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#emotional growth
slayingfiction · 1 year
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Feelings Wheel
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This is the feelings wheel by Geoffrey Roberts, shown to me by my therapist. My initial thought was, "what amazing synonyms to use for diverse emotional vocabulary!"
More than that, this wheel is great for understanding your characters inner motivations and reactions to situations. For example, if a character constantly feels helpless, then their overarching characteristics will be that they are fearful.
Characters who are less emotionally aware may use words and act in the inner most circle. Those much more aware of their emotions may describe themselves or express and use words from the outer most circle.
Hopefully you guys find this as helpful as I did! Let me know down in the comments.
Happy Writing!
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loveyourlovelysoul · 8 months
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The fact that you fear not being enough, not being able to get what you want, not feeling able to get where you want, that you feel so insecure about yourself is probably not just related with your childhood but also with past friendships or any other type of relationship that didn't end well or in which you weren't treated correctly. You were probably left out from group activities and jokes or not invited to places; you were made to believe you were very important but at the same time you were kept hidden and later you were left alone and forgotten as something of not great value; you were probably easily judged as uninterested because of your decisions or behaviours without asking for further reasons...
I know all these experiences (and many more than these ofc) hit you deep and now are rooted inside of you as a confirmation of your unworthiness and unlovability but it was not your fault. Or at least not just because of your decisions or behaviour (of which not everyone has the empathy to understand or even guess/imagine the reasons, if you don't talk about it): in relationships there are always at least two people involved. And when one of them moves away or leaves you out of their life without asking for or giving an explanation, it's a relationship that is already crumbling (and it's best if it ended this way, even if it pains you because you felt guilty about it). When there's not communication nor interest in the other and in their feelings, despite how strong and indipendent they may look, despite how far they may have moved, a relationship is already ended.
It's not about your worth or lovability, which you possess just because you're alive. It's just about people's decisions, it's about lives taking different turns, it's about the fact that some relationships just need to end or evolve into something different that is not a deep friendship anymore (if you both agree ofc). It's about people growing and changing, and following their own path. Keep going on onto yours so to find new friends and even lovers if you want (cause you will anyway: life is made of cycles, as you had friends in the past, you'll have friends in the future; as you didn't have good friends in the past you will have good friends in the future. It's all about you, you can change your life at any given minute. Take your time to understand your emotions and process them but then let the past go, heal and move on to something new -and even better, seen how you were treated).
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wedarkacademia · 1 year
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catgirl-kaiju · 1 year
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I think accepting that I am, in fact, foolish and gullible a lot of the time is actually integral to cultivating critical thinking skills and correcting mistakes I've made. The people that see themselves as the smartest person in the room are the people that refuse to see opportunities for improvement within themselves and thus develop a resistance to learning. Like, you can't grow from foolishness if you refuse to acknowledge it.
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tatersgonnatate · 1 year
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A worthwhile reminder 💚
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Source: Dr. Glenn Doyle
Never thought about it like this. But that's really the truth. I need to start paying closer attention to myself and the situations I find myself in.
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Big day of growth yesterday. On to another one today. Happy Sunday y'all!!!!! So many lessons I know and have even advised to others, but have rarely practiced on my own.
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mystical-growth · 9 months
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Ahh~ good grief ^^; sorry for just dumping that on everyone. I’m still awfully embarrassed about this whole awkward situation. I do realize that you didn’t follow me to read about my problems or care for my feelings and I feel extremely stupid for venting on here. I mean, you all probably think differently about me now and I regrettably can’t change that. But a few of you left some of the most caring, sweetest and understanding messages that I’m glad I shared ^^ I was honestly so worried that I ruined this blog and you all helped reassure me past this emotional bump. So really, thank you all so much for everything.
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How to deal with difficult people
Difficult people are demanding. The insecurities and fear that they carry with them has manifested into continuous negativity. They don’t take responsibility for their actions, for their own spiritual and emotional development but expect peace, joy, and harmony to come into their lives. Their inability to handle themselves causes them to feel frustrated when they don't get what they want. They project their negativity outwards.
We all have encounters with people who prefer to stay miserable, making everything difficult. They exist. There was a time in my past when I was one of those negative people. Perhaps I still can be at times.
Be still and ground yourself before engaging with them. 
Their negative energy engulfs your being and sweeps you into their toxic whirlpool. If you are not grounded, you may find yourselves arguing or stomping out of the room.
2. Look them directly in the eyes.
Looking someone directly in his or her eyes dispels darkness and in your acknowledgement of their fear and insecurity, you are sending light into their darkness. Your light brings them light.
3. Listen without taking things personally
When a person is being difficult, it is because they are responding to their perceived reality rather than what is going on in the moment. Oftentimes their projected frustrations has very little to do with us.
4. Choose your battle.
Some people are extremely closed-minded and impossible to talk to. Don’t force the issue of any situation you're in with someone who can’t hear you in the moment. It can sometimes escalate the situation. Sometimes the best form of communication is to acknowledge what is being said and walk away.
These takes practice are not easy. We just do what we can.
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maeve-le-fay · 6 days
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Ever get so high you pour out an entire load-bearing neurosis to your spouses in a healthy way, and they accept it, are proud of you for it, and nobody was hurt after?
Let’s give it up for Veteran’s Choice Creations, folks!
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ghost-of-libitina · 6 months
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I have been a million people in my lifetime. I don’t know how it’s possible to hate and love all these versions simultaneously.
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divineeunoia · 10 months
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“I’m not sure what I did right in my life to deserve your love, but I’ll stop at nothing to protect it. I’ll work every damn day to make sure you always have a reason to smile, even if it means sharing them with the rest of the world. And I’ll ruin anyone who threatens your happiness.”
A lot of people hate on this book on booktok, but for me it was a really good read. The way Rowan changed from a heartless, fearful person to a man who gives his heart to a woman is remarkable. His growth is why I loved this book so much.
As Lauren said: this is for the girls who dream of meeting the prince but end up falling for a misunderstood villain.
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loveyourlovelysoul · 9 months
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We miss people and emotions/feelings that we experienced in the past, but we're going towards the future and this can sound sad cause we probably won't be able to experience those things/people anymore. This though doesn't have to be exactly true: we can experience similar emotions/feelings and people, that may be more in tune with our new self (the one that changed with time as well, as seasons, people and emotions). So it's probably better just let go of what doesn't belong to us anymore, even if we're not that aware of that. We will when new emotions will hit us suddenly.
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heymariesue · 28 days
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One day her heart will stop mentioning you.
- R.H. Sin
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chrysoula · 2 months
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Classroom of the Elite
(Note: I have read up to Y2v6 (I'll probably read v7 tomorrow once my housemate finishes it) as well as a summary of the Y0 bonus book.) I really like this series. I think the author is skilled, intelligent and literate. I also think he's writing way above the level of his primary readerbase. Or at least, that's the conclusion I am drawing from going through the subreddit. Maybe it's just reddit, though. Why do I like it so much? I have friends who bounced hard off it because the narrator is such an overpowered isekai protagonist (although it's only an isekai metaphorically). He's pretty much superhuman in most ways. But that's never been the sort of thing to drive me off, as long as there's more going on than a power fantasy. I watched episode 4 of Solo Leveling yesterday and it bored me to tears. I kept comparing it to early Danmachi and early Kumo Desu, both of which had me deeply invested in their boss fights. And this is because Kumoko was being clever and fighting above her weight class (and got the shit kicked out of her). And Bell, while a lot less clever, had emotional growth worked into his minotaur fights just like a proper shonen protagonist. Meanwhile the protagonist of Solo Leveling started out interesting and sympathetic and clever but could not make me give a shit about his totally optional battle with a giant snake.
Ayanokoji Kiyotaka is OP by any measure. But that's the point of the story. He starts out OP, and also 'defective'. He's not a hero. I'm not even sure he's a protagonist. He seems to see himself as the antagonist; he's training Horikita and her class up to be the protagonists. He's clever and manipulative and impossibly badass physically, and his personal development over time is obscured by being an unreliable narrator, but there are bits and pieces that add up over the 20+ volumes I've read that make him just as fascinating a character as the students he's helping 'grow'. One of my enduring interests is exploring how human nature works, and from the beginning that's been the point of the story. Kiyotaka has repeatedly referred to the paradox of his goals at the school. He wants something he doesn't entirely believe he can get, and he's striving for it as hard as he can. It's just that his goal isn't 'saving his sister' or 'defeating the demon lord' or whatever, it's 'being defeated in such a way as to prove his father wrong'. That's really compelling to me! Especially when combined with his own character growth. Over on reddit, people say things like, "Why would Ayanogod lie to the readers, that'd be lying to himself, people can't lie to themselves..." which, I mean, that's a very... young point of view. Which is why I'm ranting to the void here rather than trying to find thoughtful discussion there...
What I've been noticing a couple times in the last few books is Ayanokoji noting that he doesn't have the social skills of the far more socially deft students _right now_. Because he didn't construct a socially deft persona; he constructed an Ordinary High School Dweeb persona. The obvious implication is that he _could_ be anybody he wants, with some prep time. He might not start out good at it--he has never been good at emoting even when he seems to think he is--but he'll keep learning until he is. This isn't interesting to me because 'oooh ayanogod is so cool' but because it suggests his own sense of identity is pretty flimsy. And the edges and fragments where he's slowly developing an identity are just... peak coming of age story, and his particular degree of OPness is just... keeping things interesting. In y2v6 I noticed his interactions with Mii-chan a lot. At one point, when Mii-chan doesn't need any more than a slight push to work through all her issues (and this is without heavy interference from Ayanokoji). He describes her as a 'almost a fully complete person'. I think Kiyotaka (yes, also Ayanokoji, I switch between his names by vibe) would be the first to admit that he's a deeply flawed and incomplete person as he is. And that's great! That's awesome! That is what I want to see as an enjoyer of OP characters. Being able to punch out Cthulhu isn't the be-all and end-all of personhood! (I am also a fan of Nobilis and Reinhard van Astrea.) I have no destination with this post. I just wanted to babble. If you came here via the tag and find what I have to say interesting, let me know and I'll say more of it!
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turiyatitta · 3 months
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The Constant Love in an Impermanent World
In the ever-shifting tapestry of life, there lies a profound paradox: a love that never changes, yet changes all things. This notion invites us to ponder the intricate dance between the permanent and the impermanent, the constant and the transient.At its core, this concept suggests that there is a form of love – deep, enduring, and unyielding – that remains steadfast amidst the ceaseless flow of…
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