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whore-ibly-hot · 11 months

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Yan!Bully x Gn!Reader x Yan!Loser

'Art-Project'

18+ Minors DNI

Warnings: Bullying, name calling, degradation, violence, mentions of non-consensual photos, nonconsensual touching, male pronouns for the yans, mentions of school, general perversion, toxic behaviors, creep behavior.

(AN: Had a fun time with this one, really enjoyed toying with the dynamic between this two. I think I'll probably make a part two with these trainwrecks in the future)

Part 2 here

The crashing of books and pens falling on the tile floor rings out through the boy's bathroom, as a young, dark-haired boy is thrown harshly onto the cold multi-colored tile. The boy lets out a cry as he hits the ground, and he scrambles away upon impact, pressing his back up against the wall as he looks up at his assaulter.

"F-fuck off, Patrick!" Ahmed exclaims, his frightened eyes never leaving the predatory gaze of the bully who stands over him. Ahmed's free hand wanders around the bathroom floor, grasping blindly to try and find his book bag. Ahmed's accent only becomes more prominent, as his voice shakes and cracks. "Fuck did you say to me, you little shit?" Patrick grabs the boy by his collar, yanking him up from the ground and sneering at him. Ahmed gulps when he feels Patricks breath tickle his neck, making him tremble. "I-I didn't, didn't mean it, c'mon. I was just shocked when you threw me on the floor, it just slipped out." Patrick rolls his eyes, and as he does, his gaze falls on Ahmed's bright red backpack, laying open on the floor. Patrick notices how Ahmed's eyes widen when Patrick looks at it, causing Patrick to raise an eyebrow.

"What's in the bag, freak?" Patrick whispers, and before the sentence has even fully left his lips, Ahmed is fiercely shaking his head. "Nothing, nothing! Just work, please-" He hits the floor again, and he's sure tomorrow he'll be bruised from the rough treatment. "Pick it up." Ahmed looks up. "What?" "C'mon, pick it up. You're all freaked out, freak... I wanna know why, so I'm gonna tell you one more time." Patrick crouches down, and nods in the direction of the cloth schoolbag. "Pick. It. Up." He pauses after each word, relishing the fear in Ahmed's eyes.

Since Ahmed transferred to Morrisville high, Patrick had made his life a living hell. Not that he wasn't already unpopular at his old school, but people at least tried to avoid him there. People did here at first, before Patrick set his sights on Ahmed. Patrick wasn't sure what drew him to the scrawny, quiet boy. Possibly the way everyone avoided him, or maybe it was how little everyone knew about the new kid. Most likely, it was the knowledge that no matter what he did to the boy, or what he made him do, no-one was going to stand up for the boy. Patrick picked on everybody, but god, Ahmed became his favorite. The way he'd squirm, and cry. The way he was able to convince the other kids at the school to pick on the lonely boy. Things only got worse when Patrick found out that everyone at Ahmed's old school thought he was a freak too. Suddenly, shoulder-checks in the hallway became full-on beatings, stolen homework became shoes and clothes being taken from Ahmed's locker, or even right off the poor boy. Patrick never hesitated to remind Ahmed that even if he reported him, or got away from this school, that he'd still be a freak, no matter where he went.

Ahmed's sobs snap Patrick out of his reveling, as the scrawny boy crawls over to the bag, his hands shaking as he tries to grip the red canvas of the backpack. Patrick huffs, but before he can open up the backpack and take a look, he hears footsteps outside the bathroom, coming from down the hall. "Get in the fuckin' stall, go." Patrick growls, pointy sharply at the large handicapped stall at the other end of the bathroom. Patrick steps outside of the bathroom, and Ahmed can hear Patrick greeting whoever is outside. A friend of Patrick's probably. Another member of his little delinquent gang. Ahmed shuts the lid of the toilet and sinks down to sit on the lid, afraid his knees may give out. The sound of heavy boots approaches, and Patrick fingers slid around the stall door, pulling it open as he slips into the stall, locking it behind him. Ahmed tries to steady his breathing.

"Alright, open it up. C'mon." Patrick nods in Ahmed's direction. Shaking hands pull out textbooks, pens, pencils, even the leftovers from Ahmed's lunch. The objects clatter to the floor, scattering across the bottom of the stall. "See, nothing in here, just my school stuff." Ahmed's trembling hands extend the now empty bag to Patrick, presenting it almost proudly. "What... there's no fucking way." Patrick huffs. He begins to dig through the objects, kicking away the writing utensils as he grasps at the textbooks. He flips through each of the pages, trying to find anything incriminating. His frown only deepens as he finds nothing. He's about to give up, as he reaches for a blue folder labeled 'Math'. When he does, Ahmed lets out an involuntary whimper, causing Patrick to freeze. A sick grin spreads across the blonde's face, as he slowly pivots his head to look at Ahmed.

"There we go, somethin' in here you don't want me seeing?" He asks. Ahmed nods, tears cascading down his cheeks. "Alright, I'll tell you what, freak..." Patrick stands straight up, leaning up against the wall behind him. "Tell me what's in the folder, and I won't even look, okay? Just get it off your chest, I'm open-minded." Patrick purrs at the boy, watching his resolve crack in real-time.

"It's-" Ahmed goes quiet towards the end, his words so soft Patrick can't hear. "What was that? You gotta speak up." He sighs. "Or, I guess I could just look-" He moves to flip open the folder with the edge of his boot, causing Ahmed to jolt forward. "N-no!" The boy yells, thrusting his hands out in front of him. Patrick scoffs, tossing his head back for a moment as he laughs, clutching at his stomach. "Jesus, Ahmed, what the hell is in here that's got you so spooked?" Patrick asks. Ahmed shivers. Somehow Patrick using his real name is worse than him calling him 'freak'. It feels more personal.

"It's nudes... nude photographs." Ahmed whimpers, a blush of shame spreading across his cheeks as his gaze falls to the floor. "Oh- yours?" Patrick asks. Ahmed doesn't respond, causing Patrick's brows to furrow, an amused and pleasantly surprised expression coming onto his face. "Not yours, huh." Patrick glances down at the folder. "Who the hell's been giving you pussy, freak? Who's been letting you take those pics?" He asks. Ahmed's hands are tense, gripping the fabric covering his knees so hard that he worries they might tear.

"I- they didn't, alright?" Ahmed cries, curling his knees up to his chest and burying his face in shame. "They didn't-" Patrick takes a moment to process this information. His eyes light up in realization. "You really are a little pervert, huh? I knew something was off about you." He puts his hand on his knees, leaning over so he can make eye contact with Ahmed's curled up form. "A sick little pervert. You get off on those photos?" Ahmed whines. "Some poor kid at this school doesn't know that the school freak strokes it every night to a picture of them... poor them." Patrick leans down and picks up the folder.

"Wait, w-what are you doing, you said you wouldn't look if I told you the truth about what was in there?" Ahmed coughs, almost full on hyper-ventilating at this point, eyes wide in panic. Patrick nods, keeping eye contact with Ahmed as he flips open the folder. "True, but..." He shakes his head, his blonde locks falling from his loose ponytail. "How do I know you're telling me the truth about what's in here if I don't look?" Ahmed scoffs. "Why would I lie about having a folder of some creep-shots?" Patrick shrugs. "I don't know, maybe something like that doesn't seem that serious to you, y'know, because you're a pervert." He suggests. Patrick sticks his tongue teasingly out at Ahmed, before looking down at the gritty Polaroids nestled behind some math notes.

The photos are taken from all sorts of places. The ones at the front are simple upskirts from behind, the subjects face not visible. As Patrick examines more of them, he notices they seem to get more invasive. The final photograph was clearly shot at night, a bedroom window visible. The subject of the photo lies nude, and Patrick's face falls when he sees the face. He looks up at Ahmed, his breath halted. "They... they are cute, huh?" Ahmed looks up from his knees, confused. "You know them?" Ahmed swallows harshly, then nods. "Sort of... we have English together." As Ahmed explains the nature of his relationship to you, Patrick flips through the photos once more. Now that he knows these photos are of you, they have an even greater allure. "Hmm, I have lunch period with them, gym too..." He muses. "Heh, you should see em' in those little gym shorts, shit..." Ahmed isn't sure where this is going, but Patrick's calm tone and hyper-focused expression stress him out even more than when Patrick is outwardly aggressive. At least then he's predictable. Right now, Ahmed is in new territory with his tormentor.

Patrick sighs, and tucks the photos back into Ahmed's folder. He smacks the folder into the center of Ahmed's chest, making him let out a grunt as his trembling hands grip the blue plastic. "Listen, freak." He whispers. He places a hand on the wall behind Ahmed, allowing him to move his face right up in front of the boys. Brown eyes look back at him with fear. "Nobody has to know about all this. I'm still gonna kick your ass, but nobody has to know about your..." He thinks. "Let's call it 'extracurricular art project', okay?" Ahmed, gulps, and asks. "What do you want in return, I know the way you are." Patrick chuckles. "You're pretty smart, huh? Alright, I'll tell ya. Get me some of those photos, some new ones. And copy that last one, that shot into their room." He says. "Why, y-you like them too?" Ahmed whimpers. Patrick shrugs. "I know they've got a sweet little body, and I wouldn't mind a closer look at it, that's all." Ahmed considers this. If he doesn't agree, who knows what Patrick would tell everyone. God, Ahmed might even have to change schools again, and if he did, he couldn't be near you. He shakes his head. He won't let that happen.

"Alright, you got it. I- I think I can get them to you by friday." Ahmed offers, and Patrick nods. Ahmed moves to stand, but Patrick pushes him back. "One more thing, freak." He whispers. Ahmed bites his lips in fear. Patrick slips his hand from the boy's shoulder, down past his waist, and to the front of his victims school shorts. He roughly palms Ahmed's limp cock through his pants, making the boy choke on his own spit in shock. Patrick sighs softly at his reaction, leaning in to whisper into his ear.

"Snap me a pic of yourself too, freak..."

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guardarecheluna · 5 months

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I'd do anything for smiles, i'd move heaven and earth.

Authors note: Hiiii! Uhh, so this turned-out way more angsty and emotional than I planned, which is probably what happened when I just go with the flow and write instead of trying to plan it all out beforehand. But I really enjoyed writing this piece, so let me know your thoughts! Love, Elle x.

Word count: ca 4k words

Warnings: Angst, fluff, talk about babies and pregnancy

Summary: Harry wants a family with Y/N, actually, he wants nothing else. Y/N isn’t so sure about the whole baby thing, until everything changes.

Y/N never wanted to be a mother. She was mother enough to her siblings growing up, and she knew; if there was ever a want to have a child, it would be an already existing child who needed a home.

Harry on the other hand always knew that it was his calling to be a father. He had this constant baby fever, always agreeing to babysit his friend’s children and tending to their little ones. No wonder he had an abundance of godsons and goddaughters at the ripe age of 26.

He also knew he wanted children with Y/N, almost the minute he caught her eyes at that birthdayparty, but 3 months into their relationship, they still hadn’t talked about if there was a possibility of children in the future.

Y/N had grown up being told that having children was the ultimate goal in life. She’d been told stories about how rewarding it was, how much love you got to give and receive, and how all the newborn sleepless nights was going to be worth it. She always smiled at the comments, knowing she’d never feel that way.

Her mother always told her that she had been the same when she was younger, but then when she had met Y/N and her siblings father, she just wanted to give him a baby. Almost like her biology and nature was playing a bigger part than her conscious. Her mother had told her that Y/N was going to know when she’d met the right man, that she would know that she loved him, because she would want to give him a child that was half her and half him, but Y/N doesn’t think she’s ever heard anything more ridiculous in her life.

Don’t get Y/N wrong, she loved children, and they loved her just as much, it was just that she couldn’t picture her life surrounded by another tiny human being. Taking care of them constantly, them always needing her in one way or another, hovering ang clinging on to her. Y/N was out of breath just listening to people talk about children.

3 months into Harry and Y/N’s relationship

Harry had agreed to babysit Scout; Sarah and Mitch’s baby. Just for a few hours while they got some things done that would be at least 10 times more difficult with a needy baby around. Scout isn’t a baby really, at 13 months old, but Harry would never admit that fact to anyone.

Harry was on the carpet of his own apartment, laying on his stomach, looking at Scout who was currently stacking cubes to make a tall tower. Harry had absolute hearts in his eyes for this baby. Looking at the small blonde boy, Harry released a sigh he had been holding when Scouts tower of blocks finally held up and was steady enough not to fall over. “Look at you, Scout! Your tower is so tall!” Harry exclaimed, impressed at his godson’s work, and expecting Scout to push the tower over, and starting his project once again. Instead, Scout looked up with his bright blue eyes and walked over to Harry, who was now sitting up. Scout threw himself right in Harry’s arms, giggling and babbling something to him with his teethy grin.

Harry felt like he could cry. Melt into a little puddle on the living room floor, just a wet spot in the carpet for Y/N to mop up when she got home. “You’re too good to me” Harry said once again when Scout regained his balance and started over with his blocks again.

Harry placed his large hand over the baby’s back, strong him gently to let him know that he was still behind him. Scout had blonde little locks ending just at the nape of his neck, and a stylish little outfit on, he looked almost like a little old man. Harry curiously continued watching Scout playing, reacting to his towers and stacking, now and then running his hand trough Scout’s blond locks. Yeah, he could get used to this.

Y/N’s footsteps were heavy, coming through up the stairs to Harry’s house, and in over the doorstep. Her shoulder was aching with her massive tote bag carrying around everything she could possibly need for a workday – she just wanted to cuddle up at home, with Harry.

She heard giggles from the lounge as she took of her shoes. Simultaneously smiling and being slightly annoyed at the unwelcome guest, she was just so tired.

She walked through the hall until she arrived at the lounge. Two messy looking boys looked up at her in surprise, seeming very invested In building some kind of tower with building blocks.

“Hi my darlings!” Y/N put a smile on. She really couldn’t stay annoyed with Scout in the room, he just had this incredible vibe to him, it was impossible not to get in a good mood around him. “What a lovely surprise to come home to.” Y/N continues, settling down next to Scout and Harry. Although, just by looking at Harry, Y/N knew he was in baby-mode. A constant smile on his pink lips, eyes barely leaving Scout for a second.

Scout was happy to see Y/N, leaving his blocks for a minute to get some cuddles in from one of his favourites. Harry also leaned in for a kiss, smile still on his lips, putting his arms around them both and nuzzling baby Scout’s forehead with his own. Yeah, he was going to get used to this.

Later that evening, full of homemade pasta and wine, Harry and Y/N cuddled up on their sofa, Scout having left with his parents hours ago. Harry had waved him off and was throwing kisses to him as Mitch walked out with Scout in his arms.

“What’s with you, today?” Y/N whispered softly to Harry, lips ghosting over his jaw, leaving wet kisses along the stubble. Harry’s cheeks instantly flushed, feeling a word vomit consisting of love, babies and the future coming up his throat. He thought about babies way too often, and of course, he was still young and had many years to plan his family, however, when he looked at Scout and Y/N cuddling earlier in the afternoon, he knew he had to let it spill out how much he wanted a baby at some point.

“I just…” Harry trailed off, looking at the ceiling to try and calm his beating heart, knowing that with Y/N’s soft kisses on his jaw, it was going to be impossible. He continued, “Seeing you and Scout cuddling and playing today was just…you’re it for me. And I can’t fucking wait until we have one of our own. A little mix of you and me, I can’t imagine a more perfect thing even If I tried.” Y/N felt her blood run cold at his comment. He had taken for granted that they were going to have children one day, and she was going to have to break his heart with what she was going to say next. She felt cruel, also aware of how many women on this earth who would kill to have Harry say that to them.

She had been quiet for far too long now, frozen up in Harry’s tight embrace. She realized that it was no use for her to say anything else but the truth.

“Harry, we haven’t even spoken about having children. I…I’m not sure I want that for our future.” She spoke gently, knowing that this may break his heart into microscopic pieces, his feelings for her turning to absolute dust and flying off to an unknown destination.

It was Harry’s turn to freeze up. He could feel tears burn in his eyes, jaw aching at those simple words. She didn’t want to have a baby. She didn’t want to have a baby with him. Harry truly couldn’t imagine a worse scenario for himself. He had found the love of his life, but she didn’t want children. Harry knew better at this point in his life than to just keep it to himself. Bottle up his needs and feelings and bury then deep, deep underground. But right know, in this situation, he didn’t know what to do besides breathing deep and calming his becoming tears. “Dove, I, what do you mean you don’t want it? Not right now or not ever? C-cause I didn’t mean right now, I just-“. He babbled out, eyes still focused on the ceiling, knowing that if he looked at her, he’d break into pieces.

He awaited her answer with a sweat forming on his brow, hands clammy as they tried to hold on to her as well as he could, but metaphorically, he could feel her slip away from him already. “Not right now. And probably not at all.”

The tears he had held onto fell.

1 year later

Harry really hadn’t expected to become so emotional about their conversation from a year ago, he blamed it on his emotions running high from when he babysat Scout earlier that day.

Harry didn’t let Y/N see his tears that night, everything was still new between them, and after that night, they had both agreed that they would talk about it another day.

But the thing is, the thought of Y/N never wanting a baby with Harry, absolutely killed him. It was like ever since that day, he had a grey little cloud above his head, having her words wash over him like the high tide at any point of the day.

Harry knew he couldn’t hate her if she didn’t want children. He knew that some people just didn’t want children, and he would have to accept it, even though the thought of not having his own family was aching in his bones.

He knew that if this continued on, he would have to choose between staying with her, the love of his life, but probably never having children, and leaving her, knowing that he could have a family of his own, but never with the only person that he wanted that with. At this point, all the thoughts were swirling in his head, causing a migraine. It always turned out this way, and none of the options he considered was making him happy. He loved her so much. So much that he could barely breathe when he looked at her. He hadn’t been in love before he met her, and he was in love the moment she met eyes with him. She was everything, but this couldn’t continue any longer.

Harry felt all his emotions from that day resurface when he entered his bedroom, Y/N laying cuddled up on his bed, freshly showered, with her nose in one of his books he had recommended to her. As he stepped inside, his breathing was shaky, and from that point on, he couldn’t hold it together for even a minute longer.

Y/N looked up at him, confused with the sudden rush of emotions in the room. She opened up the duvet for him, and he crashed into her body like a limp doll, grabbing on to her for his life, knowing that it may very well be the last time that he got to do so.

Y/N had been on her own journey in the past year. A year of self-discovery, of pain, pleasure, and allowing things to come as they are without trying to put to much thought into it.

After their conversation about family and children that night, just three months into their relationship, Y/N was still sour about the way she grew up, caring for her siblings, taking on way to much responsibility at such a young age. But she wasn’t angry anymore. She had realized that it didn’t do her any good to think about her past and let it swallow her whole. She wanted to focus on the future, her work, her relationship with Harry and their future together.

She was so in love with him, like the moon loved the stars, like the river liked the rocks they were flowing with. He was everything.

The memory of their conversation from a year ago hurt her heart. She knew it had broke him. But they were also just three months into their relationship, she was angry at her family and fresh into being alone and self-sufficient as an adult. She couldn’t think about having kids, she wasn’t in the headspace.

But as their relationship evolved and bloomed, she couldn’t help but to think about their future together, maybe as a family. The glimpses of him with his godchildren, the way he was acting around them made her body run hot.

How much she denied she wanted children, she couldn’t anymore. It would be a lie. The thought she almost didn’t dare to think, their own baby was creeping into her head more and more since that conversation. Since she had truly fell in love with him. And there was no longer any reason do hide it or deny it.

Harry’s body was shaking under the duvet, gripping onto Y/N’s body for some type of comfort. Y/N was confused, but gentle, letting him trap her with his tall body, and running soothing circles over this bare back and shoulders. “Shhh, darling, what’s on that beautiful mind of yours, huh?” She said gently against his unruly hair, sticking out everywhere.

And he told her. He told her everything on his mind and placed all of his card on the table. He had given up any hope of being truly happy, weather it was with or without her. It was her time to cry, her breathing harsh and guilty. She didn’t know he was still thinking about that, and so constantly as well. She had been thinking about casually talking about it with him, revisit the conversation and drop some hints about her current state of mind. She had no idea he felt like this, like the only options were to be with her and have no children, or to leave her to be with another that could never make him truly happy, but he would have a family with.

Y/N let him spill out every single one of his thoughts, gently carding through his hair, trying to calm him down, and unconsciously letting him know that is was all going to be alright.

When he finished, he felt like jelly, his body weak and dehydrated. “Alright my love.” She told him as she switched their positions in the bed, their bodies flush against each other, facing each other with only so much as a few centimetres between their wet faces.

“Let me tell you about this past year…” She started, as he listened to her voice telling him everything he had wanted to hear all those months ago. His breathing was slowly evening out, but tears still fell steady as she went on. He placed pecks on her puffy lips now and then, listening, awarding her with more kisses when he realised; it really wasn’t as bad as he had thought, she did want a family. As long as it was with him, and as long as it was never going to be as it was with her own family.

2 years later

She was going to tell him tonight, and she wanted to make It special.

Y/N’s now fiancé was at the studio, and while on facetime with her best friend, Maya, she told her about something she had been keeping a secret for the better part of the 2 hour call. Y/N was pregnant. And she did want to tell Harry first, of course, but her head was spinning with thoughts and she wanted to make the announcement at least a little special, so she needed advice. Maya was screaming bloody murder over the call. She was jumping up and down, tearing up and couldn’t seem to get the information into her head. Her best friend was going to have a baby.

Y/N had barely even been able to work through the information herself, but she also had tears streaming down her face.

Her and Harry had another babytalk when they had gotten engaged, just 4 months ago. It had been hours into the night, the moon shining bright onto their bed and lighting up the room. They wanted it. They wanted it now. Names had been thrown around, ideas for a nursery, and Harry was absolutely dying to get started making a baby.

Y/N had a Nexplanon implant for the entirety of their relationship, and a part of her wanted to call the doctor immediately to have it taken out.

She did have it taken out, just weeks after their conversation. Harry was away on business for three weeks, the perfect opportunity as the little incision would leave a few bruises and scars on her arm. She decided on not telling him that she got it removed, and if she was able to become pregnant quick enough, it would be an ultimate surprise. She knew where he stood anyways, it wasn’t like he didn’t want to put a baby in her as soon as he could, he wanted nothing else.

“I honestly don’t even know how to tell him. “I want to make it at least a little special.” Y/N sighed to Maya over facetime, head empty of any and every idea she had ever had. “I don’t think it has to be that special, it’s still an intimate moment, and Harry will surely love it either way. I think with him it’s just best If you catch him when he’s in that disgustingly loving mood you always have him in.” Maya said and rolled her eyes. Y/N smiled at her comment. She did get him in that mood often. He was almost always loving up on her when he had the opportunity. “Yeah,” Y/N said, lost in thought about how to tell him. “I think you’re right, maybe I’ll get him something cute though, I don’t know. I just feel like I could absolutely burst, I just want to tell him right when he gets home.” Y/N continued, gauging Mayas reaction over the phone. Maya offered her a big smile. “I think you should just tell him tonight.”

Harry had burst through the door a little past 6 that night. Voice strained after a whole day of writing and vocals on his new record. He looked visibly tired, but he lit up as soon as Y/N met him in the hallway of now their house. Without a single word falling from his lips he reached his arms out for her, like a child needy for a good cuddle. And of course, she welcomed his embrace with her heart in her throat, like always when he was around her.

“Hi, Dove.” He murmured into her neck, as he breathed in her scent, making a home for himself in the crook of her neck. “Hi” She shyly got out as he embraced her, placing a few gentle kisses on her lips. “I have a surprise for you.” Y/N said cryptically as she looked him in his eyes, wanting to play It off as serious. “You do, yeah? My lovely fiancé at home, giving me a surprise, huh? You know I’d rather have you on a silver plate than-“ he said in his tired tone, eyes gleaming and playful as he straight up admitted his horniness right as he stepped through the door.

“Jesus Christ, you have the mouth of a sailor, I swear.” Y/N chuckled and pushed herself away from his grip, but not without giving him another kiss. “I’m pretty sure you’ll want this surprise.” She continued as she walked away from him, sitting down on their sofa.

Y/N had cozied up the room before Harry got home, fluffed the pillows, lit some candles and got out something to drink for them as well as placing the wrapped up pregnancy test on the coffee table.

Harry eventually arrived into the lounge, raising his eyebrow at the wrapped up gift laying on the table. “S’that for me?” He said playfully. Her heart was beating out of her chest. She felt guilty not telling him about her implant but was sure that the guilt would be washed away with pure joy and excitement at any given moment. Harry sat down right next to her, looking at her face carefully and studying it for any kind of clue of what could be hiding inside the wrapper. “You know you don’t ever have to get me anything, Dove, but it is a nice surprise.” He said, reaching for the gift on the table.

She could barely get any more words out of her mouth, they got stuck in her throat: Her eyes glazed over, knowing what was coming, which had Harry immediately dropping the gift, tending to her instead. “Hey, hey I’m sorry, was it something I said? Are you okay my love?” He carefully said as he took her in his arms, holding her and kissing her head gently.

At this point it was getting ridiculous, so she just laughed it off. She knew he would understand her behaviour when he got to see what was inside of that gift.

“Just open your gift already.” She lightly chuckled and made eyes at the gift, still sitting on the floor from where he dropped it.

And for a moment, something flashed in his eyes. Like he could sense what was coming, he eyed her for a moment, holding the gift in his hands. Harry said nothing more, but just ripped up the paper and was met with not one, but three very positive pregnancy tests, all yelling the word PREGNANT at him. “You’re going to be a dad, H.” Y/N almost whispered, and the tears had started falling for real this time. It was like the best confirmation in herfself that she could ever feel. THIS was what she wanted, the relief flowing from her, making her finally breathe again. Harry studied the tests quietly, Y/N could see his hand shaking from where he sat next to her. “This is a prank, you can’t- are you serious my love?” He looked at her for answers, and she could just kiss him with how he looked right now, lips puffy from biting on them, eyes wide and watery. “I’m fully serious, I got the implant taken out when you were away.” Y/N laughed and stroked his cheek for a moment. She couldn’t believe this was real, that he was real, and that he was hers.

And then he cried, he couldn’t get the words out, fumbling and falling right into her arms, making her fall back on the sofa. “You’re pregnant, Dove, we’re having a baby, I-“. Y/N could feel his wet tears on the side of her neck as he took in the moment, trying to regulate his tears and his breathing, but to no avail. He placed a large palm on Y/N’s lower belly, not yet showing any signs that she was expecting. He laughed, cried, and consistently stroked over her stomach as he kissed her with all the passion he had in his body. No matter how tired he was, he would never be too tired for a moment like this, it was like his whole body was on fire, never to be put out.

“I can’t even believe-, I love you so much, I love you, I love you and our baby so much, you’re everything, absolutely everything.”

And in that moment, Harry and Y/N realised that even if their ways had parted all those years ago, without having this baby, without having each other, everything would be pointless. This is what they were meant to be doing, this is where they were meant to be - in this exact moment.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles x reader #dadrry #dad!harry #harry styles one shot #ficmas

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domreader-headcannon-scenarios · 8 months

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It Fucks with me that straight up

Purgatory hall, the new characters and basically people in Mc//ourlives don’t know what Belphie did in chapter 16 and esp in Nightbringer, like we 100% habe trauma and like straight up makes me wanna write angst but I’m Shitty with it and always fuck it up

So I’m just….gonna ramble under cut about it? //spoilers for both games I suppose!

So to start, there’s several instances of the brothers (and in one occasion Barbatos and Diavolo separately) get aggressive towards reader and I like imagine they must have some kinda PTSD since they’ve literally died and honestly I self project and I act nothing like Mc…I’d be in fucking tears miserable over the fact I just got warped in the past without anyone but my mentor

Like I cant see my family, friends or PETS for who knows how long???

Just imagine how it would feel….

You’re already living in a worn down old building since the moment you’ve arrived in the past, where else can you go?? The brothers aren’t friendly, you have not a cent to your name, just what’s on your person the second you’re dropped off and left. You WANT to think things will be ok, Solomon is here to help you so at least you’re not alone but…

You will die eventually, what if this takes too long, and you die here? Will anyone from your timeline ever find out?

Would you family know? Your friends?

Solomon keeps reassuring you that it’s fine, but he’s a sorcerer who’s immune to everything…his own stupidity gave him immortality…maybe if you’re unlucky enough he’d make you immortal and you’d…wait till you could see the brothers ‘normally’ again. Well them and everyone else.

As time goes on you ultimately are forced to continue to try to re friend them. Solomon is equal parts helpful as he is a problem, but it all seems to work out.

Until they find out your human. Why does it matter? You never said you were a demon! You TOLD THEM YOU WERE HUMAN. They laughed it off…why is it your fault…your not like them?

Belphegore was the aggressor, just like before. You don’t know if he was going to hurt you and you didn’t want to find out. You saw his hand reaching towards you, almost like they were going for your throat…

Again…

“Not again!”

You screamed as you collapsed on the ground, hand instinctively going to protect your neck. You’re gasping for air even though you haven’t been touched yet, you’re terrified. Is this really it? Is he really going to kill you again? Did you really think…this would end well, Solomon? Diavolo? Barbatos?…Anyone?

Now you are where you are, trembling and in tears on the ground. But you didn’t feel anyone grab you, you did however feel like someone walked in front of you. To your relief, Solomon had come to your rescue…

You wanted to appreciate it, but all you wanted to do was go home now.

You let out a broken sob, you honestly didn’t care anymore if they saw you like this. You have been through hell and back for these idiots and yet, you still love them so much, so much so that all you want to do is see them again, but the version of them you know.

You love them, they are worth it, but why do you have to suffer for it? Your time in the human world after Devildom…nothing bad happened…maybe…you’re the problem?

With your mind spiraling, you don’t even hear everyone shouting, you don’t hear your name, you don’t hear who says it.

All you can do is cry and hope whoever sent you here shows mercy and let’s you go home.

(Ok now it’s done sorry)

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me x reader #Solomon x reader #angst

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teyamsatan · 11 months

Note

dilf jake sully's biggest kinks?

argh, people sending me anything jake related??? immediately h word alert thinking about it ok let's see bb

i feel like this man has so many kinks, but that might be just me projecting all my kinks onto the most dilf man i've ever seen in my life. i only chose a few, cause othrwise i'd be writing a whole ass thesis and getting my phd on why dilf! jake sully can break my back and step on me and i'd thank him for it. anyway, here's my top contenders:

(🔞 smut under the cut)

dacryphilia/overstimulation

dilf!jake loves it when you cry. he gets off on seeing your puffy face as he sinks into your warm, sopping cunt, whimpering something or other about "'s too much, can't come anymore, daddy". he'd chuckle, a low, sonorous sound escaping his chest, bringing one of his hands up and gently removing your tears before they reach soft cartilage of your ears. his fat tip kisses your cervix as he bottoms out in you, burying his teeth in the flesh of your shoulder to muffle his own moans threatening to escape at how good you feel squeezing him. "come on, princess. one more f'r me, i know you have it in ya. come on daddy's cock and then i'll fill you up, how's that sound, huh?"

somnophilia

being olo'eyktan, dilf!jake finds himself in a... sticky situation at least weekly as he comes to your shared tent in the middle of the night yet again, kept against his will in meeting after meeting after meeting, when all he can think about is you, and how you're most likely sleeping peacefully, your naked body glistening under the light emanating from the plants surrounding you, peaking through the weaves of the marui. he can't help the way his digits fist around his throbbing cock at your sight, always better than even his best dreams, pumping himself vigorously as he stalks towards you, kneeling in between your legs, wasting no time as his tongue starts lapping at your dripping folds, nearly coming apart at the seams at the way even in your sleep, you can't help exhale breathy moans of "daddy, please. need'ya in me, daddy!" "always so needy for daddy's cock, you dream about it, huh, babygirl?"

daddy kink/breeding kink

there's nothing that makes dilf!jake want to fuck you senseless more than one little word. just one word, coming out your perfect, fuckable mouth: daddy. "say it again, kid." his pace is ruthless as he has you on all fours, fingers wrapped around your braided hair and the other on your hips, pulling your body back as he's slamming into you with enough force to knock the air out of your lungs with every thrust. "d-daddy, daddy, daddy!" "that's right, kid. daddy's gonna take good care of you. gonna come in this tight little pussy. gonna put another baby in you, huh?" you try to nod or say yes, but all that comes out are blabbered mewls as Jake's cock bruises your cervix, one hand reaching around to circle your clit in the way he knows will have you squirting all around him, your slick and cum dripping down his balls and thighs, mixing with his seed that he fucks back into you, using his length as a plug to make sure nothing gets wasted. "...d-daddy..." "that's right, kid. taking my cum like the good girl you are."

i might do a part 2 cause i feel like i've missed some important kinks that i'd like to... explore ;)

arghhh i need him, i need him so badly, i need him entirely, wholly, substantially, exceedingly,...

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fandomfucker · 7 days

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I loveeee the singer and rhea headcanons you write could you do one where the reader is an actress? Maybe they meet through the reader getting cast in a movie that involves around wwe so she spends time going to matches and backstage

YES

Also, the years are different because that's how i want it and I said so🤷‍♀️

You'd have starred in that movie Fighting With My Family (just a different year though)

Since a big part of Saraya's story was Wrestlemania, you were invited to that years Wrestlemania, just a month or two before you started filming

The one you were invited to was Wrestlemania 39 and you were able to go to not only day 1, but also day 2 and got backstage VIP treatment

You got to meet a bunch (if not all) the wrestlers and had a heart-to-heart with Triple H

Rhea saw you first

She was nervous and jumping around shaking out her hands when she saw you walk down the hallway past her open door

Her heart stopped as did her nervous bounces

She kinda just automatically walked out of her room and watched you walk down the hallway until she couldn't see you anymore

She turned around and caught Dominik laughing at her

He told her who you were and told her to go for it

She didn't have the confidence until a little after winning her match against Charlotte

"Oh my god! Congratulations on your win! I'm Y/n Y/l/n, its so cool to finally meet you. You, uh, you looked really good out there."

"Yeah, you too. Thanks, uh-would you maybe, wanna, like, I dont know, get a drink or something after the show? You dont have to if you dont want to but-"

"I'd love too! And...maybe you could teach me a thing or two about wrestling?"

"Yeah, for sure"

You'd never seen her so nervous and it remained that way until she wound up proposing

But she just thought you were so fucking hot

Little did she know, you were just as affected as she was. you're just better at hiding it

soon as you walked away from yalls first meeting you were blushing and stuttering so bad someone asked if they needed to get you medical help

You were able to watch the matches from the guerilla and get a feel for the environment; the stakes, the people, the emotions, everything so that you'd be able to replicate it for the movie

You studied peoples moves, not only how they moved individually but together

Letting each other know what they were going to do, setting up, taking the bump, everything

You watched Rhea the closest though

It was just because she and Saraya seemed to have a lot in common in the way their characters looked is what you told yourself. Totally not cause she was absolutely gorgeously lethal in the ring

She helped you spare alongside the people actually hired to teach you for the movie. The wrestling with Rhea was more effective because that was her expertise

You definitely learned a lot but you only ever won when she let you

But with her looking the way she does when she riptides you, losing really doesn't sting too bad

You officially start dating around the time the movie comes out later that year, she was your date to the premiere and you guys wore matching outfits and it was perfect

Once you moved on to other projects, Rhea found solace in watching some of your previous stuff she hadn't seen before but found that she could NOT stand watching you scream or cry or be covered in blood (and god forbid a combination of the three)

You woke up once at 2 am to a call from her, checking to make sure you were ok and to hear your voice after she watched a show where your character was tortured nearly to death

She doesn't watch any of your horror/sci-fi stuff anymore

Shes always your premiere date though unless she absolutely has to work in which case you just go alone, but together you always match

She does love the stuff your in where youre not being harmed though and she'll watch them over and over again

She has at least one poster from everyone of your projects up somewhere in her house

Plus an abundance of your merch

Like way too much for any normal person

Kinda gives off Tom Holland and Zendaya vibes, but you each think that you're Tom and your girlfriend is Zendaya (if that makes sense)

Rhea about has a stroke when she find out you guest starred in an episode of Supernatural when you were younger

The Fighting With My Family movie is Rhea's favorite though and harbors the most merch since thats how yall met

You've gone to a ton of PPEs and RAWs since you started dating and fans freak out every time

#rhea ripley #the judgement day #rhea ripley x reader #the judgment day #wwe #wwe raw #tjd x reader #the judgement day x reader #the judgment day wwe #the judgment day x reader #wwe x reader #rhea ripley headcanons

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ridreamir · 5 months

Note

How about some head cannons for blue berry academy students befriending a new student reader who turns out to be a faller? The reader is from our world and does have at least some memory loss.

And so I might have turned it into a fic and not a list of HCs... lemme know if you want me to rewrite it lol -- it was getting kinda long so this might just be a part one of two if people actually like it. If not I'll just move onto other things :p

With the multi-billion dollar project underway to extend Blueberry Academy's underwater campus, there's been an influx of new students lining up to attend the recently founded institution!

As for you who may or may not have crash-landed in Unova not long ago -you with no credentials- there's no way you could have applied to join the wave of incoming students... had it not been for a string of improbable events that tied you up in some top secret plot.

An unpredicted meteor ripped through the planet's atmosphere in the late hours of night. A burst of unusual green-blue energy had not only been visible to the naked eye, but it set off all the satellite radars in the region. And what stumbled out of the impact zone was the most unlikely part of the story.

... Where... were you? Did you... fall asleep again? Opening your eyes, the cold midnight wilderness flashed alight with an eerie aurora floating close to the ground. The dust was settling, but instead of dispersing into the dirt, it'd been floating up back toward the clear starflecked sky. The surrounding field stood littered with broken shards of... something. They'd been decaying into twinkling flakes light enough to float off the ground — and being that it was pitch black, the only light you had to see was quickly dispersing from the stripped soil and clumps of torn up grass. Once they'd burnt the last of their light, it had left you nothing but one last gentle light source. Registering the mysterious shimmering crystal not far from your face, you sat up, with no proper sense of how you'd got there or what it had been doing on top of you. You must've walked for miles with it in your arms before passing out from exhaustion.

...

You're really asleep again. You tried to cry out, open your eyes. Nothing happened. You tried to feel your fingertips, your breath in and out of your nose. Where is your body? Nothing... happened. The shell forming around you kept out the melded together white silhouettes, but it also kept you in. But a woman burst through the doors, and you couldn't make out here face as she yelled at them to stop. No, all you could make out was the familiar pattern of her earrings. "Can't you see that you can't drill through this?!" She pushed them out of the way, standing between you and their stainless steel tools. "You'll do nothing but hurt the both of them!"

. There's some illegible message displayed on the device you hold in your hands. You look down at it, not remembering what you were doing before.

You can't make out any of the details anymore, but you're unable to look away as you hear the sound effect from pressing the A-button. The symbols warp into familiar letters. You suddenly feel a slightly overshadowing presence behind you. At last, comprehensible text materializes.

"And so you have returned with some pretense of self awareness. Not as you were before, however."

You press the A-button again. "More a shell of what you once were... Something I lament to say likely cannot be reversed." A-button. "Nay, you are not the you that I once knew." You... press it again. "..." It does not speak, so you press it again.

And again.

"I am at a loss as to whether I should mourn a past that has faded into obscurity or feel at peace knowing that you are as ever-changing as the world you left in my charge." You press the button one more time, but the voice seems to hesitate for a moment, thinking of what next to say.

". . . "

"Regardless, I have been awaiting your return for a very long time."

Better to get up and put on your tacky school uniform now than fall back asleep and wait to be dragged out from your boring old dorm room by the scruff.

Being taken as a test subject in the most remote middle-of-the-ocean facility felt more like being held prisoner than enrolling in school. Your homeroom teacher, Ms. Briar, had served as a reminder that the muddy flashes of memories you had of being encased in a living crystal were, in fact, real. She seems to know a lot about the creature you woke up holding, but next to nothing about you. While still mildly annoyed by her poking and prodding, you've warily come to accept that her endless curiosity is not out of cruelty. She is... respectful toward you. Not of your boundaries, but she's fascinated with you in a mild manner that does not immediately endanger your safety. Speaking of, as you sat down and slung your bag over the desk chair, Terapagos came tumbling out, clinking clumsily against the floor. "Aaa-" It cried, stuck on its back. Or, well, not it. He. You quickly scooped him up and set him back on his legs. He's looking up at you, nudging your shoe with his head. His unusually large eyes sparkle as he stares with unmatched innocence, waiting for you to bend over and pick him up. Which you do, knowing the pink haired girl that sits a few rows behind you is vibrating in her seat. "Cute... so cute..." She's mumbling under her breath. Ever since you 'enrolled' she'd done nothing but stare at your companion, which he seemed to find uncomfortable if the pulling at your shoelace wasn't enough to convey that fact. "Alright, little guy, alright. I'm on it." You huff, gently plucking him off the ground with two hands. He cries out in joy and she suddenly clutches her heart, falling backward out of her seat.

...

Nobody here talks to you. Not because they haven't tried, but because every attempt has been met with you either pretending you hadn't heard them or getting up and walking out the classroom. All Briar had to do was take the attendance. They couldn't necessarily threaten you into forced bonding with others. No, your real confinement was having to go into the terrarium and complete menial tasks for the equivalent of money just so you could buy food and school supplies. You didn't even want to be here, you just didn't have anywhere better to go. Apparently they just wanted to protect you for the time being, but there's no way in hell you'd believe that's why they sent you into glorified solitary confinement in the middle of the ocean. Everyone else had permission to come and go whensoever they pleased.

No, your only equals here were your few Pokemon friends. The researchers might've claimed to be keeping your friends in the terrarium for the sake of their health and the preservation of the outside world it mimicked, but you'd never believe in their so called pure intentions. No, this was a pretty little garden for outsiders looking in, and a cage too small for ornate living decorations like you.

Terapagos had been your only one constant since day one, and he was wary of most other people. You trusted his judgement the most. Most other people. The lunch ladies were apparently the saints of the Pokemon world. The food staff are genuinely kind, and Terapagos is a fiend for all types of Pokemon confections you're quickly learning. They've told you that most Pokemon have a taste preference, but not your special little pal, though the poor thing had such a tiny stomach that does not match his monstrous appetite at all.

There's one other person Terapagos had once been intent on pestering in at the cafeteria, but was quickly distracted by another helping of berries and whipped cream.

Compliments to the hardworking Alcremie in the kitchen, they were the only ones who could truly keep his menace at bay... You were endlessly thankful for the distraction, anyway. You wouldn't have known what to do if he'd marched right on up to the four of them chatting amongst themselves over lunch. Red haired dude. Pink haired girl. Scary four eyes. Annoying dragon jerk. Everyone knew who they were. Those were the most problematic trainers in all the Academy.

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sokkabaddiebender2021 · 3 months

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ok y’all i finally finished the neflix live action avatar and…….don’t hate me……..but i enjoyed it 😭 my standards for entertainment is honestly on whether or not it entertained me, so honestly i question my standards.

first off, the visuals and score was absolutely amazing. the fight scenes were well choreographed, and the bending, which i was super nervous about, looked actually amazing.

i think we can all agree the writing and dialogue was pretty choppy at times, and the delivery could be better at times. but i also think (most) of the energy of the original characters was captured well. katara honestly got done the dirtiest because why was she so…….not passionate??? i’m hoping later on she gets more so because that’s a key trait of katara. i was very disappointed with that :/

what they did to suki too……..i liked her being a little awkward and such because it makes sense but i felt like too much of her character was dedicated to her having a crush on sokka. like where is her attitude, her ferocity?

i think aang was played very well by gordon cormier, especially considering this is a child actor we are taking about. his line delivery isn’t going to be great and yes he is a real boy so he can’t be as cartoony as some would hope but i think he was absolutely adorable.

surprise surprise, i loved dallas liu as zuko. i think there were some pretty whack line deliveries but he really captured the anger and cringeyness of zuko well. his martial arts were also also incredible, his fight scenes were my favorite to watch. the scene with him crying quietly on the bed when ozai banishing him shattered me, his subtle acting is underrated honestly.

i have my beef with ian ousley as sokka mostly because of the controversy and such, but i can’t lie he did play sokka well. yet again, as for the last characters, some line deliveries were iffy but he was still a very believable sokka.

so for the writing, i have LOTS OF OPINIONS. there were things they cut that definitely upset me, and that was just because of their lowkey questionable pacing. as much as i hate the slimeball, i missed a lot of the interesting parts of zhao’s story that they cut like his agni kai, jeuong jeuong (aang’s fear of fire??), zuko SAVING him. i feel like they had something interesting there with building a fake alliance with him and zuko, and they didn’t build more off it. [edit] that so, the dude who played zhao had me losing my shit. his line delivery was hilarious and i just love that zhao just gives that manager no one likes/that one creepy math teacher in high school vibes (only combination i could think of y’all).

the additions to zuko’s story was something i absolutely loved. i found myself actually getting very emotional with a lot of the flashbacks, and the 41st division being his crew 🥹🥹 but then i find myself being upset that we were shown other flashbacks so early (like the death of katara’s mother??).

i actually hate the hate azula’s actress is getting. she’s playing a 14 year old……like a 14 year old?? she wasn’t even in season 1 in the og so ofc she’s gonna not be the same, i’m hoping this means they’re building up her up to her fierceness in season 2.

one last critique PLEASE GET A WIG BUDGET GOOD LORD THOSE WIGS WERE BAAAAD. and also a lot of their costumes looked fake or like plastic this was actually my least favorite part 😭

overall, not as horrible as people make it out to be, i had a good time but obviously the og will always be the higher quality product. i’m just glad the young actors seemed to really be passionate for the project :)

#atla #avatar the last airbender #natla #natla spoilers #zuko #sokka #azula #katara #iroh #atla live action #netflix atla #i’m always going into a war zone with atla opinions #it’s a passionate fandom

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amelee23 · 8 months

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Cleaning supplies... Under the moonlight | Hwang Hyunjin

Pairing: Hyunjin x reader (no pronouns used but they are wearing a swim suit)

Characters: best friend!Hyunjin, reader, David (reader’s boyfriend), Jihyo and Luna (reader’s friends) and Sharon (identity is a spoiler). None of the original characters resemble real people.

Genre: Romance, best friends to lovers, ANGST, hurt/comfort, being saved from a messy break-up, slow burn, star-crossed lovers

Word Count: 8k

Warnings: CHEATING (reader gets cheated on by her boyfriend), toxic relationship, messy break-up, crying, reader becomes very insecure, Hyunjin is there to save the day, and he’s pining hard, reader is wearing a swim suit, I have no idea how heated pools work so don’t quote me on anything, Hyunjin is a poet so; I present to you confessing feelings through love poems, Hyunjin is shirtless, swearwords, reader gets called ‘angel’, kissing, cuddles, a bit of revenge, humor, the tense change is intentional (kinda), hopelessly romantic stuff, poetic prose, metaphors galore and lots of word plays (if you catch them all I’ll give you a gold star.)

A/n: I know the first part of the story focused on the reader’s relationship with her toxic boyfriend, but Hyunjin will become the main focus after the break-up so please don’t let the beginning intimidate you. Also I worked on this an entire week lord send help

Synopsis: Your vacation was supposed to go like this: scented candles, a warm pool and the light of the moon, in hopes of fixing your relationship with your boyfriend. But the universe had other plans. After you found out he has been cheating, you bathed under the moonlight, surrounded by broken roses, being confessed in poems by your best friend Hyunjin, and you’ve never felt so whole.

You've put everything into this vacation.

And that didn't only mean money, albeit it was quite costly. You, your boyfriend and some close friends decided to rent out a vacation house with a gigantic heated pool, to at least create a fun, leisure memory before summertime slipped between your fingers and the sun would grow sad and dim once again. With the price shared by so many people, it was still quite a lot - but you didn't care, because there was more emotion put behind this vacation than mere money.

Perhaps it wasn't the healthiest of solutions, just how when a couple decided to get married to fix their relationship (which to you always seemed like such a horrid idea), you were trying something similar. You wanted this vacation with your boyfriend, David. Things between you haven't been good, that would be the simplest way to put it. His behavior changed, he became more distant, less passionate about your relationship, and one thing led to another and you were fighting because of your growing suspicions. Truth be told, you were terrified. Afraid he didn't love you anymore, afraid he found someone else to spend his nights with.

He had been everything to you, the fiber woven from your cells, the beginning and end of every breath you took - because when you loved, you didn't hold back. And it came to you so naturally, too; to love him. You've never had something so simple, so stable until you met him. But they do say every good thing must come to an end, and there's this little cricket in the back of your mind, at low volume but at an unbearable high pitch, following you every moment, whether awake or asleep. It's telling you your gut is right. Vivi (so you've nicknamed him, many months ago, when his friends were making fun of how basic the name David is) has told you a million times you had nothing to worry about. That he's just busy, or stressed, or that your love is just settling into something more calm, rather than an intense teenage-like love, like it used to be in the beginning. He's made you feel insane so many times over. Like you're just imagining things, like your insecurities are getting out of hand and you're just projecting on him, lashing out at him. You thought you deserved the pain that came with the accusations of being untrusting, immature, unconfident, inconsiderate or selfish. But you didn't, of course you didn't. You didn't deserve any of that.

You were afraid Vivi wouldn't agree to the vacation, or even if he did, he wouldn't pull through on the money part and you'd have to pay his share. You were ready to annihilate your savings account just for this one chance at a happy memory. This one chance at making things right. But surprisingly, he agreed in a heartbeat and even suggested a specific vacation house he's heard of from his friends. Not even two days later, he had all the details down, made the math of the expenses and put together the whole group chat. You thought this was it, he was actually trying again. Showing you he still does have the passion to make you happy.

You couldn't have picked out a better date for the vacation, either. The first night, it would be a full moon, with a clear sky. You were imagining it already, how magical it was going to be, soaking in a heated pool under the moonlight with David, reciting your love vows once more, like you used to do in the start of your relationship. You couldn't help how hopelessly romantic you were, you needed to let it out, confess disgustingly sappy and cheesy words of admiration. But more than that, you needed him to tell you he loves you. You needed it.

When you arrived, you were met with a stranger who had been waiting for you and your friends at the vacation house. She introduced herself as Sharon, the daughter of the owner. Since her father was busy, she was left in charge of giving you the orientation.

"I'm not going to bother you much." She assured you, her voice was low in volume and yet high in pitch. "I'm just going to give you a quick tour of the rooms and then explain to you how the pool works, and what cleaning supplies you can use just in case you need them." She was a beautiful girl, so beautiful in fact, that the cricket in the back of your mind was telling you to be envious. You couldn't quite understand it, but you brushed it off.

There were three rooms in the house, each of them with their own bathroom. It was so much more luxurious than you imagined, and suddenly it seemed odd that you paid so little for something so grand. You remembered Vivi saying something about a discount, but the memory was vague. Nevertheless, the room count was perfect. One room would belong to you and Vivi, one to Jihyo and Luna, and one to Hyunjin.

You met Jihyo through Vivi, they were coworkers at some point. But the two of you instantly clicked and became girl friends, and the more, the merrier - Luna was her adopted sister, picked up from an orphanage in Spain. She was one of the most incredible and strongest women you've ever met, and you simply adored her. It was so magical to see how the two sisters came in a package, how they looked after each other with unconditional love. You thought something like that only existed in TV shows.

And lastly, there was Hyunjin. A man, a poet, a romantic with beauty deemed worthy of a Greek tragedy. But most importantly, your best friend; your lifeline. He understood you, in ways no one ever could. Your souls were made from the same material, the same thirst of emotions of celestial scales, he saw beauty in the small things just like you did. And he has been there, day in, day out, through your ugliest moments. When you were single at prom, he turned down at least 15 girls to take you instead. When you were too broke to afford Taylor Swift tickets, he pretended to 'roam the city' with you so that you'd listen to the concert from outside the stadium. When a boy broke your heart, he'd turn your pain into the most beautiful poems, and gift them to you in journals filled with drawings of your favorite flowers. He was more than anyone could ever ask for, and you were forever grateful to have such a human in your life. The perfect best friend.

With the tour out of the way, you volunteered to go with Sharon and receive the tutorial about the pool and supplies you must use for it. She explained to you the heating mechanism (although all you needed to do was turn it on, she reassured you.) and that water might need to be replenished if you use the pool a long time since the heat makes it evaporate faster. You jutted down all you could in your notes app, and then followed her to the supply closet. She explained to you about chlorine (although half of what she said went over your head) and showed you the cleaning supplies you can use in the instance that the water becomes extremely dirty (which she knew wouldn't be the case, but she was required to let you know). By the end of it, you were starting to think your senses maybe are going insane. Sharon seemed like a very nice and gentle person, and her attitude was very bright and easygoing. You told her you were gonna take some pictures of the bottles and note down in your phone what they are, so she gave you a warm smile and left you alone in the supply closet.

After writing your own one-thousand-words heated pool manual (pictures included), you were ready to have the vacation of a lifetime. You picked out a swimsuit in Vivi's favorite color, prepared his favorite scented candles to place around the pool, and alerted your friends beforehand that you wanted the pool just for you and Vivi on the first night. It was all coming together perfectly, so you grabbed the door handle with confidence.

"I'm sure my friends wouldn't mind if I leave a little bit later. We could grab some food and then hit up that bar you like? Don't I owe you a mojito?" That was Vivi's voice. Even with the door cracked just a little, you could hear it. It was so clear. It was his voice.

"I would love to." The cricket. Low in volume, high in pitch. It was speaking - it was agreeing to go out with your boyfriend.

"And maybe, afterwards I could take you home? Would you like that?" Your eyes are closed shut. But you couldn't close your ears, unfortunately. The conversation continued, and you could imagine him whispering in her ear, looking into her eyes and tipping her chin just how he used to do with you. Tears were about to escape, so you closed them even tighter. Your lungs were burning, because you were denying them air. Holding your breath, you bit your lip, hands shaking as they gripped the wall.

"Speaking of taking something home, I have something for you-"

You finally took a breath. And you stormed towards the voices.

Your vision was blurry, but after blinking away your tears, an image formed before your eyes: David, holding out a gigantic rose bouquet towards Sharon.

The ugliest flowers you've ever seen in your life, held by the ugliest man you've ever met. He was never beautiful to begin with, right? He couldn't have. A man with such an ugly soul, how could you have been attracted to him? How could you have loved him?

He calls out your name.

"This isn't what it looks like, okay? My dad is friends with Sharon's dad, okay? We became friends by association, okay?"

Okay? Is he asking you that, or is he asking himself if the lie is plausible?

"And these are for you, yeah?" He's walking towards you, putting the bouquet in your limp hand. "There's nothing going on between me and Sharon." The cricket, it suddenly stopped. Instead, you heard Sharon gasp and look at David in horror. She must have not known. She was also just a victim.

"Just stop it already! Enough with the lies!" You found yourself yelling, a never seen before anger bubbling underneath your skin. Your fingertips urged you towards violence, and so you slammed the roses into the floor. The petals scattered and the stems broke. Your yell must have startled the others, because soon you heard a lot of footsteps behind you - and then Sharon turned around and walked away, a hurt look in her eyes, head hanging low in shame. She was avoiding the eyes of all your friends, who were now staring at you and David.

"Okay, fine. You've gotten boring and I was no longer happy. I was going to leave you anyway." He was so nonchalant, there was no waver in his voice. That made you feel as if every time he whispered sweet nothings in your ear, and his voice wavered, he wasn't honest. Only now, has he finally been honest.

And the most honest, he was when he took off in a run to chase after Sharon. To make sure she's okay. To comfort her and tell her she's the one he loves.

You fell to the floor.

And to your side, rushed no other than Hyunjin. Like always, to make sure you're okay. To comfort you and tell you you are loved.

The sobs broke out of your body and shook you violently. You were a mess of tears in just a few seconds, and you weren't going to hold back. You wailed, grabbed the roses and slammed them into the floor repeatedly.

But it was useless. They couldn't feel pain. They couldn't feel your pain. They couldn't realize what they have done to you.

Hyunjin wrapped his arms around your frame and gently lifted you to your feet.

"C'mon, let's get you in bed, yeah?" Your knees were buckling and you had no strength to stand. You were shaking your head no, like a toddler who didn't want to go back home. "We can continue crying in bed, mmm? Don't worry, I'll let you cry. I'll cry with you, angel." Your arms circled his torso, clutching his shirt between your fingers. You called out his name, and he reassured you he knows, he knows it hurts.

He carefully took your hand and dragged you away. He exchanged glances and nodded at your friends, but you didn't notice. You whispered to him, groggy in voice, that you can't go to your own room, because David's things are there. So Hyunjin took you to his room, which was the best choice for many reasons, not only so you can avoid seeing his things, but also so that he could avoid the urge of throwing David's suitcase out the window.

Hyunjin was true to his words. He sat you down in bed, and let you cry. And before he knew it, he was crying with you. He was holding you so tight, and it was so warm, and yet the shards of ice in your heart weren't melting. At first, you were angry - how could a human do something like this? Something so despicable, so vile? How could you not have realized you were in love with a monster? But then, his voice began to ring in your head. You're boring. He was going to leave you anyways. Perhaps it's you who's the problem. Perhaps you really are boring, and old-fashioned, and demanding, and idealistic, and untrusting, and immature, and too much to handle, and perhaps you should just give up because you're just un-

"Hyune, am I unlovable?" Your voice was barely there, but he heard you. He always heard you.

"Nonsense." He looked so hurt to hear you say that. "That's such nonsense." He repeated with a laugh, wiping his tears on his sleeve. "That's the most stupid thing you've ever said in your life. And you've said many stupid things, I would know." You slapped his arm in protest, but he was happy to see you chuckle.

"I mean, even if I'm not completely unlovable, Sharon is still prettier than me..." The flick of Hyunjin's fingers resonated on your forehead. You held your head in pain.

"What the hell, dude!"

"It's revenge! Every single time you say something like that, it hurts me. So I must hurt you back." You sighed. You knew he was joking, but at the same time, there was some truth behind it.

"I'm sorry, Hyune. I should have listened to you. You didn't like him since the very beginning, and you were the only one telling me my gut was right. It must have been so painful to just watch."

"It's painful to watch you now, as well." He confessed, and you felt a pang of guilt wash over you. But he pulled you back in his arms, to pet you hair lovingly. "That bastard, how dare he hurt my angel. I swear I'm gonna turn into Rapunzel's mom and lock you up in a tower so no one can ever hurt you again."

"Hmm, but doesn't pain help us grow or whatever?"

You were pretty sure Hyunjin just rolled his eyes all the way back to China.

"First of all, we all know pain just gives you more trauma. But I mean, your trauma collection is getting quite... exquisite nowadays." You smacked him again, playfully. But this time, you actually laughed. "No but seriously... there is a lesson in there somewhere. And not just to listen to me more often... to learn that you deserve more, angel." He was so close to you while he was speaking, his eyes aimed directly into yours. Your gaze wondered over him, over Hyunjin, your best friend. His chocolate eyes, sweeter than any cake you could ever eat, his vibrant lips, plumper than any wild cherry growing in the trees, his skin - like a canvas painted over the years with the brush of years and aging. His hair was long and dark, rebellious yet elegant, and the light was cascading in the room in lines, through the blinds that were semi-shut over the windows. Suddenly, there was a new sound in your mind. There was no more cricket, there was the sound of the ocean. Waves, crashing upon the shore. You were barely at the seams, the water was gently lapping at your feet; because you knew, you cannot underestimate the ocean. If you go any further, one wave is enough to push you off balance and take you into the water, like an irresistible magnet pulling you towards demise. One step, one wave, is enough. One more inch between your lips and his.

He pushed your shoulder lightly and you fell face first into the pillows.

"And if you say more mean things about yourself, I swear I'm throwing you in the pool." You reached out for the napkins on the nightstand. It was finally time to stop crying and... think about the future?

"The pool... tonight was supposed to be all romantic and perfect, with candles and the full moon on clear skies..."

"I like full moons and clear skies!" Hyunjin announced, and for some reason it made you burst into laugher. "What! It's true! The idiot would have probably not enjoyed it anyways. He has no eye for beauty. He thinks having one green wall in his grey apartment is enough for him to live 'in vibrant color'. Okay Picasso, but like why the fuck must that wall be in the kitchen?!" You look happy when you laugh. He loves seeing you happy. "You dodged a bullet, trust me. First it's the green kitchen wall, next he ignores the perfect date that his perfect girl set up for him-" His perfect girl. You heart was racing. "-and next he-"

"Tries to double tap her with the daughter of a vacation house owner. He couldn't even find the daughter of a rich CEO."

"- I was gonna say next he's the only single grandpa in a retirement home, because he's too sad of an excuse of a man, but that too." Hyunjin always did this for you, as well. He made sure to roast all of your exes until all you could think of them is burnt chicken. Until the memory of them becomes something funny, that could never hurt you again. "Plus, I'm not letting your efforts go to waste - I'm not letting you miss this chance. Let's watch the moon, together."

You nodded. What else could you do?

You decided it would be best to try to take a nap until night hit. So much crying has left you dizzy and with a headache crawling at fast speeds through your forehead and sinuses.

"Do you have any painkillers? Should I try to find a pharmacy around here?" Hyunjin offered, but you reassured him you have some in your suitcase. "Okay, wait here, I'll go get it for you- but uh, which one is yours?"

"The one that has color on it, duh." He disappeared with a giggle, around the corner.

"I will never underestimate you ever again, ma'am." He joked, placing your colorful suitcase next to the bed. He made sure none of your items were left over in the room you used to shared with David, and insisted you stay put while he brings you a glass of water.

Pills in your system, blinds closed, blanket over your shoulders, Hyunjin curled on the other side of the bed, as small as he could make himself be, so that he doesn't make you feel suffocated. But he was holding two of your fingers in his hand, from across the bed. The skin of two fingers was enough pathway for you to feel a million bodies worth of love, though.

When you woke up, he wasn't there. Nor David who was haunting you in your dreams, nor Hyunjin who was whispering poems to you to chase the nightmares away. You thought you'd be alright after crying it out, but it wasn't that easy. You woke up feeling miserable, with a heavy weight on your chest, and yet feeling so empty and hollow.

You checked your phone, and he hasn't called. You didn't know if you should feel sad or relieved about it. At least he won't chase after you again, right? It won't be another hurtful on and off. It's over. He doesn't love you anymore.

"Oh hey, you're awake- Nah ah, no more crying! You've had your fill of tears, now it's time for a fill of pizza! Get your ass to the living room, missy!" You didn't have the time to cry when Hyunjin was chasing you out of the room with a pillow.

It was a little bit awkward at first, because Jihyo and Luna didn't know if they should bring it up or just try to distract you. Eventually you bit the bullet and began to tell them about your relationship yourself. All the behavior changes, the suspicions, the hurtful words (that you now realize were manipulation) and all the lies.

"Not even his guy friends knew." Jihyo told you. She apparently told the whole group chat she was in with David's friends about what he has been doing. "He didn't just lose his girlfriend, I think he lost most of his friends by doing this."

"Thank you, Ji. For having my back." Perhaps your relationships were monster trucks, but your friends were really golden. They really looked after you.

"So!" Hyunjin announced. "Change of plans. She's having a romantic moonlit date with me, instead. So the pool is still off limits." After Luna threw what looked like a piece of olive at Hyunjin's shirt, and he screamed in your ear, eventually the sisters said they were planning on working on their DnD character sheets anyway. They were your favorite nerds.

According to your phone, the moon would begin to rise at around nine in the evening. It was just enough time for the food in your bellies to settle, while you caught up with the new videos of your favorite comedy channel. Laughter filled the room, and Jihyo and Luna made sure to cuddle the heck out of you, to distract you from that emptiness that was threatening to form into a pit in your stomach.

"So, what scented candles do you have? Something sexy and seductive?" Hyunjin asked you, wriggling his eyebrows. It made the other girls giggle.

"Apple." You answered, and the whole room deadpanned.

"In what world is apple sexy?!"

"It's his favorite!" You tried to defend yourself, but Hyunjin just scoffed.

"Jesus fucking Christ, you really needed a new boyfriend." This roast didn't make you grin. It didn't make you laugh. Instead, you looked down at the floor, a sigh shaking your body. As the seconds passed, you began to feel more and more stupid for ending up in this situation. For being so dumb as to let yourself be led on by some pretty words, and pretty eyes, that you could ever be truly loved- "Sorry." Hyunjin apologized in a panic. It just slipped, he had so much resentment bottled up for that man. "It's a good thing I brought some of mine with me. They're not exactly sexy, but they should be more fitting."

"Oh, what scent is it?"

"Ocean." Ocean, the waves that are lapping at your feet. They're calling you over.

Hyunjin was calling you over, to see if you like the smell of the candles. You had gone through too many emotions today: the anger, the sadness, the insecurities, and now this anxiety. Or was it thrill? If you put your ear on Hyunjin's chest, would you be able to hear the waves?

"I'm going to go set these up." He announced, and you nodded.

"I'll get changed." With a skip to his step, Hyunjin walked out and closed the door to give you privacy. You're not even in the water yet, and you already feel like you're drowning.

You fished out your swim suit from your luggage and laid it out on the bed before you. You actually bought this - spent so much money on it - got it in his favorite color - for a man who was cheating on you. You were really regretting not having brought an alternative with you. You couldn't just walk out in underwear and a shirt, right? Better not. You grit your teeth and put it on, but made a mental note to 'accidentally' start a dumpster fire, and 'accidentally' drop the swim suit in it after tonight.

When you were done changing, you found Hyunjin out by the pool. Somehow, he managed to turn it on by himself since you could already see steam coming off of it. He arranged two candles around one corner of the pool (since he only had two) and was probably waiting for you to arrive.

"Oh, angel. That color does not suit you." Hyunjin had always been quite picky when it came to fashion. He had his 'disgusted fashion designer' face on.

"I know, it's-"

"Let me guess, his favorite color? I've seem vomit more vibrant than that." You snorted at the comment. The color was, in fact, quite horrible. "If I wouldn't know how much money you probably spent on that, I'd tell you to set it on fire." You laughed. Great minds think alike.

"I was thinking the same thing." After exchanging grins, Hyunjin seemed to fall into thought. He had that look in his eyes that told you there was a complicated process going on in his mind.

"I'll buy you a new one." Surprised, you cocked an eyebrow at him as you approached the side of the pool he was at. You scooted next to the scented candle he lit, and sat down on the edge. "Careful you don't burn you butt." He joked, and you rolled your eyes at him. The candle wasn't even close to touching you. The water was very warm and calming, you noticed, when you dipped your feet in. It made you want to move even closer to the edge so that your tired ankles would be soothed.

"You don't need to buy me a new one. What would I use it for? I don't think I'll be at any pool again any time soon." A rosy petal tickled your toes and you realized the bouquet had somehow ended up in the water. There were petals and tiny white flowers scattered all around the corner of the pool. It would have been a beautiful sight, if it wasn't so tragic.

"Well, maybe I have been secretly planning a weekend trip to Jeju island for you and I." That surely caught you off guard. You barely had any money left after this vacation, you wouldn't be able to afford a trip to Jeju. He wasn't planning on paying for it all by himself, right?

"I mean, that sounds lovely, Hyune." You replied, even if you had some financial disagreements to talk about later. "But it's september! I don't think I'll be walking around in a swimsuit at the beach in this weather. It's getting chilly." The air was quite cold, you've noticed it ever since the morning. The sun didn't have the same strength as a few days ago - but thankfully the heat coming off of the pool was making it bearable to be out just in a swim suit.

"First of all, summer is a feeling, not a season. And second, I'll just get you one for next summer." Next summer - you almost forgot. To Hyunjin, highschool with you was barely yesterday, and next summer should be in two days. A year was nothing to him when he promised you forever.

"Okay." You replied quietly, swooshing the water around with your feet. You were scared to look him in the eyes, because suddenly you felt so vulnerable. You could trust his idea of forever, right?

"Okay!" He replied with a much brighter note. "With that settled, I'll go get changed for our pool adventure." He walked away, leaving you alone with your thoughts, and the subtle smell of the ocean. It was still calling you, but now you could hear it clearer. You could smell it clearer. One more step, one more inch of your skin under the water, and perhaps you could feel it clearer, too.

The wait would have been agonizing if you hadn't made a friend in the moon as soon as you found it in the sky. She - the moon has always been a she to you - was looking absolutely astonishing . For a second, a very silly second, you thought the moon had done a better job at dressing up for a romantic date than you did. You searched around for the evening star as well, the brightest, most beautiful star in the sky. You hoped if the moon was going on a date tonight, it would be with the evening star. For he was a strong man to always keep his light so bright, to always manage to guide the sailors lost in the night-

Hyunjin came back with a few tiny packages in his hand. He was shirtless; and from waist down he wore swim trunks, an ombre from blue, to light blue, to white. With the way the sky was reflected in the pool, you would think he was trying to blend in with the water.

"Choco?" He nudged you, offering you a golden foil. You took one from him happily, and watched him as he took off an elastic band from his wrist to put his hair up in a messy ponytail. The chocolate he offered you was very delicious, and you guessed also probably very fancy. Hyunjin never held back when it came to pleasing the senses. But you wondered, how come he's offering you something sweet? Wasn't the ocean supposed to be salty?

He also ate a chocolate quietly next to you. The silence was getting heavy, which was very odd. Silence was always comforting next to him, but now, the less he spoke the more you felt confused and lost at sea.

"The bouquet ended up in the water." You told him, trying to make any sort of small talk. He hummed, put away the foil of the sweet treat he consumed, and eased himself fully into the pool. As soon as he was in, he let out a soulful sigh. He adored warm water, and you could tell from his body language, from the way his shoulders slumped and his neck craned to stare at the night sky, jaw wide open in admiration - that Hyunjin was in a happy place. Was it just you who was nervous, then?

To your surprise, Hyunjin pushed through the water all the way to the corner where the bouquet was floating about. He picked it up, and began to crush the flowers in his hand so that the petals would fall. He left the stems empty, and then threw them out of the pool. With powerful motions, he made the water roll in waves, so that the petals would scatter throughout the entire pool.

"Now it's just part of the decorum." He said with a giggle. He approached you, and his hand was warm and welcoming when it gently touched your knee. "Forget who they're from." As he beckoned you to join him in the water, you wanted to let those words hypnotize you. Allow the pain to fade to the background.

You join him in the water, and it embraces you like you were meant to be held in someone's arms your entire life. Even though you are surrounded by those petals - those empty promises, those broken parts of your heart - something inside of you is healing. You are no longer putting meaning or significance onto them. They no longer hold you captive. For that tiny moment, everything is as it should be: there is no other place you should have been. No other person you should have been. And no other person - besides your best friend with a dizzying smile - should have accompanied you that night. It was the universe's plan, and no one could be blamed for that.

The universe is vast. As you look up, through the thousands of celestial bodies before you, you can't pin point any to curse in grief and woe. Furthermore, you can't even name this strange feeling of acceptance. It had just appeared in your heart.

"The sky is so beautiful." You mumble, and Hyunjin almost surprises you when he hums. He looks just as awestruck as you do, and you know for a fact he was the one meant to join you. You watch the rise and fall of his chest, the deep breaths he takes as he says absolutely nothing. He is in a trance, and you are entranced by him.

"The moon and stars are shining for you, my love" You hear him say, but it was quiet, like he wasn't sure of his own words.

"For all that is up there, up above,

In the gentle skies of angels and sinners:

The moon rays and the cheeky glimmers," He takes a pause, as if to rest for a heartbeat and let himself smile.

"They're all but lights to make your eyes shine -

And help you see yourself in mine."

"That's beautiful, Hyune." You complimented. You wondered just how many poems he had stored in his mind and heart. Would you need a library pass to find out? "Who's it from?"

"Oh, he's not a published author." He replied cheekily. "Although he wishes he could be." From the shy yet smug look on his face, it was easy to piece it together.

"Did you write it?"

"Mhm."

"Like, on the spot? Just now?"

"Mhm."

You're absolutely insane!" You tell him with a gentle slap to the arm. He giggles and your heart melts. "I swear there's no human being more talented than you." He looks down at the water and something peculiar sparkles in his eyes. Something naughty, like a child being caught doing something he wasn't supposed to and yet he's unaware, he's proud of the mistake he's done.

"Well, it wouldn't be possible without you." You stare at him in confusion. Is he trying to thank you for supporting him and his passion for poetry? For the validation and reassurance you offer him when he works? It goes without question that you would be supporting your best friend- "Do you want me to recite the poem to you again?" You're confused and caught off guard. Frankly you have no idea what is going on, so you just shrug your shoulders awkwardly.

"Sure, I guess."

While Hyunjin has been standing to your side this entire time, leaning back on the edge of the pool, the scented candle between you two, now he moved to stand before you. He was blocking the moon, invading your senses, a dim light hugging his silhouette.

"The moon and stars are shining for you, my love" He's looking in your eyes, and his hands move to grip the edge of the pool on either side of you head. Your lungs are burning.

"For all that is up there, up above" He looks towards the sky for a split second, and then he looks back at you, his eyes clouding with mist.

"In the gentle skies of angels and sinners:" He searches for you hand in the water, and with the most gentle pull, he brings it to his lips to kiss your fingers. A rose petal slips off of you arm and back into the water.

"The moon rays and the cheeky glimmers," He's smiling. He's in his happy place, and yet, you don't know how to accept that the weight of the ocean isn't trying to harm you.

"They're all but lights to make your eyes shine -" Was he seeing the moon in your eyes?

"And help you see yourself in mine." You were in his eyes. You were. It just took you so many years to see it.

"The moon and stars are shining for me?" You ask; you had to make sure. Your hands were shaking, and a chill ran down your spine.

"My love." He completed the lyric, and you were trying so so hard, to find oxygen in your lungs.

This was exactly were you were afraid of - that one step closer, the ocean waves would take you away, and you'd fall into the dark depths - and ultimately drown. "I'm in love with you." You hear him say. "I know you've been through so many emotions already, and this is just not the right time, because I don't wanna seem like I'm taking advantage of the situation and trying to be some sort of savior to you, but I really am in love with you and I can't stand watching you suffer-"

One of your favorite quotes you've ever read, by a person named Irtiqa Nabi, was 'The sea speaks more honestly to those willing to drown'.

You just had to be willing.

You just had to understand.

You don't need the oxygen.

You take one more, final breath and reach out to kiss Hyunjin before he rambled away all night. His hands fly to embrace you, to cradle your face, to shield you with his body.

It was the most terrifying leap of faith you've ever made, but you finally realized the ocean wasn't evil. It wasn't trying to take your life away or rob you of your heart. No, the ocean was this being full of life, full of warmth; he wanted you to dive beyond the surface. He wanted you to uncover his mysteries. And he loved you so much.

"Wait." Hyunjin pulls away, dazed and with unfocused eyes. He bites his lip. "Are you sure about this? Once you allow me to love you, I won't stop. I don't let go." You look up at him and smile. No matter how many times you tell him, it'll never be enough: he's so beautiful. But tonight, something is different. He's exactly how the universe wanted him to be. Exactly where the universe wanted him to be. So naturally, only poetry could describe the beauty of a man who had found his destiny.

"Make me you last love, Hyunjin." You plead, and his eyes fill with both admiration and tears.

"Oh, I will." He cradles you so gently, and yet so tightly. His long fingers are enveloping your face, his body is swallowing yours like the tide, and he kisses you, again and again. And with each one, you gain life, you gather courage, a new constellation is born inside of you. Astrologers could only dream of uncovering all those new-born stars.

He drags you into the middle of the pool, and guides your legs around his waist. He holds you with ease, and from this angle, when you look down at him all you see is joy. But he hides in your neck, and finds another happy place in there.

You rest your head on his shoulder and look up the sky. The moon rose to a higher position, and she looks so calm, so all-knowing as she beams on you. She knew what was going to happen already, and now she was grinning at you slyly.

"Can you see the moon from there?" Hyunjin asks you, and you hum.

"Mhm. But you can't, can you?" It's not like he's trying, his eyes are closed as he cradles you.

"No, just tell her I said hi." You laugh. You wonder just for how long, has the moon known Hyunjin's secret? "I've got my own night sky right here." He says, as he hugs you even tighter, squeezing you to his chest like you're his childhood teddy bear.

"Cheesy." You mutter, but you place a kiss just underneath his ear. That ear begins to burn, and then his whole face is red (that's why he's hiding it away) and Hyunjin thinks he'll never grow used to it. In fact, he promises himself he won't. He promises to always allow himself to be surprised by just how much you mean to him. Over and over again.

Minutes turn to hours, just like days always turned to years around Hyunjin. Eventually you climb out of the pool to not turn into raisins - but you still continue to be tangled with each other, making up for all the kisses you've missed for all those years you've kept each other at arm's length. It feels like a pipe dream to call him yours, to kiss his lips that felt like clouds, look into his eyes that filled with lightning, listen to the words filled with thunder. And yet, his heartbeat still spoke to you in calm waves-

You and Hyunjin jump from your seats at the sound of something loudly popping. You frantically look around for the sound, and you see Jihyo and Luna, holding a confetti tube towards you. The sparkly paper falls to the floor, while some are carried by the wind towards you.

"Congratulations!" The two cheer, and you can't help but snort. Where did they even get confetti from?

"Now that the cat's outta the bag, the asshole is out of the picture and you're finally dating the right guy-" Luna almost sounds like she's rapping while she rambles, and everyone carries amusement on their faces. "And this guy can stop whining in my ear about how much he wants you-" You turn towards Hyunjin in shock, and he tries to make himself small and hide. He fails. "We can finally have some nice, family fun!"

"I thought we agreed you'd let us have the pool tonight!" Hyunjin argues, but Luna tuts in response.

"So I can just watch you two make out from afar? Nah, I wanna see it in person." With the look of an almost psycho, Luna grabs your leg and pulls you into the pool with her. She splashes you wildly in the face, and soon Jihyo and Hyunjin join you in a water fight even a toddler would easily win.

After a while a whole lot of fun, you approach Jihyo for a light conversation while the other two are struggling to inflate a beach ball.

"Have you known for a long time?"

"About Hyunjin's feelings? No, it was Luna who knew. I didn't know until tonight, honestly."

Hyunjin has been confiding in Luna, it seems. She was the only one who knew his secret - or well, maybe she wasn't. You look up at the moon, and then back at Luna, and something seems to make you laugh.

It is very late into the night, and yet you are all still awake. It came to the point where you had to leave the water, but Luna stops in the middle of the hallway and blocks the path.

"Hey, didn't that girl teach you stuff about cleaning the pool and all?"

You didn't even remember her name by this point.

"Yeah, why?"

"So what cleaning supplies should one use, let's say, if the pool becomes dirty with... An entire luggage worth of clothes and stuff?"

"What?" Hyunjin asks, breaking into a wild laugh, but he feels as if he already knows what Luna is about to say.

"Let's throw David's stuff into the pool." You display a look of horror, but when you look at Hyunjin, you see him comically dash into the house.

You're too dazed to even register when the suitcase showed up in front of your face. All three of your peers attacked the zippers like wild hyenas, and soon your ex's clothes are sent flying into the pool.

"Even his underwear is ugly." Hyunjin says, crumpling it into a ball and throwing it as far as he could into the pool. "I'm gonna need hand sanitizer after this."

You start to enjoy it after a while. Sure, you still tell them to not throw anything electric or expensive in there, like his earphones or watch, but you are the one to chuck his toothbrush in the pool and watch it sink to the bottom.

"Revenge is best served wet, baby." Luna pretends to dust off her hands and leaves the scene of the crime with a deadly hair flip.

Giggling like a bunch of school girls, you part ways to go quickly shower the chlorine away from your bodies. Then you reunite, clad in your comfiest pj's, and cuddle to Hyunjin's chest to listen to the sound of the ocean waves.

"Angel?" He calls out to you, and you look at him with hazy eyes. "Would it be weird or overwhelming if I told you I love you?"

"No." You shake your head and giggle. It's not that it was new information to you, but it did hold a new meaning now. A meaning - you found - you were always craving to reciprocate. Why have you been searching for Hyunjin in all of those people, when he was right there with you, petting your hair and making you feel alive?

"And would it be weird or overwhelming if I said that to you every night?"

"No, I would like that actually." You reach up to kiss him. He welcomes it and chases after your lips, and it's such a new high, that you wish it to turn into a habit.

"Okay." He whispers. "I love you."

"I love you." You reply. You don't say 'me too', you don't say 'i love you too'. Because this is not an action that he does and you copy. No, you love him all on your own. It's so crazy, that you love him independently, and he loves you independently, and yet when you're put together, you form the same constellation.

It's a good thing Hyunjin locked the door, because somewhere around five in the morning you got woken up by loud banging on your door, your handle being shaken erratically and an array of swear words. Hyunjin woke up as well, and you both tried to stifle your giggles, because that night you heard swearwords and insults you didn't even know existed.

By afternoon, when you got out of your room, he was completely gone. Turns out he collected his clothes from the pool and left with them soaking in a garbage bag. Luna had snuck out in the morning to record a video of David, trying and failing repeatedly to fish out his clothes with the stick end of a broom. You laughed so hard it brought you to tears, and when you went outside to check, you saw the only thing left, was a chlorine infused toothbrush sitting sad and depressed at the bottom of the pool.

You blocked him and threw away the memory of him into the sea. You knew the sea would be mean to him, drown him out and silence him. Because the universe wanted someone else to love you.

The moon, the stars, and all the eight seas;

They whispered to you that you had found your destiny.

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woah-were-halfway-there · 7 days

Text

The Makeup

aka, The Fight: Pt. 3

a/n: alrightyyyy here's the last part of this bit of the series. i think after this i'll go back to writing the scare when little man is born and mia becoming a big sister if y'all are still wanting to read that :)

word count: 9.3k

“You’re sure you’re ok?” Lexie asked from the other end of the phone. “Do you want me to come to Toronto this weekend? We can do something fun. Get you out of Mitch’s condo and do something other than work.”

“Lexie, I’m fine,” Carson told her best friend while nodding a quick thanks to the Starbucks barista who handed her the drink she ordered. It was nearing the end of her lunch break at work, and this was her last stop before returning to the office. “You’re in Chicago, babe. You don’t have to come all the way here for me.”

“Carson, you’re not fine, so don’t even try to lie to me about it.”

Carson sighed and tried to keep her composure because she didn’t have it in her to cry again.

“I’m trying to be fine, Lex.”

It’d been 13 days since Carson and Auston's fight after she found out he’d been charged and tried keeping it from her. That also meant Carson had been staying with Mitch and Steph for 13 days, and it’d been 13 days since she last spoke to Auston.

Following the fight with Auston, Carson missed a couple of work days as her depression about the situation made her feel like she couldn’t get out of bed. By the end of the work week, she returned to the office only briefly but decided to take an impulse trip to Vancouver to see her dad and sister, Mya and get out of Toronto for a little bit as she navigated her feelings.

After returning from Vancouver three days later, things went back to normal for Carson. Well, as normal as they could.

She went back to work, all while acting like nothing was out of the ordinary and continued staying in the spare bedroom at Mitch and Steph’s place. But she still hadn’t talked to Auston about anything because she didn’t know how.

Carson’s friends and colleagues at work noticed something was up. Gone was the friendly, bubbly girl they came to know and loved having as a new addition to the office, as she became a much quieter and mopey version of herself. To them, it was apparent something had happened, but they didn’t want to overstep if she didn’t want to talk about it.

Two people in that office knew what was happening. Max and Tara worked directly with Carson on the same projects, and in the short month and a half Carson had been working there, she immediately clicked with them. They knew all about Carson’s relationship with Auston, having even met him in a non-work setting when the three of them went out for drinks, and he chatted with them for a little bit before driving himself and Carson home. They knew how absolutely in love Carson and Auston were with each other and how this fight affected Carson.

Max and Tara were Carson’s rock in the office, and despite feeling her chest get heavy while talking on the phone with Lexie, she knew they’d help her get through the rest of the day.

“I know you are, babe,” Lexie spoke softly and sighed, bringing Carson back to reality. “I’m just worried about you. And I miss my best friend.”

“I know, and I appreciate you,” Carson told her honestly. “I miss you too, so freaking much. But I don’t want you to come here while I’m like this. I know you’ve seen me in a worse state, but I’m just trying to decide what I want to do about everything with Auston. This is fucking hard.”

“I still want to give Auston a piece of my mind, but for your sake, I won’t. At least not yet. Have you thought about reaching out to him so you can talk?”

“Of course I have. I miss him, Lex—more than I can explain. I miss him, our conversations, our routine, talking with his family, and the feeling of safety I had being with him. But whenever I think about any of that, I think about how he kept such a big thing from me, and it hurts. I almost cracked and told him I was at the game last week, but I knew he’d want to talk afterwards, and I chickened myself out.”

“I understand,” Lexie sighed again. “But Carse, I’m going to give it to you straight here, okay? If you don’t want to fix things, let Auston know. You also gotta let him know if you want to figure things out. It’s been two weeks, babe. As mad as I am at him for hurting you, I know this entire situation is killing him, too, and I really think he deserves to know where you stand.”

Carson took a moment to respond but slowly nodded her head as she entered the front doors of her office building.

“You’re right,” she agreed. “He’s given me space and been patient. I feel like I’ve been stringing him along, making him wait so long and in the dark. God, I just wish none of this happened.”

“I know, it sucks. But you’ll figure it out, babe. You always do.”

“Thanks, Lexie,” Carson responded and took a deep breath. “I plan on figuring it out soon because I’m over feeling like this. But anyway, I’m almost back in the office, so I've got to go. Love you. I’ll text you tonight.”

“Love you too, girly,” Lexie said. “Keep your head up, and I’ll talk to you later. Bye!”

“Bye!”

Just as Carson hung up her phone and slid it back into her bag, the elevator door opened, and she quickly scanned her pass so she could be taken up to her office floor.

Once she was back at work, Carson was greeted by her coworkers as she passed them and headed toward her office. After she set her bag and iced coffee on the desk, her computer lit up and showed the time. She still had 20 minutes before her lunch was officially over, so she decided that was enough time to eat the last bit of food she had in the fridge.

Max and Tara were still in the breakroom when Carson entered, and she couldn’t help but smile at how it was just the three of them there.

“Carson!” Max greeted her excitedly and waved her over. “You have good fashion taste. Tell me what you think of this sweater. Tara thinks it’s too extra.”

“Let me see,” Carson replied as she grabbed her container of strawberries and joined the other two at the table. Once she was sitting, Max handed her his phone, showing a tie-dye sweater from a website he was looking at. “I like it. Auston has a similar one-.”

Carson immediately cut herself off and shook her head, taken back by her comment. In the last two weeks, she’d only mentioned Auston when talking about what happened. She hadn’t mentioned him in general conversation like she always did before their argument, which didn’t go unnoticed by Max and Tara as they sent each other knowing glances, and Max slowly took his phone back from Carson.

“Well, I doubt something like that would look as good on me as it does on Auston,” he said. “He looks fine in just about anything.”

“Oh, would you stop talking about her man like that? Go find your own to thirst over,” Tara scolded before glancing sideways at Carson and noticing she wasn’t reacting to what they were saying. “Speaking of Auston…”

“Hmm?” Carson hummed, zoning back in on what they were saying.

“Auston, babe,” Max spoke bluntly but softened his voice when Carson looked at him sadly. “Still nothing, huh?”

“No, we haven’t talked,” Carson replied, then stared down at her strawberries, suddenly losing her appetite.

Max and Tara looked at each other again and sighed, knowing full well the toll this was taking on their friend.

“I see you put your necklace back on,” Tara said, nodding to the designer white gold chain around Carson’s neck. “That was a gift from Auston, right?”

“Yeah, it was,” Carson explained as she gently brushed her fingers against the two bands that linked together in the middle, making her love necklace. “He got it for me when I graduated in June. I’d only ever taken it off to have it cleaned before I took it off after our fight. Not having it on felt weird, so I dug it out of my bag to wear it again.”

“I need a man who gifts me, Cartier,” Max tsked, hoping to ease the mood, but regretted it when Carson remained silent. “Carson, honey, is there anything we can do to help?”

“We hate seeing you like this,” Tara added, leaning over to squeeze Carson’s hand. Max quickly joined and placed his hand on top of both of them.

Carson relaxed at their gesture and smiled.

“Sorry, guys,” she responded and took a breath. “Unfortunately, I don’t think much can make me feel better until I talk to him.”

“Understandable,” Max told her with a soft smile. “But also don’t be hard on yourself for taking the time you need to figure out what you want to do.”

“Exactly,” Tara agreed. “If Auston were remotely the type of guy he’s always seemed to be to us, he’d be okay with you taking your time regardless of how he’s feeling.”

“You two always know what to say to make me feel better,” Carson smiled and squeezed both of their hands. “Thank you.”

“We got you,” Max stated.

“Always,” said Tara, patting Carson’s hand before pulling away. “We’ll let you eat your strawberries in peace.”

“OK, guys, I’ll see you out there.”

“And you better actually eat them, or we’ll have issues,” Max threatened as he pushed in his chair and sent Carson a slight glare before following after Tara.

Carson just shook her head as she watched them go, then glanced down at her strawberries again before picking one up and popping it into her mouth.

About 10 minutes later, Carson’s lunchtime was almost over. She stood up from the table and went over to the sink to rinse out her now empty container before heading back to her desk to prep for the remainder of the work day. However, just as she was about to exit the breakroom, she almost ran right into someone.

“I’m sorry,” Carson stammered as she stepped back and looked up to make eye contact with Spencer, another of her coworkers.

“It’s quite alright,” Spencer replied and smiled charmingly. “How are you, Carson?”

“Oh, uh, I’m alright, thanks. How was your weekend?”

“It was good, pretty uneventful.”

Spencer was nice. He had been nothing but friendly toward Carson since she started working in the office, but something just put her off about him. Spencer’s condo wasn’t far from the one she shared with Auston, and for a reason, Carson didn’t understand; he drove to work almost every day and always offered her a ride. Their office was located downtown. Therefore, driving wasn’t always necessary, but Carson would’ve been lying if she didn’t appreciate those rides on days she was running late or the weather was bad.

However, something still rubbed her wrong with him. Spencer was charismatic, meaning he was very good at conversing. He had a way with words and could chat with anyone about anything. But, he also made many comments that had Carson pausing, feeling as though he was hitting on her, which she’d always responded to, making it known she was in a relationship.

Spencer knew she was in a relationship, but there were still times he tested those boundaries, and Carson hated it. She didn’t think this would be one of those times.

“That’s nice,” Carson told him with a smile and internally hoped the conversation would end there. “Anyways, I should probably get back to my desk.”

Carson nodded, and Spencer did the same back, but before she could walk around him, he spoke up again.

“Wait, Carson, before you go, I was hoping I could ask you something.”

“Oh, sure, of course. What’s up?”

“Are you free to get drinks with me today after work?” He asked, making Carson go stiff.

“As colleagues?” Carson hesitantly asked, but she knew better. She was sure Spencer’s intentions weren’t just friendly, but that was a boundary she needed to set.

“I was thinking it could be more like a date if you’re interested.”

“Spencer, no. I have a boyfriend. I’m not interested in you like that at all. I’m sorry.”

Spencer’s entire demeanour changed at that.

“I see,” he said and adjusted his posture, looking slightly more intimidating. “I thought you and the hockey player broke up.”

“I- no, we’re still in a relationship,” Carson explained, despite feeling a little unsure. She and Auston were still together, right?

“You stopped mentioning him, and I noticed you turned the pictures of the two of you on your desk around, so I figured you called it quits.”

There was something about his tone that Carson didn’t like. Maybe it was ignorance. Perhaps it was arrogance. Either way, though, it pissed her off.

“We didn’t break up,” Carson confirmed out loud, mainly to reassure herself. “Things are… rough right now. But we’re still together.”

Spencer scoffed.

“I doubt this will be the only time he hurts you, Carson. Maybe you’re just too naive to see that.”

“And maybe you’re just a dick who made an assumption and then got his ego hurt by a girl who is not and will never be interested in him.”

Spencer blinked, surprised at how she snapped at him, but didn’t say anything.

“This conversation is over,” Carson continued, seething. “But before I go, just know that if you attempt to corner me or anyone in the office like this again, I’ll ensure HR knows all about it.”

Nothing else could be said, so Carson stepped around him and wasn’t stopped.

Part of her wanted to cry as she beelined for her office. She was annoyed and frustrated with the situation, but one thought was prominent in everything she felt: her desire to talk to Auston.

The remainder of Carson’s work day went by quickly despite an anxious nagging feeling she had. Spencer kept his distance while Max and Tara promptly addressed the tension between him and Carson, but not in a way Spencer would hear it. Tara immediately messaged in the group chat with Max and Carson, asking what happened, which Carson filled them in on. She ended the conversation by admitting that the ordeal with Spencer made her want to talk to Auston because she hated not knowing where they stood.

Carson then internally admitted that although she was still hurt and upset with Auston, she still loved him and wanted to be with him. But she didn’t know how to go about it. For all she knew, Auston thought she was overreacting and didn’t want to wait for her to come back around. Of course, she didn’t want to believe that could happen, but Carson’s brain could be so damn mean to her sometimes.

But that’s what she needed to remind herself. Her brain was just mean. There was no way for Carson to know the future of her and Auston’s relationship if she didn’t talk to him. It wasn’t fair to Auston or herself to make assumptions and let that scare her away without first talking to him about it.

Her mind was scrambled, so Max and Tara convinced her to leave the office early and have time to collect her thoughts in a place that wasn’t the office. Carson was hesitant to leave early, but she had completed everything she needed to do that day before her lunch break and got a head start on some other things despite feeling all jumbled. About an hour went by, and she was still on the fence about leaving, but that changed when Spencer went to the photocopier that directly viewed Carson’s office despite a different photocopier being closer to the break room and his office.

Carson went stiff when she saw him walk by and didn’t miss the way he looked into her office as he went. He said nothing, but Carson was not up for playing any of his petty little games. So, after sending a message to her supervisor explaining all the work she’d completed that day and asking if it was alright if she went home early, Carson wasted no time packing up her things and leaving the office once told it was okay to leave. She didn’t even look in Spencer’s direction as she stormed out of her office, only stopping to say bye to Max and Tara and waving at those she passed on her way out.

When Carson arrived at Mitch and Steph’s condo, it was quiet. She knew Steph had things to do that day, meaning her friend probably wasn’t home, but she wasn’t sure about Mitchy.

The Leafs played against St. Louis that night, so it was likely that her cousin was home having a pregame nap before he had to get ready to go to the arena. Carson glanced at her watch to see it was nearing three in the afternoon. Therefore, it’d be odd if Mitch wasn’t home, so she tried her best to be quiet as she took off her heels before heading to the guest room to put her work things in there and maybe watch a show. However, she didn’t make it far when a familiar brown lab entered the hallway and rushed toward her excitedly.

“Hi, Zeusy boy,” Carson quietly greeted the dog as she crouched to his level and scratched behind his ears. “Is your dad sleeping?”

“Nah, I’m right here,” Mitch said as he entered the hallway. He was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts, and his hair was dishevelled, showing that he had been lying down.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Mitchy. Did I wake you up?”

“No, you’re good. I was just scrolling on my phone. You’re home early, though. Everything alright?”

“Uh, yeah,” Carson mumbled as she stood back up and smoothed her blouse. “I finished all of my work early and have a really good start on the stuff I have to do for the rest of the week. I just have a lot of stuff on my mind. I know I’m not in the office for the rest of the week now because my boss is away, but I didn’t want to be there anymore today. ”

“I see,” Mitchy responded, then narrowed his gaze at his cousin, knowing something was bothering her. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Of course, she wanted to talk to her twin about everything bugging her, but Carson didn’t want to bother Mitch with her problems.

“No, no, it’s ok. You have to start getting ready soon anyway. I think I’m just going to curl up and watch a show. Have a chill night in.”

“Carson.”

The look Mitch gave her as he crossed his arms showed that he wasn’t impressed by her answer, which made Carson sigh.

“Fine,” she huffed. “Let me change into something comfy, and then I’ll tell you.”

Mitch smirked at her triumphantly before calling for Zeus to follow him to the living room, and Carson went to the guest room. A few minutes later, she emerged in the hallway again wearing a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, then made her way to the living room and curled up on the couch next to her best friend.

Carson spent the next few minutes telling Mitch what happened with Spencer at the office, including the back story of how he’d been flirty before despite knowing she was in a relationship. She then explained what Spencer said after she turned him down and what was on her mind afterwards.

“First off, fuck that guy,” Mitch said once Carson finished her spiel.

“I know, he sucks,” Carson agreed, then took a sip of the water bottle Mitch had grabbed for her.

“I’m glad you put him in his place, but it wouldn’t hurt to report him to HR or something, Carse.”

“I know, I’m going to tomorrow. I don’t want him to make anyone else in the office feel like I did today.”

“Good,” Mitchy replied, nodding his head, then stopping and glancing at his cousin again. “And you think you want to talk to Auston again now?”

Carson sighed.

“Yeah, I do. I miss him, Mitchy, and I need to know where we stand. It’s just frustrating because I still don’t know what I feel or what to do, but I know I need to talk to him. How is he? Is he good?”

“Matts? I mean, yeah, he’s alright. Same old now that the season has started. Not much else is going on at the moment. He asks about you a lot, though. Every day I see him, actually. He misses you too, Carse. I don’t want you to think he doesn’t. But, you gotta do what you think is best for you.”

“But I don’t know if what I want is what’s best for me,” Carson stressed, pushing her hair away from her face as she inhaled. “And that’s the thing. Can I trust Auston again after keeping such a big thing from me? I may have never known if the media didn’t get their hands on the information. Although part of me wishes I was as oblivious to the fact as I was two weeks ago, I still can’t believe it even happened and knowing that it did is a lot. But this is something I’d want to know. I just- how many other significant things hasn’t he told me? Is it too naive of me to want to think he wouldn’t keep something like this from me again?”

“It was extremely dumb for him not to tell you,” Mitch started. “It was even more ridiculous for him to do what he did, whether it was a drunken mistake or not. I will say, though, Auston seems to be learning from it. He’s trying, and that’s really all anyone can ask for. Of course, it doesn’t improve the situation, but he’s being cooperative. And I know one thing he really wants to fix is his relationship with you as he navigates moving forward from this. However, if you don’t think that’s best for you, you’ve gotta listen to that. I can’t see you tearing yourself up because of a relationship again, Carse. I’ve already made Auston clear of my feelings about the situation, and we’re okay now, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to say, ‘Yes, you two should figure things out and not break up.’ I love you and Auston together and am always rooting for you guys, but I’ll always care most about your happiness. You’re my best friend. And if you think Auston is who will still make you the happiest, you can’t let anyone make you think otherwise. If you can forgive him, great. But if not, I’ll still be in your corner and we’ll figure it out.”

Carson stayed silent for a moment, processing Mitch’s words. She inhaled deeply, reached up to wipe away a tear that broke free from her watering eyes, and then sniffled before looking back at her cousin.

“I wish I knew what to do, Mitchy. I wish I could go back to him and not be afraid he’d hurt me like this again. And I know I may have overreacted when all of this happened, but it was like being slapped in the face. I was blindsided, and now I feel like I’m in a hole. I don't know how to escape.”

“I know,” Mitch told her softly. “But I think you gotta do what you told me when we started this conversation, and that’s talk to Auston. You won’t know what you want regarding your relationship with him if you don’t.”

“You’re right,” Carson agreed. “I just have to build the courage to reach out to him. It should probably be soon, though, huh?”

“Carson, let me tell you it has been so pathetic seeing him mope over you,” Mitchy stated, making Carson cover her mouth, attempting to hide her chuckle. “Like good, he should know he fucked up, but Auston is so miserable because he misses you, and I can’t even tease him about it because the nice guy in me doesn’t want to make him feel worse.”

“Wow, how considerate of you,” Carson teased while Mitch nudged her with his shoulder. Carson pushed back, but soon enough, they stopped, and Carson leaned her head onto her cousin's shoulder. “Thanks for always looking out for me, Mitchy.”

“Gotta make sure my twin is always okay,” he responded, leaning his head against hers. “Like your mom used to say, it’s the two of us against the world.”

“It is. And I’m lucky to have you as my best friend backing me up every step of the way.”

“You really are stuck with me.”

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Carson chuckled, then sat up again so she could look at Mitch. “But, you need to start getting ready, or else you’ll be late.”

“Shit, you’re right,” Mitch stated, quickly getting off the couch to gather his things. “You’re coming to the game tonight, no?”

“I don’t think so, Mitchy. I’m going to watch from here with Zeus. I don’t want to be back there just yet.”

“OK, fair. You’re welcome to join us after the game, though. Steph will want you there. I can give you a heads up if Auston comes out or not, too.”

“I appreciate it, but I’m ok,” Carson insisted. “I think I’m going to watch the game from here and think about what to do.”

“Alright. Promise to update me if anything happens or you decide you do want to come out?”

“I promise. Now go get ready.”

Mitch was ready and out of the condo within half an hour. Once he was gone, Carson put on Netflix and watched an episode of her show with Zeus before Steph got home. She was in a rush, too, having to get ready since she was going to the game that night with some of the other girlfriends. She tried multiple times to convince Carson to join her, but Carson was adamant about having an evening to herself, which Steph respected.

“I know you don’t want to come, but you’re sure there’s nothing I can do before I leave?” Steph asked as she battled with zipping up one of the tall boots she decided to wear that evening.

“I’m sure, Steph. You and Mitch have done enough for me,” Carson told her. “Go have fun tonight.”

“I’d have more fun if you came with me,” the blonde pouted, making Carson roll her eyes and smile at the dramatics. “But it’s fine, I’m fine. I’m sure Zeusy will love having you to hang out with.”

“The feeling is mutual.”

Carson then began scratching behind Zeus’ ears, which earned her a content noise from the chocolate lab before Steph spoke again.

“Ok. I’m going. You know to help yourself to any food or whatever, but please text me if you need anything or change your mind about coming.”

“You know I will,” Carson told her honestly. “I’ll watch from here and see you when you’re back tonight.”

“Ok, ok, I won’t press you anymore,” Steph said as she came over to give Zeus some love before leaving. “Alright, actually going now. Love ya!”

“Love ya too, have fun!”

And with that, it was just Zeus and Carson watching another episode of her show before it was game time.

Soon enough, the game started, and Carson hated that seeing Auston on the TV screen was still enough to feel a pang in her chest, but there was no arguing, just how much she missed him. As the game went on, Carson found herself paying more attention to Auston whenever the camera showed him than she did to the actual game, and before she knew it, the game was over.

The Leafs lost to the Blues, but Carson kept the channel on as post-game media started. She watched Will and Freddie do interviews and then felt her breath hitch when Auston came on the screen again. Hearing his voice answer questions about the game really hit her. It’d been almost two weeks since she last heard it, yet it still soothed her. She watched the entire interview, noticing how, along with the silver chain Auston wore around his neck, he was also wearing the Cartier love necklace that matched the one she wore. Both pieces of jewelry peaked out from Auston’s shirt, but when reporters kept bombarding him with questions, Carson noticed how he reached up to fiddle with the love necklace, gently rubbing his thumb over the two circles that linked in the middle.

It was then Carson decided she needed to talk to him as soon as possible. She wasn’t beating around the bush anymore; she knew they needed to speak, and there was no point in pushing it back then chickening out. But, as she waited to reach out to Auston, hoping he was home, her nerves returned, and she started convincing herself it wasn’t a good idea.

Carson’s heart pounded as she glanced at her phone again from where it lay between her and Zeus on the couch and debated what to do.

It was nearing 10:30pm. It had been over an hour since the game ended, and Carson knew Mitch and Steph wouldn’t return home immediately. Instead, they had plans to go out with some of the other guys and their girlfriends since the Leafs didn’t play for another few days. Mitch and Steoh invited Carson to join again, but she declined because she felt uncomfortable being the odd one out.

Carson didn’t know if Auston went with the group. There was a good chance that he did, and that was feeding into her debate about not calling him, but she wanted to. She needed to talk to him.

So, with a deep breath to calm her heart, Carson unlocked her phone. She opened the messages app and didn’t need to scroll to find her conversation with her boyfriend.

Carson felt like the wind was knocked out of her when she saw Auston’s name with the red heart emoji beside it and the photo of them in Arizona that past summer set as his contact picture. That feeling didn’t go away as she glanced at the text thread between them.

Despite not properly talking for almost two full weeks, Auston still messaged her every one of those days since their fight, saying that he loved her, missed her, was sorry and hoped she had a good day. The day after their fight, he still tried calling in hopes that Carson would pick up, but during his talk with Mitch, he was reminded that his constant calling was a bit overwhelming for her as she navigated her feelings about the situation. So, Auston opted to send texts.

Carson didn’t read or respond to any of those texts when she received them, but she found comfort as she scrolled through and read each one at that moment. In the days following their argument, she didn’t know what to think or feel, but receiving those texts made her feel normal. They were part of her routine, and although it was hard for her not to read them or respond, Carson thought she couldn’t until she knew what she wanted to say. Auston continued to send those messages despite her ignoring them, showing that he still cared and was willing to be patient with her like he always had been for the entirety of their knowing each other.

This was why Carson decided it was her turn to be patient with him and hear him out in a calmer setting than the last conversation they had almost two weeks prior. So, with another deep breath, she tapped his name at the top of the screen and hit the call button when it popped up.

It didn’t even take two full rings for him to pick up.

“Carse?” Auston’s voice sounded through the phone, making Carson’s breath hitch again. God, she missed him so much.

“H-hey,” Carson stammered before pausing in an attempt to recollect herself. “How are you?”

“I, uhm, I’m okay,” he responded, sounding surprised and as if he was still processing that he was talking to her. “Busy with hockey stuff, same old. How are you?”

“I’ve been better, and I’m sure you are. I still can’t believe you’ve got that ‘A’ on your jersey now, Aus. You deserve it. I was so proud seeing it for the first time in person during the home opener.”

“You were at that game?”

Carson nodded, even though he couldn’t see it.

“Yeah,” she almost whispered. “Mitch and Steph were trying to convince me to go 'cause I was originally going to watch from their place, but I didn’t decide until the last minute to actually go. So, I bought a ticket and went alone.”

“I wish you had told me,” Auston told her softly, which pulled on her heartstrings. “I would’ve wanted to know that you were there.”

“I know, but I didn’t know how Auston. Just seeing you out there made me so happy but so sad at the same time.”

Auston sighed at that.

“Carson, please know how sorry I am. I’ve spent the last two weeks beating myself up so much over this, and not saying I don’t deserve it, but fuck. I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too,” Carson admitted, deciding there was no need to hide her feelings from him.

“Is that why you called?” Auston asked, his voice a mix of unsureness and hopefulness.

“It is. I, um, I know it’s late, but are you home? Maybe I could come over, and we can talk.”

“Yes, please. I just got back. Please come home er-, I mean over. Do you want me to pick you up?”

“No, it’s okay,” Carson responded quickly, not wanting to be in such close proximity to him until she was at the condo. “Thank you, though.”

“Then, at the very least, let me order an Uber over here for you,” Auston suggested, not missing a beat.

“Auston, you don’t have to do that.”

“I insist. Please let me order it. I’d feel better if I could make sure you get here safely. Would they be picking you up from Mitch’s?”

“Ok,” Carson sighed in defeat. “And yes, it’s just Zeusy and me here.”

“Ok, perfect,” Auston said. “It says they’ll be there in five minutes. Is that too soon?”

“No, that’s great. I’ll put on my shoes and head downstairs.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you soon. Love you.”

“Love y-,” Carson started but immediately cut herself off, then internally cursed herself because who was she kidding? Of course, she still loved him. “I’ll see you soon. Bye, Auston.”

Once she hung up the phone, Carson wasted no time getting off the couch and rushing to the front door to get her sneakers on.

“I’m sorry, Zeusy,” Carson muttered to the lab, who was rudely awoken from his slumber when she stood up but was still happy as he trailed after her. Zeus looked up at her expectantly, thinking he was going outside with her, and Carson felt terrible for leaving him behind, wasting no time to crouch down and pet him after her sneakers were on. “I know. I’m the worst for not taking you outside again, even though I did an hour ago. But how about I give you a treat? Will that make up for it?”

Zeus’ tail started wagging at that, so Carson quickly stood up straight again and ran into the kitchen to grab him a treat. Then, with one final pet goodbye, she rushed out the door.

As Carson waited for the elevator, she texted Mitch and Steph to tell them she was going over to Auston’s to talk because she knew they’d come back wondering where the hell she had gone otherwise. Both were quick to text back.

“Good luck, babe. Let me know how it goes,” read Steph’s message.

“Are you sure? Are you staying there? I’ll wait up so you can tell me what’s going on,” Mitch texted back, making Carson smile at the difference between the two messages. They both cared but in very different ways.

She messaged them each back, saying she’d keep them posted, then entered the elevator and went to the lobby. Upon seeing her reflection in the mirror that covered the elevator wall, Carson made an unimpressed noise. The thought of changing hadn’t even crossed her mind as she rushed out of Mitch’s condo, but she sure didn’t love that the first time she talked to Auston in person in two weeks, she’d be wearing an oversized hoodie and sweatpants. Carson quickly reached up to take her long brown hair out of the messy bun it was in and tried to make it look presentable, but then remembered Auston wouldn’t care about her looking like that. He’d seen her in similar outfits over the almost three years they’d been in a relationship.

Carson knew she didn’t need to impress him but still wished she looked a little better than she did.

Once the elevator reached ground level, Carson inhaled as she stepped off and entered the lobby. Her phone buzzed with a text, and she was half expecting it to be Mitch or Steph, but it was Auston letting her know the details about the car that was picking her up. Carson replied to his message this time and let him know she saw the car was waiting outside. Auston asked her to tell him when she was in the car and when she got to their condo so he knew everything was alright, and Carson promised she would.

When she entered the Uber waiting outside, the driver expressed his surprise after Carson confirmed they were picking up a rider named Auston.

“Not going to lie, I thought I was picking up Auston Matthews, the Leafs player, for a minute when I saw the name,” the driver explained, and Carson had to contain the smile she felt tugging at her lips.

“No, sorry, just me,” she responded, chuckling but not telling them she was indeed on her way to see the Auston Matthews.

“That’s alright, maybe another time,” the driver teased, then turned their focus back to the road as they drove.

It was a short drive. In all honesty, Carson had walked to and from the two condo buildings many times before, but with it being so late, she didn’t want to be out walking alone. She also knew that if she’d even mentioned the thought of walking, Auston would’ve shut the idea down immediately. The Uber driver didn’t ask questions about the short trip either and made small talk, ironically about the Leafs, since that was the first thing they and Carson had discussed.

A few minutes later, after thanking her driver and getting out of the car, Carson was standing outside the condo building that she began calling home a little over a month prior. Another wave of nervousness hit her, but she quickly shook it off as she entered the building.

She got into the building easily, still having her keys and fob to allow her access. The concierge at the front desk recognized her, nodding and smiling as she walked by and went straight for the elevator to take her to her and Auston’s floor.

Carson almost walked right into the condo out of force of habit once she arrived at the door. However, her nagging thoughts made her stop just before she could and opted to knock instead. It didn’t take long for Auston to open the door.

He looked good, really good. He was clad in a simple outfit, a black Raiders sweater and a pair of grey sweatpants that Carson always complimented on how good they made his butt look. His hair was a little damp still from his postgame shower, and a shadow of a beard was growing, showing it’d been some time since he last shaved. Carson stood there in silence momentarily, just taking in being in the presence of her boyfriend once again.

“Hey,” Auston spoke up, snapping Carson from her trance. She didn’t realize how tense she was until she felt herself relax just by being so close to him again.

“Hi,” Carson replied, her voice already cracking. Tears immediately pooled in her eyes, suddenly reminding her of all the emotions she’d felt since the last time she and Auston spoke.

“Oh, Carse.”

It didn’t require any thinking. The moment Auston saw those tears, he stepped towards Carson and pulled her into his embrace. The gesture felt so natural. Carson immediately melted into his touch and wrapped her arms around his middle in a tight embrace while instinctively hiding her face against his chest, letting the familiar scent of his favourite body wash surround her.

“I missed you,” she whispered after the two of them stood there holding each other for a moment.

“I’ve missed you more than I’ve ever missed anything in my life, Carson,” Auston replied, not missing a beat while tightening his squeeze around her. “I don’t want to open my eyes right now because what if I do and you’re not actually here? And this was just a fever dream?”

Carson couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped her mouth as she shook her head, still pressed against his chest, and then finally moved back and looked at him. Still, neither of them unwrapped their arms from around the other.

“I’m here. And we need to talk, Auston.”

“I know, I know,” Auston spoke softly as he finally let go of Carson, but only to reach up so he could cup her cheeks and use his thumbs to wipe away her tears. “God, I’m so happy to see you. But, you’re right. Let’s go inside so we can talk.”

Carson nodded in agreement and let her arms fall from Auston’s waist to her sides again, but Auston was quick to reach down his right hand and link it with her left hand, squeezing it after Carson intertwined their fingers, then leading her into the condo.

Once inside, Carson glanced around after she took her shoes off and walked further inside, not sure what she was expecting. Not a thing was changed. The same fluffy grey throw blanket she bought was still on the couch except instead of it being draped over the side neatly, it was bunched up and tossed to the side, indicating Auston had been using it. Her gaze then drifted to the walls and nearby bookshelf, which still had the same pictures of her and Auston and others of them with their friends and families displayed. On the bookshelf was her collection of books and trinkets she adored and the TV showed the paused episode of The Office Auston must’ve been watching when she called.

Carson felt at home again for the first time in two weeks and it was a perfect feeling.

“Uhm, can I get you water or anything?” Auston asked after a moment of observing Carson look around their living room, not missing how a small smile tugged at her lips as she did so.

“I’m alright, thank you,” Carson replied as she shook her arms so the sleeves of her sweater would fall since she’d pushed them up in the Uber. The sweater was large on her and it showed in the way the sleeves covered most of her hands. She then began to fiddle with and rub the hem of the sleeve between her fingers, something she tended to do when she felt uneasy or anxious. Auston knew that and wished she wasn’t feeling such a way, but mostly wished she didn’t feel that way because of him.

“Of course. Should, uh, should we sit?”

“Yeah, let's.”

The two of them made their way to the couch and sat down next to each other. It was a comfortable distance, but there was still a noticeable space between them which felt a thousand times bigger to Auston. He hated it. If it were up to him Carson would be right next to him with her legs over his thighs, both cuddled under the throw blanket as she told him about her day and he played with her hair while listening. He was yearning but was brought back to reality when Carson spoke again.

“I think you should start.”

“R-right,” Auston stuttered, shaking his little daydream from his head but not being able to hide how lost in his thoughts he got momentarily. However, he knew exactly what he wanted to say, he’d been thinking about it for almost two weeks. “You’re right. And I’m just going to start with how sorry I am, Carse. I’m sorry for what I did in Arizona and how it affected someone because of my ignorance and stupid drunk actions. I’m sorry that when me and you last talked, I didn’t take ownership of how I messed up. I know that what I did wasn’t ok. I wish I could take it all back. And I’m sorry that during all of this, I hurt you. I should’ve been honest with you about the charge as soon as it happened. It’s not an excuse, but I was embarrassed and didn’t want you to be ashamed of me. I told my family I would tell you, which is why they didn’t say anything, but I was a coward. It’s not that I didn’t trust you whatsoever, Carson. I trust you with everything I have, I was just stupid and thought I could ignore what happened. That it wouldn’t matter and I could move on with life normally. I should’ve known better. I made a huge mistake and I’m learning from it. I know I’m better than this, but I want to learn from it so I can move forward properly and nothing like this ever happens again. I don’t expect you to fully forgive me right away either, but you make me a better person. I know I can learn a lesson and grow from this. But, I really want you by my side as I do, if you’re still willing.”

Carson was so tired of crying, but she couldn’t stop the tears flowing as she hung on to every word Auston said to her. This conversation was already so different from the last one they had. She could tell the toll everything was taking on him and knew the weight of it all was crushing. But, he was taking full responsibility, seemingly accepting that this all happened on his own accord.

“I’m proud of you, Auston,” Carson spoke softly as she wiped her tears away with the sleeves of her sweater. “I feel like I’m having a conversation with a completely different person than I did two weeks ago.”

Auston felt good hearing that. During their fight, Carson voiced that she didn’t feel like she was talking to the man she loved. That, in that moment, he didn’t feel like home anymore to her, which hit Auston hard because Carson would always say it didn’t matter where they were as long as they were together, because he was her home. Hearing her say that was what pushed him over the edge that night truly realizing how badly he fucked up, but it was too late. Carson was already heading out the door and Auston couldn’t stop her.

“It shows me that you are learning from this and that’s really good,” she continued. “You owe that to that woman you distressed. But also the team, the fans, your family and yourself.”

“I owe it to you, too.”

“I appreciate you saying that, but this isn’t about me. However, that does lead me to talk about us.”

Carson paused to take a breath, already feeling herself get emotional again, but was soon met by Auston gently linking their hands together and stroking his thumbs over her knuckles. When she didn’t pull away, Auston gave her hands a reassuring squeeze.

“When I found out you kept something so significant away from me, I was hurt,” Carson said. “I felt betrayed, but also shocked because I never ever thought I’d feel the way I did and you being the one that caused it. I felt everything we built together, was a lie. Our castle was crumbling down because it seemed like you couldn’t trust me and I wasn’t sure I could trust you to not keep important things from me again. It was devastating feeling that way about the man I love more than anything in this world. We’re partners, Auston. And you didn’t treat me like one doing that.”

“I know, and again, I am so sorry, Carson. I never wanted you to feel that way and I feel terrible for being the reason you did. I-I can’t blame you for leaving,” Auston’s voice trailed off at the end of his sentence as he felt the words getting stuck in his throat. “Watching you walk out that door was one of the worst nights of my life. You’re my rock and suddenly that was gone and it was all my fault. I hardly slept not knowing when or if you’d come back, but I had to keep hoping, praying that you would. Part of me convinced myself Mitch was going to tell me that you weren’t coming back ever and I don’t know what I would’ve done if he did. I was a mess, I still am. These last two weeks have been hell and I deserved it. And I’m not saying this to guilt you into making a decision now, but Carse, if you did want to leave and not come back to this, us, I need to know. The not knowing is killing me. I don’t want to lose you, but I need to know if I have.”

Carson inhaled deeply again.

“The thing about these last two weeks, with how upset and angry I was at myself and you and the situation, not once did I think I no longer wanted to be with you. I love you, Auston. I knew I didn’t want to break up, but I wasn’t sure if staying in a relationship with you was what would be best for me. I fell into a depressive hole myself. I never thought I’d feel that low because of you and I wasn’t sure if I could forgive and move on or if this would have me feeling I could never trust you again. I can’t let myself get this destroyed by the person who is supposed to be my partner again, not after my ex. But, Auston, you are not him. You never will be him and that’s why, even with the space we’ve had since our fight, I knew I’d be coming back to you. I love you too fucking much to not even try to work through this and move forward together. I don’t want you to think we’re over because of this.”

Auston didn’t realize just how many tears had welled in his eyes until he let out a relieved sigh and smiled, allowing a couple of those tears to break free and stream down his face.

“You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that,” he said and squeezed her hands again.

“You have no idea how badly I needed to get that off my chest and actually tell you,” she replied and let out a small laugh at how emotional they both were. “God, we’re such messes.”

“I’ll accept being the biggest mess ever to exist if it means you’ll be by my side as I clean myself up.”

“Well, I can tell you that I’m not going anywhere. I mean it, Auston. You haven’t lost me.”

“Thank, God,” Auston sighed, feeling like so much weight had been lifted off his chest. “We’re good?”

“We’re good,” Carson confirmed, smiling as Auston let go of her hands and then held his arms out. She was quick to launch herself into his embrace and hold on for dear life while he fell back onto the couch cushion and she laid on top of him, feeling the safest and most content she had in weeks. “I’m glad to be home.”

“I’m never going to give you a reason to feel like you have to leave home again, Carse. That’s a promise.” Auston declared as he kissed the top of her head and started playing with her hair. “I love you, Carson.”

“And I love you, Auston,” Carson replied as she moved her head from Auston’s chest so she could look at him.

The two lay there for a moment looking at each other as Auston continued playing with Carson’s hair, debating his next move. He couldn’t help the way his gaze drifted to her lips, missing the way they felt against him so badly. He wanted nothing more than to cup her cheek with his hand and close the small gap between them with the kiss he craved. However, even though Auston knew he and Carson were good, he also knew they weren’t back to normal. Things being normal again would take time and Auston was ok with that. It didn’t matter how much time it may take because he had his love back and he wasn’t going to take any chances with anything that could push her away again.

Much to Auston’s pleasant surprise, though, Carson was the one to delicately place her hand under his chin and tilt it up before crashing her lips against his in a sweet, intimate kiss.

As soon as their lips met, Auston deepened the kiss as he wrapped his arm around her and rolled them over so that Carson’s back would be on the couch and he was on top. He used one arm to hold himself up and keep most of his weight off of her while his other hand cupped her cheek and jaw to prevent the kiss from breaking, finally getting what he had spent the last two weeks yearning for.

After a few moments of kissing, they pulled away to look at each other and laugh at how out of breath they both were. But that didn’t stop Auston from leaning in and stealing one more kiss.

“Will you stay over tonight?” He asked softly, not wanting her to feel pressured if she wasn't ready to come back home fully yet. “It’s an off day tomorrow and Mitch mentioned you weren’t going into the office, we could go get your work stuff from his place in the morning then come back here and have a lazy day together. Only if you want to, of course.”

“I would love that,” Carson replied, then pecked his lips again. “Let me tell Mitch and Steph I won’t be back tonight first, then can we go to bed? I’m exhausted.”

“Of course, beb.”

After they untangled themselves from each other and Carson texted Mitch and Steph to say she was staying, she and Auston turned off the lights before heading to the bedroom together. Carson felt so good after changing into a pair of her pyjamas she grabbed them from the dresser and then crawled into her bed after a long, almost two weeks. The best part, though, was being back in that bed with Auston. He felt better too having Carson in his embrace again as he fought to stay awake, wanting to make sure she fell asleep first. Once she did, Auston let his tiredness take over him too and both he and Carson had one of the best sleeps of their lives, together again.

#auston matthews fanfiction #auston matthews imagines #auston matthews imagine #nhl imagines #nhl headcanon #nhl fanfiction #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #hockey rpf #hockey writing #nhl headcanons

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luvring · 4 months

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Monster mhin headcannons???? Or just mhin headcannons in general I've been starving with the lack of mhin content lately

MHIN HCS 3

gn!reader | mhin time! :3 i'm going to let the knowledgeable and big brained people mostly take care of monster mhin bc I fear a girl like me is silly and less capable...

as for my limited monster thoughts it'd be nice if their first transformation was done to protect you rather than an involuntary thing and letting it act as a symbol for your growing relationship. but Who Knows at this point

i assume there's some level of lost conscience when they transform So if there's a scene where some part of them refrains from hurting you I Will Start Eating Tree Bark.

Oh...and a scene where they've transformed back and you try to help them...them flinching and confused (though their voice comes out angry? frustrated? at first) about why you haven't run away....letting you cover them and bandage their injuries... 😵‍💫

moving on. they're on the verge of if not threatening people when it comes to co-op games like pico park or heave ho, especially if they're playing with people like vere and ais. no one's ever heard them speak this much someone needs to get them out of there

window seat enjoyer :-)

secretly enjoys when you send posts that remind you of them. the first few times they're like ? what do i do with this. but learn to appreciate it even if they don't actually reply in chat (sometimes if you're like "this is u" and it's Too accurate mhin's like Can you stop no it isn't (yes it is))

"when you're complaining about someone and your best friend is meaner" or however that trend goes. that's them. very direct with saying that person sounds like shit and you should stop talking to them

mhin may not like big, loud festivals, but i think they'd enjoy celebrating things with you alone ^^ maybe eating their favourite dish (tang yuan?)....it'd mean a lot to have someone to share with again

also!! having it for the first time and them mentioning their family and the last time they had it with people... the intimacy of it all...

and !! they reciprocate it!! they do!! they take note of any festivities you say you like, especially one that you wish you could celebrate or haven't in a long time. whether it's cultural, your birthday, your pet's birthday—mhin plans something for you and 'offers' to spend time together that day if you'd like. 'offers' as in shows up and mentions they'll be free some time in the conversation

^ more for the beginning of a relationship (platonic or romantic)... it'll take time, they'd be more direct eventually!

they care for you quietly and by...noticing. folding your laundry and putting it away when they know you're busy. picking up your favourite snacks when they notice you're running out. automatically getting ready to catch you or pull you back when the time calls for it. watching you from across the room at a party and noting where you are and how long you've been gone. that kind of deal

mhin's wary and off-put by being spoiled, but if you're stubborn enough, you'll find them using whatever you got pretty regularly. for example they'll tell you they don't Need a new softer comfier blanket, theirs is Fine, but then the one you buy is the only one they ever want to use. they will pretend like it isn't a big deal if you try to tease them about it

they don't like reading things online and would rather have a physical book. not that i'm projecting or anything of course. they take care of them too and don't lend them to just anybody

i think mhin has actual bookmarks, or would at least like them. they might also use a receipt to mark their page but won't fold the corners...

they always put books back where they found them at the library/book store. if they find one in the wrong section, they'll put it in the right place themself

they can get upset, but don't cry super easily, but that's mostly because they've gotten used to suppressing their emotions. they do their best to channel it into anger instead

mhin isolating themself when they're upset,, conflicted over wanting to be happy and letting themself drown in the sadness. but in the end they hope and survive and will continue to do so

hmm... keeps information of their family and history close to them, but at some point i do think they'd (bittersweetly) share stories with quiet fondness

mhin seems like a silver jewelry kind of person but i just think they'd look really nice with gold earrings while pushing their hair behind their ear...

they see You in formal attire for the first time and keep trying to glance at you the entire night btw. they might not take initiative to compliment you, but if you ask if you look alright, they'll say yes you look nice

...? likes earphones more than headphones. can't tell you why i feel this way

light sleeper. i think. they always know when you can't sleep and they'll stay up with you. if you say you'll go sleep somewhere else so you don't bother them, they're like ..? no.

...affectionate mhin....NOOOOO... it takes so long for them to reach that point it's literally like when a cat finally trusts you and lies next to you/on your lap You Cannot Move Now. You're both obligated to stay here and don't Want to do Anything else.

like imagine cuddling them and they hug you back and their grip tightens in their sleep when you shift around. mhin burying their face into your neck and taking a deep breath. please

if you're an introvert and you both finally get home after a long day out, it's just like. Thank god. and i think they'd understand if you'd rather spend time alone to recover ^^ but depending on the crowd there will be a gossip/complaint session at some point

mhin is one of the top LI's for me when it comes to scenes of like, fixing their collar/clothes. the intimacy of them clasping your necklace, the tension and bated breath because you've never been this close. the surprise on their face when you reach to fix their hood etc.

they enjoy sneaking up on you. they end up in some corner of the room and while you're scanning the crowd to look for them, they suddenly speak from behind you. there's a hint of an amused smile when you jump

@semifilms @mitskiologist @sweet-milky-tea705 hiii

#touchstarved game #touchstarved #mhin #mhin x reader #thinking of kyo from fruits basket transformation... being recognized and loved despite it all....NAOOOOOO

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harrowharkwife · 16 days

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for the character meme: dulcie or cam or pal or a character of ur choosing!!! hehe

!!!!! ty lem!! im gonna do my girl dulcie...

favorite thing about them: honestly just the way she's written- it never fails to make me emotional that she *is* explicitly written as being brave and strong, but tamsyn neatly sidesteps the "inspiration porn" ableist stereotype of writing a character as being brave/strong *because* they are sick. dulcie isn't brave or strong because of her illness. her strength and bravery are explicitly positioned, IMO, as being in response to surviving *ableism* and other people's condescension towards her and mistreatment of her, rather than surviving her illness itself, if that makes sense. her health is just a fact of her life, it's not moralized. which i really, really appreciate. it's a small shift, but it's very meaningful to me.

ALSO deeply special to me: her intentional and careful commitment to boundaries re: The Palamedes Of It All. a refreshing change of pace, as far as these books go vgjtjxdjt

least favorite thing about them: i mean. houser. :/

favorite line: three way tie between "truly, wonderful news for my haters," "i am sick of roses and horny for revenge," and "oops, there i go again, never doing what i'm told"

brOTP: gideon!!!!! i think it's a crying shame they've never met. i think they'd get along tremendously. the whole cytherea gideon thing was Horrid and Awful in so many ways, but it always Extra stings (in an adding-insult-to-injury sort of way) when i think about what it would have been like if gideon had REALLY met dulcinea, and not cyth. dulcie would've been a great friend for her, i think. they'd have been so good at making each other laugh

OTP: honestly these days it's cam? @ palamedes ily but get outta here gayboy it's yuri time now. plus i just love chewing on the concept of cam + comphet, and cam + subconscious internalized misogyny, and cam + gender, and cam + her relationships and interactions with other women. i think there's lots to explore there. camdulcie has a certain "when i was eight i didn't realize i had a crush on the new girl in my grade so i just wrote her a note that said 'get out of my school'" energy about it, To Me

nOTP: idk if i really have one for her, specifically? idk. ianthe or something, fuck it.

random headcanon: stoner. on all levels except physical she is taking fuckall huge bong rips. on the physical level though her lungs suck so i think she'd be a tincture girlie. she's got chronic pain she deserves it. am i projecting? you tell me

unpopular opinion: idk if this is an unpopular opinion exactly, but i always see people referring to thee rejected proposal as being something born primarily out of love/out of romantic intent? and i don't know if that's necessarily how i see it. it was CERTAINLY, and obviously, a factor. but at least from my interpretation of pal's monologue to cytherea at the end there, i get the sense that he had already accepted her boundaries in that regard, because he says he "understood that he was a child." and we also get camilla saying that his motivations in proposing were primarily a means-to-an-end way of getting her off the seventh and letting her die with dignity. iirc her exact words were like "so she could spend what time she had left with people who cared about her." like, don't get me wrong, i think pal is lying to himself if he says that being in love with dulcie wasn't PART of the motivation there. but i find it a lot more interesting in a worldbuilding and social commentary way to interpret the circumstances there as him offering, essentially, to be a hospice doctor at age 19, and marriage being the 'easiest' way to get her off the seventh/planet medical malpractice. there's an imperial misogyny ownership-through-marriage throughline there that's nauseating, as well as the implications re: disability and agency and autonomy, and i think that's all very interesting to explore. i think this view is supported in part by the paldulcie interaction in TUG, where she alludes to the idea that she was cognizant about the impact that bearing witness to death and loss up-close and personal like that changes a person, and that she didn't want to do that to pal and cam, especially given their age. i think it informa dulcie's character and grants her additional narrative agency to look at things from that angle, of her "no" being in reference to *both* the age gap AND her intentional choice to continue suffering on the seventh, rather than put two kids through being hospice caregivers and/or widowers at nineteen– no matter how many times and how sincerely they kept offering, no matter that she would've absolutely had a more peaceful and comfortable end-of-life HAD she accepted his proposal and gone to the sixth to die. i think it says a lot about her as a person, that choice. there's a quiet and meaningful responsibility to her as a person that i find fascinating. and her character is just sooooo firmly rooted in and informed by disability politics, on every level, and i feel like people don't engage with that aspect of her characterization enough!

song i associate with them: ooooh SO many, i have a whole playlist. but i think the biggest ones are

-the drama by kesha ("friday night, get too high, keep checking my pulse, am i dead yet?" / "in the next life i wanna come back, as a housecat as a housecat! i'd sleep and play in the sun, i'd be a fuckin' cute son of a gun!")

-avant gardener by courtney barnett (the whole song really, but especially the lines "the paramedic thinks i'm clever cause i play guitar, i think she's clever cause she stops people dyin'," and "i take a hit off an asthma puffer, i do it wrong, i was never good at smokin' bongs." i just think she'd love this song.)

-honorable mentions include stoned at the nail salon by lorde, life according to raechel by madison cunningham, rose-colored boy by paramore (@ palamedes, lmfao), picture me better by weyes blood, extraordinary machine by fiona apple, rubberband girl by kate bush, last words of a shooting star by mitski.

favorite picture of them: oh man well it obviously has to be my icon... art made for me by the lovely @franzias-cave !!!! based on the concept of "the woman is dying, please do her the decency of allowing her to look the part in fanart." my girl... she's a malign fairy, she's a hot-eyed wraith <3

ty lem this was so fun! i love my gworl :')

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little-diable · 11 months

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Infinity - Negan

My tiktok is filled with Negan edits from dead city, so I had to write another soft Negan drabble – no worries, no spoilers (I'm not watching the show). Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated. Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: The reader reminds Negan of the love they share

Warnings: none, just some making out and some softer Negan

Pairing: Negan x fem!reader (900 words)

“Hey, look at me.” Her voice didn’t tremble, didn’t give away the overwhelming wave of emotions clashing through her system. The cloudy sky added to the gloomy atmosphere the two were engulfed by, like a translucent veil reminiscent of their past years together. “We’ll make it, like we’ve managed to for a while now.”

His eyes were filled with pain. A pain so blinding, Negan had to swallow down the ever growing lump in his throat. His eyes projected the fear he didn’t dare voice out, the anger he still felt about the world going to shit all these years ago. There was not one ounce of happiness swimming in the pupils that watched her every move, following her around like a shadow.

“Negan,” (y/n) whispered his name, hands cupping his cold cheeks, feeling his salt and pepper beard against her palms. “We’re in this together, together on the run, together stuck in this awful life. And you know what? Being stuck with you makes this life a hundred times more durable.”

A raspy chuckle bubbled out of him, eyes momentarily fluttering close to cling to her soft words. (Y/n)’s thumbs kept stroking his cheeks, not daring to let go of her lover just yet, not when she knew that his mind and body were still filled with pain, pain that had grown stronger ever since losing Lucille, ever since killing all these people, ever since having to run and hide from those that wanted to see him dead. (Y/n) had been right there, for the better part of the years following the start of the apocalypse, listening to Negan’s every fear, lending him a helping hand and a shoulder to cry on.

“I love you, doll. I’m sorry you have to go through this with me.” She shook her head, lips tightly pressed together to keep her frustrated sigh from rumbling through her. Negan had always struggled to give into the emotions that made him appear weak, at least that’s what he called them, he had always struggled to let people in, but with her it had been easy, almost too easy, and yet he still didn’t believe her words.

“How many more times do I have to tell you that I wouldn’t trade a life with you for anything?” It was a whisper, and yet the words rang in his ears louder than shots going off, stronger than the force he had used to bash people’s heads in.

“Don’t say that, we both know it ain’t true.” Her thumbs stopped moving, hands tightening their grip on his face to tilt Negan’s head back up, forcing him to look at her. (Y/n)‘s eyes were filled with determination, a determination so foreign and yet so familiar, wordlessly telling her lover that there was no way out of this conversation.

“Sometimes I wonder if you truly understand the way I love you. There was nothing in my old life I loved as much as I love you. Would I like to get another chance to wake in my old bed, to drink coffee as I listen to the rain pitter pattering against my windows before having to go to work? Of course I would. Would I like to get another chance to hug my parents again, to tell them how much they mean to me? Of course I would, in a heartbeat. But if I’d have to trade you and our relationship for it, I wouldn’t. I’d always choose you, Negan. There’s no me without you.” Tears formed in his eyes, lips trembling as Negan tried to keep breathing, choking on the weight of her words, on the sincerity dripping from her lips like rain falling from the dark sky as a thunderstorm was just about to hit. He reached for one of her hands, pushing it against his chest, allowing (y/n) to feel the racing beat of his heart. She was the reason he kept fighting, the reason he was still breathing the same air she inhaled into her lungs, his end and his beginning.

Negan’s lips met hers, sharing a kiss that managed to give room to all the emotions he couldn’t put into words, the love he felt for her, ever growing like the rising moon. A love so infinite that even the millions of years old stars forming a nebula filled with the brightest colours as they died hadn’t ever seen a love so pure.

Their kiss grew more heated, lips parted to allow their tongues to move, drawing a soft moan from her. (Y/n)’s heart was picking up its beat, roaring in her chest to pump more blood, filling her veins like poison, a poison Negan shared with her, unable to find any antidotes. It was a kiss so raw, so pure, unlike any they’ve shared before.

Her back was pressed against the nearest wall, making her breath hitch in her chest as Negan’s hands found her waist, pushing himself even closer to her trembling frame. Raindrops started to fall from the sky, from the dark clouds that grew more black with every passing moment. They parted from one another, allowing their eyes to wander up to the sky, relishing in the silence for a few moments before Negan pulled her through the rain, set on finding shelter.

The rain will pass, as the upcoming days, weeks, and months will, their lives may change once again, but their love will stick around, only growing stronger.

#Negan imagine #Negan x reader #Negan fluff #the walking dead imagine

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

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AITA for telling the teacher I made a group project all by myself which made my classmates get a worse grade?

Background: im 16F and in eleventh grade, im in a new school which is only for eleventh and twelfth grade. So my whole class was all people who didn’t know each other. This happened in the first few weeks of school. Also english isnt my first language and I’m a very shy person.

We got the task from our English teacher in our first English lesson to make a presentation and poster. She choose our groups and we just sat together for like two minutes and then the lesson was over and I completely forgot who I was in a group with because I didn’t yet know anyone’s names. We had to do the presentation three weeks later so I figured in that time someone else would reach out to the group so I don’t really need to know who was in my group.

No one else reached out for a week and the teacher was sick for the next week so I couldn’t ask her who was in my group. So we now only have less than two weeks left to do the project.

I send a message in the class group chat asking who’s in my group. No one answers. A few hours later i send a message again and no one answers again.

So I decide, ok, im just gonna start this by myself and the others can help later I guess. So I get a big piece of paper, do some research, print pictures etc… I also message the group chat with pictures of what I’m doing.

We are now at the weekend before the presentation is supposed to be on Thursday and I still don’t know who’s in my group. A different classmate sends a message in the group chat to ask who’s in her group, and someone replies to her with some names, including MY name.

So I finally know my group and I make a group chat with just us and ask them about ideas and if they could maybe write some texts for the poster and what part of the presentation they want to do. No one answers. I keep doing the poster alone and send pictures. I don’t get more back than „looks good“ and „👍“.

Now we’re at the day before the presentation. I have a finished poster and I’m writing the last part of the text while sitting at the kitchen table. My sister is sitting there too and doing homework. I’m complaining about how I did the whole thing by myself and the others completely ignored my messages. She says I should just say to the teacher that I did it all alone. I don’t really want to do that, but frustrated as I am I write on the back of the poster „100% (my name)‘s work“, kinda as a joke, and actually planning to erase it later, but I forget to erase it.

It’s Thursday, we do our presentation as the last group before the break. The others read the texts I wrote. We don’t get our grades told yet but it’s not a bad presentation.

After the lesson we change rooms and I stay behind for some reason I don’t remember, when the teacher wants to talk to me because she saw that writing on the back of the poster and she asks if I really did the poster by myself. I say yes because it’s true and it literally is written there so how am I supposed to lie. She also notices that the texts everyone read (she collected those too) are all in my hand writing. So it’s clear to her I did the whole thing alone.

A week later we get told what grades we got. I have a 1 (best grade) while the other group members have a 4 (barely passing). They ask why and the teacher says they would have gotten a 6 (worst grade) but they at least did the oral presentation. She explains that I told her I prepared the presentation all alone, and then not just my group but the whole class erupted and called me an asshole and worse things until I actually started to cry and no one talked to me for weeks. The other people in my group said to the teacher and the class that I told them I wanted to do the project alone, which I didn’t, but maybe it seemed like that because I had already started it when I found out who was in my group?

My family said everyone else was an AH for making me do all the work and stuff. But I’m not sure because of that giant negative reaction that not just the people involved, but also the rest of the class had. I‘m quite a solitary person and didn’t have friends in the school I went to before this one, and because of that I’ve always made group projects alone and don’t know the etiquette around them. I also do feel bad that they got a bad grade because of me, especially if they really thought I didn’t want help.

TDLR: I did a group project alone because my group ignored me. We did the presentation together, and I told the teacher that I made the poster and the content of the presentation alone. The teacher then gave the rest of my group a bad grade. My entire class insulted me until I cried when they found out. I don’t have good social skills so im not sure if I was right or wrong.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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lulu2992 · 2 months

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Exploration of the now-offline Far Cry 5 official websites

Part 14: Jerome Jeffries

Recovered content

On the American website, Jerome was introduced on or before July 13th, 2017:

THE PASTOR JEROME JEFFRIES After serving in the Gulf War, Jerome returned to Montana to serve as the county’s Catholic parish priest. But with the influx of Project at Eden’s Gate, he lost his church and some blood along the way. Now, armed with the Good Book and a good gun, he’s ready to lead his congregation from the pulpit once again.

There was a link to this video:

youtube

In an article titled “Meet Far Cry 5's Characters” posted on May 26th, 2017, on the same website, this is what we could read about Jerome:

THE PASTOR, JEROME JEFFRIES Jerome was Hope County's parish priest for more than 15 years, and was one of the first in the community to befriend Joseph Seed, the founder of The Project at Eden's Gate. Before long, Jerome's flock left to follow Joseph, and Jerome tried to take it in stride – until Eden's Gate locked down the county. Not only did Jerome lose his church, but he was beaten and left for dead in the woods. Jerome survived and vowed to protect the cult's intended victims, and as a Gulf War vet, he's got the training and experience to lead Hope County back to the light.

On or before February 9th, 2018, on the page dedicated to the characters, his description was modified:

THE PASTOR JEROME JEFFRIES Pastor Jerome Jeffries is God’s hammer. He served in the first Gulf War and saw combat up close, then returned to Montana and has been the region’s pastor for over 15 years. When Joseph Seed arrived 10 years ago, Pastor Jerome Jeffries was one of the first to befriend him. It wasn’t long before many of the pastor’s congregation broke away and joined Joseph, calling him Father. Pastor Jerome Jeffries became uncomfortable with Joseph’s unorthodox worship, but conceded that people must choose their own path to God. Then came the lockdown. The Pastor was beaten, tossed in the woods, and left to die. He clawed his way back to life and headed back to Fall’s End to protect those in need with the Good Book in one hand and a gun in the other.

And on March 27th, 2018, while the text and the linked video remained the same, the presentation slightly changed:

On the European website, from March 10th, 2018 (or earlier), to at least February 7th, 2020, he was described as follows:

JEROME JEFFRIES THE PASTOR After serving in the Gulf War, Jerome returned to Montana to serve as the county’s Catholic parish priest. But with the influx of Project at Eden’s Gate, he lost his church and some blood along the way. Now, armed with the Good Book and a good gun, he’s ready to lead his congregation from the pulpit once again.

The video was the same as the American one, but uploaded on the Ubisoft UK YouTube channel:

youtube

Commentary

Jerome does say he once was “a pawn in an oil war” in Far Cry 5, and Mary May, that “he fought in Iraq one or two”, so the part about him serving in the first Gulf War (like Jacob) seems canon. Because of the (cut) description of the Lamb of God Church, I assumed he was Lutheran and not Catholic, so either I’m wrong or they changed their mind and that explains why the word “Catholic” then disappeared from the description.

He also talks about having been kidnapped by John, who managed to make him say things he’s apparently ashamed he said, then “beaten, tossed in the woods, and left to die”, after which he considered leaving but decided against it and to protect the people of Fall’s End instead when he found a copy of the Bible. Although that dialog is still in the game, it always bothered me in terms of the timeline because Jerome says the incident happened before the Deputy arrived, but the Reaping (so the cult locking down Hope County and capturing Fall’s End) only began after Joseph’s failed arrest...

As for the part about him befriending Joseph, it’s never mentioned in the game, but we can imagine Jerome did welcome the Seed family when they arrived. However, it’s reminiscent of the live-action trailer The Baptism, in which we also get a glimpse of Joseph dragging an unconscious Jerome. Several elements of the video, the most important and mysterious one being the little girl, were never explained and/or are inconsistent with the current story of Far Cry 5... but maybe not with early versions of it.

I don’t know how canon this description still is, but I think it’s yet another proof that the story in general and the cult’s methods in particular went through several changes during the development of the game and that, at one point, the locked-down county and the constant terror caused by Eden’s Gate were not new; they had been going on for weeks, maybe months or even years before the Deputy’s arrival, and Jerome had been fighting against them the whole time.

Under the cut are all the available source files, saved directly from the website, of the images you see in the screenshots:

#far cry 5 #jerome jeffries #joseph seed #john seed #mary may fairgrave

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maccreadysbaby · 25 days

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A Hundred Ways to Become a Wayne

batfamily + oc insert

tw: contemplated s**cide

wanna read more? here’s the table of contents!

want to read the first fic in the hundred days series so you understand what’s going on here? here it is!

im sorry but also no I’m not

part thirty-six

❝ OVER THE EDGE (ALMOST) ❞

THURSDAY — SEPTEMBER 3 — 9:00AM

BENTLEY WAS REALLY COLD.

“Don’t worry, Babybird — I won’t tell your secrets,”

Bentley breathed in and out three times before he could see. His breath was coming out as clouds of vapor in front of him, rising into the air. All he could see was the sky. A big, black mass peppered with millions of tiny twinkling stars, and a huge, bright full moon.

He blinked. There was a familiar dull ache at the base of his skull, and his muscles were kind of sore, in a strange, prickly kind of way. He was laying on something really hard and really cold. The wind was blowing, the freezing temperatures biting at his exposed skin and making it burn.

With a grunt of discomfort, he sat up. He was laying on the roof of a building in the freezing cold. The night’s sky was above, and over the concrete ledge that kept people from falling off the roof, Gotham was glowing. He had to be at least fifteen or twenty stories in the air.

The city looked much brighter from up there. He pushed himself off of the rooftop and stepped closer to the edge, peering off at the view. He could see a lot — more than he’d ever seen. Hundreds of buildings and tons of cars moving and people walking and… so many lights. Lights everywhere, all shining and twinkling. He blinked, utterly taken aback by the view.

In the distance, a large light flickered to life, projecting an image into the sky.

A bat.

Bentley stared in awe, a phantom of a smile quirking up on his lips. That was the signal people used to call Batman, right?

For a while, he just looked off the edge of the building, watching the cars, the people, the lights. At one point, he was pretty sure he saw Batman on a rooftop.

And then he realized someone was crying.

Bentley turned toward the sound, towards other side of the rooftop for the first time. More night’s sky and Gotham lights were visible past it, but that wasn’t what drew his attention — it was the person sitting on the ledge, their legs dangling freely over the sidewalk at least fifteen stories below. They were small.

Bentley glanced around, catching sight of the door that led to the roof, which was sitting slightly open. With a few hesitant steps forward, Bentley muttered: “Excuse me?”

They didn’t move. Their silhouette was nearly solid black from where Bentley was standing, outlined with lights and stars. They were shaking slightly, and he could hear them sniffling and sobbing quietly.

“Excuse me?” He tried again, stepping forward. “Are you okay?”

Nothing.

Bentley, slowly and steadily, made his way to the ledge about twenty feet from them, so he could see their face.

With the Gotham lights shining toward them now, he could see exactly who it was — it was Asten. He was holding his cell-phone in his hands with tears streaming down his face in a way Bentley hadn’t seen since he watched his parents die. His hair was a lighter blue than he remembered, and he looked… younger? Maybe? Only a little. He had on his Gotham Academy uniform, and his left eye was bruised spectacularly, making way for his bleeding nose. Well, it wasn’t bleeding anymore, but there was still blood on his face and peppered on his clothes that he hadn’t bothered to clean off. He was sniffling and spluttering pitifully, kind of like Nico at the bus stop, or Bentley after his first nightmare with the Secret Keeper.

“Asten?” Bentley tried, but of course, he went unheard. He waved one of his hands out toward his friend, but he didn’t see it. Why couldn’t anyone see him?

There were messages coming into Asten’s phone like mad. Since Bentley couldn’t be seen, he stepped closer, peering down at the screen.

Asten was texting Nico, and the texts he was receiving seemed to be a panicked, jumbled mess of where are you, his name, and the word please a whole lot. Bentley glanced up at Asten, who was staring at it but not typing back. His phone rang; he declined it. It rang again. He declined it again.

Bentley glanced around the empty rooftop again. The building was easily one of the tallest in the area — how did Asten even get up there? And why? He wished he could be seen, so he could help. Why was he crying?

Asten pulled a small, crumpled sheet of paper out of his pants pocket, and upon closer examination, Bentley realized it was a photograph of him and his parents. The cold breeze came and went again. It blew Asten’s hair around and made the little paper dance.

Bentley frowned in sympathy, glancing up at Asten, who was staring blankly at the photo. Texts were still coming in from Nico, one after another like clockwork.

Asten looked down at his phone, and with shaky fingers, typed a reply to Nico’s texts.

Everything would be easier if I was just dead.

Wasn’t that almost the exact same thing Bentley had said to Nico?

Bentley watched in silence as Asten sat his phone and photo off to the side, on the ledge next to him, staring off into the distance. There were texts and calls coming in like mad. The breeze whipped and blew as Asten moved, climbing off of the ledge and then right back on, this time, standing on it instead of sitting.

Bentley blinked. In an instant he was hearing his heart in his ears, and he reached for Asten’s ankle only for his hand to go through it, just like it had with Bruce when he watched Jason die.

“Asten,” He muttered, even though he knew it wouldn’t be heard. He blinked. Was Asten about to… I mean, Bentley had never seen… never thought… “Asten? Hey, Asten, please.”

The lights of Gotham were reflecting in Asten’s green eyes, tears and tear-streaks gleaming in the illumination. The breeze was whipping his blue hair and Gotham Academy uniform around. Bentley, panicked, reached for him again to no avail.

“Asten,” He repeated, moving closer. “Asten.”

Asten stared off the ledge, down at the sidewalk with people moving to and fro on it. He hiccuped, watching the people move closely, intently. Was he waiting… for them to get out of the way?

“Asten,” Bentley tried, his eyes becoming a little misty. “Asten, please get down.”

He didn’t. Instead, he actually moved closer to the edge like it didn’t even matter. Bentley reached for him again. It didn’t work.

“Asten, please, don’t,” He practically begged, the back of his eyes burning. What in the heck were you supposed to say to someone who was… like this?

Something changed about Asten’s eyes — about his whole face. He stopped crying. He seemed… normal. Calm. He didn’t look troubled anymore. Bentley looked down. There was no one on the sidewalk.

He quickly looked back up at Asten with a “No!” That went unheard.

Something moved behind them.

“You think we’re gonna have a blizzard tomorrow?”

Bentley and Asten both flinched in tandem when a familiar voice pierced the air. Asten didn’t turn, but his calmness left instead, and closed his eyes with a shaky breath and sent a few more tears down his face.

Bentley, however, did turn. He blinked blankly at a sight he hadn’t really expected — Red Hood was crouching in the center of the rooftop, his helmet still tight on his head.

Asten said nothing to Jason’s left field question, balling his hands into fists by his sides so tightly his knuckles turned white.

“Have you ever seen a superhero before?”

“Piss off,” Was Asten’s whispered reply, bringing a hand up to rub at his crying eyes. “Go away.”

“What’s your name?”

Asten grumbled in annoyance. “Piss off.”

Jason moved only about a millimeter closer, still crouched. “Would it hurt to tell me if you’re just going to jump anyways?”

For a moment, Asten got lost in thought, squeezing his hands tighter. He swallowed thickly, looking down off the ledge, at the sidewalk and road below.

“Asten,” He muttered, a hiccup breaking up the word in the middle.

Jason nodded. “Asten. How old are you?”

There was another moment of silence where Bentley just stood still, watching. Listening.

“Twelve,”

Jason shifted uncomfortably, and he seemed to look around before he continued: “Your phone is ringing. You know who’s calling?” It wasn’t his Jason voice or even his Red Hood voice. It was his Robin voice.

Asten didn’t reply to that one, but instead, shuffled his toes closer to the edge of the building. Bentley’s hand drifted up to his mouth and stayed there, and Jason moved, albeit slowly, closer.

“Don’t try to talk me out of it,” Asten muttered with a quiet sob, wiping at his eyes. “It won’t work.”

“I’m not. I’m just talking,” Jason replied smoothly, standing up. “I’ve been in the same position before, myself. I know how it feels; so jump.”

Asten’s eyes widened, and he looked backwards for the first time, eyes lingering on Jason’s helmet. “What?”

Jason inched forward until he was next to Asten, his boots against the ledge. “If you really have no hope at all; no one that loves you, no one that you can count on — if you really have nothing left that makes you happy, a person, an object, an activity that makes waking up in the morning worth it… then jump.”

Asten started to cry harder, bringing his hands up to his face.

Jason’s head turned subtly in the direction of Asten’s eternally buzzing phone. “But I have a feeling that isn’t the case.”

Asten said nothing, crying nearly uncontrollably into the sleeves of his Gotham Academy blazer. “I hate it here.”

“So did I,”

Asten tugged at his own hair, squeezing until his knuckles turned white again. “Why… didn’t you… jump?”

Jason breathed in and out deeply. “My brother cared enough to show up before I could.”

Just then, a round of two or three sirens faded softly into Bentley’s earshot, and Asten turned on a dime, glaring dangerously at Jason with a fire in his eyes. “You called the cops?”

“No,” The Red Hood replied lowly, grabbing Asten’s phone and holding it up so he could see the caller ID on the screen. It said Nico. “But I bet I know who did.”

Bentley watched in silence as more time passed, and two cop cars screeched to a halt at the bottom of the building they were on top of, followed by a black Mercedes. All three of the cars’ doors flew open, and people piled out, including a certain blonde who still had his phone pressed into his ear, who left the police in his dust to get inside the building.

Jason held his hand out, up toward Asten. His other hand was holding onto the grappling gun he had on his hip. “You wanna come down so you can talk to him?”

Asten stayed on the ledge for a few moments, shaking, crying, contemplating everything and nothing. It was probably the scariest few moments Bentley had ever witnessed.

Silence continued to pass until the door to the roof swung open, and Nico flew out, followed closely by his parents. He had obviously been bawling his eyes out, and let out a very desperate sounding: “Asten.”

That’s when Asten caved, reaching back and taking Jason’s hand. The vigilante grabbed him steadily by the arms and helped him off of the ledge, crying and all. Nico ran to him.

Bentley’s head felt like it was caving in. Splitting pain radiated from one side of his skull to the other, his limbs went limp, and the surface of the rooftop was hard when he hit it. With a groan of agony, he reached toward Red Hood’s boot.

Everything went black.

And then he jumped awake again, gasping deeply. He blinked a few times — they were in the bedroom with Asten.

Right. The bedroom. Asten — he was sick. The Secret Keeper. Reality was coming back to him — he and Nico, after their fight with the Secret Keeper, had gone upstairs, stayed utterly silent, and didn’t move. (Typical of them, right? If they weren’t panicking they seemed to not do much of anything at all.)

Bentley was curled in a ball on the loveseat, his head close to something else small that he quickly realized was a sleeping Nico. Sunlight was streaming in from the windows, Asten was still limp in the bed, and Jason was in one of two chairs situated near the door, reading a book to himself. His cell phone was laying face down on the arm of the seat. The clock next to Asten’s bed read 9:01am.

Apparently Jason and Asten had more of a history than Bentley realized. Maybe that’s why Jason was here? Even though Asten didn’t know it was him?

“Bad dream?” Jason questioned softly, and despite already knowing he was very much awake and alert, Bentley jumped at the sound of his voice.

“Mhm,” He hummed quietly, sitting up and re-situating himself.

“Secret Keeper stuff?”

“Mhm,” He repeated.

A moment of silence ensued, and Bentley dug his phone out of his pocket, piddling around with it for a few moments. He glanced at his friends. Asten was still unresponsive and limp in the bed, the washcloth laying on his head and IV in his arm. Nico was curled up in a tiny ball on the other side of the loveseat, beneath the same blue blanket that Bentley had been under.

He stared at his phone for a few more moments before he texted Jason: I saw a memory. You getting Asten off a ledge.

Jason’s phone dinged. He picked it up, read the message, and then glanced up at Bentley. They shared a moment of silent eye contact. Jason’s thumbs were hovering, but not moving, so Bentley typed again.

You said you’d been in that position before.

Neither of them looked up, but the air in the room seemed to get thicker. Bentley listened for the telltale little taps of Jason’s fingers, but they never came. So, instead of ignoring it like he typically would, he sent another text.

Would you have really done it? Jumped?

More silence, this time even more tense, thicker. Jason’s typing bubbles came up and went away a few times, and then his message came through:

Back then? I think so.

Bentley typed again. Why didn’t you?

Dick showed up.

Bentley glanced up at Jason, blinking at the way his phone light was illuminating his white streak. Jason didn’t take his eyes off of the screen. He’d told Bentley first hand about being at rock bottom, so maybe this was what he was talking about when he said he got close to death again? It gave Bentley a weird feeling.

Would you do it now? Was the next message Jason got.

Typing bubbles came and went on Bentley’s phone again, before a one-word text came through: No.

Bentley exhaled a breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding.

You promise?

“I promise, Bentley,”

He glanced up at Jason, who was looking back at him with his white streak and greenish-blue eyes.

More quietness passed.

“Jason?”

“Hm?”

Bentley blinked a few times, his eyes moving here and there, not settling anywhere for too long. The mental image of Jason on a ledge like Asten was made the back of his eyes burn. The fact that Jason had gotten to that point before.

Bentley blinked again, clearing his throat subtly. Glanced at his friends to make sure they were really asleep. “I watched you die,” He whispered. “When I was kidnapped, I… saw it.”

Jason breathed out, shifting on the chair, becoming increasingly uncomfortable. He opened his mouth; nothing came out.

“The Joker, I was… and I couldn’t…” Bentley took a breath. “I saw all of it.”

No one spoke.

“I already told you but I… want you to know that…” Bentley sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m really, really glad you’re alive.”

Another long spurt of silence passed. Bentley just sort of looked at Asten, watching his chest rise and fall beneath the quilt.

“Kid…”

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to,” Bentley continued, glancing up at Jason, who looked oddly tense. “It’s okay.”

So Jason didn’t say anything.

Bentley picked at the bottom of the blanket. “I don’t know why she shows me this stuff. I’ve seen a ton of things — she showed me some of the different futures I could have. I’ve seen… me die… and you were, uh, trying to save me. In a glowing green pool. I saw my headstone.”

Jason’s eyes traveled back up to Bentley and bounced around for a few moments, his expression darkening at his words. “You aren’t going to die.”

Bentley looked down at his hands. “I also saw one where I was… back with my dad. And I… helped him, uh…” He trailed off, staring intently at the cushions of the loveseat. “And I saw where I was Robin and Tim was Batman.”

Jason didn’t speak, but he had a detective-y look on his face again.

“I just want to make the right choices. To unlock a good one,” Bentley continued with a sigh. “Which is why I need your help.”

Jason leaned forward in his chair. “Kid-“

“It’s not hard. You can say no, I just…” He squeezed the blanket between his fingers. “I want to go visit my father.”

Silence.

“And I want you to take me,”

—

dedicated to @sassenashsworld 💚

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tag list! (If you want me to remove or add you, ask in comments!)

@fleur-alise @sarcopterygiian @flyrobinflyy @skylathescholar @gayboss-too-close-to-the-sun @xiaonothere

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