino was previously a child raised by the House of the Hearth that succeeded the original Arlecchino through some kind of "serious clash."

The original Arlecchino was painted to be a very cruel person. She'd would greatly punish members that did not succeed in their missions. She lied to Freminet that his mother abandoned him, then used his mother's well being as a way to threaten Freminet into obeying. Going off of one of her subordinates actions, she would've been fine with the creation of orphans if that met taking them in to become later members of the Fatui.

When the current Arlecchino got into power, she changed many things. Where the previous Arlecchino wanted them to give up their lives for the family, the current told them that they must value their lives. Every single one of them was important. Where the previous Arlecchino would punish members for failing missions, the current does not do so, but chooses to give missions suitable to the person.

What I find really interesting about the current Arlecchino is that she is not without morals. When Lyney asks to receive a delusion to help his sister, though she does not react outwardly, her eyes were described to be full of "wrath." She then shows a startling amount of emotional intelligence and asks if that is what Lynette would want. When it comes to Freminet, not only was she furious upon learning he was cruelly lied to regarding his mother, what I'm shocked is she knew about his mother in the first place. She knew what his mother looked like. Freminet entered the House of the Hearth before she became Arlecchino, but she still knew. If you want to look deeper into this, this implies that she purposefully looked into his past and sought out his mother for him.

People may say she's acting. People may say she is acting "nice" to groom the sibings her way, but anger is not something easily faked. Those seemed to be genuine reactions. I do not think that was a lie. However, I'm not saying that she's not lying or manipulative either.

What the most important thing to keep in mind about all of this is what Wanderer and Childe have to say about her. They both fully state that she is insane. She has no problems betraying people. She seeks to control others. She is insane. No ifs, ands, or buts.

I'm just really curious to see how Genshin will reconcile this conflicting information about her.

((check the tags for more of an analysis on her that goes a bit deeper))

It starts small, inconsequential really. But Roy, he knows the signs, this isn't his first rodeo, as Ted would say. That thought makes him curse beneath his breath. Sounds like something fucking Lasso would say. It makes Roy's blood boil a little. He hates that the fucking cowboy coach has gotten into his head. But the point is, Roy notices. It's small but its there. Roy notices the way Jamie tips back the protein shaker, as he stands in the locker room laughing with the boys, but the liquid inside doesn't actually seem to go down. He notices the way Jamie's hands sometimes tremble as he picks up his water bottle in the gym. Having pushed himself harder then any of the rest of them. He notices the way Jamie jots down notes in a little pocket notebook at lunch. Roy doesn't see what's in it, but he'd bet his championship trophy its that stats of whatever Jamie's eating at lunch. Its not new. Everyone has macros to track, protein goals to reach. Carefully controlled carb intakes, but there's a darkness to Jamie's eyes as he scribbles hastily in his little notebook. Roy knows that look, and a part of him wants to look away, pretend he didn't see it, pretend he doesn't know the signs for what they are. He looks around the room, everyone is eating and laughing, they don't see what Roy is seeing. Most of them barely even spare Jamie a glance. Fuck. Fucking fuckity fuck it. It has to be Roy, it can't be anyone fucking else.

I think another aspect of conservative thought people need to understand is the idea that it's all about dominance.

The reason why sayings like "we don't want to trans your kids, we want trans kids to live" is because, in the conservative mind, you are replacing their dominance with your own. It can never be about what is best for others, it is always about expressing absolute power and control.

Natural selection, at its ideal, will weed out the people who "shouldn't live." If their existence is a threat to the already-established hierarchy, then it's obvious that they shouldn't exist in order to challenge hierarchy.

While this certainly isn't a "conservative-only" mindset, it's a trend I have noticed more in conservative spaces. This is why I don't always think it's helpful to go on about how, "Oh, we don't want to threaten your worldview. We just want people to live 😊". You will fundamentally be threatening their power in their minds. Therefore, nothing you say can truly take away from the anxiety, fear, and anger at losing control that may be instilled.

I can't be obnoxious about this to people I know irl so I just want to say I've finally successfully lost 10 pounds :3

I just want to tell someone

Thinking about how there’s no way the calamity trio left amphibia without some form of disordered eating/full blown eating disorders

A prey that wants nothing more than to be a satisfying and relaxing meal to their pred, someone who they’ve wanted to be eaten by for so long, and who just so desperately wants to be a good meal for. 

But they end up giving the pred a terrible stomach ache that lasts all through the night. Their belly churns and struggles with the prey for no reason except chance really. It just happened that the pred had some kind of allergy or intolerance, or some other issue. 

Alternatively, a prey who doesn’t want to be eaten by the pred, because they find the pred annoying and they hate them. When they are eaten they are determined to give their pred indigestion, and make the experience as awful as possible. However, of course the opposite happens. Despite their struggles, this prey is the most enjoyable and wholesome meal that the pred has ever eaten and will ever eat. 

Despite the intentions of the prey, they are digested easily and contentedly. 

one a problem may give you frustration or anger cause you can't solve it or have no control over it (and that's okay, we cannot control everything: that's not our duty, even if we were probably "taught" so in our childhood; and it's also okay to feel angry or frustrated too). but what many do to "free themselves" from the excess of energy accumulated (basically to cope with it cause they are emotionally immature and weren't given the keys to control/welcome their emotions -especially negative ones as they were taught these aren't right- and work on their triggers) is to throw frustration and anger over any other small annoyance or "wrongness" they come around (people included).

what I want to say is, especially when there are anger issues or unresolved problems: it's often very likely that people are not reacting to the real trigger, but to a similar one which they feel "okay/safer" to throw themselves at. basically: the addition of this unpredictable/sudden annoyance's energy (that seems even bigger than what it is) to the already triggered and stressed mind/body's energy imbalance, feels unbearable and uncontrollable: they basically cannot block the energy's excess anymore and since they haven't processed the original problem correctly, they react to the "wrong"/smaller negative thing by making it bigger and also bringing it different consequences especially if there are other people involved (e.g. child growing up with parents having anger issues: parents may feel more "at ease" overreacting to anything their kid does also cause they are in an "higher position" compared to their child. I mean, they cannot overreact with their boss, for example. -beware: not saying it's right, AT ALL. cause it's not. plus, children do not have the emotional knowledge to understand their parents' problem/overreaction is unrelated with them... not even most adults have it, how may they. how may had you. forgive yourself, please: try to stop carrying around all this anger and pain, it's not gonna help you in any way).

drdttober day eighteen - illusions

stockholm syndrome au!techno must be on the clouds now like he finally has cdream's heart and the dependecy that comes with it

He's actually happier than he thought he'd be! It's what he's been working towards for months, yk?

More under cut :P

Obviously there's still some steps he wants to take, a kiss is just the beginning of his great ambitions, hehe. But, that little peck really takes him by surprise. He gets a surge of like, almost genuine emotion? It's elation, certainly, but also this wave of warmth in his chest that he hasn't ever really felt before.

C!Phil is his best friend, the only person he's ever truly cared about. He genuinely fears for his safety and respects his opinion a lot, which is why he caves pretty quick to the guy when Phil presses him on what he's doing. This is the only connection he can use as a comparison, and in all his life no one has even come close to it.

Yet, here he is, holding and kissing this guy who at first was just someone he saw as an equal on the battlefield and that he got a kick out of making fun of him, now someone that has Techno jumping through all these elaborate hoops and making meticulous plans just to keep him a secret away from everyone else. He thinks if Phil was ever in danger and needed to be hidden away for whatever reason, he'd do much of the same things he is now.

It took centuries for him to establish that level of connection and respect for Phil. C!Dream wormed his way into Techno's heart in less than a year.

i just vented to my mental help ai and i wanna say it again here

the app is called Pi if anyone cares. it's pretty decent if you ask me and you can also play games with it, my favourite game is "guess 5 things" lol

Savory small portion meals

1. Rice with sauce and spring onions

2. Hotdog rice waffles

3. Rice waffles with tuna and cucumber bites

4. Chicken, cucumber and Pepsi max mango

All photos from my old account

🌹🌻🌹

Thank you! Fun fact sunflowers are my favourite! I have for you another snippet of We're all waving flags which is currently living in my brain rent free Roy can see the moment Jamie’s cocky little prick persona falls off his face. Jamie goes pale and suddenly looks quite ill, after a beat the usual scowl quickly comes back over the young mans face. But its too late, there’s no taking back the look of pure exhaustion that Roy had seen and suddenly he feels like an idiot for never seeing how put on the little prick act was before.

ok my HC is dee has trich. she like 100% has trich. and it started out as the kind where u like eat the hair too so as a kid she gets a hairball in her stomach and dennis NEVERRRR lets her live it down and so she starts pulling in more discreet places and like tweezing her leg hair off instead of just shaving it….. yeah